#you guys make the creation process that much better and I love u

[echobows]

not even gonna lie, I didn't think I'd be getting InuKag goodness for my birthday today

I kinda just thought I was the weirdo who posted Inuyasha memes every once in awhile, but seeing how much people like and care about my stuff enough to create gifts for me almost makes me wanna cry 🥺

thank you guys SO MUCH, now I gotta make sure I repay y'all's kindness (with more memes and genuine heartfelt romance)

[auspex]

for mark: 13, 19, 21, 32, 36, 51, 59, 63, 69

HIII thank u for sending! - 13. what are some motifs you associate with them? did you intentionally bring in those motifs, or did it happen over time?

Uhmmm I don’t know if I have specific motifs but here are some things that are like. His. ~He says “very funny” a lot sarcastically - intentionally done early on ~He wears sweater vests a lot - ST made it canon because he is wearing them in a lot of art of his ~In general themes of privacy (or the lack therof) are things his story deals with FUCK IDK I can’t think of anything good im sorryy

-

19. what sparks genuine, unadulterated rage in them?

Due to the blood bond, criticizing/demonizing (in his view) Julius can piss him off really fast. It did so in game even when his touchstone did it, to the point where he shoved him and had to leave to prevent more violence. He will also get incredibly angry if someone were to tell him that humans are all evil/useless/pointless but is better at hiding that if needed. 

-

21. do they have an idea about how they’ll die? do you?

Me? No idea. I hope he does not die anytime soon. I want him to die after unliving longer than a human one but not so long that he loses too much humanity. Him? He is hoping that he lives forever. If you got an honest answer out of him he would probably say he expects to die trying to free himself from Julius one of these nights, but hopefully not anytime soon. 

-

32. which of your decisions led to their voice being the way it is?

I’m confused on this being literal voice or like. Voice in like how they speak so I will answer how he speaks because I feel that actual has reasoning behind it other than vibes? His pretentious way of speaking came from me deciding he will put on a strict persona normally of being a professor nerdy guy. He hides a lot of himself which is why he keeps his tone more flat, and sometimes snarky, to fit that persona. 

-

36. how do they fidget?

Mark plays with his glasses a lot of a lot. Usually keeping them on his face, constant minor adjustments. He’ll wring his hands excessively if he doesn't have them for whatever reason; he isn’t comfortable without them. 

-

51. what element of their backstory are you proudest of?

Honestly a lot of his backstory came much later and was fleshed out after a very long time and the ST helped a lot with the more immediate backstory bits.. Hm. 

On initial creation the thing I am most proud of making A Thing was making him a former street racer cause that really helped to start fleshing him out. At this point the thing I am most proud of is probably essentially tracing the broad strokes of his whole human life - the city he went to. How school was for him. His parent’s jobs. What his uni life was like. Why his touchstones were so important. Stuff like that. I also like that I figured out things about his autism that are similar AND different from mine. That isn't one element so uhm. One element is how he believes in the good of humanity and how that is tied to his passion for history :)

-

59. what’s an element of their philosophy that you disagree with?

Mark thinks human society gets better slowly and incrementally. That’s fine and I agree it is getting better - I just disagree that it's a slow incremental process. People have to fight for it and people have fought for it. It doesn't happen naturally over time. Hmm what else. Oh he also believes in soulmates and ‘the one’ and all of that, and has a very idealistic, non-materialist view of love and romance. I don’t agree with that either - soul mates aren’t really a thing. And unlike Mark I do not think romantic relationships have to be/are always the most meaningful ones in someone’s life. 

-

63. what’s a meme or tiktok or vine (or whatever) that you associate with them?

I don’t really have any augh. :( I mean. When I hear ‘sad wet pathetic dog of a man’ that’s Mark 100 percent. Does that count. OH WAIT I DO HAVE A VIDEO: https://www.tumblr.com/blood-bound/728585123578118144?source=share&ref=_tumblr

him as a living professor

-

69. what’s one secret they don’t want getting out?

Mark has a lot they don’t want getting out… he doesn’t want people to know Sampson is not blood bonded to him, nor that he cares about him. He doesn’t want people to know who his sire is. He doesn’t want anyone to know he is trying to kill his sire. He doesn’t want people to know he’s gay. He doesn’t want people to know that he feels lonely. He doesn’t want people to know that he finds most kindred’s attitudes towards kind abhorrent. He doesn’t want people to know that he has a soft spot for the gargoyles. 

Honestly he doesn’t want the vast majority people to really know him at all. Only the image he projects. 

Still though, of the above the one he would choose to hide if he could only pick one is the one about killing his sire. That one would cause either his final death or total blood-bond enslavement forever. 

[laplacemail]

🌼🌸 anon here to make your day a bit sweeter !! you're an amazing person and i hope you've had an amazing start of the week. now, onto some nosy questions: where do you get your inspiration for your character(s) from? are there specific types of medias that have influenced the way you write or maybe even specific writers (maybe even from the rpc)? anyways, i hope your week continues to be sweet and amazing because the best of the best is what you deserve, dear friend !!

Hi nonnieee! Thank you for such a sweet message. I'm starting to get better, so hopefully I can go back to writing more often...! Hopefully next week 😭 ... want to chill with my husband for my birthday in a few days and then I can pay attention here and do some much needed cleaning (threads/asks/followers/what have u) and hopefully that will keep me on track! I hope you are having a super duper awesome day too! And that you're eating something yummy!!

And, hmmm. Good question! I kind of take inspiration from characters I'm currently vibing with, or shows/things I like. When I make OCs I just think of a like. Vague concept or personality trait I'd like to explore and then I just go off from there and add things to complement it.

Examples I can think about: Adonia was made was I was very into CRK and Pure Vanilla was a guy I was obsessing over! So I made somebody who would fit my current likes and what I was into at the time. And he just turned into his own person, completely different but still having some hints of my original inspiration. Aeron takes inspiration from Karna (FGO) and Siegfried (GBF), but he isn't quite exactly like that? But the fierce knight who is a bit awkward at talking to people normally / charitable hero traits are things you can see in him. Luc takes inspiration from Phantom (Arknights) and. well. POTO. And the funny thing is that Arknights just stole back from my guy so I find that horribly funny. But my method is just 'what are interesting themes I want to explore' and it just goes off from that. Or even a song sometimes, one of my oldest OCs I just kind of took a lot of inspiration from a song from my favorite band. This is more of my character creation process than my inspiration, but I feel like they go hand in hand.

For actual book authors I get inspiration from, I feel like once you read something you start to assimilate some parts of their writing/how they do stuff. That goes for your RP partners, too. So for book authors I cannot really give you a list of things that inspire me, since your brain likes to absorb these mannerisms like a sponge! And in the end you're left with an amalgamation of things you like that... makes you a better person and writing more comfortably at the end of the day.

But I'd like to reserve this space to give a shoutout to some writers in the RP community that amaze me and inspire me to do better, and 500% of my will to write is really like. 'This starter/reply/ask was amazing and I want to give it the attention and love it deserves'.

Which means I probably read their replies over and over, even if it is not directly addressed at me. Thank you for inspiring me to be better, and for sharing your writing (which can be such an incredibly personal thing, sometimes) with the world! It ain't easy and it ain't much!! But it's honest work!!

Here's some amazing people that inspire me (and just some otherwise this list would be WAY TOO LONG LMAO) :

@thronelessking / @aaternum / @derjaegermond / @xamassed / @kesil / @voiceofduality / @stagsworn / @saintsdawn / @lunaetis / @tenkoseiensei / @ofhope

Tumblr is gonna break some of these but I'm going to eat both of its hands right as I publish this ask. (noms)

Thank you for this btw!! I hope you have a great great great great week and weekend!

[ratgirlt850]

Spider-ManT290

A world where evil runs rampant through a futuristic city. Miguel o hara now older has a one last attempt at saving the world from destruction builds a robot, Adam walker to go back in time to the year 1995 and stop the creation of alchmex. Read this story where spider man meets terminator and the fight for Justice.

Chapter 2: the beginning of the end

It’s hard to calculate the out come of the future and for Miguel o hara it was even more so.

So many times he had failed by doing what he thought was right.

How many mistakes it takes to become better.

But Miguel was strong and stubborn.

He had known from the beginning of his career as spider man that alchmex was not to be messed with. He knew the corrupt inner workings of the company. Since Miguel had once worked there himself and the hell it was to get out. Alchmex was definitely evil but was it to the extent that anyone even Miguel could imagine? Yes.

The horror stories, the abductions, murders and even government corruption. This place had the whole city of Nueva York wrapped around its finger. Including police and politicians. But the real trouble was when it started to spread. More alchmexs in different cities. Miguel had worked for alchmex when it just started to spread, he had worked there for many years trying to ignore the atrocities but he just couldn’t do it and ended up paying for it. He had become what he is known for today but at what cost. Miguel knew that he had to stop alchmex before it was too late so while he tried to do other missions even big ones like containing the multiverse his main goal was always to stop alchmex. It didn’t help that the new universes meant more alchmexs but he carried on. He would get big leads and would slowly make progress but it wasn’t enough, nothing was ever enough.

Over the years he had grown tired and stormed into Tyler stones office.

Tyler was the head of it all he knew all and seen all. Of course Miguel knew this he wasn’t that stupid to just walk in, there were precautions. His plan was to kidnap him and make him confess to everything. This plan was stupid in the long run. Miguel left this battle with half a arm. That was the first piece of the amazing Spider-Man 2099s downfall.

Tyler stone was smart he knew how to get to Miguel. Making him feel less than or dumb. Making him feel like a failure.

Tyler was fond of him in his own sick twisted way. He knew that he was Spider-Man he was fascinated by the mutation Miguel went through and He wanted to replicate it.

Miguel’s arm was a set back. He had to learn to live without it and had to create his own mechanical arm. It took years to perfect. So much energy sucked from him he even took a break as spider man for 10 months. Miguel had come to liking the process though, he liked making something that will be used every day, It felt important.

He eventually got back into the swing of things but was never really the same. He spent many hours, years trying to figure out a way to stop alchmex from whatever it’s planning to do.

Somehow the seasons blended together and Miguel found himself old. A life of chasing things that were out of his control. His limbs were too weak to fight like he used to. His back ached and cracked, his old mechanic arm weathered. He was fading away and he couldn’t stop what alchmex was becoming. Whatever he did it always advanced. He knew then that he could have never stopped it. That it’s wasn’t ever HIS job to do. By the time Miguel was born alchmex was already too powerful. So he had a plan. A plan that would stop alchmex before it was ever created…

hi!! Omg if you read this chapter thank you😽 sorry for the cliff hanger hopefully you’ll tune in for the next chapter! Let me know in the comments how u guys like it! I love feed back. Thank you again have a lovely day 😊😽❤️

[movetobiimos]

❱ http:˚♡a special gift  !! ˚ˑؘ 🍙 ·˚

° └➤ ･ﾟˊˎ VIKTOR CHRISTMAS SPECIAL !! 

-ˋ₊˚. ꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ . christmas was something he could careless about. But when a someone appears at his lab with a present for him. It changes everything

˗ˏˋ # AN . hello hello guys!! Merry holidays and i hope that everyone is doing great! I hope you enjoy this christmas thing ahdfhjskf T^T i was planning on posting it the other night but gosh i was tired…buttt here it isss!!

"Have you been standing there for a while?" A voice spoke up out of nowhere, grabbing your whole attention. You move your gaze from side to side to see who it is, but as you glance forward, you notice Viktor sitting comfortably on the chair.

"O-oh, u-uhh-"  Your brain tried to process what you wanted to say, but it came to a halt. "W-well, not quite very long." You fidgeted with your hands around the colorful box with the lovely golden ribbon on top.

"I-I wanted to give you something; I know it's not perfect, but here it is." You walked up to deliver him the gift while looking down at your feet, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes. He accepted the gift with a twinkle in his honeyed eye that made you blush. When he opens the package, he is greeted by a small machine. It shifted and attempted to reposition itself by walking. It turned out to be a small robot. Its head swung from side to side, allowing it to obtain a better picture of who it was staring at. It began to jump from the unexpected thrill that the machine would be serving him or that he would have a companion.

"I- ummm.. I made this little helper for you so that if you ever needed assistance, you'd have someone to talk to. It's designed to act like a human, and I hope you enjoy it because they appear to like you!" He felt warm because of your grin, which made his chest explode. Of course, he was aware of how long this would take, and he admired the amount of hard work you put in. As he returned his gaze to his now-new partner, he couldn't help but smile softly. He couldn't think of anything to say except that he was awestruck by your creation.

"Y/n....thank you so much; I promise I'll look after them." It was the only thing that sprang to mind. Of course, he wanted to say more but couldn't since he didn't want to, but even by this simple jester it still made you smile. "Have a wonderful Christmas, Viktor!" Enjoy your gift, and I'll see you again soon!"

"Wishing you a very Merry Christmas as well." And off you go, your face flushed from the unexpected thank you. He, too, was racing, and the thought of you remembering him will make him feel wonderful for the rest of his life.

'Perhaps Christmas doesn't seem all terribly unpleasant after all...' As he returned his gaze to his assistant, which you had created for him. He thought to himself how you made him change his opinion towards this holiday.

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

[let-them-read-fics]

Too Late To Apologize?

Requested By @rosiesandlilies​: “I was wondering if I can request a Rosé x female reader story where Rosie is an idol who also happens to be ur wife and since she and BP are taking over the world by storm, she starts to forget about you and whenever u ask her to spend a little bit of time with you, she gets upset and fights with you. You’re also an important person but you always make time for her. Can it be angsty with fluff 🥰”

Pairing: Rosé x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 6,026

Warnings / Misc: -- Angst, Self Doubt, Strained Marriage / Relationship, Crying, Some Swearing, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Oooooo lord, here we go. I am feeding 👏 you 👏 all 👏 today! This one took a while to write, but I’m pretty happy with it. I wrote it all in one go, starting at like 3am (as usual lol), so forgive me if it’s a little rough. I put a lot of effort into it, though, so I hope you guys enjoy. Thank you for requesting -- Happy reading!

PS ~ I highly recommend that you listen to these songs as you read this:

You Were Good To Me -- Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler

Surrender -- Natalie Taylor

The Night We Met -- Lord Huron

I Found -- Amber Run

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Hongdae, Seoul  --  8:00 PM

“Good evening, everyone! Before I open the doors, I’d like to thank each and every one of you for taking the time out of your day to stop in. We couldn’t have done this without your support, and we’re endlessly grateful. We hope you have a wonderful experience with us tonight. Now, without further ado, welcome to La Rêverie!”

To your amusement, the sizable crowd erupts into a fit of cheers once your opening speech is over. Echoes of the joyous sounds carry across the city, wiggling their way through the alleys and streets, bouncing off of the nearby buildings. The customers slowly filter in, greeting and congratulating you on their way; you’re beyond excited to start this new journey, and seeing people so happy to be a part of it only makes you more proud.

Eventually everyone makes it inside to their seats, and you join them.

--- Later That Evening ---

“Y/N, we have a private party that would like to see you. They’re eager to meet the woman behind all of this,” Pierre smirks, quirking an eyebrow suggestively. His demeanor confuses you slightly, seeing as how this isn’t the first time high profile celebrities have requested your presence -- that’s just one of the perks of being a world renowned chef. You brush off his remark as playful banter and send him to tell them that you’ll be out soon. 

