#there were so many that just got abandoned cause my brain does not want the pairings anymore

[pxper-riings]

.

[idakyrie]

(This is part of an AU and a LOT OF TEXT asdfg) WHAT IF.... That weird deformed shape of Fake Peppino (AKA Bruno) is actually that way because of a brain problem (known as TBI)? That would explain that peculiar way of behaving (Silly? Goofy? Childish? Doesn't think straight? Doesn't know what he's doing? Almost 0 common sense, that almost permanent expression on his face, that strange way of moving... He is doing his best to stay on his feet and not melt completely (even if it shows a bit), he can barely speak coherently, among many things (WE MUST PROTECT HIM).

I'd like to think that the brain is the only organ he has, because the rest is just... Mmh, slime? amalgam? xD, it could be a HUMAN brain that Pizzahead (his creator) got (I like to think he is actually someone insane in a bad way and too different when it comes to his lab, just pretending to smile, hints of psychopath), that brain belonged to another chef, here I clarify about getting 2 adns: Peppino and Bruno (this last I mean the one from the abandoned pizzeria and yes, he is dead, where the hell Pizzahead was going to get that brain from? Actually dead for trusting a humanoid pizza)

So Fake Peppino has 2 adns? Yeah, that makes sense... Although Peppino and him don't look quite the same (Although Pizzahead's goal was that, to be the perfect impersonator), except for the clothes BUT here comes my favorite part, his stable form. 

Actually, his brain problem can be treated, he would still have 2 forms: stable and unstable, this unstable form is the one we all know, it would be present whenever he feels threatened, in danger or any other negative emotion (although he can take any form whenever he wants and be a mix of both forms).

Some history: Bruno is the first "clone" to be created, it went well, everything was perfect and one more minion... UNTIL... Pizzahead has a complicated, abusive, stupid, manipulative and ignorant attitude, basically he never treated him well, it started with scolding and even abuse (And yup! it was Pizzahead himself who caused him great injury) Why? He is a demanding and perfectionist guy, the clone had to come out EQUAL to Peppino (the irony is that he hates him and only does it to fuck up his life, to be able to replace him with some of the SO MANY clones out there) at the time he thought it was a GOOD IDEA to mix both adns and come out the same as the original, I repeat that this guy is an idiot?

Something funny is that after that he made other prototypes of clones (Classified as second generation idk) but these... None came out well, they are aberrations and can be found in a frozen chamber, he doesn't want to relive that moment and kept trying until he finally succeeded, the famous Peppino clones that can be found everywhere in the lab, inferior versions, weaker and more animal behavior than the first "clone".

Here comes another problem, Pizzahead paid more attention and was nicer to those clones, making Bruno jealous and annoyed, he never received a good treatment from him (Still he was loyal) and he had to fix and clean up all the atrocities the clones did, that means ALL the time, he could not defend himself and lived in silence, developing a great hatred towards them, precisely his behavior changes drastically to the most aggressive, just hearing a "croak" makes him angry (MODO BERSEK GOES BRR)

Many years enduring physical and emotional pain until he ends up in what? In an abandoned pizza restaurant? Just him being abandoned being very bad in all aspects? Completely alone for years, the only contact he had with others were those clones that invaded his "new home" (explaining why there are so many peppino corpses in that pizzeria).

(that girl in the image is an oc of mine hshs)

Bruno still has that silly and innocent personality, sensitive but at the same time disturbing if something bothers him. Paternal sense, playful and a big fan of Peppino, sometimes he annoys him by imitating him HAHA. Does he keep that frog behavior? YES! It's not as obvious as the clones because he knows how to control it. 

At the beginning he doesn't like to be touched, after all the problems he went through he doesn't even know if there are good people in this world, so gaining Bruno's trust is a bit complicated but if you talk nice to him (as you would do with your pet XD) the interaction will be effective. 

Does he have traumas? Besides he doesn't want to see Pizzahead and the clones again, or there will be a massacre, it's the first time someone is nice to him, he's afraid of abandonment and losing the little progress he has made... AND NEVER EVER SEE OR HEAR ANYTHING RELATED TO ANY LABORATORY AGAIN, his life was hell there, anything related either scares or angers him.

If you have any questions, you can ask and also, sorry if there are errors in my English, it is not my native language, I hope you can understand ;w;

[via-the-cryptid]

one of you, I don’t remember who but if it was you then here you go, mentioned Ellie befriending Ace. it took me a minute to realise that you probably meant the psychic little girl and not the pirate, but… now that I think about it, that’s actually a really good idea.

first off, I’m going to start by saying that I barely remember anything about Ace except hat she was super psychic, scared the Joker shitless once (good for her), and I think ended up dying as a result of her powers overloading her brain. I also remember Batman stayed with her until she died, but past that, nothing! so if my interpretation of her is off, well, that ain’t Via’s problem.

picture this: Ellie, approximately 14 in physical terms, only been alive for like a year or two. it’s post-Portal Incident II: The Reckoning, so her body is stabilized but her powers are going bat-crazy. she’s alone in an unfamiliar city with far too many restless spirits, being chased by actual supervillains, and she’s scared. maybe she ducks into an alley or hides in an abandoned building, and maybe one of those spirits was watching.

it’s been a long time since anything has caught Ace’s attention in the mortal realm. she likes to check in from time to time, see what’s happening as the world moves on without her, but it’s useless to linger over what she can’t affect. in the end, it only ever makes her miserable.

but sometimes, she can’t help but watch. sometimes, like today, she sees another little girl in trouble. she thinks, ‘she’s like me’, and she needs to know that this girl makes it through the night. even if she doesn’t, Ace still has enough power in death to show her a good dream before another ghost is added to Gotham’s countless number of lost souls. she follows the girl into the building, watches as she curls up in the corner, out of sight and barely there.

and then she looks straight at Ace.

“Did you want something?” Ellie asks, and she doesn’t break eye contact with the spirit floating in the doorway, even as her eyes go wide. “If you have unfinished business, I might be able to help, y’know, so long as you’re not trying to cause trouble.”

“You can see me.”

“Sure can. Kinda hard not to, your outfit’s pretty distinct.”

It’s the outfit she died in. Ace doesn’t really want to wear it anymore, not when she’s so far removed from that era of her life, but it isn’t like she knows how to.

“So,” Ellie says, “what’s your deal? Are you just here to watch it are you picking a fight? ‘Cause I’ll warn you, I don’t know how to play poker and everyone else so far has refused to reach me.”

Ace blinks. “I’m not here to fight with you.”

“Okay, cool. Are you… here to fight someone else?”

“No. I was watching you.”

“Well, that’s a bit unsettling.”

“You were alone, and you looked cold. I had to make sure you weren’t going to die in here.”

“Again?” Mutters Ellie, and Ace’s expression snaps from intrigued to guarded in less than a second.

“What does that mean?” She asks, glaring right at Ellie, and the other girl grimaces.

“Did not mean to say that one out loud. Okay, so hi, I’m Ellie, and basically I’m dead—”

“What? No, you’re not. I would be able to tell if you were dead.”

“Half-dead, then. I was a clone OFA guy who was half human and half ghost, ‘cept I was falling apart, so I decided to fix it by doing the same thing he did to become half-ghost, and I ended up standing inside a portal to the Ghost Zone while it was opening. Make sense so far?”

Ace’s jaw is dropping, but she can’t seem to find it in herself to care. “Half-dead.”

“Oh, we’re still stuck on that, then. Basically, if you— actually never mind, I don’t really know how it works. I can turn from ghost to human, if that helps.”

“How?” Ace whispers. “You said you were… falling apart. And a clone. And half-dead.”

“Well, now I’ve got two out of those three, since I fixed the first problem. Do you want to maybe sit down or something? This is gonna be a long story if you want the whole thing.”

Yes, she absolutely does. Ace float across the room and settles in next to Ellie, folding her knees up to copy the other girl’s pose. “My name is Ace.”

“Nice to meet you, Ace. I’m Ellie. Wait, I think I said that already.”

Somewhere on the other side of Crime Alley, unknowing of the two girls hidden away in a long-forgotten corner, Edward Nygma slams his head down on the desk as he once again fails to pinpoint the location of the mysterious white-haired girl.

[tamayakii]

Simonrileyscockring aka Maxim is a liar and claims frogchiro stole their ideas. Here's proof he lied.

