#you dont even wanna know how long it took me just find the house pic and the hand on the steering wheel

[if-mirrormine]

been seeing a lot of netflix edits going around ive literally seen three and you know me and my fomo had to participate 😌

i tried using this template but i still cannot for life of me figure out how to use it, so i just redid it myself in canva lol.

[mythiccheroacademia]

Hey!! Could we please get more sugar daddy fics with a black reader ofc 😋 idk if you've done shoto already but that'd be nice or hawks and deku💕

A/N: “wrist on glitter, waist on thinner, imma show you how to bag a eight-figure nigga” 👅💋 I enjoyed this way too much

All characters are 18+

Warnings: it got a lil spicy so imma put the line 

Todoroki Shouto:

this mf has money to burn 

we all know todoroki came out the womb w cash from his hair to his ass 

he’s on some “yes, jeff bezos knows me” type shit so if you’re tryna end up with someone that’s gonna possibly buy you a house, he’s your guy 

he slid into your dms after you posted a pic with your skin moisturized and glistening under golden hour and your body had him wanting to run laps 

he had been plottin on you for a min but never got the motivation to do something about it until then

he’s a no strings attached type of sugar daddy

todoroki is a big name even outside of hero work and he’s well aware of all the people that have tried to use him. so instead of letting that happen, he’s decided to do things on his own terms 

when yall first started talking, he questioned you like this was managerial position at apple 💀 

best believe he ran an in-depth background check and made you sign an NDA 💀💀💀

he was a tough one

but you passed w flying colors and y’all settled on an arrangement

you have a weekly allowance that hits your bank account every saturday with some bonuses that he’ll give you depending on how the week goes

todoroki isnt needy nor is he one to be all up in your business 

it’s actually weird in an endearing kind of way? 

he only wants to have conversations with you 

i mean, dont get me wrong, he’s up for anything you are

todoroki would be a liar if he said he never ended some nights with a picture of you and a hand down his pants 

but that’s not what he’s mainly looking for 

you figure out very quickly that shouto just wants someone to talk to 

he’ll randomly hit up your phone and have a 30 min convo about something like the weather or hero politics, and then he’ll dip

next thing you know, you got $1000 in your cashapp

you kind of panicked bc like...wtf? 

your dumb ass messaged him: “did you mean to send $1000?”

sis, dont put a question mark where God put a period

him: “Yes.”

and that was the end of that

you dont question anymore

he’s not doting in any kind of way, and sometimes you lowkey think he forgets about you, but you still get your allowance 

doesn’t send a lot of gifts unless you explicitly state you want something

he doesnt text back a lot, but he tried to respond when he can

but i do see him liking it when you send him mundane things you do throughout your day, like pics of cookies you baked, or a cool plant you saw at home depot

and he enjoys the times you and him end up just trashing his father for nearly an hour. expect to find flowers, with some expensive ass coats or something at your door the next morning 

he really fucks w your laid back vibe 

sometimes he forgets you guys arent really supposed to be friends 

Takami Kiego (Hawks):

this is not hawks’ first time being a sugar daddy

he’s hot, rich, and one of the most eligible bachelor’s in japan with a life that prevents him from having anything too serious

so, long story short, he’s a veteran at this 

he used to be the type to reach out to instagram baddies but he had a couple bad run-ins and decided to stick with the official sites because it was a lot more secure on both ends 

the funny thing was, you set up your account a long time ago as a joke. though at one point, you did take it seriously, but you came in contact with a lot of super creepy men that sexualized you for your skin and ethnicity. 

you were tired of the “chocolate king/queen” and “amazonian god/dess” comments,so you took a break. you didnt have much activity since

so imagine youre surprise when the #2 hero hit your line talking about some 

“Hey~ I’ll get straight to the point. I think you’re beautiful and I’d like to talk with you about an arrangement” 

you thought this was a fake account, but after he chatting for a little and sending some pictures, you knew he was the real deal 

hawks is your standard tit-for-tat transaction sugar daddy

he’s the type to hit you up at night with a “how ya doing, dove? got any pics for me?”

