#you dont need to be RIGHT but i do need to know 1) what are you trying to do 2) what have you done to achieve (i.e. post your damn code/ref
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it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent
#xmen#xmen comic#krakoa#cherik#snap chats#until the divorce of course but until then its actually so funny#how you really couldnt go a page or two without one or the other and the other one was close behind#ice climber ass duo over here. the delightful children from down the lane kind of proximity what the fuck was their PROBLEM#i feel like if one of them was teleported the other would just materialize right next to them thats how close they were#fuuuck what was the issue where sabretooth and co are in like. Brain Prison or something#and victor imagines charles but everyones like 'wait its weird if its just him where's magneto'#ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY and i NEED to know what issue that was .... to add it to my collection ....#also killed me how in immoral x-men issue 1 charles was yappin bout erik bein gone#and- God Bless Who i forget i think it was hope- was just 'can you please shut up about your dead boyfriend im begging you'#moira stronger than me if i had to deal with thing 1 and thing 2 on a daily basis i woulda snapped sooner frankly#ig when you live ten times through The Most Bullshit ever youre numb to most things but still. my god theyre so obnoxious#sorry im cackling at the bit in HoX where charles is about to announce krakoa to the world and erik's putting his hand on his shoulder#and you justs see moira in the back like dawgggg right in front of her .... can you two get a room#GENUINELY no im GENUINELY surprised they dont share a bedroom#im not even talking sharing a bed im taking my shipper goggles off im actually baffled they dont sleep in the same building#obvi id be lyin if i said i didnt love it tho To Be Real .. genuinely love seein them work together as a team .. until they werent </3#in every timeline they WILL divorce each other that's just the rule. actual canon event it cannot be changed or stopped its integral#ok ramble over. but not really not in spirit cause ill never be over this ill die before i am#im gonna go eat now i think i think thats something i As A Human has to do at least once a day
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Celestial Bodies AU (7/?)
(Part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6. Also on AO3)
Sometimes, it felt like the whole world was against her.
It was especially evident in Batman's pissy attitude and his insistence on her quitting her night job, despite how he allowed Tim and Dick to do whatever they wanted.
She may not have been trained like those two, but it didn't mean that he couldn't step up and teach her, right? She had to rely on her own wits and Tim's sporadic (and admittedly rather lackluster) moments of teaching in order to know how to defend herself without a weapon.
So yeah, now that she had an opportunity to rub it in Bruce's face that he was wrong to dismiss her, she wouldn't let this opportunity go!
At least, that was what she was thinking before the harsh reality of being stuck to Batman all the time hit her.
Quite literally.
Robin groaned, rubbing her sore shoulders after another day of patrol with Batman. She messaged Tim with one hand while the other started taking off her cape and belt. She started peeling off her mask as Tim responded back.
Girl Wonder: tim
Girl Wonder: howas ur day
Boy Loser: Fine
Boy Loser: How was yours
Girl Wonder: pandil
Girl Wonder: painful*
Boy Loser: Lmaoaoaoao
Stephanie sighed again, as Tim started teasing her about the spelling mistake. Sometimes, he would let it go and sometimes, he had to rub it in her face. Usually, she would just roll her eyes fondly and take the ribbing, but today, she just wanted comfort.
After Tim had been forced to shelve Robin after his dad found out about his secret identity, he has given her the role of becoming Robin. She had taken it with great reverence, but Batman clearly wasn’t ready to let go of Tim yet, because he was an absolute asshole while training her.
She felt like perhaps he was seeing someone else through her (either Tim or someone else…?) but it was so tiring and infuriating that she didn’t mention it, only wanting to quit Robin after a few weeks of this near-torture.
Batman was oddly petty for a man who spent his life fighting crime.
… wait a minute.
Stephanie sighed again.
Boy Loser: ... Steph? You alright?
Stephanie pursed her lips as she realized her uncharacteristic lack of reply was now worrying Tim.
Girl Wonder: yea
Girl Wonder: B is being a dick
Boy Loser: ... I wish I could make some sort of Dick joke but I feel like it won't be appreciated rn
Boy Loser: What happened?
Stephanie chuckled a little and continued to reply.
Girl Wonder: nthing but he keeps putting me down
Girl Wonder: it pisses me off
Girl Robin: im robin now! i dont deserve this
The three talking dots popped up as Tim began typing out his reply and Stephanie waited, suddenly wondering if she had been too whiny and he was annoyed. After all, how many people got to say that they were handed the Robin costume by an actual Robin and then allowed to be Batman's sidekick? She needed to be grateful, but it was difficult when Batman was being a little bi—
Okay, deep breaths.
Stephanie shook off her thoughts, just as Tim finally replied.
Boy Loser: How about going to meet the cluster?
She blinked.
Girl Wonder: the wut?
Boy Loser: The Phantom Cluster? All Robins got a star bonded to them. Like mine, remember?
She paused again.
She didn't know much about the Phantom Cluster. All she knew were that they were a group of cursed children who were forced into becoming sentient stars. They were considered all-knowing, but relied on a Robin in order to exploit some unknown loophole in their curse and grow up past their frozen ages.
At least, that was what Tim had explained to her.
Girl Wonder: ... can i do that?
Boy Loser: I'll come and bring you to them?
Boy Loser: I want to see my star anyways.
Wow, she almost wanted to feel jealous, but she had already been long aware of his obsession with his star and now it was just funny to see how close he was to them.
Girl Wonder: ok
Boy Loser: Sweet. Stay there
Her eyes widened.
Girl Wonder: right now??
He didn't respond. Only 10 minutes later, as Stephanie debated between taking off her uniform or leaving it on to leave a more professional impression on the stars, did Tim scurry into the Batcave with a breathless smile.
"Let's go!" He said. "I snuck past my dad and Bruce for this."
Stephanie laughed, "You're so excited! Don't you have camera feed of your star? It's not like you haven't seen her in a while."
"Nothing beats seeing her in person," Tim grinned. "C'mon, I'll show you how to get to the cluster."
He directed her towards the tube and began explaining its mechanisms and codes for various locations. Stephanie listened carefully, although there were butterflies in her stomach as she thought about meeting the cluster.
Would they hate her?
After all, no matter how much she wished she was, she wasn't like the other Robins. If all of the previous Robins had a star, would she be considered different if she didn’t have one herself?
Suddenly, she felt nauseous. What if she wasn’t chosen? Would it be further proof that she wasn’t meant to be a hero?
She suddenly felt a hand slide into hers. She blinked and looked up as Tim gave her a small, reassuring smile.
“It’ll be okay, I promise. They’re nice.”
Stephanie returned his look with a shaky smile and then the two of them went into the tube, and off they went.
When they landed, Stephanie barely had a moment to bounce back before Tim was pulling her through the metal halls. They walked for a while, and Tim finally burst from the silence.
“Did you read the files about the Phantom Cluster?”
“They’re locked to me,” Stephanie replied. “I only know what you and Dick told me and that they’re a group of sentient stars.”
