#you two are one of my closest people since 2019-2020...

[lemonykleonella]

Thank you For making me feel alive again For making me believe in myself again For making me have passion again For saving me There's no words out there that can describe how I feel without me sounding cheesy and corny, but you have no idea how much you helped me rediscover myself. I wish there were more times when I could see you. Maybe one day.. we could do it all again Thank you so much for that day of January 8th, 2023 @jampreserves @banyanas

[peachjagiya]

excuse me for the mini essay but my thoughts on what was being discussed earlier:

i feel like as a fan who was here early on i don’t think about wanting “proof” (🤨) because i lived through everything in real time and didn’t binge everything and then wait for “moments” to happen and their relationship remained consistent to me especially with solo era and tkk clearly being the closest members regardless of the nature of their relationship.

even fans that joined in 2019/2020 are still “newer” fans to me given that bts hasn’t promoted as a group since 2022 and it makes a lot of sense that they would get caught up on things like rumours. at the end of the day, they’re still celebrities living in a country that’s still widely homophobic. it’s better for them in the long run if there are people that stop micro analyzing their interactions because they believe wtv rumours are true (that’s definitely what bighit wants). especially when it’s international fans that in general love spreading certain things that they view as big “proof” for engagement and to convince other ppl.

i have never wanted “proof” because they were just my two favorites and i just noticed their bond being different from other members. and even if i do think they have something i don’t “want” them to be “real” because i empathize with them as an lgbt person and understand how hard that would be for them already just as citizens of sk but especially as celebs. i have never been one to ship real ppl even in kpop where the companies are selling it to you as part of marketing. i had a friend that stopped following tkk because they weren’t like her kpop ships from other groups that were straightforward and she could just have fun enjoying but instead made her confused 😂. if you’re stressing too much about them being “real” or not it’s better to at least distance yourself a bit.

and honestly saying they want “proof” from them really rubs me the wrong way. why would they do that when it’s better for their safety for ppl to be confused or just straight up not think there’s anything there 🤦‍♀️.

More thoughts. Thank you. Important stuff about proof and shipping in a homophobic country.

I agree - demanding proof is a slippery slope. Because actually, there's a sizeable chunk of people for whom "proof" would still not be enough.

It's entirely possible they've provided as much proof as they can or want to. So the respectful thing to do is to just enjoy what they've given without fretting.

Theorising is a muddy area but I think it's human nature to do it.

Ok shall we put this to bed now? I don't want anyone to feel like they're not shipping correctly. 💜

Edit: actually you know what, keep sending. I think it's helpful to share a healthier way of looking at it. 💜

[incorrectonceandfuturenerd]

Happy Ten Year Anniversary @onceandfuturenerd! A few of us over on the discord server put together an audio compilation of us talking about how much we love the podcast and what it means to us. There's a transcript below the cut that also has the names of who's speaking in each clip.

Thank you so much for making this wonderful podcast, and congratulations on ten years!

Kat: I love most things about The Once and Future Nerd. The characters, the setting, the genre awareness, the humor. It’s my favourite podcast for a reason, and that’s saying something as I’ve listened to over a hundred. I remember listening to the show for the first time in late 2016, it was... Christmas concert season and I was walking back and forth pretty much exclusively between my dorm, rehearsal, class, and the dining hall. Um. But somehow, despite that very limited time, I managed to listen to all of The Once and Future Nerd over the course of approximately two days, and fell in love with it pretty much immediately. Um, at the time, all of book one was out, which was, uh, less than there is now, but still a significant amount of podcast to listen to over the course of 48 hours. Um. Aside from how wonderful I continue to find the podcast, The Once and Future Nerd has also allowed me to have access to a community I never would have had otherwise. After creating the discord to talk more about the show with a few other folks, I met some of my closest friends. As of sending this message, I have sent-- and I checked right before- before I did this-- in the server alone, 28,638 messages. That is not including direct messages to my friends, that is just directly in the server. Um, the server has also had a long-running Dungeons and Dragons game that’s been going since spring of 2019, and has had multiple bl- book clubs, including one that meets weekly has consistently since spring of 2020. It’s been one of the most fulfilling community experiences of my life, and it all ties back to The Once and Future Nerd. Creating stupid inside jokes like Gy’y Fy’ryy and Elves Have Fur and Antonin being the sexiest the character no matter what any polls say, he better win this last one, I swear... um, it’s been one of the great joys of my life over the last five years. Thank you so much for all the love and joy, humor, tears, and so much more that The Once and Future Nerd has brought to my life and to the lives of many others. The story’s been wonderful, y’all are wonderful, and I hope you continue for many years to come. Happy ten year anniversary.

Nicole: What do I love about The Once and Future Nerd? This is going to sound weird, but I love how specific it is. The Once and Future Nerd is such a peculiar blend of genre and humor and social commentary, that it’s a near perfect filter for finding like-minded people. I’ve met some of my best friends through this podcast and I’m so grateful I found it back in 2016. At the time, it was so hard to find fantasy audio dramas, so I was immediately drawn to The Once and Future Nerd for that alone, uh, when I was trying to search for some. I really liked the concept, enough to make me listen until Monsters, because that’s the chapter that hooked me. I devoured the rest of book one after that, only pausing to sleep and attend lectures... and sometimes listening to it during lectures. Sorry, not sorry to my stats prof. If I had to pick a favourite moment, I would have to say Yllowyyn’s confrontation with Ry’y lo-Th’yyt in Bridges. I think that one is burned into my brain because I was a crowded train trying not to freak out at the time. This podcast means a lot to me as a source of connection with others and it’s just a plain fun story. Thank you, Zach and Christian and everyone who works so hard on it. It’s been going for ten years, and I don’t care if it takes ten more.

RJ: I found The Once and Future Nerd in February of 2017 as a depressed 18-year-old in my first year of university, and I think I listened to everything that had been released at that point in about a week? I love it because of the genre subversion and genre awareness, I love the characters, I love the way it challenges expectations and engages with complex topics with care... I really, really like listening to this podcast, but more than that, I like talking about this podcast. The main thing that makes me keep coming back to The Once and Future Nerd, keep listening, and that makes it important to me, is the community I’ve found in listening to it. I joined the discord server two days after it was created, and that remains the only fandom space where I’ve successfully made actually close online friends. To the point where the friendship has expanded beyond just our shared enjoyment of the podcast into just... being friends. It’s really great to get to know these people, to plan things like this anniversary event with them, to have things like a weekly book club, or collaborations on projects, or just conversations about silly and serious things related to the podcast, and unrelated to the podcast. And none of that would have happened without The Once and Future Nerd so, thank you. Thank you for being the reason that I know these people, thank you for being the reason that I have been inspired to make creative things, from fanart to videos to what have you, uh... I love your show so much, congratulations on ten years, and I can’t wait to hear what comes next.

Dirk: Hey, this is Dirk. Uh, I don’t remember when I started listening to this podcast, it was years ago-- but I do remember being immediately drawn in by the brief and tragic tale of Mr. Fluffy Toes. The mix of humor and sass and sincerity, it immediately struck me. As the story went on, I delighted in Nelson being shockingly genre-savvy about this fantasy world and, honestly? I really enjoyed the fact that the world at large ignored the kids at first. That’s not something you often get in portal fantasies. Uh, I’ve also always deeply enjoyed the queer representation and tongue-in-cheek political commentary... As if that wasn’t enough, you all gave me a chance to write for your podcast. I had so much fun with the Bailey sisters short, and with making up a whole-ass holiday! It was so much fun. And even though I had to recuse myself from the later plotline, I’m still here to listen to how it goes. My inability to write for it has absolutely no bearing on your grace and kindness to me, and even though I dread how it will make me feel because of my own personal issues, I know that I can trust whatever it turns out to be. Like so many pod- things in this podcast, it’s gonna be sensitive, sometimes funny, sometimes deeply tragic, or terrifying, and it will never punch down. Because that’s the kind of podcast you have made. Happy ten year anniversary, thank you so much for all that you’ve given us. And I hope you can continue making whatcha love for as long as you want to be making it. And like... Let’s be real. As long as you’re making this, we’re gonna be here for it, so... Thank you.

Oriana: I had the podcast recommended to me by a friend who was very active on the reddit at the time. I love that The Once and Future Nerd is not afraid to look long and hard at The Implications of a lot of fantasy tropes. I kept listening because I wanted to know what new ideas would be explored next. One of my favorite moments is the speech that Traft gives about how the Princes of Iorden do alchemy. The Once and Future Nerd is the first thing that I got to write for that has an established audience and... that was very cool. Thank you for everything.

Aja: Hey guys my name is Aja, and I just wanted to say congrats on ten years of a fantastic podcast. I started listening to The Once and Future Nerd back in 2017, 2016, not long after I’d gotten my bachelor’s degree from college and right as I was starting to realize that I wanted to go back to school to get my teaching degree. So it- it came at a really special time in my life. What kept me coming back over all these years is the fantastic character development, especially for the kids, uh, in the story, but also for everybody else, and I’ve also just really appreciated the, uh, subversion, I guess, of fantasy tropes. I think it’s kept the story really interesting and really relevant, and it’s- it’s so real, despite being a fantasy story, so. Thank you so much for all of your hard work, and I look forward to listening for... as long as you keep making this podcast. Thanks guys.

Aster: The Once and Future Nerd is one on an ever-growing list of podcasts that I deeply love despite being upwards of a year behind on, and every time I am able to get back to listening to it, I am in awe of the incredible world that it shows. And a special thanks to the podcast for finally, really, dragging me down into the incredible world of audio drama fandoms.

Teddy: Well, first of all congrats on ten years, that is a tremendously long time to work on a project, and it’s an excellent project to have been worked on. I’ve loved the podcast for... a while. I’m not quite as into it as I used to be, but I still listen to the episodes whenever they come out. Uh... I first listened to the podcast all the way back in, I believe 2016? Uh, when I was in college. One of my friends was listening to it at a DnD session and I heard just one clip of it-- I think it was the scene where Regan had a threesome with the barkeep and his partner? I don’t remember exactly what happened in that scene but, uh... [laughs] it was interesting enough to draw my attention, and I talked to my friend about what the podcast was about, and I decided to go ahead listen to it, and so I listened to it. It hit all the right notes for me. I really loved the emphasis on diversity, and the science that went into it. I thought the science... um, the way science and magic integrated in the show was really fantastic and clever. You know, I really loved the characters. I think I listened to the entire podcast, up until the beginning of covid, about... three or four times through, and then since the pandemic when everything’s slowed down I’ve only listened to it another couple times since then. But, even though it’s no longer quite my main fandom or anything... But I think that I’m going to continue listening to it for as long as it comes out. Even if it’s never my big passion, it’s gonna be one of those quiet, comfortable, familiar things that will be a thread woven throughout the path of the rest of my life. Or not the rest of my life, but, you know, a good portion of it. However long- however much longer it goes, um. But, yeah, uh, congrats again on ten years of The Once and Future Nerd, and thank you for creating it. It’s really fantastic, I love it so much.

Rachel: So I found The Once and Future Nerd shortly after the pandemic started. A friend reached out to me who, um, I had met in college, and she asked to connect and we started calling every week, and we eventually started listening to this podcast together because she was already a fan, and she thought I would love it-- she was totally right. Um [small laugh], and we listened to this for almost a year, almost like a book club. Um, and we talked about it, and we got deep into the themes which was really enriching for me, that’s one of my passions, I got a degree in it. Uh, in, um, literature, so just picking apart stories and I-I was- I’ve always been impressed by how crunchy it is. How the characters feel fleshed out and stood apart from each other, and how so many tropes you think you understand and then you guys subverted them. Um. And then, while I don’t listen to The Once and Future Nerd right now, I have other podcasts that I do listen to, and before listening to The Once and Future Nerd with Kat I was not a podcast person. So, because of this podcast I actually have maintained a friendship, and I’ve gained a whole new ways to access stories, and it’s been pretty marvellous. And I’ve loved that a lot. So I’d like to thank the creators for those two sparks of joy in my life.

Kellie: Congrats on ten years! Um. I have not been listening to The Once and Future Nerd for ten years, I’ve been listening more like the past, like, one and half or so years, um, and I am so glad that I started listening. This podcast means a lot to me, it is one of my favourites, and not only is it just individually enjoyable for me, it’s also brought me closer to a lot of people, um, the existence of the podcast itself has brought me into a community that I value so deeply, and brought me close to so many people who I just love and adore. So, I mean, you know, obviously you’re doing something really right if, uh, you’re bringing people close together for lifetime friendships, uh, by making, you know, content. And that’s amazing in and of itself. But also, just, the podcast itself is so good. I mean, first of all, it’s great quality, it’s, you know, these... these wonderful little stories that are so, so gay. [laughs] And that analyze interesting topics in a really nuanced way. I can’t express the appreciation that I have for the way that y’all talk about these topics cause they’re always- they’re handled so well. Um. So, instead... [laughs] so instead of trying to express that, um, I will instead express that I just love how... I love when Arlene and Gwen are gay. Like, that’s just great. You know? It’s fantastic. And they’re so, so gay, and it’s so, so wonderful every single time. [sighs] And also Regan is just so hot. You know? Like. Uh, I... [sighs] Good for her, you know? Good for her. And good for y’all for- for having this podcast be- be going on for so long and still going strong. It’s- it’s so much fun and I’m so excited to keep listening to it. I’m not all the way caught up! But I’m working on it and I’m r- just enjoying every moment along the way. Thank you for what you do, cause what you do is so great. It’s incredible. Thank you.

