#you look away for 2minutes

[batbusiness-schooldropout]

Tim: Am I seeing things or does that anime boy have a spider for hair?

Jason: It's an octopus dumbass

Tim: Oh sorry, my bad

[ha1taniwh0re]

Childhood crushes

Warnings: poly sex, oral(m and f receiving)

Not very proud still working on writing poly sex

When I was a teenage girl I always loved boy group called D€L1NQUENTS. I would always dream about all members. The group has 4 members, oldest Ran Haitani than his brother Rindou Haitani, Kokonoi Hajime and youngest Sanzu Haruchiyo. Ran is a leader of the group and lead rapper, Rindou is main rapper, lead dancer and center, Kokonoi is visual and face of the group also lead vocalist and our maknae of group Sanzu is main dancer and main vocalist. I could never choose one to be my bias so I had a crush on all of them. They gave me dream to debut too and I did, not as idol but as dancer. THERE dancer. When I found out that I will from now on work with my childhood crushes I almost fainted. Today I came early to practice a choreography that Im making for some girl group. When I opened the door of dance room they were inside just chilling and waiting to start practice.

"Good morning everyone" I said and bowed.

They looked at me and smiled.

"Good morning to you too (name)-chan" theu said together.

"You came early today, can we know why?" Ran asked.

I put my water bottle and belongings on floor and looked at them.

"Im doing a choreography for Lula so I wanted to make something before we start our practice for your concert" I said and smiled.

"Mind if we watch you?" Rindou asked.

"No problem at all"

They moved somewhere so they won't be in my way while I dance. A choreography was more sexy style so when I finished Im not surprised by what happened next. Boys were smirking at me and came very close to me.

"Can I help you??" I asked a little bit nervous.

I mean I still like them so yeah I am nervous when they are close to me. Ran was behind me and he pressed my back to his front part and played with my hair. Rindou and other two were in front of me just smirking and eyeing me.

"Tell us (name), is it true that you want us? That you dream about us fucking you till you can't walk?" Ran asked me whispering it in my ear.

I blushed a lot and when I wanted to turn to face Ran, Koko took my hand and pulled me to him. Our lips were just millimetres away.

"Yes or no babygirl?" He asked.

"I-i.... I do" I said a little bit embarrassed.

"Well we still have 1 hour more till others start to come" Rindou said.

"More than enough to satisfy this princess right here" Sanzu said.

Koko was still holding me but when he wanted to kiss me he stopped.

"You want this?" He said.

"Yes"

"Than say it" he smirked

Even tho I was horny at that moment I was still shy.

"Please guys"

I looked at other 3 who were smirking too.

"You should watch yourself doll" Ran said

I was confused at first but second later Koko took my head and turned me to look at him and kissed me. We were kissing for good 2minutes but others weren't of course just standing and watching. Sanzu was kissing my neck, Rindou was behind me, his hands were traveling on my body and Ran started to undress me. When Koko and I stopped kissing to catch some air Sanzu pulled me by my neck and kissed me hungry. Ran and Koko took each of my breasts and started to kiss, lick and suck them. I started to moan into Sanzu's mouth and Rindou took opportunity to slip his hand in my panties.

"Fuck... guys"

"Isn't it feeling good baby?" Koko said

"Aren't... h-here cameras??"

"Who cares?" Rindou asked while kissing my neck.

"They will enjoy with us" Ran said

"B-but someone can send it t-to medias"

"And what? Is this a rape?" Sanzu asked

"N-no"

"Than it's just celebrity porn" Koko said.

"Rindou please don't stop"

"Looks like someone likes this situation" Rindou said.

Sanzu, Ran and Koko got away from me and Rindou, I turned around and started kissing Rindou while he was fingering me. I don't remember how but we got to sofa. He took my panties off and started to eat me. Other 3 came to us but this time naked. Ran was playing with my breasts while I was sucking and giving handjob to Koko and Sanzu.

"Fuck baby you are good at this huh?" Koko said

"Damn Haitanis you should try this" Sanzu said.

"Well let's switch" Ran said.

Now Koko was the one who was eating me and Sanzu was playing with breasts while Haitanis were having there time.

"Fuck it baby I need you" Sanzu said.

I was confused a little but than I felt him entering me and damn he was huge.

"Sanzuu it's too big I can't"

"You could suck, you will handle it too"

He started to go fast and it felt like heaven.

"Omg Sanzu yes right there please"

Other 3 were smirking at me for enjoying this moment.

"Fuck im close"

"Awwww princess you want to cum?" Ran asked.

"Yes please"

"Well you need to ask nicely" Rindou said.

"Please guys Im begging you"

"Not asking but she said please" Koko said.

"Come on princess cum on his dick" Ran said.

I didn't need to hear it one more time because I came all over Sanzu's dick. When I started to catch breath Koko put me on all four and entered me.

"FUCK KOKO "

"Baby is a little bit sensitive huh?"

"You can take his dick doll right?" Rindou said.

I nodded as yes but damn there dicks were huge. They changed so many positions. The last one was me on top of Koko while I was sucking other 3. Do I have to say that I cumed like 10 times? After all of them finished I almost fall asleep but than I felt some hands and like someone sat on sofa.

"Princess are you alright?" Ran asked.

"mhmm"

"Doll let's dress you up and we go to drink some water okey?" Rindou said while helping me to stand.

They weren't really gentle so I fall immediately, but Sanzu and Koko caught me.

"Woops careful baby"

They helped me to dress and gave water and some crackers. We all sat on sofa and they give me attention and everything and they were so sweet.

"You were doing great baby" Sanzu said.

"Yeah you were wonderful love" Koko said.

Ran and Rindou were cuddling me.

"Hey princess do you want to repeat this sometimes?" Ran asked.

"Really?"

"Yeah beautiful but don't think of us just as sex partners okey?" Rindou said

"So something like dating?"

They looked confused a bit but then smiled.

"Yeah something like that" Koko said and kissed me.

------------------------------

@depraved-ending @rybunnie @icarusthefoolish @elli4ever

[bobattef]

Kylo

“Me? But I’ve not long come back from Mission Control, I’ve barely been signed off 2minutes!”

You plead at your commander but he has no time for your excuses.

“You have been called up personally for this, what else can I say?”

For a start, you can explain what this mission is exactly.

You think to yourself, not out loud of course. You know not to answer back your commander.

Instead, you grab your helmet, not even having time to clean it, you trudge down the corridor to General Hux’s quarters.

You were looking forward to a bit of time off after the last mission, yes it was successful but it was tiring one.

You sigh out loud as you round the corner of the halls, your boots almost dragging across the grid floor.

You’re met with 3 other personnel there. 1 other pilot and 2 storm troopers.

Great. 

You think to yourself, you’ve never gotten along with any stormer trooper before. It was like theres some sort of built in competition between you, a TIE pilot and the troopers, but you both serve the First Order so have to put your differences aside. Especially on missions.

And ones that only needed 4 of you to complete.

Two of them are in a low humming of a convo as you nod towards your fellow pilot,

DS-62 

you note their ID number on their badge. 

I don’t think we’ve flown together.

You try to remember previous missions or training exercises but your thoughts are cut off as the door you’re gathered outside of, hisses open and you almost step back in fright at seeing him.

The supreme leader. 

Kylo Ren.

You’ve never interacted with him before, just caught glimpses of him from a far. 

His presence is always felt, no matter the distance between you both.

He towers over you, despite you wearing your combat boots which usually give you a little aid in height but he’s so tall, broad shoulders too. 

No wonder there’s a silence that falls over you all stood there waiting. 

He tilts his head to the side, looking you up and down, as if he has a built in scanner inside the mask.

Not saying a word, you look up at where his lenses are, hoping he doesn’t take the full eye contact you’re giving him as disrespectful or anything. 

“Hmm” he almost scoffs as he walks away, the sound of his heavy boots almost matching the sound of your heart beating inside your ears.

What was that about?? You try not to show the others your feelings through your facial expressions and are glad when you hear General Hux calling out for you all to enter the quarters.

“Take a seat” he continues as he powers up the holoprojecter.

You choose to sit right next to your fellow pilot as the two troopers sit on the opposite side.

Already the competition has started. 

You spend the next 20 mins or so listening to the General’s explanation about what he wants from you.

It’s a simple rescue mission.

Hence the low number of team members.

It’ll be a stealth one also.

Which is why he asked for you and DS-62 personally.

Both of you have a 100% win form on your pilots license.

“If this is a simple fly in, pick-up rescue, then why do we have two storm troopers here?” DS-62 asks the question that was on your mind too.

“It’s stealth, but not easy” Hux smiles but there’s no humour behind it at all.

“Think of them as a ‘back up’ for just in case” he uses his fingers in the air to quote the back up.

“Just two interceptors?” you pipe up. 

“Correct” Hux replies.

“And where are we expected to fit the accompanying troopers on board each one?” You enquire, the General goes to speak but the door behind you all hisses open again.

“There’ll be in my ship” a voice bellows out.

Even behind his mask, using a modulator, Kylo Ren’s voice almost vibrates through him.

Your eyes don’t leave him as your fellow pilot turns back to the general “and to which planet are we flying to for this rescue mission?”

“Hosnian Prime” Kylo and Hux both answer in sync as your heart drops at the name.

Your home planet…

***

Your hands are shaking slightly as you start to power up your interceptor.

Just focus on the mission.

You tell yourself. 

No-one, nothing, else.

You get the go ahead by your ground hog, he waves you out of the base onboard StarKiller and as you pull away, you glance at your rear cameras, always taken aback at the sheer size of the thing!

Much different to the tiny cock pit you’re sat up in snugly right now.

After punching in the coordinates, you set off to the Hosnian system.

You haven’t returned since you were taken or ‘saved’ is how the first order tell others.

You were only 16 but already your life hit a rut being on the planet Hosnian Prime. 

The first order had its cons for sure but still, you wouldn’t have seen even a smidgen of the many planets you’ve traveled to since joining them.

Your memories flashing through your mind takes up the time it spent to get there and as you’re flying through the atmosphere, you see Kylo’s Command Shuttle fly next to you.

“Stay close” his voice sounding so monotone over the coms piece.

He chooses to land just outside the main hustle and bustle of the city.

This place hasn’t changed in the slightness in the short time you’ve been away.

“We’ll go in by foot” he says once you’ve powered down the ships.

You don’t like the sound of this.

You’re a pilot, flying is what you do.

You’re not a ground trooper.

You look at the storm troopers that have pulled their blasters out their holsters now, and you hope they give even an ounce of care for you.

***

Simple rescue mission my ass.

You curse internally as you’re crouched down in between two land speeders that have been taking the brunt of the blaster fire coming your way.

The troopers didn’t last 5 mins, they really just are hired for cannon fodder these days.