@simonrileyscockring Now since you dont wanna acknowledge me or my post calling you out, i decided to make it its own post so more people can see it. I don't like liars. i don't like virtue signalers "dni proshippers" we interacted tons of times, i sent you asks, my own art, we talked in dms, i even checked on you when i worried about you and now you're worried about "proshippers" and realize the term i identify with, which means "anti-harassment, respecting peoples fictional preferences" and not whatever tiktok-brained bullshit you think it is? So convenient you say that AFTER i send you an ask asking if you were gonna acknowledge what the hell you did. edits: the only edits i did was "@/" Konigsblog cause they said they apologized and acknowledged what they did, whether or not the apology is accepted is not up to me.

original call out below: you absolute dunce. i LOVED your writing before but the drama on your page, responding to hate anons rather than just deleting their asks drove me off. I have so many words for you

EVERYONE can see your personal posts, they just don't LIKE them cause who the fuck wants to like a post that's a vent post? it feels wrong, people see it and choose not to react, people see you vagueing about someone stealing "your" concepts (which theyve written BEFORE cod fandom erupted on tumblr and aka before YOUR popularity) they'll want to know  cause stealing writing is very serious!! but oh wait!!! they didn't steal shit!!! They never wrote about a teenager, which btw when you say all this shit and show no proof it fucking sucks!! cause people are so tiktok-brained that they will believe anything!

Because you decided to pull a fuckin mean girl move with @/konigsblog you ruined someone's love for writing and this fandom. "no one got harmed" my fucking ass. You as a writer should know that motivation comes and goes, and that hyperfixtations can be the closest thing to people. So rather than acting like a fucking man, you vague and claim they wrote about a minor as well, btw heres the teenager you claim is well, a teenager

Scaramouche is a puppet made by Raiden Ei, over 500 years ago to the current time in genshin impact. When Raiden Ei's sister had passed and she wanted to make a puppet to be the archon but she left him in a slumbering state, free from her own control cause he came to life crying which puppets aren't supposed to do. He woke up and thought she abandoned him, then OVER 5 HUNDRED YEARS AND THREE BETRYALS LATER. The fandom baby-fies him admittedly, but he's not obsessed with his mother nor does he have a teenager mentality. He's a bitter and aloof character, only getting mad when his creation or betrayals are brought up,



"a teenager physqiue" Okay lets challenge that, In the game this model is called Short_Male, it been used for Cyno, Tighnari, Kazuha, Xiao, Albedo, Mika, Chongyun, Bennet, Xingqiu, Heizou, Gorou, Venti, Razor, and even the male traveller.(I'm gonna use basic terms since you obviously never played the game if you think he's child like) Cyno is basically an officer in the game for the Akademiya, aka an adult. Tighnari is basically like a forest ranger, an adult. Kazuha sails around the sea while being a poet AND a sword expert because of his family line, becoming an expert swordsman takes YEARS even in real life, he's an adult. Xiao is over 5,000 years old and a "deputy" for an Archon. Albedo is a synthetic experiment human made 500 years ago from the current timeline in the game. Heizou is also a cop, an adult. Gorou is a fucking ADMIRAL, an adult. VENTI is literally over 2k years old. an adult. The traveller is AT LEAST over a thousand years old, cause the traveller that you choose slumbers for 500 years.

The rest are hinted to be late teenagers or early twenties depending on who you ask.

I even took pictures of these models in-game compared to a Tall_Male model!

Here's scaramouche, compared to Diluc and Tighnari! who aren't children! Now let's see an actual model of CONFIRMED children, why don't we?

here we have klee, who despite being something like 50 or 75 years old, is still mentally a child!! So she has the child model since she is still physically growing up, unlike Scaramouche AND Albedo.

Scaramouche isn't a child. he doesn't have child-like features. He's not obsessed with his mother, cause he does not have one cause motherfucker is a 500-year-old puppet, he's mentally an adult, physically an adult that was prepared for archon duties.

Sorry, i droned on about this for so long but i just fuckkking hate it when people are wrong. So blindly like you are,

here's proof that you said that, incase you go on a deleting frenzy.

Now let's talk about the point system, point systems are so widespread in real life and in fiction, even i used a point system once before. So to see it, in a COMPETITION(cause they are in the pervy AU) between men isn't weird to see. If you genuinely had a problem with this, Kin would've LOVED to talk it out with you as they're lovely and understanding human being.

the stray cat au? i even remember reading about it on both of your blogs but heres the thing.... the last time they wrote about it was in October.. of last year.

i had to search your blog just in case i was wrong in thinking they wrote it before you did.

as you can see, this is march of this YEAR. checking your archive, you made your blog back in February of this year. To claim they stole your concept of stray cat is beyond fucking insane, as well as bringing up the post with scaramouche in it cause.. that was over at least 10 months ago, cause Kin had went on a hiatus when December came around and came back with a COD hyperfixtation.

Onto the stealing the hubull concept! Searching their blog I can't find any evidence of them even writing a bull-like idea, at all. So you seemed to pull that one straight out of your ass.

So let's go over this real quick! one more time for the people in the back!!!

@simonrileyscockring made a post vagueing that someone stole their concepts and ideas, @/konigsblog replies below asking, hey who is it? maxim responds saying its @frogchiro and claiming that they wrote about a teenager and stole their point system for an au. Publicly. Instead of going to Frogchiro and trying to work it out, like a 23-year-old should. You keep drilling on about it, claiming that people trying to defend them are being your entertainment now

sure some people shouldn't have come in attacking you, i won't defend people who throw cruel words at you. You can claim this to be an attack but all i'm doing is calling you out, cause as you claim "it doesn't affect the way you live your life" you let it go and ruin someone else's way of life, destroying their love for fandom and writing. As a writer yourself that ive SEEN struggle with motivation AND hate anons, you of ALL people should fucking understand that getting your love for writing ruined is a terrible thing to happen especially when its an outlet for stress.

"i wanna talk shit in peace, not have my shit gossiped about." .. that is noooot how the internet works OR how shit-talking works, as the biggest shit-talker in MY family, i understand that when i talk shit, there's another person behind me talking shit. When YOU post vagueing about someone, and then continue talking about them, people will gossip about you. End of story. You should've blocked them in the first place, you also should've messaged Kongisblog PRIVATELY if you really wanted to avoid all of them. The only screenshots that i know that kin was sent, were you confirming that they "stole" your ideas and that they wrote about a teenager. How can they refute your claims without knowing what your claims are. They had to defend themselves from people in their inbox.

So, really in the end here, you fucked up. As a previous fan of your im highly disappointed in you but seeing how you act i doubt that will affect you, i make this post-DEFENDING frogchiro from pointless claims, AND in hopes that anyone who wants to follow you. Will find this post cause you are a fucking asshole to the core. Step back and realize that while it may not affect you, your actions affect others.

[cornunut]

Surprising no one, I am going to ask about The Lads™ for the send a character meme

(d twins + rogier pls ty)

holds them out to you (also this got kind of long sorry in advance)

darian:

First impression

how does he fight with that fuckass armour. is he religious he looks religious can i get some guilt. can he kiss my tarnished.

Impression now

i need to do this to him.

Favorite moment

I CAN'T DECIDE DKFJGHDKFJHG he has so many little bits of dialogue that i love. "don't you dare. unless you want to die like a dog?" "just as long as he doesn't starve to death, eh." "another fool who won't listen to reason, eh?" i want to chew on him. but i really like how you can summon him for both the liurnia mariner and the black knife further north! it makes it feel like i'm dragging him along on my littol journey for a bit. gives him some enrichment lets him touch grass

Idea for a story

ah... i have a few wips regarding him and my tarnished, but one thing i really want to write is how they meet because lucio actually knows him before the proper run of the game! i just need to... yknow... actually figure out How they meet and need to write it DKFGHKJDFGH

Unpopular opinion

he's not a heartless asshole... seriously his first introduction in summonwater shows how compassionate he is with mourning this corpse that he's never met and he's very friendly towards the tarnished if they work with gurranq. he's a good person!

Favorite relationship

d & rogier... romantic or not, i need to know more about them.... how they met, how they fell apart, their interactions during the game... ough

Favorite headcanon

i like to think that he and devin were either killed by one of their parents when they were children or abandoned and died to the elements b/c of the whole cursed twin thing, then reborn as tarnished and taken in by gurranq who raised them. in either situation i feel like devin died first and that's one of the reasons why darian's so protective of him.

devin:

First impression

hey why is his voice so hot. why does he sound so insane.

Impression now

ouuuuugh my little meow meow who has so many problems

Favorite moment

given that he has all of two scenes on screen i'm gonna go with him yapping over fia's body because every word of that speech is ingrained in my brain. smth smth "ROTTEN WHORE"

Idea for a story

i really want to explore either the aftermath of darian's death and how that affected him, or what happened immediately after he killed fia and dipped.

