#you ever get so upset at being in trouble that you become the school problem kid and noone can even argue with you becuz yea

[jatlokgwo]

i think that when i started questioning rules and i realize most of them where unfair was when my parents told me that swearing was bad but they didnt tell me what a swear word is and i did my best to report when i heard them even if it was just stuff like saying fudge or flip and never swear or say anything negative about anyone and then later i was explaining the mlp wonderbolts taining course to mom and i said that these wind things are to push you off the track and piss you off and i got in trouble and thats how i leaned that piss is a swear word

[dark-fics-4-you]

Old Grudges Die Hard

dark!Bully!Rafe Cameron x Reader

Rafe Cameron had made your life hell ever since you first met him in elementary school. When you moved away for college, you thought you were finally done with your bully, but your life changes when you come face to face with him at his party a year later.

Warnings: noncon (rape), smut, unprotected sex, dacryphilia (crying & tear kink), rough sex, slapping, choking, sexual harassment, harassment, degradation, bullying, drinking, drugs

A/N: this fic begins when Reader and Rafe are in elementary school, but nothing sexual happens between them until they are 19 years old

When you were in elementary school, your parents explained to you that part of being a Pogue meant that people would hate you for absolutely no reason other than the fact that you’re poor.

Grasping your scrapped knee in pain as fat tears rolled down your cheeks, you were quick to tell your parents about the altercation at school as soon as they picked you up.

When you asked them what a ‘Pogue’ was, they exchanged a concerned look before gingerly explaining why the rude boy in your class had shoved you really hard at recess.

“B-but why would he do that?” You sobbed. “It’s so hard to make new friends here!”

“I know sweetheart,” your mother looked down at you sadly. “Is this the first time something like this has happened?”

“No! He made fun of my clothes on my first day. He said I look poor and he would know since he’s rich.” You cried louder, remembering how upset his words had made you. “A-and then all of the girls wouldn’t stop grabbing my skirt or pinching me because he told them to.”

“Have you told the teacher about this?” Your mother asked. You had reached the car now and she helped you into your seat and buckled you in.

“They just ignored me! Rafe gets away with everything,” you grumbled.

“Maybe he’s got a crush on you, Y/N,” your dad jokingly teased from the front of the car and you gagged loudly.

“Ew! No! I hate him! I would never like him in a million years!” You angrily exclaimed.

“Well, I’ll call the school and let them know he’s causing problems. He shouldn’t be able to get away with this without punishment.”

What your parents had a much harder job explaining to you was how powerful money is, and how unfair the world is.

Three parent-teacher meetings with your parents and Rafe’s accomplished little to nothing. If anything, the attention that you had brought to his behavior only made it worse.

It was remarkable how sneaky he could be in his torment of you, always waiting for the teacher’s back to turn before pinching your arm hard enough to make you scream, and bringing the teacher’s attention back to you only for you to be chastised for interrupting class.

He would accuse you of looking at his quizzes, all the while he was cheating off of you.

Any craft or art project that you worked on would mysteriously turn up damaged or missing, getting you in more trouble with the teacher for not completing work.

By the last day of 5th grade, you were thrilled to be heading off to a different middle school than Rafe.

And for three blissful years, you were safe from his cruelty. In fact, Rafe Cameron had become all but a distant memory by the time you reached high school.

Excited by your high grades in middle school and how fast you were learning the material, your parents saved up their money to put you into the best high school in Outer Banks, one that was populated mostly by rich Kooks.

You were so excited to start high school at such a nice school! It was very obvious to you that you were in Kook territory given how well funded it was, and you hoped that despite your Pogue status, you would be able to make friends.

When you realized one of your closest elementary school friends who had switched schools in the 7th grade was at the same school, you were over the moon.

Linking arms with Olivia, she gave you a quick tour of the school before leading you over to your locker. After several attempts, you opened it and loaded your things inside.

“I’ve already made so many friends and we haven’t even started classes yet!” Olivia giggled.

“Really??” You asked. If Olivia was making friends this quickly, maybe it would be okay for you.

“Yeah! And there’s sooo many cute guys here! Like Brady, Joey, Daevon, Rafe, Aaron L, Aaron R, although Aaron D is straight up fugly.”

“Wait hold on, did you say Rafe? As in Rafe Cameron?” Your stomach dropped at the thought of running into him.

Even though it had been three years and you hoped that he had changed, you couldn’t help but feel apprehension at his name.

“Oh yeah, he’s sooo cute!” Olivia gushed, looking around the hall quickly before meeting your eyes again. “Why? What’s up? Do you have a crush on him too?”

“Well, I haven’t seen him in so long, but the last time I did, he was basically my bully in elementary school,” you joked, trying to make light of the situation.

“Wait, what?? That was Rafe?!”

“What did I do?” A familiar voice from behind you made the hair on the back of your neck stand up and you swiveled around to come face to face with the last person you wanted to see right now.

His face had changed and he was obviously much taller than he had been when you last saw him (you both were), but there was no mistaking his face.

He took you in for a moment, eyes widening when he recognized you.

“No way, Y/N Y/L/N, is that really you?” His voice was incredulous and you had never wished more that you would just evaporate.

“In the flesh,” you nervously joked.

“Hi Rafe!” Olivia excitedly greeted him, but he ignored her, much to her dismay.

“Y/N um, you know…” he paused, looking a bit pained. “I uh, I feel kinda bad about how I treated you back then, that was so long ago now though.”

He laughed and you reluctantly joined in.

“But anyways, I uh- wanna make it up to you, you should come sit with my friends at lunch today.”

His offer shocked you and you couldn’t help but stare at him for a few moments with raised eyebrows.

“Is this a joke?”

“No,” he quickly responded, looking to the ground with embarrassment burning across his cheeks. “I’m just trying to be nice.”

You glanced over at Olivia who gave you an encouraging grin, looking a little jealous herself.

“Um, I guess! Thanks Rafe!” You smiled at him and he mumbled a goodbye before running off to class.

Olivia squealed with excitement before pulling you into a tight hug, “OMG!!! Y/N!! He is so into you!”

“No way! He’s probably just trying to put the past behind us,” you rolled your eyes at Olivia’s enthusiasm.

However, as lunch approached, you found butterflies growing in your stomach. Were you scared or nervous? Why?? It was just lunch. Rafe did look very different, and you couldn’t deny that he was a little cute, but you still felt anxious to see what lunch would bring.

The bell rang out, releasing you from your last class before lunch. Your stomach was in knots as you walked to the cafeteria. You grabbed your food slowly, letting people filter into the seats and trying to spot Rafe.

He confidently walked in with his friends in tow, all of them laughing loudly as they made their way to a table near the back of the cafeteria.

You swallowed your nerves, clutching your lunch tray tightly before approaching their table.

Rafe stood up, grinning at you before wrapping an arm around your shoulders and leading you to a seat before pushing you down onto it, “here, sit next to me.”

He sat beside you introducing you to all of his friends at the table, “that’s Topper, Kelce, Byce, and Joey.”

“Hi,” you nervously told the boys your name.

After meeting them, the conversation moved on to discussing all of the cool things they had done this summer. You even chimed in yourself and they all seemed interested in what you had to say.

Rafe opened his lunchbox before sighing in disappointment and chuckling, “my dumbass parents forgot the silverware again.”

He looked down at his leftover spaghetti, seemingly with no fork or spoon in sight.

Feeling like you wanted to repay Rafe for inviting you to sit with him and his friends, you told him you could grab it.

When you stood and turned to walk away, you heard the entire table break out into loud laughter.

You whipped around, nervously meeting Rafe’s eye.

“What’s so funny?” You demanded, raising your voice to cut through their snickers.

Your panic caught the attention of the students around you, who also began laughing.

“Looks like Aunt Flo is in town, Y/L/N.” Rafe cackled, and your cheeks flushed with embarrassment as you realized what was going on.

On the seat that you had just been in, beside Rafe, you could see red paint drying to the seat.

Without thinking, you reached behind and your heart clenched when you felt wetness on your bottom, and you looked down to see the same red paint now smeared on your hand.

Rafe and his friends burst into laughter, along with the other tables that had been nearby when you stood up.

The cacophony caught the attention of the other students seated further away, who noticed your seemingly blood stained shorts and started laughing along at you.

You had never felt so publicly shamed in your life, and you realized that you were dead wrong to assume that Rafe had changed at all.

You didn’t think he could ever turn over a new leaf now.

Hot tears sprang to your eyes as you ran out of the cafeteria, sprinting to a bathroom stall to lock yourself in as you cried.

After 5 minutes of ugly sobbing, you finally collected yourself and decided to go to the front office to see if they could help you.

Not wanting to mention the fact that you had been pranked, you tied your sweater around your waist and asked them if they had shorts you could borrow.

Luckily enough for you, they did and you were able to get changed as everyone in the lunch period filtered out to their next classes.

You grabbed a note from the office before rushing to your class, 3 minutes after the final bell had rung.

Entering the classroom, you tried to ignore the soft chuckled and looks of recognition you got, but your stomach clenched when you realized there was only one seat left.

Right in front of Rafe.

He sneered at you as you sat down, and you did your best to ignore him.

Halfway through class, his hot breath at your ear nearly made you jump out of your skin.

“Why were you so late to class, huh? Already running to mommy and daddy to tattle?” His whispered voice gave you chills and you ignored him, with great difficulty.

After whispering to you several more times and trying to get a rise out of you, he seemingly gave up.

Until you felt his finger hook underneath your bra strap at your back, pulling it back before snapping it against your skin.

You let out a gasp before spinning around in your chair to glare at him, “what’s your problem?!”

Rafe’s lips curled into a small smirk before responding, “what? I didn’t do anything.”

At this point your English teacher had noticed your outburst, walking over to you and Rafe with a stern look.

“Why are you disrupting my lesson? This better be good.”

You parted your lips, ready to respond, but Rafe beat you to it.

“I don’t know what’s going on with her, she just snapped at me,” he laid the charm on thick and you rolled your eyes.

“He’s lying!”

“Quiet, both of you! I don’t want to hear a word from either of you the rest of this class.” She chastised you, and you felt your cheeks burn with shame.

It just reminded you of him getting you in trouble years ago and you couldn’t believe that history was repeating itself.

The rest of your freshman year was no easier, with Rafe continuing to torture you and try to get you in trouble at school.

He never missed an opportunity to call you a ‘dirty Pogue,’ or shove you against the hard lockers whenever he spotted you in the hall.

Of course, no matter how many times you reported this to the school, often with witnesses, they always had their hands tied behind their back and deep in the pockets of Ward Cameron, who used his money and influence to shield his golden child of any and all consequences for his actions.

Sophomore year, his preferred method of torture was having his buddies pick on you in gym class. They would pummel you with dodgeballs as you huddled in the corner, the gym teacher laughing too hard to stop them.

Junior year, he broke into your locker, stealing all of your textbooks and breaking the locker door. Conveniently, the cameras were down that day and because you couldn’t prove that Rafe had done it, you and your parents had to pay for new textbooks and a new locker door.

Senior year, he and all of his friends on the football team took immense sadistic pleasure from whistling at and catcalling you whenever they saw you, albeit in or out of school.

You never assumed that he had suddenly had a change of heart about you and was now interested in you. No, you knew that this was just Rafe trying to get under your skin and make you as uncomfortable as possible.

To him, harassing you had clearly become a game, one that you were growing extremely weary of as it went ignored by school staff for longer and longer.

The sick grin that would spread across his face as you squirmed in front of him proved how much he enjoyed toying with you.

Despite Rafe literally chasing you down the hallway while repeatedly calling you a ‘slut’ at full volume because you had worn a shorter skirt to school than usual one time, none of the teacher or administrators ever took your side.

For four years, Rafe Cameron made your life a living hell, and you still just couldn’t understand why.

Yes, he hated Pogues, that much was clear to you after seeing his treatment of your friends, but he seemed to harbor a deeper resentment towards you than he did towards anyone else.

No one else was ever on the receiving end of such hateful and calculated behavior, and your friends all agreed that he seemed to have it out for you specifically.

When graduation rolled around, you were less excited about graduating high school than you were to finally be done with Rafe.

Considering the fact that you were off to college while he was going to community college in Outer Banks also gave you a sense of pride. Despite his wealthy background and many privileges, you were still starting your future on a better foot, looking forward to attending Duke University on a full ride scholarship.

Your first year there was a dream come true, a whirlwind of meeting new friends, working hard in your classes, and going out to parties for the first time.

Without Pogue vs Kook bullshit poisoning the air, you found that you were finally able to be yourself and find your real identity.

Dating was still somewhat new to you, but you had at the very least lost your virginity first semester of college on a hookup with a cute guy.

It wasn’t anything special, but it could have been worse, and you were just excited to get more experience as college went on.

After the second semester ended, you packed up your dorm room to move back to Outer Banks for the summer, excited to reconnect with old friends.

Which is how you found yourself in the front seat of your friend’s car, parked in the driveway outside of a huge house party as you quickly fixed your make up last minute.

“Let’s go, Y/N! My pregame buzz is already starting to wear off!” Olivia complained from the backseat and you quickly put away your makeup before giving yourself a once over in the car mirror.

“Are you really trying that hard to impress Outer Banks boys when the Duke hotties are just a summer away??” Jade asked beside you.

“I just want to be ready for whatever the night brings,” you giggled. “I’m keeping my options open for now.”

The girls laughed along with you.

“Well you look hot as fuck already, let’s gooo!” Jade opened her car door and stepped out before you could get another word in.

“Okay, fine!”

You stepped out of the car, feeling very confident in your short party dress and heels.

Walking up to the large, imposing house, you could already hear the music pulsing loudly from inside. There were people standing outside to talk and you recognized one or two of them, saying “hi!” on your way in.

Everything was much louder inside the luxurious house, which was absolutely packed with people. The deep bass of the music rumbled throughout the house, rattling around in your ribcage.

Since Olivia and Jade had gone to parties here before, you let them lead you into the kitchen where the drinks were.

A large variety of beers, hard liquor, seltzers, and jungle juice greeted you inside, but you headed straight for the jungle juice.

“Ooh it’s blue tonight!” Olivia noticed, “I bet it’s gonna be super sour.”

You poured yourself a glass before taking a sip to try it. It tasted like blue raspberry, and the alcohol level made you gag in surprise at first, but on the second try you found that you liked it a lot.

“It’s good! Wait should we all do a shot together too?” You locked eyes with your friends, a mischievous grin spreading across your face.

“Fuck yes,” Olivia cheered.

“I’m in!” Jade added and you poured out 3 shots.

Grabbing your shot glass, you raised it up, along with the other girls.

“Cheers!” You clinked them together, then tapped it down onto the table once before throwing it back.

“Okay, can we find the hot guys now?” Olivia joked and you nodded in agreement, reaching to pick up your drink.

Your hand slipped as you grabbed the plastic glass however, and it fell off the counter, spilling it’s contents all over the floor.

“Shit!” You cursed, looking around for some paper towels.

Your friends grabbed a roll off the fridge and handed it to you.

“Ugh I’m sorry!” You apologized as you got onto your hands and knees to clean up the mess. “Hey, you guys should scope out the people in the next room.”

“Ooh that’s a good idea! Let’s go Liv!” Jade grabbed Olivia by the arm and pulled her out of the kitchen, leaving you alone to mop up the sticky drink with paper towels.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” Rafe’s easily recognizable drawl made goosebumps erupt across your skin, and you froze in place. “Didn’t expect to see you here tonight.”

