#you really shouldn't ignore the voices of those who think different from you. and no that 'different' isn't the people who hurt you

[lemonduckisnowawake]

You know something? Whenever a genuinely good piece of media takes a polytheistic or non-Christian religion as an allegory criticizing Christianity or just religion/the worship of god(s) in general, I feel such a strong urge to both nod in fascination because I see their point of recontextualizing and deconstruction but also to roll my eyes so hard because most of the time they're just going "religion bad. Here's nuance - actually never mind. Religion bad, period."

Like I'm far, far from a pantheist or polytheist but do people understand that those gods were simply forces of personified nature? Their whole thing was that they mimicked humanity and human relationships but, in the end, were basically nature. And the, well, nature of nature is that it's unfair, takes you unawares, sometimes can be benevolent, but is always unpredictable. It can be too cruel for a small mistake or you can be lucky and escape punishment in general. Myths and legends were all about their inhumanity, not their imperfect and wretched humanity (because they were gods, duh).

Like man, whenever I see a piece of media raging about religion like. I get it. But not only does it basically erase and invalidate the experiences of half or more than half of the world who are literally suffering from their religion, I can't help but notice some kind of weird trend. Like...do people now happily cast the gods as Evil and needing to be put down or eradicated because of how industrialization was basically man conquering nature? They demand those higher powers see things from their perspective and from an individually personal point of view (all the while ignoring that Christianity literally did that), blame gods for suffering and thus decry them but ignore the fact that even without gods, the same suffering would probably still happen. Always about "gods should be more human" but only in the good ways because people have already humanized the gods too much, just as vile ones, rather than the personification of nature they were meant to be.

[sparklingblu]

Eroverse

Pt.3 - Alpha & Omega

Yeji x Male Reader (ft. Kazuha)

Good news. None.   

Bad news. Where do you even start?   

The worst would be the fact that you can't feel your body. Your eyes seem to be the only functioning organ. To add insult to injury, your whole body is bare, and your clothes are nowhere to be found. You curse yourself for not grabbing your clothes before you get teleported back from that boxing ring. No use regretting it now. Even if you manage to move your limbs somehow, you are trapped in a bar restroom butt naked. Can this day get even worse?   

To be honest, you expect yourself to develop some kind of resistance to all those headaches and pain after passing out four times in a day. Seems like there's no improvement. You can just hope no one comes knocking at the door. That leads you to wonder, how long have you been gone? The first time you encounter Rei or what seems to be Rei, it takes almost an hour. But at least she obeys every command you give so it isn't much of a struggle. The second time, however, you have to wrestle with Eunbi first before you finally tame her, as the quest had said. You are certain more than an hour has flown by.    

Your phone chimes with a notification nearby. No doubt from the 'Ero' app. You desperately want to check it but there's not much you can do when your body feels like a lump of clay. So, you continue doing what you initially were, staring at the ceiling. Funny enough, seeing the ceiling has become a kind of relief after losing and gaining consciousness multiple times. At least, it reminds you that you are alive.  

Once again, you can't help but think of all the unanswered questions that have piled up even more after your encounter with Eunbi. The voice that consistently keeps praising you after you complete a quest, the idols that you have met who are not actually idols. You are pretty sure about that now. Are they replicas? clones? Then what does that make you? A test subject for some crazy experiment that involve fucking idol clones? As usual, no answer.  

If you look at it from the bright side, ignoring all the pain and confusion, you have used two idols for your release already. Getting to fuck one idol should be considered universally lucky. But two? You had to save a nation in your past life for that. Whether they are real or not, they still look exactly the same so it doesn't really make a difference. However, the downside shouldn't be ignored either. If you try to complete one more quest, fuck one more idol, you might not wake up again. With each jump, your body seems to weaken. It starts with headaches and soreness and now you are paralyzed. Not really a price worth paying. You are not perverted enough to trade your life for sex.  

Actually, you might have passed that point already. If you inevitably have to die, you want to go out with honor. Not as a naked corpse in a restroom. "Oh, how did he die?" "I don't know, probably from jerking off naked in the toilet" Yep. Not a good idea.   

A few minutes pass and you start considering screaming for help. You have to sacrifice every bit of dignity you have but at least you won't die. Thankfully, it doesn't happen. Blood starts to flow again in your fingers and soon, you are well aware of the cold floor on your skin.   

You sit up groggily, propping yourself against the toilet for support. Taking a few deep breaths, you picked up the phone. The screen is full of cracks, it covers almost every part of the notification on your lock screen but without a doubt, it's from the 'Ero' app.   

"Congrats on completing your second quest. Please wait patiently for the next one"  

Typical. Just congratulations. Not to mention you nearly got killed. Thank you very much.   

Then your eyes move to the upper corner of the screen displaying the time, 8:48. You can't be sure, but you are certain no more than a few minutes have passed since you passed out. How is it possible? Even without the time you spent laying paralyzed, it takes at least an hour to do everything you have done with Eunbi. No wonder no one comes looking for you.   

Maybe time flows differently in whatever places you get teleported to. Another mystery. Your head starts throbbing, a sign of an oncoming headache. God, can that app let you off for once? There's a silver lining though. Your clothes lie in a pile in a corner. You have to shut your mouth before you start screaming with joy.   

After changing hastily and washing your face, you exit the room. Russell and the rest of the crew are still at their table, their voices getting louder by the second. The effects of all the drinks they had had are evident on their red puffy faces. They don't even seem to notice your absence except Russell, who raises his hand at the sight of you.  

"Man, you have been gone pretty long, you ok?" he asks.  

"Yeah, I'm fine.."  

"You sure? You look like you just woke up"  

He's not wrong but no use making him worried.  

"Trust me. I'm ok. Just a bit tired, i guess"  

"Have you been working late again?"  

Gosh, this guy cares about you more than your mom. You take this as your chance to get out of here.  

"Yeah, got some articles to finish. I have been procrastinating on this one I have to send tomorrow. Mind if I leave early? I need to sleep early"  

"Of course. Don't work too hard, huh? You still have to write a best-seller remember?"  

You simply smile and leave, grabbing your coat. The cold breeze offers you some comfort to the headache that's becoming unbearable. You just want to lay down on the spot and fall asleep. You walk back to your room, trying not to pass out on the way. The night is still young, and the sound of traffic and the chatter of people follows you everywhere. Ordinary people enjoying their lives unlike you, who have become a different person in just a day. You were a writer, not a good one but still an average Joe. Now, you fuck idols with the help of an app. Anyone who hear it will suggest you talk to a therapist, and you won't blame them.   

And what is it that makes the app choose you? You have no special abilities other than the fact that you can mimic animal sounds and that's not even a real talent. Perhaps luck has finally found its way to your ever unfortunate life. But can it be called luck with how you become a step closer to death with each quest you take on. 

You are so busy debating with yourself you are completely oblivious to your surroundings. If only you have turned your head to an alley across the street, you would have seen a dark figure with sparkling eyes that follow every one of your movements. A predator lurking in the shadows. 

♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎  

A week has passed. The 'Ero' app is silent as ever. 

You find yourself expecting a message for another quest despite promising yourself you won't let your perversion lead you to your demise. You should really start thinking with your brain rather than your dick. 

Three days after your last quest, you even try to enter the 'Ero' app out of curiosity. The app closes automatically. After a few more tries, you give up out of disappointment and shame. Shame for trying to enter the app even after knowing the risks. Shame for being a hopeless pervert. 

You should just stick to jerking off to fancams and pictures, at least that way you won't be playing with your life or getting beat up by an idol. That's what you have been doing since you got smitten by those kpop girls but after the quests you have done, it becomes tedious. You will still pump a load or two after seeing Karina's tits or Sohee's ass but it's nothing compared to Rei's blowjob or Eunbi's titjob. You have become addicted.  

Ironically, you even find yourself dreaming of the darkness, the mahogany room and the boxing ring. This is what Eve might have felt when she's told not to eat the forbidden fruit, you think. Because forbidden things are the most tempting.  

You still write but no longer out of pleasure, just to survive. And that reminds you, you should stop eating take outs and cook something yourself for once. Your room was a mess but now it's a whole trash pile. Plastic boxes and cups from all the take outs you order lie in a mountain at the sink. The trash car comes, you are just too lazy to throw it out. And if you don't do something about that stack of papers on the table, it's gonna touch the ceiling soon.  

In short, you have become a mess. Every time your phone chimes, you would check it in a heartbeat, expecting a text from the 'Ero' app. But of course, it isn't. The app has gone ghost quiet. You are desperately seeking to complete just one more quest. One more idol to fuck. 

You rarely go outside and ignore all the messages your friends and colleagues sent you. There's only one message you want to receive which never comes. 

After a week of living like a vampire, a realization hits you. One so obvious you feel like an idiot not thinking about it sooner. All the problems you are facing are rooted from one single thing, the 'Ero' app. If you delete it, your suffering might end. You can even pretend everything that happened was a dream. 

So, you get out of the bed which you have been laying on for hours and grab your phone on the table. The sudden burst of light in the dark room as the screen opens leaves you seeing black spots. It is nighttime but you haven't opened your curtains in a while, so it doesn't really make a difference.  

You swipe till you land on the 'Ero' app. That little black heart icon. You press on it and the uninstall option pops off. 'Finally' you think. 'It's gonna be over. No more crazy stuffs' though a small voice somewhere in your mind keep insisting. 'But what of the pleasure that rivals no other? What of the idols you will meet?' 'Fuck this' you answer. It's true you are a pervert, but you are not hopeless. You won't die so that you can fuck some clone of an idol.  

Determined, you raise your thumb and nearly press on the uninstall button until-  

Your phone chimes. A notification on the top of the screen.  

"New quest ready, ready for your next adventure chosen one?" 

God damn it. Just when you are determined, this app has to come and ruin it. All the walls you have put up about not being a hopeless pervert crumbles in milliseconds. You want this after all. You don't want the app gone. You are just mas that it won't give you a quest. Now what you have been begging for a week is right in front of your eyes. You have to make a choice. Yes or No? 

This quest can be your last. A punishment for letting your dick makes your decisions. You can ignore it. Delete the app and go on with your life as normal. But will your life ever be normal after deleting the app? Who can say you won't be wondering what the third quest would be and which idol you would meet? And worst of all, you will become ordinary again without the app. No more magic portals to creepy rooms.  

You don't want to be ordinary. You have tried your best to become something others aren't all your life. Now, the chance has been presented to you. Your own personal paradise. All yours. No one else's.  

So, you tap on the message, opening the app to the loading screen with the black heart. Even the sight of it gets excitement creeping up your legs already. Then you close your eyes immediately before they get torched by that blinding flash. After waiting for a minute just to be safe, you open your eyes again. A text box sits in the center of the screen, instructions to your next quest. Except that you can't read them. 

The words are fuzzy and blurred. Some even completely redacted by black lines. It is as though someone has made them unreadable on purpose. What the hell is going on? 

This can be another challenge, a harder quest. Even more difficult than trying to defeat an idol who nearly crashes you to pulp. A higher risk of death. A tinge of regret starts to overwhelm you but it's too late. 

The all-familiar darkness envelopes you once again. Then comes the icy cold spike that tears through your organs. Your vision fades and you crumple like paper. 

♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎  

Your old friend accompanies your wake. Of course, it's the headache. Fortunately, it isn't as strong as before or maybe you have just been out of touch you forget the pain. Nevertheless, you are alive.  

You don't get to celebrate much though because the sight that greets you when you open your eyes sucks the joy right out of your heart. It isn't the ceiling this time. At least seeing the ceiling would have been a comfort. What you see is anything but comforting. 

To start, you are not in a room like you were the last two quests. You are surrounded by marble columns that support the circular dome on top. A temple like those in Greek times. A huge part of the building has crumbled, giving you a clear view of what lies ahead.  

Your heart leaps. Before your eyes lies what you can only describe as an apocalyptic city. Actually, an apocalyptic Greek city. Smoke billows from several temples writhed in flames. Most of the bronze and marble statues lining the sandy paths are missing a body part, some have been completely destroyed. A colosseum crumbles to dust right in front of your eyes though you have no idea what a Roman structure is doing in a Greek city. It would have been a beautiful place if it's not for the fact that it looks like a war zone.  

The temple you are in is not holding out really well either. From time to time, debris would fall from the ceiling, and you can only hope the roof won't collapse on top of you. You try to move and that's when you realize you have been tied up. Looking down, you find yourself bound to a chair with metal chains, your hands at the back. Your legs are no exception either. They have been tied up as well. 

This quest is starting to look hopeless already. It would be so easy for someone to gut you right now and you can do nothing but watch. You could call out for help except that there isn't a living being in sight. Even if someone does come, you can't be certain if they are friends or foes. 

You remember the surge of strength that has come to you when you were at the brink of death. It would be really really helpful if you could get that kind of help right now. Though you doubt that kind of chance will be given twice. 

"Oh, he can't help you this time" As if reading your thoughts, a voice rings out behind a column.  

The owner of the voice emerges. A figure with fiery red hair wearing a top of matching color. The black jeans accentuate her slender legs. Her ruby red eyes fixed on you with a steely gaze. Yeji, the leader of Itzy. 

"Ehm....Yeji?" Obviously, the idol before you is not the real Yeji. But you ask anyway. 

"In a sense" She replies. "But that won't matter anymore after I kill you" 

Just wonderful. Another idol who wants you dead.  

"I gotta praise you though. You are pretty strong compared to those before you" 

"Others? What are you talking about?" 

"Oh, do you think you are the only one chosen by the app, chosen one?" She strains the last part just to sound sarcastic.  

"Look, I don't even understand what's happening much less answer your questions. I don't even know why you want to kill me" 

"Oh, you very much do" She snaps back. "Rei? Eunbi? The things you did to them. You are lucky I let you live this long" 

"I was just doing what the app told me to" 

"Oh, yes. That stupid 'Ero' app. You love it so much you walked right into my trap" 

The realization hits you like a bucket of cold water. The quest that arrives right when the app is nearly deleted. The distorted letters.  

"It's you" You say. "You are the one who set up this quest" 

"Correct" Her voice is dripping with glee. "Aren't I clever?" 

"Ok, Yeji....or whatever. If you let me go, I promise I won't-" 

"Oh, shut up. You will follow where your dick leads you" 

She's not wrong. Still, it sort of hurts. 

"There's nothing you will get out of killing me" You try the other route. 

"Oh, there's a lot I can get out of killing you" Yeji muses, walking closer. "And I will start by destroying the thing that have been distracting my kind" 

You don't know what she means but you don't need to wonder for long because with the flick of her wrist, your shorts come off. Look, you know some guys are really into the bondage stuff when the girl ties you up and all, but it isn't much fun when your partner is trying to kill you. But there's a bigger threat than getting killed right now. 

"Wait, you don't mean my-"  

"Dick? Yes. If it's gone, you can no longer bother us, right?" 

"You can't do that! It's illegal" 

"Look around you. You are no longer on earth" 

You are making empty threats, and you know it too well. But you don't want your bloodline to end with you. 

"Look, maybe we can make a deal or something" 

"Too late" Yeji unfolds her palm and a gladius, a roman sword, manifests out of thin air. She's definitely not human. 

