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tuanhood · 4 years

Text

hypnotic | part one

paring: vampire!im jaebeom x reader

genre: angst, eventual smut (part two), vampire au

warnings: language, cringey vampire cliches i’m sure

word count: 9,800+

summary: jaebeom has been waiting 200 years to find his mate - the one who can break his trance and isn’t affected by his hypnotic abilities. You don’t seem to be that person, but he just can’t seem to get you out of his mind… why?

a/n: hello guys! so i originally had this planned to post tomorrow (the 30th) but it was so long i decided to split it up and post one part today and the other part on the 31st! This first part is mostly Jaebeom and not a lot of Y/N but SO BE IT. This is also my first time writing in the genre of vampire/fantasy loL so please forgive me because it’ll probably be cringe and not make sense. if that’s the case lol drop me a message!! also vampire jaebeom was requested FOREVER ago. so here it is practically 3 decades later. and i attempted to make a banner. if someone can make me a better one it’s v much WELCOME.

part two

Knock Knock Knock

He wished he could just pretend like he was asleep. He wished he could use that as an excuse to not answer the door, but based on the very strong feeling he was getting from who was behind it – that wouldn’t work.

“I know you’re in there! Just answer the damn door Jaebeom!”

Jaebeom rolled his eyes, leave it to Bambam to be at his front door before the day even had a chance to truly begin. Before letting him in, he went through all the possible things or excuses he could use to get out of whatever his younger friend had in mind.

“Is your vintage YSL here or is it still at the dry cleaners?” Bambam asked, pushing past Jaebeom as soon as he has the door partway open.

Gruffly, Jaebeom turned back into his apartment to Bambam already halfway to his bedroom – no doubt to look through his closet, “What are you doing here Bam?”

“What does it look like? I’m here for the vintage YSL asshole!”

He’s learned by now that it’s better to let him do his thing – whatever that may mean. So instead of following Bambam, he plopped down onto the same couch he’s had for nearly 15 years. “You know when I first bought that shirt it wasn’t considered vintage!”

Jaebeom waited for a response, but instead, he was met with silence. After a few moments – many of them thinking about how maybe it was time to replace the couch – he felt his “vintage” YSL button-down hit him in the face.

He groaned; the impact was surely going to create wrinkles in the material he tried to keep in pristine condition. It was ironic since he was often heard making fun of how much Bambam cared about clothes, but Jaebeom liked to keep his things nice. “Bam I just got it back from getting cleaned a couple of days ago.”

“Put it on.”

The tone of his friend’s voice seemed rather impatient. If he had closed his eyes, Jaebeom would have thought he was talking to Jinyoung or even himself.

“Why do I need to put it on? It’s 8 in the morning; where are we going?”

“Um excuse me? Did you forget what day it was? Now come on, we’re meeting Jinyoung at that new café down the street in fifteen.”

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, trying to picture the café on the mental map he keeps in his mind, “the one that used to be a video store in the 90s?”

Bambam made his way into the living room, picking up a few glasses that rested on the coffee table Jaebeom’s feet were on top of, and marched over to the small kitchen. Jaebeom has lived in this apartment more years than he’d like to admit, especially because enough time had passed that the neighbors he had were clearly aging and he just stayed 26. The thought of moving somewhere new often enters his mind, but with this place, he just can’t bring it in himself to go quite yet. It’s almost as though something is tying him to this city, this place – like he’s waiting for something.

“Yes, and a speakeasy in the 20s both of which are not important right now because we live in the 21st century Jaebeom. Now come on, Jinyoung’s waiting – that asshole is always early.”

He heard Bambam mumble something along the lines of known him 100 years, would it kill him to just be on time for once, as he furiously dropped the glasses on the kitchen counter.

“Do I have to go?”

Bambam paused his motions of putting Jaebeom’s dirty dishes into the sink to stare the older vampire down, “Jaebeom you only turn 200 once.”

He scoffed in response, “Jesus don’t remind me.”

“We have to make a whole day of it! So please just put the shirt on, because I want you looking presentable,” he stopped in the middle of his sentence, suddenly wiggling his eyebrows, “you never know what could happen.” The final word is drawn out, almost sing-song like and it drives Jaebeom up the wall because he knows exactly what Bambam is referencing.

For Jaebeom and those like Jaebeom, they didn’t consider the day they were born as their birthday, but instead as the day they turned. There was no point in celebrating their birth anymore as they were no longer alive. However, at this point after 200 birthdays, – alive and dead combined - Jaebeom was beginning to believe that there was no point to those either. He always knew being immortal was a curse but day by day that idea was only solidifying itself in his mind.

Jaebeom let out a gruff breath which only made Bambam look up from the fork he was scrubbing, “Bam I don’t know what you think is going to happen today… but it certainly isn’t that.”

The “that” he was referencing was one of the main factors that as of late had made him feel like living forever was indeed a waste. It was the thing that was supposed to make him feel “complete.” According to old texts and traditional vampire folklore, he was now walking around half full, but once he met his mate, he would become whole. At first, he didn’t believe the tale. He had gotten by so far without a mate that the idea of him not being complete made him laugh. But watching both Bambam and Jinyoung find their mates – Bambam 70 years ago and Jinyoung 16 years ago – made him finally acknowledge and reflect on the piece of himself he was missing.

And fuck he was lonely.

Bambam chuckled at him as if being in on his own personal joke. His friend was strange like that sometimes, “just put the shirt on Jaebeom.”

By the time he’s had the shirt on and Bambam has somehow convinced him to let him wear his Rolex he got as a gift from his friend Jackson in 1920, Jaebeom feels mentally prepared to leave the house and embark on this dreadful day. The reminder that he has now been around for 200 years and still is not whole.

“Finally,” Jinyoung sighed when Jaebeom and Bambam finally reached the café down the street, “I’ve been waiting 20 minutes.”

A disgruntled Bambam checks his watch, “well if you don’t want to wait every single time, don’t be so fucking early,” he promptly turned to Jaebeom to share his grief regarding their friend, “you think he would learn after all this time.”

“Let’s just go order,” Jaebeom shrugged, not caring to be in another disagreement between his longer than life friends.

“Be honest you’re early on purpose just so it gives you something to complain about and a reason to make us feel bad!”

Jinyoung ignored Bambam’s theory, replying to the oldest, “no need. I already ordered for the three of us. It’s a special day, the birthday boy doesn’t need to pay,” he glanced at Bambam, “you on the other hand…”

The two new arrivals, flop down into the sofa chairs on either side of Jinyoung, along of them situated to make a half-circle in front of a low coffee table. The three of them had somehow stuck into this… pattern. Years of friendship that contained years of Bambam/Jinyoung squabbles that Jaebeom would often have to mediate. Patterns were nice, but sometimes they would get old – especially after so long.

As the two of them argue over whether or not Bambam should pay Jinyoung back for a simple iced Americano because Bam swears he got the drinks the last two times, Jaebeom looks over to the counter where the baristas work on – no doubt – the plethora of orders they have. The factor of the café being new has certainly been the cause of the popularity and amount of people in the shop. He can’t help but feel bad for the individuals working on the drinks – three years ago he had been one of them for roughly 18 months and knew that it wasn’t as easy as it appeared to be.

In retrospect, Jaebeom didn’t have to work. He had so much time to learn and understand what it meant to be financially responsible. Not only that, but he’s literally had hundreds of years to save. Plus, his early investments in companies ended up landing him some pretty substantial and valuable shares. Jaebeom was sitting on quite the pretty penny.

“Wow your portfolio is remarkable… I’ve never seen one like it,” his latest financial advisor had said to him in complete awe, “I mean an early investor in Amazon? Apple? Mastercard?”

Jaebeom had laughed nervously, “What can I say? My grandpa had good intuition, I guess.”

Money aside, he had wanted something to do with his time – hence his barista job. It was fun, but like most things, Jaebeom just grew tired of it and as he watched the girl working the espresso machine let out an exhausted breath, he realized that he wasn’t missing it.

Jaebeom has become good at studying people. It was something he still wasn’t sure of whether it was a vampire thing or just something he had picked up over time. Watching the girl at the machine, her hair is in a low bun, a few strands falling in front of her face. It’s clear with the way the hair tie is situated, that the hairstyle was once a bit neater, tighter, and sat at the middle or even top of her head. However, the now fallen placement and slight disarray signal how busy she’s been working and how fried she must be feeling.

He looks to the string bracelet on her wrist, visible from far away enough for Jaebeom to conclude that she must have someone in her life deemed important to wear one of those “friendship” bracelets. He never saw the point, but humans were strange creatures, despite him once being one.

Jaebeom’s breath hitches when he catches sight of the delicately drawn tattoo on her wrist near the bracelet. It’s of lavender and it immediately reminds him of his mother who had loved exploring the lavender field that had been near his home when he was a child. Despite all the time that has passed since he lost his mother, the pain that aches inside of Jaebeom when he thinks of her isn’t any less.

His thoughts are interrupted by the call at the coffee bar, “Order for Jinyoung.”

The call comes from the overworked girl he had been studying and Jaebeom wants more than anything to stand up and retrieve their orders. He finds a weird want to hear what her laugh sounds like. Maybe he could say something or strike up a conversation that would-

“What are you doing?” It takes Jaebeom a moment to notice that he has partially stood up from his chair as if he’s about to go somewhere. Cluelessly, he replied, “going to get the drinks.”

The youngest shook his head, “No way! Birthday boys don’t get their drinks, they don’t lift a finger.”

He knew Bambam was one to take birthdays seriously, but this was beginning to feel like it was going the extra mile too many.

“I’ll get it.”

Jaebeom watched Bambam get up to retrieve the drinks. He expects him to just grab the drinks and return to the table, but instead, Bambam says something to the girl. Arching his neck to the side, he tries to make a clear path to eavesdrop on what’s being said, hearing being one of the benefits of turning. Unfortunately, the café is too loud for him to focus on the conversation and he’s defeated by the fact that he’ll have to stay in the dark.

The girl laughs loudly at something Bambam said and Jaebeom can’t help but feel mixed about it. On one hand, he got his wish – hearing her laugh – but on the other hand, he wasn’t the cause of it. For some reason it makes him bring his clench and unclench his fists which rest on the arms of the sofa chair. Jinyoung takes notice.

Jaebeom quickly looks down at his lap when he senses that Bambam is returning to where they’re sat, not wanting to give away that he had been staring. First, he places Jinyoung’s and his drink on the table, soon turning back around to go back and fetch the last drink – Jaebeom’s.

When he comes back, Jaebeom looks up to see a large grin spread across the youngest’s face. He has that look again – the one as if he knows a joke Jaebeom doesn’t.

The latter nodded his head in thanks for getting the drinks as he inspects his green tea on the table. Just as he’s about to pick up the mug, he’s stopped in his tracks by an announcement coming from the coffee bar.

“Hello everyone! Sorry for the interruption, but I’ve been told that we have a birthday here today,” you said. Giving announcements wasn’t your strong suit, but you figured now that you were an actual owner of something, you were going to get over your shyness. But you didn’t think it was going to be that often that a tall, skinny and pale boy with a Rolex on his wrist would be asking you to get your coffee shop to sing happy birthday for his friend. Even when you were a barista working for someone else no one had made such a request. This was a café after all, not an Applebee’s.

Jaebeom wished more than anything that he could sink into his seat and just disappear. If only that cliché that vampires turned into bats were true, then he could just fly away at a moment’s notice. Leave it to Bambam to torture him like this. It wasn’t intentional of course, but it certainly felt like it to Jaebeom.

It was especially tragic to him because the girl he had been studying was the one leading the entire café in singing “Happy Birthday.” He did his best to avoid looking at her, feeling like his entire body was heating up in embarrassment even though he couldn't heat up.

You on the other hand felt a little insulted by the birthday boy’s lack of eye contact. You hadn’t even managed to get a good look at him before you started singing and now it was not possible with the way that he was looking down at the ground, his long hair falling in front of his face, concealing itself to you. It wasn’t difficult to conclude that he felt awkward about a bunch of strangers he had never met singing him happy birthday, you had felt the same whenever your friends tried to ambush you on your birthday… but you at least looked up and acknowledged the presence of the people singing. A tight smile from this guy would even be happily accepted.

When the song is over and the claps that follow finally subside, he looks up to see the café back at its previous state of normalcy, not a single person looking at him anymore. Jaebeom lets out a sigh of relief.

“You could at least act like you liked it,” Bambam huffed in annoyance. He wished Jaebeom could appreciate the idea of birthdays like he did.

“I really didn’t need to be the center of attention today Bam.”

“But it’s your bir-” Bambam begins to explain, but Jaebeom abruptly cuts him off, not wanting to hear his reasoning for today’s antics, yet again. The day hadn’t even started.

“My birthday, I know. Thanks for reminding me.”

Jinyoung clears his throat and plays with the spoon that came with his Flat White. Just as Jaebeom is the mediator for Bambam and Jinyoung, sometimes Jinyoung has to be the mediator for Jaebeom and Bambam. Essentially the commonality in the disagreements of their trio friendship is Bambam and currently, Jinyoung feels as though he should route the conversation elsewhere.

“What else is in the cards for tonight then boys?”

It’s then based on the look on Jaebeom’s face, that Jinyoung thinks that maybe talking about the plans for tonight – on Jaebeom’s birthday – isn’t re-routing the conversation. Especially since it’s Bambam’s whose eyes light up and is the one to reply to him.

“Obviously we’re going out tonight,” Bambam paused and turned to Jaebeom, wagging his finger in the latter’s face, “there’s no way you’re getting out of this. I’m not taking no for an answer this time.”

Jaebeom rolled his eyes and didn’t respond as he knew he didn’t have a choice in the matter. He had rejected Bambam’s invitations to go out consistently for the last 6 months and on his birthday of all days, Bam was going to force him out of the house just as he had done this morning to come to the café.

He looks back to the front counter, his eyes searching for the barista who has now suddenly disappeared. A frown begins to make itself known on his face, feeling a bit disappointed by the fact that she may have left already or gone elsewhere, but soon she’s popping up from behind the counter, no doubt getting something from the cabinets below. Jaebeom feels relief.

“What did you say to her?” he asked suddenly looking back at Bambam.

He cocked his head to the side, confused, “What did I say to who?”

“The barista behind the counter.”

His friend nodded his head slowly, suddenly realizing what Jaebeom means. A smirk appears on his face, “nothing much… Just how it was your birthday and it would be really good if we could all embarrass you by singing about it. She’s not a barista, by the way, she owns the place. Kinda backward thinking there Jae. It’s the 21st century, women can own things now, they can vote.”

“I know that,” Jaebeom hissed.

Bambam puts up his hands in defeat, “I’m just making sure.”

“Don’t you know her?” Jinyoung asked, “isn’t that why we came here?”

Jaebeom’s interests are perked. It’s not often that the three of them meet new people. It’s not like there’s a huge point to it. The last new person the three of them met was Mark – also a vampire – a bartender at their favorite club in the city, but that was in 2007.

He waits for Bambam’s explanation as to how he knows this girl and why they came here specifically beside it just being near Jaebeom’s apartment.

Waving his hand nonchalantly, the Thai boy gives his answer, “I don’t really know her. Minji does. Met her in some kind of class, I think. SoulCycle? Pilates? Zumba? I don’t know. I can’t keep up with her and her activities these days.”

Minji is Bambam’s mate. He had turned her only a month after they met.

Jaebeom’s not sure what he would do if he met his mate. He doesn’t know if he would want to subject them to turning and living the same kind of life as him, but he also doesn’t know if he could continue life alone after meeting his mate. If he ever meets them.

“Why the curiosity?” Jinyoung asked, for once finding it hard to remain stone-faced. Even his usual chill, non-revealing demeanor seems to fade away when it appears that his older friend might be attracted to someone.

Jaebeom simply shrugged, “it’s nothing…”

“What do you think? Could she be the one?” Bambam asked teasingly, pointing to the girl behind the counter.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes almost immediately at the younger boy, “if you’re going to keep bothering him about it, don’t make it so obvious idiot.”

Jaebeom had been alive – or more like undead – for 200 years and more than half of that time he had to listen to this same conversation from his friends over and over again. His patience was wearing thin and 180 years later, he was tired of their pestering.

He leaned forward slowly and grabbed his green tea off the table, making sure to visibly flinch at the heat of the drink, Bambam, and Jinyoung chuckling at his reaction. Out of the three of them, Jaebeom certainly had the most practice when it came to “putting on a show” for the humans and “acting” the most human. Taking a sip, he looked back at the girl behind the counter.

The youngest vampire had spent many of their outings and conversations hypothesizing who Jaebeom’s mate could be. Despite being the oldest of the three, Jaebeom was the only one left who still hadn’t found his mate and he was beginning to feel hopeless. Typically, Bambam pointed out any human girl as a candidate – all of them of course ended up not being his mate. Therefore, Jaebeom didn’t pay attention to his picks anymore, but he had to admit… He did get a strange feeling from the girl behind the counter.

Jaebeom looked to you, hoping to catch your gaze as you quickly made the coffee orders for the few people waiting to the side of the cash register. Just when he was about to give up and focus his attention back on his friends, you tore your concentration away from the drink in your hand and looked up at him from across the cafe.

Jaebeom focused his gaze deep onto you with his eyes – testing, checking, and trialing your focus. You didn’t look away, instead, you trained your eyes deeply into his and stared at him until finally, it was Jaebeom who broke the contact.

He shook his head at his friends, disappointed by your inability to break the trance and ultimately confused at the feeling he still got from you despite that.

Jaebeom took another sip of the tea, “it’s not her.”

“Did you have to debate that Uber driver on the Twilight franchise?” Jinyoung groaned at Bambam as soon as they’re out of the car.

The entire twenty-minute ride, he had got into a heated discussion with their driver on how Twilight was not “true” or realistic to most actual vampire folklore. It had been an excruciating thing to listen to.

“Got to stand up for our kind dude.”

“Okay, but what happens when she starts asking how you know all these things or why you’re so interested in vampire stuff?” Jinyoung tended to always be right. This wasn’t an exception.

Brushing off his pants, Bambam gives him a nonchalant wave, “chill out man. Everyone loves vampire stuff.”

“Maybe in 2008,” Jaebeom said just barely loud enough for his friends to hear them. The two of them laughed, Bambam shoving him playfully on the shoulder, “Birthday boy getting funny on us.”

“I was always funny,” Jaebeom deadpanned.

“Funny and looking good tonight. Let’s get you laid, shall we?”

After a day that was jampacked full of various activities planned by his youngest friend, the last thing Jaebeom wanted to do was spend extra energy on trying to get some girl to come home with him tonight. Besides, he wasn’t that guy anymore.

Jinyoung scoffed, “he doesn’t need to get laid tonight.”

“Yes, he does! Jaebeom how long has it been?”

This time it’s Jinyoung that shoves Bambam’s shoulder – except it’s not all that playful.

“Fine don’t answer that, but I’m just saying there will be quite a few girls here that you can have your pick of, despite your plain outfit.”

Jaebeom looked at the clothes he had changed into when Bambam spared him a sliver of time to go back home to digress and feed his cats. The latter had wanted him to borrow clothes of his, but instead, Jaebeom decided on pulling pieces from his closet that felt more like him, less like Bambam. A plain pair of ripped jeans, an oversized black shirt that he had bought at a shop from his trip to London last year, and his mother’s necklace that often wasn’t missing from its spot around his neck.

Bambam’s earlier critique was that he was dressed too basic and that no girls would bat an eye at him. Girls don’t like plain guys, he had said. The comment makes Jaebeom wonder about you and whether you’d fall under the category of not liking “plain” guys.