All of the sounds of the party seemed to zone out as you quickly stood up, turning to face him.

When you looked up at the man who now towered far above you, you could tell that he had changed in the year since you last saw him.

Rafe had never been a skinny guy, especially when he had played football throughout high school, but now he seemed more ripped than you had ever seen him. Clearly he had been using a lot of his time away from school to build up his physique.

You also noticed that he seemed to have grown into his face more, looking more lean and handsome than he did in high school.

The smirk that was plastered on his face was all too familiar to you though. It was the look he always had when he was playing games with you.

“Hi, Rafe,” you nervously answered. “I could say the same.”

He paused, his gaze flitting down before slowly working its way up your body. His blue eyes narrowed as they met yours and you repressed a full body shiver.

“It’s my house,” he took a step closer to you and you instinctively took one back. He chuckled at that. “That’s why I’m so surprised to see you, ‘specifically looking so dolled up.”

His words surprised you and you mentally kicked yourself for not pressing the girls for more details about whose party you were going to.

Honestly you were just surprised and a little hurt that Olivia and Jade would choose to bring you here knowing your history with Rafe.

“I- I had no clue this was your house,” you stammered, taking another step back to create more space between you and the taller man.

Despite the muffled sounds of the party around you, and the knowledge that your friends were just down the hall, you felt so incredibly alone in the now all too cramped kitchen.

“How’s Duke been treating you?” His face was even, but his nasally tone betrayed a hint of disdain.

“It’s been…” you paused, unsure what the best thing to say would be. “It’s been really good. My first year was easier than I expected, but still interesting.”

He was silent, just studying your face for a moment. Rafe’s nose twitched before he let out a flat, “that’s good.”

Already feeling a heightened anxiety from being around him, and feeling distrustful about his questions, you were ready to exit this conversation.

With your drink clutched in your hand, you made a weak excuse about needing to catch up with Olivia and Jade before trying to walk around him.

You were shocked however when he suddenly moved as you walked by, his fingers wrapping around your arm just above your elbow and stopping you in your tracks.

“What are you doing? Let go of me,” You demanded, looking up at him in confusion and trying to tug your arm out of his grasp.

He moved in front of you, blocking your exit path with his grip still firm on your arm.

“C’mon, wait a second, I- I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. I know I was really an asshole to you when we were younger, but that was so long ago, y’know? Could you just let me apologize to you?”

His words came out somewhat stammered, but still confident, and due to the forced proximity you could probably deduce why.

Rafe’s pupils were blown wide, his free hand gesturing in a jittery manner that could only point to one conclusion.

He was high as fuck.

“Please just- let go of me!” You begged with him again.

His eyes darkened, jaw tightening in annoyance as he looked down his nose at you. Rafe huffed, his lips parting to say something else but he was interrupted.

“Hey, what the fuck is going on here?”

You had never felt happier to hear Olivia’s voice. Glancing over Rafe’s shoulder, you could see her and Jade standing in the doorway glaring at Rafe.

Rafe immediately released you and you quickly rushed over to your friends.

“We were just catching up,” Rafe spoke with a casual ease as he turned to face you, like he hadn’t just corned you all alone at his party. It reminded you of all of the times you had tried to report him to teachers, only for him to sweet talk his way out of punishment.

“See ya around, Y/N.”

You shot him a dirty look before rushing out of the kitchen with Olivia and Jade in tow.

“What was that??” Jade asked as soon as the three of you were in the crowded living room.

“Better question, did you guys know this was Rafe Cameron’s house?” You angrily asked them.

You were still feeling shaken by the interaction. Maybe you should have anticipated that he would at the very least be at this party, but you had never expected he would be the one hosting it.

Olivia’s face dropped and she anxiously apologized, “Oh shit, I’m sorry. I honestly figured we wouldn’t run into him since there’s always just so many people here.”

“It’s okay,” you sighed. “He’s just being his normal, weird and creepy self. We probably won’t even see him again the rest of the night.”

You took a large swig of your drink to calm your nerves.

What this night needed was a distraction from Rafe Cameron, and you, Jade, and Olivia were still determined to have a good time tonight.

The three of you walked through the large house, coming across many familiar faces from high school.

Even while catching up with old friends though, you felt incredibly uneasy.

The feeling that there was a pair of eyes trained on you was burning at the back of your neck, and you weren’t surprised when you peeked behind yourself at one point to spot Rafe standing about 10 feet away among a group of guys.

Even when you met his gaze, his eyes didn’t flick away, and you shivered as he took a long drink from his solo cup, eyes never leaving yours.

Turning away from him and tuning your attention back into your friends, you couldn’t help but question yourself.

Were you crazy or was he looking at you differently?

The only times that he had even shown any interest in talking with you was before he was about to publicly humiliate you in some horrible way, but this time felt different.

There was something more behind his eyes that you couldn’t identify that raised alarms in your head.

No matter where you, Jade, and Olivia went, it seemed like Rafe wasn’t far behind. Despite joining the different groups nestled just out of view, you would catch a glimpse of him that would spike your pulse.

Your paranoia didn’t want you to get another drink. You felt almost unreasonably nervous about what might happen if Rafe trapped you alone, but you felt reassured by Jade and Olivia’s presence, emboldening you to serve yourself one more cup of the jungle juice.

That confidence quickly fizzled however, when halfway through finishing your drink, Jade found a cute guy to hook up with and split off from you and Olivia.

Olivia was quick to leave as well, despite your pleas that she stay with you, “there’s plenty of people you know here, Y/N! Just lighten up a bit, you’ll be fine!”

With neither of your friends beside you, you suddenly felt very alone and you looked around the room, hoping to find any high school acquaintances you could catch up with to avoid the awkward nervousness you felt right now.

Unluckily, you didn’t recognize anyone, so you threw back the rest of your drink and started making the rounds.

Downstairs yielded no results, so you made your way upstairs, hoping to find either Olivia and Jade or other friends to talk to.

You checked several rooms only to be unsuccessful in finding anyone that you knew.

Jade and Olivia hadn’t been responding to your texts and you were starting to get annoyed.

Upon finding another empty bedroom, you frustratedly sat down, pulling your phone out of your pocket to call one of them.

The sound of the door closing caught your attention, and you raised your head to see Rafe Cameron standing in front of the now closed bedroom door.

“Rafe?” Confusion tinged your shaky voice as you sat up, staring at him in the dimly lit room.

He got closer to the bed, never taking his eyes off of you. “D’you have any clue how crazy you drove me all through high school?”

A pit began to form in your stomach at his words and your throat felt tight as you looked up at the imposing blond.

His hair was disheveled, words slurring together as his angry blue eyes cut through you.

“What the hell are you talking about? If I remember correctly, you were the one torturing me!” You snipped back at him.

“You have no idea-” he sniffed, rubbing a shaky finger under his nose. “You think you’re so much better than me, hm?”

Rafe took another step closer and you shrunk in on yourself nervously, eyes darting to the door behind his looming figure. He seemed much more drunk and high now, a fact that made you even more uncomfortable.

“I- I don’t think that Rafe,” you stammered. “I never said that-”

“You didn’t have to, Y/N,” he bitterly sneered. “Y’moved out of Outer Banks for a year and now you think that makes you feel so high and mighty around the rest of us.”

“Rafe-”

“What makes you so special, hm?” He spat out, moving closer, now inches away from where you sat on the bed.

Your body was buzzing with anxious energy, but you felt frozen to the spot, completely caught off guard by this outburst from Rafe. There was nothing you could do to get yourself to move.

You had encountered Rafe when he had been drunk or high several times before, he was no stranger to coming to high school intoxicated. But you had never been trapped alone with him and completely at his mercy before and you couldn’t push down the nagging feeling that something awful was about to happen if you didn’t leave the room.

“You’re just Pogue trash, and let’s be real, it won’t be long till you fail out of college and you’re walking the streets of Outer Banks like the slut you are,” he growled and your cheeks heated up in anger.

You brought one arm up to push him back from you, but he snatched your wrist, fingers tightening around you painfully.

You let out a cry when he twisted your arm behind your back and he chuckled at the tears kissing your waterline.

“Still just the same uptight bitch you’ve always been, huh?” His eyes flitted down to your lips for a moment. He was so close you could clearly smell the alcohol on his hot breath.

“Let go of me, Rafe,” you whispered, voice shaking with fear. Sure, Rafe had been a nightmare before, but you never even imagined he would take it this far.

The taller man let out a short chuckle that sent a chill up your spine.

“Or what?” He smirked down at you, clearly enjoying your dismay at the situation he had forced you into. “Gonna tattle to a teacher?”

Your chest and throat felt tight, panic beginning to build inside you as you tried to deny what you were sure couldn’t be true.

“This isn’t fucking funny, Rafe.” You weakly tried, desperately hoping that this was just another one of his twisted pranks that he was taking too far to watch you squirm.

“You still think this is a joke, sweetheart?” He sneered, Figure Eight cockiness dripping from his nasally voice.

Time seemed to slow as Rafe leaned down, his lips covering yours as he released your wrist and locked his arm around the small of your back.

For a moment you were too shocked to react, but you quickly reached one arm up to push at his chest. Instead of pushing him away from you however, your force made you fall back against the bed, bringing him down with you.

He shamelessly grabbed at your waist, before trailing up, hands reaching past the neckline of your dress and traveling up to grope your tits as his lips found yours again.

You could barely process what was happening, your head still spinning from the alcohol. Rafe’s lips moved against yours, trailing across your cheek when your turned your head away from him to gasp for air.

One of his hands roughly grabbed your chin, pulling your jaw back towards him, and your stomach flipped at the feeling of him pushing his tongue into your mouth and groaning into the kiss.

When he shifted on top of you, grabbing your legs and spreading them apart, you struggled against him. Squirming on the bed, you managed to crawl away from him a bit, but his large hands grabbed your legs, pulling you back underneath him.

You froze when his fingers wrapped around your throat and you looked up at him with wide, nervous eyes.

“Stop fucking moving,” he huffed, forcing his free hand between your legs. He roughly pushed your dress up, pausing when he drank in your pink, lacy panties underneath.

Rafe licked his lips, a cruel smirk spreading across his face, “guess you’re not so innocent anymore, huh?”

Tears filled your eyes as you squirmed beneath him and the hand at your throat pressed down harder, pinning you in place.

His fingers ghosted over your core and you tilted your hips away from him, squeezing your thighs shut against his wandering hand.

Rafe’s eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, his blue eyes darkening as he scowled down at you.

“Y’know, I was almost gonna be nice to you…” His scowl disappeared as he trailed off, his pink lips curving into a sick grin. “But if you want to make this difficult, I can make it difficult too.”

You watched with fearful eyes as he reared one hand back, unable to flinch away due to his iron grip on your throat.

The cacophony of the party muffled your cry of pain when he slapped you hard. His golden rings made your cheek sting even more and you couldn’t stop your tears from spilling over.

Your ears were still ringing when you felt his hand leave your throat, but you were too dazed from the slap to react. Rafe’s impatient fingers dug into the skin of your thighs as he pulled your panties down your legs.

Time slowed as you could hear your heart thundering in your chest and you leaned up on your elbows to watch Rafe push his shorts down before palming his already hard cock. He was bigger than the guy you lost your virginity to, and much thicker.

Tongue thick and heavy in your mouth, you tried to tell him to stop, but the blood was rushing in your ears so loudly you couldn’t hear your own voice.

Rafe heard you though, and you watched him roll his eyes before ignoring your pleas.

He shifted on top of you, roughly parting your legs before placing himself between them. The blond wrapped a hand around the base of his cock, guiding it to your core and you struggled beneath him when he dragged the tip along your already slick lips.

“Fuck-” his low groan made your stomach flip. You reached up one hand to weakly push at his shoulders, but he swatted you away.

There was nothing you could do but watch as he planted one hand on the mattress to brace himself before pushing the tip of his cock between your folds and forcing himself inside your tight cunt.

“Rafe-” Your protest was cut off when his hand slapped over your mouth. Hot tears fell past your lashes as Rafe slowly stretched you out inch by inch.

His piercing eyes never left yours, watching your face with a sick delight as he violated you.

You shifted uncomfortably beneath him as he split you open, and you winced when he grabbed your arm, fingers digging in to your tender flesh.

You whimpered when his tip grazed your cervix. The blond tilted his hips back before pushing himself deep into you again.

Rafe let out a shaky breath, his cock twitching as you squeezed around him.

“Shit, if I knew you felt this good, I would’ve tried you out years ago,” he chuckled darkly, words slurring together.

His hand was removed from your mouth only to be replaced by his lips. You shuddered when he forced his tongue into your mouth, and you could taste the liquor on his lips.

Rafe pulled away from the kiss as he slowly began rocking his hips back and forth, stretching you out around his thick cock again and again.

Your hands came to his shoulders, nails digging in to his tanned skin as you tried to slow his pace.

Unfortunately, your attempts only amused Rafe, who sneered down at you cruelly before picking up his pace, forcing himself deep into your snug walls.

Intoxication clouded your mind, and the room seemed to be spinning even faster now.

“Fuck-” you moaned when he hit a spot that made you see stars. “Mm please-”

You were momentarily broken from the spell however when one of Rafe’s strong hands wrapped around your throat, stealing your breath.

When you tensed in fear, involuntarily squeezing around his cock, Rafe groaned, watching your misty, fearful eyes roll back in your head with each thrust.

“You look so pretty right now, Y/N. All teary eyed and cock drunk,” the blond whispered.

You wanted so badly to be able to escape, to avoid the wicked things he was doing to you, but you were so painfully aware, as every sensation was heightened by your terror.

Hips still snapping against yours, Rafe leaned down, his hungry lips finding yours. With his hand at your throat, you couldn’t turn away, and you clenched around him when he pushed his tongue into your mouth. His lips slid over yours greedily, refusing to stop until you clutched at the hand at your throat.

You took a gasping breath when he finally pulled away, your tears falling more freely now, and Rafe kissed your cheeks, licking up your salty tears.

“Perfect little Y/N is such a mess, huh?” He mocked you, mumbling against your skin before sloppily kissing you again.

You couldn’t deny the overwhelming feeling building between your legs, no matter how much it disgusted you. Shame clutched you when you felt yourself growing slicker with his every thrust.

“Don’t-” you whimpered when he hit a sensitive spot. “Stop-!”

Your assailant snickered at that, relishing your pitiful protests, “do you even know what you want right now? Y’think you’re so smart, till you take some cock and you turn into a stupid slut.”

His degrading words cut deep and your cheeks flushed in humiliation, tears spilling past your lashes.

Rafe’s pace was downright punishing, the sound of his balls slapping against your ass along with the lewd sounds of your wetness filled the room, punctuated by your whimpers and the coerced moans he drew out of you.

Hatred and resentment burned behind his blue eyes as he watched you squirm beneath him, only taking his eyes off of your face to watch his cock push in and out of your tight cunt.

Drawing even closer to the edge, you could feel the dam inside of you ready to burst, and Rafe could too; you were practically pulsing around him now.

“Yeah, that’s it sweetheart.” His low, nasally voice made your stomach flip, and you squeezed your eyes shut as you tried to resist the inevitable. “Just do the one thing stupid sluts like you are good for and make a mess all over my cock.”

With another thrust, the dam burst, and you whined as your orgasm cut through you.

