#you humans like cats
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Another little headcannon (inspired by @roxannepolice headcannon that every master post cheetah virus still has it deep in their dna)
Every master post-cheetah virus is like a magnet for cats.
#saxon definitely uses that in his marketing campaign#look cats#you humans like cats#cats like me#ergo you like me#also imagine in a war torn gallifrey - a gallifreyan cat (they have nine lives) follows the war master#and doesn't leave#and when it's very cold he just sleeps on his shoulders#emotional support cat#doctor who
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Скетчі.
#art#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 fanart#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#heavymedic#red octoberfest#Medic finally got him pregnant and it's their first human baby#Heavy is very happy I promise#Baby Medic is so cute...#I hired this baby to stare at you#Hasn't changed his style since the 20s#He's like a little kitten#born ugly but eventually he'll grow into a big beautiful cat
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Prompt 102
Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath. In for ten seconds, out for eight. Alright. Okay. “Let me get this straight,” he didn’t motion to the three teens- or not teens even if two apparently looked like they were- but it was a close thing. “You-”
Phantom perked up, white hair flickering with what he was pretty sure were stars as they turned away from the window looking out into space. “-are two years old.” The fae-esque being who looked more like a fourteen year old gave a half-distracted nod. Which, for a toddler, they were paying attention pretty well.
“You-” Klarion looked up from where he was fiddling with the cuffs that had been on him, cat sprawled on his shoulder now that it was out of the carrier. “-are six?” Another distracted nod, the apparently-child seemingly enamored with the sounds the cuffs made when they clinked together.
“And you-” He turned towards Marvel, who shrank back before seemingly steeling themself. “-are in fact ten.” The… well they had thought demigod but apparently all three were some sort of realms-being, which had apparently made Constantine pale and start cursing before stomping out of the Watchtower. Another nod and shaky thumbs up.
Alright. Okay. They had in fact let a ten-year old join the league, which wouldn’t have been so bad if they had known. Especially the fact that apparently Marvel was only half-human, which suddenly explained so much about how he didn’t know so many things about a human life. Which-
“You,” he turned towards Phantom again to make sure he was listening before returning his attention to Marvel. “And you have both lived at least a year in the human realm with human companions, but your-” He turned his gaze towards the ravenette in the center. The six year old apparently. “-experience with the human realm is literally just with the Light.”
Yet another distracted nod. Okay. Bruce was tempted to scream in a room for the entire situation that had cropped up from the single action of taking Klarion’s familiar and then the boy himself into custody. Then again, it was honestly a much better thing they had apparently caught this.
“Alright,” he sighed, suddenly feeling incredibly exhausted. “To make sure I have all of this correct-” Because it was already a shitshow and the amount of shouting had absolutely spooked the child. To the point he’d- according to Marvel- made what was apparently some sort of very distressed noise that had made both him and Phantom running. Or rather flying and portaling.
“-in the realms, people there make friends through fighting,” Bruce pauses to make sure he got that part correct. The origin of this entire misunderstanding with the chaos-lord. Lordling?
All three nodded, Klarion losing interest in the cuffs and starting to pet his cat. Familiar. Everyone had referred to it as a familiar and Marvel had appeared utterly horrified that they had taken said familiar away. Somehow he was the one the trio were currently trusting and weren’t doing the same towards any of the other league members.
“And you have been trying to make friends with the Jr team, which they have been taking as an attack due to this miscommunication.” Honestly they should have gotten more information, though he couldn’t exactly blame any of the teens, what with everything they were currently dealing with.
“... is there any sort of guardian or something you might have, that can be contacted? Or anyone that could help prevent a situation like this from happening again?” All three avoided his eyes, suddenly finding things like the table and walls very interesting.
Oh. Hm. This could be a problem.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#Bruce is so done#Danny: I would have a guardian but the observants locked him up in his clocktower 'cause he used to date the king#Marvel: Does Tawny count?? Like he's a tiger but he also talks and is sapient...#Klarion: Mother Chaos is busy so dropped me off in this world to play#Bruce: Oh no#Bruce already filling out temporary custody papers: Oh No#Bruce: Do any of you know how to do human things#Danny: Oh my human caretakers were mad scientists-#Bruce: OH NO#Marvel: Oh when I'm smaller the street kids help me out#Bruce grabbing a blanket: OH NO#Klarion: I am doing good at being human a completely normal thing to want a good grade in#Bruce already bundling them up: OH NO#They all have familiars lmao#Klarion has Teekl the cat#Danny has Cujo the dog#Billy has Tawny the tiger#JL in the other room having a breakdown or five#Why yes they were fighting a literal child#And yes apparently they did let in another child and literal toddler#Danny: Hold on can I at least get my sister before we go anywhere#Bruce: Hnnnn#His kids are going to laugh at him for bringing home 4 kids
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I like when Kenny plays with the kittens and he lays on top of them
#it’s a very human quality. if that makes sense???#like when you play with a little kid and pretend to sit on them so they can’t get away#turns out cat children love that just as much as human children#my post#Bianca#Kenny
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Moon 27: Walking on My Grave (feat @in-memoriam-tgwk Glowstar!)
