#you might hate me for some scenes tho oops

[youmarin]

jjk debut fic loading (I still need a name and to edit it but it's like +21k so it will take a while).

[blitzwhore]

That ask you got made me realize that Blitzø and Stolas both show 4 of those 5 responses at various points, which I think is very interesting. I really never thought about it before but that's actually pretty impressive bc it never seems "out of character" for them. I think Blitzø leans more towards fight tho we see a lot of fawning from him too, and I think Stolas leans more towards fawn but I guess Blitzø really did make him feel braver bc he shows a lot of fight too.

Fight: Blitzø in FM ballroom + after Striker steals the phone from Stolas + both fighting with and saving Fizz in Oops // Stolas confronting Stella on his balcony + most of his interactions with Striker in WE + most of his scenes in Truth Seekers

Flight: Blitzø avoiding Stolas once things got complicated + not giving Fizz the love letter // Stolas in FM hallway + trying to escape Striker in the café

Fawn: Blitzø to the client in Murder Family + in FM bedroom + trying to talk to Loona in Seeing Stars about her people skills // Stolas when Blitzø comments on his Ozzie's outfit + to Stella in LLL + in a lot of his texts to Blitzø post-Ozzie's

Freeze: both freeze up in Ozzie's + potentially Stolas in the FM ballroom bc we don't see him move except to flinch until the very end but that might just be him forcing himself to stop running

Listing it out like that also made me realize that those two spend a good chunk of the series some degree of scared, nervous, or feeling unsafe. These poor guys 😭😭

Yeah, once you start to think about how present their trauma is in their lives, you can't help but notice that they're both extremely traumatised and broken people. It's really sad, and really well done, in my opinion.

I really like how complex they both are and how many different symptoms of trauma they show—both survival reactions like the ones listed here, and just their thoughts and fears and how they handle their relationships.

What's really interesting and compelling to me is how similar they are despite how different their lives have been. And how the more episodes come out, the more obvious this becomes.

Like, up until now, we knew that Stolas often fawned to keep the peace for fear of being a burden or making others uncomfortable, like he did in his text messages to Blitz, and in Ozzie's when he immediately agreed to leave when Blitz said so. And we knew that Blitz hated himself, that his biggest fear was dying alone, that he couldn't even bear to look at his own face in pictures.

And then, in The Full Moon, we get Blitz going into an extremely childish and heartbreaking fawn spiral with his "I can always do better", making himself smaller, smiling, wagging his tail. And we get Stolas covering every single picture (and item) in his house, and then taking the time to uncover Via so she's visible, but not himself. And we get Stolas terrified of dying alone.

And to me, this conveys really well how no one's trauma is worse than others', how no traumatised person is more or less broken or hurt than the rest, how there's no "lesser" trauma. How traumatised people can't be neatly divided into "people who become sensitive and weak" and "people who develop thick skin". How your trauma may present differently and uniquely depending on the circumstances, but deep down the truth is always that you were deeply hurt, and you can't bear to be hurt again, and your life has become a constant cycle of trying (and failing, due to self-fulfilled prophecies) to avoid going through that pain again.

Truly, masterfully done ❤️

[igbylicious]

Hey might have accidently sent an ask prematurely ahem not at all embarrassing but you already know I'm writing this at an extremely late time welp this was always bound to happen (T.T) As I was saying... I bow at your brilliance, honestly. You did so well with yet another chapter of what I hope is a never-ending fic at this point because these chapters drops hype me up more than you could know.

HE'S THEIR SANNIE IM GOING TO BURST HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO MY POOR HEART. Also, I can't blame the reader for simping it's the san effect, really. And woo, the precious boy was doing so well. I just got so emo over it FOR NO REASON. well, the reason was because san was getting emo about it, and AS AN EMPATH- *gun shot noises*

I digress, weird sense of humour humor aside, I truly truly can't express how this chapter changed smth in my brain chemistry. I also love whenever we get mentions of reader having a ~body~ a very well loved one too!!

I'm wondering how much the fic changed from the original plan since you keep adding chapters. Like, was this play session already what you envisioned when you started your plan to write this? It's been truly so much fun to watch it evolve. Do the characters in your head influence the chapters, or do you just get inspiration and feel like it would fit them?? Also, do you ever feel tempted to write from woosan's pov?? Idk I'd like a tour of their minds too. I swear I can just keep pelting you with questions like this till my own fingers wear down from typing. I hope your pillow is always cool on both sides and for you to have a lovely day/night/week/month/LIFE. you deserve it!! 💚💚💚💚

lol dw abt the double ask! (≧◡≦) ♡ and sorry abt the tears and the extra laundry asdjkdaskjadsjk i am frantically handing you tissues (sorry i just hate doing laundry so much asdkjdaskj you’re on your own for that one 🙏)

NO BUT THE SAN SIMP EFFECT IS SO REAL 〒▽〒

Reader: hmm am i feeling a lil bratty today maybe? (¬‿¬ ) San:

Reader: …nevermind 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

(tho tbf there are ALSO plenty of San pics that make me want to misbehave real bad lol. the man’s got the range ♨_♨)

Woo was absolute best boi!!! listen i gotchu i get emo abt him too he just takes it all like a fucking champ and he trusts San SO much („ಡωಡ„)

omg putting the answers to your questions under a cut bc it got kinda long oop <_< tysm for giving me a ramble excuse!!! (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

the basic scenario of reader and Wooyoung being tied up together is pretty similar to what i originally planned; but the *mood* of the scene is very different

when i first outlined the story, there was no non-sexual bondage; instead i had a vague idea abt Wooyoung still feeling guilty abt overstepping, and that he wanted to work out that guilt through bdsm.

so i had thoughts abt focusing the scene on San paying a lot of attention to reader while Wooyoung gets completely ignored as punishment — and he wouldn’t have permission to cum until she decided he deserved to uwu

but smth abt it all didn’t sit right w/ me from early on, and while writing the Woo/reader lunchdate i realised that she would 100% be uncomfortable w/ being used to punish Woo in *this* specific scenario since she has her own guilt abt that! (also; i felt like this’d be at a stage of their relationship that you gotta talk through some stuff, not fuck through it lol) so i pivoted, added the non-sexual bondage, and it turned into this!

(but if you feel robbed of some spicy moments now; no worries! Woo needing reader’s permission to cum & San ignoring Woo while he fucks the reader have been incorporated in the plans for different chapters (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧)

whether the characters influence the chapters; yes to some extent!

i really am a plantser at heart; i need to know where a fic is going & i need a few solid anchor points between beginning and end; but i also really need empty space to fill up details as i go along, which is usually influenced by what feels ‘right’ for the characters ♡

like; i knew from day 1 that Woo was going to break the no kissing rule, and i knew it would lead to a ‘conflict’ that’d end up strengthening their relationship, but i figured out the exact details along the way (again the their lunchdate did a lot of heavy lifting! writing that scene solidified SO MUCH for me abt Woo & reader’s deal)

now, abt Woosan pov…

the next chapter actually opens w/ San! (but um… you might not thank me for that >_>) i want to do a Woo pov somewhere too, which *might* also happen in the next chapter, but i’m still kindof feeling out what the best spot is ^^

(also i have like half a prequel drabble written down abt the first time Woo brought San flowers home from work (◕‿◕✿) i’m obv focused on the main story for now, but i’d love to finish that after the fic itself is done ^^)

ahhhhhhhhhhh sincerely thankyousomuch for all the amazingly sweet words and for letting me ramble!!! it’s fun to talk abt the ‘behind the scenes’ so to speak hehe („• ֊ •„)

[faenemy]

Hii don't mind me, just wanted to ramble abt Mark and friends series in ur ask box cuz why not :3 (you've drawn fanart of them b4 btw!)

SO LETS START OFF WITH SOME CONTEXT. Mark and friends is a completed series on YouTube made by this guy ashur gharavi, it follows the story of Mark blah blah i can't talk in this format snymore I need to go silly mode holf on. SO MARK IS GHIS 'LITTLE MONSTER' KID RIGHT, AND ANOTHER CHARACTER IS BILLY WHO IS AN ADUKT HUMAN. SO THE SERIES IS KINDA LIKE A KIDS CARTOON BUT WITH BLOOD AND MURDER. BILLY KIDNAPPED MARK AND FORCED HIM TO DO STUFF FOR CAMERA. AS THE SERIES GO ON, THERE WILL BE LITTLE HINTS IN THE FORM OF NEWSPAPER OF LIKE WHATS ACTUALLY GOING ON AND WHY HES FOING THIS. READ EVERY SINGLE BACKGROUND NEWSPAPER EVEN IF IT DOESNT FEEL IMPORTANT, THE LITTLE DETAILS ARE SOOOO GOOD. MARK IS LIKE 10 YEARS OLD AND HES LITERALLY SO CUTE, HE DONT DESERVE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENWD TO HIM. IM NOT GONNA SPOIL THE ENDING FOR U, CUZ ITS LITERALLY SO GOOD I REMEMBWR WHEN I FIRST WATCHED IT AND THE ENDINV IS JUST SO PULLING MY HEAET STRINGS AND LIKE SUCH A TENSE SCENE YK. ITS LITERALLY SO GOOD, THERE ARE 3 COMPILATIONS OF IT (PART 1,2 AND 3) I THINK ITS LIKE 2 HOURS LONG PLEASE PLEASE WATCH IT (ONLY IF U WANNA OFC NO PRESSURE) I LOVE THE CHARACTERS SO MUCH THEYRE SO WELL WRITTEN, I HATE BILLY BUT I LOVE HOW WELL HIS CHARACTER AND MANIPULATION IS WRITTEN HES SO FUCKING CRUEL. I LOVE HOW ASHUR ISNT AFRAID TO JUST FUCKIMG MAKE HIM DO TERRIBLE AWFUL SHIT. I LOVE IT SO MJCH ITS SO CREATIVE I LOVE MARK TOO, HWS SO CUTE I LOVE DRAWING HIM. OH AND ALSO, ITS CANON THAT TWOMP TAKES PLACE AFTERRR THAT SERIES AND MARK IS FRIENDS WITH ARGOS AND MR PLANT. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEYRE SO UGHHHHH. THE ACTOR IS EYE CANDY TOO HES SO COOL. PLEASE WATCH IT ILL GIVE U A COOKIE IF U DO (AGAIN, ONLY IF U WANNA THO NO PRESSURE) :3

SOME PICTURES ^^

(This ask wasn't proofread btw)

HI HI HI Thank you for the ask box rambles I love them <3

Definitely did not go and binge the whole series, nope, not me

ANYWAY MY RAMBLINGS AS I WATCHED AND THOUGHTS UNDER CUT

I love this little green guy!

Marks parents seem to be murdered (go figure)

I'm assuming he was kidnapped in an ice cream truck/van??

Mark is kept in a cage without an actual bed it seems, at least when he isn't on camera

Are the puppets the actual children, or do they just represent them?

Mark keeps rubbing his side/stomach, maybe where his kidney was removed??

Child star shows an actual person so kidnapper might have started as a child star?

Grandma knows her kiddo is still alive (GET HIS ASS)

Is the plant guy who killed Big Monster Mr plant?

Donovan escapes???

Cupcake monster gets killed (very sadge)

WHY THE FUCK DID THEY PUT TOMATOES IN A FRUIT SALAD??? JAIL!!!!

apparently monsters are edible, might be some cannibali going on?

Also humans are considered monsters in this world

In "cooking" the newspaper is obscured, but it seems to read (missing childs body found, but not his head) Cupcake Monster???

UPDATE DEFO CUPCAKE MONSTER NOOOOOO

No Illinois, Minnesota or Indiana

Maybe the other kids were from Minnesota and Indiana, since Mark is from Illinois?

Aight my man was defo the child star, I'm assuming he is repeatimg the crimes of big monster???

Oop so search led to Indiana, snap my prior theory lol

Big monsters cousin changes last name

Frame lasted long on that, so I assume it's important

I keep forgetting Billy's name LMAO

Big monster and sewer? Seems like an It reference

So they're near Michigan now, noted

WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME :(((( I luv paper bag dog NOOOOOO

Mark seems more vocal and challeging billy more now

Billy straight up gave the kids psychedelics my god

Someone save the child pls

Donovan my beloved is traumatized:((((

Oooooh the photos in the background are crying now, I think those are Marks parents?

Mr plant defo killed Big Monster, king shit

OOOOOH

okay so kid star (johnny) met with big monster in the sewer, got murdered

But Billy was the one who encouraged him to, Billy was going to star in the movie before Big Monster was convicted. So he was the kid who was crying in the article because his role was dropped

NOOOOOO MARK IS ADDICTED TO DRUGS

Get HIS ASS GRANDMA

I can't read the teleprompter, get this dude some glasses.

Just remembered how Mark cannonicly has his photos taken???? And sold I think??? Wtf???

Donovan had started a charity:((( he thinks his friends are gone

The date on the newspaper in the back keeps changing

Can I fight Billy??? I think I could take him easy

Mark straight up ate a razor blade get this kid a doctor

OH MY GOSH THEY'RE GOING TO THE DOCTOR

APOLLO HAS BLESSED ME

the eye test in the back reads "Mark has one more week before I kill him" if my new son dies I riot

Can I adopt Mark

Goal list; dispose, replace, repeat

I wonder if there are other shows featuring Donovan and Cupcake Monster?

Why were they kidnapped?

Befriend that strange man??? NOOOO

Did my son just kill Billy???? HELL YEAH

RUN BOY RUN

MY SON IS SAFE!!!!

In conclusion, I would like to adopt Cupcake Monster, they are now my child. I would also like to punch Billy repeatedly :D

[star-mum]

Criminal Minds 3x5 - Live Star Reaction

I have a lil list now of Sunny’s favorite episodes from the season, so I will be doing a lot more CM “postage” <33

Okay at first I thought it was an airport oops

Fun fact ! I almost got lost on a mall once as a kid, my aunt was with me trying clothes in this store and forgot I was with her ? And left when she was done? (8yo me had enough common sense to stay put and wait near women) she came back looking for me soon but still, that’s a memory I had forgotten for a while 🤭😗

The aunt called but she’s not here (?)

A joystick controller ???? Also Garcia taking charge 👀 hello

Oh there there the rest of the family is

ALRIGHT I HAVE 5 MINS OF CONTENT, TIME FOR SOME DETECTING

- person was taller than Kate but not necessarily an adult, could be an older teen

- Either someone she knows or who doesn’t look necessarily threatening (could be a woman?)

Why is the uncle blaming his son ???? Sir yOURE THE ADULT ????

