#you know comfort characters? He is the opposite to me. Discomfort character

[tangents-within-tangents]

As much as I love sweet headcanons and found family fics about the Batch accepting Echo and supporting him through his adjustment and PTSD/trauma, gotta remember that what we were actually given in canon is this:

Hunter: Me and the boys will tag along anyway, if only to say I told you so. Crosshair: I would have left him for dead too. Besides, he's just another reg. (his rescue was just a mission for them, wouldn't have done it otherwise)

Tech: To be blunt his mind belonged to the Separatists until we unplugged him. We don't really know where his loyalties lie. Rex: Yeah? Well I know. Hunter: Alright Echo what are you trying to pull? Tech: How do we know that's what you're really going to do? Hunter: Well I guess you actually are on our side. (They openly doubt his loyalty even though they saw what he went through, and he already fought alongside them on Skako. Feels kinda victim-blamey to me, and it's odd that it goes straight from this to him joining them, like he had to prove himself worthy first? It's just the opposite of fanon which usually has the Batch be immediately sympathetic/protective and assume the regs would distrust him)

Tech: You are more machine than man, percentage wise at least. Echo, a triple amputee: *sigh* lucky me...

Palpatine: ...the attempt on my life has left me scarred and deformed Wrecker: You can say that again! Echo, a physically disabled person:

Echo, who was medically experimented on: *injured and having a panic attack in the medbay* The Batch: *off somewhere joking/betting about if he’s dead*

Tech: -from the Citadel rescue when you... how shall I put this? Wrecker: Blew up!! :D Crosshair: And turned into that Echo: *sigh* yes

Random stranger: *mistakes Echofor a droid* Hunter: *smiles and goes along with it for the credits* Echo, who was SOLD and dehumanized as a pow: *visibly uncomfortable* Hunter: Echo, go to your new owner.

Echo, who was treated like property by the Techno Union: *explains why slavery is wrong* And we are gonna stop it from happening to that kid. Tech: As well as earn a decent amount of credits once the job is complete. Echo: (bitterly) yeah, that too *leaves the room*

Tech: The client being a Separatist is not relevant. Echo, who was imprisoned and tortured by Separatists for over a year: It is to me! Hunter: Forget politics! We're here to do a job.

Tech: This squad existed before Echo was a part of it, and it will exist after.

For the record, yes people can and do joke about their trauma and disabilities

But look at Echo’s reactions/tone/body language in these scenes. It’s downcast sighs and discomfort, while the others are smiling, sneering, or dismissive. And because it's animated that means that every facial expression was intentionally designed.

What really clinches it for me is this moment:

Omega, a child who he just met, comforts him and helps him through his panic attack. But when the Batch, his squad who he's been living with for at least ~6 months, comes into the room he visibly closes himself off and hides his vulnerability :(

There are good moments too (though tbh i can't think of many)

I don't wanna discount that, but that doesn't discount this either. And it's just really weird when you think about it. Like half of these were in the first episode, which is the first time we are actually seeing how these characters interact together as a squad. And this is coming from the "defective" clones who supposedly know what it's like to not fit in? Who offered Echo a place with them specifically because they thought he wouldn't be accepted by others?

As with anything, there are ways we can read into or explain these moments (like honestly 'selling' your brother or betting that your brother died by lunch tray is very accurate sibling energy (And my personal headcanon (to reconcile it for myself bc the show didn't) is that Wrecker was worried about Echo so Crosshair jokingly exaggerated that he was dead and turned it into an argument/bet to distract him (which is also why I think he turns battles into a game/competition with Wrecker)) but Echo is very traumatized and there's a complete lack of consideration there). But that doesn't excuse it nor does it change the fact that this is what was presented to us in the writing. Characters aren't actually people (shocking I know lol), so any of their 'choices' are actually made by a real-life writer. And whether the implications of these moments were fully considered/intended or not, it still portrays the characters and their attitudes/relationships in a certain way.

[byunpum]

Do you hate me? | Part 4 [final]

Pairing: Tsu'tey x Human-navi (hybrid)

Warning: All the characters are aged up 20’s, Family moments, age gaps. Tsu'tey being our baby <3, soft moments.

Note: If you want you want to know how my human-navi look like "HERE". After a thousand years I finally published the last part. And I apologize if it is not what you expected. I have been very sick, between my lupus condition and my other conditions. I've had a lot of things going on in the last few days.I am still recovering, But thank you so much for waiting and the support <3.

AVATAR MASTERLIST | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Neteyam and you landed close to their home. So close that Jake and Neytiri became alert when they heard the screams of their two children. They both looked at each other with concern, getting up from the comfort of their home. Running to see what was happening. It was very strange that you and Neteyam were arguing. Neteyam quickly pulled you down from his ikran, the difference in size at the moment bothering you so much. You couldn't escape from his grip, still holding on to your arm. You try to move away from his grip, but it was not working.

"Let me go!!! Let me go" you shout, neteyam relaxed his grip on your arm a little. So you could move away from him while giving him a push. "What the hell were you doing with Tsutey? Are you crazy?" says Neteyam, who is screaming. Both of them are showing their horns, walking back and forth. You were about to throw yourself on top of neteyam. "You shouldn't have treated Tsutey like that, stop interfering in my life," you say. Neteyam was upset, pacing back and forth. He couldn't analyze what he just saw, tsu'tey his role model, the family friend for so many years kissing his sister.

"He was kissing my sister…of course I had to react like that" speaks neteyam, almost shouting. Not realizing that your parents had arrived. They approached quietly, wanting to hear the reason why their older children were arguing. They were a little hidden, but it wasn't until Jake heard the word kiss and tsu'tey on the same line that all their alarms went up. Jake quickly runs towards you, while neytiri tries to keep up with him. "Ma jake" neytiri can already see discomfort jake has, of course she heard the same thing too. Jake approaches, he had an authoritative posture placing himself in between the two of you to have more space. "Nothing… nete" you start to speak. But neteyam walks to now stand in front of his father. "I found Y/N far away in the floating mountains and he was with tsu'tey…they were kissing" neteyam says. He felt proud of himself, he had fulfilled his mission to take care of you. Not realizing that he was doing the opposite.

Jake feels like a bucket of cold water is being thrown directly in his face. He had just heard what his son had told him. His baby…his little princess? Jake looks down to meet yours, which you had a terrified look on your face. Your eyes were watery, and you were starting to get nervous. "You kissed who?" shouts Jake. Neytiri noticing her partner's behavior, runs to her daughter. Pulling her into his arms, so that she was lying on his body. She knew that Jake would not hurt her daughter, but it was an instinctive move. Something motherly…neytiri could feel how nervous and afraid you were right now. "Jake…calm down" neytiri speaks. Trying to calm jake, who was already agitated. His tail was wagging from side to side, his breathing was fast. And he was looking at you very angrily. "Dad… I" you pause a little. Everyone was waiting for your next answer. You look up and look at your mother. "Mom…I love him, he is good to me" you hear a growl from your father. You have never heard him so upset, so you hug your mother more.

Even this scared neteyam, who had moved more to neytiri's side. "No…no and no. Tsu'tey and you can't be…no no no no" jake kept repeating the same thing. He was furious. "Ma jake..calm down, we have to talk about this" neytiri says trying to find some solution. She was a little confused too. But she was taking this very calmly. It was not something out of this world, she could even say that jake's reaction was a bit ridiculous for her. Her daughter had met her mate, what was wrong with that? Besides, he was a navi who fulfilled all the requirements to be a good mate. And he was tsu'tey they knew him. But neytiri could not understand how jake was feeling right now. Jake might have been all this time in pandora, but some things could not change.

In Jake's head, Tsu'tey was older than you and he couldn't accept the fact that his daughter was in love with him. It was not right, his daughter could be of legal age. But there were many young Navi males that he was sure would be willing to be with his daughter. Why tsu'tey? Did he force her or did he push her? His thoughts were making him angrier. But it wasn't until he heard a voice in the distance that made him angrier. Tsu'tey had been following neteyam since they left the waterfalls. He had gotten a little lost, because neteyam's ikran was quite fast. So as soon as he landed on the ground. He tried to find them, so he decided he would go to your home. He had to know what was going on, he was worried about you. Your brother had taken you away very abruptly. "Y/n" shouts tsu'tey jogging towards the group of friends. His jogging stops slowly, when the man sees an angry jake approaching him.

Tsu'tey was no fool, he knew that jake was much bigger than him. In stature and in position. He had to respect him, he could not rebel. So he stops, as he sees jake approaching. "Get away from my daughter…you fucker" jake says, pushing tsu'tey to the ground. He falls on his back. "Jake…can we talk" tsu'tey calls him by his first name. Jake was about to launch himself over the man, until neytiri steps in front of him. Stopping any move jake could think of. "What's wrong with you? Calm down" neytiri yells, now she is the one who is furious. "You can't act like that" neytiri is scolding jake, while you had already run to where tsu'tey was on the ground. The push was strong enough. "Are you okay?" asks tsu'tey, he can see that you were crying. And you didn't want to look him in the eyes. But you were still helping him up. "Get away from him" shouts jake, pulling away from neytiri. Grabbing you by the hand dragging you towards him. Jake looks for neteyam with his eyes, who is cautiously looking at the whole situation. "I want you to take your sister home," jake says. "And you…I want you away from tsu'tey, got it," jake says, lowering himself to your level. You lower your gaze further. "Yes sir" you speak, as you feel your father let you go with neteyam. "Y/n..wait" says tsu'tey, but you don't dare look back. You had so much respect for your father, you would not break his rules

Jake quickly turns to tsu'tey. "I want you out of my daughter's life… you played with the trust I had in you. So you were the fucking crush everyone was talking about? Just stay away, otherwise we're going to have problems" says jake, warning tsu'tey. "Jake please we have" says tsu'tey. "You need to go…go. Then I'll come and get you" says neytiri, pushing tsu'tey a little to get him further away from jake. He had turned around and started to walk around in one place. "neytiri…I want her," tsu'tey says, looking at her friend. Neytiri's heart broke, tsu'tey's look was so sincere, there was honesty in his voice. "I…I'll talk to you later" says neytiri, she really doesn't know how to act to the situation she was going through. But she sees how her friend obeys her. And walks out of the area. … You arrived at the family hut with your brother, you didn't say a word to him the whole way. Neteyam was trying to talk to you, he knew he had rationed impulsively but you had to understand that he cared about you a lot. "Y/N please…listen to me" says neteyam as you both entered his home. Kiri and lo'ak had arrived minutes before, they were ordering something. When they see you rush in, Kiri notices your tears. She stops you in your tracks, grabbing your hand. "Sister…what happened?" says Kiri. You turn around, and Kiri drags you closer. Now you were in front of her, and your sister was wiping tears from your cheeks. "Nothing… " you are crying, you were a crying sickness. Making kiri hug you, and put her arms around you. "shhhh calm down" kiri comforts you, while lo'ak moves quickly to kiri's side. Searching for your face, stroking your hair. Both brothers see neteyam, who was watching everything. "What have you done to her?" asks lo'ak.

Neteyam tried to explain everything calmly, the more he talked the more annoyed lo'ak and even kiri were getting upset. You kept hugging kiri, burying your face deeper into the hollow of his neck. You looked like a baby hugging its mother. Lo'ak stood in front of his older brother. "And that's it…I really did what daddy told me to do," says neteyam. "That's your problem…you didn't think about Y/N. And why she was doing that. Plus you acted like tsu'tey was a stranger. Please…we all knew something was going on with tsu'tey and our sister!" shouts lo'ak. Neteyam is struck dumb, as if they all knew. "You guys knew?" says neteyam somewhat confused. "Of course" says kiri, holding you tighter. "And why didn't they tell me anything?" asks neteyam trying to get closer to you. "Don't touch me" you push brother. Lifting you off the ground, and walking over to where your hammock was. Kiri and lo'ak look at him with annoyance, Kiri still had his arms outstretched. "You need to go to her and apologize," says kiri. Neteyam started to approach your hammock, he touches the side of your back. "Y/n…I didn't mean to, I'm sorry" says neteyam. He didn't get any response from you, so he lets his head lay on your ribs. "Sorry" speaks neteyam. "I'll talk to dad…he'll understand that you two like each other" says neteyam. You turn to look at your brother, who is teary-eyed. If there was one thing you knew very well, it was that neteyam was a sensitive. "He won't do it…he's too stubborn. But don't worry, I'll be fine" you speak. Noticing how your other two brothers move closer to you, surrounding you. You knew they supported you, even if they all disagreed. You look back at neteyam, and give him a shy smile. You couldn't be mad at him, you know his attitude was instinct. You know he wants the best for you. …

Jake keeps walking back and forth. He was still upset, he couldn't believe what was happening right now. Neytiri walks up, and grabs her partner's arm. This takes jake by surprise, but he didn't expect neytiri to punch him in the arm. "Are you out of your mind… did you just see what you just provoked?" says neytiri. "Wait!!! Are you mad at me?" says Jake. Neytiri smirks in annoyance, and yells at Jake. "You fool!!! You just pushed your daughter's mate away" says neytiri. " mate!!!WHAT?" jake's mouth dropped open, like what mate?. Tsu'tey could not be your mate. "Neytiri…tsu'tey is too old for y/n…no no and no" yells jake a little. He was having a crisis. He can see neytiri start to look at him curious and confused. Sure, now he understood. Neytiri didn't share his concern, because his annoyance that his daughter was younger than his supposed partner. It was not a concern for the omaticaya. Love is love…and when two navis choose each other there is nothing that can be done. On the other hand it took neytiri a while to get the message that jake wanted her to understand. But after several minutes she was able to understand.

"Come here" commands neytiri, taking jake's hand. Making him sit on a set of rocks that were next to them. "Y/N is a ready-made woman. She is ready to find a mate and start her family" neytiri says calmly. She wanted jake to understand everything. "Yes I know…but" jake tries to speak but neytiri interrupts him. "She is of age…there is nothing wrong. If tsu'tey is the one you better accept it. Besides…" neytiri lowers her head, now she was the one showing sadness. "It has been so hard for y/n to fit in with the clan…I came to think she would never find someone" says neytiri. "Tsu'tey is a good man…accept that. I will go talk to him and confirm if his intentions are good" says neytiri. "And how will you know that?" jake asks with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "I will know…everything will be fine. Now you have to think about how you will apologize to your daughter" neytiri says. Jake's tail tucks between his legs, now he was the one getting nervous. How was he going to apologize to you.

Jake and neytiri arrive at the home. They found all their children on place. Neteyam, kiri and lo'ak. They were sitting around talking about you, while you and tuk were taking a nap in your hammock. It had been a while since you had arrived, so to calm down you decided to take a nap and tuk always accompanied you. "Did she fall asleep a long time ago?" asks Jake, approaching your hammock. Stroking your hair, adjusting some strands of hair you had on your face. "Mmm yes" says neteyam timidly. He still felt bad. Jake turns to look at neytiri, who was looking at him with concern. Jake gets a little closer to your face and gives you a kiss on the cheek. "Baby…get up. I want to talk to you?" jake says, seeing you whine, and somewhat sleepily you turn and hug tuk more. "mmmm" you whine. "Ma jake let her rest… later you'll talk to her" says neytiri, caressing jake's shoulder. They both walk away and decide to let the afternoon run quietly. You didn't get up all afternoon and kept sleeping all night. Even tuk had already gotten up, and you settle in so you can continue to sleep. "Y/n…baby come eat" jake says quietly. He was waiting for you to answer. But he only got silence in response. … … Morning came quickly, and neytiri left the house earlier than usual. Everyone was still asleep, so she went out quietly. She wanted to talk to tsu'tey. After all…she knew it was her job to know how he felt about his daughter. She was doing this for her mate, she wanted Jake to feel secure in his daughter's new partner. Neytiri approached tsu'tey's home, to her surprise she saw her friend getting ready to go hunting. Tsu'tey was more than her childhood friend. He was like her brother, once her fiancé. She knew what he had been through, neytiri wanted tsu'tey to be happy. "Tsu'tey" spoke neytiri, the man turned to look at neytiri. The woman could notice how he just gave her a simple greeting. But he did not smile at her as he always did. "What's wrong neytiri? I don't want more…" says tsu'tey moving a little away from the closeness neytiri had created between the two of them. "I want to talk to you…about Y/N" says neytiri. tsu'tey's eyes widen. "Did something happen to her? Is she okay?" tsu'tey approaches, neytiri stops him by placing her hands on her friend's shoulders. "No…she's perfect. But I want to talk about what's going on between the two of you," says neytiri. Tsu'tey stands silently, relaxes a little and invites neytiri into his home.