PREVIOUS | NEXT
#jcmoons#warrior cats#clangen#clangen warrior cats#wc#wc oc#warriors oc#early post cuz I have lasik on Friday and I will be too blind to read replies lol#and drugged up#I’m rusty I’m sorry I TRIED#NYWAYS how about that folks. no god. no forgiveness. only ghosts.#this is why I had the human name polls btw#also the human is Mary since y’all liked that name so much#Mary Blake……#also the Ye is shorthand for The from 1600s times you guys should see the tombstones from back then they did not give a FUCK#they were all illiterate and paid per letter#and forgot things and crammed it in the margins lol
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Ogata and his Ogakittens
#this was originally meant to be a color practice but i like how it turned out so now you get to see it on Tumblr dot com#i've been obsessed with this man for over 3 years you are free to point and laugh#no meaning behind everything being green i just like green#illustration#my art#fanart#gk fanart#digital art#art#drawing#golden kamuy#gk ogata#ogata hyakunosuke#i hate him#i love him#human art#human#does he qualify as human#he is a cat#to me at least#gk#talk to me about him and my life is yours#might make this into a print
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Thinking about how cats the musical works so well because every cat thinks theyre the best cat. Like yeah of course this cat thinks the entire train will not go without him and that hes basically in charge. Hes a cat.
#rambling again but I love skimbleshanks so much hes the most cat to me#cats the musical#musicals tag#one thing that people sometimes forget about cats is just how much it's about CATS#like yeah theyre human looking cats and the cats are all their own distinct characters but theyre all SO CAT. you get it
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I really think we as a society don't give enough credit to performers who thrive in an ensemble situation. It's always obvious when an actor is excellent front and center, and we're constantly rewarding that skill set with awards, but god, there's something to be said for the power of a true ensemble piece. People who are so good at reading one another and playing off what they're given, tossing the ball and knowing when to turn it into a grenade. As much fun as it is to watch a solid monologue or a solo show, I always find it so much more thrilling--and so much more authentically lived-in--when there's an ensemble just feeding one another in every single scene. Who do I look at? What is everyone else learning and deciding even from the background? This is what life looks like, and actors who really shine in that environment have really become my favorite to follow.
#i feel this way about yellowjackets. i feel it about flanagan's whole lil theater troupe.#yeah it's great to have 1-3 stars shining like crazy#but isn't the sky so much brighter when it's filled with constellations?#that's part of why i love broadway so much too. in a really solid show (i'm talking your hadestown vibes) the whole stage comes alive#anywhere you look there's a human being SO HUMAN#even if they're like. a cat. or an alien. or whatever.#it's so cool#and as a writer i'm always trying to find ways of making my stories feel as lived-in as possible#to envelope the audience and make them feel a part of the narrative fabric#ensemble stuff--done well--is built for that
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Are we all cats?
I have had a vision; remember when Megatron captured Sam and stuff? He makes this type of lion rumbles after saying "Come here boy."
First of all sounded really cool secondly he do be sounding like a cat. Humans are space cats? Transformers are cats? Nuh-uh everyone are all cats here.
So cat headcanons for all!
Bots will scruff humans that are being little gremlins.
Human zoomies are very concerning but entertaining to transformers.
The version of cat beans here are human face cheeks.
Air jail is an extremely popular trend among bots to do with their human charges.
Humans and transformers purr when happy. ✨
(This is my au I can do whatever I want with it fuck you)
You know when a cat comes over to lay on you and you're like "omg you want to cuddle with me?! 🥺💕" Same thing when a human wants a hug or to be carried. Not moving when a cat sleeps on you rules also apply here.
