#you fucked with the wrong mf bitch
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"we can't treat chronic things in the ER" yes i know i wouldn't trust you to diagnose me properly anyway but can you actually perform your basic job duties and fucking hydrate me without making me fight to get a fucking bag of I.V fluids going
#nurse flat out refused to get off me i went ''stop touching me'' and this bitch said ''no'' baby girl you directly violated my consent#i am gonna have a field day especially considering there were witnesses to this whole ER visit and the repeat violation of my rights#you fucked with the wrong mf bitch#once i am mentally stable for longer than two hours it's over for you bitches#dumb ass shit ☾☁️ ࣪ ִִִִִִִִֶֶֶֶֶֶֶֶָָָָָָָ⭒𓂃🐇
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I wish childhood friends were real…
#bakudeku#miritama#bkdk#I have them#but they all grew up to suck#one of them fucked me and never spoke to me again after 9 years of friendship💀#and the other one is just toxic#like sending me money unsolicited and then getting mad when I hang out with a different friend kinda toxic#and then guilt trips me into thinking I’m in the wrong for literally having friends kind of toxic#she gets mad if I take over an hour to reply#i won’t even lie I would’ve preferred a Katsuki Bakugou over this bs#cuz all he did was make fun of deku and tell him to khs#I already had like five people do that to me mf wouldn’t be special#like at least he grew into a better person#I could you not one of the guys that told me to kms as a kid is literally in jail rn for drug dealing#and one of the other ones texts me every few years to ‘see if I’m still a bitch…’#WE ARE 21??? OUR FALL OUT WAS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL??#maybe I’m the problem#or I just attract toxic people for whatever reason#anyways#puff rambles
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The fact I have to boot up totk AGAIN, honest to God yall after I make this one fuckass post it is au only I am not doing zelda discourse no more
#watching my own mutuals have bad faith takes on people who w#fucking agree with them and the way people are teying to pick out wording on something SO STUPID AND TRIVIAL is gonna dive me nute#NUTS ANYWAYS like the fact you have people trying to act like ezlo and navi are stupid and wrong and “didnt address eveything” is fucking#insane an obtoose like this is coming from bitches who have SEEN THEIR POSTS ON SIMILAR SUBJECTS BEFORE#like this all boils down to rynling was changing the plot to tp multiple diffrent times and calling people stupid for not subscribing to he#fanfic on what LITERALLY HAPPENED IN THE GAME#like i will adress all the shit around it IN DETAIL because i need it to go out as a HEY to my moots but like PLEASE GUYS I LOVE YALL WHAT#IS THIS#like sorry i said “we” when i should of said RYNLING#i didnt wanna be mean and tbh i do not care if i burn a bridge or piss them off#at this point but its crazy hoe many of you have shit talked her to me and then act like she didnt have a bad faith and like fucking insane#reading of what and i say again LITERALLY HAPPENED IN TWILIGHT PRINCESS#Something stupid big and im very tired of the vauge posting coming from people i like very much#like full on this shit js ridiculos and this is my final straw when it comes to zelda discussion. do not @ me#and ive hated direct comfrontation and shit and discorrse to begin with cuz it was usually some dumbfuck zelinker being RACIST#but apprently its now picking words apart. i will be as careful in my wording as possible but make no mistake this was about rynlings post#first and foremost and just getting things wrong about when the histoy of light and shadow line and just MIDNA in general#and its been conisistantly wrong since 2019 and mf yes im tag talking i aint taking up a dashboard#can you tell im very frustrated? im helping ezlo argue with white leftists who will ask you if you hate waffles when you say i like pancakes
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no guys you dont get it itager isnt sweet and tender in the domestic gay lovey dovey way theyre sweet and tender in the BRO way
#im a crazy bitch okay i will be like yes theyre lovey to eachother yes thats true#yes i only get gay and shit for itager bc theyre true love and then see something sappy and gay of them and go THAT AINT RIGHT#im a freak okay im such an asshole about itager bc i think theyre lovey to eachother in a very specific way and all other ways are cringe#me when the only itager i consume is the official goddamn hetalia manga#and them doujins made by corolla that mf was the only person ever who understood them (even if they were misguided and believed in gerita)#i like to think in my heart of hearts corolla knew the truth it was just the wrong time.#like how i know bill and ted wouldve loved touhou koishi song its just they were born in the wrong era#but yeah like germany and italy are gay in that BRO way like. its hard to describe but its not gay its more like.... friendship adjacent#like when you deeply care about your bro and act gay with them in that way they arent about that silently looks at the moonlight shit#they look at the moonlight and italy goes 'germany is right now a good time to tell you i fucked your car again' and germany goes 'What.'#ITS A BETTER AND MORE AWEZOME FORM OF LOVE IN MY HUMBLEST OF OPINIONS.... I PERSONALLY PREFER IT#its domestic in the way of having your average daily life of dicking around with your bros and throwing grenades in cars n shit#instead of domestic settling down and being all serious and sappy all the time#its lovey dovey in the way of being like AHAHA IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!! yeah bro... i really like you too *hug* im glad youre in my life#i just think thats so much more swag because settling down just does not sit right for me#i think settling down sucks tf you mean theres no more adventures and always sunny shit?