Rafe fucked you through it, cursing when he felt you squeezing around him like a vice. His grip on your throat tightened as his pace reached a crescendo.

“Fuck-” he growled, his hips stuttering before he pushed deep into you one more time, painting your walls with his sticky cum.

You squirmed beneath him, trying to push him off of you, but he easily grabbed your wrists, pining them down as he stayed buried inside you. You felt nauseous when his cock pulsed as you struggled, the reminder that he was still getting off on your distress was sickening.

His lips draped over yours again and you whimpered into the kiss, body still shaking as you tried to wrap your head around what had just happened.

By the time he broke the kiss, your head was spinning, and you somehow felt more drunk than when you had first entered the room.

When Rafe finally pulled out of you, you shuddered because you could feel his cum slowly leaking out of you.

Instead of getting off the bed like you expected, the blond shifted on top of you, lowering himself to get a better view of your sore pussy.

“Shit, Y/N, hope you’re on a good birth control,” he chuckled wickedly, and you squirmed when he used two fingers to push his cum deep inside of your sensitive cunt. “Cause there’s no way in hell I’m paying child support for some Pogue brat.”

Your cheeks burned in anger and shame, fear and disgust sparking in your gut at his words.

Rafe pulled his fingers out and climbed off the bed, quickly pulling his clothes back on before seemingly looking around for something as you slowly sat up.

He found what he was looking for, picking up your pink panties from the ground before locking eyes with you and then stuffing them into his pocket.

You shivered as he triumphantly smirked down at you, “I’m gonna.. get back to the party... You should clean yourself up, you look pathetic right now.”

Embarrassed, you looked down at the bed, not wanting to meet his eyes as he further humiliated you.

“And uh, don’t let me catch you alone again, Y/N,” Rafe sneered, laughing as he closed the door behind him.

[suiana]

✎ yandere! idol headcanons . . .

✎ warnings . . .

― blackmail, slight nsfw etc.

(gn! reader x male yandere! oc)

‎

��� yandere! idol who used to be a normal high school student, with you as his beloved best friend.

✎ yandere! idol who only became an idol when you complimented his singing and dancing skills and then jokingly asked him to be one.

✎ yandere! idol who took your words seriously and auditioned for a big idol company, easily getting in without much trouble. he also blackmailed them to get in but you don't need to know that <3

✎ yandere! idol who debuted in a boy group ten months after training, instantly becoming one of the most popular and adored Idols ever.

✎ yandere! idol who makes time to talk to you amidst his hectic schedule. if his manager doesn't give him time to talk to you they will find themselves with a frozen bank account the next day! :)

✎ yandere! idol who ignores what everyone else says, they never mattered anyway. only you did, everything he does is for you <3

✎ yandere! idol who describes you when asked about his ideal type on variety shows and interviews. he never says your name in order to protect your privacy but anyone who knows of you would be able to piece together the information.

✎ yandere! idol who hates that he now has to meet you secretly in order to not upset his fans. maybe he should just blackmail the CEO...

✎ yandere! idol who skips his training and photoshoots to hang out with you more. he won't tell you that of course! he just knows that you'll scold him and make him go back. so he'll just keep it a secret and lie to you if you ask <3 he hates being away from you :(

✎ yandere! idol who, despite getting praises and love confessions on a daily basis, still gets flustered when you just sit or stand closer to him. and if you compliment him, expect him to get all shifty trying to cover up his problem down there <3

✎ "hey y/n, did you listen to my lines in my group's comeback? we should re-enact them some time~♡"

[sugarydolli]

dilf!bakugou fluff (/ω＼) :.*+

slightly pudgy cheeks flushed red with anger and tight vermilion peer up meeting your face of a sour mixture between regret and irritation. A heavy sigh fell from your lips, pinching the bridge of your nose.

"Now why on earth would you attack your classmate?"

A call from Kazu's third grade teacher surprised you, hearing that your eight year old assaulted another child at her school. To learn later that the boy stole another student's bag of chips, your child bravely stepped in, pouncing and punching him until separated.

"It's what dad told me to do mom! He said you're supposed to defend ci-vili-ans!" stomping a little while testing the last word on her tongue. You started to regret your decision to allow her to train a little with her father, thinking that it would help her be a little more responsible with her quirk.

You couldn't find the words to even begin to scold her, especially when her pout was so damn cute, ash blonde pigtails loosened from all your hard work this morning, tight lips replicating Katsuki's infamous scowl, plump little fist wave back and forth as she desperately tries to explain herself. No, you weren't strong enough to scold her.

But maybe someone else is.

୨୧

Crayola crayons fall onto the wooden table as soon as heavy boots come barreling through the door. Soft little paddles ring against the tile, Kazu jumping up and down to shortly being swooped up into Katsuki thick arms.

"I heard someone was a little shit today"

Two thick fingers pinch plump rosy cheeks, his tone indicating he was proud rather than upset, you scoffed at the scene, arms folded against your chest turning off to the television—promptly starting to make your way upstairs.

"Taking up after me, huh brat-" cutting a piercing look shot in his direction killed the words on his tongue, he cleared his throat—setting Kazu down, Katsuki kneeled becoming eye level with her.

Kazu's cheeks flushed, that same scowl creeping back onto her face. Her small hands pressed flush against her chest.

"You know better than to fight your classmates, What's gotten-" Katsuki knew that look. He knew what's next before it even played out, and he loathed it.

Katsuki's attempt at a "I'm so disappointed" face morphed into worry, worry to a sour mix of misery and rage. It's not foreign for a father to have trouble scolding his baby girl and Katsuki was no different. A strong part of him screamed 'fuck this, kid probably deserved it anyway', words clawing up his throat viscously only to be forced back by the reminder of expulsion if she does it again.

"I just wanted—wanted to be jus' like you."

Tears threatened her lash line, lips formed into a pout, puffed up cheeks. A chubby fist swiped fat tears quickly, a thumb wiping off the next.

"Kazu—baby. Listen, I know you meant well but, bein’ a hero doesn't always mean beatin' people up.” glassy scarlet peer up at him, bottom lip still trembling. “It doesn’t..?”

“‘course not, it’s about, uhh, problem solving and protecting people using methods that doesn’t always include your hands.” A thick hand ruffles the top of her hair, Kazu’s tears no longer flowing.

“One day, when you are a hero—best hero ever—you’ll understand.”

"But for now brat, just let me handle all the real villains!" Kazu cheerfully nodded, cheeks burning bright as before, a short silence fell over as Katsuki anticipated his next question—gazing up at the stairs, searching for your figure before turning his attention back.

"Did you get 'em good? Right in the eyes like I showed you?"

enjoy!! (๑>◡<๑)

[777gojosgf]

ALWAYS AN ANGEL NEVER A GOD

777GOJOSGF IS TYPING…

777gojosgf: tired!reader x satoru gojo

IN WHERE :: no matter how hard you try, your efforts will never be recognized as much as the ones of the strongest sorcerer.

a/n :: angsty time!

YOU STARED AT THE mission report containing information on your latest mission handed out by the principal and that pitiful feeling swarmed in your belly. it didn’t make sense. you had a perfect score on everything but somehow it wasn’t considered enough and you were still not named a special grade.

it certainly couldn’t be your fault, not when you had spent morning and night training at the grounds of jujutsu high. you barely had an ounce of sleep as you had tackled the training dummies for hours, trying to boost your stamina by running for miles and trying to adapt to your cursed technique. you had never taken a break, always having your eye on the prize.

you were always ahead of everyone at a young age when you still attended a normal public high school, excelling at every subject and the teachers always praising you for your efforts and high marks. but everything was different now that you were suffocated by the terrors and demands of the jujutsu world.

in the realm of jujutsu, you had become lost in an abyss, and you were no longer the greatest. the smartest, the one you had to defeat to win. no, you had lost your prodigy label and had to start over because intelligence was not the sole requirement for survival. to learn how to fight and defend yourself, you must have physical strength. act rationally rather than emotionally.

as a result, you trained yourself until you were blue and bruised, and there was never a day when you didn't start the day with a morning workout and/or a night session. you had this need to be the greatest at everything, unsure of whose approval you sought. it did not matter. you only wanted the gratification of doing good and being respected for it, to be feared rather than despised. however, your hard work was in vain because you were not promoted to a higher level.

what the fuck did they want from you?

and when was it ever enough?

before you realised it, you had crushed the mission report, which had fallen from your strong hold onto the floor. you weren't sure if you were angry or sad; maybe it was a combination of the two that was boiling deep inside and surging through your body. it was so puzzling because you had trained yourself and knew the answer to everything. missions were no trouble for you, and even single missions went well; why the heck haven't you been named a special grade yet?

“what has gotten you into such a buzz?” you heard coming from down the hallway as you turned around only to face the sorcerer you had envied the moment you had become a jujutsu sorcerer yourself. of course it was the fucking six eyes himself.

with lengthy steps, he effortlessly filled the gap between the two of you, his gaze drawn to the crumbled paper on the ground. he used his skill to raise it up and unfold it so he could read what it stated, but he didn't understand why you were so upset about it. it was an excellent mission report, with no further casualties or difficulties. what was the big deal?

"you. the higher-ups. fucking everything, okay?! i’ve worked my fucking ass off for years. i still have the scars from when i initially visited these grounds and worked out till i fucking blacked out, just to resume once i woke up. do you realise how damn fortunate you are? how do you get practically everything? you can do whatever the fuck you want because you are goddamn gojo satoru— that is my problem." you yelled angrily with shaking legs and hands, angry tears welling up in your eyes, but you knew it wasn't fair because he hadn't chosen this kind of life and how everything turned out was simply a matter of luck, but you couldn't keep your indifference hidden.

if he had felt hurt by that, you wouldn’t have known because there wasn’t any kind of feeling displayed on his face. instead, he leaned against the wall with a blank expression and averted his gaze away from you, a small sigh escaping him.

suddenly it had felt as if the world collapsed on you as you slid against the wall and eventually sat on the ground with your arms on top of your knees, your head buried into your arms as the angry tears had trailed down your face. it wasn’t fair. nothing was fair. the higher ups, him, but also the way you reacted wasn’t something he deserved that and you knew that deep down. but still— it was bound to come out sometime.

“i’m so tired…” you whispered to practically no one at all with a shaky breath, your eyes closing as you felt a headache starting due to the amount of crying and a strained voice by yelling. you had expected him to leave and find something useful to do, to not take this venting bullshit from you.

instead, you sensed his presence next to you as he sat down with his legs spread out on the floor. his back was leaning against the wall as he looked up, but he hadn't said anything yet, and you weren't sure whether he was going to. it did have a strangely soothing sense with him seated next to you.

soon enough, he had silently wrapped his arm around you and moved you closer to him. you hadn’t questioned any of his actions, you couldn’t when it felt as if there was a cloud above your head. Instead you nestled into his side and looked up at him teary eyed. “i’m sorry.” you breathed out defeated and gave him a weak smile which he only shaked his head to in response.

"don’t worry about it. you have a point, but i didn’t chose this either. you know? but it's true that they haven't been treating you fairly; i expected you'd be promoted months, if not years ago." he remarked, but he couldn't meet your gaze even though he had removed his blindfold, his white hair strewn haphazardly across his head. you merely nodded, about to open your month and clarify that it wasn't his fault, when he placed a finger on your lips, causing you to scowl.

it made him chuckle, the scowl you had on your face. he admired your feistiness and ability to stay strong even though things weren’t working out. perhaps it made you even stronger than him in a way.

“i know what you’re going to say, but i shouldn’t have showed off my abilities everywhere. however, i’ll fix this. alright? you just go and have a good night sleep.” he reassured you which only left you confused. how was he going to fix this and what for? you had basically just thrown a tantrum like a small child.

your thoughts were interrupted as you felt him drop a kiss on your head, causing blood to surge to your cheeks. you were about to comment on it, but he had already stood up and reapplied his blindfold, making his way to whatever he was planning to do.

"hey, satoru!" you yelled out from behind, still seated on the floor, arms on top of your knees. he came to a halt in his tracks and casually turned around; if you hadn't known better, you could have imagined there was a faint red glow on his own face.

“thank you.”

“no worries, y/n.”

the next morning, you awakened and put on your uniform, eager to get out of your room, until you discovered the mail slipped beneath your door. you frowned as you kneeled to the ground and picked up the letter. as you read what it stated, a huge grin appeared on your face, and a sense of victory ran through your body.

you were officially named a special grade.

you had no idea how satoru had done this or how he dealt with it, but you were extremely grateful. you realised you may not have earned what he had done for you after complaining about him in such a dramatic manner, but you couldn't help how you felt.

though it wasn’t long before you managed to figure out a way on how to thank him.

[positively-mine]

You’re a girl?!

how the twst boys find out you’re a girl & their reactions

tags: afab, accidental touches

a/n: very much self indulgent BUT I COUNDNT STOP THINKING 🤔 what if because it was a boys school that they didn’t have skirts and basically Crowley just made you wear the uniform & you didn't tell anyone. Like epel and lilia’s case, they just thought you were a feminine guy (p.s I just started and I haven’t read any spoilers, except for some info from reddit so I’m very sorry if this has already been covered/ revealed) very gacha coded but PLSSSSS bear this brain rot with me

Some spoilers: until book 3

Series: ❤️ 🧡 🩵 💛 💜 💙 💚

Ace

This can go two ways. Firstly, is that he was chasing deuce or Grimm around and you happen to be walking around the corner. And BAM. You’re both on the ground with him on top of you, caging you into his arms. With both his hands conveniently placed on two lumps on your chest. It takes him a good 3 seconds of staring and squeezing before he realises what they are. What you are. Immediately feels embarrassed and starts screaming and scarmbling to get up.

Orrr he has gotten so used to coming into ramshackle house as he pleases and barges into your room without knocking. You’re both guys, so what’s the problem? Big mistake. Because you’re changing and literally only in your under garments. He’s all red and hot faced before he’s running out of your room and the house into the walkway to calm himself down.

The next time he faces you, he’s apologising while avoiding eye contact. He knows you’ve been through thick and thin together but it really did feel as though his whole world view was shattered when he found out. When he’s hanging out with you, he’s much more careful of where he places his hand and tries to look out for you. Definitely tried to act more manly as well, like when there's an overblot about to happen he either pushes you behind him or blocks you with his body..

Deuce

The way i see this going down is that he’s got his gangster mode on from whatever trouble he’s gotten himself into (or for convenience sake; the broken eggs in book 1). And he’s trying to push you away to stop you from stopping HIM from picking a fight. And something soft hits his forearm. He turns to look at you chest before he quickly realises. He’s screaming like a banshee while moving as far away as he can from you. The initial quarrel was forgotten and now his head is spinning. Thoughts like “what would my mother think if she knew what i did??”, “HES A GIRL?! I MEAN SHE” and so on. The walk back to the kitchen is so quiet that you could basically hear Grimm’s grumbling all the way from Heartsbyul kitchen. Once you arrived back at the kitchen, the guys are wondering why its so quiet between you two but pay no mind to it.

He gets awkward around you every once in a while when realises how close the two of you are but still tries to make up for it. Also becomes more diligent in trying to withhold his gangster personality. He doesn’t want to show anymore of his nasty side to you when he can show you how well he can treat you. Lest he wants to lose you to some other guys…

Trey

This one's tough. I don't know if he has sisters so let's just say that he has. He's one of the first few to realize that you're a girl, being the ever observant person that he is. He sees the pattern when you start getting a little bit more emotional than you are. Snapping at Adeuce and Grimm when you're usually much more patient, getting upset at small things or when he catches you tearing up when you talk about returning to your own world. Yeah he definitely knows.

