#you know the great thing abt this book is in some ways it allows for you to make the story whatever tf you like rly

[moonstruckme]

hi, how are you?

really move your writing, it has def helped me through tough times, so thank you for that so much, I cannot tell you how much appreciation I carry for you

I was wondering, since you are okay with writing about self harm scars (I think, if I understand your list or off-limit request stuff correctly, if not, sorry, then just ignore this) if you would maybe write something with Sirius x reader, where maybe r isn’t feeling all that great abt her scars (preferably on her thighs, but if not also totally fine) and Sirius draws on them and reassures her and all that stuff

Hope you have a great day, sending you lots of love

Sending love back angel <3

cw: past self harm, discussion of scars

Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 922 words

“What’s that supposed to be?”

“Gorgeous, you can cut the shit. We both know I’m a modern Poussin.” 

You smile, radiant in the sunlight spilling into your sitting room. You came here to read, but Sirius was hellbent on distracting you, and as always he’s succeeded. Your book has been long since closed, the two of you lazing the day away with kisses and go-nowhere conversations while Sirius draws on your skin in black ink. 

“You’ve just said some obscure artist to show off,” you accuse. “You know I don’t know who that is.” 

“Yes, well, two can play at the game of belittlement.” 

Sirius is quite obviously drawing clouds. They live in the crook of your elbow, and they’re perfectly nebulous. You’re only pretending not to know because you enjoy playing with him. Luckily for you, Sirius enjoys letting you. 

“Is there going to be a sun?” you ask after a while. 

“Don’t need one. That’s you already, sunshine.” 

You make a phony groaning sound, clearly delighted. “You’re so cheesy.” 

“I know. See what you’ve done to me?” Sirius grins, tilting his head up for a kiss. 

You indulge him. You’re in an indulgent mood, all sun-warmed and languorous, reclining against the cushions like a goddess. You wouldn’t likely let him doodle all over you otherwise. Sirius is taking advantage of a rare opportunity. 

He goes back to work, adding some raindrops and then stars trailing up your arm. He thinks you’re dozing, but when Sirius turns to look at you again your expression has gone solemn. You’re looking down at your own lap like it’s a piece of gum stuck to your shoe. 

Your scars bother you, sometimes. Sirius can never really predict when those times will be—it depends on your mood, how often you’ve been thinking about them, and a slew of other things inside that lovely head of yours—but here in the sunlight he can see how you got hung up. They’re showier than usual, light and shimmery in the crease of your thighs. Faded, but there. 

Sirius puts his hand over them. Not to cover, but to caress. 

You seem to snap out of your reverie. “Sorry,” you say. 

“What for?” he asks. 

It’s a trick question and you know it. You’re silent for a time. Silence is not usually Sirius’ favorite thing, but he lets it lie, stroking his index finger over your leg. 

“I’m just,” you admit in a soft voice, “not liking them very much lately.” 

“Yeah?” He looks up at you, seeking. “Have you been feeling okay?” 

“Yeah. I have, really.” 

“You’d tell me if not?” 

You nod. Not quite looking at him, but Sirius knows that’s more evidence of shame than dishonesty. You trust him, and he trusts you. 

“I don’t think you have to like them, baby.” He kisses gently beside your chin. “I’d like it if you didn’t hate them, but I know you can’t always help it.” 

“I don’t know if I hate them.” Your eyes seem glued to where Sirius is rubbing your leg. Your voice is small. “I just…sometimes I don’t care if people see them, but other times they feel so embarrassing.” 

Sirius scoffs. “Well, that’s silly.” 

You frown. “Why?” 

“Because,” he says, uncapping his pen again. You don’t stop him when he starts drawing small flowers over and in between your lines. “I—look, you’re allowed to feel any way you want about them, okay? Obviously. But the way I see it, they’re just something that happened to you.”

Admittedly, Sirius didn’t always feel that way. When he first saw them, he’d been angry—at you, at your brain, at anyone and anything that had ever made you feel awful enough to do this to yourself—but it hadn’t taken long for that initial wrath to deliquesce into a wet, formless sorrow. Sirius doesn’t like not having anyone to blame. He likes thinking of the people he loves hurting even less. But it was a reality for you at one time, and there’s nothing either of you can do about it now. All Sirius wants now is to keep enough light in your present that maybe someday it washes out the past. It may never happen, but he can hope. And he can hold your hand no matter what.

He twines the fingers of his free hand loosely with yours, making looping lines for petals on your leg. 

“I don’t like that they did happen,” he admits, “but I don’t like that I broke my arm in fourth year either.” He senses your eyes going to the scar on his forearm. Once large and long, but now faded. “Nothing we can really do about them, though.” 

You hum. “Yours was an accident.” 

“I know,” Sirius murmurs. He looks at you. “I know they’re not the same thing, baby. But I don’t think you wanted your scars any more than I wanted mine, right?” 

You hold his eyes this time, your gaze tentative but full of love. “No.” 

“Right.” He kisses you. Lingers until you soften into it, your lips parting for him. Sirius pecks the corner of your mouth once he’s done. “So, you just keep talking to me, and I’ll tell you when you have something to be embarrassed about. Okay?” 

Your smile comes almost unwillingly, your eyes slipping from his to look at the blooming garden covering your legs. “Okay,” you say. 

“There’s my girl. Now, do you think it would tickle terribly if I drew a circus on the bottom of your foot?” 

“Yes.” 

“Perfect.”

[wcbblife]

Ok I have another one, can you do juju x fem reader where reader is on live and she’s reading comments and someone says “ juju mid asf” and reader defends her by saying “ juju and mid don’t belong together in a sentence unless ‘not is between them’ ” or something like that (idk I was half asleep when i wrote this in my notes so you can change that if you want 😭). Then blocks the person cause she doesn’t allow anyone to talk abt her gf like that . Then juju gets sent the live from her teammates, so she txt reader or post it on twitter saying “my girl 🫡” or something 😭 I just had to write it in my notes before I forgot bruh 😭

Live Love

a/n: Kinda cheesy and short but I like it ngl. Hope you like it anon!

You’re live, chatting with your followers, enjoying the rush of interactions. The comments are flowing in, and you're responding to questions. After seeing fans online practically begging for you to go live following the volleyball team’s tournament win at home, you figured it’d be a great way to kill time while waiting at the airport for your next game. It was mostly fun, a comforting distraction.

You scroll through the comments, selecting a few to answer.

What’s your favorite thing to do on a day off?

“Great question! Honestly, I love just chilling at home, maybe cooking something new or catching up on shows. If Juju’s free, we’ll go grab some food or watch a movie. It’s all about relaxing and recharging.”

More questions flood the chat, and you pick another one.

Any book recommendations?

“Absolutely! I’ve been reading ‘The Song of Achilles’ lately. The writing is beautiful and so immersive. Highly recommend it. It’s a bit sad, though, so read it if you’re into that.”

Do you have any pets?

“Juju got a little puppy recently. You guys should see him—he’s the cutest. Juju calls him our kid now.”