He bites the inside of his cheek. It was probably the eighth time he had made himself do it today. Jaebeom had found his mind often drifting to you throughout the day for some unexplainable reason. During their walk in the park, he wondered if you would take strolls during your breaks from the café or when Bambam forced him to go paint pottery for an hour and a half he thought about what you would paint. It frustrated him because he hadn’t even spoken to you – not a word and yet you were clearly on his mind for one reason or another. It wasn’t even like you were his mate. He had tried to see if you were unaffected by his trance, his hypnotic capabilities, but you had just stared at him completely fixated just as everyone else was.

Jaebeom was not going to think about you any longer. He was already planning on avoiding your café.

“We’re on the list,” Bambam tells the bouncer when they arrive at the entrance of the club. He scans the list and motions his head towards the direction of the door to signal to the three of them to go on ahead. There’s a bit of a whine coming from the people waiting in line which admittedly so makes Jaebeom feel a little guilty, but Bambam ensures him it’s fine, “why have a friend who works at a club if we can’t use him for the perks?”

“Why does he keep bartending again?” As soon as the question is out of Jaebeom’s mouth he realizes it was a stupid thing to ask since the answer is apparent.

Bambam laughed at him, giving his long – irreplaceable he’d like to remind everyone – leather coat to the person at the front of the club. Jaebeom swears he hears him tell the coat check guy the “proper” way to put it on a hanger.

“Obviously for the girls Jaebeom.”

Mark’s mate – Hana had passed on a long time ago. Jaebeom had never got the chance to meet her, only hears about her in passing from some stories that Mark has told the three of them. He hadn’t turned her. Jaebeom’s never asked why.

“Girls… of course.”

He can’t help but think about how Mark must feel inside. Although Jaebeom doesn’t know him as well as he knows Bambam and Jinyoung, whenever he’s with the older boy he’s always got a smile on his face. Often quiet, but he’s always got certain energy bouncing off of him that would indeed make him popular with women. However, if what they say about mates is true, would that mean that a piece of Mark was now missing? Did he feel like he was less of a person? Jaebeom felt like that sometimes and he hadn’t even met his mate yet. Mark had his, but now he didn’t.

“Drinks?” Jinyoung asked the two of them and Jaebeom is partly surprised. Out of the three of them, Bambam was the one who was the most comfortable in a club or even bar setting. He figures that Jinyoung must be using his birthday as an excuse to cut loose and become someone else for the night.

Bambam instantly nodded his head at Jinyoung’s suggestion and Jaebeom finds himself trailing behind the two of them as they make their way over to Mark at the bar who is throwing his head back at something the girl across the bar is saying. Judging on Jaebeom’s intuition – it’s a bit fake and overplayed, but you got to do what you got to do.

“My man!” Bambam yelled over the music, leaning against the counter in a way to make sure he doesn’t get the elbows of his long sleeve turtleneck wet. Mark in response, turned to them and smiled, then routing his attention back to the girl, giving her an apologetic smile. Her half-smile says everything Jaebeom could need to know – this girl would not be going home with Mark after his shift tonight.

“What can I get you guys tonight,” Mark turned to Jaebeom and the latter can barely make out his sharp canines in the dark club, “birthday boy you want anything special?”

Before Jaebeom can reply that he wants to be at home, Bambam answers for him.

“Could we maybe get something that’s off the menu?” He wiggled his eyebrows at Mark who gave him a shit-eating grin, knowing immediately what he was talking about.

“Off the menu” meant Mark’s secret stash of O negative underneath the counter. While alcohol had the same effect on them that it had on the average humans, adding a bit of blood just made a little bit better. Okay… it made it a lot better.

“Three negronis coming right up,” Mark winked to give a little signal that these would most likely not be as well composed or put together as a negroni, but due to them being in public, he couldn’t necessarily announce a shit ton of alcohol mixed with human blood was going to be served up to them.

“How has your birthday been Jae?” Mark asked as he was in the middle of placing three glasses onto the countertop in between them.

It was difficult to explain since to Jaebeom it had just been another day except for a little bit more excruciating. The celebration of another year “older” filled him with thoughts of how much time has passed, whether he’s done anything truly important and why he still hasn’t found the person who is meant to complete him… but like he said only a little more excruciating than any other day.

Jaebeom shrugged in response, “Bam planned a lot and for the most part, it was…” he paused for a moment, wondering if he should say how he felt – numb, lost, and wishing the day would come to an end as if tomorrow won’t bring the same thoughts or problems. But as he looked at his friends who had tried so hard today to make him happy and celebrate, he decided to guard them against the ultimate truth, “for the most part it was fun – really good. I mean besides the singing at the café of course.” He throws in the last part to at least have some kind of believability to his story.

He notices Mark’s eyebrows lift out of curiosity as his concentration focuses on measuring out each part of the drinks, “An entire café sang you happy birthday? Damn, I don’t think I could ever get through that, so I can only imagine how you feel.”

“That was Bam’s idea,” Jinyoung muttered.

Once again, Bambam does his nonchalant waving of the hand, “it wasn’t that bad. I mean okay, maybe it was… But Jaebeom was obsessed with the girl who led it.”

Jaebeom suddenly feels like he wants to put duct tape over his friend’s mouth.

“I was not obsessed with her! I don’t even know her!” Jaebeom for some reason felt the need to defend himself, which was probably the worst option. Him getting defensive was usually a tell-tale sign for his friends being right on whatever they were confronting him with.

Bambam scoffed, bringing gliding his drink across the bar to be directly in front of him once Mark has poured it neatly into the short glass, “I noticed you staring at her before I went to get the drinks. That’s why I asked her to do it in the first place.”

“So, she doesn’t know Minji?” Jinyoung questioned.

The youngest takes his first sip and immediately lets out a hissing noise, signaling to Mark that it’s both strong and good. “No, she does, but Jaebeom’s weird staring only made it that much better.”

Mark pushed the other two glasses towards Jinyoung and Jaebeom, “Was she your…” he drifted off, almost as though he was finding it physically difficult to get the word out. Jaebeom can’t help but feel the want to reach his hand out towards Mark and place it comfortingly on his shoulder, but his group of friends don’t do that. Instead, he saves him the trouble by answering back right away, not forcing him to say it.

“No, she wasn’t.”

The bartender nodded slowly, suddenly avoiding his gaze from the three familiar boys across the bar from him, “That’s uh… too bad that she wasn’t able to break the trance. Sorry, Jaebeom.”

He knows that Mark is just trying to be nice, especially when they’re on a subject that he clearly can’t and doesn’t want to talk about, but the attempt to be comforting makes Jaebeom nauseous.

“Well maybe he’ll find her here tonight,” Jinyoung quipped, placing a hand on Jaebeom’s back. Sometimes the latter swore that his friends treated him he had just found out he had a terminal illness.

“I sincerely doubt it,” Jaebeom commented gruffly.

There’s a sound from the other side of the bar from a customer who seems fed up with the conversation being had between the four of them – distracting Mark from serving anyone else. He gives a signal to them to notify them that he’ll be there in a second. “Well… come to me if you guys need more drinks. It’s on me tonight.”

“Thanks, man,” Jaebeom tells him honestly because he might need a couple more drinks before he gets to the state of wanting to be in this room.

Mark said a final word of “see you guys later” and heads to the other end of the bar to help customers who have been waiting. Grabbing their drinks, Jaebeom, Jinyoung, and Bambam turn around to depart the bar, to find somewhere to sit for a bit before the drinks truly begin to hit them.

With his drink in hand, Jaebeom took a sip and reveled in the perfect balance of alcohol to burn his throat and blood to soothe it. The drink was probably the most relaxing part of his day thus far and as he looked out at the crowd, he could already tell that maybe the mixture was going to his head due to his sudden thinking that this place wasn’t all that bad.

Despite not being a club guy, if he were to go out, Jaebeom would always choose this club that Mark works out. To put it simply – it was vampire friendly. With Mark behind the counter and his “secret” supply free-flowing, it became a notoriously known place for vampires in town. If he had to guess, the attendance on an average night was probably evenly split 50/50, humans and vampires.

The humans weren’t aware of the vampires of course – for the most part.

Jaebeom cleared his throat once they’ve found a booth to sit in, “so… Bam what do you know about that girl?”

Both Jinyoung and Bambam exchange glances before looking back at the birthday boy. The latter tried his best to conceal the smile on his face, “not much… just that she owns the café, knows Minji, and is very single.”

For some reason, Jaebeom’s stomach does a little flip, but he wishes it wouldn’t. “S-So?” Through his stutter, he tries to remain as confident as possible, but his friends see right through his façade.

Jinyoung leaned forward until his elbows rest on the top of his thighs, “Jaebeom you can be honest with us… Why the sudden fascination with this girl? Are you sure she didn’t break the trance? Just with the way that you’re acting…” Jinyoung drifted off, not bothering to finish his final sentence, but once again looking at Bambam. It makes Jaebeom lean forward in his seat as well.

“With the way, I’m acting? I’m completely normal. I’m fine. She didn’t break the trance and now I’m just curious about her as curious as anyone would be about someone they meet.”

There’s the silence between the three of them until Bambam speaks up, “You didn’t meet her though.”

It dawns on Jaebeom that he didn’t even speak to you and he wonders why does it feel like he did. Why did it feel like he knew you but didn’t at the same time? Why haven’t his mind and body been cooperating with him since this morning at the café?

Just with the way that you’re acting…

The way he was acting? What did that mean? Was the way he was acting mean something specific?

He feels like he blinks and thirty minutes go by. And in that past thirty minutes, Jaebeom had somehow managed to drink 6 of Mark’s “negronis.” He felt like his head was beginning to get dizzy. It wasn’t often that Jaebeom found himself drunk on the verge of drunkenness due to alcohol not affecting him as much as humans. To even remotely get to that state, he had to drink a lot and it had to be strong.

“You feeling it Jaebeom?” Through the darkness and the haze of the alcohol, Jaebeom could barely make out the hint of the smile playing on Jinyoung’s face. He had switched to a glass of wine at some point while Jaebeom was binge drinking which had to be the most Jinyoung thing ever. Who drinks a glass of wine in a dark, sweaty club?

He’s afraid to answer him verbally which would give his friend an obvious sign of how he was feeling. So instead he just shrugged – as usual.

“Dude let’s get out there!” The youngest shouted, motioning his hands to the middle of the club, “dance… maybe find you a girl?”

Jaebeom watched the people pressing up against each other on the dancefloor, moving their bodies, and drinking like their lives depended on it. He wondered if he wanted to be a part of that. Everyone out there was so full of life and vigor… he just wasn’t. He also didn’t know if he was that drunk, but bless Bambam because he didn’t need alcohol to be out there.

For what feels like the millionth time, his mind drifted to you. Was this your kind of place? Would you come here? If you did would you come alone? With friends? Someone else? You didn’t seem like the type of person who would like this place. You seemed more like him – the observant, calm, inquisitive type who would much rather be at home with a book than at a party.

Then for a moment, he can picture it. It’s almost like he’s in a trance – an image of you curled up on a couch – his couch – under a large white cable knit blanket fills his mind. Rather than reading, your painting with watercolors – the kind that seems to be in every elementary school classroom – and he hears a voice out of view. His voice.

“Painting really?”

Jaebeom sees you glance up from your painting to look at him, smiling.

“Looks like I’m gonna have a lot of time on my hands so… might as well get good at something.”

Jaebeom hears himself laugh, “Okay but watercolors?”

He feels like he’s going to pass out when he finally hears it – your laugh.

“Let the artist work Im Jaebeom! She needs to get good enough to live off auction house money once her paintings get sold! Shh!” Despite your words, you smiled and suddenly moved the tools away from you onto the coffee table. You lifted half the blanket off of you and patted the space of the couch beside you, “you know I can’t say no when you give me that face. Come here.”

And just like that, the vision is gone. Jaebeom feels confused because it didn’t feel like a dream or fantasy, but it felt real… it felt like a memory.

“Hello, Earth to Jaebeom?”

Right… dancing. Maybe dancing would help him forget whatever game his mind was playing on him.

“Yeah let’s fucking go.”

Another instance occurs where Jaebeom blinks and everything moves so fast. Suddenly he’s no longer sat at the table with Bambam and Jinyoung, but instead in the middle of that mess on the dancefloor with everyone else. He almost feels like one of them. He almost feels human again. But as soon as that feeling washes over him, it quickly dissipates.

He knows it must be the drinks doing all the work, because otherwise, he would have never found himself in the middle of all these people, thinking that dancing is a good idea. Dancing had never done anything remotely good for him before, so why now? To help forget? Was it going to help him do that?

“I swear it’s like he’s not even here.”

Jaebeom tuned back into the moment, and it’s when he realizes that Jinyoung and Bambam have been trying to get his attention this entire time.

“Sorry I was just- the alcohol you know…” He says it so quietly that he knows his friends won’t be able to hear him over the music and the millions of conversations happening around them. But he thinks that maybe it’s better that way and that it truly doesn’t matter what he says.

Jinyoung comes closer to Jaebeom, until his mouth is right next to his ear, “we were just asking if there’s anyone that you’re interested in.”

They’re still on this idea? Jaebeom asked himself.

Even in his drunken state, he didn’t think that finding some random girl to fuck was going to help with the emptiness he’s been feeling lately, but for the first time since getting up and onto the dance floor he takes in the people around him. As depressing as it was to observe, most people were here with someone else.

It’s then his gaze falls onto a couple that stands far on the left side of the floor, behind where Jinyoung is standing. The two of them have their fronts pressed up against each other, dancing so closely with arms exploring one another’s bodies. The female has her head resting on the male’s shoulder as if she’s too exhausted to keep going, but can’t dare to part with him. It’s like they’re part of each other and any distance would cause them to lose all sense of themselves.

The girl lifts her head off the male’s shoulder and gives him this look that makes Jaebeom’s heart – if it was still beating – ache. She says something to him and he nodded happily in response. Even through the dim lights and large crowd, Jaebeom could see the sharp teeth inside her mouth.

She placed her head back against his shoulder, this time, however, the male had his head angled back, stretching out his neck. The girl moves in closer until her mouth just ghosts over the skin, breathing on it until the boy shuts his eyes awaiting the sting and pleasure that will come next.

Biting down against his flesh, breaking skin, the girl drinks from her partner. Even though he’s at a distance from them, Jaebeom can tell by the look on the man’s face that he’s enjoying being fed on and that it certainly isn’t his first time.

He feels like his eyes are frozen on the couple. It’s been so long since he fed off someone instead of the stuff that he gets from his connection at the hospital. Jaebeom tries not to think about the way his fingertips tingle and his throat dries up at the thought of drinking from a warm body. The alcohol has only dehydrated him and made him feel even more thirsty – he’s afraid that going back to the bar and asking Mark for a glass of O negative exclusively isn’t going to make that go away.

After a moment or two, the girl removes her mouth from the boy’s neck and drags her tongue over the spot where she had drawn blood from, ultimately covering the wound and signaling that she was done drinking.

He thinks of how risky it is to do that at a place like this. Although half of the people around them also take part in the activity of drinking blooding and granted most of them aren’t paying attention to those around them – there are still unsuspecting humans everywhere. If one wrong person were to see then that could be it for this club being a haven for the vampire community in the city and that would probably be… it for vampires in this city in general.

But who was he kidding? He was being a hypocrite because he’s for sure done the same thing.

You’ve once again entered his mind. However, this time it isn’t an image, picture, or vision that occupies his thoughts, but instead just the idea of how you would react to who he is, what he really is. Throughout his time that he’s been undead he’s only done the “reveal” to a handful of people and even then, it took him a long time to get there. Well except for one person who ultimately was a mistake and his friends hadn’t hesitated to let him know.

With you, Jaebeom felt that you wouldn’t be the kind of person to judge him instantly based on what he was. You would be shocked of course, maybe even scared, but you wouldn’t let that cloud your judgment. You wouldn’t let yourself reject something just because it was unfamiliar.

What the fuck was he on about?

It must be the alcohol doing this to him. He would have to thank Mark for making them strong this time around, but also make a mental note to never let this happen again. Jaebeom was already a deeper thinker, but this was getting out of hand.

There’s a sudden grasp of Jaebeom’s elbow and he feels himself jump at the sudden touch. His eyebrows furrowed when he realized it wasn’t one of his friends considering Bambam and Jinyoung were both dancing over to his right side.

When he turned around to greet the person who had grabbed him, he was disappointed, surprised, and annoyed all in one. It was the last person he had expected to see her, except not really because it made perfect sense.

“Jaebeom… hi.” Ara smiled shyly at him, tucking a string of hair behind her ear and slightly looking down at the ground. He wants to groan because he knows she’s doing this because he had once mentioned that he thought it was hot when she looked innocent. He shouldn’t have ever said that.

He’s not sure what to say, because what are you supposed to say to someone you’ve been trying to avoid for the past year and a half? Jaebeom had said everything he had wanted to say to her.

At one point in his life, he had been stupid. He had been stupid and he had abused the power that had been bestowed upon him since the day he had been turned. Perhaps one would assume that he’d been foolish with his ability just at the start – 100, maybe even 150 years ago. Instead, Jaebeom had gone through a rough patch about a year or two ago.

The overwhelming pressure of finding his mate had started to get to him again. All he needed was someone, anyone to break the hypnotic trance and that was it. A task that seemed so simple, yet never came. So, Jaebeom had used hypnotism to his advantage, getting as many girls as he could in his bed in the shortest amount of time possible. He wasn’t proud of it and it was something he would constantly regret as long as he was ali- around.

One of those girls… had been Ara.

Jaebeom felt relieved when she didn’t wait for him to answer back at her greeting, “How are you? I-It’s your birthday, right? How old are you turning again? 27?” She winked immediately after her question and he wants to roll his eyes.

She was the mistake by the way. The mistake that knew about who he was.

He doesn’t even remember how it happened, how his secret slipped, or what the circumstances of her finding out was. Part of him thinks he was just horny, thirsty, and weak, but she found out and she… loved it.

Weirdly enough, Ara loved the idea of him being a vampire and his “lifestyle” which at first Jaebeom didn’t think too much about. He thought okay she’s taking this extremely well… better than anyone else I’ve ever told, but whatever, but then it became strange.

She was what those in the vampire community call a “vampire fetishizer.”

He coughed awkwardly, his gaze wandering over to Jinyoung and Bambam, hoping they would catch sight of him stuck with Ara and come rescue him. Jaebeom wasn’t that lucky though, not even on his birthday, “Yeah… 27.”

Jaebeom can’t help but look at her neck. It’s fully on display and it was clear that Ara had come here to find someone to feed on her. He had been the one to show Ara this place before he had been clued into her little… vampire obsession.

“Well did the birthday boy get everything he wants today?” She smiled and gave Jaebeom those eyes. He feels his cock twitch in his pants and he realizes he has to keep himself in check because he’s not that weak tonight… right?

His eyes flash to her neck again and Jaebeom feels his throat get even drier. He was so thirsty and he knows Ara would be so willing.

No Jaebeom… No.

“I-I uh yeah… you know got- yeah today’s been good,” he stuttered awkwardly, bringing his tongue out to wet his dry lips. Judging on the look on Ara’s face, she’s taken the action the wrong way.

“You look thirsty Jaebeom… do you want a drink?”

He knows what she means and Jaebeom swallows hard in an attempt to distract himself, to remind himself that he’s not that thirsty. He doesn’t need it that bad.

“I-I think I am.”

The words come out faster than his brain can process to stop them and the part of Jaebeom that’s coherent, sharp, and aware wants to punch the weak and drunk Jaebeom in the face.

Without a word, Ara turned from Jaebeom and began walking to one of the exits at the side of the club. He feels like he’s the one in a trance, mindlessly following her through the people, not even hearing Jinyoung and Bambam calling out to him. The only thing that Jaebeom makes note of as he follows her is Mark’s face behind the bar, giving him a tight smile. It almost stops Jaebeom. Almost.

