#you fucking idiot. i'm going to kill you

[pa-pa-plasma]

guy who was talking over the (critically acclaimed) show/movie & scrolling through his phone the whole entire time: yeah it was fine i guess. i don't get the hype

me: i am going to kill you in real life

[egophiliac]

do skully have pokemon?

Pumpkaboo is the obvious one, but y'know, sometimes the obvious one is the right one! (we'll say SUPER SIZE Pumpkaboo, just for fun. big pumpkin for big skeleton boy.) and another person actually also suggested Greavard, which I somehow hadn't considered, but feels so perfect that I feel like I should have. dangit.

(they can also have little Nightmare Suit costumes :D)

[beevean]

the hallmark of Peak Fiction is shoehorning a very serious conversation about a very serious past conflict in an unrelated scene, in the form of snarky banter played for laughs, so that the writer can pretend they listen to audience feedback, while not needing to fully think of addressing the issue and fully sweeping it under the rug because it would be inconvenient to paint the involved characters as dumbasses/vile. Bonus points if it literally goes nowhere and it can be removed from the scene without affecting the flow of the dialogue.

And if it makes me want to eat my own bones because I feel the urge to beat the involved characters to death with a nailed bat, that's just a plus :)

[memento-morri-writes]

This is far from my best work, but it's 1:30am, and I needed to get this down before I slept or lost my mind. So here, take a snippet of Rook seeing Zara again for the first time in 3 years.

Trying, and failing, to keep his voice from shaking, [Rook] said “Hello, Captain.” Mouth still open in surprise, [Zara] replied “Well, hello yourself.” The reality of what she was seeing seemed to hit her as she rounded the desk. “Rook, is that really you?” He nodded. “It’s me.” Zara ran towards him, stopping just short of touching him, and said “What did she do to you?” Rook’s heart stuttered and he had to brush his fingers together to confirm Sigmar’s ring was still in place. Could she possibly see through its illusion? But then he remembered what Lanny had said. She knew where you were. His throat clenched and he choked out “Two years.” A wave of grief swept across Zara’s face as she said “I’m so, so sorry.” Rook shook his head vigorously. “It’s not your fault.” Zara ignored him. “It is my fault. I failed you. As your captain, it’s my responsibility to keep you safe, and I failed you.” Rook wanted to say something, to reassure her, but she pushed on. “She sent me letters, told me all the terrible things she was doing to you. I… I let you down.” Those words hit Rook with the force of a dozen cannonballs. Lanny had said that Zara knew Wolf had him, but knowing that Zara had been aware of what Wolf was doing to him… somehow that was more painful than any wound Wolf had ever inflicted. He barely managed to force his next words out around the lump in his throat. “Where were you?” And why didn’t you come? “She said she’d kill you if I came to get you. Or if I hired anyone to get you. You’re standing here because I stopped sailing.” 

(honorary one-time tag for @space-writes bc I remember you enjoyed my other bits about Rook and Zara.)

[crimeronan]

possibly the funniest outcome of this drama-filled amity-thinks-luz-killed-hunter alternate princess AU timeline is all three of them being fine and together and safe, and hunter being like BLIGHT. you tried to MURDER LUZ????

amity: I THOUGHT SHE'D KILLED YOU!

hunter: .....I DON'T APPRECIATE THE CONFLICTING FEELINGS I'M HAVING RIGHT NOW,

[evilkitten3]

au where after shisui rips his eye out, stuffs it in a crow, and steps off the cliff, itachi instinctively uses the shunshin to catch him. now they're both alive and nobody has a mangekyou except danzou so they have to like actually deal with their problems and shit

[y-rhywbeth2]

Research Mystra. Bane is there.

Research Tiamat. Bane is there.

Research Shar. Bane.

Research Chauntea. BANE.

Research Selûne. B A N E.

[knightofleo]

[trans-yllz]

hey can random fucking strangers on the internet please stop recommending me ways to kill my own rats every time I have to put one to sleep

[zeroducks-2]

Baldur's Gate 3 Ending Spoilers Ahead :)

Okay why The Fuck can't we have a romance ending with the Emperor. Why THE FUCK NOT. WHY. THIS IS UNFAIR. LARIAN YOU ALLOWED ME TO FUCK THE GUY, YOU ALLOWED ME TO TRUST HIM AND BE THERE FOR HIM AND TURN INTO A MINDFLAYER MYSELF, AND THEN I CAN'T HAVE A ROMANCE ENDING? THE FUCK???

