#you prefer to have someone using the wrong terms but being supportive over someone using the right terms and being bigoted

[ohayouototta]

I listened to auntie diaries and cried but I'm not trans I swear it's just really good music

[hyperlexichypatia]

In general I think "Who is allowed to reclaim what slurs" is among the most pointless, niche, irrelevant debates to take up oxygen in progressive spaces, especially when the "slur" is actually a community-preferred alternative to pathologizing language (I don't want to enforce "Only fat people can say 'fat'" or "Only mad people can say 'mad'"; I want thin neurotypicals to stop calling us "obese" and "suffering from mental disorders").

I used to care about this. I used to be strongly of the opinion that it's only okay to use "as reclamation" a slur if you, yourself, are actually the category of person being described, not just someone "mistaken for" or "called" that.

The main reason I felt that way was because of my deep revulsion of non-intellectually-disabled neurodivergent people using the R word, and shielding themselves with "But I'm dyslexic/autistic/whatever, and bullies called me that, so I'm allowed to use it!"

And I used to actually care about arguing "No, just because bullies called you that doesn't mean you actively live under the structural oppression of people labelled intellectually disabled," which is true, just as it's also true that a not-queer-at-all cishet guy who got bullied and called queerphobic slurs in high school because he wore a pink t-shirt one day isn't actually gay and doesn't actually experience any structural queerphobia once he leaves high school.

But that's not really the problem.

The problem is that the debate is being framed around "Who counts as what?" or "Who is allowed to say what?" rather than "What are they saying?"

The problem isn't whether any given person "can" "reclaim" a slur, it's that people use their identities and positionality as a shield to argue for the oppression of other people.

That non-intellectually-disabled neurodivergent person, are they saying "I was bullied for being different, so I support and empathize with anyone who is oppressed for how their mind works"? Or are they saying "I'm The Relevant Positionality too, so I'm ALLOWED to say that Those Other Ones shouldn't have rights"?

Particularly in queer spaces, there is such an emphasis on positionality and a hierarchy of oppression and a stigma on comparing experiences or equating experiences, and it's all centered around who can use what terms, or "slurs," even though the problem is that all terminology used to describe queer people is a slur, because we live in a queerphobic society that uses queerness as an insult (begging people to learn about the euphemism treadmill).

The more important question than "Is this person the right kind of queer to be allowed to say this?" is "Are they speaking in favor of queer rights or against queer rights?"

Because some of y'all, I swear, if a bi lesbian said "As a lesbian, I think lesbians should be hunted for sport" would spend the next 6 months debating whether a bi lesbian counts, and if a straight man said "I'm a straight man, but I think hunting lesbians for sport is wrong," y'all would admonish him for speaking over lesbians.

[psychologicalwarclaire]

Ninjago Team Medic Headcanons

Wu gave them all basic first aid training, and later taught them some more advanced techniques, but I think everyone has their own specialties.

Kai - Kai treats the serious injuries. He’s the only one who can cauterize wounds, if needed. But other times, he can splint broken or sprained limbs with ease. Kai is the closest thing the ninja have to an official medic. His protectiveness led to many sleepless nights watching videos ranging from treating muscle soreness, to burns, to CPR, to live surgeries. 

Jay - Good at treating injuries during missions, but is prone to… unorthodox methods. If you need something dealt with fast, he is the guy. Accidents in the junkyard and his time on the Misfortune’s Keep taught him how to quickly patch up anything out of almost any material. His methods of sloppy stitches, makeshift bandaging, or increasingly strange ways to prevent infections are temporary solutions, but they’ll keep you alive long enough to get real help. He’s always got fun bandaids stashed somewhere. But in terms of moral support, he’s your guy. Jay is a master of distraction, keeping the others either chuckling or groaning with his jokes while he or someone else works. When he gets very stressed, however, he’ll be dead silent as he treats the wound, looking on with a clenched jaw.

Nya - Nya is the best of everyone at traditional first aid. Before she was a ninja, she did a lot of the patching up after missions, so she’s got lots of experience. Nya is also so good at treating burns that it’s like her second elemental power; back in the day, her inexperienced brother had many blacksmithing accidents in the forge. It’s been established that she can’t access water inside of people’s bodies (cough, water in Jay’s lungs, cough), but if the blood is outside of you… It’s not quite bloodbending, but she can keep her team from bleeding out. She is also helpful during times of rest and recovery, keeping everyone drinking plenty of fluids and threatening them to take it easy. She’s an expert in heatstroke and dehydration because her stupid ninja forget to drink water on a daily basis. 

Cole - Cole’s big hands and strength make it difficult for him to treat delicate injuries like stitching someone up, but if you need a joint popped back into place or a broken bone set, he is absolutely your guy. Most of what Cole provides to his team’s wellbeing is emotional. He gives the best hugs. Kai and Jay utilize his calming presence when dealing with more… tricky wounds. Also: as mud is nature’s sunblock, he’s always happy to provide some to prevent his team from getting burned when they inevitably forget sunblock. 

Lloyd - Lloyd still believes in the magic power of bandages. For himself, and for others. Over the years he’s gotten better at recognizing when to use them and when more serious medical attention is required, but he’d still prefer not to have to deal with his injured team. In a situation where someone gets badly injured, usually Lloyd has many different problems to deal with and the other ninja are happy to take things off his plate instead of making him deal with a downed teammate. When it is up to him, he’s no medical expert by any means, but he’ll try his best. Occasionally, he’ll have to use his powers to combat some sort of magical ailment. 

Zane - Do NOT try and get Zane’s help with an injury. You think his ability to access any and all medical knowledge would be useful? WRONG. The guy sees one of his friends injured and practically shuts down. Dislocated joints? Broken bones? Heck no, he needs to leave the room. Catches a glimpse of blood? He is gone. Poor guy once almost started crying when Lloyd got a bloody nose. The whole situation is a mix of him hating to see his loved ones injured, and also being queasy over blood because he doesn’t have any. All those body parts that he doesn’t have are GROSS. The only thing he’s able to help with is diagnosing illnesses and occasionally pointing out concussions. Even then, it gets out of hand (“You have a mild cough? MY SOURCES SAY YOU HAVE FIVE DAYS TO LIVE.”) After treatment, however, he’s always ready to provide an instant ice pack and physical therapy. 

Pixal - Pixal is eager to help. Do not let her help. Her solution to almost everything-- whether it be a skinned knee or fractured wrist-- is amputation. She has spent years building so many backup prosthetics and just wants to be useful (“please let me implement my prosthetics, Kai, please! Lloyd would look so good with a robot arm!’). She knows hundreds of different options but she feels more comfortable working on machines, so what’s her solution? Cut it off, install a machine. That she can work with. Luckily, the ninja deal with both of the nindroids by having Zane keep her away, successfully distracting both of them from bloody situations. 

[roronoagem]

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐀𝐒 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐈𝐃.

characters: strawhats + portgas d. ace + trafalgar d. water law

content warning: genderfluid reader (any prns), general fluff + not proofread.

a/n: hello !! this is very self indulgent, as i am genderfluid myself lol. i thought why not sharing as someone else might find comfort in this or anything, so yeah this is why we’re here — not one of my best works ngl, but as i said i mainly wrote this for myself sooo. i hope you’ll enjoy it & that you guys are having a good day <3

𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅𝐘.

would tilt his head to the side and try to understand.

“you change name?”

“nope, i just use any pronouns.”

“ooh! alright. i’ll try it right now!”

“guys! [y/n] said to use all pronouns, they… look cool,” he tries, frowning a little. “and he’s the best! she’s smart,” he added then, being sure to use all of them.

is actually very attentive about it and reminds the others to use them all if they keep using the same ones.

𝐙𝐎𝐑𝐎.

“okay. like he and she together in a phrase?”

you nod and watch him thinking about something.

“[y/n] is smart and i like his fighting style and… her face is cute?” he tilts his head to the side, waiting for your response.

“you can use they too, like… they are cute,” you suggest, smiling at him for the effort. “right, my bad darling.”

zoro is very good at switching pronouns and seems to do it without thinking >_<

𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐉𝐈.

“whatever my sweet darling desires! i’m gonna make him all their favourite dishes and kiss her lips and–”

you giggle and interrupt him, or else he would just keep going.

reminds the rest of the crew about changing pronouns frequently when talking about you, he wants you to feel comfortable and accepted and most importantly, yourself.

this is your family, after all.

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈.

she catches on pretty easily.

uses all of your preferred pronouns, even asks you if you prefer he or she or they for the day.

i see nami getting paid by whoever keeps using the same pronouns over and over again as a punishment or sum.

she’s no joke.

𝐔𝐒𝐎𝐏𝐏.

super supportive !!

you know what, i think usopp would genuinely buy a pin with the genderfluid flag on it and put it on his clothes, stating proudly that his darling is genderfluid.

has not trouble using any pronouns in the same sentence.

if he knows you feel like using specific pronouns for the day, he goes on correcting whoever is talking using the wrong pronouns.

𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐑.

would genuinely ask more about the genderfluid stuff.

because he wants to learn, and be as supportive as possible.

“i’ll try my best and use them all!”

he, in fact, did use all the pronouns.

jokes aside, he constantly reminds the crew that you use all pronouns — they’re well aware, but still give chopper the satisfaction, you know?

𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐍.

“oh, i’ve heard about genderfluid people.”

robin makes sure to ask you what pronouns you prefer to use from time to time.

she wants you to feel accepted and comfortable, that’s the least she can do.

avoids gendered terms if you’re more comfortable this way.

would kindly reminds to use all pronouns.

( alr, this ^ is referred to whoever is not part of the crew )

𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐘.

“my [y/n] is super! they’re super! he’s super! she’s super!!”

yeah he uses them all the time.

but you can say if you prefer one in particular, don’t worry.

he would inform the others, pretty loudly.

i believe franky would be careful to use non-gendered terms, just like robin.

𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐊.

is a bit confused, not gonna lie.

but he’s keen to listen and learn !

uses different pronouns easily, and asks if he’s doing alright and if you’re comfortable.

i think he would avoid gendered terms too? idk . .

𝐀𝐂𝐄.

“that’s amazing! . . what does it mean?”

you have to explain better, but ace is smart he catches on quickly and goes on trying to use all the pronouns in one sentence.

reminds the whole crew that you’re genderfluid and that they should use any pronouns with you.

i genuinely think he would stick to non-gendered terms too, but would use boyfriend and girlfriend or whatever too if you want. ( hope that makes sense lol )

𝐋𝐀𝐖.

would listen seriously as you explain and come out.

“do you want me to avoid gendered terms? i can tell the others to do the same if you’re more comfortable.”

genuinely wants to create an accepting and comfortable environment for you to be yourself *cries*.

pss pss . . . law would buy a genderfluid pin too — and he has the audacity to think you wouldn’t notice.

would kindly remind the others to use all pronouns.

( this one ^, in fact, works for the crew too /hj )

[sapphic-sex-ed]

i looked on your abuse tag for a while and didn’t see that you answered this but if i’m wrong lmk. any tips on how to pull a friend out of an abusive relationship? i know i can’t control her but she asked me to tell her when her relationship starts to look like what mine did and when i told her she didn’t listen and now she’s getting back with the same person after 3 days. i know i’m not supposed to control her but i don’t know what to do besides an ultimatum at this point. hoping someone else has better advice before i do that.

Thank you for asking this highly relevant question. I'm sorry your friend is in a bad relationship and I'm sorry you have been through this as well - abuse is too common and that's why I'm glad you asked. We all need this information.

