#you ever stumble into a show a decade late? lol

[laputaskies]

Before this night is through, I will find my grail. One more pure freak to add to our unhappy number.

[sexlapis]

[◉°] … LEVI & Y/N BEING A COUPLE FOR 10 MINUTES STRAIGHT … 900k views

⪩　 　  ₊　    🌸 　 　✧ 　 　⁺

꩜ actor!levi x gn!actor/actress!reader

⤷ they’re called delusional all the time, but your fans just know that leviyn is real!

sfw, fluff, protective levi, mean fans (comments on weight), swearing, unwanted groping (this is mostly happy i swear), violence (levi ofc), use of ‘brat’ (cliche i know)

a/n: i missed my man. this is the most ideas i’ve ever had for this little series lol.

masterlists

from the actor!character series:

actor!toji masterlist

actor!nanami & y/n being a couple

*

꩜ first clip

after a decade long run, the successful series of ‘attack on titan’ had finally come to an end, and behind the scenes interviews of all the cast members were released.

it’s really no surprise that levi’s interview gained the most attention & popularity.

“it was an honour working with such great and talented people for ten years and i look forward to the legacy that this series will leave. i have no regrets about partaking in this show and i will forever feel it’s impact.”

the interviewer lets levi’s meaningful answer marinate for a few moments, before completely ruining the effect with just one question.

“which of the cast members will you miss working with the most?”

levi clears his throat, eyes squinting, “i..i will miss working with all of them…obviously.”

“it’s y/n though, right? i mean, isn’t she your favourite?”

levi blinks at the interviewer behind the camera.

the interview cuts to behind the scene clips of you and levi; of levi grudgingly giving you a piggy back ride, to you surprise kissing him on the cheek and running away while he blushes and scowls, letting you steal his food and to the most recent one, of the last day on set where he finally accepts your request to give him a hug after ten whole years.

levi looks back to the camera, “no. no, i don’t have “favourites”.”

꩜ second clip

a blurry TMZ clip of you stumbling out of the after party of an awards show (you and levi both left empty handed) with levi by your side, making sure you didn’t fall over.

he wears his slacks and his white, button up shirt and his suit jacket appears to…be worn by you?

you walk like a baby deer, babbling and giggling inaudibly in levi’s ear. he just nods at you, only mildly annoyed and focuses on holding onto your waist to make sure you don’t topple over.

a patent, black limousine pulls up in front of the both of you and levi opens the back door and helps you in, despite your drunken objections. he guides you in by the top of your head, making sure you don’t hit it on the car ceiling and gets in after you before the it drives away.

꩜ third clip

you, sasha and connie make a late appearance to an ‘attack on titan’ cast interview, being more than 20 minutes late (that being all sasha’s fault).

“and- oh, look who finally decided to show up!” exclaimed jean as you and your peers make your late arrival.

the cast cheers and applauds your trio sarcastically, you’re a little embarrassed but connie and sasha revel in the attention, mock bowing and blowing kisses.

you stroll over to where levi sits, with his arms folded and legs crossed.

you look at him.

he looks at you.

“what?” he asks in his default mood of annoyance. “there’s no space here.”

“yeah there is.” you responded, your eyes dropping down to his lap.

levi pauses, his mouth opening and closing like a fish, his face painted with an expression of incredulousness.

and then he sighs in utter exhaustion, giving in and spreading his legs. you smile gleefully, plopping your full weight in his lap.

despite his ‘annoyance’, you both sit like this for the rest of the interview.

and all of your fans are just both so confused and so happy. because they were not prepared for levi, ever so stoic and astute, to just allow you to sit on him and just accept it.

you’re going to make him go grey early.

꩜ fourth clip

a fan recording of you and levi attending NY fashion week and just as you both stand up and begin to take your leave, you are stopped a handsome gentleman.

he speaks to you animatedly, and you smile and laugh with him.

levi on the other hand…is not so friendly.

he simply glares at this random man, unblinking, arms crossed and he seems to be impatient and…maybe a certain other emotion?

the conversation comes to a close. the stranger gives you a small business card and you thank him and say goodbye. the man also waves to levi, but levi simply responds with a stiff nod and walks away with you.

you both walk through the crowd. you turn to him, looking at his face, and you wrap your arm in his one, leaning on you and smiling. he visibly sighs and relaxes, discreetly rubbing your hand with his own.

꩜ fifth clip

you and levi are at a new years event, along with other actors and actresses, including the ones from ‘attack on titan’.

it is ten minutes before new years, and it is freezing - it is 3°C at most.

you and historia are huddled together, absolutely shaking and teeth chattering in the cold.

that’s until levi walks towards the two of you and appears to notice your situation.

he shrugs off his long black coat, leaving him in only his suit, and drapes over yourself and historia.

your head whips to where he stands.

levi clearly tells you, “you should’ve worn a jacket!”

and you respond, with a wide grin on your face, “seems like i didn’t need to.”

historia thanks levi vehemently and you kiss levi’s cheek.

even from metres away, the blush on his cheeks is so very visible.

꩜ sixth clip

it is halloween! you enjoy halloween, always posting a costume of yourself on your instagram every year!

this year, you dressed as a cute vampire. your hair was slicked back and you had fake fangs on your canines. you were a doll!

on your story, you post a video of you.

and levi.

you are recording yourself walking and you come up behind levi, shoving your phone in his face so you both are in the frame.

levi rests on the couch with his eyes clothes.

but he is wearing a costume too.

levi never celebrates halloween. let alone wears costumes outside of acting.

how did you convince him to do this?

“leviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…” you growl with face menace, grinning wildly.

“hm?” he hums, barely even paying attention to you.

“i vant to vsuck vour vlood vleeeeviiiiiiiiiiiii…” you chime in jest, opening and closing your mouth to show you fangs.

levi opens one eye, side-eyeing you with immense suspicion. “get away from me.”

“vnoooooooooooooo, vlevvvvvvvvviiii,” you drawl again, opening you mouth an ample amount, and slowly closing in on his neck, “i vant to vsuck vour vblood-”

then his grabbing your hairline and holding you back, causing your eyes to squint and your face to lift.

“are you gonna stop?” he asks. his expression is blank as he scowls.

“nope!” you croak, your voice compromised by the position you’re held in, “vyourr vbloood vvlevvvvvviiii…”

the video cuts to another.

levi is running away from you, his bat cape flapping behind as you chase him.

the camera moves erratically as you manically cackle, “vgivve me vyour vblood vlevviiiiii! vlet ve vsuck vour vblooddd!”

this game of cat and mouse continues until you pounce on him and the video abruptly ends.

in the end, you get a photo with levi, that he willingly partook in, with you biting his smooth, pale neck.

it is safe to say your fans went crazy that day.

꩜ seventh clip

a viral paparazzi clip of you and levi walking out of the set for the movie you’re both working on.

as you walk with levi, an odd man wearing sunglasses comes up behind you and gropes your ass.

you can’t help crying out a loud, “hey!” in complete shock that someone would do that so shamelessly in front of so many people.

levi turns to, wondering what happened. you tell him that, ‘that man’ touched you inappropriately.

he doesn’t even waste any time.

levi storms up to the man, who has the sense to try and walk away, and sucker punches him in the nose.

everyone gasps as the man falls. he clutches his bloody nose, groaning and writhing.

“disgusting scum.” levi spits at the thing crying on the ground.

cameras flash all around you and levi.

levi guides you to the car, opening the passenger door for you and swiftly getting in the drivers side and speeding away.

while he received mostly support from your fans, he also received backlash for “inciting violence” and “not setting a good example”.

he did not care. in his own words, he would “do it again” if he had to.

꩜ eighth clip

a fan q&a was held with the cast of ‘attack on titan’ for the season finale, and fans could ask any questions they wanted!

unfortunately, because they are not interviewers, they lacked the skills usually used by people in media.

and the shame.

after levi answered a question, the host picked out another fan who had their hand raised to ask a question.

“hi, i have a question for ______.” said the fan.

you say hello and then she proceeded to ask, “how much weight did you gain between seasons 3 and 4?”

your looked shocked at the audacity of her to ask such a question and the fans seem to be in agreement, shouting in surprise and even booing the fan.

the host tells her, “please, do not ask inappropriate questions to the cast please.”

“huh? can she not answer questions or…?”

the cast look around awkwardly, glancing at you in concern.

you pick up your microphone to speak. “uh-”

but before you can get a word in, levi is already speaking for you. “can you ask good questions? or…?”

you choke on your spit, and the crowd cheers and whoops, and your cast members laugh and clap as the rude fan is guided out by security.

“tch, these people…” levi curses, “no more shit questions.”

the crowd howls but levi is being dead serious.

the q&a goes on, and levi places his hand on your knee as questions are being answered, seemingly making sure you’re okay. you nod and give him a small smile.

꩜ ninth clip

a clip, recorded by you, of levi working out for his role in a new thriller film.

you wolf whistle, panning down levi’s shirtless body as he does pull ups, “ooh la laaaa!”

levi grunts, dropping down and wiping his head with a cloth. “stop that.”

“an attractive male in his natural habitat - the gym. the attractive male-”

levi snatches the phone from you.

you whine and he points the camera at you, turning the table on you. you are also clothed in gym wear.

“aren’t you supposed to be exercising too? you brat.”

“uhmmm…i’m here for uhhh…moral support?”

cut to you barbell squatting, with levi spotting you from behind.

“ugh! levi i can’t anymore! it’s too heavy!”

“are you serious? it’s ten kilograms.”

“yeah that’s heavy!”

“five more and then you’re done.”

you grunt but power through, doing all five before throwing the barbell onto the floor.

“impressive,” he compliments, “for you.”

you collapse to the floor and give a thumps up to the camera and say, “he loves me, really.”

levi huffs.

he does not deny it though.

*

a/n: i miss him so much i need him back and animated again :’)))

[thecapricunt1616]

Patchouli - (C.B. oneshot)

𝓢𝓷𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓽 (𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓑𝓣𝓒): Carmen would stumble in - long after you’d fallen asleep, albeit cursing himself for not being home earlier before you’d fallen asleep to your true crime shows, so you’d kneel at his feet as you usually did, and untie his sneakers for him, before gently coaxing him out of the shoes like the earth-ridden angel you were since his back was fucking aching after his near 16 hour day. He would silently slink into the bathroom, take a quick shower - just enough to scrub off the dirt, sweat, and kitchen smell from the day. Before he’d carefully pad to bed and do whatever he could to assure you felt oh so good to start off your solo-weekend together.

♡ Summary: carm is a munch. What else do you need to know?

♡ W/C: 1300

♡ Posted Date: 4/20/24 (blaze it)

♡ A/N: pure porn lol (prequel to Peonies)

♡ Warnings for BTC: smut. Pussy eating ass smut. this is fully unedited because I’m a lazy sack of shit we die like men.

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡

Carmy was nothing short of addicted to the taste of your pussy.

Like - he nearly found it embarrassing for Christ’s sake. He would get hard thinking about it, Jesus, his fucking mouth watered.

He’d tried the best food in the whole world- the most talented chefs would nearly beg for him to taste their art - but nothing was more decadent than your homemade liquor on his tongue.

He worked extra late on Friday evenings, since it was the busiest night at the restaurant. Date nights, birthday celebrations, any celebration- really that was big enough to warrant going to one of the only Michelin star restaurants in Chicago usually happened Fridays.

Carmen would stumble in - long after you’d fallen asleep, albeit cursing himself for not being home earlier before you’d fallen asleep to your true crime shows, so you’d kneel at his feet as you usually did, and untie his sneakers for him, before gently coaxing him out of the shoes like the earth-ridden angel you were since his back was fucking aching after his near 16 hour day.

He would silently slink into the bathroom, take a quick shower - just enough to scrub off the dirt, sweat, and kitchen smell from the day. Before he’d carefully pad to bed and do whatever he could to assure you felt oh so good to start off your solo-weekend together.

Carmy would come into the bedroom, damp, dripping curls from his shower, and ever so gently crawl between your sleeping supple, thick thighs. He felt welcome. As if you were asking him- no. Begging him- to devour your sweet silky luscious heat as soon as he’d got through the door.

This was coming home, at least to him- his true home was between your thighs, sucking and lapping at your folds until the both of you were sore. When you’d whine about it in the morning, he’d kindly make up for it and place the gentlest, most filthy kisses to your mound and nether lips, whispering sweet sorrys to your cunt and ‘promising to be gentler with her next time’ - he never was.

He hummed gently, dragging his heavy, knife calloused fingers over your clit. Your hips inadvertently jerked into his hand, it was only natural.

There would be times he would just simply lay there after an orgasm of yours, in a filthy, horny trance, thrusting his expert fingers oh so carefully into your seeping (embarrassingly wet) and over sensitive hole - slow and light due to the muscle being so so overused, almost achingly so - before taking them out and spreading the digits to see how sticky and messy you were.

“mmm someone was playin’ with herself before I got home?” He said, just barely a whisper.

He pressed his lips to yours, before gently taking the right one into his mouth and sucking the overly sensitive flesh between his lips. His tattooed hands gently rub over your thighs, squeezing the skin, hard enough to leave bruises, and his eyes fluttering shut, every stress of the day melting away. It was as if the man had an oral fucking fixation with your clit, with your folds. The way he’d suck and flick and kiss them - it was like he was playing a goddamn game.

He eagerly spread your lips with his ring and middle finger admiring how wet you were. “Absolutely - how dirty mmm? My filthy little girl” he he whispered, tonguing the wetness over your weeping hole and holding back a moan at your sweet, musky flavor.

Carmy relished in the way your core clenched around nothing, and the sweetest most gentle whimper fell from your lips. “Shhhh” he cooed, placing a kiss to your clit that made your thigh twitch

“I’m takin care’f ya’ - don’worry” he said softly, licking a hot wet stripe from the curve of your ass to the very top of your slit, flicking his tongue over your clit in the way that made you shiver.

Even in your sleep, you widened your legs for him to give better access to the delicious sensation that was lapping up the moisture that was starting to drip and tickle. It wasn’t long until you were roused, a small sleepy smirk coming to your lips.

“Mmmm thanks Bear” you muttered, lazily finding his curls and gently pushing them off his forehead. He reached his hand up to your stomach, palm up to you, lightly wiggling his fingers on your flesh. Allthough you refused to open your eyes, you felt the action and knew what he wanted.

You found his hand easily, lacing your fingers together and pulling his hand to your lips, kissing each knuckle as he kissed and sucked your folds. As he nudged your clit with his nose you gasped lightly, looking down at him in the dim light.

“Yes- like that baby- feels good, work ok lovey?” You gently tug his curls and he looked up at you, lustblown eyes and a wet nose he looked like a puppy this way.

“Mm. Ok. Marcus f’got a huge cake order. Kinda’a mess” he muttered before sticking out his tongue, slack jawed and adorable, slobbering over your pussy like a man starved.

You nearly giggled at the action but couldn’t as a moan passed your lips you couldn’t hold in if you tried. “Such a good puppy” you moaned quietly “so good t’me Carmy, I fuckin love you” you gasped, thighs nearly smushing his cheeks as he nipped at the sensitive flesh

“That’s new” he hummed, kissing your clit as he reached down with his other hand and slipped 2 fingers easily in your dripping entrance. Your back arched off the bed, electricity shooting through your thighs and abdomen, core clenching around his fingers, nearly sucking him in.

“Cus’y so good bear. Such a good boy” you praised, gasping as he starts flicking his tongue over your clit “shhh-ahh! Mmm! Thas’it. Thaaaatsit” you slurred, the coil in your stomach heating up and threatening to snap- and soon.

He moans into your clit, the vibration causing your hips to jerk and he leans his strong forearm around your luscious hips. “Still” he mumbled the order, thrusting his tongue into your hole.

