#you ever just have a fixation run its course but its your ocs and it feels like they died

[pxper-riings]

.

[facetsofthecloset]

I have been thinking a lot about vampires and my recent ADHD diagnosis and now I’m thinking about vampirism as a metaphor for ADHD (though I’m sure I’m not the first person to make this comparison)

(Warning for personal mental health rambling and suicide mentions) (also blood bc vampires)

The bulk of it is the constant…aching. The world feels like sandpaper on my brain, always and forever, unless I have something distracting me or keeping me focused.

(Or possibly if I get medication. Which I have not yet because did you know Adderall and other stimulant ADHD meds are straight up banned in Japan bc it’s potentially abusable?!?!? I had no idea the laws were THAT fucking draconic bc I’m not really a drug person personally. Like obviously I knew about pot being illegal but ADDERALL?? I’m 100% certain based on personal experience with suicide ideation caused by chronic understimulation that this is a factor in Japan’s high suicide rate!!!! I literally get suicidal when I’m hungry and I’m sure that’s due at least in part to the emotional disregulation and difficulty identifying emotions/triggers, although I need to discuss that with my psychiatrist next time!)

Lots of vampire stories/lore touch on the hunger for blood in kind of similar terms, or at least in ways that aren’t too far off.

A deep down, uncontrollable and insatiable longing, a drive that can cause you to fixate on achieving a goal that you think will satisfy you, yet every success has a hollowness at its core bc you KNOW that satiation is temporary?

A drive that can be destructive and detrimental to you and everyone around you if you’re not careful or always mindful?

A need that can be overpowering, intoxicating, pushing you to temptation and impulse, or subtle and pervasive and creeping in the background?

Familiar, right?

At least vampires know there’s one answer that will satisfy them every time, even if it’s temporary. People with ADHD have to jump from stimulus to stimulus, spending so much energy just searching for a solution, never knowing what might do the trick.

Or having something that works today be a useless dried out husk tomorrow.

Then there’s the tendency of ADHD folks to be night owls—not always of course, but I think it’s relatively common? Or at least having irregular/unaligned-to-broader-society sleep schedules. Oh, and schedules, who ever heard of a vampire with schedules? (Don’t @ me I’m sure there are plenty of examples in media 😂, but I’m talking your stereotypical pop culture Dracula [and not to actual book Dracula since that guy actually seems to have had a schedule or at least an agenda lol])

Discworld vampires who take up the Black Ribbon (a vow to not drink human blood for those who don’t know) do it by switching their fixation on drinking blood to something else—explicit textual examples being light (in practice photography)(Otto Chriek my beloved) and coffee (don’t let the beans run out). I think you can argue this as more of a special interest than hyperfixation, but they’re along similar lines.

You can also talk about the social isolation. It’s not always true but plenty of people with ADHD have a hard time in general society bc the way we think doesn’t align. Vampiric isolation tends to be more along the lines of not wanting to live near something that could and would kill you so obviously not a one to one there, but there’s also lots of media that depict sympathetic vampires who WANT to be part of society “normally” but can’t bc people don’t understand them and thus don’t want them around.

I don’t really know how to end this, it’s just something I was thinking about today. I’ve always liked vampires as a concept but never thought about the need for blood as the main appeal—but maybe subconsciously I was relating to it?

Idk I’m dizzy and tired and want the sandpaper to go away. I’m gonna go play around with my vampire OC lol

[mobagehelllocal]

"huling sayaw"

twst oc week - day seven: free day or alternate universe

*arknights au

“hold my hand, before we have to give each other up everything, I will give to you. everything.”

She had been on the run for days.

Raina gritted her teeth as she tugged her hood lower across her face to shield herself from the heat of the sun. She turned around, her eyes squinted as she glanced at her fellow travellers. Most of them (just like her) bore the mark of the Infection—Oripathy. Dark, crystal shapes that emerge from the skin.

“... We shouldn’t be too far away now.” She kept her voice calm and in control—even if she wanted to scream and cry about how unfair their situation was.

“Where exactly are we going, Raina-nee?” Her eyes met that of a child, clutching onto her older sister. Both had contracted Oripathy the most common way: being exposed to a dead body with the disease. Her heart broke—their futures, stolen from them. Not by the disease, but by the treatment they received from their homeland—Laterano.

It was the Laterano decree, that those who became Infected were forbidden from staying or entering Laterano territory.

“... We’re going to Rhodes Island.” Her smile trembled—and she was sure it was more of a grimace. “I am friends with the Doctor there—we exchanged research quite a bit before...” her voice trailed off. “... If there is a place who will accept us... I’m sure Rhodes Island will.” She looked up, and hoped that there was nothing but determination on her face. “So just a bit more everyone..! We can do this.” She helped guide everyone across the sandy terrains they were crossing before—

She raised her head again and peered into the distance. The sun had just begun to set, dragging its brilliant colours of red and yellow past the horizons. In its wake, the sky began to darken purple and blue--like a bruise.

“We’ll need to set up camp soon...” Her hand reached up, and clamped tight on a small, diamond shape charm that hung around her neck. She felt her heart twist as she traced the shape with a finger—her eyes watered, and the smile she had been desperately holding up—immediately curled downward.

‘I miss them, gods I miss them. I don’t know how to live without them.’

After all, It was the first time, since she was born, that she was separated from them.

--

“Sankta Raina. You are accused of harbouring Infected when it was clearly against Laterano Law. Do you deny it?”

“I do not—but do you not have any humanity in you? These people are still Laterano citizens and are owed help by our government, on our lands—”

“Silence, Sankta Raina. You were not asked to speak.”

“That’s—”

“Sankta Raina. You are also accused of being Infected yourself… and hiding it from Laterano Authorities. Do you deny it?”

“… I do not.”

“Then you and your harboured Infected will be banished and stripped of your Laterano Citizenship and Privileges…”

“Are you serious? Now of all times, we should be united in understanding Oripathy and healing it…! Banishing me—us—it will not cure or help anything—You are just delaying something inevitable—!”

“Out there, you are no longer our concern or our problem. You are on your own, Sankta Raina. You will be stripped of your firearms on your way out of Laterano. Do you have any last-minute requests to make of us?”

“Oh, so now you ask!?”

“Speak it. And perhaps we will permit it.”

“… You won’t tell the twins.”

“Naturally. The two of them are core members of Laterano’s Apostolic Gun-Knights. Their very reputation… their future would be tarnished by your actions… No, the two of them will be kept far away from the trouble you have caused, Sankta Raina.”

“… I’m glad we can agree on one thing.”

--

‘Jade, Floyd... I hope you two are okay. I hope you are not kicking up too much of a ruckus...’ she couldn’t help but desperately pray to any god or higher being that could be listening.

The twins were well loved in Laterano due to their effectiveness as Apostolic Gun-Knights and enforcers of the Laterano law. Their future in Laterano was brilliant—and not one she wanted to mar with her selfish actions.

“Perhaps… I can meet them again one day…” she raised a hand to trace the scars of Oripathy on her cheek. ‘But who am I kidding…’ It would be impossible to cross paths with them again—knowing that Laterano was likely going to send them as far away from her as possible.

‘So until I discover a cure… I can’t see them… and even then, with what I’ve done… Laterano will not make it easy.’ She gritted her teeth, the tears started to gather at the edge of her lashes and she started breathing heavily in an attempt to not let the tears fall.

‘I can’t cry..! If they were here—! They would tell me not to cry—!’

Her thoughts are cut off by a sharp scream behind her. She turned immediately, and what she saw made her eyes widen.

‘Laterano’s Apostolic Gun-Knights!?’

She rushed over to her group as she rubbed fiercely at her eyes to ensure there were no tears before she confronted the Gun-Knights. She slid to a stop and spread her arms out in a protective stance over her group.

“We were peacefully allowed to leave Laterano territory.” Her eyes narrowed and she bared her teeth. “So why are you here? Threatening my companions?”

The Gun-Knight peered at her.

“Are you Sankta Raina?”

“Y—yes. Why do you need to know—!?” Before she could finish her sentence, the Head Gun-Knight gestured with his fingers and two of his accomplices quickly manoeuvred themselves to hold her down on either side. “What are you—?”

“We have reasons to believe that the criminals we are chasing down are looking to meet up with you.” The Head Gun-Knight said. “So we are using you as bait.”

“Criminals?” She questioned, stunned. “What—who would—? I’ve never—!” The Knight looked almost bored as he stared at her.

“Who else but—”

‘No they wouldn’t—’

“J—”

BANG BANG.

The Knight slumped down, dead—and her companions all shrieked in surprise. Raina flinched as she felt blood splatter across her cheeks before she craned her neck to see—

The Twins.

Just as she remembered them. Aquamarine halos and diamond shaped wings shimmered under the light of the daybreak sky. They were beautiful—so beautiful. Raina’s heart skipped a beat at how handsome they were—standing before her, protecting her, as they always did since they were children.

Except...

“Awww, we wanted to keep it a secret a little longer~ Ne, Jade?” Floyd had a tail. Diamond tipped—like his wings. It twisted and flicked around, as if expressing his excitement.

“Ee, Floyd. Oh well, we can’t deny that this slight hiccup in our plans isn’t fun at all.” Jade had horns. Tall and curved wickedly—beautiful and grotesque on an angel...

“Ehehe. You’re right~! Let’s… have some fun…!” Floyd’s horns were identical to Jade’s—if not somehow pointed outward.

“Fufufu….” While Jade’s tail was identical to his brother in appearance, he moved his lazily by swinging it from side to side.

‘The Law is absolute. From the moment a Sankta aimed their gun at another of their kind, their fates were decided.’

Raina could only stare in horror as she watched the twins decimate the entire squadron of Apostolic Gun-Knights—with eyes glowing gleefully and mouths spread into wide, sharp grins. The other Gun-Knights stood no chance—the twins were considered their best agents in decades. Once they had finished, they turned back around, their eyes immediately fixated onto her. Floyd moved toward her eagerly before Jade raised his hand and stopped his brother. Floyd frowned and opened his mouth to protest but he was interrupted by Raina.

“... Why…?” She felt her throat dry. She was caught between sheer happiness at being able to see them, sorrow upon knowing what must’ve happened and—anger. Anger because she did not want this future for them. “Why!? Why are you here—I made sure—!”

“As if they could hide something so important from us.” Jade cut in, calmly. His gold and olive eyes peered down at her, before it flickered off to the terrified group behind her. His smile turned cordial. “Well, it’s quite late in the day. We should set up camp. Don’t you agree d—Raina?”

She turned around at that, to see that her group was staring at the twins in pure fear… as they would any Sankta who had fallen from grace. “Yes… Do… do not worry.” She stood up shakily, “They’re my friends… They’ll keep us safe.”

She smiled—and she wondered again, how reassuring could it even look—when she herself was terrified.

‘What have you two done…?’

--

The whole group skittered around when the twins had rejoined them after disposing of… the bodies. She had only approached them once—to offer them dinner, before she slipped away from their grasp to look after her companions. She could feel the heavy weight of their gaze on her shoulders—down the black crystals that formed on her arms… But she ignored them for as long as she could as she dressed or reworked any of her companions’ injuries.

She did this—going around the hot fire at the center of their camp, until there was no one left to distract herself with and—

“You’ve kept us waiting long enough!” Floyd pouted as he yanked her down to sit in between him and Jade. The other twin stared at her, as collected as ever, as he poked a stick into the fire.

“I have to take care of everyone.” She bit out. “They’re my responsibility now.” Floyd only huffed in response before he nuzzled into the curve of her neck, lips dangerously close to—

“Don’t—!” She flinched back, briefly hitting Jade as her hand went up to cover the crystals that had formed across her skin.

“Haah? You’ve never resisted squeezes before!” His expression twisted. “Is it because of these?” He gestured to his newly acquired demon horns and tail.

“No--of course not—it’s… I’m… an Infected now… I just thought...” The twins snorted in unison.

“You must be a unique kind of stupid, doll. If you think your infection will make us stay away from you.” Jade said dryly, as his hand snaked around her waist and pulled her tight against his side. Before she could protest, Floyd moved, and pressed up against her—which squeezed her in between them both.

“You…” She felt her eyes water and she blinked rapidly—in an attempt to not let her tears fall. “Nothing’s changed…?” her voice cracked.

“Absolutely nothing.” They said vehemently, once more in unison.

“Your future…” She raised a shaky hand to trace her fingers up the length of their dark horns. Both twins bent down, their eyes fluttered shut at the sensation of her hand against their new appendages. “... You shouldn’t have fallen… not for me.”

“On the contrary.” Jade purred as he nuzzled against her shoulder, lips pressed against the crystals there. “How could we picture a future without you?”

“Besides, it was getting boring in Laterano!” Floyd smiled, goofily as he nuzzled his nose against the curve of her shoulder. “It’s more fun with you!” She gritted her teeth, her hands fell away from their horns—and cupped her own face. She started to cry. She had thought she had lost everything but…

'But she hadn’t lost anything. Not anything of value anyways.

“T—thank you… I’m sorry…!” She began to sob, “I’m sorry I kept it a secret…! I should’ve… told you guys… I…” her whole body began to shake, and the twins only drew closer.

They had been together every day and knew they would see each other every tomorrow. It had simply become impossible to imagine a future without each other.

“That’s right! Say your sorry! To think you were going to have fun without us!” Floyd pouted.

“Cry for now, dear doll. Let it all out.” Jade said smoothly. “And don’t forget, from here on out. We have already fallen… it doesn’t matter how much farther we fall.”

--

“let’s say goodbye after our last dance who knew we could fall from the heavens? so together, let’s give each other up— after we dance one more time”

--

*huling sayaw - 'last dance'

[professorsnape394]

The Potions Master’s Apprentice

Chapter Ten: Breaking Boundaries

A/N: This is the tenth part to my fanfiction ‘The Potions Master’s Apprentice (Severus Snape x OC)’. Chapters 1-16 can be found already uploaded on Wattpad under the same name. Feel free to leave requests in my inbox for anything Snape related you want me to write. Leave a comment below if you wish to be added to my tag list.

Pairing: Severus Snape x OC (Dumbledore’s Granddaughter)

Summary: A talented young witch is employed as an apprentice professor at Hogwarts, but who will she be working under? Severus Snape is not best pleased with his new responsibility of taking on an apprentice, however she is relentless to create a friendship between them. Will she be successful? Or might the friendship just go a little two far? With the eyes of her grandfather constantly watching over them, an attempt at a relationship might not be in the cards for Aria Dumbledore and Severus Snape.

Word Count: 3188

Warnings: mentions of male sex organ and sexual arousal. 

Credits to Gif Creator

After a long day of lessons all Aria Dumbledore wanted to do was rip off her uncomfortable heels and change into something she could relax in for the rest of the night. However working with Severus meant that her day did not end immediately after lessons like the other professors' did. With the amount of essays Snape gave out on the daily, it was a miracle he was able to mark them at all, with or without her. She understood now why he never slept, but what she couldn't wrap her head around was why he gave out so many essay in the first place.

At first Severus refused any help from Aria, insisting he didn't need an assistant, but gradually Aria managed to work her way into his routine and soon enough the pair were spending every night together in Snape's classroom, marking essays and making potions.

"Severus." Aria spoke up, as the teachers departed from the Great Hall after dinner, stopping Snape in his tracks. She let her hand rest lightly on his bicep for a second, allowing herself to fall in line as they returned to the dungeons together.

"Miss Dumbledore." He replied coldly, suppressing any thoughts that may have dared entered his mind when he felt her gentle touch on his arm.

"I was thinking... I know we usually spend the evening marking in the classroom, but its just so cold in there and dark too." Aria started. "And we have to squeeze around the desk, with all those papers- "

"What are you getting at Miss Dumbledore." He droned, looking over his shoulder at the woman.

"How about we switch it up for tonight, maybe do the marking in my quarters? Its warm, I have a fire, with couches we can sit at. And if that's not your thing then your welcome to sit at my desk, but I just can't spend another night breaking my back sitting hunched over one. My feet are killing me in these shoes and I'm sick of freezing to death." Aria continued to rant, waiting for Snape to stop her.

"You can stop trying to convince me. Though I may not appear it, I am not a completely unreasonable man, all you have to do is ask."

"Thank god." She groaned, as they turned the corner to the dungeons.

After collecting two large stacks of papers from the potions classroom, the professors made their way along the corridor to Aria's private quarters. Almost immediately after entering the room Aria kicked off her heels, and threw her cloak over the couch.

"Just make yourself at home, get comfortable. I need to go change."

