#you messed up little idiot
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Sorry in advance if I come off as rude, but can you tell me why you ship each member of 1010 with their S/Os? (You have great taste, and your takes are unique!) Have a great day/evening!
Absolutely not rude what-so-ever! I'm happy to talk about my little ship ideas and junk! Glad you are interested! You also have a great whatever-time-it-is-for-you! :D
(Also I will say, all of these ships are the ones that are for the standard OG versions of 1010. Depending on AU, I actually ship the 1010s with different people!)
Rin:
For Rin, I ship it with Zuke, mainly because of the fandom actually lol. I will say that Rin is probably my least favorite 1010 and Zuke is someone I never really truly care for until later on. Even with that I think the two are very kind and sweet, both being fairly laid back and relaxed until their siblings annoy them over the edge.
It also helps that I see them both as sex-averse asexuals (or -repulsed or whatever the term is used, I personally use sex-repulsed but I know others don't like that term because it puts sex in a negative light). So they just really find comfort in each other.
Basically their relationship is just pretty basic but wholesome, supportive, and loving. The only times I see them as having issues is when Rin and Purl get into fights and Rin is in the wrong (which happens actually quite a lot).
Purl-hew:
Purl is in a very open relationship with DK West and the lead singer of Ex-Jay (Cyril). The three date each other in a triangle and then have hook-ups with randoms on the side. Purl is the most active in hook-ups, then West, and sometimes Cyril will go out with a random person but he usually just dates Purl and West.
Now my reasoning for shipping these three can vary depending on the day, but the most consistent reasoning I have is them being enemies to acquaintances to kinda-friends to friends with benefits to "oh no I have feelings! Better push them away" to lovers.
Purl is the main reason West and Ex-Jay's music careers kinda fell short/stagnated. West and Ex-Jay ended up becoming friends thanks to Bunk Bed Junction, which made them have to interact with 1010 at times. West and Cyril basically bullied/teased Purl a lot for them ruining their music careers while 1010 pushed Purl to apologize.
It was just a mess of repressed emotions and isolation on Purl's part which ended in them having a small breakdown causing their vulnerability to be seen by West or Cyril, depending on the way I want the story to go. But either way showing this vulnerability is what caused Purl to start becoming friends with West and Cyril (also Ex-Jay).
Drugs and alcohol get in the mix later on pushing Purl to start separate relations with West and Cyril, which later turned out to them catching feelings for the other two. Then comes the trope of Purl pushing everyone away because they feel like they can't love properly and so they hurt the ones they love to not feel more pain in the future, until they are confronted by Zuke to finally just open up and stop being an emotionally constipated idiot.
In the end these three really are just a whole mess of problems. They are definitely not healthy when they first start officially dating, definitely have problems moving forward, but they communicate and help each other and just end up in a really good position for all three of them.
Zimelu:
I will say that at first I shipped these two just because of their looks. Both are very beautiful to me and that was my main reason I liked them together.
As I explored their relationship in my head though, I liked the idea of them being just friends at first. Probably because Eve was trying to get Purl some friends but it was actually Zimelu who hit it off with Celine and not Purl (those two do end up being friends at some point, but in the beginning it was Zimelu and Eve that were the only reason Purl hung out with Celine)
Zimelu definitely has a crush at first but doesn't feel like she is Celine's type because when they first met Zimelu was still identifying as a man and Celine identified as a lesbian. Though it was Mayday and Celine who helped Zimelu figure out she was actually a woman. Which only made Zimelu fall harder for Celine (while also developing a small crush on May).
Thankfully Celine saw Zimelu as the woman she was and started to develop feelings for her as well. They kept their friendship up at first, not really knowing of each other's crush and trying not to push too fast in fear of ruining something before it even starts. After some time though, Purl is able to help Celine and Zimelu break the bubble and officially start dating! (Depending on things either Zimelu and Celine are the first to start dating, or Rin and Zuke are).
Haym:
Haym🤝Mayday🤝Eve: Bisexuals.
Okay, so May and Haym are dating, and May and Eve are dating. Eve and Haym are not dating. So it's like a corner/angle type thing instead of a triangle.
