#you guys will ABSOLUTELY not foresee the actual plot

[arkhammaid]

this fic started as crack fic but... i fear it's not anymore?

[physalian]

How to Keep your Insecure Character from Becoming a “Nice Guy”

Or Nice Girl

The very last book I will have beta’d for the foreseeable future had a lot going for it, but one trait I absolutely despise in fictional characters is insecurity that makes it everybody else’s problem (I mean I hate it in people, too). By this I mean, the girlfriend who cannot tolerate her boyfriend having other friends who are girls, and whining to him about it. The partner who still wonders if their lover loves them, with zero evidence to the contrary, constantly forcing a tiring debate to sate these unfounded claims.

The thing is. Real people are like this.

But the other thing is: Fiction is meant to entertain.

It’s never the insecurity that I have issue with (I am not immune to it myself) it’s the impact that insecurity has on the story. If this protagonist had quietly kept it to herself but allowed the rest of the story to move forward, and dealt with it, if not alone, but in some progressive or even regressive manner, just not stagnant, it might’ve been okay.

So the scene that would have had me DNF immediately if this had been an organic read was these two adult middle-aged characters. Stalker plotline. The boyfriend is a has-been. The girlfriend, protagonist, has already had many a bout of insecure nonsense (oh he thinks I’m ugly as he’s railing me against my dresser) but the breaking point is when she’s sent an explicit photo of him when he was younger, mid-sex with some model.

And this lady is absolutely crushed. The revelation that… this is a person who has had sex before… is somehow shocking. Like, this character seemed to desire a 50-year-old virgin who is also an adonis. The whole time I’m reading her only care about her own feelings, when I’m thinking “do you not give a single fuck about how your boyfriend feels seeing himself so exposed, a picture floating around on the internet at anyone’s mercy? How he feels to be reminded of this moment and manipulated, too?”

I’m sure I’m in the vast minority who cannot stand these types of characters, but I would have quit the book right then and there. The book was also a who-dun-it, meaning any character could be a suspect, including the boyfriend. So we’re sitting here with multiple red herrings while the protagonist ignores all of them to whine about how the man’s unbridled and unflinching love and adoration for her just isn’t enough.

Bitch then be single if you can’t handle the knowledge that your 50-year-old celebrity boyfriend got around when he was younger. You knew what you were getting into. Which was my sticking point—it wasn’t like this was a shocking twist reveal. She knew from the moment they met that he was a bit of a player. It would be wholly different if he’d led her to believe that he’s some devout celibate saving himself for her.

Is this entertaining to other people? It’s not to me.

Separating it from the actual insecurity for a second: When you force your character to go around in circles in their arc and development, no matter what that arc and development is, you have stagnated the plot and each time they meet the same pitfall, they make the exact same choices that keep them in this loop.

None of this insecurity subplot amounted to anything. She eventually got over it after one arbitrary conversation but she didn’t change as a person, it didn’t do anything for the story, it was just there, probably an outlet for the author to exercise her own demons.

But this is a story and I am not entertained and your author insert is subject to the same scrutiny as everyone else.

So.

What *I think* are compelling ways to write insecure characters. Because I wrote one. My protagonist in ENNS.

You can and should absolutely write for yourself. Just always remember that if you only write for yourself, you can’t expect everyone else to like it, and you can’t get mad when they don’t. They are not you and they don’t have your tastes.

Have the insecurity be part of their arc with movement, either forward or backward, so they don’t become a static and boring character

Give them some evidence, any evidence, to support this insecurity. Maybe their love interest really does have an issue with some physical trait. Or in the past they really have been bullied or mocked for it. Anything so that this character’s fears have merit and can become tragic and relatable instead of unfounded and annoying.

Have this character take actions to augment this insecurity or cover it up, so that they’re not going “ugh I’m so ugly… but I’m not doing anything about it it’s just here”. Like wearing oversized clothes, keeping their hair in their face, speaking softly or not smiling with teeth—whatever it is, give them some agency in this fear. This is still a character trait and internal conflict, therefore it needs some actual conflict. Inaction is unappealing.

Balance out the negativity with something more compelling. They might be insecure but they’re really skilled at this one thing, or they’re really funny or kind or smart, so the audience has something else to root for instead of just a character who is negative and self-deprecating for the entire story.

Show that though experience proves this insecurity garnered them mistreatment, this current person they’re trying to impress really doesn’t care one bit about it, and don’t make it the other character’s problem. You can still have the protagonist wary and skeptical that the comments haven’t started, but let them do so quietly instead of cornering the friend/love interest with zero evidence to demand attention when said friend/love interest has done absolutely nothing wrong.

Like. If this was a murder mystery, and you had a character who, with zero proof, started suspecting Character E, and didn’t even look at A-D, despite all the mounting evidence that E is innocent, Protagonist is just fixating and projecting and stuck in their own head, would that be entertaining? You’re reading a murder mystery to live vicariously through the hero and use their smarts and observation skills to try and solve it yourself. You’re not here to watch them harass E until they admit to guilt for a crime they didn’t commit just to make it stop.

If that is a story you want to read, the summary would make that quite clear up front, or at least the first two chapters before you get invested. If I’m sold a murder mystery, by god, I’m going to expect a murder mystery.

Something I see a lot in inexperienced authors (or those who think “writing is easy, if it’s hard for you, you just suck”) is making characters too realistic. If you want to write a full-blown transcript of a conversation, false-starts and stutters and nonsensical grammar and half-finished points, be my guest, but fiction is supposed to be a little cleaned up. Details in fictional stories should be written with intent.

Not every single one. Sometimes a character’s eyes are green because I have too many with brown. It’s not that deep.

But bigger things, like a character’s personality and motives, should all serve the greater narrative. What does their insecurity say about them? How does it impact the choices they make and how they see the world? Is this something they grow out of or a trait that dooms them as a self-fulfilling prophecy?

The lesson doesn’t always have to be “you’re beautiful just the way you are”. It can be a nightmarish regression. Whatever it is, just tell a story with it, otherwise, why is it here?

[nikibogwater]

Niki Blethers: Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio LET’S FREAKIN’ GOOOOOOOOO--

In case it was not already obvious, this was my most anticipated movie of the year. Heck, it was my only anticipated movie of the year. Having learned the hard way just how deeply disappointment stings, I don’t usually get my hopes up this high. But darn it, everything I heard about this movie prior to its release just filled me with too much excitement to ignore, and now that it is finally available to the wider public, it is my great pleasure to say--

HOLY MOTHER OF MARMALADE, DID THIS MOVIE LIVE UP TO MY HYPE AND THEN SOME

(Mild spoilers below the cut, GO WATCH THIS MOVIE IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT IT’S A MASTERPIECE)

First up: stop motion animation. We love to see it. And this movie doesn’t cut any corners with the stop motion. Even the fire is stop motion. The backgrounds are paintings (gorgeous ones at that), not just CG landscapes. The sets are so incredibly detailed I could’ve spent several minutes just staring at any given wide shot. There were very few instances where I could clearly see any effects that were obviously done in a computer. The animators and set builders went hard on this movie, and they have 1000% of my respect for it. 

Despite being a whimsical fairy tale, there is a pretty heavy sense of realism with this movie. Like, one scene, you have an overeager Pinocchio singing a cute little song about how excited he is to be alive, and then in the next one, he and Geppetto are walking past buildings plastered with posters promoting Mussolini’s Fascist regime. The way the film balances these two tonal opposites is absolutely genius, and I can’t remember a single instance of a jarring shift in tone. The light and whimsical always eases into the dark and realistic in a way that makes me feel like the two sides couldn’t exist without each other. 

Also speaking of realism, CAN I GET A HALLELUJIA FOR SOME HONEST-TO-GOODNESS CATHOLIC REP IN A CURRENT-YEAR CHILDREN’S MOVIE?!

This is obviously a personal thing for me, but I pretty much never see any accurate, respectful portrayals of my religion outside of films that are specifically made for Catholics. And I’ma be real with you, more often than not, the films made specifically for us turn out to be unbearably preachy or saccharine (and they’re never animated--another major point against them). To see a character who simply IS a Catholic (because this is Italy during the 1910s, so it’d be a little out-of-the-ordinary for him not to be), doing his little Catholic things, without it being a huge focus of the story or directly influencing the plot--ie, Catholicism being portrayed as just another normal part of every-day life--GAH. IT WAS JUST REALLY SPECIAL TO ME, OKAY? 

Also Geppetto locking Pinocchio in a closet because he doesn’t have time to deal with this, it’s time to go to Mass is a big fat Catholic mood. 

Okay, I’ll shut up about the Catholic stuff. Back to the movie.

If I had a nickel for every time David Bradly made me cry with his performance as a struggling father-figure overcoming the estrangement between him and his adopted son, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t very many, but it’s great that it happened twice. 

Ewan McGregor practically carries this movie as Sebastian J. Cricket. I knew he was going to be good, but somehow I failed to foresee just how good he truly is in the role. This interpretation of Jiminy Cricket as a mildly self-absorbed novelist who sees Pinocchio as little more than his house for most of the film is just *chef’s kiss.*

Ron Perlman as the Podestà was incredible. I actually didn’t realize it was him until three-fourths of the way through the movie, he just vanishes into the role so smoothly. And gotdang, is that character scary. 

Christoph Waltz clearly went all out with Count Volpe and I bet recording sessions with him were very fun. 

Gregory Mann did so great for such a little guy! It’s hard to find child actors, and even harder to find child voice actors, but he was fantastic, and really sold the character. 

Speaking of characters, OH MY GOSH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH WHERE DO I BEGIN

Geppetto is a very sentimental old guy whose only joy in life was his son Carlo. After Carlo is killed in a bombing raid, Geppetto completely collapses under the weight of his grief. Carving Pinocchio isn’t something he does out of creativity or joy, but rather the result of drunken and despairing rage. The scene is played out as a grotesque and heartbreaking moment, and I LOVE it. 

Pinocchio himself is a Very Real Boy from the start--by which I mean, he never shuts up, he gets into everything, he’s kind of a brat, and he brings unbridled chaos to Geppetto’s life in the way that only a young child can. I like it when movies portray children as, y’know, actual children, not just tiny adults. Yeah, kids are loud, they break stuff, they annoy the heck out of you, and they are also so, so precious, they’re worth every second of it. 

