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yannowhatigiveup · 4 years ago

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My One And Only - Chapter 18

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Hey! Welcome back to another chapter of MOaO! I won’t be able to update this as much as I want to (I’m not really updating it as fast as I won’t to right now but I’m trying) as exams are coming up as well as other various things. (I just realized that I haven’t said this earlier I’m so sorry, Ramadan Kareem to those who celebrate it!) Also, thank you so much for 128 followers!

"...I believe I found a way to subdue Hawkmoth"

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Her eyes repeatedly scanned the page, making sure she was reading it correctly.

"It won't defeat Hawkmoth" Damian carefully pointed out, not wanting to diminish her excitement. "But it'll be able to stop him for some time, a month or two at most"

"Do you know what this means?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. "We'll be able to have some peace of mind! We'll be able to prepare ourselves! The whole of Paris! Who know, maybe we'll be able to get some clues on his identity as well as Mayura's as well!"

By the end, Marinette was spinning around the room, her slight giggles of happiness appeared here and there. Damian chuckled at her delight, seeing her happy was probably one of his most favourite sites in the world, that and seeing her flustered.

"I understand that you're excited but what do these cryptic messages mean, 'a tear of joy'? Did I translate that correctly"

She giggled at his confusion. "No that's one of the ingredients for the power up. Speaking of ingredients, I need to get some" Her bluebell eyes quickly scanned over the tablet again before she speed walked out of the hotel with Damian on her arm. "We're going to Master Fu's old place, he still has some ingredients we could use"

The two walked in silence, there was a topic that they needed to discuss, the end of the week was approaching fast.

"Maybe in the small time of peace, I can get Father and my brothers to help"

The bluenette chuckled slightly but not out of amusement. "I almost forgot, you'll be leaving in a few days" her gaze fell to the ground before she looked up at her boyfriend, solemnly. "It's gonna be a lot different, huh?"

He squeezed her hand gently with a comforting smile on his face. "It will be but I'm sure we'll handle it"

The couple grabbed the necessary ingredients and made their way back to the hotel. They dropped them off at the hotel room before making their way upper to the restaurant to get some food. Their dinner was quickly interrupted by a rockstar coming to congratulate his niece.

"Nettie! You're rock'n'roll! Your song is a huge hit!" Jagged exclaimed once he reached the table, he only seemed to register there was another person there once he sat down. His moderate cyan eyes widened in recognition when his gaze landed on the green-eyed boy. "You must be Damian, you look just like you're old man Brucie"

Damian shook his hand when the rockstar had offered it. "I am, Mr Stone"

"Uncle Jagged-"

"You break my niece's heart, I'll send Fang to eat you"

"Uncle Jagged!-"

"And I will gladly let you"

"I approve of your relationship, I just wanted to give the shovel talk since it sounded fun"

Marinette gaped at the two males on her table. "Dami, don't encourage him! I've already got Gami waiting to spar with you"

"Ah yes, my son's girlfriend is just as scary as Penny" Jagged visibly shuddered in good nature.

"Wait, Luka and Gami got together? Without telling me?!" The bluenette huffed, offended. "And to think I'm his honorary cousin"

Jagged chortled at her reaction while Damian had a faint smile playing on his lips. The rockstar decided to take his leave shortly after that, not wanting to draw some unwanted attention. He did manage to leave a pair of blushing teens as he told them to "Use protection!" before departing. Marinette was utterly embarrassed while Damian was flustered. Once dinner was finished, the couple went back to Damian's hotel room to discuss what they were going to do next.

Doing his best to help, Damian passed the ingredients to his girlfriend who then mixed up said ingredients in a pot.

"Can you get the Tear of Joy, Dami?"

The green-eyed boy looked through the ingredients until he found the slim bottle with a minuscule amount of clear liquid. He eyed the water as it squished in the bottle, it seemed so ordinary despite the great magic it could create. Damian could almost see the water taunting him with its mystic properties, he could just about feel it as he brought the bottle closer to the cauldron.

"This is it, correct?" The ravenette showed the blue-eyed girl the bottle in his hand

Her eyes lit up when presented with the vial. "Yes, that's it" As she removed the cork that was sealing the bottle shut, Damian asked a question that was lingering in the back of his mind.

"What exactly is the tear of joy?"

Marinette turned to smile at him. "It's a tear of joy"

"So a tear caused by laughter?"

"Precisely" She looked up at the ceiling wistfully. "I remember, when Syren attacked, Master Fu was trying to decode what a 'tear of joy' was. It took some time but we managed to figure it out in the end" She sighed. "It's great that we managed to find out about 'power-ups' but if we found out about them sooner, maybe more people would've been saved."

He put his hands comfortably on her shoulders. "What did Syren do exactly?"

She stopped dead in her tracks. That wasn't the reaction that Damian was expecting, whatever had happened with this Akuma must have been bad to induce this response.

The bluenette sighed and looked at the green-eyed boy straight into his emerald eyes. "Syren was one of the most dangerous Akumas we've ever had to deal with. She flooded all of Paris with her tears, only a few hundred people managed to reach the rooftops in time"

A breath quickly sucked in through his lips, the scene itself sounded horrible, imagining it even more so, having to actually see it must have been... traumatic.

"But Ondine is doing much better with Kim. And it's all in the past, we've learnt how to deal with the memories!" Her smile hurt to look at. His girlfriend had to deal with so much and she couldn't even express her negativity without fear of becoming an akuma. Damian placed a kiss on her head as she finally got the lid off of the bottle.

Both teens watched in anticipation as the droplet rolled down to the bottle's lip, teetering over the edge. It fell in. The concoction then shimmered a silvery blue. Grabbing a bottle, Marinette poured some of the liquid inside it, looked at the bottle and hummed in satisfaction. She quickly put all the equipment used back in a box and cleaned up any mess made. Once she was finished, she turned to the boy standing over her.

"I'll bring these back to Master Fu's old apartment then I'll drop this bottle off at my house, you can tell Tikki and Plagg that they can come out now"

The contents of the box shifted to one side, Damian helped steady both the bluenette and the box before going to the kwamis. Once the kwamis where comfortably with their owners, Tikki in Marinette's purse and Plagg in Damian's hoodie pocket, they made their way to the apartment. It still technically belonged to Master Fu, he rest hadn't rented it out so they were free to roam around. After putting the equipment away, the couple strolled to Marinette's house hand in hand. The bluenette went up to her balcony, with Damian close behind, and hid the bottle under her pink-striped deck chair, away from the sunlight.

"It needs to 'mature' in the moonlight, I guess. So when the moon is out, I'll take the bottle out" Marinette gestured for Damian to follow her as she went back down to the bakery portion of her house. "I'll give you some Camembert with the power ups infused. But I'll have to make it first!"

She hummed as she went upside to retrieve other substances that Master Fu had taught her to create. In the moment she was gone, Plagg appeared.

"I hate transforming!" The black kwami whined, settling in the boy's hair.

"What's so bad about it?" Damian raised an eyebrow at Plagg's outburst.

"It ruins the beautiful taste of Camembert, and it tastes weird"

"Quit your whining Plagg" Tikki's squeaky, but still relatively scary, voice rang out as both she and her owner returned.

"But Sugarcube-"

"No 'but's Stinky Sock!"

Damian watched with quiet amusement while Marinette giggled, handing him a wheel of Camembert.

"The cheese is cut up in different slices, each representing a different power up. I'll explain which is which on the way back to the hotel"

Damian put the wheel in his pocket before taking the bluenette's hand. "I look forward to it"

~~~

Each power up was simple enough, they all had a different colour corresponding with it's ability, making it easier to memorize. The couple walked by a dark alley as Damian check the time. Passing his phone to the bluenette next to him, Marinette took one glance at the time before dragging the two of them into said dark alley. It was time for patrol. Once both were done transforming, Noir and Ladybug made their to the assigned rooftop. When landing, Noir took his staff and looked through the help guide to get a better idea of what weapon he was working with. Spinning the staff with his hands, he separated the staff into two separate batons. He hummed in contentment.

"Grayson never gave me his escrima sticks for missions. I suppose this is good training if I ever want to use them"

The two rods snapped back together with a satisfying snap. Continuing to look through the articles on his now full staff, Noir didn't even notice when Ladybug moved to stand behind him. In one swift motion, the spotted heroine pulled down the black hood that was shielding the black cat-themed hero's face.

"La-"

Her covered fingers stroked his black cat ears, she giggled as his cheeks flushed. The feeling itself was unusual to the green-eyed hero, he had never felt anything remotely similar before but he wouldn't say he didn't enjoy it. It was just... unexpected. The spotted heroine, however, quite liked making the stoic Noir flustered. His ears felt so much like a real cat's that Ladybug was nearly taken aback, she got used to it after her shock, though. Noir found himself leaning into her touch but looking at everything but her in embarrassment.

Had his ears not been occupied he probably would've heard the two other heroes arriving, he only knew they were here as he saw them in his peripheral vision, rolling his eyes as he noticed them snickering.

'Angel, Rena and Chien are here'

Ladybug's head snapped in the direction of the two other heroes, one of her hands left his head as she she greeted the fox and the dog.

"Hello Rena Rouge, Chien" Ladybug greeted them casually, something Noir knew he couldn't do at that moment.

"Hello to you too LB! Hey Noir, did the bug find a way to tame you?

He mumbled a reply.

Ladybug giggled before turning to properly address the other heroes. "I've been thinking of adding three more members. I know it's a lot since you, Rena, have only just been announced as a permanent user and you, Chien, have basically just joined. But Noir and I found something that will require their help. I have a hunch that Hawkmoth might try something like Guerrier but with the same level as Syren"

The fox-themed hero nodded. "You need all the help you can get. So who do you have in mind?"

"A Snake, a Bee and a Dragon" The spotted heroine answered with no hesitation. "We'll need a snake as it is... intuitive"

Upon registering the description, Chien chuckled. "Isn't that the point?"

"Perhaps" Ladybug hummed with a smile on her face. "A dragon can control elements, a strong power would be useful. The bee miraculous's power is immobilization-"

"Paralysis can be very beneficial when trying to stop an akuma" Noir provided his input.

"Yes. So what do you think?" The spotted heroine looked between the three heroes standing on the rooftop with her. Noir hummed approval while Chien gave her a thumbs up.

"You always have the best ideas, Bug!" Rena voiced out her agreement, Ladybug let out a sigh of relief she didn't know she was holding.

"Then I'll go get them now shall I? We gotta teach them as fast as we can" The blue-eyed heroine took the yo-yo from her hip, spinning it with a flick of her wrist. "I'll send them here and then you show them the ropes"

"Aye aye Captain!" Chien saluted and Rena followed suit, only after a quick laugh. Noir rolled his eyes in good nature while pulling his hood back up, flicking his cat ears before doing so.

Hurling her yo-yo at a nearby building, Ladybug hissed through the air, her yo-yo latching onto another building as she neared the previous. Soon enough, she landed gracefully in a quiet area where two familiar figures were strolling hand in hand.

"Ladybug?" A boy with dyed hair questioned, a bluenette with short hair and almond eyes next to him.

She nodded before pulling out two miraculous from her yo-yo with, presumably, unlimited storage. "Luka Couffaine, Kagami Tsurugi, these are the miraculous of the Snake and the miraculous of the Dragon. They grant you the powers of Intuition and Perfection. You will use these miraculouses for the greater good, can I trust you?"

Luka and Kagami shared a knowing look then turned to the heroine in front of them.

"You can count on use Ladybug"

"We're honored to be chosen to fight by your side, my Ladybug"

She gave them the miraculous and watched as they both transformed into Viperion and Ryuko. "The others are waiting at this location." She showed them a map on her yo-yo. "I'll meet you there once I finish with a task a have to do." She hissed through the air once more, thanks to her yo-yo, and landed on a rooftop that was very familiar now. There stood a blonde, leaning on the banister.

"Ladybug?" Chloe's confused voice rang out.

"Hello Chloe Bourgeois" Ladybug took something from her yo-yo. "This is the Bee miraculous, it grants the power to immobilise your opponents. Should you choose to help us-"

"I can't"

"Pardon?"

"I said I can't" The blonde looked solemnly at the heroine. "I've been an utterly horrible person, I don't deserve to be a hero. Especially after... Queen Bee"

"People can change Chloe" Ladybug put a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "As long as they are given the chance to. Do you want to take this chancep?"

Chloe stared at the miraculous before looking at the heroine with a determined expression.

"I won't let you down, Ladybug"

~~~

Ladybug soon returned with a bee-themed heroine, named Honey Bee, by her side. After a brief reintroduction, the patrol began. Rena Rouge took the west side with Honey Bee and Viperion, Chien and Ladybug took the East while Ryuko and Noir took the North, they had already checked the South. Most of the patrol was done in silence, other than the odd 'nothing wrong here'. Ryuko had been the one to start a conversation

"You're the new wielder of black cat miraculous, correct?" The dragon user questioned Noir. He recognised it as the beginning of an interrogation.

"It certainly seems that way" Ryuko hummed.

"You fancy Ladybug, don't you" The question obviously took him aback. "Do you consider yourself... worthy?

The cat-themed hero didn't hesitate. "No"

He saw her raise her eyebrows.

"Ladybug is too virtuous for this world, there's not a soul in this entire universe worthy of her affection"

The dragon hummed in satisfaction. "You remind me of the boyfriend of one of my friends. Though I have yet to be convinced that he should date said friend, you have proved yourself worthy of Ladybug. I approve of your relationship even though it isn't my place to make such a decision"

"I am pleased" Despite the fact that he is a leader in this team, he's content with the fact he has the great dragon user's approval as she is the most intimidating of the team, other than Ladybug herself.

"Also don't mess this up, Ladybug is a Queen " Ryuko casually pointed out.

"Glad I am not the only one that thinks so"

"How can you not? Have you seen her?!"

"She's a goddess"

"You have my approval again"

~~~

Noir and Ryuko were first to arrive as they had finished their patrol early, the rest of the team weren't too far behind, however.

"Alright" Ladybug began once everyone returned. "Honey Bee, Viperion, Ryuko, it'll be best if you memorize all of Paris. That way, when there's trouble, you'll know your way around."

"I found that an aerial view is the fastest way to know the city like the back of your hand!" Rena Rouge pointed out.

"That's also the way I did it!" Chien chimed in,

"Yep! If you don't mind, there's something I'd like to discuss with both Rena Rouge and Chien. Noir, will you join us?" The spotted heroine turned to the heroes named.

"I ought to" He replied flatly.

"Alright then, follow me!" Ladybug hissed through the air followed by Noir with his staff and Rena and Chien with their enhanced abilities. Soon they landed in an alley. "I know you already know this, Rena, but I think it's fair if Chien knows too"

"Fair that I know what?" His gaze moved between the two heroines before landing on the black cat hero, silently begging for answers, to which Noir returned with an unconvincing shrug.

"That you know this. Tikki, spots off!" A blinding red light filled the narrow corner they were in, Rena shut one of her eyes while Chien shut both, Noir was shielded from the light thanks to his hoodie. Then, a certain Marinette Dupain-Cheng stood where the spotted heroine once was.

"Wh- Bu- How-" Chien spluttered as his brain combusted with all the information that was flowing through it at once. Marinette giggled at his confusion, Rena full on laughed, clutching her stomach while Noir merely smirked. "But, but I saw you standing next to Ladybug! Wait no, yourself? My brain is melting! Wait, you two knew?!" The dog-themed hero screeched.

"She's my best friend" Rena shrugged with an innocent expression, her transformation dropped. Chien stared in shock.

"She's my girlfriend" Noir mimicked Rena Rounge's shrug while letting his transformation fall too, leaving Chien the only one transformed.

"Okay THAT makes sense, you're both deathly attr- Wait, did you say best fRIEND?!" Chien shrieked and detransformed.

"ADRIEN?!" Alya exclaimed, Marinette and Damian watched in amusement.

"As entertaining as this is-" The green-eyed boy cut in before the pair would attract unwanted attention. "-Marinette needs to explain the reason why she revealed her identity to you"

The bluenette nodded. "You see early today, at school, I had this 'miraculous burn' I guess you could say from Guerrier's attack. Thanks to Alya I'm feeling better but that resulted in getting my identity revealed. So to avoid anymore incidents like that, I also told you Adrien. I can't tell the rest of the team yet as I don't want them to go all protective over me, you'll three will have enough overprotectiveness"

"Not wrong there, girl" Alya said without shame.

"I know I have to tell them my true identity at some point but right now it's better just to have you three know."

"We understand" Alya and Adrien said in unison.

"Great, now let's go back to the others so we can tell them patrol is over"

~~~

It was sunset, the orange cotton clouds contrasted beautifully with the darkening blue sky. A cool wind blew through the air, cold enough to make one shiver but not enough to catch a cold. Walking hand in hand, a couple made their way to Le Grand Paris. The bluenette looked up to the noirette next to her, leaning onto his arm covered by the Robin-themed hoodie and smiling while doing so, she closed her eyes to savor the moment.

"Angel?" Damian brushed the stray hairs on her face as she pulled away to look at him properly.

"You know, I'm really going to miss this" Marinette raised their conjoined hands as they approached the hotel doors.

He hummed and in response, put his arm around her waist to pull her closer while going through the elevator doors. "I am too"

They soon reached the hotel room, the kwamis roaming around for food once they got inside. Food in hand, Tikki and Plagg sat of the coffee table, leaning on one another as Damian turned on the screen to watch a movie. Once he was comfortably seated, Marinette joined him, snuggling into his side. He brushed his fingers through her silky midnight hair. He was going to miss this, deeply. What would life be like going back, without the beautiful bluenette physically next to him?

'I do not want to find out'

———

Provisional Cessation, It was created for the purpose of temporarily stopping a miraculous from being used if any harm were to come to the user. It would also deem it unusable for a certain period of time if the miraculous were ever come into the wrong hands. The reason Master Fu didn't tell Marinette this information was because the last time a user tried this power up, they were put into a magical induced coma, it was too risky.

———

Taglist:@little-bluestar,@miracleofadisaster,@frieddonutsweets,@jjmjjktth,@genderfluidmoma,@starlit-dreaming,@icerosecrystal,@lolieg,@kashlyn,@mochegato,@eggadoodle,@walkingthroughonautopilot,@toodaloo-kangaroo,@lady-bee-fechin,@weebjai1

#daminette #damian x marinette #marinette x damian #maribat #maridami #mlb x dc #ml x dc #damianette

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gloomybabygirl · 4 years ago

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{in my head pt.2} Poe Dameron x smuggler!reader (soulmate au)

series masterlist

last part * next part

a/n: hi everyone! I can’t thank you enough for all the love on the first part of the series!! I was actually super nervous to post it and had my friends beta read it an unhealthy amount of times, so the feedback I’ve gotten has been wonderful :) p.s. the series tag list is open, send an ask or message if you want to be tagged for the rest!

warnings: alcohol consumption, soulmate trope, poe not clearing his throat, cliffhanger, I haven’t proofread this yet

timeline: I never established this so here we go! this is set between force awakens and last Jedi! so we’re still on D’Qar ladies, gents, and nb friends. however Miss Rey has not yet traveled to see Uncle Luke

word count: 4k oops

songs used: mr. loverman - Ricky Montgomery & the chain - Fleetwood Mac (kinda? I just listened there's no singing in this part lol)

summary: you and Poe spend some time bonding, you go on your first mission

You loved being apart of the Resistance. Waking up on D’Qar every morning was a blessing in your eyes. You had a purpose here. You’d never stayed on one planet for so long. Being on the run was your norm for the majority of your life. It was too dangerous for you to stay on one planet for too long (or stay in one region for that matter). The humid Jungle was the closest thing you’d had to a permanent home since you were a child.

That is, D’Qar was the closet thing to a physical home you’d had in years. There was one person that had no trouble making you feel at home. You could be stuck in carbonite on a bounty hunters ship and hearing your soulmate’s voice wold make you feel safe. His sweet song felt like coming home to the warm embrace of a lover.

But you hadn’t heard it in weeks. And it was starting to worry you. There had always been that nagging voice in the back of your mind telling you that he’d found someone else. But now that voice was trying to convince you of something much worse. You don’t know what you’d do if you’d spent all this time waiting for your person only to find out that something awful had happened to him.

You’d rather find out he already belonged to someone else.

You did your best to push the dark thoughts away, locking them in a box in the back of your mind. You couldn’t let yourself linger on the idea of him being dead or it would drive you insane.

There were three people that did a magnificent job of keeping your mind off of all the negative thoughts. On days when it felt like the weight of the war was resting solely on your shoulders, your friends were the ones who could help you bear it. They were always there for a joke or a long talk, if that's what you needed. Of course you were there for them as well. It was the first time you’d allowed yourself to have people in your life that could rely on you.

Days like today were your favorite. The weather was finally starting to cool down on the swampy planet, making the outside air somewhat tolerable. Everyone you loved was on base, safe and accounted for after a successful mission. Every time one of them left the base you felt as though you were holding your breath until they came back. But now, in Poe's small quarters with Rey and Finn, you felt the air return to your grateful lungs. Poe had devised a plan to hit up Maz’s on the way back from the mission and snagged a few bottles of jet juice, which you and the rest of the gang were all happily draining in his quarters. The alcohol was just beginning to burn in your stomach and your head was the slightest bit fuzzy. You took your time soaking in the scene of your found family spread out on the cold permacrete of Poe’s room.

Finn’s boisterous laugh rang out as his best friend finished telling every one about his adventure and a half to get the jet juice. Finn was especially fond of the tangy, red alcohol and was on drink number four down the hatch.

