#you start talking to people in real life and its like hey everyone has a voice and opinions outside of the media they consume

[panlight]

Tbh I've always thought that what really fucked Bella up in New Moon was the fact that Edward took all of her photos of him and left her without any evidence that he really even existed. And the Cullen leaving just felt like part of that. If they'd stayed but he still took her stuff, she probably would've done better, but if they left and she had her stuff, she also probably would've done better.

Like, in Twilight, Bella did almost die. She brushes it off but I wish New Moon had delved more into how traumatic that would've been, like instead of having nightmares about aging, she could've been having nightmares about James, and how fragile she is as a human. And everyone except for the Cullen think that she just fell down a flight of stairs, scary but not traumatizing. So when the cullens left, everyone that knew the truth was gone, and anyone she could be honest with was gone. Which isn't on them but it seems a little irresponsible, like it's against the law to tell humans the truth so we are going to leave the one human we told alone and never check in on her and make sure she isn't a) losing her mind or b) telling other people. If they owe her anything, they don't owe it to her as Edward's ex-girlfriend, they owe it her as someone that Edward and Alice brought into their world and endangered.

Aside from that, though, the fact that Edward took any trace of him meant that not only could she not be honest with anyone around her, she can't grieve the relationship properly and also she has no *tangible* evidence that he wasn't human. At least in photos you could see the paleness and the eyes. All she has is the scar James' left, which is probably wrapped in its own traumatic memories. If you had to lie to everyone around you for 6ish months, then the only people you could tell the truth to disappear and the only "evidence" you have of the truth also disappears, and you *still* have to lie to everyone around you, wouldn't you lose it a little bit? Wouldn't you start to wonder if you hallucinated the whole thing?

Like, when she sees Laurent, she's actually excited at first. Here is evidence that I did almost die in Phoenix! Here is someone I can be honest with! Here is proof that I'm not crazy! Seeing Laurent isn't painful for her the way that thinking about Edward is, she doesn't try to avoid him or have a panic attack at first.

To me, Bella's depression in new moon wasn't just about the break-up. It was also about how knowing about vampires isolated her from her human friends and family, and when the vampires left, she was alone. There were too many secrets between her and other humans for them to have normal relationships with them. Even if the cullens stayed and she avoided them, at least she knows it was real.

She's also in more danger from other vampires for the rest of her life because she knows, because anyone could come across her and say "shoot, she puts us in danger of exposure, gotta kill her I guess."

Still, I feel like people pay too much attention to the question "hey, is it messed up or not that the cullens left?" and not "hey, is it messed up or not that Edward basically stole Bella's things when he left?"

Yeah this makes sense to me. How being cut off from the vampire world and not having any proof it was even real would mess with someone. Not being able to talk honestly about what you've been through with someone. Edward is trying for a 'clean break' but in doing so removes the proof that he and the whole family was real.

What I never got about the 'abandoned' argument was like "how could Esme and Carlisle abandon their daughter!" because I just did not read their relationship like that. That birthday party in New Moon did not read to me as a family celebrating one of their own; it read as a family trying to be welcoming to a family member's newish partner. They like her. They care about her. But they don't know her that well yet and she doesn't know them that well yet. That conversation she had with Carlisle over stitches is not a conversation you have with your dad or even with your father-in-law; it's a conversation you have with someone you're still getting to know. She's asking him like, really basic stuff about the whole vegetarian thing. At this point in the story she doesn't even know Rosalie and Jasper's backstories yet. She doesn't seem to ever learn Esme's full story. Canonically, Emmett and Rosalie had been in Africa; Bella says at the birthday part it's been months since she's seen them. She and Edward have only been dating for six months, which is a long time for a high school kid, but it's literally nothing for immortal vampires.

The sense I got from New Moon was that the Cullens were still trying to figure out how this was going to end with Edward and Bella. And we learn from Midnight Sun he was planning to leave all along. I feel like Bella thought this was permanent and the "future, the family" she had chosen, but I don't think the Cullens were looking at it the same way. No one was using the word 'mate' in canon; Edward and Bella were not engaged, there was no plan to make her a vampire. Everything was still in limbo. I think Bella loved the idea of being part of this big family but I don't think she really knew them as individuals yet except Edward and Alice (even Emmett, again canonically, was not around that summer to bond with).

Obviously everyone has different headcanons, but there's roughly where mine is. I'm sure they were sorry to leave and that, other than Rosalie, they liked her, but I think they already had a sense that this arrangement between Edward and Bella might not, could not, last. I don't feel like they thought they were leaving behind a family member, just a could-have-been family member. She's like Bree Tanner in Eclipse; they would have happily taken her in. But they hadn't yet and they can't like, force Edward to keep dating her.

But yeah I think the disorientation of having no evidence (except the stereo; she clawed that out of the dashboard herself, didn't she?) and having no one to talk about it with is the real issue; THAT would take a toll on anyone's mental health even without the break up. I just didn't feel like she actually cared that much about the Cullens beyond that; hence the Scenario 2 the other day where Edward stayed but everyone else left. I think she'd feel guilty that she separated Edward from his family but that would be it. If she had Edward, she wouldn't be super bothered to not have the others around.

[lesbuoyant]

everybodys all lets condemn people with Morally Impure Interests until all of a sudden you have an interest that is suddenly considered Impure and wanes in and out of Public Opinion for many years because nobody actually knows how to think for themselves online. personally i think we'd all be very lonely if we chose and broke friendships based on.... What Video Games They Like and like absolutely nothing else regarding the person's character

[krembearry]

was thinking about it and knowing I used to be in a huge server with tons of strangers and we had a public trigger list was WILD. 80+ people makes that so hard to remember anything! but I don't remember anyone ever even getting triggered or having that info used against them, if anything it was incredibly respectful (and the list was user maintained tbh, I just mean the moderation mostly)

crazy thing to have just gone so well for, as far as I'm aware, YEARS. I don't think I'd be so willing to share in other large servers like that, but trusting smaller servers with that information is really comfy :3 knows and trusts my friends will keep me safe <3

[reasonsforhope]

hey, how do you cope with people saying we only have a small amount of time left to stop the worst effects of climate change? no matter how hopeful and ok i am, that always sends me back into a spiral :(

A few different ways

1. The biggest one is that I do math. Because renewable energy is growing exponentially

Up until basically 2021 to now, all of the climate change models were based on the idea that our ability to handle climate change will grow linearly. But that's wrong: it's growing exponentially, most of all in the green energy sector. And we're finally starting to see proof of this - and that it's going to keep going.

And many types of climate change mitigation serve as multipliers for other types. Like building a big combo in a video game.

Change has been rapidly accelerating and I genuinely believe that it's going to happen much faster than anyone is currently predicting

2. A lot of the most exciting and groundbreaking things happening around climate change are happening in developing nations, so they're not on most people's radars.

But they will expand, as developing nations are widely undergoing a massive boom in infrastructure, development, and quality of life - and as they collaborate and communicate with each other in doing so

3. Every country, state, city, province, town, nonprofit, community, and movement is basically its own test case

We're going to figure out the best ways to handle things in a remarkably quick amount of time, because everyone is trying out solutions at once. Instead of doing 100 different studies on solutions in order, we get try out 100 (more like 10,000) different versions of different solutions simultaneously, and then figure out which ones worked best and why. The spread of solutions becomes infinitely faster, especially as more and more of the world gets access to the internet and other key infrastructure

4. There's a very real chance that many of the impacts of climate change will be reversible

Yeah, you read that right.

Will it take a while? Yes. But we're mostly talking a few decades to a few centuries, which is NOTHING in geological history terms.

We have more proof than ever of just how resilient nature is. Major rivers are being restored from dried up or dead to thriving ecosystems in under a decade. Life bounces back so fast when we let it.