#i think fruk can get into that settling down domestic shit but im a firm believer itager cant#because their entire dynamic hinges upon italy coming in and making germanys boring ass lonely life fun by ruining it everyday#its not itager if they arent grabbing eachothers balls and acting like bros#ive said this to wiener but its the itager itapan juxisposition#itapan (japans onesided crush ofc) is great because they act gay but are just bros#and itager is great because they act like bros but are gay#idk its hard to explain the nuances of it all but just trust me when i say canon content and corollas sfw doujins are the only true itager#content#robooty asshole moment sorry guys somethings wrong with me#robooty kun
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don’t mind me i’m just gonna yell about axel greylark in the tags
#sw#the high republic#cataclysm#cataclysm spoilers#the high republic spoilers#AXEL GREYLARK#AXEL F U C K I N G GREYLARK#BITCH I HOPE YOU GET WHATS COMING TO YOU#no i have not finished cataclysm but MF I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU#I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU SO FUCKIN HARD AND EVERY CHANCE YOUVE GOTTEN SO FAR YOU MAKE THE WRONG EFFIN CHOICE CMON MAN#GELLA LITERALLY TOLD YOU EXACTLY WHAT TO DO WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU#WHY DON’T YOU LISTEN!!!!#IDEC THAT YOU HAVE MOMMY ISSUES#THAT BITCH ASS MOTHER DOESNT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THAT#i swear if that mf doesn’t get a redemption arc i’ll be so upset#the death count is 1 so far and i’m scaredddddd#i don’t like that they keep alluding to gella dying like please for the love of GOD not gella#i can’t do it#not after kevmo
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Well I was wrong with that previous post.
Apologies for the vent, but Jesus fucking Christ this month has been awful. I had the absolute worst panic episode... thing in my entire life and I couldn't fucking function. I couldn't eat, sleep, use the bathroom, fucking anything. It was miserable and I felt like I was fucking dying the entire time. All I could feel was pure fucking fear, to a point where I couldn't even feel depressed for awhile. On the brightside, it's mostly calmed down now. Still sometimes get a little panicky when eating, but otherwise am doing okay now. What medication and learning basic calming down exercises do for ya, let me tell you.
Anyways, as for anything related to video production/writing, I'm slowly getting back on that ride. I gave up for awhile there, but have started taking notes again in prep for the next project. So far I got 3 pages worth of notes and am not even half way done with said note taking. I hope to get some more done soon, but I am gearing up to move very soon... so expect even more delays to actual video production yayyyyyyy I'm so sorry
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If there ever comes a day I die for someone
It would be for Khan academy
#I LOVE YOUU!!!!!!#khan academy i will fight for you#i was pulling my hair out like a mad bitch cos integration was fucking my head#khan academy my dear true love my saviour my shite in nining armor ahh!!#its a sublime feeling when you start to understand math#fuck my math teacher bro mf been teaching me wrong#khan academy
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Watching Saw for the first time, I'm being so incredibly mean to these characters right now.
#to be fair i think i have a right because they are so goddamn pathetic#this Adam guy throws like a fucking baby and has the catching skills of a goose on drugs#he has no athletic skill whatsoever look at this skinny ass mf and his shit throwing aim#and the idiot threw a SAW over to the person who's task it is TO KILL HIM#like wtf actually has to be wrong with you to give the person who is supposed to murder you a weapon and / or means of escape#hes a fucking idiot#and this doctor guy has to be so dramatic with the story of this fucking serial killer like JUST TELL US DAMMIT#just go “oh yeah this freakazoid put people in puzzle like situations where they end up killing themselves and i was a suspect at one point#but hes like definitely the one doing this shit to us“#you dont have to give us your whole life story guy#and the dude who came up to him as he was like “so the patient has blah blah” and went “his name is jim” or whatever generic white male nam#is so fucking annoying like really? thanks that was such necessary information that you really needed to tell me right this second.#you fucking piss bitch. you little fucking baby. his name could be greg for all i care. fuck off.#anyway thats just as far as ive gotten but i will update later#i just realized i mad ethe mistake of writing “who's” instead of “whose” now im a fucking idiot#saw#saw 2004
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#I SWEAR TO GOD IT HAD BEEN TOO LOMG SINCE LAST TIME I WANTED TO THROW HANDS WITH A TEACHER#THIS BITCH IS THE STUPIDEST MF I'VE MET#STUDENTS ASKING YOU TO ADD CLASS ACTIVITIES TO THE EVALUATION CRITERIA DOES NOT MEAN THEY HAVE TO DESIGN AND DO THEM#YOU'RE THE TEACHER#YOU HAVE TO DESING THE ACTIVITIES AND WE ANSWER/COMPLETE THEM#I SWEAR TO GOD I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU STILL HAVE A JOB IF YOU'RE SO FUCKING USELESS#IF ALL SEMESTERS YOU HAVE THIS KIND OF PROBLEM THEN DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONE IN THE WRONG HERE???