Drak: The Once and Future Nerd. Um. What it means to me. So I had really bad migraines a couple years ago. Uh, to the point of, I had to blindfold myself for days and weeks at a time, uh, in order to avoid a debilitating migraine. And, um, so I found myself suddenly having to navigate the world without being able to see. The worst part of it was the boredom because I couldn’t read fanfiction, I couldn’t, uh, do most of my crafting hobbies, I couldn’t play video games. Um, obviously there are, you know, ways that people can do those things while blind, but I did not have any of those accommodations at the time. And so I started listening to podcasts, and I found The Once and Future Nerd and while listening to it, sitting in my room, by myself, uh, blind and in pain, The Once and Future Nerd took me away from my loneliness and my boredom and my pain and, you know, kind of, uh, saved my life. Uh, because I had something to help me get through a difficult period of my life, and, um. On top of that, you know, I-I love how much care and thought the crew and the cast and everyone involved puts into the story, um, in terms of being, like, sensitive about topics and as well as, like, trying to, um, provide good representation for, uh, marginalized voices, and um. I just. God, I love this podcast so much. Thank you, thank you so much for everything y’all do. The Once and Future Nerd is... I-I recommend it to everyone I know, even if they don’t like podcasts because I-I really think it’s that good. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Sen: I love this podcast for its tapestry of fantasy tropes, the funny takes, and the moments of awesome. For multifaceted, diverse characters that I hadn’t encountered in other mediums before, and [sighs] well, for a gorgeous sound design that brings it all together. I found this podcast back in the middle of 2018. I was in a really, really bad place then, I was failing my classes, um, due to depression and anxiety for which I had begun taking medications too, which was not easy to adjust to. I just- I couldn’t concentrate on anything at all. So, I ended up searching for, uh, podcasts, and specifically what I would do back then is I would read the scripts and then I’d decide to listen to the whole thing later, you know. I read the first two episodes, then I just decided fuck it. I’m gonna listen. This podcast, and a few others, they were what got me through a really difficult time, but, you know, what made me keep listening then after that was just that it keeps on getting better. Personally, my favourite moment in TOaFN is, uh, episode three of I’ve Been Working on the Whale Road. Because, okay, yes, there are the pilot- uh, pirates, and there is Maddy Groves, but then there is also Bryce’s death. An ignoble death, nobly done. I get emotional thinking about it, but I think the way that Bryce died, it touches you, I think. And I think that... that balance between the humor and the silliness and the sincerity, and the love, I think, uh, it’s always- it touches you. I love this show for its emphasis on storytelling, the words “people are the stories they tell, power is who gets to tell those stories” th-they’re ingrained in my mind at this point. I resonate with the philosophy so much, and I’m so grateful to this show for getting me through tough times and for teaching me things about storytelling, about myself. And for the people that I have met through this show. In the discord server, the long-running DnD game, um, those people that, like, I got close to, and the book club folks, er, that I get to chat with on occasion. They make me laugh and they make me smile and I can confide in them, they’re always there and... I just- I- Thank you so much, for giving me all of that.

CJ: Congrats on ten years!

[lajulie24]

For the ask game?

27. How long did it take to write Won’t Do? Describe the process. (Since it’s still in process, maybe how long per chapter?)

27. How long did it take to write One Half Won’t Do? Describe the process. (Since it’s still in process, maybe how long per chapter?)

*laughs maniacally for a moment*

So, One Half Won’t Do was originally born from an idea I had in September 2019. Yes, you read that correctly. Four years ago. I can’t believe it either sometimes. So the story of writing this fic (so far, it’s not done yet, hopefully I will get the next chapter done soon) is the story of several things, in part that whole global pandemmie thing really making it difficult to concentrate or get much writing done for a long while there, but mostly the story of a pretty good idea for a oneshot completely breaking containment.

(Apologies in advance, I get kind of wordy when I talk about these things. If it threatens to get super long I’ll put some of this behind a cut.)

So anyway, at that time @hanleiachallenge was doing a monthly prompt, and people would write fics inspired by that prompt and they would reblog them. Kind of like HanLeia Week but a monthly single prompt thing. The prompt that inspired this fic was “tropes.” My fic tends to be fairly trope-y anyway, so I was looking for something different, and came up with, what about fake marriage with a bit of a twist? Usually when Han and Leia have a UST-filled time because they are pretending to be a couple but (ostensibly) aren’t, it’s the outside world who is fooled by the ruse and notice what a great couple they make, but all their friends back at the Rebellion know they’re not REALLY an official couple. What if, instead, Han and Leia had gotten fake married for a mission, but for REASONS even their closest friends didn’t know it wasn’t real, and totally bought that they’d really gotten married? And maybe they had to keep pretending for a while? So really the first thing I came up with was Chewie and Luke assuming they really HAD gotten married and being royally pissed off that they weren’t included and had to find out from rumors on base.

I talked with fellow writer @amilynh and bounced some ideas off of her, and she helped me think through an actual reason why they would keep pretending once they got back from the mission, and how they would end up on the mission in the first place, and how to include Chewie and Luke being surprised but then make it so that they could be part of a very tiny circle of beings who knew the truth. And I started writing, and it was going great…and I got my first clue that this fic was going to expand. I wrote about Leia and Han on the actual mission where they get married (or their aliases do) but Leia started having a lot of feelings about being dressed in wedding attire and cultural traditions and the like.

So that fall I think I finished most of the first chapter as well as some scenes that ended up later chapters, although at that time it was all one big chapter. I thought it was just going to be a long one-chapter fic. But I was realizing that I didn’t have the scenes I wanted quite filled out enough to actually finish and post it yet, and I did have a sort of natural stopping place that was pretty much ready. So I asked some other writer friends (including @graciecatfamilyband) what they thought, and I was kind of itching to post something anyway, so when they said “you should post the first part and make it a two-chapter fic” I listened. That was winter 2019-2020.

Each time I have posted a chapter of this fic, I have thought, “the next chapter will be the last, I will finally wrap it up then.”

Some scenes I wrote pretty early on haven’t shown up until much, much later in the fic — for instance, some version of “Han does a desperate search of the random junk in his ship storage because he told the Rogues he gave Leia a Corellian wedding stone and now needs to show them the stone” was written around the same time I posted the first chapter. Other things, like a scene with Rieekan telling Han that his bounty recently went up, weren’t written until very soon before I posted that chapter.

Chapter 1 was probably the most straightforward writing experience; subsequent chapters have taken a while because I would have 80-90% of the chapter written, but there was just a scene or a few that I needed to connect things and have a satisfying narrative, and writing those last few scenes would take me a couple of months (off and on). I had the concept for “the Rogues want to throw Han and Leia a wedding reception on base” pretty early on, but it took a while to connect that to the rest of the story and lead into why that would come up, and I ended up editing it a lot.

I have at least some of the ending already written. I know how this fic ends. The tricky part is getting from where I am to there. Perhaps in the next chapter? (See above GIF.)

Anyway, the good news is that I really enjoy writing this one, and already have a good start on the next chapter. And the encouraging comments and support do really help with the motivation! So thank you.

Thank you for the ask!

Questions for fic writers

[skinnydreams9898]

To Myself:

April 16th, 2024

Im so afraid of everything. Im afraid of my career, and whether or not I’ll be able to make it. I’m afraid of being in love, and all of the ways it could end one day. I’m afraid of myself, and how much I’ve improved over the past four years, and how that means that I can no longer use suicidal ideation as a coping mechanism, and now I don’t really know what to replace it with.

And I am so afraid that the more I grow and the older I get, the more I’ll have to be afraid of.

But I am also so incredibly proud of myself. I love everything I’ve accomplished and become the past four years. Every. Single. Fucking. Day. Since February 9, 2020 has been a day with effort. Literally every day. I haven’t skipped one. And it shows. And I know that it doesn’t matter how afraid I am, because I don’t really have a choice but to keep going anyways. I don’t get to just give up. I am too capable, too strong, with too much ahead of me.

My spiritual path has shifted and changed so much. I actually had to rip apart a lot of my identity and rebuild it because when I finally found the truth, I realized how much of my old beliefs were embedded into self identity, and it was so hard to let it go. I still struggle. But I’m learning. And I’ve made such incredible leaps in this path. I have seen and experienced things that made me think I was absolutely crazy, and then realize I *wasn’t* crazy. And it’s the most mind blowing, exciting, emotional and intensely peaceful thing that I never knew could exist.

My goals for my life and my days are always shifting. And there’s so much I can be better on. But the fact that I am still here, always working, means that I will be better.

I’m so thankful for my partner. I’m so thankful for my team lead. I’m so thankful for my babies. God, I’m thankful for Seymour. And, more than anything, I am wildly thankful for me. I am thankful for the little girl that was neglected and abused and made to be a parent before 3rd grade. I’m thankful for the young preteen who experienced her first severe loss and started hurting herself for the first time. I’m thankful for the teen who was chaotic and insecure and kept getting into bad situations and tried to kill herself repeatedly. I’m thankful for the girl who broke two hearts by breaking one, and entered young adulthood wondering why she lived that long.

Every version of me is one that was trying her best with what she knew at the time, even when she made mistakes. And they are the reason that I am still here, and I am who I am now.

I am wildly in love with myself and my life. I have a partner that I don’t have to guess with. Who shows me incredible things and takes care of me. Sees me. Really *sees* me. In this plane, and the next. I am in a career that I never even knew I’d find such a deep passion in. I get so emotional over how much I am in love with it. I have cut off a lot of people recently that I thought had a permanent place in my life, and it put me through the closest thing to a break down I’ve had since 2019, but even through that I knew that I wanted to be alive.

All of this to say, this app has seen so many sides of me the past 10 years. None of which ever wanted to live, nor did they ever think I ever would want to.

But I’m here. And I do. And I am so proud of it.

So, future me, if it all falls apart, and the partner leaves, the career falls flat, and more people exit your life, it will be okay. The common denominator in the good things in your life is not luck like you always thought it was. The common denominator, is simply you. The magic of who you are and how you exist in this world. So don’t abandon yourself again. No matter who else may.

I hope that the you can look back on this version of you, the one writing this, with the same love, understanding, and gratitude. And I hope that I make you proud and make your life easier.

[carissimipaixao]

Hi! I just wanted to say thank you for the great writing, especially your Lupin stuff (fr it’s so hard to find)

For the ask tag I’d like to hear: B, G, I, and M

That’s all, keep up the good work 😚✨

these aren't tears, you're seeing things 🥺😭 but seriously, thank you so much! i'll keep doing my best, just for you, dearest anon

also, this reply actually got very long, so i'll be putting under a "read more"!

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

hmm, well, i do try to incorporate my personal experience(s), depending on the subject and the story itself. for example, i think i tend to add my own mannerisms into characters' getting ready, how they have their inner dialogue, etc.? it's really splattered everywhere, although it's never fully self-indulgent either. i don't like making readers/oc feeling completely like empty slates. people can add/change things as they read the stories to themselves! (fun fact: when i was younger, i'd pretend fics' dialogue went differently, because i felt like the stories were awkward or out of character, and proceed reading according to my own changes or personal tastes) however, the closest fic i have to personal experience is this fic for yu-gi-oh, because it's 100% based on a very vivid dream i had with yami malik chasing me, as i ran in circles in the dark.

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

well, most of the time (or for one-shots), it's from start to finish. sometimes i start a story but then decide that scene fits better for the middle of the story, so then i go back and write the beginning to get to that same scene (which might get rewritten or not, so it's incorporated nicely into the story). however, if there is a particular scene i am dying to write, i sometimes go ahead and write it and i let it sit there until the current storyline gets there. then, i might rewrite it, depending on how long it has been since i picked the project up or depending on any new details on the plot or characters. this is a maybe scenario when writing one-shots, but it's a definitely when i'm writing multi-chapter stories.

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

i really, really love time travel and stories involving alternative timelines, multiverses and that sort of thing. if i catch any tag that merely suggests it or a summary of a fic involving it, i'm clicking and i'm reading it for sure. i even have a doc (all the way from 2020) based on a project that may come out soon, where a lupin and jigen from another universe show up in the current universe, where jigen and the protagonist have completely different backstories and relationship. and i'm actually creating a doc where i will try to write down the gist of each main version of the main lupin cast, in case i decide to do the same type of fic for other characters. maybe people would like to read how, for example, a certain jigen would react to a certain scenario compared to another jigen? it's complicated. the doc is still very much in progress and i'll try to combine certain universes/iterations of lupin just so that it's a small guide (and considering certain iterations are quite similar). additionally, i like reading dark stuff, especially yandere!

