#you should have seen me watch that movie yesterday lol

[todayisafridaynight]

Hey so Snap this is going to be so fucking weird, but honestly don’t care. So I was watching a clip of Drag Race Philippines and it was the make over episode and I think they were making over family members and this father was all about getting into drag. So, I just wanted to tell you never forget how much of a lovely loving kind and caring father you have, who loves you and protects you and makes you feel heard. That’s all.

i'd have to die before i forget how great my dad is thank you for the opportunity to brag about him again anon

[b3ach-bunn7]

CHANGE OUT OF SOMETHING YOU KNOW

You’re the League of Villans new healer. Messages between you and their resident arsonist.

slight nsfw, more just teasing than anything else

(title based off the blood orange song plz listen 🙏)

—————————————————————————

October 8th

2:06 pm

You: hi, idk if Shigaraki told you but I’m the leagues new healer!! I think we r bedroom neighbours :D

You: so if u need anything I’m a room away lol

Dabi: K

You: wow so articulate

Seen

October 10th

12:09am

Dabi: Shiggy says go to the bar

You: okay

You: what did he need?

Seen

October 11th:

4:40 pm

You: did u eat my leftovers

Dabi: 🧐

You: BRUH

You: ur buying me more idgaf

Dabi: Hell no

You: I’m gonna tell kugisaki then

Dabi: Okay? Tf is he gonna do

You: aren’t u on his Spotify family plan

Dabi: Fine I’ll fucking buy u more fatty

You: HAHA

October 13th

10:09am

Dabi: Shut the fuck up

Dabi: Ur so loud

You: that’s what she said 😂

Dabi: Actually kys

Dabi: Turn that shit down

You: aw ur so nice 🥰

October 15th

2:06 am

You: can u shut up it’s 2am

Seen

October 19th

1:18 am

You: where r u

You: shig says u need me

Dabi: I don’t need shit

Dabi: I’m fine

You: right so the blood trail leading to ur room is just decor then?

Dabi: Getting a head start on Halloween

You: just let me in 😒

October 20th 

3:07 pm

You: where do u get the staples for ur face and stuff

Dabi: Y

You: just Y is crazy 😭

You: I’m getting supplies for the league

Dabi: Target

You: ???

You: they’re just normal staples???

You: I thought they were like medical ones

Dabi: Too expensive 

You: brokie

Dabi: Kys 

You: okay and what if I did

Dabi: Mission accomplished

You: prick 

October 22nd

11:31 pm

Dabi: Need healing

You: what’s the magic word 😁

Dabi: I’ll burn u to a crisp?

You: omw!!!!

October 25th

8:43 pm

You: do u guys do anything for Halloween

Dabi: R we 12

You: duck off

Dabi: 🦆 

You: STFY

You: ykw I mean

You: like a party or smth

You: or do I have to source my Halloween activities outside of the league

Dabi: Idk

Dabi: Ask Toga

You: okay thanks for nothing 🙄

Seen

October 25th

10:01 pm

You: ME AND TOGA R HAVING A MOVIE NIGHT

You: 🤪🤪🤪🤪

You: u are invited 

Dabi: K

You: its for Halloween so u have to dress up

Dabi: The fuck

Dabi: Y

You: togas never cekebrated Halloween

You: and she got kinda sad when I asked fo i told her we can dress up here

Dabi: Oh

You: so if u can come she’d greatly appreciate it!!!

You: and ig I would too 😒

Dabi: Yh you’d love me there

You: shut up 

October 29th

3:43 am

Dabi: Y/N

Dabi: Y/N

Dabi: R u awake

Dabi: Y/N

Dabi: Wake up

You: wtf do u want 

You: its theee am

Dabi: Ik but I need you

You: huh

Dabi: Healing

Dabi: Got hit bad

You: oh shit okay

You: you in your room?

Dabi: Tes

You: coming

Dabi: Lol

You: bros dying and is still cracking jokes

October 29th

2:05 pm

Dabi: Does ur quirk always do that

You: do what?

Dabi: Hurt u

You: oh thattt

You: well it like gets rid of ur pain and injury but part of the pain had to go to me 

You: has*

You: my pain tolerance is high tho so idm most of the time

You: ur wound was just kinda bad yesterday so it hurt a bit more than usual 😅

You: or this morning ig

Dabi: Oh

Dabi: I didn’t know that

You: lolz it’s okay 😝

You: I’m used to it

Dabi: Thx ig

You: you guess?!??!

Dabi: K

You: YOU kys 

October 31st

7:06 pm

You: YOU ACC DRESSED UP :D

Dabi: I’m wearing plastic fangs

You: I see those eyeliner bite marks on ur neck

Dabi: Y r u looking at my neck freak

Dabi: Should be watching the movie not me

You: shut up

You: does this mean u wear eyeliner

Dabi: Shut the fuck up

You: HAHA

Dabi: Never text me again

You: ughhhhhh ur soooo emo 🖤🥀⛓️

Seen

November 4th

5:09 pm

You: DABI

You: DABIIIIIIUIII

You: PLZ MY CREAMTION KING

Dabi: Cremation u freak

You: LMAOOOOO

You: that was an accident

Dabi: What

You: can u come with me and toga to watch the fireworks 😝

Dabi: Ur actually on Togas dick

Dabi: Leave her alone

You: r u jealous I’m not hanging with u :/

You: I promise we can go out

Dabi: Ew

You: rude

You: plzzz just come

Dabi: 😳

You: UR SO GROSS

You: we r leaving at half past

November 8th 

4:07 pm

Dabi: Grab black hair dye on ur way home 

You: what brand

Dabi: Manic panic

You: wait does this mean ur hair isn’t actually naturally black??

Dabi: No the dyes for Toga

You: ohhh okay

Dabi: Ur so fucking stupid

You: LEAVE ME ALONE 😭😭

You: can I help u dye it 😝

Dabi: No

You: PLEAAAAAAAASE

Missed call

Dabi: Never call me again

You: PLEASE

Dabi: Fuckijg hell

Dabi: Fine

You: YIPEEE

November 12th

1:15 am

You: dabi istg

You: shut the actual fuck up

You: both of you

Missed call

You: bro ur actually pissing me off

You: WE SHARE A WALL

You: I CAN HEAR U TEO FUCKING LIKE IM IN THE ROOM WITH YOU

You: I actually hate you 

November 12th

3:06 am

Dabi: Soz

Dabi: Lol

Dabi: We’re finished now

You: yeah I could fucking tell 

You: dickhead

Dabi: 🙁

Dabi: I was just giving her a good time

Dabi: I can show you if you’d like

You: she’s literlaly still in the room with you u degenerate 

Dabi: You been listening?

Dabi: Freaky 😛

You: FUCK YOU

November 15th

10:06 pm

Dabi: image attachment

Dabi: Tf is this

You: it’s yakult idiot 

Dabi: Why is it in my room

You: oh I heard u say to toga u can’t buy them cause

You: ur a famous villain and stuff

You: so I bought some when I was out 😝

Dabi: Why

You: omg we’ve upgraded to full words

You: idk I just saw them and remebered so i grabbed them

You: if u don’t want them I’ll come grab them sorry if I made u feel weird

Dabi: Shut up it’s fine

Dabi: Thx

You: 😝

November 17th 

9:07 pm

Dabi: image attachment

You: HAHHA

You: WHAT HAPOENED

Dabi: Some weird ass slime guy in an alley way

Dabi: Spinner got hit

You: he looks like those alien toys that come in the slime eggs

Dabi: 🤣🤣

You: poor baby

You: I can’t heal that

November 20th

11:16 pm

Missed call

Missed call

Dabi: What did I say about calling me 

You: plz pick up

You: I think this guy is following me

You: and I’m scared

You: I took like three turns anrbhes still behind me

Dabi & Y/N, Time elapsed: 45 minutes

November 21st

12:15 am

You: thank you for earlier 

Dabi: It’s ok

Dabi: What did he look like 

You: uhm a bit shorter than u, brown hair and I think brown eyes

You: he was wearing a green bomber jacket and he was by the corner shop

You: why

Dabi: None of ur business 

You: I can hear u leaving ur room

You: where r u going

Dabi: Shut up

You: right 😭

November 22nd 

1:06 am

You: bro not again

You: please STOP

You: can’t u go back to their place for once like 😭😭

Dabi: He’s busy 😘

You: girl idgaf

You: go be busy somewhere else 

You: or stfu

Dabi: Sorry

Dabi: She took my phone 

You: again idgaf just plz shut up I wanna sleep

Dabi: K

You: 🖕

November 24th

9:09 pm 

You: me and twice are watching a movie if you wanna join 

Dabi: What r u watching

You: hot fuzz 😝 

You: a classic 

You: u probably don’t even know it 

You: it’s kinda underground and too cool for u

Dabi: I do fucking know it

Dabi: Cornetto triology

You: …

You: literally in love with u rn 😍

Dabi: Shut up

Dabi: Coming don’t start without me

You: okayyyyyy

Dabi: Stfu

You: 😞

November 30th

8:07 pm

Dabi: Turn ur music down

Dabi: Y/N

Dabi: Y/N

Missed call

You: what did I say about calling me 🥀⛓️🖤

Dabi: Turn ur fucking music down 

You: It’s chappel roan 🙁

Dabi: I don’t give a fuck

You: KNEE DEEP IN THE PASSENGER SEAT

Dabi: Stfu

You: AND UR EATING ME OUT 😔😔

Dabi: You wish

You: :/ don’t ruin Chappel for me

Dabi: I’d show chappel a good time

You: She’s a lesbian u freak

You: EYE will show her a good time

Dabi: Can I watch 😍

You: Ew

Dabi: 😔

December 2nd

6:36 pm

You: bro

You: where tf is kugisaki

You: do yk 

Dabi: Nah

Dabi: What do u need 

You: I’m so fucking cold

You: the heating in my room isn’t working😔😔😔😔

You: and I’m gonna die of coldness

Dabi: L

Dabi: Can’t relate

You: where r u rn

Dabi: Couch

You: okay I’m coming

You: ur gonna warm me up thanks for offering I accept

Dabi: Tf

You: On my way! 

Dabi: Lol

You: shuddup 

Dabi: Stay in ur cold room then

You: IM SORDY IM SORRY

You: u can keep talking forever 

Dabi: Good girl

Dabi: Bring the yakult from my room

You: okay 😁

December 10th

5:45 pm

Dabi: Are u crying

You: omfg can u hear me

You: that’s so embarassing wtf 😭

Dabi: Why r u crying

You: lmao I’m just on my period

You; I saw a tik tok of those army dads coming home and they always make me cry

Dabi: Lol I just heard u sob again

You: yeah it’s so funny 

December 10th

6:10 pm

You: DABI

You: DID U GET ME THESE

You: THE CHOCOLATE AND THE heavy duty pads

Dabi: No

You: :D u so did

You: thank u :((

You: how did u know I like m&ms 😝

Dabi: Cause ur always eating them fatty

You: HEY

You: I’ll cry again

Dabi: Loser

You: yeah a loser u bought chocolate for 

December 15th

9:18 pm

Dabi: Why r u crying again

You: why r u watching me freak

You: it’s movie night not Y/N night

Dabi: I can hear u sniffling ur right next to me

You; YH cause ur warm

You: idk my sister loved this movie

Dabi: Why is that making u cry

You: because she’s dead 😁

Dabi: Oh

You: yeah oH 

Dabi: Damn

You: LMAO 

You: thank u for the comfort 🙏🙏

Dabi: Idk what to say 😔

You: people usually say sorry

Dabi: I’m not saying that shit

Dabi: i didn’t kill her

You: LMAOOO

Dabi: There there 

You: that works 

You: just keep me warm and I’ll be okay

Dabi: I’m not a human heater

You: my body is telling me smth different

Dabi: 😒

December 18th

5:07 pm

You: bro do u have my laundry

You: I think spinner put it in ur room by accident 

Dabi: He did 😁

You: why r u so happy about that

Dabi: Cause ur pink panties are so pretty

You: I’m gonna kill myself!

You: STOP LOOKING AT MY JNDERWEAR 

Dabi: Its not my fault theyre all over my bed 

Dabi: So u like lace

Dabi: Noted

You: I hope u know I’m on the ledge rn

Dabi: Aw don’t be shy 

Dabi: Its nothing I haven’t seen before

You: whore 

Dabi: A good one

You: I’m coming to get them and no words will be exchanged between us

Dabi: Boring

December 19th 

8:37 pm

You: oh dabi ���😁😁😁😁

Dabi: No

You: u don’t even know what I want

Dabi: Yes I do

Dabi: Toga and Twice asked me and I said no

You: :(

You: plz it will be so fun

You: and the limit is ten pound plz

You: I haven’t done a secret Santa in ages and forever

Dabi: No

You: pleeeeeaaaaaaaaase

You: :(

Dabi: Fucking hell 

Dabi: Ok

Dabi: If I get shiggy I’m buying him Vaseline

You: YIPPEE

You: thank u :D

Dabi: Stfu

December 23rd

11:52 pm

Dabi: Come to my room 

You: fuck off

You: yk I can see u from the living room

Dabi: Oh

Dabi: Okay?

You: u ain’t slick lil bro 😭

You: also yk that’s not even mistletoe

You: I think that’s just a twig from outside

Dabi: Again

Dabi: Okay?

You: shut up

Dabi: Plz come to my room I need healing 🙁

You: SHUSH

December 25th

2:06 am

Dabi: y/n

Dabi: why arnet unhere

Dabi: ehy am I dirnkifn with shiggy and teice 

Dabi: shouod be with u baby

You: oh dabi :/

You: I told u I wanted to stay and watch Christmas movies with Toga 

You: r u drunk 

Dabi: ovviusly 

Dabi: come to the bar

Dabi: wanna kiss you 

Dabi: bring the miserlloe

Dabi: miseltoe

You: shut up

Dabi: xome shut me up with ur mouth

Dabi: so hot

Dabi: are u wearing that lacy underwar 

You: plz stop talking about my underwear 🙏

Dabi: vant stop thinking about them

Dabi: wanna fuck you white youve still got them on

You: okay!!!! I think that’s enough drinks for u!!!!!!

Dabi: no im beirng fr

Dabi: ur so hot

Dabi: hmerry christmas 

You: merry christmas dabi

Dabi: my lisp really hrut 

Dabi: kiss them better

You: hypothetically I could

Dabi: pelase baby

You: goodnight!!

December 26th 

3:07 pm

Dabi: I meant all of it btw

You: 😭😭 u drank half the bar 

You: how r u even awake

Dabi: Fucking headache

You: I can heal it if u want

Dabi: Please

You: okayyy omw 

Dabi: Wait

Dabi: Did u open ur secret Santa

You: wait no I didn’t

You: cause u wanted to be different and leave it in my room and not under the tree

Dabi: Open it first

You: okay………

You: Dabi

Dabi: 😁

You: is this fucking christmas themed lingerie

Dabi: 😁😁😁😁

Dabi: Wear it while u heal me

You: DIE

—————————————————————————

do I think the LOV would actually be this close and family au? Probably not. Do I care? HELL NO. Ik he’d be such a degenerate even if he is a cutie deep down

also the whole “he’s busy 😘” thing is him trying to get over u and realising he acc wants to fuck YOU and not the random girls he’s picking up on the streets

I feel like my Britishness comes into play so much in these text posts so plz excuse it.. but I just love Touya.. my inspiration has been crazy recently but plz don’t get used to this 😔 uni is only getting busier

[madamechrissy]

Your series is on toppp, i was always waiting for your new post especially that gojo series lmao. Anyways, can we get a gojo x innocent!reader?? Make them likee childhood friend and gojo takes her virginity lolll.

Thank you sm love, I hope you enjoy it <3 You know I've never given Gojo a virgin in anything, it's his first time for me lmaooo! 🩷🩷🩷

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x virgin reader

Contents/warnings: cute fluff, friends to lovers, first time/loss of virginity, oral sex (M and F receiving), explicit sex, pet names, not much plot lol, just smut fr

Word Count:: 3.7k

🩷 First Time 🩷

You are sitting next to Satoru on his couch as you all watch one of his silly movies. He has laid out a million snacks and treats for the night, including bowls full of Halloween candy from yesterday. Yes, Satoru was twenty two and yes, he still went trick or treating, you’d been dragged along with him all night last night, running from house to house.

Your feet still hurt, you’re wincing and rubbing them, and Satoru looks over at you with his stupidly pretty eyes, eyes you should be used to after being friends for ten years, but sometimes they… well they did things. Satoru seems to be clueless at his effects on you, how when he tickles you, you gasp, how when he pulls you against him, you sigh and inhale his scent.

You’re pretty bad at hiding it.

Suguru and Shoko make fun of you endlessly, but you are just too afraid to ruin your friendship. But then, you’ve also non stop turned down men, left and right, pining away for him. It certainly was not the best way to go about things, but you’re holding out for him to be your first. Even though it’s foolish to think it will happen, you can’t help but wait for him.

Satoru was not dating anyone, he really had not dated much since high school, he would have a fling here and there, but mostly he spent time working and then with his friends. With you.

“Feet hurting? Bring ‘em to Daddy.” He teases with a smirk, and you giggle, rolling your eyes.

“Oh gosh, Satoru. You really gonna rub ‘em?”

“Sure am, it’s my fault they hurt. C’mere.” You lean back on the couch and prop your feet up on his lap, as his long fingers press into the soles of your feet, you moan a bit, and he pauses, looking at you.

“Sorry.” You say, flustered and overheated, and Satoru looks back at the movie, his tall, lithe body leaning back against the cushions.

“No need to say sorry, it feels good hmm?” He teases, as you try to focus on the movie, but he’s pressing his fingers deeper, and massaging your feet so good your eyes flutter shut.

“Very good, oof thank you.” You say softly, going to pull them back a bit, but Satoru now has raised his massage to your ankles. You gasp. “That tickles!”

“Does it? You’re so ticklish.” He’s running little circles on your ankles then, and your thighs shift as his hands slip even higher, to your calves.

“That feels… really good, mmm.” You whisper, wishing it meant less to you, wishing you did not treasure and drink in every bit of your best friend. His shiny white hair, his perfect straight nose, model cheekbones and pouty lips. Satoru Gojo was the prettiest man you’ve ever seen, but it’s more than that.

His little smirk and how his snowy lashes lower over his eyes, his laugh when he’s being silly, how his body looks in that black skin tight gym shirt, his biceps curling as he’s gently brushing your legs. You bite your lower lip then, as he’s still watching the movie, his touches lighter, little caresses down your legs.

“You have nice legs.” You sputter then, mouth wide, and he peeks at you, a little blush on his cheeks. “What you do.”

“Um… what? I do?” He looks down at your thighs now, and when his huge hands cover them, you can’t stop the little whimper, drawing his attention to you.

“You doing alright over there?” He asks then, raising a brow, and you cover your face now.

“I have to say something.” You shift your legs down, and Satoru pouts.

“I was having fun playing with them, meanie.”

“Satoru…” You lean forward on the couch, touching his shoulders gently. “I really have to tell you something.”