“Jesus fuck! Don’t fuckin st- ohhhh” you let out nothing short out of a pornographic film like wanton desperate filthy moan

“Cmon, cum f’me pretty girl” he urged gently, replacing his tongue with his fingers and nuzzling your clit with his nose like a man starved as he sucked and nibbled your folds.

You whined, squeezing the hand you were still holding tightly. “N-now-nnnmmmmhhh” your orgasm washed over you like a tsunami, the aftershock being the strongest part. His lightest touch was causing you to jerk and twitch under him at the overstimulation.

“Shhhh angel. Relax. Relax” he coaxed, rubbing over your stomach with a light touch. “Such a sweet girl. My sweet girl” he caressed your thighs with a sweet touch for a few minutes, pressing gentle kisses to your skin before getting up.

You’d inevitably whine and beg him to come back, your core feeling cold and neglected without his presence. “Time f’sleep gorgeous.” He’d gently pet your hair, pulling you into his chest.

“I want French toast for breakfast.” You muttered softly, nuzzling into his chest, smiling to yourself at his tickly chest fuzz.

“Ye?’ We got bacon too, went shoppin’ fore I came home” he muttered into the skin of your neck tiredly.

Now that he’d fulfilled his daylong craving- he was exhausted and ready to sleep as soon as he could.

“The best boyfriend. Can I wake you up t’morrow with my mouth?” You asked, gently rubbing your hand over his half hard bulge.

“Please. Y’never gotta ask princess”

Fin

[fraterfalls]

Hi, I'm new to Blood Brothers AU and I was curious about it. Can you explain about it or show me where I can see the best explanation about it?

ohhh, dear asker, the rabbit hole i'm about to send you down... >:)

alright let me try and explain it in the most coherent way possible, it's late at night BUT i will try my best!!!

explanation under the cut!

(in general, if you're new to the bb au like this asker and trying to find your way around this overwhelming hell of an au i've concocted, i recommend you start here :D)

wow. i tried SO HARD to make this a semi-concise explanation and YET it somehow turned into a mini-fic in itself towards the end there. sighhh... (lol even still, have fun reading!)

first thing's first i need to tell you aboutttt

The Parallel World / "Better World".

in journal 3, ford mentions visiting a parallel dimension in which stan never pushed him into the portal, and instead took his journal and hid it as ford had requested.

^ some screenshots to give you the basic gist of what's going on in that dimension, everything you need to know for the time being. you can read more about it on internet archive if you like

at some point in august i reread this part of journal 3 and became obsessed with the idea of a parallel dimension. i also noticed that apart from mentioning how he never pushed ford into the portal and took the journal in this world, parallel stan is just... not really brought up. at all. ...which opens up some interesting possibilities.

as you can probably guess, this dimension features in the blood brothers au! in my interpretation, the reason stan was never mentioned is because after leaving with ford's journal, he never came back, just seemingly disappeared off the planet. parallel ford... has not been handling this well (and a certain bastard triangle only serves to play up his worst fears!), and because he has such a large student body to attend to and take care of and protect, he represses his issues, buries them under layers and layers of work and responsibilities. nobody even knows he has a brother...

not even his nephew and niece, dipper and mabel. however, they're observant as all hell. as secretive as ford is, they see past his little white lies, they see how he doesn't eat properly and falls asleep at his desk and laughs nervously when someone asks if he's alright. (i haven't talked much about the role they play in this au on tumblr, but rest assured i'll be elaborating more on it in my upcoming fic that may come out sometime within... um... the next few months to the next few decades. they're still the same old mystery twins we know and love, except now they've set their sights on figuring out what their grunkle ford is hiding. very Not What He Seems reminiscent)

alright, now that i've mostly covered the parallel world, time to move on to:

The Portal Stan AU

while i was obsessing over the Better World, a parallel dimension/"alternate universe" which already exists in canon, i started thinking about another AU which is fairly popular in the gravity falls fandom: the portal stan AU. in which stan, rather than ford, gets sent into the portal. thought it was a fantastic concept ever since i first saw it, because it opens so many doors for interesting characterization and also some good ol' angst (and later a healing arc, of course). portal stan has, after all, spent 40 or so years without a solid family base or anyone to care for him. and i can imagine that in those 30 years he spent dimension-hopping, his only thought was to return to his home dimension and see ford again. yes, he was furious and frustrated when they had that last argument, but surely in hindsight he saw how paranoid and jittery ford had been throughout their meeting. he would want to get back and make sure his brother was safe as soon as possible.

and then i had the thought which kicked off this entire au:

what if portal stan fucked up and somehow stumbled upon the parallel dimension while searching for a way home? what if portal stan and parallel ford... MET?

portal stan sees parallel ford and his situation and comes to the conclusion that, without him in the way, ford would flourish. parallel ford sees portal stan and comes to the conclusion that no matter the universe, he somehow manages to destroy stan's life just by being in it. even just knowing that the other exists exacerbates their own insecurities. IT'S SO AWFUL AND SO PERFECT.

also, portal stan couldn't be more desperate to get out of the parallel dimension- partly because he hates the reminder that ford would be better off without him, but mostly because he wants to see his real brother again. however, parallel ford has other plans for him. he's been in denial about the true fate of his own brother for a long time now, but he sees this version of stan and decides he can't afford to let go of him. (his own mental state is too fragile to accept the idea of losing stan again, even if this isn't his own stan. he already let go of him once after the WCT fiasco, and again after the journal incident. thrice is... thrice is too much.)

you may also be thinking "hey, smart guy, i actually DID read that screenshot you posted above while explaining the parallel dimension. it said parallel ford and fiddleford constructed a little something called a Vortex Neutralizer which allows for safe, bill-free multiversal travel. couldn't portal stan just use that to get out of there?"

yeaaah, parallel ford doesn't tell him about that!

he will do almost anything to keep stan with him. he is sinking his claws into that man begging him not to leave-

and stan hates him for it. tears into him with insult after insult. he can't stand this ford, why's he acting like he doesn't have everything he could ever want? (except, of course, he doesn't really hate him. after all, this is still stanford pines, maybe not his ford but he's certainly a ford. same old easily excitable nerd he used to tease back in high school. but stan still has his own ford to attend to, one who needs him more than anything... probably... hopefully, so he shuts out the part of him which is growing fond of parallel ford. tells himself not to think too much about this one. he hardly even knows him. he shouldn't have to bother.)

-

and yeah that's. i think that's enough information to take in in a single post. there's still plenty more going on with the au that i haven't touched on here, but hey that's just the premise! i would link you to more specific posts which will help you further acquaint yourself with the au, but it's. it's 2am and i am incredibly sleepy, so instead i will simply provide you with the link to the blog archive, where you can look at all the posts on here without having to scroll endlessly trying to find specific things. enjoy!!!

if you have any more questions DON'T BE AFRAID TO COME BOTHER ME ABOUT IT !!! i loved answering this ask... <3 been meaning to rewrite a better AU Premise Post than the one i made back in august anyway lol

[aromanticgarbage]

Hi!!! What do you honestly like about our boy Joji? What got you into him? Favorite song? Favorite quote from him?? Cool blog BTW. ❤️

Hiiiii <33333

Putting this under a read more because it got long af.

God i think part of the reason why im so obsessed with him is the duality of his character and artistic expression. He used to describe himself as conflicted a lot, especially in his earlier interviews and that pretty much hits the nail in the head i think. I love both his music and filthy frank a lot but I wouldn't be so fascinated with the person behind either of these things if they weren't made by the same guy. I just think he is a fascinating character.

What got me into him? I'm honestly pretty late to the party, i stumbled upon slow dancing in the dark on some random playlist at some point mid 2023. Slow dancing in the dark got famous for a reason: its so fucking good, i was playing it on a loop for weeks. Later i stumbled upon pretty boy, once again by pure chance. I was playing it on loop for a looong time as well. I hadn't even noticed that both of these songs were by the same artist at the time.

Fast forward a few months later, someone i follow here on tumblr dot com rebloged a post that expressed ops utter bafflement that filthy frank had turned his career around so dramatically and that he was a "sadboy musician now". The term slursona was thrown around. The ballads 1 album cover was included in the post and i recognised it imediatelly but i also recognised the name filthy frank.

You see, back in the day my older sister was a huge fan. She was really into this era of youtube bless her heart but ff was one of her faves. She had showed me human ramen AND hair cake back then but i was pretty young and I didn't really speak english well enough to fully understand what was going on. Nonetheless, i was morbidly fascinated but i never got into ff myself. Still i knew who he was.

Finding out that i was listening to his music a DECADE later from a random tumblr post gave me the whiplash of my fucking life. I genuinely got so scared i went and removed sditd from my character playlists and spotify liked songs lol. I let that revelation shimmer within me for a few months until one day i finally decided that i should do some research on the matter. I think i watched the slow dancing in the dark mv first and it completely blew me away. Then i watched the weeaboos video and it made me cry from laughter.

Somehow i ended up listening to his entire discography and watching Every Single filthy frank video ever made. At some point i discovered the notorious filthy frank exposes himself video and that once again blew my mind. I realised that he was the one who accidentally started the harlem shake trend back in 2013. Blew my mind. I listened to pink season ans i realised that the help song ive been seeing around since forever was a pink guy song. Blew my mind. I went home for the holidays and i talked to my other sister about my newfound obsession. Turns out she knew him from glimpses of us. Blew her mind too. Talked to my brother, he knew him from glimpses of us as well. We were all screaming about it for a few days.

This whole phase of mine started at some point in March and its only been getting worse. I don't know how we got here but im not complaining.

If i had to choose a favourite song.... sanctuary is my most listened to song of the year so far, so i probably have to go with that but also sditd, you suck Charlie, like you do, pretty boy, yukon, Mr Hollywood, no fun, demons, see you in 40, nightrider, modus (just to name a few)..... they all hold a very special place in my heart... I just love pretty much most of his songs a whole lot.

As for favourite quote im afraid I don't have a super serious answer to this question fjdksdks. "I just wanna make people sad and horny" is a strong one but also "sorry for being An Fag" and "fucking everyone smokes weed in central park...." fascinate me to no end.

Thank you so much for your questions !! <33 its always nice to have an excuse to ramble tehe.

[kaen-ace-of-diamonds]

Walking Space Heater

Word Count: 2700+ (oneshot) 

[AO3]

Genre: Fluff/Hurt/Comfort

Characters: Cinder Fall, Neopolitan, Emerald Sustrai, Mercury Black

Pairing: Cinder Fall/Neopolitan

Summary: Written (late) for Day 4 of @spice-cream-week 2021, “There Was Only One Bed.”

With the heat of both her Semblance and the Maiden powers, Cinder's body is much warmer than the average person's. So long as she's still by her side, Neo intends to take full advantage of that.

~0~

This is definitely a step down from the Haven dorms. Neo’s thumbs moved lightning-fast over the keyboard of her Scroll. Don’t they have ANY concept of personal space here? 

She could say something about Roman’s excessive use of emojis. But looking at his messages, she could hear his laughter clearly in her head, and she had no problem with that.

wtm? you got stuck with a shitty roommate? I’ll come and get her for you idgaf

That elicited the breathy noises that were the closest Neo got to laughter. Truthfully, she probably wouldn’t have minded sharing a room much in and of itself. It might even have been fun to mess with Emerald and Mercury in their own space. 

But no, she’d ended up with the only one that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

Cinder Fall was calm, collected, and incredibly competent. Neo didn’t necessarily dislike her. She thought that they got along fairly well, in fact. But that didn’t mean that she trusted her.

Roman was content to stay in the dark about what exactly her ultimate design was beyond Beacon’s destruction, having already accepted the fact that they would be overwhelmed by it. It still gnawed at Neo, though. Thus far her only clues had been the couple private calls that Cinder had taken, and the way Haven’s headmaster cringed like a kicked puppy whenever he caught sight of her. 

Sure, the man was jumpy enough in general, but Cinder — or, more accurately, whatever force had moved Cinder to the Academies — made him cower. Even Neo’s most devilish smile couldn’t do that.

She’s...not bad. She definitely likes me more than she likes you.

Now, did that really require five laughing emojis after I can live with that lol?

And

Neo’s thumb hovered over the screen. For the first time in several minutes, she glanced up from where she was curled up tightly on the covers of her bed. 

Cinder was perfectly at ease on her own bed, leaning back against a stack of pillows with her Scroll open in front of her face. Still rifling through the records of all the Academy students, no doubt. Casting her great and bloody show, for which every little thing had to be perfect. It wasn’t enough that she was sending Emerald and Mercury out to run recon and collect as many relevant details about their players as possible. No, she had to study up herself for hours on end.

Neo was willing to play her own part, but it all seemed very boring to her. Certainly her interim leader could use a break. She returned her attention for one moment more to her Scroll:

I think she would be fun to play with.

Ignoring the several question marks sent in reply, Neo pocketed her Scroll and slipped off her bed. Moving soundlessly was one of the first skills she had ever had to master, and she still considered it her most important. 

Cinder was still too engrossed in her research to notice as she crept across the carpet and climbed onto the other bed. Or maybe she just didn’t care enough to acknowledge her. She certainly didn’t look surprised when Neo’s head poked through the hole between her arms and her Scroll.

“Oh,” she said, smirking, in a tone that she might use with a stray cat that had come up to her in the street. “Hello there. Looking for some entertainment?”

Neo gave her her best strawberry-ice-cream smile, and scooted closer. From the meager rations of physical contact she meted out to Emerald, she wasn’t sure how much Cinder liked being touched, so she proceeded with care, little by little. It seemed to be acceptable: she stayed very still, but allowed Neo to settle down on her chest, resting her head against her shoulder.

“Or are you just lonely?”

Neo hummed thoughtfully, letting herself relax: not all the way, but just enough. This was nicer than she had expected, she had to admit. Cinder was dressed like she had been in the first round of the Vytal Festival: sleeveless jacket, long pants, and sarashi. Neo’s cheek rested mostly on bare skin, and though of course she had seen Cinder’s Semblance before (as well as the flames that didn’t quite seem to fit with it), it was much warmer than she had thought it would feel. Softer, too, with the scents of wood smoke and spicy perfume clinging to it.

“Well?”

Neo rolled lazily over onto her back, looking up at Cinder’s Scroll to see what she had been so busy scrutinizing. Hm. Several pictures of that Mistrali girl from the cereal commercials, accompanied by a passage about her Semblance which had been highlighted in a few places. There was one more tab open with an acronym on it, but that was it. 

Nothing that could tell Neo anything about their situation that she hadn’t already guessed at. And what was more, absolutely nothing that could be more interesting to her temporary partner than her.

Clearly, Cinder could use a lesson on how to properly spend an evening. Dastardly planning, which seemed to be her only form of recreation, just wasn’t going to cut it. 

So Neo helpfully reached up, laid her hands over Cinder’s, and pushed the Scroll shut for her. She put her pointer finger to the outside of her nose; her new teammates might not be picking up Valerian Sign Language particularly well, but she hoped the long, exaggerated twist away from her face coupled with a dramatic sigh got the message across equally well: Cinder, I am bored to tears.

Cinder tilted her head, puzzled but smiling. She slipped her Scroll into her pocket and wrapped an arm around Neo’s waist. 

“Well, in that case, I’d be happy to give you some attention.”

Neo made as pleased a sound as she could muster up, and snuggled up to Cinder, as close as she could get. It might have been dark and cool outside, but she felt as if she were napping on a sunbeam. Rolling over to lay her head on Cinder’s chest, she could imagine that there was a powerfully burning fire inside it in place of a beating heart, whose heat was palpable, just beneath the skin. 

She tried to look more sweetly smug than actually impressed, but gods, she had never felt anything like this. 

Cinder held her tightly in both arms now, fingertips scratching lightly between her shoulder blades, and Neo nearly purred. Years of pulling back bowstrings had turned those arms wiry and oh so strong. All at once, she completely understood why Emerald was always trying to earn one of these rare hugs.

