#you have more lines to make a person look like themselves

[panicdeleter]

It's also kind of annoying because we know how to prevent assault. It's relatively simple. Give children autonomy. Let them say no, and let that be ok. Teach them about consent, don't make them hug relatives they don't want to, let them know that there are things it's not ok to do to other people. Give children bystander education. Give adults bystander education. For things that aren't SA, most of those crimes could be prevented by not being assholes to drug addicts on a societal level, and having robust welfare that's not impossible to get on and full of bullshit rules. Lots of people do crime out of desperation, for food, for drugs. For trafficking specifically, the solutions to that are twofold. Legalize prostitution, give immigrants the same labor protections everyone else gets. There's probably more nuance to the immigration thing, but the top 2 types of trafficking are just -prostitute takes themselves over state lines to do prostitution. this counts as trafficking yourself. -poor international person goes over seas for better life/higher pay/to do seasonal farm labor. Passport gets taken and/or major worker abuse occurs. Generally most rape is family members (for children) or date rape (for adults). Most abuse is people you love, who are supposed to love you. *related: As an adult person who looks like a woman at first glance without a car, the most prevalent form of harassment I've ever experienced from strangers, catcalling, happens at lunch break, by middle class guys who seem very normal. It happens all the time and really never escalates. It is pretty unsettling every time though.

i'm sorry the self-victimization of some women i see online is crazyyyyy, they're saying shit like "yeah being a woman is so crazy, if you go on a date you have to text his full name and picture to your friend, and also where you're meeting, and share your location throughout the date, and check in hourly" girl the only safety measure you need is meeting in a populated place. that man is NOT going to kidnap you from Popular Cafe on Well-Frequented Street in broad daylight at 2pm. i promise. do you go forest hiking as a first date or what the fuck.

[moutainrusing]

love letters

786 words, @pandalilymicrofics

“Barty, I swear on my dad’s dead corpse, if you carry on simping over my brother, I will stab this pencil through your eye,” Pandora threatened, emphatically raising the fist clenched around her pencil.

“But Evan—”

“Do not. Say his name. Anymore,” Pandora shook the pencil, and Barty sighed wistfully. Fed up with this, Pandora suggested, “Why don’t you write him a love letter?”

“A love letter?” Barty pulled a face. “Ew?”

“How is a love letter more disgusting to you than the way you wax poetic about Evan out loud, to me?” Pandora bared her teeth in frustration. “It’s expressing the exact same thing that you already do in paper format and sending it to the actual recipient, instead of his sibling. Because in case you’ve forgotten, I’m related to Evan, and I don’t want to hear what you think about his mouth!”

Barty rolled his eyes, as if what Pandora was saying made no sense at all. “If I write this… love letter… you must give me something in return. After all, friendship is a business transaction.”

Pandora rolled her eyes. Sometimes, Barty made no sense at all.

Tapping his chin thoughtfully, Barty finally decided, “I’ll write him love letters instead of gushing to you all the time if you buy me lunch everyday.”

“Deal,” Pandora shook his hand. She also poked her pencil into his palm while doing so. The jury would be forever out on whether or not that was purposeful.

- - -

Dear the love of my life (Pandora: “Why are you calling him the love of your life?” Barty: “‘Cause this is a love letter? You basically told me to do that?”)

I am in love with you. (Pandora: “That’s unnecessary. It was stated in the first line.” Barty: “Was it though? Do you think your brother’s smart enough to understand if I don’t clarify?” Pandora: “…You make a good point.”)

Love from the love of your life (Pandora: “You’ve written ‘love’ way too many times.” Barty: “It’s a love letter!”)

- - -

“Now slip it through his locker,” Pandora advised.

“Where’s his locker?”

She shrugged, “Dunno.”

“You don’t know where your brother’s locker is?” Barty asked incredulously.

Haughtily, Pandora sniffed, “Stop acting like it’s an expectation of sibling relationships to know everything about each other.”

“It kinda is—”

“I think that’s his locker,” Pandora interrupted, pointing to a locker graffitied with ‘EVANS’ in bright red capital letters. Again, she sniffed disdainfully, “He’s the type to graffiti his locker. And miss out the apostrophe in Evan’s. It’s probably Evan’s locker,” she nodded. “It’s been branded Evan’s at least. Without the apostrophe. ‘Cause he’s a degenerate vandal.”

Bary side-eyed her, “I’ll never understand sibling rivalry…” He slid the folded paper through the frame, before the two of them shoved each other past the crowd of students, positioning themselves behind a vending machine to watch Evan’s supposed locker for any action.

But instead of Evan, a person who Pandora recognised very well, with the green eyes she’d dream about and the red hair she’d see while gazing at the person’s back during class, walked up to the locker. Oh. Evans. Lily Evans.

Suddenly, vandalism seemed very cool. And the graffiti was actually grammatically correct, so Pandora could let it slide. Plus, red was an ingenious colour choice, Lily’s taste was exquisite, Pandora was mesmerised by the sheer talent of it, the way the letters were perfectly positioned to spell out the surname of the love of her life. When Lily stood in front of her locker, rivulets of her red hair cascaded beside the graffiti, creating a remarkable gradient, perfectly blending orange into red like the sunset over a beach in the hot, humid summer—

Barty nudged her, probably to say that the mission had been a failure, except Pandora wasn’t really concentrating, so she stumbled out from behind the vending machine, winding up in the middle of the corridor and hovering there aimlessly.

Having read the letter, Lily looked around curiously, and Pandora was just there, staring at her. Eventually, Lily’s eyes landed on Pandora like darts pinning a dartboard, rendering her frozen in place, just looking at each other for an extended period of time, seconds which had slowed to hours, too long, this was dumb, Pandora should move, what was she doing? Then Lily smiled at her, hands fiddling with the corner of the letter.

She made her way towards Pandora, and they were both standing in the middle of the corridor, and Pandora’s heart was a drum beating inside her throat, reverberating through her body, echoing within her bones, loud, aggressive, but it calmed to the sound of waves in a conch shell when Lily said quietly, “Hi, love of my life.”

[apocllipse]

PAIRING: mage!gojo x reader

author note: i can add so much more to this. also, not proof read (yet)

mage!gojo is an illegitimate child of the emperor but no one is aware of who his father is. the emperor never pays his mother and him any attention, they are abandoned to look after themselves.

mage!gojo who is left no other choice but to overwork himself day and night to fend for himself and his mother. he strives for achieving more than something ordinary because that is what will move the high society into making a space for him and his mother, whom they ridiculed day and night ever since his birth.

mage!gojo who turns out to be one of the most phenomenal mages in the history of the empire. he is able to control not one but two natural attributes, water and air.

mage!gojo who only started getting noticed by the emperor only after his spectacular achievements as a mage.

mage!gojo is disgusted not only by his father but also all the aristocratic families and everyone in high society who made his life along with his mother's a living nightmare. they only seek his favour after he received the title of the one managing the mage tower at such a young age.

mage!gojo who becomes the most sought out person overnight, one after another noble lady lining up to seek him out but he is anything but naive. he notices how none of them are truly interested in him but it's either his looks or his title that they suddenly find captivating enough to spike their interest in him.

mage!gojo spends most of his time locked in the mage tower doing research or teaching his apprentice. he would rather overwork himself than step out in the high society and play friends with those two faced nobles.

mage!gojo who decides to take in a few more apprentices to occupy his time as much as possible but he doubts many would join him given his reputation of being tiresome to work with.

mage!gojo who looks at you as if you have grown a third head once you personally approach him and abruptly ask to join him as soon as possible, even if it's starting from right at this moment. “is that really okay?” gojo asks, a little uncertainty still swimming in his eyes but you have never been more sure of something in your life so you stand firm to your words. gojo adjusts his glasses a little and taps the corner of his mouth with a finger, his other hand gripping the books in it a little more tightly, he looks deep in his thoughts as he stares at you as if he is contemplating whether to let you in or not. your shoulder slumps a little expecting him to flat out refuse you at any moment, “you are more than welcome,” your head snaps up and your eyes meeting his surprised, “i hope you stay as adamant” he adds with a cheeky smile that melts your heart like all those years ago and you can't help the one that forms on your face right after him. he turns on his heels and you follow right after him, wishing to be able to do this for a long, long time.

mage!gojo isn't someone warm. he is open to conversation, he looks easy to approach and he is often shooting a smile even in the smallest of conversation but you notice how he prefers to be alone, how his brows frown a little when he sees someone approach him before he immediately flashes a smile that never seems to reach his eyes.

mage!gojo flatly refuses any confession of love or any proposal that comes his way. even if it's in a kind manner, it's hard not to notice the hard look in his eyes that is very interestingly in contrast to how gently he lets his words flow. how can one seem so considerate and hostile at the same time?

mage!gojo is someone you have looked up to since studying beside him in the academia of mages, always seeing him come at the top of your classes. his abilities were never once doubted by the people around him though that can't be said about his character as an illegitimate child of a well known daughter of a marquees.