Unpopular opinion

he is entirely justified in his anger about fia killing his brother, actually! cannot believe that that's unpopular

Favorite relationship

with darian - i looove the whole fucked up twin sharing a soul intricate deep connection thing. it makes it hurt more when darian dies :)

Favorite headcanon

related to the previous point i like to think he felt nearly everything when darian was killed due to weird twin soul bond thing :))

rogier:

First impression

he looks wreckable. why must he die.

Impression now

he gives me such insane cute aggression but i also want to move him to a more comfy place in the roundtable hold than that chair on the balcony and tuck him in with a warm blanket.

Favorite moment

i love how sarcastic he gets after you tell him you can't see grace in stormveil KDJFGHKDJHFG he's so passive aggressive its so funny

Idea for a story

[insert rogier lives fic here] but also like what happened when the deathblight took his legs. how the hell did he get back to the roundtable hold.

Unpopular opinion

free my man from the archetype ppl want to shove him into (soft sweet wholesome boy who can do nothing wrong)

Favorite relationship

d & ro... like i was saying above i neeeeeeed to know more about them (luckily that's what fanfic is for)

Favorite headcanon

this is more of a tarnished hc tbh but i think lucio (my tarnished) would, assuming it wouldn't cause any pain to rogier, try and prune away the deathblight vines to try and make him more comfortable. he'd also bring rogier books that he found while exploring tlb. otherwise, for a more rogier-centric hc, i do subscribe to prisoner starting class rogi :)

[dirtytransmasc]

Just reading you about spider and agreeing he deserve better. Srsly my heartaches for him and everyone in the fandom painting him being a bad guy is too much like his gray character guys.

but what I notice from him he will never be truly accepted by the two species both humans and na'vi for the human's his to na'vi or (savage) and to the na'vi his the constantly reminder of what the human's did to their people and land and I cry for him for that. His just a kid who wants to be belonged and accepted but always getting rejected.

And what pisses me off is to those people who blamed spider for bringing the rda to the metkayina when in fact it was signal from norm and max got detected by the rda signal. And Jake also pissed me off saying that spider might betray them for telling where they are like sir that kid is literally a ride or die like did he ever think that the how dangerous humans are especially a military one those people will torture for info when like sir your was once a soldier you know how brutal they are? Did he not even think what will they do to spider a kid? Imagine if quaritch didn't step up that boy brain will melted off. So yes spider deserved better

spiders such a good kid, that like, yeah, by human nature he just wants to be accepted, but like, he so clearly tries to suppress it. like sure, he wears his hair like jake, paints blue stripes on himself, holds himself like they do, but we never see him actually try and force himself into their lives. he follows kiri and lo'ak around because they're his friends and they love him, but other then that, he tries to slink into the background and be useful. he doesn't want to be a burden, a reminder, one with the humans. he literally would do anything, sacrifice anything for the na'vi. he did one thing for himself (saving his father, who was one of the first, if not only adults to ever care about him in his entire life) after years of putting his wants and needs aside, and he gets absolutely shit on. like he's just a baby, who will never fit in anywhere, who "doesn't want" to fit in anywhere (cause 99% of humans suck and he doesn't want to hurt the na'vi anymore than he already does for existing.) and he's just hurting.

I think spider's gonna burn out by the end of these movies. not in the going villain or rouge sort of way, but I think we're definitely gonna see a breaking point where he's just done. cause it has to be so hard to keep going like that for years.

he's gotten kidnapped, tortured, dragged around by the rda, forced to watch brutal tulkun hunts and village raids, watched a sibling die to save him, gotten held at knife point by someone who should be like his mother, knowing she might kill him. he has given his all, and still just kept rolling with the punches like they didn't hurt. and still, everyone seems to expect the worst of him.

and that comment from jake, I took it two separate ways, but I guess they could both coexist;

he didn't trust spider to protect his family, despite the kids undying love and devotion for them, even after he was shown nothing but hate.

and/or

he knew they were going to break the poor kid and get what they wanted from him, no matter what it took.

I don't know which one makes me feel more sick. the thought that jake thought so lowly of spider, or the fact that he knowingly abandoned him to that fate. even if jake wasn't the kids guardian, he could have at least given enough of a shit to feign worrying about him, or mourning spider capture. I understand having to make harsh decisions like valuing the life of many over one (doesn't make it anymore palatable, but y'know, military politics) but like, he didn't give a single shit. that's what bothered me the most. they just forgot about the kid.

with what james cameron has said, I think things are going to start sorta looking up for our boy, but I don't have the most hope he's gonna get a truly 'happy' ending. I think so much damage has been done already, that spiders always gonna be that character that breaks my heart.

[raven0the0writer]

My friend and I were talking about what super power we would want and they said probability manipulation cause then you could technically have any power, just change the probability of you having that power to 100 and boom you got it. That sparked my brain and I decided to explore that a bit :3

TW: physical abuse, death, food-based trauma, bad foster system

Sometimes, a person is born, and no one knows. Sometimes a mother is on her own, and sometimes she dies. Sometimes, a baby is left somewhere no one could find them. After all, what are the chances that a random person would wander into a specific abandoned building in a specific town in a specific state at a specific time, just in time to save a child crying by his mother’s corpse? Usually, the chances would be pretty low. But sometimes, the stars align just right for a life to be saved. And if the baby had something to do with its miraculous rescue? Well, I guess no one would be the wiser. After all, who could guess a baby could change its fate?

5 years later

“Timothy! Wake up! It’s your first day of school!”

Those were the first words he heard on this fateful day. He hadn’t had the worst time so far, bouncing from home to home, but now there was a new element to the mix. He watches as the category “school” appears in his brain. Other people don’t talk about their categories, so neither does he. Maybe it’s just something people don’t mention. A five year old wouldn’t know the difference between a well known secret and an individualized experience, after all. He decides to look through the category while he readies himself, dressing in his favorite yellow t-shirt that’s a few sizes too big and his favorite shorts, worn from years of use and hanging off his bony hips with only a threadbare belt with a few extra holes to keep it up. In the category he finds many things he’s seen in other categories such as “make a friend” and “enjoy the morning/lunchtime/evening”, but there’s other options as well such as “bus crash” or “the teacher gets your name wrong”. All in all, he quite likes the probabilities for the day, as far as he can understand them, and decides to leave them as is.

School:

Make a friend: 72.6%

Enjoy the morning: 12.4%

Enjoy lunchtime: 50.2%

Enjoy evening: 04.2%

Be liked: 47.3%

Bus crash: 01.1%

Teacher gets your name wrong: 10.1%

There is an emergency: 00.1%

He knows there are other things that could happen, but those are the most likely, and the ones he most cares about. If he really tried he could see the probability of every little thing that could happen that day, he could also see the probabilities of things that could happen that week, or even that year, or even for his entire life. But that’s a bit overwhelming for a five year old to take in, so he likes to stick to the day. He used to change the probabilities all the time, before he realized that changing the probability of one thing always changed the probability of multiple things. When he was born, he only saw two probabilities:

You die: 99.9%

You live: 00.1%

He didn’t really understand what they meant, but due to the nature of his power he could get the gist. He changed his probability of living to 100%, and ever since, he tended to have lower probabilities for things that would help him survive. The first home he was placed in, the probability of having guardians that cared about him was lower than 50%, he decided to keep those odds and went to a house with a junkie who forgot to feed him most of the time and used all the stipends to buy more drugs. Every day there was a probability that someone would find out what was going on and move him to a new house. Every day that probability was in the 20s or lower. So he decided to take matters into his own hands for the first time since he was born. He changed it to 100%. That changed the probabilities around enough that someone came and robbed the house, found him half dead from starvation, and took him to the closest orphanage where they just barely managed to bring him back to a healthy state. That was a scary time. Every day there had been a probability of whether he lived another day. Every day he moved it so it would be above 80. That was when he learned he didn’t need it to be 100 for something as ambiguous as whether he would survive. After all, the definition of survive has quite a bit of leeway and covers a lot of ground. You can survive on no sleep for weeks. You can survive with no food for months. You can even survive your heart stopping if it gets back going fast enough. Eventually he was placed with another family. Then another, and another. Until now, he is with his fifth family and he’s considering changing the probabilities to be able to leave them. They’re better than most families he’s been with. They leave him to fend for himself most days, scrounging whatever food he can from the kitchen, putting himself to bed, finding ways to entertain himself. He’s even able to look at the probabilities for ideas of what to do for fun, even see the probabilities of what will bring him joy to do.

Today though, he’s going to kindergarten. He’ll ride the bus for the first time. He’s not entirely sure where the bus stop is, and he doesn’t expect his guardian to show him, so he’ll just check the probabilities. See which street has a higher chance of him making it to the bus stop on time until eventually he gets there. As he’s checking his possible routes, he starts getting his lunch ready and packing his rugged blue backpack with a missing strap.

