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fadingdaggerr · 2 years ago

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home

part one | part two | part three | part four

pairing: brienne of tarth x gn!reader

summary: every journey ends with you coming home | 8.1k

warnings: got s8 spoilers, canon-typical violence, angst, mentions of death/dead bodies (non-descriptive), injury, lesbians being lil gay creatures, making out, mini-epilogue-ish ending :)

note: tada, tis the end the the home series! thank you so much for the love on this little series, i enjoyed writing it so much. brienne holds a special place in my heart, and so does the skyforth now. god i gave it so much lore on accident. anyways, i hope y'all enjoy this last chapter. love ya

the battle of the bastards had resulted in tremendous loss for every side of the battle, but lady sansa was determined to get her home back. with her will alone, she brought the knights of the vale, littlefinger still willing to do anything and everything to keep her loyalty. sansa’s soldiers were still late, hundreds were dead, gone. rickon, her own kin. nearly one hundred skyforth, and wildlings too. the boltons lost more, sansa saw to that. you couldn’t help but admire her strength, she had grown from the ‘little bird’ as the hound called her into a bird of prey.

the move from castle black to the lands around winterfell had allowed for better hunting, as well as more space to spread out the village. the battle has left you with varying injuries, broken ribs and arm, lacerations across your entire body, but this meant nothing when it came to the loss of your men. larkin and brienne hovered over you for weeks, bringing things to you, taking things you held, offering arms to help you walk. my ribs are broken, not my legs! you had finally shouted at brienne, quickly muttering an apology. she was just happy to see your personality return after weeks of conversations that were meek and quiet from your pain.

brienne had felt selfish for missing you while you recovered. she missed your fireside conversations, your compliments, your voice, you. gods, you had several broken bones, injuries galore, and you were grieving the loss of so many friends, and here she was missing hers. she missed you and you were just outside the castle. she could only bear so many nights of this until she had forced you to leave your bed and walk around with her. you spent most of your time in your tent, not letting anyone in and only leaving when no one was around. this had been the first time she had seen you again.

sitting together at the fire, there was a comfortable silence. you had leaned your head against her shoulder, and she was sure nothing was better.

—

preparation for the long night was starting to feel like a lost cause, it felt like the only saving grace were daenerys's dragons, but you couldn’t admit this. no matter how many daggers landed in the bullseye, or how many arrows split into one another, it hadn’t felt like enough. larkin was training for hours on end, practicing with podrick and the others as much as possible, but brienne knew. she saw the look in your eyes every time he’d trained as of late.

“he’s not going to fight, is he?” she asks you quietly, keeping her gaze on the training in front of you both. the sun was coming down now, meaning the night training would begin soon, but larkin was an overachiever much like you.

“no. i intend to keep my promise to his mother, i’m not letting him get himself killed. he’ll stay in the catacombs with the others,” you reply, you’re stern in your tone but your rapid blinking gives you away. she knows that you’re going to feel bad when he finds out. you love him and hate to disappoint him, but you’re not sacrificing him, not a chance. she only nods in response.

you nod to the right, silently asking her to follow and she does, she always does. she can tell there was more you wanted to say, something you didn’t want anyone else to hear. when you stop next to a fire, she feels happiness bloom in her chest. this was your spot. you and her next to the fire, discussing anything and everything. it was a welcome pattern in her world, and one in yours as well.

you exhale deep breath, “i don’t want him to have to watch me die.” brienne’s eyes dart to you, she can see the tears in your eyes threatening to glide down your cheeks, but your face remains cold, unphased. she doesn’t know what to say to you. she didn’t have a child, she couldn’t imagine what you were feeling.

“you don’t know that you will,” she says, mostly for herself. the thought of you dying is not a welcome one. she thinks that she would kill death if he came for you.

“you’re right, i don’t know that i will, but i do know that it’s likely. he doesn’t need to see another parent die, once was well more than enough.” brienne almost smiled, she hadn’t heard you refer to larkin as your son, or you as his parent before. perhaps it was the impending doom that softened you to the title, but more likely you just stopped lying to yourself and accepted that you were a parent. something that you hadn’t thought you’d be or dreamt of, but something that you had accepted.

“then you’ll just have to survive then,” brienne finally smiles once she says this.

you turn to her, returning the smile with a faint one before replying, “i’ve got a reason to try.” your lips form a tightline, forcing you to keep whatever you wanted to say back into your mind. brienne pretends not to notice.

—

tormund giantsbane was a massive walking headache that seemed to follow you around. when the tents had been set up, extra tents were given to the free-folk. this worked well for everyone, except for you it seemed. being friends with brienne only meant that talking to you about her was all the man seemed capable of. he commented on her body, her skill, her eyes, her height, for hours and hours. was he wrong in what he saw? no, not at all. were you glad someone else saw her beauty? of course! but was the fact that someone else wanted her making you dream of cutting him limb-by-limb? oh, absolutely. he had yet to talk down upon her, so you were forced to listen to him until your ears bled.

“i wish to make babies with her,” tormund says bluntly. all conversation halts, everyone either looking at you in fear or at him in humor. larkin fake gags next to you, making ragnall chuckle. you elbow the boy while staring at your plate, biting your tongue to keep the venom from spitting.

“you were thinking it too,” larkin whispers.

“which part?” ragnall says with a quiet laugh. your arm reaches around to smack him upside the head, motherfucker muttered under your breath.

you hurry the rest of your food into your mouth, before standing to leave. you could not bear to listen to another second, killing him was getting too tempting. larkin asked where you were going, only to be met with a grumbled outside. you make your way through the snow to the targets, hoping you could channel your aggression elsewhere.

my woman, you’ve returned to me. center target. my blonde beauty. center target. do you think she’d like to know why my name is giant? center target. you pictured his face in each one. his comments made her uncomfortable, she didn’t have to say anything for you to know that. you lied to yourself and told yourself that was the only reason he angered you, you also tried this lie on ragnall who promptly told you he wouldn’t “work for liars and fools.”

“did that post do something of offense?”

you nearly jump out of your skin, hand over your heart, “fucking hell woman! warn me next time.”

brienne laughs lightly, “i tried, but it seems you were too heavy into quite the assault on those targets. what’s wrong?”

“i respect the free-folk, but god damn would muzzling that red one do the world some good,” you sigh out, it’s as close to the truth that you can offer, “he’s lucky he isn’t harmful in his words, that’s about the only thing saving his ginger ass right now.” brienne nearly cackles at your word choice.

“are you starting to regret having them move into the village?”

you shake your head, “not at all, maybe just him. the rest are normal people who don’t talk about who they want to ‘make babies with’ while i’m eating. cultural differences or not, who needs to listen to that over and over again?”

brienne’s eyes are wide as ever as she blurts, “making babies?”

“you’re biggest fan apparently has very big plans for your future together, it’s all i hear about these days,” you say as brienne’s face screws up in disgust and embarrassment. you can’t help but smile at her, finding the face she was making to be quite cute. she groans to herself, a muttered fucking gods under her breath. “i take it you don’t share his appreciation?” you joke, earning a smack to the arm in response.

“i’m only joking, no need for violence,” you both laugh, “what brings you to my humble and irritating abode?”

“i was going to get a drink, but you weren’t there. i was not in the mood to deal with all of them alone,” you chuckle and nod in agreement at her statement, “feeling even more proud of my decision knowing the topic of conversation.”

you cringe, hearing tormund’s words in your head again, “men have seemed to have only mastered cruel words and incredibly uncomfortable ones. unfortunately, i think your groupie may take the top prize for the second one.”

brienne’s face goes from playful to thoughtful, almost insecure, “i thought something other than callous words would feel better, but it still feels like mockery all the same. It’s just mockery with a goal of a quick fuck.”

you can only nod at her words, you hadn’t experienced her life. even as a noble woman of a respected house, she had been belittled, only her father saw her potential for so long. others only saw her as a fighter, the great brienne of tarth, the very same they would sing horrible songs about.

you take a deep breath before asking, “do you remember what i said the first time we met?”

“those suitors were fools?” she offers, “the whole lot of them, if i remember correctly.”

you smile to yourself, “yes. i’d like to amend my statement and say that men are fools, every last one. especially the ones who don’t see you, actually see you.” these words seem to render brienne speechless. she silently thanks the night’s darkness for covering her warmed cheeks, a part of her wanted to ask what you saw. her bravery seems to fold when it comes to you, and her question dies in her throat, waiting for another day.

—

rangers come back with news that the night king will be upon winterfell by sunrise. jon snow delivers this information to everyone with clenched fists and teeth. the king of the north spoke of preparations, orders given to each faction of his army, he spoke with house and group leaders to give direction for troops. brienne stood behind sansa, facing you. she watched as you listened to jon, eyebrows furrowed, eyes fixed on the man. she had never truly seen you in commander mode, only ever being with you in the calm between storms until now. she noted larkin’s presence, you had finally told him he would not be fighting once the rangers returned.

“skyforth archers will join the wall, swordsmen and riders will be on the ground. our climbers are archers and dagger throwers, they’ll be best suited in towers and high points,” you relay to jon, “i’ll stay on the wall as well, i’ll have access to my archers and climbers from there, section leaders can handle the others.” he agrees with your plan, glad he had waited for your eyes to stop scanning the air as you painted the layout of the troops in your mind.

“maybe this one is a real commander after all,” tormund jests.

“exactly, the commander, not the placeholder. unlike yourself for mance rayder,” you snap back as you rise from the table, a “follow-me” motion sent over your shoulder to ragnall. he follows with a silent laugh and a shake of his head. he looks back at brienne as he leaves the room, raising his brows before stepping out to follow you.

some hours later, a rider approaching winterfell was announced. no one else was expected, making everyone’s hands subconsciously hover over their weapons. a brown stead with a single rider comes through the doors, dismounting the horse and lowering his hood, his face finally comes into view. jaime fucking lannister.

you just about groan when brienne vouches jaime at the hearing. she trusted him, would fight with him, the same she said about you. what felt like a personal nod of trust, and for you, devotion, was stripped away of any real meaning. larkin stepped back slightly and held the crook of your elbow, “breathe slowly, commander.”

at his words, you realize your breathing was erratic at best. your mind finally came back to your body, clammy palms and ears ringing. you kept a straight face the best you could, looking more angry than calm, but it was better than the anguish that bubbled up within you. a moment you had held onto for months, one that comforted you in dark nights, ripped away. ripped away by the very person who gave you the memory. you hear the murmurs of bullshit and is she fucking mad? from the men behind you. the slightest turn of your head silenced them, the sharp stare told them all they needed to know. no fucking around tonight.

when the meeting was dismissed, you turned immediately, ale was the only thing on your mind now. you told oskar you were going to be alone, and to tell men to enjoy what would be a last night for many. you roamed the halls of winterfell, finding a quiet room with a hearth and some lounge chairs. a grateful smile for the inviting quarters passes your lips as you start a fire and sit on a couch while cradling your drink. this wouldn’t be a bad last night, you’d be warm at least. you couldn't tell how much time had passed, only snapping out of your comforting dazeat the door creaking. opening one eye, you turn to see ser davos in the doorway.

“apologies, i was just looking for a quiet place. i’ll leave you,” he says kindly as he turns to leave.

“don’t be foolish, ser. you can join me in my silence,” you say with a little waving motion. he smiles a little, coming to sit across from you.

“not one for the larger festivities down stairs?” he asks.

“we can celebrate when we win, i’d rather a more relaxed night if it’s to be my last,” you say calmly, death was not a foe. it was an inevitable force, the least you could do was greet him with slightly less malice. ser davos nods in understanding, he’d known death’s door, he was as well acquainted as you were.

another finds your small, warm sanctuary. this time, there’s no apology, no leaving. looking back you see blonde hair slicked back, blue eyes looking between you and davos. you nod to the seat next to you, and she moves over to sit there. she looks into the fire for a moment, eyes scanning the flames for answers to an unknown question before looking back to you.

“larkin was looking for you. i told him i would find you for him. did i, or will you find him later?” she asks, knowing that you’re still grappling with leaving him.

“he’ll find me, if he doesn’t podrick will find you, and here i’ll be,” you say, tilting your head towards her. she huffs a small laugh, and this makes you smile slightly. your prediction seems to come to fruition as podrick steps in the room, eyes landing on you. he steps back out and you hear a muffled told you they’d be in here before larkin comes in.

he perches himself on the arm of couch, leaning into you with an arm around your shoulders, “i’m sorry i was a dick earlier.” he didn’t need to say more, you knew why he had exploded on you. you’d never been yelled at like that before, let alone by him.

“it’s forgotten. thank you for coming back,” you respond, leaning into him as well. he wasn’t your son by blood, but by the gods would you love and protect him as if he were. you smack his hand as it reaches for ale, “one, one singular, cup. hear me, fool?”

you miss how brienne smiles at the scene, how your love for the boy was stronger than any need to uphold your image as a mighty commander. she saw how there were very few things that had lowered your guard, she had observed them all over the last few months you’d spent in winterfell together. larkin was always a soft spot, and most children at that. you would always squat to their heights, you spoke to them all like they were adults. you had an odd soft spot for lyanna mormont, who had said she thought you were one of the few decent leaders left in westeros. brienne liked to think you had a sort of soft spot for her. you never joked about her appearance, or anything she talked about. you always looked her in the eyes when she spoke, full attention, like nothing else mattered.

loud voices disrupt the peace you both found in this moment, only now noticing that both lannister brothers and tormund were now in the room. brienne notices now larkin looks at you, then her very briefly, before muttering something to you. whatever he says makes you swat him away, making him slightly topple off his perch.

as the night carries on, happier chatter turns to reminiscing on journeys and triumphs. you talk about your first victory in skyforth, then the first when you became commander. upon podrick’s request you spoke of how you went from fighter to strategist to commander, and the fates of the two men who thought they could easily disrespect you. brienne chuckles as she watches all the men in the room gawk and sit a little straighter in their seats, you just look at her, appreciating the sight.

tyrion discusses the victories of ser davos, podrick, and jaime. his eyes freeze on brienne, “ser brienne of tarth, defeated the hound- pardon me, lady brienne.”

“she’s not a ser?” tormund turns to her, “you’re not a knight?”

“women can’t be knights, it's tradition,” she responds dejectedly.

the wildling quickly says, “fuck tradition.”

you raise your glass, “that has got to be the most intelligent thing i have ever heard you say, tormund. damn right, fuck tradition.” tormund clinks his horn against your cup with a loud laugh.

brienne rolls her eyes, “i didn’t even want to be a knight.” you and podrick both look at her, faces screaming liar!

tormund leans into brienne’s space, you grip your cup tighter. “i’m no king, but if i were i’d knight you ten times over.” the intelligence apparently leaped out the window after one comment.

“aye!” larkin says quickly, “respect for the lady, you moron.”

you shove back a chuckle, “meathead is right, watch yourself,” you ignore brienne’s gaze, “and any knight can make another knight, it’s not just the king. is that correct or am i making that up, tyrion?” you point your question to the man next to davos.

before he can answer, jaime turns around, “no, you’re right. i’ll prove it.”

he unsheaths his sword, commanding brienne to the center of the room. she’s apprehensive, her eyes move to you without much thought. you’re already looking at her, your eyes in hers. she watches you with shaking breath as you mouth go.

you watch as brienne bends to one knee in front of jaime. her head rises to face him, azurite eyes looking towards him. her left shoulder, “in the name of the warrior, i charge you to be brave,” her right, “in the name of the father, i charge you to be just,” her left once more, “in the name of the mother, i charge you to defend the innocent.” brienne’s tears are visible from your seat, your own forming in your eyes because gods, they’re finally starting to see her. “arise, brienne of tarth,” jaime’s words feel golden, “a knight of the seven kingdoms.”

you can’t contain the joy inside of you that overflows as you see brienne become who she truly is, a real knight, the truest. you clap quickly and loudly, the others joining. she looks at you with watery eyes, and in this moment you can’t be angry anymore. she’s smiling, a real, big, toothy grin, nothing else matters now. you raise your glass, “ser brienne of tarth!” and a chorus follows, a sea of congratulations go towards her.

you go to fill your cup, eyes closing as you rest against the wall. you brienne look around, eyes following her path until she found you. she walks up to you, her eyes now on the floor. “ser brienne, fancy meeting you here.’

she laughs shyly before asking, “can we talk? away from all of them?”

you grab her arm and start walking, “of course.”

—

you reach her quarters after following her quiet directions she gives along the way. she immediately goes to start the fire, and you sit on the edge of her bed as you watch. you watch as the flames grow, and the light warms her face, the orange hue on her pale skin was one of the few wonders in your world.

once she’s satisfied with the fire, she sits next to you, “i have a question.”

you smile faintly as you look at her, “i’ll answer anything you ask me.”

brienne desperately tries to calm her frenzied heart as she asks what had been on her mind for weeks now, “what do you see? when you say they don’t actually see me, what do you see that they don’t?”

she watches as your face drops, eyes going to your hands that were now clenched in your lap. you swallow the cowardice that rose in your throat, telling you to just say she was a great fighter and leave it at that, but lying to her wasn’t an option, not when you’d likely never get the chance to tell her by the time the sun rises. you tear your gaze from your lap and bring them back to her big, blue eyes, shimmering sapphires begging for an answer.

she deserves to know. you swallow your pride, turning to face her properly, knees knocking into hers. “i see grace, in your nobility and your movement. i see strength in too many ways to count, but i see it the most in your honor. you are the most honorable person in westeros, as i said before, oathkeeper is a name fitting of both you and the blade,” you grab her hand, forcing her to look you in the eyes, “but i see more than just an honorable knight,” you smile at her title.

“and what’s that?” she says quietly, nearly a whisper.