As you continue engaging with the audience, the flood of comments and emojis feels like a warm embrace. But then, a comment stops you in your tracks, and your smile falters.

juju mid asf 😂

You pause, staring at the screen in disbelief. Juju’s been working tirelessly and seeing someone dismiss her like this hits unexpectedly hard. You take a deep breath, trying to calm the fire spreading through your body.

“Now I know I ain’t just read what I think I did, right? Juju mid as fuck? Don’t overstep. Juju’s my girlfriend. Juju and ‘mid’ don’t belong in the same sentence unless ‘not’ is between them, and I’m not going to stand by while people talk down about her in front of me.”

You pause, steadying your voice, determined to stand your ground.

“Keep her name out of your mouth. She’s achieved so much, and she deserves respect, not baseless criticism. You’re not going to get on my live and talk bad about my girlfriend, that’s for sure. I’m blocking you, bruh. Get out of here with that. If you don't have anything nice to say, shut your mouth. Let’s keep the vibes positive.”

Blocking the user brings a wave of satisfaction and relief. You continue engaging with your followers, but a part of you is still buzzing from the need to defend Juju.

“Alrighty, y’all, I’ll have to cut the Q&A short. We have to get on the plane now. Peace!”

Meanwhile, Juju’s phone buzzes with notifications. Her teammates have sent her clips from your live stream that fans had recorded and posted on TikTok. Watching, she feels a swell of pride.

Feeling touched and a bit playful, Juju opens Twitter to share a thought:

“My girl 🫡 #Proud #NotMid”

Shortly after her tweet, your phone vibrates with a text from Juju.

“Saw your live. Thanks for having my back. You’re amazing.”

A smile spreads across your face.

“About to take off. Love you.”

“I love you too, babe. Call me when you land.”

[everytimewetouch-dot-mp3]

Okay WHAT is Oh look it's Gilgamesh

wip game post here!

oooouuugh yay ok i was hoping someone would ask about this one. it’s a modern au binggeyuan inspired by this post i made a billion years ago.

i’m in the exploratory phase of this one too, but i’ve been putting a lot more work into it lately bc it has become my 2025 writing goal lmao. i’ll talk abt it under the cut :D

…so i just finished writing and it’s a little longer than i anticipated. tl;dr: what if satan from the actual literal bible crawled out of hell and told the pope that he wanted to be friends now because there’s something much worse than himself down there.

so the idea is that luo binghe is a mythological figure somewhat like gilgamesh or odysseus but ‘evil.’ he’s a heavenly demon who, after countless cruelties, decided to take his revenge on the world by inflicting that cruelty a thousandfold. the stories go that he was born in a bid to broker peace between the demons and the humans, but huan hua’s palace master tried to sabotage sxy’s pregnancy and wound up killing her. tlj, in his grief, allowed himself to be captured by human cultivators so that he could plot his revenge in peace.

then we get lbh’s life, being cast into the abyss, coming back and taking his revenge. just when he and his father are about to merge the realms, the human cultivators sacrificed themselves to seal him, his father, and the entire demonic realm behind impossibly powerful arrays. the abyss and demon realm have merged, but the human realm is safe. to protect humanity, the few remaining cultivators hid knowledge of the jianghu and the secrets of cultivation, which explains why there are no immortal cultivators anymore.

there are legends and books and movies and operas retelling this story, always celebrating the heroic cultivators who sacrificed their lives for the rest of humanity and vilifying the endless cruelty of the demons. shen yuan has heard these stories since he was a little kid. you know how some kids have their ancient egypt phase? sy had a ‘myths about luo binghe’ phase, and it never ended. when the story starts, he’s a doctoral candidate writing his dissertation reconstructing luo binghe as a real historical person (which he was) and finding the real events that inspired the myths. he’s been officially working on it for five years at this point, but the dude really started when he was like 12. he kind of despises some of the retellings of luo binghe’s story, because they all vilify him with no compassion, and he feels binghe’s story is less a triumph of humanity and more a tragedy on all sides.

there is no retelling he hates more than proud immortal demon way. the author caricaturizes luo binghe and uses his story to sell shitty porn cranked out at an inhuman pace, and shen yuan thinks it’s despicable. he has to read every chapter just so he knows what this piece of shit author is doing to his favorite character. that’s the only reason why.

at one point, shen yuan is interviewing some people associated with the supposed descendants of the four great sects in the legends, and while he’s there, there’s an earthquake. someone rushes in wielding an actual real life sword? a real sword. that’s glowing a little bit? maybe shen yuan got hit on the head… but no that sword is definitely glowing a little bit. and he says ‘the seal has cracked.’

suddenly the stories aren’t stories anymore, and shen yuan doesn’t know how to keep his nose out of things—he wants to be there if/when luo binghe comes out. right now it’s just monsters, and it turns out the so-called cultivators were…real cultivators. and they’re fighting abyssal beasts.

they expect luo binghe to emerge commanding armies of demons and beasts as he demands his revenge on humanity, but instead he fights his way out, a crazed look in his eye, and insists that he’s going to help the cultivators seal the rift. he won’t take no for an answer. he refuses to allow those beasts to destroy humanity.

[padfootswhiskers]

With all respect, I think u guys give jkr's writing skill too much credit . Ik she said she planned everything abt hp books from the beginning( I don't believeit tbh), but she wrote some of the weirdest dumb stuff ever for the sake of the plot that don't make any sense ... Remus's life and even his name, for example.The fact that Remus hasn't visited Harry for almost 12yrs is ridiculous . "He thought Harry was safe - he felt worthless. He was a coward. " wtf?! No he didn't do it bc Harry shouldn't know abt his parents and wizarding world the End. srslyWheree were lily's friends? Oh they all passed away...Harry's grandparents THEY ALL PASSED AWAY ...problem solved (jkr is so good at this) and plus imo that also happened simply bc if Remus checked on Harry, he would be a father figure to him 100% (the role given to Sirius), and jkr didn't want Harry to have the same close connection with Remus as he did with Sirius. It would make harry -Sirius's relationship unimportant... Take Sirius's other relationships, for example. When he escaped Azkaban, he had no family, no lover, no one. Initially, I was like, "Yeah, okay," and that seemed fine. But later, it occurred to me that maybe he was written that way because he had to be solely for Harry. Like, he shouldn't care about anyone but Harry. Sirius isn't allowed to prioritize anyone over his godson.

to be fair, anon, i think two things can be true at the same time. a lot of stuff does happen in the hp universe for plot reasons---this doesn't necessarily mean it's always bad writing.

the plot required harry to be unaware of the wizarding world, alright. i don't see how this means remus would've taken, like, custody of harry or something if it hadn't! remus IS a coward. he IS extremely self flagellating. it IS completely plausible that he knew petunia wasn't a great person and left harry there anyway!