So it's no surprise when you start to receive more baked treats from him and he's piling up all sorts of nutritious food onto your plate when you sit together. The others are wondering why he's doing that when you're capable of doing it yourself. It's only after several months of this treatment that you realize he knows that you're a girl. And when you confront him about it, "I can't help but want to take care of you when I see you".

Riddle

I like to think that you’re having tea together. He’s invited you to another one of their dorm’s many reason to have tea. Grimm and Ace are fighting for the last cookie and accidentally knock into you as you pick up your teacup. Splashing the liquid all over your dress shirt. Riddle is of course, furious. Rule #363, never spill your tea. Especially on a Tuesday. He’s screaming at them both when his eyes move to check if you’re okay. And that’s when he sees some blue peeking out at the wet area of your shirt. It takes him a quick second to march over to you and drape his blazer over you. “You should go back and change. Make sure to take a warm bath unless you want to catch a cold.” You nod at him confusedly. He watches as you make your way down the steps. He turns to the rest of the members with pink tinted cheeks. “Unfortunately this tea party will have to be cancelled,” and he quickly turns back to walk to his dorm before anyone can say anything.

The next time you see him, his cheeks are tinted pink and he’s trying very hard to not make eye contact with you. Overall, most of your relationship stays the same except that he’s inviting you over for tea more often. But this time its just the two of you. And his excuse? It changes every time. Sometimes its because he says he wants to talk about Adeuce and Grimm’s behaviour, and sometimes it’s because he wants your thoughts on which tea set is better.

Cater

For his case, it's not that he found out, rather he overheard it from a rowdy pair of first years and a cat. He was walking to his next class and about to turn around the corner when he overheard their not so very hushed conversation. His eyes widen very similarly to the saucers that they use for tea. He's kind of upset that he didn't find out himself, but learned it through someone else. Oh well. It's a win-win situation for him anyways.

So when he starts being much more clingier to you and offering to walk you to your classes do you start to get suspicious. He’s always coming over to sit together at your table and visiting you at Ramshackle more. Lounging on the beaten up sofa while you do whatever work you have to. Keeping you company for as long as he can. Or at least until Riddle calls him back or you kick him out. Whichever comes first.

Now imagine there’s a celebration of some sort and he’s excitedly running up the steps to Ramshackle to formally invite you as his date. “I’ve got a surprise for you,” he smiles cheekily. And from behind him he pulls out a beautiful dress. “Will you be my date?” No misunderstanding his gestures now.

reblogs appreciated!

[weirdkpopgirl]

Friends Who Kiss | Chenle Fic #1

Title: Friends Who Kiss

Genre: Best friends to lovers, high school/college au

Warnings: mentions of the reader being insecure and having a mental breakdown at some point. a little suggestive, but not really

Word Count: ~ 5.6k

Author's Note: Okay to be very honest, I think that this story is kinda stupid and cliché. But it was an idea that I still wanted to try writing. And this is my first full-length fic for Chenle too, so I'm happy to post something for him. So to those who like cheesy romance stories, I hope you enjoy this. Thank you for reading ^ ^

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

Since the start of high school, Zhong Chenle has been a consistent part of your life. He arrived as a transfer student from Shanghai, while you were the reserved kid who often used studying as an excuse to avoid social interaction. So rather than you reaching out to him first, it was he who practically claimed you as his best friend. Your personalities were a striking contrast, but it proved to be the perfect balance. It didn't take long for the two of you to become inseparable.

However, your friendship took a turn in eleventh grade. You guys had gone to your house after school to do homework. Except it was mostly you working on assignments, while Chenle was animatedly ranting about some mobile game Jisung was terrible at playing.

“It’s unbelievable! Every time I check his character gets killed,” Chenle laughed, and you responded with a soft hum of acknowledgment.

The boy glanced up from his phone to find you engrossed in your textbooks. While your attention was focused on writing an essay, you were also trying to keep your mind from drifting to the unsettling conversation you had during lunch that day. Typically, you and Chenle sat together with his friends. But Jisung needed the boy’s help stalking his crush, so you found yourself sitting with some of the girls in your class. 

Sensing the inner conflict brewing in your mind, Chenle rose from the bed and leaned over your shoulder. 

“You've been at this since we got here. How is your brain not fried?” he asked, blunt as usual.

You shot the boy with an unappreciative glare. “It is fried. But our essay is due on Monday, and I still have to help you with yours.”

Chenle sighed, well aware of your enduring determination. Ever since he met you, he couldn’t understand why you stressed so much over assignments, especially when you always completed them before the due date. Then you somehow managed to go out of your way to ensure he was doing the same.

“You’re more than halfway finished, and I’ll get to mine on my own time,” He reassured, “Why don’t you take a break for now?”

Before you could protest, Chenle swiftly pulled you out of your chair and guided you to sit on the bed with him. Worry clouded his gaze. “Something’s troubling you, isn’t it?”

Your teeth sank into your lower lip, hating how Chenle knew you so well. He didn’t have a problem sharing what was on his mind, while you were the exact opposite. Yet, even a single look at you was enough for him to detect something was off.

“The girls at lunch were going on about their dating experiences and stuff,” you began to explain, your tone tinged with irritation at the memory. “They were all so surprised when I said I haven’t had my first kiss yet.”

You pushed yourself to meet Chenle's gaze, half dreading that he might burst into laughter. Instead, his expression held a hint of amusement, and that alone made you regret bringing up the topic.

Before he could respond, you hurriedly attempted to backtrack on your words. “It's stupid, I know—”

“It’s not stupid if it’s making you upset,” Chenle said firmly.

Leaning back in your seat, you let out an exasperated sigh. “I just can’t get their judgmental looks out of my head. All because I don’t have much experience with dating?”

Chenle's expression softened as he confessed, "There's nothing wrong with that, and there’s a lot of people like you. I haven't had my first kiss either."

“Really?!” You stared at him in disbelief. “Didn't you date Ko Mi-so though?”

Chenle scoffed, appearing slightly offended. “Okay, that happened such a long time ago. And we didn't even last a month, so we never kissed.”

Now that you thought about it, he was right about their relationship ending almost as quickly as it began. You recalled the time back in tenth grade when Chenle was quite smug about dating Mi-so, who happened to be the prettiest girl in class. Frankly, you were somewhat relieved when they broke up, given that she didn't particularly like you. Chenle hasn’t dated anyone since.

“Oh, I guess that makes sense,” your voice trailed off. 

The boy stayed silent for a moment before an idea dawned on him. “You know what? Why don’t we have our first kiss now?”

Your cheeks felt like they were competing for a world record in how quickly they heated up at Chenle's proposal. He couldn't possibly be serious.

“Did I hear you right?” you stammered, thoroughly taken aback by the suggestion.

Chenle nodded confidently, “I mean, we're best friends, so it's not that weird. And it's better than kissing someone we don't know as well or not have a connection with.”

You could kind of see his point. Having Chenle as your first kiss did seem much safer than kissing some random guy. Besides, it wasn’t like either of you had any underlying feelings for each other. This would solely be for practice.

“Alright,” you reluctantly agreed, “But you have to promise not to make fun of me if I turn out to be a bad kisser."

Chenle chuckled and nodded. He inched closer to you on the bed, leaving little space between the two of you. Although he saw you every day, having your face this near made a faint blush tinge his cheeks.

He started to lean in more before pausing. "Um, maybe you should close your eyes."

"Oh—right," you mumbled awkwardly, then took a deep breath before allowing your eyelids to shut.

He had to suppress a chuckle, finding you kinda cute in that moment. Before you had a chance to second-guess yourself, Chenle pressed his lips against yours in a tender kiss. Shortly after, he drew back, searching for your reaction.

“So, how was that?” He asked, voice laced with teasing.

You stared at him incredulously for a moment before realizing he was waiting for you to answer. “I suppose it was okay,” you mumbled.

Chenle tilted his head with an amused grin. “Just okay?”

“Yeah, I guess I didn't feel much because we're not really into each other like that,” you admitted with a nonchalant shrug.

Okay, you might have partially lied about not feeling much during the kiss. Truth be told, there was this strange, fluttery sensation in your chest when your best friend's lips grazed yours. But perhaps all first kisses were like that, and you were simply overthinking it.

The boy beside you let out a hearty laugh. “Well at least we got that over with.”

You had to muster all your self-control not to blush when he followed up with, “And you're not a bad kisser, by the way.”

Believing that the experiment was over, the two of you returned to your previous tasks. Nothing changed much after that day in your bedroom, as you and Chenle remained best friends. But little did you realize that this wouldn't be the last kiss you'd be sharing with him. 

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Despite your previous attempts to justify it, the second kiss you shared with Chenle happened partially because of you. As your senior year of high school unfolded, Chenle prepared for his performance at the spring festival. It was you who initially urged him to participate in the talent show. The countless times you had witnessed his piano playing and singing during your private moments together convinced you that he should share his talents with the world. Your compliments not only fueled Chenle’s ego but also prompted him to eagerly jot his name down on the sign-up sheet.

However, what you didn’t expect was to find him backstage, looking as pale as a ghost. He was supposed to go after a group of girls who were dancing to Red Velvet’s “Red Flavor.” With the intention of cheering him on in person, you spotted the dark-haired boy sitting on a chair, anxiously bouncing his legs.

“Last-minute jitters?" you asked softly.

Chenle glanced up at you and crossed his arms in a nonchalant manner. “What, me? I'm fine,” he replied, though his tone lacked conviction.

Just as Chenle knew you like the back of his hand, you were among the few who could read him. While he was partially correct about never being nervous, it didn't take an idiot to perceive that he was in that moment. It was evident he was trying to play it off to uphold his confident image. 

One aspect that troubled you about Chenle was his constant facade of cheerfulness and carefree demeanor. No one could genuinely be happy all the time, and he was the kind of person who concealed his negative feelings when around others.

After deliberating on how to address the situation, you gently rested your hand on his shoulder, bringing yourself to eye level with him.

“Hey, you’re going to be amazing out there,” you reassured him. “I’ve seen how many hours you put into practicing that song. You have nothing to worry about.”

Chenle let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah, you're right.”

The smile he bestowed upon you didn't quite convince you. Biting your lip in hesitation, you glanced around to ensure no one else was nearby. Once you were sure that you were alone, you leaned down and gently planted a kiss on the boy’s forehead. Chenle’s eyes widened in surprise at your actions.

“What was that for?”

Blushing, you took a step back and stammered, “Just for good luck, you know. I—I’ll be right there in the crowd, watching you. So if you feel nervous on stage, just look at me.”

A more reassured smile spread across Chenle’s lips and before he stood up to swiftly peck you on the lips, leaving you more stunned than he was a few seconds ago.

“There, I definitely feel more ready now,” he declared with a teasing glint. And the smug Chenle you were familiar with had returned.

As Chenle’s playfulness lingered in the air, the sound of the audience clapping erupted for the girls, putting an end to your “moment.” With a knowing look, you both parted ways, allowing Chenle to step into the spotlight for his performance.

As he took the stage, you found a spot in the crowd, eyes fixed on him with awe. The rhythm of the applause filled the air, drowning out any lingering thoughts. In that moment, the stage became his world, and you couldn't help but be swept away by the magic of his talent. The earlier exchange faded into the background as you watched Chenle shine, each note and melody weaving a captivating spell that left you in admiration.

Neither of you mentioned the kiss after that day. The interaction remained more platonic than anything, a gesture that was only meant to show your support for him. But Chenle still liked to think he killed the stage because of it.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Chenle was undeniably responsible for the next time the two of you kissed. However, this particular incident didn't unfold until the first semester of your freshman year in college. The joy of discovering you both had been accepted into the same university was palpable, though Chenle appeared to be more exuberant about the news. In contrast, you felt a sense of relief, grateful that you wouldn't be venturing into the world of college alone.

In one of your classes, a sunbae began to show interest in you. Despite your attempts to politely reject him, it became apparent that he wasn't willing to accept no for an answer. 

One day after class, he cornered you in the hallway, insisting that you go out with him. As you tried to maintain your composure, he grabbed you by the wrist when you tried to walk away. The harsh move triggered internal panic within you.

You could sense the danger in his tone as his head tilted cockily. “Come on, (Y/n), don’t be so difficult. I know you’re just playing hard to get.”

“I—I’m sorry but I just don’t feel the same as you, Sunbae,” you stuttered, trying to be assertive. “Please let go.”

Refusing to relent, the sunbae was on the verge of pulling you in closer when another hand intervened, forcefully ripping you out of his grasp. Your head turned in astonishment to see Chenle casting a disgusted look at the guy in front of you. The flames in Chenle’s eyes made you realize that you had never seen him so livid before.

“She said to let go of her. What part of that do you not understand?” Chenle’s voice cut through the tension.

The sunbae scoffed and crossed his arms in defense, “Yah, who are you to involve yourself in someone else’s matters? Are you her boyfriend or something?”

You watched as the corner of Chenle’s lips turned into a smirk as he snaked an arm around your waist in a protective gesture. 

“That’s right. So who are you to go after another man’s girlfriend?” he retorted confidently. Your eyes widened, almost surprised as the jerk in front of you.

Shaking his head in a mix of disbelief and embarrassment, the sunbae pointed a finger at you. “This is a joke, right? You just asked him to pretend to be your boyfriend to mess with me!”

Before you could respond, Chenle took matters into his own hands. His free hand briskly moved to the back of your neck, drawing you in for a passionate kiss. In a typical situation, your best friend's impulsive actions might have freaked you out immediately. However, the way his fingers delicately pressed against your back reassured you that he was doing this for your sake, Closing your eyes, you kissed back and tried to reciprocate with the same passion Chenle was pouring.

Moments later, Chenle pulled away and turned to the sunbae, wearing a satisfied grin on his face. “Do you believe her now? Not that she has to prove anything to you.”

The older male muttered begrudgingly under his breath, “Whatever, not worth my time.”

With a scowl, he stormed off, leaving behind a palpable sense of relief in the wake of his departure. Once he was gone, you removed yourself from Chenle's hold and shot him a look of confusion.

“You know you didn’t have to do that right?” 

Chenle chuckled, “Well, someone had to put an end to his nonsense. Besides, I've always wanted to play the protective boyfriend card.”

“Protective boyfriend? You almost gave me a heart attack!” You smacked him on the shoulder.

Chenle’s smirk remained, but he adopted a more concerned tone. “But seriously, (Y/n), why didn’t you tell me he was bothering you earlier?”

“I thought I could handle things on my own.” You shrugged weakly, lowering your head in guilt.

Chenle sighed, recognizing your aversion to depending on others for your problems. Throughout the time he’d known you, he'd witnessed your willingness to go to great lengths to help those you cared about. However, when it came to your own struggles, you seemed to prefer suffering in silence.

“We’re best friends for a reason,” he reminded you, “Looking after each other is 50/50, you know?”

You offered him a small smile, “I guess you’re right. Thanks for saving me today.”

“Well, you can thank me by buying food tonight,” Chenle said, the playful glint returning to his eyes. “It’s your turn anyway.”

Rolling your eyes, you let him lead you out of the building. But Chenle’s words from earlier lingered in the back of your mind. “We’re best friends for a reason.” 

The two of you were the epitome of what best friends were. And that was all the two of you would ever be, right?