#if you try hard enough you can make everything cat like#humans are space cats#a society of cats would be so chaotic#transformers#transformers x human#transformers x humans#megatron#sam witwicky
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I've seen people make human AUs and equate Winter's scavenger fascination with being like. a crazy cat person. and while that is really good and I do think Winter would and should be crazy about cats, I do think like... if you are going to give him an equivalent interest you gotta go nicher than that. Like, being a Cat PersonTM is a thing like half the population identifies at. You GOTTA go stranger. He needs to be regularly attending reptile conventions. He needs to daydream about owning a praying mantis. He needs to yell at underpayed PetSmart workers about how small the fish tanks are that they keep the bettas in. He needs to be offered the chance to hold a snake and he needs to talk to that snake like he's greeting the queen. He needs to show you photos of tarantulas please please please look at his pictures please of his tarantulas
#in my. non magic AUs I mean where the scavenger characters just kind of stop existing as opposed to like. the scavenger characters Are The#Animals because I think the ways that get handled can get pretty dicey really quickly especially depending on the like#type of animal one picks to do that with if you don't make them just The Dragons Instead which I think is more appropriate#wings of fire#wof#human wof#winter#winter wof#i don't mean to imply that fish are a weird pet to keep but i do mean to imply that like#being a cat person is not necessarily a personality trait so much as it is a like... preference of a person. but if somebody told me they#were a “fish person” the way they would identify as a dog/cat person I WOULD count that as a personality trait and I'm saying whatever that#trait is winter has it
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war god sukuna has no need for you. you know this as intimately as you know yourself.
he is a monstrous god, well-suited to the mantle he was given from birth; two pairs of muscular arms as thick as the average man’s torso, two cruel faces, a gaping maw carved into the hardness of his stomach. to peer into sukuna’s eyes is to see death and famine and destruction — wars raged long before you and long after you — and live through it all.
he has no need for you. he is perhaps more powerful than the entire pantheon, even the six-eyed-one and the curse-consumer, who swallows the sky every day to bring night. you have little understanding of the sheer magnitude of his power — your pathetic human brain can only fathom so much — but you know that sukuna, undoubtedly, is the very meaning of the word. and yet, he keeps you.
you are not a concubine, though he shirks those he has in favour of your company. you are not a general, nor an admiral, nor a soldier, and yet he seeks your counsel. you are not a mage, and hardly a grand priestess, and yet sukuna finds your door instead of that of his great temple, where hundreds live and breathe to serve him.
you had only reached the status of alter-maiden before your own temple was crushed to dust; little responsibility was given to you beyond tending the hearth, studying, and occasionally helping with chores. but sukuna dresses you in the finery of high priestesses — gauzy crimson dresses that bare your stomach and chest, fine golden jewellery and garnets that appear almost black in low light — and instructs you to dance in the way your superiors did. dances of worship, dances that he does not need, because he is already all-powerful.
the dances fit you like armour fits the weedy frame of a young boy — your legs don’t quite stretch far enough, your arms can’t move with a fluidity only gained by experience — but sukuna watches you like you are a sorceress, enchanting him with each step. he hushes uruame as they try to speak, insisting on remaining undisturbed during your worship — and when you finish, panting and glistening with sweat, your god only hums in satisfaction, grin all sharp-toothed and feral.
it must be blasphemous, you think, to perform such revered dances so clumsily—
but perhaps even more blasphemous, though, is the lingering touches your god fixes upon your waist; the hunger in his eyes as you dance; the scrape of his pointed nails against your jawline; the tent in his robes at the sound of your laboured breaths after dancing.
you fear the god of war means to have you in more ways than one — and worse still, you can’t find it within you to care.
#sukuna x reader#nsft#sukuna x you#jjk x reader#jjk x you#sukuna smut#jjk smut#listen i have a lot of thoughts abt how u really r just like#a toy for him at first#like a cat batting at a dying bird#ur just like so pathetic and human and hes like yeah ill take that one#and it means absolutely nothing at the start - ur just amusing and entertaining and ur heart beats like a hummingbirds when he looks at u-#-like he wants to split u in two on his cock (he does)#and then hes like oh fuck ur humanity has endeared u to me. oh fuck#etc but add more jealous concubines and godly drama of course :3333
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I just think they deserve to be happy
+ jarthur cat edition
#they’d be like those cats that spend all day tangled up with each other#aough#can you smell the touch starvation on this post#malevolent#artists on tumblr#izel scribbles#malevolent podcast#traditional art#john doe malevolent#arthur lester#Jarthur#private eyes#(i dont rlly ship them romantically tho)#human john doe#sketches
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Prompt 81
Danny blinked at the small children Ellie was holding the hand of, looking quite proud of herself. The small children- between ten and twelve so somewhere similar to Ellie’s age- who both practically stank of magic and Gods.