And speaking of which...

Neo wasn’t sure how long she spent in the lap of luxury, only that she felt like she might actually fall asleep in it, as toasty warm as it was. Cinder had switched from rubbing her back to stroking and playing with her hair, which, in her experience with other people, was a welcome first. But she was jolted back to full awareness when their dorm room door slammed angrily open.

Blinking, Neo lifted her head. She caught the lingering scents of jungle juice and sweat incoming, before she saw Emerald stalking inside, barely hanging onto her last scrap of patience. Mercury stumbled in after her, wearing a huge grin and mirrored shades that Neo was fairly certain did not belong to him.

Cinder smirked. “I was wondering when you two would be back. How did it go?”

Emerald forced a halfway convincing smile for her leader. “It was...interesting. Though not quite as informative as I was h—”

The smile froze on her face when she turned to look directly at Cinder, and saw Neo lounging in her lap like a spoiled cat. 

Neo smirked, and signed, Party fun? With the reputation Vytal Festival house parties had, hopefully Emerald had gotten some attention as well.

“Oh, it was great!” Mercury shrugged off his jacket and pitched it into his and Emerald’s room, littering their carpet with brownie crumbs. “We saw a lot of everybody, didn’t we, Emmy?”

While Emerald tried to take a cue from Cinder and set him on fire with her eyes, Cinder herself just closed her Scroll with a soft laugh. 

“Well, you can tell us all about it in the morning. We should all get some rest now.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“You got it, boss...”

Neo watched them slink into their room, where muffled bickering started up as soon as the door closed, but did not move until she felt a gentle pat on her thigh. 

“You too, dear. Go on.”

Though she made a show of huffing about it, Neo got up off Cinder’s bed and went back across the room. 

Her own bed felt cold and uninviting now. Catching up on the several missed texts from Roman (including but not limited to what do you mean by that lmao, hey Neo dont leave me out of the loop :), Neo tf are you doing to her O_o, NEO) did make her smile, but as she drifted off to sleep, she couldn’t help but wish that she didn’t have to return to being alone just yet.

~0~

This was not at all the solution to that problem that she had envisioned, but Neo knew very well how to deal with whatever life threw at her.

She had never been to Atlas, and while she had to roll her eyes at its decadence, she couldn’t say she hated the place. Cinder, on the other hand, never answered outright when Neo tried to ask if she had ever been here before, but every bitter hiss from her about Atlas elites that had not been asked for gave her a general idea. It had taken them a while to find a vacant apartment to squat in, especially considering that there was an entire chunk of the city that Cinder refused to even go near. 

But now here they were, and it was empty around them and quiet outside. The blackout curtains shielded them from the city lights. In pitch darkness the two of them were curled up together in the place’s one bed.

Cinder had initially balked at the idea of sharing it, insisting that Neo take an extra blanket and find somewhere else to curl up. So barky with her orders these days, and so on edge, too. Neo was beginning to wonder how she had ever thought of this woman as calm and collected.

In any case, she didn’t see what her once-again partner’s problem was. She had invited Neo into her bed with her before, hadn’t she? Maybe not to sleep, but still. And she was far from squeamish; she wouldn’t make a fuss about the scarring and empty eye socket on full display. As such, she ignored the demand, and simply undressed, got under the covers, and gestured for Cinder to join her. 

After some indignant spluttering, Cinder threw up her hands and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. She didn’t come out until Neo had turned the lights off and laid there long enough that she might reasonably have fallen asleep. Even then, she slipped in quietly, gingerly, and stuck close to the edge of the bed. 

Now, that just would not do. Atlas was much too cold for that kind of nonsense. 

Neo rolled over under the blankets, feeling just as bold as last time, but exercising even more care, Cinder being so volatile lately. She went out of her way to be heard, so it wouldn’t startle Cinder to be touched. She knew her bedmate was awake: though she lay very still, her breathing was nowhere near relaxed enough for her to be asleep. 

Cinder didn’t jump when she felt Neo wrap her arms around her waist, but she did go still as a statue.

“Neo,” she growled, low in her throat, “what are you doing? I’m not in the mood for—”

Neo nuzzled her bare shoulder in a way she hoped was reassuring, as she pressed up against her back. Fortunately for her, Cinder’s new arm was tightly bandaged up for the night, so she didn’t have to risk touching the awful thing. Only human skin, just as fiery warm as before. Even the wood smoke smell remained. 

As had happened so often since the Fall of Beacon, Neo caught herself writing a text to Roman in her head, wryly telling him that he was right, she shouldn’t have thought so hard about where Cinder’s flames came from, because she would never in a million years have hit on the right answer.

She gave her head a shake, and resisted the urge to glance back at the bowler hat perched neatly on a bedpost. If she started thinking too hard about that, she would never get to sleep either. There would be time, when the sun came up, to consider some more whether the woman in her arms was the key to her revenge, or its target all along. 

Right now, the darkness was peaceful and the blankets thick and soft around them, and the heat of their bodies grew more soporific every moment. Comfort was a rarity in both of their lives. They ought to savor it whenever it came their way. 

Cinder let out a long, exasperated huff, clearly not sharing the opinion. 

“Couldn’t you just hug a pillow?” she grumbled. But there was no bite in her voice. 

Neo smiled against her skin, entwining her legs with Cinder’s. Now, she would have said, were her hands not occupied, where would be the fun in that?

“...Fine. Just don’t think you’re going to make this a regular thing.”

Oh, she absolutely was, so long as they were staying in the coldest part of the world and she was in the company of a walking space heater. 

As such, Neo ignored the question and snuggled closer. She was trying her best to communicate “calm down and go to sleep” through body language alone, so to feel Cinder slowly but surely relaxing in her arms, eventually going limp, was deeply gratifying. Almost fascinating.

From nights spent in the Beacon dorm room and Mistrali inns, Neo already knew that Cinder talked in her sleep. Most of what she said was sluggish and toneless as well as nonsensical, but sometimes it was a series of fierce snaps or pained moans. It came as no surprise to Neo that when, just as she was starting to doze off herself, she was woken back up by her partner’s twitching and yelping. 

“No...don’t take...I’m...!”

Neo sighed drowsily, and tightened her embrace, humming as soothingly as she could. Her inability to speak never really bothered her, but there were times like this when it didn’t exactly help her, either. At least she could keep Cinder from thrashing around and hurting one of them: if that arm decided to act up while its host was in distress, she had zero faith in the bandages to hold those claws back.

It’s okay, she thought, hoping that somehow it would get across, just relax, you’re all right...

Nightmares never lasted forever. Neo had woken with her stomach still in free fall from enough dreams of plummeting wildly through a Grimm-infested sky to know that. Still, she hoped that her attempts at calming had helped this one pass quickly. Cinder’s mumbling devolved into moans, then to frantic whimpers, then finally to something close to the restful breathing that Neo had almost fallen asleep to before.

Neo took a deep breath of her own. She was too tired to smile, but leaned in to press a kiss to the back of Cinder’s neck, the ends of her short hair tickling her nose. To her surprise, she felt a burn scar here, too: thin and faded, but winding around her neck like garrote wire. Somehow she didn't think that Ruby had done this. But she certainly wasn't going to ask who had. They weren't going to discuss any part of this in the morning.

So she kissed her neck once more, soft and just a bit more sincere, before closing her eyes again.

Good night.

[fanficflaneuse]

One Day - Part 10

A/N: Dear magical tumblr friends, we’ve reached part 10. I’m sorry if it’s not that good. I was really excited to write it, but today I had to do a bunch of things for my graduate applications and it was just hectic. Still, it is Draco Malfoy’s birthday and I didn’t want to let the day pass without uploading a big, nice chapter. I hope you like it either way. 

Also, before we start, I feel the need to express my utter love for Theo Nott and Astoria Greengrass lol. I don’t hate them. In fact, if anyone wants to recommend some Theo Nott fanfiction, I’m all for it.  

Let’s do this! 

Draco x reader (she/her pronouns) Word count: 1921 Summary: One day AU. Post-war. Since The Battle of Hogwarts, Draco and y/n meet one day a year.

Masterlist 

Enjoy! 

3 May, 2009

“What is this?” Draco asked in awe, motioning to (Y/N)’s hair.

“It’s my take on the French bob,” she answered playfully.

Every time he saw her, Draco found (Y/N) more beautiful than before. This time, though, he swore she was actually glowing. She had gotten a haircut and now her locks framed her face differently. She dressed so…French now, which he found adorable and incredibly sexy. And her smile was bigger and brighter than he had seen in years. In general, this version of his best friend made him feel like a teenager again.  

Draco had been postponing this trip for weeks now. They had not addressed the issue yet, (when had they ever?) but everyone knew that the moment one of them reached out for the other, things would finally be settled. Their friends were tired of seeing them clumsily stumble through their feelings. That’s why Astoria took Scorpius to the Nott’s chalet on the Swiss Alps and practically forced him onto a train to Paris.

Astoria and Draco were not exactly the closest friends, but they had a son together and for his sake they maintained a more than civil relationship. She had settled down with Theo Nott, marrying him just after the divorce was finalized. They were happy together and she wanted his son’s father to move on as well. She was not only moved by a sense of guilt; deep down, Astoria had always known that the connection Draco and (Y/N) had was deeper than she would ever comprehend.

Whatever the case, the feeling of elation that washed over him as they held each other at Gare du Nord made him grateful for being alive again. He had butterflies in his stomach and a tingling all around. As if their bodies were connected, (Y/N) could also feel something electrifying. They hugged for the longest time, as if they weren’t in a crowded station with people rushing around.

(Y/N) and Draco walked arm in arm to her apartment in Montmartre. He still had a lot of questions about muggles, so she enjoyed pointing things out for him as they strolled. He had been to Paris countless times in his childhood and even once with Astoria, but this felt different. Walking with (Y/N), listening as she told him about the things she did every day, the places she frequented and the muggle history behind them felt like a dream come true. (Y/N) was very excited about taking him to a bunch of places and she numbered cheerfully all of the activities she had planned for them. Draco wished he could live in this moment forever.

“So, you’ve been consistently on the Prophet’s Best Seller list for almost a year and now you’ve won the Beedle the Bard literary prize. Don’t you dare to forget about your commoner friends, (Y/L/N),” he teased.

“You’re hardly a commoner, Healer Malefoy,” she taunted back, using the French translation of his last name.

Draco rolled his eyes playfully. “But really, you’re conquering the world one book at a time and I cannot be prouder…of myself for still having your original poetry saved somewhere at home.”

(Y/N) snickered. “I guess magical readers like the flavour of muggle literature. ‘That Kafka fellow? An absolute genius’,” as she quoted him playfully, Draco’s heart flipped.

When they reached the apartment, Draco observed everything in astonishment. Each little detail around the house embodied her. From the towers of books that flooded the flat to the position of the sofa by the fireplace, the rickety spiral staircase leading to the second floor, the creamy colours of the walls, the muggle paintings – she would later call them ‘impressionist’ –, the huge windowpanes and the mismatched yet harmonious furniture, it was all her. Draco had never seen a place represent a person so well. Even more surprising was the feeling that invaded him as soon as he set foot inside; he sensed that he had finally arrived home. He was Odysseus returning to his beloved Ithaca and he never wanted to set sail again.

They goofed around for a while, talking nonsense as they drank some very expensive wine. They danced around the room, enjoying the different layers to muggle music. Lately, (Y/N) had got then both hooked on muggle jazz. Draco relished greatly how the music seemed to pierce through them as they swayed around the room.

As the sunset painted the sky with colourful swirls, Draco stood by the window, observing the rooftops, the quaint streets and the Eiffel tower at a distance. (Y/N) took in his form. He looked much better. He stood taller; his shoulders no longer sagged forward in defeat. The bags under his eyes were practically gone. She could tell he was eating more. And he seemed generally happier. It made her smile.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go anywhere tonight?” she asked softly, walking towards him.

He turned to face her and nodded vehemently. He knew what he wanted to do. But it was only about an hour later, when they were cuddling in her bed, that he delved slowly into the much-awaited conversation.

Draco’s head laid on (Y/N)’s stomach. He was facing her way, eyes closed as her fingers worked their magic on his scalp. He was thinking about the right way to say it. And it all started off clumsily.  

“So, Olivier Flamel, huh?”

“Yes,” she sighed.

For a while, (Y/N) had dated Olivier Flamel, a descendant of the one and only Nicholas Flamel, who, not coincidentally at all, was also a big-shot alchemist. It had ended like most of her relationships and flings in the last few years: casually, easily, no real pain for either part involved because they hadn’t been really that involved.  

“Do I have to hex him?” Draco asked seriously.

(Y/N) snorted. “Ron asked me just the same,” she explained when he shot her an amused look, “And of course not, Dray. Olivier is an amazing guy. There was a lot of chemistry between us and we had a very passionate affair. But ultimately, we were just so different.”

Draco was invaded by a horrible feeling of envy when she talked about their amazing chemistry, but he did his best not to show it, to be rational and kind.

“How are you holding up?” he asked, even though he already knew. He needed the confirmation that still didn’t have feelings for him.

“You know it’s fine,” she shrugged, “I guess I’m just shook. For a while there I was half of the ‘it’ couple of the French wizarding jet set. It was a wild ride. Way too much to handle”.

Her cheeky smile then turned into a more concerned gesture. “How are you holding up?”

To say that (Y/N) had been surprised by Draco and Astoria’s divorce was the understatement of the century. The only thing she was certain of was that she didn’t want to see Draco suffer like that ever again. It had made her physically sick, to see him in so broken. She had been there through every stage of his grief. She helped him move back to Malfoy Manor. She took care of Scorpius on the days in which he couldn’t get out of bed. She cried with him. She got drunk with him. She was the big spoon. And through it all, (Y/N) only real target was to help Draco’s heart heal.  

“I’m alright now. In hindsight I guess I am not surprised, you know? Our relationship was doomed since the beginning. The most important thing to me is Scorpius and I believe we’re handling it well, the share custody and all. He’s a happy boy.”

(Y/N) kept caressing Draco’s hair. There was a painfully long silence. The feeling of repressed words and feelings clouded the air. They had kissed a couple of times before. Once they had a very heated make out session that almost leads to them shagging. But they hadn’t talked about it. Every time it happened, they would just ignore it and carry on, as if they were not both elated by it. (Y/N) had spent countless nights telling herself that she wouldn’t kiss him again; she didn’t want to be Draco’s rebound.

“We totally suck at this love thing, don’t we?” (Y/N) finally said.

Draco’s heart was beating hard on his chest. It was now or never. “I don’t think we suck at this ‘love thing’,” he pointed out, raising up to face her, “I think we have ignored the right person to do the love thing with”.

(Y/N) regarded him seriously for a second. This is really not how she thought the infamous conversation would go. She was braising herself for yet another disappointment. And now here he was, saying the things she had wanted for so long. A lot of mixed messages were bouncing in her mind.

“You mean us? Together?” (Y/N) sat up, “Dray, don’t you think that boat sailed about a decade ago?”

Draco’s smile fell. He was certainly not expecting that. All of a sudden, he felt an emptiness in his stomach and an urgent need to cry. “D-do you really think so?”

“The timing is never right,” she breathed out.

“Look at us now, love. The timing is perfect,” he said before kissing both of her cheeks.

(Y/N)’s eyes welled with tears. “I don’t want to be your rebound, Dray,” she softly.

Draco looked at her, his expression softening. “I’ve been in love with you for the longest time, (Y/N). I pushed you away, convinced that I was doing the ultimate sacrifice for you. I wanted to save you from, well, me. You deserved better. You still do”, he heard her scoff, “But I guess that doesn’t matter anymore.”