I’ve already talked about Sebastian J. Cricket so all I’m gonna say here is I felt the line “Oh, the pain! Life is such hideous pain” right down to my core.

This movie covers a lot of heavy themes, such as the difficulties of fatherhood, abuse, war, death, and grief. But it does so in a way that left me with a sense of hope. It doesn’t shy away from the reality of these things, but it assures you that you can endure them, that you can find immense joy even in the midst of great suffering. 

To get a little personal for the second time, the way this movie goes about presenting the reality of death and the grief of those left behind resonated with me very deeply. I’m the youngest child in my immediate family, and deep down, there’s a part of me that dreads the day when they will pass on and leave me behind. Barring any unforeseen accidents, I will likely outlive most of my siblings, and I’m lowkey terrified of that inevitablilty. So there was something oddly comforting about a film that speaks directly to my fear like that. A film that doesn’t sugar coat or try to persuade me that it won’t be so bad. A film that tells me my time with my family is so much more precious because it is so fleeting. 

So yeah, tears were shed, I’m not ashamed to admit it. 

I could probably say a bajillion things more about this movie, but it’s getting late now and I’ve prattled long enough. In conclusion, 10/10, easily the best movie of my year, and I truly think I can forgive Del Toro for Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans now. 

[shackld]

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍

NAME : Makenzie / Mak / Kai / Makai

PRONOUNS : She/her/they/them but I really don't mind any!

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : Oh discord always one hundred percent, I always forget and am very bad about tumblr dms lmao

MOST ACTIVE MUSE : Absolutely Chief right now and in the foreseeable future!! I do have other blogs I hop around on depending on how I'm feeling but I always have Chief's blog open, I care her so much especially considering I started musing her like a day after PTN came out-

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS : Tumblr rp wise, I've started around the latter half of 2016? I think it was October? But as of actual writing and roleplaying, I've done so for a little earlier like on fb / chatzy / deviantart and wow..... wild looking back on it :))) (save me from these memories)

BEST EXPERIENCE : I'm gonna be so cheesy and saying picking up Chief in the first place. It's absolutely insane how fast and how hard she found her way into my heart, I just adore this character so fucking much that starting writing her has to be up there for my best experience I'M SORRY IT FEELS LIKE A COP OUT BUT ITS TRUE. Top three favorite muses for sure.

RP PET PEEVE : See, this so hard for me to answer because examples leave my head so quickly aaaa maybe like. This has nothing to do with actual like plotting or characters or writing but when people. can't like. talk it out or complain about everything all the time? So many issues can be resolved between people just by talking or if you can't come to an agreement, just be civil and leave on respected terms. I dunno thats just one its probably not the biggest but its what my mind gave me!

PLOTS OR MEMES : I will try both always I always adore doing both but I definitely do lean towards memes. Memes give free reign and they can be so silly or so angsty or anything! Also I feel like I'm a bad plotter and I don't wanna let anyone dow-*shot*

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : I do fancy the occasional short reply but that really only goes for crack purposes or just being silly! Whether I like it or not, I always end up writing a shit ton because there's just. There's so much to say!!! I have to get these thoughts and my muse's thoughts out of my head and you will deal with them!

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES : I definitely don't have Chief's uhhhh chutzpah. But I feel like we both can be pretty damn stubborn lmao and I try and do the 'right thing' but that might not always work out, we're both pretty stupid but I like to think I always try like her!!! Also. Silly little guys :)

Tagged by: @serpentsexile why u wanna learn things about me huh so u can learn my weakness and destroy me???? i see you <3

Tagging: @bitterseadrop @heincus @ahogedetective @lausticzt @ichigokurosaki @imarahuyo @shiningstages

[outofcontexttokusatsu]

I'll make this its own post to keep the dash at least readable but it just reminds me highly of Saber in every single worst possible way.

The first episode legitimately gave me a headache with how there was always a thousand things on screen at once and everything was constantly moving around. It's like there was simultaneously too many things happening and yet nothing happening. Other than a clunky minute long infodump we get very poorly introduced to the cast with almost nothing to really clue you in on what each character is like beyond assumptions based on their aesthetics. The only character who has any real screentime is Gira (Red) and I won't say he's bad but he just has no real direction beyond "hyper screaming".

I know this screenshot might seem like cherrypicking but it was legit the only frame I could find where it was still, but just look at this! Why is this so unnecessarily elaborate and detailed? Why is everything so brightly lit yet the characters are barely lit? Why the hell is the camera pointed at the fucking ceiling in the corner when the focal point SHOULD be the characters who are squashed down to the bottom and barely viewable because everyone's lit in fucking orange and they all blend in! It'd be one thing for the camera angle but the characters are so far away and out of the center of the screen you can barely tell where they are!

And almost every scene is like this! I could barely tell what was happening half the time. Every single set is a horribly over designed and distracting CG nightmare landscape beyond a small few scenes (which actually looked really good) and there's a great big deal of absolutely nothing significant going on beyond Red's argument with the king guy there, and that was a painfully generic "I'm an asshole because I'm the king and I can be an asshole" kind of speech. It's really been a while since a Sentai had such an generally unpleasant opener and I just cannot understand where people are saying it was good come from, unless their brains are so fried that the overload of stimulation just immediately triggers a "good" response regardless. (Disclaimer: this is not a directed attack at anyone please do not get angry at me)

Like look I'll still probably keep going until I either have a aneurysm or I get too fed up to keep at it but this was a generally unpleasant watching experience and I do not foresee it improving in any way. I dunno where this cope of "YEAH BUT DONBROS" or people saying the first episodes are always bad because like I can't think of the last time a Sentai had a bad first episode but ended up turning around except like, MAYBE ToQger? It barely establishes the characters, the plot is just kind of haphazardly thrown around, the entire show is just very poorly shot on a base filmmaking level, the overuse of CG with no real coherent or consistent style is nauseating and it just REEKS of Omori pushing his bizarre ideas onto the show already and I don't feel like sticking around for the 4th time dealing with him.

Even the changes were boring! How do you do that? How do you make a boring change sequence!!!

[eighthdoctor]

If Sylvanas primarily sees her position as Warchief as a means of accomplishing her goals, would she want to continue being Warchief if she actually managed to reach those goals (ie the Forsaken are no longer at risk of being wiped out and don’t get sent to superhell anymore)?

The honest answer is so straight forward that I'm going to spin it sideways a little, because the answer is "she absolutely would not but I can't talk more about it because spoilers". Which seems a little unfair to give you as an answer when you are spot on and I like people being right, and anyway there's still a problem here.

Ie, what the fuck is the Jailer's deal.

putting a cut in bc we're gonna talk about a suicide attempt

Some context to catch people up: About 15 years before Teldrassil, to condense a whole lot of plotting into one sentence, joint Alliance and Horde forces kill Arthas and replace him as Lich King with another person who hopefully will not quite so quickly become evil. Sylvanas is not part of this. Sylvanas is not consulted on this. Sylvanas is halfway around the world kicking demons out of the Undercity.

When she does find out that the person who killed her, raised her, used her as a puppet to defeat her homeland, and has generally been the worst thing in a life/unlife that's already pretty full of bad things was not only killed without her but REPLACED by someone who she's just supposed to TRUST isn't gonna try to do the same damn thing again--

She jumps off a cliff onto a field of saronite spikes and kills herself. Because why bother, why keep going, the revenge she held herself together for has been taken from her, so let's just. Finish it.

UNFORTUNATELY it turns out that after Sylvanas dies she's going to superhell for being gay for uh, reasons. Which reasons depends on what source you're looking at, but it's typically a combination of a) Sylvanas does bad things or WILL do bad things in future and so therefore is ALWAYS doomed to superhell and b) all Forsaken go to superhell bc they're fundamentally abominations.

Since this is Calvinism in a fantasy trenchcoat, Sylvanas hauls herself back together and makes a deal with 9 angels Val'kyr (Warcraft has never met a mythology it didn't want to plunder). The deal is to the effect of they'll resurrect Sylvanas* and in return she'll free them from working for the Jailer, who it turns out is the guy who runs superhell.

* Sylvanas is very complicated to resurrect. Every time she dies it's a sacrifice of 3 Val'kyr to bring her back. As of fic-start she has 3 left, which makes her a little nutty.

All of which is to provide context for one of Sylvanas's main motivators: Not going back to hell. Ideally also not letting the rest of the Forsaken wind up in hell for things they didn't do. It's important to preserve the Forsaken on Azeroth, because every one that dies goes to superhell (the Maw), but it's ALSO important to destabilize the Jailer and dismantle the whole system.

Which is all kinds of interestingly fucked up, so Blizzard just completely dropped the ball in the Shadowlands expansion and therefore I'm ignoring almost all of it.

Who is the Jailer? I recommend not opening the wiki page because it actively rots my brain cells; Blizzard has a thing about Categorizing that over the last 25 years has inevitably meant there's about forty different pantheons of various eldritch abominations and/or gods running around, except for when there's only six. Anyway. The Jailer is a very powerful eldritch thing that's been delegated to run the Maw as punishment for trying instead to take over the entire afterlife. Perhaps foreseeably, putting the guy who wanted to run the afterlife in charge of the portion of it filled exclusively with supervillains led IMMEDIATELY to a lot of plotting on how to take over successfully this time (this bit is, remarkably, canon).

In Shadowlands this then turns into a massive scheme that rewrites the actual plot of about four expansions and also is insane and also extremely bad.

So let's just leave it at that: The Jailer wants to run the afterlife (understandable) and is trying to get there by recruiting (or conscripting) various Maw-denizens to help. One of them is Sylvanas, who--because she's undead in the first place, because the demon experimentation that turned into the Helm was way more successful than the Legion realized, because she's only halfway supposed to be there at all, because she's that desperate--gets out. Who talks the Val'kyr into breaking their own chains and Raising her back to life.

Sylvanas scrambles back into Azeroth knowing that the afterlife is fucked beyond all reason, and that most Forsaken don't remember any of that at all, and that there are multiple gods (or entities on that power scale) behind this, and that the Forsaken are unspeakably doomed--and, from the events leading up to her suicide, nobody cares and nobody will help.