“the most enchanting and gracious being, one so much so that it follows my dreams. you are my dream, brienne,” her hand grips yours tightly as you continue, “when i told you that you were beautiful, i meant every word. in my eyes, there is nothing in the world or beyond more fitting for the title,” brienne is looking into you with an intensity that tells you she’s deciding whether she believes you or not. you take a deep breath, “that is what i see.”

the knight’s mouth opens and closes, not words able to find their way out. never had you seen her so flustered, you could only take this shyness as confirmation of her belief, if she hadn’t she would have already been yelling at you. you release one hand from her grasp, with a slight struggle, but a quick squeeze and a brush over her knuckles finally frees you. a hooked index finger rests under her chin, the tip of your thumb hovering just under her bottom lip.

pulling her face in, you place a soft kiss to her blushing cheek, barely a centimeter away from her wanting lips. you linger for a moment, “if we survive this war, i will spend the rest of my days telling you everything i see. i swear it.”

before brienne can respond, horns begin sounding loudly. the night king had arrived.

—

everything was a blur. fire and smoke clouded the air. blood saturated your clothes, some yours, some not. men and women, dead and gone, littered the ground, but no tears fell for them. you ran across the wall, pulling a bow and quiver with you and you found a half-way decent vantage point. the dead climbed the walls, so you could only go higher and higher, firing as you climbed. your aim was rough, adrenaline and dirt making you miss vital shots.

a cold hand grips your calf, pulling you down with sharp nails ripping your skin. you scream in anger and pain, grabbing a dagger from your back and blindly stabbing at the walker’s hands. it was nothing to it, it kept it’s assault and you thrashed and kicked powerfully, nearly knocking the grip loose.

your eyes close as the pain grows, at least i had one hell of a last night, passes your thoughts. and just as you nearly take matters into your own hands, the walker drops, and your hands frantically grip the wall so as to not fall with him. you scan around, other walkers dropped to the ground, littering the ground along with your own dead. shaking hands and legs move on their own to carry you down the tower at a controlled pace, landing you on the wall. you peer over the edge, every wight was slumped against the castle, unmoving, truly dead at last. it’s over, it’s fucking over.

a firm grip on your arm shakes you from your mind, you turn to see a now one-armed dorin. you swiftly grab him, pulling him into your arms, one hand gripping his torn jacket, the other soothing his hair. you whisper questions to him, his arm, other injuries, but he’s too tired to give you real answers, so you just hold him.

his head rises from your shoulder, “the wights… they got into the catacombs. i don’t know how many remain.” your face falls, he knows what your thinking and is already ahead of you, “go, find him.” and by the gods you run, you had never run with so much purpose. you jumped over boxes and weapons and bodies, jumping over the railing, using it to climb down and drop to the ground. larkin was the only thing that mattered, your son, your boy.

you run to the catacombs, skipping stairs and hurdled in. but it was empty of life, only walkers and victims left. not a single body was the curly haired teenager with the scar across his cheek from his own dagger. you sprint back to the yard, desperately scanning for him. “larkin! LARKIN!” you scream as you run, “BOY!” you yell again with cupped hands. the tears that had been building since you saw dorin’s face were falling freely now, your sobs were choking you as you searched.

red hair catches your attention, sansa, by the gods she was alive. you sprint to her, a hand coming to her shoulder. she turns to you, placing her hand on yours, “he’s alive.” your sigh of relief makes another sob rip from you, your hands come to cover your face.

“he ran to find you i presume, the second the wights fell, he bolted,” tyrion speaks from beside the stark girl, your hands leave your face. you nod his way, passing him with a pat on the shoulder in thanks.

you continue searching until you hear a loud cry of your name from behind you, only three people truly knew it. you turned, eyes landing on curly hair and big brown eyes that were filled with held back tears. bodies colliding with a thud and nearly toppling over, you cradle the boy to you, kissing his head repeatedly, muttering i’m here, we’re alive, i love you. he’s shaking against you, bloodied hands seizing your shirt like you could disappear at any moment.

“where were you? why didn’t you stay with sansa? are you hurt?” you pull away from him, inspecting his hands, “what did you do? where else are you hurt?” you grab his face, his face clouded from tears that had yet to stop falling from your eyes.

“i had to stop them from getting to her, i couldn’t leave sansa undefended. i was beating it back just as they fell, i’m okay. are you?”

you chuckle, “i’m alive, and mostly intact. you didn’t answer me, where were you, why weren’t you with sansa and tyrion?”

“i was looking for you, or podrick, or brienne. i needed to know you were alive, had to see for myself,” he answers through a tear-clogged voice. you pull him in, rubbing his back, silently asking for an answer, “i found them, they’re alive. she’s alive.” a choked sob leaves you again, holding your son tighter to you before pulling away.

—

turning the corner into the great hall the next night fills your senses. boisterous laughter and conversation, the clinking of glasses, the smell of ale, wine, and smoldering fire. you watched as people laughed, threw their arms around one another, kissed cheeks and lips. all of it quickly faded, all the voices sounded like they were underwater, you couldn’t see anyone. it all evaporates, and all you can see is blonde hair and a black tunic, a cup in her hand, a smile on her lips. it’s as if a spotlight was upon her, drawing you to her like a moth to a flame.

podrick sees you before the rest, knocking brienne’s knee with his own. she looks at his with a questioning expression, only answered by his head cocking to whatever was behind him. brienne turns with a grunt, annoyed with the lack of straight-forward answer. her world stops, similarly to yours. the second your eyes meet, her mouth drops open, then forms into a huge, toothy smile. you’re quick to return it and pick up your pace, already having a place next to her and podrick circled the table and sat next to jaime instead.

“you’re here,” brienne says quietly, but her happiness is evident.

“so are you,” you respond with a smile, placing a hand on her knee and giving it a quick squeeze under the table before grabbing a cup and pouring some ale for yourself.

brienne’s eyes never leave you, knowing that your words and actions mean more now, she can’t seem to find it in herself to look away. she watches as you talk with the others, notes how you don’t really look them in the eyes and mess with your cup when you speak, how you close your eyes when you laugh, bump shoulders with her when she was the one to make you chuckle. she especially liked how you’d look at her when she’d laugh and your gaze would linger for a few seconds before turning back to the group. she came to the conclusion that nothing could ever be as exquisite as you smiling with your eyes looking into hers, nothing would ever be as warm and inviting as your touch.

after an hour, you silently chugged the rest of your cup, then slid from your seat, “i’ll be seeing myself out. i’m glad to have you all still here with us, truly. have a good rest of your night, gentlemen,” you turn and bow your head slightly, “ser brienne.” she stares silently as you spin on your heel and leave, a small smile thrown over your shoulder. a cough pulls her from your frame.

“you gonna do something about that or should we just give you a rag for the drool on your chin?” jaime says from across the table, an amused look across his face. podrick snorts at the joke, but brienne’s glare has him covering it with a fake cough, making tyrion snicker.

“i’m afraid i don’t know what you’re talking about,” she says as she takes a large sip from her own ale, “so drop it.”

a loud laugh leaves jaime’s mouth, “sure, you’re just staring longingly into the distance daydreaming about… nothing? i didn’t take you for a coward and a liar, interesting how time has changed you.”

she promptly stands from the table, “i’m not going to listen to this. goodnight, gentlemen.” and with that she leaves, not wanting to hear what they had to say about you, or how she was leaving the same way you did, not the way that would bring her to her own quarters.

she reaches your tent within a few minutes, she wasn’t long behind you anyways. she shook away her insecurities, knocking on the post outside the tent. her heart rate picked up when she heard a gentle come in from the other side of the curtain. she steps in, knocking the snow from her boots behind her. you’re sitting up in your bed, untying your own shoes, your cloak was resting on the back of a chair in the corner. you looked smaller, less imposing, but she knew better. her own cloak was stripped from her shoulders as she moved to sit next to you, joining you in removing her own boots. she didn’t plan on leaving soon unless you asked her, and gods she hoped you wouldn’t.

“i was wondering when you’d show up, i figured i’d see you in the morning,” you say as you pull off your last boot with a rough, man-handling grip. brienne chuckles and the grunt that escapes you and you reel back a bit from the force.

“i would much rather be here than in the hall with a bunch of drunk idiots,” she replies, removing her final boot with more ease than you had.

“i’m flattered, kind ser. you abandoned a many drunk idiots for a singular, much-less-drunk idiot, i should be thankful a knight of the seven kingdoms appreciates my company,” you laugh, laughing harder when she bumps your shoulder as she tries not to burst out as well.

she shakes her head, “i’d always prefer your company over others.”

her statement ceases your laughter, your affect becoming more serious, “i’d choose you, over all of them.” she turns to you now, eyes full of something that you can’t place, almost wonder, almost disbelief, “surely you know that by now?”

brienne’s long lashes flutter in front of her eyes a few times, you’re speaking so honestly, so truly. she has thousands of things to say and none of them were enough to describe the feeling growing in her chest as she looks at you. “i’d choose you too, no matter the cause.”

the air was so thick, you couldn’t move. her own gravitational force keeping you in her orbit, seas of aquamarine holding you close. your hand rises, pushing a lock of blonde hair back in formation, gently smoothing it down. your hand traces down, fingers tracing her left ear, gliding with a barely-there touch over the scar from your first encounter. brienne closes her eyes, bathing in the silent affection with a small smile on her lips. your fingers continue the dance over her features, hand cupping her cheek, thumb grazing over her skin. this prompts her eyes to open again.

your jaw clenches as you try to get the courage to say something to her. brienne notices, hand coming up to yours on her cheek, resting on your wrist with a gentle grip. she was so gentle, so beautiful. you decided in this very moment there were no words in any languages that could capture the sight in front of you, and you selfishly loved the fact that no one would ever get to experience this moment the way you do. her whisper of your name pulled you from your daydreaming.

deep breath in, deep breath out, “i have no loyalties to any lands. not the north, certainly not king’s landing, i was torn from tarth before i could ever truly experience it, i barely travel to the stormlands as it is,” you pause, anxiety filling your throat, but brienne’s fingers tracing up and down your wrist sooth your rapid heart. “it has taken me most of my life to realize that all these places do not matter in the slightest. they are just flora and earth, we certainly don’t care about that, we care about the concept of home, family. i haven’t a relative left, yet i have all these ridiculous brothers,” brienne laughs breathily at your words, “and though he is not of my blood, i have a son of nearly sixteen. i have the family bit, but i realize after five and a half fucking years, that i finally found my home and i foolishly let her walk away, so i decided i would follow her to my death, if that is what the fates had in store for me.”

you didn’t realize tears had escaped your eyes until brienne’s hand moved to wipe them away, before letting it fall to the curve where your neck meets your shoulders. “you… you are utterly mad,” she says, but you can feel the adoration in her words, making you grin and sniffle away your tears. “gods, you are utterly mad and irrational and impulsive, and apparently have a death wish,” she takes a deep breath, “all this, yet every single night i dreamt of finding you again and never leaving. i dreamt of having a different oath all together, one that swore me to you until my heart stopped beating.”

your free hand rises to brienne’s jaw, hers rests on your thigh. time seems to for you both, taking in each other’s words. she fills your senses, her touch was so inviting, her eyes were hypnotic and deep, pulling you in like tidal waves to the sea. telling her you loved her would never suffice, it was enough, it didn’t quite reach the depth of your devotion. only one thing seemed fitting.

you move from your seat on the bed, her hands fall from your skin. lowering yourself to one knee, looking into her confused eyes. one arm behind your back, one resting on her knee, “ser brienne of tarth, i swear by the old gods and the new to stay by your side, no matter what may happen in our world or in rest of it. i will defend your honor and self, and with complete devotion i will pledge my life to yours, if you will have me.”

her hands go from her lap to cradle your face, moving to kneel on the floor beside you, “only if you’ll allow me to do the same for you. i swear by the old gods and the new, i will protect and defend you, you and your boy. devote myself to you, heart and mind.” heart and mind, heart and mind.

you instantly pull her in, lips crashing together. nearly six years of longing, dancing around each other, gone the second she kisses you back. your lips move frantically together, all desire and love. you grip the front of her tunic, keeping her flush against you as her hands hold your face closer. she’s so soft, her lips, her hands, and her gods her tongue. she was addicting, but nothing compared to the noises that came from her as you ran your hands over her stomach under her tunic. you wanted, needed more of her. she had become your life source, the hole in your chest had completely disappeared, filled with only brienne.

the knight was on cloud nine. she felt drunk off of your lips, more than alcohol had ever affected her. your hands against the skin of her abdomen had her reeling, nearly moaning at your touch alone. she had dreamed of this more than she could say, imagined the feel of your lips, how they’d feel against her own, her neck, her chest. she can only pull you in closer, toppling you both over onto the floor, but she doesn’t let this deter her. she pulls you back in, feeling you smile against her lips as you straddle her waist, one arm holding you up a bit as the other holds her face. she greedily lets her hands run down your body, lightly squeezing your thighs and hips over your clothes, running her hands along your frame. you’re real.

oxygen is less important than you and your hot mouth, much less than your tongue tracing the scar on her lip. your kisses slow much to her displeasure, you pull away but keep your eyes closed. you place a feather light kiss to her lips before pulling away, dropping to hide your face in her shoulder. you hear her breath hitch when you place a gentle kiss to the skin of her neck, only allowing yourself the one for now. her arms wrap around your waist, holding you close, loving the weight of you on top of her. it was warm, grounding.

you speak into her, “you realize you’re stuck with me now, right?”

she chuckles, the vibration of her chest making you smile, “you say it as if that wasn’t my intention.” your head rises from her shoulder to press a sound kiss to her lips, as you pull away she speaks, “are we going to stay laying on the ground?”

it’s your turn to laugh, “depends. if we get up, are you staying with or leaving me?”

brienne’s hips lift and turn, switching your position so she’s now on top of you, strong arms hold her just above you, “how foolish would i be to leave you?” she dips down to kiss you again, and again, then once more for good measure, “we won’t find out.”

you find that laying in your bed with brienne is now your new favorite experience. you lay against her side, her hand drawing invisible patterns on your lower back under your shirt. your own fingers were gently tracing her neck and down to her collarbones, following patterns of faint freckles that lost their vibrance in the cold climate and low sunlight of the north. the string up her tunic was right there, begging you to untie the top of her shirt to follow the freckles of her chest. twirling one of the laces in your hand, you look at her with a silent question, only receiving a silent nod with wide eyes in return.

brienne’s mind felt like it was stuck in a trance, your soft touch was mesmerizing, the occasional soft kisses to her cheek and jaw were clouding her every thought. your fingers slowly, gently untied the top laces of her tunic, permission-seeking eyes looking into hers with each pull of the string. when you had gotten to her sternum, you ceased your movements, then slowly dragged your finger back up to her face. she grabs your hand, bringing it to her kiss-swollen lips and presses a kiss to your knuckles. your eyes sparkle at her action, and you can feel your face warming.

brienne’s overwhelmed by the blatant love for her that swirls in your eyes, her hand drops yours to grab your face, pulling you to her lips once again. she couldn’t get enough of your lips against hers, arms wrapped around you to keep you close. she whines as you suddenly pull away from her, but she immediately takes it back as soft kisses dance down her cheek, over her jaw, dipping to her neck. these weren’t kisses of lust, she was sure of it, but ones to let her know how much you cared. she was lost in her bliss, that she barely hears your mumblings through the fog. so beautiful as you pass over her collarbones, gods i adore you before you press a kiss at the center of her chest. you quickly kiss your way back up to her lips, greeted welcomingly by her tongue and smile. she surprises even herself by pulling away first this time.

her words tumble from her mouth, “you are mine, and i am yours.”

your smile grows quick and wide, her words going straight to your heart and into your soul. “there’s nothing i’d rather be,” you whisper, cuddling your face into her neck once again.

—

the following weeks had resulted in the death of daenerys targaryen, first of her name. jaime had left two days after the long night, riding to king’s landing for cersei, both lost beneath the rubble of the red keep. brienne said nothing, anger of his betrayal and the sadness of his death battled each other until she sobbed in your arms after a couple days of holding it all in. the leaders of the remaining houses elected bran stark as the king of the seven, now six kingdoms. the north was her own kingdom, as it had long fought to return to.

the small council was formed, tyrion remained hand of the king as punishment for the conspiracy to kill daenerys. samwell tarly was grand maester, lord bronn the master of coin, your friend ser davos as master of ships. your brienne was appointed as the lord commander of the king’s guard, which you had expected, but still kissed her excitedly when you were alone after hearing the news.

today, she had you walking with her, side-by-side in her golden armor. she had only told you that your presence had been requested by the king, nothing more. larkin was trailing behind you both, watching the way you interacted, he most definitely noted the lack of awkwardness that had previously surrounded you both.

entering the council room, you bow to bran, “good morning, your grace.”

“good morning, commander. lord commander,” he nods to each of you, “larkin.”

the boy’s head pops up, curly bouncing, “hello, your grace.”

“has ser brienne told you the reason for your summons?” bran asks.

“no, your grace. she’s been quite tight-lipped despite my pestering,” you jest.

“in the formation of my small council, i seem to have three seats available. from what i’ve been told, you have quite the number of little spies around the kingdoms,” your eyes shoot to brienne at the king’s words, “completely unnoticed, well-managed. not even varys detected their presence, which is no small feat.”

you clear your throat, “thank you, your grace. they were only here to alert me of any major changes so that we could move accordingly, stay out of battle areas.”

“they’ve done well,” bran rests his hands on the table, “i’d like to offer you a seat at this council, as my master of whispers. i trust you’ll be honest and loyal in what is reported to you, i have been told in great detail of your leadership.” brienne closes her eyes momentarily, already knowing you’ll have something to say about this later.

through wide eyes and a shaky voice you respond, “i’d be honored to accept your offer, your grace. thank you, i will serve you loyally.”