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LOVE AND DEEPSPACE NSFW THINK PIECE/DRABBLE
I’m depraved
Rafayel is the neediest. He’s got a lot of insecurities/abandonment issues from his first love and he def has an anxious attachment style. He’s also absolutely the type of person to be codependent (Hello?? “Join me let’s drown in the ocean together”????? Like, come on). He’s constantly trying to do every little thing with you, almost like he can’t breathe unless it’s air that’s already been filtered through your lungs.
However, all big baby behavior™️ considered, he definitely knows how to woo you. I feel like since he’s Lemurian and also an artist, he only knows how to love a person in the most deeply devoted and romantic way. He’s also very careful with his heart and who he gives it to, once he decides it’s truly and solely yours that’s it. There’s no one else. But you also have to honor that with proper care, he’s very sensitive.
Anyway, I feel like he fucks in a way that’s slow, very sensual. The kind of love making where he takes over all of your senses, all you can feel is his touch, all you can smell is his sweat and cologne, all you can taste is him on your tongue, and all you can see and hear are his face and the sweet words of devotion he whimpers in your ear.
He’s also very easy to rile up.
Zayne is boring to me. Like I get the appeal he’s very hot and he’s also very stable (in a romantic sense) and healthy but I just can’t fantasize about that. Like yeah he’s a busy ass surgeon who will always make time for you no matter what and he’s super devoted and always caring for you in little ways, but also mf will make you take a water break during sex if you’re too wet bc he doesn’t want you to get dehydrated. Im done.
Honestly I think I’m biased against him bc the way he talks to MC just reminds me of this horrid man I met at a bus stop once who immediately started trying to tell me what to do/give me life advice. I get Zayne is qualified and the guy at the bus stop was not but idc if y’all want me to put effort into writing for him ur gonna have to submit it into the requests baby, moving on.
SYLUS. I feel like everybody thinks he’s just some big ol’ nasty freak but they’re WRONG. THEYRE WRONG ABOUT HIM.
Don’t get me wrong he’s definitely fucking tweaking when you first meet him, like just going apeshit off the bat with no context for us. But also? Once you get to know him? Bitch I’ll kill for that man you do not know. This mf drops everything for you.
Important arms deal he’s been trying to set up for a year or going to the arcade with you to get plushies out of a claw machine? Deal = cancelled
The fearless leader of the N109 zone who blows up anyone who perturbs him slightly. MF contributes 50% of the carbon in the atmosphere alone with the amount of shit he literally actually blows up with bombs. But you? You may break into his house and handcuff him to his bed in his sleep while trying to steal a brooch off of him. he doesn’t give a fuck. he’s in love with you. Set his house on fire! He won’t care! He’ll just buy a new one!
As rough as he is around the edges he’s completely smitten. “You should know I adore you. There is no love purer than mine.” Like girl don’t fucking play with me. Is he mentally ill? Absolutely. But he is so devoted, so careful with you. “I’m never annoyed when we do things together.” It’s literally like he’s learning how to be a human being for once and he doesn’t care about losing the coldness or sharpness he once had because you’re more than enough to replace any absence the loss of those thing may bring. He knows he’s getting soft and doesn’t care. He doesn’t try to stop it. To kill for you is nothing to him. Not even a second thought. He kills all the time. But he would never harm again if the violence ever came in between you two.
And I think that dedication, that devotion totally translates itself into how he makes love to you. He’s definitely a filthy talker, I think he says some NASTY shit during sex, just because he likes seeing you squirm and feel how your skin gets hot from his words. But I don’t think he likes hurting you. He wouldn’t do anything to harm you. He’ll spank you yeah, and he’ll tap or squish your cheeks to get your attention. But he only wants to bring you pure, carnal pleasure when it comes to sex. If you even think “that feels good” he’s like a dog with a bone. You get no rest when he’s there you only get mind-numbing pleasure. He’s a tease, he’ll poke lighthearted fun at how loud you’re being, ask you who you think can hear you two while you’re being nasty. But he knows you. He knows what you love, what gets you off, and he cares to learn all of this because of how much he loves you God I’m SICK
Xavier is filthy. That man laps up your pussy like a thirsty dog. The freakiest nastiest mf out of all of them. He won’t show any sexual prowess or interest for months I think. I’m not sure he’s even aware of his powers. Your relationship will literally be based around his chaotic sleeping “schedule” (that shit is not a schedule) and relaxing between missions together. All things considered, you guys spend almost every waking (and sleeping) hour together. Work, dates, naps, eating, it’s almost always together.
It’s not until he hears you getting hit on all night that his composure finally starts to crack.
Three months of the sweetest, purest boyfriend you could ever ask for. Your sweet silly boy, who starts silently pouting all night. It’s not until you two finally find a hotel to stay at for the night, that he finally starts loosening up.