mage! gojo was quick to catch your eyes, not only his abilities but you were sure no one in the entire empire-no the entire world has such a marvelous face. those silky snowy locks of his hair always stood out to your eyes as he stood tall amongst your other classmates. it was hard not to let your heart flutter at every flutter of his own feathery eyelashes that covered the most beautiful pair of crystal blue eyes. besides his looks and abilities, his demeanor, which people ridiculed, never seemed to put you off either. you had helped him carry books from time to time around the academy, you helped him look for books in the library and during the breaks from classes you had sit not too far from him to steal glances every few mins. the sight of him alone in a corner, always reading to himself, sent pangs to your chest but you were hesitant to approach him for something more.

mage!gojo of today is different. at times he is almost unrecognisable to you. soon after you joined him as his apprentice, he started approaching you himself. it started in the first week of your work with him, “let me help you with those” gojo pointed to the pile of books in your hands as you were about to make your way up to the lab where you expected to see him but here he was. you held the books a little tighter, “it's fine! this is nothing, i will be right after you” you tried to assure him with a smile. gojo stepped forward and silently took the books from your hands, his fingers grazed yours lightly. you look at him and your mouth falls open as you notice the tips of his ears blooming a sweet shade of red, “it would be rude of me to let you” he says quickly and immediately turns on his heels to walk ahead of you but you don't miss the fumble of his hands that held the books and the way he tripped in his steps a little when you both turned a corner, his ears turning a deeper shade and he clears his throat as if to clear the cloud of embarrassment above him, “next time, please call for me” he said it more like a request, wishing to be of helpful to you. though you weren't so sure who needs the help here when he is the one looking more helpless than ever, making you chuckle.

mage!gojo is a changed person around you because there is no other explanation as to why he would use his precious time and mana into making a messenger that you can use to exchange letters with him, irrespective of the hours of the day. it's a small blue bird, he makes it extra shiny and look as sickly adorable as possible. it's even more unbelievable that he is doing this taking out hours from his sleep, into the dead of the night. so what if i have a few hours less of sleep? he thinks as he finishes his product, carefully placing it on his bedside table and climbing into his bed.

what he didn't expect was to stay up the rest of the night, staring at the small shining bird, overthinking whether it will be to your liking or not.

mage!gojo decides that displaying the practical aspects of his product to you is the best way to get you to like it. so the next day, while working with gojo's other apprentice, you see a blue bird flocking its way to you with a rolled piece of paper in its beak. it's blue and shines in a way that it reminds you of a certain someone, the bird lands on the table in front of you. along with you, gojo's only other apprentice besides you stares at the bird with wide eyes. you take the rolled piece of paper from its beak, “speak to it” was instructed at the piece of paper and looking at the neat handwriting, you know who exactly it was from but you are too scared to get your hopes up. you bend your face closer to the bird, “hello?” you greet in a small voice and the eyes of the bird flashes the slightest bit before you hear a voice from it, “do you like it?” it's really him, undoubtedly. you stare at the bird shocked, it's not like there is anything you don't know which magic is capable of but seeing how gojo used both of his elements to create something like this is still amazing. he is truly amazing. you think to yourself and your thoughts are interrupted with his sullen voice, “if it's too extravagant or too little, i can try again. i just sent it to check if it's working in terms of practical use” you can almost see him pouting on the other side so you are quick to reassure him, “i like it so much i can't believe my eyes. you are a really amazing mage” you finish with a small smile. how much more amazing could it be? not only can you exchange letters as the bird can hold it but you can also talk to each other using it? you flinch as the guy beside you gasps and it's too late to realise you weren't alone here. you clear your throat and send him a glare to keep him quiet, “since it's done, what are you going to do with it now?” you ask curiously, “keep it. it's yours.” gojo says immediately as if he had been waiting to hear from you on the other side.

“sure, i would love to” you replied bashfully before taking the bird in your arms before walking out of the lab. as soon as it was night, you rolled the piece of paper that you spent an embarrassingly long amount of time writing, after you had rushed out of the lab this afternoon.

“the water element makes this bird look so beautiful, the blue is so pleasant to my eyes it's hard for me to look away. reminds me of your eyes. thank you for this lovely gift”

you let the bird fly out from the window of your room, watching it fly away to wherever gojo might be right now. you feel the rush of blood throughout your whole body as you make your way to bury yourself in the covers on your bed.

mage!gojo totally didn't expect he would be spending more sleepless nights after he made you that messenger bird. not that he was complaining in the slightest. in fact, he awaits the night everyday now. as soon as he wakes up from his 2 hours of sleep, he wishes for it to be night again, when he is having lunch he wishes for it to be night again, when he is walking around the tower inspecting as his daily routine—he wishes for it to be night again. because once the dead of the night arrives, he finds himself in the comfort of his room, unwinding about his day to you through that precious messenger bird. something he never got to do before because no one in this world cared enough to listen. he makes jokes he never thought he would get to share with someone, he teases you and hears you make threats at him from the other side, he hears you laugh wholeheartedly which makes him do the same. things he never dared to dream of experiencing. he gets to do them all with you and he is more ambitious than ever before as he makes plans on how to make this thing between you last longer, perhaps forever if he has the power to.

mage!gojo is the lord of water and air but he can swear he feels nothing but fire burning his entire being from his desire of you as he gazes at you from not too far, as you once used to at him.

mage!gojo is the one and only, solely controlling two attributes of nature. perhaps that is why it's hard for you to miss the tsunami of his love for you in his ocean-like eyes. perhaps that is why he is able to knock the wind out of you and perhaps you still love him all the same from years ago that is why you are willing to let this storm consume you.

reblog to manifest gojo in maid dress in your dreams.

[plutoasteroids]

What's holding you back - PAC

PILE 1 > PILE 2 > PILE 3

My readings are allegedly for entertainment purposes ONLY! Anything said in my readings does not replace the guidance of a professional counsellor, doctor, therapist, lawyer etc!

If you need professional help, please seek it a tarot reading isn't a replacement!

THIS READING MAY CONTAIN HEAVY TOPICS OF DISCUSSION!

You were born bluer than a butterfly Beautiful and so deprived of oxygen

You were born reaching for your mother's hands Victim of your father's plans to rule the world

PILE 1

You have a lot of inner strength you can bounce back from any situation PILE 1, but something ended in your life that caused you to isolate yourself and feel like the whole world is against you when in reality it's not you just told yourself that the world is coming to an end just because you went through one rough patch! You are going to need to do a deep dive into why that situation affected you so much try heal from it and find a silver lining in it all. But it won't be easy it will cause you to go through a lot emotionally but after all of that you will come back stronger and willing to face the world but first you have to face whatever problem is causing you to feel so awful, you really can't avoid your problems forever!

PILE 2

What's holding you back are the people you surround yourself with. When it comes to them it's like you are looking through rose-coloured lenses refusing to believe what's clearly in front of you. You are a good person the problem is you have severe people pleasing tendencies and these people just take and take from you and what are you left with? NOTHING AT ALL! You are advised to set firm boundaries while still maintaining your kind nature. Figure out what it is you need to do and stop to make people stop walking all over you and once you do that life is going to be so much easier for you and more opportunities will present themselves to you.

PILE 3

For you guys what's holding you back seems to be work related. You are feeling stuck and like there is no way out of the situation (you know better what the situation is) but it feels like a weight on your shoulder, the pressure of it all may be making it hard to breathe, you basically just feel stuck, and you don't know what to do about it. You need to take a step back and figure out what to do next, rationalise, plan and find something that works for you because what you are currently doing isn't making you very happy infact it will only make you more miserable as times goes on, I see some of you may develop some depression from the situation as a whole and you are advised to take charge, find the cause and solve it then things will quickly work out for you in the end!

[gwemmieee]

Yeah. I have a big bone to pick with women who go out of their way to gatekeep someone out of our club. Most of them are cis and straight, but trans fems who do this unfortunately exist. That instance looks like some disgusting hypocrisy to me, because most baby trans fems really emotionally lean on the willingness of this community to emphasize that you are your gender and you are valid no matter how many steps you've already taken and been successful with. That is a crucial, supportive message, and suppressing it in any way is tantamount to pulling up the ladder behind you. Which, yeah, every community has its assholes who pull up ladders.

It is also a tough line to walk sometimes for women, because most of us have learned that there are certain ways we can't entirely just open up to most masculine folks and let them into our entire lives and every space. Not without a lot of pain. So we are incentivized to wait until someone makes it clear that they're safe, before they're let into our inner lives more. This function has caused me SO much strife, because before I was accepted as a woman, it kept me outside in the cold, alone, really close to an early grave, but now that I am fully living as a woman, and even before I was doing that, my efforts to ignore this function entirely and just let any masculine person into my heart, my inner world, and my safest spaces, have not always gone well, and sometimes those efforts have backfired, made me unsafe, and deeply traumatized me.