I know there's a lot of skepticism about carbon capture and carbon removal. That's reasonable, some of those projects are definitely bs (mostly the ones run by gas companies, involving carbon credits, and/or trying to pump CO2 thousands of feet underground)

But there's very real potential for carbon removal through restoring ecosystems and regenerative agriculture

The research into carbon removal has also just exploded in the past three years, so there are almost certainly more and better technologies to come

There's also some promising developments in industrial carbon removal, especially this process of harvesting atmospheric CO2 and other air pollution to make baking soda and other industrially useful chemicals

As we take carbon out of the air in larger amounts, less heat will be trapped in the atmosphere

If less heat is trapped in the atmosphere, then the planet will start to cool down

If the planet starts to cool down, a lot of things will stabilize again. And they'll probably start to stabilize pretty quickly

[avocado-writing]

Hi dear! I would like to appreciate your works. I really enjoy everything you wrote, Wish you have a great day! 💗

Since you're taking requests, could you please write Wade with a polite, sweet and delicate partners. He's with a person who's the definition of "Too pure for this world and MUST be PROTECTED at all cost" His partner showers him with love and validation, and always love to listen to him! Thanks! 💓

possibly based on real life events.

Wade Wilson is so in love, it must be sickening to everyone around him. 

In fact he knows it is and he does not care. He’ll say “look at this meme the love of my life sent me!” and the person who he shows will roll their eyes, as if you don’t have incredible taste in cat pictures. He’ll monologue constantly about how cute you are and how much he loves that scrunchy thing you do with your nose. He’s recited committed-to-memory facts about you so many times that his friends can parrot them too. 

“Yes, I know what their favourite film is, I know you took them to a special viewing of it for their birthday. It’s cute, Wade,” says Laura, patting him on the arm condescendingly. Well, it’s not his fault you’re so wonderful! There isn’t a single thing about you that’s not perfect. He’s constantly bowled over about just how much affection he can fit in his body for you. The other night he was going on about something stupid - he can’t even remember what now, maybe it was about the new Taco Bell menu? - and then realised you hadn’t interrupted him once to shut him up like most people would.

You’d looked over the top of your magazine at him when he’d pointed this out, brow cocked.

“Why would I want you to shut up? I like listening to you talk, Wade.”

Marry you. He’s going to marry you. Every day, then divorce you every day too so he can marry you again. 

You are probably too good for him. Most of his social circle thinks so. You’re patient and kind, when you’re not at your job - where you work at a charity adopting out senior animals, as if you could be any more of a fucking angel - you like to spend your time in his shitty little kitchen, baking desserts for him to get home to. He’ll find you getting Al to taste test for you and his apartment full of laughter and joy. 

Man, he’s definitely put on like, six pounds since the two of you started dating. He needs to be stronger in the face of your cupcakes. 

They are really fucking good though. 

He walks in that night with a plushie under his arm. It’s a cow. He remembers you mentioning offhand how cute you thought cows were, so he decided to grab the biggest one the toy store one the way home had just because he knows it’ll make you smile. You don’t need any more stuffed toys; you sleep with them all in the bed and they’re pushing him off the side at this point because of their sheer number but, well, he likes seeing you happy. 

And then he hears sobbing. 

“Sweetheart?” he asks, immediately panicked. Are you injured? Has someone come to hurt you - has he painted a target on your back because of his job? Bile fills his throat as he stumbles forward…

…and there you are, sitting in front of the TV, PlayStation controller in your lap as tears run down your face while the end of the game plays out. Wade has never felt such relief in his life, laughing as the ache of it is taken from his chest. You turn to him with wide, watery eyes. 

“Don’t you laugh at me, Wade Wilson!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. But babe… are you crying at the end of Kingdom Hearts?”

“No!” you lie, trying to mop your face off with your sleeve. Then the music hits its crescendo from the crappy speakers and you start wailing all over again. 

He loves you. He’d kill a million billion people for you. It would take a hell of a long time but hey, one word and he’d do it. If anyone even lifted a finger to hurt you he’d execute them so thoroughly that every generation of their family would be wiped out of existence too. 

To put it in terms you’d approve of, he’d do anything for you. But he also knows you’d never ask him to. You’re just that wonderful. 

“… would it help if I got us take-out and you started playing the second one?”

“Uh-huh,” you manage to confirm. 

“I could be in this fucking game, beat Donald Duck’s little feathery ass. Disney, make it happen.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry about it. Pizza or Chinese?”

Taglist: @falsewordz @malfoys-demigod @belilwen @mildly-salted @tvwebs @childeslegstrap @getmeoutofhell @s1eep-o @just-a-beatlemaniac69 @yrthr @momopad @sugarplumz100 @captainjinkx @madspads @acrosstheunivcrse @yeethaw13 @na-is-salty @florduarte @hunterispunk

[mossangelll]

Yandere Ekko Headcanons?

AHHH LOVE THIS i got an ask about yandere ekko and jinx x reader so this is great practice! it was super fun to write! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

Yandere!Ekko x Reader

song rec: ifhy - tyler the creator feat. pharrell (honestly this goes with the fic so well…officially yan!ekko’s theme song lmao)

cw: attempted murder, abusive behaviour, unhealthy relationships, yandere behaviour

you’re an orphan, just like ekko and so many other zaunites across the nation

it’s a lonely life; people die, get hauled off to stillwater or become hooked on shimmer - you lose more people then you could ever hope to gain as time goes by

so when you hear about the firelights and the rebellion they’re carrying out you find yourself itching to join their cause

all you want is for the people you love to stay with you and not fall to piltover or the eye of zaun

when you reach the commune you’re amazed at what you see; theres so much greenery surrounding you that it takes a minute for you to come to your bearings and realise that, yea, you are in the right places - there’s even a tree! a real, living tree in zaun of all places!

the magic soon wears off and you start to feel out of place, everyone else has their roles, friends and you’re just an interloper with nothing to contribute

you stand around at the entrance, unsure of yourself and ready to turn back around before a man with frosty-blond locs and eyes so big and brown you could sink into them smiles at you

“hey, you look a bit lost, need help?”

you’re starstruck at his kindness and it’s hard to deny that he’s attractive - painfully so

to you, this was the day that solidified that even in the darkest of times there is always hope hiding in the shadows

but for ekko, the moment he laid eyes on you, shrinking in on yourself and cautious, he felt a compulsion deep within his heart that told him to never let you out of his sight again

he wants so badly to help everyone and lead zaun into a brighter future and that includes you above everything else

over time, you become acquainted with many members of the community, they’ve become your family when you thought you would never have one again, but ekko is your favourite, even if it embarrasses you to admit

you two become inseparable; every firelight around knows that wherever ekko goes, they can trust you to be following behind

sure, he gets mad sometimes when he sees you talking to other people

and yeah, he hates the idea of you going anywhere outside of the community on your own

of course, you thought it was unreasonable when he would beat up random men who even dared glance at you

but he knows better than anyone else how dangerous life can be down here - you trust him when he says he’s only looking out for you

when you look into his eyes, you know you’re in the right place

you know you’ve found your home

one day, you wake up and climb down from your bunk just to find a slip of paper under your door

it was a poem, gracefully written and signed from “gekko”

you chuckle at the fact he used the nickname you lovingly teased him with; at the end, he asks to meet at the tree at sunset

you spend ages deliberating on the clothes you should wear and settle on the outfit that he compliments you the most in

it only seems right for what you suspect is a special occasion

you’re nervous on the way to the tree, wondering what could be so important that he had to write a poem of all things

you clap your hands to get his attention and it’s almost comical the way his head shoots up and his body seems to catapult itself from his tense position

“you’re here! didn’t think you’d make it.” it’s odd to see ekko act so skittish in your presence but you brush it off, he works harder than anyone you know and it’s obviously taking its toll

he nods towards his hoverboard and extends his rough hand out to you and you have to work hard to tamp down your budding excitement

you hold onto him as you both step on, squished together from how little space there is, and hold your breath as he takes off for the skyline, away from zaun and all your worries

he’s never let you ride the boards before so your breath is stolen from you as you look around at the vast expanse of the darkening sky in awe

ekko can’t help but smile at the transfixed look on your face - you’re absolutely captivating like this

you stay like this for a while, just gliding above the clouds before he clears his throat

“So, uh, I bet you’ve figured out this isn’t just some impromptu sightseeing trip, hah.”

he’s bashful, hand rubbing the back of his neck as he stares down at the lights below you, and his words come out so tenderly you’re a bit scared at what he could say

in truth, you too had hoped that he had to say was important to your position as a firelight; that maybe this was the time he finally extended an offer for you to fight on the frontlines by his side after all the times he’s denied you despite you proving you were good enough

“you’re not as mysterious as you think, gekko.” you go to punch his arm and he looks up at you in faux anger before you both erupt into laughter

this is what having a family feels like, and you would never trade this feeling for the world

so it takes you off guard when instead of him essentially promoting you, he blurts out the words “i love you so much.”

