#you just conveyed it in such a good way
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@daisybell-on-a-carousel you are so right and correct. perfectly said perfectly conveyed oh my god
The thing is, I actually think it's a super interesting angle to look at the intersection of trauma and mental illness and vigilantism and coping mechanisms with Jason's character.
But, for me, if you want to seriously ask at what point does Jason need therapy more than he needs the vigilante lifestyle it's not Red Hood Jason you should be looking at. Red Hood Jason was literally murdered and the mysteriously resurrected. That's not something you can therapy your way out of! That's something that no amount of talking will ever help you understand, because it's a completely incomprehensible event!
No, if anyone needs therapy it's 12 year old Jason.
It's 12 year old Jason, who has poverty trauma and homelessness trauma and prison system trauma and parentification trauma and drug related trauma and, depending on your reading, potentially sexual trauma.
It's 12 year old Jason, who is taken in by Bruce - a man who is *also* severely traumatised (in extremely different ways) and chooses to dress up as a Bat and punch people about it instead of seeking healthy coping strategies.
It's 12 year old Jason, who Bruce decides - without psychiatric training or so much as a second opinion - needs the same outlet that "helped" Bruce and "helped" Dick.
And by the time aditf rolls around, Bruce is maybe just realising that he's made a mistake. But it's too late, because for two years he's told this child - a child who arguably feels indebted to him, a child who is extremely isolated and had very few if any other trusted adults to talk to - that violence and avoidance is how you deal with emotions.
I think that's fascinating to think about!
That Bruce's own failure to process his trauma left him blind to what Jason might actually have benefited from! That if Bruce had noticed Jason struggling earlier, if he'd reacted differently or explained himself better in aditf, Jason might not have felt the need to travel around the world alone looking for a woman he'd never met and only just learned about!
That if *Bruce* had been healthier, had been to therapy instead of throwing all his energy into vigilantism, none of this might have happened!
Reframe Red Hood Jason as a tragedy of Bruce's own making, not because of the classist bullshit that Jason was always going to end up a criminal and Bruce failed to stop that, but because Bruce's terrible coping mechanisms became *Jason's* terrible coping mechanisms and nobody likes to see the worst parts of themselves in the mirror.
#that is my exact thought process that is EXACTLY it#you just conveyed it in such a good way#i think the best time in jason's life was when he was still training to be robin#he had a home a dad. food shelter school everything else he would need.#and he had SAFETY. because when he was robin he didnt have that.#he had protection sure from batman. but i dont count that when batman is the reason he's in danger in the first place#a safe home is not a home where you regularly purposefully seek out&confront extremely dangerous criminals when you are not even a teen yet#jason was like 12-15 when he came across a fucking rape. and shortly after found the body of the woman after she committed suicide.#THAT IS HORRIFIC#especially when he could just be at home. sleeping. doing homework. but nooo batman decided he must be robin bc uhh#he misses the previous one (whom he threw out). jason would become a criminal if he didn't Save Him. this 'helped' bruce so surely it will#help jason : )#to me being robin&being bruce's son were in jason's mind the same thing. and he was right!#bc the previous robin got firen... and then thrown out. bc bruce gave him robin before even revealing his identity.#bc if jason had rejected being robin he would not have become bruce's son. probably ending up in another unsafe home just like ma gunn's#so when bruce takes robin away from jason? he might as well be disowning him from jason's perspective#so ofc he runs away. and ofc once he finds out he has a living birth mother he'd try to find her.#i have so many thoughts on jason especially jaybin#i need to reread jason's og robin run again#ive only read it once i need a 2nd look at it since i draw so havily from it for my jaybin interpretation
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silly comic based on a time i struggled to read live on stream :thumbsup:
context clip compilation below ASDASDFASA
(cw for brief mention of hospitals/strokes)
#in stars and time#isat#isat odile#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#<- not big ones but the convo this stems from occurs on 3rd floor before king act 2 so#cw hospital#cw stroke#<- brief stroke talk in the clip thats why#odile i am so sorry for making u deal with the fact that i cant read#or just input words?? where there arent any??? i dont know why i do that????#these streams have made me realize i sometimes just autofill words when reading SAFADDA#also random side headcanon i was thinking of while drawing this#is odile speaks alot with her hands?#idk why i just think its fun?#and kinda makes sense as someone who has travelled a lot thru different countries?#personal observation but you can convey/tell a lot without knowing a much of a different language via body language#as someone who grew up with family who spoke a different language that i do not speak LMAO#especially hands!! those say a lot!!#reading body langauge/tone helped me a lot when guessing if what was being talked about a good thing or not#tho tone to a lesser extent since uh it can be hard to tell at times i think ASDFDA#so it makes sense to me???#the art of pointing in general location is a universal skill i think?? yea#to a lesser extent i think siffrin might do this? but more subdued/under the cloak so#the cloak ends up getting in the way 90% of the time so no one can actually see that lmao#okay tag talk over#no stream time today because weather boooooo storms
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me: I'm not a bat
Mr pages: (stuffing novels under its robe): I must abscond
#I have a lot of other bits I've collected but don't want to overwhelm the tag#I really would suggest motr and to play it as like. I like it for giving us a day to day slightly more grounded neath life#I think fallen london is a great setting well conveyed in total but motr is way more fleshed out in a “you're just a guy” way#I also really like the character writing. The gameplay to solve the mysteries is quite obtuse in total but I used a hint guide so it was#I knew what to do bc I would NOT have succeeded otherwise. But experiencing it was still fun#I'm quite torn on how good an intro it is for FL. I think that depends on your genre of choice but as a world introduction...#Idk!! In theory it's probably good. But I'd need to hear from people who went through it as their first to say. It touches on a bit of it a#Mask of the rose spoilers#Fallen london#for virginia and milton teaming up to bully you + mr pages ridiuclous comedy of a life it's worth it to me
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You say you don’t like the killer reveal, why? I actually think dev made some great choices and I’d love to talk to you about your perspective.