he’s good about his respect ad won’t do anything out of line

it’s the bare minimum, be he doesnt fetishize you so that’s always nice 

however, he does make you call him daddy, sir, etc. whether it’s through text, call, or when y’all get together for...reasons

ngl his dicc game is fire

he might ghost you for a week or so but he’ll always come back with a nice check to make up for it 

just be careful about catching feelings bc he’s so fucking smooth. he makes you feel like you’ve got his heart, but dont fall for that shit

if you think you can “change him” or fuflfil whatever wattpad romance fantasy lives in your head, he is not your guy. you better get on w your life before you get your heart broken

he’s here to suck, fuck, send pics, do a little phone call here n there, send some money, and go 

if you’re not with all that, you might as well dip 

but if you’re cool with that, rest assured, you’re gonna be living your best mf life with this man in your wallet 

and good news, you might not be his only, but you are his favorite

there’s just something about you that’s got him giving you a few extra thousand than he normally does 

he doesnt take his sugar babies on proper dates bc he’s gotta stay away from media outlets, but he will invite you to his office for a “lunch break”

if you ever surprise him with a cute but sexy hawks cosplay, you won’t have to work for two whole weeks bc you cant walk  

overall, he’s a good sugar daddy. defintely good for your pockets and any other non-romantic desires you want fulfilled

Mirodirya Izuku:  

the way you two met and came to this arrangement was more or less an accident

the life of the number one pro-hero was lonely and stressful 

he’s tried to dip his toes in the water here and there, but it never worked out because not many people could deal with the fact that he’d always put hero work first

he was teetering on the edge of signing up for one of those sugar daddy/baby websites until he met you at some cafe he passed by 

it’s cliche really. you were his server and, honestly? he was hooked on day one 

he watched you intently as you pranced around in your cute uniform. he couldnt stop admiring your brown skin and eyes and how cute your hair was. you spoke with such enthusiasm and cheerfulness that he couldnt help but swoon. and it didn’t hurt that you were very easy on the eyes

he listened to you as you went on a spiel about how college was a fortune and how you stayed up last night for a project bc you had to pick up extra shifts

that’s when he made his decision

by the time the hero is out of the door, you collected the reciept and almost fainted when you realized he left you a $500 tip and his personal number 

“i enjoyed talking to you today and i hope we can continue that...here’s something small to help with your bills. and i hope this isnt too forward but you’re very beautiful. stay safe. deku.”

and what did you do that night?

you called his ass right back

you were nervous as hell bc you still couldnt believe this was real, but after talking on the phone with him for two hours, an arrangement was set

midoriya is the most gentlemen like sugar daddy out there 

you wake up to good morning texts and a few hundred in your bank account almost every two days 

he goes crazy over your insta posts. and if you wear something green? expect a bonus

takes you out shopping unprovoked 

izuku: “are you busy? i saw you were having a rough week and was wondering if you wanted to go to that new outlet mall downtown”

you: 🏃🏾‍♀️💨  

you most certainly had homework due that night but what tf you look like missing out on that offer? 

it’s after so many “dates” that deku realizes that he prefers hanging around you more than he should but he doesnt wanna ruin anything so he keeps that underwraps 

he’s the idiot that goes into this thinking he won’t fall in love

deku defintely has some dirty thoughts about you but he doesnt try to bring it up unless you do first

if you’re comfortable with anything nsfw, you gone see a whole different side to izuku

he’s a giver, giver, giver, but when he recieves, he just about loses it

send him “innocent” pics of yourself matched with a string of filthy texts and he’ll combust 

when you send him pics of yourself in deku-themed lingre, he deadass sends you a whole black card with your name on it as a thank you

you guys get very comfortable with each other very quickly

soon enough, DA’s start turning into y/n stayng over for a week 

you both realize this relatiosnhip runs a lot deeper than an arrangement when he accidentally let it slip that he told his mom about you 

he’s profusely apologizing but you shut him up with a kiss and tell him that you’ve kinda caught feelings yourself 

your next conversation works out well for the both of you 

[nahoyaglock]