May and Eve start dating because they find common ground in trying to understand each other, while May and Haym start dating because of their personalities meshing together really well.
I don't really know who starts dating who first, I kinda feel like Haym and May would start dating first and over time May and Eve start to fall in love making May worry about being unfaithful but Haym is just like "oh cool! You want to date her while dating me too? :D"
Definitely Haym and May's relationship is more physical and fun, while Eve and May are more emotional. Not saying that May and Eve aren't physical or that Haym and May never have serious moments, but that each relationship has it's own feel to it.
Haym is definitely there for Eve and vice versa, but they are more just friends. Sometimes they will go on a big date, or do something physical with all three, but it's mainly the two relationships between May.
Eloni:
Okay, so like at first I was just shipping them with Barbara and Joey just to ship them with someone. I know that is a stupid reason, and honestly I was thinking about just ending the ship between the three in my head.
However, I really REALLY like the idea of the three being a queer platonic relationship. It is definitely going to take some time for them to get really close, but when they do they really do help each other out a lot and even think about moving in together.
If any 1010 was going to move out of the mansion it would definitely either be Eloni to go live with Barbara and Joey (who are either already living together, or making the arrangements to do so with the help of Eloni).
I just really see them making a life together being critics: of music, games, architecture. They grow together and learn how to love each other and themselves. I can see Barbara as a workaholic who never takes care of herself, Joey as a cynical ass who needs to see the joy in life, and Eloni as a very self-loathing person who wants to make other's happy but can't make themself happy.
Together they just become a group that brings out the best in each other. Joey is laughing more, taking things less serious and enjoying himself. Barbara is working less with the help of Joey and Eloni and finally taking time to learn what she likes to do in life. And Eloni is coming more out of her shell and even talking because he wants to be close to the other two and shows she cares (Eloni has a hard time being verbal in uncomfortable situations or when not in his stage mode so him being able to talk around Barbara and Joey is a really good thing).
Final Notes:
So yeah, those are the main reasons I ship what I ship. I do have a lot more to say about Purl (maybe not a lot but I could get more in detail), but that's just because I've been rotating them in my head for months now, and didn't want to make this even longer than it already is.
I'd say the only relationship in here that I might change later is Eloni/Barbara/Joey, for reasons stated above. The others are pretty set in stone. If anything else were to change it would just be adding a another person onto Purl's open relationship, but for now I see them as just sticking to West and Cyril as main partners and then having one-night-stands with randos at a bar or something.
#nsr#no straight roads#nsr 1010#nsr rin#nsr purl hew#nsr zimelu#nsr haym#nsr eloni#noart#asks#eritalks#erithinks#purl my beloved#you messed up little idiot
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horror being very specific with table manners and he berates people (dust and killer) for eating like fucking pigs
i think it'd be morbidly funny that because there was no food in horrortale but the cutlery and stuff was all there that maybe he would pretend to eat with no food on the plate. it was in a satirical way that he would joke maybe around horror paps or alone where he would pretend to eat and have really good table manners but then the satire joke became REAL and now horror is incredibly specific about how to eat food
you MUST hold the fork in the left and knife in right says horror. no killer you can't duel wield the fucking knives this is a table not a slaughterhouse. dust pick up your elbows off the table. actually how about you get your entire upper body off the table tf why are you SLEEPING ON THE FOOD??? killer's sitting fetal position in the chair because of course he wouldn't sit normally like the idiot he is. dust is forced to put his hood down and reveal his face no more mysterious shadow style because it puts horror at ease. they cannot have a single peaceful meal because once they get past the table manners phase it then becomes a completion to see who can eat the least (because they suck at everything including eating)
