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[ancha-aus]

Gifted Drabble - New Age AU - When Summer becomes Spring

I did it! I actually did it! I finished the scheme! @spotaus it took so long but i did it! so I have been working on this for a while! And as you can see it is New Age AU. But with a twist!!

This is not the main AU. this is like an alternative world to that AU. You people know about King!Dream version but this isn't quite that. This is more of a No!King version hihi.

Now. This is more like a one shot or a collection of multiple drabbles all set in the alternative timeline for NewAgeAU. Wtih that out of the way.

Warning! Abuse, esxual abuse, rape, technically underaged and so underaged sexual abuse. NOTHING GRAPPHIC! But it is mentioned and refered and spoken about. I just want you people to be warned just in case. Again. Nothing grapphic in that department. What else. MPreg, again mentioned and used as plotpoint but nothing specific in that way. Character deaths are also in there. Child dead.

It may be a bit of a heavy and long one woopsie. it is 35K words long haha.

*-----------------------------------------*

No one knew what had caused it.

What had gone wrong.

For both the princes, at the same time, had fallen ill.

Ccino runs through the halls as he ignores guards or other servants call out as he rushes past. He is thankful for his small build as it is easier to dodge arms and hands trying to stop him. He ignores the few people he bumps against as he rushes down the hall.

His chores had just finished, he would have preferred to not have to do them at all but no one would allow him to ask one of his few friends to do it for him as he remained with his boys.

Meaning he had rushed them and hadn’t bothered to double check. There were probably some mistakes but he doesn’t care. He needs to get to Nightmare and Dream!

He runs through the hall and the guards guarding the royal wing cross their spears. Ccino glares at them even as he is a head smaller. His breathing is hardly faster than his normal walking as he is beyond used to running “I have the right to enter and leave the royal wings.” He raises a brow as he motions towards the obvious apples adoring his clothing. The sign of his future standing and role and showcases his belonging to the royal family. It used to creep him out, it still does, but for now it has its uses.

It means that the guards let him pass as he rushes towards the right room.

He enters the large bedroom of the twins but it didn’t look in anyway like it used to. Before it would be a curious mix of sun and moon designs with two soft beds nearby and many beautiful little night lights of stars. The large windows in the perfect position to see the rising sun and a window near the ceiling to see the stars and moon at night. The large bookcase full of children books and stories that Ccino would read to the two as they sat in the large reading chair with Ccino. Easily fitting all three of them with room to spare.

Now the room was filled with people. All kinds of healers and doctors form all over the country. The twins had been laid right next to one another, separating the two seemed to unbalance their souls even more than the illness had caused.

Ccino rushes to the twins sides and feels his soul start to break all over again. Both their faces are twisted in pain. Nightmare seems to shudder with each breath, as if he can’t quite get his body to breath. Dream meanwhile is breathing fast, almost as if he is having a panic attack. Nightmare is burning up while Dream is freezing to the touch. Nightmare’s magic seems to be overcharged as Dream’s magic is almost all gone. Nightmare seems to be unable to move as Dream spasms every few seconds and had full blown seizures.

Ccino goes towards the twins and holds both of them, one hand in each of his. One hand feeling as if he is holding a fire while the other feels as if he dipped it in ice. He makes sure to keep holding on tightly to them both. “Hey there buddies…” he speaks softly. Ignoring the people around them working on trying to cure the twins.

Nightmare makes a soft noise as Dream’s eyes opens. Nightmare hadn’t been able to open his sockets himself, and when his sockets were opened for him he couldn’t make his eye lights appear to see. it scared him. Dream meanwhile could see but was unable to speak. Dream stares at him for a moment before he gives a tiny smile as he tries to wiggle a bit closer. Ccino makes sure to rub Dream’s hand with his thumb as he mutters “It is okay sweet Dream. I am here.” He makes sure that Dream heard alright and that seems the case and Dream obviously relaxes. Before his face turns to one full of pain as he shudders and whines softly, but Dream’s hand holds so tightly unto his and Ccino keeps rubbing his hand. Dream relaxes after a moment and pants quickly as Ccino focusses on Nightmare “Hey little Nightlight. I am sorry it took me so long to get here.”

Nightmare grumbles and mutters. His words slurred and not all clear “n-n-o… s-ss-orry…” he whines as he gasps to try and breath as he sweats.

Ccino hums softly to both of them as he keeps holding their hands. He wishes he could just grab both and hold them close. Like he had done for the last seven years of their shared lives. But the first time he tries to hold the twins close the doctors and healers all yelled and screamed at him. Nim had locked him out of the room of the twins for two full days and he ended up only being allowed in as the action had just distressed both twins more.

Now they had to keep it to handholding and a few soft kisses as he hums and talks to them. Hoping to offer a tiny bit of support where he can.

The door opens and Nim walks in. She stares at the scene before looking… disappointed? Annoyed? Ccino isn’t sure as he just dips his head. Making sure to show respect to the god walking this world. Nim walks over towards the healers and they get into a quiet conversation.

Ccino isn’t told what the situation is for obvious reasons. But he still wishes he knew. He still wishes someone would tell him what is wrong with his boys. What is hurting them so and how he can help them feel better.

Nim frowns as she speaks louder “What you are telling me. Is that it is no illness?”

The healer shakes as he answers, seems like even Nigel and Mar don’t have answers. And while a part, an ugly part, of Ccino finds glee and the two healers having to deal with anger from Nim. Ccino would have preferred to both be praised and complimented, because it would mean they would have cured his two.

Mar shakes as she almost sobs to answer “It isn’t anything we have ever heard of before! The magic! It isn’t normal! Something… Something is infecting the magic in them! Changing and pulling and there is no way to control it. No way to change its direction.”

Ccino acts as if he isn’t listening while in reality he pays close attention. That… Why would… Ccino thinks he knows what they are talking about. They are talking about It, aren’t they? But that doesn’t make sense. Because It had never seemed hostile. It was nice! Ccino can know as It always helped him get to place and helped him keep his balance! Why would It ever hurt the twins like this?

Nim frowns as she stares at the twins. Her eyes are cold and Ccino feels the need to hide both the boys from view but… he can’t do that. She is their mother. They both love her. He can’t come between that love. Between them. He remains seated.

Nim looks at the healer “What solutions do you have?”

Nigel looks nervous but none of the doctors answer making them have to take the front and center “A magical transfuse.”

Nim raises a brow and nods “Make it happen.” She goes to turn towards the door.

Nigel speaks up again “My liege! I apologise.” They bow before continuing to speak “We can’t just use any magic. They are young and their souls are fragile. They would need magic from a direct family member.”

Nim frowns as she watches them. Ccino however feels hope and relieve. Nim just needs to donate a bit of her magic to both the twins! It is so easy! She has more magic than anyone with her god status and both his boys would be bright and happy again!

Nim watches Nigel for a long time “And if I do not?”

Ccino’s soul feels cold as he stares. He… he understands why she never helped him or showed him mercy. He is but a dumb boy… but these are her sons. The crown princes! The long awaited and praised twins! Why… why would she… why wouldn’t she?

Nigel looks down as they speak “The only alternative is… to transfuse all of one of the two’s magic to the other.” They straighten their back “I will start with getting the procedure ready to transfer the younger twin’s magic towards our crown prince.”

Ccino is frozen. He is scared. No… no… They can’t… He glances down and realise with horror that both of them heard everything. Nightmare looks scared as he whines softly, his little hand shaking in Ccino’s own. Dream however just stares horrified. Shaking his skull and clearly trying to speak. Dream looks begging at Ccino as he keeps shaking his skull. Ccino gulps as he slowly gets up. His body shaking “Sirs…” Both look towards him. Nigel with obvious annoyance and rage as Nim just looks passive. Ccino feels his body want to run. Even so he pushes through. His boys need him. They are counting on him. Ccino focusses fully on his next sentence “They… neither of them wants this… this!” he stresses the words “Dream doesn’t want Nightmare to die to save him! Nightmare doesn’t want to die!” He can see Dream nodding as much as he can. Nightmare is breathing quickly as he clearly focusses on them. Ccino looks down and speaks “Please! Don’t do that! I beg you.” To finish off he falls to his knees as he kneels and remains in the position to either pray or beg.

Please.

Please.

A soft chuckle and even softer steps. The heat of Nim gets closer and Ccino remains begging and praying as a warm, much too hot hand, traces his cheek before making him look at Nim. Nim looks with unguarded glee at him “Oh how much you remind me of her… Just as pretty… Just as caring… Just as shining.” The hand keeps stroking his cheek and Ccino ignores the sick feeling that appears in his gut and feels it push up his throat.

Ccino finds his voice “Please… Please don’t…”

Nim giggles again as she remains staring at him gleefully “How could I say no to such pretty begging?”

Ccino feels a bit of hope return. Nim nods as she nudges him back up to his feet, a second hand strokes his other cheek and Ccino starts to feel uneasy. This… this is a new thing that has been happening ever since people declared him fourteen. Nim calling him over to her. Usually she just stares at him for a moment before sending him away again. A few times she ordered him to wear some fancy clothes and stuff. And a very few times she would do stuff like this, touching his face in some way. It feels bad… really bad…

He hides the discomfort as he waits patiently. Nim hums as she looks at healer Nigel “We will not do the procedure.” Ccino feels intense relieve and sees Dream looking a bit happier as Nightmare’s breathing calms a bit.

Nim hums as she walks towards her boys with one last stroke of Ccino’s skull. Ccino remains in place as he stands straight. He waits impatiently as Nim walks over to his boys. Just a quick boost of magic is all she needs to give them and both will be fine again! Ccino will make sure they take it easy of course. Make sure they heal and that everything truly is stable in their magic. Oh! Ccino can make them some cinnamon buns! He hopes the import of spices has arrived yet. Then he can make the best version of the nice treat! He knows it is one of Dream’s favourites and Nightmare always enjoys them as well!

Nim stands by the two small beds. She is bright and shines through the room. Nim hums “Such a shame. So much wasted time. But imperfection will just harm my legacy.”

Everything feels cold.

What?

A hand reaches down towards Nightmare first. She goes straight towards his chin. She tilts the small skull up before her hand moves down. It removes the blanket covering Nightmare and hovers over the spot of his sternum for a moment.

A loud and wet crack.

She…

She…

A moment later Nim pulls his hand back. A very small purple soul in her hand as Nightmare lays completely still. Mouth still open from his scream of pain but having gone quiet almost instantly. He shudders and shakes as Nim raises the soul high. One hand holding the purple soul she turns away from her dying son. She focusses on Dream.

Dream stares at her. Shocked and confused and… scared… Dream glances around and reaches towards him.

Ccino doesn’t think as he starts to run towards him but a hand grabs him. Ccino doesn’t bother to look around as he tugs and pushes at the hand holding his arm “No let go! Let go. Dream!” he stresses the prince’s name as he stares back. Dream is shaking as he stares at Nim with pure fear.

Nim looks at him coldly “A shame. I truly thought you would be perfect. Yet you failed me. You made me do this. You are the one who forced my hand.” Dream shakes and tries to speak but nothing leaves his mouth.

Nim holds her hand above his sternum but instead of punching her way towards the soul and breaking everything she flexes open her hand. Dream shudders and his mouth falls open in a silent scream. His sternum behind his shirt lights up bright yellow and Ccino can smell the scent of burning monster matter.

Moments later the soul is forced out of his body, having been made to burn a way out. Tears are streaming his face as he reaches towards Nim. Nim just holds the two small souls by her face. Not even looking into Dream’s direction. Dream tries to reach but his arm and hand quickly fall towards the bed. Shaking and in pain as the very thing that makes him him has been removed from him. Stolen from him.

Ccino shakes his skull but can’t find any words. The hand keeps an iron grip on him as he tugs at it. The souls… The twins need their souls and-

Nim opens her mouth which seems to rip open her cheeks and part of her neck. Much larger and sharper than ever before.

And she eats the souls.

And the twins are dust.

Ccino feels every bit of fight leave his body.

They…

They are… gone?

But…

But… what about… They were…

Nim hums and frowns “Much weaker than either should have been.” She glances back and chuckles “Oh no need to be so dramatic.” Soft steps and his face is raised to look up at her.

Oh… he had fallen to his knees… didn’t he?

Nim brushes his cheek with her thumb and Ccino sees the finger come back wet.

Oh… he is crying…

Nim chuckles again but there is a warning edge to her voice “Remember what I told you dear. Crying makes you wrinkle. You are not allowed to cry.”

Ccino wants to scream. He wants to break something. But as soon as the thoughts are there they are gone. Because it wouldn’t matter. His twins are still gone…

Ccino sobs as he shakes “Why… why… Why did you… kil-” He chokes on the word and sobs as his whole body shakes. His soul hurts. He doesn’t care if she is mad at him anymore. He doesn’t care about anything.

Please.

Please he will do anything.

Please give them back.

Nim chuckles “Oh it was needed dear. I can’t waste such a precious resource as magic. It was much better for me to take the magic that I originally given them back.” She sighs “It will complicate things as there is a schedule as for when the ritual needs to take place. But it will have to do for now.” she pats his cheek twice “Now. You go back to your room and clean up too. From now on when you are done with your chores but you are still on the clock I expect you to be in the throne room to serve me.” She straightens her back and wipes off some dust off… off her… her dress..

She is acting as if it is just some dust… and not… as if it isn’t all that is left of.. left of…

Ccino feels a guard nudge him and he raises to his feet. He bows and leaves the room. He staggers back to his room and enters.

He falls to the ground and starts sobbing as he hugs himself. They are gone.

No more bedtime stories. No more playing games. No more watching Dream proudly perform a magic trick. No more sharing good books with Nightmare. No more watching them play and joke around.

They are gone…

The only lights in this hell.

Gone…

--

Ccino still feels as if he is stuck in a haze. Or maybe like he is stuck underwater?

Three years have passed and he still misses the twins every single day. He keeps expecting to turn around and spot them in the doorway. To reach out when he is barely awake and feel them laying close for warmth and cuddles.

But each time he is forced to realise the cruel reality.

They are gone.

One of the panels on the wall shifts slightly. Showing a small hiding hole.

Ccino ignores it as he keeps walking.

He knows now what the price of It is. And Ccino regrets ever accepting It’s help.

Ccino remembers as if it is yesterday. It is the only clear day he still fully remembers. Everything else blurs together. He had been crying for hours. He had felt empty and exhausted but he had been unable to sleep…

Because he had been thinking…

Ccino continues to stare at the dark stone of the ceiling above him. His sockets still itch and hurt as he is all out of tears. He can’t… How is he even supposed to do anything now? He was… he was there for the twins… He loves them both so much. It hurts so much.

But the fear. The fear of a single thought that would not leave him.

His throat feels cry and painful after all his crying but he still whispers into his dark room “Are… Are you here? Can you… hear me?”

Nothing happens for a moment. Everything is the same as always when. The noise from outside of his room seems to disappear. Ccino isn’t sure if he is starting to see things but the ceiling itself seems to move slightly. As waves in a puddle.

Ccino struggles to speak through his dry throat “Please… Please just… just tell me… did… did you do it? Did you make them ill?” Are you the reason why they were killed?

There is no voice. No clear answer. More shifting and his door creaks a little before silence returns.

Ccino feels close to crying “Please… Did… did you make them ill? Just move anything if you did…” There is more silence and for a moment Ccino feels hopeful but then movement by his window. Ccino turns his skull and watches as the latch on it slowly unlocks. It opens and Ccino can feel the small breeze enter his room. It makes him shiver even as the air from outside is warm and dry. The scent of the warm night slowly fills his room as he sobs again.

He rolls unto his side as he hugs himself closer. Rolling up as far as he can as he starts crying all over again.

The price for this thing’s help had been the twin’s health.

Ccino is an idiot.

Nothing is ever free.

Not far from him a statue moves a tiny bit. Instead of going towards that he keeps going straight.

He stopped using It’s tunnels all together.

As effect it obviously meant that his workflow and skills seemed to worsens but he honestly doesn’t care. He does not care what others think or say about him. It doesn’t matter anymore. Maybe it never actually mattered.

The first week his work results took a nose dive people just assumed it had been as he was distracted with the loss of the twins. That he was grieving. After that they would make comments about him having gotten slower. Ccino would just lie with a straight face that this was as fast as he had always been able to go.

He was in luck. As the people in charge like to be right and amazing. They reasoned themselves into believing that Ccino had just always been slow compared to the others. And that they had been merciful and nice enough to let him go at the pace he was possible. Because even if he wasn’t the fastest anymore his quality was by far the best.

Running steps are his only warning before something, or someone, smashes into him and he falls back on the ground. He groans as his body aches with leftover burns and scratches from the day before. Luckily that is all his fall did, irritate already existing sores and pains. He looks up and tilts his skull slightly.

He hasn’t seen this person before. He looks the other over very quickly. They are a human, male maybe? They seem young as they stare with large eyes at him. He is dressed in a very basic guard uniform without any weapons and no extra markings. Not yet a cadet? Maybe a rookie? Trainee?

They are staring shocked at him with their hands raised. Seemingly unable to decide if they want to help him up or not.

That is when they glance at his face and sputter “I-! I am so sorry! Please sir! I know I should- I mean I should have watched where I was going! Please forgive me!” and he bows deeply.

Ccino immediately feels uneasy but it is to be expected. He raises a hand and gives a small smile. Trying to steer this conversation away from whatever territory it is going “It is alright. Accidents happen. No harm no foul.” He rises to his feet and makes sure no dirt remains on his clothing. He gives the other another smile “Hello. Nice to meet you. I am Ccino. Who are you?” and he waits.

The other keeps looking down with obvious shame on his face “I am Rogers. I am so terrible sorry sir. I swear I didn’t mean to.”

Ccino looks away as he rubs his arms “It is alright… and no need for sir. I don’t really…” he isn’t sure how to say what he wants. He decides to go for a slightly different approach. “Not to forget, I am pretty sure you are older. Though I will have to admit I am not the best with estimating ages for humans.” And he smiles.

The other at least seems to relax a little bit as Ccino remains calm. He still looks embarrassed and guilty but he is at least looking up “Thank you for… Thank you. I am still new and started shortly ago.” He rubs his neck as he looks down again “Still getting an basic idea for where what is and I was running late.”

Ccino needs to think for a moment “Oh! You were with the new recruits that arrived two weeks ago?” Strange that the guard already let those in training wander around. Not his responsibility luckily but still, that seems a bit early “In that case I will not keep you.” he gives his usual half bow as he continues walking down the fall. After a few steps he however stops and turns around “Oh. And Recruit Rogers?”

Rogers is still standing in the spot he was before. Looking at him curiously and waiting “Yes sir?”

Ccino ignores the title for now as he speaks “You want to go left at the first chance you get. Then go straight and you will end up at the stairs leading towards the main hall.” And he turns back to continue walking on towards his destination.

He thinks Rogers says something but he can’t quite hear it before he hears the other run towards his goal. Ccino doesn’t mind. He is used to being isolated.

Even if it got a lot worse lately.

Ccino glances into the reflection of the glass, and while he can’t see his own face quite that clearly he can see the large chain around his neck. Interwoven with his upper spine and collarbones to make it secure and a pain to remove even if he wanted to. And Ccino isn’t a big enough idiot to try and remove it. He knows the consequences.

Personally? The idea of getting molten gold casted on him to truly form fit something does not sound appealing. He will take the interwoven and slightly uncomfortable golden chains over that option any day.

Ccino doesn’t even hate the discomfort the most. It is annoying but he can handle it. No. It is what ir represents that makes him feel ill to his very soul.

Nim gifted it him when he was assumed to be sixteen. On the anniversary of him being there for nine years. When Nim made his new role perfectly clear for all to see.

Funny…

He had been so very afraid to become a toy and the first harem member for Dream that he worried about it nightly.

Yet in the end he just ended up in Nim’s harem… as the favourite no less.

Is this karma? For him having been so afraid? Had he let it influence him?

Hadn’t been losing the twins enough punishment? For being selfish and asking for help from another god? Instead of serving the god he had been supposed to?

He doesn’t know.

He just feels numb… He is so tired…

He turns another corner and gets to the right room. It is large and decorated with gold fire and large orange gemstones, the same type of gem that is in his necklace. Ccino always thought of it more as a pet collar but maybe that is just him being unthankful again.

He enters the room and glances around. Seems like he got here before Nim. That is good. Nim gets… frustrated when Ccino is late… He enters the dressing room connected to the bedroom and takes just a moment to take a deep breath.

He goes towards the vanity and gets to work on some light make up and paintings. It isn’t a lot. Just some fake magical markings like in Sanctuary. Some extra black by his sockets to make them appear bigger. Highlighting his cheekbones. He ends up staring at himself in the mirror.

He never liked seeing himself… It brought back memories that just hurt… But this past year he had been forced to look at it a lot as he got ready for evenings with Nim or when he had to go with her to places.

He is just so tired.

Ccino sighs before walking towards one of the many rows of hangers with dresses. Ccino can’t help but feel the return of his annoyance and distaste. He has started to really dislike dresses. It isn’t because he thinks they aren’t beautiful. It is just… Nim likes him to wear them. The way Nim speaks about how they look on him and showcase his best features.

It makes him feel gross.

Still he grabs one of the pink dresses. Knowing those go rather well with the orange gem as he gets dressed. Immediately feeling exposed with the open back and the cut in the side almost all the way up to his pelvis.

He truly hates it.

Even so after getting ready he sits on the bed and waits. Trying to not think about what will happen once again and trying to not panic.

It is no use to panic after all.

His mind thinks back to when he first lost his twins… the pain it brought back. He had been unable to do much but cry that first week. Unable to focus and missing them so badly. The idea to quickly get a memento of them had appeared in his mind. Just a little something to keep in his room and hug close when the grieve got too much.

He had ran towards their room the first chance he got. Hoping to maybe get Dream’s blanket or a well-loved plushie or maybe Nightmare’s favourite book.

Only to find the room completely bare. Well not completely but it had been completely transformed. Instead of the beautiful yellow and purple walls they had been a neutral light blue. Instead of the two beds with canopies decorated with tiny stars and lights, there had been one queen sized bed in brown colours. The cabinets with their toys and games replaced with a vanity. Their closets filled with their go to outfits for sleep replaced with another closet. All the drawings, the little projects, their homework that would be spread across the room and taped to the wall in their little craft corner, replaced with nothing but a carpet on the ground.

Gone… Everything about them… gone…

Ccino had just stood their frozen and when he asked anyone they had just looked at him as if he was an idiot.

“Why remember them? They are dead and failures. We only serve the living and those who matter.”

The door to the room opens and a soft coo “Oh you look beautiful as always.” Nim sounds content as she walks in. She turns away from him as she starts removing some of her jewellery. Ccino gets to his feet and walks over to undo her cape as always.

Ccino follows through the routine as he pays attention to what Nim says. Nim complains about commoners daring to approach her. Them whining about them not having enough food and needing help and care. Her being annoyed that they can’t appreciate all the works she does into keeping everything perfect!

Ccino hums and nods “It is truly a tragedy they can’t see these things like you my liege.” It had become easier to lie to Nim. Even if it felt uncomfortable, the slave contract interwoven into his being from his young age displeased with him lying to the one he is supposed to serve. It always leaves a nasty taste in his mouth and makes his tongue feel weird. But it is better than telling his honest opinions and making Nim angry.

Nim pauses and turns to him. He was never truly able to read her face with the flames of her fire elemental being. But he knows how to read her voice and her overall body language. She is pleased.

Nim strokes his cheek before holding it again. “Oh Ccino you always know just want to say.” She stares at him for a moment longer, looking pleased “You do truly remind me so much of my dear Lyra.”

That name again. She mentions this Lyra person a lot. Ccino isn’t sure who they are but it seems like they were important.

Nim hums as she takes his hand and leads it towards the bed. Ccino feels the spike of panic before letting himself zone out as best as he can. He can’t zone it all out sadly. The burn of her touch and arousal always hurts. It will always hurt. The way her magic overwhelms and scorches.

But, like always, eventually it ends. His pains still there and the sores much worse. Knowing there are new burns and black marks of where the fire touched. He knows he will need to treat those the next day and inspect his weak and fragile ecto and treat it as best as he can.

Only for it all to happen again the next day.

Even with how tired he feels he can’t fall asleep. Unable to find any comfort or rest as he lays next to the god he was forced to serve. At least until she is done with him or the end of his days.

Whichever happens first.

--

He lets Robin help him out of his complex ballgown as he tries to hide his slight excitement. Trying to play the tired and overwhelmed part.

Robin hums “You know. Our king will soon realise you aren’t actually tired when you want to leave the party.” She shoots him a look as she helps the dressing robe over his shoulders as he puts his arms into the sleeves.

Robin is one of the very few servants that still speaks to him like normal. The others all too afraid of accidentally misstepping and him telling their king that they were disrespectful. It hurts that they think of him like that. It is why he values both Robin and Rogers so much. Robin never stopped seeing him as the rookie servant that joined a little bit after she started. Robin had been helping him since the start and clearly he should have appreciated her more.

Ccino gives a shrug “It is fine. The king prefers to be alone with these parties anyway.” It gives her the chance to look for new curiosities she likes. Looking for new people she wants to keep. Ccino feels bad for making others deal with her but any moment where the focus isn’t on him is welcome.

It had been strange. Nim holding him after a night and asking him if he disliked her spending time with her harem. Ccino hadn’t been completely honest, having been honest would mean telling her he preferred her spending time with the harem. Instead he remained diplomatic and told her that he knew she was a god and that he was but mortal. That there was no way he would be able to keep up with her needs on his own. She had cooed and been so content about his answer. Even if Ccino could have done without the reward she gifted him afterwards. He hadn’t been able to move without something hurting for days.

Robin giggles “You just don’t want to be at the parties.” She grins before a small frown covers her face. She is staring at his hand and Ccino glances down, seeing a very clear burnmark stand out on his white bones. Ccino quickly tugs his sleeve to cover it. Robin doesn’t say a word but does open a drawer to grab some oils before gently applying it to the mark.

Robin whispers softly “Lets hope our king finds some to her liking. She could expend her harem.”

Ccino isn’t sure when Robins started to see the cracks in his mask. When Robin started to realise that Ccino was deeply unhappy. Maybe all that it takes to see through his lies is just spending time with him. Or maybe he is just a shit liar. Probably both… He just hopes his friend won’t do anything foolish. Robin can be quick to act.

Robin hums as she puts the dress away “Well! That is all. I assume you want to be going back to your room soon… Especially as it is a ball night.” and she has the nerve to shoot him an amused look.

Starting to think it is just his lies that are shit.

He keeps looking at her before giving a bright smile as he hums “What can I say. I am very tired.” Robin giggles but doesn’t comment on his answer as she turns back to further clean the dressing room.

“In that case! I hope you have a good night.”

She is very quick to act, and smug for that matter, and sadly very observant.

Ccino quickly flees the room before walking towards the king’s bedroom. Well technically also his he supposes but he never saw it as his, it never felt safe and secure as his old room had felt. He misses it.

Still he enters the dark room. Quiet and empty. The balcony door is open and the soft summer breeze makes the mesh curtains move in it. The moon light shines in which lights the room just enough for him to see.

Ccino closes the door behind him as he sighs in relieve. A moment without the king nearby at last. He hopes she remains at the party for a long time.

He walks over towards the small un suite dressing room and undoes his dressing robes. He drops it on the chair as he walks towards the large bed, larger than any bed has a right to be.