They looked at each other intently. “Now,” he said dramatically, “I’ve come all this way to confess my undying love for you…”

“Idiot,” she muttered playfully, the widest and most genuine smile plastered on her face. He inched forward and kissed her face again: her forehead, her cheeks, her jaw, her neck. (Y/N) felt like she was floating on a cloud.

“I want to be yours, (Y/N). I want you to be mine,” he whispered in her ear, before kissing her on that soft spot he knew made her breathing hitch.

“Draco, I swear if you hurt me, if you use me as a rebound, I swear to Circe I’m going to hex you and never talk to –“

He shook his head. “I will never hurt you, (Y/N/N). I am in love with you.”

“I’ve always been yours, Dray,” she said, softly.

“As I’ve always been yours,” he answered. 

They looked at each other then, eyes full of adoration. He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. His eyes quickly set on her lips before meeting her gaze again. (Y/N) pressed her lips to his. It was, by no means, the first time Draco and (Y/N) kissed. It was, though, the best one they had shared to date. It started sweet and loving, but its intensity raised as the minutes went by. Their feelings let loose, pressing themselves unfiltered with each caress.

“I love you, Draco,” she said breathlessly.

He pressed (Y/N) to his chest, kissing the top of her head multiple times.

“Say that you love me again,” he almost pleaded, his voice small and a bit ashamed. Draco couldn’t believe his ears and he wanted every confirmation he could possibly get.

“I love you, Dray,” she said, pecking his lips, “I love you.”

tags: @fandomscombine @okaydraco @naomi02hook @iliketoast23 @winnsmills @oldfashionedlovergirlsblog @happycomb @xtrashmouthxtozierx @animelover09556 @hopplessdreamer

[shnuggletea]

InuKag Week 2020

Anyone else see this gift and have “Here I Go Again” play in their heads to it??

Well, some of you are thinking the worst of Inuyasha right now lol! I really wanted the chapter to end on that last line. You guys are lucky this is for InuKag week or you'd have to wait a week for this part. Since there wasn’t a reunion in part one, here it is! It still isn't really resolved at the end of this one but you only have to wait until tomorrow. @inukag-week​ sorry, I’m bugging you twice today!

Reunion Part Two

I couldn't breathe. Everything felt like it was on fire; my heart, lungs, eyes, and throat. Inuyasha was holding back my hair as I vomited up the nothing on my stomach but I pushed him away hard. Then stumbled away even farther.

"You're married?!"

"Kagome, please. Let me explain!"

I grabbed onto something for support but I really couldn't say what it was. "You're married. What is there to explain?! Oh god is this why you hid us? Why you refused to be the father to your own children?!"

"NO! I told you. That's for your safety…"

I heard his words but I didn't at the same time. "You hid us from your wife! All this time I actually thought our lives were at risk but it was just your life!"

"You and the kids are my life and I hide you to keep you alive!"

"Oh my god," another wave of nausea hit and only half of it was morning sickness, "do you have other children? Do you have another family with her?!"

Inuyasha grabbed my arms and I only let him because I was close to hitting the ground. "I have nothing with her. It was a marriage convenient for my family and forced upon me ten years ago. We lived together for two years, had a few nights of awkward and terrible sex, and then she left. A year later I found you."

I shivered at the thought, how Inuyasha bought me off the stage. How he owned me but I had nothing to tie him to me. I was his sex slave and all this time I was fine with it. It was kinda hot. But now his wife was returning. How would me and our children living in her home look? Moroha looked just like her father, beautiful blonde hair that was pure white. And Sota had glowing golden eyes from Inuyasha. One look and they were clearly his.

"My children really are bastards…" I mumbled in my haze of fear, loss, hurt, and confusion.

Inuyasha gave me a small shake as if to wake me up. "They're not, stop it! They're mine. Just like you're mine. This is a good thing, Kagome, her coming back. It means I can finally divorce her."

Taking a deep breath and trying to settle myself, I pulled out of his hold. "I've never asked or wanted for anything from you by means of commitment, Inuyasha. I've trusted you, believed in you, and bore your children without pause or hesitation. But now? You've broken all we've had."

I was right to spend all night last night in Inuyasha's hold. Because I wasn't sure I'd ever experience it again.

oOo

"That mother fucking asshole."

"Sango!"

I sideways glanced at the children who were in earshot while Sango swore like a sailor. "Sorry."

"And I take offense to that. I was the mother he was ducking." Sango smirked but otherwise stayed somber. "That's why I asked you to bring me those things."

"Because you're cutting him off but baby number three has you needing to get off so bad you need toys?"

"Yes." I said with a defeated sigh.

"When does the wife arrive?"

"Tomorrow. All of it has me feeling more than morning sick. I don't want to see her, Sango."

"Why not?!"

I hung my head in shame. "Because she's his wife while I'm…" a sad laugh and Sango grabbed my shoulder, "I'm not even the mistress. I'm his sex slave. He bought me, brought me here, wrecked me, all while married to another woman? I'm a homewrecker."

"No, she's the homewrecker. You're the one here with a family in this house. It's your home, more than it's hers!"

"You think me and the kids could come stay with you and Miroku for a while?" I begged.

"I'd love to have you but you know Inuyasha will never let you leave."

It was true. I hadn't been outside the compound since I snuck out to OBGYN with Moroha. There was nowhere for me to go, Moroha's school didn't ask anything from the parents except for a check once a semester that Inuyasha sent. The staff handled food and shopping. Sango always came to visit me here, what else was there for me?

Well, there was one thing I would have rather gone and gotten myself, picking up the small bag Sango brought with her that contained a little 'helper'. "So how do I use this?"

oOo

Laying on my side, far away from Inuyasha in his large bed, the one I used to think of as ours, I waited until he stilled and his breathing became even. After considering going to the bathroom for this, I shrugged the idea off. Getting up and going would wake him and then Inuyasha would come check on me when I was in there too long.

Looking at the small egg shaped vibrator, I had a feeling it would take me a while to get what I needed from it.

I had turned it on earlier that day to hear how loud it was and was pleasantly surprised to find it was pretty quiet. Turning it on again, I listened to the soft buzz as it danced between my fingers. Then I slipped it under the covers and pressed it to my clit. It had me swallowing my gasp, over sensitive from my hormones, maybe I had been wrong because this didn't feel like it would take long at all.

The little egg hummed against me and I hummed as softly as I could back. Slipping it a little lower, I considered putting it inside me and using my fingers on my clit when heat pressed into my back and hands wrapped around me.

"Kagome, wake up. You're having a back dream…."

I was so preoccupied I missed the shift in the bed when he moved closer to me. Inuyasha was running his hands over me, trying to wake me up, and he followed my arm down.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing!" I said, elbowing him back a little.

He chuckled a little and returned, grabbing the wrist of the hand that held my egg of pleasure. "If you want it that badly, I'll gladly give it to you."

Now in his control, he rubbed my clit with the egg, using my own hold on it to manipulate it. "Stop it! I don't want you! I don't want you at all that's why I have this!"

"Did Sango bring this with her today? It's not used is it?"

"NO!"

I struggled against his hold but he was far stronger and soon the egg was in his hand instead of mine. He pressed it against my folds, using the tip to draw a circle in and around the skin. All while his cock pressed against my ass. "You've been avoiding me for days, Baby. I can't take much more."

Gripping the sheets before me did little to comfort as he began rubbing his dick between my ass cheeks, stopping only to pull my panties down and my sleep shirt up, out of his way. He kept the egg pressed to my clit and dipped his fingers inside me and I nearly came from the small action.

"Damn, Baby, you're soaked. Are you pregnant again?"

"What?! NO!" I panicked.

He continued to slowly pump his one finger inside me, feeling my walls as if not sure. "You always get like this when you're pregnant. You think I don't notice, but there are a bunch of things that always change when you're knocked up…"

"I'm just horny! Get off me!" I shoved him back with my elbow again. "I don't want to have sex with a married man!"

The bed shook as he worked his briefs lower and freed his cock. "Separated. I've been separated from her for almost a decade." Back against me, the egg he pressed never leaving, he panted right in my ear. "Besides, what's done is done. It's far too late to take it back and I don't regret a single, amazing, second of it." His cock pressed against my ass again and I quivered all over. "I know what you want."

Before I could ask, he reached over me to the nightstand and got out a condom. He only ever used those for one thing. "No."

He was already tearing open the foil. "You love anal when you're this horny."

"No."

Rolling the condom on with one hand and showing skills he had that I always marveled at, his covered cock rubbed at my entrance. "I just need a little lubricant."

He was using me like a bottle of lotion, rubbing between my thighs while he vibrated my clit and created more juices. "Inuyasha, stop."

I said no and stop but still pressed my ass out for him. Because not a single molecule of me actually wanted him to listen to me. I wanted him so bad, it hurt. As much as I hated myself for that, it was in the back of my mind for now, waiting until the rest of me was satisfied. There would be hell later when we finished but right now, I just wanted him to fuck me.

Thoroughly coated, Inuyasha removed his cock from my thighs and found my anus. Then slowly pushed in. Always a little tight at first, he waited for me to adjust before pulling out and sinking back in. "Oh god. You're gripping me so tight, Baby."

He cooed in my ear. I pushed my ass out a little more, silently asking him to go harder. Taking the egg, he slipped it down and pushed it up into my pussy, his fingers finding and pinching my clit before he took off behind me. With his free hand under me, he reached around and grabbed my breast, flicking my nipple in tempo with how he flicked my clit.

Any thoughts of any kind turned to mush as my entire body lit on fire. Inuyasha was bucking into my ass so hard, his balls clapped my entrance. I was gushing, the egg slipping around inside me and buzzing my g-spot. And my clit and nipple throbbed along with my walls.

I could feel Inuyasha's teeth on my skin but there was far too much other stimulus to register any more as I came so hard it hurt. Anyone that heard my screams might burst through the door any second now because it sounded like Inuyasha was killing me. And in a way, he was, my mind going numb with pleasure as I tumbled hard into ecstasy. I was still coming when he dug the vibrator out of me, putting his fingers in instead to feel me pulse around them. I felt the heat of his come as he filled the condom inside my ass. His groans sounded visceral behind me, telling me he was coming just as hard as I was.

His touch left me, Inuyasha rising to get rid of the condom and wash. The room was in and out as I blacked out a few times from the intensity of my orgasm. It was always a little scary when it happened but it was far from the first time Inuyasha had made me come so hard that I blacked out.

Now satisfied, those thoughts came roaring. I'd just had sex with a married man again. I couldn't stop it seemed.

Curling into myself, I returned to my solitary side but Inuyasha wasn't having it, curling right up around me from behind. He was kissing my neck, taking a fistful of hair and pulling it out of his way to place hot spit on my skin. "Get off of me."

His arms only wrapped around me tighter. "No."

"Inuyasha!"

"I gave you space,Kagome. But now I can't give you anymore." Proving his words, he wrapped a leg around me. "Especially with you pregnant again."

"I'm not pregnant." The lie rolled off my tongue with ease but his lies had for years.

"You should take a test. Or call see your doctor here."

"I'm not pregnant."

"Whatever you say, Kagome."

He was stroking my belly just over my womb. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. Not of being right or in being a father again. Not when my future with him was so uncertain. All I'd done for the past three days was think about us, about our past, looking for any clues that he was using me as the sex slave I was instead of more like I had thought for years. There were moments of such tenderness and care, longing looks my way or soft caresses without sex involved or staring deep into my eyes while he was deep inside of me, things like that had made me think we were more than slave and owner. But then there were other moments that truly made me wonder.

"The first time we had sex, you tied me up."

"You want me to tie you up again? It was really fun those other times…"

"You told me it was so I didn't mark you. Was that so your wife didn't see?"

He sighed, loud and pissed, against my back. The heat of it made it through my thin sleep shirt. "No. I told you. Over and over again I didn't hide you from her I hid you from everyone. You still have no clue who I am do you? You don't know how easy it would be for one of my enemies to break me through you or the children."

"I never cared who you were outside this house. Because that's not the man I spent my time with. But I guess I should have cared. Then I would have known just where I stood."

He lifted and turned, holding his head over me to look down at me. "And where is that?!"

"Where I've always been. What you told me I was from the start. I'm your whore. Your sex slave."

I was on my back in a heartbeat, molten and angry eyes glaring down at me. "I have never treated you like a slave or a whore."

"Yes you did. All this time you did because you were married. I'm the other woman. Not even that much."

He got dangerously close to my face and growled. "You're right, you're not the other woman. You're my woman. Mine. And I didn't tell you about Kikyo because she didn't matter. Not to me and not to who you and I are together…"

"Of course, because I'm just your slave so why would you tell me..."

Sighing again, his anger flooded out of him and he rolled off of me to lay with his back to me. "You'll see soon enough, Kagome. I'll prove your worth to me."

oOo

I wanted to hide, I really did. But with the grand fanfare and the children getting interested, I found myself standing at the top of the staircase with the two of them. Inuyasha was as cool as a cucumber, as was the rest of the staff for some reason. I was the only one sweating as the large car pulled up out front and unloaded the entourage that had my babies so intrigued.

As far as Inuyasha's side, there was little flare and no dramatics. It all came from his wife and her people as they pushed inside. For a moment, I thought it would be hard to pinpoint the wife. But once I saw her I was sure.

Long, pin straight and perfect black hair down her back and a pale yellow dress, she was easy to spot. I was a little upset at first, thinking we looked too similar to be okay with. Then she removed her large sunglasses and saw we were actually complete opposites. My hair was never so perfect, curly waves that stopped in the middle of my back. And this woman was slim, more than I had ever been even before children.

Her gray eyes flashed up to mine, another large difference. As she climbed the stairs, Inuyasha following close behind as they discussed minor things like her travels and the weather, it was clear to see this woman also came from money.

Getting to the top, Sota wrapped around my leg while Moroha stood tall next to me. The wife stopped for a second, looking us over and surely seeing the traits Inuyasha implanted in his children as I did every day. If she did, she said nothing, turning with a huff and continuing on. Inuyasha paused to pass the kids a bright smile brimming with love. His eyes went to me for a second, something inside them I couldn't read before following behind the wife.

It got late and I put the children to bed. Not sure but with nowhere else to go, I made for what was mine and Inuyasha's bedroom. Going slow with my indecision, I was passed by the wife again. This time when he passed, his fingers brushed across my spine before quickly disappearing.

"I have a room set up for you…" Inuyasha began.

"Why?" Kikyo challenged, turning to face Inuyasha and me as I stood frozen in the middle of the hall. "This is my room and my bed. I want to sleep in it."

Without another word about it, Kikyo stepped inside. Leaving me alone with Inuyasha.

He sighed loudly, scrubbing his face. "I guess you can take the guest room…"

"Why not send me to a hotel at least? Why do I have to be here to see this? You're such an asshole Inuyasha."

"I know."

Turning, my only reprieve was that the guest room was on the other end of the house. That way I wouldn't have to hear Inuyasha and his wife make love tonight.

[opalescent-cheetah]

I Don’t Know What To Do (About This Dream And You), 3/5 - Methydoll

Summary: Baseball players and mythical beings are a potent combination. After Crystal catches her eye on the baseball field, Nicky makes a decision that turns her entire world upside down. Meanwhile, Crystal is caught in a mysterious dreamscape, chasing a creature with eyes like liquid gold.

Inspired by these songs: “She’s So High” - Tal Bachman; “Digital Love” - Daft Punk; “Baby” - Francesca Blanchard

Chapter Summary: Nicky meets Crystal first in her dreamscape, and then at a cozy cafe.

A/N: @cobblestaubrey​ I hope you don’t mind being tagged in every chapter sjfgdjfhs. Anyways! Time to board the angst train! I’m sorry in advance lol.