All packed up and with his chosen route in mind, he starts off towards the bus. Eventually he reaches a place where everywhere he looks the probability of him reaching the bus on time is lower than right where he is, so he figures he must be at the bus stop. Sure enough, the bus soon comes and he gets on. The ride to school is pretty uneventful, there was a time that a car ignored a red light and almost rammed the bus, but they hadn’t started moving soon enough for that to happen. Now the probability of getting in an accident was 00.0%. One disaster avoided, pretty good day so far.

He gets to school and finds his classroom without much trouble, watching the probabilities to find it. One downside of his power is that there is nothing to show what can naturally cause a probability to change, however he can make an educated guess. With that in mind, he immediately goes to introduce himself to his teacher and introduces himself as Tim. That is his least hated version of his name, as he is not overly fond of his name in general. The probability of the teacher getting his name wrong decreases to 03.1%. Not perfect, but it will have to do. Only thing he could do now to make it lower would be to manipulate it with his power, but he’s already learned that manipulating one probability can change the others in ways he doesn’t quite know how to predict yet. He leaves it alone for now.

The bell rings signaling the start of class. The teacher starts the roll call. The teacher calls him Tim. The probability goes away.

As the day goes on, he keeps to himself and keeps his head down, but notices that the probability of him making a friend is slowly ticking down as well. He wonders if it really matters all that much. After all, he’s survived this long and never had a friend before. He decides he doesn’t need a friend, they’d probably just get annoying and mean like his guardians. He lets it tick down, watching it speed up as his resolve to not make a friend strengthens.

Lunch is enjoyable. He is left alone to his lunch meat sandwich and carrot sticks he had prepared this morning. Through the years he has found he likes being alone. People tend to complicate things. They make the probabilities harder to track. He doesn’t like when the probabilities act up. So he avoids people as much as possible.

It’s the end of the day. He successfully avoided interaction with anyone. The bus ride home is just as uneventful as the one to school. More so even due to the lack of a near miss by an inattentive driver.

He finds his way home with the probabilities, which road is most likely to lead him to the house. When he gets inside, no one greets him. He hears laughter from another room. His guardian is watching television again. He heads to the kitchen to grab something for dinner, some leftover soup, before heading to his room for the night.

The next day he repeats the motions of the day before. Making sure nothing will kill him today as he tries to get through kindergarten. The year passes with nothing remarkable happening and by the next year he is still under the care of the same guardian. He has decided being ignored is better than being hit and that at least he still has access to food and a comfortable bed. He’ll stay for now.

[minusgangtime]

Apocalypse kitty crew: batch 5 bios:

“I’m sorry sis..hold onto my crown until I can endure your safety..you’re a pretty princess now.~”

Name: Ella

Age: 22

Status: infected (corruption infection (stage 1)

Feeling: hopeless

Bio: Ella was doing ok,trying to put on a brave face for her baby sister,especially after Leo locked himself away. But then she got infected. She didn’t trust herself to be with her sister with an unstable infection..so she gave Elly a parting gift,her crown and locked her out,promising once she can control her condition,she’d let her back in..not much is known about her,aside from the fact she only opens her door to occasionally wash herself or accept food.

“No!..I can’t let anyone get hurt by me!..”

Name: Leo

age: 20

Status: infected (stage 1 of corruption infection.)

Feeling: paranoid

Bio: back in the day,the siblings would go together as a trio to get supplies,however, on day,they were ambushed,causing Ella and Leo to get infected,though it took several weeks for Ella to see and realize she was infected. Leo locked himself in his room,only c on ing out to wash himself and up accept food,he considered himself a danger,having the feeling that at any moment,his infection would take control,and the last thing he wanted was the possibility that he could potentially kill or infect his youngest sister..

“I don’t underswand..why?..dwid I do something wong?”

Name: Elly

Age: 7

Status: healthy

Feeling: rejected

Bio: Elly is the only sibling of the trio who was uninfected and who frequently rummaged around the house,she desperately starts conversations with the crew around the house,while it is a nice bonding experience,that’s not why she does it..she does it to distract herself from the pain of “losing” her siblings and the feeling of abandonment that haunts her greatly when she’s alone..

“You think I can’t fend for myself? Hehe..~ watch me!”

Name: lapis

Age: 20

Status: immune

Feeling: brave

Bio: perhaps cause of her magical transition. Lapis discovered through a blood scan she was immune. Realizing this,she ROLLED with it. She is the most successful in getting supplies and returning safely,which BAFFLES the infections,wondering how the hell this lady Gaga looking ass can consistently survive them,to which responds “you don’t know what I’ve been through,and you don’t know what I can do.~” thus logic inspires her to keep up her optimism through even the worst days,cause after all,you never know what might happen.~

“Have you forgotten? I already know what it’s like to fight day after day for your life.”

Name: Zack

Age: 20

Status: healthy

Feeling: determined

Bio: with how much Zack got into pranking before the apocalypse,everyone,even Zack had forgotten he actually did have experience in fighting for survival. When it hit though,and he was allowed to go crazy,everyone remembered. He uses all kinds of battle equipment to fend off infected,any weapon you can think of,he’s used. Though he’s not just a battler,when he’s with his family,his more joking side comes over. He dosent prank much anymore,seeing how many people are on edge,so he does the one thing that guarantees laughter,jokes/puns. :3

“Bluey..I miss you..I could use some happy laughter right now..”

Name: emerald

Age: 20

Status: infected (stage 2 zombie infection.)

Feeling: depressed

Bio: emerald once tried getting supplies,but was ambushed,thanks to his leg condition,he couldn’t fight back..the only reason he survived was cause shelby saved him..he soon realized he was infected with the zombie infection,so he was given the brain protection spell and the vaccine. From that day,he just stayed in his room..feeling miserable..

“Eat this fucker!”

Name: Xavier

Age: 20

Status: healthy

Feeling: vengeful

Bio: being half machine,once Xavier was allowed to fight back,he knew what to do. He used Shelby’s wishing necklace to wish himself a multi-purpose canon,and he uses this to drive off infected. He’s very harsh and brutal with them,cause behind his calm face is someone who has seen how his family has deteriorated cause of the infected. And it fills his heart with malice and desired vengeance.

-mod shelby

(Throwing Blue at Emerald right now >:'3)

[zeroducks-2]

has anyone asked abt batjokes for the ship game

you're the first anon! And DAMN YES

I ship it!

What made you ship it? Reading The Killing Joke at the ripe old age of eight. My mother thought comics were for kids and bought me a big ass "essential Batman stories" book, which started out with The Killing Joke and it rewired my brain I guess (my Batman experience up to that point had been random episodes of Batman Beyond).

What are your favorite things about the ship? I reckon I'm going to go on a bit of a tangent here. Sorry Anon I don't suppose this was the answer you were hoping for, but I am unable to contain myself :> So being that this is my first DC ship (and it might even be my first ship PERIOD), I'm more of a "I nostalgically ship it from afar" than an active, fanfiction-reader/writer kind of fan, but surely my enjoyment has always been rooted in the fact that it's a villain/hero situation where they're two sides of the same coin, at the point where they can't exist without one another. I ship Batman with 50% of his rogue gallery tbh, and unless it's just 'cause it looks hot, it tends to be about how Bruce tries to see the human side of these people (sometimes because he's known them since before they were rogues), how he extends a helping hand when he can, how he refuses to kill them because there has to be a way to rehabilitate them (and sometimes there is, and it's just the tragic nature of these stories which prevents the "rogues" from getting their own form of happy ending). This happens with the Joker too, and the most memorable occasion in which this happens is after Joker tortured and crippled Barbara (someone Bruce is supposed to love and care for), beside what he also does to Jim Gordon (also someone Bruce is supposed to be friends with). Joker himself tells Batman more or less "I hurt a defenseless girl, I terrorized an old man, what are you waiting for just beat the shit out of me" to which BRUCE SAYS NO. He says no because "you're just like me except you had one bad day too many, and I know you can get better, and I want to help you". We all know how The Killing Joke ends, with the proverbial joke and them laughing like maniacs about it (I have the panels always around so yall can experience them with me)

And the image of them laughing together is forever seared into my brain, especially because even if this guy did whatever the hell he did (and will keep doing it), Bruce replied with empathy and compassion. A monster, the irredeemable one who's never going to stop before anything because he's not even human, at this point he's the embodiment of everything wrong there can be in a person - he just got smothered with compassion and it almost worked. The "joke" (two madmen escape the loony bin, etc) is Joker's way to say "I'm sorry I really want to take your hand but I can't, I just can't do it", and Bruce understands this and for a brief moment of six panels it's just two friends laughing together. And that part of me which will always see itself in the ugly, irredeemable, rejected monster was and will always be so profoundly fulfilled by this.