“Go on then, silly girl.” He taps your nose with a little smile. You take a deep breath, looking into his swirling blue eyes then.

“I want you to be my first.”

“What!?” He’s sputtering now, and jumps up, and then you jump up, turning away and covering your face.

“I’m so stupid, of course you wouldn’t. You’re Satoru Gojo, you can have anyone. And you’re experienced. And-”

“Hey, hey.” Satoru’s hands are on your shoulders behind you now, and you tense a bit at the touch, heart racing. “You’re prettier than anyone I’ve been with, it’s not anything like that.”

“Shit, really? You think I’m pretty?” You whisper, looking back at him, and he exhales, hands squeezing a bit, nodding.

“Of course you are, silly. I tell you that you look cute all the time, do I not?”

“Cute. Not pretty.”

“Well, you’re cute and pretty. And… you’re a virgin?” He turns you to him then, and you nod shyly, tucking your hair behind your ears. “Why me the first time, why not a boyfriend?”

You sigh then, fiddling with your hands in front of yourself. “You’re who I want it with. We can stay friends, it doesn’t have to like ruin it, you don’t have to date me.”

He blinks his white lashes then, tilting his head. “Why wouldn’t I wanna date you?”

“Because we’re friends!”

“And I like you, a lot. I always have. I thought… Well, I thought you didn’t like me like that.”

“What!?” It’s your turn now, and he smirks a bit.

“Well, I’m half naked in front of you constantly, and I barely see you check me out.”

“I do! But I look away when you look at me. You don’t check me out!”

“Oh, I do.” His eyes dart down your body now, and it’s as if he’s touching you, as he looms over you, so tall, so sexy. “I look away when you look at me. Now, you really want a first time, you have to be my girlfriend, I’m no hussy.” He states, putting his hand to his chest, and you laugh then.

“I can absolutely do that. How do we seal this boyfriend/girlfriend status then? A selfie? A pinky swear?” You step closer, trailing a hand up his chest now.

“Mmm, all of the above. But first, this.” Satoru leans down now, kissing you for the first time, his soft, plump lips pressing on yours, and you gasp at it, before kissing him back, putting pressure on his lips, wrapping your arms around his neck, on your tip toes. Satoru moans softly, pulling back, his hands on your waist, then his eyes lock onto yours.

“Toru… that’s perfect.” You murmur softly, as you still feel the tingles of your lips, then you realize you have a tear sliding down your cheek. Satoru swipes it away gently, tilting up your chin and bending down, lips against your ear.

“I wanna have you cumming so hard you scream my name, pretty tears falling out of those pretty eyes.” Your body reacts viscerally, your nipples pressed against the little tank top you’re wearing, as he nips your ear then, sending shivers down your spine at the sensation.

“Please.” Satoru’s kissing down your neck now, hands on your hips, feeling your every curve, your hands enwrap in his silky hair, gasping when he picks you up in his arms like it’s nothing.

“Anything you want, pretty girl.” You melt at his words, as he carries you to his bedroom, laying you down and sliding up your tank then, revealing your breasts, he exhales as he sees them, nostrils flaring. “Holy… they’re so fucking pretty.”

“You like them?” You ask shyly, and he nods eagerly.

“Take it off, please, be a good girl for me.” You’re dripping wet already, as you lean up and pull the top over your head, your tits bouncing gently. He’s gripping them in his big hands then, squishing them and running his thumbs over your nipples, your back arches. “Tell me what you like, don’t hold back, I want to learn all of you.”

“That feels good, it feels so good.” You say softly, and he then kisses down to each peak, sucking them into his hot mouth. “S’good, mmm!”

He hums a bit, his big hand sliding down your tummy, making it tremble, as he finds your shorts, pulling them down. “So, do you masturbate Miss Virgin?”

“Jerk, ugh. Of course I do, ah!” He’s kissing and nipping on your rib cage now, looking at you with his eyes dilated, pupils so big there’s just a ring of that brilliant blue now.

“Show me what you do, then I’ll know where you like to be touched most.” He’s taking your hand now, grinning with those white teeth. “Aw, ya blushing?”

“Well, y-yes. Um… I don’t finger myself, I just rub my clit.”

“Of course, those small little fingers, they can’t hit good.” He holds his fingers out, double your length, so long you clench around nothing imagining them, getting wetter when he presses your finger to your clit. “That’s it, pretty, show me.”

You rub your clit in circles, aching for him, as he stands up, taking off his shirt then, and you drink in his body hungrily, as he drinks in yours. “Fuck you’re gorgeous Satoru.”

“And you’re gorgeous, best friend. Girlfriend. Shnookums.”

“Shnookums!”

“Tossing cute names around.” He’s sliding his jeans off now, just in his dark blue boxers, then you see that outline, making you heat up even more with such strong desire. “Go ahead, keep going, you’re doing good.”

“Want you to touch me.” You whisper, as he sits back on the bed, the springs creaking under his weight, watching as your finger is playing between your lips, taking your hand gently and sucking on your finger then. “Oh!”

“Yummy. Need to taste you.” He says then, his voice husky, you are crying out when he rubs his fingers along your folds, down your slit, where wetness is pooling down to your entrance.

“Toru!” Your hips buck up when he runs circles on your clit, eyeing you carefully now.

“Have you had anything inside this pretty pussy at all?” He asks, sliding down to lay between your thighs now, his hands pressing into the plush of them as he spreads them wide. “So perfect.”

“No, I haven’t.” You admit, then gasp out when he slides one of his thick, long fingers inside you. “Ah… ah!”

“Fuck you’re so tight.” He pecks little kisses on your thighs, nipping as he studies you, pressing on a spot now that makes you see stars. “There it is.”

You’re falling apart as he pumps that long finger in, before stretching it to two, which is so hard to take, you can barely get to his first knuckles. “Toru, it’s too much… too much…”

“Aww you can take it, can’t you? Gotta stretch this tight little pussy for me, I’m a lot bigger than those fingers.” You can hear the squishing of your wetness as he kisses closer and closer, and you’re entangling your fingers in his hair, pressing against his scalp. “You’re so needy for me, aren’t you?”

You can’t speak then, when he kisses the hood of your clit, pulling the fingers out to part your folds gently. Your legs shake on either side of his head as he studies your pussy even more, moaning as he does. “Toru, um what are you doing?”

“Gonna eat you out, pretty girl. I can’t just have a treat like this and not eat it, don’t you know I have a sweet tooth?”

“Are you sure, I didn’t expect-”

“Oh this is my favorite. You’ll love it.” Satoru swipes his tongue up your slit then, and you’re moaning so loud it’s embarrassing, and he exhales, tickling you so good, his cool breath blowing on your overheated cunt. “Yummy.”

“Toru, fuck…”

“What a bad mouth, young lady.” He glares, and you laugh, breathless. “And you’re laughing, ah-ah.” He smacks your pussy, shocking you, but you like it, as you’re gushing more arousal out of your little hole. “Freaky little virgin.”

“Toru!”

“Stop talking back missy.” He smacks it again, and grins at your reaction. “Let me enjoy my treat, hmm?” You just nod, and he dives down now, sliding his tongue in and out of you in the most delicious tongue fuck. You’re already pulsing around him as he drinks you up, exploring you with his tongue, lips, teeth.

Your back arches, as he’s fucking you with it over and over, his teeth hitting your clit when he swipes up, finally swirling your clit in circles with the tip of his stupidly talented tongue. You can’t stand how good it feels, the pressure in your tummy, then you realize you’re going to cum, and cum so hard, you feel everything on fire, every nerve ending lit up.

“Gonna cum, gonna cum!” You pant out the words, and Satoru’s moaning against you, leaning up, half his face covered with you.

“Cum all over my face, let me drink you pretty.” He’s not goofy, silly Satoru, he’s some damn sex demon now, as he flicks his tongue once more, and you’re shattering for him, pulling him against you as you cum.

Satoru rides it out with you, continuing to flick his tongue so fast, sipping up the wetness out of your soppy cunt. You feel so good you’re blinded, eyes blinking rapidly to try to focus, to try to cling to this earth. He’s more serious now as he exhales, fingering you again, sliding two in with ease at how wet you are, hovering over you.

“Such a good girl, came that much for me? Wanna taste it?” He asks, and you nod nervously, then he’s kissing you, letting you taste your sweet arousal. Your hands slide down his hard abdomen, over the ripples of muscles and sinew, until you find his boxers, tugging. “Oh fuck, wanna touch me?”

“Yes, please.”

“I wasn’t sure your first time.” His care melts you, melts any worries you have away, but when he takes off his boxers and you see him, you panic.

“Oh that will never fit!” You watch him chuckle then, his soft hair falling over a brow as you touch it, your tiny hand not covering hardly any of it.

“It will fit, I promise.”

“Will it hurt?” You ask, brows together, stroking him, watching his eyes flutter shut, biting his lip.

“I haven’t been with a virgin. Um, I hear it hurts a bit, but you’re so wet and warmed up, I hope it won’t for long. I’ll go easy on you, the first time.”

“The first time!?”

“Then we’ll get freaky.” You giggle again, stroking him up and down.

“Can I suck you too?”

“You want to?” You nod and he exhales, getting on his knees then, gently positioning you on all fours. “Fuck it’s like my four pm nap.”

“Huh?”

“I nap after work, and you are always in some position. Some new one. Legs spread, ass in the air.” He wraps your hair up, pulling it gently into a ponytail, his pretty cock so thick and intimidating, twitching as you flick your tongue on the pink tip. “Oh fuck, that feels good.”

“What do you like?” You lap at the pearly liquid weeping from his tip, tonguing it and tasting it, sweet and a little salty, before sucking a couple inches in your mouth, earning his little whimper, so sexy it makes you impossibly wetter.

“Anything you wanna do, fuck. At your mercy here, the tip is the most sensitive. Can you take more?” Satoru’s voice is soft as he presses in further, and you’re moaning around him, nodding. “Good girl.”

“Mmm.” You’re sucking more of him then, as you look up, seeing his perfect form, that happy trail of white hair under that flat belly button, his hard body tensing as you stroke him where your mouth can’t reach.

“Okay, too much, I want to last for you. Mmm.” He pulls you off gently now, pushing you back to lay down, settling between your thighs, fingering you with his two fingers again. “Are you sure about this? We can wait.”

“I want this, I really do. I have for so- ah- long. Toru! Close!” He’s sliding his fingers out then, leaving you whining, as he now presses his thick tip in your entrance, and your eyes lock as you gasp.

“Want to feel you cumming around me, love.” Love that little pet name is destroying you. “Relax, please, don’t tense, just trust me. I got you.”

“I trust you, Satoru.” He exhales then, head resting on yours, then presses in, and you whine out at the pain of the first stretch, and he pauses, groaning.

“Oh fuck you’re so tight. Are you okay, pretty?” You nod a bit, as he eases back, and you’re gripping his back so tightly your nails are leaving crescent marks. “Oh fuck…”

Satoru moans as he presses further in, and you’re full, too full, it’s like nothing you’ve known. He sinks in so deep you feel him in your stomach, feel him everywhere, burning the skin as it stretches to accommodate. Satoru studies you carefully, his brow scrunched up, cupping your face with one hand.

“Baby, you all right? Gotta tell me.”

“I’m so full. It’s just… a lot.” He nods, kissing you again, rocking his hips, and then his tip drags on that spot he’d just fingered, and it feels so good, you’re clinging to him. “There, there!”

“Here?” He does it again, and your eyes roll back, feeling him roll those hips, you’re wetter and wetter with every shallow thrust, and he’s whimpering again, his cheeks flushed pink, his lips parted. “Cum on me, please?”

You need no further urging, you’re soaking Satoru’s cock as you cum, and his lips drink your moans, his hands now holding your thighs, sliding them up further, starting to fuck into you now. You’re falling apart under him, moans ridiculously loud, pleasure is coursing through your body while he fucks you into another orgasm.

“Toru, Toru! Mmm!” Satoru’s pretty eyes look into your own.

“Can I go harder, love?”

“Yes, please.”

He laughs just a bit. “You can take it, huh?”

“I can, fuck I can.” He fucks you harder then, pressing your thighs up, and you’re struggling to take more and more of him, as he’s so deep he’s hitting your cervix.

“Feel me here?” He takes your hand, pressing it on your tummy, and he has a wicked grin as he slides in slow, and you feel him there, making you squeak. “You’re so cute.”

“Cute, still, while mmm… fucking?”

“Cute anytime. Cutie.” He smacks little kisses on your cheeks, somehow he’s dirty and sexy one moment, then sweet and adorable the next. “Mwah!”

“Satoru!” You giggle when he leaves a loud kiss on your lips, but then he presses in so deep and grinds, and you lose all sense. Everything is fading, floating.

“Call me Toru when you cum.”

“Toru!” You cum all over his cock, arousal dripping down his length, down his balls that are smacking your ass, and he sucks in a breath when he feels your walls fluttering around him.

“Trying to milk me, she’s greedy already.” You have no clue what he means, all you know is it feels even better, as he’s thickening inside you. “Question.” He huffs out then, panting over you, his chiseled body dripping in sweat.

“G-go ahead.”

“On birth control or I gotta get plan B?” You nervously bury your face into his throat, and he’s laughing softly, stroking your hair as his strokes slow. “Baby gotta let me know, I’m not gonna pull out, wanna fill you up.”

“I’m on the pill. And t-take it on time.” He sighs, tilting your chin up then, smirking deviously, eyes bright fucking blue and insane.

“I’d cum in you anyway, you’d be cute pregnant.”

“What now!?” He’s slammed his lips on yours again, pressing your thighs up, and then he’s fucking harder, sounds of your skin smacking mixing with your wetness, as he fucks you so hard your tits are bouncing, the headboard is smacking. “Taking it easy, huh!?”

“This is easy, love. Oh fuck… gonna cum…” He moans then, his hands cupping your face, and you feel him throbbing inside you, thickening, you are filled with hot ropes of cum, coating your walls, and you cum just from that, earning his groan. “Oh you’re such a good girl.”

He’s gently pumping, gasping as he pumps even more cum, and your muscles are already pushing it out. He sighs then, smacking kisses on you over and over, every inch of your face, making you so blissful, as he’s fucked any thoughts out of your head, you feel like you’re floating, clinging to him, nails digging in.

“This better not be just once.” He says with a glare, and you grin, shaking your head and brushing his hair back.

“Absolutely not just once. Oh! Ouch.” You hiss a bit as he eases out, and you go to look down, but he tilts your chin up, shaking his head.

“Don’t look, you’re always scared of blood. Gonna faint.”

“It’s that much!?”

“No, but you’re sensitive about that. I’ll be right back.” Satoru hops up and you look at the ceiling, you hear a shower running, see the steam rolling into his room, and then he’s back and cleaning you up, before picking you up in his arms. “Let me take care of you, yeah?”

“Yeah, I would love that, Toru. Sounds so good.” He has you under the scalding hot water then, sudsing you up with bubbles everywhere, forming little puffy clouds on your breasts then rinsing them, laughing like he’s having a blast. You shake your head as you watch him.

“I used to jerk off when you’d take showers here.”

“You what now!?”

He just grins, pushing the shower head even lower. “Picturing you, did you ever… you know…”

“Satoru!”

“Did you!?” You look at his shower head nervously, then him, and he’s grinning even wider now. “Oh, you’re a bad girl.”

“Oh stop it, silly. Maybe once or twice. You have great water pressure. Ah, Toru!” Satoru is now on his knees in the shower, looking up at you and rushing that hot shower water against your clit. You gasp at it, as he wraps an arm around your hip to steady you.

“I’m gonna have so much fun with you.”

Gojo Drabbles/ one shots - Masterlist

[thebiggerbear]

Close Enough

Summary: When you'd met the Shaws at the morgue the day before, you thought that had been the end of it and you wouldn't need to see one Shaw brother in particular again. Little did you know that Colter was about to once again ask for your help and not only would you be forced to see Russell again but things were about to change drastically for the both of you.

Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader; Russell Shaw x Female!FBI Special Agent!Reader

A/N: Sequel to So Close. I wanted to follow up and reveal what happened between Russell and the reader in the past but as I was writing it, this idea popped into my head in addition to that and I just had to see where it went. This was the end result lol. Hope it's okay.

Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine. I still have not seen Tracker (besides 1x12) because I just haven't had the time for a proper binge yet so if I got some things wrong about Colter and his experience in the show, I apologize.

A little disclaimer: I have never worked in law enforcement so I tried to piece together things I’ve seen and heard in true crime documentaries and podcasts alongside with movies/tv and books. I apologize for any inconsistencies, incorrect information, exaggerations, or complete fallacies. Basically, I made shit up.

Songs I listened to while writing: Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye; Easy Loving by Loretta Lynn & Conway Twitty; Sweet Dreams by Patsy Cline; Sounds of Someday by Radio Company

Warnings: sanctioned assassination; death; gun violence; graphic description of killing; violence/blood mention; mention of dead bodies; arson; implied sex; a trace amount of smut(ish?); language

Word Count: 16K+

Russell Taglist: @deangirl96 (I hope you don't mind me tagging you in this one; this is going to lead into the series that I mentioned on "So Close"); @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel

Jensen Taglist: @samanddeaninatrenchcoat

This work was recc'ed by @winchestergirl2 here.

Your phone started to buzz and you glanced at the screen, rolling your eyes and letting out a sigh before picking up. That wasn’t the normal reaction you would have to seeing Colter’s name pop up on your phone but ever since that mess back at the morgue yesterday, you had been hoping he wouldn’t contact you again. At least not until his brother went back to whatever hole he’d crawled out of. But now it looked like that had been a fool’s hope, on both counts.

“You what?” You hissed.

“We’re about to head to this home in the Blue Ridge Mountains and go in to get Doug,” he repeated.

“I’m sorry, an incredible amount of stupid just sounded in my ear. Can you repeat that?”

“Reenie got me the location and it’s solid intel.” He lowered his voice. “Look, I thought we should get law enforcement involved, alright? But there’s a…valid reason why Russ doesn’t want to call them that I can’t get into right now.”

“Whoops, more stupid. One more time?”

Colter groaned into the phone. “Come on, Y/N.”

“I’m serious, Colter. What the hell are either of you think—wait, scratch that. What the hell are you thinking? Going into a dangerous location like that without any backup? If Carlos Solano found your missing man in a safehouse, do you think he won’t be armed to the teeth? That he won’t have guards patrolling the compound that you’re walking right into? That he won’t see something like this coming? You guys are walking right into a shitstorm.” Christ, you loved the guy like a long-lost brother that you sometimes kept in touch with but if he were in front of you right now, you would’ve delivered one good smack to the back of his head to get him thinking straight. Colter may know his way around a gun, but he wasn’t someone who had formal training or combat experience like Russell did. He didn’t even have your training and you wouldn’t be going in there kamikaze-style like they were.

“That’s why I’m calling you and asking you to meet us there. I’m not exactly calling in law enforcement but we’ll have one more person to watch our backs and help us search for Doug. And who better than a special agent with the FBI?”