You don’t even know if DS-62 is ok,  he got hit and fell somewhere behind the main doors you had managed to get though to find this so-called person in need of rescuing.

Kylo was up ahead, you were hoping it was due to him that you heard others screaming in pain.

You heard the buzz of his lightsaber a few times so it must be him!

I bet he doesn’t even know you’re not dead like the others.

You look around, trying to find a way out of the many blaster bullets flying past you. 

It’ll be fitting to die on the soils that you were birthed on.

You think to yourself but quicky realise the blaster bullets have stopped.

You don’t want to peer up from your little shelter you’ve been crouched under.

It could be a trap but as you start to count down from 20, getting ready to peep a glance, the land speeder, which now riddled with blaster scorches, gets pushed out the way, revealing your hiding place.

“Who’s this?” 

You force yourself to look up at the voice and see an old-ish man looking down on you.

“I’m, er, my name is” you start to stutter as you are convinced these will be your last words but a familiar voice shouts out from behind the mystery man.

“She’s with us, now let’s move!” 

It was Kylo, holding up the man, as he was clearly injured.

You make your way through the city streets. 

“It’s too risky to go to the ships now, we must lose them first” Kylo tells you as you round another sharp corner and down another dark alleyway.

“We need somewhere to lay low. And to fix you up” Kylo says to the man.

Wait…you know where you are.

“Follow me” 

You tell them both as you sense both their uncertainty.

Miraculously, you had ran into your old ends of the neighbourhood. 

“Here” you were whispering now as you click the door open, remembering the code after all this time.

Kylo sat the man down on what looked like an old cabin bed as the dust that had settled there erupted under its disturbance.

He looked around at any openings or windows that you would be caught through but there were none.

Instead he quickly worked out this was a lower grade apartment in the rougher areas of Prime.

What you would call ‘home’.

It had been a long while, but the electricity buzzed alive when you switched the main circuit on.

You tried the tap attached to the small sink but air came out instead.

“Dank Ferrick!” you let out a frustrated sigh “no running water I’m afraid, the tank must of seized up after all this time”

“This is your home?” Kylo asks you, walking towards you.

You’re quickly reminded about the sheer size of him.

“Er, was” you clear your throat “before I joined the first order” 

He doesn’t say anything to you. 

Just keeps his helmet bearing down on yours.

“How long we staying here?” the man asks, looking around at the sad looking decor.

“Do you have a medi-kit?” Kylo asks you but you’re already walking over to the chest you had left here.

Rummaging around you find an old box of medi supplies.

“The bacta shot might be a bit iffy but I have bandages” you tell your supreme leader as you see to the injured man. 

Basic first aid training was always given to those serving in the first order.

And you do your best with what supplies you had to fix up the man’s blaster scold he has on his hip.

“You’re lucky it didn’t penetrate the skin” you tell them both as you walk over to the sink, dumping the used supplies into it.

“Think you can move out yet?” Kylo asks him but the man has started to shut his eyes whilst laying on your old bed.

“Perhaps a little rest will help the pain settle?” you say out loud, feeling the day catching up with you also.

“2 hours. Tops!” Kylo replies to you as he stalks over the corner of the room, leaning against a few of the crates stacked there.

You don’t realise that his eyes are focused on you as you click the release button on your helmet.

It hisses as you lift it above your head, you sighing in sync with it.

You did like your pilots bucket but it’s been about 4 hours since you put it on last, that’s a bit too long for you.

Shaking your hair out of the shape it had stuck to underneath you wish that tap had just a little bit of water inside it still.

Kylo’s eyes are still on you as you sink down on the pile of old clothes and bits, you’re so tired this feels like the softest bedding you’ve ever laid upon.

You go to kickoff your boots but think better of it, that might be too much.

You look over at where Kylo was perched up with the crates. You can’t work out exactly, as the lights are so dim in here, but you’re sure he his staring right back at you.

“You ok?” you ask him quietly, trying not to wake the man.

But he doesn’t say a word.

“Are you injured??” you ask him, suddenly sounding so caring.

“No” he breaths out through his modulator.

“You?” he asks back, after a long pause.

“No…surprisingly” you scoff at your luck.

“Wasn’t exactly prepped for an ambush” you don’t mean to sound so cold but you most definitely needed more than the small number of personnel you were given on this mission.

“Nor did I” Kylo answers back, softly. Like he has an ounce of compassion behind that mask of his. 

“I hope he’s worth this” you call out to the dark, whilst looking to where the man was snoozing on your old bed.

“He is” is all Kylo says back, you hear his footsteps move closer to where you’re laid on the ground.

You go to ask if he wants a few bits of clothing to make up a bed but before you can open your mouth you feel the weight of him shift as he sits down on the same pile you’re on.

You stare up at the low ceiling as your mind starts wondering.

It suddenly becomes very hot inside your old apartment, which is ironic as it’s always been on the cold side before.

You hear his breathing change slightly under his mask.

You’re touching armour to armour as this make shift bed isn’t quite big enough for two people, especially one of Kylo’s size.

“Everything ok officer?” His voice sounding a lot more raspy than usual.

You’re not sure if he can see you in the darkness but you nod your head anyways.

You feel him move again as this time he faces you.

You see the lines in his mask lighting up crimson red from where it was damaged previously.

You never knew how and quite frankly, didn’t have the courage to ask which is why you shocked yourself when you did say what you said to him out loud.

“How’d you get these?” your voice barley a whisper.

“Hmm?” He replies. 

Is he falling asleep? 

You bring your hand up to his helmet.  

Lightly guiding your hand over the patched up crack it clearly took in the past and you’re sure you hear Kylo stop breathing for a second.

You almost gasp out as you feel a gloved hand grab your wrist, pulling you away from your touch.

“I’m…im sorry” you gulp.

What were you thinking, you can’t touch the supreme leader like this?!

You hear a click of his tongue behind his mask.

“Rest if you intend on resting” is all he answers he places your hand back down by your side.

You do what you’re told as your worries about going too far with him disappear behind your eyelids.

***

Sunrise is still a few hours away.

Kylo was adamant that 2 hours was enough but it had been more like 4 hours.

You had both definitely dozed off.

You work your way back out the outer circles of the city and the familiar shape of your interceptor comes into view.

“My ship!” Kylo shouts as you turn back to look at yours. 

It’s the first thing he’s said to you since your little hiccup back at your old apartment.

Climbing up the ramp into his, you feel a pang of sadness.

Yes interceptors were almost all the same but you had flown that particular one on your last 4 missions and had the set up down to a tee.

The man, walking with out aid now, joins you both inside the shuttle.

You’ve never set foot inside this ship.

You’ve never really wanted to.

But if Kylo orders you to do something, you do it.

You feel the pull in the pit of your stomach as the shuttle pulls away from your home planet and into the darkness of the night sky.

After being so annoyed with your helmet before, you’re glad for it now, as it’s great at hiding the way you’re chewing on your lip with worry. 

You overstepped your mark last night, will there be any consequences?

It doesn’t seem to take long to reach the Starkiller base once again.

You’re met with General Hux and a few other troopers when you step off the command shuttle.

“Congratulations pilot” your commander stretching out a hand to shake yours.

“You made it back, unscathed too” 

“Yeah..thanks sir” you don’t mean to answer so nonchalantly but you’re still a bit pissed that you were sent in blind.

Kylo doesn’t even glance towards you as he follows the medic officers with the man you had both rescued.

But you don’t care.

You have returned back to base and a hot steamy shower is calling you.

***

Why can’t you sleep?

It’s been a long ass couple of days.

Back to back missions, with the last ones events still replaying in your head.

I can’t believe you caressed the supreme leaders face!

You get up from your bed in annoyance with yourself. 

It’s 4:05am.

Not far off 6am, the time your alarm would be going off, so what’s the point of a few extra hours of being awake.

You get dressed into your slacks, hoping you get a few days off round base to chill out.

Walking around the corridors of Starkiller at this time is so eerie.

You see 2 other troopers on your travels, night shifters.

They watch as you walk past, staring through their bug looking helmets as you just trudge along, with no purpose.

You have no idea where you’re walking to, maybe just up another level and round again and then you’ll head back to your quarters.

Just as you press the button for the elevator up, the door slid open and you see Kylo ready to step out, without his helmet on.

You take a few moments to take in his features, you’ve never seen him without his helmet on.

His hair is dark, almost falling over his eyes as he leans his head down towards you.

His face sporting a scar down the right side, almost mimicking the crack on his helmet, you note.

But it doesn’t make him any less handsome.

His eyes are on you also, they drop the entire length of your body and then back up to your gaze that’s still set on him.

You don’t say a word.

The elevator dings shut and carries on its journey, without you in it.

“Condolences on losing DS-62” he starts to say, breaking the silence that had fallen across the floor.

“Huh?…oh yeah, er, thanks” you almost had to pull yourself out of your concentration on his face.

“It was wrong of us to go in so unprepared” his face changing to match the seriousness of this conversation.

“Uh huh” you really don’t know what to say. You’ve heard stories of him ending other troopers lives for speaking ill against him so you stay quiet about your complaints of yesterdays mission.

Already feeling on edge about the interaction you both had yesterday.

“I was just coming to find you, to inform you about er…” he can’t seem to finish his sentence.

“Were you? Were you headed somewhere?” he asks you.

“Er yeah, well no, not really” you tell him without elaborating further.

“Can I walk you back to your room?” But it sounds more like a command rather than a question.

“Erm…sure” you shrug, unsure on what to answer him.

You turn on your heels immediately and he follows behind you, his longer strides managing to catch up with you easily.

You swallow down a deep breath, suddenly feeling very overwhelmed with questions.

Why is Kylo walking you back to your room?

What’s he got planned?

Is he going to end you within the quietness of your 4 walls? 

You were a fool to touch him.

Maybe the First Order doesn’t want any survivors of this last mission?

You were the only one…

You can practically hear your blood pumping in your ears.

Your heart is beating a lot faster than it should be considering you’re in a slow paced walk.

You glance up at Kylo nervously, only for you to notice he’s staring right down at you, not breaking the eye contact at all.

Your cheeks start to heat.

What is going on??

You think to yourself, looking back down at the ground again.

***

You soon reach your quarters, turning to face Kylo, your back flushed up against the door panel.

Unsure on how to bid farewell to someone as important as him in the First Order, he’s basically royalty.

You’re about to tell him goodbye when he speaks first. 

“Can I come in?” his voice sounds so deep, so low without his modulator.

“You want to come in?” you ask him back, you have no idea what to say, your body starts to go into fight or flight mode.

Kylo doesn’t say a word to you, just keeps his gazed trained down on yours, waiting for an answer.

You even shock yourself when it doesn’t take much time to nod “yes”.

Punching in the code to unlock your room door, trying to steady the shaking of your hands.