I know this family is going through hell right now but all these adults are so unlikeable, ALSO they’re giving me weird vibes (the husbands specially)

Obviously the girls mom is worried something like the Jessica Davis murder might happen to her daughter, she’s sobbing but the dad ? He’s so calm, physically and they’re both SO INTERESTED in that murder (would a parent really want to know the horrors that might happen to their child in detail, like this man just asked to hear)

Why is the uncle trying to DERAIL THIS INVESTIGATION ???? Maybe she’s “just lost” ?????

Are they in on it somehow ? The “tries to insert themselves in the investigation” is so fucking ingrained in my brain, maybe that’s what the dad is trying to do about the JD situation

I hate when the EP name becomes significant 🙃

“Something else lured her away from the arcade” We did see that pink balloon !

“Why would you say I taught her well and not we taught her well?” Considering that she’s probably a stay at home mom ? If any one parent is teaching Katie is her mom?

“We’re not participating in any affairs” ...that you know of, thats kinda the point of an affair

OKAY! I’m even more inclined to the possibility of the unsub being another an older kid, if Katie did have issues with a classmate/friend an older sibling could’ve taken great offense to it

Also the necklace ? It’s very expensive gift and I’m assuming her birthday is either coming up or just happened (cause of that first scene) so maybe she got it as a gift from someone who told her to keep it a secret, that’s why she told her parents she found it

The unsub didn’t want the necklace tho, they didn’t take it they threw it away (maybe they’re angry at Katie for having it, maybe “she doesn’t “deserve” it?)

Okay wait wait wait, we’re just a little after halfway through the episode, and theyre pretty much sure Katie was being molested by her uncle (and his son probably knew something about it or was hurt too) and i just WANT TO PUT THIS OUT THERE ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT IM RIGHT

When the they just lost track of Katie’s scent, it was because a vent from the food court was confusing the dogs and I thought to myself “huh maybe the unsub knows a lot about this mall, maybe they went there on purpose just in case, also they kept themselves just shy of the camera view AND who mentioned having worked retail a long time ? The aunt

I was gonna mention that to support my claim of it being a tween (this person doesn’t need to work in the mall, just spend a lot of time there, and in this suburban of a town? Malls are The Hangout Spot)

Anyways this is just in case the uncle had nothing to do with it, cause he was acting really weird the entire time (the dad was as well)

OH MY GOD WHAT IF THE COUSIN WAS HURTING KATIE ???? OH MY GOD, IS THIS WHAT REID IS GETTING AT ???

JESSICA DAVIS MAYBE ???? Sunny you were right to send this one my way, this is insane

I’m pretty sure I have said every possibility but if any of them are right, I’m an evil genius

If they’re all wrong, Im a humble genius

I know they’re “officers of the law” and what not but god do i wish they could beat up pedophiles (and Im sure they would agree)

MOTHERFUCKER I WAS RIGHT AAAAAA LETS FUCKING GOOOOO

And the reason why I figured something out was THE SAME THING THAT EMILY REALIZED

Idk how easy this one was to find out but I feel pretty smart right now : 3

Literally holy fucking shit, Emily should get to deck this lady out

AND SHES THE ONE WHO CALLED THE POLICE !!!!

That was the most satisfying scene to watch, I wish Prentiss had yelled more at her actually, I wished she slammed the table, thrown a chair around

THEY PULLED A GREYS ANATOMY ON ME !! THEY PLAYED SAD MUSIC ON TOP OF A MONTAGE TO MAKE ME THINK THAT LITTLE GIRL WAS DEAD

Really fucking good episode, holy shit

I think I would’ve been forever fucked in the head if Katie died so good she didn’t

[heyitsyn]

Keeping Up With Seijoh Pt. 10

a/n: based on this post uwu

okayokayokayyeyyy

LOOOK I LOVE THIS SCENE LIKE I CAN GO ON A RANT OF HOW IMPORTANT THIS SCENE IS LIKE SKDJSLDKKSSM

okay so

yuhhhhhh

the way this is set up is basically seijoh simping for you

also they have their own separate gc just for them bc they dont want you to see them just simping for you

even tho oiks ltr does that everyday

but hes not ready for that conversation

there was a few times that you were kinda curious as to what was in the chat

but they would click off and they would blush before diverting you to a different conversation

this might sound hella weird and creepy

idk bout yall but i think its cute that they take random pictures of you doing the sinplest things

this all started bc of one picture

from baby aki-kun

so basically you stayed behind with kunimi during monday to just study and you sat in front of him while sharing his desk

babie took a pic of you just studying and he sent it to the gc with no context

its a known fact that seijoh doesnt practice during mondays so they were all doing something out of school

but they were all missing you so seeing you with kunimi fueled jealousy in everyone

even kyo

oikawa blew up in the chat and was keyboard smashing

the others were just teasing him like hes lucky youre with him

but behind the screen, they were blushing and red and envious and AAAAA

thus spurred on some sort of competition

like they would send the chat pictures of you like 'hA TAKE THAT SHES WITH ME'

unbeknowst to you, these boys have folders of just cute candid pics of you

oikawas insta is filled of you and his snap is full of you in his story and his tiktok is full of screaming simp rants about you

the tiktok comments are all like, 

‘IS SHE YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!’

‘OIKAWA-SAN SHES ADORABLE’

‘BACK🤺OFF🤺OIKAWA🤺I🤺CALLED🤺DIBS🤺ON🤺HER🤺FIRST🤺‘

random ones like him doing a day in my life type of vids and you appearing and everyone can just see the small blush on his face and the bashful yet happy smile on his lips

its really adorable

but the real ones know that shes been appearing in his insta since day 1

moilk.bread.1

thats practically your account now 

welll,,,

its more of a fan account for you and a lot of people from aoba johsai follow that account since you dont have an official one yet so they all simp for you there

the pictures were all from everyone like the boyz group chat was a haven for your candids

you did think it was strange that the boys would constantly ask to take pictures with you and everyone was just trying to get a pic to have aesthetic couple pics w you

and they would put it as their wallpaper or lockscreen

IMAGINE THE BLUSH THEY WOULD GET WHEN COMPLETE STRANGERS WOULD ASK THEM IF THATS THEIR GIRLFRIEND

oooo i mentioned this in the post too that iwa and you went to the gym and you guys took a mirror pic

after, you didnt really like the gym bc its just hard yanno?

iwa went back and while he was setting up his weights and equipments, his gym buddy noticed his phone light up causing your picture to show up

'oh? is that your girlfriend, iwaizumi?'

duh he doesnt have a girlfriend so he was like 🤨 until he saw his phone

the lockscreen was blaringly bright and your 'couple pic' was showing with the notifications

totally not oikawa blowing up their group chat bc he was with you

ofc babie hajime got all flustered and he blushed before shaking his head

'n-no'

he mumbled and his buddy laughed before clapping his back

'well, you obviously like her so do somethinf about it before someone does'

dont you think he doesnt know that?

also with mattsun!

this mans works in a cute cafe that this old granny owns and this thought has been living in my head rent free

and he was working during the weekend at the cafe

there were other people there but granny loves him bc hes been working there sibce he was like 15 and she took care of him a lot

he was like a grandson

so while he was serving, this granny was manning the cashier and checking people out

issei's phone was there on the table behind the counter and it started glowing at the indication of the messages being received

'have a nice day-oh!'

she noticed it right there and she saw the picture on his lockscreen

you were probably being carried by him due to your levelness with his height and you were kissing his cheek while issei smiled brightly

that was a picture you both took during an outing at the mall and the sunset behind you was just perfect to take a picture in

poor granny was like 'oop dont look at the messages' so she turned it over to not go to his privacy

there again you were

it was a polaroid of you two and he was backhugging you at school

hint? 👀

askldfjlsdkf

she knew issei was a very handsome young man so there shouldnt have been a surprise that he would be dating someone

can we name this granny?

granny inko lol

okay so granny inko saw issei coming over to rest the serving board thing and she beckoned him over

mattsun nodded and leaned over the counter to see what she wanted only to be greeted with a flick to the forehead

‘oW what was that for?’

he whined while holding the spot

granny inko tutted disapprovingly before crossing her arms

‘youve been working all week this week when you could’ve taken time off to spend it with your pretty lady. is this how men are nowadays? didn’t i teach you right to treat women properly?’

duh baby mattsun was confused like O_O

‘wha?’

his dumb question made her grab the phone and place it on the counter in front of him

‘your girlfriend, child. women need attention constantly and as much as you want that money, is it worth losing that smile full of happiness?’

okay stop it granny im getting emotional

more like disagreeing bc that wouldnt put food on the table BUT ANYWAYS

baby issei was surprisingly embarassed and scratched his neck

‘um,, baa-chan,,,,, she’s not my girlfriend’

he flustered and gave her an awkward smile

granny inko shot him a confused look and tapped the phone

‘well, she looks like she is. and if not, better hurry your move, boy. girls that make men happy like that only comes as rare as a good scratch ticket’

LMAO 

i do not encourage gambling so please save your money kids

you know what

these boys do that just to actually feel like it

okay thats confusing so imma explain it in greater detail

whenever someone mistakes you as their girlfriend, it makes them feel like you are for that split second and its just an addicting feeling

its like what if you were their girlfriend?

i mean, youre already the whole team’s girlfriend but theyre greedy brats and just want you for themselves

ohohohohoh

kyo!!

kyo def has a selfie of you both with the doggie filter but it was actually you who took it while he was just staring at you in the background

that was his lockscreen for like the rest of his high school career

lol

anyways!!

he was actually in a fight and during it, his phone fell off to the ground and conveniently oikawa messaged causing it to light up

one of the thugs had their hands gripping kyo’s collar and was pushing him against the wall while the others were surrounding them

they saw the phone flash and kyo cursed at the terrible timing and he made a mental note on killing oikawa later

a guy picked it up and he smirked, seeing the pretty smile of a pretty girl

‘heh? whats this?’

kyotani pushed the guy who was holding him but other two surged towards him and held him tighter

their leader snatched the device and chuckled

‘oh. its that bitch from his school. what is it’

he snaps his fingers as he tries to remember before stopping

‘aha! l/n y/n!’

kyo growled

‘shut up!’

the guy grinned at him and tapped the phone against kyo’s chin

‘oh yea. i heard shes a cutie. most people here know her, kid. now we know shes connected to you and guess what. you cross us again, she’ll take your place as you are right now. orrrr, we can,,, use her as our pet. thats how she is in your team, right? so let us have a turn. maybe we can send you a pic, hm?’

yea no that wasnt happening

kyotani easily beat those people up after because even just saying that unleashes power he didnt know he had

‘bastard. youre lucky this is just a warning. you touch her and i will kill you’

he landed one last kick on the guy’s face before taking the phone and leaving

now he has to figure out how to hide the bruises

you fussed later and he didnt tell you the reason instead just saying they said something that made him angry

nah

you were a person he didnt want to disappoint and he knows how much it hurts you to see him in that state

that was one of the things he hated but loved at the same time

you were such an empath that you would treat him and wince as if you were the one feeling the pain instead of him

and it made him feel special

you were one of the few things he holds close and he would be damned if anything happened to you because of him

the group chat was actually just blowing up with more screaming and the third years yelling at each other with the first years just casually reading the texts

they were used to the arguments within the team and you would remain so naive with the whole thing

kunimi is the type to keep silent and he didnt really care about anyone getting angry if you were spending time with him

but he does get annoyed if you were with kindaichi because you three were a package lol

like when kindaichi and you were at the arcade, this kid walked all the way there just because he didnt want kindaichi to hog you to himself

duh you thought this was adorable and endearing bc they wanted to hang out w you

no LUV theyre greedy brats who gets jealous over yOU

OH

so like i mentioned before that you and makki would walk over to the bakery and you guys would buy food there and such

and its also canon in here that makki only shares his food with you and no one else lol

why?

because when you eat the puffs, you put one in each cheek and it makes you look so adorable like a squirrel

sorry but squirrels are so cute like AAAAA

makki takes so many pictures of you and a lot are surprise shots where your eyes would be wide with cheeks full of food

aaaaa so cute

like you and makki sat down on a bench in the park across the bakery and you excitedly dug in to your own treat

makki chuckled at your excitement but he placed his hand on you arm to stop you

‘y/n-chan. say aaa’

you lit up and let him put the puff in your mouth and thought he was done but was surprised when there were two

you happily chewed it and went back to looking at your treats

but makki interrupted you again by calling you out

‘princess~’

the nickname made your eyes widen with red painting your cheeks and the shutter of the camera made you realize what he did

‘makki-senpai!’

you whined and he laughed

makki had a lovestruck smile on his face and he wiped the bit of creme on the corner of your lip

‘gotta take care of my princess~’

STOPPPPP MY HEART? GONE MY SOUL? GONE HOTEL? TRIVAGO

OH MY GOD IM IN SUCH A MAKKI AND MATTSUN AND IWA AND OIKAWA AND THIRD YEARS IN GENERAL BRAIN ROT PLEASE HELP

but we gotta give love to the second years :’)

ive mentioned that watari is the only person to ever go into your house right?

well, he comes over to cook and such so you guys spend time making food for the team 

watari takes this opportunity to take pictures of you cooking and the group chat cries bc its so domestic and they all start having the same thoughts

they really said seijoh braincells

it was like seeing a glimpse of a possible future for them

you, wearing an apron, cooking on the stove with your hair thrown in whatever with baggy clothes

gosh

thats like you someday being their wife and waking up one morning to see you there cooking in the kitchen

oikawa swears he had a dream that night because of that picture and he continuously thanks watari for YEARS because of that picture

okay are you curious about the dream?

yuhhh

oikawa woke up in an unfamiliar bed in a foreign room 

he felt his bones crack when he stretched and his hand extended out to a side that was still quite warm

hm

somebody must be sleeping next to him

then he stood up, catching his reflection in the mirror in front of the bed

;)

why would there be a mirror there hmmmm????

ANYWAYS

he noticed he had a bigger build and his hair was longer

then came the itch of the facial hair that he swore wasnt there a minute ago

this guy even checked out his butt and to his surprise, wow

obviously he was confused and a part of him thought this was the future

tooru walked to the door to go into the hallway and concluded, yep, this was not his house

then he heard music being played somewhere and a mixture of voices coming from a room

sounded like a woman and children

he stops at the top of the stairs, suddenly hit of the thought that this voice was so familiar

‘hm?’

tooru walked downstairs and stopped when down the hallway in front of the steps led to the kitchen where the voices seemed to lead to

‘mama! mama! mama! toast! i wan toast!’