You sat back in your chair, shaking your head but thinking it over. This was beyond stupid and you shouldn’t be encouraging it. Russell’s involvement in this idiot plan didn’t surprise you; Colter’s did. He knew better. But you also knew that if he thought he had a chance to get the missing guy back home safely, he was going to take it, no matter the personal risk. If you didn’t go like he asked and anything happened to him or Russell, you’d never forgive yourself.

“Please?” 

You pinched the bridge of your nose between your thumb and forefinger, your decision made. “Send me the location and I’ll leave now to meet you.”

“Thank you.” You could hear the genuine gratitude in his tone. “I promise I’ll explain everything.”

“You better,” you nearly growled before disconnecting the call. You had a feeling you knew what he was going to tell you but for his sake, you hoped it wasn’t anything close to what you were thinking. But why else would Russell not want to call law enforcement for help in rescuing his friend who had been taken hostage by a foreign criminal? God, you hoped you were wrong.

You let out another loud sigh and before you could stand, your phone started ringing again. When you glanced at the screen, instead of a name, you saw “Blocked”. Not good.

You swiped green, holding it to your ear. “Y/L/N.”

“We have a problem,” said the voice on the other end, one you knew all too well, and it didn't sound happy. Shit.

You watched as Colter’s truck pulled up alongside your car. Colter got out and noticed you leaning against your trunk, arms crossed and a scowl in place. Russell came around from the other side. 

“Either of you boys see two suicidal idiots around here? Oh, wait.”

Russell’s jaw tightened. “It wasn’t my idea to call you.” He slid a glare over to his brother. 

“You’re lucky he did,” you snapped. “And since I’m here,” You got to your feet and turned to open your trunk, revealing a smorgasbord of gear and weapons. “We’re going to be doing this my way.” You held out a bulletproof vest to Colter first and he immediately started to strap it on. You held one out to Russell but he shook his head and didn’t take it. You glanced over to find he had already put his own on while you’d been grabbing one for his brother.

“Okay, look,” Russell started, his eyes scanning your makeshift armory and setting your teeth on edge. “This isn’t some FBI raid of some drug gang. This guy, Carlos Solano, he’s the real deal. He’s as dangerous as they come.”

You could feel your irritation turning into anger at the suggestion that you didn’t know how serious this was, and from him of all people. “And what am I? Some part-time mall security guard? A receptionist at the Academy? I’ve dealt with cartels before and they’re as dangerous as they come, too. So take that mansplaining and shove it right up where the sun doesn't shine.”

Russell took a step closer and laid a hand on your shoulder, his eyes burning into you. “Be pissed at me all you want but I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“But you’re okay with your brother getting hurt?” You briefly glanced in Colter’s direction. The younger man was watching you two carefully as he adjusted his vest one last time, wisely choosing to stay out of this one. 

Russell’s jaw clenched and he dropped his hand. “I’ve got him.”

You snorted and grabbed a gun, loading it quickly. “And I’ve got both of you. Now, we’ve got a bit of a hike so let’s cut the chit chat and get this over with, shall we?” You motioned for Colter to turn around and you inserted an extra handgun into the back of his belt. “We stick together as a unit. You hear me? No wandering off alone.”

Colter faced you again. “Yes, Mom,” he teased.

You swatted at his shoulder before checking the fit of his vest, nodding in approval.

“I have done this before, you know.”

You knew that already. You’d been there with him a couple of times for such instances. “Good for you,” you quipped. “But for kicks, how about you just humor me?”

He rolled his eyes and you smirked, turning to slam the trunk shut. You glanced up to find Russell watching you, his jaw still tight but his eyes containing a familiar light that you hadn’t seen in a while. “You good?”

“Yep.” And just like that, the light hollowed out, replaced by something far colder yet familiar, but not because you’d seen it in his gaze. You’d seen it often enough in your own when looking into the mirror. 

Pushing that thought away and shifting focus, you began to lead the way into the trees. “Alright, let’s do this and get Doug home in time for breakfast.” Colter flanked you on your right while Russell came up on your left. 

“Let’s rock and roll,” he agreed. 

It hadn’t been as bad as you’d been expecting, even after you’d received the intel Colter had referred to on the phone. One guard and three henchmen. You were annoyed and almost insulted that they had presented so little a challenge considering Carlos Solano was supposed to be this big bad criminal. But when you glanced over and saw Colter looking over Russell’s bloody jacket sleeve, you regretted the thought and gratitude immediately filled you that things hadn’t been worse. Russell had taken a bullet to the arm and thankfully, it had passed right through. 

Before you could shoot the bastard that shot him, Colter and Russell were on it. You watched in awe as the brothers moved as a single unit, almost as if they hadn’t been strained or missed a beat over the years. You supposed you should be happy that they were working together rather than still arguing over shit from a lifetime ago that had torn their family apart. For Colter’s sake at least.

Just then, you heard what sounded like a small plane outside. You hurried to a window and glanced outside, seeing a rapidly descending charter plane aiming for the tiny landing strip in the back of the property. Right on time.

You let the curtain fall and looked back at the guys. “Time to go.”

Doug’s face was ashen while Colter and Russell exchanged glances. Immediately, Russell picked up his gun and got ready to leave the room.

You rushed to stop him. “There will be none of that!” 

“You guys get Doug back to the truck. I’ll handle this.”

You practically jogged around him, planting yourself in his path. “Not happening.”

He glared down at you. “Y/N, I need to close this up. Move.”

You scowled right back. “You’ve been shot.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I have to finish this.”

You refused to budge. “You are not finishing anything. You’re getting the hell out of here, that’s what you’re doing.” 

“Y/N—”

“Guys, not the time,” Colter interceded. “He’s getting off that plane any second now, so what’s the plan?”

“She’s right, man,” Doug added, making both of your gazes snap over at him. “We really need to go.”

Voices suddenly sounded outside and you all glanced towards the window.

“Shit,” you muttered, quickly checking the chamber on your gun. As you were about to head out of the room, a hand grasped gently under your chin and forced your eyes to meet Russell’s. You could see the pleading there but also a stone-cold resignation. “Go with Colter and Doug,” he urged, giving you a brief but strained smile. “I need you to go.” You felt the rough skin of his thumb on your cheek as he moved it tenderly back and forth.

You knew what he was really telling you, what he planned to do, but hell if you weren’t more infuriated with him. You were so sick of the self-sacrificial bullshit. Hadn’t it cost you enough? Cost you both?

You pulled away from him, giving him a glare. “I don’t think you understand,” you said in a tone so cold you were pretty sure you could give the winds in Antarctica a run for their money. “I’m taking Solano in and I am not leaving until I have my suspect alive and in custody.” Russell looked pissed but you couldn’t care less. Better than him being dead in the next two minutes.

You turned to face Colter and Doug so they also got the message. “This case is under Federal jurisdiction now.” Colter glanced between you and his brother who you turned back to face. “I’m bringing him in. Got it?”

Russell went to say something but didn’t get the chance. The sounds of gunfire erupted right outside the room and you all had to duck for cover. 

You secured your handcuffs around Carlos Solano’s wrists that had been forced behind his back once you shoved him into the chair in the room, purposely tightening the metal bracelets past the point of comfort. The man reacted, cursing you out as you smirked up at him. 

Getting to your feet, you focused on the Shaws and Doug. Russell watched you with a glare while Colter waited for you to speak. Doug looked downright terrified. They had helped you to take down Solano’s men who had flown with him — all three of them. Russell aimed for Solano but at the last second, you got in his way and tackled the criminal to the ground. Needless to say, he wasn’t happy with you. Oh well. The feeling was mutual.

Colter placed his hands on his hips. “Alright, so how are we getting him back to the truck? Are we just going to drag him through the woods and hope we don’t come across anybody else he might have coming here? How are we going to work this?”

You slipped your gun back into your holster. “He doesn’t have anyone else coming here and the plan is that you three are going to head back to the truck and get out of here. I’m going to wait for a pickup,” You gestured towards the window with your thumb where the landing strip could be seen. “They’re nearby, waiting for my call, and they won’t take long to get here.” You shook your phone in your hand, indicating you were going to be using it.

Russell glanced around, as if expecting Agents to start popping up out of the woodworks at any second, before his eyes settled back on you. “So you called this in after all?”

You shrugged. “You were going into a fully armed compound to rescue a hostage, a two-man team against a crime lord on the FBI’s Most Wanted list? Yeah, of course, I did.”

He shook his head, chuckling and muttering a curse under his breath. “Of course you did,” he echoed, shooting a look over at his brother. 

Colter’s gaze flickered back to you. “We’ll wait with you until they get here.”

You offered up a small smile. “I appreciate it but not necessary. I’ve got this until they get here and I do the handover.”

“But—”

“Look, you should get Doug out of here.” You inclined your head in the direction of the man who was staring dazedly at the floor. “You need to get him checked out and your brother should get his arm looked at.”

“I’m fine,” Russell interjected.

You ignored him. “I’ll be alright, Colter. Believe it or not, you tend to get experience with this kind of thing once or twice before becoming a Special Agent.” You meant it as a light-hearted reassurance but you could tell that both Shaw brothers were going to be a hard sell. At least Colter’s reasoning was up front and above board.

“I’m sure but I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone. Not with him.” Colter gestured towards Solano who spit in his direction.

“I won’t be for long. But you guys need to get out of here. The Bureau can’t know you were involved in this.” You shot him a meaningful look. “For multiple reasons.”

The younger man looked as if he was going to protest again when you held up a hand. “Colter. You may not like it but you need to do as I’m telling you. If the Bureau finds any of you here…” You could tell that he didn’t care so much about himself but you let your eyes briefly flick in Russell’s direction, who was busy glaring at the man you had bound to the chair. You saw Colter’s expression immediately change and you knew you had succeeded in convincing him to vacate the area as soon as possible.

He nodded his head in assent. “Okay.” He laid a hand on Doug’s shoulder, prompting the man to look up at him, and urged him to start moving to the door.

“Okay? What do you mean okay?” Russell huffed.

Colter held up a hand. “Russell—”

“No.” Russell turned a glare on you. “Not okay. He’s a loose end that needs tying up. He knows who we are now, he came after Doug, and the FBI isn’t going to do shit with him.” You narrowed your eyes in a glare but he continued. “That’s not an insult. It’s the truth and you know it. They’re going to what? Get him to talk, to roll over on someone else he has connections to who’s higher up their food chain, and he gets off scot free? No, not happening on my watch.” 

He took a step forward and so did you, in front of Solano. You drew your gun but held it loosely across your waist, your finger on the trigger, ready and waiting should you need it. Russell stopped cold, his eyes flickering back and forth between you and the weapon in your hand. Colter and Doug were frozen, watching the scene unfold.

“I told you,” you said in the most deadly serious tone you could muster. “I’m taking him in, alive. If you have a problem with that, well…” You flipped the safety on the gun off. “You’ll have to go through me. And I promise you, my aim is a hell of a lot more accurate at close range than it’s ever been.”

Russell didn’t blink, he just kept scowling at you.

“Russ?” Colter called.

“Don’t make me kill you in front of him, Russell,” you murmured so only the two of you would hear. You were serious as a heart attack. No matter how you had felt about him once upon a time, this was important enough for you to make good on your threat if you needed to.

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would and it will be justified by the higher ups as protection of a high-valued target before your body goes cold.” You hated saying the words but it was nothing but the truth that you spoke. You hoped he heard the message underneath your words: walk away, this isn’t worth dying over. “And he’ll be further traumatized,” you inclined your head in Colter’s direction. “Losing his brother right in front of him, just like he lost his dad.” You knew that was a severely low blow but he also needed to hear you. 

As expected, Russell’s jaw clenched and you saw a twitch in the good arm he had, the one that was holding his gun. “Don’t be stupid and do that to him,” you warned. “Walk away.”

That cold look was back in his eyes again. You mentally prepared yourself for what was about to go down. You had hoped he wouldn’t force your hand but then again, Russell Shaw had always been the epitome of stubborn, usually to his own detriment…and yours.   

“Russell?” Colter tried again.

“Russ, come on, man. Let it be for now,” Doug added in, trying to help. “And let’s regroup.”

This time, Russell appeared to hear them both, his gaze breaking from yours momentarily, flickering over Solano behind you, who was laughing and smirking in the former’s direction, clearly enjoying the standoff over him. 

Russell’s eyes met yours again but this time, there was nothing familiar about the green you used to stare into when he’d sway with you on the dance floor to a slow song playing overhead or when you’d both wear matching sated grins and laugh, a pleasant exhaustion overtaking you as he pulled you into his arms in a motel bed. It was almost like staring into a dark void and you couldn’t help but wonder how often that void showed up during war or if the war created it — the old chicken or the egg question. Either way, you knew you’d succeeded in convincing him to leave, but you’d also have to watch yourself. There was no warmth left in those jade-colored orbs when they focused on you. You’d done your work well; you’d crossed a line that you could never go back from.

“Alright,” he capitulated, loud enough that the two men near the doorway heard him. He relaxed his arm and slipped his gun into a pocket in his vest. His face lightened a little and a strained smile worked its way across his face. He glanced back at his brother. “She’s right. We should get Doug out of here.” He turned back to face you, his smile fading. “She’s got this.” He then glanced in Solano’s direction, smirking right back. “I’ll see you soon,” he promised, giving him a finger gun and winking, before his expression became stone once more and he walked away, glaring at you as he did.

You lifted your chin, not reacting in the slightest, until Solano shouted out, “You’ll be seeing me? No, puta, I’ll be seeing you. You’ll never see it coming, you hear me? You’ll never see it co—” You spun a few degrees and pistol-whipped him, causing the jackass to cry out in pain before you turned back to face Doug and the two most important men in your life. “Get going,” you growled out, lifting your phone with your other hand as a subtle threat.

Colter gave you a nod, the concern still there in his dark brown gaze as he led Doug out the door. Russell’s eyes never left you, even when he walked out the door a moment later, following his little brother’s lead. You never looked away even when he was past the threshold. 

You ignored Solano’s yelling threats and kept your eyes on the spot you had last seen the Shaws disappear through a few minutes longer than needed, tense and ready in case Russell decided to double back. Though you highly doubted he’d come at you from the same angle. A part of you was making sure you stayed prepared in case there was an ambush, yes, but another part of you knew your gaze was lingering on the spot because you knew things had now drastically changed between you and Russell forever. He would never forgive your threats and you would never forgive yourself for having to make them. Though that remorse was more related to Colter than his brother. Regardless, when it came to the Shaws now, you were fucked. Not even Dory would want to hear from you, not that she had all that much before, but now it was definitely a no go. And that saddened you tremendously.

Hearing more of Solano’s threats, you recentered your focus on the task at hand and prepared to wait, giving him one more pistol whip for good measure, before you settled in and kept both eyes and ears open for any possible ambush that might come your way before you could finish up here. 

You leaned against the workstation next to the chair, waiting, gun still in hand and your eyes focused on it. You had waited a certain amount of time to allow the boys to get out of the area.

“The soldado was right, you know. They’re not going to hold me,” Solano bragged.

You briefly closed your eyes in annoyance. He had been talking ever since you were left alone with him. He had offered you money to let him go, offered you riches and power that you knew for a fact he had no business offering. He even had the nerve to propose making you one of his new lieutenants, citing your fighting skills and gun handling that he’d briefly witnessed. He knew you would be able to protect him because you had from the asesinos who had killed his brother. He then changed tactics, threatening you, your loved ones, the men who just left…now, he was boasting about how he would walk free and whatever charges were thrown at him wouldn’t stick. You just wished he would shut the hell up already. Needless to say, it had been a long twenty minutes. You now understood why his brother had been the businessman and he was only the muscle willing to do the dirty work. His bargaining skills were for shit, not that it mattered in the scheme of things. No deals were being made today.

“I offer them a little bit of money and they’ll just make the case go away. Just like that.”

You checked your watch. Twenty two minutes now. That was good enough. You slowly got to your feet and moved past him to look out the window. You had purposely moved his chair out of the sight of the glass, in case Russell got any ideas.

“That’s how it works here in America. Everybody knows that. If the criminals have money and power, they don’t stay in jail.”

You ignored him, glancing around to see if there was any movement outside. You didn’t see any. 

“They won’t keep me locked up. They weren’t able to in my home country. What makes you think they’ll be able to here? Where corruption is ripe and anyone can be bought? And then I’ll be coming for you and for your friends. You will wish for death long before I am through with you.”

You made your way to another window, lifting the curtain and looking around. Still nothing.

“There’s no point in bringing me to jail. It will never hold me.”

You lowered the curtain and squared your shoulders, turning to face his direction. You focused on him, staring right into his eyes. “You know, I think you’re right.”

Solano seemed pleasantly surprised for a moment, thinking you were finally stupid enough to take one of his offers, before his eyes narrowed with realization. “No, wait—”

You quickly lifted your gun and squeezed off a round. His head snapped back from the force and the space behind him was spattered with red among other things. One glance confirmed your aim had been accurate; he was dead. Right through the eye. What you’d said to Russell earlier hadn’t been an exaggeration; you were much more accurate at close range than you’d ever been.

You slipped a pair of gloves on that you pulled from your pants pocket and immediately started unzipping the small compartments on the side of your vest where you usually kept extra ammo in a raid, pulling out small white bottles that weren’t sporting any labels. You began to squirt the liquid from inside them all around the room, dousing Solano’s body with a healthy amount.

You continued into the house, having quite a few bottles of lighter fluid to empty out in specific areas that would help achieve your goal. Arson wasn’t your preferred route but it did get rid of pesky little things like hair and DNA, and what it didn’t, it contaminated which would make it harder for not only law enforcement but the justice system to work with. Though you weren’t too worried about either looking at this particular house fire too closely.

You didn’t bother collecting any bullet casings, knowing that your gun and the ones you’d given Colter to use would be untraceable even if they somehow managed to get a hold of any of the weapons (which they wouldn’t). And Russell’s gun…you figured he had that handled. The only thing you did collect were your handcuffs. 

You also didn’t bother staging anything for the scene. There was already enough evidence that pointed to the theory that Solano’s own men had turned on him and a gunfight ensued, resulting in the multiple dead bodies. While an arson specialist would most likely be able to tell that an accelerant had been used, there was no way for them to confirm just who had been present for this battle and who had gotten away. Satellite imagery would be shoddy at best due to the foliage cover (and eventual smoke) but still, you planned to set the fire and make your getaway out the back, crossing over the landing strip so if they went back to look for any heat signatures after the fire started, it would be one person leaving the scene alive, the person they would assume had started the blaze. There were no nearby neighbors to immediately call first responders but that didn’t mean smoke wouldn’t be seen from the sky from miles away or that a fiery orange blaze in the distance wouldn’t be noticed by residents of another vacation home or cars traveling the backroads in the area. Since you planned to go into the deep woods and take the long roundabout route back to your car, you weren’t too worried about your path being followed.

