#you just know he’d be an annoying shit about it (affectionate)

[youregonnabeokay-kid]

Buck being potentially older than Eddie has so much potential

[titaswrld]

I have a request for a deadpool fic, if you could make a very angsty story where deadpool thinks he is undeserving of love and never thinks someone in this world would fall for him 😭 he is self-conscious about his looks and never in his right mind it crossed him that he has a chance with the reader, but he would do anything just to feel loved. he's just a constantly depressed ball of sadness, and the only way he copes with his thoughts is his dark humor. while the reader is head over heels for that man, and she's showering him in love, but he only thinks it's because they're friends 😭🫶🏼

monster

description: wade wilson being insecure about his looks, not knowing if the girl he loves would ever love him back.

paring: wade wilson x reader!

contains: angst! with happy ending (i didn’t know how to end it😭)

w.c: 1.2k

|an: finally writing forreals again! i needed to get back into it. thank u for ur request, i hope u like it�� reader is a baker bc i couldn’t think of a more wholesome career path😭

you’ve known your best friend, wade wilson, for almost a year now. starting off as just occasional friends, hanging out at each other's apartments, watching chick flicks, and eating your weight in junk food until your friendship grew into something deeper, feeling nothing but love and admiration for another and the desire to be something more.

he’s so in love with you; he knows that now. he tried to deny it; he tried telling himself there’s no way, there’s absolutely no way a woman as intelligent, as confident, and as kind as you could ever love a monster like him. He knew you deserved better—a handsome, young, intelligent accountant or something.

his field of work is dangerous; he knows that. killing random people he doesn’t even know for cash. large sums of cash, sure. but, nonetheless, killing. he honestly always found it humorous, a trained marksman, mercenary, and vigilante , with his super cool awesome, still in school to become a pâtissière best friend!

he knew you’d leave; he knew no human being on planet earth could bear even looking at his rough, bumpy skin. that’s why he’s yet to show you his face, never failing to wear his mask around you, even though you’ve known each other for so long now. he didn’t know why you were still around after all this time even with the mask on, he knew most people found him to be annoying, aggravating, and just an all around piece of shit person, but for some reason, you liked him, and you enjoyed being around him.

he’s never had someone so close to him, as you are with him. you’re so kind, so affectionate, and so touchy. he thinks it’s just pity, you’d never think of him as anything more than a friend.

he dreamt of being the man who loved you the rest of your life; he wished that he could fall asleep and wake up to your face every day, make you laugh every day, eat every meal with you, watch every movie and every show, spend every holiday together, fuck, even start a family. he craved you. he craved your love, your care, and your kindness; he wanted to be normal with you, but he’s not normal, far from it. he knew better than that. he knew he didn’t deserve that. he would never be the man that you love.

he’s not ready to let you go, but he can’t keep his feelings for you inside any longer. he honestly dug himself into an even deeper hole, choosing to come over almost every free night he had. he couldn’t stay away from you; he hated being away from you. during every mission and every fight, all he thought about was coming home to you. you’re the only person who truly understood him for the man that he is, and he loves you for that. he’s never opened up to anybody the way that he’d opened up to you. you were special, so special to him. he was terrified.

you felt hopeless, stupid, and desperate. every advance you made, you’d failed. from baking him his favorite treats, to holding his hand while you watched a movie on the couch, to giving him hugs that lasted a little longer than necessary after a long mission, you couldn’t get your best friend out of your mind, not if you tried. hou crave him, his love, his care, his stupid fucking jokes that never end, his sarcastic nature, his sass—you don’t think you have ever loved a man the way that you love wade.

sometimes, he made you think that he might like you back, that he might have some sort of romantic interest in you, but it was quickly shut down after he made a joke, basically telling you that it would never happen.

you and wade were sitting on the couch, just talking, telling stories, and catching up after a particularly long time apart. until you had thought of a statement, that could’ve told you whether or not wade may or may not feel the same way.

your best friend, mia, had mistaken you and wade for a couple while on the phone. when you denied her statement, she apologized, saying she’s sorry for assuming, but you did spend all your time together..

when you told wade what she said, he doubled down in laughter before spitting out, “you? me? never. who is this friend? have i met her? has she seen me before? you might need to get her 5150’d.”

which did shatter your heart into a million pieces, but nonetheless, it wouldn’t stop you from trying to show him how much you care, how much you want to be with him, and how much you want to love him. he deserved love, and you wanted to give it to him.

each time he made a self-deprecating joke, it broke your heart. it was torture for you. the most he would ever do is lift his mask slightly when he ate with you, only to pop a piece of food in his mouth, then sheathe his face with his mask once again to chew, repeating the process until he’d finished. but even then, you never looked out of respect.

there were multiple occasions where you could’ve snuck a peek, where you could’ve turned around and saw his full face, but you knew how genuinely insecure he felt and how scared he was for you to see his face, so you never looked, not wanting to betray his trust or make him uncomfortable. you loved him, and you wish he understood that absolutely nothing could change that. especially not the way he looks.

today, you were sat on your couch, waiting for him to arrive. He said he’d be over tonight for the usual—rom-coms and junk food. but today, you felt different, your balls finally dropped, and you were ready to admit how you felt, whether it was a good or bad outcome, you were ready.

every single worst-case scenario clouded your thoughts, making your palms sweaty and causing a deep ache in your chest until you heard a knock at your door, saving you from plummeting even farther into your head.

you open the door, and time feels slow motion. you didn’t see deadpool; you saw wade for the first time- the real wade. standing there with an anxious expression plastered across his mottled face, snacks in one hand and flowers ripped from the dirt outside of your apartment complex in the other.

your stomach dropped along with your expression, the shock stunning you into place as you began to gather your thoughts. this is what he was hiding, you thought. jesus christ, all of that trouble for this? you could almost hit him.

wade, on the other hand, paced in your hallway, back and forth for 15 minutes before this, trying to decide whether he should just bail and leave the fucking country or finally stop being pussy and just show you his goddamn face.

after seeing your initial reaction, his head dropped, his gaze on the floor, as he muttered, “i know. total freak show, right? freddy kruger? craterface? cmon, lay it on me.”

now was your chance, as you cupped his face with your hands and pressed your soft lips against his dry, cracked ones. you felt his tense muscles drop and relax as he melted into the kiss, relishing in the feeling and making sure it was real, too.

you’d pulled away, looking him in the eyes and flashing a smile his way before placing kisses all over his cheeks, forehead, nose, and chin.

your gaze fell across his face once again, this time meeting you with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face.

“so— ten things i hate about you, or steel magnolias?”

[werepuppy-steve]

Robin has spent plenty of time watching Steve Harrington from the shadows. The way he continuously stayed on the sidelines of the rest of his friends’ bullying was interesting. He never said too much of anything when it happened, didn’t look all that interested in it, either. Just leaned against a locker and looked bored out of his mind.

Until a week before Thanksgiving break a couple years ago, when Tommy Hagan started bragging to anyone who’d listen about how Steve got his shit rocked by Jonathan Byers and promptly dumped him and Carol to the curb after. Sure, Tommy made sure to mention that Steve was the one to push until Jonathan finally snapped and punched him, but he didn’t say how Steve had gone limp after. Letting Byers rearrange his face until a teacher ran over to break them up.

She remembers how lost he’d looked in the aftermath. Like he was a shell of himself.

So yeah. Steve Harrington isn’t the same person he was in high school. Or at least he’s trying not to be, that much Robin has noticed since he started working at Scoops at the beginning of the summer. But she didn’t think he’d changed so much to be openly flirting with the Freak of Hawkins.

Well. Not exactly flirting, but there’s something there Robin can’t quite put her finger on.

Steve’s manning the counter, right where she’d left him twenty minutes ago, but instead of looking like the picture of boredom slinging ice cream to annoying kids, he’s leaned his elbows on the counter where Eddie Munson is doing the same on the other side. They’re too quiet for Robin to hear what they’re talking about but Steve’s fingers are hooked on Eddie’s watch, not pulling or tugging. Just resting.

Eddie’s hands are clasped in front of him but his pointer finger keeps reaching out to lightly stroke Steve’s arm, and that’s when it hits Robin like a slap in the face.

They’re domestic.

The lobby is empty, save for Eddie’s friends that now occupy one of the booths, loudly arguing over something but Robin could care less because at that moment, Steve says something that has Eddie letting out a cackle laugh, his nose scrunched up and his shoulders shaking as he laughs. Her eyes slide over to Steve and he’s.

Huh.

Gone is the usual smug smirk that graces his face when a girl laughs at one of his (awful) jokes, and is replaced by something… fond. His face is relaxed into a small smile and his round Bambi eyes are shining with mirth. Like he’d expected this reaction. Sometime during this, their fingers have tangled together in a subtle hand-hold across the counter and holy shit.

Steve Harrington is dating Eddie Munson.

One of Eddie’s friends (Jeff, she thinks. They had pre-calc together.) says something and Steve only rolls his eyes as he replies. Eddie’s grinning at them over his shoulder. Neither of their postures have changed. Robin feels like the room’s spinning.

She knows about Eddie. Eddie knows about her. It’s never been verbally said, but birds of a feather and all that. It doesn’t have to be. She must accidentally bump into something in her attempt to rebalance the world because Steve’s head is snapping toward her and panic flashes in his eyes as he tries to rip his hands away from Eddie’s.

Eddie only holds them tighter as he locks eyes with her.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” he tells Steve in a hushed tone. In front of him, Steve’s visibly shaking like a leaf, mouth opening and closing but not making a sound. Robin’s heart breaks a little. He looks downright terrified. Eddie’s eyes haven’t left her. “She’s safe. Aren’t you, Birdie?”

The question is directed at her. She swallows and nods quickly. “Y-yeah!” She winces at the volume of it. Clearing her throat, she tries again, taking a step forward like she’s approaching a frightened animal. “You can trust me, Steve.” Uses his first name instead of the ‘dingus’ that’s grown affectionate. “I'm—” She glances over at the booth that’s gone quiet. She doesn’t want to out herself to the entire freak population of Hawkins High.

“I’m a friend,” she settles on.

It takes Steve a moment for it to sink in, and when it does, his eyes somehow grow bigger in understanding. “Oh,” he breathes out, like a sigh of relief. Eddie’s rubbing his thumb over Steve’s knuckles.

“Yeah, dingus.” Robin’s close enough now to nudge his shoulder with hers. “Oh. Why don’t you go on break? I’ve got this.”

Steve gives her a grateful look and tugs Eddie to the booth to join Eddie’s —their— friends.

“It’s about damn time you guys remembered the rest of us,” the curly haired one complains as they both slide in on the same side. Eddie throws a straw wrapper at him and Robin stops paying attention after that.

permanent taglist: @yournowheregirl @judasofsuburbia @steves-strapcollection @thefreakandthehair @stobinesque @vecnuthy @scarcrossdlvrs @starrystevie @inairbinad @flowercrowngods @starryeyedjanai @matchingbatbites @corrodedbisexual @theheadlessphilosopher @patchworkgargoyle @sentient-trash @wormdebut @legitcookie @corrodedcoughin @steddieas-shegoes @wynnyfryd @sidekick-hero

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[meetmypointlessaddiction]

December Fic Day 5 ~ Party

Summary: You and Logan chaperone for the school's annual Christmas Party.

Warnings: none that I'm aware of but please correct me if I'm wrong

Pairings: pretty sure this is suitable for everyone (fem!reader/male!reader/gn!reader) but I am still new to writing anything other than fem!reader so any pointers are greatly appreciated.

Enjoy and please like and comment if you do. Something as simple as an emoji literally makes my day better so please don't hesitate to comment and obviously reblog to share my work.

December Masterlist

“It’s not even the second week of December! Can someone please explain why we’ve decided, well no actually I had no input in this, why you’ve all decided that today is the day to throw a Christmas Party? Huh?” Logan had been ranting about the annual Christmas party for the last hour and a half. His complaint was that he didn’t have enough time to mentally prepare but you knew that the only reason he was so annoyed was because every other year he’d managed to escape it by, coincidentally, being on a mission that day. 

“Because in case you forgot, jackass, most of the kids go home for winter break on Sunday so we decided to involve them all this year. Isn’t it exciting?” You teased, nudging him with your elbow. “Oh and guess what? I signed us both up for chaperoning! You get to experience it this year, baby. Isn’t it exciting?!” Logan just stared at you, his mouth slightly open as Storm failed to stifle her laugh and Scott just clapped Logan on the shoulder. 

“Yeah baby. Exciting.” Scott mocked and Logan growled, his claws starting to slide from his knuckles before you slapped his arm and shot him a glare. “Party starts at 5. Don’t be late or you're on detention duty till New Years.” 

~~~~~~~~~~

Trying to fight Logan into a suit was impossible. The man was almost 200 years old and yet it felt like you were trying to convince one of the younger students that wearing their pyjamas to class wasn’t acceptable. “You are not wearing jeans and a flannel to this damn party, Logan. I swear to god, put the suit on or I am moving back into my room for the rest of the month.” You threatened and Logan looked betrayed, scowling at you from where he stood in the corner of the room, ‘not sulking’. “3…2…-”

“Alright, fine! I’ll wear the fuckin’ suit. Jesus!” He pulled on the slacks, shirt and jacket, doing up his buttons and belt before glaring at you. 

“And the tie.” You added, holding out the black material for him. He put it round his neck as you took it upon yourself to tie it for him, knowing he'd get impatient and probably rip it to shreds. “There we go, don’t you look handsome.” 

He met your gaze and grumbled. “Ever threaten me with something that serious again and we will have problems.” He said, sternly with a hint of possessiveness in his tone. “What does chaperoning entail exactly?” 

“Logan, your responsibilities as a chaperone are the same as they are every other day of the bloody week. Keep them out of trouble, keep them safe and for the older ones-.” 

“Hands to their bloody selves.” He muttered and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Well I was going to say make sure they don’t get into our alcohol store but I suppose yours works too.” 