‘in a bit, darling. just let me finish flipping the pancake’

the song was lo-fi with the volume being turned low enough to hear the voices fine

tooru wandered down the hallway and he stopped, finally seeing the owners of those voices

there was a handsome little boy sitting on the chair by the island and his brown hair was a mess of wild curls

there was a woman with h/c hair swaying to the tune and a beautiful little girl curled up in her arms while sitting on her hip

‘hey’

oikawa spoke out and caught everyone’s attention

‘papa’s awake!’

‘pa!’

‘hello tooru’

tooru froze

that was you

he knows it’s you

‘y/n-chan’

he whispered and you looked back at him from the pan

‘yes? if youre looking for coffee, we ran out apparently’

that was not what he was talking about

he hastily walked over to the boy and he blinked rapidly

‘you look like me’

he mumbled and the child grinned

‘eung! papa  and yozo look the same! mama and nana say so!’

yozo?

feeling like all the attention was on him, the little girl whined and her hands made grabby motions to him

‘pa pa’

she whined and tooru just felt something in him that screamed to hold the kid

you shushed the little girl

‘dont worry, looney loon. papa’s right there’

loon?

tooru stayed frozen at his spot and you raised an eyebrow at him

‘tooru? luna wants you’

oh

luna

that snapped him out of his trance and he held the little girl in his arms where she smiled at him and then he felt tears welling up in his eyes

then he woke up

okay sorry that was a long dream

so this dragged on for so long already okay

this was only meant to be small but aaaaa i couldnt help itt!!!!

but anyways!

the boys are just simps for you and theyre creeps that take pictures of you and they think about you all the time pls accept their love

also a mild continuation of the dream:

oikawa was holding luna and she was happily laying there when another figure emerged from the hallway

‘iwa-chan?’

he asked, surprised

what was he doing here?

iwa heard his name and grunted before going to a beeline for you

you smiled at him and he leaned in to give you a kiss to which oikawa froze in

iwa noticed his best friend holding his daughter and luna saw her father there

‘daddy!’

she shrieked and tooru blanched

‘uh, what?’

iwa extended his hands out to hold the girl but tooru held her tightly and leaned back

haji narrowed his eyes

‘um, give me my daughter, oikawa’

he grumbled and tooru shook his head

‘no! shes my daughter!’

you blinked

‘your god daughter, yes. but she’s half of your best friend, tooru’

half of his-

god? daughter?

‘so that means-’

‘piece it together, oikawa. did ya get brain damage or something? babe, call the doctor’

oikawa screamed

a/n: lol look WHO ROSE FROM THE GRAVEEEEEEE :) anyways. i really want to deeply apologize to everyone for taking an unexpected break and i shouldve told you guys and im really sorry :( everythings just chaotic lmao and im just like taking a breath for a second uwu and im so AMAZED at how many people still follow me even tho ive been gone for so long like bls yall are real ones :’) i love you all and the req box is still closed at this time as i need to finish the ones i have first soo thankyou for reading thiss and hopefully ill update soonerr!!! :)))

also not me completely messing up my kuws and missing 8 and 9 in my masterlist and having a mindblowing realization that i have 10 keeping up with seijoh fics

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go 

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” 

this will be a common occurrence 

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!” 

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko  is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister 

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

[washymylifeaway]

SunaOsa fanfic recs: valentines edition~~

SunaOsa is one of my all time favorite ships and this past month, there has been/was an exchange going on between writers (here is the link) and artists (separately) and because I don’t have a life (or maybe it’s just that SunaOsa is my life LOL), I’m here to tell you some of my favorite fics from the pile :D However, as much as I love a ship, sometimes fluff is too asajndajnd so mind you there will probably be a lot of good fics missing just cause I couldn’t get myself to read more fluff (or angst) LOL (IM SORRY but sometimes I also just can’t motivate myself to read a fic no matter how good it looks OOPS).

As always, please check warning and tags before reading any of these fics, and take care of yourselves!!!!

In no particular order (jk the order is last updated haha) tho my favorites will have *** next to them :)

***glass stained black by unrequitedangst (E) 31k // Mafia AU’s are some of my favorite kinds of fics, and this one did not disappoint! The character development of Osamu is really legit and despite being mafia, it’s not that heavy or angst of a fic (but you should still definitely read tags and warnings first). It’s an Osamu heavy fic, and if you’re into reading him being stupid, go right ahead LOL.

redux by catalysis (T) 2.3k // ngl I hate break-up fics with a passion truely (when you can’t handle fluff or angst what to do) but I liked the concept for this one hehe (so I made myself suffer LOL). It was short, but cute !!! and the unspoken words really hit me in the FEELS (so what I’m dramatic fight me LOL).

Impropriety by DeathBelle (T) 5.7k // royalty~ I love the banter between them in this fic and we DO stan respectful Osamu yes we do <33333 The relationships between not only SunaOsa but SunaAtsu (because even though it isn’t really SunaAtsu best friend agenda, I can delude myself into think it is okay :/) are done so well and so nice he’s mean Osamu is best Osamu.

***what are you waiting for? by Slumber (T) 3.7k // MIGHT BE MY FAV FIC FROM THIS EXCHANGE!!! It made me cackle and I love how they learn new things about each other!!!! Like the development is so good and Suna is really doing the MOST!! Also, I love recursive endings AHHHHHH!

agape by sketchedsmiles (T) 11.7k // soulmates, then they were SOULMATES! (ik that’s not how it goes but pls just humor me LOL) This fic really depicted Osamu’s insecurities/internal turmoil/overthinking really well and the realization he has vs Suna’s AHJAFKASFJ. I love confident Suna.

fireside by tartaglia (starkartifices) (T) 3.6k // we do love the subtle flirt flirt don’t we hehe ;) It’s short, it’s fluff, and it’s funny - what more could you ask for? Also whats a vigilante fic if there isn’t at least one pun about being a vigilante LOL.

Over and Over Again by tookumade (G) 6.4k // I would like to order one reassuring, reliable Miya Osamu for myself please and thank you :((( The way the relationship is so GOOD like both Suna and Osamu pick each other up and they know the other has their back ajfhkajdfl. I would purchase all the onigiri with the deal Suna was proposing ;) Onigirintarou.

from here to eternity by TheGlovedArtist (T) 6.6k // I for one am a big fan of mythology and stuff (heroes of olympus but like IDR any of the plot LOL) so of course I read this fic. The snark appearances of Sakusa and Komori gave me LIFE and the difference in descriptions from Astumu and Kita cracked me up. This is another respectful Osamu fic (yes I love these) and in this one it was a ‘I save you as much as you save me’ type beat LOL. Gotta love rings.

***Subtle Inarizaki Dating by sifuhotman (T) 15.2k // THIS ONE. Even if you don’t read the whole thing, I beg of you, please, I AM ON MY KNEES, read the SID for Astumu. It is worth the loss of all your brain calls I guarantee it. It made me giggle so freakin much. Suna might be an A-Hole but he’s OUR A-Hole <3

Forever Begins with 8 Seconds by subtlehues (T) 3.9k // FLUFF hehe, I love their dynamic in this one it’s very good and cute and everything great! Also, I am all for the head cannon that Suna cannot cook, yes pls. Also SUPERPOWERS whooooooooh.

***try again, and again, and again by rosegoldwriting (T) 2.6k // SOULMATES! If you ever wanted a specific soulmate AU! for SunaOsa look no further, it probably comes out LOL. I love this concept of them just being like ‘WTF’ everyday, it gives me life. Also, count how many soulmate AU’s you recognized because I just thought about it and I think it’d be fun LOL. (I went back and I think 11 but I’m not sure LOL)

let us burn by SilverMoonT (G) 13.5k // I am always up for a nice vampire Osamu and witch Suna (which believe it or not, is my second one because I read the other one by this writer LOL) This one is more Suna POV and it really goes into his fears and desires, and I like the way Osamu pushes him to live more freely.

***reasons to microwave an elixir by spiritscript (T) 8.2k // THIS ONE. UGH I love, and it’s funny and cute and it EVEN HAS CRIME (kinda not really but yes)! I love the quiet moments they have and the PET AHHHHHHH! We love medic Osamu :DDDDD But also the betrayal and the sparring (and the irony at the end LOL) AJSKJNFK.

we fall between by stringendos (T) 14.7k // honestly the entire time I was just screaming at my computer, begging for them to hurry up and realize, but alas this is a ~slow burn~ for a reason and the tag ‘exes who act like theyre married’ really is the reason I read it and I do not regret LOL. Also bless Matsuda and stan her.

All the Time in the World by minie_ai (M) 8.8k // we love immortality! Denial! And Suna mentally filing away blackmail against people (namely Astumu) LOL. Running away from your problems is always the answer (I am saying this is a not sarcastic manner because I too, run away from my problems LOL) but ramen is ALWAYS a good answer. We love ourselves some emotional constipation LOL.

***none but you by broikawa (T) 7.2k // everything is a competition always LOL, not that I’m complainin but still LOL EVERYTHING. I really love this one because I love the progression and cock-block SakuAtsu hehe. I love them being synchronized idiots <3

it all comes back to you, (my home) by iritaescents (T) 4.5k // FOREVER, WE STAN FOREVER. Anyway, LOL this was is very very cute and fluff and not slow burn, it fast burn LOL. It’s a cute fic to read and it even has our favorite, now say it with me SOULMATES LOL.

Can't help falling in bed with you by tirralirra (T) 6.7k // here we see a 5 + 1 with points for the title (I think it’s very funny LOL my humor is bad ;)) Not that it really needs extra points because it’s a great fic in itself LOL but I really liked the title so I felt the need to share this with you all (OOPS). This was so cute, and the + 1 is HILARIOUS.

It’s no longer up :(((((( -> love's consequences by xginpuff (T) 6.5k // WARNINGS AND TAGS been a while since we had an angsty fic in this list (LOL the way I just tried to avoid all of them hehe). I read the tags but ngl I was still surprised later LOL maybe I’m just dumb, but anyway IK it starts out a bit confusing, but after you read more, you’ll get into it!

***sunagashi by bastigod (T) 9.8k // if there’s anything I like more than mythology, it’s folklore LOL. I love this fic and the plot is written so artfully AHDSAJN. Also the scene with the Ume-chan and her comment (so snarky I love). Also they way I went through so much trouble trying to figure out the kanji LOL (SPOILER it’s miyarin hehe)

catch me (while i'm still runnin') by lunarins (T) 4.3k // first and foremost, may we have a moment of silence for Komori and his eyebrows..... Continuing, this fic was so good because I love a good heist hehe. Their slight of hand abilities really doing the most LOL, and the ending OMG. I love the way the writer added in how they appeared to others during the heist, it really made it so good! Ugh to have a painting class and almost die LOL.

***if we get this right by Slumber (G) 5k // OLD FRIEND plsplspls I love this fic and I love how Osamu slowly relearns who he knew Suna as AHHH. The ending, again UGH, I really loved it and their banter with one another.

The Study of Suna Rintarou by DeathBelle (T) 6.1k // PLEASE the way Osamu kept getting offended omg. But also the effort Suna puts into getting to know Osamu, I was in ~love~. Read to me Osamu, READ TO ME. But also the Osamu is an oblivious MF agenda is alive and well within this fic hehe.

Take a Hint by pancake_surprise (G) 2.3k // ok so I had just read a tumbr post about the one bed thing and then I saw this fic. It was like the stars aligned okay? I was like, ig I HAVE to read it now hehe. But seriously read it, it’s cute and like everything else, of course there’s a challenge to be made LOL.

Heatwave by pancake_surprise (G) 2.1k // the way they were dating without knowing they were dating man. The tag ‘Didn't Know They Were Dating‘ more accurate than the ‘first dates’ one LOL jk but actually tho am I kidding? It’s the first official one IG. LOL anyway, we do love the doin of the defining of relationships. Yup.

If you made it all the way down here, CONGRATS LOL. Like I said, I didn’t read all of them (sadly) and these were the ones i did read LOL. I might add more depending on whether I can motivate myself into reading fics I know will be good LOL so we’ll see heh. Honestly, I thought I was gonna get word counted, but YAY we finished (for now hehe). Also sorry for any possible typos (is this no beta we die like men?) I’m running on 90 min of sleep so my engrish be strugglin LOL. Be safe and wear masks :)

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

songs that make me think of vampy and why

this is for drea and leyla ONLY thank u

daylight- taylor swift "i don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you, i don't wanna think of anything else now that i thought of you" bc vampy loves her so much he only wants her 😔 midnight love- girl in red "I know I'm the last one you try to call but I always give in to give you it all" "your silver is my gold" bc miss chiropractor treated him terribly but he loved her with everything and would have gone back to her no matter what watch you sleep- girl in red this one is obvious: bc vampy watches bloodbag sleep :) also "the scar on your spine, you fell off a roof when you were nine" is all appreciating the tiny details about someone and that is definitely something vampy would do :( paper rings: taylor swift "i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this" line without a hook- ricky montgomery "oh baby i am a wreck when i'm without you" bc vampy loves bloodbag so much he just wants to be with her always 😔 dead girl in the pool- girl in red this one is kinda weird but i feel like bloodbag is gonna die at some point and then vampy will just be like "theres a dead girl in the pool (or wherever her corpse is laying slfjskldfjkldsj) i don't know what to do" and then he's gonna make this face