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?

pearls and daggers (name subject to change)! it's a story pairing up jigen and reader/oc (i say original character because there is a reason for it, but readers can 100% see themselves as the protagonist), in a sort of slow burn/enemies to lovers situation. it's also going to be set before and after jigen meets/works with lupin. there might be another (former) pairing with the reader/oc, but we'll see! it's been in the works for two to three years now, because, as i've said in the past, 2019-2022 were difficult years to write in, due to blockages and lots of things going on, but i'm definitely looking forward to posting it and talking about it! alternatively, this series (because there will be extra stories, alternative scenes, etc.) will most likely get side-stories featuring other couples, such as lupin/reader, fujiko/reader, goemon/reader and zenigata/reader. these stories will have a somewhat different plot or pairing development, considering jigen's story is the main plotline. people can request prompts or even one-shots set in either of these plotlines, if they want, too!

also, like it was for what a thing to admit, i will be releasing a short story (20k+ words) for jigen, called chamber of reflection!

fanfic ask game!

[rgbfall]

I was gonna just infodump in the tags, but fuck it this topic is super interesting and im literally writing an essay on it, so I'm gonna yell about this topic for a bit

So, fun little fact, autistic people are actualy 8(.1) times more likely to identify as ace than NTs are! which is a lot! it's the most common sexuality for autistic people. The closest category after this is "other", which is anything other than ace, bi, straight or gay lumped together into one group, and that's about 7.6 times more likely, and only not even twice as likely to be bi (on average) (1)

Then the other way round, as over half of asexual people are neurodivergent (2), and around 37% of aro people are neurodivergent (3)

So yeah, autistic people are wayy more likely to be aspec and vice versa. And sure, not every autistic person is aspec or every aspec person autistic, but it's pretty likely if someone is one they are also the other!

gonna add a lil more under a cut about why i think the reasoning this is, but for now sources:

&lt;(1) orientation in autistic people> <(2) 2019 ace community survey> <(3) 2020 aro survey>

So why do I think this is? Well first ima give a lil more info about the essay I'm writing, which discusses explanations for why there's such a massive intersection between neurodivergent people and LGBTQ+ people. Before starting my essay, I did a lil survey (only 11 ppl really it was more to get some ideas for why queer neurodivergent people thought there is a link between the two things.

As part of that survey, I asked if people, regardless or orientation, felt as though neurodivergence affected how they experience any attraction, including stuff like platonic. 5 people said yes, 2 were unsure and 4 said no. Reasons given for this included:

"maybe difference in social skills means I often use more romantic language and actions ("I love you,", calling people pet names like babe, being outwardly affectionate) with close friends effects the way my platonic love is shown, but I don't know if it effects the emotions"

"I find relationships harder to build and find intimate relationships, platonic and romantic, more rewarding."

"Yes ... because I never text my friends back and I can’t be bothered to date anyone because it sounds like so much work and idk how other people just causally get a s.o. Like bro aren’t you stressed out and also bored?? I’d rather just avoid it forever""

*these are all a mix of neurodivergent people, so isn't exclusively an autistic experience

Generally it's stuff to do with struggling to form and maintain relationships, which makes sense bc autistic (and other neurodivegent) ppl tend to have a harder time with communication!

And since some forms of being aspec are actually genuinely bc people are just not interested in relationships, it could be to do with that! autistic ppl have a hard time forming relationships and attachments, and so might not bother or instead decide to label this difficulty!

Also, I know you said general aphobic and ableist arguments tend to say autistic/aspec ppl are emotionless, but that is genuinely my (autistic and aroace) experience with attraction. I am literally loveless, so like. lmao yeah sure being autistic literally DOES make me emotionless, so what? Doesn't make me less aspec, and the fact that I'm aspec and autistic and therefore don't love doesn't make me inherently worse than other people? It doesn't make me a bad person?

I do get that headcanoning autistic characters as aro/ace and aro/ace characters as autistic can create a false perception that they’re inherent to each other, but literally everyone I’ve heard making this argument is either being really aphobic or really ableist about it.

They say that saying an autist is aspec means it proves the idea that autists are incapable of emotion, or that saying an aspec is autistic proves aspecs are just weird and mentally ill.

It’s really funny how aspecs and autists share a lot of the same problems. We don’t feel quite the same way as others, we express our love differently, people think we’re gross and unhuman. We’re not. We should be teaming up to face bigots together, not doing their job for them by turning on each other.

Also most aspecs i’ve met are autistic and most autists i’ve met identify as aro or ace so it’s not like the link doesn’t exist lol.

[amethystsoda]

your personal top (10?) manga? :))

Hello!!!

I am going to preface this with the fact that I only got into anime around 2014/2015 (Fullmetal Alchemist + Brotherhood) and then read the manga around 2016.

I only started avidly reading around 2019 with digital copies of JoJo and fell into loving manga from there and genuinely becoming a reader/keeping up with new releases and starting to learn Japanese (basic hiragana, etc) in 2021.

My other qualifications for these picks are that I am an irl artist (illustration and stained glass), taught an art history course for 1 year, and I read/write as much as possible outside of work.

I will also say that I may not have finished reading all these series yet, but they are the ones near and dear to my art-loving heart.

Also sorry it’s a few more than 10 *sweats*

Fullmetal Alchemist — Hiromu Arakawa

My very first manga.

Knowing that Arakawa taught herself art while still working on her parents’ farm and used her nights/time off to write it made me so in awe of her drive and skills. The ways the story deals with humanity, war, power, and love make it a timeless classic.

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure — Hirohiko Araki

It’s bonkers. It’s off the wall. It’s been going since the 80’s and Araki is still working. There’s so much to love. There’s so much to hate. But no matter how you feel about JJBA, it’s undeniably a masterpiece.

Araki’s dedication to the art is one of the biggest draws, with his fashion and art history references and use of bright colors. You can feel his love for the medium shine through his full color pieces!

My personal favorite parts are Phantom Blood, Diamond Is Unbreakable, Stone Ocean, and Jojolion (ikik all the “boring” parts, but I think that’s where the characters are most interesting)

Jujutsu Kaisen -- Gege Akutami

My next big read after JoJo. After watching season 1 of the anime, I knew I needed more. The way that Gege uses the classic shonen tropes combined with explorations of life and death is very strong storytelling.

We learn from the start about curses, cursed energy, we witness a major death in the protagonist’s life and he’s given a goal:

“You’re a strong kid, so help others. Even if it’s only those closest to you, just save the people you can. It’s okay if you lose your way, and don’t worry about whether they’ll thank you or not. Just save as many people as you can, even if it’s only one.”

The series often shows us what it means to save even one and the self sacrifice that comes from protecting others, even if it’s painful or difficult. Throw iconic characters into the mix and you have the basis for an already notable classic shonen manga.

Spy x Family — Tatsuya Endo

Found family slice of life with a big dose of action and fluff?? Literally the perfect comfort manga. I saw enough promos on tumblr that I finally caved and started it in 2020 and I LOVED it.

More people are familiar now bc of the anime’s popularity, but I definitely recommend reading it as well! The art is consistently high quality, the face expressions are hilarious, and the main concept of fighting for peace is re-stated throughout the storyline.

Loid took on this mission and his spy position to bring peace. He never wants to see the horrors of war again. He never wants to see another child cry. The family may be “fake” but the feelings are real.

Witch Hat Atelier — Kamome Shirahama

I cannot stop giving high praises for this series!!!! It’s like if you mixed Ghibli’s nature and art with Narnia or LOTR’s fantasy vibes. The magic system is based on drawing and it’s such a treat for artists to read.

Shirahama also uses a lot of traditional art references for her work, like rococo, art nouveau, classic illustration, etc. She’s won awards for the series and every one is deserved.

Also the two main witches, Qifrey and Olruggio, are definitely in love and take the best care of their witch students (cough daughters) in the atelier. Qifrey is like if you mixed Howl Pendragon with Gojo Satoru. Olruggio is the traditional tsundere with a heart of gold.

The series also talks a lot about disability and how we can improve others’ lives to make them more comfortable and accessible! It’s a very unique world and story that draws you in and makes you feel at home.

Chainsaw Man — Tatsuki Fujimoto

Yes, the series everyone is currently talking about. And I’m not going to call it peak or goat, but I think the concept is very strong and well-executed.

Fujimoto pulls you in from the intro (esp Pochita, how can you not love a cute little chainsaw dog!?), he makes you care about the characters, and slowly rips your heart out chapter by chapter. It’s won awards for good reason.

Not everyone is morally black and white. There’s giant battles and dynamic art. The main character just wants to touch some boobs. The other main guy is basically a househusband after work hours. Add in a pretty girl blood devil who doesn’t like vegetables. An Angel Devil who can kill someone through a touch and loves ice cream. A sopping wet kitten of a girl who works at her family’s burger place and hunts devils on the side. etc etc.

The characters are one of the strongest aspects of Chainsaw Man and their dynamics with each other. Hate, love, control, fear… The series talks about our basest desires and anxieties and explores them in a fictional playing field with all the flare you expect from a Shonen Jump title.

Toilet Bound Hanako Kun - AidaIro

THE ART STYLE THE ART STYLE THE ART STLYE. This series is done by a two person team (AidaIro - one for art, one for writing) and I appreciate that each brings their strength to this manga.

The coloring and art are so dreamy and whimsical, while still using strong jewel tone colors (instead of only pastels or earth colors as you might expect in a western fantasy series).

The work uses the “seven school wonders” as its base and Nene Yashiro as the protagonist who just wanted to get a date with her crush and called on Hanako’s help. Through her impulsivity, she ends up under a mermaid’s curse and makes a pact with Hakano to make it more bearable, getting pulled into the carryings-on of spirits around the school.

The art/story combo is engaging, dynamic, and emotional. There’s a lot of hilarious face expressions in this manga as well and little visual gags/jokes that make it fun to read. The series started in 2014 and is still ongoing!

The Way of the Househusband — Kosuke Oono

a former yakuza member marries a designer and becomes a stay at home househusband. Hijinks ensue. Add in his former gang friend Masa and their cat Gin and you have a recipe for domestic comedy.

I’ve genuinely laughed out loud so many times reading this manga. The chapters are pretty short and are good when you need a little break to not stare at a screen. It’s another good comfort manga when you need something low intensity.

Dorohedoro -- Q Hayashida

I have to admit I found this one because of the anime MAPPA did, but I immediately explored the manga and mud and sludge art book. Q Hayashida trained in fine arts before becoming a mangaka and it shows through the quality of her work.

From the heavily detailed manga panels, to the mixed media covers, and bonus comics done in color, the world is rendered in a blend of gritty realism and surreal fantasy.

Dorohedoro is one of the most unique pieces of worldbuilding I’ve encountered, with the smoke magic system, use of doors for traveling between Hole and the sorcerers world, as well as including devils in the lore.

Again, characters are a big draw of the series, but the art is just mind blowing to me as an artist, knowing the level of craft she put into them. I still flip through the artbook for inspiration when I’m feeling drained.

I haven’t finished all of the manga, but I’m slowly collecting the volumes (some are out of print). But I believe all the pdfs are up on archive.org (also please keep in mind there is an Adult Only/18+ content warning on this manga as there is gore and some nudity)

Blue Period — Tsubasa Yamaguchi

I started collecting this when they released volume 1 and just kept collecting. If you’re an artist at all or appreciate art, this is a series for you. It describes the struggles of finding your voice as an artist so deeply and you will feel understood and seen.

There are quite a few characters in the series, so I suggest looking at the wiki for this one to keep everyone straight. I also recommend watching the anime, as the colors and voices help distinguish the characters further.

The art history references in the chapter art makes this a scavenger hunt for art nerds and the messages of self searching, acceptance, and discovery are something anyone can relate to. (edit: I looked up the series more and it's another woman author!! :D )

The Case Study of Vanitas — Jun Mochizuki

Another I started collecting because of the anime, but it’s SO so beautiful (Arakawa sensei even gave a recommendation inside the front cover of volume 1!)

Also!!! Another woman author!! I’m so happy to give lots of women author recs. If you like gothic romantic vampire dramas set in alt history steampunk Paris with a dash of horror, then this is for you.

Bisexual vibes from literally all of the main 4 (Noe, Vanitas, Dominique, Jeanne). Some moments of sensuality, but it never goes into overtly sexual, making it more accessible for teen readers.

Her watercolors are instantly recognizable and stunningly gorgeous. Noe’s delight in the world is balanced by Vanitas’ grumpier realism. Also, the concept of a vampire that can read memories through blood blew my mind. Definitely recommend.

Special mentions:

Yotsuba&! (a classic first manga for kids. Heartwarming. Funny. Adorable)

Skull Face Bookseller Honda-san (also a good anime. Only 4 volumes. All the crazy things that happen in a bookstore/publishing. Funny and a great autobiography by the author Honda)

Kaiju No. 8 (an up and coming Shonen Jump that’s already slated for an anime!!!! Kaiju battle action + a 32 year old protag that had an accident while working and can now turn into a Kaiju >:D Monster lovers rejoice)

I also have a few singles of older shojo manga that I’m getting into recently like Cardcaptor Sakura, Sailor Moon, Kitchen Princess, Host Club!