Severus entered the room awkwardly, clutching onto his papers, not daring to touch anything except the air he occupied. For the first time in a long time he felt out of place at Hogwarts. Snape liked to be in control and the way he was able to do that was keeping to the places where he felt most comfortable and had power. As soon as he agreed to spend the evening in Aria's quarters he lost that power and the ability to feel like he had any superiority over the woman. Though he hated feeling out of place, he enjoyed the woman's company, despite the fact he pretended not to, and was willing to make a sacrifice or two in order to listen to her meaningless chatter.

The man slowly made his way around the room, gradually drifting towards her cluttered desk, dropping his papers amongst her own small stacks. Snape couldn't help but be drawn to an open letter Aria had left. His eyes scanned the letter, sickened by its mushy context, but he couldn't seem to pull his gaze away.

Severus was stunned to discover that Aria was in a relationship and yet had not mentioned it to anyone since her arrival. She seemed the type who would boast about the fact, telling everyone and anyone who would listen. It dawned on him that maybe she had mentioned it before, just not to him. After all, why would she? He didn't show any interest in her life, or share any information about himself with her. He had made it pretty clear that they weren't anything more than coworkers, so then why was he hurt by the fact she had not confided in him?

The thought quickly left his mind when the witch reentered the room, leaving him slightly dumbfounded. It was the first time he had witnessed her looking relaxed and casual opposed to the straight laced, well put together façade she put on around the students. Even before the start of term and on their trip to Hogsmeade she maintained an air of sophistication. Looking at her now she appeared as you would expect a 21 year old to appear. Her hair fell around her face in stunning natural beach waves, still a little messy from being held up in a bun all day. She had changed out of her painful heels and uncomfortable work clothes and now appeared in a pair of tight fitting exercise shorts paired with a large oversized t-shirt, that exposed her tanned shoulder and collarbone. Severus couldn't help but notice her lack of bra, but made a conscious effort to keep his gaze fixated on her face.

"What are you doing?" Aria laughed nervously, noticing her mentor standing awkwardly by her desk, staring at her a little too long.

"I was merely looking for a place to conduct my marking, but as the only work space in the room is full of meaningless clutter, then it seems I have no other choice than to move." He growled, over compensating for his earlier thoughts.

Aria went to object but decided it wasn't worth the hassle and simply grabbed her pile and took a seat next to Severus on the couch and got to working.

Seeing Aria in her natural form had Severus mesmerised. He had of course appreciated her attractiveness many times before, but now her beauty seemed more down to earth and natural. He couldn't take his eyes off her. Ever since she had come to his office and bandaged him up, his mind was swarming with thoughts of her once more. The way her fingers gently traced the patterns on his palm as she carefully tended to his wound. Every time he replayed the action in his head a wave of shivers ran up his spine, sending flutters straight to his stomach.

After marking a less than adequate amount of essays, Severus finally gave up trying. Out the corner of his eye he couldn't help but watch as Aria absentmindedly brushed one of her smooth bare legs against the other. His eyes continued to travel up her body, resting for second on a small section of her waist that had been left exposed from the way her top had shifted. Once again he couldn't help but notice the prominent outline of her bare breasts through the slightly transparent shirt. Snape felt his face flush with colour, and chose to swiftly move on. He became entranced as his gaze fell upon her face, watching her read intently, as she nibbled on the end of her quill, letting it bounce slightly between her teeth. Severus could not help his mind rush to a number of scenarios which he quickly dismissed.

Oblivious to the thoughts running through her colleagues mind, Aria continued marking the majority of her essays, before finally giving up.

"How about we take a little break." Aria suggested, throwing another essay on her 'done' pile.

"Very well." Severus agreed, not that he had been doing much anyway.

Aria took the opportunity to stretch her bones, turning her body to face Snape.

"you know, we spend a hell of a lot of time together, but all we ever do is work." Aria commented, standing up from where she had been sat on the couch.

"What are you getting at, Miss Dumbledore." Snape replied, turning his attention to a neglected book he found resting on her coffee table.

"I'm just saying that we're allowed to spend time together, without making it about work. Minerva and I often enjoy afternoon tea together, and I frequently visit Hagrid at his cabin for a chat, I don't see why we have to pretend to be marking essays just to be in each others company."

"I'm not pretending to do anything, Miss Dumbledore. The essays need to be marked, and whether you chose to help me or not, I will be spending my evenings doing the exact same thing either way."

Severus picked up a rogue book from her coffee table, dog-earing the page Aria had left the book lying open on and began to read from the beginning, curious to see what kind of literature she was interested in.

Meanwhile Aria had made her way through to her open plan kitchen and was currently rummaging through a number of cupboards but continued her conversation.

"We're the teachers Severus, the students will get the essays back when we say so, we do not have to rush to complete them as soon as they're handed back to us. Besides it would give the students a little more time in between essays to relax before they were immediately issued another." The clinking of glasses caught Severus' attention, so he too got up, meeting the woman in her kitchen.

"Have a drink." She offered, handing him a glass of deep red liquid, hoping to loosen up his inhibitions.

"I thought you didn't drink." Snape muttered, taking the drink from her.

"Like I said before, I don't drink often, or rather to excess. But if this is what it takes to get you to relax with me, then I'm willing to comprise." She winked, holding up her own glass to cheers the other professor.

"Despite the impression you may have gotten, Miss Dumbledore, I do not rely on alcohol to get through the day."

"I know that." Aria spoke, her tone becoming sadder. "I know that you were drinking a lot before the start of term because of me. I'm sorry I done that to you, I honestly did not think that the two of us having dinner together would be such a scandal. I was wrong, I know that now. But can't we just remain colleagues who enjoy each others company every once in a while." She hoped.

Severus took a deep intake of breath before taking a large gulp of wine.

"You were not the reason I turned to alcohol to drown my sorrows, Miss Dumbledore. Yes, I enjoy a glass of FireWhiskey or Nettle Wine once in a while, and occasionally I feel the need to indulge more than what is deemed appropriate. Usually it occurs in the summer and I have no one around me who cares. It only ever lasts a few days or so, a week at most, and after that I get back on track and its no longer a problem. It is true that your presence may have dug up some unfortunate memories of mine, but it was not your fault." Severus enunciated the last few words of his sentence, reassuring the woman not to blame herself for his small moment of weakness. The way her eyes sparkled in the light as they met his sent a wave of regret over him, wishing he had just accepted the wine and said nothing. An appreciated smile spread across his apprentice's face, thankful she had been reassured.

Professor Snape gulped down some more his of wine nervously, making his way back to the couch, Aria followed closely behind.

"So." He started, once again picking up the abandoned book, eager to change to subject. "I noticed your reading Pride and Prejudice, how are you finding it?"

"Oh." She smiled, biting her lip, slightly embarrassed. "It's one I'm currently reading." She said vaguely, bouncing down on the couch, sitting crossed legged.

"So your into muggle literature? I have read a few myself though I tend to stay away from the Brontes."

"It's Austen actually." She corrected, nodding towards the spine of the book, cradling her still relatively full glass of wine. "I have to admit, I'm a bit useless when it comes to reading. I love it so much, but I'm just too impatient, that's my problem." She laughed, getting frustrated with herself and running a hand through her tangled mass of hair.

Severus watched as she jumped from her seat, quickly collecting a few of the other novels she had left scattered around the place, all of which had been left balancing open mid-page. The woman returned with five or six books in her arms, all of which had been read half way through or almost to the very end, although none had been completely read through.

"I'm a bit of scatter brain, if I'm being completely honest. I've started all of these and every time I find a new book I completely disregard the one I was reading, too eager to start another, before finishing the first. Most of the time I forget where I've left them, so I couldn't finish them even if I wanted to. I swear Severus, If it wasn't for you keeping me on track with the students schedules, I'd go utterly mad and forget what I was supposed to be teaching." Aria let out a huge breath, dropping all of the books down in between her and Snape, before plopping herself down once more.

Snape suppressed the urge to laugh at the woman's dopiness, she was truly a character, but he secretly adored the absurdness she possessed. She kept it hidden so well in front of her grandfather and the students but often when they were alone she allowed her true personality to shine and that is when Severus felt his weakest with her. He could not possibly find a reason to be angry at her when she was feeling vulnerable enough to get comfortable around him.

The Potions Master took it upon himself to inspect each of the novels, before setting them aside, neatly piled high. He did, however, keep a hold of the original book, continuing from where he had left off.

Noticing the man getting engrossed in the book, Aria chose not to bother him with any more of her idle chatter and instead grabbed a notebook and quill from her bedroom and begun sketching. She was content with just being in each other's company and not working that she didn't mind that they were not talking. In fact, one of the things she loved most about their relationship was that they were able to sit in a comfortable silence without either of them feeling awkward.

After a few attempts of sketching objects around the room, she gave in trying and decided to focus on what she drew best. Not wanting to interrupt his train of thought by asking a meaningless question, such as if he would give her permission to draw him, Aria didn't see the big deal and went ahead with her sketch.

An hour or so passed and the couple were deep in their activities and not a word had been spoken since the last. By now Severus had removed his robes, the heat from the fire proving too much, though he still kept himself fully covered by the means of his overcoat. Aria, far too comfortable in her chambers, had now stretched out across the whole couch, her feet resting gently on the side of Severus' thigh, but he was yet to complain.

It wasn't until almost two hours into their activities that Severus thought too look at the clock. Time had gotten on, and usually the pair would have gone their separate ways by now, spending the rest of their nights alone. Strangely Professor Snape did not feel the urge to depart just yet and chose to stay a while longer. Aria had become absorbed in the sketch she was doing, and was not complaining he was still there. This was good enough for Severus. Looking up from her notepad every few seconds, but still utterly engaged in her drawing,  Aria had no idea what was currently going on in Snape's mind.

Once he had broke away from the book back to reality, Snape struggled to get himself to focus again. Instead his mind was preoccupied by how close he had let Aria get to him. He felt her wriggle her toes absentmindedly. It was almost as if she was beating out a tune against his leg, and he was very aware of every movement she made. Her feet had managed to make their way into his lap, and every small movement that brushed against his thigh, had Severus' heart beating faster.

The woman fidgeted relentlessly, her legs shifting in lap and her toes scrunching up against his inner thigh. Snape could not help the reaction his body was having as his assistant brushed against him, but the thoughts that entered his mind, only stimulated the problem he was having. Surely she must know what she was doing to him. The Professor kept his eyes on the page, though he took in none of the words. His face flushed pink, whether from the heat of the fire or his own imagination, he did not know. Snape allowed himself one look at the woman curious to see if her actions were deliberate. As he expected she was completely oblivious to the whole situation, simply sketching away, not a care in the world.

Looking at the woman only worsened the situation. He had tried to keep his thoughts at bay, in order to prevent his throbbing penis from doing what penis' do best. But seeing the young woman lay there in front of him, her body so close to his, rubbing against him. Severus could take it no longer. He felt himself growing, and he refused to endure the humiliation had she to notice, let alone the frustration that he would be able to do nothing about it.

Without warning Snape jumped from his position on the couch, grabbing his robes, and leaving the book where he sat. "It's late. I have to go." Was all he said bluntly, slamming the door as he practically flew from the room.

Aria Dumbledore had no words to say. She was less shocked by his sudden departure than the fact he had actually stayed with her all evening, spending some time together, in their own unique way. Abandoning her pad and quill, Aria slipped into bed, falling asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Severus on the other hand did not drift off so easily. He spent half the night damning himself for being so vulnerable and getting himself into that situation, and the other half dreaming of the possibilities that could have happened had he stayed. Though he knew nothing would have happened, even if he wanted it to. She was in a relationship and Snape was not one for physical affection. However, he allowed himself the small luxury of dreaming about her for one night.

Taglist: @ayamenimthiriel

@lizlil

[girlgirlgirlnormal]

I want her to be mine Part 2

Kuina x OC (female OC)

word count: 3.6k

part 1

TW: Death; Niragi (Yes, I’m including Niragi as a trigger now, even though he is very ooc here and OC’s best friend); harrasment, sexual harrasment mention, bullying, gun play

The next morning Ino woke up before sunrise, Niragi was still sleeping as she got out of the bed. She slipped out of her nightgown and put on a nice red bikini and her shorts. She wouldn’t wear a shirt today. She wanted to show some skin for Kuina. She strapped on her thighholster with the knive and her hipholster with her handguns and quickly brushed through her hair.

She took the elevator to Kuinas floor and silently entered her room. The girl was still sleeping. She looked so pretty and peaceful. For a moment she considered letting her sleep, then she shrugged her shoulders and ripped open the curtains. Kuina groaned, pulling the covers over her head, making Ino chuckle. Kuina tensed up. Slowly uncovering her head and turning to Ino.

“What the fuck”, she whispered, sitting up.

“I told you I will find you”, Ino said laughing, “The early bird catches the worm, and you my pretty little princess”, she walked up to the bed cupping Kuinas cheek, “are the worm.”

Kuina looked up to her with shock widened eyes.

“Come on, princess. Get dressed”, Ino said, “I have plans for us.”

She waited infront of the door as Kuina was getting dressed. It didn’t take long for Kuina to step out of the room, dressed in her blue bikini.

“Great”, Ino said, taking Kuinas hand, and leading her to the elevator, “So, this is going to be really awkward if you don’t like girls”, she said, as they got off the elevator and walked the steps up to the roof, “But I prepared us breakfast.”

The last part sounded more like a question. She had sat up a little breakfast picknick on the middle of the rooftop. It looked cosy. She had given it her best. A white blanket was laid out and she had been to the kitchen and gotten fresh fruit, cheese, and bread. A bottle of some expensive champaign was sitting in the middle and she had even found two flutes.

Kuina observed the scene infront of her, then she turned to Ino.

“Why?”, she asked.

Ino shrugged, “You’re pretty. You seem intelligent. I like looking at you.”

Kuinas mouth was slightly open.

“What?”, she asked, with a confused look on her face.

“Oh”, Ino said, “You don’t like girls?”

“I do”, Kuina answered, still looking confused, “But why did you do this?”, she pointed to the blanket.

“I just said I like looking at you”, Ino answered, walking over to the blanket and sitting down.

“So, this is a date?”, Kuina asked surprised, taking a step towards the blanket, “I thought you’re with Niragi? Or that he at least kills everyone you dance with for some other reason.”

“He is my best friend”, Ino clarified, “and he has graciously agreed to let you live if you ever”, she paused a moment, “danced with me.”

“Glad to know that my live is not on the line”, Kuina laughed, sitting down on the blanket, “You’re not so bad to look at yourself.”

Ino smiled, filling the flutes with champagne and dropping a single strawberry in each before handing one to Kuina. She took the flute, her gaze fixated on Inos guns. Realizing that the guns were making Kuina uncomfortable she slowly unbuckled her holster and put it down infront of Kuina.

“You don’t have to be here if you’re uncomfortable”, she explained slowly, “If you stay, you can keep the guns as long as you’re here. I just want to talk to you.”

“About what?”, Kuina asked, slowly taking a sip of her champagne.

“I don’t know. I’m just assuming that I will like listening to you talking just as much as I like looking at you.”

Kuina smiled, “Is this me paying you back for yesterday?”, she asked.

“Yes, but you don’t need to stay”, Ino said, not wanting to gaslight her into having breakfast with her, “If you want to leave; I will count the debt as paid.”

Kuina took a slice of bread and a piece of cheese, “This looks good.”, she said, taking a bite of the cheese.

“I’m sorry that it isn’t a more traditional breakfast”, Ino apologized, “I don’t like eating hot stuff on warm days and it wouldn’t have paired well with the champagne. I really did my best to find this champagne – it was my parents favorite.”

“Its good”, Kuina said, taking another sip and examining the bottle, “looks expensive.”

“Thank god for the apocalypse. I didn’t have to pay for it”, Ino laughed, picking up a raspberry and popping it in her mouth.

“Do you miss your parents?”, Kuina asked, watching the bubbles in her champagne float up.

“Of course. We were”, she stopped, correcting herself, “are very close. This little bird never really left the nest”, she laughed, “I lived just around the corner from them after moving out and even worked at my father’s firm. We were basically together all day. It’s weird not to have them around all the time. That’s why Niragi is always with me. He is the only one who I know I can trust.”

Kuina was swirling her drink around in the flute, still watching the bubbles, “This has great bubbles”, she mumbled.

“Do you miss your parents?”

Kuina halted, “I miss my mother”, she answered, “She is in the hospital and needs my help to even relieve herself. That’s why I need to get back to the real world as soon as possible.”

Looking at her number, she sighed, “11 is not that far away, I guess”, she said, looking down at her own number, she was the number five. Five was better than eleven.

“What about your father?”, she asked, after a moment of silence.