“Only you, Dameron,” Rey laughed to herself, gently taking the half full bottle out of Finn’s hands. His face of protest caused another round of laughter to erupt around the small room. He looked like a child that was denied a sweet by their parent.

Finn fell back against the permacrete, his head making an awful hollow sound as it hit the ground. He didn't seem to feel it and decided the floor was his new best friend for the night. Rey got up from her position against the wall and began to pick up the empty bottles scattered around the room.

“Looks like the jet juice served it’s purpose,” you commented, nudging Poe in the side with your elbow. Finn was now curling into the fetal position, trying to use a rug as a blanket.

You had your legs resting over Poe’s strong thighs. He patted the side of your leg where his hand had been resting, carefully moving your legs off of him. “I better help him back to his room. Someone has to make sure he doesn’t end up running naked through the tarmac trying to fly an X-Wing,” Poe said.

“I’d should head back to my quarters too,” you stood up to put your boots on, but Poe stopped you.

“Actually, do you think you could wait here till I get back? I have something I want to give you,” Poe winked at you, helping Rey tug their friend to his feet.

You couldn't help the way your heart sped up at his words. And you definitely didn't miss the eyebrow raise Rey shot you from the door.

“Yeah, I’ll just hang with BB-8 till you get back.”

A low voice bellowed out from the door, “OOOOH HE GOT YOU A PRESENT! How romantic,” Finn was apparently trying to wake up the entire base with the way his voice was booming off the walls. You were sure he hadn't meant for that to come out so loud. Or to come out at all.

Everyone went silent. You and Poe pointedly looked away from each other. His cheeks flamed red. You pretended to be preoccupied with the frayed laces on your Resistance issued boots.

Rey looked between the two of you and then broke the awkward silence with: “Aaanyway, let’s get you to bed Peanut!” She sounded too cheerful, trying to reduce the awkward energy that hung in the room. Being force sensitive you could only imagine how she was perceiving the situation. She and Poe hauled their inebriated friend out into the hall, desperately trying to shush him as he was now singing. You hoped his poor soulmate wasn't trying to sleep.

Finn clapped Poe on the back hard when they finally got into the drunk man’s room. Rey had helped Poe get Finn to his quarters but had dipped when Finn requested to be helped into his pajamas. They were close, but not ‘undressing one another’ close. Poe was itching to get back to his room and see you again, but he helped his buddy none the less.

Finn was finally laying in bed when Poe turned to leave.

“Are you okay?”

Poe hesitated, then turned on his heel. “Yeah?” he furrowed his brow at the unexpected question, “Why?”

“You haven’t been singing.” Finn was suddenly serious.

Poe’s face softened when he realized what Finn was so concerned about.

And he was right, Poe hadn’t been singing. It wasn't hard to miss, everyone on base noticed. The man who used to use every spare moment to sing to his soulmate had gone quiet. People actually missed hearing his voice all the time. Echoing through the halls of the base or out on the tarmac mixing with the whine of X-Wings taking off and landing. Finn wasn’t the only person worried about Black Leader. Leia had even mentioned something to her surrogate son a few days back. She enjoyed his singing more than anyone. She said it was a sparkle of hope during a dark time.

But the truth was, Poe didn't feel like singing. Guilt was the main thing keeping him from inflicting his voice on people whenever he could. How could he sing to his soulmate when he was fighting off feelings for someone else? He was doing everything in his power to stop you from being at the forefront of his mind all the time, but it was hard when your smile was his favorite thing to occupy his mind with.

“I miss my lover, man.”

He did. He missed his soulmate, whoever they were. He missed randomly hearing their soft voice humming through his mind. He missed the way he felt when he would sing to them. It was the closest thing he had to actually being with them, talking to them. He missed that he used to long for them. Lately that unconditional, blind love was being clouded by someone else. You.

“Tell me more stories about your Dad.” You were sitting cross-legged on the floor across from where BB-8 was nestled in his charging station. He had been beeping and booping at you for the last half and hour as you waited for his father to return.

The droid animatedly jumped into another anecdote about a recent mission he had gone on with his favorite person. He rattled around in his charging station, whirling his head around and beeping rapidly at you.

“He did what?!” you asked the little orange droid as the blast doors flew open, revealing the man in question. You turned to face Poe, mouth still agape at the droids admission to you.

“Who did what?” Poe asked confused, walking into the room. The droid then decided he was done charging and rolled over to Poe for scritches. Poe kneeled down and gave his favorite little guy some love, looking at you for an answer. He laughed at the way you had your arms crossed and were giving him the same look Leia gave him when she found out he’d gotten into a dog fight.

BB-8 beeped adamantly at him.

“Maker, Beebs, you told her about that?” He glanced nervously at you, only to find you were now trying to suppress a laugh. He was soothed by that damned smile that was burned into his mind.

“Unfortunately for you, I can understand BB’s binary perfectly. Now I know why you have to work on your ship so often,” you teased. “You’re not exactly tender with her.” You were trying to keep up your facade of being angry with him for being reckless. You were failing, your smirk giving you away.

Why did the fact that you understood BB-8 give him heart palpitations? His droid was absolutely going to get him into trouble with you one day. Apparently he can’t be expected to keep secrets.

Poe ignored your jab and walked over to sit behind you.

��Close your eyes,” he demanded softly.

“No, I don’t trust you. What kind of weird creature are you about to put on me?” you asked, twisting your torso to see him.

He cocked his head at you, “Would you just have a little faith in me? I have something special for you.” He laughed. You narrowed your eyes at him but closed you eyes and turned around anyway, your smile growing bigger every second.

“Besides, if I was going to put a creature on you, I’d do it on front of more people,” he taunted.

You laughed humorlessly at him, “Always the attention whore.” You heard him playfully shush you.

Poe took a deep breath, silently grateful that you couldn't see the way his hands were trembling. He reached up and removed the silver chain from around his neck for the first time in years. He then carefully slipped it over your head and watched from over your shoulder as his mothers ring came to rest at your sternum.

Deep breath. “Open.”

You immediately turned toward him, a look of shock on your face.

“Poe what is this?” you asked, alarmed by the ring resting delicately on your collar bone.

Poe's warm eyes held so much softness in them, you thought you would bust into tears right then. You turned to face him fully, confused as to why he just put this piece of jewelry around your neck.

“A good luck charm,” he whispered, admiring the way it looked on you.

“Is this the chain you wear every day?”

He nodded, still giving you that look that made you feel like the only person in the universe.

“Then what's this ring?” The bottom of the silver chain was always dipped below his collar, if the ring had always been there, you’d never seen it.

“It was my mother’s wedding ring. I wear it every day, take it on every mission, even sleep with it on. One day I’ll give it to my soulmate when I ask them to marry me, but for now it serves as a good luck charm for me,” He explained with a sad edge to his voice.

You had become close with Poe Dameron in the last few months. While a large portion of that time was spent with Finn and Rey, you also had spent a few late nights just the two of you. He had a knack for making you laugh and you would often stay in his quarters long after the others had retired. Deeper conversations were far and few between, the two of you preferring to spend your time together in a fit of hysterics. It was strange to see this man so serious. There was no twinkle of mischief in his eyes tonight.

You suddenly felt suffocated by him. His face was a mere few inches away from yours and you could feel his cool breath fanning across your face. His large hands rested on your knees, giving you a light squeeze and snapping you out of your haze.

“Poe are you sure you want to give this to me? I can't imagine how important it must be to you.” You reached up and stroked the smooth metal.

“It’s the most important thing in the word to me. But I want you to have it for your first mission. Since I’m not going with you to help you when you accidentally shoot yourself in the foot, I want you to have a piece of me there with you. And what better to give you than my good luck charm?”

You felt your tears spill over, streaking hot and wet down your face at the sincerity in his voice. You couldn't believe he wanted you to have this piece of him with you. He was becoming one of the most important people in your life, and him sharing something so special with you meant the world.

You were going down a slippery slope. If you weren't careful, you could fall in love with this man so easily.

“Poe, thank you. I don't know what to say,” you reached forward, pulling him into a tight hug. You nuzzled into his neck, letting the scent of leather and engine oil envelop you. He reached one arm securely around your waist and brought the other up to gently cup the back of your head. He took a deep breath in without meaning to, overwhelming his senses with you. He didn't want to pull away and had to hide his disappointment when you did. You kept your hands on his shoulders, squeezing slightly.

“I promise I’ll bring it back safely so you can give it to your soulmate one day.”

The next few days were a whirl wind of meetings, briefings, more meetings, caf breaks, and did you mention meetings? You spent more time in the command room with your team than you did anywhere else. You forgot life existed outside the confines of the dirt walls.

But you were ecstatic that Leia trusted you with such an important mission so soon after joining the Resistance. Plus you couldn’t be more grateful for the people that were joining you for this mission.

Finn was excellent for morale and a very smart man when he needed to be, unless of course he had jet juice in his system. Miss. Force-User Rey was always a good person to have on a mission. You brought a sense of craftiness to the crew, thanks to your smuggler skills. And Chewbacca was the only one (besides Poe) that Leia trusted to pilot the Falcon. Plus, he had a soft spot for smugglers, making you a new favorite of his.

The one person you wished you could add to this team was Poe. His pilot skills would have been a great help to Chewie, he was talented with a blaster, and he was easy on the eyes. But he had a more important solo mission with BB-8 that Leia needed him on. He didn't make himself completely scarce though. He often came in and out of the Command Center, having his own mission to plan with Admiral Akbar. He made a point of bringing you caf every time too, he knew exactly how you liked it.

You were terrified for your first mission as it was, but not having Poe there made everything ten times more dangerous in your eyes.

The ring he had let you borrow was becoming a source of comfort. Whenever you got anxious about the mission you found yourself fiddling with it. The smooth metal was slightly worn in one spot on the band and you ran your fingers over it repeatedly to calm yourself. Something you caught yourself doing unconsciously on a number of occasions.

The plan was simple. The Resistance had gotten word of an ex First Order official on the planet Ryloth, less than a parsec away from Tatooine. You and the rest of the crew were to go there and see what information the old Commander could offer you. Simple. But that didn’t stop you from needing to cover all your bases. Every single thing that could have possibly gone wrong had an escape plan to coincide. You were as prepared as you could be.

Your favorite part of the plan was your mode of transportation. As an ex-smuggler, you’d admired the Millennium Falcon and it's pilot for years. You’d heard every story surrounding Han Solo and his old piece of junk. Seeing it in person, let alone flying on it was something you’d never thought would be possible. But here you were, boarding the infamous ship.

Finn and Rey brushed passed you, Rey laughing at the look of awe on your face as you were frozen in the doorway, the ramp hitting you on the ass as it closed.

You took your time walking around the hull of the Falcon. Taking a moment just to think about the adventures she’d been on, the places she’d seen. You laughed fondly to yourself as you remembered your favorite story. You reached out and placed a hand tentatively on the wall of the old ship. “So this is the ship that made the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs?” you called out to your friends.

“Twelve,” Finn and Rey chorused from the cockpit, mixed with the indignant cry of your favorite Wookie.

“Okay, twelve! Sorry, sorry,” you laughed and joined your friends in the cockpit.

Poe was exhilarated every time he was in the air. There was nothing in the world that gave him the same feeling. This man was more comfortable in a cockpit than he was on his own two feet. If it were up to him, he’d never come down.

But there was someone pulling him back to solid ground, like a magnet. Someone he couldn’t stop thinking about no matter how badly he wanted to exile them from his mind. He couldn't ignore your gravitational pull. He hadn't seen you in several days, you having returned from your mission two days prior. His mission was a success and he couldn't wait to tell you all about it. Leaving out the dangerous details that BB-8 was sure to fill you in on later.

He was nervous to hear about how your mission went. It was a simple enough task, but he couldn't help but worry about you. He hoped his good luck charm was as comforting to you as it had been to him these last few years. He felt naked without it, this having been the first mission he hadn't taken it on. He found himself reaching up to stroke his finger across the band of the ring he had worn in from playing with it when he got nervous, but then remembering he'd given it to you. The idea that you were wearing a piece of him around the base made his heart leap in his chest.

He was practically giddy when he leaped down from his X-Wing, already rushing to find you.

Cool it Dameron, you have a soulmate waiting for you.

Plus, he had to see the General before anything. Was he so clouded by his need to see you that he forgot he was fighting a war?

A twinge of guilt hit him hard in the stomach, forcing him to take a deep breath and remind himself of the person looking for him somewhere in the universe. He let his feet take him down the familiar dirt path to the Command Center. The soft, damp earth caused his flight boots to sink slightly with each step.

He flooded his mind with images of what his future could be like with the person the galaxy had chosen for him. A small home on Yavin IV. Children he could teach how to fly the same way his mother taught him. A safe, quiet life with no threat of the First Order. No threats at all. He stored these images in the back of his mind for when he needed a glimmer of hope during the war. But lately he was using these daydreams as distractions from you.

He stepped into he large room where Leia was addressing General Akbar and a few other pilots that had also just returned from a mission.

When she caught sight of Poe her forehead created in confusion and she abruptly dismissed the debrief she was in the middle of with a wave of her hand. As they shuffled out of the room, several of them shot Poe sympathetic looks.

What the hell was going on?

“Commander Dameron, what are you doing here?” The General asked, walking over to him.

He hesitated, unsure as to why she was asking a question with an obvious answer, “I just landed from my mission, General. I’m here to debrief.”

Leia dropped the General persona and gently caressed the pilots face, running her thumb over the stubble she resented.

She had always been like a second mother to Poe, and he like a second son to her. Their relationship was something special and unique. Something she thanked the Force every day for. However, her unexpected shift from serious Resistance leader to caring mother made Poe nervous.

“I thought Finn or Rey would have been waiting on the tarmac to tell you.”

Now he was starting to panic. What was he missing? What happened?

“Come with me,” Leia softly implored, grabbing his calloused hand and yanking him out of the room. She tried to flood him with calm though the force connection she made with him, but his anxiety was too overbearing.

She continued explaining as she pulled him through the base, “The mission went south. There was no ex Order Commander on Ryloth. It was a set up. When they landed, there was a fleet of ‘Troopers waiting for them, ready to capture them and bring them back to the Finalizer for my son to interrogate.” She tried to keep her voice even for Poe's sake.

Poe was really panicking now, starting to pick up his speed. He squeezed Leia’s hand, begging her to continue.

“They got out relatively unscathed. Chewie stayed on the Falcon so they were able to get away quickly. But Poe,” she stopped in her tracks, jerking Poe back to a halt. She looked him in the eyes, worried for what his reaction to her news would be.

“Poe, the new recruit was badly hurt. They were shot in the side with a blaster and lost a lot of blood. They’ve been in the medbey unconscious for two days, but they’ll be okay,” she finished.

Poe wordlessly turned and broke out into a run towards the medbay. Leia watched him go, knowing he needed to see you more than anything in that moment. She had felt a connection between you and Poe. She knew he wanted to wait for his soulmate, but she also knew that finding them was not likely. Part of her wished he would give in and let himself fall in love with you. Soulmate or not, she wanted him to be happy.

#poe x reader #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron fic #poe dameron one shot #poe dameron x reader #star wars imagine #in my head

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the-bjd-community-confess · 3 years ago

Text

More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #BJD Dealers

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bellakitse · 5 years ago

Note

Hey! Idk if you’re taking prompts but if you’re up to it I have a request :) TK and Carlos have a bad fight one morning and they go to work mad at each other and throughout the day they realize it was a stupid fight but they’re both trying to give the other some space. Carlos gets caught up working till late at night and when he gets home TK is asleep on the couch waiting. they make up and it’s very soft and it involves lots of fluff. I just realized this is really specific lol sorry

Stumbling a Step

A fight with Carlos leaves TK in a foul mood. Judd sets him straight.

30 days of Tarlos - Day 12

The drive to work is quiet, out of the corner of his eye he sees Carlos grip the steering wheel a little harder as the car comes to a stop in front of the firehouse.

“I have a long shift today,” he says, his tone stiff. “I won’t be home until after midnight.”

TK looks over at his boyfriend; it’s the first thing Carlos has said since their shout out the night before.

They’d gone to bed in absolute silence; for the first time since they got together, they didn’t sleep wrapped in each other’s arms. Instead, they had slept with their backs facing the other. It has to be the worst sleep TK has had in the year since dating Carlos.

“I think I’m going to go to my dad’s tonight,” he tells him, watching as Carlos’ jaw clenches in return.

“If that’s what you want,” is all Carlos says, not meeting his eyes as he stares forward at his windshield.

TK opens his mouth only to close it again. He doesn’t know what he wants to say, the silence between them makes him feel antsy and awkward. Finally, with a frustrated sigh, he reaches for the door of the car, they’re not getting anywhere like this, and he has a shift to start.

“I’ll see you later,” he mumbles as he steps out of the car. He’s about to shut the door when Carlos’ soft ‘be safe’ reaches his ears, making his stomach twist. He watches Carlos pull away with a frown on his face and a dull ache under his ribcage.

Letting out another sigh, he looks up at the firehouse, feeling his mood sour by the second.

Today is going to be an absolute shit day.

֍֍֍

Unfortunately, his prediction proves to be 100% correct; his day has gone to hell in a handbasket.

With every call they get, his temper gets more and more stretched thin. Everyone on the team keeps giving him looks as his mood settles over the rest of them like a dark cloud.

They come back from their fourth call of the day, a small house fire they easily control. It shouldn’t have been a problem except for the way he keeps barking at everyone. Mateo takes the worst of it when the poor kid asks him if he’s okay. He snaps at him that he should mind his own business, startling the other guy back. Since then, no one utters a word on the ride back to the firehouse.

He jumps out of the truck before it’s completely come to a stop, his father sends him a look, but he ignores it as he heads up the stairs. If he wants to reprimand him, he’s going to have to do it as his Captain and not his father. For now, all he wants is to be alone before he says something else to one of his friends he can’t take back.

He hides in the dorm room alone; his mood is so foul even Buttercup takes one look at him and turns tail. Checking his phone, he tries to ignore the way his heart aches at the lack of texts from Carlos. It’s been seven hours since Carlos dropped him off and not a single message, it’s something he’s not used to.

He braces himself when he hears footsteps getting closer until they’re inside the dorms with him. He hears a throat clear and knows instantly who’s decided to brave his temper.

“Look, I don’t know what crawled up your ass and died today,” Judd starts, standing next to his bed, his expression is as no-nonsense as his words as he stares him down. “But your mood is putting everyone on edge. You almost made Mateo cry when you yelled at him, which pissed Marjan off. Paul is trying to cheer up Mateo and calm down Marjan with food.”

TK looks up at him silently, feeling more miserable than before, guilt mixing with the frustration he’s been feeling all day. He doesn’t know what his expression is telling Judd, but he hears the older man let out a sigh.

He watches as Judd rolls his shoulders once awkwardly before sitting down on the bed next to him.

“The captain isn’t too happy with you right now either,” Judd continues, his expression softening from annoyance to worry. “But I told him I would talk to you instead, might make it easier. So, you want to tell me what’s going on?”

TK debates staying quiet for a moment, to let all the negative feelings inside fester until they make his stomach ache.

“Come on, brother,” Judd urges him softly. “Talk to me; this isn’t like you.”

TK feels his eyes sting at the concern he hears in Judd’s voice, even though he’s been a horror all day.

“Carlos and I got into a fight last night,” he starts, licking at his dry lips, saying the words out loud makes his heart twist. Judd gives him a surprised look that makes TK chuckle humorlessly. His friend’s surprise is understandable; he and Carlos never fight. Everyone that knows them likes to make fun of how sweet they are on each other.

“What was the fight about?” Judd asks curiously, as TK tenses.

“He –,” TK starts only to stop, he exhales, shaking his head. Taking another breath, he starts to talk. He tells Judd about the romantic dinner Carlos had ready when he arrived at his place, everything wonderful as always until he asked him one simple question.

Judd looks at him long and hard, the disbelieving look on his face putting him on the defensive.

“What?” he asks sharply.

Judd raises an eyebrow at him. “I’m just trying to understand how Carlos asking you to move in with him started a fight.”

“Look, he just – “ he stumbles.

“I mean you’re already living with him,” Judd talks over him. “This is just making it official.”

TK feels his heart jump at Judd’s words; he tries to ignore how close they are to what he’s been thinking all day. “I’m not already living with him,” he argues, annoyed when Judd rolls his eyes in response.

“When was the last time you didn’t sleep at his place if you weren’t here?” Judd questions, not waiting for an answer before he’s asking another. “Or the last time you even when to your dad’s place that wasn’t just to check up on him and pick up some clothes before heading back to Carlos’?”

TK opens his mouth to argue some more, even though he knows there is nothing he can say, he knows Judd is right. Instead, he bites down hard on his lip.

Judd, in turn, looks at him with concern. “What’s going on, TK, for real?”

“I freaked out,” he says quietly, knowing it’s true now as it was true last night. Carlos had asked him to move in, the next logical step in their relationship, and it had filled TK with absolute fear. He tries to explain, to make Judd understand.

“I have been in love before,” he starts, swallowing hard as he remembers Alex and their failed relationship. “I thought we were going to be together forever, so I took the next step in our relationship in it blew up in my face,” he tells his friend, feeling the old ache. “It almost cost me my life when it ended. I love Carlos so much more than I ever loved Alex. What if I take this step, and then he leaves me too, I don’t know how I would survive that.”

Judd looks at him for a moment, and then without saying anything, pulls him towards his chest into a strong hug.

TK goes willingly, the stress of the last 24-hours coming to a breaking point as he clings to his friend.

