#you said early this year so i am very 👀👀👀

[samheughanswife]

Sam

Sam was in his element. With friends, Steve and comfortable in the auditorium.

Refreshed from a week of sun,sand and sea. Add in off the socials grid. No random blondes in bikinis, or the gym blonde rats at the North Bondi open gym breathing the same sea air as him instantly given a nickname and assumed bumping curlies.

He shared that he had a session with the famous Bondi Beach lifeguards. He was encouraged to dive off the rocks at the South end of the beach- Bondi. He shared he had never dived in his life( sure that’s not true, just not into the Pacific Ocean) He was shown how to swim back to shore in a rip, ( that’s what drowns people not understanding how to get out of a rip). And generally living a beachside life. He joked that he didn’t sleep in the sand, he had a house (?? ����).

Loves 🇦🇺. Not the snakes he revealed to an answer re the snakebite episode. Met all the famous animals. And shared that he felt the walk to the top of the bridge more now than when he did it eight years ago ( doubt that). Mentioned the bars he hit up and the restaurants.

A week well spent. As you all have seen he has the tan to show for it.

Two afternoons were lost to late summer thunderstorms. What did he do then?!

He answered the expected questions regarding the end of OL. He is ready to say goodbye. He has been in discussion regarding work. He wants to continue to travel after the S8 wrap.

Mentioned going to Everest and working on getting distribution in 🇦🇺 for SS. And other countries.

Shared a tidbit that when he went to the studio his “things” had been moved for a new younger cast. All tongue in cheek. Said he is looking for to BOMB.

This was a contented man. It was all easy conversation and engagement with just under 945 fans. The auditorium capacity is 945 and there were about 20 empty seats.

He did not bring up the spirits unless asked. He didn’t have a bottle on stage. That bag on the table was Steve’s- with a drink bottle in it and a place to put the discarded written questions. He was not selling his booze, he was riffing. Laughing and just being relaxed.

Asked about Caitriona ( got to say that the audience was a Sam only) and he discussed her getting prepped for directing. Said they had FT her the night before, all the guys and showed her what she was missing. He said how much they had shared and that really “ THEY WERE LIKE BROTHER AND SISTER” ✅ ✅. Crowd liked that.

He said that it will be difficult working away the final time. Very poignant. But he said he is ready.

The rest was the same questions and answers. The event organizers said there will be a USB to buy. So the rest will be there for those who will buy and then share here.

I’ve been told that on the soulless account comments have said that the guys were disheveled and looked unwashed. BULLSHIT. All their clothes were ironed( I am that woman who judges unironed clothes. Sam had ironed his T-shirt and pants. His hair was not oily. And his eau de parfum was that of a man who had showered early and had used deodorant. Those hollow jealous haters were truly reaching for something- anything.

I’m guessing that the Melbourne audience will be just as thrilled and appreciative of the chance to be in conversation with the OL lads. There is a song from one of my teenage favourite 🇦🇺 band Australian Crawl. It’s called The Boys Light Up. It’s the perfect song for the fun day yesterday. The boys did light up.

[ragnarokhound]

Hi wife! Thinking about you. Should we buy a hot tub? Or a sauna? Or both?

Also thinking about the werewolf fic. I would be delighted if there was full werewolf smut in the werewolf fic👀👀 When will my wife (you) return from the war (writing the werewolf fic)?

Also thinking about the hilarity of tim hearing jason talk about his “time of the month” and ofc assuming it’s about Jason being trans when jason is talking about wolfing out. Picture:

Tim: “-and I brought chocolate-“

Jason: “Are you trying to kill me? canines can’t have chocolate!”

after some confusion they clarify things (jason is trans, not a big deal, he’s a werewolf, also not a big deal). Then (important for plot and character development) they have dirty dirty werewolf sex :)

Hehehe hello darling, you are always near my thoughts <3 And ohhh I could use a dip in a hot tub, especially now that winter has come to my climes >.< Though I fear a sauna would never see its use with me, haha

I am ALSO thinking about werewolf fic. Nigh constantly these days. I am deep in the trenches. I am furiously pondering how to reconcile the idea I had sketched most of the bones of almost an entire year ago with what I think and like now. It's been a bit of a battle. One I am fighting... tooth and claw you might say ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ (badum tsh)

Alas, while I don't want to give too much away, I feel I must warn you that the kind of werewolf Jason is in werewolf fic is more in line with 'that's just a wild animal' and less 'monsterfucker furry.' So while we'll see some very animalistic behaviors from Jason (what with the scenting and the licking and the biting and the growling etc) and some occasional signs that he's on the verge of wolfing out, there is no actual wolfed out smut lmao OTL. Please enjoy a small sneak peek of what I kind of sort of mean at the bottom of this post <3

For actual werewolf smut you'll want to look forward to the timestamp/smutty sequel I fully intend to write for my vamp!Tim and werewolf!Jay fic, in which he is absolutely the monsterfucker furry kind of werewolf and Tim takes gleeful advantage of that fact lololol (but werewolf fic comes first...! It Is Time. I Will Not Be Distracted.)

And omg yes. I do very much love the trans 🤝 werewolf overlap and metaphors, it's one of my favorite things fr fr (you got me thinking about trans lesbians jaytim now--)

I LOVE assuming there's a mundane explanation for a supernatural secret, that's my JAM (Do know that our early correspondences live rent free in my WIP document and that I would eventually also like to write the goofy sitcom-esque romcom in which Jason isn't quite hiding his lycanthropy from Tim - but Tim's not really clocking it either lmfao)

--and it must be said that dirty dirty werewolf sex will always be VITAL to both plot and character development <33 (it certainly is to werewolf fic, even if the werewolf part of that sex is mostly in the vibes lolol)

Anyway, here's wonderwall a sneak peek leading up to some of the smut in werewolf fic:

Jason snaps his teeth sharply, inches from Tim’s throat. It's not an empty gesture, and Tim wildly thinks through his options, squeezing tight with his knees around Jason’s thick waist so he can’t buck Tim off immediately. Jason is too strong and Tim is too light; he can’t stay here forever. Jason writhes underneath him, looking for leverage. With his shoulders trapped under Tim’s staff, Jason plants his feet and surges his hips in a powerful, cresting motion. Tim sinks back on his haunches to keep him down, then forward again when he threatens to break free. In Jason’s struggle, he rocks up just as Tim rocks down— and they inadvertently grind together. Tim's stomach curls and tangles in an electric jolt of heat at the glancing friction. He realizes with a spike of hot, mortified shame that he's— Tim is hard under his uniform. He sucks in a short gasp, trying to hide it, and Jason— —whines.

[watchingblsnowandforever]

Hello.

Listen, I'm still not over ep 11 yet. AND THEN THEY GIVE ME THIS I- *muffled screaming*

Anyways, welcome to my crack posts. =D

Warning: long post 😊😅 (I somehow took even more screenshots than last time 😭)

I knew something like this would happen hehe

Also-

Don't lie, Peem, he'd already won your heart the moment he said "Na, krab" with those puppy eyes

I love how despite thinking they're enemies up till this point, Tan immediately jumps on the ship the moment he learns it exists.

Fang: cute. <3

Q: cutee. <33

Shy babygirl Peem has my whole heart 🥺🫶🏼

Yeah? Anyone specific you want to draw a portrait of, Peem? Someone from Engineering, maybe? Someone who confessed to you in front of all your combined friends just last night? No? 👀

This smile. This goddamn smile. I get you, Peem, I totally get you.

Q peeking in small into the bag is so accurate 😭

As I'd said in my previous post: "Right in front of my salad?!" and "Something very LGBT just happened to me o.o"

NOSE BOOP

I love nose boops hehe

[Phum: I have to go to class.]

You actually go to class?! *pikachu meme face*

Q's face perfectly expresses my feeling, and I'm definitely saving these as meme pics

Peem's plan to be hit on backfired so fast so hard 😭

Poor boy went into shock 😭

Peem is never hearing the end of this from Q. Never.

I love their friendship though. Besties forever. <3

Toey looks so excited here 😭🫶🏼

He's definitely over the moon that his two beloved hias finally realized they like each other (and of course he manifested this wdyem)

Throwing stones from inside a glass house, huh Q?

You're just as bad as, if not worse than Peem.

*shaking my head fondly* these boys are so whipped for their baes

This ep gave me a lot of meme pic ehehe

Why so surprised, Peem? You were the one telling Phum to flirt on you, why so shy now huh?

Oh, Aunt Pui knows. She's just trying to help her nephew get a nice boyfriend hehe

Also- learning the family business early on? Nice move, Phum.

I'm pretty sure Aunt Pui will accept Phum as family the very instant they start dating.

Actually- she probably already has.

What will you be tying next? The knot?? (I am so so happy I can make that joke and actually mean it now.)

Oh, and I love love love their dynamics. I'm always looking for verse because I don't like active power dynamics, but this show really delivered on it. There's always a push and pull, but throughout, they're equals. Yes, even through that slave era (remember how exactly Peem came to be his slave?). It did start off with a slight imbalance, but it evened out pretty fast (because Phum is incapable of not being the cutest clingy little puppy for more than ten minutes and Peem is weak for it).

PhumPeem/PeemPhum is giving me so much that I'd thought I'd almost never get from BLs (there are a few other examples, I think, but this is probably my topmost).

I don't know if y'all have noticed, but Phum is deliberately soft and is often using polite pronouns for the last two episodes.

It's just... they're so pretty 😭

This scene is just >>>

He-

HE LEARNED LATTE ART JUST TO USE THIS LINE WITH PEEM I'M DYING OH GODS

Phum is 200% committed. Other upcoming BL romantic interests, please take notes.

Jokes aside, what started out as a potential red flag (even two years ago, this relationship would have been very very different) turned into the greenest flag (with a side of childhood trauma).

Did he just-

He almost confessed!!! So close!!

Also- please give me them as boyfriends already, I'm on my hands and knees. But can you imagine what they'll be like when they actually start dating...?

...

I CAN'T WAIT. GIMME NOW. *grabby hands*

This scene made me speechless. Ep 12 was full of beautiful, absolutely stunning scenes, but this was what took my breath - his cute smile that lights up his whole face, his "Pai, krab" and the sheer relief when Peem asks him if he wants to go.

For a moment there, he thought Peem would leave, just like all the people in his life. He knows it wouldn't be permanent, but it's hard to get rid of such an old, deep-rooted fear.

But Peem, unknowingly, immediately waves it away by asking him if he wanted to come with. The only thing is... I don't think it was that unknowing.

I'll end part 1 on this note. Part 2 will be posted soon!

If you've reached this far, thank you so much for reading! 😊

Here, have a doughnut 🍩

And here are my previous We Are posts.

[deeversuswords]

a/n: no inspiration? take a shower (joking, or maybe not?). ended up drafting a 3.6k words oneshot that'll probably end up not as one, but two chapters, and I'm so excited about it.

so, here's a small peek at this bakugou katsuki x reader, exes to lovers (there'll be two smut scenes too 👀). hoping my words flow 'cause damn are they letting me down with my wip long fic...

When Katsuki had lost you, he had lost and never felt like he won anymore. When you had walked out through the door, belongings packed, you took a fundamental part of himself with you. Two years later, and his ability to love another was nowhere to be found. He functioned. Crawled through life and achieved. But not once did he stop looking for the traces of you. Still, his efforts were in vain. He never found you again.