“That’s because Bruce can get… irritated and try to delete or edit the information. We locked it so only Robins know the passwords,” Tim explained. “But the Phantom Cluster is a group of sentient astronomical bodies, such as several stars and planets. There’s six of the main ones, but there are also a few other planets that can occasionally communicate with them. However, they’re not as sentient and only the six in the middle is— actually, I’ll just let you see for yourself.”
Stephanie followed him and when he finally opened the doors to the command room, she stopped in place and stared.
The room they were in was shaped like a half circle, and all of the walls were covered in glass, allowing ample view of the stars outside. In front of the glass were several machines and computers, silent as they flashed with notifications and alerts about the readings of the stars.
A soft song was playing, one made entirely by voices. It was angelic, like that of a choir and it sent a shiver down Stephanie’s spine as the chilling and seductive music wrapped around her like a siren’s call.
But she wasn’t too focused on the singing.
No, she was focused on the stars.
They were beautiful.
Dick had mentioned it once, how much he loved looking at them. Tim had also mentioned it several times, of how he visited them just to watch them and to see his star.
With the way they spoke of them at times, Stephanie sometimes wondered if they were brainwashed.
But now, she could understand.
Humans had always been fascinated by the stars. It was what created astronomy, telescopes, stories of constellations and space travel and aliens, it was what created NASA and the moon landing and astrology and rocket ships.
She could understand it now.
In the middle of space was a cluster of stars. Four of them whirled and twirled around each other with various degrees of energy. One in particular spun and slowed down in intervals, like doing a skip during a walk because it was so excited that it had to jump a little, but it still wanted to keep pace with the group.
There were also two planets, one covered in clouds and the other was a red and yellow sandy looking planet with wide rings surrounding it. They circled the stars quickly, but carefully, like trying to keep close but also not wanting to bump into the hot balls of gasses. A variety of asteroids and other smaller planets then circled them at a distance, as if not wanting to get closer.
Stephanie could quite literally see the personality within all of them, as they orbited one another.
Tim grinned. “They’re amazing, right?”
“You weren’t kidding,” she breathed.
Tim pulled her to the window and then pointed at a large, bluish star. “That’s Dick’s. We call it Nightwing’s star or Dick’s star. He’s one of the oldest and also the largest. He can be kinda mean, but he protects Dick a lot.”
“How can a star be mean?” Stephanie wondered. She watched as Dick’s star spun and then directed the pretty pink and purple clouds towards two other astronomical bodies.
“You’ll know what I mean,” Timothy said, before pointing to another celestial body. This time, it was a swirling, bow-tie shaped thing that was funneling gas and dust. There were two of them, but this one was distinctly colored blue and was smaller than the other.
“Is that…?”
“Yeah. That one is my star. Well, she’s actually a baby star— a protostar,” Timothy proclaimed proudly. “Isn’t she beautiful? I call her partner.”
Stephanie stared with a mixture of amazement and endearment. “She’s pretty cute. She’s smaller than all of the others!”
“Yeah. She’s the baby of the cluster.” He pointed to the other protostar. “And that one is… Jason’s.”
Stephanie stared at its enormous, funneling body and nodded slowly. “… it shows that he’s alive, huh?”
“Yeah. That’s the big sister of the cluster. She’s Jason’s star, and we don’t know how but… they’re back.”
Stephanie nodded again. She knew of this. Before Tim quit and while she was still Spoiler, she would occasionally babysit Gotham whenever he left with Nightwing in order to search for Jason.
“…. At least they’re both back?” She offered awkwardly.
Tim nodded. “At least they’re back.” He pointed to a small, faintly glowing blue and green ball that was following Tim’s star. “That one is the King. He takes care of the other stars and he’s a neutron star. He also used to be a hero, like us, before he died.”
“How young was he? Do we know?”
Tim met eyes with her.
“He was fourteen when he died,” he said softly, and Stephanie pursed her lips.
The amount of child heroes who died before 16 was quite uncomfortable.
The atmosphere was suddenly awkward, but Tim forcibly changed the subject and pointed to the two planets. “And lastly, these are the other two planets. They’re part of the ones singing as well as the main six of the cluster. That one is a rocky planet and that one has life on it, but we haven’t been able to touch down on either of them.”
Stephanie blinked and leaned closer to the glass in awe, squinting to try and see past the thick clouds. “Life? Like Earth? Why can’t we land?”
“They won’t let us. Sometimes, we can fly along their orbit, but when they get mad or want to stop us, they’ll push us back. The stars will help and send out solar flares and if they get really pissed, well, it’s not pretty.”
Interested, Stephanie asked, “What happens?”
Tim shrugged. “I'm not sure. But there were some people who betrayed the Justice League and tried to come here to take over. The stars took them out.”
Stephanie’s eyebrows rose.
She looked around for an invisible camera.
Did Timothy Drake, once Robin, just tell her that the stars killed people?
“Wait, what? How?”
“One ship got pulled in via the gravitational pull and then exploded on Dick’s star, and another ship had an asteroid hit them and a hole appeared in the hull. They all died.”
Stephanie recoiled. “Wait, seriously? They all died?”
Tim nodded. “Yeah. The Justice League was pissed. Dick argued that the stars were just defending themselves and—“
“The Justice League was mad at the stars??”
Stephanie felt like she was learning too many things at once. She was almost dizzy from the confusion.
Timothy gave her a light glare for interrupting him again but said, “The Justice League was angry since they had deliberately killed people. Even the asteroid was intentional.” He shrugged then. “But what can they do? Punish the Cluster? Dick fought for them and they’re still here as allies to the Justice League and to the Robins. But that’s also why you don’t see any other heroes here. They kinda stopped coming after that, though Superman does visit sometimes.”
“… wow. That’s so messed up on so many levels.”
Tim grinned.
“So, ready to introduce yourself? They’re waiting.”
Well, that wasn’t ominous at all. Especially with all of the very nice, normal things he just told her about the stars.
Stephanie told him that and he laughed. She took that brief moment to allow the panic to sink in and then flow out of her as she took a deep breath.
“Okay,” she said, facing the main communicator, “I’m ready.”
“I’ll introduce you,” Tim said. He tapped the glass softly and then said, "Hello, everyone."
There was a pause as the hair rose on the back of Stephanie's neck, and she listened as the sound of angelic song slowed to a halt, allowing only ocean waves and TV static to fill the room with an energy that she could not place.
The crackle of static and burbling of water was the only sound for awhile.
And then—
"Hey, partner."
Tim beamed. "Hey, partner. It's good to see you. You're getting bigger, huh?"
The protostar gave a deliberate whirl, sparkling as gas and dust rubbed against each other within its accretion disks.
There was suddenly an angry, high pitched noise on the communicator.
Both Stephanie and Tim winced, although Tim also looked exasperated.
Dick's star, which had been silently following the orbital path suddenly froze in place. It turned slowly, seemingly facing in one spot before stopping completely, its edges flaring with bursts of light.