~~~~~~~~~~

The festivities had been underway for a grand total of 23 minutes and 47 seconds before Logan stormed over, his signature scowl on his face and his breathing heavy. “Woah Mr Grinch… calm the hell down. What’s wrong? Why do you look like you’ve just caught Scott fucking your mother?” You teased but Logan just growled, pointing over to Jean who was standing laughing with Storm. 

“Santa Claus! Fucking Santa Claus. Did you sign me up for this shit too? Huh?” 

“Oh… no that was not my doing but… you are kind of the best fit, babe.” 

“You think I look like some holly jolly fat bastard who mopes around eating cookies and drinking milk? Thanks bub, real affectionate!” 

“Look, Scott doesn’t have the facial hair and we don’t have a fake beard, Beast has too much facial hair and Kurt is blue for fucks sake. C’mon Logan… for the kids? For Pippa?” 

Pippa was one of the only students Logan had actually taken to in the years he had been working at the school. The 7 year old treated him normally, didn’t try to push his buttons and did nothing but sing his praises to everyone else, so much so that you and the rest of your colleagues were convinced she had a slight crush on him. 

“You’re cruel.” 

~~~~~~~~~~

That was how Logan found himself sitting on the most uncomfortable chair known to mankind, in the corner of the hall, one of the older kids using their power to dye his beard and hair white, in the itchiest red Santa suit and a pillow shoved underneath it, courtesy of Scott. 

The kids took turns sitting on Santa’s lap, telling him the present they wanted for Christmas, which Logan then had to report back to Jean who was dressed as an elf so that Charles could buy each of the children a Christmas present, and then they would collect a bar of chocolate from Storm and go back to dancing their little hearts out to whatever Christmas song Scott played. It didn’t take long to get through all the kids and Logan was quick to wave goodbye to them all and disappear back to your room to change back into his suit. 

When he finally returned, you pressed a quick kiss to his lips in thanks but were rudely interrupted by Pippa tugging on Logan’s sleeve. “Professor Howlett? Professor Howlett.” 

Logan took a deep breath, calming himself down so as not to snap at the poor child. “Pippa. Everything alrigh’?” The young girl nodded eagerly and it was then that you saw Jean and Storm giggling again like teenagers. You excused yourself to walk over to them, leaving Logan talking to Pippa who was animatedly retelling the story of meeting Santa Claus and telling him what she wanted for Christmas. 

“What are you two giggling about? We are meant to be the responsible ones here.” You accused but Storm quickly shushed you, Jean pointing towards the direction you had just come from and you gasped. 

There was your husband, carefully dancing in a small section of the hall with Pippa standing on his feet, laughing loudly as her favourite person in the world tried to teach her how to dance. “Poor girl was riddled with nerves. Wanted us to ask him for her.” Storm said and your heart melted at the sight of the man you loved most being so sweet. “I’d be careful, love. Another few years and you’re gonna have some competition for your man.” 

“Nah… pretty sure only I am strong enough to handle Logan Howlett’s infamous temper and stubbornness but I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Dividers: @coolcatsgraphics

I'm also on A03 :)

[xxlady-lunaxx]

A bit more of a fluffy ask than anything

Sanegiyuu discussing wedding stuff, and Sanemi goes "I think you should give me your last name" bcs he hates his last name despite the respect that came with it.

i say yes

Typically, for opposite sex relationships, the husband’s last name is taken. But, whilst discussing their futures, Sanemi points out that both of them are men. Giyuu’s quick to add that they could technically both keep their own last names, but Sanemi intervenes, poking Giyuu’s cheek to quiet him.

“I think you should give me your last name,” he says, resting his elbow on the table and leaning his head on his hand.

Tengen, who was visiting for the main purpose to be an annoyance, pipes up. “So you’re admitting that Tomioka’s the man, between the two of you?” He smirks. Sanemi throws the nearest thing close to him—an empty tea cup. Tengen, the fucking bastard, dodged it easily.

Ignoring their unnecessary banter, Giyuu hums. “You don’t like your last name? I thought you’d keep it…” He trails off, unsure how he was going to finish his sentence.

“Thought you might like the idea of me not being able to call you by your last name anymore,” Sanemi teases, rolling his eyes. Occasionally, when he was annoyed (or just for fun), he’d refer to Giyuu as ‘Tomioka,’ how he’d done in the past. Giyuu was never quite happy about it.

“That’s not-” Giyuu pauses. “Oh. It’s more than that, Sanemi. It’s just, like, Genya- And… I dunno. There’s a lot more to your name.”

Sanemi grows quiet for a moment. Tengen has the mind to not say anything.

“There is a lot,” Sanemi agrees. His tone is distant, and it’s clear his thoughts are elsewhere.

A flicker of understanding passes Tengen and he adds, “well, Tomioka, you could easily have a lot to your name if you let this guy take it as his own, too.”

Giyuu nods slowly, feeling that there was something more to why Tengen was the one who butted in. But he doesn’t question it, instead scooting closer to Sanemi. “So you’d be Tomioka, too?”

Sanemi flashes him a grin. “Sanemi Tomioka, right?” he confirms. “Fuck, I wouldn’t have thought I’d take the same name as the one I used to curse at.”

“Like, to my face, or alone in your room?” Giyuu pesters.

“Both,” Sanemi concedes.

“He was so damn in love,” Tengen grins. “Even when he thought he hated you, he was actually just fighting off the feelings.”

Sanemi shoots him a look. “I’ll just say that my hatred for you runs quite steadily, Uzui.”

“Okay, so, we’re settling on mine?” Giyuu asks, interrupting their arguing.

“Definitely,” Sanemi agrees. “Wouldn’t mind ditching ‘Shinazugawa’. I’ve had it for long enough.”

“Are you just marrying me so you can change your last name?” Giyuu deadpans.

Sanemi snorts. “Oh, yeah, my entire purpose of our relationship was to take your last name. I’ve never cared a moment about you, I just thought ‘Tomioka’ would be a nice replacement,” he huffs, affectionately nudging Giyuu’s shoulder with his own.

“You could say goodbye to me, too, if that was true,” Giyuu says flatly, though a smile plays on his face.

“I just realized how hard it’ll be to get used to this,” Tengen grumbles. “Alright, Shinazugawa, you’ll just be Tomioka. And Tomioka, you can be the pretty Tomioka. Or something. The original, better Tomioka.”

“You are so good at playing favoritism, there is no way you don’t have a favorite wife,” Sanemi grits out.

“I just like Tomioka better than you,” Tengen says, raising his hands in surrender. “Don’t get so bitter about being a boring person. Can’t believe Tomioka’s actually agreeing to marry you.”

Giyuu smiles. “He has his pros and cons.”

“Wouldn’t take a genius to know which column has more,” Tengen mutters. Sanemi stands.

“You little shit—”

[writing-until-i-drop]

Rough Sex | Javy "Coyote" Machado x reader | wc: 1,274

No use of y/n | 18+ Minors DNI

Warnings! rough sex, biting, dirty talk, spanking, lmk if I missed anything

a/n: thank god for @closetspngirl because this piece kicked my ass and I debated skipping it and hoping no one noticed but you convinced me to finish it

Ao3

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

When Coyote transitioned to a two seater jet he knew he’d be getting a backseater. What he hadn’t expected was you. You had walked into the Hard Deck wearing a sundress that had made his mouth run dry and when you had figured out he was your new pilot, you had greeted Coyote with a hug and a key on the cheek. Then the jackals (his friends) had descended. 

Hangman was first up to bat, trying to charm his way into your pants but you had shot him down. Next was Rooster, who’s cheesy pick-up lines were more effective at turning your cheeks pink than Coyote would have liked. Phoenix had you under her spell with a few whispered words in your ear but she still struck out. Fanboy and Payback had kept things light, shooting for the friendzone and hitting their target, and Bob had just given you a wave. It irritated Coyote how much his squadmates wanted your attention which caught him off guard.

Coyote had never been directly responsible for another person’s safety in the air. Phoenix had warned him that it would be a new experience, what he hadn’t realized was just how…protective he would feel over you. Hangman claimed it was more possessive than protective but Coyote denied everything. He wasn’t possessive. He just didn’t like it when other guys talked to you, or put their hands on you, and he wasn’t particularly fond of the way men looked at you when the team went out for drinks. 

He wanted to be the only one you focused on, especially when you were together. And for the most part, you were good at that. In the air you were constantly in his ear, updating him on navigation and the weapons system. Coyote had assumed that having a backseater in his ear would be annoying but he found himself asking you questions just to hear you talk. The fact that you had moved into the apartment across the hall from him was a bonus, Coyote had helped you finish unpacking and offered to car pool, reveling in the fact that even if 

Right now you were sitting with Phoenix, chatting animatedly with your hands, leaning against the wall at the Hard Deck. When he heard what you were saying, he nearly dropped his beer.

“Honestly, you wouldn’t think it’d be this hard to find a guy willing to fuck the shit out of me.” Phoenix cackled, throwing her head back as if that was the funniest thing she’d ever heard but Coyote didn’t find it funny. He looked around, no one else was listening in except for poor Bob whose cheeks were cherry red.

“What about that guy I set you up with last week?” Last week? You had gone on a date last week? You groaned,

“He wanted to be all kissy and affectionate which is weird with a guy you don’t really know, at least for me.” 

“As much as I hate to say it, Bagman could probably get the job done,” Absolutely not. Coyote put down his beer, approaching your table. He liked the way your cheeks flushed pink when you caught his eye,

“Ready to go home, sweetheart?” Your brows scrunched in confusion, normally the two of you stayed much longer, but since we was your ride, you nodded, saying goodbye to the team. Coyote took a chance, pulling you into his side, his grip tight on your waist.

“Jav, what’s going on?” 

“You told Phoenix you needed something,” Your little gasp was enough to break the last of Coyote’s restraint. “And I’m the only one who gets to give you what you need. If you’ll let me.” Coyote pushed you against the side of his car, lips attacking your neck. You said you didn’t want kisses and affection, you wanted something rough, and he’d be damned if he let anyone else do it. “What do you say, sweetheart?” 

You moaned, tilting your head to give him better access, spurring Javy on. He nipped at your neck, savoring the sounds you made for him.

“Is that a yes?” 

“Do you need a written invitation, Jav?” You pushed his shoulders but didn’t let him get far, gripping his shirt. The look you gave him was dark and flirtatious, you had used it on him several times before. Your favorite pastime seemed to be teasing him but he never thought you meant anything by it because you’d laugh it off the second you said it, falling back into normal conversation. “Am I going to have to walk you through this? Should I go back in there and see if Bagman can get the job done?” 

“Get in the fucking car,” Javy snapped and after a second, you complied. 

“Fuck,” Your moans were muffled by the pillows on Javy’s bed as he plowed into you from behind. He was gripping your thighs tight enough to bruise, raising them to the perfect angle that let him hit deep inside of you with every thrust. You would never be able to look at your pilot the same way again, not when he was rearranging your insides while growling in your ear.

“You have been driving me crazy for fucking months, do you know that?” You couldn’t respond, your mind focused on the feeling of his cock filling you completely. “Letting the other guys flirt with you when you’re mine, all fucking mine, arent’ you?” God, being his sounded like a dream. “My backseater, my responsibility, my girl.”

“Yours,” You whined, “Spank me.” Javy didn’t hesitate, bringing his calloused hand down on your ass. He did it again and again, your ass stinging, Javy wasn’t holding back and you couldn’t have been happier. Fuck he felt good. He was doing everything that every other guy you had slept with thus far had failed to do.

“I’m the only one who gets to do this, do you hear me?” He pulled out and you instantly felt empty, crying out. “Tell me what I need to here, sweetheart, tell me the truth.” Javy rolled you onto your back, stroking himself over you. 

“Only you, all yours, please,” You were babbling but you meant it. This was all you had wanted for months, ever since you had first walked into the Hard Deck and found out that he was your pilot. “Javy, please. I need you.” 

“Good girl,” Javy thrust into you, leaning over your body. You were writhing beneath him, desperate for your release. He captured one of your nipples between his teeth and you cried out, scratching down his back. “Play with yourself, sweetheart. I want to feel that pretty cunt squeezing my cock and I want to feel it now.” You reached down, rubbing your clit, and it didn’t take long to send you over the edge.

Your orgasm was earth shattering, you couldn’t tell if you were screaming but your throat was burning. Javy kissed your neck, spilling inside of you, fucking his hot cum inside of you with short, hard thrusts. When he pulled out of you he rolled onto his back beside you, bringing you into his side.

“Are you alright, sweetheart?” Javy asked as you snuggled into his waiting arms. You rested a hand on the back of his neck, 

“Can I get a kiss finally?” Javy hadn’t kissed you once the entire time and you were in dire need of his lips on yours.

“I thought kissy, affectionate sex wasn’t what you wanted?” 

“Not with other guys but you’re my pilot,” You pulled his head down, brushing your lips over his. “And I want you to kiss me.”

Taglist: @wanderingsoul6261 @halflifejess @kyemna @alipap3 @yutangwl @teacupsandtopgun @glenpowellluver @closetspngirl @that-one-fangirl69 @starshinegrl @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @sarah-bear706318 @shanimallina87 @atuman @carolina-on-my-mind03 @winelover27 @cherrycola27 @cevansbaby-dove @glenpowellsvline @runawaybaby3 @helloitzholly @bigstrongblackheart

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[iheartgirlzn]

may we have some hcs for katsuki bakugou where the reader is his kid sibling who got a recessive shapeshifting quirk like Nimona?

CAN A SHARK DANCE

BAKUGO WITH A YOUNGER SIBLING WHO HAS A SHAPESHIFTING QUIRK

