#you know what? he's pretty much a YA Main Love Interest. yeah. he's got that Sadness�� but make it hot vibe. yeah.

[hearts4court]

Dating Remus Lupin would include:

A/N: these were short. but i love them, should i do what it would be like, married to Remus? i feel like much wouldn’t change other then last names, age, and the sex UGHH ☺️🤭💕

Smut ahead! minors DNI!! 🤺🤺

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SFW:

Remus won’t admit it, but he LOVES those nicknames you give him. Rem, Remmy, etc. Only his friends can call him Mooney, it sounds weird to him when you do.

he loves you so much it actually hurts. Would do anything for you tbh.

He reads to you, you’ll lay on his chest, your arms wrapped around his waist, your legs tangled with each others, whispering the words to you.

He also likes when you read to him, he just likes your voice, likes listening to you talk about things you like.

loves when you get excited about stuff, whether it’s about your interests or something cool you learned.

Gets mad when ppl cut you off while your talking, or when ppl don’t listen to you.

“and then it got really interesting cause the main character went into this cave and-“ you said, excited to talk about your new book that you’ve been reading, when all of a sudden, someone cut you off causing your smile to fade and for you to drop your head.

“anyways.. like i was saying-“ they started to say before- “shut the fuck up. Don’t cut her off, mate.” Remus scoffed before he turned back to you, grabbing your hand and kissing your temple. “and what happened after the MC went into the cave, love?” he asked making you smile.

When your on your period, he definitely shares his chocolate with you(and only you) he cuddles with you and doesn’t leave your side.

During full moons, he kinda avoids around this time because he’s moody and doesn’t wanna hurt you.

After he gets back from a full moon however, he lets you take care of him because poor baby is so vulnerable and tired:(

“There ya go.. Relax rem, everything’s gonna be okay..” you coo, as you wipe the dried blood from his back, making him hiss at the warm water hitting his wounds.

“You’re so good to me, dove.” he whispered making you smile, “don’t know what i’d do without ya, you’re my guardian angel.” he praised making you blush and smile widely, kissing his lips softly.

:((

NSFW:

Remember how i said he’s moody during the full moon? Well that goes with being horny too 🤭🤭

When y’all have sex, it’s usually slow and passionate. But during the full moon, it’s fast and rough, not like you mind anyways.

“Oh.. Remmy!” you cry as he thrusted fast and rough into you. “shh, it’s alright dove..you can take one more f’me, yeah? My pretty girl can handle it.” he praised as he rammed into you making you moan out.

“My pretty girl- oh, my sweet, sweet girl.” he praised, gripping onto your hips, leaving his finger prints indented into your flesh.

He’d def feel bad about “hurting you” after the full moon ends. So he’d make it up too you. :)

his tongue over lapping at your cunt had you arching your back and whining.”such a pretty cunt, dove.. pretty, just like you.”He said, gripping onto your thighs to keep you down.

If he’s feeling up to his sometimes, he’ll let Sirius get a taste, if your comfortable with it of course. He wants to show you off, especially when it comes to showing people what he gets to fuck.

Such a soft!dom but as his moments where he’s a hard!dom

remember how i said he likes to read to you? he loves to read book lines into your ear while he fucks you from behind 🦋🦋

Don’t copy, translate or repost any of my work w/o my permission.

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

RWS Send-Offs

I actually started a list long ago ranking how well done each character's final "send-off" was, in ascending order. Rock bottom looked like this:

Oliver (Christopher damn near forgot that boy existed, the whole way through 😶 I think his name is mentioned twice. Maybe.)

Ivo Hugh (gets no lines)

Rheneas (Christopher has never once let him do or say anything interesting, though in his defense his old man never let Rheneas do that either 💀)

Duck (Christopher has never once let him do or say anything interesting, even though he historically HAS)

Douglas (Why? Just why???? 😭)

Apart from these examples, both Awdrys put some real thought into "send-offs" for their beloved characters — let's just establish that out the gate. Awdry pere loved a good callback, and he made sure to lay down plenty of them along the way, once he started getting into his "am I finally going to retire these stupid books?" phase (which began alarmingly early in the series...)

Christopher Awdry put in even more effort — indeed, sometimes he "did too much." Now, I think his efforts get obscured because he had simply run out of gas by the final book in the series (Thomas and His Friends), a lot of which is simply... ass. Still, even there, we can clearly see that he tried to do this as well as he could with Gordon. He tried hard, and the main reason that (for me) it doesn't work is an old, old, never-addressed Awdryesque sin re: Gordon.

However, one book earlier, while he was focusing on the branch lines, Awdry fils pretty much nailed it. God I wish he'd put this energy into more characters, but you know what. Rather than moan, I'm gonna appreciate what we've got. The two best send-offs in the series:

Edward

All right, none of these character send-offs are perfect … but Edward fuckin’ ate. First — he gets a lore drop?? Hot damn. I know all the characters got official backstory in The Island of Sodor but out here, in the real world, that one with books that normal people (cough — kids) read, Edward gets promoted to the rather exclusive club of characters whose pre-Sodor origins are actually acknowledged in-series. (For the hardcore fans, his Furness origins also got upgraded from “maybe?? 🤷” in IoS to a “wait, no, definitely yeah” here.) 

In “Avalanche” he gets to co-star and the story deliberately echoes a lot of his classic canon moments, in fact that could be a whole separate essay. The two big ones are that the story opens with a callback to “Edward’s Day Out.” Of course, in proper “series finale” fashion (albeit this isn’t the series finale, but shut up, it’s Edward’s finale anyway), instead of sitting idle in the shed and sad with the increasing anxiety that he’ll never be “chosen” to work again, here he’s sitting idle at the Works and there’s no uncertainty about his future, he’s being readied for the summer tourist traffic, it’s just that it’s been a week and he’s sooooo bored. Which? subtextually? such a nice problem to have compared to where we found him when he made his series debut; ya love to see it. 

The second major callback is to, like, every time in this series where Edward encourages and listens attentively to some poor sod who has/will barely escaped a fate of obsolescence and abandonment. Before we echoed how Edward’s life has changed over the course of the series; now we’re nodding to how Edward hasn’t changed. We’re gonna play this old tune, one more time. 

And? btw? It’s so well-done? Like normally when Christopher Awdry is obviously retreading something his father did he does not benefit by the comparison. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think we finally found something where Christopher can outwrite the old man. As sweet as those Wilbert scenes are (Edward listening to Thomas, to Trevor, to Skarloey, to Stepney, I’m pretty sure I’ve forgotten one or two), Edward becomes more of a device in those than a living, breathing character; in the Wilbert versions of this scene Edward can generally be replaced by an AI-dialogue generator and a large cardboard cutout (if the cutoff shows him smiling in a vaguely ‘encouraging’ way, of course). He’s performing the same function here with Victoria, but the dialogue is… good? It feels like a genuine, two-way, gently humorous interaction, even though Victoria is doing the bulk of the talking? Edward is a living, breathing, 3-D character here? I’m not sure his personality has ever been drawn more clearly than in these small details? He’s youthful, he’s earnest, he’s curious, and goddamn if this boy doesn’t love working on the Fat Controller’s railway. It’s all here, perhaps in the clearest colours it’s ever been. 

And so, yeah, what more can you ask in a character send-off? The only weakness here (compared to a couple of the others) is that there’s nothing grand (ultimately, this is a boring book) and nothing’s new in Edward-land… but, well, that feels all right for this character, in a way that wouldn’t be acceptable with a lot of others (notably Gordon 💀). Besides, he did get to make a new friend and reconnect with his roots, so that’s a small change of a sort. 

Ultimately, though, Edward’s thriving, and he’s still eager to help see to it that others are thriving too. Oh, you wish in his final appearance we coulda seen that he’s still happily married? Christopher’s got ya fam, in the last story Edward takes Victoria to Knapford… but makes a little stop along the way to introduce her to BoCo ;) 

Toby — and Henrietta

Now, you may think Toby got kinda robbed. In his final appearance, it appears, for like 2 pages, that he’s gonna get the spotlight. The entire book’s premise is that he needs a coach, yeah? And titularly, Thomas has gotta be there, we get it, but this’ll be a Toby book, right? 

And then it’s sooooo not (‘and then it’s Edward with the steel chair!!!1’), and yeah, that kinda sucks. But you know what? Lack of screentime aside, Toby and Henrietta also get a very thoughtful send-off — starting with the fact that it’s very much Toby and Henrietta (and Elsie!), buffer to buffer. Now, Toby has actually done pretty well in the Christopher portion — way more lore drop than Edward ever gets, in fact, plus one of the few Heroic Determination stories that Christopher is ever gonna give us. But Henrietta hasn’t been nearly as centered — and how could Toby’s final appearance ever be satisfying unless it’s side by side with her? It couldn’t. And so, it isn’t. 

And the book’s set-up is the most heartwarming callback in this entire list: In their debut, we saw Toby and Henrietta, faithfully trundling along every day with Toby’s trucks, bereft of passengers — they’ve lost them all to the busses — when they get one family on their platform, it’s a gold-star day on their dying line and they rejoice when the family returns every day for the week of their holiday. Then they leave, and the line is deader than ever… and then the line closes down… :(((… and they’re left alone to face the Horrors… :((((((((

And now! Here we go! As the curtain rises on their final RWS storyline… Henrietta is soooo packed. Oh nnoooo, you guys! She’s overloaded! They’re suffering from a surplus of passengers! It’s at the point where they need to expand the family train.

I don’t know about you, but I’m fuckin’ cheering! Perfect bookend!

WE 👏 LOVE 👏 TO 👏 SEE 👏 IT 👏

This loses some points on the finale mainly because it’s hard to feel perfectly satisfied with the solution — it could be acceptable that Thomas “solves” the problem (is in the right place at the right time) rather than Toby — but the structure of the book, where we get to see Thomas and Edward bond with Victoria but not Toby, does tend to strike readers as a bit of a headscratcher. We’re told at the end that she’s a great addition to the train, and frankly I believe it (Toby has managed to befriend, and in Henrietta’s case at least live in peace with, Mavis and Daisy… in comparison, they’ll have no problem with one sweet, shyly-eager old coach whose long experience with their worst nightmare is something that they can both sympathize with and, to a small but definite extent, relate to is gonna be such an easy sell by comparison)... but it would be nice to have it shown. 

Also some people are just really unhappy with the new addition to Toby’s train, largely for aesthetic reasons. Personally I don’t object — I like mismatched consists — but I will note for the record that this is a loud and sizable portion of public opinion. 

I will co-sign the objection that the very end of this book, the Fat Controller’s speech and specifically the “Toby’s Vintage Train” thing, does feel both… patronising and pat? Maybe? Probably. Dunno. The vibes are kinda off. 

But it earns back a lot of those lost points for ensuring that we have a grown-up Stephen Hatt “in frame,” as it were, for Toby and Henrietta’s final appearance. Little Stevie. All grown up. The current Fat Controller. HELL YES. Yes, the ending feels like it misses just. a. bit. — but purely in execution. It does at least have all the elements it needs (an old friend! a new friend! job security and a loving community!) for me to say farewell to Toby and Henrietta (and Elsie, too) with a full but content heart.

--

It's kind of like @traintrainingmontage was saying earlier today, Christopher is really aware of the weight of time on these characters. He doesn't just make sure to show them happy in a pat way, he really grasps all the history behind each of their appearances and he's invested in showing that everyone is truly secure and loved.

[absolutebl]

Hi! apologies if you've answered this before, but can you recommend some bls that deal with homophobia, be it internalised or external? or more generally, bls that are not set in the bl bubble where gayness is 100% accepted?

Thank you very much <3

Ooo, sure thing!

BL's Not Set in The Bubble

BLs that deal with homophobia (internal or external) and rough coming out sequences

Began Beginning from Myanmar is all about this. It's not a BL I would necessarily recommend but it is interesting for many reasons. Both leads are dealing with massive internalize homophobia, among other issues.

Similarly: Like in the Movies and Tie the Not from the Philippines.

And Goodbye Mother and Nation's Brother from Vietnam.

From Thailand

To Sir, With Love - witnessing his family's massive homophobia that results in major tragedy as a child is what drives our main character's whole personality and self hatred. Massive trigger warning.