Adrenaline is pumping around your body, are you about to fight the supreme leader?

Can you even fight the supreme leader?

You’re trained in combat before you’re trained to fly.

Fighting is and always will be a part of an officers life in the First Order but you’ve never been trained to fight against someone like Kylo Ren.

You quickly scout the layout of your room, patrols don’t do room checks like they used to in training but you’ll be shamed if it wasn’t up to scratch when the Supreme Leader is here.

You stand at the wall by the door, quick exit maybe in your thinking.

Kylo walks over towards your bed, he turns to face you but instead of saying anything he sits down on the edge of the mattress.

You really don’t know what your next move should be but it’s like he can read your uncertainty on your face.

You watch him as he raises a gloved hand to signal you over.

Your feet carry you without a 2nd thought, stopping just before him, your eyes not moving away from his.

You’re holding your breath now, is he going to strike you down?

“I can read your ID number, but what’s your name officer…”

His voice making you search his face for his next move.

“Er, Y/N” you manage to tell the supreme leader.

“Can I touch you Y/N?” He tilts his head to the side, waiting for an answer.

You’re taken a back, touch you?? 

What does he mean touch you?

You can’t seem to find any words to answer him so just nod your head at him.

He wastes no time to wrap his hand around your wrist, like he did the previous night.

Pulling your hand up to his face, his eyes close as he guides your fingers alongside the scar he has there.

You hitch a breath, you really aren’t prepared for this.

“It was a lightsaber…” Kylo starts to tell you. Now watching your eyes widen as you let out a breath.

“A…lightsaber??” You enquire further.

“Mmm hmm, a Jedi’s lightsaber” he finishes.

You don’t even want to ask who the Jedi was that was brave enough to strike Kylo so aggressively on the face.

You’re sure they’re good as dead!

You soon get cut off by your thoughts as Kylo uses his other hand to grab a hold of a loop in your belt and pull you closer to him. 

You’re standing in between his legs now, his face not that far from yours due to the obvious size difference between you both.

He reaches up to grab at the zipper that was slightly undone on your slacks, pulling it down slowly he watches as it moves over the curves of your chest and pauses just above your navel.

Your eyes stay on him as he pulls the fabric off both your shoulders, you pull your arms out in instinct.

It’s been a long while since you’ve been touched by another.

Kylo slips his fingers inside your waist band and continues to pull your all in one slack suit down, helping you by lifting each one of your legs out the clothing.  

The way he wraps a large hand of his around the back of each thigh so delicately makes your heart beat faster.

You’re now stood in front of the supreme leader in your undershorts and a crop top, something you’ve always worn under slacks, never knowing it’ll be shown to him, to anyone!

He takes in a moment to drink the sight of you in, the armour that you wore in yesterdays mission gave him glimpse of the curves you had underneath it but he was taken aback by the way your body dipped in all the right places.

He wraps both his hands around your waist, you close your eyes at the feeling of the leather on your bare skin but not for long as Kylo seems to turn you around so you’re facing back to him.

You catch his face in the mirror you had on the opposite side of the room, his eyes are deep pools of black, his pupils practically the same size as his Iris now.

Like how a predator looks at his prey.

Still with a grip on you, Kylo bends you at the waist, placing his legs in between yours now, he pulls you down to sit on his lap.

Your legs dangle either side of his, you can barley touch the ground like this.

Gloved hands of his snake around your thighs, moving higher towards your clothed centre and as you suck in a breath, awaiting him to stroke you there, he surprises you by opening his legs wide, causing your own to spread along with them.

You’re sure he let out a low chuckle as he now can see your face in the mirrors reflection opposite you both. 

You’re unsure where to place your own hands. They were resting on top of your legs but now they’ve been spread apart, you choose to place them behind you on the bed, causing you to stick out your chest as your back arches.

Kylo’s hands start to move up once more, caressing your skin so lightly over your waist, your stomach, over your breasts.

Pulling your crop top down, he pulls slightly on one of your nipples as they harden in pleasure at the supreme leaders touch.

Your head falls back slightly to rest on his shoulder as you start to feel your self start to soak your underwear.

Kylo’s hand grabs you at your chin and pulls your head forward once more.

“Eyes on front” he whispers to you. His lips are so close to your ear as he talks to you that goosebumps start to form across your skin.

“You’re going to watch. Understand?”

You swallow down your answer, you have no words right now.

With one hand on your hip, Kylo moves the other to stroke you lightly through your undershorts.

You bite your lip as you’re too scared to make a sound.

He wants you to watch him, watch yourself in the mirror but you’re unsure if there are any other rules to this game he has you both playing.

His face looks feral as it stares back at you, his fingers have started to pick up their pace and the way he moves them in a circular motion, it causes friction between the fabric and your now swollen clit.

You don’t mean to whimper but you can’t remember the last time you had anothers hands down there apart from your own.

“Mmm, that’s it pretty girl” Kylo almost grunts out as you can feel his hardness grow through his leathers beneath where you are sat.

“Can you make some noise for me?” his lips graze your neck ever so lightly as he whispers those words to you.

Your eyes almost flutter shut in ecstasy but you remember his command from earlier,

Eyes on him…

It’s like he knows a distraction ploy to lull you out the wanting to close your eyes on him, he slips past the fabric of your undershorts and in one quick movement he’s suddenly knuckles deep inside you with two of his gloved fingers.

You cry out at the sudden stretch and the feeling of his leather delving inside you is a sensation you’ve never felt before.

Kylo must of like the sound that fell from your lips as he bucks his hips up into you, the hardness of his cock straining against the fabric in between you both.

“Maker” he rasps out. Enjoying this just as much as you are and you’re not even touching him.

He swiftly moves his fingers in and out of you, the noises that fill your room are lewd.

Cries of pleasure from you,

The wet sounds of your cunt as it contracts around the supreme leaders fingers,

Him grunting at you as you start to move your hips back and forth slightly.

Your eyes still stay on him, watching as his face is  awashed with pleasure just as much as your own is.

You’d never thought this would be as hot as it is.

Feeling that familiar feeling start to build up deep inside you as Kylo switches from his fingers penetrating you, to his thumb rubbing circles on your clit. 

Your fingers digging into his own thighs now as you’ve had to grip them to hold yourself steady on his lap.

“Ah…maker…I’m” you try to tell him, try to let him know you’re close but you can’t seem to string a sentence together right now. 

“Mmm pretty girl, what? What’s is it?” Kylo’s voice is low and rumbles through you both.

“I think…I think I’m going to…ah!” You’re so close, it’s right there, the heat rising inside you, waiting to spill out over your supreme leaders fingers.

Just as you’re about to hit that high, Kylo quickly retracts his fingers from you, your cunt pulsates at the sudden loss of him inside you.

Your eyes fly open as you didn’t realise you had them shut.

You’re panting, trying to catch your breath enough to ask him what’s the deal. Why did he stop?

As Kylo clicks his tongue at you, it’s like it causes your brain to click also.

You didn’t have your eyes on him…

“I told you, to keep your eyes on me” His voice sounded so chilling.

You gulp, you think about apologising, begging him to put his hands back on you, inside you but you just stare into his eyes through the mirror.

You can’t read him. You can’t work out what he’s thinking.

Your legs almost buckle as he moves his own out away from where you’re sat upon them. 

Quick reaction times stop you from hitting the floor face first but your knees take the brunt of it, hitting the cold floor beneath you.  

“I’m..im sorry” you can’t even look at him. 

You’re unsure just how mad he is at you right now.

He’s still sat where he was before and as you feel brave enough to look up at him you watch him lean back slightly on the bed, fumbling with his utility belt, he pulls the leather strap out in one long motion. 

The buckle hitting every loop on its way out.

Your eyes widen as he grasps you by the throat, pulling you up on your feet as he stands from your bed. 

“I told you, eyes on me” he repeats himself.

Like he needs to let you truly understand his reasoning for what he’s about to do.

He’s behind you now, your back is flushed with his chest and you’re so close you can still feel his cock pushing up against the small of your back.

Grabbing you by both wrists, he pulls each arm of yours round to the back of you, creating a space between you.

The muscles in your arms sting slightly at the angle they have been pulled in, using just one hand he has both of yours held tightly together.

Kylo then proceeds to wrap his belt around your wrists, quickly working the leather into some sort of make shift pair of binders.

He pulls the strap, the tightness of the leather stinging your skin as he does.

You don’t say a word to him.

You don’t know what to say to him.

You wish you can see his face, try to work out what he’s thinking.

You must of been too deep in thought that you don’t quite comprehend how he did it so quickly but he’s sat back down on your bed like before.

Except with you being sat upon his lap, you’re now laid across it, stomach down, your legs try to hold themselves up by your tiptoes.

Your try to free your hands, you need to hold on as you’re unstable like this but Kylo places a hand on the small of your back, pressing you into his lap.

“You’re going to count…do you understand me?” He’s lost the lust that was oozing from his voice a few moments ago, the scary, intimidating Kylo Ren is back.

Grabbing your hair by one of your braids Kylo makes you face him “do you understand?” he repeats himself to you.

The grasp he has on your hair causes the movement of your head to sting as you nod in answer.

“3 counts…ok?” he asks you but he doesn’t need an answer.

He’s in control now, he’s been in control this whole time.

You can’t seem to keep still as you’re laid over the supreme leaders thighs, trying to get some sort of grip on your feet on the ground but it’s no use.

That’s when you feel it, or do you hear it first?

You’re not quite sure.

But the instant burning sensation on your right ass cheek has seem to of frozen your body in place.

He struck you!

He full on slapped you on your bare flesh.

You’re not sure what you expected being held in this position and for going against the Supreme Leaders orders but it comes as a shock to you. 

Your eyes start to water as the pain from the hit of his gloved hand almost ripples through your body.

“Count!” Kylo almost bellowing now as he pulls on your hair once more to prompt you.

“I..er…one!” your voice cracks as you speak.

“Good girl” your supreme leader coos at you rubbing the very spot of flesh where he landed his blow.

The sudden soothing voice takes you aback.

If this is a punishment then why is it making you wetter than before.

Your mind starts racing like a ship flying through hyperspace, is this turning you on?

“2 more to go pretty girl, you ready?” Kylo’s voice rings through your ears that are filled with the noise of your blood pumping.

“Yes supreme leader” you answer him.

[popcornforone]

December 8th: Pie

Cooking with Loki

Master list

Who doesn’t love a pie? Sweet, savoury, home made, on the terraces before the football kicks off. All of those are amazing & it’s now cold & we need comfort food right now.

Loki isn’t sure how to share this first pie. His custard is glistening & his latte is nice & hot for him to drink. But he can hear the purring behind him. They can smell it & are hoping to scoop up the crumbs themselves. You walk in & hand loki a knife. “I know you’ve given the knives up baby, but we need a clean slice each”.