These days, the only conclusion I've been able to find is that women need to work on what we recognize as red and green flags, for who is safe. It's pretty easy to see that the average set of red and green flags you see most non-queer white women adhere to are... crap. Truly crap. Delusional, not based in reality, etc. And that sucks because it isolates them more and it gives them more excuse to be really shitty to people, or to gossip about them in ways that really aren't fair to them.

Earlier in my transition, I still had it internalized that I had had so much trouble because I wasn't good enough, because I didn't do enough, and that's why women didn't let me in. But I was literally running around freely saying out loud that I was genderfluid, that I had no concept of manhood and little concept of gender, that I thought it would be cool if I was born as a woman, that I wanted other pronouns to be used on me, that I could be pretty gay/queer, acting pretty gay/queer, openly rejecting most masculine behaviors and modes of thought, constantly openly celebrating femininity, experimenting with gender presentation... I was a very queer little dude. And I've only been able to recognize that in retrospect. Because nobody let me in. Trans fems may have let me in, but they weren't around much in the late 00s and early 10s. I never met one. But I did meet and usually deeply connect with countless fellow eggs, before any of us knew. In situations like mine, trans fems generally didn't even get to find themselves until a bisexual cis woman took it upon herself to date them as a perceived man, and then recognize their queerness and allow them to explore gender with her acceptance and assistance. Because being allowed into womanhood was so rare and taboo that it had to happen behind closed doors as part of a romantic relationship. I was aro/ace, and I unconsciously looked to get the same experience out of a platonic friendship, but all I got was led on. Told I was a close friend but still treated like a stray animal compared to their feminine friends. Not let in.

Meanwhile, cis women, and fem-raised queer folks who at the time universally saw themselves as, yknow proudly not quite men at least, universally treated me like a burly cis man deserving of none of their support or curiosity and all of their suspicion and gossip about how "he's creepy." Consistently. Until I finally came out as a woman in 2022. And that's so 100% on them. They went out of their way to not see me for who I was and just keep me out in the cold. So yeah. The state of gatekeeping of womanhood is *bad*. And in my experience, most of it comes from people who had/have easy access to unquestioned claims of womanhood, whether that's because they're AFAB or because their transition into womanhood was really fast and made them really conventionally attractive.

But what about trans fems? Well, we aren't perfect with our red and green flags, either. It's hard to be. Personally, I've noticed there is a small contingent (VERY small) of trans fems my age who operate more like the old world transsexuals in that they really are truscum gatekeepers, often also ableist, and borderline psychopathic in the level of emotional labor they expect from you as a friend vs. what they're willing to put up with in return. And that is very unfortunate. My early transition saw a lot of them genuinely help me as incredible new friends, but then hurt me badly and burn bridges for no good reason. And I feel that there is a bit of a schism in the trans fem community between elders who usually just want to stealth out--who look down on baby transes and cringe and don't help us, or even if they do talk to us and help, there is still a very clear line denominating their actual friends and community that we never get to cross into--and the rest of us who openly embrace being queer and not assimilating all the way. But, frankly? Most trans fems I've met are the most welcoming and least gatekeeping folks on the planet. Most are that latter, queerer camp. And we operate exactly the way that we should: we let anyone safe into our inner world, even if that safe person happens to be a man. And some of us STILL see that backfire. And so even we can't be completely carefree. But we can always learn and grow and get better and better at what we actually identify as red and green flags.

wait where are all the trans guys

Historical-anthropological research, especially the work taking place before the 21st century or outside the West, tends to focus entirely on transfeminized groups. So when reading these works it’s pretty natural to ask — wait, where are all the trans guys? This is a reasonable question with a few clear answers; this post is something quick I can point people to.

The central condition of transfeminized groups' absorption into feminist activism has been to accept a kind of symmetry with select TME groups through the understanding of trans femininity as "gender variance." Under this framework, transfeminized groups' social position can be understood as a consequence of gender variance and some abstract violation of cis norms; this was proposed by people like Susan Stryker and Emi Koyama [1], among others, and continues to structure trans inclusion today. It also fails when considering several basic aspects of these groups:

Transfeminized groups are associated with hyperspecific labor practices, most frequently sex work, but also hair styling, drag, makeup artistry, acting, and other forms of 'gender work.'

Metropolitan transfeminized groups appear in the archive as highly clustered and active groups connected with, but usually intensely split from, the masculine men they fucked.

Transfeminized groups become a kind of 'third gender' on an epistemic level; they are Known to wider society before and after “coming out” in a way that USAmerican transmasculinity has only recently vaguely approached.

Transfeminized groups are heavily clustered in labor practice, social organization, and epistemic position, although this is not universal -- certain strains of USAmerican transfemininity have become a bit more labor-agnostic in the last two decades, not-so-coincidentally alongside more general currents of gender-labor liberation. The messy strains of trans male identity recovered from the archive and from current practice tend to lack labor, social, and epistemic coherence. As Aaron Devor notes in FTM, his 1997 history of FTM men, trans men in the 20th century tended to transition out of cities and into the countryside, finding low-profile places they could exist in. These practices, and the earlier "female husband" practices described by Jen Manion, relied on the labor-agnostic nature of transitioned manhood in order to disappear from public life. Transfeminized groups, on the other hand, are categorically restricted from the main form of economic life historically available to women -- marriage. Their labor practices are heavily constrained and have almost always revolved around some form of 'gender work:' as Susan Stryker put it, you need to get people to pay you for being a trans woman. Transmasculinity pushes away feminized restrictions on labor; trans femininity is labor.

Because transfeminized identities are so often labor-identities, and because their specific brand of 'gender work' and hormonal/silicone/surgical embodiment usually requires both specialized training and community support, nearly every metropolitan center in the world developed highly centralized transfeminized groups over the course of the 20th century [2]. As Ochoa notes, this visibility is partially due to epistemic visibility (everyone knows what a trans is), partially due to group structure (people work and train each other), and partially due to the selectively visible demands of finding clients. Fledglings come in with a way of being that is always already visible to society, but changing the body to match and learning how to fully enact and slowly contest the third-gender labor-identity they've been given takes a lot of community support.

So as labor-identities, transfeminized groups tend to a level of labor/community/epistemic coherence that has no clear counterpart. The news archives we have of trans men (as seen in Manion) position them as singular and easily absorbed back into the female gestalt; the cisgender feminist/gayguy/AIDS researchers that form the bulk of historical-anthropological work saw them as unnecessary to their grand theories of gender; the communities themselves have been materially fractured and, for the groups that rise out of lesbian-feminist activism, only partially committed to their own existence. The result of all this is that there is no clear equivalent to the "transfeminized groups" of Jules-Gill Peterson; there is no symmetry to trannydom, and while additional work to unearth trans manhood in the archive remains extremely valuable, sometimes the necessary level of label-coherence and social existence just isn't there.

[1] Stryker, "My Words to Victor Frankenstein Above the Village of Chamounix: Performing Transgender Rage," Emi Koyama, "The Transfeminist Manifesto" [2] As seen in Namaste, Invisible Lives, Prieur, "Mema's House, Mexico City," Kulick, "Travesti," Newton, "Mother Camp," Ochoa, "Queen for a Day," Hegarty, "The Made-Up State," and plenty more. Most of these works came out in the late 80s and 90s due to a combination of the feminist "third gender" craze, the burgeoning field of masculinity studies, and AIDS.

[gojoswhitebabydolllashes]

Spongebob me boy😃 we gonna make people cry with this one💪

--

I was busy grieving and loving.

- a story about the events after you lose jayce and viktor when they sacrifice themselves during the war. -

A/N: This will be heavily poetic and emotional and may contain sensitive topics.

----

It's never been so cold.

So quiet.

A month after the war against viktor's army, piltover and zaun were finally united as one. You're not sure how long it's been since you returned to the university, nor are you sure how long it's been since you've been outside.

The council grows weary of their lives and direction without Jayce, and when they announce that they are losing faith in their will to keep going, you can't help but feel the exact same. You don't know how to help them, and they haven't bothered to ask you to take a position as they know you'll decline immediately.

You have yet to feel the sun on your skin and the feeling emerald grass soft like hair beneath your trembling hands. Silence. That's all there is, is pure, cruel, and violent silence that threatens to crush you as it bloats like a cancerous growth on your soul.

What little will you have left to live like this. Pouring your heart and tears into things that will never be held by their owners again. Gadgets and mechanics that have only ever seen the hands of a nimble, sick man and his broad, cheerful partner. You can't bring yourself to try and work on them. You simply didn't have the guts to finish what they started.

Hours bleed into days, days bleed into weeks. Seconds pass by, and you are still not yet to feign even the smallest of smiles. Some moment after midnight, Caitlyn pays you a visit, but her face reminds you of jayce, and you simply can't bear to look at her.

Your greatest friend. Turnt into your worst nightmare.

When you're truly alone with yourself and are out in a drunken daze staring over the crystalline city that was piltover, you stare at the gun that sits on your desk. Like an evil presence that won't leave you alone, it haunts you. The look of it, the sheen on the metal.