---

“...yes, actually. Y/N and I were fortunate enough to meet when she was studying in Paris; we were being trained by the same chef. We’ve been close ever since. I’m not surprised that she hired me, though; I’m practically a master in the kitchen.”

At Pierre’s cocky words, your eyes nearly roll into the back of your head. A small grin plays on your lips nonetheless, and you smooth out your top one more time before rounding the corner. 

“What’s this idiot on about now? Did he tell you about the time that he nearly got kicked out of our mentorship program for giving Anthony Bourdain the wrong dish?” You ask the table, sending them a glance while ruffling his hair as you come up behind him. They all snicker at that, and it’s his turn to roll his eyes; with an annoyed shove, he scolds you for bringing that story up again.

“Must you always tell people about that?”

Your smile widens, spreading cutely across your face. Mocking him is one of your favorite things to do. “Mhm,” you say simply, nodding your head for emphasis. He attempts to hide his embarrassment, but it only brings a deeper blush to his cheeks. 

At the VIP table, the suppressed sound of laughter carries over to you, and you’re reminded of your reason for being here in the first place. Upon offering your full attention to the table now, no longer distracted by Pierre, you’re met with 4 different pairs of eyes on you. Warm, yellow light illuminates the area, the classy overhead fixture emitting a soft glow to cast down on the guests beautifully. It’s cozy and inviting, just like you had intended it to be, and the sight makes you happy.

As you quickly scan over each of the girls, your brain pieces together where you know them from.

“My oh my, it’s Blackpink themselves. To what do I owe this honor?” All of the natural charisma that you possess takes over now, doing its best to override your nerves. It’s definitely not the time to fangirl over them; you have to act cool. One by one, you shake their hands, making sure to give each of them a glimpse of your award winning smile. 

Jennie is the first to speak up. “Yourself, of course. You’re the talk of the town, Y/N, how could we miss this?” The way that she says it so casually, already skipping past the formalities, puts you at ease. 

“Ah, you’re too kind. Was your food prepared to your liking?”

A chorus of approving noises leaves the table, successfully boosting your confidence in the process. “It was truly incredible, Y/N.” Rosé gushes, her adorable accent adding something magical to the simple phrase. For the first time tonight, your mind goes blank; ever since news broke of your plans for this new restaurant, you practiced to avoid this very thing. As you stand there floundering for a beat, she takes notice of the effect that her words have on you; it doesn’t take long for her to realize how much she loves to make you blush.

“Thank you so much. We’re so glad to have you here tonight.” 

“We’re happy to be here! Rosé hasn’t stopped talking about it for the past week.” The Australian’s eyes go wide as Lisa exposes her, and she shoots the younger girl a shocked look. Lisa only smirks at this, her shoulders rising and falling in a nonchalant shrug. Jisoo nods in confirmation, adding, “Yeah, she’s been super pumped.”

On the inside, you’re freaking out. Rosé was that excited to try out your creations? There’s no logical explanation for that one. Your own surprise is evident in your voice as you respond, “Oh really now? And why’s that?”

“I-I’ve just heard a lot of great things, you know? You’re pretty talented.” She tries to sound confident, but the stutter in her voice betrays her. The tips of her ears are burning with embarrassment, and after sending her yet another smile, you decide to spare her by changing the topic. 

“Well thank you, again. It’s truly a privilege to cook for you girls.” The conversation continues from there, effortlessly moving from subject to subject, and you love how welcome they make you feel. Occasionally you excuse yourself to check on the other guests and ensure that they’re enjoying their dinner, and every time, Rosé finds herself sorely missing your presence. Despite only officially meeting tonight, she feels like she’s known you her whole life. The two of you clicked instantly, and she can’t seem to get enough of you.

After spending the better part of 2 hours chatting and getting to know one another better, you grow bold and ask the question that’s been rolling around in your head all night. 

“Would you guys like to come back to the kitchen for a bit? I could give you some tips and we could make a couple dishes, if you want.”

Rosé nearly interrupts you from how eager she is to accept the offer. The second that you’re done asking, she’s already saying yes. The others happily agree as well, and soon you’re leading them to the back to get prepped.

_________

“Just like this, everyone. Cut thinly here,” you inform, using your knife to point to the areas in question, “...then turn it and follow through with the slices. It should come out diced, like so.” The girls observed your swift motions, peeking over at the small cubes once you’re finished. Things continue on like this for a while, and soon you’re halfway done with the veggies while they’re barely done with the first part of their batches.

“Slow down, Y/N! You’re too fast for us grandmas.” Jisoo jests, her voice bouncy with amusement. 

“Okay, okay! I’ll wait, just let me know if you need help.” Your knife comes to rest against the cutting board, and you take the opportunity to lean back against the countertop to watch them work. Your eyes trail over to Rosé, only to find her already looking at you; she tenses once she realizes she’s been caught, and she returns to her previous duties. You decide to tease her.

“Everything alright, Rosé? You seem a little distracted…” She momentarily shuts her eyes at your words, trying to refocus her thoughts and collect herself. A subtle snicker from Lisa can be heard, and Rosé delivers a quick jab to her arm. The maknae lets out a little “oww” before setting her things down to rub away the newfound soreness of her arm. 

A little later, Jennie requests some assistance, prompting you to make your way over to her. The station that she’s working at just so happens to be next to Rosé’s, and you’d be lying if you said that didn’t thrill you. 

“Do we peel this first or leave it on?” 

“Cut the ends first, then slice it in half and remove the outer layer.”

Under your watchful eye, she follows your instructions and is soon back on track. She thanks you, and you bring your hand up to give her a pat on the back. Although she feels childish for it, the action works to make Rosé the tiniest bit jealous; she wants your attention on her. 

The blonde clears her throat before speaking up. “Y/N, I need a little help, too.” Your heart jumps at her words, and you fight hard to keep yourself in check as you spin around to face her.

“Of course, Rosé.” She sighs at the way her name rolls off your tongue, and she’s completely convinced that you’ve secretly put her under some type of spell. Her thoughts of you and your mysterious ways are interrupted when you come to stand next to her, your hip lightly brushing against hers. 

“Oh, well there’s your problem: you’re holding the knife wrong. Here,” you start, reaching out to reposition her hand in a better spot. Now she’ll be able to control it better, and she won’t run the risk of cutting herself.

“Better?” You ask innocently, missing the way that she bites her lip. The close proximity of your bodies is making her head spin, and she can’t decide if she wants you to stay or go. “Yes, thank you.” She looks like she wants to say something else, but she doesn’t, so you take that as your cue to go check on the other girls. Rosé silently curses herself for missing that golden opportunity to flirt with you, but she takes solace in the fact that she catches you stealing glances her way fairly often. You feel the connection too, and she’s pleased with that -- maybe she was doing something right after all.

The next stint of the night is spent preparing and cooking the dishes you promised them while trading jokes, banter, and teasing remarks. A mini food fight also took place, but for the sake of professionalism you won’t mention that. You couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day.

---- 

“Goodnight girls. I hope you come by again sometime soon!” 

They all assure you that they’ll be back before you know it, and you believe them. After all, they gobbled those dishes down like they hadn’t eaten in days -- it’s safe to say that they enjoyed them.

Rosé lingers in the doorway, eyeing you as you work to clean off the counter. She doesn’t want to go; she’s loved getting to hang out with you. Contemplating her options, she decides to be brave; she tells the girls to go on ahead, that she’ll be there in a minute. 

“Rosé, did you forget something?” You ask, looking up at her as you reach forward to wipe any remaining debris off the sleek surface.

“Yeah, your number.” Somehow, she possesses all the confidence in the world now, her new demeanor completely opposite to its previously shy counterpart. 

You tilt your head at her, a dumbfounded smile parting your lips ever so slightly. “Bold, are we? Alright, I’ll bite.” You say, holding a hand out for her to give you her phone. Her eyes widen a bit -- was she not expecting you to say yes? There’s no way you could turn down a chance like this. She fumbles around in her bag until the smooth screen of her phone comes into contact with her fingers, letting her know she’s found it.

“Here you go,” she chuckles cutely, an adorable little pattern of blush rising to her cheeks again. 

After entering your number, making sure to save the contact and even take a goofy picture of yourself for it, you give it back to her. “Call me anytime, love.” Her smile spreads even farther at the pet name, and she ducks her head to hide her reddening cheeks.

As she slowly approaches the door, walking backwards, she says, “I will… love,” offering you a little awkward salute at the end of it. You giggle at her antics, and soon bid her goodnight. 

No more than 5 minutes later, your phone dings as it displays a notification from an unknown number. 

“I’m usually not that awkward 🤦‍♀️ pretty girls just make me nervous.” The message makes your heart flutter, and you quickly save her number to your contacts. 

“Really? We have yet another thing in common, then.” 

The girls watch as Rosé does a little victory dance in her seat, her movements a bit limited by the belt stretched across her body. She’s practically glowing with excitement, her fingers already firing off another reply.

________

3 Years Later -- Rome, Italy

Upon seeing Rosé saunter down the aisle, your emotions get the jump on you; before you can stop them, tears flow freely down your face, and you bring a hand up to your mouth to quiet yourself. She looks bruisingly beautiful: the natural curves of her body are accentuated by the silky material of her dress, and her shoulders are covered in lace. An angel cast down from the heavens above. 

She smiles at the audience that’s filled with your close friends and family, offering little greetings as she passes them. Once she and her father make it to the altar, he pulls you in for a big hug, a few tears escaping his eyes. After he takes a step back, he looks between the two of you with pure pride on his face, his hand resting on your shoulder. 

The song ends, signalling for the two of you to join hands and face each other, and he returns to his seat. 

“We’re gathered here today to celebrate the joyous union of Y/N L/N and Roseanne Park. Two souls destined to find their way to one another, travelling millions of miles in the process. We come together to revel in this fact and send them into their new life together with all of our support.” The officiator says into the microphone, smiling at the two of you. You can tell he loves his job, and he’s damn good at it. 

Rosé’s grip on your hand tightens as she tries to contain her tears, but you’re quick to assure her that it’s alright. “You can cry, baby.” At your words, her lip is released from between her teeth, and her tears begin to flow. You wipe them away, stepping closer to rest your forehead against hers. 

The ceremony continues on and the two of you recite the personal vows you wrote. Somehow, unbeknownst to you, there doesn’t seem to be a limit to how much you can cry in one sitting. Rosé is having the same problem, seeing as how her makeup is smudging some as the tears wash the substances away. You don’t care though, and you make it a point to remind her of that; she’s never looked more beautiful to you.

“I do.” You choke out, beaming at her as you run your thumb across her knuckles.

“I do.” She responds, impatiently bouncing on the balls of her feet as she waits for those final words from the officiator. 

“You may now kiss the bride.” 

Her lips are on yours before he even finishes the phrase, her hand resting on the back of your neck as she pulls you in closer. Your lips move with hers in perfect time, working to seal your union in the best way possible. “I love you, forever,” she whispers against your lips. 

____

Present Day, 1:17 AM

In order to spare you from the overwhelming sadness that you’re being subjected to now, your brain takes you back to those happy times from the past. When Rosé still made time for you; when she loved you. 

Even though you hate it, you still find her in everything. The bright sunshine of the early morning reminds you of all the times she would wake you up with kisses, holding you close. The songbirds outside of your window bring to mind when you’d come home to find her at the piano, alternating between striking the keys and strumming her guitar as her beautiful voice carried out across the house. 

You miss that Rosé, so, so much. The Rosé that would call you in between sessions at the studio, if only for 5 minutes. The Rosé that longed to hear your voice after a long day; who fell into your arms the second that she shuffled through the door after practice. 

As time has passed, though, she’s seemed to fade more and more from your life; missed calls and texts have become a given, and it takes everything in you to mask your sorrow. Anyone who knows you well at all can easily see through the facade: you’re now a shell of who you once were, your normally vibrant and cheery self gone. You attempt to hide your sadness behind a smile, but it never really works out; your eyes don’t shine like they used to, and your lips don’t quite tweak up at the corners in the special way they had before. 

But you’re getting ahead of yourself again. Your reason for crying tonight is simple: for the hundredth time this month, she’s cancelled your date night plans, opting to spend the time working instead. The argument that the two of you had earlier replays in your mind:

"I don't have a choice."

Except, she did. She could choose you, choose to take a break, if only for the evening. You never ask too much of her, knowing that she can't handle even more stress competing with what she already has from the company and media. Being an idol is hard enough, and you know you can never fully wrap your head around everything that's expected of her.

Though, that makes this all the more ridiculous. All you've asked for is a couple hours of her time -- for her to relax with you and get away from it all. Earlier that day you had gone to the store and picked up all the necessary materials to treat her to a little spa day, complete with bath and body oils, face masks, and even some bath bombs. 

"Asking my wife to spend an evening with me is not unreasonable, Rosé."

"I'm not having this argument again, Y/N. I get enough shit from everyone else; I don't need any extra from you."

Maybe it was something in how she said it, so final and hateful, her face coming to rest in a scowl. Her arms were crossed as she stood in front of you, and you could see the muscles in her jaw clench and release repeatedly. In some twisted way, part of you was glad to have this encounter; it hurt like hell, but at least she was paying attention to you. She hadn't looked at you for this long in a while.

Before you can even get another word out, she sighs, saying, "I don't have time for this. I have to go back to the studio." 

Just as she turns to go, you catch her wrist. With a slightly annoyed look, she turns to face you.

"If you walk out that door then I'm leaving; at least for the night. We need to talk about this, but if you don't care enough to even give me that, then…" you trail off, tilting your head slightly. You want her to apologize, to say how wrong she's been for doing all of this to you -- but she doesn't. Her expression is tired, irritation written plainly for you to see. She pulls her arm away, offering a petty, "Oh well," with a shrug before exiting the house. 

How could she be so cold? Maybe that's what hurt the most. Seeing the love of your life turn into someone completely different than who you fell for stung more than any argument ever could. The reality is that she's not the same person anymore. Accepting that would be half of the battle in and of itself. 

Your heart is betraying itself, stuck in a sticky situation: you're constantly struggling between your love for her and the respect you hold for yourself. Half of you wants to stay, to make her listen and fight for this; but the other half of you, perhaps the more rational side, knows that that won't work now. You've tried that already, you reason with yourself, racking your brain for any new way to get through to her. 

Sometimes it's like she forgets all of the sacrifices you make for the relationship. Despite having your own busy schedule to deal with, you always make time for her. So why could she never do the same for you?