“Is… is that Dick's star glaring at you?” She said, bordering on a laugh. Tim’s star did a cycle around the other protostar and then did a loop around Dick’s star, as if trying to poke it into reacting. Dick’s star was still for a moment longer, before inching along their orbital path again without spinning, as if still trying to keep its eyes on Tim through the glass.
She burst into giggles, absolutely delighted in the way Tim looked exasperated and resigned of a star seemingly trying to antagonize him.
“Yeah. He’s like that a lot whenever I’m around,” Tim sighed exaggeratedly.
“That’s so cute! To be honest, I didn’t expect them to have so much personality.”
“Yeah, me too. But once you get to know them, they’re really fun. Even if Dick’s star hates my guts.”
Stephanie giggled again. “He’s like an overprotective dad.”
“Yeah, but at least I'm not the only one he hates. He also really— uhm.” Timothy paused in the middle of his tirade.
Stephanie blinked and turned to stare at him.
Timothy looked uncomfortable, but soldiered on and continued, “But I also heard that he disliked Jason too. Apparently, he was pissed when Jason got his star. He has a real complex about his sisters from what we know.”
Stephanie tried to imagine the image of a big blue ball throwing a hissy fit because his sisters were being taken away by human boys, and the absurdity made her laugh.
“Aww, poor guy!” She snickered. “He just wants you stinky boys away from his sisters.”
“Hey!” Timothy exclaimed with a playful glare. “I take showers!”
"Coulda fooled me!"
Tim huffed a laugh and then addressed the Cluster again. "Everyone, this is Robin."
There was a pause, and then the Cluster spoke in unison, a whispery coo, "Hello, Robin."
Stephanie breathed out a sigh of relief as Tim perked up, smiling broadly.
One voice in particular spoke up over the rest.
"Robin, I have someone who'd like to make a deal with you."
Its voice was soft and light, but there was a quality within that made her want to relax within its soothing reverb.
Stephanie couldn't help grabbing at Tim in excitement, who patted her hand with a wide grin.
"Would you like to accept?"
She coughed to calm herself down. "... who is asking?"
The communicator crackled and then the cluster spoke again, with the one voice leading in front, "Come into the space pod and you will be taken to him."
Stephanie met eyes with Tim. Timothy raised an eyebrow and then shrugged.
"Now what?"
"... I guess you go?"
She gulped. She looked at Tim for reassurances, for him to tell her— something, but he didn't.
He just stared at her and then smiled, a glint in his eyes that she knew was him knowing something that he didn't want to share.
Stephanie sighed.
She went into the space pod that was attached to the station with instructions to just stay still and let the Cluster's solar winds lead her to where she needed to go, and off she sent.
Stephanie sat in the space pod, watching the distant stars and galaxies while she was slowly led deeper and deeper into the Phantom Cluster. The communicator crackled with no words as she sat there in a drifting metal ship within the vacuum of space.
For a moment, she wondered if she was going to die.
She wondered if they were rejecting her and would then kill her via asteroid smashing into the pod or fire as they guided her straight into a star's surface.
She wondered if this was going to be the last thing she ever saw, stars and planets and galaxies in her eyes before her life ended, but when she blinked, she was sailing straight into the golden planet with rings.
Her eyes widened and she held on as the pod began to shake with its descent into a planet's atmosphere.
She yelped as the pod sank past the deep yellow clouds and then she was falling.
"Oh fuck!" She screamed, as she immediately tried steadying the pod.
But there was nothing. The buttons on the pod were not meant to let the driver steer, since it was merely an extension of the space shuttle that the stars were meant to guide themselves.
For a moment, she cursed Tim and Dick and all of the Robins and their insane trust in the stars for creating a death trap of a machine, and as her heart lurched into her throat, she was suddenly caught and the pod stilled.
She looked out the window and gaped.
Metal contraptions were floating in the air, attaching to the pod to slowly bring it down to the ground.
No, wait, it wasn't floating. The metal contraptions were part of the ground too. They looked like long tentacles that drifted from the ground to bring her down.
A shudder ran down Stephanie's spine.
What did this mean?
Had someone landed on the planet before the Justice League or the Robins had?
When she was guided down onto the ground, she hesitated.
She was not like Tim or Dick. Hell, she didn't even become Robin because she particularly wanted to or because Bruce offered. She became Robin only because Tim asked her to take care of Gotham while he was a civilian.
She was Spoiler before she was Robin. She was not like the others.
(She wasn't even a boy, or a particularly good Robin. Batman had never treated the other Robins like he treated her: carelessly, callously, coldly.)
But the thought of getting Batman's approval, of being a real Robin made her move. She pressed the button and the door opened.
For a moment, she worried that she wouldn't have been able to breathe, but before she could worry about lack of oxygen, something sand colored began crawling towards her at high speeds.
She screamed and immediately flew back to the pod, trying to close the door to no avail.
Looking closer, it was like some bizarre mix between a gold colored android and a mummy. It was the size of an adult man and looked half broken, like it needed repairing. It didn't matter though, because it was approaching the space pod rapidly and Stephanie was weaponless.
She shrieked again when the android climbed into the pod and started crawling after her. She kicked at it and it stopped moving when she started screaming and cried out, “What the hell!”
It twitched and then crept towards her again.
Stephanie waved a hand hurriedly. “No, no! Don’t get closer!”
It paused.
Stephanie almost could've cried.
Just what was going on?
The android twitched and then it pulled out something from a pouch on its waist.
It clicked and then laid the thing on the ground at her feet.
Stephanie flinched and moved away.
"What is that?" She asked, thankful that she did not stutter.
The communicator finally spoke then, and a voice called out, "That's a mask to help you breathe. If you don't want sand or glass in your lungs, wear it."
Stephanie blinked and turned her head, though she didn't take her eyes off of the android thing.
"Are you... the planet?"
The echoey voice of a planetary body made him sound wistful as he hummed, "Mhm. You should leave the ship."
"What about..." she did a vague gesture towards the mummy-android thing.
"He's a helper. He won't hurt you."
Stephanie hesitated for only a second before she moved. She took the mask and fit it onto her face. Then she carefully followed the helper. It crawled away and led her to their destination, but as Stephanie stared at it, she realized that its legs were broken off.
Was it damaged?
She didn’t ask, a little too weirded out by the entire situation. Instead, she observed the world around her.
The ground was dry with dirt and sand. A light wind blew the sand in billowing, gold swirls. She noticed that the mask seemed to protect her from the sand, since she felt none of the wind against her skin, and she narrowed her eyes before looking up at the red sky. Slightly visible above the yellow clouds, was the bright figures of the other stars, glowing brightly like white circles.
The air was thick, like she was breathing through a heavy, dry soup. The temperature was hot, almost scorching, but Stephanie persisted as the robot continued.
She swallowed, trudging carefully past the thick sand, and the robot thing led her to a blocky mobile home-looking machine. It stopped by the door and tilted its head.
Stephanie shivered. “Am I… supposed to go inside?”
It creaked and then nodded.
Stephanie cursed out Tim again and then stepped inside, pushing the heavy door with a grunt. Piles of sand covered the floor, making her feet sink as she walked through.