#hey guys. every time i don't post it feels like i'm abandoning my own children#NOOO im sorry i'll come back home... i wont abandon you chat PLEASE DONT MAKE ME PAY MORE CHILD SUPPORT#i've been a busy little bee i snicker out. and by busy i mean playing. and by playing i mean hi3#i'm sorry my brain literally cannot handle having more than one interest. once i get into something else the other thing becomes ignored#IT MAKE ME SO UPSET BECAUSE WHY CAN'T I DO BOTH OF THESE THINGS I LIKE EQUALLY ☹️☹️☹️☹️ is this a me problem#anyways none of these tags were related to the post. i usually do little extra tidbits adding onto the post when i tag huh#i just recently learned (2 years ago) that youre supposed to put the fork and knife in that order. i still mess it up#i've been drawing on this notebook from the same brand from what i drew on in 2019 AND GODDAMN 🤤🤤🤤#this notebook is SO FUCKING SMOOTH I LOVE IT 🤤🤤 drawing on this paper is like drawing on fucking BUTTER it's delectable#a shame nobody likes traditional art i cry out (i'm not particularly skilled in either traditional or digital)#you could call me a jack of no trades master of none#got this idea bcs i was listening to binomi (HARDCORE MARETU FAN SINCE I GOT A PHONE. WHAT YALL KNOW ABOUT MARETU‼️‼️‼️)#and i was like omg food theme.... horror. so i drew it in earlier mentioned notebook#and i was like hmm what positions should i put the fork and knife. and then i got this idea#i KNOW cannibalism songs aren't exactly horror themed. but let me be delusional i wanna give my boy a cool theme and cannibalism is soo coo#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#tricule hc#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#this is funny but in a sad way because i added context to it. as is with all my mtt content#it's comedic because i think they're all stupid fucking idiots but i also make them do this dumb shit bc theyre traumatized
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Today I'm thinking about manga versions of Maxie and Archie, because it's something... I even dont have words for it. Like. Holy fucking shit.
In the beginning, of course, they're confront each other - that's the classic, they're rivals after all, standing for different things and all that things. They're different. They're opposites. They're still strongly exist in each other lives, because of their conflict.
But then
This happens. And this IS beginning of the end, because of course they're working together - and at the moment it looks like it is only for benefits for their goals, nothing else. They will destroy each other when they will get to finish.
They're fucking irritating(/pos), it almost feels like they're drawn to each other, in any scenario, their destiny is to meet, to exist in each other lives. None of them exist alone (and when one of them do exist alone, it means that something went terribly wrong).
AND THEN THINGS JUST GO EVEN WORSE (/pos)
This panel. I don't know where to start.
Do I need start with that they're realizing they work together perfectly? Do I start with that this making them thinking they needed to work together from the beginning? Do I start with that two men, who, up until this point, was fighting with each other and conflicting, hating each other, founded in each other the best partner they ever could have? Do I start with that they're probably the best persons in each other lives?
It is already very emotional (at least for me), but with how story goes on, they're connecting more and more, becoming even more emotionally fucked up.
AND THEN THERE IS EMERALD ARC???? CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT EMERALD ARC???????
There is so much going on in emerald arc I barely can find words for describing my emotions.
This is the fucking tragedy. Because, what do you mean, they're put in situation where is only one of them can leave alive for some more time? (Remember how I said that if only ONE if them exist it means that some shit is going to happen something going to go really terrible. It either them both exist or them both don't).
What do you mean Archie is literally killed Maxie, just for chance of living a little longer?
And this is tragedy, because Archie, in the end, loses again. And now, not only he does lose in literal sense - he didn't achieve his goal, after all. He loses everything he had - his team, his life, and most importantly, he loses his only friend. He is all alone now.
Ah yeah can we talk about
This?
It's just one phrase. It has so much in it.
Not only he calls Maxie friend, not only he confess that Maxie probably the only one person which Archie was thinking as a friend, but also like.
Consider this: this isn't oras archie yet. This version of archie is cold, closed and gloomy, genuinely intimidating person. He doesn't care about his team members, it is kind of okay for him to use them as tools (which, ironically, shows even in this interaction with Maxie: after all, Archie still killed him for a chance of living a bit longer. And Archie acknowledging that he betrayed Maxie. He betrayed his only one friend). He is a cold person, but it almost seems like Maxie managed to warm him up a bit, just a little bit. This is actually incredible and, again, endlessly emotional, and I still can't stress this enough. Holy fucking shit.