So with all of that in mind: What do you think it will take to fix the Forsaken's situation?

[seraphiism]

kay, is there anything that you really really recommend? cause i finished all my favs rn (including jjk n one piece(manga+anime)).

wym you finished one piece .. manga and anime... you are stronger than the mitochondria , the powerhouse of the cell , i am not sure if you mean anime/manga exclusively but tbh i don't consume much of it so i will just assume all media is fair game ⸜( ´ ꒳ ` )⸝

i love love love omniscient reader's viewpoint !! both the novel and manhwa. have you ever been thrown into the depths of your favorite story, the one thing that allowed you to endure and survive the traumas of your life, then forced to survive in said story's circumstances you can foresee, except that now, you're not sure where reality begins and fiction ends? i have yet to finish the novel but it has definitely made me cry a few times. the characters are so so good and the plot is just so intricate, as are the relationships and i want to squeeze kim dokja like a stress ball. ALSO he's so fucking smart that i had to take breaks often bc my lil brain was going insane

i also recommend the house in fata morgana! like if there is one piece of media to share w/ everyone, i would slam this game in everyone's face and not even god could stop me . it's a visual novel that is available on steam ; i believe it took me 30+ hours to finish. tldr; you wake up in a mansion that you are supposedly the master of, and your maid, who has always been at your side, awaiting your return, walks you through the tales of the mansion. it goes through different time periods in each chapter, and you witness the many tragedies that have occurred to those deserving and undeserving. the plot is very concise and runs pretty deep. do note that there are possible triggers as the themes can be very heavy

path to nowhere !!! it's a mobile gacha game with a well-written plot and amazing characters ( there are so many beautiful women and also there are like 5 guys ). please ignore the ads, they're insanely ridiculous just to attract attention and nothing at all like the actual content. in this world, there are sinners who have been condemned; these sinners have powers and are deemed a threat to society. fortunately for you, you have a unique ability to "shackle" them-- this binds you to them, both mentally and physically ( as in when you're in extreme pain, they can sometimes experience tht same pain iirc, or smth like that ) in a sense-- sinners are only freed when you die, so many of them initially resent you, some want and try to kill you, but most eventually learn to trust you and understand that you are very selfless and don't wish to bring them harm. there are a lot of conflicts in this game, and i believe it has .. 12 or so chapters out rn? the music is amazing ( it's on spotify and goes surprisingly hard for a gacha game ), the character design is great, the gameplay is fun. it's very f2p friendly. the plot is also very sad :^) and i also cried a lot bc of it. stan hamel .

uuuuhhhhh if you want to read another manhwa, pls check out who made me a princess, it's an isekai and the dad is hot and coldhearted , absolute favorite type of man , seemingly cold but has a kind heart 10/10 i would kiss claude

thts all i can think of atm !! i have many reccs but if there were things i really really like, those are some of them.

[friendly-local-trash]