Until We Meet Again - the pair in the past, of course, it's the driving trauma of the relationship reincarnated. Massive trigger warning.

I Feel You Linger In the Air - fear of being caught is a through line in this drama.

More modern set stuff:

City of Stars deals with having to leave the closet as a super star. So does Close Friend Season 2 a little. The OhmFluke pair also deals with coming out to parents. Love Stage!! (Thailands version) contains one couple that chooses to remain closeted for the good of a career and another that risks it.

Moonlight Chicken - mostly about self hatred and difficulty in being out, to the point where his young nephew challenges him on it and provides a foil.

Also, ya know, TharnType and Why R U. Both have self hated and challenging coming outs because of trauma and daddy issues.

Dark Blue Kiss - Kao is terrified of being outed and it's used to blackmail him.

Similarly although he is out of Ae, Pete is being abused and blackmailed because he is gay in Love By Chance. Also Ae doesn't manage to come out... yet.

I Told Sunset About You - of course.

My Gear and Your Gown final episodes contain homophobic (or are they?) parents.

Second Chance heavily implies that there is something going on with Paper's inability to accept Fah.

Similarly Gene accepting Sib in Lovely Writer.

I'm pretty sure there's a ton of homophobia at the back end of My Tee, but honestly it's been years sicne I watched that mess.

Charming little pulp 21 Day Theory deals with quite a bti of this, but our main character has a lovely gay uncle to guide the way.

"Punch the homophobe" my favorite trope of all time, happens in Oxygen. But otherwise they neatly circumvent the patriarchs objection by defacto adopting a child to inherit.

TonhonChonlatee is all about one characters inability to acept his own queerness as encouraged by his homophobic family and various other evil characters.

My Only 12% actively tackles and calls out cultural homophobia and damaging misrepresentations.

"Why does everyone think that both of them are strange? If it's not wrong, why does everyone hurt?"

The show he's talking about is Thailand's first proto-BL, love of Siam and it is about an inability to come out.

From Japan

Life: Love on the Line - it's parental disgust and personal self hatred and paranoia that breaks them up (they get back together but he as to get over it)

Similarly His - is a kind of reunion romance after self-homophobia drove one half of the pair to marry someone else.

Actually the original series with the same characters, His the series, also deals with self acceptance around gayness, and it's subtle (Japan) but it's pretty clear one of them was kicked out of/ or left his previous school because he got outed. (Light on Me references a similar situation, but it's ultra subtle.)

If It's With You also kinda falls into this category. Not sure these can be called "dealing with" it tho, more side stepping and alluding to it.

Tokyo in April is - yeah it's kinda the whole thing from one half of this pair

What Did You Eat Yesterday also has a coming out to the parents thread throughout, and a coming out at work thing, but it's not really the point of the show.

From Korea

Most Korean BL are gonna be out. The specialize in the bubble. Although a case could be made for Love For Love's Sake and Love Class. And, see comment, Jazz for Two.

One noted exception is Just Friends which is a short piece about coming out to mom while on leave from the military. This is one of Korea's earliest BL pieces and not strictly BL, but it's fascinating in that neither theme (military nor coming out) would reall be reused again.

From Taiwan

My Tooth Your Love - has a kinda different take and we aren't sure, as viewers whether it's because he's gay or because he's not doing what the Patriarch wishes. But trigger warning for [physical abuse.

DNA Says Love You deals with this and other forms of queerphobia during the later half. Slow start but I do love this show.

Faded is a propaganda piece (pro marriage equality) which is all about coming out to a parent.

In H4CTY Xing Si (of the side couple) is having a hard time coming out but that's complied by the fact that he's fucking his stepbrother, it's a mess, bit I enjoy them - v problematic couple tho.

Papa & Daddy actually has a coming out sequence (GASP!) where the parents don't take it well as does Love is Science? (sides) - but the later is mostly because disaster bi is also baby daddy.

Red Balloon, of course, and it's sibling movie Your Name Engraved Herein are kinda all about self loathing and suffering because of gayness and lack of acceptance.

Unknown is certainly tackling some of this.

In which I talk about some of my favorite coming out sequences:

He's Coming to Me has my favorite series of coming out sequences to both friends and mother.

A few more that I really don't like (Promise) and probably Together With Me should be here, but I willfully can't remember them.

(source)

[jujumin-translates]

[A3!] ★ Main Story | Act 14 - DREAM CATCHER | Episode 7 - Medium-Hot Review

Yuki: The clean copy is done.

Hato: Thank you. I appreciate the help. Well then, you’re free to go for today.

Yuki: Good work.

Koro: Woof, woof!

Yuki: You went for a walk just a bit ago.

Hato: Koro, it’s time for Rurikawa-kun to go home, so he can’t play with you anymore. It’s time for you to say goodbye.

Hato: Ah, that reminds me… I’ve been asked to design costumes for an upcoming play, but I’m a bit short on staff…

Hato: Since you have experience with stage costumes, I was wondering if you’d be able to help me, Rurikawa-kun.

Hato: I can’t give you any of the details yet, but have you heard of Aiko Kataoka-san? They do costumes for Hollywood movies--. 

Yuki: --I’ve heard of them.

Hato: Good. Since you do costume design, I was certain you would.

Hato: What would you say if I told you that the same Kataoka-san is involved with this project?

Yuki: I’d love to do it, but… I’m more busy with my theater company at the moment.

Hato: Right. It is an important time for you guys right now, isn’t it?

Hato: Well, I’m sure there’ll be another opportunity like this at some point, so I’ll let you know when that time comes. Good job today.

Yuki: …

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Passerby A: Yua Troupe’s performance was so novel and interesting~!

Passerby B: I honestly thought they just created a theater troupe for clout, but they called in some real hardcore theater people to be on their production team, so it was way better than I thought it’d be!

Passerby A: The contents of it had that typical Yua Troupe feel that gives things a sense of stability, and the audience was packed with OG fans, so overall, the whole thing seemed to be going pretty strong.

Passerby B: I’m gonna write a review on Encom!

Yuki: (Encom, huh… I’ll check it out just a bit, for the sake of researching other theater troupes.)

Yuki: …

Yuki: (That Yua Troupe they were just talking about was selected as a notable troupe. And they were ranked pretty high during the pre-voting…)

Review: “And the costumes were cool too! They didn’t look a whole lot like stage costumes, but Yua Troupe’s got such good taste~.”

Yuki: …

Yuki: (There’s a MANKAI Company review too… I don’t know if I really want to see something like this, but, well, it’s for research…)

Review: “Spring Troupe’s performance was literally the best thing ever! I never thought they would’ve done a sequel, but the way you could feel how much they’ve grown had me sobbing!”

Review: “I can’t wait for Summer Troupe’s either~. If they go with this trend, that means it’ll be a sequel to their debut, right?”

Yuki: (Seems like people generally liked it…)

Review: “The costumes had that same stable feel they always have. But don’t you think that as Yuki Rurikawa’s become more established as a creator, his costumes have started to lack a bit of surprise and unexpectedness?” 

Review: “Maybe I’m just noticing it more after seeing Yua Troupe. I guess it’s just inevitable when you have the same designer do things every single time~.”

Yuki: --.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Troupe Member: Good work today, Ikaruga-kun. There are only a few more shows left, but let’s keep up the good work until the end.

Misumi: Ka~y! Good work~.

Misumi: (Being on a stage other than MANKAI’s was a little weird at first, but once I got used to it, it’s been fun~.)

Misumi: (It’s interesting to see all the different actors, scripts, and stage direction~.)

Syu: …Good work.

Misumi: Huh? What are you doing here~?

Syu: My bad. I didn’t have your contact info, so I just had to wait for ya to come out.

Misumi: Did you see my performance?

Syu: Yeah. I happened to know someone who was in the show, so I came to watch and was surprised to see you there too.

Syu: While we’re at it, I thought I’d invite ya to come have a drink with me.

Misumi: Sure~. And after that, we can exchange our LIMEs~.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Syu: So you’ve been doin’ a few guest performances here and there lately, huh? Didn’t think ya were the type.

Misumi: Director-san and Tenma and all the others suggested it. It’s been really fun getting out there!

Syu: Is that so? Well, with actin’ talent as good as yours, I’m sure you’ll be in high demand.

Misumi: And they also said that I can grow by gaining lotsa experience on different stages~!

Misumi: I’ve also gotta try even harder for the Fleur Award.

Syu: Huh, I’m surprised you’ve thought about it that much.

Syu: Did Hakkaku-san teach ya about theater?

Misumi: Nope. But he showed me videos of old MANKAI Company performances~.

Syu: I see. Well, given the way Hakkaku-san was, I dunno if he was really the type to take his grandkid by the hand and teach ‘em everything he knows step-by-step.

Misumi: What was it like performing on stage with one of Gramps’s scripts?

Syu: Let me think… Well, simply put, it was excitin’.

Syu: I like Hakkaku-san’s scripts and I was happy to be the first to read ‘em before they were released to the public.

Syu: Hakkaku-san’s scripts ain’t just interestin’ to talk about, they’re pretty actor-friendly too.

Syu: He made sure to think about how to make each and every role shine onstage.

Syu: You could really feel that he trusted ya as an actor, which in turn got ya fired up.

Misumi: I see~. I wish I coulda also been on Gramps’s stage before he died~.

Syu: Did you start actin’ when you joined the troupe?

Misumi: Yep.

Syu: Gotcha…

Syu: Your actin’ has its moments where it shines, but it lacks depth. If there’s anythin’ you should be more aware of in the future, it’s that.

Misumi: Depth…?

Syu: Ya can’t control your own life experiences, but ya can experience the lives of many different actors on stage.

Syu: The more experiences ya have, the more depth your actin’ will have.

Syu: In that sense, you’ve made a good move by adding guest performances to your deck.

Syu: I know you’re prolly busy with the Fleur Award right now, but if you’re interested, get in touch with me. If it’s you were talkin’ about, I’m always ready to welcome ya.

Misumi: Okay, got it~.

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

[lazymonth]

Neg-rant ⚠️

Well, here we go again. Ya know, it's hard to explain the feeling rn, but I can simply say that I got jealous out of my friend again.

The wall of text :

I know that it's common for people to compare themselves to other people sometimes, but it's a bad feeling everytime it's happening. And I feel bad to that, that's happening to me when I saw my friend's work. Because I don't want them to feel bad for making me jealous too..

Most of the time, I got jealous because of the.. well, how good other people can do the " story telling ". Especially my good friend, Danish ( sorry for dragging you into this again ). She has an amazing talent on world building, story telling, and literally EVERYTHING. I'm always looking up to her tbh. But for me, I'm the kind of person who likes to keep stuff inside my head, and I'm quite enjoying drawing stuff like a character relationship and dynamic then a big world building and lore.. something like, you know, yaoi and shipping. But evey time I saw Danish's amazing world building, lore, and journey of The Føol. It's making me feel like " What the hell am I doing here!? She's out there cooking! But all I do all day is making gay drama- ". Main! Turbø is literally doing the REAL The Føol's journey, meanwhile my Turbø is still trying his best to ask Nitrø and KC out! (Maybe it's for the best for Main! Turbø to be Aroace, so he doesn't get distracted by other things )

And Føol's escape stories... It literally has nothing to be compared with the Dawn of Førgotten! That main universe is deep, amazing, and literally having a story inside whole rabbit hole waiting to be found! But mine? Pretty much a straight line... Turbø going out each land and kicking everyone ass so he could just get the hell out of Wøndergotten. Maybe having some self discovery too alone the way.. but compared with the main AU, it's literally having much better Turbø! The way he lost the memories can make so much interesting story of self discovery for that Turbø!! His anxiety, identity crisis, the over all evening!

Seeing how good of that Wøndergotten is making me guilty for having this much of simple storyline... I don't even really have a ACTUAL WORLD BUILDING! The Wøndergotten I have is literally using the same world building and overall thing as same as the main one, just a little bit more chilling for some reason. All the world building stuff is go to Danish who's the creator. Which it's making me guilty again for not doing anything other than playing around with the characters instead of doing some actual story like her.