This Loki is ready to put this pie in the oven. But he looks concerned. Why is he adding cream now? Has he missed something. Even the cat looks concerned. It rolls its eyes as loki says outloud the recipe for the 3rd time in 2minutes. It’s only after the 5th time that loki realised he is wearing his mother’s apron.

Two pies for loki. Both steaming hot. Both crisp. Both smelling the room so much. He’s just trying to help the steam out before he takes them to the table. You get the cutlery to set the table to eat pudding. “Smells delicious loki” you say. “I hope so” he replies “I hope it’s as delicious as me”. “Nothing is as delicious as your lips loki… well except your custard”

This final loki doenst want to dish his pie up. It’s Instagram ready. The little smirk says it all. He’s proud. He doesn’t actually care if when you start eating you don’t like it. He’s just proud he has made all of this from scratch. His apron maybe a mess but it’s all been made of love. Even the cat is standing away, it knows not to mess with Lokis creation.

Thanks as always for the viewing peoples. I hope you are enjoying these.

[stormyfayethechristianrunaway]

2 Minutes . . .

An older lady sat down in front of me, clothed in a pretty dress and a mismatched holey jacket. Very polite and complimentary to those who were seated around her and passing by. Genuine.

Something about her presence made me think that she had lived through some things. She began to pass the time, having a conversation with a man seated at an angle across from her. He nodded a lot, politely, but with either shyness or reserve.

2 Different cultures. 2 Different worlds.

Two men, one with a bicycle, approached and took up quite a spacious berth in the narrow walkway, blocking the way. Conversation in progress. Looked like an unusual paired duo.

The lady raised her hand to the bike owner and said, “Sir! Sir! Your bike is hitting this man.”

The bike was pressed upon his knee and leg and banging every time the bicyclist moved. The bicyclist slightly moved his bike. No apology or acknowledgment. Rude.

The lady went back to her conversation with the other seated man explaining, “You never know what sets a person off. It could be minor to you, but it could be the straw that breaks a person. You don’t know what a person is going through or what’s in their mind. It didn’t hurt to be conscious of others.”

The seated man smiled a little more openly and nodded. Those seated around began to look inwardly thoughtful and smiled at strangers.

Walls were being broken.

The lady was complimenting the passers-bys. Things like, “Cute jeans with the sparkle”, “pretty bag”, and “nice, clean haircut” to a young man. People were smiling and saying their thank you’s as they hurried on their way.

Suddenly, in mid-conversation, the bike owner’s buddy said something unexpected to the lady. Being disrespectful. The lady defended herself to this ill-mannered clout.

Silence and cautious side-eyed glances from all around.

We didn’t know what was about to occur with this unprovoked verbal attack. It wasn’t wild and crazy, but he suddenly became rude to this lady who hadn’t said a word to him.

The smiling faces became tense and wary.

This woman with the beautiful spirit made her excuses to her new friend, gathered her belongings, and moved to another seat.

She came and left with grace and class.

In the midst of it all, she shall be remembered as a beautiful lady.

2 minutes later, the bicyclist and his buddy exited the premises. Mere yards away, I witnessed their continued conversation from my window seat view. Completely unaffected by their own actions.

I felt my thoughts become downcast. My shoulder blades tightened with newly formed knots.

2 minutes . . .

A spiritual shift had occurred.

3 Different Cultures. 3 Different Worlds.

Walls were being built again, brick by brick.

Moments later, I noticed a quietly seated woman with a lost expression, perhaps awaiting the train. I didn’t see her say anything to the man striding through the downtown crush, holding a large pizza box. Nothing unusual.

Suddenly, he pulled up to a stop before her, opening the box, where 2 slices remained. Handing the woman 1 of the slices, he swiftly continued on his way.

I witnessed this lady accept the offering, and her eyes lit up as she bit into her meal, maybe her 1st today. If words were exchanged, I was too far away and didn’t hear them. Her thanks was in her smile.

2 minutes . . .

It was all the span of time that separated my witnessing the good, the bad, and the ugly of humanity.

I pray that you and I shall be the 2 minutes that restore the hope in somebody’s window seat view.

#2Minutes

#TheGoodTheBadTheUgly

🗣🙋🏾‍♀️👥 Stormy Faye The Christian Runaway

Subscribe to @stormyfaye and @stormy_faye or visit my bio link (https://linktr.ee/stormyfaye).

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#StormyFayeTheChristianRunaway

#FaithForTheJourney

[petite-ursus]

I've been doing these exercise challenges to keep moving. I've come back to these ones a few times since the pandemic began.

It starts super chill. Like, under 2minutes I'd go so far as to say.

By day 28 (hi, we're there) it takes closer to 2hrs when you count the yoga I do for about 15minutes beforehand.

I want. To just. Call it.

On the one hand. Two days left. So. Doable. They don't call it A Challenge because it's Easy.

On the other. It is. So. Long. It's so long. It'll be my whole evening. (it's not. but if I get home at 4pm, then need to run out to get bookmarks for Flamecon... I mean... I'm not finishing until after 8. And I go to sleep at 9:30.)

They've also kind of done what they were meant to do? Keep me moving all month every day. Now, with the con days away... rest... might... be... the move?

I can still do my yoga, and I could do the final two days when I come home?

Most people choose to do one challenge and 6 is maybe an overwhelming number by day 30? (by day 20 honestly.)

And YET. The want. To conquer. It.

But it's actually technically THREE more days for like two of them that have zero rest days. And I just. That IS too many more days. Too close to take off.

This is what today would look like:

) Squats (135)

1x35

4x25

2.) X3:

10 crunches

10 russian twists

10 leg lifts

60 sec plank

3.) 115 second plank

4.)115 reverse flies @8 (HARD. BAD.)

115 @ 15

30x3

25x1

90 renegade rows (HARD. BAD.)

25 @ 5

20 @ 5

15@ 8

10 8

10@ 15 10

2minute superman (2x 1min)

5.) 20 second dead hang (HARD. BAD.)

(It's a rest day for pullups, tomorrow is the final day with 10/5/3 pullups. The set of ten will be ugly. If you see my big toe bouncing me back up into the sky. Mind. Your. Business. If you see me in a neutral grip and not a pronated grip? Mind. Your. Business.)

And it doesn't look as horrific broken down like that. It looks very doable.

But also. Horrific. Idk.

It's the "back" section that gets me. It's a fucking mountain. Just. The sheer. FUCKING. VOLUME.

I'm not really certain what was intended with that challenge. I took the number of reps assigned and did my own thing. Each movement breaks down to about 15minutes with the sets I've broken it out into and the weights. Inserting the individual movements between other challenges helps but it's just so long. I just crouch next to my weights between sets and ponder life choices.

I guess we'll see when I get back from Walgreens.

Here are the blank challenges if my work signal lets it save and go through:

[missymurphy1985]

Surprises

You and Cillian are on your babymoon, 4 weeks before your first baby's due date. You think you've got lots of time.. your baby has other ideas...

Warnings - childbirth, swearing

*******************************************************

Cillian lifted your suitcase out of the car and carried it into your holiday home in Kerry, you were on strict orders not to lift a finger. 36 weeks pregnant with your first child together, you sighed, trying to remind him you were pregnant, not disabled, but he wasn't having any of it.

"Can I get out of the car now please, your baby is using my bladder as a trampoline!" Cillian laughed and opened the car door for you, taking your hand to lead you out carefully.

"Watch your step, there's rocks all over the path y/n..."

"Cill for the love of God, how many times have we been here? I'm fine, now let me go pee before I do it all over this rocky path, yeah?" You loved how caring and attentive he was being, but it was becoming really overbearing after 8 months.

"I'm just worried about you..."

"Baby I'm fine, the baby is fine, and my legs work just fine, thank you.." you kissed him lightly and walked to the toilet on the ground floor. Okay, it was more of a waddle, but close enough. He had good reason to worry. His ex wife had suffered terribly during both her pregnancies, and he was watching you like a hawk, terrified you'd be the same. You hadn't though, you were strong as an ox and took every day in your stride, enjoying every second knowing it was likely to be your only pregnancy now Cillian was 45 and you were 34. This one certainly wasn't planned, but was very much looked forward to.

Once Cillian had unpacked, and you'd eaten dinner, you were lazing on the sofa watching TV. Your legs hanging over his lap, him gently rubbing his fingers over your swollen ankles.

"Have you decided on names yet?" You questioned.

"I can't choose, I thought you were deciding?"

"Okay, how about we each write a list of our favourites, and we'll go through them one by one?" You went to grab a pen before Cillian glared at you and went to get it himself. You chuckled, how dare you move so heavily pregnant!!

Once you'd written your lists, you sat next to each other of the sofa and began to read from them in turn.

"Sofia."

"Nansy."

"Jacob."

"Daniel."

Each one getting a grimace from the other.

"This is hopeless," you threw the pen down in a huff. "We've been doing this for months, how is it so difficult to choose a bloody name??"

"Baby neither of my boys had names til they were born - we chose days later for them. They just came to us. There's no rush here I promise." You smiled thinking of Aran and Malachy, how excited they were for the new baby you were yet to name. You decided not to find out the gender, you wanted the surprise.

"I'm beat, I think I'm heading to bed. Are you joining me?" You lifted yourself off the sofa, with Cillians help.

"No I'm gonna finish this film, it looks good!"

"Cillian, it's Batman. You're in it. Of course it looks good!" He laughed as you waddled your way to the bedroom, telling you he'd be there soon.

On the way up the stairs, you suddenly felt a pain in your lower abdomen. Thinking it was another Braxton Hicks, you paused on the stairs waiting for it to pass.

"Y/n what's wrong?" Cillian was at the bottom of the stairs. He'd heard the stairs creaking, then stop suddenly so came to check on you.

"Just a Braxton Hicks contraction babe, they started in the car on the way over here. Perfectly normal, totally irregular, all is fine, don't worry."

"Why didn't you tell me it was happening??" He started to come up the stairs to you, worry all over his face.

"Because they're nothing to worry about - just a normal part of my body preparing for the real thing, stop panic- ahhhh...." You felt another. Sharper now, all over your belly.

"This ain't normal y/n, come back downstairs. Let's just keep an eye on these for a while, yeah?" He took your hand and led you back to the living room slowly, watching your every move. You rolled your eyes and followed him, knowing arguing was pointless. These were just Braxton Hicks. Weren't they?

Sitting you back on the sofa, Cillian grabbed his phone from his jacket slung over the arm of the chair in the corner. Opening the pregnancy app on his phone he clicked on the Contraction Timer option.

"Now tell me when you feel it, and then when it stops, okay?" He'd barely got the last word out when another hit you, you froze in pain, gripping onto your belly, breathing until it passed.

"Baby? That one really hurt..."

"Okay, let's see about the next few okay? Just breathe. I knew this was a bad idea, coming out so late on..."