This situation was difficult and strange for tsu'tey. Why did he have to be going through all this. This was not normal in the clan. Why was it such a problem to be with you. He knew he had to ask your father's permission, but why was he being denied to be by your side. He was a good man, one of the best warriors in the clan. He would give his daughter a good life, be a good mate and take care of her. He didn't understand why Jake had acted this way. Neytiri sat down and very calmly explained to tsu'tey everything that was happening. Why jake was acting like this, and what his reasons were for being as upset as he was the day before. Even for her it was difficult, but she tried to do the best she could. "I want you to go and talk to her…I don't want this to break you two up" says neytiri. "I promise you that I only want what is best for her" says tsu'tey. "I know…and don't worry about jake. He'll understand…don't worry" neytiri gives a warm smile to her brother. She approved of this union..she knew they both deserved this, deserved to be together.

Jake was waiting for neytiri to approach him. She looked quite happy, her tail was wagging from side to side. "So?" asks Jake. Neytiri walks over and gives him a quick kiss on the lips. "He's coming to talk to her…" says neytiri. Seeing the look of annoyance on jake's face. The woman places her hands on her partner's face. "You have to let your little girl grow up…she will be fine. The feelings they both feel are good. Eywa has everything under control. Take it easy," says neytiri. Jake leans back a little on the touch and laughs. "y/n went for a walk… she didn't want to talk to me. She didn't even want to eat anything" jake says. "She'll be fine…you'll see she'll get over her anger. And you need to apologize too," says neytiri. Jake did apologize to you, as soon as you woke up in the morning. Your father ran to apologize to you, but you didn't speak to him again. You just got ready to leave and told neteyam that you were going for a walk. "I'm going to walk for a while neteyam..so you can tell dad" you speak, neteyam just nodded with a face. Giving a quick glance at his father, who was across the room.

You wanted to go outside to clear your mind, you were still upset with your father. The situation that had happened the day before was very painful for you. Why did he have to act like that, he had behaved very badly with tsu'tey. He had done nothing wrong…but you knew this was going to happen. You knew your father was going to act like this. You were lost in thought, sitting on one of the rocks near the fruit trees. Some omaticaya women were picking fruit, and from time to time they looked at you with concern. You had always been so cheerful, and now you had a sad look on your face that was very noticeable. " Honey, are you all right?" asks one of the women. You lift your face, laughing a little to relax the woman's concern about you. "Yeah…I'm fine" you feel her give you a squeeze on the shoulder and continue working. Tsu'tey had arrived at the fruit picking area, he knew you used to be in this area. When he arrived he was able to locate you quickly, it wasn't as if you were hard to find. But he was surprised to see you sitting on the rock, playing with your toes. You seemed so lost in thought. He walks over and picks a fruit from the tree and kneels down in front of you. You didn't even notice his presence, your head was down. But you are surprised when you feel a strong kiss on the top of your head. "Hello sweetheart" says tsu'tey with a big smile on his face. Out of excitement you let out a gasp and jump in for a hug. Wrapping your arms around his neck, burying your face. "You came back!!!" you almost shout, pulling away a little. To place your hands on his face, analyzing every expression he was making. He looked so happy, the scene was not foreign to all the navi women who were working nearby. It was strange for them, but they didn't decide to make a big deal out of it.

"Why wouldn't I?" says tsu'tey. "Sorry for what happened…I didn't" you tried to apologize, you were so embarrassed. "yawnetu…you don't have to apologize. You didn't do anything" tsu'tey comes over and gives you a quick kiss on the cheek. You notice that they were in a public area, where your father could see you. So you pull away and push tsu'tey a little. "Hey..no wait!!! Dad might see you and" you speak, while you feel tsu'tey holding you more by the waist. "Relax…we talked and everything will be fine" tsu'tey says, you could tell he was in such a good mood. "What do you mean you talked to him? Everything is ok?" your excitement was so big, you go closer to give him a kiss. But you hear some giggles in the background, and you turn to see some little girls giggling nearby. You knew it was innocent smiles. Tsu'tey giggles a little, and comes over to give you another kiss on the forehead. "Yes…everything is resolved" says tsu'tey.

And yes, everything had been settled. Before going to look for you, tsu'tey had taken it on himself to go and talk to jake. He knew that neytiri had told him not to go, but he had to settle this somehow. He didn't care what happened. Besides, jakesully couldn't claim anything from him. She shouldn't have treated him like that. He went to the Sully home and confronted Jake. To his good fortune, Jake was in a different mood. He seemed calm and passive. Apparently neytiri had talked to him, and made him understand. Because Jake even greeted him, and apologized to him. They were able to talk, and set the issues straight. Tsu'tey could understand Jake's point of view, you were his eldest daughter, and you were different from the rest of the clan. Jake didn't want them to play with your feelings, to use you. But after almost an hour of talking to the man, Jake accepted tsu'tey. Not completely and he still had his doubts, but he knew his daughter would be okay. Besides, neytiri was at his side, pressing his hand. Just to make sure he would accept his daughter's new partner.

After a while, 4 months to be exact. You and Tsutey had united before eywa. And you were preparing your new home, tsu'tey insisted that he had to have a completely new place for you, that would be comfortable and functional for you. Although you kept reminding him that you could live comfortably in his home, he insisted that he had to have one from zero. And he was taking care of all that work. Neytiri was trying to keep Jake from getting so involved in your relationship with Tsu'tey. He was always giving tsu'tey opinions on how the whole place should be, so that you would feel comfortable. But neytiri would tell him to leave you alone, that you two knew what you were doing. On the other hand, the one who was very excited about your new life was Kiri. Your sister was so happy for you, but on the other hand neteyam was still a little suspicious about your new life change. He was having a hard time getting used to living without you. He was very close to you, and the thought of you leaving the family home was killing him, but you were trying to calm him down.

"Come here!!!" you shout, as you run towards one of the spirit trees. As you heard tsu'tey's footsteps behind you. The little smiles and shouts of enjoyment, could be heard all around the forest. You moved forward faster, and reached the tree. It was a quiet night, tsu'tey told you that he wanted to go to the spiritual tree for a while, he was going to give you a surprise. You look around and see no one. "Ma tsu'tey…where are you? Stop the jokes!!!" you speak, waiting for it to come out from either side of the glowing branches falling from the tree. You are surprised when you feel Someone blow on your back and you scream in fright. "Hey!!! Don't do that!!!" you whine, as you turn around while tsu'tey laughs. "Come here sweetheart…sit down" tsu'tey speaks sitting down on the floor dragging you with him. So that you would settle into his lap. Your back crashed into his chest dropping all your weight on it. Which realistically was nothing to him.

"And what was the surprise?" you raised your head to look at him. He had a tender smile on his face, and you swore he was getting nervous. Because the sounds of his tail tapping the ground could be heard. "I want to give you something…" he pauses, as he reaches for something in one of the little bags around his waist. A very pretty little bag that you had made for him. From it she pulled out a handmade and hand-woven necklace. It had many feathers that matched the ones in your earrings. You are surprised and you settle down to stand up straighter and look more attentively. "I had prepared this a long time ago…for the love of my life, Sylwani. I never got to give it to her… I only got to give her that pair of earrings you have here" says tsu'tey quickly touching your ears, tickling them. You laugh and turn your full attention back to him.

"I thought I could never give it to someone who meant so much to me… but here you are. My sparkle of hope, my new life. Now I understand that this always belonged to you" says tsu'tey taking the necklace and placing it around your neck. You help him and lift your hair with your hands letting him adjust the necklace. "I love you" you speak, looking up so you can see him smile. You have never seen this smile before…it was one of love, of peacefulness. He wraps his around your body, and you let yourself be carried away by the new feeling of warmth. You could swear you feel someone else join in the embrace. But you decide to ignore it and continue to wrap your arms around tsu'tey's arms. " I already found my own family" tsu'tey says softly.

"You already found it" says Slywanin. Hugging them both. At last she could rest, at last he would be all right.

p.s: I will be answering several requests that have been left in the inbox. Thank you very much for your support!

Tsutey babygurls: @astreaaries @satankilledmyghosts @bigbootahjudy @arminsgfloll @elegantkidfansoul @mechformers @anxietydrogz @neteyamyawne @siimiasoi @kathrynlupin @fanboyluvr @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @anxietydrogz @letsloveimagines

[fearful-quartet]

So I've been listening to The Magnus Protocol, and managed to get my dad into TMA last year so he's now listening to Mag Protocol too. So last night we were listening in the car to the latest statement, and I was half-jokingly saying which fear the statement sounded like mostly, to which my dad starts talking about how he doesn't think these statements and the O.A.I.R are connected to the Fears at all. I'm gonna try to put a cut for anyone not caught up but here's how this led to a theory of mine:

So Lena said to Gwen that there's good and bad forces that need to be balanced, but she never said which side of that the O.A.I.R. is part of, if any. I was noting this when it hit me.

Every single Magnus Protocol Statement so far has been about misfortune coming around due to perceived fortune or a fortunate opportunity becoming misfortune.

Let's break this down ep by ep so you see what I mean.

Episode One: It's a little hard to figure out what the fortune is to the misfortune, especially since it's mostly getting us used to the characters and the overall setup of the show, but for the first statement I think it's not the statement giver, but the husband. Harriet (the one emailing) says he sounded excited in an unsettling way (I am assuming the "he" she is talking about is her husband since she doesn't mention anyone else). When she meets him, or what has him, she describes that he laughed and laughed. Her misfortune was his fortune, his joy.

The second statement in that episode of course is about the Institute, but by way of a bunch of spelunkers looking for something intriguing to discuss. I haven't quite figured out the connection here but I am sure there is one, even if it's through the characters (aka Sam) finding something within it.

Two: A lot easier to connect to this. Daria is finding joy through getting this tattoo that allows her to change how she looks and alter her appearance immensely (and grotesquely). Enough said.

Three: This statement is one that overall I just don't understand tbh, but I think it shows the opposite? As in the victim is experiencing fear and discomfort the entire time, but towards the end you'll notice he gets much more happy and calm about the situation.

Four: This is again easy, it's about a violin that needs blood but will give you amazing talent if you pay that price, and horrible bloodshed if you don't. Self-explanatory.

Five: The guy is trying to make a living off watching and reviewing horror movies, gets excited at a live showing of one just for him, then realizes it's not what it seems and posts everyone should see it. Easy enough. (Very Grifter's Bone in energy)

Six: The introduction to infamous new tumblr sexyman, Needles. I shouldn't have to spell out how he gets pleasure from others in pain by needles.

Seven: All I gotta say is it's "all for a good cause" and you should get the picture.

Eight: Utilizes that uncanny fear of false hospitality if you ask me, but either way this statement is clearly taking something associated often as comforting and twisting it.

Nine: The dice literally affect fortune and misfortune and likely make the statement giver into the embodiment of fortune. 'Nuff said.

Ten: Bonzo needs no explanation for this in his introductory episode so let's move on.

Eleven: This one goes more into obsession territory than anything, which is another running theme of the show and another theory, but it also talks about how the sea brings comfort so that could be part of it. (Also I noticed the sneaky possibly Dr. David reference in there lol)

Twelve: Now I know what you're gonna say, "How is this one connected to fortune at all, Cal? It's about some woman being traumatized at a strip club!" Well think about this: what if it wasn't supposed to end in Bonzo? Gwen gave Bonzo an "assignment," didn't she? And Lena pretty much outright says that this statement was that assignment. So it's possible this is what happened after stopping the initial outcome.

Thirteen: The latest episode as of typing this, and the most clear with evidence. The man literally gains a fortune from his own misfortune, so ya know it's right there.

So every statement is a good thing turned bad or a bad thing turned good. So what? Magnus Archives had plenty of statements similarly framed, so why am I focusing on it here?

Because what is the tagline for Magnus Protocol again?

Fear takes many forms.

[imawreck]

Ballroom

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/WinterSoldier x Original Character

Summary: Tony throws an extravagant fundraiser

Warnings: flashbacks, gross men, mild steamy thoughts

Word Count: 5,565

Max-

Bucky let me lead the way to the meeting where we both took a seat at the table, eyeing Tony who sat at the head with a man standing off to his right behind him. Tony didn't look very pleased to be there, but the man looked the exact opposite. I recognized him from the carnival, the man who hid himself so poorly behind the tent. There was something off about him, his face was too familiar to me. No matter how hard I tried to recall him, I just couldn't.

My thoughts were interrupted by Tony, "Due to recent events and the rise in Hydra activity, Shield has sent us a few extra hands to help with security. Specifically for our ex-Hydra friends." Tony nodded in Bucky and I's direction and continued, "This is Agent Rumlow, he will be watching over the two of you when you leave the tower. I know it isn't ideal, but orders are orders and not even I can refuse them."

There was a mutual groan that resonated through the room as all the avengers let their features settle into those of distaste.

I frowned, Bucky and I hardly needed a monitor. We were assassins, the worlds most feared to be exact.

"Anyways, the point of this meeting was to notify you that I will be hosting a fundraiser this evening. All of you should find suitable attire and attend. More information has been sent to you regarding the details. Dismissed." With that, Tony exited the room with Rumlow in tow, who threw me a wink that sent waves of discomfort through me. There was a cacophony of groans, though I wasn't sure it was because of Shield's orders or Tony's love for 'fundraisers'. Perhaps both.

I shook my head, turning towards Bucky next to me. "Does Rumlow look familiar to you?" I found his eyes glued to where the agent in question had just left before they flickered down to my own.

"No, but I'm not a fan of him." There was an underlying tone of what sounded like anger laced through his words, but I decided to ignore it. Shield orders weren't always fun to work with.

I sighed, dragging myself out of the chair and shrugging my shoulders in a stretch. "I think I'm going to head to breakfast if you'd like to join me?" It was a reach, but I had wanted to spend more time with Bucky. I couldn't get enough of him no matter how much of my time was spent in his presence. He was a light, a pillar of comfort and strength, of protection and happiness, that I desperately craved.

Bucky shot me a smile, "Why of course, doll. I wouldn't miss it for the world." He stood from his chair to join me and I was reminded just how large he was. His towering height, several feet taller than my own, caused him to have to bow his neck to look at me. His shoulders filled the doorframe as we exited the room, and despite his size his footsteps were as silent as ever. I was constantly amazed by him.

The two of us enjoyed our breakfast together, talking and laughing. I hadn't realized how long it had been until I tore my eyes from him to peer around the commons room. We were the only ones in the room and the clock read 10:00 A.M. We had been talking for almost three hours. I glanced back at Bucky after I heard his chair scrape against the floor and watched as he walked over and dumped our plates into the sink. Lucky for the both of us, it wasn't our chore day and Sam was doomed instead.

"I think I should go figure out what to wear to this event Tony has planned for us."

This seemed to catch his attention as he turned around to lean himself against the countertop. Bucky seemed to hesitate before he spoke to me. "Have you thought about who you want to go with?"