Just imagine Archie at this point. Imagine, because, the best person in his life always was his rival. His rival, and maybe, even friend.
And I told about this before, but can we talk about that in distorted world they became one? It's just so symbolic. Like, Archie and Maxie from beginning were opposites, they was supporting opposite things, their goals was completely opposite. But they can't choose only one of this, because everything around them is a combination of different, sometimes opposite things. Like even the land and water in Hoenn! Exactly this combination of land and water create Hoenn as we know it, and how they know it. And they, people, who choosed only one of these things, in the end, became the one themselves - isn't this ironic? Isn't this funny? Isn't it symbolic in some way? (I also fucking love how this fusion explain in some way why when oras hits, Maxie is more like original Archie, and Archie more like original Maxie. They had explored each other minds I'm sure of it)
And finally, ORAS, part that I love the most.
Not only they both was given chance of living again, but this is literally their peak. They're working together again - and by that I mean they're working perfectly together.
They even acknowledge it themselves:
And this is so good in contrast with Ruby and Sapphire arc - back then, they too, realized and started to think they're work perfectly together, but it still was mixed with some evil fucked up shit, but here? They're working together because they (ironically), have the same goal. And they're helping each other.
They're working together perfectly, this is so good for them. And no evil bullshit this time! It's actually best versions of them in some way - because they're working together, for sake both of humanity and pokemon. They working towards happiness and safety for everyone, not choosing and prioritizing only one of them.
And they're talking to each other as if they was old friends, partners, every one of their interactions shines with this somewhat warm feeling. This is so good for them. I would even dare to say that ORAS part was the happiest moments in their lives.
And.. Then end of ORAS hits.
And, again, as classic already, it's a small panel, but how much here is.
First of all, can I point that Archie died two times, and both times he was thinking of Maxie in some way?
And both times is some kind of emotional moment for Archie: first time, he calls Maxie friend (he doesn't call him by name, but. He obviously talking about him COME ON), and second time he ask Maxie, if he would want to work together again, if they will have chance to do so. I just love seeing this progression, how Maxie became more and more dear person for Archie as time goes on, how he became more attached to him. And Maxie does too!
It is such an incredible moment filled with so much emotions, with so much sense. I love how Archie doesn't even say his question fully, but Maxie still understands him. Of course he does, because, I'm sure, even if Archie didn't ask this, Maxie still would think of it. I'm sure if none of them said this, they still would understand this wish to work together again that they both have. At this point, they are incredibly connected together, and they have only each other.
I also love this moment, because when Archie died first time, he was told that, if he will continue like this, he will end up all alone. And Archie agrees to that: he answer in the way that he is already accepted that he is alone now, and he doesn't even have Maxie by his side (I still can't get over that he really highlighted him in this speech holy fucking shit). BUT then, when he appears next time, he appears as ORAS self, and his ORAS self is very different from what he was, not only as a person, but his motivation is different, too.
He changed in some way. And he ISN'T alone, because now, Maxie is by his side again. And I can't stop thinking about how happy it probably made Archie.
And even dying, he is calm, because he isn't alone. He have Maxie by his side. His only friend.