pairing: katsuki bakugo x sibling!shapeshifter!reader

warning(s): swearing, probably ooc bakugo, mentions of him hating quirkless ppl and deku LMAO

🎸 notes: hopefully i got this right !! sorry if i got the whole quirk aspect bit wrong :,) // title from the nimona movie — sorry i haven’t read the comicsss

EEE OK OK!

he would never admit that he loves you.

even though he’d actually burn the world for you, because he’s an overprotective brother like that, he would still rather die than ever admit he doesn’t hate you.

this is what would happen if you asked him: “do you love me?” “………………” ← just intense silence with the most disgusted look on his face.

but honestly, he’d be an amazing brother (most of the time).

depending on how much younger than him you are, depends on how nice he is to you.

if you’re a toddler or tween for example (ages 5-9), he’d probably baby you a lot — but aggressively.

IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT ?! he’d act like how mitsuki does with him.

but if you’re a little older, like a teenager, he’d affectionately bully you.

he’d make fun of how you look and who your friends are, call you names, the usual.

speaking of, he’d never remember what any of your friends are called and because he ‘doesn’t know them’ he’d never let you go and hang with them.

dating is also off the table — he’d just be a dick and talk bad about your s/o the whole time. female, male, or anything in between is a big no no.

you’re look a little too nice for a normal hang out? well, guess what: you’re not going 🗣️

i wouldn’t be suprised if you also shared the family anger issues !!

outbursts (either his or yours) would lead to play fights, where you’d be on your back trying to kick him while he’s trying to jump on you and not get hit so he can put you in a headlock.

is SUPER competitive. like it’s actually a bit insane sometimes.

because you’re related to him he expects you to be great at everything—so during any game you play (card game, board game, etc) he wants you to win. but he will beat your ass if you do you actually end up winning against him.

ITS VERY CONFUSING !!

like, he wants you to win… unless it’s to him. and he will most definitely brag for the next month whenever he does beat you in any sort of game or competition.

is one of those older siblings who swears a bunch, all day, every day. but if YOU swear? nope nope nope. he will immediately snitch and look at you like you’ve just disgraced the whole family line. (me core !)

shadows boxes you 24/7. idk, i just feel like he’d do that. he’s like an annoying fly buzzing in your ear.

ANYWAYS!! TO THE QUIRK HCS!!

when you got your quirk he was like a proud dad. y’know that smug tiktok emoji or whatever? that was his face.

he was super excited that you weren’t (and i quote) a ‘quirkless loser’.

you probably pranked him a lot when you were young—turning into your parents or a random hero just to scare him.

the two of you also probably pranked other kids by turning into random pro heroes or some shit 😭 idk i just thought that would be super funny.

when he got into UA, he forced you to train with him and would sometimes make you shapeshift into someone he hated (*cough* deku *cough*) for motivation.

because you’re his younger sibling, of course you’re gonna mock him. so whenever he’d piss you off, you’d turn into him and start saying random shit like: “i love deku! he’s my hero!” or “i’m so angry all the time and have no friends *cue you acting all pouting and sulky*.”

that would always really piss him off. like he’d start exploding your shit.

basically you’re very chaotic and use your quirk to your advantage against him !! and honestly? i respect the grind 🫡

UHMM IDK WHAT ELSE TO ADD… SO BYEBYE MWAH MWAH ♡

[sakuralovespossums]

Human master shake x fem reader headcanons cuz why not

This might be my most cringe post yet. DO NOT READ THIS!!!

How it started/general HCs

Prbly met on the streets or at a grocery store. You found his awful flirting funny and kinda cute

You better have a TON of patience if your gonna be with him

Your relationship isn’t the healthiest (what did you expect? It’s shake) but it’s stable enough

Arguments are so common that’s it’s pretty much part of how you communicate with his stubborn ass. He knows not to push it too far tho out of fear of your wrath

I can see him French kissing you while you’re yelling at him to make you shut up. Sometimes it works. Most times he gets his ass beaten

Will randomly call you to either brag about himself, demand ask when you’ll make him food, or ask for nudes. Doesn’t care how late it is or how busy you are

Total tsundere

Has the nerve to act annoyed when you try to cuddle/kiss him, yet act all jealous when he sees you talking to anyone who isn’t him

Brushes off any PDA to maintain his “image” but will return it if he’s feeling really needy or wants to show you off to everyone

Acts all pathetic and soft when you guys are alone, begging for forgiveness

He’s such an ass. But also so pathetically adorable. He’s your adorably pathetic ass of a boyfriend

You used to worry about him whenever he’d show up looking bloodied and beaten up from whatever dangerous shit he got into because of his stupid ego. Now your just used to it

Meatwad really likes you and you see him as a younger brother much to shake’s jealousy

You and frylock also get along well. At first he thought you were brainwashed or held captive by shake before realizing you genuinely like him. He still worries over you and scolds shake about being a better bf

Shake especially hates it when your near Carl cuz he’s always trying to hit on you

When you met Ezekiel, he quickly saw you as his mommy and kept taking your attention away from shake, making him hate the kid even more

He is such a huge perv

NSFW HCs

Like this guy is so handsy that it’s annoying

Will smack or grope your ass whenever he can

Pulls your bra straps or panties to see them snap and make your tits or ass jiggle

I can see him fondling your tits like a stress ball without even noticing

Will stuff his face in between them to “hide” from frylock when he’s in trouble

Destroys all your sex toys because why the hell would you still use them when you have him?!

“Shake, have you seen my rose toy?”

*Sees him burning it and your other toys with a flame thrower*

Sex with shake was messy at first since you had to teach him how to actually pleasure a woman and that it’s not just about him getting off

Gets off on hearing you praise him

He tops whenever he’s feeling jealous or extra needy for attention (so quiet often)

Becomes super cuddly and kissy kissy during after-care, kissing your fresh hickies while fondling you

He denies ever acting that way later when you bring it up

A good way to grab his full attention is to mention a blow job

He rarely bothers to shave (eww)

Theres def been moments where frylock walked in while you two were doing it

Both you and frylock were embarrassed while shake was just annoyed

Forgets to wear a condom often

Good thing you take birth control

When your on your period

Shake def acts like a middle school boy hearing about periods for the first time

Avoids you like the plague cuz he doesn’t wanna deal with you when your being way moodier than normal

Unless it includes making you extra affectionate. He will gladly accept your kisses, cuddles, and sweet words with a goofy grin

Brings home the wrong pills when you tell him to go by cramp pills

I can see him staring and poking at you as you’re curled up on his lap. You fight the urge to strangle him as another cramp hits you

After being together for a while, he gets somewhat used to it and just lets you lean on him as he watches TV

Living together

Hope you know what your getting yourself into once you let shake live with you

It will never be peaceful again

He will leave your place a total mess

You get complaints from your neighbors/landlord about the heavy metal blasting from your house/apartment room all the time

Better store up on a lot of food cuz he will ransack your whole fridge

Makes up for it by cooking you meals in his pink apron (it’s canon he can cook)

Takes up almost your entire bed. It’s fine since his fat gut is already your own mattress

You wonder how you haven’t gone deaf from his loud ass snoring

You wake up trapped in his arms as he clings onto you, nibbling on your shoulder. You elbow him sharply when he drools on you

You like to wear one of his shirts when going out. It’s a lot bigger on you, so you tuck it in

Going out on dates or running errands with him is an……interesting experience

Everyone still wonders how the hell he managed to pull you

[b4tasquad]

Please do hcs for dating Aj if you haven’t already 🙏🙏

DATING AJ: HCS

Authors note: this is very pg-13, if you guys want a more 🫦🫦 version let me know

. . .

- Having to call him all the time. While Aj doesn’t seem like the clingy and affectionate type, he definitely needs the comfort that comes from hearing your voice throughout the day. During a busy day of filming, he makes sure to spend every break on the phone with you. He’s either complaining, or whining about something. You act annoyed about his obsession with calling you, but the two of you know you secretly enjoy the time spent talking.

- Staying home rather than going out. If the choice between staying in or going out ever presented itself, you most definitely didn’t have to ponder on what Aj would want. He was the biggest homebody you knew, and you found it weird with his chosen profession. You would’ve thought he’d be used to his job related obligations , but if he wasn’t forced out, Aj would stay home no question. Luckily it wasn’t something you minded, the two of you always found something to spend your time doing.

- You making food or ordering in all the time. When you and Aj got together, you’d been warned by everyone close to him about his lack of knowledge in the kitchen. You’d brushed it off as him not wanting to take part in anything cooking related, but that was not the case at all. No, Aj had no problem with being the one doing the cooking. The hard and cold truth was that he was terrible. It didn’t matter what it was, you just knew Aj couldn’t make it for shit. He swore up and down he was decent, but what you’d witnessed and been a victim to was nothing decent. Now, you’d just came to terms with the fact that the task was left up to you: something that made you feel safe.

- Niko being around more than you’d thought. Everyone knew the two of them were as close as friends could get. They were brothers even. What you hadn’t expected from the two grown men, were them being unable to separate. If Niko wasn’t staying at your boyfriend’s, Aj was most likely over at Niko’s. After finding out that they lived together for many years, even after their other friends moved out the shared home, it all kind of made sense. The two of them always managed to make you laugh tho, so you couldn’t complain.

- Him running every crazy idea by you. It didn’t matter how small an idea was, he’d always make sure you liked it before he ever made a video based on it. You’d always tell him it didn’t matter what you thought and that he should trust his own judgment, but you’d always a hear a “It matters to me. So what do you think?” There was really nothing you could bring to the table when it came to anything social media related, but knowing he cared for what you had to say always made you happy.

[youreirrelevant]

Skyglow

pairing: kendall roy/reader

summary: “I want you to take care of me.” That makes him ache. Fills him with that heavy, hot feeling- the one you get when something’s a little wrong.

words: 1787

tags: explicit, sickfic, daddy kink, praise kink, but also a little degradation kink, pwp, established relationship, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, playful sex, like the tiniest bit of fluff, implied age gap, there's really nothing that establishes when this is so

a/n: I started writing this when I was sick a few weeks ago and I thought I'd finish it. It's just for fun. It's a little silly. It doesn't all have to be serious or good.

It always felt like a waste, to stay in bed all day. Somehow scrolling through your phone in the living room seemed more productive than if you did it in bed. You barely even had the energy to do that. Left thinking. Wanting. Always find your mind wandering to him and what he can do for you. A warm, soft place to rest your hands. Press your lips against.

A deep voice to coax you through what his cock brings out of you— 

But the exhaustion was bone-deep. Bending a finger, lifting an eyelid- both felt nearly impossible. Even while lying down you felt weak, like you couldn’t get deep enough into the pillow, into the mattress. You needed to pool and bubble out; water spilled on the counter. 

The door opening wakes you from what must’ve been the fifth nap of the day. You were in a guest room- you didn’t want to get Kendall sick. He had shit to do, things that were “unmissable.” 

It’s dark. You can see out of the window from the bed; the sky is blue-black, a yellow edge on the horizon that fades up into it. Planes blink red and white across it. Only some of the windows in the other buildings are lit, and you wonder how late it really is. It's quiet; you can hear the AC running. The apartment is thrumming with a sleepy energy, like the way voices sound when you’re dozing off- blurred and smoothed at the edges.

“Can I, uh, can I sleep with you?”

You mumble that he can, voice croaky and gone. Scooting further in on the bed to make room for him- every joint aching so badly you almost whimper. He wraps his arm around you, kisses the back of your neck, and breathes. The heat on your skin makes you melt. 

“I couldn’t sleep without you in there with me.”

He brings you a little closer, for emphasis.

“I’d like to say the same, but I’m exhausted.”

A little huff of air from him, an affectionate smile you can’t see. Another kiss, right along your hairline. 

You both lay there for a while, but you don’t fall back asleep. The thoughts are much worse when he’s flush against you, firm thighs and a softer chest. His arms around you- you want him to use them to pull you down over him. 

“Why aren’t you sleeping? You said you’re tired.” He sounds groggy, as if maybe he’d fallen asleep, for just a second. 

“I know I was just- I was thinking of this,” you giggle a little, “of this tweet. Where this guy said that pussy, when someone has a fever, is crazy because it’s so hot.”

He grins so wide it hurts his face.

“Is this your way of, uh, telling me you want me to fuck you?”

“I mean- we gotta at least find out for ourselves.”

Kendall slips his hand beneath the waistband of your pajamas, uses the pads of his fingers to guide your leg up, to drape over his leg. He’s surprised to find you so wet, skin scorching against his. Wonders how long you were thinking about it. Rubs your clit slowly, and you’re practically boneless already. But then fingertips work down, towards your cunt, and you tense in anticipation. He knows you’re sick; he should be nice. But he can’t help but tease, doing it a few times until you whine his name. 

