#you have such a clear idea of what kind of person you like that the result was obvious
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Two Sides of the Same Coin
Summary: Y/N is an international pop star, adored by millions—and maybe a little too adored. When a deranged stalker, obsessed with her every move, begins killing those close to her, the BAU steps in. Derek and Spencer are assigned as her bodyguards, tasked with keeping her safe until the stalker is caught. Trapped inside her house, none of them are happy about the arrangement, but tensions rise as they struggle with cabin fever—and a growing attraction they can't ignore.
CONTENT WARNINGS: 18+!! MDNI!! This fic is intended for adult audiences. Reader is kind of a cunt but only because she's extremely upset/disturbed by the situation. Mentions of stalking/violence related to the case (not excessive or graphic I promise!!). Oral (both m and f receiving), fingering (f!receiving), overstimulation (f!receiving), crying during sex (f only and it isn't from pain I swear), spit-roasting, protected PinV sex, spanking, mix of praise and degradation. Mean Dom!Derek x Bratty Sub!Reader x Soft Dom!Spencer.
Pairing: Derek Morgan x fem!reader/afab!reader x Spencer Reid
A/N: Basically think the Lila situation but on steroids LMFAO I really enjoyed having you guys vote for the fic and I may do it again soon :') I'll admit, I really enjoyed writing this and stepping out of my comfort zone a bit! I truly hope you guys enjoy this and if you do, please like, reblog, and consider following! <3 Thank you and I love you all!! :)
"You’re fucking joking."
The room was heavy with tension, everyone at the table shifting uneasily as Y/N’s words hung in the air. The meeting had only been underway for 45 minutes, most of which consisted of questions directed at her, trying to gather any information that might lead the BAU to her stalker. When it became clear that she had no idea of anyone who would want to leak her private information, the next bombshell dropped: she'd be stuck at home until they caught the person responsible.
Y/N’s manager, Anna, shoots Hotch a wary look as he clears his throat, his stern gaze never leaving Y/N. "At this moment, it’s a serious safety risk for you to leave your house—not just for you, but for anyone seen with you in public. As a result, SSA Derek Morgan and SSA Spencer Reid will be assigned to stay with you for your protection, and they’ll handle any errands you need until we can apprehend your stalker," he explains once more.
Y/N scoffed, her gaze briefly shifting to Anna before locking back on Hotch. "Really? So... not only am I being stalked by some fucking maniac because someone sold my information to the press, but now I’m trapped at home with two strangers? Two men I just met—what, thirty minutes ago?"
Derek and Spencer both sat up straighter, their expressions hardening as their lips pressed into thin lines. Neither of them was thrilled about the plan. They both insisted to Hotch that their skills would be better used helping the team, not playing babysitter for someone who clearly resented the arrangement. Hotch protested that they could still help from her house while also ensuring her safety, effectively shutting down any further arguments.
"We know this isn’t what you want, hun, but it’s either this or more innocent people—maybe even you—get killed," Anna urged, her hand resting gently on Y/N’s shoulder, offering what little comfort she could.
As much as she hated to admit it, Y/N knew Anna and Hotch were right. But that didn't mean she had to like it. The idea of her stalker thinking they had any control over her—believing she’d cower to some deranged loser who killed innocent people—sickened her.
"We’ll do everything in our power to track down whoever’s behind this," Hotch promised, his voice firm. "Once they’re caught, you’ll be able to go back to your normal life."
"Yeah, because everything’s going to feel normal after being stalked by a murderer," Y/N muttered, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She sighed, her gaze flicking around the table before landing back on him. "Fine. Whatever. Thank you. Anna can show them to the guest rooms. Are we done here?"
The meeting concluded once the rules for her quarantine were set and the safety of her family and friends had been addressed. She was to remain in the house at all times, contact with anyone would be made through a burner phone to prevent her stalker from intercepting any personal devices (which Garcia was already examining for any clues about the leak), and her loved ones would be under close surveillance by the local PD, who had already been notified of the situation.
Once Y/N had stomped up the stairs, Anna took the time to show Morgan and Reid around.
Y/N's house, for a pop star, was surprisingly modest. She didn’t have a sprawling mansion or an army of staff catering to her every whim—just a personal chef (whom she paid very well) and a groundskeeper to handle the lawn care. Anna explained that, even though Y/N was one of the biggest names in pop music, she was incredibly grounded and more down-to-earth than anyone she’d worked with, not to mention fiercely independent.
"No offense, but I’m not exactly picking up on this ‘down-to-earth’ vibe you’re talking about,” Morgan grumbled as Anna trailed behind him and Spencer toward their SUV.
Anna chuckled, nodding as she watched the men grab their bags. “Like I said, that girl is as independent as they come. She’s just frustrated because this situation strips her of that independence and probably makes her feel helpless—which isn’t something she’s used to,” Anna said quietly. “Give it time. I’m sure she’ll ease up on you.”
The next few days quickly showed that Anna couldn’t have been more wrong.
Rather than easing up on the pair, Y/N had begun acting as though they didn’t exist. The only time she left her room was to collect whatever meal Vinny, her chef—an affable older gentleman—prepared for everyone, and to chat with him briefly while he cleaned up before heading out for the night. When she did speak to either of them, it was curt, often laced with sarcasm, and was usually a request to leave the house, which was always met with a hard no.
A week passed with no progress on the case and only a handful of awkward interactions. Spencer knocked on her door several times, offering dinner or a chance to play board games with him and Derek, but each time she turned him down. Morgan stopped pushing as hard to get her to talk. He kept telling Spencer that if she wanted to throw a fit over them risking their lives to keep her safe, so be it.
As the second week dragged on with no significant progress on the case, tension started to build among everyone. Y/N’s remarks had escalated from sharp, sarcastic comments to full-blown arguments—mostly with Derek. She no longer confined herself to her room; instead, she began strutting around the house in the most revealing outfits she could find, knowing full well they flustered Spencer.
With Vinny handling the grocery shopping and Y/N’s house fully stocked with everything they could need, there was no real reason for Reid or Morgan to leave for the so-called errands Hotch had mentioned to get a break from her. Spencer had read and re-read every book he brought with him, unwilling to touch the ones Y/N had. Derek spent most of his time in the home gym or on the phone with Garcia and other team members, eager to contribute from afar.
As for Y/N… well, she was beyond tired of being cooped up in her room all day and decided it was time to take matters into her own hands.
The door creaked softly as Y/N peeked her head into the dark hallway, wincing at the sound before freezing. She held her breath, straining to hear any sign of movement in the house. It was late—just after 11:00 p.m.—and she silently hoped both agents were asleep.
After hearing nothing, she carefully tiptoed down the stairs and into the living room. Just as she was slipping her shoes on by the back door, the light suddenly flickered on, startling her so much she almost lost her balance. Spinning around, she found Spencer standing there in his pajamas, watching her with a wary expression, his face showing signs of exhaustion.
"What exactly are you doing?"
Y/N pressed her lips together, exhaling sharply through her nose as she shifted on her heels. “I… um, I was just going to run to the store. I’m out of—” She faltered, scrambling for a convincing excuse. “—shampoo! Yeah… and I didn’t think it was worth waking either of you up to grab it for me.”
Reid sighed, shaking his head. "Y/N, you know you're not supposed to leave the house, no matter what. Are you really willing to risk your life over a bottle of shampoo?"
"I wouldn’t be risking my life!" Y/N snapped, throwing her hands up in frustration as she stepped away from the door. "It would take thirty minutes tops."
Derek, already awake, had overheard the quiet argument from his room. Curious, he got up and headed down the hall toward the kitchen, pausing to listen. Spencer muttered something else, but it was too soft for him to catch.
Y/N rolled her eyes, releasing an exaggerated sigh before fixing Spencer with a glare that had him swallowing hard. She stepped forward, her chest brushing against his as she tilted her head up. "I’ve been in the public eye since I was seventeen, Doctor. I think I can handle a trip to the store on my own. I’ll even wear a disguise. I just want out of this fucking house," she hissed.
“I get it, Y/N. I really do. But there’s a psychotic stalker targeting anyone who even looks your way right now. We can’t take that risk.” Spencer’s voice was gentle, but his stance was unyielding. Despite how… intimidating she could be, he wasn’t afraid of her.
Morgan rounded the corner, an eyebrow raised as he took in the scene—Y/N and Reid practically nose to nose. He’d caught what she said from the kitchen and decided it was time to step in. “Y/N,” he barked, crossing his arms and leaning against the back of the couch. “Quit giving the kid a hard time. The answer’s no. Not happening, princess. Deal with it.”
Y/N tilted her head, her glare still fixed on Spencer. “And what exactly are you going to do about it? Punish me?” Her voice dropped low, dripping with mockery as she finally turned her attention to Derek, a daring glint in her eyes.
Derek’s eyebrows lifted, a humorless chuckle escaping him that sent a shiver down her spine. He pushed off the couch and closed the distance in two long strides. His hand shot out, grabbing her wrist and yanking her away from Spencer, his voice dropping into a low growl in her ear.
"Maybe I should. Maybe we both should."
Heat surged to Y/N’s cheeks as she glanced up at him, still pressed against his chest after stumbling into him. She swallowed hard, caught off-guard by the dangerous glint in his eyes. Neither of them looked away, both stubbornly refusing to back down.
“What?” Spencer sputtered, his voice laced with incredulity as he finally broke their heated stares. His eyes flicked between them, wide with shock. “Absolutely not! That’s beyond unprofessional—and completely inappropriate!”
"And at what point during this entire babysitting gig has she been professional or appropriate?" Morgan challenged, releasing his grip on Y/N's wrist to throw his hands up in exasperation.
Reid hesitated, opening his mouth to respond, but the words failed him.
"Exactly," Derek said triumphantly. "She’s been a complicated, hard-headed smartass from the second we stepped through that door—" He gestured toward the door with a pointed jab of his thumb. "—and she’s the one who asked for it. I say we give her exactly what she wants."
Spencer gnawed at his lower lip, his expression torn as he grappled with not only the moral implications of what was being offered but also the idea of his best friend and colleague seeing his dick. He shuddered at the thought, then turned his gaze to Y/N, who stood frozen, her expression one of shock—as though she hadn’t considered this could actually happen. "Is that… is that really something you want us to do?"
He couldn’t believe he was actually entertaining the idea. But Morgan wasn’t wrong… she’d been a pain in the ass the entire week they’d been stuck with her. And, despite the attitude, she was undeniably one of the most attractive women he’d ever laid eyes on. Besides, fucking one of the world's most famous pop stars certainly wasn't the worst thing that could happen to him while on a case.
Y/N glanced between the two of them, her gaze flickering before she nodded slowly. "Uh… yeah. It is," she admitted, her voice quiet and subdued—completely at odds with the mouthy, brazen woman she’d been all week.
She couldn’t deny that both of them were devastatingly attractive, and maybe if the circumstances were different then she would have enjoyed their company. It was the fact that they were so good at their jobs that agitated her, successfully keeping her trapped in her own house. As much as she loathed being stuck indoors, she had to give credit where it was due—they were doing everything they could to keep her safe and make her lockdown more bearable. Maybe she had been a bit too hard on them…
"Then go up to your room and wait for us on your bed," Derek ordered lowly. "Naked," he added.
The second she was out of sight, Spencer turned to Morgan, eyes wide with disbelief, and followed him into the kitchen. "Are we really going through with this?" he whispered, pacing back and forth as Morgan sifted through his wallet.
A shameless smile graced his face as he pulled out two condoms, tossing one toward Reid before shrugging. "I am. If you're uncomfortable, you don’t have to do anything. Seriously, kid. No pressure," Derek murmured, his tone reassuring as he noticed the hint of insecurity in Spencer’s expression.
Spencer flinched as the item flew toward him, stumbling back slightly before he crouched to grab the foil packet from the ground, shaking his head.
"It’s not that I don’t want to! I just—Hotch would kill us if he found out, and—"
"Then he won't find out. Simple."
Derek’s voice was calm, the complete opposite of Spencer’s nervous energy. He started toward the stairs, glancing over his shoulder at Reid with a smirk. "You coming, or what?"
Spencer breathed in deeply, releasing the tension with a sigh before nodding and trailing behind him toward Y/N's room.
Spencer wasn't a complete stranger to sex, having had a few short-term relationships that had always fizzled out due to the erratic nature of his schedule. But he didn't have nearly the experience Morgan had. He'd also never had a threesome, something he knew for a fact Morgan had participated in more than once thanks to his ability to overshare and desire to make Reid as flustered as he possibly could.
Derek stopped outside Y/N’s door and turned to Spencer. "Hey," he said softly, drawing the younger man’s attention. "Quit overanalyzing. I can practically see the wheels turning. Just follow my lead, okay? I know you’re a quick learner."
Spencer huffed out a small laugh. "I’ll do my best," he murmured, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to loosen the tension in his muscles.
Morgan clapped a hand on his back reassuringly, grinning. "If it helps, I promise my focus won't be on your dick if that's what you're worried about."
Reid shoved him with an annoyed groan, rolling his eyes as Derek stifled his lighter. Once he composed himself, he opened the door, leading the way into Y/N's dimly lit room. The sight before them had Morgan stopping dead in his tracks, causing Spencer to stumble into his back with a quiet grunt.
There before them, splayed in the middle of her bed, was Y/N. She'd listened to Morgan's instructions, having stripped completely bare. Her fingers traced leisurely up and down the inside of her thigh, and there was a coy smirk on her face as she glanced up at them.
"Finally," she sighed, sitting up as they began to strip out of their clothes. "And here I was thinking I was about to have to take care of myself."
Derek arched a brow, tossing his shirt to the floor. Spencer followed suit, lifting his hoodie over his head and letting it fall to the ground. Y/N watched eagerly as more and more of their skin was revealed, deepening the aching need throbbing between her legs.
"You sure you wanna keep running that mouth of yours?" Morgan chuckled, reaching down to shove his sweats down. The sight sent a thrill through her body as she let her gaze wander down his torso, landing on his hardening cock. Her breath hitched as he wrapped a hand around it, stroking himself once before stepping forward.
Spencer froze as he watched Derek round the bed, tossing his condom onto her nightstand before kneeling on it behind Y/N. His fingers lingered on the waistband of his plaid pajama pants, his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn't help but stare as she shifted up onto her hands and knees, wiggling her ass enticingly in Morgan's direction as she kept her heated gaze locked on him.
"I'm sure—"
Her words were cut off by a yelp, her body jolting forward as a sharp smack sounded through the room. Reid's eyes widened, his cock twitching in his pants reminding him that he was supposed to be taking them off. He quickly sprung back into action, hurriedly stepping out of them.
"Since you're so sure..." Derek mocked her. "Then he'll just have to fill that pretty mouth up until you can use it to be nice."
He motioned for Spencer to move in front of her before pushing the back of her head down, leaving her propped on her elbows with her ass in the air and her head near the edge of the mattress. His hands rubbed up and down her sides, massaging gently as he settled behind her. "If you need us to stop, you just tell us, princess. Got it?"
"Got it," Y/N whimpered softly before another sharp smack landed on her ass. She cried out, savoring the slight stinging left behind from the motion.
Spencer's hand landed on her shoulder, stroking gently before guiding her chin up, waiting for her to lift back up onto her arms. His thumb traced her lower lip almost reverently before he stooped down to meld his mouth to hers in a hungry kiss. The moan that rumbled in her throat only spurred him on, and his tongue prodded at the seam of her lips briefly before he broke the kiss, straightening his back.
"Come on then, sweetheart," Spencer murmured breathlessly, reaching down to grab himself before tapping the flushed head of his cock against her bottom lip. "You heard him."
Y/N's tongue poked out to circle the tip before she moved forward, wrapping her lips around him. A groan slipped from his mouth as she worked her way down his length, adjusting herself to the feel of him in her mouth. She was honestly surprised when she got her first look at both of them—they were big.
Morgan waited until she found a steady rhythm to let his fingers drift down to her pussy, swiftly thrusting two inside of her. Her surprised cry was muffled by her mouthful, and he smirked, cocking his head as he began a brutal pace. "Huh? What was that?" He taunted, palming her ass cheek. "Couldn't hear you over all that gagging you're doing."
Spencer brought a hand up to cup her face as Y/N continued sucking, stroking his thumb along the indention his cock was causing against her cheek. The whine she let out around him was pitiful, but fuck did it feel good. He fought the urge to thrust forward into the warmth of her mouth, letting her keep a pace she was comfortable with.
"It better have been an apology," Derek continued, curling his fingers to stroke the rough patch of nerves inside of her that had her shoving her hips back into his touch. "You certainly owe us one. Doesn't she, Reid?"
Spencer chuckled breathlessly, nodding in agreement. He rested his free hand on the back of her head, keeping the pressure light enough to where he wasn't pushing down but enough for her to register the feeling. "She definitely does," he murmured.
“Then it's settled," Morgan hummed, pulling his fingers out of her dripping core. "Say you’re sorry to us, princess,” he demanded, landing a harsh slap to her ass.
Y/N let out a muffled cry around Spencer’s cock, gagging slightly as the movement pushed her forward. Spencer gently tugged her off of him, groaning at the line of spit drawing a bridge between his flushed head and her swollen lips. He looked down at her expectantly, stroking her cheek as he waited patiently.
“I-I’m sorry!” Y/N sobbed, looking up at Spencer with watery eyes.
If he didn’t know any better, he’d say she almost looked sweet with her flushed cheeks and pouty lips. But he did know better, and he knew that her being such a brat was exactly what landed her here.