“We don’t really talk”, Kuina answered, focusing back on her bread, “That’s nice bread.”

“I made it”, Ino said smiling, “I got up very early and I thought a breakfast at 4 in the morning would be overkill.”

“Wow, you really are an early bird”, Kuina laughed, “Do you always wake up so early?”

“No, I guess I was just a bit nervous.”

They went silent for a moment.

“How did you get the scar?”, Kuina asked one hand slowly extending her hand to her cheek before stopping, leaving her hand hanging in the air.

It was Inos turn to tense up. Her hand instinctively went to her collarbone where the scar was the reddest and thickest. It was a mess. She hated it. She hated it. She hated it. Grabbing her holsterbelt she stood up.

“Was nice talking to you”, she said, walking to the staircase.

“What?”, Kuina groaned, “No.”

Ino stopped, “No?”

“We’ll talk about something else”, Kuina said, “just don’t run away.”

“I was not running away”, Ino said one hand on the handle to the door.

“I think you are”, Kuina said, standing up and walking over to the other woman, “You don’t have to talk about it. Let’s talk about something else. How did you make this bread?”

“I made it according to my favorite recipe. It’s a wonder that I still remember it”, Ino laughed, “It’s a pretty easy recipe.”

Kuina was just about to open her mouth to praise the bread, as the door opened and Niragi stepped out on the roof.

He was casually lighting a cigarette, his gaze lazily taking in the two girls sitting on the blanket.

“You really are trying, huh?”, he asked, plopping down next to Ino and taking her champagne and gulping it all down.

“Hey”, Ino said, playfully hitting his arm, “That was mine.”

He didn’t react to that, he was watching Kuina. Inos guns were laid out infront of Kuina and the girl looked distraught.

“I wouldn’t have thought that that is your type”, he said, still watching Kuina, “I thought the kind of girl you like was more like Chrissy. She and Chrissy have nothing in common.”

“They’re both pretty and I think Kuina would not have a problem with hitting you if you’re being mean, just like Chrissy did”, Ino said, smiling at the thought of her ex-girlfriend.

“Who is Chrissy?”, Kuina asked.

“A total bimbo”, Niragi answered, “and her ex.”

“She is a bimbo who used her social media following to talk about misogyny, anti-capitalism and loving yourself”, Ino explained, “We broke up a year ago, I don’t know why Niragi is bringing her up now.”

“She is the last girl you dated”, Niragi shrugged, “and it has been all dicks before and after. I don’t have any other girls to compare her to. I really liked Chrissy.”

“Then don’t”, Ino said, shrugging, “Also, Chrissy would’ve punched you for comparing people the way you do.”

Rolling his eyes Niragi took a piece of bread and some butter. Ino grabbed his rifle, putting it on top of her own guns. Niragi groaned but didn’t say anything.

“Sooo”, Ino said, “Kuina, do you want to explore New Tokyo later?”

“I already have plans with Chishiya, maybe sometime else?”, Kuina hadn’t had a bite since Niragi arrived, she was just sitting there, watching them tensely.

Niragi scoffed, but Ino started talking before he had the chance to say something, “Sure, let me know whenever.”

“We don’t have time for that anyway”, Niragi said, pulling a piece of paper out of his pants pocket, “Aguni is sending us out to the city.”

Ino grabbed the paper and unfolded it. It was a list of things they needed. Mostly medicine and food.

“We should go to the company, we have most of the medical stuff there and I don’t believe anyone could’ve scavenged that”, Ino said, “Kuina, it was really nice to talk to you. Feel free to approach me anytime you want.”

With that she stood up, grabbed her holster and disappeared through the door. Sneaking another piece of bread Niragi followed her.

“Did you have to barge in like that?”, she asked Niragi, as he finally appeared next to her in the elevator, “I was trying to get to know her.”

“She is no Chrissy”, Niragi commented.

“Nobody is Chrissy. That doesn’t mean that Kuina is not just as nice and worth of loving.”

“You don’t know her.”

“That’s why I was trying to get to know her!”

They had arrived at her father’s old company. A tall glass building with the words Yamanaka Gaming written in bold letters over the door. Normally the words would glow, right now, without electricity it looked sad. Ino could feel a knot forming in her throat. She tried to ignore it, wrapping her arm in her jacket and punching the glass door a couple of times before it shattered into a million crystals.

“Come on”, she said, ducking into the building, “You take the infirmary on the 15th floor, I’ll go to the executive floor.”

“What do you think you’ll be able to cross off the list on the executive floor?”, Niragi asked with a grimace.

“If the beaches generators still work, that could mean that ours do too”, she announced.

“And what good will that do? Do you wan to continue making that game?”

She rolled her eyes. She had stayed awake day and night working on the game. She never got to finish it. She would never get to finish it.

“There’s some stuff I want to get”, she answered, “I`ll help you check the cafeteria after that.”

Niragi nodded. They had had personal belongings there. He and Ino and everyone in her family. He didn’t blame her that she wanted to retrieve some. He watched as she went behind the reception desk and started to fumble with something under the desk. The lights flickered on.

“See, the generator works”, she smiled, “we can even use the elevator.”

They didn’t spend much time in the company, having found the medicine, many packets of instant noodles and ramen, and some personal belongings, they left the building and drove with a fully packed car back to the beach. Ino smiled as she handed Niragi her fathers watch. It had belonged her grandfather before and she knew her parents would’ve laughed to give it to their son in law on their daughter’s wedding day. They had hoped for the longest time that Niragi would be that son in law. They had felt betrayed then they found out that Niragi would stay her best friend but neither of them was planning to marry the other.

“Really?”, he asked, taking the watch.

“It’s what they wanted”, Ino shrugged.

“Shouldn’t you give this to the love of your life?”

“You know how I feel, Niragi”, she said, watching the streets of Tokyo pass by, “I love you. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. I just don’t love you the way my parents would’ve liked me to.”

She really did love him. He was her best friend. They had been together for a decade now. If she had believed in soulmates she would be sure that he was hers. The love she was feeling was not romantic. It was just love.

“I love you too”, he said, his voice solemn, “That’s why I don’t like the idea of you being with Kuina.”

Ino groaned, “If you continue bringing up the subject, I will get really mad. We were having a good time until you arrived.”

“But don’t you need someone you can have a good time with then I am with you?”, Niragi asked, “I had to break up with that girl because you didn’t like her.”

“She was a dick”, Ino groaned.

As they finally arrived back at the beach Ino simply exited the car, without taking anything but her personal belongings. The others would help Niragi get everything else inside.

She walked straight to her room and started unpacking. She had taken some clothes, some jewelry and a picture of her family. Smiling she placed the picture frame on her nightstand and grabbed the short pink dress she had taken. Chrissy had called that her bimbo dress. Its deep carmen cut didn’t leave much to the imagination and it barely reached the middle of her thighs. She took out the makeup supplies she had taken with her. Drawing on some dramatic winged eyeliner and coloring her lips red like blood, she put her black hair in a dark ponytail, admiring herself in the mirror. She looked great. She hoped Kuina would think the same. Putting on her sneakers, she made her way to the pool. All eyes were on her. The diamonds on her neck were sparkling in the light.

It didn’t take long for her to spot Kuina. She was sitting alone, her plastic cigarette between her lips like always. Ino didn’t want to approach her. She was afraid of coming on too strong. She had told Kuina to come to her. She would wait. She didn’t want the woman to feel trapped. She walked to the bar and ordered a Zombie, her favorite cocktail.

“What’s the occasion”, she heard a voice beside her.

She turned, seeing Last Boss waiting for his drink. The tattooed man was not smiling, but she had only seen him smile then he was getting excited about killing something or someone. It was a good thing that he was not smiling.

“I’m going to get laid”, she answered, making Last Boss quirk his brow.

“By whom?”

“Don’t know. We’ll see.”

Last Boss smirked, but he didn’t say anything else, took his drink and disappeared. Ino shrugged. Seems like it wouldn’t be him who fucked her tonight. She hated being so needy, but she really needed someone to spoil her. She was already on her third drink, as her eyes landed on Kuina again. No. She would not approach her. Kuinas gaze met hers. She watched her stand up and walk in her direction. She could feel her gut clench in anticipation. She wanted to get to know her. She wanted her to not be a mere one night stand. Yet she was so needy. God. All this neediness could only mean that she would get her period soon. She had looked for her birth control pills but couldn’t find them. Her hormones would kill her.

“Hey”, Kuina greeted her, as she sat down next to Ino.

“Hey”, Ino answered, taking a long sip from her cocktail. She loved the sweet and bitter taste. Her lips were already numb. She loved it.

“Why are you dressed like this?”, Kuina asked, her eyes scanning her body.

“You don’t like it?”, Ino answered with a question.

“No, it looks great”, Kuina answered, “Its just not something that I’ve seen you wear around here before.”

Ino laughed, “I used to wear stuff like that all the time. I loved partying so much that I had this dress in my office, for the times that I spontaneously decided to go out after a long day of work. I miss that so much.”

“You can party here all day”, Kuina informed her, taking in the womans beautiful features.

“Its not the same”, Ino said, “It was so much more fun back then. If you kissed a stranger in the club you could be sure that you would never see them again. If I kiss someone out here, Niragi makes sure no one ever sees them again.”

“But I am safe?”, Kuina asked.

Ino smiled, cupping Kuinas cheek, “You are safe and free to do whatever you please.”

“Whatever I please?”, Kuina echoed.

Ino nodded, her gaze fixated on Kuinas plumb lips. She wanted to kiss her. She wanted to please her and for her to please her back. Where did this obsession with Kuina even come from?

“Do you want me?”, Ino whispered, leaning in. She could smell the girl’s natural scent. She smelled sweet and spicy. She didn’t know what she was doing as her tongue dipped out of her mouth, slowly licking Kuinas jaw. She wanted her so much. Her smell was even more intoxicating then the alcohol.

“Will you be done with me if I give you what you want tonight?”, Kuinas voice was shaky.

Ino shook her head, “But I will leave you alone if you want. You don’t have to do anything. Just tell me if I’m bothering you.”

She wasn’t looking in Kuinas face, her head was still in the slightly tilted position she had taken to lick her jaw. Her smell was intoxicating. She bit her tongue to stop herself from licking her again.

“You’re not”, Kuina answered, “I just don’t understand why you are showing so much interest in me.”

“Because you are the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

“Prettier than Chrissy?”, Kuina asked.

Ino chuckled, lightly kissing her throat, “You sound like Niragi”, she laughed, “I loved Chrissy, but we broke over a year ago. She was pretty. I don’t know how I would’ve have answered if I still were in love with her. But today”, she drawled off, this time kissing her jaw, “you are the prettiest girl I have ever seen.”

Ino looked up, Kuina had closed her eyes. It looked like she was enjoying the small kisses. Ino kissed up her jaw up to her ear, slowly taking her earlobe between her teeth.

“Tell me if you need me to stop”, she whispered.

Kuina shuddered, “You are drunk.”

“Mhm”, Ino said, sucking Kuinas earlobe.

“I want you to stop.”

Ino straightened up, trapping her own hands between her legs so she couldn’t reach out for the pretty woman. Kuina finally opened her eyes, looking at her.

“I don’t want to be your drunk fuck”, she said, with a stern look in her eyes, “If you really think that I am that pretty, you can wait, no?”

Ino nodded, “Until you’re ready.”

Kuina put a hand on Inos knee, “Good”, she said, “I need time. There are things that you don’t know about me and I don’t do one-night stands.”

Ino nodded again. She didn’t know if it were the hormones or the alcohol, but she was feeling so overwhelmed by this woman’s beauty. She wanted to touch her. To be touched by her.

“I will do everything for you”, she blurted out, “You just need to tell me what you want.”

Cupping Inos cheek, Kuina said, “You’re drunk. You should go to your room and sleep it off.”

Ino nodded, “Will you come with me?”

Kuina shook her head, “I’ve got stuff to do. I think it would be better if you were alone.”

Ino pouted. She had just told her she would do anything for her. Anything did include going to her room alone. She balled her hands into a fist for a moment. She just wished she wasn’t so horny.

Ino stood up and turned away without looking back or saying another word, she walked up to her room. She didn’t fully close her door, but she made sure that Niragi was already sleeping in his room. Undressing she laid down on her bed, gun in one hand, the other hand playing with her breasts. A soft moan escaped her lips. She brought the gun up to her face and slowly licked the tip. She could feel herself soaking. The hand that was previously on her breast slowly dipped between her legs, as she saw a silhouette in her doorway. She moaned again. Eyes glued on the door. She felt guilty for a moment, but Kuina had only told her to go to her room alone. Not to stay there alone. She switched her hands positions, tasting herself from her fingers and shoving the gun between her legs.

“As you said you were going to get laid, I thought were would be at least one other person involved”, she heard Last Boss voice.

Giggling she brought up the gun to her face again, licking it clean, “Join me”, she said seductively, “Please?”

She didn’t have to ask twice.

[manananggal]

I Wish I Had A Better Excuse, Like...

a/n: i read high tide at midnight again and i’m just - woof woof bark bark. beata is my trese oc. she’s an aswang raised by a hilot. stuff happened, and she becomes part of the diabolical crew. this is written mostly in english, but has a few tagalog phrases especially near the end. obviously i have no idea how to write fight scenes.

 ///

Beata is a bit nervous about today's spar.

Alexandra – well, considering that she practically took her in after the Incident™, that makes Alex her Bossing too, doesn't it? – informed her a few days ago that her Kuya would be joining them for training. Bossing didn't exactly say who, but it's not as if there's anyone else who'd join them.

She was still sort of hoping that it would be Sir Rick who'd be there - not that he ever joined them, but a girl can hope, can’t she? But when Beata saw the strong, looming figure in a salakót by the entrance of the gym, she couldn't help but be glad she brought the new sports bra she got from Valentina's Secret. It’s comfy, and she was only able to afford one because of a sale. It's powder-blue in color, with a sweetheart neckline that pushes her girls in the spotlight without the risk of them spilling out. 

She checks herself out in the ladies' room mirror and bites her lip. 

While her outfit looks great on her, like - instant boob job, because they look like  decent B-cup right now, and if she-saw-her-picture-in-a-dating-app-she'd-immediately-Swipe Right™, a knot of worry formed in the pit of her stomach.

There’s a voice at the back of her head that sounded like a mix of her mother and Sister Johanna from high school asking her just what the hell she thinks she’s doing. 

It’s effective enough to make her trudge back to her locker and dig through the bottom of her bag for a white, threadbare shirt which she tugs over her head right away.

"How the hell does Wari do that?" She grumbles, standing in front of the mirror again. Her reflection did nothing but throw her disgruntled expression right back. 

She could always ask Wari for tips, of course. But the Encanto would want to know why, and Beata doubts it will take her that long to figure out what's up, and it's not like she needed any more people on her case. With a sigh, Beata heads out, letting the wooden door swing behind her.

--

Carlos Trese, sans his usual salakot and armor, meets her near the center of the sparring mat. He's traded the usual maong for dark sweatpants, but the white camisa chino remained. His head is newly shaved, save for the close-cropped patch that emphasized the sharp widow's peak that everyone in the Trese clan seems to have.

The two of them gave each other the customary bow, an acknowledgment and a promise that neither is out to genuinely hurt the other. No claws and no weapons, but it doesn't mean that Carlos would be less than terrifying.

Beata exhales slowly as she slides into the first stance; her right leg in front of the other and bent slightly at the knees while her right arm extends forward as the left is positioned close to her chest, bent at the elbow, both palms facing the opponent.

Basilio yelling, "Kick his ass, Bibi!" from the sidelines didn't help settle her nerves. She stomped down the urge to stick her tongue out at him and kept her focus at her sparring partner.

She never expected Carlos to go easy on her, but what she didn't expect was him charging towards her right off the bat, and Beata yelps in surprise, barely able to block the oncoming punch. She takes a backward step as her left forearm deflects the hit. She could already feel the bruise forming, but Carlos left his chest unguarded – it could be a trap, or he could easily block any incoming hit, but Beata knows she's just fast enough to land one, and so she took the risk.

Beata was able to push Carlos backward as her right palm rushed forward, striking him flat on the chest.

"Nice, Beata." He says with a curt nod. "That was good."

Her eyes flickered to his face, and she was granted one of his rare smiles. It gave him a rather boyish look, less menacing and closer to the impish grins the Kambal would have on their faces.

And her heart decides it's a good time to speed up, to rattle inside her ribcage, and she knows,  she knows it's not because of the spar. Because if it was, then Beata wouldn't have the fluttering, jittery feeling in her gut now, would she?