He lays back on it and sighs as he closes his sockets for a moment. It is peacefully quiet as he enjoys it for a moment.

A small shift and he opens his sockets to see another person hanging over him. Completely dark sockets with black tear marks. A large grin on his face. Black leather clothing.

The other grins widely “Well look at this. Here I came to steal a treasure but it seems I found the biggest treasure of all.” The other grins as he raises Ccino’s hand and kisses it “For a god your king is rather dumb to not guard her greatest treasure better.”

Ccino can’t help but snort as he grins at the other “Stop being cheeky.”

The other skeleton grins as he sits upright to make room for Ccino to sit up himself “Just being honest.” Killer shrugs as his bright soul lights up the room in a by now familiar and calming red light. Not as the flames of Nim, no, much softer and less bright. It is a comfort by now.

Ccino smiles at the other “I am happy you are here.”

Killer looks at him and grins “As if you could keep me away. The vines are so easy to climb to get in and around.”

Ccino grins as he leans closer, he can’t help the amusement in his voice “So, what will this dangerous thief do? Now that he has found himself not in the treasure room but with someone else?”

Killer grins as his arms lock around him and kisses his cheek “Pray to the gods he doesn’t believe in that the most beautiful treasure of all finds him worthy.” And he wiggles his eye brows.

Ccino laughs but pulls Kiler down to lay in the bed. Relaxing back as he lets Killer trace his body. Letting his mind, body and soul enjoy the affection and careful touches. Gentle and slow.

It is aleays slow. There is never a rush even if both know the risks. Killer never rushes these nights and Ccino needs them badly.

Ccino met Killer in town one time. When Nim had been showing off her radiance and when Ccino had been dragged outside with her. He had felt exposed and seen as he had been uncomfortable. Only for a strange but handsome skeleton to stop before him. Cheerfully introducing himself and even daring to kiss Ccino’s hand in greeting. Interesting enough though, before he did kiss his hand Killer had asked Ccino if that would be okay. Ccino had been surprised and had in shock nodded his okay.

And that had been it. Nothing else. Killer had gently held his hand before kissing the back oh so softly. Then the guards noticed the skeleton and Killer had ran away as he waved back cheerfully. Shouting about how beautiful and nice he had been. Ccino had replayed the meeting in bed that night. Over and over in his mind as he ignored the trailing hands of Nim. It had made it bearable for a while.

But that was not the only time he saw Killer, only a few days later Killer found the king’s room instead of the treasure room, it had been Killer’s first time being in this exact room. Ccino had been getting ready for the king when Killer just rolled into the room through the open window. They had stared at each other before Ccino had told him he was in the wrong wing to steal valuables. Killer had sputtered and seemed lost for words as his soul had been quickly switching between a round shape and the normal soul shape. In the end Ccino had just mentioned that he could probably just go back outside and go to the west side before finding the treasure he had been looking for.

Ccino is pretty sure that Killer had walked backwards towards the window blindly only to trip and fall out. There had been no crash as Killer had managed to catch himself but it had been close. Ccino hadn’t been able to help himself, he laughed when he heard Killer shout a quick ‘I am okay! I meant to do that!’ it had honestly made his night.

After that? Killer kept showing up. Not every night of course. But at least one time a month if not once a week. Ccino had been excited. Killer brought stories of adventure and freedom. He would describe what he had seen as they both leaned against the balcony railing. Ccino would lean close to hear every secret detail. It painted a picture of the world outside of this castle. Outside of these walls.

It wasn’t until later, almost a year after them meeting, that they got physical. Ccino won’t lie, he loves Killer. Killer had made his life bearable and gave him hope for something else, that there was hope for his life to be better. Ccino knows of course, that one day Killer will grow bored. That the excitement of fucking the king’s consort behind her back would wear off in some way. But for now Ccino greedily held unto these moments.

Even if the first time having sex with Killer had brought him regret. It had been amazing and beautiful and Ccino just felt happy and love. Only for him to realise what he had done. What this would mean for Killer. Back then Ccino had tried to break of their relationship and friendship. Break it off before Nim would realise what happened and kill Killer for it. Ccino didn’t, and still doesn’t, care that he would die for this but Ccino doesn’t want Killer to be punished for Ccino’s mistakes.

But Killer hadn’t wanted to end their nights. End the contact they had.

Which brings them to here. Two years after Ccino met Killer when Ccino had been twenty-two. A year after their secret friendship turned into a secret relationship of sorts. Both knowing that if Nim ever finds out it will mean a terrible end. But neither willing to break it quite yet.

Ccino sighs as he lays in Killer’s arms. Between Killer’s body and Killer’s soul. The warmth of it is welcome to him as he pushes his face by Killer’s collarbone and neck. Feeling content and safe and, well, happy.

Killer is purring up a storm as he holds him “I missed you.”

Ccino snorts as he pushes closer “Not like I am ever anywhere else…” the hands and arms around him tense for a moment before both arms pull him closer. Ccino frowns as he kisses the sternum he is laying against “Sorry. Didn’t mean to bring the mood down.”

Killer just holds him “Please… don’t apologise. It is okay.” a moment of silence “Oh wait! I got you a gift!” Killer sounds very excited.

Ccino turns around just enough to glance up at Killer, seeing him smile brightly “A gift?”

Killer nods and he pulls away to lean over the edge of the large bed, not caring at all that he is showing off his naked bones to the whole world at the moment. Killer sits back upright with a bag in his hands. Ccino sits up a little as he pulls the blanket up with him, making sure to hide the worst old burns and wounds from view. Just because Killer knows doesn’t mean it makes it easier for Killer to see. Ccino doesn’t want him to be in discomfort.

Killer looks a bit guilty “Okay. I lied. It are two gifts!” he grins and holds up a curious red ball with green spikes that make it almost teardrop shaped. Killer hands it to him and Ccino studies it. It is a plant?

Killer grins as he looks excited “It is dragon fruit! It grows on cacti and they are real cool!” he takes the fruit back and takes out his knife. Ccino watches curiously as Killer cuts it open and makes small pieces for him “Here!” he grins.

Ccino knows he shouldn’t and he hesitates “I don’t know Kills… It isn’t yet my eat day…” he only is allowed to eat once every four days… He already ate two days ago…

Killer frowns deeply at what he said before raising it up to him “It is fruit! That is totally fine!” and he waits.

Ccino frowns as he slowly reaches for it “Well… just a little…” he will have to make sure to eat a bit less when it is his meal time again. But Killer truly seems excited… He takes a little piece and looks it over curiously. The inside is white with tiny black dots. He sniffs it before taking a small bite. The taste itself is very light! But it is nice! Ccino eats a bit more but soon stops to not overeat.

Killer frowns but doesn’t mention it as he eats what is leftover. The cleans his hands quickly before opening his bag again before pulling out a-

Wow…

A beautiful crystal and glass statue… in the shape of a beautiful rose. It is truly beautiful. Ccino can’t help but stare as Killer looks a bit nervous as he talks “I… I wanted to get you flowers. But I know with the weather here it would be harder to take care of and I wasn’t sure which would be the best. Not to forget I didn’t want to get you something that would just die because… that is depressing… I figured… I mean if you don’t like it that is fine too. I just. I wanted to get you something cool that would last.”

Ccino smiles at the other. His soul feeling light and feeling giggly on happiness “It is amazing. I love it.” He takes the creation with gentle hands and stares in awe at the many details. It is incredible! The details and colours are just gorgeous even with the low lighting. Ccino smiles as he looks around before getting up to grab one of the glass vases around the room. They are just decorative anyway and he moves it to his side of the bed. He places it on the nightstand and puts the rose into it. He smiles when he notices the muted colours of the vase really make the rose stand out.

He smiles at Killer “Once I get the chance I will move it to my own room. I am not there a whole lot but at least it will be safe.” He snorts as he sees Killer just stare with a small fluster covering his face. His soul is clearly in a heart shape and wobbles madly. Ccino can’t help but laugh softly as he walks over and puts his arms around his neck and leans close to the other “Mmh. Such a lovely gift… It would only be fair if I thanked you.”

Killer is still staring with his mouth slightly open as he nods slowly before sputtering “Only if you want to! Like. Really want to! I am just as happy to just lay with you and talk I swear.”

Ccino smiles as he leans closer but he freezes. He hears heels. Killer and him glance at the door at the same time before Killer curses softly and dives for his clothes covering the floor. Ccino leans over himself to help figure out which are his and which are Killer’s.

They manage to locate the clothes but the door is starting to open and the balcony is just too far away. Killer dives into the walk in closet and Ccino manages to cover himself just in time and act as if he is sleeping when the door opens.

Ccino makes sure his soul and emotional state are both calm, and then he waits and listens.

The heels walk around the room and Ccino realises the issue with Killer being inside the walk in closet. With the fear of what could and would happen to Killer if he is found he turns towards Nim and makes sure to keep his voice open and welcoming “You are back already? Wasn’t the party fun?”

Nim pauses as she turns towards him. The closet door slightly open but she is no longer looking at it “You are still awake?” She leaves the closet for what it is as she walks over. Just a few steps and she towers over him and the bed. She looks highly amused and pleased “Even already ready.”

Ccino finds the right lie to tell quickly “Even if I know you would be at the party there is always a hope you would prefer something else.” The lie burns his tongue and taste vile.

Nim looks very pleased and locks him in so quickly “Always with the compliments. So sweet to me.” Which is followed by a kiss.

The kiss honestly tastes worse than the lie did. Ccino dislikes everything about this but remains relaxed and placid, that way it is over the soonest and with least amount of burns and pain.

Ccino isn’t sure why, but he is just not compatible with Nim, at all. He doesn’t know why, maybe it is because his magic is weak, maybe it is because he is fragile and less healthy. But instead of the fire elemental nature of Nim just feeling warm to him. It burns and stings whenever she is near. Touching feels even worse and Ccino wonders if that is what touching lava feels like. It lingers and even the memory of the touches give an echo of pain.

Nim pulls away looking content as she finishes undressing. Ccino hums as he makes some light conversation “Were none at the party to your liking my king?”  Ccino feels the too hot hand touch his face. His face feels as if it is getting a sunburn already.

Nim looks bright and content as all her four eyes look at him in little upturned half moons “None of them looked interesting at all.” she sighs “Honestly the quality is decreasing.” She looks annoyed. Her gaze shifts around before frowning at the new addition to the room “Mmh… Where did that come from…?”

Ccino hides his anxiety behind a slow blink before lazily looking towards the precious glass rose. He takes a moment to stare at it before humming “I believe… It was a present from one of your many suitors?” the lie fills up his throat as if he ate sand. He just smiles back at Nim.

Nim sighs long and loud as she leans on her hand, still laying over him “Oh I do not remember who gave me this little trinket.” She sighs as she shoots him an amused look “Honestly how am I supposed to keep track of all of them at this point?”

Ccino just nods as he easily tells her what she wants to hear “If you do not remember them they couldn’t have been impressive at all.”

Nim nods again “True, as always my dear.” The term of endearing makes him feel ill. She looks back at the glass statue “What to do with it… mmh. I can’t remember if I had a spot in mind. Any ideas dear?”

Ccino lays back and frowns a tiny bit to make a show of thinking. He hums as he keeps acting as if he is thinking before answering “Well, showing it off would send the wrong message and instead of it just adding to the decorations it could be seen as a statement that the suitor would be unworthy of.”

Nim frowns as he mouth shifts downwards and her many eyes narrow “Them daring to even think that?! How arrogant!!” She sounds enraged and the fire burns hotter.

Ccino nods as he answers with the right sentence “You are perfection. Anyone could only hope to gain your affection.”

Nim’s rage fades as she looks rather smug “That. I am.” She sighs as she waves the flower off without a second thought “I honestly don’t care. It is but a tiny trinket of someone too low to deserve to be on my mind for even a moment.” She looks at him and smiles “You can have it. It fits you.” and she looks amused.

Ccino ignores the dig about how she thinks about him as just a trinket, it isn’t anything new and he got what he wanted, he makes sure to nod and bow his head as much as he can in this position “Thank you my king. You are too kind and giving.” The second part makes it feel like his tongue is being stabbed.

Nim looks so very smug “I truly am. Now. I have needs.” Her hands start to move and as soon as he feels that he stops paying attention. He lets his god and king touch him however she wishes and lets her manipulate his body however she sees fit.

The worst part is honestly that Killer is still stuck in the closet but with him distracting Nim he will be able to escape rather easily.

It isn’t as if this is the first time Killer got locked in and he experienced Ccino doing his purpose and pleasure Nim. Doesn’t make it any easier.

His mind wonders to the first time this happened. Not too long after he and Killer got physical. As that is when Killer started to dare to stay longer. They had been very careful as they both understood the risks but the time they could spend together in bed just laying there. Holding one another and just being together. It made Ccino imagine that he was just a normal person. Just a normal monster who was allowed to get crushes and interests and who fell for the mysterious handsome stranger that would sneak into his room at night to spend time together.

It had been a beautiful fantasy that he could enjoy. So of course it ended up being ruined by Nim appearing earlier than planned. Killer had to hide under the bed itself.

Ccino remains frozen as he feels Nim get up. She sighs happily as Ccino feels the hand stroke his spine. The pain is unbearable but he remains silent. He keeps acting as if he is asleep. Please. Please just leave.

Nim giggles and soon the door closes as she leaves. Leaving him behind alone in the room and Ccino can’t stop himself from holding himself closer as he feels the tears leave his sockets.

The pain… it hurts so badly. But worse is knowing that… Killer now knows. Killer is now truly aware of how disgusting he is. It is his duty to give the king what she wants but that is no excuse. Ccino doesn’t even try to stop her and he must have looked so weak and useless. Killer is gone now and will never return and-

A hand touches his arm and Ccino can’t help but freeze up fully. Is Nim back? He didn’t hear the door and-

“Shit! Right sorry. I am so sorry. Ccino? It is just me. Can I… Can I touch you? Wait not like that! Just. Please? I can help I swear I will help.”

Ccino can’t help but turn quickly. Shocked. Why is Killer here. He glances at the door “Kills? Why are you here? You need to leave.” The sun is already out. Killer will have a much harder time sneaking out without the cover of darkness. Why would he still be here?! Nim would have been asleep and that should have given him the perfect moment to escape!

Killer sputters “Why am I here?! Ccino… I… I couldn’t just leave!” he stresses the word as his hands still hover “I… Is it okay if I pick you up?”

Ccino blinks and just numbly nods. Killer moves slowly as he picks him up and Ccino can’t help but flinch as a burn is touched wrong. Killer apologises even as Ccino softly reassures him it isn’t his fault.

Killer ends up carrying him towards the bathroom where he puts him on the edge of the bath. He turns on the water and Ccino watches the tub fill up. It is large and dug into the wall almost. It is large enough to fit Nim. Ccino glances and sees Killer rummaging through the different cabinets, clearly searching for something.

Ccino glances down and frowns as he sees the burns on his arms and wrists. He studies the shape and feels cold to his soul as he realises it is shaped perfectly like her hand. Are all of them like that? He feels sick. He wants to throw up. Why did he agree to let Killer carry him? It is so obvious now that he is just some useless toy and used and-

Killer lets out a loud ‘Ahah!’ as he proudly raises a few bottles. He rushes back over and puts it in the tub. Killer smiles at him and Ccino just glances down again. He doesn’t want to… to see the disgust and regret. Will he lose him now? It would hurt to not have Killer like him anymore. But what if Killer doesn’t even want to be friends anymore?

He doesn’t know what to do…

Killer speaks quietly “Hey… I am going to pick you up now okay? I am going to put you in the bath… is that okay?” Ccino just gives him a nod.

Killer doesn’t move right away and it just makes Ccino feel worse. Before Killer would be excited and joyful whenever Ccino gave him okays or said it was fine… yet now he hesitates… is he really that gross now?

Killer’s hands and arms finally help him of the edge and into the warm water. Ccino frowns as glance down. Had Killer put some kind of bathing oil into it? It feels softer somehow.

Killer is quiet for a moment before speaking “I… I found some stuff against burns… can I… may I help you with some of those wounds?”

Right. Because they are obvious. Ccino nods again and keeps looking down even as he holds out his arm.

The silence around them is chilling. Ccino is not used to this. Not from Killer. Killer is warmth and joy and energy. He doesn’t like being quiet and Ccino doesn’t like him being quiet. It doesn’t feel right and makes him uneasy. It is not the comfort he had come to known, come to rely on…

“I… I never knew that this… it got this bad.” Killer speaks softly as he cares for the burns.

Ccino shrugs as he mutters “Others don’t seem to mind.” he isn’t sure why he mentions that. He isn’t sure why he said that. Why doesn’t he just lie and say it is normal? Why doesn’t he just lie and says it is great?

Why is it harder to lie to Killer, than it is to Nim?

Killer is silent for a moment before speaking “I am going to hug you… is that okay?”

Ccino shrugs “If you want to.” It would be nice… real nice…

Killer still hesitates. But then two arms lock around his shoulders and Killer shakes as he just pulls him tightly against him. It is so nice and Ccino feels himself relax. Killer’s arms keep shaking lightly and it seems to grow worse when Ccino leans fully into his hold. Is this too much? Is he making Killer uncomfortable?

Killer keeps holding him close “Ccino?”

Ccino hums and waits.

Killer pauses for a moment before speaking again “Run away with me. Please.”

Ccino blinks and glances at Killer “What?”

Killer stares at him and smiles nervously “I know. I know it is a lot. But. You are hurt. She hurts you. Please. I could deal with that creep of a lady touching you as long as you enjoyed it! But you don’t! It hurts you and you don’t… You deserve much better than that Ccino!” And he waits.

Ccino is… not sure what to say. He is mostly confused. Doesn’t… doesn’t Killer understand? Ccino just stares at him “I… I don’t? This isn’t about me? If our god-king wants something she gets it. Because it is her right.” he feels cold. Is his breathing getting faster? There is no reason to feel cold after thinking that. And even less to feel panicked and anxious. “I… I have the privilege to serve her and do as she wishes and… and…” why is this hard to say? It shouldn’t be hard to say.

Killer shakes his skull “No!” Ccino can’t help but flinch and Killer holds his hand “No. No that isn’t fair. Just because she is some king person doesn’t mean she gets to rape you whenever she fucking wants!”

Ccino frowns at him. The way he said that seems to hold weight but… Ccino never really… So he asks “You… you say that like it matters… why does it matter? What is rape?” Ccino is very confused.

Killer stares shocked before looking down as his whole body shakes. His sockets are narrowed as he straight up growls out the next sentence “Oh of course those fucking assholes didn’t bother to explain what rape is. Or abuse probably either!” Ccino feels a bit insulted. He knows what abuse is!

Killer stares at him again “It is sexual abuse, it is when someone forces sexual interactions. Stuff you don’t want to do. That is bad because it is something everyone needs to be okay with. And you aren’t okay with this.”

Ccino frowns and shakes his skull “That… that can’t be right.” his voice shakes slightly as he repeats what he said before “You need to understand. She is a god. The king of our country. What she wants is her right. Anything she wants is okay because she is a god. It doesn’t… it isn’t…”

Killer just looks at him sadly as the arms return to embrace him. Killer just keeps holding him close “What she did to you is terrible. No matter who or what she is, she shouldn’t just get to abuse people. She shouldn’t just be allowed to touch you when you don’t want her to touch you. She shouldn’t be allowed to hurt you. It isn’t right. She isn’t right.”

Ccino leans into his hold. Shaking even as he doesn’t feel cold. He needs him.

Killer whispers “Run away with me… I know it is scary and new. But I swear it will be okay. You will like Ink, he can be a lot but he is honestly a great friend! We can just skip this whole country. Is there any spot you would like to go? Anything you want to see? Like a mountain? Or a beach? I know lots of places and we can visit all of them.” he smiles at him “I will be with you the whole time.”

Ccino wants to say yes but he knows he can’t. And he feels actually close to crying when he has to admit it “I can’t…”

Killer speaks so gentle “It is okay. We will figure out how to sneak you out. I will make sure you are safe. We will be a team and both Ink and I will teach you everything about being out on the road.” And he grins charming.

Ccino actually feels some tears escape as he laughs and shakes his skull “I can’t… It would kill me…”

Killer looks confused and Ccino admits the one thing he didn’t want to admit. He taps his own sternum “Slave contract… Had it since I was seven. If I leave Nim’s side for too long it will start to burn my soul until there is nothing left.” The horrified look that covers Killer’s face does not make Ccino feel better as he continues to talk “It was a reassurance… Just making people do your tasks and orders wasn’t enough for them. They changed the contract to include consequences for running away. Or for lying.”

Killer’s arms are around him against as Ccino leans against his shoulder. Soaking up the comfort of his friend as Killer mutters that they will figure something out.

Ccino doubts it. But it is a nice thought.

At least he still has Killer, at least a little.

Nim finally finishes and the flood of magic pressing against his makes him ill but at least it is finally over. She moves around and Ccino zones out again as he just lets her do whatever.

In the end Ccino ended up regretting admitting to the slave contract. Mostly because after he thought about it he realised he was willing to do it. To run away with Killer. Would it be a painful death, yes. But, in trade for that, he would get at least two months or being happy with Killer. They could visit Killer’s favourite places. Killer could show him so many things about this world. They could truly just be a couple, at least for a little while.

Ccino ended up trying to accept the deal still. Telling Killer he wanted to run away with him. Killer had looks so excited and asked him if he figured out how to stop the contract. Ccino had smiled and explained that he hadn’t, but that it would be fine. Killer had not agreed and cancelled the whole running away thing. Ccino knows that Killer said that he didn’t want to risk Ccino and end up killing him. But Ccino can’t help but think that this isn’t living either. At least those two months he would have been truly free and happy with Killer. That was what made it worth it… but Ccino ended up not telling Killer this. Killer seemed very distressed about the whole him dying thing and accepting that, best not explain how good the deal sounded to him after some thinking.

Nim has fallen asleep. Ccino is still stuck in her too warm embrace. Guess it is another night of just him suffering the heat as he can’t sleep. He glances around and sees the curtains near the balcony being still. Seems like Killer managed to get outside and close those doors.

Ccino is sad to see him go, to have their night be cut short. Killer can’t visit that often and now Ccino can’t even ride the euphory that being with Killer brought him as Nim had ruined and dirtied those lingering feelings and touches.

He hopes he can see Killer soon again.

--

Ccino isn’t paying much attention to the healers giving him, and the harem members, their check up. it is a weekly thing, everyone who the king found worthy to have sex with is to be checked in case they managed to carry twins. Any non-twin soullings get removed in these appointments as well.

They are just part of his routine at this point.

He sits on one of the beds as he waits to hear the verdict. He has already seen two of the eight here be given the drink to terminate non-twin soullings. Ccino never had to drink one of those before but from what he heard from others it tastes rather bland. But the aftereffect leaves you feeling cold for almost a full week and some have gotten sick after consuming it.

The healers are by his side still and Ccino is slightly annoyed. They are usually faster. Though he doubts they will try anything again. Even Nigel is that bold after Nim already warned him once. Even Mar didn’t risk it after that even as they stared wishfully at Nim.

Nigel frowns slightly as he mutters some words to Mar and Mar leaves to grab something from a shelf.

Ccino doesn’t care as his mind is still filled with a light bliss. Killer had managed to come by the day before yesterday. Nim had been busy the whole day with work and her council and Killer had been ballsy enough to sneak in in bright daylight and they spend the whole day together. It was truly amazing and he has been riding that high for the last two days now.

Mar suddenly rushes over to Nim, who is standing nearby looking disappointed at the two of her harem who had to drink the soulling termination drink. Mar bows deeply to Nim and Nim focusses on them. They speak about something but they are far enough that Ccino can’t really hear it.

Nim’s flames suddenly grow brighter and higher as she rushes over towards Nigel and leans closer to the healer and Nigel shows some results and shows an orb which-

Is a mixed colour. Purple and yellow.

Ccino is shocked. One of those here is carrying twins…

The orbs will change colour to fit the energy of a soulling.

This obviously only works if the monster or human is pregnant. From what Ccino understands is that a skilled healer can feel if a soul is carrying a soulling. Than they use the orb to sense the fragile soullings soulenergy while filtering out the most available soultrait. Though the soultrait test is a lot less reliable as soullings often shift soultraits as they grow and grow most stable. Not to forget that normal monsters don’t really have an obvious soultrait marker in their souls, it often represents in their magic or small details.

This Ccino only knows as he heard the healers tell this story many times to different harem members.

The things that matters is, the fact that the orb is showing two colours. It means it is sensing two different fragile soultraits. Meaning, twins.

Nim absolutely lights up and her flames are near white with her excitement. Ccino just knows her face has the same gleefulness to it, if it hadn’t been hidden by her veil.

Everyone is watching closely.

Nim speaks full of excitement “Who is carrying my twins?”

Nigel looks almost… amused? Is that the right word? Nigel bows deeply “Well my king, It is none other than your consort of course.”

Ccino feels something in his mind break. No. No… No no no no no!

Nim turns and her veil covered face stares into his direction. Moments later she is by his side and rubs his cheek and kisses his skull “Oh my dear Lyra, you are truly perfect.”

Ccino’s mind can’t even focus on the fact she is using that name again. No. What do you mean he is carrying twins?! He never! It never happened before! He had too little energy and no magic! How could he be carrying twins?!

Ccino watches silently as the others are quickly removed from the medical room. All rushed out after their check ups finish. Nim keeps looking so fucking content as she strokes his face and arms and hands. Leaving behind tender and slightly painful marks.

Ccino isn’t even paying attention as Nigel and Mar talk to him about what he will need to do to keep the health of the new twins up. To make sure both are healthy enough to be born and how to ensure this. Something about magic transfers and confinement and rest. Ccino doesn’t like the idea of magic transfers. He always feels sick after a small magical donation and the idea of getting those almost daily doesn’t sit well with him. But he has to as apparently his body just doesn’t make enough magic to support the twins.

Ccino doesn’t understand why he can’t just eat more. Food should give energy for magic right? why can’t he just eat and get magic that way? Then again… he would grow fat and Nim doesn’t want that…

The conversation continues on for a while longer before he follows Nim out quietly.

Nim hums happily as she walks, expecting him to keep up, “Oh what a wonderous day. I just knew you would be perfect, and now you prove it even more! So perfect and just like Lyra. We will obviously need to make sure you remain nearby. But just leaving you in a room to rest? No. That is such a waste! I want everyone to see the joy, the perfection. New twins. Just in time as well.”

Ccino just nods along. Still feeling numb as he follows her footsteps. Trying not to… not to what? What does he do?

They get back to Ccino’s own room as Nim looks around it with distaste “Oh this will not work. I can not have the one carrying my twins remain here. I will have to speak with people to get your new room ready.” She nods to herself as she starts to leave.

Ccino doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get it. How did this happen?

Nim stops and turns “What do you mean? Of course I move you to a better location. You are carrying my heirs now. That means people will try to be foolish and harm you as they know they can’t harm me.”

Ccino feels even more anxiety fill him. He hadn’t even thought about that. But the matter remains. He finds his voice and mutters the next question on purpose instead of accident “How… How am I pregnant? I don’t have enough magic for that.” It is a statement. Everyone knew this was the case. No one made it a secret. The council had been displeased with him about his position of consort because he didn’t have the ability to get pregnant. They all agreed Nim was wasting precious time by having him as someone to have sex with.