↬ KARASUNO AS COUPLE PICS! + headcanons

karasuno x gn!reader, headcanons, fluff

A/N! im so sorry that this is so long hhh + reblogs are appreciated and feedback is too :D i also did not read this over so im sorry if it sucks and theres errors

Daichi

Daichi would walk home with you since you lived nearby him

and since it was the weekend he thought he would hang out with you at your place

you two would stop at a nearby convince store, spliting up and searching the aisles for some ramen and chips

you ran over to the chips aisle after grabbing the ramen and saw daichi grabbing multiple bags

he shot you a big smile and you just scoffed and playfully kicked his shin

"we dont need that many bags daichi!"

"of course we do babe"

you left with 4 bowls of instant ramen and 7 different bags of chips

Sugawara

sugawara had planned this for a whole week

his sweet s/o had a hard week? prepare for some clingy bf sugawara and to be spoiled

he picked you up at 4pm to let you sleep in from staying up studying all night friday

once you arrived at the lake nearby his place, you saw the little picnic blanket

he had brought out a little speaker, playing some soft, relaxing tunes

you guys ate and talked, and even just watched the trees blow in the wind

you would hear a song you like, and you would pull sugawara to his feet to dance to the song

he would twirl you and at the end of the song he would dip you, kissing you softly

"thank you so much suga"

"anything for my sugar~"

Asahi

you were a very reckless person, and asahi loved that about you

he would always be by your side for all your adventures, but one day you decided to settle down

you invited asahi over to your small home, your parents out for the day

your small radio played some old tunes as asahi laid on your bed watching you tend to your plants or ramble on as you always did

you cuddled with him a for a few hours until you saw the orange rays come in through your window

"asahi! asahi watch the sunset with me!"

you shot out of bed and pulled your large boyfriend after you

you opened your window and sat on the window sill, swinging your legs around to the other side

being on a second floor, you started asahi

"Hey, be careful"

"get your big ass over here!"

he followed after you, sitting next to you and wrapped an arm around you as the two of you watched the sun set

Tanaka

fools. you are a pair of reckless fools

tanaka had proposed the idea of a late night hang out

you being just as wild you agreed, and thats how you found yourself with tanaka running around at night, nearly 1am

on your adventure, you found a shopping cart knocked onto its side, you and tanakas eyes meeting with a devious smirk

next thing you knew, tanaka had turned on his speaker and shuffled his spotify playlist as you climbed into the cart

"awe, i wanted you to push me!"

"slow poke! now push!"

he pushed you, running while you two shouted and laughed into the night, doja cat and NIKI playing on his speaker

i just know this mans is a doja cat fan

Nishinoya

nishinoya was a very energetic and fun person, and you were as well, but you just weren't as reckless

as you two walked down the road to your house, nishinoya rambled on and on about practice and his day

you didnt mind, being way less talkative than him, you liked to listen to him

he suddenly jumped into the air, a big happy and excited smile on his face as you could practically see a light buld above his head

"can we take a picture?"

"whats the catch?"

"okay okay, what if we do a handstand!"

you giggled at his request and he looked at you with hopeful eyes

"yes, but if i get hurt your gonna give me a piggy back!"

he sets up his camera against his school bag and sets the timer, running back to where you were

"okay okay, GO!"

you both did a handstand and held it until the timer went off and his phone clicked

Hinata

hinata loved going anywhere with you, as long as you were by his side he was already having so much fun

one day you asked him if he wanted to go to the beach, and he practically shouted in excitement

the next day, saturday, you two left in the morning to take a bus to the nearest beach, and hinata brought his bike

when you guys arrived he walked around with his bike as you ran around slightly ahead oh him in the sad

hinata had to watch over his bike so we couldn't run around with you, but then he got an idea

"hey, do you wanna go on a ride along the shore?"