It was mortifying, this silly, little torch she holds for the eldest Trese sibling. It started on the day he saved her from a gang of aswang. They needed her blood for some ritual. She was too out of it to remember, and not even Alex's spell helped her recall anything except for the flash of the Verdugo's blades and the pained shrieks of her captors.

In her foggy, half-delirious state, the warmth of his skin that seeped through his clothes was her beacon, and she remembered the way his voice reverberated through his body as he told her to hold on. She found out later that he carried her on his back, away from the rundown townhouse in Wack-Wack that served as her prison for a few days.

She'd been waitressing at the Diabolical for a month when he returned, and Alex – well, Bossing – introduced the two of them formally. Carlos Trese asked how she was doing as he shook her hand.

The contact lasted no more than ten seconds, but the feeling of how much bigger and warmer and more calloused his hand was compared to hers stayed long after he left.

Beata made the mistake of asking the worst person about Carlos. She was a few bottles in, with her head buzzing slightly, and the conversation flowed freely between her and the kambal.

It had been a casual question: 'Do you guys know if Carlos is seeing anyone?'

But those nine words were the beginning of the end, and she watched, like it was in slow motion, as the smile in Basilio's face stretched into a grin.

He, of course, told Hannah, who told Amie, who told someone else, and the news made its way to Hank. Beata's not sure who told Alexandra, but bossing knows everything that happens in her club.

"Ayos ka lang?" Carlos asks, a crease forming in the middle of his forehead.

She could only nod as it felt like something lodged itself down her throat.

--

The two of them have been at it for fifteen minutes, maybe more. It was a dance, a flurry of kicks and punches and dodges - 

She thought she'd been doing a pretty decent job holding her own against the force of nature that is Carlos Trese – she blocks, and she counters when needed, slips in a hit or two of her own whenever she sees a sliver of a chance. She is just bold enough to drive a spear-hand strike at his torso, one he was able to swiftly block and sends a countering side-elbow strike against her face. It made her leap backward, earning her a nod from him.

But he's not the Verdugo for nothing.

Beata was able to dodge the knee-strike he aimed at her middle section, but in doing so, missed the knife-hand strike headed at the side of her jaw.

Against her better judgment, the young woman froze, wrenching her eyes shut as she anticipated the oncoming strike.

But it's been a few seconds, and the pain hasn't registered. There was, however, a feeling of warmth on the side of her face. Ever so slowly, Beata opened one eye, daring to look up at her sparring partner, only to see him staring down at her with an expression she couldn't quite place and his fingers hovering just beside her temple.

"That would have been a lethal hit," He comments as he withdraws his hand. "Don't let your guard down easily, Beata."

Beata, the paragon of articulate speech that she is, could only manage a strangled sound that she hoped sounded affirmative. She knows her face is as red as a tomato, but it's not just because of the spar. Carlos wasn't wrong though, had it been a real fight, she wouldn't have to worry about her skincare routine anymore.

She slipped back into an offensive stance before launching herself at him.

--

Someone called for a break, and Beata, despite her endurance, was grateful as she all but dragged herself to the other side of the gym. She slumped on the bench, trying to catch her breath. Already, there is a dull throb that formed at the base of her neck. She presses her fingers against the sore spot, hoping that she still has Salonpas left in her drawer.

As she cooled down, she let her eyes wander to the only other people inside the gym.

She watched Alexandra walk a bit ways off, talking to someone on her phone.

She watched the Kambal, both dashing even in cotton shirts and jogging pants, goof off with each other. Basilio trying to do a fucking Jyuken stance is funny enough to pull a giggle from her. Even funnier was Crispin barking out corrections on how to do the pose right .

A few feet away from them, Carlos Trese's shoulders shook as he laughed. Who knows when was the last time he was able to just sit without having to worry about the next monster coming at him?

She thought she'd already calmed down until Carlos stood up and lifts up the bottom of his sleeveless shirt to wipe the sweat off his face.

Beata froze; the rim of her tumbler is just barely grazing her lips. She blinks a few times as what seemed to be a high-pitched, ear-splitting wail of a siren echoed inside her head.

She averts her eyes because she has dignity, dammit. She's not gonna gawk at him like a voyeur; she's definitely not gonna burn this image in her mind's eye and save this once she’s alone.

And he removes his shirt. Completely. Because she's not stressed enough as it is.

She's definitely  not  looking at him, or his chest, or his equally broad shoulders, or –  Oh. Of course, he's got a six-pack, damn it all  – or his biceps, or how his faded scars contrasted against the brown of his skin. His sweatpants hung low on his waist, and her eyes seemed to fixate at the gutters of his hips.

It's definitely not the reason why her heart starts pounding heavily or why her throat seems to suddenly run out of moisture when her tumbler is already half-empty.

"Alam mo, this is creepy, even for you." A voice pipes up beside her, making the young mananaggal jump from her seat. Had she lathered herself with lana, her wings would have sprouted, leaving her upper body in the air and her lower half losing balance, comedically toppling on the floor, spilling her guts in a literal sense.

Beata's head whips to the side. The grin on Basilio's face, eerily enough, matched the one on his bone-while mask. She'd been too caught up… well, looking, she hadn't noticed her friend pop up beside her. How long had he been there?

"How is me drinking water creepy?" Beata counters in a well-rehearsed deadpan. She doesn't need to be reminded how weird it is. She's fully aware, thank you very much.

Basilio chuckles, slinging an arm around her shoulders. Beata tries to scooch away in her seat, but his reach is way too long to be avoided. "You could just go for it and ask Kuya to stay for dinner, Bibi." He had the guts to actually wag his eyebrows at her.

"Ugh, Crispin?" She made a show of scoffing. "If what that girl from the wind tribe said is true, salamat na lang,"

"Bibi, you know I'm not talking about –  wait – what did she say about him?"

"Wala," Beata grimaces as she pushes away from the long-haired twin. "Also, couldn't you wipe yourself off bago ka mang-asar? Manghahawa ka pa ng lagkit, kadiri amp,”

Finally getting the message, Basilio himself scooted a good few inches away, letting her out of his grip.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as he ran a hand against his other arm, muttering, "I'm not even that sweaty," to himself.

Beata rolls her eyes. Sometimes, it's really hard to imagine how the underworld trembles at the mere mention of The Kambal.

"Hoy teka – don't change the subject!" Basilio says, raising one hand to give her a light chop on the top of her head.

"Aray!" She glares at him. "Parang gago naman 'to eh! What was that for?!"

"Beata, just talk to Carlos," Basilio says seriously, the way he does when he's imitating his older brother. "I'm getting tired of you giving him puppy-dog eyes every time you see him –"

"I'm not –" She objects, glowering.

"– or you completely stuttering when he's near –"

"H-hindi kami close!"

"– or you suddenly disappearing into the kitchen when he's at the bar –"

"I was needed there!"

"– And you haven't actually spoken with him, have you?"

"I-I've talked to him!"

"Yeah. Once."

"Point still stands that I was able to hold a conversation,"

"Telling him that Bossing isn't at the club doesn't count as a conversation, Bibi-girl." He winks.

"Sure, it does. He even said thank you before leaving," She insists. "And I sparred against him today. So… so there."

"Well, you wore that new sports bra for him, and he didn’t notice,"

Her mouth fell open. "H-huy, gago, hindi!"

Basilio's eyes widened at how squeaky her voice came out. "I was teasing! Oh shit, you really did, didn't you?"

"Oh, my God," She groans, burying her face in her hands. "I hate you so much,"

Beside her, he all but exploded with laughter, and Beata was so, so tempted to see if his regeneration abilities could keep up if she started to rip out his arms just before the next one grows.

"Don't worry, Bibi. I won't tell,"

"Sure you won't."

"I mean, you never wear that when you're up against Kuya and me,"

"Shut it, Basilio," She moaned, face still hidden.

He touched his shoulder to hers. "Yiie, dalaga na siya..."

"Para kang gago,"

"He's got big feet…" He goes on.

"No, Basilio. Just... no."

"And you know what they say about men who've got big feet." A pause, and then. "I mean, I would know…"

"Isa pa, ha. Pag 'di ka talaga tumigil, sinasabi ko sa ‘yo... ”

Basilio's laugh echoes throughout the gym.

[significantlylesschill]

Please infodump about Raymond he's the most oc ever 👀

OH, WELL ! if you insist!!

(for anyone who is unclear!! raymond hashimoto is my [bmc fanon] Creator Of Squips and current head of the organization who manages their creation and distribution)

god we were just talkin abt this yesterday, but my guy raymond got his start as a character bc we wanted an Antagonist and i was the first one to mention i had a character concept on a backburner already; this wassss, three, four years ago-ish and turns out i really liked him so ive been lovingly developing his character since lmao

im preemptively adding a readmore bc i already know im gonna ramble FHKSDJF so buckle up raymond enjoyers!!

THEMATICALLY SPEAKING hes a little bit The Villain Has Some Points But Is Going About It The Wrong Way type beat . i mean. he went the 'use ai to fix everyone' route, yall know how it is; [see Be More Chill for examples]; raymond has always had trouble connecting to other people, fully understanding social cues--stuff like that doesnt come naturally to him, yknow? and the people around him growing up didnt respond well to this, and he understandably grew frustrated, and then that anger just.............ddddidnt go anywhere for like twenty years, and oops! my guy started taking some drastic measures

to provide a loose timeline, SQUIPs first came into fruition as the passion project slash college independent study project of one young adult ray--a chatbot type thing you could talk to, and in turn it would learn more about human social behavior, and help its user to become more comfortable navigating such!

every following iteration of this little bot was both more impressive and less noble in concept. for a while raymond fixated on making them ~*marketable*~ [party blower noises] but that didnt go over well in the long run, and long story short, this project hed poured his heart and soul into continued in more underground and MUCH less legal ways, until we reach in-universe present day, where something like the Mess That Happens In Be More Chill Musical Canon is not only probable, but expected

the world is full of people who dont listen, after all. its a squips job to figure out how to make them listen

raymond has an absurd amount of power, and he has little problem with exerting it for the purpose of keeping himself entertained. raymond likes sour candy and energy drinks and all manner of sugary sodas, and doesnt have anything resembling a sleep schedule. raymond has seven squip units of his own, three of which are no longer functional, and he tests all new major iterations on himself. raymond thinks he has it all figured out. raymond has an enormous personal stake in the success of his squip project. raymond never tells an outright lie because the ramifications of such are annoying and confusing and take way too much mental energy to bother.

raymond has a DEEP appreciation for the natural world; astronomy especially, he's been fascinated with it since he was young. there are things mankind can only barely touch, catch merely a glimpse of, things that will never fully be understood--not because mankind does not try, no, far from it--but because their perspective will simply never be large enough. also he names all his squip units after planets lol

his employees are treated with care and respect; given they play by his rules, of course. the professional world is where raymond is at his most capable; it's a world of rules and wages and agreements, and these are things that can be studied and mastered

raymond is a villain. he came to the conclusion once that mankind is flawed, and he felt as though hes the only one willing to act in a drastic enough manner to change things. he took drastic measures, spent years clawing into a position of power, and decided once he got there that he rather likes having power, actually. why shouldnt he indulge himself a little bit? why not get comfortable while hes here, hm? and at the top is where he plans on staying for as long as he possibly can.

i do also associate him with Every Single Track In The Album Spirit Phone By Lemon Demon . thank you for your time <3

[kyber-kisses]

I, Alone (Part 4)

Dean Winchester x Reader

Want to start from the beginning? Find the Masterlist HERE!

Warnings: angst, ITS ABOUT THE YEARNING

Summary: as Dean tries to figure out what is missing from his life, the reader is still attempting to run from her past.

A/n: I’m so sorry guys, this should have been finished days ago my writers block is hella bad. Anyways I hope you enjoy and please tell me what you thought!

Two years.

Two years of running from the past. Most people would say you could have stopped running months ago, and they were probably right. . . But once you get used to it it can become addicting. Plus it kept you busy, kept your mind off of Sam. . . And Dean. You kept hunting though of course, you couldn’t give that up no matter how hard you tried. No matter where you ended up there would always be a monster that needed slaying.

Two years.

 Two years since you left the bunker and drove east until you couldn’t anymore. You found an airport, bought a ticket and left the back roads of the good old US of A behind before you could stop yourself.

And where did all that running lead you? To this moment now. The suns rays were almost too bright even with your sunglasses on, but your eyes were trained on the quaint street before you, watching as people went about their daily lives. normal lives.The small outdoor cafe you found yourself nestled at was the closest thing to peace you would probably ever find. It was better than some of the other places you had been. The small town was tucked into the lush countryside of France far from anything evil.

To bad you’d have to leave in a day or so.

That was one of your only rules. Never stay too long. If you did that you’d meet people and the last thing you wanted to do was build connections. (And look how well everything turned out the last time you cared about someone.)

It was almost funny how it had all played out. In the beginning you had been terrified of being alone in the world and now you preferred it. You got to finally get an outside look of how you had been living and you realized that if you let people in they were just harder to let go of. It was easier being by yourself. That much you knew.

“Alright, where to next?” You mumbled, unfolding the worn and fading map out in front of you, taking up most of the small sunlit table.

You had started running two years ago, you couldn’t stop now. Eyes on the horizon, no second glances back.

*. *. *. *. *. *. *.

Something was missing.

Dean could feel it in the very marrow of his bones. As days past and turned into weeks the older Winchester was trying desperately to figure out what was wrong. After his first few incidents he began writing them down, from the random bag of candy to the extra cup of coffee he had poured- it all was written down. Some things happening more than once. It’s as if his mind had shifted into some sort of auto pilot. Yet no matter how hard he stared at the list or went over it out loud, his head would not give him the one thing he was desperately digging for.

Answers.

He tried to piece it together like a puzzle, but for the life of him it was like two things weren’t connecting in his brain. . . Either that or there was some sort of dumb wall in his head that he couldn’t knock down or climb over.

But he knew something was there. It was just. . . Hidden.

“Sam, I’m telling you man- something’s not right.” Dean tried once more, following his brothers heels as they stepped up into the library.

“Cas has checked on you several times these past few weeks, don’t you think he would have told you if he felt something off?”

Dean paused mid stride, watching as Sam sunk down into his seat. “You think I’m crazy don’t you?”

“You want me to be honest?” Sam quirked an eyebrow, looking over the edge of his book. “Yes. Just a little bit.”

With an exasperated sigh Dean let his head fall back, the older Winchester rolling his eyes before he moved over to the chair across from Sam. “So you’re telling me you don’t feel anything. . . Off?”

“For the final time, No!”

“Not like something’s missing? Like something’s should be here but isn’t?”

This time it was Sams turn to sigh, slamming his book shut before tossing it onto the table. His brother had been talking about this for weeks. weeks! And it was beginning to drive him up the wall.

“Dean, you lose shit all the time. You’re always misplacing crap. You need to calm down!”

“Calm down?! Sam, I’m losing my fucking mind over here, I can’t calm down!” Slamming his hands down on the polished wood of the table, Dean quickly stood up, his anger beginning to fizz in his veins.

Quickly fed up with his brothers lack of help the hunter pushed away from the table, making his way back down the hallway. But once more his brain went into auto pilot and before he could register it he had passed his own room, instead halting outside the door of a room that as far as he could remember had been vacant and empty ever since they found the bunker.

The brass numbers were tarnished, and the door itself sensibly shut. It was just another one of the spare bedrooms. Nothing special about it. Hesitantly he ran a calloused hand over the numbers, working his mind to try and find the missing piece. It was like he was trying to follow a trail of breadcrumbs but it kept stopping so he had no choice but to stop as well. Where there should have been memories there was only blank space.

“What the hell?” He grumbled, jaw clenching in anger. He was trying so hard to remember. So hard. Yet nothing was showing up. The exhaustion of it all settling over him like a heavy cloud.

And that’s when he felt the tears running down his face. The hunter moving his hand from the brass numbers to wipe at his face in confusion, eyebrows drawing together as he looked down at his wet palm.

He was crying? Why the hell was he crying?

And then suddenly his knees buckled and he was sliding down the opposite wall, head falling into his hands. He was trying with everything he had to remember but his mind wouldn’t let him and he could feel himself falling apart. Sam wouldn’t listen and that didn’t make him feel any better.

“Dean?”

The sudden voice had Deans head popping up, jade eyes fixating on the trench coated angel walking down the hallway towards him, his own eyes filled with concern.

“Cas?”

“What’s wrong?”

The angel knelt down, eyes filling with more worry at the sight of his friend who’s eyes were red and filled with tears. Dean opened his mouth to speak, flinching only when his voice cracked.

“I’ve lost something very important to me and I don’t know what it is.”

SPN Taglist (still open!)