Actually, If I want to tell the story, I'll be prefer to do the writing more than drawing. But the only reason that I'm not writing it out.. is because I lack of motivation to doing it. You know, when work doesn't get that much attention from the people you're just kinda throw it away... Same here, I wrote the actual Wøndergotten story long ago. I posted it in my writing blog, and even sharing it the main blog and hope people seeing it more! But yeah.. it's not really getting that much of a attention. So, I'm pretty much just F with it and go back to drawing toxic yaoi, which is something that I'm sure people love, and I love it too.

Lack of motivation is probably something that makes me don't draw or write stuff about the story or lore about Wøndergotten much. It's like, yeah I love the characters relationship drama and everyone loves the relationship drama! No one probably cares if I'm posting a draw or a written about a story of AU itself. So that's pretty much why The Føol's escape is 80% Toxic yaoi and 20% The Føol's journey.

Another thing that I want to say is that my humble ass self always makes me see people are better than me. If it's not the art, it's going to be the story telling, and probably the characters building too, sometimes. I never think I'm good enough tbh.. never think I'm a big artist.

Maybe Føol's escape is really the opposite of maine Wøndergotten.. probably the down grade of it.. I really think that sometimes.

[dixonsdarkelf]

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Twenty-One

Main masterlist Series masterlist AO3 link Wattpad link

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist <3 (18+ only, MDNI)

We get a little Vulnerable!Daryl in this one & it makes me emotional I’m not gonna lie

Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please

TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, panic attacks, mention of scars, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death, PTSD

Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed

This story, Lydia Vector, her family & bestie (c) me, dixonsdarkelf

TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series

Legolas & Lord of the Rings (c) J.R.R. Tolkien, Sleeping Beauty (c) Disney

TW/CWs for this chapter--swearing, allusion to child abuse (Daryl’s history), discussion of sibling death (Merle), mention/discussion of scars, discussion of an alcoholic parent, smoking

Word count: 3.3k

"What's this last one?" he asked, flipping it over. It was a picture of me wearing a blue off-the-shoulder ballgown with flowers around the neckline and crystals adorning the cinched waist. There were tulle sleeves and a slit up one leg. My hair was cascading around me in loose curls, and I was leaning back against a tree, hands holding the edges of my dress out as if I was about to start twirling in circles.

"Oh, that's from a renaissance festival I went to. Kathryn took that picture. I wanted to do my own version of the Sleeping Beauty dress," I explained, "so in the movie, there's a dress that the fairies make for her, and there are two that keep arguing over whether the dress should be pink or blue. They go back and forth, changing the color when the other isn't looking, and--"

"She chose blue," Daryl said, his voice so soft he was almost whispering. He was fixated on the picture of me, running his fingers over the edges, and I questioned if he meant to say that out loud or if his mouth got the best of him. Was he talking about me?

"Hmm?" I hummed, pretending not to hear what he said in case he didn't mean to say his thoughts out loud, "oh no, it goes all the way to the end of the movie. Like they're still changing it when the screen fades out."

"This's a real good picture o’ ya. Ya look real pretty," Daryl said.

"You're sweet," I thanked, "I went to a lot of ren fests growing up. I loved to dress up and go all out. This one was by far my favorite." He flipped the pictures back in order to give them back to me, but they spilled out onto the floor, scattering themselves around.

"Shit, sorry."

"It's ok, really," I assured, "shit happens." I leaned over and grabbed the photos closest to me, and Daryl grabbed the rest, handing them to me.

"Thanks for showin' me. Was nice to see the people ya always talkin' so much 'bout," he said. I opened the back of my notebook and placed the photos back, pulling the notes out of my pocket and putting those in as well. "Ya really tied to that thing, aren'tcha?"

"My notebook?" I asked, flipping it around in my hands, "yeah, I guess you could say I am. It's like a security blanket. It's comforting to have it on me, even when I'm not doing anything with it."

He was hesitant before he asked his next question. "Could I...maybe read somethin' of yours sometime?"

I'll admit, I was a little surprised, as he'd never expressed an interest before in reading any of my work. Sure, he'd asked me about it here and there, but he never asked to see it. Part of me, though, was grateful for that. I wrote a lot about Daryl, and he didn't need to know that. Not yet at least.

"Tell you what. If I ever decide that anything in here is quality enough to show to someone else, you'll be the first to know."

"Ya think ya stuff's bad?"

"No, not bad," I said, "just...personal is all. A bit intense at times. It's...it's like a catalog of everything I've gone through since the world went to shit. I'm hoping one day, I can look back on it and be proud of myself for surviving all the stuff in here."

"Should be proud already," Daryl advised, "ya's by yourself out there. Couldn'ta been easy."

You don't even know the half of it, I thought.

There was silence between us for a while as we stared off beyond the walls. It was a comfortable silence, as they had come to be with Daryl. I remembered our first run, the first time we really spent time together, and thought about how far we'd come since then. Just a month and a half ago, I never thought we'd be here. I never thought we'd be up in the watchtower together, spending the night keeping the community safe, nor did I think Daryl and I would have come as far in our relationship as we had. We were essentially a couple, minus the confession of our feelings to one another and more intimate physical contact.

"Hey Daryl? Can I ask you a question? If you don't wanna answer, that's more than ok."

"Sure," he said, a hint of hesitation in his voice, "shoot."

"Do you know where Merle is?"

I held my breath while I waited for his response. I'd been wanting to ask more about Merle for some time now. What I did know was that he was the older one, he was in the military at some point, and he was the ringleader when it came to the drug escapades he and Daryl got into. And that he was a bit of a creep and kind of an asshole. But Daryl never talked about where he was now or if something happened to him. I was worried that maybe it was too fresh of a wound, or perhaps it was simply too painful. It'd been quite a while, though, since I last asked about Merle, and with how close we'd become since then, I was hopeful that maybe, even if he didn't answer, it would open the door for him to share in the future.

"If you don't want to answer, I promise it's ok," I reiterated. He was staring out the window, crossbow popped up on the frame, resting his arm on it. I bit the inside of my lip and waited with bated breath for him to say something, anything.

"He's in Georgia," he finally said. Seeing as it'd taken some time for him to answer with that, I didn't dare ask the follow-up question that came to mind—why didn't he come to Alexandria with Daryl? However, I didn't have to wonder for long. "Dead."

He kept his gaze out the window as he told me everything. He talked about the prison, Woodbury, the man called The Governor, what happened with Merle and the Governor, and how Daryl found him...after he had already turned. And he told me something that I don't think he'd shared with the others before—that the only reason they ever went to Rick's original camp in the first place was because they planned to rob them. But things changed, and Daryl found a family in Rick, Glenn, Maggie, and the others, and chose to stay with them.

My heart was shattering as Daryl filled me in on everything. Having had to kill one of my brothers after he turned, I understood the pain—the pain of wondering if they're ok, then finding them and realizing they're far from it, the farthest in fact. But the gut-wrenching pain of Merle having been killed at the hands of someone else before turning...I wasn't going to pretend to understand that hurt. Daryl was such a good person, and to see such a good person lose so much was heartbreaking.

Daryl was quiet when he finished talking. I wasn't sure whether he was waiting for me to respond or was attempting to find more words of his own. I approached the window and leaned against the wall next to it, looking up at Daryl with the softest, most empathetic expression. I said the only thing I could.

"I...I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that."

He didn't say anything, didn't move or turn his head to look at me. He kept that same stoic expression, looking off at something far in the distance outside the walls. I swallowed hard, feeling bad for asking the question in the first place. "You know that I know how it feels. To have to do that to a sibling. It's awful. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I'm sorry you had to experience that pain too." I reached a hand out and stroked his forearm, drawing small circles with my fingers. "And I'm sorry I brought it up. I'd been avoiding asking because I was worried it'd be too painful. I don't know what came over me." I felt Daryl's muscles relax under my fingers as I worked slowly from his elbow to his wrist, continuing to draw tiny circles.

"Don't gotta 'pologize. I ain't mad at ya," he said, his voice soft. He still didn't look at me. "It's 'cause ya care. I know that."

I tilted my head slightly to try to get him to look at me. "You of all people didn't deserve to experience pain like that. I'm sorry, about everything that happened. But I'm glad you're here now. And I'm glad I am too."

He fidgeted a little before he continued. "Was worried tellin' ya 'bout the robbin' the camp story might..." His voice trailed off before he finished his sentence, though I had a feeling I knew where it was going.

"Might what?" I asked, "make me view you differently?"

"Maybe."

I gave him a soft smile. "Well, you have nothing to worry about there. We've all got a past, Daryl. That's not who you are now. That's all that matters." I was cautious to follow up with what I wanted to say, but my mouth was betraying me before I could do anything to stop it. Maybe it would help him feel less alone. "Hell, there are things you still don't know about me that I feel the same about. That they might make you view me differently."

"You?" He sounded amused when he said it, like he thought I was bluffing. “Dunno what someone like you could do to make me see ya differently." I crossed my arms over my chest.

""Someone like me?" What do you mean by that?" I asked, looking at him quizzically. Being someone who didn't have much of a way with words, I thought he might ignore my question and start talking about something else, or there'd be a long period of silence before he finally gave a response. Neither was the case here. It was like he already had his answer queued up, knowing I was going to ask.

"Someone perfect," he said. My shoulders relaxed as I let out a gentle sigh. I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around his torso, careful to avoid the bandaged wound on his back, and gave him a gentle squeeze. I rested my head on his chest.

"Oh Daryl, you're very sweet, but I am far from perfect." He snaked his free arm around me and placed his hand on my back, just above my waist.

"Well, ya ever wanna share those things I don't know 'bout ya, I'm all ears," Daryl assured.

"Thanks."

"Since ya asked a question that's been on ya mind a while, can I ask one?" he wondered.

"Sure," I replied, biting gently at the inside of my cheek to quell my anxiety, wondering what he was about to ask. I waited with bated breath for him to speak, my mind spiraling in all the different directions he could've been going, but I had a hunch about where we'd end up.

"Do...do ya scars got anythin' to do with what you dream 'bout every night?"

I clicked my tongue and let you a shallow, shaky breath. "Yeah...yeah they do. Figured that's what you might ask."

"How ya figure that?"

"I've caught you staring at them before. You're not very subtle with it," I chuckled, "it doesn't bother me though. Not you looking at least. I know they're kinda hard to ignore." I lifted my arm in front of us, shifting the sleeve of his jacket down and exposing my hand and wrist. I was writhing a little inside. I hated looking at my scars. "I have a fantasy that one day, tattooing will be a reality again, and I'll be able to get them covered up. I think vines with flowers on them would look cool."

I rotated my hand, inspecting both sides of my wrist as if I was looking at my scars for the first time. They were thick bands of scar tissue that adorned both of my wrists like bracelets. They didn't hurt, but there were some sparse patches here and there that were numb. I didn't like them being touched, and despite me never sharing that, Daryl seemed to know. In all the times he'd touched my arms or my hands, he never touched my scars, not even grazing them on accident. There was an unspoken understanding between us about that. I shimmied the sleeve of his jacket back down my arm, covering my scars again.

"Can I ask you something else that's been on my mind for a while? You don't have to answer if it's too much," I said.

"Might'as well," Daryl replied, fidgeting with his crossbow in anticipation.

"You said that I haven't really mentioned my dad much," I said, my words shaky as I tried to control my voice, "you haven't mentioned yours either."

His body tensed under my arms, and his hand on my back curled a bit. I was sure he would've accidentally scratched me if I wasn't wearing his jacket. His answer was short, to the point, but told me everything I needed to know.

"Where ya think my scars came from?"

I didn't want to believe what I was hearing. This wonderful human being, suffering at the hands of one of his parents? My stomach ached. My heart was breaking, shattering, and exploding all at the same time. Tears tried to form and escape my eyes, but I wouldn't allow it. I needed to be strong for Daryl in this moment. No wonder he had the best survival skills I'd ever seen—he didn't have a choice.

How could someone do something so awful to someone so good?

"Daryl..." My voice trailed off, and the only thing I could think to do was wrap my arms around him tighter and give him another squeeze.

"Merle got it first. 'ts why he ran off to the army," he continued. I tilted my head up to look at him. He hadn't once taken his eyes off whatever random object he'd fixated on out in the distance. I'd never seen Daryl cry before, not even come close to, but I could've sworn I saw a tear welling up in his eye. Just one, the moonlight catching it and making it glimmer.