It's obvious that in its current state, this relationship is only wrecking your mental health -- a testament to that is every night you've spent lying awake, sobbing into your pillow as your list of insecurities grows longer and longer. She used to be the person you'd run to when negative thoughts plagued your mind, her sweet words of love showing how much she valued you. But all of that's gone now, leaving you with a shattered heart and racing mind. When had you stopped being enough?

~~~~~~~

It’s late, well past 4AM when Rosé manages to make it home. Practice absolutely wrecked her today, leaving her body exhausted from dancing and throat sore from all the singing she had to do. She’s more than ready to collapse into bed and pass out. 

One thing that always stayed the same was your sleeping arrangement. No matter how much Rosé hurt you, you still slept in the same bed. Her subconscious was always kinder to you than she was, anyway; the two of you would cuddle in close like before, her arms wrapped around you as she slept peacefully. No arguments or yelling, you could always count on the nights to heal your heart a little bit. 

As she enters the empty bedroom, the memory of your argument from earlier that day comes flooding back. She remembers that you said you were leaving, but part of her didn't fully believe you. She should've known better -- you always keep your word. Guilt washes over her, and she gently taps her head against the wall as a sort of self-punishment for her previous actions. Why did she say that to you? The hurt look in your eyes broke her heart, but she couldn’t afford to skip practice, especially with the comeback quickly approaching. In retrospect, she should’ve just told you that she didn’t feel prepared, and that’s why this practice had been so important. Even though she doesn’t show it, you still mean the world to her. She just so happens to be her own worst enemy. 

With a heavy sigh, she makes her way to the bathroom; there she finds a cute little basket of goodies next to the tub, and a note on the counter of the sink. She approaches the basket first, quickly discovering that it holds some of her favorite self-care items from the local store. Yet again, a deep pang of guilt courses through her upon realizing that you had prepared that for her. Defeated, she picks up the note. 

Roseanne,

If you’re reading this, then I’ve already left. I don’t want you to worry, if you even still care enough to do that, so I decided to leave this letter for you. I’ll be staying with my friend for the next while. I don’t know how long, but that depends entirely on you. I’ve tried to communicate with you, but we’re getting nowhere; we both know it. We’re not who we used to be, Rosé, and I hate that. I want us to be happy again, but it seems that I can’t do that for you. If you want to end things, let me know. 

- Y/N

Rosé’s heart is breaking, splintering into a million different pieces and leaving her with no possible way to collect them all. How had she so royally fucked this up? She only has herself to blame, and she knows that; she can’t believe that she let things get like this. She had been so blinded by the stress that she lost sight of the most important thing in her life: you. It’s slowly sinking in that she very well might lose you for good this time, and she doesn’t know how to cope with that. She can survive without her career, but she knows she can’t go on without you.

-----  La Rêverie, 2 Weeks Later -----

She only intended to walk by -- to see if you were there and safe. But as she gazes through the windows, peeking into the place that houses so many of her dearest memories, she’s transfixed. Her eyes land on you, finding you hard at work in the kitchen. It’s always been where you go when you’re stressed or upset about something -- two things that Rosé knows she’s the cause of.

You’re in your element, face donning a look of pure concentration as you prepare what she assumes is a new dish. Your hair’s in a bun, a few strands coming down to fall around your face as you move about. Gravity takes its time in gently coaxing them out of the tie's hold, and Rosé’s breath hitches at how beautiful you look; it’s as if she’s falling for you all over again. She’s always admired your skills, but they hold a whole new meaning now, an unspoken tension in every movement you make. 

How had she been so selfish? You had been there for her all along, waiting patiently for the day that she would come to her senses. You would always have dinner ready -- usually one of her favorites, hoping that would spark something again -- but she always brushed you off. She never stayed long enough to see the crushed look on your face, or how the pain was becoming clearer and clearer by the day. She realizes now just how much of a toll her actions have taken on the both of you; you're still just as breathtaking as ever to her, but that special sparkle in your eye has long been eclipsed by something more dull. You're tired of being let down repeatedly, stuck in a constant loop of excuses and avoidance, and Rosé can't blame you for a second.  

The time apart hasn't been kind to her at all; there hasn't been a single day that's gone by where you haven't consumed her thoughts. She misses you so badly it hurts, and even now, despite being so close to you, separated only by the walls of the restaurant, you've never been further away. 

The distant sound of a car alarm cuts through the silence, simultaneously scaring her and drawing your attention. Before you can spot her, she ducks down; there’s no way that she can face you yet. Taking this as a sign, she decides to leave.

She’s spent the past 2 weeks attempting to spare you by not coming around; she thinks you need time away from her to deal with everything she’s put you through, and she doesn’t want to upset you anymore than she already has. Ever-torn, part of you is glad that she’s stayed away; however, another part of you just wants to see her again. You miss the nights more than you thought you would. 

--- A Few Days Later ---

Steady sheets of rain pound harshly against the window, vibrating the latches with each gust of wind. Times like these are always the worst, especially when you don’t have Rosé to calm you down. Violent thunderstorms never fail to frighten you, and this one in particular seems like it’ll be the worst one of the season. Swiftly padding over to the window, you sneak a quick peek outside, only to find the branches of the large oak tree that occupies the yard swaying in the wind with reckless abandon. The sight terrifies you, but you do your best to keep yourself from panicking, even having to do some breathing exercises. Your friend can sleep through anything, and you know she needs the rest; so, you stay in the spare bedroom that she’s so graciously allowing you to reside in, and lie awake. 

Across the city, Rosé is tossing and turning. The storm hasn’t fully reached its peak there yet, but she knows how worried you must be. Tears spring to her eyes at the thought of you huddled up under the covers, body trembling in fear as the storm rages on. The deep-rooted shame that she’s grown so accustomed to since you left plagues her conscience, making her even more disgusted with herself. 

After turning over yet again, her eyes land on the picture she has of the two of you propped up on the nightstand. It was taken on your wedding day, that stunning view of the venue paling in comparison to your beauty. A sense of determination washes over her -- determination to make you that happy again someday, in whatever way she can -- and she gets out of bed to collect a few materials. She’ll do whatever it takes.

----

The sound of a car door slamming perks your ears up, and your curiosity gets the better of you. Quickly pulling the curtain back, you’re beyond shocked to see Rosé out there, holding something in her hand. Just as you lean in closer to the window to try and see what it is, her caller ID pops up on your phone. 

“Come downstairs, please.” 

Even with the vast array of emotions coursing through you at the moment, you’re only focused on getting her inside and out of harm’s way. 

You nearly knock the door off its hinges with how quickly you snap it open. To your surprise, she’s still standing by her car, but now you can see what she was holding before; a white sign with black writing on it. The words are barely legible with how much it's raining, the dye of the marker horribly smudged, but you can make out: “I’m sorry! I’m an idiot.” It’s like something out of romantic drama.

Before you can even comment on everything that’s happening, Rosé begins the speech that she’s been trying to piece together ever since you left. 

She has to raise her voice so you can hear her over the storm. You wonder why she doesn’t just come in, but you think that maybe she’s doing it to show you that she’s willing to punish herself by standing out in the elements. “No words that I say will ever be able to fix the pain that my actions caused. You don’t deserve any of the shit I put you through, and I hate myself for being such a coward. I was too immature to look past my own struggles and just talk to you about them.” 

Now, she takes a few cautious steps towards the front door, testing the waters as she scans your face to gauge how you’re feeling. “I guess I just thought I could deal with it like I always do. But losing you showed me how wrong I was; I love you so much, Y/N. I don’t want to end things; I’ll never want that. You’re my world, baby; I’m so sorry that it took me this long to see what was right in front of me.” 

How are you to respond to that? Can you trust her? She looks more sincere in this moment than she has in a long time, and that puts you a little more at ease. Her eyes are begging -- pleading -- with you to believe her, and after a moment you step to the side, wordlessly telling her to come in. You don’t even realize that you’re crying until a few stray tears drip onto your shirt, leaving little marks in their wake. She has to restrain herself from reaching out and wiping them away; she has no idea when -- or if -- you’ll be able to forgive her. 

Soft pitter-patter of the water running off of her coat echoes lightly across the foyer, serving as white noise for the conversation you’re having. Her sniffles work in tandem with it, and she bites back her sobs in order to get the words out. 

“I know this won’t be fixed overnight, but I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you’ll let me. I won’t blame you for a second if you can’t forgive me, either. I just couldn’t let you get away without a fight.”

With each new fresh batch of tears that settle in your eyes, you have to work twice as hard to blink them away. “I-I don’t know what to say, Rose. You’re the only person in this world capable of hurting me that badly, because you mean more to me than anyone else. But I never thought you’d treat me like that. Do you know how many times I doubted myself, thinking I did something wrong?” Your tone is bitter now, voice conveying the pain from those months of anguish that you had to endure, and Rosé hangs her head. 

“I know that now, Y/N, and I know that I can never take it back. But God, how I wish I could. I’d do anything in my power to take that pain away. It was never your fault; none of it was.”

You know she’s being honest. After seeing the opposite for so long, it’s easy to spot when she’s telling the truth. You nod a couple times, deciding to pull her in for a long-overdue hug. She’s motionless at first, not quite knowing if you want her to return it or not, but the second that you quietly say, “Hold me, Rosé,” she’s scooping you up in her arms like her life depends on it. Her head rests in the crook of your neck, and the two of you cry together, letting all of the pent up frustration and sadness leave your bodies. 

After standing there, embracing one another for who knows how long, she pulls away just enough to look into your eyes. Her gaze subtly falls to your lips, but you don’t fail to notice. “Can I?” She asks gently, raising her eyes back up to yours. “Yes.” You utter, nearly swooning as her soft lips brush against your own. You’ve missed them. 

Her chilled hands cup your cheeks with purpose, and you can feel water running off the ends of her hair and onto your chest.

She kisses you in such a poetic way: softly, as if you might break at any moment, but urgently, like a lost soldier finally returning to the arms of their lover. She wants to make you feel how sorry she is, how much she loves you, and this seems like the perfect place to start.

“I love you, jerk,” you say through your tears, brushing your thumb along her cheek as you look into her eyes.

“And I love you, angel.” She picks you up, spinning you around a couple of times before setting you back down on your feet. 

After a moment, you glace at the window. “Shhhh, wait. Do you hear that?”

She cocks her head to the side as she listens closely for any potential noise that you might be talking about, but she hears nothing. “No? I don’t hear anything…” 

“Exactly; the rain stopped.”

“Huh. I guess it did its job, then.” She smiles, silently thanking the universe for working in its wonderful ways. It brought the two of you back to one another, and neither of you can contain your happiness. Maybe you don’t hate storms as much after all...

[moonchildsaurora]

Pyx Logbook #311220

s t a t u s: over the moon

UM... firstly hello hi, I’m still alive ━ how are all you lovely angels doing?

SECONDLY 😳😳😳 WE’VE SURVIVED THIS CURSED YEAR OF 2020! And what better way for me to end on a milestone note, I’m still processing this and I don’t really have the words right now to really say a huge THANK YOU to each and every person who’s visited my ghost town of a blog, left encouraging notes, read my works, have mini convos and just have been very supporting & welcoming when I first started on here. 

A few shout-outs to the few who have grown to be really precious to me during my almost 1-year stay here:

♔ @hereisleo - oh how far we’ve come my dearest Wildflower, ngl but one of the reasons why I contemplating making a proper writing blog in the first place was so I could come off anon (after how many months of chatting to you via that) hahahaha. You know this but I’ll say it again, not a day goes by as to how thankful I am for you to give me the time of your day back then just to chat and also thank you for e x i s t i n g!! Your writing has inspired me to the moon and back and reminded me how delightful it was like to get lost in fiction once more. You’ve made my world that much more colourful and safe to say I’ve found yet another soulmate of mine. . .and that’s none other than you 💜   ♚ @monbae - coming back on here just in the nick of time for me to write a sappy few words to thank you for being one of my first few writer friends whom I have a lot of love for 😁 you’ve been supporting me since the start and I’m so glad that we can talk about anything and everything other than just kpop/fic writing. Thank you for always sharing with me me insights into your little world and for reminding me how valued I am!

♔ @barsformars - though we do not talk frequently, but when we do I’ve always enjoyed our quality chats. And you are one of a few fic writers whom I look up to a lot and your writing never fails to put a smile on my face after reading it. I’ve seen your blog grow whilst being one of your annonies from before and I’m so proud of how far you’ve come as well 🥺

�� @felixity - Kiraaaaaa my fave staytiny angel, I’m super glad we got to know each other better over the last few months especially. Chatting to you is always a joy and I love learning bout how things are like over your side of the globe. I wish you all the happiness in the new year and I’m so proud of how you’ve been tackling your studies/achievements too!! I hope one day we get to cross paths and I can thank you in person properly 💕

♔ @queen-of-himbos @daybreakx @thelargefrye @masterninjacow @not-majestic-bluenicorn - please know that whilst we don’t talk much, I look up a lot to you guys as well and have very high admiration for your writings/works. Thank you for creating such wonderful worlds for me and my one braincell to get invested in, be it to sob or drop uwus over characters/plotlines. And to those who have tagged me in fun tag games or read my works/gave encouraging support. . . .I love love love you as much as Yeosang loves chicken 💖

♚ @delphinium3000 @minginwonderland @aroacearcheralec @fairyofdusk - all of whom I remember having really wholesome convos with and thank you for the very intellectual discussions plus being wonderful moots in general. Thank you most of all for being so patient with my hermit ass and I’ll try to better my reply time in the new year. . .just be less of a ghost really hahahaha. But seriously tho, thanks for making me feel warm and fluffy!!

♔ @seiiblue - gonna make this short and sweet but I will forever remember you sending me that one message about how Hwa’s prince ASMR vid reminded you of my Prince!Seonghwa fic and it honestly made my year reading that message. Thank you for making me feel that good with the sweet words you took the time to write out and here’s to many more convos about tatts & anime in the new year 💗   

♚ @yunhoiseyecandy​ - someone whom I’d like to interact with a lot more in the new year because you seem like a fun moot. And thank you thank you thank youuuu again for giving my Lacuna series works a lot of hype and I’m always grateful to hear your thoughts/feedback by the end of each piece 💞  

here’s to Pyx being less of a ghost in 2021, writing more + better pieces and learning that no matter what so long as I feel good at my own creations and I know that I’ve got supportive friends surrounding me, that’s all that matters (and to have fun of course).

stay safe & HAPPY NEW YEAR LOVES 💙 logging off ━━━☆

[madfantasy]