“You behave and I promise I’ll take care of you, sweetheart,” Reid murmured, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head before guiding her mouth back onto his cock.
Morgan chuckled darkly from behind her, massaging the tender skin for a moment before reeling back and landing another sharp hit to the same spot. Y/N's noise was stifled by the thick cock currently stuffed down her throat, effectively gagging her in the most erotic way. He repeated the motion, his eyes locked on the way her ass rippled underneath his palm.
"You better be thankful he's here, pretty girl. If it were up to me, you wouldn't be cumming at all tonight because of how you've acted."
That prompted a low whine from the back of her throat, causing Spencer's hips to jerk forward and a whimper to slip from his lips as the vibrations caused pleasure to sear through his veins. Taking it as encouragement, Y/N continued bobbing her head along his length, fighting against her gag reflex each time she took him deep into her throat. It was needy and messy, the sight of her spit dripping down her chin and her smudged mascara enough to make Spencer throw his head back and squeeze his eyes shut so he didn't cum down her throat.
While Y/N was distracted, Derek had reached for the condom he'd set down on her nightstand and slid it on. He shifted behind her to line himself up at her entrance, running the head of his cock up and down her slit before pushing forward.
She instantly keened at the sensation of him filling her up, her mouth hanging open and letting Spencer's length slip out as her eyes squeezed shut.
"Shh, that's it," Reid cooed, stroking her cheek gently with one hand while fisting himself with the other, pumping himself slowly. "You're doing such a good job, sweetheart. God, you're so beautiful."
"Fuck—" Y/N cried out, her body rocking from the brutal pace Derek set.
“I didn’t tell you to stop, princess,” Morgan grunted between thrusts, reaching up to shove her head back down on Spencer’s cock. "And you better not fucking cum."
Tears streamed down her cheeks as she began to bob her head once more, her moans muffled and blended with theirs. She could feel her arousal dripping down her thighs, a physical reminder of how turned on she was from letting the two agents sent to protect her use her, her pussy clenching around him at the thought. The pleasure coursing through her was overwhelming as Derek began to stroke her clit in time with his thrusts, taunting her even further with the orgasm she couldn't have yet.
It didn't take long for Morgan's hips to stutter, ramming into her for a few more thrusts before he emptied everything he had into the condom with a shout. Y/N's body trembled with exertion as she fought her climax with every ounce of willpower she had, wanting to prove to both of them that she could be good. Reid wasn't far behind him, shooting ropes of warm liquid down her throat as he groaned her name over and over, his hips bucking into her mouth sloppily. Morgan rode out his high with a few more weak thrusts before slipping out of her, landing one final slap to her ass with a tired grin.
"I think she's learned her lesson from me," Derek chuckled, gathering his clothes and slipping them back on. "Have at her, kid."
Y/N let Spencer's softening cock slip free from her lips, her chest heaving and face flushed as she fought to catch her breath. The sound of the door closing prompted her to look up at him, her eyes blurred from tears. Spencer smiled softly, moving to hover above her on the bed.
"You did—" Reid kissed her lips tenderly. "So, so good, sweetheart," he murmured as his lips trailed down to her breasts, a soft gasp falling from her lips as his tongue swirled around one of her taut nipples before sucking it into his mouth. "And now—" His words were muffled around her skin. "I'm going to make you cum—" He pulled away, blowing softly on the pert bud before switching to the other. "Over and over and over."
Y/N arched into his touch, tangling his fingers into his hair as his lips moved down her body. "Please," she whimpered, spreading her shaky legs to make room for him.
Spencer took mercy on her, latching his mouth onto her clit and suckling gently before lapping up her essence in slow, hard strokes. A guttural groan fell from her lips as he began to devour her, his own needy moans against her skin pushing her that much closer to her already devastatingly close orgasm. Her hips began to rock against his face as her grip on his hair tightened, incomprehensible babbles of his name leaving her over and over as the pleasure in her stomach coiled tightly.
All it took was the feeling of his tongue prodding against her entrance for her climax to seize her. Wrecked cries filled the room as she thrashed beneath him, her head falling back against her pillows as he continued working her through it.
True to his word, Spencer made her cum another two times after that before finally relenting, pressing a sticky kiss to her forehead before trotting off down the stairs to grab her a water bottle.
When he returned to her room, he gently coaxed her into sitting up and drinking, rambling softly about the importance of hydration after intense physical activity. Too drained to say much, she offered a weak smile and murmured a quiet thank you before handing the bottle back. She then curled up against her pillows, surrendering to the exhaustion pulling at her—but not without asking him to stay.
The next morning, when Morgan and Reid got the call that the stalker had been arrested, they exchanged a small, knowing grin before heading off to share the good news with Y/N. And when she slipped her number into their pockets with a casual "hit me up if you're ever in town" while hugging them goodbye… well, Hotch didn’t need to know about that, either.
Continued A/N's: This took a bit longer to post than I originally planned because I kept coming back to add more whoops I'm so sorry for the delay!! But I hope you guys enjoy it and of course please feel free to let me know what you think! :) <3
REMINDER: I do not give permission for my work to be re-uploaded to any other platforms (c.ai, Tiktok, ao3, etc.) under any circumstances. If you'd like to translate my work, then please just ask me before doing so. I know it sounds whiny, but I (as well as many other fanfic writers) spend so much time on these and it's genuinely not okay to take credit for work that isn't yours. It's insulting and completely unnecessary. If I do see my work uploaded anywhere without explicit permission, I WILL say something.
#Spencer Reid smut#Derek Morgan smut#Spencer Reid x reader x Derek Morgan smut#Spencer Reid x reader x Derek Morgan#Criminal Minds smut#Spencer Reid x you#Spencer Reid x self insert#Spencer Reid x fem!reader#Derek Morgan x you#Derek Morgan x self insert#Derek Morgan x fem!reader
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I follow someone who peaced out of C3 like a month ago, and while she still throws out the occasional post about it, despite mostly running on ✨vibes✨ since pre-Predathos fight. one of her latest takes caught my attention. The wording was a little messy, but the core argument seemed like it might have a point. She’s saying the biggest issue with the story is a lack of internal logic, which makes the characters feel kind of disconnected from their own world and setting. Her main example was the Schism, like, the general idea that the Titans were bad news for mortals should be widely accepted, and they’re dead so they’re not coming back even if the gods leave. She also argues that the idea that the gods would always choose each other over mortals isn’t really backed up by history. Basically, she thinks Bells Hells ignore some of the fundamental structures of modern religion in Exandria, which in turn makes a lot of their arguments about the gods fall apart.
So I guess I’m wondering does it seem like there’s a lack of internal logic to you? C3 is my first campaign, so I’ve been piecing together older lore as I go, and I can’t tell if this is a niche take or if there’s some bigger context I’m missing.
Yes. Or rather, I have a couple of different guesses as to what happened. In short: I think that either Matt wanted to set up a big dilemma and failed to do the worldbuilding to really support it textually; he didn't have a clear vision of what this would be at all (HUGE fucking mistake, like, actually concerning me re: the potential of a 4th campaign level of mistake and I hope it's not that); or, alternately, and honestly right now my guess is that this was the case, he straight up did not think the characters would be such selfish dickbags and thought going in that this would be a clear "we have to stop Predathos" and intended the familial connections within the Vanguard and the scene in Hearthdell to be added nuance to provide some understanding of the Vanguard not as simply mindless evil monsters but people who have genuine grievances that have been exploited by predatory cult leaders, and was not prepared for a campaign where the party immediately took the Vanguard's side.
Religion in Exandria has never been super formalized or organized. Some of this is, of course, that you don't have to like, convert or even attend services if you have a relationship with a god. But as a result, it means that any exploration of religion as hegemonic falls apart. I am not saying religion needs to fit the regular daily or weekly practices many people irl have (depending on one's levels of observance), and those characters whose powers canonically involve a deity often do observe either restrictions (Caduceus's vegetarianism) or have some form of meditative personal worship, but we never see like, a system of worship outside of Vasselheim, and Vasselheim lacks the powers that the real-world pope has (let alone the medieval era pope). Tuldus was forced by his family to pray, but it's never depicted as part of How All Worshipers of That God are expected to behave. This is really the crux of a lot of problems with this campaign - people keep taking very individualized issues - which are real, but individual - and treating them as a sign of widespread oppression that simply isn't backed up by the text. In fact, the biggest case of widespread religiously-involved oppression is the Empire going after worshipers of illegal Prime Deities (as we see with the Schuesters - the parents are arrested, leaving their young children to fend for themselves) - and the biggest case of widespread proselytizing and missionary work is from the canonically theocratic (and ruled by one person for over a millennium) Kryn Dynasty, which, hilariously, might end up even more powerful given that the Luxon - the source of their religion, their philosophy and cultural practices, and their arcane prowess - has been brought up as relevant to the gods-become-mortal plan by the Raven Queen and seems to not be under any threat from Predathos, and might even get more powerful. Vasselheim's colonial efforts, while certainly not defensible, are small potatoes.
The player character's grievances against the gods all boil down to "I prayed to the gods and they didn't make my life better" while failing to consider that a combination of genuinely wild specific personal circumstances (being Ruidusborn; being the child of an elemental-worship cult with terrible instincts and later running a heist on a Vanguard collaborator; being a shadow sorcerer who caught the eye of an evil Vecna-worshipping wizard in need of a host body) are the root cause. It's like. If your parents kick you out for being gay, that's homophobia, but if your parents are part of a cult that blows itself up and you are orphaned as a result that is not systemic oppression, that is a very specific cult and shitty parents. So that fails to really ground them in the setting. Compare to campaign 2, where Caleb wants to ensure the Volstrucker program is brought to light and eliminated - as he says, no more children on the pyre - vs. here, where arguably Laudna and Ashton are opening the door to far more unregulated cult/evil necromancy shenanigans now entirely unmitigated by the gods. At least Imogen will probably end the Ruidusborn I guess, as a side effect completely unrelated to her actual goals (which are, frankly, unclear) In a campaign that talks about tethers, the characters seem untethered to anything - institution, place, even for the most part family, and only loosely to each other, and it shows in their lack of care.
The other part is that yeah, a lot of things that were given to the Mighty Nein and Vox Machina as "things people would know" aren't given to Bells Hells. Now this could have a mechanical basis, namely, no one has much of a formal education and most of them are also not terribly intelligent on their own. However, it does feel baffling that they can't recognize holy symbols, or don't know the story of the titans at the time of the Schism (which...setting aside the many issues with the concept of "history is written by the victors" which is both inconsistently true in the first place and is frequently used in an anti-intellectual manner to undermine historical study that points out such things as historical racism; just because history might be inaccurate that does not mean that wild speculation otherwise is necessarily true, especially since we do know from EXU Calamity that titans did, indeed, intend to side with the Betrayers against mortals at the start of the Calamity). It furthers this feeling, after Vox Machina being relatively educated even in a story that was not as worldbuilding-focused, and the Mighty Nein having multiple research-oriented characters and a party deeply rooted in a rich world, that Bells Hells feel off and adrift and ignorant, especially since they don't even seem to remember history they lived through such as the Apex War.
Honestly, what I think is most interesting actually is that we don't ever get anyone express a motivation based on structural oppression in-game. Ludinus never got over his parents dying in a war where the options for the Prime Deities were leave mortals to die or fight the Betrayers, knowing there will be devastating casualties, but in setting up his elaborate plot he murdered countless people, destroyed through his communing with Predathos the first rebuilt elven society in Western Wildemount, and participated in actual structural oppression within the Dwendalian empire for literal centuries; he cared not for any widespread liberation and would remain on top, as an archmage, after this imagined revolution, which makes it not much of a revolution worth having. Liliana's problems were caused by Predathos, and many of the Vanguard we see are Ruidusborn. The only other Vanguard we really get to talk to are Bor'Dor, who was oppressed on the basis of his religion and preyed upon by the cult; Tuldus, who see above; and various Paragon's Call members who are mostly just following orders and getting paid. And Bells Hells, when they have the audience of Vasselheim and the rest of the world - a golden opportunity to call out the colonialism - fail to bring up Hearthdell.
In the end, the motivations are all personal pain - in many cases, inflicted, in fact, by Predathos and not the gods - or vengeance. I honestly don't know if the narrative is trying to claim there is something deeper, or if it's simply some of the characters and a chunk of the least knowledgeable fans, but yes, the worldbuilding fails to support a morally complex narrative. It fails to debunk that which was established earlier (and indeed makes the fall of Aeor far more sympathetic than when it was introduced during Campaign 2) and fails to establish any widespread harm the gods did that wasn't the result of someone threatening to kill them. I do not think one can meaningfully debate with someone who puts a boot on your throat, presses down, and claims you're the oppressor when you fight back, nor with someone who argues along those lines, and that's all that fans and Bells Hells have ever done. And yeah we might actually make a world with a formalized hegemonic religion as a result of Bells Hells' actions; it just will be a different god, underscoring that this is either motivated by people who don't know what the fuck is going on; or by vengeance rather than justice.
#this one gets maintagged#critical role#answered#anonymous#anyway though it will be fucking funny if the dynasty becomes the main world superpower and the luxon state religion#ludinus da'leth truly keeps losing
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Rejection (Aaron Hotchner x reader)
summary: Being Hotch’s favorite is hard, but when he suddenly asks you out, you don’t really know if you’d like to make things harder for yourself.
tags: fem!tech analyst!reader
note: There will be more parts, not necessarily in chronological order. What do you think, what situations will they find themselves in? Send an ask with your idea, and let’s see what will happen.
At first, it was just a casual and genuinely innocent observation from Spencer. “Have you noticed that Hotch calls only you if he needs something?” he asked one day as he sat between you and Penelope in your little den.
But then this comment spread through the BAU like wildfire, making everyone think back of all the times their boss needed information, and look at that, they all remembered the same detail–it’s not just the fact he was always calling you, it was the fact he always called you by your first name.
And that’s how the constant teasing began. Derek, Emily, JJ and Penelope tormented you, with Spencer occasionally joining to spit out some facts about the both of you, while Rossi targeted Hotch as far as you knew. It was mortifying, really, but you got used to it.
What you still can't get used to is the change in your boss’ behavior. Recently he’s been different, although you can’t quite put a finger on what it is that changed. Sure, maybe he shows up a little more often in your office, strictly when Penelope isn’t around, and he brings you coffee when you’re working late or arrive a little too early as he does.
“How are you holding up?”
You turn your swivel chair around to look at Hotch, who’s standing in the door with an almost worried expression on his face. He sent Penelope home a few hours ago when a case affected her too much, and now apparently it was time for another wellness check in your little office. It’s hard to miss the way he’s flexing his fingers, a clear sign that he’s nervous, although you’re not a profiler, so you remain silent before you say something stupid.
Thinking about his question, you realize one thing. “It didn’t really affect me. Does this mean something’s wrong with me?” you ask him.
His lips part as he takes a shallow breath and thinks about what you just said. For a moment you think he’ll not give you an answer, but then he sits on the edge of your desk and watches you with a small smile. “It only means you’re tough. Look, you said, ‘It didn’t really affect me,’ which tells me it did affect you, just not as intensely as it did Garcia for example,” he explains kindly.
Nodding, you look down at your hands in your lap, but your gaze rises when he bumps his leg into your thigh. You expect him to say something, but Hotch remains silent, and he even acts like he didn’t do anything at all. There is one little thing that’s different, though. That barely visible smirk, the one you’ve all seen before.
Times like this it’s hard to comprehend the extremes in his behavior. He can act like this, so kind and supportive, but he can play rough too, especially when he loses control. And times like that, like a few days ago when he yelled at an agent who tried to take a case from him, you can’t help but think about how he could yell at you any time with you even thanking him.
Because, as pathetic as it might sound, an angry Hotch is simply irresistible. You probably have some issues that should be analyzed, but that’s tomorrow’s problem.
“I often wonder how you all can do this every single day. Penelope told me to brace myself when I arrived, but… It’s hard sometimes,” you admit quietly. “Yet, there are cases that don’t really make me feel anything. I can’t really wrap my head around that.”
His brown eyes soften in sync with his expression, and then his lips curl into a smile. “You’re a good person, never forget that. Not feeling anything might be your brain’s way of protecting you. Either way, if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me,” he tells you as he stands up.
You nod, then return to your computer once he’s heading to the door. But then the sound of footsteps suddenly dies, and when you turn around to see if he has just disappeared into thin air, you find him watching you with a thoughtful look. Your brows furrow in confusion, but you don’t say anything, you just wait for him to spit out whatever’s on his mind.
“Aren’t you hungry?” he asks casually.
It seems like an innocent, regular question between co-workers. The members of the BAU often team up in pairs or bigger groups to grab something, even Hotch joins them for a drink in a bar or dinner in some restaurant nearby. But he has never, ever gone out to eat with someone alone. Maybe with Rossi, but that doesn’t count.
So, it’s no wonder you have to think about the offer. You would be on thin ice, the team already has a little too much fun with the fact Hotch is playing favorites with you. If you have dinner with him alone, they might think you’ve been in some secret relationship all along.
In the end, the rational–or maybe rather paranoid–side of your brain makes the final decision. “Thanks, but I’d rather go home after I finish this,” you say, pointing at your computer.
He nods, and you begin to think he’s about to leave, but then he gulps and takes a deep breath, as if he’s gathering the strength or courage to say whatever’s on his mind. “I have paperwork that can’t wait, but I can give you a ride home after I’m done,” he offers, and there’s a look in his eyes that you can’t quite identify.
