#you know what doesnt have this problem?
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so fucking tired of media with a super cool and interesting premise and all sorts of fun stuff going on just for it to spend half it's time going on and on about yet ANOTHER mediocre romance. Seems like every time there's a character who gets talked up as being cool and competent and maybe scary who isn't shown immediately, I get lured into a false sense of security until BAM! it's a conventionally attractive man who is often way younger than the way people talk about him would imply. And you just know, right away, "oh okay so our protagonist is going to spend most of her time falling for this guy rather than focusing on any of the actual fucking interesting things going on despite her being the center of those interesting things"
#i will never forgive stephanie meyer for this#this is about shadow and bone btw#why the fuck is the big scary general guy fuckin 25 years old#in all reality its not as bad about this as a lot of other stuff is#but its still fucking annoying#it wouldnt be so bad if the romances in this shit was actually yaknow#good#but it never is#it always bogs it down and weakens the characterisation of the characters involved#you know what doesnt have this problem?#the locked tomb doesnt have this problem#and its ABOUT love#it just doesnt waste half its time sputtering about “ooooh are they gonna kiss or not?”#if all the romance bits of a story could be plucked out and dropped into a different story with no changes then#well maybe you shouldnt fucking have a romance in therr at all
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finally drew clora and seb's kids!!🙌🙌
Celeste Sallow: OK THIS IS THE NAME IM SUPER PROUD OF BAHAHA because not only does the name celeste relate to the stars (in typical ravenclaw fashion...clora picked the name) but celeste sallow is also an alliteration. BUT, its an alliteration that begins with a C, which means clora gets to match with celeste in the form of both of their names starting with a C, whereas sebastian gets to match with celeste because both of their names are an alliteration/they're alliteration allies🥹ITS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!🥳
Lewis Sallow: as for lewis, if you've read my fic then you know that seb has a vendetta against names that start with an L bahaha, but 'lewis' was actually HIS idea. when celeste was born, seb wanted to find a muggle story to read to her, since clora's favourite story is ALSO a muggle one (sherlock), and he wanted to stick with tradition. so he ended up finding alice in wonderland, which he loved because of how adventurous and clever alice was and of how much she reminded him of clora and celeste (both personality and looks wise). it became his favourite for those reasons, to the point that when they had lewis, sebastian overcame his L-name hatred by naming their son after lewis carroll.
Houses: celeste could have been sorted into either gryffindor or slytherin, but ultimately ends up in slytherin because she wants to be like seb. kinda like how clora also probably could have been in gryffindor, tbh. as for lewis.....him being 10000% in ravenclaw doesnt need any explanation BAHA, just look at him.
Appearance: since clora has a tiny bit of veela blood in her, thats obvs passed down to their kids, too, and so they mostly take after her as a result of it. but there's still little bits of seb that shine through in each of the kids: for lewis its his brown curly hair, and for celeste its her complexion/freckles. and the fact that celeste looks so similar to clora only doubles up sebastian's stress/protective instincts when he watches her BAHAH. he's ofc still proud that she takes after him so closely, but seb also cant deny that he wishes it had been their SON that had taken after him instead, to keep her out of danger.
Celeste & Lewis: for celeste and lewis’ relationship, celeste is a super proud big sister, and treats lewis kinda like how seb treats clora. if there's anything that needs to be done, she offers to do it for him. and although she doesn’t have the patience to read stories herself, she loves playing outside and having lewis read to her in the background, and loves to act out/use his stories to fuel her imagination. and lewis makes sure to pick stories that he KNOWS she’ll like (which mostly involve heroic and daring feats of adventurers or pirates. he's tried to read more classic fairytales and romances to her a few times, but celeste always gets bored). she loves to draw though, so sometimes when lewis reads books that have no pictures, she'll draw them herself.