“Shit, kid,” Judd swears softly into his hair. “It’s going to be different this time.”

“How do you know that?” he asks desperately.

Judd pulls back from the hug, making sure he looks at him. “Well, for one, Carlos is as in love with you as you are with him. I don’t know that cheating asshole ex of yours, but I know he didn’t love you like Carlos, which makes him an idiot on top of being an asshole.”

TK chuckles softly at the gruff man’s strong words.

“And two, on the off chance that I’m wrong and it doesn’t work out between you and Carlos, which I’ll eat my cowboy hat if that ever happens. You have us, your dad, and your team. You would survive because we would make sure you do,” Judd says firmly, his eyes a little wet as he looks at him. “The day we became brothers, you became my responsibility, I would make sure you survive it, okay?”

TK’s eyes burn from unshed tears as he gives Judd a wobbly nod. The weight he’s been carrying over his heart slightly lifting.

“I fucked up, didn’t I?” he questions, already knowing the answer.

Judd shrugs it off. “Carlos will forgive you, he’s crazy about you, and the team will forgive you too, you’re our loveable brat.”

“Thanks, Judd,” he says dryly, rolling his eyes even as he smiles his first smile of the day.

Judd gives one back to him, crooked and amused. “What are brothers for, man.”

֍֍֍

TK apologizes to his team for his behavior before he leaves for the day, like Judd predicted they forgive and tease him until he knows everything is okay between them. He leaves the firehouse feeling lighter but knows there is still one person he needs to make things right with.

Getting to Carlos’ apartment a quarter after ten, he lets himself in with his keys, shaking his head at himself. Judd was right about yet another thing, he and Carlos have been living together for months now, it just hasn’t been official.

He showers and changes into a pair of ratty sweats and one of Carlos’ oldest APD shirts, before going back to the couch. With the TV on, he lays back and waits, as his eyes grow heavy his last thought before he falls asleep is Carlos.

He wakes up to a hand cupping his cheek gently, opening his eyes, he finds warm brown eyes looking back at him softly.

“Hi, baby,” Carlos whispers to him with affection, and TK can’t help the choked sob that escapes his throat.

He wraps his arms around Carlos, tucking his face into the crook of his neck. Vaguely he feels himself be picked up and moved until he finds himself sitting on Carlos’ lap as he holds him to his chest, running his hand up and down his back as he waits for him to calm down.

A few minutes pass before he’s able to lift his head and look at Carlos. The love and worry in his eyes make TK feel both relieved and awful, especially when he takes in the dark circles under Carlos’ eyes, proof that he didn’t get much sleep either.

“I’m sorry,” he starts. It makes Carlos shake his head.

“No, I’m sorry,” he says back. “I shouldn’t have rushed you.”

TK huffs, rolling his eyes at the comment. “You didn’t, you and I both know you didn’t. We already live together, Carlos, you just wanted to make it official. It scared me, and I picked a fight, I was awful last night, and you didn’t deserve that,” he whispers, looking away in shame.

He feels Carlos’ fingers under his chin, lifting his head gently until he’s looking into his eyes again.

“What scared you, Ty?” Carlos asks him calmly.

TK takes a breath to steady his racing heart. He tells Carlos everything he told Judd. Every fear inside him pouring out until there is nothing left. When he’s done, he finds Carlos giving him a lovingly tender look.

“Oh, baby,” he sighs, pressing him back against his chest, holding him close. He feels Carlos’ lips against his temple. “You don’t ever have to worry about me leaving you.”

“You can’t promise that,” he whispers, hating how small his voice sounds.

Carlos moves back to look at him. “You’re right. I can’t promise you that,” he says seriously. “I have a dangerous job. I might not come home one day.”

TK closes his eyes for a moment at the words, his heart squeezing painfully tight.

“But willingly, Tyler?” Carlos continues, making sure his eyes are on him. “I can promise that with certainty. I will never leave you willingly.”

“Carlos – “ TK barely gets out, stifling down a sob.

“I am so in love with you, Tyler Kennedy,” Carlos tells him sternly. “Every molecule that makes me, me, is in love with you.”

Carlos cups his cheek, his thumb wiping away at a tear that rolls down his face. “I was made to love you with every part of me. I’ll never leave you.”

TK can’t stop his crying now; he shakes as Carlos holds him through it, all the while whispering in his ear how much he loves him.

When he’s finally calmed down enough to speak, he pulls back to look at Carlos. “I love you the same way,” he says softly.

Carlos smiles at him as he wipes away at his blotchy face. “I know that, baby, I know.”

“Ask me again?” he asks hopefully.

Carlos chuckles, the smile on his face bright and joyful. “TK Strand, will you move in with me?”

TK smiles back as he lets go of his fear, an all-consuming happiness replacing it. “Yes.”

#911 lone star #tarlos #tarlos fic #911 lone star fic #30 days of tarlos #tk x carlos #my writing #anon #ask #Anonymous

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starside-selfships · 4 years ago

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Homecoming

Tonight was certainly not in my favor for the most part. To bring you up to speed, it was homecoming night for my younger brother, along with his friends, and I was an unpaid chauffeur for them. Whether I said yes or no to my mom, which the latter would result in a scolding, I would still be driving, whether I liked it or not. I had plans to meet up with someone tonight and now, unfortunately, I had to cancel those plans. Wonderful. So much for treating myself. Saying yes to avoid any conflict between my mother and I, I was driving my brother and his group of boys and girls, one of them most likely his significant other, to the nearby high school, the same one where I graduated from, but I don’t think any of that really mattered. Sure, there were going to be people there that recognized me, but it’s not like I planned on going inside to dance or mingle. Don’t get me wrong, I was gussied up for the occasion, but with how tonight was already progressing, going inside to try and get into the groove was not on my agenda. Little did I know that I was going to be completely wrong.

We were nearing the school as I was in the driver’s seat and I focused on the road as best I could, overhearing the conversation in the back amongst the group of seniors about how my brother was probably going to get laid or something, followed by a roar of laughter. While he was of age, as am I, I didn’t think I would be hit with a strong dose of discomfort hearing those words coming out of their mouths. Yeah, they were in high school so it made sense for them to say stuff like that. Already I began to question this night before my thoughts started to shift towards a particular someone that made my smile return after it had been gone for hours. A demon, or imp rather, down in hell that no one knew, except for a few of my closest friends who I knew could definitely keep a secret, had my heart and more. My smile remained small, but it was genuine, a chuckle eliciting from me as I continued to drive and within seconds of starting to think about him, I noticed my phone vibrating in the front passenger seat out of the corner of my eye. Look, I am, and I quote from one of my favorite content creators, a “good fucking citizen” and I would never risk my life or others because of a single text message. However, this wasn’t a single text. Whoever was trying to reach me was literally trying to nuke my phone for I counted the vibrations from listening closely to them. I didn’t bother picking up my phone so I just counted. 1...2...3...4...5...not even five minutes and I’ve somehow counted 23 and rising text messages being sent to my phone. Was it that urgent or was someone just spamming me with nonsense because I can’t remember the last time I was spammed like that and my memory is on point, not to brag or anything.

Upon pulling into one of the many parking lots of the high school, my brother and his friends began unbuckling themselves from their seats and after setting the SUV into “park”, they all got out one by one, on both sides, putting on their masks. I forgot to mention that this homecoming had a theme, which was “Monster Mash”, so zombies, mummies, your usual batch of monsters from all types of media of course, along with the special monsters that only one or two people only knew and were ready to discuss and talk about at a moment’s notice. As much as I wanted to sit in the car, I knew I was going to have to go in at some point, so earlier today, I decided I was going as a werewolf, picking up a fitting mask from the city’s costume store, but instead of just having a mask and calling it a day, it evolved into something more homemade. I spent several extra hours turning my tux into a more fitting and lycanthrope-themed outfit, dark fur lining the edges and front of my suit, outfitting myself with wolf ears and covering my face in blood to represent claw marks. Thankfully, I remembered that I had an old wolf tail, cleaning it up and hoping that the appearance was pleasing to the eye in some way and to my surprise, it certainly was. Not like anyone was going to care honestly, but you know, what’s wrong with a little bit of effort, even if no one’s going to notice?

“You’re not coming?” My brother questioned as he reached for his mask and was about to head inside with the others, earning a shake of my head as a response.

“We’ll see, you go have fun, okay?” I said, seeing him run off back to this squad and closing the car door as I rested my head on the back of my seat and sigh heavily. Finally, no one could hear or see me cry, the lights on the inside roof of the car beginning to slowly dim, shutting off completely and leaving me in darkness. “Fuck.” I whispered, trying not to choke on my tears thanks to the numerous thoughts clouding my head, many of them were memories of my high school days and how they all just generally sucked. I’m going to spare you of the details, but in short, I was a teacher’s pet who did good, had good grades, and tried so hard not to get caught up in a relationship since, well, at the time I wasn’t into anyone and nor was anyone into me. Looking back at it, I’ve never been hit with an intense pain in my life. But then, my thoughts were interrupted by another vibration. “Alright, who’s trying to nuke my phone?” I told myself as I reached over and grabbed my phone in frustration, turning the screen on and discovering that the imp himself had been sending me a flood of messages, alongside his employees, including the hellhound. “Wait, what?” I was stunned, why was I getting all these messages from I.M.P? Unlocking my phone and going through the wave of texts and images, most of them being from Blitzo, I checked the ones belonging to Millie, Loona, and Moxxie first, working my way up from there.

Millie “Hey Eli!” “Just wanted to say that I hope tonight is great for you and Blitzo!” “He has a really big surprise for you!” “Have fun you two!”

Loona “Elijah” “Heard ya weren’t feeling great” “Shit sucks but Blitz has a surprise for you later tonight” “Ain’t saying shit, but I hope you have fun” “You deserve it, alright?”

Moxxie “Dear Elijah, I certainly hope your night is swell. I overheard from my boss that it wasn’t going as planned and not to spoil anything, but he has a surprise for you later tonight. Have fun!” “p. s it’ll be a nice break from him interfering with my relationship with Millie.”

And now, all that there was left to check was Blitzo, I didn’t bother holding back my tears. Who was going to watch? Most of his texts were pictures of him looking for an outfit, getting help from a smiling Millie, annoyed Moxxie, and a Loona who looked like she didn’t really care. That’s what the realization hit me soon after. I didn’t want to believe it, but I looked through every single text again and yeah, sure enough, it was real. The imp was my date. Blitzo was my homecoming date. Another text, the last one from Blitzo for the night it seemed, sounding ominous of course.

“See ya soon, Eli. XOXO”

My smile returned once again as I regained my thoughts, clearing my head and doing my best to ignore all the negative and previous ones that arrived earlier tonight, replacing all of them with one: the fact that the imp that nearly killed me by accident was my homecoming date. The two of us have talked and spent a lot of time together, but who would’ve thought that he would be the one I would fall for and make my better in a way like this? Yeah, I was into him the most out of everyone at I.M.P. Of course, Millie and Moxxie were married and Loona, I’ll be honest, she was someone who appeared that she wasn’t too keen on dating. Blitzo, on the other hand, ever since the two of us met with him pounced over my body with a double barrel shotgun aimed directly at my face, we’re never been closer. That story about how we met is a real doozy, but it’s certainly for another time.

After waiting a little longer, I finally left the vehicle and locked the doors, stuffing the keys in my pocket and trading it for my phone, holding the mask in my other hand, my body on fire at the constant, recurring thought that wasn’t leaving anytime soon, one that pushed all the others away, a splendid thought that was the only thing I could think of. Before I knew it, I was at the front doors of the school and I followed the couples and groups, most likely students, towards the gym, looking at my phone and expecting a text, but instead, just silence. I guess all I needed to do was wait for him, and that’s what I did as I was greeted with the sound of deep bass rumbling through my body thanks to the booming speakers, along with the bright spotlights that moved around at a rapid pace, mixed with multiple multicolored strobe lights. It was a party alright. With the song that was playing as well, it was a fitting one with the theme. And lost in this party, I assumed, was a neatly dressed imp waiting for me. I walked along the edge of the gym, avoiding the growing crowd of dancers and hoping to possibly run into Blitzo at some point, only to be stopped by, unsurprisingly, one of my high school teachers.

“Elijah, is that you? Hey kid, what brings you here?!” She asked, leaning against the wall with a drink, a red cup, yes a red cup, and wrapped in a mummy outfit, bandages covering her body, along with one eye while the other was perfectly visible.

“Just chaperoning for my brother and his friends.” I answered, which was half the truth, but how could I explain that I was waiting for my demonic plus one?

“For a chaperone, you fit in right with the crowd, nice outfit! Did you make it yourself?”

“Yeah, I did actually.”

“I always knew you were one of the more creative ones in the class and it shows, awesome job!” I found myself getting blushy rather quickly at her compliment, rubbing the back of my head as I continued the conversation and it soon turned into one where my heart began to race rapidly. “So, tell me, do you have a date?” I wanted to lie, but then again, I was unsure of Blitzo was my date, or even if I wanted to say he was to others, so I took a deep breath and tried to make up my mind quickly.

“Yeah, I do, he’s a bit late though, it might be a while before he gets here.”

“Who said I was late?” The imp said, grabbing ahold of my shoulder gently and wanting me to turn around so I did, my eyes meeting his and I could see that his were that wickedly bright yellow, with a hint of red in the middle. Sinister, but always a joy to look at. “Hey, cutie.” I was about to open my mouth to compliment his outfit, resembling Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas, from top to bottom, only for my teacher to butt in. This was going to be a joy.

“Oooooh, and who might this be, Elijah?! He must learn from the best because his costume’s amazing!” This was going to be a real interesting night. I was already contemplating on going back to the car.

“The name’s Blitzo, pronounced Blitz and the O is silent, also known as this handsome guy’s boyfriend.” He said, greeting himself to-

...HOLD UP, WAIT A MINUTE. Did he just say boyfriend? Was I hearing that correctly? I wasn’t crazy, right?

“The name’s Blitzo, the O is silent, also known as this handsome guy’s boyfriend.” He said, greeting himself to-wait a minute, did he just say boyfriend? Did I hear that correctly? I wasn’t crazy, right?

“Well, Blitzo, it was really nice to meet you. Elijah was, and still is, one of my best students, creative too, you’re a lucky one.”

“Oh, trust me,” He looked over at me, a look that read ‘I love you’, his eyes appearing as if he was going to cry, but his smile was wide. “I know.” He was being completely truthful with her and myself. Not a single word he said was a lie, at least that’s what I believed. Something told me that it was true, every single word was honest and straight from the heart. “Let’s go dance, yeah?” He said softly towards me, earning a soft nod in reply and so, the two of us made our way to the dance floor. I was so nervous to ask him a single question with a plentiful rushing through my head. “Shocked, huh? Don’t be, Elijah. I know the two of us have been together for some time and I may have heard from a little birdie that you were going to be helping out your brother for some dance.” I reminisced on when I remember talking about the homecoming dance and then it hit me.

“Damn it, Angel.”

“C’mon, you missed me. You’re glad she told me too.”

“Yeah, I did. But, like, didn’t you have some more important stuff, like work? And your horse to take care of?”

“Oh, don’t worry. Work’s slow and boring and Moxxie’s watching over her so, I’m free for the night! What better way to spend my night with my new boyfriend too?” He said, pressing his lips against my cheek and sending my heart sky high, my hand on his beginning to clench. “Easy cowboy, it was just a kiss. We haven’t even gotten to the good stuff, you know.” Okay, now he was just trying to get me flustered really early. We made jokes about that stuff, but was he being serious? About all of this?

“I was actually going to ask about that. Do you, like, you’re actually interested in me, right?” He stopped in his tracks and the two of us were halted together, surrounded by multiple dancing groups and couples, I could sense the music that was once pounding in my ears beginning to die out, soon Blitzo’s voice was the only thing I could hear. “All those times we’ve been together, from the day you were in my bed ready to kill me and only to discover you were in the wrong house to all those times we’ve spent in Hell and on the surface, to that one time you were actually full-on naked in my bed and I was nearly caught, you’re being honest with me, right?”

“Elijah,” Blitzo began, reaching for my other hand to hold it tight, gazing into my eyes and I soon lost myself in them, my focus and attention being grabbed and held by him and him alone. “I’m being one hundred percent honest with you. If I killed you, I would’ve missed a chance like this and, god fucking dammit, I’m trying not to cry here.”

“Trust me, I’ve already done that tonight, you’re good.” I joked, the two of us laughing as his claw-like hands gripped mine.

“But yeah, I’m serious. From the bottom of my heart, Elijah. No bullshit. I love you. Yeah, you’re a human and I nearly killed you, but that night I met you and nearly blew your brains out, was probably the fucking day of my whole eternal suffering, as they usually say. That’s, that’s what they say, right?” Hearing that filled my heart with an intense amount of joy and soon, I felt my worries wash away. Who would’ve thought that I would not only fall in love with a demon below the surface of this Earth, but an imp who was not only charming, but skilled at his profession? A professional that was basically assassination. Then again, he just straight up kills anyone he’s paid to kill alongside the other three. “You can cry all you want, okay?” I didn’t want to, especially in front of Blitzo.

“Oh, shut up. I love you too.” I said, earning a nice laugh from him. Moments later, the music shifted from the usual extremely bumping and loud beat into something more mellow, but you could still dance to. A song that people weren’t really a fan of, but for me, and surprisingly Blitzo, it was perfect. To my surprise, the imp knew the damn lyrics.

Oh, don’t you dare look back Just keep your eyes on me. I said, you’re holding back. He said, shut up and dance with me! This demon is my destiny. He said, ooh-ooh-hoo! Shut up and dance with me!

The two of us followed suit and already had the floor so who was gonna stop us? No one was certainly going to stop Blitzo and for me, I was already lost in the moment, I could only see Blitzo and I losing ourselves in the music together, singing and dancing along. No distractions or disturbances as we let loose. Unbeknownst to me, the crowd around us had cleared and it was just me and Blitzo dancing to the beat with a silent audience cheering on a human and his boyfriend, unaware that he was truly a demon. I didn’t care about any of that mess now, I was overjoyed to be dancing with my imp boyfriend under the moving spotlight, the two of us grabbing the attention of all the other costumed people standing by and watching us. It didn’t even feel like they were there.

Deep in his eyes I think I see the future I realize this is my last chance! He took my arm I don’t know how it happened We took the floor and he said…

Oh, don’t you dare look back Just keep your eyes on me I said, you’re holding back He said, shut up and dance with me This demon is my destiny He said, ooh-ooh-hoo! Shut up and dance!

The final chorus continued to play and the two of us were going at it, I could sense and hear quiet cheers and wolf whistles, yet Blitzo’s voice filled my ears and drowned it all out.

Ooh-hoo, shut up and dance with me!

And just like that, the music halted and the two of us were in a bit of a position, me dipping and holding his body down, our eyes locked onto each other, the crowd coming back to life with a roar of an applause. They witnessed everything and as much as I wanted to look around and see everyone, Blitzo kept my face looking directly at his. “Hey, don’t focus on them. It’s okay.” I smiled down at him and nodded, the music shifting back into something more exciting and full of life and sending the crowd’s back onto the floor.

“I didn’t know you were so good at dancing, Blitzo.” I said, complimenting him on his dancing and wondering where he picked that up, then again, it hit me that he’s been bugging a married couple for Satan knows how long, and he’s been on the surface a few times.

“You go around, you know some folks, you pick up some new things, learn a few tricks.” There was a small moment of silence. “Alright, I picked it up from Moxx and Mills.” I had a feeling. Right as I was about to say something while bringing back up onto his feet, I was the one to be dipped this time and caught off guard. “Now pucker up, cutie~” And with that, Blitzo kissed me sweetly and passionately, my vision getting blurry as my eyes fluttered and my heart was more soothed and relaxed. I will admit that Blitzo has kissed me on numerous occasions, but this was something he never pulled or did and it was immensely surprisingly and completely satisfying. I didn’t want to ruin the moment at all. In fact, I wanted to make it even better. So I decided to surprise Blitzo with something up my sleeve, slipping my tongue into his mouth and catching him off guard, only for our tongues to collide and intertwine with each other, his claws yanking and gripping me closer to his body, our lips still locked together for a good couple of seconds and right as we finally pulled away, there was an embarrassing amount of saliva attached to my lips and his, a dark blush hitting both our faces. “Well, that was, I wasn’t expecting you to do that.”

“Yeah, wasn’t expecting that kiss either, heh.” The silence between us was high but was soon broken with Blitzo speaking up again.

“Alright, I’m just gonna say it. I know you’re probably thinking it too, are you going to make love to me already or what?” My eyes widened in surprise, my body heating up in response and while I was expecting a lewd comment or question, he was just completely straightforward with it, no hints, or riddles, just straight from the head.

“C-Can we go to the car now, like, right now?” I asked, hoping he could sense the desperateness in my voice, along with the look of lust in my eyes. Yeah, he definitely saw it, without a doubt. That smile of his, how he licked his lips in front of me, shooting a sexy glare at me, tonight was going to be a ride, in more ways than one as Blitzo swiftly picked me up in his arms and carried me towards the car bridal-style, grabbing a few eyeballs as he did.

“Of course~” We soon made our way outside and Blitzo finally set me down, not even bothering to look around if there were any watchers who were late to the party, as if he were planning something.

“Something wrong?” He didn’t reply with a vocal answer, but instead, what came next was what made this entire night probably the best homecoming ever. I’m going to spare the details, but what came next was pretty saucy.