It was like a small cabin made of metal. Inside were tables and a bed, all crowded in unreadable papers and books. Wires and metal tubes covered the ceiling in a tangled mess, and a large supercomputer was attached to the wall at the end of the room.
The screen buzzed with static.
Stephanie stared, watching the faint light of the computer sparkle across the dark room, lighting everything with dark shadows before she stepped through the sand and approached like a mindless puppet.
When she was close enough to the computer screen, it flickered with a spark before turning black. Stephanie tensed.
The air began to feel heavy, like a pressure was being put on her, like eyes were beginning to watch her.
There was a hum, and then the screen crackled.
It turned black, and then pale bronze words began to type, one by one in quick succession.
“Hello, Robin.”
There was no sound, beyond the hum of machinery and the faint back-and-forth of rising tides, despite this place clearly being a desert planet.
Stephanie swallowed again.
“Hello,” she said carefully. She laughed a little, trying to shake off the jitters. “This whole thing is very creepy, y’know?”
“LOL, sorry about that. I’m glad you’re here, Robin.”
She laughed at the first statement, finding it surreal as to how a planet knew how to use words like “LOL”. At the second sentence, she bowed her head, a weird flare of happiness appearing within her, the humor quickly dying and being replaced by a sense of pride. “Glad to be here,” she mumbled. “Are you… are you the planet?”
The silence was brief, but oddly, she could tell that its personality was pleasant.
“Yes.”
Her mouth felt dry. She just wanted to confirm that the same being who spoke to her on the communicator was the one on the computer, but she still couldn't help but feel a sense of cold going down her spine.
So this was the strength and power of a celestial entity?
“… what is all of this? If you’re a planet, then… who created all of this stuff?”
The pressure grew heavier, like a hand was being pressed down on her. Stephanie tried to straighten underneath it, but it felt gentle and firm, like the hand of her mother when she wanted to scold her but didn’t have the heart to do so.
It made her feel cold and sleepy, but she was awake as the planet then spoke.
"Would you like to make a deal with me?"
The planet asked, and Stephanie hesitated.
Why did it not answer her question? Should she continue to press for answers?
She did not feel the same devotion and love that the other Robins did. She did not know if it was because she was not a real Robin or if it was because she was different from the others, but she just didn't feel the same blind trust for the stars.
(But…
She wanted the approval of Batman. Of Gotham. Of the other Robins. Of the stars.)
She decided not to ask again.
"What... what would it mean? To make a deal with you?"
"You'll be my host,"
Was the patient reply.
"How am I supposed to be a host? What does it do?"
"Just live. And be your true self."
She bit her lip.
But then she thought, what was she supposed to lose?
Every other Robin had a star. Only she didn't have one, and this was her chance.
She wanted to do good. To be good.
"Deal," she said, and the machine crackled. “I’ll be your host.”
“So be it.”
Stephanie had placed her hand carelessly on the machine’s surface, and in the next moment, her palms began to burn. She yelped, but it hadn’t actually hurt. The surprise of the heat made her pull back and she raised her hand to look at her right palm, where a four pointed star now bloomed into existence.
The highest point touched past the second knuckle of her middle finger, while the lowest point reached her wrist. Bronze yellow and wine purple blended together into something unique and beautiful and a flare of warmth spread throughout Stephanie’s body and into her chest.
No wonder the Boy Wonders were so devoted to the stars.
So this is what it felt like to become a host of the stars.
Cheerfully, Stephanie asked, “What do I call you? Is there anything you want me to do for you?”
“Call me whatever you like. And I’ll tell you if I need something.”
Another line appeared below that one.
“Thank you, Robin. For saving me.”
Stephanie blushed. “Okay! Uh, bro!”
“LOL. OK, buddy.”
Later, when her ship was guided back to the sky with the unexplained metal tubes, she was met back into the Phantom Space Station with a pacing Tim, who beamed when he saw her.
“How was it! Did you get it!? Who were they?! What did you call them?!”
Stephanie grinned and presented her palm to him.
Tim squealed.
————
Batman was not as thrilled, but nothing she could do satisfied him much anyways. Nightwing and Oracle were delighted to hear about her new celestial body, while Batgirl looked interested and curious.
Robin was just happy that she had her own celestial body to herself.
At first, it was awkward as Robin didn't understand the signs or signals that were given to her by her astronomical object, but Nightwing and Tim had no problem helping her understand how to interpret them. As time continued, they began to work together in amazing ways.
Whenever she dealt with any machinery (which was unfortunately a lot as too many people had access to bombs for some reason), it was always handled easier than before. She also felt no more fatigue or exhaustion from traveling in hot, dry weather, and had a minor immunity to heat and electricity.
Her abilities were not entirely unique, as she discovered that the other Robins also had shared abilities, but only she could communicate with her celestial body through her phone or computer.
She learned that he was a funny, easy-going individual who loved food and meat dishes and technology.
In many ways, he was so human that she often forgot that he wasn’t actually one.
It made her feel complicated, remembering how he was once a child, just like her, before whatever happened to him and the other astronomical objects.
But no matter how she asked or cajoled or coaxed, it was useless because he shut down every single time.
In the end, all she knew was this.
Whatever curse was placed upon the stars, only the Robins could save them.
So she just shrugged it off and continued to chat and use her planet’s help in being a better vigilante. With his technological help and his aid in guiding her, she was slowly learning new hobbies, better techniques, and more knowledge.
Robin was relearning her place in the hero scene as the partner of Batman, and with her celestial body by her side, she knew that she could do anything.
But all good things must come to an end. Like how great TV shows got canceled, like how the last day of childhood ended, like how everyone died eventually, like how the sea pulled back, like how stars evaporated from going supernova.
It had happened so suddenly.
She had thought she was doing well.
Robin— no, Stephanie bit her lip.
She wasn't Robin anymore.
Batman had fired her.
She fought back the tears in her eyes at the injustice of it all. She knew she made mistakes. She knew she wasn't perfect. But she just wanted to feel like she belonged, like she was doing good.
It wasn't fair how everyone else made mistakes, but she wasn't allowed. So that was why she decided that she had to prove herself.
She had thought that she was doing so well, but Batman had not thought the same.
It had not even taken him a second thought before he fired her.
He would have never treated any of the other Robins this way.
(Somewhere in the sky, the stars murmured to themselves, tending to their comatose sister.)
She was about to look into the files of the Batcomputer for a plan to implement and prove herself as a hero, when the keyboards sparked as she pressed her fingers down.
She paused.
The spark crackled and then flew into the computer with a fizzle. The screen glitched and then turned black and Stephanie froze as an intense wave of fear entered her, quickening her breath and heartbeat until she was frozen with terror, almost unable to breathe.
The feeling of being watched by an otherworldly being washed over her again, more pervasive than ever before.
The screen flickered and then coppery yellow words appeared. The fear began to fade like a lowering tide and Stephanie finally breathed as she read the words that began to type.
"Stop what you're doing."