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[geekywritings]

Rise of a Queen - Nikolai Lantsov x OC PART 11

From that day on, Taya felt strangely on edge. A victory against the Darkling was so close now and with it the revenge she desired so much, but what would happen afterward? She hadn't thought beyond that point really. Would she keep on ruling? She was no Lantsov and nobody had placed her on the throne. They all just accepted her intermediate involvement during the crisis, but would the nobles, the military and the Grisha support her during peaceful times? And more importantly, did she even want that?

She was throwing those questions around in her head that evening, when a knock suddenly caught her attention. She called "Come in!" and then almost jumped up from where she had been sitting on the window still upon seeing Alina enter. Although her return had been announced, Taya had not expected the sun summoner to come and see her. Even though they knew each other through Nikolai and the others, they had never spent any time one on one, Taya realized.

"Can I help you, Alina?", Taya asked, moving to greet the arrival.

Alina gave a small smile, visibly uncertain on how to handle the situation. She was almost fidgety, the Squaller noticed and that's when she spotted the tiny object Alina was pushing back and forth in her hands.

"I wanted to give you this.", Alina revealed when she saw Taya's eyes fixated on her hands. "He wanted you to have it." She held the tiny thing out to Taya, whose eyes went wide. The Lantsov Emerald!

For a second tears threatened to spill out again, but Taya did her best to hold them back. Instead, she forced herself to shake her head. "He gave it to you and he asked me if I was ok with you keeping it as a present. And I am." She didn't even dare reach out for it.

"I know, but he told me to give it to you. As a sign of his affection."

"He told you?"

Alina motioned for the chairs in the room, and after a while of hearing the sun summoner explain about Merzost and Nikolai's transformation, Taya was more than glad to be seated. She felt her entire body tremble, but only one piece of information really stuck out to her.

"So he is alive?"

Alina nodded.

"Can you save him?" This question came far more hesitantly and so did Alina's answer.

"It didn't work for long the first time I tried. But now I have the third amplifier. And perhaps defeating the Darkling will help."

It wasn't much, but it gave Taya hope. Something she hadn't felt for a long time now. "You have my full support for your attack against the Darkling."

"I know, Zoya told me. But I want to take as few people into the fold with me as possible."

It was something Taya could admire about the sun summoner, who had been thrown into this role unwillingly. "Take whoever you want. And I know that Zoya and the council will most likely disagree, but I will be going as well."

For the first time, a ghost of a smile passed over Alina's face. "Don't let Zoya hear that or she will lock you into a wardrobe most likely."

Taya could not help a smile either and slowly she did reach for the ring, that Alina had placed on the table. To feel it in her hand, knowing that he had held it, was comforting. But still... "It was his gift to you first, Alina. Please keep it. He will have plenty of ways to show me his affection once we save him."

They just needed to take out the Darkling first.

________________________

Taya had never been in the fold before and although she didn't regret coming, she swore to herself never to enter this place again. Though if everything went according to plan, there would be no fold to worry about after this day.

Alina had brought her Soldat Sol, several Grisha and soldiers of the First Army, as well as her closest circle of friends. Gregori, Alexander and Taya were acting as the main Squallers, while the others kept watch for possible attacks. They were in the Darkling's element and needed to be extra careful.

The first Nichevo'ya came out of the blue. No sound, no warning. It was as if it had materialized from the fold itself, but Sonya had seen it in time, sending a giant flame in its direction. Instantly, everyone was on high alert. Just seconds later, a swarm of the monsters descended upon them and even Taya and the twins were forced to stop their wind summons to enter the fight. They kept blasting incoming Nichevo'ya away from the others just to buy time, but they still seemed to be vastly outnumbered.

One of the beasts swept down, its sharp talons tearing at Taya's side. She felt the claws rip through the fabric of her kefta and into her flesh, but she bit her teeth through the pain and sent it flying off into the darkness. Suddenly an explosion knocked her back, as she landed unceremoniously against a mast of their skiff. Her head felt strangely light and heavy and the same time and she found herself unable to stand back up on her own. Alexander, who had landed right next to her, extended his hand to help her up, but she felt rather wobbly on her feet.

More Nichevoy'a were coming their way and Taya raised her hands, even though she had no idea whether she would be able to summon a gust of wind powerful enough to keep them at bay. But apparently, she didn't need to. More creatures appeared, looking just as terrifying as the Nichevo'ya, but instead of descending on them as well, they attacked the other beasts. What in the Saints' names was happening? Taya's head was pounding too hard to think about it further and as she brushed some hair away, she noticed that she was bleeding at her temple as well.

It was pure adrenaline and the will to survive this that kept her going at this point and she threw herself back into battle without thinking. She had long lost sight of Alina, but suddenly the Nichevo'ya began to disappear, like snow in the first spring sunshine. The other monsters too began to vanish and as Taya looked up to watch this strange scene, she noticed one particular creature change shape. Darkness gave way to a human body with tousled blonde hair. Nikolai!

Although her body was aching, Taya rushed forward, using as much power as she could to slow his fall and allow him to settle down gently on the ground. She was by his side a second later, bedding his head on her lap and crying tears of joy. Slowly, he opened his eyes. He was dirty, looked exhausted from the battle and when he spoke, his voice had turned strangely raspy.

"Taya... you are here."

"Yes, of course I am."

His hand rose to wipe away the tears from her dirty cheeks and when he saw the blood, his brow furrowed. "You need a healer."

"We all need one."

"But you..."

"No nonsense.", she cut him off and leaned down to kiss him.

It was only now that both of them seemed to realize fully that the fighting around them had stopped. Compared to the chaos just minutes earlier, it seemed strangely quiet, with everyone checking for their closest comrades. Gregori and Alexander were both surprisingly fine. Sonya was limping and sporting a deep gash from her shoulder down her back, but was still alive. Zoya, looking dirtier than ever before, had suffered several cuts as well, but held herself as proudly as always. The main concern was Alina however and Taya helped Nikolai stand, so they could go and look.

"I think I can walk... besides, you seem to need the support more than I do.", his strength was slowly returning now, while Taya's was fading fast.

"Go and look for her... I will wait here with the others.", she assured him, her hand now on the wound on her side. She didn't care about the pain or the many hours they would all need to rest now. The only thing that mattered was that Nikolai was alive and Ravka safe.

______________________

It was strange how such battles were always followed by grand victory celebrations in books. In reality, there was a lot of chaos and bureaucratic nonsense, Taya discovered. They needed to stage a fake funeral for Sankta Alina, who had defeated the Darkling in the fold, sacrificing her own life in the process. At the same time they needed to offer official explanations for the newly created army of sun summoners, who had inherited their powers from Alina. And finally, there was the matter of Nikolai's official declaration as Tsar, which they still hadn't gotten a chance to carry out properly.

Days blended into one, as Taya tried to balance resting to heal and running the kingdom next to Nikolai and the others. And of course, there was some grand victory celebration, though honestly, those who had fought for it hardly noticed it happening.

"Why do I see you out of bed again?", Taya heard Nikolai chide her, as she stood by the window, looking out at Os Alta. The city was celebrating again today and the streets were filled with colorful lights and loud music filtering all the way to the palace.

She smiled as she turned to him, pulling her new kefta tighter around the nightgown she wore underneath.

"I couldn't sleep.", she announced. "Besides, you are running around as well."

"I, my love, didn't have a Nichevo'ya almost slice me in half. And I also didn't suffer a concussion after making the acquaintance of a skiff mast.", he argued back, coming to take her hands in his. It felt wrong though and Taya instantly saw why. Gloves.

"You can take them off around me, you know."

He didn't seem convinced, but Taya was stubborn, just tearing them off and taking his hands back into hers. "Better.", she decided.

"You aren't scared?"

"Why would I be? The only thing I care about is that you are alive. Scarred or not." To prove her point she placed a soft kiss on each hand, ignoring the dark lines.

"I love you, Taya."

He didn't know why, but he just had to say it. He had said it every day since their reunion, but it still never seemed enough.

"And I love you, Nikolai."

The words still took him by surprise every time she said them, especially since he had feared never to hear them again. And what a pleasant surprise it was, making him shiver and feel warm at the same time. He moved to embrace her, holding her close to him.

Taya returned the gesture, clinging to him as if he would vanish if she let go even just a little. "I thought I had lost you forever... I never thought I would hold you like that again. But here we are.", she admitted in a whisper. He let go of her to look right into her eyes, seeing the fear, the worry, and the pure happiness and love reflected in them all at once.

"It really does seem like fate, doesn't it?", he asked with a small smile. Fate, Taya had never really believed in it, to be honest, but perhaps it was true. It did feel like a miracle and how different were wonders from fate really? Again they embraced, just enjoying the presence of the other so close.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?", she asked after a while, not breaking contact.

His reply was a low groan. It was his long-overdue coronation ceremony, but even though it was everything he had wanted, Nikolai didn't feel ready for it.

"Want to be crowned first instead?", he asked her.

Now she let go of him, giving him a stern look. "YOU are the Tsar, Nikolai."

"But you will be my Queen. And you have done more ruling than I have at this point." He was still amazed at how well she had handled everything and immensely proud of her for having taken on this challenge. It also assured him that he would not be in this alone.

"I'd much rather attend our wedding than the coronation anyways.", he whispered to her, causing her to blush slightly.

"Me too.", she admitted, but added just as quickly: "But Ravka needs their Tsar to be official."

"Always the pragmatic.", he chuckled. "Good thing I don't need to wait for our wedding night until the marriage ceremony."

It earned him an even deeper blush from Taya, accompanied by a playful punch against his shoulder.

"Oh? You don't want to?", he teased, his arms sneaking back around her middle.

"Shut up and kiss me, you royal fool.", she just said and he gladly complied, before sweeping her off her feet to carry her back to bed.

[the-darklings]

—𝗖𝗢𝗔 𝗙𝗔𝗤;

Hello, everyone! So with COA being such a long-running series and new readers finding it constantly, I have come to realise that a lot of questions I get often repeat. So to keep everything easy and clear and friendly for everyone regardless of whether you started COA at the very beginning of the story or just recently found it, I have spent the day relaxing, eating junk food, and compiling this FAQ. Please read through it because chances are the answers are here somewhere. I have sectioned the guide into following: general, story, ships, original squad (OCs), AUS, OC!V and tips/advice. If the answer to your question is not here, please feel free to send me a message and have a wonderful day! <33 - kat.

GENERAL:

when does this story update?

I try to keep a bi-weekly schedule (now usually Sunday updates). But I always let you know when the chapter is done by making a final word count post (pre edits). 

do you have a masterlist?

yes, you can find it here.

do you have a tag list?

not for COA. they’re very time consuming and I’m already really busy sorry :(

are your requests open?

I rarely open my inbox for requests. the only exception being the monthly blurb nights. then I reblog a prompt list and let people send some requests in for any fandom/ship. however, usually due to how many I get, it only happens every few months. that being said, you can still send me ideas/suggestions and if it inspires me, I will write it. that’s how the majority of the AUs have come about. but i’m also a very busy person so sorry if I can’t. 

can I make X or Y for COA and tag you?

yes. yes. yes. please, please, feel free to create whatever for COA (no matter how small or silly) because I consider it a great honour that I’ve been able to inspire someone else. whatever it is, please tag me. I wanna see.

okay, I made a thing and tagged you but you didn’t respond :(

Tumblr is notorious for eating my notifs. whatever it is (art/post/etc) if I don’t respond to it in a day or two, please give me a nudge. you’re not being annoying, I promise. chances are I missed it/tumblr ate it. 

I wanna scream/discuss/theorise about COA with others, is there any way for me to do that?

my amazing readers have set up this reddit page that is full of lovely people, theories, and memes etc. I check it often and interact on there, too, so feel free to drop by.

STORY:

how many chapters will COA be?

25. the last one being a very long epilogue.

have you decided on the ending yet?

yes. from as early as part 2. it's barely changed since. 

will we ever see more of Prague/Naples? hoe, please say yes.

yes. I plan to write both as COA bonus stories after the main story-line concludes.

will there be a sequel? 

depends. on two things: 1) if anyone will even care by that point 2) time. this story has consumed 5 months of my life entirely. i’ve been incredibly strict with myself when it comes to writing it (in a good way) but at best it won’t be finished till the end of august/beginning of september. so likely even if I do, there will be a break for a few months at least. I do have ideas though.

you promised us smut. where is it?

patience is a virtue. ;)

happy ending or tragedy? (please don’t say tragedy, you monster)

I would describe it more as “bittersweet” but whether it leans more towards bitter or sweet you’ll have to see.   

SHIPS:

any endgame hints?

you know more about the ending than you probably realise

can v/s finally go to Paris? for the love of GOD? pLEASE?

no

hector + v? powerful. will there be more of them in the future? 

agreed & yes. hector and v have their own arc to go on. it’s actually one of my favourites in this story. I don’t want to say more than that right now because I have plans for their dynamic so no spoilers. :)

please stop bullying john. give us some j/v content please? 

i, for one, adore john. it’s team S that’s bullying him lol. but wait till parabellum. i’ve always referred to that portion of the story as the second coming of j/v.

does lucien actually have a thing for v or is it a creepy obsession? 

it’s both.

I ship v with everyone :/ is that bad?

the sky is the limit. ship all the things proudly (but seriously, no, it isn’t. I ship all the ships, too, and that’s the fun of it) 

v/elder tho? 👀

🔫🤡

j/v or s/v? be honest.

you fool,,,, you buffoon. ot3 j/v/s is where it’s really at. imagine their POWER.   

ORIGINAL SQUAD:

what do the Elites/Lovers look like/how old are they?

please refer to this

will there be more step??

of course. he’s my baby. :)

will we see more of camorra/learn more about the elite’s and their backstories?

while I would love to take the time and flesh them all out with full backstories, only hector will be getting his backstory explored in the main canon because plot.

does lucien care for mika anymore or has he replaced her with v?

lucien is a messy hoe. mika is his subject of “affection” but v is his foil and equal. he recognises the same hurt in her that he has gone through himself so it’s more of a fixation. with time, lucien would likely destroy v so no bueno. 

I ship our OCs.

I do, too.

can we write about your OCs/V?

so you would have to come to me and discuss this more in private but I’m fine with this sort of thing usually. in fact, a prequel hector story already exists so you’re likely good but please contact me first. 

AUs:

when/how often do you update the vampire!au?

whenever I have time/inspo. mainly time. so this means you can get it daily or not get it for several weeks because COA is priority. I keep you all updated on when I have something cooking tho.

what is the actual pairing for vamp!au?

undecided as of yet. i’m leaning more towards ot3 right now but we shall see.

how often do you update flowing in me?

same as the above. whenever I have the time but I will keep you updated.

how many parts will flowing in me be?

I have 5 parts(ish) planned.

do you have a tag list for flowing in me?

I will. please leave a comment on the story if you want to be tagged in future parts!

will flowing in me feature other characters (john, winston etc.)?

this story is mainly camorra-centric but I do plan for John to appear at some point.

how did you come up with your lore in vamp!au?

to be completely honest....I just wrote a bunch of stuff down and used what stuck. mostly the ideas were pulled out of thin air while still trying to keep within the spirit of the canon material (the high priest, the holy church, the twelve priests, john being the boogeyman etc). camorra as the natural enemy seemed fitting and santino as a vampire prince even more so.

can we send you new au ideas/expand on old ones (manager!V etc)?

yes, always. I always try my hardest to reply but ofc I can’t promise I’ll be able to use them all but thank you in advance.

OC!V:

who is the face claim for OC!V?

weronika spyrka

what is her real name?

clara

how old is she at the beginning of the story and now?

23 beginning of chapter 1, 30 beginning of chapter 4 (current timeline)

will/would you ever write an original story about her?

I have considered creating something original out of COA itself or one of its sister series/concepts (like FIM). since I really started working on COA during last year’s NaNo, that might be the time I create something original this year. 

TIPS & ADVICE:

how do you write so much, so quickly?

I don’t think that word count is really reflective of the quality work itself. I don’t think you should worry how much you write, either. 100 words can be just as valuable as 1k. most of them time I have a deadline breathing down my neck and I do work well under pressure so that inspires me to force the chapters out. I also do very long days because despite what it might look like I’m not a fast writer.

how can I improve my writing?

read and practice. I know it’s dumb and overused advice but it’s how I learned english and found my style (still a mess and WIP) but still this advice does help. 

how do you keep motivated?

spite, your support, genuine adoration for these characters/word, a lot of spite. 

do you plan? outline?

I have a vague story outline with specific scenes in mind as I go along (helps to set up foreshadowing, twists, and those ‘full circle’ moments). I also plan each chapter scene by scene and know what each chapter is meant to accomplish. So yeah in a sense. 