He took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose even as Dan cackled while opening the door more to let them inside. “Alright, what’s your name, kids?”
“B-billy…um, Billy Batson...” “‘m Percy! Percy Jackson.”
“Nice to meet you two- any idea where in your family you have a god or two, because one of you definitely smells like Zeus and I’m pretty sure Poseidon and I am not dealing with either of my half-brothers.”
#prompts#dcxdp#dpxpj#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#billy batson#Danny was adopted by Clockwork who is the origin behind Kronos#Oh they're both orphans? No one to take care of them?#Goddamnit Clockwork you made sure Ellie found them didn't you#Liminals are hidden from monsters thanks to feeling like them & the dead#CW: If they won't take care of their kids then I'll give the lil demigods to my favorite son :)#The JL finding out Billy is a child: You need a guardian- how could we let this happen#Billy: Actually my older sister has looked 12 for the last 100 years and my younger brother looks 20 so that's very human-ist of you#Percy peering out at some camp people who are trying to see if he's home: MA There's some weird ass cats outside!#Percy: Am I allowed to throw the pool at them 'cause they aren't taking no for an answer#Danny teaching the kids how to use powers: Alright and now we're going to your other dad and moms to learn magic#Danny: And how to shoot a gun in Val's case because I will forget gun safety#Everlasting Quartet#Phantastic Four#“Hey Marvel how do you know that info about Dr Fate he looks so pissed??”#“Oh one of my parents know him and they don't get along so now we always take the chance to call him a lil Bitch but politely”#Percy: Billy if you can summon lightning and I can control water can we combine them#Billy: One way to find out- hey Daaaaan#Camp people trying to find Percy: Wtf wtf wtf#The pantheon: WHAT DO YOU MEAN KRONOS HAD ANOTHER CHILD?! WHERE?! HOW!?#Clockwork: Look at my Favorite Child who doesn't Fuck with the Timeline or are Raging Hypocrites & takes care of his kids#Clockwork curled up with Danny & new grandchildren in his chest like a mother crocodile: Everything is as it should be :)#Marvel: Look at my lil brother isn't he adorable he's a year younger than me but takes more after our other mom#Percy: Hi Mr Aquaman I can control water & talk to fish and was wondering if you have any tips#“Marvel we're going to die-” “No we're not lemme call my big brother- if he can destroy the timeline he can fix it” “If he What”
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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 4 ]
{☆} characters arlecchino, furina, lyney {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood {☆} word count 3.7k {☆} previous [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ]
Fontaine was bathed in darkness, not even the moon daring to illuminate where the common man fears to walk. The streets were bleak and empty save for the constant, rhythmic ticking and clanking of machines marching on endlessly, dauntlessly wading where even the bravest dared not to venture. Not even the sharp click of the Gardes boots followed the occasional hisses of steam as they walked the barren streets.
It was haunting, and it'd been like that for days now. It showed little signs of stalling in the slightest, too. Every inch of Fontaine was practically crawling with Gardemeks– like a swarm of rats skittering about.
Arlecchino had secluded herself in the Hotel Bouffes d'ete for days at this point, waiting– biding her time. Her nails clicked against the wood as she tapped at the table in a stilted rhythm, the subtle click of the clock mixing into the clanking outside, weaving in and out of earshot as the patrols slipped by. She reached forward after a moment of thought, reaching for the white king.
She leaned back against the chaise, tilting her head just enough to catch a glimpse of a patrol of Gardemeks as they vanished behind the rows and rows of buildings. It wasn't enough to keep her attention for long, however, her features twisting in disinterest as she glanced back to the chessboard– and the letter neatly resting beside it. The seal was unmistakable and a sobering sight, demanding her attention– the soft hues of blue etched into the shape of a dragon stared back at her in a way that almost unsettled her.
She had already parsed through it's contents hundreds of times, but she was met with only vague, flowing script that only served to irritate her more then anything– it filled the page top to bottom yet managed to say nothing at all. Her hand reached out again, but instead of reaching for the letter she plucked the black rook from the board, setting it down with a soft click.
Arlecchino had all the time in the world to sit back and observe her prey, but all that time would be useless if she lacked the information to act.
And he was quite tight fisted about it, evidentially. None of her inquiries or attempts to decipher any potential codes in the letter left her empty handed. She could not act without even knowing the reason for his summons– it was almost worded like a personal affair rather then one would expect for a foreign diplomat. In truth, she'd expected a scalding report on her operatives, but it lacked any mention of anything of the sort.