"Daryl, you don't have to—"

"Old man was a drunk," he said. He rested his bow on the windowsill and reached into his pocket, pulling out his box of cigarettes and lighter. He hadn't smoked once in front of me since the first time he did. He knew I didn't like it, but I wasn't going to say anything now. We all had our vices, and I was going to let him have his.

Daryl pulled a cigarette out of the box with his mouth, still keeping his other arm wrapped around me. He had tightened his embrace and brought me closer, like he thought I might slip out and walk away if I had the space to do so. He shoved the box of smokes back into his pocket and lit the one in his mouth, turning his head to puff in the opposite direction of me.

I knew I was privileged to have such a close, loving family, I was never ignorant of that. Being a trauma surgeon, I knew some of the horrors that people experienced at the hands of family, at the hands of people who claimed to love them. I knew not everyone was as lucky as I was. But sometimes, there would be that person who landed on my operating table, and their story would hurt just a little bit more than others.

This one, though...this one hurt the most.

Sweet Daryl, the man I'd become so close to, the man whose shell I'd cracked wide open, the man I'd gotten to open up...the man I'd fallen in love with. To know someone so kind, so protective, so empathetic, had suffered at the hands of his father...and at such a young age...

For his father's sake, I hoped he and I would never cross paths.

I wanted to kiss every single scar on his body and remind him of how appreciated he is, how loved he is. Not just by me, but Carol, Rick, Glenn, Aaron...I wanted to hold him and whisper all the sweet little things I wrote about him in my notebook. I wanted his pain to stop. Such a tender soul shouldn't have to know pain like that. My little Georgia peach shouldn't have to know pain like that.

"You didn't deserve that," I whispered, my gaze still transfixed on his face. He took another puff of his smoke and finally tore his eyes away from the outside world, looking down to meet me. Our noses were barely touching, and I would've certainly taken that opportunity to plant one on his lips if the situation was more appropriate. I did, though, take the opportunity to kiss his cheek. His skin was softer than I was expecting. He flinched just a little, then quickly melted and relaxed under my lips.

"You're so loved Daryl. Don't think for one second that you aren't." I brought my head back to his chest and nuzzled in closer. "I may not have experienced it firsthand, but I know what that kind of thing can do to someone. What it can do to their self-worth, their confidence. Just remember that you're important, and you're deeply loved and appreciated. I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

"Ya really know how to make a guy feel good," he told me, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Only guy I care about making feel good is you," I said. I was almost immediately kicking myself for what I said. My supposed-to-be flirting was more of a sexual innuendo than anything. I quickly took it back to the subject at hand in an attempt to gloss over it. "I'm glad I could do that for you. Thank you for being vulnerable with me, Daryl. It means a lot that you're so open with me."

He took another puff of his cigarette. "Ya make it easy." His hand on my back slid off for just a moment before coming right back, this time slipping underneath his jacket and resting on the bare skin of my side. "This alright?"

"Sure is," I hummed before nuzzling my head further into his chest and closing my eyes. His calloused hand against my soft skin felt heavenly, and it tickled just a little, but not enough to elicit a reaction from me.

Daryl flicked the ashes off his smoke and stomped on them once they landed on the ground. "Thanks for always listenin' to me. Bein' there for me. Dunno what I did to deserve ya."

My heart swelled in my ribcage, the warming sensation that accompanied it seeming to radiate off my body. "Being you. That's what you did."

We spent the rest of the night like that, hooked onto each other like our lives depended on it, like we were afraid the other person would slip away if we loosened our grips too much. We talked for hours, and despite standing the whole time, I almost fell asleep. The rise and fall of Daryl's chest against my head nearly lulled me into dreamland. At one point, his nose nuzzled into my hair, and he kissed the top of my head. His sweet Southern accent whispered something into my hair that I didn't catch. I was in some half-awake, half-asleep state, eyelids heavy and struggling to stay open. A delirious smile spread across my face. What I was feeling was nothing short of absolute magic.

I would be forever grateful that Daryl asked me to keep him company in the watchtower that night.

Taglist: @raddydaddydude

© message below made by me. Sparkle & 'continue reading' dividers are by @/anitalenia

[valentinsylve]

Thinking about the latest smoke on the horizon concerning what adults like to read and how often that seems to be books for children. I don't really understand it, or perhaps I do.

I went to what I cannot overstate was a weird primary school. The main building was an old renovated farmhouse. The walls of one of the big rooms were lined with books of all kinds, mostly not written for children. I remember grabbing a Dostoevsky novel off the shelf in 5th grade (The Idiot) because I was curious. Did I understand it? I was 10 years old, you tell me. Our English teacher had the 9-11 year-olds reading The Call of The Wild and The Crucible. The 12-year-olds were reading Restoration comedy and The Taming of the Shrew at one point. I was not unusually literate as far as I thought. So, keep that in perspective.

I was also reading at home, mainly my parents' large science fiction collection. I usually chose by whichever title or book cover art looked the most intriguing. My favorites were by Ray Bradbury, and they were fairly accessible to children. Even then there were things I didn't "get", but they were interesting anyway. I was also reading a ton of reference books trying to vacuum up as much knowledge as I could. Regardless of schooling, I just cannot remember not wanting to know everything. I also read trash, needless to say.

I got into what was then YA fiction specifically in 6th and 7th grade, because I wanted to know what was considered teen-specific material. Lots of what was available at the public library was pretty weird or actually dark.

Lighter topics included being new in a school and learning the ways of one's peers, but also things like sneaking out of the house at night and going into the city and meeting weird adults in diners and seeing midnight movies. Darker topics included suicidality and abuse, or being forbidden to see a close friend because of homophobia. Happy endings were rare in those books; valuable lessons were hard-discovered and rarely made things better. My point is that every idea was on the table. I was not protected, and that was completely OK by me, even if I was uncomfortable. I wasn't protected in real life, either. By 9th grade I was done with that stuff and reading Anais Nin, Dylan Thomas, and hard sci-fi.

In my 20s I knew a guy my age who was really into Harry Potter and lent me the first book. He was a smart guy with a history degree, and his other favorites were all about World War II or whatever, so yeah, kid's book for fun, sure. It was... fine? But I was 25 and the adventures of Becky Sharp in Vanity Fair were lots more fun.

Does it have something to do with childhood and what that meant to me? By the time I was 8 I was both quasi-nostalgic for an innocence that never was, and longing to be an adult and done with the entire powerless mess of childhood.

It's not that I was any smarter than any other kid - I was simply curious and loved to read and learn things.

[chickensoup1025]

What's your main reasons for the choices you made on the hair//eyes// ect from DR post?

Height: There are a bunch of 5'7 characters in DR and I was happy to use Junko's queen sprite cause I would also wear a crown everywhere-

Hair: my hair is the length and color of Akane's and can be messy like hers too (I was gonna add maybe Toko cause I keep it pulled back most of the time. Double braids are my favorite so would feel right) :))))

Eyes: here are only a handful of characters with brown eyes and most of them are greenish-brown or just really light brown. Yasuhiro was one of the only ones I found with purely dark brown eyes!

Personality: I'm a pretty happy and positive person in general! There isn't one or really even four characters I think could describe my personality so I tried. Saying I'm positive is entirely scrapping the surface though. I'm not two dimensional.

Humor: Miu makes me laugh SO MUCH! There's any opportunity for an innuendo? She'll find it. Luckily my politeness and common sense win out so I don't go spouting the shit she does lol. Point is: she gets me humor-wise.

Intelligence: I know I'm a smart person so I just had to pick a character that was like that too, ya know? I really enjoyed playing Shuichi because we're on the same wavelength and he's as curious about everything as me. There was barely any Me yelling at the screen for the protagonist to be smarter than they are or Me being unable to keep up.

Voice: My friends and I have been playing the dr games together and we divide up characters to voice and Hina was one of mine. She was really really easy to voice but it was just my voice lol.

Clothing Style: So many characters have so much going on style-wise and my day to day is very much Normal. Jeans, graphic T-shirt, comfortable jacket. Nagito's was perfect.

My Danganronpa Crush: I don't care if this makes me basic, it means others have good taste too: Chiaki is my love. Her personality, her looks, her failed humor, her goals, her interests, her intelligence, her kindness, etc.!

Some more things that would be fun to make categories for would be-

Which Character's Killing Game Experience I Think I Would Have: I'd try to be like Kyoko and Kokichi in that they work behind the scenes to stop the game. If I were to be a blackened it would be similar to Leon as I would not plan it but it's out of self defense. If I was a victim it would be either like Imposter because I'm trying to stop someone else from getting hurt or like Sakura/what Ryoma wanted to do because I'd give up my life to save everyone else's I think. (Yes, don't worry I'm in therapy). As a regular player I'd try to be like Kaede/Imposter/Kaito in trying to bring everyone together and getting morale up.

Which Motive I'd Be Most Swayed By: The motive videos are absolute classics. And for good reason. I don't know who I'd see but, yeah. Either that or the despair disease because killing is so out of my character.

Who I'd Kill: K1-B0, sorry man. No hard feelings! (Warning: robophobic) you're just not human. You can be brought back.

Who I'd Let Kill Me: Sayaka, my queen. She didn't know about the class punishment if she got away with murder so I'm assuming I wouldn't either, I'd let her kill me if someone had to. Or Gundham, to save everyone from starvation.

[thuganomxcs]

Mun, what are your favorite ships you got going on with Yusuke?

That's like asking a parent who their favorite kid is. Don't mean for this to sound cheesy or 'overdone' but I really do love 'em all because each of them brings something new on the table.

There's Hiyori and Yusuke which is TECHNICALLY my first ship with Yusuke period on tumblr. It's a nice story about friends turning into mentor and student but all of a sudden the mentor's spent too much time with his student and there's the feels. Not to mention there's the funny time where he groped her and she rearranged his jaw XDDD He really likes a baddie that could kick his ass.

There's also Nezuko and Yusuke, two kids that were 'troublesome' to the world except one of them actually HAS a family and a working support system. Yusuke saw himself in her (more ways than one XD) and that fire in her was something that sparked interest..not to mention she was also cute. She really was not someone with the most faith in herself but Yusuke saw SOO much untapped potential in her, she might have been a 'delinquent' but unlike him she had a future with her education and it was a future he didn't see for himself, he couldn't because he still felt confused about where he belonged in the world. Eventually they do fall in love..I think pretty much after our AU Chapter Black and he promises to marry her, the same sphiel he gave Keiko in the canon story.

Then there's Yusuke and Mulan, whom by far is probably my most fleshed out ship cause of the joys of discord. That ship..well how it started out it reignites the lessons Genkai has taught him because she met him well into his early adult years where he's already had his food truck. The man already thought she was someone he HAD to protect because of the fact that spirit world decided to fuck with him and place her into a dream that's more of a premonition and from there they just hung out and found out things about one another. She found out that he does supernatural stuff on the side (or technically it's his main source of income as the food truck is the front) and he found out that she's probably the most stubborn person he's ever met. Then there's even an AU we got where she's just a part of the gang all the way back to after Yusuke's first resurrection, fun times.

I can't talk about ships without mentioning Yusuke's ship with my homies old muse Alyssa. I think that's TECHNICALLY my third ship on Yusuke and again THANKS to the power of Discord we're able to dive deeper into it and even made our 'verse' if you will that ship shares a universe with another ship we have involving different muses and it's all fun and chaotic. That one was definitely great for Yusuke too because Alyssa helped him deal with his trauma..namely his fear of abandonment thanks to mister deadbeat.

There's also the toxic ship I have with my homies Muse, Yusuke and Maiz. A person that aesthetically pleasing to Yusuke but he can't see himself falling in love with her cause the bitch is fucked up. He might bang her here and there (IF THAT AT ALL) but he'd definitely not catch any feelings for her and THAT'S JUST IN THE REGULAR VERSE, because there's also a JJK version of her that's JUST of a menace and that one is actually tamer because he could just have her channel all those violent tendecies into him. Ya know keep the world safe that kind of thing.