[californiaquail]

the other day we had a dog come in that very clearly did not want to be alive anymore and was completely checked out of existence and wouldn't even walk we had to stretcher it in and out on a towel. anyway the owners main concern was its arthritis ? but he thought carprofen had made the dog "crazy" before....so boss took some rads and labs and said ok you can try librela if you want....coworker and i both felt he did not impress strongly enough upon this man that his dog was literally and obviously dying. so he gave the librela and then the dog died the next day. so then i was overhearing today how he had to report it to the relevant authorities as a possible librela reaction. bad timing as everyone is currently freaking out about librela killing their dogs (btw boss opinion on that is basically that it's been given to so many thousands of animals that there's bound to be such cases where correlation ≠ causation). anyway the moral of the story is please do not force your animals to die of natural causes it is almost never anything but awful.

[leatherbookmark]

Randomly thinking about my sense of humour and how it comes off irl. Well and online too now that I think of it because online I suppose it's even harder to tell whether someone's joking or not. Specifically I think with the way I talk? Because like. I must've said multiple times that I write the way I talk (and talk the way I write, my voice is the exact same), and the way I talk is that very often when I'm trying to be humorous I'll just adapt a tone that I think is OBVIOUSLY not genuine (a villainous drawl or a slightly nervous bright titter), something so "this is me playing a role for your amusement" that I don't stop for a second to consider whether it landed or not.

(I'm also someone who picks up/gets attached to specific phrases, tones of voice or basically "ways of speaking" a lot and uses it for humorous purposes -- for example, little phrases like "such is/is such that", "but however", "alas!" that I feel are at this point (see, another thing: the word order) a part of the tumblr familect (?), this way of speaking in a quasi-archaic, quasi-elevated style about things that are very mundane just to be funny. That's my jam.)

And I feel like with my father it usually did? Because our senses of humour were very similar, but my mother's sense of humour is like... it's not good fellas... and the typical scenario between us is I'll say something sarcastically, she replies seriously, I, pained, go "that was a joke" to which she replies that of course she knows! But I know she's lying. And I guess she's a special case, but I've had several other-people-cases where I thought I was saying that was obvious sarcasm/doing a bit, but the other person reacted as though they took me seriously. Like, I don't know, something is fubar, I go "oh, wahoo! how lovely!" v e r y dryly and someone goes "well um I don't think that's good actually".

But it's rather difficult to figure out whether the other person understands you in terms of like, the message you're trying to convey; figuring out if they picked up on the nuances of tone and sarcasm is much more difficult, especially if you give of a Weird Vibe. :/

[mo-ok]

You look too much like me

To fight so much like him

Bonus friend typo that turned me into a lil chalk outline on the floor:

[nightmareonpeachstreet]

I am going to start stabbing people why the FUCK is it so hard to remove a fucking payment method these days

like jesus christ I'm trying to get rid of a card that is completely worthless now you don't have to call the fucking pope about it

[memento-morri-writes]

I've been thinking a lot about how Rook's reunion with his former mentor, Zara, is going to go, and since I can't predict what the DM is going to have her do or say, I can only dwell on what I know is going to happen. Which happens to include taking off the illusion ring that's been hiding his injuries from her. So have a snippet of the description I have planned for that moment:

tw for description of (mostly healed) injuries

He hesitates, twisting a ring on his finger. Looking at it more closely, she can tell it’s very finely crafted, and must have been very expensive. A large emerald is set into the band. Rook sighs, and pulls the ring off his finger in one quick motion.  Immediately she’s struck by the difference in his appearance as the illusion melts away. He looks awful. His warm, healthy skin fades to a dull and sickly grey. There’s huge bags under his deeply sunken eyes, and his cheeks are hollowed, as though they have been carved out by an overeager sculptor. He looks like he’s recently risen from the grave.  While he was thin before, now she can see his ribs under the skin, and his collarbones are exaggeratedly pronounce. Thin white lines left by dozens upon dozens of recently healed cuts are scattered across his body. On top of that, faded bruises cover most of his visible skin, a mottled mosaic of purple and yellow. They’re clearly days, maybe weeks old, and she can only begin to imagine what they must have looked like when fresh. Bandages are barely visible under his shirt, wrapping around his back, hinting at even more injuries.

[sherlock-is-ace]

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