i don't want to get too deep into it because, like i mentioned in my previous post, i don't want my criticism to come off as negativity towards the series or discourage anyone involved in the production of the show because it's honestly not a huge deal. like, it in no way ruins the show or makes it less enjoyable for me. and i don't think the choice of who the culprit is is a bad one at all, i'm mostly unsatisfied with the way the chapter handles it.
[spoilers beneath the cut, obvi lol. and please remember this is just my opinion. me having and expressing my opinion is not hate towards the series. i'm nervous enough as it is posting just this and not a bigger essay on all my thoughts because i really don't want to have this be misconstrued, nor do i want any criticism i have to give, regardless of how innocent and respectful my intentions, to make drdtdev or anyone who works on the series feel bad.]
i think Ace being the killer DOES make sense. i have no qualms with him being the blackened, in theory. do i think he could've made for a great survivor, or have really interesting growth throughout the coming chapters? yeah! i would have loved for Ace to be kept around for much longer. but him being the killer this chapter isn’t inherently bad. it's now clear that there's a specific direction Ace's character was meant to go in this story and i think that's fine.
my problem is with what *didn't* happen with Ace's character up to this point.
the chapter hasn't concluded yet so there's still a chance for my thoughts to change, though i don't think it'll make much of a difference. but i'm still waiting to see if it can stick the landing. and even if it doesn't, that's okay. i've already accepted it, i'm just still disappointed by it all the same.
Ace, honestly, hasn't played much of an active role in the story. he's been a source of conflict and comedic relief, and that's okay, not every character has to be as important as Xander or David...but he hasn't really gotten to *do* anything. this series is very character-driven, and thus is very focused on the relationships between other characters. Ace has only had one notable relationship (outside of his feud with Nico, but i'm not really including that as a "relationship" for obvious reasons), and that was with Levi. and that didn't even stay positive for very long. and we also know now that Levi didn't even care about him to begin with because he doesn't care about people in general.
not only did Ace never really get to establish any other relationships, no one ever LIKED him. of course a good portion of the fandom likes him, but in the actual story, no one cares about him. no one will miss him. his death is honestly kind of meaningless character-wise. does it serve as a lesson to some of the other characters? sure. but he's going to be dying here with no one ever liking or caring about him.
Min's story wasn't just a cautionary tale. people did like her, people did care about her. she was friends with a lot of characters, she got to have an impact in the daily lives of others. we got to know her better, the things she liked, her deeper thoughts and opinions on things. she got to do stuff, and we got to learn about her. her death meant more to the characters beyond just being the first culprit. she died as a person, not just as a character.
most of the stuff we know about Ace is surface level or things confirmed in Q&As. he doesn't get to contribute much aside from the aforementioned conflict/comedic relief. i understand where the show is going with that idea, and why him not being liked by anyone is a specific part of what led him to murder, but that's not really what irks me. it's that Ace never got to really be a *person.* he's essentially a plot device, serving the greater "good person" theme going on this chapter, and filling in the smaller roles in the story when needed, like an antagonist in a scene or delivering a gag. yes, his admittance to killing Arei and eventual post-trial trauma dump will give him a bit more humanity and character...but that's not really enough.
we only get to see Ace how the other members of the cast see Ace: his loud, combative, aggressive side. the side that makes people think he's nothing more than an angry meathead who can't do anything right. we never got to see much of his other sides, of a much more somber, melancholic Ace. receiving even a hint of the Ace we see in his confession of guilt beforehand would have given him the depth we needed before this point.