There are more ships I got too with Yusuke and each of them brings a smile to my face and despite having a multimuse blog these ships really give me soo much muse for this guy, that if I wasn't a working man i'd probably spend my vacation days exploring ALL of these ships. SO YEAH, I love them all because they bring something new to the table each day they're explored.

EDIT: I really haven't even touched the surface cause there's Yusuke x El, Yusuke x Mitsuri, Yusuke x Serena (yup from pokemon), there's the budding relantionship between Yusuke and Yuko.

[atwistinthetail]

I’m which @opalsiren speaks to my soul once more

I’ve started and then deleted this post a bunch before

bc it’s like… 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝓈𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 lmao

but ok so a lot about me under the cut and tw for 𝒷𝑜𝒹𝓎 𝒾𝓈𝓈𝓊𝑒𝓈 🩵

a reason I’ve always gravitated to Charlotte is absolutely bc I am a tall and curvier girlie and we don’t see that physical type much as anything besides like

frumpy.

like you can be short and midsized and it’s cute

or tall and thin obv

but being tall and midsized, I don’t want to say “normal sized” (bc what is normal size, but I am fighting the language that has always existed in my brain here)

but I guess I will call it a more common size for actual women and girls than it’s portrayed

being that size has not traditionally fit any archetypes.

lil side note but I went to school for acting, my class was all cis women and our professor was a middle aged man bc you know, school. and he did this exercise where each of us would stand on stage and the rest of the group would typecast the person. on paper yeah could be useful but really it was just about judging each others’ bodies right.

so I was always a “character” type (not like a lead ingenue or love interest) and sometimes it could be a sexy character or a desirable character, but usually it was a Mother or a Queen or some other older and/or authoritative role bc being tall and not having a willowy build meant I couldn’t be a love interest objectively. and if it was a sexy character it was also a comedic character or a “bimbo”

(side side note my best friend then and still a good friend now was the classic ingenue type, and we were always lowkey being pitted against each other and only realized it in the past few years being out of that environment. and she would get comments, again from faculty, that she was too thin so ya know. we love womanhood.)

okay but anyway I promise I’m getting back to Charlotte here

seeing a tall girl with even a slightly bigger build than the usual main girl aesthetic was is huge, bc for all the ways the writing failed her, Charlotte is still a love interest. we know she won’t get the guy, but Lewis and Cleo and the audience at least see her as a potential romantic partner and it’s not a joke that she likes Lewis bc she’s frumpy and unattractive and taller than him.

she’s very powerful. she’s a mermaid. she’s intellectual and she’s a theatre kid, and it’s just a facet of her character, not in service of making her dorky.

I don’t mind that she’s a villain. what really bothers me the most, personally, about what was done to Charlotte is that she wants to be accepted by this group of very traditionally hot, skinny 2000s girlies and is bullied and excluded by them at every turn. that is my supervillain origin story lol.

so if they just went all the way and made her a bitch (affectionate) from the very beginning and she was a true supervillain, I would take that in stride. it also makes sense that the trio would have some resistance or insecurity about letting a new person into their group and that’s a pretty sincere conflict.

but instead of exploring that they just created a very grounded in reality lady that I really felt for bc she was meeee, gave her all these great traits that characters like that never got, and then made her othered in a way that was way too true to life without commenting on it at all.

uhh idk what my thesis here is really, just a lil thought dump on a Tuesday morning 🩵

[vacantgodling]

🌻🌻🌻🌻

thank u for the excuse to ramble about celestial weddings cuz i haven’t talked about this wip much on this iteration of my blog lol

celestial weddings as a wip started when i was watching a series of documentaries in 2021… i think? or 2022 i can’t remember. but it was a series documenting different wedding traditions and rituals across the globe and that got me thinking about a story that explored a multitude of different wedding traditions being the main focus. this lead to the idea that it shouldn’t just be a bunch of random weddings but it should be a polyamorous vibe where the main character is almost in an otome game scenario except they have to marry a number of different suitors for one reason or another with MY overarching goal to make fun and interesting fantasy wedding traditions.

this developed into the character of dagmar. i don’t have any updated art of him but here’s the most recent art i have of him

and then the story started to snowball.

so, dagmar is non-binary; and along with polyamory that’s the other aspect of this wip: every character is non-binary and most of them tend to go by multiple pronouns. dagmar himself (i use him a lot bc he is inherently masculine and he is the first of his pronouns in preference) goes by he/they/she. and i think what’s interesting about this wip and about dag in general is that pronouns tend to shift in relation to the person that they’re around and the relationship they have. for instance with one of his lovers, lilliabet, dag mainly goes by he/they. however with another of his lovers vigustav (one of the only two who uses a singular set of pronouns) dag actually goes by she/her pretty exclusively. i don’t know why this is exactly but i’ll explore it more when i have more of a brain.

the reason dag is marrying all these people tho is bc he’s been chosen as a potential candidate for the celestial ruler, who p much oversees everything that goes on in the realm and throughout the 8 spheres (or realms) in this world. they all have names and the like which maybe i’ll ramble about later but we move on for now. the celestial ruler has a council of celestial lovers who help them in their decision making and ruling and it’s one person from each of the 8 spheres that they marry. marriage does not have to be inherently romantic btw but in this story and in anything about this universe i may do it will be cuz i personally like romance but it doesn’t gotta be so yknow.

anyway i love all of dag’s relationships with his partners. btw this poly circle is a one axis many spokes scenario. the other celestial lovers become friends and close like family but none of them are particularly attracted to each other in a romantic or sexual way (this does not mean orgies or group sex is off the table in any way tho yknow. ya can do what you want without attraction in pursuit of closeness and bonding etc etc i don’t feel like getting into the weeds) however there have been more complicated circles of polyships of previous celestial rulers so yeah.

ALSO i wanted all of the relationships to kind of speak to a different type of dynamic that i like tho i’m still working on the kinks of this as i learn more about the other lovers and their personalities. lillia, viggo, aenlin, and zhujen i have the best grasp of a personality and dynamic of so that leaves 4 others i gotta get to know better. but here’s a doodle of all the lovers it’s kinda old also and not entirely accurate but i need to make character and realm sheets for them LMAO. also now all the lovers have names but back then they didn’t LMAO. so going L to R top to bottom:

lilliabet (she/they) ; rhohanen (they/he) ; vigustav (he/him) ; almine (he/she) ; aenlin (he/they/she) ; zhujen (she/her) ; muu (they/she/he) ; izul (they/them)

and slightly better doodle of my faves

(vigustav, lilliabet, rhohanen, aenlin)

[nagito-kissmaeda]

Curious: what are your general thoughts on the mainline Danganronpa games (Trigger Happy Havoc, Goodbye Despair, Ultra Despair Girls, Killing Harmony)? Like which one’s your favorite/least favorite, etc?

Ooh fun!! I do have lots of thoughts. I guess I’ll do them in order of fave to least fave. Under a readmore because I had too much to say

SDR2 - BRILLIANT, absolute pinnacle. I think the main reason sdr2 works so well is that it understands most players will be returning from THH so it ramps the tension up to 11 right from the get go by revealing that everyone has lost memories straight away. Most of the murders are really cool, trial 5 is the best one in the series, obvz. The island setting is nice too, it’s very different from the first game but not in a way that is too jarring. Oh and the cast is the best I think. Obviously I have issues with Hanamura but they have the sense to kill him straight away so no biggie. My only other character issue is that I really wish they did more with Owari, she’s kind of nothing and that’s sad. Also tragic that Saionji didn’t get her character arc :(( OH AN TSUMIKI NEEDS TO NOT FALL OVER SO MUCH THATS STUPID

Komaeda is there and he is the most interesting and coolest character ever. +100000000 points

UDG: okay okay, controversial for me to put it so high I KNOW. It’s got so so so many problems and yet….it compels me. I love Komaru, she is my favourite protag and I always liked Fukawa, so it’s nice to see her sort of come into her own and get to be a bit of a hero. UM THE MUSIC IS THE BEST. I like when it goes YEAH YEAH YEAH. I also actually really like the setting of Towa city? It’s cool to see the effects the tragedy had on the world as a whole, and it’s fun to explore. Gameplay is messy, but I don’t hate it, I have played much worse.

I had a lot of issues with the warriors of Hope in general and do wish they stuck with the initial plan of having the remnants of despair be the boss fights. Sigggghhhhhh, so upset that it was taken from us. That would have been the COOLEST.

Wish the tickle machine wasn’t in it. Wish the pedophile was dead. Wish Kotoko didn’t fall down so much. Wish Fukawa toned it down with the incest jokes.

I need servant carnally.

THH: THE OG MY BELOVED. I have a lot lot lot of nostalgia for this one, it’s very soft to me, I feel like I grew up in hopes peak lol. For serious though, Hopes peak is a cool af setting, it’s such a weird school and the art direction is absolutely stunning. I mentioned in a previous ask that it’s probably a bit too slow going, but it’s fair because this really was the first game of its kind and they have to tell you how to play it.

The reACT mechanic is funny and useless. I am glad they got rid of it, but it makes me laugh when I see it.

I love all the characters, they are like children to me. I even like Yamada, it’s the truth. I think they majority of characters are more toned down in this game, which is to its benefit I would say. Some characters in later games are a Bit Much.

I also like all the motives! They actually make sense??? And it’s the only game where Monokuma doesn’t cheat with a, “kill before arbitrary time limit or everyone dies” which is the worst motive and I hate it.

The Fujisaki problem is very present, unfortunately. I still don’t think they were meaning to be offensive anyway, but ya know. I’m pretty chill with any interpretation, but I usually consider them a transwoman

V3 : Hm. I do not like. The school is very very big and so easy to get lost in, where the first two games feel very distinct and easily navigable. It’s also not much different than Hope’s Peak, which is a little boring.

I want to punt the Monokubs into a volcano. V3 feels even slower and longer than THH and I blame them. They talk so much and so often and it never progresses anything and UGH.

I’m iffy on way more characters. Like I mentioned before they can be a Bit Much. I’m meaning your Tenkos and Mius. They have One thing, and that’s all they do and are, which is uninteresting and ANNOYING. It feels like so many of them have been boiled down to one trait, even characters I like such as Tsumugi and Himiko are like that, but their trait is less loud so it doesn’t annoy me so much.

Motives are stupid and dumb almost always. Hate them. Fucking necronomicon makes me want to chew glass.

The protag switch is cool. I like it, but I miss Kaede every single day.

The ending I do not like. It would be a whole five more paragraphs for me to explain my issues in full, but it sort of betrays it’s own messaging and renders the rest of the game meaningless (at least in my opinion)

Cospox makes me want to die

The music and UI are very good though!!

This was so so so long. I have more Thoughts, but I will save you from them for Now

[aceaceace144616]

Welcome, Caller

by M Dean Wright

my thoughts in a nutshell: "oh no hes just like me fr"

ok i dont really review books or anything, thats my friend's job (cheeky promo alana_the_bibliophile on instagram) nah yeah but this one was just so good.

firstly, as a neurodiverse bi trans dude i related so hard to Malcom (the main character) with the overloads and insecurities and just everything. i may or may not have to get this entire transcript tattooed upon my person cos it just hits so close to home in places i didnt even realise until the book brought them to my attention.

like the whole thing about Malcolm not going after things that will make him happy (Peter) just cause he feels like hes so fucked up ± messing something up on purpose before you can mess it up by accident vibes. i literally said (in a squidward impression cos that is important information) "oh no hes just like me for real" out loud on a bus (but it was a loud bus so no one heard) (hopefully). also another thing, Peter telling Malcolm about his auDHD and what he likes + dislikes about sensory stuff. and Malcolm believing and respecting him. i just. its such wish fulfilment. that along with the rest of the story, its all just wish fulfilment. having multiple queer and neurodiverse friends that help you when youre struggling and will beat up your unsupportive family members. (also having a dude think youre hot. wouldnt mind)

secondly, it was just a good read. like i really enjoyed reading it, which hasnt happened for a while. it made me smile and laugh in public (which i never do). fr i was having a giggle on the bus, in class, in doctors waiting rooms, everything. i actually looked forward to reading it as well and i had to trudge through other stuff just so i could get back to it.

lowkey gives love simon vibes (from what i remember of the book when i read it in like 2018), just chock full of natural and believable sounding dialogue and references to things im sure ill actually like. (in my notes app on my old phone i went through the book and wrote down all the references made in love simon and it was pretty extensive (and now i have to do this for this book. oh no guess ill have to read it again oh this is so sad whelp better start now see ya)).

and like the friendship between the characters, the dialogue never felt too forced and they talked like actual people id talk to. swearing at and bullying your friends is a love language and it was done pretty well in this, and also the sending of memes being like an important step in a friendship is too real. also the revival of interest in records, my cousins poor bank account is a testament to that being relatable.

thirdly, the story. we got enemies to friends to lovers, we got 'there was only one bed', we got a road trip, we got a sickfic, and so much more and you know that i ate it up every time.

that as well as the epic highs and lows of making friends in your 20s (lol).

the book follows Malcolm slowly becoming friends with this irl dude Peter while falling for this 'mysterious' radio host Rebo, with his friends supporting him the whole time.

like i dont really go for romantic style stories but this was just so good (but then again ive barely read anything since back when i used to inhale books at like age 12) + the chemistry between Malcolm and Peter was just chefs kiss so good man.

also, the name Goby (one of his friends) kinda got me tho ngl, gobby is australian slang for… something, and i got a jump scare whenever they showed up lol.