hii! sorry if you've answered this before, but how did you find your own art style? it's nothing like i've seen before, very dream-like (: i feel like with so many artists out there it can be hard to find one's own style but yours is truly unique. if it's not too much to ask, do you still have any of your first drawings? thank you 💕💕

(Oh & I'm sorry if I have answered it before, I didn't find anything on my blog so woop here comes my blaber)

Hello dear!

Thank you so much, you flatter me and my bit-som of art-som, heh. Specially that you have called it dream like— cuz 1/4 of my creations does come from my dreams. I even had a dream about Severus a couple of days ago- was explaining to him the concept of gestures in smartphones, I told him it's like pulling down a scroll, to get the notifications, lol.

Before I start side-tracking too much, yes- I can't say I do know how it happens, I guess I wasn't on the base of looking for an art style for myself, or ever considered myself an artist— or a real one? Idk. The idea of having an 'art style' doesn't register with me so I'm possibly always confused what to make of it.

I mean, I didn't go into art for art's sake. I don't enjoy beauty just for beauty's sake. It has to have a meaning, purpose, hidden dilemma you need to solve just by looking deeper; is it speaking to me, or am I speaking for it?

My only concern since the beginning of time of Mani apparating this earth and what got them into drawing anyway is: telling the story as best as possible.

I was drawing before I learned speaking. It was my instinctive language. I had something to say? Illustrated it on a piece of paper to show.

Everything I see in my surroundings or mostly in mind, I had a story to tell about. So I didn't even consider that I was making art.

I remember when I developed enough cells to be aware- I started trying to copy or capture the basics of family members, making stories about them, also games or shows I played; I drew Crash bandicoot, driving into a cliff because he was hated by his family, Tiny wearing an abaya. Pink panther cuz how tall he was weirded me out in a fascinating way, Tarzan and his special muscles, a story about an abused squid lady that eventually turn into a mermaid, a guy turning into a hero coz of some near death experience.. mmm stories about my favourite stuffed rabbit CeCe Bobo— probably the only innocent adventures I drew as a child— I wanted so badly to make them into a video game, having their parents fall into a pit of flames, heh.

And because I had daily TV episodes in my brain of whatever to occupy me from unsanitary real life; I associated with many people I love to see materlized; my characters. So I had to try & draw them exactly how they look/feel, and that's what my art slowly developed based on; is this guy the way I seen and felt him look like? If not, try other ways.

At first, I drew them with literal basic shapes, like a character would have a square face, and another heart, and if I couldn't draw circle, I used my pencil sharpener that was shaped as a circle. A method still I use to differentiate my characters (without the pencil sharpener lol)

Later, since my characters have generally my favourite things, or things I enjoy, things I appreciate— basically things from me directly or from my choices, conscious they were or not—had them chopped and scattered between the lot of them. And to learn how to do some favourite factors of them is what drives my art style I suppose. I knew I didn't want it realistic, but I also didn't want it unreal. What makes art real? That's probably the always questions I face.

Ofc, I was face with so many problems to deteriorate my passion for drawing. Like, not being allowed to draw in the first place. I had wait till everyone is gone or occupied, had to always look over my shoulder and must constantly hide every inkling of any art making, and act like the project I'm making is for school, and draw in breakfast breaks at school. I used to draw under my blanket and store my art between my books or under my pillow (never related to anything so hard like when Harry was studying magic and Dursley keeps checking on him, honestly heh). Either all that or I get the whip.

Or being told what's the point of having a style like that while everybody obviously enjoys popular styles like anime or cartoon? Why don't I draw like the popular to get noticed? I don't know how to draw anime or cartoon even if I tried. It will just show as my art style, no? Exactly like speaking two different languages with the same letters.

Or like the idea of strictly sticking to gendering things while the idea never occurred to me. The base line of how men has to be ugly and women pretty. My motto is showing beauty in everything, even in scary or messed up things hehe. But I had to consent to making my guys 'ugly' as possible to continue drawing, and if u notice a line on their throats, that's one other thing I had to do, wasn’t allowed to draw girls either. And I wasn't happy with any of that at all.

But I was able to win my right to draw anytime I like in recent years, and able to draw how I like how I use digital means. So it got better heh.

And no it's not too much, if anything, it was took me on a dusty beautiful trip of nostalgia, I thank you for it. Sadly I don't have my first drawings, and I do treasure them but they all been tossed, torn and burned before me over the years, heh.

The oldest thing I got is this, a comic made, was 11 years old I think:

Medo, a guy so beautiful that he was forced to work as a femal model, concept that felt the best to me, heh. Even tho I was in no contact with the outsider world.

He is my first solid character and I made endless comics of him.

He's develop into this -dated 2014- , he's fairy sentinel.

And I found few of my old or first time drawing them pics of the main characters in my stories, I'd love to share:

Juicy and X-bi— second ones I made. But these drawings are maybe 2 or 3 years after I made them

I know I said that lots, but x-bi was a mask wearing imaginary friend I translated into X-bi. He has almost always cold hands so I used to put my skin on cold metallic surface and imagine it his hands trying to ease the pain.

And since I had no audience home, my stuff showed at school as i drew alone, always with various replies of 'its good, but'

Juicy got me in trouble with a teacher, by a careless student that was browsing my drawings In front of them, and I was classified as mentally deranged and need help for not drawing the usual princes and white knight.

Fernando and Carlos are also old characters that expressed romance in everything they do, so when I had a drawing of them Carlos tending to a fevered Ferry, and it was snatched from me, everyone considering it intimacy and I had to punch my way through them to get it back. Being called perverted and sick in the process, even tho all they talk to me about is marriage and the process of making babies. One of them literally told me on random occasion that their heart was like a ten story building for rent, there's always someone new in and out.

Carlos is Fernando's soul guardian💛

I created General Pumbkin in school! expressing fashion in strictness with my fav hooked nose!

Axel was my joy in everything, and the most common character I got beat up for, for being girly. I don't draw him too much anymore but seeing him again made me auto happy , hes all about giving loff, darling hehe

Candy, a less brain developed babyy

Brain and Pain, my sibs fav characters from my bag, heh

And Sabine was said to me that he should be a girl to be that scared in a scary story, his story is like dark and twisted fairytales vibe that I love dearly. I'm trying to continue writing his story.

Despite whatever, I love doing art, I have to. It what gives me soul juice heh.

And thank you for sticking on my prolonged answer. I hope I didn't bore too much, I'm flooded with memories happy and bad, and they are all okay. It made me feel passionate again, so thank you for the opportunity 🙏

1.5.2020

[keatsblue]

Want a Piece of Me?! - a Kiribaku Baking AU fic, pre-slash.

*** 

It was something he’d picked up from his mother, before she’d gotten too sick.

She’d let him roll out flour-dusted dough into thinned sheets, let him taste a batter mix or two on the tip of her spoon. Whenever he was tasked with packing the buttercream, he’d unerringly return to her with a dollop of icing on the end of his nose. She’d let out a laugh like windchimes as she wiped his face off with a multi-stained washcloth, would murmur, warm against the skin of his cheek as she kissed it—did my little dragon get greedy for some sugar again? Well, here’s some sugar!

Kirishima was her little dragon, and she’d made sure his early life was filled with candied nights and warm bellies, gingerbread castles with marshmallow spires.

After she passed, he kept it up to feel close to her.

He was far from an expert baker, but he knew his way around an oven. His hands were large and not the most suited to handling delicate fondant, but he managed. His arms were strong, good for hefting bags of fresh ingredients.

Pineapple upside-down. Triple-tiered, Italian wedding crème. Chocolate lavender truffles, topping his signature cherry cordial mousse. Delicate macaroons and finicky meringues, mirror glazes so seamless he could see his reflection. Kirishima baked his way through the entire grieving process, inviting his closest friends over for tastings, and he won.

I’m okay, mom.

He wasn’t certain when it had really started, this online business. Mina had actually made the first post, snapped the first photo. He hadn’t expected it to get a single comment.

It got hundreds. Then thousands.

People contacted him, wanting to know how they could make their own cakes look like that.

Kirishima obliged, of course. How could he not? He was going to bake anyway. Might as well help a few other amateur chefs while he was at it!

Mina helped him film. “I discovered you, so I’m your manager for life,” she’d say, with a wink. “Don’t forget about me when you make it big and become a world-famous baker, somewhere.”

World-famous, my ass, he always thought, whenever she’d suggest such a thing. He still made far too many mistakes, for that.

It was okay, most of the time. Many of the people who followed his little baking ‘show’ were more than understanding, and incredibly supportive. When he read their kind comments, it gave him a warm, fluttery kind of feeling—almost like one of his mother’s secure hugs.

There were always those few, though.

He was just getting off the rickety bus that stopped near his neighborhood when he saw it. He almost missed the last step on his way down, stumbling for a few paces as the telltale sound of a screen door sliding shut behind him signaled the bus’s departure.

However, Kirishima wasn’t paying attention to any of that. Instead, his eyes were glued to the screen of his phone, where he’d just called up his latest baking stream.

xxxx: ur cakes suck a**

He frowned down at the comment, checking the timestamp. So, it was just posted a few minutes ago.

Huh.

It was obviously a troll, no doubt about it. They didn’t even have a profile picture to go with the nondescript name. And usually, usually, Kirishima would just let comments like that slide right off his shoulders.

But he’d had a bad day. And it was funny, how something so small could pierce his heart sometimes, a sharp spear to the mighty dragon’s soft underbelly.

It was safe to say, making his way up the rusted-out stairwell to his college-budget apartment took a little more energy than usual. He jammed his key into the lock with punishing force, twisted.

The door swung upon under his palms, and the familiar scent of his home wafted toward him, riding along the sudden gust of warm air escaping. Kirishima was careful to shut the door quickly, before too much of the heat was let out. Breathed in the fruit-sweet smell from his kitchen, so if nothing else, the familiarity of it could ease his scattered mind.

His phone chimed, before he could get too relaxed. When he checked the message ID, though, he couldn’t help but smile.

alienqueen: ughhhhh I hate this asshole already

alienqueen: obviously, he’s never tasted 1 of kiri’s cakes

ducktapes: kiri’s cakes <3 ahhhh my heart

sparksmcgee: dude same, want me 2 get sweet vengeance?

As soon as Kirishima’s smile had appeared, it vanished. He frantically opened the chat, his thumbs too large to type with the speed he needed.

There was no way to tell if Denki was serious. And his friend could do it, too—every day, Kirishima thanked his lucky stars he was on the excitable hacker’s good side.

kiricakes: no need!! it’s just a troll, guys

kiricakes: super manly of you to think of me, though

sparksmcgee: ur too nice, fams

sparkmcgee: guess the troll lives… for now

ducktapes: TROLL IN THE DUNGEON! THERE’S A-

alienqueen: aksnfkasnof

kiricakes: lolllllll

Before long, he was able to lose himself in mindless chatter. The antics of his friends never failed to bring his spirits up. He plugged his phone into one of the few outlets in his crummy apartment, embedded into the wall just over the kitchen counter, so he could continue the conversation even as his battery started to wane.

The hours grew long, though, and time was scarce mid-week for exhausted, assignment-laden college kids. It wasn’t a surprise when Denki soon begged off on some coding or another that he had to re-run, or when Sero and Mina similarly slipped away (they were researching something together for Comparative Physiology, it was all very much over Kirishima’s head). In the end, he was left with only his thoughts, and an empty kitchen.

He locked his phone, and the screen went dark. He could see his reflection in it, baggy eyes and downturned lips. A shock of red hair, which had once been midnight-black.

Like his mother’s.

Kirishima turned his head. In the low light, his appliances gleamed from their shelves. Almost mocking, in a way.

“My cakes don’t suck,” he said, to no one. His grin stretched wide, and he could tell from the burn of it that he was showing far too many of his sharpened teeth. “I’ll prove it to you.”

He set his phone to record, and made another cake. It was triple-tiered, funfetti, because that was the batter mix he had on-hand. He watched the batter rise within his dented iron pans with all the patience of a general considering the battlements—or perhaps, a dragon considering its’ hoard.

Any spare buttercream was packed into a dispensary, silken and primed to hold his creation together. He spliced it evenly between his cakes with a practiced ease, layer after layer.

Then, the whipped frosting. It was a simple recipe, one of the first he’d learned. He worked the whipping cream within a chilled bowl, adding scoop upon scoop of powdered sugar until the mixture obediently began to rise, forming soft peaks.

He made several batches, and then added some orange food coloring to each.

Fuck it. I’m in an orange sort of mood.

His second favorite color, after red.

All that remained was assembly.

… throughout the process, he talked.

Kirishima didn’t typically make a habit of speaking while he baked. He certainly didn’t speak while he recorded, but this—this was a special occasion. Soon, he found himself opening up in front of the camera like never before. He spoke of his mother, briefly. Of his love of baking, and how much he didn’t want to lose that little piece of her he had left.

It was all he had left.

The whipped frosting went on like a dream for him, a smooth and even ombre that when he finished, reminded Kirishima just a bit of an orange sunset. It was soothing, and right, and exactly what he needed.

He didn’t think much of posting the video, largely unedited, to his public account. His was still a small corner of the internet, after all—a solitary baking channel in a sea of thousands. Maybe even millions. How many people would even see it, really?

“Oh, and by the way, can you guys stop saying my cakes look like shit?”

It was only one cake.

With great effort, Kirishima stumbled his way to his bedroom. He hadn’t realized how tired he was, how much all that time in the kitchen had taken out of him.

Before his head even hit the pillow, he was out.

He dreamed of his mother’s sweets, and orange.

***

sparksmcgee: dude wake up

sparksmcgee: wake uppppp

sparksmcgee: KIRI

sparksmcgee: KIRI U GOTTA SEE THIS

sparksmcgee: KIRIIIII

sparksmcgee: fine, ignore me, Mr. Internet Sensation

sparksmcgee: wait I was joking, I was joking!

sparksmcgee: I’ll call u! I’ll do it!!

sparksmcgee: damn it kiri

sparksmcgee: just watch the fuckin’ video

sparksmcgee: https://twitter.com/Simplemachines_/status/1297739774795509761

***

Kirishima groaned, slamming a fist down on top of the source of that incessant beeping. It was too early in the morning for such ear-splitting noise.

But what was done couldn’t be undone. He was awake now, for better or worse.

He cracked one eye open, squinting against the bright blue light of his phone screen. Still bleary-eyed, he scrolled through all of Denki’s messages (seriously, man?) and pressed a thumb over the hyperlink his friend sent. It was probably just some dumb meme—

Wait. Wait.

That was his cake video from last night. And… that wasn’t all.

Some blond guy with an angry face took up the other half of the split screen, but he wasn’t doing anything. He seemed to be waiting for something.

Kirishima blinked. A… reaction video…?

He heard himself begin to speak, to layer the buttercream. Internally, he cringed.

Well. In his defense, he had been having one of those days—

He almost dropped his phone when the blond guy yelled at the top of his lungs.

“WHO WAS MEAN TO YOU?!”

Huh? Was this guy speaking… in Kirishima’s defense?

“WHO SAID YOUR CAKES LOOK LIKE SHIT?! POINT ‘EM OUT!”

Slathering on his nice, ombre whipped frosting, now. The blond guy (who was kinda cute, actually, even with his angry face) continued to watch and listen with rapt attention, occasionally letting out another unholy screech.