[choicesficwriterscreations]

CFWC Writer of the Month: Utterlyinevitable / Catchinglikekerosene

Each month CFWC highlights one of our many talented fanfic writers and this month’s writer of the month is @utterlyinevitable​! (Also @catchinglikekerosene ) We hope you will enjoy learning more about her and her work below! Writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Blog: @utterlyinevitable (and @catchinglikekerosene)

Blog Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? dom

1- When did you start playing Choices? What's the first book you played? 

I was a casual player early on - like the summer after Rules of Engagement came out early. Then I rediscovered it in 2019, playing ROD and TRR before bed. True obsession didn’t kick in until 2020 when I became enlightened to Open Heart’s existence.  

2- When, and why, did you join Choices fandom?.

I joined the fandom early summer-ish 2020, when oph2 was on their first break. Also was the instigator of my return to tumblr and the joy of fanfics. Ethan Ramsey became my pandemic hyperfixation and I NEEDED to know what happened after the 2.9 kiss!

3- How did you pick your url name? 

I never liked fandom-specific names so I went for something that could ebb and flow with my obsessions. Something about ‘delaying the inevitable’ and Ethan and MC being utterly inevitable seemed to fit 😆

4- Go back to your archive and tell us about the first post on your Choices blog. 

Oh godddd okay… 

my first ever post on my sideblog is this reblog confession about wanting an oph prequel. I’d still kill for one! 

the first post by me on my sideblog is this one calling ethan out for removing his shirt instead of just the metal parts in the fmri scene lol 

and my actual first ever post in the choices fandom is part 1 of Do We Have A Future? (on my main blog, back when the series was just a one shot) 

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

Noooo don’t call me out like this 😂 !! I’ve been writing since twilight was in theatres…. 

I took a very long break from it when I went off to uni

6- What is your favorite Choices book to write about?

Open Heart. I love their characterizations and how relatable and flawed all of them are. Makes for some great fic material! 

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it or would you change anything about it?

Do We Have A Future? 

I love this series. Anyone who has read it will know that it’s very personal. 

The only thing I would change about it is the opportunity to make it longer. A life goal of mine is to make this series into 3 novellas. 

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

It’s a tie (sorry, I can’t choose just one!). My magnum opus FATL and my longest one-shot Make Believe. I love these two because they’re emotional and driven by non-verbal cues. They’re hopeful and just a little sad. Which apparently is my brand. 

↠ For All The LiesTwo years after OHSY and after Becca left, she’s back in town and runs into Ethan. She never imagined she’d see him again, let alone to hear those words.

↠ Make Believe Ⓜ️    Becca and Ethan are cuddling in the chalet, fantasizing about what their meeting would be like if they were normal people. Set in OHSY Chapter 14.

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be, but it could use a little more love?

I’m still surprised by the love that Hurricane got! At the time it was the closest thing I’ve ever written to crack fics - a ��protection’ prompt spiraling into something else. At one point this fic was the bane of my existence because I couldn’t get the plot just right. 

Because I’m a little vain and thrive on validation, I’ll choose a fic from each of my main pairings that could use a toot or two ;) 

An Evening in December (Bryce Lahela x F!OC) - this piece specifically is from a bigger original work project that any sort of feedback is most appreciated! 

Music & Secrets: Part 3 (Ethan Ramsey x F!MC) -  my sweet friends-to-lovers babes going on their first unofficial date! 

Again. (Ethan Ramsey x F!MC) - written with only an audience of 2 in mind, but part of the DWHAF saga and thus it belongs on a pedestal. 

10- What is your specialty as a fanfic writer?

Pain? Sadness? At one point I did win an open heart award for angst 😆 

I write realistic and flawed characters, usually not under fluffy circumstances.  

11- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

Angst. There are hundreds of ways any confrontation or situation could play out and I like to explore those choices and feelings. And they could have a happy ending too! 

12- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MC’s or in your writing?

lmao yes. All my MCs have parts of me. Becca is by far my projection character, Hannah gets all my flaws, and Odette I live vicariously through.  

13- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Descriptions! They suuuuck! 

Whenever I write a piece the first thing out of my head is the lines of dialogue. Since my fics aren’t dialogue-driven they serve as a map for all the describey bits. 

14- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

So many in my wip graveyard and fic requests I really need to finish. 

Because of what’s happening with Roe vs Wade I’ve really been keen to finish writing my mini series Unethical, which I started writing Summer 2020. 

15- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

This is such a loaded question! It depends on the work tbh and who the person is. My hubs is not allowed to read anything because he’d definitely be concerned, my bestie is. Though I’d only show her DWHAF or Make Believe. 

16- Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

So many! Fandom writers, there’s @alwaysmychoices who can have you crying in a single sentence and I admire the way she describes scenes, and the world she’s created for Ethan and Charlie. Then there’s @jamespotterthefirst who not only is an amazing writer and the queen of content, Bree has such thought-out characters, really inspires me to think past the piece I’m writing and develop my characters further. 

I’m sure there are authors that have inspired my writing and I’m blanking on them all right now. If I could ever write something with the acclaim, simplicity, and metaphorical complexity of The Great Gatsby, I’d die happy.  

17- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

Is it weird that I envision all my works as a piece of film whilst writing them? 

If DWHAF ever became a bigger project, that’s what I’d like adapted. 

If I could only have one scene put to screen I’d like it to be Crescendo. 

18- Do you write original stories?

I try. There are certain fanfic pairings I have that I use specifically to help me navigate original thoughts and storylines. 

19 -  What other hobbies do you have?

Hobby? What hobby? I’m an adult. 

lol 

aside from writing and doomscrolling, I read and cook and play with my puppy. 

20 - What’s your favorite emoji? 

😂 is my most used emoji. 

21: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

Thank you @choicesficwriterscreations for selecting me! I know I haven’t been the most active recently so it means the most that I’m still being considered. Also a HUGE shout out to @gryffindordaughterofathena and @liaromancewriter for all the work they’ve been doing to maintain @openheartfanfics in my absence. This fandom is amazing and unlike any other, I am so thankful for all the friends I’ve made the last two years <3

[sinclairesimblr]

I'm feeling the need to vent. I would put this under a cut but I'm writing from my phone and it wont let me, sorry and scroll down if you are not interest in late night personal ramblings.

I'm back from my vacation, it was great, I needed it so much, it's been two years since the last time I traveled, and I love the beach, the sea... It's so relaxing.

Anyway, I'm back and I've been thinking a lot about my life and what I want to do and where I need to focus my energy from now on. So, here goes a bit of my story 👀👀

I graduated from uni and received my degree in February of 2020, everyone knows what happenned the next month 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ I couldn't get a job because of the pandemic. On late April I found out I was pregnant, after having a misscarriage in 2019 it was a shock, because I didn't have a job so had no health insurance, I had to attend the public hospital which was full of covid patients, and on that instance we knew nothing about the virus and everything was so scary.

Being in this situation, after losing a pregnancy before and this one being a risk pregnancy I had to be in bed until I was 5-6 months pregnant, and having to be locked down without being able to see anyone from my family or friends was a huge and hard process.

By December when my baby was born my anxiety got the best of me and I couldn't sleep (I think because I couldn't relax fearing something was going to happen to my baby if I was deep asleep). Literally I was not able to sleep, my body wouldn't let me and the amount of stress and the lack of sleep made my brain collapse, I suffered with panic attacks and depression.

After a few months I was better, and "ready" to get on my feet and start looking for a job, but turns out I couldn't get out of my house. I would have anxiety attacks and needed to run back to my house everytime. I was always afraid something would happen to my baby if I was not with her and I couldn't leave her with anyone.

When she was 6 months I had a job interview and I was ready to take the offer, but a few days later we found out I had covid, so that reinforced the idea that if I went out something bad would happen. My daughter, who was only half a year, had severe symptoms for several days and I felt a lot of guilt.

After that, I never got my taste and smell back, as I've said before a lot of things taste awful for me and that has led me to feel depressed for not being able to enjoy food anymore. I was super tired from being a mother and a housewife 24/7 and was not finding the strenght or motivation to do something to change my situation.

It's been 2 years since I received my degree and I haven't been able to start working because I couldn't bring myself to the outside world again.

Playing Sims 4 has been my escape , all these months it kept me busy, motivated and gave me something to work with and feel somewhat useful. But I can't keep running away from my issues... Mostly because we are at a terrible place economically, we won't be able to survive anymore with only my husband's job

Being away these two weeks, travelling for 1200 km, being out, walking around the city, spending entire days at the beach (thanks to my dad who invited us and paid for everything), made me found myself, kind of, and I realized I am ready to go out to the world now, and so I have began searching for a job again. I won't lie, it scares me so much because it's been so long since I've interacted with people outside my family and closest friends... But I have to get my life back.

In any case, this means I won't have the time to play Sims anymore or post, not only because I'm still a mom, but also I have to start studying again since it's been so long I'm afraid I won't be prepared enough when I start working.

I'm sad to leave like this but, real life is calling me and I have to answer. Maybe once I start working and if I find a balance with everything I could come back, but only time will tell.

I also wanted to say Thank you all for being here when I needed the most. With every like or reblog, I felt like I had a purpose here and like I was doing something "productive" instead of feeling I was just wasting time on a game. So thank you so much for making me feel appreciated and not alone!! 🥰

[linklethehistorian]

Cherish Development Notes — Part 1: Origin

Since two people have already asked me to make this a thing, and 7 others  also liked the post, I’ll just go ahead and put this first one out there. Along with my usual tags, I’m going to be tagging these posts “#Just Cherish Things”, so feel free to block, follow, or do absolutely nothing about the tag as desired. lol

I guess the first thing I really want to talk about — which I was actually asked about yesterday — was what the general process of writing the chapters for this fic is like, as a whole, and actually that’s a really interesting question because…my process for Cherish — given it’s my only non-oneshot fic — is actually way different from any other fic I write.

But, before I can talk about that, I first need to talk about something else — namely, its very different origins from all of the rest.

(Although it’s not super long, the rest is nevertheless under the cut for some basic Fifteen/Storm Bringer spoilers. Also, I guess since I’m putting one of these here, I’ll mention I talk about the ships VerRim/Rimlaine and ChuuArt here briefly, too, because…obviously. lol but really, the tags and the fact this is about a fic revolving around them should tell you that anyway)

You see, unlike all the other fics I’ve created — which, from their very conceptions, were all stories intended to someday be shared with the world — the tale that you all know today as Cherish had much more humble beginnings; that is to say, it did not start out with the intention to ever be a written fic at all.

In fact, tracing it all the way back to its true roots of like, January 2020 iirc, it was really nothing more than this extremely wild, elaborate…well, I guess you would call it a headcanon, originally.

I believe I mentioned in a much earlier ask about BSD Paul that it was somewhere between August of 2019 and the release of Storm Bringer that I began to openly dabble in front of friends with the idea of a regretful, even redeemable, Verlaine; this, in a sense, was a much more secretive extension of the groundwork I had already set there and in years prior (that groundwork being a long-standing scenario in which Chuuya had found a way in a future time to revive BSD!Arthur Rimbaud and the two fell in love, thus leaving Verlaine alone to suffer and dwell on the mistakes that led to him losing his partner and would-have-been lover many times over).

The primary distinction between it and its foundation material, however, was that, unlike with the said other headcanons and ships that set the stage for it to even happen, I had kept everything regarding poet!Arthur and Paul, and the pairing comprised of them, entirely to myself — at least, for a very long time. Why? Well, the reasons were actually quite simple, really; first and foremost, I didn’t think anyone could ever give even half a shit about it even if I’d tried, and secondly, I greatly feared being judged over it, even by some of my closest friends. I knew very well that there were at least a fair number of people out there on the internet in general who had a huge problem with “real person fiction”, as it’s called, and although I knew that technically BSD itself was a form of that in a weird way and thus most of the fandom would probably be a lot more understanding (not to mention that the real person involved was a long-dead historical figure, anyway), I honestly just couldn’t justify it to myself to go through the risk of harassment and confrontation just to share something that, in my mind, no one but me would ever have any interest in to begin with.

At that time, I had made up my mind that it would never see the light of day even among my friends as a headcanon, much less ever become a written fic.

However, as the months went by, and it kept growing and growing into something deeper and more interesting, it became a lot harder for me to hold to that self-made rule, and eventually I ended up giving in and rambling to just one of my friends about it in private — that person being my friend and ever-kind supporter, Jailrose, whom I felt safe with (and whom, it seems, no longer has a blog on here).

In the end, it is only her I have to thank for Cherish’s existence in its current form, as it was purely her constant enthusiasm, support, and insistence that despite my uncertainties, she thought it would make for a great fic she would love to read, that helped me to finally gain the courage well over a year later to publish it on AO3 as the fully-fledged, multi-chapter story in progress that you all know it for being today.

[Read the fic!]

[swissmissficrecs]

Favorite Sherlock Holmes fics from 2020

Usually I put a bunch of explanations and disclaimers on these lists but you know what, it was a weird year and I’m not going to try to justify or apologize for what I read or didn’t read so here are my favorites that were completed last year, in descending order of length:

and your very flesh shall be a great poem by CaitlinFairchild (151K, E, Johnlock) After a tragic confrontation with terrible consequences, Sherlock and John follow Mary as she flees to America.