You tilt your head in panic as the point hovers over your throat.  

"I should have just killed you but where's the fun in that?" 

Your breath hitches. You don't trust yourself to talk without blabbering out more pleas that will make Yeji even madder. And even worse, your dick is rock hard because of the adrenaline.  

"Bye bye" She raises the sword and brings it down on your springing mamba. You close your eyes. bracing yourself for the pain. But it never comes because a voice cuts through the tense atmosphere.  

"Wait!" Another female voice and running footsteps. You open your eyes. 

Behind Yeji is Kazuha, the japanese member of Le Sserafim. Her pink satin dresses look out of place among the ruins of the city, like a runaway bride.  

"Kazuha?" Yeji lowers the gladius. "Oh, let me guess. He sent you" 

"You need to stop this. Killing him won't stop our problems" 

"You don't know that for sure. One less candidate means less chance for the mark to emerge" 

"What mark?" instantly, you regret not keeping your mouth shut. They want to cut your dick off for christ's sake. 

"The mark of-" Kazuha starts to answer but Yeji cuts her off.  

"Shut up" Yeji snaps. "He's going to die anyway" 

"Stop this, Yeji. He's going to be so mad if he finds out" 

"So what? He has been a dick all those times. You still take orders from him?" 

"He can be crazy sometimes but it's our job to serve him" 

"Bullshit. You are just too scared to disobey" 

"Yeji, please" 

Kazuha's words have no effect. Yeji closes in on you again and raises her gladius. This time there's no escape for you.  

Then the strangest thing happens. A burst of energy erupts from your core, spreading to every cell in your body. All the fatigue and panic are gone. It's like being dipped in water when you are high. You feel pumped, ready to do anything. More specifically, ready to fuck anyone because the lust inside you has never been so strong. 

"It can't be..." Yeji backs away, dropping her gladius. Her face that of pure horror. 

You look down and nearly scream yourself. On your pelvis is an upside-down pentagram, like those used in cult rituals and its glowing red hot though you don't feel any pain. Further down is an even stranger sight. Your dick is literally glowing. Upon taking a closer look, you realize it’s surrounded by a golden aura like it's something powerful. All the chains binding you shatter to pieces, and you rise.  

"The mark" Kazuha mutters dreamily. "It's real" 

"No!" Yeji screams, falling down. "It's a myth. How could it be-" She picks up her gladius and instantly charges. You back away but there isn't a need. Because Yeji got thrown away as though hit by an invisible force. 

She crouches on the floor, panting. "This is madness" 

Kazuha just stands there frozen. Hey eyes fixed on your glowing cock. 

But you only have a single objective in your mind. Ruin Yeji. Use her. Punish her. She is nothing but an easy prey.  

"Stay away" Yeji shouts. In the end, the hunter has become the hunted. 

You close in, grabbing her wrists and pulling her up. Then you slam her onto a column. You don't intend to hurt her though. She's in for something much worse.  

"I will kill you" She mutters but the panic is clear as day in the way her words stutter. Grabbing her waist, you trace your lips across the pulsing veins of her neck all the way to her jaw. Then a bite on her earlobe. Yeji squirms. 

"Still want to kill me?" The question is left unanswered as Yeji's lips part to give way to your tongue, which invades into her oral opening. Yeji's pupils widen when her own tongue got tickled by the foreign one. Her screams come out muffled. Yeji tries to pull away but the grip of your lips on hers is stronger than ever.  

All the while, your hands make their way down to her waist belt, enjoying the feeling of her firm skin. Sliding down further, you slip into her jeans, squeezing that tone ass of hers.  

The writhing of her body is cut short when you slid a finger into her tight asshole, which makes her limp like a rug doll. At first, it's hard to move much with how hard her hole grips you but after a few pumps, it starts to oblige, allowing swifter movements.  

As you finger her asshole, you don't stop the mouth action either. You can no longer tell whose mouth is moister as your saliva got mixed from how long you have been tasting her. All that matters is you keep her mouth shut. The strands of red hair fall over, obscuring your vision partly but you press on, taking in her taste each and every second. Your dick is pressed flat against her tummy in this position and it's getting you even more riled up. You can take care of it later. 

With your unoccupied hand, you squeeze her soft cheeks, which fold like rubber under your touch. The pace of your finger that keeps fucking her asshole remains unwavering. In fact, its pounding her now the same way your cock would. At the same time, you are tongue fucking her. Both of her holes are stuffed and there's nothing she can do about it except produces more degraded sounds. 

Yeji's legs start to shake, inevitably nearing her peak whether she likes it or not. Saliva drips from the corner of her lips and a strand of the remnants connect your lips as your tongue exits her mouth. You are not letting her off. You just want to hear her moan. 

"I...will kill you..." Her voice comes out husky, so it sounds more like an empty promise than a threat. 

"Just shut up and cum bitch" Your thrusts become forceful. Perhaps you are hurting her but Yeji's moaning too much to care. Unable to resist the sight of her skin, you bite down on her neck, pitching up her voice.  

Finally, Yeji breaks. In a frenzy of pain and bliss, she lets out a carnal groan which rings out through the temple. Juice gush out from her pussy when your finger thrust in one last time. Each time her body convulses, she lets out a moan, each one louder than the last. She is still trembling nonstop even after you pull out, her jeans stained with her own bodily fluid. 

"Did you just come from getting your asshole fingered?" You ask. Yeji can only pant as she props against a column not to tremble from her legs that are on the verge of giving out. 

From the corner of your eyes, you can see Kazuha, her arms folded, watching the whole thing without a single word. She seems to be on your side for now. 

"Tired already?" You ask Yeji. "It's just starting" 

The mark on your pelvis glows brighter, the red rays casting a translucent glow on Yeji. With an iron grip on her shoulders, you turn her around, allowing you the view of her round ass in tight jeans. The stain on her crotch area makes the scene even more lewd. 

"Admit it, Yeji. All this time you have been a slut. My cock is all it takes to wipe that bitchy look off your face" Your cock presses against her clothed ass. 

"I swear I will kill-" 

You pull down her jeans just enough to expose her round butt, stealing the air right out of her lungs. Your palm connects with her supple flesh in a harsh spank, leaving a handprint in red. You deliver a strike for each word that leaves her mouth. It goes like this. 

"I-" 

Spank 

"will-" 

Spank 

"kill-" 

Spank 

"you-" 

The white canvas of her skin is now streaked with scarlet stripes. And you intend to keep it that way because the way her ass jiggle with each spank is too hypnotic to get tired of. The cherry on the top is how she keeps protesting even through the stinging pain. But you are gonna change it real soon. 

With one last strike, you pull back, admiring your handiwork on her ass, which is now the same fiery shade as her hair and tops. Yeji mutters another curse through shallow breath. This bitch is still as cocky as ever. 

Pulling her hair to tilt her head, you whisper into her ear. "Still resisitng, hmm? Should we move on to your next punishment?" Yeji's eyes blaze with fury. "Bastard"  

"So, we are doing it the rough way" You hold her throat in a tight grip with your other hand, restricting any more words from coming out of her vocal cords.  

You rest your rock hard cock between her cheeks, the glow it radiates merging with her reddened buttocks. "I'm gonna fuck your brains out now. And then I wanna know if you still want me dead"  

Yeji can do nothing as you enter her moist slit with one forceful thrust that ripples her cheeks. You don't know if she's a virgin or not but the way her walls hug you tight is giving you ideas. Nevertheless, you push on, breaking through the barriers of her fold with each thrust. It doesn't take much time for you to pound her freely with how wet she already is from earlier. 

Soon, you are hammering her cunt without a care in the world, solely focused on using her as your vessel for pleasure. You will take anything her body can offer and that will be her punishment, to become nothing but your cumdump. Resentment and triumph take over your movements and each thrust leaves her even more breathless despite being choked. 

You loosen your grip on her neck just enough for her to make audible sounds. "Still hate me?" You ask as you pull back all the way and thrust into her slit with all your force. She tenses, her back arched. She answers your question with animalistic sounds only a whore would make. 

"Hmm, you still got a lot to learn" You slip your hands under her top, reaching for her mounds. Yeji's tits aren't qualified to be called huge, but they are still big enough to fill your palm as you knead them. When you twirl her rosy nipples between your index and thumb, she mewls like an animal in heat which is only natural with the way she's getting bred. 

You slow down your thrusts, moving in and out slowly to enjoy the full feeling of her slick velvety walls that trace every inch you fill her up with. Somewhere far away, another building collapsed with a sickening crunching sound. A wave of hot air grazes your skin. But they can do nothing to disturb you from claiming Yeji's cunt thoroughly.  

Her walls start to contrast around you, the sign of an oncoming climax. You thrust with inhuman speed, empowered by the mark, as Yeji had called it. Jolts of energy course through your veins at every moment and you are surprised to find that you are not even sweating, much less tired. You can breed Yeji all day if she isn't already worn out and used up. 

Yeji's eyes roll up, her tongue hanging out in the perfect replication of the ahaego faces you see so often in certain animes. Another flood of her nectar pours out, coating your shaft. You keep fucking through her orgasm, chasing your own high. Yeji's body twists and bends but you keep her in position by wrapping your arms around her waist.  

The friction over her slick walls becomes unbearable and soon you are pumping jets after jets of your fertile seeds into her womb, all the way to the hilt. If Yeji sounds animalistic before, now she's no different from an animal. Guttural sounds betray her lips as she gets filled up to the depths she never knows existed before. When your orgasm subsides, she becomes motionless, her hoarse breaths the only sign of life. 

You pull out and cum drips out of her hole which is clenching onto air as if it needs something stuffed inside. Her punishment is a success. Yeji's got destroyed by the very thing that she wanted to destroy. As you stand there, grinning with victory, the adrenaline starts to drain out of your body. Your legs become sore, and the fucking headache is starting again. The mark on your pelvis dims and fades along with the glow of your spent rod.  

"We need to leave" You are so caught up in the joy of dominating Yeji, you forget Kazuha exists. She's still at her old spot, watching you with interest and a slither of worry. You quickly pull up your shorts though there's no point being shy now. She has seen everything. 

"Leave where?" You ask. "My quest is completed right? I will just pass out and go back" 

"It's not happening this time. He wants to meet you" 

"He?" 

"Look, we don't have much time. He will explain everything to you. I promise" 

"But-" 

The temple rumbles. More debris and dust fall from above.  

"Alright. Good idea" You and Kazuha make it outside just in time before the whole temple collapses. The sound of explosions and crumbling buildings ring out all around you. The air burns your lungs with each breath. 

"Ok, hold my hand" Kazuha says and you oblige. There's no point arguing when you are in the middle of an apocalypse. As Kazuha closes her eyes, a gleaming orb surrounds both of you and you spiral down into a tunnel of light. 

♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

(Have been procrastinating on this. Anyway, enjoy~)

[okchijt]

hii! could u separate headcanons of Yandere! Alastor and Vox x Male Overlord! Reader who never smiles (very rarely) , isn't very chatty and doesn't really like dance and sing?

Author's Note: Thank you so much Anon for the request! Decided to write this as soon as it came cause I finished the show a few weeks ago and still have the brainrot. The request asks for a male reader and the title also says it, but you can easily read it as gender-neutral as well since I don't think that what I write is that gender-specific to the request to matter aside from like two gender-specific words I use but you can easily ignore them if you want. And lastly, go ahead and check out my masterlist if you like what you just read and if you want to request anything yourself, thank you, and enjoy!🩷

Yandere Alastor x Male Overlord Reader Headcanons

📻 Smilling is Alastor's whole thing, and even though he doesn't care if others smile or not, but as his Darling, he seems to care quite a lot! He's not that vocal about it though, only making a slight comment here and there: "You're never fully dressed without a smile!" or "A smile makes all the difference!" All to try and make you smile more. I imagine he says the same speech he did to Charlie, that a smile can be anything you want it to be and the effect it has on others.

📻 When all else fails he'd use his wits and puns to get a smile out of you, and when you finally do smile on occasion Alastor is over the moon. It's a huge success in his book, he'd immediately praise how lovely that smile looks on your face and he'd pat your head or back approvingly as well.

📻 Since you're on Overlord yourself Alastor feels nothing but respect for you. If you were a simple sinner he'd feel superior despite you being his Darling. But in this case, you're on the same level if not stronger than him so that just gives him more of a reason to make you smile, anything to get your approval, it's the only one he needs or cares for anyway. In this case, you letting him stay by your side only fuels his ego because it's a pleasure only he gets to have and no one else. You're his and he has no intentions of sharing you with anyone, he's fiercely protective and possessive over you and that includes your smile. Only he gets to see and experience your purest form, sinners would rather make a deal than die by his hand just because they saw something they shouldn't.

📻 Alastor is more than fine with having a non-chatty Darling, he doesn't speak unless he has to so he can relate to you. That said, he's only okay with it when you're quiet to everyone else but him. After all, he's only this close to you so shouldn't he earn the pleasure of hearing your voice? He'd push you for a conversation sometimes, asking you questions or just string up a conversation to the point where you're forced to respond. The longer you keep quiet the more irritated and persistent he'll become, so it's better to start sooner or later if you don't want to see Alastor slowly lose himself.

📻 Although there's no official answer to whether Alastor likes to sing or dance, I have my personal thoughts on that so I'll use them here. I think Alastor likes dancing, with a specific person that is, that being you. You won't catch him on the dancefloor with anyone but you. Though because you ain't that much of a dancer, and unlike the smile thing Alastor doesn't really mind. He is forceful with everyone else as we saw in the show, but as his Darling and fellow Overlord, he has too much respect for you to push you to do something against your will. Though if you would ever agree to dance with him, he'd be really respectful and make sure you enjoy yourself so that he'll have a chance at another dance next time. Also, you always only dance to jazz or swing music, that's one thing Alastor will always put his foot down on.

📻 Singing is the second thing Alastor would take the most seriously after smiling when it comes to his Darling. Singing is one of those things that lets you express yourself, you can show any emotion by it. Even though Alastor had like four songs in the show, I feel like he only sings when he has to, always to make himself look good or to be on the winning side. So I feel like Alastor would be a little disappointed if you chose to solve problems like a normal person instead of having a rap battle with someone. Though I feel like that's a subject he won't push on about too much despite his feelings, he'll only allude to it from time to time.

📻 Overall, the only issue Alastor would have with a Darling like that is him not smiling, but that's about it. It's the only thing he'd be aggressively vocal about and sometimes the singing one. Otherwise, he tolerates everything else about you. All Alastor needs is to have you all to himself and if it means he's the only one to witness you do any of those stuff in private, how can he complain? He much rather prefers that scenario anyway, you're his after all.

Yandere Vox x Male Overlord Reader Headcanons

📺 Unlike Alastor, Vox doesn't put that much importance on smiling like his rival, but he still views it as useful. He's a public-based Overlord, so a smile is always important to have when trying to sell his brand. You can be a part of the Vee's or not, you're still an Overlord that is either on his level or stronger, so Vox is bewildered how you don't even try to smile when talking to those below you to win them over.