he rambles on for a lot longer about his undying passion and overwhelming obsession with you and lack of confidence - he’s been meaning to say something for a while now but was too scared…but you tune it all out

your face screws up in confusion - what? he loves you? you turn away from ekko, panicking over what to do or say

you’re caught between a rock and a hard place - you would never, ever want to hurt his feelings but you know better than anyone that you can’t pretend that you feel something for him that you really can’t return

“i’m sorry ekko but i- i don’t think i feel the same way.”

maybe, you hope, this is some weird joke and he’ll take you back down where both of you will laugh at the stupid face you made

it’s eerily silent when you’re so high up where there are no stars to be seen and the moon is still days away from making its appearance

you finally look at him but his eyes are glued to his feet and your heart drops

before you can attempt to console him, his arms dart out and shove you off the hoverboard with so much force you feel like you’re being launched clean off

your stomach turns into a bottomless pit by the time you’ve come to grips with the whiplash that’s hit you, one hand gripping onto the edge of the board with all your might as the rest of your body dangles in the air precariously

shock overcomes you as a single mantra repeats in your mind, the heightened state of pure terror causing your body to go into overdrive: is he really going to kill me?

“ekko! ekko, PLEASE DON’T DO THIS!”

but when you look up at him it’s like you’re facing a stranger; the features you’d come to love are twisted into a crude mockery of all the memories you accumulated from hours of staring at him in adoration, a horrific collage of every single one of his moods, good and bad, pasted onto a canvas you can’t recognise

it’s all so, so wrong you feel like this has to be some sick, twisted nightmare

“so this is who you really are, y/n? bet you only clung onto me because you liked what i could give you, huh.” he snarls, and you flinch back at the pure hate dripping from his voice

his heavy boot stomps down on your fingers and you cry out in pain and in fear of falling to your eventual death

useless pleas and empty promises babble from your mouth, anything to get him to calm down and rethink what he’s about to do

“all i want is for you to love me like i love you, can’t you fucking see that! just say yes and all of this can be over.”

you hesitate and he’s quick to pounce on your moment of weakness

his boot, now the only thing stopping you from plummeting to the rocky ground, eases up and you start to feel yourself slide further down

you feel your heart stop and it’s as if time slows down to nothing but the minute flutter of his eyelashes and the short pants coming from your heaving chest

you can’t help but think of everything leading up to this day, memories running through your mind at warp speed that you may never get to look back on ever again; is this what they meant when they said your life flashes before your eyes?

you waste no time to frantically nod in agreement, your throat hoarse from screaming but pathetic whimpers still managing to slip out here and there

you just don’t want to die

ekko grabs you by your lone, weak arm and hauls you back up onto the board, stabilising your wavering body in his vice-like hold

“let’s go back, ok babe?” he mumbles, sneaking a quick peck on your cheek which you try to dodge but his fierce clutch on your face stops you, digging in harshly in what you recognise as a warning

at any other time you might have thought his voice was romantic but now? now his dulcet tone is tainted and makes you dry heave even if you try your best to stay calm

you silently nod at him as he begins the journey back, peacefully gliding with the cool evening air whipping through his blond locs, chattering on about his day like nothing had happened, like you two were on some date

but you know from the tight latch he has on you and the incessant glances back at your shaking body that he was simply putting on a show of normalcy, as if to say now you copy me

you find the courage to look into his eyes but the home you once sought comfort in is nowhere to be found

masterlist

[alphajocklover]

hey there. I—-iiii—-I’m sorry, I’m a lil a little ner nervous here. I have this uh, like, um, shy. Uh. Shy persona. Im a nerdyaverage gay dude. And I wanna be able to talk in front of like um crowds. Actually I um, had something in mind. I wanna become a big, jacked jock straight comedian. Telling hilarious and sometimes cringe and crude jokes. Getting egged on by my maybe like um, frat bros or something to tell like obnoxious straight dude joke or something. Yeah. Like super douchebag funny guy muscle straight bro who is the life of the party. Young and dumb dude. Is there anything you have that could make this a reality?

It’s nice to meet you Mike! You don’t mind if I call you Mike do you? I know it’s not your name, but I don’t love using real names in my work… also, if I do this right your name could actually be Mike soon. I think that’s a good name for a straight douchebag comedian. It’s kind of a pun actually, a play on open Mike. You could call yourself Mike Dick. Get it, cause it sounds like ‘my dick’? Not funny huh? I’ll admit I’m not the best at this, but you’re the one who wants to be a comedian, not me. And I’m going to tell you how. You need to do what everyone who has stage fright needs to do. You need to get up on that stage… and just start talking.

I bet you're probably very confused right now. I know that the very idea of talking in front of people fills you with dread, and you came to me so you could get that confidence, not some cheesy advice. But I swear to you that I’m not just giving you empty platitudes. When you get up on the stage, in that spotlight, everything will be ok. Not because you believe in yourself, but because that spotlight is being powered by a very special battery. You might remember my supernova transformations, from my earliest stories. You might also remember that I was able to take some of the energy from it using a special solar panel and put it in a battery. While it turns out that if you use that battery to power a light source… It has an interesting effect. Any guy caught in its rays has they’re wish granted, while also being turned into a jock.when I discovered this I thought maybe I had finally found out how InstaJock works, but the transformation isn’t instant, and I’m not sure if you could get that energy to travel through an app or anything, so it’s probably something else.

Anyways, head on up! At first you’ll be your regular, shy and geeky self, but as you bask in the spotlight and start to open up, you’ll slowly change. Your muscles will slowly grow, your body and face becoming more chiseled, and your sense of humor will slowly become more… raunchy. Thoughtful comedy will slowly turn into cheap punchlines about ‘stupid queers’ and crude stories about ‘crazy bitches with huge tits’. Your audience might not like your new style, but a confident stud like you doesn’t care about what losers like that think, and you’ll be certain to get a following of beefy straight douchebags in no time. Especially if you turn that spotlight on the audience. Have fun, and try to use that spotlight responsibly. The battery won’t last forever, and I’m not going to give you a second one.

[hollowtones]

first yiik impressions?

Hi. Thanks for your message. I've been thinking about this for days. I wrote paragraphs. Here you go!

Everyone talks up how the game is bad, but I've never looked into it much myself, so I went in with an expectation along the lines of "people whose opinions I often agree with think it was an awful mess, I'll likely think something similar". Expectations were low. Even then I wasn't really ready.

"YIIK" is a game of tedium. I don't think it's a game about tedium, that's something different (though it could be, if it was a different video game altogether; "what if the world was made of pudding" etc). To some degree I think the tedium is by design but I'm not really sure what it's in service of.

I don't think tedium in a video game is a bad thing. "Morrowind" and "Breath of the Wild" are two video games I like very much, and some of my favourite memories of those games are of slowly wandering through empty expanses, or having to suddenly deal with equipment degrading or supplies dwindling because I forgot to prepare. Moments like that feel thoughtful! They're interesting moments of reprieve or of tension that feel thoughtfully and intentionally designed! "YIIK" feels like trudging through chest-deep molasses so it can shout "hey did you know you're stuck in my molasses right now? that's weird, why are you stuck in my molasses right now? did you notice?" directly into your ear.

You'll notice this is a pattern.

Combat is turn-based and involves completing little minigames, timing button prompts or hitting targets or some such. It's a cute idea that wears out its welcome when you start realizing how long every single one takes to resolve, especially when you have multiple party members, and sometimes multiple enemies (I'm told this part specifically gets more egregious as the game goes on). I don't think it's awful or unsalvageable but I'm not super into it as of the point we're at.

This is a pattern.

Leveling up is a manual process that you have to unlock, and it involves going to a save point (any save point? we didn't check), to enter the Mind Dungeon, to enter the actual Mind Dungeon, to walk down a set of stairs and enter individual doors one-by-one, so that you can choose how you want to allocate stat increases, so that you can walk down a different set of stairs to commit your choices and spend your banked experience to level up. I think "you can only power up at specific points / times / locations" and the granularity of stat growth are interesting ideas, and the environment they made for it are a charming idea, and I don't think it needed to be a "Hotel Mario" level that you had to slowly walk through. It could have been a menu. They could have used the resources for a nice background or backdrop for a menu that accomplishes the same thing.