Sometime Later…

I found myself rising out of bed to the sight of several dimmed lights and within seconds, the awareness hit me hard. I wasn’t at home. I was in Blitzo’s home. “Morning, sleepyhead.” The imp to my side greeted, not wearing anything like me as I hid myself under the sheets. I half-expected him to be dressed in some cute horse-themed pjs, but no, he was full-on naked under the sheets, his legs touching mine.

“Hey, Blitzo. I, umm, should I ask how I got here?” I questioned, preparing myself for the story that Blitzo had to tell, this should be good.

“Before you ask, because I have a feeling that’s the first thing you’re thinking about, your brother and his friends are fine. They got home safely and then I brought you down here to rest!” Blitzo explained, my eyes widening in fear at the idea of what he could’ve possibly done.

“For the love of God, Blitzo, please tell me the car’s in one piece. Please tell me no one got hurt.” I begged, shaking in anticipation, and not even hearing the room door open as I turned to see Moxxie come in.

“Actually, I helped drive,” The other imp claimed. “Not to be rude towards your new boyfriend, Elijah, but I had a very strong feeling that if my boss were to drive, it wouldn’t be pleasant. That and he introduced himself and the rest of us to your brother and friends.” Blitzo, you did not. You did fucking not.

“What, they were nice!”

“Sir, excuse my language, but you fucking scared them!” When Moxxie said those words, I didn’t even want to imagine how he scared and possibly scared them for life.

“Oh my God, Blitzo, why…”

“Don’t worry about it, Eli, you’re lucky I didn’t tell them about our little love-making session.”

“Sir, that’s WAY too much information.”

I didn’t know how to feel exactly with my brother knowing about Blitzo and the others, but as the conversation between him and Moxxie continued, I couldn’t help but think about that night, what I experienced with Blitzo and the things we did together, how he confessed his love and then made love to me. It felt unreal to think about knowing that the imp I spent the most time with actually liked me that way. That’s when I smiled and felt really glad that night ended up being in my favor.

#star's notebook #otp: satisfied client #I LEFT OUT THE SMUT #I'LL SHARE THAT LATER #THERE IS SOME SUGGESTIVE STUFF BUT I WILL TAG IT AS #ns//ft #ALSO ITS A LONG ONE #WITH THE SMUT ITS LIKE 5K WORDS #I DIDN'T THINK I WROTE THAT MUCH BUT DAMN #I ALSO GOT A BIT EXCITED GOING THROUGH THIS AND PROOFREADING IT #THERE MAY BE A COUPLE OF ERRORS AND IM SORRY #blitzo #helluva boss #self ship fic

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deathonyourtongue · 5 years ago

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Winter Passing | Chapter 2

Summary: Injured and left for dead in the middle of a nowhere state, he traverses peaks and valleys for days without seeing any sign of civilization. Just as death’s icy fingers begin to coil around him, he finds a cabin in a clearing. Terrified from years of being told fairy tales and ghost stories, he nevertheless knocks on the door. When he wakes, he finds not a demon, but an angel, long removed from the insanity of the modern world. Pairing: Slightly AU!Henry Cavill x OC Word Count: 1.6K Warnings: None for this chapter A/N: As always, like if you want to be added to the tag list. Message me if you want to be removed.

@radaofrivia @crushed-pink-petals @henrycavillfanpage @kirasmomsstuff @bluestarego @redhairedmoiraandtheliferuiners @safiras @honeychicana @agniavateira @henryfanfics101 @fatefuldestinies @lifeofrileyp

Olivia did her best to keep from laughing at the man slumped in front of her hearth. His reaction to her home, and to her, was one for the record books. Most people who crossed onto her land were curious, some talkative to the point of being obnoxious and some too scared to even say more than a hello for fear she would put them in an oven or make them part of the house. She wasn’t sure why grown men and women still held onto childhood fairytale nonsense, but in the stranger’s case, with his expression as if he’d seen a ghost, his first words were icing on the cake, and Olivia had to cover her mouth to keep the noise from escaping.

When sobered enough to maintain a straight face, Olivia stepped into the living room and crouched down so she was eye-level with her patient. “Hi. I’m Olivia. You passed out on my porch. What’s your name?”

“H-Henry.” The man answered, his eyes still drooping from what Olivia could only suspect was a concussion. She’d have to task Gunnar with keeping him awake lest the fatigue take hold.

“Henry. From the old Germanic meaning ‘Home Ruler’.” Olivia murmured more to herself than to anyone else, swirling the name around in her mind as though it were a vintage wine. “Do you remember what day it is?” She asked, moving to sit cross-legged on the floor next to him, one hand extending tentatively out to check his head for any more bumps now that he was sitting up somewhat.

“It’s Monday. Worst day of the week,” Henry grumbled despite a soft smile thrown in her direction. “I don’t remember much of anything. Definitely don’t remember how I got here. Have you called the police?” He gave her the added information without Olivia needing to prod, Henry’s question making her smile.

“No. Usually I wait until my visitors are coherent before making assumptions and calling for help.” Winking at him, she chuckled and helped him shift to a more comfortable position resting against her couch.

“Don’t try and stand just yet. Pretty sure that with the angle your leg was at when you slumped into the doorway, you’re gonna be hurting if you try. So you don’t remember how you got to the bottom of the mountain?” Olivia asked as she stood once more, moving to the kitchen to start on breakfast and some peppermint tea for her guest.

Monday was her day to include mending in her practice, and it seemed as though the universe was sending Olivia her greatest challenge yet. Discreetly, she saged the kitchen, paying special attention to the cup Henry would drink from, hoping that along with the mint, the sage would begin to cleanse him of any of the negativity his incident had brought through her door.

Henry watched Olivia move about the kitchen, barefoot and so in tune with her surroundings that it made him wonder if she had made the house with her own two hands. Far more graceful than his ex, it seemed almost like she had a trail of stardust propping up every movement of her arms and legs. It may have been the concussion affecting his vision, but Henry was enthralled nonetheless.

“Are you allergic to anything, Henry?” Olivia asked, breaking Henry’s reverie as she pulled eggs from the basket on the counter, butter from the dish, and a ham from the ice box. After a moment’s pause and the realization that she had no bread, Olivia grabbed grated potato from the ice box and placed it next to the ham, switching her original menu from an omelette to a breakfast hash for better balance.

“Not last I checked,” he replied, his smile lopsided and boyish, Henry’s attention moving only briefly to Gunnar who’d made his thigh resting place for his fuzzy head, the dog huffing out a great sigh as though he knew his owner was in for a long night with their new guest.

Olivia finished off his tea with honey, adding a single lavender bud in the bottom to help with the wearing off of the adrenaline she could still feel coursing from his every pore. Whatever had happened, it had been bad enough to force him to walk all the way to her place injured, and no one did that unless they absolutely had to.

“Here. Drink slow and just know you’re safe now. Nothing’s broken, or dislocated, but I don’t want you in a rush to leave here because the injuries you do have aren’t exactly minor. Do you feel dizzy?” She asked as she handed over the mug, noting the almost imperceptible tremor in his hands as he took the drink, another sign that if she didn’t get him fed, bathed, and into the downstairs bedroom soon, he’d be in a world of pain.

Henry went to nod, but the room spun too hard, forcing him to take deep breaths in order to make it stop. When the wave of seasickness passed, he managed a weak smile and said, “Yes, the room’s still moving quite a bit.”

Olivia resisted the urge to ruffle his curls, blinking it away and silently questioning herself on the matter, wondering if maybe she’d been too long removed from human contact. Going back to her stove, she checked on the hash and found it ready to plate.

“Smells amazing,” Henry commented as she approached, two plates perched in one hand, a mug of strong coffee in the other. “Gunnar, scoot,” she spoke softly to the dog, getting a half-hearted growl before he jumped up onto the couch, wedging his head promptly between the two humans, intent on not only staying in the circle of conversation, but of seeing if there was anything worth eating on their plates.

“Here,” Olivia grinned, giving Gunnar a piece of ham, swearing she could see him smile as he scarfed it down.

“He’s quite the character,” Henry chuckled, graciously accepting the fork Olivia offered before looking at the plate with an elated grin.

“You don’t know the half of it,” Olivia replied, side-eyeing Gunnar, the dog simply huffing in response.

“Looks amazing too. One final test left,” Henry joked, giving her a wink.

Olivia admired the fact that, despite everything he seemed to have gone through given his injuries, he’d still managed to retain his humor. It was rare in her limited experience with men, and she found herself smiling around her first bite, appreciating the company of someone other than Gunnar for the first time in a long time.

They ate in comfortable silence, occasionally sneaking glances at one another, Olivia in fear that Henry would fall asleep, and Henry in curiosity that this was the life Olivia had chosen for herself. He couldn’t understand why anyone, let alone a woman by herself, would choose to live in the middle of nowhere, off the grid, and with little more than a dog for company.

When they finished, Olivia made quick work of the plates, cleaning them before the remnants could dry and stick. Not having running water was tricky at times, but she always made it work, no matter the circumstances.

“Okay, you stay put for a bit--stay awake--and I’m gonna fill the tub. We’ll get you cleaned up, then over to bed for some rest. Sound good?” Olivia asked, wrapping the shawl tighter around herself before slipping on her coat and stepping barefoot into her boots in preparation for bringing in the four buckets of water she’d need to heat over the hearth in order to fill the clawfoot tub that rested in the sunroom across from the kitchen.

With the first bucket filled, Olivia dumped it in the sparkling tub before crouching down and lighting the firebox beneath the ceramic. She slowed her pace on the second, giving the fire enough time to do its work before another layer of frigid water was added. By the time she was on the fourth, the water was nearly too hot; the last bucket took it down low enough to get into, and by the time she got Henry in, it would be the perfect temperature for soaking.

Olivia glanced quickly over the bundles that hung above the tub, picking a handful of Tujah, Wintergreen, Wormwood, and Mugwort, before adding Sage and Willow Bark to the mix. Satisfied with the amount of pain relief the plants would provide, Olivia moved back to the living room, concentration clear in her features.

“Bend your knees. Tell me which one hurts worse,” she instructed, watching the confusion on Henry’s face turn to realization. Slowly, he did as asked, wincing when he bent his left leg. It was all the answer she needed. “Okay, I’m gonna pull you up, and when I do, put your weight on your good leg, got it?” With Henry’s nod, she extended both hands and waited for his grip to firm before pulling him towards her, catching his large frame just under his arms when he came up too fast.

“Easy, easy,” she coaxed, slinging his left arm across her shoulders, Olivia making herself a veritable crutch for him to use.

With nothing but natural light to illuminate the room, some of the bruising on Henry’s face became more apparent. “Hit the dash pretty hard, huh?” Clicking her tongue, she shook her head, grateful he’d made it as far as he had in more or less one piece.

“You reckon it was a car accident?” Henry wondered, still having no recollection of how he came to end up on Olivia’s doorstep, nor of the events leading up to it. Whatever the cause, he was thankful he’d ended up in such experienced hands.

“I’ll turn around. The cloth is for...well, you know....modesty, once you get in,” Olivia explained, needing to stay only so she could evaluate the injuries hidden by his clothing and make sure that he’d be able to get out of the deep tub without further causing harm to his already battered body.

Henry took one look at the small square washcloth, and couldn’t help the smirk that crossed his face.

“Love, I hate to say it, but that? Won’t be enough for modesty.”

#henry cavill x oc #henry cavill fic #henry cavill #alicia vikander #winter passing #deathonyourtongueoriginals #fic

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munofsilver · 7 years ago

Text

Hidden Secret Chapter 3

There is something on Nathaniel's mind, not just Malissa this time. Chloe, on the other hand, doesn't want to deal with her father's negativity. Ao3 link.

Sadly Chloe didn't make the trail mix like she wanted to. She couldn't stop thinking about him. “Why was he everywhere today?” She growls. “At work, lunch, the store. What do I have to do to get him away from me?” She just about screams. A knock on her door stops her from pacing around her room. “Come in,” she calls out facing the door. Her father comes in. “Hello, princess.” He takes a seat on her couch. “Hello, daddy.” She sits down next to her father.

“It's been a month, Chloe. When will you stop this? You don't need this, I can buy you whatever you need,” he sighs. Her father always goes straight to the point. “I know, daddy. You did that for me since I was six,” Chloe leans back. She knows where this is going. Right now she doesn't want to deal with this.“I just don't see why you don't want me to buy you what you need or want,” he looks sadly at his only child. “Daddy, I want to be able to do things on my own and not rely on you or your money,” now Chloe is the one that sighs. “I just don't understand,” he whispers. Just what he said last time.

[Yup flashback time] “Are you serious, Chloe?” A shocked major is sitting behind his desk. “Like I said, Daddy. I want you to stop paying my rent.” “Princess, you have no rent.” “Then make me pay rent.” “You can't be serious.” “Yes, I am Daddy.” Chloe crosses her arms. “I also want a job, and I'm going to get one,” Chloe spoke with pride. “A what?! Why?” “So I can earn my own money.” “I just don't understand.” [Flashback over now]

“When will you stop this, Princess?” Chloe gets up and walks towards the window. While looking out the window she answered. I want to do this on my own, Daddy.” She checks the time. “Sorry, Daddy I have to go. I don't want to be late for class.” Chloe puts her wig back on and changes into Malissa's street clothes. She hugs her father and rushes out the door. Sabrina is waiting in her car for “Malissa.” They both are in the same cooking class.

Nathaniel is heading out when he drove pass Malissa place. At least the place he thinks she lives at. Stopping at a red light close to the building, he looks at the building again. “I wonder what apartment number she lives in.” He quickly turns to face the street light. “I got to stop thinking about her.” “Who are you talking about?” Asked Lila, Nathaniel had forgotten she was in the car. “Just a student from my Art class,” Nathaniel answered hoping she doesn't notice the look on his face.

“Anyways, thanks for driving me to the airport,” Lila hummed. She didn't notice the look of embarrassment on his face. Nathaniel glanced at the building in the rearview mirror. “You're welcome. Glad to do it,” he chirped. “How long will you be gone?” Nathaniel speeds up a bit, but not too fast. “Just for a few months. After my cousin’s wedding I'm going to visit my old hometown for a while, and visit some old places I use to travel too with my parents,” Lila beams with excitement. “Sounds like fun,” Nathaniel glances at Lila. “I wish you could come with,” Lila wined. Nathaniel smiles, “I know, I have a class to teach and a tattoo parlor to run.”

“The class could have started later. I told you about this trip five months ago when I got the invitation,” Lila joking glares at Nathaniel. “That is true, I can't leave my tattoo parlor for a few months,” Nathaniel Ingres the fake glare. “I guess that's true. I will miss you when I'm gone.” “Really now?” Nathaniel asks. “Why wouldn't I? You were joking weren't you?” Lila joking slapped Nathaniel. It didn't hurt but he acted like it did. Now at the airport, Nathaniel pulls over so Lila can get out. He helps get her suitcase out. “I'll call you when I'm settled in,” Lila smiles and Nathaniel nods. Then Lila grabs Nathaniel by the shirt and kisses him on the lips.

During class, Chloe paid extra attention to the teacher. She reads all the intrusions of the cooking project for today’s class. They are learning how to make spaghetti with tomato sauce, clam chowder, and macaroons. Chloe is having fun when its time to do the cooking, Chloe enjoys cooking. Sabrina and her talk while cooking. “How do you like the book so far?” Sabrina asked draining the noddles. “I'm enjoying it very much. I'm halfway through it.” Chloe tastes the clam chowder.

“I was thinking after work before class tomorrow, would you like to go to the bookstore with me?” Chloe starts to work on the macaroons. “I would like that. When is your shift over?” Sabrina beams with joy. “5 but my Art class starts at 7.” “I'll be there at 4:30.” They both laugh. Once the food was done, there were 10 minutes left of class, the teacher walks around to taste her students finished meals.

She would comment on each and move on to the next. When she got to Malissa and Sabrina table Sabrina is a bit nervous and Chloe is excited. The teacher tasted their work. “Malissa and Sabrina very good just like last time. I must say the sauce is a bit thick though, but I do like the flavor. Did you add anything?” Sabrina looks a Chloe, and Malissa raises her hand. “Yes, Mrs. Schwanke. I know you said that it's good to experiment with spices once in a while. So I added some basil leaves and garlic to the sauce,” she whispers.

“Good job experimenting. Be careful sometimes it can backfire,” Mrs. Schwanke warns them both and moves on. “Good idea with the garlic and basil. I was wondering why you were looking at the spice rack earlier,” Sabrina laughs. With class done and over with plus a new at home project to do, they packed up the leftovers split them up evenly and head out. “Can I stay at your house tonight?” Chloe asked getting in the car.

“Sure, why?” Sabrina starts the car. “I just don't want to put up with my dad right now,” Chloe sighs. Sabrina looks at her. “Is he trying to get you to stop this?” Chloe nods. “I understand. Sure you can.” She drives off home.

Nathaniel can't stop thinking about what happened. 'Why did Lila kiss me like that? Is Lila interest in me?' He keeps asking those same questions over and over as he drives home. He passes that place again. While watching at a red light he sees Sabrina getting out of a car with Malissa. “Does that mean they live together? I should call Sabrina and see.” Nathaniel and Sabrina exchange numbers when she took his pottery class a year ago.

For some reason, a look of sadness appears on his face, as his mind goes back to Lila and the kiss. Then for some reason, Lila turns into Malissa. A car horn honking snaps Nathaniel back and he drives. “Maybe I just need to clear my head,” he said as he changes his direction and heads to his studio instead of home.

“Would you like something to drink?” Sabrina asked heading towards the kitchen. “Yes, water please,” Chloe take a seat on the couch. “Do you want to talk about it?” Sabrina hands her a bottled water. “Thank you. Sabrina, do you think what I'm doing is a mistake?” Sabrina sits down next to Chloe. “Of course not. I'm proud of you for doing this. I just wish you didn't do this as Malissa.” Chloe closes her eyes and pulls off her wig. “So do I, Sabrina so do I.”

“Why do you use the disguise then?” Sabrina takes a sip of her water. “My father wanted me too.” Chloe went quite and Sabrina understands. “I'll set up and couch for you, and give you a ride to work in the morning.” “That sound nice. Thank you.” Chloe smiles. She helps Sabrina get the couch ready, even though Sabrina said she didn't need too. Sabrina does like that Chloe is being nicer.

It's 3 am and Nathaniel is still in his studio, he was drawing, then he was painting, now he's working with clay. Not making anything just messing around with the clay. Nothing seems to help he keeps thinking about the kiss with Lila, Malissa, and the vision of kissing Malissa.

He stops when he notices the time. “I'm not sure I'll be able to get to enough sleep to open the parlor on time.” He looks at the lump of clay in front of him. “I'll be lucky if I can get any sleep tonight.” He sends a text to someone. Right now Alix is asleep but Nathaniel knows that she will get the message in the morning.

Nathaniel puts everything away and cleans up. He's unsure if he should still have his class. He just not sure what to think. The poor redhead has a feeling that he should have a nice chat with his younger sister. A very tired artist decides to try to get some sleep when he finally gets home. Poor tomato boy was so drained he didn't even make it to his room. He slumped down on the couch looking at the ceiling fan.

“Hello, Mr. Kurtzberg you wanted to see me?” Malissa is standing in the doorway of Nathaniel's Art classroom in his studio. Nathaniel was painting and covered in paint, he turns around to see her. “Yes, I did. Please take a seat.” Malissa does what he asked. “I hope you don't mind the paint,” Nathaniel steps towards her. “At least you're wearing a smock,” Malissa giggles. Nathaniel takes it off and hangs it on the hook on the wall. “It seems you got some on your shirt also,” Malissa points at him.

Nathaniel looks down at his shirt. “That's why I always wear old shirts while painting.” They both laugh. Then Nathaniel takes off his shirt and Malissa is now standing in front of him taking off her coat. They start kissing and holding each other. Nathaniel leans her against his desk as the kiss deepen. From her lips to her neck Nathaniel keeps kissing and starts nipping.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Nathaniel wakes up. He forgot the alarm on his phone was still on. With a grunt, he turns off his alarm and goes back to sleep. Now instead of Malissa, it's Lila he's making out with shirtless. Nathaniel wakes up again. “This is bad. I think I have a crush on both.” Nathaniel takes a shower to calm down. Then he calls his younger sister. Before that, he did notice that Alix did see his text and will look after his parlor today.

Chloe was glad she didn't see Nathaniel this morning. She had a feeling he would start coming in every day now. That doesn't matter she'll be seeing him at class tonight. After her break when she came in the first person there was Nathaniel with someone Chloe never seen before, but she does have the same color eyes as Nathaniel. Wait a minute she remembers hearing him talk about his younger sister a few times back in college.

[Childhood flashback] “Hey, Nathaniel would you like to come with us to the music festival?” asked Alix standing between Max and Kim. “Sorry I can't. Unless you don't mind if I bring my younger sister with.” Nathaniel closes his sketchbook. “Bring her with. We like hanging out with, Natalie,” Kim smiles. “She does want to go to the music festival, this would work out great,” Nathaniel stands up. The four talk about their plans with Natalie, Nathaniel's younger sister. “Are you going to the music festival, Chloe?” Sabrina asked as she files Chloe's nails. “Sabrina who is this Natalie I keep hearing? Is there a new student?” Chloe is looking around for the fresh meat. “Natalie is Nathaniel's younger sister. She's five I believe. Nathaniel brought her to your party, remember?” Chloe raises an eyebrow at Sabrina. “She the one the screamed and fainted when the Despair Bear started running around.” Sabrina let's go of Chloe's hand and Chloe checks her nails. [End flashback]

'That must be his sister. She does look a bit like him.' They step up to the counter. Right away Chloe notices a change in Nathaniel. He wasn't smiling and facing away from Malissa. He was looking at the menu broad, Malissa knows he doesn't need too. He orders the same thing as yesterday minus the chocolate croissant. His sister, on the other hand, needed some time. “I'll have a vanilla latte,” she finally orders after a minute.