Nim chuckles as she walks over “Oh that is easy.” She pulls him back and it is scorching hot as one of her hands lays over the front of him. Right where his sternum and soul are hidden behind his thin shirt. “Because I wanted you to carry them.” she leans close and whispers “don’t you feel it? It is still rather new. I did reabsorb their souls after all. It would be a waste to let all of that time and effort go to waste. Instead of wasting time with creating completely new souls for my heirs I just cleansed them.”

Ccino stands frozen as it sinks in “It… it… it are…” he stammers.

Nim hums “Dream and Nightmare. And who else by the one who already took care of them before? I knew your soul would accept the soullings transfer. You were the only choice.” A kiss to his cheek before steps leaving towards the door.

A pause.

“The perfect choice.”

The door closes.

And Ccino falls to his knees. Tears streaming down his face.

--

He feels sick. He can’t really move. The new magic injected into his system still feels wrong. It messes with his senses and his soul hurts so badly.

A wet cloth is placed on his skull and Ccino glances to the side. Robin looks at him so very worried.

Ccino frowns slightly before giving her a pointed look “You… can’t be… here… If she… if Nim finds out…” Nim had been… weirder than usual. He had been moved to this new room… two weeks? Maybe? Ago. It seems that ever since she successfully moved his soullings to his soul she has been… slipping is the best way to describe it.

She has also been calling him by the wrong name many more times. She seems to crackle brighter than ever before and mutter about taking over other lands, which is unheard of for her. Nim never cared about taking over more land or anything. To her it didn’t matter as it was just a waste of time. Why bother with countries that didn’t accept her as leader? Why bother with people who didn’t come to serve her? That is what she had always said.

Robin frowns at him as she cleans helps cool his bones “Yeah she is screaming up a storm against the guards. Something about suspicious footsteps in the garden.” She pauses and mutters “Ccino… I don’t think it is wise for… your friend to visit you…”

Ccino frowns as he shifts his skull into the pillow more “Not like… he can get in here…” it is like a locked box. There isn’t even a window. He feels locked up and uneasy. Trapped. It is too warm and he feels like he is melting from the inside out.

He knows it is impossible for Killer to find out where he is now. Ccino had to explain where his own room was to Killer before he figured out how to get there. Killer doesn’t know where he is now. and that is good. Because it means Killer can’t get into trouble for trying to get to the one carrying the heirs.

Robin mutters softly “I can… try to get a message across? Rogers will help too. Try and explain he needs to escape now…” and she waits.

And that is the problem… because Ccino doesn’t want that. Ccino truly is a terrible person, as all he wants and wishes for is Killer to be here. For even just a moment. Even when knowing how dangerous it is.

Ccino rolls up more as he can’t look at Robin “I… I don’t… I don’t know…”

Robin frowns before the door opens just an edge. Rogers is outside and whispers “The shift in the guard will be here soon. You need to go now before the next group Robin.” Rogers shoots him a smile before glancing around.

Robin nods as she gives him a gentle hug “It is okay. We will figure something out.” and she leaves the room.

He truly feels terrible as he just lays there. Prisoner of this room with only his own selfish thoughts to keep him company.

Is this… is this a punishment? From… It?

Ccino doesn’t understand. He thought… He thought he already got punished for him asking for help. For accepting help form It. That that was why It killed his twins…

But now he… he is carrying them? Little Dream and Nightmare? Both of them? It will kill him… is that punishment for no longer giving It attention? Or is this truly just Nim?

Why does he think of It as a god yet doesn’t see Nim as one?

He doesn’t know anymore…

He doesn’t… he doesn’t know what he can even do anymore.

He closes his eyes as he just wills himself to sleep. He keeps hoping he will wake up in his normal room. Hell he would even accept it being Nim’s at this point. Just not this jail anymore. Not this prison.

He thinks he falls asleep… Maybe… He isn’t fully sure. He feels sick. So very sick. He just wants to sleep and not feel anything for a while.

A soft voice gently speaking “Ccino? Ccino please… what is wrong? Are you sick? What is happening?”

Ccino frowns slightly as he opens his sockets. He glances to the side and… Killer? How… when? Is… is he asleep? This has to be a dream right?

Ccino tries to push himself up but his arms shake violently and he falls almost immediately. Killer is by him and helps him up a little “Ccino?! What is going on? Please tell me.”

Ccino sobs as he looks with a teary smile at Killer. The pain at least proves this is real. Killer found him… Killer managed to find him! He doesn’t answer right away as he just hugs Killer. Sobbing softly. He finally feels safe. The arms hold him and he wants it to never end. But… No… this is too dangerous…

He sobs as he mutters through his sniffs “You… you need… need to go… if she… if she finds you… if she figures out… you need to go…” it hurts so much. He doesn’t want him to go.

Killer shakes his skull “No. please. What is wrong? What did she do? What is this stuff?” he glances to the side where Ccino knows the magic injector lays. Killer looks so panicked.

Ccino smiles sadly and laughed “What… you haven’t heard the great news?” He keeps his smile up even if he feels it shake as his sight grows hazy with his tears “The next heirs are on their way. The next set of twins are planned to be born…” He sobs as he just leans against Killer “I don’t… I don’t want to die… I don’t… I really don’t Killer… What… what do I do?”

Killer holds him close and seems to remain quiet. Ccino just leans into the hug. He sobs as he shakes in his arms.

Killer finally finds his voice “What… what is… the injector for?”

Ccino shakes as he remembers the terrible feeling of the magic being injected. It never feels the same as his own body notices the invasive magic but can’t do anything to stop it. He shakes as he just pushes closer. Killer is familiar, Killer is safe. He can tell Killer. It is okay. He mutters “I… I don’t… have enough magic… never did… This… this is to make sure… I can carry… to term…” he shakes.

Killer pulls him closer “Why not just give you more food?! You eat like what… once a week? Why not just give you normal fucking meals?”

Ccino just lays in those arms. Leaning close as he relaxes “Can’t risk not being pretty for Nim…” he turns his face to hide it in his shoulder. The scent of the other is familiar and calms him down.

It is okay… Killer is here…

Killer holds him close against him “I… I don’t… I don’t know what to do…”

Ccino can’t help but laugh as he agrees. He doesn’t know what to do either.

They sit like that for a while. Ccino feels himself start to fall asleep again as he enjoys this moment. He isn’t sure if it will have to last him until the end and savours it. The warmth, the secure feeling, the way the other just supports his weight. It all feels so good. It feels real.

Ccino finds himself smiling a little. For a short little moment he is happy.

Killer nuzzles his skull “Is there anything I can do to help you? I can sneak in more food. I can get you more things. Anything you want.”

Cino frowns as he thinks. What is there they could do? Escape isn’t possible as Ccino can’t even walk himself anymore. Much less escape with Killer. And risking Killer to keep sneaking in isn’t fair and honestly? All he wants is just this. Killer with him and holding him.

As soon as he gets the idea he tries to ban it from his mind as he answers the other “Nothing that is… nothing that matters.”

The arms hold him tighter “Please tell me?”

Ccino feels unsure and insecure. But… but Killer wants to know right? Maybe it is okay to ask him this? “I… I wish… I wish you could stay…” he laughs softly as he pushes close “I… I am so scared. It is terrifying but… with you nearby I feel less scared…” the idea takes more of a shape in his mind. Killer could fake join the guard. Rogers could sneak him to be higher level. And then when Rogers keeps watch Killer can sneak in. Or when it is Killer’s turn he can sneak in…

Killer is very quiet and Ccino looks at him with a small smile. Only for it to fall. Because… Killer doesn’t… he doesn’t look happy… He looks unhappy and troubled as he looks to the side. Not at him.

He… doesn’t want to…

Killer speaks softly “Ccino… Ccino I am so sorry but… I can’t… I can’t stay here… I… it isn’t me… I am supposed to be out there you know.” he smiles at him but his smile falls “Ccino I…”

Ccino realises he is crying again. Shit no… He didn’t. It doesn’t matter that his soul hurts… It is fine! He is used to this. Why didn’t he expect this? He knew this… this was just… something fun for the other… It wasn’t deep like…

Ccino somehow manages to get the words out even as his voice shakes “Right… I am sorry. I know… I shouldn’t have… It isn’t fair to ask you to… give up your freedom…”

Killer looks so unsure and Ccino manages to pull away from him. He reaches a hand out but Ccino goes back to where his blanket lays. It is so cold “It is fine… I know… I know it isn’t you. I didn’t mean to imply for you to change… it was stupid to ask…”

Killer shakes his skull “It wasn’t stupid…”

Ccino refuses to look at him “It was…” and now… well “It is actually better… This… this place isn’t safe… There are too many guards and if any of them see you you could be hurt… Killer… I… I think it is best if you don’t return…”

Killer is completely quiet “But… I thought… I thought you wanted…”

Ccino feels his soul break even more “Well clearly it doesn’t matter what I want does it?! It never did!”

Silence.

“Just… Killer just leave… I can’t… I can’t deal with you being here anymore. You being here. It means you could get hurt… I can’t… I can’t keep being afraid you will get hurt being here.” Ccino holds himself “Just leave.” Softer to himself “You are good at that.”

There is a silence and Ccino isn’t even sure what he wants. Part of him never wants to see Killer again. He always knew it was just a fun thing for Killer and Ccino was the idiot for falling in love and trying to make believe this into something that mattered and wasn’t just a game to the other. Another, smaller, part of him wants Killer to hug him. To say they can keep doing what has been going on until now. That Killer doesn’t want to say goodbye.

There is a silence and then the door opens a tiny bit… and Killer is gone.

Ccino sobs as he falls over. Crying into the pillow.

He deserves this… clearly he did something to deserve this.

He isn’t sure how long he cries. How long he sobs his stupid soul out. By the time the door opens again he is just staring at the far wall. His sockets hurting and so very exhausted.

Robin joins his side. Looking worried. She speaks but her voice sounds far away. She has to ask the question a few times before it finally makes sense to Ccino.

And he tells her. He tells her what happened. Softly between shakes as his body sobs without tears and sound. That he is an idiot. That he is too blame for this. He should have known better. He should have known this could never be. Now Killer is officially gone and he is never going to get to see him again. His one escape from this everything. Gone.

Robin holds him through his sobs. Gentle in her hold and voice as she tells him it isn’t his fault. That he deserved better.

Ccino can’t find it in himself to believe her.

--

Things have been better and worse.

Better in the way that Ccino has been getting used to things. He has been getting used to the pull on his soul and energy and feeling something try to pull on the magic he doesn’t have, making him unbalanced.

Worse because… well… Everything honestly. He hates having to deal with Nim’s council. He hates having Nim be so delighted and around him the whole time. He hates himself for waiting each night only to cry when no one comes to visit him.

He wishes he could have been brave enough to just run. To just run and die far away from this place.

Nim is looking at reports as Ccino walks by her side. His heart hurting with a starting migraine from all the light and conversations. Nim just speaks about what will come next and what to expect. What will change and how things need to be perfect.

Ccino doesn’t care. He doesn’t want to hear. He doesn’t care about this stupid country. He doesn’t care about her. He. Just. Doesn’t. Care!

He just wants to sleep. Sleep and cry more. But even the little privacy he had for that has gone as Nim hovers. Hands always touching somewhere and making him feel sick.

Nim hums as she trails her hand “But that is for later. I believe I have some time and I wish to spend it enjoying you. It has been much too long since I had that chance.”

Yesterday morning to be exact. Ccino still feels sore and pain from it which the transfer magic just makes worse.

He doesn’t want to talk about this. He doesn’t want to even think about it. He wants to hear anything else. Anything!

He speaks without thinking. “Who is Lyra?”

A moment of silence and Ccino feels like he overstepped as he mutters much softer “It is… You have spoken about this person with fondness before my king. I was curious who could receive such an honour.” And he waits nervously.

Nim stares ahead of her, the way she holds herself is different. She seems… distracted? She speaks softly “Lyra was… Come. I will show you.” and she walks. Ccino blinks and rushes after her even as his body protests.

They go towards Nim’s private wing and follow along some halls until they reach a door but there is no handle or even lock. Nim holds her hand against it and it seemingly melts away. A door only Nim herself can open it seems.

Nim walks inside and motions for him to follow. Ccino follows her in and glances around the small extra room. It is a small bedroom, much like his own private room used to be. But this one is themed with yellows, oranges and reds. Bright and everywhere. The bed is just a frame and the bookcase is empty. There is a large hanger with many dresses and Ccino thinks they look a lot like the ones Nim usually gives him to wear.

Then he glances at where Nim is standing. Her frames illuminating a large painting. It is made with oil paints and the frame is a golden and copper colour. The picture itself is one of Nim sitting on her throne but by her side stands a skeleton. They are wearing a bright orange dress and have a bright smile on their face. Their face is still young, maybe twenty-ish? They have bright orange eye lights and small orange freckles all over their face. They are really pretty.

Nim stares at the painting and hovers her hand near “Lyra.”

Ccino frowns at Nim and waits.

Nim stares at the painting fondly “She was there since the start. For as long as I remembered. My father made sure I had the best as was my right. I had people waiting my every comment and need. Lyra was always there first. She was perfect. She knew what I wanted, when I needed. Would sing and dance and paly music.” The almost tender look breaks away from her face as possessiveness takes over “When I ascended. When I took my birthright. I sought her out. It was only fitting that my first night was with someone perfect just like me.”

Ccino feels uneasy. It is not a good thing she sees her lost… love?  Affection? In him. He glances at the painting “What… happened?” old age? An accident? Assassination?

Nim sighs sadly “Oh she was perfect in every way. It was to be expected she carried my twins for me. That she carried them to completion and to birth.”

Ccino frowns, that can’t be right… “I thought… Dream’s and Nightmare’s mother had been Setta?” Ccino met that woman! And she hadn’t looked like the skeleton in the painting.

Nim frowns at him for a moment before laughing “Oh I am not talking about her. The only thing good about her is that she managed to give me twins. But well, that wasn’t that amazing after all of both of them had been weak.” Ccino feels a rage but keeps it contained. Them getting sick hadn’t been their fault! That isn’t how sickness works!

Nim stares back at the painting “Lyra gave me my first twins. Twin girls. Both looking just like her. Of course, after Lyra’s soul burst with the twin’s birth I killed the twins.”

Ccino stares. In disbelieve with how casually she mentions it. As if it is just remembering what her dinner had been. Not that she killed two babies. Nim continues on as if she doesn’t notice his horror “I realised that it was much too soon to pass the torch of godhood. I had only been a god for five years at that point and I hadn’t even been trying to make twins. I killed them to ensure my rule.” She stares at the paining and her hand strokes the cheek of the skeleton in it “They looked too much like her… They were unworthy of being like her. Or daring to remind me of her.”

Ccino stares at Nim. Fear for his twins filling him “What… what about… my twins?”

Nim blinks and looks long at him “It is time I pass on the torch. You have perfect timing for my new heir.” She smiles as she glances back at the painting “I like it when things are perfect.”

Ccino nods as he is quick to agree “You do deserve perfection.”

Nim looks pleased as she motions towards the exit. Ccino leaves quickly and walks with her. Very little of the day getting through to him as Nim goes about her day criticizing people. His mind keeps turning back to the fact that she… she killed… he is scared for his twins…

Eventually he is left in his prison again. He sits on the soft bed and just stares at the mostly empty room. It truly is just a room for him to rest and that is it. Just a soft bed with soft pillows and warm blankets. Just a shame that it is always too warm and hot in here.

He just sits on the bed and pulls his knees close to hug. He had been so worried about dying that he hadn’t even worried if his twins would be left in an okay place. He knows this place is terrible. He had seen how unfairly Dream and Nightmare had been treated!

The same will happen to them again, if Nim didn’t lie of course. There is a very high chance she lied and the soullings in his soul aren’t Dream and Nightmare. Even if they are still his twins now…

He is confused… He expected himself to hate them… he hates this pregnancy, he hates his situation, he hates this place… but he doesn’t hate the small soullings he has. He finds himself loving them.

Something is seriously wrong with him.

Soft knocks and the door opens just a bit. Rogers glances in and frowns “Ccino sir?”

Ccino just rolls up more.

A moment of silence before the door closes and footsteps come near him. The bed dips in a bit and Rogers speaks softly “Hey… what is wrong?”

Ccino shakes “She killed them.”

Rogers frowns as he holds his hand “You mean… Nim killed Dream and Nightmare?”

Ccino shakes and shakes his skull “No… well she did that too… but before that… she had other children. Another set of twins… she killed them…” he hugs his knees closer causing them to dig into his own chest “How… how can I be sure she won’t just… kill mine? When I am gone? I couldn’t even protect Dream and Nighty… How will I protect these.” He sobs as he glances at Rogers.

Rogers holds him as he shakes “I am not going to be able to protect them. They are going to take them and force them into those horrible roles of before.” And Ccino won’t even be able to protect them this time. Not like he did a good job before obviously but he now can’t even try. He is too weak.

Rogers keeps holding him “We will still be here Ccino. Please don’t think we would just abandon them.”

Ccino stares at Rogers “huh?”

Rogers gives a small smile as he puts an arm around him to keep him stable “It is all we can do… Sorry we can’t do more…”

Ccino frowns “What do you mean? Do more?”

Rogers frowns as he looks at the door “I am not sure… I… I am sorry… Robin and I tried to… search for a way to help you… We spoke with healers and realised there were two options really but…” he looks at him “We didn’t think you would be okay with someone removing the soullings.”

Ccino looks up shocked and stares “What…?”

Rogers sighs and looks at him. He looks tired. “Ccino… We see this destroying you. You are dying… We… we just want to help. And one of the options was well… removing what was killing you.” and he looks at him.

Ccino slowly shakes his skull as he tries to cover the spot where his soul hides with his twins. Rogers grins and waves at him “Yeah. That is what we figured. We had another option… On some of my missions and heard about a soulling transfer. Usually when the one originally carrying isn’t strong or healthy enough to carry the soulling a transfer is done as a last resort. We searched for people who could do this procedure for you but… It is only an option in Sanctuary.” And he looks so disappointed “I am sorry… I swear we tried to find solutions… to save you and both your twins… We are sorry.”

Ccino stares in shock… He had thought… He hadn’t thought they would… “Nim would have never allowed it…”

Rogers shrugs “Robin had been okay with carrying one of the twins for you. We would have lied and just said the child was Robin’s and mine’s. You would still show all the signs. Than when it was ready for the twins to be born Robin would sneak the child back to you…” Rogers laughs and shakes his head “But there is no way to have gotten you there for the treatment needed. And there is no way such a specialist healer would be willing to come here.” He smiles.

Ccino feels a shock but a small warmth starts to spread in his soul. His friends truly… truly care for him? He can’t help but smile as he leans against one of his only two true friends “Thank you.”

Rogers snorts “We did nothing… It ended up a disappointment.”

Ccino shakes his skull as he leans against the other “You two tried to help. You two worked hard to find solutions and ways to help me… I appreciate it more than anything. Thank you.”

Rogers keeps holding him “You did so much for Robin and me both Ccino… Of course we try to help you as well.”

Ccino snorts “Seriously? Robin was always helping me. Not the other way around. And all I ever did for you was just… normal stuff? Be nice?” he smiles at the other.

Rogers grins “It would surprise you how much that matters Ccino. To have someone just be friendly and not tell you your every action is wrong and that you ruin everything by just trying.” He sighs “I always believed that serving god-king Nim would be the greatest honour. That it would be the way to a bright future and work towards that… Everything I have seen here. Heard here? Everything was fake. You helped me see through that façade Ccino.” He nudges their shoulders together “And in the end I gained two friends…”

Ccino smiles as he leans against his friend. Letting himself relax just a little. Knowing that his two friends will be there for his twins after he is gone. That everything won’t just be in vain.

--

Ccino is just listening as the council and Nim talk about future plans and ideas for how to proceed. They are asking her how she plans to finish a war before the birth of the new twins and Nim seems to consider this as she looks at the timeline. Seems like she had been serious about wanting more land. The council however are unsure. Mentioning how they will need to spend time and resources on the twins over a war.

Honestly with how they talk about these factors they imply that raising two children is as difficult as winning a war. Then again they plan to poison his twins’s minds and opinions so maybe it does take some time and resources.

The people on the council had shot him looks when Nim walked in with him by her side but no one dared to go against their god and king. Ccino had sat down and acted as if he wasn’t there. Still listening of course but acting as if he didn’t pay attention.

Nim feels unimpressed “I want Ironfields to be added to my territory. And as it is my wish, it is my right as god living among the mortals.”

Aurora, a deer monster, glances at the reports “And we agree our king. But with the twins on their way isn’t it best to postpone your planned victory until after they are born and situated?”

Nim sighs as she waves a hand “By then I will be gone and Dream will have taken over my godhood.”

Ccino blinks and looks over “What?”

Someone in the council glares at him but Ccino doesn’t care as he focusses on Nim “What… what do you mean? Isn’t that… how could they be crowned when they are just born?” that makes no sense?!

Nim looks at him and the veil doesn’t show any of her emotions but the glee is clear in the room as she sends those out. “It is about time I pass my godhood. It is best to pass it early to ensure it remains at strength. As soon as our twins are born. I will give my powers over to Dream. Trusting my magic to guide him to do his next step.”

Ccino stares as his mind spins. Does… does she mean that… when Ccino’s… when his babies are finally back. After all this time… They will just be… alone again? Nim isn’t a good mother or parent but she is still their parent! He had… why had he thought that she would help them? He had hoped that someone would look after them like he had before.

But… but if they expect them… if they immediately expect Dream to take over… to ascend. He won’t even get the most basic of childhoods. He won’t even get the chance to be before he is trust into the role of god king…

Dream and Nightmare won’t even get the chance to be twins or brothers or friends. Not at all.

“No.”

A silence follows that single word.

Nim slowly turns back to him “Excuse you.”

Ccino stares ahead of him before staring right at Nim. A rage unlike anything before enters his whole being as he glares “I. Said. No.” He knows his face hardens as he stands there. In front of their god king. In front of the whole council which he means nothing to.

Nim stares at him through her veil. He can feel the weight of the gaze. The air mirrors her emotions as they turn bemused “Oh really. No?”

Ccino nods “No. Dream will not immediately ascend. Neither of them will. They are babies!” He stressed the word. He can’t believe she would… That any of them would!

Someone snorts and Ccino thinks he hears something about him being overemotional but Ccino easily ignores them. He focusses on Nim.

The bemusement turns amused as she walks over to him “I will ignore that you spoke against me. You care too much about things that do not matter dear.” A hand strokes his cheek “All that matters… Is me. And what I wish.”

He feels the magic in the very old contract tighten around his soul. It hadn’t felt and hurt like this in ages. Not since the start. Not since he learned to follow the silent orders and requests. Until it became second nature.

No. No.

He takes a few steps back, ripping himself away from her touch “Don’t touch me! You do not get to hurt my twins!” He raises both his hands over his sternum as he glares “I don’t care what you want them to be! They are mine now too, just as much mine as they are yours and I say no!” He glares. His gaze is growing hazy as the pressure around his mind and soul increase. “And I say that they get to be children! They get to grow up! Just like they did before! They deserve a chance to be happy after you murdered them for no reason!”

Silence around them, or maybe they are screaming. Ccino doubts he could have heard them over the ringing in his skull. His body is starting to shake to keep standing. To keep speaking against what is expected of him.

The amusement turns to rage and pushes down on him. It is hard to keep upright.

“How dare you speak out against your king!” She is enraged. Furious.

There should be fear. But the thought of his twins. Finally returned and him gone as he dies. Left with nothing. Left with no one. No one to hold them. No one to love them. No one to tell them it will be okay. That they are so good, and smart, and amazing. That they are perfect just the way they are. All because she wants them to be what she wants?! After she betrayed them!

Ccino forces his sockets back open and his eye lights to focus on the burning flame in front of him. It is warm. It is burning hot in matter of fact. Her rage burns around them. It is scorching. But Ccino focusses as he stares at her.

“You are not my king.” With each word he speaks he finds himself standing taller “My order was to serve the future king. Nd the future king is a soulling in my own soul at this very moment. I served you, did what you wanted, all of it. Because you were supposed to have the wellbeing of the next king in mind. But you are no longer acting in his best interest, maybe you never were.” The pressure is gone. He stands upright as he stares at her It is hard to see her, it is hard to feel his mouth and body “You are not my king. You are not my god. You are a brat throwing a tantrum each time you do not get what you want. And I can know as I raised your children for you once before. And I will not let you hurt them.”

The room showcases how furious she is. But Ccino can’t see her anymore. It is all hazy and clouded. He can’t quite focus. What… what is he doing again? Why is he here?

Nim’s voice sounds far away “You will be punished for this-”

“I am not done speaking.”

Wait… did he say something? He thought his mouth moved… but everything is hazy… He can’t think… He is so tired.

“You are no king, and surely no god. You took powers that were never yours to take.” He is saying… something? Maybe? Ccino isn’t sure… He thinks he is speaking but he can’t hear it…

“You are a disgrace. Your whole family line before you is. You were never allowed to take this magic. To use and abuse it. It was not yours to take. He was not yours to take.”

There is… rage? But it feels different. Not like Nim’s… But different… It reminds him of when Ccino got angry on behave of his twins. When he caught sight of Nightmare cutting his hand to practise for rituals. Of when Dream was sobbing because people told him he wasn’t working hard enough and the stress got to him…

“But I am here once again. I am here to reclaim what is rightfully mine. You will be forgotten. You will no longer poison this land. Your touch will no longer hurt him. Ans his twins will no longer have to fear for your disapproval. You will just be a bad memory, but one that will face with time. And you will be forgotten as the land heals from you and your ancestors abuse.”

A loud crack of something. Like wood splintering. Like earth moving as a landslide. It is loud and harsh. The ground shakes under him but Ccino doesn’t feel himself fall. He is… still standing? How is he standing? He should have collapsed right?

He is so tired…

The pain around his soul and mind finally fully disappear. The harsh light and heat around him is gone. And his mind finally goes blissfully silent as he feels himself slip away.

----

His body feels sore… Not like when Nim touched him… but like when he used to run around the castle for a long day. After a long day of working. As if he exercised too much.

It is strange.

Ccino groans as he pushes his skull into the soft pillow under him before he frowns. It feels… like cotton? Not like the silk that is in Nim’s room or his prison room? But he has had to sleep there for ages now. Why would he be in his own room?

He forces his eyes open and looks around confused. The first thing he sees is the crystal glass rose that Killer gave him a long time ago. Still safely on his nightstand. It truly is his room. He glances to the side and sees his own window, cracked open with a few flower pots with different plants in them. All were gifts from when Killer still entertained Ccino’s delusional ideas. That Killer had truly loved him. Ccino would be given plants from every place Killer visited. All the native plants. Killer ahd told him that it was the least he could do, with Ccino being unable to visit those places he could take a little of them back to Ccino.

His room? But…

“Ccino!! You are alive!” Two arms lock around him and Ccino is shocked.

Mostly because it is very out of character for Rogers to do that?

Ccino stares at his friend “Rogers? What… What is going on? Why wouldn’t I be alive?” He isn’t near his due-date yet. Sure he isn’t the healthiest but there is no reason why he would die quickly.

Rogers pulls back a little and seems to look him over. Ccino can’t help but notice the dark marks under his eyes. Rogers looks thinner and paler than usual. He is exhausted. Ccino frowns at him “Have you been resting? Eating okay? You look…”

Rogers laughs “Like shit? You can say it. Robin says it all the time.” As soon as he says that he walks towards the side of the door and rings a string there-

Wait… since when does his room have a system to call for a servant? Ccino doesn’t have that… He glances around the room again and frowns. He… thinks this is his room but it feels… different… Was his room always this large? That can’t be right.