“No need, I’ll be fine, but thanks anyway,” you tell him with a forced smile.
The last thing you need and want is Hotch taking you home. He means well, you know that, but you can’t risk being seen by someone who could easily start a rumor. The problem is, he’s almost as old as your dad, so people would talk about your nonexistent daddy issues, and he’s your boss, which would only make things worse.
So far the whole joke about being his favorite is something that stayed within the team, but if it gets out and reaches HR, you’re both done. You don’t want that, but not because of yourself. Hotch is ambitious, he’s insanely good at office politics, and if he wants to be promoted, he can’t be involved in such scandals.
You’re pulled out of your thoughts by the sigh that leaves his lips. He looks almost disappointed, which is something you don’t really understand, because you can’t remember anything that could be even remotely rude. What is his problem? Or is there something he wants to talk about, something he wants to get off his chest?
Before you know it, he closes the door and walks back to you. “I’ve been making offers, and you turn down each and every one of them without hesitation. Why?” You can’t help but give him a confused look, because you have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about. Well, you know, but why does it bother him? “Is it because we would be alone?”
“It’s just… Wouldn’t it be weird?” you ask.
He inhales and exhales slowly before he suddenly crouches in front of you. “Look, there is a chance it will be weird, yes, but why don’t we give it a shot to see, huh? Come on, just you and me. If you’re afraid someone we both know will see us, we can go somewhere away from the usual crowd.”
You tilt your head to the side as you watch him, observing the look in his eyes, the small smile that makes your heart melt, and you simply can’t get yourself to say no to him. “Why?” you ask, although you know the answer, you just want to hear him say it.
“I’m sure I don’t have to spell it out for you,” he says with a boyish smile.
Gulping, you nod. A date. Aaron Hotchner wants to go on a date with you. But he’s your boss, if you started a relationship, there would be the danger of the aftermath of a breakup. Would you really like to risk it? You love this job, you love this team, you love Penelope, losing them wouldn’t be worth it.
You lick your lips as you push your chair back to build some distance. “I really have to get back to work now, and I’m sure Jack would be happy if you got home before bedtime,” you say, even though it hurts to turn down the invitation.
Hotch lets out a disappointed sigh as he stands up. “If you change your mind… you know. Good night.”
“Good night.”
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S.Coups (SVT) | Manifestation crack | 0.7k | gn!reader warnings: dick size discussion A/N: never let me talk to @hanniedream this isn't what i thought i'd be writing today. also why did this turn out so angsty
“What did you do?” Seungcheol’s quiet growling, his no-nonsense tone, doesn’t carry too far in the silent cafe.
“What do you mean?” you ask, sipping the drink you paid for, and slide his own cup closer to him. He’s so enraged that he almost crushes the cup with his grip.
“You know what I mean,” he snarls.
You hum and look out of the window. Perhaps you do, but you want to hear him say it loud and clear. Although maybe not that loud, you don’t need people to start turning your way. It’s revenge but it’s not part of your plan to publicly humiliate him. At least for now. So you clear your throat before he can slam his fist on the table.
“I mean it, Cheol,” you sigh and blink up at him, the picture of innocence, “Whatever do you think I’ve done?”
He sets his jaw, his fists clench and unclench. There’s a fire in his eyes that you know too well. That same fire once was the beginning of your undoing.
“Are you kidding me right now?” he looks like he’s about to hit you but you know he wouldn’t.
“No, I really have no idea what you’re talking about,” you pout your lips only slightly. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. His eyes scan the cafe but you’re sitting in a pretty secluded corner - again, a mercy he doesn’t deserve. He leans closer, gritting his teeth. His muscles bulge with the way his body gets tense. And suddenly despite everything, you find yourself drawn to him. Desiring him.
“My dick is shrinking,” he says, point-blank and without beating around the bush. You almost spit out your drink. He narrows his eyes at you.
“So I guess it’s working,” you snicker and the look in his eyes is priceless.
“You little-”
He never gets to call you whatever he was about to call you, silenced by a curious look from a guy sitting a few tables over. There’s something very satisfying about watching Cheol withdraw back into his seat with fury still ablaze in his gaze.
“How and why?” he growls.
“Art of manifestation,” you shrug and chuckle at the confusion written all over his face, “I know, right? I guess not all of it is a scam.”
“As to why, do I really need to explain?” you quirk a brow at him. He just gives you a very straightforward nod. You roll your eyes. “You’re impossible, Cheol. You’re so annoying, walking around like you own the world. Like everyone needs to bend to you will just because you have a massive dick - oh wait, had a massive dick.”
“What?” he looks ready to pounce at you, and not in the way he usually does, “That’s it?”
“What do you mean that’s it?” you huff incredulously, “Have you ever heard yourself talking? Cheol, you’re lucky nobody’s fucking done this before.”
“You’re so petty!” he spits and buries his face in his hands.
“And you’re so infuriating. Sorry but you need to be humbled, I’m basically doing this for you,” you take another long sip of your drink and feel yourself relax. What’s he gonna do? Only you can help solve his little problem. And he looks sort of adorable being helpless like this.
“What can I do?” he finally whispers. You’d be lying if you said it doesn’t hurt just a little bit that he never spoke this softly to you before, not even in the early hours of the morning when you were both sweaty and breathing heavily after your nightly escapades. No, instead he’d be boasting about how good he made you feel. He deserves this lesson.
“Be a good person. Be nice, be kind, the usual stuff,” you look away but you feel his eyes burning holes through you anyway.
“Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I am nice, just not to you?” he bites back.
“Careful,” you smirk through the hint of hurt, “As you said, I’m very petty and you wouldn’t want your situation to get worse.”
You get into a silent staring contest that you end up winning. But still, somehow, despite it all, you feel like all you did today was prove his point.
You end up getting asked out on a date, as if something inside of Seungcheol broke and he accepted his fate. Not what you expected but sure, why not if he’s on his best behavior. Let’s see where this goes.
#seventeen scenarios#seventeen reactions#seventeen imagines#s.coups x reader#svthub#seventeen x reader#svt scenarios#seungcheol x reader#seungcheol scenarios#s.coups scenarios#drabble#crack
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Phainon with chubby reader headcanons
contents: female reader / fluff and smut / insecurity and comfort / possessiveness / protectiveness / clingy behavior / mentions of marriage / riding / oral fem receiving / 69 position / cockwarming / soft and rough sex / service dom / period sex / aftercare / not suitable for minors
[Mydei version] [back to m.list]
SFW
—You are constantly made to be flustered. No, he won’t spare you any compliments, making sure they’re as poetic and detailed as possible. He’ll go as far as telling you how much he’d worship a statue made in the image of your body, leaving offerings for his ‘goddess’. But even if he can’t sculpt, he’ll gladly paint you if you give him a permission.
—Phainon wasn’t afraid to be constantly touching you, enjoying the physicality of you under his palms; being in public never stopped him from touching you either—he was just more subtle about it. He didn’t mean anything naughty (unless in a right setting), he just liked the fact you were there with him. Having your hip stroked or your waist wrapped with his arm, or even sleeping with his hand under your clothes just to feel your warmth was an everyday thing.
—Whenever you feel insecure, he’s not the one to just say “nah, don’t worry” and some compliment. He much preferred to get to the bottom of your insecurity and talk you through it until you no longer feel as if it was that bad—no matter how many times it takes you to fully solidify the fact in your head.
—Let him buy pretty or flattering clothes for you. One on hand, he didn’t like others having a clear view of your body; on the other hand, he wanted your shape to be enhanced and decorated—especially for others to agree with him that he’s indeed a lucky man.
—Phainon loved to take you to swimming sessions, somewhere by more isolated pools. His favorite part was you lying next to him on the blanket, the sun warming your skin, your body in a swimsuit and him having an excuse to spread open kisses onto your uncovered skin. You’ll make his heart flutter a lot if you giggle happily.
—Please let him rest on your stomach. He really liked taking a nap with him between your thighs, wanting an occasion to feel your soft body under him. You probably will feel ticklish with his warm breath teasing your skin, but he’ll fall asleep into a nap very quickly.
—All kinds of bodies were worshipped on Amphoreus, but should anyone end up spilling unpleasantries for your ears to hear you’ll have nothing to worry about. He’ll make sure to call out this person, not afraid to embarrass them in public either.
—Did I mention how clingy he is? On top of that, you’ll hear “I love you” on every occasion possible.
—Phainon knew you two should get to know each other well first. However, the ideas of marriage will fill his head rather quickly just in the beginning of your relationship… simply because he had feelings for you a long time before, and probably chased you for just as long.
—Teasing was just a big part of his personality. That’s why he liked to act like he’s your husband already, with that being done in front of others (it’s beneficial to him anyway, as no other man will think you’re an option anymore). Other form tease came from his touch you in small amounts throughout the day, just to get bit breathy and thinking of him.
Not to mention asking things such as “and who’s this pretty girl, huh?” or “what would you do if I was to kiss you all of the sudden?”—all whispered right into your ear, leaving him with a satisfied flicker in his eyes at your provoked tremble.
NSFW:
—He’ll set any warm and fuzzy setting you wish to have. Candles, essential oils, massage oil? You’ve got it. Sex wasn’t some mindless or animalistic ritual to him. He wasn’t using you, he was making love to you.
—You’re being fondled everywhere and I mean everywhere. He’ll become a whiny creature if he has to separate his hands from your body for even a second. It’s like during the day where he can’t keep his hands away from you, with a difference that this time it’s done in a really desperate and erotic way.
—He loved when you get on top of him. Any weight was enough for him to handle; he loved to see your beautiful body being exposed when you were sitting on him. He’ll squeeze and knead your flesh, while spilling out praises and encouragements.
—Every part of you was sweet, that’s why your pussy was no different. Phainon couldn’t get enough of eating you out on everyday basis, sometimes even stopping you in the middle of something just to drop down on his knees to pleasure you. You’re cooking? Great, turn off the stove for a moment and turn around to face him, before you spread your legs for him to sit between. It will be a perfect argument for him to touch and feel your thick thighs.
—69 position was arguably one of the best in his humble opinion. He could feel the weight of your body, the flesh of your chub against him on the bed; while you both exchange the beautiful act of mouthy-pleasuring like two true lovers. He’d service you anyway, yet he adored you wanting to make him feel good as well. Really, you were growing more and more lovable to Phainon everyday.
—Another perfect position was you both on your sides, with him either behind you or in front of you. He’ll hold you regardless, wanting sex to be something more than just fucking. He craved the intimacy with you… which of course didn’t mean he didn’t get rough with you occasionally, especially if he stared at you throughout the day than usual and needed to release his tension.
—Romantic gestures didn’t have to be cliche. One of his idea was you cockwarming him to sleep, in case cuddling wasn’t enough.
—Forgive him if he sometimes sounds too loud (high pitched even) or if he squeezes your hand too tightly (an intimate gesture he couldn’t deny himself of). It’s just that every time you laid each other on your shared bed, he was becoming a man thirsty, desperate and weaker than ever…. you’ll kill him too if you choose to be same amount of loud or squeeze violently around his cock. Perhaps you’ll force loud vulgar words from his mouth as well.
—He didn’t care if you or someone else found it nasty, he wouldn’t mind sleeping with you during your bleeding. It’s just a matter of placing a towel under you for him. He’ll gladly help you with your cramps by pushing orgasms out of you, and the fact you’d let him trust with your body even on your vulnerable time of the month made him feel a step closer to you. It’s just another way of him fully accepting you.
—Aftercare was as intense as possible. You need water? He’s already on his way. A towel was ready next to the bed. If you feel cold, he’ll keep you warm or help you dress up. Any soreness you had, he’ll gladly massage (and feel your plumpness with that). Not to mention all the pretty praises you’ll hear, even through your ears ringing post-orgasm.
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The Regulars Should’ve Known
Pairing: John "Soap" MacTavish x Civilian!Reader
Warnings: Mild swearing, alcohol consumption, Soap being a relentless flirt, and pub regulars being tired of his antics.
Author’s Note: This idea was too good to pass up. Soap, the local pub’s charming menace, meets the one person who actually stays—and suddenly, the regulars don’t know what to do with themselves. This is based off of the First Meeting HC and this ask someone gave me about the HC.
Masterlist
MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+
The Moment Soap Stood Up, the Bets Began.
It was like watching a rerun of the same episode, the kind you could practically recite the lines to before they were spoken. John MacTavish, resident heartbreaker and relentless flirt, set down his pint with that all-too-familiar glint in his eye. His target? You—a new face, tucked away at the corner table, sipping your drink in peaceful solitude.
The regulars shared knowing looks. Coins discreetly exchanged hands, murmured predictions rolling through the pub.
- “She’ll be gone in fifteen.”
- “Twenty, tops. He’s got a good opener, but she doesn’t look the type.”
- “Might let him buy her a drink, just to be polite.”
- “Nah, she’s definitely walking away.”
Behind the bar, the bartender sighed and shook his head. Poor lass.
---
“New in town, are ya?”
The voice—smooth, rich, and unmistakably Scottish—cut through your quiet. You looked up from your glass, finding yourself face-to-face with a man who looked like he belonged in trouble.
Short-cropped mohawk, blue eyes that crinkled at the edges, a jawline that could probably cut glass. His grin was easy, practiced—but not insincere. The kind of grin that had likely charmed its way out of a lot of bad decisions.
You arched a brow. “Is it that obvious?”
“Aye, ‘fraid so.” He leaned against the chair opposite you, one hand still cradling his pint, the other resting on the backrest like he’d already decided he belonged there. “I know all the faces ‘round here. Yours? Far too bonnie to forget.”
You huffed a small laugh, shaking your head. Smooth.
“Johnny,” he continued, offering his hand. “But most call me Soap.”
Your fingers brushed against his as you took it, warmth bleeding into your skin. “Soap?”
His smirk widened. “Aye. Long story, but I promise it’s a good one.”
You cast a glance toward the bar. A few of the men there were watching—not obviously, but with enough interest that it was clear they’d seen this before. One even shook his head slightly, as if to warn you.
You turned back to the man in front of you. “Let me guess—this is usually the part where they either leave or go home with you?”
Soap had the audacity to *look impressed.*
“Clever girl,” he mused, tilting his head. “But that depends. Are you plannin’ on leavin’?”
You studied him for a long moment. Normally, you would have. Normally, you’d roll your eyes and wave him off.
But there was something different about him. Maybe it was the way his grin softened at the edges, how there wasn’t a hint of frustration in his eyes at your teasing, just a glimmer of intrigue. Maybe it was the fact that he seemed… genuine, beneath all that swagger.
You took a sip of your drink, set it down, and smirked.
“Alright, Soap. Let’s see if you can actually hold a conversation.”
The delighted gleam in his eyes could’ve lit up the whole damn pub.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he grinned, leaning in, “you have no idea what you’ve just started.”
---
The Regulars Were Not Prepared
At first, they watched, waiting for the inevitable moment you’d excuse yourself.
But then—
You laughed. Laughed.
Not the awkward, polite kind. Not the “Oh, you’re funny, but I’m still leaving” kind. No, it was a real laugh, one that had you covering your mouth, eyes crinkling in delight.
Soap looked like a man who had just won the lottery.
He leaned in, elbows on the table, completely absorbed in whatever you were saying. His usual, practiced flirtations took a backseat to something else—genuine engagement. His brow furrowed when you spoke, his lips parted like he was actually listening.
The regulars exchanged stunned glances.
One of them groaned and slapped a fiver onto the bar.
“Did not see that coming.”
---
Two Nights Later
They should’ve known something was up when Soap walked into the pub with his hands full.
Not full of drinks. Not full of mischief. No, his arm was slung around your shoulders, pulling you close like he’d never not done it before.
And you—the same person they had all bet wouldn’t last twenty minutes—were laughing, tilting your head back as Soap nuzzled into your neck, murmuring something low and teasing against your skin.
The pub went silent.
The bartender nearly dropped a glass.
Soap strolled in like he owned the place, barely even sparing them a glance as he steered you toward his usual table. When he pulled out your chair, you rolled your eyes but took the seat, nudging his thigh playfully as he plopped down beside you, his hand settling absentmindedly on your leg.
“Oi, Johnny,” one of the regulars called, voice laced with disbelief. “You forget somethin’, mate?”
Soap barely glanced up from where he was tracing slow circles against your knee. “Hm?”
“The part where she *never comes back.*”
That damn smirk tugged at his lips, but it softened as he turned to you.
“Aye, well,” he murmured, gaze warm, *soft*, full of something even the pub’s brightest lights couldn’t match. “Guess I finally did somethin’ right, then.”
Your cheeks warmed under his gaze, and for a moment, you thought about teasing him. But instead, you reached for his hand, threading your fingers through his.
“You really did,” you murmured back.
His thumb brushed over your knuckles, slow and reverent, like he still couldn’t believe you were real.
The regulars, collectively speechless, exchanged looks before someone finally sighed, lifting their glass in defeat.
“Well, lads… looks like the first round’s on us.”
The regulars paid up, grumbling into their drinks as pints were passed and wagers settled. But Soap? He didn’t care. Not about the lost bets, not about the stunned looks. The only thing he cared about was you.
Because two weeks later, he was still walking into the pub with you tucked under his arm, your hand casually resting on his chest like you belonged there.
Because a month later, you were waiting for him at the bar with his drink in hand, smiling up at him as he pulled you in for a quick kiss—right there, in front of everyone—before settling into the seat beside you.
Because six months later, Soap wasn’t prowling the bar for company anymore. He was already looking at you like you’d hung the bloody stars.