This is a pattern.

I haven't really mentioned anything about the story or writing yet. The protagonist's name is Alex and he's a very self-important nerdy misanthropic dickhead white man (a very specific kind of guy that I've definitely met at least once or twice) who is obsessed with a paranormal message board populated by people like him and desperate to find out more about the disappearance of a woman he witnessed. (The woman & her disappearance are based on the real life death of Elisa Lam & aren't handled with a whole lot of tact, IMO, but other people have put this into better words than I can right now. It sucks. It keeps coming up and it makes me bristle every time.) Alex is a bad person. I know he is. You know he is. The game knows he is. I've seen some reviews say a negative point of the game is "the main characters aren't likeable", which I don't really get, because that's the point of the characters, as far as I can tell. The issue, then, is how much time the game takes to exposit at you how bad the characters are. It's exhausting. Every time Alex has a monologue, it feels like it sums up to 10 minutes of "I am a bad person. I am a bad person. Alex is a bad person. This character is a bad person. Do you get it? He's a bad person. Alex is a bad person. Do you understand yet, player? Alex is a bad person. You should know that he's a bad person. Do you get it?"

This is a pattern.

(I don't know how interested I am in bringing up the game's lead writer right now, if at all, but there's a well-known anecdote where he talks about wanting to write a story about a bad person who is forced to grapple with himself and do better, and how the reason why his game wasn't well-received was because people who play video games didn't get it & weren't ready for a story like that. I dunno. I can understand being upset about negative reception to something you poured time and sweat into, and saying something hasty because of it. "Final Fantasy 4" is a beloved RPG classic, though, and "Disco Elysium" came out the same year to overwhelming praise. I haven't played either of these yet, though, so I'll admit maybe I'm off the mark here.)

The characters we've met so far (i.e. the ones that aren't unnamed NPCs) are… well. There's a smarmy younger kid who idolizes(?) Alex & also made the aforementioned paranormal website. So far it seems like he mostly exists to go "hey fuck you Alex, you dickhead" and immediately say something even more insensitive. There's the insensitive based-on-a-real=ass-dead-woman elevator woman, who immediately disappeared from the narrative while still being an essential part of the narrative. There was a dead(?) robot in a bedroom, who had a choir of ominous hooded people monologue about how weird and sad and strange and uncanny the scene is. What the!? There's a woman who works at the arcade and has Powers. Her design's cute. (I feel like, generally, the game's visuals are Fine. The audio, too. That all ranges from Just Fine to Surprisingly Neat. I don't really have much issue with those aspects of the game, but I don't have much to say about them either.) Alex and Kid Whose Name I Didn't Care To Remember are constantly very uncomfortable to her, because she's a woman and because she isn't white, in the 15 or so minutes we've seen her on-screen, and she gets to tell them off, but then immediately kind of goes "well whatever I can smile and put up with this and hang out with you". It feels misogynistic. I know to some degree Alex is misogynistic on purpose, because the game is bludgeoning your skull in and yelling "ALEX IS SHITTY TO WOMEN! AND PEOPLE OF COLOUR! DO YOU GET IT? HE'S SELF ABSORBED IN A SHITTY WAY! DO YOU GET IT, PLAYER? YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ALEX SUCKS ASS YET? MAYBE 10 MORE MINUTES OF THIS WILL MAKE IT CLICK?" But for a woman of colour (the only one we've seen so far who isn't Probably Just Dead) to finally tell him off for being a shithead, only to turn around and go "well it's ok, you're cool now, let's hang out now because it's narratively convenient and you're the protagonist" is pretty damn egregious!

This is a pattern.

Writing in general feels stilted and long-winded. Most of the main characters feel like they don't talk like people do. Alex gets to feel like a person but that's mostly because he gets to talk to himself so damn much. Most of his monologues feel like overly flowery prose, like someone padded it out with identical adjectives to meet a school essay word count. There's an interesting idea or premise or setpiece every now and then. There's a spark. A glint of something compelling. Every single time this has happened so far I find it immediately snuffed out by an over-blown "oh my god!!!!!!! how weird!!!!!!', or a very long plot dump, or a Joss Whedon-ass quip. There can be no small moment of joy. No story element or visual element can stand on its own legs. There can be no room for ideas to breathe. No space for the player to wonder, to dream, to play in the space. The narrative is compelled to suffocate iself on itself, to take up all space, to swallow itself whole in its making. One very minor (so far?) side character has some interesting dialogue in this one dream world, and I think "oh that's neat", and then I learn they're lines taken wholesale from a book (and I think that's fine, reference is fine, but I have a bit of a chuckle over the fact that this character is the reason why the game has a giant REFERENCES option in the main menu). The literal first minute of the game is a bird telling you "oh my god, the title of this game, right? why'd they spell it like that? so fucking dumb, am I right!" It feels insecure. It reads like the writing has no confidence in itself. It has to make a comment about how silly and video-gamey it is, roll its eyes at itself, mock itself for the thing it's doing while continuing to do it without addressing it or discussing it or doing anything with it.

This is a pattern.

There's a specific part of "YIIK", at this early point in the game (we're only around the start[?] of chapter 2), that feels emblematic of the thing as a whole up to this point. Alex is getting phone calls from a stranger. They're confusing and weird and sound a little like something you might hear in a dream. They make references to some shared past, some childhood, some understanding of Alex, or maybe of you, the player. They've come up a few times. Every single time, I'm left thinking about what it could mean, how it fits in with everything we've seen so far & what the game seems to be talking about, with regards to connecting to other people and to yourself. It's a neat little thing. It's a neat idea. I'm charmed by it. As much as my thoughts on this game are largely negative, I still try to look at it fairly, to understand it, to talk about it, to let myself be surprised by it. As soon as I find myself thinking about this, my thoughts are immediately drowned out by Alex telling me how weird the phone call is, how random and uncanny and dumb this is, and how he's rolling his proverbial eyes about it, in spite of all the other paranormal happenings around him, for another period of Just Too Long. And I am sapped of all strength and I crumble to dust.

I'm genuinely transfixed. I'm transfixed! Maybe the fact that I wrote Paragraphs about the 4-or-5 hours I've seen of the game can tell you as much, even if you skip everything I wrote in them.

I can't wait to see more.

This, too, is a pattern.

[blucactus112]

May never come to reality but im planning out a Animatic to AJR's 'Maybe Man' (sue me) and need some help filling in some of the parts.

(Its probably going to be about all the life series in general not specifically Wild life. but feel free to try it fit it all in one series)

!!!long post incoming!!!

General plan so far:

First Half(ish) will be calmly looking at hermits in their peaceful habitats talking about their insecurities.

Finishing the first half when we get to the god part it will be Grian before life series started pleading to watchers and becoming one himself then cutting to him and all the other lifers standing around in a circle (like the start of each series) (much wow)

ONE. TWO. PANDEMONIUM.

murder, just all of the scenes of people dying biggest polt twist, betrayals, and Amount of kills.

Also specifically a close up of grain seeing the server burning in the reflection of his eyes.

ending with another shot of the beginning of a server but we see grains eyes which are weathered and worn out and maybe has some watcher purple

Specific Lines:

Wish I was a stone, so I couldn't feel You'd yell in my face, it'd be no big deal But I'd miss the way we make up and smile Don't want to be stone, I changed my mind

Im thinking scar and Grian Desert Duo? also could be

I wish I had eyes in the back of my head Then I could see the places I've been But then I would know that you're talkin' shit I don't wanna know what my friends think

This im Deff thinking cleo bigb scott and lizzie from the Boogeyman series (i forgor wich one that is)

but open to other ideas

Wish I were my dog out on the lawn I'd be so glad when I hear you come home But if I were my dog, I wouldn't live long I'm sure gonna miss her when she's gone

This is pearl playing with a dog, you cannot fucking make me change my mind

I wish I could act in a show on TV 'Cause then I could practice not bein' me I'll practice my cry, put it into my reel But you won't believe me when I cry for real

im either thinking like Ren or Martyn because of the acting thing or one of the scenes usually portrayed as lots of crying (ie Scott at the end of double life)

I wish that my brain would triple in size I'd nail every joke, I'd win every fight But I'd get too deep with that kind of mind I don't wanna know the point of life

ive been thinking of this as jimmy in general but also i dont want to be mean so other ideas would be great

In some other life I would be rich I'd travel in style, I'd cover the bill But couldn't complain 'bout anything small Nobody'd feel bad for me at all

havent given much thought for ones after this but im thinking Scar on Magic mountain trying to scam everyone?