Most people's first instinct when their loved one seems to be in an unhealthy relationship is to raise the question with them. How people do this differs, and I would always opt for what's called curious exploration (open questions about the relationship and reflections of the emotions your loved one expresses) over confrontation, as the latter seldom is productive. In your case, anon, you raised it as agreed upon beforehand but your friend wasn't receptive to your thoughts. This, too, is common.

In my experience with clients in a abusive relationships, there is a lot of shame tied up into being a "victim", one of several reasons "survivor" is a preferred term. To imply or explicitly state that their relationship seems abusive can in instances when they're not ready to hear that yet lead to resistance and a deeper commitment to said relationship. The genuine concern for their safety is taken as criticism of themselves and their own person, usually as there probably exists some doubts and insecurities already. When we are already insecure we tend to become more protective of whatever it is we are insecure about. For this reason I would stray from words such as 'abuse' or even 'unhealthy'. Not to say that labeling abuse as abuse cannot be a relief to some - when they are ready for it it can be very cathartic for somebody else to see and acknowledge their experiences as abuse - but they need to be further along in their acceptance and insight for that to work.

As people who care about them, it can be difficult to see a loved one stay with or go back to an abusive partner. We want them to be safe and happy and to us it seems obvious that the source of their misery is the abusive partner. But abusive relationships aren't always all bad all the time. That's how we get stuck. It's like a slot machine. It can be helpful for some to speak about their relationships like a behavioral addiction - the mechanisms are similar or the same. That's what the actual definition of love-bombing is, btw. The increase in loving behaviors by an abuser right before or right after a bad abusive episode meant to keep the victim in the relationship. Because of this pattern - tension, incident, reconciliation (honeymoon phase or love-bombing), calm - it can be difficult for the person being abused to see the abuse, as it's not all bad all the time. That hope that the love-bombing or calm phases will prevail is what is so addictive about the abusive relationship. "This time maybe it will work out".

For us who see the abuse, we want to support our loved one, and the first instinct if usually to get them to leave. As discussed, that's not an easy task. It's common for abused partners (speaking explicitly about IPV, but any type of domestic violence regardless of relationship works similarly, although leaving may look different when the abuser is a relative) to leave the abuser between 3 to 11 times before they leave for good. Some never leave. What abuse does, at its core, is strip us of agency and dignity. We become dependent and degraded. If somebody else then comes along, no matter how good their intentions, and tells us that we must leave that too is stripping of agency and will be met with resistance. The change needs to come from within the abused person themselves.

Confrontation creates tension both within you as a friend and within the loved one you're trying to help, and can lead you to drift apart, especially if the abused feel like you are judgemental of their relationship. We don't want this to happen. Isolation is one of the main tools an abuses utilizes, consciously or not (because while some people are just cruel and consciously abuse others, a lot of the time the abuser is only half-way aware of what they are doing), to keep their victim in the relationship. Instead, what we want to do is offer support on the abused person's terms. Don't try to persuade them to leave. Instead offer support like a place to stay if they need it. Or a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. Just doing friendship things and preventing isolation. What somebody needs will be based on their relationship and other social and psychological factors. If the abuse is physical they may need somebody who can drive them to the ER. Or if the abuse is more psychological (not mutually exclusive obviously) they may need somebody they can call at any hour to cry. Economical abused people may need someone who can open an account for them to stash away money or such. Ask your friend what they need if they are open to that. Or if you notice something they might need help with if you can do that for them. If they are very downtrodden and lack the ability to decide if they want help with X thing, you can speak in statements like "I will do X thing for you when you need me to".

When it comes to talking about the relationship, I use a lot of elements om motivational interviewing (MI) when I meet people in abusive relationships. You're not a therapist or a counselor, you're a friend, but the core tenets of MI are based in compassion and evoking change through that. To use skills like active listening, simple and complex emotional reflections, and open questions to bring to surface the person's own reasoning are not outside the scope of a layperson. To hear yourself say something aloud often makes it easier for us to hear the flaws in our own reasoning because now it's not just an internal thought, now we hear it as others do, and that is what using MI elements does. Again, you're not a therapist, but to use active listening skills is good in any private relationship.

I hope this was helpful. I also invite followers to share their tips from experience both as survivor and friend of survivors.

-mod liz

[plazmafields]

Some thoughts about Kerry:

Spoilers ahead, needless to say.

1)

I saw a video comparing the two versions if Chippin' In (Kerry's vs. Johnny's) where someone in the comments suggested the reason Kerry leaned more mainstream rock is because he only wanted to make music for money. I completely disagree with this and here's why:

User Friendly was the last song Kerry put out before deciding he wasn't going to perform live/tour anymore and went into a deep depression. Looking up the lyrics, you can see he was becoming very distressed with the lack of control he had over his career, and the things he says in the song sound like a cry for help that wasn't received by listeners the way he had hoped. We never hear his version of the song, and I believe that is intentional. Vapid, loud, chaotic, almost over-stimulating laser-pop is such a huge juxtaposition to the lyrics, and yet it's the only version we get to hear. Clearly User Friendly meant a lot to him or I don't think he would have reacted the way he did; combined with the cover being done by a pop group groomed by the music industry to sell as many albums as possible, it all went against Kerry's original intent with the song. Then there's the story of how he wrote Bleed the Beat: he was working his ass off for people he couldn't stand and that song was his outlet during that time. He'd play until his fingers bled just to get his frustrations out. Music is his medium for release, just like it was for Johnny.

In Johnny's version of Chippin' In, the phrase "chipping in" has two meanings: getting your first implants, and, the same as our universe, helping out. Johnny's song uses both meanings interchangeably during the choruses, the verse before it dictating which definition is being used. Johnny's arm is (from what I can tell looking at the design) military issue. The song is both about the corpo military forcing him to get an implant, and also about believing he was doing the right thing when he joined by "helping out" the armed forces. Since, in this universe, militaries are owned and/or sponsored by corporations, Johnny views corporate jobs and military service to be the same level of morally wrong (The Ballad of Buck Ravers attests to this).

In terms of how the two songs compare, obviously Kerry's version of Chippin' In is meant to have more wide appeal. Not only are the lyrics more tame, mostly just talking about the implants themselves and only having one verse that even mentions anything "political", but I believe Kerry understood that the best way to get his music to the most listeners was to go for a more mainstream sound and universally relatable lyrics, so he toned it down. Everyone hates corpos, sure, but not everyone wants to bomb Araska HQ. This is probably a stretch, but we can see from the flashbacks that Kerry didn't have any implants during his time in Samurai, so maybe Johnny was like super opposed to implants after having one forced upon him, and Kerry's version of the song is kind of saying "hey if you want implants get implants, they make you look cool don't feel bad about it."

2)

I do support the idea that Kerry should have been bisexual like in the source material. I absolutely get that bi erasure is a big problem, ESPECIALLY with male characters. However, I respect that in the game you can only romance him with a masc V; I'm not going to mod him to he bi, I'm not gonna ship him with women. I see it the same way I see Cullen from DAI: he is canonically bisexual, just not attracted to my male Inquisitor (in Kerry's case, fem V). Maybe Kerry had such a traumatic divorce from his ex-wife that women just kinda scare him right now. We can see high heels and bras and blush littering his house, so we can assume that at the very least women are still getting naked for some reason or another at his parties. Maybe he prefers men romantically, or maybe he's just not ready to date women again, and we as players should respect that just like we would a real person.

3)

Kerry was 100% going to kill himself when you show up to his house. There are shards advertising robotic security systems in numerous places around his house (meaning he fired his human body guards), shards with negative reviews of his last album, there is only one camera and it is by the front gate (none inside the house), he gave his cleaner and cook "the day off" that very day, you see in emails that his ex-wife is giving him the option of all or nothing with custody (you take the kids or you don't get to see them), and he isn't enjoying making music anymore, his one passion in life. He had a gun with him in the bathroom, and I believe by the way his speech slurs and he makes the impulsive decision to get Samurai back together, that he is drunk for that entire scene and has a drinking problem. It is my opinion that the reason he doesn't reveal any of that to V is because he knows Johnny will hear it and judge him, call him weak, or make insensitive jokes like he does to V when he gives you the quest. The only time we see Kerry be somewhat vulnerable is 1. Over text when talking about the crazed fan, since he probably thinks Johnny can't see those (I believe he can) and 2. In the epilogue when Johnny has been removed from V's head (Kerry says he doesn't want to lose V, and during the credits he tells V he just wants their lives to be less hectic so they can spend more time together).

4)

It took me a couple playthroughs to warm up to Kerry, Panam is probably still my favorite romance, but I think Kerry might be the best romance option for a Skreetkid V. He perfectly embodies the plights of Night City at every income bracket: no matter where you are on the food chain, if you're not at the top, you're getting fucked over. He clearly likes living in comfort while still embracing his rebellious side from his youth. But now, he has the cushion of money and status to save him if things go tits up (when you get a wanted level in Westbrook district, close to North Oak, the officer on the police scanner says "I swear, if its Eurodyne again" suggesting that he is very reckless but hardly ever faces real consequences). Maybe he stays in his gilded cage because he fears facing real hardship on his own, without friends, without a support group, without Johnny. He has a strong sense of pride, though, and would never admit to needing Johnny, even if they were best friends. The way Kerry wants to show Johnny a riff he's been working on after the concert, only to be disappointed when V takes over again, I think it really shows that as much as they disagreed, their friendship held the band together.

5)

I don't remember if Johnny hints at it or I saw someone suggest this on here, but the idea that Kerry only "dates" V because Johnny is in his head is ridiculous to me. The first time he called you to deal with the Us Cracks tour gear, he wanted Johnny. Every time after that, he wanted V. He definitely realizes which of the two is helping him; he can tell them apart. The Johnny that Kerry remembers wouldn't have done a selfless thing in his life, lest risking his pride and reputation as Night City's biggest fuckboy. Whether you really schmooze him up or tell him he's going overboard, Kerry appreciates that you helped him. And I think after the concert, when he hands V his gun, Kerry's body language suggests that he wasn't planning to give the gun to Johnny, he thought about it because V was back in control. V helped get the band back together, V helped decide if Denny or Henry should play the gig, V was the one who brought Johnny to Kerry's house. Johnny won't take over to do it himself despite probably being able to. I only wish you didn't meet him so late in the main story, so that his story could have more time and space to breathe.

[ammonite-collective]

Autism terminology

Person with autism vs autistic person

I know that professionals dealing with disabled populations are taught directly to use person first-language regardless of what the person they’re working with prefers. Person first language is the idea of stating that the person with a disability is a PERSON and their disability is secondary.

I have seen a significant portion of the autistic community, including myself, preferring identity first terminology. My reasoning is that my autism cannot be separated from me to be to end up with the same person. My autism is very much a part of me and it shapes my experiences so I would not be who I am now without my autism. That’s not a good or bad thing. It is simply a neutral fact.

Person first language also includes using ���person with a disability” as opposed to “disabled person.” The idea seems to be that the disability doesn’t define a person but a lot of the time it does and it’s important to say that. I am also physically disabled and chronically ill and being disabled has impacted my life so immensely. It is a daily occurrence that I go through. In addition, disabled is not a dirty word. It is okay to say that a disabled person is disabled. They aren’t “differently abled.” I don’t have special abilities, I literally just can’t do some things.

Honestly, I think it’s probably the best idea to just ask someone how they prefer to be talked about and the words they use to describe themselves. Some people prefer person first language to describe them and that’s okay too. Please just talk to disabled people instead of just assuming or talking over us.