Your relationship wasn’t built on fleeting glances or empty flirtations. It was in the way he pulled you closer at night, mumbling half-asleep praises into your hair. In the way you learned his tells—how his knee bounced when he was anxious, how he rolled his shoulders when something was weighing on him. It was in the way you reached for him first, and how he always reached back.
Soap had always been a lover, but with you, it was different.
With you, it was real.
And the pub? Well, the regulars had long since stopped betting against you.
Hope you enjoyed! Please consider liking and reposting! -Midnight💜
#x reader#141 x reader#tf 141#task force 141#tf 141 x reader#cod 141#mw2 141#task force 141 fanfic#141#tf 141 x you#tf 141 headcanons#soap mactavish x reader#soap mactavish#soap x you#john soap mctavish x reader#john soap mactavish x reader#soap x reader#soap call of duty#soap cod#soap mw2#john soap mactavish
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next // previous
october 1, 2021 4:15 p.m. grant's house
[juhani] hello? grant, can i call you tomorrow? it’s late.
[grant] no, you can’t. i know it’s 11 o’clock where you are right now, and i don’t really care. you answered, so you’ve trapped yourself.
[varpu, faintly] juha, if you don’t talk now, he will never call you back.
[juhani] i want to speak with you, of course i do, it’s just–
[grant] fantastic, because that’s what we’re doing. we’re talking! i have 30 years of stuff to get off my chest, and i'm sure you have your own piece to share. not sure where to start, but.
[juhani] may i ask you a question? what did you overhear at dinner the other night? are you upset i'm moving? is that it?
[grant] i mean, that stung a little after the whole “i’ll be around to build a relationship with you,” thing, but i gave you my express permission to go home, so it’s whatever. we are both adults, so i am not going to fault you for making adult decisions that improve your life. i'm more upset by you claiming you didn’t tell me about your plans or include me in the moving and wedding stuff and whatever because i'm difficult.
[juhani] that’s not what–
[grant] oh, come on. don’t kid yourself. you said it yourself, anything involving me is like pulling teeth. i heard it loud and clear.
[juhani] well, when i tell you things, you never react well. it always goes precisely like this conversation is going.
[grant] really? never? because i remember being pretty positive about your proposal and about you contacting me in the first place and about coming to dinner to acquaint myself with varpu’s kids and about meeting varpu a while back…
[grant] what i react poorly to is you leaving me out, you calling me difficult, you complaining about me in front of impressionable people, etcetera.
[juhani] i don’t want to leave you out.
[grant] that’s what varpu said, too, but i didn’t believe her, so why would i believe you?
[juhani] i have no idea how to interact with you. i've apologized to you, told you i regret the events of your childhood. nothing works.
[grant] do you regret it? because it kind of just feels like you’re doing the same shit again. abandoning me for your own self-interests. oh, and this time you’re replacing me with a brand new family you treat better.
[juhani] i'm not repl–okay, what would you prefer me do when you push me away? you told me i was difficult.
[grant] when did i say that? i mean, that's true, sure, but i would not say that to you. what i probably said that you’re misconstruing is that talking to you is hard because i'm not comfortable around you.
[juhani] and how long will it take you to be comfortable around me? i don’t know what else you want me to do. truly, i don’t, and it is not pleasant to be rejected endlessly.
[grant] well, i'd have to forgive you, but i don’t. if forgiveness was meant to happen, it would not be instant. you’d have to keep trying with me, even if i piss you off, even if i push you away. you’re my fucking father, it’s your job. you show up for your kid even if they’re horrible or annoying. you never turn your back on them. but, you know, you didn’t show up for the first 22 years you were around, so you’d have to try extra hard now to change my mind.
[grant] but honestly, i will never be comfortable around you. i've realized that over the last few days. i did actually think if you just kept trying, i'd relax and be less on edge, but nope. you could become an honest-to-god saint tomorrow, and i'll still be furious because nothing will make me understand why you couldn’t have been a decent person when i was a kid. like, when i needed you.
[grant] and i don’t get why you weren't. i don't. i'm serious. i can’t comprehend it. clearly, you have it in you to be a decent person. you love varpu's kids. you're fatherly towards them. you take them on vacation, you invite them to house and wedding venue tours, you tell them about and include them in your hobbies, you remember details about them, you smile at them without being forced, you go to their weddings and don’t flip out about them being queer even though you were viscerally disgusted with me when you found out–
[juhani] you shouldn’t bring them into this. it isn’t fair. and i've taken you on vacation before, for one.
[grant] i am being petty, but i think it's fair because i'm not shitting on them specifically. and yeah, okay, you took me on vacation once. you took me to finland exactly once, but i never met your family, and i remember nothing other than the plane rides.
[grant] and you shouldn’t do this. we don’t need to split hairs. you don’t need to crawl through that list of grievances and “well, actually” me as many times as you can manage. one vacation changes nothing. that does not erase all the times you sat there like a lame duck and ignored me or mocked me or let my mother abuse me. there is nothing for you to pat yourself on the back about.
[grant] nothing.
[juhani] so, what are you upset about now?
[grant] why?
[juhani] why what?
[grant] why are you like this? why were you a terrible father? why have no heart for me or my sisters? why did you save all your love for someone else’s kids?
[grant] oh, and how about cerise? you sure didn’t care about your bastard kids either, did you?
[grant] shit. i'm sorry. that just kind of came out. that’s not how i wanted to, you know, pepper that into this conversation. i was going to save that for the end.
[juhani] how do you know about her?
[grant] doesn't matter. it's a long story.
[grant] on that note, what is up with the secret daughter? how’d that happen? is she the only one, too, or should i be on the lookout for any other siblings? and hey, you only divorced my mother in the last few years, so you were cheating. how many times did you fuck around on her, and why would you? you wouldn’t divorce her because you were afraid of her, but apparently it's no big deal to cheat.
[juhani] grant, how can i answer you if you don't allow me to talk? cerise’s mother michelle is a doctor. your mother and i were both at a conference in detroit about healthcare outreach, and…
[juhani] i know it seems contradictory, given how long i stayed with your mother, but i was unhappy in the marriage. i met michelle there at the conference, and she was kind and intelligent, and i suppose the rest of the story should be obvious to you.
[grant] goddamn, man. i hate my mother, but that’s bold: sleeping with another woman right in front of her face.
[grant] did she ever find out?
[juhani] eventually. you remember how she was with the finances. she tracked all the money going in and out of the household. you couldn’t have one cent go missing without being accused of something, and she’d always blame it on some incident with her brother and start ranting about him.
[juhani] look, the agreement with michelle was that i'd stay out of her life and send child support, and she wouldn’t interfere with my family either. i used to lie and tell your mother the child support funds were going somewhere important, but she didn't believe me very long. she did finally question me and find out the truth.
[grant] and?
[juhani] in hindsight, her reaction reminds me a lot of the one she had when you lashed out at her during your graduation dinner. very little left her speechless, but that did. initially, i should clarify. she would go on to never let me live cerise’s existence down.
[juhani] and to answer your question, as far as i know, cerise is the only other child.
[grant] as far as you know?
[juhani] i cannot rule out further surprises.
[grant] jesus christ. my grandmother is right, all men are dogs, but you most of all.
[juhani] does it upset you that much?
[grant] again, i don’t like my mother, but if i needed any more proof that you’re more spineless than a sea sponge, this is it. you were so unhappy with my mother that you’d cheat on her, but you’d not divorce her when your kids were vulnerable.
[grant] you disgust me. you slept around and thought with your dick before you spared a single thought for the kids you let my mother abuse. or for yourself! fuck you. if you’re going to be that selfish, at least be selfish enough to prioritize yourself and leave the woman making you that miserable!
[grant] and now i don’t believe you when you say you wouldn’t leave her back then because you were scared of her. do you seriously mean to tell me it’s less terrifying to cheat on her than to just walk out of the house and never come back?
[grant] i did that, you know? when i'd had enough of my mother, i told her as much and then never spoke to her again. and guess what? wouldn’t you be so stunned to find out she’s never tracked me down, never tried to call or email to reel me back in? she left me alone after i told her to go fuck herself!
[grant] and technically, you know it's possible to leave her, too. what did you say about the divorce? that she just rolled over and let you do it and was fine with you just coughing up all the assets and dipping?
[grant] exhibits A, B, and C that she’s a coward, too. she thinks she’s the boss, but if you fight back hard enough, she gives up. you could have left her at any point in time.
[grant] god. oh my god. you stupid, spineless motherfucker. i thought i'd maxed out on anger. apparently not!
[grant] you really could have been a better father. you could have had your whole little life overhaul decades ago, and you could have saved the entire family so much pain. you, me, elizabeth, kelly…
[grant] i should have suspected as much, and i guess i did, but it's shocking to realize over and over just how useless you are as a father. i think it can't get any worse and then it does. you are a complete and utter failure as a parent.
[grant] this is why i can’t forgive you. you didn’t have to mess up so badly. but no. whatever you got out of the relationship was enough to convince you to sit there and watch my mother ruin all of us, and even thought you weren't happy with her, you got by with fucking other women and only regretted staying a billion years later when you noticed you had nothing of substance left in life but my mother. and that’s a pretty depressing way to live, isn’t it?
[juhani] i stayed because i thought we deserved each other.
[grant] with that attitude, maybe you did.
[grant] listen, i'll admit this, no problem. it’s no one’s fault that she is the way that she is. it’s not even yours. she’s abusive, and what she does to other people is her fault and her responsibility. she’s excellent, too, at convincing you to just go along with it and never question her. it's not that hard to get caught in her trap at first, and she will try her very best to break you. but at some point, you have to question anyway. at some point, you have to recognize you deserve better and do something about it.
[grant] but you didn’t. not until it was too late for it to mean anything.
[grant] i would never think i've done everything right, but in the end, i've respected myself enough to make better choices and do something about the situation i was in, and i've had to do that because the adults in my life weren’t responsible or organized enough to fix things before responsibility fell into my hands.
[juhani] you are a braver and a better man than i.
[grant] i'm glad i am, but do you know how exhausting it is to be brave all the time?
[grant] i am because you weren’t. it is entirely because you failed. you weren’t brave enough to give a fuck about yourself or your kids, so i've had to be brave my entire life. brave enough to survive my childhood, then brave enough to leave. and guess what? i don’t want to be brave. i just want to exist. and back then, i just wanted to be a kid.
[grant] just a kid.
[grant] i wanted to come home from school and play with my pokemon cards and hear my mom and my dad say, “hi honey! how was your day? we love you!" i didn’t want to live in fear of what horror would befall me each and every day.
[grant] fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. you stole my childhood. you stole elizabeth’s childhood. you stole kelly’s childhood.
[grant] you and my mother, but you could have done something. you could have given us our childhoods back. you could have done something! you should have done something!
[grant] you didn’t have to do everything right even. parents mess up, i know that, but you could have at least tried. the bar was on the floor. i would have over the moon living in a single parent household with a father who at least showed up to my hockey games if he wasn’t busy at work and gave me a hug every once in a while.
[grant] and you know what, you did more than steal our childhoods. because you couldn’t stand to sacrifice your comfort long enough to take care of your kids, we all have to live in permanent hell. i have to spend the rest of my life freaking out when someone walks up behind me or speaks too loudly or–god forbid–touches me! it took me years to finally learn not to flinch when someone high fives me! and kelly–i don’t know what she deals with, but i know her life can’t be peaceful.
[grant] again, i am not blaming you for what my mother did–i know she was not kind to you either– but i do blame you for not even trying to stop her or get away from her. you were an adult with power, and you didn't use an ounce of it. actually, you did use it, just not for good. you threw me specifically under the bus because it was easier to let my mother use me as a punching bag than you.
[juhani] you’re right.
[juhani] you’re right, grant.
[grant] i have nothing else to say, short of "fuck you" again. i think i'm done yelling at you.
[grant] no, wait, one last thing. what did you even see in my mother in the first place? what was so enticing about her that you’d stay with her so long and ditch your college sweetheart for her?
[juhani] i don’t know. i don’t know anymore.
[grant] i guess it was two people drawn to each other's misery.
[grant] great. well, that’s all, folks.
[grant] good luck with the new family. maybe you can make it right with someone else and enjoy a totally fresh start because you will never make it right with me, and i will never let you forget what you did to me and my sisters. and don’t lose varpu again, by the way. she is, like, far out of your league–so far it's not even funny–and you are lucky to have this second chance with her and to have a good relationship with her kids.
[grant] also, just so it's clear, i don't want to speak to you anymore after this. don't call me, i won't call you either, except in one circumstance. i'll consider it on the day my mother kicks the bucket. we can toast to the end of that chapter of our lives and hope that the haunting ends. because surely you have to feel a little haunted, too, right? i have a sinking suspicion that’s why you reconnected with me. you don’t care about me. you care about that fresh start, about making yourself feel better about wasting your life and fucking up everyone around you.
#ts4#the sims 4#sims 4#sims 4 story#sims 4 storytelling#simblr#hlcn: everything the stars promised#holocene.docx#holocene.png#hlcn: grant#hlcn: juhani#hlcn: varpu#TADA#grant delivers the verbal smackdown of the century to his father: scene complete#it's quite satisfying#also snarky/angry/etc. grant is soooooo rare to see and write#he's usually pretty demure and cagey about things or just plain old polite but he is indeed grandma aoife's grandson#if and when he wants to he can snark like a champion#okay some actual serious analysis now#some of this conversation is retreading the same old ground and not making any huge revelations#like i think we all know and grant knows that his father really failed him and did not take the opportunities to do the right thing#and we know that he is selfish that he is just out to protect his own comfort without rocking the boat#but actually hearing grant tell his father how badly he fucked up and how badly he harmed grant and his siblings IS the big deal here#grant had his 'i'm done' moment at that college graduation dinner but this is the most sincere one#this is him really expressing at last how he feels and not just letting that angry kid out of the cage#i mean the angry kid is out of the cage here but there is some real processing of emotions and regrets and such on top of that#ANYWAY i am curious to hear your thoughts on this#*end lengthy author's note*
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More of You- Chapter 8
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
WC: 2.3k Rating: 18+ for eventual smut, MDNI Series Masterlist | Blog Masterlist Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Tags: No outbreak!AU. Coffee shop meet-cute with a slow-ish burn. Sickly sweet fluff, some angst and eventual smut. Joel is 42, reader is mid 30s. Sarah is 19. No use of Y/N, minimal descriptions of reader. She has hair long enough to tie back, wears skirts and dresses, blushes and wears makeup.
A/N: Soft, sweet, domesticated girl dad Joel is my favourite type of Joel. This chapter gave me the warm fuzzies, and was so much fun to write, despite life really getting in the way while I was trying to write it. I hope you enjoy!
You’d barely made it through the door that day when your phone had buzzed; Joel making sure you made it home okay. You texted on and off that first day, insides swooping whenever his name popped up on the screen, biting your lip to keep from grinning too hard.
The smile that filled his face the next morning when he saw you waiting for him outside Harrison’s made your stomach flip. He greeted you with a low “hey, darlin’”, and a gentle touch to your arm before he opened the door for you to walk through. When you suggested taking your coffees to go for a walk, he agreed on the condition that you let him pay for them.
You caught a glimpse of a photo of a little girl pasted inside his wallet. She looked no older than seven, little face grinning from the middle of a mass of wild curls, clutching the stick of a huge toffee apple between mittens shaped like cats.
“Cute kid,” you said with a smile, pointing to the photo. Joel glanced down at his wallet and smiled back at you.
“My daughter, Sarah,” he said. Your surprise must have shown on your face- a sheepish look crossed his features and he snapped his wallet shut and shoved it in to his pocket.
“She’s nineteen now. Off at college, all grown up.”
“Oh wow,” you countered, tilting your head and eyeing him curiously. It suddenly struck you that you had no idea how old he was. “You must have had her pretty young?”
Joel nodded, plucking both coffees from the counter and handing you one.
When you were back out on the street you both fell in to step together. You thought for a moment that he would change the subject. It would have been easy now that you were outside, but after a sip of coffee and a deep exhale he cleared his throat.
“I was pretty young when Sarah was born,” he said, fingers tapping against the side of his cup. “Too young to really know what the hell I was doing. Her mom and I… We, um.” He glanced to the sky, as if asking for help from the almighty to explain. He paused and eventually settled on “it’s just been me and Sarah since she was eight.”
You made a ‘hm’ sound and nodded, waiting to see if he would offer up any further information, but he didn’t. You hadn’t expected him to share something so personal so soon, and it seemed like he hadn’t expected it either.
Since she was eight. You let the words settle between you. Joel had been a single dad for eleven years. That meant eleven years of school runs, birthday parties, scraped knees and tantrums. It meant being the only one to check under the bed for monsters, being the only one she came to when she was sad or scared or angry, late nights when she was sick and there was no one else to take turns with to care for her. Eleven years of making every single decision, and being the one she relied on completely for everything.
You tilted your head to study him, and fully understood the reason behind the underlying exhaustion on his face for the first time. It was the kind of tired that never really went away, the kind that came from years of putting someone else first. On top of all of that, he looked worried. Worried that now he’d admitted his past, you’d reject anything to do with him because of it. You were surprised, but it wasn’t in a bad way. Something deep in your chest ached for him, but he didn’t seem like the kind of man who would want your pity.
“What’s she studying?” You said casually, before taking a sip of coffee.
“Huh?”
“Sarah,” you clarified, “at college. What’s she studying?”
Relief changed Joel’s whole demeanour in an instant; he lifted his head and straightened his shoulders. The way his face lit up was so endearing.