“I’m not a young fool, you know. I don’t take what’s in front of me for granted” he quotes the guys hitting on you earlier, which he heard through your ear piece. Then he recites every time another guy hit on you while you two were on your mission. He’s a jealous jealous jealous boy. He HATES other guys vying for your attention. It just makes him want to whisk you away and bounce you on his dick so loud that every other guy can hear it. When he feels jealousy, he feels the need to mark, claim, devour you so no one else can try and steal you. He gets himself worked up. Stewing and agonizing over the thought and the memory of another guy trying to get to you so much that he can’t even think of sleeping. He gets completely taken over by the urge to have your every reaction solely based on him and what he gives you. I think he fights off these feelings for a long time, up until the protocore mission in the misty invasion memory. He just barely keeps it together until you’re rubbing all over him, pulling him closer to whisper his name in his ear, he just can’t take it. He needs to hear you say it louder. He needs everyone to hear you say his name.
He fucks you so sloppy, the kind of man who does not care what means he has to use as long as the end is what he wants. He wants you covered in marks of his making, he wants you to smell like him, he wants you to have trouble walking the next day, and he wants that asshole who tried hitting on you at work to ask you “what’s wrong? You look like you’re having trouble walking”
And as soon as the guy asks that you look over to Xavier, who has the most pleased little shit eating grin on his face.
The craziest part is that after he gets it all out of his system he’s back to being the little innocent sweet boy. But you know his secret, and he likes that you know it.
#sylus love and deepspace#love and deepspace#lads#lads sylus#lads zayne#lads rafayel#lads xavier#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace smut#love and deepspace x mc#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace sylus#lads smut
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Tits TyPa Man you ask? - sukuna
He is the epitome of "tits are the greatest invention, creation, whateva 'tion' just, tits are life" there's not a single day he is leaving without.. touching your tits, flicking your nipples or pinching them, squeezing them, biting them, or digging his long nails into your nipples and the flesh of your tits.
🍈 " you keep talking and giggling, and those milk monsters go boom boom on me brat!" yeah, that's the king of curses right there talking, like a toddler. Like wtf is boom boom?
🍈 when you weren't sukuna's gf or even wife, like the very first time you met him, girl. He wasn't even looking at your face. His eyes, were stuck on your.. titties. His face told that, he was wondering how your breasts looked like under your tshirt
🍈 he thought himself to be into ass, as with the amount of concubines he had slept with in the past. And that's when he totally went wrong when you walked towards him.. well not exactly towards him you walked past him when he saw you for the first time ever. His eyes got stuck on those magnificent 'boom boom' of yours. For the first time he doubted himself.. " i was.. into ass right? ....right? "
🍈 it's so normal now, his hands resting on your chest, not even in a sexual way.. just, laying on em, yeah it's his property, you just lucky enough to have tits attached to your body but it's .. his. He is the owner. You wanna take a bath? Sure, he'll be the one to wash, massage your breasts. He'll be the one to put the lotion on your titties, help you wear a bra and any dress. Why? Cuz you (your boobs) belong to him you stupid.
🍈 when you guys had sex for the first time, when he saw your glory, for the first time, your tits for the first time.. his 4 eyes snapped. He paused.. like *sukuna.exe stopped working* his four giant palms immediately kneading your tits simultaneously, like his movements were soo sloppy, inexperienced despite sleeping around with so many concubines, that is because no woman has ever tempted him the way you did. And yes, you changed him, you changed the king of curses completely. You made the ass guy turn into tits guy. "Fuck, these tits are gonna make my silk black sheets turn into white" and then, automatically he got the breeding kink, the thought of you getting pregnant?
🍈 sukuna threw your birth control and began to fuck you like a bitch in heat. Why? Cuz your tits would have milk. Simple. That's all what you lacked. What's the purpose.. of these gorgeous tits when it can't produce milk.. right? So he is being generous enough and planting his seeds in each round, making sure you womb is swollen. Your milk ain't belonging to his future child.. nah, it's his. His alone. Mf is jealous of his own child.
🍈 his favourite position? Missionary or you riding him. Why? TITS. he'll need your tits to stay motivated and keep fucking you. The bounce? The jiggle? The sounds? The perky nipples? Those areolas? The squishiness? Oh YEA
🍈 sukuna would always roll his tongue around your areolas, while his second mouth would be biting, digging those sharp canines in your other breast, he once bit your nipple so harsh, that made u bleed.
🍈 despite sukuna never caring for anyone, he cares immensely for you. He instantly began to give up, trying his best to remove this addiction to your tits. He loves you so why is he acting like some perv only blinded by your tits? Well, his will didn't even lashed 2 days and here again he is sucking your tits on the kitchen counter, your apron and tshirt thrown somewhere.
🍈 "you're the only woman who is... Making me get on my knees" sukuna isn't a man to show vulnerability.. but if showing his vulnerable nature makes you stay with him. Oh yes, he is ready to become a sub. He is too into you, drowned basically, and now he can't resist anymore.
🍈 while he sleeps, he'll unconsciously end up getting between your arms.. his face squished and pressed on your tits.. ocassionally licking and sucking your nipples and tits. Oh yes, you sleep naked. That's your relationship rule.. you can't sleep wearing something. You must sleep naked. He'll wake up, between your arms, pressed against your tits, and again begin his session of sucking titties. Yeah, that's his ritual. You can't stop him.