"I've still got 4 weeks, there's plenty of time!"

"Yeah I'm not so sure now babe.. let me know when it happens again."

"Fuck... Now... Oh my god...." You found yourself moving forwards, legs open and your hands grabbing the coffee table. "It's gone..." 15 minutes passed with Cillian holding your hand in one and running your back with the other, monitoring each contraction you felt.

"Y/n these are coming every 5 minutes, and lasting 2minutes each time.. I think we need to get to a hospital.."

"No.. these things take time, we don't need to rush. I don't want to get there and be sent home okay? I said in my birth plan I wanted to be home as long as possible..."

"Yeah, birth plans don't always go to plan y/n."

"Cillian don't, just let me be yeah?" Your eyes glistened with tears, fear surging through you. Cillian kissed the top of your head gently. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to snap.. I'm scared Cill! I'm really fucking scared!"

"I know, so am I and I'm not the one doing the work! It'll be okay, okay? I'm here, and we're going to meet our baby soon... Just breathe, yeah? In... Out... Look at me. In... Out..." He was breathing with you trying to calm you down. It was working until another contraction hit and you cried out with the pain. He held you close, rubbing your back.

"How far apart now?" You grimaced, feeling it pass.

"Still 5 minutes. Lasting 2. It's been like that for 30 minutes. What do you want to do babe?"

"Run me a bath?" Cillian sighed. He was desperate to get you to a hospital and be checked over but your glare told him to follow your lead. You knew your body better than him right now.

Cillian carefully lifted your body into the bath while he stroked your hair and whispered in your ear.

"I'm going to teach him how to play football.. he'll have his own little Liverpool kit before he's walking y/n..."

"Oh it's a boy is it? See I can see you learning how to plait hair and play tea parties on a Saturday afternoon!" You giggled.

"It's a boy, I'm telling you. I only make boys, y/n!" Another contraction, but the warm water eased the pain enough for you to focus more on your breathing. Cillian reached a hand in and held your belly, feeling it tighten and wishing nothing more than to take the pain away from you.

"Okay, make the call yeah? Just call our midwife and let her know what's happening." You nodded to Cillian, finally accepting that this indeed was happening. Your baby was on its way.

Cillian kissed your head and dialled the number for the hospital back in Dublin, it suddenly feeling so very far away right now. Ending the call, he turned back to you.

"She's calling the hospital here in Kerry to let them know to expect us - she said with the contractions the way they are there's no rush if you want to stay home a while. But she warned the second they're 3minutes apart and lasting longer, we need to go, okay?" You agreed, before another contraction hit with some urgency. The water not helping the pain of this one. With it, came a popping sensation and a gushing feeling between your legs.

"Cillian, I think my waters have broken!" You were panicking again until Cillian leaned his head against yours breathing with you again to calm you.

"Time to get out of the bath, come on." He lifted you out and wrapped a dressing gown over your shoulders but another contraction hit you before you left the room.

"Fuck.. Cillian, Jesus.... I can't walk..." your breathing becoming louder and more laboured.

"Baby I need you to walk, we've got to get to the car..."

"Okay... Okay... Get the bag.." Cillian led you to the bedroom where the ready made hospital bag lay waiting, he insisted you took it with you just in case. Wrapping the dressing gown over your bump, you grabbed his arms tight as another wave of pain gripped you. He could feel how hard your belly contracted and brought you into his arms, running his hands firmly down your spine as you cried into his chest.

"I don't think I'm going to make it... I can feel the baby moving down... Cillian..." He looked at your panicked face and paled. He recognised that look, he'd seen it twice before. This baby was coming now whether he liked it or not.

Leading you to the bed he lay you against the pillows gently.

"Fuck... Okay I'm calling an ambulance... Wait there y/n."

"The fuck you think I'm gonna go Cillian??! Disneyland?!" You gasped as another wave of pain took you. "Fuck don't leave me! Please!" Cillian had the phone to his ear talking to the ambulance service. Nodding to whoever he was talking to, he opened your legs and went to grab towels from the closet in the corner of the room. Y/n was panting now, screaming with the pain.

"Cillian I can't hold it!! I need to push! Baby please!" Cillian looked over and saw his baby's head starting to crown between y/n's legs. Feeling a sudden surge of adrenaline, he took charge.

"Okay, push.. come on that's it! Keep going you can do this baby.. push!" You beared down with all your strength, the burning feeling taking your breath away. You could hear the operator on the phone giving Cillian instructions.

"The baby's crowning y/n, don't push... Just pant with me through it.. okay??" He panted with you, one ear on the phone, one eye on his baby, one hand in yours as you squeezed the life out of it. You couldn't hold back a scream as your baby's head finally broke through. A moment's respite, before another contraction hit.

Cillian moved to between your legs quickly, the operator constantly giving instructions. He put the phone on loudspeaker.

"Okay... Y/n look at me. Push! Just a few more and he's here, come on baby..." You looked into his eyes, feeling the strength from them and bore down once again. Cillian was between your legs, listening to the operator as they guided him through delivering your baby. Two more hard pushes and the room was suddenly filled with the sound of your baby's loud cry. You flung your head backwards, completely breathless, as you burst into tears at the most beautiful sound you'd ever heard. Within moments, paramedics had arrived, bursting through the open front door downstairs.

Cillian was in shock, in his arms he held his daughter, the most beautiful, perfect little girl he'd ever laid eyes on. He took one of the towels and cleaned her off as best he could, and lifted her onto her mother's chest, tears rolling down his cheeks. Y/n looked down at her baby, still sobbing.

"A girl... Cillian it's a girl!"

"You did it.. you fucking did it y/n, I'm so proud of you... She's perfect..." He kissed your forehead as the paramedics found their way into the room to check you both over.

Giving mum and baby a clean bill of health, they allowed you to remain home with your baby. Even though she was 4 weeks early, everything was completely fine. Once you'd managed to clean off and relax back in bed in the guest room (Cillian promising to clean the main bedroom the next day), your daughter gently suckling at your breast hungrily, you finally took in just what had just happened.

"Can you believe it? Can you believe that just happened Cill?"

"I told you bringing the hospital bag was a good idea, didn't I?" He smirked at you.

"Ashlyn Rose Murphy." You didn't know what made that name come to you but it did.

"Perfect. I love it. And I love you. Both of you.. so, so much.. thank you for bringing me our girl... Thank you.." he kissed your head and took your daughter once she'd finished feeding, holding her close to his chest. "Now you sleep mama. Ashlyn and I are going to finish watching Batman Begins."

You chuckled and lay down in the bed, sleep coming very quickly following that evening's activities.

@queenshelby

[integra1127grimmreaper]

You Just Don’t Know It Yet - chapter ten

Cht 9

Max gets home and immediately goes into the walls to see if Juliet has arrived back.

He sits in his chair for the next hour; waiting on Juliet to come home, when the sound of keys is heard and the apartment door opens.

Thanks for bringing me home Jack, it was good to talk things over. Max hears Juliet talking to her ex and quickly moves places in order to see what was going on.

He sees Jack tipping down to kiss Juliet but she stops him and Max breathe a sigh of relief.

"I told you Jack that I wanted to takes things slowly this time." Juliet reminds him.

"I'm sorry. Let me take you out tomorrow night then." He suggests.

"Ok, but I really wanted to watch the live performances at the fundraiser tonight and was hoping to go tomorrow if they plan on extending it." Juliet comments.

"Then find out if its extended, we can have an early dinner and then head there and watch it." Jack insists.

"Ok! I'll let you know once I find out if it's been extended." She smiles at him.

Max couldn't believe what he was hearing; not only did this Jack person ruin their date tonight, his taking Juliet on one tomorrow now!

A few hours later you return home; physically and emotionally drain from the long day you had.

The fundraiser was a great success and you really enjoyed it, that is up until Juliet and Max arrived at your booth.

The site of how happy and in love Max looked with Juliet destroyed what little bit of healing you had started in moving on.

Exhaustedly you drag your bags out of the elevator and across to your apartment door; hoping that you wouldn't run in to anyone before making it inside.

Just as you placed the bags inside, the sound of Max's apartment door being unlocked could be heard.

Very hastily yet quietly; you shut the door before Max could see you, you just didn't have the energy to have to deal with him and pretend everything was ok.

Footsteps could be heard coming to a stop in front of your door; so, you stood silently staring at it from the inside with the lights off, hoping that Max would think you're asleep and decide not to bother you.

With your heart beating loudly in your ears in panic, what seemed like hours but was only probably 2minutes; the footsteps could be heard walking away from the door.

Breathing out a sigh of relief; you switch the lights on and lock up for the night.

Feeling even more drained, you drag yourself to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

What you didn't know was that Max wasn't that far from your door when you locking it could be heard.

Max stood in the corridor staring at your door confused at what just happened; he was quite sure he heard you coming home, yet when he went to your door everything was silent and dark.

And now when he walked away, he swore he heard the lights being switched on and the door being locked.

He really needed to talk to you and perhaps get some advice from a woman's perspective on what do about Juliet.

You were the only friend he had and yet, Max could swear that it seemed like you were avoiding him for some reason.

Completely confused with everything Max decides to wait for you leave for work tomorrow and ask you for advice then.

Max goes back to his apartment and back to his obsessive world of watching Juliet through the walls till she finally goes to bed.

Deciding to get some rest himself; Max dreams that night of the wonderful life he and Juliet will have together once his fully won her heart over.

The Next Day

You wake up still exhausted from the events of the night before; dragging yourself from bed, you get ready for another busy day ahead.

Breakfast time seems to be dragged as well and once finished you get all the things ready you'll need to perform again tonight for the second round of the fundraiser.

Grabbing your things you head for the door to leave, while locking up you hear someone calling your name out.

Looking up from what you were doing you see that it's Juliet calling out to you.

"Oh, hi there Juliet." You greet her with a forced smile.

"Hi Y/N, I'm glad I caught you before you left." She smiles at you in greeting.

"Yeah, what can I do for you?" You look at her confused.

"Oh, I just wanted to know whether the fundraiser will be on again tonight." She enquires.

"Yeah, it was such a hit last night, they decided to extend it another night." You inform her.

"That's great! I really wanted to see the rest of the show finished that I missed last night." Juliet comments.

"If that's all you needed then, I really have to get going." You politely inform her.

"Oh, yeah sure thing, see you tonight then." She cheerfully bids you farewell.

Great! You groan frustratingly to yourself getting into the elevator. Now you have to be stuck with witnessing another evening of Max and her together.

NXT CHT

[integra1127]

You Just Don’t Know It Yet - chapter ten

*********

Max gets home and immediately goes into the walls to see if Juliet has arrived back.

He sits in his chair for the next hour; waiting on Juliet to come home, when the sound of keys is heard and the apartment door opens.