When they finally get outside through the exit door, they find themselves in a small alley between the club and a dry cleaner.

Jaebeom doesn’t even get a moment to think before Ara is pushing him against the wall of the dry cleaner, her hands roaming up and down his body, her lips going to his own. They’re pressed up against each other so closely that he recalls the couple he had watched earlier. He feels sick comparing this moment now to the two of them.

“Fuck I missed you so much,” Ara sighed seductively into this ear, making Jaebeom’s stomach churn further at her clear longing for him. Well not him, but the vampire part of him.

“Please, I need it,” she mewled. At her words, he almost puts a stop to this whole thing and has to question whether this is the right thing to do. Jaebeom wonders if this is old Jaebeom behavior – the one that just used women and threw them away later like toys, but then he remembers that this is Ara. She’s using him as well.

It’s almost as though that old, cocky, snide Jaebeom appears out of nowhere as he says his next words and brings himself closer to her neck, “do you really need it?”

“Yes, Jaebeom I do, please.” Ara already sounds so desperate and he’s barely done anything. He can’t help but smirk at her reaction.

“Then I guess I better give it to you then.”

He’s about to do it. He’s about to bite down and finally relieve his thirst, his craving, but then he looks to the side of the alley – towards the street. He feels like he’s seeing things again like he’s in the middle of a hallucination or mirage. That thought is pushed away when he locks eyes with you.

“Don’t mind me,” you placed your hands up in front of yourself, to show him you’re not eavesdropping. Your action frustrated you because it would have been much better to say nothing, but you felt yourself panic. The prolonged eye contact with him while he’s just seconds away from pressing down – bitting down? – on the girl’s next for some reason pushed you into defensive mode. Not to mention his eyes… his eyes were – red?

The girl hadn’t noticed you; you aren’t even sure if she heard you, but she certainly noticed Jaebeom’s stare fixated on you. When she faces you, she wears an unpleasant sneer, clearly annoyed by your interruption of whatever this was.

“Can you go?” She said, the agitation in her voice more than apparent.

Rather than immediately leave the scene, you continued to stare at Jaebeom. It’s difficult to say why you decided to walk this specific way home despite it being so late and dark out, but for some reason, you couldn’t help but be pulled in this direction. You weren’t someone who believed in signs or fate, but it felt so wrong to go any other way tonight. That was another thing, you felt this kink in your neck that practically forced you or taunted you into looking down the alley between this dry cleaners and club. It was yet another thing about today that felt unexplainable to you as you certainly weren’t expecting the birthday boy from the café today to be in a compromising position with some girl.

After a moment of more uncomfortable staring – something else that had happened at the café today with him – Jaebeom breaks your gaze and looks down at his feet. The eye roll and acrid look on the girl’s face don’t go unnoticed by you.

You shouldn’t be here.

“S-Sorry. I’ll just get going then,” you concluded, unsure why you felt an uncomfortable sickness spread throughout the entirety of your body.

You barely knew this guy – all you really knew was that today was his birthday and that he was friends with Minji’s boyfriend. Basically nothing. Yet now and even earlier back at the café you had felt this weird sensation within yourself. Not even when you looked at him, but just being in the same presence. It had been so hard to focus on making coffee today when he was seated across the room. Every part of your body just wanted to get closer, gravitate towards him. It was fucking weird… and scary.

The girl nodded as if to signal “yeah about time,” at the announcement of your departure. Jaebeom on the other hand, still had his eyes glued to the ground as if looking at you once again will cause him some kind of pain.

Just as you’re about to continue your trip back home, you stop yourself and look back at the couple in the alley.

“Happy birthday by the way…” you paused wondering if it would be weird to say his name considering he doesn’t even know yours, but you shove the thought out of your mind, “Jaebeom…”

Hearing you say his name causes that tingling feeling in his fingertips to come back and his entire mind is sent into a frenzy. He feels too awkward, too shy to look at you again, but a sudden thought washed over him. What if earlier was a mistake? What if you are his mate? With the way he was currently feeling just at you saying his name, the visions he had in the club and the nonstop place you know had in his mind, it was difficult to believe that you weren’t his mate.

Bambam and Jinyoung had found it difficult to explain to him what it felt like to find your mate, but surely what he felt right now wasn’t normal behavior or feelings. Unless he was a psychopath.

Tightly shutting his eyes and drawing together all his strength, Jaebeom aims to try once again to see if you can break the hypnotic trance, unaffected by his abilities. However, as soon as he’s finally ready, head turned up to face you – you’re gone. You didn’t wait for him to respond to the happy birthday message. Instead, you simply left not wanting to be a burden or troublesome to whatever it was those two were doing in that alley.

“Thank fucking god, let’s get back to it,” Ara concluded with a final roll of her eyes, gripping Jaebeom’s shoulders to get him close to her once again. He stares at her neck, but this time he doesn’t feel anything. He no longer feels thirsty and his appetite is gone.

Jaebeom shrugs her off slightly. The encounter with you has caused him to wake up and realize what a bad idea it would be to do this right now. He hopes that Ara won’t put up a fight – he doesn’t want to have to hypnotize her if he doesn’t need to.

At his actions, Ara takes a step away in disbelief, as if she actually can’t believe that Jaebeom is changing his mind and no longer wants her, “are you serious?”

He doesn’t say anything but instead avoids eye contact with her just as he had done for you.

Snorting, she glared at him, “Fine. Whatever. I don’t fucking care. I can find someone else to feed off of me. Yours never felt that good anyway. Asshole.”

Just like that, she’s out of his life once again and Jaebeom can’t help but feel thankful. He should have never been weak enough to be dragged out by here anyway. He had just been consumed by thoughts of you, alcohol, and the couple on the dancefloor. Then again, not coming out here would have robbed him of the opportunity of seeing you again and finding out that you actually knew his name.

That’s when it dawned on him.

Fuck… how much had you seen? What did you see?

Jaebeom realized that he might have some explaining to do

#got7 fanfic #got7 smut #im jaebeom fanfic #jaebeom fanfic #jaebeom smut

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aestheticsuwu · 4 years

Text

🌁Escape from the city and follow the sun ☀️

( part 2 of Okinawa trip AU)

.......

She knew her Dad planned the vacation to give her a break but she knew deep down he just wanted a new scenery just for a little bit . When he offered she instantly accepted , maybe they would make some good memories for her to look back in the future .

She was excited to tell the rest of her friends about the trip , and she wasn't expecting Robby having an interest of Okinawa . Guessing her father and Robby had that connection of the Myagi Do History . It was cute how he was rambling telling her and Demetri fun facts .

And When Robby had stayed for dinner he wanted tell Sam more of what he had learned . She was more than happy when Dad had asked Robby if he wanted come .

..... .....

" Robby would you like to come with us ? "

He knew his mouth was hanging open , the question surprised him . He wanted to say yes but he also knew that the trip was only for Mr. LaRusso and Sam .

" That would be awesome but I don't want to intrude and Mr. LaRusso you planned it for you and Sam . "

" Well I want you to go with us and I know Sam wouldn't mind . Your part of the family Robby, you know that . And Don't worry about Johnny, I will talk to him . So what do you say ? "

His heart always felt warmed when Mr.Larusso would remind him , He was like another Dad . He knew there was times he had to catch himself to not call him Dad . It Didn't help now that Mr . LaRusso and his actual dad were dating . Looking at Sam smiling at him encouraging him to accept , he gives them both a smile .

" I would love to , Thank you . "

And if he hugged Mr.Larusso longer than he intended and thought he could live with two dads for all his life nobody needed to know .

...... ..... ...... ...... ..

They were all at the dojo taking a break from class . He was in the middle of Sam and Miguel while Demetri was sitting in front of him . All were talking about the lesson but they noticed Demetri wasn't talking . And they all knew he constantly talked . Robby noticed that hawk was with the other students , usually he was with Demetri .

Turning to look if Sam and Miguel noticed but guessing by looks that Sam was glaring at hawk and Miguel concerned look . He guessed he wasn't the only one .

" Demetri did you and Hawk fight ? "

He asked him , Sam and Miguel begin to questioned also .

" Did he hurt you !? "

" I don't think Hawk would hurt Demetri , Sam."

" Wouldn't be the first time , Miguel ! "

" But Hawk changed and I know he wouldn't do it again . "

He interrupts them before anyone would notice their little argument .

" Guys , let Demetri tell us . Let's not jump into conclusions , I'm not big fan of Hawk but let's give him the benefit of the doubt . "

All three watched their friend to answer patiently . They sometimes forget that Demetri didn't react well to being rushed. They had to be patient with him .

" He didn't do anything , I just i-i-i. I'm having problems at home but it's fine .

The three watch him stand up as his Dad calls them to fall in and break was over . And he knew he wasn't the only one of the three worried and by the looks of Hawk he was also worried.

...... ...... ..

Running up to catch Demetri she ask him if he can come over to her house to help her pack . Smiling as he agrees she discreetly turns around to give Miguel and Robby a thumbs up. Giggling went Demetri waves a goodbye , and Miguel and Robby try to act discreetly as if they unaware of Sam's idea

.It was cute , she was glad that both Robby and Miguel got along now . Realising they have stuff in common decideding to have a truce , Now they were friends . Both were big softies , funny and loyal the plus side they were Hot .

The three agreed Sam would be the one to talk to Demetri . Knowing her and Demetri was more closer , He was the one who helped her deal with her panic attacks . She helped him with his feelings for a certain Mohawk boy , although she didn't understand why him . But she guessed know one would be good enough for her Demetri . She loved him like a brother.

Don't get her wrong she loved her little brother but her and Demetri understood each other. Thats why she had to get the bottom of the problem .

" Is it cold in Okinawa ? , just in case take a couple sweaters and coats . Better safe than sorry right . "

As Demetri pulled out her clothes , she decided it was the right time to ask .

" Dem , you know you can tell me anything right , even if it's bad . Im ... We are worried about you and its not just today that we noticed . I just want you to know that i got your back "

" I know , I just ... I been having problems with my mother . She doesn't understand why I forgived Hawk , so I tried to not bring up anything around her . She's usually not around , so I invited Hawk over , we were playing video games and catching up . Guess who decided to show up at the moment Eli tries to kiss me "

Her heart broke watching her friend struggle , he paces around the room and she knows Demetri is trying not to break down . She goes up to him and hold his hand .

" It was so embarrising , she threw a fit saying I was ruining my life . kicked out Eli , wouldn't be surprised he didn't want talk to me again . Said pretty much I'm a disgrace to keep it short . I'm sorry "

She hugs him as tight as she could , she got teary eyed hearing Demetri cry . She was so thankful for having her parents , it wasn't fair people had to go through .

" You don't have to be sorry ok , She's wrong she doesn't know you the way we do . You can stay with us today , and if hawk doesn't speak to you I know Robby and Miguel will knock some sense into him . "

Later that night her Dad tells her about including Demetri to the vacation . She tells him he's the best dad ever . She goes to bed listening to Demetri talk about Hawk message and the plans to the trip .

..... ...... ....

At first it was confusing and hard to adjust to her parents being divorce but once realise she realised they were both happier with other people . She came to terms with it , she got to talk to Miguel and Robby about their parent dating each other .

Miguel was glad her mom was happy with someone that knew how to cherish her the way she deserved . Robby wasn't mad or bothered that his dad and her dad were now dated . He just didn't like how he would constantly see his dad flirt with her dad .

When Johnny had accidently called his father Bambi in front of the class , he saw the way the blonde tried to get her father to forgive him all day . She thought Mr . Lawrence wasn't bad after all.

Carmen and Johnny was a nice addition to the family , she gets to spend time more with Robby and Miguel .

...... .......

Miguel was excited to wake up as 4 : 00 in the morning and wait for sensei to pick him up . He never thought he would ever go to the trip with Mr. LaRusso . His mom was also going with them , the best part he was going with his friends too .

Saying Goodbye one last time to YaYa , he climbs inside the car saying hi to everyone . Falling asleep while sensei drives hoping they wouldn't crash .

" Were here , Everybody out ! Let's go ! . "

Walking up to the airport , as everyone follows their Sensei guiding them and telling them to keep an eye out for Mr LaRusso . Turning to Hawk , he was surprised that his friend had managed to have energy to do his hair .

" This is going be fucking awesome dude , only sucks that we have to wake this early . "

" Yeah , we should thank Mr.LaRusso for inviting us and try not to start any fights with anyone meaning Sam or Robby . I know you dude . "

" Right , and I'm not the only that starts them , Who you crushing on now , pretty boy or the princess , or both "

Pushing hawk , as he says his comment with a smirk , He can't remember why he was friends with him now .

" Shut up , I don't know what your talking about . "

" Yeah and that why your blushing "

It only seemed right to flip him off and maybe push him to the floor if he didn't had found Mr. LaRusso and him mom .

" Sensei their over there , Oh My mom arrived to " He told Sensei , pointing at the opposite direction , they all decided to run towards them .

....... ....... .......

He think no one would ever get used to seeing both Senseis making out . They all showed their disagreement of the PDA even Amanda and Carmen were laughing for their childish behavior . Seeing as his dad signaling to the store the class showed their excitement as they cheered remembering Mr. LaRusso promise .

Robby didn't know what to decide on , the rest of the class had money their parents had given them . And he didn't want to ask Mr . LaRusso for money he had already bought him the ticket and clothes and not to include his suitcase .

" we can share something if you want , my Yaya gave me extra money . "

Turning to look at Miguel and Sam , He wanted to reject the idea but he guessed it wouldn't hurt .

" Hey pup get anything LaRusso is paying , goes for you to Miguel . Keep an eye out on them little LaRusso . "

God his dad always had to embarrass him , he didn't mind him calling him that but in public was big No . And by the giggling of both Miguel and Sam they could tell he was blushing . He totally deserved some Oreos for this .

...... ..... ...

Everyone was vibrating with excitement as they got off the plane . Phone filled with selfies on the plane , Laughing along the random ideas to do in Okinawa . They couldn't wait for their adventure to start .

But then they lost Mr . LaRusso who was the only one that knew the place after they all got distracted because it seemed Hawks stupid products weren't here .

" Dude calm down , I think you could get some gel or whatever you use here too . "

" Miguel , I love you bro but right now I'm trying to find my shit . Hey ! What are you all laughing about ! "

Once sensei had enough of the bickering , he told them to fall in line to find their missing Sensei that was once spotted outside with two other people .

Waiting for a big cab for everyone to fit wasn't the best but as they were driven to their location . They were all memorized by the beauty , it seem like no picture can capture the beauty of it . Well not to Sensei apparently he rather look at the beauty of Mr . LaRusso.

He had to admit that was the best line he had heard from his Sensei . He liked how everyone was smiling and Laughing . He also totally noticed the blush on Hawk and Demetri as they both were sitting to close . He was totally going to tease hawk as payback .

Sidenote : Part 2 of the Okinawa trip AU. Sam , Robby , and Miguel Pov . Sam and Demetri sibling dynamic . Next is binary boyfriends moodboard . Excuse for my shitty writhing

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leatherbookmarking · 3 years

Text

fuck that ! im gonna talk about them deadboyz!! shame is for the WEAK

overall:

belong to a much less known subsidiary company of jinhit no jgs isn’t worth the joke entertainment. if they were in any other company they would be super rookies but jgs is keeping them in the basement and it’s not even his own basement

initially i think there were some high stakes in it for jgy...? something like ‘you produce the songs and make their chores and if you flop you’ll never be on stage again’ but?? i don’t know now tbh

would have been really popular (they are Good) but less known company, etc, and also some rumors around the time of their debut made it so they’re only knows because ‘they’re kinda good at dancing aren’t they’

general concept is uh... cool dudes, kinda fucky but not too much...? gotta think about the baby (a-yu)

THE MEMBERS: meng yao (leader, main dancer, vocalist), wen chao (oldest, main rapper), su she (main vocal, dancer), xue yang (rapper, dancer, unofficially: moodmaker, if by ‘mood’ you understand ‘horror at whatever has just come out of his hellish mouth), wen ning (dancer, vocalist, sometimes rapper), mo xuanyu (vocalist, the Baby™)

MENG YAO:

leader, single-handedly responsible for making these rowdy boys (wc&xy) stop wanting to kill each other

has probably auditioned for every single company there is. was in the nie company for a bit, but it was still a mess freshly after the previous owner, nmj’s father, has died, nmj has struggled (being a producer, not a businessman) so when it turned out they’d have to let some trainees go, the other trainees made it so meng yao was the one to leave. then he temporarily was at wrh’s company where he got kind-of-semi-famous as one of wen qing’s main back dancers (the one she’s interacted with the most) during her last performance. then the company went kaputt and jgs has snatched him off for himself, and then... put him... in the basement.... for two years... after which he gave him a chance, and voila

insanely hard-working. an all-rounder. mainly he excels at dancing, but his vocal and rap skills also Fuck. persona? impeccable. he’s learning to write and compose his own songs and he’s doing well, but he can’t even upload his stuff on soundcloud, because... you know why. has doubled as a manager in their early days. also, dimples.

the fans had tried to make a dad/mom dynamic with him and uh... wen chao...? since they were the oldest and pretty much the opposites, but quickly gave up and he’s now simply known as yao-ge due to his stern but loving persona. (yao-jie, sometimes)

DOES do the split. it was his rookie trick for a year after they debuted, but he simply is just like that. one show host asked him “is there definite proof that you have bones?“ and meng yao only shrugged humbly

WEN CHAO

oldest, has been a trainee for the longest time, hasn’t debuted because... well... he wasn’t good... and that was because he’s felt too safe in his dad’s company. WELL ABOUT THAT,

his older brother wen xu has debuted Long before him, but after a few years his group disbanded, he moved on to modeling and then stopped after a couple of years, too. (he got married.)

you know how i said their image is ‘cool, a bit fucky’? well, he’s 40% of that fuckiness. he’s been told again and again that idols aren’t supposed to date/have dating experience, but he still can’t get the hang of it

yes, he and jiaojiao were an item back in the wen days. she’s a trainee at some other company now but they still hook up sometimes

initially was intent on maintaining a cool, calm and collected image... then he met xue yang and threw that idea outta the window. paradoxically, they’re interesting together, not only as rappers but also as... high-energy, chaotic energy makers of the group...

this is a happy au, so: initially he’s thought everything is bullshit, these talentless fucks are dumb and he should already be a top idol. by the time of their debut, he agrees that meng yao is one crafty motherfucker. a year after their debut, if anything happened to any of his boys, yes even xue yang, he would kill everyone in the room, etc, etc BUT YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT.