Nonspeaking/Nonverbal

I unfortunately see a lot of people using “going nonverbal” to describe intense overstimulation that causes a person not to be able to speak for a period of time. Based on interactions with nonverbal people, this trivializes their experiences. Being nonverbal is a permanent of not being able to talk at all or talking very very little. You cannot become nonverbal for an hour. Your experiences matter but you don’t need to take words from people who need them to describe their struggles and experiences. Nonverbal people have different support needs to speaking people. Like they may need/use an AAC device, use sign language. They also have different struggles. People tend to talk over nonverbal people as if they are not sentient human beings. Their communication attempts can be ignored and they often are put through intense and traumatic ABA therapy to force them to speak and act more “normal” rather than just listening to their other forms of communication.

Alternative terms to use:

• verbal shutdown- inability to speak due to overstimulation

• temporary speech loss episodes- self explanatory

• selective mutism- anxiety disorder where a person cannot speak in specific situations but can speak in others

Is autism a disability?

Short answer, yes.

For most autistic people, it is a disability but for some low support needs people, they don’t consider it to be for themselves. Both views are perfectly fine. However, if you deem it to not be a disability for yourself, please do not determine that for other people. If you were to do that, you’d be wrong. The presence of a disability is generally required in order to receive care that many autistic people require to live their daily life. There are also a significant portion of disabled people in general that cannot access accommodations or support regardless of need. If you do not need support to succeed, you are privileged. You are also not the majority and you need to keep other people with higher support needs in mind when you make blanket statements. Or better yet, don’t make blanket statements at all.

High/Low functioning labels

These are not accurate ways to describe autistic people. The correct terms would be high/low support needs. Functioning labels are harmful to low support needs folks because we are unable to access support we need and they’re harmful to high support needs folks because their thoughts are disregarded with the assumption they don’t have important insights and experiences.

Asperger’s/aspie

I do not support the use of aspie/Aspergers to describe even oneself. The reason being that Hans Asperger was a Nazi. The term was used to determine which autistic people got to live during the Holocaust. Usually, I’m all for people determining which words vibe best with them but this word reeks of supremacy. It’s the same concept as saying you’re “one of the good ones.” I don’t support acting like this in any community. We all have the same disorder and it’s not cool to separate yourself from those you view as lesser, even if that thought is subconscious.

ABA

Applied behavioral analysis therapy is a way that neurotypicals try to force their societal standards onto autistic people, mainly high support needs folks. It is generally regarded to be abusive because their whole philosophy is to “break” a person down and “rebuild” them again in the way the therapist wants them to act. If your thought process surrounding disabled people involves breaking them, you are not safe. Autistic people are whole people and the opinions of allistic (not autistic) people do not matter on that.

Autism Speaks and the puzzle piece/Light it up Blue

A lot of well meaning allistic people donate and support Autism Speaks. I understand the appeal if you are uneducated on the harm they have caused. Their overall goal is to cure autism. A lot of “autism moms” (mothers of autistic children that make their child’s autism their whole personality) say that they hate the autism but love their child. The autism cannot be separated from the autistic person. Autism is a neurotype. It influences the way autistic people interact with and perceive the world around them. An autistic person without their autism would have entirely different experiences and mannerisms. They would be an entirely different person. That’s why autistic activists fight against the search for a cure. My autism does cause immense difficulties in my life but I don’t want to be allistic. I would not be me as an allistic person. If there is a cure, I don’t want it. We should be spending resources helping autistic people in the moment and meeting them where they are instead of trying to change them. Searching for a cure when we are actively in need of support is disrespectful at the very least.

The puzzle piece is incredibly offensive to most autistic people. The whole idea behind it is that autistic people are not whole. That we need our “missing piece” to be whole human beings. That we are somehow lacking. I hope I don’t have to explain why that sucks.

Light it up blue isn’t exactly bad on its own but it comes with the whole of autism speaks. It also symbolizes that autism was a “boy’s disorder” for a very long time.

Awareness and Acceptance

While I believe that autism awareness is important, it can only do so much. Plus, most people already know about autism, and they’re terrified of it. Acceptance is so much more important. You may be aware of autism but unless you accept autistic people with open arms, you are not safe to us. You must accept us as we are and let us breathe in your presence.

Final thoughts and a call in

I am only one autistic person. I do not have all the insight of every autistic person. I tried my best to cover many of the things I believe are important but I definitely couldn’t cover everything. This already took me a week to research and write because I’m disabled and struggle with projects like this. If you have more to share, please reblog with your own experiences and stuff you wish people knew. If I got something wrong, tell me (kindly please). I hope we can work together to make the community and society as a whole safer and more welcoming!

[mediocre-shark-tales]

Chapter 5

Masterlist

I had just finished my last day of school, the countdown to graduation ticking away. The relief I should have felt was overshadowed by the conversation I was now stuck in. My mother had spent the last 30 minutes trying to convince me to let her plan a grand graduation party. If she’d suggested something small and intimate, just close friends and family, I might have agreed. But that wasn’t her. My mother thrived on the limelight, whether it was directed at her or someone close to her, though more often than not, it found its way back to her. This wasn’t going to be a celebration of my achievements — it was going to be her event. Another stage for her to step into and take over.

I sat there, listening quietly as she rattled off her plans. She was so animated, her eyes gleaming with excitement as if she’d already started planning the guest list in her mind. I let her speak without cutting her off, though I could feel frustration building inside me. With every new detail she mentioned, it became clearer: this party wasn’t about me at all. She didn’t ask about what I wanted or how I felt. She didn’t even know what I’d actually accomplished in school or what my plans were for the future.

When she started talking about setting up a "college table," my stomach twisted. She was already making assumptions, thinking I’d be going to the same college she ended up at after the divorce. But I wasn’t even planning on leaving for college yet, something she should have known if she’d bothered to ask. The more she spoke, the more I realized how disconnected she was from my life, from me. It hurt. Not just her obliviousness, but the realization that she didn’t see me as my own person with my own dreams. To her, this was another opportunity to create a show, with me playing a supporting role in her spectacle.

I clenched my fists under the table, forcing myself to keep listening, even though part of me wanted to scream, to make her stop. But I didn’t. I stayed silent, like I always did, letting her enthusiasm fill the room while my own voice got lost somewhere between the words she wasn’t hearing and the ones I couldn’t bring myself to say.

Needless to say, the conversation didn’t end on good terms. As frustration simmered inside me, I stood up abruptly, leaving her sitting alone in the living room. Did my mother even truly know me? Her only child, her daughter? After all these years, she should have understood that I hated big, extravagant parties. I didn’t care for grand gestures or being the center of attention. I preferred the quiet moments — just close friends and family, something simple that didn’t need all the fanfare. But she couldn’t see that. It was like she only saw the version of me she had in her head, not the person I actually was.

As I reached the door, I heard her voice call after me, tinged with confusion. "What did I say wrong?" Her question hung in the air, almost mocking in its innocence, as if she truly couldn’t fathom why I would walk away. A part of me wanted to turn back, to explain it all — my hurt, the years of feeling overshadowed by her need for attention, her failure to really see me. But what was the point? I knew how this would go. She would twist it, make herself the victim, and I’d be the ungrateful daughter once again.

Instead, I left her with one sentence: “I just need to go for a walk before I make our relationship worse, since obviously you can do no wrong.” My words were sharp, cutting, and I could feel the tension tighten in the air between us.

I didn’t wait for her response. I couldn’t bear to stand there any longer, my emotions teetering on the edge. The door clicked shut behind me, and the cool evening air hit my face as I stepped outside. My hands were trembling, and my heart pounded with a mix of anger and sadness. How had we gotten here? How had something as simple as a conversation about a party turned into yet another reminder of how distant we really were?

I walked, hoping the motion would help me shake off the heavy weight of disappointment that clung to me. But the questions gnawed at me, relentlessly. Would she ever see me for who I am, or was I destined to remain just an extension of her, molded into whatever version suited her needs? I didn’t know the answer, but the ache of that uncertainty followed me with every step I took.

Eventually, I decided to head over to see Emily and Sam. Sam had his pack on patrol, rotating shifts as we waited for Victoria’s next move. Since I wasn’t officially part of his pack, and he couldn’t use the alpha tone on me, I didn’t have any patrol shifts assigned. Still, I often used my free time to help out when some of the pack members were out on duty. It was my way of contributing, even if I wasn’t bound to their pack. Plus, with the Cullens starting to treat me as closely as they did Bella, I could patrol the woods near their territory as well.

Carlisle had actually approached me about it. He asked if I’d be willing to cover certain days and times when the house would be empty. That way, someone would always be around to keep an eye out in case Victoria returned. It felt like a responsibility I couldn’t turn down, knowing how dangerous she could be. Even though I wasn't part of their family or Sam's pack, I was still part of something larger, something that mattered.

After that, I hopped into my truck and drove over to the Rez. The ride was familiar and gave me a little time to clear my head before facing whatever updates Sam might have. As I pulled up in front of Sam’s house, I hadn’t even shut the door when I spotted Emily already on the porch, her face lighting up with a welcoming smile.

“Hey, Y/N,” she called out, her warm tone instantly making me feel at ease. “I’ve got some muffins in the oven. You came at the perfect time!”

I smiled back, grateful for the small comfort of her presence. “Thanks, Em,” I said as I climbed the steps and gave her a quick hug hello. The familiar scent of baking wafted through the air, and for a moment, everything felt a little less tense. It was these small moments, away from the danger lurking in the shadows, that gave me a brief sense of normalcy. Even though we all knew the peace wouldn’t last, right now, I just wanted to enjoy it.

"Can I ask you a favor, Y/N?" Emily’s voice trembled slightly, her usual confidence wavering. I nodded, giving her the space to continue. She took a deep breath, clearly worried. "It’s about Sam... he’s been pushing himself too hard lately. He’s not sleeping well, and with everything going on with Victoria, he’s on edge all the time. I’m really scared for his health."

I could see the concern etched into her face. Emily had always been strong, but seeing her this anxious tugged at something in me. “Don’t worry, Em,” I reassured her gently, “I’ll talk to him.”

Inside, I found Sam sprawled on the couch, fighting to stay awake while a baseball game played on the TV. His exhaustion was palpable. Actually, I could feel it — a side effect of my Alpha of Alphas genes. It was like carrying a heavy weight that wasn’t mine, and sometimes, it really sucked. My own problems had me drained, but I could feel the full force of the exhaustion rippling through the pack, and Sam’s was hitting me hard.

I stepped closer, squatting down in front of him as he struggled to keep his eyes open. His exhaustion clung to him like a shadow, pulling him under, and I couldn’t help but give him a soft, understanding smile. I rested a hand on his shoulder, feeling the tension under my palm. "Sam, it’s time to get some real rest. I’ll take care of the pack while you catch up on sleep, okay? When you wake up, we can talk about finding a healthier way for you to handle everything."

He shook his head, his words coming out slow and slurred from exhaustion. "I have to protect the pack... and Em... and the town. I can’t just sleep. I have to be awake for that."

His stubbornness, though expected, was heartbreaking. He was fighting a losing battle with himself, trying to carry the weight of everyone else while falling apart.

"Sam, if there’s anyone you can trust to handle it, it’s me," I said firmly, squeezing his shoulder gently. "That’s literally sewn into my DNA. But you’re not just hurting yourself by staying up like this — you’re hurting me too. My inner wolf feels your exhaustion and it’s howling at me to make it stop. All I want right now is for you to get some sleep and eat something. You need to be healthy to lead. Your pack needs you at your best, not running on fumes."