“You need it that bad?”

“Please- ” you sound kind of annoyed, as if his denial doesn’t warm you.

His clothes are moved just enough, but he grips the waistband of your pants to yank them down as far as he can from his position- he wants to get at you fully. They get stuck above your knees, and you huff and whine as you kick them free clumsily. Kendall’s undeterred, puts you back where you were. Presses in easily, and maybe they were right. Your groan is distant in his ears. When he’s seated fully, he rests his forehead against your shoulder.

“Well?”

“It- it is hotter. It could be, uh-,” he makes a muffled sound, like he’s steadying himself, “be in my head, though. Placebo effect, or something.”

You can’t help but laugh a little, the noise scraping out of you so badly he almost couldn’t tell what it was.

“You’re ridiculous. You’ve been asleep all day, I come in to sleep with you and you want me to fuck you.”

“I want you to take care of me.”

That makes him fucking ache. Fills him with that heavy, hot feeling- the one you get when something’s a little wrong. He places a big hand on the back of your thigh, slides it up to lift your ass cheek, spread you open. 

“Like, a daddy thing, or-?”

Oh… man.

“I don’t know if we- if we have to be so- if we need to go quite that far.”

As soon as you say it you’re prepared to recant. It makes your stomach fill with butterflies and warmth but it seems so much more taboo than other things that people would actually consider worse. So heavily stigmatized, something everyone knew about and mocked. His teeth press into your shoulder, like he’s squeezing it out of you. 

“Well- it does sound… kind of hot. Maybe we ease into it? Maybe ‘daddy’ doesn’t have to be said, but implied?”

His hand slips over your hip to rest on your lower stomach, a slow pull and push of his hips as his fingers find your clit again. Not wasting any time.

“You want me to ‘take care’ of you?”

Plush lips slide beneath your ear as he speaks, and every inflection and hard consonant fills you with heat. It’s your words, but from his mouth, it sounds good and perfect and right. His voice is soothing in this condescending way and it makes your lashes flutter.

“Yes, Kendall.”

He uses his palm against your pubic bone to pull you close, allow him to get deeper, fuck a little rougher. Insistent. You reach behind you to grab at his waist, fingers fisting in the soft fabric of his t-shirt. Your voice is fucked- every moan and whimper is broken and raspy and quiet. He kind of likes it, drags his lips over your neck, laughing affectionately when his finger presses harder, rubs at just the right angle, against just the right side and you cry out hoarsely. Barely able to keep your eyes open before but you want him so fucking bad. 

It’s like you’re next to a fire; you can practically see a red glow coming from your skin, penetrating your closed eyelids. You’re limp, melted into the smooth sheets, rolling weakly against him when you really need it. His brows pinch and his jaw falls open with a desperate noise before his lip is tucked beneath his teeth. Kendall props himself up on his elbow, fingers slipping into your hair, damp from sweat, turns your head enough to kiss you. So slack and pliant. You don't even think to stop him. 

“Does that feel better? Is this what you needed?” 

Jesus. It’s as if your brain is already fried- you’re already gone. Making some noise that’s probably the saddest attempt at an ‘mhmm,’ ever been done. Trembling, pulled tighter, breathing ragged and uneven and burning in your chest and throat. He brushes the tip of his nose over your temple- his own breath puffs rapid and hot against you.  Grunting when you grip even tighter. 

When you cum, it's so good it hurts. Like massaging a sore muscle, or fingers into your cheeks when your sinuses ache. It seeps into your hips and belly and back and you lean into it, into him. He shushes you and you can’t help but let out this startled ‘ god .’ You want to tell him he feels perfect, fucking perfect, but the words don’t come out. His pace doesn’t falter -no matter how snug and plush and slick you are around him- and it makes it seem like it’s lasting forever. 

Kendall thinks it’s lasting forever; you’re over a cliffside, on the other end of a rope, trying to pull him down when he has to keep you up. He makes sounds like he’s struggling; when you finally relax, he sounds relieved. 

Part of him wants to keep it up, and he can’t help, for a second, seeing the new ease with which his fingers slip over you, pressing three flat against your labia to make you squirm from the sensitivity. But that doesn’t last long, arm moving to wrap around your waist to hold you in place. Insistent. 

You’re awash with fatigue, fingers curling around the edge of your pillow, lids low over your eyes. Each time his hips meet your ass you make these pathetic little noises from the impact, sometimes barely even audible. He grabs your face again to turn you toward him- you feel hot, cheeks flushed to show it. Skin around your eyes, shiny, blueish, almost cartoonish. But you look up at him dutifully.

“You’re so pretty when you take it for me.”

That reignites something in you, makes you moan and grab at him.

“Such a pretty, perfect little girl deserves to feel good. Always desperate to cum on my cock- thinking about it when you can barely fucking think.”

You let out something between a gasp and a laugh, stunned. Thrown against the ledge but you can’t go over until you get that little bit more. 

“I- Ken, can you- would you-?”

This is how it always goes- just one more. Kendall gives it to you and goes to get his, but it always puts you right there, and he can’t help but oblige. He wants to tell you to do it yourself, because you’re tired, and maybe you won’t get off and you’ll get frustrated and whine. That makes him feel orange-hot and tingly, makes his hips stutter at the thought. But that’s not what this was tonight. The wide pad of his middle finger is tight against you -swollen, slick- and even with how fast you cum, he cums faster, hips so rough against yours that you whimper and wince.

He’s almost as light-headed as you are, almost as lax, weak. Every inch of you is unbearably heavy; it's like your skin could slough off your face. It’s so good.

“I might bring a whole new, literal level to sleeping like the dead.”

Your voice cracks and you slump forward onto your stomach, keeping your face turned from him.

“At least you’ll feel better.” Smiling softly, rubbing your back.

“You’ll join me shortly, since you fucking kissed me.”

[lycanlupins]

SFW Alphabet - Jimmy Darling

Warnings: None

AN: holy shit its been so long since i’ve written for the evan characters, sorry if its ooc but i missed this guy ♥️

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He’s very physically affectionate! He’ll hold his partner whenever he can, rub the back of their hand with his thumb, anything he can do to constantly be touching them.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He would probably be wary at first if they weren’t a “freak”, but he would soon seen them at every show or nearly every show and start to chat them up a bit. He knows they don’t treat him any different and he’d probably let his guard down.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

BIG cuddler! He likes to spoon or cradle his person for sure. He’d probably give little back rubs or soft kisses on their temple/top of the head.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He’s so domestic its actually probably annoying to everyone else. He wants to settle down, have kids, live the “american dream” life. Even if he adopts the kids, he wants the whole white picket fence and golden retriever vibes.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He would tell them gently but firmly. He knows its for the best, what with everyone in any town hating him for the way he looks, and maybe he knew that his partner wouldn’t have thrived living with the rest of them.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He’s down for commitment 100%. He’d probably take some convincing but about half a year at the very most would be how fast he’d get engaged, he’s an old school kind of guy. He sees something he likes and he’s gonna make sure he keeps it close by.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He pretends to be a hard ass but he’s really a softie. He wants to be loved and held and coddled just as much as he loves to do that for others.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He’s got a solid hug for sure. Probably warm and inviting but also one that shows he’s a safe space and a protector.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He’d say it so fast if he were drunk. Give him a bottle and he’d tell his partner after a few weeks of dating, but sober it might take him a month or two. He wants to make sure his partner is the one.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Big jealous man alert!! He’s one to hold his partner extra tight to him or kiss them around someone he’s a wee bit cautious of. He gets extremely jealous around people without a deformity flirting with his partner.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

They range from soft and sweet to passionate and hungry, but mostly they lie somewhere in between. He likes to kiss his partners hand a lot but he absolutely melts when his partner does the same for him. Especially when he’s feeling anxious, a soft kiss to his palm will soothe him immediately.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He’s good around children and wants them in the future, at least 2 to start, maybe 3-4 at the most.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Usually he’s up early doing physically intensive work but sometimes he likes to sleep in and hold his partner in the soft morning light.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Usually watching TV if he has one, if not he likes to relax with the radio quietly playing in the background and his partner by his side with cold beer in his hand.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He’s not an open book by any means. He’s cautious for a reason but after a few months he’ll probably start to open up emotionally. He won’t trauma dump immediately but you’ll learn a lot very quickly once he’s comfortable.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He’s not super patient, he has a quick temper and he’ll make sure he gets his point across whether the person likes it or not.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He takes in details super easily so he’d remember everything his partner tells him. He’d remember their favorite flower, favorite book, anything that makes them smile he would be sure to take note of.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment is probably meeting his partner. He would remember every detail of their outfit, if they were wearing makeup, what style their hair was in, he’d reminisce on every detail of that day when he’s feeling sad.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He would die or kill for his partner no questions asked. He puts his money where his mouth is but doesn’t expect the same out of his partner, he just wants to be sure they know he loves them through and through.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He puts in a lot of effort, mostly physical labor, to make sure everything is perfect. He likes to work with his hands to show his love. Whether that be making something for his partner or driving them anywhere without letting them lift a finger, he wants to be sure they’re taken care of.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

His drinking habits he picked up are bad for a while. He also has an awful temper and he’s stubborn. So very stubborn.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He knows he’s hot so he keeps up with it a little but really he just goes about his day without paying any mind to it.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He would feel so incomplete without his partner once he has them. Its like he’s missing half of himself without them around.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He’s a sleep talker! Especially when he’s only half asleep or just barely fell asleep, he’d probably whisper cute or incoherent things to his partner which would make them giggle.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Someone who’s a sloppy drunk. He’s dealt with it enough from his own bloodline, he doesn’t need to add any more of it to his life.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He sleeps sprawled out on his mattress unless he’s with his partner, then it can go either way with his partner curled up in his arms or laying on top of him with his arms wrapped around them.

[sephirthoughts]

Vincent's New Kid Just Dropped CH 15: (fucking finally)

prev. chap here

back in the present, sort of ollie-centric, reeve is bewildered, nero gets several surprises in a row

RATING: teen and up there are several swears

WARNINGS: baby drooling a lot, giant spiders

NOTES: er-ge (ahr-guh): second elder brother, gege (guh-guh): elder brother affectionate. ollie's baby babble uses these terms

this man needs several lifetimes of vacations

darkness tentacles cause i think they're neat

“Stop that,” Sephiroth scolded. “What are you doing?” 

“I’m getting some juice,” Nero replied.

“If you want something, ask politely.” 

“Why is it more polite to ask someone else to pass me something, when I can get it myself?” 

“Because it’s rude to reach across the breakfast table with your disgusting tentacles.”

Cid, who had never heard Sephiroth sound even mildly annoyed since he’d begun constantly being here, looked up from his bowl of eggs and rice. “What’s goin’ on, you two?”

“My brother is jealous because I slept with our father,” Nero cheerfully announced, as one of his darkness tendrils poured juice into his glass, from the carafe.

Cloud choked on his coffee, Ollie burbled gleefully, and Vincent pretended not to hear any of it, from behind the week-old edition of the Wutai Times, he was reading. 

“Don’t say ambiguous things to intentionally cause misunderstandings,” Sephiroth said, tugging the carafe from the tentacle’s grasp.

“You know, Sephi had a duel with my brother Weiss, once,” Nero intimated to Cloud.

“Your older brothers fought each other?” Cloud asked curiously. “I didn’t know that. When?”

“It was years ago, when Weiss was sixteen. Shinra broadcast it on live television.”

“Holy shit. How’d that go?” 

“Sephi was the favorite to win, but Weiss nearly killed him,” Nero smiled beatifically. “In the end, he had to cheat. Isn’t that right, Sephi?”

“What did I just say about intentionally causing misunderstandings?” Sephiroth replied flatly. “You are mischaracterizing the situation.” 

“Oh? Then do correct me.” 

“I never wanted to fight Weiss. I was called back from an important mission and forced to participate in a product demonstration, for the executives. Hojo deceived him and used an implanted control chip, which was the product, to cripple him, halfway through the fight. The point was to demonstrate its effectiveness to the board.”