The video progressed to the part where Kirishima had begun describing his day, and really, he could’ve kicked himself. It’d just been a math test. He’d been excited at the time, because he’d gotten his grade back and hadn’t completely failed it, but now, he wondered. Who would want to listen to such inane, boring—

“YES! I’M SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU, SHITTY HAIR!”

Shitty hair? Inadvertently, he felt the hand that wasn’t currently occupied supporting his phone drift up toward his hairline. He knew he applied a lot of gel, spiked it up on purpose. Surely it didn’t look that bad.

But even with that last comment, the guy had said a lot of nice things. And how manly, to post such a wholesome reaction video, where all the world could see?

His phone beeped again as a message banner flashed across the top of the screen. He opened it with a flick of his finger.

It seemed this time, Denki had messaged in the group chat. He didn’t have long to wonder whether his other friends had seen the video, either, messages were fired at rapid speed.

sparksmcgee: did you see it?!?? I found the guy! Your dream man!

sparksmcgee: his name is **drumroll**

kiricakes: denki, no

ducktapes: denki, YES

sparksmcgee: BAKUGOU KATSUKI, HE’S FROM JAPAN

alienqueen: Kiri go get your mans!!

sparksmcgee: if you want I can also get his credit card

kiricakes: DENKI NO

Bakugou Katsuki. Huh.

As his friends continued to bicker amongst themselves, Kirishima stretched out his limbs. He let out a soft sigh when his shoulders popped, already considering what he would bake himself for breakfast.

Maybe he’d have a slice of orange funfetti. And perhaps as he did, his mind would drift to an angry fan.

One he hoped to meet, someday.

[briteboy]

(circumstantial name by @earnoodle)

IT’S FINALLY TIME FOR THE POST YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR (or maybe just that one anon)

there’s a LOT in here, newer questions are generally first so if you asked something a while ago and you’re only interested in that, scroll towards the bottom. also doing wcifs separately (errr i’m gonna try my hardest to ok don’t crucify me)

this mass anons post includes topics ranging from Very Sweet Things Said To Me That I Don’t Deserve, nitpicking stranger things, crying over ramona, lou theories, Cillian Is A Fucking Creep theories (true), and completely unhelpful reshade advice

let’s f0cking do this

You're right, apart from carrying his stupid brain, Santi's head didn't do anything to any of us. I apologize for anon.

I'm pretty sure I said that already but I love Rooney and Santi's relationship so much I literally have no words for it

ME TOO LIKE IT’S JUST SO PURE TWO NOT-KIDS SCARED OF THE ADULT WORLD TRYING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT WITH THEIR WEIRD BRAINS TOGETHER ;__; i love them

YO i didnt know u were a demigirl!! im a demiboy nb Buddies

hell fuckin yeah dude!! we are starting a demi club

Ok but like I really want werewolves. Like I know it sounds stupid but we have vampire and while yes I love my bat babes, I want a giant pupper friend. I have story written out and plans for a cabin to build. Now I’m waiting for EA to give me my big hairy babes.

DUDE i want more supernatural stuff too, mostly witches like I NEED MY WITCHES AGAIN!!! ts3 witches were so good. i didn’t like ts3 werewolves much but i feel like they’d be super cool in ts4, knowing how the vampires came out. i NEED it

hihi! i've been very quietly (??) following your blog for some time now and i just fawn over your characters way too much ?? anywho, i've been wanting to start my own little simblr story but ,, i'm not entirely sure where to even start? i have so many stories that i'd love to get out there, and i have the means.. butt, how did you go about starting out?? so sorry this is so long but i look up to you a whole ton!!! ty ily! :-)

i’m the (??) lmao that’s me always but ahdhghdfkshg thank you so much!!!!! i’m so glad you love them, it means the world to me ;-; and listen, that was me, i had no idea how i was going to do it because i’d only seen ts3 stories up to that point and i thought there was like a set Way to tell stories but i had no idea what i was doing so i was like y’know what...i’m just gonna do it how i feel comfortable doing it and i’m gonna figure it out as i go along. so honestly try to roughly plan out what your stor(ies) will entail and if you get stuck on planning and can’t figure it out, just jump right into it, try to make a few scenes or get the ball rolling somehow, even if it’s just random posts (i mean that’s all my blog was until i decided to commit to santi’s story.) it’s always gonna feel weird and awkward at first, but you’ll get comfortable the more you do it and it’ll figure itself out, trust me!

I read through most of your story posts the other day and now I’m rereading it again just to torture myself some more (and maybe catch up on some posts I may have missed). I honestly don’t think I’ve come across a sims story that’s so beautifully written & includes such evocative pictures as yours. I’m really at a loss for words, it’s all so stunning. & after a nearly two-month long creative block, it’s planted the smallest seed of inspiration in the back of my mind, so thank you for your art.

AHHHH AHSDHKGKDSJG WHAT!!!!! it’s always crazy hearing that 1) people actually care about my stuff, and 2) that it inspires them. like i really cannot believe that, stilL!! thank you so so much, i’m so happy you enjoyed it (as torturous as it was, lmao) it seriously warms my heart that you’re getting your groove back in the creative world, that means more to me than ANYTHING!! good luck with your art or whatever you decide to do with that inspiration!

 can i pls have your editing skill please and thank you

i owe most my editing at this point to reshade so honestly get reshade and u will probably become better than me

o added u on animal crossing and when you added me back i was so happy,, your little person is sooo adorable ((:

OMG!! thank you!! everyone’s person on there is adorable i cry i love them all so much i’m so mad tho it won’t let me add any more friends!!! it probably cuts off at like 100 friends or something STUPID

First of all, I love you. Secondly, I love your photos so much. I'm legit about to just ditch sims 3 for 4 now because of your amazing posts. 😖

LMFAO no but really THANK YOU I LOVE YOU!!! if you can manage playing both i admire u, i’ve invested too much time and effort into ts4 to ever fully go back to any other sims games tbh

The new patch made my game unplayable! I'm crying, I miss my doggos...

NOOOOO!!! hopefully by now you’ve found a fix, i’m prayin for u

long time listener, first time caller yoooo. i like everyone love your stories and your sim aesthetic so so so much and just tbh i was offended on your behalf about that ask from that person wanting to novelize your stories. like you were way too nice. this is your intellectual property and it's fucked up that someone would think it'd be okay to duplicate it as long as they used a different medium. this is prob a bad one to repost just wanted to you to know you're an awesome, singular voice

omfg lmao this is a radio show now *z100 voice* tellem why ya mad euhhh first of all i can’t believe someone even ASKED that, i’m in shock because like what this is so foreign to me. people want to write about MY characters WHAT! like that alone...takes a long time to process. and like i know i should say no but then i feel mean but they’re also my creations so like idk. it warms my heart that you feel so strongly and would stand up for me like that i’m cryin thank u for calling in i love u

I JUST FINISHED YOUR ENTIRE STORY AND I'M NOT OK WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE PUTTING ME THROUGH THAT SHIT IT'S AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER AND I FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE ABUSED MY (NON EXISTENT) INNOCENCE WOW

I’M SO SORRY U HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT ALSO I APOLOGIZE FOR STEALING YOUR INNOCENCE I NEVER MEANT FOR THIS TO HAPPEN OSDAFKJDSK BUT THANK YOU FOR READING I’M GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT EVEN IF IT HURT YOU!!!

I've been up all night and it's now 11am. I'm completely binging on your stories bc I am in LOVE and need a Molly in my game asap. Do you think you'll ever upload her?

omG my freaking story inciting insomnia i’m so sorry for ur sleep schedule first of all, but at least that makes you identify with santi even more omg tho ;___; (how many times will i say ‘omg’ i wonder) i don’t think so because she is so dear to me and makes my heart ache, she is just so special, i dunno if i could ever release her into the wild like that lmao. i haven’t even shared her with my friends (not that i really ever had a reason to) but like yeah. maybe in the future that’ll change but right now, no, i’m sorry <3

To change the topic: Idk if you watch stranger things but I only managed to get to episode 3 of season 2 before I stopped watching lmao it was so bad and Billy (a certified Cunt) ruined the whole show for me

YEAH I DID! omg. i have a LOT of issues with this season (mostly in how badly they tried to retcon nancy and everyone else not caring about barb’s death, how bad the writing was in the realm of nancy and steve breaking up and then her and jonathan getting together...holy fuck it was so uncomfortable with that 40 yr old conspiracy theorist guy i couldn’t even enjoy my ship getting together lmao) also ur right, max and billy honestly did not offer anything to the story...like i loved max too but what was the point...billy acted like their presence and the reason they had to move was so dramatic when it was really nothing...unless they’re saving that for season 3 but like. the whole situation with billy was so anticlimactic. he was like a walmart version of henry from IT. like boohoo ur dad’s an asshole and then he beat up steve. good character arc. i liked max standing up for herself but really...that whole thing was so lackluster, i didn’t care about it at all. ALSO I HATED THAT THEY DIDN’T LET MAX AND ELEVEN BE FRIENDS!! i’m sure it’ll happen in season 3 but like c’mon...that would’ve made the max character feel a little more important to the story. anyway yeah fuck billy and i don’t get why everyone is lusting after him or his actor they’re both ugly! thanks for listening

I just got the sims 4 + city living and I’m so excited! I was really inspired by your stories and style in general... I was wondering what packs do you have and also what are your favourite sims 4 hairs? I’m having trouble finding ones and I love your style!

YAY I’M EXCITED FOR YOU!!! omg aww it warms my heart so much when people say i inspire them because i never anticipated that kind of response, thank you so much <3 hmmm i think i have all of them except glamour stuff and fitness stuff. and pretty much all the hairs i download are here or here. (or the subsequent ‘tf’, ‘cf’, ‘tm’ and ‘cm’ tags as well, according to age)

UHM a 19 year old and a 13 year old? Poor baby Lou... Also youre a brilliant writer i cant

😬😬😬  stay tuned ajasdhjhjsahd thank you so much!!!

My stan levels for you have increased so much? like thanks for being a good ally, clAps for femmesim!

lmao thank you, i don’t really deserve praise tho i’m just passing on the knowledge of those patient enough to teach me. just trying to do what i can with my privilege u know. ily

How do you have teeth showing in so many of your pictures of Lou and Molly, do you PS them in?

i’ve gotten this question before and it’s usually just the poses used! i do have some lipsticks that have teeth on them but i mostly use them for just rooney.

Honestly, a fight between Santi and that new guy (srry, forgot his name while typing this) would be so hot. Like, I hope Santi would win but like just watching Santi fight him for Lou would make me happy!! Also, I live for your stories💞

omG i’m about to call up vince mcmahon they both need to fight on smackdown it’s gonna happen. they’ll both be shirtless too ok and THANK YOU ILY

boi poc can be PREJUDICED against white people but there is no such thing as reverse racIIIIIIiiiiIIIIIiiiIIIIsm

Lemme just say that you must be feeling so stressed rn. I love you and your simblr!!! Your posts light up my day!! <3333

OMg kind of. this week has taken A Lot out of me and i really just want to chill at home and play my freaking GAME but obligations. u know. here’s hoping i get a day off this week. i’m mad i’m probably gonna miss gianni’s birthday too (it’s on tuesday) and i wanted to do something for it!! i’ll probably do it late like i did last year too lmao i’m so sorry baby g ANYWAY u didn’t ask to hear about any of this...thank you for this sweet message i love you <3

why,,,, are people... coming to your blog to discuss race you are a fucking simblr WHAT

the real question is why do people go to you like its your job to educate them lmao like theres so many resources out there

SHAWDY u aint wrong reverse racism is literally a joke i am so sorry you have to go through all of this keep stepping on white feelings we deserve it

I was wondering would u consider Asians to be POC?

yes

I just finished Strange the Dreamer and it was fucking amazing. I cried so much and I laughed and I sat in absolute amazement at the world Laini Taylor has created. 100/10 would recommend

ahhhh i really need to read it apparently!! i’m like 10% away from being done with a dance with dragons (and then i have to wait for the next book like a peasant HURRY UP KING GEORGE) anyway this one is definitely on my list!

omgomg!! I just met this girl in my class who has eyes just like ramona's!!! But like instead of being brown w/ a little bit of blue, they were blue w/ a little bit of brown!!! Dude I was so shook I rlly didn't think ppl had eyes like that!

OMG!!!! that’s amazing! and yes heterochromia is a real thing haha. i’ve only met one person with it and he had the same color combo as ramona too, only his was full heterochromia, not sectoral.

*me in the background screaming* nO yOU LEAVE HER ALoNE baD-DAD-MaN!

ME TF TOO

every time i read some of your stories i get an ache in my heart that doesn't go away until i either cry or sleep so interpret that as you like

OMG ;_____; ok me too tho my heart literally hurts thinking about my characters sometimes...mostly santi...i hate him (no i don’t :{ )

hey uhh idk if you've answered something like this before but do you have a spotify or something bc your music taste is GOLD

THANK YOU!! you were the first person to ask about this haha and hopefully you saw my answer to the other question about it! i just made one and it’s here!

hi hi ! i’m seeing all the drama on da blog and i really want to read the whole story but i can’t get to it on mobile so i was wondering if you could link the beginning and tell me what the best order to read it in is ( i’m so confused because i’ve seen sm people y’all about a parallel story so idk if i’m being dumb !! ) i hope this isn’t any inconvenience also your sims are so beautiful sjajsjajs

hey on mobile the link is just: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono i would honestly just recommend that order haha, it makes things simpler and it encompasses ALL story posts, or posts that give context. there are parallels in my story, lou’s is kind of a parallel of santi’s, only different...well...you’ll see. but yeah sorry this is so late! and thank you!!!

TU HISTORIA ES TAAAAAN BUENA POR DIOOOOS (YOURE STORY IS SOOOOO GOOD OMG) <3 <3 *OO* *cries in spanish*

MUCHAS GRACIAS ENCANTADORA PERSONAAAA <333

lou is wendy right? i mean, a wendy complex is someone who is overly mothering to partners, and lou is already a mother and ik that doesn't really count as foreshadowing but it seems like it could be a link to me. it'd make sense too, considering guys that go after younger girls (ew) are usually immature ie peter pan complex. it'd make the most sense that those two go together then.

heheheheh that is a VERY good observation...that’s all i’m gonna say!!

This has nothing to do with what's happening in the story rn, but whatever. I was wondering if you were going to mention lou's struggles with being a single mom and the stigma surrounding single motherhood? As a single mother myself I'd really enjoy seeing you take on the issue. Personally, my biggest problem was overcoming the generalizations people put on you when you're a single mom. People always assumed that I that I was stupid and uneducated because I had my son when I was 17.

yes! that will definitely come up. i will focus a lot on her struggles as a single mom. so far i’ve mostly just peppered in some stuff about money troubles, and that will come up again, and the issues you mention will be pretty central to her character as well. i’m sorry you have to endure that, it’s not fair. people don’t even realize how strong and dedicated single mothers are.

when you say Peter Pan, do you mean the Disney stuff or the og creepy stuff?

i mean the general themes of the story and how that translates into a peter pan complex: boy who never grows up, feels like he fits in more with younger people (haha...yikes), read the message above because that anon described the other half of the equation better than i could

Wait, hold up. That dude is cute but I feel like he’s coming onto Lou way too strong. I have a bad feeling.. Lou is like 13 there and he is 19 I mean I’ve seen bigger gaps between people, but she is not legal yet.. Where are you going with this? 🤨😅

yyyyyyep that feeling is warranted! i am going a way i don’t think you guys expect me to go...i think you’ll be very confused at the end of this part lmao. that being said, i’m not putting any of this in for shock value or to romanticize inappropriate relationships like this. (i’m probably going to be repeating that a LOT for this story but please just keep that in mind)

Hey mom wanna hear a fun as hell story? I just got back from the ER bc I fell on my razor after showering, and practically cut my nipple in half. (I am in so much pain hELP)