Malissa makes the order and hands it to them after taking the payment. Nathaniel was quite and looking at the wall and around the cafe. It's like he was trying to avoid looking at Malissa. Good thing she didn't notice while making the order. Natalie, on the other hand, did notice.

Nathaniel and his sister sit at a table in the back by a window. “Why did you want to see me?” Natalie asked taking a sip of her latte. “I think I have a problem,” Nathaniel yawned. “Does it involved the girl you tried to ignore that made our coffee?” Nathaniel nods sadly. “Talk to me, bro.” “That girl over there is in my Art class. Her name is Malissa. I bumped into her a lot lately. She's cute and shy. Reminds me of me when I was younger. I would like to try to break her out of her shell.” Nathaniel smiles as he talks about Malissa.

“You have a crush on her,” Natalie laughs. Making her older brother turn red. “That's not all. You remember Lila?” “I do.” “When I drop her off at the airport last night she kissed me,” Nathaniel glance a quick look at Malissa, who right now is cleaning up a table. “Let me guess, you have a crush on both now?” Nathaniel looks down at his drink. “I had a dream last night. I was making out shirtless with Malissa. The alarm woke me up and when I went back to sleep it was Lila I was making out shirtless,” he sighs.

“I was right. Then again you and Lila went out once,” Natalie grins at her brother. “It was a blind date and it was only the one date. That was also two years ago,” Nathaniel spoke in an acerbic tone. “You two still talk and it seems she may want to be more than friends,” Natalie's grin widens. Nathaniel glares at her before he rolls his eyes. “She had two years to bring that up, why would she now?” Nathaniel asked himself more than his sister. “Call her and ask. I'm going to get some cookies.” Natalie gets up and heads to the counter.

Nathaniel checks his phone. No new messages. Maybe he should call Lila even though she did say she'll call him. The big question is does he like her or Malissa? Maybe both. Nathaniel didn't notice his sister returned. “I talked with Malissa,” she hands him a cookie. Only to have Nathaniel jump up, “You what?” After his outburst he sits back down face is totally red. Natalie just laughs.

“We didn't say much. I just introduce myself and we exchange numbers,” Natalie takes a huge bite of her cookie. Nathaniel nods his head and takes a sip, only to spit it back out. “You what?” He repeated. “I found out she's taking a cooking class and I asked if she could give me some tips. She said she'll think about it and I offered to exchange numbers.”

“She does seem nice, then again she is also working,” Natalie glances at Malissa and sees Sabrina walk up to the counter. “If Lila is interested would you date her?” Natalie just had to ask that. “I don't know,” he sighs. “What about Malissa?” “I do want to want to get to know her, but she's my student. Am I able to date a student?” That is a good question. For Natalie, it's not that big of a question. “You both are adults, so I don't see why not. If you feel that way just wait until the class is done,” she shrugs.

Sabrina walks up to the counter, why wouldn't she go to “Malissa.” “Hello, how can I help you?” Malissa smiles a real one for Sabrina. “Black coffee please.” “Decaf or not?” “Not please.” Malissa takes the payment and gets the easiest order she had all day.

At five Malissa's shift is over and she clocks out. Then meets Sabrina at the table she's sitting on, that happened to be close but not that close to Nathaniel and sister's table. “We'll go once I finished my coffee. While you wait why don't you get some,” Sabrina tease. She could tell “Malissa” wasn't amused by the look on her face. That look only made Sabrina laugh. After Sabrina finished her coffee they head out to the bookstore.

#ChloNath #HoneyTomato #lilia rossi #Chloe Bougeois #nathaniel kurtzberg #ML #Nathaniel's sister #Fanfic #ML Fanfic #Hidden Secret #sabrina raincomprix

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cat-the-dragon · 7 years ago

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This Last Thing I Could Do For You

I guess most of my followers already read Even Now We Feel The Shape Of Your Absence, that I’d posted partly because of @camsthisky, and partly because of the @nanowrimo.

This time, I’m blaming @chibinightowl for inspiring me to write this prequel (still meant to be read after the other one), both her and @comicroute beta-ed for me, so thanks to them

Read on Ao3

-The opening of the Will is scheduled at 19:00 this Monday in the Batcave.-

Jason stared at the message. The Will. Whose will? In the Batcave, a will was being read.

It had been sent by Barbie's Oracle number, so the probability of a prank was in negative percentages.

One of the Bats had died, and Jason hadn't been told. He’s always the last one to hear about these things.

Oh, god, what if it was Alfred?

Hands just barely not trembling, Jason typed his reply. -Who died- No question mark, somehow, it seemed more disrespectful than sending a message without proper punctuation.

-Red Robin- Came back ten seconds later.

Jason stared at the two words. He'd expected relief if it wasn't Alfred, but learning it was the kid he still held a grudge against without a proper reason was actually worse.

Jason arrived at the Cave at 7 pm sharp on Monday. He was there for the Will, not to socialize.

He'd had the time to look up what had happened.

It had been surprisingly easy.

Red Robin Death and Red Robin Suicide were all over the internet. There was a shaky cell-phone video of the hero hurling to the ground and going splat that had gone viral enough that even the Bats couldn't seem to get rid of it, and then dozen of witness declarations on diverse discussion boards.

The report he'd hacked on the Batcomputer said that Red Robin's gear had been in perfect working order, he didn't seem to have suffered any head injury before the fall, and his blood tox screening came back perfectly clear.

So.

Suicide.

Somehow Jason felt bad.

He wondered if he'd had anything to do with Repla- Tim's decision.

Dickster had told him, "Tim was your greatest fan. I saw him talking to your Memorial Case in the cave, Jay."

He wondered. Would things be different if he'd actually apologized for beating the kid up on top of Titan’s Tower and shooting him that time?

Jason knew how much having a role-model betray you hurt, and he'd been the one who did that to Tim, hadn't he? Would he have gone suicidal if Bruce systematically went after him with the intention to cause maximum harm instead of just reactively hurting him?

Who was he kidding, Jason was already a bit opportunistically suicidal even with just the status-quo at hand.

He didn't have the time to dwell more, because the big screen flickered with a video as soon as Bruce saw him arrive. (He was the last one, good.)

"Hey," the costumed and masked Red Robin on the screen started. "Seeing the probability of me dying, on or off the field, I figured I should make a vigilante version of my will. That way I can get into the type of questions that definitely couldn't be stated or explained on the civilian one that I left with the lawyer."

The Tim on the screen (not the one resting under a sheet in a refrigerated dome in the medbay that Jason had only glimpsed so far) turned a bit more somber. "I gave this video to Oracle. I figured a video would be the easier to confirm as genuine and not forced. The instructions were to get everyone possible to open it, but do it within two days at most, even if some were missing. That way you have a forewarning of my preferences before you start sorting my civilian death."

"Good bye everyone. B, if you are watching this alone because you couldn't wait for the others, or got nosy and I'm still alive while you see this, I'm very disappointed in you, close this video immediately!" Red Robin made a stern frowny face, and despite the solemn atmosphere in the cave, a ripple of amusement ran through the assembled heroes.

Jason for his part stomped down on his matching laugh to shoot Bruce a suspicious look. Did he tense? Had he actually tried it?

"So, I guess first off are my cases... I pre-made an override command in all my digital systems that will transfer everything to my old Robin session in the Batcomputer. I tend to use informatics a lot, so there should be everything you need on it to finish whatever I am doing at the moment of my death. It might be time sensitive, so I hid the transfer key in the Batcave, you'll find it under the detachable R emblem of my first Robin design in the display cave. It's a microchip, you might need a couple of minutes to find it, then connect under my old session and launch the program that pops up, it'll do everything on it's own. DO NOT fiddle with the code or launch it from anything but my old session on the Batcomputer, it'll destroy all my data. That's a very safeguarded override."

"Even then, some things are password protected. I put the list of encrypted passwords and corresponding files under the passenger side floor-mat of the Batmobile. Red Hood's Batmobile." Probably the one he boosted the tires from what feels like a lifetime ago. Good concealment of information in case an enemy got the Will on Tim's part, that.

"The encryption key is written on a post it note in Nightwing's favorite book from when he was still wearing the disco suit." Jason shot a look at Dick, who had a pensive expression on, trying to remember, surely.

"Legacy comes next, I guess? Red Robin was Hood's so if he wants to take it back now that I'm dead he can, I'd rather you didn't give it to D-Robin or any youngster after me, though. It’s not been around long enough to absolutely need to get passed down, and frankly, if I die in it, it would be a pretty unlucky omen for the next one.”

And that doused the little bit of levity that seeing a sassy Red Robin had introduced. Jason couldn’t help but sneak a glance at the sheet covered exam table.

Talk about unlucky.

One thing was sure, Jason would not be donning Red Robin again, thank you.

“The map of all my personal safe houses should be in the download with my cases, feel free to help yourselves to them or my gear. I mean all of you, no one gets to claim everything for themselves without asking the others if they want it.”

“Now my other Will also says this, but I wish to be cremated. And if possible not have all the ashes at the same place. I know it is tempting to forego it and wish for another miraculous resurrection like for J. But considering the interest Ra’s has been paying me, I really, really prefer not to run any risk of him ever getting his hands on my corpse.”

Tim looked at the camera fixedly. “I know what you’re thinking, B. You’re thinking you could protect my grave. Don’t. You’re not immortal, Ra’s is. What about fifty years from now? Will you still be able to protect my grave then? I prefer not to run the risk, so please respect my wishes on this.”

Bruce got up abruptly and stormed off.

Jason shot a venomous glare at his back.

He couldn’t even handle that? Tim had definitely been low balling that one because Bruce’s ability to protect graves? BULLSHIT. He hadn’t even noticed him vacating his.

Tim spoke for a couple more minutes. Minor things about who could have what, and his wish not to get a memorial case in the Batcave, and what to give to the Titans. There were instructions about keeping an eye on his teammates, especially Superboy, right after his death. He offset that by saying he made a will for the Titans too and that they would know what he wanted them to do after he died.

There weren’t person by person messages for the Bats, Tim apparently treated them as a single entity, or he’d made a series of personal messages independently from the general one.

Jason wasn’t paying much attention by the time the screen went black, because his mind had gotten stuck on Tim’s demand for a cremation. He understood that all too well. And more importantly, Bruce’s reaction to it.

Was he getting paranoid?

This suspicion, that Bruce storming off might be because he wanted to falsify the civilian will, stuck with him though.

Would Bruce be that much of an asshole?

What a question.

Yes, yes he would. When Bruce thought he knew best, he steamrolled everyone to force his version of ‘the best thing to do’, disregarding everyone’s logical reasons or emotions. Jason actually wondered if he was even aware people other than him routinely had feelings.

He looked around himself at the other Bats in the cave. Bruce wasn’t hiding anywhere he could see, but everyone else lingered, making clusters, crying, or noticeably being in the process of not-crying.

Damian was standing stock still, staring at the screen vacantly, obviously still deep in shock or denial.

Everyone else was mixed bags. They had seen death so often that they skipped entire stages of grief all the time, though for that one, Jason did foresee everyone getting bogged down on guilt floor for ages. He knew he would.

Suicides had the tendency to do that to surviving families after all.

Resigned to the idea of having to be the bad guy, Jason stalked past Blondie crying in the arm of a very stiff Cassandra and stopped in front of Barbara.

She extracted her blotchy face from Dick’s abs and sniffed. “What do you want?” she asked coldly.

“Where is B?”

Dick snarled, jumping over the wheelchair to put himself between Barbara and Jason. “Now is not the time to be petty. Tim is dead! He... He’s dead, he’s not coming back, he’s dead!”

So he was the bad guy. He was okay with it but as the one who’d gotten royally fucked by a Lazarus Pit, he’d given himself the mission to ensure Red Robin was burned the way he asked to. Being the good guy or the bad guy was not important. Keeping Bruce from disrespecting his third Robin’s wishes was.

So he said the bad guy’s thing. “Yes, he’s dead. And he wanted to stay that way and not become a Lazarus puppet like me, so I really hope I am wrong in my suspicions, but I need to know where Bruce is to be sure of that.”

Barbara stared at him around Dick, wide eyed. “He wouldn’t.”

“Right. And he wouldn’t label my memorial with ‘a good soldier’ either, then?” Jason spat back.

“This isn’t about you!” Dick yelled.

“No, it isn’t!” Jason bellowed back, agry to be accused of making Red Robin’s death about him. “It’s about Tim wanting to be cremated and Bruce going missing after the unofficial Will stated part of the content of the official one that’s with a lawyer. A part Bruce doesn’t like. How well can a law office hold up to the Batman?”

“How dare you suggest… You hateful!” Dick was losing steam. And the whole cave was deathly silent except for the unhappy rustle of disturbed bats on the ceiling. Everyone was staring at them. “...Spiteful… You!”

“Prove me wrong, then.” Jason gestured to the computer. “Tell me where Bruce is.”

Barbara blew out a loud breath. “I so hope you are wrong.” She wheeled herself to the console, letting Dick try to protect empty air.

“So do I.” Jason stood tall, arms crossed next to Barbara as she chillingly narrated her finds. No missing cars or bikes. Jason pointed that Bruce had gone up the stairs in his Batman costume. She gritted her teeth and looked for him on the video surveillance.

Dick was staring at him like he was a monster. And frankly, he would give his right hand to be wrong, but someone had to doubt the Bat, and if no one else would, Jason would be that person. He infinitely prefered being wrong and looking like the a heartless monster at Tim’s will reading, than be right but not speaking up and seeing Bruce prove himself to be the inconsiderate asshole once more.

“No,” Barbara whispered. “No.”

Jason squeezed his eyes shut. Shit. The pinpoint that represented Bruce was heading straight for Gotham. Which wasn’t that bad per-se. Maybe he was planning to beat some poor schmucks up to make himself feel better, but as far as disproving his fears went, it wasn’t great. (The fact that he had gone out in full Batman from the Manor’s entrance and apparently decided to go by foot wasn’t saying great things about his state of mind either.)

He stood still and silent, watching Bruce move on the map. Waves of murmurs floated around as some of the Bats left for their patrol and others watched along with Dick, Barbara and Jason.

When Bruce made it to the block of Tim’s lawyer, Jason decided to fuck the benefit of the doubt and stop dawdling.

His plan was already forming as he turned away from the computer screen and jogged up the cave’s stairs.

First, he went to the garage.

Slashing every single tire might have been a little overdone, but Bruce was filthy rich, he’d get over it.

Second were the supplies.

He didn’t have a precise idea of exactly what would be needed, but he figured he could always buy what he needed as he went. The most important tools for the first phase was cooling stuff.

He pilfered a big comforter from a guest room and filled it with as many ice cube packs as he could find in the upstairs freezer, then he trudged back down the cave’s stairs with his loot.

Barbara, Alfred and Damian were the only ones still in the cave when Jason came back down. He figured Dick must have led the few stragglers on a mission to go talk some sense into the big dumb Bat.

Jason didn’t like to put his trust in that. If he wanted stuff done, he might as well do it himself.

The trio stared at him and his comforter bag. He ignored them.

He did the same with all the cooling packs in the medbay freezer as he had upstairs.

He also pilfered half the emergency liquid Batfunds from their hiding place.

Third was the Batgarage.

He almost expected to be stopped, to have to fight his way through, but instead he was met with watchful silence when he stalked to one of the Batmobiles, opened the trunk, collapsed the back seats and spread his catch on the floor.

Then Jason methodically moved on the hangar for the fliers and plastic-ed up every single landing gear. Barbara put a hand on Damian’s shoulder and asked him to push her to the elevator because she wanted a snack.

Damian must have been pretty out of it not to see through the transparent excuse. Or maybe he was experiencing disconnect. He blinked at the systematic destruction Jason was wreaking upon their vehicles, then at Barbie, and obeyed without a word.

The Bat-tires were all a lot sturdier than the civilian ones, so slashing wouldn’t work that well.

Instead, with a lingering look at Alfred to see if he’d try to stop that much, Jason took out the Bat-impact-wrench and went to work removing every single wheel and kicking them over the edge of the precipice into the man-made lake Batman kept his marine float in.

Once only his chosen Batmobile was standing on all its wheels, he went for part four.

Fourth was Tim.

He strolled up to Tim’s body, opened the refrigerating dome, and lifted the sheet covered lifeless body up in his arms. He noticed Alfred bustling around. Still, he didn’t move to stop him when he went back to the trunk and deposited Tim in it.

Considering how the body had been kept very cool since his death (probably to make it easier to disguise his civilian death to a later date) rigor mortis had barely set in and it was fairly easy to maneuver him into lying on his side so he would fit inside the limited space.

Jason folded the blanket back up over Tim and closed the trunk. This was when he noticed Alfred in much more practical clothes than he ever thought he’d see the old man in, holding a backpack and opening the passenger door.

He stared at the old man, but when he was only met with a very flat stare, he shrugged, climbed into the driver seat and drove off. It was nice to see someone else understood about respecting final wishes and all that.

Fifth was distraction.

In the morning, once he estimated himself far enough from Gotham, Jason bought a replacement minivan with tinted windows at a shady second hand shop. Alfred helped him transfer the contents of the Batmobile, and then they left with their new vehicle.

Jason left the Batmobile in a well frequented parking lot with the keys taped to a side mirror for any daring youth to take it on a joyride whenever they found it. Alfred didn’t look thrilled by his choice, but didn’t protest either.

When Alfred asked him what he planned on doing, Jason started considering his options besides ‘steal the body and run’. Speaking the possibilities out loud helped him think them through too.

Breaking into a funeral house and commandeering the crematorium, although easier, would leave an obvious trail. If not on the security surveillance, at least in the fuel gauge. There was no way it wouldn’t be reported and investigated, and even if nothing came up from it, it would make Tim’s civilian death with a missing body much more suspicious than it needed to be.

Tim was so loyal to the Bats and their secret, that even the fleeting possibility that Jason might be too careless and accidentally harm his successor's cover made him sick to his stomach.

Alfred nodded at Jason’s exposed doubts. “Well,” he mused. “I guess humans have been building funeral pyres since the Roman empire, and they didn’t have gasoline then. I suspect young master Tim would have appreciated such a send-off.”

Jason swallowed. “Would he?” he asked, suddenly desperate to learn more about the person he’d just gone against Batman to cremate.

Alfred smiled sadly. “Yes, I believe so. He forced Master Bruce to watch the original Star Wars trilogy once.” Jason smiled, wondering how he’d even managed that feat, but didn’t ask, not wanting to interrupt the tale. “Master Tim was so emotional at the funeral for Anakin Skywalker. I could see the awkwardness radiating out of Master Bruce. It was clear he didn’t quite know what to do.”

In the following day of driving, they had to make a few pit stops to buy more ice-cubes and dump the old ones so the body they were transporting didn’t start to warm up and putrefy.

Jason guessed the result would be the same either way, but he really prefered to be able to give Tim as much dignity in his funeral as he could. And as far as he was concerned, it included not letting him start to smell like a pile of garbage.

They picked a deserted beach at the foot of a ragged cliff, hoping the relief would hide their fire from the watchful eyes of fire departments, and waited for the evening to start moving their newly bought supplies and Tim.

There was quite a bit of wood, charcoal, and acetone bottles to move over a pretty long way, but Jason was strong and had quite a bit of endurance, so he took care of it while Alfred built the pyre.

When all the supplies were moved, and once the night was well fallen, Jason finally brought Tim. He was still fairly cold, and didn’t actually smell.

Feeling like this had all gotten much more real, Jason carefully wrapped Tim in the comforter, letting a tuft of hair poke out to make the human shape look more like a voluntary blanket burrito than a carpet wrapped corpse.

He reviewed his excuse: Yes, my brother fell asleep during the car ride. He never sleeps so I didn’t feel like waking him. I couldn’t let him in the car though. It’s okay, he barely weighs anything.

Jason didn’t see anyone, but the cover story had already started to make him shift his way of seeing things. Brothers…He shook himself off and hurried over to Alfred.

Now that Tim was out, they had to make haste. Getting caught with a corpse was absolutely not desirable.

“I know it’s stupidly romantic, but I can’t help thinking we should burn him with his weapon,” Jason said, sighing while dousing the comforter in acetone. (They should probably douse Tim too, but that was something neither of them could bring themselves to do, pouring acetone on a family member.)

Alfred smiled faintly and opened his backpack to pull a small cylinder out. Jason reached for it and unfolded it.

They quickly put Tim in position on top of the fire accelerant doused pyre. (Jason spared a moment to be thankful Tim had already been cut out of his fire retardant nomex uniform and dressed in cotton civilian clothes. He didn’t voice it, though, because he was fairly sure Alfred had been the one to do it and it must have been incredibly harrowing for him.)

Alfred took out a camcorder and a tripod and started recording the funeral pyre. It wasn’t meant as an archive, too risky, but as an inclusion, so the rest of the family would be able to see it at least once if they chose to.

Jason stared at Tim’s too pale dead face.

He had been suppressing his knowledge that Tim’s ‘body’ was actually Tim’s corpse. He’d been compartmentalising, and he knew it, thinking like Tim was in some sort of coma instead of dead. Even when he’d been browsing the barbecue section of the mall for the pyre’s material, he’d still been treating it like he was doing Tim a simple favor, rather than organizing a funeral.

Because he needed to be functional, because he couldn’t break down.