"OH. MY. GOD. YES!!"

he hopped into his bike and you climbed onto the back, and you two ride along the shore at a decently quick pace

the air in your face made you feel free and you lifted your arms up, closing your eyes as you let the air hit you

hinata would take a quick glance back, but it was just long enough to see the beautiful look on your face that made him smile

-

Tsukishima

even though tsukishima was cold to everyone else, he was slightly less cold towards you, and hed never admit it but you made him soft

i hc tsukishima secretly being a soft boy who enjoys relaxing and reading in his alone time, sometimes even with you

one day you come over to surprise your boyfriend, his brother opening the door for you as you greeted him and his mother.

you made your way to his room and turned the door nob

"oh tsukki!"

you opened the door and saw your boyfriend laying in a pair of yellow and black plaid pajama pants and a navy green sweater, reading as some music played on his speaker

he groaned and closed his book as you walked over to his bed and jumped into his arm

"you had to come over today? you didnt even tell me."

"i like seeing tsukishima kei in his natural habitat"

you pulled a book out of your bag, one that you and tsukishima read together often and he pulled you into his lap and opened to where you had last read

the orange rays of the sun filled his room as you two read the book, soon falling asleep in each others presence

Kageyama

constantly everyday, this boy was trying to find a way to let you into his life or show his appreciation with more than just holding your hand

one day you guys were chilling on the grass infront of his home, his mothers music playing through the living room window, loud enough for you to hear

the sun was starting to set and a slightly blue hue painted the surroundings

"hey, do you dance?"

you were a bit shocked by that question since you were usually the one to ask random questions like that

"im not that good at it but sure, why?"

kageyama stood up and held out his hand

"may i have this dance?"

you laughed at his question and took his hand, pulling yourself up

"yes you may~"

kageyamas hand rested on your hip, your hand on his shoulder and your other hands were connected at your sides

you guys slow danced, mimicking a waltz, stepping on each others shoes occasionally

kageyamas cheeks were red the whole time as he twirled you and connected his hands with both of yours

he pressed a quick kiss to your cheek and you stared up in awe as your boyfriend shot a wide smile at you, one that you havent seen before

"y-your smiling!"

"w-what?"

"what did you do to kageyama!"

"i am kageyama!"

Yamaguchi

you and yamaguchi loved to be together, bestfriends and lovers, tsukishima falling victim to third wheeling, not as if he cared much tho

yamaguchi loves flowers almost as much as you do, so when he found this small flower field a few miles past his house he knew he had to take you there

you and yamaguchi walked hand snd hand to this "surprise" place he wanted you to see

when you were close, he covered your eyes and led you past the trees and rocks, placing you in the middle of the large flower field

"ready annnnndd.. open!"

you opened your eyes and froze in awe at the colorful flowers that dotted the field

you turned to your boyfriend and wrapped your arms around his neck, tackling him to the floor

"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TADASHI!"

he winced softly as you whispered apologized and peppered his cheek in kisses and he just laughed

"I love you too y/n"

he turned to his side and plucked a daisy, smiling softly as he turned back to face you

he pushed some hair back behind your ear and placed the flower behind your ear, smiling widely as his cheeks turned a slight shade of pink

"i think you're the prettiest flower in the WHOOOOLE world!"

he placed soft kisses to your lips as you laid in the middle of the flower field

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

no

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Can u do a Tom Holland x black actress reader( plays black cat ) has to dye hair silver they are costars in ffh now they are in Spider-Man 3 and they were fwb and now there filming Spider-Man 3 ( they all live in the same house ) and she gets pregnant but ends up having a miscarriage 🥺 and she only tells one person ( zendaya ) and z accidentally tells Tom and he goes crazy on set and security has to get him and he starts yelling at you he gets heated maybe ending in fluff.

THIS IS NOT MY BEST WORK BUT I DID TRY! THANK YOU FOR THE ASK- REQUESTS ARE CLOSED BECAUSE I ONLY HAVE ONE MORE-

Summary: oof

Warnings: fighting, 🔴TW MISCARRIAGE🔴 (bleeding, stomach pains) flushing toilets, people who thought wrong, crying, snapping, fluff, NOT PROOF READ- SORRY I DONT HAVE ANY OTHER PICS THIS IS SOOO LONG- FOR WHY?