If I was cocaine or a bottle of Jack I'd get invited to every frat But when you get old and your good days have passed You'll only want me when you're sad

have there been any people that bounce between alliances during one series?

Wish I was a song, your favorite one You'd follow the dance to me at your prom I would be there when your baby is born For two or three minutes, then I'm gone

there was at least one dande floor that was a trap, right??

I wish I was big, as big as my house I'd sleep on the trees, I'd skip every crowd But I wouldn't fit on my therapist's couch God, I could really use him now

probably ep1 of WildLife

I wish I was God, I'd never trip up And if I did, well, so fuckin' what? I could be cruel and break all your stuff Yeah, I'd be loved no matter what

pov grain angst

grain is on super windy mountain top surrounded by watchers crying, pleading to them

But if I was God, it'd get kinda weird 'Cause you would only say what I wanna hear And then you would die, you'd love me to death I never know who the hell I am

grian is surrounded by purple light wings and eyes becoming at least in part, a watcher

I wish I was me, whoever that is I could just be and not give a shit Hey, I'll be whatever makes you a fan 'Cause I don't know who the hell I am

cut to peaceful tranquil plains, all of them jn a circle at beginning of life series laughing joking shaking hands hugging (set em up for emotional damage)

One, two, pandemonium

black, black, PAN DE MONIUM

cut to destruction of server only using reds browns and blacks showing carnage this series has brought (and yes ofc player has died messages will appear in the corner as if in chat)

One, two, pandemonium

im thinking each line will be each of the series in chronological order

Here I go again

One, two, pandemonium

Here I go again

One, two, pandemonium

One, two-

Here I go again

cut to beginning of ?wild life? they all have scars when their final kills have been, some look tired some look determined

if you end up making this animatic if you want to put me in the credits as like 'inspired by' :3 but honestly idc that much. but you HAVE to tell me if you post one bc i will watch the hell out of that

#god i need more tags

[oneofhismanyclouds]

Talk Theory - A Hwang Hyunjin Fic

f!Reader

-wc: 1.1k

-Hyunjin is in a dream where the world is ending and spends his last moments with a women, but even though he knows she is not real he cant help wish she wasn't just a figment of his imagination

-warnings: topics of death, angst? with comfort?, strangers to ???

-Might make this a mini series if people really want it

"We have twenty minutes left..." Hyunjin was seated on a bench when next to him a quiet voice came. Looking over, he sees a woman sitting next to him, not looking at him but at her phone never breaking eye contact with it like it had her under some trance. 

"Um... twenty minutes until what?" He responds; he knows he's dreaming. He remembers telling Changbin goodnight after making plans to try out a new restaurant that opened nearby. 

 "Till the world ends, silly," she laughs, but he can tell she didn't find this situation funny. When she looks at him, he can see the irritation in her eyes from crying, but what she sees is a man who is completely unbothered by the fact the world is ending. “How are you so calm?” She questions and to be honest Hyunjin wants to tell her his reality that this is a dream for him, but the more he thinks about it even if this woman is just a figment of his imagination it just seems too cruel, would she even believe him? Think he's insane? So, he answers in a way he can only think of 

  "I'm actually pretty scared right now, but I enjoy how I have lived my life-” Hyunjin wasn't entirely lying, he would be terrified if the world was ending, and he is proud of how he's lived his life so far,”- its grim but at least I can say I'm going out proud of who I've become.” with wide eyes the women nod and slowly looks in front of them, when he follows her and looks in front of them he fully takes in his setting. Sitting on a bench at a city crossroad, across the street from them, was a bright red telephone box. Cars and trucks causing traffic making those get out their vehicles to yell at each other some running in the direction they would've gone without the traffic.  

“ Thats a way to think about it... I didn't even think about it that way I was to focus trying to get home to my family.” she explains "well ...I tried to get home, but" she gestured to the road, "then I tried to call, but I can't get past this stupid obnoxious ass countdown." Her voice was laced with frustration. Hyunjin grabs his phone and when he turns it on a countdown pops up bright red numbers staring at him, he tried getting past the countdown to open the phone, but nothing would work. 

What kind of system is that? He thinks, a constant timer blaring on people's screens to remind them that they're going to die soon? Without being able to call friends or family? Really thinking about it, it's just a dream to him, but to everyone else here, it's their reality; even if the world wasn't ending in this dream, he would still wake up, never coming back to this place again for him to forget after brushing his teeth. Hyunjin didn't like that, looking back at the women still staring at the road he wonders what she's like, how she thinks, her favorite drink, does she like mushy romcoms like him? He wonders if this situation never happened would she still approach him. It's just a dream... This person isn't real, he reminds himself. With a sigh he leans back, and his eyes catch the telephone booth, and he has an idea 

“Hey! Does your family have a house phone?” his voice is is filled with hope and the women turns to look at him shocked by the question. 

“y-yeah? Why?”  

“Do you remember the number?” he asks another question, and the women nods. he stands up and ushers her to follow him by reaching his hand out, confused and her face flushed she stands up and takes his hand,” You can try the telephone booth and be able to talk to your family even if it's just for a couple of minutes!”  He starts running across the street pulling her with him- avoiding all cars and people on the street and while doing this he notices he can't hear anyone else's voice besides hers and his own. maybe Hyunjin can't save her but maybe he could help ease her mind. 

As they reach the booth she yells out, “But! I don't have any change!” Shit! He just assumed she had change without confirming before filling her with false hope. He’s at a loss suddenly he starts frantically searching all his pockets,” Hey! Stop! It's okay!” She reaches out to his arms to stop him, forcing him to look up at her, her small smile with sad eyes crushing his heart. She lets go of his hands before speaking,” What's your name?” 

 "What?” a small gasp leaves his lips. 

“Your name?” she repeats. 

“Hyunjin...”  

“Mines ___ , you're a good person Hyunjin”  

“I-I'm sorry it didn't work” he stammers, she shakes her head and takes a seat on the floor next to the telephone booth patting the spot beside her signaling for him to take a seat. 

“Technically it did work.” she starts and he looks at her confused. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Have you heard of Schrodinger's cat theory?”  Hyunjin shakes his head.” Schrödinger said that if you place a cat and something that could kill the cat like a radioactive atom in a box and sealed it, you would not know if the cat were dead or alive until you opened the box, so that until the box was opened, the cat was both dead and alive” he lets out a little laugh at this. 

“Why would you do that to a cat?” 

“Only real monsters would do that! It's just a thought experiment, a hypothetical situation.” she giggles giving him a light smack on his shoulder. 

“Okay! Okay! but how does this apply to the booth?” 

“We never tried it because we didn't have any change so until we try it, it worked and didn't work.” he hums  

“How’d, you come across this theory?” 

“Oh! A random YouTube video I watched at three in the morning” both break out in laughs, the two continue telling each other things about their lives, the atmosphere that the two created being lively and joyful compared to the reality of the situation. Hyunjin suddenly feels the bittersweet feeling spread through his chest and he wonders if she feels it too. ___ glances at her phone and then looks back at him. 

“I wish we met sooner”  

I wish you were real. 

“I have so much more to tell you...like string theory.” she continues  

3 minutes left 

“Does that cat theory mean whichever outcome we don't get a parallel world gets it?” Hyunjin asks 

“Yeah why?” 

“Then maybe right now instead of the world ending we are friends or even lovers in a cafe talking theories like right now.” 

2 minutes 

“Lovers huh?” she teases, Hyunjin rolls his eyes 

“I also said or friends!" she giggles in response while he shakes his head with a smile 

1 minutes 

“Hyunjin?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Do you believe in the Meet People twice theory?” 

0 minutes 

mainlist!

[theblack3stday]

BELONG TO ME — Remus Lupin | part one

Pairing: Remus Lupin x fem!reader

Summary: You always felt like you didn’t belong in your universe. One day, you find yourself in 1977 and you meet there the Marauders.

A/N💌: Hey! I was trying something different, I hope it’s not that bad😭 I wanted to do series, but if it’s bad I won’t continue it.