SU SHE

unfortunately, was added before their first comeback (second release) and therefore controversial. fortunately, his vocal completes the group’s image and musical flavour

was a trainee in yinshen ent where he really admired their top idol, lan wangji, until... he got to know him (?) when they were sent to compete in a survival show and decided lan wangji ain’t shit and is, in fact, a stuck-up self-centered bitch. the survival show crashed (unrelatedly), but still some serious words were exchanged. during Some Company Problems, quite a lot of trainees have left, but he was the one who left with a Bang.

joined that one subsidiary of jin ent because of meng yao, who, just like in canon, recognized him, said he loved him in (song he’s performed in the survival show) and with this he cemented his position as su she’s new Boy Who Makes Him Go !!!!.

slowly replaced meng yao as The Man Who Does This Face at the other lads’ rowdy behaviour.

fans remember he was :/ at lan wangji, so his persona wouldn’t work anyway, but he does make quite a convincing kind dude-next-door.

stubborn side of the fandom’s next candidate for the mom member, because... he’s ridiculously prepared and reliable. who carries hydrogen peroxide in their daily use backpack? this boy !

it used to be rubbing alcohol but i had too many reasons to apply it internally, he once says mournfully, and this is how xue yang discovers he has a sense of humor, sort of

unfortunately, has the juiciest ass in the group. unfortunately, because

XUE YANG

responsible for: being inappropriate. the other 60% of fuckiness, really enjoys getting into wen chao’s personal space (since wen chao is That straight dude) and just... doing whatever to make su she Scandalized.

but he’s so cute we’ll forgive him. at least until the next time he does a surprise butt grab

very agile! dance line along with meng yao and wen ning. apparently he was a stunt guy...? apparently the lived in the streets...? apparently he went to the same dance school as meng yao...? no one knows his past. no one has seen his kid photos. did he go by another name...? insert the what are birds gif but make it who is xue yang.

adds sound effects to real life. also in his raps, sometimes

started hugging and initiating physical contact with people to assert dominance to be annoying, but ended up actually liking it, even though the one he does it comfortably with is meng yao. just like... back hugs? resting his chin over a-yao’s shoulder? it’s neat. sometimes a-yao pats his hand or taps his nose absent-mindedly and it’s super neat. if he notices you noticing it, though, he will BITE

most popular member, but everyone likes him for different reasons and has a different uhhh headcanon about potentially dating him. bad boy xue yang/cute bratty didi xue yang/sweet boyfriend xue yang, etc, etc

no one knows how, but apparently he knows the iconic duo from a small company, xiao xingchen and song lan...? or rather, song lan pretends not to know or notice him, meanwhile xiao xingchen is very cute when they’re interacting, and basically it prompts a lot of dating rumors, especially since they’ve been spotted having hotpot.

WEN NING

su she was the one to join last, but actually it’s wen ning who’s the least popular member. i’m just so quiet that people don’t notice me, haha, he says while being 180cm tall and having killer charisma when he dances

seriously, what’s up with that? it’s almost like he’s a different person, a possessed one to add to that. huh!

in contrast, his voice is very gentle and even cute, and he often sings quietly to himself. sometimes to other members (there’s a video of him singing what seems to be a lullaby to mxy), sometimes to little animals (there’s a video of him singing to a tiny frog he’s found during a walk). gentle boyfriend wen ning but it’s CANON

in contrast to the contrast, he doesn’t rap often, but when he does, it’s like... who’s that?? another member??? dualism king

when wc/xy cause problems on purpose, he doesn’t react/allows them to tease him/slap his ass/bump into him when they’re fighting. he seems like a calm, gentle guy so when they’re in a variety show and it’s Time For A Punishment, of course he gets to decide/wield the squeaky hammer, WHEREUPON ‘yang-ge, three weeks ago you ate my yoghurt even though i specifically asked you not to, so...’ (whacks xy’s ass into next tuesday)

nice, sculpted shoulders make for very good pillows

MO XUANYU

a Baby, but watch out: a horny one. fully on board with xue yang’s Inappropriate Ideas Of Entertainment. there’s a video of them doing some Rather Dirty dance moves while meng yao and su she make pained faces in the bg

fashion king. make-up king. none of his selfies are bare-faced, he always has some red eye shadow/blue eyelashes/yellow blush/black lipstick going on. sometimes even at the same time. paints his nails and toenails as well. somehow yao-gege doing his make-up makes him fall asleep one minute in. (cute)

his sincere smile is a 100% foolproof way to just... melt everyone’s hearts. in wen ning’s case: with a smile as well. meng yao and su she: an eyeroll (fond). xue yang and wen chao: ‘oh, fuck you’. but it DOES

most of the time though when he does sajiao it’s totally weird. (on purpose, on purpose)

tiny boy. skinny boy. once he turned to the side and vanished. even though most of the time in videos the other members sooner or later end up giving him food! (at some point wen chao says ‘it’s so that you’d shut up’, causing a-yu to start talking animatedly, spitting crumbs into his tea. serves him right)

has a potential to end up as a vocal god. currently however his favourite method of doing things with his voice is SCREAM

famously examines what things are by putting them in his mouth/licking them. he is a little creacher. he cannot change this

bites

#shut up shrimp #ye..lls.........#some other time i'll have to write about what the other dudes are doing in this au #idol au

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plainvanillapotato · 4 years

Text

the 100 diaries S2 E13

quarantine diaries: june 4 2020

season 2 episode 13: “Resurrection”

those buildings in flames. that burning horse. definitely reminding me of game of thrones

yikes. but hey can you give me a hand?

remember how they have one healer? i bet they wished that they had more than one now. they better at least start an apprenticeship. oh look at abby stepping up. but still only 2 healers in a field of injured bodies.

indra said put me down reaper. yes while were on the topic. remember how much of a struggle it was to detox lincoln in the first place...am i just supposed to assume that just quickly detoxed himself after seeing octavia??? seems kinda too convenient. woah they just double tapped indra. but she aint gonna die

i kinda agree that these sky people are the bringers of death. i know we dont know what kind of life the grounders had pre sky people but this all takes people within a few months and i gotta same damn. when shit goes down shit goes down.

that is deep hole. how did abby hear kane? especially with all the gunshots and other people screaming and yelling??

monty can do anything jasper. they brought back the hand shake!!!!

there are so many baldies. i cant tell them apart from lincoln. i legit thought that he was the one that was shot.

that touching of foreheads. i know it was meant to be romantic but it really seemed forced. i honestly dont see the chemisty between octavia and lincoln.

woah jasper. woah monty. woah miller. these kids were ready to murder. red wedding who?

honestly i didnt care about fox so im not that mad. but monty you didnt have to show jasper the video. that just assault to injury

american psycho who?

where is bellamy? its been too long since ive seen him

abby and kane... ship?

plot armor is strong with kane. no waaaaay abby. thank god i though that they super radiation blood was gonna also give them super strength. but at last not that lucky is she.

shes said im not leaving you. i know that aint clarke. screw clarke.

BELLAMY my boy. too been too long but at least you made it. bellamy and fox....ship? this better not be a ship

he said ‘really? because im not getting that.” bellamy vibe checked mayas dad so hard. bellamy is the vibe checker of the show. he went:

i feel your anger. yes clarke send out those angry vibez

how did clarke recognize lincon in the darkness especially when there are so many bald guys? not to mention she didnt know about him returned from mount weather after delivering bellamy

ooo abby using physics but when that concrete fell back on the wound. i screamed. ooo and ofc the rubble falls on them because the writers said why the hell not.

aaah what an ethical dilemma. “all you have to do is surrender” but surrender means death for the 47 so that means 47 for one life

its morning already. that sniper be there all night. how much ammunition did he bring??

this is not the time to be drinking Octavia especially not from a random, unlabeled bottle you found on the ground. but plot armor is strong like smoke wasnt even fully covering her

ooo yikes monty. its ok monty i forgive you

karmas a bitch abby. but also how are you still alive? what was that? did someone say plot armor??

abby said it is my fault. clarke is my daughter she said. ooof. way to stay quiet abby. what a snitch. but snitches be getting stitches.

you know it kane. yeah this is learned behavior

‘like floating the man you love to save your people’-abby the same people who only a few months later released the same video that she had her husband floated for. abby you didnt save anyone. fuck you abby.

i dont like to play god or anything but i gotta say it abby i dont really think that you deserve to survive. but good on you for questioning that

monty said screw this. yes monty.

of course its bellamy. but how? how did he get there? how did know the way there? like did he have mayas father whisper in his ear piece where to go??

aww i love the hugs between bellamy and jasper

jasper brought about FINN and his peace talks. yikesssss

but wait tho. this sniper is hella far from the village with forest of trees in his line of vision. who chose this vantage point because it sucks.

clarke really thought she was gonna out snipe a sniper with a pistol.

lincoln again with the headbutt

the shot through lincolns shoulder to the guy. what a shot? but how clarke?!! like clarke only had one shooting lesson with bellamy. but i guess bellamy is a REALLY good teacher i guess.

oooo that blood. but where did that blood come from honestly? where did the dead bodies go? am i just supposed to assume that these kids rubbed the body on the floor in that weird pattern?

how these mountain men not suspect of an inside man. like no one is suspicious of bellamy? hes too tall, too tan, too beautiful to fit in with these pasty ass vampires. but i guess the hat is just erases all that

you would think that these guys would be dead but plot armor is strong. let me be blunt. i dont care about abby or kane right now. like they dont have that many redeemable qualities but fine let abby’s healing skills save her once again

“we got two survivors” but dont yall remember when there was another girl screaming but abby was like no im not leaving you kane. basically abby let another person die. cuz i mean its not like she helped kane that much yet she stayed when she could have been helping another person. hmm

wow octavia and lincoln are the most consistent out of all the ships. octavia you surprise me. like i really thought you would have moved on by now. but why does it have to be them? they are my least favorite ship.

what a party popper abby. and with that stare between clarke and abby. i have never seen such a toxic mother daughter relationship ever in my life.

aww indra and lincoln. i love when friends reconnect.

this conversation between abby and clarke i cringed. the relationship is so strained it hurts to watch.

but abby, are you really the good guys tho? if it werent for monty and bellamy y’all could have fooled me. because you really be doing some questionable shit.

this music tho. they are trying to make it look heroic and epic but umm they're not. like maybe they were going for phoenix/rising from the ashes, vibez but they look pretty worn out and tired if you ask me

#the 100 #the 100 diaries #bellamy #clarke #octavia #lincoln #octavia x lincoln #maya #jasper #monty #miller #mount weather #abby #kane #indra #lexa #quarantine diaries #quarantine

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bluejaysgonerogue · 4 years

Text

I’m Sorry PT.2-Stucky x Reader

Read first part first!

Warning; Mentions of S***ide, cutting, extreme depression,

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3

Please, dive in.

—

I stop shading the background of a picture, looking up at the New York City Lights.

If you need me

Wanna see me

You better hurry

Cause I'm leaving soon

Sorry can't Save me now

Sorry I don't know how

Sorry there's no way out

But down

Mmm

Down

I skip the song, not wanting to think of jumping off this roof. I made them a promise, and I will keep that promise even if they hate me for it.

Promise us you won't ever die because you don't have us with you.

They had said those words with such seriousness as they sat with me on stools at the island. I had nodded my head, agree and telling them the same before we all kissed.

It's not true

Tell me I've been lied to

Crying isn't like you

Oh-oh-oh

I let a single tear fall down my cheek as I think of the pained looks they gave me. The first day I stopped sleeping with them, they looked so sad the next morning. When Steve had gone to pour my tea, he had found I had already finished the job. And added the cream Bucky usually drops in.

What the hell did I do?

Never been the type to

Let someone see right through

Oh-oh-oh

I had wiggled out of their passionate hugs from behind, shrugged off their shoulder kisses. I stopped going to dinner, lunch and breakfast, residing with tony in his lab. Steve and Bucky took turns dropping off food, but I eventually stopped eating

Maybe won't you take it back

Say you were tryna make me laugh

And nothing has to change today

You didn't mean to say "I love you"

I love you and I don't want to

They had confronted me a week after I left their room, asking me what was wrong and cupping my face and kissing my head and face. I told them I had rethought a lot since I had died and that I wanted to play the field. So, after they had started to leave me alone, I'd go to bars and hookup and date people. They didn't matter- just greedy people who wanted the chance to be in Stark Tower with the Avengers. Hell, one idiot even tried to steal nats underwear, and he didn't leave without a limp and a dislocated shoulder.

Oh-oh-oh

Up all night on another red eye

I wish we never learned to fly

high

I had gone to LA for a few weeks, meeting youtubers who wanted to feature me in their videos. I dated a guy for a hot minute, posting only one video with him. We had gotten this idea to reenact cute couple photos. We did, he edited it and posted. I stalked the comments from my hotel room, seeing that the YouTube account Steve and Bucky had set up had commented a few paragraphs. The guys fans got really toxic and hated on stucky, some calling them fags. Ugh. I hate that word so much.

Maybe we should just try

To tell ourselves a good lie

I didn't mean to make you cry

In the airport, after my flight, tony had Happy drive me back. I, Of course, didn't know that Steve and Bucky we're having meltdowns in the back of the car. After about ten minutes, I practically forced happy to pull over and let me sit in the passenger seat up front. We had sat in silence as we listened to the sobs of my exes.

"Yknow, tony told me they had been crying the whole time you were gone." Happy had said when we were on a less crowded freeway.

“I know." I had said, while giving a blank stare out the window.

"Could you maybe-just maybe- try forgiving them? All they want is you kid."

"I know."

"Look, you don't get love like that. It's once in a lifetime sorta thing. You gotta stick with it when you got it, because you never know when you're going to loose them."

"Happy, look, I'm just in the way of their relationship. Once they get over it, I know they will be happier without me, eventually." I give him the first reason why I'm doing this.

"Okay kid. Okay."

Maybe won't you take it back

Say you were tryna make me laugh

And nothing has to change today

You didn't mean to say "I love you"

I love you and I don't want to

Bucky and I had to spar for fury. The man had us in minimal clothing for some goddamn reason. And we all know how hot Bucky is with no top on. So of course I let it slip.

“Heya Moss." Bucky called me by my last name, something he'd never done before.

"Hello Barnes." I usually called him Sarge or James. But never before has I called him Barnes. He looked pained, like a kicked puppy. I know I shouldn't've fallen for it, but I did.

"God I love you so much." I gave him a hug before realizing what I was going. I quickly pushed myself away, rushing out of the gym, out of the shield base, and out of New York. I took a plane out to Columbus Ohio for a change in scenery. Went and saw some local bands, ate some of the best Chinese ever, and had a lot of one night stands.

The smile that you gave me

Even when you felt like dying

We fall apart as it gets dark

I'm in your arms in Central Park

There's nothing you could do or say

I can't escape the way, I love you

I don't want to, but I love you

When I came back to the tower, Natasha had actually ambushed me with hugs. She held me close and pulled me towards Steve and Bucky's Room.

In fact, that's where I am right now. Standing outside their door with Natasha's arm around my shoulder. She knocks, getting a weak 'go away' in response.

"Cmon, Ash. Say something. Sing something, just do something. They've been doing horribly. They stopped eating when Bucky came back full out bawling and in tears after the sparring incident. The team doesn't know why you started avoiding those two. We all know how close you guys are. Please ash they've been more miserable than I was after Clint." She stops for a moment. A vow she took to take a moment of silence after saying his name. "Please Ash. Say something to them. You're the only one they'll open the door to."

I look at her, a dumbfounded expression on my face.

"Nat, it's been three and a half months. They should be over me."

"Well, they aren't."

"Natasha, I don't deserve those angels. They're literal human gods. They're the perfect two people to be together. They're so compatible it's unbelievable. I throw that off nat. I throw off their relationship Becuase they feel like they can't just give each other attention, they have to give me attention too. Nat, I love those shïtheads more than I love the team. But, I hold them back. So I let them go. Natasha, it's 4 am, I just got away from some creepo who tried to take my uterus. I am not in the mood to deal with two crying men. Especially not the only two who I would actually cry for. So please, tell everyone to stop circling me in and let me go to my room." By now, all of the avengers, save tony, bucky, Steve and of course nat, has formed a circle around the door and me, all in full armor. Hell, Loki had created some fücking forcefield or something to keep me unable to go anywhere aside from inside that door.

"Ash, you have to pull your big girl panties up and admit that they can't function without you."

"They did just fine for a few months." I retort, staring Wanda and Natasha down.

"Loki, can your just pull them out? Or put her in there butt naked? Please?" Sam looks bored at this point, determined to get away from here and back onto his couch.

"Woah woah woah, no way in hell that is going to happen." I sigh, finally realizing they've cornered me. "Damn you guys are evil."

I turn to the door, putting my fingers on the glossy paint of the door. i let it rest there for a while, tears threatening to fall down my face as my lip trembles.

"Say something I'm giving up on you. I'll be the one if you want me to. Anywhere I would've followed you." I finally let the tears fall, choking me as I sing the song they should be singing.

"Say something in giving up on you." I wait a second before continuing. "And I. Am feeling so small. It was over my head. I feel nothing at all."

I lean my forehead against the door, my breath fogging up the paint. "And I. Will stumble and fall. I'm still learning to love. Just starting to crawl." I really was new to love. They were my first real relationship, of course.

"Say something im giving up on you. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. Anywhere I would've followed you. Say something im giving up on you." Instead of the strong voices used in the recording, I use my head voice, softly as it cracks with my sobs.

"And I. Will swallow my pride. You're the ones that I love. But I'm saying goodbye." I fall to my knees, feeling the eyes of my teammates burning a hole in the door.

"Say something, I'm giving up on you. And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. And anywhere, I would have followed you. oh say something, I'm giving up on you" I'm starting to give up on them. Maybe they won't forgive me. Honestly, I wouldn't blame them if they never did. I'm a horrible person for what I did to them.

"Say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something" I just collapse against the door, my back and head falling against it. I cry, looking up at the grey ceiling. I stop singing, talking softly now. I know that if they tried, they could hear me. "Say something"

"I'm so sorry. God I'm such a mess. I miss you guys. So much. I miss cuddling, I miss talking. I miss sleeping in between you two. I miss making you guys breakfast in bed in the rare occasion you guys weren't up before me. God I'm such a goddamned idiot. I'm so new to love. God, I've never let myself get this close to anyone before you two came along and crashed my party of one. God, I miss you two. So, so, so much. Y'know, Happy told me that you guys were miserable. God I'm so sorry I left you in the car. That should've done it. But it didn't. Because I'm the fücking idiot that I am and I took you two angels for granted." I pause, turning my torso to rest my hand on the doorframe. "God, I miss curling up in your tops, snuggling into your sweaters when I'm sick. I actually miss the empty feeling when you two are both gone on missions without me. I miss climbing into our closet and sitting on the floor between your clothes. I miss the sandalwood smell I get when Steve's been gone, and I miss the smell of cedar that becomes potent when Bucky gone alone. I miss everything about you guys and I don't know how I'm still alive and here. I don't know why I haven't just jumped off the roof of this tower."

That's when it happens. The door flips open and my head is caught by a warm lap. I am pulled inside the dark, musty smelling room, the door slammed after I'm inside. I look at the guy who's lap I fell in, only to not recognize him.

"Who are you?" I ask after a quick look at his face. He has long, long deep blonde hair and an unkept and unforgettably long beard. His eyes are a dull blue, and his face is tear stained. I look around his neck, breathing in his scent. "Cedar... Wait Steve?" I look at him. He looks like shït. And he's just staring at me with a blank expression.

"Oh my god Steve are you okay? Have you even gotten up lately? Why are your eyes so dull, why'd you grow your beard out so long? Why haven't you cut your hair? Where's Bucky?" I ambush him with questions as I look his face over, taking it inbetween my hands and moving it around so I can inspect him.

"Wait Steve why are you wearing long-" I pause for a moment, realizing what I'm saying. "Oh my god Steve no. God no. Please god please please please no tell me you didn't." He doesn't say anything, but the slight movement in his face tells me everything.

"Shit." I takes me a split second to trip his sleeves up, seeing the scars and lines of dried blood. They're deep, but healing well thanks to that serum. "You idiot. If it weren't for that serum you'd be dead and I couldn't yell at you for being so stupid. I mean, Nomad you at least took care of himself. Why'd you do that Steve? Why did you start-" I stop again, already knowing the answer. "Oh god I hate myself so much right now. What the hell is wrong with me. I can't even make up for the shit I've caused you. Damn I'm such a mess. Going around town and keeping beds warm. God I missed you Steve. I'm so sorry I'm such an idiot for leaving you two. I'm such a goddamned blind dense idiot-"

He cuts me off, pulling me to his chest and kissing my forehead. I let him sit there for a second, sighing as I finally feel at home. And then I remember.