Celeste & Seb/Clora: celeste is a daddy's girl LOL and always tries to impress seb with the stuff she does, especially after hearing how HE was at her age, and so its half to impress and half because shes competitive that she wants to do the same/be just as good. and seb always gets a kick out of hearing her feats in the crossed wands club, or in defense against the dark arts class, and he also goads her on, telling her she'll have to do better than that if she wants to be as good as HE was. and whenever celeste gets detention, clora always stresses and asks why, whereas seb just tries to keep the smirk off his face. as for celeste and clora, clora also reads to celeste, and bakes and cooks with her, which is something celeste actually likes doing. not only because it keeps her busy and she likes to help and get messy in general, but also because she likes the fact that it results in good food afterwards LOL, and constantly asks when things can be taken out of the oven. also, for as tomboy-y as celeste is, she honestly doesn't mind/likes the clothing that clora puts her in and likes when clora dresses her up, bc it makes her look like one of the princesses from the storybooks, and it just amuses her more than anything else. once she enters hogwarts, though, its mostly trousers. but she still DOES like the occasional girly clothing.
Lewis & Seb/Clora: lewis is a momma's boy LOL and unlike celeste, doesnt care about duelling or of proving himself or anything like that, and is only concerned with stories and his future studies. so ofc clora had to show him sherlock, which he naturally loved. it even inspired lewis to want to write his own stories, so that he could challenge his own skill and see if he could, but also because he wants his mom to read them, and likes the idea of writing his own sherlock-esque story with equations and mysteries to be solved that he can offer her. lewis also wants to write a book for celeste as well, bc although he wont admit it, he basically wants to write a story tailor-made for her and her interests. one that he thinks will have everything she’d love in it. and part of it is genuinely because he WANTS to do it for her, but the other part of it is also for his ego, and to see if he CAN write a compelling story, and write something that would actually get THE hyperactive celeste to sit down and read it in its entirety (not to mention of her own volition). as for with seb, lewis looks up to him more than anyone else, due to how well-rounded he is and how hes so good at practical stuff AND studying, and he kinda sees seb as a main character/protagonist from one of his books, and uses sebastian as inspiration for his own stories. if hes stuck on what he thinks the dashing main character should do next, he'll ask his dad what HE would do, which results in seb getting very weird questions that he nonetheless is always happy to answer. also, when lewis is older and finally learns the full story of what happened with clora and seb and ranrok and rookwood, he writes their story in novel form, except he just changes their names/some of the details, and it becomes a best seller LOL. and i didnt know where to put this, but the four of them all read a story before bed every night, with lewis in the middle and seb and clora on either side of him. though celeste stands at the foot of the bed, basically doing a charade/mime show of what theyre reading, and putting on a little play to go along with it BAHHA.
OK thats all i can think of for now ive yapped enough��� if youve read all of this ur a real one.... ive also considered giving them a 3rd (and last) child, which would be a boy that looks exactly like seb, and seb would just be praying like please.....let this son take after me🧎♂️🙏 BAHHA
#much to sebs dismay celeste is probs gonna be an auror LMAO whereas lewis is gonna be a writer#seb once again asking the universe why their personalities couldnt have been switched....but girldad seb is made to suffer#and yes they are BOTH dressed by clora and her mom if you couldnt tell LMAO#just wait till lewis is out of that sailor fit...he gonna be a heartbreaker when hes older fr fr. bro is beautiful#also i can imagine celeste when shes older using her looks to her advantage BAHHA like noo...i wouldnt do that...look at me🥹uwu#sweet talking her way out of detention BAHAHA shes that troublemaker student that the teachers secretly have a fond spot for#and altho seb tells lewis to protect and watch over her in school he doesnt rly take it seriously bc hes still young#but once they get older and if celeste ever DOES have problems then lewis definitely would step up for her as her brother#but hed do it in a very conniving and indirect way...like finding out whoever is causing her trouble and hexing them or some shit LMAO#and nobody would ever know😇😇😇#celeste would be like I GUESS I FINALLY SCARED THEM OFF/THEY LEARNED NOT TO MESS WITH ME!!!#and lewis would just be like yea....thats probably what happened.#bro does not need OR want the credit LMAO#also hes soft for his sis so he supports her delusions like the good lil bro he is. lewis supports womens rights and wrongs. king#choccyart#celeste sallow#lewis sallow
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#you cant tell me raphael doesnt have this vibe#my guy has a problem and its name is tav#mf spying on tav at every moment even well enough to know what happened with the emperor#raphael#raphael bg3#i think hes just jealous tho#bg3 raphael#tav#bg3#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate
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Okay challenge mode. You are a therapist and Eridan Ampora from Homestuck has just walked right out of his intro page into your office. How do you fix him?