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: depression, mentions of anger attacks and etc

You find yourself in a place of never-ending movement, you were still a teenager, but you've already lived through so many experiences that it's hard to keep track of it all. You've seen so many places and met so many people, yet none of them seem to feel like home. You felt like you're always on the move, and even when you do settle down for a while, it's hard to feel comfortable. Instead, you find yourself filled with frustration and sometimes anger, even at the smallest of things. You've always been judged harshly, and it's left you feeling insecure and doubting yourself. Your life has been a string of disappointments, and you find yourself feeling more and more like a burden to everyone around you. You were always the second choice or felt unloved, and even though that was never true, the feeling has persisted and eaten away at you. You find it hard to build true friendships or relationships because you feel like they will always leave you, so you often keep people at a distance and refuse to let them get close to you. Even though this isn't the case, the idea that it will always be the outcome has become so deeply ingrained in you. Maybe it was crazy, but it always felt like you didn’t belong in your universe. You have this sense of not belonging in this world, like you are somehow separate from it. Like you don't quite fit in. Perhaps you feel more at home somewhere other than here, or perhaps you just don't seem to gel with the people around you. Whatever the reason, it feels like you don't quite match this world around you and that makes the feeling of alienation and isolation even stronger.

In the last class of the day, the English teacher started talking about the existence of another universes and dimensions. You've always been interested in the concept of other universes and are fascinated by the idea that there could be other realities and dimensions beyond this one. Especially, you loved thinking that there is a universe where you are happy and don’t feel like you don’t belong there. This is the first time you've heard anyone talk about it in a school setting and are eagerly paying attention to what the teacher has to say.

"So as I was saying, the multiverse is the idea that there are endless universes out there. Each one has its own unique characteristics, with different versions of us and different laws of physics." he continued talking

"So you mean we aren't the only us out there?" one of your classmates asked him.

"That's the idea. The multiverse theory states that every decision you make spawns a new universe. So there's a universe where you took the other route home, one where you picked up a different book, and so on. Every possible choice creates new realities."

Everyone started whispering and discussing the idea. "It's kinda mind-blowing, huh? There's a whole multiverse out there, and all these different versions of you. And here's the crazy part: they're all real. Even tho' they're happening out there in other universes, they're just as real as our reality. So basically, you're co-existing with an infinite number of other you's right now." he chuckled to his students reaction.

As the teacher talked about the multiverse, it hit you – there might be other versions of yourself in different universes. The idea that somewhere out there, there's a version of you who feels happy and at home gave you a glimmer of hope. It was like a light at the end of the tunnel, suggesting that things could be different in another universe. You always thought of that.

You are walking down the streets of London, headed home from school. Everything seems normal and familiar as you make your way through the city. However, after a while, something feels odd. You feel like you're walking in circles and suddenly realize you don't recognize where you are anymore. You begin to panic slightly, but after a few moments of struggling, you spot a familiar landmark and know that you're on the right track again. You find your way back home, but the experience leaves you feeling unsettled and confused. You were still confused from your encounter in the streets and couldn't fully take in the differences in your house. When you try to open the door with your keys, they don't fit. After a few tries, a redhead girl opened the door. You feel stunned and disoriented as she stares at you with a confused look on her face.

"Hello, can I help you?" the redhead's bright emerald eyes were staring at you with a look of curiosity.

"Um, I think maybe there's been a mistake. I thought this was my house." you raise your eyebrow, baffled by the situation.

"I live here. This is definitely my house. Are you sure," the redhead asks, unsure of your answer.

"Yes, very sure. But the key doesn't fit, so..." you raise the possibility of a mix-up.

"Maybe you got it wrong? Check the number." the redhead suggests a simple explanation, unsure of this whole situation.

You look closer at the number and double-check to make sure you hadn't gotten it wrong. Suddenly, a wave of dread washes over you as you realize that’s the same number as your house. But how was that possible?

"I think maybe I did get it wrong. Sorry to bother you," you begin to back away, with dismay. You find yourself walking down the street, stunned by the situation and trying to process everything that has just happened. You're feeling a mix of disbelief, confusion, and fear, unsure of what has just happened or how you got here. You try to think back on what could have happened, but your mind is drawing a blank. Nothing makes sense and it feels like anything could have happened. A rush of adrenaline floods your body. As you walk down the street, you suddenly feel drawn to a date that has been written on a sign outside of a nearby store. Your eyes hone in on the date and your heart skips a beat as you read it. It says 1977. You couldn't believe your eyes and had to pause for a moment to process what you were seeing. Could it be possible? Was it really 1977? You stare at the date for what feels like minutes, but it only lasts a second. Your mind races with the possibilities. Were you somehow thrown back in time? Was this some sort of alternate reality? What was happening? Your curiosity was building and you found yourself wanting to explore more of this strange world. It felt surreal to see that it was 1977, and you were suddenly filled with wonder and curiosity. As you continue to stare at the date written on the store, you suddenly feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn to see the redhead who had previously spoken with you, standing behind you.

"Are you alright?" the redhead asks, with a look of concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine," you reply, trying to mask the fact that you time-traveled or change your reality. “I’m sorry that i came to your house like that. I’m new here and my aunt lives in your street. You know all the houses looks exactly the same, which is creepy, and i was confused.” you lied, trying to not look so weird.

The redhead chuckles at your response, finding it amusing but also empathetic. It seems clear she understands the confusion and bewilderment that you must be feeling. "I can't say you aren't right," she laughs, finding the situation humorous yet also relatable. She continues to stare at you with a sympathetic smile “I’m Lily, by the way. Lily Evans.”

“Y/N Y/L/N.” you smiled at her.

Lily’s eyes light up as she mentions, “You know, we’re heading to the park later to meet up with some friends. Would you like to come with us? It’s always great to have new faces around.”

A mix of hesitation crosses your face as you contemplate the offer. You were homeless and in different place, whatever it is called.

“Okay you’re coming.” she grabbed your arm and started walking you with her.

“Actually-“ you tried to stop her.

“It’s gonna be fun, you’ll love them.”

As you walk together towards the park Lily, noticing your initial hesitation, leans in and whispers, “I’m really glad you came. Trust me, you’re going to love hanging out with this bunch.” Her genuine enthusiasm puts you at ease, and you start to feel a sense of camaraderie with this group from a different era.

Lily introduces you to her friends, The Marauders. As you walk together towards the park, Lily introduces you to her friends, the Marauders. She points to a dark-haired boy with mischievous eyes and a playful grin, calling him as Sirius. Next, she indicates a boy with messy dark hair with glasses as James, her boyfriend.

“Then there's Marlene and Mary." she continued. Mary smiled at you kindly. Marlene, was more playful, but she smiled at you too.

“And this is Y/N, guys.”

As she introduces you, a quiet and serious-looking boy with brown eyes and brown hair, an air of wisdom about him, came towards you. When he was close enough, you realised his scars on his face. You can't help but feel mesmerized by his beautiful eyes, as you notice the depth of intelligence and wisdom in his gaze.

"And this is Remus," Lily says, as the boy approaches. She introduces you formally. "This is Y/N, my new friend." The boy stares at you intensely, his dark eyes piercing into yours as he tries to understand who you are and what you're doing here. He stares for a few moments, considering his next words carefully. "Welcome," Remus finally says, his voice low and almost a whisper. "I'm Remus and it's....nice to meet you." He pauses, his deep, brown eyes studying you as he considers what else to say. It was a bit awkward, but nobody mind it, everyone went back talking. There was something different about Remus, you felt it.

[gegesusu]

Sebaciel Childhood Sweetheart story：

*I had some Sebaciel fan art made based on story below:

*English is not my first language

*It is just a concept story under Modern AU, where both Sebaciel living as normal human, met each other in their childhood. In this setting, they both have a normal family, and living in a normal life.

*[Ciel] do exist in this setting, so Bocchan will be called as he\ little one in this fiction. It’s annoying not to know his real name, but I do not want to make it up :

There is a home party held in Phantomhive ‘s house. As always, the elder brother is standing in center of the spot light. His younger brother, watching the elder one, who is doted on by everyone in the party. The younger feels like he is just an audience of this party, so he escaped,going to the balcony without light turned on so that no one will see his loss.

“Are you all right?”