Drawn to Stars by Silvergirl (107K, E, Johnlock, Sherlock/OMC) After the Culverton Smith case Sherlock is clean, working, and looking for a romantic partner—since John has told him that’s what he needs. Shame John didn’t mention he was interested in that role himself, before Sherlock went off to Rome with a gorgeous Italian copper to try to fall in love and become a complete human being. (This one is very slightly cheating because it was finished on 30 Dec 2019, but it didn't make it onto my 2019 list because I didn't read it until after I'd made the list. And it deserves to be on a Best Of list, so here it is.)

Thermocline by J_Baillier (83K, M, Johnlock) John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

Do No Harm by Calais_Reno (79K, T, Johnlock) In 1923, Dr John Watson is on trial for the murder of his lover, Mary Morstan, a writer of popular mysteries. If convicted, he will hang. Sherlock Holmes sets out to prove his innocence, but finds himself more and more infatuated with the handsome doctor, and deeper and deeper inside the bohemian world of London's painters, playwrights, and poets. Will he uncover the evidence needed to acquit him in time?

To Be Human by ohlooktheresabee (78K, NR, Johnlock) There is a serial killer on the loose with a penchant for collecting the brains of his victims. Sherlock, John and Scotland Yard are on the case, but something about the chosen victims has Sherlock on edge. While they piece together the clues that will lead to the killer, John begins to realize that the way his best friend thinks may sometimes be more a hindrance than a help….

immediate and inglorious by simplyclockwork (72K, E, Johnlock) Bodies are showing up in back alleys, with no sign of a struggle, no trace of drugs. If not for the strangulation bruises on their necks and the scythe carved into their left shoulders, they could have died peacefully, in their sleep. With New Scotland Yard dumbfounded by the Grim Reaper Killer case, Sherlock is called in to consult. The more he investigates, the deeper Sherlock finds himself drawn into the work of London's newest serial killer. As his views of good and bad begin to blur, he risks losing himself to a darkness he never imagined. And, even more pressing: where does John Watson, grieving ex-boyfriend of the Grim Reaper's latest victim, fit into all of this?

Curtain Rising by tiger_in_the_flightdeck (61K, E, Johnlock) A disgraced television star is the target of a series of death threats just after a theatre production’s adaptation of The Sound of Music is announced with her as the lead. The suspect list is a mile long and growing, Rosie Watson is in the spotlight, and Sherlock might be getting too fond of his time on stage to focus on the case. With opening night approaching, can he and John figure out who wants their client dead before her final curtain rises?

The Fire Finds a Home by fearfully_beautifully_made (61K, E, Johnlock) After Sherlock and John decide to give having a relationship a go, this is how their relationship starts to develop. There a little bit of plot, if you squint, but it was mostly an excuse to write John and Sherlock having sex in a lot of different ways and learning to love each other.

Borrowed Ghosts by DiscordantWords (57K, M, Johnlock) In the aftermath of the Culverton Smith case, John spent one painfully stilted afternoon hanging out with Sherlock. He counted the minutes, finished his tea, and left for home without ever clearing the air between them. And once he'd left, he found it very hard to go back.

You Might Just as Well Be Blind by ArwaMachine (56K, E, Johnlock) When a serial killer starts targeting couples, Sherlock and John must do what they have to do in order to get to the bottom of things. Unfortunately, John already has a girlfriend. Surely pretending to be in a relationship with Sherlock won't pose any problems with his relationship, will it?

The Broken Tether by J_Baillier (54K, M, Johnlock) Maybe he thinks that you only enjoy his company because of the Work, because of the way his dazzling intellect shines when he's in his element, but the truth is this: it is when he is at his most human, most bare, that you feel closest to him.

how the light gets in by subtext-is-my-division (Quill_A)  (54K, E, Johnlock) Red wine always makes him tipsier than usual and he finds himself saying, the words slurring a bit. “You know, I’ve got to ask. Do you always shoot cabbies for people you barely you know?” John meets his gaze over the rim of his glass, and there’s something there that Sherlock can’t pin down. “Not for everyone,” he says, meaningfully, pointedly, his smile all teeth.

Erosion by saintscully (53K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock’s father falls ill, leaving the surviving family members broken and rudderless. James Sholto shows up in London unexpectedly, his intentions unclear. John has to navigate the consequences of crime, illness and death and their impact on his frayed relationship with Sherlock.

Hold You Like a Weapon by MissDavis (52K, E, Johnlock) Eurus shows up at 221B Baker Street in labour. Things go downhill from there.

Chances Are by Berty (51K, M, Johnlock) Sherlock is spending some time in his mind palace - so far, so normal. But why is John there, why do things keep changing and why are there only two exits from the sitting room at 221B, neither of which seem to go anywhere useful? It's a case like no other for Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.

Sine Nomine by SilentAuror (45K, E, Johnlock) As Mycroft reviews the footage from Culverton Smith's morgue, he revisits his original question: whether John Watson would be the making of his brother, or make him worse than ever. He's come to a conclusion, but decides to give John one last chance. So he gives him a choice.

Cockaigne by HollyShadow88 (38K, E, Johnlock) When John’s contacted by an old uni friend about problems in his new art exhibition, he doesn’t think it will be worth Sherlock’s time. After a glance of the crime scene, however, they’re both pulled into the project in ways John didn’t expect. Will a week of erotic performance art finally be enough to bring them together in the way they both secretly hope? (Spoiler: it’s a tropey fic, of course it will)

Written in Ashes by 88thParallel (37K, M, Johnlock) Sherlock becomes the prime suspect in a homicide case, and recently unearthed memories of his childhood are complicating matters. It's up to John to track down answers — can he help Sherlock before it's too late?

A Desperate Indulgence by LollipopCop (34K, M, Johnlock) John thinks it's 2012 after waking up with amnesia, having no memory of Mary. Sherlock, exhausted from years of tension and hiding his love, pretends they got married instead.

Inhale With Ease by Vulpesmellifera (25K, E, Johnlock) In the years after Vivian Norbury's capture, life seems to work out just as John planned. He's got that respectable job at the surgery and goes home to his wife and child. He joins Sherlock on cases a couple times per week. It's a rhythm he can live with - just enough adrenaline highs to balance out the drudgery of a normal bloke's life. Until a pandemic, and Victor Trevor, arrive in London.

The House on Rue des Boulangers by Berty (24K, M, Johnlock) After being invalided out of the army and without any other prospects, John Watson has relocated to a small town in northern France. Now he has to decide what to do for the rest of his life. One morning there's a mad stranger in his garden chasing a swarm of bees, and it seems John's decision is made.

High Mountain Tea Leaves by disfictional (23K, E, Johnlock) A mountaintop robbery on a Japanese-occupation-era train where the only item stolen was a small case of mysterious tea leaves in a backpack? An ideal Christmas gift, two days late. Sherlock convinces John to travel for tea.

Detours by saintscully (22K, M, Johnlock, Sherlock/OMC) During the better part of the first year following Mary's death and the events at Sherrinford, Sherlock and John are slowly rebuilding their lives and their friendship. All seems (relatively) well and John takes comfort in once again being a father, a doctor and a friend. An unexplained shift in Sherlock's behaviour catches John by surprise, and he begins to worry about his place in his friend's life. John has to examine everything he thought he knew about Sherlock, himself and their relationship in order to win his rightful place yet again.

hands full of matter by simplyclockwork (21K, E, Johnlock) When Sherlock is captured in Serbia, Mycroft cannot afford to involve the British government in his rescue. Instead, he sends John. After two years spent thinking Sherlock was dead, John finds himself navigating not only Sherlock’s rescue but their fractured friendship as well.

The Victim Experience by J_Baillier (16K, T, Gen) A case takes Sherlock and John deep into the seedy underbelly of the haunted attractions industry. With audiences craving more and more intense experiences, is a real murder the next logical step?

On the Fence by BeautifulFiction (13K, T, Johnlock) The murder of the King's College fencing champion leads to revelations about Sherlock's past. Will it be the point that tips them from friends to lovers, or will they remain on the fence?

Plus bonus ACD era:

"Baker Street: The Sleep of Reason": A Memoir by John H. Watson, M.D. by Gaedhal (98K, M, Johnlock, Johniarty) This is a Victorian Era story in the "Sherlock Holmes" (2009) Ritchie-verse. The main characters are Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson and is from the doctor's memoirs. It was written before "A Game of Shadows" so there are differences in this story and film canon, mainly in the person and backstory of one particular character.

The Taste of Truth by sanguinity (25K, T, Johnlock) Two and a half years after Reichenbach, John Watson discovers the magical tree that caused Holmes to fake his death.

The Adventure of the Vatican Cameos by Garonne (18K, E, Johnlock) How should one behave when waking for the first time in the bed of one's dearest friend? Holmes and Watson solve a case in Catholic London while navigating the turbid waters of their new relationship.

Hot Water by wordybirdy (13K, E, Johnlock, Watson/Gregson) Dr. John Watson's libidinous affair with a respected Scotland Yard inspector abruptly judders to a halt when the former meets a certain Mr. Sherlock Holmes, Consulting Detective, for the very first time. The attraction between the two is strongly mutual, but misunderstandings only multiply and tensions abound, as all three men attempt to deal with the new situation.

[sitp-recs]

(Perfect artwork for Modern Love, by @cambiodipolvere)

Today is the day of one of my favorite people! And I totally resent @tackytigerfic and Starry for almost sharing the same birthday, god the STRESS 😂 Tacky is my first and closest fandom friend. We clicked together so fast and easy that sometimes it feels like I’ve known her all my life, like we’re two dog moms living in the same neighborhood who happen to read fic in their free time. Despite our conflicting time zones and crazy schedules we manage to chat every other day, tagging and sending each other all kinds of stuff, coming together to cry scream about a brilliant fic we’ve just read or shaking our heads in embarrassment at every other unnecessary bullshit post. Tacky’s bright and wise energy uplifts my spirit even on my moody days, and makes me grateful for her friendship and for this fandom life. Okay so this got long and I had to put the rest under the cut:

It’s such a lovely and precious thing, to have someone with whom you can share every single thought that crosses your mind, your scariest, most embarrassing, petty or disturbing idea, without fear of being shamed or judged by it. I trust Tacky with all my heart to hear me out, share a joke or a piece of advice, even on the (rare) occasions when we don’t get the same perspective - that doesn’t happen often when it comes to Drarry, as we are taste twins!

Tacky my darling, you’re such a good person, and such an incredible friend. Thank you for introducing me to this lovely community, for being my safe haven and your unique self, with so many qualities I admire and feel inspired by: kind, witty, earnest, wise, and so very human. I love your humour and empathy, and your chill yet no-nonsense personality; I love your talent and how articulated you are; I love your passion for Drarry, and how you let this emotion inform the way you navigate the fandom and create for it. And god, but you’ve been creating some of the most beautiful content I’ve seen in these recent years! I’m permanently in awe of your ability to write Drarry in any shape, format or length, transforming even the most ordinary moment into an extraordinary and meaningful piece of character or relationship development. You know how you mentioned yesterday that some authors change the way you feel about a ship in a deep, definitive way? Well, you are that author for me. Your works made me fall in love with M-rated contemplative romance, and also allowed me to fall in love with Harry in a way I never thought it was possible before.

Some people - myself included - got to know you through the fun and intriguing A Lick and a Promise, others through the atmospheric and sensitive Modern Love, others through your contemplative and heartbreaking short form. Each story has its merits and purpose, and all of them share a Tacky trademark: the heartkick factor! Your talent has no limits and goes across different genres and tropes, that you explore with a bold twist full of personality and heart. And even more impressive is your consistency at always raising the bar - every new fic of yours becomes an instant fave and makes me think “wow I thought Tacky couldn’t get better yet here we are”. Seeing how your writing evolves as you find your narrative voice is a beautiful and humbling experience, I feel so lucky!

I’m really grateful for being active in the fandom at this moment in time, because that allows me to read and engage with your brilliant work, and to have you as a dear friend. I can’t wait to see what comes out of your beautiful brain next. It was an impossible job choosing a single fic to rec today, so I decided to do a belated Tacky reclist! Naturally these are my personal and biased must-reads, and I urge everyone to go check these beauties right now. Feel free to include your own favorites too, and don’t forget to leave them some appreciation.

Happy happy birthday my darling Tacky! This fandom life wouldn’t be the same without you. I hope you have the amazing day you deserve!

Between the Power Lines (2020, M, 3.2k)

The road trip fic you didn’t know you needed. I got utterly immersed in the heartbreaking quietness of this, feeling like a witness to an ordinary yet poignant love story. Such tender intimacy, such character development, such lovely American aesthetics with barely any dialogue. This is, IMO, the fic that reveals Tacky’s triumph in storytelling.

Even the Night (2020, M, 3.4k)

This fic has a surreal atmosphere, those Midsummer vibes unbelievably sexy and intoxicating linked to the sensorial experience of fumbling together in the night. Masterclass in tension building, a silky and languid dream-like affair.