He told you all about Sarah’s sports scholarship in Dallas, that she wants to be a physiotherapist, has been dead-set on it since she was little, that she knew she couldn’t play soccer forever, but still wanted to be around it. How hard she worked to get in to college, how he’d made sure that she never missed a soccer game no matter how busy or tired they’d been over the years. You grinned while you watched him talk about her, about how proud he was of her, and how he’d supported her through the years. Your chest swelled at how simply he said it, like there wasn’t even an alternative in his mind.
You beamed at him, “It sounds like you’re a great dad, Joel. Sarah’s really lucky.”
He shrugged, trying to hide a blush. “I’m the lucky one, she’s a great kid.” He looked down at the lid of his cup, fingers dancing around the edge of the plastic. “I miss her.” He admitted after a beat.
If this man got any sweeter, you were going to scream.
Joel cleared his throat and changed the subject, asking how your work was going and whether you’d caught up after your time away. He didn’t offer up any more information about Sarah’s mom, and you didn’t ask.
You’d been talking about music as you wandered for the last half hour, and it turned out you had very similar tastes. Every time one of you mentioned a favourite artist or album, the other would light up in recognition, unearthing little snippets of common ground. Joel told you all about the guitars he planned to build when he had some free time, the kind of wood he liked to use, the care that went in to shaping the body just right, the satisfaction of stringing it for the first time and hearing it sing. It made you wish you’d stuck with music a little longer, if only to understand that feeling. You told him all about the failed music lessons you’d taken as a kid, and your trial-and-error approach to creative pursuits through the years until you’d found one that really spoke to you.
The conversation kept flowing as naturally as it had from the start as you dipped between little stories from your lives, getting to know one another in the best way. You’d both agreed to do a loop of the park before heading back; your coffee was long gone but it seemed that neither of you were keen to part ways.
By the time you walked through the park gates, you were walking so closely together that your fingers kept brushing against his. Each time it happened it felt as though sparks were jolting up your arm.
You figured you could easily close the last little space between you and slip your hand into his. The thought crossed your mind more than once and your fingers twitched with the want to try. But you didn’t. Because that would mean acknowledging that you were drawn to this man whether you wanted to be or not.
And then Joel’s pinky curled around yours. Hesitantly, like he was feeling the same pull and trying to meet you halfway. Your stomach swooped as you glanced down at where your fingers were joined and let out a tiny, surprised huff.
Maybe, just this time, you could accept something sweet and not overthink it. So you did.
Slowly, you turned your hand and laced your fingers properly with his. His skin was calloused but warm, and his hold was gentle, as though giving you the opportunity to pull away. You tightened your grip and glanced up at him, watching his expression shift from surprise to something soft, filled with fondness. He exhaled, a little shaky as you both fell in to step again.
“I was wonderin’,” he started, his thumb tracing idle strokes over your knuckles. “Whether you’d want to go out sometime?”
“Yeah, I’d like that,” you said, covering your sudden breathlessness with a laugh, “We could maybe even go somewhere that isn’t a coffee shop.”
Joel looked down at you and chuckled. “I ‘spose we could,” he said, squeezing your hand playfully. “How about I take you out to dinner?”
You grinned and squeezed his back. “Dinner sounds great.”
He nodded, looking relieved, although he hesitated for a beat, as if weighing his next words.
“And, uh, I got these tickets,” he said, glancing over at you, “to a gallery openin’ down town. Wondered if you’d wanna go with me?”
Your brows lifted in surprise. “A gallery opening?”
Joel nodded, “Yeah. My firm worked on the place, so they sent me an invitation. Figured it might be somethin’ you’d like.”
It was such a thoughtful gesture it made your knees weak.
“I really would like that.” you said, trying to hold back your excitement.
You used the fountain in the park as your turning point for heading back the way you’d come and you revelled in the fact that Joel seemed like he was letting himself relax a little into this - into you.
“So, when is this big fancy gallery opening?” You asked,
“Friday night,” he said, tilting his head and squinting over, “that work for you?”
You hummed in the affirmative and he said he’d send you a photo of the invite once he got to the office, so you had all the details.
“I should tell you, I don’t know a ton about art,” he said, nudging his shoulder gently against yours, “I just helped make sure the walls ain’t gonna fall down. You’ll have to help me pretend that I know what I’m talkin’ about.”
“Oh that’s easy,” you said with a grin, “I learned this at college. All you have to do is stand in front of any painting and nod like you’re having a deep, intellectual experience.”
Joel smirked. “Yeah? Show me.”
You dropped his hand and turned dramatically toward an imaginary painting, narrowing your eyes at the hedge by the path, and tilted your head to the side. Then, forcing the smile from your face you nodded and gestured in to thin air before you turned back to him and murmured, “fascinating use of negative space.”
Joel let out a laugh that made your chest tighten in the best way.
“Damn,” he said, shooting you a crooked grin, “That’s real good. I’d believe you were an expert.”
You smirked back at him. “Stick with me, Miller. By the end of the night, people will think you are too.”
Joel exhaled a chuckle, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Guess I picked the right date, then.”
Your stomach did a giddy flip at the word date.
“Guess you did,” you murmured, letting your fingers lace with his again.
You finally reached the corner where your paths had to diverge. It was quiet now, the chaos of rush hour had long passed. Joel waved away your concern that he was going to be so late to the office and claimed that there had to be some perks to being the boss.
When you reluctantly dropped your hand from his, his fingers lingered, ghosting over your palm. A small shiver ran up your spine, and Joel must have noticed because the corner of his mouth quirked up just slightly. He gently pulled you closer, and you let him.
“This okay?” He murmured.
You barely heard the words over the thump of your heartbeat in your ears. “Yeah,” you breathed.
He hesitated a second longer, his thumb grazing the delicate skin of your wrist. And then, finally, he closed the last of the space between you.
His lips brushed yours, featherlight at first, careful. Like he expected you to pull away. But the second you leaned in, pressing just the slightest bit closer, he melted in to you with a sigh. His hand left yours and moved to cup your cheek. Your fingers curled into the collar of his jacket, pulling him even closer as you kissed him back, a small moan escaping your throat before you could stop it. Joel moved his other hand to the small of your back, pressing you against him with splayed fingers in a way that made your head spin. A deep groan rumbled in his chest when you swiped your tongue experimentally over his, and you felt his fingers press in to your jaw, urging your mouth open to kiss you deeper.
He pulled away suddenly, breath uneven and warm against your cheek, matching the rhythm of your own. His nose grazed down yours and he sighed deeply.
“We should probably stop before I decide I ain’t actually goin’ to work today.” He murmured, eyes glinting as he smiled at you.
You let out a small laugh, cheeks warm, smoothing his jacket down affectionately. He brushed his thumb against your back a couple of times before letting you go. The absence of his touch after the last hour felt foreign to you now.
You let your hand linger on his chest and pecked a kiss to the top of the scruff on Joel’s jaw. He closed his eyes, and an almost pained expression flickered across his face when you stepped away from him.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” You asked, suddenly nervous.
He cleared his throat and his fingers twitched at his sides, as if resisting the urge to pull you to him again.
“I sure hope so.” He said, his voice low and rough.
You nodded, knowing if you didn’t leave soon, you wouldn’t want to at all. “Have a good day, handsome,” you murmured, tilting your head with a smile.
He took a breath and looked at you like you’d hung the moon.
“You too, darlin’.”
As you walked away from him, you decided that Joel Miller calling you ‘darlin’ was your new favourite sound in the whole world.
Next Chapter
#joel miller fanfic#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller fic#joel miller au#joel miller fanfiction#the last of us hbo#ppcu fanfic#joel miller#ppcu#tlou fanfiction#tlou hbo#tlou joel#ao3 writer#ao3 fanfic#fanfic#fan fiction#archive of our own
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It’s interesting to me how everything Tae says he values in his friends or what’s important about his friendships with Wooga, is exactly what we see when he’s around JK. Plus obviously another layer on top. But it’s so clear if you observe Tae around JK, tnat he feels accepted, safe and comfortable. That he can be himself without judgement and that he’s meet with understanding, care, support and physical affection. And vice versa, with JK Tae can be the person he wants to be without holding back cause JK accepts and welcomes it. It’s just beautiful beautiful to see how well these two click and how they get each other blindly and how they clearly are themselves around each other without second thought. It’s such a natural, magical and special connection and bond. Never not in awe when we get little glimpses like these ones e.g.
https://x.com/girllytkook/status/1885964034174079328?s=46&t=VGR0B9a59mdmL-KO7fDdLg
https://x.com/loveazaleav__/status/1885506681494466848?s=46&t=VGR0B9a59mdmL-KO7fDdLg
https://x.com/regalkv/status/1885569570465079658?s=46&t=VGR0B9a59mdmL-KO7fDdLg
https://x.com/tkvk95972/status/1885361507107508604?s=46&t=VGR0B9a59mdmL-KO7fDdLg
🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
I think about Taehyung disliking being called 4D and alien and how we're invited to believe he's cold, distant and weird.
I don't think Taehyung is weird. I think he's a unique thinker, uniquely self-determined and uniquely principled with a very dry sense of humour but I don't find it weird. What I find weirder is how hard army work to call him weird and pretend he has no redeeming qualities. I think other people, including some members 😬, perpetuated this alien idea long enough that it got into the general OT7 consciousness that he was a strange loner.
I can't speak for Taehyung but I'm sure it can't have been fun having your kindness, humour and warmth squished out of the story in favour of "lol Tata language" or making him look argumentative.
It's evident from their early years that whatever "weird" Taehyung was supposed to be, Jungkook got him for who he actually is. It must mean a lot to know his best people don't think of him in such cartoonish ways and it tracks in who Tae continued to hang with consistently even when he didn't contractually have to.
In fact:
Works in reverse too. Taehyung isn't prone to the same kind of reductive narratives about Jungkook that others have.
I genuinely think no matter the full nature of their relationship, they are safety and acceptance for each other.
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Survivability Bias Pt 7
Masterpost - Ao3
Danny’s on his morning run when he notices the buzzing in his pocket. He stops short, stepping off to the side of the path, so he’s not in anyone’s way. It’s odd, having a phone again. He’s long since buried his old phone in his backpack. It died weeks ago, and he doesn’t really see any point in trying to charge it, when it can’t fulfill it’s primary purpose. The new phone from Robin is clearly far more advanced. It’s weird, having to use a touch screen, and Danny really hasn’t fiddled with it much. He doesn’t really know who’s paying for the service, but he’d rather not test their patience with accidental charges. So he’s only messaged Robin, and only to respond, on the few occasions Robin has had follow-up questions. Now, he pulls the phone out of his pocket, wondering what Robin needs, but instead of a contact name, the text notification lists a number.
Someone else is trying to call him.
Danny stares at the notification, fear condensing in the fathomless pit of his stomach. He’d known the phone was a risk when Robin had handed it to him. Had understood from the start that it was also a tool to track Danny. But there had been no reasonable way out of it; if Robin was going to make Danny exist, then he had to be able to contact him, for questions, or to let him know when his ID was ready. Sure, Superboy can listen for Danny’s voice, but he can’t exactly message Danny back without coming to meet him, and Robin undoubtedly doesn’t want to have to go through Superboy to talk to him anyways. So he’d accepted the phone, and he’d been careful not to go anywhere weird.
What Danny hadn’t considered, is the notion that Robin might give the number to others. Or, worse, that others might be able to find it (a trail is a trail is a trail). Now, here’s the clear evidence otherwise. Alarms flare in Danny’s head as he reconsiders, counting all the ways in which this whole thing was a terrible idea. He doesn’t have friends to help him here. He doesn’t even have Vlad to fall back on. Anonymity was quite literally his only protection and he threw that away for, what, the chance that he might be able to go to space camp?
Something touches his arm, and Danny leaps back, weight falling onto his back foot and arms coming up as he glares at the person in front of him. But when he pauses to process, the only person in front of him is an old lady who he’s seen around plenty of times before. Great. This is a public space, and there’s other people here, and he just acted like he was gonna fight an old lady.
“I’m so sorry!” Danny exclaims, snapping his arms down. “I just-” Danny fumbles for a moment, trying to think of an explanation that doesn’t sound like an excuse.
“Oh, there is absolutely nothing to apologize for, dear.” The lady says with a smile, even as she takes a half step back. “I touched you without warning; your response to that is your own. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Oh...” Danny says. “Okay?” He frowns, trying to remember if he stumbled or something before he stopped.
“Well, you looked at your phone and I thought you looked upset. So when you didn’t move after a minute, I thought you might have... well, I’ve seen that kind of reaction before, and it tends to not mean anything good.”
“Oh, that’s, um. That’s very nice of you.”
“Nothing of it dear! Now, I don’t want to pry into your business, but if you need an ear, or a hug, or just someone to sit with you for a moment...” She trails off. Danny blinks, and glances back at his phone.
“Um, I think- it’s fine. I probably need to go deal with this, but it’s nothing worth worrying about.” He plasters his best smile on as he says the last bit, and resolutely ignores the way her frown only deepens. “But I really appreciate the offer! I mean, really!” Danny takes one, then two steps back, then turns towards the entrance to the park, and sets off at a jog, calculating in his head.
It’s been about five minutes since his phone buzzed. Nothing’s happened yet, which means whatever situation probably isn’t hostile yet, so Danny presumably has some amount of time. And the first priority has to be keeping this poor town out of it, so the first thing he needs to do is get out of the town.
Luckily, Danny’s had a map of the best transformation spots building in his head since day one, so it’s a simple matter of running to the closest one, shifting, and then taking off under the cover of his invisibility. Once he gets some height, he starts scanning his surroundings for any odd activity, but everything in the town seems normal, so Danny refocuses, looking instead for a safe spot to deal with...whoever is after him now.
Five minutes later, Danny drops down onto an empty, overgrown lot, well away from anyone. The second his feet hit the ground, he looks down at the phone still in his hand. The unknown number is still there, staring him down from the notification screen. Danny takes a deep breath, and he swipes the phone open and begins to read.
Hey! I talked Robin into giving me your number so we could chat more easily! (it’s Superboy in case that isn’t clear)
Danny stares at the message, the dread in his stomach promptly evaporating, until all that’s left is a dense little nugget of embarrassment. Superboy. Who Danny knows and has talked to, and had been very friendly, and absolutely would have asked his friend Robin for Danny’s number. Because they’re at least sort-of-friends and that’s what friends do. They share their phone numbers and then send each other messages. And Danny reacted to a stupid message by panicking and fleeing the entire town like his phone was a bomb that he had to defuse in a desolate-ass field across from a shitty abandoned truck stop along an equally abandoned highway.
At least Superboy’s not here to see Danny look like a loser.
Hey! He quickly writes back. That’s a great idea, I’ll add you to my contacts :D
Danny hits send, then immediately takes off, heading back towards town. Maybe if he’s quick enough, nobody will catch that he left.
It’s kind of funny, in a way. Like, yeah Superboy had been acting friendly towards him from the beginning, but he hadn’t really thought about the other boy as being a potential friend or anything. There’s a part of him that feels guilty about it - that aches with the thought that he could be sending Superboy all the messages he would have sent to Sam and Tucker. He knows they’d call him an idiot if they could hear those thoughts, but the uncomfortable feeling doesn’t seem overly concerned with Danny’s attempts at rational thought.
He wishes they had come with him, even as he knows how unfair it would’ve been to ask. Their bond may be strong as hell (turns out half-dying in front of your friends makes for an unbreakable friendship), but his friends have families that love and care about them. Meanwhile, Danny’s family had always been a catastrophic mess. He’d always tried not to let himself think about it, but here in a different dimension, it’s easy to admit to himself how much it hurt to have his parents not realize he’d died.
They’d never even questioned it, not sought out a single further answer as to how the portal suddenly started working. Danny had spent weeks, falling through furniture and randomly going invisible, had suddenly started being targeted by their shitty home defense systems, and they’d never fucking noticed, because they’d been too excited that their beloved portal was finally working and now they could dig into their obsession all the more.
In retrospect, they should have realized Danny’s parents were ecto-contaminated far sooner. Even Box Ghost wasn’t that much of a freak for boxes.
“It’s fucking dumb,” Danny mutters, dropping down into an alley and transforming. “Fucking dead, and it’s a relief that they didn’t notice, because if my parents noticed anything about me, they’d only make my life fucking worse!” He punctuates the statement by kicking a half-crushed can as hard as he can, sending it flying directly at the wall. The clang echoes in the tight little alleyway, and again as it clatters to a stop a few feet away. He stands there, staring at the can for a moment, thinking about just letting himself cry. He imagines what would happen if he just collapsed onto the ground and started sobbing and never got up. It’s not like he has any responsibilities to get to, after all. Or, if he wanted, he could march back to the park and tell that nice lady that he’s not fine, and demand that hug she’d offered him. He’d feel dumb as hell, and it wouldn’t actually change anything, but he could.
He stoops down to pick up the can. Sam would want him to go recycle it. Superboy responds to his text with a goofy midair selfie.
* * *
Danny does not want to be doing math right now, so when his phone buzzes, he jumps at the opportunity to do literally anything else. Danny’s determined to do well in school this time around, and he’s willing to work for it, but trying to review and relearn everything he should have over the last couple years sucks. Luckily he’s found some useful resources that he can refer back to when he inevitably discovers something else he should have learned, but preparedness is definitely better than playing catch-up. He’s only going to have two years worth of high school grades, so each class is worth a lot more. Thinking about that, Danny kind of gets why Robin had offered to falsify his grades. He could only imagine how Jazz would’ve felt if her perfect GPA had been erased in Junior year.