“i know you will, you’re all dismissed.”

walking out, larkin is practically bouncing off the walls, “master of whispers, the master of whispers. this is insane, this is so amazing. can i go tell everyone?”

you laugh at him, “please do, i have something i have to do here.” he’s already gone before you’re fully done speaking, you shake your head laughing more.

brienne speaks up from beside you, “what is it that you have to do here?”

you scan the hall before grabbing her arm and bringing her down a corridor. you push her against a wall out of sight from the world, and tug her to your lip hurriedly. pulling away, you breathily say, “i love you.” she tries to pull you back in but you push her back, “uh-uh, that’s all you get. price for not preparing me for that, you ass.”

she laughs heartily, “i wasn’t supposed to tell you, it was the king’s orders!” she kisses your cheek as you roll your eyes at her, “i love you too, by the way,” another peck to the cheek, “incredibly so.”

you lean into her lips, not being able to stay away. you mumble against her, “i’m holding you to that.”

let me know if you guys would be interested in more skyforth!reader, i actually really love writing about it! feedback is appreciated as always my little queers

tag list: @lord6-6fandom @fishyikes @soulflame6 @machi-avelli @thoroughly--confused @the-bagel24 @one-pining-queer @naraly0808 @camilapc08 @senzafine6 @slightlymalicedme @another-unoriginal-username @eliscannotdance @jodie-in-a-box @yuilesbn @friskyfisher

#brienne of tarth x reader #brienne x reader #brienne of tarth #gwendoline christie #game of thrones #larissa weems

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lab-trash · 1 year ago

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So, uh, I was reading my Milton x Jack google doc, and I came across this. And I'm pretty sure I haven't posted it. So here ya go. And it's a long one, so strap in.

SHIP QUESTIONS

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet? - Jack kicked ass on Milton’s behalf

What was their first impression of each other? - Jack thought Milton was sort of dorky-seeming. That he would like to be strong, but never had really the real opportunity to do it with his skinny little bones and muscles. - Milton obviously was extremely impressed with Jack, no surprise there. We see it. We know it.

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together? - I think that Mika would see it like… so quick. She would pretend she thought they were already dating just to nudge them along.

Who felt romantic feelings first? - Jack. I am 100% on the side that Jack was a complete mess about his feelings for Milton while Milton had no clue that either of them were queer • Jack had a big ol’ gay crisis, fite me

Did either of them try to resist their feelings? - Absolutely, both of them. Like, we see it in the show; Jack has the most internalised homophobia a man has ever had. Like, he looks so uncomfortable when he’s with Kim, but like he’s obligated to, y’know?

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think? - Telling Jack: He’d deny it, he would flat-out deny it. - Telling Milton: I feel like he’d get really confused and flustered about it.

What would their lives be like if they had never met? - As we see in the show, it is not pretty. But I also chose to believe that it would actually not at all be like that. - I mean, come on, even if Jack didn’t join Wasabi, I don’t think he’d turn into a black dragon. He literally hates his cousin’s morals so much, and he’s a black dragon. I know that Kai became a black dragon only halfway through the show so if Jack hadn’t become a Wasabi then maybe Kai wouldn’t become a black dragon, but they still have the same morals. - I think it’d be a lot more like Kickin’ It On Our Own. - Jack would become committed to skating, a skatepark would’ve really been built at Jack’s petition and Kim would’ve never found the vole bc they weren’t friends. - Milton wouldn’t have dropped out of school and become whatever tf he was in the wonderful life episode, he would’ve switched to Swathmore. • Note to self, write a version of the Swathmore AU where they don’t meet until Milton goes to Swathmore.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go? - Milton. I feel like there are multiple points where it could happen, but Milton is always the one to start it. Here are some of my favourite points for their relationship to start.

Wrath of Swan. Milton comes back after dropping off Carrie and they dance and they’re gay.

My Left Foot. Milton feels all sort of warm that Jack is encouraging him to quit football if it makes him happy and Milton kisses him before going out onto the field. They don’t talk about it until the after-party

Milton claims that kiss is the only reason he made that goal

New Jack City. This is the one with Carson (BooBoo Stewart) if you don’t remember. After the fight, Milton approaches Jack saying that he feels guilty and that he couldn’t believe that he didn’t trust Jack before considering his feelings. This one is more of an accidental reveal

You may also remember that as the episode where Milton slapped Jack’s ass. That has nothing to do with the episode choice, I just felt like mentioning it. I don’t think they’re into that stuff, but I do think it made them both feel awkward in a flustered way.

Kickin’ It On Our Own. Milton admits that he didn’t really like continuing his life without Jack in it.

Meet the McKrupnicks. I don’t even know exactly how it would happen, I just like the idea of it.

Two Dates and a Funeral. Milton takes Jack’s hand on Mount Seaford and it snowballs from there.

Mama Mima. Milton apologises for causing all sorts of drama during the news thingy.

School of Jack. After the show, instead of hugging, Milton and Jack kiss.

The Return of Spyfall/The Boys are Back in Town. Grey is really observant about Milton and Jack’s feelings about each other and peer pressures Milton to ask him out. It works.

RV There Yet? Milton yells a love confession off the cliff before he knows Jack is alive.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like? - Yes, but I feel like it’d be often interrupted by Rudy, Jerry, Phil, Joan, etc.

What was their first kiss like? - Oh boy, was it awkward. Their redo was better, and they consider that their first.

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)? - I’d like to think they were each other’s first boyfriends. Not their first relationship, but first boyfriends specifically.

What’s their height difference? Age difference? - I don’t think they have much of a difference between those things. Like, they have a size difference, since Jack has more mass, while Milton is kind of just a stick man.

What’s their relationship with each other’s families? - Jack’s mom is definitely happy that Milton is Jack’s partner, she likes him very much. Milton gave her his tamale recipe and she made a spicier version for her and Jack (it’s cannon Jack eats spicy food without even flinching lmao) - It is my personal belief that Jack doesn’t really see his dad, so I’m skipping past his dad’s opinion on Jack - Milton’s dad is trying his best to be an ally, so he is automatically supportive of their relationship albeit a bit awkward. He does like that Jack protects Milton though. - Milton’s mother is… Well, she either doesn’t know their dating and approves of their friendship, or she knows their dating and doesn’t bc she’s homophobic imo. - Jilian likes Jack. She definitely likes messing with him in regards to Milton, who we’ve seen she’s very protective of, but she does like Jack. Jack is mildly afraid of her, for good reason. - The McKrupnicks all like Jack, it’s very much one of those like… when he enters the room, they’re like “Jack!🍻”

Who takes the lead in social situations? - Jack. Well, most of the time. If it’s regarding their relationship, then it’s Milton, as he’s much more comfortable with his sexuality than Jack is.

Who gets jealous easier? - I think it’s about the same. But it’s different kinds of jealousy. Jack gets like… jealous in a sad possessive way, while Milton gets jealous in an anxious way. Does that make sense? - Like, we see him get jealous of Carson and his friendship with the Wasabi Warriors, and he doesn’t really get possessive in an angry ‘mine, only mine,’ way, he gets jealous in a ‘but… mine… ;(‘ way. Milton is afraid Jack will leave him, and I’m counting that as jealousy.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear? - I think that neither, for the most part. Jack is way too flustered to do that, in public or not, and Milton is afraid of getting caught. But sometimes he isn’t. And it is a mess for Jack.

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first? - Jack, but mostly because Milton didn’t want to push Jack to say anything.

What are their primary love languages? - I think they’re both cuddly bitches, but Jack also likes giving gifts and casual praise.

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines? - Both, but like… as a joke. They tell each other pick-up lines for fun and laugh at them.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA? - They cuddle as often as they can, even during the beginning of their relationship, though it’s usually private. - During the beginning of their relationship, they absolutely do not engage in PDA because Jack feels bashful at even the idea of that, but once they get into the later months of their relationship, you’ll pretty much not see them not touching each other. • Jerry complains about it a lot; calls them clingy.

Who initiates kisses? - Milton at first, then Jack, then both. Most often, rather.

Who’s the big and little spoon? - They trade because they both have weird relationships with their masculinity.

What are their favourite things to do together? - Karate, obviously. But they also enjoy bowling. And sometimes Jack will play guitar and Milton will sing. - Jack also makes sure to be in every Swords and Magic game once they start dating.

Who’s better at comforting the other? - I think Milton for Jack, but that’s mostly because when Jack has lows, they’re really fucking low, meanwhile Milton is used to the hills and valleys and doesn’t really need to be comforted because he’s already got coping mechanisms.

Who’s more protective? - Jack 1000%. Like, do I even have to explain?

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection? - Milton prefers physical. Jack prefers receiving physical, but likes praising Milton any chance he gets— especially when/since people push him around.

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise? - I don’t know, I haven’t thought of it. But Jack’s favourite song ever is Nowhere to Go because Milton sings it.

What kind of nicknames do they call each other? - Milton has a habit of just varying Jack’s name. So like Jack-Jack, Jackie, Jackson, Jack Attack, etc. - Jack calls Milton regular pet names + kitten. • No one else is allowed to call Milton those things.

Who remembers the little things? - Jack, he likes remembering little details about Milton’s life and hobbies.

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes? - I feel like it’s just sort of something that’s brought up casually. Milton would bring it up, but they’d decide on it together.

What’s the wedding like? Who attends? - Milton plans their wedding, obviously. It’s awesome. Jack nearly cries during their vows. - The Wasabi Warriors (and the honoraries), Izzy Gunnar, and some of their family.

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like? - I think they’d foster kids, and consider Sam like… their nephew.

Do they have any pets? - I love the idea of them having a rabbit.

Who’s the stricter parent? - Milton.

Who worries the most? - Jack

Who kills the bugs in the house? - Whoever doesn’t spot it. The person who spots it is in a stunned state, so the other has to swoop in.

How do they celebrate holidays? - They usually like to just spend time together, since they’d both be off work. For things like birthdays and christmas, I think they’d have both a private celebration and one with the Wasabis.

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning? - Hmmm… Okay, I think that they’d be the sort of couple who both get up and be productive pretty quickly. But on days when they’re supposed to be productive and he just doesn’t feel like it, I feel like Jack would ask Milton back to bed, and on days they have off from work, Milton would ask Jack back to bed.

Who’s the better cook? - Every urge to say Milton, but that one episode where he bakes that cake has me torn, but I have to remember Invasion of the Ghost Pirates. So Milton can cook, but Jack has a weird secret talent for baking. He doesn’t like doing it, but if Milton asks real sweet-like, he will.

Who likes to dance? - I have not watched the show in a hot minute, ngl. So I’m gonna say that I can be totally wrong on this, but I feel like they both do, in the comfort of privacy. But I like the idea of them sort of just swaying together while Milton is cooking, or when they’re tired.

#kickin it #mack #jack x milton #jack brewer #milton krupnick #milton krupnick x jack brewer #jack brewer x milton krupnick #i nearly posted this to my musical theatre blog #that would've killed me i think #disney #disney plus #disney show

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trashlama · 2 years ago

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Maybe hcs on yandere rise Donnie in a romantic way who falls for big mama assistant who praises his work ~

Donnie knows it’s wrong , but as Mikey always says the heart wants what it wants

Which leaves to Leo and Raph to kindly tell him he’s being rash , ridiculous, not thinking clearly she’s working for the enemy, she gonna end up using you .

Donnie doesn’t care tho , doesn’t he deserve to be happy , rewarded for saving New York , the world countless of times !

Reader better prepared herself there’s a storm coming , one she not prepared for ~ 😈

Donatello x Big Mama Assistant Reader? I gotcha ya'

At this point in the game Donatello is pretty used to people trying to take advantage of him. Purple Dragons, Big Mama, Master Splinter— basically anyone who throws the dude a compliment because they want to take advantage of him for his tech.

He's weak for that ✨praise✨

Despite being a genius intellectually, emotionally Donatello is easily manipulated into doing things. Like with the Purple Dragons and Master Splinter Donnie is eager to impress those he wants respect/praise from. Believing that if he gives/shows them how great he— his tech is they'll stay. They'll need him. Even if it's not exactly for him. As we find out in Donnie vs. Witch Town.

Praise is Donnie's form of reassurance that he is valued. Needed. To him aside from his tech he believes he doesn't bring anything to the team.

Soooo Donnie crushing hard for one of Big Mama's assistants because they compliment him? Sure I can see that.

Especially if you're literally just feeding his ego so you can retrieve some Intel for Big Mama to use against the Mad Dog's/or to her own personal advantage. Though I guess what you gotta be careful about is what happens when you ghost a turtle who is obsessed with you? Well you might just need to find out.

Sorry if it's a little OOC-ish, I rewrote this like ten times, initially with just head cannons, and then a one shot draft(several). Buuutt I kinda hated all of them sooo I posted the one I liked the most.

Probably should've re-read this more but I got work in the morning...

This takes places some months after the movie. Also check out the author's notes at the end for more!

I hope you guys enjoy it!

++++++++++++++

Fuck maybe Raph and Leo were right....

This might've been a bad idea...

Donatello was a prideful turtle. He didn't like admitting when he was wrong but, in this case scenario standing here under the beating lamps of Big Mama's Battle Nexus arena ten rounds into a seemingly endless fight. Donatello was starting to have second thoughts about his choice of just strolling up to the New Grand Nexus Hotel and negotiating with Big Mama. Somehow he should've anticipated this outcome. The jorogumo is notorious for adding twists to her deals. Especially when it came to her Battle Nexus. Nothing is as it seems with that british demon lady.

However somehow despite every rational bone screaming in his body to call off this arrangement, the possessive creature caged between his ribs refused. It wanted You. Donatello wanted You. The Yuki-Onna who strolled into the mutant's life all those months ago and infected his brain with your spoonfuls of honey coated poison.

The yokai who sang songs of praise and adoration that hypnotized the purple coded Hamato. Transfixed Donnie gave it all. Anything you asked for. It was yours, just don't abandon him.

Immediately Raph and Leo were on his case about the matter. Preaching about how he was just going to get used and dumped to the curb.

Mikey wouldn't say anything.

Donatello knew Mikey wanted to defend his brother's blossoming interest in love but, in those warm grey eyes it reflected back the youngest Hamato's inability to support this. It wasn't healthy. Donatello didn't need Doctor Feelings to tell him such. But he didn't care. Not until out of the blue you start ghosting the softshell. Long story short— he's devastated.

All together your calls, messages, surprise visits stopped. For weeks there wasn't a sign from you and the lack of (Y/n) time was causing Donnie to go through remission. Like a junkie without a fix the softshell was losing his mind. Everywhere he searched at all hours. Day, night, anytime that his brothers weren't there to stop him from pursuing you. During your extended absence both his father and siblings would go on about how this was a good thing for him. Meanwhile Donatello felt like his world was falling to pieces. Patience chipped away every day he couldn't find you. Before the techno turtle knew it, half a month had passed and he found himself standing in the New Grand Nexus Hotel lobby requesting a meeting with Big Mama.

That's why he was here. To get you back. This is your fault that he's this way. Donatello was just a man of science before you came along and muddled up his rational brain. Now the purple clad Hamato was gonna make sure that you pay for it.

Standing tall once more the sound of the crowd and the stadium's intercom speaking finally broke through the ringing that was leftover from the previous match. Allowing the mutant genius to finally tune into Big Mama's message that was being broadcasted.

"—Ahhh my good patrons~ For our last-aroo match of the tourna-warna-ment we have a special guest star instead of the champion we had originally set.... Give her a warm welcome back everyone! (Y/n), The Snow-woman!~ " the eight-legged Battle Nexus owner announced cheerfully. The projection was cut not a moment later and presented on the opposite side of the arena before the Mad Dog was you.

The (h/c) woman looked just the way she did the day the yokai had sang goodbye for the last time. Pressed white kimono and cold (e/c) eyes. Not sparing a single look to the commotion from the crowd behind her. That deadly gaze was locked on him. Beautiful.

Had not been for the agreement that Donatello had struck up with the British spider demon Donatello would've just stolen you away right then and there.

Like the fog they pumped in for your dramatic grand entrance you glided down the champion runway. Not at all inhibited by the fickle geta you used to complain about. Time slowing down for Donatello the closer you crept towards the ring.

Once locked inside with him Donatello could feel a switch flip inside of him. At first he was so happy that you were actually here and not some false advertisement promoted by Big Mama to lure the softshell turtle into her Battle Nexus. Though as soon as the endorphins left his system the mutant's veins were flooded with a different kind of emotion. Possessive anger. How dare the snow demon just leave him like that. The Mad Dog had given her whatever she desired only for the woman to have the audacity to turn around and leave him after she ruined him like this. It's her fault the ninja turtle felt like this. The demon assistant needed to be held accountable.

Without warning catching the techie turtle off guard you bolted forward. Only allowing Donatello just a second to react in time to protect himself from the icicle blade that formed in your (Dominant hand) hand somewhere between your dramatic entrance and attack. Regardless of its origins, the elemental weapon held up against the thick metal of Donatello's tech-bo that he defended himself with. Not wasting any time the softshell shoved the Yuki-Onna off with his staff before returning the attack with some strikes of his own. From there the two of you traded blows.

Some length of time passed before you began to show obvious signs of fatigue. The combination of the heat radiating off the stadium's overhead lamps and the overexertion of your abilities weakened you enough that eventually all you had left to keep the purple clad Hamato away was the wave of ice that blew forth from your pouting blue tinted lips.

What a nuisance

Had you known all those months ago that you'd be back here in this damn Battle Nexus fighting for your freedom, you wouldn't have ever agreed to that seemingly straightforward task. Befriend the purple clad turtle, get some Intel on Baron Draxum(maybe more) and get out. Simple. Until it wasn't. Donatello was becoming too close, too demanding, too far gone in his own delusion of what he called love. So you dipped.