Hey guys what's up I'm the leader of Team Skull: Johto branch, and we're accepting members. Have you ever wanted the economic security and sense of belonging of being in a gang, but didnt want to join the mob? Are you absolutely sick of blasting off again and ready to settle in some place where the vibes are less take over the world and more pillow fort? Have you ever wanted to live somewhere with a bunk sofa? Team Skull is right for you! Join today! We meet in the park where I totally don't live.

~~~

My name is Sol and I'm a poison type specialist. I used to be a trainer; I have all my certifications, blah blah blah. I work for a non-profit cleaning up routes and distributing those free items your twelve year old picks up while catching Zigzagoons. It's a very wholesome job. I also do poison "pest" control on the side to make ends meet; moving Beedrill nests away from kiddie parks and relocating Trubbish to the local dump and wrangling Ekans, all that shit.

My only Pokemon currently is Queef (he goes by Fart because my brother refuses to call him Queef but his name is Queef damnit he makes the exact sound), a classic Grimer I rescued from a clean up job. Mostly I just rehabilitate or foster, but Queef is here full-time.

If you're also a poison type lover, definitely hit me up, I love the little buggers.

UPDATE: Currently living in a park 👍 I now also have a feral Nidoran M who will be released once he stops injuring himself, and an Absol who I don't think I technically own but lives here also. Their names are Lil Bitch and Soteria respectively.

Caard

OOC STUFF BEHIND CUT

HEY EVERYONE, I'm irl Sol, actual Sol behind the fictional Pokemon Sol. I follow back from @solitarelee which most of you probably figured out immediately given my name LMAO. So my activity page looks like this!

Which I'm super pumped about actually. I didn't foresee any of this happening when I started the blog but I'm having a blast.

If anyone wants to OOC plot stuff to happen in "real pokeverse life" with me, my ask box and DMs are open (at least I think my DMs are open. if they're not right this second they're about to be). If you want something to be OOC discussion via ask box just let me know and be sure to send it off anon so I can answer privately. If we wind up doing a bunch of stuff together we could also trade Discords if necessary!

I'm gonna try to create like a list of all the members so I can keep them straight, but it might take me a second because I'm pretty busy irl. I'll also be trying to create a tagging system so people can tumblr savior or block certain RP threads if they feel like they're getting spammed to hell.

I created this blog as like a fun night time distraction on nights when I have to stay up, so it probably will never be super active during the day, at least not for while this semester is still going. If I don't reply right away it's definitely because I physically haven't seen it yet!

Thanks for all of your interest and for having fun playing in this sandbox with me!! I am living out my childhood pokemon rp dreams right now.

[note-boom]

@ticklinglady : thank you very much for replying to my ask, it was more than satisfying! 🥰 I must admit, that I might not have been as attentive as I should have, when reading your tags, and that resulted in me sending this message to you 😅 But in any case, it was very interesting to hear your thoughts! I understand how you would go crazy over Tachihara forgiving the guy for the sake of the Black Lizards, it's just a LOT to take in affhghghg. Personally, I just want Mori to have some real consequences for his actions in the manga soon and it doesn't matter how it goes. So far the only truly important consequences that he ever had to deal with had happened prior to the main story and I think that's a bit boring. It's kind of like the situation with Dazai where everyone starts having a blast, when he can't foresee something. Personally, even if Tachihara is going to stay in the mafia, I want it to be primarily for the Black Lizards and for him to become more wary of Mori and his methods overall, but your idea is also good~ I think it depends more on the matter of storytelling bias 🤭

Absolutely! Thank you so much for your ask (I love a good excuse to ramble about things I have not thought about a lot. This fandom keeps the brain sharp. For BSD, at least XD), and sorry it took so long to reply

And not to worry! Tags are always just additional thoughts that aren't usually relevant. Just apologies and clarification, mostly.

Also, I absolutely think Mori should get consequences. If Fukuzawa actually does dies, so should Mori. For the balance....(and if our Fukuzawa doesn't die, then Mori should anyway. For the plot :))) It would also be really funny if Hirotsu, Gin, and Tachihara all decided to collectively go work for the government (not really, I wouldn't want that for them...but it just makes me laugh when I think of Fukuchi in prison telling Aku that he got his sister)

But yeah, again. Thank you for the ask! It's always lovely to hear from you guys! :DDD

[phantomrose96]

What animes that are still fun/good do you recommend?

Anything but FMA, because that's a given :D

Cool so I can actually answer this!

Ordinarily I actually watch very little anime (or tv in general). I’m more the type to find a handful of shows I really like, and focus on those. So usually I’m terrible at these “can you throw out some recommendations?” type asks

BUT. last year around May or so a bunch of my anime-watching IRL friends were like “welp, doing things is canceled for the foreseeable future. wanna stream anime together over Discord?” so now we’re like 10 months deep into that, so I’ve got recs!

1) Dororo (2019) Premise: A lord makes a deal with demons for the prosperity of his land. The cost is his unborn son, who is born without limbs, eyes, ears, a nose, or skin.  The lord disposes of his son, who miraculously survives and goes on an Edward Elric warpath for his limbs back.

Okay so this isn’t a “fun” one but it’s damn good. It felt for all the characters and the plot progression was continually rewarding. I also just... loved how Hyakkimaru interacted with the world. He spent most of his life without senses or real human interaction, so his behavior is just so... asocially chaotic. but he does care. Just a fascinating character to watch.

2) Dorohedoro  (not to be confused with the very similar-sounding ‘Dororo’ I know) Premise: You know what, I dunno! Post-apocalyptic-vibes, magic, a lizard guy, chaotic cooking, mushrooms, and buff women.

This one IS fun, in a really wacky way. The plot really runs all over the place, but it’s never a dull moment. Every character is unhinged and the only question for each of them is how unhinged. The humor clicked really well with me. Absurdist as hell. And I adored the characters. Noi is love Noi is life.

3) Hinamatsuri Premise: The worst man you know adopts the worst child you know. Hilarity ensues

Hilarious! And tbh I don’t usually go for comedy. This one was just excellent slap-stick from start-to-finish. 

4) The Great Pretender Premise: A Japanese conman is recruited into a league of international conmen who pull off the most ridiculous, wacky, high-stakes heists they can cook up.

This one is neat! I’m not super into the genre, but the execution was excellent and the art is absolutely superb. 

[msfcatlover]

Can you give the bullet points for that Hollow Knight Ludonarrative dissonance essay so us who played the game can fill in the gaps?

Sure thing!

First and foremost, I know many people are familiar with the term “ludonarrative dissonance,” which is when the mechanics of a game run counter to the themes and sometimes the plot of the story being told. On the opposite end of the spectrum, and far more rarely talked about, is “ludonarrative harmony,” which is when the mechanics of a game support the story being told or even tell a supportive story of their own!

I am very firm in my belief that in a quarter of a century playing video games, Hollow Knight has the best ludonarrative harmony of any game I’ve played.

Here’s my primary example: the condemnation of the Pale King’s actions, and how it ties into the original possible endings of the game.

The Pale King’s failure is the great final tragedy of Hallownest. He saw the end coming, knew he could not defeat the Radiance again, and did not want his people to suffer. He determined he needed a being of pure Void to contain the Radiance, but believed that any emotion would lead to a flawed prison. So, he created the Vessels by the hundreds, letting them struggle to the top of the Abyss, and cast each one of them back down into the depths for the “flaw” of being children with actual emotions. We don’t know how he determined this, but when he finally found one that seemed properly emotionless, “truly hollow,” he took that child and sealed the gate behind them, locking the player character (henceforth referred to as “Ghost” in this first draft ramble-essay,) and who-knows-how-many-other Vessels to fend for themselves in the depths.

You already know this. And you already know that child was not given a name (though I will be referring to them by the fandom nickname “Hollow” from here on out,) was purposefully neglected, taught only training and their purpose for existing in the hopes it would keep emotions  and desires from taking root. But Hollow did have desires; specifically, Hollow just wanted their dad to be proud of them. When Hollow sacrificed their mind to hold the Radiance and was imprisoned in the Black Egg, after the Dreamers gave their own minds to keep it sealed, the prison was faulty. An unspecified amount of time later, the Radiance’s influence was able to leak out in the form of the Infection, and the kingdom of Hallownest was destroyed.

(The Pale King often gets pilloried by the fandom for “letting” that happen by showing any level of caring for the child. This is the wrong conclusion.)

The game begins with us playing Ghost, having at some point escaped from the Abyss and (seemingly) having lost their memories in the wilds outside the kingdom. It is as Ghost that we track down the Dreamers and slay them, opening the Egg to face Hollow and put an end to the plague, though how exactly that happens and what the outcome is depends on your choices throughout the game.

As a fellow Vessel, you can take Hollow’s place. When Hollow is slain, Ghost absorbs the Radiance and the Egg reseals itself.

Using the power of the Dreamnail, you can enter Hollow’s mind and fight the Radiance directly, driving her back into hiding for the foreseeable future.

If you have the Voidheart charm equipped and choose to fight the Radiance, you become a “higher being” yourself and are able to slay her for good. The kingdom is free of the plague, and Hollow even survives and has another chance at life. (This one is, by the way, known as the “True Ending.”)

And here we finally reach my argument, and I can stop regurgitating old information. Because these endings and what you need to achieve them is what finally solidifies just how wrong the Pale King was. Wronger than he ever knew.

He must have thought the Vessels less than people, or he would not have been willing to kill so many. But he would not have rejected so many of them if the Vessels weren’t inherently feeling, thinking creatures like any other bug in the kingdom — none of them were “truly hollow.” Children, left to die in the dark by the hundreds. The greatest sin he ever committed.

We know he did, on some level, care about Hollow, but still chose to neglect them in hopes of stunting their emotional growth. That he believed the sacrifice of one Vessel and three of his most respected advisors (give or take Herrah, who’s whole deal with him is kinda... weird,) to eternal imprisonments was better than letting the whole kingdom fall to the Radiance’s vengeance. That the ends justify the means. It’s his last thought, still echoing in his corpse when we find him on his throne: “...No cost too great...”

But the ends don’t justify the means, and I don’t just mean because the plan failed. I mean because it was inherently flawed in its initial premise, the very assumption he built it on: that “being hollow” was the solution to the problem.

A truly hollow Vessel would not care one whit about the mission or anything else. If Ghost were hollow, there would not be a game; they would wander aimlessly, not speaking or interacting with anyone, until they finally died.

If you play Ghost as being hollow, or as close to it as you can, you’ll be ignoring all NPCs. You’ll not be buying any upgrades or equipment. You’ll not be wandering far from the central path. Why would you? A hollow Vessel should care only for their mission, find the shortest route to enter the Black Egg, slay Hollow, and be done with it. Not only does this make life much harder for you, it nets you the worst ending. The Pale King’s trap just resets, now with the Dreamers dead so none can ever try to fix the problem again, and it will fail eventually, because Ghost isn’t hollow. The very fact there is a plot to follow, a goal to achieve, means that Ghost has goals they are willing to suffer hardships to reach. Frustration, determination, and pride in success have to be assumed, complimented by the fact those are all the emotions the player will feel on this particular run.

