#you see where there might be some difficulties

[kraangdroidz]

I really enjoy looking at Donatello's characterisation - especially the 2012 version of Donnie.

I don't know why, but something specifically about the 2012 iteration of our favourite brothers draws me to them. Maybe it's because I think they have the most interesting and unhealthy brother dynamic to explore out of any version of the Turtles. But just to say right off the bat, I don't agree with the statement that Raphael is abusive toward Mikey in this version. I don't think this to be true at all.

But in the 2012 version of Donnie, I think it's the obsessional aspect of his character that I find interesting. People flame him hard for it - which is very valid - the way he treated April was very creepy, and some of the things he did April had no knowledge of, (Like Donnie taking a photo of her and having it as his laptop wallpaper). But I like doing a little more when it comes to characters' less-than-ideal traits. Yeah, what they're doing is bad, creepy, etc. But why exactly might they be acting that way?

For Donnie, I think his problem is how he looks.

In the 2012 iteration, we never really see the turtles have a strong desire to be human. Mikey sometimes doesn't understand that humans will be scared of him, but he never lashes out and has a big moment like, 'I want to be a human so I can make more friends!' We see Mikey wonder what he'd look like as a human in an episode after Donnie creates retromutagen - with Mikey assuming if he used retromutagen on himself he'd turn human and not back into a regular turtle.

It is played as a joke, though, and he doesn't seem genuinely upset by the fact he's stuck as a turtle, as he is seen smiling after saying he wondered what he'd look like.

Interestingly enough, Donnie is the one to be portrayed as having a negative view attached to being a mutant more than any of his brothers.

Outside of being a mutant, it is implied that Donnie already has a fragile self-image anyway.

Remember the episode Turtle Temper? I think it's the third episode of the first season. But at one point, the other turtles are instructed to shoot arrows at Raph, while Raph has to try and avoid the arrows. Splinter makes it clear, however, that Mikey, Leo, and Donnie are allowed to insult Raphael during the exercise.

I've seen another content creator say that the insults they throw at Raphael could be more them self-projecting views they have on themselves rather than them actually thinking these things about their brother. Leo says, 'And you're always whining, poor me, nobody understands me.'

While this is easily applicable to Raph as an insult from Leo - Leo does have his own fair share of moments where he has gone to Splinter complaining that the others aren't listening to him or respecting him, that they don't understand the burden he has to hold as leader.

Mikey tells Raph he moves like a bloated buffalo - which, although never hinted at in the show, could imply that maybe Mikey is insecure about how much he eats. Maybe his brothers have made comments about his greediness.

Donnie says, 'Oh! You can't keep your back straight during Omote kote Gyaku! And you're ugly!'

I think the first part is interesting as Donnie is the tallest out of his brothers - gangly limbs could mean Donnie has more difficulty knowing how to stand, how to sit, so on so forth. A lot of tall people can feel really awkward as a result of their height.

Donnie most likely is sat over a desk all day, and again, being tall, Donnie has more of a slouched posture out of his brothers. I think it was Karai that also insults Donnie in an episode by calling him scrawny, in which he responds, 'And I'm not scrawny! I'm svelte!' Svelte meaning slender and elegant.

Raph has also insulted Donnie's looks before in an episode, and again, it is unclear if this is a common occurrence, but knowing 2012 Raph's character, it's probably happened on more than one occasion.

Donnie : And why do you keep grabbing me by the face? What is wrong with my face?!

Raph: Do you want me to list the reasons alphabetically or in descending order of grossness?

So regardless of being mutated or not, it seems Donnie just has a generalised lack of confidence and some issues surrounding how tall he is.

But to his issues regarding being mutated.

Donnie might've previously not had any issues with being a mutant. Before, it might've been just a general lack of confidence, as I have already said. But in society, looks are always seen as a good trait to possess if you want to have any shot at a love life. You need to fit into the beauty standards and be attractive if you want a partner.

Before April, his brothers would've been the only thing to compare himself to. He lived in a home with only mutants for fifteen years of his life - so had normal teenager issues of going through puberty and insecurities. A lot of people can feel odd/uncomfortable and dislike their growth spurts, which is why Donnie's issues at first might seem like normal things for a teenager to worry about. Donnie's biggest issue would've been how scrawny and lanky he saw himself.

But when they meet April, there is a glaring difference.

Suddenly, there is somebody in his life who isn't a mutant like him. It becomes abundantly clear to Donnie that from somebody else's standpoint, their biggest issue with him wouldn't be his tooth gap or his height, but just the plain fact that he's so different. Inhuman. Out of the ordinary. A mutant.

When he's rambling to Timothy (Mutagen Man at this point) about why April might be on a date with some punk kid (Casey) the conclusion he resorts to is, 'Because he's human, that's why.'

At the end of the episode A Foot Too Big, when Donnie apologises to April, he says, 'I'm just... a mutant.' Again, this shows Donnie jumps to the conclusion that this is why April doesn't want to be with him, not his overbearing nature or the fact that she just genuinely might not be interested. The problem in Donnie's mind is that he's mutated.

The fact that Donnie used the word 'just' implies that being a mutant is all that Donnie has boiled himself down to. He thinks that his other traits aren't worthwhile or good - like him being funny, smart, inventive - because he thinks that nobody would pay attention to those aspects of his personality. At the end of the day, he thinks nobody will be able to see him outside of being a monster.

In Fungus Humungous, the hallucination of April that Donnie experiences calls him an 'ugly mutant freak'. It is unlikely April actually thinks this of Donnie, but it's what Donnie thinks she does because it's his biggest fear. I'd like to split Donnie's hallucination into two parts. April insulting Donnie about being a mutant, and Donnie's hallucination of April kissing Casey.

We see April kissing Casey. I think the fact that this part of the hallucination comes second is meant to represent this fear of rejection and insecurity surrounding being a mutant are two sides of the same coin. His fear of April choosing Casey is a by-product of his main insecurity. We are shown April calling Donnie an 'ugly mutant freak' first. Donnie isn't afraid to lose April as a person to Casey. He's afraid of losing his only hope at feeling confident to Casey.

In the first half of the hallucination, it shows that April uses a sharp tongue like a whip.

This tongue is shown to go through Donnie's heart and subsequently breaks it.

"To have a sharp tongue" means to be quick to criticize, speak harshly, or make cutting remarks; essentially, someone who is often unkind or sarcastic with their words.

I think this represents that, over anything, it is April's words that break his heart more than her actions. It is her disgust at him being a mutant that shatters him. It's what makes him crack in the episode. He starts screaming, runs away, and shouts that he, 'doesn't want to hear anymore.' This is Donnie's breaking point. Her sharp tongue and words, over her actions like kissing Casey, that is Donnie's true biggest fear.

Donnie doesn't want to be with April purely because he loves her. To Donnie, it would be more than April simply making a choice on who to partner up with. It would be confirmation for Donnie that the issue all along was because he's a mutant.

The point I'm trying to make is that Donnie is more obsessed with trying to improve his own self-image than he is obsessed with April as a person.

He wants to use April as a means to prove someone could love him despite appearances because, as I said earlier, looks are important to a lot of people. Gaining a romantic partner would most likely grant Donnie the confidence, the consolidation that he 'isn't ugly after all' because someone managed to fall in love with him. That is why he so desperately chases after April.

He chases after the feeling of confidence.

His character kills me.

[solreefs]

I have a vast pit of despair inside me at all times but I think I’m pretty happy other than that

[unproduciblesmackdown]

omgg lol [guy who won't stop going "more like scapeGOATED" voice] now hold! on!! lmao [same guy just saw encanto voice] Hold on!!!

[maliro-t]

some game design thinky thoughts.

[kedreeva]

I discovered the ability to play on "hardcore" mode in Minecraft, which is where the difficulty is set to hard and if you die, that's it. Which is weirdly enticing, so I gave it a shot.

The first time I tried it, I pretty immediately died. Like, I did not last an entire hour.

But, I recently had a world where I survived over 100 days, and almost all of those day were spent in a Dark Oak Forest biome, which is one of the more dangerous ones. I built a 3-story house with a greenhouse, a wine cellar, a mine shaft, agriculture and livestock farming and more. I was slowly exploring the verdant cave below my home. I stepped backward into lava and couldn't get out again, while I was on the phone with a friend. Don't chat and play, I suppose lol

I restarted on a random seed, and there were several nice biomes within view (jungle, flower, desert, badlands, birch forest). I could see a village in the distance, so I headed that way first and found a massive abandoned mine just outside of town. I didn't go too far in, but there were some chests of goodies near some of the entrances. I tamed a few wolves and a cat, and I just took off into the distance. I spent the first 20+ days just kind of wandering the wilderness with my dogs, camping out at night. I picked a random nice spot in a broad Birch Forest to toss down my stuff and build a home, mostly because my hands were full.

I'm close to 50 "days" in, and I've spent most of it out gallivanting. I went out to find a village to tame a second cat, so I could have more at-will, and to find a Striped Wolf out in those badlands (successful). I spent days looking for a Spotted Dog in the savannas that looked like plateaus (unsuccessful, and I lost my cat and had to go BACK and get ANOTHER one). I finally returned home and this is the view from my front windows, just before I logged for the evening.

Something about only having one life makes the game a little more charming than usual. I mean, it's always charming, but I've been taking more time to look around at the worlds I won't be returning to when I finally bite it. Making sure I take a minute to appreciate the views, pat the doggos, look in the nooks and crannies for things I might like, since I won't get to come back. I mean, I can come back but I can't Come Back, y'know?

The same is true of real life, obviously. There are an increasing number of things that want us dead, but there are still sunsets out the window, and doggos to be pat, and little treasures to be found if we're looking for them. I think that's worth sticking around as long as I can.

[whimsyvixen]

𝔼𝕞𝕡𝕥𝕪 𝔹𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕤

Silent Hill Fic Rating: 18+ Pairing: Pyramid Head x Female Reader Synopsis/Excerpt: His helmet had jerked your way, the sudden movement making your heart drop to your stomach. You couldn't look away from him, mouth agape at the towering menace. You didn't understand how, but you felt him peruse your form--nausea hitting you when he let out a guttural growl and headed straight for you. WARNINGS/TAGS: Dark fic, rape/noncon elements, extremely dubious consent, explicit content, blood play, heavy NSFW, teratophilia(?), monster/human, choking, dacryphilia, rough sex, unprotected sex, forced orgasm, tummy bulge, creampie, very obvious size difference. ⚠�� READ THE TAGS: Please be aware this work contains content that the reader may feel uncomfortable with or otherwise triggered by. DO NOT READ if bothered by tags (no minors). ⚠️

A/N: I had to make sure to finish this one before Halloween! Sorry for the long wait, you guys! I got no tricks with me so I'm just going to hand over this little treat right here ! 🍬

You hid beneath a large table, hands over your mouth to control your breathing as the floor shook. You could feel your heart beating intensely, the organ wanting to burst out of your chest as pure terror seized you when the footsteps paused near your hiding spot.

He was right in front of you. The only being you encountered in the desolate town of Silent Hill.

The monster. 

~

He had emerged out of an alley, swarmed by bugs as he trudged his way through, his massive frame freezing you in place. His head was encumbered by a steel frame, pyramid in its shape and heavy in appearance if his tortured groans were anything to go by. His scarred torso and bulging arms were bare, showcasing the immense power he held as he dragged a massive knife behind him.

You couldn't contain your gasp when you caught sight of it.

His helmet had jerked your way, the sudden movement making your heart drop to your stomach. You couldn't look away from him, mouth agape at the towering menace. You didn't understand how, but you felt him peruse your form--nausea hitting you when he let out a guttural growl and headed straight for you.

Fuck!

You bolted then, nearly tripping over your own feet in your desperation to get away from him. With the amount of blood soaking him and those unnerving growls, you weren't willing to take a chance and find out what he would do to you. Too afraid to look back, you continued running in the abandoned town, losing sight of where you were as you tried to find somewhere to hide. 