How ironic you left because you didn't want to deal with the turtle's possessive emotions only to end up fighting against said techie genius for your freedom. Damn Big Mama and her stupid whims. If you managed to win this match. You were for sure never going back to the eight legged entrepreneur. Didn't want to risk being placed in a similar situation like this again.

Rolling around all over the place like a RPG character in a boss fight Donatello manages to eventually draw closer to the defrosting Yuki-Onna. Timing it perfectly to slap a muzzle onto your mouth the sudden action catching you off guard causing you to stumble back. Clawing at the metallic restraint that retracted and locked around your jaw.

Seeing his opportunity Donatello knocks you down onto your ass before activating the electrical prongs in his tech-bo. In a swift move the mutant turtle held you down with his foot as he stabbed the ends of the built in taser into your stomach electrocuting you until your vision went dark.

The moment that it was declared the (h/c) haired woman was down for the count. From the surrounding stands a roar of excitement erupted within the colosseum all at once. The cheers of spectators barely drowned out only by Big Mama's announcement of the purple coded mutant's victory. Giddiness evident in the jorogumo's tone despite being out a helper.

However that was not what Donatello was concerned about.

Not wasting another second in hitting the button on his tech-bo allowing the contraption to retract into its small tubbing and to be put away. Leaving his three digit grasps open to scoop up his prize. Overwhelmed with finally having you in his grasp once again the purple coded Hamato completely forgets about his own battered state. Inky pools focused solely on the unconscious yokai that haunted his waking thoughts and dreams.

From behind him Donatello could hear the arrival of a group of footsteps. Standing up with your figure resting in his arms Donatello turns to face Big Mama as she struts towards your guy's battered figures. Two yokai bellhops following dutifully behind the spider demon boss.

" Fufufuh looks like some-bitty-body is a happy winner~ " the business woman teased as she approached. Stopping just in front of the two of you as she analyzed the scene with amusement.

" What a show! I'm soooo pleased that you were able to win dearie~ However there is still one little last itsy bitsy part of our deal you're forgetting~ " the spider demon chided playfully. Although her tone was its usual playfulness behind the lenses of her teal cat-eye frames the jorogumo held an impatient look.

"Oh how could I forget?" Donatello replied sarcastically as he released your legs holding you up against his plastron as his free hand reached back into his battle shell to grab his and your ticket out of this mad house.

" There. Everything I could find left over from Baron Draxum's lab that was salvageable " the softshell turtle said flatly as he threw the flashdrive towards the fox bellhop to the right of the Battle Nexus owner. The fox not wasting a second to handed the flashdrive over to it's boss.

"Splendid! Well~ you better get going young purple one. Yuki-Onna's don't respond well to heat and today is supposed to be terribly hot! Better hurry~" Big Mama warned whimsically as she began to walk away back towards the direction of her luxury skybox.

With that out of the way Donatello doesn't waste a second longer standing around in the middle of the Battle Nexus arena. Quickly the mad dog recollects your figure into his arms bridal style fleeing the Battle Nexus arena and hotel as quickly as possible.

Once out of the mob boss's reach back on the surface Donatello couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. He made it, he found you. The creature caged in his chest was pleased. Content that he has you at his side once again and this time the purple clad softshell was gonna ensure things would be different. He wasn't gonna let you leave him in shambles again. He was gonna make sure you needed him as much as he needs you.

After all it was like what Mikey said:

"The heart wants what it wants"

And his wanted you even if your's didn't want him.

++++++++++++++++++++++

¶¶ Author's Notes ¶¶

Guys so as I was writing this I was thinking about how the Kraang could've affected Donatello and Raphael in the long run.

Like obviously PTSD but what I mean is like cray cray wise.

Like both Raph and Donnir had fused with the Kraang Hive mind in some form or another.( Raph mind controlled/possessed, Donnie mind melded )

I'm just saying there's gotta be some sort of side effects from that experience. Like having a harder time differentiate between reality and hallucinations. Or possibly maybe their brains chemistry has been fucked up making them more aggressive/possessive? Idk

I'm thinking about writing/or elaborating further on this in a future post. Yandere scenarios of course.

I just got a lot to write but, you guys know me. I'm all over the place~

Anyways thank you guys for bearing with me and my rabbling. I hope you guys have a great day!

Thank you for reading!

Sorry this is long↓ I don't own these memes. I've never claimed to do so. I just come across them on Pinterest when I'm on break at work and think they're funny so I like to share them. If I mistakenly put one on here that I shouldn't have please let me know! I like to respect people's wishes. And if you could add the creator names too that would be great so the same mistake isn't made twice. Sorry for the inconvenience that my sharing may cause. I hope you have a good day.

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longsightmyth · 2 years ago

Note

what's a book or series that you genuinely love? I'm always seeing your commentary on "not so great" (bad) books (no hate, love ur commentary) but I'd love to know the ones you like best.

Ah tumblr search function you fail us yet again (inexplicable fondness).

"The ones I like best" is a very broad category that I will try to narrow down I guess?

My favorite book of all time remains The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by NK Jemisin. The other books in the trilogy are still excellent (I have yet to read anything by NK Jemisin that is not excellent) but specifically the first book of the inheritance trilogy remains my favorite. Other standouts of hers include the short story The Effluent Engine and the second book of the Dreamblood series, The Shadowed Sun (though, again! I cannot stress enough that I'm not even sure NK Jemisin could write a bad book/story if she wanted to!)

I routinely recommend all of Alyssa Cole's romances: not only are they incredibly inclusive, the characters navigate believable conflicts based around their characterization and not simply Because Of The Plot. Her contemporary romances are some of the few contemporary romances I enjoy: it's not usually my genre, but anything Alyssa Cole writes I will read. Shoutout to her expansion into horror, she's also one of the few authors who will get me to read THAT genre. Standouts include Can't Escape Love (novella), A Duke by Default, and Let It Shine (also a novella). Another author who I cannot stress enough: just go read her entire backlog okay. She's got historical romances in a range of time periods. She's got contemporary romances. She's got horror, god help me.

The other author who can convince me to read horror is T Kingfisher, aka Ursula Vernon. Her fairytale retellings are A+ and always contain horror elements, and she is another author who has yet to write a dud for me. Standouts include Nettle & Bone (NETTLE AND BOOOOOOOOONE), The Raven and the Reindeer, and The Seventh Bride.

Tamora Pierce is sort of a no-brainer here for me. Her books are not always perfect by any means, but they are always progressive for the time they are written and she continues to improve and take feedback into account. Plus you probably owe the existence of your favorite stabby ya lady to her. Tortall owns my heart because I read it first but she has a lovely magic school series in a different world where friendship is literally magic and social commentary the norm.

The Dragonriders of Pern is not for everyone. Much of the sexual politics in the early novels are, as I have discussed elsewhere, outdated, but the books evolved as Anne McCaffrey's understanding did, and there are soulmate dragons and impeccably rendered closed time loops (multiples! Happening at the same time!) and a constant discussion and tension of evolving social norms and the needs of society: at what point does technology become Too Much? Does it at all? What happens when the people in charge stop giving a shit about their responsibilities? Seriously the impeachment plot in Dragonseye/red star rising is nearly prescient. Most of these conflicts originate early on but don't truly come to fruition until later, and please take my word for it and simply don't read the books written by her son. They are bad.

The Witchlands series by Susan Dennard! Tbh I think this series deserves more love than it gets. It's not perfect, it can improve, but that's the thing: it routinely does. Dennard puts time and care into her work from all sides and discusses openly her early and middle mistakes, from a technical level to a 'needing a sensitivity reader' level.

Sarah Rees Brennan! Y'all know I love Sarah Rees Brennan, right? You should. She likes to explore tropes and genre convention and snappy, snappy dialogue. I haven't reread The Lynburn Legacy yet this year, but that's an anomaly. In Other Lands is pretty widely acknowledged as superior portal fantasy, I think. Tell The Wind and Fire was constrained by the book it was retelling and I think suffered for it, but that just means it wasn't as good as I personally think it could have been, not that it wasn't good at all. The Demon's Lexicon trilogy is her first series and yes, okay, it shows a little, but have you ever thought to yourself, hey. What if Supernatural was actually, like. Good. And wanted to actually explore in a thoughtful manner morality and what it means to be a person and nature vs nurture and how complicated your relationships with parents can be. Because if so, go give The Demon's Lexicon a shot.

The Rivers of London! We will excuse magic cops this once because they are specifically *magic* cops and because Nightingale literally fought nazis and Peter is pretty critical of the met in general. These books almost make me like London, and as a bonus Peter is fully aware that King Arthur was Welsh (look this is important to me okay)

Lockwood & Co! I am on the final book now and really enjoying my feral child soldier ghosthunters. I want to give them all soup. I want to wrap them all in blankets. My inexplicable attraction to the actor playing Kipps in the show is irrelevant to book enjoyment but I am still flabbergasted, by all accounts it doesn't make sense.

The Vorkosigan Saga by Lois McMaster Bujold is space opera. I love it. I admittedly love the Cordelia and Ekaterin novels most, but that is a matter of my eternal love for ladies who are generally nice but willing to fuck shit up, they're all good.

Artemis Fowl! Criminal mastermind child WHO JUST NEEDS FRIENDS OH MY GOD. I cried at the end of the third book. It's fine! We're all fine! Colfer does an excellent job of portraying the fairies as having a culture different from ours with real reasons that they haven't taken over the world, and if you don't love Holly you're wrong.

I have more but I'll stop here for now I guess. Whoops.

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artist-kreating-stuff · 2 years ago

Text

A while ago, I was listening to the song “Hungry For Another One” by JT Music nonstop because it is SO catchy.

Around this time, Ninjago Season 13: Master of the Mountain came out. I don’t why, but I wrote a parody of the song from Cole’s perspective during the events of the season.

I call it “Ready For Another One”!

Orange - Cole

Black - Shintaro

Green - Skull Sorcerer

Purple - Geckles and Munce

Red - Ninja

You don't look like you belong here

Did you pinch yourself to see

If you'd wake up from a nightmare

Or could YOU STILL BE ASLEEP?

I tell myself it's all a dream

That Shintaro is just the Ivory City

You took a fall into the mines

Where greed is always peeking

All we got for cargo

Are the metals for leeching

Lots of mino carts

And boney guards for tyranny

Better grab a torch

Because the shadows are reaching

I'm stuck in the dungeon

With some oddly company

Watching me mournfully

Grappling, arguing

I tell them to follow me

Which they do, willingly

But all I do is get the higher ups ANGRY

They seem content to just chain me and pain me

Lock me up tight with vengestone for a playmate

Can I make friends with my odd-looking neighbors?

Doesn't seem like it; they're already arguing!

All I had wanted was to go right to sleep

But adventure came into my room with a peep

I came for the party, but there's no balloons

Just two different folks and a skull bearing loon

If I get lucky my family will come for me

Time to depart from this prison of ivory

Instead of a Lowly make me an Upply

Give me some grub that I really need to eat

'Cause all we have here is slop that's disgusting

But that's not the only pain that I'm harboring

What is this sensation that I am feeling?

This deep underground; is it my growing insanity?

This adventure ain't over

I watch the clock for the morning sun

I know when it's over

I'll just be ready for another one

Ready for another one

Ninja never say done

Ready for another one

Wonder why my power's gone

Ready for another one

A land where greed has overrun

Are ya ready for another one?

My friend, dear bright green skull

Oh how your power awes me

Let's put it to the test

Send my foes into slavery

Your kingliness and greediness

Will lead to your demise

Geckles and the Munce; only frightened ducks

Under your glowing eyes

How can it be?

Who called for me?

Better question: why here?

If I follow my

Mother's legacy

Maybe the sun will rise

But until the sun is up

We better greet the guests

By showing them our city;

All the metal is fresh

They don't need to know the process

'Cause they might protest

Well, at least I'm not alone

I hope the locals know best

Hey

Even though not many of us are free

Be a leader and tell us it's alright

Just remember to stay out of sight

Bone against stone, centuries old

The last time, our hero wore a hood

Two blades of might, her bringers of light

Better get 'em back, or it's the end of the line

This adventure ain't over

I watch the clock for the morning sun

I know when it's over

I'll just be ready for another one

Ready for another one

Ninja never say done

Ready for another one

Wonder why my power's gone

Ready for another one

A land where greed has overrun

Are ya ready for another one?

I've never been easily spooked by the creatures in the dark

But what started as a friendly visit went up with a spark

As I try to get by with the Lowly, my family continues to grow

Though as I go even deeper, a feeling fills me from my toes

It fills every part of my soul from within

I feel so strong, like we might really win

My family surrounds me, unwavering as stone

Now let's face the dragon of bone

This adventure ain't over

I watch the clock for the morning sun

I know when it's over

I'll just be ready for another one

Ready for another one

Ninja never say done

Ready for another one

Wonder why my power's gone

Ready for another one

A land where greed has overrun

Are ya ready for another one?

You don’t look like you belong here

Did you pinch yourself to see

If you’d wake up from a nightmare

Or could YOU STILL BE ASLEEP?

youtube

#ninjago #little nightmares #jt music #song lyrics #song parody #ninjago cole #little nightmares song #ninjago master of the mountain #geckles #Munce #skull sorcerer #kingdom of Shintaro #Youtube

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bagel-is-yum · 1 year ago

Note

SHREK

Written by

William Steig & Ted Elliott

SHREK

Once upon a time there was a lovely

princess. But she had an enchantment

upon her of a fearful sort which could

only be broken by love's first kiss.

She was locked away in a castle guarded

by a terrible fire-breathing dragon.

Many brave knights had attempted to

free her from this dreadful prison,

but non prevailed. She waited in the

dragon's keep in the highest room of

the tallest tower for her true love

and true love's first kiss. (laughs)

Like that's ever gonna happen. What

a load of - (toilet flush)

Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his

day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go

after the ogre.

NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME

MAN1

Think it's in there?

MAN2

All right. Let's get it!

MAN1

Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that

thing can do to you?

MAN3

Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's

bread.

Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.

SHREK

Yes, well, actually, that would be a

giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse.

They'll make a suit from your freshly

peeled skin.

MEN

No!

SHREK

They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the

jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's

quite good on toast.

MAN1

Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!

(waves the torch at Shrek.)

Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The

men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long

and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the

men are in the dark.

SHREK

This is the part where you run away.

(The men scramble to get away. He laughs.)

And stay out! (looks down and picks

up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted.

Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and

throws the paper over his shoulder.)

THE NEXT DAY

There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard

sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures

to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line

are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto

who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three

little pigs.

GUARD

All right. This one's full. Take it

away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!

HEAD GUARD

Next!

GUARD

(taking the witch's broom) Give me that!

Your flying days are over. (breaks the

broom in half)

HEAD GUARD

That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch.

Next!

GUARD

Get up! Come on!

HEAD GUARD

Twenty pieces.

LITTLE BEAR

(crying) This cage is too small.

DONKEY

Please, don't turn me in. I'll never

be stubborn again. I can change. Please!

Give me another chance!

OLD WOMAN

Oh, shut up. (jerks his rope)

DONKEY

Oh!

HEAD GUARD

Next! What have you got?

GIPETTO

This little wooden puppet.

PINOCCHIO

I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his

nose grows)

HEAD GUARD

Five shillings for the possessed toy.

Take it away.

PINOCCHIO

Father, please! Don't let them do this!

Help me!

Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up

to the table.

HEAD GUARD

Next! What have you got?

OLD WOMAN

Well, I've got a talking donkey.

HEAD GUARD

Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings,

if you can prove it.

OLD WOMAN

Oh, go ahead, little fella.

Donkey just looks up at her.

HEAD GUARD

Well?

OLD WOMAN

Oh, oh, he's just...he's just a little

nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox.

Talk, you boneheaded dolt...

HEAD GUARD

That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!

OLD WOMAN

No, no, he talks! He does. (pretends

to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to

talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing

you ever saw.

HEAD GUARD

Get her out of my sight.

OLD WOMAN

No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!

The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One

of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's

hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled

with fairy dust and he's able to fly.

DONKEY

Hey! I can fly!

PETER PAN

He can fly!

3 LITTLE PIGS

He can fly!

HEAD GUARD

He can talk!

DONKEY

Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm

a flying, talking donkey. You might

have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly

but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey

fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins

to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink

to the ground.)

He hits the ground with a thud.

HEAD GUARD

Seize him! (Donkey takes of running.)

After him!

GUARDS

He's getting away! Get him! This way!

Turn!

Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally.

Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared

for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He

quickly hides behind Shrek.

HEAD GUARD

You there. Ogre!

SHREK

Aye?

HEAD GUARD

By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized

to place you both under arrest and transport

you to a designated resettlement facility.

SHREK

Oh, really? You and what army?

He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well

and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail

and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and

begins walking back to his cottage.

DONKEY

Can I say something to you? Listen,

DONKÉ

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kylesvariouslistsandstuff · 2 years ago

Text

Shield Rebrand

With Annecy right around the corner, and with a new leader at the helm... Warner Animation Grou- Sorry, **Warner Bros. Pictures Animation**... Has announced a morsel of their big rebrand following nearly a decade of having "Warner Animation Group" as their prime feature animation moniker...

Recap: Former DreamWorks powerhosue exec Bill Damaschke, who was a key figure at the studio from the late 1990s all the way up until the mid-2010s... Ya know, the era of MADAGASCAR, OVER THE HEDGE, KUNG FU PANDA, HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON, THE CROODS, etc.... now runs Warner Bros. Pictures Animation. Or to save digital ink on this somewhat mouthful name, WBPA...