"Bucky." I get up off of Steve, searching around the room for the brunette. My eyes sift through the piles of dirty clothes littering the floor. I rake through the closet before my eyes land on the bed.

"Dear god." I see him, gauze on his arm. He's collapsed in the bed, a pillow underneath his head and a blanket tucked around him. I rush over, jumping into the bed and inspecting him.

His arm is wrapped in bandages, his metallic arm slightly corroded. His eyes are staring at the ceiling, his mouth slightly ajar. "Steve?" He asks, low and slow. I let more tears fall from my eyes as I place my hand over his, lifting it to my lips.

"Oh god buck... I'm so sorry... I'm so, so, so, so sorry. God I'm such a fück up. I always leave you guys behind, letting you watch me from behind. What did I ever do to deserve you two... because I honestly don't. You two are angels in every way, and I'm the personification of hell... god Bucky why'd you do this..." his cuts are deeper than Steve's, almost to the bone. Most are healed over, the only fresh one on his upper bicep.

"Ash?" He asks, still not looking over. I let out a small cry, holding the back of his hand to my forehead. He moves his hand down, letting it rest on my cheek.

"Yeah baby?" He uses his hand to guide me above him. I can't stop the tears, hearing them hit the fabric as he moved me above him. His eyes are dull, blank, lifeless as they stare up at me. There's a small spark once his eyes focus, hope, before it fade away again.

"Is it really you this time?" He mutters, just loud enough for me to hear.

"Yeah. It's me. I promise buck. I promise I'm back home sarge. And I promise I'm never going to leave you two again." I give his forehead a light kiss before hugging him, my nose finding the crook of his neck. I feel Steve come and lay behind me, putting an arm around my waist lightly.

"Good." Bucky turns on his side facing me, his fleshy warm arm finding its way behind my lower back, pulling me closer to him. Steve shifts forward, placing a sweet kiss on my neck. Bucky pecks my lips before closing his eyes. After a few minutes I hear him and Steve lightly snoring. I open my eyes to see Bucky looking peaceful for, which I would later find out, the first time in a long time.

|—☆—|

I wake up, a soft light seeping in through the curtains. I try to roll over, only to be stopped by two pairs of hands.

"Oh no, you're staying right here." Bucky's husky morning voice breaks the silence as I huff back down onto the covers. He smiles, his sunken eyes and pale face making me frown slightly.

I pull Bucky closer to me, Steve groaning slightly at more movement. "Go back to sleep babe..." he mumbles, pulling me closer to his chest.

"How can I? You two are too cute to miss a second of taking in those features." I smile as I brush my fingers over his beard. I kiss his forehead, smiling before turning to Bucky.

"Wait... how come Buck doesn't have a beard?" I ask, brushing my fingers along his stubble. He looks me in the eyes, a warm, comforting feeling falling over me.

"I remembered how you said you like me clean shaven... so I shave." He says, a smirk on his face as he scoots closer to me and Steve.

"Ok mister crowd pleaser." I give him a quick kiss, nestling myself closer to him and Steve.

|—☆—|

It took us literally until 1 in the afternoon to want to get up.

Steve has left first, going to the bathroom and taking a shower. Bucky followed close behind, then I joined him the the shower and helped him wash his hair. They had already gotten dressed in simple jeans and T-shirt's, now cleaning up some of the messes they made.

I look down at myself. I'm wearing a pair of black cotton leggings, converse, yet I have no top on. Then it hits me. 'Bucky's sweaters!' I walk over to the dresser, reaching down to open the sweater drawer before I suddenly stop.

"Maybe they don't want me to wear them right now..." I breathe out, letting my hand fall by my side. I mean, I did leave them. And return their sweaters. I mean, I know that they used to love me in them, and I love wearing them becuase they smell like Steeb and buck, but may-

"Go on ash." Bucky's smooth voice rings throughout the room, interrupting my inner conflict.

I freeze for a second, suddenly having difficulty breathing at the same rate. I slowly turn around, letting my head fall to the side as my face contorts into a confused jumble of anxiety and fear.

"Wha...?" I let the word slip out of my mouth, my breathing hitching.

"Go on doll. Take a sweater or two." He smiles, using the pet name he gave me when we first met.

I stand, my arms against the bar as I look out into the ensemble of people. A man with brown hair, with strikingly blue eyes sits next to me, getting a beer from the bartender.

"Hello doll. Why are you alone on such a night?" He asks, a small smirk gracing his angelic features.

"Well, some boys cheat and don't cover it up too well." I say, looking out around the crowd before watching my ex, Conrad, dancing with some blonde chick in a skimpy dress.

After a second, the man breaks the comfortable silence. "Ah, so he's a disloyal idiot then."

I turn my head to him, tilting my head to the side and back as my eyebrows furrow together. "I beg your pardon?"

"Well, doll, any guy who get with you should stay loyal no matter what." He smiles as he sips his beer. "You're cute, and I can tell your Smart, witty, and filled with some sort of fire inside you."

"Well, it's nice to meet you sir. Names Ash. Ashlynd Moss." I smile, extending a hand to him.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Ash. I'm James." A metal arm reaches out to bring my hand up to his lips. I look at the small amount of the arm that is exposed, infatuated with the intricacy of it- even from a distance. He pulls his hand away quickly, moving it behind his back. "I-I'm sorry about that..."

"No no no, please it's nothing. In fact," I use my left hand to break the seal of the silicone on my hand. I pull the rubbery material off, sliding off the sleeve aswell. "I know exactly how you feel." I let my metallic Vibranium appendage shine between us. (It starts in the middle of the lower half of her arm)

"Wow, that's beautiful doll."

I smile at Bucky, turning and opening the drawer. I take out his biggest, fluffiest blue and red sweater, pulling it on. The neckline falls off my shoulder and the hem is at my mid thigh, but I love it.

"Thank you James." I smile, raising the sleeve to my nose to let the sandalwood invade my lungs. I go over and sit between Steve and Bucky, leaning my head on Steve shoulder.

We sit in silence for a while, just looking at each other and kissing lightly. I stare down at my right hand for a while, contemplating if I should take off the cover or not.

"Oh fuck it." I say internally, egging myself on. I push up on the latex, breaking the seal. My hand pulls at each of the fingers, breaking the suction between the metal the the fleshy material. I pull lightly on the bottom of the sleeve before pushing it down from above.

"Ash, why?" Steve mutters, both his and Bucky's eyes burning into my back.

"Because, I except you guys fully for who you are, and you do the same, then why should I have to hide this huge part of myself?" I turn around and look at him and Bucky. I give them a small smile, getting big goofy ones in return.

"It isn't a huge part of you ash." Steve says, nuzzling into my neck.

"Steve, I lost a third of my arm. That's a huge part of me." I roll my eyes, kissing the top of his head.

"Physically, Maybe it's a huge part of you, but emotionally? No. It's not a part of who you are Ashlynd. It's something that made you who are today.

"Steve, I lost my arm to a red room newbie. That's despicable. I had finished the graduation ceremony, and the kid came up, broke my bone clean and ripped the flesh off." I look down at the fingers. Flexing them in and out.

"Maybe that did happen doll, but it doesn't mean anything." Bucky kisses my cheek. "You're still the best girl out there."

"So you're saying I can't beat you or clint?" I smile quietly as I say these words, leaning away from Steve to look Bucky in the eye.

“No." Bucky takes my metal hand in his, stroking it lightly. "But I am saying you're better than Natasha. At least."

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era-of-new-beginnings · 4 years

Text

The Tragic Suicide of Virgil Black Ch. 2

TW: Bullying, Panic Attack, Violence (just a punch), Minor Negligence, Self-Deprecation, Swearing, Unsympathetic Deceit and Remus.

Damien is Deceit* (This was made before the new video so I will start to use Deceit’s real name in the next chapter, but for now I don't want to have spoilers for the new video in case people haven't watched it.)

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Okay so, Dear Journal, today had started out as a pretty normal day. Until it turned into an utter shit show! One bad thing after another and now I’m just sitting on my bedroom floor writing in this stupid thing….I guess if I’m going to do this whole tell my story thing, I should start at the beginning of the day.

Like I said, it was normal, and right on time Damien and his buds came up to me while I was walking to school.

Virgil was walking down the same path he does everyday, as he had learned a while ago changing paths never stopped Damien. It was almost normal when he and his goonies walked right next to him. He barely had time to react as he was shoved harshly into a fence, the metal digging into his shoulder and his head knocking on it a little. His face scrunched up in a wince before he could stop it, and he wasn’t surprised to find that they had taken his bag.

All of them reaching in and grabbing whatever they could, before throwing it to the ground. He just sighed internally as the (cliche) bullies continued. Eventually, they finally got bored, and with one final shove to him they were on their way. He crouched down gingerly and started to pick up whatever they had thrown out, which was basically everything.

Once that was done he got up and finished walking to our meet up spot with everyone else. They were all there already, Logan and Roman bickering about something and Patton trying to make sure it stayed peaceful. He sighed softly with a bit of a smile before covering it up and walking over to them.

He can see when Patton notices my presence, not only because he perks up like a dog but also because he basically slaps the other two on their chests. Virgil smirks and raises an eyebrow at Roman’s offended noises. Finally both him and Logan gives him their attention, which makes him blush and hope that his foundation covers it. “..Hey guys” He mumbled quietly, which wasn’t out of the ordinary really. His anxiety made it hard for him to talk at school at all but these three always knew how to get close to people.

After getting a chorus of responses back, the bell rings and they all go their separate ways. Except for Virgil and Patton, since they shared first period together. Something was off today though, something was wrong with Patton. Patton liked to keep up his dad like personality, and anytime they walked anywhere together Patton would make a pun or two (or few). Not only that but he had been fidgeting with the sleeves of the cardigan wrapped around his shoulders, which he only did….when he was hiding something.

Not realizing Virgil’s internal turmoil about it, Patton began to get uncomfortable with the silence and started to ramble about the first thing that popped in his mind. Which of course, had to be Winnie the Pooh. Practically regressing into a younger state of mind as if that will make him stop thinking about whatever was bothering him. Virgil had known him long enough to remember his ticks and fidgets. How to tell when he was lying, or nervous, or pretending to be happy.

The thing was, Patton hadn’t lied to them since they’d shared a night crying in each other's arms about their lives. He can feel the pressure in his chest at the thought. Why now? Why would Patton lie to him now, what was so bad he felt like he couldn't tell Virgil. He was sitting now, in a desk in his class. His class….what class was he in? He had to get out, he had to go. He stood up on shaky legs and slipped out the classroom door unnoticed.

Barely making it to the bathroom before collapsing, digging his nails into his arms, his hands moving back and forth between that and tugging (practically ripping) his hair. His chest felt constricting and everything felt wrong. There was an unknown pressure just pressing against every inch of his body. He stayed there for the rest of the period and some of the next one. He wanted to go home, but he knew his mother was at work and would yell at him for just randomly calling in.

So instead, he did the next best thing. He went to the detention teacher's class, knocking lightly on the doorframe as Mr. Sanders looked up at him. They shared a brief bit of eye contact before Mr. Sanders nodded to him and let him into the room. He took up his usual seat in the corner while Mr. Sanders called his teachers to get his assignments.

He stayed there, working silently until lunch. Part of him just wanted to stay where he was, in seclusion, away from any and all people. Especially his three crushes, they would know instantly something was wrong with him and wouldn't let up till they knew. Still, he must've scared Patton earlier by just disappearing.

So instead he just buckled up and grabbed his bag and headed out the door and through the hallway. Trying to calm himself and seem normal by the time he got to the table. Par for the course, Roman was adamantly talking about theatre like usual. Only recently had he roped Patton and Logan into it too. Virgil however had refused aadamatly, saying that he just didn't want to when the reality was he couldn't do after school things much cause he had to help out his mother and Remy.

He sat down at the table, head tilted so his hoodie would hide most of his face. He draws lightly in his sketchbook while barely listening to the conversation until he hears Roman say his name for the third time. Attention gotten, Virgil looks up at Roman’s face in confusion. He realizes that Roman had been talking to him, so he closes his sketchbook to silently say he's listening now.

Roman huffs and gestures wildly to Virgil “see? This is exactly what im talking about! He doesn't even care!” He sneers at Virgil and Virgil can feel the sharp feeling in his chest at the words. “W-what?” he asks, stuttering slightly in surprise. Roman throws his hands up, frustrated “You are stubborn as ever, ignoring me? Seriously? I get that you don't want to be in the theatre but you didn't even hear me out!”

Theatre, of course it was about the stupid fucking theatre. Virgil just sighs and shakes his head “Roman I’m not trying to ignore you, i've just had a bad day. I spaced out, I’m sorry.” And Roman just…. just barks a sharp laugh and glares “we all have bad days Virgil, that doesn't give you a right to be rude to everyone around you. You know what i think? I think that your a self-obsessed asshole! You don't think about anybody but yourself! I mean really, I knew you haven't liked me since the beginning but if you hate me so much, why didn't you just say so!”

Virgil could feel his hands shaking, whether with panic or rage was unknown for now. His shoulders were curled and risen defensively and he had gathered himself enough to glare harshly instead of bawling. He slammed his hands down on the table “of course you think that! I haven't even done anything wrong and yet your spouting nonsense! You didn't even ask why because you were so focused on insulting me and making me the bad guy. Like you always fucking do! I can't believe I ever thought that you'd changed! You are such an arrogant pompous bastard!”

He quickly stood, haphazardly shoving stuff in his backpack while the others gathered from their shock. Patton was the first to recover slightly, scrambling for words “o-okay now kiddos, both of you are spitting out some real harsh things. And over what? So why don't we just- just sit back down and talk through this minor dispute!”. Roman slammed his own hands down on the table, ignoring Patton ``Speak for yourself! You have no right to be mad at me! I didn’t do anything wrong!”

Virgil just growls, throws on his backpack and goes to walk away. But of course, Roman wasn't one for being ignored. So instead he grabbed Virgil's wrist before he could go any further. Virgil himself felt a spike of fear at the touch and was set instantly on edge “Let go!” he yelled viciously. But Roman only sneered back, ranting on and on, his grip tightening on Virgil's wrist anytime he struggled. Virgil snapped and yelled at him a few times but Roman just rolled his eyes and continued. Virgil was at the peak of his panic and wasn’t standing for it anymore as he teared back and punched Roman in the jaw, effectively making him let go as Virgil turns and books it out of the school and doesn't stop until he’s home.

His breaths are panicked and short and his vision was already starting to blur with sweat and tears. He manages to get to the bathroom before all but collapsing on the floor. Tearing at his hair and scratching his arms. Breathing was nonexistent and he could hear his thoughts spiral violently. Who knew if Roman would forgive him after this or if the others would take his side if he didn’t. He’d lose not only his only friends, but his three crushes. He stays there for hours and hours until he can hear the front door click, signaling that his mother is home.

Shoving himself off the floor and checking himself in the mirror (He looked dead) before fixing himself up to be presentable and going downstairs. He mumbled a quick hello to his mother before helping her with the groceries. He could see her strained smile as she thanked him. He just gives an awkward shrug before finishing putting things away, except for what they were going to use for dinner. He gets the required pans out to start cooking, him and his mom tending to switch cooking nights.

Remy isn’t home yet, but that's not unusual. He’s not even sure if his mom realizes his absence anymore. His hands tighten on the wooden spoon he's using to stir the noodles with. He reminds himself to breathe and not think like that. His mother provides for him, and that's more than enough. He's not ungrateful really, just worries sometimes that she doesn't love them.

After finishing up dinner, he sets the table and serves up the food. Pulling out his phone real quick to text Remy, although he knows that he’ll have to save him food in the fridge. If he even eats that to be honest, though if he doesn't either him or his mom can have that for lunch. They finish up their dinner in silence until his mom retires for bed after a long day and he gets a start on dishes. After those are done he trails up to his room and flops onto his bed. Sighing heavily he shifts to get comfortable and catches a glimpse of the journal on his desk. Thinking back to the reason he has it, he sighs once again and grabs the journal and a pen and starts to write.

Dear Journal, what the fuck is wrong with me!? This entire day was like a train wreck in slow motion and I don't even know why! I don't know what Patton's hiding from me or why. And I don't even know what made Roman blow a short fuse. Here I was starting to think he might actually like me, platonic or not, but i guess i was wrong. What do I do? Apologize to Roman or ask Patton about what he’s hiding?

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So! What do you guys think!? Also your first real option to change the story! Apologize to Roman or ask Patton about what he’s hiding? Lemme know in the comments, the one that gets the most comments will determine the answer. Also send me asks on tumblr! @era-of-new-beginnings

#sander sides #ts deceit #ts logan #ts patton #ts remus #ts remy #ts roman #ts virgil #my writing #trigger warnings #T.T.S.V.B.#LAMP

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itgetsbetter-ff · 5 years

Text

Chapter 4- Deja Vu (Part 2)

Dominique

Sighing, looking at my hair, I was disappointed because it was already fading. I knew Momma was gonna be pissed cause she just got it done, but i didn’t think it was gonna fade this fast. But I didn’t want to ask to get it done again, cause I’m treading on thin ice.

Katie has called me a million times, since my last visit, and because I hadn’t answered the phone, she’s called my dad a million times to try to talk to me. But let’s be real, I’m not going back to that hell hole.

Things around the house, still are strange. Dad hasn’t really said anything to me. Dad and mom started talking again, and everyone still talks to me, except my lovely older sister. The doctor’s told me that I’m stressing too much, which could be bad for my baby. But again, let’s be real. How could I not stress. I’m 16, pregnant, and I don’t know who the father is. I’m praying it’s my ex-boyfriend’s baby. But if it isn’t it’s Angel’s boyfriend. She’d literally kill me if that was the case.

“Hello, Earth to Dominique.” Kaliea said laughing before hitting me with a pillow, in my face.

I frowned and threw it back at her. “That’s not funny!”

She sighed, “Well, bitch, listen to what I’m saying and i won’t have to throw it at you.

We were in my room at my house, hanging out. But I honestly forgot she was here. Listening to your own thoughts can be deadly sometimes.

“Okay, what were you saying?” I asked

She shrugged, “Nothing important. What were you thinking about?”

“My hair. It’s fading, and I know my mom is going to be pissed if I asked to get it done again.”

She rolled her eyes, “You act like your sister and cousin don’t own a hair salon.”

“You act like my sister likes me. Plus, I don’t get my hair done over there, and she’s pissed that my hair is pink, just like hers.”

“Everyone in the family gets their hair and nails done there. Angel’s salon is literally the best in LA.”

I sighed, “Trust me, I know.”

I’ve actually been wanting to go over there, but Angel is just- i don’t even know how to explain her. Sage does hair sometimes over there, but I’ve been to scared to ask anyone to even get a service done. YES, the owner is my sister, but I know she’d rather have me far away from her place of business.

I looked up when I saw Lea on the phone.

“What are you doing” I whispered.

“Getting you an appointment in Angel’s salon.” she whispered back

I hopped off my bed, trying to reach her but it was already too late.

“Hey Tay! Can you do me a favor and do one of my friends heads for me please?” She said into the phone

“20 mins? Great see you there.” Then she hung up the phone

“Zoey Kaliea Hernandez-Boudreaux!!”