If you want to face the Radiance, you have to upgrade the Dreamnail, and you’re not told that will be the end result when you first receive it. You have to be ambitious and stubborn, at the very least, to pursue that goal blind, or you have to really want to know what the Sage will give you as a reward. You have to experiment, going back to bosses you’ve already beaten to fight their dream versions and put them to rest, track down the hidden dream roots and clamber all over the map to solve their puzzles. For the second ending, Ghost has to have goals outside of their main mission, has to think through the concept of deaths enough to make the connection between the ghosts and the bosses, and repeatedly return to speak to the Sage for the upgrades. They have to be curious enough to even use the Dreamnail in the first place, and like it enough to want to improve it.

And how do you get the best ending? The true ending? Slay the Radiance, defeat it for good, save the kingdom of Hallownest?

You explore. You wander off the main path, root out secrets and shortcuts and answers. You need to talk to multiple NPCs, and not just speed through their dialogue to get your reward but actually think about it and remember who’s connected to whom. You meet the White Lady in the Queen’s Garden and travel down into the Abyss, both areas you never need to go to and which no one will even tell you about before you’ve been there. You throw yourself against the Path of Pain again, and again, and again, and again, with no promise of reward, just to see what’s on the other side.

To truly defeat the Radiance, you have to play Ghost as being curious, distractible, attentive, and caring. They cannot be isolated and they cannot be ignorant. And if you care enough to end up with the Voidheart, you probably talked to everyone, helped them complete their quests, tried different charm combinations and ran around the map just to see how people reacted. You probably wanted to know the secrets of Hallownest, and refused to let insurmountable odds turn you away.

In the true ending, Ghost actually has a pretty strong personality, told purely through mechanics.

Story and gameplay.

The Pale King was wrong. We’re told that, asked to look upon his actions and despair that anyone could be driven to such lengths... made worse by the fact his theory was flawed in its very foundations. Being hollow was never the answer; a hollow Vessel was always going to fail. The cost was too great, and all the awful things he did to try and stop the Radiance... it was all for nothing.

Harmony.

It’s just... it’s heartbreaking, and absolutely beautiful.

And every time I see people say Ghost can defeat the Radiance because “they’re the one who’s really hollow,” I want to rip my hair out, like how the fuck can people just IGNORE the SMOOTHEST INTEGRATION OF STORYTELLING AND GAMEPLAY I’ve ever seen in my LIFE, one of the HARDEST PARTS OF GAME DEVELOPMENT that someone probably spent months getting down to such a truly astounding finish, and somehow reach the conclusion the guy whose fuckups lead to the deaths of hundreds of children, intentional child abuse, and the downfall of his kingdom was RIGHT?!

[dangermousie]

Hua Hua You Long - aka I read something truly awful so you don’t have to

First, a disclaimer: I highly knew it was not likely to be my thing. I wanted a trainwreck and got one. So I have nobody to blame but myself. Also, there is a certain pleasure in hate reading a novel that makes no bones it’s about toxic relationship and truly terrible sex and is not aspiring anything but a certain kind of marital aid for people into a specific kink/emotional satisfaction for people who like unhealthy relationships. I read halfway through (and the epilogue) before I bailed, further and quicker than I got into many a much better novel.

Look at this lovely cover. Does anything about it scream “I am gonna dislocate your jaw so you can’t bite me when I stick my **** in your mouth?” How about “I, ML, like forcing my uncle into sex while I forget about the MC for a while?” Still no? Then how about “do needles in your dick sound like your idea of a good time?”

Gosh, I have no idea why not. Next you are going to tell me it’s not romantic to make your partner bleed every time like a stuck pig since there is no lube in sight, bang him with his hand is fractured by you, or stick him in jail while promising lingchi and have him try to off himself.

You guys are so picky.

Anyway, moving on....

The plot of this masterpiece seems perfectly nice on NU:

In order to help their chief find a wife, the bandits kidnapped a woman from the bottom of the mountain in order to offer her up to him.

The chief of the mountain stronghold, Lu Cang falls in love at first sight with the absolutely stunning beauty!

However, on the night of the consummation…

In fact, the reason I checked this novel was because it sounded like a fun premise and sure the NU reviews made me go ???!!!! but I often don’t agree with them so I thought how bad could it be. I expected a little bit of a trainwreck but what I got was a 62 car pile up.

I am sorry, NU reviewers, so sorry. You were right.

Our unfortunate bandit, Lu Cang, finds out the beautiful woman his crew kidnapped is actually a beautiful man, called Jing. Jing rapes him a bunch as one does (in a stunningly unsexy sex scene. Literally every sex scene in this novel - and there are a LOT as pretty much every chapter has one - are not in the least appealing even to anyone with a noncon kink. Trust me.) Then they keep meeting a bunch with more raping and then it turns out Jing is...wait for it..the Emperor of Rapelandia. So he takes unfortunate Lu Cang into his palace for more some really off-putting raping, at one point decides he wants to rape his hot uncle instead, gets mad when he thinks Lu Cang helped hot uncle to kill himself and almost tortures Lu Cang to death, then when Lu Cang escapes, he finds him again and there is some more raping but this time he might also like him a little bit. At that point I bailed but going by the epilogue, they at some point become a couple who still have truly unappetizing sex.

In the middle of it all, Lu Cang, who appears to be dead from the neck up, falls in love with Jing who possesses not a single appealing quality aside from his looks - he’s cruel, a boring conversationalist, seems to have no hobbies or interests other rape, incest and fisting, is terrible in bed, never thinks he’s wrong, and is a devoted fan of Marquis de Sade, Chinese style. I am honestly not sure WHY Lu Cang develops any degree of devotion unless he’s into serious internal injuries- honestly almost none of the sex in the first half of the novel is written as anything but terribly unpleasant and literally injurious to him, and that is before Jing kicks him hard enough to give him problems with little Lu Cang, sticks multiple needles into his dick (not the first time, but last time it was only one, congrats on your restraint) and Lu Cang still goes “that’s my man!” No accounting for tastes, I suppose.

I have to give the author points for creating probably the most realistic royal ML in any web novel I’ve ever read, danmei or het. Jing is cruel and capricious and genuinely believes anything he wants is supreme over anyone and anything; he doesn’t ever feel like apologizing over anything, never considers others as people let alone their needs or desires (you want groveling over bad behavior? Not in this novel!) and is certainly not giving up his harem (at the end he proclaims to the unfortunate Lu Cang that out of consideration to him, he Jing will not sleep with a woman more than once but he of course needs an heir so sleep with women he will.If Lu Cang as much as looks at someone, off with everyone’s heads, of course.) Sounds about right.

Anyway, this is truly terrible and can be used as a chastity aid because after reading this novel, I want to weld my legs shut for the foreseeable future. Yikes yikes yikes!

ETA: I get that some people find this sort of set up fits their fetish. I am not judging and don’t really care. People’s kinks aren’t mine. But why on earth the author wanted to stick a supposed love story in a middle of an extreme BDSM session (with MC who actually does NOT get off on pain, at least the story would have made sense if he did!) I will never know. 

[randomingoftherandomness]

What I am hoping for from Winner is King ( 烽火流金)

Okay, so at this point, let’s just be reals here, Word of Honor has kinda set the bar for me in terms of standards to expect from the slew of danmei adaptations this year. Granted, I know that there are some who think the way it was adapted was not up to their standards and that it could have been done better, please don’t bring it on this post because this is not the post for it.

In this post, I’m going to talk about  Winner is King (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑

Now, Sha Po Lang, the original novel, is for me one of the best things that I have read in a very long while. As such, I can be rather precious about what I am hoping to see come alive on the show and what I am hoping will be present in the portrayals I see. I know there are some concerns regarding the script and behind the scenes stuff - and they are very valid concerns that I feel too! - and with the recent announcement that instead of 45 episodes, we are only getting 40, I can foresee that there could be some rushed handlings of the very plotty nature of the source material and perhaps a sense that style can trump substance.

But as the actual show isn’t beaming right into our eyeballs just yet, here are some things I am looking forward to seeing in Winner is King and some things that I am crossing my fingers will make the final cut! 

Warning for some novel spoilers ahead. I’ll keep it under the read more.

Tagging @zhongwans because I said I would haha...

Things I am looking forward to:

The Changgu dynamic. I think it goes without saying that if the chemistry between your leads is a dud, the show doesn’t need to even pass Go, it can just shuffle itself off the board because it will be dead in the water. The Changgu dynamic has to be nailed; I need to see that self-doubt, that caring for the other but coming at it from the wrong way, that awkwardness that comes with trying to hold back the burden of your love and care because you don’t want to overwhelm the other... 

I need Gu Yun to be shamelessly sweet with his words and his coaxing of his Yan Wang from a sulk. I need Changgu saying “I hate you to death, Gu Yun” (pining)

Hu Ge Er. Let me just be clear here, I will cheer when she dies, but I hope that how they handle her characterisation will do her justice. There is no excusing the level of horrible that she is, but I hope that she isn’t written as a single dimension abusive piece of shit. Nuance, is what I am looking for. I need her to be the villain and the reason for Chang Geng.

I. NEED. THE. WOLF. ATTACK. SCENE. OUTSIDE. OF. YANHUI. TOWN. aka The First Time They Meet

There is legit no excuse for them to fuck this up, but the Steampunk elements. I would not know what else to say if they fuck this one thing up that is so integral and basic to the love of this IP. They cannot fuck this up. I am very sure I will join people in rioting if they do.

I need to see my Red Kites, my Heavy and Light Armours, my Dragons... I need to see the steam powered lamps, the iron puppets... I need them to get the Wind Slashers right. I need them to get this world-building right ok? I need to be dropped into this show and just swoon over just how accurate to imagination everything looks. Tencent does have the blessed ability to make very good looking productions, so on this note, I am assured. 

I need them to get the human element right; I need to understand why Gu Yun is the way he is, I need to know why the members of the Lin Yuan Pavillion will back Chang Geng and why they won’t. I need to know why Liao Chi would betray the Emperor. I need them to make me feel; I want them to make my heart hurt when Chang Geng’s heart is hurting, I want them to make me cry when Gu Yun is at his lowest and feels like he can’t go on. I want them to make me laugh, I want to feel for Shen Yi and Miss Chen’s awkward courting. 

On that note, I hope they get the Shen Yi and Gu Yun dynamic right too! These two are bros ok? Life and death, ride or die, best bros forever and I need, need them to nail just how integral these are to each other and how much they chose each other as family. I need the bickering, I need the protectiveness, I need the banter. 

I also need Chang Geng conspiring to marry Shen Yi off quickly so that he can have Gu Yun all to himself lol but lbr here if we can get an ending for this show from Tencent that even breathes the same atmosphere of air as satisfactory I will praise the heavens

The Bone of Impurity. I don’t know to what extent they will cover this or if they would do it the way the book does it, but this being an element that is integral to Chang Geng, I would be surprised if they dropped it entirely. So yeah, I am looking forward to seeing Chang Geng fretting and worrying and getting Bone of Impurity attacks.

Just the way that Gu Yun allows himself to be cared for my Chang Geng and how Chang Geng lets Gu Yun care for him

I want one acupuncture hedgehog scene please and thank you

I do want to see how they handle Chang Geng and his elder half-brother; how that dynamic unfolds will be something to pay some attention to, I think

Oh! That moment when Chang Geng kneels down in front of his brother and tells him to please bury any talk of his marriage and revealing to his brother the scars that he carries from his time living under Hu Ge Er’s roof (this is one brand of Whump that I promise you will hurt you very badly and it will be very good)