I watched as the weight of my words began to sink in, but I wasn’t sure if it was enough. So, I added, “And if none of that convinces you, let me be blunt. I’m not emotionally ready to step into the leadership role I was born for. I still look to you to show me how to lead. If you keep pushing yourself like this, I’m going to be forced to take over, and I don’t want to. I don’t want to be put in a position where I have to force you to step down because your health is failing the pack. Please, Sam. Don’t make me do that."

For a moment, his eyes flickered with something — understanding, maybe, or resignation. He let out a tired sigh, his body finally giving in to the exhaustion as his eyes began to close.

"Alright," he whispered, his voice barely a murmur. "But only for a little while."

I nodded, my hand still resting on his shoulder. "That’s all I ask, Sam."

As I watched him finally give in to sleep, the tension in my chest loosened just a little. It wasn’t over, but for now, Sam was resting. And that was the first step to keeping him — and the pack — safe.

I walked back into the kitchen where Emily stood by the counter, watching me with quiet anticipation. I smiled softly. “It’s not the most comfortable place for him to sleep, but he’s finally out.” Relief washed over her face as she nodded, murmuring her thanks.

“If you don’t mind, Emily,” I continued, “could you make sure he gets something meaty when he wakes up? Actually, if you can include a good amount of protein in every meal, that would be great. I know it might sound cheesy, but from what I’ve learned through my father’s tribe stories, it’s healthier for the pack to eat more protein, especially meat.”

Emily’s eyes focused on me, her expression thoughtful as she nodded again, taking in my words. I continued, feeling more confident. “Other foods are important too, of course. We were human first, after all. But now, with the wolf gene active, we have to adapt. Eating like wolves will help increase their energy and might even improve their muscle mass.”

When I glanced back at Emily, I found her smirking, arms crossed as she leaned against the counter. “You know, Y/N,” she said, amusement dancing in her eyes, “you keep saying you’re not ready to lead, but you really do sound like a natural.”

I let out a short laugh, trying to brush it off. “Yeah, because doing a little research with my dad definitely screams leadership,” I teased, though her words lingered.

Emily had already started pulling meat from the freezer, her voice steady as she continued. “If you weren’t born to lead, you wouldn’t care this much. You wouldn’t have even thought to share that information with me. Hell, you probably wouldn’t have bothered learning it in the first place — let alone remembered it.”

Her words hung in the air, and for a moment, I paused. She had a point. If I didn’t have some kind of instinct for leadership, why would I care so much? Why would I dig into my father’s tribe stories, trying to find answers to help the pack? I’d always thought of myself as someone in the background, not ready to step up — not yet. But maybe, just maybe, I was more of a leader than I gave myself credit for.

A thought crossed my mind. If there was so much wisdom in the tribe’s stories, maybe there was more to uncover. Something we hadn’t thought of yet that could help us in the battle ahead. I turned the idea over, my curiosity sparking.

“Maybe I should read more of those tribe books,” I said aloud, half to myself. “There might be something else we don’t know that could help.”

Emily glanced at me with a knowing smile. “Looks like you’ve got more of that leadership spark than you realized.”

I chuckled softly, but inside, her words left an impression. Maybe it was time to stop doubting myself. The pack needed someone who could see the bigger picture, and whether I was ready or not, I was already stepping into that role.

Here’s a revised version of your scene, incorporating the clarification about Y/N's relationship with her mother and their differing perspectives on the graduation party:

For the next hour, I sat and chatted with Emily, the familiar comfort of her presence helping me process everything. It was always so easy to confide in her about my stress. She was one of the few people in my life who had no biases tied to my struggles. While she would have readily supported me, she also understood that I needed someone neutral — someone who could help me see things from the outside. I wanted to gauge my own feelings honestly, to determine if I was the one truly in the wrong.

“I think you handled your mother well, Y/N,” Emily said, her tone encouraging. “You could have yelled at her or said something hurtful, but instead, you took the diplomatic route by leaving the room when you knew your anger wouldn’t help. That was probably the best decision you could have made.”

I considered her words, a flicker of pride igniting within me. “Thanks, Em. It just felt like there was no point in arguing. I didn’t want to say something I would regret.”

Emily leaned in slightly, her eyes intent on mine. “And you even let her see a glimpse of how you were feeling when you could have left her completely in the dark. By doing that, you’re giving her a chance to understand how she messed up and to apologize. That’s not easy, especially when emotions are running high.”

Thinking back to the conversation with my mom, I couldn’t shake the feeling of disappointment. As she listed her grand plans for a huge graduation party, all I could think was how little she truly understood me. She wanted bright decorations, a long guest list, and a spotlight on the event, while all I wanted was a small get-together with my closest friends and family — a quiet celebration, free of the overwhelming pressure of a big party.

“I just can’t believe she doesn’t really know me at all,” I admitted, the frustration spilling out. “It’s like she never paid attention to what I really wanted. It’s always about what she envisions, not about who I am.”

Emily nodded sympathetically, her expression softening. “That must be really hard to realize. It’s tough when the people closest to us seem to miss the mark. But you standing your ground is a step towards showing her who you are, even if it’s hard for her to see it right now.”

I took a deep breath, letting Emily’s words sink in. “I don’t want to be angry at her. I just want her to understand me. I don’t want to lash out or push her away.”

“And you’re not,” Emily reassured me, her voice warm. “Recognizing that disconnect and wanting to improve your relationship is a significant step. It shows that you care. You’re not just reacting; you’re actively trying to communicate. That’s real growth.”

Her encouragement wrapped around me like a warm blanket, easing the tension that had built up inside. I felt grateful for Emily’s presence, her ability to see me for who I was beyond the chaos.

“I guess it’s a work in progress,” I said, managing a small smile. “But I’m trying.”

“That’s all any of us can do,” she replied, returning my smile with one of her own. “And I’m here for you, every step of the way.”

We shared a comfortable silence for a moment, the weight of our conversation lingering in the air. I felt lighter, realizing that I wasn’t alone in navigating these challenges. With Emily by my side, I could face whatever lay ahead, one small step at a time.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of approaching packmates, their footsteps echoing on the path. Emily noticed my pause and the way I turned toward the door, quickly taking that as a sign. She dashed back into the kitchen to grab the cooling stack of muffins, leaving me to brace myself for the arrival of the boys.

As I stepped off the porch to meet them, I spotted Embry, Quil, Leah, Seth, and Jared sprinting toward me. Jake and Paul were currently on patrol, but the energy of the group was palpable. When they saw me standing there with a serious, unhappy expression, their laughter faded, and they slowed, the mood shifting instantly.

“Hey, Y/N? What’s wrong?” Leah asked, her voice laced with concern. The others seemed to tense slightly, almost as if they feared what I might say. I must have looked more intimidating than I intended.

I took a breath, trying to steady my emotions. “I just got Sam to sleep,” I explained, my tone serious. “While he’s out, I’m in charge of the pack. It was the only way I could finally convince him to rest. He’s been pushing himself too hard, and the anxiety about Victoria is clouding his judgment. Until he’s awake, you need to come to me with anything you would have brought to him.”

As I spoke, their expressions shifted from worry to understanding. I could see them processing my words, realizing the weight of the situation. “I’m hoping to convince him to work shifts with me, too. He needs to let go and rest more. With my DNA, maybe I can assist with the pack in ways he can’t right now.”

Emily returned just in time, muffins in hand, and I gestured toward her. “And by the way, Emily has muffins waiting for you. If you could all just try to be quiet since Sam is asleep on the couch, that would be really helpful.”

I watched as they exchanged glances, their concern slowly replaced by determination. A chorus of approvals and agreements erupted as they began to move inside, each of them clearly respecting the gravity of the situation. I felt a small sense of relief wash over me; I wasn’t alone in this.

As they filed into the house, I took a moment to collect my thoughts. This wasn’t just about keeping the pack functioning while Sam rested. It was about being a leader, even if I didn’t fully believe it yet. With each step they took, I felt a growing sense of responsibility — and a flicker of pride. Maybe I was starting to find my place among them after all.

Hours passed, and the pack moved in a steady rhythm. Some came and went as shifts changed, trading responsibilities as smoothly as a well-oiled machine. Through it all, I managed to keep things under control. Sam had been able to get a solid nine hours of sleep, undisturbed by the usual chaos of pack life. In his absence, I had dealt with a few false alarms—mostly rogue vampires crossing through our territory. We managed to chase them off, most retreating north past the Canadian border, wanting no part of a fight.

By the time Sam finally woke up, looking much more refreshed, Emily had made sure he had a good meal in him. I felt my inner wolf settle finally. Seeing him like this—stronger, clearer—reminded me why I was stepping up in the first place. The pack needed their Alpha at full strength, and Sam had been running on fumes for too long.

Once things quieted down, we sat at the kitchen table, facing each other. The weight of leadership still hung between us, but there was a calmness now that hadn't been there before. Sam looked me in the eye, more alert and focused than he had been in days.

“Alright,” I began, leaning forward slightly. “I know you take your job seriously, Sam. No one doubts that. You’re a great leader—there’s no question about it. But the Pack needs more than just a great leader. They need you to be healthy, to be at your best. Pushing yourself until you break doesn’t help anyone.”

He nodded slowly, his brow furrowed as he considered my words. I could see the conflict in his eyes—his need to protect us all, to never rest, battling against the logic of what I was saying. I pressed on.

“I’ve been thinking,” I continued. “We have the patrols working in shifts, right? It’s time we applied that same logic to the leadership. You and I—let’s work in shifts, too. I don’t have school anymore, and graduation’s in a few days. After that, I’m completely free. I can take over when you need to rest. Whether that means I start sleeping during the day so I can handle things at night while you sleep, or however you want to divide it—I’m ready to step in.”

Sam listened, his eyes locked on mine, nodding here and there as he processed the idea. There was a slight hesitation in his expression, and I could tell it wasn’t an easy thing for him to accept.

“You’ve been carrying this weight on your own for too long,” I added, my voice softening. “And trust me, I get it. I know how hard it is to let go, to rely on someone else. But I’m not just ‘someone else,’ Sam. I’m your equal. I’m the Alpha of Alphas. My genes, my blood, are made for this. We’re in this together.”

Sam sat back, crossing his arms, clearly deep in thought. He was quiet for a moment, but I could see him slowly coming around to the idea. He wasn’t used to accepting help, but it was clear the toll the past few weeks had taken on him.

“I know you’re right,” he finally admitted, his voice low but steady. “I just hate the idea of not being there for the pack—of not being awake to protect them.”

“You’re still protecting them, Sam,” I said gently. “But part of protecting them means knowing when to rest. If you burn out, you won’t be able to lead them at all. And that’s why I’m here. I’ll take the load when you need to rest. You won’t have to do it all alone anymore.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I guess I’ve been too focused on everything going on, I didn’t realize how much it was affecting me. But you’re right. We need to start thinking long-term.”

I smiled softly, relieved that he was coming around. “Exactly. This way, you won’t have to carry it all by yourself.”

Sam nodded again, finally seeming to accept the idea. “Alright,” he said, his voice more certain now. “Let’s try it. We’ll set up a schedule, figure out the shifts. I trust you, Y/N.”

Hearing those words, I felt a rush of pride—and responsibility. “Thank you, Sam. I won’t let you down.”