OMFG NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR POOR NIPPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M SO SORRY I HOPE IT FEELS BETTER PLEASE UPDATE ME ON THE NIPPLE STATUS

U gotta watch sense8!!! Apart from the v awkward sex scenes it's v good, has a lot of representation and shit Just watch that shit show, u won't regret it (And if you do I cut your throat oops)

i’ve heard it’s good! i remember when it first came out and everyone was like Wow The Representation so honestly anything with diversity has already got me hooked pls don’t murder me.

I'm calling it now. He's Fi's dad. and he's a FUCKING CREEP!! Bitch you are 19!! LOU IS 13!! BACK THE FUCK OFF YOU PERV!!

no spoilers or anything but honestly i’m with you @ cillian die

Are they gonna fucc, o no

right now? no. that would be Very Bad

bABY ITS COLD OUTSIDE

oh same

Hi ! Your lastest edit (graveyard girl) is truly amazing, how did you make that bokeh behind her ? 😱😍

thank you so much!!! it’s reshade (with matso DOF)!

You've probably got this question a lot of times but i can't find the answer for it. What reshade do you use?

i gotta add this to my faq, it’s one i created myself but i started out with this one (it totally doesn’t resemble that one anymore but i think it’s a good starting point)

how do you make good looking male sims? mine always look the same and kinda girly..

hmmm longer faces, prominent chins and jaws, smaller eyes, bigger noses...generally yeah

What do you mean 9 + alt?

you gotta turn bb.moveobjects on and then press alt + 9 when an object is selected to move it upward. so what i did with those poses i made was, i selected a teleporter and pressed alt + 9 until it was at a spot i liked on the roof. that’s why releasing those poses would be tricky, ‘cause every build is different so there’s no set way to place them, you just kinda have to play around with them

You mentioned GoT so naturally, I have to chime in and express my love for Jon. Honestly, he won me over ever since the first season? I'm at season 5 now and people have already warned me so now i'm silently weeping, waiting for something to happen to my precious bby help

JONNY BOY!!!!!!!!!!! i loved his emo ass since the beginning but his arc with qorin halfhand (was he in the show??) was probably the best arc in book 2 and then his book 3 arc was just...SO GOOD, SO MUCH happens to him and i just felt like i was watching my son go through it all...i love that boy so much ;-; i’m almost at the end of the last book and i’m scared for him because of the one spoiler i know lmao and you’re at that point too so GET READY we’ll go through it together ok

So there's this game I'm playing where someone talking about another character says 'maybe you can break him from his ouroboros of self-fladulation' (I know I probably butchered those spellings but I'm not a bright egg and autocorrect isn't helping rip) and tbh it made me think of Santi. (Also I'mma scream of you get this reference jsyk)

OMG THE FACT THAT YOU THOUGHT OF HIM ;-; and it’s okay u are the brightest egg in the bunch to me. I’M SORRY I DON’T GET THIS REFERENCE BECAUSE I’M NOT A VIDEO GAME PERSON BUT I’LL PRETEND I DO KNOW WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT anyway yes santi is currently in the process of breaking his self-flagellation and embracing the oneness of the ouroboros (as opposed to letting the cycle repeat itself until he’s worn down to nothing)

do you have any favorite pose creators?

answered

do you have any tips for taking good screenshots in game? like how to get the good angles and good quality? i play on ultra but i think when i zoom in and then use the arrows on my keyboard to move around, the pictures gets less clear and looks kinda blurry. how should i do this?

well if you’re already using ultra, there’s not much you can do lmao. sims 4 is just bad with textures in general. it also depends on the objects as well, some are better quality than others. if i zoom in far on a sim’s face, i generally know there will be some pixelation and i can clean that up in photoshop with topaz clean and the smudge tool. i am very reliant on photoshop sometimes lmao. it sounds like you already have the basics of taking good screenshots, it’s just sometimes you have to fight and work with sims 4′s less-than-hd quality.

burn it down by daughter reminds me of santi & i'm in pain

ouroboros!!! death! birth! death again! birth again rinse repeat! also santi breaking the cycle because third time's the charm

The tattoo is an Ouroboros. It originated in Egyptian iconography, and it symbolizes recreation. My boy's recreating himself, I'm so proud.

ouroboros, the dragon eating its own tail. it's a sign of eternal renewal

i saw the post of child molly and just started BAWLING i miss her what the fuck she's my fave character i'M CRYING

ME TOO BICH!! ME FUCKIN TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just read all of A Serious Case Of The Novembers so far and theres still tears on my face. some of the best stuff ive read in a while, great job on everything

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! ALSO I’M SORRY FOR MAKING YOU CRY

every time you write about molly and her in heaven it makes my heart swell, like the characters were answering asks and someone asked her what heaven was like and even though it was so small short lil answer it still pulls at the heart strings, basically what im trying to say is that your writing is so good! <3

omg ;_______; me too, i feel like she has such a simple way with words and although her descriptions of heaven are brief, they are also complex and beautiful, and even just writing it chokes me up ;-; thank you so much tho i’m so glad you like it!!

Molly: out Molly tatto: also out

why did this remind me of this post:

How did you edit in the fire in the last post? Looks cool

i searched things like “bonfire” and pasted parts of it that i wanted on the pic to make it look more realistic, then put a layer mask on the pasted pic and erased the edges and stuff to make it blend in better. the sparks and stuff i added by pasting it onto a new layer and changing the blending mode to screen! 

idk if you have every watched grey anatomy but Lou's backstory is starting to remind me of Jo (Jo is a character from the show) like Jo was in a abusive relationship and she is married to the guy but she cant get divorced or he will come and find her. So like if Lou didn't tell Fiona's dad he was a dad and Lou was married to him and cant escape the marriage (cause abuse), plus it would explain Lou's kink with being choked ;) full circle *god-like heaven music with tiniest violin is playing now*

ooh no i don’t but that’s interesting and i’m excited you even made a connection like that! i will say that it’s not lou who likes to be choked (the very opposite actually lmao) but otherwise the situation does kinda fit. i’m the violin

I have a freakin bio pre ap test tomorrow on photosynthesis and i have no idea what it is im going to fail save me

I’M ANSWERING THIS VERY LATE BUT I HOPE YOUR TEST WENT WELL!!!!!! *spongebob voice* photosynthesis

last time I installed reshade I couldn't get it to open the controls or shaders or anything in game :///// any tips?? I love they way reshade looks too!!

hmmmmm well i know the control panel opens when you press shift + f2, and then you check the boxes of the effects you want on them. i haven’t heard of this problem so i dunno what other advice to give i’m sorry :{ if it’s your first time installing it, you might have to wait a little to get it to load up.

Da puppy is so cute!!!

That dog and Romona are so adorable, I might cry

Ramona's cheeks are so big im in love

NAJKSDJGKJSD THANK YOU i love her and her chubby cheeks ;-;

OMG TOTORO IS SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE GHIBLI UGH FKSJFJANFB

SAME!!!!!!! if i could only watch ghibli movies for the rest of my life i’d be totally fine with that

THE DOGGIE HAS EYES JUST LIKE RAMONAS IM GONNA FUCKIGN CRY

ME FUCKGN TOO!!!!!!!!!! it was fate (aka me creating the wolf pup to look just like her shh i am fate)

Hope I'm not bothering you but i wondered if you knew how to make Tamo sims eyebags work on a toddler? Do I just click in s4s to work for toddler on the "age and gender flags" when looking in My CC or do I have to do something a little more than that please? Thank you.

for any skin detail or makeup, you have to go into s4s and open the package up, go to one of the tabs (honestly i don’t remember which one because i don’t have it open rn lmao) and you’ll see the different age groups and you check the box for toddler. and then save it of course. (there’s probably a better guide on how to do this somewhere lmao)

Hey :) Sorry to take up your time, I was wondering if you use win7, win8 or win10? I'm trying to decide on one and people seem to have very strong feelings about it. Also what web browser do you use? I've used Firefox, but I had some problems on CC websites. Thanks<3

i use windows 10 because it came with my laptop lmao i honestly don’t know much about windows systems at all!! and i use google chrome because it’s never failed me (even though windows keeps pressuring me to use the new internet explorer called “edge”)

i just finished all of novembers in a sitting and 1. i'm Sobbing, 2. your music taste is bomb

THANK YOU!!! my music taste is like one part indie shit, one part rap and hip-hop, twelve parts emo middle school bands

what is the size of the original unedited screenshot?

1920x1080

For reshade when your first install and select the reshade you want to use do you have to edit the settings? Cause last time I tried to (I didn’t know what most of the things meant lmao) but it kept saying error or something so I couldn’t play the game so I ended up taking out reshade

do you mean the preset you want to use? i mean no you can just play with that preset, you don’t have to change anything about it. i’m not sure what you mean but i followed this guide for setting it up

Will you ever share your preset?? Or maybe a preset made be you??

i’ve answered this before but the answer is Maybe

Hi!!!! How do you make the rays of light you have in your photos?? THANK U BBY <3333

that’s actually in my editing tutorial but here you go <3

is reshade only available on windows + do we need to pay for it

yes and no

Hello love! I was wondering (and maybe it's a dumb question, idk) but what life span setting do you use? I would assume you turned off aging for your story but maybe I'm wrong ;w; Thank you!!

i do actually have aging off ‘cause i’m a coward lmao even in the ts3 days when i wasn’t doing story stuff and literally just playing i had it off for the most part and just aged sims up when i wanted because i like to be in control of Everything (aries)

I really just wanted to say that I’m new I your tumblr but your stories are amazing and I love them so much!!! Keep doing what you’re doing💞👏🏼

hey thank you!!! you are so kind and i’m glad you’re enjoying everything!!

In your reshade settings where have you set it to save your SS's to and which key please? I can't find mine after setting it to desktop/screenshots :(

i just set mine to ts4′s screenshots folder because it’s what i was used to and it works for me haha. hmmmmmm did you copy the exact address or whatever it’s called of your folder’s location and then paste it into the reshade box? try doing that with another location and see if it works. if anything you can do what i did ‘cause it worked for me 

ok SO i came across this music video for this like spanish/english speaking indie band called The Marías and the song was déjate llevar and literally everything about the music video reminded me of rooney and gianni

OMMMGGG i love this so much, i cry @ music suggestions and this is so them ;-; i think i’ve heard of this band before actually!!

a little life is going to fucking ruin you,,, just a warning

great! i look forward to it

can a steal ur talent

have it i don’t need it

What app are you using to make them cool edit things??

i tagged it but it was doodle face

omg Strange the Dreamer is so freaking amazing! It’s literally one of my favorite books of all time; You’ll love it. The writing is absolutely delightful

you guys are really singin the praises for this book!! i have so many dang books to read i swear

[moonlights0nata]

11 with puppyshipping

11. lose yourself

after 30 years....i return with this fic (thank u again for all the ones you sent nonnie  !! sorry i’m such a slow writer lmao)

i feel kaiba is kinda ooc but at this point....i just wanted my soft kaijou moment okay this fic took months for no reason woops

“Kaiba--Kaiba--”The voice talking to him felt distant, far off, and at first Kaibadidn't react to it,  lost in a trance, his mind racing. His breathingwas shallow, short—was he even breathing? He felt dizzy, like airwasn't properly getting to his lungs.

“Dammit—Kaiba--”Something jostled his shoulder. “Seto!” Suddenly the voice wasn'tfar away but close by, and Kaiba inhaled sharply, eyes starting tocome into focus. He became aware of someone sitting next to him, ofhands cupping his face. Blue eyes met worried, hazel ones and heblinked quickly, realized it was Jounouchi's hands on his face, warm,grounding, and he finally took notice of his surroundings. Itwas dark , but the sheets underneath him told him they were in hisbedroom.

“Seto.”Jounouchi's voice, soft, less alarmed than before, called for himagain. “You had a nightmare. It was just a dream. You have tobreathe.” Kaiba realized he was still close tohyperventilation and he swallowed thickly, trying to calm down, evenas the images of his dream came crashing down on him. But Jounouchikept him from loosing himself to those visions, still talking, tonegentle but commanding. “Breathe with me.”

AllKaiba could offer was a weak nod, signal that he was listening, andthen copied Jounouchi as he breathed in and out, inhale, exhale, in asteady rhythm. Air came back to his lungs, and he slowly managed toeven his breathing, but was still visibly shaking, unable to concealit. He averted his gaze, slouching against the headboard of the bed.Jounouchi sat beside him, silent but his presence comfortingnevertheless.

Kaibagrit his teeth. It frustrated him to no end, that something that weremere figments of his mind could shake him so much. That hecouldn't pretend it didn't. Because he was used to it, to crushingsuch emotions with his bare hands, because he didn't need them, andshowing signs of weakness was something he'd never allowed himself.

Althoughthere was a time, when he was young and spirited and hopeful and he'dgambled everything in a chess match to attain something that wouldhave otherwise been out of reach. He'd played his cards well, buthe'd been a child and weak and helpless against Gozaburo'shand, his words, his rules, his punishments. They crushed thenaive boy he was. They replaced it by someone cunning, cold andcalculative, emotions something he did not need to survive in theenvironment he was in. Gozaburo made him who he was. And his owncreation had been his step father's downfall.

Hisdreams were a constant reminder. Sometimes of the distant past, of heand Mokuba and other kids, having so little but enough to smile. Butothers, like tonight, and many other nights, of everything he'dgained with that chess game, and everything he'd lost; of everypunishment by Gozaburo's hand, of every scar it'd left, of leavingMokuba alone, of how he'd lost himself in the process, leaving only ashell.

Andit frightened him. Because even though he'd picked up the crackedpieces of his soul, finding himself again, he feared the person hehad become, the things he'd done, the fact that sometimes he'dsounded like Gozaburo himself.

Itwas disgusting.

Ahand lightly brushed against his and Kaiba flinched on instinct butrelaxed knowing it was just Jounouchi. He let him grab his hand andrun a thumb over his knuckles. A small gesture, but by now it spokemiles to Kaiba; 'i'm here if you need me'.

Odd,how with little soft touches Jounouchi managed to get in between thecracks, to lower Kaiba's defenses. After younger years of pettybickering, Kaiba guessed they'd grown up. At least, he had,just enough to see Jonouchi in a different light. To see the earnest,caring person he was,  the stubborn, passionate duelist that even inthe face of defeat had never given up. Even if they still banteredoften, it was softer, more playful, like a game for them. And it wasalmost no surprise they'd become close; that they'd come to sharequiet moments at coffee shops, that Jounouchi started bursting intohis office and dragging him outside for a break, that they dueledsprawled on Kaiba's bed and for a moment, Kaiba felt like someoneelse, like the him that could have lived his high school daysdifferently, playing a game with a friend, for the mere enjoyment ofit, taunting each other, joking together.

Jonouchiwas now a constant in his life. One Kaiba couldn't nor did he want toget rid of.

Kaibastill didn't find it easy, to show weakness, to let down his walls.But with Jonouchi, it was different. It wasn't so hard, now, totrust. To let himself be vulnerable around him.  He had been usedto waking up alone after a nightmare, in a silent cry, only thedarkness to embrace him and reflect everything he'd seen in hisdream. But now, more often than not, Jonouchi was next to him,  todraw him back into reality.

Kaiba'sother hand naturally raised to his neck, rubbing at the old bruisesthere, and he swallowed thickly, flashes of his dream coming back tohim. That dammed collar, pressing against his throat.

“Idoubted that man was really human, sometimes.” He said, withoutmuch context, aware that Jonouchi was looking at him. “But he wascunning. Intelligent. Manipulative. Knew exactly how to make peopledance in the palm of his hand. To bend them to his will.” He letout a non comical snort. “By force, if he had to.” He stoppedrubbing his neck and merely stared at his hand. “But hemiscalculated. He taught me too much.” He curled his hand into afist. “And I crushed him.”