Aim for my Heart (2021, M, 3.4k) - Harry/Draco/Ron

One of the most sensitive and stunning portraits I’ve ever seen of a poly/triad relationship, this fic packs so much character and longing! It’s a privilege to watch Ron and Draco’s tentative dynamics through the smitten eyes of the one person that loves them like no one else: Harry.

The Long Fall (2021, M, 3.6k)

I can’t even write about this tender domesticity without getting a lump in my throat. Best opening scene I’ve read in years, and a refreshing way to approach both mpreg and parenthood, painfully honest and lovely. This became an immediate comfort read for me, and it’s probably one of the fics I revisit the most.

Mortal Frame (2021, M, 6.6k)

This thrilling, fast-paced spy story left me breathless since the first paragraph, gods what an immersive ride! I’m so here for Drarry on the run, sharp and urgent with danger but mellowed by the silent trust and tender intimacy only Tacky can master. Major bonus points for the brilliant take on the Horcrux hunt plot line!

Last Offices (2020, M, 6.7k)

Oh, this fic 💔 I tend to avoid MCD but there’s something so deeply fascinating about body washing rituals that I caught myself mesmerized by this. I just couldn’t put it down, so emotionally compromised I felt. There’s a sort of strange comfort in the heartbreak of doing one last act of service out of devotion to someone. This fic inspired so many difficult but lovely feelings in me, and one of them was hope. Only Tacky could possibly achieve that!

Our Little Life (2020, M, 7.2k)

Inventive and singular, this story hit me straight on the solar plexus and left me speechless as I saw the (clever, magical and bittersweet) plot unravel. Such a fabulous take on alternate universes and all the angst potential behind it. Come and bask in the yearning melancholia of a short yet intricate and perfectly executed plot.

And One to Play (2019, E, 21k)

What a fun and delightful fic, I can’t have enough of pining Harry losing all sense of propriety when faced with a hot, competent and pragmatic Draco. This has fab dynamics, unhinged protectiveness, even more unhinged attraction between two idiots who can’t keep their hands off each other. A must-read for any Auror partners fan!

A Lick and a Promise (2019, E, 55k)

Hot, BAMF Professors carefully balancing a fuck buddies situation while solving a Hogwarts mystery, do we need anything else? I certainly do not. This fic is so fun and intriguing and immersive, with amazing supportive cast and a delicious get together feat secret shagging and oblivious pining. Love it!

Modern Love (2020, E, 61k)

My favorite read of 2020, this fic is a love letter to Drarry and will always hold a piece of my soul. Sensitive, wistful, tenderly aching and so very romantic, this is a Muggle Draco triumph with a superb Harry, exquisite slow burn and a side of suds comfort. I promise it will be impossible to listen to Bowie again without thinking of this love story.

Bonus: five stunning drabbles!

Something in the Way (2021, T, 119 words)

“Up,” he said, and Draco, sick with love, raised his arms above his head and allowed Potter to slide the jumper on him, big hands stroking it flat over Draco’s stomach until they both shivered.

Stir-Up Sunday (2020, M, 300 words)

“I want you always,” he said, tugging again on the fine curling length of it. “Is it okay to say that?”

Whalebone Arch (2021, M, 722 words)

“Are you still not talking to me?” Draco steered Harry towards the crisps. “Do I have to suck you off in the loo to cheer you up?”

Semiplume (2021, T, 923 words)

“Did you know,” Harry murmured, and he put his arms around Draco, fearless. “I’d be your mate. If you needed a mate, I mean.”

Relic Radiation (2021, M, 927 words)

“You’ll kill me,” Harry said, and Draco turned his face towards the darkened sky, lunar pale, his profile some stupid unearthly thing—a flaring blazar, a supernova—in the light from the kitchen window.

[scintillasofbeomgyu]

winter in itaewon || Choi Beomgyu

Pairing: Choi Beomgyu x gamer!fem!reader

Genre/s: Fluff; Angst; Humor (if you squint)

Word count: 5,0k

Warning/s: it is implied that reader was subject to violence (once); although it says the reader is a gamer, there are not that many references towards to actual gaming lmao; this was proofread like once (😭)

Hyunjin and Jeongin take Beomgyu out to the PC Room in Itaewon for his birthday; a year after their last visit. As he reminisces the events of the year before, every corner of his mind is revisited by her — as if he were capable of forgetting her anyway.

a/n: happy beomgyu day!!💞 the inspiration to write this hit me in the middle of the night, coming from these kickass headcannons by sumi, and it's completely different to the initial idea i shared with amie sksjsjs alsothislowkeysucks. nevertheless, i hope you all enjoy!!

12 March 2021, 23:30

Despite being embraced by his thick padded coat, the freezing air still managed to disrupt the warmth in annoying, sharp gusts every time the wind blew. Itaewon was always more alive while the rest of Seoul slept soundly, and tonight was no exception. The streets were aglow with the lambent signage of the many stalls and establishments which lined it’s pavements, and were filled with clusters of people who either visited the stores, window-shopped or were simply enjoying the night-life.

Beomgyu wasn’t very enthusiastic about joining Hyunjin and Jeongin when they had initially posed the idea. He’d been spending much of his time in the studio and practice room, so the plan was to get some sleep when he had some free time. His conscience eventually got the better of him, though – he hadn’t been able to meet up with his friends in months due to work and the pandemic, and his scheduled birthday live thwarted the possibility of holding it off until the following day.

“Are you good?” Jeongin asked, pulling Beomgyu out of his thoughts, arching a brow at his dazed friend. He noticed that he had been lagging behind the two of them, and that their features were now etched with concern. Beomgyu pushed the bangs out of his face before waving them off, mumbling that he’s okay.

There was a look in their eyes that Beomgyu couldn’t quite decipher, but pushed it off as nothing when Jeongin draped an arm over his shoulder and lead him further down the street. His feet stopped squarely when they made it to the PC Room, cementing themselves before the front door. Jeongin looked at Beomgyu and smiled.

“Are you coming in?”

It wasn’t that Beomgyu didn’t want to respond, he simply couldn’t. Sure, it may have seemed like a trivial thing to answer, the words just wouldn’t formulate coherent sentences – his mind didn’t have the capacity to make them. Her. That was the only thing it could manifest. Her. 

The pressure of a years-worth of his bottled emotions had finally blew it’s top – thoughts, images and memories which had been ingrained into his subconscious coming forth to hit him like a train.

“We’ll wait for you inside, then.”

31 December 2019, 22:00

Laughter ringing through the air, Hyunjin, Jeongin and Beomgyu pushed open the door to the PC Room. Beomgyu stopped at the door while the other two signed in, arms rubbing away the remnants of snow on the arms of his black coat. Removing his mask, he smiled into the warmth of the heated building. Their schedules after debut had left no space for any recreation, so it was liberating to spend New Years Eve with his friends, doing what he does best.

“Ready to have your butts kicked?” Beomgyu cackled, with his whole chest, as they took their seats next to one another in the isle, earning him much-deserved glares. As soon as he’s logged on and the headset is donned however, his usually playful demeanour is replaced by one of a much calmer nature – studying the map, observing enemy tactics and carefully directing his support as his fingers glide skilfully across the keyboard.

Hyunjin groaned after the umpteenth attempt to beat him, dropping the headset onto the desk as Jeongin whined into his hands. A smirk rolled onto Beomgyu’s lips as he leaned back into the swivel chair, flashing his brows at them. “I refuse to believe this is possible, it’s got to be rigged!”

“Ah, after all this time I’ve still got it,” Beomgyu retorted, chuffed with himself for doing as well as he knew he would. Hyunjin rolled his eyes. “I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if I ranked first with the amount of times I kicked ass on this server.”

Jeongin, who had taken it upon himself to do the fact-checking, smirked at the screen before calling the two of them over. “Actually–”

Beomgyu screamed in frustration, tossing the headset onto the desk before pushing against it, sending him flying across the floor in the chair. No matter how hard he tried, no matter the strategy he just couldn’t beat the player in first place. The commotion startled the other two, who had fallen asleep waiting for Beomgyu to finish up, the satisfaction of witnessing his losses long past.

“Just one more game, I swear!” he whined as they dragged him away from the PC screen.

Hyunjin seethed, “that’s what you said three hours ago! No, we’re leaving. Jeongin’s parents have been waiting up for us.”

Beomgyu huffed at the front counter. While the older took care of the bill, he found that the room was completely empty – almost. The light emanating from a desk directly across from where he stood, lit up the face of a young-looking girl. She seemed to be in high school (that’s what the uniform she wore indicated atleast) and the big, round, metal-framed glasses settled on the bridge of her nose, mirrored the computer screen. The sight pacified Beomgyu, for a reason he couldn’t quite explain, a smile stretching across his face.

He sauntered closer, eyes searching around for nothing in particular, trying not to look like a creep as he approached you. His smile only grew when he found her eyebrows knitted together, teeth biting down on her bottom lip in concentration. And then he saw it. The graphics reflecting from her glasses seeming all to familiar to him, he rushed around the desk, eyes darting to the top corner of the screen.

ID: winter996

12 January 2020, 22:30

Beomgyu’s foot tapped impatiently as he waited at the desk closest to the entrance, checking his watch every few minutes, before running a frustrated hand through his soft silvery locks. He had finally gotten the chance to visit the PC room again, most of his time having gone into practice and rehearsals for award show season, and he wasn’t leaving until he saw you again.

He ran out of the practice room as soon as he heard that they would have the following day off; he was exhausted and had been waiting for almost two hours – but he refused to leave until he saw you again.

The owner noticed the boy sitting at the desk he usually reserved for you, lips curling at the sight of the fidgety youth. He had visited on three prior occasions; once with his friends, and the remaining times himself, sitting in exactly the same spot he was now sitting. Instead of chasing him away as he did everyone else, he simply waited to see how this turn of events would unfold.

You pushed open the glass doors with a huff, adjusting the strap of your backpack on your shoulder before blowing the stray hairs from your face. Keeping your eyes fixed on the ground beneath you, you nod to the owner and he returns the gesture with a smile, although he knows you won’t see it.

Beomgyu, who had almost surrendered himself to the fatigue, sat up straight when you pulled back the chair next to him. He watched as you scrunched up your nose in attempt to push your glasses up the bridge of your nose before putting the headset on, and chuckled softly.

He watched in awe as you cleared level after level, climbing the ranks as you went along, with seemingly no effort whatsoever. You kept the mic off and communicated with your group though the chat, which was probably why he never realised you were a girl. Your strategy seemed way too complex for him to understand, and his amazement never faltered for even a second, as you dominated each and every position you played.

It was a little over an hour before you decided to take a break, wondering where the owner was since he usually brought your snacks around that time. Pushing the headset around your neck, you stretched upward to see where he was, only to find yourself roughly pushed back down and turned toward a strange boy whom you’ve never seen before.

His eyes, sparkling with absolute wonder, coaxed your surprise and made your heart race with a feeling as unfamiliar as he was.

“You have to tell me how you do that! Teach me, please, Winter996!”

25 January 2020, 22:30

“Aren’t you supposed to be at practice?” you voice rang from the speaker of Beomgyu’s phone. He never questioned your reasons for not turning your mic on during the game, but insisted that you speak directly to him instead. “On your left, be careful.”

“I know, I see them. And yes, but I have some time before the next session starts.” After much pestering, about something having to do with ‘senseis’ and ‘disciples’, you agreed to let Beomgyu play with you. He was rather beside himself when you told him you never really used any strategy, though; you ‘just did what felt right’.

An adorable smile had tugged at your lips during his three hundred-and-fifty paged slideshow about the importance of strategy and observation, one he would not soon forget.

“You could just wait until Itaewon.”

“Is it my fault you only go when your rank drops?”

Soobin’s dark head of hair popped into the studio, and he glared upon finding Beomgyu tapping away at his laptop on the sofa. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you! The break as been over ages ago–”

“(Y/n), (Y/n), go, go! I’ll cover you!”

“Beomgyu, I think–”

“You’re playing again?! With a girl?!”

5 February 2020, 22:00

You’re quieter than usual and Beomgyu noticed right away. Over the phone, you never had any qualms in conversating with him– when you were playing the game, atleast. The thought that it was because of him does cross his mind, but he catches the frown you’re desperately trying to hide, by biting the inside of your cheek.

A thick scarf is wrapped around your neck, your chin buried into the red woolly folds, and your hair frames your face,  but he sees the light swelling on the side of your face and around your eyes that you’re trying to hide. The feeling in the pit of his stomach makes his nails press crescents into the palms of his hands, but he fights the urge to ask.

“Beomgyu! What are you doing! They’re coming!” you yell, pulling him back to reality, hearing the sound of your voice at long last calming him a tad.

“Right, sorry.”

You played together straight through into the early hours of the morning, sharing victory after victory, with him right by your side. You froze up when he instinctively pulled you into a hug upon your last win, gulping as he slowly removed his arms, laughing it off as his adrenaline high peaked higher.