to explain what i mean: imagine how unsatisfying it would have been if we never got to actually see Arei's breakdown in the playground. if Teruko had left before it happened, and we only get to learn what happened from a flashback from David's perspective. we already feel the weight and tragedy of Arei's death when her body is discovered because we knew beforehand why she behaved the way she did, how she never even liked being the way she is, and wishing she could be a good person like Eden. if we didn't get to see that happen beforehand, Arei's death would feel very flat and detached. her character growth would've happened entirely retroactively.
that's how i feel with Ace. it's not like he didn’t get enough spotlight this chapter, he certainly did. but every scene he was in really didn't really add anything new to him. the only thing that "progressed" with him was his hatred and paranoia. we just see him descend with no uplifting moments, no emotional hook to make us feel anything for him. the closest we get is the scene where he's arguing with Nico and Veronika at lunch, ranting about how poorly everyone thinks of him and that they all assume that he's for some reason happy to be the way he is. but it's really the barest of scrapes towards the deeper layers of his character.
a big problem is that there were a lot of chances for his character to actively be *explored*, but instead, the narrative perspective of him stays completely stagnant. the time we get with him this chapter doesn't give him any greater focus. and sure, you could say that that might be a big giveaway to him being the culprit, but i think if the time between character spotlight is distributed evenly, that would be easily circumvented. there was a lot more time that could've been spent building Ace's character beyond his animosity and self-loathing tendencies. we could have had someone actually attempting to bond with him, even if it doesn't turn out well. even if all the characters distrust each other to varying degrees, there's still a lot of characters that like each other or have unique bonds with each other that make them stand out and feel worth remembering, because those bonds contribute something to their characters. but with Ace? he truly gets the short end of the stick, because this isn't just the characters neglecting him, it's the story itself. if Ace got to have a moment like Arei, maybe someone to confide in, even if he wasn't really friends with them or liked them at all, him being vulnerable just once and having a moment with someone else would have rooted him in more as a person who fell victim to what the killing game wanted from him and not just a fictional character fulfilling the purpose required of them in the story.
honestly, it's a bit of a slap in the face, the way the show goes about it. because in hindsight, Ace's whole character is *meant* to be wasted potential. after all, his related phrase on Mai's bio page is "a girl who had a bright future".
he was set up to have the potential to change, the potential to add more to the story, the potential to show us more than what we were given. and i think the show kind of knows that and specifically perpetuates that. the scene where Teruko tells Levi to give up on trying to apologize to Ace almost reads as the show itself telling you to give up on Ace. that, why should we care about him? he's not going to amount to what we want from him. there's no use in investing our feelings in him.
whether or not any of that actually was intentionally doesn't matter, unfortunately, because rewatching so many scenes having this new context really makes it all seem like Despair Time doesn't want you to care about Ace. that Ace is meant to be a waste, that that's the core of his character. him being the epitome of wasted potential could have been great, actually, if they chose to use even a slight bit of that potential to build him up more before his inevitable demise. instead we watch him eat shit throughout the entire show thus far only for him to get royally fucked at the very end in the worst way possible. Ace's theme of wasted potential is only wasted potential because nothing is ever done with him. not actively, anyways. whatever his post-trial confessional is like won't really give us what we needed from the start. Ace didn't just deserve better in his life. he deserves better as a fictional character. he deserved to be a person and not *just* a character. he deserved to have deeper, emotional character moments outside of the trial, long before his murder confession and rapidly approaching demise. he deserved to be 3-dimensional.
again, this is all just my personal opinion, and there's still a chance the show can stick the landing and make Ace as the culprit feel a lot more natural and deserved. i'm not really confident in that happening, but drdt is full of surprises as well as a lot of great writing. that being said, even though i believe they kinda fumbled the bag with Ace here, i don't hate this turn of events. although he's a big favorite of mine, i still wanted Eden to be innocent over him, because she's also a great character and her killing Arei would not only be pretty huge character assassination, but would also make Arei's death meaningless. and i also think there were other characters who could have been better candidates as the chapter 2 killer (not just Hu, i think Levi, Arturo, and maybe even J also could've made for compelling culprits with the right reasons).
i'm content with this. i'm heartbroken he's going so early and i wish the execution of his guilt had been a lot better, but overall it's not terrible. he just deserved so much more in many different ways.