📺 He'd try to explain to you how much more influence and power you could have with a smile alone: "Smile, and they'll know who's in charge here!'' or ''It's the best way to win the public's adoration!'' He just wants you to present yourself the same way he does. He'd be really disappointed if you continued to refuse his idea, but once you smiled at something he said in private, it made him stop and think. It made him realize that something so alluring should be for his eyes only, he should be the only one to enjoy such a sight and no one else. He'd always whisper sweet nothing into your ear whenever he catches you smiling, hoping it'll encourage you to smile more. It fuels him and he'd do anything to get you to smile like that again for him.

📺 As a fellow Overlord, he respects you a ton, especially if you're a part of the Vee's with him. Because you're so different from the typical Overlord he surrounds himself with, he's much more wary of how he approaches you in fear of setting you off. He wants you to adore him the same way he does you and he'll try to achieve that by treating you like the King you are. Anything you say goes and even when he tries to push some issues forward, as his Darling you're the only one that can shut him down.

📺 Though Vox would prefer if you were a bit more chatty for the sake of the brand and all that, he won't really say anything to you about it. Your presence is enough to either win other sinners over or scare all the threats away. Kinda like Alastor, in private Vox will be very chatty with you, you're his Darling so he only feels safe enough with you to spill all of his thoughts out. But unlike his rival, Vox won't push or force you to respond, he's more than okay with you just being silent as he talks, it's therapeutic in a way. Though he'd always encourage you to talk some more if you do eventually say something, your voice just makes him so happy. He'll stop whatever he was doing just to focus all of his attention on you as you talk, but if you stop that's okay, he's already satisfied to hear his Darling talk even if just a little.

📺 Vox ain't that much of a dancer, he's pretty stiff actually, so he's both glad and bothered by the fact that you aren't. Good for him cause you don't pressure or force him to do something he knows he's bad at and embarrass himself in front of you, unlike a certain moth. But at the same time, he'd want to see you dance, he wouldn't care how good you would be at it, you're his Darling so he'd still think you're brilliant regardless! He won't ever push you to do it though, taking how he feels about it he won't force you into something he knows he wouldn't like doing himself.

📺 Singing is what Vox makes up for not being able to dance, he's a good singer and he knows it, though you're the only one who he'd sing to willingly. He'll sing to you in private all the time, wanting to charm you and make you weak for him just like how weak he is for you. But it's the same thing as with dancing, he would love to hear you sing for him, about anything really, but again, he won't force you to do it. Sometimes he'd sing a song that requires a duet to see if you'll budge. Unfortunately for him, you don't, but he won't say anything, he adores you regardless.

📺 Seems like Vox shares a similar issue with his rival, his one problem is you not wanting to smile more. Outside of that he sometimes gently tries to persuade you into singing or smiling for him, but won't push the issue onward if he faces rejection for his request. Vox is more than satisfied knowing you'd sometimes budge in private for him, that's all he really needs and craves really. Him being the only one to witness his Darling doing any of those things makes his ego only grow, because it's his privilege alone and no one else's. And it'll stay that way no matter what.

[ponderingmoonlight]

Telling Sukuna you're pregnant after not seeing him for 500 years

Pairing: Sukuna x fem!reader

Word Count: 1,4k

Synopsis: For more than 1.500 years, you found yourself in a love and hate relationship with none other than Ryomen Sukuna. But when he began to ignore you for more than 500 years, you decide to bind him to you forever - with the help of a pregnancy that shouldn't be possible...

Warnings: (y/n) is a real femme fatale aka bad bitch in this, mentions of smut, language language language, mentions of abuse towards Sukuna, mentions of pregnancy

Click here for Part ll

Your heels click against the floor casually as you swing your hips from side to side, a satisfied grin plastered on your face.

Finally. The sensation of his presence almost swallowed you whole just like it always did. Oh, how long you’ve waited for this damn moment, how you longed for him to finally appear again. Good for you that that brat decided to swallow your former lover back then.

Well, lover might be the wrong word to describe your relationship. Do you like Ryomen Sukuna? No, absolutely not. Just the thought of being around him sends your eyes into your skull immediately. Do you hate him?

“Can you shut up already? I’m…ah!”

“Stop talking, asshole”, you moaned against his parted lips, the sensation of him mercilessly thrusting into you almost swallowing you whole.

“You’re the worst woman I’ve ever met”, he hissed through gritted teeth, picking up his pace just the way you like it.

“I hate you”, you cried on top of your lungs while digging your nails into his shoulders to pull him even closer, to feel him even better.

You snort. Well, let’s just stay your relationship is rather complicated. But good for you, you took matters into your own hands.

“What do you think you’re doing there, huh?”, you casually question, bored eyes resting on that curse that kneels in front of the pink-haired boy.

“And who are you?��

Oh, it seems like this thing is a brave one. By the look of it and how he carries himself, he might be a special grade curse, he could be quite strong. But definitely not strong enough to even talk to you. You shake your head in amusement, fingers playing with a strand of hair.

“None of your business. I’m here to talk to Sukuna about something important, so get out the way before I drown you.”

“Get in line then. I am the one who will bring him back to life. He needs to assist us.”

“You must feel so brave and strong, huh? But still, you’re too dumb to realize who’s standing in front of you. Let me say it one last time, just because I’m in a good mood today: Get.out.my.way.”

You caress your belly mindlessly. Oh, you really do have some excited news. His face will be priceless when he hears your words. It’s his fault, after all. Who does he think he is to silently disappear for more than 500 years, leaving you alone without even saying goodbye? Looks like Sukuna is sick of you. Well, you’ll definitely bind him to you for the rest of your damned life. Maybe you should film it. What are those things called? Smartphones? Damn, you’re definitely too old for that dumb shit of those stupid humans.

“I’d get out of her way if I was you, curse. Or even better, go back where you came from and spare me with your bullshit, (y/n).”

That dark and unpromising voice, that annoyed undertone. Your eyes widen in nothing but excitement as well as your grin, unnecessary heart almost beating out of your chest. Finally, after all those years.

He’s back.

Ryomen Sukuna is finally back.

“I’m not going anywhere. There’s something very important we have to talk about”, you reply.

Hungrily, you take in his sight. He really does look different in that boy’s body. No wonder, after all he’s still a minor. You scrunch your nose, just the thought of getting close to this shell of a man…

Gross.

“Why are you looking at me like that, huh? Don’t you have somewhere to be, (y/n)?”

He can’t deny it, how desperately he has to supress a sly grin by just one look at you. How do you manage to always look this hot, to make his mind wander? Sukuna hates you with every fiber of his being, how you seem to always be two steps ahead of him. Him, the king of curses. Him, the one who should be in control. Him, who is technically stronger, older and more experienced than you. But oh, you do it so well while wearing that black dress and your pair of heels, the mischievous look on your face simply taking his breath away.

“Don’t worry about me pretty boy, I’m exactly where I should be”, you purr.

Elegantly, you bend down towards him, almost revealing your panties in the process. Your hand glides over his firm chest and wraps around his neck, putting pressure on his windpipe ever so gently.

“Would y’all mind to just leave? We need a little more privacy.”

Nobody dares to move, your sheer presence stopping both girls and Jogo in their tracks. You might not be as powerful as Sukuna, but the way you act alone is enough to tell them you are no one to be messed with.

And the stinging fact that the king of curses literally allows you to choke him.

“W-we…We need to talk to Sukuna”, a female voice behind you speaks out.

Urgh, is a simple no not enough? You roll your eyes in sheer annoyance, making Sukuna almost shiver in excitement of what comes next.

“Listen, I tried to be nice, but you brats are testing me. I don’t have time for stupid shit like that, okay?”

One snap. One little innocent movement of your finger is enough to slice both of their heads off in the split of a second, sparing the curse standing behind you only by inches.

“If you don’t want to die right here and now, leave before I’m completely losing it, curse.”

“What’s wrong, (y/n)? Did something upset you?”

Your attention goes back to the force of a man in front of you, who lifts himself off the ground effortlessly.

“Well, I was pretty mad when I found out that you found a vessel and didn’t care enough to let me know. After all, I haven’t seen you in…how many years? 500, maybe?”

“Maybe you should leave, then. Because I didn’t miss you a single bit”, Sukuna suggests innocently.

Your bodies are so close to each other that he can’t ignore the heat radiating from your frame anymore. Why do you have to look so enticing in your short black dress? And what is that look on your face?

“Ouch, I’m here because I have something very important to tell you-“

“Get in line then, I don’t have time for your shit right now-“

Your nerves tingle in excitement when you pin him against the destroyed wall behind him.

This. This is the moment you worked you hard for, the moment you’ve been waiting for since he disappeared into darkness.

“I’m pregnant, Sukuna.”

The smile on his face disappears in an instant, you watch in sheer amusement as he turns pale as snow. This is too good to be true, absolutely priceless.

“So you fucked with somebody else, huh?”

“Both you and I know that it’s not possible for a simple human or curse to impregnate a woman like me.”

Oh, he knows damn well that you’re right. Frantically, he pushes his large hand against your stomach, searching for a sign of life. You have to be joking. He was gone for ages. And even though he wasn’t able to not get a taste of you, to not sink into your inviting flesh from time to time, there simply is no possibility, it can’t be true…

His soul leaves his body, breath getting stuck in his throat.

There it is, a tiny movement, a minor heartbeat.

You are indeed pregnant.

“There is no way”, he breathes out.

“Ask be how I did it.”

Your face is only inches away from his, maniac grin laughing down at him. You’ve had this plan in your mind for a long time. After he slipped through your fingers and didn’t return for literal years, you needed a plan. A plan to force him to stay by your side, a plan to bind him to you forever.

Ryomen Sukuna will always be yours. And you made sure of that.

“To be honest, it wasn’t hard to get what I needed for it. You aren’t especially careful when it comes to-“

“It shouldn’t even be possible”, he interrupts you breathlessly.

“You…You little bitch.”

You laugh at him hysterically as he throws you against the wall and chokes you until you see stars.

“Congrats, dear Sukuna. I’m sure you’ll be the best dad ever”, you choke out while sticking out your tongue.  

“And you’ll stay with me until the end of time.”

Tags:  @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @gojosrealwife  @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain  @risuola  @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez @belovedvamp @wifenanami @chilichopsticks @brycequinlansbrightpinkthong

[helaelaemond]

Teach Me Your Touch - Michael Gavey x Reader

HELAELAEMOND’S KINKTOBER

thank you @arcielee for the banner!

Pairing:  Michael Gavey x f!reader

Word count: 3k

Summary: You missed a lecture and have your classmate Michael Gavey share his notes and help you catch up. He's not good at teaching, and he makes you feel stupid. He makes you feel bad. When you cry, he wants to fuck you all better.

Content warning(s): light elements of bullying (prior to smut), feelings of intellectual inferiority

KINK CATEGORIES: public sex, crying, inexperience/loss of virginity (male), fingering (female receiving)

Rating: E

Tagging those who showed interest: @llemes @assortedseaglass @sapphire-writes @theoneeyedprince @ewanmitchellcrumbs @humanpurposes @underjeno @st-eve-barnes @arcielee @babyblue711

Michael's voice is snappy. "Are you listening to me?"

You look up at him in defeat. "Yes, I'm trying! But I don't-"

"I can't make it any clearer!"

You lean forward on the table and rest your head in your hands. "You're making me feel stupid."

He huffs. "Maybe you are."

Arsehole. Why did you even ask him for his help? You know he's a dickhead, but he's also smart. Last semester, you worked on a group project with him and although he was terrible working with other people, his understanding of the subject was unmatched. He's like a walking calculator, for God's sake, and that intellect seems to apply to every module.

Besides, last time, he had a mean streak, but he also seemed to soften with you. You're not exactly a bombshell, but you're still a woman, and he's a lonely man. You were kind to him last time you worked together, and it made him kinder, too.

Whatever rapport once existed between you, though, seems to have faded. Now, you're sat on the second floor of Radcliffe library under the tall arched ceilings at 2am. No one else is around to see your shame, thankfully.

It's been a long time since you've felt simple. You shouldn't feel stupid - you're on the same course as him! You only missed one lecture! It shouldn't be this hard!

"You're not making it easy to understand," you mumble.

"What?" he asks, irritated.

You lift your head and look at him, eyes red. "My mind doesn't work as quick as yours. I need you to explain it differently."

He blinks at you from behind his thick glasses, and you watch as he swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing above his buttoned collar. "Right. Fine. You did the reading, and you understand that a tangled hierarchy is a hierarchical consciousness system in which a strange loop appears. Right?"

Clenching your jaw, you nod. "That much I understand, Michael. I'm not as simple as you think."

"I don't think you're simple. I think you're acting simple."

It's too late and you're too tired. Hot tears spill down your cheeks. "You're acting mean."

"What?" He has the audacity to look shocked. "I'm helping!"

"No, you're not." You stand up and shove your notes into your rucksack hastily, along with your pens and library copy of the required reading. "You've spent the last three hours making me feel stupid and small and unintelligent, and you've enjoyed every second."

"No!" he protests angrily. "Don't tell me how I feel!"

"Alright! Well, that's how you've made me feel! And that's not fair! God, I really thought-" You cut yourself off and take a deep breath. But you're still crying, and it's embarrassing, and you furiously wipe away your tears. They're quickly replaced.

Michael stands up and follows you as you stalk off down the rows and rows of bookcases. He calls your name, but you ignore him. It's loathsome how hearing him say it gives you butterflies. "Will you just wait?" he shouts.

You whirl around to face him, making your rucksack fall off your shoulder and onto the floor. The noise echoes in the cavernous library, and you're suddenly very aware of how empty it is of other people. It didn't bother you before. It doesn't exactly bother you now, either, but... but there's something intense about the way he looks at you. It's angry, it's apprehensive, it's... it makes your skin crawl.

"What is it, Michael?" you ask. You're caught somewhere between anger and weariness.

"It's not my fault you feel stupid," he says defiantly.

"For the love of-"

"Because you're not stupid. You're just acting it. Like I said."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

He swallows. "Yes. You're not as smart as me. But that doesn't mean you're stupid."

You laugh dryly. "I don't know why I was ever nice to you. You have no interest in being nice to me."

Again, confusion flickers over his face. "I agreed to help you, didn't I? that's nice!"

"I think you only agreed to it so you could make me feel like dirt." You pick up your bag again and continue your way to the stairs that will take you down to the main entrance. You're still crying. He's absolutely shattered you tonight, and it's not fair.

Suddenly, there's a hand around your wrist, and it stops you in your tracks. It becomes abundantly clear that Michael Gavey is far stronger than he looks. You're left breathless when, out of nowhere, he pulls you between tall bookcases. He towers over you. You've always noticed how tall he is. Despite his somewhat bookish appearance, there's something about him that has always been nice to look at. Perhaps it's his thick hair, or his sharp jaw, or his pretty blue eyes. Something about him, despite his nasty streak, makes you wish he approved of you.

"Stop crying."

You sniff and look up at him in shame. "I'm trying."

"Try harder."

That makes your face crumple again. "Leave me alone."

"I want to help."

"Let me go."

"You're kind to me," he says, his voice suddenly quieter. When he says your name, it cracks. "I'm trying to make you feel better."

"It's not working."

"Teach me," he whispers. The intensity with which he is now looking at you in almost too much.