[thehollowprince]

Two cents from a female cis-het passing queer person who grew up in a deeply compulsory heterosexual environment. Media and mainstream het culture socialises girls and women to identify so much deeply problematic and violent male behaviour as perfectly normal, romantic behaviour. Prime example, Spike and Buffy. imo this is heavily reflected in the mlm slash ships that straight people love to fetishize, prime example St*r*k. When I discovered they were a ship it made me really sad.

Oh, you're preaching to the choir.

That was a pattern I picked up on years ago, one that I actually had to look for, because as a guy, I was told that it was okay to behave like the men we saw on television. Well... half told. My grandmother always told me to be nice first, because if you start off by being an asshole, no one's ever going to think your anything but an asshole. I also realized all on my own that maybe I should just care about other people, but that's just me.

The thing that really gets me about this phenomenon is that it's on here. Naturally, I don't expect Tumblr to be completely absent of this, but come on! This is Tumblr! You could throw a stick and hit a post about how men shouldn't treat women like that, or how women shouldn't put up with it, but then those very same people turn around and make apology posts for Kylo Ben, or Snape, or Damon Salvatore or Klaus Mikaelson or Spike. Oh, god, Spike! That whole "romance" (see: obsession) between the two just blew my mind, even back when the show was airing (yes, I'm old enough to remember when it aired on the WB and then UPN).

The fact that anyone can look at the intersections between Buffy and Spike and call that a romance disgusts me. And that's without even including the attempted rape. Just his obsession with her since the fourth season and how that spiraled into everything. That show really should have just ended at season five.

Spike is actually the earliest example that I've seen of a fandom loving a villain so much that the production decides to keep bringing them back. Except, you can't keep them around as the villain (y'know, the version of the character that everyone fell in love with), because it eventually gets to the point of "why can't the heroes beat the villain?" Simple, we'll give them a Tragic Backstory™, have them make the sad puppy eyes, and bam! We got us an antihero.

And people just eat that shit up.

It happened with both Damon and Klaus on The Vampire Diaries and The Originals. We have two characters who are introduced as these outright villains, killing people for their own amusement or to prove a point, but fans loved them so much that they got turned into antiheroes and all their bad deeds forgiven. I mean, its outright nauseating to see the way Damon treated Elena throughout the run of the show, invading her personal space, trying to compel her into kissing him, manhandling her, taking her choices away, and fans calling that love. Same with Klaus, who repeatedly threatened Caroline, actually tried to kill her (twice!), and Kl*r*line shippers thing that's the peak of romantic behavior because Klaus makes the sad puppy eyes. (See also: Theo from Teen Wolf)

And don't even get me started on the fandom fixation on Bonkai!

It all stems down to this weird phenomenon where one of the two characters is a self-insert for the reader/viewer, because they want to bang the male character/actor. That's why Rey is usually written so one-dimensional in R*ylo fics, because the reader is thirsty for Adam Driver. And that, of course, just leads us back to Teen Wolf and St*r*k. Although, that one's a little tricky, because you'd think that so many of these St*r*k shippers would insert themselves into Stiles (which there are a fair share that do), but more often than not, Derek acts as the self-insert, because most of the fans want to bang Dylan O'Brien. Seriously, I will never understand fandom's fascination with white twinks, but it's an all-encompassing thing.

Part of me understands because I'm old enough to remember the early years of internet fandom. Okay, I was there for FF.net before the purges. I remember Anne Rice's militant legal campaign against her own fans. I remember when the BNFs started gatekeeping, harassing the self-insert OCs in fanfic. Hell, I remember Ms. Scribe and the Inner Circle! I have seen things! And that crackdown against OCs was what led to the rise of fangirls in the slash fandom. Equal parts hiding from the BNFs and fetishizing mlm sexuality for their own amusement/pleasure.

The thing that really baffles me about it all is why St*r*I. Ignoring the obvious reasons (*cough*racism*cough*), why them. As I already pointed out, Tumblr loves their posts about self worth and not standing for abuse, but then turn around and advocate for one of the most abusive crack ships I've ever seen. Why not, say, Scott and Danny, who had actual moments that, if taken out of context, could be portrayed as moments of a building romance ("its Armani"), or Scott and Isaac ("Be careful"/"I don't want you to get hurt" and "Dude, I love Mexican"). Like, the subtext between Scott and Isaac was so strong that one could just call it text.

We had four canonically gay characters (Danny, Ethan, Mason and Corey) and yet the focus is still on two straight characters. Hell, Mason was literally the version of Stiles that fandom cooked up (incredibly smart, did the research, openly gay, had a crush on a hot werewolf that he was very open about) and yet he doesn't get even a fraction of the attention that Stiles does, despite fulfilling the criteria they claim they want in the form of more queer representation. It can't be because he's black, right? I mean, they've told me they're not racist, despite numerous examples of racism, so it's hard to know what to believe (insert sarcasm here).

But still, fandom put these two characters that couldn't stand each other, and who both had much stronger connections to Scott, together in their heads and then cried queerbaiting when they didn't get what they wanted. There comes a point where you have to question whether these people are that influenced by media and propaganda or they're being willfully ignorant.

Anyway, thanks for listening. Apparently I had more of that bottle up inside than I thought so thanks for giving me an outlet to express my frustration. And now, back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

[whatcouldgowrong-ohthat]

Ronalda Prologue

Summary: Frigga had done everything she could to protect Ronalda’s secret. But when Odin found out, she was stripped of her title as a “Valkyrie” and sent to prison. Who would have thought that Loki stealing the tesseract would lead to him falling into prison right alongside Ronalda?

A/N: This follows Loki’s timeline after he steals the Tesseract in Endgame. :)

Word Count: 1151 words

Warnings: Cussing

Masterlist - OC Masterlist

-.-.-.-

Ronalda had grown accustomed to many things. The music of the Kyln was that of idiots howling, attempting to rile each other up. They couldn’t care less about the guards and, in truth, the guards didn’t think twice about them. And Ronalda wasn’t capable of caring about any of them – guard and prisoner alike. This was a place where very few survived, so what was the point?

Still, people tried to escape. It was inevitable. There were threats. Promises never fulfilled.

“Hey, Ro, you hear about the newest prisoner?” The voice was faint, coming from across the room. Its owner was locked in another cell.

She didn’t say anything, knowing better than to comment. Aldebron loved trying to get a rise out of her. Stupid Axi-tun. Instead, Ronalda focused on the cool metal that chilled her even through their horrible yellow garb.  Her eyes remained fixated on the wall across from her, fingers picking at her nails.

“He’s Asgardian,” came the sing-song tune that Aldebron was so well known for. She was a gossip through and through. Loved spreading rumors and lies. And while the tick in Ronalda’s jaw was almost unnoticeable, she caught it. She always did. “The TVA didn’t want him anymore. Too much of a handful.”

Ronalda huffed, finally looking her way. “Do you ever shut up?”

Aldebron grinned, pale white eyes practically glowing. “Am I getting under your skin?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

Ronalda rolled her eyes. She hated that woman with a burning passion. “You know I don’t know every Asgardian, right?”

“Not even a prince?”

The tension in Ronalda’s shoulders was coiled, like a snake ready to strike. She hadn’t known either of Frigga’s sons personally, but she knew of them. Everyone did. Thor and Loki. But Thor wouldn’t have messed with the Time Variance Authority. Ronalda’s eyes closed. Loki? She recalled how Frigga had taught him magic. Always living in Odin’s and Thor’s shadows, it would have made sense. But not enough.

Frigga always spoke of how worried she was for Loki. His desire to step out from under Thor’s shadow, to earn Odin’s love, it was suffocating him. Frigga had confided her worries for Loki – how one of these days his desperation would drive him to do something truly crazy.

So maybe it made a little sense.

“Hello,” Aldebron drawled. “I’m talking to you.”

“Funny,” Ronalda spared her one last glance. “It sounded like whining to me.”

Aldebron glared, pushing herself away from the bars. Skulking back into her cell, Aldebron had decided the game wasn’t fun anymore.

A coy smirk tugged at her lips. While there weren’t many things that brought Ronalda entertainment, pissing off that arrogant twat always managed to do a little something. Shifting her gaze to her fingers, Ronalda winced whens he saw that a finger was bleeding. She brought it to her lips as her mind drifted to Loki. If he was here, there was no doubt he’d get himself in trouble. That’s just how Loki was. Don’t. They cast you out and Odin locked you away. There’s no reason for you to – Ronalda shook her head, running her hand over her face.

There was plenty of reason. Frigga was the most important one.

--

And that night, Ronalda dreamed. She remembered.

Asgard was beautiful. That particular detail was one of the more infuriating things about it. The streets were clean. The buildings stunning. The castle extravagant. All of it was meant to show off and reveal to the world that Asgard was, and always would be, the place everyone dreamed to be a part of.

Still, her favorite part would always be this. The Valkyrie training grounds.

She watched from out of sight, eyes never straying from their movements. While swords clashed, women trained to fight with honor and respect. It was a world she would always want to be a part of.

But never could.

“What are you doing out here?”

She jerked, stumbling and twisting around as her butt collided with the rough, cobblestone surface. Standing above her, watching with curious amusement, was the Queen of Asgard. “I – Queen Frigga!” She hated the way her voice sounded, a lower voice that mirrored the body she lived in. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to watch.”

Queen Frigga knelt down, her fingers curling under a lost child’s chin and tilting her head up. There was no longer amusement there. Only concern. “What’s your name, child?”

Sniffling and blinking away the tears in her eyes, she murmured, “Birger.”

A small smile curled Frigga’s lips. She ran her thumb over her cheek and shook her head. “No, it’s not. Remember that your queen was raised by witches. I have heard stories of people feeling trapped in bodies that are not their own. Tell me your name. Not the one your family gifted you. Your own.”

Tears flowed freely now. Whether from fear or relief, she had yet to know. But right now, in this instant, she finally felt safe. Understood. “It – It’s Ronalda.”

--

In less than twelve hours, Loki had made a name for himself. It seemed the whole prison knew about him. He was declaring himself Loki of Jotunheim instead of the Prince of Asgard. And people found him interesting. The prisoners loved a good story and Loki was a man with a silver tongue. He knew how to weave a tale and he wove it well.

He spoke of Midgard. How he had gone to rule them. Of course, it hadn’t gone well – he was here with them.

“If it wasn’t for Thor, that Loki fellow would be ruling Midgard right now. Not a day passes that I don’t hate those stupid Asgardians. Odin and the lot of them should rot.” The Ba-Bani spoke as if he could actually win a fight against Thor, but Ronalda knew better.

She bit her tongue, deciding it best to hold her opinion close to her heart. Looking over her shoulder, Ronalda watched as men and women alike littered the mess hall. So many criminals that their faces had become a blur in her head. A part of her wondered if Loki would show up.

Ronalda knew Frigga had raised Thor and Loki with love. Surely some of that would have rubbed off on them. And yet Ronald found herself terrified that Odin would reflect more in them than Frigga could ever hope to.

Was he going to get special treatment since he was royalty? Or since he attacked Midgard and now claimed himself a Jotun, would he be forced to interact with the “little people”?

Stop.

The door slammed behind the last of this afternoon’s prisoners. Sparing a quick glance back, she saw he was nowhere near. Another look around the room proved just the same.

Maybe she was wrong. Maybe Loki would prove to be more like Odin. And just maybe she had gotten too eager to care for someone.

[saiilorstars]

Stinging

One Shot//Companion to The Beginning of Everything

**Fandom: **Doctor Who

Pairing: Female OC x 10th Doctor

(OC Face claim: Marjorie de Sousa)

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

A/N: This literally happened because I got stung by a bee today at work and I would’ve really liked for there to be a Doctor around. I don’t even know if best actually affect Time Lords but we’re going to say they do in this world!

Summary: A serene trip turns ugly when a foul little creature makes its presence known.

"This is all lovely but don't you think we should allow Donna a chance to rest?" Renata's concern did nothing to persuade the Doctor to gather up their newest companion and return to the TARDIS.

"No, she's just fine," he reassured Renata and watched Donna walk up to a small bridge connecting the beautiful garden they were visiting.

"She hasn't slept in 2 days," Renata pointed out. "Correct me if I'm wrong but humans need to sleep everyday."

"Quite right, but you see when people first come aboard the TARDIS, they sort of run on the adrenaline for a few days. Even if I _did _tell Donna to take a nap, she wouldn't do it."

"But she really needs to sleep. It's not healthy. Her mind isn't as alert as she would be if she was getting a night's rest."

"Which is why I specifically chose this calm retreat for today," the Doctor gestured to the serene garden around them.

Renata could commend the Doctor for his subtle thinking. _He's done this so many times, _she reminded herself. He knew what he was doing when it came to the companions, _she _did not. "I'm sorry," she apologized a few minutes later.

The Doctor didn't seem very upset. He was smiling like he usually did. "I know how these first days go, Ren. I didn't want to bring Donna somewhere that could turn out to be dangerous. Actually, I think this is the perfect place to inspire Donna to take some rest. Wouldn't you agree?"

Renata only had to look around for two seconds before nodding her head. The garden was part of a luxurious retreat for people in need of serenity for whatever reason. There was no technology allowed for the visitors. Not even a television. The retreat was a nine-story building where the first five floors were dedicated to a treatment for the soul. The rest of the four floors were the guests' bedrooms. The only reason the Doctor's TARDIS had been accepted was because apparently, they owed him.

He had helped save the place at one point, Renata learned. She wasn't remotely surprised.

She honestly loved the garden. It was huge. It seemed almost endless. The grass was a mushy green that just begged for visitors to take off their shoes and let their feet feel the ground. Renata was tempted but that was just inappropriate (she firmly believed it). There were various areas that allowed visitors to have their own mini-gardens to tend to.

"Yeah, you're right. This place is lovely," Renata sighed with content. If only all their trips could be like this...

The Doctor would've died of boredom, she was sure. With a smile, she headed for the bridge that Donna had stopped by.

"Those fishes look like ghosts," Donna remarked when the Time Lady came to a stop beside her. Renata peered over the bridge to see white translucent fishes gliding through the water. Donna suddenly gasped, making Renata think something had happened in the one minute she'd gazed into the lake. "Do they have ghost fishes in space!?"

Renata's face fell flat at the question. She turned her head to the Doctor, making a gesture behind her. The Doctor had to laugh.

"Yeah, those questions happen too," he said, making Donna wonder if they were having some sort of freaky alien conversation in their heads. The Doctor did mention he had that ability and since he had it, Donna was sure that Renata had it as well.

"Donna," Renata turned to the ginger, "There are no such thing as 'ghost fishes'."

"Well," Donna folded her arms, huffing in embarrassment. "How was I supposed to know? I'm brand new at this!"

Renata playfully rolled her eyes. That was fair.

"So Donna, how do you like this place?" the Doctor moved to stand on Donna's other side, leaving her in the middle of the Time Lords.

"It's really nice," Donna nodded, forgetting all about her momentary mistake. "Although the whole 'no cellphones' thing could be revisited."

"The whole point of this place is for people to disconnect," the Doctor reminded her. "Sometime that's what everybody needs."

"Yeah, you ever disconnect from the world?"

Renata startled them with a snort. "What do you think happens when he starts rambling on to himself? Completely forgets anyone else is in the room."

Donna laughed. "Right!"

The Doctor shot Renata a mock-glare that the Time Lady didn't notice. She was busy watching the ghost fishes swim. "I like to talk a lot. Sue me."

"If I did sue you it wouldn't be for your mouth, it'd be for the ridiculous situations you get me into."

"Ah!" he groaned and looked away in exasperation.

"Don't start you two," Donna pointed two playing fingers at them. It was ridiculous how they could start bickering over the smallest of things...but it was also kind of funny sometimes.

"I didn't say anything -- AH!" Renata's hand slapped her right shoulder so hard that it made both Donna and the Doctor flinch. "What the hell was that!?"

"Did she just curse?" Donna blinked at the Time Lady, completely oblivious to Renata's clear distress over her shoulder. "I didn't know she did that!"

The Doctor had sprung into action and rushed to Renata's side. "What happened? Let me see!" Renata's hand was already moving off her shoulder when he pushed it away himself. "Oh..." There was a small orange bug sitting on her shoulder -- a part of its bottom stabbing her skin.

"Oh? What is that?" Renata gritted her teeth at the nasty creature.

"Uh, well...it's, um...sort of the equivalent of a bee..."

"A bee!? You mean those annoying buzzing yellow things Earth has!?"

"Uh, yes, that would be the one."

"This place has bees?" Donna started spinning around searching for more of the creatures in case they also wanted to sting.