#i'm still worried i'm not articulating this well enough#and its 2am right now as i'm finishing this up so i'm not writing with the clearest of minds#but i think this at least conveys the way i feel somewhat accurately#again. i want to reiterate that i fucking love this show and that Culprit Ace was not a terrible idea#now that it's canon i can see a lot of the good that comes from the concept#but i don't think it was handled very well unfortunately#culprit Hu would've been super awesome ESPECIALLY for this trial but like. i understand she's not and that's okay#and i'm really excited to see what happens with her going forward!#so yeah. drdt is really good. but it's not perfect. but that's also a part of what makes it so good#you feel me?#drdt#danganronpa despair time#despair time#drdt spoilers#despair time spoilers#danganronpa despair time spoilers#drdt chapter 2 part 2#ace markey#arei nageishi#thanks for the ask btw i like it when people are interested in my thoughts and i'm not just talking to the bars of my enclosure lmao
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Lucky is he, Who lives unaware
#fantasy high#dimension 20#d20#fhjy#d20 fhjy#buddy dawn#the rat grinders#bakarath#oisin hakinvar#ivy embra#mary anne skuttle#ruben hopclap#potatart#i had to get these drawings out of my system. thinkng about how buddy was an outcast from the beginning#how he was left behind. how disposable he was#i think buddy is very isolated from the people around him from both himself the adults around him and the way he was raised#maybe he finds comfort in connecting with a deity#im gonna go insane. he has so much potential for good things if only he was actually given a chance#and not constantly being taken advantage of by people who dont care about him#rips my hair out#“arent you tired of being nice dont you want to just go apeshit” “dang y'all”#buddy dawn is going through it i think. just having a spectacularly AWFUL time#fhjy spoilers#NOBODY TALKS ABOUT HOW TIRING IT IS TO BE ANGRY ALL THE TIME. ITS AWFUL#hold on. i have a drawing of kalina and buddy dawn in a car running from the cops but thay didnt fit the tone of this post lol#they have walter white and jessi pinkman vibes to me. you get it#also id like to comment that the last image was meant to convey less of a#“the rat grinders didnt care about buddy dawn!!!” (though i think thats true to some extent)#and more of like. the idea that those four were saved and buddy was not#<- i like the rat grinders
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hi evie !! how have you been ? :33 i hope you dont mind me borrowing you and moze for something ehehe <3
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 nick!#彡 inbox.#evie.ss#omg good morning nick! my stomach literally twisted and flipped seeing this /pos /POS /the most positive gut wrenching feeling in existence#NICK AND THE REASON WAS ? WHY DO U NOT HAVE A KOFI LINK WHERE IS IT …. THIS ISNT OK I NEED TO FIND IT???? U CANNOT BE … BE …. BE UM … YOU K#I NEED TO 😭😭😭 I NEED ….. IS IT OBVIOUSLY IM CRYING WRITING THINSSJSJSN /pos /ULTRA POS THIS IS SO CUTE UR ART IS SOOOO AWESME IM SO IN AWE😭#typos: obvious* <- & barrier* -> amazing work evie#i broke the sound banner with the screech i made seeing this …. YOU … YOU DREW ME … THE EXACT WAY ….. I .. ITS SO SPOT ON I ????? I … IM#FLABBERGASTED . SHELL SHOCKED . GOBSMACKED IM SO OBSESSED WITH HOW U DID MY HAIR …. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I DO MY HAID … AND THE CURLS ARE LI#LIKE THAT… IM SO OBSESSED WITH UR STYLE JSJSJJD HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID IT???? UR STYLE IS MMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! 1000/1000!!!!!! in specif#the colors … the colors are gorgeous and sooo nice to gaze at … the little wings … HOW DID YOU KNOW I LIKE- IM SO . (hugs knees and cries#YOU DREW THAT DRESS AWESOME-LY …. IM GENUINELY LOSING MY MIND AND I HAVENG EVEN .. looked at *him* ….. nick …. im complimenting it and i#can’t even see rn HEJSJCKCNITS BLURRY 😭😭 my head hurts so bad from sobbing but ive never been happier /pos IM SO ???? I LOVE HOW U DREW ME#i went to go triple check for the kofilink and found myself browsing through puppetgear tag once again u^u JENDNDKXJ oh my god . PLEASEEEEE#ok…. moze … he’s … so tiny .. he’s so cute … he looks so grumpy :’) /pos AND YOU .. u captured his squishable look omg….. he’s so teeny he’#literally as big as a fingernail on my phone im :’) HES POCKET SIZED I CANT BELIEVE U DID THIS /pos /ETERNALLY GRATEFUL#WHY 😭😭😭😭😭 YOURE SO KIND IM SO . IM SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF MY ROOM SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AHENDNJXKC AND STARING AT THIS OF COUESE#i just saw the ask 😭 i definitely don’t mind im literally on my hands and knees to thank you and it’s still not enough JSNSNDNMC i have to#dig a dent in the hole and bow inside the hole …… it’s not enough … i genuinely love every square inch of this JSNDNXN i just adore … how u#did me … how u did moze (so— everything) even the circle in the background is a color that i adore 😞😞 sniffle …..#what a treat to see moze in ur style 😭😭 what a HUGE . Nice . AMAZING. TREAT . he looks so good in ur style UGH I WANNA FLOAT AWAY#the physical reaction i had in my stomach & head is unmatched /pos …. it’s vaguely similar to when u get called on in class while nervous .#and ur stomach flips .. but in a positive / EVSTATIC / insanely happy way … thank you so much omfg (link?) (please?) you are so kind ….#i don’t even know how to convey my gratefulness so im resorting to crying-staring-crying-staring-crying#(cries)#oh i never answered ur question haha :’) yea im great! :’) and you? :’)#im gonna put this in queue >/////< URK IM SO …. THANK U NICK ))))))):::: (link perhap?)#edit: OHHHH I SEE HOW U DID MY HAIR COLOR!!!!! that is so cool hello? it’s black- but not? and it fits so perfectly!!!! THAT IS SOO COOL WJ#NO WONDER I WAS ADMIRING THE COLORS EARLIER THIS IS SUCH A COOL THING (nonartist tries to explain how neat something is) NSNDNXKK