What buildings you could make out were old and rundown, their windows smashed and doors creaking ominously. They would not provide you with the cover you needed. You could faintly hear him behind you, breaking into a cold sweat when you turned your head and couldn't spot him in the dense fog. 

When you caught sight of the abandoned school, your lungs felt like bursting and your legs ached from overexerting yourself to run. Your body needed to rest before you collapsed from the fatigue. It was a large enough building that finding you would be a tasking ordeal for the monster. Perhaps he would give up his search for you and allow you to find a way out of this hellish place. You could only hope that you lost him earlier and he wouldn’t know where you crawled off to. 

Running up the steps to the entrance, you were met with the despairing sight of chains wrapped around the steel doors. 

“No, no, no…” you pleaded, grabbing onto the chains in hopes they were loose enough to open the doors. Luck was on your side, because they were– chains pulling taut around the doors, opening just enough to allow someone to squeeze through with some difficulty. Struggling to wiggle your way through, you pushed with all your might and breathed a sigh of relief when you fell inside. 

Taking deep breaths, you looked around and tried to make sense of your surroundings. Needing to squint your eyes to adjust seeing in the dark, you could see a narrow hallway with dirty and rusty lockers lined along the walls. It was an uncanny sight, the broken down doors of the classrooms and splintering wood of the floor making you realize how decrepit this place was. It was so unkempt and old that you flinched when the floorboards creaked with every step you took. You felt like dying every time the floor protested your weight and critters ran spooked by the noise.

The hall turned a sharp corner to the left, more lockers and doors appearing on either side of the walls as before. It was then you noticed the broken elevator, the metal frame twisted in sharp angles and torn cables dangling from tears in the ceiling. If there was an elevator here, then that must mean there was a way up! 

Not caring this time about the noise you made, you hurried to the end of the hall trying to see if you could find some way to get to the second floor. If you could just get there, you would have the advantage of viewing who (or what) was below you on the ground. Maybe even spot a route or path out of this place. Passing by the restrooms, you nearly gagged when a putrid stench hit your nose. The buzzing of flies and roaches in the area made you squeamish, your face scrunching into a disgusted grimace at the dirty facilities before continuing your trek forward.

Finding the stairs was a much harder task than you expected. Faced with multiple locked areas of the building, you were forced to backtrack and navigate through other sections of the building to find another way up. It seemed like a dead end everywhere you turned. 

Just when you were about to give up, you finally spotted stairs leading to the upper floor. 

“Finally,” you muttered in exasperation. Your turtle neck shirt was damp with your sweat, clinging to your body so uncomfortably that you would definitely need a shower soon. Placing a hand on the cracked wall nearest you, you took a breather, closing your eyes as you tried to get your energy back up again. 

“Just a little bit more. Don’t give up yet.” 

Forcing your aching feet to move, you headed tiredly towards the stairs. Once you reached them, you walked up to the landing, turning left to continue climbing forward when you noticed something. 

“You have got to be kidding me?!”

A disbelieving look crossed your face. In front of you was a dilemma that nearly made you scream in frustration. The only way to the upper floor was barricaded with chairs and tables, furniture piled up haphazardly along the second set of stairs as if to ensure no one could get by it. It effectively put a stop to your plans. 

Maybe you could climb over the obstruction? No, you couldn’t risk something falling out of place and crushing you with its weight, causing you harm in the end. You thought about using the railing to skip past the hurdle of furniture, but hearing the creak of the brittle handrail when you held it had you rethinking that idea. Placing your hands on your hips, you tried thinking of how to get past this obstacle. Maybe taking it apart little by little would help?

Seeing as you had no choice, you started dismantling the barricade one chair at a time. The tables were too heavy and had your arms shaking from the effort of pulling them so you left them for last. Once you piled up enough chairs to give you room to move one of the tables, you shook your hands to prepare them to take the brunt of the weight. 

While you were busy with this task, you didn’t know you damned yourself.

What you didn’t know was when you squeezed through the gap of the entrance, your sweater caught on an edge and tore a strip of the pink cloth. You didn’t know it was like a beacon, its vibrant color contrasting from the dull and bleak setting of the school. You didn’t know he held it in his bloodied hand, bringing it to his hidden face as if to smell you. You didn’t see the shudder that went through him. You also didn't see him bursting through the shackled entrance of the school, breaking the chain to pieces as the steel doors lay bent beneath his foot.

However, you did feel the building shake following a loud crash. 

Startled at the muffled explosion, you released the legs of the table you were holding, crouching as you looked around wildly. The echoed sounds of doors being forced open could then be heard even from a distance. Lockers were slammed and torn off the walls, the clash of metal producing an awful screeching sound that resonated across the empty building.

What?! What was that?! You panicked internally, palms sweating as you hid behind the railing. What could’ve made that thunderous sound? Was it him?! It couldn’t be, could it? Trembling with fear, you realized you were a sitting duck. You couldn't go back the way you came or you’ll risk facing what caused that loud commotion.

When you heard a familiar growl, you couldn’t stop the tiny sob escaping your lips. It was HIM! When his steps edged closer to your location, your eyes wandered desperately around your cornered space and spotted a clothed table at the bottom of the stairs. Running down the stairs, you all but crawled beneath the table, tucking your feet in as you tried to make yourself as small as possible. You didn’t have any other option. The cloth provided you with enough cover to pull off not being seen and you could only pray you weren't found.

Eyes wide with fear, you held your breath when he turned the corner, the floor trembling with every heavy step of his boots. You could also hear the scrape of the giant sword he dragged with him, the shrill sound hurting your ears. You nearly bolted when you heard the locker doors being opened one by one before getting slammed shut.

Oh God, please, don't let him find me. Please, please, please. You shut your eyes tightly, clasping your hands against your mouth as you tried to keep as quiet as you could. The corner of your eyes teared up, a lump in your throat wanting to give way to sobs of distress the closer he got.

~

His trudging steps slowed as he surveyed the area. 

Pyramid Head tilted his head curiously, his helmet creaking with the action. He didn’t know where you hid but he could sense you near. When he pressed that piece of fabric to his helmed head, your intoxicating aroma set his nerves of fire, twisting his mind into a lustful haze–the urge to pillage and kill you getting stronger by the minute. 

When he heard that soft gasp earlier in the alley, he was stunned by your feminine form mere meters away from him. You were a small thing compared to him, the top of your head not even reaching his chest. Whatever surprise he felt was momentary, desire quickly flooding his veins as he drank in your lovely shape. How long since a pretty thing like you entered this infernal domain? How easy would it be to subdue you and make you a slave to his lust? What sounds could he coax from those wet lips of yours? His member twitched to life beneath his withered skirt, the thought of possessing you clouding his mind with lascivious images of your naked body beneath him.

When he took a step towards you, you ran like a frightened lamb.

Watching you turn around to flee– the distance growing between you with every passing second– Pyramid Head gripped his weapon tightly, anger consuming him as he followed right after you. 

As if he would allow you to escape him. 

He would take you. Tarnish that soft flesh and desecrate your soul until you were nothing but a bloody heap beneath him. 

He just needed to catch you first. 

Opening the lockers one by one, he couldn’t suppress his frustrated grumbles when you weren’t there. Where were you? He shifted his attention to the familiar clutter of furniture on the staircase, noting how neatly some chairs were piled in a corner–knowing that the times he’s ventured here, the chairs were never tampered in such a way. 

Realizing how close he must be to capturing you, he started up the stairs, dropping his weapon without a care as he tore down the barricade in a frenzy to find you. 

When his search proved fruitless, the veins in his arms and neck became more prominent from his fury. WHERE WERE YOU? Blind with rage, he smashed his fists against the broken furniture and the rotting walls, tearing everything in his wake as he roared loud enough to make his helmet vibrate violently from the sound. It hurt enough to cause him to rupture something and bleed, trails of blood dripping down his neck to mix with the blood of his other victims.

As he stood breathing heavily on the landing of the stairs, trying to shake off the cloud of anger consuming him, a faint creak was heard downstairs. He twisted his body to look behind him, crazily observing the area where he heard it from. 

There was a lone table. The once white cloth adorning it was an ugly shade of brown, time not being kind to as it had torn holes ruining it. He could care less about the useless piece of cloth. What had his undivided attention was the dainty fingers that could be seen poking out beneath it. 

There was a moment of silence before he charged down the stairs. 

Gripping the sides of the table, he flung it across the hall, old wood shattering to pieces when it smacked against the railing of the stairs. He paid little mind to the destruction he created, his focus landing entirely on your meek figure below him. A look of horror crossed your face, mouth open in shock as you stared up at him. A rumble of contentment echoed within his helmet having finally found his prize, quickly dropping down to his knees to grab you and pin you between his legs.

It didn’t take much to overpower you, Pyramid Head sitting on your thighs to lessen your squirming. Bunching the pink fabric in his hands, he tore your sweater apart like paper, your startled scream doing little to deter him. His bloodied hands groped the exposed flesh hungrily, smudging your torso with the red substance as you shrieked in disgust. The way the softness of your tummy gave under his firm hands had him addicted. He loved how weak and pliant your flesh was.

Your mounds were a sight too, spilling off the cups of the small band around your chest. He tore that off easily too, your bust jiggling from the action and making him groan at the sight. Much to his pleasure, he saw your skin pebble with goosebumps, the cool air of the room turning your nipples into tight buds.

His hands moved, thick fingers stroking over your breasts to test the doughy texture. You gasped, arching from the pressure, unknowingly pushing your chest against his palms. Much to your chagrin, the rough pads of his fingers sent a fire bolt careening from your nipples and through your quivering belly to ignite heat into your core. You bit your lip, ignoring the sensation as you tried shoving his hands away with your feeble strength. When he tugged harshly on the tips of your breasts, you let out a pained whine, the kittenish sound sending a shock of pleasure down his spine. He wished to tear you apart, bathe in your essence as he drank up your tortured cries.

He was reluctant to pull his hands away from you, your body smeared in a beautiful canvas of blood, but his need to fully claim you could not be denied.  Pyramid Head removed his hands from your breasts with a final rough squeeze, shifting one to rub his erection to alleviate some of his need, while the other hand trailed down to caress your clothed hip possessively.

He was bewitched by you, reverently stroking your skin with bloodied hands to dirty your purity. Shielding your breasts from his view, you were a vision with your head turned to the side, choking on a sob as you realized that despite how your mind protested his brutish touches, your body betrayed you when slickness dripped between your thighs.

At war with yourself, you didn't pay attention when his attention turned to the last article of clothing preserving your modesty.

Easing up on his weight, he shifted his body down to tug at your black jeans. When the tight fabric stuck around your hips, he grew irritated at the minor inconvenience. Before you could voice out a protest, he roughly flipped you over onto your stomach, shock coursing through you when he tore the denim to shreds at your sides, dragging the rest of it down your legs and taking your panties and shoes with them.

You could feel the heat in your face at the state of your nudity. He caressed your ass then– forcing an undignified yelp from you at the offensive touch– squeezing the globes on either palm, his nails digging into the fat hard enough to leave lasting bruises on your unblemished skin. 

"N-no! You're hurting me!" 

You hissed between your teeth, sharp aches blossoming from where his fingers pressed on your ass. You shivered with disgust when the blood on his hands dirtied your globes, matching it with the mess of your front.

Brushing a calloused finger along your vulva, he was met with the heat of your pussy. It had your body jerking to attention, the blood draining from your face in an instant. When he tried to insert the bloody finger inside you, you shook erratically, your hands scrambling for purchase on the floor to get away from him. 

Tired of your antics, he twisted you to your back, uncaring of the yelp that left you when the back of your head hit the floor with a loud thud. Holding you down with one hand around your neck, he nearly choked you as he began pulling impatiently at the fastenings of his long skirt to jerk himself free with his other. His body shook with excitement, enticed by your naked flesh even as you begged sweetly under him. 