#pokemon#pokemon special#hardenshipping#i can't stress them enough#somebody tell Archie you dont call people you killed your friends#i cant stop think about their cold and warmth symbolism#and that Maxie probably really warmed Archie up in some way#they're both fucking IDIOTS#They need to kiss#they make me feel emotions#im traumatized by them /pos#*screams into the void*#they invented love they invented fucked up relarionships they invented true friendship they invented «holy fuck whats wrong with you both»#dont seperate them they will bite#they have so little moments but all of them hit you with fucking car#and then process to make bloody mess from your brain#sorry for my bad english btw i cant fucking write words
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look at hims dancy legs
#there was a very friendly border collie that he was feeling a bit worried about#a few weeks ago he turned a blind corner and rushed up to say hi to two cattle dogs#on leash#and they were not appreciative#one snapped at him and he screamed and ran back#and then was very weary and sad for the rest of the walk#the owners were very very sweet and also a little unaware that their dogs were being spicy lol#but they had every right to be angry that a giant red idiot sped round a corner and crashed into them#luckily they laughed it off#whereas i was a shaking mess and very ashamed of my child's behaviour#anyway i was like great here comes the fear reactivity towards other dogs#but thankfully it has dulled his enthusiasm without creating reactivity#he now cautiously assesses other dogs before greeting and honestly its much more pleasant#thank you scary cattle dog#it was miller checking in to make sure the red dog isn't a total flunk#sprig#dogs
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I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn
#I think I'm getting about the same amount of spoilers as a few weeks ago except now I understand them#But like. I expected so much of him#Seeing gifs of that one scene in which Gojo gets distracted because of Geto almost made me watch this a year ago#Geto was actually my favourite character in that one JJK fanfic I read that I mention so often even if he had literally one scene#I know so much of the emotional turmoil and conflict in JJK and Gojo in particular depends on him#And you're telling me he's Thanos?#I learnt a few days ago that everything pretty much happens in one year. That there's one year between Geto's death and Gojo's#I thought it would be like ten years. Ten years of the act haunting him#But no? So it's not a broken teenager who has these ideas and is killed by another teenager to stop him?#It's a what? ~30yo man saying Light levels of stupidity? Even worse perhaps?#Goodness I hope this is not so. I hope this is better written than what I am seeing#Because goddammit I can't do it. It would kinda ruin every emotional scene from then on?#That one scene I was so looking forwards about patting Gojo's back or whatever. The one in which Gojo gets distracted. It just. I don't know#I won't be able to be moved if Geto doesn't work xD#I was fearing I wasn't going to like him a lot because my expectations were big but oh my god please not like this#This is way worse than I expected. Someone tell me he actually makes sense. What's the point of this whole political play#in which no one is fully wrong and no one is totally right otherwise? What is the point of the haunting. This feels just idiotic xD#And I don't care about the traumas and all that. That works for the teen not the ~30yo man#It would have worked if Gojo would have killed him like 1-2 years after everything not like a few months ago. Last winter#After like ten years a 30yo man should have realised this plan sucks.#Even if it's utilitarian. Who is going to make clothes? Buildings? Streets and railways? Bread??? Go have a talk with Nanami please#We have been told there are not a lot of jujutsu sorcerers. How are you going to fulfill all those needs out of nothing?#And even if it were little by little so the needs could be getting fulfilled little by little too#If you decimate humans won't that cause more curses? I guess he's thinking on the long run but still this plan seems like a mess#I hope it makes more sense than it's looking it will make because of my god this would truly be the last nail on the coffin xD#I am being more and more tempted to get to Utahime and then just drop this. This is breaking my heart xD#It could be soooo good and it always almost is#And then. AND THEN. Abfksbfndbfkan#Jen pick me up. Come solve this. I am scared xD#I talk too much
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thinking so so hard about LaughingStock and how that'd go down. disastrously, probably
