Adult. go to my sideblog, @wereallsaloonaticshere (Eddsworld), or my other sideblog, @candy-induced-vertigo (Wordgirl)/ header is by @Sushi~Kuso. Howdy! (Formerly fanboysstillexsist )
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cargoshortsenjoyer · 6 hours ago
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A majority of the fears of transition strike me as ultimately being fears of aging. You don't want to get bald, you don't want your boobs sagging, you don't want to get bigger, you don't want your back to get hairy, you hate that rather than resembling an anime character you will look like your dad or your mom. you're afraid of losing fertility, you're afraid of losing skin elasticity, you're afraid of losing hard-ons or vaginal moisture, you don't want to lose muscle you don't want to lose flexibility, you think people will no longer be attracted to you, you fear something will happen to your body from which you can never turn back, and most of all you fear the inevitable winnowing down of life options that actually occurs for all people as time advances, whether they make a decision about themselves or not.
what else have i forgotten here? especially curious on trans feminine perspectives on this (whether they converge with or diverge from or merely complicate what i am saying). this is for a piece
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cargoshortsenjoyer · 10 hours ago
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Gunsmith (Cat)
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cargoshortsenjoyer · 10 hours ago
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cargoshortsenjoyer · 10 hours ago
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soma
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cargoshortsenjoyer · 10 hours ago
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We call this “Kraken Enrichment” 🐙🚤
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cargoshortsenjoyer · 10 hours ago
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cargoshortsenjoyer · 11 hours ago
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Tim Curry (Frank n Furter)
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cargoshortsenjoyer · 11 hours ago
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cargoshortsenjoyer · 11 hours ago
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Unfortunately speaking, generational gap does exist even within the angelic hierarchy
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cargoshortsenjoyer · 20 hours ago
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Almost every Palestinian currently has or has had relatives in Israeli jails. Some are jailed for loose affiliation to certain groups whilst some are jailed for their activism against the occupation. There are many, however, that are jailed "just because." They've committed no crime. If they did, they certainly weren't indicted for any. Even the ones arrested and imprisoned for their activism rarely get indicted or if they do, it's on bullshit charges. Palestinians are also tried in military courts compared to Israelis who are tried in civilian courts. Israel can imprison anyone it likes for however long It likes "just because." This includes children. In the West Bank, Israel is the judge, jury, and executioner. It effectively runs a police state through its occupation. According to Bt'Selem's statistics from June 2024, Israel currently holds over 9, 000 Palestinian prisoners, with over 3, 000 who are "administrative detainees" i.e. held without charge or trial. It gets even more sinister when you consider the conditions inside Israeli jails, how many "confessions" are extracted through torture, how many prisoners are raped and tortured to death. So much of this is conveniently left out or falsely reframed as "innocent hostages vs criminal prisoners" when people call for the release of the hostages. I want the hostages to be home with their loved ones as soon as possible but the thousands of Palestinian prisoners deserve the same as well.
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cargoshortsenjoyer · 21 hours ago
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Asking for money again :( two of my roommates have decided to move out at the same time throwing my house into a stressful clusterfuck. I'm completely at my limit trying to hold things together and I'm $500 in dept to the bank. If you could help me out I would really appreciate it. ($0/$500)
Cashapp: lilove99
Venmo: thelmaelizabeth99
PayPal: thelmaelizabeth99
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cargoshortsenjoyer · 22 hours ago
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comm for blazarbloom
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cargoshortsenjoyer · 1 day ago
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Hi! Huge update... I reached my goal! It's actually been lowered significantly because I contacted another doctor out of state. This would not have ever been a viable option if it weren't for my friends willing to take me in while I recover. (I love you guys)
It's... over! The remaining amount that was raised will be used for travel fees and food 😋
Thank you everyone who's supported me in this journey. It seriously would have not been possible without the help from so many. 😭😭😭
🏳️‍⚧️
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cargoshortsenjoyer · 1 day ago
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cargoshortsenjoyer · 1 day ago
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Gender liberation, in the end, is not a war between the good group and the bad. It is a collective struggle against the laws, cultural norms, social rules, and institutional policies that restrict all people, and uses rigid gendered categories to keep us so restricted. 
I think if we are going to be able to move forward in this fight, trans men must abandon the notion that other men are fundamentally the “bad” gender — and that we don’t belong to that category because of our transness. We must embrace manhood as a state of both strength and profound lostness, an immense liability as much as it is a source of gender euphoric joy, and see the frustrated wanderings of other marginalized masculine people as of a piece with our own. 
And so, in the interest of helping us all find our way to each other, here are some of the major struggles that trans men and cis men have in common: 
Gender Dysphoria 
Many people believe the experience of having gender dysphoria is something like having a phantom limb, or seeing the wrong image in the mirror, but that’s rarely true. 
For a lot of trans people, gender dysphoria feels more like a maddening insecurity about how we look and how we are being perceived that seems to know no satisfaction, a mental itching that wanders all across our bodies, our faces, down our throats, across our hairlines, and even all over our clothes. It’s the uncertain sense we are not being ourselves correctly, an out-of-placeness that makes our very being feel like it has no right to exist.
Gender dysphoria is not caused by having the “wrong” gendered brain for one’s body (the notion of “male” and “female” brains is a myth), nor is it a mental illness afflicting only trans people. Rather, gender dysphoria is a pretty sensible trauma response to society’s unrelenting and coercive gendering. All people are categorized as a gender, assigned rules, and threatened with becoming less of a person should they fail to measure up. This means that even cisgender people can experience the terror of feeling that they’ve failed to enact their gender correctly and make themselves socially acceptable— a sensation that often gets called “gender dysphoria.” 