"Say something nice about me."

"Oh. Um." His hand loosens slightly on your wrist. You're all too aware of how clammy it is against your skin. You don't care. Any touch from him is, unfortunately, welcome. "Your work on our projective geometry project was good."

"I know it was."

"Alright." He licks his lips. His eyes dart to yours. "You're... good at explaining things in different ways. I'm not."

You sniff, and look down at your feet. His body is close to yours, and your gaze catches something in his trousers. Perhaps his zipper is caught on something. Or perhaps... perhaps...

Your heart races.

"Why did you agree to help me?" you ask, eyes still downcast.

"You asked."

"Why?"

"I..."

"Tell me the truth, Michael."

"Um."

It's so late, and you're so tired. The uncertainty makes the tears fall again. Your head hurts so much. "I'm going."

Michael cries out your name throatily. In a heartbeat, he grasps your shoulders and pushes you against the bookcase, and then his tall, lean body is pressed against yours and his clammy hands find their place on your neck. "Don't cry," he tells you. His face comes closer to yours. His glasses begin to steam up.

"You've done this to me."

"I want to make you feel better. But..."

"But?"

"But you're so pretty when you cry."

And then he kisses you.

It is messy, wet, and needy. He doesn't hesitate to push his tongue against yours, and his glasses press against your face. It should make you squirm away. But it makes you whimper quietly. Your bag drops to the floor, and your hands fly to his narrow hips. You open your mouth wide against his desperately, your teeth clinking against his, and he mirrors you until your lips, your cheeks, your nose, are wet with his spit.

He doesn't know what he's doing. You hardly do, either. And it's so fucking good.

"Michael," you whisper between hard and deep kisses.

He groans your name. "I've thought about this since we first met."

"You thought about me?"

He nods, before burying his face in your throat. His greedy mouth kisses up and down before they settle where your neck and shoulder meet, and he sucks. At his hips, your hands ball into fists around his belt. The carabiner he wears on it with a collection of USBs knocks against your fingers and you tug on it.

You want to fuck him.

"Yeah," he murmurs against your skin. "Think about you in lectures. What I wanna do to you."

To you. Not with you. God, that should make you want to leave. Instead, you resolve to stay.

"Yeah?" you ask breathlessly. "Show me."

"Okay."

Nervous sweat dampens his forehead, but you don't care. You feel it when he presses it against yours and palms you over your jacket. Your soft bra is padded, and you can hardly feel his touch. It's driving you mad. In frustration, you unbutton your shirt quickly and look up at him. "Touch me. Please, Michael, please-"

He breathes loudly through his mouth. His lips are wet with sailva; he's practically drooling. He hesitates.

"Have you been with a woman before?" you ask, chest heaving with need.

His grits his teeth, anger flashing across his face at the question, the mere insinuation that this is his first time. You take that as a no.

So it's your turn to teach him. But just from his desperate kisses, you're almost blind with desire, and there's not much patience left in you. So you pull your breast free from its cup, and press on the back of his head. He's so fucking tall. "Kiss me here," you whine softly. "Suck my nipple."

He is a better pupil than tutor. Perhaps, if you were less aroused, you would tell him to be gentler. But as it is, his eagerness is rough and hard and just what you need. The sharp pull of his mouth sends electricity through you, from your head to your toes, and you arch up against him.

"Your hand," you tell him. "Down my trousers. You thought about that, right?"

Against your breast, he nods. He bites your nipple, and you dig your teeth into your lip to keep quiet. It's the middle of the night, but anyone could walk in.

He fumbles with your button and zipper, and then his hand is down the front of your jeans and you spread your legs. He palms you hard, and instinctively, you grind against the touch.

"Let me show you something." Your breathing is laboured already, just like his. He releases your breast from his mouth and meets your gaze with pupils blown wide. You feel your heartbeat under his hand.

You wriggle your jeans down to your knees and then push down your underwear too, enough that you can spread your legs and cover his hand with yours. You guide his long fingers against your cunt, and it takes no time at all to show him how hot and swollen your clit is.

"Like that," you whisper as you press his digits into a firm and fast pace.

"God," he whimpers. "You're so... you're wet."

You nod. "Yeah. Means I want you."

Without needing to be guided this time, his touch strays down, and he presses his middle finger through your folds. When he finds your entrace and slips inside, he moans so loudly that you have to clamp your hand over his mouth.

His eyes are wide and pleading with you. He watches your face so closely as he pushes a second finger inside of you, and he kisses and sucks at your palm against his mouth.

"That's good," you tell him quietly, nodding your head. "Rub circles around my clit with your thumb. Oh, God, yeah, like that. That's good, Michael. Oh, God, don't stop."

When your hand against his mouth goes slack, he takes the opportunity to kiss you again. He shoves his tongue back into your mouth and it's so messy, so needy so erotic, that you have to quickly push his hand away depsite your previous order.

"What?" he asks, suddenly panicked. "What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing," you gasp. "Gonna make me come already."

His cheeks flush a deep red. "Really?"

He grins lopsidedly, and you whine, "want you inside."

Gulping, and with shaking hands, he unbuckles his belt and the clink of metal seems to echo loudly in the cavernous hall. He shuffles his trousers down his hips, mirroring you, and you look down to see how his hard cock strains against the soft briefs he wears. God, there shouldn't be anything sexy about the y-fronts he's sporting, but you can see the thick outline of him, his heavy balls, and its maddening.

Neither of you care that you're in public now. He pushes his underwear down, too, and when you whisper for him to lift you up, he does it with surprising easy. You kick your trousers and underwear off, spread your legs for him, and grasp the bookshelves at your back for support. His arms are hooked under your thighs and he watches with glasses slipping down his nose as his cock lines up against you.

Instinct takes over. He shoves his cock through your folds, back and forth, coating himself with your arousal, and he presses over your clit with his tip time and time again.

He moans your name too loudly.

"Shh," you soothe, as if you're not fighting with all of your strength to stay quiet. "God, that feels good."

"Inside?" he asks, unable to take his eyes off his cock on your cunt.

"If you want."

"I do." He meets your gaze. There's a vulnerability in him that you haven't seen before. And then you clench, and he feels your muscles tighten, and desire wins out. After a moment of slipping through you, he presses his blunt head against you, and pushes into you in one, swift movement.

The speed takes you by surprise. He's bigger than the vibrator you've been satisfied with lately, but that's alright. You're wet and throbbing, relaxed enough to take him. But it's still a stretch, albeit a blissful one. It's a stretch that borders the line between sweet and stinging, and tears prick your eyes. Good tears, this time.

"Okay?" he asks, voice cracking.

They drip down your cheeks but you smile, biting your lip, and nod. "Yeah. Hard. Go hard, Michael. Need- God, need you!"

And he does as you tell him. "Think about you," he grunts as he thrusts hard and fast. He's on the tip of his toes, knees bent, as he sets a brutal pace that has your body aflame. "All the... fuck, all the time. Oh! Oh!"

You clamp your hand back over his mouth to stifle his moans, and they dissolve into whimpers that match his hard, laboured breaths. They come through his nose and make the skin of your hand prickle. Michael grips your hips hard enough to bruise and it's so good, it's so fucking good. He wants you, he needs you. That's why he agreed to help you. That's why he accepted your kindness.

He likes you. Buried six inches deep in you, you realise this. It makes you bury your face into his neck, and you bite his earlobe. He whimpers in response. "Shh," you soothe.

"Close," he groans against your hand.

"Me too," you breathe. The coil in your stomach is tightening. The tension in your thighs spreads up your back, between your shoulders, and all the way down to your toes. As you wrap your legs around his slim waist, you wonder, in the back of your mind, if the shoes you still wear will leave a mark on his shirt.

"Oh, fuck, fuck, so good, fuck-!" He comes suddenly, buried deep inside you, and you feel him spurt inside of you. But it doesn't matter, you're so undone it doesn't matter, it doesn't fucking matter-!

He whines your name and presses his groin tight against your as his orgasm stutters over him. Dropping his head on your shoulder, he pants, and whispers your name.

"Michael," you protest quietly. "Plase, I'm not there, I'm-"

You rock your hips against him needily. As if it is the easiest thing in the world, he sets you down and pulls out, and immediately replaces his cock with his hand. Just as you showed him before, he buries his fingers back in your pussy and circles your clit with his thumb, and you appreciate it, you do, but it's not enough, it's not enough-

"Oh, God," you groan softly. "Like this."

You're trembling close and youre's so needy, and you grab his hand and press all fingers against your mound, showing him to press as hard and fast as he can. It hurts in the best way, and his hand is almost a blur, and he studies your face with an open mouth as your expression crinkles, tightens, your jaw slack and eyes scrunched closed.

The orgasm he gives you explodes through your body and you white out, knees giving way and balancing falling through. With his hand still firm against your cunt, he catches you and holds you steady, and you clutch against him blindly for balance. "I've got you," he grunts. "Easy."

But there's pride in his voice. He keeps his hand against you even after your orgasm has washed over you. Your flesh there twitches, hot and swollen, and his fingers gently press in different places to learn about you. Whatever information he gathers makes him smile.

After a long moment, enough strength returns to you that you can stand steadily again. "God, that was..."

"Acceptable?" he asks hopefully.

You're bending down to pull your underwear and trousers back on, and you glance up, trying not to grin. "It was good."

He smiles slightly and nods, looking away as if deep in thought. "Alright, that's good, then. Next time, should I wait for you to... to finish first?"

"Next time?" you ask with a quiet laugh. Standing upright, you do your trousers back up and he does the same, the USB still swinging from his belt.

"We have to do this again." Michael says it as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. And then, he brings the hand up covered in your wetness, and he licks his fingers clean. His eyes close in bliss. "You taste so sweet."

Biting the inside of your cheek, you smile even wider. "You don't have to do that."

Swallowing, he murmurs your name and smiles. It's the most genuine smile you've seen him wear. "Oh, I do. You know me. Always had a sweet tooth."

[circeyoru]

Yandere Alastor react to soul owner reader it hurt [ again ] but this time it's a badly injury.

Let's just say the reader got sneak attack by some demon.

[ Who ever that demon is Alastor not going let that demon go in the most peaceful way ever ]

Nothing much I just want to see Alastor being really protected and in his true form.

After he's finished with that demon Alastor quickly helped the reader and being really really protected if anyone getting a bit just a little bit too close Alastor well standing at deadly also really clingy like cleaning more than usual.

[ I think the reader understand why but get a bit annoying but understand why ]

That's all I got like I said before stay healthy and strong don't forget to drink water too!

Go to MASTERLIST for the works. This ask is for {Unwanted Souls}.

I gotcha! I'm setting this as before Alastor gave you his soul. We don't have enough moments for those times. So this one will be a bit long~

Enjoy!

It was a simple shopping trip. One simple shopping trip. In and out. As simple as that. A 3-year-old would have gotten things done as easily. But nooooo. This is Hell, things are bound to be troublesome.

Like this stupid scene.

"Ugh..." You gripped onto your dominant arm, a big gush that covered your arm with blood oozing out of it. One of your eyes squeezed shut from the pain, and you sat in the debris of what remained on the shelves of canned food. Your legs had long given out from the knockout and impact. "What's your problem?"

"Maybe you should have given me everything, instead of being such a f**ker and act all cool and sh*t." The demon snarled, picking up a random beer bottle to aim another throw.

You closed your eyes shut; you just have to take it and let this stupid demon have his fun unless it was of a sexual nature, then you can heal yourself and get home to your comfortable anime and music. Your body tensed as you mentally prepared what's to come.

Only, it didn't. Instead, there was a loud static that rang.

Your good eye opened and widened a bit when you saw the scene in front of you.

"Dear, you were taking a while. I knew I should have come with you instead of standing guard." Alastor's radio-filtered voice growled threateningly while his antlers grew in size and length. His sclera turned black, his iris glowed red, and his form enlarged to tower over the market shelves.

"Your funeral.." You sighed as your book holster, picking out your book and turning to a page to rip it out and blow at it. A transparent jelly-like substance dome formed around you, a barrier. "Honest, I warned you."

The demon laughed, "You think this is intimidating? Sure, go ahead and kill me. Demons can't die unless with those flying f**ker's f**king weapons anyway!"

You rolled your eyes. At this point, this demon was being a complete idiot that death was too good of an end to give. "Yeah... A quick and painless death is not exactly his style." Your eyes wandered to the side, "Ask the souls in his broadcast later on."

"Broadcast?" The demon turned its head back to Alastor, fear and regret on its face. "What..."

You tried your best to ignore the demon's screams and Alastor's maniacal laughter. The nearby demons also tried but failed to leave the vicinity. But it was hard to ignore the occasional blood splatters that came in contact with your shield dome, every time red came into your peripheral vision, you unconsciously flinched. It has gotten to the point that there were limbs thrown all around the place. You shouldn't have glanced over to Alastor because you saw him devouring a demon whole in his giant form.

You turned away. Sure Hell was disturbing and you watch similar things, but this was so much different when experiencing in real life. Not to mention, Alastor was your roommate at the moment. At times like these that you wonder if he even needed you saving him from that time.

Silently, you took out your pages to weakly scribble on the page for a light form of healing. When you were done, there wasn't a wound on your body to prove your pain or the torn clothes. Still, you didn't move because you didn't want to be a moving target to the crazy psycho demon who was having his fun.

The last straw was made when the demon's mangled body was dragged into the shadows while claws tried to save its fate. "Hey! Help me! Please! I'm sorry! Mercy!"

Alastor grinned, enjoying and savouring the pleading demon that was showing the two of you such a pitiful display. The sick joy he felt when he brought the poor thing to your mercy. Oh, this has to be love. He can't imagine another being taking away attention that was rightfully his but you.

And that cold and indifferent in your eyes, that pretty face that only displayed the hint of annoyance and disgust to the demon. "Like I told you when you first stupidly approached me: You'll regret talking to me."

Alastor's head snapped to the side, the shadows dragged the demon into his cane. Screams of the demon echoed but then silence came. Another voice of screams to the endless broadcast of torture.

As quick as it started, it ended. Alastor shrank down, fixing up his outfit before his eyes wandered to where you were. He made quick strides to you and bowed in a manner that was so familiar to a certain character. "My Dear, everything's dealt with."

The barrier dropped after a few seconds when you accessed that he was speaking the truth. It was more in the way of knowing he wouldn't direct his bloodthirsty destruction onto you as well. Since you weren't very nice to him, "So it would appear."

Alastor's eyes narrowed while his smile grew, solely focused on your weakened self. "May I carry you back? I can't imagine letting myself watch you limp through the streets!"

You looked away with a scowl and a slight frown, you didn't want to admit it, but you were in no condition to walk back and your healing took a bit out of you. "Fine. Just this once."

Swiftly, without missing a beat, Alastor already had you in his arms like one would carry a princess or lady. "Wonderful! I'll treasure this moment!"

You made yourself comfortable, you knew Alastor would take the long way home, you played with your fingers while you listened to his heartbeat that was a bit fast. You peeked up at him, he was keeping a watchful eye on the demons around.

"Don't get used to this. You're leaving soon."

Alastor didn't say anything, but his laugh told you he saw it as one hell of a joke.