Once you had completed all of your tasks, you used the fireplace to help, moving the grate out of the way, starting a fire, and then knocking a fiery log onto the wooden flooring. You used a lighter to set flammable materials that you could find to add to the flames. Only when the room was nearly engulfed did you finally slip a beanie from your pocket, cover your head fully, and make your way out of the house. Once at the landing strip, you ducked under the plane, making sure you couldn’t be seen from above. 

You watched as the flames consumed the house. Once the smoke was sufficient, flames were ragings out of the windows, and the sound of breaking glass could be heard, you knew it was time for you to vacate the vicinity before the sirens started up. It was fortunate that most people were asleep at this hour but the sun was due to come up not too long from now and you had a long trek ahead of you, so you needed to get moving.

You kept your head down and made your way into the woods surrounding the property line. 

The sun was breaching the horizon and quickly warming the sky by the time you made it back to your car. You were relieved that Colter’s truck was gone and you needed to quickly make tracks as well. Sirens had started up an hour ago and you needed to get the hell out of Dodge before the cops were all over these roads. You tossed your weapons and vest into the trunk and got in the car. You slipped your beanie off your head, tossing it onto the seat next to you, and started the engine.

Just as you had expected, cops were everywhere but thankfully, you had timed it just right and gotten out before they could block all of the mountain roads. Once you were back in town a few hours later and a certain distance away, you pulled a phone out of your glove compartment you kept there for emergencies and turned it on. You pressed a button and it immediately dialed the number programmed — the only number you had saved on this device. 

It rang once before the same voice from yesterday picked up. “Is it done?”

“We’re clear,” you confirmed. “It’s been handled.”

“Shaw?”

Your jaw clenched. You knew that despite how you and Russell had left things earlier, you would do whatever it took to keep him breathing. “He’s a soldier. He follows orders.”

“He wasn’t so willing to follow orders in this situation.”

“You know what they’re taught. Leave no man behind. He got his man so he’ll be fine. Things can go back to how they were. He’s not going to be an issue and he’s clean, just like you wanted.”

And then you were asked the one question you didn’t want to hear. “And the brother? What’s your assessment?”

The knuckles of your free hand gripped your steering wheel so tightly that you could see how white your skin turned from the pressure. “Non-issue. He has no interest in you.”

“He seemed interested yesterday.”

You forced yourself to remain calm and nonchalant. “He’s paid to be nosy when someone goes missing so he can get them found. He found who he was looking for, he was able to keep the promise to the guy’s wife — it’s over for him. The case is closed, it’s as simple as that for him. He’s no threat.”

You waited to hear a response, holding your breath and your hand gripping the wheel even tighter, your body tensed. This would be what decided your fate. Either you would be allowed to go on as before or you’d be going on a mission up against one of the top private security contractor firms in the world which wouldn’t end well for you. But you’d take out whoever you could with you before you were killed.

Another moment passed before the voice replied, “Understood.”

Your body relaxed slightly and your shoulders sunk in relief. Colter was safe. Russell was safe…for now. And you didn’t have to go all Rambo Kamikaze on anyone. Win-win all around.

“I’ll let the higher ups know the situation has been contained. Good work. We’ll be in touch.”

Without waiting for a response from you, the call disconnected. You quickly shut the phone off and tossed it back into its original spot. You let out a deep breath and the exhaustion from the past twelve hours immediately overtook your body. Deciding that returning to your place was not an option for you right now, you headed to another part of town, parked your car on the street some blocks away to the nearest motel, and using a baseball cap to cover your hair along with sunglasses, you hoofed it and then booked a room, paying cash and using a fake name. Once you set up everything you needed to in your quarters, you slipped onto the mattress and got some much needed rest, keeping your gun under your pillow within reach should you need it.

You pulled up to Colter’s trailer, watching as he stepped outside to greet you. You put your car in park, took a deep breath, and got out. You offered Colter a small smile. “Hey.”

He returned it. “Hey.”

You had been surprised when Colter called you a few days later to let you know he was still in town for a bit and invited you to drop by for a beer. Not surprised that he was still around (you already knew that) but surprised that he even wanted to speak to you. Perhaps Russell hadn’t told him what you’d threatened back in the mountains.

You took the beer he offered to you and followed him over to the firepit, taking a seat on one of the coolers. He sat nearby and held up his bottle in a toast. You mirrored him and then you both took a sip. You nearly sighed in satisfaction as the carbonated beverage slid down your throat. You enjoyed the taste and checked the label. “Mmm, home brew…not bad. You got something you want to tell me? Planning on opening some sort of brewery outfit anytime soon?” You were teasing but if Colter really was thinking of doing something else — anything else — instead of his current job, you’d fully support it.

“Not me.” Disappointment flared in your chest, your hope dashed. “Russ was actually the one who made it. I had some left over from the other night.”

The beer suddenly began to sour in your stomach. Well, you supposed it was good that Russell was starting to think of the future, the most important part of that being that there would be one. It still burned a bit, though.

You decided to change the subject so you wouldn’t have to think about that right then. “So, your guy is back home safe?”

Colter nodded. “Dropped him off myself.” Something else you already knew but you had to keep up appearances.

You nodded, biting your lip and staring into the flames. “And your brother?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Colter’s jaw tense for a moment. “Gone.” Though you had an idea that was the case, Colter’s confirmation still stung, like someone poking a finger into an old wound after ripping the scar tissue away. But what else had you expected? This was Russell Shaw you two were talking about after all.

You snorted and shook your head, taking another swig of beer. “Of course he is.”

He turned to look at you. “You know, you never told me what happened between you two.”

You shrugged a shoulder. “Not worth going into, trust me.”

Thankfully, Colter left it alone and he rolled with it when you brought up a different topic instead. 

“So, how much longer are you here for?”

“Teddi and Velma are working on that right now actually. Hopefully, something pops up soon.” He took another sip of beer, turning to gaze at the flames as well.

“It will.” Fortunately for him and sadly for others, someone would always go missing.

“How about you? Are they sending you somewhere for a new case or are they going to let you stay local for a bit? If it’s the latter, maybe you could get a dog for that place of yours?”

You smirked and ran your thumb down the smooth glass of the brown bottle in your hand. Colter kept teasing you about the residence you maintained nearby considering you were never really there most of the time. He’d then extoll the virtues of living on the open road, not having roots put down anywhere that would grow into expectations, and the unrestrained thrill of it all. The first time you’d had that conversation, you knew then that the desire to keep moving and stay unburdened must be a male Shaw thing. Dory seemed happy where she had settled and you — you wanted a home base. Some place you could come back to where you were still able to connect to yourself again, no matter how lost at sea you might be at times, no matter how much you felt as if every single piece of you was floating away on the wind until only a monster was left standing there, staring back at you in the rearview mirror of your car.

“Right now, I have a few things I need to close up,” you lied. “Then I’ll probably get sent out in the field again to work some cases.” You hated lying to him but you had no choice. His safety came first. As much as you had hated Russell for a time, you could now appreciate the difficult position he was in. Though, he had chosen to be put there, and now, so had you. 

You watched Colter nod, accepting your answer. “I still think a German Shepherd would be a great choice for you,” he teased. “You know, a big dog, trainable, would make a good guard dog. You could take it with you, chase suspects down together...”

“Oh yeah, I could see it now,” you played along. “I’d have to sneak him into hotel rooms, make sure he doesn’t take a shit on the rug… Then we’d go on the job and I could introduce him to everyone, ‘I’m Special Agent Y/L/N but you can call me Turner and this is my partner Hooch.’”

Colter winced. “No, no. You have to give him a name that will strike fear into the hearts of the criminals you track down. Like General or Commando or Killer. Killer! Now that’s a good name. That will make anyone think twice about running from a dog with that name.”

This time, you were the one who winced though you hid it well. Instead, you forced out a laugh. “I am not getting a huge dog named Killer and bringing him to work with me.”

He grinned. “That’s a shame. I would have loved to have seen the look on your face when the dog would sit in the front seat.”

“There would be no front seat sitting. Back seat only.”

“Like a criminal who he just helped you to arrest? That’s cold, even for you.”

“I am so glad that you have this imaginary dog of mine’s back.”

He snickered and took a drink, looking back at the flames. Your smile slowly faded as you did the same. You both sat there, drinking in a companionable silence for a bit.

Eventually, your eyes flickered over towards him. “I need you to promise me something.”

His brows drew together questioningly when he met your gaze.

“Horizon…” You noticed him tense slightly at the mention. “No more.” When you saw the confusion in his expression, you elaborated. “No more digging, no more Reenie asking her contacts about them, no more mention of them period. You got the guy you were looking for. Now, put it to bed and forget that you ever knew they existed.”

His confusion increased. “I did put it to bed the second I dropped Doug off at his door and saw him hug his wife.”

You gave him a look. “Col, I need you to promise me,” you softly entreated. 

His brows arched slightly at the use of the nickname; you didn’t use it often and if you were, then he knew you meant business. He also knew what you were telling him without explicitly saying it; Horizon was dangerous and they were better left alone. It would be better for him to get a case of sudden amnesia about anything related to the organization.

He watched you for a moment before giving you a nod. “As long as nobody else goes missing like Doug did and as long as Russ is okay, they’re forgotten.”

You knew that was the best you were going to get from him and you leaned forward slightly. “And if anything happens to Russ, I’ll be right there with you, knocking on their front door,” you promised. And you would be; no question about it.

The corner of his lips tipped up in the beginning of a smile and after a moment, you couldn’t help but return it. 

The coffee shop you were in was decently quiet considering it was around 8:55 in the morning and most people were making their last minute dashes for caffeine before the working day began. You sat near the window, facing the entrance so you could keep an eye on who came in and out. You had ordered your usual, a soy vanilla latte, and you carefully sipped at the hot liquid. You scanned your phone for the day’s headlines, looking for any updates on the mysterious house fire that started in the mountains a few nights ago.  

You knew you wouldn’t find any and sure enough, you didn’t. Someone was working overtime to squash the case from up above, just like you knew they would. You also knew that some local law enforcement officials didn’t buy the criminals-turning-on-their-boss theory and they actually thought the scene looked like a professional hit. Exactly what you figured would happen when accelerants had been found to be used at the scene. As much as you were sure the cops were looking to sink their teeth into something exciting to happen in those parts in however long, the bottom line was the case would get dropped and no one was going to care what happened to a violent criminal like Carlos Solano. The FBI would actually be relieved to remove one more name from their list, one more file from their desks. One more dangerous bad guy removed from the world that threatened American citizens as well as national security. No one was going to miss the murderous bastard.

You powered down your screen and placed your phone on the table, turning to glance out the window. That was when you saw him. Well, the reflection of him. 

You watched as he walked towards you, still dressed in a ratty pair of jeans and old boots, wearing another t-shirt with a different musician on it while sporting an open button-up over it, and donning that old military style jacket. His eyes were intent on you and you had to wonder how he had gotten in without you seeing him. The answer was in the reflection of someone walking past him to get to the bathrooms in the rear of the cafe. There was no exit located near there, you knew that because this was a local spot of yours, so how did he… Shit.

Even though you watched him in the glass and he watched you back, you didn’t give anything away to alert him that you knew he was there. You started calculating in your head how many people stood in between you and the front door (your only exit at this point), how much force you would have to use to catch him off guard and knock him to the ground so you could make your escape, and how fast you would have to run to your car. You even had a moment to debate drawing your gun and your badge, and making a scene to get yourself out of this mess. But all of that proved to be for naught when he came to a stop near you and announced his presence by asking, “This seat taken?”

You slowly turned to face him, arching an inquisitive brow, but you eventually shook your head. His lips twitched into the beginning of a smirk and he took the seat across from you. His eyes were a lot lighter than they were the other day as they took you in. “Looking good, Y/N. Like always.”

Your eyes narrowed. “Really?”

He shrugged and reached for your coffee, taking the lid off. You hated it when he did this, the whole sharing coffee thing; now you would need to order another one…well, depending on how this impromptu meeting went. “What, I can’t tell my girl that she looks good?” He took a sip and made a face. “How do you still drink this crap? It tastes like foam mixed with shit.”

“And free garbage coffee from the lobby of the latest scuzzy motel you’re staying in doesn’t?”

“Hey, don’t knock it. They have real nice machines now and it tastes the way coffee should. Not like this bullshit.”

You watched as he grabbed a spoon, added some sugar, and began stirring the crap out of what had once been your perfect latte. You thought over what he’d said before. “I’m not your girl, Russell.” His eyes met yours. “I haven’t been for some time now.”

He finished stirring and removed the spoon, lifting the glass to take a sip. “You’ll always be my girl.”

You snorted and lifted a finger in the air to signal to the barista that you wanted another coffee. The kid gave you a nod and turned to make it. “Is that what you tell yourself when you’re hooking up with cheerleaders-turned-dental-hygienists in hot tubs?”

Russell pressed his lips together and looked appropriately chastised, not even bothering to deny it. “Colter told you. I should’ve known he would mention it. You two were always close like that.”   

You didn’t confirm or deny that. There was no point in mentioning that Colter hadn’t been the one to tell you, not intentionally anyway. Instead, you leaned forward in your chair. “What do you want, Russell?”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?” You snapped. You had been on edge, thinking he was here to either kill you or threaten you. Then him hitting on you and making that asinine and incredibly presumptuous statement bothered you more than you cared to admit. Not to mention he pissed you off when he took the latte you’d decided to treat yourself with after a few difficult days (without even asking you might add), knowing how that had irked you anytime he did it when you were dating. It was like the man was begging you to put a foot in his ass.

Russell glanced around briefly before removing something from inside his jacket. It was a folded up newspaper and he slapped it down in front of you. A picture of a burnt out structure stared back up at you with the headline reading above it “House Fire Claims 8 Lives, Sheriff Confirms Arson”. Your eyes met his and in that moment, you knew that he knew.

You refused to give it away just like that, though. If he wanted the truth, he’d have to work for it. He wasn’t getting anything for free, not from you, not anymore. You gave him a smirk. “Is this your way of telling me that you’ve finally learned to read, Russ? I’m impressed, really.”

Instead of being insulted, his eyes widened slightly. “You called me Russ.”

You sat back in your chair, pushing the newspaper away from you and prying eyes, waiting for the barista making his way over to you to deliver your coffee. “Slip of the tongue. Won’t happen again.” You smiled at the young kid in thanks when he placed the drink down in front of you and promptly slid your glass out of Russell’s reach. He saw it and immediately worked to smother a smile as the kid walked away.

“So, you got any more interesting tricks I should know about?”

Without any preamble, Russell said, “Solano’s dead,” the exact second you took a sip of your new coffee. If he was expecting any reaction to the news, he was in for disappointment when you didn’t give it.

“Yes, I heard. Quite unfortunate.”

“They’re all dead actually. Even that guard we subdued in the beginning.”

You remembered; you’d been the one to kill him after all. Once Russell and Colter got to their feet after knocking the guard out and started moving towards the house, you quietly pulled a knife and slipped the blade into the side of the man’s head. You’d cut his zip ties, removed them and the gag, and then caught up to the guys — all within seconds. You had made sure to move the guard’s body inside later, right before you’d started the fire, trying your best to get rid of any drag marks you’d left on the ground. You were there to clean up the mess, not leave witnesses, even if they had never seen any of you coming.

You nodded. “I know, I heard that, too. Is there a point here somewhere or can I get back to the nice morning I was having before you showed up to steal my coffee?”

Russell was the one to lean forward this time, lowering his voice even further. “You said you were calling in the FBI for a pickup. Who did you really call?”

You could tell he was trying to give you an out, an opportunity to explain that it wasn’t what he was thinking, and maybe you should have lied your ass off…but you no longer wanted to. You knew Russell; he wasn’t going to let this go until he had an answer that he deemed to be the truth. And while you could give him a distorted version of that truth that didn’t land at your feet, a petty part of you wanted him to know. 

“Y/N?” He pressed. “Who did you call?”

You sat back in your chair, considering him for a moment before you spoke. “No one.”

Russell dropped his head, briefly closing his eyes. “Fuck, I was afraid of that.” He glanced up at you, his eyes full of a sadness you hadn’t seen in some time. You knew he wouldn’t be happy if he ever found out the truth, but not to this extent. “I told you to walk away and let me handle it.” His voice was softer, not as gruff as before. You realized then that you’d accomplished what that vindictive side of you had wanted all along, ever since the day he walked away; you’d hurt him and caused him pain. Pain that you could see clear as day lining his face right now. He wasn’t even trying to hide it. And quite frankly, that pain caught you off guard. After all of this time, this is what it took for him to feel even a sliver of what you’d felt back in the day when he’d left you bleeding, your heart torn from your chest and sitting in pieces on the floor he’d just casually walked over to get to the door?

Not really sure what to make of this development or the emotions it caused to rise up within you, you went into pure professional mode and forged ahead. “The three of you didn’t need to be involved.” You could see the pain getting worse and it made you uncomfortable, something prodding at your chest and itching at your skin that you really didn’t care for. “Besides, last I checked, I don’t take orders from you, Shaw.” You threw his last name in there as a last resort to put even more distance there between you.

His eyes flicked from the newspaper to you. “Who do you take orders from then? Something tells me this wasn’t FBI-sanctioned.” 

You surreptitiously glanced around you before leaning in, lowering your voice.“You know, going to your handler’s house during her kid’s birthday party was a pretty bad idea. Ann really didn’t like that.” You watched as Russell’s eyes widened slightly before his face fell, a dreaded realization filling his expression. He had never mentioned her name to you before and he knew Colter hadn’t mentioned her to you either when giving you the rundown of what they knew before meeting up in the mountains. You sat back, tensed and ready for whatever came next. 

His jaw clenched. “How long?” He ground out.

“Long enough.”

You kept your gaze trained on his and you did your best to read him, trying to assess what he might do, now that the pain was all but absent since your revelation. Would he tell you to watch your back and leave? Would he tell you to stay away from Colter for good? It was hard to gauge from the way he was staring at you right then. You could see anger bubbling underneath but you also caught something coming to the surface that strangely looked like remorse. Considering you hadn’t seen that emotion on him too often, it was tough to be sure in your identification of it. And then something flickered in his eyes right then, something so fast you almost didn’t catch it, but you did. Fear that quickly dissolved into determination. You braced yourself for whatever he would say or do; this was it. This would determine your next steps.

Instead, he surprised you once more. He snatched the newspaper up and slipped it back into his jacket, before reaching over and taking your hand in his. “I’m getting you out of here. Now. Let’s go.”

Stunned, you wordlessly got to your feet but then it hit you, you were about to go somewhere alone with him. Not that you couldn’t handle yourself but he had still been Special Ops once upon a time and he killed people for a living…just like you. 

“Russell, I’m not—”

“Yes, you are,” he growled. “I’m getting you as far from here as I can. I’ve got a buddy who has a cabin in upstate New York. It’s got months-long supplies, power and running water, and a small armory. You’ll be safe there until this whole thing blows over.”