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The Vatores Present... A Decennial Vampire Bash: Part X
Featuring everyone in some poorly lit and questionably edited shots, I'm so sorry! Endless thanks one last time to you all! @sprout-sims @melancholicsimmer @moonfromearth @sueniia @sims4thehoes @loveryss @igotsnothing @sammyshuno @madebycoffee @simming-in-the-rain @deathtulips @eggysimblr @jaigny @sylvan-glade @forssims
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Helena: [slurred] I'm suddenly not feeling so hot, Lilith. Lilith? LILITH!!!
[VAMPIRE CHAOS ENSUES]
Lilith: Helena?
Helena: STAY BACK!
Lilith: What's wrong? Give me your hand. You're shaking.
HELENA: DON'T TOUCH ME! NO, GET AWAY! YOU'RE MONSTERS, ALL OF YOU!
Lilith: Helena, what are you talking about? It's only me, and I'm no monster.
Helena: [edgily scans the room, now silent and empty] Do you promise?
Lilith: You can trust me.
#ts4#sims 4#sims 4 story#ts4 story#simblr#story: hzid#bramblewoodvamps#blood tw#horror tw#violence tw#gif warning#gif tw#i am disappointed with these pictures because i spent so long setting them up in game and thought they looked good#but they ended up looking so muddy and dark and i could not figure out a better way to convey the nightmarish/trippy vibe 😭😭#my photoshop skills are just not at that level#i recommend viewing them on a computer because they look especially awful on my phone#anyway... i am at least proud of the gif#(and notice lilith didn't say “i promise”...)#since there were only meant to be 10 parts the 11th and ACTUAL FINAL part will be coming in a few hours#i won't make you wait too long for it#helena zhao#lilith vatore#desi the demon#dj batty#genie hart#mo livingston#drea sandoval
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— And do you or do you not have difficulty remembering such simple instructions? — Only during thunderstorms, sir.
THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965) / DARK SHADOWS (1966)
#don't mind me just absolutely insane about the possibility (probability!) that vicki saw tsom the year before coming to collinwood.#the boom mic in the stairs shot is always cracking me up.#finally me and you and you and me just us and your friend steve (the boom mic operator)#➤ roger collins & victoria winters. ┊ pain sometimes precedes pleasure,miss winters.#gifs.#➤ edits & art. ┊ the evans cottage art gallery.#➤ roger collins. ┊ I and my ghosts want a drink.#➤ victoria winters. ┊ because she’s lost and lonely. because she looks in shadows.#there's obviously far; far less of a christian overtone in ds — but i wonder if you couldn't make the argument that it isn't also#on some level about belief?#belief; namely; in the ghosts that roger resists and vicki with both arms embraces;#faith in the not-so-minor deity liz stoddard; choosing to follow her doctrine even in the face of conflicting truth.#one might consider collinsport a faithful congregation taking sermons from the mount — from the mouth of the reclusive ascetic;#conveyed by loyal (devastatingly; sacrificially loyal) disciples.#and vicki; searching for belonging; for a home; for a family; falls very lamb-like into the flock.#all old gods of course demand their sacrifices in blood: burke; namely; but also matthew; bill; roger (so-attempted)#if i were pushing it (which I always am) you could go so far as to say collinwood's son rises from the tomb.#''but the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night'' etc etc. demanding; first; sacrificial livestock; then virgin blood.#anyway! I digress.#''they say confession is good for the soul. well; my soul needs purifying.''#vicki as the prototypical virgin — the clean slate without history; clear water with neither dirt nor blood —#in which roger cleanses himself (somewhat forcefully!); to wash away guilt and suspicion;#the force of virtue that prevents the intrusion of sin; either through the wood of the confessional or very literally at her bedroom door.#''an innate sense of goodness'' etc; besides being something of a conduit between this world and the next:#re. the seances; the appearances of josette and bill; the various and varied encounters with supernatural; the time travel;#as one might expect of an angel ... or a saint. and one could argue that she goes on to restore roger's faith —#if not in the goodness of the world at large; then the existence of goodness; or in the worth of belief itself.#anyway. long way of saying i love man x his governess whether it's catholic or satanic. sign me up.