She was no stranger to people masking hostility behind pretty words and compliments, not that it was ever unwarranted per se– the Fatui did not create connections through honesty and genuine kindness. They have strong armed more then their fair share of people into cooperation to the point distrust is all the Fatui are met with outside of Snezhnaya. Every word was meant to conceal the deceit, every action meant to conceal the price later paid.
So she had been..skeptical of the letter, to put it lightly. She doubted the Iudex of all people would offer a hand to the Fatui without a price attached– a trap, perhaps, meant to lure in the most powerful piece left on the board. Her eyes narrowed, reaching for a white rook and moving it to the right.
Or he was hiding something. Something that he simply couldn't risk getting out to anyone, not even the Divine themself. A tempting prize, whatever it was.
..A dangerous prize, too.
She'd considered burning the letter and forgetting it all together– the risk was great, and she couldn't risk getting caught up by whoever else the Iudex may have on his side of the board. But she could hardly pass up the challenge and the prize that he fought so hard to keep from prying eyes and ears. Even her agents came back empty handed each time. She lazily picked up a black rook, sliding the white pawn aside.
"Lyney," Arlecchino drawled, crossing one leg over the other and turning her gaze to the door as it slowly creaked open. The pale visage of Lyney stepped through, though his siblings were noticeably absent. The weariness that weighed down on his shoulders was apparent in the slightest furrow of his brows and the subtle creak of leather as he clenched his fists behind his back. "Father." He choked out, the title dragged out by the sharp inhale and shaky exhale.
He looked out of breath, she noted.
The silence that lingered after the small exchange was punctuated only by the click of another chess piece being moved. She sets aside the black rook, letting it sit among the dozen other pieces that had been wiped off the board. She can see the conviction glinting beneath the fog of exhaustion, but if he would utilize it was another matter all together.
He had seemed to make his choice quickly, at the very least.
"Our contacts and operatives within the Fortress of Meropide have gone silent– all we have is their final confirmed missive.." His voice is confident, but it is rigid as the words spill from his lips. He takes a sharp step forward, unfolding his arms from behind his back and opening his hands– the small, water stained and messily folded note catches her eye, plucking it from his palms with a half hearted interest. "They believe the Duke left the Fortress of Meropide..and that he may be coming to the Court of Fontaine."
Her eyes narrow dangerously, nearly crumpling the thin paper in her hands– yet just as quickly, she collects herself.
But she cannot get rid of the bitter taste on her tongue, lingering as she sets down the note and slides it to the side, her lips pursed into a thin line.
So the Iudex had shown one of his pieces..she tightly grasps a black rook, tipping over the white rook, letting it roll against the board.
If the Duke was involved, things were much more complicated then she expected– he would be a problem, she was certain. She couldn't blame the lamb for fearing the wolf, either. Whether her agents had been killed or captured by the man mattered little. He had his ways, and he was a force that could instill fear in even them.
Which meant the possibility that her operation was already compromised was far too real.
What had the Iudex so concerned he had gone through the trouble of bringing in the Duke and herself? The Fatui was one thing, but to specifically request one of it's Harbingers..
The Prophecy? The thought had her clenching her fist, but..no. If it were to rear it's head now, the Iudex could simply not afford to waste time on his contacts deciphering his nonsensical script– If the prophecy were to be the issue, there time would be limited to mere minutes in the worst of cases. Which meant it was worth biding his time in order to ensure absolute secrecy.
So if not the prophecy, then what?
Her next moves were..limited. She was already walking on eggshells considering her position and the reputations of the Fatui– especially with a Harbinger in the midst. If they caught wind of her operations, they'd weed out her operatives and be on guards for any snakes that lingered in their garden.
She reached for the chessboard again, picking up one of the white rooks from the board with a scowl. The sharp click as she sets down the white rook and sets aside the black pawn draws a shaky inhale from Lyney as she moves another black pawn, the dull click of the pieces drowning out the distant clinking of machines.
..A draw, perhaps.
The pieces were all falling into place– the players of this game were slowly being revealed. Whether she could secure her victory..she was unsure.
She wasn't even sure who her opponent was. Only that the Iudex himself was but another piece in their game.
Arlecchino reached for the board again, yet this time she hesitated. Perhaps she could still swipe the win from beneath them, if she played her cards right.
She would simply have to capture the king– or, if need be, let it end on a draw. Either way, she would not concede. She could not afford to concede. Down to the last piece, she would drag out this match until she was in a position to force their hand into the outcome she desired.