The universe refused to answer that one burning wish he had for reasons he no longer understood. Was he bound to feel like this forever? Empty in your absence? Cold when another warmed his bed? Incomplete, despite being almost certain that someone out there had to fit with him? A torment. Every single fucking day. From morning to night, night to morning. Awake or lost in dreams—better yet, nightmares. He dreamed of you so often, his subconscious rubbing the what-ifs in his face. He should’ve kicked his fear of losing you to the curb and showed you off to the whole world instead. Like you deserved. Years and years, he had boasted of being strong, as being the best. Yet when it came to you, he was weak. Weak because life taught him early on how fleeting it could be. One moment here, gone in the next. That thought was rooted in his subconscious, and while it wasn’t an excuse, it made him act out more times than he could count. “I don’t understand. Why can’t we be seen together without all this stupid disguise?” you would ask and his response would always be the same pathetic excuse, “You wanna paint a target on your back that bad?” And you would give him this confused look that never failed to feel like a gut punch before saying, “…I can take care of myself, Kat. You made sure of it. Besides, you’d never let anything happen to me.” "What if I'm not there? What if I am and you end up getting hurt because I didn't see it coming?" would be his argument that rang true to both of you. But it was those what-ifs that bred insecurities, and before he knew it, with tear-stained cheeks and in a small voice, you had said, “I’m just not enough for you, Katsuki. I tried and I failed. I’m tired.” He, too, had tried to stop you, to express his fear. You refused to listen, too fed up with him, too sick of being his “dirty little secret” as you so bluntly put it. His “dirty little secret” you remained for he never talked about you with anyone. Not his parents, not his friends. His heartbreak was his and his only, and Katsuki gladly succumbed to it. He deserved the punishment—to drown in regrets and shame. Katsuki hurt you, his missing half, his person who loved him for him. So, when whatever the hell aligned so that behind the door where his hookup for the night was supposed to be stood you, the last two years flashed before his very eyes. And then, he could swear his whole fucking world exploded in color and light; though, that might’ve just been his heart finally, finally beating in the now.

[uswnt5]

Everyone’s good energy really helped me yesterday so thank you. I’ll try to make this as brief as possible lol. I’d like to say that being a weekday and knowing we both worked the next day I didn’t think we’d spend the night together. She picked me up and brought me flowers which was so cute and all but I don’t own a fucking flower vase so I put them in a mixing bowl before leaving. She looked stunning! We grabbed dinner and then we went to a board game house. She insisted we play jenga again and I won one of the three times we played🤣 The place was pretty spacious and so we were pretty much alone in our corner. We got to talking and she asked me if I voted. I told her I did and she asked me for who. In my head I was like *bro this is about to go south* I told her I voted Harris Walz and she said “oh thank god, I thought i was going to have to cut the date short but thankfully not” and then I was like “huh got big plans”, bro she gave the EYES. We played a couple more bored games because I unfortunately do not know how to play any of the card games she wanted *I felt so much shame 🙃 like I don’t remember how to play go fish*

We walked around for a bit holding hands and it was all really nice. She’s so smart and kind. She drove me back home and I invited her in. I give her a tour of my place and on my desk she picks up the postcard that ACFC handed out at the last home game. And I let her to see if it prompts up her knowing of the team or recognizing Christen. YOO she says “I know her! I’ve seen her naked” when I tell you I cracked tf up. I asked her why and she tells me she lived in Chicago for two years and her friend took her to a Red Stars game!! I was like omg wth! I guess she saw CP and told her she was hot and as a birthday gag gift the friend gifted her Christen’s body issue and she kept it since then. I was like “wow what a coincidence I also think she’s hot” I then gave her a brief rundown on why I have the postcard, Christen, and being an ACFC STH. She doesn’t know woso and that game was her first but if things work out I’ll make sure it isn’t her last 👀

We chilled and then slept together 😩 I told her to stay because it was pretty late (or early depends how you look at it). She agreed and then we went out to her car and she had an overnight bag stashed in her trunk with her night stuff and clothes for work 🤭 I told her “ wow you came prepared” and we went inside got ready for bed and she did her whole night time skin care routine in the bathroom and it felt so nice doing such mundane stuff with someone. We cuddled and when I woke up this morning around 6:45 she was gone no note or text. I was like okay wow and she calls me 30 min later to open the door. SHE SHOWED UP WITH A FUCKING FLOWER VASE from the Vons a couple blocks from my place, looking so gorgeous in her clothes for work. I made some omelets and smoothies for breakfast. And then we both got ready and went about leaving for work.

I have now changed my plans and will be watching the pink flops game tomorrow night at my place with her. I’m just hoping they don’t let me down tomorrow because depending on how the game goes I could very well give her the ick. 🤣 I asked her out for the 2nd date on Sunday, so feel free to leave suggestions. thank you all for your interest in this

P.s I need advice on when to tell her I’m not out to my family 😔

-Age gap body issue french toast hookup anon

Oh my fucking god anon you hit the JACKPOT with this one! lol wow, I am very impressed with her game! How sweet is it that she went to get you a vase!

So happy for you! Sounds like you really like her and she CLEARLY really likes you! All these shows of effort! I tell ya, the dream!

Here you go, anons. I know you've been waiting on an update lmao!

[kanmom51]

The terms JK has used to describe JM

You don't realize there are so many terms JK used to describe JM until you start digging. I tried. I honestly did. To bunch them all together into one post. But I 100% know that I've missed something, forgot something on the way. So, I apologize in advance for that.

But then, I went to all the trouble to create this post, so what am I apologizing for?

Lol.

Just know there is probably more that I missed (and probably the most obvious I should have remembered off the batt - shame on me).

Let's get started, why don't we?

Nice

This is a term JK used to describe JM multiple times.

JK 15 June 2015:

Well, damn.

What do I do with this one?

I like JM's personality - he's nice, he treats me well.

I find JM attractive - his eyes are really beautiful when he smiles (not pretty, not beautiful, but "really beautiful" was his choice of words).

I find JM charming - no one can match his charm among the members.

If I were a girl I would want to date JM.

In one go we have:

Nice

Attractive

His eyes really beautiful when he smiles.

Charming.

And to top it up, we have A declaration of intent.

Charming

Well, just look above you, we have the charming.

But also:

Cute

This one is one we get on repeat.

And you know what? No wonder it is, given cute IS JK'S TYPE.

So, what has JK found cute about JM?

His toes.

His pinky

His sneezes.

His existence.

Gave JM the cute award.

Here you will find many more JM cute mentions:

And yep, there we go again.

And because we established JK's type is CUTE, then let's enjoy this too, why don't we?

Pretty

Pretty eyes:

Notice the use of the term REALLY both times he talks about JM's eyes? Really beautiful and really pretty are the terms he used.

Very pretty.

Pretty. Period.

Sexy

Sexy expression.

and this:

Which until this day I do not understand how he got away with.

"Ohhh! Jimin's sexy."

Exclamation mark of course.

Black swan JM sexy (oh, and elegant too):

And let's go out with a bang, why don't we?

Extremely sexy.

No. It wasn't enough to say that JM is sexy. Nope. He's extremely sexy!! Listen to JK. He definitley knows.

His final looks ranking

Now, you see, JK used to have to do these in the early years. Have to because he was asked to in interviews and shows. And in the early years he was a little/big shit, and used to rank JM last. I do think he had his reasons for it (didn't want to show his crush, didn't want to rank the older hyungs last, JM was the one he was closest with and it was easier for him to maybe apologize later on or maybe he thought he could make it up to him later), but whatever they were, what he did was inexcusable, because he really hurt JM by doing this (you clearly see it in the last ranking he was asked to do in 2014). Sadly, I'm not sure he was mature enough to understand it yet. In early 2015 he was asked about it, why he ranks JM last? Is JM really unattractive in his opinion? And his immediate answer was no. That he did it for laughs. Again, not understanding how hurtful it was.

But you see, JK didn't think JM wasn't good looking. Quite the opposite. He even said it, just not loud enough, not where it had more of an impact (I mean, look at how those clips circulate and fans really do believe this is what JK thought back in the day while he obviously did not).

Do you see what I see?

"In BTS Jimin Park's role is being #1 in looks".

Peeps, this is way backsies in 2015!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what JK thought about JM, not those stupid rankings where he thought he was there to entertain the audience delivering JM as the sacrificial lamb, maybe thinking JM's over the top reactions would be entertaining (outwards, cause he too thought he was there to entertain the audience and in the meantime was hurt to the core).

Before I move on to JK's final ranking in 2019, his "making things right for all to see and hear", I want to us to look a little more at that description JK wrote way back in 2015. You still see the hesitation not to give him a too outstanding mark in looks (he ranks him #1 in BTS but only gives him a 50 out of 100 mark). This could be him not wanting to show his crush or not wanting it to go to JM's head, lol. With the way JK was behaving, at times having to scrape his tongue off the floor and others having to adjust the jewels, I would say that in his head that mark was way higher than a 50, lol.

JM's charm points: eye smile, strong body, thighs (man has a thing for thighs too, we know that).

But our boy, he grew up. He matured. He understood. And he wanted to set things straight. Because to him, 2019 JK, JM ranked no. 1 in looks (surprise surprise) not on paper, but bringing it up as a question he 'happened' to pick, out loud. No real ranking was going on, it was only important for him for everyone to know that JM was #1.

Cute, sexy, lovely

Just for funsies. The lethal combination.

Always no. 1 to him

Now, this one is so much bigger than people give it. The way JK talks to JM, media room, all media outlets there, mid a sort of interview, there is a reason JM was trying to flee the scene, lol. JK calling him Jimin-ah like that, and following with "where you going?". This is his hyung, his elder, it's just not done, and most definitley not in the surroundings they were in. So yes, this one is big. JK dropping the honorifics calling him Jimin-ah, using a term of affection, and following it with "you're always no. 1 to me."

Handsome

he doesn't really use that term too much when it comes to JM.

But he did use it once that I can think of:

Maybe because it's a little detached, less personal. While pretty, especially a man calling another man pretty, that feels more personal. Pretty is not a term usually used to call a man, even more so by another man. This was back in 2015 and from the interaction we can see that JM was definitley not used to JK complimenting him. He got so flustered and felt there was an ulterior motive, which there was to start with, but definitley not after the success of JK's mission after the first time he called JM and got the "thank you" he was supposed to get.

Anyway, I can't for the life of me (getting old maybe) cannot think of another occasion, especially a later one, where JK calls JM handsome.

A fallen angel

Shameless:

When asked what he liked about JM who is sitting next to you, JK's answer was:

Not a description but when asked what part of JM's body is his favorite, JK's reply was:

His whole body.

This man is totally smitten.

And just incase after all of this you still don't think JK is head over heals for JM, I give you exhibit 20,171,108:

[jarofstyles]

Flame- Smolder

Hey… it been a bit. Don’t yell at me 🫶😁😁😁 sorry it took me a bit to update it on here! I hope you enjoy… 👀👀

Check out our Patreon for early access and 100+ exclusive writings!

Warnings- angsty 😬

—-

Y/N had fucked it up.

She couldn’t focus at all during the study group, checking her phone for texts from Harry but finding it very unusually empty. Her throat felt tight as she remembered how something she said had changed his tone, his slightly hurt face taking her back.

He wasn’t usually a very serious person. Harry was goofy and silly and so funny it often made her swoon, even when he was being sweet he had that puppy eye and dopey smile on his face. He was never one to just leave and she knew she had fucked it up- but she wasn’t sure if what she thought was the reason, was.

They weren’t dating. As much as Y/N wished they were, as much as it felt like it, Harry hadn’t mentioned anything about it and she had tried to set a mental separation so it wouldn’t hurt as badly when it ended. She was in love with him, utterly fucking smitten, and she had gone into this stupidly thinking that she could avoid that. Even with the tiny crush she had on him, she thought perhaps having sex would let it out of her system.

It did the opposite.