Their previously-released picture was DC LEAGUE OF SUPER-PETS this past summer, a pretty commercially successful comics-based romp that's sure to get some kind of continuation. We would've had *another* WAG/WBPA movie this past year, too, with SCOOB! HOLIDAY HAUNT. Conceived as a straight to Max (formerly HBO Max) prequel, that movie was completed and scored... But Warner Bros. Discovery CEO David Zaslav - in one of many bad moves - cast it into the black hole, a "tax write-off" that can never be released and no one can legally make any money off of it...

This year, at one point, would've had the hybrid Looney Tunes movie COYOTE VS. ACME, and next year once had a WIZARD OF OZ retelling called TOTO.

Curiously, the new report on Deadline says that COYOTE VS. ACME is still in the works, as the live-action portions were all filmed a while ago. (Not that that means anything, keep in mind that Zaslav took a nearly-completed BATGIRL that was entirely filmed... And also threw that into a black hole, I think all traces of its existence have been deleted.) If finished and released, as it's still without a concrete release date, then COYOTE VS. ACME could possibly be the first WAG movie to be billed as a WBPA movie. The rebrand could be effective immediately, maybe not... If it is, then WAG's last picture would be a dog movie. Quite something.

Speaking of dogs... TOTO wasn't mentioned at all, strongly implying that that film is no longer happening.

And speaking of pet animals... THE CAT AND THE HAT, which was always slated after TOTO, is still coming. It's now aiming for either 2025 or 2026, and has added Alessandro Carloni (KUNG FU PANDA 3) as director alongside Erica Rivinoja. Presumably, the planned THING ONE AND THING TWO and OH THE PLACE YOU'LL GO! movies are still on, as Warner did enter an overall deal back in 2018 to make plenty of Dr. Seuss animated movies. Other than that, no word on the Ron Clements-John Musker picture METAL MEN, of course a DC adaptation... What ever happened to that one? I was pumped to see that Disney dream team make their big return, because it's been a while. MOANA was their previous picture, and presumably final one for Disney Animation...

Damaschke, channeling his DreamWorks days, plans to have WBPA be much more filmmaker-driven and less focused on big IPs the way WAG was for a little while. Relying on Looney Tunes, Tom & Jerry, Hanna-Barbera, DC, et al. All stuff WBD owns, and abandoning pictures like THE ICE DRAGON and BONE... Which, yes, are based on pre-existing source material, but you know what I mean. Not the stuff WB has had in their family free for years and years. I missed it when WAG/WBPA made movies like STORKS and SMALLFOOTS to go with all the LEGO movies and such.

He noted the studio's history of releasing films like THE IRON GIANT, CORPSE BRIDE, and HAPPY FEET. He did erroneously state that THE IRON GIANT was "commercially successful". On video, yes, but we all know that movie - Brad Bird's feature directorial debut - was sadly a crushing bomb at the box office upon its original 1999 release. Still, that he gave that film and some others a nod is important... But, as the Deadline report pointed out... That's a line-up alright! Films directed by Brad Bird, Tim Burton, George Miller. He also added Robert Zemeckis' mo-capped THE POLAR EXPRESS, but surprisingly left out Zack Snyder's GUARDIANS OF GA'HOOLE'S adaptation. (Why they went with that generic mouthful title is beyond me.)

Warner's partnership with Locksmith Animation, the UK-based animation studio founded by ex-Aardman women Julie Lockhart and Sarah Smith, is also still on. Much to my surprise. I thought that affair was over, but no! They're still in the mix, and have two pictures in the works that'll debut after their THAT CHRISTMAS debuts on Netflix. Those are the sci-fi Grimm fairy tale story THE LUNAR CHRONICLES, and a modern musical called BAD FAIRIES. They've got great talent attached (for example, CENTAURWORLD director Megan Nicole Dong is helming BAD FAIRIES), and they both sound like fun... And I wanted to see more of Locksmith anyways, they made a neat little start with the charming RON'S GONE WRONG. Always nice to see a relatively new studio make it.

Still, this initial announcement was much more focused on... IPs. Locksmith is also said to have a hand in the IP movies in addition to the original productions...

In the works is a Flintstones origin movie called MEET THE FLINTSTONES, to be written by MARIO's Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic, who previously did lots of work on Warners' own TEEN TITANS GO! Presumably, this won't be starting any Hanna-Barbera "Cinematic Universe" that SCOOB! attempted to do. The whole world of Hanna-Barbera was already a shared universe anyways, for they've had many crossovers over the decades: FLINTSTONES MEET THE JETSONS, for starters. JOHNNY BRAVO had that whole Scooby-Doo episode which threw then-6 year old me for a curveball. The loose nature of many of their most-beloved cartoons allows for that. Yogi Bear can just suddenly show up in, like, a Scooby-Doo cartoon or something. It doesn't have to be this MCU-esque thing, and oddly enough, the much-maligned SCOOB! kinda knew that. The 2020 movie wasn't necessarily setting up future movies or tying everything down to some S.H.I.E.L.D.-esque connective tissue... The characters from other Hanna-Barbera shows simply existed in the same universe as the Scooby-Doo characters. They were simply going to solve more mysteries as the Mystery Gang after the plot wrapped up. I loved the idea of them having to face Dick Dastardly, and also meeting faces like Captain Caveman... The execution, I felt, just didn't service the world that they shaped. To me, SCOOB! played out much more like a generic animated movie that just happened to be set in the H-B universe. I felt it could've been a lot better. I'm not sure if the scrapped version that was aiming for a 2018 release, the one that involved Dax Shepard, was going to be any better. That too could've been a cluttered cameo cacophony. First and foremost, I'd like to see this Flintstones movie just be a really cool adaptation of the titular family. Maybe, in a sort of post-SPIDER-VERSE sense, they use a really cool style of CGI that really brings Bedrock to life in a way not seen in the previous live-action movie iterations. SCOOB!, to be fair, had a really fun-looking style that meshed the classic designs and cartooniness of the source material with 3D quite nicely. But, one movie at a time please. Maybe it should just be, simply, a Flintstones movie.

Another live-action/animation hybrid Looney Tunes movie is in the works, too, apparently... Although part of me just wishes to see... Simply... An all-animated Looney Tunes movie. It doesn't even need to be an ensemble movie, since many of the original Looney Tunes theatrical shorts (in addition to the Merrie Melodies) weren't ensemble cartoons... But for whatever reason, Warner just won't do it. SPACE JAM really did set the template going forward... I can't complain too much. What's going on with the Warner Bros. Animation-produced Looney Tunes movies like THE DAY THE EARTH BLEW UP? They seem to still be alive in some way or another.

I also don't rule out, now that ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE is out and surpassing its predecessor at the box office in a matter of days, hours even- An animated Batman theatrical feature. Or something set in the DC Universe that isn't LEAGUE OF SUPER-PETS. There are already some animation plans underway for James Gunn and Peter Safran's rebooted DC Universe, so... We shall see...

Obviously, I'm much more interested in the non-IP stuff they plan on putting into development... So, I'm assuming during Annecy next week, they'll shed some more light on that... I'm just glad to hear that WBPA is in good standing and they have a new game plan going forward...

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magicalyaku · 2 months ago

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I spent a week writing up my thoughts about 5 months of books, I'm so done! I want to do this, yes, doesn't make it any easier. For next year, I need to think about how I'd like to continue, but for now, here's what I read in December!

Prince and Bodyguard (Perilous Courts 4) (Tavia Lark): I like the first three books of the series, but I was very reluctant to continue reading because a different family of princes. And dragons. I don't particularly like dragons. Guess what, there's like three seconds of dragon inside this one and instead much more big talking cat (approved). Also it was less adventurous then the other volumes and more character focused, I'd say, with an attempt at political intrique that was in its complexity just right for this type of story in my opinion.

A Ferry of Bones & Gold (Soulbound 1) (Hailey Turner): I debated a long time with myself if and how I want to read this. It's seven volumes after all, quite a commitment. Well, am I glad about my decision or what. I had a grand time with this book. There's so much action omg. At the 50% mark I was like "What?! This is only half of it?? What else are you going to do?!" Because we deal with gods and immortals right from the start where other series will start small and keep those for the final! It's wild. It also often references events from the past which I think adds to the tension better than starting at the very beginning of protagonist Patrick's story and going in chronological order. Figuring out how things in the past add up is always its own little treat. I love how cranky and unapologetic Patrick is and how his relationship with Jono develops. It's a fun book and I'm looking forward to reading the next volumes! (I just need to take a bit of cooldown time before starting the second one because of its intensity.) Btw, I tried hard to remember if I've read something of similar action and insanity level before and the only thing that came up was The Tarot Sequence. :')

The Eidolon (The Magnus Archives 1) (K.D. Edwards): Did I just say The Tarot Sequence? Well, here it is. I actually bought this book as the Rainbow Crate Hardcover edition (my first and until volume 2 comes out probably my only one. (Shipping and customs to Europe are not fun)). Very pretty. The story is fun as usual, even though I had a little trouble remembering all of what happened in The Hourglass Throne to which this is set parallel to. Max and Quinn are so nice to read together. And even without remembering some of the details of the main story, it still felt familar enough to get it, if you know what I mean? All the references to the adults are also fun (What would Rune do? Brand taught me this! Rune always makes it sound so hard when it really isn't *eyeroll"). Also, unexpected ace rep, we like to see it. :)

This Fatal Kiss (Alicia Jasinska): I think I skimmed a mixed review of this, so I was a little careful and borrowed it from the library first instead of outright buying it. And guess what? I loved it! I had a lot of fun with this. I have a difficult relationship with female protagonists in my books (YA fantasy really sullied them for me), but Gisela here is just the kind of girl I can enjoy reading. A little annoying, a little cute, definitely not soppy. It helps that the male lead, Kazik, is also of the easily embarassed type, so basically two of my favorite character types together. :D I also like reading stories with Slavic folklore demons/spirits. The friendship between the girls is great (that one fight! Yes!), the way the Water Goblin cares for them (without being creepy!). It's quite wholesome. And while the stakes are only high for the specific characters, the tension is exquisite~ Everyone tries to keep their secret and you know when it comes out, there will be so much delicious drama. My only gripe is that that one specific secret is reserved for the sequel. (I thought it would be a oneshot D:). Interestingly, one review I read complained about the unclear historical time, as the setting seems a little dated but it still has busses and cameras. But it didn't disturb me at all. It felt quite natural and fitting in its way to talk about glasses and tourists, radiators, university, fashion and how it hated on tourists on bikes (loved it. Finally someone who gets me). I remember reading A Far Wilder Magic and actually being disturbed by the time of the setting, because that one felt old-fashioned but then they had condoms… (a propos, no smutty scenes in this one). I'm looking forward to the sequel and how their little three-way-romance will turn out! (And another pretty cover please!!)

Die Silbernen Schlangen (The Silvered Serpents), Die Bronzenen Bestien (The Bronzed Beasts) (The Gilded Wolves 2+3) (Roshani Chokshi): It's been 3 full years since I read the first volume. I loved it at the time but it was right at the start of my reading marathon so I got distracted with other books and didn't continue with volume 2. As a result, my memory of it was nearly non-existent … I remembered the characters at least. They made it hard, however, to like them at the start of volume 2, because they were all grieving and basically at their worst. Things got better as the plot progressed and people began to move. And then, volume 3 started in a similar fashion. After all, we have four to five characters whose feelings and thoughts need to be explored which makes it real slow sometimes. But I like the history, the logic displayed to solve the puzzles, the action sequences, the team. I think you can feel how thoughtful the story is put together, with all the threads of grander topics woven in, while still being accessible. And thinking about it, I read a lot of oneshots these days, so it was nice to read an epic story not afraid to go big (and have a really long ending sequence spanning years). It took me a while to get back into the story, but yeah, it was worth it.

How to be Ace (Rebecca Burgess): This is a graphic novel and memoir. My second of each this year, yay! I like this one because I dare say it's a common growing up story for aspec people (even if it's not at all like mine) and with its graphic novel format it's really easy and quick to read. Like, if you're aspec and want to read another person's story or if you're not, but want to know more, you can't go wrong with this one.

And that's it for 2024 for good! Keep an eye out for my summary post with the Award Ceremony for Best Books (and more) and I'll also post art again, promise. <3

#yaku reads #books #queer books #lgbtq books #queer lit #bookblr #how to be ace #perilous courts #soulbound #the magnus archives #the gilded wolves #this fatal kiss

0 notes

goobybro · 4 months ago

Note

trick or treeeat

TRICK

Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love’s first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon’s keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love’s first kiss. (laughs) Like that’s ever gonna happen. What a load of – (toilet flush)

Allstar – by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre.

NIGHT – NEAR SHREK’S HOME

MAN1 Think it’s in there?

MAN2 All right. Let’s get it!

MAN1 Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?

MAN3 Yeah, it’ll grind your bones for it’s bread.

Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.

SHREK Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they’re much worse. They’ll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.

MEN No!

SHREK They’ll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it’s quite good on toast.

MAN1 Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.)

Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark.

SHREK This is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) “Wanted. Fairy tale creatures.”(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder)

THE NEXT DAY

There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who’s carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs.

GUARD All right. This one’s full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!

HEAD GUARD Next!

GUARD (taking the witch’s broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half)

HEAD GUARD That’s 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!

GUARD Get up! Come on!

HEAD GUARD Twenty pieces.

LITTLE BEAR (crying) This cage is too small.

DONKEY Please, don’t turn me in. I’ll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!

OLD WOMAN Oh, shut up. (jerks his rope)

DONKEY Oh!

HEAD GUARD Next! What have you got?

GIPETTO This little wooden puppet.

PINOCCHIO I’m not a puppet. I’m a real boy. (his nose grows)

HEAD GUARD Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.

PINOCCHIO Father, please! Don’t let them do this! Help me!

Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table.

HEAD GUARD Next! What have you got?

OLD WOMAN Well, I’ve got a talking donkey.

HEAD GUARD Right. Well, that’s good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.

OLD WOMAN Oh, go ahead, little fella.

Donkey just looks up at her.

HEAD GUARD Well?

OLD WOMAN Oh, oh, he’s just…he’s just a little nervous. He’s really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt…

HEAD GUARD That’s it. I’ve heard enough. Guards!

OLD WOMAN No, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I’m the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.

HEAD GUARD Get her out of my sight.

OLD WOMAN No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!

The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan’s hands, and her cage drops on Donkey’s head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he’s able to fly.

DONKEY Hey! I can fly!

PETER PAN He can fly!

3 LITTLE PIGS He can fly!

HEAD GUARD He can talk!

DONKEY Ha, ha! That’s right, fool! Now I’m a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.)

He hits the ground with a thud.

HEAD GUARD Seize him! (Donkey takes of running.) After him!

GUARDS He’s getting away! Get him! This way! Turn!

Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek.

HEAD GUARD You there. Ogre!

SHREK Aye?

HEAD GUARD By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility.

SHREK Oh, really? You and what army?

He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage.

DONKEY Can I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin’ back here. Incredible!

SHREK Are you talkin’ to…(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa!

DONKEY Yes. I was talkin’ to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin’ over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.

SHREK Oh, that’s great. Really.

DONKEY Man, it’s good to be free.

SHREK Now, why don’t you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?

DONKEY But, uh, I don’t have any friends. And I’m not goin’ out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I’ll stick with you. You’re mean, green, fightin’ machine. Together we’ll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.

Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly.

DONKEY Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don’t mind me sayin’, if that don’t work, your breath certainly will get the job done, ’cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, ’cause you breath stinks! You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time…(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey continues to talk, so Shrek removes his hand.) …then I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases leaking out of my butt that day.

SHREK Why are you following me?

DONKEY I’ll tell you why. (singing) ‘Cause I’m all alone, There’s no one here beside me, My problems have all gone, There’s no one to deride me, But you gotta have faith…

SHREK Stop singing! It’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.

DONKEY Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.

SHREK Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?

DONKEY (looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh …really tall?

SHREK No! I’m an ogre! You know. “Grab your torch and pitchforks.” Doesn’t that bother you?

DONKEY Nope.

SHREK Really?

DONKEY Really, really.

SHREK Oh.

DONKEY Man, I like you. What’s you name?

SHREK Uh, Shrek.

DONKEY Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don’t-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. (They come over a hill and you can see Shrek’s cottage.) Whoa! Look at that. Who’d want to live in place like that?

SHREK That would be my home.

DONKEY Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a decorator. It’s amazing what you’ve done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. I guess you don’t entertain much, do you?

SHREK I like my privacy.

DONKEY You know, I do too. That’s another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You’ve trying to give them a hint, and they won’t leave. There’s that awkward silence. (awkward silence) Can I stay with you?

SHREK Uh, what?

DONKEY Can I stay with you, please?

SHREK (sarcastically) Of course!

DONKEY Really?

SHREK No.

DONKEY Please! I don’t wanna go back there! You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak. (pause while he looks at Shrek) Well, maybe you do. But that’s why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!

SHREK Okay! Okay! But one night only.

DONKEY Ah! Thank you! (he runs inside the cottage)

SHREK What are you…? (Donkey hops up onto a chair.) No! No!

DONKEY This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin’ manly stories, and in the mornin’ I’m makin’ waffles.

SHREK Oh!

DONKEY Where do, uh, I sleep?

SHREK (irritated) Outside!

DONKEY Oh, well, I guess that’s cool. I mean, I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. Here I go. Good night. (Shrek slams the door.) (sigh) I mean, I do like the outdoors. I’m a donkey. I was born outside. I’ll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, outside. I’m all alone…there’s no one here beside me…

SHREK’S COTTAGE – NIGHT

Shrek is getting ready for dinner. He sits himself down and lights a candle made out of earwax. He begins to eat when he hears a noise. He stands up with a huff.

SHREK (to Donkey) I thought I told you to stay outside.

DONKEY (from the window) I am outside.