I shook my head slowly, "No, I just thought I would go and mingle for a bit. Lots of people make me antsy." Bucky nodded at my answer but his shoulders slumped slightly.

"Would you change your mind if someone were to ask you?"

I raised a brow at him, watching as his eyes dropped to his hands as he tried to find something else to look at. "I might, if it's the right person."

At my answer, his turbulent eyes met mine again. "The right person?"

I nodded, picking at my nails to tease him with the silence. "Someone tall, dark, and handsome."

"Sounds like you've already have someone in mind." The smile on Bucky's face grew ever so slightly, "Does this guy got a name?"

The joy flickering in his eyes only spurred me on further. "Oh he has many, and he's the kindest man I know. He can dance too. I would love to dance with him again." I sighed, adding to the drama. "Unfortunately I don't think he will ask me."

Bucky's face was covered in a full blown smirk, his eyes sparkling. "Come on, doll, he'd be a fool not to." He pushed off of the counter and meandered towards me. His feet stopped just in front of me, close enough for my knees to brush against the front of his thighs from where I sat in chair. He leaned his arm against the bar, eyes solely focused on me. I was captivated as he moved his left hand to brush his cold fingers behind my ear, situating a loose strand of hair. "Max," my heart stalled at the softness in his voice, "Would you accompany me to Tony's extravagant fundraiser tonight?"

I could hardly contain myself, trying desperately to find my voice. Once I did, I nodded. "Yes," I breathed, unable to force my voice any louder. Bucky chuckled, dropping a sweet kiss to my forehead. It surprised me in a good way, and I couldn't hide the flush of red that danced across my cheeks. He laughed, the sweetest sound I'd ever heard, and began backpedaling out of the commons room with a smile splitting his face.

"I'll be at your door by 8."

_____

I could hear my heart still  pounding in my ears an hour after he left.

Natasha and Pepper joined me after a quick text filling them in on the recent events. Natasha was practically foaming at the mouth, begging me to tell her the details. Pepper on the other hand respectfully smiled and listened to what I wished to tell them. I really liked Pepper, and it blew my mind that she could put up with Tony like she did.

"That was all that happened, Nat." I finished telling her, watching as her shoulders slumped and her eyes rolled.

"You two are going to be the death of me. Everyone in the tower can practically see the tension between you two. Why don't you just ask him out?"

I shrugged, "We've gone on one date Nat. No matter what other history we have, we hardly know each other enough to date. Plus, I don't think Bucky is comfortable with the thought, the last thing I want to do is run him off."

Pepper hummed in agreement at my side, having joined Nat and I on the bed. "Bucky has a lot of trauma on his plate, he needs someone that is patient with him the way you are."

Her words warmed my heart and I sent a smile her way in thanks. "I'm nervous for tonight." I balled my hands in the sheet below me, "I haven't been to something like this in a while and I don't know if I can remember how to dance. I haven't even looked at the details yet."

Both Natasha and Pepper shared a knowing look, smiles crawling onto their faces. It made me worry, deeply. "What did I miss?"

Natasha shrugged, the smile still plastered on her face. "Oh nothing, just that the event is set in the 40's when your beloved Sergeant was in his prime."

My eyes blew wide as Pepper added with her, "Tony thought since three out of all the Avengers had actually lived during that time that the event might be a little more fun."

My heart stalled, "T-the 40's?"

Suddenly I was thrown back in time, back into a body that was my own in an age I wasn't sure I wanted to remember or not. It was nightfall and the Hydra base I lived in was quiet save for the crickets that chirped under the moonlight. I sat outside the back door, having snuck out into the cold night to escape the screams of the prisoners held inside. It was moments like these that I really resented myself. The guilt of what I have done, what I would continue to do, devoured a part of my soul that could never be recovered. It was 1945, about the middle of October, and a new asset had been captured. I had seen him just once, and the pain and fear in his eyes had nearly killed me. I was a scientist of sorts, smart enough to build capsules to contain super soldiers like the Captain. But I was trained too, one of the best in Hydra. I remember sitting in the snow though, as I remembered his shouts of pain. Begging and begging them to stop.

I was pulled out of my head by a hand on my shoulder and Pepper's gentle voice, "Max?"

I jumped, flinching away from her touch and trying to collect myself from my memory, "Sorry." I didn't know what I was apologizing for exactly but neither of them questioned it. I tried to fight against the waves of panic I was feeling, a result of delving too far into the past. I was worried that Bucky's memory of his time would be as unpleasant as my own. "What do I need to wear?"

Pepper smiled, "I have just the thing."

_____

It was 7:45 by the time the two of them had finished dolling me up. I felt clean and... and pretty. It was a rare feeling, and I was pleasantly shocked by it.

Pepper had slipped me into a simple black and white polka-dotted dress with a shallow V-cut neckline. The material was loose and flowing, only clinging to my skin in the most attractive ways. Cinched waist and a flowing skirt. Natasha had once again lent me a pair of heels. These were much taller than the others but comfortable enough for me to walk without a concern for falling.

I had bought myself a perfume all those months back, when the Super Soldiers and I first ventured out of the tower on our shopping trip. It wasn't frilly or too strong, and I had grabbed it just because I had enjoyed the way it smelled on the woman who I watched spray it on herself a mere few feet in front of me. I didn't like to buy things that were unnecessary.

I sprayed some on myself and finished applying light makeup like I used to in the day. Makeup was the only thing the two women didn't know about in the 40's. I had chosen a dark lipstick, burgundy red, as I was uncomfortable with the signature bright crimson usually worn that would no doubt be on every single woman at the event. I curled my lashes and applied some liner, finishing the look off with some mascara. Natasha had styled my hair in big waves, leaving it down and framing my face. I turned to them once I had finished my evaluation, "How do I look?"

Natasha winked, "Like you'll knock his pants off."

I let out a burst of laughter, blaming the nerves bubbling in my stomach. "Thanks, Nat."

Pepper nodded, shooting me a sincere smile. "You look wonderful."

I returned her smile, "Thank you for helping me. I owe you both."

There was a sharp knock at the door and all three of us shared an equally excited and startled look. Pepper ushered me to the door and the two of them opened it and slipped out, smiling at whoever was on the other side. I heard Natasha's voice echo down the hall, "Keep your hands respectful Barnes, she's breathtaking."

I opened the door wider, finally gathering the courage to glance up at him. His head was still turned as he spoke, "I'm a little early so if you need a few more min- Oh wow." Bucky's bright eyes found mine and his face lit up in surprise. I watched as his eyes took in my dress, all the way down to the glossy heels nervously tapping on the floor. The way he looked at me was soft, like I would disappear if he looked away for a split second. I watched him too, taking in his clean appearance and freshly shaven face. He wore a simple suit, black all the way down to his toes. His hair was pulled back and tied at his neck in a small little ponytail. Definitely not 40's, but fitting nonetheless. He looked absolutely charming. "You look beautiful doll, absolutely beautiful."

I couldn't help but smile, "You clean up great too. I like what you've done with your hair."

He laughed and butterflies erupted in my stomach, "Yeah, someone tied it up for me before and left me the hair tie. I figured I'd put it to good use." He held his arm out for me, "Shall we?"

I didn't hesitate to take his arm in my own, feeling his warmth seep into me from under his sleeve. It didn't take a genius to see that the both of us were nervous. Bucky put on a good face as we made our way towards the event, but the louder it got the more his smile seemed to lessen. I leaned into him the more crowded the halls got as I desperately tried to avoid touching anyone. I ran unnaturally cold, and I feared that if my skin were to touch anyone, they would cause a scene.

Taking note of my efforts, Bucky's arm dropped my own in favor of guiding me in front of him. He used himself as a sort of shield, keeping me in front of him as he gently wove us between bodies. I was grateful for his efforts.

The music that played was upbeat and old, but in a sort of way that almost soothed me. Bucky guided us over to the bar and away from most of the people beginning to sway. Everyone was dressed nicely, their dates smiling and twisting around on the dance floor. I had never learned the dance of the time, too busy with Hydra to have a chance to immerse myself in the norm. I envied them, honestly.

Bucky's low voice brought me out of my thoughts, "Would you like to dance?"

I glanced between him and the people dancing elaborately on the marble floor. "I don't know how to dance like that." I shot him a sheepish smile, "I wasn't exactly free during this period. I hadn't started undercover missions yet."

He seemed to catch my gist, "You weren't allowed out?"

I shook my head, "No, not until later. After everything."

We let a silence settle over us for a few moments. It was deafening. I took a breath, still watching the bodies dance across the floor, before I turned back to him. "Teach me?"

Bucky's turbulent eyes met my own and a small smile pulled itself back onto his face, "Of course." He offered me his palm and I took it gratefully, making our way through the crowd.

Bucky was always so gentle with me. He was gentle in the way he touched me, talked to me. He was gentle in the way he looked at me. It made me feel safe and cared for. A feeling so foreign to me ever since I could recall.

Bucky pulled me in, speaking low in my ear as he coached me through the steps. "You're going to move your feet just like this," he maneuvered his feet quickly to the beat but clearly so I could catch on.

I mimicked his steps albeit a bit clumsier.

He grinned, "Good job, now you just do that every time the beat sounds like that and then I spin you out like this." His flesh hand took my own, carefully spinning me outward before he pulled me back in and engulfed me in his arms.

I laughed, thrilled by the feeling of his body against my own and the sway of our bodies with the music.

"You're a natural, doll."

Bucky moved himself quite gracefully despite his size. It was mind boggling to watch, but pleasant too, seeing him so happy and relaxed. It was almost like he was slipping back into his element. I had heard he was a charmer from the talk around the tower every once and a while, when Steve would tell a story and I happened by. I would always try and listen when I could, enraptured by their time before the war. Steve's stories always sounded so wonderfully normal and untouched by the terrors of war and loss.

We danced wildly until the song changed its rhythm, Bucky swaying us both easily across the beats. I hummed, leaning against him and letting him lead. "Thank you for this. I would have to say it's one of my favorite memories, I'll never forget it."

He chuckled at that, drawing back to look me in the eyes. "You don't have to thank me."

I nodded, "I do actually. You do so much for me, defended me when I first got here and haven't stopped since. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you, you know."

A sheepish smile curled upon his lips, and he pressed his warm fingers gently against my spine to pull me closer, "I'll always defend you."

I reached for his face, feeling his smooth skin against my palm. "I know you will. You're a good man, James, the best I've ever known."

Bucky's eyes lit up at the mention of his name, curling his fingers into the fabric at the back of my dress and pulling me into a bone crushing hug as the song came to an end. He held me there for a moment as we both enjoyed our moment in peace.

Until a cough shattered it.

"Hope I wasn't interrupting something important." Rumlow's low voice reached our ears and Bucky pulled himself away from me, holding me at arm's length. Rumlow stepped forward, "Could I borrow your date for a dance?"

I could practically feel the irritation rolling off of Bucky's stiff shoulders. He seemed to straighten at Rumlow's request, his body broadening as he stood to his full height. I had realized Bucky tended to make himself smaller around me, less threatening in the way his head always bowed or his shoulders caved inwards the slightest bit.

The song that had begun to play was more modern, probably for the guests to rest from the older more elaborate dances. I wouldn't have trouble keeping up with it. I glanced back at Bucky to find his questioning gaze already on me and I gave his left arm a quick squeeze as I stepped away from him. "Sure, just one."

Rumlow's smile grew and I couldn't help but feel a little unsettled by it. Bucky leaned down close enough for me to hear him over the music, "I'll get us some drinks. Just shout if you need me."

I nodded, letting my hand drop from his arm. He walked away, eyeing Rumlow as he left. Rumlow didn't seem fazed by it though, simply holding his hand out to me and pulling me in. "He's a real tough guy, huh?"

I nodded, not exactly thrilled to be dancing with him. "Bucky is complicated."

Rumlow swayed us around, his arms low on my back and drumming his fingers against my spine. "You two seem awfully close."

I raised a brow at him, "Yes, we are friends."

"You seem a lot closer than that." Rumlow tugged my body closer, bringing his face mere inches from my own. "Are you friends with benefits maybe? Surely you could get a man who really wanted to be with you for more than that."

I yanked myself from him, scowling, "We are done here, get lost."

He didn't take the hint, grappling for my arm and trying to pull me back against him. "Come on Sugar, just tell me if you're a free girl or not. I want a chance."

I wrapped my hand around his wrist, squeezing tightly enough to have his face morphing in discomfort. "I. Said. Get lost."

Suddenly there was a wall behind me, warm and secure. Arms knocked away my offenders hands as the mountain of muscle moved in front of me, blocking the man away from view. Bucky's voice was low and dangerous, "Leave." His hands stayed curled into fists at his sides as he stood rigid. Every inch of him screamed violence, yet he held himself together.

Rumlow threw up his hands, a smile still on his face. "Easy man, I was just talking with her. Can't help me for showing interest." His feet carried him backwards, but not before he leaned to the side just enough to meet my eyes and wink at me just as he had done in the meeting. A shiver ran down my spine and another tug of familiarity raced through my mind. Why was he so familiar to me?

Bucky didn't relax until Rumlow had disappeared through the crowd of bodies. Once he had, Bucky whipped around, scanning me for injuries or anything out of place that he could find. Once he was satisfied, he let out a breath of relief. "Are you alright?"

I nodded, too upset for words. Bucky seemed to catch on, gently taking my hand and leading me back over to the bar. He pulled the stool out for me and sat next to me, sliding my drink over in front of me. I took it gratefully, downing the liquid in a few sips. It burned all the way down, distracting me from the earlier events.

I might have been one of the most feared people out there, but it didn't seem to keep creeps away or the nerves that came with encounters such as that. I'm still human after all.

"Doll?"

I snapped my head over to him, eyes wide. "Yes?" His flesh hand covered over my own clutching the glass between my fingers, drawing my eyes to the damage. There was a distinct crack in the side and my hands were shaking. I pulled them into my lap and out of his reach, "Sorry."

Bucky shook his head, pulling his arm back to himself. "Whad'ya say we get outta here? Find somewhere a little quieter?"

I looked at him then, taking in the sincerity in his ocean blues. There was no dark intentions hidden within them, not like Rumlow. There was only safety. I found myself nodding and slipping off the stool. He followed, standing next to me and offering me his hand. I took it, letting him once again lead us out of the room. We slipped into the hallway and easily into the elevator. Both of us sighed as the doors closed behind us, enveloping us in a silence we seemed to yearn for. Neither of us spoke as the elevator lifted us, taking us up to my room.

I slipped out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened, easing at the empty rooms and the lack of noise once again. Bucky followed behind me just a few steps away. He walked me to my door, waiting for me to dismiss him for the night. I wasn't quite ready to let him go though, I only danced once with him this evening. I hadn't spent such a wonderful night solely with him and guilt had begun to lick at my stomach.

"Come in for a while? I owe you just a few more dances, don't I?" I was hopeful, too hopeful.

But of course, Bucky humored me with his kind smile and warm eyes. "Most definitely, I'm not letting you off that easily." The two of us slipped behind the door, Bucky easing it closed once we were inside. "Sit on the bed for a second."

I did as he told me, plopping onto the edge of the bed and watching as he kicked off his dress shoes beside the doorframe. He walked over to the only chair in the room and snagged the sweater he had given me off the armrest where I kept it the rare few times I wasn't wearing it.  He made a motion of raising his arms and I mimicked him, allowing him to slip the material over my head. I sighed in satisfaction, finally getting some semblance of warmth since I put on the dress. I tended to wear long sleeves or pants often due to my lack of body heat and it warmed my heart to realize that Bucky remembered the small fact.

He then knelt in front of me, slipping the heels off my feet and setting them at the edge of the bed. His eyes glanced up at me sheepishly, "I heard some girls at the bar talking about how uncomfortable they could be and figured you'd feel the same."