You yanked your hand out of his and grabbed your phone and jacket. “I’m plenty safe here. I have no reason to run, so I’m staying. You want to leave? Go right ahead. We both know it’s what you’re best at.” The sadness was back but you looked away from it. Yes, that had been another low blow but it was also well-deserved. You moved past him, refusing to look over your shoulder even once. There was no way he’d do anything out in the open; he wouldn’t dare risk it, especially now.

You slipped into your car, not surprised in the least when Russell got in on the other side before you could even think about locking the doors.

“What are you doing?” You hissed.

“What’s it look like?” He clicked his seatbelt. “I’m staying with you until you agree to my plan to get you someplace safe or you explain how the hell this even happened.” He pulled out the newspaper, holding it up for a moment before tossing it to the floor. You could see the determined set to his jaw and you knew he meant it. 

“Russell,” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “I do not have time for this.” You blew out a quiet breath and turned to face him. “Now I suggest you get out of my car or—”

“You’ll shoot me?” He shot you a look. Yeah, he was still pissed about the threats you’d made a few nights ago. You supposed you couldn’t blame him but you did what you had to do to get him and his brother out of there. You had regrets but they were slim. “We both know you won’t.”

That infuriated you and had you seething. “You think I won’t?”

“I know you won’t. Just like I know that no matter how much you tell yourself that you hate me, you really don’t.”

You scoffed out a laugh in disbelief. “Wow, you really are incredibly delusi—”

“I also know you would never do that to my brother.” Your glare in his direction intensified. “You’ve always been protective of him. Just like me.” A glimmer of a fond smile worked its way onto his bearded face.

Your jaw clenched and you looked away from him, back towards the coffee shop you had just stormed out of, your grip tightening on your steering wheel. It was true; you’d always looked out for Colter in some way ever since you’d gotten to know him through Russell. 

While the relationship between the brothers had been strained for years, it didn’t mean that there hadn’t been a couple of times where Dory hadn’t attempted to get them into a room together to try to fix what had been broken. In one such instance, Russell had brought you along, after shocking you by asking you two nights before to accompany him. The man had spent over a decade in the military, worked Special Ops, and there wasn’t much he was afraid of, if at all. But when you were wrapping leftovers to throw into the fridge and he’d laid a hand on your shoulder, turning you to face him, you’d never seen Russell Shaw look so worried, vulnerable, and damn near terrified in all of the time you’d known him. You’d even felt it when he’d enfolded you into his arms and whispered into your ear that he was due to meet up with his family in the next two days, asking you to come with him. How could you say no to that? You knew of the family’s tragic history and the simmering tensions that still existed between the Shaws who were still alive; Russell had told you everything, even about how his mom had hung him out to dry (though he made excuses for her which made you grind your teeth). And for him to ask you to go, to meet his family, you knew then just how important this was for him. So you went, squeezed his hand in silent support whenever he appeared to need it, and did your best to provide distraction whenever things got a little too tense or heated. Dory didn’t care for you too much; you got the distinct feeling that she wasn’t happy Russell had brought an interloper to a family-only discussion. But Colter…Colter you got along with from the start. 

Colter seemed happier to talk to you than his brother and you could tell that bothered Russell tremendously. He had told you once how much he missed his siblings at times, especially his little brother, and he would never stop hoping to patch things up with them one day. Sure enough, he tried to interject into the conversation a few times with you helping as much as you could, but each time Colter shut him down. It was blatantly obvious that the younger man wanted nothing to do with him and there was definitely some resentment still floating around after years of estrangement. Needless to say, things hadn’t ended well at that dinner and you weren’t surprised that Russell drank a little heavier that night. Nor were you surprised when he grasped at you in the hotel room and pulled you to him, his lips claiming yours as he began unbuttoning your shirt and moving you towards the bed. You knew he was hurting and you let him take solace in you as you whispered loving assurances in his ear. 

After that, Colter surprised you by calling you a couple of months down the road, apologetically asking for your help on a case he had picked up. Though he didn’t know you well, he was in a rough spot and needed a helping hand, particularly a Federal one. You saw the opportunity for what it had been, an opening of a possible door between him and Russell, so you took it. You helped Colter as much as you could without risking being read the riot act by your superior, and you two got to know each other better as you worked together. It happened a few more times and you had even called Colter in to assist on a case of your own that you had snagged. You had gone for beers afterwards each time and you’d tried your best to talk to him, to convince him to give Russell a chance. He hadn’t been interested, was resistant to it even, but he liked you and he was starting to trust you a little more each time. He’d even reluctantly admitted once that he was glad his brother had you, immediately following up with “He better be treating you right, though.” You had simply smiled and assured him that Russell very much was. 

You didn’t mention the odd absences a few times a month (sometimes with little to no warning), the radio silence during these stints, and the avoidance of any penetrating questions upon his return — all of it that had become conditional to your relationship by that point. And Russell certainly wasn’t happy at all to find out you’d been working with Colter once you told him. You both had arguments before like any common couple but nothing like this. You had never seen him so angry and he’d laughed when you told him he had no need to be jealous if that was what he was worried about, you loved him and you were trying to make things better for the both of them, to pave the way for him to be able to make peace with his brother. 

“You just don’t get it.” 

He had shaken his head and glared over at you before he walked out of the room, away from you. From then on, Russell became even more secretive, distant, and cold as ice. Gone was the easy affection, heart to heart talks, and playful banter between you. Gone were the tender touches, gentle kisses, and passionate sex. The love of your life turned into a stranger right before your very eyes. It hadn’t been too long after that when he’d left for good, leaving your heart shattered on your hardwood floor. As time passed, you were surprised he hadn’t just packed up and left in the middle of the night while you were sleeping, without a single word to you and completely ghosting you, since he had been intent on leaving you in his past. It might have been kinder actually compared to the things he’d said to you as a final goodbye before walking away for good. 

So whenever you had dared to think back on it over the last few years, you’d always figured the fight over Colter had contributed in some way to the rapid unraveling of your relationship. Well, that fight and…other things.

“Let’s go somewhere we can talk,” Russell urged, breaking you out of your thoughts. “Come on, Y/N, you owe me that at least.”

You turned the most menacing glare on him that was possible for you to give someone. “I don’t owe you shit,” you bit out. How dare he say that? To you of all people?  

His jaw tightened and after a moment, he agreed with a soft nod. “Fair enough.” 

You broke away from his intent gaze a minute later, your decision made as you turned the car on. “You know what? If this will get you out of my life for good this time, then fine. Let’s talk. And don’t be so sure I won’t shoot you afterwards should you continue to piss me off. You’re right, I do care about Colter,” You scowled over at him. “But not that deeply.”

Russell matched your scowl but wisely kept quiet as you backed your car out of your parking spot. You felt an immediate surge of guilt for having said that about his younger brother. You did care about Colter, more than you would ever admit to anyone, even your ex. There was nothing remotely romantic between you two; there never had been and there never would be. But Russell had been right; you were protective of him. Not only because he was a good man but he also reminded you of someone you had lost long ago. You would bend over backwards to keep him safe (as safe as you could given his chosen career), even if it meant putting yourself in harm’s way. He had truly become like a brother to you. 

But you had also meant what you said just now. If Russell continued to irritate you, there was no way he was leaving this time without you putting a bullet in him. Right in his ass before the door could hit it when he turned his back on you for the last time. That or a good old fashioned ass kicking in the form of your right hook. After everything he’d done, he deserved nothing less.  

You pulled up to a local motel that you had booked a room at the last few days, in case you needed to close up shop and haul ass out of town quickly. It wasn’t the same establishment you had gone to the morning of the fire and you still had your place thirty minutes away, but you had learned it was always best to prepare for any eventuality. Especially after a job needing to be done so close to home. You had seen what happened with Doug; who was to say Horizon wouldn’t leave you out to dry, too, should the heat from the fire get a little too close?

You got out and headed over to the door, unlocking it and stepping inside, not looking back to see if Russell was following you. Neither of you had spoken on the ride over (which was probably for the best) and you didn’t glance at him once. Instead, you had done your damndest to tamp down the fury you felt racing through your veins as more and more memories played out in your mind. Now that Russell had a vague idea of the truth of what you had been doing all of this time, everything you had ever wanted to say to him seemed to be trying to rush to the surface as well as all of the pain you had endured.

You slipped your suit jacket off and tossed it onto the bedspread. You heard the door shut behind you and you spun around, seeing Russell’s eyes scanning the room, stopping on the bed, and then lifting to you. You scoffed and unbuttoned the sleeves of your blouse, rolling them up to your forearms. “Not happening so don’t even think about it,” you hissed.

“Wasn’t going there.”

You didn’t believe him. “Right.” You took a seat at the table and impatiently gestured to the seat across from you. “Well?”

He sat down and without missing a beat, dove right in. “How the hell did this even happen, Y/N?”

“Really? That’s what you’re starting out with?”

Russell shot you a look.

You let out an aggravated sigh and sat back in your chair, crossing your legs and getting comfortable. “I was recruited, not too long after you left.”

His jaw dropped. “They approached you?”

Nodding, your jaw tightened thinking back to that time. It wasn’t a memory you liked revisiting. You were at your lowest, Russell having just walked out like the four and a half years you’d spent together hadn’t meant a damn thing to him. He had been it for you. You had put everything you had into the relationship, which proved to be a difficult balancing act sometimes between your career at the Bureau and Russell’s job that he wouldn’t tell you too much about. You both had overcome so much together…all for him to tell you that he simply didn’t love you anymore, give you a shitty apology, and walk right out the door years later. Like you had simply been an amusing distraction, nothing more. Like you had merely been a stopping point in his journey and now he was bored and moving on. The breakup would’ve hurt regardless but the cold detached manner he’d spoken to you with caused more pain than you would have ever been willing to admit. It was a good thing you had already become a Special Agent by then, not stuck to any one location or field office, given how often you were hungover for some weeks there. You had attempted to track him down (which hadn’t been easy) to try to talk to him, to make him see reason; you didn’t believe that he had stopped loving you just like that. But when you had finally located him, he had been holed up in a dingy motel, similar to this one, but he wasn’t alone. That had hurt beyond words and it had taken everything for you not to say anything, not to let him see you, and turn back around, heading home with your tail between your legs and your head hanging in heartbroken defeat. 

None of it made sense to you. How had your life changed so drastically in a single day? Perhaps you had never really known Russell Shaw. Perhaps you only saw what he wanted you to see. But when you replayed the last few weeks of your relationship, even the fight over Colter, something still wasn’t jiving. So you buried yourself in work during the day and as deep into the bottle as you could during the late nights. Until they showed up.

“And you said yes?” He asked in disbelief.

Your eyes flicked to Russell, narrowing. “Why not? You did.”

He pressed his lips together. You had him there and he knew it. “That was different.”

“How?” You snapped. “Exactly how is that different, Russell?”

“I joined them long before you and I met.” Yeah, you knew that now. You knew everything he hadn’t told you the time you’d been together, minus the actual details of the off the books missions he went on. You now knew why Doug had never told Tracy anything either. Not only were they not allowed to, but It was safer that way.

“Well, bully for you, Shaw. You’ve got a few years on me at being a black ops agent and you’ve racked up a few more bodies than I have. Told way more lies, too. Congrats. Do we get you a cake or…?”

He leaned forward, covering your hand with his. “Stop. Just…talk to me,” he pleaded gently.

You hated it when he did that because you hated that it still affected you on some deep level. You rolled your eyes and moved your hand from underneath his, placing it in your lap. “They approached me about six months out from when you left.”

“Who approached you?”

Yeah, you weren’t giving him that. If you did, you knew he’d be on their doorstep in a second and that you couldn’t have. Not after you had just cleaned up the Solano mess and smoothed things over. “Doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.” You knew that, could see it in his expression, but too bad. You both were in it now, had signed NDA’s, and details like that were meant to stay confidential anyway. 

“Someone did and that’s all you're getting.” You gave him a meaningful look. “Regardless, they offered me a job and I took it.”

You watched as Russell’s features tightened. “And the FBI thing?”

“Still active, though I’m now kept more as an ear to the ground, providing information and cleanup when need be.” You noticed a slight wince cross across his face. “They’re the ones I answer to and they’ve chosen to keep me there for the time being. I’m more effective in that setup.” Those words from your handler still burned you but over time, you had been able to adapt and utilize their refusal to fully bring you in to your advantage.

“And Solano and his men? Were they cleanup?”

You didn’t break away from his penetrating gaze and gave it to him straight. “You and Doug made quite a mess of things. So, yes, I was called in to clean it up.” He briefly closed his eyes in the same pain you had seen earlier, though you couldn’t fathom why. It had been nearly three years since he’d last professed to give a shit about you. Why would this even affect him? “Horizon wanted you kept clean and Doug was on his own. Then you idiotically showed up at Ann’s residence, not only tipping them off to the fact that you were sniffing around where you shouldn’t have been but then you allowed Colter to threaten them. You had to know that was going to ruffle quite a few feathers and put a target on your backs.”

His jaw clenched again and that dark void was back in his gaze. His fingers twitched near his phone and you knew he was itching to call his brother to check on him. “And they sent you to clean that up, too?”

You slowly shook your head. “No.” If they had, you wouldn’t be sitting here right now. Most likely, you’d be dead while Colter and Russell would hopefully be on the run or have gone into hiding. “Only to assess what threats you both posed to the organization.”

“And what was your assessment?” He watched you carefully. In this moment, you weren’t former lovers. You were two people with lethal skills and training, willing to do whatever it took to keep your loved ones safe, even from each other. 

You never broke away from his gaze, watching him back just as carefully. “What do you think?”

He stayed quiet for a moment, looking pensive and most likely turning your words over in his mind. You weren’t going to say it but knowing that gnawing feeling of constantly worrying about someone you cared deeply about, you wanted to make sure you both were on the same page of this topic. “And, Russell, if they had sent me for that, I never would.” His gaze immediately met yours. “Ever,” you promised. 

His eyes roamed over your face, most likely assessing if you were bullshitting him or telling the truth. Obviously having decided on the latter, after a minute or so, he gave you a nod. “How do you know they accepted your assessment, though? There’s no way they don’t know about you and Colter, you and me…”

This time, your jaw was the one clenching. Yeah, you were made aware of that fact when you had been approached for recruitment. That was how they knew about you, your career as a Federal agent, and how you had been involved with Russell once upon a time. When you found out more about Horizon from the inside, it didn’t surprise you one bit how deeply they dove into the background of their candidates or the amount of information they gathered on them. You’d even helped put together a few files yourself, without fully knowing what unit the candidates were being considered for of course. They kept a close watch on their assets and that was putting it lightly. 

So when you got involved with Russell, completely oblivious to what you were really getting into, Horizon had already scoped you out as well as Colter, Dory, their mother, Bobby, Reenie, Teddi, Velma — everyone. Even Colter’s on-again/off-again, Billie, and the mysterious circumstances of the death of the boys’ father. They knew it all. Horizon didn’t like surprises and you supposed you couldn’t blame them considering their line of work, but it also meant that you and everyone you cared about needed to be extra careful. 

It was one of the many reasons you couldn’t completely forgive Russell, though you now understood why he’d walked out when he did. Things had unraveled so badly between you that you’d started quietly digging into Horizon, not trusting what Russell had told you prior. Back then, you thought you’d find only what Russell had claimed: private security, perhaps a couple of Special Ops situations where an American hostage was retrieved in another country, or worse: he was lying to you and having an affair. Now, you knew he had told you the truth — a very scrubbed, limited version of the truth that omitted most of what he really did for the outfit. You remembered what he’d told you about a week and a half before he left. 

“You need to stop digging.” 

You looked upon him with confusion. One minute, you had been having a very tense and silent dinner where you could only hear forks scraping against the plates every so often, and the next, Russell was glaring over at you, speaking cryptically. “What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. You need to stop looking into Horizon and leave it alone. I mean it, Y/N. Let it be.” His eyes bored into you with warning before he got up from the table and took his plate into the kitchen, leaving you to finish your meal alone.    

Normally, you wouldn’t have listened, determined to get to the bottom of Russell’s mysterious employer, but considering how your relationship was hanging by a thread at that point, you did. Despite the warning bells going off in your head, you did as exactly as he said: you let it be. 

You suddenly remembered Russell’s question to you. “You’re still breathing, aren’t you?”

Russell affected a slow nod, thinking it over. “And Colter?”

“I told them he’s no threat,” you murmured. “I talked to him, told him to forget they exist. He agreed as long as you were safe.”

For the first time since this conversation started, you could see Russell start to relax a bit, relief saturating his features. Even a small smile started to light up the tension in his face. While you could understand the feeling, share it even, something about it had you on your feet, walking over to the small refrigerator and pulling out a bottle of water from the six pack you had tossed in there when you booked the room. You held one up in an offer but Russell shook his head. 

“I’m good.”

You shrugged, unsurprised, and twisted off the cap, taking a drink. It made sense that he was still being cautious. Before you knew it, though, he was standing in front of you, that pleading yet determined look in his eyes again. 

“I want to get you out.”

You snorted. “There is no getting out, Russell. Not for me, anyway. Not until they’re done with me.”

He took a step closer and gently took the water bottle from you, placing it on the counter, and grasped your chin, forcing you to look up at him. “There’s always an exit strategy,” he murmured. “I never wanted this for you, Y/N. I only ever wanted to keep you safe. That’s why I left.”

Yeah, you knew that now, too. “I know that now. Why you wouldn’t tell me certain things about your job, but, Jesus, Russell. Did you really think they didn’t already know about me and who I was to you? Colter even? Dory? Your mom?”

He let out a deep sigh and hung his head, letting your chin go. “I know. I… It was a good fit for me at the time, the money was good — that’s why I hooked Doug up with them. But seeing how they hung him out to dry at the first opportunity and now you,” He tenderly ran his thumb along your cheek. “I’m seriously starting to rethink that decision.”

You pulled away from him. “It doesn’t matter. You can’t unring that bell.” You made your way back over to the bed and yanked your duffel bag from underneath it. You unzipped it and began rooting through it to make sure you had everything you needed for a quick getaway. You didn’t think you needed to go anywhere but now this location was blown for you since you had made the decision to let Russell know about it. You had already triple checked your stash when you left it here upon check-in but you needed something to focus on instead of the clear regret in Russell’s face. “And as for me, I made my decision.” You pulled out a gun from a secret compartment, checked the clip to make sure it was full, and slipped it back inside. “I’m good with it. I’ve used it fully to my advantage and I make good money, more than I was ever going to make at the Bureau, even if they fast-tracked me to Deputy Director. Solano was on our Most Wanted List for twenty six days and I took him out in one. Had he possibly gone free, there’s no telling what he would have done, who he would have hurt besides Doug.” You knew exactly what he would have done and who he would have hurt; he’d told you in explicit detail. You didn’t go into it but Russell wasn’t stupid (not when it came to things like this anyway). He most likely knew as well. He’d wanted to close up Solano as a loose end himself after all. “That kind of cleanup I can more than live with.”

Russell carefully approached, his eyes on the second gun you had pulled out and were checking. “I get that and I more than appreciate what you did with Solano. For Doug, for Colter and me.” Once you slipped the weapon back into its pocket, he laid a hand on your shoulder, prompting you to look over at him. “You can’t tell me, though, that this is what you want for your endgame. Not really.”