put him and karkat in a room with a pile of stuff and tell them they can't leave until they've jumped into it and talked about their feelings
#realtalk therapy doesnt work unless the person getting the therapy puts in the effort to make it work#eridan starts the comic in complete and utter denial that he's in need of help#so there's really nothing i nor any stranger could do about that#HOWEVER he does talk to karkat often about his feelings (and vice versa) and#the reason they didnt hang out during the game seems to be#1) they were on separate teams and didnt realize the teams were the same team until later on#2) by then it was too late and eridan had aggro'd all his angels#3) gamzee was deliberately keeping eridan away from karkat and vice versa (likely bc gamzee had a palecrush on kk)#4) karkat was too busy falling victim to his own insecurities abt being a leader to pay attention to his actual friendships#4a) eg. it shouldve been the time player doing the frog hunt with kanaya & not the blood player#like im not saying moirallegiance with karkat would have fixed all of eridans problems but i am saying#what eridan really needed was a friend who took his problems seriously and could see past his bullshitting#and karkat already WAS that friend - they just never hung out#so by the time the meteor rolls around eridan has spent WEEKS feeling abandoned anxious and alone on his death planet#and karkat has gotten used to not thinking about eridan too much#so karkat - who is basically eridans only actual friend at that point - isnt able to get through to him & eridan snaps#like the thing about sburb/homestuck is that it really stresses the importance of friendship and working together#letting each other help with each others' problems#thats why the smallest viable game is still two people by necessity#so when we see things like gamzee snapping or eridan snapping or vriska snapping#as much as these are the 'fault' of the person snapping they also need to be viewed as comprehensive team failures#the people who should have spent the game together didnt and the people who shouldnt have spent the game together did#vriska was allowed to bully tf outta tavros and nobody intervened#eridan was left all alone and nobody tried to help him#and everybody was mean to gamzee and nobody tried to connect with him#and you know whose job it is to make sure the right people are hanging out together? the blood player#and unfortunately our blood player was so insecure that he was doing jobs that werent his to do#im not saying pale erikar would fix homestuck but i am saying pale erikar is a symptom of things being fixed in homestuck
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AU where Sanzu goes to juvie with S62 after Kanto incident
57 dead, 63 injured
#you know - ignoring the angst itd be so fucking funny#tokyo revengers#tok rev#tr#tokrev#s62#sanzu haruchiyo#mucho yasuhiro#muto yasuhiro#tr sanzu#tr mucho#tokrev sanzu#tokrev mucho#tagging mucho bc itd be sanzus main problem to have to put up with lol#mucho still gets out earlier than the rest and sanzu gets stuck with the haitani shion mocchi and bonus south#im wheezing#sorry sanzu this is too funny#good ending: mucho doesnt die!#sanzus brain gets fried before he can try lol#koko still doesnt get caught bc he fled the murder scene early#sanzu was too busy helping mucho stand#sanzu 'what am i doing here pls get me out of here' haruchiyo#sanzu 'regretting his life choices' haruchiyo#sanzu 'how long do i have to keep the act' haruchiyo#sanzu 'this is torture. i am being purposely harmed rn' haruchiyo
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things from The Halloween Update that are concerning me more than i already am about Eddie:
his Frankenstein's Monster costume turning his face (and hands. ha, hands, like the hands on a-) half yellow half blue/purple like the clocks & Sally's door. that's fucking me up a little ngl
Eddie tacks "A bit of a moral conundrum-" onto his description of Frankenstein's Monster, who he's costumed as. which seems out of place with the rest of his description. he could've said "bolts" or "white streak in his hair" or another physical trait. nope. Moral Conundrum (one could also describe his costume as "two-faced"...). and the fact that he's dressed specifically as someone who was "brought back from the dead" makes me 👁️👁️. kinda reminds me of a certain set of artworks from Clown's tumblr a while back...