🍈 he is in some meeting? His subjects are busy talking? Yeah let em talk! He has your sitting on his lap while he is sitting on his lap. His 1 hands resting on your tits. Yeah, and if any of his subjects looks at you? Instantly "cleave" attack. Also, he likes to demonstrate his powers and show you how... You belong to him and if.. anyone even looks at you the way he does.. he gets pissed, super pissed. Like not even any enemy or opponent can piss him off more then if he catches any men or even women being tooo into you or your beauty. Just, not possible. You're only his. His alone. You can't even count on how many lives he has taken for you. Both men and women, he had killed just because they stared at u for longer then necessary, or tried to approach you. Also, you don't even know that he had killed anyone for you cuz.. how can he let his precious wifey know about his wrong doing.. right? He only shows his upper layer or a coating of his powers.. just to keep you under him. He can't think of traumatising you by showing his real doings. You're too precious.. also your tits.
#smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jujutsu kaisen smut#sukuna smut#sukuna#sukuna x reader#sukuna ryomen x reader#sukuna ryomen#ryomen x reader#jjk ryomen#ryomen sukuna#sukuna ryomen smut#sukuna ryoumen x reader#jjk sukuna
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BASED?!?!??!?! ABSOLUTELY UNDENIABLY BASED?!?!?!? OH MY GOD???? I AM NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THE FANDOM WHO THINKS LIKE THIS?????! NO ACTUAL FUCKING WAY??!??!?! INCREDIBLY RARE W FOR THE DANGANRONPA COMMUNITY
The Curious Case of Makoto Naegi and Sayaka Maizono...
My opinion, haters can hate I don't block. :3
"Sayaka liked Makoto because he was a good person!" Wrong. It was because he was the protagonist. Their relationship was SHALLOW. And Makoto treated her and Leon terribly. "The 11037 password is for both of them!" Erm...? He only mentioned it being SAYAKA! Despite Leons name BEING 11037. Like stfu about Hope and Optimism and treat your dead classmates with respect. Sayakas only part in the plot was to die for shock. She could've had some kick-ass development focusing on her psychic ability. We could get a trial where Makoto fails and needs Sayaka to slow the truth bullets down. She'd say "Keep going Makoto, I believe in you! Just focus on their voice." and Naegi would turn super-sai-an, and speed through the bullets. Like fuck Makoto bro he gave us egg jokes and a false sense of trust in Byakuya. Sayaka could've given us more... depth to the trials.
Fuck Makoto but thanks for staying and reading my first official post!
#sayaka maizono#makoto naegi#nae nae bitchass mf#leon kuwata#danganronpa#sayaka bb i am so sorry you were used as a plot device for naegi's “character development”#and leon i am SO SORRY that your death wasn't even fucking acknowledged 💀#makoto cutting his words off in the trial just when he was about to defend himself#after celeste said those things to him#only for makoto to say “ermmmm it's all the mastermind's fault actually 🤓☝️”#but like#that's all talk and no show#i hope kanon stomps on you makoto like genuinely#you bitchass motherfucker#leon is never treated the same way as sayaka#“they're equally in the wrong” doesn't work when they were never treated equally#read the motherfucking manga guys#it's the only official material that properly explains what happened#because makoto nae nae couldn't be bothered to learn more 🤡#fuck you makoto#“oh naegi-knu ur so kind and selfless for rescuing that bird one time” bitch#that was a JOB given to HIM#by the SCHOOL#he didn't do it out of the kindness in his heart
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Can I request a headcanon of whb kings and gn mc going to the human world and meeting mc's toxic ex
WHB kings meeting MC's toxic ex
⟡ Masterlist ⟡
A/N: Accidentally wrote this with a male ex in mind, so sorry if you wanted to see female ex U.U
Warning: There's a lot of swearing from the ex :D (I don't normally have the need to warn about this but I did kinda run loose this time)
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
Make sure to explain to Satan that ther are laws and he can't just kick people as he wishes to when he's visiting you on Earth
But that doesn't stop him, really
So the moment your ex stops you while you've both just walking down a street and starts angrily going on about how quickly you moved on (it's been more than a year) and exchanged him for some short ass mf, Satan's already dragging him into the nearest back alley and having a "word" with him
There's no guarantee the ex will ever leave the back alley on his own - if even
Ngl, it's kinda hot to imagine :D
༺☆༻
Just a calm, normal day of Mammon treating you to a café date
Then suddenly a hand lands on the small table between the two of you
Yep, it's your toxic ex
'Seriously?! You broke up with me just to become some cheap sugar baby slut?'
So... Apparently your ex didn't miss the quiet luxury outfit on Mammon memo and thinks you're after his money
Before you get to speak up to your own defense, Mammon starts laughing
Your and your ex's heads snap in his direction
'Yeah, you think it's funny, asshole? This bitch is a goddamn golddigger!'
Mammon stops laughing and gets up
You can only see the horror in your ex's eyes as the mountain of a demon starts towering over him
"I'd really appreciate if you didn't talk about my fiancé like that. If you must know, they are the one making more money than me."