(take DH for example. he says tonks will be safe with her parents right after he tells them that her parents have been tortured for information. he isn't a stupid man, he's being deliberately cowardly.)

i understand that you probably really like remus, or at least the good bits of him, but character traits you dislike do not equal bad writing. remus consistently shows himself to be extremely passive-aggressive, conflict avoidant and unable to actually follow through on his conscience. i don't know about you, anon, but i can definitely see a man who convinced himself that withholding information about a wanted murderer was OK, convincing himself that harry is safe and better off without him.

jkr didn't have to use plot reasons to thwart remus and harry's budding relationship so that sirius could step in because...there isn't a scenario that exists wherein canon remus would step in to be an orphaned harry's father figure. i'm genuinely curious as to why you think he might. THAT, if anything, is what seems ooc to me.

as for lily, that seems to be pattern with jkr's 'popular girls'. i can't name five of ginny's friends if my life depended on it. it was also obviously done so that the snape reveal would have a greater effect. but lily isn't an established character the same way remus is.

as for sirius? i don't think it's unrealistic that he didn't have a lover/anyone waiting for him. i think people tend to forget he was only barely 22 when he got locked up; plenty of people haven't begun sorting out their lives at that age. lest we forget, he was also fighting a war pretty much the second he left hogwarts. not great for the dating scene, that. i don't think it's unrealistic at all that he hadn't thought about girls (or boys) or settling down at that time in his life.

but even if he had, i can't fathom a world in which he wouldn't transfer the love and devotion he had for james to james' son.

[sharkwithfeelings]

ik there’s a lot of sarah j maas discourse rn, in general a lot of ya/na fantasy authors are getting looked at with a more critical eye, but i haven’t seen much abt the illyrians of the night court, who are undoubtedly indigenous-coded, and for the most part seem to be a mix of a lot of different indigenous cultures.

like, they live in mountain villages, they’re an old race of faeries, they have warrior cultures, and they’re generally described as being dark-haired and darker skinned than a lot of the other faeries in the series. and, i will admit, i haven’t read the books since middle/beginning of high school, but it’s kind of hard to forget that illyrians were at once portrayed as uncivilized but also extremely practiced in the art of war to a degree that they were a resource to the main characters in their times of need.

all the og members of the Valeris Squad (or whatever they call themselves i can’t remember) describe illyrians as “backwards” and “savage.” the illyrians are also known to beat kids, make them compete in blood sport, and they clip the wings of female illyrians so that they can’t fly and are reduced to only being housewives. they have a rich culture of tattooing, which most indigenous societies have. it’s an insanely patriarchal society that rhys and cassian and azriel are single-handedly fixing. their rites of passage into warrior status are centuries old and their communities have existed in the mountains for like forever. they’re undoubtedly supposed to be native, 100%.

and while there is plenty to be said abt how some cultures operate with regards so how they treat children and women (cultural relativism gets messy), i don’t think this is how you go about doing that. not to mention, the book doesn’t position “reeducating the illyrians” as a discussion on how one incorporates equality into a culture, it’s just like another thing that the Bat Boys do to seem like they’re more moral. the maybe only saving grace is that they grew up in the culture, so it’s not like they’re outsiders coming in and being like “your traditions are evil and bad, change them,” but i don’t know why they had to be constructed that way in the first place.

it’s weird, idk, i just think fiction is such a great place for exploration and education about how to deal with the real world but with much lower stakes, and i hate to see popular fantasy neglecting the fact that it should take real-world issues seriously, and that you can do that while also being a popular series. indigenous people across the world are systematically stolen from, colonized, and erased from the annals of history because other people step in and say, “hey we don’t like the way you do things, this is much better,” and again, yeah, some of the practices of the illyrians are pretty harmful, but how is their only good contribution to the world that they know how to do war good??? they don’t have anything else of value, they just fight and kill??? like that’s not accurate indigenous writing, that’s just harmful stereotypes.

there’s plenty more to say abt a lot of authors in the fantasy space, especially right now when so many ppl are getting book deals just for blowing up on tiktok, which i’m slightly conflicted by because more books getting published is good but also like, what books are we allowing to go to press? anywayyyy, just some thoughts

[im-out-of-it]

omg im glad to see an anti cc blog lol. you are so based about everything btw. especially abt clace's insufferableness in the books. like clare desperately wants the reader to like them that its kinda pitiful lmao. i remember reading tda and every scene with clary/jace (but esp clary) will have emma think about wHaT A HeRO the great clary is and how strong she is blah blah blah as if we weren't treated to six books of them being absolutely self absorbed and awful. and its insane how she's praised for "representation" when all of her books (bar TLH) mains are some iteration of a an earth shattering forbidden love™ couple (nvm that they are all straight white and conventionally attractive lmao). and speaking of tlh, did she even try with that series? ig she knows that all she needed was to create another tortured herondale boy and her hardcore fans will eat it up just the same lol. dont even get me started on her treatment of lgbtq and poc characters srry for the long rant

PSA: LONG RANT COMING UP BECAUSE NOW YOU GOT ME HEATED LMAO

NO PLEASE RANT I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE RANT TO ME IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY THIS IS A SAFE PLACE I PROMISE

it’s funny when ill accidentally see a post about people praising representation and acting like CC can’t do no wrong. she’s so problematic as a person and a writer too. she has incest in literally all of her books. I think it’s the worst in TMI for sure because not only does she make clary and jace be attracted to each other and then says hahahaha just kidding, they’re not actually related but she takes it a step further and says “well just to show how evil jonathon is, let’s have him try to get with clary” was that really necessary???? NO IT FUCKING WASNT. we know he’s evil. she can’t ever show anything either, she has to have someone say it. “oh he’s good” about Alec being consul. WE KNOW THAT BUT NOW YOU RUINED IT.

she doesn’t know how to write trauma. everything that clary goes through, she should be able to process that. but does she get that? no she has to make everything about how jace feels. it’s really uncomfortable how obsessed she is with Jace and how clary is her self insert. James literally gets abused by grace and he’s not allowed to really process that. Alastair has a toxic shit deadbeat daddy but does he get to process that? no because Alastair doesn’t get to process anything. don’t worry if his ex treated him like shit because if Charles almost dies, Alastair gets manipulated into taking care of said abusive ex

ma’am you are 50+ years of age and you’re writing about teens having sex, being abused, misrepresenting lgbtq+ characters, treating POC characters as if they’re nothing, oversexualizing teen girls, like please go seek some help. it amazes me that these books are targeted for the young audience. the way she sexualizes Cordelia is INSANE. MA’AM SHE IS A TEEN AND YOU ARE WRITING ABOUT HER BREASTS EACH TIME YOU GET. PLEASE SEEK THERAPY

TDA could have been good but she makes this whole forbidden love way over the top. we had six books of clace, we don’t need another. Julian and Emma are just as insufferable as jace and clary. CC uses any excuse to include clace as if we didn’t suffer enough from them. she could’ve made it interesting and made it about the new generation but instead she has to have Emma be obsessed with clary, calling her a hero.