She stood slowly, picking up the king piece and observing it for only the briefest of moments before she set it down on the table, taking measured steps around the table and across the room. She was hunting a much more dangerous quarry today– it would be no simple runaway traitor this time.
"Do you remember the directive?" She inquired coldly, her hand lingering on the door for that long, tense moment. "..Yes, Father." Lyney faltered, taking a hesitant step back and bowing at the waist. "Then do not stray."
All that was left was the silence and click of the door shutting behind her as she disappeared down the hall, her boots clicking harshly against the floorboards. The rest of the agents knew better then to linger in her path as she stepped down into the lobby, adjusting the cuffs of her sleeves. She barely even acknowledged the Fatui agent standing at the ready by the heavyset doors, their gloves hands held out with her cloak held loosely in their palms. She quickly snagged it from them, tugging it over her board shoulders and clasping it around her throat.
With a quick tug, she brought the hood up over her head to conceal her sharp features, lifting her hand and placing a neatly folded note within their waiting hands. She had only one chance to make the right moves and secure her victory– no matter the cost.
Each piece had it's purpose.
Oft, that purpose was a bloody and horrible end– but for the grand goal of the Fatui built on the backs of the dead, it was an honor.
She didn't bother speaking a word as she dismissed them with a wave of her hand, pushing open the heavyset doors and stepping out into the barren, damp streets. The rhythmic clink and whir of Gardemeks was still distant– she needed to move. Her boots clicked and splashed in the rain soaked stone of the streets as she slithered between the buildings, ducking through the openings in the patrols.
It was almost too easy.
She tilted her head back, taking in the towering Palais Mermonia with a scowl, her hands clenched into fists. The final moves were being played– the king was within her reach, yet she felt no more confident then when she began.
The air carried a sense of unease, thick and heavy, filling her lungs until she felt her breath still in her chest– listening to the empty, bleak night that seemed so..quiet.
She'd done her fair share of research, had more then her fair share of her agents try to peer into the Iudex's office or the Archon's supposedly hidden chambers, but every attempt was a failure. She had to give them credit, they were quite elusive when they wished to be. Though now she only thought about it bitterly– this was all a risky gamble, in the end, and only time would tell if it paid off.
With minimal effort, she'd managed to pull herself to the flat, tiled roof, eyeing the massive tower peaking out of the center cautiously. At least here the wandering patrols down below weren't likely to notice her..she could hear them passing by the spot she'd been in only a few minutes ago, just beneath her. She pulled the hood further over her face, peering through the sheer darkness of the night for any oddities, but it was almost impossible to see in the dark.
Her boots clicked softly against the tiles as she approached the tower jutting out from the Palais, her hand gliding along the smooth stone, pressing against odd indents or crevices. If it was for the Archon's chambers, she doubted they made it very difficult– she'd only met the woman once, but she doubted the Iudex make it all that complex just from a brief glance. And it surprised her little when one of the stones sunk into the wall, gears whirring as the walls split open to reveal a stairwell straight into an inky black hall. Only the barest hint of light peaked under the door at the bottom, but it's occupants must have heard her, considering it went out not a moment later.
She cautiously stepped down into the small crevice, her breath visible in the bitter cold air– her shoulders tensed at the subtle sound of muffled footsteps behind the door, her vision flaring with a molten heat between her shoulder blades as she reached for the worn handle of the door. The heat of her vision was enough to just barely heat the metal, her vision flaring like a quickly building inferno.
Arlecchino was prepared for a fight, if it came down to it.
The door creaked as she pressed against it, shoving it open with a grunt of effort and surveying the room with narrowed eyes and a biting remark on the tip of her tongue– the lavish opulence was expected, she supposed, but the lack of the towering figure of the Iudex was not.
Yet before she could get a word in or even take in her surroundings properly, the light flickered back on and she had to squeeze her eyes shut with a hiss at the sudden brightness. She could hear the door being shoved closed behind her, the hurried footsteps retreating just as quickly as her eyes adjusted to the light.
..This was a joke, wasn't it? It had to be.
She'd expected the Iudex, perhaps even the Duke if she'd been unlucky, not the Hydro Archon. She had half the mind to test her worth as an Archon then and there, her temper flaring like an uncontrollable blaze, barely kept at bay. It took all her self control to force herself to smile politely at the woman rather then snarl.
"Miss Furina," She sneered beneath her hood, x shaped pupils locked onto the startled, trembling Archon with thinly veiled contempt. "What a..pleasant surprise. You'll have to forgive my manners, I assumed I was meeting with the Iudex." She observed her body language carefully– the way her eyes darted about like a frightened rabbit seeking escape, the slightest tremble of her lips..