Later on when you look back on this moment, you'll be wondering if that was meant for him to hear, or yourself.

[autistichalsin]

Oh are the entitled little babies doing their "the game would have been literally perfect if Halsin hadn't been given the ~4 hours more of voice lines extra than he would have had if he was just a camp follower" tantrum again?

Must be Tuesday.

For the record, Halsin being given four hours extra of voice lines did not cause:

Wyll to have less content; if you think Wyll deserved more, you should be mad at Lae'zel, not him, as they're the ones who shared a writer (and it's clear his writer favors Lae'zel)

Minthara to have less content; if you think she deserved more, you should be mad at Karlach, not her, as they're the ones who shared a writer (In fact, quite the opposite of "stealing content" from poor baby Minthara, Halsin being added is part of the reason Minthara was added at all, because they would never have added a romanceable companion of one gender without also adding one of the other gender; if it wasn't for fan demand for Halsin, Minthara too would have stayed in act 1. Further, Minthara actually has three minutes more of voice lines than him)

Astarion to have nearly twice as many voice lines as Wyll

Wyll facing numerous bugs, including to his romantic greetings

Some characters, especially Karlach and Wyll, having unsatisfying story arcs

And before you say "but if they hadn't been busy adding Halsin's kisses they could have been free to fix Wyll's glitches sooner!" Those are different teams. Programmers are not artists are not writers. Once the kisses were drawn, it would have taken minutes to program them into the game, compared to the weeks-long endeavor identifying and fixing bugs is.

"But why couldn't Halsin's writer have written for Wyll and Minthara instead?! Halsin still ruined the game!" I hear you crying. One, that's not how the process for Larian to allocate writers for each character works, but even if it was, why are you complaining that Halsin was given a writer to share with another character and not that Astarion was given MULTIPLE writers? Astarion is literally the only character who actually could be accused of being shown favoritism by Larian.

Halsin's spellcasting lines were literally broken for over a year, and his point-and-click lines were broken for half a year, and there was a bug for nearly that long where traveling from act 2 to act 1 would cause him to die, and you still think that Halsin getting a handful of kiss animations, and those animations being used to tease patch 6 (with Halstarion and Shadowzel kisses both being used) is a sign of "favoritism"? Why then do you not say this about every character who was given new kiss animations?

And by the way, you really give the game away when you say "Larian should just go in the code and remove Halsin entirely". Because that would take months of story, animation, AND programming work- it would be an all-hands-on-deck effort. Even if we ignored that Larian is discontinuing story updates after patch 7, this would literally guarantee no companion ever gets another update again. Even if you amend it to "Halsin shouldn't be able to leave act 2" we are still talking about the same thing. If you say this, you make it blatantly obvious that you literally don't think too much work was put into Halsin, you just plain don't like his character and are using him as a scapegoat over things that actually did go wrong at Larian. You're cutting off your nose to spite your face, and your goal of your precious baby getting more content is secondary at best to hating Halsin.

And for the record, Minthara has three MORE minutes of voice lines than Halsin, so you can't even say she was in any way mistreated compared to Halsin. Further, if you look at who has received how many new lines in post-launch patches, Halsin is near the bottom and Minthara is near the top. There's more of a case for Larian showing favoritism to Minthara than there is for them showing favoritism to Halsin, seeing as Larian keeps adding dialogue for her good path recruitment, and backed out of adding the ultimatum to the game because Minthara fans whined that it was too mean to her. But I don't go around crying that Minthara being added to the game literally is the reason I can't kiss Halsin in act 2, because that would be insane.

The ONLY companion who has a case for being mistreated compared to others is Wyll compared to the OTHER ORIGINS, not to Halsin.

[mrs-barnes-rogers-writes]

A Second Chance Is A Better Chance - Part 22

Marvel AU

Pairing: Alpha Steve Rogers x Omega Witch Reader, eventual ? x Omega Witch Reader and Alpha Steve Rogers X Omega Witch Reader

Theme: A/B/O / True Mates

Series Warnings: A/B/O, eventual smut, violence in parts, witchcraft, shapeshifters

Chapter Summary: Bucky and the reader start a heart to heart.

Chapter Warning: Mentions of witchcraft, past trauma.

You keep your hands down, watching them as they shake, as Bucky drives you home. His eyes flicker between your face, the road ahead and your hands.

"You OK?" He asks.

"I'm not sure." You reply, your voice full of uncertainty.

"Look, what she said..."

"I don't want to talk about it." You say abruptly, rubbing the tears from your face. Buck sighs in response.

"Sorry." You whisper.

"You don't need to be sorry. You don't want to talk about it, so that's on me, but I need you to know none of what she said is true and it won't stop Steve wanting you."

"You don't know that." You reply, your gaze now out the window.

"I do."

You can't help but role your eyes.

"Y/N, I know Steve. I've known that punk since we were knee high on a playground. I know everything about him. It's the reason I'm the beta of the pack. I can read that kid like a book, and I know how much it tore him apart when he was rejected, and I know he'd never do that to you."

"But that's the thing, you know Steve, you don't know me James."

Bucky tries to ignore the pull in his chest when he hears you call him by his first name.

"Well, I know now that your mother's an asshole."

"Not just my mother."

"Your dad too?"

"My biological dad, I don't even know him. My stepfather, I don't even know where to start."

"Start at the beginning."

"I'm not drunk enough for that and you don't have all day to listen to my bullshit."

"I've got time. and you've brought vodka."

You shook your head and let out a huff.

"You're not going to let this go are you? You're not going to give up? Any of you?"

"I can't speak for that bunch of idiots but I can speak for myself, and for Steve." He paused and reached over to squeeze your hand. "They didn't give up on me, and I'm not giving up on you."

You looked down at his hand on yours and pulled yours away.

"You shouldn't have done that, I could of hurt you."

"But you didn't, plus your hands aren't shaking anymore."

Your brow furrowed and you looked down to see he was right.

"You seem confused babydoll?"

"It's normally harder than that."

"Well according to Sam, and it kills me to use that idiot as a reference," he smirked, "but he said its usually easier for a witch to control things when they're with their pack, and I know Wanda has definitely been more settled since she became part it."

"Wanda, that's Natasha mate? Pietro's sister?"

"Yeah, her and Nat are kinda busy at the minute."

You smirked.

"Oh I know I can smell them all the way up here."

Bucky let out a chuckle.

"Yeah I think her shielding needs work. Maybe you can help her with that?"

"Maybe." You shrugged.

"I have a question."

"You seem to have a lot of those."

"Actually, I haven't asked you that much at all little miss luna." He replied, a glint in his eye. You rolled your eyes. "So, can I ask?"

"About what?"

"Is it true you put a shield over the whole damn town? In Queensborough?"

"Oh my goddess, is that really your question?"

"Yep, look I've served right, I seen shields, seen witches on the frontline. I've seen Wanda use them here and there, and Loki, but we try not to talk about him. Anyway, they said, I heard it was the whole town."

"From who?"

"A contact from S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Oh that Fury guy?"

Bucky laughed hard.

"What? Why are you laughing?"

"That 'Fury guy' is the Director or S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Well, he should do his job better." You shrugged. Bucky laughed again.

"You're right, he should." He laughed. You watched as his face lit up with a smile, and his eyes creased with laughter. He really was a beautiful beta. Bigger than any you had ever met and built very differently to Billy but there was something about him you couldn't shake. You felt your cheeks heat and pulled your eyes away. Looking around you realised you were home. Well, your current home, Stark's cottage. Sam pulled up in your car, parking it back in your original space next to the cottage. He stepped out and made his way to the passenger side of the truck. You put the window down as he approached.

"You OK?" He asked. You nodded in reply.

"I'm sorry for causing a scene back there. If I embarrassed you..."

"Woah, woah, woah, hold on a second there babygirl. You did not embarrass us." Sam told you.

You looked down at your hands.

"But"

"But nothing. You didn't embarrass us. Now, do you need to release some of that energy because I know a couple of spots that Pepper wanted plants." He smiled, pulling open the door for you. "Do you know how to do that? Push into the ground, make plants and all that?"

"I do, I've not done it in a while though." You replied, thinking back to your lessons with Cordelia and Fiona.

"You've got this babygirl." He replied, as he helped you from the truck.

Sam guided you around to the back of the cottage and into the back garden, which you'd yet to venture into. Bucky followed closely behind, his hand soon finding the small of your back. As you looked between them both, you couldn't help but feel at ease. They weren't scared of your powers and if anything, they seemed to embrace it. Being in the military they'd seen witches in all shapes and sizes, and had probably fought with them and against them. So had Billy and Frank, but even they had been suspicious of you to begin with. It was the reason Frank had gone looking for you when he'd heard the rumours around town that you were there and why he asked what you wanted in exchange for helping them at the docks the day of the accident. Sure things had changed quite quickly, but there was something about Sam and Bucky being unfazed, being so accepting that warmed your heart.

Maybe you should talk to Steve.

Enjoy this fic? Fancy a cuppa? My Ko-Fi.

TAGLIST

@animegirlgeeky @mrsevans90 @slut4rogers @jvanilly @otterlycanadian @neocity-mel @jessjessmarvelandhp @littletomboy2

[sunny44]

Me or him? Pt.2

Pairing: Pierre Gasly x best friend! Reader

Warning: nothing serious I guess.

Summary: After the fight with Pierre and the break-up with your boyfriend, you and Pierre end up in the same boat on an outing with friends but he was not alone.

Part 1

When the Hungarian Grand Prix weekend was over I was exhausted.

Pierre wasn't speaking to me, Jason and I had broken up and were now on summer break and I had never had such a lonely vacation as this.

After the fight with Pierre I thought it would be as silly as the others that we would talk as usual after we had calmed down but apparently for him that wasn't going to happen.

I tried to talk to him and apologize for being so insensitive about his feelings for me and that I shouldn't have blamed him for Jason's craziness.

But when I went to him all he did was ignore me and he is doing that to this day. I hadn't even been able to tell him that Jason and I were no longer together and that he could be happy that he didn't have to see his face anymore.

Before the fight we had arranged with Charles and Max to all go out together on Charles's boat and that was what we would do today.

I had packed up my things and was now in the harbor and soon saw Charles from a distance talking to Pierre who as soon as he saw me I could see the displeasure on his face.

"Hi boys."

"What's up y/n." Charles says excitedly hugging me and Pierre just gets into the boat. "Are you guys still fighting?"

"Apparently."

"He'll get over soon, he's just angry.

"I know but I hate being in bad terms with him."

"I know but he'll get over it you'll see." We confide in each other for a while until Max shows up next and minutes later Pierre comes out of the boat all excited and walks straight past us to a girl who was standing there.

I didn't know her which was strange since we had the same friends but when Pierre kissed her I understood that she wasn't just a friend.

That made my eyes roll back because this was classic of him, one week he would say that he was in love and the next week he would show up with a completely different girl.

And this only made me angrier because I spent days blaming myself for having said those things to him when in fact they were just more empty words.

"Well folks this is Scarlett. This is Charles, Max and y/n."

"It's a pleasure to meet you all." She smiles kindly and shakes everyone's hand. "I've heard a lot of things about you."

"Oh I hope good things." I answer that not to say I had never even heard of her.

"Don't worry, they were good things." I smiled at her and turned my back on them heading toward the boat.

Honestly, he managed to end my day in less than five minutes.

------

Scarlett laughed out loud at anything Pierre said and honestly I think she was only pretending because Pierre was many things but funny was not one of them.

Yes he was spontaneously funny but not that funny for her to laugh so hard.

“Are you ok?" I get scared by the voice. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay, I was just distracted." Max smiles and sits down next to me.

"You don't like her?" I looked at her and him again.

"I have no reason not to like her, I met her today and she was very kind."

"Then why aren't you talking to each other?"

"We fought over some things."

"Over your boyfriend?"

"Ex-boyfriend." When I say that I could notice Pierre's surprised face and that's where I realized that he was listening.

"I didn't know you guys had broken up."

"We brake up in the Hungary race, because of Pierre."

"Did he do something?"

"In parts yes but that's not why we broke up." Max was silent waiting for me to continue explaining. "Jason always had this crazy idea that Pierre was in love with me and every time he could bring it up he did and that was the cause for a fight between us and in Hungary Pierre confessed that he was really in love with me and when I told Jason he thought that would be a reason for me and Pierre not to be friends anymore so he made me choose between the two of them. And I chose Pierre."

"Wow. But I still don't understand why you’re fighting."

"I said some things that I regretted up until the moment he showed up with her here. I thought it was wrong of me not to validate his feelings for me but really he just did what he always does, says he's in love with a girl one day and then shows up with another one a day after. So now I'm mad at him too."

"I get it, but he really is in love with you and that's nothing new."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because one time he almost hit me because I said I wanted to ask you out."

"Well but that doesn't matter if he's with her." Max just agreed. "And just for you to know I had the biggest crush on you when we were younger so I probably would have accepted if you had asked me out."

"I missed my chance." He says and I laugh bringing the attention of the others to us.

——————

Max and I stayed a long time talking until the others joined us.

Now I was walking home happy for the first fun day I had so far on this vacation. I left my slippers by the door and put my backpack on the couch and as I was going to my room to take a shower the doorbell of my apartment rang and when I opened the door I saw Pierre standing there.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk."

"So now you want to talk? Really?"

"Yes."

"Well it's a shame you came all this way for nothing because I don't want to talk to you." I went to close the door but he held it and came in. "What part of I don't want to talk to you don't you understand?"

"Please just listen to me okay?"

"No I don't want to listen to you because when I wanted you to listen you ignored me."

"I love you okay?" He says making me stay silent. "I've always loved you and when you started dating Jason I hated it, I hated that it wasn't me in his place and I think that's when he realized that I was in love with you. And I thought it wouldn't last so I accepted it without saying anything because I thought that as soon as he broke up with you that would be my chance. But that didn't happen and I've been blaming myself all these years for not saying anything sooner."

"Pierre..."

"And then you said that in Hungary and I couldn't hold back and said I was in love with you but I didn't think you would react that way so I got angry."

"React in what way?" I asked him.

"That the idea that I like you is so disgusting that you blame me for you two fighting." I looked down at the floor in shame. "And then I took Scarlett today because I knew you'd be there and I wanted to act like I was over you but then I heard you tell Max that you weren't dating anymore and that's when I decided I wouldn't make the same mistake I made years ago. Even though you don't want anything to do with me now I had to do it or I would regret not doing it..."

I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him, he immediately stopped talking and when he realized it was really happening his hands went to my waist pulling me closer and his tongue slid across my mouth.

I actually don’t know why I kiss him, I had never felt anything for him or at least I didn't think so.

But now that I’m here kissing him I wonder why it took me so long to do this and why I wasted years of my life with Jason when I actually had a guy who loved me right in front of me.

"You talk too much." I said as soon as we stopped kissing.

"If you're going to interrupt me like this all the time I'm sure I'll talk more often." I started to laugh at him, who gave me a quick kiss. "So what do we do now?"

"Well I'm going to take a shower while you order a pizza and we'll watch a random movie. We don't need to deal with any of that right now, we have time."

"Sounds perfect to me."