Rogers returns to his side “Robin will be here soon. She was getting food for us and will now also get some for you.”

Ccino blinks and mutters, mostly out of habit “I don’t think it is my eat day.”

Rogers waves it off “Oh don’t worry. No one will try to tell you what to do at the moment.” He looks deeply amused by this.

Ccino stares at his friend “What… What do you mean?”

Rogers’s grin falls as he looks unsure “Wait… you don’t remember?”

Ccino feels himself frown as he thinks back. He was with Nim at the council… They… were planning things? For the future? Like always? Ccino keeps frowning as he stares down “I… I am not sure? I was at the council meeting right? With the king? I…” his mind remains blank. Nothing connects for a while. All he can hear is soft rustling of leaves and he glances upwards before staring “Why are there vines alone the ceiling with leaves?”

Rogers looks shocked but before he can say a word the door opens and Robin rushes inside. Ccino manages a glance and sees there are two guards outside but they are staying far away from the door.

Robin just stands there for a moment. By the door. She pushes the plates she is carrying on top of the dresser before rushing to his side and two arms lock around him again. Another familiar embrace and Ccino hugs his friend close and sighs. It is good to be with his friends. They rarely get the chance to spend time together with how much Nim had been-

Nim!!

Ccino glances around worried “Is this… Okay? What is Nim finds out?” He doesn’t want to get his friends hurt because he is weak and needs their support!

Robin frowns as she looks obviously confused “Ccino what do you mean?”

Ccino looks between his friends confused as he starts to feel like he missed something very important. Luckily Rogers shakes his head at Robin “Robin… It can honestly wait. He doesn’t remember. Lets first eat.”

Robin blinks before nodding “Yeah… Yeah honestly that is fine. I don’t think there really is a rush at this point?” she walks back to the plate and brings it over. Ccino glances at it and sees cut fruits and some bowls with yogurt. Robin grabs the smallest bowl and puts some banana and apples into it. She mixes it and even adds a little bit of honey. She hands it to him with a spoon “Eat.”

Ccino blinks “But it isn’t my-”

Robin glares at him and Ccino feels himself stop talking. Robin stares him down “You are going to eat that. Take as much time as you want. Eat it slowly. Savour every bite if you want. But eat.” She looks close to begging “Please. Just eat. Don’t worry about punishment okay? I swear it is safe. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

She really wouldn’t. Ccino takes a small bite as he watches Robin and Rogers getting their own bowl ready. It is nice. To just enjoy a moment together with his two friends. They eat their own food and they seem relaxed. And if they are relaxed it is really okay… right? Otherwise they wouldn’t be this calm.

Even with it being a small bowl Ccino can’t eat it all. He feels full and thinks he will start to feel sick or need to vomit if he eats anything else. Robin doesn’t mention it as she takes the bowl and puts it aside. Afterwards she sits by his side and checks him quickly. Check if he can stand, if his coordination is fine, check his relaxes.

Robin sighs in relieve as she sits back “Okay. You are actually okay…” she hugs him again.

Ccino nods “I feel fine…” Better than fine now he has some actual food. He feels less light headed already and less shaky. Even if he can handle both just fine at this point it is more comfortable even if he feels heavy and full and there is still the worry that he did something wrong by eating. “Will you two please tell me what is going on?”

Robin looks unsure as she glances at Rogers. Rogers leans closer “What do you remember. And take your time. Maybe something else came back?”

Ccino frowns as he concentrates “I was at the council meeting with god king Nim… They were discussing plans about how she wanted to take over Ironfields. Invade and concur. They spoke about how the timing was off for it as the twins are on their way and-” He freezes “She wanted… she wanted… To pass on her crown… as soon as they were born.” Both Robin and Rogers look up shocked. Ccino feels his breathing pick up a bit as memories flash through his mind “I… I panicked… I spoke out…” He can’t believe… How did he? How did he manage? “It…” he remembers how his mind and soul had felt on fire. To go against what he was ordered to do. To just support and serve. To stand against it. “It hurt but… She wanted to… take their lives away again. Before they even had a chance to be and… and…” he frowns “Then it went black…” He looks at his two friends “How am I still alive?” Or better why isn’t he locked up? Why does he still have his tongue or his ability to speak? Why is he still comfortable after that?

Robin presses a little bit “And that was all? Nothing after that?”

Ccino shakes his skull “I… I think more happened? But I wasn’t all there? I felt…” he frowns “There was this rage… but it wasn’t… her rage…” he knows what her emotions feel like. The way she forces them all to feel it. To know what she feels at all times and to take that into account. “It felt different… I am just sure it wasn’t hers…”

Robin nods and looks at Rogers “I wasn’t there myself but Rogers was.”

Rogers nods “I was guarding the door.” Ccino nods as he remembers him standing there when he followed their king inside “And I am not sure about the details. I just know we heard Nim yell and so we entered.��� Ccino frowns. Rogers, and Robin for that matter, never risked referring to Nim with just Nim.

“We ran in and let me tell you. It was insane. There was magic everywhere. Nim was burning brighter than the sun. But you just stood there. In the middle of the inferno but something was off. The way you were standing wasn’t like you. It was much more hostile. Your sockets were alit with magic. This yellowish green. Like newly grown leaves.” Ccino just stares in shock. Him… magic? Rogers continues “You were speaking but it wasn’t your voice. It was something else we think. It spoke about how Nim wasn’t worthy of the power she had abused. Of the title she had unrightfully gotten. It spoke about how she didn’t deserve you Ccino.”

Ccino blinks as he is starting to get a sinking feeling.

Rogers grins at him “How she is no longer allowed to be near either you or your twins. And it called them yours, not hers. And then…” Rogers seems to look for words as he glances at the walls “You know how we all talk about how the walls seem almost tree like in nature? How we always compare it to roots, or vines, or tree trunks or something like that?” He waits until they both nod and then he continues “The very floor shifted. It split apart and roots started to climb up Nim. Even as she tried to burn them nothing happened. She shot a fire ball at you Ccino but a vine was lightning fast as it intercepted it. Rendering it useless… The… the floor, the castle itself, swallowed Nim whole.”

Ccino stares at his hands. His mind spinning. It… It… Why did It… after Ccino… Why?

“Obviously. After that it was chaos. You stood frozen for a few more moments before you fell over unconscious. The very roots that had pulled Nim into the ground caught you instead and laid you down carefully on the ground. Someone in the guard walked closer with a raised weapon and a vine impaled him.” Rogers stresses the word “Again, chaos. Then… the priest spoke up. Said that it must have been the power. The very thing granting their kings the power to become god. And that by it rejecting Nim it showed that Nim had failed it but by granting you mercy it must still see a future in your twins… Or something like that, honestly at the time I was in shock.” Rogers shrugs a little “After that I offered to bring you to a room to rest. They had looked at me like I was insane but I figured if whatever this was wanted to protect either you or the twins it wouldn’t hurt me as I never wanted anything but you all to be okay and healthy.” He looks a little smug “And I was right, as I was allowed near without issue and was allowed to carry you out…”

Robin speaks up next “This is when I met up with you two. But the vines themselves locked away other rooms and entrances. It kept people away. We got lead to this room, your room. We have been taking turns to remain by your side as the other works and sees what is going on and happening.”

Ccino’s mind is spinning. What is he supposed to think? He thought that It. He isn’t even sure what he thought anymore or what he was supposed to think.

He is confused.

That is a good summary of how he feels. Confused.

Ccino stares down “It… doesn’t make sense…” None of this does.

Rogers and Robin share a look as Robin smiles “Maybe whatever the power is saw you are actually good? A good person? And decided to want to help you?”

Ccino shakes his skull as he glances to the side. He eyes the door but it is closed and he knows his room is secure, Killer and him were never caught after all and they used to hang out in his room before Ccino moved to Nim’s permanently…

And if… if It truly is helping him… then It won’t let anyone hear this conversation… right? They never heard him in the tunnels and that has to be It’s doing…

Ccino speaks softly “It… doesn’t make sense because… I was sure It was mad at me…” There.

Rogers and Robin both look confused before Robin’s eyes widen “You know what the power is?”

Ccino shakes his skull “No… I never knew what It was… I just knew It was there…” he rubs his arms “It used to… help… Remember how I… would show up in places? Very quickly? That sometimes I just seemed to disappear and reappear? Remember how ages ago I told you I used a tunnel that you knew didn’t exist?”

Robin gives a slow now. Her eyes wide in shock. Ccino nods “It… would make these tunnels. Or small staircases or areas I could climb up or down. Small pathways all around the castle. It was easy to get places as the tunnels were always only one path. No turns or twists. Just a straight path from A to B which was much quicker than should have been possible…”

Rogers frowns “If this being helped you… why did you think they were mad at you?”

Ccino looks down at his hands and mutters “It made them sick… It caused the sickness that fell over them…”

There is a silence as Ccino feels the grief as strongly as always. He misses his twins so much. He knows that Nim said their souls are within his now but Ccino doesn’t believe it, he can’t let himself start to hope to see them again only to not see them. He can’t do that to himself. He can also not do that to his babies. He will only get a short time to meet them, if he is lucky and his soul manages to hold on for a bit longer, he needs to shower them with love and affection when he can. Need to make sure those two new souls feel loved and cared for.

“What if it wasn’t against you?”

Ccino blinks and looks up at Rogers.

Rogers is still frowning as he speaks “Everyone knew that the twins died and that Nim let it happen. We all heard the statement she made that the twins had gotten weak and sick and unworthy of the title as her heir… but that was her choice…” Rogers gives him a sad smile “Am I right?”

Right… Ccino had been the only one of the three of them who had been close to the twins before. Robin worked with the other maids mainly and Rogers hadn’t even been working here at that point…

Ccino nods and quietly tells them about how Nim had the option to help them. To give them strength to recover but that she denied them that.

Rogers nods as he speaks “I think… Maybe it wasn’t something against you or your twins… But against Nim. A test maybe?” He looks sheepish “I won’t lie and say I know how gods or deities or spirits work. But… Maybe it wasn’t meant to hurt you or them… maybe it was just meant to be some sort of test for Nim? Which she failed horribly in a way that went much worse than it expected?”

Ccino frowns as he pulls on his own hands slightly. Making the joints between his fragile bones stretch “It… it doesn’t matter… what do I do now?” How is he supposed to deal with this? People will want answers and he doesn’t have them!

Robin shrugs “Just let the priest figure stuff out.”

Rogers looks disapproving at her “Robin.”

Robin glances back at him “What? I am serious. We don’t know the answers and no one is going to expect us to know. Ccino went unconscious which could mean many things. They are not going to risk his or the twins health. Especially not with the deity having made clear that it does not approve of anyone harming Ccino, or the twins.” She crosses her arms “I say. We focus on making sure you” she looks at Ccino “And your twins are healthy while we just pay attention. We stick nearby, act invisible as they all want. Let them forget we are nearby and than we just listen. We will pay attention to what they say.”

Ccino just feels more unsure “And what if they do demand me to do stuff? What if they see this as a sign that I… I… Like have those stupid powers?! I can’t do magic!” He stresses the words and feels his voice go higher with his panic.

Rogers taps his chin and shrug “Just say stuff? Say you haven’t heard a specific message yet. That for now it means that they want everyone to follow what they said before.”

Ccino turns slowly to Rogers “You want me to just… use the situation?!”

Rogers makes a so-so sign “Just a little. Just enough to make sure you are safe. Again, only if they start demanding you give them answers.”

Ccino covers his face “This is going to end horribly.”

Robin hums as she pushes him to lay down and tugs him in “Maybe. But you are alive. You are awake. Your twins are still with you, and Nim is gone. I think that means you can take a moment to just rest. Sleep peacefully knowing nobody will come and ruin it for you.” she smiles “We will just have to see what happens. But if we play our few cards right we can make this work in our adventage.”

Ccino looks unsure “But we don’t have any kind of power here… At all.” Just like always they are powerless.

Robin grins “Not exactly. We have one very powerful card at least. That is that we know you don’t have any true connection to it. I have heard them mutter about it picking you as vessel while it waits for the new god-king to be born. Others say that Nim was never the other parent but the power itself was.”

Ccino shoots her a look at that one as he knows that is not how soullings are made and everyone knows that. Robin grins “The point is. Everyone is confused. Everyone is looking for answers and any answer is possible. You didn’t just reshuffle the deck Ccino. You changed out the entire game… and everyone thinks you are the only one with the rulebook. Use that. Use them thinking you know even if you don’t.”

Ccino frowns as he considers it. He still isn’t a fan of lying. But if he words stuff right… if he is vague… maybe?

Rogers nods “But that is for later. I am going to stand guard for the next shift while Robin works. Do you need anything?”

Ccino shakes his head but even then Robin still promises to bring him something to drink that is nutritious. Ccino is noticing a very suspicious absent of the injector and magic vials and Ccino is pretty sure that either Robin or Rogers made it disappear. Maybe they loudly questioned if the power of the god-kings would approve or just any magic being injected into the one carrying the next generation…

Ccino snorts as he rolls up in his blanket. It is soft. It is familiar. The door closes as his two friends leave to work.

Ccino glances up at the ceiling before he mutters “I… I am sorry… I just… it hurt a lot to lose them… It was easier to blame you and ignore you… than to admit that only Nim was at fault and knowing I could do nothing to get rid of the anger and fear and… I am sorry… I know it is a bad excuse and…” rustling.

Ccino glances upwards and sees a lot of tiny flowers start to bloom. All along the ceiling and top of the bedposts. The flowers themselves are full and seem to have double blossoms. He can’t quite see in the low light but thinks they may be pink? Carnations? Maybe…?

Ccino yawns as he falls asleep. For the first time in a long time feeling a little bit safe. He is okay… It is okay...

--

He glances over the wall and quickly ducks down again. Shit more guards.

Seriously did that abusive asshole up the guards again?! Honestly you would think she is insecure with the amount of guards.

He huffs as he glances around. He could double back and go through the garden again. Use the bushes as cover as he makes his way to the castle…

He sighs as he rubs his cheek, flicking the tar like tears off of his hand. This is such a mess… It never was this hard to sneak in before. Killer can know as he used to do this monthly! And the only reason he didn’t do it more often was because he and Ink had work and missions to do!

Killer sees his chance and rushes behind some guards. He manages to get past the first open space and quickly dives into one of the servant tunnels to get into the cellar.

Killer is a fucking idiot.

He had been miserable for the last month. Just staring ahead and be distracted. It had come to an end because Ink, INK, had told him that if he wanted to see his boyfriend so badly he should just go to him.

So now Killer is here, right in the capital sneaking into the castle to see if he can beg and gravel enough to get Ccino to give him another chance.

Killer is still mentally working on his apology. He hasn’t come much further than admitting he is a coward and an idiot.

Ccino had asked him to stay, and Killer had said no. You know. Like an asshole.

But then Killer had the fucking nerve to feel hurt when Ccino asked him to not return. No Killer said no to giving Ccino even the tiniest bit of comfort and support while he was struggling but Killer got sad that Ccino didn’t want to also risk more trouble if Killer was discovered.

Killer pops his skull out of the panel and glances around. Wine barrels all around but no actual people. Killer climbs out of the tunnel and carefully and quietly closes the panel again. He inches towards the ladder and slowly climbs it.

Killer had left, as asked, and been sad and miserable. Worse that with time it became painfully obvious that Killer had truly valued his own freedom over the time he spend with Ccino, as if those can not go together.

How selfish is he? That Killer is unwilling to let Ccino choose his own freedom? But makes sure Killer keeps it himself?

Killer gets out of the cellar and glances around the hall. He goes from shadow to shadow as he tries to move quietly but remain on the move. It is important that he doesn’t stop. If he stops he can be spotted and discovered. Movement is your friend in this situation.

Killer truly can’t stand the idea of living in a world without Ccino. And because Killer is weak and a coward he denied Ccino his own freedom. He denied him the chance to live.

Killer had figured… That even if Ccino was stuck here that he could keep visiting him. Keep bringing him gifts and presents. Little pieces of the world that Killer himself was keeping him away from.

Killer groans as he puts his face into his hands “Focus focus. Just. Focus. Get to his room.” Prison “And just… Make it okay!” Well not okay… “Okay. Make it a bit better!” He just wants to see him so badly. He wants to hear him speak. Even if it is to shout at him!

Killer’s mind hisses at the very thought. Ccino would never. He is too kind and an actual good person. Even when Killer denied him everything he wanted each time over and over he was always nice. He is too nice.

This fucking world does not deserve him… Killer doesn’t deserve him.

Killer glances around the corner and rushes over towards the next hallway. This part sucks as he just needs to run to get there.

He still isn’t sure how to tell him he is sorry. That the truth was that he was terrified of losing the person he was. That he was afraid that staying in the castle would make him lose himself. That he is sorry that he wasn’t strong enough. It wouldn’t have even been forever! Ccino… had already been…

It had been a matter of time…

He could have handled it. He should have been able to handle it!

He finds the door and grins. Finally. It is tugged away deep in the castle. Only one door and no windows. The fact the door is only lockable form the outside still gives Killer the bad shivers. He kneels down and takes out his lock picks. A push here and-

The door opens immediately.

Killer sits frozen for a moment but no one walks out. He frowns and nudges the door open…

Only to find the room completely empty.

Killer stares.

No. No no no… There is no way. There is no way he is… gone… there is no way!

Maybe… Maybe Nim was being a freak again? An asshole and a rapist and abuser? Maybe Ccino was in Nim’s room? Because Nim was a piece of shit and wanted to hurt him?

Killer rushes down the halls again. New destination clear in mind.

It was a risk to go through the castle instead through the outside but he needs to see him. Please. Please still be okay. Don’t make him have lost him already. He thought… He had hoped he would have at least a little while. To hold him and actually be there for him for once. To feel that love a little bit longer even if Ccino hated him now.

He rushes past guards and can’t help but notice there are a lot more guards than usual. There is a nervous energy in the air and Killer just pushes his limbs to move faster.

He finally finds the king’s room and he listens. He hears nothing. He sees no bright light under the door… He unlocks this door and pushes the door open.

The room is familiar… but empty again.

He wants to cry. No please. He knows… he knows he doesn’t deserve it… he knows he ruined the most beautiful thing and he ever had and his soul hurts. But he had just wanted to see him… to apologise and at least try to be there for the other. At least for a little bit.

He rubs his sockets to wipe the stupid tears away. No. Don’t. You aren’t allowed to do that. You don’t deserve to be sad about it when you are part of the cause of it.

Footsteps and he glances around. He rushes towards the balcony and pretty much launches himself out of it. He grabs some vines and hangs there silently. There is silence before the door is closed again.

Okay. What now? Killer has no idea what to do now. He hadn’t considered the thoughts that maybe Ccino would be gone already….

He sighs as he leans his skull against the wall.

This he does deserve. To live with this regret for the rest of his life.

He sighs as he glances around before noticing something… There is a rose growing on the vine… That is new. He leans backwards a bit and notices that the roses are following one direction specifically. It takes him a moment but he ends up following. May as well and his curiosity is peaked.

He ends up climbing along the wall of the tower which leads to be almost above the courtyard. He follows it back down a bit as his mental map of the place shifts to give him a general idea of where he is and-

The flowers bloom most by a very, very, small balcony… One he knows so well.

Ccino and him used to sit there, hidden by darkness and the banister. Talking and laughing softly until deep in the evening. He gave Ccino their first kiss right there…

Killer ends up standing there as he glances inside.

There is a shadow in Ccino’s bed. His soul speeds up and he rushes inside.

He is here. The light feeling in his soul is overwhelming. It is too much and he dashes towards the bed. To be by his side. He smiles and sits down on the bed and checks his face. He is asleep. He looks exhausted but he is here and alive and Killer could cry!

Ccino hums sleepily as his sockets open just a bit and they are staring at one another. Killer holds his breath as Ccino looks confused at him “Killer?” he sounds so tired.

Killer feels any hesitation melt away when Ccino just looks at him. There is not a smitch of hate on his face. Just soft confusion. Killer smiles as he carefully wraps his arms around the other “Hey… I am here…” He is here.

Ccino stares at him before a soft smile covers his face. It is beautiful. Ccino hums as he pushes close into his arms “Mmh… This is my favourite dream…”.

It takes a moment before Killer can focus on what he said over how adorable that sleepy voice is and how much Killer missed hearing it.

A dream?

Killer chuckles as he nuzzles him “A dream?”

Ccino hums again as he relaxes in his hold “Yeah… that is the only time you are here… when you are back…” his eyes are closed and he looks so relaxed “When you love me…”

Killer freezes as he pulls him closer “I do love you. I love you so much.”

Ccino however doesn’t seem to wake up more. Instead he just pushes himself fully against him as he smiles contently.

Fully believing this is nothing but a dream… and Killer can’t even blame him… Killer hardly ever made it obvious how much he loves him after all. It wasn’t even clear to Killer for a long time…

Killer is a selfish person. He has known that for a long time now. But as he holds Ccino, someone so beautiful both inside and outside. Someone so caring and too good for this world. Someone Killer does not deserve to have look at him. Killer realises it once again.

Ccino rarely asked for things. And then one time he actually asked for something? It had been to be free with Killer. And when Killer didn’t want to give that to him, when Killer denied it even after offering it? Because he had been scared of his own reaction, his own impulsive decision to offer the idea of running away to Ccino. Killer had later on be relieved that Ccino hadn’t agreed. As it has been an impulsive action and offer. Killer didn’t even have an idea on how to help Ccino escape… Only for Ccino to later say he did want to do it. Risk it all. Die after only a month or two? It they were lucky? Hearing that caused panic in tow different ways; one, it brought back to shock and fear of how his own feelings and emotions had changed; but two, the fear of waking up one day knowing that Ccino was gone.

He denied Ccino’s one wish to escape. He denied Ccino his own choice to escape and be free. To do with his life what he wanted. Killer still can’t believe he did that… That Ccino didn’t hate him for it afterwards…

Then, as if that wasn’t the worst, the second thing Ccino ever asked for anything. It was simply for Killer to stay with him as he had been scared. Killer had choosing his own freedom over Ccino’s needs. Ccino had understood. Never blamed him. But Killer is scum.

Two things. That is all Ccino ever asked of him. Just two things. And he did neither.

Killer pulls Ccino close. Ccino isn’t even fully awake. Fully believing that Killer is just a dream his tired and desperate mind called up. Killer still whispers promises to him. That Killer will stay this time. That he isn’t going anywhere. He will actually be there when Ccino wakes up.

Killer does not deserve any of the love Ccino offers him. But at least he can start trying to be worthy of it.

It is even worse to see that glass rose right there. On the nightstand. Nearby and still looking pristine. Ccino kept it. After everything… with all the trauma and fear and hurt he was forced through again, by Killer as well, he still kept it.

Killer softly kisses the top of the skull before frowning. Wait… does Ccino even still want him to do this? Is he allowed? He doesn’t… he shouldn’t do this until he gets the okay. It is unfair to just take. But that is what Killer does isn’t it? Just take and take and take…

Not this time.

Killer had already made too many mistakes when it came to them and their situationship. Killer wants to kiss his face all over but stops himself as he mutters instead “It is okay… I am not leaving you this time.” He had spent quite a while thinking. Realising his mistakes and how he had just…

It hadn’t started with feelings. Don’t get him wrong, he had been attracted to Ccino from the start and how could you not?! The problem was. It had started as a game. Try to break into the palace of the god-king. The person who had been worshipped by the people where he grew up. The people who told him he was nothing. It was to prove he was better, he could sneak right into the heart of her castle and be fine.

So breaking and entering had been a game between jobs with Ink. It was to feel good about his skills. The fact he managed to find Ccino? Had just been nice. It has been fun to hang out with him and laugh.

It had been another win for him. Being this close to one of Nim’s dear special harem mates. And Ccino was great! Ccino was nice and sweet and always so interested in the stories he told him.

He had seen it as him winning when Ccino didn’t reject him. When they had spent the night together…

It wasn’t until… Until Killer learned that Ccino very much did not like Nim at all. That he was forced to be with her and how much it bothered him.

And he just treated their sex as something fun on the side. He had treated their whole thing as something casual that meant nothing!

He is an asshole.

Killer nuzzles the skull as he mutters “I swear I will be better now. I promise you… I promise I love you. I really do… It just took me a while.” Because he is an idiot. Because he was blind and scared for what he felt. That he couldn’t see how much he loved him.

Killer knew Ccino loved him. Pretty quickly after spending more time together with him to offer some support. To have Ccino lean against him and be honest about how he was feeling and how tough it was. It made him feel special. That show of trust showed Killer exactly how Ccino felt about him. Killer at least had cared enough to not break his heart while he was being vulnerable. At least Killer managed to offer support even if, at the time, he had thought he didn’t love Ccino.

Shows again how much of an idiot Killer had been. Killer had loved the other for a long time. It just wasn’t until he was send away, a very reasonable request after Killer once again denied him his freedom, that it started to hurt.

Killer had felt like he was going insane. Ccino was all he could think about. Other options and ideas kept popping into his mind to save him. Or things he should have said or offered instead. Hell! Even Ink noticed!

So here he is now. Back right in the lion’s nest so to speak. For the first time in months feeling completely happy and content as he holds the other. As if things are finally making sense again.

He lays his head on top of Ccino’s. Feelings of being content spreading through his soul and body as he relaxed. It feels good to be by his side again. Killer whispers again “I promise you I won’t fail you again. This time I will be by your side and help you.” He already wasted so much time with being a coward. With being an asshole. Not anymore. Not now.

He gets to enjoy this peace for a little while. Just listening as he holds his… well not partner or boyfriend. Killer doesn’t know everything about relationships but he knows enough to figure out that Killer rejecting Ccino’s two wishes to remain together and Ccino sending him away probably equals that they euh… Can you break up from a relationship that isn’t officially a relationship?

It doesn’t matter. Even if Ccino doesn’t even want to look at him anymore. That is okay. Killer is going to do things right this time. To support him and be there for him. For as long as Ccino lets him and when he is gone…

Well… That will be time for Killer to have to deal with what he did. Remember all their times together and regret not having done things right sooner. Regret all the time he wasted.

But that is for later. He now has to focus on the other. For once not put someone else’s emotions, wants and needs first.

Footsteps…

Slowly coming closer.

Killer opens one of his sockets as he glances at the door. It won’t take long before whoever is coming closer will be here. Killer smiles softly at Ccino and whispers to him as he puts their skulls together “Don’t worry okay? I am going to do things right. I am not leaving you.” Let Nim come. Killer has a surprise for her. A tri-dagger. It took Killer a while to get one but these are supposed to leave very lethal wounds.

He plans to not just make one either.

The door opens and Killer remains still. His dark sockets making him look to part of being out cold. Let them come close and strike- that isn’t Nim.

Instead there stands a guard. Who stares at him before they speak furiously “What the fuck are you doing?!”

A few things happen at once. Killer is up on the headboard instantly, perched easily as he takes out his special knife. Damn, he had hoped for no witnesses as that always messes things up.

The guard has their own weapon drawn and out. Aimed right at the bed, and Killer specifically. But Killer doesn’t care about that. How fucking dare that asshole aim that thing anywhere near Ccino?!

Ccino looks around confused and he looks actually awake now. He glances around before Killer sees him focus on him “Killer?”

The guard sputters “That is Killer?!” then the guard quickly closes the door before glaring at Killer “If it isn’t the useless ex.”