The sound of space filled the Batcave with a hiss, the familiar crackle of technology struggling to understand the words of celestial objects and the ocean waves of outer space, washing over her like the unforgiving sea.
"... buddy?"
The keyboard moved without her input. Words were typed onto the screen by unseen hands.
"I'm here."
His words were reassuring, but the next sentences that appeared were anything but.
"Stop what you're doing, Robin. You'll kill yourself."
The stars could see the future. They often warned the Justice League of future events and dangers, and even the Robins were often given prophetic dreams when the stars could offer them. Jason was the best example, as the only Robin so far who could communicate with his star in dreams. Everything he had known from the stars were foretold as true.
This fact popped into Stephanie's mind.
Her vision began to blur from an onslaught of tears. Her breath hitched and then she sobbed.
Oh stars.
Nothing she did was right.
She covered her face and whimpered. Tears involuntarily flowed down her face and her cheeks felt hot with humiliation and shame. Humiliation for being caught at trying to hack the Batcomputer to come back as Robin, and shame as she realized that she would've inconvenienced everyone by dying doing so.
Was this a sign that she was actually supposed to abandon her life as a vigilante?
The keyboard tapped away again. She blinked the tears from her eyes and looked up through blurry vision.
"Don't cry. You're still my Robin."
Stephanie sniffed. Finally, she croaked, "What?"
"You were Robin once. But that's not your future. You have another identity, don't you?"
Spoiler.
Stephanie straightened her back as she realized what he was trying to imply. After a moment, as the realization set in, she reached up to wipe her eyes. She breathed in deeply and calmed herself down forcibly.
"Are you saying that... I should go back to being Spoiler?"
"You were never meant to stay as a Robin, bro."
The casual, flippant "bro" was so absurd that she giggled wetly.
She stood up from the chair and nodded, blinking the sting from her eyes.
But she felt better.
Sharp relief filled her and she shuddered at the swell of emotion that got rid of the dark negativity within her.
Suddenly, she knew who she was.
Like Nightwing, she had found her true calling. But unlike the others, unlike any other Robin, she was returning to her true identity.
A Spoiler of secrets and evil plans.
She wore purple far before she wore red, yellow, and green. She was a vigilante far before Batman. She was a Spoiler far before she was a Robin.
And just because she had changed her identity, just because Batman fired her, just because she had failed in one thing did not mean she had failed entirely.
Now she was almost embarrassed, but she just felt relieved more than anything. It made her want to go slack, but she took another deep breath to calm down.
"Okay," she said softly. "Okay. You'll be with me, right, buddy?"
She looked up as the keyboard clacks continued and golden letters started to appear on the screen again. Even though there was nothing spoken aloud, she could sense the affection in each word as her celestial body typed a response for her.
"Of course. I'll always be here for you."
Stephanie beamed and tidied up the Batcomputer before leaving the cave.
She did not need Batman to be a hero.
Just like she didn't need to be Robin to do something more with her life either.
The next day, as she put on her old uniform, dark purples and magentas and blacks, she checked up on her astronomical body with the tablet given to her by Tim and laughed.
A pale yellow moon was following her planet.
A gentle song came from the screen, soft and soothing, a sign of change and revival, like the rain after a period of drought, like the peeking flower buds underneath snow, like the moon's reappearance after a dark night.
In it, she could hear a third voice, a male voice that was lighter than Dick's star, one with a hint of teenage youthfulness and strength.
Stephanie smiled, touching the screen with her right palm.
“Is that yours? Are you in your final form?" She asked with a small smile. “Did that appear because I’m Spoiler again?”
The moon gave a little deliberate twirl and Stephanie grinned.
She pulled out her grappling gun and then opened the window to her apartment. She jumped out onto the roof and aimed the grappling hook. With a single shot, she hit a building and then jumped, flying through the air with a loud whoop.
The Spoiler was back.
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Soooo much lore. I’m not sure who would’ve betrayed the Justice League, but knowing DC’s long history, there’s probably someone, right??
Nothing makes me lmao more than having Dan hate on Jason and Tim bc they’re too close to his sisters.
Tucker with the ability to communicate with Steph through tech!!
Him guiding her through becoming a hero on her own right without Batman 🥹 the reason why she feels different from the other Robins is bc she actually doesn’t feel different, she’s just doesn’t understand the feeling.
Also, has anyone noticed that a lot of the events that make a Robin who they are is basically Bruce being a jerk or an uncommunicative asshole? Like seriously, I'm struggling to make him a good dad sometimes.
Planet classification is not as fun as stellar classification… but Tucker is an extragalactic, chthonian, and desert or terrestrial giant exoplanet. Extragalactic = outside of the Milky Way, chthonian = a gas giant that’s been stripped of its gas layers and circles really close to its star, terrestrial = made of rocks or metals, exoplanet = a planet that orbits another star from the Sun.
…. Ik it’s a lot, but I had to get specific. In essence however, he’s just a terrestrial giant exoplanet. He’s big, but only around the size of Neptune or Uranus.
Why does Stephanie get saved but not Jason? You will find out :) writing these as one-shots mean that they take time, also bc I’m close to finals and my classes are getting harder.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#danny phantom x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc crossover#celestial object au#stephanie brown#tucker foley#tim drake#phantom family
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Hiii I have 2 req ideas and I can’t really choose between them so could you choose for me??
1: miles42 finding out that his little sister has a bf
2: miles42 having a little sister that works at achemex too, but she didn’t really do what she’s supposed to do on missions and just messes around all the time
42! Miles Morales finding out that his little sister has a bf
Pairings: Miles & Lil Sister! Reader
Warnings: Fluff
A/N: I'd say that it'd be funny fr miles 42 staring down at his sister when she has a boyfriend and be like "Who you sneakin off to" like how rio acted to miles 1610 when he went off with gwen.
- You've recently started to date a guy your age and he made you feel happy about yourself and felt close - So obviously you had to hide it from your brother and mama rio because you weren't exactly to tell them since whats going on with the city - Here you were getting read for a date with him but as soon as you opened the door you had miles staring you down - you were like one year younger then him but here he was arms crossed and scowling "who you runnin off too" it felt like you were under investigation - "No one" as you try to move past he blocks it "uh uh you tell me where you going? who you going out with? is it genkie? I never liked that guy" "YES YOU DID AND HE'S YOUR BESTFRIEND?!" "Shush" (yall better get the refrence) - So here you were sat down as he pryed you off of every information - "So where you running off to?" "To a karoke place then bowling" "With who" "Lila, Mari, Will and [Guys name}" and here was the longer even worse stare down as he spoke "Does ma know" "of course she does!" - So when you left he was obvs in his prowler costume making sure you were safe walking around but when he noticed how you were holding a guys hand he was 100% gonna scold you and then tease you - As your older brother he was worried yet he made so much fun of you - If you go on dates he makes sure your protected properly with everything you need and make sure that he treats you right when he picks you up miles doesn't want any of that stupid bullshit - Uncle Aaron scared the shit out of your boyfriend Him and Miles was obvs staring him down and he 100% was scared but they welcomed him but reminded him that if he ever broke your heart they'd make sure he gets hurt - Miles 42 would be an amazing brother every version of miles is and he protects you cause your his younger sister even if its one year apart - Miles likes to tease you alot I mean you teased him about his partner so he had the rights to tease you back - def walks into your room when you and your bf are cuddling and makes sure to keep the door open as you shout at him to close the door - Broke into your room again when you were gonna kiss your bf but he was holding a shoe "Nah bro dont even try it or try me drop my sis" - Miles and your bf become gaming buds and the fact he makes fun of him when he loses oh how smug he is and makes fun of your boyfriend proudly - he's very supportive after awhile but is still defensive he already lost his dad and you along with your mother are everything to him he can't lose another uncle aaron and him also may have tabs to make sure that he never does anything shitty to ya.
reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
©brights-place 2024 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact
#miles x reader#atsv x reader#spiderman: across the spiderverse#spiderman across the spiderverse#spiderman#spiderman into the spider verse#across the spiderverse#miles morales#miles morales x reader#spiderverse x reader#spiderverse x you#spiderverse x y/n#miles morales x you#miles morales x y/n#fluff#x reader#headcannons#spiderverse#miles morales imagine#spiderman x reader#spiderman imagine#itsv#earth 42 miles morales#itsv imagine#itsv x reader#spiderverse imagine#spiderman atsv#marvel#marvel imagine#marvel x reader
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okay you know what ill respond to this brain dead bullshit on the post itself not just the replies, @doctor-slop literally Do The Fucking Math, because mathematically: nope!
see all these competitive swing states? the ones people watch, the ones that decide the election? if donald trump has a single vote over 50% in them, mathematically it is impossible for third party voters to have decided the election, because we live in a "first past the post" county, 50.000001%=winner. Out of the 7 swing states lost here, only 2 of them you could mathematically argue might have flipped blue if you gave kamala the swing voters, except you have to ignore the fact that a lot of the swing voters would have gone trump instead.
georgia? if every single third party vote switched to kamala, INCLUDING the right wing libertarian third party voters, it still only equals 49.3%. even with third parties, kamala loses georgia.
Pennsylvania? again, kamala only gets 49.3%. kamala loses.
arizona? kamala only gets 48.1%. kamala loses.
michigan? wisconsin? well, step 1 is forgetting the fact that all those robert F. kennedy voters would probs have voted for trump anyway, so would a lot of the libertarians voting for chase oliver probs, easily putting him over 50% in both states anyway, but yeah sure. heres a couple of states kamala could have won if she managed to win over both EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ROBERT F KENNEDY VOTER AND THE LIBERTARIAN GUN NUTS, congrats!!! wooo you have Two Fucking States that could maybe have flipped in fantasyland
unless we see a massive change in the voting numbers from stuff like mail in ballots being cured giving trump less than 49.99999% in a buncha swing states, but at least based on the currently reported numbers, no, you cannot realistically argue that third party voters voters lost the election. thats not how numbers work. you could MAYBE argue that "ohhhh if we had the jill stein voters AND the people deciding not to vote MAYBE—", but how many people not voting did it out of protest vs how many people did it cause they just dont pay attention to politics? dunno!!! and neither do you!!!! besides, you said its purely on "third party voters 100% unequivocally", cant bring nonvoters into it with that solid of a statement.
just. for the love of fucking christ, Learn How Math Works. learn how our fucked up electoral college system works. realize that a good portion of these third party voters would have gone trump otherwise anyway. and stop blaming the vanishingly small contingent of people voting for the joke that is jill stein for an election in which only about half of people eligible to vote bother to do, and of those that do millions have their biggest voting issue as egg prices. there are so many more numerous issues than people who still fucking think jill stein is anything other than a grifter, and you need to focus on the actual problems. Stop yelling at shadows on the wall and start yelling at your coworkers and friends and family who voted based on gas prices or didnt even bother to vote because "oh i dont really pay attention to politics"
and you know that theyre gonna blame leftists for the election once a fucking gain
not all the people who "dont reallt care about politics", didnt vote, that are gonna wake up tomorrow and just get confused, "huh, trump won? weird. thought people hated him" and move on their day
not the idiots who heard trump talking about lowering groceries and gas prices and genuinely thought "well, I want lower gas prices and groceries" and voted for it
not the dems for STILL running the fucking "playing all the sides" campaign, not the dems for taking so long to realize how unpopular biden is even among those who dont pay attention to jack shit ("hes old... grocery prices...gas prices..."), not the dems for continuing the condescending bullshit, not the dems for still refusing to give jack shit to the muslim americans who felt fucking betrayed and feel like its "damned if we do, damned if we dont"
not the longstanding american tradition of massive voter disenfranchisement that makes voting impossible for some, and juuusssttt inconvenient enough for others that they end up not voting (like my coworkers who didnt even REALIZE they needed to register to vote and it was too late)
no, none of those things, its the tiny ass contingent of leftists who were still deciding to not vote at all post biden dropout, and we're gonna spend the next 4 years hearing about it just like everyone blamed bernie bros for 2016 (despite literally more people flipping from bernie to hillary than flipped from hillary to obama in 2012)
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if i just told you i love you would this world change
#witch hat tag#orufrey#these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!!#i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was#some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that#like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god#aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it#ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!#I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE!#tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood.#Why do you keep pulling away from me?#It is because i love you that i do this#the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings#“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want#to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“#oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you#maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me#i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life#until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to#NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!!#........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*
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ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page
#delete later#deleting soon bc eyes on me#for those of you who kept asking about Something last year LOLLL#sorry this is too entry level vent comic ykwim i jst needed to get it out#im over it in the sense that like ok yeah whatever#but not in the sense that i came out worse than before. i was already Small. ive been further Smallened#i was a rebound and lied to and discarded...which thank god i was Set Free but wow!#all my personal fears reinforced. it is embarrassing for me to want and need...i get it neow. i was a stepping stone i am an npc#idk that i could do it again! im not sure its worth trying i am too much of a...project.#as i was told from day 1 but still ran directly into it#and i was too much of a coward to leave myself. if it happened again i wouldnt be able to leave then either.#im happy that i dont think it could get much worse than all that for my first experience but it was also exhausting#and weirdly at the same time i dont think i cld ever expect better#its almost been a year since its been Done and the words and treatment linger <3#this is also why i had to enlist talon as imaginary bf number 2 LOL need extra reinforcement and love#cringe as fuck but it rly will never be as good as whats in my brain...i know that neow. i will spare everyone the trouble#and remove myself from the dating pool (<- implying he was ever even in it)#i dont even hold any ill will toward em bc they were right...its just hurts ykwim
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I designed it myself so there's not really a full pattern written down, but I can give you the references that I texted myself to work from when I originally designed it. unfortunately I have a habit of changing my pattern as I go so I'm not totally sure this matches what I ended up with, but if you want it, the notes and screenshots I have are below the cut.