Bonus scene!

Yourusername stories

“Best vacation day are always at home”

Pierre Gasly stories

“I love vacations at Monaco”

[merakiui]

MeraAaaAaaa!!! How dare you bring up having a fwb relationship with alpha!yandere!alhaitham and not expand more on that!! 😭😭😭 I need this. I NEED HIM SO BADLY!!! LAJDKSK

He's actually so frustrating!!! You could be in heat and he will act so unaffected. His restraint is so very commendable; he hardly spares you much reaction and will even cover his nose and say something along the lines of, "You should be more aware of your cycles so that you aren't an inconvenience to others." >:( it's really difficult to know what Alhaitham truly thinks because he's usually so straight-faced and serious, and he takes all the necessary precautions so he won't put himself in a troublesome position. But you beg him, tell him he smells good, cling to him out of biological imperative, and oohhh you're so lucky he's strong enough to resist, if just barely, otherwise he'd have you pinned against the nearest surface right this very moment.

The fwb relationship is established the day he helps you find relief in the midst of your heat. He's just helping you because it would be inconvenient and dangerous to leave you alone when other alphas (who may not have as much restraint or respect as Alhaitham) could be lurking nearby. And he's certain you woudn't want to come out of your heat marked and knocked up by some stranger. Truthfully, he doesn't want you to be marked and bred by someone you hardly know. If it were up to him, he'd rather do those things.

There's no getting rid of him after the fact. You can thank him all you want, buy him lunch out of gratitude, and insist you'll be more cautious going forwards, but Alhaitham is here to stay. He always throws things back in your face. Wasn't it you who begged him for this? Didn't you say you wanted him to be your alpha? He's only following your protocol. :) and, yes, perhaps you did say things like that, but the you who was in heat is vastly different from the you who is not in heat. He just won't drop the matter, reminding you that it's much more beneficial if you engage in mutually beneficial relations with someone you know and trust. What if he hadn't been there to help? What if it was another alpha, one with less restraint? What would you have done? You would have accepted anyone in that state, wouldn't you? And that's exactly the point Alhaitham's trying to make: it's dangerous if you're going to be so careless about your heats.

He does make a good argument. You know that, by biology's design, you will always be at a disadvantage when you're an omega in heat. You know Alhaitham's only looking out for you as a friend should. You know you should feel relieved he's even willing to go through all of the trouble to help you during future heats. And doesn't everyone wish to have a strong, sensible alpha care for them when they're at their most vulnerable?

Alhaitham's infatuation is subtle and so easily hidden. You'll never know he's harboring such an obsession. He only lets it slip when you're in heat because you're too omega-brained to really register the meaning behind his words, and everything he says and does is just music to your ears. He can get away with being possessive and maddeningly infatuated when you're in heat because that's when you're truly his. Though it's all loveless and the two of you are stuck as friends (nothing more, as you always claim) it's hard to ignore the chemistry beyond heat sex. Sometimes you'll spend mornings in bed with him, too lazy to get up, insisting on spending five more minutes in the comforts of his room. Sometimes he brings you breakfast. Sometimes he helps you to the bath. Sometimes it really feels like domestic bliss.

And eventually you'll spend so many heats with him that, the next time you go into heat, your body might even recognize him as your alpha. You really shouldn't tell him to bite you with such a tempting voice. He might just give you exactly what you want, if only to finally make you his and excuse such carelessness on the addictive effects you have on him.

Whatever happens, Alhaitham will have a logical reasoning to explain it away. He always does, and you always believe him.

[guppybibi]

It's For The Best

𖦹 pairing: Kiyoko Shimizu x fem!reader

𖦹 word count: 843

𖦹 content: angst, i think?? Gay, very gay. not proofread ! i also dont know how weddings work..

𖦹notes: haii im a little inactive yes, but i just turned 14 yibee !! also school is coming up on the 29th so yeah..

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Cheers to Kiyoko, my first everything. My forever first place, best friend, home and regret. To me, meeting you will eternally be a mistake; because you couldn’t be my first love. First and foremost, we’re both girls. I can say that much. Now I watch you, walking down the altar as your delicate white gown follows you from behind, leaving a trail of your scent. As if to say, Kiyoko was once here.. Every accessory in your hair, perfectly adorning your elegant face. Just as I remembered.

It only felt like yesterday, you were walking down the school corridors, making people turn back as you passed right through them. Karasuno’s goddess, that's what you were. You made everyone’s heart throb just by the mere glimpse of you, and I’m no different. I’m one of your victims. From the day you gracefully entered the classroom, introducing yourself; I knew I was doomed. At first I shrugged it off, the both of us were no match anyway. I was a rose, beautiful yet when you come closer to me–I’ll harm you with my sharp thorns. You were a lavender flower, feminine and proper. So I didn't start anything with you, but the way your mole made you look so mature, the way your silky hair shines when we're out running for PE..It had me captivated, I was stuck in your web of madness.

But the odd part about this, is that Kiyoko seemed to return the feelings; which was rare for her nonchalant behavior. At first, you believed she was leading you on or something–doing this for some kind of bet or dare. Over time though, you came to a realization that it wasn't. You were treated differently, Kiyoko was a lot more carefree around you.

One look from Kiyoko and you’d melt in an instant, who knew all it took to tame a wild tiger like you were a mere girl? You learned a lot of things from her during the time you've spent together, more than you’d like to admit honestly. From simple activities such as cooking meals, studying together and likewise. Those things were nothing compared to learning how to love though, but can it really be considered love? Two people of the same gender shouldn't be in love after all, it's basic knowledge.

That meant that both of you silently knew that the inevitable would come eventually, yet you ignored it and acted like it wasn't right behind you two. What felt like a nice stroll down the street, turned out to be something unavoidable chasing you two down.

That day did come, sooner than the both of you’d like. It flashes through the back of your mind as you watch her say her vows with the sweetest honey-like voice you've ever heard, unlike the tone she used to speak to you on that day.

“Why won't you understand me Y/N?! Please, stop this already! I still want my best friend to be my bridesmaid someday, so please behave yourself!” She pleads, her usual confidently smooth voice replaced with this hoarse one. The ravenette could barely see through her glasses as of the moment, her eyes glossy with tears. “I just don't get it! Suddenly Tanaka’s back in your life and you're leaving me for him?! I need closure Kiyoko, I deserve an explanation!” You shout back, biting your lips to prevent any tears from spilling out. “Fine, if an explanation is what you want then that's what you’ll get. I won't sugarcoat anything.”

Which is how the both of you ended up sitting on the curb of a nearby sidewalk, slightly calmed down. “Please listen to me Y/N..Tanaka can give me the life I want, he can give me a family; children of our own, biological ones.” She explains, and the truth did really hurt. You wanted nothing but the best for her, but why did the ‘best’ have to ache this much? You could barely even speak after her explanation, you knew it made sense but her words left a bitter and sticky residue on your tongue that prevented you from speaking any further.

You walked out on her that day, walked out of her life. You never expected to even be invited to her wedding, it came unexpectedly after receiving an invitation. To be fair, the grudge you held against each other was long gone. Yet it still felt strange to see someone you had loved so much before, see you get married to another. Doesn't it?

With one swift movement and a clutch to your handbag, you turned over and spoke. “Let's go home.” Your husband quickly tilted his head in confusion, unsure on why you wanted to leave so early. But he knew better than to argue with his wife here. “Sure, cmon.” You never told him about the ‘thing’ you had with Kiyoko. You know he deserves to but he can live without knowing, he won't die from it.

Well your first isn't always your last anyways, and it certainly doesn't mean it's the best..Right?

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[starkstruck27]

It's been forever since I posted on here, so since I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, have some ftm Billy Hargrove. Also, ignore the timeline here, it isn't exactly accurate, but I don't really care lol. TWs: Very minor nod to domestic/child abuse, a touch of body dysmorphia, and depression

Billy usually wasn't this talkative after hooking up with someone, but this wasn't an ordinary hook-up. It was the 27th time he'd hooked up with Steve Harrington since he'd moved into town almost 6 months ago (not that he was keeping track or anything), but that wasn't what made it different.

It was different because this was the first time he'd ever let Steve see him naked. It was the first time he let him fully take in the body he'd been touching and praising and thrilling for months, and Steve hadn't immediately been repulsed and thrown him out. Billy had been terrified of that, if he showed Steve the scars on his chest and the distinct lack of anything between his legs and he reacted badly, he could end up dead or nearly dead, broken and bloody and devastated.

But none of those things happened, and he knew he shouldn't have worried, anyway. Steve had known for the last 2 months about the way Billy was. He'd finally told him after he pitched a fit when Billy wouldn't let him jerk him off in exchange for a blowjob behind the school. Steve had been raving and ranting so loud, Billy was afraid people would hear, so he shoved him against the wall, put a hand over his mouth and just told him he couldn't. Steve had been confused at first, but when Billy explained it, he could actually see the lightbulb clicking on in Steve's head. He'd reached up and taken Billy's hand from his mouth then, and told him that he understood, but that it didn't change anything. He still thought Billy was hot, he still liked spending time with him, and he still wanted to hook up as long as Billy was on board with it. That'd been another time when things changed during their hook-ups, because that'd been the first time Billy kissed him.

But this time felt even more different than that, because Steve had seen him, truly seen him, for the first time ever, and he didn't care. It didn't change anything, and yet everything had changed. Billy felt completely normal, and completely safe, for the first time in his whole life, and that was everything to him.

He figured that was why now, after they'd cleaned themselves up and gotten settled in Steve's bed, he was so willing to talk about everything.

It was the most he'd talked to anyone since he'd first moved to Hawkins, and as he laid there, resting his head on Steve's chest, he didn't know whether the floaty feeling in his chest was the weight of his burdens being lifted or air sickness from flying on the high of being completely honest with somebody else.

"So, you said you were six when you first noticed something about you was different?" Steve asked, tracing his fingers up and down Billy's side and giving him chills.

"I think so. That was at least when I figured out how to voice it. I think I always kinda knew, I just didn't know how to articulate it, so I never tried. Besides, I was afraid of what my dad would do if he ever found out. It was hell trying to live with that for as long as I did. I didn't hate playing with dolls and stuff, but if ever I was playing house or something with my friends, I always volunteered to be the daddy while everyone else always wanted to be the mommy. And if we were playing princesses or something, I was always the knight or the dragon because I hated being the princess. I always chose the plainest solid-color clothes the girl's section had to offer because I couldn't get the ones I really wanted from the boy's section, so I had to make do. I felt like I had a pit in my stomach and every time I was reminded that the way I looked outside didn't match who I was inside, it would grow a little bit until it felt like that was all that was left of me. I felt like a captive animal, stuck in a cage against my will for people to come and look at for their own amusement. But I couldn't tell any of this to my mom, otherwise my dad would somehow know, so I just kinda kept it to myself. When he eventually did find out, I was really surprised because he didn't even seem to care. I don't know if it was just because he didn't care about me in general or if he saw it as another thing to use against me. I assume his logic was that if he let me change myself, he could get around that whole "a man shouldn't hit a woman" thing, although that never stopped him before, so I don't know," Billy said, keeping his eyes fixed on the wall in front of him. It felt good being able to be so open and honest with somebody else, but there were still things that were hard to talk about for too long. But Steve seemed to understand that, and he never pushed, he just leaned down and kissed Billy's head softly.

"And you were how old when you told them?" Steve asked, pulling the blankets up a bit as he felt Billy shiver again.

"Twelve. It was right after my mom left, and my dad said we were going to move, so since I was going to have to start a new school, I asked if I could register under a different name, and I told him then. I think I had a heart attack when he said yes. Then I spent the weeks leading up to the move the happiest I'd ever been. I gave myself a haircut, which wasn't half bad for my first attempt ever at cutting my own hair, and then I thought about what name I wanted to go with when my dad signed me up for school. That was the hardest part, I think, because I had no idea what to call myself. None of the names I tried out really fit me, and I agonized over it for weeks, but nothing felt right," Billy said, snuggling closer to Steve under the blanket. "Eventually I had to pick something, so I just went with Fred."

"Why Fred?" Steve chuckled lightly, making Billy blush and smile a little sheepishly.

"Because he was my favorite character on Scooby-Doo," he replied, his heart soaring at the sound of Steve's laugh resonating in his chest. He couldn't help but laugh a little himself, his blush burning bright in his cheeks as he did.

"So then how did Billy come about?" Steve asked as he settled down a bit, his hand moving up to play with some of Billy's curls.

"Well, I cycled through a few names throughout the years, trying to find something that felt right. Fred didn't cut it, and neither did any of the other names I'd tried throughout middle and high school. I was going by Jamie right before we moved here, but I was trying to come up with something new before that, and I couldn't think of anything. But then a buddy and I went to see the movie St. Elmo's Fire when it came out, and I got it from that," Billy explained, starting to trace patterns on Steve's chest. "Rob Lowe was in the movie, and I remember when we were trying to figure out what movie to see, my friend stopped next to the poster outside the theater and said, "Oh my God, he looks just like Jamie". So we decided why not give that movie a try, and it was really good, but my friend could not get over how much I looked like Rob Lowe. It was honestly kind of surreal for me, too, because it was like looking in a mirror whenever he was on screen. But it wasn't just that we looked alike, it was also the fact that his character was everything I'd ever wanted to be. He was a smart ass and he was confident and a complete mess and he had style and he cared about his friends more than anything, and he was just so complex. And I remember watching the movie and just wanting to be him, not just look like him. I wanted to be as horrible and as funny and as messy and as complex and as layered and authentic and devil-may-care as he was, more than anything else in the world. So when we moved, I decided to try and become him, starting with the name. I wasn't ever gonna be Billy Hicks, but I figured being Billy Hargrove might be just as good. And the first time I said it to myself in the mirror, it finally felt right. It was the first time any name made me feel like a normal person, like a normal guy. I knew then that Billy was the only name I'd ever go by from then on."

"It was a good choice," Steve said, "It's perfect for you."

"Thanks," Billy said, smiling shyly to himself.

Neither of them said anything for a while after that. Billy had talked himself out, and Steve was perfectly fine with just lying there with him. He cared a lot about Billy, and it made him feel the strongest sense of pride he'd ever felt that Billy trusted him enough to tell him about himself, to let him see behind the walls he constructed, when so very few others got that privilege. He knew a little more about what made Billy tick, and he loved knowing. Or maybe he just loved him.

Billy was beginning to drift off by now, the quiet stillness of the room allowing Steve's steady heartbeat to lull him into drowsiness, but then it began to get faster, and Billy could feel Steve breathing deeply, like he was about to ask something else.

"You don't have to tell me this if you don't want to, but..." he started, his voice barely a whisper. "What was your name before you figured out who you were?"

"Like, the name my parents gave me?" Billy asked, leaning up on his arm as he woke up a bit, "Why?"

Steve shrugged, "Just curious. You don't have to tell me, though. Now that I'm thinking about it, it was kind of an invasive question. Sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"Hey, don't worry, it's okay," Billy said, using his other hand to turn Steve's face so he was looking at him. "I was just making sure it wasn't for any other reason that you wanted to know. But I trust you, and I like being able tell you things. It's nice being able to talk about my past without being afraid of what might happen," he paused, leaning down to kiss Steve before coming back up and looking into his eyes. "I'll tell you, but you gotta make me a promise that it'll never leave this room, okay?"