Ccino flinches and Killer glares but he stashes the knife. Ccino isn’t even looking at him anymore thanks to that asshole.

Killer huffs “And you are the asshole who wakes up an obviously tired pregnant guy. Way to be considered.”

Ccino isn’t looking at either for them as he toys with the blanket. The guard nears them and Killer is glaring.

Worse is when the guard helps Ccino fully up right and makes sure the blanket is still around him. Killer hates this guard. He hates them so much.

The guard huffs as they stare at him after they are done moving Ccino around “What are you even doing here? I thought you ran with your tail between your legs when you were asked for the tiniest bit of commitment.”

Ccino glares at the guard “Rogers.” he hisses.

Killer is trying to slow his breathing. Ccino… Ccino wouldn’t have said that. At least never with those words. Their own conclusion maybe? Killer sees Ccino glance at him before looking away immediately.

Rogers looks unapologetic “What? It is the truth.” He glares back at Killer.

Killer glares right back “It is none of your concern.” He carefully sits back down on the bed. He wants to pull Ccino into another embrace. He used to do that all the time but is he allowed to do that still? He was never this conscious about his moves before right? Why does it feel like he isn’t allowed to do any of it anymore?

Right… because he left…

The guard, Rogers apparently, glares at him “None of that. Away from Ccino and the bed.” He nods towards the side “I think we all here know you can not be trusted.”

Ccino shoots Rogers a look as Killer glares at the guard. This fucking asshole.

Ccino mutters “It is fine… If he wants to sit there it is fine…” Killer can’t help but puffs up his chest a little at that. Take that asshole! Killer is allowed!

Rogers frowns at Ccino “Is that something you want? Or is it something you are saying because he wants it?”

Killer feels his soul freeze at that as he glances at Ccino. It is because Ccino wants it right?

Ccino doesn’t look up as he just messes with his blankets.

Right?

Killer goes to reach towards Ccino but Ccino tenses.

No… please no…

Killer isn’t sure what to do. He doesn’t know what to say to make this right. Please. Please he is so sorry.

A hand grabs his shoulder and Killer yelps as he is pulled off the bed. Killer glares at Rogers as Ccino stares at him “Rogers?”

Rogers grins at Ccino “I am just going to talk with him. It is okay. This is stressing you and your twins out.”

Ccino frowns but doesn’t go against it. Rogers mentions that some Robin will come bring him food later and that Ccino still has some time to relax. Then Rogers drags him outside of the room.

They are left standing in a brightly lit hall. Rogers sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose as he closes his eyes. He mutters about things getting even more complicated.

Killer glares “What the fuck do you want?”

Rogers stops and stares at him “Seriously? You think that is what this is about? And not about the fact that you are toying with one of my friend’s feelings just so you can get your adrenaline kick in?”

Killer glances to the side and hisses through his teeth “It isn’t like that.” Not now. Maybe before but not anymore. This isn’t about… Well it is sort of still about what he feels and wants but it isn’t about having fun or something stupid! It is about Killer wanting to do what is right. To actually be there for someone who only ever loved him.

Rogers rubs his temper as he clearly thinks “Listen. If I had it may way? I would either give you to the other guards to deal with after mentioning you were trying to break into Ccino’s room. Kick you out of a window, or finish you myself. But I can’t.”

Killer snorts as he crosses his arms “You know you would lose I assume?” He feels smug.

Rogers looks at him as if he is an idiot “Because Ccino for some stupid reason still loves you and quite honestly I don’t want to hurt him by hurting you.”

Killer’s smile falls from his face.

Rogers sighs again as he glares down the hall. Clearly thinking for a moment before looking at him “Why are you here?”

Killer crosses his arms as he looks to the side. Feeling too exposed as he keeps glancing around the hall “It is none of your business.”

Rogers looks unimpressed “If it is about Ccino that automatically makes it my business.”

Killer glares back at Rogers “And why do you think that?! He isn’t yours!” He was barely Killer’s. And how badly Killer had wanted that to have been the case. He can accept that he doesn’t deserve Ccino or his love or to call him his. But he is not going to accept some random guy saying Ccino is his! Killer refuses to accept that! If Ccino is going to be anyone’s Ccino is going to be… well… Ccino’s!

Rogers glares right back “Because I am his friend. And unlike you Robina dn I actually give  ashit about how he feels and try to help him.”

Killer glares “You don’t fucking know how I feel. Stop acting as if you do.”

“You left him once before. And I quite honestly don’t know if he can pull himself together if you do it again.”

Killer stops when he hears that. Rogers doesn’t even look smug about making him quiet. Rogers just looks tired. Rogers stares at him “At this point there are only two options as any other option would hurt him. Either you go now. Say you just wanted a chance to clear stuff up and say goodbye. You actually end this whole thing fully and reasonable. Or, if you decide to stay. You stay. You stay with him and help him until the end.” Rogers sighs as he rubs his face “God knows he deserves to have something he wants for once.”

Killer feels himself grow angry again “I wasn’t going to leave. I came back for a fucking reason you asshole. And it has nothing to do with what you said. I wanted to be with him.”

Rogers raises an eyebrow as he looks so unimpressed “Really? And what about your past track record would have been a clue for that option?”

Killer glares as he huffs “I am going to go back to Ccino now as this is a waste of precious time.” So precious. He already wasted so much. He can’t waste even more on some wannebe guard. He walks towards the door and Rogers stops him again.

Rogers speaks softly “He has gone through a lot. Just… Don’t add more stress to him.” He lets go and goes to stand by the wall across from the door. Seemingly to do his guard duty.

Killer enters the room again and sees Ccino look up and the anxious face transforms into surprise “Killer? You are… still here?” The surprise. The disbelieve.

Killer rushes to his side and slowly climbs back on the bed and very slowly reaches over. Ccino is still as Killer wraps his arms around him. Holding him close before frowning. He feels cold… Killer grabs the blanket and tugs it closer around Ccino “Fuck you are freezing… do you want to take a bath? Warm up a bit?” or are there clothes around? Maybe a nice warm sweater would be nice. He still feels so thin. Aren’t these guys feeding him still? Killer should have grabbed food along the way. Something for Ccino to enjoy, and maybe as a peace offering.

Ccino just stares at him “Why are you here?”

Killer gives an uncertain smile, he kicks down the instinct to look away, to not have to see Ccino look at him. Instead he answers “Honestly… I missed you.”

Ccino gets a small smile before it falls, it is gone before it was even fully there. He looks down and mutters “I don’t… I didn’t… I thought…” He frowns and stops.

Killer leans against him as he tries to share his own body heat with him. Killer wishes he hadn’t been a skeleton monster. Skeleton monsters have terrible heat preservation in their bodies. Killer just hums as he rubs his arms to try and get some heat into him. Even if Killer doesn’t interrupt it seems the Ccino still ends up not saying a lot. Instead he just leans into the hold.

They sit silently for a moment before Killer snorts “Your friend? Rogers? He hates me.” He makes sure to grin and look amused.

Ccino winces “He doesn’t hate you.” he pauses before sighing “He just… doesn’t approve I think?”

Killer snorts as he hugs him “Nah. He approves anything that makes you happy. He just hates my guts.” Which he deserves. “Which is fine btw. I am not scared of a guy glaring. Just…” He shoots Ccino a look “He never like.. tried anything right?” Because if he did they would have issues.

Ccino frowns before looking highly amused “Rogers? Try anything? Nah. I am pretty sure he isn’t into that whole thing. He cares about Robin and me but we are friends. I think Rogers has zero interest in either relationships or sex. I think he is going to end up marrying his job if he has any choice…” Ccino looks thoughtful “Same for Robin honestly.”

It calms Killer as he snorts “You know what? Fair enough.” He leans his skull against Ccino and waits for a moment “Is this okay? I know… I know I was a jerk… and asshole… I shouldn’t have left. I am sorry I abandoned you and… It is totally okay if you don’t want me to hug you anymore.” It is okay. Just… open communication. He can say if he is uncomfortable and Killer will respect the boundaries he sets. Easy!

Ccino glances at him. He looks confused “I… don’t think you were being a jerk? And this is fine. Really. It is nice… It is nice to have someone near.” He has a small smile on his face.

Killer however is stuck on the first thing he mentioned. “How can you…” Not hate me. Not be disgusted with me “Say I was not rude? I abandoned you.”

Ccino frowns at him. Still some confusion on his face “But… you didn’t?” He must see something on Killer’s face as his confusion becomes a gentle smile. He raises a hand and rubs Killer’s cheek and Killer leans into the hand “Hey… Just because we had different expectations doesn’t mean you abandoned me… You were not responsible for my wellbeing Killer. I never saw you as responsible for that. It would have been unfair to place such expectations on you.” He smiles at him.

Killer frowns “But… you wanted me to stay. And I just left.” The hurt on his face. The sad expression is burned into Killer’s memory.

Ccino just keeps smiling sadly “It is true… I wanted you to stay… But that is just it Killer. It is what I wanted. And you didn’t want it. It would have been unfair of me to expect something of you that you didn’t want. To expect you to be miserable for my comfort.” Ccino smiles at him “I never meant for you to feel responsible for me Killer. If… if you want to leave. That is okay.” he smiles.

Killer can see it. Ccino means it. There is not a smidge of doubt on his face.

Killer holds him close. Feels the other against him as he mutters “I want to stay. With you specifically. It can be anywhere as long as I am with you. I had needed time, I think, to see that. To understand that.”

Ccino hums as he leans into his hold. His own arms still shielding his sternum. Where his soul lies, where his soullings lie. “I get it. A lot happened in a very short time. It was overwhelming you.” and he gives another smile.

What did Killer do to get him to love him? Honestly what was it? Killer doesn’t know. He tries it again “I just… it feels…” he takes a deep breath “It felt like such an asshole thing. It wasn’t a big deal… I could have stayed to give you comfort and support… and I just ran away. Scared for my own comfort.”

Ccino just keeps looking at him gently “I will just be repeating myself but… it is true. I know before I even asked it that it would be unfair to ask of you to stay. To ask you to give up something you loved.” Ccino looks amused “I am not an idiot Killer. I know you loved traveling. And I am aware of that what you do isn’t exactly legal.” Killer feels sheepish and it must show as Ccino just looks more amused “I knew it means the world to you.” he lays his hand on Killer’s hand “It is also part of why I asked you to not return, when you didn’t want to stay. I knew it would be more dangerous and just unsafe for you to remain. I knew security would be higher with the heirs on their way. I will admit it was partly to help me…” Ccino laughs as he rubs his cheek. His smile turning sadder as he speaks “It isn’t your fault that I got more emotionally invested into something that was just supposed to be fun.” He looks sad by the admission.

Killer hugs him closer to him. feel the curve of the other’s spine against his front “I love you.”

Ccino sighs “You don’t need to lie Killer. I know that Rogers… he probably told you to be nice because… well…” he chuckles “The twins will eventually cause my soul to burst.” He leans more against him “But I don’t want you to lie. I don’t want you to say or do stuff you don’t feel comfortable and happy with. Stuff you don’t want.” He smiles up at Killer “I am tougher than I look. I won’t break that easily.”

Killer puts his skull against Ccino’s “Ccino.” It feels so good to be close to him again “I came back because I wanted to be near you. Because I missed you and wanted a chance to make up for abandoning you.” He stares at him “I really do love you.”

He can see that Ccino hears him.

He can also see that Ccino doesn’t believe him.

Ccino sighs but leans into his arms as he just rests.

Killer frowns but holds him. It is to be expected. Killer hasn’t exactly acted like someone in love should. Killer will need to show he does love him. That he truly cares. That he isn’t just some past time or amusement.

They sit in silence and Killer hums “We will need to think of something about keeping me out of sight of Nim.” Maybe he can still join the guard? Or steal armour to look the part? That way he can blend in.

Ccino blinks and looks confused at Killer “Rogers didn’t tell you?”

Killer tilts his skull “Tell me what? And aside from telling me I was an asshole in many ways he didn’t say much.” No need to stress Ccino out about what the fact that Rogers threatened to end Killer. Not in that many words of course but it was implied!

Ccino rubs his cheek as he looks to the side. He looks… Awkward? “We don’t really need to worry about her anymore…”

Killer feels hope blossom in his soul “Did she finally lose her weird obsession with you? That is amazing news!” Ccino gets to relax and focus on himself! Maybe they can sneak in more food for him.

Ccino laughs as he looks downright sheepish “She… euh… Is dead.”

Killer blinks. He is happy of course. Fuck yeah that fucking freak and pedophile of a monster is finally gone! But… why does Ccino not look happy? And…wait…

Killer frowns “I thought the whole deal was that she could only like die by passing the magic stuff along? And well…” he looks pointedly at the sternum Ccino is still covering “I don’t think they can get magic when they are still soullings right?”

Ccino rubs his cheek “I mean… She didn’t… she was murdered?” He grins sheepish “I… may have indirectly caused her dead?” and he waits.

Killer knows he is staring.

By the stars Killer loves this monster.

--

Ccino told him what he knew after that.

Killer listened to the whole thing and stares in wonder up at the plants hanging above the bed now.

Now that he thinks about it. The last time he was in this room it was much more stone and marble. Everything felt cold and was a more greyish colour. Now the floors were a warm brown and clear wooden planks. The walls are a lighter brown and the branch like texture is clearer than ever and Killer thinks there are even some new tiny twigs growing. The bed is beautiful now as the posts are covered in light green vines and the top of the bed has an almost net of leaves with bright coloured flowers.

Ccino glances at him and rubs his hands “I know it must sound insane.” He looks sad.

Killer shakes his skull “No! I mean. It sounds strange but this country has been ruled by a family that did a shifty magic ritual to pass along a god magic type of deal that enables them to life anywhere between 500 and a 1000 years. To hear that this magic rebelled? It is not the strangest thing.” And more importantly “And I think… I may have kinda met it?”

Ccino stares at him in shock “What?!”

Killer holds up his hands “I didn’t know?! I just… The first time I snuck in? It was coincidence. I took a wrong turn.” He still remembers seeing Ccino. All dressed up and pretty. Light make up to highlight some of his features and clothes so bare that Killer hadn’t known where to look and afraid to move. Then Ccino had been sassy and humorous as he send him on his way? Killer is pretty sure he fell a little bit right then and there, and no he isn’t talking about his small trip out of the window, how he didn’t realise until later is beyond him.

The thing is. After that?

“It was the visits after. When I would try to sneak in to get to you.” it had been to prove that he was better, smarter? Than Nim. Getting to hang out with Ccino was the greatest bonus to that ever. “The thing is. I never knew beforehand where you were? I would be sneaking around and notice like… plants? Easy to climb vines. Small flowers that had bright colour to grab my attention?” It had been guiding him. Right to Ccino.

He grins at Ccino “It must have been trying to help us. A little?”

Ccino looks shocked as he looks down. His hand raised near his sternum. Killer thinks it is cute to see. The way that he seems to automatically seems to guard his soullings. Killer hums as he holds the other close.

Ccino is frowning “Maybe… I still don’t… understand why it made them sick… Why it made Nightmare and Dream sick.” He leans into his embrace.

Killer hums and shrugs “I don’t know… but maybe It had reasons that we just didn’t know. Seeing as It moved to defend you? Protected you and referred to the twins as yours? I think It may have had plans that we don’t understand.” Killer shrugs “Maybe It was trying to remove any of Nim’s magic and influence?” it is a guess.

Ccino gains a small smile “Maybe… it is strange… I just keep wondering if I did something to anger It. That I did something to make It mad and make It hurt the twins. That it was my fault in some way that they died.”

Killer holds him close “Hey.” Ccino flinches and Killer has none of it “No please Ccino look at me.” Ccino glances up. There is just guilt and grieve on his face. “Ccino. You did nothing but love those two. You did nothing but do your best to love them and make sure they were okay. You were not the one who failed them. You did what you could. It must have seen that too, It must have been aware of that.”

Ccino just looks sadder “Then why did I have to lose them? It hurts so much. I still miss them so much.” He sobs and laughs softly “I almost… I almost want to believe her. That she kept their souls and planted them in mine specifically. It feels like… It feels like I am fixing my past mistakes. That I can at least give them a chance at life as I failed and.” He sobs.

Killer holds him close. Just lets him cry. Killer doesn’t understand what Ccino is saying and implying but with how Nim is? How insane she was? Killer wouldn’t be surprised if she told him some wild story to make Ccino more complacent and willing. Killer will ask him later. For now? For now he will just hold him.

In the end Ccino just lays against him. Hiding his face in Killer’s shoulder. Breathing calming slowly as he seems to calm down. Killer just rubs his back. Some tiny part happy that Ccino trusts him enough to use him as support, and as shield for his soullings. It feels good. To be there for him. To actually help in some tiny way.

Ccino pulls away and chuckles as he wipes his face “Sorry for that… I know crying isn’t really… shouldn’t happen…”

Killer frowns “Why not?” he snorts as he motions towards the ever present tar like tears on his face “I literally do it all the time.”

Ccino looks slightly panicked “Oh no I didn’t! I didn’t mean for you! It is just… a thing.” He rubs his neck “Everyone, well not everyone but you get it, always told me to not cry. Something about it leaving marks and like stuff near the sockets? That it would make me less pretty and well Nim deserved the best.”

Killer groans “Fucking assholes all of them. Crying is good for you! It helps like soul and emotion stuff! If you keep it all bottled up it just hurts.” he swears if he hears anyone make a comment like that he is stabbing them.

Ccino looks a bit more unsure “Sorry… I just…”

Killer shakes his skull “Not against you Ccino.” He holds his hand “You did nothing wrong. I swear.” Ccino looks a tiny bit calmer.

Then the door opens.

A human woman walks in. She does not look impressed “No sex with the pregnant and weakened monster.” She walks over.

Ccino sputters and looks embarrassed “Robin! We weren’t!” he shoots Killer a look before just blushing more.

Robin hums as she walks over, she is carrying trays of food, “Don’t worry. Rogers gave me the run down.” She shoots Killer a look “Pleasure to meet the guy that Ccino used to sneak out of parties for. I hope you like fruit and dough as stuff like that is what is on the menu.”

Killer frowns “Not that I mind… but I thought meat as an export.”

Both Ccino and Robin look pained. Ccino is the one that answers “No… euh… So… Ever since Nim was gone and I have been like…” he searches for the words “Pretty much in an even worse lock down as I got the next generation of god-kings in me? The priest has spoken with me a lot. And well, I pretty much said I only really trust Rogers and Robin?”

Robin nods “Priest put us two in charge of making sure that Ccino is okay.” she looks deeply annoyed “Well the priest said specifically the heirs. But you get the jest.”

Killer frowns as he looks from one to the other “What was that to do with the meat situation?”

Robin sighs “Well, I got a list from the medics and healers about what is good for pregnant monsters and stuff.” She looks annoyed “As if I don’t know. Either way. I saw that meat was one of the things on the list so I went to the storage and decided to investigate what was around.” She shrugs at his questioning look “I was reading into which meat was best and healthiest for him. I wanted to see what was available and if I had to ration anything out…”

“That is how I found out our meat was imported from Whispering.”

Killer stares before he stares horrified “Holy shit… human meat?!”

Robin nods “Indeed!! Which… yeah. No.” Ccino nods in agreement as he looks slightly sick. “We have been going with vegetarian meals for Ccino now but that means a lot of different ingredients and stuff.”

Killer nods because holy shit. That is a lot. He never actually taste human meat, not even when he and Ink had a mission in Whispering.

Robin grins “Either way!” she puts down the bowls with oatmeal with all kinds of fruits. She sets down a plate with tiny rolls of cake like bread with a spread in the middle. She points at the oatmeal “Oatmeal with banana, strawberry and blueberries.” She points to the cakelike roll “Vanila sweet break roll.” She looks begging at Ccino “Just eat what you can. Put everything else aside for later okay?” she smiles as she gets up. Ccino says his thanks before she leaves them to eat.

Killer frowns “Does she always leave after giving food?”

Ccino looks embarrassed “No. Usually she eats with me… but well… you are here and… I guess she is giving us time to catch up.” He is blushing and looking away and to the side.

Killer feels his soul wiggle and flutter as Ccino looks so shy. To distract both of them he grabs a bowl and holds it up to Ccino as peace offering.

Ccino luckily takes it and starts to eat. He makes sure to eat the fruit first and Killer joins him. Makes sure the other doesn’t feel weird about eating alone and he tries to match Ccino. He eats a lot slower than Killer but he doesn’t mind.

Ccino actually starts to look a bit better as he seems to sigh happily with each bite. Clearly enjoying the food.

He pauses when the bowl isn’t completely empty as he shudders.

It is terrifying. To see the way that his cheeks seem to grow a little thinner. To see him start to shake as the heat in his body seems to leave him. Killer is quick to wrap the blanket back around him and puts his own jacket around him as well.

Killer looks anxiously at him. Ccino however is calm as he smiles. He has dark exhausted marks under his sockets now “The two little soullings need to eat… It isn’t exactly as if we are made to support two souls… It is hard to… have the nutrients and energy for both of them.” he waves around “It is why I stay here… I usually sleep a lot. Only waking to take a bath and to eat four times a day.” He laughs as he rubs his cheek.

Killer frowns “It was never this bad… before…” he thinks at least. He never saw the full thing.

Ccino shrugs “I used to get magic injections. It felt terrible and I hated them but. Well. It was much easier to keep up with the demand for magic that way even if I still didn’t eat. I prefer food though, even if I am almost always tired and don’t have any mana or magic or energy left for anything but the soullings.” He leans against him as he shudders.

Killer nods as he files that away to keep an eye on “Need to aly down and rest?”

Ccino shakes his skull as “No. I just. Need a moment to let them absorb magic. Then I should be able to eat a bit more… and well… I enjoy talking to you.” he smiles at him.

Killer chuckles as he nuzzles the skull by his own “I am not going anywhere Ccino. I swear.”

Ccino laughs as he nods and relaxes.

Killer hums as he thinks for a while before speaking “You know. I just thought of something?”

Ccino hums questioning.

Killer grins a little bit to himself “All I am saying is… Who says that Nim is the other parent you know?”

Ccino blinks at him confused “It are twins Killer.”

Killer nods “I know I know but. Hear me out. I am just saying. Everyone thought Nim is the other parent because everyone thought she was the only one you were intime with.” Which she truly had no right to “Maybe… Well… we were intime. And we are both skeletons and much more compatible. For all we know… Nim’s magic may have caused you to be able to carry and get twins… but maybe the twins weren’t made by her.”

Ccino frowns as he stares ahead.

Killer rubs his neck “I just… I thought… Maybe… if it aren’t your original twins… it is easier to think about them as twins that Nim had no influence over. That they were made from a night of” Love “consent and mutual fun.” He smiles.

Ccino stares at him and Killer suddenly gets another thought. What if it seems like Killer is trying to get a claim!?

“Obviously!! You are the parent! The real parent and like lawful parent! I mean!” Killer laughs nervously “We aren’t even married so they would  just be seen as your anyway and I would just be the babydaddy haha” even as he laughs his own sentence brings an image to mind he hadn’t thought about before. Ccino in wedding attire, would it be a dress? A suit? Maybe a curious combination?

Or maybe it would be one of the many other wedding rituals Killer knows of. Here you give the one you wish to marry a special wedding mask, either masterfully crafted or made by your own hands. Special markings to show the importance.

Other countries give rings and hold a party. To share a bond and celebrate it with those closest to the wedding pair.

Some other countries spend a few days tied to one another. To show they are connected and learn to truly work together. They end up wearing bracelets to signal this shared experience.

Ccino laughs softly, unaware of the absolute mess that Killer is now, he leans against Killer “It… is a nice thought… that Nim didn’t…” he sighs as he leans against Killer “But somewhere I also hope it really are Dream and Nightmare…”

Killer nuzzles him as sighs “That is okay. We will just have both options as the truth. If it truly are their souls in there it is them. If it turns out it aren’t them they are made of us instead.” He grins at Ccino “I just know they are going to be the most loved little babybones ever.”

Ccino stares in shock “Killer… I… If I am lucky I will get to meet them but that is it…”

It hurts to think. Killer focusses on the smile “You love them now… I think that counts.”

Ccino blinks before giving him a bright smile as he leans against him.

--

The whole day had been stressful.

The last month? Killer thinks it went by too fast. There isn’t enough time in the day to enjoy the time he gets to spend with Ccino. There isn’t enough time at night to hold the other close in a cuddle. There just. Wasn’t enough time.

And then his soul cracked. Ccino had been shaking silently and crying in pain. Not giving a kick even as the soullings broke his soul from the inside out. Too large.

It had been a miracle already. That it took so long before it happened. That Ccino’s soul had managed.

Something about the soullings having been very calm. Not pushing or pulsing within Ccino’s soul. Even if it meant that there was too little space and the two were stretching his soul the no movement kept things stable.

Doesn’t make this any better. Doesn’t make it better that he is this hurt now.

Killer had just held him. Held him close as the soulling separated completely.

And then the soullings just… left his body. Two bright little stars. Shining in the dark and quiet room.

Their bodies having been shaped with twin flashes or bright yellow and purple magic.

Leaving two tiny babybones behind.

Killer holds Ccino close as he shakes and shivers in his hold. Killer however is still in slight aw at the two babybones that Robin is slowly cleaning. He hadn’t thought… It was insane… The light the magic… shit…

Killer grins at Ccino ready to congratulate him when he realises that Ccino stopped shaking… stopped… breathing.

Killer feels everything go still “Ccino?” no response. Killer holds him closer and rubs his arm “Ccino… Ccino come on… please respond…” He… he knows what everyone said… that a monster soul can’t handle having two soullings at the same time… but it is Ccino! And he said these where his twins!

He lays completely limp against him. No movement at all.

Killer holds him close “Come on Ccino this isn’t funny…” please… please don’t do this… please don’t…

Killer glances down and he stops breathing. Small silvery dust slowly falling off of Ccino’s hand… his face is blank and peaceful.

Killer shakes “No… no no no no… Ccino please!” don’t… don’t leave him. He holds him close as he searches for any kind of sign of life. Anything at all.

There is none.

Killer shakes his skull as he mutters “come on… You need to still meet them. You wanted to see them so badly. Come on you need to be awake for that. You need to be aware for that.” Please. Please just one more moment. Just one more minute.

A loud inhale and Killer unwillingly looks away from Ccino only to stare. Large vines are slowly creeping towards where Robin and Rogers are holding the two tiny twins. From the ceiling they are falling.

No… No…

Killer looks around and spots some slowly creeping close to Ccino. The vines swipe the dust up and seem to absorb it?!

Killer holds Ccino closer and growls at whatever is there “No! No you don’t just get to… No!”

A moment of silence before Killer feels it. Emotions not his own. Silent insistence. A quiet demand. Almost like a parent. Telling you to put something down or give something back.

Killer shakes his skull again “He isn’t yours! You don’t just get to claim him.” it isn’t fair. It isn’t fair it isn’t fair!

The silent presence grows annoyed. Before a slight anger. Killer shudders under it as he holds Ccino. He isn’t letting him go. He isn’t giving this thing Ccino. Killer feels himself growl “No. You don’t get to act as if you have any right to him! You let him go through hell. You allowed that. You don’t get to act as if you have the best in mind for him now.”

Killer would hate to lose Ccino. He would hate more for Ccino to once again be claimed by something god like. To once again be trapped. He doesn’t deserve that.

Killer will grief for the rest of his life. But he is not letting Ccino go from one cage to the next. He isn’t going to let whatever it is take him and his twins.