He looked up and saw a boy five to six years older, might came from one of his parents’s friends. The maroon eyes sparkled like rubies in the dark. The black hair reminded him of the big, scary, loyal dog in the house, but at this moment, it gave him a sense of security that overflowed.

Even so, the little one is nervous about meeting strangers for the first time, and he suddenly into panic.

“Oh, I'm, I'm sorry, I. . .”

“I know, It's boring to go to grown-up’s parties, right? I was forced to join this party , but it is so boring, so I escaped.” The boy in front of him has realized the elephant here, so he start to talk himself to clear its way. “Hey, If you don't mind, would you like to have some chat with me? I thought we two can get well .”

[Chat? A conversation with me must be further boring! There are other kids in this party, why he asked me? Oh, I see, he must have mistaken me for Ciel!]

“Sorry, I-I'm not...”

“Yes, I do know you are the younger one from Phantomhive. Oh, apologize for not introducing myself. I'm Sebastian.Nice to meet you”He reached out his hand for a greeting.

[Sebastian… our guard dog also called this name]

Since Ciel is his twin brother, people used to mistake him for Ciel, his own existence is always thin when his brother is here. But this time, someone gave a notice for him, it is so out of blue, and confused. It is his first time meet Sebastian, why he can know the difference so quickly? Maybe because he isn’t such a weak person as I am so Sebastian immediately recognized him. Is he feel pitiful for me, being alone?

He just looking at hand in front of him, trying to read the mind of Sebastian —smiling with sincerity.

A pair of ruby only reflect himself, waiting for his response patiently.

First time in his life, he felt he have been seen by another person.

Somehow....it let the little one feel kind of happy that someone could recognize him at the first place.

So he took the hand just for him.

”... Nice to meet you…too “

This is their first met.

[shradsmanifestt]

hi, im sorry for bothering u right now. ive been asking around for advice everywhere because i really need all the help i could use right now. my anxiety is flaring up like crazy because my results come out tomorrow and im so scared because if i mess this up then my future is ruined. my mental health has been horrible and that has severely affected my grades but in most asian countries they dgaf about that and basically think it's nonexistant for minors so ofc i'm still undiagnosed, and if i were to apply to a uni i wouldnt get any good chances anywhere. if i could just get 3 Bs in my AS levels it would be okay or else i'd have to retake it and it's super costly here.. i don't wanna put my family through that because they'll talk me down, degrade me, destroy my self esteem which i've managed to build back a little. they were like this since when i was the topper and thats what made me burnout. undiagnosed adhd, trauma, depression also contributed to it

im applying the law, but instead of the feeling of success that everyone else gets i feel panicked. the 'feeling' people usually get when they're in the wish fulfilled state, the feeling of accepting it and it being real—im not getting that. i dont see a clear picture when i visualize. every time i try to, i end up breaking down and feeling like a failure... but I'm still trying to go on because why is it that the people who hurt me and practically ruined my life get to live successfully, while i suffer? thats not fair... i promised myself that if i could just get 3 Bs, ill turn my life around and work really hard... but is it over for me? i want to win, im trying to, but im scared

im trying my best to visualize myself getting 3 Bs, reenacting my friends faces when i get the results, praying to God and thanking Him for blessing me and continuing to bless me, but there is this fear still lingering at the back of my mind... i feel like I'm not doing it right. i have like one day left and I'm so nervous. im going over posts, tweets, and every time I feel a little better, it all comes crashing down because of doubts. theres only one thing one my mind right now: 'how am I gonna turn it around in one day?' i know that the 3D does not matter and that everything is done in imagination, but here i feel like its not done in imagination either

right now nothings clicking in my head, whatever i read is getting scrambled in my mind, i feel so lost and empty. could u please tell me what to do in this specific situation? u can be as harsh as you want if that's what's needed to get the point across. im really sorry for the bother and id be really grateful if u could please help out, ive never been this desperate before... my life cant be over before it even started

Hey love,

I get you, I really do but trust me when I say this.

THIS SHIT IS REAL AF. Manifestation is real af. It's as real as the fact that you are a human being. All you have to do is trust yourself that it is already done. If good results is what you want then that is exactly what you'll get. You need to choose to stop having doubts because it is already done. That is the simplest answer I can give you. Persist on what you want.

I am glad to tell you this but I just got test results for a major exam held in my uni today and I got into the 95th percentile just by saying to myself that my super power is aptitude tests and that I already scored great. In my friends group only 3 of us were eligible and I have 70+ more marks then them as well. If I can do it, you can do it. You need to stop doubting yourself. Atleast stop doubting manifestation. Cause at this point you're only gonna manifest your doubts.

I'll give you a scenario - If you're worried about getting bad grades, Trust me when I say this you're gonna manifest exactly that coz you will manifest exactly what you assume. You can choose to stop that right here, RN. Choose to accept that you got great marks. I mean don't even like aim for B's go for A's. I don't care even if you left the paper blank coz if you assume you're the topper, that is exactly what's gonna happen.

If you do get bad marks and I'm gonna be harsh here - You're the only reason why! You're gonna manifest exactly what you assume to be true even if it's good or bad. Your sc mind don't differentiate btw what's good for you or what's bad for you. It only knows what you feed it.

You got this, TRUST ME

Love, Shrads.

[mae-i-scribble]

My post on How I Attended and All Guys Mixer picked up a few more notes than I was expecting recently and it reminded me that I've been wanting to talk about how appreciative I am about how the series handles sexuality. I'll only be talking about the manga here bc I haven't seen the live action drama nor do I plan to. But I just think it's really neat that with our 3 male protags we get to see 3 very unique reactions to 1) learning that crossdressing is a thing and 2) how they in turn feel attraction wise.

I'll start off with Asagi as I feel his is the most straightforward in that he just takes everything in stride. Literally nothing phases him. Thanks to that he's the most nonchalant of the group, just chatting up and trying to make friends per usual. He's confused somewhat, but doesn't pay it any mind and just tries to get to know everyone as he would any other new friend. Personally, I can really see an aro/ace argument for Asagi due to the way he's just, completely unaffected and uninterested in the romantic ongoings around him. He compliments the girls and such but even when the manga is going pretty hard pushing its other pairings Asagi and Fuji truly just seem like good friends. I'm not delusional, this is a romance manga that from the get-go clearly has these pairings in mind to all get together romantically, but until it happens I can gaslight myself into believing my aroace truth (is coping so bad).

Going from most chill about everything to 2nd most chill we have Tokiwa. Tokiwa is an interesting case in that he's polite to such a degree that he does his best to mask his initial confusion and shock (to the extent that yknow, a comedy manga will allow). Though it doesn't really work because he is very overwhelmed by the situation at hand. However, I don't think this is attributed to the girls' crossdressing alone in the same way that Hagi can't get over his initial shock of the concept. Tokiwa's chief concern isn't the "weirdness" of it all but the fact that he came here expecting a meet cute with a cute girl and instead is getting a meet cute with someone equally as charming but with none of the reserved attitude we see Suo have while she's fem-presenting. My boy is not worried about gender norms he is worried for his sanity due to the attractive person flirting with him.

Honestly, this panel here implies that he finds masc-presenting Suo even more attractive. The fact that he even tries to reassure himself that because Suo is a woman this situation is less flustering is very interesting. Not that it does anything. Pouring one out for Tokiwa for real. As the manga goes on, Tokiwa gives off the vibe of someone who is comfortable with his sexuality enough that the gender presentation of the person he likes is irrelevant, both are attractive to him in different ways. Again, while Suo's crossdressing is a point of interest in the sense that it's not something he understands or gets intuitively, he doesn't have nearly the same level of crisis as Hagi does. His attraction to Suo is never questioned- rather it seems to be a question of whether or not he thinks Suo is genuine in her flirting.