"I promise," Steve said, holding out his pinky and making Billy smile as he linked it with his own.

"Okay," he said, taking a deep breath, "It was Kimberly. My mom said she always liked that name, but she always shortened it and called me Kimmy, which I hated. But my middle name was Janice, which is even worse, so I had to live with Kimmy until I was twelve and my dad let me change it."

"Thank God he did. No offense to your mom, but she cannot pick a name to save her life," Steve said, making Billy snort. "Billy suits you much better."

"Thanks, Pretty Boy. That really means a lot to me," Billy said, giving a shy smile before it morphed into a nervous bite of his lip. "Just you in general mean a lot to me. I care about you a lot, and I don't always know how to show it. And I know that I need to work on that, so I'm trying to, but the way I feel about you, it's like I'm a kid again and I don't know how to put it into words. But you're everything, really. You're funny and smart and hot as Hell and the best thing that's ever happened to me in my whole life and I... I just don't even know how to explain it... but I'm trying and..."

"Hey," Steve said softly, leaning up on his arm and looking Billy straight in the eye, "I get it. And I love you, too."

"Y-you do?" Billy asked, and the smile that he gave was so bright and beautiful, Steve almost felt bad for kissing it away.

"Yeah, I do," he mumbled as they parted, "Every trait, every emotion, every complexity. I love every part of you."

Billy usually wasn't as talkative as he had been tonight, but now, it seemed like the well of his words had run dry as he tried to come up with a response to what Steve had just said. Even if he had the words, he wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to string them together coherently enough to convey even half of what he wanted Steve to understand. So he didn't use words.

He sat up reached down to untwist the covers, he fluffed the pillows a little, and then he reached for Steve, gently turning him onto his side before settling down behind him. He pulled Steve to his chest and tangled their legs under the blanket, one of his arms pinned beneath Steve and holding him with a hand over his heart and the other playing with his hair and scratching at his scalp in just the way Billy knew he liked it. He wanted to tell Steve that he loved him with his whole heart, that he trusted him and that he'd never known he was even capable of feeling this strongly about anyone or anything until he'd met him, but the words wouldn't come.

As Steve took the hand that Billy had rested on his chest and intertwined their fingers, though, he knew he got the message.

[staar5384]

Our Secret Moments

levi ackerman x reader

It was unusual for Captain Levi to end training early. Typically, he would push his cadets until they were almost too weak to stand. Today was different, however, as he approached his Scouts, telling them traning was done today, and then disappearing.

Armin stroked his chin, seemingly lost in thought. Everyone was trying to figure out what on earth possessed Captain Levi to end training so abruptly. That's when Armin had an idea.

Eren shook the blond gently, "Hey, Armin, you still in there?"

He nodded, looking at his group of friends. "I think the Captain ended training to go see Y/N."

Jean snorted and crossed his arms, "Sure he did. I'm pretty sure Levi hates them."

"Definitey not. Those two are practically attached at the hip," Eren interjected. It was safe to say if anyone knew how the two veterans interacted, it would be him.

"You've gotta be joking. There's no way that cold bastard would let someone like Y/N around him that much," Connie said in disbelief.

"Eren is the only one who sees how those two are. We gotta trust his judgment."

"Why is it any of our business anyway?" Christa looked at them. "I mean, if you were them, would you want people prying into your business?"

"Because this is the kinda shit we can us against the Captain!" Jean smirked. "He will never treat us like second-rate soldiers ever again!"

Connie and Sasha both nodded in agreement. Eren gave the idea some thought; on the one hand, Christa was right. Whatever was happening between Captain Levi and Y/N was none of their business. On the other though, Jean was also right. If they had some leverage against him, maybe he would start treating them a little better.

"You guys seriously can't be considering this," Christa gave them a small frown. "I know Captain Levi is strict, but we shouldn't invade his privacy like this!"

"I say we just go see what he could be up to," Eren shrugged. "What's the worst that can happen?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Armin's suspicions were proven right as they found Levi's horse out in the middle of an open field not far from the Scout's base. Across the field, Levi and Y/N were laying in the grass.

"Let's try to get closer and hear what they're saying," Jean whispered as he began to sneak closer to the two. The others quietly followed his lead until they were at the perfect spot to sit and listen.

"You've been overworking yourself Levi," You turned over on your side, tracing lines across Levi's arms. "Don't feel bad about cutting one training short."

Levi sighed, relaxing into your gentle touch, "I just know Erwin has a deadline for when he wants those brats trained, and this break could really hurt my chances of meeting it."

"Well, this was much needed. For both of us," You gave him a smile. "Besides, we don't get much alone time anymore. It's truly a tragedy," You exhaled dramatically.

Levi snickered and rolled his eyes. "You are really something else, aren't you?" He glanced at you, an unusual softness in his eyes.

The cadets watched from afar and were practically stunned to silence. This was nothing like the Levi they knew. He was being.. nice? He was laughing, smiling. It was an extremely strange sight to see.

"Tell you what," Your voice rang through the field, which brought the hidden Scouts back to their mission at hand. "Let's dance," You threw yourself up off the ground.

"Excuse me?" Levi said in disgust. "I am not dancing."

"Oh come on it'll be fun!"

"You know what else is fun?"

"Getting up and dancing with your best friend," You said smuggly.

"No. Laying here and doing nothing sounds way more fun."

You decided to completely ignore Levi's protest and dragged him up off the ground. You pulled Levi against your chest and wrapped your arms around his waist.

"You are absolutely insufferable," Levi scoffed, a blush forming on his face. "How are we going to dance to no music?"

You didn't reply, just started humming softly. He swayed gently as he waited for Levi to give in.

Against Levi's better wishes, he joined you in the gentle sway. Once you knew he was into it, you picked up your pace. Unknown to Levi, you were actually an incredible dancer.

Levi took a glance up at you, and your eyes were fixed on the raven-haired man you held tightly in your arms. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Levi was getting more and more flustered by the second.

You shrugged, tightening your grip on Levi's waist, "You're just nice to look at," You dipped him towards the ground, your hair falling into your eyes.

The two stayed like that for a moment, both unsure of what to do now that they seemed entirely entranced by each other. Levi's heart was pounding as you held him tightly. You felt the same way, taking a glance at Levi's lips every so often. It was an insatiable urge, wanting to kiss your best friend.

On the opposite side of the field, Eren and the gang were extremely invested in this moment. "They're totally gonna kiss," Connie said quietly.

"Oh definitely. I'd be surprised if they didn't," Jean replied, his eyes fixed on the scene in front of him.

Eren was entirely stunned. "I knew the two were close, but I never thought they were in love."

"I think it's so cute!" Sasha was barely able to contain her excitement, her hands flapping back and forth in an attempt to release some of that energy.

You leaned in closer, your lips just barely touching Levi's, "You make it so hard to resist you."

Levi gulped nervously, his body now aching for you to kiss him, "Then stop resisting."

That was all the approval you needed. You crashed your lips together, kissing Levi deeply. Levi returned the kiss, his hands finding their way around your neck.

You stood Levi upright as he carefully pulled away, "I've been waiting to do that for so damn long," You chuckled quietly.

Levi was breathless and his face was a bright shade of red. "I agree," He tried to compose himself.

"I knew it!" Connie yelled, immediately realizing his mistake after.

Levi spun his head toward the group, who was poorly hidden behind a few bushes, "What the hell are you guys doing here?" He started to move towards them.

"Shit, run!" Eren called out as the group scattered in different directions.

Levi growled in annoyance, getting ready to chas after them, but you stopped him, "It's not worth it. Let's leave them be right now, yeah?"

Levi hesitated, but agreed, "I hate those kids," He leaned his head on your chest, taking a deep breath.

You laughed and hugged Levi tightly. There was something so comforting about being able to hold him like this, even given the current circumstances. "Yeah, I hate them too."

[sophieinwonderland]

genuinely wondering, why do you—someone who does not claim to have DID, OSDD(1-4) or any other dissociative disorder—speak on them so much?

you claim you're a tulpa. whatever. i'm not trying to argue the validity of that. i just want to point out that what you are saying you experience is so emphatically different from a CDD, and yet you still speak on CDDs/the possibility of an endogenic CDD experience. why is that?

forgive me if i'm wrong in what labels you claim. i skimmed your recent feed & your pinned post & didn't do a deep dive—if you are claiming DID, feel free to ignore this ask. however: all i see is you, sophie, saying that you are a tulpa. and then speaking about dissociative disorders. does that not seem a little iffy to you?

you may be plural, sure. i'm not arguing that you believe you are experiencing plurality. but why are you—someone who isn't claiming to have DID or any other CDD—discussing disordered systemhood with the level of toxicity that you're using?

idk i'm just confused. what authority do you have to tell pwDID that they need to accept anything—when you are not a pwDID or a doctor?

Because if I don't, then who will?

Actually, that question has a pretty clear answer. That being people who are less informed.

I am not an expert. I do not claim to be or present myself as such. All I am is somebody who has an interest in plurality of all sorts, a blog, a pretty good handling on how to use a search engine to find the information I'm looking for, and the free time to read academic papers and share them with others.

I don't have a dissociative disorder. I can't tell you what it's like to experience one firsthand. At the same time, I have at least taught myself enough to see that a lot of what the CDD community passes around as scientific facts are closer to urban legends. Especially among fakeclaimers and those perpetuating pluralphobia.

If I learn something in my research that can help people with dissociative disorders, then I think that I have a responsibility to share it. Regardless of whether I have that disorder or not.

Take for example the popular myth that internal communication requires years of therapy and minors won't know if they have alters.

In my research, I found an article comparing voice hearing in schizophrenia versus dissociative identity disorder, and what that study showed was that a majority of DID systems experience voice hearing before the age of 18. They might not have recognized it as DID at the time. But the symptoms were present since childhood.

That same article also talked about how other hallucinatory experiences were actually more common in dissociative identity disorder than in schizophrenia.

Studies like these aren't common knowledge. But by spreading the results around, I was able to help dispel myths about dissociative identity disorder with an actual source. Myths that have been used to fakeclaim and hurt systems.

What if I hadn't posted that? What if I knew that the study existed but chose to remain silent about it because I don't have a dissociative disorder myself and decided that I shouldn't speak on it?

Would that have been preferable?

I don't think so.

If somebody is fakeclaimed and they have read that study, they can know that the fakeclaimers are wrong. That the fakeclaimers are spreading misinformation and lies. If I said nothing, then maybe they would believe the fakeclaimers, and when they encountered those lies, it would send them into a derealization spiral, causing them to question their own system.

That's something that would have been preventable had I chosen to speak out about what I knew.

Maybe I'm not a psychologist or a psychiatrist. But the actual psychologists and psychiatrists don't really have the time to be spreading correct information to the public because they are actually doing the research and helping patients directly.

And in the absence of actual psychologists and psychiatrists who could the spread correct and accurate information, we have armchair experts who have never read a single study in their life.

Or, in the case of dissociative-misinfo... Have read exactly one study in their life, which they use to fakeclaim systems and spread the myth of this vast number of people who are faking dissociative identity disorder. While also making just the most ridiculous claims, like saying that people with OSDD are not systems.

And in the absence of truth, more people will believe the lies and spread them.

Finally, you mentioned endogenic CDDs.

To me, this is as much about encouraging a culture of questioning as it is about the CDDs specifically.

Most doctors will never say it's impossible to have a CDD without having trauma. They will say that a CDD is heavily associated with trauma. They will say that it is virtually always caused by trauma. They will use a lot of words while acknowledging that they can't know for certain if this is caused by trauma 100% of the time. Because they can't know that. Because actual scientists are aware that there are limitations on what they can study and what they can prove.

Upwards of 90% of DID cases are associated with trauma.

That's a lot. That's more than most other disorders. And it is definitely possible that the remaining percentage are just cases where people have forgotten their trauma. That's absolutely a valid position.

At least... Until you start treating that as objective fact.

Sometimes in life, there just isn't going to be an answer where you know for certain. There is just no way to confirm for a fact that the cases of DID where trauma isn't reported is actually because the trauma is forgotten as opposed to not being there at all.

Science isn't religion. It's not dogma. And those that treat it as such are dangerous. Those who will hear a statement about how dissociative identity disorder is currently understood as a post-traumatic response and interpret that as saying that it is 100% scientifically impossible for somebody to have a dissociative disorder without trauma are of deep concern to me.

Not just because of how they view the science on dissociative disorders, but how they view science in general. If there's one thing that I think that people need to take away from this blog, it's that science is ever-changing. Our understanding of the world around us is going to be different in a decade than it is today.

When my host was a child, Pluto was a planet and velociraptors didn't have feathers.

You have to be open to the fact that nothing about our understanding of science is set in stone. This is a hill that I will gladly die on.

And I think it's equally important to think critically about how much of what we believe has actually been tested. Because some things scientists believe haven't been.

I mentioned the association between DID and trauma, but let me also mention that there are no similar studies with Partial DID. It's too new of a diagnosis. There have also been no studies into the trauma association of OSDD-1 without amnesia to see if the trauma association would be just as high as DID.

Without that critical research, it's possible that the association is primarily related to DID's amnesia symptom, and CDDs without amnesia wouldn't be as heavily associated with trauma.

It's currently an assumption that OSDD-1 without amnesia would be just as associated with trauma, but that assumption hasn't been tested.

And I think it's important to drive home that people need to be really careful about trusting assumptions like this when the studies haven't actually been conducted.

This is, again, not just about CDDs. It's about how we, as a culture, view science as a whole. It's about fostering open-mindedness rather than accepting our current understanding of things as dogma set in stone.

[wildflower-otome]

[Translation] Clover no Kuni no Alice ~Promise Red~ Light Novel - Chapter 7

Writer: Sana Shirakawa Artist: 文月ナナ

ACT 7 - Red eyes make a binding promise

This place was always coloured a vivid red.

From the furniture down to the flowers blooming in the garden, it was all a magnificent red. The first time she had come to the Castle, it was so striking she had found it overwhelming to look at, but had now grown completely used to it.

‘Miss, what would this one be?’

‘That one is…..my spare clothes, I think. Then, would I be able to get you to place it near that closet? I'll put them away later.’

‘And what about this one?’

‘Ah, those are some books I bought. I'll put them away on the shelf later too, so for now please put them on the table.’

The maids who were bringing her luggage into various spots in the room happily replied with an, ‘Understood.’ Even though the task had nothing to do with the upkeep of the Castle, not a single one looking as if they found the work disagreeable, they were helping Alice out.

The only person looking dissatisfied was the White Rabbit whom she had forbidden from helping just before.

‘Alice, why won't you let me help you? Even without using these faceless, I would have gladly assisted you.’

‘.....There's no way I'd borrow the help of someone who was trying to throw away my things, on top of skipping out on their own job, is there? Sure you shouldn't be getting back to work now, “Lord” White?’

‘Alice-, please don't say such cold things-’

Ignoring his pleading sounding voice, Alice stuck out her tongue at him a little.