Silence. Nudges at his mind and Killer shakes as flashes before his mind. Ccino for a moment. Smiling and happy. Another of him sad and alone. Then pictures of older people. Or people going from pretty to ugly. A silent demand.

Killer frowns as he looks around confused “What are you implying? That Ccino will grow older?! That is the whole fucking point! Him living! Him getting to actually be with his twins?! After everything?” He told them before. He isn’t leaving. He is going to stay with Ccino until Ccino wants him gone. And even then Killer will make sure to check in, from a distance of course. He won’t interfere in his life but he will make sure he is okay.

Silence again.

Then he sees the vines retreat from where Robin is holding both the twins close. Protecting them. Killer looks down and stares at lines of yellowish green magic slowly near Ccino.

He stares at the dusted hand is put back together dust particle by dust particle. Killer can see the shining outline of Ccino’s soul. The one that is broken into shards slowly melt back into one whole soul.

Ccino shudders and gasps as he looks around confused.

Killer holds his face “Ccino? Ccino please tell me it is you…?”

Ccino looks confused “Kill…Kills?” he shakes and looks around panicked “Where… where are…” he looks so scared.

Robin is quicker as she sits next to him and whispers “Look. They are both here.” She hands both of them to Ccino.

Ccino stares and laughs “It… it is them… it is really them… Nighty… Little Dream… They are both…” he sobs as he leans against Killer.

Killer just holds them. His soul still shaking as he glances around. Seeing that more flowers had grown.

Killer laughs as he hugs Ccino close. He feels his own normal tears mix with the tar normally leaking. He is so happy… He… he did at least something… He truly actually helped.

Maybe It had always been planning this. Maybe It was testing them. Maybe Killer managed to change It’s mind. Or maybe It just felt like doing this in the moment.

It doesn’t matter. Ccino is alive. Ccino is okay. That is all that matters.

Ccino looks happily at him as he raises the twins, he nudges one with purple eyes with a very tiny yellow center “This is Nightmare.” He raises the other, yellow eyes with a tiny purple center but with yellow freckles “This is Dream.”

Killer grins and gentle shakes both the twins hands “Well hello there. I hope I am making a good first impression.” Ccino giggles and leans at him.

It is okay.

--

Rogers and Killer lean against the wall together as Robin and Ccino are washing the twins. The introduction of the twins had gone well even if everyone had been shocked to see Ccino alive.

It is why Killer is confused that Rogers pulled him aside.

Rogers glances around the halls “The original plan had been to say Ccino and the twins all died.”

Killer blinks and looks over.

Rogers doesn’t look at him “Robin and I knew that Ccino wouldn’t survive. The two of us made a plan. I would guard as today and Robin would be with Ccino to help. Then, after Ccino got to hold his twins and after he became dust… well… we would just lie. We would just say that Ccino and the twins all died at the same time. That the twins would have been to weak to exit his soul. As I reported what I saw Robin would be getting the twins out with the growing confusion. I would meet up with her and the twins later.”

Killer is in shock.

Rogers shrugs “We figured… As soon as those people got their hands on the twins? There is no way they would have been allowed to just be kids. And that is all that Ccino wanted… we were planning on just taking them away from this all. To get them somewhere where they could just be kids.” He sighs.

Killer frowns “But… Ccino is still here. He will make sure they can be kids right?”

Rogers glances to him and Killer feels afraid. That is not a good look.

Rogers sighs “The priest figured that… With Nim gone… there isn’t a real way to get them the magic or something… and well. He is saying it as a sign that Ccino survived…” Rogers frowns as he looks to the side “Blood magic and sacrifice magic is the priest most skilled in.”

Killer feels his breathing speed up. He has seen these type of rituals and knows they are not limited to small animals.

Killer focusses on Rogers “What is the plan?”

Rogers rubs his head “That is the problem. There are too many guards. Too many people who can get something out of this and are sticking around. We had been planning to use the confusion to get out. There is no window now. There is no time.” He sighs.

Killer thinks before remembering someone he had heard of in passing in Whispering. “I may know someone. But I need to find him first.” He looks unsure “What do tell Ccino?”

Rogers nods “We can buy a bit more time as you look for this guy.” He glances at the door “I don’t… want to lie. But I don’t want to stress him out either. He is already anxious about taking care of the twins now.”

Killer frowns and nods “I will just tell him it is a job. I need to find Ink as well as he may know how to find this guy.”

Rogers sighs “I hope this works.”

“Me too.”

--

Robin pushes the basket into Killers hands before skipping over to Ccino. Ccino smiles at his best friend as Robin hugs him “I love you. Have a good trip. Make sure to rest and eat.”

Ccino snorts “We are just going to the meadow Robin.”

Robin hums “I know I know. I am just saying.” She looks him in the eye “Don’t worry about us. We got things handled. Enjoy.” She winks “We know where to find you if we need you.” she grins and bows to the priest and guards before walking away to do work.

Killer snorts “Is she always like this?”

Ccino nods “If she is in a good mood. She hadn’t been in such a good mood in a while though. I wonder why.” It isn’t a date as Robin just doesn’t do that. Maybe the cooks are making her favourite tonight?

Killer holds his hand as they walk towards where Rogers is waiting with the twins. He hands one of them to each other them. Killer coos as he nuzzles the tiny head “hello there Daydream. Being a little menace?” Dream babbles happily as he bites Killer’s fingers. Eyes large as he stares innocently at Killer as if he surely did not just bite Killer.

Killer nods “Ah yes. I don’t know where these random bites keep coming from. there is a mystery afoot.” Dream giggles.

Nightmare is still asleep. Little guy had a rough night with his teeth aching and is clearly tired.

The priest walks over “It was an amazing idea to go into the forest! To feel the power of the magic more closely to something connected to its source!”

Ccino nods. It hadn’t even been his idea. Rogers had offered that it would maybe be nice to have a day out. to have a picnic. Ccino had just spoken about how the magic was obviously related to something in nature and that maybe bringing himself and the twins to a spot with more nature would appease the magic more into interacting more with everyone. From there on it was easy to get people to agree.

Even if Ccino could do without the four guards following them. At least one of them was Rogers.

They get into the cart and Ccino switches twins with Killer. Killer leans back and lets Nightmare doze against him as Ccino bounces Dream as they look out of the window together. he can’t help but sneak looks at Killer.

Killer is so unbelievable good with the twins. And Ccino finds himself thinking more and more about what Killer offered as idea ages ago. How the twins could just be from them.

It is… almost easy to see them like that. Neither of them look at all like Nim. Nothing about them suggests they are Nim’s aside from them feeling warmer to the touch. But that is easy to blame on Ccino still recovering from the whole pregnancy and even getting them.

It is easy to act as if they are Killer’s.

They get to the edge of the forest and leave the carriage.

The walk through the forest is lovely. The weather had been turning colder lately but it is nice. New plants are growing and instead of the almost dried out plants everywhere it is a much softer green and everything smells amazing.

Ccino discovered that he loved the smell of rain. It had been a treat and he had sat with both his twins by the window just enjoying the sound and smell. It was so unlike anything he had experienced in a long time.

They get to the meadow and two guards make them wait as they enter it first. To search or something. Suddenly Killer is up in his business and Ccino snorts “Yes?”

Killer grins as he checks on Nightmare who is still asleep “That is good.” Then a hand covers both Dream’s eyes, who gives a surprised noise and moments later his own vision goes dark.

Ccino laughs “Killer I know the surprise already.”

The sound of choking and a moment later his view returns to him. There is dust next to Rogers on the ground as he cleans his sword.

Ccino’s mind pauses.

Killer looks sheepish “We agreed you had dealt with enough… seeing it would make it worse.”

Ccino blinks confused but then Killer tugs him past the last line of trees and… Two more dust piles on the ground. A short cloaked figure stands in the middle of the meadow. A glance shows skeletal hands.

Ccino glances at Killer.

Killer grins “This. Is Dust. He is going to help us get the fuck away from here.” He takes the bag from his shoulders as Rogers hands him another one as he goes over to this Dust person to talk apparently.

Ccino looks at Rogers “Rogers?!”

Rogers smiles “We didn’t want to stress you out.” He looks at him “You and the twins needs to leave this place. It took us a while to get the timing right but this is the quickest option we had.”

Ccino goes to ask but then he remembers Robin and her goodbye “You all knew?” he is shocked. Why hadn’t they told him?

Rogers nods “We did.” He gives him a quick hug “And don’t worry about us. Which is why we didn’t tell you to begin with. We knew you would worry about us and want us to go too. This is the best chance at success Ccino. Please just trust us that we knew what we are doing. Okay?” and he waits for a moment.

Ccino frowns as he looks at his best friend “I can’t just leave you two…”

Rogers gives him a hard look “You can and you will. You and Killer will go. Killer told us this guy can get you places and Killer’s friend can make you documents. You will go and be free. We will find you later. I promise.”

Ccino feels tears threaten to fall as he hugs his friend “You swear?”

“On my soul. Now go.” He nudges Ccino before he grabs his own blade and start to mess up his armour. He calls Killer over and gets Killer to slice him across the back. Rogers sees him look questioning and Rogers grins “Gotta make it believable. We got it. Go.” and he nudges Ccino over.

Killer takes his hand and leads him back to the third skeleton. Who had just been standing there silently the whole time. Ccino feels the need to tug both his twins closer but remains strong.

The shorted guy, Dust, looks over “Ccino. Correct?”

He says it with a bit of an accent but it is close enough. Ccino nods.

Dust nods “We need to walk. There is a cart.” He pauses and glances at the two babybones “They okay with that? We need silence?”

Ccino huffs as he tugs his twins closer and checks on Dream in Killer’s arms “Of course they are. They are both very well behaved.” Which is when Dream coos happily and tugs on the leather of the other.

Ccino is worried for a moment before seeing Dust snort “Brave little guy.” Then he just turns and waves them over to follow him.

The short walk is not short at all but closer to half an hour. Ccino is starting to feel drained and it isn’t until long and Killer is carrying both his twins for him. They get to a small path and sees a very small cart. It is one normally used for some cargo over short distances. Dust opens it up and puts their bags in it before going to the front to manage the horse pulling it. Killer climbs in first and makes sure both the twins are comfortable before helping Ccino up and in as well. He grabs a blanket from inside the cart and wraps it around him.

“Sleep. I will be here. I promise.”

Ccino nods as he leans against Killer. Feeling the cart shake slightly as it starts to move and be pulled.

They walk for a moment in silence as Killer mutters softly “He didn’t tell me exactly which path we were going to take but he has done this a lot before so I have no doubt that this will work.” He grins “Apparently he is very skilled in smuggling.”

Dust speaks from the outside “I smuggle everything well.”

Killer grins before shooting him a look “You know… You can give them any names you want. They are still young and we will be leaving this country soon. They will get new documents and from then on it will just be us…” Killer looks nervous “As long as you will have me of course.”

Ccino smiles as he leans against him “As if I would ever want you to leave.” But he gets thinking about the names. He does like the names Nightmare and Dream. But maybe something else as well?

Killer and him had been joking about what they would name the twins if they weren’t just two males…

He really liked the names Dawn and Dusk.

---

A cup of coffee is placed in front of him and Geno is pulled from his thinking. He looks up at the barista and grins “Thanks Ccino.” He glances at the coffee and feels himself blush.

The latte art is done masterfully but it is clearly of a person in a cloak.

Ccino hums “It was no trouble. Though I do feel like I should tell you that Dust won’t be here today. He is still working.” He looks amused as he says this.

Geno mumbles and quickly takes a sip of his coffee. But any haste disappears as the amazing taste fills his mouth.

No one is sure how, Geno least of all, but Ccino makes the best coffee and deserts. And Geno knows it is without magic! He checked!

Geno discovered this café almost three years ago now. It had still been newly opened and Ccino had still been setting things up. The menu back then had been simple and Ccino had been nervous about getting the right things up for sale.

Geno had been planning on just getting a coffee to show support. It was glaring obvious that Ccino had been a refuge. New and still nervous and just trying to settle.

Only to discover the best fucking coffee in the world. And Geno can know as he has been many places thanks to Reaper.

Geno made it a point to visit weekly. Which turned to more as more treats and options became available.

Geno shrugs as answer and Ccino looks amused but doesn’t say anything else. That is a nice thing about Ccino. He doesn’t push and he doesn’t sell out information. Normally people who own cafes quickly start talking about how the royal mage drinks coffee at their places. Somekind of publicity stunt or something. Ccino didn’t do that. He just let Geno and his brothers be. It was nice.

Geno sips his coffee as Ccino walks back to the counter. Mid step he pauses and reached under a table. A delighted squeek is heard and Ccino pulls back holding a tiny adorable babybones. One of the two twins, Dream is seems. Ccino nuzzles the little face before walking back to the counter. Now a tiny child carried in his arm and on his hip.

Geno had wondered about it, obviously. He wondered who Ccino had gotten the twins with. What the whole story was.

He did some snooping. Near the start. He knows they are from Orchard. And he knows about the stories about royal twins and how those are the heirs to be the next king that ascends or something.

Which just makes Geno more confused on what Ccino’s role is for the twins. If the twins’s ‘mother’ died in childbirth and the ‘father’ was the last king. Where did Ccino come in?

Geno would think that Ccino would be the king’s mate’s secret lover but that doesn’t work out either. Mostly because of Killer. Killer is Ccino’s mate and lover. That is obvious by how they interact and how they nuzzle and greet each other. The way that Killer greets the two kiddos as his own kids. Yet on the documents it just says that Ccino is their parent and there isn’t a mention of Killer.

Geno had been curious…

Especially with how they had reacted to Reaper.

Reaper had wanted to see the spot that made Geno leave the castle and his study. Reaper had wanted to visit and enjoy a cup of coffee.

As soon as Ccino had seen Reaper and normal cheer disappeared. There had only been a mask of politeness. Careful and measured responses and efficient movement. The two kids, only babies back then, had stared at Reaper and started fussing and crying when Reaper got too close to them.

The way Killer had been watching. Ready to tackle Reaper at the first wrong side.

Reaper and Geno both didn’t need more than two minutes to realise that there was a traumatic response to the very sight of a monarch. Geno made sure to get their orders to go. Apologising that he couldn’t sit down and drink but that they had a schedule. Ccino made the to go orders and even let them keep the cups. Saying that he didn’t have any to go cups but that it was alright.

The next time Geno come in he was alone again. He brought the two cups back and couldn’t help but notice that there where now paper cups and tops. Just in case clearly.

It wasn’t until a few days later that he met Dust for the first time.

It was near closing and Dust had walked in. Mysterious and dressed in a cloak. He walked up to Ccino and Ccino had smiled at him? He had hugged him as if he was an old friend and thanked him for being willing to watch the twins.

Geno had wanted to ask him what the deal was with his magic but Ccino had a very strict no tolerance of intolerance policy. Meaning he will kick you out and ban you if you are an ass.

So all Geno could do was watch and make actual small talk.

And now he visits almost daily to try and get a glance.

Reaper says it is cute that Geno has a crush.

His brothers think it is hilarious.

The door rings as Killer walks in.

Dream cheers and waddles over to Killer.

Killer grins as he spins the little babybones around “Well if it sin’t mister Dream Dusk! How are you doing DD?”

Dream giggles and wiggles happily. Neither of the twins are big on talking but that is alright.

Killer nods “Ah yes. Big day I hear. Learning to count higher is a very hard skill to learn.” And he nods as he walks over to Ccino “Hey Ccino.”

Ccino smiles back “Hey there.” He takes Dream and nuzzles the head before smiling brightly at Killer.

Killer grins as he pulls out a very nice looking ring. He gets on one knee and holds it out “Marry me?”

Geno hears some other guests gasp. He gets it. He would be shocked too. If it weren’t for the fact that he has seen about five proposals so far. He asked Ccino about it and Ccino had sheepishly admitted that for some reason Killer has decided to try and marry him in every single culture that there is. Meaning that there have been a lot od proposals.

It is still rather sweet.

Ccino giggles and accepts the proposal. Dream cheers as Killer kisses the other. Killer get sbehind the counter and greets some guests who are still in line and easily carries the conversation as Ccino walks around with a mission. He gets to a cupboard and opens it to retreat a second tiny skeleton. The second part of the twin set.

Ccino sighs “What did I tell you about hiding in there Nighty?” Nighty, or Nightmare Dawn as his full name, grins and nuzzles close to Ccino. Looking up at the other with big watery sockets.

Ccino obviously melts as he nuzzles the tiny babybones “Lets get you and your brother back to your beds.”

Nightmare whines and looks unhappy at Ccino.

Ccino grins “Well I will have to. Otherwise you don’t have enough energy to greet your aunty Robin and uncle Rogers now do we?”

Nightmare immediately looks excited and nods “Okay Da.”

Ccino grins as he walks over to Killer and Dream. He picks Dream up as well and after checking with Killer he leaves to disappear through the back door. Dream and Nightmare both happily wave at everyone else but specifically Killer as they both say “Bye Pa!” “Bye-bye Papa!” and the door closes as Killer giving a loud ‘love you two!’ into their directions.

It is sweet.

They are surrounded by mysteries and something else that Geno can’t put his finger on. But he won’t push.

He will try to learn of course but well. For now there is amazing coffee and he isn’t in a hurry.

[meanbossart]

ASK COMPILATION: Boomer Drow, Scratch, Mouthwashing, Cats and musical opinions.

A more casual compilation this time as I desperately try to make some room in my inbox. I went back so far I found lore questions and art prompts that I really liked but had completely forgotten about... That's why it's a mess in there LOL I will hopefully get to those soon!

Hi! Thank you! I still dream about smoking almost every night and had a couple during the new year but I'm hanging in there :')

Very loose and mostly as a bit. It might be something that I explore more in the future, but as of right now their "canon" setting is far, far more interesting to me!

...That's brutal and highly accurate 😭

[MORE UNDER THE CUT]

I'm not gonna lie, when I started posting I got, uh, a lot of responses like this to my art. About how I drew people "ugly" and frightening and even though it MOSTLY was meant as a compliment, it got kinda... Overwhelming 😅 It definitely led me to do a 180 for a while and re-access how I wanted to draw people. I love drawing flaws but I think that comes from not really seeing them as flaws, so the amount of folks AGGRESSIVELY harping on it did eventually get to me a little bit.

I think I've since found a pretty good balance between simple, pretty and "flawed" that I enjoy, though. So, thank you! I do take your message as a compliment and I'm glad you enjoy him.

DU drow was my first run! I have since played with a different character called Izzantar who was my first non-urge campaign though.

...

...

... I didn't find scratch in the DU drow run. Sorry anon LOL

Now you see, this is the legacy I want to leave behind.

(thanks for making Astarion feel included)

I was the one who recommended it to him and I really liked it! I've always DREAMED of a game that actually and unapologetically put you in the shoes of a shitty person and took you through the complex reasons why they are the way that they are without justifying their actions. And I adore the way the secondary character undeniably had a hand in the tragedy that unfolded despite his good intentions. The game sincerely explored the types of flawed characters I rarely ever see explored and I can only give it my sincerest kudos to it.

I've been considering playing Origins on stream after MANY recommendations, actually!

I would suggest examining and referencing off athletes and gymnasts videos for practice while trying to garner a more in-depth understanding of musculature by crossreferencing that stuff with dry, medical anatomy diagrams. I have a few more in-depth examples and advice in my #tutorial and #advice tags!

DU drow would really like Frida. Jarboe would constantly disappoint him by being the very dumb animal that she is.

I think Astarion would like both of them but complain endlessly about how much attention they demand and how up in his business they'd want to be - I have a feeling he likes street cats, which none of my cats are (Frida has a little street-smarts remaining but has been thoroughly spoiled by now. Jarboe was a hoarder cat before I adopted her and is extremely sociable and un-cat-like because of it.)

I DM'd a single Call of Cthulhu session in my teens and only recently participated in my first ever DnD game in a discord event! That's about it.

This is for the over-attentive ANE readers but Brutus is a Dalyria song for me ☺️

He'd like Jazz A LOT.

But I think he'd be more of a root-punk/post-rock guy, not really into synth. And then a lot of the classics like Elvis, Nina Simone, Marley, etc.

Also Foetus and GG allin for whatever reason.

3 for Astarion, 5 for Shadowheart. Jaheira would never but she could get away with 8.

[kknotphobia]

GUYS OH MY GOODNESS HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Guess what they're yapping about (probably about how they wish they could see fireworks, or that my ass has been gone for how long again?)

ANYWAY WOW YEAH I TOOK A BREAK, BUT IM BACK AGAIN (and will try my very best to stay with yall as consistently as possible for 2025!!) I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU GUYS, THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT ON THIS BLOG!!! ANS ESPECIALLY MY MOOTS, I LOVE LOVE LOVE MY MOOTS! I have received many Asks, and I MUST reply to them all. BUT I get so many sweet messages/reblogs and shit man I love this side of tumblr. I never knew I could achieve what I did with this blog in 2024 AT ALL, but you guys made that all possible and I'm SO thankful for it. Ily guys again HAHAHA ENJOY THE GAYS

[solar-sunnyside-up]

Autumn and winter is a RUBBISH time for my love of solarpunk to be rekindled, because so much of what I can act on is guerrilla gardening. Alas, here I am, getting back to my solarpunk roots.

Do you have any suggestions for solarpunk activities we can work on in the cold months?

God I feel for this!!! Winter always feels like such a festering time to be in love with solarpunk. Not to mention how starved we are for winter content for solarpunk and lunarpunk in general. But yeah!! Here's some ideas to do in winter!!!

Out and about:

There are a lot more social clubs in your city then you'd expect! I know 2 different community associations in my city that have social clubs that go in adult field trips (like to farms and cafes ans boardgame places!!)! And have crafting clubs! And the best part is if their in your community, it's within a decent walk of you but it's almost always walkable!

Using a library!! For anything! Everything! In my provenance we got a saying "Use it or they

Graffiti- leaving kind messages or fun stickers all over the place isn't really a weather restricted activity for the most part. I know someone who made a Playlist filled with union songs and rebellion songs and put a code for it and links to how to unionize on stickers and did that.

Adopt a stop- more cities have these then you might think! But adopt a stop programs basically let you take care of a certain bus stop and this lets you add things (like good benches, shoveling and removing ice, asking the city to add heaters, etc..) you become the advocate for that bus stop. If your city doesn't have a program like it yet you can ask your city or community to start one since it saves a bunch of money on maitance costs!

At home:

Archiving and pirating - highly recommend doing it in a physical sense if you can afford it. Bc then you can give them out as gifts!

Create!! - Sewing, sewing for friends, knitting gloves/scarfs for ppl who might need it, make art to inspire others via writing or drawing or other mediums! Gift economies require gifts after all so make some!

Learn! - learning a new skill, like canning or how to install solarpanels. Researching in general, but also keeping up to date with local politics and what you can do on the ground there. Building up knowledge is such as useful even if it doesn't feel like your doing anything.

Connect! - Shoveling neighbors walkways, or in general connecting with the ppl in your immediate surroundings! They can help you out in ways you couldn't imagine, someone didn't bake often so they gave me 15lbs of flour!! And their extra pair of snow boots, I hadn't had snow boots since I was 12 years old and it meant the world to me. The pizza I taught her daughter to make and a cheap meal for them meant the world for them. These small acts really are what tie each other together.

Plan! - plan for next year, what kind of equipment can you gather? What do you wanna accomplish next growing season? Seed swaps are also a fun thing I know ppl will do in winter as they start preserving food!

[risingsuntarot]

1--2

3-4

General Messages & Advice !!

⚠️TW Quick mention of s*icidal ideation⚠️

I honestly had no set plan for this reading negl so I kinda just pulled out some cards to describe the collective energies and give them some advice sorry if this is long !! This took me quite a while so any love would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks for reading 💜

Excuse any typos :+//

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Pile ONE

---Cards pulled---

Ace of cups/Queen of Coins/2 of Coins

---Clarification---

9 of Coins/7 of Coins/8 of Wands

I see you're able to either barely able hold onto your emotions and new beginnings or you manage them quite well no inbetween

Youre extremely intelligent, patient yet fast and direct, dedicated and multifaceted it may have taken a lot to get to this point although

Im sensing a lot of emotional sensitivity yet you are perceived as stone when you feel like glass

"Petite, Cute, Princess, Marilyn monroe, Dainty" maybe youre described as such?

Strong sense of justice and very dependable, able to maintain balance

Maybe you feel lost inside? S*icidal ideation ? Or loneliness is a big factor

Possible lack of belief in change and self confidence

Im getting Hopeless romantic or dissatisfaction in love life if im being honest

No inspiration for life :'+(

Unstable Family background or relationships

Youre extremely pessimistic arent you? Im so sorry but i feel genuine pain hurt and the urge to cry almost? But something wont allow me to

Suppressed emotions or memories :+((

---ORACLE/ADVICE---

Eagle "see from a higher perspective"

Air Gaurdian "Shift your perception"

Lord "Take charge with authority"

High Priest "Intend ans Create"

There is a need for the sun and nature for playing a huge part in your healing, maybe its seasonal depression or simply anxiety or the "no inspiration for life" thats here

Bed rot could be a thing

There is a need to release old habits desires and ego

Confide in a masculine figure in your life or a masculine figure sees your distress (Gender doesn't matter its all energy)

Protection is needed and maybe a nice cleanse, maybe a cedar bath?

Again seasonal depression is coming up lol

You could be either a pieces or one of the Air signs

Take pride in your appearance, in the card she has long flowing black hair and stunning eyes!! Piercings too? Specifically a left nose piercing

Over thinking/pondering lol

Possible past friends or connections have ended badly?

Opportunities will only open up when you open your eyes and see that what you choose to see in the world if what youll perceive and experience

Lord of the rings/DND/Elden Ring/LARPing?

Rams could be significant or Aries sign!!

Learn a new instrument!! Make more art but with your own style ? Maybe youre in a art achool that doesnt allow for much individuality? But being a proud ab your individuality here is important!!

Birds are an important sign here, look out for feathers, hawks or eagles!!

If youre indigenous/Native/Aboriginal you may be receiving an Eagle Feather from an elder or during ceremony?! What an honor oml

Willie Jack from reservation dogs Vibes !!

---Channeled Songs---

LVL up - David strickland, Drezus, Aspects, prognosis

This came on during writing the eagle feather bit a lyric that caught my attention was

"Been a problem, Still a problem

But problems are what you need to grow"

Runaway - Lil peep

"Everybody act like they care, Why the fuck do everybody act like they care"

When I'm Gone - Eminem

"Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling

And I didn't feel a thing,

So, baby, don't feel no pain

Just smile back"

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PILE TWO

---Cards pulled---

The hermit/Knight of wands/8 of wands

---Clarification---

9 of cups/The Empress/Strength

Im getting like lost rebellion? And being unhealed and hurt inside from past trauma's specifically abandonment, neglect or betrayal from authority figures or those you had trusted

Feeling empty and misguided despite only trusting yourself, and no one seems to want to listen to your advice/experiences leading you to feel isolated and forgotten in a way?

Maybe you're a party animal, possible drinker and/or just popular/known in social settings

There is heavy overindulgence in emotionally fufilling things, specifically overspending and maybe other possible addictions (sleep, food, drugs etc)

Mother/Feminine figure is very important in your life

You look to them for approval of many things but they may have been not caring about your emotional needs or satisfaction rather they cared more about your hidden strengths and "beast inside" ?? Or even how "weak" they perceived you, they may have been disappointed at your strengths and abilities, n maybe they put you in some kind of martial arts or boxing despite your disinterest in it?