Arlecchino opened her mouth to offer another scathing remark, but her jaw audibly clicked shut as her entire body seemed to lock up. Even her vision went cold against her back, a chilling feeling creeping up her spine as someone, or something, crept up behind her. Their footsteps were almost silent, the slight rustling of their clothes the only thing she could hear over her heart pounding against her ribcage.
Arlecchino had always prided herself on being on the other end of that sensation– she was the monster, and her target was the prey frozen like a deer between the hunters crosshair.
It was a chilling feeling to have the dynamic shifted on it's head.
She couldn't even swallow, her jaw clenched so hard she could hear it creak as she tried to reason with her quickly splintering mind– a futile effort, her joints locking up almost painfully. Black spots were quickly swallowing her vision from the lack of air in her lungs, the sound of shuffling behind her barely audible over the ringing in her ears.
For a moment – a moment too long to have only lasted the seconds that it did, yet so quick it gave her whiplash – she thought she would hit the floor dead before she could even glimpse her assailant.
And then it was gone. She came crashing back into reality with a startled inhale, her lungs burning and her knees nearly buckling under her. The instinct to lash out and kill whoever had done it was intense, yet she couldn't bring herself to move even a finger– it would be so easy to twist around and ignite them with searing flames, but her feet were rooted in place.
She almost didn't notice the surprisingly gentle hands unclasping her cloak, tugging it off her shoulders, if not for the sheer intensity of the presence still lingering behind her. Her mind was still fractured, struggling to right itself after the ordeal, and it had her seething.
"..Are you certain you held back enough?" Furina croaked, the normally soft lilt raspy and almost hoarse. "Not– not that I doubt your capability, most Divine!"
Arlecchino felt her nails dig harshly into her palms, heat swelling beneath her skin– Divine? Had she lost her mind? The Divine was..
The Divine was upon their throne where they belonged. She'd seen them!
"Hm. Well, maybe? Sorry, I didn't think it'd affect you too." Their voice was sickeningly soft as they stepped around her like she wasn't even there, focusing their attention on the Archon who seemed more then delighted about it. "What gave you that impression, most Divine? Aha, I..was completely unaffected, as you can see! Perfectly fine."
Furina let out a small squeak when they pinched her cheek, but the almost affectionate smile that tugged at their lips revealed the lack of malice behind the action.
"You're a bad liar, Furina. You might want to sit down..please?" They didn't take her protests for an answer, gently pushing her to sit on the bed before abruptly turning to face Arlecchino once more, a forced smile on their lips. "Oh, good, you're..uh, not dead. That's good. I thought I fried your brain. Sorry?"
..Had she hit her head on the way here? The Divine should still be on their throne, yet she couldn't shake the weight of their stare– it felt tangible. She felt like she was standing face to face with the stars– galaxies and constellations bearing down upon her.
She grit her teeth and clenched her hands until she felt the sting of her nails against her palms, grounding herself in the pain through the sheer overwhelming nature of their existence.
"You.." She croaks, reaching out with a shaky hand and grabbing them by the collar of their shirt, lifting them up until their feet left the floor– she pays no mind to the startled protests of the Archon. Arlecchino would crush her like a bug before she even got the chance to intervene and they both knew it. "You shouldn't exist– you aren't them, and yet you..you're the imposter, aren't you?" Her grip tightens yet they face her without an ounce of fear, meeting her unyielding glare with a pondering look.
Arlecchino wanted to make them bleed just to see if she could, the urge to sink her teeth into skin welling up in her chest to the point she visibly snarled, her mask of politeness long . "You're the imposter." Her expression falls for a moment before she schools it into one of apathy, setting them back down and holding them there for a moment, finally releasing them after a tense moment. "Or you were supposed to be."
Hers brows furrow– she wants to demand answers, to throttle them for damning them to being nothing more then dolls for the supposed Divine to break at their whim, but none of the words come to her.
"..Why now? The current Divine has been in power for years, yet you descend now?" Her shoulders tensed, lips pursed into a thin line– it's impossible to ignore the truth that lay before her. The Divine is a fraud and this..imposter is the true Divine. How many years had they been in power, now? How many years were they waiting? Why did they wait? Was the suffering of Teyvat not enough? Was the blood that painted the steps of their stolen throne not enough?
She'd personally been on the wrong end of the Divine's wrath– she wonders..had they watched? Had they seen the cruel hand of their imposter and turned their back on Teyvat?