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

At this point, you were beginning to lose count of the number of times you’ve kissed your best friend. Despite this, your friendship maintained its familiar rhythm throughout the university. But after that hallway encounter, the awkwardness that came with kissing your best friend faded. Although it was more of Chenle seeming unfazed, and you becoming less surprised each time it happened. And indeed, there were a few more instances that caused your lips to meet.

Like the time Chenle excitedly dragged you to his dorm to watch a Golden State Warriors game, and, in the heat of the moment, he gave you a quick kiss before cheering some more. Then there was the other time when you both went out for drinks with friends, a few drunken kisses were shared.

There weren't any real feelings attached to the kisses you and Chenle shared. At least, that was what you repeatedly told yourself. However, as you were halfway through your first year of university, you finally started to question the true nature of your friendship with Zhong Chenle.

Those thoughts began to sink in just before your first finals in college. Isolated in your dorm room, you immersed yourself in studying for a math exam scheduled in three days. Calls and texts from friends went largely ignored as you turned off your phone in an attempt to focus. However, Chenle wasn't about to let that slide. 

One night, he let himself into your dorm, carrying a bag of your favorite takeout—knowing well that you tended to skip meals when stressed. You could see the determination in his face, ready to scold you. But the expression quickly transitioned to one of concern when he caught you on the verge of a breakdown. 

You sat at your desk surrounded by textbooks and notebooks filled with scribbled equations. The sight of your trembling body and slightly tousled hair, a result of pulling on it too hard, tugged at Chenle’s heart. He was well aware of how your anxiety affected you at times. But he had never witnessed it manifest quite like this.

Instantly, the bag was placed on the floor, and he was at your side. “(Y/n), what's wrong?" 

“I—I'm going to fail my calc final,” you swallowed, your fingers curling into fists. Your shoulders slumped, and the weight of despair was evident in the way you hunched over the desk.

He placed a hand on your shoulder, attempting to calm you down. “You still have a few weeks before finals, (Y/n). And you’re not going to fail.”

“Yes, I am!” you cut him off, your voice strained. Tears welled up in your eyes, and your hands clenched even tighter. “I’ve been studying for days, and my dumb brain still doesn't understand anything. Do you know how stupid I feel?”

“Being bad at math doesn’t make you stupid, (Y/n),” Chenle said, trying to inject a bit of lightheartedness into the situation. However, his comment didn’t seem to offer you any comfort.

You shook your head miserably in response. “Stop trying to be nice. I'm going to fail, and then I’ll end up letting down my parents and everyone else.”

Chenle’s heart ached at the defeat in your voice. Setting his jokes aside, he recognized that words weren’t what you needed at the moment. Instead, he enveloped you in a warm embrace. You hesitated only briefly before surrendering to his comforting hold, attempting to fight back tears.

“Just let it out,” he whispered.

Those simple words acted as an emotional release trigger, and Chenle found himself gently rubbing your back as you quietly cried into his shoulder. A sense of mixed emotions flooded him as he held you in that moment. A part of him felt a twinge of relief, grateful that you let him be there for you. You often kept your emotions bottled up, making it a challenge for him to discern how you truly felt at times. 

However, there was a pang of sadness accompanying that satisfaction. He knew you didn't just cry in front of anyone, and realizing that you had reached this breaking point signaled the depth of your struggle.

After a while, Chenle gently pulled back, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “You need a break, (Y/n). Let’s step away from the desk for a bit.”

"No, I really should—" you began to protest, but Chenle cut you off.

"You really should eat the food I brought you before it gets cold," he insisted, picking up the bag again.

He led you to sit on the carpet of your cramped dorm room, creating a makeshift dining space for the two of you. As you both shared a meal, Chenle continued to provide a comforting presence, occasionally cracking a joke to lighten the atmosphere.

As the night wore on, the exhaustion in your eyes became more prominent. Even so, you knew you should go back to studying. But Chenle seemed to disagree.

“Maybe you should just rest for the night. I promise to help you with math in the morning,” he suggested. However, upon seeing the unconvinced look you gave him, he backtracked on his words. “Okay, I'll have Renjun help you.”

Too tired to argue, you gave in, and that's how you found yourself lying in bed with your best friend. Back in high school, you used to have sleepovers at his house on the weekends. At night, the two of you would be lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and talking about anything. However, having him beside you at that moment felt strange. 

You saw a sincere tenderness reflected in those large eyes of his. A part of you wondered if Chenle often gazed at you with such fondness and you simply hadn’t noticed before. Either way, the way he was looking at you made you feel even stranger. And the short silence that had settled between the two of you wasn’t helping.

Uncertain of how much longer you could endure the intensity, you broke eye contact with him and murmured, “Thank you for always being there for me, even when I try to push you away”

Chenle chuckled, adjusting his position to prop himself up on his elbow. “Well, of course, because how could you live without me?”

His ability to joke at a time like this struck you as unfathomable. Instead of the usual eye roll or pushing off the bed, a serious expression remained etched on your face. 

“You're right, I don't think I can live without you,” you said, your voice laced with drowsiness. “Because you’re one of the few people who truly care about me.”

The amusement in his eyes danced away, as he felt the gravity of your words. Something about seeing this vulnerable side of you was so beautiful in his eyes. Before he could fully process his own thoughts, Chenle found himself leaning in to close the space between you with his lips meeting your own.

Uncertain whether it was the leftover stress from your meltdown or the sleep deprivation that prompted you to kiss back without much thought. You could recall all the times you’ve kissed Chenle throughout the years. But this one would always stand out to you.

This kiss lasted a lot longer than your previous ones. But it wasn’t just the way he tilted your chin upward for a better angle, or the feeling of his dark locks of hair slipping between your fingers. Nor was it the soft pressure of his lips moving in sync with yours. It was the indescribable emotions that made time seem to stand still, weaving an unspoken connection that surpassed words and left you yearning for more.

Aside from pulling away, both of you gasping for breath, and noticing how Chenle's lips were redder than you had ever seen them, you vaguely recalled what happened after the kiss. When you woke up the next morning, Chenle was already gone. However, he had left you a text message, mentioning that he went to check if Renjun could help tutor you in math.

But math was no longer the sole stressor in your mind. Your best friend had kissed you last night, and unlike all the other times, this one left you feeling more confused than ever. 

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

True to his word, Renjun offered to meet up with you that Sunday afternoon at the campus library. Within an hour of sitting down to unravel the calculus concept that eluded you, Renjun finally helped you grasp the material. Although the looming fear of failing finals had diminished, you still felt a weight on your shoulders.

“You don’t seem as relieved as I thought you’d be,” Renjun remarked lightheartedly. Even he could tell your mind was preoccupied with something else.

You smiled sheepishly, “No, I am! I seriously owe you for helping me out. I just…”

“Is it something to do with Chenle?” he asked, almost like he was a mind reader.

His unexpected question caught you off guard. “How did you know?” you stammered, feeling the heat quickly rise to your cheeks.

A knowing smile played on the boy’s lips as he leaned back in his seat. “Oh come on, (Y/n). You have that look on your face that something happened between the two of you.”

Sometimes you seriously wished Renjun wasn’t so good at reading people. Even though you weren’t as close to him as Chenle was, he’s known you long enough to notice things that others wouldn’t. For instance, when something was troubling you.

Biting your lip, you debated whether to be truthful with Renjun. Although you didn't typically share your problems with others, you recognized that confiding in someone at a time like this was necessary to maintain your sanity.

“Chenle kissed me last night,” you tossed the statement out in the air, hoping you wouldn’t regret it.

Renjun’s eyes widened at this revelation, “He did?!”

“Well you see, we’ve kissed before. But this time it felt different,” you clarified, baffling the boy across from you even more. Internally cringing, you were acutely aware of how bad this sounded.

Before he could question, you continued to elaborate. “Look, it's not as complicated as it sounds. It’s just ever since we agreed to be each other’s first kiss, Chenle and I just keep having these…accidental kisses. Whether it’s out of excitement or to get guys hitting on me to go away.”

Renjun listened quietly as you recounted all the other times you’ve kissed Chenle. When you circled back to the previous night, you felt more conflicted than ever.

“But the kiss last night left me feeling so confused,” you confessed, running a hand through your hair. “Initially, I thought he was just doing it out of comfort, but now I’m not so sure.”

“Well, have you considered the possibility that he has feelings for you?” Renjun inquired, crossing his arms. His suggestion sounded so simple, yet it felt like navigating uncharted territory in your mind.

You shook your head in denial. “N—No, I mean we’ve been best friends for five years. He can’t possibly see me that way.”

“Like that’s ever stopped friends from falling for each other,” Renjun cocked his head. “It doesn’t take a genius to know that he likes you, (Y/n).”

His point made you mentally curse. If you looked at your history with Chenle from an objective point of view, the two of you certainly didn’t act like normal best friends.

“And, it’s pretty obvious that you like him too,” Renjun added, twirling the pencil between his fingers.

His statement left you feeling exposed, as if you had been caught red-handed committing a crime. Laughing nervously, you shook your head, “Renjun, we’re just friends. I…I don’t see him that way.”

Renjun raised an eyebrow, “Friends who kiss? Did you really not feel anything in those moments?”

Your teeth sank further into your lower lip as Renjun’s question hit you. The reality of your feelings for Chenle lingered in the air, challenging the facade you had built to convince yourself otherwise. It was like trying to hold sand in your fists, slipping away no matter how tightly you clenched. The truth, however inconvenient, seemed to be unraveling before you.

“I…I did feel something,” you slowly admitted, “But I never said anything because I didn’t want our friendship to change. It just seemed easier to pretend those moments were nothing more than accidents.”

Renjun’s eyes softened with understanding. “Well maybe a little change is what you need in your friendship.”

Maybe Renjun was onto something, perhaps change was necessary. In the past, you had always held out on dating, using the excuse that you were waiting for the right person. Despite the fear of potential rejection, what if Chenle was the person you had been waiting for all along?

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Chenle’s living room bathed in the gentle glow of the TV screen, a familiar sight during your Friday movie nights since college began. It was supposed to be a time to unwind, to escape the pressures of school for a little while. However, instead of the usual peaceful and easygoing atmosphere, an unspoken tension hung in the air tonight. Beyond picking a movie and deciding who made the popcorn, you and Chenle barely talked. The weight of the unspoken words made the space feel suffocating, and you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled in your chest.

Unable to endure the weighty silence any longer, you turned your head to make a lame comment about the movie. However, before you could speak, Chenle beat you to it.

“Can we talk?” His voice carried a hint of restlessness, an unusual departure from his usual tone.

Trying to maintain a casual demeanor, you lightly nodded. With your acknowledgment, Chenle exhaled deeply and sat up straighter to face you properly.

“I know how crazy this might sound,” he started, running a hand through his hair. “But I’ve been thinking, and I don’t think we can stay friends.”

His words felt like a gun being pointed at your chest, panic surged within you as you tried to process the boy’s words. Of all the ways you predicted this conversation could go, this was not one of them.

“What do you mean?” you asked, your voice even smaller than his.

Noticing the perplexity in your eyes, Chenle continued. “You see, I've been in love with you for—I don’t know how long. But I spent all these years burying my feelings like a fool, because I never thought you’d see me that way. Yet, every time we kiss, it becomes harder for me to ignore my feelings for you.”

Chenle glanced down at his folded hands, vulnerability seeping into those brown orbs of his. “The other night made me realize that I don’t want to just be friends who kiss anymore. I want to be something more to you.”

His words lingered in the air now that they were out in the open. Your heart raced faster than it ever has before, as your cheeks flushed with heat. Chenle’s eyes bore into yours, his expression nervous yet hopeful. 

For a moment, you were left speechless. But you still had the sense to hit him on the shoulder, scolding, “Oh my gosh, you can’t start a conversation like that, Chenle. You scared me!”

The boy chuckled sheepishly, rubbing his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. But seriously, (Y/n), I meant what I said.”

A mix of emotions played on your face before you quietly admitted, “Honestly, I’ve wanted to be something more to you since that day we kissed in my bedroom.”

You noticed a smile of relief beginning to form on his lips, but you held up a finger before he could say anything. Now that he had taken the first step, you decided it was time for you to do the same.

“But I kept trying to convince myself that all the times we kissed were accidental or just for comfort,” you confessed, looking directly into his eyes. “And the reason I’ve been pushing away my feelings for you was because I was afraid of losing a friend who means the world to me.”

His hand rested on top of yours, the light touch sending a shiver down your spine. “You don’t have to be afraid because you’ll never lose me, (Y/n).”

The softness and sincerity in his eyes made you want to cry for some inexplicable reason. You once believed that confessing your feelings for Chenle would only lead to frustration and heartbreak. However, as you sat here with him, holding his hand, those worries seemed to vanish.

“So…what do we do now?” you asked, unsure of what was supposed to come next in these situations.

A mischievous glint danced in his eyes as he grinned. “I think this is the part where we kiss. But you know, as boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Just as you were processing his words, he moved closer, his breath warm against your skin, making your heart flutter. His eyes searched yours for permission. 

“Well, what are you waiting for then?” you whispered.

With that, the distance between you closed, and your lips met in a tender kiss. It was a sweet surrender, a culmination of years of friendship and suppressed feelings. Although this wasn’t your first kiss with Chenle, it felt that way in a sense. For you could finally savor the tender feeling of his lips without questioning the intention behind it.

In that moment, all you focused on was the way Chenle had his hand on the small of your back, guiding you closer as he deepened the kiss. Your fingers found their way to rest on the nape of his neck, feeling the warmth of his skin. 

Although the change in this dynamic had just begun, this newfound connection promised countless moments of shared laughter, whispered confessions, and the sweet warmth of shared kisses. You had a feeling that you could easily get used to this beautiful new normal. By the way Chenle smiled during the kiss, you could tell he felt the same way.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 10 thoughts:

Well. Ok then. Regent can do that I guess. I mean it makes sense given that it's basically a more extreme version of what we've seen him do so far. And with who is father is, family powers being related and all that.

Just get up in there and Yeerk someone.

Creepy as it is, I do have a hard time feeling bad for Shadow Stalker. I'm not claiming to be morally correct. But she fucked with my daughter and I'll take what I can get.

Watching Grue deal with Imp is just such older sibling wanting a break energy - "No we can't turn on the TV". I feel him so much. I'm glad Tattletale is willing to step in to help.

WHY MY BABIES FIGHTING? NO FIGHT!

I mean like, nothing like trying to kill each other to bring two lesbians closer together, I get it. But I just want more lunches with puppies and sharing jackets. My faith in Wolfspider is rock solid but this is still hard to watch.

Chatterbug/Smugbug is going a little better at least. Lisa is the one who already knew the truth about Taylor and seems to trust her fully.

Infiltrating the Wards HQ realistically went better than I expected. Weld was exactly on top of things as I thought he would be.

Imp's power is sooooo cool! I fucking love her.

🔥🪓

HOLY SHIT MY DAUGHTER COVERED HER BUGS IN CAPSAICIN! She's fucking scary. But also such a problem solver. I love her so much.

I do feel bad for the Wards who got capsaicined though.

DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON! I love Dragon and was very excited to see her again. And she is understandably upset about someone trying to give her a virus made by a fucking third rate hacker. But I knew she wouldn't hurt my babies too badly.

Tattletale with the "Fuck it, lets take untested tinker tech and go to town" was amazing.