Quick to move on from situations!! Yet indecision and regret is coming through Strongly

Impatient with skills and talents that dont turm out they way you wanted so perfectionist type vibes

You are a clear communicator but tend to be rather impulsive with decisions or say one thing and do a completely different thing

Extreme harshness towards oneself and heavy judgement too :+(

Feeling exposed? Like all eyes are on you yet you dont want them

I feel a facade of confidence but there is true confidence coming through by the tiniest bit? yet it's heavily based on the feminine figures perspective in your life one with authority also your own perspective on yourself

Lots of self hatred and anger

Family oriented, getting protective yet detached energy tho

Cancer by my chemical romance came on so that song may be relevant?

---ORACLE/ADVICE---

Wise One "Grow within your current situation"

Mountains "Stand your ground"

Stargazer "Set your sights higher"

Direction guardian "Choose your path"

Owls maybe significant to you and other avians such as ravens

The wise one card depicts a woman with feathers in her gray hair, description of someone possibly?

Also a crescent moon is atop the owls head so maybe Athena or Greek mythology is important to you

I sense there was a lot of hardship in your life, ups and downs, peaks and valleys yet you choose to persevere and stay strong

I see you have may have been passed down a gift having to do with dreams, keep a journal and look into meanings of those dreams!! Also maybe astrology is something you love to look into or have an interest in ?

Although something is blocking this gift from its fullest potential i believe there is healing or a cycle to be closed off before youre allowed to fully tap into it !! It'll take time and work on your part

As of now you have many choices to make in many areas of life, youre heavily protected by your guides and loved ones, the direction guardian is depicted with a Seraphim as described by the hebrew prophet Ezekiel!!

Specifically in Ezekiel 28:11-19 is where the seraphim is described

You have choices, this card is to remind you that YOU have the power of your own path and direction

---Channeled Songs---

Cancer - MCR

"Baby I'm just soggy from the chemo

But counting down the days to go

It just ain't living

And I just hope you know

That if you say (if you say)

Good-bye today (good-bye today)

I'd ask you to be true (I'd ask you to be true)

'Cause the hardest part of this

Is leaving you"

No place to hide - Korn

"Some will look at the time I looked back into my life

You wanna touch me to see what's in my eyes

Why do you make me remember my hate, all this shame?

Don't you hate me? Sometimes"

I-E-A-I-A-I-O - SOAD

"Mine delusions acquainted,

Bubbles erotica,

Plutonium wedding rings,

Icicles stretching,

Bicycles, shoestrings,

One flag, flaggy but one,

Painting the paintings of the alive."

Although this seems like nonsense many fans believe its abbreviations or like code!! Soo...

M D E = Media and so on

The sentence comes together as:

"Media back-end power is bullshit, opposing force for the power of propaganda"

Stole this^^^ from genuis btw lmao

Theres the "lost rebel" part lol

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PILE THREE

---Cards pulled---

2 of swords/The Chariot/10 of Wands

---Clarification---

Ace of Swords/Knave of Coins/6 of wands

I feel more a message for this pile? And i do apologize but it is quite shorter than the rest but I will try my best to deliver both tho

You seem to be a very balanced person with clear morals and judgement, you have an ability to see all shades of gray in a black and white world maybe you work in the justice system? Or are dealing with the justice system ?And this stresses you out greatly yet you maintain hope for all that you see and deal with even if you see repeating injustices to those around you

Maybe PTSD is a factor here too, overthinking your own trauma or others

Anyways despite your position here you choose this pile for a reason !! You offer people truth and often give closure to cycles that needed to end

With the 2 of coins tho i think there is some imbalance between what you can and cannot do ? If that makes sense, like you can heal others or give them justice but cannot do the same for yourself :+(

Anyways the message i sense from this pile is pretty straight forward, you are giving someone (or yourself!!) the chance or closure to heal once more and whatever you may be waiting for is coming in quite quick although I feel there may be someone who may come in to sabotage the whole thing so be careful about who you choose to reveal this information to

They may offer a trade of some sort?

A deal, hush money or simply intimidation

Up your protection and be aware of fake friends yet still remain hopeful about the outcome because i see it turning out in your favor

---ORACLE/ADVICE---

Snake "Shed old skin"

Protection Guardian "Drop your Shields"

Winter "Take care of your needs"

High Priestess "Harness mystic power"

Again straightforward, beware of fake Friends and deals with strings attached my advice here is to up your protection and stand your ground!!

Drop your gaurd with those who you KNOW you can trust, you may need ro let out some stresses and emotions? Because the card winter is all about needs and hibernation so sleep well, eat and take some time to relax !!

Also might be an indication that whatever this situation is it may have happened in the winter/colder months

While in this time of self care and healing strengthen your knowledge and strengths learn how to master them !!

Your dreams and own special psychic gifts are important and potent !! Use them for yourself at this moment in time use that healing energy for yourself

Have confidence in yourself and know and own your protection because again you are heavily protected at this time you will most likely know who to stay away from very soon

Follow you intuition and what it tells you !!

---Channeled Songs---

The bird and the worm - The Used

[Whispered Post-Chorus] "Don't tell on me, don't tell on me. No, don't you tell on me, please. It's okay, don't tell on me, please..."

I find it interesting that its not the actual audible lyrics but if you listen to the song this is what the whispers are saying so...take it as it resonates

Spiders - SOAD

"Approaching guiding light

Our shallow years in fright

Dreams are made, winding through my head"

Bad dreams might be significant to you? Please try to relax good things are coming !!

Mama - MCR

"You should have raised a baby girl

I should've been a better son

If you could coddle the infection

They can amputate at once

You should've been

I could have been a better son"

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Pile Four

---Cards pulled---

5 of cups/4 of wands/Knave of coins

---Clarification---

8 of wands/6 of cups/Knave of wands

I believe there currently is dissatisfaction with your love life or offers within love at this moment or even just impatiently waiting for your current partner/interest to "make a move"

There isnt a lot of hope or faith in the connection on your part but i do see this person is interested they just operate differently and have some concerns

Mostly having to do with being used for their material gain, name position and/or authority

They do see this connection quite successful but they hate being put on a pedestal, due to this they wont have the guts to come forward if they do!! It will most likely be impulsive or very confusing and indirect which might leave both of yous flustered mainly them

This might be over drinks because my face is warming up lol

They see you as the four of wands and 6 of cups what a wonderful pair of cards together!!

But they see your disappointment and or pulling away from their energy which is turning them off easily but they still have their eyes on you

They have no time to be a chaser or to be chased this person is quite serious in their relationships so dont play childish games, play stupid games and win stupid prizes right?

They have come to a decision on their own but its also up to them when this information is revealed to you directly

Also there seems to be a sort of distrust with relationships on either sides which needs to be addressed before hand

Communication maybe be an issue

---ORACLE/ADVICE---

Medicine Guardian "Be open to healing information"

Elder "Healing through lineage"

Peacekeeper "Harmonious resolution is possible"

Lady "enjoy growth a reap rewards"

I feel like time is needes to open up tp yourself and heal some issues on your side first, become the best possible version you can before you can move on with this

I see that this connection may heal cycles in your family and generational trauma possibly?

Its your job to keep cool despite the circumstances now and remember to mediate and that peace is always an option. Not every battle is worth fighting

However this goes you will be happy with what you see in the mirroe nonetheless!! Enjoy your hardwork and healed state

---Channeled Songs---

Fed Up - Ghostmane

"I'm fed up with the fame

I'm sick of reading my name in any other way than I intended

Fed up with all of these motherfuckers misunderstandin' me

I'm fed up with the ones that try to say you a fan of me

But then they turn their back and mothafuckers abandon me

You think I'm sitting high with everything, but now can't you see?

I'm livin' in reality, a struggle, not fantasy

I'm in a million-dollar couch, back then I was in a van"

No you girls - Franz Ferdinand

"Sometimes I say stupid things

But I think, well, I mean I

Sometimes I think the stupidest things

Because I never wonder

Oh, how the girl feels

Oh, how the girl feels"

Driven Under - Seether

"Must be something on your mind

Something lost for me to find

Do you know I'm faking?"

I feel this is more the distrust with their previous relationship possibly?

Also this lyric

"We have to succumb to the feelings we can never face

I need you, I breathe you

I can't go through this all again

We have to succumb to the feelings we can never face

I need you, I breathe you

I can't go through this"

Also pile 3 may have some messages?? I accidentally typed pile three for this one? :+//

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[thegoodduckfan]

What are actually your thoughts on DuckTales 2017 reboot?

It took me a long time to answer because I had to think about it for a while.

I think DT17 is a fine kids show, but it lacks a lot of maturity depth in its themes ans story in addition to missing the point of nearly every character it adapts.

To me, show's problems begin with the main cast. In the comics you had pretty much only 3 main characters: Donald Scrooge and HDL (which in the comics are considered one character). This makes sense for the comics, it makes the cast simple, recognizable and fleshed out while giving time to side characters. Now, DT17 decided to split the triplets to make the cast wider for the TV setting, but while they did that they also added a lot of other characters, and this quickly got out of hand.

DT17 has 8 main characters: Scrooge, Donald, Huey, Dewey, Louie, Webby, Mrs. Beackly and Luanchpad. And 9 after Della comes back. This doesn't allow all the main cast to shine like Donald who was extremely neglected.

The worst part about this cast change is that they changed the focus from Scrooge and Donald. And no matter how much they try these kids aren't nearly as interesting as Donald and Scrooge in the comics. Due to this change stories deal with kids' conflicts like sleepovers or the Funzo's episodes. Makes the show feel a lot more childish.

I find stories about Scrooge going to find treasure simply to get richer or Donald trying and failing at his new job(s) much more compelling than what DT17 has to offer.

Scrooge and his adventures actually take a really big hit in this show. DT17 feels afraid of making Scrooge morally dubious. He's barely greedy or stingy in the show and there's not really any focus on his money. We don't see Scrooge being stingy moments like the crashout over the kids finding out about Della isn't very believable because I don't see why the kids would think Scrooge wouldn't spend money trying to save her.

Btw, in that whole story Scrooge did nothing wrong! Yes, he built Della a spaceship but as we see later, the rocket itself was perfectly safe and functional, Della only crashed because she flew it without preparations and during a cosmic storm! And after she did Scrooge nearly went bankrupt trying to save her. He genuinely did nothing wrong, and that's a shame! Because I want him to be in the wrong! The best part of Scrooge's crashout with his family in The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck is that it was completely his fault for being a despicable asshole. After that, the writers tried to lift responsibility from their main characters even more by making it so Bradford told Della about the spear of Seline and imo it doesn't really matter because Della was an adult woman who should be able to take control over her actions (especially while having 3 kids on the way).

As I'm writing this I realize I can't put all my thoughts on this series into one message so I'll write one final point. The main theme of the shoe, the importance of family is stupid.

Not only is it cliché and honestly pretty childish it doesn't really mean anything in the show. As far as I remember the show doesn't really explain why family is important. It doesn't go far family is good and maybe that loneliness is not fun, and that's incredibly basic! Not to mention that by the end of the show the term family loses all of its meaning because Scrooge considers everyone his family, the rodents his great nephew saw once, his coworkers and so many more. It just devalues family and makes it pointless. But at the same time it also overvalues it because nobody is allowed to have any individuallity outside of the family and do their own thing, and once they do their own thing the family also claims it. Personally I find it a pretty toxic approach.

Overall, DuckTales 2017 is an okay show, but it makes incredibly nuanced characters very flat and childish and unlike what they used to be while lacking any depth to its own themes. I think it can be fun on a first viewing but once I start thinking about what I saw it all falls apart.

I might continue adding to the post later, but I'm tired rn.

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Loving words from your person"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to find a message meant to reach you at this time. The message may come from your future spouse/destined person/long time partner or even closest friend for some of you (you may still have to meet them).

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3

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pile 1

Things are getting rocky at the moment, right? Yeah I know it. Try to not let this excessive amount of emotions sweep you away. Try to ground, try to stay present and in you. It's hard work indeed, ofc, I'm not saying it's easy but... please, even if it feels so difficult ans scary, do not give up. Do not let all this take the best of you. Stay in touch, stay in control... touch the ground and the grass, stay present, keep yourself rooted physically. A good news is coming in soon, maybe a new endeavour you know, just do not let this stress you even more than you are. Right now you need to find your inner focus, your center, and to meditate. Until we meet, until I will be able to help you, take good care of you. Or let someone else help you.

[romantic partner for many of you but not everyone; very big on physical affection/hugs in particular -gives very good safe hugs-; good big heart; you may be feeling lonely/feeling down/needing a bit more of love or affection these days or you will need: they'll offer you loads of that with a bright smile; sweet young kinda feminine/nurturing energy; the "excessive amount of emotion" mentioned in the reading may relate to something you're healing atm: I just heard "keep healing patiently"]

song: stay ready (what a life) | jhené aiko, kendrick lamar

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pile 2

HEllo hello my sweetheart! Things are changing as times and leaves, and so your emotions need to adapt to all this. We totally need to stop letting them block us and be more real, shouldn't we? It is indeed time to make a new start, to level up. So take it slow but leave this pain behind. Okay, okay, the choice is yours but you know... it's better to make mistakes and really live even for just one day than to just hide behind a wall and observe others having the time of their life and then feeling so unworthy of everything, right? Go out of the shell and try to feel as worthy as them. Try to be your real self (I know who you are inside, don't play with me, you cannot hide :)). Go slowly, go at your pace, but try. Little by little. One "hello" at time. I am waiting for you to try and say hi first. I am here waiting just for you, not going anywhere.

[romantic partner or friend, or both; funny positive accepting wise person: "it's okay to make mistakes, they're cute" when I wrote the first hello with the E and didn't want me to correct it "it's so me"; prolly clumsy but in a cute way; very pensive/thoughtful; may know many words/has a way with words or is a book lover/nerd; may wear glasses and touch them often; may sit weird; loves to write/journaling; thinks before speaking but writes on a whim and makes typos maybe also in messages to you -some are fun; you may laugh a lot together-; only for some: they may already "be in your life" as you may "see" them around often -eg. school, jobplace, subway, fav pub/place, park...- or they may be your crush/someone you find interesting, as in the song's mv]

song: you don't know my name | alicia keys

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pile 3

It's time to take a pause and wait. Things not always go as we plan them or as we'd like them to, but it's not always that bad. It's often a matter of realigning, of realizing that maybe something wasn't supposed for us, and it's better this way. It's maybe a matter of taking a break, grieving our desire in the way we planned it to be, and then go back on track and working for a new different way to get it. It's often a matter of having to wait a little longer, of having to be a little more experienced and prepared. Maybe it's the same for us, don't you think? Maybe we thought we had met but it wasn't us. Maybe we're just meant to work on ourself first a little more, on our feelings and how we see them and perceive them, on our strenghts and self confidence, before we can really shine and meet. Before we can really be able to be seen by the right people: me by you and you by me. And trust me, it's gonna happen. We'll make it happen.

[older or wiser romantic partner or friend; feels like has had many life's experiences; very grounded; masculine energy for the most; very concrete and has an intriguing mind; may have lot of air in their chart or be Mercury dominant, still has a lot of control on their thoughts and is very determined; may inspire you and guide you through a lot and help you grow or heal; will probably need you to help them let go a bit of control cause maybe sometimes -at least for some- they may tend to be a bit more serious and go deep within and get lost in their mind; may show a bright smile on the outside but may feel hurt inside, give them time or talk with them, help them feel safe in communicating their real thoughts if you can: they just don't want to cause pain to others but forget that generally people feels good when being of help to a lover/friend and not burdened; you may share some traits or have mirror energy]

song: island in the sun | weezer

[ominousgradient]

out of curiosity, how WOULD you rewrite snotlout's angels?

1. Since it's very much framed as a "Snotlout learns to respect women" episode, have him actually learn to respect women! He doesn’t so much learn anything as he's just running from place to place in fear of his life and then he apologizes at the end because he doesn’t want to get the shit kicked out of him again, not because he understood the issues with his behavior

2. I think the ideal version of this ep would be smth more along the likes of the ALTA episode "The Warriors of Kyoshi", Snotlout underestimates and offends the Wingmaidens based of some assumption he has about women, he realizes that his treatment of women has now caused him trouble twice in a row and he awkwardly asks if he can stay if he promises to help out and not be a dickhead since it's in his own best interests to get along better with women and he also has no idea how far the way back home would be, have them still be hostile towards him at first and then warm up to him a little as they see that he's making an earnest effort and seems to be getting along fine with the dragons, maybe he could learn a cool new fighting technique from them, then when the riders show up let them AND Snotlout help with some issue they have on the Island where Snotlout puts some of the things he picked up from working with the Wingmaidens to good use, showing them that men can be tolerated on their Island after all

3. The way the episode ends reads to me as a classic "not all men" statement, that there are some guys that just don’t respect women BUT most of them aren't like that so it's fine actually, whereas the message of "it's in your own best interest as a guy to be normal around women, by being weird towards them you're not just putting them off but you're making your own life actively harder for no reason so if you notice that you have some sexist attitudes actively working on yourself is worth it, you might even learn something new along the way"

4. Have Snotlout be more sexist towards the Wingmaidens (i could write a whole dissertation on the way Snotlout's behavior towards women is internally inconsistent and why i don’t really think of him as sexist but i digress) he's mostly just a shitty guest, only the comment he makes about Astrid and Ruffnut is really gendered. In isolation you could say that he is being a bad guest because his hosts are women but we know that not to be true, he's consistently inconsiderate and unaware of the way he comes across regardless of the other persons gender

5. Don't do the bit where none of the riders want to rescue Snotlout, they can be annoyed and make jokes at his expense but them just completely not giving a shit when their supposed friend is in mortal danger just wasn’t cool :(

6. Keep in the bit with Hookfang insisting that they keep flying tho, we don't get enough caring Hookfang and that was really cute :)

7. Again, since this episode is so focused on gender, have the intial conflict between Snotlout ans Astrid be more gender related, maybe reveal that he called her hysterical or smth

8. Don't call the Wingmaidens "natives", they’re litteraly not, they're made up of women who joined the tribe as adults and it's pretty yikesy that that term is exclusively used for a group that features non white characters that are implied to be cannibals

9. On that note CONFRIM THAT THEY'RE NOT ACTUALLY CANNIBALS, it's obviously implied that they aren't and they’re just fucking with Snotlout but it’s never said explicitly (Atali doesn’t mention it and Snotlout tells Astrid and presumably the others about almost getting cannibalized, it’s just not brought up again after he gets freed, which, you know, maybe that's smth you might have some questions about) so the fact that the Riders just end up becoming allies with the Wingmaidens when they would have every reason to think that they were going to eat one of them is really funny

10. When they return to the Island for "Ruff Transition" don’t have Snotlout act entitled around the Wingmaidens, it’s not like he was like that during "Chain of Command" so it just feels weird to have him arbitrarily regress in his character development for a joke, he doesn’t have to be super cool with them just let him do whatever

Actually since they never confirm that they weren’t going to cannibalize him in the first place, having Snotlout just be kinda awkward around them on the Riders return and when he asks directly whether they were going to to make him into a tastly little stew they just never give him a straight awnser because they enjoy fucking with him too much would be a hilarous bit they should have gone with that instead

[bangtanpurplearchive]

December 2024 방탄소년단

Jin's birthday!!!! (sadly due to fatal air crash and a national week of mourning Tae's birthday posts have been postponed)

Jin has continued with Run Jin ans has gone ahead with his plot to abscond with JHope the day after discharge!!!!

Jin has also been on a variety of shows and JHope has also started to as well!

There have been a lot of awards with Right Place, Wrong Person receiving a lot of international acclaim.

Jin has continued with his comeback activities

We have also had a few lives including a lovely record breaking one by JK and a beautiful 2Seok one.

Jin has had a beautiful series of pictorials in DICON

We are now into the BTS comeback year and with just 5 months left excitement is building!!!!

I would like to say thank you to everyone who has taken the time to help support me and the site. Thank you to the people who were able to contribute to help keep the site running. I was able to pay for half the website and drive subscriptions from the donations so a massive thank you!!!!!!

If you are able to please do consider helping to keep the site running

BTS year has started!!!!!!!!!

Happy new year everyone.

[ans-arcade]

Rare Pair Scramble 2024

ANS Rare Pair Scramble 2024 will run from July 28th to August 31st. So, here's a brand new event idea, that we thought would be fun! So, the Rare Pair Scramble, you must sign up for like people do for Bingo events. And when you sign up, you list five of your favorite rare pairs or ones you'd love to create stuff for, and you will get a board of seven spaces, five of which are your rare pairs and the other two are free spaces for other rare pairs you would like to create for or even create for some of those same pairings already on your board. Each spot on the board with a rare pair also has a one word prompt. An example of this could be ObiKiki with the prompt flowers, if that helps to explain it. So, you create something based off of that prompt combined with that rare pair. Everyone's board will have prompts with different rare pairs and in different orders.

The two free spaces also have prompts, but do not have specific rare pairs on it, so they instead are open for whichever rare pairs you'd like to create something with that prompt. Maybe that prompt reminds you of a rare pair you always wanted to make something for or perhaps it reminds you of one of your rare pairs that you listed.

If you do not want to list five rare pairs when you sign up, we will give you five rare pairs that are fairly popular. (If you want obscure rare pairs, you could request that too.)

You could choose to fill all of your board or only part of your board, however inspiration works and however you would like to do so.

So, sign ups begin as soon as this post is published (June 30th), so send account asks whenever you'd like after. Please no anonymous asks, because then we won't be able to give you a board. If you're on Discord, you could message one of us admins there, and we can give you a board there as well. And we will get you your board as soon as we can, which will be as soon as we have your board made. (There is over a month to create content for this event after you receive your board, and late fills are okay too.)

An example of what a board looks like is down below. Of course, your pairings and prompts will be different than the example.

[beifong-brainrot]

Hello! It may not sound interesting but… 1.Bolin and Mako switch personalities 2.Swap: Suyin and Lin with Mako and Bolin Happy New Year!

Happy belated new year! Sorry for not getting back to you earlier, I lost this message in my inbox which tends to get a bit cluttered.

1. Personality Swap

Well, that's a very interesting idea. Seeing a more bubbly and cheerful Mako would be funny, if anything.

Though I will note that the brothers aren't really as dissimilar as they may seem. Mako seems serious and tense all the time, but he's actually such a dork, and has a clear love of humour and showmanship, something we asscociate with Bolin. I mean, look at the man's pun list.

[HE TRIES THEM OUT IN THE MIRROR I'M CRYING]

Bolin seems carefree and all fun and games, but I think we forget that he is very protective and caring of those around him, even if he isn't fully equipped to extend said protection and care. Let's not forget that it wasn't stupidity that made Bolin work with the triads and get caught by Amon, but a desperation for money that otherwise Mako would have to earn himself.

Mako and Bolin have both show themselves more than willing to essentially throw their lives away for others (reminder that Bolin did not know he could lavabend, he really just yeeted himself into oncoming lava just out of sheer desperation to save his brother and friends). They both struggle to make friends in a genuine way, yet simply desire acceptance and affection from others, something the didn't receive in their childhoods from anyone but themselves.

It just so happens that their respective 'roles' in their dynamic highlights certain aspects of their personalities.

But if Bolin and Mako were to swap personalities, they'd probably be more similar in dynamic to Sokka and Katara. - though I've already made a comparison post between these two pairs of siblings.

2. Swapping with Suyin and Lin

I'm not sure, exactly what type of 'swap' you mean, but I tried to do my best to 'swap' them in a plausible way, focusing on their life paths and relationships to each other.

An alternate universe where Suyin and Lin have a relationship similar to Mako and Bolin's wouldn't be improbable, as a lot of the fandom already chooses to believe that Lin acted in a parental manner to Suyin in canon, despite their relationship being more of a rivalry. But a world where Lin actually did play a parental role towards Suyin and genuinely did her best to care for Su would probably lead them to having a closer relationship, and perhaps prevent Su from trying to find affection elswere, and keep her from engaing in crime. This would keep Suyin in Republic City, changing her life drastically.

Lin would probably still go on to be a cop, but probably have a healthier relationship with her family and Su. While Su could end up doing any number of things, but if we're keeping in line with 'swapping' her with Lin, she could end up as a probender, which does kinda suit her, or some manner of performer. Seeing her and Lin actually genuinely friendly from the begining would be interesting to say the least.

Bolin and Mako having a relationship like the Beifong sisters, however, would be fascinating to see. To see the brothers fall apart, despite the codepence they have formed, would take a huge falling out. They could have a rivalry, similarly to Suyin ans Lin, though theirs may be encouraged by the Triad members. Having the triads pit the brothers against each other for things like food and necessities would probably facilitate a more strained relationship, more similar to the one canon Lin amd Su have.

This could lead to Mako and Bolin eventually getting into some sort of confrontation, which, if we want to follow the 'swap' to a tea, would result in Mako getting scarred and Bolin leaving Republic City. Startled by what the life of crime had led him to, Mako could join the police force and step onto the straight and narrow. While Bolin, like Su in canon, would end up travelling the Earth Kingdom and trying to find his place. I can't see him setting up a city like Zaofu, assuming that he's still the same age as he was in tlok, but he would certainly be a more well travelled person and would probably grow quickly from the person he was in Republic City.

Seeing an estranged version of Mako and Bolin would be fascinating, since they're so intertwined in canon. I also fully support Mako going petty toddler mode like Lin did in canon when she wa sin Zaofu.

[meanbossart]

Ask Compilation: Advice, influences and Misc.

Apologies for taking so long on some of these, admittedly I'm much more likely to entirely forget about asks that are about me and my interests 💃 Thank you for all the questions regardless! And thank you specially to everyone who just drops nice messages into my inbox out of kindness.

I'm brazillian and a native portuguese speaker!

I'll probably return to twitter eventually, but a) I hate that place and b) It didn't make much sense to me to turn it into a BG3 account out of the blue. I am considering making an Instagram or a new twitter just to have more places where people can follow in case they don't care for tumblr, but it's just been a very busy year so far and so that's kind of low on the list of priorities. If I ever do that I'll be sure to announce it here. Have a nice day yourself!

Sorry to hear that! I've gotten a few messages before about this issue, and the problem is that since I am myself not from the US, my options are also limited :( a lot of patreon alternatives don't work for me because they either don't go through paypal, take insane currency conversion fees, or just straight up block me from signing up.

Speak for yourself, I just assume everyone I speak to online has committed some sort of atrocious crime until proven otherwise. Except for me - of course. I have never done anything bad in my life.

I still have a lot to learn! But I will basically use whatever works for me at the moment, as well as make a sincere effort to learn about musculature and anatomy so I can understand those components and how they move, instead of only knowing what they look like when still - that's how you get better at drawing from memory. Volume mostly comes from coloring and understanding light, which is it's own beast but can very much be learned from similar reference materials and observing it IRL!

My favorite places to get reference are medical diagrams, weird pictures I take of myself, 3D software (often Virt-a-mate) and questionably phrased image google searches.

My favorite artists are Jason Shawn Alexander and Sean Murphy, but I'm not sure how much of it reflects in my art nowadays! I generally seek to pick up techniques from artists rather than to emulate style.

Honestly I love that you guys generally do the thing he would hate the most: take him very non-seriously LOL

I've been in a real Chelsea Wolfe and Amyl And The Sniffers kick lately! But usually you'll also find me listening to stuff like Boy Harsher, Swans, FWF, JK Flesh Lingua Ignota, Nick Cave, David Bowie, and so on. Music for the weird gays, basically.