“And how very effective it was,” Nero sneered. “By the way, did you know that Genesis visited us, in Deepground, before the fight? He sparred with Weiss, and gave him tips on how to beat you. He said it was time you were knocked down a peg.”

Sephiroth’s brow knit and his jaw tensed, but he ignored the taunt, and spooned some cubed peaches into Ollie’s bowl. 

“Nero, that’s enough,” Vincent’s deep voice said from behind the newspaper. “No reason to needle your brother’s old wounds.”

“Sorry, father,” Nero replied dutifully.

“I liked it better when you sulked in your bedroom all day,” Sephiroth muttered.

Breakfast continued in silence, but for Ollie’s cooing and babbling, and the occasional rustle of Vincent turning the page of his paper. All the while, unobserved by anyone, a spider-silk-thin strand of darkness had been creeping along under the dining table, climbing the leg of the baby’s high chair, like a vine.

Now, it slithered up and coiled around a chubby ankle, disappearing inside a lavender sock. Ollie gave a loud squeal and kicked her legs, but when Sephiroth looked, assuming she’d dropped some peaches into her lap, there was nothing amiss. 

“Are you all done, Ollie?” Cloud asked. “You want to go play?”

“Mama,” Ollie agreed, reaching out her little hands, which were dripping sticky peach juice. 

Nero rested his chin in his palm “Why does she call you mama, when Sephi is clearly the maternal one?” 

“Uh…” Cloud looked at Sephiroth, who was carefully cleaning the baby’s face and hands with a damp cloth, while she wiggled and refused to cooperate. “Who knows. Maybe because I’m small?”

“Why are you so small?”

“You know we’re the same size, right?”

“Yes, but I was born in prison, and suffered from severe malnutrition, as a child.”

“I was malnourished, too. Grew up poor, with no father, in a tundra climate. My mother and I hunted, as much as we could, but…we weren’t welcome in the men’s hunting parties. They’d clear out most of the small game, before we got a chance. Got pretty rough. Especially in winter.”

“So, it was just you and your mother against the world,” Nero sighed. “You must miss her.”

Sephiroth stood abruptly and left the room.

“Why do you have to say shit like that?” Cloud said irritably, after he’d gone. “You know it’s a sensitive subject.”

Nero looked genuinely taken aback. “I was only asking casually. I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s fine. Whatever. Come on, Ollie. Let’s go find gege and we’ll all play a game.” So saying, Cloud gathered up the squirming baby and left the dining room. 

“I know you didn’t intend to be malicious,” Vincent said, folding up his paper. “Just be more careful, from now on.”

Nero crossed his arms sullenly. “I was being careful. No matter what I say, it’s wrong.”

“How d’you think Sephiroth’s gonna act, when you been primin’ him with all that shit talk?” Cid pointed out. “He’s got no reason to give ya the benefit of the doubt.”

“He’s just too sensitive,” Nero groused. “I don’t cry about it, if people mention the horrible things I’ve done. I don’t care.”

“But he does care,” Cid said. “He ain’t you. Can’t judge other people by how you feel.”

“People are so confusing,” Nero said dolefully.

“Tell me about it,” Vincent snorted. “I’ve spent my entire life trying to learn how to interact with other humans, to little avail. I’m afraid I’m still as lost as you are.”

The doorbell rang just then, and Cid got up, tossing his napkin into his bowl. “That oughta be Reeve.”

Vincent nodded. “Go ahead. I’ll join you once I’ve cleaned up, in here.”

“I’ll do it,” Nero said, at which both men turned and stared at him. He scowled. “What? I’m not an idiot, I can figure out how to deal with a few dishes.”

“Well…alright,” Vincent said tentatively. “Thank you, Nero.”

Still looking understandably dubious, the two men exited the dining room. 

Rather than get up to begin clearing the table, Nero remained sitting exactly as he was. Instead, several dozens of darkness tendrils snaked out of his skin markings, waving and wriggling, like the fronds on nightmare anemones. 

At a thought from him, they descended upon the table in a writhing swarm, and sucked up every item: plates, bowls, coffee cups, half-full glasses of juice, even the napkins and silverware. 

Having enveloped everything, the tendrils darted off to the kitchen, with lumps of various shapes visible in their ‘throats’, as if they were pythons that had swallowed prey. Only the prey was shaped like forks and mugs and bowls, and the like. 

The leftover food and other refuse never reappeared, but the flatware and dishware were all spit back out, into their proper places in the cupboards and drawers; every single item sparkling clean, as if they’d all been scoured and polished (which they had been, by the ravenous darkness of the all-consuming void).

The entire process took about sixty seconds, and that was only because the tentacles didn’t know where everything went, and had to figure it out by trial and error. Meanwhile, a few of the larger ones slithered all over the table, leaving it immaculate, as well, while Nero sat perfectly still, apparently in deep concentration.

His mind was not on the mundane task, however, which the tentacles were perfectly able to complete without his attention, but on his father. Despite his taunting Sephiroth with it, he was still reeling inwardly, from the flying lesson in the rain, with Chaos, the other day. And even more so from having awakened, the next morning, to find he’d been sleeping in his father’s arms. 

His knee-jerk reaction was anger, with himself, to have been so weak and vulnerable, in front of the man. But he couldn’t deny that he was moving closer to his goal. The red-cloaked bastard was even beginning to trust him, a little. His reaction when Nero upset Sephiroth, just now, was proof enough that he at least wasn’t considering him guilty till proven innocent.

Though, to be fair, Vincent never treated Nero that way. From the moment he set foot in this house, he was pretty much unsupervised. They’d even let him go out to a grocery store full of civilians. Since he was finished cleaning up, he sent a few thread-thin tendrils slinking into the living room, to listen in.

“Good to see ya, Reeve,” Cid’s voice was saying.

“Thank you for coming,” Vincent’s added. 

“Anything for you two,” replied a pleasant, mature, male voice. “Sorry it took me a couple of days to get here. I was in Midgar, with Rufus, putting together a redevelopment plan for the city’s infrastructure. It’s going to be a hell of a lot of work.”

Cid sounded dubious. “Why do you look so happy about it?”

“Well…I love my job. I mean, my real job as an engineer, now that i don’t have to be Shinra’s single voice of sanity. Rebuilding is going to keep a lot of people employed, for many years, and the result will be a safer, cleaner place for everyone to live. What’s not to be happy about?”

“You’re a weird dude, Reeve,” Cid observed. 

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” Reeve laughed.

“Nothing wrong with being weird,” Vincent’s low-toned voice put in. “Nero, if you’re going to eavesdrop, anyway, you may as well come in here and meet our guest.”

Shit. Busted. 

Having no choice, now, Nero retracted his spy tentacles and went gloomily to the living room. The visitor looked pretty much exactly like he’d sounded. A tall, forty-something man, with greying, dark-brown hair and a neatly kept beard. A little older than his picture in the Shinra company directory, but good looking, overall.

“You must be Nero,” he said. “I’m Reeve Tu—”

“I know who you are, Director Tuesti,” Nero cut him off icily. “What’s a Shinra dog doing in my father’s house?”

“Sorry, Reeve,” Vincent interposed. “Nero wasn’t aware that you’re a friend. Nero, Reeve is with the WRO now, not Shinra. And even when he was, he worked with us and helped us.”

“Reeve, hey,” Cloud’s voice said, from the hallway arch, as he came in, carrying Ollie. “Been a while.”

“Oh, Cloud, it’s good to see you,” Reeve answered cheerfully, then his expression changed and he went white as a sheet, stumbling backward. “S—Sephiroth! Sephiroth’s right behind you!”

“It’s alright,” Vincent said, materializing beside him, to steady him on his feet. “He’s not here to make trouble.”

“You’re…serious,” Reeve faltered, looking around at the perfectly calm group. “What exactly is going on? How is he here?”

“Uh. This is going to take some explaining,” Cloud said. “You may want to sit down.”

Nero was pretty curious as to how Sephiroth was here, too. From what he could tell, the man wasn’t really alive. He was full of the planet’s pure life force, though, which made no sense at all. Dead things can’t interact with the Planet's energy.

Thus, he listened attentively, while in a clear, concise, and perfectly calm manner, Sephiroth related the entire story to Reeve, in broad strokes:

Jenova’s control over him, his madness and death, his becoming conscious in the lifestream, with no memory left but for those Jenova hadn’t torn away, which were all of hatred and pain. His eventual overpowering of her will. His confrontation with Cloud in the ruins of Shinra Tower, using the life force of the remnants, to manifest himself. 

Then his fight for his very existence, when Chaos and Omega awakened, and how, after they returned to the Planet, he was forcibly rejected from the lifestream. How Cloud found him, how they reached an accord of forgiveness, and how the dormant seed of love, buried deep in both their hearts, sprouted again. 

“It’s a new seed,” Cloud interjected. 

“What?” Reeve asked, bewildered.

“Seph claims the seed was already there, for him, but it wasn’t, for me. It’s a new seed.”

“So you say, now,” Sephiroth returned. “I happen to know that you were already in love with me, when we first met.”

“Yeah, the idea of you. Not the very real asshole you turned out to be.”

Sephiroth tossed his head. “I was not an asshole. Not until the incident.”

“Either way, the main point is that Sephiroth is sane, now,” Cloud said to Reeve. “Oh, shit, I forgot to explain why he’s here, specifically. He’s Vincent’s son.”

Reeve nearly fell over again, despite being seated on the sofa. “He—he’s what?”

“Sephiroth is my biological son,” Vincent confirmed, from where he was leaning against the wall, with his arms crossed. 

Reeve passed a hand over his brow. “So, you have three children? Two of whom are augmented former Shinra personnel?”

“That we know of. Hojo used my DNA to conceive Sephiroth before I died, and Nero afterward. There’s no telling how many others he made.”

“Sephiroth wasn’t conceived…you know. The traditional way?”  

Vincent didn’t answer. 

“Uh. Sorry,” Reeve said sheepishly. “That was a weird question.”

“Speakin’ of weird, why’d ya bring the cat-bot?” Cid piped up.

“She has the database you wanted.”

Cid squinted at the perpetually cheerful-looking feline robot. “Uh…she?”

“Why don’t we go out to Cid’s workshop, to talk about this,” Vincent cut in. “I’m sure the boys are tired of listening to us old men.”

This was an obvious excuse, since it had been Sephiroth doing most of the talking, but it was good enough. Carrying the cat-bot on his shoulder, Reeve followed the pair out the back door.

“So, you are some kind of ghost,” Nero said to Sephiroth, when they were gone. “That explains a lot of things.”

“I am not a ghost,” Sephiroth replied tranquilly. “My original body was destroyed, but I never died. This body is just as real. It’s made of physical matter and sustained by my will, as well as the Planet’s life force. Technically, I am more alive than you are.”

“Unless your connection is severed,” Nero said, narrowing his eyes shrewdly. “Right?”

“Nero, don’t,” Cloud warned.

“But I wonder, is it enough to be remembered? Or must you also be loved?”

Sephiroth’s eyes flashed. “What are you implying?”

“You say your body is sustained by your will, but is that true? Is it not actually…his will?” Nero turned his scarlet eyes on Cloud. 

“Mama,” Ollie put in helpfully. 

“All the pain he caused,” Nero went on. “All the destruction and suffering and death, and still, you didn’t let go. No matter what atrocities he committed, you couldn’t make yourself let go of him. Could you.”

Sephiroth opened his mouth to say something, but Cloud interrupted. “No. I couldn’t.”

Nero’s catlike pupils dilated imperceptibly. “And you don’t regret it, do you. Even knowing that you holding onto him, acting as his tether to existence, cost thousands of human lives.”

Cloud’s blue eyes were glistening, but he set his jaw defiantly. “No. I don’t regret it. Not for a goddamn minute.”

“I think…I'm beginning to understand you, Cloud Strife. We are both people whose love outweighs every other consideration, including so-called righteousness and morality.”

“Love makes its own law. Isn't that what you believe?”

“It is. I'm glad to know that you believe it, too. For my brother's sake.”

Nero turned to go upstairs, but at that moment, he felt something he hadn’t, in a long time. It was a tug! Through the darkness! It was extremely faint, almost undetectable, but it was a tug! That was the way Weiss used to connect to him, he’d never mistake it! 

He stopped where he was, breathless, quivering with anticipation, every nerve fiber on high alert, waiting to feel it again. Unfortunately, Ollie had begun jabbering loudly in Cloud’s arms, and it was quickly evolving into a fussy noise, which was frustratingly distracting. Nero needed to go to his room, where he had at least marginal privacy. 

He stepped onto the bottom stair, but as he did, he felt the tug again, and froze in place. This time he caught hold of it, and connected to the darkness. The world around him dissolved into inky blackness.

“Weiss! Weiss!” he shouted, into the formless void. “Brother, where are you! I felt your pull and I came! Brother! Weiss!!”

As he was calling out for his brother, he felt a tickling sensation and looked down. There, at his ethereal feet, grabbing at his shin with its forelegs, was a black spider, the size of a housecat.

Its legs were rather stubby, its carapace was covered with thick, plushy, black fuzz, and its eight crimson eyes were too large, in proportion to its head. The result was that it looked weirdly adorable, despite being an abyssal abomination. 

Nero curled his lip in disgust, shaking the thing off his spirit projection’s leg. “What the fuck are you? Why are you here?”

The big, glowing eyes blinked stupidly up at him, but he felt a wave of exuberantly friendly intent, coming from it, as it reached up and began to prod him with its palps, again. It must be a juvenile, and unable to communicate in more complex terms. That would explain its inane cuteness.

“But how did something so small and stupid escape from Chaos, and get into my void?” he asked, rhetorically. 

The thing kept batting his shin and shooting waves of idiotic enthusiasm at him. 

“I’m looking for my brother. You haven’t seen him, have you?”

When he said the word ‘brother’, he felt a strong pulse of affectionate intent, from the thing, and its forelegs smacked him even more excitedly. 