He paid little mind to your frantic scratching on his arm, the pain miniscule when compared to the hard throbbing of his cock— the twitching member pulsating so strongly that it had his mind blazing from the painful pressure, a groan of distress escaping him the longer it was kept confined. Pain that would only be soothed once he was encompassed by the tight walls of your pussy. 

~

The state of your mind went into a panic when you saw it. What lay between those muscled thighs was a monstrosity. It would bring you nothing but pure anguish and misery, the way it could barely spring upward with its heavy weight. Accompanied by an equally heavy set of balls and prominent veins lining the length of it– it was more of an instrument of pain than that of pleasure, meant to punish and brutalize those that fell victim to it. 

A whimper left you before you started thrashing in earnest, clawing away at his arm to get away from that. 

"LET GO OF ME! NO! Y-YOU CAN'T-!" 

You didn't care that he could snap your neck in a second, didn't care that he could rip you limb from limb or crush your head with his bare hands. Those were much better options than the alternative he was hellbent on pursuing. 

What the hell?! How can he be that bi-!!? Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt monstrous hands grip your knees and pull them apart savagely, screaming at the painful ache in your pelvis following the rough motion. He knelt between your spread legs, his large thighs forcing you open and leaving you unable to close your legs.

"W-wait! Wait! Think about what you're doing, please?! It's not possi-?!" 

The blunt head of his cock tapped your entrance, the pearl of precum mixing with your wetness as he tried to nudge his way in. His size proved too much for your smaller frame, his dick sliding up your vulva in a failed attempt to penetrate you. The insistent push of his hips had you holding your breath, body freezing in place when the head of his cock threatened to breach your cunt only to slide along your labia once more. 

The rough motion had you panting, the repeated nudging on your clit causing your pelvis to twitch from the erotic stimulation. You couldn’t stop your body’s reaction to him, a pulsating heat shimmering beneath your skin. Taking a glance down, you shuddered at the sight of his cock sandwiched between your spread lips. It had your feminine channel burning for him despite your fear of him. Shame accompanied your arousal as you felt more of your natural fluids coating the underside of his dick and flowing down your ass in rivulets.

While you lay gasping at the dizzying sensation, you were ignorant to his growing agitation when he missed his mark again. He raised your hips higher, giving himself a better view of your leaking hole before grabbing his wet shaft with one hand and lining himself up once more. This time he was determined to properly defile you.

Your eyes fluttered open when he adjusted you, looking up at him in confusion as you tried to clear your mind. The momentary pleasure he had given you was obliterated in a second when you felt the press of his cock head stab its first inch inside your dripping pussy. 

Like a bucket of cold water hitting your face, you shrieked when the reality of your situation set in. Flinching from his touch, you tried twisting your hips away from him hoping to dislodge the stiff cock from its journey inside you. 

"No! You won't fit!"

Bucking your hips uselessly, you failed to realize that your swirling hips moved pleasantly around the tip, a dribble of cum shooting out of his cock to coat your insides– making you gasp when you felt it and him shudder strongly at the feel of your sweet cunt. Seeing how you were so lubricated for him, he repositioned himself above you, bracing a foot on the floor while keeping the other leg bent at the knee. Grabbing the back of your knees, he pushed them forward near your head, effectively placing you in a mating press of sorts.

Not giving you any time to protest, he thrusted half of himself in one diligent push.

You yelped at the sudden pain, eyes nearly popping out of your face as you felt your pussy stretch beyond its limit. Glimmer of tears rushed to your eyes, the pain making your mouth wobble as he pulled away– the drag of his cock against your inner walls nearly causing you to faint– only to cry out when he thrusted back in with more force. More of his cock violated your sore insides, rendering you a screaming mess as he continued to plunder your wrecked form. Too scared to look at the damage between your legs, you pushed against his firm stomach, pleading for him to stop or he'll kill you. 

A sharp jab into your swollen flesh had you crying out, arching your back as tears trailed down your face. No manner of preparation could’ve made his passage bearable, the stark difference between his gargantuan size and your regular size evident as you struggled to accommodate him.

He took you like a brute. Not caring about your distressed wails.

It hurt.

Maybe the pain was making you delirious, but beneath the agony, there was a thread of pleasure seeping through the cracks. You refused to believe it, the thought of your body betraying you in such a way nearly crumbling you.

…

…

 Then why were your hips moving timidly alongside his?

~

His hands bit into your sides, Pyramid Head lifting your lower body off the floor to smack against him, driving the rest of his cock inside your spasming pussy with a low groan.

It was a tight fit. 

Once the entirety of his throbbing cock was seathed inside your warm heat, he took the time to glance down at you. You were a sweaty mess of blood and tears, pained gasps emerging from your trembling lips as your body twitched uncontrollably from his claiming of you. Your entrance was stretched taut around his engorged cock, the blood smeared on your pelvis making him wonder if it was yours or from him. 

He was immune to your choked sobs, not feeling the least bit remorseful of his violent taking of you. Rather, he was pleased you survived. Many didn’t make it past this stage, but you proved to be a pleasant surprise. 

The snug walls of your cunt suddenly clenched around his dick, nearly making him cum on the spot. 

He pulled his hips back, hissing when your walls clamped down on him, making the task difficult before driving forward with purpose. Before long, your soaked entrance made his movements easier, his dick sliding much faster inside your straining pussy. Pained cries turned into soft mewls, your hips eventually moving in tandem with his with every brush of your clit. 

He paused midthrust to stare at the bulge in your tummy in fascination. It was a ghastly sight– the way your lower belly distended from his cock penetrating you. He pressed on the bump in an inquisitive manner, jolting in shock when your channel clenched around him erratically, a stream of fluid splashing on his lower belly following your loud shriek. 

The shock was momentary, Pyramid Head rubbing your secretion between his fingers to play with the strings. Bringing them beneath the helm of his helmet, he was overtaken with the smell of your lust. Even though you couldn’t meet his gaze, you could feel him staring at you in a hungry manner. He gave you little time to be embarrassed, hunching over you to place your legs above his elbows, spreading you further and spearing into you with brutal thrusts.

He couldn't stop the rapid succession of thrusts, driving into you faster and faster as his release built up with every plunge inside you.

~

You twisted helplessly, opening your mouth to voice out your pleasure as fire spread throughout your body. His fierce pace had you writhing wildly beneath him, shaking your head at the growing tension in your stomach– signaling another approaching orgasm. You didn’t want him to stop. Your womb clenched with every harsh jab of his monstrous dick against it, the pressure escalating with every second of your ruin.

“O-oh! Please, please, please–!!” You sobbed, not knowing if you wanted him to stop his rough onslaught on your poor body or begging for more as his hips collided violently between the juncture of your thighs. The wet slap of skin on skin echoed along the hall, your passionate cries and his low groans forever imprinted on your mind. Your legs grew tired, falling lax on either side of him, unable to keep up with his vigorous pace. 

He used you like nothing more than a cocksleeve, molding the shape of his cock in your tight pussy, his sac slapping lewdly against your ass.

It became too much. 

Your mind went blank when the knot in your belly finally snapped, letting out a scream of completion when intense heat spread throughout your shaking body. Your vaginal walls gripped him tightly, trying to milk him for all his worth, the sudden tightness forcing a growl to emerge from him. Tears escaped you, the painful pleasure driving you mad in his embrace.

White lights danced behind your eyelids, your orgasm turning you into a puddled mess of ecstasy even as he continued to ravage you.

The last thing you felt before closing your eyes in exhaustion was a scorching heat filling your insides, calloused fingers rubbing the bump in your tummy in wonder.

❣️🖤❣️Thank you for reading~! ❣️🖤❣️

I got another treat for my dear followers! You gotta know I'm posting NSFW Art to go with my fics as well~ (*^ ‿ <*)♡

🎃Happy Halloween, you guys! Stay safe out there!🎃

Full NSFW Art here ---> (⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ⁠)

[tossawary]

One piece of acting advice that has stayed with me for years in regards to both writing and drawing as well is: "Don't use the body to act what the character is saying. Act what the character is THINKING."

Like, as a very, very basic example: a character is apologizing by saying, "I'm sorry." But that line is going to look and sound different depending on what the character is thinking. Crossed arms and a sullen tone can mean that a character is actually thinking: "I don't mean it and also I hate you." A pleading tone and reaching out to take the other character's arm can mean: "Please don't leave me." A tired voice and slumped shoulders within context could mean: "I did what I had to do."

This is one way to begin to do "Show, Don't Tell" in storytelling. It is trusting your audience to see the depth and to catch on to the things you leave unsaid. It's fun to let the audience be observant and clever. It is also reflective of real life, where people are often scared of being vulnerable, or don't necessarily even understand their own emotions, or can't articulate their own thoughts, or have difficulty identifying the true feelings of the people around them, and so don't say very much.

There are exceptions to this advice, of course. In writing especially, rather than in a visual medium, some POV characters are very good at reading emotions from body language and others are not, and their observations in the narration may reflect this skill. Some characters will assume everyone around them is always angry with them or simply not pay attention to other people's moods at all, personalities which can also be subtly communicated to the audience and later used in the story in some interesting way.

Some characters have excellent control over their body language and tone of voice, because they are on-guard, highly trained in some fashion, or a very good liar. They will not easily communicate their true thoughts through their body language or their actions. Their lie can be so good that it can be slipped past the audience as nothing important to the plot until it comes back to bite. Their oddly perfect control over their body in a tense situation can instead maybe be used to indicate to the POV character and/or the audience: "Oh, there's something up with this person."

Body language will also change by culture and class and disability and so on. This clash can cause communication problems between characters, as a character's affectionate pat on the shoulder of another might be intended as casual comfort, but be received as overly intimate condescension. Different cultures / people can even have very different opinions on what level of eye contact and overlapping speech is rude.

This advice was originally given to me in the context of illustration and animation, in which it is very common for inexperienced artists to act out the words that the character is saying in mime-like gesture. In media for young children, we might choose to keep things very simple, as toddlers struggle to learn what it looks like and feels like to be angry or happy. But past that? People don't really behave this way. What we say and what we really mean are not always synchronized, and we can use the body to communicate this.

[the-tarot-witch22]

How your future spouse will treat you - Pick a Pile

Pile 1/ Pile 2/ Pile 3

Liked my blog or readings? Tip me! | My Paid Readings

Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!

Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!

How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!

I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!

Pile 1:

(The cards I got for you guys - 2 of swords, king of pentacles, 5 of swords, ace of cups, 7 of pentacles, ace of wands, 10 of swords, judgement and 9 of pentacles)

Okay so the first thing i feel is they will treat you like a princess you are, they way you deserve to be treated. By listening to you, by treating your inner child, doing things for you, giving your surprises. For some of you who chose this pile there is anxious or nervous energy, like you don't actually believe you could be treated or loved this way, sometimes you end up choosing the path which is difficult or has difficulty in decision making, I also heard some of you waiting or still waiting for their loved one even if they don't show it, this is just feeling i got when i started doing your reading. Okay so let's talk about your cards, I feel they will have quite many decisions to make about you, like what do you need what do you actually want, how can they prepare things for you i also see them being confused just because they want to give you the best, some of the surprises they plan is hidden but i tried to channel it, it could be necklaces jewelry, or some expensive things planning trips for you, I also feel they will blindfold you a lot while they give you gifts, or surprises just to see your happy expression, honestly? they love that. I also feel they like fine things in their life and will give that to you as well, their love language is def gift giving and act of services, they will make the best of what they have, i heard "I will never disappoint you, darling", your love for me and everything you do for me, i am just so grateful, you deserve the best", so sweet!, I also feel they will be like a kid around you, dping silly things, giving you memories and love to hold on to, honestly the way you want to be treated and loved, they seem determined to make you feel loved and the way you deserve, They will spoil you with riches, i heard gift so many times so cute, if you are sick? they will wash your hair or help you wash them, prepare soup for you, no matter if they know cooking or not, this pile or their future spouse might like to read too, they are honestly a softie at heart, but just cover it up well with their hard exterior persona, I see them making the decisions which will help you both, they will push you out of your comfort zone to do things you never thought of doing or just too scared to do, they will help you become the better version of yourself, showing the love in the way they can, i see a picture or thing where you both go out grocery shopping, and he will be like let me hold it, and you just pick things, and he will hold it for you, there also might be conflicts because of change in opinion or your some different beliefs but i feel he will be apologizing to you for making you feel that way. They will not disrespect you or make a joke that will break you but most likely they will support you if someone is disrespecting you? they won't tolerate they will stood up for you, or at least calm the situation, i heard "hopeless romantic" so it could be you or them for sure, they will make you feel at ease and peace, you inner child will be safe with them, you don't have to feel you have to do something to earn his attention it's already yours, "when i look at you or think of you the world seems to stop and I don't know what i can do to make myself at ease, i just wanna meet you now" the emotions , the love everything will flow easily, you might also be their passenger princess, they will hold on to you cherish you, put efforts in the love and relationship, they would not want to lose you and they will make sure you know, I also feel outside you are very respectful couples, but at home you are very freaky like tear off my clothes type, best combo honestly, they will make you feel more loved and confident in your own body, I strongly feel you both will go through ups and down but make it out stronger than ever, i heard "i will worship the ground you walk on". You both are emotionally and financially stable couples, communication is very important for you guys.