As we sat there, a new understanding passed between us. This was a turning point. We weren’t just alphas—we were a team, and together, we would make sure the pack thrived.

[bagel-muncher]

You're THE SOUKAN guy, tell me every single soukan HC you have IMMEDIANTLY (this is a threat btw :3)

I literally started typing this all up before I went to bed last night and I woke up to see this... get out of my head bestie. I am honored to be thought of as the Soukan guy lmao.

Some Soukan hc's because my brain is wrong

First off, I see Yu as bi and Kanji as pan.

Yu fell first. He has no clue when it happened, but at some point, Kanji just went from one of his best friends to someone he couldn't really do without. Still, Yu doesn't confess. If any of y'all have played the New Days fangame, I think of it like that dream Velvet Room thing with Kanji, where Yu worries that being in a relationship with Kanji would just make his life harder. He knows that if he does feel the same he'd just grin and bear it, but he doesn't want Kanji to have to deal with more rumors and assumptions about him than he already does.

Kanji is the one who confesses. It's the classic "one fell first, the other fell harder". Yu had time to come to terms with his feelings and let them be, Kanji realized he was head over heels for Yu and almost explodes trying not to let it slip every time they hung out. Surprise surprise, he doesn't last long and tries to make some big romantic gesture, only for it to fail miserably. Luckily, Yu found it adorable and they started dating.

Yu expresses his love through physical touch. He prefers being quiet to talking, so it's the easiest way to make sure the people he cares about know he loves them. He does his best not to be too obnoxious about it in public for Kanji's sake, but he's constantly holding his hand, leaning onto him, or otherwise invading his space. When they are alone though, he's super cuddly. Kanji can't do much of anything if it doesn't allow letting his boyfriend hold him while he does it.

Kanji is all about acts of service and gift-giving. Words are hard and he struggles to be as unabashedly affectionate as Yu. So instead, he makes use of his skills in sewing and cooking to constantly make him gifts or treat him to meals. Even if some part of him is still embarrassed about his hobbies, he feels a lot better about it since he's doing it for someone he loves who wholeheartedly supports him.

Comfortable silence is the name of the game with them. Yu prefers not to speak, Kanji never knows what to say without feeling like he'll make a fool of himself. Still, he always felt like he had to fill the void Yu made with his silence until Yu eventually was able to convince him he didn't have to.

THE cat dads of all time. Yu showed Kanji the neighborhood strays one day and now they have them all named and Kanji comes by to help feed them from time to time. Kanji mentions getting a cat or two when they eventually get their own place, and Yu teases him for already fantasizing about them living together. (He has already imagined a full wedding and everything his ass should NOT be talking)

Dojima had very mixed opinions on them dating at first. There was the whole thing about Yu dating a guy in the first place, which while making Dojima a bit confused at first, he got past pretty quickly. The bigger problem was that it was Kanji. Dojima knew he really wasn't a bad guy, but he was stubborn and had trouble being comfortable with a guy with his reputation dating his nephew. Nanako really likes Kanji though, and with how often Kanji shows up with Yu and helps out while he's there, Dojima does grow to accept it. There's still a level of "Dad who makes sure his daughter's bf knows he owns a shotgun" energy, but he lets them be as long as they're responsible.

On the other hand, Kanji's mother was over the moon when she learned they got together. Yu's a great guy, and she's overjoyed that not only has her son started to make some great friends, but he even managed to snag himself a boyfriend.

I think Nanako would absolutely love to learn they're dating. Even if she still thinks Kanji looks scary, he's very sweet to her and makes Yu happy, so she adores him. He's basically already her brother-in-law in her mind.

Yu and Nanako have a frankly ridiculous amount of plushies that Kanji made for them. Nanako is of course overjoyed by the gifts, but Yu is starting to run out of space on his shelf.

Since Dojima is usually out late, Yu invites Kanji over often to have dinner with him and Nanako. It's part date, part making the work easier on himself. It's the exact sort of domestic fluff one would expect, the three of them having a great time cooking and eating dinner before watching TV together (Yu using Kanji as a pillow the entire time, ofc) before Nanako eventually has to be put to bed. Yu constantly jokes about them living just like this when they grow up and if they decide to start a family, and Kanji's red even as he denies how much he'd like that. These nights usually end up with Kanji staying too late to be out and having to stay over or straight-up falling asleep on the couch. Yu always has to deal with a lecture from Dojima the next morning, but getting to cuddle Kanji all night makes it more than worth it.

Honestly, I could write waaaaay more but I feel this is enough for now and I probably should focus that energy on actually writing lol.

[hypergamiss]

*Long Ask Incoming*

Do you know much about polyamory or Ethical Non Monogamous Relationships? I was introduced to it a while ago and have been thinking about it ever since. I dated a man who was married and his wife was in a relationship for over a year with another man. I really enjoyed it. I could go on dates with him and have fun and run up his credit card bill without the expectation of anything deeper ever happening between us. I didn’t even have sex with him. While she cooked, cleaned, took care of their kids and dated her boyfriend.

I think it’s the perfect dynamic for me. I don’t have the most supportive family or friends and men generally tend to take advantage of that once they realize I don’t have a lot of people in my corner. Because of past experiences, the idea of being in a relationship and married to one man will leave me extremely vulnerable and at risk, so that scares me. I don’t want to run the risk of marrying a man who thinks he has me trapped once we get married.

I’ve learned that this lifestyle is more common than most people think. There’s many couples doing it quietly (the couples who are loud and obnoxious about it tend to be messy and have high divorce rates). I’ve seen healthy long marriages with well adjusted children. I think this would be perfect for me because it will give me and my future long term partner flexibility and we won’t feel the resentment towards each other, once love and hormones fade away, like it does in every couple (every elder has advised that love is not enough to sustain a marriage long term because it’s just an emotion). He can have his women on the side who he messes around with, while taking care of my needs and providing the essentials for his family. My kids will get the financial benefits and have two parents that get along and like each other; these are my main priorities. Essentially our marriage would be the legal document that validates our partnership and dedication to our family.

One hesitation that I have about traditional marriage is that I’m expected to get all of my romance and love from ONE single person for the rest of my life and I don’t like that. That’s too much of a load to carry and I can’t imagine myself being interested in only one person for the rest of my life. Most people aren’t either, which is why cheating, be it physical or emotional are nearly unavoidable nowadays.

I can see myself being in short term relationships with 1 or 2 men every couple of years. We can go on dates and travel. I think the type of men who would be best suited for my side relationships would be the “I don’t believe in marriage types”. I see women in relationships with men like that and there’s nothing wrong with him except that he won’t marry them, but in our current social climate that gets him labeled as a “selfish man who wastes women’s time”. That would be the perfect guy for me. We could date without the expectation of marriage. If he finds someone else down the line and he leaves me, I won’t be an emotional wreck because he was just a fun little boyfriend.

I think giving this dynamic a label and making it clear at the beginning what the expectations are is ideal. Many married women are in one sided polyamorous relationships and they don’t even know it. So I might as well go into it intentionally.

I think it’s ok to admit that marriage isn’t for everyone. If you can’t see yourself with one person forever that’s completely fine. And if you find someone who wants to be in an open marriage with you then I’d suggest trying it out before having children. If it works for you after testing it out then so be it. We all have our preferences. One thing I will say is that men don’t really see themselves benefiting from an open marriage. The thrill of the secrecy of cheating is what drives them for whatever reason and taking that away doesn’t really do much for them. They are also self centered and possessive so even though they are cheating, they don’t like the fact that their woman is being sexual with another man. They also know that in an open marriage, a woman has much more options and pull than a man and their ego gets crushed by this. I suppose this is why many “open” marriages are not spoken about and more of a “look the other way” type of thing. Personally I’d prefer a monogamous arrangement because of the possibility of STD’s and such. I have no trouble committing to one person so as long as they can acknowledge and accept that we will be constantly evolving and choose to accept each other continuously. Obviously most people cheat but it’s just something that I’d rather have a lot to gain from (cheating clause) if that were to happen in my marriage. Aside from that, I do have plenty of men in my life that have been monogamous without an issue and I rather keep that standard. The women in my life know how to be the center of attention and always keep their men on their toes. You should never let a man think that you’re trapped or locked down after marriage. For us, the man’s chase never ends and they rather enjoy it. Even when there has been suspicions they’ve hired PI only to find out their partners were trying to surprise them with something special. These kinds of men do exist and I’d rather have that dynamic.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

WHY IS EVERYONE SAYING GOJO IS ATTRACTED TO OLDER WOMEN???

Gege never said that pls, he said that if he could ever imagine himself as anything other than a jujutsu sorcerer which is a “probably not” and then a freeloader and swallow was mentioned

Where tf is him being attracted to older women mentioned???? Also we can say that it insinuates him being separated from him mother from a young age causing him to have mommy issues AND he needs someone to love and care for him not that he needs an older rich woman

Let’s not forget how there’s so much emphasis on him needing someone to understand him.. An older rich woman is not what he needs…. He’s already filthy dirt rich 🙏

A younger girl can also understand and love and care for him?? Like let’s not make up gojos preferences for age which ironically alot of older women are doing all over social media rn with this tiny piece of information that never specified his preferences

ITS PISSING ME OFF ARIIII HOPE YOU GET ME HERE 💔💔💔

😭😭😭 WELL . honestly i don’t see gojo liking women period in the manga so i might not be the best person to ask here anon……….

hmmmmm honestly i don’t have a problem with people saying he likes older women? it’s seems mostly harmless to me? :3 overall i don’t think he’s the type to fixate on age too much though…

anyway. if you want more info on the interview question then please check out soukatsu’s tweets <33 they went over both terms akutami used to describe gojo, ヒモ and ツバメ!! the former seems to imply a degree of uselessness (freeloader, leech, etc) while the latter is less derogatory and more so just… a younger guy who dates older women + lives off their money. i have zerooo clue if these terms are used only for hetero relationships or if they’re also used for men living off their older bf’s money, and so on, but yeah!! those are the terms :3

if you wanna be reeeally technical and clear cut then i think it’s kinda obvious this is a bit of a troll answer 😭 akutami is basically calling gojo a useless leech in the first part LMAO. but i do think it says something about gojo’s character!! my own take is that when he does fantasize about not being a sorcerer (which, like akutami said - it’s unlikely that he ever does), he fantasizes about being pampered and free from responsibility <3 as he should be!!!!!

as for the mommy issues 👀👀👀 i will always support gojo having them. i think it adds flavour to his character. but i definitely don’t think that’s what akutami was implying with that answer 😭 i doubt gojo thinks about his mother much at all. but the idea of him having a subconscious longing for maternal love is tasty to me… for hurt/comfort purposes….

anyway <3 bottom line, i definitely agree that gojo would need someone who understands him (even if i don’t think anyone really could). when he falls for someone i think he sticks to them no matter what, and i doubt age is a real factor in that :3 don’t get me wrong i do think he deserves a hot sugar daddy boyfriend but that’s just me being me. i really don’t see him caring about age much at all!!!

[eternal-echoes]

Hey!! I’m a catholic too, I never skip a sunday mass and I pray daily. I had a question about your views on abortion, gender and sexuality.