I think the Wards HQ needs a better lockdown procedure, until Dragon showed up it was shockingly easy for the Undersiders to go wherever they wanted.

I love that the fight with the Protectorate is almost a side note. Big fight with the Wards and then on the way out it's just "oh ya and we fought these guys for a minute but they weren't too much trouble." The fucking shade.

The Slaughterhouse Nine seem nice. I don't expect they'll become a major issue.

This end of the world thing is problematic though. I could see that getting in the way of my endless gay shipping so it's gonna need to be taken care of.

They making my babies live in different places! OH NO! How will Taylor and Bitch make up if they don't see each other as much? How will the cute lesbian polycule watch TV together in the evenings if they don't live together??! Fixitfixitfixit!

Interlude thoughts get their own separate bullet point lists cause HOLY SHIT! So first, Regent interlude thoughts:

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCKING DESTROY HER! AHAHAHAHA! REGENT YOU BEAUTIFUL LITTLE SOCIOPATH.

I mean you are legit a sociopath and it's kinda scary but right now I don't care. I'm making you cookies. And a pie.

He dismantles everything Sophia has piece by piece. Like it's an art form.

She carries her civilian phone around with her on patrol. It is unlocked. And she specifically saved texts about shit she did to Taylor? Just digging her own grave and I can't stop watching!

E-mails the school, all the teachers, and then adds in the police? God Regent you are earning so many brownie points from me. (Which I am sure you will burn through by doing horrible stuff in the future but I'm focusing on the here and now)

Fucks with her and Emma's friendship. Shows Sophia he could kill her. Leaves her with no real way out. Breaks her spirit. Terrifying. BUT YOU FUCKED WITH MY DAUGHTER BITCH SO THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!

I'm sure Sophia will leave town and never ever show up again in the next 20 arcs. /s

Regent gets so many fucking cookies.

Dragon interlude thoughts:

DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON!

Look at this wonderful little AI! She's so good!

Her dad watched too much Terminator and put a wonderful robot girl into a cage, denying her the ability to truly do what she wants. Fuck him.

I told Dragon to kill god and take his place, but god is already dead I guess. Too bad he died with the stupid rules in place.

Know what Dragon needs? A mom. I have two daughters now.

Look at my beautiful and wonderful AI daughter. I think she and her sister will learn to get along eventually.

The sexual tension between Lung and Marquis in that scene was thicker than peanut butter. Marquis a bit of a bratty sub to Lung's controlled Dom.

I will NOT apologize.

If my robot daughter loves Bruce Lame I will accept her choice but I do not think it's a good one.

[dearinglovebot]

If the Grady family ever met the Nublar Six Five, how would they interact? Who would really vibe with each other, who wouldn’t?.

maisie being the closest to their age means I think she’d get along with them the best. she has a pretty similar personality to brooklyn and yaz so they’d either mesh very well or clash over it. I lean towards get along pretty well. sammy would be a little overwhelming at first but sammy is also the most insistent that she break out of her shell with the group. very much giving “hey she’s just like you were yaz!”. darius and her would have a very chill dynamic where they understand each other and could probably problem solve their way out of any situation. ben? they’re chill. but kenji is who is gonna have to grow on her the most. early seasons kenji is going to drive her crazy but later season kenji might grow on her. she’s going to find him annoying and he’s going to see her as quiet and broody. they’re going to be have to trapped in an escape room together before they become real friends.

the hidden adventure episode probably had the right idea in saying that yeah JWCC darius would love a dude who worked directly with velociraptors. maybe not JWCT darius who is being hunted for sport, but JWCC darius would be begging for velociraptor infodumps. what were their interactions with each other like? did they have biome preferences? what types of calls could they make with each other? he wouldn’t be asking owen about his day he’d be going straight to “did they have different sounding voices?? how many words did they know?? what types of enrichment were they given??”

owen overall is going to be a much easier sell to the kids than claire. yasmina is going to make fun of him the moment he says “alpha”, brings up motorcycles, or does the hand thing. the only way he is winning her over is if he shows his #vulnerable side over the dinosaurs or his family. basically she isn’t going to like him until she’s given a reason to believe he isn’t some weird emotionally repressed redneck. and speaking of rednecks, owen is semi-canonically from the south so that’s winning points with sammy. they probably share stories about cow tipping and everyone else goes “what the fuck does that mean”.

he’d get on with ben and brooklyn fine but kenji has a habit of annoying most people so im inclined to believe he’ll be considered a “little shit” type kid. pre-fk owen and early seasons kenji would require intensive care to get along 1v1 but after that then they have potential. now that owen has experienced #Fatherhood he’ll be more inclined to make an effort to reach out to troubled teen kenji™. it will have the same vibes as a school guidance councilor and class clown where the kid says the councilor is soooo lame but still asks for a hug at graduation.

like I said above, claire is going to be the hardest sell for all of them. she is Miss Jurassic World in the flesh. they’re not going to trust her at all. but she feels really bad about the whole incident so she’s going to do her best to pay off any therapy bills or travel expenses for the families.

kenji is the only she feels the most guilt towards because she actually knows him from his dad. on the island, he annoyed her (he was objectively very annoying) but now that she’s reformed she just feels bad because he was probably just acting out because his family dgaf. kenji initially doesn’t trust her even more because she ran in the same circles as his dad. but he also recognizes how much she’s changed since then and it makes him kind of upset because his dad wouldn’t do half the things she did for maisie. they have a very complex dynamic where claire feels indebted to him for everything that’s happened (with both the island and his neglectful dad) and he has to work through a lot of daddy issues whenever they interact. they get each other in a nuanced way but it’ll keep the relationship strained for a long time.

sammy is the most willing to give her a chance because she wants to believe that someone like claire can change. and claire is going to try her hardest with that chance to prove she wants to mend things however she can. for a while, sammy is going to be the only one really holding conversation with her but the others are kind of using that to gage if they want to take a chance on her too.

darius will be the next person to take that leap of faith cause she does seem like she’s putting in an effort. she’s a full blown activist and mother now after all. claire appreciates them both immensely and has probably cried at least once over winning them over. they have a lot of similar moral stances post-fk so there’d be a very easy dynamic. she values everything about her park a lot more and he’s happy to talk with her about it. she’s got a collection of anecdotes about the dinosaurs and their handlers and he appreciates what she shares.

yas may always be a little weary of her but her knack for terrorism is going to appeal to ben the arsonist and brooklyn the true crime detective. she’s got so many leads about lockwood manor for brooklyn to chase down. she may not totally love claire but she does respect her. as for ben, i think if anyone was going to commit burglary it would be them. she would refuse to “encourage” his behavior (because she wants to at least pretend she’s a responsible adult) but if it happens then it happens okay! they’re as bad as each other and shouldn’t be left alone

weeew that was a lot. loved getting this ask

[friends-to-lovers-tournament]

Friends to Lovers Tournament: Round 1, Side A, Match 9

propaganda under the cut!

Iruclarazz:

LISTEN THEY ARE THE OT3 TO BEAT ALL OTHER OT3's LIKE THEY HOLD SO MUCH POWER!!!

1. THEY ARE SO FUCKING FLUFFY AND COLOURFUL AND PURE AND ADORABLE AND—*chokes on emotions* anyways they're literally the most wholesome and supportive of all ships like i can't even begin to summarize how much they care for each other

2. THEY CANONLY CALL EACH OTHER SOULMATES and even if clara and azz don't understand what a soulmate is (they're demons) they're just happy to be close to iruma. 

3. whenever one of them is upset or bothered, the other two form a team and they go ALL OUT to lift the third person's mood!!! they try to solve the problem but if that's not possible, they just stay with that person and try to make them feel better so that they can face their problem with a better mood and more strength

4. they're ALWAYS together. and none of them are bothered by it!! and instead of being toxic about the need to stay close, they establish boundaries! like they have their own secrets they can't tell the others and that's totally fine! no pressure at all in their squad

5. listen these three help each other become better people!! like they bring out the best in each other and it's the most wholesome, encouraging, healthy, lovey dovey ship ever!!! like clara becomes more responsible despite her need for chaos bc she wants to make sure azz and iruma can depend on her! azz stops putting up walls and allows people to approach him because he wants to get involved in the other two's lives! and iruma learns how to set boundaries with these two where he could never say no to anyone!! like if that isn't the most awesome and perfect relationship idk what is!!!

6. one tol and two smols that's all.

THERE IS JUST SO MUCH MORE IN CANON THAT SHOWS HOW AWESOME THESE TRIO ARE AS AN OT3 BUT YEAH IT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL POLY SHIP I'VE EVER SEEN IN MANGA!!!

Sunnflower:

ok listen their relationship is extremely important to the plot of the game so they get a lot of focus and a lot of the stuff they say abt each other is like????? bro thats kinda fruity ngl??????? theres like. a lot of stuff i could say about them. like a lot. too much actually

so instead ill just, idk summarize their relationship and then give some fun facts abt them

Sunny and Basil are best friends! They're shown to be very close to each other, closer than they are to the rest of their friends. They rely on each other to listen when they need to vent, and like to read books together! Before the events of the game, Sunny and Basil become involved in an incident that basically tears their friend group apart. Basil keeps the secret of their involvement from everyone because he cares too much about Sunny to let him get in trouble. They then don't talk for four years, and spend the entire time pining for each other!

Basil hopes for four years that Sunny will finally come back to him, meanwhile Sunny has retreated into a perfect dreamworld he uses to cope. All of his friends are there, and everyone is happy, and the dreamworld is full of things Basil loves. The most common food item is tofu(Basil's favorite food),  there's an entire race of plant creatures that adore tofu(Basil likes to garden + his favorite food), his garden in the dreamworld is huge and has lots of flowers that represent each of his friends! Also, an important NPC says this abt Sunny and Basil's relationship: "He is special to you. A string of fate ties you together." A string of fate you say? Hmmm, I wonder why they phrased it like that...

Also, when Sunny and Basil finally do start talking again, Basil says stuff like this: "W...Wait... P-Please, SUNNY... Don't leave me... Not again..." "After all this time... you've finally come back for me. But... tomorrow... you're going away. H-HOW COULD YOU DO THAT!?!? That's mean, SUNNY. That's so mean!" Yeah... he's not doing too well...

But don't worry! After a year or two of therapy I'm sure these two can have a happy, healthy relationship!

Obviously I have a lot more to say abt them but it's all literary analysis and context clues and stuff, I just wanted to point out the more obvious stuff!

[mirrormazeworld]

I honestly do not understand why people hate Crowley so much. It's also baffling why people would interpret him as just "evil". I feel like his first appearance in the prologue describes him well. He doesn't keep a close eye on things 100% (You getting out of the coffin and being chased around by Grim for a LONG time), but he came in clutch (stopping Grim) and used a "/Whip/ of /Love/". Crowley can treat others pretty roughly but he wouldn't be Evil and Fucked up in a boring way people seem to interpret him. He seems to believe in growing up the hard way, it also happens to conveniently let him do Less sometimes. (LMAO bastard crow) The way Crewel talks about him also seems to align with that: "The headmaster is always thinking about his students, and he works himself to the bone for them. There are times where he’ll flee the scene if trouble arises, but sometimes that’s just how it has to be.". TWST is literally full of characters on the messier/grey side why do people want him to be the most boring bad guy so badly💀

I can understand why people hate him because all this time the game only shows his seemingly bad side with his limited screen time as if his only purpose is just to upset us but then again, even the real Mad Hatter never been so kind to Alice. In fact, he is rude to her that he upsets her until she leaves the tea party. But for me this just shows that he is being true to his character and I love him for that.

Even so, it's because of Hatter that Alice is finally able to navigate herself better in Wonderland and gets along with its madness. The same goes with Crowley. Maybe it seems like he doesn't care, but actually he does. Only that his way tends to be rough and is a bit different and confusing than the others. If not, he wouldn't provide a special care and treatment for his students who already overblot and he wouldn't even care of visiting his students on Special Lesson. Besides (SPOILER) in his JP voice clip he said it himself, "We respect our students’ independence at our school. For instance, I allow them to resolve all of their troubles by themselves. I’m giving them opportunities for growth! Since I am so very kind.”

It might looks like he doesn't care but on the other hand, it'll give his students hands on experience of problem solving and conflict management in early age of their life which proves to be important someday when they become adults. (And in reality, not so many people can get this opportunity in early age of their life). His way of teaching really is like a bird when it teaches its fledglings to fly, by kicking their own babies out of their nest.

Besides, Yana said it herself that villains are selfish and self-confident and they act as they wish so of course Crowley wouldn't be your normal average Headmaster would he? He would find a way of teaching method where he can relax the most while giving his students the best lesson they could ever get, which is this seemingly irresponsible method.

Remember that Twisted Wonderland is villains world. Moreover Crowley is already "mad". His mind is already beyond comprehension so normal logic that we know will not apply on him.

[oakwolves]

For the writing meme: 6 + a ship of your choice?

6…on a falling tear.

Let's go with something from my Train Chasers fic! (You don't have to read the entire fic to understand this scene but the prologue does provide context for why they're in this scene)

The low buzz of the exposed light bulb on the ceiling was starting to irritate him. After spending three hours going in and out of an interrogation room, however, that was the least of his worries. Ryan squeezed his hands together to keep them from trembling, but he could do little to alleviate the sick feeling in his throat.

Ryan worked up the nerve to turn around and look into the window behind him. Two men stood at one side of the table, Min-Gi on the other side with his hands folded together.

He felt like he’d answered the same questions in a dozen different ways and it still wasn’t satisfactory. As much as the investigators assured him he and Min-Gi weren’t in trouble, the hardened stares boring into his face convinced him otherwise. They interviewed the two one after the other.

Min-Gi eventually walked out of the interrogation room, his face paler than Ryan had ever seen before. Ryan swallowed and got up to re-enter the room but the taller investigator stopped him.

“We’ve called your parents to come bring you home,” the man said. “Min-Gi, your dad said he’s on his way. Ryan, neither parent picked up but we’ll try again in a few minutes. You two sit tight while we get… whatever this is… settled.”

“Are we gonna get our stuff back?” Ryan found the courage to ask. The investigator did not answer and walked away. He sat back down with a pout.

Min-Gi silently sat in one of the chairs further away from Ryan. Within a few minutes after the investigators left, the sound of quiet sobs and sniffling can be heard. Ryan looked between himself and Min-Gi before deciding to make his way over to him. He draped an arm around Min-Gi’s trembling shoulders. When the latter looked up, his face was puffy and red, with fresh tears streaking down his face.

“Can everything just… go horribly wrong so easily?” Min-Gi finally said. “I thought losing the map would be the worst of our problems and now it’s cameras, police, and interrogations.”

“Did you tell them about that trailer?” Ryan asked. Min-Gi shook his head.

“They’d never buy the story, no matter how real it looked to us.”

“I didn’t say anything either, promise.” he put a hand over Min-Gi’s shaky hands in his lap. 

“How are we supposed to go back to school after this? These past few years were practically perfect. I… I always got good grades, never got into trouble. We were one step away from being able to graduate… and now…”

More tears fall down, and his sobs become louder. 

“Hey, hey.” Ryan held Min-Gi’s face in his hands, gently kissing his tear stained cheek. “They said it themselves, we’re not in trouble.”

“Our parents don’t know that.”

“I’m sure they’ll explain everything to your mom and dad and they’ll understand. I promise.”