JACE AND CLARY WOULD BE DEAD IF IT WERENT FOR ALEC IZZY MAGNUS ETC. Alec never gets any appreciation and I’m about to end this rant because book Alec is another thing I could go off about. he always has to think about jace and no way can Alec ever have his own life or thoughts because everyone has to be obsessed with Jace. CC tries so hard to make everything about jace and to show us hey he’s actually really cool and hot and I love him so you guys have to love him too. honestly TDA is so messy. I don’t even like Robert but he didn’t deserve that. the last thing we needed was another jace. we could’ve had a cool AU storyline but once again, CC wants to make us all suffer another version of a jace because the first one didn’t get to stay long enough

and her way of having downworlders be evil but trying to praise shadowhunters is really weird. they all have to be punished but shadowhunters like jace can come and attack wolves and pay zero consequences for everything he does. Will treats everyone like shit but gets a label fake curse put on him and it’s accepted. if a downworlder does something bad, they must be punished but I don’t ever see shadowhunters being punished as severely. the whole incest thing has to be praised and she has a villain say oh gross clace tried to fuck while they thought they were siblings just to have Emma defend it

TLH: CC did not give a flying fuck about TLH and no one can convince me otherwise. she did not care about it. while Malec does get a very shitty treatment in all her books (yes even TDA) thomastair does get treated slightly better but there’s still improvement to be made. every single book CC writes about shadowhunters, it’s always focused on a herondale. some are blackthorns but they all have the same traits too: bringing people from the dead as if that’s all they’re good for. herondales: they all have traits of jace. I would say James and Kit aren’t as bad as the rest, but they’re still pretty insufferable and I’m sure she will make Kit just as bad. she will destroy him, I know for sure she will. and I’m sure she will make jace some hero to Kit.

but anyways TLH could have been great. it had the potential. Thomas, Alastair, Matthew, Christopher, Anna, Ari are all very complex characters. they’re all great but CC turned this into very lazy writing. there’s too much miscommunication. too much of it is focused on James and Cordelia. Alastair literally gets one pov and it’s just one page. JUST ONE PAGE. Cordelia spies, treats Alastair badly and it’s never not once mentioned. Cordelia and Lucie had no right to be parabatai if they couldn’t be friends. people can be racist towards Alastair (cough cough Matthew- I love him at times but come on, he was racist towards Alastair)

Thomas’s pov are mostly focused on James. HOW DARE SOMETHING NOT BE ABOUT A HERONDALE. I will say thomastair is treated better than book Malec but there is still mistreatment when it comes to them. Matthew never apologizes to Alastair or I don’t remember it that way but Alastair has to make all these amends. it’s crazy how shitty Alastair is treated. I won’t excuse what he’s done but why does he have to be the one who puts all the effort in??????

I also want to mention how the lightwoods are treated. SHE KILLS LITERALLY A LIGHTWOOD IN EVERY GENERATION. Benedict dies (which he deserves it), Barbara (Gideon and Gabriel’s mother) dies, Barbara (Thomas’s sister) dies, Tatiana dies (deserves it but Cordelia should not have been the one to kill her and I will die on this hill), Robert dies, little Alexander almost dies but gets tortured, Christopher dies (and I’m still angry about how that is handled), literally at least one Lightwood in every generation dies. you don’t see a herondale every die and if the do, it’s omg they didn’t deserve that. I’m 100% certain she will have Alec and Magnus adopt another kid just to kill one of them off. there is a pattern of how she treats the lightwoods.

and what is with the mistreatment of the lightwoods? Will Herodnale is allowed to bully Gabriel and start a feud with him but how dare Gabriel fight back. Christopher literally dies and it’s focused on Will and Tessa and how James is in Hell. because how dare people actually grieve Christopher. you cannot convince me that CC has something against that family because she does. she hates all of the lightwoods. you don’t fucking kill off most of that family for no reason.

also why can’t anyone be a POC without being evil? if you’ve read TEC you know exactly what I mean. they can’t be fully POC without either being evil, or they have to be half English. it’s crazy how all of her main characters are all straight white males who have to be tortured miserable souls, who get to treat people however they want and it’s just accepted

the parabatai bonds are a bloody joke. Jace can treat Alec however he wants and Alec has to accept it. Will is insufferable and if Jem wasn’t there protecting his ass and saving him, he would be nothing. Matthew has to apologize for liking Cordelia and accepting that she’s with James now. Matthews growth is a joke too. all of the parabatai bonds are one sided and Emma and Julian is too draining to get into. there is so much wrong with her writing. and each time she writes about trauma or tries to show “hey I’m actually an ally for the lgbtq+ community” NO BITCH YOU ARE NOT. if that’s how you think lgbtq+ deserve to be treated, you are not an ally. if you think Alec deserves to be jaces slave and be made to feel he has to come out, you have no idea what an ally means. she doesn’t know shit about writing trauma, disabilities, orphans, being adopted, POC, etc. SHE DOES NOT KNOW SHIT ABOUT IT

TID- it’s insane how anyone likes that love triangle. Will basically calls Tessa a whore and acts like that’s the only thing she’s good for. then hands Tessa to Jem and basically acts: well he’s got to die anyway so I’ll have Tessa when he’s gone. literally the second they both know Jem is gone, they have to have sex. anytime something bad happens aka someone being murdered, stop the presses because Tessa and will need to have sex this instant. it’s really cringe and weird and gross. how Will treats Cecily and Gabriel also goes unnoticed. I’m sorry but if I’m married to someone and my brother keeps treating my husband like shit and isn’t there for me when my son dies, I’m saying something and it won’t be pretty

(cc could never bring this much magic into her books and it’s why she will always remain petty that Malec are the stars of the show) (remain petty and childish CC) (while the show has its issues, at least they aren’t the books)

(also how book Malec is written is a crime. you can call the show cringe but at least they didn’t have Alec being biphobic) (and at least Magnus shuts down the stereotypes of being bisexual) (also wild how CC later tried saying Magnus is pan)

literally any problematic behavior a herondale does is accepted by CC. they don’t have to ever apologize and if you do get mad at them, then you should feel guilty about that.

man I’m sorry about my long rant but my hatred for these books just made me go off so hard lmao I only got these books because of my love for show Malec. that’s the only thing I like about this universe. I thought the books would be like the show and holy hell, I was wrong. but thanks for the rant.

please continue to bitch. this is a safe place and you’re allowed to not like the books without some book fans trying to say that you’re wrong to feel that way. it’s okay to not like it. it’s okay to hate the show too. thank you again for letting me go off, I live for this shit (posting this Magnus one- because the vibe is me and I’m here for it)

[jadetheblueartist]

JADE

Soooooo you know how you said I seemed like a Percy Jackson fan a while ago? Well I kept hearing it was good and eventually someone told me they were about to start reading it, so I decided why not? I’ll read the first couple of chapters!

That is to say, I just finished the first book!!!