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your dread piece makes me nauseous with recognition. there's been so many times when i've been in a happy situation with people i love and im just struck with emotional agony, and i cant say a word. too real. fantastic work.
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#thank you!#I know the feeling all too well so it's nice to hear I was able to convey it effectively#answered#anonymous#cw mental health talk#I personally struggle with panic attacks and occasional autistic shutdowns and they just put you in the weirdest headspaces#especially when you're out with someone and suddenly the world is falling apart and your head is full of cotton wool and thumbtacks#and you forget how to speak so there's no way to communicate your distress or ask for a breather#things just speed wildly past you and you can't process any of it#and you know from previous experiences that it's just a panic attack it's harmless it'll pass soon#but at that moment you sure feel like you're about to lose your mind or die#doesn't feel good wouldn't recommend
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I wish I knew more about music or like how to talk about it in depth because the tsp soundtrack literally makes me feel so many emotions and I don’t even have the words to express why it makes my heart claw out of my chest (major rambling in the tags lol)
#crow thoughts#LIKE. ITS NOT JUST ME RIGHT.#THE MUSIC IN THIS GAME HITS GOOD#like. rn I’ve been nonstop thinking about the epilogue music that plays while you’re traveling to the memory zone#(the video from earlier played a bit of it and it’s been looping in my head)#AND IT JUST. DOES SO WELL AT CONVEYING THE EMPTY LONELY WASTELAND THAT WAS ONCE THE MEMORY ZONE……#like it’s not chipper or upbeat like how it usually is#it’s empty. it’s lonely. it’s looking for something.#<- AND MAYBE ITS A REACH BUT. it sounds eerily close to the freedom ending track#the way it opens at least has that same sort of tone but just the beginning parts#and like. idk if that’s just me feeling that way but. I AM THINKING ABOUT IT.#also a very fun neat one but the bottom of the kind control facility song-#-having a cute simple version of it playing in the background of the bucket version of that ending#idk it’s just so fun I love it. I love it A LOT#(is that a leitmotif? I think so. when a song reuses parts of another song right?)#also I love the way they use the music within the game if that makes sense#such a good navigation between when and when not to play the track#like when you first start up/restart and stand in Stanley’s office it’s got the music playing in the background#and it follows you till you get to the two doors; your first choice and when the music fades out/stops#I know there’s the coward ending as a choice but the two doors is like yknow. the first big choice the game introduces to you directly#<- IDK…….I JUST THINK ITS GOOD……….