I think I first realized that cis people could be gender dysphoric when the actress Amanda Bynes revealed she had tumbled into a major depressive episode after watching herself portray a male character in the comedy She’s the Man. The disturbance she felt from watching herself enact the “wrong” gender sounded exactly like how I felt back when I looked in the mirror at myself as a “woman.” 
In 2019, when Jason Derulo complained about his bulge being removed with CGI for his role in the film Cats, I was reminded once again that cis people can feel utterly, dysphorically wrong in their bodies or how they are perceived. Each year, millions of cis people spend thousands of dollars on breast augmentations, jaw implants, hair plugs, and leg-lengthening surgeries, at least in part for gender dysphoric reasons, and if you’ve worn both male and female clothing before, you’ve likely recognized how much of the tailoring of garments is done to deliberately accentuate or even manufacture the gendered features of a person’s shape. 
Cis people feel ill-at-ease in their bodies, and fail to measure up to gender normative standards too. That’s how artificially constructed and harshly enforced these standards really are.
In recent years, I’ve spent a good amount of time in gay male bathhouses. When I reveal this fact, even to other gay men, I’m sometimes met with confessions of deep bodily insecurity. The idea of being nude in a highly gendered sexual marketplace often causes people’s worst gendered fears to bubble up. 
“I could never go to a place like that,” one cis gay man in his forties confessed to me. “My dick is too small. Nobody would ever want to look at me.” 
“I wouldn’t fit in there,” said another cis man, a short, effeminate type with long flowing hair. “They might think I was a girl and kick me out or harass me.” 
These men knew, of course, that I don’t have a penis, and can be mistaken for a woman from some angles. And I had just told each of them I’d never had any problem visiting the sauna. Yet they couldn’t shake the sense that I was doing manhood correctly enough, and they were somehow doing it wrong. Despite ostensibly being “cis,” they weren’t quite sure that manhood as a category could hold them as they really were — not when they were nude and vulnerable, surrounded by their idea of the proper man. 
Of course, having been in these spaces frequently, I could have told them that nobody there is the “proper” kind of man at all. There’s just regular human beings in there — with sunken chests, stretch marks, amputated limbs, multi-layered bellies, rounded backs, tiny hands, and eye patches. 
Over the years, cis men have shared dozens of gender dysphoric insecurities with me, about everything from the width of their shoulders to the length of their eyelashes to the way they hold a can of beer. And in some of the sections below, we will explore more specific examples, because these sources of dysphoria mirror trans men’s almost exactly. But it’s important to establish first that the major commonality across both groups of men is our fear we’re not being men correctly at all. 
Every man, I believe, grapples with the disjoint between their actual, complex human selves and the strong, built, stoic, powerful, masculine image that has been pushed upon us. And we fear living up to that standard because the consequences of that failure can be so harsh — these norms are quite violently imposed. 
Failing to be a man, in some sense, is what being a man actually means. We are united in the precarity of our position, as powerful as it is. A man in a tank-top with a bald spot sitting beside a lush pond. Photo by Beth Macdonald on Unsplash
Hair Insecurities 
“I wish I could grow a full beard so that I could pass better,” says Topher, a trans guy with long hair in his mid-twenties. “But I’m realizing that cis men with long hair get misgendered often too.” 
Dunmer, a bisexual trans guy, echoes this experience. “In this one chemistry class a few years ago, both me and this cis guy got called ma’am by a professor. I’m a rather effeminate/androgynous dude, but I have prominent facial hair. And the other guy who got misgendered was pretty masculine, but had long hair and was clean shaven. We both just kinda looked at each other and shrugged after it happened.” 
I’ve found that numerous cis and trans men harbor deep insecurities about their hair — where it’s growing, where it doesn’t, how it looks on their bodies, and where they might be losing it. It may sound like a frivolous subject at first blush, but hair is integral to gendered perceptions, as well as how others view our sexual attractiveness, race, and age. 
Trans men worry frequently about potential hair loss on T for more aesthetic reasons. I’ve known numerous trans masculine people who have avoided starting hormones because they’ve feared eventually going bald and becoming “less attractive.” And in this we aren’t alone, as 52 billion dollars gets spent each year (by people of all genders) on hair loss prevention treatments. 
“It’s helped me to realize that cis men are also scared of going bald,” says Topher. “When I worry about something gender-wise, I ask myself if cis men deal with what I deal with, and it’s helped me settle into my identity more.” 
Cis and trans men also share complicated feelings about body hair. Though being covered in a dark blanket of fuzz certainly reads as “masculine,” male beauty standards for the last several decades have eschewed hairiness in favor of a the glistening, action-figure-y look. Trans and cis men alike often fear that hair sprouting on their backs will make them unattractive, or that growing a “neckbeard” will be seen as slovenly. And it’s no coincidence that hairiness has often been linked with fatness and being racialized in many people’s minds — the uncontrolled proliferation of hair is often cast as animalistic, unclean, disgusting, less than human. 
But some men have sought refuge from such punishing standards within the gay Bear community. 
“I have never felt more welcomed in my masculinity than I have around other bears,” says Kody, a trans male bear. “I’m literally growing in my manhood — getting bigger, hairier, louder, taking up more space. While being really soft and tender too.” 
I wrote about the many struggles that unite trans and cis men, and how a deep appreciation for our commonalities is essential to the fight for gender liberation. You can read the full piece for free, or have it narrated to you by the Substack app, at drdevonprice.substack.com.
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cargoshortsenjoyer · 2 days ago
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2004
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cargoshortsenjoyer · 2 days ago
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part of the reason America still doesn’t have universal healthcare is that a large portion of the healthy population consciously or subconsciously believes that being sick is somehow a moral failing. someone randomly has a heart attack at age 30 and there are people like “well, you should have eaten better, exercised more and drank less” like a medical emergency is proof you were living a life of sloth and sin and it could never happen to them. 
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