You shook your head in disbelief. “I don’t have an endgame, Russell. Maybe I did once but you took that the second you walked out the door, acting like everything we’d gone through meant nothing to you, like I meant nothing to you.” 

There was that remorse again and you despised it. “I’m sorry, I…handled that badly,” he admitted.

“Handled it badly?” You laughed in disbelief. You shirked his hand off of you and moved to the night table, yanking the drawer open to rip out the bible sitting in there. You opened it to the area you had cut out to hold emergency cash and cards, just like Russell had taught you once upon a time. “You told me I’d been nothing to you but a fling for the past four years, that you might have loved me once but you didn’t anymore. That I was…how did you put it? A fun distraction.” You slammed the bible shut and tossed it back into the drawer before closing it. You hurried back over to the bag, throwing the funds inside another secret compartment, more than done with this conversation.

“You’re right, I fucked up. I only said those things to—”

“Cut the cord, yeah, I know. Still doesn’t make it right,” you muttered, roughly zipping the duffel back up. 

“I wanted you to be safe. You were digging into them, even after I told you not to! And worse, you were pulling Colter into it!”

That quickly got your attention and you spun on your heel, jabbing a finger in the air at him. “Don’t you fucking dare lay Colter at my feet. Especially after what you just pulled last week. It wasn’t me hauling him into Doug’s case! Not to mention, way before you met me, the minute you took that job, you put everyone you knew on their radar and you know it! So don’t you fucking dare. I have been doing everything I can to make sure Colter is safe and doesn’t pull their attention, poring over every case he takes in the background to ensure they’re not involved or have any vested interests that are. Hell, I even just used a contact of mine to float a case over to Teddi and Velma to get him out of town and far away from here to continue keeping him safe. Me, Russell! Me! And what did you do to keep him safe? You blow back into town and not only put him even more on their radar, you deliver him right to their goddamn doorstep! So don’t you dare even try to put that on me,” you finished in a snarl. 

Shame lurked at the corners of his eyes and you scoffed in disgust, whirling around to grab your jacket from the bed before picking up the duffel bag and slinging the handle over your shoulder. “So glad we had this talk,” you sniped. “Now go have fun with the cheerleading dental hygienist or Reenie,” You could see more shame looking back at you. Unlike the hot tub conquest, Colter had actually told you about that one. You could tell how much it was bothering him and you knew he wouldn’t have mentioned it otherwise, knowing it wasn’t something you really wanted to hear. “Or that bartender you holed up with three weeks after you walked out on me,” Now you could see surprise; you could care less. “Or whoever you want. But me? I’m done. Have a nice life, Russell Shaw, and try not to get killed before you get out to start your little brewery operation. Oh, and try to manage not to get your brother or me killed in the process, yeah? Thanks ever so much. See ya.” 

You were walking towards the door when you were grabbed and whipped around. Before you could react, Russell was on you, his mouth covering yours and his hands gripping your face. “I love you,” he breathed against your lips after breaking away to let you catch your breath. “I’m sorry I said what I did back then but it wasn’t the truth. It took everything I had to walk away but as long as you were safe, that was all that mattered to me. I fucked up and I am sorry. I never stopped loving you, Y/N. Not ever.” 

He wiped at your cheeks and you hadn’t even realized you’d been crying. Shit. Well, that was embarrassing. Even more embarrassing was how much you wanted to believe him. You knew he was telling the truth about why he walked away, how he wanted to keep you safe, but it obviously hadn’t been as difficult for him to move on as it had been for you. “No, you don’t,” you choked out. “If that were true, you would have never walked out that door.” Your voice wobbled on those last few words and you hated it, hated how vulnerable you were being to him right now.

You wiped at your own cheeks and turned around, ignoring the pleading you saw once again in his eyes. 

“Y/N, please,” he ground out.

You kept moving towards the door. As you laid your hand on the door handle to turn it, you were whipped around one more time and he was kissing you yet again, your back pressed up against the wood. Except this time, you finally threw in the towel and gave in to what your damaged heart had been wanting all of this time. You buried your fingers in his hair and kissed him back just as passionately, not caring that more tears rolled down your cheeks as you did. He yanked the duffel bag from you and let it fall into a heap on the floor before lifting you up and turning to carry you over to the bed. You knew this was going to hurt like hell later but you refused to put a stop to it. You’d find a way to numb the pain when it ripped you open a second time, just like you always had. 

The only thought running through your mind as he laid you down and ripped your blouse open, sending buttons flying everywhere, was that you had been right. You knew the bastard had been lying earlier when you’d caught him looking between you and the bed. But right then as he lifted away from you to quickly shed his top layers and then dove back down to kiss you again and melt into you, your fingers greedily relearning every inch of his bare skin, you couldn’t care less.   

You reached your hand over, tenderly running a finger along the edges of the bandage on Russell’s arm. “Does it hurt?” You murmured.

“A little.” He turned his head to smile down at you. “More than worth it, though.”

You rolled your eyes, ignoring his chuckle at you gently pushing his head away, and turned onto your back. Russell embraced you with his other arm, pulling you into him. You rested your ear against his bare chest, hearing his steady heartbeat and settling your gaze on the ceiling above you. He pressed a kiss to your head, letting his lips linger against your hair, as his thumb rubbed your shoulder back and forth.

After a few minutes of content silence between you, you put voice to the question resounding in your mind. “How did we get here, Russell?”

“Well, you drove us over and then we—”

You softly swatted his chest, making him laugh and hearing the sound reverberate underneath your ear. “You know what I mean.”

“I wish I knew the best way to answer that, “ he whispered to you. You could hear the genuine regret in his tone and it made you start thinking about when you both would have to leave this motel room, and go back to the separate lives you had been living. Memories of lazy mornings like this back when you had been together, of you listening to his voice in your ear and knowing you were safe and loved, replayed in your mind on a loop. You would never admit it to him but you missed this, missed him. Nothing had felt right in the last couple of years like this moment here did. If anything, all of that time felt like some weird drug-induced nightmare, and you had just woken up to find Russell here next to you, nothing having changed. But that wasn’t true; everything had changed.

Not wanting to think about that just yet, you picked up the hand that had been caressing your shoulder and studied the skin of his wrist. “This is new.” You trailed your finger along the design of the tattoo sitting there. “What prompted you to get this one?”

“That’s something Doug and I got one night when we met up with another one of the guys from our unit when he was in town. Tommy Laird. Good man.”

“A crown?”

Russell shrugged underneath you. “Tommy picked the design.”

“‘We three kings’, huh?”

You heard him chuckle. “Never thought of it like that but sure.”

“Is he also a part of Horizon?”

You felt him tense underneath you at the mention of the dark and deadly elephant in the room. “No. He, uh, he lives with his wife and three kids in North Carolina. They have a house in Cary and he went back to the family business when he got home.”

You nodded and pulled his wrist to you, placing your lips on his skin and tenderly kissing the middle of the design before letting him go. He hugged you closer to him and placed a kiss to your ear in turn, letting out what sounded like a contented sigh. 

A moment later, he murmured. “I want to help get you out.”

You nearly rolled your eyes again. You wanted to ask him why he was dead set on thinking that you even wanted out. Perhaps the you he had known would want a way out, want something more out of life than money and secrets and cleanups, but you had changed a lot in the last three years. But you knew if you posed that question, it would shatter the cocoon you currently found yourselves in and you weren’t ready for that to end just yet. So instead, you reminded him of another angle of the truth. “That’s not possible. Not the way you’re thinking. You know that.”

“Anything’s possible.” You nearly smiled at his response; there was the stubborn streak that sometimes infuriated you and sometimes endeared you to him, like right now. But you needed to make sure you maintained a reality check for the both of you. You knew what he was really thinking.

“Even if it was, we can’t.”

His head lifted and he frowned down at you. “Why not?”

“This isn’t some Mr. and Mrs. Smith shit. We don’t get a happy ending,” you finished sadly, thinking back to the life you once shared together as you cupped his cheek and rubbed it gently with your thumb. “Not together. It’s too dangerous.” You left it at that but you knew that he was more than aware of what you meant. 

His frown intensified at your words and he covered your hand with his, turning to place a kiss into your palm. “We’ll work it out.”

“Russ,” you sighed.

He gently grasped your chin between his thumb and forefinger, looking into your eyes. “We’ll work it out,” he softly repeated, that glint of determination back in his gaze. 

You decided once more that you wouldn’t bother launching into the many reasons it actually wouldn’t work out and you would refrain from popping that bubble he had just wrapped you both in. That moment would come later. But for now, you continued to keep silent.

When he noticed you weren’t going to say anything, a mischievous smile began to form on that handsome face you loved. “You know, I don’t really have anything planned for today. How about you?”

Other than some paperwork you had to go over later, your day was pretty much free, too. Even if it hadn’t been, you knew that look and after this morning, despite still having some unresolved anger with him, despite things that still needed to be said between you, you would have freed up your schedule immediately. “I don’t think I’ll be missed for a while,” you teased.

He leaned in to kiss you, whispering to your lips, “Oh, you were missed. Very much fucking missed.” The impishness you had heard a moment before was now absent but he never gave you a chance to respond. Instead, he kissed you deeply and began moving to cover your body with his once again. He maneuvered himself in between your thighs, your legs automatically coming up to gently cradle his hips. “Your arm,” you broke away to warn him.

“Don’t care.” He lowered down to keep kissing you and surprisingly (or unsurprisingly perhaps), all was right in the world right then. You didn’t allow yourself to get swept away by it or by the fantasy of something that would never be. Sadly, the time for you and Russell to be together had come and gone. You’d had your chance and you both had blown it, with him starting you out of the gate. This right here, this was all that was left — like embers of a dying fire. You would always love him, you knew that (truthfully, you had always known it), but this was all you would ever have. Once you both walked out that door, you would be walking in separate directions, taking different paths in your lives, no matter what Russell would say. 

But for right now, you allowed yourself to live in the moment, to enjoy it as he groaned into your mouth when your hand helped guide him to where you both wanted him to be. You held onto him as he began a slow movement within you, knowing you would need to take over again very soon when his left arm began to tremble. But until then you kept him close to you, drank deeply of him, and reveled in what the two of you had always managed to create together, content to keep Horizon and the rest of the world on the other side of the motel room door, if only for a moment longer. 

A/N: I know I left some things open and unresolved. I wanted to do that to let this be a gateway to the continuing story in the short series coming titled "Closer". Please let me know if you would like to be tagged in the series.

Please let me know if you would like to be tagged for this character.

dividers by @firefly-graphics

banner by @cafekitsune

Main Masterlist

Main Tag List Submission Form

[yeonjuns-girlfriend]

💕Sleepover with Soobin 💕

Genre: smut / oneshot

WARNING ⚠️: childhood friend theme,unprotected sexual activity’s , dom soobin , fem Y/n,

Word count : 1.3k

Summary: soobin invites you over late night for a sleepover

Not proof read sorry for typos in advance lol enjoy :)

You were out of town for a few days . You got back yesterday and you didn't get a chance to see Soobin ,your childhood best friend. He invited you to a sleepover at his house. Going to his house was nothing new but you had not spent a night with him since you were little back at his parents house. Two adults  having a sleepover is kinda silly if they're not romantically involved  but you know you'll have a good time and you miss him so of course you say yes with no hesitation. It was a Last minute thing you guys were going to wait till tomorrow to see eachother since it's already late but he invited you on a wim. 

You pack your bag with a few necessities and brand new cute pink pajamas you didn't even get a chance to try on but you were in a rush so you didn't really care about it. You uber to his house when you get there he meets you at the front door. You greet each other with a hug and some small talk  

                                                              ***

“y/n are you up for a movie?”

“Yeah i'll just get changed really quickly , you can put the movie on in the meantime ”

while changing you realize you messed up you should have made time to try on those pajamas before tossing them in your bag. The shorts are too short and the top is a little too small for your chest. Accentuating your cleavage making you feel embarrassed. He’ll definitely get the wrong impression and think your trying to Seduce him or something. while  you're deep in  thought about the situation Nearly freaking out about it you hear a knock at the bathroom door 

“Hey ,is everything ok ? i put the movie on “

“Yeah i'll be out in a sec”

You walk to the living room and sit on the couch you feel his eyes glued to you 

The lights are dim and the movie has started.your excitement overshadowed your embarrassment and you get carried away watching the movie. you're on the edge of your seat and your leg accidentally brushes up against soobin.You're so into the movie that you don't even realize When the action part is over you get a chance to look over at Soobin. his face was glowing red and he had an nervous look ,avoiding your eye contact

“Hey are you okay your face is really red is something wrong”

You notice he's holding a pillow on his lap

“What are you doing ”

“ i'm watching the movie just like you are”

“ ohh we forgot the popcorn do you mind getting it , i left it on the counter”

Soobin Stands up quickly tossing the pillow to the side when he returns with the popcorn he tries but fails to hide his boner when you see it you're a little taken aback by it . It makes you nervous but also turns you on. You can't deny how good looking he is,if your being honest you've always fantasized about what it would be like with him so …….You approach him “are you turned on right now”

“No ….what are you talking about”He tries to deny it but you've already seen it with your own eyes.You take the popcorn from him and place it back on the counter you stand in front of him and look him in the eyes putting one hand on his bulge he whimpers a little. 

“Does it make you Uncomfortable,seeing me like this?. I tried to Ignore it but I couldn't look away from you ,when your wearing that I couldn't resist thinking of you in a naughty way

“It's ok I understand ,I'm not uncomfortable with it , I can try to help you out. Would that be ok?” 

The moment is so romantic ,the way he just looks at you with lustful eyes. He holds your face brushing his thumb across your lips and you place your hand on his.

“Are you really ok with this?, i don't want to force myself on you”

You slip your other hand into his pants and begin stroking him “soobin,This is what i want” making him whimper a little more 

He looks away grabbing your hand guiding you to the couch . He sits down and gestures for you to sit next to him. You obey and when you're face to face he pulls you into a kiss.his soft lips making your heart pound and your body warms up welcoming his every touch . The air is hot and his sloppy kisses make your panties sopping  wet. You moan when he puts his hand on your upper thigh he begins touching you gently, when he feels how wet you are it turns him on even more making his cock drip pre cum. He wants to take you so badly but holds back because he doesn't want to hurt you. He pulls down your shorts and pulls your panties to the side before sliding one finger inside of you. Your arousal leaking out of you all over his long fingers. His pace picks up and he adds another finger .The room is filled with your soft shy moans as you lose yourself to the moment.

“Soobin i can't take much more of this i'm not gonna last” your words come out sloppy as you try to talk while his fingers are fucking you 

“y/n be good for me and just relax ” your walls squeeze together around his fingers after hearing him. And your body shakes from the orgasm that rushes over you. You loudly moan his name as he moves his fingers faster to carry you through your release.he slowly slips his fingers out of you 

“Y/n Clean it off for me” you open your mouth and he sticks his fingers in aggressively . you've never seen this side of him before. He's gone ferrell  .Before he could give you any more orders you get on your knees .When your head is between his legs you lay your face on his inner thigh rubbing your face against his cock through his pants . You pull them down just enough to let his cock come out. you look up at him while licking up his staff slowly from his base to his tip. You keep eye contact looking up at him as you deepthroat him, slobbering all over and gaining momentum he thrust his hips against you. Soobins moans get louder and hearing how sexy his moans are make you put in more effort . He's laid back on the couch all  out of breath. He puts a hand on the back of your neck to force his cock  deeper into your mouth. Your constant sucking  caused him to cum before he could warn you. He pulls it out of your mouth .It's still rock hard. He takes your hand again, caressing your body and positioning you so that you're bent over on the couch. He’s grabbing and slapping your ass. He finally takes off your panties and Immediately sticks it in. He's waited long enough he has to have you now he goes in so deep and so hard that you gasp for air. He took the air out of your lungs. Without giving you a second to get used to his size he fucks you with no breaks your ass stings from how hard he slams Against you. You try telling him it's too much for you but the only sounds you can make are cries of pleasure. His groans make it so much harder to form words. You think you might die from how hard he's taking you he grips your waist and thrust as hard as he can filling you up with his warm cum. He pulls out and enjoys watching his cream leak out of you.

[alltomevibes]

Summer 2024 Watchlist

It is officially summer which means I am out of school and have time to just sit !!! watch !!! and do nothing !!!

which means - here's my drama watchlist & my thoughts on everything so far:

Dare to Love Me - i started this yesterday and let me j say I flew through those 2 episodes. I decided to brave the comments on MDL to see what people were saying, and then i ignored them LOL because yeah. this show is highkey silly goofy but i love it! the FL is endearing to me and i hate how nowadays every woman has to be Strong and Confident to be loveable and it's like - no. i love the fact that she gets choked up, that she tries and fails, that she is mad clumsy, that she's clearly talented but has been burdened by lack of self-esteem like yes!!! she's human i love it give me MORE. and don't get me started on the ML. i love him - i love THEM your honor. currently at a 9.0 rating for me, we'll see if it keeps up.

Dating in the Kitchen - this has a 8.0 rating for me and i want to keep going (i only watched 1 episode and it's been two weeks since then) because i watched This Isn't What I expected THREE (3!!) times and i LOVE that movie and when I saw there was a drama based on it, i wanted to give it a go but i am STRUGGLINGGGG. imma keep it pushing because, look. i watched the movie 3 times. it's def worth it. (maybe)

Fight for My Way - this has a 9.5 rating rn, and i am stuck in the middle of episode 15. i have been stuck on the middle of episode 15 for a HOT minute. my interest in this show dropped like crazy, i am trying to hold on.