Y/N was spending nights with him, cuddling and kissing. Getting far closer and emotional than any friends with benefits should. She blames it partially on the fact that they had been such good friends for a while before they even started fucking around, that it had blurred a line since they’d already been close. It felt like a relationship, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t official. And Harry wasn’t really a relationship type- he hadn’t been in one in 2 years. He had hooked up with quite a few people, as did she, but this just felt significant.

Long fucking story short? She was terrified.

If he didn’t feel the same way, if he felt like this was just sex? It would crush her. It already felt like she was crushed just by how he had left their studying early and rejected hanging out. Her body felt small and cold and she tossed and turned in her bed, trying to sleep but the way he had abruptly left made her stomach ache all over again. It had been after she reminded him they weren’t dating.

But that wasn’t it. Was it? Was it jealousy? Annoyance he couldn’t come and she was ditching him again for the study group, anger at her talking to the guy? He had never said anything about them dating.

She just felt like an idiot.

Now she couldn’t sleep. She had a final in the morning and it was fucking important, and she couldn’t sleep. The one day she needed to. The bed felt even more empty and uncomfortable. Even the days they’d been spending apart with the studying had been way harder than she had let on. She had made it out to herself that it was good to have space, trying to hide that she was missing him so terribly it ached in her chest. She felt almost in denial, thinking that if she gave herself some space that her feelings would subside a bit.

That wasn’t how it worked, unfortunately. And she feared that Harry was feeling her pushing them away as pushing him away- which wasn’t the case. It was a sticky, irritating mess that was now impacting her sleep schedule.

It was 2 am and her brain wouldn’t shut off. Her bed was so cold and empty and her room was too quiet. There were no soft snores, no groans and no arms reaching to pull her closer to his body. No legs fighting their way to tangle with hers. No one to complain to that he was hogging the blankets or his legs were fuzzy against her own. Y/N had worked so hard to try to push the feelings of loving him away that now that the walls she had built up came crashing down, it was almost suffocating her. Like she was drowning in this weird guilted love that she had perhaps fucked up by getting defensive with him instead of just coming clean. Right now it felt like it wouldn’t be okay. He hadn’t texted her a real goodnight, hadn’t sent a cheesy pick up line, hadn’t done anything she had gotten so used to it had become second nature the past month.

The thing was Harry was probably the most perfect man she had met. Absolute boyfriend material. Sure, he had a slut phase, sure, he poked her buttons and prodded at her to make her eyes roll, but his pro’s far outweighed his cons. There was never a single time she had felt uncomfortable around him. Not in friendship, not in… whatever this sort of stage their relationship was. Y/N had a bit of a fear of men and Harry had never applied. He had always been different from the rest, proving himself to be the first truly respectable male influence in her life. That was partially why she had been so utterly terrified to like him as anything more than a friend. Of course she understood that it was laying the ground tiles of a good relationship, but relationships could fail. If it failed she would lose him completely.

Still… the idea of Harry with anyone else made her stomach turn violently. She sat in bed as she imagined being in his wedding party, watching his face as someone else walked down the aisle towards him. Adoration for someone who wasn’t her, loving and longing. Inside jokes she would never share, no more kisses, no making love, no soft murmurs and lips brushing the top of her head. No fingers tangled with her own as they walked to bed, no hands slipping under her shirt. No sweaters to borrow, no more scent of him on her pillow. No bad pickup lines, no dirty coffee mugs, no old band tee shirts in her laundry pile. Y/N gave him all sorts of shit because he had been obnoxious on purpose but she loved his antics. She bullied him playfully and he took it on the nose, knowing the intricacies of her triggers and how far was too far so he didn't press further past it. Even being a little shit he had managed to still be the person who respected her boundaries the most.

The loss that hadn’t even fully happened yet made her choke on a set of tears, turning as she stared at her phone.

She had to fix this. She couldn’t lose him. She couldn’t allow anyone else to take him and she had to stop avoiding how she felt.

-

Harry, a mile away, laid in bed almost mirrored perfectly. Staring blankly at his phone, rereading her messages as his thumb nervously stroked the side of his phone case. His nail caught on the silicone housing the volume buttons, a shaky exhale leaving his lips as he scrolled up to before their shift. The girl never failed to put a smile on his face, always making him laugh straight from his belly. Their little emoji guessing game made him smile to himself, her attitude visible through the tone of the text as he failed to get what she thought was so easy. Scrolling down a bit more, he saw their texts from when she had come over last night. Her playful mood sort of dismissing his true talk.

Perhaps it was slightly his fault for always taking the piss. He was sarcastic and full of jokes so he understood when it could be hard to understand if he was being serious or not, but he thought she would get it. He had missed her a lot the last few days. Not just the physical absence but her pulling away a bit to study. Now, though, he was beginning to let the little self loathing devil on his shoulder tell him things. Maybe she had been well aware of what he was saying and didn’t want to let him down so she played dumb instead. He had read something wrong along the way. That much was clear.

How had he gotten it so wrong? His eyes hurt from crying and his head throbbed, nose still stuffy. The shower hadn't done much to fix it, exhaustion tugging at his body but his mind still going a mile a minute with his overthinking. His bones felt tired and weak, feeling his bed equally as cold without her body curling up into his, her hair in his mouth and her fingers tugging his hand into her chest.

His mind was on how she had seemed to spill that sentence that had knocked him off filter. Still, it was echoing in his brain like his head was hollow and that was the one thing knocking around the walls of his skull. How easily she reminded him they were not actually dating. It had stung deep, especially with how he had been planning on asking her what the next steps were after their tests were done. He had been so sure she felt the same way. Friends with benefits didn’t do the shit they did. They didn't get little ‘thinking of you’ gifts, they didn’t embrace the way they did after sex. Didn’t pet the other hair and tell the other how much they adored each other. In Harry’s mind, friends with benefits did the do, were normal friends and that was that. The things they had been doing were couple level. Relationship territory.

Maybe he should have asked her what the arrangement would mean to her. Sure, they’d always been affectionate and obviously there was attraction there considering they’d always make out when they were drunk… but this was a different sort of thing. Harry couldn’t sleep well without her now. He had fucked himself.

There was nowhere in his or her apartment that he could look at without a memory of a moment of passion popping up. His bathroom sink, his shower. His hallway where they’d knocked the photo frame off the wall. His living room couch, his windows, his kitchen counter. For fucks sake, even his foyer. They were littered with traces of her memory and the physical reminders. They’d helped the other move into their apartments after 2 years of suffering through dorms. He wouldn't be able to forget and he really didn’t want to.

He loved her, even if this shit physically hurt.

His phone in his hand burned to text her but she was probably asleep. She needed sleep, working herself to the bone for good grades. He didn’t want to put that in jeopardy for this. As upset as he was, it wasn’t at her. Not really. It wasn't her fault he had read shit differently, that he had fallen so deeply in love he felt like he was drowning in his own feelings.

It was such an odd feeling. Overwhelming and compressing but thinking of her hurt and felt good at the same time. The fear had always been there but he found a bit of comfort in the unknown, at least back then. Now he was dreading the conversation because he knew in order to salvage their friendship he was going to have to be honest. Tell her he was getting too deep into it and they needed to stop the physical end of it. He would never want to stop seeing her but in order to keep himself from getting further down the rabbit hole of his feelings, he needed to stop.

That would be a huge challenge. Touching Y/N had become second nature, even more than it had been beforehand. Harry had always been touchy with her and she had let him. He was ready to hug and touch and snuggle at any moment, usually being the one to initiate. As time had progressed, Y/N had been more and more clingy with him and started initiating it. That had sent him to live on cloud nine. Having her hands in his hair or her lips pressing against his first, her body moving to lay on top of his? He had been overjoyed at finally having the energy matched. His body slumped further as he realized that would be the stop of it. It had to be, though. Each little touch, each little brush of fingertips and graze of lips had him digging himself deeper into his love for her.

The sex had been mind blowing. It was something he knew deep down he would never experience with anyone else. THere was no way in hell any other person could elicit the things Y/N did from his body. Fucking with feelings? He understood the hype now. They were not only sexually compatible, but their natural chemistry and care for one another had made their sex more open. Communication was easier, things were tried because they trusted one another. No one else could feel as good wrapped around him, no one else’s hands running down his back or legs wrapped around his waist would feel as right. Being with her felt like being home. He didn’t feel like moving house.

But he would have to salvage the ruins he had made of their home.

He flopped back on his bed after getting a glass of water, his body melting into the bed as he tried to figure out how the hell he was going to word this conversation tomorrow.

[austinslounge]

So... The time as come. We can spill some tea, right? I'm talking about the Zendaya-Jacob-Kaia stuff. I don't know much, I only read rumors 'cause I really love Z. I remember I was shocking when in the first place I saw the Zendaya and Jacob pap pics, especially because she always has been private and I never liked him. And than, out of nowhere, he started dating Kaia, without any official announcement about the break up with Z. I don't know if rumors started with those pap pics, but I remember that someone said he cheated on Z on her birthday??? And correct me if I'm wrong, but he hadn't cheated on Joey King too? A cheater is a cheater and adding the rumors about the Lili-Cole-Kaia thing (I didn't know about this one, I recently find out) it seems a pattern. Am I miss something?

Oooo -- this is an interesting topic.

I'll spill!

I'm a fan of Zendaya, so I was following her relationship with Elordi back then, so I can only spill what I personally observed, and also what other fans in the fandom kind of felt during that time.

**DISCLAIMER -- This is just based on observation and what I've heard/seen circulating in the fandoms. Sip or Spit.

Click below 👇 to read more, if you dare lol:

Jacob & Joey

Yes, lots of Joey King fans feel that he cheated on Joey because Joey kind of alluded to it by some of her likes around the time of their split. She was liking a lot of cheating posts. 👀

Supposedly, word on the street is that Jacob had cheated on his Aussie gf with Joey. 😬

Jacob & Zendaya & Kaia

Jacob and Zendaya started dating after she and Tom broke up in 2019. Tom was spotted with some blonde chick in London, and then not too long after that, Zendaya started dating her Euphoria co-star Elordi. I think they got spotted in Greece sometime around August of 2019.

What's interesting is that Jacob met Kaia Gerber at some point the very next month in September of that same year at some fashion show/event.

It's funny, because around that time, Kaia and Tommy Dorfman (I think he's trans now?) used to hang out a lot together, and now, you almost never see her with him/her. Not sure what happened. Anyway, so Jacob used to be seen at the same events that Kaia was at, and he was always hanging out with her and her friends. Other fans of Zendaya and I all thought that was pretty sus. 👀

Link

At one party, Jacob was even seen flirting with Kaia on video, all while he's dating Zendaya and had just been papped in NYC kissing her in Feb 2020 (so they were definitely official).

In all honesty, those papped pics with the Elordi/Zendaya kiss all looked pretty staged to me, but we're not going to get into that lol. 👀/

Around early September, Zendaya fans noticed Jacob (who had now come back to the states from Australia during covid) hanging out with Kaia Gerber again, and it was at this point we knew for a fact that he and Zendaya had split up. We weren't even shocked to see Kaia and Jacob together tbh because we all saw signs that he was always hanging around her even while he and Zendaya were dating.

By March 2020, as we all know, the global pandemic hit, and Jacob flew off to Australia, and we all know what happened after that. 👀

Next thing we know, Jacob flew to LA in September, and guess who he's spotted with???

You guessed it! KAIA GERBER.

This article above from E! came out when they got spotted out, and they were still trying to pretend that they were just friends, but we fans knew what was up. 😒

Jacob didn't cheat on Zendaya on her birthday, it's just that those pictures of Kaia and Jacob came out on Zendaya's birthday (or around her birthday), so that's why some fans assumed that he cheated on her birthday.