bad habits- ed sheeran bc he was just slutting around before he met bloodbag demons- imagine dragons dont make fun of me for this I KNOW but fr it's vampy renegade- taylor swift "you wouldn't be the first renegade to need somebody" he needs bloodbag 😔 starting line- luke hemmings i can't really explain this one but it's like how you always talk about how his happiness is overshadowed by the fact that he's a monster or whatever million dollar bills - lorde "theres nothing i want but money and time" and vampy has literally all the money and time :) solar power- lorde this is harrys hot girl anthem idk happiness- taylor swift "there'll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you" this is him reminiscing on miss chiropractor i wanna get better-bleachers "i didn't know i was lonely til i saw your face" "I didn't know i was broken til i wanted to change" come on 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 good 4 u - olivia rodrigo this is his fuck u song for miss chiropractor my tears ricochet- taylor swift "if i'm dead to you why are you at the wake" it's ironic innit 😌 what a feeling- one direction "what a feeling to be right here beside you now, holding you in my arms" please 😔 "everybody needs someone around" 😔😔😔 "but i can't hold you too close now" bc he has severe attachment and commitment issues :) all you had to do was stay- taylor swift "had me in the palm of your hand, then, why'd you have to go and lock me out when i let you in" omg miss chiropractor really hurt him 😔 king of my heart- taylor swift "and all at once you are the one i have been waiting for" bloodbag @ vampy 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 cruel summer- taylor swift "I love you ain't that the worst thing you ever heard" bc he knows getting close to bloodbag will ultimately only lead to pain for everyone involved "i don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you" bc he can't tell bloodbag everything about him even tho he probably wants to :( thank u next- arianna grande this is weird BUT if miss chiropractor hadn't fucked him up so much he never would have met bloodbag tear in my heart- 21 pilots again don't make fun of me for this I HAVE AN EXPLANATION "you fell asleep in my car i drove the whole time but that's okay i'll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine" if bloodbag fell asleep in his car he would definitely do this :( shape of you-ed sheeran "now my bedsheets smell like you" his room probably smells like honey and lavender all the time now and he's probably foaming at the mouth constantly cowboy in LA "let's skip the club, lets skip the crowd, i wanna take you on a date" bc they both hate clubs!!!!! "I'll hold your hand I'll hold the door bc that's how i was raised" he's a gentleman 😔😔😔😔 & burn- billie eilish "i'll sit and watch your car burn with the fire that you started in me, but you never came back to ask it out" idk for some reason this has vampy and miss chiropractor vibes take me to church- hozier religious trauma babes 🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼 speechless- dan+shay "i'm speechless, staring at you standing there in that dress" love 😔 yours- russel dickerson "i came to life when i first kissed you, the best me has his arms around you, you make me better than i was before, thank god i'm yours" SCREAMING AND CRYING AND SHAKING tolerate it- taylor swift "i know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it" MISS ******** DIDN"T APPRECIATE OR CELEBRATE HIS LOVE MIA- anarbor "thinking about my life and everything i did wrong along the way"😔 lay low- josh turner for when bloodbag and vampy go to a cabin in the woods for a week and just love each other 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 who can save me now- anarbor "you stabbed me in the back" this one is pretty literal LSKFJLKSJFLKDSJ "you could have at least been kind enough to let me turn around" ouch 😔 dopamine- anarbor "i'm hooked on your dopamine" vampy and bloodbag ugh lie to me- 5sos this give me vampy and ******** vibes "i wish we never met, cause you're too hard to forget" "while i'm cleaning up your mess i know he's taking

off your dress" bc she probably cheated on him while they were together 😔 and he would have stayed with her if she told him she loved him, even if he knew it was a lie 😔 cotton candy- yungblud it's just a happy song with good vibes like bloodbag and vampy currently have :) small talk- niall horan i don't even have to say anything here pillowtalk- zayn "so we'll piss off the neighbors" chappy 9 vibes dancing with our hands tied- taylor swift "i loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us" vampy rn 😔 once in a lifetime- one direction vampy will live a million lifetimes but he will only ever have one bloodbag 😔 holy ground- taylor swift "tonight i'm gonna dance for all that we've been through but I don't wanna dance if i'm not dancing with you" they've come so far omg 😔 since we're alone- niall horan "you can show me your heart, if you put it all in my hands no i swear no i won't break it apart" crying if i could fly- one direction "for your eyes only i'll show you my heart" rollercoaster- bleachers again i can't explain it but it makes me think of him 😔 so long- niall horan "so if we knew all along why did it take so long" good question bestie current location- LANY "i need your current location to be my current location" they're idiots in love and want to be together all the time 😔 why dont we go there- one direction "hey i don't want you to be the one that got away i wanna get addicted to you you're rushing through my mind i wanna feel the high i wanna be addicted" well hes already addicted to her blood so might as well like you lots- LANY bc they both have issues and can't say love lmao too much to ask- niall horan vampy though wanting love was too much to ask of miss chiropractor 😔 walking in the wind- one direction this one just has his vibes man 😔 heartbeat- carrie underwood "dancing to the rhythm of your heartbeat" bc vampy is obsessed with listening to bloodbag's heart (fan behavior if you ask me) idfc- blackbear this is vampy and ******** bc "tell me that you love me even if it's fake" city of angels- 24kgoldn "i sold my soul to the devil for designer" yes this made me laugh the woods- olivver the kid "waking up in the middle of the woods" "don't you wanna get out of here, out of the woods" flashback to when he was dead in the woods oop "you brought me down to the river, and you pushed me in, hoping that the white rapids would challenge my ability to swim" bc... she's a murderer omg this verse is talking about leaves and i'm freaking out it fits 100% this is crazy "You pick up two handfuls You tell me they're all dried up & dead You know that's nothing like us We'll live forever instead" just a little bit of your heart- ariana grande vampy bc he loves so deeply and completely that he will give all of himself to someone even if they won't do the same my strange addiction- billie eilish bc he is addicted to her blood :) cross your mind- niall horan this is vampy and ******** "love the way you hurt me and it doesn't even cross your mind" "leaving me in pieces (literally lmao) but i swear it's worth it every time" everywhere- niall horan that scene where vampy smelled some perfume or soap or something and it made him think of bloodbag 😔 everything makes him think of her now 😔 "swear it's hard to think it's hard to breathe when you're in the air" put a little love on me- niall horan "you're the only one i need" 😔 bend the rules- niall horan VAMPY AND ******** ALL THE WAY "i'm not saying that you're lying but you're leaving out the truth" heartbreak weather- niall horan "all of my life i've been sleepwalk living, running around the same bars i've been in, it can be so lonely in this city, but it feels different when you're with me" bloodbag and vampy 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 mr loverman- ricky montgomery "i miss my lover man" vampy is probably dramatic like this all the time now that they're official 😔 bad blood- taylor swift again, just for the irony 😌 vapor- 5sos "i want to breathe you in like a vapor i want to be the one you remember i want to feel

your love like the weather all over me" they're so in love like this 😔 catch fire- 5sos "all my life i've been waiting for moments to come" he's been waiting for bloodbag his entire life 😔 beside you-5sos "i wish i was beside you" they want to be together all the time 😔 black and white- niall horan "that first night i was standing at your door fumbling for your keys then i kissed you" ARE YOU KIDDING ME not in the same way- 5sos this is vampy and ******** just bc they were so toxic lkfjskldfjsdlkjf lonely heart-5sos "and i haven't slept in days" lmao ghost of you-5sos "my feet dont dance like they did with you" thinking about when vampy danced for bloodbag and what if they break up 👁️👁️ why wont you love me- 5sos vampy at ******** 😔 he just wanted to be loved 😔😔😔😔😔 fool's gold- one direction "i let you use me from the day that we first met" "i know your love's not real, but that's not the way it feels" STOP IM SAD last first kiss- one direction "let me be your last first kiss" i want them to be together forever 😔 truly madly deeply- one direction "foolishly completely falling and somehow you kicked all my walls in" bloodbag really snuck into his heart huh 😔 fireproof -one direction "nobody saves me baby the way you do" ugh 😔 long story short-taylor swift "clung to the nearest lips long story short it was the wrong guy" (or in vampy's case the wrong vampire) gold rush-taylor swift "and the coastal town we run around has never seen a love as pure as it" bloodbag and vampy are all i want 😔 no judgement- niall horan bc vampy would never judge bloodbag 😔 daddy issues- the neighborhood again im not even gonna say anything here new angel- niall horan "the touch of someone else to save me from myself" this is vampy 😔 god is a woman- ariana grande vampy after he brought bloodbag home the first time something like this- the chainsmokers "just something i can turn to, somebody i can kiss" ALL VAMPY WANTS IS LOVE sweater weather- the neighborhood idk this song makes me think of him all of me- john legend "all of me loves all of you all your curves and all your edges all your perfect imperfections" KSFLKSDJFKLDJSFLJSDKLFJDSKL i like me better- lauv "i like me better when i'm with you" she makes him a better person 😔 sex- eden "oh no, i think i'm catching feelings" vampy when bloodbag went on a date with someone else half a heart- one direction bc bloodbag completes him 😔 theyre so disgusting 😔 only angel- harry styles "turns out she's a devil in between the sheets" woman- harry styles vampy when she was on a date with someone else bc hes a jealous moron temporary fix- one direction this has chappy 1-2 vibes a.m.-one direction when they first started falling in love and he wanted to be with her more often 😔 something great- one direction "i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i don't have to keep imagining" through the dark- one direction just all of this song 😔 happily- one direction "you know i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep i just want it to be you and i forever" 😔 electric love- borns "i can't let you go now that i got it" canyon moon- harry styles they're just happy like this rn 😔 sunflower vol. 6- harry styles "kiss in the kitchen like it's a dancefloor" "mouth full of toothpaste" when they brushed their teeth together 😔 adore you- harry styles obviously

[turkishdreams]

before i get to giffing this week’s episodes..

i normally don’t do write-ups for baht oyunu or ada masalı but i just had some thoughts that i really wanted out of my head. this got a bit out of hand and became longer than i intended oops 😅 and ofc, beware of spoilers!

so this week’s episodes of both baht oyunu and ada masalı dealt with quite a lot of pain and heartbreak, which really put my shipper heart thru the wringer. but that’s what we get for clowning and investing as much as we do, right? 🤡

i really wanted to give a special shoutout to AM for finally having all the cards on the table. a lot of the times with dizis they tend to drag out the miscommunication and lies to no end, but seeing them confront all the lies and deception in one go was so flippin’ refreshing. not to mention, that scene where haziran and poyraz were locked up in that hotel room and just hashing everything out.. that deserves all 👏 the 👏 awards👏 their acting was so well done, i had tears in my eyes by the end. 

and you know what? i also really appreciate that the writing gives haziran a lot of credit for trying to fix her mistakes and still wanting to stick around as opposed to her moping around and leaving the island out of self-pity, which is what we normally see. even just her locking both of them up in the hotel room just so she could have a chance to present her side of the situation was legendary behaviour, but for her to step out afterwards and claim her mark on this island, knowing she would be ostracized and heckled was the cherry on top. im HERE for this queen shit 👑 they really don’t write female characters like this so i'm just so excited that we’re going somewhere new that i personally haven’t experienced before in diziland.

also, thank god that 🐍 hakan got exposed for the lying cheat that he is as well. i was so worried that he would still get away with all his crimes and just blame it all on haziran, but he also got what was coming for him and i’m just so pumped about that. sure he got away by the end of the episode, but that ass-whooping was SO satisfying.

of course, the next couple episodes are gonna be pretty intense and filled with a lot of pain, but they’ve ripped off the bandaid at this point and now everything just has to settle down and heal. which means they can get back to falling in love without any more hurdles and lies!! what a win, right??? like honestly, as a viewer & fan, i feel respected in a sense bc they’re not wasting our time with any more intricate lies and we’re finally getting down to the bottom of things, we’re not beating around the bush anymore.

which leads me to baht oyunu..

trust me when i say i actually enjoyed this latest episode a lot, purely for the angst. but at some point, the can of worms has to come out, right? and the lies just keep piling up, there’s no end to it. the worst is that SO many ppl are becoming involved, right down to ada’s prof - who’s a real one btw - for not clarifying with bora that ada never graduated.

i hate to compare, but after seeing this week’s ep of AM, it’s hard not to wish for something similar to happen in BO bc as a viewer i’m starting to get confused about who’s in on all the lies and who’s not. as far as i can tell, the major lies seem to be that a) ada’s married - happily and b) ada graduated, but because of these lies, a lot of smaller lies have stemmed like selin being married. 

i know with a show like BO where everything is more light-hearted, we can’t expect the same sort of fallout like poyhaz had in AM but man it would be really cathartic. i just want all cards on the table, i want everything cleared up so that adbor can also move on and fall in love without anything burdening them. with the way the show has been going so far, i really thought they would be switching things up and having a confession earlier on, but i’m starting to think we’re gonna have to wait for it just like every other dizi. i hope to god i’m wrong tho. 

also, if we really think about it, why would bora even be personally affected by these lies? like she basically just lied on her resume and got the job, and is amazing at her job. if bora wasn’t already falling for her, would this really be that big of an issue to him? it shouldn’t matter, right? the most this would be is a breach of contract, a breach of trust, but the longer they drag it out, the more involved he becomes (unnecessarily). she didn’t exactly do him dirty by lying and getting the job, she got the job for her own means, not as a favour to him or anything.

the fragman for next week’s ep doesn’t really make me feel any better, but obviously i’ll still be around, esp to see jealous bora lol. idk, i just feel like it’s really unfair to both ada and bora’s characters to have all this be so dragged out, esp considering how much all this is weighing on ada's conscience and how supportive bora has been this whole time. 

bora continues to surprise me with how he's ALWAYS there for ada and notices the tiniest things about her. he's becoming one of my fav characters in any turkish dizi. which is why im equally as jumpy to see how exactly he would react when all the truths are exposed. i highly doubt he'll be as erratic as poyraz, he'll more likely be very emotional and disappointed. and he's been trying to connect the dots since the beginning instead of being totally blissful so when exactly do we get to see the outcome of that? atp im more impatient than he is for everything to be laid out 😅

all in all, these episodes were still fantastic and we better gear up for more pain coming our way before our mains get the peace and love they deserve 🥲 im gonna get to giffing tonight so if you have any requests pls hit me up (that is if any of you are still reading). also if you like these write-ups, i might do more in the future 😊

also also, im lowkey thinking about making a twitter account so that i can be engaged in the dizi fandoms in a different way and possibly share more of my thoughts, is that something you guys would be interested in seeing or nah?

EDIT: i did end up making a twitter account, check it out @ xturkishdreams if you wanna give it a follow!

as always thanks for the support, until next time 💖

[jtsfavslut]

Show Me How

Description: After countless ‘I think she’s the one’ Grayson loses hope in finding his soulmate. But one girl gives him the hope to try again. 

Warnings: None

Word Count: 4.5k+

Parties were not your scene. They just weren’t, but they certainly were your friends, and they loved to drag you with them.

Which is the only reason why you're in a stranger's kitchen, it was a nice kitchen tho, definitely better than the one at your tiny and overpriced apartment.

“I haven’t seen you around,” a random man’s voice spoke as they stood next to you.

“Cool,” you nicely replied, taking a sip of the cup that you were holding onto for dear life.

“You look hot,” he replied again, making you roll your eyes and turn to look at him.

“And you look like you should leave me alone,” you replied, you were a bit scared, he was taller than you and under the influence of alcohol and other things. 

“Feisty, I like it,” he smirked and you instantly felt smaller and scared. 

“And she doesn’t like you,” another man’s voice spoke, but from behind you, his arms wrapped around you, pulling you close but not that close. 

“And who are you?” the previous guy asked with an attitude. 

“I’m her boyfriend, and I suggest you leave her alone and leave while you’re at it,” he replied and the guy just scoffed and left. 

“Thank you so much, he was starting to scare me,” you thanked as his arm unwrapped from you. 