Good Morning Call - my roommate for two years (and sadly no more a ha ha) recommended this show to me and we watched the first episode together and it was cute! i liked it, so it's on my list. currently has a 8.5 rating, but it's low on my priorities (when it comes to dramas), so im gonna pirate it whenever i have time💀

Lovely Runner - don't even talk to me about this show if you want a short conversation - I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS SHOW BRO. look at my tumblr, it's all lovely runner rn and I HAVE NO REGRETS. 9.5 rating - won't get a 10 because it ENDS SOON. this is my type of show, i LOVE this type of show the cinematography and everything IM EATING IT UP. it got me out of my drama funk its so nfjsdfhdsifsd

The Midnight Romance in Hagwon: let me just say! i watched this yesterday and i flew by the two episodes. lovely runner x tmrih on my tumblr? yes. this show is a much slower-pace show and I LOVE IT. YEs! Give me real life, give me real conversations! I love this show, i love the micro-expressions, i love the fact that WHJ is the MAIN LEAD FOR ONCE LIKE YES SIR, GIVE ME ALL THE BUTTERFLIES and i've never seen this actress before JRW but she is absolutely gorgeous and i love the FL! these people are not acting, they ARE the characters and im so !!!!! 9.0 rating because i skip the intro every time (sorry)

Will Love in Spring - this is on pause on episode 15 because the ending actually has me severely messed up rn. i have been in love with li xian's acting since gogosquid and i absolutely adore chen mai dong. i adore the way zhuang jie says his name ALL the time like she can't help it. I adore zhuang jie and just the way she operates through life - she's so clearly flawed when it comes to romantic love, but she is so clearly filled with love and always tries her best and !!! zhou yu tong is eating her character up rn, i've never seen her act and this was such a good intro to her BUT WHAT ZHUANG JIE SAID TO MY BOY IN EPISODE 15????? locked up. i have never felt so disrespected in my life and i had to give it a pause because i know she's gonna apologize but i needed that on the train. not the next episode. actually, not even on the train!! IN THE STREET BEFORE HE DROVE OFF AFTER DRIVING HER HOME AFTER SHE ACCUSED HIM OF FORCING HER!!!! That's when she should have apologized, but fidjofdshifudsf i love her so much i know why she couldn't IM JUST IN AGONY RN. anyways, let me breathe lol cause the way i was holding my breathe writing that is,,,,,. yeah. has an 8.5 rating rn, will probably go up to 9.5 because the fact that i actually had to stop watching because of emotional damage is crazy.

thats my list (and crazy descriptions, so sorry) that i'm watching rn! i would 10/10 recommend these to everybody (except dating in the kitchen im highkey struggling)! if you guys have any recs based on what i shared or wanna be friends on MDL j let me know :)

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Some replies, starting with the ones related to the dragon!Malleus drawing from yesterday.

Anonymous asked:

*claps hands and rubs them together*

Hehehehehe dragonussy ✨ (recent Malleus drawing)

Yes! Finally!! 🤤😏 After all this time…!

Anonymous asked:

Mal only tops in dragon form

Look at him, Anon.

Look at him closely.

He is a bottom bitch with a dragon pussy so big that no dick could possibly satisfy it, so he is to stay forever hungry, underfucked and cranky until the chosen one (or a donkey idk) shows himself and fucks him to the ground.

 (In all seriousness, please don’t try this with us. We don’t like switching and we mention it every single day.)

Anonymous asked:

J-Jamil, do you know what it’s like being someone looking at a man that looks the way you do? 🥵

I think he knows, Anon… he knows it well enough to abuse this power that he holds 😔 So cruel and so beautiful!

Anonymous asked:

Have you seen Jamil’s B-Day groovy? He braids his hair and puts all the pretty hair accessories in with magic! Also, his sprites have him with these headbands that he just SLAYS in. It’s not fair for him to be so pretty ♥️♥️

Yes! I really wanted to compliment Jamil for having dedication to do his braids every single day, but then the groovy dropped lol The cat is out of the bag. I guess that makes perfect sense, who would want to spend so much time on that if you can do it with magic… good for him.

The headband looks cute on him as well; this guy is way too pretty for his own good.

Anonymous asked:

Who knew Lilia discovered the theory of relativity, turned down Henry VIII, was the first person (fae?) on the moon, and escaped the Facebook lizard!

(related to an ask from yesterday)

Yes! Especially the last thing!

The fact that no one other than the rest of Diasomnia boys would believe him… younglings are so cynical these days :(

Anonymous asked:

I feel like “Wait for It” by Leslie Odom Jr. really matches Jamil especially his feelings toward Kalim near the end of the song.

I really like this song, Anon. Maybe this is because it’s kind of difficult for me to separate it from its story and Burr and Hamilton specifically…

I agree that Jamil resonates with the feeling of unfairness when some other person just keeps doing whatever he wants and winning, while he has to sit back and wait, but Jamil’s situation still feels very different.

Then again, Jamil got his “what are you waiting for though?” moment, so 🤔 You’re onto something.

Anonymous asked:

You know, when I first read that thing you wrote on Vil being taken advantage of by older men in the industry, all I could think about was "All You Wanna Do" from the Six musical. Like, listen to it while picturing Vil and you'll understand what I mean.

You ask was driving me insane for this entire week, Anon, because I was trying to find one reply where we already talked about Vil in relation to this song, but plottwist: it doesn’t exist lol But we did get an ask about it in relation to Alois! Which is funny because somehow we keep walking back to their similarities from time to time.

To answer your question though: yeah I get it. It’s like the perfect level of uncomfortable coping with the idea of “I am not being taken advantage of, I am just that good compared to others”. Vil probably had his breaking moment when he stopped lying to himself about this whole thing.

Anonymous asked:

Do you watch k dramas? If so, you should really check out Glory. It’s a super intense one

K-dramas aren’t really our thing, but I checked the synopsis of Glory, and honestly it sounds super cool! And has this vibe of a lot of k-movies that we love, interestingly.

Thank you for your recommendation!

[axel-skz]

You’re not funny…

A/N: I feel not tired at all and kind of nauseous. I think I’m severely dehydrated but drinking the water gives me even more nausea so… tf do I do? Write a fanfic and ignore my problems. I did not proof read it and It’s not a literary masterpiece so please, lower your expectations lol (shuffled my stray kids playlist and we got thunderous this time ;) for our boys thunderous dance moves (I mean that was terrible but I wanna play a song for every fic now so, yeah lol))

Summary: Minho is expecting a nice weekend together that he needed very much but you’re planning to play a prank.

Minho x Gender neutral reader

Minho had been getting frustrated very fast lately. Getting burnt out a lot because this comeback had been so demanding. He could see all the work coming too because they had been told, they were going on tour.

Now he was agitated because he was working all the time and he couldn’t spend time with his loved ones.

He knew what would make him feel better though. Spending time with you. All he was looking forward to all week was a whole weekend with you.

What he didn’t know was that the perfect storm was brewing. At the time where he wanted nothing but affection fhe most, you had the plan to play a prank on him.

You would try your best to swerve anytime he wanted a kiss or a hug. You had seen it on tiktok a lot recently and you just really wanted to try it out.

Horrible timing honestly but you had no idea.

He had called on monday and you would both be spending the weekend together. He hadn’t told you about the tour either because he hadn’t got the chance to. You would never be playing this prank if you knew.

Friday afternoon, he arrives. You hear him knocking on your door and instantly, you ready yourself. Usually you would run to him in the most dramatic way possible and give him a hug. He acted like he hated it but it made him feel wanted.

While he thought about how much he needed that hug, you were making sure you wouldn’t do it. As you opened the door, he stood there for what felt like a century, expecting the hug. You looked st him with confusion.

‘You good?’ You asked with a puzzled look.

‘You usually hug me when you open the door,’ he also looked extremely confused.

‘Oh, you hate it so I thought I wouldn’t do it. Come in,’ you smiled at him. As he walked in, you took the things he was carrying. It was your way of busying yourself.

He let out a sigh as he sat on the sofa, ‘I’m so tired. I could barely sleep yesterday.’

‘Aww, that’s sad. Have you had a hard time sleeping for a while or just last night?’ You came back after putting his bag in your room.

He looked at you and you could see how tired he was, ‘all week. So much work and I just don’t even want to think about it. It’s early as hell but can we watch a movie and take a nap?’

Code for watch something and cuddle. He wasn’t one to just outright ask for physical contact so you had gotten use to recognising when he wanted it and how he asked.

‘Of course we can do that,’ you smiled at him and set up everything for a movie.

You got some sweets and popcorn with the softest blankets. You picked a feel good movie that you both really liked and started to get settled. You played the movie and sat down on the floor.

He was surprised, ‘why are you on the floor? There’s plenty of room on the sofa.’

‘You should stretch out and get comfy. It’ll be easier to fall asleep. I have some work I need to do so I’ll sit here and do it when you fall asleep,’ you said while feigning interest in the movie.

It’s like you could feel him pouting. And he was.

‘Could you not do the work tomorrow?’

‘I’m sorry, my love. It’s urgent. I need to get it in by the end of the day.’

‘S’okay…’ he covered himself in blankets and got comfortable. He didn’t let it show just how hurt he was by it.

He fell asleep after a little while. He woke up a couple hours later and you had nodded off while working on the floor. Your brief was on the table and he looked at it.

He tried to help you with your work sometimes because you liked his opinions on it. As he read through it, he noticed it wasn’t due for another two weeks. That hurt him again because he didn’t understand why you lied.

He moved back and laid back down. He didn’t know how long he stared at the cieling before you woke up. He pretended to sleep when you got up to check on him. You picked up your stuff after you fixed the blanket so it was covering him properly.

After that, you started cooking for dinner. He took a little while before he got up. He acted groggy as he walked into kitchen. You heard him shuffle in and it was so hard not to hug him when he looked so cute with the wayward hair and the puffy cheeks.

‘Sleep well?’ You asked as you moved to the fridge.

‘Mhm, something about this place helps me sleep,’ he smiled.

‘Pff- you’re so sweet,’ you giggled a bit as you gave him some juice.

‘I was talking about your sofa and the tv but whatever helps you sleep at night.’

You playfully glared at him, ‘they’re mine and they help you so ultimately, it’s all me.’

You began washing some extra pots as you let him know what you were cooking and that it was almost done. You felt him get up and walk over. As he got closer, you quickly put what you were washing down and moved away to the stove.

A look of hurt and confusion flashed on his face for a second but it was gone as fast as it came. He followed to look at the food but kept a little distance. He didn’t understand at all what was going on.

You guys set the table up and ate your meal.

He was extremely silent the whole time and it was a very awkward 25 minutes. He offered to do the dishes and as he grabbed the last one, he leaned in to kiss you out of habit as he said thank you. You swerved and this seemed to be his breaking point.

He froze for a moment but then put the plate down and kneeled next to you. He took your hands in his and he looked into your eyes.

‘Y/N, what have I done? I don’t remember doing anything to hurt you and that may also be bad but whatever it is, I’m sorry. Please just tell me and let me fix it,’ he looked so torn up inside and it hurt your heart to see him like that.

And then you broke. (Because you would be a menace to society if you didn’t finally tell him what was going on)

‘I’M SO SORRY! Hold on… I’ll explain,’ You pulled him off the floor and took him over to the sofa. You both sat down. ‘It was such a stupid idea but I saw this prank on tik tok and I wanted to do it.’

The sad look on his face hurt your soul, ‘so you don’t hate me?’

‘God no! I could never!’ You leaned forward and gave him a hug. ‘I’m so sorry! It was a stupid idea!’

He hugged you back in an instant. You were basically in his lap, his face hidden in your neck. ‘Can we just stay like this for a while?’

You nodded and hugged him harder, ‘Can I turn off the kitchen light first?’

‘I’ll pay your electricity bill.’

‘I was kidding,’ you smiled.

‘Someone has to tell you, you’re not funny,’ you could feel him smirk.

‘So mean and hurtful, for what reason?!’ You jokingly sniffled.

‘Feel my pain,’ he laughed.

‘If it makes you feel better, fine,’ you hugged him a little tighter. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘S’okay. I’m just glad it was a prank.’

‘I love you most.’

‘I love you even more’

A/N: I’m thinking of a part two for this. I dont know. Cus I mentioned a tour so maybe it’s worth playing that out a bit. Lemme know what you think.

Please like and reblog and submit your prompts/requests :)

I’m writing anything that comes to mind right now so suggestions would be great.

[I’ve tried to look over it but if there’s anything that isn’t gender neutral about the reader, lemme know and I’ll fix it]

The following parts will probably not come and this was made as a stand alone story. If you’re still wanting to continue reading after this, go for it :) I just wanted to warn you cus if I were you, Id want someone to warn me.

Part 2

[byfulcrums]

okay. i just watched transformers one yesterday (couldn't do this b4 because it was like 3am) and want to give it a review so here we go!!

the overall rating i would give this movie is a 9/10. there are some flaws, some that are noticeable and some that aren't, but the good overshadows the bad here, so. nine out of ten

and there are gonna be spoilers from now on so be careful and go watch the movie if you haven't!!!

The good parts of this movie

TF1 shows us the story of Cybertron before the war in great detail, something that isn't very often seen in the movies and series, as the most info we get about this (mostly of Optimus and Megatron's relationship) comes from things like flashbacks. It's just a very nice thing to see!

The graphics and animation of this movie are stunning. I couldn't watch it in a very good quality, since I was unable to go to the cinema like I'd previously planned, but it still looked incredible. The designs are super cool too. The amount of detail that went into this movie is amazing, and I also loved all of the cameos (I screamed when I saw Arcee)

The voice acting is also very good. I think that the casting for Megatron/D-16 was brillaint. The VA did an incredible job in playing his character. It was like I could feel what he was feeling. Chris Hemsworth's voice for Orion Pax also worked really well! It was a great choice to cast him for a younger version of Optimus Prime. I think that it works better as Orion than as Optimus, but that's just me being picky lol

Elita's and Bumblebee's VAs were amazing too! I talk more about OP and D-16 because they're the ones the movie is centered around, but the rest also were great :)) The other characters's voices help give them more character depth, as they change once the movie goes forward. I think that's beautiful. Unlike the Spanish version, the EN one has some VERY good casting (im salty)

The lore was done extremely well, especially with the limited time they had. The worldbuilding was great too!

I loved the designs of the places. Iacon was just,,,,, great. The flora of the surface looked beautiful

The fight scenes made me fall in love. The sequences were incredible. Fast, with lots of action, and very exciting and fun to watch. The race made me feel so many things too

The visuals are pretty much perfect basically

I love how they worked with OP and D-16's friendship too. In most universes, their characterizations are very different: OP is more serious, a little more introverted, and Megatron/D-16 is still angry over the unfair life he was given. In this version they give them more personality, as a way to show that they have changed a LOT by the time the war begins

They weren't always leaders. In here, Orion is a little bit of an idiot; he's reckless, he talks a lot, he gets into trouble. Surprisingly, D-16 appears to be quieter. He wants to follow the rules, to not cause too much trouble. These two things mean that D-16 often has to help Orion when he fucks up

Something I loved to see is how much of a rule breaker mech Orion is. A thing most people tend to foget is that (in every version I've seen, at least) Orion Pax also fought for freedom before he was a Prime. He's a "fuck the goverment" kind of guy, only less violent than, say, fucking Megatron

I was lowkey scared of what they would do with Orion. I didn't want them to give him only a Hot Rod type of personality and then give him too little depth. But i loved him!!! so much!!!!!!

I also believe that making Orion a miner too was a great choice and that more should do it from now on. It just speaks more to me to see a guy that wasn't a high or middle class person fighting against Megatron

Orion and D-16's relationship was amazingly done too. In this movie, they actually feel like friends. They do things for each other without the other having to ask, they banter, they hit each other playfully, they always have each other's back

From the little things like D-16 quietly helping Orion get out of trouble, Orion looking behind him to make sure D-16 is following him, to the bigger things, like Orion getting themselves in the race and them helping each other during it, Orion giving him the Decepticon insignia sticker, and D-16 being horrified when he realizes who he shot

The banter, the way they laugh, how they just seem so comfortable around the other, showcases how truly great their relationship was, how much they love each other. These two actually feel like friends

Their relationship also makes D-16's anger stand out more. From Orion's reactions, we can see that he was never a truly angry person. Every single time D-16 did something different, something that wasn't like him at all, the camera would show us Orion's face. D-16 wasn't always like this. Orion knows this more than anyone, and he is scared and worried for his friend

Orion and D-16's motivations and ideals are very clear throughout the entire movie. Orion wants to be something more, he knows that he's missing something, that something's wrong. D-16 follows the rules and makes sure to not get into trouble, and yet even though he just wants to live in peace, he still allows himself to get into so much trouble when it comes to Orion

Orion's ideals didn't change much. He knows everything is unfair. He wants to change it. He changes, too, but he's still the guy that craves freedom more than anything

D-16's dreams are shattered with one hit. Everything changes immediatly. Before, he wanted to stick to protocol, and now, he just wants to kill Sentinel Prime. He still wants freedom, though; that much hasn't changed

It hurts how understandable D-16's POV is. He's angry and he's hurt and he never wants to be afraid again. He begins to hate. And we know that he's not good, that he isn't doing the right things, but God. I understand him. I understand the people cheering when he kills Sentinel and I undertsand him. It's not right to kill an unarmed man begging for mercy, and from a tactical POV it is also not a good idea since he's the one making deals with the Quintessons and they could use him to put an end to the invasion, but D-16 is rightfully angry

It kills me how this shows the way rightful anger can be useful, but also deadly when it goes too far. D-16 stopped being right when his anger got the best of him, when he started killing civilains, when he let his best friend fall to his death

Optimus, after getting the Matrix, looks so... tired. His best friend is gone. He knows that peace will not last forever and that it might be because of Megatron's fault. The logical choice would be to kill Megatron where he stands, but he just. Can't do it. The day he becomes a god is the day he loses everything

I have more things to say but this is getting long, so we'll go with the rest now

The bad parts

I wasn't a fan of how Bee seemed to only be a comedic relief, and though I loved him a lot, I wish he was something more

I'm also not a big fan of how Elita was done in some parts. Sometimes she felt a lot like the stereotype of the badass girl character. She didn't do much and she seemed to be there just for there to be a Girl Character. Honestly, they should've made her more central to the plot, instead of just having her give a terrible pep talk (which was funny, I did like it, but it was not enough) and expect everyone to just roll with it

The plot could've been better. Not complaining, but it seemed odd that everything /just so happened/ to be where it was (Steve, Meg and OP being chucked 50 levels below ouut of nowhere)

The pacing felt too fast. D-16's downfall came too quickly. Not much to say about this

I think there should be less familiar faces in one place. It can make the world feel a little too small after a while

I also would've liked more scenes of Orion confronting Meg when he gets Violent TM, instead of just standing there. At least just.. trying too, even if he's not being listened to. I think it would've made it better

Plus I would've liked to see them struggling with fighting more. Make them a little less competent, make it look more like they're just improvising, and the movie would've been a lot better

I also wish we'd seen more anger from the other characters. More sadness. From both background characters, and the MCs (minus meg he's already angry)

I cant think anymore i am very tired. so this is it. but i have more opinions that i might be sharing later!!!

Overall

Very good movie. Not perfect, but still fantastic. Fell in love with literally everything

Voice acting: 9/10. The main cast was perfect!!

Visuals: 10/10

Plot: 7.5/10. We already knew what would happen, so it wasn't too much. However, the movie did some VERY cool things with the way it worked with the plot!

Characterization: This is kinda hard. Overall, I'd go with an 8/10. Meg, Sentinel, OP, Alpha Trion, etc are 9.5/10, but there are some other characterrs I didn't like so much, as I've stated before

Music: 7/10, the TFP soundtrack KILLED ME

[cr1zz0]

im kinda burned out XD

yesterday... my father and i went to kinda? fight?? his pointed that im making internet content for 3 yrs yet i haven't reached 1k follow in any flatform. he want me to not waste time on useless thing or he just want me to earn money for every second of my effort.. he also pointed that im using too much effort on a content that getting a few likes then flop.. yeah kinda like... "you will not live on the internet" kind of mentality.. or "no fun, only work mentality" typical asian parent XD.... *sigh* he told me... if i don't make a living by using my free time i should probably quit or something.. hell nah.. im having fun making content.. you are not watching movies because someone gonna pay you... you are playing games for the sake of making money.. sometimes you create because you like making it. because it's fun.. but i kinda think about alot lately.. it kinda eating my motivation... when will i able to reach 1k?? or when will earn something from this?? is there any reward for the effort?? *sigh* ive seen someone rose faster than i can... and they already doing good... meanwhile im at the bottom.. and i kinda envy them... i kinda want to give up lol... eh... i probably need to keep going... that's my vent for today...