gauge: I used a super chunky yarn and probably 8ish sized needles (us sizing) —I know they were too small for the yarn which was on purpose because I wanted it to be a bit stiff and hold some shape.
sizing: i'm tiny and have disproportionately long arms so you're likely to need to change the stitch counts and potentially the sleeve-to-body length for yourself.
pattern measurements: I think every little box in the images below is 4x4 stitches, every red-bordered box is 12x12, and the heavy black vertical borders break the whole thing into thirds.
stitches: the whole thing is just stockinette stitch except for the ribbed collar, cuffs, and hem, and the button plackets. the button plackets are basically a fake ribbing--knit two rows, purl two rows, etc. I did the buttonholes by just casting off and casting back on, idk if that's the right way or whatever but it worked.
colorwork: mostly intarsia but I won't lie I just kind of do whatever seems easy in the moment so it's kind of a hodgepodge on the inside.
caveat: i do think I did something different at the top than the increases in the images suggest, but I don't remember what.
bottom hem/casting on: the front and back dont include the bottom ribbed hem. I honestly dont remember the proportion of ribbing i cast on compared to the width of the main panel or where I wrote it down, if I did.
caveat: i added the collar afterward (just picked up stitches and then knit it directly on) and I added the grey shoulder patches later, too, when I didn't like the original fit of the sleeves. again, I just picked up stitches as I went and knit the patches directly into the shoulders. (it was a pain. if I did it again, I'd knit them separately and sew them in.)
back panel:
front (both sides):
this is both front panels in one image. the black/charcoal in the middle is the placket for buttons. I decided where to put buttonholes in it based on the buttons I happened to have on hand, so those aren't indicated.
sleeves:
sleeve increases: as you can see I initially forgot to add increases for the shape of the sleeves to be dramatic so I scribbled them in afterward. on the right sleeve you can see where I made a note to myself to start with a cuff and then increase. not sure if this is what I did, but here's the text I sent myself for that:
cast on 20
increase by one every 3 (26 stitches total)
4 rows of 26 stitches
add 1 on every right side row until 36 stitches
finally able to wear the colour-block cardigan woohooooo this took a full 2 weeks to dry when I blocked it and it weighed a million pounds wet but it's sooo cozy
#I hesitate to tag this as a knitting pattern bc it's more like a vague suggestion that you have to still invent most of a pattern from#but uhhhhh#knitting pattern#I guess#maybe at some point I'll write it down properly
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guess whos not going in at all this week, actually
#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN#she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today#(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed#bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with#she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC#basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets#one is called NAVIGATING DOC#im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings#NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM#and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT#but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK#WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER#she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete#mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING#but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert#abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS#idk man#i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor#it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro#yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site#n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it#so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by#but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM#bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification#if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now#instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON#ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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there needs to be,,,,,a typewriter, but not a hassle to acquire & fix and use and maintain. modern typewriter. simple maybe digital typewriter that doesn't have internet access or other features it's just for typing words and that's it. big storage. maybe it's an e-ink screen so it doesn't hurt ur eyes. maybe it doesnt cost 700 dollars. this is my dream i am gazing dreamily into the night sky dreaming abt it. modern typewriter
#yes i know you can use a notebook im doing that right now <3#yes i know laptops exist im typing this on one <3 this is not what im talking abt#if i am on my laptop i am 1) experiencing screen brightness woes and 2) on tumblr eventually i cannot not be there#i dont want a minimalist writing app i dont want an app that yells at me if i open youtube i want a Tiny Machine#that i can type on and it shows the words and then i can send the word to. like. scrivener or whatever later. print them. something#maybe i can have research open on my laptop and then type on the tiny machine. and it doesnt cost 700 dollars. and i type on it#sigh. chin hands. the future is a disappointment#finchtalks#yes ive been looking into e-ink tablets with bluetooth keyboard possibilities for 5 hours what of it#I NEED THE WORLDS SMALLEST MOST AFFORDABLE FEATURE-FREE E-INK LATPTOP#FOR NOT 700 DOLLARS#AND IT JUST ISNT OUT THERE I DONT THINK </3
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> be a robin buckley fan
> be lesbian
> project on robin
> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic
> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve
#saw one in which steve was like ''no robin you don't understand! i have never been loved! i don't know how that feels like!''#i have several grips about that interpretation#going from the fact that's not true (dustin is clearly a big steve fan + robin herself cares about him deeply)#to the fact he probably wouldn't be introspective enough to voice his emotions this concisely not to mention he'd probably wouldn't take#a moment to realize he's never felt loved if that were the case. i mean. he could think that. when he's like 35 and more in touch with his#inner world. 19yo steve can't even get the hint that hitting on a girl who's already clearly taken (nancy) is wrong so like i don't expect#him to be that smart#but i can live with people having takes i don't agree with. my opinion doesn't have to be everyone else's opinion if you see steve that way#it fine#what bothered me was the fact he was saying this to a lesbian living in the 80s lmao#who tells him that 1) her whole life has been an error 2) she doesn't think he'd want to be close to her if he truly knew her and 3)#3) is paralyzed by fear of social suicide if she dares believe for even a second that the girl she likes may like her too#like i dont need people to do deep dives into robin lore and quote from memory lines from Surviving Hawkins abt robin feeling like she's#rotten inside. not supposed to have friends. feeling like something is wrong with her and that pushes people away etc etc#the fact that she's a lesbian should tell you enough abt who has the biggest chances of being loved 😭#also bothered me that it showed up when looking up posts abt internalized homophobia because?? where's the internalized homophobia therw#unless it's gay steve feeling bad abt it in an AU (as if canon robin didn't go through it)#like look im not bothered to find steve-centric content in the robin tag cos people are gonna tag her in posts mentioning her.#she's his friend.#but there are barely any posts at all about robin's internalized homophobia. like i saw 2 or 3. compared to all the steve or steddie ones#where's the love for my babygirl 😭😭#anti steddie#not really but y'know i don't wanna bother anyone#edit: the bit about there being like 3 posts on robin w internalized homophobia isn't exactly true. there are a few. but they still feel#drowned in st3ddie posts#like something isn't right here
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I think I accidentally made Wriothesley AuDHD. fuck
#ingital#did you know there's a bit in ingital i cut out where he tells Neuvillette they have to go get their kids tested. it's cut out of the carol#and vautrin scene. because I wanted to recontextualise carole's canon story as like about her social ostracisation because she's#a weird little girl with a very strong sense of justice (autistic like her dad lol). and I wanted it to just be a family moment where#wriothesley just very casually suggests getting their kids tested to see if they need additional support. and its just because i wanted it#to be seen as a very normal. even slightly positive moment (carole you're just like your papa!). because . you dont often see an autism#diagnosis as a Normal thing. much less a silly fun thing. and Ingital is silly fun the fic#the thing is. I specifically sat down and told myself. I'm gonna write a neurotypical man because not every single guy in my fic has to be#neurodivergent. when I write wriothesley it's usually more about trauma cptsd and high functioning depression anyway.#but I am autistic. even my trauma/depression/mentally ill experience is viewed through autistic lens. which is why im like#I should learn how to write a neurotypical man right. this is so dire. because what if i CANT. GOD#severe trauma does things to your neurotype anyway so he's Not Neurotypical but GODDDDDDDDDDD I made the fucking. disorganised#basement dwelling tech nerd gag in the latest chapter. and I FORGOT THAT THAT'S TIPPING INTO AUDHD TROPES/STEREOTYPES.#I know this had potential to go into audhd territory from Day 1 when I decided he fucking dwells on stack exchange#but i told myself. well. just because he's a nerd and highly intelligent doesn't mean he's audhd. right. because if he still#has relatively normal sensory experiences (outside of ptsd/other mental illness symptoms) and is still within normal range of organisation#then he's not audhd. because the difference between audhd disorganisation/dysregulation and similar symptoms in depression/other illnesses#IS THAT HE'S STILL GONNA BE DISORGANISED WHEN HE'S NOT DEPRESSED!!!!!!! And he's not depressed in his little basement enclosure.#that . level of happy chaos. is exactly how he naturally operates when he's allowed to do what he wants. I fucking made him audhd AGAIN#and he even has his own extremely strange way of naming files.