Jonouchistill said nothing, but he had shifted so their shoulders bumped intoeach other. Kaiba didn't move, merely stared at his fist. “That hadbeen my only goal, for years. Once he was no longer in charge, thingswould finally look up for Mokuba and me.” His hand dropped to hislap and he smiled wryly. “But somewhere along the way...I lostsight of everything. Of myself. Sometimes...” His voicelowered. “It feels like Gozaburo never left.” Sometimesthe mirror showed someone else. Sometimes he saw the monster.

“Seto.”Jonouchi finally spoke up, and out of the corner of his eyes Kaibafinally noticed he'd turned on the bed lamp. He moved closer, tryingto get Kaiba to meet his eyes. “You are nothing like him.”

“Iam what he made me.” He retorted, harshly. “By trying toreject everything he was--” Another laugh, a hand rising to coverhis face. “I became like him. Just like he expected, surely--”

“Stop.Seto, stop--” Only when he had Jounouchi in front of him,straddling his lap and cupping his cheeks did he realize he wasstarting to get agitated again. Jonouchi lifted up his face for theireyes to meet. “Listen, whether you are or not like him depends onyou. Your choices. And I know—I know I can't imaginewhat he was like, the things he did to you--” There was a certainedge to his voice, anger, towards Gozaburo. “But I know you.And sure, when I met you I thought you were the biggest jerk on theplanet, and didn't give a damn about anyone but yourself—But now Iknow better. Behind that dumb mask you wear to appear cool andcollected and cold you give more damns than you want others to know.I know you'd do anything to keep Mokuba safe. You care about him morethan anyone in the world.”

“Butit doesn't change the fact all those years I ignored him. All thoseyears I treated his failures like Gozaburo would--” With venomin his words, with harsh punishments, because failure was not in theKaiba dictionary. Regret tasted sour in his mouth.

“Listen.”Jonouchi shook him again, kept him from spiraling down again. “I'mnot saying what you did in the past was right. What matters is whatyou do now. You are the kind of guy who always looks forwards,right?”  Jonouchi's hand gently stroked his cheek and there'sadoration in those eyes as they looked at him. “And you can't playthe cold business man like ya used to. I know you better. Mokubaknows you better. You get this stupidly adorable warm look inyour eyes whenever you greet him in the morning. For once you camehome early when you found out he was sick and stayed up all nightjust for him. You love your little brother so damn much. Youare far, far from the man Gozaburo was.”

Heleaned in and pressed a kiss to Kaiba's lips, short but meaningful,eyes fond when he pulled away. “I've seen you change. I'veseen you mess up, and I've seen you try to make up for it.” A handrested on Kaiba's chest, just above his heart. “You are not amachine, you are not a robot. You are so very human. I've seenhow caring your heart is.”

Jonouchi'simage looked blurry and only then did Kaiba realize there were tearsat the corners of his eyes. And he couldn't hide them, he couldn'tlook away, not from Jonouchi. Not anymore. Jonouchi smiled andgot closer again.

“Ilove you so much.” With those words their lips locked together,Kaiba meeting him halfway. Long arms wrap around Jonouchi's back andembraced him tightly, holding onto him and gripping the back of hisshirt. When Jonouchi pulled away a little Kaiba surged forward againand kissed him desperately, muffling a whimper between their mouths,gripping him tighter.

Hedidn't want to ever let go of this man.

Thisman that could see something else than the monster in the mirror.

Jonouchi,that saw him, saw through him and loved him. Jonouchi, who Kaiba hadcome to adore.

“Katsuya--”The name slipped between kisses and if anything Jonouchi's kissesturned even sweeter for it. Kaiba was a little winded by the time hepulled away, but he chuckled, eliciting a confused noise fromJonouchi. Kaiba's arms had relaxed their grip, now wrapped looselyaround Jonouchi's neck.

“Youare right. I was never the type to care for the past. Only for whatis standing in front of me.” Because the past hurt too much to lookback on sometimes. But right now the past was meaningless becausewhat he had right here was his present, and his future. He looked atJonouchi, eyes unguarded, and felt him catch his breath.

“AndI...care for you.” He sighed, their foreheads bumping together. “Ilove you. And I love Mokuba.”  He shut his eyes tightly, linescreasing his brow. “I'm...just...” 'I'm just so afraid toloose it. To mess up all of this. To become the monster.'

“Iknow.” Jonouchi untangled himself momentarily just so he could layboth of them down, arms wrapping around Kaiba and caressing his back.

“We'renot going anywhere, Seto. And, if you ever loose yourself again--”He tucked Kaiba's head under his chin and held him protectively tohis chest. Feeling safe with someone used to be something nonexistentin Kaiba's life, always alert, always untrusting. But here withJonouchi he felt safe, and when he spoke, Kaiba trusted hiswords.

“I'llbe there to help you find yourself.”

[harborstock0-blog]

Vegan Birthday Cake

It's my birthday month! So, cake.

Though my birthday isn't until the tail end of the month, I have been craving an epic, funfetti-infused, layer cake lately and so this fluffy-amazing Happy Birthday Funfetti Cake happened. Fluffy chocolate cake pairs with creamy, rainbow-sprinkle filled, vanilla frosting. Gold-sparkly cake topper on top. So if you have a special celebration coming up or just need a happy cake to perch on your kitchen counter, give my recipe a try! Recipe, plus find out my cake-spiration from a cooking show I have been loving lately..

Vegan rainbow sprinkles. Chocolate sprinkles or even crushed cookie pieces could also be used!

Birthday cake or any day cake.

My vegan chocolate cake, sweetened with coconut sugar.

Vanilla frosting paired with chocolate gives an "Oreo" style flavor.

Cake-spiration. We have been late to the game watching this show, but I am currently in love with Masterchef Junior! Have you guys seen it? I usually don't like kid-themed reality shows, but I watched one episode and was hooked. I love the judges and these kids are so incredibly talented they have been inspiring ME to take my recipes to the next level. And one of the judges in the later seasons is Christina Tosi. Who I admit, I had to google to figure out who she was. Then I realized that she was the genius behind the famously popular Milk Bar in NYC, and I knew instantly who she was and was curious to learn more.

I actually lived in NYC when Milk Bar came onto the scene and everyone in the food blogging world seemed to be talking about it. I was bummed when I realized that the sweet treats were not vegan-friendly, but I was still impressed with the fun, girly, creative brand that Milk Bar created. I watched the Chef's Table on Christina Tosi and learned even more about how she got her start in the food world. Great watch on Netflix! So one of her most-famous creations is the Milk Bar Birthday Cake. ...It's gorgeous and fun and just so HAPPY to look at. I'm guessing it tastes amazing too. I wonder if she has ever had a special request to veganize it. I'm sure she could, she is so talented, but for now, I am happy creating my own rift on funfetti birthday cake goodness.

Today's cake was inspired by Christina, but made my own by using chocolate cake instead of vanilla-funfetti and I frosted all the sides - unlike her cake. I want to experiment with her unfrosted method because it is so pretty. The Chef's Table show shows you how she gets those signature unfrosted sides - and why she leaves her cake that way.

Today's Birthday Cake is vegan and so incredibly delicious. The chocolate cake is light and fluffy and the frosting, rich, yet also fluffy. The cake recipe I used is actually my Wacky Chocolate Cake - tripled - to have enough batter for three layers. My frosting is a spin on my usual vegan buttercream frosting, made using half vegan shortening for ultra-silky texture and a very room temp-stable consistency.

I think it is important to know the exact brands that I used for this recipe, so here they are...

- flour: Bob's Red Mill Whole Wheat Flour - shortening: Nutiva - butter: Earth Balance - sprinkles: India Tree - non-dairy milk: Ripple - cocoa: Navitas Cacao

Some Cake Baking Tips: - Fresh Flour. A brand new bag is a good idea when making a cake as important as a birthday cake! - Room Temp. Be extra careful about making sure the water, butter, milk and shortening are all at room temp. You do not want that coconut oil clumping up from cold water - or the frosting clumping up from rock hard butter. - Perfect Your Cake. If you are making this for the first time, before diving into making a full layer cake, I would suggest making this cake via cupcakes! You can follow this recipe here. Once you are happy with your cupcakes, you will be more confidant moving into a layer cake. - Frosting. Frosting is one of those things that comes together quite easily, but technique is pretty important. Getting the butter/shortening mixture nice and soft and smooth from the start is key. Then gently, yet briskly whipping in the sugar. You want things fluffy and light and sometimes you may need an extra splash of milk or extra spoonful or two of sugar, so being flexible is important. - Flat Cake. My tip is to cool the cakes upside down to press that fluffy rounded part down a bit. A flat cake is sturdier to stack, though my layers were not perfectly flat and we still loved it. If your cake is perfectly flat your frosting will be more evenly layered. You can see in my photos, my frosting is thicker on the ends where the cake rounded in a bit. If your cake has a really puffy top, you can always trim off a bit of cake to make it flat. - Pro Tools. Highly advised to have when making a layer cake: a frosting paddle, turntable, some sort of large spatula... I bought this 72-piece cake decorating set from Amazon and it has everything in it and more. Pretty good deal for around $22. - Color it? If you want to color your frosting in addition to or instead of sprinkles, I love this vegan food coloring set. - Springform Pans. I love my springform pans. I simply pop off the sides and gently wiggle the cake bottom loose, flip and remove the bottom layer of the pan. Cake pan on Amazon.

Cake Toppers? I usually buy my cake toppers from Paper Source, but you can always make your own or check out Etsy.

I also looooooove the birthday sparkler candles - like I used on these cupcakes.

Creamy frosting.

Three 7" fluffy layers. You could try for two 8" layers, or even four 6" layers!

Last word of advice when baking a cake for someone you love. (And yes, that could include yourself!) It does NOT have to look perfect! There are so many perfection-filled cakes on the internet these days, Instagram especially, cake baking can become quite intimidating. Well, if you can achieve perfectly smooth sides and equally spread frosting layers and bakery-looking everything - awesome! But if you do not achieve perfection - that's ok too. My cake here today is far from "Instagram perfect," but I as super proud of it. And it tastes AH-mazing. We all want to improve our skills, but don't let that stop you from diving in in the first place - no matter what your first attempt looks like.

Keep baking guys! xoxo

Vegan Birthday Funfetti Cake

By Kathy Patalsky

Published 01/12/2019

This fluffy chocolate cake is paired with a creamy vanilla funfetti frosting. Vegan and whole wheat.

Ingredients

Chocolate Cake:

3/4 cup cocoa powder, unsweetened

3 cups + 3 Tbsp whole wheat flour, Bob's Red Mill used

1 1/2 tsp baking soda

1 1/2 tsp salt

2 cups coconut sugar

2 cups + 2 Tbsp water, room temperature

3/4 cup virgin coconut oil, melted

3 tsp vanilla extract

2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar

Funfetti Frosting:

(1 stick) 1/2 cup vegan butter, earth Balance - not rock hard

1/2 cup shortening - Nutiva used - room temperature

1/4 cup non-dairy milk (higher-fat variety - room temperature.)

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

3 1/2 - 4 cups powdered sugar, organic

vegan rainbow sprinkles, to taste - India Tree used

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease three, seven-inch round cake pans with a bit of coconut oil.

To a large mixing bowl add: cocoa powder, flour, baking soda, salt and coconut sugar. Stir well to combine.

Scoop two wells in the flour. In one well, add the vanilla extract. In the other well, add the vinegar. Next, pour in the water and oil. Briskly whisk by hand or beat on low with a mixer, until combined and fluffy. Do not over-beat.

Pour the batter into the three greased pans, dividing it evenly between them.

Bake the cakes at 350 degrees for 25 minutes or until fluffy and cooked through. Remove from the oven and cool for at least twenty minutes before turning upside down onto a cooling rack for the remainder of the cooling process. Tip: Placing then puffy side down when cooling helps to flatten the cakes a bit to make frosting easier.

Flash-Forward method: Instead of cooling at room temp for hours, place the cakes in the fridge - they should chill completely in about 30-60 minutes.

Just before you are ready to frost your cooled cakes, whip up your frosting. Add the shortening and vegan butter to a medium mixing bowl Whip with a beater for a minute to smooth things together. Add in the vanilla and non-dairy milk and whip to create a smooth and creamy butter mixture. Now 3/4 cup at a time, beat in the powdered sugar until everything is combined and you have a fluffy, silky, rich frosting - ready to spread! Fold in the rainbow sprinkles.

Frost your cakes. Place your first layer on a cake turntable and frost the top. Place the second cake on top of that and frost. Then finally your third cake layer on top and frost the top of that. Then smooth our the sides with the remaining frosting. Tip: Do not over-fill the center layers so you do not run out of frosting. Also: If you like A LOT of frosting, you may want to make another HALF batch of the frosting recipe. But the amount I had was just enough for my cake.

Serve same day. You can store this cake at room temp for a few hours, but any longer and you will want to place it in the fridge.

Yield: 8-10 slices

Prep Time: 00 hrs. 30 mins.

Cook time: 00 hrs. 35 mins.

Total time: 65 mins.

Tags: cake,birthday, birthday cake, funfetti, dessert,vegan,chocolate cake,layer cake,baking,

Pin it for later..

ps. And if you want to get me a "birthday gift," sharing this post with a friend or on social media - or pinning it on Pinterest would mean so much to me! I am so proud of this cake, and hope as many people as possible can see and try it!

I'll leave you with..

Fill in the blank: "I really want to ____, but I kinda suck at that." Don't worry about your skill level, just participate in the things you want to be good at. It will get easier. You will get better. OR, you will learn that maybe u didn't really want to ____ in the first place.

— Kathy Patalsky (@lunchboxbunch) January 9, 2019

Source: http://kblog.lunchboxbunch.com/2019/01/vegan-birthday-cake.html

[runfront3-blog]

Vegan Birthday Cake

It's my birthday month! So, cake.

Though my birthday isn't until the tail end of the month, I have been craving an epic, funfetti-infused, layer cake lately and so this fluffy-amazing Happy Birthday Funfetti Cake happened. Fluffy chocolate cake pairs with creamy, rainbow-sprinkle filled, vanilla frosting. Gold-sparkly cake topper on top. So if you have a special celebration coming up or just need a happy cake to perch on your kitchen counter, give my recipe a try! Recipe, plus find out my cake-spiration from a cooking show I have been loving lately..

Vegan rainbow sprinkles. Chocolate sprinkles or even crushed cookie pieces could also be used!

Birthday cake or any day cake.

My vegan chocolate cake, sweetened with coconut sugar.

Vanilla frosting paired with chocolate gives an "Oreo" style flavor.

Cake-spiration. We have been late to the game watching this show, but I am currently in love with Masterchef Junior! Have you guys seen it? I usually don't like kid-themed reality shows, but I watched one episode and was hooked. I love the judges and these kids are so incredibly talented they have been inspiring ME to take my recipes to the next level. And one of the judges in the later seasons is Christina Tosi. Who I admit, I had to google to figure out who she was. Then I realized that she was the genius behind the famously popular Milk Bar in NYC, and I knew instantly who she was and was curious to learn more.

I actually lived in NYC when Milk Bar came onto the scene and everyone in the food blogging world seemed to be talking about it. I was bummed when I realized that the sweet treats were not vegan-friendly, but I was still impressed with the fun, girly, creative brand that Milk Bar created. I watched the Chef's Table on Christina Tosi and learned even more about how she got her start in the food world. Great watch on Netflix! So one of her most-famous creations is the Milk Bar Birthday Cake. ...It's gorgeous and fun and just so HAPPY to look at. I'm guessing it tastes amazing too. I wonder if she has ever had a special request to veganize it. I'm sure she could, she is so talented, but for now, I am happy creating my own rift on funfetti birthday cake goodness.

Today's cake was inspired by Christina, but made my own by using chocolate cake instead of vanilla-funfetti and I frosted all the sides - unlike her cake. I want to experiment with her unfrosted method because it is so pretty. The Chef's Table show shows you how she gets those signature unfrosted sides - and why she leaves her cake that way.

Today's Birthday Cake is vegan and so incredibly delicious. The chocolate cake is light and fluffy and the frosting, rich, yet also fluffy. The cake recipe I used is actually my Wacky Chocolate Cake - tripled - to have enough batter for three layers. My frosting is a spin on my usual vegan buttercream frosting, made using half vegan shortening for ultra-silky texture and a very room temp-stable consistency.