For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged:

and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

Matthew 7:2

I do view abortion as homicide and I personally would never do it but I do not feel in any way in the position to judge a woman for wanting to do an abortion just like I wouldn’t judge somebody killing in case of self defense. I am not God and the most valuable thing He gave us was choice and free will and as a catholic I feel obliged to respect that in my neighbor. Same goes for LGBTQ+ people. Jesus never even mentioned the theme of sexuality or gender identity and always put love in front of the abrahamic law during the entirety of the gospel. What right do I have to judge others? What right do I have to think I’m right and they are wrong? I am cis and heterosexual, I would never abort in any scenario but in no way I can afford to be judged with the same measure I would judge others by telling them I was right and they were wrong for coming out as transgender or gay. I am sinful and ignorant, I’m not God, thus I have no right to judge.

In this very same way I’m not judging you, God has laid a path for us all and I’m sure you are doing a great job walking on yours, carrying your own cross. I’m sure you had a kind of upbringing that brought you here and made you who you are but you remind me a lot of who I used to be and I just felt the need to tell you I changed on the very moment I realized being religious wasn’t enough to be saved.

May God bless you! I will pray for you and I’m sorry if I crossed some boundaries writing this to you (also because as I said I’m ignorant and I might totally be wrong… if you think I am please pray for me so that God might lead me closer and closer to the Truth).

I wish you’ll spend a Merry Christmas!

Hello, Anon, thank you for your polite question. I will answer as best as I can.

As Jesus said,

“If you love Me, you will keep My commandments." - John 14: 15.

We can't just say we love God but break His laws He has explicitly stated in the Bible. Loving God is in His terms, not ours.

The thing about morality is that objective. It's not just an opinion, what will be wrong for me will also be wrong for another. It's not a matter of preferring vanilla ice cream over chocolate, if me and another person do it with full knowledge that it's wrong, then we've both committed a mortal sin.

Since you already believe that abortion is homicide, then you must believe it's also homicide when other people do it. Yes, we're called to love and respect our neighbor, but that does not mean we're called to approve of their sinful actions. All of us are still children of God when we commit sin, our actions doesn't negate our dignity. But being children of God doesn't negate the intrinsic evil of the sinful actions that people may decide to take. While there are different circumstances that may have driven a woman to abortion (i.e. poverty or desire to indulge in promiscuous lifestyle without consequences), and we as Christians can never assume that she's beyond forgiveness, we can never just declare that abortion isn't morally wrong or intrinsically sinful. It would not be loving to support someone commit something that would lead them to Hell. For a Christian to truly love someone is to will the other person's good. And that means saying no to what will lead them to Hell and guiding them to what will lead them to Heaven. In other words, we Christians have a duty to forbid promiscuity and promote chastity.

As for homosexuality and transgenderism,

it's important to remember what constitutes as sinful acts and what does not. Neither homosexuality or transgenderism are considered sins because those are not actions, especially since those do not fall under one's agency. What the Catholic Church teaches about people with same-sex attractions is written in the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

The Bible has been clear is condemning homosexual acts.

“‘Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable." - Leviticus 18: 22

"Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." - 1 Corinthians 9-10

"for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine." - 1 Timothy 1: 10

As a Catholic, we use the Bible as our guide along with the traditions of the Church in leading holy lives.

If you know any one who has same-sex attractions, I encourage you to share with them couragerc.net. It's a Catholic ministry that helps Christians with same-sex attractions lead chaste and holy lives.

In the case of transgenderism, the Catholic Church does not consider it sinful. The Catholic Church simply affirm the truth,

"God created man in his own image . . . male and female he created them" - Genesis 1: 27

No one is born in the wrong body because God doesn't make mistakes. People are fine just the way they are even though they do not adhere to the world's standards of beauty or socially constructed gender stereotypes. The body and soul are not separates; together they make up one substance.

We humans are integrated beings. That means our souls don’t reside in a round glowing ball in the middle of our chest. Our bodies aren’t something to detest, something that holds our soul for now but isn’t important. We are one being. So just as much as your soul is you, so is your body you. What we do with our bodies matters. You don’t just hurt my nose if you punch my face, you hurt me. If someone uses my body sexually for their own gratification, it’s not just my body that is affected, I am affected – my whole personhood has been hurt by being objectified.

Emphasis are mine. Read the full article here.

Transgenderism, or gender dysmorphia, is a mental health issue. It's in DSM-5. The correct treatment for mental health issues is therapy. We don't give liposuctions to anorexic girls who think they're fat because they're not in fact fat, so we shouldn't cut off perfectly healthy breasts on girls who think they're boys trapped in the wrong body, because they're not in fact boys. Being a girl means having XX chromosomes and being a boy means having XY-chromosomes.

It's true that Jesus has never specifically mentioned homosexuality and transgenderism but Jesus has never explicitly said not beating your spouse either but that doesn't mean He approves of it. When Jesus said, "But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5: 28), He was already speaking out against all sins against marriage here.

All of us fall short in following God's standard of morality, but that doesn't negate our intrinsic worth of being made in the image of likeness of God. We're judged by the same measure but we're also loved by the same God who wants us to keep striving to live a holy life even if the road is lonely and full of hardships. We can never judge someone as being unworthy of repentance and Heaven because only God knows that. But God did give us a moral code found in the Bible and expounded by the Catholic Church to tell us how to live a holy life according to His plan.

Anon, if you have anymore questions, please don't hesitate to ask.

[libraryofgage]

I know it's not the WIP Wednesday yet, but it is my birthday, so I'm gonna share the complete first chapter of Modern Steve in 80s Hawkins for your reading pleasure lmao:

"Now, Steve, you know we support you. Your father and I didn't bat an eye when you came out, and we look forward to meeting whichever nice young boy or girl you bring home. But, dear, violence is never the answer."

The words go in one ear and right out the other as Steve watches buildings rush by outside the window. He’d slip on the headphones around his neck, but Steve knows he at least owes his parents the courtesy of naked ears after they bailed him out. Really, he just wants to take a shower and change into clean clothes after spending a night in jail surrounded by equally sweaty and beat up parade-goers. Don’t get him wrong; the people were great, but the smell was atrocious. He lets his head fall against the window, eyes shutting as he breathes through a bruised rib, split lip, and swollen eye. 

"Steve, are you listening to your mother?"

"Yeah, violence bad," he mumbles, just loud enough to be heard in the otherwise silent car. At this point, he’d even prefer the stadium country that usually plays when his dad drives. 

He wishes he were back in the jail cell, swapping stories with the others who got arrested for fighting homophobic protestors, who started it, by the way. He knows his parents are disappointed in him for fighting (and, even worse, getting caught and potentially causing An Incident for them), but he felt genuinely happy sitting on the concerningly sticky floor in that cell. Even if he could go back to yesterday, he wouldn't change a damn thing after seeing three poor kids surrounded by people shouting the most vile things. 

They had looked terrified, tears crowding in their eyes as they clutched at each other, and Steve had seen red. It was a fucking pride parade, a place where kids should feel comfortable being themselves and seeing themselves in the smiling, laughing faces of strangers whose mere existence proves they’re not alone and they’ll survive. But they were being harassed by people with nothing better to do than let hate shrivel their hearts.

Steve, thankfully, hadn’t been the only one who’d seen red. He’d locked eyes with someone who had top surgery scars and a sash across their chest that read “Queer” in sparkling, rainbow letters. Next to them was a shorter woman with close-cropped hair and a flannel shirt (how she wasn’t dying in the heat, Steve will never know) with a white t-shirt underneath that had “Resting Butch Face" emblazoned across the front. The three of them had shared a nod and marched over to the kids.

He later learned that the person wearing the sash was named Daze (“They/them pronouns, unless it’s comedically appropriate to use something else,” they’d said in the jail cell, winking playfully at Steve). The butch went by Mar; she’d excitedly told Steve in the jail cell how her girlfriend would bust her out only to laugh her ass off when said girlfriend was shoved in by two cops not a second later.

What had followed the nod was Mar and Steve standing in front of the kids, creating an unmoving shield while Daze quickly gathered them close. They smiled at the three, quietly complimenting one’s rainbow hair ribbon while Steve tried to be the voice of reason (he shouldn’t have bothered, but he’s still got a little optimism inside).

The first punch was thrown by the ringleader of the protestors after Mar not-so-subtly implied that maybe he’d rather be partying with them and getting his tongue down some cute twink’s throat instead of holding signs and shouting. She’d taken the punch like a champ, and Steve’s grin mirrored hers when the wonderful, incredible term “self-defense” suddenly became applicable. 

Daze had gotten the kids out of there, keeping them calm even as more people joined in the fight, turning the little skirmish into an all out brawl. It had lasted five glorious minutes before cops finally broke it up, forcing protestors and pride-goers into cars together in zip ties. They had realized that was a bad idea when a drag queen headbutted a protestor for what he called her.

After a night in jail, bonding with his cellmates and writing down numbers with some femme’s spare lipstick on the back of a flier from an AT&T booth, his parents had arrived to bail him out. Steve had taken one look at them, at their business clothes and designer watches and worried, beyond confused expressions, and almost said he’d rather just stay behind bars for now. 

Instead, he convinced his parents to post bail for a few of his new friends, waved off their gratitude (they’d been through battle together, after all), and followed his parents out to the car after a few hugs and promises to make a group chat so they could hang out later. 

“You’re just lucky no charges were filed,” his father says, pulling Steve from his thoughts. 

He sighs, slumping down in his seat. A few seconds pass before Steve admits, “I’d do it again.” It’s the truth; he wouldn’t fucking hesitate to throw himself into the fray again. He doesn’t even know those kids’ names, but he knows they deserve more than being afraid of who they are and the monsters that masquerade in human skin around them. 

His parents glance at each other, a thousand words spoken in the brief moment of eye contact. “Steve, are you…okay?” his mother asks, her words hesitant. “I mean, you can tell us anything, dear, and we’ll do anything to make you feel better.”

Steve bites his tongue, refusing to ask how they’d manage that when they’re barely fucking home in the first place. They have a whole multi-million dollar company to run, so he gets it. They have to travel a lot, and they used to bring him along until just dropping him in Indianapolis sophomore year of high school (right after coming out to them, which he understood but was still hurt by) to have a “more grounded high school experience." Somehow worst of all, they try to make up for it with extravagant gifts and awkward conversations about whether he’s still gay or if he’s decided to be straight for the day.

They’ve yet to fully understand the concept of bisexuality, but this is far better than being kicked out of his home.

“I’m fine, Mom,” Steve says. Because he is. He’s just…tired. 

He’s tired of feeling alone in Indianapolis despite being surrounded by people. He had tried making friends, but everyone is so fucking awkward in 10th grade anyway, and the best Steve could do was embrace the “new rich kid” persona people created for him. He’d soon gained the nickname King Steve, which had only worked to make him feel like he’d somehow done something wrong in living up to their expectations. The closest he’s gotten to feeling like himself, to feeling accepted and embraced, was in that fucking jail cell.

Even worse, Steve is tired of this ache that tugs at the base of his spine and the pit of his heart like he’d find something that’s missing if only he’d just follow the pull. 

He doesn’t know how to explain any of that, though, so Steve just sighs again and says, “Maybe…maybe I could do with some down time. Like, a gap year before college or something. I think I just need some time to figure myself out a little more and decide what I want to do with my life before jumping right back into school. Does…does that make sense?”

“Yeah, Steve, it makes a lot of sense,” his father says, flashing him a tiny smile through the rearview mirror. “So, where do you want to go? Hawaii? Miami? Venice is nice this time of year.”

Steve can’t help a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “Nah, nothing like that. I think small town vibes are more what I’m going for here.”

His father just hums quietly, sharing another one of those looks with Steve’s mom. He misses this one, but he’d probably be suspicious of them if he hadn’t. He would have known immediately that they were about to do something absolutely ridiculous but well-meaning but so clearly telling of their ignorance when it comes to how people who aren’t wealthy approach problems.