“It’s no problem. He shouldn’t be talking to you like that, or anyone else on that matter. I mean even I could tell you had no interest in him,” he replied giving you a smile that you returned.

“But seriously thank you, I don’t know what he was finna do if you didn’t come along,” you replied, placing your cup on the counter next to you. “I’m Nailed by the way,” you added with a smile. 

“Grayson,” he replied, returning your smile. “Also not to be rude, but I’ve never seen you around. Are you new to the ‘youtube community’ or?” he asked and you shook your head with a giggle.

“Oh no, I could never. My friends are and they dragged me here,” you replied and he sent you a confused look.

“Why not?” he asked and you shrugged.

“I don’t know, I’m more of a lowkey kind of person you know. Like thousands of people watching me do something sounds weird” you said emphasizing the ‘me’ in your sentence. 

“Oh, I get what you mean. But you get used to it.” he shrugged and you nodded your head. 

“You know what’s funny. I get hate every day because of my friends, like why do you take time out of your day to make me laugh, like really?” you said laughing a bit. It was true, you get hate and laugh at it, you could say that growing up with your family made you immune to hate.

“See, you’re ready to be a YouTuber or something, you’re like mentally prepared,” he replied with a chuckle.

“I’ll think about it,” you replied and took another sip of your water, “I think I’m gonna go,” you sighed looking at the time displayed on your phone screen. 

“Wait, why?” Grayson asked as he stared at you. 

“I’m bored, and it’s late. Plus my friends all left me so,” you shrugged.

“So you’re gonna leave me,” he replied, acting offended.

“Bro, I’m not leaving you. I’m leaving the party, plus I’m hungry,” you replied, putting your phone in your pocket.

“It’s my party, so technically you’re leaving me. Can you just stay? At least for a bit?” he asked, making you blush, thank God for makeup. You were confused as to why he didn’t want you to leave, but you didn’t mind it either. 

 “Fine, and thank God I didn’t talk shit about the party,” you replied, making him laugh. 

“What is my party?” he asked and you shook your head. 

“No, but I told you pirates aren’t my thing. I would be reading a book right now,” you replied and he shook his head. 

“A book?” he asked and you nodded your head. 

“Yes, a book. Reading is actually fun dude,” you replied and he nodded his head. 

“Well, then I’m gonna take your word on that and-,” he began saying before someone yelled his name cutting him off. 

That someone looked just like him making you think they were twins. 

“Ethan this is Y/N, Y/N this is Ethan, my twin brother,” he said as Ethan sort of inspected you and looked at you weirdly making you feel uncomfortable. 

“Hey,” he said, sending you a smile. 

“Hi,” you replied, returning him the smile. 

“She came here with her friends but they left her alone, and Bryce was acting weird so I came,” Grayson said and you nodded your head. 

“Oh, yeah he said you were being a bitch and left,” Ethan replied and you shook your head.

“No, he was being a bitch, harassing me and shit. He was scaring me,” you replied making them laugh. 

“At least he’s gone now,” Ethan said and you nodded your head. “I don’t know who told him to come, because it wasn’t me,” he added and Grayson shrugged.

“Me neither,” Grayson replied. 

“He probably came along with someone, like I did,” you replied and they both agreed. “Now this conversation is nice and all, pero I’m hungry, so,” you said, getting your keys out of your pocket. 

“What does pero mean, is it Spanish?” Ethan asked and you nodded your head. 

“Yeah, it means but,” you replied and he nodded his head and repeated the word to himself.

“Wait, can you give someone a ride, my girl was gonna leave to get food too,” he asked and you nodded your head. 

“Yeah sure, I don’t mind.” you shrugged and he nodded your head, he left and said he was gonna go get her. 

“So you’re gonna come back?” Grayson asked and you nodded your head. 

“I kinda have to now, but yeah,” you replied and looked around. You spotted one of your friends doing something but you didn’t know what.

“Ok, here she is,” Ethan said, coming back to a girl.

“Hi, I’m Karolina,” she said and you could hear a slight accent in her voice. 

“Hey girl, I’m Y/N,” you replied with a smile. “Do you wanna go now?” you asked and she nodded her head. You guys said your goodbye’s and she followed you out the house and into your car.

“Do you have any place in mind? I’m up for anything?” you asked turning on your car after putting your seatbelt on.

“Umm anything open honestly, and offer vegan food, they’re vegan,” she replied and you nodded your head.

“Wait, they’re vegan?” you asked and she nodded her head.

“Yeah, for a while now, it’s kind of annoying because sometimes not all places offer vegan options, and then we have to leave or something. But don’t tell me I said that,” she replied, making you laugh.

“My lips are sealed,” you replied making her laugh.

“So I see you were talking to Gray,” you pointed out, making you blush slightly but you still did.

“Yeah, he’s nice,” you casually replied. 

“Nice? Girl, he was all up on you,” she said making you shake your head while smiling. 

“He was not. He was just being nice,” you replied as she stared at you as if you were crazy.

“Ethan told me he had to go over to you guys because he saw him talking to you for like minutes,” she said and you shrugged,

“I mean yeah, but I doubt it. Doesn’t he have a girlfriend or something?” you asked and you shook her head.

“Nah, he struggles. A LOT,” she replied emphasizing the ‘a lot’.

“Word? How does he struggle when he looks like that?” you asked surprised. 

“Don’t tell him I told you this but, Grayson is a guy that goes straight to the point. And he does the same thing with relationships, he falls fast and some girls don’t like that,” she sighed and shook her head.

“Awww dito, that’s sad. But I get it. He wants someone to stay with and just settle down with. He’s ready to commit,” you replied and she nodded her head. 

“Yeah, and he falls fast, and Ethan always has to protect him and be there for him,” she explained. 

“Well, hopefully, he finds someone who loves him for him. I mean he seems like a really nice person and everyone deserves to be happy,” you replied as you parked your car in front of one of the restaurants your friends go to. 

“Yeah, he is, he just has to be patient,” she replied and you guys got out of the car and walked inside, ordered the food, and left. 

When you got back to the house, everyone had left and it was just you, Kristina, the twins, and their closest friends who they introduced you to. 

“Wait so you’re in college,” Ryan (not n-word Ryan) asked you and you nodded your head. 

“Yeah, but I might drop out, It’s not for me anymore. I only have a year left so I don’t know,” you shrugged and he nodded his head. 

“Might as well finish and get what you paid for,” he replied and you nodded your head.

“True, I don’t even want to be a doctor anymore,” you sighed and took a sip of your milkshake. 

“If it’s not good for your mental health then don’t do it,” Grayson shrugged and you nodded your head. 

“Yeah, I don’t know yet. I’m still thinking about it, anyway I think I’m gonna go,” you yawned getting up and throwing your trash in the trash can. 

“I’ll walk you out,” Grayson said and you nodded your head.

You followed him out of the house and walked towards your car. 

“Thank you for saving me from Bryce today,” you smiled and he nodded his head. 

“I told you it was no problem,” he replied with a smile and put his hands inside his pockets. 

“Umm, anyways,” you awkwardly replied leaning against your car. 

“Yeah, um-” he began saying before he got cut off by Ethan.

“Just give him your number. He’s struggling to ask you for it,” Ethan shouted, making you and Grayson blush. 

“Yeah, what he said,” he shyly smiled and you nodded your head. 

He pulled his phone and handed it to you while you handed him yours and exchanged numbers. 

“I’ll text you?” he asked and you nodded your head, putting your phone back in your pocket. 

“I’ll see you around Gray,” you softly said as you got inside your car, turning it on. 

“See ya, let me know when you get home, yeah?” he replied and waited for you to go back inside and get bullied by Ethan and the rest. 

When you got home, you shot him a quick text letting him know and took a shower before going to bed. 

Gray:

Good. Wyd?

Me: 

Watching a show, you?

Gray: 

Cleaning the kitchen

Me:

Wait...by yourself?

Gray: 

Yeah, E and Karolina when to bed so 

Me:

OOP, lmao good luck.

You replied before putting your phone down and continuing to watch your show before your phone started ringing. He was calling you so you answered.

“Hello,” you answered putting it on speaker and putting the phone on the bed.

“Hey, sorry if it’s random, I’m bored and basically alone,” he replied.

“It’s ok, I don’t mind, I wasn’t really watching the show anyway,” you replied, which was a lie. You were really into the show. 

“Listen, I know we just met and all, but do you wanna go somewhere tomorrow? It’s ok if you don’t,” he asked, making you smile and blush.

“Sure, just let me know when and where so I can get dressed appropriately,” you replied. 

“Umm, do you wanna go hiking, well not really a hike more of a walk?” he replied, making you laugh.

“You’re not gonna push me off the mountain or something right?” you joked.

“Ohh I’m definitely gonna do that,” he joked as a large smile waltz it’s way onto your face.

“Ok, so I won’t wear white. Is a tracksuit ok? I don’t go hiking a lot.” you said chuckling at the end, while Grayson nodded his head even though you couldn’t see him.

“Yeah, anything is ok. Well not really anything, heels are not good for hiking, or dresses, or skirts,” he slightly chuckled making you shake your head with a smile. 

“So, I’ll wear that and some sneakers,” you said, getting up from your bed to get the outfit and lay it down on a chair. “And I’ll just put my hair into a bun or something. You’re not gonna make me run are you?” you asked and heard him chuckle. 

“No, why?” 

“Because I used to run Track and Field, and I don’t want anything to do with running for a long time,” you said, emphasizing the 'long time'. You loved running but Track made you dislike it for a while.

“Oh, in high school?” he asked and you nodded your head forgetting he couldn't see you.

“Yeah, not to brag but I was a state champion,” you said with a smile walking over to your dresses pulling out a pair of socks and underwear. 

“Oh so you’re fast, but you’re so tiny,” he joked making you roll your eyes.

“And this is where I hang up,” you joked before he cut you off with a ‘NO’.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he said and you shook your head, leaving your room and walking over to the kitchen.

“So, Karolina told me you guys are vegan?” you asked.

“Yeah, for a few years now actually. It’s nice,” he replied as you rummaged through your cabinets. 

“That’s cool and all, but I could never,” you sighed grabbing a Rice Krispies treat and eating it.

“Why not?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” you replied chewing and swallowing, “I like meat and all. I’ve tried but couldn't. I was dairy-free for two months though,” you added, causing him to laugh.

“Ethan would be so disappointed,” he said laughing.

“Ethan can suck a dick, but that’s not really vegan, so he can suck on an eggplant,” you joked and heard Grayson wheeze making your jaw drop.

“Sir, do you have asthma?” you asked and he answered with a faint ‘yes’ since his laughter wouldn’t let him speak. You weren’t annoyed because it happened to you all the time. 

“Ok, ok, I’m done,” he said out of breath after a few LONG seconds of laughing. 

“Dang, I didn’t know I was that funny. I would’ve chosen to be a stand-up comedian instead of a surgeon,” you said and he let out another loud chuckle. 

You were on the phone for another hour, until you both decided it was really late and you needed some sleep for tomorrow. 

You finished watching the episode you were on and went to bed, only to wake up at 6 the next morning, since you agreed to have Grayson picked you up at 7:30. 

You did your business in the bathroom and took a quick shower. You did your usual routine, substituting your makeup with chapstick and waterproof mascara, you got dressed in the clothes you had taken out yesterday; a cute baby blue legging and sports bra set that your friend had gotten you. (could never be me)

You put your hair into a slick back bun, put on extra deodorant along with perfume, and made your way into the kitchen with 10 minutes remaining, which you used to cut up some strawberries and bananas, throw them in your blender with some other ingredients and place them inside two cute containers you had gotten from a random store. Smoothie bowls were your go two, they only took about 5 minutes to make and were so good too. 

Grayson sent you a text letting you know he was downstairs so you grabbed your bag with everything you needed inside, the smoothie bowls with spoons and two bottles of water, and made your way downstairs. 

“Hey,” you softly said once you saw him standing in front of the passenger door of his car, waiting for you. 

“Hi,” he said with a smile and opened the door, you got inside the car and muttered a small thank you, you put your seatbelt on and placed your little backpack between your seat and the bowls on your lap. 

“Ok, I made you this,” you said, handing him the bowl with the smoothie inside. “I made sure everything I put inside was either vegan or plant-based,” you said as he opened the bowl. 

“Oh good, thank you, this looks so good by the way,” he said with a smile as you handed him the spoon. 

“No problem, I figured you hadn't eaten anything, and it’s better to make things yourself than spend money on them, only sometimes though,” you said and started eating yours, he did too, considering the car was driving itself. 

“And we're here,” he said, parking the car since he started driving after he finished. 

“This is really exciting actually,” you said with a smile once you got out of the car and looked around the scenery in front of you. 

It was just trees but it seemed peaceful and calm, And the air felt slightly clean if you compared it to the one in LA. 

“I come here when I need some time away from the city and stuff,” he said, grabbing your small backpack from your hands and putting it on. 

“I see why, and that looks so cute on you,” you joked making him shake his head with a smile. 

“You ready?” he asked and you nodded your head. 

Ten minutes into your little ‘hike’ and the sun was beating down on you like there was no tomorrow. You naturally tan skin getting darker than before. 

“This is fun,” you said with a smile and Grayson turned to look towards you. 

“Really, or are you just saying it because you don’t want to hurt my feelings?” Grayson asked and you laughed. 

“Babe, I don't have a sugar coat. And I’m serious it’s so peaceful and calm, it reminds me of where I grew up,” you said with a smile making sure to pay attention to the floor so that you don’t trip and embarrass yourself. 

“Good because it reminds me of Jersey, and my childhood home and things,” he said, making you smile. 

“That’s cute, Oh can we sit on that bench over?” you asked and he nodded his head and you began to walk towards it. 

“Ok, tho but I would do this every morning if I wasn’t studying,” you sighed as you gave your legs a break from all of that walking.

“I started to do it with E, but then we stopped. But I try to at least every other day, gotta treat your body right, you know?”

“Mhm, yeah. I always try to sneak a workout in every day or go for a walk around the block which isn’t safe but you gotta do what you need to,” you said and closed your eyes as the sun shined on you and Grayson secretly watched you. 

“Maybe we can try and go for hikes here and there,” he shyly spoke, making you smile. 

“Yeah, we can be hiking buddies or something,” you spoke opening your eyes and sending him a smile. 

“Yeah,” he spoke as you got up from your seat. 

“Alright. Breaks over, move that ass sir,” you said making him laugh and get up from the bench. 

“Ignoring the fact that my legs want to kill me, this was fun,” you said standing in front of his car. You just finished walking back making the entire hike about and 1 and half long. 