Most fans and I feel that Jacob and Zendaya actually split up months before it was common knowledge, and before he even stepped foot back on US soil. We all know he was keeping in touch with Kaia all throughout their relationship though.

There's no way you're jumping right to another woman when you first step foot back in LA unless you've been chatting her up for a while before you even get back into the country.

That's another reason why I don't trust Kaia. Too many weird sus things follow her around. Then I also remember the whole weird Cole Sprouse/Lili breakup and how she was around that whole thing too. 🥴 The girl is sus.

Another thing that's weird ---- Kaia and Elordi were spotted the last time together at some Halloween party back in 2021.

The next thing you know, she and Elordi have split up, and she's immediately spotted with and dating Austin Butler in early December 2021.

I'm sorry, but if you're moving on that fast from your boyfriend of a year and immediately already out with some other guy almost less than a month later, you can't tell me that there wasn't some type of overlap, or you got hooked up by somebody.

I personally kind of wonder if Kaia had her eye on Austin for a while (maybe ever since the Lily Rose fling) 👀, and dropped Elordi for a chance with Austin. Jacob himself also moved on pretty quickly as well, and they both had articles come out on the same day with their new respective significant others. (Again, weird!) I just find it strange that we still to this day don't know how Austin and Kaia even met each other (maybe mutual friends?), but I suspect Kaia and Co. pulled some strings because they don't even fly in the same circles like that lol. Not to mention the stark age difference between the two of them. 🥴 She was only 20 guys. At least she and Elordi were in the same circles and were attending the same events together before they dated. There is photo evidence. So their pairing made more sense. With Austin, it's like, there was nothing, and then BAM! All of a sudden they're pictured together lol. 😅

So anyway -- that's all the tea I have for today. Thanks for stopping by for Tea Time at Austin's Lounge lol. 🤭

[sassydefendorflower]

I am actually intrigued by another but I'll start with the one that pulled my eye first, the Royai Adoption AU (how surprising!). Considering you already had Ed adopt Roy for the best of results, I am CURIOUS 👀😁

Oh, this is a wild one - and I am not surprised you picked that one :D

Unsurprisingly, it is quite angsty. Surprisingly enough, it doesn't have that much Roy. At least the first part.

It is basically a story set a few years post-Promised Day in which Riza gets pregnant - the child is Roy's. She knows she cannot have this child, because a) she never wanted to be a mother for very complicated reasons and b) because it would destroy their plan to save Amestris in the long run if it ever came out that she had an affair with her superior officer. And duty always comes first. No matter how painful.

So, she reaches out to Ed and Winry, who just had their first child two years ago, and asks them to cover for her during her pregnancy - and they end up adopting the child.

(inspired by how in the late 19th/early 20th century unmarried women who got pregnant would go on "travels" or "vacations" on the countryside for six to nine months, and some aunt would suddenly have a new baby)

Here's a snippet from it:

“Ed said you had to ask us something?”  Winry was drinking sweet tea from a pitcher left in the icebox, her smile friendly, her skin glowing.  Riza opened her mouth to answer, only to find the words missing. She knew why she was here, knew how stupid her plan was, had gone to all this length just to make sure— and now that she was supposed to reveal it all, she couldn’t. “Riza asked if she could stay here. For about five or six months.” Edward’s words were a gift, and Riza gratefully accepted it. She knew she wasn’t imagining the look Winry sent her way, her eyes taking in the state of Riza’s clothes and the fit of them around her stomach. It was easy to forget, but Winry was awfully clever as well.  “How far along are you? We can introduce you to a woman’s doctor, if you need.” One hand resting on her own stomach. Winry’s voice was free of judgment. Still, her words felt harsh in their directness, Riza not prepared for the younger woman to go straight for the kill shot. Maybe she should have. Winry dealt in severed arms and legs, her business dependent on people with broken bodies in search for something more. How often did people make that mistake, Riza wondered, when looking at Winry? With her long blond hair, the big blue eyes, and friendly face it was easy to forget that Winry had helped stitch up her childhood best friend when she was only eleven years old.  Riza knew the calluses on her own hands intimately, knew they came from carrying her favorite rifle – a cherished Winchester – through countless battlefields, knew the dent on her shoulder to be permanent after hundreds of hours on her stomach shooting straight. The lines carved into Winry’s palms came from different tools, the scars on her arms an unavoidable byproduct of countless nights spent helping others, the paths they had chosen in life impossibly far apart. Looking at the strength in Winry’s stance, the love and affection on Edward’s face, it was easy to understand why her heart had urged her to seek them out. Whatever came next, those two would be able to help. “A little bit over four months.” Riza had no reason to lie. “And I can’t— an abortion would be too dangerous. Especially considering how far along I am. I cannot risk dying over this.”

Riza's in an awfully vulnerable spot for most of this fic, so her voice is harder for me to find! I hope you still liked it :D

[yarrystyleeza]

Ok actually I didn't have to think long, lol.

What would your ideal first date with Mikey (aka our favorite Irish mob daddy) consist of??? 👀

I am really really REALLY sorry it took me (5) months to finish this piece, a lot of stuff was going on (my life was a complete mess, still tho). But since it's Valentine's day, I HAD to post something, and what's better than a date with Mikey for a Valentine's gift?

Something else I had to say, is that I had no idea how to write HCs—which is the vibe that I got from your ask (hehe), so, I improvised, and made up a whole story of what would your first date with Mikey would be (with a back story as well).

That being said, let's jump right into the act! And thank you, thank you, thank you, so much, for submitting this request and for your patience, please enjoy! 💖💖💖

It's Always Raining In Dublin (M.K)

Requested by @loveroftoomanyfandoms

Pairing and dynamic: Michael Kinsella x female!reader (reader is a bookshop owner), strangers to friends (?) to lovers

Prompt: fluff, first date goes wrong but then perfect, rain, rain, and more rain.

Word Count: 4.3k!

Writer's note: this was supposed to be finished back in September, which was five months ago, but I was struggling for a while with both a terrible writer's block and life and then BOOM I got the inspiration to finish it. Also, this is the very first time I ever write anything for Michael, so I'm a little nervous, I hope it's good enough though.

(I proofread this almost a thousand times WITH my bestie as well, so if there's anything wrong with the grammar and/or the lexical content, we were really exhausted and couldn't see shit—we're sorry T-T).

It was a rainy morning when you truly met him, it rained almost everyday in Dublin but that day was a core memory. You had just unlocked the door of your little bookshop and started to sort things out before your costumers arrive.

Usually, your first client doesn't show up before nine-thirty in the morning, which gives you spare time to dust off the shelves and pick up a big cup of coffee from the nearby coffeeshop down the street—in this never-ending autumn.

That morning was no different. It was pouring heavily but you're used to opening your shop on rainy days, it's always raining in Dublin anyway, and if you had to take each rainy day off—you'd end up with a couple of fingers on your hands as you count the days you worked on per year.

You were organizing the children's books section when you heard the sweet chime of the little bell hanging on your front door. It was barely eight and you happened to just finished your coffee and breakfast, getting ready to start your day. But it began earlier than you expected it to.

Your costumer was a man, you assumed he was in his early forties, maybe for the dark thick beard that covers most of his face. His face was strangely familiar to you, you just couldn't exactly remember when it was when you saw him.

But you're sure that this was the prettiest face of a man you've seen in a while. His greenish hazel brown eyes sparkled like a kaleidoscope with a hint of an exquisite permanent-sadness, and his flushed skin and dampened hair glistened due to the torrent outside.

You felt your breath stuck in your throat for a moment before you could clear it to speak.

"good morning, sir, how may I help ya today?" you faced him fully and your skirt swirled—following your motion with a swoosh in the air, you catch him glance down at it for a second before returning his eyes on you.

"I... The book ye suggested ta me the other day..." he starts gently and the memory comes back rushing immediately. You remember that warm tone, you had indeed met this gentleman before.

A week ago, he came over to your shop and you recall how lost he was in his search for the perfect book to read. And you, being a bookworm, and also the owner of this little corner bookshop— you had to help him. You gave him a suggestion for a book out of his box—out of his comfort readings.

And from the gentle look on his face, you suppose that he liked it.

"I'was grand," the man smiles softly and the corners of his eyes crinkle a little, you find yourself grinning back at him.

"Ye finished it quickly!" you commented in excitement and he looked a bit puzzled, a smile softly drawn on his lips with a little crease of confusion. It was adorable.

"I mean—I'm glad t'was grand that ya finished it quickly." He lipped a silent "oh" before his cheeks burn red as he smiled and his eyes almost disappeared.

"Are ya here for another book?" you asked when the silence fell on the place, raindrops kept knocking on the glass front nonstop, music to your ears with this handsome man smiling and radiating joy to your eyes.

"Ye can say that..." his voice was quiet but you can hear it in this downpour noise, he tilted his head to the side and shrugged, and it was impossible for you to not aw at it.

"How about we go with somethin' even newer for today?" you suggested, he nods to the side with a little smile, you walk and he follows you down the aisle.

"Romance or crime and mystery?" you stop at the novels sections, "pride and prejudice, I guess ya must've heard of it before," you pick the book off the shelf, he gently takes it from your hand and examines the cover thoroughly with his amber eyes, and he looked so interested.

"Or, we can go with Agatha Christie's illustrious murder on the orient express," you take the book and hand it to him, "or... Take a whole new genre and check Mary Shelley's horror Frankenstein? It's one of me favorites," you hand him the third book after strolling down the aisle a little more.

The man looked puzzled now, he seemed interested in each one of these books. But you patiently wait for him to speak.

"Have ya made up yer mind yet, sir?" you ask.

He shrugged with a sigh, raising his brows high, "they all look grand— can't lie t'ye," he answered.

"They are— but I can make ya an offer, I'll give ya the three books with the price of one and a half—and in return, ye're gonna write me a review of each book to add to me list of reviews and suggestions here on me wall," you tilt your head to the side, eyeing his beautiful features and almost forgetting you were waiting for his answer.

"Tha' seems grand ta me," he chuckled.

"I'm glad it is!" you walk him back to the cashier check, you get back behind your computer to scan the books and add in the discount.

"That'll be 18.46 after the discount," you lean against the wooden surface with your arms supporting you up.

He nods and hands you the money. "There ya go--" you're about to hand him the change. He shook his head, "no, keep tha change, miss..." he cuts you off gently, looking down at the little pin with your name on it.

You tell him your name to catch his eyes back up and he nods with a little smile, "Michael." he says, only taking the receipt and the paper bag of books.

He turns and makes his way to the front door, "Michael?" you loved the sound of his name rolling off your tongue. He stops and turns with a puzzled face, "thanks fer the tip," he smiles and you can see the blush on his face a mile away. He leaves and you watch him take a turn to the right before he disappeared under the northern downpour.

The next week, Michael shows up at your shop's door on a Saturday afternoon, a big smile drawn on his face. You were dealing with a little kid trying to choose a book, you turn to see him and he immediately waves at you, a little sweet grin splits the darkness of his thick beard. "Ya can take the book now, pet, momma's gonna send me the money later, 'kay?" The two of you watch the little kid waddle out of the shop.

"Sorry t' interrupt yer work," he says as he crossed the distance between you. You shake your head, "at all, Michael. How was yer read? Which book did ya read first?" you asked, leaning against the shelves.

He smiled wider when you said his name, almost startled to speak. "Um, the-- the mystery one, murder on the orient express," he answered.

"And did ya like it?" you ask him again with enthusiasm and butterflies crowding your lungs. He rubs the back of his neck with a sigh and an apologetic smile. "Ya don't seem like ya liked it, did ya?" you chuckled.

He scrunched his nose and tilts his head to the side, "the ending was unexpected at all ta be honest with ya," he shrugs.