Eddie, despite his whole schtick being "bad memory", was the only one to accurately recognize Sally's costume as pedrolino from the Commedia dell'arte. could be a little 'inside joke', might be something else. i suspect it's something else due to his... ah... Everything.
#yk im starting to wonder if eddie's meant to have a naturally bad memory#or if something is purposefully fucking with em more than with anyone else#bc he seems to have these little moments where hes On Top Of It#kinda like moments of lucidity almost? hm....#eddie dear what have you seen? why are you Singled Out?#the wrist watch / his eyelashes matching home's (whatever the rounded things under the sills are)#his halloween costume / his memory problems / the fucking tiny secrets sprinkled all over his post office / his color being purple#hi eddie how does it feel to have main character syndrome#jesting! kinda#eddison edward eduardo edmund edgar edwin edmundo. what the hell is your deal im dying to know#wh speculation#welcome home speculation#homebogging#i wonder. i. wonder...#if eddie got Caught by whatever is out there at night#maybe he didnt know to stay in doors. maybe he realized he forgot to deliver something and thought 'better late than never'#maybe the town mailman is too important to simply Remove so he had to be dealt with a different way#or wait maybe someone saved him? wally perhaps? home? id(k?)#a worse memory so that he doesnt remember what happened?#a personal clock on him at all times so that he never loses track of the time of day?#an overactive fear-response to make sure he stays in his lane Despite him apparently enjoying scary things?#kinda sticks with the 'frankensteins monster' thing dontcha think? brought back from the dead? Stitched back together?#and the monster was an emotional sensitive character. like eddie. IDK idk im just rambling now
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Ride 774: Kiji, coming!!
Pag 1
1: Welcome, to the Emperor's throne!!
My aim is the double crown!!
Pag 2
4: Ahhh... you're fast, the two of you
I thought I could catch you for sure at 2km left
Pag 3
1: But it took me until “1km left”, yon!!
Pag 4
3: Ah!?
He
4: caught up!? Who....
Pag 5
1: who the hell are you!?
2: The two people in the lead are taking the curve and passing the sign that says that there's 1km left until the sprint line.....
Pag 6
1: No, it's three people!!
Three people passed the “1km left” sign!!
2: There's more people!? Since when!?
Wasn't it two people!?
What happened!? Who's that? That jersey-
At the last curve, suddenly-
3: It's not “who are you”....!!
Dammit!! I know!! This guy!!
Pag 7
1: There's one more person who we need to pay special attention to
2: Gunma Ryousei's third year, Kiji Kyuui
3: Ohh, Kiji? Who's that
Oi, I already told you about this in advance, Manami!! Come on, at the sea
Is that so?
4: What's your data about him?
5: There's basically no record of him in road racing
6: He's an..... “assassin” from the MTB world, huh
7: Is he aiming for the goal?
8: Yeah.... the goal...
That's right....
We should be glad
Pag 8
1: That he's only aiming for the goal
2: Hayaaaa!!
3: Dammit!! The first result.... so you're aiming for the sprint too!?
4: Since they said you were aiming for the goal I thought you were a climber like Manami!!
Pag 9
1: Let's speed up, Orange!! He'll catch up!!
2: I've seen it before!! This guy's jersey
3: That day.... he appeared suddenly on that bike with the thick tires
Pag 10
1: It's the guy who chased Onoda-san and the Hakogaku guy with the bouncy hair!!
2: Before that, Onoda-san said they were friends and that he's “strong”!!