Wow pile 1, they kept giving me messages, so sweet, i love it!

Pile 2:

(The cards I got for you guys - 3 of cups, the chariot, the empress, page of cups and ace of swords)

Okay so the first thing i feel is they will treat you with utmost respect, even in bed or normal setting they will be treating you with such sincerity, they respect your wishes. I see them losing them in you. They are quite dominant or seductive, but also polite, they will be very soft spoken towards you, I also feel your relationship will be still playful, but with respect and boundaries and that's why i got the message of him being respectful towards you, I feel they will give you the things you desire the most and need, they will take care of health and even career wise, like asking if you are okay, is there new issues in your life regarding it, for some of you they would tell you to take it easy when you're distressed or not happy with what you have been doing, i feel they will try to motivate you, heal you, make you move forward towards the thing you wanna do , encourage you regarding your career or even personal life, they will be okay with whatever you do, as long as you are with them, they will trust you a lot too i feel, very it's super important in your life and with him, I feel he will be making sure you know that he have your back no matter what, i heard "my eyes won't leave you, no matter where you are you stay in my heart and head all the time, and it's not like i am complaining, I also feel they will be giving you baits to be with them more lol, like so you don't go to work and stay with them, their love language could be words of affirmation too, they will not let a single day go by that they won't show that to you, you will mean a lot to them, they will nurture you, you know a saying the more you cherish something they stay forever? that's kind of mindset they have, they won't like to be separated with you, they might also like to give you space, but also suffer because they wanna cling on to you so bad, very motherly vibe too, for some of you could be cancer moon? or you guys are, I also feel he will make sure you have eaten no matter how upset you are, check in with you, if you went to the hospital alone? and they were busy so they will call you and ask you what has happened are you okay, what did the doctor say, they don't or won't abandon you in any hardship you both go through, I also feel they are very young or pure hearted, they don't or won't make you upset or try not to, your anger with them, will only make them fall harder lol, so cute, with them you will see love, marriage and relationships with new perspective, maybe some of you have bad opinion on marriage, they will change that, i also feel they are very open minded and have good beliefs. I also see a situation where they text you every morning, and tell you how appreciative they are of you.

Pile 2, your future spouse, is a very loving and honest person, and they will make sure you feel loved everyday.

Pile 3:

(The cards I got for you guys - Ace of cups, 3 of wands, knight of wands, 6 of wands, 8 of pentacles and knight of cups)

Okay so i feel very playfully like so loving in a way, you saw in movies, opening the car gate for you? check? holding your hand while crossing the road? check. Winning things for you in fair or parks, also check. They will treat you like a freaking sweetheart so aggressive love too, but not in a hurting way, you guys have you seen the video where the guy piggyback his girl and say "you are my princess and queen" that's exactly what i channeled when i think about how your fs will treat you. He won't let you do things alone, helping you in every way he can, he might even tell you to don't work so that he can provide you, he would want you to be stress free and at peace with him, i feel a scene where he plans movie nights at home with you, treat you with snack, his love language could be physical touch , he would like to kiss you a lot, a passionate energy from this pile, he is in tune or has a emotional side as well as dark passionate side in bed, you will be in a ride of your life with him, he will be also very protective of you in every way he can, he would not like men being friendly towards you, but honestly nothing in a bad way, more like you are mine type of energy lol, he would like to touch you a lot when you are outside, showing everyone you are with him, He won't let you fall apart again, when you tell him about your past or the relationships you have had he will hate it honestly, for how they treated you, he will even do so much after care after your intimate time with each other, very emotional and sincere, a package honestly, I also feel he will help you explore the hidden parts about yourself, he won't shame, even if you are in wrong, i see him supporting you, but will politely let you know you were wrong, i heard "when i love you, it's only you, no one else", there is some versatilities in your relationship but i see him and you respecting that and still being attracted to each other both emotionally and physically, he will treat you as you are a part of himself, doing things to make you happy like if you want to dance and he doesn't he still will do that, he wants to see you the happiest with him, it's funny how he sending me little nsfw messages for you guys like sir this ain't the right reading for it, but i am still gonna channel got to give you guys what your future spouse wants, no? hehe, I also feel he will sweep you off with his charm like everything even if you are cold hearted or believe in actions , he will just melt you lol, he will also be a very smooth talker, i feel musk scent for some reason?, he will admire you a lot, and treat you as a win, a charm for him, he feels he got lucky he got you and he will show it to you, he is also quite playful with you and likes to tease you but all in a good way, some people could be jealous of your and their dynamic too, for them you are the only one, and that's so loving and admirable, I also feel he will cook dinner for you if you got late from work or anywhere, so that you can rest without stress. They seem so gentle and caring with you.

Such a gentleman! love it for you pile 3.

Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3

[flowersforthemachines]

Some facts about Davrin (and also Grey Wardens and griffons) gathered from the banters

I went through all companion banters on DanaDuchy's channel after playing the game to write down all facts about companions/the world that I haven't seen brought up anywhere in the game as a writing reference (and for funsies).

Note: This list may not be exhaustive. I might have missed some something or didn't write it down because I considered it common knowledge. If you have anything to add, please DM me or send an ask! (do specify what banter the information is coming from, though)

Note 2: Posts from this series (mostly) don't include information from banters specific to quests or between companions and faction members. I plan to do another playthrough to capture more of those and will add any relevant info to the character posts.

Other characters' posts: Bellara, Harding, Lucanis, Emmrich, Neve, Taash. I'm also planning a post about just the Lighthouse some time later

About Davrin

Family and past:

When he was a kid, Davrin broke his arm when his aravel sailed off a ridge 

Davrin stlll considers himself Dalish and thinks that will never change

Davrin hasn’t seen his clan since he left the forest. He misses the clan (‘it comes and goes’), Dalish food – especially halla milk and butter — and the sense of a common purpose. The last is why he joined the Wardens

Eldrin lives on his own, not together with Davrin’s clan

Just like Bellara, when Davrin was little, he wondered what it was like to have his own house, shop at the market and make friends with outsiders

Davrin isn’t bothered by the idea of fighting the Elven gods because he never really believed in them, but he is worried about how the events of the Veilguard will impact the reputation of the elves

General:

Davrin drinks beer and wine

Davrin hums to himself :)

Davrin can speak some Dwarven 

Davrin doesn’t get the Fade - it’s just too many things at once (the place where spirits live, origin of creation etc.). He has difficulties believing it because it’s something he can’t touch or see 

Davrin would’ve left D’meta’s Crossing’s mayor to die

Davrin dumps griffon waste right into the Fade. No reservations about it whatsoever

Life with the Wardens:

Davrin says he never got used to hearing/sensing darkspawn after joining the Wardens

Davrin knows Ramish (protagonist of the Horrors of Hormkar)

The first group of Wardens Davrin fought with had a special system for fighting ogres. One of them would be “Cheese” (bait), drawing the ogre's attention while the others shot it with arrows (so Davrin can either use a bow or was always the Cheese) 

Monster hunting: 

Davrin can't take most books about monsters seriously, as they are not up to his standards

Fighting monsters is all about the thrill of the chase and tracking a target down rather than the victory

Davrin prefers to fight flesh-and-blood monsters rather than demons

Davrin takes full payment upfront when he hunts monsters for coin

Davrin has many monster trophies (Harding finds them disturbing)

Davrin does taxidermy 

Relationships with other companions: 

(In conversations with Bellara and Neve) Davrin genuinely believes Lucanis/Spite can kill them all 

(In conversation with Harding) Davrin proudly says Lucanis couldn’t take him 

Davrin made a little statue with a skull for a face as a gift for Emmrich’s colleague at his request

(If Emmrich becomes a lich) Davrin offers Emmrich to become a monster-hunting team (“Warden and lich. From darkspawn to demons, we've got you covered.”), thinking they could score a lot of coin

Davrin also offers Neve to set up shop together. “Minrathous Monsters and Murders. If it's claws and fangs stirring up trouble, we've got it covered.” Neve suggests Emmrich (and Manfred, if he's alive) joins them

Davrin and Neve met before the events of the Veilagurd on what Neve calls “The Vol Dorma Job”

About Assan and griffons:

Griffons like shiny things. Assan even once stole one of Bellara’s crystals (but later brought it back) 

(If Sent to Arlathan Forest) Griffons seem to 'remember' patrolling the forest, like it's a genetic thing

(If sent to the Wardens) Griffons listen to Evka

There’s no definite age for when a griffon is ready to carry a rider. It’s more about size and discipline 

(If Rook is in romance with Davrin) Assan gets a little moody/jealous after Davrin and Rook get together

Fade spooks Assan, so he doesn’t fly too far away from the Lighthouse 

Assan eats pastries from the kitchen

Assan doesn't like eating vegetables, but Davrin got him to eat carrots after Taash pointed out he needed more fibre in his diet

Assan misses Manfred when he dies

Assan can dive underwater and eat fish

Assan is curious about Neve’s wisps

About Wardens/misc:

Wardens slip Worry Weed into each other’s ale for kicks (it causes paranoia)

There is no definite timeline of how long a blighted person can survive without the Joining. It all depends on the person

Evka is good at telling spooky stories

Weisshaupt has a world-class library with books over a thousand years old

Wooden carvings can become haunted if blood gets on them

Wardens usually eat cold gruel for meals. Nobody knows what's inside it

[dawnslight-aegis]

and that's a wrap on my tarot series! the upright majors, at least. there may be others sometime in the future if I am seized by a combination of insanity and hyperfixation once again.

you might notice a few cards are a bit (or in the case of the fool and alternate chariot, a lot) different! I did a few retakes for consistency/style.

below the read more I've included a bunch of notes about symbolism and reasoning behind my choices if that interests you!

(tag for individual card posts)

0. The Fool: Ardbert was really the only choice for this one. He's our stand-in, our shard, our mirror. Feo Ul is included partially because of lore (they are my co-WoL's shard on the First) and also because they also fit the themes of adventure and new beginnings and exploration. Most of the cards I played pretty loose on the posing vs traditional depictions, but this one I wanted to hew a little closer, which is why he's on a cliff with a foot hanging over the edge a bit, with his axe standing in for the bindle. This is my second attempt at the card -- the first was in Il Mheg, but I moved it to Kholusia (Ardbert's home) and dawn to more closely symbolize that it's the beginning of something. Attempts: 2. Difficulty: 8/10, posing Feo Ul was annoying.