You nodded and hummed to his answer, "Christie is never expected, that's why we love her," he nods back.

You notice the two paper cups of coffee he held in his hand when the smell of freshly baked-and-brewed coffee beans hits your nostrils. You were so confused why you never noticed it before, maybe you were distracted by Michael's presence as a whole, or his always-glistened ambers if you were specific. Michael notices the confused smile on your face. "I— thought I should bring ye coffee, as a thank ya."

Your smile grows with a blush as he hands you a cup, "thank ya, Michael, that's truly sweet of ya," you coo, his face blushes and shyly drops his eyes to the ground.

The sky thunders and you nearly jumped out of your place, both of you stare at the other and you burst out laughing. "Did that scare ya off, pet?" Michael asked with a worried smile, you kept giggling.

"Not really but... It was... Unexpected?" you answer after taking a deep breath.

"Like Christie?" he chuckled, you burst out laughing.

"Like Christie."

The weeks turned into months and Michael began to show up more and more often, and you eagerly waited every morning to see his shiny hazel eyes and his beautiful smile, one that you keep daydreaming about until he steps into your shop with two hot cups of coffee.

He turned from a regular client—to be a resident of this little bookshop. Michael started to stay in with you and help you organizing and monitoring the place—he would even help the little kids in choosing their books, too.

Once, you found him sitting on the oak floor, the little boys and girls gathered and sat around him, while he narrated a children's book. Your heart melted at the sight, and luckily that wouldn't be the last time.

The kids would come into your shop asking you if uncle Michael was there to read for them; Michael was now a part of your place, and you're happy to have someone like him to keep your company.

One evening —after three months of seeing each other daily— when the sky was cloudy and the sunset light was becoming less visible. The weather broadcast had warned about an upcoming rainstorm tonight—so you had to call it a night and leave.

You made sure everything was in the right place and order before you left. You put your autumn coat on and stuff your phone inside your purse. You take the keys out and you make your way towards the exit. Michael was waiting for you by the front door. Both of you get out of the shop and you turn to lock it up.

Michael calls your name gently in a tone barely louder than a whisper before you head on your way home and it makes your stomach churn in the most beautiful way.

You turn to look at him, he's shifting in his place, hands stuffed inside his leather jacket pockets and face all flustered and burning red. "Can I walk ye home tonight? It's a lil' darker than usual, I'd be worried 'bout ye, pet," he asks, voice so desperate. Your heart skips a beat—but it comes back pounding.

Your smile doesn't leave your face and it starts to hurt your cheeks. "Sure thing, Michael, I'd love to," you nodded, he grins and his eyes crinkle and his orbits shine.

The sky darkens but you could still see the perfect smile on Michael's face, little raindrops started sliding against your skins and it was a scene out of a painting, so magical and calm.

You make it to your place and you exchange goodbyes. You watched him walking down the concrete path and disappeared behind the brick wall.

You made your way to your doorstep, almost taking your keychain out when Michael calls out your name, you turn to face him, he's all soaked in water but his beautiful grin never left his face.

"Can I take ya out fer dinner tomorrow night?" your jaw dropped and your head screamed 'yes, yes, yes'.

"Yes! Yes, y'can, Michael!" you could barely make out his silhouette as your grin almost shut your eyes. He's almost jumping in his place, he sighs with a big smile.

"I'll pick ya up tomorrow at seven, is that grand fer ya, pet?" he shouts.

"Of course, Mikey!" you shouted back.

You walked into the warmth of your house soaked and giggly, you ran upstairs straight to your bedroom to plan an outfit, you didn't care about messing up the carpet, you'd deal with that later.

You quickly made up your mind about a floral day dress you had bought recently and you recall thinking of Michael while buying this dress.

You guess he's going to love it, he usually complimented you when you wore dresses and let your hair down and that's what you're going to do.

You took the next Sunday morning off as you started to prepare yourself for the date, pampering yourself with all the skin and hair care products you can find in your house.

You wanted to look perfect for him.

You felt overwhelmed with happiness, making up the scenarios of your evening. Where will he take you out? Is it a fancy restaurant or a local diner? What would he bring you? Flowers definitely, he's a flower-gifting man, as you realized, it was definitely his way of showing affection. He brought flowers every couple days for the shop.

Now it's nearing seven and you happened to just finished your look. You put on your dress and you fix your hair, adding a little floral accessory to the side of your braided bangs. You looked stunning, you hoped that you'd give the same impression to Michael.

The doorbell rings as you slipped into your heels, you look at your mirror for the very last time tonight before opening the door. He looked so fine though he wore his shirt and trousers casually with his leather jacket. You could kiss him already.

His eyes stayed fixed on yours for a brief moment before he exhaled with a stunned smile. "Y—ya look magical, pet," he breathed out and it made you turn completely red.

"I tried me best..." you shyly drive your eyes away and tuck a stray strand back behind your ear.

"Y'don' even have ta try, love, ye're always lookin' good," he shyly says and you could see his cheeks prickling red as he drove his eyes down to his shoes.

"I um... Brought ya these," he revealed a bouquet from behind his back, it was of red roses. It matched your dress perfectly. His head tilted to the side with a smile as he handed it to you.

"They're so wonderful, Mikey, loved them, thank ya," you take the bundle. "Ya look great too, Mikey, loved yer shirt," you had to compliment him, he deserved it.

His face reddened beneath his beard, "thanks, love."

"Ye're ready, aren't ya, love?" he asked with a smile.

"I am, let me get me purse and coat first—"

He shook his head, "take yer time, pet," he countered.

You turn behind the door and take your coat off the hanger. Sliding inside it, you take your purse, grab an umbrella and widen the little crevice of the door to pass outside.

Michael hesitantly held your hand but when he noticed how you instantly wrapped your palm around his—he intertwined his fingers with yours, with no plans on letting go.

You walked down to the main street where Michael tried to stop a taxi for the two of you. "We don't have to take it," you stopped him with a gentle hand on his back, he was a little confused, "I'd prefer walking with ya, Mikey," you explained yourself. A big smile breaks the darkness of his beard and you could swear he beams at you.

As you strolled down the concrete path, the sky thundered vigorously, the voice rumbled and echoed in the air, and it wasn't long before it started dropping tears upon the two of you.

You could see Michael's face turning dark, he cursed under his breath, you rubbed a pat onto his bicep, and pulled the umbrella over your heads, offering him a soft smile. He smiled back but you still felt how uneasy he was.

"It's okay, Mikey, I love walkin' in the rain," you comment, and that kinda eases the tension of his demeanor.

The walk is silent, and you could still feel him timid as you held his forearm, you know he can't control the weather, but you don't really mind if it's sunny or gloomy, as long as you are with Michael, it's all what matters to you.

The two of you made it to the restaurant, and Michael's face turned even darker. A sign on the glass door reads 'electricity outage, sorry for disturbing' was hung on the glass door. You turn to look at Michael, his eyes are glaring with fire.

The receptionist types something on his phone and sticks it to the glass, "it's coming back in a few minutes, we're working on the issue, we truly apologize for such occurrence... See, Mikey? We can wait a few more minutes," you smiled back at him, but Michael wasn't really buying it.

He gulped and closed his eyes, huffing out a stream of hot air. "It's okay, Mikey, we can go somewhere else if ya don' wanna wait..." you suggested.

He shook his head, "no, I booked us a table in there a week ago and I ain't takin' ya anywhere less than that!" he tried to remain calm but his tone was getting angrier, "I can't let this day go wrong like tha'!" he expressed, wiping his mouth and tugging onto his beard, something you noticed he does whenever he feels tensed.

You rubbed his bicep and squeezed it a little, your hand unconsciously walk up to his face and you scratch his thick beard. He smiles a little, but his eyes are glistened with tears like glass balls.

Things weren't going his way, for years and years, and today he wished he could finally do something he wanted. You didn't mind if you got the chance to dine at the restaurant or took your date home, what you only cared for was Michael's presence with you. But to him, it seemed like today too is going wrong and he has no clue how to fix it.

And you truly hated to see Michael angry or sad, he doesn't deserve to feel any of that. He's a sweetheart, he never put you down, so you have to keep him up.

"Have I told ya about the one time I almost died?" you ask him, and he clearly shifts demeanor to your question, you hide a smile waiting for his answer. Your ways might be effective after all.

He shook his head with knitted brows, you nodded and hummed. "Well, that day, I was picking up coffee from the shop I'm a regular for," you start, and you notice him directing all his being to you, "that day, me favorite waiter wasn't there to get me order, and another one got it," you leant onto the glass, after getting closer to him so the umbrella would cover the two of you better.

"But, when me order arrived, it was a wrong one, and I was really mad, I told the waiter to change it, but he couldn't, they can't give the drink to someone else and they're not allowed to throw it away," you got closer, and Michael was so integrated into the story.

"So I had to accept it, but I was still so angry at that, I wasn't seeing things clearly, and I was crossing the street and a car almost hit me!" you tell animatily, Michael was shocked.

"Ya didn't hurt yerself pet, did ya?" he was worried and you loved his face when he was.

You huffed a chuckle and shook your head, "I didn't hurt meself, and didn't spill me coffee either, and when I arrived to the bookshop and took a sip of it, I discovered that it was so much better than me regular order," you shrugged, Michael smiled but he wanted to know more, "and now it's me new regular."

Suddenly, the lights came back, as the night had already fallen. Michael's face lit up a little and you grinned to that. You walk into the place and the receptionist leads you to your table with plenty of apologies. Michael helps you into your seat and settles down his, released a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.

You reach out for his hand across the table, pulling him out of the cloud forming over his head. "It's okay, Mikey... We're inside now," you offer him a smile, he smiles back, you rub his knuckles with your thumb.

A waitress approaches your table with a note in hand, Michael took a deep breath and looked up at her. She asks for your dinner of choice. You look at Michael, informing him that you want him to order for the two of you, that you want what he wants.

"Two Seared Scallops with Pomegranate and Meyer Lemon," Michael answered after taking a glance at the menu then you. You nodded with a smile.

The waitress nods and takes her way back to the kitchen. Michael smiles at you, but his face drains of all blood when he sees the waitress approaching your table with an apologetic smile. "We truly apologize, sir and ma'am, but we're out of scallops and they won't be arriving today. Ye're gonna have ta change yer order," she tries to break the news as gentle as possible.

Michael is frustrated, his thick brows are firmly knitted over his gentle eyes, you caught them lose their shine, and you had to do something about it.

"It's fine, we can have steak, mashed potatoes, and wine, right Michael?" you had to give him a choice too. He looks up at you, you tilt your head to the side with a soft smile. He nods.

"Alright, two steaks... How d'ya like yer steak, ma'am?" the waitress asks. "Medium well," she nods to your answer and turns to look at Michael.

"And how d'ya like yer steak, sir?" you sneak your hand and place it on his, sending a supportive smile his way. He respires, "same as hers." he answers.

The waitress nods and walks back to the kitchen once again. You turn to face Michael, "I wouldn't mind if we never ate here, I just enjoy sitting with ya, Mikey," you hold his hand, he almost sobs, you reach out for his other hand, now fondling both of them. "It's you Michael, I ain't here fer the fancy dinner or the expensive wine, I'm here fer ya Mikey baby."

He finally smiles. "Thank you, pet," he whispers. You shake your head, "t's notin', Mikey."

Another waiter arrives with a tray of wine and globular glasses. The waiter pours your glass first and turns to pour Michael's—when he accidentally smacks your glass and he spills it onto your dress.

You hiss at the sudden cold wetness, trying your best not to curse or cry—because you too feel the world isn't working its best way with you today.

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to stop the tears from forming.

The waiter keeps apologizing, and you already know how Michael's reaction might be without even opening your eyes and looking at him.