"I.." They hesitated. It made her seethe, her hands clenching into fists at her sides– her vision flickered, flames swelling within it's casing just to be smothered by the presence of the Divine. But once that spark had been lit, she refused to let it go out. "I didn't know."
The answer does not satisfy her. There is an itch beneath her skin that she cannot scratch, a fire that burns in her chest so hot it scorches even herself.
"And what about now? Are you content to cower like prey in the safety of the Palais Mermonia?" She snapped, taking a step forward, her brows furrowed and her glare intense– she can see the slightest bit of worry in their eyes. She revels in it. "Will you let them use your acolytes like pawns? How many more need to be broken on the steps to your throne before you act?"
Again, her vision flares and dims– it refuses to be used against the Divine that created it.
"Have you no answer?"
The room is silent. They do not speak and neither does she.
Even the world itself seems to quiet in the face of her accusations, fury boiling to the surface so hot it incinerated all it touched.
"I will kill them myself."
Their words are quiet, but they are not soft– there is a vindictive, searing anger that explodes out like dying stars within their eyes. The sight of constellations replaced by a void that would not be . The smell of ichor grows stronger– to the point she feels almost lightheaded.
"..I am aware that I have failed in preventing this, but I had no choice in the matter. Still," They muse, their voice like the tolling of bells. A solemn melody that stills the swelling fury burning in her chest, if only for a moment. "I will rectify it– I will tear down their throne of lies and let not even the earth tarnish itself by burying their corpse among it's soil."
They pause for a moment, holding out their hand– scarred and bandaged by the weapons of the devout, yet still they take upon the burden of dirtying their hands to save those who did not save them.
"Do you trust me, Arlecchino?"
Did she?
"Will you help me?"
She exhales heavily, meeting the starry iris' of the Divine with a scowl still tugging at her lips. Arlecchino trusted no one but herself.
"..Yes."
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#imposter au#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#arlecchino#lyney#furina#you do NOT wanna know what i got put thru writing this fic#trying 2 find out where arle was in the few times we DO see her and going down a rabbit hole of fuck fontaine and its layout actually!#I spent like 3 hours looking it up and checking in game it gives me a migraine thinking abt it. ew#anyway trying to write a really smart character is surprisingly difficult when ur as dumb as rocks#also used an actual chess match for this and gave myself an even worse migraine trying 2 make sure i didnt repeat moves or smth#furina doesnt get a spotlight yet just imagine her sitting in the corner trembling like a wet kitten you found on the side of the road#arlecchino goes thru a crisis more at 11#shes a tired single dad shes isnt getting paid enough for this okay#hands u a fic over half the length of the other THREE PARTS#ehe :]#is arle actually on ur side??? is she gonna double cross u???? who knows!!!!!#shes unpredictable she might stab u for funsies#anyway im gonna go nap in a ditch now this took SO LONGGGGG OH MY G-D#also just think acolytes who arent buddy buddy w reader and even resent them is so tasty#bc how r they supposed 2 know reader was a human vibing 5 minutes before their got eebied 2 teyvat..#reader gotta roll up their sleeves and get 2 WORK sometimes murder IS okay#they gotta fix some shit around here and that means committing several crimes all at once. sometimes more#a group can be g-d (just got here) their dragon (neuvi) their cat (archon) their dog (wrio) and their wolf (arle)
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If you need help practicing pronouns, try using the pronouns you struggle with on your pets!
Animals have very little understanding of pronouns and human gender. They won't care if you use he, it, she, xie, bun, literally whatever - they only care about you and their food. They'll be fine! However, your loved ones will appreciate your effort in using pronouns, and using them properly. It's a win-win situation!
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#ally advice#and honestly it's you learning more about linguistics which directly benefits you as well!#my cat is not a girl cat or a she like - those are human concepts of gender. she's whatever she Is.#i'll call her a boy cat or a he/him or whatever like she doesn't fucking care#she barely cares when i call her name (which i KNOW she knows#(and like nobody but her vet even needs to know. which i do take her to the vet and she's healthy and i love her so so so so so much <<3)
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mean lesbians. am i right
#you can interpret this caption as zoro rolling his eyes and being like yeah what a fucking witch. lesbians like are u fucking kidding me#or you can interpret it as me telling you that they are both lesbians#zoro's butch lesbianness is at a level no human brain can comprehend tbh#zoro and nami kiss but only to annoy people#you can always find them cuddling like cats in the nearest patch of sunshine#one piece#sep 2023#my art#zoro#nami#zonami
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