Edit: they Goby on my Gumby till I Cheese. I'm so fucking sorry I had to write that down I couldn't get to sleep.

the only bad thing about the book (not that its bad bad, just like if i had to pick something) would be that the ending was made out of like 3 epilogues with indeterminable time skips between them. unless i missed something idk. im just more about the 'the characters kept on living' kinda ending, less 'albus serverus potter' style stuff, not that it was even like that tho.

but also wanting to own and run an incredibly specific cafe+store with your partner is just so fucking gay. oh my god. fanfiction shit right there /pos.

lastly, i haven't read heaps of books in the last couple years, preferring movies and shows more than my childhood self who lived in books series, almost like i didnt like reality or something (unthinkable ik)(i literally had this printed out and hung on my wall)(and on me liking movies more, thats a whole nother fucking topic and a half so ill complain about it in another post)(but anyway).

like honestly, i think that i might get back into reading, even though i forgot how many hours just fly by when i read, cos this was just great. (dont tell my mum she'll throw a fucking party)(again, different topic).

also admittedly, i did sotra kinda maybe slightly pirated it and read it off a pdf BUT! cos i like it so much im probably going to buy a physical copy (for almost 40 fucking dollars including shipping Jesus fucking Christ)

ik not a single person but me will see this review but i dont care. this book was made for me about me

tldr:

[radiantlyrey]

Thoughts on Uprising Ep 6 Isolated

- *rubs hands together* yessssssss give me the Paige backstoryyyyyyyy

- I’m gonna say Beck is mostly better at stealth missions?? Like this one still ends badly (for the most part), but at least he didn’t get caught in the middle of a bad situation like usual

- interesting to see Paige’s living quarters, and the last vestiges of her former life!! A photograph and a sound board. Poor bird…..

- aerial chase scene is pretty nice, tho less nice for Beck and Paige given it ends with them wrecked on an island

- like, I don’t have much to say about the A plot of Beck and Paige?? I love that Beck’s humane approach to being the Renegade shines through repeatedly with him. He won’t derezz programs, and he won’t let them die, either. Kiddo’s doing his best, and good for him.

- and then: MY GIRL QUORRA SHOWING UP IN FLASHBACK!!!!!!!! I love that they got Olivia Wilde to reprise her role here!! It’s so interesting to see what Quorra was like during the Purge (and before Flynn, too). You can tell that she’s not completely clueless or helpless; and while she may be naive in some respects she isn’t totally stupid either.

- also love/am interested in the whole thing about programs generally staying within their functions, and straying from that, while not totally taboo, is kind of unheard of and frowned upon by some. Paige is a med program who wants to make music. And I love that Quorra encourages her interest!!! Isos being unique in that they have no directive and can do anything they want—which is why Clu wants them destroyed, because anything he cannot control is dangerous and could turn against him. But I love that Quorra thinks that freedom should be extended to regular programs, too. It’s a sweet little moment between her and Paige.

- other stuff.. hm….. I can tell the creators were sort of positioning Beck and Paige as like the main relationship (romantic or otherwise) of the series?? Like, the flirting, for one thing. And then these moments of trust building and breaking between them. Given the reveal at the end with Tesler, I think maybe the eventual plan may have involved Paige switching sides??? But we’ll never know, because there’s only one season and argh.

- speaking of That Reveal: I mean, we all knew Tesler was a bastard, but damn is he a Bastard. For all we know he had his men mess up the med center, too. But this definitely has the feel of something that would have come back to bite him in the ass in a later season with Paige. Like, you wanna talk about trust betrayed?? Killing Paige’s friends for no real reason is not gonna win you points when Paige finds out, ya jerk. Even if you did mentor her. Ugh. Thinking about what could have been makes me sad………

- other interesting details: interesting that Isos are seen as a contaminating force on the Grid!! Like, obviously Clu would make up anything to get rid of them. But still interesting that it’s seen that way. (Also I love this detail bc my fic The Outpost deals with a virus that turns out to be biodigital in nature, so it’s almost like I did it on purpose!!) // also interesting: apparently big enough disruptions to the structure of a place (or a program; see Beck’s arm) can cause it to derezz?? I just like that and I may file it away for future use…….. // also just. Getting this backstory on Paige highlights in a way some of the moral decisions we’ve seen her make, such as with the drill in ep 4. She was a med program; she helped programs get better and heal, and there may be some part of her that does not want to end lives needlessly. And I love that about her. Ugh. She’s hands down the most interesting character in this show and I love her so much!!!

- so yeah!!! Good good episode, would watch again, 10/10 no notes (except these)

[takumi-sumino]

Part 2, electric boogaloo

Again, long, so under the cut

Nigou and Sirei

Marketable plushie characters, and only slightly hideous.

From what I've gathered, the two of them control different squadrons? We end up in Sirei's, and some other characters end up in Nigou's?

Their design with very obvious brains and hearts makes me think there will be some sort of plot point surrounding those vital areas. Not exactly à la Assassination Classroom, but something where the students attempt to kill them. They just feel like pretty obvious targets, ya know?

And especially when you're attempting to command teens, who absolutely do have a reason to hate you, who also have access to a multitude of weapons- why have such obvious weak points?

Takemaru

The classic "guy who looks far too old to be a highschool student". I don't actually know too much about him yet, but he looks interesting. He surely has some tragic backstory, at the very least.

Takumi

Oh hey this guy looks familiar

Probably my favourite out of all the Kodaka protag designs? I love when protagonists also look like they could be a wacky side character.

Now, this man is going to commit and witness many atrocities. I feel like there will be a lot of timeline jumping, from what we've seen of the promotional materials and trailers, and I feel pretty confident in the assumption that it's all for Karua's sake. Whether or not it'll be deliberate jumping, or more like the morphogenetic field and accidental, remains to be seen, but the goal will probably be to protect Karua.

From the very little we've seen of him, I'm thinking he's more a Hajime or a Komaru than a Makoto or Yuma. Bit more cynical, more likely to feel hopeless, that sort of thing.

I said this with Eito, but I hope we get to see him snap. Perhaps even descend into madness or obsession over his goal. As a treat.

I hope I don't regret choosing him as my main favourite🙏

Tsubasa

Her weapon being a whole ass militarised car is sick as hell

I like her quite a bit as well, I think she has a neat design.

She appears to be among the more normal of the characters, which I always appreciate in games like these. If every character is wacky and wild, it just starts feeling nonsensical, ya know?

Nothing else to really say about her, but (unless she is actually extremely annoying in game) I will definitely be spending time with her.

Yugamu

He's sick as well, I adore his casual outfit. Eyepatch freaks me out a little, which is probably its intended purpose, so good job on that.

He's an assassin? But believes in killing with love? Is this an interesting moral code that I will enjoy tearing into? Quite likely.

He feels like the guy who starts off really threatening, and you don't quite trust him, but he develops into one of your most loyal friends. If still quite threatening.

I *really* like him. Which is funny, because I wasn't a very big fan of him when we first got to see him. His design has definitely grown on me.

These Two

I'll call em Purple and Yellow for now.

Purple is really cute, I like her design a lot- although, I was a little surprised when I found this image. I always thought she was chubby, rather than muscly. That's not a problem either way, she looks adorable and I love her. I hope her weapon is a comically sized hammer with a heart on it.

Yellow- I see he's the designated "weird out of the artstyle design" of the game. He reminds me of Desuhiko a lot, and I didn't mind Desuhiko that much, so that's a good start. Nothing to really say other than that?

I don't know anything about these two, so maybe these opinions will change as more gets released about them.

But yeah, I'm very excited for this game! These designs as a whole aren't bad at all, so good job to them on that front. Let's hope their personalities are just as good.

I've seen a couple of people do stuff like this, so I'm gonna take a stab at it. My thoughts on every character so far! (Long post, so the opinions are all under the cut)

Darumi

She feels like an audience insert of sorts, with her immediate mention of death games and her outfit looking like something a stereotypical "2020 danganronpa cosplayer" would wear.

She's a bit unhinged from what we've so far, but she also seems like she'll be a lot of fun to watch on screen, and isn't that what's most important?

Definite and overwhelming red herring for something, however. Unsure for what yet, but she screams red herring to me.

Also, the fanart of her has been spectacular. Keep it up, lads.

Eito

I'm sure we've all seen *the scene*, so there's that. If that's not out of context somehow and consensual, then- yay? Good for the yaoi fans.

I immediately liked him when I first saw his design, he just *looks* nice. I'd let him hold my drink at a party. I've read somewhere that he becomes Takumi's closest friend, and I dearly hope that that's true, because that means we get lots of Eito content.

I'm also unbelievably excited for that one ending where he inevitably goes off the deep end and does something absolutely horrific. There has to be one. Manifesting it. I love watching my favourite characters commit atrocities.

Gaku

Can I just say how different he specifically looks in his two different outfits? I didn't even recognise him when his sprite of him in the uniform was revealed. His casual outfit is so silly, and his uniform looks the most like he's about to beat my ass. The gattling gun also helps, probably.

That aside, I don't feel that strongly about him. He's probably a nice enough guy, nothing else to say about him.

Hiruko

She's actually drop dead gorgeous. One of the best casual outfits.

Moving on, I think she's the one who's the leader of the squadron? She seems to have experience with facing the enemies, and she's still alive, so I admire the heck out of her for it. She also has an axe that is bigger than her; you can have all the gattling guns or scythes or floating knives in the world, but nothing bests a good old-fashioned ginormous axe.

Ima

Goofy face, what's he looking at me like that for?

This guy has a bit of a reputation, I know, but I'm choosing to have faith.

A sister complex is not inherently sexual or romantic (although it often is) and I find complicated and toxic family relationships in media quite interesting.

I am, however, almost entirely leaning on Uchikoshi here. Clover and Snake's sibling relationship was extremely well written, and I'm hoping that even if he does feel romantically inclined towards his sister, it's just as well written. I'm choosing hope.

Also, his weapon is phenomenal. I might need to make a weapons tierlist at some point.

Kako

She's a cutiepie, and I haven't missed the fact that she and her brother have angel/devil symbolism with their weapons.

Apparently, the two of them are a bit younger than many of the other students, so that should be interesting- Takumi I know is 17/18. Apparently, they're still in Junior High, so 14/15? I wonder if there'll be any split because of the age groups?

I want nothing but the best for her and I hope she gets it. And doesn't die too many times.

Karua

Likely the one this story revolves around, and one of the more mysterious characters.

I'm curious about her, but I don't really feel anything that strong about her. I am fairly certain that Takumi will tear apart reality itself for her, so she'll probably be a pretty nice character. And hopefully, NOT a twist villain.

Kurara

Absolutely wild to have a masked character in a game that Uchikoshi is writing, I'm sure that has never happened before.

She's filthy rich and has a tomato for a head, I- really don't know what to say about her. Her weapon is hilarious to me, "rich girl above all rich girls" and has a shovel for a weapon. I respect the grind, at least.