I think it is important to know the exact brands that I used for this recipe, so here they are...

- flour: Bob's Red Mill Whole Wheat Flour - shortening: Nutiva - butter: Earth Balance - sprinkles: India Tree - non-dairy milk: Ripple - cocoa: Navitas Cacao

Some Cake Baking Tips: - Fresh Flour. A brand new bag is a good idea when making a cake as important as a birthday cake! - Room Temp. Be extra careful about making sure the water, butter, milk and shortening are all at room temp. You do not want that coconut oil clumping up from cold water - or the frosting clumping up from rock hard butter. - Perfect Your Cake. If you are making this for the first time, before diving into making a full layer cake, I would suggest making this cake via cupcakes! You can follow this recipe here. Once you are happy with your cupcakes, you will be more confidant moving into a layer cake. - Frosting. Frosting is one of those things that comes together quite easily, but technique is pretty important. Getting the butter/shortening mixture nice and soft and smooth from the start is key. Then gently, yet briskly whipping in the sugar. You want things fluffy and light and sometimes you may need an extra splash of milk or extra spoonful or two of sugar, so being flexible is important. - Flat Cake. My tip is to cool the cakes upside down to press that fluffy rounded part down a bit. A flat cake is sturdier to stack, though my layers were not perfectly flat and we still loved it. If your cake is perfectly flat your frosting will be more evenly layered. You can see in my photos, my frosting is thicker on the ends where the cake rounded in a bit. If your cake has a really puffy top, you can always trim off a bit of cake to make it flat. - Pro Tools. Highly advised to have when making a layer cake: a frosting paddle, turntable, some sort of large spatula... I bought this 72-piece cake decorating set from Amazon and it has everything in it and more. Pretty good deal for around $22. - Color it? If you want to color your frosting in addition to or instead of sprinkles, I love this vegan food coloring set. - Springform Pans. I love my springform pans. I simply pop off the sides and gently wiggle the cake bottom loose, flip and remove the bottom layer of the pan. Cake pan on Amazon.

Cake Toppers? I usually buy my cake toppers from Paper Source, but you can always make your own or check out Etsy.

I also looooooove the birthday sparkler candles - like I used on these cupcakes.

Creamy frosting.

Three 7" fluffy layers. You could try for two 8" layers, or even four 6" layers!

Last word of advice when baking a cake for someone you love. (And yes, that could include yourself!) It does NOT have to look perfect! There are so many perfection-filled cakes on the internet these days, Instagram especially, cake baking can become quite intimidating. Well, if you can achieve perfectly smooth sides and equally spread frosting layers and bakery-looking everything - awesome! But if you do not achieve perfection - that's ok too. My cake here today is far from "Instagram perfect," but I as super proud of it. And it tastes AH-mazing. We all want to improve our skills, but don't let that stop you from diving in in the first place - no matter what your first attempt looks like.

Keep baking guys! xoxo

Vegan Birthday Funfetti Cake

By Kathy Patalsky

Published 01/12/2019

This fluffy chocolate cake is paired with a creamy vanilla funfetti frosting. Vegan and whole wheat.

Ingredients

Chocolate Cake:

3/4 cup cocoa powder, unsweetened

3 cups + 3 Tbsp whole wheat flour, Bob's Red Mill used

1 1/2 tsp baking soda

1 1/2 tsp salt

2 cups coconut sugar

2 cups + 2 Tbsp water, room temperature

3/4 cup virgin coconut oil, melted

3 tsp vanilla extract

2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar

Funfetti Frosting:

(1 stick) 1/2 cup vegan butter, earth Balance - not rock hard

1/2 cup shortening - Nutiva used - room temperature

1/4 cup non-dairy milk (higher-fat variety - room temperature.)

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

3 1/2 - 4 cups powdered sugar, organic

vegan rainbow sprinkles, to taste - India Tree used

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease three, seven-inch round cake pans with a bit of coconut oil.

To a large mixing bowl add: cocoa powder, flour, baking soda, salt and coconut sugar. Stir well to combine.

Scoop two wells in the flour. In one well, add the vanilla extract. In the other well, add the vinegar. Next, pour in the water and oil. Briskly whisk by hand or beat on low with a mixer, until combined and fluffy. Do not over-beat.

Pour the batter into the three greased pans, dividing it evenly between them.

Bake the cakes at 350 degrees for 25 minutes or until fluffy and cooked through. Remove from the oven and cool for at least twenty minutes before turning upside down onto a cooling rack for the remainder of the cooling process. Tip: Placing then puffy side down when cooling helps to flatten the cakes a bit to make frosting easier.

Flash-Forward method: Instead of cooling at room temp for hours, place the cakes in the fridge - they should chill completely in about 30-60 minutes.

Just before you are ready to frost your cooled cakes, whip up your frosting. Add the shortening and vegan butter to a medium mixing bowl Whip with a beater for a minute to smooth things together. Add in the vanilla and non-dairy milk and whip to create a smooth and creamy butter mixture. Now 3/4 cup at a time, beat in the powdered sugar until everything is combined and you have a fluffy, silky, rich frosting - ready to spread! Fold in the rainbow sprinkles.

Frost your cakes. Place your first layer on a cake turntable and frost the top. Place the second cake on top of that and frost. Then finally your third cake layer on top and frost the top of that. Then smooth our the sides with the remaining frosting. Tip: Do not over-fill the center layers so you do not run out of frosting. Also: If you like A LOT of frosting, you may want to make another HALF batch of the frosting recipe. But the amount I had was just enough for my cake.

Serve same day. You can store this cake at room temp for a few hours, but any longer and you will want to place it in the fridge.

Yield: 8-10 slices

Prep Time: 00 hrs. 30 mins.

Cook time: 00 hrs. 35 mins.

Total time: 65 mins.

Tags: cake,birthday, birthday cake, funfetti, dessert,vegan,chocolate cake,layer cake,baking,

Pin it for later..

ps. And if you want to get me a "birthday gift," sharing this post with a friend or on social media - or pinning it on Pinterest would mean so much to me! I am so proud of this cake, and hope as many people as possible can see and try it!

I'll leave you with..

Fill in the blank: "I really want to ____, but I kinda suck at that." Don't worry about your skill level, just participate in the things you want to be good at. It will get easier. You will get better. OR, you will learn that maybe u didn't really want to ____ in the first place.

— Kathy Patalsky (@lunchboxbunch) January 9, 2019

Source: http://kblog.lunchboxbunch.com/2019/01/vegan-birthday-cake.html

[izzyspussy]

ALL 50 QUESTIONS BITCH

HECK

1: Age Group   For fic tbh whatever, I know a lot of people in fandom are underage and are exploring and figuring out what they like, etc. Plus not all my stuff is explicit, and some of the stuff that is still isn’t porn so. As for original stuff that will likely all be explicit as well, so an adult market audience.

2: Genre   Usually fantasy, sometimes science fiction.

3: Big Idea or Detail Oriented Outlining   binch i cant outline for absolute shit. I guess big picture but like…. ?? the biggest possible picture, almost to the point of being useless lmfao. someone help me.

4: Line Editing or Plot Revision   I prefer line editing for fics because I’m lazy and it’s for free, but overhaul type revision results in a better finished product so I use that for original stuff (and commissions).

5: With or Without Deadlines    With deadlines, definitely. I can crank out 1k in an hour if I have a deadline, but without one it can take me 2 years to write just as much (see: Zwangsneurose, started the second I got home from seeing The Winter Soldier, still not finished, word count at ~800 lmfao).

6: The Biggest Compliment   I love it when people mention details that they noticed! Or if god forbid I was funny once.

7: Current WIP Length   I have 12 fic WIPs right now and the longest one is 7.7k. I have 4 original WIPs right now, but they are all in development stages, with no word count yet.

8: Author Comparison Goal   @neil-gaiman 110%. He is my ultimate goals and a huge inspiration, not to mention just a plain cool guy. I also would love to be compared to Rick Riordan or Gillian Flynn.

9: Biggest Struggle   Foreshadowing probably. I sort of wing it as I’m writing, and I can’t do a very good outline like I said, so it’s tough to get good hints and clues as to what’s coming. That’s part of the reason my originals are taking so much development (not just because I have to fill in all the worldbuilding that is already mostly done for fic).

10: Brainstorming With Others or Alone     I like to do a bit of both. I really appreciate input, plus talking things out can really get the creative ball rolling. But I like to get into Deep Shit on my own too, especially with worldbuilding. I’ll always share with others though, even the stuff I wanted to come up with all on my lonesome.

11: Characters Based on Real People     I’m sure there are aspects of people I know, and of myself, in every character I create, and likely even in characters that have already been created. What you know will always leak into your writing. However, I don’t usually base a character fully (or purposefully) around one real person. I do namesakes though, but they’re almost never modeled after that person, it’s just a shoutout to someone I find inspiring in some way.

12: Writing Space Clean or Cluttered     cluttered af binch u been here & seen it smh make me drag myself in front of everyone……

13: Character Driven or Plot Driven     Always character driven!! what kinda question

14: Favorite Writing Related Quote     “Stories may well be lies, but they are good lies that say true things, and which sometimes pay the rent.” - guess who lmao

15: My Characters in Someone Else’s World     I would transport my characters into (brace yourselves for a shock lol jk) American Gods, primarily so that they could get some good old fashioned “help” from the Big Guys.

16: Movie or TV Show     Well two of them have pretty finite endings. The romance legend could be a tv show but with a limited amount of renewal, ala A:TLA (but I’d like it better as a graphic novel). The vampire tragedy has a very finite ending so that would make a better movie. And the witch noir and girl gang are both a bit neverending-WIP-ish so they’d make pretty good shows.

17: Soundtracks     Yes! They help keep me focused and writing in a cohesive tone when I have to leave and come back. Y’all can listen to the playlist I have for witch noir here. Eventually I’ll split it up for character and/or scene mood, and I might add some scene suitable ambient noise tracks too.

18: One Song to Sum It Up    witch noir - Temptress, S.J. Tucker    romance legend - Take Me to Church, Neon Jungle    vampire tragedy - Bodies, Celia Pavey    girl gang - Weapon, Bastille & Angel Haze & FUGZ & Braque

19: Me There or Characters Here     …me there, I guess? In the romance legend, vampire tragedy, and girl gang not anything would really be different, but in the witch noir I’d probably have inherited some sweet powers. Not many of my characters are very friendly tho lmao.

20: Most Wanted Adaptation     Probably (a piece of) the witch noir. It’d be neat to actually see all those neat film noir lighting tricks.

21: Finish     Uh. I finish one shot porn a lot? lmao. Other than that, damn… no.

22: Made Myself Cry     lol yah

23: Proud or Anxious     usually I’m more proud, but sometimes when it’s something that’s very deeply personal or controversial I can get anxious.

24: When Did I Become a Writer     tbh sometimes I think I came out the womb that way. I don’t remember not being a writer, and I know I had legit novel ideas as early as like 3rd grade, and was making shit up with pretty words even earlier.

25: Must Reads in My Genre     three guesses what i’m bout to say y’all. Literally anything by Gaiman. Cornelia Funke’s Inkheart series. Any Pratchett. Donna Gillespe fucked me up with The Light Bearer. Bear Daughter by Judith Berman (although that is kind of a tough read, so I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it for everyone).

26: My Genre Needs More…     Diversity in general, specifically more people of color, queer people, and people with disabilities (that aren’t magically erased). Also in my opinion there needs to be more things in between grimdark and go-lucky fairytale.

27: Inspiration Source     History, anthropology, and pseudoscience.

28: Character Naming Stress from 1-10     Probably about a 2 or a 3. I use behindthename.com which can be searched for meanings, sound patterns, usage, and origin, and has a handy “name themes” search algorithm. I also recently found the legit U.S. census thanks to @peppersandcats helping me out with search terms, and that can be sorted by ethnicity, gender, time period, and geographical location. So I’ve got names pretty well covered!

29: Underwrite or Overwrite First Drafts     It could go either way, but generally speaking unless I have a word limit I usually like to add more during editing. Except when something is confusing or too complicated, then I’ll cut it.

30: Calming or Stressing      Not really either tbh. I enjoy it a lot, but it’s mostly exciting! Not calming or stressful, but either a fun adventure or a challenging puzzle.

31: Favorite Trope     Tough to pick just one tbh. I love tropes when they are done “right”. Even tropes done classically can be great (as long as they’re not -phobic of some sort), but I especially love when they are done satirically or inverted.

32: Backstories for Side Characters     Guilty af. Even characters that might not even make it into the finished book have backstories, personalities, and quirks.

33: Characterize Before Writing or Develop with The Story     A little bit of both. I like to have a solid character to work with at the beginning, but for in-text character development I like to let that unfold with the plot and the other characters.

34: Old Writing in One Word     Prolific

35: Villains or Heroes     I like them both pretty well, but my favorite characters of all time are always a little ambiguous so if I had to pick just one kind that’s what I’d go with.

36: B&W Morality     No way! I live in the gray area.

37: Advice     Have fun! Be proud of yourself for what you come up with and celebrate your creativity even if you think it doesn’t compare with other writers. The happier you are to create, the more creative you’ll get. Also, like with any other kind of art, pick a couple role models to emulate and that will help you develop your own solid style.

38: Advice I Fail At     The first draft doesn’t have to be perfect. I spend too long line editing while I’m writing my first draft and that makes it a lot harder to finish anything.

39: Importance of Positive Reinforcement     I’d say reasonably important. Definitely helpful. But I know I’ll keep writing even without it.

40: Question for Favorite Author     How much difference is there between how his creation is in his head versus how it came out in the words, and does he ever think about rewriting things that are long finished?

41: Distracting to Read While Writing     Actually, no. Reading other comparable works helps keep me motivated, inspired, and focused.

42: Motivated or Discouraged by Critiques     Tbh I don’t think I have ever received a real in-depth critique so I’m not certain? I’ve had idle “I liked this, but I didn’t like/understand that” type of feedback, and that has usually been pretty helpful and appreciated. If nothing else it lets me know what parts of the story might not be as accessible to an audience.

43: Protagonists in My Likeness     Yes, there’s a little of me in very many of my protagonists, and often even in fic characters that I write. But, like with other real people, they’re not usually modeled after me, we just have some stuff in common because I leak over into them (and sometimes they leak over into me) when I’m writing them.

44: Choosing An Idea      This is something I struggle with, really. My process is usually to try writing a bit of it, and if I hate it it’s probably not viable.

45: Harder or Easier While Stressed      It’s usually a harder to write when I’m stressed, and what I do manage to write doesn’t have as much quality.

46: Sort Protagonists      !!! There are too many!! these are just the Big Ones (so far) in witch noir      Gryffindor - toots, eddie, maddie, anca, seth      Hufflepuff - lily, charisma, s.j., angel, iris      Ravenclaw - fred, ariel, dido, father piero      Slytherin - evelyn, jessica, sloan, clara-claudia, aixa

47: Five Year Goal     Hopefully I will have fucking finished something. Maybe published? Or maybe getting my manuscript looked at. (I have a humble-ish time frame, I think. Writing is a lot of work, and five years is a lot less time than it sounds like.)

48: Co-Writing     I’m a huge control freak, so probably not. At least not with original characters. Maybe for fic tho, because that can be much lower stakes lmao.

49: Fast or Slow     When I’m in The Zone I speed thru, but it can take me a while to get started and I come up on blocks pretty often so I’m a slow finisher.

50: Worldbuilding or Characters     Shit man, that’s a tough choice. I guess characters? I don’t know.

[stuartka06-blog]

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