But to Danny, the clean slate is already a boon. He’d quite literally scraped his way out of summer school by half of a percent this last year, and even though Junior Year had barely been underway when he’d fled, his grades had already been beyond recovery. And with no ghost attacks to contend with, Danny’s determined to prove he can get to college of his own accord.
Guess what! :D The message from Superboy says, when he opens it. It’s accompanied by a selfie, though it’s not taken in any of the rooms Danny’s seen in the many photos Superboy’s sent him.
Titan Tower’s been demolished and you’re all staying in Robin’s place for a week? Danny sends back immediately. He hopes that’s not actually the case, but Superboy’s always delighted whenever Danny sends him a snarky response, so he swallows the needle of anxiety. They’ve been texting for less than a week, but in that time, Superboy’s sent Danny dozens and dozens of messages. Solidly half of them are just random selfies, and the number that appear to be from inside their hero base has got to be some kind of a security problem, but Danny’s not about to challenge Superboy on it. It’s too reassuring, seeing the headquarters the teen heroes work from. Every selfie reveals more of the comfortable, spacious, and well-equipped base, and with every reveal, Danny feels a little more certain that they really aren’t being exploited.
Nope, comes the response. Then, a moment later, I’m at your new home! This is accompanied by another selfie, this one with an absolutely gorgeous framed print of the pillars of creation in the background. Danny straightens in his seat, as he stares at the message. He’d given Robin carte blanche when it came to furnishing his apartment. At the time of their conversation, he’d been overwhelmed and didn’t want to think about anything like furniture, but now that he’s had time to think he’s been feeling a little regret about it. Danny’s used to living with stuff that other people have picked out, and the idea of having control over his furniture actually does seem like it could be cool. Still, he hadn’t felt strongly enough to say anything, afraid to risk disrupting whatever work Robin had already done. Besides, he’d assumed Robin would just give him the are minimum, and he could add stuff later, when he finally had the money.
Danny’s caught between desperate gratitude and guilt. The print in the photo is beautiful, and exactly the kind of thing Danny might have chosen, but he also knows how much quality prints like that cost. He hadn’t thought about it before, but furniture has got to be expensive too, even if it’s just the bare minimum.
You still there, dude? Another text comes in and Danny moves to reply with shaking hands.
How much money are you guys spending on me?
The response isn’t immediate. Danny tries not to panic, but he can tell he’s going to fail. Instead, he shoves his stuff into his backpack as quickly as he can, holding his breath, because he absolutely can’t be trusted to stay quiet right now. He’s walking out the door to the library, when his phone finally buzzes again.
Okay so I sort of had to ask Robin why you would be worried about that, so like, sorry for the delay. There’s like a lot of gaps in my social knowledge? And I’ve never really had any control over what ppl do or don’t give me, so like. I didn’t realize that would upset you and I’m sorry? But also Robin literally said “not much, only a couple thousand” which is to say that I’m pretty sure he’s actually super rich and furnishing a home is literally peanuts to him.
Danny reads it, and then he reads it again, forcing himself to take deep breaths as he moves out of the doorway. Once he’s well away from anyone’s walking path, he lets himself collapse against the wall, sliding down until he’s curled up against the corner of the ground and wall.
It’s fine.
It’s gotta be fine. There is literally nothing in either of their behavior that has seemed even remotely cruel, and if Danny’s reading between the lines right, then Robin does this sort of thing to other people too, so it’s not even remotely about Danny. He doesn’t feel good about it, but logically it isn’t the level of problem that Danny is worried about. Danny can deal with the gross feelings. He can’t afford to do anything else, really.
After all, how the hell was gonna buy a bed? He has less than a hundred dollars to his name. Maybe he could afford it if he sold off the jewelry, but he absolutely couldn’t furnish a whole apartment. Besides, he literally asked for this. If he’s too stupid to realize the implications of asking for his apartment to be furnished, then that’s fully on him.
His phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out, half on instinct, but really, what is ignoring Superboy going to accomplish?
Are you good? Do I need to find you? I haven’t gotten the hang of tracking heartbeats like Superman, but I can try? I like being your friend, please don’t let me fuck this up
Danny starts typing out a response. Deletes it. Tries again. He tries to lie and say he feels fine, but it just reminds him of the old lady’s expression the other day, and how she’d seemed more upset when he tried to brush his problems off. He takes another deep breath and tries to remember Jazz. They’d mostly avoided talking about Vlad. The whole thing was just so shitty and neither of them had the power to actually do anything, so they’d mostly pretended he didn’t exist, and Danny had done his best to play off the worst of his behavior. There had been one time, though. When Jazz had come home, upset about some conflict with a friend, and she had turned on him about it, lecturing him about boundaries and how important it is to tell people if you feel uncomfortable. She hadn’t explicitly said Vlad’s name but, well, who else could she have been talking about? So Danny forcibly gulps air down, and he tries to explain.
I’m not mad at you? Danny writes. I just - have a history with, like, gifts, and the idea of anyone spending much money on me makes me feel gross. Like in a ‘how is this gonna be held over me’ sort of way, y’know? He has to back up and rephrase a couple times, but eventually he feels like his response makes sense, so he hits send.
Crisis somewhat quelled, Danny gulps down another breath, and pushes himself back to his feet. There’s a mom nearby staring at him, though her kid seems focused on the book in their hands, so he mutters sorry, and starts heading down the street.
Oh. Yeah, I think I get that. Superboy’s response is quicker this time. Can I, like, tell that to Robin? He might have an idea of how to make it not-a-gift?
Sure, Danny responds. I think I’m gonna go for a run, so if I don’t respond, don’t stress out.
* * *
When Danny finishes his run, he’s got a picture from Superboy of an absolutely adorable dog, and one single message from Robin that reads Don’t worry. Meet us at Emery Park at 5. We can discuss the logistics of it then. Robin’s absolutely tragic reassurance doesn’t really make him feel better, but it is sort of amusingly Robin-like, so at least there’s that. Danny has no intentions of trying to study now though, so instead he just wanders the park for a while, before slipping off to transform. When he comes back in his ghost form, he feels incredibly conspicuous and pretty much everyone seems to notice him. Mostly they just smile and nod in his direction, but one person actually comes up to him.
“Hey, uh. My sister was one of the people you saved last month, so like, thank you. She means a lot to me, and I don’t know what I would have done if she’d-” They cut themselves off with a choked noise, and they absolutely look like they’re about to start crying. Danny gets it; he knows full well what happened in the world where something happened to his sister, but he also has no idea how to reassure them.
“I’m very glad I was able to help,” Danny tries. “Um, how is your sister?” Good, that’s how to be empathetic, right?
“Ah, well you know. The smoke inhalation had her laid up for a bit, but honestly I think she was more upset about losing her home, you know? But she’s staying with me for now, so we’ll figure things out.”
“That’s good,” Danny nods. They’re not wrong; losing your home sucks. But this random person absolutely does not need to be subjected to Danny’s long list of misfortune. Luckily they take their leave after that, though whether it’s a result of Danny’s expression or their own emotions, he’s not sure.
Nobody else approaches him in the time it takes for Superboy to flip over his shoulder.
“Hey!” Superboy says, grinning as he lands in front of Danny. “Whatchu been up to?”
“Not much,” Danny says. “It’s really not been a productive day.”
“Shit, sorry.” Superboy winces.
“Nah, even before that, I was trying to review math, so like. Focus has been majorly my enemy, you know?”
“Ready to start school, then?” Robin asks from where he’s walked up to stand by Danny.
“Eh, probably not ever gonna be, so it might as well happen.”
“Right, well everything is ready, so if you’d like to adjourn to the apartment to discuss specifics?” Danny nods, and follows as they head off again.
Instead of walking, Robin pulls out a literal zip-line, and they quite literally take to the rooftops, all the way to a nice-looking brick building, not far from the center of town. Danny would wager that it’s within a ten minute walk of the library and the nearest grocery store, which is pretty sweet. Danny can even see little balconies along the front, as they approach which is pretty cool. so he might even get a view. Instead of heading to the front of the building, Robin drops down to street level, and Danny finds himself in a little parking garage when he follows.
“We’re less likely to get spotted this way,” Robin explains as he walks through the parking lot. “I’ll erase the security footage of us, but the less people know we came here, the safer your identity is.”
“Makes sense,” Danny says. “I can, um, make you guys invisible, but I’d have to be touching you to do it.”
“By all means.” Robin says, staring Danny down.
“Cool, um,” Danny glances over at Superboy, who nods, so he reaches out to grip their wrists carefully, and lets his invisibility wash over all three of them. He lets Robin lead them through the door, and up three flights of stairs. He stops in front of a door labelled 305, and a moment later, the door is open and the three of them are stepping inside. Danny drops his grip on them as the door closes, taking in the room around him.
Danny’s half-formulated fear of some fancy, swagged-out apartment that constantly reminds him of Robin’s generosity seems ridiculous in the face of the cozy, simply appointed living space in front of him. Instead of a table, there’s a small bar area built into the kitchen with a couple of comfortable-looking stools, and the couch in the living room looks comfortably worn, so Robin must have gotten it secondhand. The decorations aren’t extravagant either. The framed print Danny had seen earlier sits proudly on the wall behind the couch, but aside from that there’s only a couple minor decorations, and a lamp.
He turns to look back at Robin, who immediately steps forward and holds up a key ring.
“This key gets you into the building, this one is to your apartment, and this one is to your mailbox. There’s also a bike room in the parking garage we walked through. That’s what this last key is for, though I would advise still using a bike lock if you decide to get one.” He holds it out, after he finishes, and Danny nods, trying to commit each key to memory. After a moment, Robin continues.
“Your lease is in the folder on the counter, along with your personal documentation and a couple other things. As far as the funding of this is concerned, I took the slight liberty of forward-funding this with your theoretical payout for the assistance you provided during the train crash last month. So, if and when you decide to legally declare your hero identity, I’ll back-file the paperwork for that.”
“Oh,” Danny says. He looks around the room again, and then back at Robin. The internet had been entirely unclear if Robin had any powers, but Danny’s decided he’s got to be psychic. There’s no other way he could have planned this all out so perfectly. “Okay, that’s, um. That definitely works for me. Thank you so much.”
“You’ve gotta see your bedroom, though!” Superboy explains, grabbing Danny’s hand and pulling him down the hallway, and through the last door.
The bedroom that greets him is similarly balanced as the living area. The comforter alone makes Danny pause. As long as he can remember, he’d always secretly wanted a space-themed comforter, but he’d only ever seen the goofy ones made for little kids, but this comforter is decorated with an absolutely gorgeous cover; the star-spattered blue-black of outer space giving way at the bottom edge to a view of the earth itself, atmosphere pale against the onslaught of space. It’s gorgeous, and doesn’t make Danny feel childish at all. The wall behind the headboard is similarly impressive, with what has to be a composite print of high quality images of every major body in the galaxy, from the sun itself to the dwarf planet Pluto (Danny hadn’t been certain how to feel about that particular difference in classification when he’d first arrived, but he’s come around to it by now).
“Do you like it?” Superboy asks.
“It’s amazing,” Danny says. Stepping forward and falling onto his new bed. “I actually can’t believe this is all mine.”
“Your name’s the one on the lease,” Robin says. “Although please do let me know if you have a hard time making payments. I’m more than happy to assist, and if you need to make it a loan to feel comfortable, we work that out.”
“Yeah, okay.” Danny says, looking around the space again. He feels a lot less anxious just being in this space. Vlad would never have done anything like this. If he’d ever been inclined to get Danny an apartment, there would have been reminders of him everywhere. It’s not even like the kind of unwanted stuff Sam would throw at him and Tucker. This whole apartment really feels like it’s meant to be his.
“There’s also the beginnings of a wardrobe in the closet. Not much since I wasn’t certain of style preferences, but a few basics and a couple nice shirts for any job interviews and the like.”
“Oh,” Danny says. He really should think of better responses to what Robin says, but he keeps saying things Danny hadn’t even considered.
“Similarly, there’s some food essentials in the kitchen. We can always take anything you dislike to a food bank.” Robin continues, unhindered. “And the secondary bedroom is currently set up to be an office. Since you’re doing the school from home option, I decided it was worthwhile to set up a separate space for you to do that from. Separating work and relaxation spaces can go a long way to not going insane.”
“Oh.” Danny feels like a broken record.
“Furthermore, to head off any concerns, the laptop is one of my old ones that was sitting unused in storage. The planner, however, is new, and it is a gift.” Robin says, his mouth turning up into a slight smile. Keeping track of what you have to do is the most difficult part of online school, and the planner should help with that. Just don’t get caught up in trying to use it the right way. Whatever works best for you is the correct way.”
“Damn dude,” Superboy says, staring at his friend. “How are you gonna go and make school sound like it’s kinda fun?”
“If you’re interested, I could get you signed up as well.” Robin’s response comes immediately.
“We should order pizza,” Danny says, flopping onto the couch. “Gotta hang out now before I get too busy with school.”
#dp x dc#dc x dp#the one where danny stumbles into a new universe and immediately guns for NASA#Am I putting far too much thought into minor aspects of governmental policy that will quite literally never be explored in detail?#yes#will i stop? no#this fic has officially decimated my original outline#but I think the direction it's going is well worth it#and I promise we will eventually get to space camp
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Hanni never believed in spontaneous romances—until she met you. Hanni realizes that this time, and for the first time, she doesn't want to run away.
1. What’s her name?
Masterlist | Next
Hanni tapped her feet impatiently on the floor as she looked around for any waiter to take her order, until she finally saw someone coming towards her.
The girl looked away until the person arrived at her table, raising her head when she was called.
“Would you like to order?” Hanni looked at the girl who had a small notepad in her hand and a small smile on her face, showing the dimples in her cheeks - you.
“Oh, yes, I would like a chocolate cake and a vanilla milkshake, please.” She watched as you wrote down the order, but she didn’t watch you write it down, she watched you specifically, carefully looking at every contour on your face.
“That’s all?” You looked at her again and the girl just nodded, afraid that you had noticed her look “I’ll bring it in a few minutes.” She nodded and smiled, when you left she let out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding.
Normally Hanni wouldn't be this nervous around a waitress anywhere, but for some reason she was, and for some reason she ignored it too.
-
The two girls sat at the table in the back of the café with Hanni, near the heater, getting comfortable as they took off their coats and gloves. The winter outside was punishing with cold winds, but inside the sweet smell of coffee and freshly baked cakes brought a cozy feeling.
"Why did you look like that when we arrived?" One of Hanni's friends, Minji, asked with a mischievous smile, resting her chin on her hand. "You seemed kind of... nervous."
"Me? It’s nothing." she answered too quickly, looking away to the window, where snowflakes were starting to fall more heavily.
"Hmm..." The other friend, Danielle, narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure?"
Hanni sighed and shook her head, deciding to change the subject. But before she could say anything, the sound of soft footsteps approached.
“Excuse me.” The familiar voice rang out, and the girl felt her heart race a little before she even looked up. It was you. You placed the plate and glass in front of her with that same friendly smile from before, your dimples showing again. “Here’s your order.”
Hanni cleared her throat, trying to look as normal as possible. “Thank you.”
Her friends exchanged suggestive glances, but Hanni pretended not to notice.
Before leaving, you glanced at the other two girls. “Would you like to order something too?”
Danielle and Minji quickly ordered coffee and some sweet rolls, but Hanni remained focused on the little details: the way you held your pen, the soft tone of your voice, the way your eyes sparkled under the warm light of the café.
When you walked away, Minji leaned forward and smiled mischievously. “So… What’s her name?”
Hanni blinked, feeling her face heat up.
She… didn’t know.
She had observed you so much, noticed so many details, but hadn’t asked the most basic thing.
She picked up her fork and absentmindedly stirred the cake, thinking.
Hanni stabbed a piece of cake with her fork, but instead of eating it, she kept picking at it, lost in thought. Minji and Danielle kept looking at her, clearly waiting for an answer.
“You don’t know, do you?” Danielle asked, holding back a smile.
Hanni sighed, dropping her fork on her plate. “No.”
Minji took a sip of the coffee the waitress had just served and smiled at the corner of her mouth. “That means you’ll have to ask.”
She frowned. “Why would I?”
“Because you want to know.” Danielle replied.
Minji nodded excitedly. “And because you kept staring at her like you were trying to memorize her entire face.”
Hanni rolled her eyes, but couldn’t deny that the idea of knowing her name made her curious. Something about her made Hanni want to notice more, to start a conversation, to want to... know more.
She sighed, picked up the glass of milkshake and took a long sip, trying to ignore her friends' gazes. But the universe seemed to conspire in their favor, because in the next second, you appeared next to the table again.
"Everything okay with the orders?" your voice sounded polite, but still with that gentle tone that Hanni was starting to find charming.
"Yes, everything is great." Minji answered before Hanni could even open her mouth.
It was then that Danielle, with a mischievous glint in her eyes, smiled at you. "By the way, what's your name?"
Hanni's eyes widened and she almost choked on her milkshake.
You blinked, a little surprised by the sudden question, but soon smiled again. "My name is..."
Hanni held her breath.
"... Y/n." you answered, your smile widening slightly when you noticed Hanni's surprised look.
She exhaled slowly, her eyes drifting back to the milkshake as if it were the most interesting thing in the world at the moment. Minji and Danielle exchanged knowing glances, both holding back smiles as they watched the scene.
“That’s beautiful.” Yunah commented casually, resting her chin on her hands. “It suits you.”