The argument at Jiangnan is something I really think will also make the final cut. It wouldn’t make sense to drop it seeing as this is a pivotal shift in their relationship where Chang Geng is finally holding his ground and not bending over backwards and believing everything his Yi Fu says. And this was the catalyst for their four year separation so yeah. I hope they do this justice.

I am not a betting person, but I high key bet that the scene between Gu Yun and the previous Emperor where he tells the man, “If you go, then I won’t have anyone left” and this being the moment that softens the dying fucker’s heart enough to give him a bracelet of beads that will be a major plot point towards the end

THE. BATTLE. SCENES.

Things I am hoping will happen:

At this point, speculation is that the point that tripped Winner Is King up for a recheck was the politics. This year is the 100th anniversary of the founding of the Communist Party in China and rumour has it that shit be sieving thick and so a lot of shows are erring on the side of caution. 

Politics is the highest likelihood of a recheck but I am hoping that it won’t be dumbed down or watered down too much because the politics and the way things played out in the book was absolutely divine and I really want to see that court intrigue and scheming and interplay unfold.

I’ve mentioned in my most recent podcast episode that I am banking on this show to scratch my itch for a Nirvana in Fire level of plottiness and infinite craftiness of the characters and I am crossing all fingers and toes for that to happen because All! The! Characters! Hold! Their! Own! And I need to see that play out please I am not asking for much...

The final sea battle with the Pope. I wouldn’t even know where they would even begin to shoot that scene but this is something I would love to see happen.

The Bone of Impurity attack after Gu Yun sneakily left the capital. That was the scene that caught me and hooked, lined and sinkered me for Chang Geng as a character. Listening to this scene be brought to life in the audio drama has really hammered it home that if they make this bit into the show, I will watch and weep if it is done right. 

Cao Niangzi being Cao Niangzi. I am thinking it might not happen the way I want, but I just need them to get them right.

Ge Chen peeing on the enemy’s face. Please. I laughed so hard. I need this. It will be a balm to my soul.

Please, I need Gu Yun’s soul crushing flute playing like I need Gong Jun to always be absolutely horrible at singing because baby this is your niche and this is your charm own it work it

I also need Gu Yun stealing a bamboo flute from a 10 year old because he got jealous please and thank you

Any flashback of Chang Geng and Hu Ge Er before Yanhui Town

I want to see that moment that Gu Yun hears first hand from someone who had knowledge of what Hu Ge Er would do to a baby Chang Geng and the horrible abuse she inflicted on him, because up to that point, he only knew that something went on, but never to the extent that revelation wrought unto him

Any of the Bone of Impurity moments; any mention of it, any visual representation of it... Gosh, just the idea of having the Bone of Impurity made visual is just... Ugh. Yes. Please. The suffering.

[bonus] Things I wish will happen but will probably not:

The hot spring scene or a version of it

An implication that baby cannibalism was involved in the making of a Bone of Impurity

The scene where they get to the goddess doll (the description of it in the book was so bone chilling and if they do this I will have nightmares, I’m just warning you)

I really, really want a scene where, after being crowned Emperor, Chang Geng goes to the frontlines to reclaim the South and upon hearing that he was there, Gu Yun immediately panicked like he was about to be caught with his pants down doing something illegal when all he did was ordered his subordinates to keep news of his injuries from being reported back to the capital

Any flashback of Chang Geng and Hu Ge Er before Yanhui Town; especially when they were with the Barbarians

I want to see some version of Hu Ge Er realising what she has done to her own child and to Chang Geng

Okay this got super long but what are you guys looking forward to seeing when Winner is King hits our screens? I’m looking forward to creating content for this fandom when it hits ೕ(˃̵ᴗ˂̵ ๑) In the meantime, sound off on what you’re expecting and what you’re maybe wary about!

[jae-daddy]

Play (2)

im jaebum mini series ft. jinyoung

one / two / three / four / five / six (final)  masterlist

pairing: jaebum x reader x jinyoung  genre: friends, angst, jealousy  plot: you and jaebum have been really great friends. things have been going smoothly because neither of you were in a real relationship, flings? sure, but girlfriends/boyfriends? no. so when Jaebum starts going out with Emma (a bitch), you can’t help but act out <3 a/n: I'm contemplating making this a jinyoung fic lol. hope y’all enjoy. thanks for all the love and support <3

Normally, people have a grand gesture or a classic tale of how they gained their best friend. You knew this because people love the tales of first meets. They love flaunting that badge of “we connected right away” or “I hated you at first, but now I can’t imagine life without you” bullshit and of the titles they give each other.

Okay, so that was a little hypocritical.

You had called Jaebum your best friend, but technically, you had thought it. Thinking it in your head shouldn't count, saying it out loud, on the other hand, should since it's disgustingly cringe.

But it was a fact, he was your best friend. However, there was no interesting story of your first meet or the moment you became friends. It just happened.

One day you went to a party, Jaebum was a friend of a friend. You met again at other parties, exchanged socials. You posted a picture of your now-dead dog, Jaebum replies saying “cute dog, but cats are better.”

You met up for drinks, talked, had fun.

And there, you both were now best friends.

You hated it when people asked for stories. You can’t remember the first moment you met everyone. There is no way anyone could ever possibly walk into a room, look at a random good-looking guy and be like-

“Yup, that’s the one, there’s the man of my dreams,” Emma swooned as she squeezed Jaebum’s hand on the dinner table lovingly. Jaebum glanced at her offering her a smile. His eyes met yours but didn’t stay because he could read your face, and just know that you were having none of this love at first sight bullshit.

“Jaebum told me that he felt the same way when he looked at me too,” Emma added, haughty. Her blue eyes gawked at you, smugly, showing off this apparent love of the century.

You bit your lip to stop the laugh threatening to come out. You turned your gaze away from her to Jaebum who looked away as soon as his eyes met yours. A small chuckle left you, “Did he?”

Sweet Jesus, he was such a fucking liar. The party they met, he was trying to hook up with Sarah from France. He’d only ended up with Emma because Sarah had chosen Jackson over him.

Love at first sight, sure.

“Oh that’s lovely,” the male beside you said. You turned to him, your lips in a thin smile as you gave him the eye.

“I thought I said no talking,” you leaned, whispering into his ears with a smile.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” he chuckled back, pecking your lips.

Ew. PDA.

“You’re so funny,” he smiled at you.

Dickdown 9/10 really needs to stop acting like he is your man. This is not a real date. You had told him that when you told him to come and eat with your friends. You were careful not to use the word ‘date’ and had reminded him all through the car ride.

But it seemed like playing boyfriend was his dream.

“Aww,” the evil witch cooed from the other side of the table. She looked over at Jaebum, who glanced straight across at you. “Aren’t they just adorable babe?”

Jaebum gave her halfhearted snort-smile combo, but Emma ignored him and continued. She looked at Dickdown 9/10 sitting directly across from her and asked, “So how did you both meet?”

“We’re just hooking up,” you cut him off before he could begin. “You asked me to bring someone because apparently seeing me coming here by myself makes you feel so sad. So I have bought someone, a friend-”

“We fuck,” Dickdown objected from beside you.

“A friend who I fuck,” you added, shrugging still looking at her. “Don’t make this more than this is.”

You gave her a beautiful smile.

Bitch.

She smiled, reflecting the same energy back.

“I hope you find a love divine as Jaebum and I did,” she smiled at you.

“I hope I fall in love with a random hook up one day, too,” you smiled back. You held up the beer in your hand, “For falling in love with trivial one night stands.”

“To finding love,” Jaebum gave you a stern look, as he lifted his glass. He turned to Emma placing a kiss on her forehead. “Wherever destiny takes you.”

“Oh baby,” she cooed, and you almost threw up in your mouth.

“I liked your toast better,” Dickdown smiled at you, and you saw the image of riding him on top the table flash through your mind.

“You are getting your dick sucked tonight,” you told him through your eyes. You didn’t know if he got the message, but the promise was already made.

Jaebum chortled from across the table. You turned around to face him, quirking your eyebrows at him. Jaebum just snorted as he shook his head.

“See that was fun, wasn’t it?” Jaebum jeered as you stood outside the bar waiting for Dickdown 9/10 to come back with his car. He was being responsible and did not drink; a true gentleman.

“Yeah, so fun! I am absolutely devastated the night has come to an end,” you pouted at him, making him roll his eyes. You shook your head as you faced the front.

“This is going to be the rest of your foreseeable future, you know,” you told him, as you turned to look at him. He stared at you, intently, but you didn't look away. Instead, you peered into his eyes, trying to tell him to snap out of it. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“Yes, I am okay.” He grinned at you, as your face dropped, disappointed.

You were hoping that would scare him, but he didn’t mind this dull life.

“This is what your fun night looks like now, and statistically, it will only get worse, unless you bring in a third party for fun.”

“Are you volunteering?”

“Make it just us two and I’ll make it the perfect fun night.” You smirked back. Your breath quickened as his brooding brown eyes dropped down to your lips. You licked it instinctively.

Jaebum’s eyes met yours, flickering down to your lips once more before he smiled, rolling his eyes as he looked away, “Stop that.”

“Stop what?” You smiled, innocently. You knew exactly what you were doing, but you didn’t care.

“Stop flirting with me.”

“Such accusations,” you gasped.

You winked.

“My god, you’re such a flirt,” Jaebum laughed, looking out to the road. “This is why Emma worries when we are together. She just doesn’t get that this is a joke.”

What joke? You mean it.

Kinda.

“Emma would be jealous of a coconut tree if you stood too close to it, Jae,” you retorted, making him give you a pointed look. “That girl is loco.”

“You think too badly of her,” he smiled, nudging his shoulder against yours. “Once you get to know her, she’s not bad. You would like her.”

“I’m sure if people spent enough time with anyone, they’d start to like them. It’s probably a minute form of Stockholm syndrome,” you shrugged at him, facing the front. You noticed as Dickdown 9/10 bought the car around. “You couldn’t get away from her, so you decided to like her.”

“You’re crazy,” Jaebum told you, a smile on his lips. He watched as you walked away from him, towards the car. He followed a few steps behind you, “This guy seems like a dick. Who the fuck doesn’t drink at bars?”

“A responsible dick who has to drive me home, and will be rewarded with very nice dominated sexual acts,” you laughed when Jaebum grimaced. “Yeah, he’s a bit of a wanker, but he isn’t too bad.”

“What’s his name?” Jaebum asked. The car stopped a few feet away from you, you turned to face Jaebum with wide eyes. When you didn’t reply he smirked, “You don’t know his name.”

“I do,” you argued.

Fucking shit, you didn’t. He was Dickdown 9/10.

You cursed yourself, you should’ve listened when he introduced himself when you both walked in.

“He’s just a friend, Jae,” you drolled, giving him a shrug.

“I’m just a friend and you know my name.”

“But that’s cause I love you my pumpkin pie,” you gave him mocking smile, as you brought your hand to your heart. “Now, bye.”

“Text me when you get home,” he called out as you opened the passenger seat.

“You too!” You stuck out the window and waved him bye.

“They were nice,” Dickdown 9/10 said as he drove away. You turned over to him, a small smile on your lips.

You reached over undoing his pants.

“And you were a good boy tonight,” you leaned over, kissing his neck, “such a good boy.”

You leaned down, wetting your lips before it wrapped around his cock.

“Fuck,” he groaned.

//

Was this a bad thing that bad people normal did? Definitely.

You knew that you didn’t need another person’s advice or a search on Google to know that this was a bad idea. Out there in the world of other judging people, you would be called a home-wrecker, a whore or something along those lines of insults.

You would have been affected by those words if you were say, five years younger. But when they were the actual and honest truth, why not take it with grace.

It wasn’t like you were actually going to try to break Jaebum and his lovely bitch of a girlfriend Emma up. You were just going to like him and wait for them to break up, which they will inevitably for sure.