3: He's coming to catch up to
4: mine and San-na's battle
Pag 11
1: He really is strong!!
Let's switch, I'll pull!!
Pag 12
1: Orange!!
3: They're in tune
You have amazing judgment and explosive power!!
4: When I caught up at the last curve
5: Even though they could have also accepted me and made me join them
Without making eye contact or calling out to each other, in an instant at the same time they made the decision
6: that they would “cooperate” to leave me behind!! Yon!!
You're really....
Pag 13
4: What's that
He's lowering his stance and pushing on the handles like he's about to dance....!!
5: Hayaaaa
Pag 14
1: You're really close friends!!
Pag 15
4: He lined up to us in one go!?
Pag 16
1: This guy!! Was it an optical illusion? Just now, I saw something like a cloud of dust behind me
2: Takadajou told us this
Be careful
3: I've been told that the power that a MTB rider can produce in a short time
4: is 1.5 times that of a road racing cyclist
5: This guy can match this top speed!?
8: Ah!?
9: Huh!?
Pag 17
2: In between!?
He came in between!?
Ah!?
3: You bastard, usually when one catches up he joins in the back
Pag 18
1: It's road racing theory!!
4: This guy doesn't know the theory?
5: 800m left until the sprint line!!
6: 1
Pag 19
1: 2
What's this- San-na, did this guy suddenly started counting
2: What's this
The sign for an attack?
3: 3
Pag 20
2: Alright, I recovered
5: Well then, I'll go
Pag 21
1: Ahead, yon
2: So it really was a sign for attacking!!
Who's that guy!!
#yowamushi pedal#yowapeda#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 774#and we're back finallyyyy#i hope watanabe is alright and last week's break wasnt because of health problems :/#anyway!! of i loved this chapter SO MUCH#Kiji Kyuui you cheeky bastard i love you#he arrives he crushes kabu and bashi's race-date he boasts and brags#and then he's like okay bye now you losers keep doing what you were doing imma go ahead#ANNOYING AF I LOVE HIM#hes annoying without even realizing it lmao i bet he doesnt realize it#'you must be so close!!" oh please they were having a moment and you interrupted them!!#btw it's so fckn funny to me that kabu and bashi simply decided to pair up against kiji lmao they got one look at him and were like#'nope we dont like this guy' afsgdasfd#im so sorry for them but also that was funny af#also i love bashi thinking 'this is basic road racing theory!! ah wait this guy probably doesnt know shit about theory ;A;'#kiji has no idea how road racing works and thats why hes so strong#he just does whatever he wants
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He can't have shit in this family.
#ffxiv#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#ocs#atticus and his ~100y/o wisdom#knowing this poor man is stuck looking like his old man or his --old-- man#and at least for my adven!zenos he has no problem looking like young solus personally#its primarily for atticus and in part for meteor- luckily his height mitigates it for atticus- meteor is just stuck seeing emet regardless#other than that I just wanted to draw his hair short and the proper(?) outfit I have for him right now#aka what I imagine him wearing when he's not lounging in a turtleneck or his light sleeveless gear#also this is tank zenos so he fights unarmed- buuut he also just has like three knives strapped on him just in case LOL#I also just enjoy showing him being proud of his apperance#I just find it a neat- even if possibly unintentional- character quirk that he seems to be very particular of his appearance#and also might not actually want to show any scars he might have? I always found it interesting that#he always has gloves or armor particularly covering his right hand and the one time he doesnt is when its elidibus#which yeah- I also wouldnt want to have to look at the constant reminder that youre being biologically nerfed so much#-that you have to resort to sticking radioactive magical crystal straight through your hand just to do a single technique-#my mad little blorbo#fascinating giant of a man who is very fun to write#but yee- that is why I draw him covering the void arm or using his blindfold as a scarf for his neck sometimes#also#the next time I draw this outfit on him- i need to remember to put the sun pin back over his heart again like it was for EW#that also lives in my head rent free v-v