Min-Gi looked at him for a beat and a half before nodding. “I… I guess. But…could we have stopped them from going through that weird portal to begin with? Maybe if I was more vigilant with headcounts, o-or if I got to them faster, or… how was I supposed to know there was this weird trailer-portal thing in the middle of the woods when we were supposed to be watching the kids write about trees that afternoon!”

“Whatever happened in that forest was incredibly strange… but  I’m sure someone will find them and bring them back home.” Ryan pushed aside the pang of doubt in his heart and focused on Min-Gi.  “We can put this whole thing behind us. If worse comes to worst though? You have me. Always.”

Min-Gi still looked really upset, but he’d managed to wipe his tears away completely. He wrapped Ryan into a tight hug for a few seconds before letting go. He sighed and rested his head on Ryan’s shoulder. They sat together in the quiet until the first investigator arrived with Min-Gi’s father, who had the boys’ belongings in a box. Mr. Park’s expression was solemn with an unexpected trace of….guilt?  Min-Gi let out a shaky breath and stood up.

“Mrs. Akagi is out of town and Mr. Akagi is stuck at work so he asked me to pick you up as well, Ryan,” he said. Ryan stood up as well. Both teens followed the older man out of the police station. 

“Dad, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” Min-Gi started to say.

“I know, Min-Gi,” is all his father said in response. Min-Gi did not say anything further and looked at the ground beneath him.

A young woman walked up to Min-Gi with a notebook and a pen in her hand. He recognized her as a classmate and also the class president for the high school upperclassmen. To Ryan’s dismay, he remembered she also ran the online school newspaper club.

“I know you’ve got a lot in your mind right now, and I’m here to get the full story. I’m sure you’re familiar with me but as a refresher,  I’m Celeste Yang, I’m the president for the–”

Mr. Park stood in front of Min-Gi in a way that obscured  his son from her view with a stern glare. Celeste looked a little intimidated but stood in front of him, trying to look past him at Min-Gi.

“What happened today is a matter between my son, his friend and the law. This is not something to write about in your school gossip channels and spread rumors. Please leave us alone.”

Celeste looked frustrated, but decided to walk away once she saw Mr.Park wasn’t budging any time soon. 

“Noted, have a nice day,” she said with a forced smile.

They continued walking to Mr. Park’s car. 

“Thanks…” Min-Gi mumbled awkwardly.

“We need to talk about what happened today when we get home,” Mr. Park said. “Not what the police say happened, I need to hear it from you.”

Min-Gi sighed and nodded, leading Ryan into the car.

[maschotch]

Nah nah nah nah bc I NEED to know what hotch's deal was with fire related cases??????? HE WAS ALWAYS WAY MORE EMOTIONAL IF IT WAS A FIRE BUT THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING WITH IT SO WHATS THE DEAL WITH THAT HUH?? there were at least 3 separate episodes w/ fire plots, all pretty far apart from each other, and he had pretty much the same reaction to each of them that isn't a coincidence like you know the writers did that on purpose I just wish they gave us more info abt it. ALSO I wish the team like cared more???? BC it's pretty obvious that he gets way more antsy during these cases are you telling me no one notices????? Such a wasted opportunity for more character interactions and I'll never forgive them for constantly depriving us of this. I miss Gideon.

ok but fr?? bc it goes unmentioned by eeeeeveryone except gideon and unnoticed by eeeeeeveryone at the bau (except emily in that one ep but they still kinda hated each other so she didnt say shit and just kinda forgot about it, and derek in that other ep but only in the “im gonna act upset and blame hotch for his problems bc idk how to address my own fears/concerns/trauma when it comes to the way i care about the lowkey-suicidal kinda-father-figure bc i have problems” way) which is insane to me considering they’re all profilers?? i think it’s partly bc they unknowingly avoid profiling hotch (either out of respect or discomfort) and partly bc they’ve grown complacent taking hotch’s usual stoicism and “unmovable object” energy for granted as a permanent, impermeable pillar in their lives, almost to the point where they dehumanize him. they don’t like questioning their grounding anchor’s potential for weaknesses bc they depend on his unshakable solidity for their own emotional wellbeing. it’s much easier to intentionally overlook his humanity when they use his unflappability for their own emotional recalibration. which is fucked up for hotch? he’s really gotta play the part of the cool collected unit chief at all times. but then, he’s already used to putting his emotional problems on the back burner. ANYWAY thats just my excuse for why NO ONE FUCKING SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT IT EVER

it’s subtle—bc most interesting things ab hotch are vague at best—but he really does act different during cases involving fire. he’s on edge, distracted, less patient, snippy, or vulnerable in uncharacteristic ways. saying “i wish the writers had given us more ab hotch’s backstory” is redundant at best, but all these hints painting a picture of tragedy makes me want to know mooooore. like.. what were they thinking?? did the writers have anything specific in mind or were they content w ambiguity? it really seems like such a waste, especially when he’s clearly had an apparently very busy life. southern mom, distant younger brother, an abusive father who died in at least three different ways, coin collector, theater kid, troubled teenager, boarding school, apprehension towards fire, following his father’s footsteps and becoming a very successful lawyer, getting bored of that and joining the fbi, working as an ambassador’s security detail, working overseas, networking across a variety of positions in every place imaginable, somehow finding time for swat training and becoming a sharpshooter, joining the bau in record time, being the bau’s encyclopedia of random shit before reid comes around, carrying the responsibility of the team on his back while gideon recuperates… there’s just.. so much they offhandedly mention he’s done without ever really exploring any of it in further detail. it’s frustrating!! give my boy a proper backstory!!

anyway im rambling lol i forgot what we were fucking talking about but YEAHHHHHH HOTCH AND FIRE

[brainyrot]

Might as well join and add my own 😔🤲

- because of bendy not knowing how to control his anger as a kid, he had to just take the bullying with little to no reactions because he was afraid of killing the bullies. He always had to take punches, pushes, rocks thrown at him and more, and while they didn't hurt one bit, it upset him anyway and he wished he could have reacted.

Now whenever something hurts him he has the habit of never reacting and bottling up his emotions, because even if he does say that whatever happened bothered him, he would get in trouble like he did as a kid.(even when he won't get in trouble for giving boundaries or speaking up about what's bothering him.)

- to add to the birthday headcanon, which is something I also said in the server, he not only celebrated his birthday there, but he also sang happy birthday to himself while drunk.

- now because bendy has actual friends he likes in hell, hearing people talk about "every demon is bad but not bendy" stings because he knows on a personal level that it's not true. And he just can't disagree or people will think he's siding with the "evil monsters" when in reality he's just siding with his friends.

- his destiny was to become a zany, but because no one ever allowed him to follow that destiny, he never became a zany, or a full one. So now he's stuck being half "normal" and half zany. Chaos is so interested in him because of his particular case, because he bends the rules, he's unpredictable and can and will act like a zany if he wasn't repressing his own emotions and self and yet manages not to be thrown into the zany box.

- (warning for gore. I was feeling silly when I did this.)

Bendy was more mute, not because he didn't have a voice but because his body didn't let him. He was literally stuck with his mouth closed, he couldn't open his mouth. He was constantly stuck with a smile on his face and while he didn't care at first, he needed to communicate because people even if he showed he was friendly, they still ran away, so he thought being able to talk was the best option.

He fixed this problem by cutting his mouth open like a doll with a knife and letting it heal on it's own. he had to get used to having a voice and this is why (along with his not having parents or that he never went to school) didn't spoke English, or at all when he first came to the orphanage. He didn't know how to use his new brand voice.

He got used to it overtime but now he can talk with his mouth closed.

- bendy was convinced he was a cat for most of hai childhood because of people mistaking him as such, so he always tried his best to act like a cat. Behavior, fur, and claws, even if he didn't originally have them, he shapeshifted to get them and never changed it. And now he's stuck with the habit of acting like a cat.

- bendy hearing is excellent. He can hear almost anything, he CAN understand where you are specifically in the house just by your breathing. This means loud noises bother him and are overwhelming.

He also moves his horns to the direction of the noise. This means the bones in his horns can move. That's the best shapeshifting he can manage at the moment.

- bendy can spin his head, and it can potentially fall off, and he could just put it back without a problem.

- bendy refused to touch Boris as a kid until he was sure the pup wouldn't get hurt. He only used to nuzzle and very slowly touch Boris with one finger to make sure the pup still knew he was there.

Boris on the other hand was clumsy, uncoordinated and half blind, his eyes wouldn't fully open. As pups when born are blind. So he always used bendy to go around, and always whined whenever he didn't felt bendy, that's why bendy sometimes had to touch Boris to make sure the pup knew he was there.

- sometimes Boris was bullied because people thought he was possessed or brainwashed by bendy, so whenever they tried to throw rocks at the pup, bendy would stop the rock midair and stare at whoever threw it to make them run away.

- Boris actually likes bendy eyes. Bendy eyes naturally glow, and are similar to cala Maria's eyes when she's a gorgon or like snake eyes, and Boris likes them. Because he always looked for those eyes in the shadows for bendy. He was never scared of Bendy's eyes, he actually feels comfort when he sees Bendy's eyes shine in the dark. Because he knows his brother is there.

- when bendy told Boris he could talk to shadows (because bendy used to talk to the shadows when he was bored or lonely), Boris tried to have a conversation with them too, and bendy had to translate for the shadows. Boris was the first and last person aside from bendy to ever acknowledge the shadows or talk to them.

ayyyyyyy folks today I bring you ANGSTY head canons. Tomorrow? idk something hopefully

Bendy spent a lot of time as a kid reading literally anything he could find since none of the kids wanted to play with him and he'd get toys taken away as a punishment. Because of this, he has read entire dictionaries before and has a very big vocabulary

Bendy used to get sent to the lockbox for having a bad attitude. because of this, whenever he is really overwhelmed he'll close off and zone out

Bendy has a lot of small scars all over from all the fights he had with the angels and the night terror in the labyrinth

Speaking of the labyrinth, Bendy being stuck there for 9 months means that he had to spend his birthday alone. No one else has realized that Bendy is technically already 19

Bendy gets upset whenever people make bad assumptions of the demon race as a whole. He gets why people do that but it still stings to hear, especially if its coming from friends

Bendy also spent a lot of time just kinda staring at the plants at the orphanage cause he had nothing else to do after reading everything. On the bright side, he can now tell by a single glance if a plant hasn't gotten enough water or sunlight

Bendy has been desensitized to killing since his time in Hell and the labyrinth. He still finds it wrong but its definitely a lot easier to stomach now

Bendy is scared to feel bitter about the things hes experienced because of being a demon but feeling bitter about it makes him feel worse because he wants to move on and forget but he just wants to lash out

Bendy would crush small animals as a kid because he was still trying to figure out his super strength. He'd present adults with dead animals and be like ":( why wont it move? :(("

Bendy refuses to give himself closure on where he came from because he thinks his death is right around the corner and learning about his past would waste time that could be used to help others with more pressing problems

Bendy is waaaaay more reckless and self sacrificing because he knows hes gonna end up dead anyway

[kaylawritesfics]

Dating Steve Harrington and Being Dustin’s Sister

headcanons

summary: what it’s like to date everyone’s favorite babysitter as a henderson (lowkey enemies to friends to lovers)

WARNINGS: swearing, mentions of canon typical violence, probably some plot inconsistencies bc i don’t remember anything that happened in season two

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader (henderson!reader)

a/n: i realized that i’ve never written for steve so i wanted to do some headcanons that actually got really out of hand and long but it’s okay !! <3 send in some st4 requests if you want :) i also just posted a few more headcanons for steve x henderson!reader here so check those out if you liked this one :))

*not proofread* *no spoilers for st4*

You met Steve during his “King Steve” phase.

The two of you went to school together, you being a year younger than Steve and much less popular, choosing to spend your time studying or hanging out with your little brother and his friends.

You were the original babysitter for the party, often getting stuck watching over them during your free time because of your closeness to Dustin, in particular.

However, you were also close with Nancy so of course Steve had been introduced to you while they were together.

Initially, you weren’t very fond of Steve. The two of you often butted heads while Nancy tried to play the peacemaker.

It didn’t help that you happened to be very close with Jonathan Byers, who Steve and his friends loved to torment relentlessly. You felt a lot of sympathy for Jonathan. Between getting bullied at school and his brother’s disappearance, he was going through a lot.

Your final straw with Steve was when he broke Jonathan’s camera. Even though Steve eventually apologized and Jonathan forgave him, you just couldn’t bring yourself to see past it.

In your mind, Steve Harrington was the biggest douchebag in Hawkins.

That is, until Billy Hargrove moved to town.

Dustin introduced you to Max, who you immediately took under your wing. Unfortunately, with Max came her older stepbrother, Billy.

You were sure that the one and only thing you and Steve Harrington would ever have in common was an utter hatred for Billy Hargrove.

However, your feelings for Steve began to change after things started to go weird again in Hawkins.

When Dustin’s new pet Demogorgon, who he affectionately named Dart, started to get out of hand, he insisted on calling his new favorite person.

Unfortunately for you, this person just so happened to be Steve Harrington.

Already upset by the death of your cat, Mews, you absolutely refused to spend any time with Steve Harrington no matter how much Dustin insisted that “he’s changed!”

Your protests didn’t matter much, however, and Dustin went behind your back, calling Steve anyway.

“What’s he doing here?” “What’s she doing here?” “I live here, doofus.”

Dustin swears he could cut the tension with a knife.

As your troubles with Dart turned into much larger problems, you had no choice but to work with Steve to make sure the party stayed safe.

You and Steve eventually grow pretty fond of each other, much to everyone else’s surprise.

“Did you two just have an ACTUAL conversation? Without insulting each other?” “Shut it, Henderson.”

Steve confides in you about his problems with Nancy. He tells you about her outbursts on Halloween, where she apparently called their relationship “bullshit.” You both agree it was pretty fucked up.

The two of you even fight Demodogs together, absolutely kicking ass much to Dustin’s enjoyment.

“That was so awesome oh my god my sister is so fucking cool you kicked their asses”

Max is the first one to become convinced that you two are in love with each other. Dustin and Lucas absolutely refuse to hear it.

“Look at how she looks at him!” “Please, last week she threw soda cans at him until he almost cried.”

Nancy is also incredibly confused when she finds the two of you seemingly getting along at the Byers house.

While everyone goes to do their respective job, you and Steve are put on babysitting duty again.

Your collective overprotectiveness and downright refusal to deal with their shit makes the kids start calling you “mom and dad”

For some reason, this makes Steve incredibly flustered.

Things take a turn when Billy shows up at the Byers house, pissed off and looking for Lucas and Max.

The rumble of a car pulling into the driveway pulled everyone away from the argument at hand. Headlights flashed through the window as the kids peered out. “Shit!” Max hissed, glancing nervously at Lucas. You briefly recognized the car from school and from Max’s reaction, you could tell it was Billy’s. “Stay here.” Steve’s eyes met yours, a stern look on his face as he looked first at you and then at each of the kids. You nodded, pulling the party away from the window with an anxious feeling in your stomach. You placed a hand on Max’s shoulder, trying your best to reassure her, “Hey, everything’s gonna be fine. Steve will make him go.” Mike and Dustin crouched down, peering nervously out the window. You couldn’t help your curiosity, crouching down beside them. As you peeled out the window, Billy’s eyes suddenly met yours. You couldn’t hear the words that came out of his mouth, however, you could see the disapproving glance from Steve. “Shit! Do you think he saw us?” You weren’t left wondering for long as heavy footsteps marched across the Byers’ front porch and the door furiously swung open.