“Yeah, you get used to it tho, but yeah it was fun, especially when you almost ate dirt if only I wasn’t there to save you,” he said with a smirk causing you to scoff. 

“Oh god, so funny, I’m gonna die HAHA,” you sarcastically said and rolled your eyes. “OK but it was kinda funny,” you chuckled causing him to laugh. 

“I’m hungry, you wanna grab something to eat?” he asked and you nodded your head. 

“Please? I’m so hungry,” you said.

“OK let’s go,” he said and you opened your door getting inside the car. 

“You want to come in? It’s ok if you don’t,” he asked as he pulled up to his house and you shrugged. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother,” you asked and he nodded his head.

“I’m sure, come on Ethan isn’t here so it doesn’t matter,” he said, making you agree. 

“Oh wow, now this is pretty, it was pretty last night but now? Dang,” you said and he shook his head smiling. 

“Thanks, me and E remodeled it and stuff,” he replied, dropping the empty food containers in the trash. “You wanna go to the pool, try to cool off?”

“I would but I don’t have clothes,” you pouted pointing to your outfit. 

“I can give you one of my t-shirts,” he said and you nodded your head, and followed him to his room since he told you. 

“Ok, you can wear this then I'll give you something else before you go,” he said handing you a white tee with a Wakeheart logo on the left part of the chest. 

“Thank you,” you replied, getting the shirt from his hand with a smile. 

“You can change in here or in the bathroom over there if you want. I’ll be in the pool,” he said and you nodded your head before he walked out leaving you in his room. 

You quickly changed into the shirt, taking the bra and leggings off along with your shoes and socks, and slipping into the shirt, neatly folding your stuff and leaving it on the corner of his head before walking out towards the pool. 

Grayson’s heart rate accelerated at the sight of you in his shirt, his imagination created both cute and sinful thoughts. 

“Hi,” you softly smiled, slipping inside the pool and staying by the edge. 

“Hey,” he replied moving closer towards you. 

“Not to ruin the vibe, but I can’t swim,” you whispered and he let out a loud laugh. 

“Are you serious? Please tell me you're joking,” he laughed causing you to playfully slap his arm. 

“I’m serious asshat,” you replied and he stopped laughing. 

“Oh wow, how?” he asked and you rolled your eyes. 

“I never learned, how else?” you replied and he shrugged. 

“Ok, so if I were to pick you up and throw you over there-” he began before you cut him off.

���-I would drown and hunt you in your sleep you bitch,” you said, causing him to laugh.

“I’m not laughing Grayson, don’t you dare,” you said pointing your finger at his face like a mother would to their child. 

“I’ll save you, I promise,” he said and picked you up before you could try and run away, a loud squeal falling past your lips. 

“Grayson-” you began screaming before you felt yourself being thrown in the air and falling inside the pool. 

Not even a second after you felt a pair of arms wrap around you and pull you up to the surface, where you took a large and scared deep breath.

“I hate you so fucking much guy,” you screamed laughing, you didn’t hate him. 

“You’re laughing so you don’t,” he said and helped you get towards that edge.

“I don’t but still,” you said shaking your head and leaning against the pool wall.

“Alright, I’m sorry that was insensitive,” he apologized and you noticed the sadness in his voice. 

“Gray, you don’t have to apologize, we’re having fun. And you’re not insensitive because you didn’t hurt my feelings in any way,” you said rubbing his arm in a comforting way as he let out a sigh. “Are ok? Do you want to talk about it?” You softly asked, noticing how his energy changed from being happy to sad and concerned, making you feel his concern and sadness. 

“It’s ok. I’m ok,” he said shaking his head and putting on a smile, which you can tell was fake. 

“I know you’re not ok right now, I feel your energy, but if you don’t want to talk about it, I won’t force you to,” you softly said, making sure you weren’t pushing any of his boundaries. You carefully lifted yourself sitting down on the edge while keeping your feet inside the water.

“It’s just I don’t know, I’m scared to get hurt again, what if I’m doing something wrong and I never figure out what it is and I never find my soulmate and never have kids,” he sighed standing between your legs placing his hands on your knees.

“What do you mean to get hurt? Who’s going to hurt you?” you asked, confused as to what he was referring to. 

“I mean to hurt like emotionally hurt. And I mean like what if I never find my person and keep getting hurt by trying,” he sighed and you nodded your head as he spoke to let him know you were listening. 

“Well, when it comes to dating and love life, I’m not the best person to ask for advice but I’ll tell you this,” you began saying before letting out a sigh. “Everyone has a soulmate or their person, you just have to wait, sometimes it’s obvious as to who it is, while other times it’s the person you least expect it to be, just be patient,” you said with a smile and he nodded his head and laid it on your leg.

“And how will I know?” he muttered against your leg.

“You’ll feel it. You’ll feel connected to that person in a way that you’ve never felt with anyone else, and you’ll just know,” you shrugged and felt him nod. 

“Now, stop being sappy and have fun. It’s October, Halloween is coming up. Correction, Halloween has started for me,” you said and a genuine smile returned to his face. 

“We need to decorate, it’s our first Halloween here,” he spoke and sat down next to you.

“Oh, you guys need to go hard. I wish I could decorate but I can’t decorate the whole building, that's just weird,” you said making him laugh.

“Maybe you can help us decorate,” he said and you nodded your head. 

“Ah yes, just tell me when,” you replied.

It was two days. Two days of consecutive texting before Grayson knew he wanted to- no needed to see you again. 

Not before he was warned by Ethan. He had promised Ethan he wasn’t going to get himself entangled with anyone yet, that he was going to relax and stay on his own for a little. 

But he knew he needed to see you, so he told Ethan you were going to help him decorate, which was true. Plus Ethan thought you were a good person, along with Ryan and Karolina so why not meet up with you for a bit. 

Part Two

Tags: @fangdolan @simplyxdolxstyles @333dolans @dolanissues @ydolanssss @rhyrhy462 @blindedbythelightt

[calpalsworld]

Not "autistic anon," but also autistic, (being called maybe ableist made me want to put this out there before go to bed) i thought Zane was depicted that way purposefully by the writers. He has stereotypical traits like taking things literally, and has an actual humor switch. The writers have done things with Zane before like have him lose bodily autonomy (during that one Wu's teas short) and did something with his voice be it making him unable to be understood or talking too loud and the forced pirate voice by Jay. (what you're doing isn't too different from that, right?) I thought it was just a little iffy to distort his body and memory bc that could be interpreted as something not that I'm sure what exactly, it's some kind of disability. I dunno. I'm not good with putting this to words. I hope this makes sense.

Sorry I went to bed but now I’m awake 😭

Also I ended up totally spilling all my thoughts here rather than only specifically replying to you please forgive me context: my scary zane concept design, & my ninjago rewrite i refer to a lot 

Im a little confused but I think I get what you're saying? You're saying the Ninjago writers absolutely DON'T write Zane well (you listed examples of this) and you don't want me to fall into the same trap?

I had the opposite logic earlier. I thought: If Ninjago writers made Zane have stereotypical autisitic traits while also being a dehumanized robot, I may as well embrace it, say he is autistic blatantly, while also making him do funny/cool non-human robot things, so its clear as possible the two aspects of his character are literal and separate and not a metaphor for each other. But you're right! I do have a choice and I dont have to embrace things! :)

Like there were a couple ways I was gonna reject the original, for example, I never wanted Zane to have a funny switch, and I hated how other characters could fuck with Zane and he didn't even care 😬. I want to change that stuff. So youre right, if I am changing shit like that, it would be counterproductive for ME to GIVE him MORE traits along that theme. 😬😬😬 I should try to feel less obligated to portray Zane like he originally is. I still like the concept of "scary zane" (for reasons i explain below the cut) but I might tone it down a bit like with the claws and weird proportions and shit. I’d def make him look more skeletal and undead. That was my original intention, but i didnt execute it as good as I could have.... idk if anyone could tell thats what he was supposed to be like...my bad! But rn I dont wanna redesign him I wanna draw other stuff like normal alive Zane. Sorry LMAO 😳. Like I said in some earlier asks I think, I think Im gonna focus rn on how I should portray season 1 normal not dead Zane so thank you and feel free to share any other Zane thoughts ^_^ SOME OTHER THOUGHTS:

Also I Wanna Argue Some Stuff But I Understand its a Weak Argument Since All of This Context was Just In My Brain (so don't take this as an argument, just as me rambling): I don't want messed up things to happen to Zane and for it to just be ignored. I think if Zane is going to have fucked up things happen to him, as all characters must, its best for it to happen during a season where he actually addresses his feelings about being a robot (learning to accept that he will always be himself, regardless if hes "human" or the "original" or whatever. (thats how I always interpreted his emotions)). But I wouldn't have the other Ninja be very phased by Zane's looks because the whole point is they already love who he is (seasons 1-3 were about getting to know Zane) and now Zane himself just has to learn the physical, robot part of him is okay. Its about person-hood rather than humanity. Because the season focuses around Zane's soul, and because he lost his original body, I feel like I could mess around with his current, temporary body and have fun and make it scary. Because that body should be irrelevant. I understand it possibly being upsetting for an autistic character to be designed like this, but other people I talked to see it the opposite way. They find it comforting for him to look so different but still be himself and be so loved. SO IM ABSOLUTELY NOT saying its wrong to be bothered or to hate it or to feel any way. Just that I personally think it would be cool for Zane to be portrayed with a little spice lol, so thats why I like scary Zane for season 4.

Another Thing I Wannna Say But Is REALLY Hypocritical: (this isnt directed at anyone I just REALLY want to say this) I know I say "this is Zane but scary, he looks like fnaf" so he's obviously dehumanized, but I always felt like "scary" is more of an objective fact. Its an instinct. But what's "not human" is subjective. I think there is a problem with saying anything different from "average" human is dehumanized because that could extend to real people. Lol I know its bad for me to compare FNAF-ass Zane to real people, but I mean he could be real. People can have exposed teeth, and people can be shaped weird. And when someone first sees a person who looks like that they'll probably think "woah those features are scary" by instinct. And that surprise doesn't make someone ableist obviously. But bring that person’s humanity into question is NOT an instinct, and is fucked to shit. This is kinda a bad point for me to make since its about the fictional FNAF Zane I drew, and I am NOT implying ANYONE was thinking like this. [especially not the original asker anon who I am totally forgetting about at this point OOPS]. But I just thought it was an opinion of mine I couldn't go without mentioning when talking about dehumanization and disabilities.

^^^ I think you (anon) understand what I mean and might’ve said the exact same thing as me if you were writing a long ass response? I think this because you started to bring physical disabilities up and you said it was "a little iffy." ^_^ So we agree, but I don't see Zane's relation to real life disabilities as "a little iffy" I see it more like "complicated"? IF THAT DIFFERENCE EVEN MAKES ANY SENSE?????? I feel like a lot of things about Zane are really just complicated and need the right context, rather than the concepts necessarily being wrong -- NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT! THATS THE WHOLE REASON I DO THIS STUPID REWRITE! XD thats why a lot of my rewrite SO FAR has been the same concepts and plot beats, but different dialogue n specifics and such. I like a lot of concepts in Ninjago but I dont think they were presented correctly.....! :( So I guess all we can do is wait and see if I make Zane offensive or not....???

Also something about the memory part - yeah i agree i was surprised no one thought that was weird to make jokes out of his memory issues..... BUT I am like 100% firm on making his memory take longer to come back because I think its stupid how quick Zane was able to recover from literally dying. Like its just dumb to me. Hate it. (also bc memory & soul mechanics is ummm kinda important in my rewrite.... for reasons). Another memory thing btw, I was going to make his original amnesia come from hitting his head in an attack against the Skulkin when they stole his dads corpse, rather than his dad fucking choosing to make him forget. (its a sweet & iconic scene, but Um, WHY?!!!?!?!?!?) He has to follow data recovery instructions he finds in his dads diary. I think in that context it makes moments of memory loss somewhat different for Zane's character? Instead of loss of autonomy associated with disability, its a literal violent loss of autonomy associated with being traumatized by physical force. Idk how to phrase it exactly but I think that makes some vibes different?

Sorry, I think I got really distracted, and I don't know if I responded well to your points. Because uhhhh I think I agree with your stance actually? If I understand correctly? Fuck Ninjago writers for making the robot lose autonomy (a stereotypical robot theme) while also making him seem clearly autistic (NOT A HAPPY THEME FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE) and not addressing it. And also auuugh Zane with a weird body is a difficult topic - kinda sussy pretty iffy.

Lol anyway idk if this made any sense and I REALLY rambled on you. but this was nice 👉👈 more Zane criticism pls love you and i love zane. i hope u dont feel mad at me because then it would be weird that im saying that lol. if you do feel mad at me tho you can send another ask (ILL TRY TO JUST LISTEN NOT RAMBLE NEXT TIME) but assuming ur chill rn, love you thnx

Take this page, don’t mind cole’s ass.

[twinvictim]

your opinions on each of the post team silent games and a rating out of 10. hand 'em over

YEAHHHHHH FINALLY CATERING TO ME!!!

Uh really long post oops. for reference, my rating for the first 4 sh's are as follows

Sh1: 9/10 Sh2: 7/10 Sh3: 9/10 Sh4: 9.5/10

Silent Hill 0/Origins

overall score: 7/10

Alot of the games issues can of course be attributed to it being a psp game, and while i won't excuse everything bc of that, j have to be honest and say I think it had so much potential as a (very) late ps2 game. Not to mention, the game ON THE PSP functions as it should. (The ps2 port does fucking not tho..oops) ans you'll see that this is...a rarity post team silent.

The story has alot of potential, Travis as a character is interesting and sympathetic and j think his dynamic with alessa js super fascinating to dig into, both of them being abused children and there was alot of intrigue regarding his powers, the game feels like a smaller more watered down she, and for that I can't fault it too much. The weapons system isn't my favorite but the combat itself is reminiscent of 1 and 2 and I really like a good chunk of the monster design, there was clearly thought and care put into it, nurses and strughtjackets/lying figures be dammed. The unlockables are pretty cool though and alot of the environments look pretty cool for a psp game, hell i LOVE the theater level its super unique, I would love to see it in (actually functional) better graphics. I also think the puzzles are pretty solid, not hair pulling like sh1 even if they're not quite as clever as say sh3.