Ao3 // Previous Chapter

Chapter 3 - Nicky

Her dreamscape is quiet, disturbed only by the rustling of leaves in the gentle summer breeze. She reclines in the branches of her favourite tree, letting the cool air wash over her feathers.

This is her nightly retreat; it may merely be in her subconscious, but it’s the only time she is free to be her true self. In fact, she has no choice but to remain in her real form when she’s here, after an entire day of maintaining her human disguise.

Nicky is the present-day incarnation of the mythical caladrius. Centuries ago, when societies still had faith in magic and fable, her ancestors existed as small white birds with the power to detect and heal sickness. The caladrius - and countless other mythical beings - have since evolved to better suit human society, as people’s faith in magic and its power dwindled, and the creatures that were once so useful became redundant. 

Now, these creatures maintain two forms: a human disguise, and their true form, which, over centuries, became more and more human. 

Nicky raises a wing, watching her feathers shiver in the breeze. Sometimes she wonders what it would be like to simply be a bird: small and so common, yet still ethereally beautiful. Instead, all she has from her mythical ancestors are their wings, their sunflower eyes, and their powers.

A sudden movement catches her eye. There’s someone nearby, stumbling about beneath her tree.

Stiffening, Nicky realises who it is.

Crystal.

Shit.

How could she forget? Her healing powers came with one complication: the fact that she and whoever she healed would be psychically connected. Nicky mentally kicks herself for omitting such a minor yet crucial detail. After all, she’s lost friends over this, when they realised what a monster she truly was. And isn’t that the reason why you vowed never to heal another person again?

Typical. Of course you’d get so enamoured with a cute girl that you’d forget your lifelong promise to yourself.

She moves to scramble further up the tree, deeper into the leaves, trying not to think about the people who became nothing more than a memory, faces lost into the forests of her dreamscape.

“Hello?” Crystal’s voice rings like bells.

Nicky inwardly curses herself.

“Hello, is someone there?”

No. Nobody is here. Leave.

Her silent command proves fruitless as Crystal steps closer to the tree, peering up into the branches. Nicky curls into herself, knowing full well that her white feathers probably stick out like a sore thumb. 

She can’t stay here.

In a sudden burst of movement, she launches herself out of the canopy and takes off before Crystal can get a good look at her. She hasn’t ever flown like this before: so desperately, as though her life depends on it. Tears sting her eyes, but she can’t tell if they’re from the harshness of the wind or her own regret. 

How could she let this happen? It had been going so well with Crystal. They might have only met twice, but Nicky already had her number. They’d texted that night. Nicky had asked her out for coffee and Crystal had returned with a resounding yes.

She supposes she should just be grateful for the fact that their psyches aren’t connected every night. Otherwise, she’d always be surrounded by the faces of people who won’t even look at her anymore, and Crystal would just be one of several others. 

In fact, if she’d met Crystal here any sooner, she’s sure she wouldn’t have her number, and their coffee date would be nothing more than a figment of her imagination. 

She flies past a copse of trees and sees a familiar face amidst the leaves. It’s her childhood friend, and the first person she ever healed. The memory, though more than a decade old, is still crystalline: he’d stumbled, grazing his knee, and when he started crying, Nicky transformed in front of him, sure that she could help. She’d brushed his knee with the tip of a feather, taking his pain as her own, but instead of thanking her, he’d screamed. She never saw him again in the real world after that; all she remembers are the echoes of an angry voice through the phone, and the way her mother winced, her brows pinching in the centre.

But she still sees him here, every so often, less now that they have grown so distant. He has never looked her in the eye; on the nights his mind pulls him back here, he has no choice but to stay, and Nicky has no choice but to be reminded of her own childhood foolishness.

It often feels like there are more haunted faces here than there really are - it didn’t take a young Nicky long to realise that her meaningful efforts were not wanted, and so she made her promise to herself. But, although she can count those ruined relationships on one hand, it’s enough. It’s enough to break off a little more of her soul every time one of those faces appears in her dreamscape, every time they turn away and disappear into the trees to hide. 

And, whatever happens, Nicky will not let Crystal join them. She beats her wings harder, faster, cresting the wind, letting it carry her farther and farther away. 

Crystal may be stuck here now, but Nicky will never let her find out why. 

~

The air is thick and warm, the sun high in a cloudless sky, but Nicky is shivering with nerves. She is sitting alone at a table in a quiet, homely cafe, waiting for Crystal. What if she doesn’t come? What if she did, in fact, catch a glimpse of Nicky’s true form and thus decide never to speak to her again?

The thought alone makes Nicky ache, and so she shoves it away, forcing herself to stay hopeful. 

“Hey! Nicky!”

The voice makes Nicky snap her head up, and she’s delighted when she meets Crystal’s warm brown eyes. Crystal, looking windswept and a little dazed, smiles nervously before taking a seat across the table. 

“Sorry I’m late. I hate to keep you waiting.”

“It’s not a problem,” Nicky assures her, offering her a gentle smile. “I’m glad to see you.”

Crystal grins, and Nicky ignores the way it makes something in her chest flutter, as soft and delicate as a rose petal. 

They lapse into an easy, lively conversation, giggling like schoolchildren over steaming mugs of coffee and soft pastries. Crystal seems oddly shy without the boisterous company of her teammates, but it still feels so right, being here with her. Maybe it’s the cozy, golden atmosphere of the cafe, or maybe it’s Crystal, but Nicky feels at home. She feels comfortable, like this is where she’s meant to be. 

Wow. You really are just a useless lesbian. She almost rolls her eyes at herself, but something about all this feels too nice for her to scorn. 

Across the table, Crystal is rambling on - something about baseball, Nicky thinks, but she’s not quite listening anymore. Instead, she’s taken this opportunity to admire Crystal, who seems to glow under the warm lights, her eyes shimmering with an ethereal haze. Nicky has to stop herself from openly staring.

“Have you ever played before?”

Nicky startles, jolted from her reverie. “What?”

“Have you ever played? Baseball, I mean.”

“Oh - no. No, I haven’t. I can’t say I’ve ever been too into sports.” As she speaks, she thinks of nights when she takes to the skies, freedom in the windswept gaps between her feathers, but she knows that’s a sport she can never tell Crystal about. 

“Aw, pity. Something tells me you’d be really good.”

“What, at baseball? No way. I have no hand-eye coordination.” 

“Come on, I’m sure you’re just being modest,” Crystal giggles, coyly tilting her head. “We should practice sometime, just you and me. I’ll show you how it’s done.” 

Almost immediately, Nicky’s mind is flooded with images of Crystal, arms encircling her from behind, teaching her how to hold the bat; Crystal, grinning beneath the brim of her hat, her skin shining like bronze in the summer sunlight; Crystal, planting a kiss on her lips at the end of the day… 

Nicky arches her brows, trying not to seem too excited by the offer. 

“Alright. I look forward to it.”

Crystal smiles again, and Nicky’s heart skips a beat when she notices the gentle flush of her cheeks. The tiny, hopeful part of her whispers that maybe, just maybe, Crystal’s mind is running just as wild, that maybe she wants the same things Nicky does. She pushes the thought away immediately, too careful to allow herself to hope so much.

She’s brought back to the present when Crystal places a soft hand on the back of her own. Nicky blinks, surprised to find Crystal staring right into her eyes.

“It’s a date, then,” she says, a playful, brilliant grin painted across her lips.

~

Next Chapter

[lovemesomesurveys]

“I’m a dick, I’m addicted to you”

Do you add extra letters to words sometimes? (ex. haaaa) Yeahhh.

Do you like the letter Z or Q better? I don’t favor one over the other. Who would you like to be stuck on an island with? I’d like to not be stuck on an island at all. What's your favorite quote? I have a lot of favorite quotes. I just love relatable stuff that puts into words how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking better than I can. I struggle with expressing myself and putting it into words, so. Name one random fact about your best friend. She loves the ID channel.

Do you like vegetables or fruit better? Gonna be honest, I don’t eat much of either one. Especially, fruit... it’s been a few years since I’ve had any. :X I have spinach, potatoes, and green onions pretty often, but that’s all the veggies I’ve had in a few years as well. In comparison to my zero fruit intake it’s something at least, ha. There are fruits I like and a few more veggies as well, but I just haven’t had them in awhile. What brand of shoes do you wear? Adidas. What's your favorite smiley face? On the computer I use :) Do you believe that if someone goes to bed thinking of u, u dream of them? I’ve heard that before and it can be a cute thought, but nah. Have you ever snitched on someone for cheating? No. Do you own a Snuggie? I do. What's your favorite number? 8. Which of the 7 dwarves are you most like from Snow White? Sleepy. What's the last movie you watched? Dumb and Dumber yesterday. What's your favorite month? October and December.

“I’m alright”

Do you like the smell of campfires? Yesss. If you could do one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? I don’t know. Do you like eggnog? Yes. Is there a song out right now that you can't stand? I haven’t heard any new music recently. I haven’t been listening to music lately. If you could stay one age forever, what age would you pick? I’d be fine if I just stayed 31 here on out. What's your favorite state? I like my state the best out of the few states I’ve been to (the others being Arizona, Idaho, and Georgia). There’s a few I’d like to visit that could potentially take the top spot for me, though. Have you ever went in public with your tag still on your clothes? I don’t think so.

Would you say your loud or shy? I’m quiet and shy. What's your favorite symbol on the computer? I don’t have one. Are you afraid of clowns? Pennywise is awesome. Do you wear glasses? I do. Ever rode on a horse? Just on one at the pumpkin patch as a kid. Poor horse, guided around in a circle all day.  Do you have trouble saying or spelling some words? I think I spell pretty well. I stumble over my words when I talk sometimes, but I think my pronunciation is pretty good. Have you ever thought something was just to good to be true? Many times. And when I think that, it’s usually true. Do you like potatoes? I love potatoes.

“I’m in trouble, I’m an addict, I’m addicted to this girl”

Are you random? My thoughts and dreams are really random, but I wouldn’t describe myself that way. I’d say I’m predictable and boring. Do you believe that aliens are real? I don’t know. Certainly not the weird looking green creatures that are usually depicted for some reason. Do you sleep with the TV on? I do. I’ve done that ever since I was a kid. What's the longest you've slept in? Like 5PM or so. Have you ever seen a hairy toe? Yes. What's the last thing you watched on TV? Roseanne this morning. Do you have a song stuck in your head? Not at the moment. Who do you talk to the most? My mom and brother. What's the first thing you get on when the internet comes up? When the internet comes up oh man, was this made in the late 90s, early 2000s? lol. The first thing I do when I get on my laptop is continue scrolling through my Tumblr feed or do a survey. When's the last time you were sick? I’ve been sick with something for the past week. And no, it’s not the rona.

Which is your favorite: Music, Dogs, Shoes, Books, Jonas Brother? I love a variety of music, I love doggos in general, but I’m biased towards Labs and German Shepherds, Adidas are my favorite shoes, and back in my die hard Jonas Brothers days I was a total Joe girl. What color is your hair brush? Rose gold. Do you enjoy arcades? I did when I was a kid. We used to have one at my mall back when I was a kid that was a fun place to go. And Chuck E Cheese, ha. Have you ever liked 2 people at once? Yes. Have you taken a nap today? Not so far.

“show me the meaning of being lonely”

Would you ever want to be in a horror movie? I think it’d certainly come off as believable because I’m such a scardy cat and super jumpy. Being chased would genuinely scare me even it was acting. Even knowing what was going to happen I know I’d still be jumpy. Only thing is I don’t have the scream down that you gotta have for a horror movie.  Have you ever been to Washington D.C? Nope. Do you hate when girls have guyish names and boys have girly names? I really don’t care.  Have you lost or gained any weight since February? I know I haven’t gained any weight. I’ve probably lost some weight, which is really not good for someone who’s already underweight.  Have you ever felt like no one wanted to be around you? Yes. I don’t even want to be around me. I often feel like I’m such a burden and annoyance. It’s my own thinking and feeling, though. My family doesn’t do or say anything to make me feel that way. I have had other people make me feel that way, though.   Have you ever had to use a pay phone? Yes. Have you listened to music today? Nope. It’s been awhile since I’ve listened to music, actually. Do you only drink bottled water? Yes. Don’t judge me. I bet someone is on your mind right now, right? No, actually. Do you like writing in pen or pencil better? Pen, definitely. What's the last magazine you bought? I don’t even remember it’s been so long. Has anyone in your family ever forgot your birthday? My parents, brother, and close family members always remember. Was it any of your friends birthday in the past week? My older brother’s birthday was a couple days ago. Is anyone else in the same room as you? Nope. Are you one of the popular people in your grade? I’m done with school, but no I was never popular.

“you never call me when you’re sober”

What word best describes you in the dictonary? ”Depressed”, “Awkward”, “Lame”, “Loser”, “Ugly”... Do you like Soy Milk? Yeah, I’m lactose intolerant. I use that or almond milk. I don’t drink any kind of milk by itself, but I use those in stuff like coffee drinks and cereal. And for dunking my cookies and brownies in. Where were you at 10:30am yesterday? Right here in bed where I spent all weekend. I was having a really rough weekend. I felt really shitty and had zero energy. I couldn’t even drag myself outta bed for coffee, so that’s how you know I was feeling really bad. Thankfully, my mom and brother brought me a Starbucks. Do you think ghosts are real? I believe in spirits, but not actual Caspers. Do you know anyone who has been attacked by a shark? No. What is your best friend's mom name? Lupe. Have you ever made out in a movie theatre? No. What part of your body do you wash first? My arms and work my way down. Do you have an innie or an outie? Innie. How do you think the dinosaurs died? An asteroid. What's your favorite flavor of Pringles? Sour cream and onion, cheddar and sour cream, pizza, and ranch.  What was the last thing you got grounded for? Something when I was like 12. Did you go to a water park last summer? I don’t go to the water park ever. What shoe do you put on first? I think the right. Finish the sentence: Girls.. Just wanna have fun.

“I think we’re alone now”

Have you ever had a song or poem written about you? No. Did you have a nickname growing up? My family called my Noodles, ha. When was the last time you played the air guitar? I don’t know. Have you ever biten your toenail? Ew, no. I’m not flexible enough to even do that, but I would never want to so it’s fine. Have you ever been dared to do something that you regretted? No. I didn’t do dares. Favorite website? Tumblr and YouTube. Worst thing that has ever happened to you? Probably the incident that made me a paraplegic at 7 months old. That’s certainly top of the list. Best thing that has happened to you? My doggos are definitely amongst the top. Best friend? My mom. If you could dye your hair any color, what color would it be? I dye it red and would like to continue to do so. Do you have a wii? It’s my brother’s, but since we live in the same house and I’ve used it, too, I’m gonna say yes.  Most used phrase on IM? I don’t remember, it’s been over a decade since I’ve used IM. Have you ever heard of The Beatles? Of course. Have you ever wanted to give money to a charity? Yes, and I have given to charities.

“Who says you’re not beautiful?”

Would you ever want to have 14 kids? Uh, noooo. I don’t even want one.  Are you wearing any bracelets right now? Nope. Do you have any jewelry that once belonged to an old family member? No. Do you dream every night? I usually do. Give me on of your goals Just taking it day by day. Do you like skinny jeans? Yeah, those are the only jeans I have. Do you ever say stuff that you don’t mean? It happens. Have you ever said "I love you" and not meant it? Yeah, but that was back when I was 16 and felt pressured into saying it back to my boyfriend at the time even though I didn’t have those feelings. Ever since then I haven’t thrown those words around lightly. What is your dream guy/girl? A patient, understanding, caring, loving, trustworthy, good sense of humor kind of guy. Do you hate when people overract? I can definitely be one of those people that overreact. And I know I’m overreacting when it’s happening, but I can’t help myself. I sometimes see people in situations where I’m like, ‘omg, they’re totally overreacting’ and think it could be handled differently, but yet I do the same thing. When was the last time you used the oven? It’s been awhile, actually... I don’t remember. Have you ever wanted to be free like a bird? ”And I’m as free as a bird now... and this bird you cannot change.” Are you a worrier? Oh am I ever. Does your house have an attic? Nope. Are you going fishing this weekend? No. I don’t go fishing.