1. The Magician: This card could have had several subjects, chief among them Alphinaud or a more modern G'raha, but I settled on Alisaie a) because the other two cards I had in mind for her (Chariot and Justice) were already taken, and b) the card's focus on physical magic and depicting the "tools of the trade" reminded me a lot of Angelo's creation! So that's why she's here, and why I set the card in Matoya's Relict, among the tools of magicians who came before (Matoya, Y'shtola). I retook the shot because I was unsatisfied with the blurriness/the way the light covered her face in the first one. Attempts: 2. Difficulty: 5/10, simple pose but working with Impact's spell effect complicated things.

2. The High Priestess: Another that I never questioned who would appear on it. Y'shtola's arc is entirely about uncovering forbidden, secret knowledge and wisdom, so she fits beautifully. The blue-white orb and the purple staff depict duality between dark and light, and how Y'shtola walks in two worlds, seeing things that are beyond sight, standing before an altar/holy place to the Night's Blessed. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 2/10. Premade pose, knew where I wanted to place her -- the only thing was finding a prop for her off hand.

3. The Empress: Hoo boy did Minfi give me some trouble. I knew that I wanted our Antecedent, who provides both authority and care for the Scions, to represent the Empress, but I struggled to find a depiction that wasn't, well, boring. Minfilia is deeply linked with the Solar, and I didn't want to lean too hard into Word of the Mother/Hydaelyn territory, so I settled on a triple goddess-like idea. Attempts: 3. Difficulty: 6/10. Not mechanically difficult, just conceptually.

4. The Emperor: Another one that I knew who I wanted but struggled with the concept. Haurchefant is very much emblematic of the stability, structure, and masculinity provided by the Emperor, but it wasn't until I decided to add his equally-Emperor-coded father that things settled into place. Together, Edmont and Haurchefant evoke the image of father and son as well as king and knight, filling both major male authority roles that the Emperor exemplifies. Attempts: 4. Difficulty: 6/10. Same as the Empress.

5. The Hierophant: this one was one of the hardest to choose a subject for -- the WoL's allies are largely a bunch of revolutionary firebrands, and I disagree HEAVILY with the popular choice of placing Aymeric here. So I landed on Alphinaud -- out of the Scions, he is the one most concerned with tradition and the "right" way to do things, with formal education and structure. He wants to bring Sharlayan into the modern day, not upend the institutions that raised him and that he very much still respects, much like how he still respects his very traditionally Hierophant-coded father. So I placed him in his family home with a sort of smug look since he can be a pretentious little shit sometimes (affectionate). The spell effect is from Kardia, and I paid special attention to having the shapes align perfectly with the lines in the background, to give a sense of stability and order to the shot, especially contrasted with Alisaie's more dynamic and chaotic depiction. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 4/10, entirely in alignment.

6. The Lovers: Hrasevelgr and Saint Shiva are a great choice for depicting the Lovers as two people, but no one does the Lovers in one subject better than Ysayle. Invoking the spirit of a woman who died for love in order to bring harmony to her people, but it truly being her own power and her own choice the whole time... it's great. Her pose is her transformation/summoning pose, turned into a gesture of affection, which I was particularly proud of. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 3/10, posing monsters is always a little funky.

7. The Chariot: This one has two options -- my co-WoL, Marz, and Tataru/Cid/Nero for the NPC variant. All 4 characters share a singular drive and refusal to let anything stop them once they've set their mind to something, and the 3 NPCs have the added benefit of being associated with a literal "chariot" in the form of airship design. Marz's place on Shadowkeeper has some lore associations (Cylva is her shard on the 13th) as well as being a void mirror to Kaede's sin eater shot. For both I wanted to have dynamic poses to evoke the activity of the card. Attempts: 1 (Marz), 2 (NPCs). Difficulty: 3/10 for both, no major hurdles once the lovely @/karoiseka pointed me at an airship in NG+.

8. Justice: The heart of the Justice card is its emphasis on truth, and no character in FFXIV is more committed to truth even in the face of great suffering than Aymeric de Borel. Because of this, the shot is taken at the top of the Vault, where he confronted his father over his concealment of the truth of the Dragonsong War. The card is usually depicted with a woman holding a sword and balanced scales -- Aymeric is holding his sword in a pose used in statues in the Pillars, and the symmetry of the shot/light and shadow split down the middle is meant to give the feeling of balance. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 1/10. I knew my concept, location, and shader before I even went in, and it came out exactly like I wanted.

9. The Hermit: Originally I had Urianger for this card, who still fits well, but when I moved him to Wheel of Fortune, there was a clear second choice: The Exarch. He even resembles the Hermit, with his cloak and staff, holding himself in isolation and possessing secret knowledge with which he guides the party. G'raha has grown out of this role as of Endwalker, but the Exarch fits it to a tee. I wanted to show his longing to return through his body language and reaching out for the portal that shows him the world he is set apart from. Attempts: 2. Difficulty: 4/10. Nothing major but did have to do two entirely separate cards lmao.

10. The Wheel of Fortune: The one I struggled with the most, conceptually. At first I had a more abstract choice, with the 3 starting city state leaders and Tataru, in a sort of "fate leads to the Scions" idea. But then I remembered that Urianger is a fortune teller who uses a wheel-like weapon with a literal wheel of cards, and, well. Yeah. The man is intimately associated with fate and choice, and the choice to place him on the moon is intentional, to separate him from his more secretive depictions in HW/ShB. He is the one who prepares our second option (flight) while giving us the choice to make our first (fight). Attempts: 2. Difficulty: 7/10. He's up on a high ledge that's not normally accessible and that's always a pain in the ass.

11. Strength: The one that started it all. The original shot of Kaede contained some layer elements I wasn't happy with so I ended up retaking it to better cohere with the others. Strength is about confidence and inner strength "leashing" power, symbolized by the woman and the tamed lion, and there's exactly one good lion model in XIV -- Forgiven Cruelty. It also has the fun side meaning of Kaede conquering and wielding the light that almost killed her. For Moenbryda's, I went with something simple -- her axe to symbolize her strength, but with her archon mark and the Sharlayan Thaliak statue prominently featured, emphasizing her intelligence. Attempts: 2 (Kaede), 1 (Moenbryda). Difficulty: 6/10. Kaede's was straightforward enough (though I had to wait an annoyingly long time for the sky to shift colors correctly), but Moenbryda's involved me floating her up on a building so i could get Thaliak in the shot correctly.

12. The Hanged Man: Holy moly this one was a PAIN IN THE ASS. I knew from the minute I started this what I wanted to do with it -- Lahabrea holding Thancred's ankle as he reaches for Minfilia. The Hanged Man is one that I felt it was especially important to mimic the iconic pose on the card, and this was how I decided to do it, but it took me over an hour and a half to accomplish. Anyway, the Zodiark idol stands in for the Tree of Life, which I really liked. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 10/10. Absolutely infuriating to have to pose 3 actors in three dimensional space like that.

13. Death: I only ever considered Estinien for this card. It stands for transformation and change, for shedding the old to make way for the new, and I chose to depict that by having his old corrupted drachen mail posed behind him like a shadow or an abandoned husk. He has left the hate and the rage behind, but the helmet is meant to symbolize that he always remembers it, and carries it with him so that he can do better. His lance is also vaguely reminiscent of the traditional Death scythe. That spot in Coerthas is where he challenges you in the early DRG quests while controlled by Nidhogg, as well as being just visually striking. Attempts: 1, but it took a while. Difficulty: 9/10. The ground is very much not flat, the helmet is on a minion, and I had to change angles and locations a few times.

14. Temperance: I briefly considered Hythlodaeus here, but Krile fits very well. Calm, competent, but unsure of her own worth. I chose Eureka Hydatos both for its importance to Krile as well as its easily accessible water -- instead of pouring from a cup, Krile is looking at her reflection. This one came together so quickly and easily. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 1/10. In and out of Eureka in less than 20 minutes.

15. The Tower: Originally, before I reshuffled, G'raha was going to be the Tower simply because I didn't know where to put him, and I couldn't think of an ally who is ultimately a destructive force, but it always bothered me because he truly didn't fit. Meteion, though -- despite her innocence and unwillingness, is THE destructive force within Endwalker's story. This card had the highest hurdles -- I had to get 7 friends to help me queue for Endsinger and then leave, and I almost couldn't get my tools to load Meteion in properly. After that it was smooth sailing, however. I used the whole lockout timer, but this was only the 4th shot I took, and it's one of my personal favorites. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 4/10, purely for queuing.

16. The Devil: Addiction, obsession, and control -- Zenos was the only answer for this card. I included Zero as well, despite intending this to be a primarily 6.0 and earlier set, to represent the humans bound in chains to the Devil, using the way she's pinned between Zenos and the scythe to symbolize that she's trapped. Afterward I realized this exact shot and character choice would have also worked quite well for the Tower, as well, but I ultimately prefer the Devil for him. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 3/10. Came together surprisingly easily, despite the fact that I had to make Zero's hat touch pose myself.

17. The Star: Symbolizing hope and new life, I can think of no one better suited than Ryne and the Empty. Ryne herself was given her own new life when Minfilia passed on her power, and the ability to make her own destiny -- and she used that power to revitalize a barren wasteland. My first version of this shot had a photoshopped in central star, but I decided to revisit the concept with an in game effect for the star instead. Helios provided what I needed, with the fun extra benefit of some additional rainbows (happy pride!). Attempts: 3. Difficulty: 3/10. Nothing crazy beyond trying to find a good angle to get the star in the shot, as well as Eden and the rainbow crystal. Second attempt I messed up the framing and had to redo it again.

18. The Moon: The card of dreams, fear, anxiety, and secrets, Gaia is perfect here (and a lovely companion to Ryne as the Star), though I did briefly consider Urianger as well. I wanted to have Gaia on the sand, with the moon hanging between the crystal walls of the Empty above her, but the angles would NOT cooperate to allow me to get the moon in the shot. So, levitation was the only answer. Fortunately it suits Gaia well, especially the distance that it evokes. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 6/10. I hate midair posing.

19. The Sun: Another card that sprang fully formed into my mind. Joy and fulfillment is symbolized by Lyse enjoying the morning light in a free Ala Mhigo, thinking of Papalymo. It also allowed me to get both of these very different characters into a single card, as they are very much a package deal, though I did consider Papalymo for the Hierophant as well. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 2/10. Came together very quickly.

20. Judgement: The last two cards of the Major Arcana are very high concept, with very lofty ideals, so they felt hard to pin down. I thought of doing both my WoLs here, or maybe Elidibus with his three forms for light, dark, and balance. But ultimately I ended up on Emet-Selch and Hythlodaeus, as the sort of "final judgement" before the battle with the endsinger, the last step before everything ends. Their literal rebirth, the resolution of Emet-Selch's conflict with the WoL, the not-redemption but understanding reached, our efforts judged worthy -- it all just seemed to fit. The card design is simple but I hope the colors and emotion of the scene carry the weight of the arcana. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 2/10. No major roadblocks.

21. The World: At last we arrive at the end, not only the last posted but the last taken as well. I always knew I wanted Venat/Hydaelyn for this card, as she is the literal heart of our world, as well as an Azem who has reached the end of her journey, as Ardbert was one who was at the beginning of his all the way back at the Fool. But when I didn't use Elidibus anywhere else, I decided to add him here as well, since he also served as the heart of the star for a time. Light and dark united together, watching over Etheirys. The one who destroyed our world in order to save it, and the one who saved our world only to try to destroy it. Perfect symmetry, a completion of the circle. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 9/10. I had to stitch together 3 separate screenshots in photoshop, with the fore and backgrounds cut apart so I could control the opacities separately. Probably the card that took me the longest, but it was worth it.

[andhumanslovedstories]

Something I've been thinking about in regards to the difficulty of writing about my job in the healthcare profession is that there's very different conversations happening at the same time. The first is that this is a job that gives us a lot of power over vulnerable people that is easy to abuse and easier to be passive about. The second is that people will never not bitch about their jobs.