I laughed, "They really are dreadful." There was a swell of happiness in my soul at the grin he reciprocated at my words.

"Shall we?" Bucky lifted his hand to me, allowing me to take it and tug me from the bed and out towards the balcony attached to the room. I never used it, too cold for me as the fall began to set in. Bucky called to Friday, and the AI seemed to know exactly what he wanted as music began to trickle into my room. "Just follow my lead, you'll be a professional in no time."

We danced for hours.

I didn't know how he put up with my lack of skill or the amount of times I stumbled and caught his toes. He would just laugh, easing me back into the music and coaching me along until I had the moves down to heart. Bucky would swing me out, spin me around, and dip me low one moment before he had us swing into the next move. It was wonderful and thrilling, the room filled with our laughter and teasing. I had never felt more alive than in that moment. Never felt so happy than with him. I never wanted to let it go.

Of course, every day has to come to an end. Ours so happened to be 2 A.M. when Stark notified us that our music was 'atrociously loud and your laughter is grating against my eardrums three floors down.' We had just laughed and turned off the music, sending Friday back with an apology.

Once we had caught our breath, we made our way back into the bedroom and shut the balcony door. Bucky's hair had loosened some and strands of brown hair tickled the sides of his face and framed his jaw. I was reminded once more how beautiful he was.

"Thank you for tonight, I've never had this much fun."

Bucky smiled, brushing a strand away from his face. "Any time, I had a blast."

A silence engulfed us then, neither of us really wanting to leave. I struggled to think of something else to say, to keep him here a moment longer. I thought about what it would be like after he left, the waves of nightmares just waiting for me behind closed eyes, to drown me. He turned away, leaning down to grab his shoes as I spoke. "Bucky?"

"Hmm?" He looked up at me, patiently waiting for me to ask my question.

I wrung my hands in my lap as I took a seat at the edge of the bed again. "Would you stay? You're not the only one that struggles with nightmares." It had been a long time since I had admitted a weakness to anyone, but the peace in which I had slept that night was too much of a temptation not to ask.

I could see his mind processing what I said, his left hand clenching as he thought about it. I knew he still feared the prosthetic, but he also knew I could handle myself. It was a few beats before he nodded, releasing his shoes back by the door and coming back over to the bed.

I motioned to the dresser, "The clothes you lent me are in the top drawer."

A soft smile pulled onto his face as he grabbed the garments from the drawer. I turned away, giving him a moment of privacy as he slipped out of his suit and into a pair of sweatpants.

There was a warm hand on my elbow when he was finished, guiding me around to face him once more. "Do you mind if I sleep like this?" Bucky stood before me in just his sweats, giving me a full view of his sculpted torso. I shook my head, desperately trying to keep my eyes respectful.

I turned towards the dresser and began shifting through my clothes for something comfortable to wear to bed as the mattress creaked behind me. I was used to long sleeves and undergarments, but the thought of sleeping next to him in so little clothes sent flames up to my cheeks. I opted for a T-shirt and a pair of shorts.

I headed towards the bathroom, glancing at Bucky stretched out on the bed, "I'm going to rinse my face and I'll be right back. Do you need a toothbrush? There's a spare under the sink you can use when I'm finished." He hummed in response, obviously exhausted from the events of tonight.

I cleaned up in the bathroom, scrubbing my face free of makeup and slipping on more comfortable clothes. I cracked the door open as I began preparing my toothbrush, not at all surprised when Bucky slipped in a moment later and mimicking my motions. It was as if it was normal, like we had done it a million times before. In a sense, we had. I could recall many times that the two of us had shared a hotel room and a small bathroom, much more cramped than this one. We had spent nights in the same bed and watched over each other in the night. It wasn't so different from now as we stood shoulder to shoulder at the sink and brushed our teeth together.

When we were finished we both slipped into the bed. I took the left side while he took the right. I could feel the weight of his body on the other side of the bed, the pull of my body towards his. I could hear my heart pounding in my eardrums. The scent of his aftershave from this afternoon still clung to his skin and wafted temptingly towards me. I wanted so badly to turn to him, to look in his eyes and feel his skin against mine. I wanted to feel the cool metal of his arm against my side and the trace of his fingers over my back. The memories I had of us tugged at my mind, torturing me with the lack of contact between us both. It was nearly agonizing.

There was a shift in the bed and then warm breath hit the back of my neck in slow steady exhales. He had fallen asleep. Nearly five minutes in and the assassin had let the soft pull of exhaustion take him off to the land of dreams.

I relaxed into the mattress, content by his comfort. I let my eyelids slip closed as I shifted to find a comfortable position. The moment I moved though, a heavy arm was snaking around me. It pulled me back against Bucky's chest and slipped beneath my shirt to rest against my stomach. I knew he was asleep, but the contact sent a shiver of excitement slithering down my spine. I took a breath to collect myself and relax my muscles once more. But his breath was hitting my neck and sending goosebumps across my skin, and his leg had slipped itself between my own and molded our bodies against each other in his sleep. He was warm and comfortable, safe, but I knew that if he woke up he would remove himself in embarrassment.

It was wrong of me to be so taken with him, to have these thoughts as he slept next to me. How could I help myself?

I gently shook my head in an attempt to clear my mind. When that didn't help I forced my eyes shut again and focused solely on his breathing. In, out. In, out. I let it lull me into sleep, letting the darkness slip over me as my own breath evened with his and consciousness slipped away.

Tags<3

@cjand10 / @blackbirdwitch22 / @imdoingathingmom

[raspbeyes]

A Long Winded Attempt to Understand Korekiyo (A Korekiyo Analysis)

How did i get here... (Why do i like this guy)

So cards on the table, i knew of korekiyo's whole creepy vibes far off in advanced before i ever touched the game. nothing in specifics, but i did go into v3 knowing korekiyo reeked of controversy in the fanbase. that resident creepy guy that stranger danger warns you of.

and yeah during my first playthrough of v3, to say i was distrubed puts it lightly. not only was he jammed into a pretty anti-climatic trial 3 (wow ur telling me the guy who started the seance MAY IN FACT be the one able to use it for his own nefarious reasons WOWOW), i was deeply distrubed by this man's blatant disregard for any human diginity or empathy.

only to see that somehow people liked him?! i chaulked it up to those people who just enjoy fictional serial killers, and since i dont enjoy that trope much, i left it that

so how did i end up late at night writing however long this post is going to be trying to analyze him

beats me but lets do a little superficial list for funsies before delving into more critical analysis territory :D

Kiyo can be kinda cool B) (in my subjective opinion)

His interest in anthropology is pretty cool and i like whenever he contributes his own musings about human customs and such. as disconnected he does seem from human life, there is an interesting paradox with his talent relating to observing human life. moreover, there's always something so amusing seeing such a collected character becoming excited over his interest, such as during fte and his talent lab during ch3 :D

small note, but there is something endearing during the ch1 investigation in his awareness of being the "creepy" one of the group. it shows his awareness of himself which idk its funny to me

He has a cool design (Minus the actual outfit for ... uh ... it's very uncomfortable parallels .____.) with him being the few dr characters who have an aspect of androgyny to themselves (aside from chihiro and sakura, but it's more like they conform to the opposite gender role than be in the middle). now while i will address why it gets more problematic, it's neat introducing a male character fully comfortable in showing feminine traits and feels no need to prove his masculinity to himself

initially, with a cast filled with either eccentric personalites like miu, kaito, or tenko to the more brooding characters like ryoma, maki, or shuichi, kiyo comfortabley takes a spot as a seemingly collected head, especially after the loss of kirumi and rantaro

again these are purely subjective, but now onto using a braincell >:)

tw: mentions of inc*st, grooming, and abuse

please click off if these topics cause discomfort to you

"I thought he would be popular"

Did you know that one of kodaka's favorite characters is korekiyo and that he was shocked by kiyo's lack of popularity

source: https://kaibutsushidousha.tumblr.com/post/187409893464/artbook-data-writer-team-interview

Kodaka: To me, the most unexpectedly unpopular character was Korekiyo Shinguuji, not Hoshi. I mean, his uniform is awesome and his unstable relationship with his sister feels like a classic underground movie. Shinguuji is one of my personal favorites and I thought he would be popular. But the people playing the game called him “gross” 

Which ... is weird especially considering the pretty abysmal character assassination near the end of kiyo's screentime in the game. Compared to prior chapter 3 killers, who usually tend to be the least sympathized for their double kills and very self-interested motives (celestia's being greed and mikan's being devotion for one person over her classmates ... and maybe lust idk??), kiyo ranks one of the worst. not just stopping at being a serial killer, he does it all for the love he feels for his sister.

Like idk about u but i would have just stopped at the serial killer part (which is an insane sentence for me to write lol)

But i think that it does make a bit of sense for kodaka's shock, as once u shift the perspective to being a writer, kiyo's character concept starts to make sense.

See i think when we consume stories, espeically linear stories, we have the subconcious assumption that the story beats we encounter had been created in that exact succession. We assume the writer creates the story in the exact linear progression of beginning, middle, and end.

but in truth, most creative processes don't work like that. ideas can date from the intialization of a story concept may not get implemented until the middle or even the end of a story. the ironic thing about stories is that even though they are a straightforward experience for the audience, they are all over the place on the writer's end.

so when we encounter the big trial 3 twist of kiyo's true nature, it feels very much like the the writing room also got to this point during drafting and had a conversation like

"Hmmm ... crap, now we gotta put a motive here. any ideas?"

"uhhh .... OH i got it. he's an actually a siscon serial killer who killed for his deceased sister :D i mean he's already creepy so it works"

"hmmm ... any other suggestions ... no? Alright sure let's go with that"

like yeah im sure no one actually thought this happened, but it definetely feels like that on the audience's side. for a character literal last 10% of screentime, the VERY LAST IMPRESSIONS OF THEM, completely make a sharp nose dive is pretty jarring. It's both parts boring because it just proves shady people looking like kiyo always should be suspected as well as shocking to know he was THAT creepy.

but let's actually shift to the possible perspective of the writing team

Amazing Monster, Wrong Genre

So what was the initial purpose the writing team had when conceptualizing korekiyo into the cast?

source: https://kaibutsushidousha.tumblr.com/post/169561747724/artbook-data-korekiyo-shinguuji

(btw shout out to this blog's translations for drv3 supplementary material it helped out a lot!!)

Kodaka: I had already decided to make chapter 3 feel like a Japanese horror movie, so I need a character who were familiar with nursery songs. As you presume, I decided to have a Super High School Level Anthropologist to fill that job.

From my understanding, it seems that in early on, kodaka wanted to have a horror theme for his new game's chapter 3. and that suddenly fully recontextualizes kiyo in this narrative. kiyo's purpose is to be the bogeyman of chapter 3, utlizing the dr formula of the double kill to heighten the feeling that a bogeyman has been let loose in the school, espeically in its most spooky chapter in the franchise.

we assume (lol im assuming u assumed this hahaha) that kiyo was first thought up as an anthropologist and then along the way of writing chapter 3, he was selected to be written off - since maybe the writing crew had no other major plot ideas for him - and just had a really strange motive stapled on.

but according to kodaka's words, korekiyo was primarily first to be a homage to japanese horror villains. kodaka really wanted this creepy atmosphere to the murder case, likely taking influence to japanese horror and its use of legends and folk tale to give his new ch3 killer a talent that can add to the overall vibe of the trial.

moreover, japanese horror is the largest influence for kiyo's conceptualization, as compared to other cultures' horror, japanese horror emphasizes supernatural and psychological horror most. The supernatural creature of the Onryō pops up a lot in japanese horror media (The Ring is the most popular example i know of, as well as the Japanese folktale, Yotsuya Kaidan), which usually is of a vengeful young woman who met an untimely death. They usually have long black hair that envelopes their face with sharp makeup to show their villainous status. This could connect to Kiyo's long black hair, a trait he shares due to his older, deceased sister.

Kodaka: Maybe it’s just me that loves this kind of underground story character too much. I thought he would be well-received among the fans of Suehiro Maruo’s mangas, but I still haven’t seen any comment saying that so far.

Now i dont know too much japanese horror media (probably cuz american lol) but Suehiro Maruo's name rang alarm bells in my head. To those out of the know and too lazy to search up, Suehiro Maruo is a prolific horror manga artist, being the mind behind the infamous book and subsequent anime adaptation, Shoujo Tsubaki. It also spawned the movie adaptation, Midori, which was banned across the world upon its release for its graphic content. This work is quintessential to maruo's works' general themes, centering on the outcasts of humanity, body horror, nihilism in the face of cruelty, and paraphilia.

So yeah ... really for the faint of heart and def would not recommend checking out at night time unless u plan on being an insomniac o__o

But it is very important in contextualizing kiyo if u take into account that Maruo's work may have been a major influence.

Maruo's works aesthetics can already be connected to kiyo's design: Korekiyo's military outfit is very reminscent of showa-era outfits, a time period that Maruo's work takes heavy influence from. The bandages wrapped around kiyo's arms could also be drawn from maruo's interest illustrating physical deformities.

However, it goes deeper when u take into account of kiyo's own ... twisted love that defines his character. maruo's work depicts a lot of disgusting acts of "desire" (desire is an understatement), displaying the horrors of humanity to the reader. the writing staff may have noticed this attribute and thought that adding such an aspect to their own horror character could increase the groteque factor.

it can come across as the writers' own weird reasoning to just insert inc*st into this random character (tho im not at all defending whatever the hell was going on with the monokubs in ch4 ugh), but under this context, it seems more like the writing team wanted to replicate the horror maruo's work evokes. i mean, while maruo's work has obviously drawn criticsm for it going too far, there still are fans of his work who defend it by saying it is in the horror genre, so what do you expect?

so we have general japanese supernatural and Maruo's work, but there is one final ingredient to our kiyo character stew (hahaha get it cuz ... his exectuion ... melting pot hahah... ill see myself out) So moving across the ocean, we arrive at the classic American horror movie, Pscyho from 1960. Specifically to the horror movie's antagonist, Norman Bateman.

And yeah, the parallels between Korekiyo and Norman are very obvious.

Both are serial killers with quiet outer personas

Both have a split personality, specifically a feminine persona, that drives their killing sprees

both have inc*stuous (for norman, it is more implied and more overtly abusive) with the sole, older female figure in their life (kiyo's being his older sister, while norman is his mother)

And to prove that norman bateman directly inspired the writers during the creative process, the villain of the light novel spin-off, Danganronpa: Kirigiri, is called Norman with the practically same character concept from the 1960 film. And the writer of this light novel? No other than Danganronpa V3's co-writer, Takekuni Kitayama.

So what did this deep dive into korekiyo's character concept prove? really it is just to show that no, the inc*st wasn't this last minute character shift but something that is, whether we like it or not, the core of kiyo's character. kiyo is a monster, and thats the reason kodaka loved writing him. it is similar to why people enjoy horror antagonists. they are these interesting character studies that are worth deep diving into the worst of humanity and to watch how the tragedy of how this villain is formed.

in a sense, like how kiyo is obssessed with observing the beauty of humanity, kiyo's conceptualization is about the supposed audience is observing the horror of humanity seen through kiyo.

but there's a bit of a monkey wrench in all of this.

kiyo is a horror character stuck in a danganronpa game, which according to wikipedia is "a mix of adventure, visual novel, detective and dating simulator elements"

whoops

Danganronpa is a game, which if u haven't checked ... is about not knowing about the murderer that might be standing next to u, hence the "detective elements". So when you have this super cool, totally spooky character that you really wanna put into your new murder mystery game, you kinda run into the problem that you cant reveal he's this terrible person from the start.