But he doesn’t see, so he doesn’t know.

And when he looks back on this moment a few months later, after the absolute ride of his fucking life, Steve will think it’s a good thing he didn’t notice. If he had, he’d have said something, and then he’d have missed out on all the fun.

[frazzledsoul]

I have not been terribly successful at finding (exact) details about this, but Milo's upgrade from a bit player on the WB to a de facto lead on a Big 3 network show with massive ratings and hype was not a casual or random decision. The pilot for Heroes likely would have been shot around or before Milo shot his last episode for Gilmore Girls (they retooled it quite a bit from what made it to air) so it was likely known by the time that his last OS episode of Gilmore Girls was written and filmed that Milo would not be available for the next season.

The (so far as I have been able to ascertain, entirely mythical) idea that Milo signed onto Heroes at the last minute after the writing team changed and a "secret ending" for season 6 was written or filmed where Rory shows up at Truncheon eager to cheat on Logan with Jess for the second time in a month (and he lets her instead of shutting the door in her face like she deserves) that was swapped out for Lorelai banging Christopher doesn't make any sense (especially given that the storyline was unfortunately leading to Lorelai dumping Luke for Christopher for months).

Jess's last OS appearance aired on April 11. It was announced a little over a week later (April 20) that the Palladinos would be leaving Gilmore Girls. Heroes was announced as part of NBC's lineup on May 15, with the pilot already having been filmed. It is highly, highly unlikely that Milo shot the pilot and signed onto a much more high profile show on another network instead of re-committing to Gilmore Girls in a three-week period after he heard of the writing team changing.

The new writers did not ruin a season 7 and 8 storyline where Jess agreed to be Rory's sidepiece and agreed to the affair that some fans wanted. Milo did not want to be part of the show. He could have signed a longer contract after season 3, but he chose not to. He wanted to explore Jess's life beyond Rory and when that didn't work out, he wanted to move on. Yes, he came back for guest appearances but if the choice is between being the star of a Big 3 show with massive hype and more money and hanging around his old TV show that's soon to be canceled making out with a girlfriend he recently broke up with in real life, he'd kind of be crazy to prefer the latter.

And then there's the other thing: did Milo, after he left the show, actually want to return for another shot at Literati? Every answer he's ever given to that question seems to be hell no. Yes, he came back for the revival (because everyone else did and he had another prominent network job waiting for him by that time, so why not) but he's not a fan of Literati. His view seems to be that their relationship didn't work out, Rory broke his heart multiple times, and he has a nice life of his own, so they need to move on. Oh, and stop asking him who the baby daddy is because it's not Jess and he doesn't care.

As for the actual Jess/Rory plotline in S6? Jess has every inclination to be wary of her after the way she treated him. They met on fresh terms and seemed to have forgiven each other, and yet she traveled out of her way supposedly to support him, misled him into believing she was single despite having multiple opportunities to clarify otherwise, waited until they were alone, made out with him, and then backed away and clarified she's still in love with her boyfriend and is not going to leave him. She took advantage of Jess's vulnerabilities and feelings for her, used them against him, and then declared her devotion for someone else on a night that was important for him professionally. She knows what she did was wrong and apologizes for abusing Jess's boundaries and fully acknowledges that she did mistreat him but....the door is closed. She chose to close it. She also has caused too much damage for Jess to trust her again.

And you know what? It SHOULD be closed. Unlike Logan, Jess is fully aware of Rory's history and that she has no right to the moral high ground. He knows she cheated on Dean with him and was angry when he chose to move on instead of being content to beg for scraps of affection. He knows that she was likely involved with Dean when he was married. Now she's tried to use him to cheat on yet another boyfriend she won't leave despite the fact that he's made it perfectly clear he doesn't want to be used for an affair. Why should he trust her again, if she keeps doing the same thing, and she doesn't respect him enough to keep him out of it?

Jess is not Christopher Hayden. He is not going to accept a fling with his high school girlfriend at any costs. He also does not want to be involved in a cheating situation and has made it clear on prior occasions that he doesn't want to be involved in an affair or be her sidepiece. Why would he willingly sacrifice his dignity, his self respect, the nice life he has built on his own for her when she's not willing to give anything back? He would not give up any of the other things he has worked for. Logan and Dean may be up for an affair at any time, but Jess isn't like them and he shouldn't have to be. After all, where did these affairs lead Dean and Logan? Dean's marriage ends up destroyed and the Rogan affair baby is likely going to torpedo Logan's engagement. It's definitely in Jess's best interest to stay away from all that noise.

And for Rory's part, maybe it's in her best interest to have a stable relationship for a year where she DOESN'T cheat. It's actual moral progress for her to apologize when she's hurt someone who trusted her and to honor her commitments for once. She doesn't HAVE to become her parents. Trying sanity for a change might be good for her, and if she and Jess are going to rebuild some actual trust, it's probably better for them to do that as friends first.

(Of course, this character development doesn't last because ASP hates that shit, but that's not the point here. If the story was allowed to exist outside of her, it could have).

That said, would I have liked to see Jess in season 7 and a possible season 8? Yes, but not as part of any more love triangle bullshit. He can spend time with Luke, with his mom, he can meet his little sister, we can see a little more of his life in Philly. We don't know what Jess and Liz's dynamic is actually like, we don't know how he would deal with a sibling that is a do-over baby, we don't know his opinion of the Luke and Lorelai soap opera or how he seems to have become Luke's confidante instead of Liz's by the AYITL era. Rory is not necessary for any of that and he has an identity and a relationship with his family outside of her. I would love to see that stuff as opposed to the "Rory jerks her two love interests around because she can't make up her mind" disaster so many other fans seem to have lamented they didn't get (again).

And if her relationship ends and she is stable, single, uninterested in cheating, and willing to focus only on Jess? Then a reconciliation would be fine. However, I do not want that to come at the cost of Jess's well being and sanity (or hers, were she able to achieve it). If Jess could only maintain his happy ending by being offscreen, then he should get to keep that. The alternative where ASP screws everything up again is not a better option.

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Rustic pumpkins, poppy honey tea leaves, and wild talismans in the Baozhou Forest

The Baoshou Forest is said to be home to many lost and wandering spirits who need a place to stay while they figure things out before finally crossing over into the afterlife. Since her family has been performing rituals for the deceased for generations, Tao pretty much knows the forest like the back of her hand. She always keeps some items in hand to help a wandering spirit out, either by helping them sort out affairs, perform a ceremony to give them closure, or just be there for them when they need to get a lot off their chest.

Like her predecessors, she too is a regular visitor in the forest, someone a wayward spirit can turn to when they need guidance. Although she doesn’t always have an answer, Tao does her best to help out. Sure, she may seem quirky in a morbid and creepy lighthearted way that often rubs people the wrong way, but I think you kinda have to be like that when your family’s line of work is dealing with death. It’s not like she’s desensitized or is like “tee-hee, death and coffins, lol we’re all gonna die someday,” - more like her “normal” is clearly different, so her openly talking and even joking about death isn’t unusual, but to others, they see it as weird, and maybe even insensitive.

She’s used to it though, so it’s not a big deal since it’s usually coming from those who don’t know her well. However, she does try to be tactful, and she takes her duties seriously when it comes to burying the dead and sending them off to the afterlife. Some find her a walking contradiction, she says she doesn’t get it because people are complex and fascinating creatures. I agree, some people just don’t get it - or maybe they just prefer thinking in terms of black and white.

Before coming up here, we actually stopped by Meishui Village to meet up with some of Sophea’s clients. Shuyi and Lifeng live up there, which is considered unusual since it’s the countryside, and Lifeng’s family are in Yuexing Harbor - so that’s a bit of a commute. Somehow, Lifeng’s sister is able to go back and forth a couple times a week, though now that the engagement’s official, she’s making arrangements to move closer by.

We didn’t get to meet her unfortunately, but I’ve heard a lot of good things about her, like how she’s taken Shuyi under her wing and giving her the love and support her own family never gave her. She was the one who recommended Sophea when Shuyi found out that her father forged her mother’s will, taking away what little she had left behind that was supposed to be rightfully hers and keeping that for himself. Her father had resented his first wife and eldest daughter, and because Shuyi also happens to be disabled, he used that to justify his abuse towards her, which is really fucked up. His second wife and daughter treated her the same way, with absolutely no compassion or kindness towards her.

So her parents made a fool of themselves in court, failing to convince the public why people like Shuyi should be hidden away from the world for not being useful enough for society and a bunch of other bullshit. By then, Shuyi had been living with Lifeng for several months and was learning how to stand up for herself, so she surprised everyone by telling her father off when he threw a temper tantrum over the final verdict. That turned out to be the last time she ever saw her parents as they committed suicide that night, refusing to take responsibility and cursing Shuyi until the very end.

As for Shuyi’s younger sister from her father’s second marriage, she had disappeared when her parents were found dead. Months earlier, she attempted to sabotage Shuyi and Lifeng in some last ditch attempt to elevate her family’s failing status. It failed, and the consequences were dire as the Yulin clan fell even further. Those events actually led to Shuyi meeting her mother’s family and discovering the will as she was finally able to freely contact them. Around that time, Yan had been exiled somewhere in the mountains for a community service type of thing such as cleaning up litter and tending to the plants. She remained there until a few days before the final verdict, presumably taken away by her parents.

When her parents were found, a search was conducted, though it was believed that Shuyi’s sister was likely dead too. But with no body, it was all circumstantial, and the authorities kinda left it at that because it seemed kinda straightforward. Not to mention that by then, Shuyi just wanted to sever her ties with her family completely, which is totally understandable.

Then a few weeks ago, her sister suddenly showed up out of nowhere when Shuyi and Lifeng’s sister went to the forest to pick poppy honey leaves. Shuyi wandered off near the river to pick some lotuses when her sister confronted her. She almost didn’t recognize her, describing her as a once beautiful girl with an extravagant fashion sense - so basically, a superficial rich girl who likes to show off by flaunting her looks - to looking disheveled and wearing old, worn clothes while having a look of pure anger in her eyes that gave her chills.

Next thing she knew, her sister grabbed her by the shoulders to the point that she woke up the next day with her left side bruised and sore. Shuyi wasn’t sure if she was trying to push her in the river or if her sister’s hands were gonna move to her throat. Part of the reason why Shuyi wears a somewhat elaborate necklace is to cover the scars from when her sister strangled her - that same incident that got her banished to the mountains.

Like her parents, Shuyi’s sister also screamed curses at her, blaming her for her current predicament and the sorry state of their family’s name. Shuyi somehow managed to break away from her sister’s grip and told her to leave. She didn’t listen and started pulling at Shuyi, who fought back for the first time, which probably threw her sister off guard. So she got angrier and even more violent, forcing Shuyi to act in self defense by pushing her into the water where they both went down just as Lifeng’s sister was about to intervene.

Shuyi wound up with a mild concussion from hitting her head when she fell. Her sister wasn’t as lucky and died from her injuries when she landed on a bunch of sharp rocks. The whole thing wound up being anticlimactic, which is probably for the best. Shuyi can’t help but wonder if her sister was trying to get a rise out of her on purpose because she felt it was different from all the other times she taunted and bullied her. After all, when you have nothing left to lose, some people just flip out and say or do whatever because they know they’re going down and refuse to accept that. Basically like throwing a tantrum, except it’s a grown ass person who can’t take no for an answer and makes that everyone’s problem.