You are forever haunted by the fact that the hextech crystals have been confiscated and destroyed. And so, you may never meet your lovers by such a violent ending.

You were not sure what you were anymore.

Hero?

Villain?

But what hero is designed tragic? And where would a villain be if not out cutting souls with his jagged nail?

Broken, painted fingernails dig crevices into wood when you think about where you're supposed to be, and why haven't you succeeded in completing what everyone asked of you long before the war? Why aren't you on your toes and falling to your hands and knees? Were you broken? No, but you were grieving, and a grieving woman owes no one nothing.

Blood has stained your hands for too long, and you can't wash it off. It never comes off. And you have so desperately tried. Your time has started to be spent in the undercity. Fighting against other fighters, ones who are tall and muscular, massive men and women made of metal and dosed with shimmer.

But it's not about their size. It's that they are fighting someone with nothing to lose. There is nothing more dangerous than a person who has nothing on the line. Vi tries to take care of you, telling you that fighting and getting yourself beat up will change nothing. She knew what it felt like to take your anger out on other people. That you feel like hurting or even killing another person will bring back the one you lost.

But it doesn't.

Sometimes, when you spend a few days staying with caitlyn and vi at the kiramman house, you struggle to accept that your reality may just be that you only have three people left that you love. Ekko, vi and caitlyn are always there for you to lend a helping hand.

And although you don't like how it feels to be near Caitlyn anymore, she has helped you heal the most out of everyone. Caitlyn takes you on walks to places you, Jayce, and viktor used to hang out. She takes you to a cafe in the town square and lets you order the very drink that the three of you shared on your first date.

A strawberry milkshake with whipped cream on the top. It's sweet, tooth achingly so. And the cream is sugary and snowy white. The bright colour of pink reminds you of when jayce would blow into the drink and make sugary sweet bubbles in the pink drink.

It would make you and viktor laugh, and you would put cream on each other's noses and laugh like the world wasn't in pieces.

The next place you go is with vi and ekko, it's to the garden where jayce and viktor first asked you to be their partner. It was a spring day, where floral scents were blowing in the breeze, and the cool air is contrasting the warm sun.

The scenery of bright orange flowers and light green leaves on trees, a pond with mossy rocks and lilypads decorated with a small pink blossom. It looks like when viktor's cane fell into the pond and without hesitation, both you and jayce jumped in to retrieve it.

When you two returned to the surface, sopping wet and covered with green algae. Viktor had no doubt in his mind that he would marry you both one day. Ekko tells you that it's okay if you want to cry and you do. You sit on a rock and feel its bumpy, grey surface under your hand. It's rough and warm from soaking in the sun.

Your tears drip onto the rock, and they, for a second, are there as a wet splatter. But they soon evaporate from the sun, and they are gone as quick as they were there. Watching as the tears disappear, it reminds you that this is a happy place. A place where your soul became intertwined with two scientists.

The last place you go is on your own. It's the room where viktor and jayce first started their research. It's still broken and condemned, and the blueprints on the board are torn and browned. Paper scattered on the floor are stuck from battering rains coming through the hole in the wall. You try to pick one up, and it tears, but it's clear the Ink has stopped bleeding and the writing is incomprehensible but you can tell it was jayce who wrote it by the small j that still barely visible on the corner.

Then again, jayce's writing was always incomprehensible. He didn't need water to make his write all different places. He would write up and down, put lower and capitals in the wrong spots. Viktor and you would find his papers and secretly edit them so that he didn't make a fool of himself infront of the council.

However, viktors was impeccable. He wrote like a poet for a poem about his wife. Always using curls and various big words, his q's always had his signature flick. That's how you knew viktor wrote something. Jayce often took his papers to study.

Looking around the room, you know, for the first time, it doesn't hurt to be here. You're alone in the room where your lovers once stood. Yes, it's painful. Yes, you want to burst through the thick concrete walls and scream while bloody. But for once, you just don't. You can't.

Instead you sit amongst rubble and dust and remember them just how they were.

Cheerful and unapologetically themselves.

[auroras-zenith]

what doesn't kill you // part 2

you had your whole life planned out for you; start an agency with your best friend, scale the charts and make japan your bitch. but when a tragic accident leaves you incapacitated and out of a job, you find you just need to start fresh. you cut ties–and for two years, you've all but disappeared. until they need you again and come knocking at your door.

bakugo x retiredpro!reader

prologue ✧ previous ✧ next

It was cold, that day–the steady thrum of machinery beeping dragging you back to the land of the living. A calm breeze drifted in, gently lifting the ends of your hair.

You opened your eyes, feeling dazed and–oddly enough, tired–despite having just woken up from what felt like the world's longest nap.

A second later, clarity came crashing back. You sat up right, eyes instinctually darting around the room for threats.

Paranoia. The mark of a hero.

Calming as you identified the exits and found nothing threatening, your gaze drifted down, surprised to find someone at the foot of your bed. He had a mop of curly green hair, and he seemed to be passed out cold; eyes puffy and red.

"Izuku?" You asked. You winced at the sound of your voice, the hoarse, raspy tone harsh on the ears. You cleared your throat.

He stirred slowly, swollen eyes finally opening. He pushed himself up, blinking. His eyes, one second filled with the innocence of dreamful sleep, fell almost immediately–a heavy weight overcoming them. He averted his eyes awkwardly as they filled with a look foreign to his features. Guilt.

His expression contorted oddly as if his face wasn't sure how to express this particular emotion.

"I'm glad you're oka-" His words fell short abruptly, and his lips pressed themselves into a thin line. "Awake." He whispered instead. "I'm glad you're awake."

You frowned, feeling nervous as the memories of last night–was it even last night anymore–came rushing back.

With it came the burning question that now sat heavy on the tip of your tongue; the same one that every hero always dreaded–and yet was desperate–to ask after a mission.

"What's the casualty count?" You finally mustered the courage to inquire, voice timid and unsure if you really wanted to know.

He shook his head, emerald eyes falling shut in agony. "1,953." He said, voice cracking.

A strangled, sad noise fell from your lips before you could stop it. Nearly 2,000 dead.

Some parents, some siblings... each somebody's child.

How many of those had been your fault? How many could you have prevented? If only you could've saved even just one more.

The room was silent for a minute, the familiar feeling of inadequacy creeping back into the air. You had failed.

You opened your mouth as you turned back to him–prepared to ask another question when all of a sudden, the words died in your throat.

You blinked, slowly processing something off in his demeanor as if slotting together a few pieces of a puzzle.

That was odd; or perhaps terrifying was the better term for it.

Something still seemed to weigh heavily on the hero's shoulders.

He sat, face in his hands now, hair messy and body slumping inward. If not the body count, then what?

"What's wrong, Izuku?" You offered quietly, leaning to the side slightly to pat the chair closer to you. He had been your first real friend in high school. You knew when something was up.

He shook his head, refusing the seat. He couldn't be next to you as he said this. Couldn't be so up close and personal to the havoc he was about to wreak. "Oh, Y/n." He whispered, voice cracking.

"What?"

He kept his face planted firmly in his scarred hands as his large body began to shake with silent sobs. Gradually, they became less silent as he looked up at you, tears dripping off his cheeks in rivers.

He looked nothing like the man on every billboard in Japan.

He was not wearing his signature smile, draped in his fancy, high tech suit. He was not beside a motivational quote, or a famous politician, or a luxury brand. And most notably of all, he was not sitting with his back straight, posture boasting the kind of confidence he had dreamed of since he knew how to dream.

His arms shook, and his whole body seemed to cave in on itself as he sat, looking nothing but defeated and resigned, dressed in a plan grey t-shirt and black sweats.

He was no longer Deku–the man every girl in the world fawned over. He was Izuku Midoriya; the kind boy who you had asked to join at the lunch table when he roamed the UA halls alone.

"I'm so sorry," He sobbed. "I'm so, so, sorry, Y/n."

"What? What, Izuku?" You begged. "Izuku, please. You're scaring me. Izuk-"

"It hit your spine, N/n." He managed, words strained and forced and broken every other syllable with a heave of his chest. He refused to look at you–shoulders still shaking as he held back his cries. "G-god, I wish things were different."

"What-" He could practically hear the gears in your head spinning double time as you fought to understand the situation.

Or perhaps you already understood it.

You just couldn't accept it.

"Izuku-" You started, panic quickly rising in your gut as the steady beeping beside you suddenly wasn't so steady anymore. "Izuku- Izuku what is going on?"

Why were the walls closing in?

"Izuku, why- what- Izuku, I can't feel my legs." You whispered hysterically, breathing growing erratic. "Why- why can't I feel my legs? Oh my god, I can't-"

You wanted–needed–to run; escape this damn room and find somewhere you could actually breath- except nothing below your waist seemed to be cooperating.

"Y/n please-"

Your knuckles turned white as your shaking hands found the railings attached to your bed, forcing yourself up in your need to move.

You were out of the cot before Izuku could move to stop you, his chair flying across the room as he rose to his feet.