"Doctor, this hurts! And why the hell is it orange!?" Renata wanted to pry the bee off her but the Doctor had shoved her hand away again.

"Y-y-you can't just yank it out, Ren!"

"It's stabbing me!" she snapped. "I think I can yank it out of I want to!"

"Well, yes, but, but--" he pointed a finger at her face, though he quickly pulled it away when she fixated a rather dark glare on him, "This isn't just a regular Earth bee. We need to get this out the right way or it might just release more poison into your system."

"Poison!?" Donna gasped in horror. "Is she going to be alright?"

"Ah, yes, completely harmless if we just take the bee out," the Doctor turned Renata around and started leading her off the bridge. "Not _yank _it out," he shot her a warning look for those hands of hers to stay on her sides. "Usually when a native bee here stings it'll just release a minor level of poison that just passes a few hours later."

"Yeah but it hurts," Renata complained and wanted so badly to rub her shoulder. "Like...it really hurts."

"I know, I know, I'll get it out. I promise," the Doctor quickened their pace to get to the TARDIS. "Donna, you can stay out here if you'd like."

"No way!" the ginger called behind them. She was literally right behind them. "I'm not getting stung by alien bees! I think I'll just visit a garden inside the TARDIS."

"Have it your way," the Doctor said distractedly. He wasn't paying attention to her because Renata was starting to whimper the more she continued to look at the bee still embedded in her skin. "You'll be fine," he took her hand and soothingly ran his fingers over the back of it.

"I should just let you know I'm kind of afraid of bugs. That could be it too," she confessed with a wrinkled nose. Her head turned in the opposite direction after catching the bee's wings still fluttering.

"I promise you that you'll be fine," the Doctor said just as they reached the TARDIS. He brought them inside and after taking them off the retreat, he took Renata for the medbay.

Donna had gone off to the garden she talked about but the Doctor might have caught her yawning.

"Just my luck, I get stung by a stupid bee!" Renata huffed when she was able to sit down on the medical bed. "And it hurts so much! Why does it hurt so much!?"

"This is a different type of bee than the ones you got used to on Earth," the Doctor came over with a few tools that Renata wasn't precisely fond of. "It's body is a bit denser than Earth bees."

"Just get it out, please," Renata's hand reached for her shoulder but the Doctor caught it before she could touch it. "Sorry..."

The Doctor smiled softly at her. "Don't worry about it. Just relax, okay? I got you." Renata felt herself flush with that look of his. Of course he had her. I'm completely under your charm, that's what you got, she silently thought.

"Okay, now this is a fairly simple procedure but it might pinch a little," the Doctor warned her as he neared her shoulder with a tool that resembled a tweezer.

"What-what are you going to do?" she eyed the tool wearily.

"Just going to take the bee out."

"Is it going to try and fly afterwards!?"

"Nah, just like Earth bees once I get this one it's just going to die without its stinger."

"Good," Renata pouted, an action she hardly did which was why the Doctor was so amused with her for a second. She stopped being that proper Time Lady to be a scared girl. It was quite a sight.

"Right, just, uh...I don't know, close your eyes if you'd like?" he watched her nod and nervously shut her eyes. "You'll be fine," he whispered encouragingly. He put one of his hands on the edge of her shoulder while his other hand went for the bloody bee. He felt her body flinch when the tweezer started pulling the bee out. It was actually a bit of a bigger bee, much to her luck, but he wouldn't tell her that. "You're doing good, Ren," he told her.

"It hurts..." her face scrunched harder.

"I know, just hang on for another minute." He purposely rubbed her shoulder with his free hand, hoping to soothe her until the bee was completely out. "There you are," he grinned, not that Renata saw it considering she still had her eyes shut. "It's all out! I even got the stinger in one go!"

But Renata still wouldn't open her eyes.

"Renée, you can open your eyes now. I've got the bee."

It was still a struggle to open her eyes completely so she just cracked one open. She yelped when she saw that he was still holding the bee in his tweezer. "Get it away from me!" she swatted her hands in front of him.

The Doctor chuckled. "Alright, alright." He turned away and took the bee with him.

Renata checked her shoulder and saw there was an ugly red blotch marking her skin now. There was a slight swelling in the middle, making it more prominent with its whiter shade. And then she saw the hole it left behind. Granted it was tiny but it was still a hole in her skin.

"Renée?" the Doctor saw the tears filling her eyes. "What's the matter?"

"Would it be too childish to say it still hurts?"

"Oh Renata, you're fine," the Doctor would've chuckled had she not been so scared. Instead, he took her into a soft hug.

"You must think I'm ridiculous, huh?" Renata sniffed. She hadn't really hugged him but she would never mind getting a hug from him. He still hugged like his first incarnation. "Time Lady gets taken down a by a stupid bee."

"I think we all have our fears," the Doctor said, completely calm. He rubbed her back and might have dropped a kiss to the top of her hair. She blushed and for that matter she kept the hug going for a bit longer until it faded. "Now how's about I clean it up and then we do some dinner?"

"Okay," she sniffed and pulled away.

He picked up an old fashion wet cloth and gently dabbed the affected skin. "It did swell a bit but nothing an ice pack can't take care of."

"Just my luck," she sighed.

"You're going to be fine," he promised her yet again. He traded the wet cloth for an ice pack that he then pressed against her skin. Renata flinched at the contact of the coldness but she allowed it to stay on her skin until it started soothing the bump. "There we go!" the Doctor brought one of Renata's hand to keep the ice pack in place. "Leave that on for about 15 minutes and we're back in business!"

Renata looked at him with a growing smile until it became a small laugh. "Thank you, Doctor. How much do I owe you?"

"One dinner," he laughed with her.

"Right, I'll get on that then," she moved to get off the bed but he gently held her arm to keep her sitting.

"No, no, I meant have one dinner with me," he clarified and though Renata knew he meant just one of their regular dinners they had each night, she still blushed. "But I'm helping you make it," he warned. "After all, you've got an injured shoulder."

"Please," she scoffed. "I'm being a big baby, that's what. Thanks for sticking through, though."

"Always," he gave her another hug and after a few moments he told her they would never go back to that retreat again.

She didn't like bees, so he would make sure to keep them far away from her.

[elusive---ivory]

The Woman in Velvet pt. 6

Oh boy, here we are. It's continues a little from part 5, but otherwise yeah. Part 6, babyyy.

WARNINGS: None, just some overall fluff

PAIRINGS: Arthur Fleck x Oc

Masterlist

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Arthur watched as Sandy strutted out the subway doors. He watched her as she skipped across the pavement.

"Well? Are you coming?" She smiled, brightly.

Sandy grabbed Arthur's hand and pulled him out of the subway. Arthur laughed, but it wasn't painful, it was genuine. Sandy's eyes looked down to the ground.

"I like you, Arthur. You're a wonderful man." Sandy looked up at him, blissfully.

Arthur smiled, cupping Sandy's face. "I like you too. You're just as lovely." He gently kissed Sandy on her lips. She giggled, blushing at the kiss.

"You're the only one that's really nice to me." Arthur tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. His hot breath rested on her ear. He whispered. "I'd do anything for you Sandy... anything."

She shivered at his words. "Let's go, you've got your stand up tomorrow." Sandy grabbed his hand and continuing walking to their dingy apartment complex.

Arthur watch closely as Sandy left the elevator. He noticed her blowing a kiss at him through the elevator. He smiled, a blissful smile.

Arthur entered his apartment to find his mom on the sofa, watching Murray Franklin.

"Happy? Is that you?" She called.

"Yeah Ma. It's me." Arthur called back.

Arthur sat down on the couch with a silly smile on his face.

"Did you check the mail?" His mother would always write to Thomas Wayne, but Thomas would never write back. It's expected of the man, however, Penny, Arthur's mother, felt more entitled to a response, and would always write them, no matter how many she really wrote.

"No, mom. Nothing." Arthur lit a cigarette, still smiling.

"Why are you smiling like that?" His mother asked.

Arthur chuckled. " I like a girl, ma."

Penny's face darken. "A girl? What girl?"

Arthur's smile stayed painted on his face. "She lives upstairs." Arthur looked up at ceiling.

"That girl? Happy, she's bad news. No, I don't like her." Penny turned away from Arthur.

Arthur frowned. "But, I like her, mom."

Penny crossed her arms. "When you find out how terrible she really is, don't come crying to me because she ripped your heart out."

"Ma, she's not like that." Arthur narrowed his eyes and glared at Penny. "How could you say that about her?"

Penny sighed. "Happy, that girl is out to trick you. Just like those girls from when you were in high school, remember. She's gonna bully you senseless. I suggest that you-"

"Enough!" Arthur raised his voice. He gritted his crooked teeth, and took a long drag of his cigarette. "It's late and we need to sleep."

His mother stayed silent, nodding her head.

Sandy groaned at the clock ticked on her work desk. It was almost 5:00. Arther's stand up started at 6. Once the clock made its final tick, the clock chimed, ending the dreadful workday. She paced down the hall, nearly bursting out of the glass doors of the building.

"Woah, Sandy. You're really antsy to get out of here, huh?" One of her female coworkers commented.

"Yeah, I guess you can say that." Sandy joked, parting away from them, and started for the subway.

Arthur took deep breaths. His dreadful anxiety filled his brain with negative thoughts. His nerves were pulsating faster and faster.

'This is it,' he thought. He held tightly onto his joke book.

"Our next comic describes himself as a Gotham resident that was put here to spread joy and laughter in this cold, dark world."

That was his cue. Arthur walked up onstage. The florescent spotlights shined on Arthur. He was the center of attention. Everyone in the club stared at Arthur.

Soon, the laughter started. Arthur tried his best to suppress it, but it kept coming up.

Sandy had arrived late, so she found herself a spot in the back. The minute she saw Arthur onstage, he went into a laughing fit.

'Oh, no, Artie.' Sandy thought, but she locked eyes with Arthur.

Arthur looked around the club for Sandy. His laughter kept creeping up. Once he saw Sandy's sweet smile in the very back row, his laughter subsided.

Most of the club had already gotten up and left. Sandy smiled, laughing at all the jokes he had. She was completely fixated on him. At the very end, Sandy run up onstage and kissed him, tenderly.

The two walked alongside each other outside on the glistening pavement. Neon signs were reflecting on small dirty puddles. Sandy's heels clicked as she tried to keep up to speed with Arthur.

"You did a great job, Artie." Sandy said, with her hands in her jacket pockets. "I'm so proud of you." She leaned over and gently kissed his cheek.

Arthur smiled, placing a hand on his cheek. "You really think I did good." Arthur sounded unsure.

"Of course I do. You're the funniest guy in Gotham." Sandy gently tangled his hand in hers.

"Thank you, Sandy." Arthur said, softly holding her close.

"No problem, baby boy." Sandy ruffled his hair a little.

They crossed the street to a small diner. It seemed a little busy, however, it wasn't as busy as most of the restaurants were at this time of night.

They sat down in a small booth between the window, and the neon sign.

"So, why can't orphans play baseball?" Arthur jokingly asked, as he sipped on his coffee.

Sandy chuckled while playing with a piece of paper. "I don't know, Arthur. Why can't they play baseball?"

"They don't know where home is." Arthur smiled widely, paying close attention to Sandy's reaction.

Sandy let out an ugly snort. She roared with laughter as she threw the piece of paper at him. "That's so awful." Sandy cried laughing.

Arthur laughed along with her, following it was his demented cackle. Arthur took the paper Sandy threw at him and wrote something.

Sandy leaned over to see what he was writing, but he kept it secret. Sandy pouted.

"Whatcha writing?" She asked, being noisy.

"Something funny." Arthur mumbled, focusing on the paper. When he was done, it was a crudely written poem that could be barely comprehensible. Sandy took a good long look at it, pushing up her glasses so she could see it clearly.

Mz. Sandy.

Your smile is so dandy

And your laught is so thotful

[Illegible]

Your hart isaa mess

But, I couldn't love LIKE you less.

-Arthur Fleck.

When Sandy was done reading the poem, she was left speechless.

Arthur shifted shyly in his seat. "Heh, yeah. I wanted, um, show my gratitude."

Sandy smiled widely. "I absolutely adore it, Art." She leaned forward and gave Arthur a peck on the nose.

Arthur shrugged, paying for his and Sandy's one coffee.

As they walked out of the diner, a certain poster caught Arthur's eye.

Kill The Rich

Arthur made a face at it. Sandy giggled.

"Can you believe it?" Sandy said, serious. She snickered. "I find it funny. One of these days, Gotham's gonna burn." Sandy paused for a second. "And it's gonna be great."

Arthur turned to her, smirking. "Yeah." He looked down at the curb.

"Hey, Sandy." Arthur called.

"Yeah?" She replied.

"Do you think I'm a monster?" Arthur held onto a worry. He worried that Sandy would find out. He worried about her leaving him. Arthur couldn't handle the burden of being without her. She was almost like a mother figure. He couldn't have that be taken away from him.

Sandy scoffed. "Of course not, Art. If you were a monster, I wouldn't be with you. Those guys are the real monsters. Trust me. I knew on of them. Dennis Cullen. He just so happened to be one of the victims. Dennis would try all his advances to try and date me. He just wouldn't take no for a answer. So, when I made my no final, he bullied me and harrass me. He would tell me that no one would ever date me. Sometimes it felt like entire office would join in on it too." Sandy took a deep breath.

"What I'm saying is that I've seen monsters, and Arthur, you're far from being a monster." She wiped her face with a tissue, trying not to smudge her mascara.

Arthur pulled Sandy into a tight hug, leaning into the crook of her neck.

"Here have a cigarette." Sandy placed the cigarette in his mouth and lit it.

"Thanks." Arthur took a long drag of the cigarette, letting all the tension leaving his shoulders.

"Come on, Artie. Let's go home." Sandy gently held Arthur's hand as they walked.

[byakushisakura-writing]

Thank You~Chapter 1

(Prologue)

Peacemaker Kurogane

Soji Okita, Isami Kondo, Toshizo Hijikata, oc

2,526 words

Since his parents died when he was a child Soji has been raised by Kondo Isami, and although he was never considered an outcast the young male had always felt different. With the help of his adoptive father and a new friend he finally starts to fit in and feel normal.

Soji was by no means unpopular, he was well liked by most people and had plenty of friends, but this didn’t mean he was any less lonely. Everyday he felt that he was acting as someone else, wearing a fake smile just to make others happy, not wanting them to know his true self, scared that everyone would leave if he let the façade fade away.

As high school neared its end his fears came true, everyone was going somewhere different, some left for college, some traveled to find work, and Soji was left alone to start all over. He knew that it had nothing to do with him but deep down he couldn’t help but think that everyone else had also been faking it.

He strengthened the barriers he put up around himself, Careful not to let even the smallest thing show through. He tried to focus on his studies and on work to distract himself from any negative thoughts but it was nearly impossible to keep them at bay.

Soji soon stopped going out as often and didn’t even try to make new friends as he spent all his free time in his room.

It was Sojis 19th birthday and his guardian, the man who had raised him since he was 9, wanted to do something special. Soji wasn’t in the mood to go anywhere but played along and let Kondō drive him, not telling the young male where they were going until they pulled up to a club.

Soji frowned in confusion until they entered and sat down, his eyes were instantly glued to the stage and for the first time he didn’t feel so alone. There were people like him, men who wanted to wear dresses, it wasn’t just something that he had made up for himself.

Kondo smiled as he saw how Soji was so fixated to the performers the entire time and after it finished he bombarded his guardian with questions.

"Those were all guys? They look so pretty." He said, the barriers he had spent so long putting up were slowly fading as he let the other see his true passion for the first time in his memory.

Kondo smiled and pat the boys head. "There's someone I'd like you to meet." He said before flagging down someone Soji remembered seeing when they entered the club. He was tall and stout with long dark hair and wore a frilly dress. “Soji, this is Koko.” He barely got to finish when the other squealed with excitement.

"So this Soji!" He said as he looked at the teen. "You're a lot cuter in person'" He cooed.  

Soji blushed at the compliment "What do you mean?"

Koko giggled softly. “Your father and I have been corresponding for a few months now and he sent me your picture," He told him. "Oh! That reminds me today’s your birthday.”

Soji nodded, causing the other to squeal once more.

"Come, come darling. " He said as he pulled the other to his feet. “We’ve prepared a little surprise for you.”

Soji found himself being practically dragged to the back room. "You're father told me you've been working on something. " He said as he looked through the dresses. "Strip!!"

Soji blushed and removed his clothing before a dress was thrown over his thin frame. He was confused at what was happening.

‘What does he mean that I’m working on something?’ He asked himself. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He stuttered slightly, clearly confused. “Do you mean the dance?”