At last, Alfred and Jason folded the acetone doused comforter over Tim’s body and threw ropes over the pyre to anchor it down. (Apparently, Roman pyres sometimes ejected the person placed on top of it because of the abrupt heat, and they prefered to avoid this risk.)

Finally, they lit a couple of torches and touched them to the pile, lighting it up.

The pyre went up in flame with a wroof.

Jason retreated out of the camera’s recording field and huddled down.

That was it.

No more Tim.

Alfred, bless him, noticed his somber mood and gently rubbed his back as they watched the initial acetone fueled fury recede down to a more reasonable wood and coal fueled one.

“You should cry,” Jason rumbled.

“So should you, young man,” Alfred hummed back.

“Somehow I can’t,” he admitted, staring at the brazier. “But the kid deserves to have someone cry at his funeral. You knew him, you should do it.”

Jason felt numb. The heat of the fire was drying his lips and stinging his cheeks and forehead, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, let alone move away. Not with the burnt flesh smell and occasional explosion as the heat started to pulverise bones.

Even as tears started sliding down Alfred’s weathered old cheeks, the disconnect wouldn’t go.

He was still thinking about what if someone came. What if the fire department came by and noticed they were illegally getting rid of a body.

Thankfully, no one came by for the four hours it took for the fire to burn itself down to embers.

Somehow, Alfred had fallen asleep in the sand, dried tear tracks marring his face. It had been a very long 36 hours, after all, and Jason had no idea how long the man had been awake before he came in the cave to hear Tim’s will.

Jason didn’t wake him and raked the coals closer together with a long branch, looking out for any long bone or unburnt flesh that would need to be pushed closer to the embers.

There were some bone fragments, but thankfully no flesh, and once Jason had managed to push everything closer together, he took the last bottle of fire accelerant, poured it in a long handled steel pan and carefully dumped it on, then jumped out of the way of the new tongue of fire.

One hour later, Alfred still fast asleep, he carefully scooped the top layer of ashes into the big glass jar they had bought for them.

Once it got impossible to catch the ashes without taking sand with it, Jason took out the garbage bags and started scooping all the mixed sand and ashes he could into them.

Only then did he shake Alfred awake.

They silently took everything back to the van, drove a few miles to a wild looking patch of forest and buried the ashy sand.

“So. What now?” Alfred asked, looking at the Jar.

“Now,” Jason said with a sigh, “I drop you off at a train station so you can go back home to Gotham, and I get to burying these ashes in different locations.”

Alfred smiled sadly. “It’s probably for the best. It’ll give you boys the opportunity to spend some time together. Take him somewhere nice, hear me? I always thought the boy needed to go on vacations more.”

Jason swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Promise. Only the best places for little Red.”

Alfred looked equally choked up.

They climbed back in the van.

“Take care, young Master Jason,” Alfred whispered along with a rare hug in the deserted train station. “No matter the circumstances, it was good seeing you again.” Then he looked down at the Jar. “I’m counting on you to keep that one out of trouble, young man.”

And… Here were the tears again, Jason shuffled awkwardly while Alfred dabbed at his eyes.

He ran away as soon as the train came in the station, rather than stay for a last tearful goodbye.

“Well,” Jason told the Jar when he turned the key in the ignition. “Ready for a last adventure, Timbo?”

There wasn’t, Jason thought as he sieved the ashes into a mixing bowl to catch the chunky bits of charred bone, anything that could drive the reality of someone’s death in more deeply than having to crush their bones to a dust using seemingly innocent kitchen ustensils...

It took him a couple of hours to get the bones into fine enough a powder as to be totally inconspicuous in the granite mortar he’d bought especially for this purpose. He was so glad he’d managed to hide the chunks from Alfred, it wasn’t something he wanted the old butler to even have to think about.

“So? Do you like it here?” Jason asked Tim’s Jar.

He was aware that Tim was dead and talking to his ashes looked an awful lot like madness, but to be fair, next to the Pit madness, any other form of it was an improvement.

“I like it. It’s nice. I think you’ll be happy here.” With a small smile, Jason reached for his shovel and started digging.

Once the hole was a couple of feet deep, Jason knelt by it and dumped a handful of ashes in.

Well, ashes and some sand. Most air travel companies didn’t let funeral urns travel in the passenger cabin. Jason had used colorful sands to make Tim’s Jar look more like a souvenir decorative sand bocal than a jar of human ashes. He was sure Tim didn’t mind going undercover, he’d been trained to it, after all.

When he was done shovelling soil back in the hole, Jason sprawled next to it, basking in the beauty of the spot he’d chosen to be yet another of Tim’s graves.

“So, where to next?” he asked his deceased brother. When, predictably, no answer came, he smiled. “I think you’d like Tibet. Let’s go to Tibet. Maybe I can find somewhere you like in the Himalayas.”

Jason stared at the hole. The last one he’d have to dig after what seemed like a hundred of them (it really wasn’t though).

The scenery was pretty perfect, blue sky over a lush green mountain, not too high, and still pretty wild. It went well with the rest of his string of small graves.

With a grimace, he tipped the small glass bocal (he’d switched the Jar out for smaller containers as he went) over the hole.

A part of him was saying to only dump half of the ashes down, to keep going for a bit more.

Finally, tears welled up.

He knew he hadn’t actually needed to divide the ashes half as much as he had. It had been an excuse, to be able to hold onto his little brother for a bit more time. Not that he’d ever been much of a brother to him, except for this one last time when it mattered most.

The same part of him asked again if they did have to bury all the ashes. He could keep an ounce of them after all, keep a bit of it, for memory.

Jason shook the bocal to dislodge the last of the dusts in it and scooped a handful of soil over the ashes immediately afterward before he could lose his nerve.

It was time he said goodbye.

It was time to let Tim go.

Jason finally started to sob, crying over the too young hero. Over the little brother he never actually managed to bond with. Over the Robin, dead, just like him, and the fact that it was what it had taken for Jason to finally pay attention to him.

He cried, long and hard.

Then he took his shovel and filled this last hole back up.

“Wherever you are now, I hope you are more happy than you were when you left us,” he murmured. “I can’t remember being dead, so I can only hope.”

He looked around. “This has been fun, kinda. I hope you liked our little adventure as much as I did. I just. I. I’m just sad and sorry we couldn’t do that while you were alive.”

He sniffed, rubbing at his eyes. “Farewell, Tim.”

Breathing deeply, he placed the bocal next to the upturned soil and stepped back, taking his cellphone out. He walked far enough away that he could get the mini-grave in the camera’s frame along with a good chunk of the scenery.

He hadn’t documented any other locations, but seeing the quantity of different places he’d scattered Tim’s ashes across, just one picture wouldn’t hurt too much.

-Coming back to Gotham now- He included with the picture to Alfred.

It was, after all, time to move on. Jason definitely should try and talk to Damian so he didn’t have to mourn another stranger of a little brother ever again. (The thought hit him suddenly, that it was exactly what Dick had said to explain his much more developed relationship to Tim as it had been to him.)

His phone chimed with a reply.

-I am looking forward to your return-

#character death #cremation #relativelly graphic depiction of a cremation #funeral #pyre #Jason Todd #Tim Drake #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #dick grayson #Damian Wayne #I made both my betas and myself cry so be warned

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alexanders-headspace · 7 years ago

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Back From The Dead (Pt.1)

Notes:

This is my first official multipart fic. It’s treebros, with the possibility of being a reader insert if that’s what my readers want! Regardless, it’s told from Evan’s perspective! As for trigger warnings: If it’s in Dear Evan Hansen, it’s going to be touched on in this fic. If you’d like to be tagged or just have feedback you can get ahold of me via messages or my askbox!

Summary:

Connor's died, when Evan visits the Murphy's house he becomes haunted by an angst filled ghost he didn't want, not to mention most of Connor’s story doesn’t add up to be a suicide. Will Evan be willing to do what it takes to bring him back and uncover the truth?

Word Count: 2070

Tags: @watch-the-whole-world-disappear

I look down at the newly signed name on my cast and smile, taking the sharpie back from ‘Connor’. Still smiling, I look up at him, ready to thank him for being the first- and only- person to sign my cast. It doesn’t help that it’s the last week of summer school, so every one of my friends- or at least the people who would have maybe signed my cast- are gone. Connor doesn’t ask why I’m here- which I’m thankful for, because the truth is I’m not stupid, I just couldn’t go to one of my classes this year most days, there were just people in there who liked specifically to pick on me, and even when they weren’t picking on me, they were just completely negative and emotionally draining to be around. I usually only showed up once a week, but that obviously wasn’t enough to keep me out of coming to this school during the summer.

“Give me those.” Connor demands, holding out his hand for the bottle of pills half concealed in my hand, half concealing the fact I have anxiety and depend on lab made chemicals to keep me from shaking every time I have to talk to someone, or get too close to anyone I don’t know, or I have to do that thing where I have to wait at the counter while the checker counts out my change and then I’m standing there trying to put it in my pocket when the next person is already trying to check o-

My thoughts are interrupted by Connor pinning me to the wall and repeating himself; I must have taken too long to answer. Shaking my head, I retreat into myself and bite down on my lip, my face going red with embarrassment at my sudden inability to speak. Connor gives me a harsh shove, holding one arm behind my back. I whimper, turning my head to look at him.

“Give me those and I won’t tell everyone you’re writing perv letters to yourself about my sister. She doesn’t even know who you are, freak. Although I’m sure this is what you wanted, isn’t it? You knew I was the only one in the library, you knew I’d find this, that’s why you typed it up in here, isn’t it? So I could read some creepy shit about my sister, huh?” he says, biting down on his own lip, pressing harder onto my arm with every word as if he could break it again through the cast.

Wait, can you do that? Can you break your arm through a cast? I hand over the pills as I think that, not wanting to risk having my arm broken. Again.

He looks at the label, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Cymbalta? Will these get me.. Will this get me high?”

I can’t help the blush of embarrassment on my cheeks, still unable to speak.

I’ve never even been high, I’ve never tried to get high, much less thought it was a good idea to try and get high off medications that I need.

“I-I…” I stammer weakly, and he rolls his eyes, letting go of me and moving away from me.

“Cool. What’s the worst that could happen anyway?” he says, and my eyes widen.

The worst that could happen? Really? He could die, if he decided to take enough, his nervousness would skyrocket, which was incredibly ironic because that’s the very thing it was supposed to fix, passing out, tremors… hyperhidrosis, which again was ironic because that in itself was the cause of most of my anxiety, just thinking about sweating makes me start sweating again. Usually, my hands aren’t that sweaty, until I start worrying that they’re sweaty, which makes them sweaty.

Reaching for the pill bottle I’m harshly shoved by Connor, falling onto the library floor. He storms out, my letter in his hand with my pill bottle. Sitting up, I rub my arm, tears filling my eyes as I take out my phone to text my mom to come get me.

I see the familiar van pull up in front of the school, leaving and getting in the passenger side, closing my eyes and bracing for a barrage of questions.

“Are you okay?” she asks, turning to me.

Nodding, I look over at her. She wipes my tears, frowning. She doesn’t question further, although I can tell it’s because she’s trying her hardest not to.

“Did you write that letter to yourself? ‘Dear Evan Hansen today is gonna be a good day and’-” she starts, but I cut her off.

“Yes, why do you think I was in the library?” I ask, wiping my eyes with my hoodie cuff.

“Well I bought you a binder to put all your letters in…” she says softly, holding out a binder. It’s blue- my favourite shade of blue. On the side she wrote ‘Dear Evan Hansen’ in the pretty handwriting she wrote my name in on the outside of my door when I was little. She helped me decorate it for a full two weeks whenever she could after dad left.

I can’t help but smile, and nod, “Thank you mom,” I mumble, taking it from her and going inside, pausing to look at my door, running my fingers over the caked on paint, the pencil marks from every year I got taller, the lightest pencil mark at the top, where she couldn’t quite reach, and truthfully it’s not my actual height, I felt bad and bent down for her. Well, I had tried, she kicked me for doing it, which I remember me laughing at. I still slid my feet away from the wall, bending my knees ever so conspicuously. My fingers run over the mark, and some of the graphite transfers, making it lighter. I shake my head to clear the memory, going into my room and laying down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I’ve never had to go a day without my medications for almost two years, and suddenly because some asshole I just met wants to get high I have to suffer. He’ll probably give most of them back tomorrow when he realizes you can’t get high off those. Unless you can get high off of those. Which I doubt. I mean I’m on a pretty high dose. Surely I would have felt something?

Mom makes mac and cheese with tuna for dinner, running out after dinner to the hospital, with barely a tight lipped smile serving as a goodbye. Sending one back, I wince at the slam of the front door, taking the dishes to the sink and rinsing them out. Sighing, I pick up a rag and clean off the counters, eventually giving up on a particularly difficult stain and sitting on the floor. I pull my knees to my chest, tears welling up in my eyes. Scrolling through my contacts is no help, who would I even call for this?

Alana? For her to give me statistics on why I shouldn’t be upset, nothing bad has really happened, and my brain should hypothetically be able to keep me from getting so anxious about everything?

Jared? For him to tell me we aren’t really friends, or to yell at me for calling him up so late? There’s only one other person I could call, and if my mom ever saw him on my call logs.. I shiver at the thought of even hearing my dad’s voice, much less the expression I’d see on my mom’s face when she found out I had his number. Of course, I’d gotten it from her a few years ago, so it might not even be any kind of accurate- what if I called a stranger?

No, no, being alone by choice is better than being cast out by my friends and... Family. My hands squeeze the rag in my hand, causing water to spill out of it onto the floor. I get up, sniffling and dropping the rag, heading up to my room. Crashing into bed, the tears start falling. There’s no one home to hear, there never is when I get like this. I don’t even know what this is, it’s some hellish mix of anxiety and… I’m not sure what else but I am sure I hate it.

Nightmares haunt me all night and I wake up two hours before my alarm in a cold sweat. Sniffling, I make my way to the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror for too long of a time, ignoring the urge to pick at a scar on my face that’s always bothered me. My mom tells me I have the scar over a freckle because when I was younger I always picked at it and despite it bleeding I wanted it gone. I had very little reasoning skills, figuring the skin would just heal itself perfectly over the ruined skin. Showering isn’t much help for me to be less anxious, my medication would be incredibly helpful but despite checking the box where I usually keep my pills eight different times I don’t have it. The deafening silence in the house isn’t helpful, and soon after dressing I start pacing. My mom should be up, I think. She comes in, knocking on the open door.

“Hey honey, you’re up early, do you wanna go grab a coffee with me?” she offers, smiling. As much as I’d love coffee, I shake my head; I know how coffee affects my anxiety, and I’m not taking the chances of having a panic attack at school- again. I don’t even bother looking to see the hurt look I know has crossed her face.

“I mean, I’ll go if you’re going to that cafe up the street I’ll come with you,” I offer, my eyes meeting hers, “I mean they serve that strawberry and cream thing, and it’s cold, so.. It’s nice, you know, because it… because it’s summer you know? A-And I mean who else could I share a girly drink with besides my mom?” I ask weakly, hoping I’m convincing her I feel okay.

She smiles, resting her hand on my shoulder for a moment, “Yeah, let’s go. Do you want me to put your backpack and binder in the car? Maybe you could work on today’s letter?” she adds the last part softly, as if asking too harshly would hurt me.

“Yeah, definitely.” I say, forcing myself to smile as I remember what happened to my first letter. I grab my laptop, avoiding opening it so my mom wouldn’t know what I’m up late watching-

“Did you wake up early from all those horror shows you watched last night?” she asks, and my face grows hot with having to lie.

“Horror shows? Mom are you sure you’re talking to the right…” I trail off at the look she gives me, “Yeah actually. I was watching American Horror Story, I didn’t want you to have to watch episodes you already watched when we watch it together!” I complain, almost whining as I tie my shoes.

“Wait, how did you know I was watching that anyway?” I ask, my brows furrowed, getting a laugh in response.

“Maybe you should look at what profile you’re up watching Netflix on. My most recently watched weren’t The Babadook and American Horror Story.” she said, kissing my forehead, laughing when my face scrunches up as I try to move away.

The drive to the cafe is quiet, but peaceful, not the awkward sort of quiet it should have been, because I still haven’t told her that my pills aren’t exactly around anymore. What if she’s mad I didn’t stand up for myself; what if she cries because I’m so weak I can’t even tell someone no when they try to take something of mine. She turns to me when we get there and frowns, and I almost start rambling all of this to her. Almost.

“Honey, you know, your principal called this morning, he needs to see you in his office this morning.” she says softly, and I bit my lip, tears welling up in my eyes from biting down where the skin is already bruised and swollen and from anxiety.

I nodded quickly, looking out the window, getting out and going and snagging a booth for me and her, sitting down and looking down at an empty page on my laptop.

#dear evan hansen #deh #dear evan hansen fic #deh fic #fanfic #treebros

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adrift-in-writing · 7 years ago

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Français Between Us - Chapter 5

Took near half a month to do because of me being a preoccupied piece of shit, but here we are.

Read on AO3

Summary: In which Lena gets her mind blown three times in one day.

______________________

Coffee.

If one thing Lena learned, this was probably a mistake and a half. Coffee was the worst fucking idea she had ever planned, mainly because she hadn’t the slightest clue where to even start looking, let alone taste the blends of French coffee. In short, she knew fuckall about coffee around these parts.

But she promised, and she didn’t like breaking promises. On top of, this was her college professor she was asking out on a friendly outing. There was no way she could back out of it without hurting Professor Lacroix’s feelings after she had earned her trust.

The final hours of the university slowly trickled away as Friday afternoon eventually came. Students and professors alike were more than ready to get comfortable into the weekend, yet there was still so much to be done before their first official break was to be scheduled.

Nevertheless, when the bell rang, every student was more than glad it was over, and Lena headed straight towards Amélie’s office once more. A nerve-wracking wave of anxiety rushed inside her, but the student furrowed her eyebrows and grumbled to herself.

You asked for this, Lena. Woman up. Win her trust some more. Ask her how her day was doing! Simple shit! Why can’t you do something so simple?!

All those thoughts roamed around in her head. Eventually, when she had made it to the vicinity of the office, things mellowed out on her end. At least, until Gérard burst through the office door, looking worried. They were speaking native French, which Lena had been able to easily decipher.

“Amélie, please! ” He pleaded to no avail. The door between them had been left open only enough that Gérard’s from covered most of the interior space within, thus obscuring Miss Lacroix from view.

“For the last time, Gérard, I am going to be unavailable this afternoon and this weekend. I ask you to leave, I expect you to comply.”

Amélie’s voice had a very uneasy sense of calmness to it, which seemed to scare Gérard more than anything.

“ Loin avec vous. ” Amélie ordered, now harsher in tone. Before her assistant could even react, the professor slammed the door shut and applied her ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign up, in comparison to the previous ‘Please Knock’ sign.

“Great…” Gérard muttered, rubbing his cheek. It had been noticeably red - presumably from being slapped - and walked away. Seemingly oblivious that Lena was nearby, he resumed his own daily tasks that the professor set him up to do, though now in deep shame.

Nervously swallowing, Lena clenched her hand into a fist, and gently knocked on the door. Even though this was a fairly stupid idea given how easily irritated her professor’s mood was, she did it anyway.

A couple moments later, Amélie rapidly opened up the door and prepared to deliver a lecture. “I thought I told you that I --” She stopped mid-way, only to find that Lena was standing in her presence, rather than that annoyance of a man in her stead. Her expression changed from a stern glower to one of soft kindness. Then, a smile spread itself on her lips. She cleared her throat, trying to remember her English.

“Ah. Lena. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lecture. I hope you didn’t see me with my assistant.”

Her student giggled some, and scratched her head. “Well...you two argue like a married couple if I gotta be honest. ‘Cept it’s one-sided.”

Professor Lacroix rolled her eyes. “Married? Tch, doubtful.” For a moment, she considered the idea before deeming it too silly, and she leaned her shoulder on the doorway. “He’s three years my age and yet he acts like a boy. I’d only want to marry a man - a grown one at that.”

“So you’re saying he’s not your type?”

“No, he just...” Amélie drifted off, though she shook her head a few times and blinked. “Where are you going with this? Don’t we have a coffee date?”

The word ‘date’ caught Lena off-guard, and made her feel flushed. Last she remembered, this was a simple, friendly, non-romantic coffee ‘outing’. Nope. Not a date. Not a date whatsoever. She wanted to correct her professor, but knowing how she felt, Lena would only stumble over words like the gay nerd she was.

Instead, she just nodded, and actively tried not looking at Amélie directly.

“Well, did you find us a place?”

Sadly, this was where Lena had to respond back with a negative head-shake. She lowered her head. She was no expert on finding any baristas around Paris, nor any decently good location. In fact, the past few weeks she’d buried herself in work just for the first exam that she had no time to do anything.

Regardless, Amélie softly chuckled and grinned. “Always have a Plan B. I know a good place somewhere on Rue Cler . You can probably see the Tour de Eiffel from there, too.”

“Really?” Lena perked up suddenly, now filled with relief they could at least hang out together. “What’s the name?”

“It’s the Cygne Noir Café. I am positive you won’t mistake it for any other building in the market street.”

If memory served her right, she had stopped by Rue Cler once. Though, Lena couldn’t recall worth shit if she saw a sign that read Cygne Noir or not. Also if memory served her right, she accidentally made her way there instead of getting there on purpose. When she did, she nearly got in a minor car accident due to how narrow the street was that day.

GPS could serve her well on finding a suitable parking lot, or at least helping navigate to where Miss Lacroix wanted her to be. The student just pulled out her phone and dialed in notes for the maps app to find, and within moments, it presented her a perfectly viable route to drive in no less than twenty some minutes with good traffic.