I'm sure in true Zero Escape fashion, we'll unmask her in one timeline and use that information in another.

Kyoshika

I genuinely have nothing to say about her- I learned she existed a couple days ago? Had never noticed her before, honestly.

She has a cool outfit in any case.

I just remembered there's a 10 image max on the app, so I'll continue this in a reblog

[ducknotinarow]

💭 for all Raphs: Technology, Flowers, Regret, Change, and Dreams

| Send 💭+ a topic Kezzie whhhhy XD i'm put it under a read more for length mostly. I'm gonna included some au stuff only if I got something to say for it cause I can, but they will stay under the verse of the iteration I'll specify the au sections ofc. Any talking bits are main verse only tho. 87

|Technology|

"Eh that's more Donatello's thing." Tech isn't really in Raph's skill set, sure he isn't the meat head many other Raphael are but it's still not something he deals with too much. Mostly due to growing a bit of a distaste for his twins inventions and ya know one making him feel like he was gonna die? Yeah raphs not the biggest fan with most technological things. Raph often feels tech isn't all it's cracked up to be seeing how often it sort of fails even. He thinks tech should stay simple as simple as possible at that. But don't mean he won't listen to his brother ramble about his inventions like he used to before. It's sort of how hes trying to meet his brother in the middle when it came to their argument |Flowers|

"Eh I don't think much about 'em, long as they aint mutant ones trying to eat me at least."

Flowers are nice and all but I can't really say Raph is much for flowers, nothing against them he just dont see the appeal himself. He thinks they are pretty of course, they are very pretty. The closest he has interest into flowers is he really like the Sunflower painting by Van gogh as stated Raphs dose has a like and interest in art himself so of course he tends to stray more that way.

But Flower also relate to romance so lets go there uwu

Raph figured out he was more in favor for men when it came to his attraction. Not sure he had a type he just knew what he found to draw his eye like a well dress guy in a suit and tie looks good. SO it is funny that Casey in his trash attire as Mikey would call it drew Raph's eyes. Casey is wild, crazy and totally violent and despite it Raphael took a liking to Casey right away. Raph's pretty hands on with his and Casey relationship not really holding back how he feels and Casey seems to take no issue with how over the top Raph can be. All took was for Casey to say he thought Raph was funny for those seeds to plant and turn more into love than just Raph having a crush. Raphael likes that Casey seems to like Raph for the things that are who Raphael is even when he sometimes feels those things might make him come short compared to the rest. He knows he can make Casey laugh and even feel loved and safe so he takes pride in that.

|Regret|

"...I regert not being a better brother."

Raphael loves his family its kind of all he really has, I mean that's a tad obvious of course. They are the only ones like them and I would say Raphael is pretty close to all his brothers to different degrees. Of course, he is sarcastic to them all but they seem pretty used to the snippy behavior he has demonstrate time and time again. Mostly they blow it off or get annoyed but that's just brothers for you. He is arguably the closest to Donatello. So any fight between them tends to carry more weight. Raphael still blames his and Donatello's fight on himself. From being a jerk towards his brother when it came to their inventions something that Donatello takes a lot of pride into. To not even being away they went through some heart break. Raph really wants to re patch things between especially after Don's time ad a little turtle again where he just spent time with them he's seeing he misses that and feels it is his own fault why that happened.

|Change|

"Eh I don't change much i'm always as I come off."

I dunno if it fits but I'm going with it, I like that despite how negative Raphael can be when it comes to being hero sometimes first to make things out for humans to deal with themselves not understanding why it has to be them to fix the issue. Heck sometimes he doesn't even want to fight instead he pitches they just go home. Much like the time he got to go to the boat party, when seeing people need help? Raphael at his core dose in fact want to help. When he thought he was going to die it was how he wanted to go out even. Raphael can act selfish and sometimes he is even but even when humans don't always have the best opinion of them, Raph with change his tune because in truth he isn't that selfish that he won't help someone in need.

|Dreams| "You uh ya don't wanna be bored with what I dream about now would ya? Nah course not I bet that yappy Raphs dream got way more going on."

Raphael sometimes dreams about Casey, but not in a way you might think. He dreams about them and a life they maybe can have. Raphael has said it from the start he is nuts himself he don't know why he could see forever with Casey from the start he just knew it was what he wanted. He dreams of calling home the same place Casey dose. He dreams of mundane conversations about things being broken or needing to be fixed in their place. The idea of lounging on the couch with out having to worry about falling asleep because if he dose they can stay there all night or Casey could carry him to bed for the night. Maybe little foot steps are in those dreams he hasn't thought to much on that outside knowing he might have to keep telling Casey he can't lay eggs despite being a turtle u-u

Raphael just get's a bit too embarrassed this is something he dreams about just something so normal despite everything about himself, their relationship even Casey himself not being normal he likes to think they can have their own normal.

03/07

|Technology|

"I ain't the geek of the team 'hat's Don's 'hing. Me? I rather break stuff, mostly bones. But ya want the best guy for the job? Ask Donnie hes the wiz"

Yeah Raph ain't much for the tech stuff he tends to keep things more simple as well. Honestly he don't have the patience either. Raph is a more street smart turtle anyway sure he likes to read but his cleverness is far more on the being able to think on his feet aspect over how his twin brother tends to work. Brains and Brawn for a reason and Raph's pretty happy sticking to be brawn he approach to tech isn't to hack its just to smash it. least he tends to know when he should grab something for Donnie to check out later. |Flowers|

"Roses are nice." Despite Raph being mister tough guy we all know this boys got the biggest soft side to him. Raphael never had love on the mind though. Leo may be a romantic and Don dreamed to have a family his own someday. Raphael? nah romance wasn't in the cards he thought. Sure Raphael felt attraction being bisexual he dose tend to lean more towards men himself having a thing for muscular builds. Raphael wouldn't really turn down a chance to get intimate.

Then he gained feelings for Casey. And that was a problem. Casey struggled because of his fathers ways and instilling homophobia into poor Casey. Raphael? it wasn't that it was because Casey is his best friend. His only real friend. Casey the one person in the whole world hell universe that understands and gets him. Nothing about Raph seems to deter Casey away from him. Casey likes Raphael as he is, the broody, grumpy turtle he can be yet here's Casey draping an arm over his shoulders and telling them they should fix their bikes together well letting Raph have a space to air out his temper with out judgement. Casey this chill near laid back guy and well hes good looking. He looks out for Raph as well. Sure Casey likes to tease Raph but he never annoys Raph, despite being able to get on anyone nerves Raph even jumps in defense of Casey. And when he got feelings romantic feelings? Raphael wanted to deny them bury them and hope they die because he didn't think Casey would feel the same. What if Casey was grossed out by it?

Lucky for him Casey actually liked him back, so because Raph was the one to confess first he tends to try that more on his end. Like when he first told Casey he loved him he gave him a rose. He's seen humans do it before, and I like to think it's still something Raph dose for casey to this day present them with a single small red rose. Usually it's for no reason at all sometimes it's on purpose but he will kick Casey's ass if he teases him to much for it. But Flower mean feeling bloom and well that why he likes to do it. Cause Casey was the one to bring that out of Raph.

|Regret|

"....I regret hurting them."

Is it a surprise? his biggest regret is that he broke up with Casey, that he pushed Don out of his life. Raphael is closest to his twin and his best friend they are the ones that Raphael finds peace around the most. But Raphael will never truly forgive himself for what he did. Raphael dosen't know if they ever fully forgave him either. When Casey's needy side get worse Raphael complies because he knows it was his fault when Don shuts him out hes not as quick to push them to speak.Raphael knows he caused some scares himself.

Raphael knows Donnie gone through stuff he wont talk about he always is there if Don wants to talk or not. Raphael was in such a bad spot mentally. He was depressed deeply depressed he was listening to all his negative thoughts allowing them to rule his mind to points he couldn't. He believed how he thought. Deciding to do something so stupid like hurt his twin someone he shares a very special connection with.

And even if he knows better what it means to stick together he knows he can never truly make up for what he did. But he tries. It is part of why he got so close to his niece. Why he always has her side even on things he don't agree with. Raphael wants to prove he won't leave again. By trying to make up for it to Donnie through Ariel.

SK!Casey au: Raph is going to hold some regrets once the truth is out well at least to Raphael that Casey is the killer Raph is sort of regretting how open he was with Casey about everything even if it did sort of save his shell to express his views and thoughts. He regrets going to look for Answer more, because it shattered something for him. Casey to him was this goof ball good guy who treated him and his brothers so kindly. So how can this still be that same guy?

|Change|

"..i'm tryin' I am really tryin'" Rapheal was at his lowest more than once when his anger was so bad he almost hurt Mikey, his pride winding him a victim to Bishop, his depression making him do a lot of stupid shit. Raphael is trying to be better. Trying to change for the better if he is? Well he's not sure but hes too stubborn to give up. When Summer came in his and Casey life she was the light that he needed to start changing for the better, trying to be better about how he lets his mind work. Basically he's learning some self love and keeping to it.

SK!Casey au: Raphael, admittedly can be selfish sometimes he doesn't feel some issue should be his and his brothers problem when the death started Raphael didn't care often fought with Leo about it not being their issue to deal with. Raphael's tone dose change once getting a reality check twice. Once after seeing Buck begin one of the victims it starts to make Raph rethink a lot. That maybe there is something to the whole code of Bushido Leo is so all about. And then when he learned that killer is Casey? Lets just say there is bound to be more change for Raphael. Because he dose still love and care about Casey but how can he be okay with what Casey is doing? Not that he's getting much choice here. Casey isn't giving him that choice.

Even once Casey has him caught Raphael's not sure if he can just change how he feels. He's going to learn Love can be just as confusing as anything else. That emotions can change and be twisted even uwu

|Dreams|

"hmm I don' really dream?"

Raph is someone who doesn't recall his dreams all to well because he has narcolepsy, Raph's know to be night owl himself out late doing who knows what esp when he was going around as the Night watcher for a time. It dose add to why Raph's kind of just a grump over all. He feels rested after he sleeps but grows tried as the day goes on so it's not uncommon for him to be napping around.

Now he dose have other dreams. He dreams Summer to have a life where she is just loved and happy. He dreams of growing grey with Casey. he dreams of having his brothers there when finally dies hoping hes first to go. He dreams of just peaceful days laughing in the kitchen with Casey. It's all he wants.

CC AU:

When Casey asked Raphael to move in with him he asked if they were serious meaning the relationship. He was fine having fun but Raphael would like more, for all he knew Raph was just someone convenient or easy a chance to get their dick wet even maybe. Truth was far more than he thought he could ever have. Casey loved him and wanted to be with him. So Raphael said yes, and headed home but his trips out sort of put a target on his back seemed he made a pattern that someone noticed right away. And Raphael was caught and taken away. The whole time Raphael was captured and held he dreamed of the farm. He dreamed being with Casey on the porch sitting together as the sun would start to set. Casey's arm over his shoulders well they just talked on about the farm. Going on from the horses like Zombie to a cow or something he saw in need of a home.

Raph would wake up to the curl truth and slip back to that escape from his hell. All he wanted was to get back to Casey he wanted to return to the quite of the farm. He wanted to return to the peacefulness Casey gave him the clam quite of a county night the deep blue sky full of stars. Just like Casey's eyes he always loved the ocean but he was finding that a land lock area called to him more.

12

|Technology|

"Yeah, ain't my thing can' understand half the gibberish Donnie says as is. He's the expert." I find it funny how often Raph in 12 just breaks things to get them into cells and such because he just doesn't not have the time to wait for Donnie to like hack into. For being a ninja Raph tends to gloss over the stealth often. I do like that Donnie at one point tells Raph he's got it when Raph's ready to do it again even taking on of his sai, though more precise than Raph is when he just jams his sai into something to bust it up. Considering Raph is often shown opposite on the thought process to Donatello. Even Mikey seems to understand tech a bit better from how he learned to use cell phone signals to track the pizza boy, able to do the same so they could find Casey. Yeah Raph is safe to say technological illiterate because even Leo can understand to a degree what Don is saying once dumbed down a bit. Raph will pick on Donnie for it but doesn't stop him from just assuming Donnie will know either. |Flowers|

"Case could pick a dandelion out of the side walk and give it ta me and it would be my favorite flower."