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im seeing the pattern of being an atreus/angrboda fan (or u just like them) and having to go through this weird initiation process of: liking them in the game (wether its themselves, their relationship or both), then trying to find content of them only to be shocked to see a bunch of haters (on both sides but angrboda gets it the worst and thrud is often times oddly used against her), only to then get severely disappointed and realize u probably have to do a bit of contribution yourself which isnt bad but it sucks when its characters that are ridiculously hated 😭😭😭
#Putting the girls against each other for a dude is sooo tired and with them is completely unnecessary and makes no sense#“IRONWOOD IS TRAHS ITS 5 HOURS LONGGG AND SHES A PIECE OF SHIT BITCH CUNT” IVE SEEN PPL SAY THIS#Like what yall like but the problem is mfs get CRAZY when it comes to angie in particular i be like girl…?::?!::&/&!;!#then expect nobody to say smth like umm u good? Cuz the way u dtm over a vg character is concerning#Things have gotten a bit better but im just pointing out the pattern of becoming a A/A fan 😭😭#Im sure it is gonna lift by next game but it doesnt mean i cant get annoyed behind it still#This is def one the most mentally stagnated fandom ive seen and thats saying ALOT#We already know its cuz the dudebros want to be kratos so bad#you mfs will never be that man.#atreus#angrboda#god of war ragnarok#god of war#Gowr#Gow#God of war fandom#shitdom#Rant
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Thinking about Lestat seeing Louis’s eating patterns as a waste of his gift/himself while Armand gives Louis food that he literally can not enjoy or digest just so he has something on his stomach
#if i had to give each of louis relationship a theme loustat would be shame and loumand would be enabling#which are both really bad ways of “helping” a partner with an ed#lestats shame and anger tactics only make louis more resentful and less likely to eat#while armand having the little drinks and exotic animals and the human food dont actually deal with louis problem head on-#cus at the end of the day louis is still not eating enough#and i think they really exemplifies both of their trauma and abandonment issues#both of them came up chronically food insecure#lestat was put into the role of provider at a very early age and stayed in that role until he died/was turned#so for him rejecting what lestat gives is like rejecting lestat cus he doesnt have anything else to make him “useful”#and lestats reaction to rejection is anger and control so he tries to shame and control louis into eating more/human#while armand has been abandoned by literally everyone he loves up till this point so for him its like#ok i can make people dtay if i give them what they want and what louis wants is to not feel bad about eating and so armand does that#but it still doesnt get to the root of the issue which is louis having poor coping mechanisms for his grief and other emotions#like either way you slice it. louis is not meeting his nutritional needs. he eats drinks from one guy eats a fox or some other small animal#when he should be having like two dudes at least#and then he has human food which according to anne rice makes vampires vomit up their whole stomach content so...#louis imma send you to my therapist shes great#interview with the vampire#iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#amc iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#ldpdl#iwtv 2022#armand iwtv#armand#loumand#loustat#like armand gives louis food he cant eat just so he knows theres something in louis stomach even for a short while
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hitchhiker meet ratman
#ranfren#hitchhiker a#present day problem takeuchi robert#sickle art#i think robert doesnt have any personality left for hha to eat/absorb so instead of absorbing him hha like.. treats him like a pe#or maybe a protege of some kind.. hha Would know what its like to lack sentience / personality maybe theres some empathy there#'daww look at this poor thing here ill show you how i started to build MY state of being'#'that way you will learn :) youll be someone like me'#or somethinf#sorry i have thoughts and the way howdie fucks w the concept of sentience is sooo good
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*cries* olly, they could never make me hate you