What if a customer service job was high-stakes? That's nursing. It's not the only part of nursing, but cmon, anyone who has worked a public-facing job knows how some people can be. Hospitals are full of people having the worst days of their lives while also being tired, hungry, lonely, and bored.

Plus, it's not just the general population you're dealing with. Hospitals have a disproportionate amount of very difficult people. To draw some examples from my own direct experience: the dementia patient had become too violent to stay at home (unfortunately common), infected chronic wound guy who is so racist that his facility will not take him back, confused patient who screams unceasingly 24 hours a day until she passes out, sexually inappropriate guy who needs two caregivers at all time, another racist patient but this time they're also sexist, banned from multiple shelters for assaulting the staff, etc. Or what might be the most common: person who is too sick to go home alone but no one they know will agree to take care of them. Like, have any of you cut off horrible relatives or abusive partners? People who were in whatever way unacceptable to be around? Would you like to take care of them? And you KNOW they're also not doing any of the stuff that would help them heal so it seems like they will never leave.

I think the gap between healthcare as a Duty versus as a Job contributes to hostile conversations. When you're complaining about your Job ("that moment when you let a call light ring for a while in the hopes someone else answers this time because that patient is annoying as hell"), it's frustrating to get a response that solely looks at the situation through the lens of a Duty ("all patients deserve the same level of care and shouldn’t be ignored.") And it's also frustrating to have these legitimate criticisms ignored or disputed because people are like "it's not that serious, calm down, let nurses vent." And it’s also frustrating to feel so intensely monitored in your free time because of your job. And it’s also frustrating to see people in their free time display qualities that seem like they would have big, negative impacts on their job.

Thinking on this topic, I keep coming back to this one memory. There was a time when I responded to a Code Blue (cardiac arrest, guy’s heart has fully stopped) and was the fifteenth or so person to arrive. The room's full of critical care nurses, I'm not the direct care nurse, the rest of the floor is quiet. So basically, I'm useless to the emergency situation. I ran into a coworker who also responded to the code. I hadn't seen her in a minute, so we caught up. She showed me the new stickers on her water bottle. I don’t remember the exact sticker, but I believe it was a nacho-based pun. It was a pleasant chat.

Meanwhile during this entire conversation, within eyesight of where we are because we’re waiting around to see if we’re needed, people are trying to bring a patient back from the dead. What was happening in that room is life-or-death--to the patient. For me, it was an interlude during a forgettable shift. I only remember that code because the discrepancy between what I was experiencing and what the patient was experiencing was so stark. I don't even remember if the patient survived or not.

None of the patient’s family was there. If they had been, we would have removed ourselves further or not talked so casually. Probably. But if the spouse was there, it would be so insanely insensitive if we tried to include the patient's spouse in our chat about fun stickers. If me and that nurse had been casually in a different hallway chatting, it would be very abrupt for the patient's spouse to walk into our conversation and explain how the patient's death would be so hard on the kids. One of these examples is way more sympathetic and understandable than the other. And I want that spouse to feel comfortable coming up to me and discussing that! That’s part of my job! But also, you can get why that would be a distressing interruption to a moment of downtime.

In both cases, the people in the conversation couldn't be further apart in tone and investment. Neither of us are being bad people. We just should not be talking to each other. And the nature of the Internet and public posting is sometimes talking about my job feels like it's me, my coworker, the spouse, and the revived but severely affected patient in single group chat.

[neocrias]

Heeeeey I was wondering if you could do SVT when they move in with you?

Hey!! So sorry for taking so long, we were quite packed with work (we're happily on a break rn!) Let us know if that's what you wanted!

Seventeen moving in with you

warnings: descriptions; headcanons; gn (mostly) reader self insert;

pairings: svt x gn reader

gender/aus: fluff; slightly suggestive

Scoups

He does not move in with you, instead, he'll make you live with him.

In the first weeks, he might have some difficulty adapting to someone else in his house (he won't say a thing though, even if you leave fingerprints on his flawless fridge surface or decide to keep your underwear in a drawer that's clearly for t-shirts). He just hates the idea of leaving you uncomfortable in what's supposed to be your house too now.

And then he'll see you cutely sleeping on your new shared bed every morning before going to work and all of that's forgotten. It's worth it anyway. He’ll look at you with the biggest dreamy eyes, taking in your carefree and slightly messy state and feel so at home - and suddenly there’s nothing he wants to complain about.

As you lay your feet by the coffee table, Seungcheol’s eyes seem to widen, but he inhales deeply, trying not to think much about it. His skilful hands slowly snake around your legs, softly moving them to his own lap, patting the skin with a small grin. As you smile back at him, satisfied with the romantic gesture, he sighs lowly in relief, looking back and forth between you and the now free coffee table.

Jeonghan

Moves in with you after making you insist for months (he actually has been wanting that for a long while but wanted you to beg before he eventually did it).

The moment he steps into your now shared apartment, he'll feel instantly at home. So yes, he WILL absolutely take your things off their places to put his without any ceremony.

During the first weeks, he might play some tricks and pranks, hiding away your things just to have you looking around for them (he thinks it's adorable).

His total absolute weakness is when you cook. He gets giggly and happy and could admire you for hours while you cook in your kitchen, he's just a simp for the domesticity of it and loves that you're taking care of you both.

“Hannie, have you seen my heart-shaped earrings? I could’ve sworn I left them in the dresser!” You look out carefully through the furniture, grabbing your hair in frustration and sighing.

“Heart-shaped earrings? I might have seen them somewhere, but I just can’t remember where…” He smiles mischievously, admiring the way you’re leaning to search for them so exasperated as he fidgets with your earrings in his hand

Joshua:

He’s the one who asks you to live with him during a special moment between you too - in a certain way, he was trying to be romantic, but he also really wanted to leave the dorms anyways (lol).

As soon as you both set in, he tries to show you exactly how he usually does things, so that you won’t be lost or confused (also because he just really has his own routine and habits and can be quite methodical :p)

He’s got his own space in the house, full of plants, pottery, etc. It’s where he usually goes when he wants some time to think - and yes, he’ll totally encourage you to use it too or maybe set up your own little space.

Hear me out: SCENTED CANDLES. Those are his best friends, and he’ll surely have one for each special moment. You’re cooking together? He’ll light the tangerine and sandalwood one; Cuddling? Jasmine and vanilla; Making out? Pomegranate and red pepper coming right away.

Overall just loves being close to you on a daily basis so that he can take care of you and all your needs. Plus, he's sooo organized and clean. Everything is always in order and smelling good in your house.

“Are you good, darling?” He asks, seeing you curled up on the couch.

“Just migraines…” You shrug it off. Joshua looks at you worried, but also full of determination to help you.

“Hey, I’ve seen this new massage method for that, let me take care of you…” He says before pulling you closer with the most tender smile. “I can make you some tea too.”

Jun:

He’ll be slightly confused during the first weeks. The first time he sees underwear that’s not his in the dryer, he might go “?” for a couple of seconds before letting out a “Ahh, true, true” with a relieved sigh and a small smile, going back to whatever he was doing.

Will absolutely take some souvenirs and small memoirs from the sets of his dramas and movies to your house, displaying them proudly - and as you start setting in, he’ll cautiously ask if you don’t want to display some things from your own hobbies as well, just to make sure you’re also feeling at home. 

Jun will absolutely cook a whole home-made dinner the day you move in with him. Just the two of you, the boxes of your belongings all around and a boiling bowl on the dinner table as he eyes you expectantly and adoringly, waiting for you to taste the food he took so effort on, even if he won’t exactly admit that. 

“ The recipe kind of asked for green onions, but I didn’t put them in…” He shrugs, tasting the stew while giving you a side glance, as if waiting for your reaction.

“Oh, because I don’t like them? You remembered it?” You ask back, smiling thankfully as Jun’s eyes light up, half pride and half loving.

“Of course, since I’ll be cooking for you a lot more from now on…”

Hoshi:

His eyes will literally sparkle the moment you mention anything remotely close to “living together” and then that’ll literally turn into his life mission. He’ll come up with this all the time until you finally decide to move in with him (he’ll be so enthusiastic when that day comes).

Like, what do you mean he’ll be able to annoy you and banter with you 24/7? That’s a “yes” for him, thank you very much. He also just likes the concept of seeing you in all natural states possible way too much. 

Similar to Jeonghan, he will also be very comfortable with the situation the moment you set in. His brain won’t take much to process that now your things are also his and his things are also yours, so he will be using and touching whatever he sees through the house as if it’s always been there in the first place.

One of his favorite things to do will be definitely coming up with a speaking voice for his dog, using it to communicate with you playfully when he wants something.

“Oh someone’s in a bad mood, right dad?” Hoshi coos, holding poor Latte on the level of his head, facing you.

“Really, Soonyoung, this is not the time to play around.” You answer, trying to remain serious.

“But mom, dad swears he didn’t do it on purpose when he forgot to separate the colored and white clothes on the washing machine!” He whines again in a high-pitch voice, shaking Latte slightly

“Damn…Fine, but just because you’re way too cute…” You mutter, sighing and scooting closer. Hoshi hands Latte in your direction, expecting her to lick your face, but you surprise him as you dodge the dog, going straight for his own lips.

Wonwoo:

You’ll be the first one to suggest moving in, but it isn’t as if he hadn’t already thought about the idea. Quite a lot, actually.

Wonwoo might worry to get you extremely comfortable in his home, knowing that his own habits might not be the most fit for you, but still trying to accommodate your own routines together. He’ll constantly ask you if you need anything before he dozes off to his room to play, and he’ll make sure he organizes his stuff properly before you move in so that you’ll have a lot of space to junk your stuff in.

Despite being slightly nervous when you first started moving in, in a few weeks he will realize that really, it’s all fine. You’ll be in the living room doing whatever it is that you want while he games the evening away, and that’ll take much less to worry than he previously thought it would.

“What about ordering some pizza?” You suggest, head laying on Wonwoo’s lap, eyes not leaving the sight of the book in your hands. You sense your boyfriend adjusting himself slightly before answering, his eyes not leaving his own book either.

“Sounds good to me. I’ll get it delivered for us.” He mutters, finally closing his book to grab his phone, taking a quick glance at your focused look below him, a soft smile threatening to break on his lips as he sighs in contentment.

Woozi:

The second you accept moving in with him, he’ll be arranging space in his indoor gym for you to put whatever you want in there; after all, if he’s not working, he’ll probably be working out in there, and he’d love to have you in the same room, doing what fits you best.

Despites that, he’ll make sure that you both have your two separate spaces in the house; maybe different bathrooms and different wardrobes. The thing is, he’s so busy, and his things can get dirty, but he doesn’t want to burden you with that. Solution? He dirties his own bathroom, and you can enjoy your own clean and pretty one.

I also feel like he might have a very minimalistic, and empty place, not much furnished or decorated, so he’ll love it when you start making yourself at home, hanging over small decorations or pictures on the wall. It’ll make him feel more cozy, and surrounded by you.

During the first days, he might be making some jokes and puns about you living together with him, but during the second week he’ll be already used to it as if you guys have been living together for years now. 

“Babe, can you get me my headphones in my bedroom?” He asks cautiously as he sees you moving in that direction, before cracking up a small smile in realization “Oops, I mean our bedroom”. You nod, leaving the room, listening to him chuckling softly by himself at his own little comment.

DK:

He’s so thrilled by the idea of living together he might as well just move to your house, plus, he doesn’t want you to pass through the burden of having to move all your stuff.

Literally sooo excited about it, he’s another one to cook you a “welcome to the living-together life” dinner, as he clumsily adjusts himself to the placement of things in your kitchen. He’ll bump into some stuff and search for utensils he literally just placed away before smiling sheepishly at you, promising that dinner’s going to be ready as soon as he gets to understand your kitchen’s layout. 

In the first days, he’ll be so cautious not to disrupt the organization of your house, always asking whether he can set his things where he wants to, or asking politely where do you keep the toilet paper, or the cleaning supplies.