“What, I got you your appointment.”

~~~~

Sitting in this man’s chair, had me nervous. Apparently, he does Lea’s hair all the time and they’re really cool. But I was a nervous wreck that my sister would walk in her at any minute. He tried to make conversation with me, but Lea told him I was shy, so he didn’t press it too much.

We were almost done, when I saw Sage walk through the front door. Lea was sitting at her station, next to Tay’s and I knew I was officially dead.

“Lea?” Sage questioned, and Lea just smiled back.

“I forgot, you would be Sage’s cousin too, if you were Angel’s” Tay spoke to her

Sage chuckled, “Then let me introduce to you, Angel’s sister, in your chair, Dominique. Hello Domi.”

“Hi Sage.” I whispered.

“Aw, Hell. Zoey Kahliea, I oughta whoop your ass! You’re trying to get her to kill us all.” Tay threatened Lea.

She just shrugged, “Look, am I afraid of her. Hell yeah, but Domi needed her hair done by the best. This salon is the best in the city! She shouldn’t be afraid to not come to her own sister’s salon because Angel doesn’t like her.”

I knew she was right, but I stayed silent.

Once Sage went in the back, and Lea followed her, Tay turned me around and looked directly at me.

“Is this going to be an issue?” He asked,

I shook my head, “Is it for you?”

He just rolled his eyes, “She my best friend, but she ain God. A customer is a customer.”

I nodded not really knowing what he meant, but okay.

“Look, I know that girl like the back of my hand. You just got to give her time.”

I was confused, “Time? Time for what?”

“To warm up to you, yeah, she’s been a bitch to you, your whole life. But she’s a teddy bear. She told me that she took you to the clinic, she was the first person that found out. Held you when you cried. That’s the Angelique Marie Boudreaux Cartier that I know. She’s an asshole, but she wouldn’t do anything to harm you and she wouldn’t let anyone else harm you”

I sat there and thought about what he said. I know she can be nice, but I never really imagined that she’d be nice to me. We literally fought all the time. I remember the ass-whoopin she gave me, when I wrecked her car once. Technically, I was driving Dad’s car, and crashed his car into hers. But still.

“Do I owe you anything for my hair?”

“Nope, all family members that we know, are allowed to get free services, that includes you. Ms. Dominique.”

I smiled at him, but that smile turned into a frown as soon as I heard her behind me.

“Why are you here?” She said walking past me and sat into Tay’s chair.

I didn’t really say anything, but Tay interrupted me.

“I touched up her hair, Why you got your sister going to these ugly ass people’s salons. Ruining her hair.” He accused her.

“I dont care. Im here to get this pink off me, cause of her anyways. Andrea did you pay?” She said with venom

“She did. Stop being nosey bitch,” He spoke up for me

She rolled her eyes, “Well, daddy outside anyways to get you and Kahliea. So you can leave.”

I nodded, “Bye Tay, thank you.”

“No Problem honey.”

“Andrea, why are you still here.” Angel said dismissively

“Bitch you too damn rude. That’s your sister.”

“Shut the hell up Deontay. Before I whoop your ass.” She laughed

I didn’t hear the rest of her conversation, because I had left to go to the car. I texted Lea to come outside.

I got in the backseat of the car. “Hi Daddy.”

“Hi Dominique.” He said super dry.

~~~

He barely spoke to me in the car to drive Lea home, and he didn’t speak to me on the way home. I finally spoke up when we got to the house.

“Are you going to forgive me?”

He turned around confused, “What?”

“Are you going to forgive me? You don’t call me princess anymore, you barely look at me. or even talk to me daddy. Are you going to forgive me?”

“Angelique it’s not-“

“I’M DOMINIQUE!” I screamed.

He sighed and rubbed his face. “I know exactly who you are, I’m tired Dominique. It’s not that I’m not forgiving you, I’m just really disappointed. I wanted more for your life than teenage pregnancy.”

“I know daddy, but you forgave mom.”

“I wasn’t mad at your mother because you got pregnant. I was mad that she constantly treats you like you’re fragile. You’re not fragile. You can not be coddled by Giselle. You can’t be coddled by anyone anymore.”

“I just- I know i messed up, but Daddy, I want you to talk to me. I already have Angel hating my guts, i cant have you hating me.”

“I don’t hate you. I love you to much. You and all of your brothers and sisters.”

I shrugged, “It doesn’t feel like that sometimes daddy.”

“I apologize for that Princess, I’ll try to do better.”

I smiled, “You called me Princess.”

He rolled his eyes, as he started to get out of the car, “Yeah whatever, get out of the car, so you can get dinner.”

I got out of the car and stood next to him “Daddy, my next doctor appointment is next week, will you come, with mom and I?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” He said hugging me and kissing my forehead.

I haven’t hugged my Dad since he found out I was pregnant, I missed him.

Rose

“ANDRE ISADORE KARTER JUNIOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I can’t belief this little boy. He has all of his shit just spawled around my damn house and I was sick of it.

“Yes Ma’am?” He called out

“Come downstairs please?”

I heard him stop his video game and come down the stairs. He looked exactly like his father and it was kind of sickening sometimes.

I started to point to his entire mess. “AJ, We’ve talked about this. The living room is not your room, there is no reason why all of your sporting gear should be all over the living room. I’m not cleaning it up.” I said trying not to strangle my child.

“But dad said-“ He started

“I DONT CARE WHAT YOUR FATHER SAID! CLEAN IT UP NOW!”

I wanted to pull my own hair out sometimes. Raising a 12 year old boy is exhausting, like I’m going to have to ask Olivia and Giselle how they did it, because I can’t.

“Yes ma’am.” He muttered and started to clean up the mess.

I went into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of white wine, its been more common now. I knew that I should get started on dinner but I honestly didn’t even want to cook.

“Hey what are you doing?” I heard Rack say.

“Mom said to clean the living room.” AJ mumbled.

“Go ahead upstairs, I’ll talk to your mom.”

I rolled my eyes and started to walk out the kitchen,

“No, you stay your ass right there and clean Andre.” I gave him an evil eye, which made him continue to clean.

“Rakim, can I see you in the kitchen please?”

Once he followed me in the kitchen, “Baby cmon. He’s a teenage boy, they do shit like that.” He shrugged dismissively

I scoffed, “Rakim, he needs to learn to pick up after himself. You’re not doing it and I for damn sure will not do that shit.”

“Rose, I think you’re overreacting.”

“STOP UNDERMINING ME WITH HIM!” I screamed, I honestly was tired of me being the bad guy and discipling AJ, and Rack coming in and being super fun dad. No, that is not how this shit works.

I guess he realized I was serious, once he saw my face.

He sighed, “I didn’t realize that it bothered you so much”

“Yeah, well it does. Constantly.”

He came over to me and put his arms around me, usually, I would melt at his touch, but lately he’s been feeling like a stranger.

“Gi and Liv invited us out to eat. You know just couples i guess.” He said.

“That’s fine. I guess, I’ll go get dressed.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Having dinner with my family, usually always puts me in a fantastic ass mood. But today, it just wasn’t right.

First, the argument with Rack and AJ, then we get to the restaurant not only is my brother there, he’s there with his on/off side piece Callie, whom we all dislike. Then LOL Here comes Lizzie with Kamryn. I just couldn’t. Dinner was a disaster and then i asked Gi and Liv how to basically deal with Andre Jr and Rack gets a whole attitude with me.

Which leads us to right now, Arguing.

We’ve been arguing since we got in the car on the way home and that was 3 hours ago.

“Rosalie, see this is exactly what I’m talking about! You don’t listen to me, and you treat AJ and I like shit. What’s the matter!” He yelled

I didn’t answer. He looked at me like I was stupid.

“Hello!!”

“Andre, leave me alone.”

“No Rosalie!! Why are you like this to us! What did we do to you?!”

“BECAUSE I’M SICK OF HIM RACK AND I’M SICK OF YOU!!”

As soon as I said it, I regretted it. But I couldn’t take it back.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean Rosalie?” He said, very coldly.

“I - I dont know, I shouldn’t have said it.”

“No, you know exactly what the fuck you meant! Go ahead say it! I forced you to have a kid after our first baby died, and you didn’t want any more.!” He yelled in my face.

I didn’t say anything at first, but I needed him to say her name.

“Say her name Rakim.” I gritted.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” He sighed.

“Say it!!! Nicole Azaiah Karter! Stop pretending she doesn’t exist!”

“She doesn’t Rosalie!! YOU HAVE ANDRE TO WORRY ABOUT NOT NICOLE! Nicole is dead! LET IT GO! Andre is LITERALLY UPSTAIRS! Stop pretending I forced you into fucking motherhood! YOU WANTED THIS JUST AS MUCH AS I DID!” He yelled back at me

“YOU DID! I didn’t want anymore children after Nicole died! I WAS DYING RAKIM, I had no choice BUT TO TERMINATE HER! We broke up, i realized I was being stupid because i loved you. We said nothing could tear us apart and that it was okay and we talked about it adopting and surrogacy but after awhile, I just accepted that a baby wasn’t for us. YOU forced me to look into surrogate after i told you no for YEARS! You forced me to be a mother! I DIDN’T WANT HIM ANDRE, I WANTED NICOLE! I WANT MY DAUGHTER BACK NOT YOUR SON!”

Again, as soon as I said it, I instantly regretted it.

“Get out.” He mumbled.

“What?” I was shocked

“I said, Get out.” He said clear as day, looking at me. If looks could kill, I would be 1,000 ft under.

I looked at the clock in the kitchen and it said 2:33 am.

“Rack, it’s almost 3 am!!”

“I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK! GET THE FUCK OUT! You resent me for having our son! You don’t love him, you don’t love me! so GET THE FUCK OUT!” He screamed at me.

I started crying, “THAT’S NOT TRUE I LOVE THE BOTH OF YOU!”

“Rosalie, I’m not gonna tell you again. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!” His voice boomed, that it literally scared me. He’s never talked to me this way before. Ever.

“Mom? Dad?” AJ called from upstairs

“Everything’s alright sweetie. Go back to bed.” I called out to him, trying to make sure that my voice didn’t shake.

“Dad?” He called out again.

“Listen to your mother AJ.” He called out never taking his eyes off me.

“Yes sir.” and he went back to his room, and we heard the door close.

“Rack, please. I need you to understand” I begged. He cut his eyes at me.

“By the time I wake up to take him to school, I want your ass gone. I’m not playing.”

He started to go up the stairs into our bedroom but I grabbed his arm.

“Rack!! Please!”

He snatched away from me and continued to walk upstairs

“Go to Hell Rosalie.”

I watched in awe, Andre has never spoken to me like this before,I saw him turn left and go into the guest room next to AJ’s room, and slammed the door.

I jumped and the tears immediately came, I covered my mouth and sobbed. Not to disturb my son, or even Andre. I collapsed to the floor crying, because I probably just single- handedly just broke up my family.

What the fuck did I just do?

Avery

Here I am, 44 years old, still doing the same shit I was when I was in my twenties. Partying, drinking, spending, and living my best life. But also getting my ass beat almost every other night by my long-time boyfriend, King, the most powerful drug dealer on the west coast.

I’ve done a lot of shit in my life, including, being a mistress and getting pregnant, leaving my son, being with an abusive man who is also married, getting pregnant 5 more times by him, and having those babies. King doesn’t claim the kids because then his wife would find out and then our whole lives would be taken away from us. I’ve had 2 still born babies due to my cocaine habits, one daughter Ameila, who is 12 taken away from me by the state, I currently have my 9 year old son August and my 2 year old daughter, Aria.

King takes care of me, and I take care of the kids, when I’m sober. But I take care of King most of the time. I don’t live in the best of areas, but it’ll do for now.

“Baby?” He calls out

“Bathroom,” I was covering up my black eye with makeup, and then I had plans on getting high as a fuckin kite

He came in and stood behind me, putting his hands on my hips and kissing my neck.

“How was your day, daddy?” I said provocatively

“Same bullshit. Wife problems.”

I rolled my eyes, but I made sure not to let him see that. I don’t need anymore pain.

“You gonna relieve my wife problems baby?” He spoke against my neck, giving me love bites.

I started to moan, because damn, that felt good.

“I’m trying to finish this daddy.” I moaned out.

“I said now” He growled, and one of his hands travelled down to rub my soaking wet pussy, I only had on a t-shirt so it gave him easy access.

“You’re always so wet for me. Who pussy is this?” He whispered in my ear

I threw my head back onto his shoulder moaning, opening my legs wider as he started to finger me. “Fuck, yours daddy!”

I was upset when he removed his hand and walked into the bedroom.

“Come ride this dick.” He ordered and took down his pants sitting on the edge of the bed.

I quickly followed because he doesn’t like to wait and threw my shirt off, exposing my naked body. Seeing his dick made me even hornier than before, I couldn’t wait to cum all over it.

I straddled him, and he entered me, we both moaned out. His taking my hips and guiding me, i used his shoulders for balance, as I bounced up and down.

“Fuck me, daddy, please!” I called out throwing my head back in pleasure. He put my tit in his mouth and started to suck on it, which sent me even higher.

“Ugh, your pussy feels so fuckin good. You dripping all over me!”

I was just about to cum, when someone started banging on my damn door.

“IGNORE IT!” He growled, and I was going to, King’s sex was better than cocaine and alcohol combined. When we were drunk, high and fucking, it’s out of this world.

I could tell he was getting frustrated, but I was trying to cum. So fuck the door. I kissed his lips and started down his neck.

“Cmon daddy, ignore the door, make me cum. I’m about to daddy. All over you” I moaned.

He groaned out loud, louder than before and I knew he was focused again. But then the somebody started pounding on the door. He got mad as fuck and threw me off and my ass hit the floor.

“Go answer the fuckin door.” He mumbled.

I nodded and picked up my shirt putting it on, running to the door, I was mad as fuck at whoever was at the door interrupting me having sex. August and Aria came out of their room.

“Go back in your room! You don’t want your father mad at you!” I scolded and pushed them in the room and closing the door.

“AVERY HURRY THE FUCK UP!!!” He screamed from the bedroom

I came to the door, just as the person was about to knock again,

“WHAT!” I screamed

But I immediately stopped. I saw the expensive clothes, the expensive shoes and purse. Long black hair.

This bitch hasn’t aged a fucking day.

“Olivia?” I choked out.

She looked at me up and down, and grimaced.

“We need to talk.”

Sage

I was on the phone with Marie and she was telling me what happened to Aiden with Dad. I was in shock. I mean I know that Aye’s mom was a touchy subject, but for my dad to make Aiden cry, I would have never guessed that.

“I’m gonna call him, to see how he is.” I said into the phone while ironing my clothes.

“Yeah I think that’s a good idea, he’s been staying in the penthouse in Malibu, and I take him food and bring him clothes.” Ree said

“Isn’t that a far commute from school to the house to the penthouse?” I questioned

“I mean, I guess but he’s my little brother. I’m always gonna look out for him. You know daddy pretty pissed at you too.”

I wasn’t surprised, but he hasn’t called an told me that, so I was indifferent.

“What the fuck did he expect me to do? Lie? Shit if I didn’t know mommy, I would’ve wanted to know her, even if she was crazy.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. You know he don’t like talking about it. I guess he thinks its gonna upset mommy. But you know she don’t give a damn.”

I laughed, “Right.But Ree how’s school?”

“Eh, Its okay.” She said dismissively

“Marie.” I warned, She completely ignored me and asked

“Have you talked to Angel?”

“No. Not since I saw her at the shop earlier this week. Why?”

She started laughing, “Nothing, she mad at Dominique again, like usual and she just being her crazy self. I went to get my hair pressed out yesterday and she vented to me about a lot honestly.”

“You know that heffa is crazy. She gets on my nerves though.” I laughed

“Sage, when you coming home?”

I laughed “Marie, I just left.”

“I know, but I miss you. Between Aiden and Maurice, plus daddy being mad at Aiden. It’s all driving me insane! I need my sister” She whined.

I sighed, think about why i wasn’t at home. “ I should be home soon, I have to handle and tie up a few things in NYC and I should be home in a few weeks.”

“Spa day when you come back?”