Which is what causes Kiyo to go cold turkey for the first two chapters. they couldn't just reveal him to be a serial killer right away, otherwise the audience will say korekiyo is just another, less subversive genocide jill clone. but korekiyo is a horror character, who only work when the horror about them is revealed right away. watch any horror movie, and you would be pretty upset if the monster is revealed in the last 10% of the movie. while that makes sense for a mystery novel's culprit, it can't work for the horror homage kiyo is meant to be. horror works when the antagonist has a strong horrifying prescense that adds pressure to the mc. kiyo doesn't do that because he can't do that.

not to mention the "dating sim elements". the writing staff dont just have to find a way to fit kiyo into the unsuspecting cast, they also have to make him "likeable" to some players to consider him an option for free time. its where those superficial aspects of him that i enjoy come into play. some players enjoy those traits and as the dating sim formula suggests, will become attatched to kiyo in a positive way.

.... which only further ruins kiyo's horror set up. it is the root of the issues regarding korekiyo's character and what makes me liking him so complicated. kodaka and the team really wanted to have a culprit similar to their favorite horror media to slip into their ch3 mystery set-up. i bet writing his trial 3 breakdown was cathartic since they finally were able to write the whole point of kiyo's character from the start. but the problem is that because they had to work in the parameters of a dr game which demands opposing things from its characters (having room to grow and having something likeable/redeemable about them), they created a contradictory set-up for kiyo.

sure he was creepy, but after two chapters of him not doing much except showing that its the way he chooses to express himself, it felt to me that dr was trying to send a message to not judge a book by its cover. And thats a fine message, but it never was something the writers intended, so when they actually implemented their idea, the whole point of korekiyo's charcter become lost in translation.

Side tangent: ... the gender thing

(honestly idk how to feel about this section but this is more of my opinion and id love to hear anyone's take on this point)

Now dr has a messy track history with gender (oh boy im talking abt gender now oof). while chihiro and sakura both are extrememly likeable characters and have traits outside of their gender expression, it doesn't change the fact that the handling of chihiro's reveal and sakura's treatment from the rest of the cast throughout the games can come across as tasteless. though i'd argue that how kiyo's gender is handled is probably the worst.

so kiyo is meant to be a strong allusion to norman bateman, and along with it, him being the "mommy's boy". trope. another similar horror example is Jason Voorhees, the antag behind Friday the 13th. The trope usually features the male character having a controlling maternal figure, usually due to the abscense of a father figure. while it usually is played for laughs (not good either), in horror specifically, it usually is the reasoning behind why the male antagonist is a killer and inhuman. There's a strong implication that because of a strong female influence in these male characters' lives, they grew up unmanly and thus dysnfunctional, worthy of being ostracised for their lack of masculinity.

and while you can argue that ofc the problamatic aspect of the trope will be present with kiyo since he is meant to be a nod to this trope, it doesn't take away from how kiyo is treated compared to other male characters. it feels very much that because of his sister's overbearing influence (i will also get to her later), kiyo's understanding of himself has become warped, so thus his gender expression is called into question.

for one, he is the only masc character during argument Armament to have his defeat sprite sexualize him. now while all argument armaments seem to be the point to sexualize characters (unfortunetly ....) look at how kaito is potrayed compared to kiyo and the framing of their defeat sprites shows the difference. kaito still is shown standing and emphasizes how wounded he is, but because of kiyo's feminine nature, it is somehow okay for him to be potrayed in a position that emphasizes his weakness.

moreover, kiyo's androgyny doesn't seem to be a seperate part of his identity but rather all a memento to his deceased sister. he mentions that his uniform is selected by his sister, and he had chosen to grow out his hair also for his sister (though that was revealed in the spin off manga, which aren't exactly canon but it falls in line with how kiyo is written). Instead of his gender expression being something he chooses to do, it is because of his very toxic love for his sister. it feels like they had to justify his androgyny, which diminishes the value it has.

He wears makeup not because he wants to but because his sister persona wants to. Yes, it is because of him being a norman bateman refrence but it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth that kiyo is demonized for being feminine.

"Apologize, apologize, apologize"

but okay, if he is meant to be the norman bates character, there is no evidence to show that kiyo's older sister was abusive ... except ...

I remember when i initially finished v3 and saw posts online about korekiyo, i was a bit baffled by him being a supposed "victim". nothing from kiyo's dialgoue ever implied that he felt mistreated by his sister. he's literally in love with her, how could he possibly be abused by her?

though isnt that the red flag right there? if kiyo was abused, he may not have known due to his infatuation. So time to do a deep dive about kiyo's sister.

We don't have much time with "her" (Kiyo's sister persona), so whatever we do get of her has to be chosen to effectively convey her who she is in such a short amount of time. Though it is not directly kiyo's sister, it likely is the entry point we have to understand how kiyo viewed her.

So when does his sister persona manifest? It happens right after kiyo starts to breakdown when kaito claims it is all clear how angie's murder was planned out, likely from realizing that he is practically caught at this point. Kiyo for the first time has lost composure in the game (in line with most trial 3 culprits) , with his sister interuppting then.

Sister persona: Sweet Korekiyo, calm yourself ...

Out of the gate, kiyo's sister persona's first action is to calm kiyo down, giving him a direct command.

Sister persona: Their words are all hollow. There is no meaning to them. You must teach these ignorant children a lesson.

Right after, kiyo's sister persona discredits everyone around kiyo to ensure he is calm, trying to place kiyo above them all by calling all his classmates children. I will touch back on this later.

Skipping ahead to after kiyo is accused of angie's murder, we get this exchange.

Korekiyo: N-No ... I'm not the culprit ...! S-So ... why is everyone looking at me like I am ...? Why! Why are they!? Why is it --

Sister persona: Calm yourself, Korekiyo.

Korekiyo: Y-yes ...!

Sister persona: You mustn't raise your voice. You mustn't stutter. You mustn't lose composure. You mustn't become flustered. You mustn't waver.

Again, the moment Korekiyo starts to lose his composure, his sister persona steps in to command him to stop. Remember, out of anything the writing crew could have written for korekiyo's sister, it was her few first lines where he gives command after command to korekiyo. And we see these commands already play out with kiyo prior in the game. He never has raised his voice nor stuttered prior to trial 3 (though i could be misremembering), so him doing so now shows he is stepping out of line of what his sister previously told him, hence why she has to reassert herself.

And Kiyo ofc fully submits to his sister, having regained his compsure right after.

Sister persona: Look at their horrid faces. This sorry lot is not worth agonizing over.

We see here again the sister persona pushing others away from kiyo and placing kiyo above them. Now while this can come off as kiyo indirectly telling himself he is better than his classmates, this is the second time his sister persona says something like this, meaning it had to have been a pattern in their relationship, where his sister would push others away, and in a way, isolating him.

Korekiyo: Y-You're right... Yeah ... You're right.

Aside from how it is clear how Kiyo shows his devotion in his "sister", it also shows how he corrects himself here. When his sister said to not stutter, he initally stutters before fixing it.

Also just hearing kiyo say "yeah" just sounds so weird to me. Idk maybe he's talked more casually prior, but i feel that it is only in this trial does kiyo's speech tend to break up and sound a bit more colloquial. normally i feel he would say yes lol. but i could be wrong

Sister persona: Well said ... Good job, Korekiyo.

Korekiyo: Yes ... thanks.

After kiyo regains his compsoure to claim he won't acknowledge shuichi's accusation, his sister persona compliments him, and again we see kiyo's speech slip to a bit more colloqiual when he says "thanks" rather than "thank you". It could be that he picked up his manner of speaking from his sister as well.

After the closing arguement, we see kiyo still in distress

Korekiyo: Uh ... Uuuhhh...

Sister persona: Sweet Korekiyo, there are times when it's necessary to admit defeat.

Korekiyo: A-Admit...? ... Yeah... Okay ...

But once his sister persona tells him to admit defeat, it takes him a few moments before finally admitting to the crime. It once again displays the level of control his sister persona has over kiyo, being the only way kiyo seemed willing to acquiese.

Again, the writing staff could have written anything here for how kiyo's sister persona would work, but they chose this kind of diagloue for her, where she primiarly praises kiyo, gives commands, and isolates him.

knowing that kiyo's sister grew up sickly and without any human connections, the story kind of writes itself from there.

Without any real friends, kiyo's sister was driven desperate for an ... intimiate human connection, and the only one she had would unfortunetly be her younger brother. Due to her being an older sister, she was very strict with him, but provided him praise and comfort to keep him around her. Furthermore, she would put down kiyo's peers by praising kiyo as better than them. The line where kiyo's sister refers to everyone else as children earlier rings especially strange since kiyo is the same age as everyone there. But it gives off the idea that kiyo's sister (who obviously would be older than kiyo's classmates) called them children to make kiyo feel he is more mature, which holds its own disgusting implications.

I don't think that kiyo's sister inherently meant harm to kiyo, but it is highly likely that in her desperation, she used her power over kiyo for her own selfish needs. It fits right into the tragedy you would see in horror, where the worst of humanity seeps through, culminating into the monster we would see as the antagonist of the fiction.

(Speculative tangent here lol: I think another interesting note is how kiyo's mind seems to break into two whenever he is put into high amounts of distress. I'm not going to engage in the whole "what kind of mental illness does he have" since a) im not qualified and b) i dont even think the writing staff cared tbh but whatever he has, it is clear he has to strict personas when under intense stress. When he was backed into a wall during the trial, kiyo claims repeatedly during both the trial and the arguement arnament that he doesn't know why he is the culprit. It does seem like classic denial from any culprit, but kiyo's is different as he is demanding an answer from his sister to assure him otherwise. he stutters more and can't form full sentences while his sister persona speaks fully and more like the kiyo we are used to. It does feel like he isnt fully aware of his actions, which lines up with him when he says later he lost his mind following his sister's death. To me, Kiyo attempts to emmulate his sister to stay in touch with reality as he viewed his sister as the one in control of his world. so when he can't react properly, his mind splits where his sister becomes very literal in his mind in order to soothe himself. likely due to his overdependence on her, he couldnt image himself seperated from the only human connection he had. all im saying is that his sister is the coping mechanism that a very unstable korekiyo needs in order to stay whole.)

I can fix hi - his writing i mean

So in a very twisted way, I don't hate the decision for korekiyo to have his story center around his inc*stuous love. It definetly took a lot of straining my perspective but i do see the remnents of korekiyo, a monster born from the monsterous actions in his life, working.

but you can't potray such a backstory within the last five minutes of your character's screentime. And especially with how heavy the subject material is, some level of foreshadowing is neccessary in order to feel like this plot detail is treated with some level of respect.

but obviously the writers can't. this is just some one-off trial they just wanted to write to be spooky, not this psychological deep dive into one culprit's backstory. But they should have realized that they don't have the time to properly set this up nor execute it , so i agree with most people when it is best to cut out the inc*st. kiyo's sister should have been set up a bit more, maybe in chapter 2, where kiyo speaks a bit more of how he is influenced by his sister in his wardrobe and his talent, so she is in the back of our minds. But kiyo could refer to her in the present, so the actual twist of chapter 3 is that she is dead and that kiyo has his sister persona.

I think the sister persona makes sense, since it adds to the supernatural theming of chapter 3 and pays off what is beneath his mask. It could be a simpler story of kiyo falling into grief for a sister he admired. Maybe he feels guilt over how miserable his sister's life was, thinking he is responsible for his sister's decline health cuz u know, he probably was a kid when his sister died and kids tend to blame themselves. Really just keep it to be a normal, albeit dependent, sibling love he has, where his actions spawned from grief, not this uncomfortable combination between grief and lust.

But if the writers really were insistent that on writing inc*st so late into kiyo's screen time, i have one last-minute fix.

Its that damn cg that plays in post-trial. you know ... that one which kiyo narrates his love for his sister. The one where we see said romance, and it has this whole flowery look to it. now it can be argued it shows how kiyo is an unreliable narrator, where he has romantisized his relationship with his sister.

but i dont care. its just gross to depict this unhealthy dynamic in such an ... irresponsible way. It is like the dr staff couldnt help themselves, they just had to draw kiyo and his sister practically naked. which like no ... just dont use this as an excuse to sexualize your minor characters AGAIN

In my concept, the image can be replaced by depicting a more grim image of kiyo's relationship with his sister. show her trapped in her hospital bed, sickly and her face obscured by her unkempt, overgrown hair. But kiyo sits close by, his face cupped in her palms, with just the two of them trapped in that hospital room from the rest of humanity, with only each other.

kiyo's dialogue can overall be the same (maybe tweak a bit to show his grief more) juxtaposing his idyllic recollection to the grimmer reality we are presented. Maybe it's not the best change, but what i wish they emphasized was less of the actual inc*st and more of the horror. u know ... the supposed basis of kiyo as a character.

so yeah ... i guess i am a korekiyo fan

Korekiyo is a character that when i say i do like him, it kinda means i like the concept of him and the few parts of him, not the whole disaster we got. i know dr always struggles in fully executing their cast of characters on account that, you know ... most of them gotta die. but i do think that if the writers recongized the limitations and adapted kiyo better for the dr story structure, kiyo may have been more popular like kodaka expected.

i dont need this super large angsty story of kiyo (thats what head canons are for anyway :D ) but what i did need was just a bit more respect given to his story and him as a character. not saying you can't give kiyo any moments of comedic relief (i think because they couldnt make him too obviously evil at the beginning, the writers ended up making him a kind of comedic character in how over the top creepy he is, which i think works), but dont give the audience such a last-minute character reveal that could break just about any character, regardless of how far back in advanced the reveal was planned.

anyway i dont have any proper ending for this and i have been writing for 3 hours so yeah ty for reading if u read this far :D

[charcuteriecrab]

Please Don't Leave Me (Part 3)

A Resident Evil fic request

For @leonisdumbasallhell

Rating: M

Contains: blood, strong language, description of injuries, bodily fluids

Tags: Married Chreon, Infection, Major Character Injury

Word Count: 1424

Part 3/? Part 1 <-Previous | Next ->

Leon’s head fucking hurt.

It felt like a thick, hazy veil was wrapped around his brain, squeezing tight and constricting his every thought. What happened? Why did his head hurt so bad? And why was he so hot? He hissed, bringing his hand up to rub his throbbing scalp—

A hand grabbed his, stopping him, and Leon’s eyes fluttered open to a dimmed room, dark enough to be comfortable for his eyes, but he couldn't see his surroundings very well. What—

“Don’t, Leon, you’re hurt,” a deep voice murmured softly, the sound not hurting Leon’s ears like he thought it would. The sweet tone was familiar and he found himself leaning towards the words, something wet falling from his forehead with a plop. 

“Chris?” he groaned, each breath he made a struggle, his ribs protesting with every inhalation, but knowing that his husband was at his side made him feel better. Clearly, he got injured during the mission somehow. That explained the pain he was in. “What happened?” 

The man made a face of worry, his expression visible in the white light coming from a computer monitor at his side as he grabbed a damp rag from the bed. It must have been what fell from his head. “You don’t remember?” he asked, frowning.

No…he didn’t. All he remembered was the start of the mission…splitting up to better scan the area for the target. He didn’t want to, but he eventually agreed it was their best chance at getting in and getting out as fast as possible. After that was…nothing. He made a sound of discomfort, straining to try and remember—

“Hey hey, it’s okay, baby,” Chris said, grabbing and squeezing Leon’s hand, his husband’s fingers calloused and firm, and he sighed deeply at the touch, relaxing his shoulders back. “Don’t hurt yourself. Your memory will come back eventually.”

Leon closed his eyes for a moment, licking his cracked lips, tasting the metal tang of blood. “I remember us splitting up, but nothing after that…" he told Chris, memories of the man waving at him with a smile as they went in opposite directions the last thing he could picture. "What happened to me?”