I will say it’s not an immediate “I LOVE THIS SO MUCH” but I do really like it! The more I talk about with one of my siblings who’s never heard of it the funnier I think it is and the more I love it! It is a WILD book. Yknow George Washington? Yeah obviously he’s the son of Athena. THE GREEK GODESS OF WISDOM AND WAR. I just find it so funny how they explain real history with the Greek gods and goddesses XD

Also I KNEW IT. I LITERALLY WROTE IT DOWN BC I KNEW LUKE WOULD BE THE LITTLE BACKSTABBER VFEIHNCEFJINECFJINCFEIJNC

The chapter titles are genuinely so funny to me. Especially when I reach the chapter and I’m like, “oh yeah, that makes sense.” For example, the chapter title “We take a Zebra to Vegas”

OH AND POSEIDON!?!? BRO. YOU MEAN TERRIFYING, RUTHLESS POPO FROM EPIC, IN THIS UNIVERSE IS JUST SOME CHILL FISHERMAN!???!?!?!?! I love it. It was SUCH a shock tho. I had heard Poseidon was pretty chill in these books but I was NOT expecting that. And on that train of thought, literally all of the Greek gods are so goofy. Big scary Zeus looks like a grumpy CEO, Popo is a chill fisherman, Hades is honestly scary …until you get him on his rant about the traffic and expenses of the underworld XD and Ares’ design fits pretty well but it’s still funny that he’s just some punk biker. (I love all of them though and they have really great serious moments to)

WHEN PERCY JUMPS OFF THE ARCH. THAT WAS A CRAZY CHAPTER

Well! That’s my quick ramble!

What are your thoughts on the first book, and the series in general? (Also idk when you read these books so if you don’t remember them very much don’t worry abt it ^-^)

BRO YOUR TIMING WAS CRAZY I WAS LITERALLY JUST RECOMMENDING IT TO ANOTHER PERSON A LITTLE BIT AGO DHDNNDNDND

( @plumsodapop you aren’t allowed to read this no no /hj)

I also love how they explain real history with that it’s very fun ^^ fhshdjdjjdjdjdjdjdjjdkd

HEHE YEAH YES THE TRAITOR HOORAH FOR YOUR CORRECT GUESSES! It’s been a while since I first read it so I don’t remember who I thought it was but I was probably wrong XD

The chapter titles are my favorite thing ever like bro dhdhdhdjdhjd I love it Percy is so silly

XD YEAH POPO CHILLED OUT, THATS really funny bc I had the opposite experience so going into epic I was like Poseidon yeeeee :D D: POPO IS ANGY FJDJDJDJHD but yeah the gods designs are always a fun one ^^

DHSHDHDJSJDJ YES THAT WAS SO COOL, it’s a bit of a joke too bc realistically there is no way that boy could’ve leapt that distance XD the series adaptation fixed it and had the water grab him sort of?? Yeah the author apparently didn’t realize how far that was XD

I haven’t read it in a while 😅 but it’s just so comfy? If that makes sense? There’s something about the writing style that makes it one of the only things I can willingly read so I love ^^ the first series is my comfort series for sure it’s just so good story wise and characters wise and then it’s also the perfect material for self inserts and ocs which are my faaaaavorite things

But yeah I’m glad you liked it ^^ I hope you like it EVEN MORE AS YOU GO THROUGH DHDJDJJD

[kind-of-a-shitty-wizard]

I've been thinking about him for some time already (YOU KNOW WHO...) and I think. he's just Like That ™. the gentleman killer. Haskillcore boring old man stuff enjoyer that spends weekends reading newspapers and philosophy books. looks down on people that lack manners. DOES want to serve for the best of his abilities and be appreciated. But ALSO I get the vibes... that he's the way he is because he's a shitty wizard.

HEAR ME OUT... It was just a joke at first but his fiasco with messing the most basic spell and being thrown out of the train..... I feel like he, in fact, can be incompetent wizard and that can fuck him up SO BADLY... like inferiority complex... I can imagine him being young & dreaming of becoming a great wizard & failing painfully. So now he compensates it with self-taught magic and dark arts (his necromancy interest). “dark magic is just misunderstood, not evil"...

I also get vibes from him of being bullied? I would take away his lunch yk. And now he allows people to walk over him and it's not just a job thing he's just like that. Until the moment he snaps. And murder may be the way for him to feel being in-control, which he usually lacks. Feel like he hass power. He doesn't feel nor act like purple guy jeff the killer (he's too old for that) but. Sometimes he thinks “It would be nice to kill someone right now. I also need cash. Hmm.” and that's now it happens. Maybe he feels alive when he does that, but it's only in-moment feeling that doesn't stay. I feel like he's pretty sensitive and can say when he feels bad(offended) or good(proud), but doesn't really have emotional intelligence? The feelings are there, what to do with them? who knows. not him. he goes out on the streets at night. depreesion)

I think he knows a lot about magic and artifacts (found out about the relic by private investigation or smth) but he can't use that intformation himself! what a shame! I get the vibes that he can be almost . cursed . to be a bad wizard. he's probably not but it just feels that way. so many potential in such cringefail loser (/affectionate). and he knows that and mourns that! what does he do with his life!

I rotate him in my mind he's so interesting what is wrong with him . . .

NODS VIGOROUSLY ALONG WITH YOUR POINTS im sitting here taking notes for my fic fr!! i actually hit on a lot of the same conclusions you did which makes me so happy, but one of the main differences was i thought he might actually be a good wizard, BUT i think your reading that he's ACTUALLY just a shitty wizard is more interesting character-wise....

like you said "he knows a lot about magic and artifacts but he can't use that intformation himself" <- YESSS. i think the exact way that he's shitty is that he definitely has the theoretical knowledge, but he can't apply it for shit. <3 like at the end of rockport limited he clearly knew the flame spell he was going to use, he just... fucking misses by a country mile LMFAO, even the meat monsters seem a little cobbled-together, like he knows the the theory but there's little finesse in the execution.

"he's the way he is because he's a shitty wizard." <- OK BC THIS BASIS IS SO GOOD. hes got so much ambition but no talent, and that informs everything about him!! - it's my headcanon that he grew up lower-middle class, and i think combining that with being bullied and being bad at magic contributed to an inferiority complex. and he likes refined things precisely because he likes the image of himself as this powerful refined (rich) person when he's really just grasping at it desperately :)))

aaand i think the dark arts provide shortcuts to power for the price of sacrificing another living thing, SO FOR JENKINS, who was a shitty wizard and an asshole who's totally willing to sacrifice people for power, it suited him perfectly :)))))))

not to mention all the points u brought up abt why he kills are so good. i think it's firstly a practicality thing (he needs the money, like u said), but then secondarily an outlet for his anger (he's a bit emotionally unintelligent like u also said lol). i think he learned how to deal with this simmering hatred in the exact wrong way, where he bottles it up during the day when ppl push him around and then lets it out during his murders. instead of yknow... learning to not let ppl push him around, and manage his anger and deal with it less destructively SDFLSDFKJ. and it became a cycle. so now he's a serial murderer cos he's into this repress-release pattern, someone get this man into therapy or get him a boyfriend who can fix him !!