Until then, you just need to relax and chill.

And that started with getting rid of the arm wrapped around your waist so early in the morning.

You stared at your reflection in the mirror as you lay there with his front pressed against your back.

You should’ve gotten rid of him last night.

But he was so good at dinner, you felt bad telling him to go after he did that and lived up to his nickname, so you let him stay.

Still, it was time to wish him bon voyage.

But you had too. You couldn’t do relationships.

It’s better to end it now before he starts to think this is more.

“Next time just find someone on Tinder,” you thought to yourself as you glared at your reflection. At least if it is a stranger on Tinder you wouldn’t be losing the best dick you got after dinner with your friends. But it was time for all good things to end.

You removed his arms off you and sat up on your bed staring at him. He stirred a bit at first, and then went back to sleep.

You sighed, getting up from your bed. You grabbed a t-shirt lying around that ended on your mid-thigh. You looked around for something, and decided to open the curtains was the most annoying thing you could.

“What?” he groaned, his voice all sexy and sleepy. You turned around with the light streaming in from behind you. It was a wonderful sunny day, and his voice was making you want to get back in there and have good and deserving good-bye sex.

But you stood your ground and folded your arms across your chest, “Time to leave, bud.”

“Wow, no good morning,” he moaned, but got up nonetheless. You grabbed his clothes and handed them to him.

“Thank you for the wonderful times, you were amazing.”

“This sounds like a goodbye,” he snorted putting his shirt over his head.

You looked at him with a sad smile, “This is goodbye, forever.”

“Woah,” he frowned as you gave him his wallet and car keys.

“I think it’s only fair for you to know,” you gave him a supportive smile, “You were a solid nine out of ten. A true gifts from Heaven.”

“Why not a ten?” He asked, and you frowned thinking about it.

“You were great, so I don’t think the missing point is your fault,” you bit your lip contemplating.

“Maybe its cause you’re dead inside?” He smiled like he had done something.

You nodded, agreeing, “That’s probably it. Your dick is missing that one point because it couldn’t bring me back to live.”

“Well,” you kissed his cheek and pushed him out of your room. “Bye-bye.”

You closed your door and patted your back, “That wasn’t bad. That was very good.”

//

“Where’s your boy toy?” Jaebum asked as he paid the cashier for his coffee.

You frowned, “You’re making me sound like a cougar.”

“And that’s bad?”

“Definitely not, that is goals. But I am still in my twenties. If I was a cougar at this age, that would be illegal.” You told him before turning to the barrister to place your order.

“Hi, how may I help you?” The perky girl said, not looking up from the screen.

“A caramel Frappuccino,” you sang, rolling your tongue.

“God, you’re embarrassing.” Jaebum sighed from beside you.

“Hey-”

“That’ll be 7.50,” she pointed to the EFTPOS machine. You placed your card on it waiting for the beep. You looked up at the girl, getting the receipt, “Thank you.”

“How come you wanted to hang?” You asked Jaebum as you settled on a table towards the back of the cafe.

“Can't I just casually want to have a chat with you?”

“We’ve met three times already this week,” you rolled your eyes at his pout. “And asking me for coffee? That’s a bit formal.”

“Well, it is formal business,” Jaebum placed his intertwined fingers on the table with a proud smile. “I wanted to formally tell you that my book has been approved for a second viewing.”

“Oh my god!” You gasped, your eyes widening. You froze for a second, before chuckling, tears in your eyes. “Oh my god, that’s amazing. I’m so proud of you. You worked so hard. Oh my gosh-”

“I know,” he clasped your hand in his. He looked into your eyes, his eyes glistening as he gave you a sincere smile. “Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“All I did was get you drunk,” you breathed, chuckling as you wiped your eyes before the tears ran free.

You were not going to cry in a cafe, no matter how fucking happy you were.

Jaebum just laughed, throwing his head back. He sobered and started explaining how he got told the notified, and what changes they wanted to make to the book.

“They want to change Persephone?” You frowned, she was your favourite.

“They said something about Greek mythology-”

“Duh.”

“And something about it being impressionable to young readers,” he bit his lips.

Before you could say anything, the waitress came with two cups and a piece of chocolate cake. You looked at her, managing to give her a tight smile, “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” Jaebum smiled at her, before looking at you. He stared at your frowning face and passed you a spoon. “Here.”

You took it off him and took a bite of the cake.

“I’m not going to let them,” he said after a moment.

You looked up, staring into his eyes as he looked at you with a knowing smile.

“I’ll go to another publisher if I have to, they can’t take her away.”

“Jae,” you sighed, moved by his words. Persephone was your character; the one you had helped build. She was like your child and fictional form at once. “You just saying that is enough. You don’t have to for me-”

“She was is my favourite, y/n,” he held your gaze, and your heart swelled. “It won’t be the same without her. I can’t.”

“It’ll work out,” you patted his hand. You spooned a piece of cake and held it to him. He took the bite, licking his lip as he leaned back into his seat.

“I hope so,” his eyes darted to the doors. He held up a hand as if to grab someone’s attention. You turned to find a very attractive male walking in. Jaebum continued from behind you, “That’s why I invited the editor for a meeting.”

You turned to Jaebum, wide-eyed, “What?!”

“Smile, he’s here.” Jaebum gave you a knowing look. “You helped build her, maybe your views and ideas would persuade him.”

“Hey, Jaebum,” the good-looking editor held out his hand. Jaebum got up shaking it.

“Mr Park,” Jaebum smiled politely.

“Jinyoung is fine,” he smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

He was cute.

“This is y/n,” Jaebum gestured towards you. You just smiled, not sure if you should get up too. Jinyoung smiled, nodding, as he seated at the end of the four-sided table. “Have you ordered?”

“Yup, just as I walked in,” his voice was deep and soothing. “Do you want to talk around or get straight down to it?”

“Straight to it,” Jaebum snorted, both of them relaxing into their seats. The waitress placed the drink in front of Jinyoung, a blush blooming on her cheeks as he thanked her with a sweet smile.

You just sat back and watched him.

“I heard you have a problem with my suggestions?” He pulled out a few papers from his suitcase.

What a cunt carrying a suitcase, pretty handsome though.

“Well, that’s only because you want to get rid of arguably the most important character,” Jaebum laughed, but his tone tight.

One hour, a whole hour of going back and forth. You spent a good ten minute on a monologue of exactly why Persephone was a good character, and a great role model for young readers; especially girls.

“But would parents be comfortable with letting their kids read about a female-”

“Who fights, swears and chooses her sexual partners?” You cut him off raising an eyebrow at him. Jinyoung smiled at you, arrogantly, like what you were saying was of no value. “How are her actions any different to the male main character? Xavier does the same if not worse.”

“But parents, Miss-”

“Y/n is fine,” you smiled and continued. “Don’t be a pussy, Jinyoung. Parents don’t read books before giving them to their kids. And this is young adult, not primary school kids.”

You saw Jaebum still as he licked his lips, holding back a smile.

“Parents follow reviews,” Jinyoung’s smile grew as he leaned towards you, “Good parents do, at least.”

Red. You saw red.

“How about a compromise?” Jaebum said, making you both turn towards him. “Persephone stays, but only two partners; the rest stays the same.”

“I could convince the Board with that,” Jinyoung nodded, he glanced at you his lips quirking up. “Feminism sexuality isn’t defined by the number of people someone can sleep with. It’s about owning it. A smaller number but the same attitude will still get the same message across.”

You didn’t say anything.

What he said did make sense.

Shitty cunthead.

not edited

[mystical-flute]

Hustling For the Good Life (SFWeek Day 3)

No Curse (Our World) AU or Season 3 AU

@mysteryandnonstopfun

AO3 || FFN

Emma’s stare was harsh and aimed in the direction of her parents and Regina. “We can’t.”

There was absolutely no time to argue. Pan’s curse was steadily drawing near, the sky already taking on a dark, ominous hue, swallowing up the buildings and people that had called Storybrooke home for twenty-eight years.

“Emma, you have to go. It’s the only way to keep Henry safe!” Snow protested.

Neal turned away from the small family, and looked at Belle. “Are you going to be okay, Belle?”

“Don’t worry about me. Your father would want you and Henry to be safe, Bae,” she said. “Besides, Snow has been kind enough to allow me to stay with them… if we’re able to get back to their castle.”

So much was unknown about what was going to happen. Neal was worried he might throw up.

He put on a brave smile that he knew neither of them bought.

“You guys need to hurry!” Ruby suddenly cried, glancing over her shoulder at the purple storm clouds racing toward them. “It’s almost here!”

Neal squeezed Belle’s hand and turned to Emma and Henry. “Let’s - let’s get to safety, then.”

He should have been happy that the life he and Emma deserved to have was within his grasp, but like everything with magic, the price was too damn steep, and it wouldn’t be worth it.

They might not remember Storybrooke, but he knew the pain in Snow, David, and Regina’s eyes would never leave.

“I’m sorry it has to be this way,” he said, passing Regina on his way to the bug.

“Just keep Henry safe. Please.”

“You know we will.”

Neal gave Hook one final glance, and a single nod of acknowledgement before he got in the passenger’s seat once Henry was safely in the back. He and Emma clasped their hands over the gear shift, the familiar rumbling of the bug almost making him smile as Emma began to drive.

None of them took their eyes off the mirrors as their loved ones -

“Em? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” he asked, glancing at her. “Allergies acting up?”

Emma took her hand off his, using it to wipe her eyes before she pulled to the side of the road. “No - sorry. I just got a little overwhelmed at the thought of our apartment in Boston. We’ve lost everything, Neal. Our clothes, our furniture, our pictures - ”

“But not our lives,” he said, rubbing her back. “Emma, we’re lucky we weren’t home when the fire broke out. We can replace the stuff, but we can’t replace each other.”

Henry looked up from his game. “I’m not reenacting those baby pictures.”

Neal snort-laughed. “You don’t have to, bud. But just be aware that your mom and I might take a few extra pictures of you for the foreseeable future.”

Henry scowled, rolling his eyes, and immersed himself in Zelda again.

Emma chuckled. “New York then. Almost home.”

---

“It’s a boy!” the doctor announced, Henry’s cries cutting through the air.

“Healthy pair of lungs on him,” the nurse chuckled, rubbing him down. “Oh darling, it’s okay. Let’s get you to Mama, hmm?”

Emma and Neal, two terrified eighteen year olds, were in shock as the nurse laid him in Emma’s arms.

“H - hi baby…” Emma whispered as his cries slowly died down and he stared at them with wonder in his dark eyes. “I’m - I’m your mama… and that’s your daddy…”

The first year had been rough, of course. They lived in a tiny, one-bedroom apartment in Tallahassee, waitressing and whatever else they could find. They clawed and saved whatever they could, to give Henry more than what they’d had.

But more important than things, was love. Henry had two parents that loved him more than anything in the world, which is much more than Neal or Emma could say for themselves.

They were happy, most of all. Yeah the apartment was a squeeze, and there were on and off issues with bugs, but through it all, the three of them were happy.

They married when Henry was three - a small ceremony in Boston after they’d moved there for Emma’s job. He’d gotten a better job not long after that, as a photographer, and he was really, really good at it, like Emma was good at tracking down criminals.

And so the little family moved up in the world. From a one-bedroom apartment to a two bedroom, they could buy new toys and clothes for Henry instead of hoping they found something at a thrift store or garage sale. It finally felt like they were where they were meant to be.

Emma’s twenty-eighth birthday came and went, and Neal felt a twist of guilt in his gut when August’s voice echoed in his head.

The problem was, Neal hadn’t heard anything from August. No postcard, no email… nothing. No information as to where this supposed curse was?

So how was he supposed to get Emma to her supposed destiny if he didn’t know where he was going?

He had a job, a family. They couldn’t just drive across the country and hope they got lucky.

Then there had been the fire, the spring after Emma’s birthday. They’d been on a camping trip in Maine, Neal taking photos of the coast and Emma insisting Henry needed less time in front of the screen, when they’d gotten the call.