There is another noise and Shrek turns to find the person that made the noise. He sees several shadows moving. He finally turns and spots 3 blind mice on his table.

BLIND MOUSE1 Well, gents, it’s a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have?

BLIND MOUSE2 It’s not home, but it’ll do just fine.

GORDO (bouncing on a slug) What a lovely bed.

SHREK Got ya. (Grabs a mouse, but it escapes and lands on his shoulder.)

GORDO I found some cheese. (bites Shrek’s ear)

SHREK Ow!

GORDO Blah! Awful stuff.

BLIND MOUSE1 Is that you, Gordo?

GORDO How did you know?

SHREK Enough! (he grabs the 3 mice) What are you doing in my house? (He gets bumped from behind and he drops the mice.) Hey! (he turns and sees the Seven Dwarves with Snow White on the table.) Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table.

DWARF Where are we supposed to put her? The bed’s taken.

SHREK Huh?

Shrek marches over to the bedroom and throws back the curtain. The Big Bad Wolf is sitting in the bed. The wolf just looks at him.

BIG BAD WOLF What?

TIME LAPSE

Shrek now has the Big Bad Wolf by the collar and is dragging him to the front door.

SHREK I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I’m a terrifying ogre! What do I have to do get a little privacy? (He opens the front door to throw the Wolf out and he sees that all the collected Fairy Tale Creatures are on his land.) Oh, no. No! No!

The 3 bears sit around the fire, the pied piper is playing his pipe and the rats are all running to him, some elves are directing flight traffic so that the fairies and witches can land…etc.

SHREK What are you doing in my swamp? (this echoes and everyone falls silent.)

Gasps are heard all around. The 3 good fairies hide inside a tent.

SHREK All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let’s go! Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey! Quickly. Come on! (more dwarves run inside the house) No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there. (they shut the door on him) Oh! (turns to look at Donkey)

DONKEY Hey, don’t look at me. I didn’t invite them.

PINOCCHIO Oh, gosh, no one invited us.

SHREK What?

PINOCCHIO We were forced to come here.

SHREK (flabbergasted) By who?

LITTLE PIG Lord Farquaad. He huffed and he puffed and he…signed an eviction notice.

SHREK (heavy sigh) All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is?

Everyone looks around at each other but no one answers.

DONKEY Oh, I do. I know where he is.

SHREK Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all?

DONKEY Me! Me!

SHREK Anyone?

DONKEY Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me!

SHREK (sigh) Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I’m gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came from! (Pause. Then the crowd goes wild.) Oh! (to Donkey) You! You’re comin’ with me.

DONKEY All right, that’s what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it!

DONKEY (singing) On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek. I can’t wait to get on the road again.

SHREK What did I say about singing?

DONKEY Can I whistle?

SHREK No.

DONKEY Can I hum it?

SHREK All right, hum it.

Donkey begins to hum ‘On the Road Again’.

#trick or treat #happy halloween #asks #:3

0 notes

storiesofsung · 6 months ago

Note

SHREK

Written by

William Steig & Ted Elliott

SHREK

Once upon a time there was a lovely

princess. But she had an enchantment

upon her of a fearful sort which could

only be broken by love's first kiss.

She was locked away in a castle guarded

by a terrible fire-breathing dragon.

Many brave knights had attempted to

free her from this dreadful prison,

but non prevailed. She waited in the

dragon's keep in the highest room of

the tallest tower for her true love

and true love's first kiss. (laughs)

Like that's ever gonna happen. What

a load of - (toilet flush)

Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his

day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go

after the ogre.

NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME

MAN1

Think it's in there?

MAN2

All right. Let's get it!

MAN1

Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that

thing can do to you?

MAN3

Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's

bread.

Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.

SHREK

Yes, well, actually, that would be a

giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse.

They'll make a suit from your freshly

peeled skin.

MEN

No!

SHREK

They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the

jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's

quite good on toast.

MAN1

Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!

(waves the torch at Shrek.)

Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The

men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long

and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the

men are in the dark.

SHREK

This is the part where you run away.

(The men scramble to get away. He laughs.)

And stay out! (looks down and picks

up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted.

Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and

throws the paper over his shoulder.)

THE NEXT DAY

There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard

sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures

to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line

are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto

who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three

little pigs.

GUARD

All right. This one's full. Take it

away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!

HEAD GUARD

Next!

GUARD

(taking the witch's broom) Give me that!

Your flying days are over. (breaks the

broom in half)

HEAD GUARD

That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch.

Next!

GUARD

Get up! Come on!

HEAD GUARD

Twenty pieces.

LITTLE BEAR

(crying) This cage is too small.

DONKEY

Please, don't turn me in. I'll never

be stubborn again. I can change. Please!

Give me another chance!

OLD WOMAN

Oh, shut up. (jerks his rope)

DONKEY

Oh!

HEAD GUARD

Next! What have you got?

GIPETTO

This little wooden puppet.

PINOCCHIO

I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his

nose grows)

HEAD GUARD

Five shillings for the possessed toy.

Take it away.

PINOCCHIO

Father, please! Don't let them do this!

Help me!

Send the whole script

Don’t be shy 😩

0 notes

autistictojisuzuharafan11 · 11 months ago

Note

Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush) Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre. NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME MAN1 Think it's in there? MAN2 All right. Let's get it! MAN1 Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? MAN3 Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread. Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs. SHREK Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. MEN No! SHREK They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.

MAN1 Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.) Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark. SHREK This is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.) THE NEXT DAY There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs. GUARD All right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up! HEAD GUARD Next! GUARD (taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half) HEAD GUARD That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! GUARD Get up! Come on! HEAD GUARD Twenty pieces.

huh?

#anon ask

0 notes

elwynten · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter 48

Hestia Familia's first Expedition part 2

I looked around to make sure we were safe for the moment. Seeing it is clean, that is, no monsters on land at the moment. I turn to Bell.

"Bell." I called.

"Y-ya, what?" Bell said not sure what I was wanting him for.

"I need to go find someone." I told Bell.

"Wha!? Wh-who do you need to find down here?" Bell asked.

"A friend of Lydo and Rei's." I told Bell.

"You mean…" Welf started.

"Yes, that is exactly what I mean." I cut Welf off as I made a quick glance towards Lunis. I didn't want to let Luvis and his party know about the Xenos, yet.

Welf and Bell caught my glace at Luvis. They both looked over at him for a moment and turned back to me.

Bell nodded his head in understanding. "Yes, I see." Welf said.

"Can I go with you?" Cindy asked me as she walked over to where Welf, Bell and I were standing.

"Are you sure you'll be ok by yourself? You know how the monsters are down here." Bell asked me.

I nodded my head in understanding. "Yes, I can take care of myself. Besides Cindy wants to go with me, so there will be two of us going." I replied.

Bell looked over at Lili for a moment, then he turned back to me. "Go ahead. But don't be gone too long." He told me.

"Sure thing." I said then I did a quick mental search for Dormul and his party. "Dormul's that way." I told Bell and Welf, pointing in the direction I has sensed him.

I turned to the rest of our party. "Iris, Pakima, Rosni. Cindy and I are going to go find our friend. I want you three to stay with the party. I've already told Bell and Welf the direction Dormul and his party is, so you need to stay here and help them find Dormul." I told them.

Iris, Kimmy and Rosni didn't look too happy about having to stay with the expedition party, but they knew it was for the better that they stay with the main group.

"What do you mean you're going to look for a friend?" Aisha asked a little confused.

I looked over my shoulder to make sure Luvis was out of ear shot. I turned back to Aisha and lowering my voice. "One of the Xenos lives in the Water City. I know about where she is so, Cindy and I are going to go find her and see if she wants to live above round with the other Xenos." I informed Aisha.

"Why would you need to find a Xenos? They can get along on their own." Aisha asked me.

"Yes and no. This Xenos is a mermaid so she can't leave the Water City. I'm going to give her the opportunity to have a Companion and see if she wants to live on the surface." I told Aisha.

"Oh!" Aisha said nodding her head in understanding. "I get it. But do you really think you can make it with just the two of you?"

"Iris and I killed the Goliath on the 17th floor to rank up to level three. Then Cindy and Kimmy killed goliath to rank up to level three as well. So, I think we can handle what's on these floors with no problem." I reassured Aisha.

I turned to Cindy. "Come on Naʼashǫ́ʼiitsoh Yázhí (Little Dragon). We have to find the closest exit to the falls." I told her and started heading back the way we had come from.

I followed the same route back that we had used to find Luvis's party until we found ourselves on the cliff open to the Great Falls, just before going back up to the 24th floor.

"Full dragon or just wings?" Cindy asked.

"Just wings. Full dragon would draw to much attention to us." I replied.

"We should add the tail as well." Cindy added.

I nod my head in agreement. "You know more about flying and aerial combat. A tail would give us better maneuverability, so that makes since." I agreed with Cindy.

I took a couple steps back from Cindy and turned so I was facing her. A moment later a pair of titanium dragon wings sprouted from my back and a dragon tail sprouted from just above my tail bone.

"It never gets old seeing you or one of the others grow dragon wings or take on their full dragon form."

"You look good in any form you take." I told Cindy.

Cindy blushed at my complement. To hide her reaction, she grew her own dragon wings, although she grew her natural blue dragon wings and tail, instead of titanium wings and tail.

"You ready?" I asked as I turned to the cliff and started running.

"Right behind you!" Cindy called after me and giggled.

A moment later we were both in the air gliding down to the plunge pool at the base of the falls. When we were about fifty feet from the plunge pool I retracted my wings and dropped into the water.

As I was swimming back up to the surface there was a splash ten feet to the side of me. I looked over to see Cindy had done the same thing as I had, and she is now swimming in the water close to me.

The plunge pool is as large as a lake. It takes up over half of the huge cavern we are in. The water falling into the plunge pool creates a constant mist, and the sound of the water crashing into the plunge pool is almost defining it is so loud. A little over one hundred yards from the plunge pool is the start of the next waterfall going down to the 26th floor.

We swim to the shore and walk out of the water onto the shore. Almost everything is made of a blue crystal. The shore, cliffs, flat areas and valleys.

I turn to Cindy for a moment then I turn on around to face the waterfall.

[*Get ready. The Iguacu will be attacking us any second.*] I sent to Cindy because I would have had to yell to get her to hear me.

[*Iguacu? What are they?*] Cindy asked me.

[*They are swallow monsters also called invisible monsters because of how fast they dive at their targets.*] I tell Cindy.

[*Oh, shoot! How are we going to fight them?*]

[*Watch for the scarlet trail the leave as they dive so you can lead their attack with your own. You just have to be fast. Or with how high your durability is, just let them hit you. With how durable you are they won't hurt you when they hit you. although it will be messy.*] I suggest.

Cindy gives me a dirty look at suggesting she let the Iguacu hit her.

I chuckle. [*You wanted to come with me, Naʼashǫ́ʼiitsoh yázhí.*]

That's when I hear a whizzing sound. I summon my machete and short sword, Dongsang and Kogasu and make a suggestion to Cindy. [*Use your semblance. Absorb the first few attacks then use the stored up kinetic energy to attack the ones still in the air.*] I told Cindy as I step to the side and swing Dongsang, cutting the Iguacu in half.

[*Ugg! That's going to be messy.*] Cindy replied as one of the Iguacu struck her shoulder sending blood and gore all over the place. It was the monster's blood and gore not Cindy's. The impact slightly jolted Cindy, not even leaving a mark where the Iguacu impacted her.

I had activated my Warp Perception ability. It gives the perception of slowing time down, giving me time to think of what to do about any incoming attacks and also giving me time to react to those attacks. This way I can see the incoming Iguacu like they are moving in slow motion.

I make sure Cindy and I are several feet apart. If we were to close together, we would get in each other's way.

I don't try to cut the Iguacu in half, I'm aiming to knock them to the side. If I cut them in half or into pieces some of those pieces will still hit me. Knocking them or batting them to the side will still kill them, but it will prevent me from getting covered in swallow monster blood and gore. That is also another reason I moved a little farther away from Cindy, so she wouldn't be hit by any of the swallow monsters that I hit her way.

The number of Iguacu is increasing. I'm swinging at the Iguacu almost like a "Whack a Mole" game. I take a quick glance at Cindy. I see she is covered I monster blood and body parts. Although she has her had up shooting the ones still fifty to one hundred feet from her with the kinetic energy, she is building up from the Iguacu that are hitting her.

Looking over to see how Cindy is doing was a bad idea. Even though I looked for only a second. That lack of concentration allowed three of the Iguacu to hit me. Like Cindy, they didn't hurt me or even leave a mark, but they splattered me with blood and gore. I have to agree with Cindy… Uuggg!

I give the attacking Iguacu my full attention. Moving my hands along with Dongsang and Kogasu at blinding speed. If anyone happened to be watching they would only see after images and grey streaks as me weapons flash back and forth and up and down, hitting the swallow monsters.

I haven't kept track of time, but it feels like Cindy, and I have been defending ourselves from the swallow monsters for hours, but I'm sure it has only been five minutes or so. Fortunately, the attacks are tapering off. We are receiving sporadic attacks. After another minute the attacks stop all together.

I look over at Cindy. "How are you holding up?" I asked her.

"I'm doing good other than all this mess I'm covered in." Cindy replied with a giggle. Being a dragon, being covered in the blood and gore of her enemy or prey is not a bad thing to her.

"Well clean yourself up. You look a mess." I kidded her.

"You don't look much better." She observed.

I looked down at myself. "Ya, your right." I said and used 'Convenience' to clean myself off with. Convenience creates cleaning bubbles to clean any surface. In moments I'm back to my usual clean self. "That feels better." I said.

"Oh, ya!" Cindy chimed in after using Convenience on herself as well. "That does feel a lot better."

I hear clapping coming from behind me. I can tell Cindy hears it too because she turns to look where the clapping is coming from.

Before I look to see who is clapping, I reach out telekinetically and gather up all of the magic stones and drop items from the swallow monsters Cindy and I killed. Then I turn to see who is clapping. Although I'm sure of who it is.

At the top of the waterfall leading to the 26th floor sitting on crystal strand is a mermaid. Or more specific it is Maria a Xenos mermaid. From the waist down there is a translucent green fish tail, while from the waist up there is a light indigo-blue body of a young girl. She has smooth clear skin, a pair of well-shaped breasts, long hair the same color as her lower half, instead of ears she has small adorable little fins as well as jade-colored eyes.

Seaming so innocent the mermaid looks at me with her sparkling jade eyes.

I raise my hand up and wave to the mermaid. "Hello." I say to her.

The mermaid looks like she could be between fourteen and seventeen years of age. But with monsters she could have spawned six months ago. Because Sky looks to be around sixteen, yet she was spawned less than two months ago.

A strange thought inters my head at that moment unbidden. 'I need to remember when Wiene and Sky were spawned and learn when Fia was spawned so we can celebrate their birthday or spawning day each year. Where did that come from?' I think to myself and chuckle.

I hear wings beating above us. But before I can turn around to look.

"Harpies and sirens at twelve o'clock high. So, get your eyes off your new girlfriend." Cindy tells me with a giggle.

I look up towards the top of the falls and see a 'flock' of harpies and sirens heading our way. I also hear a splashing behind me. Looking over my shoulder the mermaid had dived into the water to get away from the air born monsters.

"Watch out for the sonic attack of the sirens. It could disorient you." I remind Cindy.

"Ya, I remember. Can I take them in the air?" She asked me.

I shrug my shoulders. "They wouldn't be expecting that. Why not. I'll join you as well."

As soon as I said, 'why not', Cindy had started extending her wings. "Should we do tails too?" She asked.

I nod my head in agreement. "Like I said before, you know more about aerial combat than I do, but adding our tails would give us more maneuverability while we are airborne." I replied as I extended my dragon wings and tail.

Cindy extends her wings and tail, then starts running towards the water giving a powerful down beat with her wings. A moment later Cindy's in the air beating her wings to gain altitude.

"Show off!" I yell as I follow Cindy. I extend my own wings and running after Cindy. Moments later Cindy and I are raising up in the air getting ready to have a dog fight with the harpies and sirens.

I summon Sasori although trying to fight with a weapon while being airborne is difficult. But I have Sasori in my hands to intimidate the monsters and for just in case I need it or want to use it.

[two o'clock.] I send to Cindy, seeing a harpy diving down at her. At the same time, I spot a siren to my left. Turning my head, I breath out titanium spindle darts at it.

Harpies and sirens are female, but I think of these monsters as 'it' instead of she or her. I only think of the Xenos as male and female. It helps keep them straight in my mind when I'm fighting part human monsters.

The titanium spindle darts strike the siren in the chest killing it. It's wings collapse as it falls to the water below.

I don't have time to watch it fall as I hear the sound of rushing air. Looking up there is a harpy dive bombing me. Its wings are pulled back with its open talons leading its attack.

Letting my body react without thinking. I twist in mid-air, swinging Sasori around in front of me as I spin. I'm able to catch the harpy just above its waist cutting it in half sending it to the water below along with the siren I had just killed.

'I'm going to have to work with my Team and do more aerial combat training if we're going to be spending very much time in the Water City.' I think to myself as I dive after another harpy that's about ten feet below me.

I catch a glimpse of Cindy doing a strafing run on two sirens, using her blue fire, breath weapon. I don't have time to see what happens to the siren, but I can make a good guess.

I turn back to my own battle. Cindy can take care of herself; she is used to aerial combat with her being a dragon.

As I stab a harpy with Sasori, another harpy slams into my left wing knocking me off balance. "You want to play that way." I say to the harpy, not expecting it to hear me or to understand what I'm saying. I retract my wings.

My Team and I can fly using our Companions flying ability. But the flying ability allows us to fly with or without wings. Flying without wings gives the harpies and sirens less of a target to go after.