#and ill talk about it at Length in the tags until tumblr cuts me off like a rowdy drunk after last call#please keep in mind this is all in my Brain and relationship dynamics etc are all technically speculation. anyway#so while franklydear is your more classic 'oh no im in love with him! / aw shucks im in love with him<3'#laughingstock is 'feelings what feelings / oh shit oh fuck this is bad'#to Me.#in my mind howdy is completely oblivious to his emotions#he's out here like 'gotta get the store impressively neat & shiny for barnaby! and everyone else' without blinking an eye#he starts assembling barnaby and wally's dogs slower an slower so that barnaby has to hang around a smidge longer than usual#he's out here giggling at barnaby's jokes while sweeping Hours or Days after the joke was told like a lovesick idiot#all while being like Ah Yes Barnaby My Dear Friend. My Platonic Buddy Whose Jokes I Laugh At A Little Too Hard. Platonically.#meanwhile barnaby Realizes his own feels. has a minor crisis. goes through the 12 stages of grief and absolutely panics#he's like 'ok just gotta play it cool. normal. dont be weird. he'll fall for your natural charm in no time'#'ill hold all of my feelings right here until i die or howdy reciprocates. i just cant tell anyone about this.'#'....hey wally you can keep a secret right'#and rizzes it up yk. rolls a nat 20 on charisma every time without howdy even realizing it. ig barns rolled for stealth too#and from barnabys pov its going great!#howdy is flirting back! hes showing all the signs! when eddie views their interactions he comes to barnaby later and is like A+ gay as fuck#so barnaby is a soft pining mess and howdy is Absurdly Oblivious despite being a clever & observant guy#so im imagining (will freely admit that this Train of Thought is slightly inspired by the latest chapter of Stamps by Indigopoptart)#that eventually barnaby is Confident in their budding relationship ok. hes ready to ask howdy out.#everyone who Knows (wally & eddie) are like Go For It He Clearly Loves You#and when barnaby tells howdy. howdys like 'ohhhh geez um im really flattered 🥺 but i dont feel the same 😔😭'#cue barnaby turning into the 'never again' meme while trying to laugh it off and pretend like he didnt just have his heart mr starked#so he goes home to smoke his pipe and cry and howdy goes about his day feeling Strange#why cant he stop thinking about that confession. what are these emotions. i mean its not as if hes in love with Ohhhhhh No. Oh No.#so howdy has his 'holy shit! im in love with barnaby! (lovestruck. swooning) ....Holy Shit I Rejected Barnaby (horrified. nauseous)' moment#cue howdy expecting barnaby to come by in the morning as per Routine so they can talk. he Doesnt. cue howdy stressing the fuck out over it#meanwhile wally sally (eddie sent her in his place. hes too busy) and barnaby are having a girls day (eating ice cream and watchin romcoms)#eventually barnaby hears that howdy has been Dropping The Ball and cant not check on him. cue emotional heart-2-heart outside the bodega#this is all very specific but its in my brain. these scenarious lull me to sleep every night lately
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“There is special providence in the fall of a sparrow.”
The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark : act v scene ii.
#hamlet#there’s so much ‘alas poor yorick’ art we need to get some fall of a sparrow appreciation in here#fr it’s such a fire line#this hamham is vaguely based off dt 2009 hamlet#bc i think about the fact that he wears jeans and converses to the duel slightly too often#like maybe THAT’S why you lost.#idiot. /affectionate#i thought that eleven people die in hamlet turns it its only nine#so it messed up my symbolism a little bit#but no one has to know#heheheh#back in my shakespeare bs (i never left) everyone buckle up
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I’ll never understand younger siblings whining about their older siblings moving away like I bet yall were nasty and annoying too like wow all those years and you claim to adore the older sibling and post oh woe is me the older sibling abandoned me … girl … the older sibling didn’t have a parental certificate or anything.
#since when were we friends nor did I have any obligation over you or towards you#we are literally roommates here acting like we’re friends#dora daily#I say this cause I saw yet another younger sibling on tiktok trying to make themselves a victim like the older one is clearly avoiding the#whole family and changing their phone number so u guys don’t contact for a reason like wth did you guys do that’s so bad they would go#through all that trouble#‘older siblings will never understand how doing that affects us physically and mentally’ oh quit whining and cope#I didn’t have an older sibling I relied on only myself heck not even strangers help me when I’m in dire need#I think yall need to cope harder and wake up to the real world#not all younger siblings but a lot of them like my little brother 13yo is good id never want to abandon him but the rest … yeah bye#idgaf you should’ve not been an idiot because believe me ik kids mess up but not like this#and now she’s grovelling at my feet bye grovel harder#like just an hour ago or so she came up to me and was like I’m going to school for the first day are you gonna miss me#I said no because she always tells me no when I ask her if she missed me#and somehow she had the audacity to be upset like okay#the same girl who tells me to move out btw#my mum said oh u have to be her best friend cause if she has nobody here then she will have to rely on strangers#and she would find herself in trouble cause they don’t have good intent oh gee I wonder which person caused me to do that#it’s honestly ironic#like Eris and virtue happened because she couldn’t step up and be a normal mother byeeee#and anyways whyre you acting like having a sibling is essential#it honestly isn’t like why would I be nice to a girl who dogs on me and beats me up and is disrespectful#she’s not that young anymore she’s almost 12#‘oh they have different personalities’ well i hate hers and im not to be forced to like it either its my right