Ten time periods had already passed since the end of the Assembly. Having returned to Heart Castle from Clover Tower, it had been the noon time period just before that the room she had been staying in temporarily had been officially allotted to Alice as her bedroom.

Peter had immediately attempted to arrange it with lavish furniture, and suggested some large scale remodelling, but she had said no to both. That said, if she was going to be staying in this room from now on, it was only the truth that she'd grown to miss the daily essentials she had become used to using.

‘All the same…..I probably can't go get my things from Hatter Mansion, can I.’

Still, she didn't really want to buy everything from scratch all over again. It would be a waste. She wasn't sure what to do.

Just as she was thinking that, Alice's belongings from Hatter Mansion had arrived.

Despite the items being addressed to Alice, the sender had still been Blood. Just as they had finally been about to get through to her after being thoroughly checked countless times, this Prime Minister had ordered them destroyed.

It had been almost miraculous timing that Alice had happened on the scene just as they were about to be thrown out.

She might also have heard it from a little bug as well.

‘They are certainly your belongings, but I was thinking of buying you the same ones brand new. After all, surely you must dislike using things that bunch at Hatter Mansion touched, all covered in germs! Right, Alice?’

‘Don't put me in the same category as you.’

The germaphobic Prime Minister was insistent, but Alice was not the kind of person to agree with him.

She had borrowed the help of the maids to carry them to the place that was now her room, and that was how they had arrived at the current situation.

‘Miss…..these ones seem a little different from the rest, what should we do with them?’

‘Huh? I wonder what they are, I don't think I've seen them before either….’

An object wrapped in paper. From the looks of things, it had been wrapped hastily, but it was something Alice didn't remember seeing before. As she tried holding it in her hands, it wasn't as heavy as it had looked.

It appeared to be the last of the luggage, so after she had thanked them, the maids left the room. After seeing them off, Alice opened the package.

‘Alice, please don't ignore me.’

Raising his voice pitifully, the White Rabbit also peered at the item from beside her.

Tearing off the tape that had been stuck here and there, as she  opened it up—there was something unexpected inside.

‘Ah!’

A realistic looking doll that was difficult to call cute, an assortment of orange-coloured cookies, and a thick leather bound book.

‘This must be from Dee and Dum…..somehow or other, it does look like one of their “stress dummies” after all.’

The roughly made doll had something of the air of the ones the twins often brought to the bath to break. The small note written in a flowing cursive attached to it that said, “Whether you're feeling stressed enough that this doll won't be able to help or not, we'll play with you anytime” was very like them.

The case containing the orange-coloured cookies had the words, “I'll keep on looking for stores with tasty looking stuff” energetically scrawled into it. Even if there had been no message, just from the colour she would have been able to tell whom it had been from straight away.

‘That's so like Elliot…’

She could imagine so clearly even the look on his face that he had while choosing amongst his favourite foods she began to smile despite herself.

And then, her hand touched the final item.

‘..........’

A title embossed in gold on a leather cover. It wasn't a book she was familiar with, but she didn't even need to open it to know who it was from.

As she took it into her hands and turned the pages, there was a small bookmark wedged inside. It was a stylish looking item, of a pale red colour, with a cut out in the shape of a rose. The message attached to the bookmark was also written in familiar handwriting.

—Whenever you want to read the next one, come over at anytime—

‘.....I wonder if they're thinking I'm the type to keep coming back home.’

All the same, it made her happy, and she was unable to help laughing a little.

Even if they were apart, even if they didn't live in the same place, it made her happy that her bond with them wouldn't disappear.

‘Alice.’

‘Ah, Peter. Looks like these are presents from everyone-…..Hey, what's wrong?’

Seeing the White Rabbit look so obviously discontent, the girl tilted her head quizzically.

On the other hand, seeing Alice look so puzzled, Peter let out a sigh.

‘Why are you so happy about presents from the likes of them-? Even though if you wanted the same thing, I would give it to you…..this is too cruel-’

‘Um…..the reason presents make people happy isn't just to do with the thing itself, you know?’

With what intention the other person gave it to you, understanding how they’d felt when they'd chosen it. It was because you knew that they had been thinking of you, that the giving itself brought one joy.

Still, apparently not understanding the delicacy of such emotions the White Rabbit was muttering, ‘As I thought, I should have disposed of them while you weren't looking.’

‘Just so you know, it would be meaningless for you to copy everyone and give me the same thing, Peter.’

‘Wha-! H-How did you know that was what I was thinking…!?’

‘.....So that was what you were going to do.’

She had thought that it couldn't be, but apparently it had been the right decision to warn him in advance. Normally she didn't understand what this Rabbit was thinking, but it was only in times like this she could read his thoughts.

Smiling wryly at the red eyes as they looked at the book Alice was holding with strong distaste, after temporarily putting it down on the table, she gently stretched her hands out to the White Rabbit's cheeks.

‘Peter.’

‘Alice?’

And then, standing on tiptoe—she lightly pressed her lips against his.

She laughed at the White Rabbit, whose eyes were widened with surprise.

‘Peter…..aren’t you happy to get a kiss from me? Would you have preferred a kiss from someone else?’

‘'No-, of course not-! If another person did the same thing, I would shoot them-’

For the time being choosing to ignore this disquieting remark, Alice continued to smile broadly.

This Rabbit didn't understand things unless they were said to him so directly there was no room for misunderstandings. That was something she knew well from all the time she had spent with him up until now.

‘Right? Then give me something I'd be happy to get from you, Peter. Something I'd be happy to get only from you, and no one else…..alright?’

‘Alice.’

Alice had been feeling relieved seeing the change in the slightly reddened face of the White Rabbit, but that was only for an instant.

Taking hold of the hands she had touching his face, Peter spoke, sounding as if he were getting more and more worked up.

‘In other words, you want me…..isn't that right, Alice! A gift that only I can give you, that has to be what you mean!’

‘Wha-.....Peter, wait a moment-.....!!’

It appeared her voice of protest hadn't reached the white long ears. No, even if it had, perhaps its meaning not getting through to him, Alice was all of a sudden picked up and carried over to the bed.

‘Alice, Alice…..Ah, I love you-’

‘Mnn-!’

She tried to push Peter away as he hugged her as if overcome with emotion, kissing her again and again, but in an instant he'd closed the distance between them, and she lost any place to run.

‘I'm so happy having you right here with me, I might just go mad!’

Ecstatically, as if in a rapture.

When she saw him smiling as if completely content—she was unable to push back all that much.

The game that had been conducted at the final Assembly. After putting his gun away, the White Rabbit had hugged Alice and said to her-

"I had believed that you would win, but…..even if you hadn't, I never could have given you to the Hatter. Alice, no matter what the result was, I would stay with you even if it meant breaking the rules."

The rules of this world were a restriction that Alice the Outsider couldn't comprehend. The penalties for breaking them, and how difficult it was to do so, were things she was unable to imagine either.

‘Alice, I love you. I—want to stay like this with you always, forever.’

Hands that stroked her hair. Lips that touched her skin. Heat that she could directly feel near.

Alice felt as if she were melting into all of it yet again.

‘Please…..stay with me forever. Let me feel you closer than anyone, Alice.’

—Since meeting you, even in the midst of his worries…..he is growing closer to happiness—

The one who had told her that was the dream demon who appeared in her dreams.

She thought that just as he had said, Peter had changed. The way Peter was right now was completely different to the Peter that had been satisfied just being together, not wanting anything more than that.

She was wanted. She was desired.

This too pure Rabbit needed no one else but Alice.

‘Peter.’

Is it because I'm needed?

Because I'm necessary to him?

Because he wants me?

Is that why, we're together?

She couldn't say without a doubt that that wasn't the case.

Because unlike Peter, Alice had more than one thing that was important to her.

But even so, she wanted to be with him. Right now she strongly wished to be by the side of this too pure being.

‘.....You haven't forgotten the promise you made me just before, have you?’

She wanted to be the only one that these white hands and red eyes looked for.

‘Yes, I remember—only you, you are the only thing that makes me happy. I don't want to touch anyone but you.’

Neither body nor heart.

The White Rabbit who hadn't wanted to touch anyone.

She wanted that hand to touch even the pounding of her heart coming through her skin. Drowning in those emotions, Alice was becoming pure white.

Although she knew she couldn't become as pure a white as him, she felt as if she could become just a little white.

Alice, who had nothing pure about her, and a Rabbit that was so pure he couldn't be touched.

Even though the only thing they had in common was their weakness.

'Is it alright that I dirty you...when I touch you?’

If she were to touch him, he would be tainted. Just like leaving footprints in freshly fallen snow, a feeling of elation, and a slight sense of guilt.

Each time she touched Peter, Alice always felt those two extremities of emotion.

‘You aren't dirty at all. Rather, I am the one who is tainting you.’

His lips lightly touched her. Brushing her cheek, her jaw, tracing down her neck.

‘I only drown in you. I can't see anyone, or anything, but you.’

Ah—if only she could do the same someday.

She wondered if the day would come when she only looked at these beautiful red eyes, and nothing else.

Although it seemed to be quite a simple thing, at the same time it would be more difficult than anything.

‘Peter.’

‘Yes.’

‘Don't ever…..let me go.’

—Just you, stay at my side forever—

As Alice said that to him, unable to completely convey everything she truly felt, the White Rabbit smiled as if happy.

‘Of course. Then Alice, please always stay in a place where my hands can reach you.’

Beautiful eyes that looked like blood, like roses.

Right now they were filled with joy and happiness.

Even though the string of fate couldn't be seen on either of their two little fingers.

The vivid gaze made her a red promise, for sure.

[half-dead-writer]

At first it was supposed to be a smut, but me being me, I had to come up with some ''plot'' beforehand, so I decided to cut it into two parts, for those who don't wanna read the NSFW portion of the fic. First time writing comfort woo picking people up is my love language

I Do Adore (1/2)

Lately, you've been feeling pretty dysphoric. Fortunately, your lovely boyfriend is here to make you feel better.

character: Matthew Patel (Scott Pilgrim Takes Off)

words: ~1,1k

reader: transmasc (no surgeries or HRT)

warnings: in this part, none! pure comfort

𝔯𝔲𝔩𝔢𝔰 + 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 / 𝔖𝔠𝔬𝔱𝔱 𝔓𝔦𝔩𝔤𝔯𝔦𝔪 𝔗𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔰 𝔒𝔣𝔣 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱

Matthew noticed you didn't seem like your usual self these past few days. Dysphoria caught up to you at the most random time, causing you to feel a bit... bland. You didn't want to make a big deal out of it, knowing it's not really something you can deal with differently other than just ignoring the issue all together. However, he insisted asking you about it, he couldn't ignore you just being sad for apparently no reason?? There had to be something going on. After a few questions, you finally mildly admitted what's been bugging you.

"...What?" He tilted his head, causing you to do the same.

"Y/N," he started, approaching you closer to firmly place his hands on your shoulders, "you're like, the most manly person I know."

You rolled your eyes, halfly disbelieving your boyfriend's words, but you knew he meant well.

"Don't roll your eyes at me!" He threatened, but there was no real bite behind it. He let go off your shoulders to poke your chest as if to emphasize his point. "You know it's true!"

"If only I had the money to get rid of my tits and get a better voice, maybe." You shrugged, not really up for arguing, yet still providing valid - in your opinion - points.

"So you think getting those would make you a 'real man'?" He questioned.

"I mean- yeah?" You said, as if it was obvious knowledge.

He scoffed, "well, you're simply wrong." He was adamant about his opinion, causing your brow to go up, mildly amused at his determination. "Just because someone was born with a dick and a lower voice doesn't mean they're better than you."

"Well, people don't immediately go 'excuse me, sir?' when they see me." You voiced some of the things your mind told you these past days. He took a second to think over his response.

"I will bet you, there's a lot of men who got mistaken for a girl. But- your outward looks shouldn't matter! It's what's inside that matters." He said, upturning his arms and parting hands away from each other in a dramatic gesture. You probably heard it a lot of times, so he didn't wanna bore you with his preaching, trying to balance between being serious and lighthearted with the topic, respectfully.

You sighed, "I know. I'm just being whiny," you admitted, starting to feel a burden. Why did such a silly problem get to you so much?

"You're not whiny," he continued, "I may not truly get how you feel, but you're still really strong for being yourself, even if it's hard for some folks to take you seriously. Take it from a theater major, not many people respect it." He muttered, only slightly salty about it.

His quirk of inserting the info about him being a theater kid into every conversation would probably make any other person annoyed, but he was your boyfriend, and you were used to his typical way of being. You knew he meant well, even if his passion for theater might have been shining too much.

A small smile dared to invade your lips, somehow Matthew could get you to lighten up even if he didn't do much to achieve it. "Alright. If you say so."

"I do, and I mean it." He approached closer to embrace your waist, a soft smirk occupied his expression. He glanced over your figure, having to raise his head just slightly to look you in the eyes. "Also, you're like way taller than me, and if that ain't a manly attribute-"

No matter if Matthew exaggerated the height difference or not, his way of trying to make you feel better worked, gaining a small chuckle out of you. He wasn't usually the one to put himself below others (especially if it came to his height, which wasn't really something he paid much attention to) but if that meant he got to see you smile, it was worth it.

"I'm not that tall, you're just conveniently compact." You responded with a more lighthearted disposition. He rolled his eyes at you.

"Okay, tower-boy." He quipped back, forcing an amused exhale from you.

The conversation turning silly changed your demeanor, and instead of wallowing in your previous issue, you decided to chase the playful mood. You got your boyfriend to keep you out of feeling miserable, and you were gonna use that privilege.

He watched as you bent closer to him, sneakily wrapping your arms around his back to pick him off the ground. His voice raised an octave at the sudden feeling of his feet dangling a few inches above the floor. "HEY!"

"Hold on to me," You instructed with a cheeky grin. He was light enough for you to adjust your grip, gently bumping him up into the air while intertwining your hands under his butt to support his weight. His legs hugged your waist, his arms entangled into your neck as he held you for dear life.

He wriggled just a little to get into a better position, yet made no attempt to break free. "When I said you're tall, it wasn't an invitation to manhandle me!" He huffed, only slightly flustered.

You took a step forward, careful not to lose balance and fall over while holding your man.

"Where are you going now?" He briefly glanced over to check where you're headed.

"We're going to cuddle." You casually stated, making your way to the bedroom. It didn't take you long to arrive at your destination, gently placing you both on the bed. You laid on your back, shuffling Matthew to stay on you.

He feigned an offended scoff, shaking his head. "Such a brute. You're dealing with A-list actor here!" He complained, but you knew he didn't mind as much as he yapped about it.

You relaxed, hanging your hands on his back. He put on a pouty expression, yet still rested his chin on your chest. Your fingers reached to play with his hair, an action you always found quite comforting - like a kitty you could pet. He tilted his head to make himself even more comfortable, now leaning his cheek on you.

"Told you, you're conveniently compact," you teased, a lazy smile resided on your face.

He raised his brow and pursed his lips with a distinctly unimpressed expression, only further fueling your opinion of him pretending to be annoyed.

"Glad to see you in a better mood. I change my statement, you're a brat, not a brute." He commented, softening his features after a while. He couldn't fake being mad at you for long.