But he’ll soon have your whole house all mapped out in his mind, and as soon as you realize, you’ll be the one asking him where the things are (lol).

He’ll take sooo good care of your shared house. He’ll preserve it and happily do the chores, knowing that he’s simply letting your own little space more cozy for you both to enjoy. 

“Hey, love, sorry to ask again…but can I use that smaller pan that’s in the oven?” He shyly asks, hoping to cook you both a meal.

“Dokyeom, for god’s sake, it’s your house too. Of course you can use it.” You smile back at him, trying to reassure him for the nth time this week. 

“Oh, that’s true…” He chuckles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as his cheeks flush to the sound of your words “I keep on forgetting that”

Mingyu:

He’d happily move in with you, but you decide to go to his house and he just accepts it. Be prepared not to move an inch during moving day - he’ll carry all your boxes, suitcases and basically anything you want to shove into his apartment. 

Mingyu will also help you place every single one of your belongings, making sure that you get to decide where you want your things to be, but at the same time having some control over the changes in his own space. He’ll explain to you where things are so thoroughly that you’ll never have trouble finding anything.

He’s very likely to have a sappy moment while glancing at your toothbrushes together by the sink, internally loving the way your personal belongings are now sharing the same space (and so are you!)

“Okay, let’s order something to eat, baby” He sits down exhausted, sweating slightly after spending the whole day unpacking your stuff around.

“Oh, but I thought you would…cook for us. Like you always do.” You admit shyly, naturally expecting your top-chef boyfriend to serve you your very first domestic scene together.

“I will, baby, everyday, don’t worry about that.” He winks playfully. “But today I’m spent…” He sighs and you laugh softly, appreciating Mingyu’s pouty face.

Minghao:

I feel like Minghao is likely to ask you both to move together, so that you two can decide where you want to live, how the apartment will look like, how to organize it, etc.

And he’ll have MANY opinions, don’t doubt it. Minghao wants his home to look like a home, to display both yours and his personality on the walls (and if it depends on him, your apartment is going to be super sophisticated and elegant, damn you for being so aesthetically aware Xu Minghao!)

He’s also very organized and totally in favor of you having your own personal spaces to unwind. 

One of his favorite things about living together is getting to share his quiet hobbies with someone else, more specifically things that he could do by himself, but that could be much more pleasant if you were by his side - such as having tea ceremonies, painting, reading or just watching a movie.

“Darling, I’m going to meditate for a while, so if you could turn the TV volume down a little, please…” He asks politely, head peeking at the bedroom door frame. As you nod readily, Minghao stops to think a little, looking at you again with a gentle smile. “Actually, would you like to join me?”

Seungkwan:

If he's the one moving in with you, he'll judge the way you do things in your house (like what do you mean you keep your underwear in the second drawer of the dresser!? everyone knows it's supposed to be kept on the first one!), but if you move in with him, he'll carefully show you all around as if it was a big tour or a tutorial of 'how to live in here' - which might be totally cute 

Will totally make you watch sports with him. It doesn't matter if it's the most obscure sports team playing the most random sport you've ever seen, he'll watch it (and so will you!).

He'll try to explain to you how the game works, but at any hints of questions or doubts he'll either 1- explain to you overly-dramatically as if you were a five y.o or 2- say "nevermind, sweetie, you'll understand it better as the match goes on"

“But Seungkwan....I already know your house, I've been here countless times!” You mutter as he keeps on making a sort of MCing voice to present every corner of his apartment to you. 

“ sHUT UP, so, here's where we keep the toilet paper…”

Vernon:

Guy's a little messy, so when you finally move into his place, he'll try to tone it down for a while. He won't necessarily clean up everything, but he'll probably refrain from, I don't know, leaving his wet towel in the bed. For your sake, at least.

Hansol's said to make tons of online shopping and not even opening them when they arrive, only stocking numerous boxes of trinkets. Well, hear me out, his love language is that when you start living with him, he'll start online shopping for you too! He found something cute online? Totally buying it for you. Don't get too excited though, you'll never see those presents, because as soon as they arrive, they're going to the long pile of unopened deliveries (he probably won't even remember that he bought anything in the first place, but the thought still counts, right?)

I just feel like he also would like to have his own space, even if you're living together, so it won't be strange if you spend the whole afternoon in the bedroom and him in the living room, doing your own things.....but yeah, he will be down to cuddling given the chance, no need to ask twice

“Sollie, what’s this…?” You carefully shake one of the dozens of boxes in your living room. 

“Hm…” He ponders. “It might either be a Sponge Bob cutlery set or a pair of flip flops. Not sure.” Hansol murmurs, a little pensative. You roll your eyes, opening the box impatiently only to be surprised by a beautiful and seemingly expensive perfume kit. “Oh, yep, that’s for you.” He smiles softly, taking in the gift he bought a couple of months ago, and had totally forgotten about.

Dino:

He’s so happy and excited about it, you literally have to stop and tell him that you can’t actually move in together at the spot, but actually plan and organize this stuff.

Chan might just want to get a completely new place for you both. A space that’ll truly be new and fully yours. 

He’ll totally let you decide on most things regarding the new place. Not because he doesn’t care, or because he doesn’t want to work on it, but because he actually wants the whole place to be filled with you and your taste. So yes, just decide it and he’ll make it work.

You will be spoiled. If you ever mention that you like a specific snack, or a fruit, or any type of beverage, you’ll wake up to a fridge dramatically filled with it the next day. 

It’ll only dawn on him that you’re actually living together when he sees you doing something incredibly domestic like cleaning something or walking around in your loungewear, and then his heart WILL flutter, believe me. 

“Woah… I must be really lucky.” He mutters to himself while lazily lying on the couch, seeing you walk around the apartment in your pajamas.

“What did you say?” You call out from the other room.

“Nothing!” Chan calls out back, smiling sheepishly. “Hey! You know we moved in together to spend more time with each other, right? You’ll leave me all by myself all day?” He whines playfully, but with a hint of sincerity as you chuckle to yourself, quickly heading back to your clingy boyfriend in the living room. 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

actually look at those pieces of seeming red confetti on the floor off the stage platforms (that area of the floor is clear in other pictures i.e. not like a permanent venue design) like maybe bloodsong of love Does throw blood at the audience in the celebratory everybody gathers together in a rush of Song like the christmas extravaganza doing that throwing handfuls of snow at the peak of Baby Please Come Home

[astrocafecoffee]

Astro observation part 7

🪷 FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, ENJOY 🪷

~~~~~~~~~~~~~🪻🪻~~~~~~~~~~~~~

☞ MASTERLIST

~~~~~~~~~~~~~🪻🪻~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lunar return obs.

🌷 Everytime Chiron in my 1st house in Aries , I inevitably face difficulties during those months. I am just tired of this shit.

🌷 Moon conjunct mars - definitely arguing with your mother or close family member.

🌷 Venus conjunct Saturn- you could think about your love life often, perhaps thinking about someone or sad about your connection with your love interest.

🌷 Venus in 12th house could mean same as previous point.

🌷 Jupiter in 3rd house- this could mean short distance travel.

🌷sun in 11th could mean you are active on social media often, searching things, learning things.

🌷7th ruler in 10th house could mean you are taking guidance for your career/ work from your family members or friends or someone higher rank than you. If it's in mercury then this could mean you are discussing very important matter with them.

🌷 Uranus in 2nd house - I've spent a lot of money.

🌷 1st house ruler in 3rd house - people taking about your appearance alot. (Definitely my mom did).

🌷 Chiron in 7th house - difficulties with your loved ones.

🌷 Meeting your fs or long term soulmate indicator in lunar return -

- Groom/ Briede conjunct Jupiter.

- Groom/ Briede conjunct Union

- Union in 7th house.

- Union in 3rd / 11th house(online meeting).

-Groom / Briede in 11th house ( online)

- Groom / Briede in 6th house.

- 7th ruler conjunct Groom/ Briede.

- Vertex conjunct Groom/ Briede.

- Northnode conjunct Groom/ Briede.

🌷 I've seen in some astro observations that Venus in 10th house can mean a career upgrade, but in my case that didn't happen. Instead my close ones have been motivating me to upgrade my career.

Solar return obs.

💚 7th ruler in 11th house - meeting a potential love interest through social media.

💚 sun in 11th - i have meet a lot of friends through social media.

💚 saturn in 11th house could mean difficulties with friends. I lost touch with many old friends.

💚 The 10th house ruler in Capricorn brought me career difficulties during those years despite my hard work.

💚 part of fortune in 12th house - I started this Astrology blog 😃. It also conjunct my mercury. In general this means heightened spirituality and learning something spiritual.

💚 I had 8th ruler in 11th house last year and I started this blog. This means sharing your spiritual abilities online.

💚 here i discussed some solar return indicators, but some prominent indicator you will see when you meet your fs -

- solar return juno conjunct natal groom.

- solar return union conjunct natal union.

- solar return union conjunct natal Vertex or northnode.

- juno conjunct vertex

- groom / briede in 6th and 7th house.

- solar return juno conjunct solar return groom/ briede.

- Boda conjunct sun.

Juno Persona chart

🌊 if you have Jupiter in the 7th house then you are lucky bro. You won't ever have to worry about this person being unfaithful to you. You will know deep down this person loves you for real.

🌊 i think sun in the 9th house is one of the indicator your fs is foreign than you in some way, like ethnicity or in general very different than you, could be cultural or religion difference.

🌊 Part of Fortune in the 10th house: I think they're at the top of their field. They're a prominent figure, but they had setbacks before achieving success. It took time for them to accomplish everything.

🌊 check Mony asteroid (7782) from where their money is coming from.

🌊 moon opposite Chiron - your fs may have a tough time opening up emotionally or showing vulnerability even if they deeply long for emotional connection. Their emotional needs may feel unfulfilled ,but they may have difficulty articulating or even acknowledging what those needs are.

🌊 Saturn opposite groom asteroid - your person might need to take more time to mature emotionally or intellectually before committing fully. They may also be cautious about making promises or vows cause they wants to ensure they are truly ready before taking the next step.

🌊 7th ruler in 10th house - One thing to be mindful of is that, with this placement, your fs might occasionally struggle to balance their personal and professional life. Their career ambitions may sometimes take precedence over their emotional or relational needs, don't worry just communicate with them about this matter. Don't suppress yourself.

🌊 Jupiter conjunct moon - very loving and emotionally generous spouse. They have a lot of emotional warmth and support to offer a partner. They may also have a tendency to over give emotionally sometimes, they may need to mindful about this.

🌊 Juno in 1st house - These individuals(your fs) can be especially sensitive to any inconsistency in commitment from a partner. If a partner shows signs of wavering, indecision, or lack of loyalty, it can affect them deeply. The personal identity of someone with Juno in the 1st house is often so tied to the idea of a secure, steady relationship that even minor signs of instability can trigger strong emotional responses.

🌊Juno in the 5th house could indicate that your spouse sees a long-term relationship as an adventure to be explored. They might not view the "everyday" aspects of commitment as mundane but rather as a continual process of discovery and joy. The idea of emotional exploration and new experiences with their partner could be a source of deep satisfaction.

🌊Uranus in the 12th can create a sense of feeling “different” or alien from the people around them. Because the 12th house is linked to the unconscious and the hidden aspects of the self, your spouse might feel like they don’t quite fit into societal molds or family expectations, even if they don’t express this outwardly. They could experience a feeling of being an outsider or of having a unique, unconventional way of perceiving the world that they don’t often share with others.

General astro obs.

🍁 you can definitely tell if a gemini sun likes you or not. If they are interested then they will actively reach out , just expect frequent calls and texts from them. They will also engage in conversations with you about all sorts of random topics.

🍁 Taurus rising peoples might be the type to fall asleep mid movie because they're too comfy to stay awake. Lol.