Of course I am also not immune to the whole "you need me, you love me and you can't live without me" thing to which Batman reacts by kicking and screaming that it's not true, but which is indeed true and in every story in which Joker actually dies, Bruce cannot for the love of him cope one single day without him. This post puts it briefly but beautifully, go give it a look if you're rabid a fan of the dynamic such as I am.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? Liking this ship (and Joker in general) is unpopular in and of itself lol, but I guess I can say that my unpopular preference is that as much as I ship them, I don't see sex involved in any part of their relationship which is more based off of beating the shit out of each other (or laughing about a dumbass joke in a stormy night in an abandoned amusement park), and being unable to let the other go when the chance presents itself. I see sex as essentially unnecessary in their dynamic, but it's also true that I don't really peruse Batjokes content beside the occasional fanart, so the sex part might have just not clicked with me yet.

[mischief-lies-and-stories]

Abandoned Loki Theories

My best friend and I tend to watch the same media, and Loki was no different. However, we no longer live in the same place, we have different schedules, and I am a much bigger Loki fan than she is (so I was much more likely to turn on the new episode as soon as I got home from work, no matter what). But since I want to remember everything I want to talk to her about after we both watch the episode, I have taken to making notes in my phone while watching. I usually condensed these notes into something more coherent before we talked, but I saved the original notes. I recently reread these incoherent, mostly caps-locked reactions, and compiled several ideas I had while watching episodes that I've since abandoned.

"Wait, is she a Timekeeper?" So this is a direct quote from one of my reactions, and I don't remember if I was referring to Renslayer or Sylvie, but I'm pretty sure it was one or the other. Obviously, since Renslayer didn't know she was a variant and the Timekeepers turned out to be fake anyway, I doubt either one is true.

C-20 isn't dead: Man, I hope this is still true; she and Sylvie had some great fake chemistry. I was once a spn fan (and my brain sometimes thinks I still am), and I refuse to accept death in shows if I don't see the body. But sadly I think if she was still alive she'd have shown up by now.

TVA planted memories of Sylvie's arrest as a child; she's really from post-Infinity War: So this was in part when I thought Sylvie was genderfluid like Loki, rather than a transwoman (as in consistently one gender), so the timeline as we know it was the same both events and gender-wise, and then at some point after faking their death, their gender shifted. Either Sylvie changed her name as an alias or as a fem name (or a name that better fits her just in her opinion; she can be Sylvie even if she's having a masc or nb day). But while I think it's possible for the TVA to have altered her memories (it's explicitly been stated that they can do it, after all), I think it's too involved for a side plot. There's too much else going on. Plus I think she's a transwoman not genderfluid.

Lamentis nexus event was a paradox; there can't be two variants together: I refuse to believe the nexus event was Sylvie and Loki falling in love (though that'd be a little paradoxical as well). I think the nexus event involves both of them, and I don't think it's for the reason Mobius thinks it is. But they were in the same place the entire episode, and the TVA didn't find them until right before they bit it, so I don't think it was just them together that caused it. I don't think it was love, at least not romantic. Loki doesn't even seem to consider this a possibility until Mobius suggested it. My new thought is this: either the catalyst is they both make the decision to trust each other (which is not something a Loki does often), or this is the moment Loki looks at Sylvie and for the first time sees the true scope of his own potential, stretching bright and beautiful and endless within this fearless, resilient version of him. This is a very subtle recreation of that one panel from I don't know which comic of a bunch of Lokis standing around and then they start whispering into each other's ears, "You can escape."

(I do not know if this is a legit panel or an edit, I'm sorry.)

Various people being Loki variants-- Renslayer, Kang, etc.: This one makes sense for why I abandoned it. Both have variants (in Kang's case, at least, canonically many) of themselves that we've already seen.

Classic Loki is Old Loki from AoA: His character design, his age, the fact that Old Loki canonically messes with the timeline, too, it made sense before hearing his backstory. And listen, seeing Kid Loki and Old Loki at the very end of the episode? I spent an entire week going feral with AoA thoughts. But the backstory doesn't match up.

[atherix]

YOU WANT A GLIMPSE, IM GONNA RANT SO MUCH RIGHT NOW Because I've spammed my friend so much and they need a break from that SO HERE I AM

Typing this all out again is gonna take forever tho. 

So first order of business,

EXCUSE ME, WHAT. I really need to reread midnight.. I just know there's going to to ANGST. Like, I'm gonna cry

Amd this all happened while I was in the middle of draeing (still working on it)

MUMBO AND HIS KID, LIKE COMMON, I WAS ALRESFY SAD /pos

What if mumbos daughter was turned? Then a number of things could sprout off from that.

1) she could have been manipulated into thinking her parents abandoned her

2) she could have grown resentful because Noone came to save her

3) she may not even remember her parents

Then like, the coven thst mumbo was turned to, what if his daughter was turned by the same coven, and they were just separated the whole time so... when he remembers (BECAUSE OF CUB STUFF) they go to thst coven to get rid of it AND SHES THERE

what jf she tries to kill him and then mumbo realizes who she is

Wait, if she was ruenned as a kid, she would still be a kid right! Is she forever a child! WAIT MORE THOUGHTS,

if she was tuned as a child and stays a child forever, does her brain still develop? Does she mentaly grow up?

If his kids are alive they are very traumatized *cough- just like everyone in this series- coughcough

---what if his daughter remembers the braiding hair stuff.

Because my brain has a hold on the hair brading thoughts but that's another thing entirely that I could rant about for hours as well

What if mumbos daughter was turned jnto a cove  and she never excaped?

Ohh the emotions mumbo will feel when he sees them again (if this is even happening)

Sad ,confused, happy, grief, anger

If anyone hurt his kid he would go on a murdering spree

I swear if BLONDIE shows up, I'll step thought my phone screen and beat her up, I will.

Tubbo have siblings??? And then I have mumbo family thought too. Soo Many because for the past 2ish days all I've been able to think about is that

And like how braiding hair is culturally important to scar and emotionally significant to mumbo, like

My heart

Amd them how mumbo probably loved to dress his kids up all fancy, like him.

Aaaaaaaaaa

And then because his first family all died (or so we were lead to beleive) he's over protective of the one he has now so letting tubbo leave not only went against his vampire instinct but also his own fears,, probably,,,

And like how he couldn't see the good he had done in boatem until grian and scar were like DUDE, LOOK, YOURE AMAZINF OK, LOLK HERES THE HISTORY BOOKS TO PROVE IT

And then how the mimics looked like his kid

He never got the chance to talk it out or process it that much before scars flux and then he remembers stuff just to forget again because PLOT

And then also___ when grjan got kidnapped, mumbo was probably so terrified thst he'd loose another part kf his family, LIKE

THINKING ABOUT THIS HAS ONKY CAUSED ME SO MUCH MORE PAIN

Qnd I know another way to get mumbo to wear a dress,

His daughter would want to play dress up or something and he'd dress up with her and have a princess tea party if she wanted that.

I just- yeah, I can't

That ask make my brain go WOOOOOOOO

A lot of this is just reaches into the dark, but yeah. Aqaaaa. Mmm words :)

All very good thoughts and no questions that I can answer hehe :) OKAY BUT THE FACT YOU HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS AND SOMEONE BRINGS IT UP LMAO

[kaija-rayne-author]

Finished the main game with my qunari. (Again, 3rd time, this series has me so hard.) I'm very ready for this run to be done.

The 'make Solas hate me' thing wasn't even remotely easy for me. Though, I gotta admit antagonizing him was fun for a while. 😅 I'm only playing Trespasser with this character, (not the other DLCs) because I'm having painful dysphoria issues with the curvier female qunari form.

There's a reason I usually play male elves. Skinny little twinks are pretty androgynous and don't bother my dysphoria so much. Even female elves don't bother me. They're all pretty androgynous. If only I were.

Plus pointed ears. My entire family has slightly pointed ears so it's just fun.

I actually only gave Sera a Romance chance because of a tumblr post I saw. I'm glad I did. It was the hardest Romance of all for me, but it’s actually really sweet and happy. Good brain chemicals.

As soon as I finish Trespasser to get angry Solas end lines, I'm going to take another run at modding Frostbite. (Seeing bitchy Solas in game was way more powerful for me than a YouTube watch would be.)

I've been modding games since modding became a thing, so it wasn't fun to realize how bloody difficult Frostbite is to mod.