As soon as my wings are gone, I create electricity and send out an arc of chain lightning towards several of the monsters around me. Three sirens and one harpy fall out of the air towards the water below.

I look around to find my next target, but the only one in the air besides myself is Cindy.

Cindy looked at me smugly. [*That was fun. It wasn't really even a challenge.*] She sent to me because we can't hear each other over the sound of the falls crashing into the plunge pool below us.

I chuckle where Cindy could hear it in her head. [*Okay, Naʼashǫ́ʼiitsoh yázhí. Let's go meet our new friend.*] I sent to her.

Cindy nodded her head and started gliding to the shore of the plunge pool or rather lake.

As I land, I retract my dragon tail leaving myself 'human' again. Cindy does the same retracting her dragon wings and tail. That's when I hear. "Are you okay?"

Looking around to find where the voice came from. Mari the mermaid is half hiding behind what looks like a crystal rock in the water.

I smile. "We're both fine. Not a scratch." I reassure her.

I point to myself. "I'm Eilwyn, Eilwyn." Then I put my hand on Cindy's shoulder. "She's Cindy, Cindy." I say Cindy's name. "What is your name?" I ask the mermaid although I already know what her name is.

"Eilwyn. Cindy." Mari repeats our names as she points at us as she says our names. "I'm Mari."

"You're a Xenos, right?" I ask her.

At hearing the word Xenos, her eyes go wide, and she give a strong thrust with her fish tail and she jumps up at me. She flings her arms around my neck hanging onto me with her arms.

I put my arms around Mari to help support her weight. She leans in close and sniffs my neck. "You smell of Fia." She tells me.

I chuckle. "I'm not surprised, Fia lives with me." I tell Mari.

Mari's eyes grow big again. "Fia lives with you?" She asks.

I nod my head in agreement. "Yes, she does, along with two new Xenos. Wiene who is a Vouivra and Sky who is a siren." I inform Mari.

Mari points towards the middle of the falls where several harpies and sirens are flying around. The Dungeon had probably just spawned them, replacing the ones Cindy and I had just killed.

"Let's go there." She tells us and points to a cavern.

Since Mari is already in my arms, I carry her into the first chamber that has a stream in it.

Cindy follows me into the chamber as I put Mari down by the stream after checking to make sure there are no monsters nearby.

"Would you like to live with Fia were there are no monsters?" I ask Mari.

"Live with Fia!? No monsters!?" Mari almost yells and claps her hands in excitement as she nods her head, yes.

*[Fia, Wiene.*] I send to Fia, and Wiene.

[*Eilwyn!?*] Fia replied with surprise in her thoughts.

[*Eilwyn, Eilwyn!*] Wiene said my name with excitement.

[*I need the two of you and Sky to go to the pond in the PD, and I need you to change to your natural form.*] I sent to them.

[*May I ask why?*] Fia asked sounding confused.

[*I'm bringing Mari up to the PD so she can live with us. I don't want to scare her with the three of you being in your human forms.*] I told Fia.

[*Oh! That makes since. I'll tell Sky. When can you get here?*] Fia asked.

[*You're coming home!?*] Wiene asked excitedly..

[*We'll be there as soon as the three of you can get to the PD and change to your natural forms.*] I told Fia.

[*I love you Eilwyn!*] Wiene exclaimed.

I chuckled at Wiene's excitement. [*I love you too, Wiene. I love you too Fia.*]

[*I love you, Eilwyn.*] Fia sent. I could feel her blushing.

[*Wiene, could you go tell lady Hestia to meet us in the PD as well?*] I asked Wiene.

[*I'll go tell lady Hestia right away.*] Wiene replied.

[*Thank you.*]

I closed the telepathic connection to Wiene and Fia and opened one to Iris and Kimmy.

[*I found Mari and I'm taking her to the PD at the Hearthstone Manor.*] I sent to Iris and Kimmy.

[*You found her already?*] Kimmy asked me.

[*Yes, we did. She's doing good. Cindy and I are doing good as well. We're going to take Mari back home and get her settled in. Then We'll come back.*] I informed them.

[*Do you want us to tell the party?*] Iris asked.

[*Ya, go ahead and tell them. But try to not let Luvis and his party know what's going on.*] I tell them.

[*We found Dormul and his party. Cassandra healed them.*] Kimmy told me.

[*Oh, that's good. We can talk about them when we get back.*] I added. There is no reason for Kimmy, Iris, Cindy and I to talk about Luvis's and Dormul's parties at the moment. I need to take Mari back home and get her settled in.

I close the link to Iris and Kimmy, then I look at Mari. "Are you ready to go see Fia?" I ask her.

"Yes! I want to see Fia!" Mari said excitedly clapping her hands.

"Close your eyes. This can be a little confusing if you keep your eyes open." I tell Mari.

I pick up Mari in my arms. Mari put her arms around my neck and lays her head on my shoulder. Once Mari's eye are closed and Cindy put a hand on my shoulder, I port us to our PD at Hearthstone Manor.

"You can open your eyes, now." I inform Mari.

Mari opened her eye, and they get as big as dinner plates. "Oh! This is wonderful!" Mari exclaimed as takes her arms from around my neck and starts clapping her hands again.

I leaned down and put Mari in the pond. "There ya go, and no monsters to worry about." I tell her.

"No monsters!? I don't have to hide from monster anymore?" Mari asked.

"Well, I have to make a small correction. There are monsters here, but they are Xenos. So, you don't have to hide from any of them." I corrected myself.

Mari stuck her arms straight out in front of herself, waving both hands back and forth. "Fia! Fia, Hello Fia!" Mari called to Fia.

Fia was walking towards Mari and me. She has a big smile on her face. "Hi Mari. It's good to see you again." Fia said to Mari.

"Eilwyn said I can live here." Mari added just as excitedly.

Sky walk up and puts her arms around me, giving me a hug. "I missed you.

I put my arms around sky and return the hug. "I missed you too." I dropped one arm keeping the other arm around Sky. I took half a step back and motioned to Mari.

"Sky, this is Mari. As you can see, she's a mermaid from the 26th floor. And if things go well, she will be living here with us." I tell Sky.

"So, another Xenos will be living here?" Sky said more as a statement than a question.

I smiled at Sky. "Yes, there will."

Sky looked at Mari and smiled. "Hello Mari. How are you?" Sky asked.

"Sky. Hi Sky. I'm doing good." Mari replied in her usual excited and somewhat childish way, while waving at Sky.

Hestia and Wiene walked into the PD at that time. When Wiene saw me, she ran over and threw her arms around me and gave me a hug. "I love you Eilwyn." Wiene told me.

I chuckled as I took my arm from around Sky and put my arms around Wiene and gave her a hug and I kissed her on the top of her head. I chuckled because most times I'm gone for a few hours, the next time Wiene sees me she tells me she loves me. It's sweet that she does it. "Love you too, Wiene." I told her.

I dropped my arms from around Wiene and turned to Mari. "Lady Hestia, Wiene, this is Mari." I started the introductions. "Mari, this is lady Hestia, the patron of our Familia." I put my hand on Hestia's shoulder. Then I moved my hand and put it on Wiene's back. "And this is Wiene." Wiene is in her Vouivre form at the moment.

Mari waves at both Hestia and Wiene. "Hello lady Hestia. Hello Wiene." Mari says cheerfully.

Wiene giggles at Mari's reaction to meeting her and Hestia. "Hi Mari. I'm glad to meet you." She tells Mari.

"Hello Mari. It is nice to meet you." Hestia tells Mari. Then she looks at me with a questioning look on her face.

"Another one?" Hestia askes me.

I shrug my shoulder and grin. "I believe I already told you about Mari." I said.

"Whatever." Hestia said and looked back at Mari and smiles.

Wiene leaned into me putting an arm around my waist. "Are you going to give Mari a Companion?" Wiene asked.

I nodded my head, yes. "I was planning to. I Just haven't had the time to do it, yet."

I turn to Mari. "Mari, would you like to be able to walk on the land?" I asked Mari.

Mari frowned. "I can't walk on land. I don't have legs." She stated the obvious.

I smiled at Mari. "I know you don't have legs. You see, I have given the other Xenos what I call Companions. These Companions give their partner several different abilities. One of those abilities is shapeshifting. That means if you have a Companion, you will be able to change your shape and look like a human or demi-human with legs. That way you would be able to walk on the land." I explain.

Mari jumped onto the shore and screeched. "AAAAHHHHH! I could walk!? I would be able to walk like you and Fia?" Mari asked excitedly.

I nodded my head, yes. "That's exactly what I'm saying. If you want a Companion, you will be able to walk on the land like Fia, Wiene and I can. You would be able to change into a few other animals too." I told her.

Mari started nodding her head up and down so fast I thought she might hurt herself. "I want a Companion, please. Please, please. I want to walk on land like my friends do."

An otter ran from around the house towards Mari.

Marie Mermaid (Age 14, 6' 3" long including tail) Level 2+ Automation Name; Paivi/F (Pronounced - Pie-vee) Mythical; Bakunawa (Sea krait and Lionfish) Intelligent L2 Strength L1 Agility L1 Speed L1 Durability L2 Regeneration L2 Teleportation L1 Sustenance L2 Elemental Blast L1 (Ice) Size L2 Magical L1 (Mending, Missile, servent or Cleaning) Flight Shapeshift L2 (Bakunawa - Sea krait and Lion Fish) See below Venom L1 (tail stinger, Paralisis) Elemental Blast; Ice Magical; Dancing Lights, Telekinesis, Invisibility

Shapeshift L2; Bakunawa (Sea krait and Lionfish), Demi-Human, Otter, Chocolate Labrador Retriever (because they have webbed paws and like the water), Hawk, Snow Leopard, Scorpion. Paivi can also turn into a mermaid with a Lionfish tail and spines. Bakunawa; A water dragon usually with no legs and sometimes has small wings or large fins.

Demi-Human Form: Cat Person

"Mari, this is Paivi. Your Companion. She is in her otter form right now. Her natural form is a Bakunawa. A kind of sea serpent. And I have to let you know that you and Paivi can talk to each other mind to mind. That means you will be able to hear what she is thinks in your head and she will be able to hear what you think in her head. Although you can both talk out loud to each other as well if you want to." I told Mari.

"But Paivi isn't a human." Mari said frowning.

I chuckled. "She came out in her otter form so she wouldn't scare anyone. Plus, we need to decide what her and your human or demi-human form will look like." I informed Mari.

Mari clapped her hands together. "I get to choose?" She asked me.

Again, I nodded my head, yes. "That's correct. You get to decide. Although one of her forms is a lionfish. That means she will also be able to change into a different kind of mermaid too. So anytime you want to go swimming the both of you can change into your mermaid forms and go swimming together." I add.

Mari clapped her hands again. "We can go swimming together. That will be fun." Mari said excitedly.

"Okay, now we need to figure out what Paivi's human form will be and what your human form will be." I told Mari with a smile on my face.

Mari nodded her head in agreement.

Mari and I talked for several minutes with the help of Fia, Sky, Hestia and Wiene. I also had Wiene get my laptop computer so I could show Mari some pictures of what she could look like.

Mari finally decided she wanted to look like a girl cat person and Paivi will look like a girl cat person as well.

"Now even though you will be able to turn into a cat person and have legs. You will have to learn how to walk. I'm sure everyone here will help you out as much as they can." I told Mari.

"I need to get back to the Dungeon. My Team is waiting for me." I told Mari and the others.

Mari frowned again. "You're leaving so soon?" She said sadly.

"Sorry, but I have to go. My friends need me down there. But I'll be back every day to let Hestia know what we have been doing. So, I'll see you every day, too. And in a few days, we'll be finished with our expedition, and I'll be back home for a while. While I'm gone, you'll have Fia, Sky, Wiene and lady Hestia to talk to. Plus, there are a few other people living here that you should get to meet shortly." I assured Mari.

Mari waved her hands at me, motioning me to come closer to her. I stepped up beside Mari and squatted down. Mari jumped up and flung her arms around my neck giving me a big hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, Eilwyn. Thank you for bringing me here." Mari said as she hugged me.

I put my arms around Mari and hugged her back. "You very welcome. Now I have to go." I told Mari as I took my arms from around her and started to stand up.

Mari let go of me and settled back down in the water with Paivi beside her.

"Oh, Paivi can tell you everything she can do, which means you will be able to do those things as well." I added.

I waved to Mari, and I turned to Hestia. "While I'm here I might as well give you the daily report." I said.

Hestia nodded her head in agreement, and we headed into the house. I told Hestia about the Moss Huge, about Luvis and then finding Mari. Hestia already knew most of what I had told her because of the Companions, Osma, being with us. Although she didn't know what happened with Cindy and I after we separated from the main group. Plus, she likes hearing someone tell her what we have been doing.

Completing my report, I ported Cindy and myself back to the Dungeon to the cliff at the beginning of the 25th floor. From there Cindy and I hurried to find our friends.

We jogged through crystal passageways and chambers, slowing down only to kill any monsters that happened to be in our path. And of course, we took the time to collect any magic stones and drop items from the monsters that we killed. We weren't going to pass up valis and our drop item quota just to save a little time. We were just wanting to rejoin our friends, even though they are not in danger of dying just because we aren't with them.

It only took us about thirty minutes to find our friends in the labyrinth of the Water City.

"Hello!" Cindy called as she saw Aisha a little ways away. "We're back!" she added.

Aisha turned and looked at the sound of Cindy's voice. When she saw who it was, she looked over her shoulder. "Manticore and Dragon are back." She informed the rest of the group.

Aisha turned back around towards us and called out. "That is obvious, or you wouldn't be talking to me, now would you." Aisha told Cindy.

I chuckled. "She's got you there Naʼashǫ́ʼiitsoh yázhí." I said to Cindy.

"No one asked you." Cindy said giving me a dirty look.

Most of the group had turned to look back at us when Aisha told them we were back.

Iris smiled and jumped up and down. She reminded me a little of Mari when she did that. "You're back! Is she safe? How is she getting along with everyone?" She asked excitedly.

"I gave her a Companions already." I started. "She's doing fine so far. Since Mari already knows Fia, they are getting along just fine. Hestia's a little irked that I brought another Xenos to live with us. But you know her, she was fine with Mari being there, by the time I left."

"That's good. I can't wait to meet Mari when we get back home." Iris added.

With Dormul's party and Luvis's party here with us and all of them being Whole and healthy. Some decisions need to be made.

==========

I turn to Dormul and Luvis. "I'm guessing y'all don't have enough supplies to stay down here much longer." I said.

Luvis looked at his battle party then back to me and nodded his head in agreement. "With all the fighting we did with that moss huge, we're almost out of food and healing potions." Luvis admitted.

I turned to Dormul who nodded in agreement as well. "You are correct. We have just enough to make it back to the surface." Dormul said.

I nodded my head in understanding. "I would suggest y'all head back up then. We don't have enough supplies to give out without having to cut our expedition short." I suggested.

Luvis nodded his head in agreement again. "That makes a lot of since. We will head to the surface." Luvis told me.

"Ya, we'll go as well. We wouldn't want to cut your expedition short because of us." Dormal responded.

"Go ahead and let the Guild know about the enhanced species we ran into and killed." I suggested.

"I'll make sure the Guild gets the report." Dormul told me.

Luvis puffed out his chest and thumped his thumb against his chest. "I personally will make the report to the Guild." Luvis said pompously.

Dormul took a step closer to Luvis. "I already said I would make the report to the guild." He told Luvis.

"I know how you'll make the report. I want the report to be accurate, so I will make the report to the Guild!" Luvis said emphatically.

Dormal raised his hand. "Why you…" He started but I cut him off.

"THAT IS ENOUGH!" I yelled shocking everyone there into silence.

"Stop the bickering and petty attitude. Dwarves are no better than Elves and Elves are no better than Dwarves. Both have their good points, and BOTH have their bad points. Learn to get along and you'll be a lot better off." I said commandingly.

Both Dormul and Luvis took a step back and looked at the ground in dejection. The members of their battle parties also looked at the ground as well.

It was silent for several moments before Luvis spoke up. "You are quite right Manticore. It is very difficult to get past old prejudice." He said contritely.

Dormal nodded his head in agreement. "Yes, it is hard to change how we are." Dormal added.

"You don't have to be best of friends. Just be amicable with each other." I told them.

"I know how the Elves feel about being touched by those they don't know or are not on friendly term with. So, I'm not going to have y'all seal your new relationship with a handshake, but I would suggest a fist bump. It still has contact with another person yet is is a very minimal contact." I offered.

I turned to Kimmy and held out my fist to her. Kimmy reached out her hand making a fist and lightly bumping our knuckles together as a demonstration of how to do a fist bump.

"No trying to break the other person's hand or fist. It is just a light tap of the fists." I made sure they understood.

Dormul and Luvis looked at each other for a moment or two before Dormul raised his hand and made a fist facing Luvis. Luvis looked at Dormul's first, then he looked over at me for a moment. He then looked over at his battle party then back to Dormal's fist. Luvis tentatively made a fist and raised it up to Dormul's fist and quickly bumped them together before returning his hand and arm to his side.

"See that didn't hurt one bit." I said breaking any tension there was.

"Not bad at all." Dormul admitted.

"I believe I could do that with non-elves." Luvis said.

"That's good. Now I would suggest y'all head to the surface." I told them.

Some of the members of both parties nodded their heads in agreement. "Good idea." Lena said as she started to make sure they had all the supplies remaining. "Let's get going."

The two parties did a quick check to see what they had before heading towards the 24th floor.

I watched the two parties walk away. I kept an eye on them until they were out of sight, then I turned to Bell. I waited a few more moments.

"Bell." I called to Bell.

"W-what, Eilwyn? What do you need?" Bell asked.

"I've seen something horrible that's going to happen shorty. So, we need to talk about what we are going to do about it." I inform Bell and the rest of our party.