You laughed softly. “Thank you.” Your eyes widened They were quickly baked by Hanni before you added, “If you need anything else, just call.”
And then, as lightly as you had arrived, you walked away, heading back to the counter. Hanni watched you with her eyes without realizing it, her fingers absently twirling the straw of her milkshake.
Minji clicked her tongue. “You’re an idiot.”
Hanni blinked, waking up from her little trance. “What?”
Danielle laughed. “You clearly liked her.”
She snorted, picking up her fork again and stabbing the cake without much delicacy. “You guys jump to conclusions too quickly.”
Minji raised an eyebrow. “Oh, right. Then why were you staring at her like that?”
“I didn’t.”
Danielle nudged her arm. “Love at first sight, maybe?”
“You guys are annoying.” Hanni mumbled, but her face was slightly flushed, which only made Minji and Dani laugh harder.
She snorted again, but a small smile played on her lips.
Maybe they were right. Maybe it was just curiosity… or maybe, just maybe, it was the beginning of something new.
In the following minutes, Hanni tried to ignore her friends, focusing on the cake that no longer looked so appetizing.
But it was impossible. Minji and Danielle kept exchanging glances and smiling suggestively, and, even worse, their gaze insisted on searching for you in the coffee.
You were behind the counter, organizing some orders, and seemed completely oblivious to the small internal turmoil Hanni was facing.
She hated herself a little for it. Since when had anyone made her so restless?
“You should go talk to her.” Minji suggested, stirring her own coffee as if it were a trivial matter.
Hanni laughed humorlessly. “And say what? ‘Hi, I’m Hanni and I apparently can’t stop staring at you’?”
Minji shrugged. “That would be an interesting start.”
Hanni mumbled something inaudible, but before she could argue further, she saw you approaching again. Her heart skipped an involuntary beat.
“Do you want anything else?” Her voice was gentle, as before, but now her eyes seemed to lock with the girl’s a little more.
She opened her mouth to answer, but Danielle was quicker. “Actually, yes.”
Hanni frowned, already sensing that this wasn’t going to end well.
“My friend here has something to ask you.” Danielle said, pointing directly at Hanni, who felt her stomach drop.
You raised your eyebrows slightly, waiting.
Hanni felt her cheeks burn. Minji was holding back a laugh. Dani looked about to explode with amusement.
She took a deep breath. Maybe it would be better to get this over with.
“You…” she began hesitantly, looking away quickly before gathering courage and looking at you. “Have you worked here for a long time?”
It wasn’t exactly what she wanted to ask, but at least it was something.
You looked surprised for a second, but then smiled, as if you understood something she herself didn’t yet.
“It’s been a few months…” you answered. “Do you like here?”
She nodded quickly, taking the opportunity to divert the focus. “Yes, it’s cozy.”
“That’s good. Then I hope to see you here more often.”
You smiled again before walking away, leaving the girl completely speechless.
Minji and Danielle burst into giggles.
Hanni covered her face with her hands. “I hate you guys.”
But deep down, a small smile was beginning to form. Maybe coming back to the café more often wouldn’t be such a bad idea.
Taglist 🏷️ (open) - @liaglitch @saysirhc
#What’s her name?#newjeans#newjeans x fem reader#newjeans x reader#hanni x fem reader#pham hanni x fem reader#pham hanni x reader#hanni pham#newjeans hanni#hanni x reader
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so, after this phase of depression, i am back at too many ideas at once and getting overwhelmed by all of it bc i cant do it all and dont know how to decide which one to focus on or which ones actually good and not just a brainfart
(so, some more botw2/totk rewritten ideas-
mostly text but i am unsure what to actually work on and draw or if its even any good, so id be very happy to hear your opinion on some of this qoq)
-was thinking about designing the sonau even though they might not show up physically, to keep their mystery alive, but i am playing with the idea of a dead one preserved in crystal in a larger cave, perhaps their last stronghold, i like the thought of them being rather small monkey like creatures with long tails that end in a light fern looking thing
--been also thinking more about the ancient queen zeldas and ganondorfs relationship bc i feel its compelling for them to have had a much more personal grudge agaisnt each other than i previously planned, gives more weight to everything-
though it is mostly background stuff that is not directly shown in the game, except for environmental storytelling -which botw was pretty good at- and diary entries you can discover (perhaps finding it and then telling riju and a gerudo researcher about it since it would be in ancient script zelda hadnt encountered before?), current thought was to have there be a secret lair that one of ganondorfs daughters used to live in after the sealing disaster sent both kingdoms into conflict, and with their mother dying in battle the eldest daughter would surrender and agree to whatever the princess of hyrule demanded, while the younger one would not bow down and those that followed her split off to live in the gerudo highlands, like another reoccuring theme with this being the prescursor to what happens with the shiekah and yiga later- of those are none left by this time (or should there?) and the diary of the younger daughter talks about her fathers secret hideout having being sealed shut as a sign of respect- it is inaccessible due to the structures beign damaged, but its serving as a hint there will be more; it will be made accessible after the mid game fight with ganondorf, in which you see the scene of the sealing, and he changes his position from hyrule castle that fell into the underground to the innards of the plateau- that being the final dungeon- in his room, might also be a part of his diary, at least from his younger days, and a bracelet of obviously hyrulian origin, which is meant to imply-
that the ancient queen zelda and him were in love once when they were both younger, though neither really acted on it (noble families pressures and conflictions yippie) until it was decided she would be married to a young knight of a noble hyrulian family, as it had been per tradition, after which they would not be able to visit each other anymore in the way they sued to as her father wanted her to prepare to take the throne and was way more strict than before, with one last meeting in that secret chamber and her leaving a bracelet there as a gift-
now heres the problem i ran into, that they had feelings for each other and used to be very close, as well as both having their own families later on is pretty solid and i want to keep all that but i also randomly thought about weaving the drama further (in that noble families kind of way especially, though again this would only be mentioned in his diary entry from the secret room you unlock, and since his younger daughter doesnt mention anything at all save for makign a point about not rummaging through her late fathers things out of her deep respect for him, its pretty clear she didnt know and neither did anyone else except for ganondorf himself and perhaps his mothers, this is all meant to make all of these characters have more depth even with getting little to literal no screentime, not to be a big focus)- so there was the stray idea of the ancient queen having a daughter 'just' after being married to that hyrulian knight.. and it being obviously not his, but gerudo, as gerudo traits are rather dominant(i think?) and the knight and ganondorf look nothing alike, so to avoid any sort of royal disaster that daughter would be secretly given to ganondorf to raise instead (which he would gladly do), and the official story being it was stillborn (the whole thing being worked out by a few maids sworn loyally to their queen .. im torn about the queen herself knowing or not tbh or if that even matters in the grand scheme of things (though i do like the idea of her knowing but acting like it is nothing to live up to being a wise and proud queen now thats shes under that pressure, she would change alot during her time of reign, going from that more typical unsure of herself but trying her best princess to a self confident cold and calculating queen, maybe he could even make a short remark about it), again this is still just vaguely implied background details most wouldnt even find out about, i just .. like to think about the background of things that make sense and give more weight to it all but arent what it revolves around and its neither essential to know, might as well be one of those things people would likely hear about in youtube videos)
i didnt find or dont know if theres any rule that princess zelda cant have siblings (i think she had a brother once but idk that may be different about sisters is the question) bc ganondorfs older daughter then not awakening any special (zelda reserved) powers could be simply bc she wasnt trained to do so (perhaps she would be able to hear things like zeldas often do but that too being only mentioned offhand) and him just not putting any focus on royal hyrulian traditions, it could be a secret rite too and honestly .. why would he try to train her to be the traditional princess of hyrule, awakening powers that are reserved for the hyrulian royals would make everything go haywire in terms of the secret about her mother, though im worried it would seem like her being gerudo is seen as 'tainted' instead, like she isnt a 'real' or 'pure' zelda and that being the reason, which somethign i do not like at all
either way that second part is purely an idea that i am 50/50 about using since its really not a big deal in the end and ultimately doesnt change much except make their relationship a bit more messier
---ahem, anyway, i also decided i wanted to model most sky islands after this one photo in my collection since it looks cool and would make sense to have these island be worn down by constant winds
---- i also want to flood the tabantha canyon with the forgotten temple and considered actually breaking of some pieces of landmass, like it is now a giant island, imagine akkala a kilometer away from the mainland for example, it wouldnt inherently change much about the structure but it would make it feel alot more different and provide good ground for different kinds of interactions since the people there would need to adjust to that, you can melt ice around the riot region easier than you can reattach a broken off giant piece of land after all
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rewrites totk#i have the feeling the older daughter of ganondorf being also the queen first child is a brainfart rather than a good idea#but i await your judgement#theres likely more ideas i just simply forgot to add right now but are definitely also in my head here#mayb thats why it feels like it wants to explode#as i am currently also having a migraine#and in this kind of situation of thinking about too many things at once and too many ideas#i often think about dumb stuff#but you are well used to reading stuff getting posted on this blog so!#*hits post*
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hello hello!!! random question before i get started on work haha
how do you come up with dialogue for ur hms comics? the back n forth of them feels so heavy and realistic. especially the casualness paired with the bleeding-brooding (alliteration for fun) violence makes everything just. hit. in a tragic and hopeless way imo. it’s so neat :0
i’ve been trying that kind of writing out a bit lately too. this is what i’ve managed with my iambic pentameter gang (hms but rain world iterator). MiND is being threatened by the rage pent up inside himself. and, strangely enough, it has the voice of HeART.
constructive feedback is welcome ^_^!
once again, hello hello! sending good wishes and all :]. i love ur work ^_^ 💛
oooo hmm... this isnt something ive ever really thought about trying to explain, thank you for the question! big fan of the posing in the piece youve added here btw, i like the alliteration in 'heliocentric heathen' B:•∆
honestly the way i go about writing them isnt something i feel i can put into words with a clear structure of process... often with my comics it starts with me simply having a vague idea of 'i want to make a comic today', and drawing what feels right to lead into it. the words typically link in with the actions as well - i usually draw something, draw the next thing, write a bit of dialogue, draw the next thing, write more dialogue.... not in that exact order but the words always feel to be a reaction to the actions and the actions are a reaction to the words (and/or, words and actions work in tandem). people rarely talk in a vacuum, especially when theyre having the conversation in person, so i find it helpful to see the actions as part of the dialogue and vice versa.
occasionally ive scripted out dialogue beforehand (always with actions included within the script.) but even with a script what actually is said needs to adjust with whats been drawn. when i dont write with a script (which is the norm), its often while im drawing the next frame that im thinking over whats being said. typically i just go over and over a sentence mentally, adjusting bits until it feels right, looking at it once its written on the page and adjusting it more if necessary.
perhaps a bit vague? apologies! i do have certain mental rules i try keep in mind for each of the threes characters while writing. 'how would heart respond, how would he word this? mind? i cant word it this way because i know he doesnt do this...' <subconscious questions and thoughts but they are important to keep in mind. i find it the most helpful to keep the core traits i personally see in them in mind, and let those traits kind of... guide what is said. if i think of how that collection of traits and facets would respond to something, the vague concept that creates can then go through the filters of dialogue traits i have in mind for them. ...ehhh, put more simply... 'what is the general response this character would have to this situation' and then 'how would they structure that response through words and/or actions?'.
i, being who i am, cccc being what it is, am somewhat naturally inclined to writing grim and bleeding-brooding (nice word) things. i also consider myself to be quite a grounded person, which i hope comes through in my work! however, natural inclinations aside, cccc itself is quite a bleeding-brooding album (at least it is to me). its one about depression and self hatred and it really doesnt pull many punches in that respect. or at least, thats my read on it! as a result, that becomes reflected in my interpretation of hms. however, id also note that cccc is silly at times, theres humor in it. all good grim things need a bit of levity to really make it feel Real... people joke in the worst of times, not just the best, and it really helps in writing serious things to have just a little bit of joke to it, even if its not immediately noticable... this is hard to really give examples of honestly but it is relevant i promise. im unsure if youve read much of my writing aside from my comics, but theres just a bit of absurdity and humor in both my cccc pieces that would make the writing feel sorely lacking without in my opinion. notable with how violent and tense both those pieces are.
lots of words now! hopefully helpful ones B:•] or at least interesting! ill try write out some of the core traits and details i keep in mind when writing hms so as to give better reference points to all my prior words:
heart: reactive, not instigative. he doesnt start fights, he finishes them. he also doesnt need an insane amount of prompting to get going... but he does need prompting. apathetic, a bit fanciful. hes depressed, and not in a cute way. he talks casually but he uses serious words. no point in simplifying his language - he wants to be taken seriously, and while he makes himself look small and weak at times he is Not weak and he is Not small. hes just as much of a wordsmith as the other two. he covers his mouth when he speaks sometimes, and he puts his hand over his chest... a bit defensive? muffling his own input, but notably he still speaks. lies by omission or by twisting facts - if full honesty helps his case, thats what he uses. if a white lie works better... i personally see him as a bit of a planner too. sometimes his reaction to things is built up to; it never comes out of nowhere, even if it may seem like it.
mind: instigative, less reactive. he still reacts to things but hes generally the one starting shit and hes honestly very bad at Not talking shit. uses contractions. <this is a small one but mind says 'dont' and 'cant' and i dont think ive ever heard him Not use contractions to any notable degree. kind of weak! hes proud of himself, very proud of himself, and even in the moments of the album where theyre getting along he cant drop his superiority complex. hes bad at making compromises that put him as the lesser one. hes also quick to point blame and to lie (even if hes a bit roundabout abt it). hes also not That smart - or at least, hes not any smarter than the other two. he Thinks hes smart and hes quite confident about that but that doesnt actually mean hes right lol. aggressive verbally, passive physically. hypocritical.
both of them tend to see soul as an afterthought, or as something to benefit from. note the 'something', not 'someone'. imo, they dont really see him as a valid living entity in the same way they see themselves. speaking of soul...
soul: hes difficult. hes a difficult and complicated guy. vague, fanciful, depressed, suicidal, tired... i personally see him as quite passive. both passive and active... hes violent, towards himself and towards the others. just as they dont see him as an individual, i believe hes too apathetic and burnt out to see them as individuals either. when he threatens to hang himself, thats a direct threat to the two if them as well - and it functions as one, seeing as they are all linked in that way! his suicidality isnt purely self destructive in the way it would be in other story contexts which i find important to remember. i see him as someone who sleeps a lot... and as someone who is treated more like a tool than anything else. but he is, simultaneously, idealistic. he hopes for the best and would do anything (Anything.) to try and achieve it. he wants things to Get Better or to Stop. most of the time when i write or draw him its within the 'Stopping is the only option to Get Better' stage of things. hes tired and he doesnt want to deal with things but he has to and he doesnt want to and hes at the end of his rope. honestly within the album he feels a bit like a ghost. hes granted a similar level of personhood as the shadow of what could be, which is both more and less than mind and heart get.... hes confusing! hea a difficult guy. honestly you can take a lot of my notes and thoughts on his character with a grain of salt because hes always been such a puzzle to me haha. i find him easiest to convey in art... OH yes one last thought/trait is hes a bit... arrogant? hes tired and hes careless. listen to me or fuck off and die. arrogant. what a guy.
ahaaha this kinda became me just rambling about my reads on the three but.. hopefully helpful!! this is all stuff i try keep in mind when im writing and drawing them. theres certainly nuances ive missed and things i havent worded as well as i could, but you get the idea i hope! all of that informs how i write them and... in a way they almost lead me through the piece.
also! this isnt something i often think about because its just a natural part of the process, but sometimes i end up scrapping stuff! entire paragraphs, panels and poses, because it hits a stasis where i cant find any way for one or the other to continue the interaction - theres a distinct difference between this and the interaction hitting its ending point. if ive written one person saying or doing something and none of the parties involved are able to respond in any way at all, thats a sign that ive conveyed their characters wrong and i need to go back. people *always* have a response to something, whether thats continuing the conversation or leaving or anything. if none of them can come up with a response that feels like them, ive messed up somewhere. dont be afraid to go back and rewrite things.
ummm yeah thats all i can think of to say now! thank you for the question, and thank you for the nice words!! B:•∆ im very happy my comics come off the way youve described, and very happy youve enjoyed my work enough to want to ask me about it!! means a lot to me B:•] your rainworld iterator hms concept sounds swag as hell, id just say to keep at it!! from what youve shown here youve already got a great start B:•∆ thank you again! hope you and anyone else reading this has a good week!
#calamarispeaks#ask#thewandererh#ahhh what the hell ill maintag this. kinda became a mild character study#chonny jash#cccc#i have Got to do more comics guyssss#im planning a comic for hms magical girls.... still need to flesh some things out but this is a rare scripted comic methinks#dont want to make it too big in my head tho or else i wont be happy with it hah#alsooo all of the writing abt hms traits is ultimately just my read on things!! as fallible as anyone elses B:•]#i think abt them a lot i reaaallly like these guys... heeheee
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Sophie folded too quickly. Partially it's that Kamala just has a weird charisma that can't be explained or quantified where every other person she meets in her age range wants to date her. As much as I like their ship part of me really wants to see how it would've gone down if Esme had been picked instead.
Like, it's hard to fully explain how much "Good is not a thing you are, It's a thing you do" is a core part of her character without just posting the issues. That kind of near infinite compassion she has and how much she can believe in other people.
Esme is kind of like if you took Emma Frost as she is now and you turned her into a teenage girl. Emma always had self esteem issues. But the way she expressed them as a teen and as an adult is completely different. As an adult Emma often puts up this image of an invisible queen, completely untouchable and unbothered. But she deeply hurts and feels everything.