Raphs feelings for Casey started the day Casey saved him from getting ran over by the train, Casey didn't have to is the thing. Him and Raph had been at odds the second they met. But Casey saved him. Raphael's feeling for Casey only grew from then because Casey much like then was always there for Raphael. Casey actively listens to Raph even when it might not seem like he is, Casey became somewhat of a safe space for the turtle he could vent towards. Casey never saw Raph's anger as a bad thing either likely because he deals with his own anger issues and it just felt nice for Raphael to have someone in his corner when sometimes its like he never did. His feelings just grew and grew till he realized what he felt was romantic. I honestly think no matter what happened Raph would struggle to confess because what if confessing made him lose his friend? Raph just got lucky there was excuses for why he wouldn't or had to. But after some time Raphael felt kind of bad for keeping it to him he thought maybe the feelings would fade? They only grew he found he loved the big things about Casey and the small things. He loved how Casey was loyal, Casey values friends and family. Casey someone Raph can spare with in a fight, share interest in hobbies. Casey got dark hair and deep brown eyes, and cute little freckles uwu Boy can't help it hes hooked.

Raphael might not always be the best partner he will and often makes mistakes but hes willing to talk them out and fix things. Because at the end he knows he loves Casey And he just wants to do right by Casey. He soaks up every moment with them patrolling or holding them at night eve.

|Regret|

"Mona, how I was to Donnie, how I treated Leo when he was named leader, how I treated Mikey for years, not better watching Spike, not noticing Casey was spiraling sooner, not being able to protect them..all of them." Safe to say Raphael hold a lot of regrets, i'm gonna dive into a few though.

Mona: Raphael got along with Mona pretty easily and he even tried to convince the others they should work with the salamadians but after their first fight they weren't willing to trust them. Raphael did make friends with her and yeah he did find her to be attractive but that was about as far that went. He had Casey and Casey is his whole universe. But he still nearly lost Casey even thought they broke up for a time, happy to see it wasn't true. He did keep his friendship with mona and it paid off well that they had allies in space. However Dregg soon found out about this friendship and used it. Mona betrayed Raphael's trust and called them for help Raph of course came to her aid like he would any friend he cares for. But then it was revealed to be a trick. Luckily Donnie and April were back on the ship. But he put Leo, Mikey and Casey all in danger. Raphael was pun intended shellshocked by it all. It took Casey to snap him out of it. But thing is? this has stuck with him it's why he never wants to talk about Mona once they got through everything. Mona showed him that he may want to protect those he cares for more than anything but somethings he can't protect them from. It's a near fear he has been made to realize and it keeps him up at night. I like to think he might break down one day and confess this fear. Something he is reminded of later when Giant big mutants attack them and take everyone away. He is able to get past fear and save them but the fear has very well been cemented in his head and he blames it all on Mona.

Donnie: Raph feels awful for what happened when Donnie got sick he was hurt with Don sure and even tells him when confronted but he feels so bad for not being there when Donnie needed him, even if Raph is going to be there when Don's illness and stupid gets the better of him Raph still feels that guilt. Don is his brother and well to Raph there just isn't an excuse to him not to protect them. That his brother and Raph would be lost without any of them. But even more so with out Donnie.

Casey Spiraling: Raphael is meant to be Casey boyfriend and best friend. He knew all of the stress Casey keeps from the others. How he broke one day because despite hoe he carries himself it was just too much on his shoulders. Raph knew it was because of his mother Casey strives to keep it all together best he could as well. He knew Casey went to see his mother just before he stopped responding. Sure Raph had no way of knowing what was going on but he could have found out he could have been then for Casey sooner. So Casey would gone of the deep end. It's why Raph promises Casey mom he'll do better, why he will make the same promise to Casey dad. Raphael wants to be there for Casey no matter what it is

Raph soon learns all he wants to do is just protect those he cares for, he knows that is a big thing to ask but he dose he has so little and he might not be able to fully shield them but he wants to protect them all with all he has. He doesn't care if that price is himself in the end. Foot!Casey au:

Raphael wonders if he had been far more open with his feelings for Casey even when they were together if maybe he could have stopped what happened. If he had shown Casey just how much he really loved them feeling it wasn't enough could he have helped Casey sooner? If Raphael had made his devotion better know, let Casey see it wasn't ever light heart that Raph's love for Casey burns as hot as his temper then maybe Casey would understood he really dose love him. That he loved him for real, it wasn't about anything physical only. Sure that was fun and sure it how Raph got his emotions through but he should have made a better effort to word those feelings. Even when he has Casey back he worries about it all.

|Change|

"Change is natural, all stuff changes." Raphael and Splinter's relationship wasn't always the best and it wasn't all that bad either. Raphael just really seeked his fathers approval but all he felt was that he was just wrong. That Leo was the favorite the better son and more. That no matter what Raph did no make how good he was in sparing and even art it wouldn't ever be enough for Splinter. And this did put some strain there he loves his Dad he really dose, why he freaked out thinking they had died during the kraang invasion. Raph biggest issue with Splinter is when it came to dealing with his anger. Raph just holds a lot of emotion in him and Splinter tells him to be a stone in river and let that stuff roll over him. B ut that isn't who he is. HE tries he dose but then the water gets to high and he feels like he's going to drown. Raph is fire he is meant to burn.

Raphael just needs to learn that fire isn't always destructive.

|Dreams|

"...yeah I actually don' sleep much."

Sometimes Raph dreams nice things about him and Casey and their little family. He dreams about them just being together, cheering Casey as his games and such. Hanging out with Angel or his brothers for get together even. but not always are they nice dreams uwu.

Raphael deals with a lot of nightmares, sometimes he just doesn't want to sleep at all. He rather skip it if he can or survives on small naps here and there. His best sleep is when Casey's around. He likes having Casey curled up against him, even if he doesn't sleep he least can doze well holding on to Casey. He keeps them close and buries his face into Casey hair. When he dose dream he seeks out Casey for comfort. Dreaming about losing Casey, losing his brothers, April and more. It's always the same reason because he didn't do enough and it plagues him a lot. So sometimes he fakes that he's going to sleep and waits till Casey out before he just cuddles in against Casey. Sometimes when he really bad he'll ling his fingers with Caseys and hold their hand through the night.

SF

|Technology|

"Uhg still no." I'm running out of things to say here XD Raphs and tech just don't mix XD |Flowers|

"...I kind got good with making paper roses."

And yes he dose want to give them to Casey uwu

Reason behind Raph knowing how to do origami is because of Splinter. When Raph was younger his anger was far worse and he often got into fights with his brothers so Splinter as punishment made Raph sit down and learn orgiami as a way to work through his anger but also because he would be task with giving what he made to who he owns a sorry towards. Because it takes a lot of time and effort to fold the paper just right it means Raph really has to sit and think on what he did wrong.

It can also be seen as a symbol of luck, becuase one has to sit with their emotions at the time it's like they are being put into every fold even Raph's love for Casey when he makes them hockey sticks and of course roses.

|Regret|

"Not fighting betta." He dose feel better after Casey talks to him when Splinter was take from them but it still sort of eats away at Raphael. He just wants so much to protect those who he holds dear his world is so small, because his world are the people in his life. Losing anyone of them is too much. All Raph had is his fists but sometimes punching just isn't enough. What dose he do when fighting people off isn't enough? It was enough to get Splinter back, it isn't enough to get Donnie to stop blaming himself for everything that goes wrong. It's not enough to get Leo to understand they don't have to shoulder everything alone it isn't enough to help keep Mikey from getting hurt it isn't enough to protect Casey from harms he never knew about.

If Raphael was a better fighter? its why he trains and lifts weights even outside usual practice why he likes going out on patrol with Casey it's kind of like Leo wishing to sharpen his own skills.

|Change|

"Eh I don' 'ike it much."

Raphael isn't on to take to change well he kind of finds comfort in things staying the same it makes it more predictable that way easier. But he also knkw that's some changes are good. When his feeling sfor Casey changed, when they met April. There are good kinds of changes of course there is. But it's the bad ones he don't handle well

When they lost Splinter for one. Thar was a change he didn't handle well missing even the smallest thing about his Dad like thier silly apron. Raphael acted tough as he always dose but emotional? He was a mess he felt lost aimless with out Splinter around sure they could talk and reach his sprit but it wasn't the same. He missed the way they patted his head or grabbed his face to force his attetion on to his father. Way he tried so hard to beat through swarms of bad guys to get things back to hiw it was before.

|Dreams|

"Eh I don' really dream. Dreams are for sleepin"

I have also gave SF Raphie a case of necolyposy uwu boy dosent really get that rem cycle of sleep which is when people dream. Raph dose sleep heveaily once he is out but he dosent ever sleep for long which is why he often is able to up and about with Donnie because well Raphael knows He's at least awake too so he likes getting to spend the time around his brother. Sadly this is likely when he annoys donnie most resulting in Don's revenge to teach Raph wrong. But then he has todo deal with Raph being an idiot later so really he's cause his own pain later.

MM

|Technology|

"Donnie might be a total weeb but he's the tech guy."

I mean outside his cell Raphael's nit much if a tech person still. As the other Raph's they just are not tech savvy so to speak. Dumb? Sort of but street smarts still even when Raphael's in the middle of raging out we do see him able to think on his feet when seeing the car circling donnie and mikey he did at least think of how to stop the car by hitting its break. Happily calling himself awesome for it after. Least when he has a plan often he don't and just either gose all in or decides they could just go home really challenging some 87 raphie here. |Flowers|

"Uh dunno guess rose, sunflower, hibiscus, lily? Thise are flowers? They are nice I guess?"

There is a reason I picked those. Raphael knew if able he would like to go to school so he could make friends later it's because he wants to join a team he just thinks it be fun to meet other people and such. Romance neber crossed his mind let alone his sexual preferences and what not. Even after Raphael starts to sort of get that intrest and such he dosent really know what label fits him. When he dose get intrest he dose know he likes Casey in that way at least Casey's nonbinary though so he's not sure if that really factors or not he just knows he thinks Casey's attractive uwu he likes all thier freckles and their dumb smile. Like most my Rpahs he likes Bisexual male leaning. Especially because Raphael took a major liking to any old movies they watched thar were about sports teams like Remember the titans Sunshine may have made him think about kissing boys as well.

I mentioned off hand he has a crush on the rap singer Drake as well but he don't know that how he feels. Much as much as I like to joke about it this idiot isn't gonna notice that he's romanticly intrested in casey either right away. Despite the obvious signs being there uwu

|Regret|

"Kind regert tellin' my brothers I didn' want thier faces ta be the last thing I see."

Raphael likes to play cool especially around his brothers. Mostly his brothers. Cool os not caring and being the bug tough guy. But deep down? Raphael loves his brothers so much. You can see how much he looks out to protect them with out a second thought even. This don't fit anywhere else I just feel like bringing it up I like to think Raph shell is still cracked thanks to superfly. So it severs as a nice reminder now.

|Change|

"I mean a lot changed now so guess 'hats cool?"

Raphael happy for the changes going on, mkre family is nice having other mutants around helps him feel less alone, less alien even. He gets to go to school and well I thinks he's friendly with some he still really only has April and casey as real friends Casey being his best even if they had a rocky start and nkt many understand how thier friendship works.

|Dreams|

"I dream 'bout fighting a lot. There's no problem there."

Raph, even tells the others he dreams about fighting but not so much actual dreams he has at night just something he felt would be love todo. He still has he rage issues he just full of it and he needs to work it out he dose try to keep it in check he just always feel mad but things like going out into the city, messing around on tje roof with his brothers anything hands on even dose seem to help he dosent really knkw why he so angry and he tries his best not to take it out on his brothers. He very easily could focus it on like Leo when he snitches on them instead he keeps it in and let's it come out more as teenage mood swings and attitude which has a lot todo with how he carries himself around and speaks towards others.

Fighting and sports is a very good way for him to work it out least tap into he as an outlet but this means he may loose control and go to far maybe even. With out meaning too.

That why he dreams of meeting someone who will just get him understand him in a way no one else has. He just feels so alone despite being surrounded by a family. He's not a bad person he's just overly excitable at times and very passionate about what he likes.