[shes-soparticular]

I adore you for all of the music references in your fics. Do you have a playlist?

I adore you for noticing and asking this question! Like mostwriters, I rely on music BIG TIME for inspiration. I don’t have any playlistscreated, but here’s a little masterlist of songs I’ve referred to in my writingthat usually play some kind of role. Warning, it ended up way longer than Irealized lol

Darling, So it Goes“Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis Presley – Okay, don’t we ALL fantasizeabout Shawn singing this song to us acapella? That old clip of him singing it?Kill me. The title of this one-shot comes from that song as well, of course.

Take Me Back to theStart“The Scientist” by Coldplay – I think this would be Shawn’s go-to breakup song,the one he’d play on repeat to try to process his feelings. Which is exactly whatI had him do when he and Alex hit the rocks. Naturally, that’s where the titlecomes from as well.

Every Little Part ofMe is Holding on to Every Little Piece of You

“End of the Road” by Boyz II Men – Just as The Scientist isShawn’s go-to heartache song, Alex’s is End of the Road. Her mantra is “if thelove don’t feel like 90s R&B, I don’t want it”. Also, I have to admit I kindof stole this from my OG crush Seth Cohen, as that was his “play on repeat”breakup song.

“Water Runs Dry” by Boyz II Men – Alex’s backup song to cryto, which is playing when Shawn shows up.

“I’ll Make Love to You” by Boyz II Men – Sensing a theme? Luckily,Boyz II Men is there for you both in times of sadness and times of makeup sex. Andas Shawn knows, Alex cannot resist a slow jam.

“Tough” by Lewis Capaldi – I took the title from the lyricsof this song. Lewis Capaldi is one of my favorite artists to listen to forangst/fluff inspiration.

Wouldn’t Fall forSomeone I Thought Couldn’t Misbehave

“Nobody” by Hozier – This one-shot is all about Shawn’sjealousy over her fangirling for Hozier. So it was a no-brainer to choose aHozier lyric as the title, which comes from this song.

“Movement” by Hozier – I don’t call this song out by name,but it’s the one I imagine her teasing him to in the car. It’s just a hell of asultry song and would have definitely driven Shawn even further up the wall.

Put in Work

“All Mine” by Kanye West – As we ALL know by this point, Kanyeis Shawn’s go-to gym music. When it comes to a one-shot that’s literallyuncalled for fantasy gym smut, what song would have been more fitting? Yeah, you supermodel thick, damn, that assbustin’ out the bottom, I'ma lose my mind in it. Definitely the wordspounding through Shawn’s airpods while watching Alex on the stair climber.

Bonus: “Skin” by Rihanna – Alex is a freak too, let’s bereal. Although I didn’t mention it in the fic, her gym play list is 100% heavyon Rihanna. This is the song that ends up on repeat anytime she watches Shawnlifting.

Might Just Be MyEverything and Beyond

“What’s Your Fantasy” by Ludacris ft Shawna – If you’re alate 90s baby and don’t know this song? You won’t understand how ridiculous itis that it’s Alex’s go-to karaoke song.

“Beyond” by Leon Bridges – For one, this is an altogetherbeautiful song. I listened to the acoustic version non-stop while writing thisone-shot and thus it’s where the title comes from. Just the kind of fluffyboyfriend vibes I imagined Shawn feeling waiting for his girl to come home.

“Lost in Japan – Remix” – Okay, ya’ll know this one. But I’mmentioning it anyways since it pops up in the insta story of Alex jamming outto it pool side, a proud girlfriend hyped for her man.

Slow Burn

“There’s No Way” by Lauv ft Julia Michaels – This songinspired the entire fic, tbh. It’s the definition of a Slow Burn song.

“American Girl” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers – Only mentionedin passing, but Shawn and co realize at some point early in the European legthat if you play this song? Alex loses her fucking shit. Even if she’s having abad time, cranky, pissy, argumentative, what have you – this song gets her to shoutalong and dance like the happiest little bean on earth. So it becomes a runninggag for them to play it whenever possible, just to watch the only American chickin the bar go nuts.

“Free Fallin’” by Top Petty and the Heartbreakers (but alsohave the live John Mayer cover in mind) – As slightly established in the firstchapter, Alex is a huge Petty fan. In chapter six, this is the song Shawn isattempting to teach her on the guitar. The one she’s too impatient to learn andmakes him just play for her instead.

“Feels Great” – Cheat Codes ft Fetty Wap & CVBZ – I couldn’tthink of a better song for the “young crew” to be listening to during a heated pre-showping pong game in the green room. It’s just a fun fucking song about beingyoung. That’s all.

“Outta My Head” by Khalid ft John Mayer – This is the songAlex is mumbling in the elevator before everything…intensifies. No deep reason here, I just bet they’ve all beenlistening to Khalid’s new album a ton and that song is a bop. Oh, and I GUESSthe lyrics are kind of fitting…. Can youfeel the tension? You’ve got my attention, I know we’re just friends but I’drather be together.

“Power Over Me” by Dermot Kennedy – These are the lyrics Iuse in the opening of the second chapter and a song that definitely inspired my interms of Shawn’s feelings for Alex. Especially early on, when everything isstill completely unspoken. Honestly, Dermot’s music has inspired me A LOT whilewriting this fic, so check him out if you’re not familiar.

“Uh Huh” by Julia Michaels – First off, Julia is a QUEEN. Hervibe is something I picture for Alex so I listen to Julia a lot particularlywhen writing more deeply from Alex’s point of view. Hence using it as theopening lyrics for chapter three. This is definitely a song that demonstrateshow Alex’s mind and body are at odds over her feelings for Shawn.

“Lost” by Dermot Kennedy – Again, on a constant Dermot kick.His lyrics are so poetic and it’s impossible not to take inspiration from him.I used his lyrics to open chapter four and I think they perfectly describe theatmosphere of that night in Krakow. I particularly love the lyric “since thatnight the moon has never looked the same” which I think perfectly puts the wayShawn and Alex both feel after that turning point of a night, dancing oncobblestone streets in the moonlight. Yep. Lost in feels again.

“Can I Be Him” by James Arthur – The perfect song about aguy falling for a girl that’s already attached. Because using TYB would havebeen to on the nose, haha.

“Peer Pressure” by James Bay ft Julia Michaels – If you’veread chapter six, it’s pretty obvious why I used these lyrics to start itoff. Generally, it’s another song I’ve listened to a lot while writing Slow Burn.It seems fitting for two people that are used to being in control of themselvesand their emotions but losing that control and giving into one another.

Look How They ShineFor You (Slow Burn Bonus)

“Yellow” by Coldplay – This song is a HUGE part of this littleblurb and I highly recommend listening to it while you read that one. It’sbeautiful as a piano cover and if you’ve ever heard the Vitamin String Quartetversion??? Jesus. Let’s just say that’s going to be the song Alex walks downthe aisle to someday. Now I’m all in my feels.

BONUS: Current Songson Repeat While I Write

Pretty much all of Lizzo’s “Cuz I Love You” album. It puts me in a kickass mood. That’s all.

“Falling like the Stars” by James Arthur – It’s just a sweetsong that makes me want to write Shawn and Alex all loved up.

“Wilderness” by Jon Bryant – See above. A song that makes mea soft little puddle of inspo.

“Can I be Honest?” by Anatu ft Zubi – I don’t know how Istumbled across this song but it’s fucking fantastic and you should listen toit.

“Night Moves” by Bob Seger – Alex is a classic rock junkie,if she could time travel she’d head straight back to the 70s (possibly the 60sso she could live through both decades). That’s her entire aesthetic, honestly.This is the type of song she puts on to dance around her hotel room while Shawnbegs her to hurry up and get ready to leave.

“Drive” by The Cars – Honestly, this is just a personalfavorite of mine because there’s something so 80s RomCom about being drivenhome by a guy you have romantical tension with. Maybe it just very, veryspecifically relates to my high school experience. A song that puts me in a starry-eyed,butterflies in the stomach type of writing mood.

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Update :)

Hey everyone, it’s been a while. You may have noticed that lately there’s been a bit of a decrease in daily posts here, and that I haven’t been as consistent with tagging, etc. For the past three months, I’ve been in the middle of an unexpected and extremely stressful house move. During this time, I’ve had very unreliable and inconsistent internet access, so I decided to run this blog on a queue, and add to it with intermittent reblogs whenever I could get the chance. To say it’s been frustrating is an understatement, and I sincerely apologize to those of you who have messaged me or sent me asks during this time – I’ve been so exhausted, it’s been impossible to keep up with everything.

Thankfully, the house move is now winding down (we’re now finally in the new house, but still unpacking, settling in, etc.), so I should at least be able to resume curating this blog with more of my usual attentiveness. I’d like to say that everything will now go back to normal, but….I’m honestly not quite sure what ‘normal’ is anymore. Over the last few months, I have been thinking long and hard about my continued involvement in SW fandom, and have come to some difficult, but, imo, necessary, conclusions.

Don’t worry, I am not leaving tumblr, nor am I going to stop posting on this blog. It means too much to me to do that. However, I feel I must make it clear that, from here on out, I can no longer have anything to do with any current or forthcoming ‘New Canon’ material, whether it be films, tv series (animated or otherwise), novels, comics….just…none of it. 

Most of you know me well enough by now that I don’t think I even need to explain why, but I will do so, just in case.... 

I had always intended to completely divorce myself from the Disney stuff once Star Wars: Rebels had finished airing, but since, for a variety of reasons, it turned out that I was never able to finish watching that show through to its conclusion, this ended up happening far sooner than I’d expected. (I won’t even get into my thoughts on the renewed Clone Wars season – the less I say about it, or even acknowledge its existence, the better…for the state of my mental and emotional health, at the very least.)

My reasons for wanting—no, needing— to stay as far away as possible from Disney’s version of Star Wars from now on are many and varied [see here, here, here, and here], but ultimately it comes down to several inter-related issues, the most key being that ever since TFA, I have not been able to trust Disney with Star Wars, and will never be able to fully trust them with it ever again. It does not matter how much ‘good’ material they put out to balance out the bad, it’s too late…the damage is done. And since the version of SW as put forth in the sequels is probably the worst, most out-of-character, inaccurate, and disrespectful interpretation of my beloved story that I could possibly imagine, I therefore cannot help but view the rest of Disney’s output (however innocuous, and regardless of who writes/directs/creates it) with extreme skepticism, and an anxiety bordering on panic.

As I’ve gone over many times before, the entire premise of the so-called ‘sequels’ is anathema to pretty much all of my long-held beliefs and understanding of the saga as a whole…and to what I had, for decades, assumed that other fans implicitly understood and valued as well. And so, the fact that so many fans have so readily embraced those movies and swallowed down Disney’s bizarro version of the SW saga without hesitation or question, has continued to leave me feeling more and more heart-broken and ostracized. Not only from an entire fandom, but also from popular culture in general. It’s made me realize that, for far too many people, ‘Star Wars’ is indeed just a blockbuster series of movies, and is not the mythical two-part saga that it is to me. For far too many people, it is now, at worst, an endless, profit-churning franchise…at best, another version of an expanded universe, albeit one that has been corporately ‘canonized’. 

The fact that I can no longer relate to most other SW fans is beyond depressing for me. Something I used to take for granted – the universal appeal and relatability of Star Wars as a modern myth—no longer exists. I can’t even talk about my beloved Star Wars with people in RL anymore, lest someone let slip a spoiler that will break my heart all over again.  It is no wonder that the lead-up to every subsequent release since then (even the ones I have been actively ignoring, which is most of them) has left me a shaking, nervous wreck….and given the often fragile state of my mental health in general, this has been downright dangerous for me at times. Even just stumbling across or hearing about SW related news and announcement can leave me distressed and despondent for days on end. It takes a herculean effort for me to then reclaim a positive headspace and find my ‘happy place’ again after something like this. So I blacklist as much as I can, but it doesn’t always work, because… in order to keep this blog even remotely active, I have to peruse other SW blogs for content. And, given my need to AVOID spoilers like the plague, I struggle to do this at the best of times. Disney has so oversaturated the market with their output that sometimes it seems like every damn day there is yet another announcement of some new release. It’s just too much, and the fact that there is no end in sight is demoralizing as hell. (I dream of creating a time machine and going back to before all of this shit, just to make it stAHP.) Ultimately, all of this combines together to leave me feeling completely alienated, stressed out, and just plain unhappy.

But no more, I say. This is FANDOM….it’s supposed to be FUN. It’s supposed to make me happy. Life is already horrifically depressing and stressful as it is. And what is more… this blog in particular is supposed to be my safe space. That’s what I created it to be, in the first place.

In short, the conclusion I’ve reached is this: in order to continue enjoying the REAL my preferred version of SW in the way that I need to engage with it, I MUST completely remove myself from new Disney content. If I do not, I will lose the ability to enjoy any of it at all. 

So, my friends, while I’m not going anywhere (not just yet anyway), I do need to ask you all to please continue being patient and understanding with me about these above-mentioned issues. If you want to engage in meta discussions with me, for instance, please be aware that I will only talk about interpretations of ‘Star Wars’ as Lucas’ saga (and anything that is supplementary or supportive of that), and will not engage with anything that tries to insinuate that the sequels nonsense is even remotely part of the same story. Likewise, I beg you all to please refrain from commenting on my posts or messaging me about anything to do with upcoming releases, news, or any Disney Star Wars stuff from this point on. Again, I’m happy to discuss past content…to an extent (if you’re not sure what, please feel free to message me for clarification). But any new Disney content I just….don’t want to hear about. At all. Even if you THINK I will like it or be ok with it. The fact is… I won’t. Because Star Wars is finished. It’s a completed story. ‘IT IS ALREADY OVER. NOTHING CAN BE DONE TO CHANGE IT.’  I neither want nor need any more from it – whether as a story OR a ‘franchise’ – than what already exists.  And I become stressed and anxious the moment anyone (purposefully or inadvertently) suggests that I ought to be watching/reading/seeing/hearing about what I personally feel is just a fake version of the REAL THING that I hold dear.

Finally, I just want to clarify that, because of all of this, it’s unlikely that I will be able to keep this blog up-to-date with all the ‘latest’ content (not that I ever have done so, lol). I will, however, continue to keep it to the standards I have set so far. As always, the subject matter will be mostly be Prequels Trilogy, along with the (original!!) Clone Wars animated series (aka, seasons 1-5), Rebels (but only up through season 4a), Rogue One, and, of course, the Original Trilogy. Some supplementary material from those eras may creep in, along with occasional EU content. I just I thought I’d better make it clear that there won’t be any further ‘new canon’ on this blog…. at least, not unless some kind of unforeseen miracle happens and Disney decides to de-canonize their shitty sequel trilogy and magically make me trust them again! (ha ha I can dream)

Because it’s so difficult for me to find new content on tumblr without running into stuff I do not want to see, I have for a while now had the goal of creating my own content for those times when I can’t find anything new. Frustratingly, due to the house move, I’ve been way too busy to even contemplate that in recent times, but I do have some still-unfinished and in-progress projects that I’d like to eventually share here. In addition to this blog, I also ‘curate’ my own RL Star Wars collection, so once I get a new safe place to set it up, expect regular photoshoots of my action figures and other collectibles as well. :)

Most of all, I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has stuck with this blog for so long. Thank you for respecting my various quirks, neuroses, and eccentricities, and for helping to keep this blog a safe space.