Everything in their apartment was gone, the building itself almost totally a loss.

He’d been transferred to New York.

So they’d started over, again.

New York had been good to them - incredibly so.

The magazine he’d gotten a job with had offered to pay for their rent for two months while they got new furniture and settled into the city.

Henry was thriving in school, making friends and joining the art club. It was everything Neal had ever hoped for.

And after they’d settled in, new furniture and wardrobes abound, they had received a call from one of Emma’s contacts with the NYPD. A two year old girl had been found in an abandoned apartment. No family that the cops or child services could find, and the girl didn’t say anything other than her name - Audrey.

So they’d taken her in, adoption paperwork being expedited given the strangeness of the situation.

All she had to her name was a pink baby blanket, not unlike the one Emma had.

It felt like fate, adopting Audrey the way it happened.

Or something else, but Neal pushed that thought aside as he situated her in her chair, watching as she carefully fed herself.

Emma slid into the seat next to her, a plate in her hand.

“Busy day today?” she asked.

“Nah, just editing the pictures from the Elton John concert last night. I can do it from here,” he said with a shrug, glancing over at a knock on the door. “I got it.”

When he pulled the door open, he’d wished he hadn’t.

“Baelfire.”

He felt the color drain from his face. “Hook. What the hell are you doing here?”

To his shock, Hook actually looked relieved to see him, like it hadn’t been 200 years since they saw each other. Like they had actually been friendly last he saw him. “I came to get you three, Baelfire. To take you home.”

“Home? You must be insane. I am home.”

“Emma’s parents need help, Baelfire. So does your father.”

His eyes narrowed. “Did August send you?”

Hook’s face radiated confusion. “Who’s August?”

That was a no, then, and that didn’t make Neal feel any better about Hook being here. He shouldn’t even know what he looked like - he’d been fourteen when they last saw each other! “Why should I believe you? After everything? And why would you give a damn about my father?”

“He saved my life.”

Neal laughed, then winced when he remembered Emma and Henry were only feet away. “Why would he save you ?”

Hook shrugged. “I was collaterally saved.”

“As always,” he spat.

“Dad?” Henry called. “You okay?”

“Just a second, Henry!” Neal turned back to Hook and narrowed his eyes. “Get lost. Whatever you’re selling, I don’t want it.”

Hook sighed, holding out a piece of paper. “Fine. If you change your mind, I’m staying here.”

Neal frowned as he took it, watching Hook disappear back down the hall. How had Hook been able to get a hotel room?

This was weird, and despite his instincts telling him to stay away from anything related to the Enchanted Forest, Hook had mentioned Emma’s parents. If they were involved in this, maybe there was more to Emma being left on the side of the road.

So, with Henry at school, Emma at work, and Audrey at daycare, Neal did what his brain was yelling at him not to do, and wandered to the address Hook had given him. To his surprise, it wasn’t a hotel at all, but an apartment building. He was let in no problem, and stood in front of the door.

Why was this familiar?

He pushed the door open, and resisted the urge to toss his keys on a nearby table (why had he wanted to do that?). Instead, he picked up an envelope that caught his attention, dropping it in shock.

Why was his name on it?

He left the envelope on the floor, glancing again around the apartment, and his heart stopped.

The yellow dreamcatcher he and Emma had snatched was hanging from a window. Rushing to it, he lifted it into his hands, afraid it would break.

It should have burned in the fire. How was it here?

“I wasn’t sure you’d come,” Hook’s voice rumbled from the doorway.

Neal spun around. “Hook, what the hell is this?”

Hook didn’t answer, instead, he pulled a vial of blue liquid from his pocket and held it out. “Your memories of the past year have been erased, Bae.”

“Neal.” He made no move to take the vial.

Hook sighed. “Neal. Please. You have to trust me.”

“Why?”

“It’s like I said - Emma’s family is in danger. A witch is plotting something against her parents. I only just escaped in time before they were sent back to Storybrooke.”

Neal bit his lip and looked around the apartment again. That might explain why he never heard from August, but getting Emma to do anything regarding her parents would be worse than pulling teeth.

He took the vial and drained it, lurching back in pain when the memories began to flood in.

Oh no.

Neal’s eyes were wide with horror as they settled down, and looked up at Hook again. “Killian…”

Killian grinned. “There you are, lad.”

“How’s Belle?”

Killian had a hesitant look on his face. “She’s… as well as she can be. Your father is alive, Bae, but he’s missing, and with Emma’s parents in danger - ”

“The witch might have something to do with it.” She probably had something to do with it, really. “What about Emma and Henry’s memories?”

Hook pulled out two more vials, his face sad. “I’m sorry I had to wake you up, Bae.”

He sighed, remembering the devastation before they’d crossed the town line, Emma’s tearful, almost childish refusal to leave her parents, and the broken look Regina had tried to hide when Henry wasn’t looking. “Don’t be. This is… going to be for the best.”

What it meant for him and Emma, time would only tell.

The Bug was quiet as they raced through the night, back to Storybrooke. Hook, Henry, and Audrey were asleep in the back, but Neal was wide awake.

“Emma…” he said quietly. “About us - ”

Her head snapped over, visible confusion on her face. “What about us?”

“I mean… the marriage, the amount of love we have for each other - ”

“False memories or not, the love I have for you is real, Neal Cassidy,” she said. “I was going to meet you at Granny’s, give you that second chance before Pan’s curse. Although… I guess that was a second chance too.”

Neal smiled, relieved. “So you wanna stay married to me?”

Emma smiled back. “Neal Cassidy, I’ll marry you in any lifetime.”

[scarecrowmax]

Pt 22 to my Emma Lives AU plot requested by regnumveritatis on AO3

Emma hated having Chuck in the bunker, God or not he was annoying and disruptive to the flow of their lives. Plus he never seemed to wash his own dishes and she was half tempted to break his stupid #1 Dad mug over his head. #1 Deadbeat maybe, but #1 Dad he is not, she had only met a few angels for any length of time but she knew enough that he'd royally screwed the lot of them up in one way or another. Cas absolutely felt abandoned by him and would get the same kind of look on his face at times when God was brought up as Dean did when her grandfather was brought up and that told her enough right there. She'd read John's journal and if God was anything like John, then well, a mug would be the least he'd be owed. The main thing that kept her from doing it was the fact that he said he could help them with Amara, and getting rid of her was too important to ruin their chance on that. 

She only felt more off-kilter when Lucifer arrived wearing Cas, if there was any way she could kill him without hurting Cas she would, she hated seeing Cas used like that. She knew he had to have been completely tricked by him. And she could see how Sam flinched any time Lucifer got near him, her dad had told her the basics and she knew not to ask Sam but she wished she knew just what he'd done to her uncle so she didn't risk making it worse when he was dealing with the memories of it all.

Trying to do family therapy with Lucifer and God just felt ridiculous, how do you help them get past all their shit also, how can you possibly fix millennia of abandonment/daddy issues? Lucifer was just throwing barbs and trying to get attention and an apology for the cage and everything else but Chuck wouldn't do it. 

Emma finally interjected, knowing they weren't actually getting anywhere and that direct accusations from a neutral party could help. "You gave Lucifer the mark when you guys sealed up your sister right? Didn't you have some understanding of what that would do? Isn't it your fault he's like this? I mean I read the books, when he was facing Michael in Stull he did say something about you wanting an adversary, was he right about all that?" 

At nearly the same time Lucifer said "Thank you!" And Dean panic asked "You read the books?" aware of just what kinds of things had made it into the ones he'd read when they first discovered them.

"Charlie told me what stuff to avoid before giving them to me, don't worry."

Chuck huffed annoyed, "How could I have known that? I'd never done anything like that, I can only foresee things to a degree based on past knowledge. I just have more knowledge than other people and can see it that way. Definitely didn't foresee you though, would've thought that would go differently."

That last bit hit her like a slap to the face. Did he mean it like he would have expected her to kill her dad or for them to have killed her? Odds are he meant the latter based on how well he knew Sam and her Dad. The rest of the conversation had Lucifer leaving to put on the moody teen act, and Emma took the opportunity to slip away to the kitchen. It was far enough away from both Chuck and Lucifer that she could collect herself. She was losing it just a little and she didn't want to be. Didn't want to think about the fact that God pretty much just said she was supposed to die that day in the motel room. She was supposed to have died at three days old and she couldn't get that out of her head. She really wished Cas was around, he always seemed to know what to say when he caught her after nightmares about that somehow. She could call Benny or Gath, but they probably wouldn't be quite as comforting to talk to about this over the phone as they would be in person. Maybe she could call Jody, but she was probably working and she didn't want to interrupt her. Thankfully Dean chose that moment to walk in. He saw the look on her face and just pulled her in for a hug, she had the back of his flannel fisted in her hand, and was almost in tears.

"It never woulda gone differently kiddo, you're my kid and I love you okay. Always have, always will. Loved you since the moment I saw you in your crib."

That simple statement said it all, he loved her before he even knew for sure she was his. He was her dad, always would be, and would never kill her. Even at his worst, his most demonic, he didn’t do it. Chuck was wrong and she just had to hold onto that, her existence defied God’s knowledge and she was good with that.

It all went to shit again when her dad offered to be the vessel for a soul based bomb to kill Amara. She wanted to scream, couldn’t things be okay for five friggin minutes? Did she have to lose him again? After everything, she knew he blamed himself for her being let out but Emma also blamed herself. She was the one who had pushed Sam to try and find a way to get rid of the mark because she was scared. She was just as culpable as him and if there was any way he'd let her do it she'd be the one going for Amara. Even Crowley and Rowena could tell how much it hurt her to see her dad offering himself up like it was nothing. Charlie, Benny, and Meg weren't there to talk sense into Dean, Sam understood his guilt and was willing to let him do it, Rowena didn't care enough about him to stop him, and Crowley wasn't going to stop him either he just put his hand on Emma's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. If only Cas would just tell him not to do it, Cas could convince him to stop but he didn't say anything. He didn't stop him this time and she felt like her world was ending.

Saying goodbye was the hardest thing she'd ever done, and him joking about what kind of funeral he wanted was too much. 

She knew she'd be safe but him asking her to try and be happy was almost too much. How could she be with a hole in her heart that big? He knew what it was like to lose a parent, how could he be selfish enough to leave her voluntarily. She knew he was destroyed by his dad doing the same, how screwed up Sam had been when Dean made that deal, how could she not be just as messed up by him doing this? His parting words weren't good enough to be his last, no words really could be though. It was gonna feel like she'd been ripped apart no matter what.

 After he left they all scattered a bit. She needed to get out of the bunker, get away from it all for a bit, she left a note for Sam and Cas saying what she was doing and jumped in her car and drove off for Benny's. But it felt like Dean was still there, getting out of the bunker didn't let her escape the memories because they had fixed up her car together, they went on the inaugural drive together, he was everywhere and she knew he was heading off to die. She had to pull off the road because her tears had clouded her eyes too much to safely drive. She wiped away the tears and angrily smacked the wheel wishing things were different, that her dad wasn't about to sacrifice himself. She just wished that everything was different. But it was what it was, and she couldn't change anything. She just hoped being around Benny would help, someone had to tell him what happened at any rate. She’d let Sam make the calls to Jody and the others, she couldn’t handle doing that, telling Benny would be hard enough.

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