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returnal did not cure my depression but it did give me a strangely healing new perspective that makes it all a bit easier to bear. that perspective being 'I may be having a rough time right now, but at least I'm not inside the head of returnal protagonist selene vassos'
#thank god -- at least -- for that! she's going through it in ways few have ever gone through it before#returnal#selene vassos#beat the final boss today! though since the achievement says 'finished act 2'... I take it we're not done here yet haha#the cycle begins again baby!!!#I cannot convey to you just how stupidly fun this game is to play the gameplay is honestly astonishingly good#I am an avowed Platforming Hater and even I have fun with some of those parts because the mobility is done so well#and the running and shooting bits are fully *chef's kiss*#there are a couple of places where I think they don't signal quite enough what they want you to do#but hey I did figure it out eventually right lol#if anyone plays this game after me and sees this listen to my words of hard-earned wisdom... the abyssal vault stays unlocked#you only have to find and use the key the once. that's why you're running around the whole level crying b/c you can't find it#let that knowledge be my gift to you
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.~
#not a vent just a journal entry (feel free to scroll past; there is no snz here and this is also not that interesting)#realizing now that i never thought of myself as#someone whose absence would register to others in any other way than just neutral/detached recognition?#phrasing this really badly and i am truly going to delete this later bc it is embarrassing LOL#i think when i was young and posting all this fic into questionable places (the f*rum) i was like#(@ an unfinished work of mine) no way anyone could be bothered by these cliffhangers 👍 they can just imagine the ending#even though i would frequently be bothered by other people's cliffhangers. that exact same principle just wouldn't apply to me in my head#and when i did not respond to people i was like.. i'm sure i wasn't really an important part of their lives so they won't mind it#if i stepped away?#i never really entertained the concept of people missing me or looking forward to my responses 😭 i never thought of myself as someone worth#missing... so when i disappeared it was always with little to no sense of guilt. i think even now i struggle with#seeing myself as someone that inhabits like a tangible enough space in other people's lives that my absence would be felt#(and i don't mean that in a morbid way. and i do recognize that it's quite hypocritical)#on the flipside of things i frequently miss people and look forward to their responses. and sometimes i wonder like#do they all know? do they all know that i miss them because they somehow understand this aspect of human nature better than i do?#or are they in the dark like i am? are these things assumed or are they only known when they are said... 😭#i am a little bit of a coward so i am not saying anything (also because can you even say this kind of thing to someone??#i would probably die of embarrassment) but#how strange it is to have someone suddenly inhabit a space in your life that is substantial enough that#when they're gone you feel that space open up and you miss them#the few times in my life people have conveyed that sentiment to me i remember feeling puzzled that my presence could have that kind of#weight to them. i think my problem is that i purposefully do not read between the lines if the conclusion is something favorable towards me#because i don't want to bank on something good that might or might not be true 😭 anyways this is way too long already. if you read this#then good morning or goodnight
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Can everyone please go see Anora so i can talk about how I felt like i was watching the pinnacle of my favorite living director's career and then it crashed and burned in exactly the way i feared it was going to 😔
#two for two in recent movies doing this to me (was rocking with it until the end)- one predictable one not- what gives#still really good to be clear#'let's film sex work as just some job. let's convey every emotion in simple yet clever ways.'#'let's do breakneck overlapping funny dialogue. let's do quiet intimacy. let's take you to a location. let's take you to another location.#'let's abruptly turn this from an indie movie about wealth/power/adulthood into a blockbuster roadtrip.'#i was (mostly) loving it. just let me stay in loser armenian world a bit longer...#films
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hmm...
vampire Binah...
keep talking
Binah refuses to feed from you, ever. you're her love, her most precious treasure, and she wants nothing more than to hold and and protect you from the outside world for the rest of days. how strange- Binah is known for her ruthlessness, leaving corpses in her wake marked from pale claws stained with blood. mortals are but a meal to her, something to satiate her hunger and sadistic tendencies
but with you- with you- there's a constant need to pull you close, to wrap her arms around you and bury her face into your hair. her skin is cold as ice, but with you she feels a hint of warmth in her chest, a light, pleasant spark that comes whenever you lace your fingers with hers or give her a surprise hug from behind. she's fond of you, imagine, a bloodthirsty vampire having fallen for a human. so Binah won't ever feed from you, won't ever hurt you. even when her limbs ache and head burns from starvation, she'd rather kill hundreds of worthless others than to even graze your skin with those viper-sharp fangs of hers
perhaps, if she's lucky, you won't completely despise her when you discover that she's a monster
#project moon#lobotomy corporation#library of ruina#binah#binah lobcorp#binah library of ruina#she's excellent at hiding it#the way her eyes occasionally flash red or how her ears are slightly pointed#to you she's just a mysterious new companion who joined you on the road#a good friend who can look out for herself#she's afraid to be too touchy with you or convey her feelings since she knows you'll eventually find out#but oh how her dead heart beats when you hold onto her hand or her cloak
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Shinjiham is cute when it’s romantic but tbh I think i vastly prefer the idea of them being best friends instead. Like, neither of them really saw it coming and weren’t really looking to get another best friend (Shinji has Akihiko, Kotone has Junpei and Yukari respectively) but it happens anyway. Kotone takes a liking to Shinji much faster than she does anyone else and I’d say a big reason is just the fact that he’s so reserved that it allows Kotone to do most of the talking while he just listens and they love this arrangement cuz Kotone doesn’t get to talk about her own interests very much. Though I think some of her needs to talk to Shinji stems from this insecurity that he isn’t happy in the group and she has this people pleasing problem and wants everyone to be happy so she makes a much bigger effort to talk to Shinji. And it’s very unfortunate because Shinji intentionally acts cold and distant because he doesn’t want to form any attachments because he wants to die soon, but aaaaaaaagh dammit this girl just keeps talking to him and being sweet and encouraging him to engage in his interests and share them with the others and he just can’t seem to say no when she’s got those damn puppy eyes. And Kotone is just able to get him out of his shell by being persistent but not in an overwhelming way, she’s very cheerful and supportive of him. And Shinji is able to offer her support by encouraging her to talk about herself and by making sure she’s taking care of herself. They just click really well and make such a positive dent in each other’s lives and it’s all about basic acts of kindness going a long way you know?