My biggest criticisms come from the reuse of sh1 characters (just alessa and Travis would've been fine, maybe dahlia and some more org characters would've been better) the bad ending being straight up bad writing. Not to mention they did the sh3 thing of "kill too many monsters and get the bad ending" which is...stupid. The foreshadowing of the butcher being? He's just kinda there, I like the lead up but it would be more interesting if the butcher represented something from those years between Travis' father dying and him being an adult. And while there's more replayability imo than sh2, it doesn't have difficulty sliders and that makes it kinda hard to come back to quite as often. Not to mention unlike sh1, 3or sh4 there's not as much horror focus and random events.

Overall, solid game its fun to play, very silent Hill and if you're willing to look past a few continuity errors and accept its a little different and slightly derrivitive at the same time, I like to say I had alot of fun with it and still do. (Maybe I just like Travis alot...idk)

Silent Hill: Homecoming

Overall score: 6/10

Once again most of the issues here are gonna be corporate fuck ups, but I'm also not gonna beat around the bush, this game isn't like...good. its bad actually. "But you gave it a 6/10?" Yeah bc its not NEARLY as bad as some other games I've.. experienced.

The negatives here are, many and vast, so let's run them down. Firstly the games performance is janky on console (ps3 at least) and abysmal/unplayable on PC, what with framerate issues that are detrimental to game play on pc and make the third boss impossible. That said on console it is completable and not even too terrible...usually. Scarletts boss fight however is terribly unbalanced and broken on all skews so :/. The combat is...functional but not anyone's favorite, it's difficult to use any actually strong weapon and you can pretty much strong arm ur ways through shit with just the knife (except scarletts first form..don't try it, it won't work) for some people this will be borening (not my opinion but w/e). Most of The puzzles...leave alot to be desired. I hate sliding block puzzles. Also no run button? At all?? No easy mode? Ok... also what is this.. wheel design for the inventory...im accidentally using my serum..what is serum also? And why is the item pickup noise like...bass boosted.

The character models look awful most of the time, and comically unfinished other times, some human models are just grotesque, (judge halloway, Adam shepherd, mayor Bartlett. .you get it) and yes...there are sexy nurses. Bc of course there are. (Whole ass out???) They did straight up have some terrible endings for this game (ph ending for one, the way you get the ufo? Hell the ufo ending is kinda boring. I like the in water ending here too but. Yeah.) the story has some, problems. To say the least.

However, while the performance is bad its not the worst I've played (on the ps3 once again..unplayable on pc) and I hardly noticed the framerate when I was just running around, I personally found the combat kinda fun, between trying to dodge accurately and still attack and not use all my health items (bc those and ammo are actually rare! Unlike some games...) it is kind of a challenge and reminds me of a much worse sh4. And hey, the health items both heal an understandable amount of health that i can easily read with a bar (unlike 1-3) and they're not a complete joke (unlike sh4...) i find the exploration really fun and sure the characters look shit but the environments are Fucking great. The church is one of my fav sections, short as jt might be and yes it stole the confessional scene but its pretty well written and acted I think. The monster design is pretty fucking rad too honestly, I like the schism, siam, I like the DESIGN of the needlers even if they make me so mad to fight, and hey the nurses and ph don't show up that much to be too aggregious. The boss monsters are also fantastic design wise, very unsettling and the boss rooms are interesting as well.

The story has problems but it also has alot of potential, the concept of people sacrificing ther children for silent Hill and being overcome by their own pain and guilt is pretty fucking cool, and alex is a good character they did a good job of giving him personality, ppl bitch about him being a soldier but a) he's not and b) soldiers are people too, and a sh game that could tackle toxic masculinity, be critical of the military, and also tackle abusive religeious parents is pretty intriguing, not to mentions themes of brotherly love that's complicated bc of how they clearly favored Josh . Sure, it misses the mark, but I like taking the potential and thinking about it bc its compelling to me. And like I said, i like alex alot.

Overall, bad game yes, but not the worst as it has enough good for me to honestly really enjoy it, besides it is pretty funny when it is bad. Don't play the pc port tho

Silent Hill Shattered Memories

Overall Score: 8/10

Unpopular opinion im sure but honestly? I find this game ALMOST on par with the team silent games. Its really that good, yes its a wii game, so this is my score taking into account the motion controls BTW.

For the good, man where do i start. Its BEAUTIFUL for a wii game and esp for a post team silent game, the graphics are nice and Constsitent, the environments are pretty and it has a pretty nice cold color pallet to contrast the warmer tones the series tends to skew towards. The acting and intrgrige are all on point and the WRITING is fantastic, its one of those games you play the first time not knowing the twist and play the second time picking up more and more clues and things that strengthen that twist so much more. Like sh2 its a simple story told in such a clever and interesting way that you'll probably be too invested to put it down, I beat it in one sitting in 6 hours bc i was so engrossed in the narrative. And the Puzzles man! The puzzles are phenomenal and fun to accomplish and there's even a little bit of variety in a few places on repeat playthroughs. The level of detail in this game is insane really, the things that change with the different psychology answers are pretty cool too and tho it all plays out relatively the same its still fun to see the different things you can get to happen. The gimmicks like the phone as an object, taking pictures, sneaking and zooming in, they're not too intrusive as to take away from the exploration or other game play but not completely useless and have some pretty fun Easter eggs too. The game plays sort of like a worse outlast with good puzzles and for that I do have to commend it. Oh and the fucking MUSIC is INCREDIBLE idk something ab this soundtrack has alot of heart put into it clearly.

Now, it's not perfect. The thing is, it is a WORSE outlast type game, in the running and hiding sense but well, the hiding is completely useless, its a run away game, which is ok, but I understand that people aren't gonna be a big fan of that when silent Hill has always balanced combat ad puzzles and exploration. The running segments are..aggravating, mostly bc its hard to figure out where to go, not to mention using motion controls that don't like to work half the time to fight the monsters off of you. Also, the monsters are not scarey in the slightest and the raw shock scream is actually enragaging if you've died one to many times, there's also...not really any penalty for dying. And once you're out for these running segments,there's no danger, no monsters, nothing to hide from despite having a hiding mechanic. Its not really a horror game more of a psycological thriller and I understand that the fact that its not horror can be disappointing. The psychology things might be a bit overhyped And yeah fine, the wii foreplay scene...well yeah its weird but it IS also funny as fuck.

That said, there's still alot thats good and alot thas unfair criticism lobbed at this game. Harry didn't have much of a personality in sh1 bc he's a ps1 character and sm really fleshed him out well, not to mention giving cybil some nice characterization, and they did some interesting things with dahlia and kaufmann. And Lisa.. well I'm gonna be honest I never found Lisa all that interesting in sh1..so it doesn't bother me that she's the way she is in this game. I know people hate the "horny" aspect of it but to be completely fair, YOU choose to make the game that way, don't answer in a sexual manner or look at boobs or anything else and you won't have an overly sexual game, its...literally that easy. Its given as an option for the play id they want to go for what is arguably another joke ending. (You cannot tell me sleeze and sirens is meant to be a real serious ending to the game. Cmon) and you can complain about the innacuuracies if you want but its a spin off, a retelling of the original game. Its not canon, and it didn't change the original game. It just took the ideas presented there and made them more human and lest fantastical, there's some supernatural elements but it takes a backseat to the human moments. And its honestly really cool.

Overall, great game, i reccomend it if you don't mind some slight jank with the motion controls and honestly? Look up directions on where to go for the running segments and you'll have a pretty good time overall.

Silent Hill Downpour

Overall score (so far): 7.5/10 *to be noted i haven't finished actually playing it yet but I know the basic plot and some of the details so I doubt it'll change

And so for the final silent Hill Game, I have to say, i don't think it deserves NEARLY the hatred it gets, there's alot about it that i find really cool and even fun and I think its a solid entry, a little better than origins in some parts and its downsides are both unfortunate and once again, mostly Konami's fault . That said, I'm also not gonna kid and say its a good game, just that I like it alot and we should be nicer to the last silent Hill game were probably ever gonna get.

Downpour has a pretty good, original story overall, there's alot to it, alot of intricacies and intrigue to it that honestly make it a pretty sold silent Hill game. Its different enough from the others to stand out but not super far removed from its themes and messages. I like that it doesn't try and lean into the cult aspect and tries to do something else with it, it doesn't try to explain silent Hill, but just use it to torment the characters, as it should be. There's tragedy ad human feelings here and some of them aren't the most...sensitive but they are pretty reasonable reactions id say. Playing as someone who's odds are stacked against him from the beginning as he's a prisoner is a cool way to open the game, someone convicted and you must discover if he is a good person or not. Themes of revenge explored more than in sh3 which is pretty cool. The environments look pretty nice, and i like the look of the otherworld, once again being unique with its cooler color pallet, but without the ice so it really feels like its own thing. The EXPLORATION is awesome with an actual open world which I think works well, there's alot to do in town (unlike sh1 and 0 on limiting hardware and 2 which just pretends you can explore to town but you cant) there's alot for cool little stories and sidequests to do, my favorite so far being the cinema (which has a section of ACTUAL fixed cameras like old Resident evils which is smth SH has never done and its super fucking cool!) And all the sidequess help strengthen murphy as a cheacter and argue for his innocence or complexites. The weapons system is pretty cool, picking up items and attacking with whatever you might find, finding cool Easter eggs with exploration and having fun noticing things. And it does honestly have the strongest side characters outside of SM. The puzzles are pretty solid and fun to figure out with some cool mechanics and the seperate difficulties is a great thing to bring back (actually done well like sh3) I also kind of like the method of triggering the night world/rain/monsters, and silent Hill really feels likes its constantly punishing Murphy, as it should. The music might not be Akira but its still pretty damn good, and fuck yall I like the Korn song, and you CAN press start and skip it yknow. (Thx tomm hewlit)

The negtitives tho, well they are there. For one it has the worst performance of any sh game outside of pc homecoming and like...the hd collection, the framerate like to shit itself alot lmao, its not usually detrimental bc I've played re2r with similar framerates but, yeah its not great. Not to mention while the models look better than hc they don't animate well or often at all, and the game has trouble loading in the models as fast as they should. The sound mixing could use...some work too, poor murph sounds like he's eating the mic. While I find the games exploration really fun, murphy also has the issue of not running very fast so it can be a little annoying to get back to a place you want to be when you can't run that fast, not to mention the loading times. The monster design is def the worst in the series, maybe on par w SM. Which is disappointing bc there's some pretty good moments here and there, but not nearly enough to make it scary and there's so much you can do with monsters with this premise. Also, the running sections in the otherworld are better than SM ad even more engaging than the brief ones in 2 and 3, but still, I'd prefer to do puzzles or fight a boss or smth. I will also say, the endings are, iffy while the main 2 endings are really good and Anne's bad ending as well as the joke ending are great, murphys bad endings are weird and ooc for the muphy you come to know in the game (even more so than Origins) plus, idk that the writers knew all that much about prison andbprison culture, nobody in a real prison would be mad ab Murphy killing a pedo (there's some racist implications here and there too which is. Unfortunate and disappointing. I like Howard and Robbie but they are a bit tropey, esp Howard) that said Anne is a compelling albeit unlikable character and thas pretty cool to see pulled off.

Overall, while it has downsides, I don't think Downpour is worthy of all the scorn it gets, this can have problems and you can point them out without disregarding the good parts and while it is unfortunate it doesn't run better and have some extras and didn't handle some things great, I still think its worth a playthrough, esp if you go out of your way to do the sidequests.

Bonus round

Book of memories is not a game I intend to play bc I don't wanna get a vita and can't imagine I'm missing much. It doesn't look bad pwr say but I'm not interested tbh

Fuck PT. :)

[faerielleart]

Your les mis!levihan stuff gives me life 😭😭😭 Any chance we can get some more headcanons??? 🖐️

ANON MY CHILD YOU’VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE also this is like . Probably really niche so forgive me oomfies for getting really specific about thIS

uhmmm let’s see, i’m trying to imagine the vets’ voices and associating them to the actual stage actors

for erwin i imagine him sounding a lot like either bradley jaden or daniel diges from the spanish adaptation, just a really really powerful voice that makes buildings shake ✨ and recently i’ve found out that john owen jones understudied enjolras back in 1997 and i’ve listened to the audio and i loVE IT so yeah lemme throw a bit of JOJ voice in there as well; and yeah since he’s got the range he’s totally going for the optional high note in “let others rise to take our place until the earth is FREEEE”. for his mannerisms i feel like he’d do his homework and he’d try to emulate book!enjolras more than the usual direction the show takes with this character. i imagine erwin’s fav moment in the play would be getting to “scold” marius-levi for being distracted by his love for hanji-cosette. like i just see him really exaggerating the “MARIUS YOU’RE NO LONGER A CHILD” in red and black during rehearsals and idk the thought gives me life lmaooo also in drink with me he’d totally go for a hug with mike who plays grantaire (erumike stans make some noise), as anton zetterholm used to do back in 2013/14 and in general would be really touchy with all the students on the barricade. he Loves the red and gold vest, absolutely hates the paris outfit. he is so tall and wearing the all black suit he feels like he looks like a penguin. also HATES being in the ensemble playing a convict during the prologue bc the fake dirt is really hard to wash off and he doesn’t want to stain the pristine white shirt he wears as enjolras

for levi it’s a bit harder to find a voice that suits him as the play tends to cast tenors for marius and levi is clearly a baritone in this au so i’m going with classic michael ball, who might be the marius with the deepest voice i’ve heard among all, with definitely less vibrato and definitely less less less less polished vocals as in my au dude has never taken singing lessons. i feel like he’d absolutely loathe having to sing “in my life/a heart full of love” at first bc come on can you imagine levi singing shit like “IN MY LIIIIFE SHE HAS BURST LIKE THE MUSIC OF ANGELS, THE LIGHT OF THE SUUUUN” SKDJDKSMSKAHSH but yk after spending more and more time with hanji mf actually starts to enjoy it 😳 but his favourite scene to play i guess would be drink with me, bc it gives him a weird sense of nostalgia and deja-vu that he really can’t explain to himself but it’s a pleasant feeling. would probably dread having to sing empty chairs at empty tables bc it’s nerve-wracking for him as it’s a bit out of his range and doesn’t want to make a fool of himself in front of the audience if he fails the high notes on “the very WOOORDS that they had sung BECAAAME their last communion” and “oh my friends my FRIEEENDS DON’T ASK MEEEE” but he’d emote really well nonetheless even with unpolished vocals good job bby we’re all proud of you!! also hanji totally helps him out with vocal exercises. refuses playing a convict in the ensemble and gets yelled at by the directors for it but there’s no way in hell he’s smearing fake dirt all over his body. he loves the paris suit tho makes him feel ✨classy✨. doesn’t roll up his sleeves at the barricade bc he feels like an idiot

for hanji WELL i see her voice being similar to katie hall, with a really giddy and carefree take on cosette and a strong tone that’s never screechy; compared to many cosettes i feel like katie has a much less soft voice and is actually really loud? as if playing christine in phantom of the opera (IF YOU CAN’T TELL KATIE IS MY FAV COSETTE AND MY FAV CHRISTINE so of course imma assign her to hanjo). cosette is a soprano role and i imagine hanji as a mezzo with an amazingly developed upper range and head voice (thank you @ hanji’s parents for all those classical singing lessons). also katie has a really nice belt and her fantine has me scream and cry so yeah that’s hanji’s voice in my head, just imagine it a lil bit deeper! hanji’s fav scene would probably be the wedding bc of the thenardiers acting goofy, and her fav song to sing would be a heart full of love just bc she gets to witness levi acting bashful while singing “cosette, i don’t know what to say” and she answers “then make no sound” with the biggest shit eating grin EVER and levi wants to say “stop making fun of me four eyes” SO BAD but he can’t bc he’d mess up the scene and they’d have to start again and he’s not sure he can handle staring lovingly into hanji’s eyes and holding hands and oops maybe at some point the whole “falling in love” thing stops being an act 🤡 what a clown he is,,,,,,, ALSO hanji probably loves being an ensemble member in the the lovely ladies scene as well bc of the bright exaggerated make up?? and all the dirt like she has so much fun in the dressing room smearing the paint all over her body and then putting on white powder and smudged red lipstick and bright red unblended blush. loves the combo corset + pants in the scene

also can i just say that the abc cafe is pretty much everyone’s fav scene bc they get away with teasing the shit out of levi without risking their lives lmao

[twilightofthe]

Chapter Nine liveblog of The Mandalorian Season 2!  Let’s go!!!