Out of all the Cuckoos, Esme might have the biggest issue with her confidence and self esteem/self worth. This is something else that comes up when she's dating Kid Cable, Emma makes it clear that Esme really "needs this".
Can you imagine if Esme is unwilling to compromise her plans with the QC? If she's still insistent on starting a mutant-human war?
Kamala obviously doesn't want to let this happen, because. . . You know, all the murder, putting mutants into ghettos and starting a race war stuff. Neither is fully able to convince the other to turn, but they don't give up on each other.
Or maybe Esme tries to give up on Kamala, she's a lost cause who can't see the bigger picture/understand what it feels like to be at the top of the world only to lose it all. But Kamala keeps trying to reach her, continues to try and bridge that gap. And there's something about that, about this one person who despite how much Esme tricked and manipulated her, how much she hurt her, how different their ideals are, still doesn't stop believing in her. Doesn't stop loving her.
They could have a little "dating Catwoman" kind of situation.
Honestly, Kamala with any girl is great, and Kamala with any Cuckoo would be amazing. I really really like Sophie and Kamala because those are the two who we've seen interact. But Esme is low key probably my favorite Cuckoo, so it's hard to not come back to this idea.
Ahhhh, I wish I could write good fanfic so I could write this.
#marvelous cuckoo#kinda#well a different Cuckoo#esme cuckoo#marvel#x men comics#ms marvel#kamala khan#marvel comics#ms marvel no limits#mini series#magnificent ms marvel#Ms Marvel generations#nyx 2024#x men#stepford cuckoos
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Chapter One of the tentatively named
Days of Ultramar.
I have no idea how many chapters, but several for sure.
Honestly, everything aches. But Mirian keeps the smile on her face as she makes her way through the corridors. Years of being reminded she is a Valerius telling her not to show weakness. The expression on her face probably shows more strain than she likes.
The Fortress of Hera looks quite unchanged from her memories. But the different faces is a stark reminder that she is ten thousand years in the future. She can scarcely believe it. Pushing the thought back into a box. If she dwells on it too much she might break down in tears right in the middle of the Fortress.
Finally she arrives at Guilliman’s office door. Knocking firmly on the ornate surface. In no time there is a very deep voice telling her to come in.
Roboute’s eyes widen as his eidetic memory provides a name he has not thought of for a long time. He finds himself standing up. “Mirian? Lady Mirian Valerius?”
The smile on her face brightens, becoming less strained. “Roboute Guilliman. It’s been a long time.”
He rounds his desk with surprising speed for his massive size. Roboute was always tall, but this makes her feel as small as a bug. Especially as he takes her hand and kisses it gently, like a gentleman. His hand could crush both of hers.
“It seems things have changed considerably since I was last here.” She smiles.
At his urging, she tells a story that makes Roboute’s blood boil. Though she doesn’t state it in so many words, it is clear to him that the Inquisition has been less than kind.
He finds himself promising to do everything he can to aid her. She might not be one of his brothers, but here is another person who remembers Ultramar that was. That is something.
She nods. “I’m grateful, Roboute.” Retrieving an ancient dataslate from inside her dress. “I was not the only one thrown into this future. The crew and other passengers will need support to make ourselves a place in this millennium.”
Taking the dataslate, he muses that she is definitely a daughter of House Valerius. They always looked after their own people. Very well known for their philanthropy and dedication.
Reading her report, he finds it is concise and clearly laid out. Not something he expected. But it is gratifying.
“Of course, Lady Mirian. You and yours are more than welcome to stay on Macragge as long as you wish. The extra hands will be very helpful.”
Then, her face grows serious. “What of Calth? The Inquisition made some concerning remarks. I believe a lot have happened in these millennia.”
Roboute wishes his mother was here. She would be far better suited to explaining the utter shitshow of stupidity that has become of his Father’s Imperium.
He guides Lady Mirian to the visitor’s chair, retrieving a dataslate from a drawer. Pulling up the report on the state of the Imperium he compiled after his return, and pulling up the pages on Ultramar.
Passing it to her with a remark that many things have happened.
Watching her read in between his endless paperwork. That fair face turning so pale her freckles look black by comparison. He is impressed by how she does not cry. Emperor knows he wanted to.
Her slender hand reaches out, snatching the glass sitting on his desk.
Pausing with it halfway to her mouth she wrinkles her nose, voice shaky. “While I can use a drink at this point, this might be a little too strong.”
He chuckles ruefully as he takes the glass back. “Far too strong. This is Mjød, a drink from my brother Leman’s homeworld. As far as I know it would make you go blind.”
She leans forward, looking at him intently. “Roboute…how can I help?” Voice heavy with concern.
It’s been so long since anyone addressed him like that. Like a man, not a demigod. She actually seems to see how tired he is.
“We can talk about that tomorrow. You look like you could use some rest, Lady Mirian. I will have someone show you and your party to guest quarters.” He needs to focus. He keeps wanting to go scream at the Inquisition, and that would have horrific consequences.
She nods, standing up regally. “Thank you, Roboute.”
At this very point, an Ultramarine with a plumed helmet enters his office. Cato Sicarius. Who does a double take at the woman standing in his Primarch’s office. Even more so when Roboute introduces Lady Mirian Valerius.
Cato snorts, making a remark about how she is very late to her wedding.
Her explanation about a warp storm does little to mollify Sicarius, so Roboute settles for calling a serf to escort Lady Mirian. Before Cato causes a diplomatic incident.
Fortunately Sicarius is not immune to disappointed looks from his Primarch. Behaving long enough to get Mirian out of there.
Roboute glares at Cato as she leaves. Demanding an explanation for his behavior.
Mirian is glad to be out of there. That was even more awkward than she had feared. Thank goodness for Roboute.
Not wanting to dwell too much on the Marine who looked so much like her Chairon. But he can’t have been. Not with the way he had looked at her so blankly, like a stranger.
She busies herself seeing to the rest of her companions and crew being properly housed, their needs seen to.
This, at least , hasn’t changed. If anything Roboute Guilliman’s household seems to be run so efficiently it would make Tarasha Euten proud.
In the process she does run into a Marine named Uriel Ventris, with a delightfully thick Calth accent. It may not be her Calth, but something does remain of her homeworld. Not everything has ceased to exist.
Far too soon everyone is settled, and so she accepts Ventris’ offer of sharing a drink and talking about Calth.
The place he takes her to is full of Ultramarines, but right now she doesn’t want to be alone with her thoughts. She can deal with a few stares.
Chairon’s attention keeps drifting to the woman talking to Ventris. A baseline sharing a drink with Astartes is strange enough. But the things she speaks of…he is getting more and more certain she somehow remembers his Calth. Her stories are too familiar, so full of raw emotion. Bringing hazy memories of the past into clarity. And the more he watches her talk, the more it feels familiar. Like it’s almost a memory, one he can almost but not quite remember.
Something about that hair, too. The way she gets more and more animated.
Then Sicarius comes over to complain that a woman of her supposed status shouldn’t be drinking so much.
Her response makes Titus wince in sympathy. He is very familiar with the urge to drink after being questioned by the Inquisition.
As Titus gets up to intervene, Chairon feels a strange sensation of jealousy. Like it should be him standing next to her, protecting her.
Cato finally slinks away after she stomps on his foot and calls him on ungentlemanly behavior.
Leaving Titus and Ventris to escort the last daughter of an extinct house safely to bed. Poor thing. She was far less destructive than most, just talkative. Very few people would begrudge her a bit of drinking.
Chairon sits there for what seems like forever, worrying at the almost formed memory. It’s starting to annoy him. But it feels important.
Titus has to carry Mirian into her room. Between them he and Uriel manage to get her sandals off and tuck her into bed. That pretty dress will probably be wrinkled in the morning, but neither of them is going to do anything untoward.
“I’m worried.” Ventris admits as they leave. Titus nods. That is one desperately lonely person. He can relate to having lost everything. And she can’t even get any of it back. The passage of time is cruel like that.
“Should maybe introduce her to Gadriel’s girlfriend.” Titus muses in a low voice. Ventris nods. He’s met Ellie. She might be a good choice, as unforgettable and unstoppable as she is.
#warhammer 40k#warhammer 40k oc#oc: mirian of calth#macragge#ultramar#ultramarines#roboute guilliman#primarch#uriel ventris#chairon#demetrian titus#cato sicarius#my writing#my oc
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I really appreciate the response! I think this is really interesting and there is a lot I agree with, but I kind of want to start off by clarifying what I mean in the tags because re-reading them I realize it was a bit muddled.
I disagree with Schnee's argument that the themes aren't clear or at least his argument that they aren't simple. I can easily simplify Jayce and Viktor's arcs and conflict down to a couple sentences and they are all very interesting on their face, but I do have issues with their execution. In some ways, I do agree with Schnee that there are ways in which the conflict that is conveyed can be overly complicated or unclear, especially when it comes to Viktor.
Like you said Viktor's arc is fascinating. The base idea of what his change and conflict is about is tragic, but my core issues are that so much of it is skipped over due to time that a lot of the tragedy of his arc is dulled for me with certain beats feeling incredibly rushed and the show itself doesn't seem to have a clear answer for how much the hexcore was influencing Viktor and how much was of his own free will.
My personal interpretation is that Viktor dies in the bombing and when Jayce brings him back with the hexcore parts of him are altered, primarily his connection to his emotions like his empathy, which allows for Viktor to justify his "improvements" without looking at the deeper consequences of his actions unlike in season 1 where the negative consequences stopped him. This allows for the hexcore to manipulate him more subtly without pushback from Viktor.
When Viktor is shot by Jayce that moment is meant to push him over the edge and lose his faith in humanity. He gives himself over fully to the hexcore. It's only through Ekko breaking through the hexcore's hold on Viktor that his humanity is able to show through again.
And even that interpretation is something I came to after hours of thinking about it and re-watching the season. I haven't seen a single person have a clear understanding of what the balance is and I don't think the show does a good job of conveying that balance in this season. In the first, it's very clear and easy to follow, but the second season loses that clarity to me.
I think there are aspects of a character that should be up to interpretation. That's part of what makes characters interesting and talking to other people about media fascinating, but in this case it doesn't feel like the vagueness was intentional to make you ponder the idea of free will.
My next point is that while I absolutely love the last interaction between Viktor and Jayce-- it's genuinely one of the beats in the finale that works the best for me-- the line "You've always wanted to fix what you viewed as imperfections..." rung hollow for me because that's not what we're shown in the first season.
Initially, Viktor is driven by his ambition and desire to improve lives. He wants to be a part of technological progress, but that technological progress that we're shown before the reveal of his sickness isn't rooted in fixing imperfections. It manifests more in tactile tools for making work easier in the fissures (the gauntlets and the laser) and improving trade between Piltover and the world through the hexgates. Even when he starts working on the hexcore it's not out of desire to remove imperfections.
He eventually moves to self-modification not out of an initial desire to remove "imperfections" but because he's learned he's dying and hasn't left the legacy that he wanted. I think you can argue that the scene where he runs for the first time is the shift in this belief-- and I can definitely get behind that-- but again that's after everything else that's happened. It never felt like it was Viktor's goal from the beginning.
I want to make it clear that my issue with that final scene isn't the intent. I love the message that the final scene between Jayce and Viktor gives about Viktor's disability. That is a beautiful message to have. My problem has to do with its framing.
I could definitely be missing something! If other people have a different interpretation of Viktor's arc or the balance between Viktor's free will and the hexcore absolutely feel free to counter me. I would love to hear it.
Wow... that was really long. You apologized for the essay I am definitely worse. Haha. I do want to address your criticisms before I finish though. (whoops it's getting longer)
I felt the same way you did about the shift away from the conflict between Vi and Jinx. Their story is very emotionally affecting on a personal level for me and this lack of relevancy is an issue for me and the show in a few ways. There are 3 main reasons I think this is ultimately an issue.
1. The show doesn't pivot away from the civil war between Zaun and Piltover (the story Vi and Jinx are intimately tied to) to the conflict with the arcane (The conflict Jayce and Viktor are tied closest to) very well. It isn't until episode 6 that they really shift to the arcane as the main conflict and by that point it's more than halfway through the season and there isn't enough time to explore this the way I felt like it needed to be.
Like you, I also believe the Zaun and Piltover plot doesn't get a satisfying conclusion. They didn't even make it clear that Caitlyn gave her seat to Sevika. You have to just see that she's in the same seat as Cassandra was in the first season and somehow infer that's what happened. This could have been easily remedied with like a 2 second fade from Caitlyn standing at the seat to Sevika if they were really pressed for time.
While I do love episode 7 and I fully understand why people would argue it's the best episode of the show, I wasn't a fan of how much it simplified the conflict between the two cities. It placed so much of the blame on hextech rather than the complex societal and systemic issues that it was really rooted in. (that the first season itself showed us was the root cause!)
2. I do want to be a bit fair and admit that I think part of the struggle people had with the shift away from Vi and Jinx's conflict was a marketing issue. Both trailers emphasize the fact that this is an end to Vi and JInx's story. The first trailer especially focuses on the sisters, their conflict, and the brewing civil war between Zaun and Piltover.
It straight up says in the trailer that this is the end of the sisters' story, which really makes it seem like it will come down to them, but that wasn't the case.
3. this one is something that Schnee does state in his video and that's the fact that the conclusion to the sister's story isn't tied into the conclusion of the main conflict. Vi and Jinx's fight against Warwick doesn't have an effect on the outcome of the battle at all. They could both die in this battle or they could win and it wouldn't change the outcome of the conflict at all.
Jinx is a bit more understandable because they have her arrival with Ekko changes the tide of the battle against Ambessa completely. Caitlyn would have died and Piltover would have lost if she didn't show up when she did. And it's her dodging the beam meant for her that makes it so that Ekko doesn't get controlled by Viktor and can save the day.
But Vi is the one that's a bit more egregious to me because she doesn't do a single thing to effect the outcome of this conflict at all. She's another soldier on the battlefield. One we care about, but not unique in her contributions at all. If she wasn't there the outcome still would have been the same and that's an issue to me.
If the conclusion to the sister's story was more important to the conclusion to the story as a whole I think it would have been easier to accept the way the story shifts to being centered around Viktor and Jayce's conflict.
The last point I want to address that you made is the fact you didn't like "how Jayce immediately chose violence after coming back instead of trying to reach out to Viktor like he did eventually".
I also agree with this point. I will admit that, while I liked Jayce's half of episode 7 and the end of Jayce's interaction with future Viktor, I felt like it made me more confused about why Jayce immediately shot Viktor upon arriving at the commune. His conversation with future Viktor doesn't tell him the only way to stop Viktor is to kill him, it instead has Viktor telling Jayce that he's the only one who can show him the truth of his actions. Which... how did Jayce get "Viktor has to die" from that conversation?
I can understand Jayce feeling like he has to Kill Viktor or the people at the commune if the victims of Viktor's "glorious evolution" had been attacking him the entire time he was there or future Viktor told him that present Viktor would never see the error of his ways until it's too late, but that wasn't the case. Again, I could definitely be missing something.
I do genuinely like what they did with Jayce. The idea that your dream that you fought so hard to make a reality brings about the opposite outcome of what you wanted and you now have to destroy it is incredibly fascinating. I think many people, myself included, can relate to having a dream not turn out the way you wanted or you've had to let it go. It's something that's difficult and genuinely compelling. It just had some noticeable bumps in the execution for me.
I know a lot of this was criticism, but I think a lot of the things I pointed out have a positive side to them as well. Viktor's story, while muddled in a few ways, does present a lot of interesting themes and ideas. The sisters' story does get a lot of fantastic focus in the second act which I absolutely loved. I adored being able to see them as sisters again. I already pointed out what I loved about Jayce's story.
It's just that nagging comparison to the first season that did everything so perfectly that makes the missteps of this season that much more noticeable.
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I actually think this video is really interesting. Not because I fully agree with it (there are a lot of points in the video I don't agree with and a lot that I do), but because I appreciate its intent.
I also fall in the same boat where I really liked the second season, but I didn't love it like I did the first and I appreciate that this is a video that wants to start a conversation. He wants to talk about why things didn't necessarily work for him, why it didn't seem to have the same impact as the first, and about how he wants to hear why those things might have worked for others.
So much discourse about this season has framed it as either the best thing ever, above any criticism, or the worst thing ever with no redeeming qualities and it's made it very frustrating and demoralizing to try and talk about it online.
I want to talk about how I loved aspects of this show and that I was also let down by certain aspects of the show as well, but anytime I try and talk about criticism it's rarely met with a genuine conversation.
I would love to hear how people interpreted things differently from me, why they felt that way, how it connected with them, because I feel like that's the purpose of stories. It's never going to resonate with anyone the same way and there may have been things I missed.
I also know I haven't always worded what I've wanted to say and my criticisms the way I want to get across what I mean. It has never been my intent to sound like I wasn't open to discussion, different interpretations, or counterpoints. I would like to actually talk more about this season and hear other people's thoughts as well.
#sorry for the very long response#I had a lot of thoughts#and I felt like what you put forward was interesting!#if anyone disagrees with my points or I missed something#please feel free to disagree#I want to hear other perspectives#some things that didn't work for me#might work for someone else#or maybe you had an interpretation that I didn't#I could have missed the mark on a few points#Viktor especially is a character#I don't think I have a firm grasp on#and I didn't relate to him in the same way#I know many other people did#which I think brings a different perspective to his actions#that I would have missed
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