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i guess im being offered the job lol
#i didnt even have to interview????? here i was worrying about oh god going for an interview#but i guess not???#manager called me just now and was like hey i spoke w the people they want to know if you can start on these dates#like. okay???????#theres a week of training for me to do and then the following week id start at thee job#like an idiot as i was saying bye on the phone i only remembered then that i should have asked if it was PAID training ugh.#im assuming so . but maybe not. idk#im gonna call him back on monday to give my answer#this is it.... i may finally be free of the annoying people....#but like anything i have my trepidations. bc who know if itll work out#well thats life. as the song goes#fortunately im still within the timeframe to change the amount for my commuter benefits pretax card thing#bc the monthly pass id need for the new job#costs like less than half of what i pay now for the bus to ny#crazyyyyy. anyway i gotta do that if i decide to take the job#its more money (a little. but still more. ok its like a dollar and 4 cents more. which not a lot but still)#i get more sleepytime (always good) and im saving on commuting#plus ill only have to pay nj (and federal) taxes. instead of also paying ny yay. thats good#sorry again weighing the pros and cons onstage here#UH. what else#well a shorter commute is good but it means less reading/music listening time#although ive only resumed reading recently lol#idk. well then i could read at home and not worry about my books getting messed up#these past couple weeks ive been :( that the like 70-something year old paperback ive been taking is getting a bit rougher#only a little. but yesterday it got a bit wet bc my bag got soaked in the rain#why am i taking a super old book to work well i dont know what to tell you we have some old books#ok getting off topic. everything seems good about the new job so fuck dude i guess ill go for it#finally free of the stupid people here.... on to new stupid people (undoubtedly)#well it's probably all good then but unfortunately i always worry what if it isnt. hm
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they should invent a kind of yearning that isn't obscenely expensive to satisfy
#x#have you ever desired someone so bad it made you want to die#like every moment you spend together is so precious that it makes the physical & logistical limitations into pure agony#i should be able to bring her water when she's feeling overwhelmed & help her with her little daily tasks#then make sure she's well fed & held tightly until she falls asleep#& i should be allowed to do this Forever!!!#& i shouldn't feel like i missed out bc i fell asleep bc my body's all messed up from my stupid idiot shiftwork#& now i won't have those moments back & I don't know when I'll have another chance to see her &. god give me a fucking gun already.#gnawing at my own leg until the bone snaps.
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i do still stand by this and it's kind of upsetting me they don't hate him but they really obviously dislike him and his place in the story
#like clearly nobody knew what to do with him after cw and every appearance he has afterwards shows this#actually the lack of a role makes it even more obvious#i always feel a little dumb for saying this but it wouldn't be wrong at all to say they didn't want him near steve#and now steve is gone so we have a character with very little real development and his closest tie to the story is gone#forgot what my point was. my point is poor bucky#ok i remember. it's always upsetting to think about the way he got tossed to the curb#i wasn't in the writers room i'll never know what went down there but it feels painfully obvious#gone from the scene gone from steve's life after cw and then again after iw and then fr left behind#and now he's just one half of a duo and nobody knows how to utilize him#tf&tws is a mess and the biggest parts that stick out to me are his mischaracterization and general dumbing down#half the time he's acting idiotic and childish and when he isn't doing that he's just being a bitch!#it's unfortunate because you can see what they were trying to do but it doesn't work for him or the show itself#it's really so bad dude#bucky isn't the only character they fkd up here but i think he's the worst offense