And to any new followers out there…. a belated, but very warm, welcome! :)  

[ktrashquotes]

MEANIE Hogwarts AU

i love meanie so so much bitch and this au is very specific and long so dont get traumatised please

they met on the train september 1st of their first trip to hogwarts

yeah they are on the same year just because i want to

mingyu is half blood and wonwoo is pure blood

mingyu was excited to go to hogwarts and wonwoo was just less excited, and kind of a bit nervous

being a introvert, he never had a lot of friends, but he always had soonyoung

they’ve been friends ever since diapers

wonwoos dad and soonyoungs dad were bffs in hogwarts thats why

so bros soonwon board hogwarts express tgt when the train wasnt close to full yet so they got an empty cabin very fast

mingyu is a different story

he was just late

so mingyu was supposed to meet his bros

his bros being seokmin and minghao

seokmin lived in the house next to his since before he was born and hao moved from china when they were like 6

but anyways, they were already on the train by the time gyu arrived so he just tried to find them and yeah he couldnt

but there was this cabin with only a boy inside

the boy being wonwoo (soonyoung went after candies a few minutes before)

mingyu just entered and asked the pretty boy with spectacles if he could take a seat

wonwoo got just a bit nervous with not being able to comunicate with the tall and tan boy but it just vanished when mingyu asked him about the book he was reading

it was alice trough the looking glass and it was one of wonus faves

it was also the second book mingyu ever read, after alice in wonderland duh

wonwoo smiled after mingyu said that and the younger thought it was such a beautiful sight

soonyoung never made back to the cabin cause he actually met seokmin who lost his dear friend on the train (the friend being minghao, who met junhui) and they just stumbled on a distressed boo seungkwan who didnt know which sweets to buy

the 3 ended up buying a lot of candy and thats how the gag trio started

but back to meanie, wonwoo and mingyu didnt care about where their friends were and just talked the whole way to hogwarts

talked about everything

they were very different

wonwoo was quiet and sarcastic while mingyu was loud and almost naive

but they really went well together

they shared the boat to the castle with another tall good looking boy and a pretty half asian hazel eyed boy (respectively junhui and hansol)

junhui wanted to be in slytherin just like wonwoo

hansol was just afraid of the selector hat

the selection went smooth, mingyu got to gryffindor

with soonyoung

they became buddies4life in the moment they sat together on gryffindor table

there was also the broad second year boy who treated them like they were his kids

thats seungcheol and they were his kids okay

mingyu was so happy he didnt even minded seokmin and minghao went together to hufflepuff, alongside hansol

wonwoo wasnt surprised when the hat said slytherin

he sat next to another first year, a very small one who was an introvert like him and who unlikely became one of his biggest companions (thats jihoon lol)

junhui was there with him too

the trio may or may not have got a bit nervous when a smug long haired second year said to the 3 of them the they would be best friends

jeonghan was excited to have more asians in hogwarts, just like his 2 best friends (and future boyfriends), seungcheol and jisoo

and jisoo was pleased in ravenclaw table with an overly excited seungkwan

back to meanie im sorry i just love all of them

mingyu and wonwoo got closer and closer

not being in the same house didnt make a difference in their building friendship

they got a curious group of friends, 12 very different asian boys

13 by the beginning of meanie second year when chan arrived

he was jisoos and seungkwans protegee in ravenclaw, and jeonghans baby

mingyu really loved his friends

and bitch wonwoo and mingyu were always together

like aLWAYS

mingyu never planned on falling in love with wonwoo, it just happened

he wasnt sure when it started, maybe from the start

wonwoo remembered the moment he realised he had a crush in mingyu

in was april of their second year and mingyu had leaves on his hair, his forehead showing, laughing adorably, canines and all

wonwoo was like “SHIT”

after the whole denial process he realised his crush on his closest friend started in the moment they met

he hoped it was just a crush (it wasnt)

so they were in love with each other but had no idea the feelings were reciprocate

their friends knew very well and were making bets on when and who was going to confess first (surprisingly wonwoo did)

they first kissed in wonwoo 14th birthday

they were sitting in the gardens and wonwoo was saying how he loved the book gyu gifted him when mingyu just blurted out he had another present to wonwoo

when wonwoo questioned what it was mingyu kissed him

none of them had kissed before so it was messy and funny, but also actually good

they spent 4 days avoiding each other afterwards, which was like hell to their friends

seungcheol being the dad made them go back to normal

still, they didnt talked about the kiss

only a year after, in mingyu 15th birthday

there was this girl who was mingyu friend and she clearly liked him

wonwoo overheard the girl saying to a friend that she was going to confess to gyu on his birthday

wonwoo went batshit, having no clue on what to do

jihoon said he should man up and confess to mingyu before it was too late

and so he did

it was midnight, mingyus birthday, they were alone in the astronomy tower

wonwoo asked the younger about that kiss a year before

mingyu was shook, which just made wonwoo more nervous but anyways he was brave enough to confess everything

mingyu kissed him so sweetly and softly

after kissing a lot, gyu said he felt the very same

so shockingly, jihoon and soonyoung won the bet

not much changed between wonwoo and mingyu

the same plus holding hands and kissing

they were considered hogwarts best looking couple every single year because well vISUALS

seungkwan thought he and hansol were clearly better, after they got together in 5th year

junhui and minghao also disagreed

anyways, wonwoo and mingyu were just wonwoo and mingyu

and when their graduation happenend, they knew they would stick together, following their own different paths, like everything about them, but together

indeed, wonwoo and mingyu married 6 years later, on may 17

their families were there

their 11 best friends were there too, the family they built over a decade before

jihancheol were so proud of their babies, seungkwan was crying in hansols shoulder and seokmin had one of his brightest smiles ever and chan was just really really really rEALLY happy

soonyoung sobbed during the whole thing, holding jihoons hand (shockingly jihoon had tears in his eyes

junhui and minghao hugged meanie couple so thightly, wonwoo could feel all the love they felt for the newlyweds (mingyu cried the thirteenth time that day)

back to meanie, after doing other things, from the ministry to the daily prophet, they actually oppened a cafe/library together in the diagon alley a year before their wedding

it was a success duh

wonwoo filled the shelves with every kind of book he could find, magical AND muggle

mingyu just loved cooking and he was REALLY good okay, everyone wanted to taste his food, that had both magic and muggle worlds represented

and then you know they lived happily ever after

[flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash]

Hey Ash! Can you please recommend me a few good slow burn fics that's like 100k? It doesn't matter which fandom :) thanks!

Okay, so I went through my bookmarks and such all over my laptop, because it actually was reminding me of older slow burns I loved and now I want to re read some of them. A lot of these are well over 100k. When I go for slow burns, I don’t play around lol. I also tend to prefer reading ships with 2 canon characters for slow burns, rather than OC characters, but that’s just a personal preference, so that’s why these are mainly ships. Enjoy!

Forward to a Time Past by Unbridled Brunette (~270k words, Buffy/Spike) This is a time travel slow burn, if you’re into that pairing. It’s AMAZING! Buffy goes back in time to Victorian London, when Spike is the still human, very shy, very virginal William. It’s brilliant. And it was the first fic that had me all in with the idea of an inexperienced man who is “taught” by the woman. It has that Pride & Prejudice vibe, where it’s scandalous to even touch bare hands, let alone make love to someone when unmarried, and I’m such a sucker for that. I remember being upset when I finished this story, because I knew I wouldn’t find a Spike/Buffy slow burn that I loved this much ever again…and I haven’t. 

You Know Better by @xteenwolfwritingsx (~77k words, Peter Hale/OC, Teen Wolf) This is hands down the best long Peter fic I have ever read! As I said, I don’t typically go for OC/you characters for longer fics, but this OC was so relatable and well-written, and I remember reading the first chapter of this and having to put my phone down, because I was just like, “Holy shit, I’m gonna become so obsessed with this story”. And I am. I read it twice in two weeks. I haven’t read the newest couple of chapters, purely because I know the author said that it’s going to be finished soon, so I’m waiting until it’s completed so I can go back and read it a third time from the beginning and take it all in, start to finish. The premise is that the OC/you asks Peter to teach her how to fight, so she’s not just the helpless human of the group. And oh boy…Peter as a fighting instructor…god…yea…it’s hot. I was about to scream waiting for them to finally rip each other’s clothes off, and god it was so worth the wait when they did! If you’re at all into Peter, read this! 

Your Hands Can Heal, Your Hands Can Bruise by blackestnight10 (~430k words, Daryl Dixon/OC) Sadly, this is not a completed story. And honestly, I don’t remember a lot of details about it, but it was the first long Walking Dead fic I ever read. It’s Daryl with an OC character, and the two things I do remember is that the OC kicked ass and yet was also likeable and intriguing, and that it was a torturous slow burn. I mean, it’s realistic to Daryl, because I don’t see him as someone who jumps in bed with anyone, so the author stayed really in canon with his character. And I stayed up late many a night devouring it. 

Spiced Molasses by MonDieu666 (~140k words, Daryl/Beth) - This one is a fantastic AU slow burn. Beth’s parents are assassinated, and she and her two siblings have to be put into protective custody in separate locations. Rick calls in Daryl, the irritable lone ranger agent, to watch Beth. Cue one of my favorite tropes: them stuck unwillingly in a tiny apartment together, at first not liking each other, where they dance around each other until finally giving in to their desires. It’s a fabulous story!

18 Miles Out by MonDieu666 (~190k words, Daryl/Beth) - I’ll admit that I don’t remember a whole lot of details on this one…but I DO remember that I wrote down which chapters the smut is in and kept it handy, because I went back countless times to re read those chapters, since they were so sexy. This author is fabulous for her longer Bethyl fics (she wrote the previous one and this next one, as well). 

Damaged Heroes by MonDieu666  (~135k words, Daryl/Beth) - I’m also struggling to remember the details of this one. I think I get this story and 18 Miles Out mixed up a lot, and it’s been years since I read them, but they were both fabulous and worth a read.

I’ll Be Yours for a Song by dynamicsymmetry (~380k words, Daryl/Beth) This is a breathtakingly beautiful AU fic. In the first chapter, Daryl drives down a country road and finds Beth walking, soaking wet, in the rain. He debates on if he should stop and offer her a ride, and when he does, it kick starts a romance that is just…ugh, so good. I will admit that I didn’t get the entire way through it (it’s a pretty long fic) because I kept getting side tracked by other fics, but it’s one that I still, even over a year later, keep open on a Safari tab on my phone, and I want to go back and re read it from the beginning at some point…maybe that’ll be my goal for the beginning of 2018. This author writes Daryl and Beth exactly how I picture they would be together. The hesitation, the fear of falling in love, the hurdles of their age difference (Beth is still in high school at the beginning of it, altho I believe she’s 18). It’s just magical. 

Howl by dynamicsymmetry (~383k words and still being written, Daryl/Beth) This is another story that I need to catch up on, because I’ve gotten way behind on it. It’s another AU, this time with Rick and the gang being werewolf shapeshifters, and Beth being…well…I don’t want to spoil the surprise, because that’s part of the mystery, is her discovering who she is and how she stumbles upon werewolf Daryl in the beginning. This fic hit some kinks I didn’t even realize I had…and I’m not ashamed to admit that I still have some fanart saved on my phone based off this fic, of Daryl in werewolf form banging human Beth XD

Eden by obsessmuch (~265k words, Hermione Granger/Lucius Malfoy) Sooo this story is FUCKED UP! I mean seriously, it is not for the faint of heart. I don’t think I’ve ever read a more angst-ridden fic in my entire life…but holy shit, I loved it. This is not a fluffy romantic type of slow burn, ohhh no. This is Lucius at his most vicious. He tortures the fuck outta Hermione in the beginning, and you hate him with a fiery passion, the same way Hermione does. And yet, this Stockholm-Syndrome type obsession starts between them, and forms into a fucked up version of love. Also, the ending…oh my god, I still sometimes sit and think about the ending. If you’re at all intrigued by the idea of a dark as hell fic that’ll chew you up and spit you back out with all the feels, give this one a chance. But don’t say that I didn’t warn you ;)

Chasing the Sun by Loten (490k words, Hermione/Snape) This was my first fandom ship, over a decade ago, and I just started diving back into it a few months ago, so I have a ton of long fics to catch up on. However, Loten currently is, and I think quite likely will always be, my favorite Snamione author. Both this fic and the next one on the list by her are my immediate recommendations for someone wanting to try out this pairing. She dives into the psychology of Snape in a way that is just…perfect. I don’t know how anyone can question them being together as a couple after reading both her long fics. The slow burn in this is slow…reallll slow, but holy fuck is the smut worth the wait. But it makes sense, because it starts out when Hermione is 15 or 16, I think (there’s zero romance or even physical awareness of each other until she’s 17, though, since that’s the Wizarding age of consent). It’s more a journey of their interactions together, and it’s honestly a beautiful story. It sticks to canon in the beginning, then goes off the rails, but in a way that I really enjoyed. It was Snape getting the part in the war and taking down Voldemort that he deserved, in my opinion. Loten also includes Crookshanks in her stories, and I really wish more Snamione authors would do this. The scenes with Crookshanks and Snape added so much humor and fluff to the story, both this one and the next fic. 

Post Tenebras, Lux by Loten (~310k words, Hermione/Snape) So, where the last fic was how Hermione and Snape would come together while she was still at school and during the war, this fic takes a look at how they would get together 10 years after the war is over. Snape has disappeared, most people think he died in the Shrieking Shack, even tho a body was never found…until Hermione literally runs into him one day, 10 years later, and it kicks start their interactions. Since the war is over in this fic, it is 100% character driven, and focuses solely on the development of the relationship of these two. If you need swash buckling action and a grand, dramatic plot like taking down Voldemort in a fic, this isn’t for you. But I LOVED it. It’s not as slow a burn as Loten’s other fic, but it delves into the post-war traumas and psychology of both Snape and Hermione in a way that had me hooked from the very beginning. It spans years of their relationship, and how they would develop not just from meeting to falling in love (like where most fics then stop) but beyond and throughout their entire lives. And, like Loten’s other fic, it gave Snape the true love and happy ending that I believe he deserves, and it had me grinning like a fool the rest of the day after I finished it. 

Pet Project by Caeria (~340k words, Hermione/Snape) This is quite the epic slow burn…I mean, when I say it’s slow, it’s SLOW (literally 95% of it is the slow burn). It had me so captivated, and I loved Hermione’s personal “mission” to try and show Snape that he had someone on his side..without him realizing someone was actually trying to be on his side. They were both so in character, especially while they were at Hogwarts. This is another one where she starts out as a student, but it’s once again not romantic or sexual until she’s at least 17. The part where she makes him magical sheets is a scene that will always stick out in my memory. As is the scene where they sit together on the staircase of Grimmauld Place. 

Okay, I’m gonna stop now. Those are the main ones I found when scouring my google sheets, laptop bookmarks, and bookmarks on sites like ao3 and FF. 

If anyone reads any of these and wants to discuss them, PLEASE feel free to message me! I LOVE discussing fics, especially slow burn fics that give me all the feels, so that I can squeal with someone else over the feels. 

[thefangirldaylighter]

So uh, I wrote a thing. I do t know if you like it, or if it’s understandable at all (I wrote this at 1am because I didn’t want to sleep). The pronouns are confusing? But usually if you don’t know who they/them are, it’s probably the FBI (also I searched everywhere for the name of the two FBI agents and I couldn’t find it anywhere, but I think one of them is named Browning?? If not lol my mad)

-

But here’s the plot:

The FBI looking into Neil after roasting Riko on live television and finds out that he’s really Nathaniel Wesninski

Doesn’t do anything but watch from afar - does however step in during the Baltimore scene

-

Despite the fact that Riko belonged to the second branch, he had a lot of people watching him. His fathers men, his fans but also the FBI. So when one day there is this kid from out of nowhere roasting Riko on live television shortly after joining the foxes, they take notice of him. Neil Josten, the boy without a real identity.