For half a second, he almost thought the creature might be Weiss, but dismissed that idea, immediately. Weiss wasn’t a spider, on the other side, and this thing was made of darkness, like him. It was probably just some random anomaly, generated by Chaos.

“Why don’t you go away?” he said irritably. “I’m here to look for Weiss, I don’t need any annoyances tagging along.”

The thing stopped jabbing at him, pushed itself up on its hind legs, then toppled theatrically onto its back, where it proceeded to flail its legs about, exuding unbearable woe, as if nine generations of its ancestors had been wronged. 

“Fine, whatever. You can hang around with me, just don’t make any noise,” Nero said, as his body warped and expanded, swiftly becoming the massive, nightmare spider of the void. “And don’t annoy me, or I’ll toss you out of here.”

The little spider vibrated with joy as it skittered up one of his enormous legs, and positioned itself happily on top of his head. It was physically impossible, of course, for a thing the size of a cat to traverse his planet sized body, but this was the void, and they were conceptual beings. When he grew, the little spider grew, in direct proportion, so it still seemed the same size, relative to him.

For time untold, the colossal spider traversed the endless darkness, with the little spider perched atop his head, searching desperately for any trace of Weiss. But no matter how he called out to him, there was no answer. No sign of his light, to be found. 

Sensing his deep dejection, the little spider (who he’d entirely forgotten about, till that moment) wiggled its legs and radiated comfort, like a miniature hot-water bottle. Or an impossibly titanic hot-water bottle, depending on one’s perspective.

“Maybe he’s not strong enough, to keep up the connection, and had to drop it right away,” Nero sighed, as he shrank back down to his humanoid form. “All I can do is wait, and hope he’ll reach out again soon.”

The cat-sized spider on top of his head patted his face sympathetically, with two fuzzy, clawed forelegs. He pulled the thing off and set it on the (purely metaphorical) ground. 

“I’m going, now. I don’t know how you got in, but don’t wander around this place, alone. You could get lost.”

The thing bucked up and waved its pedipalps, sending an impression that it understood. With a nod, Nero winked out of the void.

In the material world, he was still standing with one foot on the bottom stair, and no more than a few seconds had passed. Ollie was yowling and Cloud was trying to soothe her, while Sephiroth hurried away to warm a bottle. 

“It’s ok, Ollie, gege will come back in minute,” Cloud reasoned.

“Ah-guh,” she wailed piteously. “Ah-guh guh guh!”

“I think she wants you,” Cloud said to Nero, who looked back with a sneer. 

“How can you tell any of that drool-machine’s noises apart? Half the blabbering she does sounds like that.”

“Guh! Guh! Ahhh-guhhh!” Ollie howled, even louder, stretching her little hands toward him and struggling in Cloud’s arms. 

Nero almost laughed at the stupidness of her stubby arms and legs flailing about, but then he was struck dead-on by a sensation like stepping off a short stair, and finding it’s a cliff. 

“Oh, fuck. Chaos is going to fucking kill me.”

Cloud didn’t hear him, over Ollie’s howling. “What?” 

“I said…I’ll h—hold her,” Nero managed to make himself pronounce aloud.

“Are you sure?” Cloud asked, doubtfully.

“Yes. Just give her to me,” Nero said, sticking his arms out, and trying not to grimace too obviously.

The squirming bundle was pushed into his arms and Cloud adjusted his grip to the proper position, before he let go. There. He was doing it. He was holding a human infant. There would almost certainly be some horrifying or disgusting consequences, but—

“Hey, it worked,” Cloud said. “She stopped crying.”

“Ah-guh,” Ollie’s suspiciously chipper voice squeaked, close to his ear. 

Nero realized he’d had his eyes shut and opened them. Cloud was grinning smugly, and Sephiroth was standing beside Cloud, with the bottle, thunderstruck.

“What are you doing?”

“Holding my baby sister,” Nero retorted. “What does it look like?”

“But…why?”

“I thought it sounded like she wanted him to,” Cloud explained. “Seems like I was right.”

“Gege, ah-guh, mamamamama,” Ollie babbled, grabbing handfuls of Nero's long, jet-black hair.

Nero very clearly and distinctly felt impressions of Sephiroth, himself, and then Cloud, as she made each of the sounds. “So, you really are calling him mama. Huh.”

“Ah-ah-ah guh-guh-guh,” she said, and blithely stuffed a chubby fistful of his hair into her mouth. 

“Cut it out, gremlin!” Nero protested. “I don’t want your gross slobber in my hair!”

Ollie looked at him solemnly, then spat out the lock of hair with an explosive ‘pffbbbt!’, spraying drool all over his face.

He stood frozen, blinking in stupefaction, while Cloud nearly went blue stifling his laughter.

“Well, I couldn’t possibly separate you two, now,” Sephiroth said. “You’ve clearly bonded.”

Nero glowered at him, as darkness tendrils snaked out and indignantly cleaned the drool from his face, which made Ollie squeal delightedly. Before anyone could react, she grabbed one and yanked joyously on it.

“No, Ollie, don’t!” Cloud exclaimed, but Sephiroth stopped him. 

“It won’t harm her. She’s a child of Chaos.”

“And I wouldn’t let it, anyway,” Nero scowled. “What do you think of me?”

Cloud squinted. “Uh…do you really want to know?” 

Nero ignored him.

Sure enough, the tentacle appeared to have no ill will toward the infant. It just lay there, wriggling helplessly, as Ollie held onto it with both hands and gnawed on it with her pink gums, like corn on the cob. It looked rather disturbing, but the upside was, no matter how much she drooled all over it, the tendril would just absorb it, so it was far less messy than all her usual chew toys (which included but were not limited to, her actual teething rings, her other toys, her own hands, and people’s clothing and hair, especially Sephiroth’s).

“Well, it looks like Ollie has a new favorite,” Cloud sighed. “I guess I’m just an old shoe, now.” 

“Nonsense,” Sephiroth reassured him. “If you were an old shoe, she’d be chewing on you, right now.”

[jwonsoon]

Enhypen’s reactions to you having period pains

☾ authors note: this was written because I was on my period and extremely delusional. very random and rough - ignore spelling errors. enjoy :D

Jungwon

an absolute sweetie pie

he would gently rub your back and look at you worriedly

“its okay, how can i help?”

he’ll sit with you in the school clinic and look all worried

“do you need medicine? food?”

holding hands while caressing your hand with his thumb 💔

would back hug you when you were standing to do something and walk around with you to make sure you’re okay

Jay

practically is a nurse

he knows when youre on your period so he brings medicine just in case

“take medicine please” “do you want water?”

forehead kisses 😕

huffing and puffing trying to make sure you don’t cry or get too upset - looks at you with a really serious pouty face and pays attention to all your needs

always reassuring u

“its normal, please don’t worry”

Niki

awkies…..

OKAY REALISTICALLY he would be like 🧍🏻 but because he loves you he is SO worried

mouths to you “are you okay?” every two seconds

sneaks his hand towards you so you can hold it and squeeze it if you need to (okay contractions 😜)

distractions! he starts asking random shit to you or playing games with you

which sometimes back fires and annoys you so then he whines and says “sorrryyyy”

walks around with his arm around you the rest of the day because he wants to be close to you so you can ask for help anytime

Jake

hes the man of your dreams

idk why he seems the type to be more private abt his relationships so i feel like he’d take you to a quiet place like the library and sit with you

takes your hands and kisses them 💔

“just tell me what you need, okay?”

waits for you with all your stuff outside the bathroom 😭

your backpack on one arm with your notes books tucked under his arms and waterbottle in hand

compliments you because he knows you feel awkward and too aware of your body

Heeseung

hes so affectionate i can just sense it

hugs!!!!!

while quietly whispering “im here, its okay”

gives you his hoodie!!!!!!

very openly talks with you about it, hes never awkward or anything

showers you with warmth and comfort

you’re practically living in his arms when you’re having period pains

Sunoo

would be pouting all over the place because he isn’t sure what to do

buys you all the food you want, showers you with candies.

arm around you he would pull you closer and say “how are you feeling?” every few minutes to check in

he would keep looking at u across the room if u were away from him and blowing kisses LOL

running around doing stuff for you. need food? he got it. need meds? he got it. need to get something else? HES GOT IT

gets upset when you don’t let him do things for you because he wants you to rest

Sunghoon

hes unsure of what to do but SO WORRIED

“w-what happened?”

when you look at him w tears in your eyes he immediately starts going “why why why???”

when you tell him he says kinda cliche things like “its okay, drink water”

BUT then goes and searches it up and sees whats going to help

chocolates and advil are his best friends 🩷 he’ll give them to you and keep a close eye on you

offers to do your work for you because he doesn’t want you to be stressed out :(

[blossom-hwa]

a detailed analysis of rizz levels across pretty much every group I stan 

chip ( @wingkkun​​ ) and I had a very interesting conversation about this a couple months ago. here are the results, complete with direct citations and paraphrasing from our instagram dms. I do not take constructive criticism but I will entertain debates in my inbox. think of it as a scientific peer review

table of contents (in order): txt | seventeen | stray kids | ateez | the boyz | honorary mentions (golcha, nct, p1h, beomhan)

(disclaimer: all of this is meant in good fun and is not meant to be rude or harmful to any member I talk about. I love every one of them and in the end this is all just a joke!)

TXT.

soobin: below the charts. this man has negative infinity rizz. less rizz than me and that’s saying something bc I only ever flirt on accident if I tried to do it on purpose the world would explode. the limit of his rizz as you approach any point is negative infinity and I do not feel sorry for saying this. in the wise words of chip, “we like you bc ur ultimate cringefail (affectionate)”

taehyun: net positive rizz. I'm definitely biased but also do not argue with me I will bite your face off. the amount of rizz he has is a true problem and I am not immune to it (neither are you). he’s so cute and he’s also so hot and smart and I'm never going to shut up if I keep going so I'll stop. positive rizz. off the charts. do not @ me.

beomgyu: please refer to hoshi’s bit below. they are one and the same. beomgyu had too much rizz it was eating him alive so his body compressed and converted it (lossless compression) to another form and now he’s a chaos monster who screams for a living and oozes what remains of his original rizz onstage. we love him for it

hyuka: +10 rizz because he’s cute. no more than that because he’s an overgrown baby (affectionate). he gives me a lot of brain damage but it’s just because of his plushies and his little brother energy so I feel like he could manipulate me with his rizz but it would only go so far before I either pat his head bc he’s so cute or I punch him in the face bc of the annoying sibling energy therefore he only gets ten points

yeonjun: after going through the entirety of our conversation I realize now that chip and I forgot to diagnose the rizz levels of the fourth gen it boy so now I'm pulling some shit out of my ass. net positive but low magnitude. I give him +3. mostly because he’s got insane stage presence and has the ability to kick beomgyu in the face but he’s soooooo pathetic. possibly reading skye’s ( @warmau​​ ) thoughts about him have influenced me but he’s pathetic hence the very very low magnitude of rizz. I am not sorry

SEVENTEEN.

mingyu: rizzless. I direct you to this post I made because it’s factual and explains his horrifically low levels of rizz. do not be fooled by this man’s muscles he’s constantly screaming crying throwing up to be told he’s sexy but the second someone does tell him that he’s a blushing anime girl (affectionate) and we love him for it but he’s rizzless. negative off the charts

jun: rizzless but not in the same manner as mingyu he just does not know what rizz is. very similar to juyeon in this manner. the8 or dino have definitely tried to explain rizz to him before but he simply does not understand and does not care to. even if he did understand it I'm still not certain he’d care which gives him a lower magnitude rizz than mingyu which is better even if it’s still negative

the8: positive rizz with quite a high magnitude. I can’t quantify it but it doesn’t even matter because even though he has rizz he doesn’t use it. he’d rather tell us to stop having a parasocial relationship with people behind our little computer screens and ooze rizz via charisma on stage instead and I can respect that.

seungkwan: so much rizz. so much fucking rizz have you ever seen this man complimenting female idols on shows. have you ever seen this man tell idols they’re pretty and wonderful and beautiful in every which way without batting a damn eye and with so much earnestness I blush. cannot believe chip ever thought this man as on the same level of rizzlessness as soob smh

vernon: 0 rizz, but this does not mean he is rizzless. rizz is a spectrum and having 0 levels of it just means you are rizz neutral. purely neutral. no one has purely neutral rizz the way vernon does he’s simply so special. that one gose episode where he showed up in that rainbow hoodie with red glasses? that’s the epitome of rizz neutrality

s.coups: refer to daeyeol’s bit below. handsome. reliable. have you seen him with kkuma. I melt every time. unfortunately he is still horrifically pathetic and though we adore him for it this does unfortunately decrease his rizz levels drastically. without it he’d probably be somewhere at positive infinity but now he’s at like +8. the world knew that if coups wasn’t pathetic enough he’d be too powerful so they had to humble him.

hoshi: he doesn’t have rizz but it’s not like the nerds where their rizz levels are just buried in the negatives it’s more like the magnitude of his rizz was so high that it has since been compressed and turned into something else. so he has no rizz but it’s not because he was born pathetic, it’s because it was converted due to the law of conservation of rizz (real)

wonwoo: similar to taehyun in that they’re both very positive but slightly different. yes they are both gym rats yes they are both token introverts (sort of) but wonwoo is a gamer. their rizz is fundamentally different but they’ve evolved to be similar due to their personalities kinda like wings on bats and birds. as you can tell it’s been a while since I took biology