But you can't let this day go bad, you still have a chance to fix it, you can make it 100% better with your reaction, you can stop the chain of bad occurrences.

You open your eyes and look up at the waiter, "it's alright I... I just need a towel..." he rushes back to the kitchen. You grabbed a napkin off the table and tried to absorb the wine spilled on your dress.

"Tha' fuckin' idiot..." Michael curses.

You chuckle, "it's okay, Mikey, me dress is red, it won't change notin', I'll be fine."

Once you made sure most of the dampness was gone, you readjusted yourself in front of Michael, wearing a beaming smile on your pretty face.

His eyes fondly meet yours and you're flustered, looking down at the silverware displayed on the table.

"How are ya like tha'?" Michael asked, resting his cheek in his palm. You looked up at him, and he's got the sweetest smile you've ever seen him doing. His eyes beautifully sparkled to the golden lights of the candles.

"Like what?" you answer with a question. He gestures at you with his chin.

"How're ya such a beam of light?" you turn red at his question, "how are ya, after all tha', still smilin' and tryin' ta make it work?"

"Well," you swallowed with a smile, "bad things won't stop happenin' t'ya, Mikey love, that's somethin' ya should keep in mind, but they can't stop ya from looking at the bright side of it all." Michael furrowed in participation.

"Y'know? I'll never get a chance ta make that day perfect more than it is now," you simply say, "and if I would get a chance ta fix anythin', I wouldn't, because it's already going perfect f'me."

The two of you spend the rest of the evening on nibbling and chattering. Your dress was now cold and sticking to your thighs but you didn't mind, the food turned stale and cold but you didn't care; as long as it was Michael with you, you didn't mind anything else in the world.

Michael pays for the dinner and accompanies you to the exit. The two of you look outside, the rain is heavily pouring over the city, and it's loud enough you could hear it from behind the glass door.

You turn to look at him, he smiles and nods, pushing the door and escorting you with an arm wrapping you to his side.

You step into the street under the rain and you're immediately showered. You snicker, holding Michael's hand and looking at him, your eyes asking him to join you. Michael giggles as he follows you, now holding the two of your hands softly as the skies decanted its whole heart on the two of you.

"Y'know ya can't wait for the rain ta stop. It's always raining in Dublin anyway, Mikey." you whisper, he smiles and cradles your cheeks and he pulls you into a kiss, warming your hearts under the cold downpour.

Likes and reblogs are appreciated, thank you for coming to my sleepover celebration! 💞💞💞

[nevertheblood]

Trick or treat!

HIIIIII thank you for the ask <33

I remember that you liked love in the vein 👀 so I bring some WIP from the same royalty AU-verse... technically it is an epilogue to the whole fic but I don't know if I'll ever get so far as to publish everything (there's a lot of fantasy politics shenanigans involving Verlaine and a GREAT deal of angst before we get to happily married adult skk....) so just in case it never makes it out there into the world, here's some fluffy pregchuu smut !!

[NSFW, trans male chuuya, pregnant sex, mentions of improper binding (due to historical setting), probably the soppiest most saccharine nonsense you've ever read in your life but I NEED THEM TO BE HAPPY.... they go through a lot.... that I didn't write yet 😭]

anyways pls enjoy your treat!! happy early halloween 🎃🕸️🍬👻

The servants know by now to leave their chambers well alone at this hour. This time, after the sun has climbed above the horizon but before the bell in the banquet hall sounds for breakfast, is all theirs. As far as they’re concerned, within those precious hours, aeons could pass, their kingdom could rise or fall outside the bedroom door, and they would be none the wiser; lost in their own domain, the wonderland of one another.

Once, when they were much younger, still in the process of learning how to love, Dazai had said I want to kiss you everywhere. When we’re married, I promise I will. The list of Dazai’s sins is probably longer than he would like to admit, but he doesn’t break his promises to Chuuya. Not anymore, not ever again.

Today, Chuuya’s skin is sun-warmed, sweat-salted, and Dazai’s mouth maps the curves and hollows of his body with practiced cleverness.

“Do you know,” Dazai says, his breath a caress on Chuuya’s hipbone, “Why I first fell in love with you?”

“Why?” Chuuya replies, in the half-attentive tone of someone who’s sort of heard this story before but really wouldn’t mind hearing it again. Dazai, of course, indulges him.

“You were always—” he presses a kiss to the place where Chuuya’s hip and thigh meet, and Chuuya shivers, “—so full—” another kiss, this time closer to the inner thigh, “—of life.”

Chuuya laughs quietly. “Is that what you’d call it?” “Obviously.” For once, Dazai’s tone is completely serious. “It can’t have been easy, to find out in your mid-teens that you weren’t what the world had told you you were. But the whole time, you were so… so bright. You burned through the hardship, like a little phoenix. It was beautiful.”

“You had your own hardships,” Chuuya says softly, “And they were very different from mine.” “I know,” Dazai says, “But seeing you… it made me want to live, too. Like you wanted to live.” Chuuya looks at him, from where he’s lying back against the pillows. “This was years ago,” he says. “Why are you telling me this now?” “You are more full of life now than ever,” Dazai answers quietly, before placing the gentlest of kisses on Chuuya’s stomach, “There is life growing in you. And I am so in love with you for it.”

Chuuya reaches out one hand to tangle in Dazai’s hair, teasing out the morning bedhead curls. “It gives you the will to live?” “Something like that.” “You want to know why I fell in love with you?” Dazai props himself up on his hands, holding himself carefully over Chuuya’s body, and shifts upwards on the bed, close enough that Chuuya can kiss his nose, which he does. “Tell me?”

“You like to think of yourself as a terrible person, but you aren’t. You’re actually rather selfless.” “Oh?” Dazai takes Chuuya’s hand where it’s resting next to his head, kisses his fingertips softly. “And what makes you such an impeccable judge of character?” “Despite everything,” Chuuya says, curling his fingers around Dazai’s, “That whole time, you loved me. I felt it so strongly. You hated yourself, you hated this world, so much, but you loved me.” Dazai smiles, a little ruefully. “I think that’s still true, actually.” “Stupid,” Chuuya says, flicking him in the head with one well-aimed finger. “This… almost-life that’s inside me. You put it there, didn’t you?”

Dazai rubs his forehead, disgruntled. “I sure hope it was me. What’s your point?” “You have such capacity for life, you suicidal idiot,” Chuuya says, folding his arms around Dazai’s neck, pulling him in closer, “And I won’t ever let you forget it.” “Enough philosophising, already,” Dazai says, sliding one hand under Chuuya’s thigh, squeezing in a way that makes Chuuya blush bright red, “Wasn’t I busy kissing you?” Chuuya splutters indignantly. “You started the philosophising, asshole.”

“Maybe I did. So what?” Sixteen years they’ve known each other, and Dazai’s favourite hobby is probably still finding new ways to get Chuuya riled up. “Shut up and kiss me before I wring your stupid neck.” Or maybe Dazai’s favourite hobby is kissing Chuuya. The jury is still out. “Gladly.” This time, his lips stay glued to Chuuya’s, while his hands do the wandering, letting his senses remind him of everything so tenderly familiar and everything so painfully new. For one thing, Chuuya is binding less frequently, these days, the changes in his body making everything just this side of too painful, and the tangible, ever-present lines on his skin around his ribs and underarms normally left by the press of the bandages are less noticeable to the touch. He’s put weight on, too, which he gripes about but Dazai adores, the way the smooth flesh around Chuuya’s waist, hips, thighs, dips and yields like warm clay under Dazai’s hands, every angle of his body turning softer, rounder.

Dazai is no cartographer, despite the hours his father and Kunikida had spent trying to teach him, but he’d gladly make a thousand charts of the topography of Chuuya’s body, his index and middle finger his compass, measuring each line and curve in perfect design.  His hand pauses at Chuuya’s bare hip, silently questioning. Chuuya seems to hear his request and parts his legs just a little, allowing his husband’s exacting hands to slide between his spread thighs. “Chuuya,” Dazai says, the name a sigh against their kiss, “First thing in the morning and you’re already so wet for me.”

“I dreamed of you,” Chuuya says, voice a little floaty like he’s still halfway in the dream itself. “Yeah?” Dazai teases him, fingertips circling where he knows Chuuya wants him to touch, “What happened?” “You bent me over the writing-desk and fucked me ‘til I screamed,” Chuuya says dreamily, “You haven’t been that rough with me in ages. You know I like it when you’re a little insane.”

Despite himself, Dazai feels just a touch guilty. “I--” “Hush,” Chuuya cuts him off, eyes soft. “I know why you’re treating me gently. I don’t mind it.” “It’s okay?” Dazai slips one finger inside, breath catching in his throat at the way Chuuya feels around him. “More than okay.” Chuuya makes a quiet ‘nn’ sound of pleasure, eyelids fluttering as Dazai crooks his finger. “Ah, please--”

Chuuya is beautiful like this, so beautiful. The way his hair falls over one shoulder, curling as it begins to stick to his skin, framing the healing bites and bruises Dazai’s already left along the column of his throat in bright orange like neat embroidery. The way he whimpers quietly, covering his mouth with the back of one hand, trying to act like he’s not quite so affected as he is by the curl of Dazai’s fingers inside. The way he moves his body, lifting his hips upwards, trying to fuck himself harder on Dazai’s hand, clinging tight to his husband, a life raft in the ocean of their bed. “Nnngh, Osamu,” Chuuya pants, and Dazai’s head still spins a little even though his first name has become much more common-use since their marriage, “Need you inside me.” And what kind of prince would Dazai be to deny his beloved consort anything?

[sketalya]

psst! hey kid! I heard you like countryhumans!

I remember back when I was active in the fandom (it's still kind of a guilty pleasure fandom) I had a few things that happened to the Philippines and co:

-when Philippines is standing up right, he's Philippines, when he's upside down, he's Martial. there was this incorrect quote I wrote where he's doing cartwheels and shouting "I am Philippines! I am martial! I am Philippines! I am Martial!"

-America once injured his eye and had a cotton pad over it. Philippines wouldn't stop calling him "cotton eyed Joe"

nobody knows where he came from, or where he went.

-Indonesia has a giant fish tank at his house.

-there was this incident where the south east Asia gang showed up to the meeting building early to find a guy in a janitor's outfit and a box van trying to get into the building, they asked what he was doing, and the guy said that their boss had ordered some new chairs and he came to take the old chairs. so they decided to help him out by not only unlocking the doors for him, but also helped him load all of the chairs into his van.

Come to find out, ASEAN never ordered any new chairs, they just helped a guy steal all of their chairs.

-Cambodia lost both of her legs to a landmine and relies on the gang to carry her around.

-same year as the chair incident, at summer boot camp (which is just a glorified summer camp for Country humans) Indonesia and Vietnam got sick and tired of eating camp food and decided to go out and gather their own food.

it was a disaster, when they came back, Vietnam's arm was covered in bee stings and honey, and Indonesia somehow was able to catch a fish, but he had no way of cleaning it, or cooking it, so they just threw the fish back into the water and never complained about camp food ever again.

-same year, while discussing on how to get back on ASEAN's good graces after falling for the classic Bavarian fire drill routine with the chairs, Philippines flew off the swing set and accidentally took out ASEAN

-that was also the same year a squirrel broke into the male European countries' cabin, and sat on Italy's chest. and Italy freaked out thinking it was a rat resulting in every single country in that cabin to freak out because all European countries minus Poland and Iceland, are terrified of rats.