"I-is it that bad?" Bell asked.

I nodded my head, yes. "It will get very bad." I told Bell.

"We need to go to a safe place so we can talk about it." I told Bell and the rest of our group.

I turned to Lili "Lili, where's the closest dead end?" I asked her.

Lili looked at the map she is holding in her hands for a moment. "Then she pointed down one of the tunnels. "There's a small room just a little way down that tunnel." Lili replied.

A few minutes later everyone is in smallish room with only one entrance to it.

"What's up Eilwyn?" Welf asked me.

"I'll tell everyone what is going on once we are inside the PD." I told Welf.

"Okay." Was Welf's only reply.

I opened a portal to one of the PD's. "Everyone inside." I instructed everyone.

Everyone started moving and entering the PD. Once everyone was inside, I close the portal so no monsters or anyone or anything else can get into the PD.

I lead everyone around the house to the patio.

"Girls, would you go get some drinks and snacks for everyone." I asked my Team.

Iris giggles. "We will." Iris said and headed into the house and to the kitchen. She's followed by Cindy, Rosni and Kimmy.

I created enough chairs for everyone to be able to sit and a couple tables set side by side so we can have something to put our food on as we talk.

"Everyone please take a seat." I offered.

Bell had taken a seat, but he stood back up after a moment. "Eilwyn, what is going on?" Bell asked me.

I wasn't going to beat around the bush, so I went straight ahead. "In a day or so, Gale Wind will be going after a member of Evilus. She will attack one adventurer on the 18th floor as well as be accused of killing another member of Evilus, and then head down here to the Water City. This is not really about Gale Wind though. The members of Evilus are the main story. He and some of his cohorts will scatter inferno stones so he can ignite them and destroy a large part of the Water City." I start.

"Why would anyone want to do that!? That's crazy!" Welf exclaimed.

"It is craze. But that is what happened during the nightmare on the 27th floor some six years ago…" I stopped because my Team was setting trays of drinks and snacks on the tables. "Thank you." I told my Team.

I reached out and took a glass of tea and placed in in front of myself. Most of the others at the table took the time to get drinks and some of the snacks.

Once everything settled down again.

"When that happened a Monster Rex was spawned. The Guild named it 'The Juggernaut'. It is extremely fast, dexterous and it can shield itself from physical attacks and magic attacks. It killed most of the adventurers that hadn't died in the explosion that destroyed the Water City." I finished explaining what had happened during the nightmare on the 27th floor.

"Why would they want to do that again?" Daphne asked.

"For one, they want to create havoc and chaos. Another reason is, the guy behind all of it this time wants to put a magic collar on the Juggernaut so he can make it one of his monsters. He's a monster tamer but he uses magic collars to control the monsters. Plus, he wants to kill Gale Wind in the prosses if he can." I answer Daphne's question.

"What are we going to do, then?" Lili asked.

"That's the reason for this meeting. Because the irregular moss huge was killed so soon it has changed what is going to happen. That being, Dormul and Luvis's parties would have had to be taken up to the 18th floor to be healed and to recover. But because that didn't happen, we don't have to take them back to the 18th floor. That leaves us with deciding what to do now. We can go back up to the 18th floor and wait for the false claim that Gale Wind killed someone, which means we will be conscripted into coming back down to the Water City. Or we can stay down here and see if we can get Gail Wind when she arrives and possibly stop the Evilus members from destroying a large portion of the Water City." I give the options of what we could do.

What I didn't tell them is, as soon as I have a chance, I'm going to use Restore Mind on Ryu aka Gale Wind. By doing that, Ryu will be able to get over her guilt of her battle party being killed during the nightmare on the 27th floor, while she survived.

"So, whatever happens, we will be back down here tomorrow?" Aisha asked.

I nodded my head in agreement. "If things go as they should, we will wind up back down here tomorrow sometime." I confirmed.

"Is there any way we can get out of coming back down here?" Lili asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I could port all of us back to Hearthstone Manor. But the problem with that is, Gale Wind will more than likely be killed along with dozens of adventurers. And there is no telling what the tamer will do with the Juggernaut once he has it under his control." I told Lili.

"That's not good. That's not good at all." Bell responded.

"No, it's not good." Welf agreed. "I suggest we stay down here and do what we can to help Gale wind out and stop that tamer." Welf added.

"What about the expedition? How are we going to complete our expedition?" Lili asked concerned that we won't be able to complete our original goal.

"It's not likely going to be able to finish the expedition. It will be cut short no matter what. Even if we stay here or head back out, by mid-day tomorrow we will be involved in the Evilus scheme if we want to be or not." I explained. "Although we could spend the next few hours working as hard as we can to get all of the drop items and other materials, we need to complete the exposition."

"I knew I shouldn't have come on this expedition with you guys." Aisha said half seriously, half joking.

"We will also have to get around Bors and the residence of Rivira. They will be headed down here tomorrow as well." I added.

"What are we going to do then?" Daphne asked and looked towards me.

#DanMachi #Monsters #Dungeon #Orario #Is it wrong to try to pick up girls in a dungeon #Hestia #Welf #Bell #Mikoto #Haruhime #Ouka

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messenger-of-stupidity · 1 year ago

Note

SHREK

Written by

William Steig & Ted Elliott

SHREK

Once upon a time there was a lovely

princess. But she had an enchantment

upon her of a fearful sort which could

only be broken by love's first kiss.

She was locked away in a castle guarded

by a terrible fire-breathing dragon.

Many brave knights had attempted to

free her from this dreadful prison,

but non prevailed. She waited in the

dragon's keep in the highest room of

the tallest tower for her true love

and true love's first kiss. (laughs)

Like that's ever gonna happen. What

a load of - (toilet flush)

Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his

day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go

after the ogre.

NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME

MAN1

Think it's in there?

MAN2

All right. Let's get it!

MAN1

Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that

thing can do to you?

MAN3

Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's

bread.

Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.

SHREK

Yes, well, actually, that would be a

giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse.

They'll make a suit from your freshly

peeled skin.

MEN

No!

SHREK

They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the

jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's

quite good on toast.

MAN1

Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!

(waves the torch at Shrek.)

Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The

men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long

and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the

men are in the dark.

SHREK

This is the part where you run away.

(The men scramble to get away. He laughs.)

And stay out! (looks down and picks

up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted.

Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and

throws the paper over his shoulder.)

THE NEXT DAY

There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard

sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures

to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line

are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto

who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three

little pigs.

GUARD

All right. This one's full. Take it

away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!

HEAD GUARD

Next!

GUARD

(taking the witch's broom) Give me that!

Your flying days are over. (breaks the

broom in half)

HEAD GUARD

That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch.

Next!

GUARD

Get up! Come on!

HEAD GUARD

Twenty pieces.

LITTLE BEAR

(crying) This cage is too small.

DONKEY

Please, don't turn me in. I'll never

be stubborn again. I can change. Please!

Give me another chance!

OLD WOMAN

Oh, shut up. (jerks his rope)

DONKEY

Oh!

HEAD GUARD

Next! What have you got?

GIPETTO

This little wooden puppet.

PINOCCHIO

I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his

nose grows)

HEAD GUARD

Five shillings for the possessed toy.

Take it away.

PINOCCHIO

Father, please! Don't let them do this!

Help me!

Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up

to the table.

HEAD GUARD

Next! What have you got?

OLD WOMAN

Well, I've got a talking donkey.

HEAD GUARD

Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings,

if you can prove it.

OLD WOMAN

Oh, go ahead, little fella.

Donkey just looks up at her.

HEAD GUARD

Well?

OLD WOMAN

Oh, oh, he's just...he's just a little

nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox.

Talk, you boneheaded dolt...

HEAD GUARD

That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!

OLD WOMAN

No, no, he talks! He does. (pretends

to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to

talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing

you ever saw.

HEAD GUARD

Get her out of my sight.

OLD WOMAN

No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!

The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One

of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's

hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled

with fairy dust and he's able to fly.

DONKEY

Hey! I can fly!

PETER PAN

He can fly!

3 LITTLE PIGS

He can fly!

HEAD GUARD

He can talk!

DONKEY

Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm

a flying, talking donkey. You might

have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly

but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey

fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins

to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink

to the ground.)

He hits the ground with a thud.

HEAD GUARD

Seize him! (Donkey takes of running.)

After him!

GUARDS

He's getting away! Get him! This way!

Turn!

Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally.

Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared

for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He

quickly hides behind Shrek.

HEAD GUARD

You there. Ogre!

SHREK

Aye?

HEAD GUARD

By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized

to place you both under arrest and transport

you to a designated resettlement facility.

SHREK

Oh, really? You and what army?

He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well

and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail

and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and

begins walking back to his cottage.

DONKEY

Can I say something to you? Listen,

you was really, really, really somethin'

back here. Incredible!

SHREK

Are you talkin' to...(he turns around

and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back

around and Donkey is right in front

of him.) Whoa!

DONKEY

Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell

you that you that you was great back

here? Those guards! They thought they

was all of that. Then you showed up,

and bam! They was trippin' over themselves

like babes in the woods. That really

made me feel good to see that.

SHREK

Oh, that's great. Really.

DONKEY

Man, it's good to be free.

SHREK

Now, why don't you go celebrate your

freedom with your own friends? Hmm?

DONKEY

But, uh, I don't have any friends. And

I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey,

wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll

stick with you. You're mean, green,

fightin' machine. Together we'll scare

the spit out of anybody that crosses

us.

Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very

loudly.

DONKEY

Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you

don't mind me sayin', if that don't

work, your breath certainly will get

the job done, 'cause you definitely

need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause

you breath stinks! You almost burned

the hair outta my nose, just like the

time...(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey

continues to talk, so Shrek removes

his hand.) ...then I ate some rotten

berries. I had strong gases leaking

out of my butt that day.

SHREK

Why are you following me?

DONKEY

I'll tell you why. (singing) 'Cause

I'm all alone, There's no one here beside

me, My problems have all gone, There's

no one to deride me, But you gotta have

faith...

SHREK

Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't

have any friends.

DONKEY

Wow. Only a true friend would be that

cruelly honest.

SHREK

Listen, little donkey. Take a look at

me. What am I?

DONKEY

(looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh ...really

tall?

SHREK

No! I'm an ogre! You know. "Grab your

torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that

bother you?

DONKEY

Nope.

SHREK

Really?

DONKEY

Really, really.

SHREK

Oh.

DONKEY

Man, I like you. What's you name?

SHREK

Uh, Shrek.

DONKEY

Shrek? Well, you know what I like about

you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me

thing. I like that. I respect that,

Shrek. You all right. (They come over

a hill and you can see Shrek's cottage.)

Whoa! Look at that. Who'd want to live

in place like that?

SHREK

That would be my home.

DONKEY

Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful.

You know you are quite a decorator.

It's amazing what you've done with such

a modest budget. I like that boulder.

That is a nice boulder. I guess you

don't entertain much, do you?

SHREK

I like my privacy.

DONKEY

You know, I do too. That's another thing

we have in common. Like I hate it when

you got somebody in your face. You've

trying to give them a hint, and they

won't leave. There's that awkward silence.

(awkward silence) Can I stay with you?

SHREK

Uh, what?

DONKEY

Can I stay with you, please?

SHREK

(sarcastically) Of course!

DONKEY

Really?

SHREK

No.

DONKEY

Please! I don't wanna go back there!

You don't know what it's like to be

considered a freak. (pause while he

looks at Shrek) Well, maybe you do.

But that's why we gotta stick together.

You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!

SHREK

Okay! Okay! But one night only.

DONKEY

Ah! Thank you! (he runs inside the cottage)

SHREK

What are you...? (Donkey hops up onto

a chair.) No! No!

DONKEY

This is gonna be fun! We can stay up

late, swappin' manly stories, and in

the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.

SHREK

Oh!

DONKEY

Where do, uh, I sleep?

SHREK

(irritated) Outside!

DONKEY

Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean,

I don't know you, and you don't know

me, so I guess outside is best, you

know. Here I go. Good night. (Shrek

slams the door.) (sigh) I mean, I do

like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was

born outside. I'll just be sitting by

myself outside, I guess, you know. By

myself, outside. I'm all alone...there's

no one here beside me...

SHREK'S COTTAGE - NIGHT

Shrek is getting ready for dinner. He sits himself down and lights

a candle made out of earwax. He begins to eat when he hears a

noise. He stands up with a huff.

SHREK

(to Donkey) I thought I told you to

stay outside.

DONKEY

(from the window) I am outside.

There is another noise and Shrek turns to find the person that

made the noise. He sees several shadows moving. He finally turns

and spots 3 blind mice on his table.

BLIND MOUSE1

Well, gents, it's a far cry from the

farm, but what choice do we have?

BLIND MOUSE2

It's not home, but it'll do just fine.

GORDO

(bouncing on a slug) What a lovely bed.

SHREK

Got ya. (Grabs a mouse, but it escapes

and lands on his shoulder.)

GORDO

I found some cheese. (bites Shrek's

ear)

SHREK

Ow!

GORDO

Blah! Awful stuff.

BLIND MOUSE1

Is that you, Gordo?

GORDO

How did you know?

SHREK

Enough! (he grabs the 3 mice) What are

you doing in my house? (He gets bumped

from behind and he drops the mice.)

Hey! (he turns and sees the Seven Dwarves

with Snow White on the table.) Oh, no,

no, no. Dead broad off the table.

DWARF

Where are we supposed to put her? The

bed's taken.

SHREK

Huh?

Shrek marches over to the bedroom and throws back the curtain.

The Big Bad Wolf is sitting in the bed. The wolf just looks at

him.

BIG BAD WOLF

What?

TIME LAPSE

Shrek now has the Big Bad Wolf by the collar and is dragging

him to the front door.

SHREK

I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm

a terrifying ogre! What do I have to

do get a little privacy? (He opens the

front door to throw the Wolf out and

he sees that all the collected Fairy

Tale Creatures are on his land.) Oh,

no. No! No!

The 3 bears sit around the fire, the pied piper is playing his

pipe and the rats are all running to him, some elves are directing

flight traffic so that the fairies and witches can land...etc.

SHREK

What are you doing in my swamp? (this

echoes and everyone falls silent.)

Gasps are heard all around. The 3 good fairies hide inside a

tent.

SHREK

All right, get out of here. All of you,

move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya!

Hapaya! Hey! Quickly. Come on! (more

dwarves run inside the house) No, no!

No, no. Not there. Not there. (they

shut the door on him) Oh! (turns to

look at Donkey)

DONKEY

Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite

them.

PINOCCHIO

Oh, gosh, no one invited us.

SHREK

What?

PINOCCHIO

We were forced to come here.

SHREK

(flabbergasted) By who?

LITTLE PIG

Lord Farquaad. He huffed and he puffed

and he...signed an eviction notice.

SHREK

(heavy sigh) All right. Who knows where

this Farquaad guy is?

Everyone looks around at each other but no one answers.

DONKEY

Oh, I do. I know where he is.

SHREK

Does anyone else know where to find

him? Anyone at all?

DONKEY

Me! Me!

SHREK

Anyone?

DONKEY

Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know!

Me, me!

SHREK

(sigh) Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy

tale things. Do not get comfortable.

Your welcome is officially worn out.

In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad

right now and get you all off my land

and back where you came from! (Pause.

Then the crowd goes wild.) Oh! (to Donkey)

You! You're comin' with me.

DONKEY

All right, that's what I like to hear,

man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart

friends, off on a whirlwind big-city

adventure. I love it!

DONKEY

(singing) On the road again. Sing it

with me, Shrek. I can't wait to get

on the road again.

SHREK

What did I say about singing?

DONKEY

Can I whistle?

SHREK

No.

DONKEY

Can I hum it?

SHREK

All right, hum it.

Donkey begins to hum 'On the Road Again'.

DULOC - KITCHEN

A masked man is torturing the Gingerbread Man. He's continually

dunking him in a glass of milk. Lord Farquaad walks in.

FARQUAAD

That's enough. He's ready to talk.

The Gingerbread Man is pulled out of the milk and slammed down

onto a cookie sheet. Farquaad laughs as he walks over to the

table. However when he reaches the table we see that it goes

up to his eyes. He clears his throat and the table is lowered.

FARQUAAD

(he picks up the Gingerbread Man's legs

and plays with them) Run, run, run,

as fast as you can. You can't catch

me. I'm the gingerbread man.

GINGERBREAD MAN

You are a monster.

FARQUAAD

I'm not the monster here. You are. You

and the rest of that fairy tale trash,

poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell

me! Where are the others?

GINGERBREAD MAN

Eat me! (He spits milk into Farquaad's

eye.)

FARQUAAD

I've tried to be fair to you creatures.

Now my patience has reached its end!

Tell me or I'll...(he makes as if to

pull off the Gingerbread Man's buttons)

GINGERBREAD MAN

No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop

buttons.

FARQUAAD

All right then. Who's hiding them?

GINGERBREAD MAN

Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the

muffin man?

FARQUAAD

The muffin man?

GINGERBREAD MAN

The muffin man.

FARQUAAD

Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives

on Drury Lane?

GINGERBREAD MAN

Well, she's married to the muffin man.

FARQUAAD

The muffin man?

GINGERBREAD MAN

The muffin man!

FARQUAAD

She's married to the muffin man.

The door opens and the Head Guard walks in.

HEAD GUARD

My lord! We found it.

FARQUAAD

Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.

More guards enter carrying something that is covered by a sheet.

They hang up whatever it is and remove the sheet. It is the Magic Mirror.

GINGERBREAD MAN

(in awe) Ohhhh...

FARQUAAD

Magic mirror...

Daddy?

#im going to war now #gotta find another script to send you 😎#messenger of answers #hi t4ll!

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