#you people are forgetting he's FOURTEEN#HE IS JUST A KID#HE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING#HE'S A BABY#HE JUST WANTS TO BE SEEN#YES HE SHOULD PAUSE HIS EXCITEMENT AND ENERGY AND ASK PAISLEY WHAT SHE WANTS#BUT THATS THE OTHER PART!!!#ITS NOT JUST OLLY!!! PAISLEY DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE HER PROBLEM WITH HIM BECAUSE SHE DOESNT WANT TO LOSE HIM!#ITS LIKE HALF THE PLOT GUYS#OLLY THINKS HE'S HELPING PAISLEY DO WHAT SHE LOVES#BUT THEN HE GETS CAUGHT UP WITH THE IDEA OF FAME AND *BOTH* OF THEM BEING SEEN#AND PAISLEY DOESNT WANT THIS#ITS FUN EVERY NOW AND THEN BUT SHE DOESNT WANT IT ALL THE TIME#BUT SHE HAS A HARD TIME SAYING THIS TO OLLY BECAUSE HE'S SO EXCITED AND HAPPY AND SHE DOESNT WANT TO LOSS HER BEST FRIEND#cmon guys its A KIDS SHOW#both olly and paisley are just kids#they dont know nothing much#i swear the second paisley confesses to olly she doesnt want to do all this ley-la stuff he'll stop it right away once he realizes he hasnt#asked for her thoughts on it.#you guys are forgetting that they're best friends!! and they have been since they were LITERALLY BABIES!#they're just kids#lego friends#lego friends the next chapter#lego friends olly#lego friends paisley#dont attack me please
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jason thinks he should be dead (sometimes he thinks he IS dead), he's just what crawled out of jason todd's grave but he IS jason todd why cant you see that im still the same person. but im not who i used to be and you have to accept i'm different now but i'm still the same bc i'm still your son and your brother and your friend but i'm not 15 anymore (but i am i never grew up i'm still stuck in that warehouse watching the seconds count down the joker is still laughing and i'm still in pain and broken and bloody and beaten and the warehouse is everything and i'm 15 i'm 15 i'm 15) i'm an adult now i'm not a sweet lil daddy's kid anymore i've grown up (i haven't. do you remember when i played with legoes? when we went to football matches togetehr? when you drove me to school and called me chum and smiled at me gently and put your hand around my shoulder and squeezed? i loved you.) when you look at me all you see is who i used to be, you don't see ME, you just see who i used to be and i can never measure up to that, i can never be as good or kind or gentle or loving as the ghost of me that lives in your brain, but when i look in the mirror my eyes are dead like a fish's and my corpse is still in the ground and i'm not breathing because my insides are decayed and gone but i'm still standing here like a zombie, like a bad dream, like a fraction of who i used to be because i'm dead and i'm 15 and i never grew up but i'm somehow still an adult and how dare you not see me for who i am because i'm still the same but i'm still different but aren't i your son? am i at least still your son? you took me in and you loved me and you cared for me and you were my father my god my everything? i'm still your son. i'm still your son. i'm still your son.
Do you love me? Can you prove you love me? Can you prove i meant anything and can you prove my death was real?
(I love you. Please say it back.)
#my dc posting#jason todd#dc#red hood#...so how's everybody else doing!#i'm doing fine thanks for asking#sorry i was having thoughts abt jason and i feel like this is the only way i can showcase his mental state#cus like. theres contradictions and hypocrisies and everything stacked up on top of each other#all of it is him and all of it is false and he doesnt know who he is.#he's whatever's opposite of what you think of him#if bruce says he should never have been robin then fuck him. jason was a great robin and it was everything to him and he is not just a mist#ke.#but if someone else then says being robin was perfectly fine for jason and he chose it and it's his own fault he died#then no fuck that guy what the fuck is wrong with bruce to throw children out there in colourful undies and a cape?#etc etc like. DO YOU GET ME RN#ueghhj#this is only like 1% of what i'm rotating in my mind about him rn#jason loves bruce and that's the issue!!! that's the problem guys!!!! because he loves his dad too much to ever let go!!!!!!!#and he just wants his dad to say it back (to prove he means it to prove it's not too late to prove that theyre not too far gone yet)#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#i have jason todd disease. when instead ofbrain there is. jhason
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I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way