jeonghan: similar to lino in that he has rizz but he stole it. the difference between them is that lino has some natural organic rizz while jeonghan was born with none and stole all that he owns now. without this stolen rizz he would be a limp noodle dragging himself across the earth but now he’s a fairy. life isn’t fair

dino: negative but low magnitude. the first number I gave him was -14 I don’t really know why it was -14 specifically but the point is it’s supposed to be low magnitude. recently he began climbing my bias list and chip yesterday convinced me to change his magnitude to to something lower so I now give him -4. I am easily swayed

joshua: positive rizz in the same manner as jangjun et al. the man is fucking insane. insane charisma but also just plain insane. I'm not entirely convinced he didn’t steal some of it but while jeonghan freely admits that he stole it joshua keeps evading the question. there is a venn diagram of jangjun et al and lino et al and joshua is in the intersection

woozi: I considered an intersection between chanhee and the8 and I think woozi falls into it. perhaps I've just been gaslit into thinking he has positive rizz but let’s just roll with the thought. has some rizz like the8 (less than the8 though) but does not care to use it (like chanhee) and also doesn’t really care that it’s there. he just kinda lets it be

dk: net negative but low magnitude. I originally gave him -13 to bc I thought he was a step above dino but not by much. I still kind of think this way so I'm elevating him to -3 since dino got elevated to -4. sorry dino I think you’ll always be one step behind no matter how big of a crush I have on you

STRAY KIDS. 

lino: has rizz but in the wrong way. the man touches butts for a living AND he has cats he’s got to have some rizz hence the net positive but he also definitely stole some. please refer to my comments on this post for details he definitely does not organically have all this rizz but he’s stolen it and now it’s his you can’t ask for it back

chan: also has rizz but in the wrong way but also differently from lino. chan should not have as much rizz as he does but he’s got that “libra sun scorpio venus rizz” (chip) which makes him extremely dangerous. he’s a loser and for that I'd give him negative rizz but unfortunately he has an aura that separates him from the likes of mingyu (it’s the dilf dad energy) so he has net positive rizz of a dangerous magnitude.

jisung: we welcome another member to the ranks of the negative infinity rizz. do I even need to explain. does the anime girl babygirl pathetic cute energy not already do enough explanation for you. I should not have to spell out the fact that this man is rizzless at every point on the mathematic plane. I love him to death but that will not save him from the rizzless fate

seungmin: please refer to jangjun in the honorary mentions below. his rizz applies here. positive rizz. high magnitude. ridiculous for a man of his caliber but here we are. he’s got some weird mutant rizz and that’s all I can really say like.....what do you become when you have rizz levels +69,420. what do you fucking do. 

changbin: fluctuates between +10 and -10 like a sine curve (please refer to mingi’s bit for more information). his positive rizz is similar energy to yunho but louder and his negative rizz is just pathetic baby boy-ness. I adore him. big muscle men who are soft. I don’t have a section for wonho but if I did they’d be of very similar types. 

hyunjin: negative rizz. he’s an only child what else do I need to say. ferret energy. flails around. long limbs that he doesn’t know what to do with. so much baby girl energy I always want to laugh at him (affectionate). lovely boy so very lovely with such fucking negative rizz

felix: like jangjun and co his rizz got converted but unlike jangjun and co it was not converted to insanity. it was converted to something...... alien. idk how to explain it. asymptotic rizz, according to chip. weird behavior as x approaches infinity. I agree with this assessment. nothing earthly explains how this man is so ethereal so I have concluded that alien magic converted his rizz to ethereality

jeongin: ok so I did say vernon is the only one who’s truly reached rizz neutral but jeongin is pretty close. similar vibes. they’re both slightly insane of course but they are also more than likely to just stand there and vibe. this gives off rizz neutrality. jeongin is less neutral (probably tipped in the negative direction) but he’s getting there. 

ATEEZ.

seonghwa: rizzless this man is the nerdiest nerd ever he is RIZZLESS. magnitude infinity in the negative region of the graph. he and soobin are two sides of the same coin the latter is a lanky little gamer dude and the former is a Star Wars nerd with a display case for his figurines. the absolute most negative rizz ever (affectionate)

yunho: oooooooo my god. positive rizz if I've ever seen one. so much rizz. so much fucking rizz. the magnitude of his rizz is off the charts and unlike the other insane ones his rizz didn’t get converted so he is DANGEROUS. if you ever meet this man in the wild run in the other direction you will not survive his pull. in the wise words of chip “yunho has |rizz| (absolute positive rizz)”

mingi: his rizz...fluctuates. like a sine curve idk. he alternates between having so much rizz it hurts and so little rizz it’s laughable. yes I have definitely been influenced by having seen him in concert twice (do NOT bring up the fact that he became a wrecker after the second). he knows he’s hot and will use that to the best of his ability but he’s also kind of pathetic and for some reason it doesn’t balance out so he fluctuates

jongho: has rizz. does not care to use it. falls in the same camp of the the8-ers (refer to the seventeen section) in which he prefers to simply ooze rizz onstage and kill everyone’s heart there instead of flirting with fans. respectable. also incredibly dangerous. everyone wants to hug him but if you try to his rizz will snap you in half but if not huggable then why hug shape?

hongjoong: net positive rizz but he’s convinced he has more than he does so I dock several points due to excessive confidence. panics too much when wooyoung tries to kiss him for me to restore them. if he gay panicked a little less then I might consider him having as much rizz as he says he does but alas he does not and so I will not. 

san: -10 rizz. negative but not too negative. he’s really cute and really hot but also really pathetic and I say this with the greatest fondness imaginable. remember that one poll where tiny voted him as the person they’d least like to vacation w bc he’d stay inside (don’t worry me too san)? same vibes. his patheticness outweighs his hotness and while they’re close, ultimately patheticness wins out. sorry not sorry

yeosang: net positive rizz but he does not use it. this is not by choice. he just doesn’t know how to. in fact I'm not fully convinced he knows what rizz is. in this manner he is somewhat similar to juyeon (refer to the boyz section below) except where juyeon’s rizz is negative infinity yeosang has some positive levels. in chip’s words get well soon yeo

wooyoung: falls in the same camp as hyunjae in that he has fully negative rizz and embraces this fact to use it as a weapon. dangerous man. fully insane. if his rizz was positive he’d be the same as jangjun and co but unfortunately he’s pathetic for hongjoong so his rizz is negative and is not handled the same way. 

THE BOYZ.

hyunjae: all of Bermuda line is rizzless to the max but in different ways. in hyunjae’s case he knows he is rizzless and fully accepts and utilizes this to his benefit. you’re telling me this man doesn’t know how pathetic (fond) he is? he’s self aware and will absolutely use this against you. as dangerous as those with high positive levels of rizz. watch the fuck out

younghoon: fully rizzless bc he’s in Bermuda line but is not self aware. in fact he protests that he does have positive rizz but look at this man. he has the energy of a dying victorian child trying to make it past this cold, cold winter. all you want to do is pat his head and coo at him to make him feel better he has no rizz. absolute negatives. 

juyeon: again, completely and negatively rizzless since he’s in Bermuda line but like younghoon he is fully unaware. in a different way though. why you ask? because this man definitely has no idea what rizz is. look at his sweet little eyes and tell me he knows. that’s right. you can’t. 

q: negative rizz. not as low as Bermuda line/seonghwa/soobin/etc. but still quite negative. the thing is no one ever tells him this or brings it up to his face because he’s dangerous. he may not know what rizz is but he does know what an insult is and if you say a word about his purported negative rizz levels you will not be heard from again. this is a warning. 

sangyeon: has net positive rizz. it isn’t super high but given the fact that I've just said four of his members have some of the lowest rizz levels imaginable it’s relatively high in the realm of tbz. can’t really explain it but he gets this rizz from his hot tired uncle energy that no one is immune to. have you seen him with his nephews? don’t argue with me. 

(at this point chip told me to stop making rizz comments bc their stomach hurt. I did not stop)

kevin: rizz levels -1. not quite negative infinity. in fact pretty far from it. still negative though and he’ll never recover from that. I'd say that I'm sorry but I'm really not no matter how much this man works out I will never be able to stop laughing at him to his face (in best friend fashion). love you kev

new: negative. not horrifically so like Bermuda line but still more negative than kev. you may be thinking what the fuck lina new has so much rizz wdym? you’re wrong. he doesn’t have rizz and he doesn’t care. his lack of care gives the illusion that he actually has positive rizz but he does not. do not be fooled

haknyeon: POSITIVE RIZZ. do not question the positive rizz of tangerine boy ju haknyeon. it may not be positive infinity but I do say he’s around +50ish and given the patheticness that surrounds him that’s pretty fucking good I’d say. so much rizz. so much true rizz. I love him

sunwoo: the most negative fucking rizz ever except he’s convinced it’s positive.  see without this unfounded conviction his rizz would just be somewhere around -50 and he’d be fine because Bermuda line exists but nooooo he decided to ruin it by being overly confident in his rizz powers so now he’s at negative infinity and one. sucks to suck.

jacob: (chip came up with this one) he has beomgyu and jangjun levels of rizz so like rizz off the charts but while a lot of it was converted into weirdness some of it stayed rizz so. hm. a tamer version of jangjun if you will. however beware because his rizz is once again increasing since he stopped playing league. watch out.

eric: negative rizz. same boat as sunwoo. their rizz magnitudes are the exact same and in the same direction (negative obviously) but it’s in a slightly different manner. both have unfounded confidence in their imaginary positive rizz levels but eric’s is in the manner of a teacher’s pet who thinks they’re popular while sunwoo is just plain mad

HONORARY MENTIONS.

jangjun (golden child): positive rizz and it’s terrible. I can’t tell you what the number is (it’s +69,420) but it’s really fucking high and I hate it. most of his rizz has been compressed and converted like hoshi’s to something resembling insanity but unlike hoshi there is a dangerous amount left. beware this man

daeyeol (golden child): +5 rizz. he’s handsome and reliable and if we got married I would be able to trust him to get things done. similar to sangyeon in that he’s got hot tired uncle energy but he’s also pathetic so he only gets five rizz points

mark (nct): negative rizz if I've ever seen one, but missing the negative infinity rizz by one point. I just need him differentiated from soobin and jisung and the other pathetic ones. mark is pathetic but I give him one point out of pity

beomhan (??): I don’t know anything about this guy except that he can’t cook and has high cholesterol problems from eating too many eggs but he’s in the same group as jangjun and co

keeho (p1h): I also don’t know anything about this guy except what chip has told me but I think he’s similar to chanhee and chip thinks he’s on sunwoo’s level. do with this information what you will

[bunnyanqel]

You're So Pretty (It Hurts) (1)

[1] [2] [3]

Summary: When the hot girl from the bar invites Eddie back to hers, he seizes the chance to lose his virginity. But his nerves grab a hold, and before he can think twice, he explains his predicament. He expects laughter and a door in the face. He expects pity and discomfort. But he especially doesn't expect her to be on board with the whole ‘deflowering’ thing, even eager to be his first. He'll be damned if he looks a gift horse—or, in this case, a very hot willing girl—in the mouth. And he sure as shit isn't going to waste this chance.

Content: NSFW, 18+, MDNI, soft sex, safe sex, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, gentle kissing, soft eddie, submissive eddie, touch-starved eddie, eddie munson has a big dick, ambigious/open ending

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ。 also on AO3 ! 　ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

Eddie had a lot of secrets but they were largely just embarrassing, like his affinity for hair-braiding, or his variety of sweet-perfumed body care products. Sometimes a guy just wanted to smell like a strawberry poundcake, okay?

But the biggest one by far—the one he never brought up, never hinted at—was that he was a virgin.

At first, it hadn’t been a big deal, hadn’t been a hardship. At first, it hadn’t been something he’d wanted; he was young and handsome and it would happen…some day. But then he started getting older, and he still hadn’t found anyone, and everywhere he looked, his friends had found somebody. Jeff and Samantha, Gareth and Parker. Hell, even fucking Wheeler, the most annoying shithead Eddie had ever known, had a girlfriend.

He’d ignored it for the most part, ignored the jokes and well-meaning comments about setting him with this friend and that friend, ignored the pang of loneliness that bloomed hot behind his ribcage at the small kisses and hand-holding.

Until he couldn’t.

Until he wasn’t satisfied being the odd one out, the permanently single, undateable friend that never seemed to settle down. Until he found himself desperate for the human connection he’d brushed away in high school, hungry for the kisses and small gestures that his friends indulged in happily, hungry for much, much more than that. Starved for it.

Which was how he found himself in Brittany Ronan’s bedroom, a little buzzed and more than hopeful to finally lose his virginity. But the question was if he should tell her, if he should let her know it might be shit because he’d never done it before.