The van’s horn blared outside, catching you both off guard. Beomgyu quickly grabbed his coat before making his way back up the way he came, but paused before he opened the door. Craning his head back to look at you once more, he smiled.

“I’ll text you later.”

12 February 2020, 23:30

Beomgyu’s hands move quickly across the controls, your voice shouting orders to him through the headset as the current game hit it’s climax. Playing with Beomgyu all the time had made you a lot more comfortable with engaging with the other members of your group, so although you were still pretty anxious at first, you made the decision to turn on your mic.

“We did it!” Beomgyu cheered as your team cleared yet another level.

Gaming was something mundane to you and winning was easy; but sneaking out to the PC Room from time to time helped alleviate the pressures of your personal life. The life which you would rather die than share with Beomgyu. But after being swayed by his nonsensical attempts at convincing you, logging onto the server had become your favorite thing to do.

Every victory felt extraordinary when shared with him, and you could have sworn that at that very moment, you could see the way the ends of his eyes creased as the edges of his lips pushed up his cheeks. The way his arms would be stretched up in happiness, as his intoxicating laugher filled the air.

On the other end, Beomgyu leaned back into his desk chair, smiling into the darkness, envisioning the way you’d be pretending it was no big deal whilst your eyes sparkled with happiness and a smile dug into your rosey cheeks.

“Hey, (Y/n)?”

You hummed into the mic, your head rested on the desk and your eyes closed, just listening to his voice, savoring every second of it.

“Do you...have a Valentine or something?”

14 February 2020, 18:00

From the moment the car pulled up down the street, Beomgyu was unable to take his eyes off from you. His eyes travelled up from the scuffed white sneakers which tapped against the pavement nervously, to the washed out jeans, to the oversized cardigan, which bunched up around the wrists of your hands, which shifted between nervously tucking your hair behind your ears, to pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose, to straightening out your outfit.

You were going to be the death of him.

He hurried toward you as soon as he saw you shiver. The sound of his soles against the wet concrete caught your attention and you turned in his direction, the look in your eyes nearly resulting in a fatal blow – the way they bewitched nearly had him hitting his head against the sidewalk.

Your hands tightened around the strap of the bag slung around your shoulder as you watched the dark-haired boy make his way down the street to you, a stupidly giddy-looking expression plastered across his face. You couldn’t stop yourself from feeling the way you did about Beomgyu – even though you knew you shouldn’t.

You were never really interested in fan culture, but some of the girls in your cram school were very invested. When you heard them gushing about a group called ‘Tomorrow X Together’ and it’s members the previous afternoon, a knot formed in your stomach. The first thing you did when you got home, was do research. You decided to listen to all of their albums and watch all of their music videos, interviews and content videos. Unsure what to do with all the new-found information and conflicting emotions, you pulled the covers over your head and tried to sleep instead. But you couldn’t.

Beomgyu flicked the side of your head, bringing you back to the present, and your cheeks flushed upon realization of his proximity. He smirked, wrapping his brown scarf around your neck. “It’s still winter you know, Winter. You should dress warmly.”

You clicked your tongue and pouted at his teasing use of your in-game alias, and marched off without him. He trailed behind you, laughing and relieved that you were no longer frowning as you were before. You froze when he caught up with you, feeling the warmth of his hand as it slipped into yours, tucking it into his coat pocket. Burying your face into his scarf, which smelled just like him, you smiled giddily, letting him pull you along with him.

He took you to dinner and the amusement park after that. He was thrilled to know you liked rollercoasters as much as he did and embarrassed to know he couldn’t even beat you at the kid’s games. He ended up going home with a truckload of new plushies, and you, with ever-increasing feelings that you had no idea what to do with.

28 February 2020, 23:42

Beomgyu burst through the doors of the PC Room no longer than 10 minutes after receiving a call from the owner. He still wore his sleepwear, over which his coat was thrown, his hair was disheveled and his bare left foot was stuffed halfway into a sneaker, while his sock-wearing right foot was slipped into a black slipper.

The owner, with worry painted across his features, cocked his head to the desk where the two of you usually sat. His heart ached at the sight of your curled up figure beneath it. Your bloodshot eyes widened when you realized his presence, the surprise enabling him a few seconds to examine you up and down before you turned away from him. Your bottom lip was cut and bruised, your cheek was swollen and bruises were littered across your face and the length of your arms and neck, your hair as messy as his was.

You insisted that you’re okay, even though he took you into his arms without asking anything at all. You insisted that you’re okay, but as his warmth enveloped you, tears began streaming down your face. He felt the way your body trembled in his arms, so he begins rocking you back and forth slowly, pressing soft kisses into your hair, whispering a single phrase over and over again.

“I’m here.”

4 March 2020, 19:00

Due to the pandemic, one of the award show ceremonies the boys were supposed to attend had been cancelled and moved to a later date. Worried that they’d feel disheartened about their performance, you decided to host a little award ceremony of your own. His friends were as welcoming as he was, so you quickly got along- even more so since Beomgyu stuck even closer to you since that day.

“The first award of the evening,” you announced, clearing your throat in the middle of the living room. The boys, who were cheering your on from their seats on the dorm sofa, quieted down as Yeonjun hushed them, gesturing for you to continue, “goes to a very versatile young man. The winner of the ‘Fourth Generation It Boy – In Everything Except Braincells’ Daesang, goes too, you guessed it, Choi Yeonjun!”

The rest erupted in laughter as an exasperated Yeonjun made his way to where you stood, empty wrappers crackling under his feet. He threw a glare at the boys before he bowed before you in the most formal way possible, and you handed him the pretty mediocre, handmade certificate, before enamored laughter spilled from his lips.

Soobin received an award for being the ‘Best Leader of the Greatest Global Shookies’, to which he sighed. Taehyun received the Grand Award ‘The Best Son, Our King, Vocalist Kang’, which the rest labelled unfair and favoritism. Kai received the ‘Gotta Hit That High Note Like-’ award, which he proudly accepted with absolutely no complaints, beaming at the poorly made certificate.

“And last, but not least,” you started, peaking at Beomgyu from the corner of you eyes, determination almost faltering at the sight of his anticipating countenance. Peering down at the clipboard in your hands, you frowned, “well, I guess that’s all we have for tonight, folks-”

The sound of their hearty laughter filled the dorm once again, Yeonjun nearly toppling over the armrest of the sofa. Beomgyu nodded, tongue in cheek, clearly bothered by the whole ordeal. You joined in on the laughter, before glancing back to the clipboard, your heart rate picking up a little.

“Oh, what’s this?” you feigned surprise, “We have two more awards left! To Choi Beomgyu,” you said, pausing to steady your breath, refusing to make eye contact with him, “goes the award for ‘The Most Annoying Amateur Gamer-” laughter once more, Beomgyu joining in this time, “Best Friend and Utterly Talented All-rounder’. And lastly, to Tomorrow X Together for ‘Best Group of All Time’!” you cheered, relieved that they all got up and cheered as well, without teasing you.

Beomgyu took your hand and slipped the certificate from the board. You may have been embarrassed at the self-proclaimed ‘lousy’ attempt at decorating his certificate, but within seconds, that sheet of colored board became the most important thing to him in the world - his most prized possession. He pulled you into a bone-crushing hug, and the rest all joined in without a second to spare, endlessly praising you and expressing their affection as you giggled in response.

Later on that evening, after you left and the others were fast asleep, he laid on his bed, limbs splayed across the comforter. He sighed dreamily up at the ceiling, bringing his hands up to cover the bashful grin playing on his lips. He turned his head ever-so slightly, and peeked through the spaces between his fingers at the certificate perched on his night-stand and sighed again.

What was he going to do with you.

13 March 2020, 20:00

You pushed aside everything that had been happening in your life to be happy on your best friend’s birthday. You were convinced it was the least you could do in return for everything he did for you. Deciding to host something small at the PC Room, the owner was pretty enthusiastic to make a contribution to the happiness of his ‘favourite patrons’, you invited his members and some of his closest friends.

Although Beomgyu would have loved to spend the day with just you, he was extremely grateful to know efforts you had made to make him enjoy his day. You had been chattering away with the owner at the front desk, but somewhere amidst conversation with Taehyun, he had lost sight of you. He frowned, apologizing to Taehyun before excusing himself.

Ready to grab his coat and leave, he stopped in his tracks when the lights were shut off. Slowly, the room was illuminated once more, by the flickering flames atop birthday candles, and the enormous smile across your face as you sang, “happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you,...”

The cake, in the shape of a bear and embellished with chocolate decorations of every variety, was placed on the table in front of where the rest had seated him. Eyes not once leaving you, absolutely entranced by your beauty, Beomgyu gulps, his heart racing a million miles an hour.

“Make a wish, before the wax gets onto the cake, Dummy.”

He pulls his lip between his teeth and flicks the top of your head gently, chuckling softly, before clasping his hands together and closing his eyes. For a reason unknown to him, Beomgyu couldn’t think of something to wish for. No, rather, he knew exactly why he had no idea what to wish for. He opened his eyes once more, and grinned at your anticipating face, the pining in his chest only running deeper and deeper.

He blew out the candles.

“What did you wish for-”

Beomgyu grabbed your hand and pulled you with him as he ran out onto the wet Itaewon streets. You didn’t run too far, before he pulled you into one of the alleyways. Completely lost for words and a little out of breath, you stood there, staring at him. The same puzzled look you had given him when you first met is etched into your face and his lips curl upward. Your breathing hitches as he takes a step closer to you and he pushes the rain-soaked hair from your face, eyes flitting to your lips before meeting your eyes again.

He pulled your chest flush against his and it was quiet for a moment. Quiet, save for the sound of the rain pitter-pattering across the rooftops and the alley floor; quiet, save for the sound of your thumping hearts.

“I love you.”

He feels you tense up, so he tightens his embrace. There is a silence again, and it is a lot less pleasant than the first. The sound of your sniffling alarms him, so he brings your face to meet his, his heart aching at the tears dripping down your face. You start making attempts to break free of his hold, shaking your head and him, whimpers escaping your lips every time you tried to speak.

Tears now streamed down his face too, a piece of him torn away each time you pushed him away. Beomgyu fought desperately to keep you in his arms, but before he knew it, you had slipped right through his fingers.

“I’m sorry.” was the last thing he heard you say through persisting sobs, before you disappeared down the street, without a trace.

30 June 2020

Beomgyu smiled before the cameras and press, laughing along with interviewers and staff members like it was the easiest thing in the world. 

You had been missing for over three months. You blocked his number. You didn’t log onto the game, someone else had long taken your position on the leader board. After composing himself that day, he had bolted after you, but it was as if you had vanished off the face of the earth. Beomgyu stopped by the PC Room as much as he could in the following days, his condition only worsening each time he did, but due to the growing numbers of positive cases and the increasing amount of work scheduled for him, the time he spent there was limited.

When he did go, he sat in your chair, staring at the front door until he had to leave. The owner, who had been watching him in sympathy, called him up to the desk one day before he left – the last day the owner saw him. He looked sleep-deprived and downcast, the same pained expression drawn into his features every time he left.

“She... came here a lot. I think her first visit was around the time she was in middle school. She never spoke much, and never seemed to have any friends,” The owner told him, looking out to the isles of computers in front of him, before turning back to Beomgyu. “The first time I saw her talk- no, the first time I saw her smile, was with you. She liked you...alot.”

Beomgyu sighed, with a short, hollow chuckle.

“I know.”

12 March 2021, 23:55

The room was empty and dark when Beomgyu finally walked in, eyebrows knitted together as he tried to see through the darkness. He tried calling out for Hyunjin and Jeongin, but the only replies he received was the wind rattling the window-blinds.  

The flickering of candles illuminate the room, just like they did many months ago, and Beomgyu’s heart stopped. He tried to not look disappointed when it turned out to be his members with Hyunjin and Jeongin carrying the cake, singing happy birthday to him with the most excited expressions on their faces, but his throbbing chest betrayed him.

They brought the cake up until where he stood and Yeonjun arched a brow, a knowing smirk rolling onto his lips. “You really do have a wild imagination, don’t you? Ow!” he cried, when Beomgyu hit his arm. “Ugh, just make a wish already.”

Beomgyu clasped his hands tightly before him and squeezed his eyes shut, just as he did before. Only this time, he knew exactly what he wanted. The subject of his pining, worry, and love. Her. He would give anything to see her, just one last time.

And when he opened his eyes, that was exactly what he found in front of him.

“Happy Birthday, Choi Beomgyu.”

The lights went back on, and Beomgyu blinked repeatedly, making sure that it wasn’t just his mind playing tricks on him. But there you were, with tears brimming your eyes, in all your glory, the love of his life. 

He takes in all the little changes, like your trimmed hair, and that fact that you seemed to have lost weight – which made him frown. And then there was that smile, that dazzling smile, which only seemed to shine brighter now than it did before.

Your hands tremor a bit, the way he just stares at you making your heart leap. “I-I’m sor-”

The cake hit the floor with a plop, eliciting laughter from the others as he wraps his arms around your figure and he reels you into his arms in one swift movement. You feel his tears soak into your blouse, and you hold onto him tighter, your eyes already wet from your own tears. You were finally with him – you were finally home.