AND... okok final point bc its getting a bit long. "so many potential in such cringefail loser (/affectionate). and he knows that and mourns that! what does he do with his life!" <- YES. perhaps even. he is not cut out to be a wizard..... he clearly has ambition, and good taste, and a flair for the dramatic, and mental problems, which means. of course. he is perfectly suited for the theater--//SHOT

[intertexts]

GMORNING !!!!! u know what time it is

EPISODE 8 TRIVIA:

- the big monster they fought in the beginning was called a Crawling Apocalypse which looks like this. terrifying !!!

- bizly really liked that william banished it. he was originally not gonna let him do that but then "i realized your character can do so little and that was cool so i said fuck it" we love william pity points he is such a loser and he rolls so terribly <3

- they start talking about one piece because grizzlys saying things abt how certain parts of dakota are inspired by luffy and bizly goes "ive never watched anime" which is the biggest lie in the world

- grizzly: "yknow we were about an hour into the episode before i realized wow i havent done anything productive yet"

condi: "you just hit on vyncents mom for like 20 minutes!!!!"

- and then they start talking about how dakota and chip (bizlys pc from riptide) would either be best friends or hate each other which is really funny bc there are now MULTIPLE what if crossover episodes where they meet and interact and thats exactly the dynamic . i love them

- condi wasnt expecting his dad to be dead, he thought theyd have to fight him

- he kind of hesitated taking the sword !! vyncent doesnt really know how to feel about using something that belonged to his father

- he wasnt entirely Present for the part where his dad betrayed the party, he was sort of fading in and out of consciousness so theres a chance he didnt actually get the full picture. condi knows this out of character and vyncent knows it in the back of his mind somewhere that his dad might not actually be fully evil but hes too angry to come to terms with that yet

- hes struggling a lot with the fact that his mom.doesnt know about the betrayal. he doesnt want to tell her because "its not his fathers pride at stake, its his mother's memory of him" and that makes me so . :(

- THE GREATS!!!!!!!! THE GREATS ARE HERE i love the greats. surely nothing bad is happening to them

- they have a couple theories as to whats going on with the greats:

-- condi: theyre in this state because vyncent took too long getting them back here out of his head

-- condi: they were killed when they got transported to the other world and there was no way to get them back completely

-- charlie: something happened in the time where vyncent was transported to prime and the greats had died, so someone did something to keep them alive by putting them in his head. maybe they could only be kept alive by being in vyncents head

- grizzly tries to insight check bizly irl to see if any of their theories are close so far. this does not work . he rolled a 17 btw

- none of them trust minerva they think she might be secretly working with the lich. bizly defends her by saying "shes also in the middle of basically an apocalypse i think shes allowed to be a little mean to you"

- le frog is the only french person ever. this is brought up with NO context no explanation

- bizly is sharing some of the thumbnail art from youtube because this was right around the time the first few episodes were being put up publically !! most of them are just the same as the official refs but the most important one is le frog bc im not actually sure if youve seen his offical design yet . also tide used to be white. we dont have to talk about white tide

- bizly says pd feels more like a DC comic than a Marvel comic. hes right about this

- charlie starts talking about marissa meyer books and this is important 2 me because the lunar chronicles was an extremely formative piece of media for me . she apparently has a book called renegades thats superhero themed and i have not read it yet but i put it on my list specifically because of this. wahoo!

tgis is SUCH good trivia for this ep thank u dude... ouagh. really solid meal here. i love these last couple episodes so much.. there's so much fun stuff happening here i'm enjoying all of the greats stuff & getting like a solid Vyncent Moment for a while.

i LOVE the william pity points its great! it WAS cool as fuck!! also i gain +5 hp every time a gm goes "who give a shit if this isn't technically how the game mechanics should work, it's fun for everyone at the table & makes for something cool and makes sense narratively."

that being said. i DID take SO MUCH PSYCHIC DAMAGE from how long dakota spent hitting on his fucking mom. Please. Please king !!! sob.

I ALSO WAS EXPECTING THEM TO FIGHT VYN'S DAD???? still not unconvinced that some lich undead bullshit isn't going to happen with that. god i'm so invested in figuring out what HAPPENED there... i love this type of murder mystery situation. & i also was genuinely unsure if he would take the sword or not!! really kind of an ohhh shit! moment when he did. imo. vyncent virion sol i love u.... also it's still INCREDIBLY funny 2 me that he's still in his normal clothes. i have not forgotten that he is just doin his fantasy bullshit thing in the just some guy drip. (<- i might have forgotten something but i've been assuming they no longer have/wear Official Hero Drip since they're no longer really sanctioned or on great terms w/ them? also i've been assuming that the episode-specific clothes & shit isn't really permanent... now that im thinking about it though please tell me wiwi hardcore blue flame black leather kickass spiky biker jacket remains. it's too cool for him. but. still.)

I LOVE THE GREATS SO MUCH... i hope nothing permanently bad happens to them :( i like them so dearly..... you know they r really solid folks because they spent a YEAR and change living in a teenager's brain & came out of the experience still bein so nice 2 him.... augh. also in general big fan of the system-adjacent bullshit :] i love it when theres. guy with guys in his head. etc. will b sad ab their departure but i hope they r OKAY and return 2 Being Alive & shit!! nervous laughter. also god i can't wait to find out what Actually Happened with them. hhrhrghghgghh.

THIS IS SO TRUE ALSO???? free my girl minerva she did nothing but have Literally Normal Reactions to TERRIBLE things happening!!!

I DON'T LIKE THAT LEFROG FACT. it raises the question of is he actually even french or like, is there even a point of reference for his behavior. like. What is going on there. Horrifying thank you!!!! also man this entire degree im working on would be useless! well. maybe prime quebec exists. somehow. independently of a hypothetical europe. HIS DESIGN IS SO FUN BTW. its so cute.. i WAS kind of imagining a mutant Big Real Fucking Frog situation but i think this is a lot more reasonable. also literally ignoring white tide I Do Not See it. It Does Not Exist.

ALSO. NOT GOING TO START TALKING AB COMICS FOR EVEN MORE PARAGRAPHS. BUT. he is so so so right. (<- dc comics guy with Opinions. well. technically im not even much of a dc guy im just a vertigo guy. but. still.) hghghghbhgh.

[wee-miss-noone]

For the Choose Violence ask game - Discworld 12, 17, 18, 22

Hello! And thanks fro the ask <3

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Igor from the Monstrous Regiment. It's not that she's unpopular but she's not as talked about as other Discworld character, which makes sense since she's just a minor character in one novel, but I just wish I could see more of her. Igors are such interesting family/species (are they an idependent species? not sure) but most of the ones which appear in Dicsworl novels are men and it would be very cool to see how female Igors operate. also Igor was such a badass - just sew her own scalp on, can switch her face however she wants - would make for a great undercover agent and I really want to see that kinda story

Also Letitia Keepsake. The girl starts as the stereotypical shallow fiancee of a man Tifanny may or may not fancy but then proves to be such empathetic caring girl with incredible potential to be a witch. She gives a Teddy bear to a wailing ghost! And a pumpkin to a headless rider spectre so he could carry it around instead a head! Her mother is this awful bosy judgy woman and it would be easy for Letitia to be just her mother's brainless lackey and I mean she is under her mother's thumb in a way, but she also does her own things and is curious and kind and brave and frankly a bit too good for Roland but I digress. Anyways I want more of her.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

There should be more art of the entire Monstrous Regiment regiment. Most art is of Poly and Maledicta but all regiment members are so cool. Also more Angua fanart.