Chris’s eyes glazed over in an expression Leon would best describe as haunted and he stared at a fixed point on the bed, heaving a slow exhale. “When you didn’t show up to the rendezvous point, I tried to contact you on the comms—you told me you were hit in the head and…infected.”

Leon’s eyes widened. Infected? Memories of Spain flooded his mind, the aching feeling of something foreign under his skin, of the parasite in his chest cavity gnawing away at his insides and leaving him nauseous and weak. He swallowed back the bile the thought brought, blinking away his discomfort.

“I found you laying in a pool of your own blood with a nasty head wound and a deep gash in your arm.” Chris stopped for a moment. “Your veins—they were so dark, I-I thought I was going to lose you.”

Leon let out a shaky breath, reaching a hand to cup Chris’s cheek, prickly stubble brushing against his palm. “I’m here.” He ignored his clearly visible veins, not daring to look. He was sure his whole body looked like that.

Chris placed his hand over Leon’s, smiling, eyes glassy. “I know. But you scared me.”

Leon frowned, gaze falling to the bed. “I’m sorry.”

The man shook his head, lifting Leon’s chin up to look at him and saying firmly, “It’s not your fault.”

If only Leon could remember if it was or not. It took a lot to get the jump on him. Either someone very skilled attacked him, or he made a stupid mistake. Regardless of the cause, he still failed and got himself fucking hurt, leaving Chris and the others vulnerable. 

Sweat streamed into his eye and Leon whined, leaning back into the pillow and taking a moment to breathe. “I’m hot.” He cautiously wiped at his brow, wary of the wound and Chris's gaze.

“That’s the fever. You're fighting off whatever got into you at the docks. Rebecca thinks it's a mutated version of the T-virus, or something new, but she’s testing it right now to make sure.” Chris looked like he was about to cry and Leon’s heart hurt at the pain on his husband’s face. He hated seeing Chris in pain. “Do you want me to get Rebecca?” 

“No, don’t bother her, it’s fine.” He didn't want to take her away from her work, especially since it was all for Leon anyway. He could handle this on his own. It was just a fever.

The man turned to look at the monitor set up beside the bed, monitoring his vitals, he assumed. “Your fever’s rising. Up to 102.1 now. Those meds must have worn off or they aren’t working anymore.” He sounded panicky, but turned to Leon with a calmness he knew was a mask. “I need to re-wet that rag. I’ll be right back, if you need me, yell. I’m only down the hall.”

Leon nodded with a hum. "Okay."

Chris left the room, bright, warm light streaming into the room and Leon closed his eyes as the pain in his head skyrocketed. As fast as the light appeared, it went back to darkness with the click of the door. Leon was alone now, and he tried not to let himself panic. Chris was coming back. 'He's just down the hall,' he told himself.

Leon sniffed in shakily. He couldn't remember a time he felt this sick before, at least not in front of Chris. The worst he got was a cold every couple of years. Claire would always make fun of him for never getting sick, lamenting about her yearly flu whenever Leon was in town for it. He brought soup and flu medicine and they would watch movies together, sometimes with Chris if he was with him. The last time Leon felt anywhere close to this was when he had the Plagas in him, which incidentally, was the last time he was infected. Sometimes he thought he could still feel it wriggling around inside of him, latched onto his spinal cord as it grew inside his chest cavity.

Leon could tell he had bruised ribs—not broken because he could still move around without too much pain in his chest, but his head, God, it felt like a hoard of zombies were slamming into his skull. There was a bandage around his temples, the wound pulsing, and every thought and movement threatened to send bile up his throat. He knew nausea usually accompanied concussions but fuck it hurt. Leon swallowed once again, the taste of stomach acid on his tongue as a wave of pain shot through his abdomen.

He breathed shallowly, trying not to throw up. He didn't want to make a mess for Chris. His stomach churned and Leon groaned, clutching his belly with a tight grip. Fuck, fuck, fuck. His mouth turned hot and he gasped for air, leaning over the side of the bed before his stomach clenched, spasming, and he expelled whatever he ate last all over the floor. He coughed, sucking in air in large gulps. Fuck.

The door clicked and light steamed in, but Leon was too weak to move from where he lay and everything hurt.

"Oh shit, Leon." Footsteps rushed to his side and hands grabbed at his head gently, rubbing his cheek. Leon whined at the movement, closing his eyes. "Hey, baby, you okay?"

Leon tried to shake his head but couldn't. It was like his body didn't want to respond to his wishes, heat coming off his skin in waves. Chris made a sound of distress and moved him into his back again, the pillow behind him soaked with chilled sweat. 

"Lee, honey, can you hear me?"

Leon tried to show he could, his eyelids fluttering but never fully opening, to his dismay. He groaned, hoping that would work. 

"I-I'm going to call Rebecca," Chris said, voice wavering. He could hear the tears in his eyes. "Your fever's getting too high."

That made sense. His chest felt like it was on fire and each breath sent searing pain through his body. His head swam and he felt like he was falling down a deep chasm, unable to move as darkness crept into his vision until there was nothing at all, the concerned voices around him fading away into the void.

He exhaled. And then everything went black.

[tuiyla]

You might have not have an opinion on this but I’ve been rewatching Grilled Cheesus and I feel like the framing is so weird?? It’s fundamentally about Kurt and his dad and since they start the whole religious thing FOR Kurt to support him, the issue shouldn’t be religion. As soon as Kurt said he didn’t everybody to pray for him in school, and that it made him uncomfortable enough to complain, it should just be done. Everybody can pray themselves, leave the Hummels out of it. Thoughts?

I have thoughts!

I have a vague memory of debating this with people on the sub, back in the day because the framing is so weird. It's that Glee problem of feeling like they must suddenly be a PSA and present all angles, even at the cost of character and a satisfying narrative. The other glaring instance I can think of is the suicide discussion scene with the God Squad in 3x14. Why must they always do this with Kuinn?

The problem with Grilled Cheesus is that it's trying to be Kurt's story but also wants to present this middle road of "religion works for some and not for others". And there aren't any inherent problems with that messaging. It's perfectly valid for people to seek comfort in religion and equally valid for others not to want anything to do with it. But this is Kurt's story and he makes his feelings clear. It's frustrating to watch characters cross his boundaries and insist that he's being ungrateful when he's already going through an extremely traumatic time. I honestly don't know why Glee thought this was the way to achieve balance.

I think everyone is being kind of a prick to Kurt in this episode, frankly. Even sweet Mercedes whose good intentions I appreciate and I usually stan is being way too pushy with her closest friend. All Kurt needed was her support and respect and Mercedes is usually excellent at giving that but the episode uses her and Quinn as religious spokespeople. They're ideas in Grilled Cheesus, not people. At least Mercedes is still more respectful than Quinn but even she's being way too pushy. No should be no. And even if some of Kurt says is harsh, he's still allowing people to do whatever they want with their faith and is just asking them to leave him and Burt alone. The prayer scene in the hospital feels particularly disrespectful. Because yes, who knows how Burt feels and it can't hurt, but Kurt has explicitly asked them to back off. Pray at home or at church, ffs! And no, I don't think Carole had the 'authority" to overwrite Kurt's wishes in this particular case. If anything, Carole should have stood behind Kurt.

The characters advocating for religion or even a conversation really betray that they aren't truly in it for Kurt. Otherwise, they would have left well enough alone the moment Kurt expressed discomfort. There's a time and a place for civil debates but right after his dad's heart attack ain't it. And I love Quinn and write a lot about how dirty she was done and all that so I feel I have permission to say this but she just really sucks in this episode. She feels so entitled and makes it clear that her making a statement about faith is more important to her than Kurt's feelings. I wouldn't say someone like Sue who is ardently on the opposite side is much better because she doesn't have Kurt's best interests in mind, either, but she's at least a little more supportive. And she's supposed to be the villain! And don't get me started on William Shitecester who takes this as an opportunity for dialogue. What a shit teacher you must be to prioritize a lesson over the wellbeing of a student in crisis.

I also dislike how people ignore Kurt's valid reasons to dislike religion, again a sign of hypocrisy. Because yeah, Kurt is being kinda harsh but who wouldn't give him a pass in this situation, and the ignorance of the Glee Club to not consider the church's historic distaste for gay people is infuriating. Easy to say god welcomes everyone or whatever when people like you haven't been persecuted for hundreds of years. And as all this is going on Kurt is getting severely bullied at school for being gay so what excuse do they have for not taking his identity into consideration? That they don't really care. Everyone is so self-absorbed and self-righteous in this episode it's painful to see.

The audacity of people to call Kurt ungrateful and intolerant is what pisses me off the most. On the one hand, the episode works well to establish how alienated Kurt is starting to feel even within the New Directions and it builds towards him going to Dalton, which I like and consider good storytelling. On the other, it's incredibly frustrating to watch this kid be so isolated when he would need his friends the most just because Glee decided (and in-universe Schue) that they wanted to preach about religious tolerance. Just leave the damn kid alone. It's just one of those instances where we should not be having philosophical discussions; literally who gives a fuck, Kurt might lose his only living parent! So Grilled Cheesus as a whole is a frustrating watch despite me appreciating certain storytelling elements.

If anything, Anon, I have too many opinions on this. Some of it is strong feelings about the injustice and hypocrisy of it all but the rest are just frustrations on a story level because it feels so unnecessary. But the bottom line is that Kurt was right and his friends should have respected him more than their religious preaching. And again, just pray at home or go to church and discuss it with your pastor. Not the time to try and convince your friend that religion can be good, actually. Who gives a fuck, literally read the room Stacy.

[virtue-and-beneviolence]

Thank you for being a friend

Ran is used to being taken care of not taking care of others but he tries anyway when you get sick.

Note: I'll never not giggle at this dumbass title don't judge me it'll make sense and yes, it is what you think it is. // No idea of a word count, barely reread. // gn reader. Ran is so young and dumb here and I love it. Oh, and feel better Eris.

Ran is panicking and dear lord is it bad for his skin.

Since he arrived from a short day of work to find you near comatose in bed, he's been pacing, thinking of how to deal with sick people. He's sure he's never been less ready to deal with an adult thing in his life. Look at his hands! Softer than a baby's, accustomed to only the finest french lotions a minimum of 6 times a day; they weren't made for the frantic hand washing that came with nursing a sick person back to life.

And still he knew he had to do something. So he did what any rational person would do: he referenced every sitcom episode with a sick character.

That's how he ended up at your bedside with his precious hair pulled back, donning a mask and single use lab coat (who'd have known they were just as great for self defense from mystery illness and they are for cleaning crime scenes).

Ran knew what he had to do. He pressed the back of his hand to his forehead, then his other to your clammy forehead. You were warm. Really, really warm. He guessed this is what his nannies meant when they told him he was "burning up" on the rare occasion that he did fall ill as a child. He peeled his hand away from your forehead and touched your cheek next, alarmed to find it just as hot. He let his thumb stroke a few circles on the feverish skin of your cheek, temporarily forgetting the grave situation he-you!- were in.

Time was of the essence, his baby lay practically dying in his arms! He forced down nerves in favor of foolhardy confidence. He had done his research. With what Ran could only assume was surgical precision, he dipped a towel in the ice water bowl he prepared and with the dripping hand towel pinched between the pointer finger and thumb of each hand, he lay the soggy fabric across your whole face.

Then, finally, a sign of life.

He stubbled back and fell on his ass when you jolted to life as if electrocuted before groaning in pain from the severe exertion it took to sit up and throw the offending piece of cloth against the floor with a splat.

"Ran what're you doing?" Your voice was thick and disoriented. It sounded forced for your chest, riding the waves of shuddered breaths.

"You're sick."

"So you're waterboarding me to finish the job?"

He flushed slightly. "If you'd let me get back to it, you might find out." Something at the pit of his stomach warmed with relief that you weren't so far gone that you couldn't indulge him in at least a short playful exchange.

You slumped back down, slowly and in very obvious discomfort. "M'so cold, Ran."

With furrowed brows he places his hand on your forehead. "But you're burning up?"

"Fevers... do that?"

"...Of course."

Not keen to further advertise his inexperience in caring for the health of another, he retrieved a mountain of blankets. When they didn't warm you fast enough, he (very awkwardly, as any tall man might) climbed behind you in bed. Now, much too occupied with your comfort to be much bothered by the stickiness of sickness that clung to you. With his back against your best of pillows to keep you propped up and breathing and warm legs down your sides, you did warm up quickly.

"Hurts so bad." Your voice was nothing but a groan. Overtiredness and pain weighing your usually light tone down. He'd never heard you sound this sad, this pained. You were his quick-witted spitfire, his sass, a menace, just like him. He didn't know how to cure you. Nursing was rather opposite to his specialty in life, but he did know, from first hand experience even, how painful staying too long in bed could be.

So he found a way to be helpful that felt perfectly suited to him.

His fingers met the aching muscles of your neck. He massaged away pain from your shoulders and arms, leaving you sighing with relief. When you complained of being too warm he stripped away the blankets and continued his massages down your legs, stimulating circulation and easing the achiness that comes with nightmarish fevers.

Ran closed the door to your shared bedroom softly, seeing you finally sleeping again.

He phone rang.

He clamored clumsily to answer, not willing to risk your well deserved slumber.

Rindou. Just the guy he needed.

"Rin!" He whisper shouted, cupping a large hand to direct his voice to the phone, "Rin you have no idea how sick y/n is and I don't know what I'm doing. I trusted the Golden Girls and I think they failed me. I just got them to go to sleep but what do I do now?"

"Ran. Fuck. Calm down. What kind of sick are they? Bring water and food."

"What... kind of sick?"

"Sinus, chest, stomach?"

"I-I didn't ask!"

Cue an unsurprised but no less disappointed sigh. "You idiot, I'll send some soup over to your place. You can't really go wrong with soup."

Ran let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Thanks, Rin."

"Sure." A moment of silence passed before Rin spoke up again. "Your first instinct was to go to the Golden Girls for medical advice, Ran? Really?"

Ran needs to work on his life skills.

@feitania feel better 🥺 your man's is trying

[vespersposts]

KNB: a scented story /part 2

I am really glad you liked this idea and thank you very much for the feedbacks and suggestions.

Today let's talk about some other nice guys, thank you so much for asking me for their profiles, they are wonderful characters and I am happy to be able to discuss them with you.

@fellow-deviant, @lamnwar, @0214letters, @officialparentofadrien

For GOM, Momoi, Teppei and Kagami I refer you to part 1

🧡 Takao

He is the friend who always saves you, the one to whom you don't have to say anything and who understands you on the fly, the one who takes care of you without ever taking himself too seriously or even taking credit. Ironic, intelligent, charismatic and deeply good and protective, he is the playful version of Shin-chan, his perfect sidekick (and vice versa). When I think of him I think of a summer toast, mojitos, bare feet in the sand, the comfort of a hug around a campfire. My choice for him is a citrusy but non-trivial cologne, with the accent of mint and the warmth of liquor, let the party begin!

Guerlain Homme- Guerlain -> Mojito, citrus, ventiver

💜 Himuro

One of the most sensitive characters in the whole series, but also one of the most melancholic, in my opinion. He experiences the same discomfort as Taiga in the opposite way, in silence and almost caring for Musakibara, because he is a giver.

But then he tries to hide everything under a tough exterior, just like his little American brother. The image I associate with him is that of the praline, which has a chocolate shell on the outside protecting a smooth heart (it's a bit funny Himuro praline, I know). I think he would love a perfume a little smoky or with leather notes but with a warm heart, an alpha male fragrance, because like Taiga, he has to disguise himself and be brave.