Well, what’s done is done and Shuyi can finally leave her past behind for good. She’s a lot happier now that she’s no longer in their shadows and instead surrounded by people who genuinely love and accept her, shortcomings and all. And not only that, they also treat her like an actual, living human being with feelings and thoughts rather than some object to be ridiculed or talked down at. I’d say good riddance - the world doesn’t need anymore people like them.

Through Sophea, Shuyi and Cerise became good friends as they have a lot in common, especially in terms of growing up with a shitty family who saw them as nothing but a burden because of their disabilities. They’ve both taken a couple pages from each other’s books in terms of gathering up the courage how to stand up for themselves and live life on their own terms. They can’t help being who they are and if some people can’t accept that, seeing them as a burden on society and whatnot - well, like it or not, disabled people exist and they are a part of society, just like any other human being.

Along with Cerise, Saff and Nikolai stopped by to meet up with Shuyi, Sophea, and Lifeng too. Sophea was a great help to the three of them when people from their past started digging up skeletons in order to discredit their accomplishments. Although the three of them came from different walks of life, they wound up being an adventurer team thanks to a chance meeting at a bar on a crowded night that somehow turned into a drunken therapy session - the one common thread bringing them together was the fact that they were tired of being constantly fucked over by close ones who they thought they could trust.

Tao has also become well acquainted with the adventuring trio during her excursions to the Baozhou Forest. In fact, the four of them made a trip up there last week to hang up some talismans after hearing complaints from locals about a spike in unusual supernatural activity in a certain area. Stuff like that happens once in a while, so if it starts to become a concern, the adventurer’s guild usually finds someone to take care of it.

At first, Tao picked that commission out of boredom, only to find out that it wasn’t just talismans, but some restless spirits who needed guidance as well - and monsters lurking in the darkness acting strange for unknown reasons. A quick visit to check out the situation told her to bring some extra hands because there’s no way she’d be able to fight a bunch of agitated monsters, set up talismans, and perform rites all by herself. Yeah, there’s no way anyone can get all that done in a day - even someone as energetic as her.

Then on the way home, she stopped by Meishui, where she ran into Nikolai, Saff, and Cerise. They talked, she told them about the situation in the forest, and they offered to accompany her. The three of them happen to be well versed with the supernatural - Nikolai and Saff being seasoned adventurers while most of Cerise’s knowledge comes from a mentor when she was in school, someone who hailed from a family of exorcists and taught her the basics on that. So Nikolai and Saff did most of the monster fighting while Tao and Cerise dealt with the restless spirits. Together, they were able to find the source that was causing the unrest and put a stop to that. Finally, once all of that was done, Tao performed a ceremony, and they put talismans around the area. All in a good day’s work.

About a week has gone by, and so they went back up there to check and make sure that there were no further disturbances or anything else that would be concerning. So far, so good - nothing out of the ordinary has happened and the talismans are still in good condition. Since they made the trip up here, why not take it easy and hang around for a bit? Along with poppy honey flowers, rustic pumpkins are in season too, so aside from visiting some friends, we also wanted to visit the forest for that.

Rustic pumpkins are kinda like a hybrid between kabocha and butternut squash. They’re known as rustic pumpkins because they’re popular outside of Yuexing. It’s mostly the elders that call them their actual name, which is hard to pronounce, and with English being the common language, it just somehow became known as rustic pumpkins.

I’m no linguist but I do find languages in general to be fascinating. Somehow that doesn’t translate well into motivating me to actually get down and really learn a language (Khmer, ahem). And in the Celestine Onyx, which is a sort of jurisdiction of seven different countries with their own languages, cultures, and customs, it’s interesting getting to know the people there and how they’re all kinda interconnected with each other.

In terms of languages, English is the common language because that’s how they’re able to communicate with each other. Then there’s also their second language, which to simply things I’ll just call it their native tongue, and that’s widely spoken, usually among locals, and that too has its own regional differences. So in Yuexing, it’s Mandarin, Sango -Japanese, Marippe - French, Adrikha - Arabic, Sazona - Spanish, Melovka - Russian. Then in Bonsai, it’s kinda a mix of everything. And usually, in the bigger cities or places where you’d generally find more travelers, they mainly speak English. Then in places like Meishui, it’s kinda like 50/50, so you’d hear conversations in English - usually among the younger folk - and Mandarin - usually between family or the elders.

Anyway, so rustic pumpkins have many uses, though they’re more for dishes outside of Yuexing culture. Rustic pumpkin and salmon pie is well known in Marippe, which is to the northeast, and that takes elements from the cuisine of both cultures. They’re both known for seafood, though they obviously prepare and serve it in different ways. A while ago, I heard a funny story about Ruby getting caught off guard by the amount of chilis in a shrimp dish she tried in Yuexing while on a mission with Connie and her brothers. Thanks to her experience, Aurelie was careful to avoid a similar incident as she too can’t take spice too well either - Yuexing cuisine really goes hard on the heat! Also, Xiang making mods to her own spin on various dishes she grew up eating or else most of us - myself included - wouldn’t be able to enjoy her country’s food.

Then there’s poppy honey flowers, which are mainly used for tea. And like with Marippe, tea’s big here in Yuexing, which they also have their own spin on. Me being Asian, I kinda have a bias for Asian teas, like the kinds that don’t need milk or sugar added in. Not that I’m a purist or anything, I just grew up drinking tea like that and I prefer drinking it that way - with exceptions being like boba tea, or if maybe the tea has no flavor or is way too strong, aka not good. Marippe has good teas too, and it’s made me appreciate tea with milk, cream, sugar, and other sweet add ons that can elevate a tea, but overall, I think I tend to gravitate towards teas that don’t need anything added to it.

Poppy honey tea is a black tea with a natural sweetness to it, so no need to add anything to that. Soy milk may be added if the black tea flavor’s a bit too strong - again, down to personal preferences. For me, I don’t think it’s necessary. I’m a black tea girlie, so I’m a bit biased towards Yuexing, Sango, and Adrikha. Green tea’s good too, but I think I’m more into matcha. White, I think it depends, I just kinda find the flavor lacking in general. And fruity or floral teas, I’m kinda picky about them as they can be a hit or miss. Strong floral flavors aren’t my jam while fruit teas I find taste better iced and with some sweetener.

We kinda had a debate on whether we’re team black tea or green tea, and we ended up in the middle. I’d say why pit these two bad bitches against each other? (Ignore my black tea bias earlier). Poppy honey is used mainly for black tea, though it’s popular with green tea too, though that’s mainly outside of Yuexing. Both are good, though, and I like having options because sometimes your preferences depend on what you’re in the mood for.

Right now, I’m in the mood for black tea because, I don’t know, something about being out here in the countryside makes it feel suitable for the occasion.

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[yesthatsatumbler]

hey ill send you an ask! hows it going? post your favourite coin

Thanks!

Not much is happening TBH? Or at least to the extent that stuff is happening, in the short-to-medium term, I don't know what to say about it without some much more precise prompts on what exact kind of stuff you're interested in. I went to a beach today I guess? (And in the medium-to-long term things are too uncertain to say much about yet; too much depends on what would happen in places I don't really have influence over.)

I've moved to another country in 2022 because everyone was abandoning (and/or putting active sanctions on) my previous country due to a deeply unpopular war (that I didn't even vote for) and I was worried about being conscripted (and also for family reasons but the conscription thing was probably the main reason). Then in 2023 I saw my new country start its own (slightly less deeply) unpopular war that made approximately everyone abandon it, and I didn't really have any more places to go to... but at least I knew I didn't have to worry about being conscripted, and ongoing US support (and a long tradition of relative self-sufficiency, even if mostly for religious reasons) means that the sanctions are barely noticeable so far.

Not counting circulation finds, I had bought a grand total of about ten coins for my collection since October 2022. (I've received a few hundred more as gifts from friendly relatives.)

Favorite coin... it's a really hard question, you know! I don't recall your criteria/preferences for good coins offhand, and maybe if I knew them (I think I've seen them posted at some point...) I'd figure out which of my coins was the best fit for those. But also maybe that's not the right question to ask anyway.

For what it's worth, as of the moment I started writing this response, the first coin I thought of was that one silver coin I accidentally got for way under its true value because it was in such perfect condition that I thought it was probably made of aluminium (and accidentally confused it with a vaguely similar aluminium type while initially looking it up, though I don't recall whether that happened before or after I decided that it couldn't possibly be silver), and the dealer knew even less about those coins than I did, so he believed me and lowballed the price.

Then I figured out what went wrong and posted that on a forum, and it was a whole mess, and I eventually came clean to the dealer, and IIRC he basically said something to the effect of "I mean I didn't invest in it much either, happy that it's with someone who at least knows what it is". (Then I proceeded to buy a semi-key-date Barber quarter from him for under melt - and this time I did ask several times if he was sure about the price. I miss that guy.)

Yemen - North Mutawakkilite Kingdom (1918-62) Yahya Muhammad Hamid ed-Din (r. 1918-48) AR 1/10 (Imadi) riyal 1362 or 1364 AH? = 1943 or 1945 AD? Y# 5.5, Numista 39981 (my coin is currently the page example)

"Wait, if the coin is in such great condition, then how could there be an uncertainty in the date?"

That's because it's an overdate! The 6 is engraved over a 4 (that is, ٦ over ٤ - you can see both shapes here, but the 4 is mostly obscured), and the last digit is either 4 over 2, or 2 over 4 - but both of the ٤ (4) and ٢ (2) shapes are strong enough that it's hard to tell which was there first, and of course both 1364/42 and 1362/44 are chronologically possible.

The references (i.e. Krause) include 1362/44 (though I've never seen an example labeled as such), but not 1364/42, as a possible option; they do, however, have 1364/43, for which the NGC World Coin Price Guide provides this example... an exact die match to my coin.

Unfortunately, a comparison of their coin and mine makes it clear that the supposed "3" is almost certainly a misreading; a combination of wear (flattening out the relevant area) and what appears to be a slight crack (?) gives the digit ٢ (2) a seeming extra bump at the top, making it look like ٣ (3). On my coin there is no bump and the digit can only be read as 2.

I've been uncertain over the years I've had this coin over whether it's actually dated 1364 (1945 AD) or 1362 (1943 AD), though I tended to default to the former. I thought that this is entirely unknowable, but now that I think about it, it might theoretically be possible to find a match to the pre-rework die, and see if it says 1342 or 1344? But there's not a lot of those 1/10 riyal coins depicted online in the first place, and none of the ones I could find seem to match this die - and of course there's no reason to assume that the die as originally made was used to mint coins at all, as opposed to being some kind of unneeded surplus that got reused two decades later.

...Comparing the styles, I think 1344 (and consequently 1362) is more plausible, but I can't be very sure. But at least now I've figured out at least a theoretical possibility for how it could eventually be known what it actually is?

Numismatics is complicated.

(Maybe some day I'll actually write up my extensive post on a possible reattribution of the monogram AE4 type traditionally attributed to the usurper Leontius... I was a good way in before I discovered that the question was treated in far more detail, with far more examined examples, in a Swiss article from 2020. Of course the article is [mostly] in Italian, and IIRC it did not raise some of the points I noticed, so maybe it is worth writing out my version as well. TL/DR: it's probably not Leontius, but it's hard to say who it might be, and the only other historical attribution for the type makes the Leontius option look sane.)

...Sorry for the long and rambling post. I think I had another point to make in here but if so I've completely forgotten what it was.