[kanmom51]

JK Seven MV making sketch BTB

Yay, the subs are back on. And I got to watch it and even understand what he was saying, lol.

Loved it.

I was just sitting here for the 12 minutes with a huge smile on my face.

Because JK is just so adorable. So genuine. So real.

He had the time of his life, and seeing that just made me happy.

Now let's talk about a few thing I took from the BTB, why don't we?

I think I'll start from the fun and make my way to the more serious.

Not too much went on really. It's mostly him enjoying himself.

Being his own chaotic loveable self.

Trying to keep his eye open with the water pouring down on him, lol.

Can you imagine just how much fun this all was for him, our daredevil?

Funny, just thought about it, but they didn't even talk to Hun Sohee. Not a word. She might as well not have been there. Now I understand that JK is the focus, it's his song, BTBs are about the members, but at the same time, she's a well known and loved Korean actress acting in his MV and not only don't we get to hear from her even once, we also don't really get to see interactions between him and her in the BTB. In a way it feels like they are trying to keep this distance - this is JK, he's singing Seven, he's shooting a MV, but he's disconnected from it. I'm not sure I'm being clear enough here.

Ok, so for example JK explains what the scenes are and says the word girlfriend, god forbid. We know y/ns went into a frenzy over this stupidity. JK explaining the concept of the scene in which he's fighting with his gf, cause that's what the MV is about, and she's his gf in the bloody MV.

But maybe, knowing this fandom, they wanted to keep the delusion to a minimum, not to mention keep Sohee away from the crazy ass fans that are already harassing her by just keeping her off camera as much as possible. Idk, just found it interesting.

JK tells us a little about his acting, lol.

To all those that are still riding the scripted fanservice bandwagon, time to fucking get off it.

Omg, the way he disses Yoongi, he just LOVES to do that with Yoongi. Now I can kind of understand the "even at 60 years old jeon jungkook will be freaking annoying".🤣🤣

JK is wearing THE brand again. I'm telling you folks, JM made a huge online order for the two of them!!

He's just so precious, with this thing he has of checking out his hands, every single time it feels like it's the first time he's seen them, lol. The fascination he had from his water wrinkled fingers. So endearing.

Looks at them in amazement, shows everyone, then back to looking at them again all fascinated.

You'd think the man has never in his lifetime taken a long shower or had a bath or been in the damn swimming pool. Nah, lol. It's just one of those cute loveable oddities of his.

Did we notice the ASSets?

And I thought JM was in charge of that body part in the family.

Well, apparently the competition is on.

Has JK surpASSed JM?

Should we progrASS? Oopsy...progress?

And now I will take a moment to breathe.

I went looking for more pics from the BTB and came across this:

I don't know enough about the movie but do we know of any kind of connection to Jikook? Or this could be the directors tribute to the movie too. In any case it's a fun tribute.

Now for the heavy stuff, or not so heavy just a little more on the serious side.

I wrote a long ass brain fart of a post yesterday. And some of it is very relevant here too.

JK clearly sees the song as a love song. Period.

He did the explicit version for the fun of it (well and also probably because the America market loves a song with profanities in it). But for him it's the fun of not being restricted by the Kpop rules of engagement, the "don't swear because the song will be censored" and "don't swear because it's too adult" or whatever other reasons for it. He's having fun feeling more freedom, and that he's all grown up and can say fucking multiple times out loud.

But when it comes down to it, when asked about it directly, his answer was that he prefers the clean version. Because to him Seven is a love song, not one about the physical act alone. Yes, of course sex is part of it (the song lyrics are kind of loud), but sex is not even half of what loving someone is all about.

We saw JK talking about the love of his life while explaining about the song.

Him in the BTB about the death scene:

And at the end of the BTB explaining more:

And we also have what he said in the interview aired earlier today on Z100 radio.

The more we get of JK talking about the song the clearer and louder it becomes. I just wish people would only be listening to him.

Anyway, the man is beautiful.

Love him.

Not as much as the love of his life does though.

No competition there!!

[sofiaisanalien]

hii! just thought i would see how you were doing. have you done anything nice recently? seen any of your friends?

Heyy how are you?

I have finals so I'm studying a lot

I took one final yesterday, I think I probably failed even though I studied hard for it but I panicked during the exam, I have to retake the subject next year if I fail this one

I have an other final exam on Monday, and then an other one on Thursday, and then the rest of finals start on 24 Jun (idk why I'm telling you everything with details and dates lol)

I should study but I decided to take today as a break, I cleaned my room and I'm thinking about watching a movie

And yea last week I went with my friend from college to an anime caffé and she bought me lunch there (noodles and onigiris and ice tea) they were sooo good, we played cards and the owner of the café had let us try his VR and it was soooo cool this is the first time I try it, we also watched an anime movie called "a silent voice", it was so cute you should watch it, I really enjoyed that day it was maybe the best day for this year

Here are some pictures of what she got me

I also went to an other friend's house last week, she's my friend from school and her cousin came over and we had fun, we wore black lipstick and recorded a funny video, we also took some pictures and she posted one with the caption "masc and fem", she was referring to me as masc and bro idk why I was soooo happy when I saw that word hahaha

Thank you for checking up on me I love you <3

Reblog this and tell me about your past 2 weeks

[romaine2424]

Daily Blog June 21, 2023

Hi! Welcome to my first day of fandom blogging! I'm very excited about doing this and hope you'll join in on the conversation and really hope that you might start one of your own!!! So on that note, lets get going.

What I'm reading:

I'm currently re-reading The Changeling by @annerbhp. It's a canon rewrite of sort, with a big twist. Here's the summary: Ginny is sorted into Slytherin. It takes her seven years to figure out why. It's 182K from Ginny's POV. It does follow canon to a point. I read this about 6 months ago and I still think about it when writing Drarry. I now have to give Ginny a positive break-up with Harry. LOL No dissing her because she's such a badass in this story. While it's listed as Harry/Ginny, it really is mostly a Ginny story for the main story. There's follow on stories after this one that are fab too.

It starts with Year 1 and the house sorting. Ginny is surprisingly sorted into Slytherin. She at first thinks its a joke done by her twin brothers, but then reality sets in. Most of her family is devastated and she feels completely isolated. This is a Ginny you'll recognize from canon and then so much more. If you longed for more Slytherin background and lore than canon gave us, this you will love. And if you think Slytherin is dominated by the males...well this will give you a headcanon that you won't forget.

What I'm writing:

The Azkaban Letters, which I'm so far behind on I want to cry. It's a 2007 WIP I started right before HPDH came out. So it's canon divergent after HBP. I did edit the first 7 to be more in line with canon and post canon. My issue is I have too much in my head and too many ideas to get down on paper...er on the computer. When I stopped writing it in 2007, I had posted the first 7 chapters on The Hex Files. It came over to AO3 during the transfer and has been staring at me in the face since then. I'm now up to 16 chapters, which sounds like a lot, but there's 4 sections to the story and I'm in the middle of section 2. sigh.

Tumblr Posts of Interest:

@xanthippe74 on her blog has reposted her 2020 fic, Follow the Water in honor of summer solstice. If you have not read this fic, you are in for such a treat. Perfect summer fic. Give her post a reblog and fic some love!

@julcheninred posted on her blog yesterday that it was the 5th anniversary of Draw Drarry badly. I so love her block H/D art, and so happy we've had five years of her sharing them with us. Make sure to reblog to share the Drarry fun!

3. HDMpreg2023 has posted the reveals on A03. TWENTY fics in all. I only got to read about 1/3 of them, but whoa there are some serious gems. (If I find the Tumblr post for this, I'll add it.)

4. @lcdrarry has also posted their reveals! My apologies to the fest and authors/artists. I've only read a few this round but plan on diving into the treasure trove of Drarry. This was a new fest for me to watch when I came back to fandom. While I don't watch many movies or watch tv much anymore, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to follow/understand the stories as well as I should. I was wrong. Most I have found I could enjoy without knowing the source.

Tumblr Drarry Fic/Art Resource:

I'm guessing most of you follow @drarryspecificrecsdaily, but in case not, you should definitely follow! They post Drarry completed fics which have been posted on AO3 for the current day. I have found some amazing gems from this resource. Fics I haven't seen discussed or recced anywhere else and authors I haven't been blessed reading before.

Okay, that's it for Day 1! Hope you found something interesting. I'll be switching around the categories on a daily basis. Tomorrow, I'll be adding in Fic Rec from the way past. Feel free to comment. :)

[ninjadepressed]

People I'd like to know better!

I was tagged by @ficklecat (one of my very favorite fic writers, go read their stuff!! It's so good!!) Thank you for tagging me! I know you tagged me on my main but I wanted to do it here instead since I'm more active on this blog rn. I'm terrible at doing these lol

Last song: Pink Diamond - Charli xcx

Favourite colour: purple 💜💜

Currently watching: nothing right now actually. I think the last show I finished was Blue Eye Samurai. I really liked that and would love to talk about mizu being trans with anyone else who has seen it lol

Last movie/tv show: I watched the Pope's Exorcist yesterday on a recommendation from a friend. It's great, you should see it. Russel Crowe is doing an Italian?? accent and riding around on a little moped. Also, they used the Templar symbol from Dragon Age to represent the actual Templars?? It's good

Spicy/savoury/sweet: Spicy!! I'm not the type to get extra spicy food, but I put some kind of spice in basically everything I eat. I also love bitter foods. Maybe I just have a kind of weak sense of taste because I want all my food to have strong flavors.

Relationship status: married 💞 we just celebrated our 8th anniversary on Halloween!!

Current obsession: hmmm I'm actually not sure. I've been thinking of taking some classes at a local university just to learn about some things I didn't study in college. I've been really interested in geology for a while but was a humanities major so I didn't take a lot of science classes. I found some lectures from a geology class at a university in Oregon that I watched lol. I want more of that.

Last thing you googled: League of Pigs! There's a guy in the UK who makes videos of pigs racing on tracks in the woods and they are so cute!! They have jerseys for each of the pigs and I'm thinking of getting one. Bear Trotsky is my girl! She doesn't run or jump very well but she's super cute!!!

Tagging: @lesbianmizukage @obihoe @soaringpigeonshovel @kakashihasibs @kakashihoetake

[thisdreamplace]

hi dream. it’s 😵‍💫. I see you’re a bit more active lately. how have you been? what’s happening in life for you? (if you’d like to share) I saw you said it’s Spring for you, that’s crazy. I have to remind myself that people live all over the country & world, the seasons are different lol.

any plans for Halloween ? I’m either going to dance or celebrate with my family. I can’t decide but the choices make me feel bitter sweet. it’s a great dance opportunity but I appreciate going trick or treating with my siblings because they’re growing up. one day they’ll be over it. :’) enjoying where we are. I’m hoping I can do both.

in the previous messages, you said “your hair is not ugly. it’s the way you perceive it” that makes sense. There are rare times when I love my hair in certain mirrors but every time I tried to take a selfie or saw it in a different mirror, it looked hideous (today it happened). with my looks as well, sometimes I look pretty. sometimes I don’t. I just saw a picture of me from last month and was surprised that I looked pretty? but then I saw myself in the mirror today and I immediately panicked. someone called me pretty today & I didn’t know how to feel. a part of me started to fight with myself “am I pretty or not? what are they seeing?” yesterday, someone called me cute & the only thing that went through my head is “that’s odd. what are they talking about?” I don’t know what they are seeing.

I was trying to figure out why it keeps happening everyday. why in the hell do I look different every day? what is going on with my perception? any tips on how to navigate through this? I used to think my features were a problem, but I don’t think so. I used to think it was my weight because I gained a few visible pounds. I don’t think my looks should depend on weight though……well, I think. my mom took pictures of me this weekend. the weight didn’t bother me. my stomach was even showing. it’s just some pics were cute, some looked terrible like another person (even in regular angles 😭). like wtf is going on? what do I really look like? 😔

hiiii 😵‍💫 anon <3

i've been well thanks~ actually, i've been really focused on organizing myself in a way that feels good and productive daily. i started working from home and actually, it was hard for a while to really be disciplined with myself hahahah but now i've got a swing of things and its really nice. ive been exploring new places, making new friends, and just trying my best to enjoy my time :') thanks for asking <3

i hope you can do both too! that would be such a darling halloween!🎃 hehe actually for the holiday, i'll be doing my usual tradition. eating pizza and sweets, passing out candy, and watching some of my favorite halloween movies <3 (specifically, halloween (1978) and hocus pocus~) for me these are the true halloween classics i've always watched with my family for many years!! up until then i'll be marathoning halloween dcoms. my partner has never seen any before, so i'm really excited to share that part of my childhood with them~

i think that really unstable perception of yourself is extremely normal!! it really goes back to have an unstable inner self as well. of course, some days you can look entirely different. honestly, you can even look different in the same day!! when we arent very stable in ourselves, our looks can shift and change constantly. ive truly experienced this myself, and its super trippy. more than anything, just keep practicing deciding how you want to feel about yourself, despite anything else!!

xo

[idridian]

what are your favourite horror movies

what a question to ask me lol. ohhhkay, strap in.

(please note that when you ask me "favourite", that means you get favourite regardless of quality. and you get no tv shows or any such things, strictly movies)

(btw i haven't actually seen that many horror films. many of the iconic franchises especially - chucky, elm street, scream, friday the 13th, texas chainsaw massacre, what have you - just never piqued my interest. maybe some day)

(also these are in no particular order)

-

1. hellraiser franchise

my working theory is that all "hellraiser" movies are bad movies, but for different reasons. the og from 1987 is a bad movie because it was made on a budget of ten pounds and a packet of crisps. hellraiser 8 is bad because its plot is about a group of teens obsessed with a hellraiser video game getting murdered at a weird sex party. these two are not the same

that being said, i love these movies very much (except for hellraiser 10. i hate hellraiser 10 and will never ever watch it ever again, thank you. no reason) and love to look at pinhead and his many cenobite buddies doing weird kinky shit <3

2. halloween movies (only 1978 and the green trilogy from 2018 onwards)

i haven't seen any of the other ones because i was introduced to the series by my very good friend miri aka @asylos, who showed me those four and no others. and i was like okay :D and just never watched the rest because i don't consume media unless prompted

i'm a basic bitch, i see a man in a jumpsuit and get gender envy, so og twink michael delights me. that being said, old man michael from the green trilogy? CHEF'S KISS. love that fucker. he's the best

3. anything del toro

a lot of his films don't really stay within the constraints of a single genre, but they definitely contain horror elements. my favourite is "the shape of water", which has its moments but is overall not that scary. the pale man from "pan's labyrinth" made quite the impression on me when i first saw the movie because while i had seen the iconic shot of him raising his hands to reveal the Palm Eyes before, i was unaware of the fact that that fucker gets up and shambles around and i was Not Okay with that

crimson peak is very pretty and i love it. for obvious reasons, i think

4. willy's wonderland

nic cage night janitor animatronic murder fight bonanza my beloved. like honestly, i watched the fnaf movie yesterday and it had zero good cleaning montages, wasn't as funny and had fewer bangers, music-wise, than willy's does. like what's the fuckin point

5. fright night 2011

this film has david tennant in it and that's why i watched it. apart from him being an absolutely show-stealing delight, the rest of the film is also a fun romp. there's vampires and stuff

6. bad samaritan

this film ALSO has david tennant in it. he's doing an american accent (a way better one than in "gracepoint", a show that you should Not watch. just watch "broadchurch" instead please, i promise you're not missing anything) and is playing a rich asshole obsessed with horses who abducts and kills women. also he throws a phone out of a car window at two separate occasions and it cracks me up

the main character is played by some actor whose name i can never remember. he's irish or something and i think he might have been in one of those pieces of media i haven't consumed. umbrella academy? was he klaus in umbrella academy? who's klaus?? is klaus FROM umbrella academy? who knows

anyway, the film is a thriller and i quite like watching it. it's tense with zero unnecessary padding, it knows what it's here for and delivers

7. the thing 1982 + 2011

another one i watched with miri. miri likes to show me horror films (and tv shows) a lot <3 we watched both the og and the new one and i quite liked them! the dog in the 82 one is really really good at his job. i highkey struggle with big groups of characters bc i can't remember names and faces for shit, so i was reeeally bad at spotting the Thing. also i liked the teeth thing from the 2011 one that was smart

8. bunny lake is missing

does this count as a horror movie? idk, but i'm putting it here

9. psycho

it's pretty good. i liked it. i think norman would have been a tumblr sexyman if such a thing had existed in the 1960s

10. the one hour long space horror segment trapped in the middle of otherwise meandering artfilm "2001: a space odyssey"

you know the one

11. alien

classic. i haven't seen any of the others apart from "aliens" because the internet said they were bad

12. the abyss

veers closer to sci-fi than horror, but i'm counting it bc it sure is tense. this is a film by james cameron about *checks smudged handwriting* some underwater diving alien nonsense or something. idk, it's been a while since i've watched it. another movie with a big group of characters i can't tell apart for shit, which is why i'm always rooting for some of them to start dying already

i watched this one because i unfortunately am doing a handshake meme with jimmy cameron labelled "hello i am obsessed with the ocean" and unlike me, he has the money to make really long epic films about it

13. the haunting 1963

this is a movie adaptation of "the haunting of hill house" by shirley jackson. it's very good! (if you're familiar with flanagan's netflix show, there are some parts of this movie that will be... quite familiar)

i watched this one with miri, followed immediately by the 1999 remake (?), which i found very strange and occasionally hilarious because of cgi that hasn't stood the test of time. also, i'd like it to be put on record that i fuckin CALLED the thing about the fireplace (somehow lol)

14. rocky horror picture show

my parents showed me this movie when i was maybe a bit too young to see it, at a point in my life where i hadn't quite figured out yet that i was various shades of queer. it sure made an Impression

many years later, i finally got around to watching the sequel, "shock treatment" (thanks to miri, of course) which is very different but also a good time, and has some bangers of its own!

-

those are all the ones i can think of (and look up in the big movie watchlist google doc miri and i use to keep track of what we've seen so far) without digging through my dvd collection, which i don't feel like doing right now because it'd be a bother.

but just for fun, a few brief honourable mentions:

the shining (i care about shelley duvall and nothing else. so glad she got to punt jack nicholson's character down a flight of stairs with a baseball bat)

black christmas (keir dullea what IS your haircut shgsjfghs)

cabin in the woods (i knew nothing going in and miri was very pleased by this fact)

house on haunted hill 1959 (skeleton lol)

young frankenstein (my parents showed me the german dub version when i was, again, a bit too young for it. iconic movie tbh)