A*Men Pure Havane -Thierry Mugler -> tobacco, honey, cocoa, amber

💙 Kasamatsu

Yukio is sexy. He can't help it, he can act tough all he wants, but in my opinion there isn't a girl at Kaijo who hasn't given it a thought. Reflective, deep, committed but always in for a good laugh, a born leader but also someone who doesn't want to make others worry, and in my opinion he suffers a lot on his own, as I said here. He plays the guitar so I know he's incredibly romantic as well, wothout losing his rocker guy appeal. He reminds me of the beauty in the everyday things, a ray of sun hitting the room and creating a magic setting, a unexpected kiss, a tight hug. I think he'd love something clean, direct but wholesome like this one where the fresh bergamot meets the sparkling pepper and the soothing woods.

Hero- Burberry -> bergamot, pepper, juniper, cedar wood

🤍 Mayuzumi

Enigmatic, shy, seemingly disinterested in what is said about him or to him but actually very careful that no one underestimates him or treats him without respect. He has little presence, but in a different way from Tetsu, a little more passive if I may say so. I associate him with the sea in winter, partly because of its colors, partly because like the sea he seems still but in reality he is always moving. I chose a scent I know well because I use, which smells like saltiness on a cold day.

Sel de Ventiver- The Different Company -> Cardamom, ylang-ylang, iris, salt, bourbon ventiver

Hope you'll love this as well!

Lots of love,

V.

[memoriastellarum]

Out of nowhere, Tatsumi leans in close.

“You’re beautiful, Kaname-san,” he whispers warmly.

Kaname can’t help but try to sit up a little straighter at the way his senior says his name— try, because even after these long, grueling months, his worthless body still doesn’t work right: too-thin limbs weak with atrophy, the apparent need to fall asleep every few hours as though he’s a baby, and a heart that flutters so pathetically when those violet eyes meet his.

(He thinks the latter may be a fault of character.  At the very least, it isn’t new.)

“You’re wrong,” he croaks with a pout and a slight shake of his head.  Tatsumi dons that old familiar look— a smile mostly unchanged, but with such disappointed eyes that it almost deters the younger man from continuing.  This wordless, gentle reprimand has ended many an argument in the past.  It’s frighteningly effective.

But continue he does— just with a little less conviction.  “You’re going to say something like, ‘it’s your soul that’s beautiful.’  Well, that’s stupid.  You don’t need to try to comfort me.  I look disgusting.  I know you hate looking at me... and so does onii-chan.  I’m not...”

His voice trails off as Tatsumi’s slender finger rests lightly against his jaw, as if to coax him into maintaining eye contact.  Well, Kaname couldn’t have looked away if he tried.  Not now, even though that thick, overwhelming sadness has seeped back into the other’s expression again.  He can’t believe that his heart monitor isn’t screeching, because there’s no way that what’s happening to his body is within normal parameters.  Still, he assumes it’s had the desired effect: he’s silent, and remains so as the opposition presents.

“You remind me of the moon,” Tatsumi remarks thoughtfully, as if it’s at all a normal thought to have about someone.  As though it’s relevant.  “Have you seen Starry Night?”  He pauses; Kaname may have twitched in the most pathetic nod ever offered.  If he weren’t so stupid, he might even have commented— something to the tune of Obviously.  Who do you think you’re talking to?

But it’s still not good enough, and Tatsumi knows it.  And Tatsumi isn’t finished speaking.  Kaname is more than a little proud that he’s remembered the exact way the other man’s gaze flicks down to the right (to his left?) when he’s considering how to keep talking.  It’s like watching someone turn a page.  It’s utterly fascinating, and somehow, it’s endearing.

“That aside...”  He shifts with slight discomfort in his seat, brings himself a little closer, brushes his thumb sweetly over Kaname’s cheek, takes Kaname’s hand in his free one.  It’s warm enough to make up for the feeble first attempt at making his point.  Kaname would have forgiven him for anything, if all he did was touch him this way.

“When you’re at your best, you shine with so much light that everyone can’t help but love you.  You’re unforgettable, Kaname-san...  But even the moon has phases.  It’s only at its brightest once every month, yet all of humanity has been writing, painting, and singing about it for ages.”  He pauses again, sensing that he’s still not quite hitting the mark he’s seeking.  Kaname thinks he’s always tried a little too hard when it comes to him, stumbled over steps he could simply dance through for others.

“Have you ever thought about why, when there’s no light left to see, we call it a new moon?  It’s because it’s still the same moon— and I still see you, and everything that makes you beautiful to look at.  You have such genuine, earnest eyes.  I’ve always loved them, even when you looked at me with such anger.  Your face is so expressive, with an attractive shape I can’t help but admire.  And like the moon, you’re getting stronger and more beautiful as time goes by.  I’m thankful to God every day that I’m blessed with the opportunity to see it.”

A few moments pass before either of them say anything.  It’s Kaname who breaks the silence, flustered, heart racing, winded.

“That didn’t make any sense.  You’re not making any sense.  Why can’t you just speak plainly?  You’re giving me a headache.”

Tatsumi sits up again, which is frankly a little disappointing— or would be, if he weren’t wearing the most sickeningly gentle smile Kaname’s ever seen.  He laughs quietly, and Kaname is mollified.

“I’m sorry.  I’ve had something like that on my mind for a little while now, but I can’t seem to collect my thoughts.  All I wanted to say was that even now, at this very moment, I can’t take my eyes off of you.”

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Hey manhwa/sob anon,my thoughts on winter szn is EXACT same to same with you everything you said was what I thought.i thought I was just not satisfied with dongchae being not mc like he didn't really have much even tho it was HIS szn yeah I absolutely agree with u angry with jaemin nd also jaemin x eunchae r my disliked ship...I didn't like the winter szn as much as other cuz of all the things you've said but I didn't really know what nd which thing I don't like so after seeing u write ur opinion nd thought made me think "aah that why , I don't really like this szn"

Also the reason I wanted you to read sob,really like your opinions nd many match with mine although not all

Like you I enjoyed bomi x jinyoung more the cuz I think it would e been really weird between seonhui nd bomi if any of those two were to date jaemin really like their friendship so I didn't want there to be a wall b/,w them tho I will agree with you on jaemin with bomi thing cuz at first I see them nd think ah they will really make a good couple both r similar (bomi mom being strict nd jaemin also being strict although not with him but with brother) both popular kid good grade good personality they would a power couple I'm a sucker for short boy x tall girl so jinbomi won my heart over aslo like the grumpy x sunshine trope also I really liked seonhui & jaehyeon cuz I'm kinda a lover of side couple also their maple 🍁 scene made me fall head over heels for this ship so I didn't really like seonhui x jaemin cuz as I said before the reason of bomi nd her friendship to not fall apart but now that not a problem cuz bomi nd jinyoung bf gf but she had guilt over asking jaemin to come over when his brother was suicide that day tho not her fault(nd yes that the school & mom fault ,hamin flower was good but so sad ) so that why I didn't really like it

On gaeul flower thing I liked it but as you said the discomfort of subin being reminder of her being bullied was really not done well she really got over it fast as you said but beside that I really like them being in college(university? I forgot which one) hs romance is common

Overall Id say I liked the story+ the couple execpt for dongchae flower could be done so much better nd the couple wasnt really good imo maybe I was expecting too much but also I agree you on the speech part I also really loved it!

there's gonna be a sequel (author said it's light hearted than sob) I think in a year Im waiting for it

Really a big post sorry

(Response to this).

Its fine, i love to talk about series anyway.

Yeah, winter season could've been better. I really thought Jaemin was out of character. He was better than that and Eunchae too. Dongchae deserves better.

Actually, i love tall girl x short boy type of ships too and of course, opposite attracts thing. The reason i couldnt root is because she and Jaemin both wanted to be together at that time, even its not romantic love, it was sad to watch them like that. I wasnt into Jaemin and Bomi, i just support people who have healthy relationship and like i said, the way she described that comfort feelings for Jaemin fits more the actual love but at the end, both of them are happy so its fine.

And i really hated what Bomi did with Jaemin, Jinyeong. If my friend did something like Bomi did, i would absolutely hated it. Girl, you didnt make things better but actually worse! And this isnt for her, its for herself. If you dont want to date your bestie's crush, tell her that for God's sake. They are lucky, it ends well though.

I didnt like Seunhui at the beginning because she looks like just rude girl for no reason but the story progress, i find her very cute and i know she has guilty for Hamin's suicide but i still think they also look good together with Jaemin and the way he was teasing her at the start, i shipped them and i dont think her relationship would actually fall apart with Bomi, if they communicated properly. Just because they have past and regrets doesnt mean they cant be together and doesnt mean its not love. Jaemin and Seunhui c/would be really cute and funny too but again, at the end, both find happiness so i am fine with this too so whatever, lol.

I think university romance is better because of maturity, the idea that you will find real love in uni is more realistic to me because at highschool, you are just trying to figure out yourself, you will most likely have crushes than love, its imature form of love. Though, its fun to explore any type of love, especially if its well written.

I heard about sequel, i wonder what will it be about.

[iztopher]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ five of them. be free

SHEBA THANK U SO MUCH (also!!! i feel like it's been a while hi i hope u are doing well <3) since there are so many I am going to put the first one above the cut and the rest under

from don't you dare go down:

Te’ijal attempts to inspect her husband’s injury. The fabric of his padded jacket, while thoroughly sliced, is thick enough around the surrounding skin to prevent her from getting a good enough look at it. She purses her lips, frowning.

“I can’t do anything with this fabric in the way,” she says, and finds her voice is uncharacteristically sheepish. She’s at an impasse; she certainly knows better than to ask him if she can take off his breastplate. She’s not even sure she wants to– there’s something about her mental image of Galahad that belongs in shining metal, like if she stripped off too much armor he would disappear right along with it.

He surprises her by saying, the stiffness in his voice betraying some slight discomfort, “the sleeves on this one unlace. Check the shoulder.”

SO, that middle paragraph is perhaps still my favorite thing I've ever written, and one of the things that makes me happiest about it is how the vast majority of people who read this fic singled it out to comment on it.

my intent with don't you dare go down was to write Te'ijal and Galahad slowly but surely meeting in the middle re: their relationship with each other - Te'ijal coming to learn and respect Galahad's boundaries instead of pushing them, and, as a result of that respect, Galahad becoming just a little comfortable letting some of them down. This section was me trying to encapsulate that - that Galahad's boundaries, specifically his insistence on not letting Te'ijal see him without his armor, have become an integral part of how Te'ijal views him and are no longer something she's trying to change.

BUT, funnily enough, the way this actual line came to be is because Te'ijal is technically partly undressing Galahad here, and it's an emotional moment, and I was like, dear god, this cannot be horny, I need to emphasize that this not sexy in any way. And what better way to emphasize that than to be like, by the way, the idea of seeing Galahad in anything less a full suit of armor is weird for her, this isn't something she's like, excited about.

2) re: Freckles:

this is not actually about any scene/line but just the fic in general because it's funny - at the time, I was really worried about the pivotal "compelled to count things" reading like OCD symptoms being played for laughs, so I was like, well, to make sure it's not that, I'll base it off my personal experiences of when I feel like I have to do something! Anyways it turns out I have OCD and I was basing it off my compulsions.

3) from you try so loud to love me (completely SFW excerpt and discussion, I promise):

“Oh, is that your issue, Te’ijal?” he asked, raising his voice on her name as if out of spite. “I focused on our marriage and lost sight of you separate from it? Because you do not get to judge me for that!” 

“And why don’t I?” Te’ijal asked, barely restraining her voice from yelling, and she found that goading him felt good, the most she’d felt like herself all night, if not the past year. She wanted him to call her a monster, to remind her she ruined his life, as if she had ever been the one who forgot. 

So when his voice dropped, her heart plummeted with it. “Please, wife,” he said, sitting down on the bed and reaching towards her. She drew backwards, and so instead he raised his hands in surrender. “I don’t want to fight you. Not tonight.” 

most of the time when i write fic, it's exploring how a small scene gradually/slightly improves something for the characters or their relationship. this fic was supposed to be the opposite! one of the ways I was very excited to do this is have Galahad, for once in his fucking existence, pointedly Refuse to get upset at Te'ijal. because for Te'ijal, that would be cathartic/satisfying, and for Galahad, explaining himself would require acknowledging the ways she hurt him as a vampire, which is something I think he shuts himself off from as a human.

4) from left undead:

Eventually, he sighed. “My last emergency contact was my ex’s father,” he admitted. Te’ijal opened her mouth to question this, but he continued before she had the chance. “You text me daily, live in the same city as me, and from what I can tell, your sleep schedule is sporadic. I knew that if someone called you from my phone, you would answer.”

I was so torn on whether I should include this joke or not considering I refuse to elaborate on it in-fic, but I decided it was bizarre and funny enough to land without context. So here's the director's cut context: this is a nod towards the fic Rhenegade (/its Blanchefleur-centric spinoff Daisy Stains), where Galahad's ex fiancee Blanchefleur was the daughter of the knight he served as squire under. I could not actually tell you why in a modern AU Galahad would be close enough with Blanchefleur's dad to have this set-up, but I did think it would be hilarious and so I put it in there.

And now because I promise I can talk about my fic that isn't te'ijalahad:

5) re: nobody's daughter:

I don't have any like, specific lines that jump out at me that I want to share the director's cut to, but this is a fic I put a lot of thought into and I have a lot of thoughts about. Lydia is canonically defined by her obsession with becoming queen, being selfish and vain, and being kinda girly with her fun dress-up options. But we also see that it's clearly come from her parents, with her dad scolding her for traveling with commoners. Something I am fascinated by with Lydia is the idea of how much of this is she doing because she wants to and how much of this is she doing because it's what she's been told, and the fact that the two didn't have to be mutually exclusive!

So when Ishti suggested a nonbinary take on Lydia I could not stop thinking about taking their gender in that same direction. Obviously, Lydia loves fashion and fancy dresses, but would they love sharp suits or casual clothes just as much if they let themself try? Who knows! They don't!

And that's what I wanted to convey in this fic, the uncertainty and kind of like, stress of figuring out your identity for yourself when you know the one that's been laid out for you works for you but can't get rid of the feeling that something else would make you happier, and trying to figure out what that is. Personally, the reason I'm mostly not out as nonbinary IRL is because I have this needling worry of like, what if the fact that sticking w/ the way I currently present is easier means it feels better? What if changing things makes me feel worse, not better, you know? And I think changing how you present, for gender reasons or not, often has that moment of a leap of faith. And I really wanted to capture Lydia being stuck before making that leap of faith and tie it up with gender feelings.

[carbonana]

Tumblr has always been a place to me where I ran when I was in discomfort. The moment when I was dealing with my PTSD at its peak and whenever I felt anxious. Wattpad has always been my first choice for fanfiction. I came to Tumblr because of @personasintro primarily and further explored this app. Perhaps love and interlude by @mangowillow was one of my first stories that I read on this app. Yes, I read smuts but that too when it's just a part of the story, not the whole story. I have always been a fluff person. I've yearned for comfort and assurance so when I used to read it in stories between characters, I felt it personally. I liked it. These stories were definitely one of them which were able to radiate their warmth to me. This app became more frequently used than Wattpad over time. A time came when I used to open Wattpad only on any update. Dealing with anxiety and not so good mental health was never a thing I got used to but I tried my best to not to feel too much of anything. I have certain other things too in life which need my equal attention and focus.

One day out of the blue I found an angel, he was beautiful inside out, purest, full of life and positive spirit. Just like everyone says, golden retriever energy. Like this was made for him. Being someone who never got so much admiration and importance, that too genuine was something different yet special and overwhelming for me. I loved him with all my heart. But my mental health issues never went away. That small voice in the back of my head and those damn negative thoughts always scared me of the future. I was happy to meet him but I was more scared to lose him. One day he openly said to me "Please don't leave me, I've always lost those people whom I loved. I don't wanna lose you". Those words were the biggest assurance for me. Finding someone who's scared to lose you as much as you are was a feeling I can never explain. My love for him was growing and blooming day by day. I wanted to have a future with him.