But because I really want to play DA:I with some of the mods, and because DA:DW is built on Frostbite too, I gotta figure it out. It was mostly an ADHD patience/frustration thing, I think. I expected reasonable levels of difficulty in modding Frostbite and it is an absolute monster.

I'm actually tempted to play the whole series again since I'm almost done with reading the books and comics. They added so much depth to the games and characters that I'm curious about how it'll change my perception of them.

And I've heard there's art and references to 'The Dread Wolf' in all games. Curiousity absolutely gets me into trouble, frequently. 😅

It's how I ended up on the Solavellan Hell train. I knew who Solas was 'cause I'd already played DA:I, but I still did a Solavellan playthrough out of curiousity.

Being a writer/editor/literary analyst, I didn't truly think that Weekes would snag me, much less snag me so fucking hard!

So, yeah. A day or two, depending on how much time I have to game, to finish Trespasser, and then I'll be trying again to mod this beast of a game engine.

Once you're an insider in publishing, it becomes more and more difficult throughout the years for stories to capture you. I know all the tropes and can see where things are going so easily because I've been working professionally in this field for close to a decade.

Even with that, Weekes grabbed me by the heart then proceeded to rip my heart out. (He did it in Masked Empire too, great book.) Gotta love star crossed lovers. It's one of my very favourite tropes and I'm actually grateful that Weekes reached me. So little does anymore. And to think I got into this field after leaving STEM because I love to read 🤣, oh... sweet summer child.

Once I get it successfully modded, I'll decide on a full series replay (it would give me more to write about) or not.

Right now, I'm so stressed out by my job search that I'm clinging to DA as my only real stress relief. Usually special interests aren't this chronologically long lasting for me. I tend to cycle through them more quickly.

But with the job search being what it is, and my stress levels being through the roof, I'm just grateful this one hasn't abandoned me yet.

You really wouldn't think finding a decent job (something I'm good at, salary with good benefits, ideally remote because I'm more productive from my home office) would be so difficult, would you?

Anyway, enough of me jawing about DA for now. I need to make an online portfolio for my graphic design stuff. I've been doing it as long as I've been doing editing & literary critique (24 years), and writing for 33 years, but having an online portfolio hasn't ever been a priority because my clients have always found me by word of mouth.

Sigh. I'd rather be doing many other things. I just want a job I can be good at that I'm paid a living wage for that actually uses my skills and maybe pushes me a little to increase my abilities. One that doesn't require my autistic/ADHD ass to do social things because that's probably around the 7th layer of hell for me. Why is that so hard to find?

[just-some-random-blogger]

well well, tears still taste good. guess who? first of all, i love daemons character development SO much! ive got the feeling as if this part is about him. like its not totally but his character is SO big there. i love how whiny and desperate he is. he feels like the man who gave his life to save his wife. the brothers' relationships !! the first scene got me 1) a little amused 2) softened 3) thinking. 1) drunk bubbling mess daemon? i giggled. he does hilarious things. 2) THE brothers relationships TT how viserys takes care of him like he IS the baby brother? oh and i never really noticed you using it in another parts so it made SO much sense for me here. as ive said, it made this part SO abt daemon. and how daemon sees his older brother as the father figure while next to him hes just a rebellious child whos saying 'fucking viserys' and then beggs him to let him wed. GOT ME CHOKING ON MY THOUGHTS 3) i was confused at first. yeah he sees viserys as the father figure but. was he that drunk to just mistake him? to talk to the dead? were these just his true feelings? AND one time when he said kepa and viserys stopped talking i even got a thought that maaaybe daemon does it intentionally and manipulatively. but hes too baby brother for this. AND also i was confused bc ?? bro?? youre married? in valyrian way? its even more valuable? why r u mopping? so that made me think even MORE abt his character's development AND depth. bc this inner conflict causes self-hatred? maybe not this in particular but he absolutely does think he deserves love. neither from his wife nor from the brother. BOOM the circle is closed! the number of issues this character has and the way you empicture them are amazing. (not me wanting to see more daemon being desperate for love and EVERYONE's approval. just imagine him finally having the wedding with the reader in the morning and at midnight he presses his tear-stained face to his bride's hip, begging to not leave him and not despise him) i love this ineer conflict that generates the conflict between brothers and vice versa. these being SO connected just make them more significant and intense. hits hard. (sorry, im dry and tired so not so many emotions today) then THE king just goes to a museum klerk in the sake of his brother? ok later. BTW! i LOVE how you got museum involved! thanks for not abandoning it TT i find idea of creating a westeros' history museum and then making it so connected with the characters it means to tell about so enchanting!! youre really big brained for it! (and oberyn martell?? girl you said you wouldnt write for pedro pascal GIRL) language and especially addresses! 'WIFEY' got me literally screaming. THE addresses??? all 'my love's and husbands and wifes and all just make me so excited. 1) this make them seem so in love to not even consider other names existence 2) still abt daemon but TT it makes so much sense for his personality TT this and his obsession with marrying the reader make him so desperate! as if all these can become the tower where a dragon keeps his bride in, defending her from the world (i LIVE for dragons references). and yk what? theres a russian poet Alexander Blok who created the image of 'Majestic Eternal Wife' (quote) and i can see daemon seeing the reader as this Majestic Eternal Wife. and shes kinda is but also not really. but for him? absolutely. and this thought hits me HARD. and the beginning of investigation? omg is it based on the thoughts i gave you🥺 i want to think so and i think its cute. AND i absolutely love how AEGON starts to ask questions! like they both do but its aegon whos making it so suspicious so they need to learn more abt it. their dynamic is so canon. everyone overrates aemond a bit. hes smart and badass and all but hes quiet and rather passive. he can pick a book and suspect but not confront daemon suddenly. and brothers' dynamic are actually so accurate! you absolutely made in canon. part 2 with all the praises is coming! (you already have it ig lol) so for now! i still love your big brain VERY MUCH!!

HELLLLLLLOOOOO WOW THIS IS SO EXCITING!!!!!!

well well, tears still taste good. guess who?

HELLO MY MINGMING ITS SO NICE TO SEE YOU OFF ANON ALSHF;ALFASHF HIHIHIHHIH. i knew this was your user <3 you gave yourself away a few times im glad youre here now!! HIHIH

first of all, i love daemons character development SO much! ive got the feeling as if this part is about him. like its not totally but his character is SO big there.

HAHAHAHA i mean HAHHHA ITS A DAEMON FIC SO HAHAHH i wanted to show my evil meow meow off. but you know you're so right, i didnt even notice that i was ig somehow taking my time showing each character/ 'potential love interest' HAHAHAHA but yeah now we have daemon loml 🫶🫶🫶

i love how whiny and desperate he is.

same i love me a pathetic man, a pathetic man in love 😩

he feels like the man who gave his life to save his wife.

wow really that's how that feels to you SLAY i was just thinkin he a whiny privileged rat that has finally understood what it means to have something he wants so bad not be given to him from the get go

the brothers' relationships !! the first scene got me 1) a little amused 2) softened 3) thinking. 1) drunk bubbling mess daemon? i giggled. he does hilarious things. 2) THE brothers relationships TT how viserys takes care of him like he IS the baby brother?

IM GLAD I GOT YOU FEELING THOSE THREE SCENES. like i mentioned before, i had the fic written halfway before finishing it yesterday, so though i know what happens in the fic, it wasn't so fresh in my memory, so when i reread it T_T i was so satisfied with how i made them interact. drunk daemon is vulnerable daemon, honest with the alcohol and i luv him. i also love their relationship so much. my younger bro is also 4 years younger than me and sometimes i look at him and i think damn that was the kid i helped walk dafaq T_T so yeah. daemon is forever a baby in viserys eyes, esp since its just him and daemon

oh and i never really noticed you using it in another parts so it made SO much sense for me here.

i actually touch on this on the second part because i wanted to show #1 how daemon, as much as he does what he wants, he values his family so much #2 how much it hurts for him to have to go against his bro #3 how yn knows daemon so much that she knows hes hurting

as ive said, it made this part SO abt daemon. and how daemon sees his older brother as the father figure while next to him hes just a rebellious child whos saying 'fucking viserys' and then beggs him to let him wed.

HAHAHHAHA yet is is that good child/bad child scene. its both daemon kind of saying viserys acts like their father/is sort of a father figure to him and also its more of a compliment to viserys, since i would think they hold high views of their papa, so daemon implicitly saying you look like dad/you act like dad, is daemon kind of making this distinction with himself that he is the good brother he is the king where daemon was not

GOT ME CHOKING ON MY THOUGHTS 3) i was confused at first. yeah he sees viserys as the father figure but. was he that drunk to just mistake him? to talk to the dead? were these just his true feelings?

HAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHH for me it was both he's so fucking drunk what is reality but its also the little boy in him crying out to his dad, in denial that he's dead, warping reality into what he wants because he wants to talk to his dad and viserys looks/acts enough like him so he gets catharsis out of pretending viserys is his kepa. it's bleeding into his spoiled character trait of i get what i want no matter want that i'll even distort reality if i have to

AND one time when he said kepa and viserys stopped talking i even got a thought that maaaybe daemon does it intentionally and manipulatively. but hes too baby brother for this.

DAMN T_T thats an interesting take, but i personally didnt write that with that intention. i will say he is fully capable of doing that but i agree that he is too baby brother for that

AND also i was confused bc ?? bro?? youre married? in valyrian way? its even more valuable? why r u mopping?

UR SO RIGHT HAHHHAHAHAHAAHHAAHH HES JUST AN OVERPRIVILEGED RAT WHO IS CRYING THAT HE CANT FLEX FOR ONCE IN HIS STINKY LIFE

so that made me think even MORE abt his character's development AND depth. bc this inner conflict causes self-hatred? maybe not this in particular but he absolutely does think he deserves love.

CRYING SLAKHLSHFLAHSFHASFH

everyone deserves love even stinky daemon. i love how you've analyzed this. i'll go ahead and agree with you even though im not sure if i meant for him to get drunk because of self-hatred or just because hes a whiny rat HAHAHHA

neither from his wife nor from the brother. BOOM the circle is closed!

NAH YOURE SO RIGHT BIG BRAIN MOMENT I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THAT HAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH I LOVE THAT FOR YOU FOR NOTICING AND FOR ME FOR INSTINCTIVELY WRITING IT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS NOT MY INTENT HAHAHH

the number of issues this character has and the way you empicture them are amazing.

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 THANK YOU MY LOVE

(not me wanting to see more daemon being desperate for love and EVERYONE's approval. just imagine him finally having the wedding with the reader in the morning and at midnight he presses his tear-stained face to his bride's hip, begging to not leave him and not despise him)

sTOPPPPP T_T YOURE MAKING ME WANT TO SKIP ALL THE WAY TO THE WEDDING SCENE SO I CAN DESTROY DAEMON

i love this ineer conflict that generates the conflict between brothers and vice versa. these being SO connected just make them more significant and intense. hits hard.

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 you get it. im so glad that this was apparent to you even tho ur siblingless HAHAHAHA

(sorry, im dry and tired so not so many emotions today)

HELP DONT APOLOGIZE IM ENJOYING THIS SO MUCH THUS FAR ITS OK IM LUV U EITHER WAY THANK YOU FOR STILL SENDING ME THIS EVEN THOUGH YOURE TIRED MY LOVE T_T

then THE king just goes to a museum klerk in the sake of his brother? ok later. BTW! i LOVE how you got museum involved! thanks for not abandoning it TT i find idea of creating a westeros' history museum and then making it so connected with the characters it means to tell about so enchanting!! youre really big brained for it!

yes the king going to inspect his bros lover himself is such a big bro power move. and of course i wouldnt just abandon the museum T_T my gosh T_T that would be so L of me. there is a very specific reason i added it in the first place 🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫

(and oberyn martell?? girl you said you wouldnt write for pedro pascal GIRL)

HAHAHHAH

pedro pascals power is too much T_T im on pedro pascal tiktok and the edits are CRACK

STOP IT BLAME MY MUTUAL @sloanexx YES IM TAGGING YOU HERE AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A HARD TIME LOOKING FOR IT AND YOU GET YOUR HOPES UP THAT ITS A FANFIC BUT ITS NOT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH BECAUSE THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT IVE BEEN CAUGHT IN A WEB OF PEDRO PASCAL THAT EVEN IN MY DAEMON FICS I ADDED HIM HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHH

language and especially addresses! 'WIFEY' got me literally screaming. THE addresses??? all 'my love's and husbands and wifes and all just make me so excited.

HIHIHI ITS ME BEING A SIMP 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 I LOVE IT WHEN LOVERS ARE SIMPS FOR EACH OTHER NOM NOM NOM NOM

1) this make them seem so in love to not even consider other names existence

😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 i get what you mean but idk theres also something so deeply intimate about calling someone by their name or even saying like 'my daemon' because to me you're no longer just yourself your a part of me T_T but also i do get it that calling someone something other than their name and being the only one allowed to say it is also very scared. like hes daemon to the whole world but to you hes love, sweetheart, darling, husband and thats

2) still abt daemon but TT it makes so much sense for his personality TT this and his obsession with marrying the reader make him so desperate! as if all these can become the tower where a dragon keeps his bride in, defending her from the world (i LIVE for dragons references).

HAHAHAAHA I LIKE THIS IDEA FOR HIM HAHAAH yes it makes so much sense to be how obsessed daemon would be about this. thats the type of person he is.

and yk what? theres a russian poet Alexander Blok who created the image of 'Majestic Eternal Wife' (quote) and i can see daemon seeing the reader as this Majestic Eternal Wife. and shes kinda is but also not really. but for him? absolutely. and this thought hits me HARD.

OMG??????? HOLLUP I GOTTA RESEARCH THIS REAL QUICK damn ok its in russian T_T OH NVM I FOUND IT ohemgee this is so daemon, esp with the fact they have like 999999+ gods/goddesses he would 100% make a shrine for her and worship the ground she walks on

and the beginning of investigation? omg is it based on the thoughts i gave you🥺 i want to think so and i think its cute.

yes yes YES IT IS!!!!! omg duh im luv u so i would 100% add it

AND i absolutely love how AEGON starts to ask questions! like they both do but its aegon whos making it so suspicious so they need to learn more abt it. their dynamic is so canon. everyone overrates aemond a bit. hes smart and badass and all but hes quiet and rather passive. he can pick a book and suspect but not confront daemon suddenly. and brothers' dynamic are actually so accurate! you absolutely made in canon.

EXACTLLLYYYYYY OMGG CRYING SCREAMING THROWING UP YOU GET ME SO FRICKING WELL YOU GET IT YOU GET IT AEGON IS LOUD AF AND AEMOND IS HUSH HUSH GAHHH

YOU GET IT YOU GET IT YOU GET IT THEY BOTH SUS BUT AEGON IS POLICING ALL UP IN YO BUSINESS AND AEMOND IS A QUIET SLEUTH GAHHHH NOW I WANNA WRITE SOME AEMOND FICS ALSHLASFHLASFHLASFHSALF

part 2 with all the praises is coming! (you already have it ig lol) so for now! i still love your big brain VERY MUCH!!

YES THERES MORE OMG IM SO EXCITED LASFHLASFH

[silentmassacres]

sun, nov 3

nostalgia, jealousy, and neglect

i have an odd experience with dissociation, one that occurs again and again. not constant, but familiar enough. i can feel as my brain latches onto certain memories or ideas, trying to bring me back to them.

of course, i can't go back.

the christmas of 2012 at my grandparents' house won't return. my cousins are older now, no longer carrying around toys and a ds with games for me to explore. i got yelled at until i cried that night, for reasons i can't remember. i still miss the glowing lights of the tree that i helped decorate.

my elementary school library is, undoubtedly, different now. kids are no longer playing poptropica on the computers while i check out every i spy book. i miss the way they smelled.

—

many times, i find myself giving in. mentally living at least a decade ago. it's easier, i guess. i know it furthers my dissociation, to be solidly convinced i'm in another place and time. my brain is stuck there, and i don't feel there's much i can do.

i'd rather be there and disoriented than here and miserable

—

i didn't like school as a child. i found it boring and my peers frustrated me. many times, my teachers did as well. i was an easy target, i suppose.

yet, somehow, despite all of it, i miss it. i shouldn't. i don't know why i do.

i'd like to go home now.

—

i don't like calling myself disabled. i know that, realistically, i am. sometimes i'll use the word as if it proves anything, as if i am somehow more heard.

my body is deteriorating from the inside out. they don't know what's wrong with me, and nobody bothers to care or check. so i remain a mystery. of course, it's internal. there is never a moment i am without pain and i will try not to collapse when my body decides to give up on me — but that is unseen.

it feels like a cruel joke at times. if i were a character, it'd be some parallel or metaphor or other literacy device; a play on how, with all of my mental suffering internalized, i am now facing the same with physical issues

—

i'd like to hope there's something solid wrong with me. maybe they could do something.

for another day and another week and another month, i will ignore the concept of chronic pain and fatigue and what basically amounts to rotting internally being as a result of trauma. i will not receive help for that.

even if it is physical, i still don't receive help.