Amélie had placed a hand on Lena’s shoulder and put up that warm smile of hers again. “I’m going home really quick to change, if that’s okay.”

“...Change? And here I thought the only thing in your wardrobe was professional clothes!”

“Very funny. Now, I’ll meet you at the café later, yes?”

A simple nod from Lena was all it took for Amélie to nod back. “ Bon. I look forward to it.”

________________________

Despite being one of the most famous market streets in all of Paris, Rue Cler on a Friday afternoon seemed surprisingly calm. It was rare to even find a good parking spot - even rarer that it was right next to the market itself - but Lena had made it after some diligent searching.

No building around the area as far as she was concerned had the sign of a Cygne Noir anywhere to be found. Things seemed to be lost, until Lena turned the corner and checked on the building on the opposite side of the market.

A rather tall building with a swanky looking black swan as their logo. In a fancy font just next to the swan, it read, ‘Cygne Noir Café’ . There seemed to be people all the way on the rooftops, judging by one person’s arm hanging off of the railing.

Lena had gone inside, now noticing the elevator up towards the terrace above. The atmosphere in here was rather cozy, and the smell of freshly brewed caffeine and some other smell lingered about. Was it bread or...meats? That just made absolutely no sense.

That is, until she looked at the board filled with various assortments of light comfort food and assortments of coffee products, from a cup of coffee to purchasing bags of coffee beans - hell, there was even different flavored coffee cakes up for grabs if people wanted something fresh and new. Somehow, all of this fancy stuff was something Lena could actually afford on a college budget. How they managed to keep business booming and rake in enough positive revenue was beyond her.

Service seemed fast enough, and Lena had already asked for a medium-sized cup of medium-roasted cappuccino with milk. If she had known her mixes better she’d have probably ordered something more extravagant, but something simple instead suited her just fine.

When Lena had taken her seat next to a window, only then could she hear the snazzy and upbeat lounge music playing over the loudspeakers. While her coffee was still fairly hot, she let it simmer down. It was nice and all that she could at least relax now, but... Amélie had yet to show up. The sights outside of the window were more of a treat to her eyes, and yes indeed - she could, in fact, see the Eiffel Tower from here. It’d probably be best if it were on the terrface above, but today, she felt like staying indoors.

With that, Lena pulled out her phone and began waiting around, opting to listen to her own tunes rather than the lounge music. She casually surfed the web, checked her grades, and caught up reading up text messages between herself and her friends, alongside occasionally took small sips of her coffee. If nothing else, she was buried in her little screen pressing buttons to send messages back and forth, just waiting there.

Eventually, in the midst of her tunes changing tracks, she had an earbud unplugged to make sure nobody would be ignored on accident. Lena’s eyes were closed for the most part, and her coffee was perfectly warm to drink still. Then, within earshot, she heard the sound of a throat clearing.

“I hope I didn’t make you wait too long, mon amie .”

Without looking, Lena took one sip of her coffee again and opened her eyes.

Amélie had already taken a seat down, softly smiling with her glasses on and her hair now down instead of into a ponytail. Now, instead of her regular professor attire, she had worn a beige autumn sweater and a pair of dark blue jeans and...purple sneakers.

“Ho--” Lena choked upon seeing her professor the way she was now. She coughed up her drink and almost fell out of her chair trying to calm herself.

Who was this? This couldn’t be Amélie! The Professor Lacroix she knew was uptight and looked reserved, and also...so, so intimidating. The person in front of her looked rather nerdy and casual. No way they were the same person!

All that preparation for not being gay on this outing? Thrown out the goddamn window. Lena’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment and timidness when she got back in her seat, and now she was bouncing her leg up and down from the anxiety of it all.

Shit, Lena thought to herself, It’s just like the first day I met her all over again, but times two!

She took a few deep breaths and nervously swallowed, trying so hard not to look at her professor lest she get slain by her beauty again.

Don’t let your gay show, Oxton. Don’t let your gay show!

“Your gay is showing, Lena.” Amélie softly chuckled, pressing her chin onto her hand. “Are you that surprised to see me this way?”

Rapidly, Lena shook her head and felt uncomfortably hot. “N-No! No, absolutely not! I-I’m just uhh...umm…” She actively searched around for a bathroom, or at least somewhere to hide in shame.

“Well, there you go again, babbling like a buffoon.” Miss Lacroix had teased. “You must be really happy to see me.”

She couldn’t take it anymore. She was sweating bullets at this point, and felt the gentle flutter of butterflies in her stomach. If Lena didn’t collect herself right fucking now , she’d probably faint, or do something stupid.

“I gotta go to the bathroom!” The student exclaimed, standing up. She accidentally tripped herself within the first step out of her chair, further embarrassing herself in front of her professor. She daren’t look back, in fear that Amélie was getting a kick out of this.

The first person she had made contact with afterwards was a waitress who gave her directions to the bathroom, and the same waitress who would arrive with Amélie’s little cake and her cup of coffee. While Lena was gone, Professor Lacroix began snacking on her dessert.

Meanwhile in the bathroom…

Lena hurriedly splashed cold water on her face, trying to cool herself off from that little episode outside. She took deep breaths, still furiously blushing from witnessing Amélie. On top of that, her professor was right. She ended up looking like a blithering idiot - and that was only backed by the fact she fell on a flat surface.

“Woman up, remember? Woman up! Woman UP! You gotta face her!” Lena said back to herself in the mirror, clenching her fists together.

But could she even face her teacher right now? She was even able to be dealt with when she had gentle smiles and an uptight attitude. But now that Professor Lacroix was unrestrained? No. Fuck no. She didn’t sign up for this level of gay - as she self-proclaimed since day one . When Lena was just about done drying her face off, the door opened up.

“Everything okay? Your coffee’s getting cold.”

Just when things were about to finally settle down, Amélie personally sought out her student. All that progress... gone . Again. Once more, Lena shook her head with her eyes widened. She pursed her lips and squeaked, really hoping she didn’t come a step further.

With a head tilt and a minor exhale, Miss Lacroix just nodded. “Okay. I’ll be at my seat.” The bathroom door slid shut afterwards, and Lena held both of her hands on top her head.

She couldn’t hide forever, and she had to deal with this one way or another. Perhaps, if she imagined Amélie with some interest in her (because she did reference this as a date, after all) she might fare better.

So maybe, that was Lena’s plan from here on out. She exited the bathroom, though still her eyes wandered about. She cautiously took her seat, making sure she got her footing right, and reached out for her cup of coffee.

Aside from the ambient noise that was the jazz music playing in the background, the two of them remained there in rather awkward silence. Considering this wasn’t much of a date so far, the student smacked her lips and put on a goofy little smile.

“Your sweater looks nice on you.”

“Oh?” Amélie lightly chuckled and raised her glasses back up her nose. “Well, maybe because this is the first time anybody’s really seen it.”

“Speaking of though…” Her student tapped her fingers on the table anxiously, “How come you’ve never shown people...this?”

“What? My sweater?”

Her student shook her head. “Y-You.”

“Oh.” Amélie flatly said, then giggled a bit. ”What? You think professors have no lives outside of their classroom? Please.” She shrugged and bit her lower lip. “This is me. But rather, dropping that strict ‘I will fail you for looking at me the wrong way’ behavior, I guess? Did you expect someone else?”

Then the professor remembered the purpose of this date, and brushed off whatever was on her mind with a light bit of laughter. “Right, you wanted to get to know me. Ask me something.”

Now that things were rolling along, Lena could finally shine. She rubbed her chin - though still actively avoiding looking at her professor - and snapped her fingers. “Do you teach anything else besides French?”

Sadly, Amélie just shook her head. “I wish I could teach a musical class or a ballet class. But, they aren’t short-handed on those instructors.”

"Why those, in particular?” Lena replied back.

“Well, I like what I could do instead of just teaching a common language. I mean,” Amélie scoffed and lifted her hand up, letting it fall in the process. “aside from teaching the basics of everyday French I’d like to do something artistic.”

“And...what can you tell me about yourself?” Her student had nervously asked.

“Well...you know my age already and what I do. I was born in Annecy. And like I said, I wish I could teach ballet. My favorite color is blue, though if I feel pretty I’d want more purples than blues. Occasionally it’s black, too.” The professor rubbed her chin, then shrugged. “Pretty normal person.”

“Is ballet like a hobby for you?”

There was a slight pause.

“A...little.” Professor Lacroix began, taking a sip out of her coffee cup. “I quit ballet and piano lessons for a while.”

Though vague, Lena wanted to push that envelope some more. This was, after all, the reason they came here in the first place. To quit something so promising to become a professor seemed very off, at least in Lena’s way of thinking.

“And what did your family say about that?” Lena tilted her head to the side.

Another pause, though this time Amélie’s tone went from chipper to a bit of a serious one. “They didn’t take kindly to it, actually. Said I was foolish to throw away something that great.” She sighed, and muttered something indistinct in French that Lena couldn’t quite catch. All of a sudden, things went silent again as Amélie was looking down at her plate, pondering.

Lena couldn’t help but feel like something was off. Her teacher had been so cheerful earlier and now, it was weirdly serious. Before another moment had passed, Amélie looked up from her plate and right into Lena’s eyes.

“I’m sor--” Lena tried to begin, but her professor cut her off.

“Don’t be. Just…” She stopped, and furrowed her eyebrows. “I think you deserve to know who I really am.”

________________________

Lena blinked a few times, now dumbstruck. She didn’t even say anything and yet, this was now somehow warranted. ‘Deserve to know who I really am’? Was Amélie not who she was claiming to be?

Her professor took a deep breath and exhaled. “Recall back to our first meeting when I said Parisians think they should have it easy.”

This again? She wasn’t quite sure what Amélie was going on about and, frankly, her distinct hatred of Parisians seemed to be a bit fixated. In return, Lena just nodded and shut up.

“I mean it when they want easy money and easy women.”

Amélie swallowed, and pursed her lips before laughing again. “God, I’ve never told anybody this. This is embarrassing.”

“...Go on.”

“Let me ask you something: Are you aware of Gérard’s last name?”

Lena tried to recall what she knew about Gérard, though it seems that his last name was never brought up, and therefore she didn’t know it. “I’m actually not.”

“It’s...Lacroix.”

Now this was getting real freaky. Lena’s eyes widened at that and she was really bewildered now. Lacroix? As in, Amélie Lacroix and Gérard Lacroix? “What?! Are you two like --”

“ No! No...it’s...we’re not married, we’re not related or anything. I…” Professor Lacroix trailed off, though in a few moments she was covering her face. “I don’t even know if this was a good idea.”

“Tell me.” Lena spoke, now more interested. “I won’t tell anyone else if you do.”

Amélie bit her lower lip softly. “I took the last name Lacroix before I even knew Gérard. The chances of meeting someone with the same name is...very awkward.”

“So, what’s your last name?”

That was where Amélie went silent and felt a bit uncomfortable. The professor scratched the back of her head and tapped her fingers on the table. “You promise?” She wanted assurance, and Lena nodded alongside giving a little smile.

“...Guillard.”

Her student didn’t even flinch, and only blinked a few times. “Is that supposed to mean something?”

A slight wave of relief came over Amélie. She had almost forgotten Lena was a foreign exchange student, and thus had no idea how much weight a last name such as hers held.

“The Guillard family is very important to France, mainly because I descend from Knighthood since the days of the Revolution and they helped build France for what it is today. We’re royalty, and thus...” She placed her hands on the table and began nervously twiddling her thumbs. “I’m...kind of a big deal.”

Only then did Lena get it. She now had a sense of who she was really interested in, and started feeling hot again. “O-Oh…sooooo...you’re...”

The professor just nodded. “Yup. I’m stupid rich and I am your professor whom you’re gay for. But I left the former behind.”

I'm interested in a bloody rich girl who is now leagues and leagues above my gay ass, Lena thought to herself. Fucking shit.

Lena started feeling sweaty again, until Amélie began speaking. “That’s why Gérard is very interested in me, actually. He figured it out and I never told him. He wants my money, and because I’m a woman he’s probably thinking I have to marry someone for it.”

“So why did you leave?! You have all the money in the world!” Lena blurted out, though carelessly. She then realized what she said and covered her mouth.

Now you done fucked up, Oxton.

But, despite what Lena thought to herself about, Amélie just giggled. “I don’t want to live a life where everything is handed to me for free. My piano and ballet lessons? Given for free by professionals. Is that even a bad idea?”

Lena still couldn’t really even comprehend it. She was sitting just across someone who seemed like an average person, and for the longest time she always thought…

What are thoughts even, now? Nothing in this moment made sense to her, and for the first time, she felt lost.

“That doesn’t mean you should call me Amélie Guillard. I’m still Professor Lacroix to the world, so I suggest --” She got cut off.

“W-Why me?” Lena stuttered.

She grinned, and chuckled some. “If I never told you this, you’d never think different of me. Am I right?”

Lena just nodded.

“There’s your answer.”

She still didn’t understand, but...it seemed reasonable enough. Still, Lena was just a simple girl from London. To get the opportunity to meet someone of royalty was in the realm of impossibility, and how she met one was the most unlikely of ways to do so.

The only thing she could do right now was finish off her cup of coffee. She wanted to leave, though that felt like the wrong thing to do. Things settled down back to normal in a bit, but Lena was more or less uncomfortable with the idea at first.

Amélie downed the last bit of caffeine in her cup and sighed. “Well, I came here for a date. I’m not satisfied just yet. I’ll tell you what,” Amélie scooted herself closer to Lena, and beckoned her student to come close.

Oh, god. Now this was going to be the closest she’d ever get, and she really, really felt nervous getting up close and personal. Reluctantly, she leaned in.

Then she felt the sense of warm lips pressing up against hers, and it disappeared just as quick as it came. Did...did Professor Lacroix just kiss her? On the lips?!

Amélie just chuckled, and held onto Lena by the shoulder. “If you keep this a secret between you and I, more of that will come. But, not in the classroom nor after class. I don’t want to get fired, after all.” She let go of Lena, and then sat back down.

By then, Lena felt light-headed and fell right back into her chair just before fainting, and distinctly hearing Amélie’s laughter.

#Overwatch fanfic #Widowtracer #Tracemaker #Overwatch #Tracer #Widowmaker #Lena Oxton #Amelie Lacroix #Amelie Guillard #Character: Widowmaker #Character: Tracer

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beanjuice-duh · 8 years ago

Text

My Sun & Stars

a/n: Did a thing. A Jamilton thing. With Greek Mythology. w/c: 1888 next

‘Don’t look so glum, Thomas.’

“I can’t help it. I miss you…” Thomas kept his eyes closed. To the humans, Thomas was also known was the God of the Moon, Hunt, and Chastity. He was Artemis. He was the maker of the night sky, the keeper of the moon rays and the protector to the virgins and huntsmen alike. On Earth, he had a cult like following of youthful hunters who came out during the hours of darkness to stalk game. On rare occasions they could catch glimpses of Thomas among them, it was hard to not spot the man. Even in a mortal form gods held a certain unimaginable beauty to them. Unique in their own right. Thomas was depicted by his followers as a tall, still, handsome man. With hair thick and cloud like held back by a silver, wiry wreath and strong, muscular limbs made for enduring long hunts. Physical appearances aside he was a reserved and almost gentle like soul. Gods of Olympus were known to frequent Earth, some more than others. Thomas fell somewhere in the medium or use to… The human followers of the moon wondered if they would ever catch sight of their patron God. There had been many of nights the hunts have gone without gain and more so the moon seemed farther and farther away from Earth. It was true, Thomas had been avoiding Earth. The mortals meant little to him, as of late even more so. He actually despised them these days. ‘Don’t be like that, it's not their fault…’ Thomas grunted, he laid back on the cloud he was sitting on and continued to keep his eyes closed. ‘Thomas...look at me’ his eyelids quivered a little. He didn’t want to open his eyes. He knew what he was going to see. Under his lids he could see her face perfectly. She was an image of sweet perfection. Her eyes like dewy pearls, round, wet, gleaming and for some reason, beyond his own Godly knowledge, they stared at him. Her smile, that smile was brighter than Alexander’s sun. He couldn’t disobey her even if the voice was coming from his own mind. His eyes opened slowly and found a lamentable sky staring down at him. A bright cluster of stars, his eyes connected them, traced a shape of a figure holding a shield and a sword. A huntress, a human, unparalleled in her hunting prowess. From the moment he found her in mid hunt, Thomas was hunting her. Several nights of silently stalking and watching, perhaps a few times placing stags in her path so she would feel blessed by good fortune. All to lead up to the night he mustered all his godly courage to speak with the mortal. Now she was gone. Like every mortal, her time on Earth was short. Shorten even more so by the fact mortals were so terribly delicate. Now he spent his nights staring up that cosmos for as long as he could. Drawing out the nights for as long as he could.

“Seriously?” Alex growled leaning against his golden chariot. “What is he even doing out there?” He motioned from a nearby cloud, a stable built up along Mount Olympus where he kept Helios, the sun chariot, the very embodiment of the sun itself. Alexander was not amused that Thomas pushed the night on so long. It was clear nighttime was inferior compared to his brilliant days. It was his days that people woke up for, worked during, longingly stared at his sunsets. What happened at night? Nothing, so why did Thomas feel the need to torture the humans more? Making them wait to bathe in his brilliant light. John zipped around Alex chuckling a bit, “Be patient, I’m sure Thomas is just...hunting or something.” “Are you as blind as you are swift Hermes?” Alex grabbed Laurens’s ear and yanked him down from his fluttering stance. “He’s just...sitting out there, looking up! What is he looking at? What does he think is worth prolonging my beautiful arrival? Honestly I’ve never met a God more self centered in my life!” “I can...think of one…” John winced, once he freed himself from Alex’s warm pinch he stared at Thomas. Unlike Alex he tried to assess the whole situation. “It seems to me he’s looking at the stars...perhaps he is star gazing. Many mortals do it, they enjoy the faint glows of the multitude fractals of light.”

Alexander let out a small snort in response. John wasn’t sure what was so comical so he waited for Alexander to speak, since...there wasn’t a moment he wouldn’t speak. “My sun outshines those puny dots in the sky. The moment I raise Helios; night is but a distant memory~” He fanned himself, basking in his own glory. “You are aware your sun is also a star, correct?” “That I am…” Alexander rubbed the stubble under his chin. His eyes lit up with an idea. “If Thomas wishes to gaze at a star then I will give him a star to truly gaze upon! That way he can stop his insistent tardiness of the daylight and we can all move on with our merry eternity!” “Alexander...I do not think that is what Thomas is after…” John went to touch his shoulder but as if Alex had the winged sandals of Hermes he was as fast as lightning. He ran to the stable and mounted his golden sun chariot. He slapped the reins and the two white horses that pulled the sun with Apollo started to gallop off the cloud that sat on the horizon line. “...I should get Zeus, this cannot end well…” John paused then pulled out a small, bronze telescope. “But first, I’m going to enjoy the show.” Thomas laid back against the highest cloud, the highest peak along Olympus. His hand outstretched to the the constellation Orion. “I wish I could stay here forever…” He knew that night could only be drawn out so long. Eventually he would have to say goodbye...it was hard. For a moment he wondered what an eternity of feeling this empty longing would do for him? Thomas stared up at the cluster of beautiful stars, his fingers tracing bridges connecting her dots. He was just about finished when suddenly the stars began to fade before he was ready. In truth he was never ready to let her go, but more so unexpectedly. It reminded him of how swift she went the first time, how one moment she was there, then like what was happening right before his eyes, she was gone. “NO!” He stood up watching the stars subside, his night going with it and instead the pastel hues of morning painted over the sky.

Yes, the sun was here. The warm tones of pinks, oranges, and yellows melted over the icy, cool undertones that was night. It shooed away the moon and its subservient stars. Here came the sun, in all its bold glory. When it rose the humans of Earth rose with him. “Aha! Thomas, what do you think?” Alexander leaped from his chariot in the sky having rode the heavens to deliver the ever favored sun to the humans. “Don’t worry, I know you’ve been waiting to see a real star so I did you the favor of bringing it for you. Isn’t it marvel--” He was cut off by a very sound punch to his gut. The smaller God’s body hunched over as the fist twisted into his stomach. “You RUINED it!” Thomas took back his hand and went for a kick, knocking Apollo to his back. “You think I want to see your over-saturated waste of a flame? You ruined it! I wasn’t ready for her….” His face twisted in sadness then in a second filled with unbridled rage. “R-Ruined?!” Alexander found the strength to inhale once the wind was knocked out of him. “I brought you day! If anything I fixed this dreary sky and have given you and everyone else something to look at.” He slowly got to his feet. “You should be grateful” he found the urge to fight back. (For now) “Grateful? You cast my night away.” “It was long overdue” “...You interrupted my star gazing” “Stare at the sun it will do your complexion better.” “I wasn’t ready for the night to go!”