Recap time!

Oh shit the ARMORER I MISSED HER even if it’s just her voiceover lol

Y’all I am fucking PUMPED

Oh shit yeah Fennec Shand’s not dead I wonder if she’ll show up again too 

GOD I MISSED THE SOUNDTRAAAAAACK

OOOP OOP OOP OOP OOP HERE WE GO HERE WE GO HERE WE GOOOOOOO

THAT’S MY FUCKING SON AND HUSBAND

THERE THEY ARE

LOOK AT THEM

THEY’RE JUST WALKING AND I’M IN LOVE AGAIN

BABYBABYBABYBABYYYYYYYYYY

HIS WIDDLE FUCKING FACE

OH NO HE’S WHIMPERING

OH BABY YODA GOD HOW I MISSED YOU

YES MR TWI’LEK LET THE CUTE BABY IN

YES LOOK HOW CUTE HE IS

*cinemasins voice* Space wrestling!

Oh yeah it’s those green pig species guys from ROTJ whose names I never remember, Gamoreans?

Wherever I go he goes KILL MEEEEEEEE

Lol bruh looking for other Mandos won’t teach you how to find Jedi, it teaches you to pick fights with ‘em 

HAHAHA THE BABY IS CASUALLY LEARNING MORE VIOLENCE YES I LOVE IT

Heyyy it was Gamorrean!

I feel like I know Cyclops’s voice for some reason

Lol look at Din he has sense

Ohhhh boy fight time

Time to see my husband kick ass

Oh shit shit shiiiiit is there like, a valuable underground trade for beskar and Mandalorians???  SHIIIIIIIIIT

LOL YEP GO HIDE WHILE DADDY WORKS BABY

EPIC GUITAR WAILING NOISES YESSS

ARMOR HUSBAND KICKING ABSOLUTE ASS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

THAT WAS A FUCKING SASSY HEADBUTT LOOOOOOOOK

HE’S SO AWESOME I’M ;_;

HELL YEAH GET THAT TRAFFICKER BABY

AND CUE THE AWESOME ASS RECORDER THEME

I LOVE ME A MAN WHO NEGOTIATES

Whaaaaaat a Mando on Tatooine?  Good thing my Mando on Tatooine fic is an AU!

Mos Pelgo, huh?  New city!

Pfff it’s been literally less than ten minutes and I’ve already typed THIS much

OHHH SHIIIIIIT HE’S LETTING THE TRAFFICKER GET EATEN ALIVE DAMN SON

BADASS RECORDER NOISES INTENISFY

Oho, “The Marshal”, huh?

WAIT MARSHAL AS IN LIKE “MARSHAL COMMANDER”

ARE WE GETTING FUCKING CLONES?

OH GOD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

And there’s Peli!!!!!

Holy shit my fic did pretty well predicting that xD

Lol I love her

She is Me

BABYYYYYYYYY

wrinkled critter

Din she doesn’t know what a Mandalorian Armorer means

I LOVE PELI

HOLY SHIT WE’RE GETTING A MAP OF TATOOINE

SHIT I CAN USE THIS

BABY STILL LIKES CAR RIDES

Omg he’s actually sitting with the Tuskens!

TREAT THE TUSKENS LIKE PEOPLE AND NOT UGLY STEREOTYPES 2KFOREVERRRRRRRRRRR

Dang the way he walks tho

(sorry I had to *coughs*)

“Someone who looks like me” pfff Din

Wait hang on a second this “Marshal” isn’t fucking Boba Fett is he he better not

But shit this is on Tatooine it makes sense--

I’M BAD AT MANDO ARMOR IS THAT BOBA IDK I CAN’T TELL IN THE BACKLIGHTING

Ah a blissful stranger.  Not a clone tho, dammit, that would have been nice

He sounds young too, I recognize his voice

WAIT A FUCK THAT IS ABSOLUTELY BOBA FETT’S HELMET I MIGHT BE BAD AT MANDO STUFF BUT I’M FUCKING POSITIVE

oh damn and he just took it off in front of Din The Orthodox Mando WHOOP

Shit I know that guy’s actor who is he

OH NO OH NOPE HE’S NOT EVEN A REAL MANDALORIAN HE’S JUST AN ARMOR THIEF WHO STOLE BOBA’S ARMOR THIS BOI IS GONNA DIE AHAHAHAHA

Ahhh we’re going cowboy movies again

Wait so Boba wears real beskar now?  I thought his wasn’t

Lol yep here we go Din’s goin’ after him now

“He’s seen worse” Din NO, THAT IS HOW YOUR CHILD LEARNS TO STRANGLE PEOPLE FOR ARM WRESTLING

Tatooine’s got earthquakes?

2012 is that you?  Lion King antelope stampede hello

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT IS THAT A KRAYT DRAGON

I’VE WANTED ONE OF THOSE FOREVER

IT’S AN ALASKAN BULL WORM

No really damn what is that thing lol

Could be a Krayt dragon?  But idk their designs

DIN YOU JUST ABANDONED YOUR CHILD IN A POT MY DUDE WHY

AHAHAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSS A KRAYT FUCKING DRAGON HELL YEAH HELL YEAH FINALLY AFTER FORTY FUCKING YEARS.

Ngl I was hoping it would look a little more stereotypically “dragon-ish” cuz I’ve been entertaining this ridiculous fantasy of Obi Wan befriending one in the Kenobi show and learning how to make the noise

But giant angry sand worm friend is also good!

Din bro careful last time you agreed to hunt something on Tatooine with someone new that dude betrayed you

Ohhhh flashback!

Oh for fuck’s sake why are we adding MORE slavery

Y’all know you can also have literally anything fucking else on Tatooine besides slavery

Gah sorry y’all

Lol Jawas again

And more Wilrow Hood ice cream machines!

Ok but so did the Jawas literally fish this off of Boba’s body, did the Sarlaac shit it out and they found it, or did Boba actually sell it to them?

Oh damn and these ppl probs knew who Boba was too

Oooh dinosaur-hyena thingies

DIN SPEAKS TUSKEN

I LOVE HIM

MARRY ME

Ok but now I REALLY wanna know how Din learned the Tusken traditions

GOOD BOY ALERT!  GOOD BOY!  IT’S A GOOD BOY!  DINOSAUR-HYENA IS A VERY GOOD BOY

TUSKEN CULTURE OH MY GOD I’M LOVING THIS

This is not a time to be a picky eater bruh

Ok there Anakin let’s settle down a bit

DIPLOMACY BY FLAMETHROWER DIN I LOVE YOU

Ok so if you eat a sarlaac does that also technically count as eating two meals since you’re also eating whatever it’s been digesting in its stomach for a thousand years?

Yep Alaskan Bull Worm

OH NO IT SCARED THE BABY :O

Din training a village to fight this thing is a wee bit harder than training them to fight an AT-STsaurus Rex

WHY DON’T WE JUST TAKE THE TOWN AND PUSH IT SOMEWHERE ELSE?

This really is just the stereotypical Western episode but kinder to the natives

Damn

“Are you trying to blow us up?” ooooof they WENT THERE

More teamwork!

“Belly is the weak spot” hey so like Smaug!

Wait a fucking second I wasn’t paying attention did they bring Baby Yoda to where he could possibly get eaten by a dragon again

Oh yeah “dank ferrik” is another SW curse

Wait why are they just standing there and letting the Tuskens get eaten

Gahhh everyone’s being so brave I’m proud of them!!!!! :_:

OH EW FUCKING GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS

Gah I HATE vomit scenes especially unexpected ones

Sorry that’s like, a super major squick for me

And dammit they didn’t even kill the worm

Oh and now it’s up there and VOMITING AGAIN I HATE THAT

Oh shite that’s acid

Oh please be careful baby

Ok wait wait wait how did the Jawas even salvage Boba’s jetpack enough to make it fly the whole reason Boba got eaten was because the pack broke

Oh and now I’m seeing a bit of Jaws in this too

Bro noooo are you gonna blow up that bantha?

DIN NO YOU RECKLESS-ASS BITCH

B o i

Actually let himself get eaten

Din where are your braincells

Aw Baby nooooooo

Uh oh I sense more vomit

Or not!

Ok bro that was p badass

Ok yeah Marshal is p hot 

There I said it

ASLDKJFSDLKFKL OF COURSE BABY YODA EATS THE RAW DRAGON MEAT

That guy is hoooooooot

“You tell your people I wasn’t the one who broke that” lol yep Han better look out

Huh?  We getting excited over MORE eggs?

Oh goddammit and there is Boba Fett because of course

Knew it was too good to be true

Lol sorry y’all just wasn’t particularly excited to see him

Guess that means he willingly gave up his armor, huh?

BUT ANYWAY THIS WAS A BRILLIANT EPISODE

AND I LOVED IT

AND THE TUSKENS GOT THE RESPECT THEY DESERVED

Ok but it also seems at least Marshal and the rest of the townsfolk had the same backwards view towards the Tuskens as Anakin did, now I REALLY want to see RESPECTFUL discussion on colonialism on Tatooine, I gotta know more about this

Still super excited for the next ep!

Aaaaaaaaa!

[griffinsanddragons]

Personal Thoughts on Malyen Oretsev

After I completely my re-read of King of Scars I plan to read the original Grisha trilogy again.

In part because I miss the series and also because I really want to see if my memory of who Mal is as a character matches up with who he actually is in text. 

I’m publishing this because I guess I want to talk to someone about it lol

From what I’ve seen it’s pretty popular opinion to really dislike Mal.

I remember having pretty neutral feelings for him. I didn’t like him but I didn’t hate him either. My feelings ended up more negative leaning but they shifted a lot while I reading the book. 

Because I read it twice, I remember him best in Shadow and Bone. First as the guy Alina liked then as the guy who came back and was mean to her for ‘no reason.’ 

I realized a little later that this child was traumatized, oops!  But I liked him the second half the book and I was happy with the direction his and Alina’s relationship was going. 

It’s the second two books where my memory gets hazy. 

I continued to like him during the first part of Siege and Storm but then I slowly began to change my mind. 

From what I remember, he starting acting out. 

I think at some point he admitted to wanting things to go back to how it was when he was the center of attention and Alina was at his side and I understand that--wanting to go back to normal when things around you are terrible but at the same time, he didn’t take into account Alina’s feelings.

And it really felt like he just did not want her to be Grisha anymore (or rather he wished she wasn’t at all.) 

This is a good time to say that I read Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom before the Shadow and Bone trilogy so I was already well aware of how bad treatment of Grisha could get. 

It felt like was one of those people who’d date you but then when you talked about your oppression once says things like ‘...but do you have to talk about it all the time?’ 

I remember he apologized and tried to make it up later but me having read his character like that really soured my opinion of him.

I honestly do not have a great memory of Ruin and Rising and I do remember the foreshadowed scene where Baghra heard his voice and said he sounded familiar. That was pretty sweet. 

In the end, I remember feelings let down because I felt like they could only be together after she lost her powers. I felt so weird about it.

BUT 

Despite that, Mal is the best love interest for Alina. 

I can’t exactly remember all of his growth but I know that he did grow so I’m looking forward to seeing that progress when I read the book again. 

...

As for Nikolai and the Darkling...

I love dramatic characters and they’re both dramatic and great. 

As characters I like them both more than Mal but they aren’t great matches for Alina. 

Nikolai is a good guy and is fun and charming and cute but Alina didn’t want to have to play the political game all her life. Though he cared for her, it is a lot to expect someone to grow into love after you’ve already married. 

He’s a great guy tho...I would have married him. 

The Darkling is another character I like a lot but he’s the villain of the story for a reason.

As a character he’s compelling and cool and he is absolutely correct* about the way Grisha are treated. I like villains who are right. (Even better is a villain who is right and ends up changing the heart of the hero, like Killmonger in Black Panther.) 

But I mean...you can’t love someone who tried to enslave you. No matter how much ‘free will’ she might have had, that collar gave him power over her. (and yes I know the influence goes both ways but like...that was not his intention when he gave her the amplifier we know that. Plus, that's a bad situation lol)

Come on...and then he like...attacked other Grisha! Blinded his Mom! Kids died!!!! 

Villains do villainous things and his ‘no matter the cost’ attitude makes him a great character but...Alina could never seriously love him because she’s a fundamentally good person (even if she makes some...questionable choices.) 

A good hero-villain flirtation can be really fun and interesting but that’s all they could ever have. 

But I mean I like him tho...I like him a lot but this post is not about that! 

What I’m saying is that even if he’s not my personal favorite he’s obviously the one Alina should be with. 

And that’s the post. That wraps up my feelings. 

When I read the books again I’m going to look back on this post and see if my memories of Mal are right or wrong.

*I typically have a love-hate relationship with villains who are right because often it’s used as a tactic to demonize the idealology their fighting for but I don’t get that vibe from Leigh Bardugo’s writing. It’s clear that the Darkling is wrong in his actions because HE’S unhinged, not because there’s no real oppression happening.