#a little creature#sometimes i look at the way i want marcille to be the closest thing hes ever had to a girlfriend but in a 100% platonic way and im like#is this what they mean by queerplatonic or have i just never had a dude best friend who wasnt like. a super fruity gay twink#anyway its gonna be as hard on him as it is for us bc he loves them both so much#the most important women in his life bar none#marcille probably slapped him when she got back tho. like she just saw his face and all the misdirected anger at him 'taking falin' just#rose up and burst again#its ok tho. you know she immediately broke down crying in his arms again blubbering incoherently bc she felt bad but also shes still mad#and she just doesnt know what to do with herself#the hardest part about this fic is that like. there are SO many juicy things going on offscreen#but. i have to breathe deep and keep calm and let them happen out of falin's POV#the ryoko kui method. what happens in the story happens and what happens outside can be explored in extras if need be#edit: also just figured out why ive been chafing a *little* bit against ppl assuming that it's the fear of falin dying that motivated#marcille's denial of her feelings so far#bc it's technically true but something just didn't sit right and i didn't wanna say anything until i figured it out#in little creature she has in part already realized that falin's passing is going to hurt no matter what she does right now#bc she's already passed the threshold of preemptive grief and sealed her own fate by how much she cares about falin#so it's not really... about that as much as it would have been during the canon story#it's just that. to acknowledge that she has romantic feelings for falin means recontextualizing their relationship in a way where#she has been the one hopelessly chasing while falin didn't realize/ignored her for the most part#and she couldnt allow that to be true both bc she couldnt bear to make falin the 'villain' in her love story#and bc she subconsciously knew the scope of pain would be too much for her to handle#so now my problem is. how do i make that clear in the fic from falin's POV without getting too heavy handed about it
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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
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New OCs
(briefly, humans and supernatural beings have to team up for building better relations with each other and all the supernaturals can shapeshift and take on human appearances but also have their 'original form'.)
OK so I was GOING to draw fanart today - I had a fun idea and everything! But health anxiety (and anti-anxiety meds) wore me out so I kinda .... slogged through OCs as a treat to me. I am going to go to the doctor tomorrow so HOPEFULLY it's all okay.
#my characters#also kite is the worst socially and says things he thinks are surely fitting for a human conversation#but ends up insulting grady with 99% of the comments and that makes grady not fond of him#but then grady is like super pleasant to others and doesnt know how to act around kite and flubs a lot too#its a disaster and the twins are like oh no this is painful#mr tengu that was so tacky you cant say that to a human#mr tengu you cant DO that to a human STOP BEING LIKE THIS#while callum is just like wow this is hilarious thanks for bothering my younger brother its adding character to his life#and kite is stressed because thats the least encouraging thing to hear ever thank you v much hes TRYING to adapt#but also kite isnt his real name and he doesnt know squat about humans BUT he knows they have the internet#and so hes like well the problem is i dont want to actually say my name to you all because what if i am Online (TM)#and so he asks for a new name and then is like he should name me - the tiny one who wants to kick my ass should name me#so grady is like ....... nooooo...... dont............ and then suggests kite bc he's done google research#and kite is a type of bird and according to wikipedia has some familiarity to tengu so therefore yeah#and kite is like !!!!!! DOES HE ! KNOW THINGS ! and happily accepts the slightly researched name while the other humans#are like grady stop that is bullying the poor guy leave him alone pick a normal name!#anyway not drawn yet but there is a human guy partner for the twins and he immediately is like perfect#i know which is which lets go out and explore the human world for your research#and they dont understand how he knows them apart so fast and none of the other humans seem to tell em apart#but then none of the humans are shocked at the guy who knows so the girls are like sir howst do you know#and hes just v casual oh right yeah younger identical twin sisters - i have Practice ! and they are endeared to him haha#anyway if you read all those tags ty#and yes in his tengu form he does actually have the long nose please do not be mad#i just dont draw noses normally and im too tired to practice rn so#i only drew the second one today anyway - the first pic was done a couple days ago but i didnt wanna post on main#but then here i am posting on main#im sorry
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