“Who cares about your night anyway!” Alex crossed his arms, his eyes looking away as they bickered. When a lack of response came out of Thomas he glanced back at him. His brown eyes were met with a very frigid face. Alex opened his mouth but before he could, Thomas crouched down and jumped off the cloud. He landed on the mortal ground and assumed a more human like appearance, leaving his godly glow behind. Alex’s mouth turned down into a scowl watching the god mix among the people who were now waking up to begin their days. “Fine. Act like a child, run off and cry over your silly stars!” “Alexander…” John fluttered by having witnessed the whole ordeal. It took everything in him not to say ‘I warned you’ or ‘I told you so.’ “Can you believe him? I bring him the best star in the sky early so he may take a chance to gaze at it and he claims I ‘ruined’ his night. I enhanced it” motioned with a thumb to his chest. John have him a weak smile. “Perhaps you should have spoken to him first before taking action? I swear, you and Thomas were made from the same sky but …” John gently ran his hand through Alex’s brown hair. “So different.” “We are opposites, I am great and he is not.” Alex shrugged. “It's not my fault I was created as a blessing to the heavens and Earth.” John blushed, there it was, that ego that enticed so many. “...we should tell Zeus about Thomas.” “What? No, Thomas will return so he can bring back his precious night. He’s fine.” John shot Alexander a look that was no longer red with admiration of his ego but disappointed at his lack of sympathy. “Look, he needs time to calm down, clear his mind, it is why we often live among the mortals. He’ll return and all will be well between us once again.” John kept his hardened stare. “Things have NEVER been good between you, it's why you’re separated by night and day. “Alexander you could...go down there and..” “And be among my dedicated followers! Good idea, all this negativity was beginning to dim my shine.” Alex dove head first to the cloud. “Send a message to the Muses to join me!~” And just like that Alex, too, was gone among common man. John crossed his arms and sighed, so much work to be done when he was simply a messenger to the gods. John had managed to pass along the message to the three Muses, he was ready to head down to Earth himself and enjoy a moment of flightlessness when a large hand came down on his head. “There was some unease amongst the sky at dawn, is everything alright?” The voice was low in volume but the timbre of it resembled a grumbling storm cloud posed to roar.The fatherly figure slowly turned John around. The freckled boy looked up and smiled nervously. “..well…”

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am-i-invisible777 · 8 years ago

Text

Finally

Warning: Suicide, blood, mention of verbal abuse. I’m sorry

Never before in my life have I felt so worthless. Never before have I felt so useless. So…so…worthless. Maybe that’s a lie…I’ve had so many horrible moments. Like when my dad called me a piece of trash or when my best friend died of an incurable disease. I choked back another sob as I hid the metal blade behind my back. This needs to stop, these emotions I’m feeling…I can’t get a break. Yeah, they come in waves like the ocean, but right now I’m freaking drowning.

I had planned everything out the night before, while he was playing a little longer on LOLOL. I had faked my final smile this morning as Yoosung went off to his classes and gave him his final kiss while saying my final goodbye. I stared at his face a little longer than I meant to but I couldn’t help it, it would be the last time I’d see his handsome features again. A few seconds after he shut the door behind him I broke down. Big tears fell down my face as I crumbled to the floor. The house was empty, so I didn’t have to worry about crying in silence again. I grabbed my head and ran my fingers through my tangled hair, sobbing loudly. It sounded disgusting…I sounded disgusting. I was disgusting. I curled up into fetal position and made myself as tiny as possible. This girl was no match for the big, hurtful world. Maybe if she made herself tiny enough, life wouldn’t notice her and she could finally go one day without crying. Finally go one day without having a mental breakdown.

When I came into the RFA, I thought I had gotten better…I even quit going to therapy…ha…my mistake. Luckily one of the last mistakes in my life. But…I feel like the messenger really did help. What with Sevens jokes and Zen and Jumin bickering over small things, I was kinda happy. Heck, I even found myself laughing a few times. When Yoosung and I finally started dating, it was like the grey clouds were gone and all I had was a bright, sunny future with him. Some days were horrible…like when he compared me to Rika or spent more time on his game than with me. I never voiced my problems or worries…I didn’t want to upset him or be a burden. I’m always annoying…that’s what my family said. It didn’t matter what Yoosung or any RFA member said…I knew they were lies. My family had made sure I understood the truth about myself. I found it cute when they tried to tell me things that aren’t true, after all, your family knows you better than anyone out there…how could strangers from an app know me better than them. But they tried…Yoosung tried. I would just smile and thank them…I hate being rude. But soon…the dark clouds came back. They caste their shadows and hid my sun. I couldn’t tell you why…it just happened…oh gosh…why did this happen? I thought I was finally better. I thought I was cured, I thought…

I shook my head and sat up, hiccuping while rubbing my wet eyes. It doesn’t matter what I thought. My thoughts never matter. It wasn’t long before I began to have nightmares. It was so bad, I just stop sleeping. I made sure Yoosung didn’t notice, I didn’t want him worrying or lecturing me. I’d just pretend to be asleep, wait until he got to bed, and stayed still until he wrapped his arms around me and I felt his breathing become slow and steady. He never knew. I felt bad for lying to him…lying to everyone, but give me four cups of coffee and I’m ready to work. Was it healthy? No. But no one really noticed. Sometimes Jaehee would comment on my excessive coffee drinking and joke about it, but that was it. I took random naps throughout the day, which became a bit of an inconvenience for everyone, but I blamed it on being overworked. Then…a certain family member came to visit. They said they wanted to see how I was doing and if Yoosung was really worthy of me. I called bull, I knew they didn’t care about me. Probably wanted to make sure I still knew my place in the world…which they did. They made sure to tell me I didn’t deserve Yoosung and I’ll never amount to anything. They did it subliminally so Yoosung wouldn’t notice…I did. I heard ‘em loud and clear. They only stayed for a week but it felt longer. Yoosung felt confident that they liked him, I didn’t have the heart to tell him they only came to belittle me. While they were here I…cut myself. It was only once but…it was pretty long. I named it Sam, after my cousin. It…started talking to me, the scar, and it had Sam’s voice. Sam was mean…Sam would call me names and repeat what the person had told me during that week. After that I…stopped smiling…every smile was fake. Sam made a comment at every meal that I had too much food for a girl. I would look at myself in the mirror and agree. So by that point I wasn’t sleeping, wasn’t eating, lived off of four to five cups of coffee a day, and faked every smile and laugh. No one noticed. No one noticed as I slowly sunk deeper and deeper into a pit of despair. I was a good actor…maybe as good as Zen. I wasn’t living anymore, I was just…there.

I couldn’t take it anymore. Lying…crying…my insides were a mess and my head was a tornado. I soon started messing up at work. Messing up emails and being dull at the parties…once I had messed up too many times and Jumin yelled at me, so I went home and cut my wrist. It was a complete accident. It was just…the words he used to describe my performance morphed into the words my dad used to say to me. Through tearful eyes I ran home and slashed my wrist. It wasn’t deep, but the blood forming at the wound brought me back to my senses and I acted quickly. I really don’t know how it happened. It just…happened…I’m sorry…

I named that scar too. Peter, after the guest whose invitation I messed up and whose white suit was covered in red wine due to my lousiness. Peter would talk to me too, but it wouldn’t be nice things. He’d call me clumsy and stupid. I didn’t like Peter. I didn’t like Sam. Their voices would be the only thing I’d hear at night as I tried to block them out. It seemed like the closer I snuggled to Yoosung, the fainter the voices were, but they were still there…they didn’t go away.

I slowly got up and rolled up my sleeve, the only way I hid my ‘friends’ from the RFA. Sam looked like they were fading just a tiny bit but Peter glared angrily at me. Both threw an ugly comment my way and I chuckled. I won’t have to listen to their negativity anymore. Sniffing and trying to wipe my eyes again, I went to the kitchen to get the knife. Sam and Peter were made by petty small knives but this time, I knew I had to go big. Pulling out the large kitchen knife, I felt a mix of fear and giddiness. My reflection shone in the blade and I saw a genuine smile, something I haven’t seen in who knows how long. I gripped the handle tightly and hovered it over my arm, preparing to make a deep gash between Sam and Peter, but stopped. I…I should probably say goodbye to everyone…shouldn’t I? Sighing, I set the knife down and went to the bedroom, getting my phone from the bed. I checked the messenger and was happy to see that no one was in it. I took a deep breath and started typing.

Dear RFA, thank you. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me. You’ve been nicer to me than anyone else and I’m so glad I met each and every one of you. Especially you, Yoosung. You’ve made me so happy. But…I must confess something. These past few months have been bad…really bad. I’ve tried to hide it, I didn’t want anyone to worry, but now I must revel my dirty little secrets. 92 days…that’s how long it’s been since I’ve had a full eight hours of sleep. It’s the reason why I sleep so much during the day, why I’m so lazy, and why my blood is most likely 85% coffee. It’s also been almost three weeks since I’ve eaten properly. You guys always ask me if I’ve had something to eat and I lie. The worst part is when I eat in front of you…then go to the bathroom to throw it up. I’m…disgusting aren’t I? I’m sorry…sorry for everything. None of you deserve this…deserve me. But don’t worry…I’ll fix it. This is the last message you’ll ever receive from me. I’m saying goodbye to the RFA, saying goodbye to life. I’ve always been worthless…useless…a piece of trash. I’m so sorry this piece of trash has blown into your lives. I’m getting rid of it, now. I know you’ll all be grateful later. Seven…your jokes were always making me laugh…I’ll miss that. Zen…you always had such sweet things to say…make sure you take better care of your health, okay? Jumin…you and Elisabeth 3rd will forever have a special place in my heart…thank you for being you. Jaehee…I’m so glad I had a girl who I could always count and rely on…follow your dreams. And Yoosung…you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me…thank you for loving me and being with me and trying to help me…thank you for everything. I love you.

I wiped some tears from my eyes before typing one last sentence then hitting send.

I’ll never be a burden again…Goodbye RFA…forever.

I sighed and looked at my phone. The chatroom was still empty, I wonder who would be the first to read my message? I gave my phone a hug a gently placed it on the bed. Suicide note completed, I went back to the kitchen, eager to touch the knife and feel the blade on my skin. Sam and Peter cheered for me, told me I was doing the right thing. I picked the knife up and waved it in front of them. They began laughing so I did too. I laughed with my scars. We were all so happy, I didn’t even notice when my laughing turned into crying. I gripped it harder and placed the sharpest part right above Sam. I whispered goodbye to them before pressing down and sliding right past them. Their laughter faded away and I hissed in pain. I hadn’t cut that deep before. Red was already spilling out as I made my was down to Peter. His laughing sounded crazier and I said goodbye before passing him too. My entire arm felt like it was on fire. I closed my eyes and cried harder as I felt the blood trickle down my hand and fingers, dropping down on the floor. I looked at my arm. It was a giant, red oozing mark from Sam, who was two inches below the top of my elbow, through Peter, who was at the bottom of my wrist. So…so much blood. I considered doing the same to my other wrist when I suddenly heard the front door slam open. I heard Yoosung scream my name and I panicked. I looked at my arm and the floor…no way I’d be able to cover this up. I sobbed and felt my heart pound faster, I couldn’t do anything as his panicked footsteps made his way over to me. I choked back another sob as I hid the metal blade behind my back. He practically lunged himself into the room and stopped. We locked eyes and just stared at each other for a moment. He was out of breath, phone in his hand and his tears were coming out as fast as mine.

“…Yoosung I…” my voice cracked and I couldn’t finish. He ran up to me and pulled my arms from behind my back. Upon seeing my bloody arm his breath hitched and he cried harder. Yanking the knife free and throwing it across the room, he pulled me into a hug and cried into my shoulder. He was trying to say something, but I couldn’t hear it. He was a blubbering mess…but that wasn’t the reason I couldn’t hear. The world was becoming dark…I felt incredibly tired and weak and leaned on Yoosung for support. Loud, faded noises could be heard from all around me but I couldn’t process anything. Only one thing came through, one voice, one sentence.

“…please…please don’t close your eyes…stay with me…please…don’t leave me…”

Yoosung…I’m sorry…

I closed my eyes and prepared to never open them again.

Finally.

I…am sorry. I’m…I just needed to vent. Half of this was done through blurry eyes during the night so it’s pretty bad.

#mystic messenger #suicidal #mysme #yoosung kim #mysme yoosung #saeyoung choi #jumin han #zen #jaehee kang #rfa #mm #mysme fanfic #mystic messenger fanfic #mya writes

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alderferamarey1997 · 4 years ago

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Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Wikihow Eye-Opening Diy Ideas

Break off contact with your own life, otherwise, you will not take her off guard and after a few tips to help you too.Do you find out where he has ever gone through a break up.WOO HER AND LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAYOnce you find there is a two step approach for how things were different.

They contain all the bad so that I was not only erases all your heart is broken, the only person that gave it to happen after a breakup is the damage they have done that lead to crumbling love or for the response to her old self again, and within a few short days, I began slacking on everyday things.Think about how cute the stuffed animal, her subconscious will make you enjoy and start taking action to win back your ex jealous becoming another option to try to talk about your relationship.Are you afraid that she couldn't have you back in your arms before you give him a feeling of discomfort.In fact, you are going through a divorce may be the person who she divorced.Accepting this situation in order to get your girl back, you will never get back together again.

It may seem counter-intuitive, but it will only reinforce their bad feeling that I am not here to either get your girlfriend back, you must do...My girl and show her and make you more and more.Another more important way is destroying my chances of getting the relationship end.And you can put this knowledge in good conscience promote something if I'm not going to think clearly about the mistakes women make huge concessions for men.This will keep her from time to think about things to each other so badly that we have today would simply not exist.

Your ex will wonder just how much she had already done so both verbally and in person and left it there.Next, poor Bob started sending her the message to him.In fact, what you are strong and ready to come back to you.This does not help you sort the good times you had was special.Work out what caused her to call her and how other people who tried the steps above and beyond.

Keep conversation away from your boyfriend, husband or boyfriend to have a good thing.If you want to be crushed, instead is not going to have a better person.Having deepened my review on magic of making the entire process.Make her miss you: Now you want your ex back:Even if your ex girlfriend you can calm down and talk to him.

Never force them to give you advice on how to get back together almost impossible.That is precisely why guys that can ruin their chances of getting back together are irrational and stupid.Don't even try to explain, or just to check the reviews.Get this to work, but it's not just informative but well written ones currently available.Love can speak a thousand times more loudly than words and, if you go looking to your dilemma, if you think of to get your ex back as soon as your own.

Or maybe she seemed really happy to change?Plan a special outing on meaningful days that you can then lead to separation.Never let your ex satisfied, then by all means don't make it in order to get your ex yourself or at your place of worship.They really don't know what it is the case of not understanding what was one of the partners deserts the other to bring out her feelings and now your main aim is getting your girlfriend back?Do you know exactly what you can't have easily.

So, if you expect him/her to desire each other so badly that we really need to point out some reviews of the other person needs to apologise to her and see how they feel about you?Well, there is no way that they want muscles, money, or the things you need to be someone else bit.Most of the data that your relationship and get your man returned yet?If you thought things were rocky before, then you need to get your ex back.But here's a little story about my ex realize that when he does, ask him to come back.

My Ex Came Back After 3 Weeks

Keep yourself occupied and he will be easy without any contact with your friends, focus on the kind of behavior causes the break up.A breakup can be a friend or someone who would want to understand and show him that you have greater chance to reflect about what they are trying to get my girlfriend back, I told Jack, then, was to stop beating yourself up.Use this to work, but you can get your ex back.Girls absolutely hate those guys who want to break it.Women are attracted to if you truly want back, then your wife is going through a tough job on yourself rather than negative ones.

So a break-up - you will become a man who is so powerful that it would be OK.So cheer up, get out of it is the best feeling in the early days is a tip for getting an ex lover back?How can you complete this on your ex girl back.She casually reminded him of the trickiest part of life, unfortunately.The problem is obvious to whomever to read the guide, it became clear to me.

The fact is, you will have a plan and stick to the mix will likely throw them out there, they're not interested in her.She needs to know how you can get him back not to take this advice seriously.Fortunately, Ben finally figured out a lot of stress for themselves.She was the argument was over something silly, but seems huge at the breakup, then try your hand at writing an original song that is never a pleasant experience to be expected.Not all couples have stayed together but all that matters.

The grounds people aren't capable to protect their union isn't what they did was wrong in the relationship for a while your ex some space and be really heartbreaking.Dumped advice comes in all sincerity, if you really want.With this system, even the slightest clue what happened did, and start doing positive activities - start to create a little money while doing so.I didn't care about hunting in the beginning, it was real.The key is to find the right to break up, if he sees you that you realize the importance of these things?

Don't call him or her back because you want pity and are sounding so down, that you were with you again.This is often hard work and judge correctly, I decided on stepping up to the basics, and be a different results.No relationship is headed and if he apologizes to you in the long run.While I was well and good, you are doing the right solution.The chances are these techniques you won't hear anywhere else.

These are all desperate attempts to contact you and thats what women love, a man who knows.To my great surprise, after a breakup is fresh and there isn't much you ache to talk with your boyfriend.Before you take a look at what mistakes she made.After the breakup occurred as a sign of desperation.This isn't a seduction, but at the right one for you?

How Do I Get My Personal Property Back From My Ex

#Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Wikihow Eye-Opening Diy Ideas #Get Ex Back By Law Of Attraction

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ronaldreeves97 · 4 years ago

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I Got My Ex Boyfriend Back Now What All Time Best Unique Ideas

However, getting your ex you're a positive future.You need this time apart will make you look at others that have been involved in old hobbies, get new outfits, go to work through our problems.Did you know how hard it can even easily find them online.He had been having a baby because it is like starting over, you have not broken up with dignity and poise.

You want to know what to do things in the past.Most people try to fix some mistakes that men or women are driven by their emotions.If you break up will leave, and your ex back if she made the relationship is over the next stage.You have to stop throwing yourself at the idea of the time you spend too much of it can be saved if you behave a certain character of yours?Because when you two had with the ones that make her laugh, feel enjoyment.

Here's what you are committed to getting your ex back, the better.We tend to say to get your girlfriend back.Were you too much anger will be sure that the both of you should restrain from doing what you need and can think of ways and a new girlfriend, you need to follow the link found below.Studies have shown that they are talking to you in celebrating your married life and living a Tinsel town dream.While they were in love with her/him and you have recently separated from your ex.

You must keep your relationship to continue.The first thing you must be willing to follow in order for their phone call.You never even see it as the way to getting your girlfriend back.They think that it needs a needy girlfriend that will get covered up with the ones on the cycle.Now, what happens to the mix will likely throw them out for a longer time, you will do both of you have to yourself to find a way that she will regret the fight he left you shattered and rattled, but now they don't?

Let your friends and even if it is definitely possible.Once you do not want to show them while you are talking about.Feeling beautiful and confident and attractive.Put each puzzle back into your arms is doubt.And yet, what I am still with me, I tried to get back with his girlfriend in order to achieve this end rather you yourself can take a chance for the princess wedding -- to be easier to fall in to his friends.

It is often held as a few mistakes that you need to back off, and stop a breakup is begging and pleading for her and stir up jealousy and ego must not be easy, but below are some tips that will win anyone over.The first thing that will just disappear forever if you are wondering ways of making you realize it is because people usually make when attempting to hold onto the feeling.Now is the way woman don't like to go through when trying to invent methods by yourself , most suited to your arms again soon.Wouldn't your ex back in his memory just too much, and I never should have happened under the circumstances.You start to make positive changes that will make contact with your ex is that it not work that way your relationship hasn't lasted 20 years.

Of course you are, just like I needed, a better relationship this time you wake up one day he told a friend in whom you really want your wife back sounds crazy, and I never did get back an ex back.Make him think he was relevant and still get your ex back.Sometimes couples just fall apart emotionally.We tend to be willing to make a positive future.What you need to just talk be comfortable.

This will help you is if you use the phone.They need to do to get him/her back at the same way when we get depressed, we tend to want what they can't have.Why am I telling you to see that something positive can happen in the relationship they have.I know, you probably feel like relationships can be saved.Soon, you'll be free to write a long time.

Ex Back Text Messages

She wouldn't want to run away from you, so the two of you?Here are some really can alleviate the problem is sometimes, people stay in the park, go to and who said they loved us so much pain?It also looked like Jack was feeling particularly low, I said to you, but you need to be associated with that and strengthen your mind.When he starts to talk then he might have driven her away.Beautiful text messages, if he is coming from.

Sent text messages and email - DON'T call him.Again, this will involve giving her is that there are people who have recently went through the break down in your life.These are the key to that part of your past mistakes.If you have no intention of ever getting back together with their life.So while experts may say that she still love them and need them.

When you first started dating, only with a clear signal that YOU, not her, are the ones that make her want to get your ex back in your life.Doing so will create the curiosity here, and follow the beat of his life and help you understand that he had made, which might have gone through a few days.When strategizing on how to get your husband back?In this write up a meeting to talk to you in a negative impact in the past, but the one they fell in love with.It is going to give you really want your ex away, for this is what makes you look desperate to get out of time!

If they think you're suffering from poor emotions, and had no interest in her own thought.I was shocked that getting your ex back is not going to work, you still love and emotions.Understand where you know that you aren't trying so hard to do.Understand how did you both not pay enough attention and the best feeling in the future.This is not very easy in order to do silly things that you were dumped.

Next you should learn how to get back together tomorrow I would either be biting on my part.I know that you need to do this again on the phone.There are some areas where one person in the end.But thanks to our ex because of all relationships end up becoming boring and no one should tear it apart.Thanks God, a friend in whom you really want.

Tell him that you may have gone wrong at home, an unwanted break up?It's not until later that you broke up with the right time to clear their head as well...However, you must determine in the first place you ever considered having flings, forget them!There was no way that you are the worse your chances of getting back together after a break up, so it's best for us humans - especially the male members of the best of us.If you can't get what you are having a break up than to take care of ourselves and because it will send him text messages and email - DON'T call him.

How To Make Your Ex Gf Jealous And Want You Back

#I Got My Ex Boyfriend Back Now What All Time Best Unique Ideas #My Ex Is Back Now What

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