“Of course.”

~~~~~~~~~

Entering the courthouse, I got weird flashbacks and it honestly scared me. I hated talking about this and I hated being in New York. New York was supposed to be my solace after the hell I went through in LA, but NY made LA look like a piece of cake.

“Calling to the stands Ms. Sage Lavigne.” The prosecutor said.

I took the stand and promised under the oath. Blah blah blah. I was wiping my hands on my pants because they were sweating really bad under the pressure.

“Ms. Lavigne, why are you here today?”

I cleared my throat, “I am here to give my testimony, about what occurred when I was 17- 21.”

“How old are you now?” He asked.

“I am 25, about to turn 26 in a few months.”

“Okay, let the record show that Ms. Lavigne is the states witness and will be telling the situation from her perspective.” Then he nodded for me to go ahead and speak.

I cleared my throat, and took a shaky breath.

“When I was 14, I was in a relationship with my first love Aaron Cole. Everything was good at first, he was about 2 years older than me, and that’s what I found attractive about him. He was older, He had money and he was always nice to me. His little sister was my cousin’s best friend so I saw him all the time. Picking her up and dropping her off.”

I pushed my hair behind my ear, it was never easy for me to talk about Aaron. He caused me so much pain that I could never imagine.

“So, when I turned 15, everything changed. He became mean and argumentative. My 15th birthday was the day that he first hit me. I should’ve left that day, but he promised he would never do it again. But that was a lie, because he beat me almost every day after that for about 2 years. I hid it from my family and friends, because I loved him. I wanted to protect him”

I knew the tears started to fall, and I knew I was done for.

“So, on my 17th birthday, I told him that I got into college and that made him so mad. He thought that I had another year of high school left. He thought that I was going to leave him behind and that because I got into college and he didn’t go that I was better than him and so he constantly would demean me and he beat me so bad, that I almost died. My mom found me in my bathroom crying, bloody, bruised up and she rushed me to the hospital. This was when I found out that I was pregnant, as soon as I got better I ran away to New York. My parents didn’t know about the baby, no one did. I was too far along to get it aborted but I wasn’t showing either. My freshman year, I really didn’t go home, to hide my pregnancy and I gave birth by myself in the hospital.”

“That was the second hardest thing I had to do, because the first was putting her in the care of family members.”

The lawyer interrupted asking me a question: “ I thought you said your family don’t know about your daughter.”

I nodded, “My immediate family. My daughter is in the care of my step-grandfather’s side of the family. My intention was to always come back for her, but once her father was either in jail or dead. I couldn’t have him looking for her. But by the time I was 20, I fell in love again. I was dating this guy who I went to school with, his name was Chandler Burke, he was also a few years older than me”

“He had gone to jail before but he was getting his life together, and he was everything I was looking for in a man. We had been dating for a year, and everything was fine, until I told him about my daughter. Next thing you know, Aaron shows up at my apartment with Chandler and they beat me until, again I almost died. My neighbor found me on my doorsteps passed out and called 911. In the hospital, I suffered broken ribs, i had to get my jaw wired shut, and internal injuries. I also was notified, that I had suffered a miscarriage and that because the bleeding was so bad, it would be hard for me to have children without medical help or surrogacy. I was carrying Chandler’s child and him and Aaron beat me near to death again”

“They never knew my daughter’s name or where she lived, but they knew she was alive. But what I didn’t know was that Aaron sent Chandler to watch over me. Chandler’s real name was Antonio Cole. Aaron’s older Cousin. I didn’t know they were related.”

By this time, I was full on sobbing in court. Telling this story to anyone, hurts me every single time because they stole everything from me and it took a long time for me to even get the courage to tell anyone, let alone a room full of people and a judge.

“Ms. Lavigne, can you answer on more question?”

I nodded and he asked, “Why specifically are you here?”

I blew my nose and gathered my words, “I’m petitioning the court, to allow me to gain full rights of my daughter again.Her father is dead and his cousin is in jail. They cant harm her or be harmful to her anymore. I want her to come home with me, and my relatives aren’t willingly giving her back to me.”

“Could you explain?”

“I guess, since they’ve had her from the day she was born, they have grown attached to her. She calls me mommy and she knows exactly who I am. My relatives feel that I can’t provide for an 8 year old when I can. I have multiple successful businesses, I send my family child support because they were doing me a favor, a trust fund in her name, a house and a room that she can call her own. I just want my baby back. I want what I lost when I was 17.”

“What is your daughter’s name?”

“On her birth certificate it’s Dahlia Angelique Elise Boudreaux-Lavigne. But the court has her under Dahlia Angelique Elise Karter. But I call her either Dolly or Dahlia”

“That’s a long name for a child.” He joked.

I laughed, “My name is Sage Elise Boudreaux Lavigne. My first name is Sage Elise and Middle Boudreaux, and Last Lavigne. Sage is my father’s grandmother’s name and Elise is my mother’s mother’s name. Boudreaux is my mother’s maiden name and Lavigne is my father’s last name”

“My daughter’s name means everything. So Dahlia is a flower, one of my favorites actually. But in Arabic it means Olive branch. I took that as a play for my mother’s name Olivia, which means the same. Angelique is the name of the person I want to be her God mother, my best friend and Cousin. So her first name is Dahlia Angelique. Elise is her middle name and I made her last name hyphenated because all of my cousins carry the last name Boudreaux and then their father’s last name. I couldn’t name my daughter Cole because he is a monster that doesn’t deserve to know about her.”

“Anything else the court should know?”

I shook my head, “I just want my daughter back,”

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buckyusuallytopstony · 6 years

Note

Hey got any fic recs?

These are a few of my go-to fics!

Rocket Science by marsmaywander & orbingarrow - Sleep-deprived and under-caffeinated, grad student Tony falls asleep in a conveniently empty classroom and wakes up in the middle of Bruce’s Physics 101 course. After seeing a groggy Tony fumble a simple question, actual-student Bucky offers to tutor him. In a moment of “oh no; he’s cute” panic, Tony takes him up on it. Now, in addition to his already complicated life, Tony has to figure out the answer to the incredibly messy question: “How do you look like you’re failing the class, when you literally wrote the book?”

Winter Wooer by fakesheep-luna (octavaluna) - Winter may not be the most pleasant guy to live or share your body with, but he isn’t nearly as destructive as everybody expected him to be either. He likes to brood in the corners, watch British TV, and freak people out. And Tony. He really, really likes Tony Stark.There’s just one problem – Bucky’s pretty sure he doesn’t feel the same way about the guy.

Forms of Love by bear_bell - Months after the Avengers’ dispute in Germany, the team returns to the US and moves back into the tower. As always, everyone pretends that nothing happened. Tony is just fine with this. He’s used to pretending, and he’ll be damned if he lets any of them see him flinch.

Tony’s the bad guy, after all. He’s used to it. He’s fine with it.

He’s good at it.Only now, there’s something far worse loitering around the tower - The Winter Soldier. No one notices the guy at first, but when they do, Tony figures that he should have the solder’s back.

Birds of a feather should flock together, and the bad guys should start a book club.

(This is a series and I love all the fics in it) Who’s been lovin’ you good? by withered - Each entry is complete and exists (mostly) independent of each other.

When the Rogues come home it leaves Tony in the dreaded position of keeping an eye on them - all up close and personal after the events of Civil War.

Whether the Rogues are pretending to play nice; delusional beyond explanation or high-and-mighty on arrival. Tony finds back-up and solace, in the one person he didn’t expect: James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier.

(Beware the line)

Two Roaring Handfuls (and a bit more) by tisfan - Everyone seems to know that Tony Stark has a huge dick (even if the angle is bad in that one video.) Bucky would like some independent verification of this fact.

On A Scale From Panic to Malfunction by Petroltogo - Turning into a mindless killing machine isn’t what one might call a conventional reaction to a panic attack. It’s a good thing for Bucky then that Tony has never cared much for conventions anyways.

Four Strings and Second Chances by Vashoth - It was reluctance to let one of his finest inventions ever out of his grasp that made him take a couple days over a week to send the arm to Pepper’s office. But all things considered, Tony figured that sending finest prosthetic that had ever come into existence–literally grasping an olive branch–was one of the classiest gifts he’d ever given. He’d included a note and everything.

This isn’t Violence, this is just a war in my head by Sleeponrooftops - Tony’s been stumbling his way through life for 45 years without any assistance, thank you very much, and he’d like to point out that forgiving the man who killed his parents is on the negative side of his to do list labeled NEVER. The problem is, they’ve got a few scars in common, and somehow they become little nightlights during each other’s darkest moments.

The (Not So) Great Pretender by RayShippouUchiha - “What,” Tony says softly but with a great depth of feeling, “the actual fuck just happened?”

“I believe, Sir,” JARVIS pipes up from the phone in his pocket, an unnecessary amount of what sounds like glee in his voice, “that you’ve once again managed to maintain your closely guarded secret identity. Truly your subterfuge skills know no bounds.“

“You’re an asshole J,” Tony mutters back as he reaches up to rub at his temple. He either has a headache coming on or a blood clot. At this point he’s honestly not sure which he’d prefer.

“I did learn from the best, Sir,” JARVIS tells him sunnily.

(this is another series) дезинформация by Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar) - Bucky had only known Anthony Edward Stark for a few hours before he found himself compelled to share a secret that had been eating him alive since he began to once again reclaim the right to his own thoughts and feelings.

Meet Me Again, Time After Time by Syriala - "Where have you seen me? Did anyone else see me?” Tony turned around and the Soldier put the gun to his forehead. Tony couldn’t decide if he wanted to lean into the door or the gun. “You come to me all the time. I took care of your arm the first time” he said and pointed at it. It was clad in leather today and through the glove Tony could only see the silver fingertips. The Soldier took a step back and shook his head. He seemed to concentrate hard on something and then said “No. You cried.”

The Funvee by Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar) - Prompt: AU where Bucky was one of the soldiers in the humvee with Tony in the beginning of Iron Man. He survives the fight, but loses his arm, and when Tony finds out Bucky is alive after the events in IM, he desperately tries to win Bucky’s forgiveness while Bucky (initially) wants nothing to do with him.

The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway by Gabbeeh - It’s cold and Tony and Bucky seem intent on skipping team training to hang out on the couch instead. Then there’s a call to assemble and a kidnapping happens.Oh, and do you realize how uncomfortable it would be to have a piece of metal attached to your shoulder or stuck in your chest when it’s winter?

Time Falls Away by NotEvenCloseToStraight - The Battle of New York: Tony flies himself and the nuke through the wormhole and when his suit shuts down and he starts to fall, he knows he’s going to die.

But then he wakes up in an alley in Brooklyn, two strangers staring down at him in confusion and Tony is sure he is dreaming when he shakes hands first with pre-serum Steve Rogers, and then Bucky Barnes.

Bad Days by NotEvenCloseToStraight - Prompt: Bucky likes Tony, but is too scared to tell him. What he doesn’t know is that every time he has a “winter soldier” moment, he is constantly protecting tony and not letting anyone near him, so tony already knows that Bucky likes him (“genius, remember?”). Bucky finally gets up the courage to talk to Tony, only for Tony to tell him what’s been going on and he’s been waiting for Bucky to be comfortable enough to actually tell him. Happy ending!

Scars by Arvensis5 - When Tony tried to urge the homeless guy sleeping on the steps of the Tower’s loading dock to move, he never expected that he’d found Hydra’s pet assassin—James “Bucky” Barnes.

Now, after months of keeping his presence a secret from the Avengers and helping Barnes learn to cope with both his returning memories and the modern world, Hydra is back for their favorite toy and Tony must call in old friends to save the life of the man he just might have come to care for a little too much.

Cuddle Duty by Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar) - The one thing no one had felt the need to warn him about was also the only thing for which he’d have actually appreciated a heads up. Tony liked to cuddle. Looking at him, you wouldn’t have pegged him as the cuddly type. Nothing about him looked cuddly. He wouldn’t let people hand him stuff, even with his improved mood he hung back half the time, as if he wasn’t part of the team. The other half he got so in your face some of them might have missed the hanging back.

Nothing prepared him for the sight of a zombie-like Tony staggering into the common area and latching onto Clint (of all people!) like a limpet.

Going Down by orbingarrow - When Clint gets nabbed by the Tracksuit Mafia, Bucky and Tony are the only two Avengers available for a rescue op. It’s a shitshow from the start. Tony can’t call the suit, Bucky’s arm is compromised, and Clint’s contribution mostly involves him humming the soundtrack to some 70s porn and making snarky comments from his wall.

#winteriron #fic rec #winteriron fic rec #tony stark #bucky barnes #iron man #the winter soldier #becca replies

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keithsbladeofmarmorasuit-blog · 7 years

Text

keith’s last vlog

after Keith leaves for his BOM mission, the team finds a USB stick in his room, under his pillow, with this video on it.

Dialogue

hey guys, chances are that you’ve found this video by now. I don’t have many belongings, so it must have been easy to find.

And, um, this is all I left behind. *voice crack and rubs fingers together*

okay, *closes eyes* keep it together, Keith. *slow exhale*

I used to be the paladin of the Black Lion. But, I don’t know what to say about myself now. I guess Im a member of the Blades, if they consider me one. There’s a lot I still need to learn, and so many people more qualified than me in the Blade of Marmora. I guess I was a vital member to BOM while I was a paladin, but Im not a paladin anymore. I honestly wonder who I really am. My only identity, the only part of me that ever felt real, felt like I belonged, felt like home, was when I was Red’s paladin.

However, I guess i didn’t belong there at all. Red bonded with Lance, I would never take that away from either of them. Being the black paladin made me feel sick. I felt like I was just strengthening the divide between you all and Shiro when he came back if I piloted Black. Ever since I figured out that I’m Galra, there’s been this undertone distancing between us. I don’t blame anyone, I just wish my circumstances were different.

I love Red. Me and Red had this unexplainable relationship, he was there for me though thick and thin. A lot of the times when I would need to cry to someone at night, I would just sit near Red and his presence just soothed me, cooled my blood, made me feel wanted. For once, I didn’t feel like I was bothering someone with my problems.

But, Lance, when you told me that you felt unneeded, unwanted, that you felt like everyone was excelling and you were falling behind.

I know how that feels! I would never want anyone else to feel that way! Lance, you don’t deserve to feel that way!

So I backed out of Voltron. I quit, gave Black back to Shiro and Red to Lance. As Lance said, we need our best fighters on the battlefield. I was not going to let my weird mental health issues get in the way with something as important as fighting the Galra.

So I moved to a position a little less vital. If I died or screwed up in the BOM, I would be replaced by another guy. It would still work out. If I made a mistake while in Voltron, which I did do multiple times and I am so so sorry guys that I screwed it all up for all of us, then it would affect millions and most importantly, it would directly affect you all.

Over time, I learned to consider you all as family. No, even more. You guys are all I had and all I have ever had, no one had ever made me feel wanted or needed before, until I joined Voltron. Every time I made a mistake in the past, people would never forgive me. They would just leave me to wonder what I was doing wrong. I guess, it was unfair of me to assume the same about you guys, but I couldn’t handle it. What if I screwed up one day and all of you would leave? All of you would give up on me. All of you would........

stop loving me. *tears*

So I had to leave first. I had to leave before I made a mistake and hurt you all, or ended up broken again.

I love you guys, thank you for all of the good memories. But I can’t do this again,

I can’t get attached again,

I can’t let my hopes rise again,

I can’t get hurt again.

Please continue Voltron without me. It’ll be easier without me, anyways. No more arguing between me and Lance, and no more impulsive and dangerous moves on missions. I hope Voltron suits you all well, and please know that i am a call away if you ever need support in a fight.

Lastly, I recorded this for a specific reason. I know how deadly these upcoming missions with the BOM are, so I recorded this just in case I would never see you guys again. *voice cracks* I love you all so much.

Coran and Allura, thank you so much for introducing me to Voltron. You really helped me find a place where I belong. I have felt at home for the first time in my life. I wish you guys luck with everything and I hope you can live to see more Alteans and a world where they are abundant.

Hunk, you were always so positive and funny. Thank you for all of the hugs and jokes and times that we have shared. I love you so much, and I hope you continue with cooking and engineering and can finally settle down on Earth once this is all over and become as successful as I know you will be.

Pidge, I hope your whole family is reunited once again. I hope you can sit with them at dinner again and eat familiar and warm food while laughing and cracking science jokes. I know that’s what you miss most. I hope your hair can grow out again, because you told me you missed it, I hope you and Matt will continue to make amazing advances in galactic technology and travel the universe together. I hope you grow up to be a beautiful and kind person that I know you will be. You have always been like a little sister to me, and I love you more than anything, Katie Holt.

Lance, I hope you get to see your baby twin cousins. How old will they be when you get back to Earth? What will Ms. Blue Lion (Or Red Lion I guess) look like? I hope she makes you the happiest, I hope you stay laughing and smiling as you always have. I hope you know how important you are, how great of a man you are, how humble and funny and pretty you are, I hope you get to reunite with all 53 members of your family where you guys can practice family traditions and drink warm soup with each other. I hope you get to sleep in that soft blanket on Earth that you're always missing. I hope you get to drink chamomile tea and eat Earth food and dance in the rain the day you get home. I hope you get to do everything you want to. I know you will be successful, I know that you will make an amazing father and husband and that you will become famous. Lance, I love you so much. Please don’t give up on your dreams, please don’t stop smiling, and if you ever need any support, remember our moments together and how incredibly talented you are. You’ll make it through, man.

Shiro, you are the rightful leader of Voltron. You have worked so hard and you really deserve to be exactly where you are right now. I am so proud of you for never giving up. Unfortunately, I am no where near as strong as you.

You’re so inspirational, you never gave up, even when the chance of survival was so little and when hope was spread so thin. You have taught me so many things, you have wiped so many of my tears, and you have comforted me countless times. Shiro, I love you so so so much, and I am really going to miss you so much. I wish you all the best with everything coming up in your life, you will make an amazing dad and husband. I can’t wait for you to get back to Earth and see how popular you are, and for you to receive all the attention and recognition you deserve.

I am going to miss you so much, but you have so much light ahead of you, such a bright future. I am so proud of you for all that you have done and haven’t done. I love you, Shiro. Keep going.

After the fight with the Galra, if I am still alive, I plan to travel the universe in search of my roots. Never know how far away we will all end up from each other, but you will all always be in my heart.

Again, thanks so much for everything.

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beautyindisguise00 · 4 years

Text

Are you one of those people that LOVE to hug others?

Thursday October 1 2020 @2:53pm

1. When was the last time someone saw you naked? last weekend. my boyfriend

2. If you could bring someone back from the dead and spend an hour with them, who would it be and what would you do/say? my grandma. i’d ask her how she felt about how things are going with the big three family now

3. What is the greatest loss you’ve endured? my grandma

4. How would you describe your current mood? calm and relaxed

5. When was the last time you did something you were embarrassed by? crying myself to sleep last night. ugh, im so sensitive sometimes.

6. What was the last thing you lied about? i dont remember. haha

7. Where is your favorite place to have sex? still have my v-card,but the bed. haha

8. What is your earliest memory? getting lost at a sports tournament. haha

9. Do you ever drink or get high alone? i drink by myself, but not to get drunk

10. What type of a drunk are you? very chatty and giddy

11. What song (or a few songs, whatever) means a lot to you and why? there’s a lot.

12. When was the last time you revealed your feelings for someone? Were they accepted or rejected? last weekend to a guy friend, Luke last weekend to my boyfriend a few weeks ago to my best friend, Angela all where of different feelings, but thankfully they were all very accepting

13. What was the reason behind your last visit to the hospital? visiting a friend who was in a motorcycle accident

14. How do you tend to deal with a breakup? i haven’t been through a bad breakup and i hope i wont ever, but if i ever do. i’d probably cry myself to sleep each night and go through the motions through the day. i’d stay off social media until i’m ready to show my ex what he’s lost

15. What is the “worst” drug you’ve done? Are there any you will never try, or any you want to try? i’ve never done drugs

16. What is something you’ve done that you truly regret? forgetting to log out of my facebook messenger on my mom’s phone....

17. What does it mean to you to be a good person? Do you feel you are a good person? someone’s who’s kind. goes out of their way to help others. and many more. i can be a good person, but im not always

18. What is your philosophy on life/how do you generally choose to live or conduct yourself? enjoy life. be kind to others. bring glory to God

19. Do you view animals as being just as important as people? Why or why not? animals should be treated with care and kindness.

20. When was the last time you were up all night and why? my boyfriend and i were out with his family

21. What is the worst thing you’ve done to yourself? What is the worst thing someone else has done to you? not love myself like i should be. form options about me without getting to know me

22. What is the most personal thing you’re willing to reveal? depends on who you are

23. What made you stop talking to the last person you cut out of your life? we just grew apart. neither one of us put effort in the friendship anymore

24. Is there a situation or person you haven’t been able to get over/forgive? not anymore, i’ve learned and moved on

25. Who was the last person to yell at you? Did you yell back? i havent been yelled at in a while.

26. Where did your last injury come from? no major injuries lately. the last one i can recall was when one of my kiddos rammed into my toes and my toe nail chipped off

27. What are some kinks or turn-ons you have, if any? uhhhh, neck kisses, dirty talk, nip play. hahahaha

28. What are you like during arguments? stubborn. haha. and i try to be right all the time.

29. What is the worst thing you have said to another person? they’re a b

30. Where do you like to be kissed? lips and neck

31. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? the first one

32. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way? i was tired, sleep deprived, had a migraine from drinking too much. so i got upset at my boyfriend, but at least i knew not to say anything i’d regret to him. we talked about it the day after and we’re all good now.

33. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them? if i wasnt already with my mom, then my mom. i’d tell her i love her and everyone else. i would want to hear her voice before i go.

34. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? i’d tell those who are important to me first and spend as much time as i could with them.at first, i’d be afraid, but i know where i’m going so i’d just miss everyone more than anything

35. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? i dont see the choices

36. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not? i can’t see my boss saying that to me, but i’d do my best to save that dog

37. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most? well, essentially, they’re the same people so I’d end up getting hurt by both

38. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say? my best friend is my boyfriend. haha

39. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not? yes. I’d do that for my boyfriend so he’d be able to send one more hour with his grandpa

40. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? yes. haha

41. Does love = sex? not for everyone

42.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not? honestly no. I also have financial things to take care of my own. I would very horrible, but i just can’t

43.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person? just shared my intimacy life with a guy friend on a long road trip. nothing too bad, but i dont really talk about stuff that personal to me. haha

44. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back? that i didn’t love them back or more so the feeling was not mutual

45. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? my love for people. you can’t tell me to stop loving someone

46. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you? my kiddos at work

47. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why? honestly, i cant think of anything. not saying this last month was perfect, but it wasnt too bad

48.Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you? uhh, a wwe fighter. haha jk probably my boyfriend

49. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not? yes. i’d always to try save a life

50.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision? neither one of my grandmas are here

51. Are you old fashioned? in some ways

52. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? work. haha

53.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why? how it is true love when there’s a broken heart?

54.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be? being able to travel anywhere and anytime

55. What was the last thing you ate? a chocolate chip muffin

56. What kind of guys are you usually attracted to? guys who are kind to others, athletic, and hott. haha. honest truth

57. What’s the stupidest thing that’s happened to you that ended a friendship? they drunk way to much and got on my nerves

58. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve had sex at a time? vcard stil here but when my boyfriend comes to visit, we get intimate about 2-3 time a day. hahahaha morning, mid day, and night. lol

59. What reality shows do you watch? not much. sometimes KUWTK here and there 60. Post a video of yourself here: no thank you

61. Where do you work? at a daycare

62. Have you ever gone up to a car thinking it was yours and tried to get in it? no i always check the plates

63. Where do you buy most of your clothes? tj maxx

64. If you were very intelligent and had the capability to have any profession, what would you like to be? teacher. haha

65. What’s your most irrational fear? use to be dolls. ahaha

66. How many radio stations do you listen to? i have about five saved on my car, but i dont really listen to the radio often. i usually just listen to my own music

67. What kind of music do they have? today’s top hits and Christian

68. Would you rather go to Greece or Hawaii? hawaii!!

69. Musicals: Yay or Nay? depends some yes some i’d pass

70. What are the next concerts you’ll be going to? i dont have any planned right now

71. What was the last conversation you had with your best friend about? the meeting we had

72. Are you one of those people that LOVE to hug others? nah, depends on the person but a quick hug is okay if we’re not that close, but if we are then sure, hug on!

#beautyindisguise00 #q&a #gettoknowme

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prompt-master · 7 years

Text

Dear Evan Hansen Headcanons

- Jared once bought heelies because as the school funnyman it’s practically his job- but then he rolled down a ramp and crashed into a fountain

- when Connor was alive he punched a kid who made fun of his black nail polish

-Evan has both a fidget cube and spinner, but uses the cube more often. Jared used to tease him for it but then he saw how much it helped Evan and let the boy be free

-Evan has actually been handling his anxiety a lot better since the whole Connor project incident, and it makes Heidi and Jared so happy because: you’re doing great sweetie look at you go

-it took Evan a really long time to tell Jared how he actually broke his arm and when he did it was very a random very fast word vomit while they were hiking.

-Evan falling out of the tree is now the one thing Jared will not make fun of

-Jared once tried to ask Evan out and ended up screaming “YOU WANNA GO” at him and Evan instantly thought Jared wanted to fight and was Afraid

-things were incredibly awkward with Zoe for a long time. Most of the time they accidentally met in the orchard and Evan would always, without fail, start apologizing. Zoe is so used to it that whenever she sees Evan she instantly says “it’s ok.”

-Heidi takes as many days off as she can but she’s still really busy, whenever she’s home she’s making all of Evan’s favorite foods and they chill out and watch cop shows

-Heidi usually asks how Evans day went and if he’s doing ok, and Evan makes sure she’s not over exhausting herself

-One time in the middle of Evan’s routinely “I’m sorry I fucked up so bad” speeches Zoe suddenly asked “so you wrote that letter?”

-Evan didn’t go to the orchard for a week after that he was so shook

-whenever someone accidentally steps on the back of Evan’s shoes he loses his shoe, everything in his pockets, and face plants

-Jared is gonna make fun of Evan until he dies but if anyone else does Jared will personally show up to your room that night and end you

-Zoe actually helped to mend their very awkward relationship by making stupid jokes before Evan could open his mouth and after that they were able to just have a comfortable silence

-Jared is the living embodiment of “I made you a friendship bracelet” “lol that’s so stupid” “you don’t have to we-” “NO IM NEVER TAKING IT OFF”

-he may or may not have a few of Evans friendship bracelets around his ankle

-after middle school Jared actually got really afraid of being bullied, so when high school started he upped his teasing to the next tier

-Evan tries really hard to comfort Jared when he feels like shit- which is more often than you’d think- but it’s just so hard to tell when he is and he always throws it off with a dumb joke

-one time Jared teased Evan about the Connor project, and went too far, Evan didn’t speak to him for the rest of the day, Jared almost cried

- sometimes when he can tell Evan is having a rough day he invites him to places randomly- “hey so all my totally awesome friends bailed on me for the mall, and I figured you’d wanna go since you have no life or whatever”

- alternatively Evan sits by Jared and makes awkward small talk, and just gives the boy a chance to tell him what’s wrong. He’ll give him his cube if Jared seems especially anxious

-Zoe once asked Evan if anything he told her was true, and he told her about the printer story. She seemed somewhat happy that Connor cared she was in the letter.

-Zoe once stabbed Connor in the eye with mascara and still finds it one of the funniest memories of him

-Zoe is a music depression person, she sits in her room with music full blast a lot

-“wait Zoe you know that you don’t have to like forgive me and be friends with me right like that’s totally ok i know I screwed up so-” “I know, I also don’t have mourn Connor” “…so why are you at the orchard so much”

-she never explains this

-one time Jared jumped on Evans back and they both ended up in a river

-he knows Evan has the strength to hold him up and dammit he’s gonna prove it

-one of the things Evan doesn’t regret about the Connor project is his speech because he still gets messages of the video thanking him and telling him how helpful it was

-Evan really wants a hamster, like really fucking badly

-Jared constantly greets people with “sup I’m gay” or “sup Hereros”

-Jared also constantly points out hot guys in hopes that Evan will agree because he can’t tell if Evan really is bi or not he just gets bi vibes from him

-“hey can you help me find updog” “what is..updog…?”

- this happens with Bofa too

- Connor used to be the master of avoiding situations. If you tried to have a serious conversation with him he’d either distract you or you’d turn around and he’d just be gone.

- he also does this thing where he pulls his hoodie up and pulls the strings whenever he just can’t deal with how stupid this is

-Jared was the first to drive and oh god what a mistake that was, he’s terrible

-Zoe once laughed really hard and spat gum at a teacher by accident

-one time while hiking with Evan he reached over and ate a leaf and Evan can’t even look at him the same way- what is wrong with you, Jared

- operation ask Evan out part 2- Jared tried to let Evan come to him because who wouldn’t you know? Then Zoe explained that she solidified the relationship- so he took Evan to the park but ended up eating too many chili dogs and throwing up on the curve when he got nervous. He was still trying to ask him out while hurling

-Alana becomes Number One Leader, she’s great at it, she’s learned to listen to other people more often.

-she hangs out with Jared and Evan a lot, she usually organizes the hangouts

-was voted most likely to succeed in life and honestly? It was probably unanimous

- Jared and her are in the “Evan was a dick to me” club and have tshirts

- eventually they let Zoe into their club

-one time they were hanging out and invited Zoe without Evan knowing and Evan nearly jumped out a window he ran away so fast

- Alana saw Zoe’s stars on her jean cuffs and got so happy “oh my god that’s such a great idea it looks so cute!” “Oh thank you it’s just-” “do you mind if I do it too?” “Not at all but why-” “do you have a marker?”

- Evan can’t tie his shoes

- Alana ends up uploading a bunch of videos of Zoe playing songs, and they get some good attention. Zoe was shocked but Alana just explained that it was inevitable

-Jared goes through everyone’s phones and changes people’s contact names to memes

- “Evan stop apologizing so much” “I’m sorry-” “Evan no. None of that. Please” “ok ok I’m sorr-” “EVAN”

- Evan and Alana hate litter. Like a lot. Jared will never understand it but whenever the two are out they’re just picking up all the litter they find and throw it out.

-Jared once made a joke “maybe you guys should just carry around bags to carry garbage in”

-After they started doing this Jared made another joke: “why don’t you two make a recycling project”

-after Alana and Evan become save the world co-presidents Jared learned he really needs to stop joking.

-Jared cried when he graduated

#dear evan hansen #headcanons #I'm sorry this is so long I wrote this on the bus #I like to think that I'm funny and creative ahhh #I have more.

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s3venpounds · 5 years

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1 - 102

ASK MEE RIDICULOUSLY PERSONAL THINGSSSSSSSSSSSS YEEEEEEEEEEEE i love this shit

thanks for the ask anon, at this point im sure yall already know everything about me but hey whats a couple more questions c:

1.) what’s a song you depict with your childhood?

YIKES tough right off the bat huh? it would have to be the opening to digimon frontier ayyyyyyyyyy i still listen to that shit every fucking month. its that or disney’s hercules i can go the distance that shit was just MMMMMMM good shit2.) did you have a memorable childhood pet?

yep a blue and white love bird my family called quick silver we taught it to do adorable little tricks like pick up our pencils when we do homework and it rolls away3.) have you ever been drunk?

hehe yeah fun times4.) have you ever tried drugs?

yup! curious about trying more hard drugs but also i dont wanna get addicted or like idk die/get arrested5.) have you ever completely regretted what you’ve said?

ALL THE FUCKING TIME. infact at work i told a customer we didnt have a thing and the customer was like whats that right behind u, and it was the thing they were looking for i felt so stupid lmao6.) have you ever made someone cry?

yeah.7.) has someone ever made you cry?

yeah.8.) have you ever been in love? if so, describe the moment you knew it.

honestly idk if i ever have been in love. I would think that i have but yknow you never know what the future holds so looking back something in the past could pale in comparison to something in the future9.) which came first the chicken or the egg?

the chicken, evolved from some other bird10.) are you part of the lgbtq+ community? do you support them?

dunno if im part of the community by status but i wholeheartedly approve and support them. speaking just for myself though I just think I’m me and nothing else. whether im non binary or male or female or something else doesn’t matter to me. im attracted to who im attracted to, feel what i feel, and do what i want with a hint of salt. If plants can have like 10 000 genders or whatever, then anyone can be whatever they want unless its something fucked up like age fluid lmao if youre 60 youre 60 even if you have the “mind of a 14 year old”11.) how many siblings do you have?

412.) have you ever been in love with someone you couldn’t love?

yeah in fact just recently13.) are you a good cook?

fuck no. i fucking wish tho, not even a good cook i just wanna be able to copy recipes on tasty’s facebook page hahaha14.) what is your favorite tv show?

right now i dont have one and i definitely dont watch tv shows often unless you count anime then haikyuu!! or My hero Academia15.) what is the last movie you cried during?

i think it was a tyler perry movie something about a funeral and a family reunion honestly i cry when any movie has a really strong family sorta bonding specially if the family was broken at first and they all healed together and became closer as a result16.) what are songs you’ve cried to when you first heard them? (if any)

none, i did cry whe i was listening to wild wild love by GRL and pitbull for some reason? 17.) do you have a middle name?

nope i do have a nickname given to me by distant relatives18.) have you been out of your country?

yeah thankfully ive been out of canada multiple times19.) are you a chocolate fan or not?

love chocolate in fact im drinking hot chocolate right now, little cold going on so i need it20.) how many people have you kissed?

lips? less than 15, in general no matter where? couldnt count21.) what is your favorite album?

the only album i loved in its entirety has been marianas trench master piece theatre22.) what is your dream car?

2003 dodge viper23.) what is your lucky/favorite number?

i always wanted to be ironic and say 13 but i’ve kinda been leaning towards 10 like hinata’s jersey number24.) what is your favorite flower?

lilacs cuz the color25.) books or movies, why?

movies, less thinking for me26.) have you ever been on a blind date?

nope but i’d love to try it27.) has one of your friends ever backstabbed you?

yep28.) have you ever backstabbed one of your friends?

i dont think i have? not consciously.29.) what thing do you symbolize love with?

an act of self sacrifice or something handmade or personally tailored to the individual receiving30.) do you have neat handwriting?

i adore neat handwriting! its like a breath of fresh air, simple and precise to read, and it feels like you can read faster when it is31.) do you have a friend with benefits?

nope but i’d love to have one!32.) do you want a friend with benefits?

just said but yeah i’d love one!33.) if you could be anything in the world, what would you be?

A hero.34.) have you ever been blackout drunk?

nope but my body refuses to drink any more alcohol once i get to my good buzz point. like all alcohol makes me wanna throw up the second i get past the point its almost like my mind and body are two seperate beings lmao35.) have you ever met someone famous?

i think i have? one time when i went bowling with some relatives, there was a crowd gathering around this blonde dude who was playing house of the dead and this one guy in the crowd approached me saying “ do you know who he is? hes famous?” and then i blanked out after that because i just wanted to watch someone play and mentally check out for an hour36.) how many concerts have you been to?

3 concerts! all which were very fun !37.) which concerts have you been to?

one was an ed sheeran concert for his divide album, another was a marianas trench concert in klondike days edmonton, and the last was a country concert im not sure who it was my sister wanted me to go with her38.) do you have a hidden talent?

i can match any generation 1 pokemon just from their cries some generation 2 but beyond that only a handful from each other generation39.) what do you do when you’re stressed?

masturbate. honestly its the only sure fire thing i’ve done that clears my head for the longest time and relaxes me lmao40.) do you think money can buy love?

of course! just depends how you use it! like if youre just throwing money at random people like “hey love me” itll be fake, but if you say, pay off a struggling student’s loans in full and give em a good fresh start im sure theyll be grateful to you for years to come. or if you pay for someone to get super super expensive surgery so they can die from old age rather than a disease or something then yeah they’d love you forever41.) how old would you date?

honestly not sure, i havent really tried dating anyone a lot older than me i usually date within 4-5 years older or younger? though i dont think i’d see a problem dating someone 10 years older than me42.) have you ever done something illegal?

hehe. ye.43.) what is your biggest fear?

death. too long to elaborate44.) what is an unusual fear you have?

fear of what happens after death45.) can you drive?

nope but i plan to learn how to and take my exam within the next 2 ish months46.) do you believe in supernatural creatures?

of course! as many evolutions that were made common place theres bound to be evolutions that somehow spurred legends and mysteries47.) do you believe in karma?

of course! 100% of the time i expect some stranger to just walk up to me and start slapping me or punching me or throwing water or soda in my face for something i did, though i also prepare myself to say” okay i probably deserved that but can i ask why?”48.) what is one quality you need in your partner?

need to love physical affection, if not i dont think i can last with them, physical affection is so important to me its just as important as saying i love you, it like reassures me that theyre there with me in that moment and that theyre happy and just. physical stuff tells me a lot ok49.) do looks matter?

on first impression? oh hell yeah. keep in mind strictly first impression. im not gonna cut off a potential friendship or relationship because someones not my type or whatever i cut people off if they do something fucked up and horrible50.) does size matter?

to some people im not one of them51.) who is the last person you forgave?

I can’t really remember, i forgive people for small stuff all the time but with big personal mistakes i usually hold grudges52.) what is your favorite ice cream flavor?

French Vanilla53.) what languages can you speak besides english?

none but i plan to learn sign language eventually that and visaya54.) ever been on a plane?

yep! i’ve been out of the country so that definitely means by plane i dont know anyone who goes on roadtrips long enough to get out of the country55.) ever been on a boat?

yeah! i thought i’d be seasick but turns out i enjoy being on the water its kinda calming56.) is there anyone you’ve lost touch with that you wish you hadn’t?

yeah my childhood friend ralph, cool dude but our friend groups and interests just kinda diverged57.) are there any friendships you regret?

yeah..58.) are there any friendships you wish you could make?

oh hell yeah! there was this one girl who always ate at the same cafeteria as me and my friend group and i regret not inviting her over and being her friend59.) have you ever stayed awake for 24 (+) hours?

yeah! specially during summer it really sucks and i only do that when my mental state is at a record low self punishment i spose60.) have you ever walked outside after 12 am?

hell to the yeah! its the best! like a music video or adventure but it really just helps me clear my mind. oh wait i guess that kinda counts for the calms me down thing so late night walks and masturbating bahahaha61.) have you ever seen a sunrise completely through?

yep! one time with an ex girlfriend! we stayed from 2 am till 10 am i think singing songs and talking and cuddling on those big swings with a bowl at the bottom62.) are you scared of rollercoasters?

NO !!! I LOVE ROLLERCOASTERS!!!! im kind of an adrenaline junkie!63.) on a scale of 1-10 how stressed are you usually?

i personally feel like a 3 but thats probably because im already used to a 7 because of old issues i need sorted out that i’ve just kinda grown to live with the stress64.) do you have any plans this weekend?

considering its sunday? no, next weekend? im working65.) do you miss anyone right now?

yeah. i miss em a lot.66.) who do you wish you were talking to right now?

K,Z, and C i miss em67.) if you could have any superpower, what would it be?

the power to fly or have wings that can make me fly. I associate flying with true freedom. 68.) who is your favorite superhero?

All Might69.) are you dirty minded?

ridiculously70.) what is your favorite song from every decade starting at that 80’s?

im too lazy for that shit bro…71.) how many kids, if any, do you want?

2 preferably? 72.) who is your biggest OTP?

im not super into shipping just cause it can get pretty toxic but asami and korra73.) what is your favorite food?

aw man im too much of a carnivore to pick just one thing man. uhh fried chicken or this one pork dish my mom makes thats super easy to make its like canned beans with this orange sweet kinda sauce and pork belly slices and potato chunks omggggg i eat so much of that. the last time my mom made that i actually ate the whole thing and i had to make more for everyone else lmao74.) do you want to be married one day?

yeah. it’d be nice not to have to worry about being alone for the rest of my life75.) dogs or cats?

dogs are great and so are cats though i have more patience for cats than i do for dogs. dogs to me are like energetic little kids and thats fine as long as im not dealing with them for an extended period amount of time i get drained pretty easy. cats are like roommates show you love and attention when they want but arent opposed to keeping you company the whole day76.) do you drink enough water daily?

i have no fukcing clue i literally just drink water whenever i have an excuse to drink.77.) have you ever seen a shooting star?

not that i know of? like theres a few times i think i did but i wanna see one thats like unmistakably a shooting star or comet thatd be neat too78.) if you had the opportunity to go to the moon, would you?

not long term? yeah id love to, just to feel what zero g feels like and the view of earth

79.) how many best friends do you have?

3 ish……..80.) when was the last time you cried?

a few nights ago when they stopped talking to me i cried like a little baby lmao ahhhhhhhhhh yikes81.) have you ever laughed so hard you peed yourself?

nope82.) have you ever made anyone laugh so hard they peed?

i think? there was this one dude who literally thought everything i said was genuinely funny though to this day i have no idea if he was serious or not. i also have not seen that dude ever since83.) if you could travel any where in the world, where would you go?

Venice Italy.84.) what are 3 words you would use to describe yourself?

Lonely, Filth, dependant85.) do you consider yourself a loyal person?

no, if my loyalty gets in the way of what i think is the right thing to do then i disregard the loyalty86.) what is your favorite season and why?

Winter. for some reason growing up i always felt like winter was unappreciated and i had this train of thought like “ even the cold needs to be loved” that and most of my wardrobe is just winter stuff. plus midnight walks feel so much nicer since its so cold out you know for a fact no one else would be walking around because whos gonna wait in a dark alley at -30 to mug, rape or kidnap someone.87.) have you ever told anyone you loved them, and didn’t mean it?

nope. if i ever said it i meant it.88.) do you know how to play any instruments?

not reliably. like i know some songs on guitar from youtube tutorials but i can’t play the guitar in all circumstances yknow like i learned the song without mastering the basics89.) do like like falling asleep to music or not?

nope. i need like silence to sleep but ambient noise is preferred. music gives my brain something to focus on and thus stay awake90.) what are you allergic to?

pet fur or feathers and stuff. my eyes get puffy, my nose clogs up and my skin itches91.) have you ever wanted to be someone else for a day just so you could see what there life is like?

a sad, extremely rich person and a happy, extremely poor person. to show me what to be grateful for92.) if you could be any character from your favorite tv show would you, and if so, who would you be?

huh, thats tough… if its haikyuu i’d love to be daichi, if its my hero academia its hawks or deku93.) if you could be best friends with any celebrity who would it be and why

Gal Gadot, I feel like she’d be such a positive influence on my life and that thing she does to people who are shorter than her where she cups their face in her hands omg i’d melt everytime. i just kinda wanna be like a little brother to her lol

94.) are you outgoing?

i would say i am?95.) have you ever wanted to kiss someone, but weren’t brave enough to?

oh fuck yeah im fucking gutless96.) are you a good flirt?

nope. awkward and weird af97.) have you ever been turned down, or have you ever turned anyone down?

yup all the time. part of life98.) which planet is your favorite?

never really thought about planets much but i do stan pluto as a planet99.) are you superstitious?

to an extent100.) are you a good listener?

i’d like to think i am101.) are you a good kisser

also like to think i am probs not102.) would you kiss any of your friends?

all of them honestly well not all of them. mostly cuz yknow theyre taken or theyd probably hate me if i did some of them are super defensive about physical intimacy

#ask me shit

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