Mammon didn't even get to finish his second sentence and your ex is gone, vanished
༺☆༻
You're in some expensive store, picking out some new clothes for yourself to wear to some event that Leviathan's taking you to as a date
Coming out of a changing room, you do a little twirl to show your outfit to him
As Leviathan's hands smooth down over your curves, appreciating how the clothes complimetn your body, your toxic ex appears
'Hey fucker, hands off my gf/bf!'
Your ex grasps Leviathan's bicep and tries to pull him away from you
Levi only gives you a tired look
"Y/N, why is this cretin touching me?"
As you eyes widen, the shock stops you from making any sound
'You think you're being funny? I'll fucking kill you, dickhead!"
"Ah, I see..."
You and Leviathan agreed to not have him use his abilities so you don't get into trouble and possibly expose Levi as a demon
But this is a special case
So Levi turns to your ex and whispers "Choke"
And the next second, your ex is gasping for air, falling to the ground, meanwhile you and Levi try and get you changed bakc into your normal clothes so you can pay and leave ASAP
༺☆༻
A cute dinner date, what could go wrong?
It was kinda hard for Beelzebub to eat like a human and not shovel food into his mouth like he normally would
When your second course arrived, Beel stopped for a second
...?
That's odd...
"Hey mister waiter, this food smells interesting... Can you tell me why does this food smell like - what you guys call - rat poison?"
What. The. Fuck?
You freeze and look at Beel across the table
He's looking at the waiter with that smile of his that tells you he knows more than he's sharing
And then you look at the stuttering waiter
Fuck
That's your toxic ex
"B-Beel, what do you mean rat poison?!"
"It seems to me, our mister waiter gave us an extra ingredient into our food before bringing it here"
Beelzebub gets up and grabs your ex by his chin
The whole situation escalates to the point where your ex gets arrested for attempted murder
༺☆༻
On the rare occasion when Belphie isn't sleeping his day away, you both find yourself on some local version of comic con
You both decided to cosplay your favorite characters from a Hentai you both enojoy
It's a bit niche, but you guys were okay with that
But then from one of the booths emerges your toxic ex
'Ah, so I had to fight tooth and nail to at least get to see your tits once, but now you're just gonna whore yourself around?'
Your eyes dart to Blephie, but he's looking somewhere else, possibly dozing off standing up despite telling you he wouldn't
"May-"
You don't even get to say anything when your ex slaps you hard
That gets Belphie's attention and he's more awake than ever before
Normally, he's probably tell Beleth to kill that guy, but he's not there with you
So now Belphie has to be the one to deal wiht this nuisance
"M'kay, I'm giving you three seconds to skedaddle before I turn you into minced meat."
Your ex just starts to laugh, but doesn't get to for long since a black fog surrounds him and makes him disappear for good
Why bother with prolonging his inevitable end? Besides, Belphie is getting tired and you two still have a lot of things to check out
༺☆༻
I'm not even gonna introduce a scenario
It's not like you can even go outside with Asmo without having him get hard from something
But
If Asmo had to deal with your toxic ex, he'd go the I fucked your mom way
Which he probably actually did at some point
That would explain that absolute fatherless behavior of your ex during your relationship
༺☆༻
You and Lucifer are at a pharmacy, partially because you got a minor scratch on your elbow from *cough cough* but also because Lucifer is interested in what kinda of medicine humans have
And then you run into your ex with a broken hand who immediatelly starts going off to you about how messy you look and how you'll never find anyone again since even getting together with him was a charity on his part
You don't look messy at all
Okay, maybe your hair is a bit messy and and your outfit is a bit wrinkled plus you walk with a bit of a tiny limp, but that's because you did find someone else
You're aboutt o answer swomething witty, maybe even poke fun at your ex fro getting his hand broken, but Lucifer beats you to it:
"Excuse me, if I may chime in as a professional in the medical field, there seems to be a condition with your broken limb. If you keep saying such stuff to my partner, I'm affraid you'll find that your other hand is also broken, if not more of your bones. Should this condition escalate, your condition might turn lethal."
Your ex blinks, trying to process what Lucifer even said, but at that point you're both walking away while you're trying so hard to not burst out laughing
#what in hell is bad#what in “hell” is bad?#whb satan#whb mammon#whb leviathan#whb beelzebub#whb belphegor#whb asmodeus#whb lucifer
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Give me Choso or Suguru smut headcannonsssss🐱🐱
i chose to do suguru but ill do choso anothertimr bc i love my baby 😔
SUGURU HEADCANNONS —
this man is THE munch
he eats pussy like it's life or death ur honor 🫡
spit, tears, all of it.
he's a nasty bitch. YOUR nasty bitch
omg speaking of dirty names
please call this man "mister" or "sir" and watch his dick SPRING to full attention because ma'am you playing a dangerous game here
"what's wrong, sir? you look a little pale" yeah bc all his blood just rushed to his dick at once
but ofc he calls u names right back!!
he strikes me as a "mama" type of guy (especially when he's nutting inside u bc he's "gonna make you a mama")
he also loves to put "my" behind everything. "my wife" "my slut" "my perfect girl" you get it.
very possesive so watch yourself
while we're on the "watch yourself" topic..