But where your legs would've automatically shifted to prop you up before, there was nothing keeping you upright now. Instead, you felt the world shake and then the floor came flying toward your face and–

"I'm sorry."

a/n: thank you for all the nice comments >:( stop before i eat you all up <33

taglist: @floverisland @biancatomlinson @rosaryia @highlandhyena @sarashu @rednicotine @emmaiscool22 @your-mum3000

permanent tags: @phtmmsqrde

[galpalaven]

Felassan - Inquisition Companion + Romance Option

I blacked out after work and wrote this in a daze. Enjoy?

Felassan presents himself as a Dalish dreamer mage and friend of Solas, joining up with Solas from the very beginning after the Conclave. 

He is romanceable by any gender or race, unlike Solas who is still race-locked (but bisexual — because the main gripe between the two is the topic of modern elves and anyone else being “real”). I think it would be interesting to also have specific dialogue if you try to romance both at once — Felassan would urge Lavellan to be careful with Solas either way, though it turns more clearly yearning and sad if the player has also triggered the beginnings of his romance.

Since Felassan’s addition to the group would be an extra mage, I think to balance all that out Cullen should be able to be taken at least on some outings, and we could have an extra rogue as well (Harding would fit here, I think).

more under the cut

Personality

As a friend of Solas and his direct counter, it’s immediately noticeable that Felassan is much more friendly and playful. Notably, he enjoys chatting up a Dalish inquisitor about being Dalish, and answers questions companions have about the elves with far more enthusiasm than Solas. If the two are in the party together, he will actively tell people not to listen to Solas and poke fun at him for being rude. 

He gets along well with all of the other companions. Some who get along less well with Solas will comment on how they don’t know how he’s still friends with him when they are not in the party together. He gets along especially well with Sera, showing interest in her upbringing without making her feel condescended to the way Solas does. He particularly enjoys hearing about the Red Jennies and her efforts at helping to even the playing field for the underprivileged.

He gets along with Vivienne as well — I think it would be interesting for Vivienne to be vaguely familiar with him after he had been friends with Briala. I think it’s not a terrible idea for him to have still been involved there, too, as it could come in handy during Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts.

Story Influence

The main differences with Felassan’s presence would likely come into play mostly with things to do with the elves.

Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts

Felassan is one of the most useful companions in this quest. Knowing Briala personally makes it easier for the Inquisitor to convince Briala to either:

Get back together with Celene

Become the puppet behind Gaspard

Felassan knows his way partially around the palace and is able to direct the party slightly when looking for things needed to advance the quest. He is also friends with some of the servants, allowing them access to some of the servants’ tunnels in a pinch.

He makes cheeky, sarcastic comments about the nobility when asked. He’s better at not speaking about his past, so he doesn’t get shifty during the quest like Solas does. He’s happy to dance with the Inquisitor, enjoying the scandal it will cause, with maybe a special line with a Dalish Inquisitor. Rather than single them out and make them “special” compared to other Inquisitors, it’s mostly just on principle of relating to them as another elf, similar to dialogue that can be triggered with Bull about being Qunari (or Tal-Vashoth, in that case).

What Pride Had Wrought

Welcome Felassan as the 3rd option for the Well of Sorrows!

This is where he becomes a real player on the table. He will argue with Morrigan about the Dalish, correcting her outright in places. They never gave the Dalish Inquisitor a real chance to argue with her about things, or explain things themselves, so he has snarky commentary either correcting her or being surprised when she gets things somewhat right. There are also scenes where he will take up the explanation entirely.

Felassan being present also will give the player the correct answer to the rituals. He knows them, explains offhandedly that he’s been here before as an excuse, and makes it far easier for the player to ally with the Sentinels rather than fight them.

By the time they reach the Well, things are tense. 

Solas still fights with Morrigan and the Inquisitor both. If the Inquisitor brought him and Felassan both, he will immediately reject the idea when Felassan offers himself as an option. 

Romanced!Felassan wants to do this for you — he knows what will happen, he knows the weight of this decision, and he doesn’t want this for you. He will elaborate if asked that drinking from this well will bind you, not only to the memories within, but the will of Mythal. The Inquisitor can, at this point, shrug this off if they don’t believe in Mythal or that she is still alive to control them. If the Inquisitor still chooses to drink themself, he accepts this, but tells them that he will help them with any… side effects, should they arise.

Unromanced + High Approval!Felassan will say something similar — you are his friend and he wishes to keep you safe. He will elaborate similarly if asked with high approval.

Low Approval!Felassan offers himself as a Dalish authority, perhaps derisively suggesting that he is older and wiser than a Dalish inquisitor, and that this is his responsibility, not theirs.

Either way, Solas is NOT happy, but will ultimately accept the final decision.

Trespasser

We come upon the eve of the Betrayal of Felassan.

At low approval, Felassan will have left some time in between the end of the main story and Trespasser, seeking to follow in Solas’s footsteps and find him. Despite not having high approval, Felassan is still fundamentally opposed to Solas’s decision, and will be trying to track him down alone to stop him — something Solas has been running to avoid at every turn. He does not want to see Felassan — he does not want to kill his best friend.

High approval and/or romanced Felassan is present and there to help the whole way through. 

Romanced Felassan particularly will have a scene where he will quietly pull his love aside and ask if they trust him. If they say yes (or “You’re scaring me.”), he will tell them that this will sound crazy, but ask them to listen until the end before saying anything else. He will explain the story of the Dread Wolf as he knows it — the rebellion, the Evanuris, the vallaslin, all of it — and then, at the end, explain that he knows this because he lived it. He tells the story of the slow arrow and the Dread Wolf (a Dalish inquisitor can recognize it midway and will interrupt with surprise) and explains that he was there. That he has known Solas for thousands of years, that he has walked this land for thousands of years.

He will also explain that he knows what Solas wants and that he must stop him — that they must stop him. Solas wants to fix what he thinks he broke, but the people alive today do not deserve the fate he would have of them.

And Felassan is willing to do whatever it takes to stop him.

High approval Felassan will explain in much less detail via commentary while discovering the murals in the Crossroads, leading up to eventually finding Solas.

Once Solas has been found, Felassan runs ahead of the group, disregarding calls for him to stop. The Inquisitor is left one man down as they chase after him until, finally, they reach the place where Solas waits — and they find Felassan in Solas’s arms, a knife through his ribs.

Felassan will be stabbed by Solas regardless of Felassan’s approval with the Inquisitor. However, depending on choices made during either Solas or Felassans personal quests, and maybe Solas’s level of approval with the Inquisitor, Felassan can die.

The Inquisitor who loves him or is his friend will rush forward as Solas stumbles back, catching Felassan and holding their hand over the wound, careful not to move the dagger. Between the blood and the Inquisitor’s mark consuming their other arm, they are a sad sight.

Solas apologizes, but states that it was necessary. He would only get in the way. The questioning continues as normal here, up to Solas taking the Anchor.

Romance

I’m not entirely sure how this would go yet. I think he’s playful and flirtatious if the Inquisitor starts it. He will throw out Dalish phrases sometimes “for privacy,” with a Dalish inquisitor, which comes with a very obvious, if not always visible, wink. 

His quests do focus around his identity as an elf, and around preserving elven history, whether the Inquisitor is Dalish or not. While this kind of happens with Solas, a lot of his dialogue is about how wrong the Dalish are — Felassan provides a different, more loving perspective on the modern elves compared to the ancients.

I think a love triangle route between him and Solas would be SO juicy. He wants his friend to be happy, but he knows that Solas does not believe that the elves are full people, and is concerned for the Inquisitor because of this. I think even if the Inquisitor locks in Solas, if the flirts were triggered with Felassan, you CAN actually come back to his romance after Solas dumps you (which, especially if they let him remove the tattoos, can hurt both you and him). I think it unlocking a special scene where he says that yes, he knew what they were and yes, he chose to keep his because he wanted them, would be sweet (and relatable if you chose to kEEP the vallaslin).

Overall, I think his romance would be sweet and fun. A direct counter to Solas and Sera, two elves who hate other elves. Felassan is proud of being an elf, he is proud of the resiliency of both the Dalish and city elves. He’s interested in every part of the world, including the dwarves, Qunari, and humans.

It's been a very long time since I played DAI so please forgive any inconsistencies. I just needed to write something down after work lol. tagging people who showed interest earlier! @lammstrellicon @swoleas @isayashai @witchofthewakingsea @ash-soka

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

The First Two Seasons Should Have Been About Collecting As Many Guests To Prove The Hotel Could Work

Seriously, the hotel guests could have been characters developed from the early concepts including Mimzy, Baxter, Crymini, and even Villa. Sir Pentious and Cherri Bomb joined but it was muddled down by squishing in the heaven plot line that shouldn't have been there when we are not yet establishing characters. Seriously, by getting as much guests as possible you could work towards developing side characters we can come to enjoy and attach ourselves. They don't have to be the center of every episode but we can see them converse among the main cast and their fellow patrons so we can feel the hotel is thriving and might have a chance. Also we can have different characters try out the hotel for different motives than redemption like Mimzy using Al to hide her from loan sharks and she obliges. Cherri Bomb joining to be near to Angel Dust and gradually dropping her more toxic enabling traits to become a better person for his sake.