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#we joke about fanfic authors deeply researching the smallest details to make fics accurate#which is true and i have done many times (i could tell you the history of yankees baseball caps. i do not care about yankees baseball caps)#but . idk . maybe we stress over the smallest details bc when we dont. we get comments criticizing us 🤪#for being linguistically inaccurate once (1) in a cute silly lil fanfic . oops#and as i am typing this i am telling myself its a silly lil fanfic and its not that deep but#idk. im always kinda nervous to read comments bc im like what if they call me a stupid untalented idiot#but then i mostly get nice comments. so i try to remind myself. people are nice#but im still always a little nervous. and then its a whole paragraph about one thing i messed up in 1k words 💀#like ok! now im kinda sad! now i feel kinda bad about myself! now im kinda embarrassed!#what are you trying to achieve by criticizing fanfic sorry 😭😭
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I held off on drawing Yuichi for SO LONG cause I was too scared to draw him…. Now he is my muse. I adore drawing this goofy fur ball
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#yuichi usagi#rise usagi#usagi yuichi#rottmnt Yuichi#rottmnt usagi#you bet your ass I’m gonna draw leosagi soon#I’m tryna get my usagi a bit more cemented down first tho#he’s just a straight up Child and I love him#he’s a little bratty#sass master#but don’t worry!!!!!!! he’s still an idiot#still the same boy who got a grape stuck in his nose for a whole year 🤗🤗#I might mess with his outfit cause tbh I’m Not A Fan of what I did#but I’ll have to think on it#also might line and color this;;;;;;;#doodle bug
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(prematurely) suffering from a “breakup”/separation that won't even be mine
listening to heartbreaking music and thinking “wow, damn, this will totally be mo and i am Not Ready For It”
and when im spacing out im imagining a whole angst fanfic about when It Finally — Yet Unfortunately — Happens
tianshan has fully consumed all my time without me knowing
#ok so warning theres a lot of tags😭#19 days#tianshan#if u have songs that remind you of them. pls commentt#i cant listen to classic j dies without going HOLY SHIT IT FITS THE CHRISTMAS SPECIALS SO PERFECTLY#or white ferrari 💔 the#i care for you still and i will forever. that was my part of the deal honest#💔 fucking he tisn#IVY. THE WHOLE SONG.#90 MILE BEACH.#THE look at you youre all grown up dont look at me cus i gave up#i was waiting for us to move i had it all planned out#i love those little things that ring me alone to remind you that you owE MEEEED#AND AND THAT ONE LINE IN ILLICIT AFFAIRS#dont call me kid dont call me baby look at this godforsaken mess/idiotic fool that you made md😭#i used to think this would be mo if he tian ended up leaving At The Worst Moment alas#if tianshan ever did oficialize when he tian had to leave.. and.. well.. look at where we are#I THINK THATS ENOUGH TAGS BUT#STUBBORN LOVE AND MEET ME IN THE WOODS. HE TIANS POV.#OH YEAH HANDS BY ORKID THE FUCKINF WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE WHEN TOU SAID YOU WRRE MINE😭 MOOOOO
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i think its awesome how every single one of my f/os, romantic or otherwise, would smoke weed with me EXCEPT dave. hed joke about it but if i asked him he would be so fucking scared. mf would never
#and thats MY TRUTH!!!!!!!#like i ask him and he says yes out of instinct so i set everything up and start to just like walk him through the basics#but he just chickens out. he does NOT smoke WEED im SERIOUS!!!!!!#hes scared little scared idiot baby little fucking loser cant pick up a blunt#he wishes he could cause its cool or whatever but he could never. or alternafively he doesnt get affected due to adhd#but hes too scared to say anything so he just. pretends#i dont care if this is ooc maybe he smokes when hes older but if you asked him before like 25 hed be so scared#cherry chats#im going to bed. im just mourning the 2g i LOST awhile back#like i just. forgot where i put it. and i havent been able to find it so i havent gotten high in like. months LMFAO#shit lets be rails ill be the shoosh to your pap#that said i bet he loves messing with me while im high. hes like the worlds trolliest trip sitter#and by troll i obviously dont mean the. homestuck kind. whatever you get it#hed think thats so fun hes so great
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god i hope i can up my dose
#i have this like delusional fear that im gonna fuck the injection so badly that my dr is gonna swipe my T and be like. not only are you#trans but youre also an idiot so im not letting you have this anymore go fuck urself#but like thats so unlikely but idkkkkkkk#more likely is if i mess up he'll tell me what im doing wrong and i can like learn#its literally just filling the syringe i get nervous abt#sometimes i have to like fuck with it a little
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