(Poland wasn't there because he and Hungary and Czech packed up their horses, and took an annual road trip that included horse back riding, and taking part in a medieval festival where Poland dresses up as a Winged Hussar, and Hungary goes as a Hungarian Hussar as well)

Yoo...That was a lot of headcanons and they all sounds interesting 👀✨✨✨

And the fact that you also made headcanons for countryhumans outside of ASEAN is very cool....So far I have only focused on Sea countries, especially Maphilvietindo TwT

Where in the AU I'm working on, their story focuses on their lives in a special school for nations (Which of course is not a regular school, it has a fantasy and mystery genre, and the school has some crazy things going on around it)...So yeah, it's like a school AU where the countries are the students while international organizations like ASEAN, UN, EU, NATO, and others are the teachers lol

And besides Maphilvietindo, I also made some headcanons for other Sea countries...Like Singapore who is secretly a gamer, Cambodia and Thailand who have a sibling rivalry, Brunei being the sanest person in the group, and other 😂

I made a little headcanon for other countries... Like Romania being a vampire and being friends with Bulgaria being a vampire hunter, and some other crazy headcanons

(I think this is my first time yapping about CH on my TTTE blog lol...But it's really nice talking about this TwT💖)

[demigodofhoolemere]

Cursory verdicts on the two premiere eps:

Space Babies: Aside from one wholly unnecessary political line of dialogue I thought this was decent. Yeah, the entire premise with talking babies is silly and it can be hard to look past that, but Doctor Who has a way of making you care about things that should sound completely stupid, so I was still on board. I thought the Doctor and Ruby both had good material, individually and together. There were definitely aspects that were an obvious rehashing of The End of the World, but if this is supposed to be a starting point for the show for some people then I get why.

The Devil’s Chord: Very much not a fan of the Maestro character generally but thankfully it didn’t make the rest of it any less entertaining imo. There was some good fun and some interesting drama. Ncuti and Millie are both very good at selling intense emotion as well as joy. Most importantly, THE SUSAN REFERENCE!!! Hearing him talk about living in Totter’s Lane with her at that moment in time made me nearly tear up, thinking about One and Susan just existing right out there, so close by and at the start of it all. (Idk if they should already be there, I believe Susan said that ‘these past 5 months’ were the happiest of her life, unless she’s referring to how long she’s been at Coal Hill if they have a very early start to the school year, but oh well). Am I crazy for thinking this may be an early tease for her returning? She’s been brought up before but never in this capacity of the Doctor wondering what may have happened to her. It feels like it could lead to seeing what did happen to her in the time since, and I just remembered that a heavily cloaked figure roughly Carole’s height was once spotted on set being rushed into a vehicle before anyone could see anything — could it be…? 👀 Now I’m thinking maybe “the one who waits” could use her as a hostage to manipulate and torture the Doctor.

Also, love the cameos from June Hudson and Murray Gold, and THIS perfect shoutout:

Bit giant to still call an Easter egg but if you don’t happen to know the one single line of dialogue it’s from then it means absolutely nothing. I was very very happy to see that.

[a-very-fond-farewell]

WIP tag game!!!

Lamb Loose 👁️👁️ (u know me very well)

(hehe I do know you dear 👀)

so, I will try to use my (nonexistent) pitching abilities to both: 1) introduce new people to what I’m currently working on; and 2) give you (yes you Fifi) some more intel to munch on while you wait for the next update. let’s see how it goes.

1) how it began:

it was a dark and stormy night when I finished the drama Evilive, in mid-November of last year, and I couldn’t sleep. for days I couldn’t stop thinking about the characters and I decided to put my Word of Honor big fic on hold to give this new fandom a chance. the plan was to finish everything around the 80k words mark but.. oh boi. I knew myself. I knew I wasn’t gonna cut it, verbose as I am, so I decided to be diligent about it: I took 1 month to plan this fic at the best of my abilities before I started typing like a maniac on my laptop.

at the end of the month I posted the first chapter and since then I woke up at 5am (almost) every single day to chip away at this project. long story short: it changed my life. not in a big way, it didn’t magically get me a super fancy job or a stable paycheck. none of that. but it made my life significantly better.

because you have to know that, before I decided waking up at 5am was a good idea, I was so used to be dreading the new day that it was messing with my brain. I didn’t want to go to sleep because “then another day would have started” without me enjoying myself even a little bit. but the difference between going to sleep at 3am (to wake at 7) and going to sleep at 11pm (to wake at 5) made me look forward to the new day time and time again. that way, if I manage to fall asleep on the right time every day, I get to start a new morning doing what I love most: writing.

this came at a cost, however, bc apparently waking super early is bad for my blood pressure (?? rude and biphobic of my body to do me so dirty, if you ask me >:/ like.. hello??) and I get (almost daily now) a sensible energy drop around lunchtime but it’s worth it in my book. this fic turned me into an optimist and I’ve always been a realist at best.

cons of this project: the fandom is tiny. so tiny infact that there are not many “work in progress” fics besides mine on ao3 ;—; I remember this being the case for Beyond Evil too, even if I was just a casual reader at the time, back when it first aired: we were starving for new content and I recall translating Korean fanfics into English just to have someto dig my teeth into xD

moreover, I tend not to read for the fandom I’m writing for, because I’m a sponge and (like my friend Amethystina said once) “I don’t want to accidentally steal someone else’s idea” just because I have shit memory (I’ll admit I caved at the beginning of 2024 bc I was in a bad place mentally and I read a couple of one-shots on Evilive, it’s ok, ik. I forgot the majority of them anyway, I just know they were lovely and their authors very smart indeed). so it’s a very lonely process! I churn up content, I don’t consume content, I wait for comments, I joyfully reply to comments and then, if I want more human interaction I have to (*checks*) come up with more content?? ahah. Ik it doesn’t work like that, and that I have to put effort in talking with other people in the fandom for it to become larger.. but this is why I do these tag games :D to engage with other lovely people in fun activities like these! good thing this fic keeps me going, bc I would be lost without it.

the general plot idea comes from a need I wanted to see fulfilled: I wanted to read a story about a group of women going apeshit crazy on the world. no repercussions, absolute power, no remorse. women from different levels of society, different ethnicities, different nationalities, different sexualities just.. being allowed to do whatever they wanted. I wanted to explore the pros and cons of such circumstances and yet I didn’t want it to be merely focused on that alone. I also wanted to point out how every person is capable of evil and that there still needs to be a moment in our life when we choose to be better instead.

one thing that made me side-eye Evilive specifically was.. well, the lack of women. there are 3 adult women in the whole drama taking some sort of role inside the story and all of them felt rich with the implication of a personality underneath, but no actual character to be seen. I love all 3 of them, from the “wife”, to the “mother”, to the “femme fatale” as they are, yet they still are flat compared to the other people in the show, even the more stereotypically evil or corrupt among them. I needed more, so more I made.

in addition to this, I really wanted to write from the point of view of a nasty, selfish man who has been corrupted by power long enough to have forgotten how to be human again. someone who believes they can fix it all by taking revenge on the person who turned them into a monster.. not realizing they had the potential to become a monster all along and never noticed.

Lamb Loose may be a “fix-it” of sorts based on the happenings (and the finale) of Evilive, but I also think it can be some sort of Atonement Arc rather than a Redemption Arc all in all: just because you become self-aware of the evil deeds you’ve put in motion and want to be better now.. doesn’t mean you can redeem yourself for the sorrow you caused. and, sometimes I also like characters who don’t change in their (evil/selfish) ways but somehow still learn to broaden their perspective after meeting new people. restoring one’s trust in humanity is hard, but maybe it can start by looking into our own selves and look for humanity within us first and foremost.

Han Dong Soo as a character seemed the best option for me, even if it is challenging to write from his POV at times. some of the things he thinks and does are truly horrendous to me personally, but it’s a necessary step towards understanding someone as bad as him in my opinion. not to justify his actions, but to learn how to recognize them in other people instead.

there’s also horny thoughts, not gonna lie, but those feel more like an extension of all that Han Dong Soo as a person has repressed along the years. so, in a way, the sexual tension is just another character in the script, unnamed and all-encompassing, but never at the center itself. since Han Dong Soo is also an unreliable narrator, I can play with him and make the reader question everything he is going through at the same time, which is fun to me :)

2) a treat for Fifi bc she was patient and read to this point eheh:

dear, ch16 may not be full of plot-relevant quests but there’s a lot of yearning involved 👀 and I know it’s tough to wait for something more juicy to happen 😥😔 but I’m finally seeing the end of the big draft (working on ch31 now, aiming to finish the whole thing at ch40 ending a ch37 was too optimistic of me apparently ahah) and I promise you it will be absolutely worth it.

sometimes I feel very dejected about this project, bc it’s taking forever and I absolutely want to finish it before the end of the year :(

but your constant support and care are one of the reasons I keep going 💪😤💘 your art is extraordinary in itself, but your enthusiasm for this fic truly has made me appreciate living in the moment and enjoy the process more and more. so thank you dear for always cheering me on and for indulging me with your lovely comments and messages :)

I’ll see you very soon :D (I’ll reply to your comments and DMs as soon as possible! but I wanted to give you a little something today)

- Niki out :*

[kithtaehyung]

HIIIII RYENNNNN!!!!!

I feel like I’m wiping cobwebs off my blog writing this message right now 😭😭

I wanted to come on here and check up on you, as well as wish you an extremely belated HAPPY 3TANNIVERSARY!!!!

I hope you’re doing well and your life hasn’t been too hectic and stressful lately!

Ever since I started working full time, I’ve felt like I haven’t had the chance to sit down and catch up on all the things I’ve missed, or even read silently for fun. It’s basically been work, eat, sleep, repeat. I’ve tried to like posts here and there, but I want you to know that I still see your notifications everyday, and have you in my thoughts all the time!!

I can’t believe 3tan is 3 years old… I remember coming across it when you had only just released Stay. It’s crazy just how much has happened since then, in real life and in their story. I gotta say, I’ve read MANYYY fanfics in my life, but I don’t think there’s a single one that has left an impact on me like 3tan. Maybe it’s because I found it at such an early time and have had the opportunity to follow along with you, but when I think about and try to remember stories I read that I truly loved, 3tan is one of the first that comes to mind!!

Speaking of it coming to mind, at work today (I work at a daycare), I had to peel 20 tangerines for the kiddos’ snack and the FIRST thing I thought of when I saw them was 3tan. I couldn’t stop smirking while trying to peel every single one of them in one piece, and my coworker kept looking at me like I was a weirdo. Like sorry, but you just wouldn’t get it!!! 😂🥹

Anyways, all that being said I am in HUGE need of a reread — which I seriously enjoy because I always seem to discover new things when I do — and I’m hoping to find more time in my evenings to be on here and update myself on all the things!!

(P.S. I saw your coloring books which are absolutely adorable and they’re definitely being added to my collection once I get paid on Friday. 🤪 I also saw little snippets of Minted and BOYYYY am I excited to eventually read it!! 👀)

- Abby 🫶🫶

ABBYYYYY HELLO MY LOVE HOW ARE YOU??

thank you for all the well wishes, it's been fun and a real blur of a year these past few months hahaha. def hectic around here, but honestly i'm excited for everything that's to come - if i do all of this right!

3tan is 3.. what a wild fact! i'm so damn happy you enjoy it and very grateful to have you with me on this journey for so long. it's been quite the ride, especially with all the fun we got ourselves into these past 3 years lmaooooo i can never look at yoongi in chairs the same way ever again!!

THE TANGERINE STORY IS SO CUTE!!! you really have to know to be in the know and your coworker was notttt in the know hahaha. 20 is so much but tbh.. i could scarf all of those down sdlkfjjskdl

have fun on the reread journey! take your time, savor all the parts, those details are fun as hell when y'all catch them. also! happy to get the coloring books out, too! those took a longgg time but it was all worth it! as far as minted.... hoooo boy. you have fun with that yoongi and reader, that's all i'm gonna say LOL

[sungbeam]

𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 — act I, scene ii

nonidol!hwang intak x f!reader

when summit poster boy hwang intak's car breaks down in the school parking lot, it sets off a chain of events that leads to you, someone he was perhaps always meant to find. the only problem is that the two of you are far from the ideal couple, and your peers are apt to keep that status quo.