Seriously, there was so much potential in patron hunting yet it was thrown away to get too fast to the grand stuff. That would mean leave Lucifer for season three so that the heaven half can be used for later but be in the lingering background. I could see each patron coming in and having their own song that tells about themselves and their motives in life. I also would loved it to show how they got into hell and none of that I am a victim of society bs, but genuine things they did in life that condemned them and then realize over the series they need to improve themselves to become better people.

I am thinking they should make Villa a hellhound hellborn who joins because she could be a worker for Velvette and wants to get away from her. I think it could open the idea of Charlie also looking out for hellborns and could double the hotel as a refuge. And to emphasize the Crymini is a hyena and a sinner.

[genderqueerdykes]

genuine question about some identities

why do you think theres so much hate for people who are afab/amab and are also trans women/men, those who are cistrans and multigender people?

ive noticed that when you tell certain queer people you'd think wouldn't be exclusionist that your gender is funky and you're trans bc of it, they begin to use your assigned sex and your biology against you because "you can't be a trans woman if you have a uterus, ur just feminine".

its the same argument as conservatives make it. why is there so much hate?

ppl don't acknowledge my individual genders but instead see how they work alongside each other. ppl don't see me as a trans woman when my gender is woman but will acknowledge me as a trans man because of my sex traits.

these are some very important questions to ask, i appreciate you for sending this ask

i honestly think more people are becoming indoctrinated into transmedicalist and gender critical thinking without realizing it, and it's becoming dangerous. people want to inherently label an afab transfem and/or an amab transmasc as liars, people who are spitting in the faces of others, and shouldn't be a part of our community. other people make assumptions about others' experiences based on their own and don't understand that there is an entire world outside of their perspective, and that world is full of experiences they have no hope of understanding, but can simply accept.

i've gotten a lot of questions about whether afab trans women and amab trans men can exist, it's definitely a hot button issue right now, and i agree with you. if you ask me, afab trans women and amab trans men deserve to have a platform to speak from. if someone genuinely believes their identity is trans no matter what their AGAB is- who the hell am i to stop them? it's important for afab trans women and amab trans men to not speak over their other siblings and try to speak for what it's like to be intersex or an amab trans woman/afab trans man. but that doesn't mean that these people can't exist- they deserve the right to talk about their experience, because it exists alongside the experiences of amab trans women and afab trans men. they're not fighting with each other, they're unique experiences that belong under the same umbrella.

at the end of the day, someone standing there being an afab trans woman, an amab trans man, or a cistrans person is not hurting anyone. the identity itself will hurt no one. ignorance about what other trans people experience is dangerous, and so is speaking over others, but these identities in and of themselves are not harming anyone. it is very possible to go "i don't understand how that works, but if that is how they identify, then i will respect that."

between people becoming indoctrinated into radical feminism and people who are proudly adopting gender critical politics, there is a schism in our communities that don't need to be there. people think they need to "weed out the fakes" in order for us to be accepted by cishet society, which is just not how any of this works. we can't cast aside the queers who are "too weird" or "not really queer" in order to try to make the rest of the community look legitimate

this community has always been here for people whose identities don't line up with the cisheteronormative binary. it doesn't matter what someone's AGAB is- i mean, isn't that the point of the trans community? are we not the "i don't give a shit about your AGAB, i want to know who you really are" community? it's become honestly scary to see how focused the queer community has become on AGAB. people are utterly obsessed with trying to figure out the AGABs of strangers in order to deny them access to queer spaces or kick them out of spaces they rightfully belong in

and it bothers me deeply that people police the identities of multigender people beyond belief. it's like having 1 trans identity is okay but if you dare to have more than one, you're not really queer or whatever. cistrans people, multigender people who are cis, trans wo/men who consider both their manhood and womanhood trans no matter what their AGAB is, transfemmasc/transmascfem people... these identities belong and yet people proudly and gladly wake up every day to do conservatives' jobs for them.

whenever you police another queer person's identity, no matter what your intention is, good, bad or something else- you are doing conservatives' jobs for them. you are not preserving our community. you are not keeping identities sacred or safe or whatever the hell. you're gladly sucking up to our oppressors and spreading their propaganda. it's disturbing how people don't realize this

thank you for taking the time to send this ask, i agree with you 100%. this behavior has gotten out of control and it's time for people to wake the fuck up and realize they've been indoctrinated into transmedicalism, radical feminism, and being gender critical. this isn't the "right" way to behave. it's antithetical to the very foundations of the queer community.

[yellowhollyhock]

you know the hardest thing about 07 fanfic is getting around the gaping plot hole of 'your training ended a year ago and Master Splinter says you've stopped writing'

Like? What am I supposed to believe here? That Leo's gone for an extra year (twice as long as he's supposed to be gone), nobody goes looking for him, he stops writing, and nobody's reaction is 'Leo is either in serious danger or dead?' Everybody assumes he just decided not to come home?? And they're right???? Like we don't see much of Leo's personality but from what we do see, a year is a long time to just not write and not let anyone know he was gonna be late

That just doesn't. Make any sense.

So here's me trying to make sense of it

When Leo first left, Raph became the Nightwatcher (as per prequel comics). Mikey starts his Cowabunga Carl thing, with Donnie's help, and enjoys it a lot for a while. It's the only time he's getting out after all. Other than training, which is not going well without Leo. Donnie's not a very firm leader, barely wants to be doing it himself. Raph is checked out and short-fused. Master Splinter tries to intervene but that largely looks like scolding and isn't much help at all.

Mikey knows Raph is the Nightwatcher. In the beginning Donnie thought he must not be, because of an instance here or there where he was too harsh, too reckless, couldn't be their brother, he would never do that. Mikey responded by pointing out the good things and arguing over the debatable things and reminding Donnie of the trouble Raph can get himself into when he's fixed on a goal or acts from a place of anger. Donnie sees the schedules continue to line up and has to concede, but that leads to the question: what is Raph so angry about? And while they haven't come up with an answer, privately Donnie assumes it's at him (for not being the kind of leader Leo was).

Four months after Leo leaves, they're still training every morning and going out occasionally. Six months in, they still train most days. Master Splinter has asked them not to go out together because of how they treat each other during training. Mikey likes his job less and also clings to it more as it becomes the only way he's ever getting out. By the time Leo should be home in a month, while each of them still practice, training together is rare.

That's when they get a letter from Leo that he might be late, and isn't sure how late.

So he's a week late. Donnie is researching every boat and airplane that left from Japan (last known general location) trying to guess what's likely to have caused the delay and extrapolate where Leo might currently be.

Two weeks late. Mikey is planning such a big homecoming party that increases in intensity with every night Leo's not there. It might be tonight, we have to be ready. He's not taking gigs and Donnie's getting stressed about money.

Raph is being the Nightwatcher and only sees his brothers for a brief time in the evenings--and lately those evening have been all about Leo. He's watching them both worry themselves sick. He'd actually allowed himself to be excited for Leo to come home, imagined they could have a good time together if he had a chance to pull him aside and talk to him about the thing he hasn't talked to anyone about: Merryweather's death. It's his big brother he wants to tell and he can't explain the Nightwatcher to his family until he's had that conversation with Leo. They fought about it before Leo left and he needs him to understand.

But now he's getting angry. Where is he? Donnie expresses concern that Something Happened; Master Splinter insists they must stay calm and not give up hope.

Three weeks late. Donnie is now insisting Mikey get focused back on work. At this point Donnie is still being Mikey's driver, in the headset and on standby every time Mikey goes out. Mikey wants him to back off (I can do this myself) so that at least someone will be home to greet Leo since Mikey might not be (your fault for making me go to work). Donnie is really hurt by the implied 'don't need you anymore' and feels guilty (which somebody really should) that Mikey's the breadwinner for the whole family. Even more guilty now that he thinks his help was more for his pride than because Mikey ever needed him.

Then a letter from Leo. Sorry for not contacting you sooner, I'm safe and well, hope I didn't worry you. I'll be at least another month. Much shorter than his letters used to be; they're more worried than ever. And this time the return address is way off course from what they thought was his path home. What's going on?

Mikey wants to write to him. Everyone else points out they don't know where to send the letters. Donnie is back to obsessing over maps, train schedules, weather patterns, anything that might hint at an explanation. Between their jobs and worrying about Leo, Raph doesn't understand how either of his brothers can still stand upright.

He becomes more aggressive out in the streets. He's worried and confused and pretty steamed at Leo for giving them nothing to go by. And even more angry at who or what could have hurt him badly enough that he doesn't want to tell his family what's going on. He's quicker to hit and more hasty to decide who the bad guy is.