Thanks for bringing me home Jack, it was good to talk things over. Max hears Juliet talking to her ex and quickly moves places in order to see what was going on.

He sees Jack tipping down to kiss Juliet but she stops him and Max breathe a sigh of relief.

“I told you Jack that I wanted to takes things slowly this time." Juliet reminds him.

“I'm sorry. Let me take you out tomorrow night then.” He suggests.

“Ok, but I really wanted to watch the live performances at the fundraiser tonight and was hoping to go tomorrow if they plan on extending it.” Juliet comments.

“Then find out if its extended, we can have an early dinner and then head there and watch it.” Jack insists.

“Ok! I'll let you know once I find out if it's been extended.” She smiles at him.

Max couldn't believe what he was hearing; not only did this Jack person ruin their date tonight, his taking Juliet on one tomorrow now!

A few hours later you return home; physically and emotionally drain from the long day you had.

The fundraiser was a great success and you really enjoyed it, that is up until Juliet and Max arrived at your booth.

The site of how happy and in love Max looked with Juliet destroyed what little bit of healing you had started in moving on.

Exhaustedly you drag your bags out of the elevator and across to your apartment door; hoping that you wouldn't run in to anyone before making it inside.

Just as you placed the bags inside, the sound of Max's apartment door being unlocked could be heard.

Very hastily yet quietly; you shut the door before Max could see you, you just didn't have the energy to have to deal with him and pretend everything was ok.

Footsteps could be heard coming to a stop in front of your door; so, you stood silently staring at it from the inside with the lights off, hoping that Max would think you're asleep and decide not to bother you.

With your heart beating loudly in your ears in panic, what seemed like hours but was only probably 2minutes; the footsteps could be heard walking away from the door.

Breathing out a sigh of relief; you switch the lights on and lock up for the night.

Feeling even more drained, you drag yourself to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

What you didn't know was that Max wasn't that far from your door when you locking it could be heard.

Max stood in the corridor staring at your door confused at what just happened; he was quite sure he heard you coming home, yet when he went to your door everything was silent and dark.

And now when he walked away, he swore he heard the lights being switched on and the door being locked.

He really needed to talk to you and perhaps get some advice from a woman's perspective on what do about Juliet.

You were the only friend he had and yet, Max could swear that it seemed like you were avoiding him for some reason.

Completely confused with everything Max decides to wait for you leave for work tomorrow and ask you for advice then.

Max goes back to his apartment and back to his obsessive world of watching Juliet through the walls till she finally goes to bed.

Deciding to get some rest himself; Max dreams that night of the wonderful life he and Juliet will have together once his fully won her heart over.

The Next Day

You wake up still exhausted from the events of the night before; dragging yourself from bed, you get ready for another busy day ahead.

Breakfast time seems to be dragged as well and once finished you get all the things ready you'll need to perform again tonight for the second round of the fundraiser.

Grabbing your things you head for the door to leave, while locking up you hear someone calling your name out.

Looking up from what you were doing you see that it's Juliet calling out to you.

“Oh, hi there Juliet.” You greet her with a forced smile.

“Hi Y/N, I'm glad I caught you before you left.” She smiles at you in greeting.

“Yeah, what can I do for you?” You look at her confused.

“Oh, I just wanted to know whether the fundraiser will be on again tonight.” She enquires.

“Yeah, it was such a hit last night, they decided to extend it another night.” You inform her.

“That's great! I really wanted to see the rest of the show finished that I missed last night.” Juliet comments.

“If that's all you needed then, I really have to get going.” You politely inform her.

“Oh, yeah sure thing, see you tonight then.” She cheerfully bids you farewell.

“Great!” You groan frustratedly to yourself getting into the elevator. Now you have to be stuck with witnessing another evening of Max and her together.

NEXT CHT

Tag:

@iluvneganandjamie​

[freigaeist]

also a random question but - favourite ship, if you have one?

ANJA

VMON ; the fashionistas, the earth signs, the teacher and his student, the refreshingly buzz of wild thoughts swirling through the organized mind whAT IS NOT TO LOVE ABOUT VMON!!! i can’t even say what is the most adorable abt those two but i think i’m drawn to how surprisingly similar they are but also how utterly different? whilst they’re both care-taker namjoon is the mental support, he’s incredibly good with words and verbal reassurance whereas taehyung can make anybody feel at ease with just a smile or a hand on the shoulder. whilst the older is gifted with just the right words in any situation the younger has that feeling to him that puts others at ease immediately; like a puppy you pet and feel better though it’s a small creature that needs you to take care of them and guide them you feel oddly accepted, protected, loved and taken care of by a huge grin, lots of spit and scratch marks on your hands and the feeling of their fur underneath your trembling fingers and that is taehyung. namjoon on the other hand is the words of an elder, a friend, a mother that do more than every physical support could do for you at that very moment. namjoon is the voice reading you a bedtime story that lulls you to sleep from very far away while taehyung is the bass soothingly vibrating beneath your head whilst being pressed close to his warm body. i imagine namjoons fingers are always kinda cold and at their best luke warm or hot and sweaty and taehyung seem to be always very warm and dry. namjoon get headaches from worrying too much and nibbling on his inner cheek in thoughts, taehyung has already moved from the foggy slumber of the past, got rid of the muddy finger prints on his white vest and is with one foot already in the newly fallen snow of the future, in his chest already bubbling excitement and aticipitation. vmon are the lecturing but kind words of an older person guiding and the younger reaching out and holding them in their steady embrace for a while knowing that even the wisest and oldest need nothing but a hug and a thankful smile from time to time.

so vmon is like the Ship of the Month but c’mon we all know bea HAS to have sidehoes (Me, A triple-biased Ship Wreck, ) so i’ll go in detail abt the others too fuck it why not:

JinMin ; ah yes sag+libra, they’re the kinds of sweets that look innocent and taste sweet and nice on first bite before some nasty kind of lemon STINGS into your tongue and you reconsider ever eating candy again bc how dare the sugar&sweets industry foaling you like this??? jinmin is this; effing libra park jimin being the cutest but also the most cunning out there, he KNOWS how to act and how to behave to have people liking him - but that doesn’t work when the person he’s trying to lull in acts like an actual 5y/o that just. isn’t having it. nopedy nop nope. this bangtan bomb is still everything to me bc i think their individual relationship comes out wonderfully as well as this vlive - truth be told both are reasons why my life improved 10% overall am not kidding. seokjin is the bigger brother chim never had and jimin the younger jin never had i think their sense of humour is rly similar (name one time when jimin pressured himself NOT to laugh at jins antics!), they’re the Gossip Girls out of these bunch of boyscouts and i love them for that! whenever one of them is whispering into the others ear it looks extra shady if you ask me &I LOVE IT! jimin sometimes looks so extra Done with Jin and he just continues going on his nerves like it’s a water slide &I LVOE IT! i also love how seokjin is older but let’s jimin (and everybody else) just have their ways from time to time, he isn’t too serious when he doesn’t needs to be and i think that puts the others at ease. they’re also Team Touchy though i’d say jimin is more of the physical support than jin bc jimin isn’t one to be all sappy with words but rather shows his concern and that he senses someone’s upset with simple, reassuring gestrues. he doesn’t play around like jin does when he’s bored or is all clingy and is glued to people like taehyung but he got his ways in immediately being close and having a hand on ones shoulder when they’re worried and i actually think jin learned a bit from chim when it comes to this? i mean yes he’s The (so claimed) Mom but he isn’t overly touchy but with the youngsters he is and i find that rly cute! they’re on one wave and the wave’s wild and high enough to happily sail on it :’^) i also read this lovely yet absolute heart-breaking (in the possibly best way) masterpiece and fell in love instantely

others i’m all HEART EYES for

Sope ; who isn’t in love with yoonseok. honestly. the pisces boy and his water bearer. when yoongi’s the deep dark water growing heavy and deadly hoseok is lightning buzzing through the halfway frozen surface, cracking ice and bringing light into the darkness which the water reflects in every direction to light it up. when hobi is all twitching nerves and fluid anxiety (and he’s all nerves to me; even when he’s talking in a quiet/low voice to calm ppl he’s talking incredibly FAST and his voice literally dances up&down he is just. A BUNDLE OF NERVES HE’S SUCH AN AQUARIAN) yoongi is reassuring deepness and calm and when yoongi’s depressed and without any motivation and everything and everyone is choking him to death and he feels like drowing hoseok is his light, oxygen and soul food. they’ve that super healthy relationship where they magically balance their downsides out smh?? that’s how i see them. they’re offering what the other is lacking and by that make a very strong unit. plus yoongi is really straight-forward and honest but he’s not one who’s all lovey dovey and shows how much he cares too obvious BUT WITH HOB HE IS EXACTLY THAT!!! i just rly love them but then again, who doesn’t?

Taejin ; Team Agegap - mhh both have a similar but different feeling to me but it’s all pure. they let jin be the child and are sUPER ANNOYED BY HIM sometimes when he wants to play around and they don’t want to! Seokjin is absolutely in love with taehyung (but then again who isn’t) and they can gET INCREDIBLY TOUCHY (possesive bf Tae at it everywhere, their mama stage??) with each another! plus the one and only thing i ever wrote is taejin lol for jinkook, i love that seokjin has that ability to lower himself. he’s the oldest and jeongguk the youngest yet i think they’re very close in the sense that jin is lowering himself and jeongguk likes to play the know-it-better& mess with his oldest hyung at times so they’re almost equal (plus team muscle pigs yay). these three are a bunch of pre-schoolers i wouldn’t want to take care of (am kidding pls pls let me play around with them!)