As for fics I think every fandom should have *insert character that dies in canon* meets Death (or Susan bcs Death is on the vacation) fic, just for fun and to help deal with the trauma

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

I feel like I don't see people talk about the discworld trolls that much. Which I feel is usch a shame because they are such an interesting species… I mean they get stereatyped as being big and dumb but they're actually quite clever only they are constantly in an enviroment which does not allow their intellect to be shown.

Also idk if this counts but I find it said no one is discussing paralels between Lavender Jack the webcomic and Captain Vimes (specifically in Nightwatch). I know it's random and most people do not talk abt it bcs they just have not read the Lavender Jack. still I think it's be cool

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

I'm basic bitch so I don't think I have a bit which only I appreciatte. But as soemone who studies psychology I have great fondness to that one bit where Vimes explains that you cannot deduce someone's entire life from one time you pass him on the street because many things can have different meanings like a tattoo can mean the man spent time with navy or that he made a drunk decision to get tatttoed when he was a teenager. And that's rings so true becuase in psychology there are a lot of symptoms and behavioral patterns hwich can mean certain mental condition... or another condition which is completely different or it can be normal behavior given the right circumstances - and that's why diagnozing is so hard, even though I met a lot of people in my life who think that just because someone acts certain way they have to be *insert diagnosis here*. which is according to these people *bad*. My point is basically that I like the aknowledgement that things are not always striaght cut becuase HUMANS ARE COMPLICATED

Also, but this is more of a language barrier thing and technically not and issue relating canon - something I really love but a lot of people have no chance of experiencing are the joys of czech tranlsation of the books. The translator Jan Kanturek did absolutely masterful job and he often adds his own translator notes to make some interesting comments (not like adding to the Discworld lore, but like to explain certain real world references or highlight soem hilarious parts) and I mean if oyu like disworld footnotes from Sir Terry I can guarantee these ones are also great. (There was this one where he explained the czech/slovak word "kurva" (meaning wh*re) used to be an archaic term to refer to girls in general so about a century ago a proud parent somewhere in Moravia may proclaim something like "we have two little boys and a little wh*re" and idk but I still remember that one to this day and like to quote it on people to show how the language changes)

Also also - unrelated but ever since I read I Shall Wear Midnight my dream wedding ceremony invovles jumping through fire and while the officiant calls me and my significant other profanities XD.

[pinkcannibal]

I just wanna say how much I love your writing. During my freshman and sophomore year, I had a teacher whom I had a really good bond with, and people were aware of our closeness. She knew that I was the “yeah ofc, I’d do anything for you” type of girl to her favorite teacher. She knew everything about me such as my relationship with my parents and things going on in my life in general. She knew my parents were both verbally and rarely physically abusive with me so I guess she took that as an opportunity to slot herself into my life to play a role as a supportive adult that I never really had growing up. Oftentimes, we would talk in social media even though she made it clear that she doesn’t follow her students until they graduate, but somehow made an exception for me, she would give me little gives four times a week, offer to take me out on weekends, and all that. I knew what we had was wrong but I didn’t care because I was blinded by the attention I was given from her. I allowed her to do anything in my life, even if that meant to ruin it, and it was something I found attractive. In my sophomore year, I introduced her to my girlfriend and a few days later, she somehow emotionally manipulated me into breaking up with her because she knew “I could do better.” Anyways, I’m trying to say that you’ve got to be my favorite student x teacher writer imo. This is the first book that I feel like I actually connected with the reader and her relationship with Marilyn, just without the sex. This book is so addicting to read because it’s kinda like a small reflection of things happening in real life to me, and maybe some other people too. You really know how to make your readers shiver with how good Marilyn’s dialogs have been throughout the whole book. I’d do anything to read this for the first time again because oh lawd- I just wanna say thank you for writing this amazing piece because it’s seriously a #1 in every teacher x student I’ve ever read. You’re so underrated and I believe that you deserve more than what you have right now. Your style of writing actually touches my heart and makes my stomach flutter. In your latest chapter, chapter 15, I love how you made Marilyns first instinct to understand and try ti reason with the reader, rather than arguing back with her. I just wanna say thank you, and I love you so much for this amazing piece. Keep up the great work and I hope to see that you get more recognition soon!

oh wow! first off i just wanna say im really sorry you went through something like that, and how its affected you, but i also can see that this story is therapeutic for you in the way you've worded this message, and im glad it can be cathartic and an outlet in that way! thanks so much for the kind words abt my writing that is seriously so nice x ksdksd its sweet being referred to as 'underrated' so thanks! hope ur well!

[alicentsgf]

book alicent and rhaenyra showing up to dinner in each others colours really was gay as shit actually like... did they coordinate it? how? if they supposedly never sought out each others company nor saw eye to eye on anything? who suggested it?? who approached the other to discuss it?? were they ironing out the logistics of it together? if it was for viserys sake then did they speak of him? of alicents marriage? did they allow for any emotional catharsis at all?? if not, how do you convince your most bitter opponent to put up a front WITH you? and if they didnt coordinate thats even MORE gay they just show up to dinner and catch each other across the room and rhaenyras in green and alicents in black?? whose to say they didnt truly want peace? maybe it wasnt a facade. what an 'oh?' moment if they just Happened to have the same exact idea to begin to rebuild the bridge and the INTIMACY of that ??? there is not a single way i could think of this going that doesnt include some kind of ineradicable epiphany

[ewwgene-fitzherbert]

c///r 10-12

[min0uet]

still thinking abt this person who tried to say ao3 is a library and claimed you can't expect a library to censor its contents...

like. i don't know how to tell you that books and by extension libraries absolutely fucking do have their content censored. you wanna know how i know? because PUBLISHING SHIT LIKE CHILD PORN AS A BOOK AND SELLING IT WOULD BE AGAINST THE LAW.

no, written content is not included in the federal laws against child porn. but it is against obscenity laws, which don't allow you to sell and profit from content that fails the miller test. and written CP absolutely does fail.