—

i dislike feeling jealous. it makes me feel like a bad person, in all of my misdirected anger. it's not the fault of those who have what i cannot, and they shouldn't be the target of my frustrations.

yet i can't help but compare myself.

maybe it's worse in some aspects for others, but i still find myself fighting to prove that i'm somehow more worthy. i begin to believe that worth means nothing if not recognized — worth is only built on recognition after all, is it not?

i keep it to myself, most times. no need to express it

—

it's not just hormones, i've decided. it's part of it, i guess. the hormones make me irritable with others. but they're not what's causing me to be miserable. suicidal ideation used to be reserved for the week or two before. we're past that now, and i still feel depression wrapping around me.

i don't know what i'm going to do. i'm told it's fine (of course, what else are you to say?), but i still worry.

it still lingers with me, having been abandoned during arguably the worst bout of depression in my life, and then claiming i was neglectful. i don't want to go through that again.

i'm not wonderful with being. openly caring. not in the way people want. it's easy for people to assume or say that i don't care and paint me in a negative light. and when the time comes in which i can barely care for myself, will i continue to extend that towards others?

i fear it only breeds resentment.

does it matter if i hurt myself, so long as i behave normal enough? so long as i'm caring?

i worry she'll be mad at me for it. i don't remember where that feeling comes from.

[jaythelay]

Ay are there any psychiatrists or whatever doctors that know the right words to say to get a doctor to do their job?

For example if you're a woman, I've heard most times they're callously ignored unless they claim they're trying to concieve a child, then they get help.

Or if you say you had sudden weight loss they'll take it extra seriously because it's a sign of cancer.

What magic words get a doctor to not abandon me after the first 2 weeks, or overprescribe me 9 (golly all sorts of mental health based pills that worked as well as sugar pills) meds at the same time?

I got this abcess on my cheek since 2019 I've had multiple surgeries for, including taking out an entire saliva gland. All doctors in my area basically are gone or don't take my insurance so everywhere I've had to go is actual hours away. I can't force myself to keep trying on a complete failure of a system when I'm this bogged down mentally after so many failures by doctors for me.

I just need medicine for my ADHD and whatever broke my brain in 8 years ago with shrooms, either DP/DR or serotonin burnout. I've been genuinely trying for years ya'll I've never been more existential, straight up, a less strong willed person would've offed themself the first year in and no that does not make me feel powerful it terrifies me existentially.

I tried saying I wanted real meds to help because I went through, quite literally, all the meds they'd give a depressed teenager and not someone completely brain broken. They were scared I wanted drugs. Thanks doc. I tried saying I was scared of the big meds but I'd like to work towards them this time, they abandoned me after the second week, leaving me in an online call for 2 hours with 0 response nor callbacks of any sort. I tried telling them I think it's a tooth causing the abcess, they didn't listen because they were confident it was a saliva gland. It wasn't. I tried being nothing but honest, breaking down in tears just saying I want to live, they prescribed me hydroxozin or whatever. Something I'd been taking since 2018. I was speechless.

I get they can't immedietely prescribe actual medicine to me until they know me enough and have established a connection, but then they just...leave the state without warning? What am I supposed to do...Seriously.

My roommate has been quite literally The Support I've been needing to get progress on this, I don't drive and barely understand insurance or most stuff told to me really in that world, nor can I with my brain broken from shrooms. He's been a rock, but he's also been the Only Help. I can't keep relying on them as they got their own problems.

Doctors around my area genuinely Do Not Give A Shit. I need these magic words, being honest and patient gets me taken advantage of Incedibly Dangerously. Stretching the truth got me no where. Being myself got me nowhere. I'm tired ya'll. I want to feel Okay. Just Okay. How is that so fucking hard for the medical system when I put Every Possible Ounce Of Effort One Could Manage.

Like, They Took My Saliva Gland Ya'll. They put me on 9+ meds at the same time. It did Nothing. Not One Thing. But make me worse off and more poor. I can't afford to drive 2 hours to a psychiatrist who wants to question my TBI marijuana card and act like the One Helpful Medicine Any State Has Ever Given Me, is actually the problem. That I'm the problem, and we're gonna need blood tests we'll NEVER follow up on despite assuring me it would end up being useful. Where's my blood you piece of shit? What'd you do with it???

Like my god ya'll. My god. Help. Just help. Don't scrutinize I can't handle some dumb motherfucker larping my life as some asshole when I've been more patient than any doctor or psychiatrist I've met. There is no pedastal, I'm on my hands and knees in tears.

Like this one psychiatrist started crying in the middle of me explaining the one happy moment I had with my dog in that recent time, because theirs died- AND TO BE CLEAR, NO JUDGEMENT, TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE, but why the FUCK ARE YOU HERE THE DAY AFTER!?!?!?!? I had to shut the fuck up because WHAT the fuck do you continue that conversation with? Set me back so fucking hard man, I just wanted to share a good moment, a rarity at the time, and it went to shit.

Like I consoled her and all that, It's a legitimate reason to breakdown at any job, just...why the fuck the day after when you're a psychiatrist!?!? What the fuck man.

HELP. ME. I'm surrounded by fucking incompetancy. America or whatever, blue state, I don't care. Whatever gets a doc to do their fucking job without threatening to take the only prescribed medicine that helps, away from me.

Please. Fucking Please. I'm tired. I'm not well. And I don't have the energy to try again and again experimenting until I find those magic words. Or maybe I said something? I dunno! I'm desperate to feel any other fucking way than absolutely hopeless.

[milo-is-rambling]

Don't want to sleep bc when I woke up this morning it was too early so I went back to bed and spent like two hours falling in and out of sleep and in and out of a dream about my dad where he was alive again (weird as fuck to say that cause it still has not actually clicked in my brain that my dad is dead) and he kept trying to do things in the dream like go to sleep or go into a different room and I was like talking him out of it and I kept my eye on him constantly so he couldn't leave and it was like he got away from me and went to bed or something and the second he walked out of the room we were in I woke up and then I just kind of stared at my ceiling feeling bad for like an hour and it fucking sucked and my mom wasn't home when I got up again cause it was like noon and she had a work lunch today and left at 11 so I was home alone with my dog and I had that dream and then felt really truly alone and I realized that my dad dying fucked with my already bad abandonment issues and like I know that he didn't die and leave me on purpose obviously but like he's missing from my life now and he's not gonna be with me through all these future experiences I imagined having him there for like I'm not dating anyone and haven't dated anyone like long term serious recently so he's not gonna be able to ever meet the person I truly fall in love with or like be at my wedding and he's never gonna be able to have a Christmas together with me and my future family or even have grandkids and my dad loves kids and my neighbor (his best friend) has grandkids who knew my dad and like I played with them in the pool and we hung out a lot this last year and there's one kid who has the same name as my dad so they always said little bill and big bill for my dad and his friends grandkid and next time they come to visit we have to tell them something happened to big bill and he's not gonna be around anymore and it just fucking sucks. Death sucks Greif sucks I keep saying y'know "love doesn't go anywhere" "the pain of grief is just all the love you have to give still" "blah blah blah you're supposed to cry" but like I can say it as many times as I want I am still definitely not dealing with this at all. I barely legitimately cry about it like I'll drop like three tears when a specific song comes on Spotify shuffle but I haven't cried hard really and I avoid looking at pictures of him or anything or letting myself have any emotion about it and I think it's bc of this big huge shame monster I have in my chest that I call my heart but it truly does not let me experience emotions around other people like god damn I didn't realize how bad it was like I thought I had more control over it and I was just being edgy or whatever but I legitimately cannot handle crying in front of another person even my mom who I am the closest with out of anyone in my life like it's just me and my mom and millie and that's my whole fucking world and even with them I just can't let myself cry or feel actual emotion and the second I start crying I immediately lose all sadness I had cause my body just turns it off like someone fucking turned off a faucet like I cry a little bit completely alone when im driving and I can't really fully let it out cause I need to focus on driving that's the only way I can cry anymore cause even completely alone I am judging myself from my head and won't let myself cry and I keep trying and trying and I just do not know how to let myself cry and I feel like I have this giant inflatable swimming pool filling with so much water that it actually rips the plastic and explodes that's what I feel behind my eyes and nose at all times it's one big emotion blob right there and I can't fucking let it explode no matter how hard I try and I've been fucking trying. I rewatched all my crying shit and haven't been able to get an actual breakdown started at all it's pissing me off I want to just feel my feelings so I can work thru them but also every time I cry I feel so much shame like how do u fix that so I can cry really hard for like two months straight