I went insane and wrote a 23-chapter-long-and-still-ongoing fic in like four months. But also - I'm not that good, I'm just shamelessly pretentious LOL

Hm. That's a good question, but I'm not really sure. Sincerely not trying to be a edgier-than-thou here (in fact, this has made me a little self conscious at one time or another) but a lot of art that I don't mean to be horror-y in nature at all has been associated with the genre. So perhaps I don't know what I'm doing either, LOL.

I think just leaning on making things look slightly "wrong" or "ugly" on purpose is the way, but I also find that if you just seek to depict people as they are instead of idealized versions of themselves, you will arrive at that either way.

Thank you for reading! Honestly, I'm guilty of having not read much at all since I was in my late teens, and the style I'm employing for ANE is very different from the things I would call "influential" for me, or even that I used to enjoy reading at all before. I read a lot of Chuck Palahniuk as a youth (and, no slight to people who do like him still, but nowadays I'm not sure why I ever did. His stories don't speak to me at all anymore) as well a lot of weird experimental lit that I didn't even care to remember the name of. My last book stint from one or two years ago was composed solely of historical and medical literature, and last year I got really into Cormac Mcarthy thanks to the internet.

So, all in all, I'm absolutely all over the place LOL if you put a gun to my head and told me to list my favorite books, I'd say The Indifferent Stars Above and Blood Meridian.

(Consider the reading portion of the question to have been answered above) I really really liked Beau is Afraid and think it's a really great "horror" movie. Sue me.

[buzzzlove]

Nicholas

I missed you

Keeping a secret from your boyfriend has never been easy. You would think now that he was in a different country, you would have it somewhat easier, but no.

He has been promoting in South Korea for their new comeback and it has been a tough few weeks to be honest. He thought he would be used to it by now but he has actually been finding it more difficult. He has been away from home for much longer, but having you waiting for him this time has made his heart hurt a bit more every night. The two of you video call every day and sometimes even multiple times a day. That's how you also picked up that he was struggling. You see, your boyfriend was never one to completely share how he was feeling so the fact that he was being so clingy, even though you didn't mind, showed you something was wrong. So you ended up messaging Euijoo and arranging to meet with them all in Korea.

"I'm so glad you are coming. Nicholas has been so difficult to deal with the last few weeks," Euijoo breathed out after the plans were settled.

"I noticed. He has been a bit off since you left actually," you said down the phone.

"He's not talking much, but I think he really needs you here."

You felt your heart melt slightly at his words. You already knew you would be struggling to hide this from him.

Time flew and suddenly you were headed to the airport to catch your flight to Seoul. You've been quieter than normal today and not messaging Nicholas as much as usual. You usually respond to him instantly, but suddenly you were taking half an hour or longer to reply. He didn't want to seem pushy so he had been letting it slide, but you knew he was noticing it. So when you suddenly felt a call come through on your phone, you knew why.

Quickly answering, you said: "Hey baby! I was just about to message you." You tried muffling the noise by covering the phone with your hand but you doubted it helped much.

"Hello? Where are you? It's very loud," you could almost hear the confusion in his voice.

"I just came to the mall. It's very busy today," you laughed out quickly, hoping he believed you.

"Really? That's weird..." he trails off.

"Can I call you when I'm home again? I can barely hear you," you huffed out as you dragged your suitcase behind you.

"Yeah, that's fine," his voice was quite the opposite from his words though. There was an immediate drop in his tone and you heard the exhausted sigh leave his mouth.

Your heart clenched as you managed to say, "I can't wait to see your face my love. Call you in a bit, okay?"

"Me too. Love you," he mumbled.

As soon as you ended the call, you heard the announcement for your flight to board. Excitement took over your face and you half-ran over to your gate.

~~

"Hi Euijoo! I'm outside of the hotel. Can I go up to his room?"

"Y/N-ah! I'm happy to hear you're safe. Yes, he actually went to take a nap a few minutes ago so he should be there. He's been checking his phone the whole day. I think he knows something is up."

"He called me earlier so he must be upset. Did he say anything?" you said as you looked up at the hotel building.

"He didn't say anything but everyone could see something was wrong."

You quickly stuffed your phone into your pocket after saying bye to Euijoo, and made your way into the hotel. He already told you how to get to your boyfriend’s room so you made it there in record time. You breathed out once to settle your nerves before knocking softly three times

Nicholas heard a knock on his door just as he felt himself drift off to sleep. Irritated he yelled out, "Who is it?"

When no answer came, he felt his emotions build even more.

"Who is it?!" he tried again.

It pushed him over the edge when he was met with silence again. He threw the blanket off of him angrily and approached the door with heavy steps.

"I asked 'who is it' so many times! Why didn't anyone ans-" he cut his own sentence off when he opened the door to see you.

"Hi baby. I missed you so mu-"

Nicholas proceeded to cut you off as well as he pulled you into his arms and tightly against his chest.

Giggling, you mumbled against him, "I guess you missed me too, huh"

This time you didn't get an answer. A verbal one at least. You started feeling Nicholas shake against you as he cried into your shoulder, finally letting out his emotions.

"Baby? Hey, what's wrong?" you whispered as you rubbed your hands up and down his back, trying to calm him down.

"I just didn't realise how much I needed you with me until now," he sniffed, "I missed you so much."

Pulling away just enough to see his face, you smiled lightly at him. You used your thumbs to wipe the tears from his eyes as you said, "I'm sorry I was so quiet today. I wanted to keep this a surprise."

"Well you succeeded in keeping it a surprise just as much as you freaked me out," he let out a watery giggle, "but I'm so glad you are here."

"I'm here for the next three weeks though so remember saying that when you start getting tired of me."

He finally let out a real giggle as he looked into your eyes. He placed a short and soft kiss on your lips before pulling you against him again.

"Thank you for coming. I love you," he breathed out against your neck.

"I love you too Nicho."

[eschergirls]

It's been 2 weeks and it's almost Halloween so it's time to announce the winners of the spooky October caption contest!

We had a lot of submissions and they were all really good, so like last month, I'll pick 3 winners (in order) and 3 honorable mentions.

Each winner will get to choose a prize if they wish (but you don't have to, you can just participate for fun too.)  The prizes are extra Steam codes that I've acquired through bundles over the years and I figure that giving them out for contests would be fun.  If you won and want a prize, please contact me. Honorable mentions can get a prize if any of the winners decline (I will contact you if that happens).  

Anyway here are the entries, as usual, grouped by the platform they were submitted on:

Fedi/Mastodon:

Dollcomics: Even with insurance, a comic book heroines back surgery always cost an arm and a leg Ordinating Aether Show: Sex (as depicted in an abstinence-only textbook)

Disqus:

Demma10: "... But it's the pelvic thrust, that will make you go insane (and lose your hips or limbs). Let's, do, the (battle) time warp, again." P J Evans: "Die, cursed arm, DIE!"

Tumblr:

atomicmosaic: perspective so bad I can't even tell whose ass is supposed to be whose atomicniire: "thank god this flying body part is covering up my massive boner" auronlu: "Internal organs!" she thought, hacking and chopping in such a frenzy of despair that her vertebrae rattled like the overtaxed joints of a 1980a snake puzzle. "If I can't have any, why should they!?" elkian: Gloria hates it when the sound stage gets double-booked, but she is scheduled to rehearse 2 hours of opera practice and no amount of zombie gorefest is going to stop her, goddammit! fyrenwater: "No, I said PUMPKIN carving, not bumpkin carving!" glidingisindeedfaster: "I’LL BE THE FIRST ONE IN THE WORM POSE CONTEST AND YOU GUYS CAN’T STOP MEEEEE" harukami: The halftime show got weirder every year. karltface: But it was just as she had feared: despite adopting ever more ridiculous fighting styles, her skill was so great, there was no threat, no challenge, no pride in any fight. The genie had been right to laugh. milkawa-and-co: "Come on ! Killing 1200 zombies with the Butt Thrust Spell and the Golden Sexy Armor is the last succes I need to platinium this game !" silveraptor: “TV Tropes calls this the ‘Interplay of Sex and Violence’ I call this ‘what happens when a comic book artist mixes up their Work and “Taxes” folders’.” swanfink: "And it's the pelvic thruuust~ That really drives you insa-a-a-ane~!" thecomicsrack: Plasticine Lass v The Evil Dead thevikingfish-nimhrodell: "Ohhhhh, I'm in the fight,  my hips don't lie, I'm stabbin' to kill this guy.  Put him in traction, after i hack him. Mauling zombies, yes, this is perfection!" vis-a-vi: "Please turn your attention to the figure on the left wielding a club. Note that he has no nipple on his left side. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk." zombiemollusk: me and the boys havin a wild gore-gy

The honorable mentions go to: Dollcomics, @fyrenwater, and @zombiemollusk

The runner-ups are:

In third place: @thevikingfish-nimhrodell

In second place: @harukami

And the winner is... Ordinating Aether Show: Sex (as depicted in an abstinence-only textbook)

Congrats to the winners and thank you and a Happy Early Halloween to everybody who submitted a caption!  The captions were also really good this month too!

Please stay tuned for a new caption contest in November!

If you won and would like a Steam code as a prize, please message me with which prize you would like.  If you came in 2nd, message me with 2 choices in order of preference...  I'll give you your top choice that hadn't been taken by the other winners. (To clarify, every winner only gets 1 prize, but winners other than the one in first place should give me their list of games in order of preference so if one is taken, I'll give you the next on the list.  It makes it easier for me to hand out the prizes.)

If the winner or the runner ups don't claim a prize, then the honorable mentions get a prize if they want one.

The Steam codes I have available as prizes are for: Aragami, Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3, Hotel Giant 2, I Am Fish, Ittle Dew 2+, My Time At Portia, Riot: Civil Unrest, Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun, Survivalist, Trifox, Tunche, and Uncertain: Light At The End.

[lovetaroandtaemin]

Doing This Again!

Bang Chan x Reader

Word count: 3,081 This is part 2 to "Start of Something New?" Part 1 can be found here. Part 3 is here. This fic is not beta read. Feedback is appreciated!

This fic includes NSFW themes! Minors DNI!

Warnings: ANGST! Almost cheating, Mentions of previous sexual activity, alcohol consumption. If you think I missed any warnings let me know! Fic is under the cut.

The next morning, you and Chan went to your favorite café for breakfast. You were filled with dread, because you had no idea how the conversation that you two needed to have would go. Chan, on the other hand, could barely contain his excitement and had incredibly high hopes. It might have just been a café date, but this was his chance to show you that he could be better and love you the way you deserved. Both of you ordered your usual drinks and found a place to sit.

“Should we wait for our coffee before we start talking about what happened last night?” you asked, hoping that Chan couldn’t sense your worry.

“We probably should. If the conversation gets interrupted, we might not say what needs to be said.”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“Are you ok, (Y/N)? You seem nervous.”

“I’m ok, Channie. I always get a little worried when big conversations like this happen, but I know it needs to.”

“Whatever happens, I’m really happy that I got to see you yesterday, and that I got to hold you one more time. Even if I never get to again.”

His words made your heart melt. Before the events of the night before, you had thought that you were the only one missing your relationship with Chan. Now you knew with absolute certainty that he had missed you just as much. You really wanted to try again, but you weren’t sure that your heart could take it if the two of you split up again.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Are you ok?”

“Oh no, I wasn’t uncomfortable,” you quickly replied. “I was just thinking about some things.”

“What things?”

Before you could answer, the barista that had taken your order called your names. You walked in silence to get your drinks, both of you preparing yourselves for the conversation that couldn’t be put off any longer. Chan was the first to speak, asking you what specific things you wanted to address.

“Well, I’d really like to know what happened with Ryujin.”

“Nothing happened between me and her. She tried to come onto me, but I told her that I wasn’t interested. The messages saying ‘I love you’ were all sent by her, and she was the one that said that she knew I would rather be with her. But I told her immediately that it was bullshit and that the only person I wanted was you. I even went through my messages and found the conversation so I could show you that I never did anything with her.”

“Show me.”

He quickly agreed, opened his messaging app, and handed the phone to you. You read all of the messages, and everything that he said was true. You started to feel terrible for thinking that Chan would ever cheat on you. It was embarrassing to look back on how you acted when Ryujin had come to you and told you that Chan had been flirting with her. She had been one of your closest friends at the time, so you had no reason to doubt her. But Chan had never given you a reason to doubt him before that moment either.

“I’m sorry, Channie. I should have believed you.”

“Hey, don’t apologize. I know it’s hard to not believe your friend when something like that happens. I just needed you to know that I never would have done something like that to you. I loved you. I still love you.” The last part was said quietly, but you still heard it loud and clear. Truth be told, you still loved him too.

“I love you too, Channie. What did you wanna address today?”

“Well, I wanna know what you want us to be. I don’t think it needs to be said how much we’ve missed each other, but I need to know what you want going forward.”

“Well, what do you want going forward?”

“I’d really like you to answer that first. I know what I want, but I don’t want my answer to affect yours.”

“Ok. I want us to be together again, but I’m really worried about losing you for good this time. I don’t know if I could handle losing you again.”

Chan sighed and said “Then why don’t we keep things casual for now? I would love for us to go back to how things were, but I don’t want to make you worry about getting hurt again.”

“I think that’s a good starting point. No long-term commitment, no chances of getting hurt.”

“So, I guess that’s settled,” he said with a smile. God, you loved his smile. From the moment you met him his smile made you feel warm and happy.

“Would it be ok to talk about what happened last night?”

“I was hoping we could.”

“I don’t want you to think that sex is the only thing that I want. I want an emotional connection with you, not just a physical one.”

“I never thought that. I think that last night was just the result of a lot of emotions and repressed desires.”

“Probably.”

“Before we talk about anything else, I really just wanna say that I’m sorry. I know that I messed up. The guys have been helping me spend less time in the studio, and Minho has refused to let me go alone. I know that was one of the reasons you left. I promise you that this time I’ll be a better partner to you.”

“I also need to apologize. I wasn’t exactly the best either. I’ve been working through my jealousy problems and trust issues in therapy, and I understand that sometimes you have to prioritize your job. I promise you that I’ll treat you better.”

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence after that, finishing your coffees and processing what had been said. You knew you loved Chan, and you had hope that this time the two of you could make it work. Chan, however, was more hesitant this time. He was terrified of hurting you again, though you would have never known it because he didn’t stop smiling once the two of you agreed to start over. While he was nervous, he was also overjoyed that he could finally call you his again.

Once the two of you were back at the dorm, you knocked on Felix’s door and asked to talk to him. He opened the door and let you in immediately. You pulled him into a tight hug and said that you had news to share.

“What is it? Are you ok? Did something bad happen between you and Chan? Everyone heard you arguing in the kitchen during the movie last night.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say something bad happened between us.”

“What does that mean?” Felix asked, his voice now laced with concern.

“We decided to try again.”

Your best friend was silent for a few moments, and then said “(Y/N), are you really sure that’s a good idea? I remember how miserable you were towards the end of the relationship. I remember how much of a wreck you were after it ended.”

“Honestly, I think that it’s worth the risk. We agreed to keep it casual, and both of us are really trying to be better.”

“Are you sure that Chan is trying?”

“I can only hope that he is. Let me be optimistic just this once. Please?”

“Ok. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. Just know that if you need anything I’m here.”

“Thank you, Lixie.”

This time he was the one that hugged you. You appreciated his concern for you, but you really wanted to prove him wrong this time. Chan loved you, and you loved him. That had to be enough to make trying again worth it. It had to be enough for you to be able to change what had gone wrong the first time.

Your conversation with Felix had left you a little bit uneasy, so you quickly made your way to Chan’s room. He instantly noticed that something was wrong and asked if you were ok. You told him about what Felix had said and your own concerns that your relationship would go poorly again. His expression changed, and it seemed like he was hiding something. You gently pressed him to tell you what was wrong, and he admitted that he was also worried. “I’m terrified of hurting you again,” he said.

“I know the feeling. I’m worried that I won’t be able to move past my own issues this time,” you replied.

Chan knew that he couldn’t make these feelings go away for either of you. So, he didn’t try to tell you that everything would be ok. Instead, he gave you a tight hug and whispered, “The best thing we can do is try. And I promise you that I will try.” He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead as you relaxed into his hold.

Your quiet moment was interrupted by Changbin loudly knocking on Chan’s door, asking if he wanted to join him and Jisung for an impromptu studio session. He opened the door and politely declined, explaining that he wanted to spend some time with you. Changbin looked at you with poorly hidden shock as he processed what that meant. You gave him a small smile in return and said that you hoped the session went well. Chan said that he would come to the studio later and kissed your cheek as he closed his door.

Before going to the studio, Changbin sprinted to Felix’s room and knocked. When he opened the door, Changbin whispered something that Felix couldn’t quite make out. He asked Changbin to come in and repeat what he said. The second Felix’s door was shut Changbin said, “I think that (Y/N) and Chan are back together.”

“Oh, yeah they are,” Felix replied, “(Y/N) told me a little bit ago that they were gonna try again, but that they’re keeping it casual for now.”

“Chan turned down going to the studio to spend time with (Y/N). Does that sound casual to you?”

This time it was Felix’s turn to be surprised. Chan never turned down a studio session. Maybe this time he was really trying. Felix was still skeptical, but it gave him a small amount of hope to hear that. “Maybe he is doing things differently,” Felix mumbled, mostly to himself.

“I’m actually really happy that they’re back together,” Jisung interrupted. “Bin, are we still going?”

“Yeah, sorry. Just wanted to ask Felix what was going on since he knows (Y/N) better than I do.”

Jisung and Changbin quickly left for the studio, leaving Felix alone with his thoughts. He wondered if Chan had really turned down working for you and thought about what that meant. Maybe you were right. Maybe Chan had changed, and maybe that meant that this time your relationship would be better.

While Changbin had been with Felix trying to find out what happened, you and Chan had decided to watch a movie and cuddle in his bed. The movie was a little bit boring to you, but you didn’t say anything. You were just grateful to have this time together. His arms around you felt like home, and every time he laughed at the movie it was music to your ears. About halfway through the movie, you fell asleep. Once Chan noticed he kissed your head and held you until you woke up, thrilled to be back with the person he loved.

When you woke up an hour or so later, Chan drove you back to your apartment and thanked you for spending time with him and giving him another chance. You hugged him and thanked him for his patience during your earlier conversation. Then the two of you shared a sweet, loving kiss before parting ways. On his drive home, he thought about ways that he could really show you that he appreciated you giving him another chance.

One of the things that he did was schedule a date night with you about a month after you two got back together. The plan was to go to your favorite upscale restaurant. Then, the two of you would go back to the dorm for a bit of quality time before he went back to Australia for a few weeks to visit his family. At least, that’s what you thought was going to happen.

You were wearing Chan’s favorite dress. It was a red, floor-length evening gown with a plunging neckline and a high slit. He went crazy every time you wore it, and you loved having that effect on him. As for makeup, you went with something simple yet elegant, fitting for the restaurant you were going to. Your makeup was almost done when you got a text from him. It said “Going to the studio with the guys to do some last-minute tweaks on a new track. sorry, I promise I’ll be there as soon as I can. I love you.” The message made you wanna throw your phone across the room, but you decided to wait. You had hoped that you would hear from him again in a few minutes, telling you that he was finished or that he had changed his mind.

After 2 hours you had heard nothing, which you had to admit you expected. While your relationship with Chan felt basically perfect up to this point, deep down you knew that something like this would happen at some point. Since you didn’t want to spend the night being sad by yourself, you decided to call Felix. After a few rings, he picked up and said, “Hey, (Y/N)! Is everything ok?”

“Not really. Chan and I had a date planned for tonight, but he went to the studio instead. I called to ask if you wanted to go out or something, since he stood me up.”

“Yeah, of course. We could go to the new club that just opened up across town.”

“That sounds fun. I’ll meet you there?”

“Sounds great. Bye, (Y/N).”

“Bye, Lixie.” You hung up the phone and started to get ready again. The club you were going to was much less formal than the restaurant you had originally planned to go to tonight. So, you changed into a different dress that you knew would draw some attention. It was bright purple, with a short skirt and an obscene amount of glitter. You knew it wasn’t right, but you wanted someone to see you and at least tell you that you looked good. Once you were dressed, you quickly re-did your makeup to look a little bit flashier, then left to meet Felix.

When you got to the club, you immediately hugged Felix and thanked him for coming out with you. He apologized, saying that he was hoping that Chan would be different this time. He smiled and pulled you into the club. You were nervous about being there, but those nerves quickly faded as you heard your favorite song playing. The dance floor seemed so inviting, so you made your way there as Felix ordered his first drink of the night.

As you danced, you completely lost yourself in the music. That’s probably why you missed the multiple calls and texts from Chan. He felt terrible about losing track of time in the studio. A few minutes after you got to the club he tried to call you to apologize and to let you know that he would be on his way soon. When you didn’t answer, he texted Felix to see if you were ok.

At this point Felix was already incredibly drunk, so when he told Chan what happened he wasn’t exactly kind. He made sure that Chan knew how much standing you up had hurt you, and that he genuinely thought that Chan would treat you differently this time. Chan texted you one more time to apologize, and then he went back to the studio. He tried to get a little bit more work done to take his mind off of things, but the guilt eating away at him forbade it.

You didn’t see the texts from Chan right away either. You were too busy dancing with an extremely attractive guy that made you forget about your pain for a little while. He had told you that his name was Hongjoong, and that he was only in town for a few days. The realization that he didn’t live nearby filled you with a sudden confidence that frankly took you by surprise. After that you flirted with him shamelessly, reveling in the attention he gave you and the knowledge that you most likely wouldn’t see him again.

Hongjoong flashed you a smile and asked if you wanted to go back to his hotel room. For a brief moment you considered saying yes. Then you thought about how badly you had wanted to make things work with Chan, and the guilt started to settle in. You politely declined Hongjoong’s invitation and went to find Felix.

When you found him, he was sitting at the bar and flirting with the bartender. You quietly informed him that you were ready to leave and went outside for a little bit of fresh air before returning home. Felix joined you a few minutes later, saying that he was tired and also wanted to leave. He asked if you were ok, and you quickly nodded. It was obvious that you weren’t ok, but he knew that you would tell him what happened whenever you were ready.

You told him that you were ready to leave and hugged him. You offered to drive him home, but he told you that he would take a taxi. The two of you agreed to text each other when you were home and parted ways.

When you arrived home, you opened your phone to text Felix. Before you could, however, you saw the missed calls and texts from Chan. He hadn’t left a voicemail any of the times that he called, but his texts were all apologies for losing track of time. He swore to make it up to you when he returned home from Australia, and once again guilt started to destroy you. Had you really almost thrown away your entire relationship for a little bit of attention from a hot guy? The realization made you start sobbing as you processed what you almost did to Chan.

Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to hear what you guys think of this one. My next post will probably be chapter 5 of my Shotaro fic. Stay tuned! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

[axvoter]

Update on my Review VII (WA 2025): Stop Pedophiles! Save kiddies!

Perhaps the most entertaining review to write during this WA state electoral cycle was that of Stop Pedophiles! Save kiddies! [sic] and there is yet more to say about them. As with my first review, I will refer to them as SPPK for convenience.

First, I noted how utterly anonymous the SPPK’s candidates are, with most listed only by initial and last name. Some scouting around has enabled me to identify at least a couple of them. One appears to be Radomar Kobryn-Coletti, who in 2019 claimed to have no commitment to any political party even though he worked in a role churning out far-right memes for the Facebook page of Fraser Anning, one of our most bilious senators of recent years (in a crowded field!). Kobryn-Coletti is down in 11th, while up in 3rd is an A. Middleton: this is Andrew Middleton, who is active in far-right “freedom” circles.

Middleton appears to have not gone ahead with a projected independent candidature and joined the SPPK instead. He has an Andrew for WA Facebook page, which, among some extreme stuff including “vaccine injury” covid conspiracism, includes a link to an already-defunct Independents for WA page. You can still view it via the Wayback Machine: here’s one version promoting him in January; and an updated version promoting a bunch of people that appears to have gone offline mid-February after the deadline to nominate for the election passed. It seems he was going to co-ordinate far-right independents, including some now associated with Group M, and others who haven’t stood at all.

Neither Middleton nor Kobryn-Coletti suggest anything good will come from the SPPK—and the party’s how-to-vote cards (HTVs) confirm this. They have registered a bunch of HTVs with the WA Electoral Commission, most of them after I drafted my original review and queued it to post. The page with all HTVs is here; use the filter options to select “Legislative Council cards by party” and scroll down.

They’re very rough HTVs, some of the most basic and crude I have seen, and they coalesce around messages for tougher punishment of paedophiles and greater police funding. WA last year passed new legislation to toughen and extend police monitoring of known sex offenders in the community, but this evidently isn’t far enough for SPPK, who appear to oppose any sort of community release for people convicted of sex crimes against minors. They would mandate life sentences for murdering police officers, despite the fact that removing discretion from judges can lead to negative outcomes and undermines the independence of the judiciary. Some of the HTVs specify that the SPPK would fund a police task force to the tune of $5 million annually, plus another $1 million for victim support groups; they do not explain how they came to this total and what gaps or shortfalls they seek to address with it beyond “moar cops!”

Not all their HTVs are emotive “protect kiddies” calls to action. It seems they’re using HTVs as their one way of disseminating policy. You won’t be surprised to learn they’re transphobes who insist on a gender binary, for instance. Although they’re passionate about protecting “kiddies”, they don’t seem to be a fan of young adults and think of them as ungrateful layabouts: they want to compel all Western Australians aged 18–22 to either serve in the Army Reserve or the Department of Fire and Emergency Services so that they can “become Heroes not victims”. This is SPPK’s idea of a bushfire policy! Another HTV states a housing policy: scrapping stamp duty for anyone over 60, ostensibly so they can downsize and free up family homes in WA. I can’t see this having any unintended consequences or being exploited in the slightest! (hoo boy I can)

Predictably they hate “the Greenies” and “their mad energy policies”, they want to ban all wind farms, and they support continued mining and gas exploration. The best of their HTVs on this theme claims “Greenies and the Left hate the family 4WD”, which, look, guilty as charged: I loathe motonormativity (car brain), desire much greater modal choice, and endorse policies that deprioritise cars in favour of public and active transport for a whole host of reasons. Giant road beasts in urban areas are dangerous for pedestrians and cyclists, they cause much greater wear of road surfaces, and they barely even fit into parking spaces, so, yes, tax them into oblivion. Instead, the SPPK want to slash the state diesel tax and they seem to be afraid that not just catering to the whims of 4WD drivers will send us back to using goat carts.

Some HTVs, such as this one, have an odd emphasis on getting things done in the first 100 days after the election. This “first 100 days” malarkey (which from my understanding has been borrowed from US political discourse) seems to be growing in popularity in Australia and NZ as a way for parties to suggest they are serious and for new governments to show they have entered office purposefully and are Doin Thangs. What it often means in practice is rushed policy with inadequate expert oversight or community input.

My favourite, though? The fat cats HTV, which depicts a fat politician with two cat heads. It uses the Democrats’ old “keep the bastards honest” slogan and suggests SPPK will be “an angry dog in the game”. Personally, I’d rather cool heads in parliament, not angry dogs—or people who cynically drum up fear about crimes against children to advance a far-right agenda.

Edit, 7 March: see a second update here