His belly muscles cramped with nerves as he hovered anxiously in her doorway, scanning her bedroom, taking in the brown gingham bedspread and the plush carpet that her bare feet sank into. Procrastinating, because who really wanted to tell the hot girl who’d brought them back to her place that, oh yeah, they were a virgin?

Just the prospect made his throat close up, even as he shuffled into her bedroom slowly, cautiously.

“Are you okay, Eddie?”

Her accented voice broke his thoughts, his eyes picking out her silhouette in the dim room, backlit by a small desk lamp. And even though he couldn’t see her clearly, he knew her gaze was on him, soft, warm, affectionate.

“I…” His voice broke on the words, and he was unable to go on, to explain his hesitation.

“Are you uncomfortable?” she pressed, her voice just as soft as before, concerned. Then she approached, the whisper of her clothes the only sound between them until she stood close enough to touch. The lack of space made it easier to see her face, read her expression. There was nothing but concern, maybe a little confusion, in her expressive, big brown eyes.

“I-I’m okay, uh, I think. It’s just—” The words cracked through an octave, his voice pitched high with anxiety, and he swallowed hard. His throat was tight with a crowding of emotions, the most prominent uncertainty. Of how she’d take the news, of how she’d react, and most importantly how he’d feel once it was out in the open.

“It’s okay.”

A pause and then her hesitant fingertips glanced off his chest, right where his heart was located, and then settled flush.

“Do you need a minute?”

Damn it, he wasn’t sure what he’d expected in the face of his discomfort but it certainly hadn’t been…this. Her kindness, her her patience, her constantly giving him an out if he wanted it.

Any moisture in his mouth dried as he stood there, heart hammering, the pulse of it pounding through his entire body, his fingertips, his wrists, his throat. The words choked him, clogged his throat like a hunk of meat suffocating him.

“It’s fine if you do, Eddie. Would you like something to drink?”

He inhaled at the question, the air he sucked down perfumed with her scent. A mix of clean and something faintly fragrant, faintly sweet. It was better than some of the unpleasant smells he’d encountered in his life, acrid smoke from burnt dinners or the pungent aroma of marijuana.

“Uh-huh,” he croaked, his voice strangled and a rasp, focusing on the feel of her hand on his chest. Its warmth, its solidness. He wet his lips, feeling more than seeing how her eyes tracked the path.

“Okay. You want water? Milk? Tea? I’ve got—” A pause, her hips twitching back and forth. “That’s all I’ve got.” An embarrassed smile curled her lips up, crinkling the corners of her eyes as they snapped back to his.

“I—um, yeah. A drink—a drink would be—it’d be great.” He cleared his throat roughly. “Really great, actually.” By some miracle, he was able to shake off some of the dazedness, shed some of that anxiety that had choked him.

She stared up at him for a minute longer, lamplight highlighting her broad features, softened the keenness of her eyes, and he had the urge to just lean down and kiss her mouth. It looked soft and pliant, inviting, and he knew she wouldn’t reject him. And even with just her hand on him, he wanted her plastered against him, feel every curve of her body, savor the heat and silken texture of her dark skin.

“Water sound good?” she asked finally, backing away, and he clenched his jaw against the overwhelming desire to grab her hand and place it back on him.

At his nod, she darted around him and padded down the hallway leisurely, the stick of her bare feet on the linoleum fading the further she got.

Now alone with himself, the anxiety relaxed its icy tendrils, letting him inhale shakily and venture deeper into Brittany’s bedroom. It was easier to take in now that he wasn’t on the verge of a freak-out, luxuriating in the plush carpet underneath his feet, examining the scattered polaroids she had pinned to her vanity mirror.

Pictures of friends and family flanked her in almost every one, but his favorite was a solitary photograph—her on a pier somewhere, dressed in a one-piece, her curls still wet from swimming. She wasn’t aware the picture was being taken, and her expression was relaxed, her eyes lidded and pensive.

“That was taken the summer I graduated college.”

At the sound of her voice, he straightened, heart racing, caught, and wheeled around, an explanation already rising to his lips that fell away when he caught sight of her face. She didn’t look…angry; in fact, she looked a little amused, eyes crinkled, a penciled eyebrow quirked.

His heart slowed to a slower beat, and the feeling of being caught with his hand in the cookie jar ebbed.

So she didn’t think he was a creep, if her expression was anything to go by.

“I…got curious,” he admitted shyly, tongue darting to wet his dry lips as his heart thumped painfully behind his ribcage. He didn’t miss the way her gaze dropped to his lips, tracking his tongue’s path, before it flicked back to his eyes.

“No worries. It’s not exactly a secret; they’re out in the open.” She pushed off the doorframe, padded damn near silently across the bedroom to him, held up a glass of iced water. “Here you are, kind sir.” An adorable giggle-snort as he took the cold glass, condensation running down his wrist.

While he took sips and let it soothe him, she grasped his hand and led him to bed, flopping down without grace. The bed bounced her, bounced her breasts, and it took all his sheer will power to keep his eyes on her face. On her freckled, broad nose and her thick, inviting lips and the way she peeked at him through her eyelashes like she was coy. Which he knew she wasn’t, not by the way she’d had no qualms dancing and flirting unabashedly with him in the bar. Or inviting him back to hers.

Familiar anxiety started to swell in his belly, prickled along the back of his scalp, as he just stood there, staring at her, wondering if this was…well, it. That was if she didn’t wrinkle her nose at him and laugh him out the door for being a virgin so late in his life.

But he couldn’t see her doing so, not with how gently she’d treated him.

“Something wrong?” she asked, a pucker in her brow, as she stared back at him.

He hesitated for a second before following her lead, albeit slower thanks to his drink, and sank down onto the mattress beside her. It felt like sitting on a cloud, and he almost groaned at the idea of sleeping on it instead of his rickety pull-out. His back would love it.

There wasn’t an ounce of space between them, her warm leg pressed soundly against his, and through the denim of his thrifted jeans, he could feel the heat of her skin. He could only imagine how soft it was based on its gleaming skin, shiny under the dim light, and he couldn’t drag his eyes away for more than a few minutes.

“Eddie,” Brittany said slowly, and his senses pricked at the edge in her voice, “did I—I’m sorry. Did I—” She stopped, licked her lips. “Did I read this wrong? I mean, you. In the bar. Did I—Did I get it wrong?” She stammered over the words like she was scared of them, or maybe the possibility he wasn’t as willing as she’d originally thought, or maybe the idea that she’d misread the entire situation.

“No!” he blurted and winced at his volume. “I mean—”

Turning the glass back and forth in his hands as he stared down at it, he fought to collect his thoughts. To gather his mind enough from the lust and anxiety to string together a sentence. He was usually so good with words, being a D&D nerd and all, but words were failing him now, clogging his throat.

“Because if you’re uncomfortable, if you don’t want this, that’s perfectly fine. We can always pick this up another night.”

God, she was so fucking patient with him like he was a wounded animal. Considerate like she’d known him forever instead of a few hours.

“I haven’t…” The words were a dry rasp, and he swallowed hard. Gazed down at where his hands were curled around the cup, his knuckles white. The bracelet on his left wrist shivered, and he realized that he was trembling, fucking trembling.

“You haven’t what, Eddie?”

“This,” he said softly. “Any of this. This is my—my—”

She was silent, and he examined her calm face, trying to find any signs that she’d heard what he said, comprehended what he didn’t.

He stared at her, at the slope of her bare shoulders, the swell of her breasts, her pulse, trying and failing to find any hint of discomfort, a clue to her thoughts.

“Your anxiety makes sense now,” she said at long last. “I—if you’re uncomfortable…you can leave if you’d like. I’m not going to make you stay against your will.”

“Oh.” He snorted. “It wouldn’t be against my will. At all.”

Her nostrils flared as she flushed, a crimson blush coloring her face beneath her dark-brown complexion, her eyes rounding at his remark.

His heartbeat pounded in his throat.

“Well, if it isn’t against your will, Mr. Rockstar, might I propose a solution? One I want and one you’re free to reject.”

He wouldn’t deny that his interest was piqued. What could she say? Unlike the romance books—bodice rippers—he read from time to time, he had no illusions about how this would go. This was reality, where things didn’t get wrapped up neatly with a bow. And what woman who’d let him into her apartment with the intention of a hookup—

Brittany’s voice dragged him away from his thoughts and thrust him into white-hot shock.

“If you’re agreeable, I’d—I’d like to be your first. If you want, of course.”

[princelylove]

i am slowly getting more and more annoyed with mr zeppeli himself i ate my fingers as i read your response to my ask AJAJHSUSH. thank you so much your highness i am burning my whole house rn.

actually, which yanderes do you think would be the most ANNOYING. like, not violent or anything but just plain annoying. the kind of people that make you wanna tear your hair out or commit a slow and painful murder.

(inspired heavily by narancia because i have a feeling he would be the most annoying little shit to deal with)

-🌸 anon

What an adorable thing you are. Don’t bite too hard, it’ll hinder your ability to compliment me. 

Oh, God. Most annoying to me, personally? Not in any order in particular, I feel as if this one would change depending on my mood:

Bruno hovers too much, and he tends to both infantilize and put a lot of responsibility on his darling. He expects his darling to parent Narancia but won’t let them handle a knife by themself. I’m doing a character study on him right now, so that’s all I’ll say, but just know that he is God’s punishment for whatever you did in a past life to deserve him.

Narancia is annoying- he’s a young guy who never got taught how to deep clean, spends his free time on his pull up bar, expects you to cook for him since he’s literally never been tasked with it, whines when you try to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of your six hours minimum long cuddling session, doesn’t know how to properly take care of an entire human being so just throws junk food at you and hopes you don’t starve, the list goes on. He loves you, he really does, he just doesn’t know what he’s doing. For someone as prissy as myself, I would die the first day. He doesn’t understand why I put those rollers in my hair- he just watched me straighten it, doesn’t that cancel out??? That’s stupid, oh, and another thing, what’s the point of owning five different versions of the same color of nail polish? It’s all red! Just have one, that isn’t crazy expensive! On top of Narancia being the worst roommate ever- he’s very irritable, and doesn’t really have a problem pulling a knife on you to get what he wants. He’s not as quick to snap as people think, but that doesn’t mean he won’t. Show signs of liking something more than him and he’ll maul it. 

It’s hard to set Cioccolata and Secco away from each other, they’re basically inseparable, but Cioccolata is capable of using logic, and Secco is not. If you’re on the ground in pain, obviously you’re going to have a hard time answering the little puppy’s questions. Secco doesn’t understand why you won’t play with him- he’s shoving his toy right in front of you, are you blind?? Play! With! Him! Throw it, play tug of war, SOMETHING, COME ON. There’s an interesting dynamic depending on who exactly you’re intended for- Cioccolata, Secco, or both. Let’s just talk about Secco alone, since Cioccolata isn’t annoying, he’s just a bit too affectionate sometimes. Secco’s forgetful, rude, jumps to conclusions, and you don’t even know what he looks like since he’s always wearing that bitch suit-esque thing. He nudges you to throw his toy- he probably thinks of you as human rather than another dog, and doesn’t understand why you aren’t behaving like Cioccolata does. If you were Cioccolata’s darling alone, or a shared darling, he’d probably think of you as another dog. But he was here first, so he’s got dibs on the good dog bed, AND cioccolata’s lap. As if you’d want that. Secco begs and begs and begs for you to give him as much attention as you possibly can- and somehow, you’re never doing it right. It’s like talking to a child who has surpassed the ‘Why?’ stage and has moved on to greater conquests- annoying you so badly that you ask Cioccolata if it’s fine to have a sip of his ‘not for dogs’ drink. Or two. Or three. Or the entire bottle. 

Rohan doesn’t ever shut the fuck up. He quite literally always has something to say, despite wanting to “observe.” He read an article this morning, let’s go visit the place it mentioned even though it’s a three hour train ride and supposed to rain for the rest of the week. He always wants to go explore- even when he promised that you could both stay home today and do something you want to do. It doesn’t make sense to Rohan- why wouldn’t you want to go see what the world has to offer? Probably because this is the fourth temple he’s wanted to visit this week and you don’t feel like going up two hundred stairs. (If his darling cannot walk, he makes sure it’s accessible beforehand. You’re not getting out of coming with him.) Rohan’s big on healthy living, and he feels a sense of superiority for eating right, and working out very consistently. He wants his darling to be perfectly well as well- how can he push you to your limits if you’re not at your best? You’d probably sleep better if he stopped talking for three hours past his initial ‘goodnight.’ 

Hazamada… is… he’s certainly a character! The literal only reason why he isn’t forcing himself upon his darling is because he’s too much of a coward- and that’s not my interpretation, that’s canon. His hobbies include bullying kittens and small animals, not showering, collecting manga, stalking idols, and tennis! Isn’t that nice, he does sports, he’s only a basement dweller half of the time. It isn’t even somewhat attractive when he tries to get it on with his darling, he’s like a dog humping your leg. He’s the type to call you a stupid bitch because you politely suggested he should wear deodorant before he hits on you. He’s canonically an exhibitionist- imagine sitting in class and looking over to check the clock and he’s just staring back at you while adjusting his pants. I’d switch schools.