#persona#persona 3#kotone shiomi#shinjiro aragaki#i uh. probably didnt do much here to prove that their relationship is best when its platonic akjsks i mean idk how to convey it#that these two are just so good for each other but that im just not feeling it romantically#and why should i honestly like cant a guy and a girl just be platonic soulmates like me and jackie aljsks#plus i just have other ships with these characters i like better ahem akishinji and mitsuham yall already know#and i just feel really comforted by their relationship being best friends cuz it makes the pocket watch a lot more power of friendship#and it just. irks me the idea that its romantic love that saves shinji and its romantic love that gave him a will to live#cuz first off you can save him without romancing him and also like if you think kotone is the only person he wants to live for#youre just wrong like in fact its very clear in his social link that he feels this strong love for everyone#its literally like why other characters are so ingrained into his link he loves everyone and they love him back#its just kotone who organizes the time for them all to get together plus like idk when ppl say shinji only wants to live after romancing#kotone its like. well hes not gonna have a good time post coma then huh#and i suppose the point being made is he has to learn to live even if his gf isnt there but again like. shes not the only thing he has#idk i just hate this like pedestal romantic relationships are put on and i hate the implications that like#akihiko has been trying for years to protect shinji and his love doesnt matter cuz it isnt some heterosexual romance#grrrrr it just irks me is all and yeah i just think theyre besties who do everything together#kotone is like shinjis emotional support animal that guides him through the scary crowds and shinji is off putting enough to scare away the#meanies that come their way and they have a dress up montage and make cookies
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youtube
yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24
#guys this is not becoming a regular thing this is just the mental illinois breaking through but ALSO I SAW THIS AND SCREAMEDDDDD#they did this For Me. those are all my guys. like yes yes we know about xhekovský but that’s my adopted austrian son david reinbacher!!!#that’s my baby goalie carey price time travel cowboy son cayden primeau!!!! and i just LOVE that they were like#‘yeah so one of them is gonna be a bitch in both pairs. & yeah we’re gonna make them lose.’ & i am HERE for it. you know the media day vid#where they asked all of them who was brat on the team and like 75% said slaf which we all KNEW? yes. correct. even more evidence godddd#also empathize so much with him because i hate feeling stupid & he is notably like. a very smart guy w/good awareness of broader society#and sorry to get like this on a silly little post i’m about to fanfiction-ify before i have xhekovský hours but so much of this goes back#to the xenophobia in the nhl and how we treat players (not only that. people in north am/west tbh) whose first language is not english#and degrade/discredit them and their intelligence by virtue of their multilingualism and how we even think about multilingualism as a whole#e.g. the sense that certain languages are perceived as more ‘valuable’ capital/the support that SHOULD be there for language learning simpl#is not from what i can tell in the nhl so even if you wanted to foster an environment of intercultural competency they’re doing nothing to#support it. the stories!! of so many guys! reliant solely upon their teammates for basic necessities! WHERE is your language acquisition#programming. sorry the linguistics language and culture attempted to jump out there & i am not conveying what i want to say at ALL. anyway#juraj's slow descent into madness as u can SEE him visibly getting more & more over it & done is my roman empire. like he's having fun#at first he's laughing 'what is this whiskey?' & i AM thinking that toothy little grin at arber with the jerkoff hand motion about the mapl#syrup only taking a few minutes to come (out) was a dig. lord knows arber deserved it with his shorts pulled all the way up like GOD the me#you put here to wear slutty little 3" shorts live in cold CANADA and have to cover up their thigh tattoos. what a travesty. and the amount#of THIGH in this video i- biting. arber's hairy legs slaf's manspreading more as he gets frustrated & arber teases him i. and DAVID????#on a completely different note cayden with his face covered is giving me INTENSE brainworms i have the most unhinged storylines for him#AND THE BRYNDZOVE HALUSKYYYY everything past 2:00 is gold. david's tired sighs. slaf hating it here. arber having the time of his life#'taste' 'that's not an advantage' DAVID kill him. 'maple syrup specialist... normal guy 🤷' slaf you are the WORST loser and ily for it#arber defending his wife w/his life... juraj's the smartest guy in the room & arber's on his leash about it. it goes both ways (to be cont)#juraj slafkovský#arber xhekaj#david reinbacher#cayden primeau#montreal canadiens#i'm xhekovský posting leave me alone i'm also *****
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