Double Wings ; Smol & Tol - namjin were the first that got me into reading bts fanfics (our sometimes tired, sometimes overly enthusiastic but 90% of the time emBARRASSING parents who gave the word Awkward its meaning (not bc they’re awkward with each other hell they’ve one of the best relationships you can have with someone who you’re not similar to in lots of ways), are absolutely, undeniably in el oh ve eh with each other), namjoon as the motivated, strict person that want and wants and wants and seokjin the actual fire sign telling the earth sign to CHILL for a second or two.. they just get me lots. minjoon is just. pure love. one of the least physical members and one of the touchiest, the smallest bundle that has his shell perfectly under control and the tallest that has everything but control over his long, slender limbs, don’t they make a nice meet&greet of opposites i love it!

and last but not least: Taeguk ! my sweet summer children, the youngest and most playful, partners in crime! they have your chest aching and heart longing for a soulmate you don’t know yet but want to have by your side already, they’re a refreshing summer breeze when you’re out in the midst of an autumn storm and they just give me that supper fuzzy, warm and very soft feeling inside where i either want to put them to bed and read them a bed time story of be out with them in the middle of a hot summer night, ripping out trees and yelling until it echoes to the moon and back. taehyung is warmth and steadiness when jeongguk is anxious and unsure, he’s an older brother that doesn’t mind playing the younger for a while and jeongguk is obviously the touchiest with taehyung (no surprise as taehyung IS the touchiest himself lol). i think the most fics i read (it’s not many but if i start one that i love i will read 20k in one go) is taeguk just bc it’s rly popular (which is understandable if you ask me?) and many talented ppl fell in love with them! 

shoutout to 2seok & jikook for being underrated in their brother-like, more quiet charms and sugamon for putting up with one another for such a long time so they practically grew on one another, sugakookie where an Intro Big shows an Intro Smol that it’ll be okay being like this in an extroverted idol world AND vmin & namseok for being the typical same age liners where one of the “twins” constantely states “i’m like 2minutes older rESPECT ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

bangtan is one family and i love all their friendships/dynamics but those are my faves :’^) in the end nobody stans bts as much as taehyung bts anyways, right? THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME WASTE MY TIME I LOVED THIS

[stormyfayethechristianrunaway]

2 Minutes .  .  .

An older lady sat down in front of me, clothed in a pretty dress and a mismatched holey jacket. Very polite and complimentary to those who were seated around her and passing by. Genuine.

Something about her presence made me think that she had lived through some things. She began to pass the time, having a conversation with a man seated at an angle across from her. He nodded a lot, politely, but with either shyness or reserve.

2 Different cultures. 2 Different worlds.

Two men, one with a bicycle, approached and took up quite a spacious berth, in the narrow walkway, blocking the way. Conversation in progress. Looked like an unusual paired duo.

The lady raised her hand to the bike owner and said, “Sir! Sir! Your bike is hitting this man.”

The bike was pressed upon his knee and leg and banging every time the bicyclist moved. The bicyclist slightly moved his bike. No apology or acknowledgement. Rude.

The lady went back to her conversation with the other seated man explaining, “You never know what sets a person off. It could be minor to you, but it could be the straw that breaks a person. You don’t know what a person is going through or what’s in their mind. It didn’t hurt to be conscious of others.”

The seated man smiled a little more openly and nodded. Those seated around began to look inwardly thoughtful and smiled at strangers.

Walls were being broken.

The lady was complimenting the passers-bys. Things like, “Cute jeans with the sparkle”, “pretty bag”, and “nice, clean haircut” to a young man. People were smiling and saying their thank you’s as they hurried on their way.

Suddenly in mid-conversation, the bike owner’s buddy said something unexpected to the lady. Being disrespectful. The lady defended herself to this ill-mannered clout.

Silence and cautious side-eyed glances from all around.

We didn’t know what was about to occur with this unprovoked verbal attack. It wasn’t wild and crazy, but he suddenly became rude to this lady who hadn’t said a word to him.

The smiling faces became tense and wary.

This woman with the beautiful spirit made her excuses to her new friend, gathered her belongings, and moved to another seat.

She came and left with grace and class.

In the midst of it all, she shall be remembered as a beautiful lady.

2 minutes later, the bicyclist and his buddy exited the premises.

Mere yards away, I witnessed their continued conversation from my window seat view. Completely unaffected by their own actions.

I felt my thoughts become downcast. My shoulder blades tightened with newly formed knots.

2 minutes .  .  . 

A spiritual shift had occurred.

3 Different Cultures. 3 Different Worlds.

Walls were being built again, brick by brick.

Moments later, I noticed a quietly seated woman, with a lost expression, perhaps awaiting the train. I didn’t see her say anything to the man striding through the  downtown crush, holding a large pizza box. Nothing unusual.

Suddenly, he pulled up to a stop before her, opening the box, where 2 slices remained. Handing the woman 1 of the slices, he swiftly continued on his way. I witnessed this lady accept the offering, and her eyes lit up, as she bit into her meal, maybe her 1st today. If words were exchanged, I was too far away and didn’t hear them. Her thanks was in her smile.

2 minutes .  .  .

It was all the span of time that separated my witnessing the good, the bad, and the ugly of humanity.

I pray that you and I shall be the 2 minutes that restore the hope in somebody’s window seat view.

#2Minutes

#TheGoodTheBadTheUgly

Stormy Faye The Christian Runaway

#FaithForTheJourney

@stormy_faye    StormyFaye.com

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#October28th2020

[heymeowmao]

#everyone is calling it #ping yao’s past #but idk #does it explain how liu sang #got his amazing hearing or something? #i am SO curious - @xcziel 

I think calling it “Ping Yao’s Past” would be… incorrect…bc.. Ping Yao is not a person…>.> and you could better interpret it through the demon-hunting route, because that is in fact what this ridiculous 30ep, 2minute duration show was about. (more or less) Let’s call it “Past Events of Demon-Hunting.” This side story explains nothing about the characters we know. LOL.

Moral of this story: There is no such things spells or spiritual power. But there does exist monsters, ghosts, and demons: Humans.

Liu Sang’s ancestor was a “taoist priest”/cultivator named Liu Qianmo who comes across Wang Meng’s ancestor- a monk called Nan Meng Deng Hai. The monk’s temple was burned down, and the Master sent him down the mountain with the statue of a Buddha. Qianmo senses a demonic presence on NMDH, suspects the Master was possessed by this demon so they go back to the temple to try and finish the demon off. The demon ends up running, and they give chase. They come across a- I dunno, a rest stop?- and see that there’s a girl there. Suspecting the demon had captured this girl NMDH goes to save her- as Qianmo fights the demon. Battle won for now, the two and their new ward run to safety. Qianmo finds this girl very familiar- says she has the face of someone he once knew. The girl, for her part, is “dead” already because it’s been centuries since she was captured- she’s now just a wandering soul. 

/even more in the past/ It goes into Qianmo’s past a little bit- on his way back home he comes across a mysterious pair of women (cultivators?). They drop a coin, and he picks it up for them. The old woman says he should keep it, and the younger ties it to his belt. When Qianmo gets home, he finds his family has been murdered. This seems like just an illusion bc after this the coin returns to the old woman’s hands- like no time has passed since it was tied to his belt. When Qianmo runs home he finds that 6 days have already passed and his family is long-dead. Out for revenge for his family, he finds the pair of women again- the old woman tells him about the demon called Wu Tong Shen and gives him a book on cultivation, saying that the demon must be killed.

/back to the “present”/ [Oh shit, I prob shouldn’t be giving you a play-by-play. How to make this shorter….] Ok, so. They have this girl who has long since been dead, who has the face of someone Qianmo used to know. Qianmo really has to make this girl uh- pass on, but he can’t bear to do the deed himself. Turns out he doesn’t need to because this girl IS the demon they were looking for. She runs away, so the duo return to the temple and fall straight into the demon’s trap! :) They get away thanks to some “spiritual spells” and the Buddha statue (a “spiritual artifact”) and later on find a little rock statue they believe to be Wu Tong Shen’s “real body”. Qianmo blows it up with a talisman. Believing revenge for his family fulfilled and demon exterminated, Qianmo returns to his normal life exterminating demons and ghosts in the nearby village, saying if ever NMDH need find him, he will be there.

NMDH returns to his small temple with the Buddha statue his Master gave him. It is revealed that the statue is not of Buddha, but is actually a piece of golden armor that the Master had NMDH disguise. Thinking through this, NMDH wonders why- when being attacked by the demon, the “Buddha statue” could actually protect and even hurt the demon, when it is actually not an artifact at all, but just a piece of golden armor. He comes to the conclusion that someone was trying to trick Liu Qianmo, and goes around to the places they were attacked to find evidence of this theory. Since there was no demon in the first place- then that means whoever killed Qianmo’s family is still out there. NMDH wonders if he should tell Qianmo- but doesn’t on account that he believes Qianmo has finally found peace in the fact that he has avenged his family. 

/three years later…/ Qianmo’s granted a marriage with the Sorceress’s disciple by royal decree. Fun. NMDH comes to visit- and hints at the truth of everything. Says Qianmo has been tricked- his family and NMDH’s Master killed- all for the sake of adding layers of validity to the “monsters are real” trick. The liars (old woman and the girl) went through all this trouble to fabricate “cultivating” and “monsters”- to make it believable- so that they could win favor with the Royals. Qianmo refuses to believe him, and NMDH tells Qianmo that he is becoming just like those liars. NMDH reasons it all out for Qianmo, and tells him that since the Sorceress is being promoted to State Minister, Qianmo is not going to live for much longer (bc he’s of no use to her now). NMDH gives the armor to Qianmo. On their wedding night: the girl exposes everything, says she does have feelings for Qianmo, but he knows too much and now he has to die. TOO BAD FOR HER, HE’S WEARING GOLDEN ARMOR!!!! (somehow he kills everyone. i don’t get how this happened.) Qianmo and NMDH meet up again and go on an adventure together. The end.

Liu Chang posted some pics from that spin-off about Liu Sang and Wang Meng’s ancestors today.

[instantwhispersmiracle-blog]

If I was President - segment 1

SO, today is June 25th, 2018....... Michael Jackson 9th anniversary of living forever, and if my man wanna be buried in a ancient Egyptian coffin he very well can.. interviewie... you know who you are.  SO, I saw Sarah fuck sanders... was going to do a briefing.. and I waiting to align my shit with her words, and it stalled for time.... and I was preparing the soul of music change from MJ tracks to sing in the background, and my American government perspective BOOK.. and they always have a delay, probably cause of the 1-2minutes I registered they about to go live.. well.. I waited I was ready this time, I was in the mood... and next thing I know they stalled it all the way to a separate youtube channel... and I missed it, this eyebrow crawling away from each other betch. so, I started thinking.. if I was president and all these open ended pockets of elaboration ideas came into my mind.  1. Would be visit each third world country and gather their needs from them the people and the leader are telling me.. and then agree on the main three. and involve the United Nations and work together to make one of each their needs met, and work from there.  2. In this book, Perspectives on American Government - Edited by Cal Jillson AND David Brian Robertson.  I came across the term Egalitarian which means, a law thinking, law forming, law relating, mentality derived from everyone IS FUCKING EQUAL. and what happen to this party, this group, this ideal... died out in 2012.... funny enough along the times that republicans slowly started advancing their undercover money schemes and also most likely messing with obamas reign.. its amazing he had another term. ANY fucking time, D.T shitface talks about Obama in the media today it is a underlying flip showing what he did in secret in the first place, and he is getting it out in the media in a way that makes him look like he gave a solution or found a problem but it was there all the fucking time, in preparation.........like I don't underestimate you, You fucking piece of shitface reptilian mutha-fucking snake shedding money layers golf jacking off pansy ass-wipe but yet broke ass bitch.  3. Ya, so.....It died out in 2012... I'm sure a lot of people never heard of this term, well if you read this far, you definitely have.