You smiled as you looked at the test, thinking about having a child, until you thought about how Tom would feel. You bit your lip as you wrapped the test in toliet paper and threw it in the trash, you stood up and lifted your underwear and pants, very much excited and you washed your hands smiling to yourself in the mirror, you exited the bathroom and laid down with Tom again, he wrapped his arms around your waist “morning” he whispered, kissing your nose. “Morning” you smile, kissing his lips as he was to lazy to kiss back.

“I’m kinda hungry, I’m gonna go in the kitchen” “alright” he he let you go and you went to the kitchen, finding zendaya with the milk in her hand. “Hey” she smiled. “Hi” you shyly said. “What’s going on?” She asked, confused at your words, you quickly sat down next to her. “Well I know you don’t know this so don’t say anything, but I’m pregnant-“ “and who’s the dad?” You sighed before anwsering “Tom”. Her mouth fell agape as she overfilled the bowl and started flowing out. “I- what?” She whispered. “Toms the father” you whispered.

“Do you think he’d be happy?” She says, putting the milk down. “I don’t know” you shrugged. “I’m hoping that he will be-“ “good morning!” Haz says walking in looking at you both as you waved. “Welp we have work soon, we need to dye your hair” “then let’s do it at home!” You smiled, zendaya and haz looking at you as if your crazy. “Do you wanna be bald?” Harrison asked. “Shut up I trust you guys” “but we don’t trust ourselves”

You and Tom had a bond that nobody had, it’s nice honestly, you both started to be fwb whenever, I forgot so I can’t tell you. You killed the audition, had the perfect body, you were just perfect, you and zendaya became instant best friends, Jacob embarrassed himself infront of you which made you bond and haz and you got an emotional connection pretty fast.

“ITS BURNING!” you yelled, turning on the cold water and putting your head under it. “God dammit y/n I told you we shouldn’t have done this” Harrison rolls his eyes. Tom helps you rinse it out, massaging your scalp as he silently laughed at you “if you end up bald we still love you” he commented. “Don’t even Tom” you rolled your eyes, butterflies in your stomach.

It went magnificent! You flat ironed your hair as everyone high fives at their work dancing around you as you moved your waist. You and the rest of the crew went to your dressing rooms, Tom came to yours to get dressed with you. “You look amazing” he complamented, you look at yourself in the mirror, smiling to yourself as you told him thank you, he came behind you and gave a squeeze to your boobs as you let out a shriek. “Ow!” You say grabbing them. “Did I squeeze to hard? What- I squeeze you the same all the time!” He panicked, wondering why your boobs were so tender. “It’s fine they just hurt” you waved it off. “Why?” He asked, “I’m gonna start my period soon” you lied, he nodded at you and ask you to zip him up which you did.

“Alright!” The set manager says, you got ready, on a fake roof about to flip down. “And-“ the person snapped the take part and it was your time to shine.

Black cat flipped down meeting. “Peter Parker is it?” She asked hands behind her back as she walked around Spider-Man. “No- I’m Spider-Man” “stop lying, your boring me already” she said, rolling her eyes. “You sound like someone familiar- Felicia?” He asked, looking at her. “Peter?” She laughed.

“This doesn’t make any sense, your nice!” “And this isn’t nice? Sometimes being nice doesn’t get you anywhere” “look at where it got me!” He yelled raising his arms up like he’s a big shot. “You suck man” she only said. He webbed her hand a punched her in the stomach, making her groan and swipe his feet, climbing ontop of him and starting to claw his face,

“And scene!” You rolled off of him and next to him “nice job” you said. “Pound it” he whispered, raising his fist which you agreed, you gave him a fist bump.