"but what about meaningful explorations of abuse and dark subjects?" i hear some people whine. don't worry, the test accounts for that, because believe it or not people do have braincells and can tell when things are meaningfully depicting dark topics and when they're just pornographic! lolita, for example, does not appeal to "prurient interests", which is a fancy way of saying it condemns the pedophile it's depicting, and is not intended to be sexually appealing. therefore, it's not considered child porn.

or how about OP here, who claims we would have to ban classic books because of racist or antisemitic content? the test accounts for that, too! some books are considered to hold great literary, scientific, political, or artistic value, and therefore are preserved even as they may contain obscene content we wouldn't tolerate normally. to make it simple, the great gatsby holds literary value. your incest fanfic does not.

here's that test by the way, along with more information on obscenity laws. always check your sources!

i say all this to say- real writers, ones who officially publish, are held to real standards. you will not find sexily written incest and pedophilia on the shelves of any library, and if you somehow did, there would be legal grounds to have it banned. the real world doesn't tolerate this shit.

so in conclusion, ao3 is NOT a library. and if you want it to be one, you'll be having your work held to the same standards. US law doesn't believe in "ship and let ship".

everyone is welcome to reblog but by god don't come on here arguing for your right to publish fucking thor/loki or whatever

[eldragon-x]

okayy I'm gonna get into some other hcs I have regarding facets of Ford's identity because she's that tweet thats like "(looking at character) well you may not be [x] but you have a sense of alienation and thats close enough" to me and I heart projection. sorry this became a huge tangent.

Also I'm putting this explanation alongside the context of me basically genderbending Bill for funsies bc both of them are character archetypes that are improved by making them women to me. Also I enjoy thinking about them as foils and this is sorta relevant here.

Anyway in my beautiful mind Ford's aroace, see her talking about wanting to impress girls in J3 yet both the journal and the Book of Bill very much indicate that she Does Not give a fuck about romance and finds it utterly baffling. Also see how in TBoB Bill jokes abt her being "plansexual" because she only seems to be attracted to formulas and such which I will claim for my objectum Ford hc.

But I don't think she thinks about most of All That prior to living in Gravity Falls. Like At Most, Ford does have a line in J3 about being attracted to the strange and implying in TBoB that she's attracted to dangerous things, so I can picture pre-GF she might've had a thing for supernatural creatures but once she was actually In The Town, Surrounded By Paranormal Beings, the attraction just fell off. due to being aroace. And she didn't rlly worry about that part anymore atp because she was living alone in a paranormal town in the woods doing her research.

Then Ford's in her whole situation with Bill and of course there's a lot of layers to that and her admiration for Bill. But for the sake of This post I'm gonna say one of the layers is that she wants to "be like her". Which is the species + gender envy speaking. And maybe there's smth here with Ford being objectum and Bill's abstract appearance, but I think if there was attraction between them it was more from Bill's side while Ford was dealing with a cocktail of issues + not fully understanding aspects of her identity + Bill manipulating her.

I think during paranoia + portal era she mostly just Did Not Think About Anything She Had Going On due to the everything. And that kiiinda carried over into the show's canon era but being not actively in mortal danger or a suicide mission Does allow her to think a bit about how she feels about herself. Because she did spent 30 years in the multiverse which is a lot more diverse than just the earth not to mention societal norms. So she kinda knows she has Something going on regarding how she sees herself as a person.

So TBoB already dealt with the idea of like, giving Ford closure re: Bill and setting in stone that she's not an aspect of the Pines family's life anymore, putting her behind them and all that. And it's not that Ford Didn't have complex feelings about allegedly being a human man before meeting Bill, but there is a degree of worry because Ford used to look up to her and Bill did have an impact on her life. But I think she can come to terms w that her identity can exist seperately from Bill and she can just allow herself to be happy without suppressing aspects of herself just because Bill might've prompted her to think about them.

I also think maybe Ford wouldn't neccessarily be otherkin? Like maybe she thinks she'd want to be another species but once she comes to terms w being a woman it'd generally help her unpack things and alterhuman would be a more appropriate descriptor. Either way she just has a weird relationship with her humanity. Also Mabel would be ecstatic about finding out that Ford is her great aunt lol

gary i need to talk abt my transfem ford headcanons

[familyabolisher]

re: annihilation im glad im not the only one who disliked it lol! ive struggled thru the second book as well bc people keep telling me the third is the best but. we'll see. id be curious abt ur thoughts & if you have similar critiques (lack of interiority for the mc for one, a lack of clarity on Whats Going On but not in a fun way imo but in a way that makes me really unsure what the Point of it all is, & (book 2) just. the most tedious mommy issues ive ever had to read thru) or if its something else entirely. no pressure tho! i just like hearing ur opinions on things.

tbh my immensely pedestrian answer is that i just couldn’t get on with the style at all—it felt very clumsy and, like, amateurish. i got the sense that vandermeer wanted to narrate The Horrors in a quotidian, somewhat clinical tone that established a discordance around an effort to record and empirically tackle something that resisted the boundaries of human language and communication, and i think a more skilled writer could have pulled that off to great effect; however, as it was, he neither leant far enough into that voice that the discordance could fully emerge & exert a significant enough narrative force to make the piece compelling, nor relaxed it enough to allow his language to play around with the lurid, macabre, paranatural setting. 

like, for example, i’ve just gone to a random page to give you some sense of what i mean.

This was really the only thing I discovered in him after his return: a deep and unending solitude, as if he had been granted a gift that he didn’t know what to do with. A gift that was poison to him and eventually killed him. But would it have killed me? That was the question that crept into my mind even as I stared into his eyes those last few times, willing myself to know his thoughts and failing. As I labored at my increasingly repetitive job, in a sterile lab, I kept thinking about Area X, and how I would never know what it was like without going there. No one could really tell me, and no account could possibly be a substitute. So several months after my husband died, I volunteered for an Area X expedition. A spouse of a former expedition member had never signed up before. I think they accepted me in part because they wanted to see if that connection might make a difference. I think they accepted me as an experiment. But then again, maybe from the start they expected me to sign up.

this is like … the first time we get a real, direct account of the biologist’s backstory. it’s like a speedrun of heterosexual our wives under the sea (also a bad book btw lol) and is supposed to pack a pretty hefty emotional punch, but it’s just … well, i mean. “a gift that was poison to him and eventually killed him.” like, the extract falls back on cliches; the prose lands in a very ‘safe’ register and feels a little afraid to push anywhere significantly outside of that. this is pretty representative of (what i read of) the whole book, tbh—and it stings especially when you have things like a mysterious tunnel-tower seemingly made of flesh that only the narrator can see that’s spawning fungi spelling out sentences as other characters in the novel start to die … like, that’s good, and that’s just really not being communicated on the page in any compelling manner. 

it felt as though vandermeer had established this fascinating world and then just failed to communicate any of it to any memorable standard. also, the pacing was all over the place, lol—like, take your time with it a little more, spend some time on setting and description! or if you want to lean into that clipped, clinical account, maybe experiment a little more with the texture that that could lend; like, journals, reports, the kind of temporal weirdness that those can generate (as is common in the gothic novel, for instance) … like, there were just a lot of ins where vandermeer could have negotiated a more interesting piece of work than what i was reading.

it just felt very, like—the word coming to mind for me is ‘timid.’ like the text found its own concepts a little too unwieldy and pared itself down into a very meek prose rather than rising to the challenge that its scaffolding presented. and as a result, i was just, like, bored and irritated trying to read it. i’m told that the film is very different so i might give that a go at some point, but i really couldn’t push through to the end of the book, lmao. maybe it’s worth reading for like the last 70 pages, but i’ll never know. sad! well there’s other genre fiction