🍁 and also Taurus rising people are generally so calm? Like they are very stable or they manage things very calmly without making any mess. But if they become angry then run bro, just run.

🍁 if you talking to an Aquarius placements specially sun , and they seem distant or a little zoned out don't take it personally, they are probably just mentally solving world problems while making a grocery list.

🍁People might think Capricorn Venus is all work and no play, but they can actually be surprisingly sweet and sentimental when you get to know them. They might not show it on the outside, but deep down, they’re very invested in their loved ones and will hold onto meaningful mementos for years. They may not say it, but they'll remember your favorite coffee order from 3 months ago.

🍁 Capricorn rising peoples reserved nature can give off a distant or serious vibe. People might think they’re standoffish or unapproachable when, in reality, they’re just trying to figure out how to fit into the situation. They prefer to observe first before getting involved, which can make them seem a bit guarded until they warm up.

🍁They may not always say much, but Pisces placements are usually spot-on when it comes to reading people and situations. They can pick up on subtle cues like your tone of voice, body language, or emotional energy and process it all to form an almost psychic understanding of what's really going on.

🍁If you're in trouble or need support, a Pisces placement is often the first to offer a listening ear, a hug, or to jump in and offer help,,no questions asked. But their compassion can also lead them into situations where they’re putting others needs ahead of their own, sometimes to their own detriment.

🍁When there’s tension in a group, Libra Moons step up to resolve it. They’ll likely step in to calm things down, offer balanced perspectives, and try to make sure everyone feels like they’ve been heard. They’re basically the emotional diplomat, always trying to create balance and keep things peaceful.

🍁Sagittarius placements can be hilariously blunt. They don’t really have a filter when it comes to speaking their mind, if they think something, they’re probably going to say it, often without realizing it might come across as tactless. They’re not trying to be rude, they’re just being totally honest... sometimes too honest.

🍁Cancer Moons are fiercely protective of their loved ones. They’ll go to great lengths to shield their friends and family from pain or hurt. However, this protective instinct can sometimes be a bit overbearing,they might try to “fix” things for people or even shield them from tough situations that could help them grow. It’s all coming from a place of love, but it can get a little intense.

🍁Leo placements are competitive, but not in the way that they need to be the best at everything. Instead, they love a good challenge that lets them prove their worth. Whether it’s competing for a promotion, taking on a difficult task, or even just playing a game with friends, they’re motivated by the idea of showing their strength and skills.

🍁Virgo Mercury people might come across as critical or even judgmental at times, but they usually don’t mean it in a mean-spirited way. They just have high standards for themselves and others, and they want to help people improve. If they point out flaws, it's often because they genuinely believe there’s a better way to do things and want to assist others in getting there.

🍁8th house synastry can sometimes bring about unusual dream connections. One partner might dream about the other person frequently or have vivid, symbolic dreams that feel linked to the relationship. In some cases, both people may have similar dreams about transformation, death, or intense experiences, which can deepen their spiritual connection and add an element of mystery.

🍁There’s often a sense that the relationship is a bit out of control or “not of this world” when it comes to 12th house synastry. It might feel as though you’ve surrendered your will to a higher force, like destiny or fate is pulling you two together. There’s a sense that things aren’t entirely in your hands, which can be both liberating and unnerving at the same time. The relationship’s direction might unfold in unexpected ways that feel "meant to be," even if you don’t fully understand why.

🍁Scorpio Suns are fiercely protective of those they love, but it’s rarely loud or flashy. They won’t necessarily step in front of you to physically fight someone (unless the situation absolutely calls for it), but they’ll have your back in ways that are intense but subtle. They may not say they’re protecting you, but they’ll silently sabotage anything that tries to hurt you or undermine your happiness. You might not even notice until later, when you realize something just magically worked out in your favor.

~See you next time pookies ✨

-PIKO 💗

[katakaluptastrophy]

This is your semi-regular reminder that for all that he very much leans into being 'just a guy', John Gaius is a horribly unsettling and disturbing eldritch entity who has not been entirely human for 10,000 years:

As the world went up I remade us both. I hid me in you... I hid you in me. And when we were together... I became God..

We're repeatedly told how uncanny Alecto was. And how terribly ordinary-looking John is...but how deeply, deeply upsetting his eyes are to behold. They're repeatedly described as "monstrous" (on one occasion, directly before John jokes "I'm not a monster"), as well as "terrible", "like dead planets", "primordial", "chthonic", "inconceivable", and "deeply fucked up".

There are multiple descriptions of how his down to earth persona suddenly falls away and he can be seen as something infinitely more awful:

"terrible divinity clung to his skin"

"It was the first time that he had seemed at all mortal. Humanity touched him briefly, like a passing shadow"

"He was no longer human. He was immortal again"

"He was always somehow more alive than everyone else around him, and yet dislocated from what you considered living. A man-shaped eclipse."

"The Emperor of the Nine Houses - the Resurrection - the First Reborn - sat at the end of the table, his plain face splattered with gore, and his eyes were the death of light."

There's one moment in particular where Harrow perceives him as something vastly beyond human:

his great immortal age - of an enormous distance between you, of an ignition too bright for you to conceive. You were an insect standing before a forest fire. You were a cell holding a heart.

(Though of course Harrow herself is far from metaphysically straightforward - in the River, Gideon says "You were a sigil: you were an intermingled fire...you were a hunger without a stomach...")

When John describes Resurrection Beasts to Harrow - although we do not yet know that this is a confession of murder and of a sort of cannibalism by a part man, part planet - he is "lit from beneath by electric lighting, the gleam in his eyes black and wet. You caught him moistening his lips with the tip of his tongue."

Even when he's not obviously being an eldritch thing, his very normal crown of foetal bones moves on its own, and the white rings in his eyes are described as flickering. Even blithely sitting in a Cohort Admiralty meeting munching peanuts, John is in constant, unsettling motion.

As if that doesn't already sound unpleasant enough, it seems rather like there is something physically discomforting about making eye contact with John. Looking on those white rings is likened to "dying" and "a migraine", and described as "scalding".

It still hurt you a little, to look into his terrible eyes... You had never become used to it.

Making eye contact with John doesn't just cause physical pain. It also seems to open you up to some degree of suggestion or compulsion. Here's Gideon's description of making eye contact with John:

God looked at me...and held my gaze. It was this that pinned us in place. When those white rings hovered on someone else, the blood rushed back to your brain; when they flickered back to me, I went white and blank again, mute and stupid, a floating outline... Those white-ringed eyes closed, and your heart almost relaxed in your chest.

Which seems to place two incidents that otherwise might be explained as Harrow's difficulty refusing the man she has been raised to worship as god in a different light:

It still hurt you in an undefinable way, to see him lowered so: as though he offered a compliance test where you ought to flatten yourself in front of him as low as you could go. The white ring around his pupil was so white.

He looked at you as though he were glad to see you... some nameless softening in his face and those white-tinged, primordial eyes. He reached out for your hands. You could not refuse him, and in any case had no choice of doing so; your body reacted long before your mind did, and the meat of your meat and the flesh of your flesh belonged to God

I don't think we're nearly frightened enough of John... Or of the prospect of John and Alecto - the man who became god and the god who became man - reunited (even if at odds) in ATN...

[neon-sunsets]

it’s actually insane to me in retrospect that viktor got the arc he did. I need to go back and count his screen time minutes, but it’s clear that he’s up there numerically, and his story has so much weight within the narrative outside of just numbers as well.

beyond that, though, is the fact that viktor's narrative is fundamentally one about internalized ableism and the systemic structures that encourage it.

(obligatory disclaimer #1 that I have a significant mobility disability and a progressive chronic illness, but I am only one disabled person.)

imagine this: you are a child. you are disabled. the world you live in is one where you cannot afford healthcare; no one is there to teach you how to even use your cane correctly. your world is inaccessible and, worse, even the people who would normally show class solidarity with you don't, because you are not even able to do what they expect from you. characters like vi, powder, claggor, ekko, and mylo are all shown care and solidarity that viktor isn't — because they are able-bodied and therefore able to "pull their own weight."

this, at least, is an environment that can probably be overcome or mitigated by age and meeting people in your community who do care about you. this is an environment comparable to that of many, many, many disabled people who manage to thrive in a deeply unfair and ableist world.

but then you encounter a man who sees that you have talent and tells you as much. he does not ask much of you and he does not care that you are disabled. all he asks is for some help, which you give, and in return he teaches you the things he knows. what comes of this, after all is said and done and your understanding of the world has been fundamentally changed, is that you do have something you can give to your community, to the world. you have a talent which you can use to make yourself useful. you're not strong or sturdy but you can make machines, and that is always in need.

but you can't skate by on being useful like a normal child. the onus is always on you to prove that you're worth the air you breathe and the space you take up, that it's worthwhile to keep you alive. and the place to go to make yourself the most useful, where the most change can be made, is not a place you have any traditional way of accessing. you, through tenacity and grit, manage to get there anyways. (the show doesn't depict this, but any way viktor would have managed to get to the academy would have involved significant difficulty and possibly deception).

and when you get there, to that towering city of bronze, you find that nothing you do actually matters all that much.

everyone looks at you and sees your disability. everyone looks at you and sees where you're from. no matter how smart or accomplished or helpful you are, your behavior will always be, in their eyes, representative of your people. you could handle the stares, the rejection. but their judgement is dangerous to you and your people.

so, in order to survive, you must be perfect. you must project confidence or at least indifference to their cruelty. you must do as you're told and accept meager promotions and toil away as an assistant. you might be the only disabled zaunite they'll ever meet, so you have to make it count. if you fail, if they decide everyone from the undercity is lazy and useless, it's your fault.

you tell yourself you won't let them get to you. you tell yourself that you believe in your abilities.

it's a convenient narrative, and it's wholly untrue.

you, after all, are only a human being. a lifetime of the chips stacked against you is nearly impossible to overcome.

and so the image you build of yourself is that of a man far more self-confident than you, one who is quiet and reserved but proud of his accomplishments. the man you actually are, though, is one desperate for acceptance. desperate to assimilate. you chase your dreams, yes, but you can't bear to take credit, can't bear to be the face of them. you don't let yourself get close to anyone except the man you've built all of this with, who you love more than anyone else. you don't let anyone touch you (except him) and you don't touch anyone. you convince yourself you don't deserve his love or anyone's, that you're not whole enough for that.

you take it so far that, when you finally have the technology you think can cure your terminal illness, the first thing you try to fix is your leg. not the thing eating at your lungs and cutting short the time you thought you had, but the leg which has marked you as Other your entire life. and even though it doesn't quite work, even though it still causes you pain with every step, you force yourself to run on it — faster and faster until you're outrunning the ships and screaming because you may have visibly "fixed" your leg but it still hurts the same.

and when the system is not only oppressive in the material sense but also set up to make you hate yourself, there is almost no escaping this cycle of self-hatred. throw in the fact that in season 2 viktor keeps getting tossed from resurrection to resurrection against his will and it's no wonder the man did the things he did. it doesn't excuse them by any means, but arcane is not interested in excuses — it's interested in what makes people do the things they do. everything that he did to the people in the commune was a reflection of his own self-hatred, both because he still possessed it after death but also because, since he was programming the hexcore to try and save his life but started with "fixing" his leg, it is designed to make people as physically "normal" as possible. the faceless, identical machine people are a metaphorical representation of the ideology viktor has bought into in his pursuit of self-hatred and internalized ableism. his whole arc across both seasons is a demonstration and condemnation of the ways that systems of oppression reinforce self-hatred in the people they are oppressing.

obligatory disclaimer #2 that I don't think arcane did everything right. I'm frustrated with the direction of season 2 away from the piltover/zaun class conflict and towards the broader league of legends universe. but I do think, as a disabled person with a very similar experience of my disability to viktor, that this arc is well-done and very compelling. in the end, what saves the world is viktor accepting that he is deserving of being loved. I'm going to be thinking about this one for a good long while.