Donnie and Mikey see the change. Donnie starts openly criticizing the Nightwatcher every chance he gets (trying to get Raph to fess up or better yet stay home or at the very least see that he's going too far sometimes and needs to take a break). Mikey responds by doubling down on his defense and praise for the Nightwatcher (also wants Raph to confess and knows he won't when Don's talking like that, wildly hoping to be invited along, wanting to keep Raph safe but also eager himself to have a space to let out his own building anger).

And what's Mikey angry at? The fact that Master Splinter hasn't done anything. He's satisfied with Leo's explanation. Doesn't seem concerned, like Raph and Donnie are, that something went wrong. Master Splinter replies that the Ninja Tribunal is wise and at times unpredictable. They may have thought it right to extend Leonardo's training. Donnie points out that the return address for Leo's recent letters are not in Japan; did the Tribunal travel with him? Master Splinter doesn't have an answer and still insists on remaining calm and hopeful.

Now it's been two months, one week past the second time Leo was supposed to be home. Mikey plans a party again, this time with much less support from his frazzled, sleep-deprived brothers who are trying not to get their hopes up. Raph tries to keep Mikey from getting his hopes up either. That doesn't go over well.

After three months, they get another letter, another apology with no explanation, this time saying he has no idea when he'll come home, but don't worry, he's coming.

Raph has been seeing night after night what the world can be like. He's convinced something unspeakable happened or will happen to Leo, but he can't tell anyone that. He wants to go after him, but how is he supposed to find him? The best he can do for Leo is the same he did for Merryweather: be the hero they can't be anymore. Make people who are careless with others' lives Pay. And somehow he has to keep it from his family that he thinks Leo's gone gone, or might be soon; they couldn't take it. They don't know the world like he does. He can protect them from this, for a while.

Donnie thinks Leo must need help, and that's driving him crazy because he doesn't know how to reach him. But he's going to find a way. He starts planning and saving up for parts to build his mutant finding matrix thingy. After their argument he doesn't want to ask for Mikey's help paying, and it wouldn't be right since he's been really trying to let him be more independent. He finds a job. Mikey seems bothered, they talk and work out a better working relationship that allows Mikey more independence and pays each of them separately (Mikey of course making more because he's doing more). Now with the call line job supplementing that he's able to ease the burden on Mikey and April of providing for the family (he knows Casey's been worried about the kind of work April's been taking) and he can buy the parts he needs to find Leo, go after him and bring him home. He's going to fix this for everybody.

Six months after the first time Leo was supposed to come home, Mikey finally gives up hope. He's been secretly sending letters to different places he thinks Leo might be. He stops. He's hidden nightmares about what could happen to Leo for months. He stops asking for Raph or Donnie to go skateboarding with him, stops insisting on family nights every Saturday. He gets closer to Splinter, who he's seen a change in and knows, in spite of continued insistence to stay calm and not give up hope, Master Splinter gave up a while ago. Donnie says he's just getting old (he's been very worried about his health and is becoming more micromanager about it every day), but Mikey knows it's more than that. He sees the depression Splinter is hiding. Splinter doesn't notice the same in him.

Around that time, they finally get one more letter. Leo says that he's not going to be in a place where he can get paper or postage, so they also won't be hearing from him. He doesn't say anything about coming home.

Raph had thought Leo was dead; the letter makes him furious (he's been mourning in secret for nothing? Is Leo even in trouble or just decided not to come back?). Donnie is thrilled by it; not being able to send a letter actually might help him narrow down where Leo is, and they have a more recent return address now. He's about ready to pack up and go get him, something he assumes Raph will be on board with.

Well, Raph can't leave, and he can't tell his family why (they know why). He and Donnie have a screaming match. Raph wants to know how this return address is any different from the letters before, and why they didn't go then. Donnie brings up Raph not seeing Leo off at the airport when he first left. Raph asks if Donnie's even been training. Mikey suspects it got physical, but if it did they both hide the bruises well and they're not saying a thing.

Raph starts going straight to his room when he gets back in the early morning, and staying in his room until he can hear that the rest of them have gone to bed. Once in a while he'll come out to argue if he overhears something that sets him off.

Mikey would go with Donnie to get Leo, but Donnie says Raph's right, he'll have moved on by the time they get there, it's the same as every other return address. He just needs more time to figure out where Leo actually is.

Mikey is starting to think they've run out of time, but just like Raph, he doesn't want to say that.

Batnapping happens like eight months in. Master Splinter is deeply bothered by it, gets stricter, asks his sons not to go out until Leo gets home. Raph has to get sneakier. Mikey had to negotiate to keep his job (Donnie helps). At this point Donnie is the only one who almost never leaves the sewers; April tries to get him to her place as often as possible, usually finding that asking for help is most effective.

And that's how they all live for fourish months before Leo finally (unexpectedly) returns.

[dairy-farmer]

So I had an idea a while ago but didn't have anywhere to share. Honestly very happy to have found your blog and asks(very fun to read too).

Basically:

Tim has an artistic eye, he IS into photography afterall, which means he can look at, enjoy and find beautiful something most people consider sexual in a completely objective way. Specifically, the human body.

So just Tim wanting to start a personal project where he explores the inherent beauty of anatomy. But he needs models. Somehow he gets his brothers to model for him.

Maybe they had to fight arousal almost from the get go, naked in front of him with all his focus on them. Every ounce of his attention on one person at a time and making them feel not just appreciated and beautiful, but like they were the center of his world for that short time.

Or!

Or maybe there's nothing to it to them. Kid is putting a weird amount of focus on body parts not really all that important, like they'd get it if he was focusing on the parts of them generally considered attractive, but he's not? Go off I guess.

Then they see the final products. They don't know how he did it, but... they feel seen in a way the never knew was being neglected.

Damian sees his hands through Tims eyes. They were always just a tool to him, not all that special even if vital. But somehow Tim has captured them in a way that is powerful and strong, and beautiful and gentle. You can see a paint stain that Tim insisted he not wash off, his calluses from training and the muscles coiled under soft skin.

Jason sees his eyes. His eyes that have become more green since he came back, eyes that he avoided looking at in the mirror because they didn't feel like his anymore. Eyes that now look back at him in a way that were they anyone else's he'd say they look intelligent and empathetic. He sees his lashes in stark detail, beautiful and not pitch black, a few as stark white as the streak in his hair that he never noticed extended beyond that. The corner of a scar that doesn't look hideous, but beautiful.

Dick knows he's beautiful, has been told so many times it's become shallow. He knows which parts of him are lusted after. He expects to see something along those lines. Instead he sees his shoulders. Not as some sensual part of him to be objectified, but... as wide and strong, as load bearing and of steel. He knows he's beautiful, but he's never seen someone even try to look past that in a photo.

Tim took so many different photos of them, but his focus was on picking photos that capture their very essence to him.

So seeing themselves through his eyes? They fall and they fall HARD.

them seeing themselves through tim's eyes and seeing that he thinks of them as art, that he can see the little pieces that make them up. when tim talked about photographing them for some personal project because bruce had told him to get a hobby- they'd mostly laughed it off. they hadn't really been taking it all that seriously they'd just been mostly humoring tim.

but then they'd been in tim's little bedroom studio and tim had been arranging them and his warm hands moving them- adjust posture, cupping heads and hands and moving them a certain way.

tim sees them as pretty and wonderful he photographs them but doesn't make them obejcts he makes them people 🥺💖💖!

[izziessogay]

I really didn't like how arcane ended and I wasn't going to speak on it, but I have to get it out.

personally I relate to Vi, not only as a butch lesbian, but also as an older sister and as someone who is easily taken advantage of at the promise of comfort.

jinx's death shattered me, and trust me I am familiar with tragic character deaths, this is different. she stood for something. she stood for traumatized and mentally ill people, for survivors of abuse, people with bpd and so on, she was flawed throughout the show but she was not villified (imo). they showed her experience as a real human experience that deserves compassion. killing her reinforced the belief that suicide makes suicidal people happy, it doesn't. death isn't happy, nobody was relieved by this sacrifice, and you would know that if you have ever been in a place like that, known someone or even lost someone, because of this shit. my wife deeply related to jinx, the trauma she had, the things she was battling and all that still not making her irredeemably evil. this character is supposed to show that you can struggle and be alone and miserable and that you can get better despite that, that you deserve to get another go at life, no matter your flaws. arcane did that, up until the last act. my only sister is a teenager, who every day battles with things she gets minimal support for, I live far away and often feel helpless. jinx both represents my wife and my sister to me, the people I love most in this world. her ending feels like a huge fuck you, 'haha, you thought there was hope? actually struggling teens should just kill themselves semi heroically, because we don't want to deal with their antics'. even if they are hinting at her surviving none of this changes, they killed her socially still, when she was meant to be with her community, to build herself up again, to find her family (other people have said more eloquent things about all of this, check them out).

I have more issues with the finale, but over all I think that all the story lines needed more time.

I didn't quite get what happened with Mel and what the black rose even was, but I didn't care much about her character, so maybe I missed some things, I think she turned out the best in the end.