It was Browning that first noticed the connection. It wasn’t the badly colored hair or the contact lenses that gave it away - after all, its difficult to notice a difference through a picture. What gave made Officer Browning connect the two lines was the smug grin he had on his face when he finished his speech to Riko.

The same smile as his father.

It seemed that the little son of the butcher of Baltimore was indeed not dead, but the way he was acting, it wouldn’t be long before someone finally delivered the killing blow.

Instead of doing anything to protect the kid, they decided to use him as bait. It wouldn’t be long before someone finally crossed the line and approached the kid. It would however be their last act to do so. They would finally have proof that allowed them to attack the Moriama and Wesninski families, and bring them down brick by brick. Their one true hope had been arrived as if out of nowhere, but they would on to this hope, and they would go to great extents to tear down the Moriama regime. Hopefully it would be an impact that hit where it hurt the most. In the heart.

The death of the striker Seth Gordon was difficult to know whether it was an accident or not. The boy had a history of drug abuse, but Browning and his men also knew that Kengo had a short temper and didn’t like to messed with - it wouldn’t be surprising that his son was the same. However, it was to vague, and they didn’t really have any real evidence.

Under close supervision they followed the boy very closely. It was a mistake not to see the Spear incident. It could have been avoided, they however only know as much as the Wesninski son did. Was it reckless to only follow their bait, and not their target?

It wasn’t difficult to see how Drake Spear had gotten a plane ticket and a visit with one of the Wesninski boys closest companions, and that was something they could use to their own advantage.

It would be easier to watch over the boy with Minyard gone, and they solid and sloppy evidence left behind which they could use against the Moriyamas.

It was risky to send the kid to ravens nest, but what if this ruined the whole plan? Could they get anywhere with the small information and details they had about Riko? And would it damage the main branch at all? It wasn’t worth the risk, so they only watched as he went to Virginia.

They were concerned when he returned two weeks later. He now looked very much like his father, aside from the bruises of course. To think that the son of Nathan Wesninski would be wounded like this from anyone else than his father and his goons. They weren’t sure if it was a surprise or not. When they had people stationed in the Wesninski manor they found out Mary Hatford as well had a tendency to use her fists. He was used to beating, but to see a Wesninski wound? That is not something you see everyday.

The poor kid really, when would he catch a break? Minyard at least was back, so he would have someone protecting him up close. There was only so much they could do, and in case of an attack, they weren’t sure they could do anything to actually prevent it.

The word of his fathers release was unsettling. Especially when they were informed through a second hand source that there had been a nasty joke written on the walls in the court the very same day. Maybe the kid was a part of something bigger, and that was the real reason for why he hadn’t run away already. Maybe the kid has a death wish wondered Browning out loud.

50 days. His father was free, and a couple of hours later there was a riot. They didn’t have to check if he was there, they were already on their way to Baltimore, Maryland. The real question was if they should go to the Wesninski residence and arrest them there, or they should take them before they arrived. There was after all a lot of damage that could be inflicted while being in a car.

They wanted to take all of them in one go, so they decided to wait till the kid arrived his childhood home.

10 years on the run, and finally back in hell.

He must have given up all hope now thinks Browning. Who would be there to rescue him? In a couple of hours they would of course send the kid to the hospital and make sure that no one would hurt him ever again, but the Wesninski child didn’t know that.

It’s all so surreal thinks Browning. After a decade of searching they find the boy in the most random way, and now they will save him from the clutches of the devil.

In a couple of hours there will be a police car arriving the Wesninski residence. In that car there will be a corrupted policeman, a broken boy and a murderous woman. In the house there will be a man waiting with a dull cleaver for that broken boy, and he will wear the same grin the boy had been wearing only a couple of months earlier. There will be blood shed. And people will die. But it will not be the boy, it will not be the tiny broken boy that is Nathaniel Wesninski. He will not be okay, but he will have time to heal. His father will not.

Stuart Hatford did not show up this day. For the only saviors that Nathaniel Wesninski had was them.

When they get the call from a certain coach they will be ready. All the information of where they are going to stay, and the well-being of the boy will told. There is no use keeping this from them says Browning, and the rest of them will agree. They have seen how the rest of the team has become a family to this boy. And they know that this new family will not be like his old - this family will heal what the old family has broken. It will take some time, but what is time when you have a life ahead of you?

Andrew Minyard will recognize their faces when they meet the team. The rest of the team will too, but will be needed a couple of minutes to process it. The team will remember them as the man who once held open the door for them when they were carrying their sports equipment, or as the woman who always was jogging in front of the court before and after practice, or as the grumpy old man talking nonsense to the air while feeding ducks, or even as the professor that transferred late into the year but everyone knew the face of. After today they will never see any of them again, but will be enough. The team will know what they have done, and they can decide for themselves if they agree with their actions.

Andrew Minyard will not, but he doesn’t exactly look like the forgiving type. When Nathaniel Wesninski stumble in the door a little while later there won’t be anyone in handcuffs. But the mood in the room will be tense before the arrival of the broken boy.

No matter the scenario, there will never be a day that the foxes will stop supporting Nathaniel Wesninski. The team will move heaven and earth before they’ll let anyone take their newly made fox away from them. They are team, and the boy is a part of it. Browning and his men were of course already aware of this. They haven’t been watching this boy for months for nothing after all. And it is because of this that they know that it’s no use to convince any of them otherwise.

Nathaniel is broken, but he’s already being mended. His family is here, and they will protect him. They will hug him, kiss him and be there for him. They will never hit him, beat him or hurt him. And for that they are grateful. The broken boy will be placed in perhaps not careful hands, but it will be safe. So when they take him away for questioning there will be protests, but they will be reassured that he will come back to them. Minyard will make sure of it. The steady grip he has on the boy is comforting.

They are ready to let go of the broken boy that is Nathaniel Wesninski. They are however not ready to let go of Neil Josten. He has meant too much for them, and they’ll still follow him, but not in the same way as before.

[theskyexists]

Revolution of the Daleks

im actually really happy with this, Yaz not being able to let go. Ryan and Graham having practice. i could wish a million things had happened with Ryan (!) and Graham before but this is as good as it’s gonna get from this point

i like the way they’re trying to imitate the Doctor explicitly

‘this is hard, innit?”

‘have you had work done?’ ‘you can talk!’ (that sounded so Nine and Jack!!! hahahaa) edit: it was litearlly Ten and Jack

reference!

DOCTOR AND JACK HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leo......is a very cynical representation of an amoral scientist.

How the hell is Trump-analogue the sane one here lolololol. but he’s dumb enough to leave incinerating the thing to Leo.

what an idiot - opening the casing. im not really into how the narrative is basically like: trump is right about stupid scientists! hah...

the banter between jack and the doctor is so good? imitation of the original product clearly but still GOOD

love how the Doctor instantly goes - i need to go see the fam

she was in space jail for decades (she doesn’t mention the decades)

THAT MOMENT OF MATERIALISATION WAS SO GOOD

noooooooooooooooo OUCH - ouch! YAZ!

‘im sorreh’

SHE DOESN’T MENTION HOW SHE’S BEEN LOCKED IN PRISON FOR FUCKING DECADES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my god Doctor. give them some perspective PLEASE

Jack’s ‘whoops’ is hilarious if you consider his history with teh Doctor

Ryan - god i love Ryan.

Actually didn’t like Graham’s response to Jack. narratively, homophobic

absolutely despise the orange lettering

this episode really goes to show that Chibnall thinks structurally extremely slowly. he picks threads up from ages ago. and then he does do something decent with it. does this mean that the longer he keeps on the better it will get?

i think it’s pretty fuckin hilariously sad though that the companions are once again relegated to couriers - they note that they can’t do stuff on their own (even though the season finale last time gave them ‘Doctor-like’ sequences even if they never managed to impact the story of the Doctor herself - so i guess we’ve gone backwards in this arc) and then they CAN’T do stuff on their own and the Doctor comes in

it’s not the Doctor OR the companions Chibs. and if these companions are just incapable - make that a point! that would be a wonderful contrast to Clara

Woah Jack fuckin infodump

aahahhaa

i do love Yaz’s response. this seems to build up to some final DESERVED - i need to know MORE doctor - now.

‘oh she’s good’ - that’s such a RTD thing to say. chibs just directly copy-pasting a lot here. this is acceptable if he can give it new meaning. inverse meaning

why even drop two people off - whats the Doctor gonna do - nothing?

i actually like the new dalek design very much. oh confront Robertsen? i still can’t get used to the explicit task division set-up - even if this time it was used for characterisation

i - adore. this talk between Jack and Yaz. because it’s Yaz accessing so much shit from the Doctor’s past suddenly. and then it becomes extra clear that Jack’s and the Doctor’s connection was kinda romantic in whatever way - and it’s directly paralleled with Yaz. that romantic tragic attachment - doomed to hurt. (i.e. my fav)

god mandip gill is yeeting this out of the park. I LOVE IT. i love these lines. ‘we’re the lucky ones yaz’ - graham also told her something like this in demons of the punjab.

‘the joy, is worth the pain’ - is it? Jack thinks so - still! my god.that’s so tragic - so beautiful. so much rtd feel here.

jezus chibnall - fuckin sonic gun even???? ‘thanks, that’s it??’ hahahahaha. ok you did good. nobody’s ever impressed at it. LOL DAMN YAZ

‘they’re growing daleks’ - this secondary reveal doesn’t matter bc no reveal would have been a genuine reveal anyway

the new prime minister givin her speech and the doctor explaining daleks should have had snappier editing - specifically the music should not have gone back to simple british empire horns or whatever- but should have had an undertone of dalek in there

really! ALIEN REFERENCES! MY GOD CHIBNALL!!! everybody was thinking it but you did it.... i guess it’s done now. sexual politics wise i’d say Robertsen might have been a much better choice.

guns and explosives will solve everything!!!!!! oh chibnall

i love this lil talk between Ryan and teh Doctor - because it goes to show that the Doctor actually really cared. it would be fitting if they all left now actually lol - that would be nice and dramatic. Jodie is doing great on the acting here - i can FEEL the warning messages in her brains going AAAAAAAAAAA im losing this one!!!!

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Ryan - oh finally - finally this is coming out. calling her out, ‘how do you feel about that’‘  - the counsellor

‘things change, all the time, and they should, cos they have to’ - oh ffffff and ryan inverts things on her. oh i would have loved that if they’d done the extensive groundwork for it. now it just feels like a final death knell - the Doctor paternalised in classic Doctor words by her pseudo-son (but not really bc we never got it for real). couldn’t chibnall have left that for a dude actor ....

i love Jodie’s acting here my GOD. the mouth, the thin lips. The Doctor’s thinking - ah ive lost him - he doesn’t need me at all. ‘always’ this is Ryan’s motif actually. Yaz said the same thing about him.

LOL and Leo reveals himself only when the bombs have been planted and the Doctor’s arrived

lol ok that’s a pretty grisly reveal chibs, BUT would have been cooler if Yaz somehow found out herself and not through villain exposition. Robertsen really is VERY good comic relief here ‘this is a pr disaster’

that was actually a GOOD use of the Doctor going hmmm what’s wrong here and Yaz going well maybe this

ok but because chibnall has such dumb and obvious twists all the time it makes the Doctor always look dumb for slowly stumbling through a self-deprecating  explanation. the least authoritative doctor ever my god.... like she could feel the shock to her system coming and that’s why she was born so un-self-assured. hate that shit. not what i wanted

the recon dalek used ultra viiolet light to teleport. lol. but then the Doctor is too late to stop it. hmm a bit uh..........idk conflicted about all the poc getting exterminated at the border...is this irony???

so how is the Dalek electrocuting Leo with nothing but a shitty slime body? also don’t like that. especially because Robertsen is getting away scot free again probably

‘no weapons’ (what about the bombs - couldn’t jack have interjected with knowledge on that shit - before the daleks teleported mysteriously????) ‘no time to think’ - Doctor i thought it was established that you could think at 3000 miles per fraction of a second.

forget it. forget it forget it forget it. chibnall and I will never agree on this. if the Doctor hits rock bottom here - then it better be a companion that picks her back up. nope, she gets back up herself. best job they’ve done so far on that i admit but then they cut immediately to a leisurely discussion as people are getting gunned the fuck down in the streets.

ah, shes inviting the original fleet to destroy these daleks which are ‘corrupted’

why..................did they explain the whole plan before it happened. WHY. OH WHY! is Chibnall so structurally BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!

this would have WORKED as a GOOD twist if he’d made it an actual fucking TWIST. please chibs....let me at the scripts....please....

the stakes are also not well-established because none of the companions said: oh shit but we could barely get rid of ONE, now there’s thousands!

‘they shouldn’t know im here’ *materialises TARDIS right in front of hundreds of Daleks*

this whole scene between the two sets of Daleks would have been great if we hadn’t been spoiled

is................Robertsen gonna pay for his arrogance - ignoring the Doctor? or is the Doctor’s ineffective ‘get back here’ going to be the last we see of this. Betraying the Doctor?

Chibs if you dont make this guy pay i will give up

Ryan stepping up to save Earth. hmmhm.

Jack: w-wait are you okay with this?

Jack she’s been sending these idiots in without supervision for no reason for ages. she just did it with Yaz?? but its a nice era-contrast - even if the meaning is muddled

So i guess Jack’s just got hundreds of bombs on him? at all times?

who the fuck doctors the script

why............did Chibnall regress Graham’s and Ryan’s relationship into awkwardness in their final episode. that’s just plain sad.

inversely, NOW would have been good to know the second plan because then we would have known why the Daleks knowing about the Doctor is bad SPECIFICALLY

‘even if we blow up the ship, theres still SAS daleks marauding through earth’s skies’ she says, like she wasn’t supposed to have a plan to stop them ??????

‘right’ she said, walked off, and then didn’t think of a plan

‘orrr.... you’re gonna have to trust me on this one Yaz’

this is such a TERRIBLE and unsubtle and stupid way to segue into discussing the Doctor’s problems with disappearing

WHY IS CHIBNALL HAVING THEM SAVE ROBERTSEN - fuck this! FUCK THIS!

wow - that’s really shit of the Doctor - just telling a TARDIS to destroy itself completely......

really chibnall.....really you’re gonna let this man get away LIKE THIS. I’m done. i’m done. im sorry but this is not something to just PLAY with. letting a Trump guy get the better of the female Doctor not once, but twice? this makes me so sad. and im done. it’s just insult after insult. he just doesn’t GET it. this is too close to my heart. this is not a GAME. this is supposed to be a  fucking POWER FANTASY - and he can’t even fucking make it that. he can’t discuss the problems with power because he can’t even FATHOM the Doctor as a power fantasy in this form. fuck. this.

‘can you believe that’ - ‘yeah i can’

thanks - thanks for this political hopelessness on top of the real shit Chibnall. that’s not what Doctor Who is about - that’s the starting point - not the fucking end state

i know it’s supposed to be related to Ryan and how it’s quite subtly about making the world a better place politically bc it’s going to hell - and Robertsen is definitely coming back because chibnall just does that shit

but

if he wanted to do that he should have had Ryan and Robertsen have a confrontation this episode

a hug. a HUG. my god. so what was the absence of hugs all about then? now im grumpy about THAT. fck

this is good acting, good lines, good normal ending to Graham’s time in the TARDIS, it ties in just a little bit with his family arc. but it’s not particularly coherent - guess that;s life ?

‘it’s ok to be sad’ - cut to black. that was good

so the conclusion is that all they needed to be like the Doctor is a little gadget. this is deeply incoherent but it appeals to me anyway. and i dont really understand how Robertsen features into protecting the planet from aliens then

what is this weird Ryan speech lol. Tosin did incredibly good on making that seem halfway organic.

ok so Grace appearing made me tear up lol