i think he's a bit of a lazy fucker tbh, letting you tell him how or where you want him. he doesn't mind, really. hes fucking for your pleasure
this man has cameras and mirrors galore please dont play. cant even go through one of those mirror mazes at the fair because it reminds you too much of him
yeah pleasuredom!suguru who doesn't even engage sex until you practically sit on him naked because he's always so busy and tired
please suck this man off he's so physically exhausted and horny it could bring him to tears
OMG SPEAKING OF TEARS
he loves crying. doesnt matter if its you or him (though he feels like if he didnt make you cry of pleasure he didn't do his job)
and this mf is hefty so when he cries his chest and stomach heave n sum mo shi
which is honestly cool if u happen to be riding his abs while jerking him off or smth idk..👀
written by @shhuuga [08/24/24] all rights reserved. do not copy, steal or translate my writing.
#🍬.txt#🍬.shhuuga#geto suguru#jjk suguru#getou suguru x reader#geto x black reader#geto x reader#geto smut#jjk geto#jujutsu geto#geto x black y/n#geto x black reader smut#jjk x chubby reader#jjk x black reader#jjk x reader smut#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen x black reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut
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That would even had been a horror game with an evil dude who trapped people in a hotel. It would have been: psycho dude made his worste and last mistake bringing these chaotic bitches here.
JUST IMAGINE.
They find the dolls and Jason already grabbing the candle holder and goes *Arrigth fuckers we are innit now*
They don't even need weapons Salim and Nicky could snap Du'Mets neck WITH THEIR THIGHS, Jason's chokehold is lethal (did yall see his armsss???)
Rachel would just go mayhem doing a John Cena at poor dude, probably yeeting a table at him.
And Eric.....well Eric would light him on fire👀
Imagining the cast of House of Ashes being trapped in Du’Met’s murder hotel.
Strikes me very much as “We’re not trapped in here with you, you’re trapped in here with us” situation.
#i watched a playthrough and aside from getting a heartattack from the jumpscares and being natural spooked by the eery place--#i would have beat that mf so bad with a chair like fuck no you wont doing Saw with me my dude you chose the wrong balkan bitch to mess with#they would have went on him HARD💀💀lmfaooo#the dark pictures anthology#house of ashes#the devil in me
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take a look at my girlfriend !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which she's everything and he's just her proud boyfriend.
or
for when they're your everything. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // lando norris x fem!reader
warnings - language
author's note - when i said i was back on my writing grind i MEANT it
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, lukehemmings and 682,826 others
yourusername his cringe behaviour has me captivated
5,987 comments
username MOTHER?????
username not my wife trying to soft launch man what is this
username THE LAST SLIDE??????? HELLO??????? WHAT THE FUCK
username im.
username the first photo i died y'all
-> username she can break me in half and i'll thank her js saying
francisca.cgomes the first photo, i am looking (respectfully)
-> yourusername it's there only for u bébé
username SHE'S SO ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username rockstar gf
username i want her sooooooo bad
username babe drop his @ we won't hurt him i swear
-> username damn who's we
-> username right like im gonna curb stomp that mf
username y/n i thought u were for the girls and the gays ://///
-> yourusername i am dw child
lukehemmings tell your bf to stop spamming us, we CANNOT give him a private concert at 4 in the morning
-> yourusername he just wants to hear she looks so perfect
-> lukehemmings basic bitch
-> landonorris WOAH OKAY
*comment deleted*
username lando in the likes i see u pineapple boy
username we lost her huh
username this has devastated me (im so happy for her)
username never though i'd see y/n soft launch her relationship 😭😭😭
landonorris nah i think he's kinda cool
-> yourusername he's okay
-> landonorris just okay???
-> yourusername no he's more than that
-> landonorris go on 😏
-> yourusername he's okayish
-> landonorris 😐
-> username WHAT IS GOING ON
-> username did i miss a whole fucking chapter or something.
username thinking thots rn
username if i lose my wife to a vroom vroom mutation i will literally get so violent
username babe it's okay ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ u can come home now ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ kids and the cats missed u ❤️❤️❤️❤️
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by yourusername, pierregasly, carmenmmundt and 796,451 others
landonorris my girl my girl my girl
7,982 comments
username SORRY WHAT
username IM GONNA CRY
username oh my god
username ngl that looks like y/n
-> username now that ur saying it................
-> username no.