Some days back, I lost him. How, why, what happened..... A very long and dramatic story but I lost him. Neither he's wrong nor me, the situation, the destiny, the reactions are wrong. I Don't know if anything is going to be right any day or not but let's live in this hope. What's wrong with it anyways?

Right now, I am dealing with issues. Mentally drained, physically tired and emotionally broken. And let's not talk about it financially. I was like born broke. Hehe. Having an entrance exam after one month for which I've prepared for one year is not one of the best things that could happen to me in this scenario. But I am trying to deal with it. He's sitting on the complete opposite side of Earth and I know he's not okay either. I hope he'll find a solution to it too. And don't even ask me how strong he is. He is sunshine. I wish I could say my sunshine.

In all this chaos, I found another pure soul @parkdatjimin . I talked to her about everything despite not knowing anything about her and not telling her anything about me. Such a great friend she is. A calm listener, a sensible advisor and what not. Thanks to her for guiding me when I was lost.

I am waiting for the better days. When I will not only laugh but smile from my soul. I hope I'll meet him again one day. Anyway, anywhere but someday. I pray for him to be happier than yesterday and healthier like never before. He deserves everything. I wish I could be a part of his life but ig God has some other plans.

Thanks to him for giving me those days where I waited for his messages like a kid the whole day. I will never stop loving him. I can never stop loving him. May you get everything you want Mr. Caterpillar.

[jackidy]

FFXIVWrite Prompt 4: Off The Hook

Pairing: SidurguWOL (Sidurgu/Rino) Characters: Sidurgu Orl, NB!Vie'ra WOL (Rino Benitoki), Rielle de Cauignont Warnings: End of Shadowbringers spoilers, lvl 70 DRK job quest spoilers Rating: T Fandom: Final Fantasy XIV

Summary: "She's not here anymore, is she?"

Any other time Rino would have laughed and say Rielle was right there, ignore the questions relating to the void parasite in its entirety. Whatever had happened between Gyr Albania and now, had certainly opened Rino up to being more open about it all.

"No… Not anymore."

[AO3]

----

They seem different now, older and yet lighter, Sidurgu content with simply just watching Kiva - no, Rino, they were Rino now - as they devoured the food of the forgotten knight. 

Odd, really, they had always seemed to hate the 'bland' food of Coerthas and yet the other was eating it like it had been years not weeks since they were both last in Ishgard. 

"You know its rude to stare." 

It's not even the warrior of light who calls him out on it, both au ra and viera looking at Rielle, their ward, as she sat opposite them both seemingly observing them. He almost missed when she was quieter and less likely to point these things out. 

" I'm not star-" 

"You can ask abou-" 

They both pause, both staring at one another with surprise before Rino at least laughs a little, giving him that all too familiar reserved smile. "You can ask about it." 

He reaches for their face, gloved hand brushing against the light scales that decorated their cheeks. They used to be black, just like his, Rino having once commented that they hadn't always been that way. A throwaway remark that perhaps the other hadn't expected him to remember. 

"She's not here anymore, is she?" 

Any other time Rino would have laughed and say Rielle was right there, ignore the questions relating to the void parasite in its entirety. Whatever had happened between Gyr Albania and now, had certainly opened Rino up to being more open about it all. 

"No… Not anymore." They sound almost sad, leaning into Sidurgu's touch, catching the auri man off guard. Affection between them was never this public, never this open, both too shy about it to dare. 

"I feel emptier." Rino continues with a sigh but he can tell they're conflicted about it, doubting the feeling of that emotion in its entirety. "Zem was with me for over 13 years, everything is just silent now." 

"Is that not a good thing? You…" 

Compliments are still difficult, especially ones like this. It's too forward to state they now look as they always did to him, beautiful and content, finally relaxed and less akin to carrying the weighted fate of not just this star on their shoulders. As ironic as that statement seemed to be. 

"It is!" Rino suddenly exclaims, hands up in front of their chest in mock surrender and jolting away from him before curling in on themselves. As if to be louder than a murmur was a crime in this otherwise busy inn. "It is, it's just a change I'm not yet accustomed to." 

Sid frowns as Rino stares at their hands, noting the bow on their back as opposed to the usual tome at their hip and he inwardly swears at his lack of observation. The change was more than just a loss of a voidsent, could Rino even still summon as they did before, the constant presence of the bow seemed to state otherwise. 

"Y'shtola got me in contact with her sister, they're both looking into what I lost and what can be recovered." 

The answer is unknown then, at least for now, silence stretching between them but it's not stilted now at least, comfortable as it had always been. "I have to make my way to Gridania in a few days." 

That makes Sidurgu pause. The last time they had ventured south to the Shroud it had gone badly, the viera in a constant state of discomfort until they've crossed the border once more and the other had let out a heavy sigh and complained of elementals. 

"Do you want-" 

"We're going with you." 

Rielle cuts him off, smiling in that coy way she does when she's up to something - the one he can read clearly and then one Rino has always fallen for. "I would love to hear more about where you've been whilst he was worrying." 

She turns more and more into Fray with each day, Sidurgu folding his arms and sighing as Rino and Rielle talked. 

To Gridania it is then.

[gaycey-sketchit]

(Gary anon) And of course there's the infamous "Professor Oak cares more about Ash than he does Gary" that was 'borrowed' from their game counterparts. To this day, I don't understand how you'd get that impression looking at OS alone. Just because Ash and Oak had more on-screen interactions, does not mean he favors him over his grandson. Not even after Gary lost indigo and loosened up. (Yeah, I've seen that one. Seen a few on it) I imagined being born into a celebrity family

.

(Part 2) is bound to cause a kid to have self-esteem issues, no matter how hard the parents try to give the kid a relatively normal life. (The question is, how'd they do it? Cause they can't just drop him and not give some explanation why) I'm sure he still has the ability to annoy Ash, he just has no reason to do it currently. That's what Goh's for. :P (Not doubt those losses humbled him and caused him to do some soul-searching before getting back in the game. And pushes this wisdom onto Ash)

(Part 3) (OP talk: Hmm, where to start? Okay, based on yesterday's episode. I can definitely Leon bending the rules so Ash can all 3 gimmicks in the final battle. Lucario being shown as the one to face Charizard has me suspicious. If this IS Ash's last series and final hurdle, wouldn't Pikachu be more appropriate. Maybe ) Guess the other Regis will be the final mission before Mew. (Contest Chloe is back in discussion again and may be connected to Wallace and his niece) One of the animator)

(Part 4) (stated; like certain older OPs, some scenes might get updated as the episodes go on. I guess it's that montage that showed us who came and who's coming, may have people switched out later. So there's still surprises left. (Speaking on who's coming. I suspecting Greninja, Clemont, and Bonnie, will be bundled together. Maybe Zygarde related; maybe Greninja finally re-joins Ash) Purple-haired guy himself: Had an increasingly strong feeling he was coming; with Cynthia

(Part 5) being back, her words from DP come back full force. Maybe he and Ash will shake hands this time, only rival who's never done this. Curious how he'd be portrayed; not in the camp that thinks he'd mess with Goh and be harsh on him for no reason. Someone pointed out the shot he's in resembles the location of the Sinnoh League. There or the Battle Frontier is where i would expect the battle. (*ahem* I have no room to talk because I want this for Gary; for different non-PWC reasons,)

(Part 6) (but I don't get why some fans are SO sure the writers will do a third 6v6 with this guy? As opposed to doing that with Cynthia; which I don't think is happening either. An Infernape vs Electivire rematch I can sorta understand; but again, we're most likely get something with Torterra than a rehash of that climatic fight again. A 3v3 is likely at most)

Yeah, I have never understood how anyone could think that's the case in anime canon? Animeverse Professor Oak loves his grandson so much and is always so proud of him, it's very sweet.

Absolutely--being born into that, realizing when you're a child that everyone has these Expectations of you because of your family name... it'd have to be a lot of pressure. It's no wonder we see him get so down on himself at perceived failures.

That is the question... I really don't know. I wonder if the Viridian Gym has actually managed to keep anyone in the position long-term since Giovanni left.

Yeah, I guess he's just picked his target for the time being. No need to mess with Ash right now.

For sure. A brutal loss at the Viridian Gym followed by being taken out in the preliminaries of the league... he kind of got the ego beaten out of him. Had to make him realize he needed to change.

Lots of interesting stuff! I'm really excited for the possibility of Chloe doing a contest, contests are one of my favorite things to watch in the anime and it'd be a good opportunity to show or at least mention some other coordinators.

Yeah, I saw some talk of that, considering that bit has pretty brief shots without much animation. Exciting stuff! I wonder who else we'll get to see!

I won't lie, I'm wary of how Paul will be handled. I've expressed before that I don't like him, but I also acknowledge that he's an excellent character, and he's such a good character because he's such a bad person. His rivalry with Ash in DP was one of DP's strongest points for how their conflict of principles raised the stakes. And not knowing how that'll carry over makes me nervous.

I don't think Infernape should have to face its abuser again. It already triumphed against him. When Ash faces Paul again, hopefully it'll be something different.

But putting that aside, looks like things are going to be very interesting in the coming months! I'm eager to see what the future holds for these characters!

[cienfleurx]

𝐖𝐄'𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐄 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒, 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓? ᵇᵒⁿᵗᵉⁿ ᵛᵉʳ

✑ CHARACTERS: sano manjiro. sanzu haruchiyo. ran haitani. 

✑ HEADCANON: them when the fake relationship between the both of you ended.

✑ GENRE: slight angst. senior au.

✑ WARNING: explicit language. hurt / no comfort. bad bitch y/n. vaguely proofread. dissatisfied ending, tbh.

✑ SYNOPSIS: sanzu haruchiyo should be dying out of happiness right now, so why was his heart aching in betrayal at the sight of your figure trading cigarettes with someone who wasn’t him?

SANZU HARUCHIYO

Sanzu Haruchiyo is someone who is always out of his mind. That’s it. That is how you describe your very own friend, who is currently exchanging cigarettes with you at the abandoned class at the college department. His diamond scarred-lips blew open as smoke billowed around him, his emerald eyes darting at you once you put your palm in front of him, extending for the smoking pot you had uncovered upon witnessing his distressed demeanor earlier.

“I have a better proposal, Haruchiyo.” you stated, running your fingers along your locks. “Instead of hurting and stressing yourself over a damn bitch, how about date me? Like, for real. No pretend.” you dared in confidence, observing how the rosette’s orbs widen a bit before chuckling like an insincere fool.

“We’re already dating, you dumbass.”

You rolled your eyes from the way he avoided what you truly meant. Over the course of years of knowing the rosette, there was one thing the you have taken note of him amidst this fake relationship thingy you both have. Sanzu Haruchiyo is aware of your feelings for him, yet disregards it for the reason that he wants to keep things cool between the two of you. Just a chill friend slash pretend girlfriend, there for him in his crestfallen times, but never one to consider your feelings when you are hurting your own self too because of him. 

He was a blatant asshole in your opinion. An asshole that you had found yourself somewhat falling in the process of being in this artificial relationship with him. Unfortunately for you, he only had his heart on the sweetest woman of your batch, Aoi; someone who is exactly the opposite of your rough characteristics as a woman, and someone who is considerably, much better than you in all aspects.  Brains. Looks. Attitude. Confidence. Good girl vibe. She had it all. Got it good and easy.

A sweet girl who can tame the mad man himself. Very trope ideal, indeed. 

“You knew very well what I meant, Haruchiyo.” you sighed, turning back to throw the blunt, which he barely caught on time.

Fuck it, fuck him. You were tired. You knew that this whole pretend-relationship was bad from the start, but you did not know that it was this bad. It always had you on the edge; on the process of insecurities kicking in because of your oftentimes comparison with the sweetest girl he wanted. You did not realize it was this difficult to fake the whole thing with him until you were already making a fool of yourself by becoming a tool to Haruchiyo in order to reclaim the love of his life. For the love of God, your affection to him was genuine, but your relationship with him is fake? Screw it. When there isn't an empty slot to even consider, where do you put your love on?

“[Name].” he stated, tone stern from the way your back was now turned against his.

“It’s either this or that, Sanzu.” the rosette blinked, his austere facade faltering and his fingers nearly crushing the blunt into pieces. His so-called last name. It rolled past your lips and strangely, it made his heart squeeze in discomfort. “Simple thing. You either lose me or her. Though, I’m pretty sure you were never going to pick me, so I’m already calling this shitty deal between us off in advance and go on with my way.”

“You don’t mean that.” he pressed, jaw clenching.

You brushed him off with your right hand, pocketing the other one in your skirt. 

“I do, you asshole.” shit has been too much for you, and he still thinks everything you've done has been a tongue in cheek comment? Sanzu Haruchiyo must have been too high of not only his wits, but himself too. “That blunt was our last; never call me again if you still have the slightest respect for me.”

Sanzu watched your figure left his vision, having this one single thought that you did not really mean those words thrown at him. For god’s sake, you love him. You don’t meant that. His lips heaved a long drag of smoke, trying to ease his troubling heart. Right, tomorrow, just like what often happens, you will come around. Like how you usually do, you will go back to him. You will return to his side. He does not have to be so tense. This has happened a lot of times before. It was merely one of your episodes where you cut ties with him and then come back tomorrow as if nothing happened. Right, that must have been it. After all, when it comes to liking someone, you cannot really resist them in any kind of way, right? 

“Holy shit, seems like someone’s ignoring you.” Ran whistled, lips twisting upwards upon seeing your figure brush off the rosette’s existence. It was just another day, another hellish morning at school when Sanzu Haruchiyo and the Haitani brothers fall back at the lockers to wait up for their own respective girls. Much to their surprise though, you, who was always first to arrive since you do not wanna mess with a certain Princess Poppy-wannabe of their circle, simply walked past him, completely detaching yourself from any usual greetings you would welcome him.

Rindou followed along his brother, attempting to piss off the rosette.

“Things between you already over?”

“No,” Sanzu instantly answered, though he cannot deny how much your actions had taken him back. Brows furrowed, he portrayed his confusion over this matter. “We’re still together.” 

“Ah, really.” Ran nodded, though still in doubt. “Wonder if you would still say that when that woman approaches you?”

Sanzu glanced up to see the Haitani brothers looking at a certain someone at the hallway. Aoi. She was beaming her angelic cerise smile, a feature of hers that never fails to stun the rosette even from before. Frequently, he would feel his heart skip a beat upon sensing her joy. Upon feeling her presence so close to him, much like what is currently happening, Sanzu would constantly feel his brain malfunction for a moment, while he spouts incoherent words, seemingly unable to comprehend anything at all from how god-sent she looks.

However, right now, despite the words that passed through her lips about how she wanted him back, how she longed to feel his arms again, and how she craved his love again, Sanzu could still not make the most of it to feel the emotions that he had felt to her before. The heart-skipping moment that always seems to leap out of its ribcage, the brain dysfunctionality, and the wavering words; he could not exactly feel all of it in this moment.

Sanzu Haruchiyo was confused. He had no idea why this was happening to him all of a sudden. Why his heart felt empty even though he had yearned for this day to come. Like come on, it should be obvious that he should be satisfied with this result. He should be jumping and hugging her out of joy; tears brimming his lids for having this chance to be with the woman he loved again.

Sanzu Haruchiyo should be dying out of happiness right now, so why was his heart aching in betrayal at the sight of your figure trading cigarettes with someone who wasn’t him? Why was he so desperate of getting in contact with you, when the woman he had wanted all these years, is already standing in front of him and begging for him to take her back?

Shouldn’t he be focusing on her rather than bothering you?

After all, Aoi was the girl he loved. 

The one he wanted back. 

Not you, unless he had his feelings wrong all this time.

FINISHED: sano manjiro. sanzu haruchiyo. ran haitani.