And our last boy is Hagi, poor beloved Hagi who is having the time of his life trying to figure out that hey, sometimes people don't dress or present stereotypically. It's a rough life for you Hagi. However, his inner conflict is very gripping. I find his reaction and subsequent coming to terms with the idea of crossdressing a very realistic take on the subject much more akin to your average person being introduced to everything for the first time. It never feels mean spirited even if Hagi can be offensive in this thoughts and comments at first- it's born from a place of genuine confusion, both towards himself and towards the girls. Hagi falling in love with Kohaku, while a little to rife with misunderstandings for my taste, I think is a wonderful narrative of how even being straight doesn't mean that there is one way to feel attraction. While Kohaku throws around the idea of him being bi due to him being attracted to Kohaku while she's masc-presenting, Suo best sums it up when she says that it's not about the words or the looks, its about who it's coming from. And given that we haven't seen Hagi struggle with this from anyone else, it's a safe bet to say he likes Kohaku as masc-presenting, not necessarily masc-presenting people or men in general. Attraction as a fluid concept is something most straight romance stories, let alone a comedy based one, seldom bother to explore along the gender spectrum. Hagi's struggle to understand himself and what his attraction to Kohaku means to him personally is such an interesting take that it elevates the entire storyline out of miscommunication hell almost (just almost).

Idk idk this feels like a very silly rant to have but I do in fact love this manga more than a reasonable amount and this is definitely one of the top reasons for it. I would love for it to get a bit more attention but I shall settle for rereading it for the 20th time I suppose

[cynthiaandsamus]

(While reading Olympus I've been thinking about the philosophy of Part 2 and part of it has always kind of bugged me, like each Lostbelt seems more perfect than the last and we just happen to find some wrinkle to justify it being bad even though I'm sure a lot of people suffering in this world would take that tradeoff for some of these places, like regardless of how bad some of them are underneath it would be better for people to live like that even if we see it as 'unearned' from the outside perspective and it felt like the bad stuff was just tacked on as an afterthought to be like "Oh yeah blow it up, it's okay, it doesn't have the suffering of the real world so it's not REAL. And that bothered me, it read to me like the point of living in the real world IS the suffering, like if we somehow managed to cure world hunger we'd be the next on the chopping block because the unanswering weird force that decides what good history is wants us to keep suffering. And I get the whole "Kingdom Hearts is Light" thing they're going for with the best in humanity and all that but it just seemed so weird on a humanitarian level to be like "yeah this is fine" to all the abject suffering in the (Fate version of the) world.

And then something kinda clicked for me, I remember watching Apocrypha and that anime is very weird because I dunno about the novel but the anime makes it seem like they're not really sure why Shirou Amakusa is bad until they get to his place, like they don't know what his fucking plan is and just kinda assume it's bad and will kill as many people as possible based on that baseless accusation, but when they finally hear his plan for the Salvation of humanity there's no Human Instrumentality darkness behind it, like it would fundamentally just be good for everyone but they still reject it based on the idea that "If you hand salvation to humanity they'll never know if they could've done it themselves." now in Apocrypha because this kinda comes out of nowhere late in the game it just sounds like Sieg's butthurt about Shirou killing his waifu and basically committed to stopping the 'evil' plan they all sacrificed so many people for and makes it sound like people have to "earn" the right to not suffer and die for nothing which again I get the idea it's going for but you're still saying "Hey the world is on fire but I'm not gonna fix it because Shirou Amakusa's not a present-day dude, sorry Haiti, keep starving".

But I think FGO does this a lot better because if you apply the "If you hand salvation to humanity they'll never know if they could've done it themselves" moral to the Lostbelts something becomes a lot clearer, the salvation humanity receives in every Lostbelt is flawed BECAUSE it's not something humanity earned for itself, because it was something gifted by divine force and powers beyond the peoples' control and also because if they wrote actualy good places for us to blow up it'd be too dark to sell to horny teenagers but shhh. It's not saying that if we stop suffering humanity will stagnate, it's saying that the only end to suffering that will be worth it is one that humanity creates itself. Something that isn't human can't create a truly perfect ending for humanity. This also kinda bugged me in Apocrypha because they start talking about how human magic can reach the point of being soulblobs on its own if people believe in themselves or whatever and that's just not something applicable to real life since that power system doesn't exist and the idea that we can create anything like that in any sort of realistic world is hopelessly naive, but as far-flung as the FGO version of it is, even if it'll probably never happen, it emphasizes it's the only thing worth doing.

[ppenguinpperson]

cardiomyocytes and connective tissue @nopanamaman

I’ve wanted to do a fic like this for some time now, a ‘thank you’ letter to PAFL and its community of sorts. I’m happy I finally got around to writing it:) 

I wasn’t sure whether I should do this or not, but, hey! It might make someone feel a bit better!! Or, reading the fic will. That’s enough reason, I think, and you don’t have to read this, of course, no matter who you are.

First of all, I want to talk about PAFL a bit.

The first PAFL song I listened to was PiP. I saw its thumbnail when listening to some other music youtube, and so, I listened to it. Oh boy am I glad I did:) I remember thinking how cool it is that someone's making songs for their OCs and that people are interested in them. I could see so much love for the characters in it. I was so happy when I discovered there were more songs like that!! This was around when Comfort Zone had first come out, a week or two after at most. That was two years ago. I’ve been obsessed ever since.

I love PAFL. I genuinely love that songs haven’t been coming out much lately. Like, there’s media that comes out weekly and sucks shit. I’m glad Ferry is taking their time with this!!! Even if all we get each year is one song, that’s cool, because the community is wonderful and we also get doodles and art and now patreon stuff.. yippee yay… !!! And even if we didn’t. who the fuck caressss!!!!! I love coming up with AUs and OCs and theorizing with my friends!!! the time between songs gives us time to do all that:)

The characters are so charming. Every member of the cast has been a fave of mine at some point or another. They’re all so, real! I love them! I love how they fuck up and I love how they get fucked over and I love how they get exploded and killed and shot and hugged and saved and helped!!! They’re human… might not make sense, but i rlly do like them…

It’s so neat looking back at older songs and seeing how stuff’s changed. The art style, the music, it’s all so nice to look back on. Even if I wasn’t there for it.

And don’t even get me started on the worldbuilding..  Everyone say thank you to Boris Strugackij and Arkadij Strugackij for making roadside picnic and inspiring Ferry to make this… so lovely and neat. wonderful. I have not read it myself, but I might, just to be able to make my own pafl OCs more swagger..

So. This fic.

I can’t mention two years ago without at least mentioning my depression.

I can’t remember most of last year, speaking truthfully. Parts of 2021 are also fuzzy. Depression and anxiety are terrible, would not recommend. This feels cheesy to say, but it does get better!!! Slowly, unsteadily, it gets better!!! I don’t mean for this part of the post to be a ‘feel bad for me’ thing at all. Do not. I am safe and healthy now and I couldn’t be happier to be here right now.

Is life good now?? Sorta, but what matters to me right now is, I’m happy!!! It feels so surreal. I never thought I’d be like this. A part of me wants to be angry, to get depressed again about how I could have been happy all this time. But I won’t!!! Because then I’d spiral and forget another year, and, I don’t want that!

Which is so cool!!! I can like, fucking, do stuff now!! I can throw away the bad thoughts, embrace the good ones, encourage myself!!! I do things!!! I go outside and goddd dude that’s so good!! I go outside!!!

I’m doing stuff! I’m drawing, writing, cleaning my room, taking care of myself!!! If I didn’t stay alive to enjoy these small joys, what am I even here for?? 

And I’m alive!!! I’m here!!! I made it, I’m here, writing this on 10th november, 2023, and I’m ALIVE!!!! How cool is that??? 

And yea, the world is shitty, it sucks ass, but, my friends don’t!!!:3 and that’s more than enough for me… SHOUT OUT TO MY FRIENDS!!! I LOVE YOU DUDES!!!

Moving on:

It doesn’t feel right to say that I’m here now only to PAFL. But, what I can say is that it’s been a wonderful crutch for me!! It’s been something to focus on, something silly, but also something I can relate to, and something that inspires me to make my own stuff! I’d most likely still be here, were it not for these silly songs.. but, not sure I’d be as alive as I am now! Unsure if my heart would feel right in my chest! And I wouldn’t have met my amazing friends!!!! Everyone here is so nice.

Dima may be a bit OOC in this fic, and that's because! This fic is based on my own experiences, which, i don’t think is bad…

I could talk here forever about how it gets better. Butttt to be quite honest I don’t wanna lol. I just wanna say, Thank you! to Parties are for Losers, for being cool. 

(Though I also wanna say, don’t put Ferry on a pedestal, they’re human, we all make mistakes, all that stuff.)

Ok time to go back to my manly Sergei ways and never talk about emotions ever again. or as anya would say: FUCK IT WE BALL!!!!!