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Suffering more than Jesus atm (being a fan of 80s/90s Suicide squad in 2024)
#god amanda waller what did they do to you....#i KNOW i never shut up about this but GUYS ITS SO BAD#fucking WHY would you take the interesting antihero protagonist and then strip her of any redeeming quality and use her as this horrific#unforgivable villain who is treated as a hated antagonist in her own comics#WHERE SHE ISNT EVEN THE MAIN CHARACTER MOST OF THE TIME#like why are you trying to make me sympathize with fucking harley quinn or smth when the actual main character is right there. why are we#turning her into this horrific villain w a million master plans making deals with the devil and shit.#we are supposed to like her. like maybe not all dc fans do because shes almost always an antagonist in other books but in her own shes the#main character!!! there should be some aspect of interest or sympathy for her. as opposed to just making her like badass or whatever#so sick of this#and its in freaking EVERYTHING right now on god i cant read other comics that are otherwise good (like ga) and enjoy them without the#obligatory intense demonification of one of my fave characters#like shes my no 6 in locg for a reason i genuinely love waller like yeah she sucks sometimes but shes INTERESTING.#this is not interesting or creative in any way what theyre doing with her#this genuinely could have been any government baddie like honestly#dont flatten 3 dimensional characters into 1 dimension (or at best like 1.5) to tell a story you tell the story around the 3d characters.#why do i need to say this. basic competent storytime#blah#amanda waller#istg i throw out another waller rant every freaking tuesday on here#suicide squad#you know what. at least we had the movie#you heard me. higher hopes for the new gunn dceu series than actual comics for the forseeable future#viola davis save me...#need to do a bit of 00s reading still to verify but on god watch this all come down to a fucking new 52 thing. like not to say that i think#thats where it all went wrong bc i need to read more to verify but i have an idea of what rlly did it and i think it was a nu52 decision#but then again maybe im stupid
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so things are not going well with my new elderly socdem friend unfortunately.
#she said this RIGHT after talking about how bad yt misinfo is... which she followed up w SO I WAS WATCHING A YT DOC ABOUT WW2 & LEARNED THIS#youtube 'historians' are literally the most fascist breed of youtuber. avoid the vast majority like the plague lmao#i asked if the video was sourcing the hollow dahmer & the black book of communism & she didnt seem to know what those are lol#to her credit i told her straight up that she was incorrect & she at least faked being curious about doing more research but i am doubting#she also 'learned' that lenin killed trotsky lol get your propaganda right lenin was dead by then STALIN icepicked him <3#anyway im making jokes bc the worst part was a different conversation where she spoke positively of israel#THAT'S gonna be the one to ruin our friendship. fuck you & your war tourist friend who fought in the 1960s landgrabs that youre now#telling me as if this is a cute story. nahhhh lmao i looked her straight in the eye & said i will NOT debate this#so she dropped it like the true enlightened centrist most socdem cowards are and i kept cleaning her house quietly#turns out You & Me We're the Only Ones Around Here Who Aren't Complete Fools was premature *kicks the poorly rendered gravel sadly*#shes otherwise a nice lady & i know i need to be more flexible in order to hopefully change ppls minds...#but also when people say awful & untrue things it makes me not want to talk to you 🤷♂️ srry 2 b a freak like that#also i know shes not transphobic but i havent sniffed her out well enough to know if shes safe to come out to#so its hours of misgendering (which isnt her fault she doesnt know) bc shes obsessed with neoliberal feminism and inappropriately brings#gender into conversations that it does not belong in#'did you know all the countries that handled covid best were ran by women?' 1) untrue 2) dont care finland still sucks#she also tried to tell me that european rich people learned to be nicer after the french rev & thats why europe is better than america...#girl shut up we learned how to be so good at racism and capitalism BECAUSE of europe. there is no such thing as a good rich person!!!#i pick my battles (genocide & anticommunist genocide revisionism) so i let her cook w that one & was not left convinced as you can imagine#ANYWAY rant about today's weird day done. gonna smoke weed & rim some skies 🥵 while listening to the Khrushchev Lied audiobook i found 😘
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every time i hear anything art-related on tiktok, i immediately get really like... upset? annoyed? idk. unpleasant feeling because it's literally always "we're making fun of this child/beginner for their anatomy or how they color" or whatever else or pretending that an artists deserve to be treated like a piece of corporate media.
i know tiktok is literally the devil and hell incarnate, but i don't think any artist deserves to be targets of mass harassment especially not people who are just starting out (and even more especially not children).
if tiktok was a thing when i was younger and i was posting my art on there, i would never fucking draw ever again. my art career would've ended after a few months of drawing "seriously," and i really do mean it lol. call me sensitive or whatever, but a 13-15 year old does not need to hear whatever criticism you think they need to hear i promise.
#dook dook#the only thing people should be doing is offering actual helpful advice and constructive criticism is only welcome when asked for#but these people never ask for it...#im talking about the 'art lore' stuff or whatever (idk if its called that)#i never kept up with it because 1 i am not on tiktok 2 i am a full grown adult who doesnt care and 3 it just makes me feel fucking awful?#but seriously#beginning artists will not be on the same level as someone whos been drawing for 10+ years#beginning artists will not have 'good' anatomy or know how to color or shade 'properly'#it really pisses me offfff...#if youre a beginning artist the only things you really need to know are: drawing more than 1 body type (please draw fat people. please.)#do not fall for 'dos and donts' types of tutorials#ESPECIALLY ones that are about men vs. women anatomically#take care of your wrists and hands and arms#AND FINALLY: DONT WORRY ABOUT ANY 'RULES' DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT TO YOU#ART CAN LOOK LIKE ANYTHING AND CAN BE MADE USING ANY TECHNIQUE BRUSH APPLICATION WHATEVER!!!#DO NOT FUCKING WORRY ABOUT IT PLEASE
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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
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