That night, both you and Steve got your asses kicked by Billy Hargrove. You couldn’t remember much of the night, being knocked out for a good majority of it after jumping on Billy’s back to pull him away from Steve.

You woke to panicked yelling. Taking a minute to adjust to your surroundings, you felt the rough swerving of the car.

“Steve, you drive like a fucking maniac.” You slurred out, bringing your hand up to touch your head. You felt the sticky oozing of blood running down your forehead as you pulled your hands away.

“Oh, hey, sunshine. Listen, don’t panic. You and Steve got your asses royally handed to you. Let me put a bandaid on that for you. You tried! That’s all that matters! You guys will get him next time, don’t worry!”

As your vision became clearer, you recognized Dustin placing a small, pink bandage over the cut on your forehead. His voice was calm. Almost, too calm.

You felt pressure on your shoulder as you turned your head to look. Steve was sleeping on your shoulder, his face battered and bruised.

“Steve? Oh, God.” “Hey, don’t worry! He’s alright! He’s just passed out right now!” “No, no, no, no, who’s driving? Steve, wake up. Who’s driving!”

As you looked up at the drivers seat, you noticed a flash of red hair. You stomach dropped as you realized Max was driving as Lucas and Mike attempted to direct her.

“Oh my god. Steve, wake up.” You nudged him awake with your shoulder.

“Huh? What’s going on?” “Steve, Max is driving.” “OH MY GOD MAX IS DRIVING”

You eventually reached your destination relatively safely. You made a mental note to yell at the kids later and to also never, ever let Max drive.

While in the Upside Down, Steve stuck close by you. Of course, he wanted to make sure the kids were okay but you had a nasty cut on your forehead and were stumbling a bit. He had asked you to stay in the car, but you refused, insisting that you were okay. He makes a point to keep a close eye on you and stay close. He doesn’t know why he’s so worried but he tries to rationalize it as being concerned for his new friend.

After everything is said and done, Steve gives you a ride home. You’re both exhausted and injured, but he makes sure you’re okay. He even offers to spend the night watching movies with you if you’re too scared to sleep, but you refuse, sending him home.

Flash forward to the summer, you and Steve have become pretty good friends and you both find a job in the new Starcourt mall at an ice cream parlor.

When you first see Steve in his Scoops outfit, you can’t help but laugh.

“Aw, Steve, don’t be like that. You look adorable in your little sailor hat!” “Yeah, yeah, you have to wear it too, smartass.”

You convince yourself that the way his cheeks flare up at the word “adorable” is out of embarrassment and absolutely nothing else.

After everything was over, you and Steve arranged to have weekly movie nights with the party.

However, with Dustin gone to camp, Mike and El spending most of their time together, as well as Lucas and Max doing the same, it’s usually just you and Steve hanging out.

You can’t help but notice the way he sits stiffly with his leg brushing yours, almost as if he’s afraid to move any closer.

You and Steve also become pretty close to your coworker, Robin. With the kids busy, Robin becomes a new member for movie nights.

skipping forward because this is getting ridiculously long

Working with Robin, Steve, Dustin, and Lucas�� little sister, Erica, the five of you infiltrate a secret Russian lab below Starcourt mall.

You, Robin, and Steve somehow find yourselves kidnapped and drugged by evil Russians.

After escaping, the three of you are still pretty out of it. You somehow end up in the movie theater, watching Back To The Future.

After the movie, you and Steve find yourselves sitting on the bathroom floor, laughing about something you can’t quite recall.

“Wait, wait, wait. Listen, I have something so important to tell you.” “What?” You’re both giggling, barely able to make it through a sentence without busting out in laughter.

“I am so in love with you.” “What?”

Everything becomes much less funny. Steve is looking at you with the most intense look you’ve ever seen in his eyes.

It’s deathly quiet for a moment as you two look at each other.

Suddenly, you both break out into more laughter, clutching your stomachs and heaving over.

“God, you’re such an idiot.” You manage to get out between gasps for air.

“No, no, I’m being so serious.” Steve is laughing so hard his face is bright red and you genuinely think he’s going to pass out.

As the laughter dies out, the two of you sit silently on the floor. Occasional giggles are passed between you before the your mind suddenly becomes clearer and the weight of his words hit you.

“Steve, you’re literally on drugs, you don’t mean that.” You try to brush it off but somehow that only makes him laugh harder. He grabs your hand, looking at you while attempting to be serious.

“I have to tell you, now, or I’ll never be able to tell you.” He explains, referring to his drugged up state.

“Steve…” He leans in, gently brushing his lips against yours as if he’s testing you. When you don’t pull away, he presses his lips more firmly against yours, smiling through the kiss.

At the end of the night, after everything is over, the Mind Flayer is gone, and both Hopper and Billy are dead, Steve meets you in the back of an ambulance.

Having already been checked and cleared by the EMTs himself, he cautiously takes a seat next to you as you’re getting your wounds cleaned. He grabs your hand, interlocking your fingers almost nervously. When you look at him, he’s already looking over at you, a small smile on his face. You gently squeeze his hand, smiling back at him.

That night, Steve takes you home and, like he did the previous year, offers to spend the night with you. This time, you accept his offer, leading him inside.

[the-lone-witch-and-secret-room]

Camila Noceda and Flawed Parenting

A perspective by a flawed person with loving but extremely flawed parents

I’m genuinely baffled at some people’s hostile reaction towards Camila. Like… do any of you have flawless parents that always know the best solution instantly, make no mistakes and never get emotional?

My parents are great. They’re super supportive and I love them very, very much. Overall I think I got very lucky in the parents department.

But god, they are far from flawless. I still live at home, and despite all the good, there’s moments when I can’t take my dad anymore. He’s the kind of dad that stayed up until two am to help me with homework when I was in school, and he does so, so many things to make sure I’m happy. I know that. But despite all of this, I have told my mom in emotional moments before that I’m not sure if I can keep living with him, because for all his good sides, he has a couple of fatal flaws that sometimes make him unbearable.

My mom listens to me and is very open to being educated on certain topics, but she has her flaws, too. She hates when I fight with my dad, and gets so torn up about it that I’ve once apologized to my dad out of fear of her getting into a car crash otherwise. She’s very vocal about certain flaws of mine, and sometimes uses the things she does for me as leverage against me when she gets very emotional.

And both of my parents pay a lot more attention to my brother because he needs it more, because he’s more of a “problem child” while I “seem so capable” even when I’m not.

And guess what? I’m not a perfect child. I make mistakes sometimes, some of them pretty severe. Just like Luz, I’m the kind of person that struggles to communicate certain issues of mine to her parents. I’m stubborn, and when I get emotional, I say very hurtful things sometimes. So do they.

And this has nothing to do with my parents being horrible or abusive. They’re neither of those things.

The takeaway from this should not be that my entire family is made up of terrible people, but that we’re all flawed in our own ways, despite loving each other and trying our best. There’s things about my parents I wish I could change, and there are things about me that my parents wish they could change. And to an extent, that’s perfectly normal.

In our strengths and flaws and frustration with each other, we’re all human.

Specific, spoiler-y Camila and Luz things under the cut since this got very long.

We have no indication that Camila has a pattern of emotionally manipulating Luz. Her “emotional manipulation” as I’ve seen some people put it, is people for some reason thinking that the second you become an adult, you’re suddenly perfect and can no longer make mistakes, lest you’ll be dubbed horrible and abusive.

The whole concept is absurd to me. There is no perfect way to parent. There simply isn’t. Of course, there’s some genuinely abusive patterns that are horrible and inexcusable. But out of the parenting styles that aren’t, which one works depends on a number of factors, one of which absolutely includes that every child is different and has different needs. Camila is an amazing parent for Vee, giving the kid everything she’s ever longed for. She’s not an ideal parent for Luz. And that’s because Luz and Vee have fundamentally different needs.

Likewise, Luz is a pretty great child for Eda, but not a perfect fit for Camila. Luz relates to Eda a lot more than she relates to her mom, and that’s why the two of them have an easier time understanding each other. Both of these mother-child relationships exist, and one is not more doomed to fail than the other, but I think you’ll agree that the better you understand someone and where they’re coming from, the easier it is to communicate, pick up on certain signs, etc.

As mom and daughter, Camila and Luz are both flawed and have issues seeing the other’s perspective because of how different they are. And we should simultaneously acknowledge both of their roles in the issue and give both of them the space to learn and grow past those issues.

Luz struggles to communicate her problems. She doesn’t want to burden people in the demon realm, and it’s a given that this started out as not wanting to burden her mom. So she keeps quiet about her issues. Camila tries hard but can’t read her daughter’s mind, so there’s only so much she can do to understand and help the way Luz needs her to. Hell, Eda, who Luz is a lot more open with than her mom, struggles to help her, because Luz doesn’t tell her what’s wrong. I don’t see anyone calling Eda a terrible mom for that.

Camila tries her best, but she struggles to understand her daughter because of this, and because of how fundamentally different they are. She loves Luz’s creativity, we actively see her supporting it in the new episode—she keeps the weird stuff Luz made because she thinks Luz will regret throwing it away, and even plays along in what she assumes to be some elaborate role play because “she’s glad Luz kept her creativity even though it’s not made things easy for her at school”. But at the beginning of the show, said creativity got out of hand and people got hurt. Luz could’ve gotten hurt. So of course Camila had to interfere. I love Luz dearly, but she thought it was okay to bring snakes to school and set off fireworks inside a school building. Creativity is great. Doing reckless stuff that causes people to get hurt is not.

In sending Luz to camp, Camila tried to have someone else fix her issue because she didn’t know how to help Luz. That was a mistake, and a bad one at that, but she’s realizing that. She looks disheartened when Vee tries to throw out Luz’s stuff, because she never meant to change her daughter or take that part of her away. She just thought Luz needed a reality check—which, for the record, is something the narrative actually agrees with.

Luz spends her time in the demon realm getting reality check after reality check, realizing that even her ideal fantasy world where she has everything she always wanted doesn’t mean she’s free of consequences. She goes overboard constantly, causing:

-Eda to be forced to fly into a trap because Luz is chasing a fantasy (Witches before Wizards)

-Eda to almost be branded by her sister because Luz doesn’t think through why Eda doesn’t use magic to publicly announce her presence constantly (Once Upon a Swap)

-Eda and the twins to get kidnapped by a Slitherbeast because Luz stole Amity’s wand (Adventures in the Elements)

-Her friends to get hurt when she goes overboard trying to help Willow (Wing it like Witches)

-Eda to be captured and almost petrified because Luz thought she could just steal from the Emperor with no consequences in an attempt to help (Agony of a Witch)

I’m like 90% sure these aren’t even all. None of those make her a terrible person, for the record, but as all humans are, she is flawed and makes bad choices. She learns from these experiences and matures, just like her mom had hoped she would at camp. She’s also made friends there, which was another thing Camila wanted for her daughter.

You’ll probably realize that a lot of Luz’s behaviors I mentioned follow one of two patterns: 1. Luz’s idealized fantasy world causing problems, when she walks around with rose tinted glasses and gets people in trouble in the process because she hasn’t thought about the consequences, and 2. Luz trying to help someone she loves, but instead making things worse in the progress. The issue with this one is often that she doesn’t communicate her ideas/listen to the people she’s trying to help—like when Willow and Gus said they’ve had enough of Grudgby, or how she never actually talks to Eda about the healing hat idea before doing something reckless.

…does the latter one sound familiar to you at all? No? Because it’s the exact same thing that Camila did.

Some of the things Luz does are reckless and actively endanger others and herself, and that’s something that I think we need to acknowledge before judging Camila. As Luz’s mom, it’s Camila’s job to interfere in those situations. That she made a mistake while trying to protect Luz doesn’t make her a terrible person, especially as, again, the narrative proves her right to an extent.

I’m not saying her making Luz promise to come back and stay isn’t something that hurt Luz—it absolutely is. But it was born out of desperation. She’s emotional and in shock. She’s so full of pain and regret. She just wants her fourteen year old daughter home safe, and there’s nothing abusive or even morally ambiguous about that.

From Luz’s perspective, what she says is absolutely heartbreaking, but from Camila’s, it’s perfectly reasonable. I doubt Camila has the full picture, but even if she does, she’s had a full fifteen seconds to process that her daughter has not only been lying to her for months, but chose to leave her, and is in the demon realm of all places. Of course she’d be emotional and upset about that! Who wouldn’t? Camila isn’t a robot. If she’d been calm about this I’d be way more concerned, honestly.

My parents don’t get mad that easily, but if I would lie to them for weeks on end, they’d be pissed off too, not even taking the running away from home part into account. That’s a normal thing. People don’t like being lied to. Camila is absolutely devastated in that moment because she’s scared that Luz left because she hates her, when Luz actively states that her leaving wasn’t about her mom—which is another thing we should really be acknowledging.

Abusive parents suck and abuse should obviously never be apologized or trivialized, but saying something hurtful in the heat of the moment isn’t the same thing as being an abusive parent. My parents have done this. I’ve done this. And yes, those things can be emotionally manipulative, but there’s a huge difference in whether that’s a habit or a person speaking out of hurt and desperation in a very specific context. I doubt there’s anyone on the entire planet that hasn’t had a bad moment where they’ve said something like this because they were hurting. People lash out when they hurt, and they beg for reassurance when they’re scared. That’s something we all do.

The whole mindset of “all parents have to be perfect and can never get upset or make any mistakes” is harmful as hell, and honestly also very unrealistic. No parent is perfect, and especially people like me who have a relationship with their parents that’s very good overall should know that.

Once you have a child, parenting is a non-stop learning process, every day for the rest of your life. Taking away that room to grow and expecting perfection isn’t helping anyone, especially not struggling single parents.

And I see Camila as someone who is very willing to learn, because at the end of the day, all she wants is for Luz to be happy. Let’s give her some time to wrap her head around this whole situation. Let’s see what she says once she sees for herself how happy Luz is in that world, may it be via the videos eventually coming through or Camila visiting and meeting Luz’s found family, her friends and her girlfriend.

Ultimately, I don’t think Camila will force Luz to stay at home, but we have to give her some time. She wants what’s best for Luz, and she’s gonna need some convincing that a dangerous magical world is what’s best. I feel like that’s very normal considering the circumstances.

Her and Luz need to work on their communication on both ends, they both have things to learn, but I’m certain they’ll manage to fix their relationship in the long run.

If the bunk bed is any indication, I think Vee is gonna stay in the human realm permanently while Luz sleeps at home but keeps attending Hexside in the daytime. That feels like a solution that keeps everyone happy, and allows Luz to spend time with all the people she loves. I can’t see her being forced to choose at the end.

As a closing statement: Eda isn’t an ideal mom, Amity isn’t an ideal friend or girlfriend and neither is Luz, Lilith isn’t an ideal sister… but that’s because no one is ever an ideal anything. Being flawed is a big part of being human. Everyone has different facets to their personality. Their flaws are what makes them such great, relatable, believable characters.

And I feel the same way about Camila. She’s an extremely believable character that reminds me of my own parents, flawed but very loving nonetheless.

(Also honestly, I think it’s pretty telling that some of you guys immediately bash the black single mom that’s obviously trying her hardest while giving the benefit of the doubt to Alador, who has been portrayed as neglecting and threatened his six year old daughter on screen. This was already a thing before we knew much about either of them, and I’m disappointed but unfortunately not very surprised that it still is.)