The owner gathered everyone together for a photo towards the end of the celebration, Beomgyu following suit wherever you went, refusing to let go of your hand for even a second. You offered him a loving smile when Hyunjin teased him for it, and placed a soft kiss to the back of his hand.

Beomgyu lead you up to the rooftop to see the sunrise, momentarily letting go of your hand to flush your back against his chest, before grabbing hold of it, and the other hand, again. The bright orange and yellow rays peeked from behind the mountain in the distance, and you had never felt more at peace.

You recalled the way your chest tightened and the way tears burned at the corners of your eyes upon receiving his confession a year ago. You had been so happy. So, so happy. But you knew you could not accept him. At the time, you knew that you were in no place to be with someone like him. He was, and is, too wonderful for someone as messed up as you are. You didn’t want burden him with your issues, not when his career had just taken off.

“Beomgyu?” he hummed from where his head against yours, “I love you.”

You stepped away from his embrace, giggling when you noticed the way he pouted. Your turned to face him properly, before attaching your arms around his waist. “Back then... I was in a really bad space. It’s not excuse, and I certainly shouldn’t have run away from you. I...have gotten help ever since, and I want to tell you my story. Would you like to hear it?”

He leaned back and thought for a moment. He then cupped the side of your face with his hand and ran his thumb across your cheek, before pulling you in to press a gentle, lingering kiss to your forehead.

“Whatever you’re willing to share, I will listen to and accept with open arms. I love you for who you are; and that includes everything that has shaped, and will shape you into the amazing person I already know you are.”

“That includes the way you absolutely kick my ass at gaming.”

[nightswithkookmin]

RE HOW BIGHIT MARKETS BTS

Thanks for the question dear.

Marketing is for a lot of things but in BTS's case, I'd say the primary goal of marketing them is to expose the entire group and or the individual members to an audience, a particular audience at a time, to brand them in a way that makes them appealing to that target market- to put it simply.

During one of the recent run episodes, when Jimin performed his dance from Serendipity- which I must say, God he is breathtakingly beautiful when he dances. Serendipity and the choreo is my weakness. If I see anything better than that- hold on, there's filter too. Ayayaya.

Stream Serendipity and Filter🔪

Oh and did y'all see JM's bit in Film out? Omg! I'm afraid I'd have to fly to South K to kiss his talented ass morning, afternoon, evening.

Who's coming?

Anywho, when Jimin performed Serendipity on Run and suggested that was the dance the staff was performing, the members- cough RM, quickly pointed out how he was plugging, self promoting (to Run's target audience)

Run has a different demographic.

When Suga talked about them not being funny on their Let's BTS show on KBS the Host pointed out how they were actually funny in their Run episodes.

A lot of Army(who are already fans of BTS or each individual member) watch Run but not all who watch Run are Army or even listen to BTS songs. So any performance of an individual's music or choreo would attract such a 'unique' viewer who might go on to become that member's stan or bias etc.

Similarly, when a member embarks on a solo project they are exposed to a new or unique audience. That's where most of the solo stans come from.

For V, his fanbase are not just made up of people who enjoy him as a musician but as an actor as well.

He has a strong fanbase in SK outside of 'Army' because of his exposure to the Korean market beyond BTS and this comprises of his musical collaborations with Korean Artists and film companies such as his OST Sweet Night on the series Itaewon class.

It's the same with Suga and IU, his Agust D mixtapes which draws in audiences that are not necessarily into boybands, RM's Mono whixh attracts strong hiphop fans, Jimin's dance collaborations with Taemin for example and his contemporary dance performance which attracts people in the world of contemporary dance and ballet- point in case the black swan performance at the end of the year, Jin and Hobi's MCing etc.

All these projects exposes them to unique audiences and markets outside of Army or BTS's own fanbase.

And I think the best way to understand how this is important or how this affects BigHit's marketing approach is to look at their recent YouQuiz interviews.

Jimin, Jhope and JK were paired to attract aspiring dancers or persons who want to be dancers and learn from these three dance leaders of BTS- or at least they were paired to appeal to them in my opinion.

Tae and RM were equally paired to appeal to creatives and creative minds and persons who are more into composing and writing lyrics and are full of passion and musical geniuses.

Jin and Suga were paired to appeal to mature audiences.

Ten out of ten when any pair is paired in BTS it is for marketing reasons to appeal to certain fanbase or audiences and are often strategic moves unless of course it's to balance things out to not create the impression they are promoting subunits within the group in furtherance of the BTS kumbaya agenda- Team over units or solos.

So Jikook are not gonna be allowed to sit together all the time even if they want to, neither would JinKook, or Sope.

They shake and reshuffle sometimes.

And like Tae said in his 2018 VLive, the company decides who they collaborate in or what market to promote them in.

Tae was allowed to collaborate with Adora on his Chrismas song but not Jimin- which to me is very homophobic but it goes to show the company has a say in who they work with and most importantly which market they work in.

For JK, he's been working his way within the American marke and building a strong fanbase internationally from his English covers of Justin Bieber, Troye Sivan, to his collaboration with Charlie Puth, and most recently Jason Derulo in Savage love- that's a lot of English speaking fanbase he's attracting and appealing to outside of Army.

Tae's English mixtape would achieve a similar feat and draw in a lot of English speaking fans.

Bts did the same with dynamite and coldplay's Fix you.

So by allowing JK to work with renowned Japanese Artists and film companies, collaborating and composing original sound tracks for them such as his Your eyes tell OST, Film out, etc. he is appealing to and drawing in a Japanese audience.

As Hobi explained in his 2019 January Vlive, their mixtapes, solo projects, collaborations with Artists outside of BTS are all ways for them to expand their fanbase individually and build their portfolio.

And these new fans are mostly going to be solo stans who stan him for his music composing abilities but of course some may fall in love with BTS as well and go on to become Army so it's a win win situation.

WOULDN'T THE OTHERS OBJECT

Yes and no.

As long as the company isn't pushing him as a soloist outside of BTS and creating a separate brand with him outside of BTS's own brand I don't think the boys would object to it.

That was the problem they had/have with Jikook. In my opinion.

The company branding Jikook, distinctifying them from the group as a 'couple' subunit, selling their chemistry to fans and advertisers really doesn't and didn't sit well with the group. AT ALL.

In my opinion of course.

You can't create a brand within a brand.

It goes against Bang PD's own objective of prioritizing the team over all else which is what sold the members in the first place.

I just think in JK's case, since 2020, they are just trying to help him find himself and his bearing and his purpose.

He's been trying to find himself since 2020 and he'd talked about losing his passion and had had his passion hijacked and commercialized by the company.

He used to say he didn't know what he was going to do with himself and his life and career after BTS- having him work on music videos, directing, composing, reading these are all ways that they are doing right by him if you ask me.

They are helping him not trying to push their own agendas- which is not to say they might not change their minds about it in the future.

JK is an artist being managed by the company and they owe a duty to him to make the right business decisions for him with his consent- can't stress on the consent bit enough.

Personally, I'm happy about Japan because they are and are shaping out to be queer friendly and have a bit of progressive laws and conducive environments for queer artists to flourish in- if coming out would ruin their careers that's one less worry.

Which by the way I hate anyone who peddles this 'coming out will ruin their careers' nonsense because I can tell you one hundred percent that that is rooted in homophobia and it's not OK.

Don't tell that to no queer people shut up. You are not helping.

I know some say that out of genuine concerns for the boys but PLEASE DON'T. Don't use fear to keep queer people hidden and out of sight. Don't promote closet safety. Rhetorics like that only perpetuate queer invisibility and homophobia- do I need to spell it out to your liberal homophobic ass?!

Coming out is entirely up to them regardless of the risk you think is involved. If they want to take it. They'll take it. It's their choice to make regardless of whatever consequence.

That there are or should be consequences is a problem in of itself.

I don't want to hear 'if JK comes out he's been stupid and reckless and putting Jimin's career at risk'

'If he loves Jimin he wouldn't come out'

Go ahead kiss it😌

If he wants to stay closested respect it. If he wants to come out RESPECT IT TOO.

Support him either ways goddammit!

Y'all gone get me bothered like that huh.

JK POTENTIALLY WITHOUT JIMIN

They both have different career objectives.

I know Jimin says JK is imitating him but chilee JK is his own person. Lol.

Jimin plays too much.

He has his own aspirations.

In 2014 Jimin posted this Christmas song he did with JK. In 2020 he posted his own Christmas song without Jk.

It's not hard to see where his interests in music lie as a musician.

JK covered We don't talk anymore by himself and later did a collaboration with Jimin on the same song. He's done Fools with RM- see where I'm going with this?

Suga said he was more likely to write pop songs for JK but write dance songs for Jimin.

Jk said in the Be interviews bang PD advised him to consider dance performances when writing songs as he himself is a dancer too and need to incorporate in his compositions.

They are two distinct artists and at some point it would become necessary to brand, promote and encourage their uniqueness in their professional lives. They don't got to be tethered to each other all the time.

Personally, I don't think BigHit would want to push official subunits within BTS- yet and it's inclination towards Jikook have always been because of their marketing appeal rather than to further a career objective for both of them.

This goes back to the pairing objectives I talked about earlier. If they are going to pair Jikook professionally as an official subunit within the group it wouldn't be because they are a couple and ought to be together all the time but because it is smart for them to do so business wise.

If their pairing isn't commercially profitable they won't be paired at all- unless of course Jikook themselves want and request to be paired in that way. Know what I mean?

They each signed separate contracts with the company from day dot. They didn't sign on as a unit.

Whether or not they've decided they are a package deal I cannot say- yet, as their new contract just came into effect.

We would have to observe how they are being handled by the company going forward.

HE'D NEVER DO IT WOULD HE

Come now sis...

It's not like he's leaving Jimin😅

Jimin and Jhope were equally sent to Japan for promotion purposes without JK.

Out of all seven, Namjoon is the most promoted member in the international Market not just because he speaks English but because he is often made the spokes person for the group in interviews, at awards straight up to the UN.

Look how happy they all were and how chatty they were at the KBS Let's BTS interview.

I mean they all talked about it. About how they can't say much on foreign forums and often step into Namjoon's shadows.

RM is the most recognized and dare I say the most liked member out of all seven in the international market outside Army and their music profession.

In Japan they all have a chance to be front and center at interviews etc.

It just so happens that JK as it stands is the one member pushing to build a portfolio within that market.

Let's pray he gets mainstream and build a strong presence within the music industry there because we all know he's gonna drag Jimin up there with him😏

Just pay attention to the songs he's written and the parts Jimin sings in them- he makes Jimin shine on those songs.

They have so much potential my God.

Let's support them individually and as a unit.

I purple you and sorry I had to respond here.

Stay gold. Let's keep supporting and rooting for our guys.

Signed,

GOLDY

[leminione9795]

I PERSONALLY have never yet seen a ship k-shippers like outside of tk and km but even between those two, the difference seems to be quite big. It's like k-armys only knows km but maybe that's just me. Would it be rude to ask may i know what are some other bts ships that are well loved among k-armys following km? Thank you!

Hi! 

I talked a little about other BTS ships that are popular with Korean armys here, but since you asked I took the opportunity to do a little ✨research ✨ to see if my perception of ship popularity actually matched reality.

So there are these events called 온리전/onli-jeon/, which is a compound of the English word 'only' and the Korean suffix 'jeon' that means 'exhibition'. It's a type of fan convention for one specific theme - hence the word 'only'. In the Kpop fandom it's an event where shippers of a certain pairing set up booths to sell fanfic and other self-made merchandise. Whether there is an Only event for a certain ship or not and how many people apply for booths show how big of a fandom that ship has.

My method of research was to look up the Twitter accounts of the most recent/closest Only events for each major BTS ship, and compare the number of followers. This isn't exactly scientific because for some ships the latest Only event was 2-3 years ago, and since then people may have unfollowed the account. Also some accounts (e.g. Jinmin Only) were suspended after the event so I couldn't get the data for those ships. But it was the best I could do, and here are the results:

#1. Jikook (July 2021 | 5.9K)

#2. Yoonmin (July 2018 | 3.4K)

#3. Vmin (February 2020 | 3.2K)

#4. Taekook (January 2022 | 1.9K)

#5. Sope (August 2020 | 1.6K)

(*The event was cancelled due to the organizers' personal circumstances; hence the blank header and profile pic.)

#6. Taejin (February 2020 | 1.3K)

#7. Namseok (February 2020 | 1.2K)

#8. Yoonkook (May 2019 | 0.7K)

#9. Namjin (August 2020 | 0.6K)

(*The event was cancelled due to the pandemic; hence the blank header and profile pic.)

#10. Namgi (February 2019 | 0.4K)

So there you go! Top ten most popular BTS ships in Korea, ranked by the number of followers the Twitter account for each ship's RPS fan event has. I admit the research method is flawed, but I do think it's mostly in line with my perceived size of the ships.

Although, I was pretty shocked to find out Namjin wasn't nearly as popular as I thought it was - it just goes to show that how you curate your feed can distort your view on reality. 😂