▷ genre, chapter warnings. s2f2l, grief and mentions of death and terminal illness, classism and discrimination, forbidden romance au, minimal swearing, angst, humor

▷ word count. 2.3k

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a/n: there's quite a bit of texting in this one so i apologize 😭

SUMMER (RISING JUNIORS).

INTAK wasn't one to give up easily. A couple weeks after school had been dismissed for the much-anticipated summer break, he was still in town while the rest of his friends were off traveling the world with their families. His dad had left the house early, as per usual, to head to the company building for work, so he enjoyed the serenity of an empty house as he took his time rolling out of bed and making himself breakfast.

As he sat on one of the breakfast bar stools in the kitchen with a bowl of cereal before him, he pulled out his brother's phone and opened up one of the text threads. The last thing he had texted Yn was about properly working out a stain—he'd received a very (albeit amusing) passionate lecture from her about drinking or consuming anything in the car, because if he spilled anything on the seats, she would risk her own identity to come and beat him up.

He'd had a very good laugh at that.

jae's phone: bored

Not even a minute later, he received a reply.

yer a wizard yn!: why r u still using his phone?

jae's phone: well do u want someone to find your contact on *my* phone, miss secrecy?

yer a wizard yn!: fair enough

jae's phone: hey how old r u

yer a wizard yn!: wow it never occurred to u that i could just be some old pervert?

jae's phone: r u??

yer a wizard yn!: lucky for u, no

jae's phone: lucky for me? 👀

jae's phone: before u virtually threaten to hit me again

jae's phone: r u my brother's age then? u must be

yer a wizard yn!: nope

jae's phone: my age then? idk if u know my age actually

yer a wizard yn!: am i 5 years old? no

jae's phone: i will , hit u

yer a wizard yn!: LMAO

In spite of his texts, Intak laughed down at the counter and set aside the phone for a second so he could spoon some more of the sweet cereal milk into his mouth. He and this Yn person had been trading texts these past couple of weeks. All of the conversations had been brief and harmless at most; it was all just his attempts at holding a conversation while Yn deflected anything that would expose who she was. Except for this conversation and their first one, he had no inkling of her identity.

yer a wizard yn!: okay, fine yes, i'm ur age i think

yer a wizard yn!: at least that's what jae said

Intak leaned into the conversation. Do u go to the academy too?

yer a wizard yn!: my friends say that's confidential

jae's phone: ur friends knew my brother too??

yer a wizard yn!: mhm

jae's phone: okay well,,, wait tf they're READING THESE??

He could hear her laughing at him now, even if he didn't know what her laugh sounded like. Did Jaehyuk know all these people in secret? He felt like a right idiot now.

yer a wizard yn!: now they're not, i just shooed them away

yer a wizard yn!: i can't tell u explicitly, but if u figure it out on ur own per se,,,,

jae's phone: ahhhh i see

jae's phone: don't say anything if u go to the academy

jae's phone: LETS GOOOO !! 😩

yer a wizard yn!: u r so…

jae's phone: handsome, smart, funny, etc lots to choose from

yer a wizard yn!: *crickets*

jae's phone: rude 😔

jae's phone: doing anything for the summer?

yer a wizard yn!: nah just working and hanging out w friends. u?

jae's phone: ignoring my responsibilities lol

It wasn't exactly a lie. After Jaehyuk had passed away, his father had made it incredibly clear that Intak was now to step into his shoes. No more second child privileges. Plus, how could he find the energy to get away when that was all he did last summer to forget the pain of Jaehyuk leaving?

yer a wizard yn!: once when jae (well ig *you*) and his family went on vacation, he left the car w me. it was kind of weird having that thing just sitting in my garage

jae's phone: really? huh. what year was that

yer a wizard yn!: i think he said u guys were going to jeju or sumn

Ah, that must have been the last vacation Intak could remember enjoying with Jae.

jae's phone: oh yeah, i remember that holiday

jae's phone: he must've really trusted u then

yer a wizard yn!: yeah ig so… couldn’t even drive it then, so maybe that’s why lol

Minutes passed of silence in the text chain. Intak wanted to know what she was thinking on the other side of the phone, if she was even as sad as he was. He'd figured out that his brother and Yn had been really close, so she must have gone through some type of grieving process like he had? He didn't know anyone else as heartbroken as he was. His dad didn't really care, only that his number one heir was now six feet under. Intak was still bitter that his father didn't even stay after the funeral, but he supposed everyone grieved in different ways.

Intak picked up the phone again and began typing. My brother didn't trust a lot of people, he admitted. Idk why I feel the need to but thanks for being there for him.

yer a wizard yn!: wish i had been there for him better to be honest

Yeah, that one hurt. I get that. I blame myself too.

yer a wizard yn!: ur brother loved u a lot tho, intak. that's why he left u the car

yer a wizard yn!: it was something to remember him by

Intak swiped at the warm tears trailing down his face. He wished he didn't have the dumb car. He wished his brother was here instead.

yer a wizard yn!: i'm sorry if i made u upset, but just remember that he loved u so much

yer a wizard yn!: if u ever need someone to talk to who knew him as u did or close to how u did, then come find me

jae's phone: thanks yn

jae's phone: i wish he had trusted me enough to introduce me to u tbh

Somehow, she had figured out that he wasn't saying this as a joke like all the other times.

yer a wizard yn!: he did trust u. he was just trying to protect me

jae's phone: it worries me when u say that

yer a wizard yn!: it's okay just,,, forget i said anything

As if he could just forget that speaking to her could jeopardize her. He didn't even know how this could get her in trouble, if he was interpreting what she was saying correctly. If only Jae had left him a note explaining who Yn was, but he supposed it wasn't … safe to?

jae's phone: how did my brother even find u lol

Great segue, he shoveled a spoon of cereal into his mouth so he didn't have to look at his gross attempt at a subject change.

yer a wizard yn!: strangely enough, just like this

jae's phone: ??

yer a wizard yn!: he texted my number thinking it was this auto repair helpline he found online w his problems and i fixed his car haha

jae's phone: oh yo that's kinda cool tho

yer a wizard yn!: ur both really bad w cars

jae's phone: oUT OF POCKET 😭

jae's phone: wait so u go to the academy

yer a wizard yn!: bye intak

jae's phone: NOOOO WAIT COME BACCCK

It was late, that much he knew, but sleep would not bless his eyes and body and mind. Intak stared up at the dark ceiling of his bedroom with moonlight streaming through the curtains by his bedside. There were too many things in his head to even think about a peaceful night of sleep.

"You could just look her up in the yearbook," he said aloud into the darkness. "But that would be invading her privacy." And Yn had made it so very clear that she was against him finding out her identity. But she had pretty much confirmed that she went to the academy, that she was in his year, and that her name was actually Yn—

Wait. Okay, so maybe she hadn't confirmed the latter yet, but Intak assumed his brother didn't make contact names that didn't make sense.

He sighed. He wished Jaehyuk could have given him some sort of sign.

Intak reached for his phone sitting on the nightstand, but instead of going to YouTube or some other streaming service he opened up her text messages.

Just as he was about to type a greeting, she beat him to it.

yer a wizard yn!: can't sleep either?

jae's phone: yeah ig not

jae's phone: wbu?

yer a wizard yn!: yeah no same

jae's phone: i wanna ask u stuff, but i don't wanna make u uncomfortable. it's not abt u personally, it's just abt ur connection w my brother. idk really

yer a wizard yn!: this is closure for u, i get it

yer a wizard yn!: ask to ur heart's content

jae's phone: did u know… that he was sick?

There was a long pause, and Intak waited patiently while laying on his side.

yer a wizard yn!: i found out really late

yer a wizard yn!: i knew something was wrong, but he was good at hiding it

yer a wizard yn!: i didn't get to say goodbye to him tho

jae's phone: i'm sorry yn

yer a wizard yn!: don't be, it's okay

yer a wizard yn!: were ur friends close to him too?

jae's phone: they thought he was cool and they got along, but they weren't super close. ig i can say ur one of the very few people who prob grieved like i did

yer a wizard yn!: that's… god, that's really sad. everyone at school liked him tho

jae's phone: tch yeah, but yk our school's full of fake shitheads

yer a wizard yn!: yeah fs… i think ur wrong in one aspect tho

jae's phone: what's that?

yer a wizard yn!: *grieves not grieved, i think we're both still grieving

jae's phone: would u be uncomfortable if i sent a voice message?

As soon as he sent the text, he grimaced. Oh no, he was going to be faced with immediate rejection. Intak scrambled onto his stomach and elbows to get in a better position to text faster and beat the three moving dots at the bottom of the screen.

yer a wizard yn!: sure go ahead

jae's phone: WAITWAIT

He wanted to slap himself.

jae's phone: okay uhm gimme a second

jae's phone: didn't actually think u would agree

Good going, idiot. Now what?

Intak sat up against his headboard. He didn't know why he asked in the first place, but maybe he just wanted to voice his thoughts aloud for once. He licked his lips, gathered his thoughts—

"Hey—" he cleared his throat, coughing and wishing he didn't just voice crack. "Sorry, hi. I thought this was gonna be a lot less awkward, but here goes nothing." He paused, then continued on, "Do you ever… miss him? Just miss him a lot. Sometimes I watch movies and they're always like—sometimes I feel them sitting next to me or hear their laughter—and I don't. I don't feel him next to me, I don't hear his voice or his laugh, Yn. I wish I did though. I wish I could miss him like that. Do you think it would hurt less if I did?"

Intak hit the send button, then exited out of the app so he could look for the right kind of music to listen to. The room was just too quiet right now.

To his surprise, when she replied, it was not in the form of a text message, but in the form of her own voice message. He was about to hear her voice. That had to mean something right?

"Hey Intak." His heart thumped. Woah… "Yeah, I was unsure of replying in a voice message, but I thought it was fair. Don't worry; I've gaslit myself enough to feel comfortable," she laughed to herself. "That was a joke, by the way. Yeah, I laugh at my own jokes."

Intak snorted.

The sound of laughter faded slightly as she continued on though. "Yeah, I miss him a lot. I think… I think this past year, I've been trying to ignore the fact that I miss him, but I do. When I saw the convertible steaming that one day, I just couldn't stop myself from texting his number, I guess. Force of habit. I don't really feel those sensations either, but I don't think it would hurt any less if you did feel that way. I think any way you grieve is valid, really." Her voice went quiet at the end. "You're not alone, y'know?"

His cheeks were warm again and his breathing trembled. Intak hugged his knees to his chest, wondering why his head hurt when he was crying, but maybe it was because he had not cried fully in a long time. He sniffled, collecting himself to reply.

"Thanks Yn," he said, voice slightly hoarse from his crying. "You have a nice voice, by the way." Nice was an understatement. His heart was beating a little too fast at the moment.

She replied with, "Thanks Intak. You, too."

jae's phone: u said ur friends knew him too

jae's phone: were they close?

yer a wizard yn!: yeah, i'd say they had gotten to know him almost as well as i did. they hung out w us at the garage

jae's phone: like an auto repair shop?

yer a wizard yn!: yeah

jae's phone: this feels illegal to know

yer a wizard yn!: maybe u deserve a taste of the forbidden for once tho

And for some reason, that engraved itself in his head and right above his heart. He wouldn't know that from here on out, he would wear that phrase like a crown.

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