-> username i refuse to accept it
username THE CAT
-> username not trying to alarm anyone but that looks like y/n's cat
-> username fr like u cannot tell me that it's NOT marshmallow
-> username SO off topic but i love that fact that y/n (🖤🗿🎱🎧📼) named her cat marshmallow (💓🍧🍬💒🧶)
username i simply refuse to accept that im losing both of my parasocial relationships
carlossainz55 trust us, we KNOW
-> landonorris you're gonna continue to do so :D
-> username lando using ":D" WHO GOT HIM LIKE THAT
username just wanna know who's love got him singing we fell in love in october
username if that's y/n then im giving up :)
charles_leclerc i want that cat
-> landonorris it's yours i hate that demon
-> username NAHHH NOT LANDO SHITTING ON MY CHILD
-> username 🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺 stay back 🤺🤺🤺 i will protect marshmallow with my life 🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺
username lando norizz is proving to be kinda wrong here haha
username i just know he's down BAD for her
lilymhe the only reason i follow you is cause of your gf
-> landonorris unfollow me NOW
-> lilymhe no.
username this is y/n idc let me be delulu
-> username no bc i kinda agree with u like
-> username I KNOW LIKE THESE PHOTOS ARE SO Y/N CORE
yourusername need to adopt that cat asap
-> landonorris that's not a cat, that's whatever was let out of pandora's box
-> yourusername boy i will block u
-> username NOT Y/N ACTING LIKE THAT'S NOT HER CAT
-> username honestly give up y'all we KNOW
≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱
landonorris added to their instagram stories
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, landonorris and 778,427 others
yourusername an idiot but i love this idiot
tagged landonorris
6,927 comments
username I FUCKING KNEW OMG
username THEY'RE SO
username i love them sm what the fuck
username honestly my favs
username IM SO HAPPY AHJSJSJSSJJSJS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username "men r bad men are nasty but this one is ok" she's so real for this
-> username my queen spoke nothing but facts
-> username this is so y/n of y/n
lilymhe an idiot (derogatory)
-> yourusername an idiot (affectionate)
-> landonorris how about you both stop calling me an idiot??? how's that???
username he's so bf omg
username lando norris i am in your walls
-> username im under his bed
-> username im hiding behind his door
-> username im in the closet
-> username we love u ❤️
-> username i meant literally u dumbfuck
-> username oh
-> username stfu i am in his bathroom
-> landonorris i am unsafe
username this is so chaotic and im here for every minute of it
username FUCK YEAH SOFT LAUNCHES ARE OVERRATED ANYWAYS
danielricciardo you should've seen the look of panic on his face, truly a sight to behold
-> yourusername his 2628182837 texts saying "i done fucked up" kinda gave me an idea
username < them 3
username do y'all need a dog??? i can bark
usernames SOMEONE GET ME A BF RN ISTG
carmenmmundt cutest 🤍
*liked by yourusername*
username lando ur catching these hands
username need to pray to whichever god lando prayed to 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
username im LIVING for the lando content we're being fed rn
landonorris me and the bitch i pulled by being mean to her
-> yourusername what did u say
-> landonorris me and my very amazing beautiful ethereal breathtaking hot angelic gorgeous pretty cute adorable gf whom i love and respect very much ☺️❤️
landonorris i loveeeeeee u
-> landonorris please take the demon child, i mean marshmallow, away from me
-> yourusername no ❤️
-> yourusername (i love u)
username im gonna cry what the fuck i need this kinda love
username HSHDJAKSHDHAKKASJJSHSA
-> landonorris same
username love to see lando grovelling ❤️
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by yourusername, lilymhe, charles_leclerc and 897,627 others
landonorris take a look at my girlfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!! (❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️)
tagged yourusername
8,926 comments
username PLEASE I WANT HER SO BAD
username just one chance y/n i swear
username don't be shy lando fuck off go on do it
username came here for lando stayed for y/n 💪💪💪
username love a man who's just pathetic little baby girl and his gf who's EVERYTHING
*liked by yourusername*
-> username THIS.
username THE QUOTE OH MUCHOD
username HOW did u pull her
-> username this is MY generation's bermuda triangle
-> username LMFAOOOOO
username lando norizz but he actually pulled 🙏🙏🙏
-> username this revelation needs to be scientifically studied
username i love how half the comments section is thirsting for y/n and the other half is just straight up bullying lando
charles_leclerc we beg you, stop it we KNOW
-> landonorris no
username nah bc the grid being sick of him being in love is sending me 💀💀💀💀💀
username SHE'S SO ETHEREAL
username i love her sm
username lando just so u know *our girlfriend
username IM GOING FERAL OVER THIS OMGAIHAAJK
username goodnight.
lilymhe MY girlfriend but alright
-> francisca.cgomes real like he's forgetting something
-> carmenmmundt honestly
-> alexandrasaintmleux i know like *our* girlfriend
-> yourusername my loves 😘😘😘
-> landonorris wow..
username they're so ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
username someone find me someone like this i beg
username need to know how they met bc they couldn't be more opposites 💀💀💀💀
lewishamilton so happy for you mate 💜!!
*liked by landonorris*
username on my knees for this woman and for this woman only
username just one chance pls 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
username i see how kind god has been to others
yourusername i better be the only one u got
-> landonorris take a look at my girlfriend she's the only i got
-> yourusername that's better ☺️
yourusername love u loverboy
-> landonorris who
-> yourusername *i love u loverboy
-> landonorris 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
-> danielricciardo oh no he's lagging again
-> yourusername just give him a min
username IM SO NORMAL ABT THEM I SWEAR I AM
username sliding down the wall fr cannot believe he bagged my wife
username wow.
#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 imagines#social media au#fake instagram imagines#lando norris blurb#lando norris imagine#lando norris imagines#lando norris x reader#lando norris#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x you#lando norris insta au#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff
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