[river-wild2]

Movement Training Program

This is my Movement training program that I have been updating each week through word document on a table. - Movement Training Program WEEK 1 As it’s been my first week on experimenting with different types of movement methodologies at home, I decided to start off with simple movement and not to complex: I first stretched, from the bottom up, ankles, carves, thighs, I do this rotation near the ribs, then stretch to the left then right, rotate the shoulders, for me my neck and shoulder area is very tense and I get a lot of headaches which I think has something to do with the tightness around that area so I really focussed on stretching out the neck and releasing tension and also with the shoulder rolls, I start off gently, as I don’t want to pull anything as the neck is very delicate. Now that I warmed up my muscle’s I always think it’s good to sweat a little, I use to exercise every day, but since this course has started I have put on so much weight as there is hardly time for hard core workout’s so this MTP I think is a really good idea as it’s part of the criteria you make time in your day. So I start off with 15 star jumps, as i haven’t exercised in a while I can already feel that I’m short of breath. The reason I think it’s relevant to do cardio work is of course it’s about keeping fit as a person but as an actor stamina is vital, performing on stage is exhausting as it is, you never know what you may have to do in a scene on stage which might require strong stamina, you don’t want to be half way through a speech and be out of breath. I then move on to do a 20 second plank which I know doesn’t sound long but I knew I would struggle with the plank, the plank exercise is quite essential as actors because it’s all about strengthening the core which all actors need when performing on stage, but I noticed every time I do the plank I hold my breath which I know is wrong, you must always breath, so I done the plank again for 15 seconds and tried to breathe through it which I found really difficult! Lastly I then 30 donkey kicks on each leg. The reason why I chose to do a leg focussed exercise is because I think having strong sturdy legs as a performer is key, most injuries in performers, are ankles, carves and around the leg area and as a performer it’s our legs that give us our presence on stage and as we know as a performer we could be asked to do anything on stage so I think it’s so important to strengthen and build muscle in the leg area. To finish off I rest in child’s pose and regulate back to my natural breathing. I proceeded on with these exercises from Monday to Saturday. I noticed throughout this week I had this reoccurring pattern that throughout my exercise I would hold my breath but halfway through I would realise I was doing it, so for the other half of the exercise breathing was my main focus. As my body hadn’t worked like this in a long time each day my muscles would ache so I’d take a hot/warm bath to relax my muscles and it really helped. WEEK 2 This week I thought I would experiment more with movement/exercise through dance, especially now our dance/movement classes with Ellen are becoming more intense but I really enjoy this type of exercise because I found even though it’s fun and I’m enjoying myself I noticed I always sweat the most during this type of exercise so I decided this week at home to put on some music and do a movement exercise type of dance for 20 minutes. I would first warm up exactly how I did last week, stretch all the muscles, then I would go into the box step dance we learnt from Caroline in physical theatre which not only helps with breaking out a sweat but also improves your coordination, when Caroline first taught me this step I was all over the place now I can do it without thinking, I gradually speed it up. Next I went on to Ellen’s quick ‘step swirl step’ movement which I really enjoy doing, this movement can be done to any song, I then gradually picked up the pace, which by this point I was out of breath but I remembered to breathe throughout the movement. Lastly I’d put on an RnB song or a song I could really move my hips to and free styled to the music, for me this is where I felt i really put the work in and I sweated the most. Throughout the week I noticed my body started to tolerate the movement’s for longer. I think my weakness throughout this week was finding the motivation to get up and actually start and I know two sessions the one of the Wednesday and Friday I cut short and I didn’t put the amount of energy that needed I think it’s because I was quite tired from college and it’s been getting hot my motivation was weak. WEEK 3 PILATES As we are developing in our Pilates class at college I decided to try Pilates at home for this week as part of my Movement training program. I’ve really grown to enjoy Pilates and I think is very different to the other movement exercises but also it’s not what I initially expected. Pilates is much more calming and relaxed then I thought, which isn’t a bad thing for me it’s better than my expectation of Pilates. All the Pilates movement’s I experimented with this week was all from Jess’s Pilates lesson. I started off with laying on the floor with my hands on my pelvis while gently rocking it back and forth and as the same rhythm of the movement I would inhale and exhale so as my pelvis would move towards the ceiling I would inhale as it would move away I would exhale. I would then have my hands straight up in the air as I would exhale I would move it up above my head and as I did this I noticed I heard/felt little click in my shoulder which was really satisfying I then done the same thing but in sync with my leg, as you bring the leg and arm up together you can feel this gentle pulling in each side of your stomach. Lastly I went on to all fours and slightly took my left arm and right leg whilst balancing on the right arm and left leg then swapped around. first time doing this exercise I did it wrong in Jess’s class I was lifting up the same leg and arm which made it impossible to balance and I was confused as to why I couldn’t balance, which made me realise I need to work on my coordination. Pilates is not for everyone but I really I enjoy it, one of my biggest weaknesses is breathing through movement and Pilates really reminds me to breathe, it also gives me a relaxed calming sensation which I feel helps focusses my mind all whilst stretching your muscles and working on your coordination skills. WEEK 4 YOGA This week I decided to try out yoga at home, I’ve never been a hundred percent sure on how I feel about yoga, I’ve tried it a few times and each time I’ve felt different. As there is so many types of Yoga’s out there I think I know what ones I prefer which is depending on what you’re looking to get out of it. We had a Yoga teacher Iva come in and teach us this week, This yoga lesson I felt was more advanced then to what I have tried before, I am more familiar with the calming type of yoga, the gentle poses.(Hatha) Eva said she was teaching basic Yoga (Vinyasa) but for me we were constantly moving and holding poses that were quite challenging, I’m glad I had the opportunity to experience it but I think it reinforced my preferences of different types of Yoga, I don’t think I enjoyed it, especially downward dog, I hate that position, I find it hurts my wrists and I don’t find it relaxing at all, I couldn’t bring myself to fully commit and enjoy the experience. This week at home I decided to experiment with a more calming gentle yoga like Sivananda. This is more simple breathing and a focussing meditation yoga, I started off just calmly breathing then I would position myself in warrior pose and hold then switch directions and hold. I then would go into downward dog (hated it) but I pushed myself to attempt to hold it for a short time. Lastly I would breathe into child’s pose, this position is stretching your muscles while resting although spending too much time in this position can begin to hurt my knees. Each day I felt myself become more invested and committed into the yoga movement. I found that Yoga helps me more on the mental side more than the physical, I feel I enjoyed Pilates more and think I benefited from Pilates on the breathing and physical side, where as Yoga helped me focus and helped clear my mind. WEEK 5 Naffi’S Workout/warm up Part of our keep fit movement with Ellen is we each create our own work out and lead it before each class. This week we had Naffi’s workout and I really enjoyed it but also I think it was just the right amount of exercise. So I decided part of my movement training program for this week was going to be Naffi’s warm up. First off I started with my stretching that I do before anything, I then jogged around the room for 2minutes and I was already feeling out of breath, I then done her dance moves which is simple ‘step step side clap’ repeated that to the music, for me I love dancing within exercise as it breaks it up to trick your mind your having a break but your still active at the same time and of course it brings an element of fun into it. Next it squat time! Again this exercise works on strengthening your legs which is key for us performance, for me I like doing squats as it’s not so difficult to do but it still really works your muscles. Then we went into star jumps which is cardio making us sweat and working on our stamina at the same time. For me I did this each day for 15 minutes and the time would fly by and I noticed I really slept well this week from those workouts and felt really tired at night. WEEK 6 Alexander Technique The week before the show I decided I want to try out a few simple alexander techniques, I don’t know much about this movement technique but we had one or two lessons with Tim as an introduction to Alexander technique and I really enjoyed it. The steps to how I proceeded on with this technique during the week, I would first lay down on the ground with my knees up my arms relaxed down, palms facing upwards and a small cushion under my head to support the neck, make sure everything is relaxed and soft, I would then focus on my breathing, breathe right down into the diaphragm slowly in through the nose out through the mouth and just let any thoughts float away and I would rest there for a few minutes. I’d then sit on a chair and recognise how I would stand up and sit down onto and from the chair, I noticed the way I normally stand up it takes a lot of effort, I then watched a you tube video on Alexander technique on sitting and standing up from a chair, it’s about keeping the neck relaxed and keeping the head forward, letting your knees lead whilst keeping strong sturdy back, I practiced this a couple of times and noticed where I was going wrong id always crunch my head back while going to stand up, but actually it’s about keeping your chin down and I practiced sitting on a chair without slouching and standing up and sitting down from a chair, I really felt a difference in my back, there was an aching feeling for the first 2 to 3 day’s but then the ache started to wear off i felt I was aware when slipping back into my old habits and would try to correct them. For me I purposely left the Alexander technique movement to the week before the show more for the psychological side of things rather the physical, I think the week before the show is so important to have a clear focussed mind set and me Alexander technique is quite simple but really effective.

[desulis]

10/8/2016 “So what’s the problem?” he said. I looked at his hand, how he held a pen between his fingers. His fingernails are clean, properly cut, and clean. His finger looks so moisture, I wonder if he use hand lotion or hand soap with a scent. I looked at my fingers, fatless, only bones and skin. But not too bad as his, mine are better. Then I remember how was people who starred at my hand said that it was so beautiful and perfectly match with every ring and other jewerly will suit on them. “I am sad.” “Why’s that?” “I’m not sure why, that’s why I need your help.” “Yes..yes.. I will help. I can if you can tell me, what is it?” “What’s what?” “About what you said 2minutes ago.” “I am sad?” He just looked at me with silence. His eyes were not fix on me, but I know he observed. I looked away, and my eyes catched a photograph at his desk. I can’t see clearly, maybe a picture of his wife or family. I know people who put the photograph of their family member at their desk or on the wall in their office. What for? So they will working courageously because their family or their children watch them and try to tell they need to feed them and make a proud? I don’t know. That’s only my presume but maybe is. “I am sad, doctor. Mostly. All of the time. With or without reason. When the moment I was sad I had a reason, when had not, I remember the past events that always made me sad.” He said nothing as he was waiting me to continue the next words. He didn’t satisfied with my short reason, and I wasn’t there to be interrogated so I was quite too. He blinked and inhaled. Cold war. “What past event?” I looked away to the window, with the baby blue curtain. I saw the sky, it was blue, same as the curtain, suddenly I found some nice aesthetic there and want to take a picture. “Do you wanna tell me about that later?” I looked at him now. It was a short journey I had to see a baby blue curtain and soft sky. “I don’t feel if I am ready to tell you now, doc.” He didn’t say anything but looked at his note and was write something there. What he was write about me? I wonder that it could be like: Low interest, apathy, introvert. Need some medicine with high dose and sleep tablet because she looked so pathetic with that dark circle around her eyes and look so tired..

Letter for Charlie Chbosky6