Ekko seemed to only have one purpose, which was to save. other than that he didn't get much character development. people are praising him for being the best, but I fear that might be because he's awfully underwritten and doesn't have much about him, other than him saving the main characters. Even his alternate universe escapade didn't give us an insight on him, more on Powder. His power wasn't explained well, especially when he broke the four second mark without any consequences it seems. in general I can't pick out many flaws, which indicates a poorly written character.

I didn't mind astrally insane Victor to be the enemy of all, however Jayce's and his story took up too much of the final act for me. they didn't seem that relevant to me to be the turning axis of everything and as someone who doesn't care much about their ship I didn't get much out of that arc. it felt out of character for a show that had been about systemic oppression and family feuds and classism to have a conclusion of "imperfection is actually beautiful". that seemed redundant, all characters in the show have flaws and redeeming qualities, even someone like silco or ambessa. everybody who likes the show knows "imperfection is beautiful", it didn't feel like a satisfying conclusion for the viewer, even if victor might have had to hear it. ON TOP OF THAT we never actually got explained anything regarding Victor and his descent to evil and how the fuck that happened.

In the end nothing seemed like it had changed, Piltover is still oppressive, the only reason why they work with Zaun now is because they fought a common enemy once. Sevika (my beloved) gets looked down on in the council and as the only Undercity-member it's impossible for her to overturn a vote in Zauns favour. Cait is still a cop, not having changed anything about herself, Vi has nobody besides her, no family. Mel seems unhappy, Ekko is definitely unhappy and in a worse spot than before. I frankly don't care what happened to Jayce and Viktor, but their ending is the only one that would keep me on my toes for more. Which brings me to a hot take, possibly: I think we might have been queerbaited, hear me out. We got lesbians (which I am eternally grateful for), but thes were a thing since early season 1, after season one people started talking about Jayvik, which wasn't supposed to happen originally, but since it brought engagement they made their relationship a bigger part of the story. Possibly also the reason why Vi and Caits relationship seemed rather rushed and inorganic at the end. you can disagree with me on this.

Lastly I have to talk about Vi, a character that I couldn't relate to for most of season two, because it's been a while since I had to deal with situationships and breakups. All that made me overlook what Vi really stands for. She might seem hard and tough, but mostly she is looking for comfort, she loses people close to her constantly and is therefore constantly in search of another safe space. A safe space that is never really provided. Cait doesn't understand her trauma, her upbringing, her culture or her family, and she never bothers to understand it. She never shows remorse to what she did in the undercity, she never questions Piltover (only ambessa, an outsider). She never sees Jinx as someone who deserves redemption, she never sees why Vi is struggling, she never makes an effort to care about her past and her experiences. You might wonder why Vi still is with her, but it's honestly obvious enough, it's because she doesn't have anyone else left. Cait at least loves her for her personality or her looks or whatever, and that's more than anybody else loves her. I hated that they put her back with Cait in Piltover, it seems very abusive to me, considering what we know of Cait (she might be different now, but we never get to see any of that, so I'm assuming freely). Vi will take anything and everything to make herself get some comfort, however toxic that behaviour may be. I see that as the reason why she folds so easily whenever Cait shows interest and forgives immediately. She didn't find well deserved peace in the end with Jinx (and Cait), she got "good enough for now". Nothing was addressed, nothing changed. AND JUST TO CLARIFY I AM HAPPY ABOUT THE LESBIAN REPRESENTATION AND I AM VERY GLAD WE GOT IT, OVERALL I THINK THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAS VERY INTERESTING TO WATCH. JUST LIKE THE REST OF THE SHOW I DIDN'T LIKE THE END.

For a show that was about the people, we got horrifyingly little people focused resolutions. The last burial we see was Rictus, but dozens of people die after him. We didn't talk about Isha, we didn't talk about Jinx, Ekko wasnt even allowed to get a word in after he deus ex machina saved everything. Sevika didn't get any conclusion. Mel seems on the same path as her mother. Jayce and Viktor are to my knowledge still astral projecting through space. Cait never learned compassion with Zaunites. Vander couldn't be saved. An unsatisfying end.

Tldr:

- Jinx's death was bad, mentally ill people should be saved and their illness shouldn't be glorified over them

- none of the story lines seem finished and rushed to an end

- Viktor and Jayce's story felt overpowering and took away from a story about oppression and sisterhood

- in the end nothing changed

- my butch dyke/older sister heart that can be manipulated quite easily too hurts for Vi

- I didn't like it 🍅🍅🍅

[astro-is-a-bigot]

Hi! I assume this post is about us but reading back through our post (had to do this because of amnesia and wanting to recall exactly what I'd typed) and I realised that I had made a complete misstep in anger, encouraging "flooding his inbox and notifications with hatred" which is so non-specific and not helped by my follow-up statements making it seem as if I would be okay harassing Astro on the same level or even worse than what he is done. This is such a big mistake I will likely private that post - but I'm currently thinking about how I can do that without making it look like I'm erasing those actions.

Note that the following explanation doesn't excuse that, but I will use this to articulate my stance properly.

Like firstly... I completely forgot that death threats were a thing someone might send to Astro. Straight up. I don't know why. I was more thinking along the lines of, "you suck!!" or "get off the site!!" which are kind of mean but definitely nothing along the lines of wishing Astro death. If I had wanted that I would be out here advocating for doxxing-- Which is absolutely not what I want!! As I've been trying to articulate in my follow up posts, I want him to be deplatformed - specifically from Tumblr! Xe can go exist on Reddit for all I care, it's whatever.

And my follow up being, "wouldn't this be wishing violence on Astro?" was so brushed off in my response that, again, it did not come across well. But when it comes to harassment, there's often people who will try to make out like the actions of people banning someone and getting kind of mean towards them is on the same level as the harasser themselves - which completely ignores the context.

The reason sending a bigoted hate towards someone is not necessarily equivalent to sending hate judging someone's morals is - as I believe I've tried to articulate - the difference between upholding bigotry and dismantling it. So while there are lines you don't want to cross, I can't say I'm going to be sympathetic to a bigot if they get sent some mean messages. And this point can easily become frustrating to explain when in one breath people will state to victims "just block the harasser", and yet someone sending a mean message to the harasser themselves results in the critique "you shouldn't be doing that!!" I address this in this post with the following:

[Harassers] also like to define what is "being a good person" because they're betting on you holding yourself to that. They count on your good graces to make you complacent because they tell you, "you wouldn't want to stoop down to our level, would you?" But you know what happens when you don't let the shitty person define for you what being moral is? You get shit done.

In general, I also made the assumption that others would have the same restraint as what I do (I personally have Astro blocked and would never catch myself getting in a back and forth with xem), but that's not what most others do. They don't leave an ask stating, "get off the site" and proceed to block Astro, report him, etc - he insults the other to bait them into starting a reblog chain, and they often fall for it. That is absolutely the kind of behaviour that feeds a troll. (Which I wanna note I still blame Astro for that because I'm not here to victim blame people. If someone gets emotional after being misgendered and sexually harassed, I don't see it as being "on them" for being baited. Especially since it's never okay to sexually harass someone, even if they were "asking for it". Ew.)

So that's a very long explanation of everything, but I hope it clarifies my views. And if you need further elaboration I will provide it. But I'm very sorry to everyone for being so aggressive and completely blundering my initial posts. I hope that doesn't stop others from seeing my point and helping to kick Astro off the site because, it must be said, the one thing that absolutely stops harassers from engaging with their behaviour is when you take away the means to do it...

So yes, deplatforming is very practical behaviour that does not feed the trolls! And if that requires making documents or blogs archiving bad behaviour and calling for action, that is not (contrary to how it appears) "feeding" the behaviour. It is, in fact, necessary to communicate and coordinate as a community to counteract harassment.

friendly reminder that no, death threats are not okay. no, not even to someone that "deserves it". who the fuck are you to determine that. you are not doing some Good Thing even if you see them as a Bad Person. that's a real slippery slope. it's not gonna make them want to change, either, bc why would you change for someone who's saying you should die. this is also about telling people to kill themselves btw. and don't try to justify it bc there's genuinely no way to that doesn't circle back to "it's okay when i do it" and/or "it was justified bc they're Bad™". hope this helps. 👍🏾

[cargoshortsenjoyer]

This is Herbert West about to experiment on Jeffrey Combs. The concept originally came from @heliojip on here. He hasn't released his image yet though.

I had begun jokingly brainstorming how Jeffrey Combs would react if he was transported into the Reanimator universe and met Herbert. I think he'd escape with his knowledge of how horror movies work and how to act if you wanna be the survivor, and then go eat some keebler fudge magic middles (discontinued). Then Herbert would find him and Jeffrey would have to make up a reason why they look so similar, and he'd tell him that he was his REAL biological dad; the sperm donor to his actually adoptive father. Anyways if you want more of this headcanon tell me, it was fun

[liquidstar]

and now for something stupid