“Of course that’s what I mean.”

Over the next half hour Soji found himself not only being dressed but also having his hair and makeup done. When he was finally finished he looked in a mirror and smiled shyly. It was the first time he’d actually dressed up properly, and he loved it, for once he didn’t turn away from the mirror right away.

A few minutes later he was being pushed onto the stage as he heard someone announce him and his eyes grew wide. Was he going to have to perform? He’d never imagined dancing in front of anybody, especially not a room full of strangers while wearing a dress.

Soji looked back as Koko gave him a thumbs up and the teen swallowed hard before slowly walking onto the stage. He was terrified and trembled as he stood on the stage. What if he tripped? What if they laughed and made fun of him?

He heard the music playing but found himself unable to move, he was tempted to just turn around and run. Spotting Kondō in the audience helped to relax and he focused on him as he took another deep breath before closing his eyes.

He focused on the music and his body as he opened his eyes, imagining that he was practicing alone in his room like he had done so many times before. When it was over the crowd came into focus once more. He smiled sheepishly as a light blush dusted his cheeks and was surprised when everyone stood up and clapped.

Soji beamed and bowed awkwardly before running back stage to hug Koko "Thank you.”

The elder laughed and shook his head. As he ruffled the teens hair: "Go thank your father, he set all this up.”

Soji looked up at him with his eyes wide "Kondo-san did?"

Koko nodded and Soji hurried back to his guardian and hugged him tightly. "thank you, this is the best present ever." He mumbled into his chest.

Kondo laughed and pat the boys head "I’m glad you like it."

After getting changed and taking his makeup off Soji went to return the dress to Koko.

“Keep it, as a birthday present from me." He told him "But on one condition.”

"What is it?"

"You have to come perform for us again.”

Soji laughed and nodded. “It’s a deal.” He said before hugging him once more.

Koko kissed the teens cheek before pulling away and handing him a small piece of paper. “This is my number.” He told him. "Don't be afraid to call it you ever need something, okay?"

Soji nodded and bowed before returning to Kondō as they left the club.

“Kondo-san? How did you know I would like that?” Soji asked during the, car ride home as he held his new dress close, positive that he had been so careful to hide anything remotely feminine.

Kondō smiled and reached over to ruffle the teens hair. "I’ve known since You were a kid, the way you used to play dress up and dance around the house.” He told him.

Soji blushed slightly. "I don't remember that..."

From then on Soji started performing at the club whenever he could, it became the first place he felt that could just be himself without worrying about what others thought.

He performed there at least a couple times a week, more if his schedule allowed it.

On the days he wasn’t performing Soji could often be found helping out at Kokos shop. It was an old run down building from the outside but once you entered it seemed to get a new life. There was anything a drag queen or king could need to get started, all of which had been donated. To one side there was a small sitting area where people could make a warm drink and just hang out. No one there was ever judged, and Soji loved it.

Not long after the new year Sojis already fragile health took a turn for the worst. But It didn't stop him from performing, at least not yet.

He slowly staggered his performances, making them farther apart until he would go an entire month without performing at all.

"Are you sure you’re okay, Soji?" Koko asked as he helped the male prepare for a show at the beginning of April. "You look quite pale, and you’ve lost weight." He said worriedly.

"Don’t worry, I’ll be fine." He assured him with a forced smile before heading onto the stage. He had started to feel dizzy but held onto the wall as he took a few deep breaths.

When he didn’t come onto the stage after his name had been called a couple times Koko hurried back stage only to find the younger male on his knees as he coughed.

Koko sighed as he knelt beside Soji and gently rubbed his back, his eyes growing wide in fear as he saw the red specks on the others hand. “Soji…” He said worriedly before calling for someone to get Kondō.

Kondō ran to join them and cursed under his breath as he held a bottle of water to the others lips. When the coughing finally stopped Soji collapsed against his guardian and trembled.

Kondō’s eyes softened and he wrapped his jacket around the others shoulders. “Let’s get you home.” He said as he picked up the other and carried him outside.

Soji shivered in his guardians arms before feeling himself being laid across the back seat of the car. "Just get some rest ,Soji." The elder male said gently as he covered the teen with a blanket and carefully drove him home.

Soji slept until the next afternoon and looked around, frowning when he saw Kondo asleep on the chair beside his bed. "Kondo-san?" He asked weakly as he reached over to hold his hand.

The elder man woke up and smiled softly. "Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked as he stroked the others cheek.

Soji shrugged and slowly pushed himself up. "Okay I guess." He said before looking at the other. "Have you been here the whole time? You should have gone to your own bed." He attempted to scold him.

Kondo chuckled as he helped the other to sit before propping him up with some pillows. "I'm fine, I needed to make sure that you were okay." He said as he got a damp cloth and wiped some sweat from the boys face. "You gave us quite a scare yesterday." He continued.

Soji frowned slightly as he looked at his hands in his lap. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make anyone worry." He said as tears formed in his eyes.

Kondo sighed and sat on the bed beside his adopted son. "You don't have to apologize." He said as he held the other close. "We worry because we care."

Kondo smiled as he saw the younger male fall asleep against him and carefully laid him down before covering him up and going to call Koko.

When Koko saw the familiar number he frowned and answered with a sigh "How’s he doing?" The male asked hopefully.

"He's still not feeling well, I'm not sure when he'll be able to return." Came the reply. “He has an appointment tomorrow, I’ll call you with any news.”

"Thank you, tell him that everyone here misses him." Koko said before hanging up.

Kondō sighed and leaned against the doorframe as he looked at the young male who slept fretfully.

Walking over to his bed he sat on it and gently stroked his hair to calm him down.

They had already gotten a diagnosis but Kondō just couldn’t bring himself to tell the other, not until they knew for sure.

Koko would not learn the true nature of Sojis illness for quite a while but he still tried to visit at least a couple times a week. These visits always lifted Sojis mood, even when he was feeling his worst.

On the days he could sit up Koko would teach the teen different ways do his hair and makeup. When he was feeling weak they would just talk.

As Sojis condition worsened he would eat less, causing him to get thinner and weaker until he was barely able to stay awake for more than a couple hours at a time. Some days Koko would stay while the other slept and talked with his guardian, imagining that the elder man also needed some sort of distraction.

"Has he seen the doctor lately?" Koko asked as he served them some tea.

Kondo nodded and thanked him. "I took him a couple days ago because he wasn't drinking anything." He told the other as he stared into his cup of tea. "They gave him some stronger medicine, it seems to be working, for now, at least he's sleeping soundly."

Koko sat across from him. "If you don't mind me asking, what is it that he has?" He asked gently.

Kondo knew that this question was coming and he didn't look up at the other as he answered. "He has tuberculosis." He said simply, Koko went deathly quiet as he processed what he had just heard.

Koko continued to just stare at the other for a moment, he had paled at the news. "But that's curable, isn't it?"

Kondo nodded. "Most of the time, yes, and they're pretty sure we caught it in time." He told the other. "But it will be a long and painful recovery."

Koko nodded and placed his hand over Kondos, squeezing it gently to comfort him. "He is going to be fine, Soji is strong."

Kondo finally looked up and smiled wearily as he nodded. "Yeah, he is." He agreed, thankful for the others continued presence.

Things continued this way for nearly 4 months, the boy only seemed to be getting worse and almost everyone was about to give up on him when his fever finally started to subside. One day he slowly made his way downstairs to where Kondo was working, holding onto the wall for support as he approached the elder man.

Kondo looked up from his work when he heard the shuffling feet and quickly rushed to Sojis side before helping him to the couch. "You shouldn't be up, I thought I told you to text me if you needed anything." He scolded gently as he wrapped a blanket around him.

Soji chuckled weakly as the male fussed over him and leaned back against the couch. "I'm feeling better than I have in a while." He said before coughing into his cloth. "I just wanted to do something on my own.

Kondo smiled and pat the boys head affectionately. "But you still need rest, just relax and I'll get you something to eat. Since you're feeling better maybe we'll try some rice today?" He suggested before going into the kitchen.

Soji started to slowly recover as he tried to get back into some kind or routine, eating regularly, sleeping at the same time everyday, and eventually starting to help out with simple chores that didn't require much stamina.

Kokos visits still continued and now when Soji felt well enough they would work in the garden or somedays even bake. Despite their difference in age they had become fast friends, he was the first person other than Kondo that Soji felt completely comfortable around. As he got better he started to reveal things that he hadn't even told his guardian. He became bolder in his clothing choices everyday, fully embracing the feminine side that he had tried to keep hidden for so long.

[so-shiny-so-chrome]

Witness: Kalashnikorn

Creator name (AO3): Kalashnikorn

Creator name (Tumblr): Main-force-patrol

Link to creator works: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalashnikorn

Creator name (other platform- please specify): @Riccarterfans (twitter)

Q: Why the Mad Max Fandom?

A: My interest in Mad Max started early. I was maybe 12-14 when my mom picked it up on VHS at a garage sale because she had fond memories of the film when it came out (she saw it in theaters, which is rare for her). We’re both fond of cars and dystopian/apocalyptic stuff, so I easily connected with the movie and fell in love with WAY too many of the characters. So there was my weirdo self, in the early 2000s, loving MM1 but not really having a fandom to join. I had fun on my own, drawing stuff, making toys of the characters, writing doofy adolescent fanfic. You know, the works. But I did it in isolation, because I was a LONELY kid. Not just in terms of fandom, there were just never other kids around, or adults (other than my parents) around. Therefore, I spent most of my time online, and lost countless hours lurking on the MadMaxMovies.com forum. But I didn’t feel safe talking to people there, because the only other fans were guys my dad’s age. For years, if I had any kind of fandom-related wish that I’d give an arm to fulfill, it was that other girls and queer folks would embrace the MM series so I could finally share my excitement with people that would “get” me. Fast forward to 2015. Fury Road fulfilled that wish. I knew tumblr was my best chance at getting those friends I’d wanted for so long. It’s better than I’d ever dreamed. Mad Max Fandom, I love you! Special shoutout to @d--t, @crunkmouse, @sillyb0yblue, @sleepymayo, @lethalpr0tector, @legendofstraydog, @partyinvalhalla and @vanessa-geraldine-carlysle! 

Q: What do you think are some defining aspects of your work? Do you have a style? Recurrent themes?

A: I love to write first-person fic that delves into the darker aspects of the human psyche. How do we justify killing others? What impact does a hypermasculine culture have upon a man with depression and anxiety? Is violence really the key to surviving the apocalypse? I also enjoy writing about people seeking control or freedom, and wrestling with that they believe they need to do to achieve that. 

Q: What (if any) music do you listen to for help getting those creative juices flowing?

A: Since I do first person, I like something to get me into the head of the character I’m writing, so I make playlists for certain characters. 99% of the time, anymore, I’m writing as Roop, so on his playlist I’ve got a bunch of stuff quasi-hipster stuff that touches upon themes of isolation, anger, violence, and feelings of helplessness. There’s a bunch of indie rock, some seventies stuff, and A LOT OF PINK FLOYD. Oh, and there’s some Aussie rock in there too, of course. 

Q: What is your biggest challenge as a creator?

A: Finding the time to write! 

Q: Which character do you relate to the most, and how does that affect your approach to that character? Is someone else your favourite to portray? How has your understanding of these characters grown through portraying them?

A: Roop… And Roop.  And my understanding of him has absolutely grown through portraying him. He’s a character that’s in MM1 for like.. Ten minutes? And after the opening chase scene, he hardly has any lines. But Steve Millichamp does an excellent job portraying him with his posture, body language, etc. So I gleaned ideas from his non-verbal performance. Honestly, if you look at the number of times he makes a mopey face, it’s astounding. Other times, he looks at Fifi for guidance, the way a kid looks at a parent or teacher. He doesn’t seem to have any friends at work, partially due to his own personality. I could go on for hours. From all that, I extrapolated that he’s basically caught between childhood and adulthood, and he’s trying to sort out what it means to be a good cop and a good person. Sometimes those things aren’t congruent, and it tears him up because he’s a very type A, hardworking perfectionist. Growing up, he was told that he was gifted, smart, etc., and he feels like an imposter because he fixates on his shortcomings and mistakes. And when trying to live up to this impossibly high standard, he puts a lot of pressure on himself and struggles when he has to surrender or when he fails. There’s a ton more, but those are the highlights. The vast majority my MM/Roop fic stays offline. Pretty much all of it is irrelevant to the rest of the Mad Max universe, so there’s no point in posting it. It’s taken on a life of its own. Of course, some people have let me know that they dislike or disagree with my characterization of Roop. That’s fine. Nobody’s forcing them to read my fic.

Q: Do you ever self-insert, even accidentally?

A: Oh hell yes. And I’m completely shameless about it, because I don’t think the practice should be taboo or frowned upon. We wouldn’t shame an actor who tapped their lived experience to bring authenticity to a role, would we?  I think we should extend the same understanding to writers. Aside from being a great way to understand more about our selves, enjoy an escapist fantasy, or work through trauma, I think self-insertion can be a great way to evoke emotional authenticity in a story.

Q: Do you have any favourite relationships to portray? What interests you about them?

A: I pretty much stick to what I consider my strength, which is genfic. So I mostly stick to portraying platonic interactions, both friendly and unfriendly. I particularly like exploring how Roop interacts with/judges his co-workers. I’m also fond of writing about good moms who love and encourage their kids. Sometimes the mom is the viewpoint character, sometimes it’s the kid. Regardless, I like looking at how parental relationships can shape a person’s worldview.

Q: How does your work for the fandom change how you look at the source material?

A: My work makes me hyper-analyze MM1 and its novelization. I mostly write MM1 fic because I feel like we could have gotten a lot more mileage out of exploring MM1’s world, before society fully broke down and became the more fantastical wasteland we know and love in MM2, MM3, and MMFR. As much as I like the later worldbuilding stuff, I can really appreciate watching a civilization crumble in a grounded, slow-burning manner. 

Q: To break or not to break canon? Why?

A: Depends on what you mean by “break.” I think a lot purists would say that I break canon, so I’ll put it this way: I like to write stories where I add to canon without directly contradicting it. We’re never shown Roop’s home life, for instance. It’s free real estate! I do this because I just want MORE MM1. More Roop, more MFP, more Armalites, all of it. I don’t feel the need to change anything, just add more volume to it. That said, I love it when others break canon! I have a ton of fun reading AUs and alternate scenes. 

Q: Share some headcanons

A: GRAB A SEAT AND PUT YOUR SITTIN’ PANTS ON. Here we go: In addition to recruiting local police officers and other traditional recruiting strategies, the MFP uses conscription to fill out its ranks. Roop is one such draftee. Roop doesn’t spend any time with Charlie outside of work. He really just tries to minimize contact with the guy. If we do all my Roop headcanons, we’ll be here until the Miller completes MM5. Charlie wanted to go seminary school and become a priest, but was drafted. Losing his voice pretty much killed his dream of preaching. Fifi takes an interest in his men, but only so he can better manipulate them into staying/reenlisting. Bubba was a former MFP officer who went rogue once budget cuts and bureaucratic decisions made law enforcement abandon his rural hometown.

Q: Who are some works by other creators inside and outside of the fandom that have influenced your work?Inside the fandom, the old RP crowd and I bounced a lot of ideas off each other, and interacting with their muses helped Roop’s story grow by leaps and bounds (finger guns at @d--t’s OC, Renholder, @vanessa-geraldine-carlysle’s portrayal of Charlie, and @legendofstraydog’s OC, Syrup!) Outside the fandom, my biggest influences are Kurt Vonnegut, J.D. Salinger, Quentin Tarantino, the Coen Brothers, and Sam Esmail.

Q: Have you visited or do you plan to visit Australia, Wasteland Weekend, or other Mad Max place?

A: Not yet, but I'd love to go someday!

Q: Tell us about a current WIP or planned project

A: “Autotomy” is my big current WIP. It’s 7 chapters into its 9 or 10 chapter run (I’ve literally got chapter 8 open in another window as I’m writing this). It follows Roop immediately after MM1 ends. He sees the aftermath of Max’s rampage, and begins to question his own ideals. Then his morals are put to the test when an unexpected guest arrives at his home. The word “autotomy” describes cutting off a part of oneself to escape a greater threat. Think of a lizard that sheds its trapped tail to avoid being eaten. I’m using it in the literal and metaphorical sense. At the end of MM1, we see someone have to make a literal life-or-limb decision. And in this story, Roop has to decide whether or not to cut off the toxic ideology that has guided his actions.

Thank you @main-force-patrol @richardcarterfans some of your tags got lost in reformatting.  You may want to retag your peeps