As the week went by you got mood swings, you and Tom hasn’t had sex because you were to fragile, you were currently laying down with zendaya on your phone, silently chatting through text messages. You stomach started to cramp, slowly, as it turned into severe stomach pain, “fuck!” You shouted, holding your stomach. Zendaya placed her phone down as she looked at you “what’s wrong?” “Shit shit shit!” You screamed, clutching your stomach tightly, falling off the bed, holding onto the sheets with your free hand. “Y/n talk to me! What’s wrong?” Tears filled down your face “I-I don’t know- OW!” You sobbed as your stomach cramped more, looking down at your white leggings and seeing blood leaking out of it, zendaya quickly came out of bed and looked at your figure, taking your hand and pulling you to the bathroom, she helped you pull down your pants and your underwear, a bloody mess as you continued to cry, stomach to cramped to even sit down on the toliet.

“I can’t zendaya” you cried, “you have to sit down y/n, use the bathroom” you sat down on the toliet, pushing out something, it didn’t feel like you were pooping, it felt like something slipped out. You gasped as you tried making it leave out of you, squeezing zendayas hands for support as you cried more. “Zendaya?” You asked weakly. “Yes” she replied, worried about you. “Something doesn’t feel right” you looked in the toliet and so did zendaya, finding something in there, someone in there. You closed your legs and weeped, “my baby” you whispered, to desvesistated to talk out loud you didn’t let go of the word baby so quickly, zendaya fell down to her knees and hugged you, hearing your loud cries, sobs, just begging for air, for hope, like that wasn’t what just came out of you. “Zendaya-“ you sobbed “my- my baby” she only hugged you tighter. She started to cry with you, her face in your neck as you cried weakly, the blood in the toliet and the loss of your child. “I’m so sorry- I’m so sorry” she repeated, you held onto her, or at least trying to, your hands shaking as you sucked in your lip. She kissed your cheek on repeat, holding on to you so tight as you were shocked, everything went so fast, only a week past, you couldn’t even comprehend what just happened. It all went down to your stomach, your fear, your anxiety, it was all quaking.

You pushed zendaya away as you threw up in the shower right next to it, almost choking on it, you tried to breath and zendaya helped, “count-count y/n” she reminded you, she counted with you, slowly in and out as you calmed down. “Do you wanna flush?” She asked quietly. “Yeah” you sighed, you got up, pulling up your pants and looking at the small, very small body, you swallowed and zendaya took your hand, signaling you aren’t alone, your shaking hand heastantly flushed the toliet, she pulled you in for a tight hug. “Your gonna take a bath, I’m gonna clean you up and we won’t talk about it”she whispered. “I have to clean it up” “no I will, just go ahead on your room and I’ll set you up for a bath” she whispered. You let her go slowly and made quickly made way to your room, it was no one their but you and zendaya but that’s embarrassing.

You swallowed thickly as you waited for zendaya, mentally counting and zendaya came in, turning on your bath and running it to a tempeture, a nice one. “Hey can you clean yourself up before you get in the bath?” She asked and you nodded, taking care of yourself as zenday stood outside waiting for you. “I’m ready” you whispered, but loud enough for zendaya to hear, you went inside the bathtub, hugging your legs and resting your head on your knees. Zendaya grabbed a wash cloth, dipping it in the water and gently runner it over your back. “I know your not okay but if you need something I’m here, I’m right here” she reminded you, you only nodded as silent tears ran down your face. She continued to rinse you off, taking her time, she rinsed your hair, droplets falling down in the water. You both heard the alarm, someone coming in.

“Take your time, I’ll be right back” she dropped the towel in the water, gonna go see who it is. She left and you sat there, tears still strolling down your face “out of everyone it had to be me” you whispered, crossing your arms as you looked at the ceiling. Maybe this is what you get, maybe this is what you deserve, at least that’s what you thought. Everything happens for a reason? What reason? You quietly cried, covering your mouth to not make any noise. “Y/n?” Zendaya asked, coming in the bathroom. “Yeah?” You whispered. “He wants to see you, I didn’t tell him, he just wants to say hi, I tried to tell him that your doing something important but he says he’s gonna come up here himself soon” she whispered, sniffling. You nodded and she handed you your robe, getting up slowly and holding onto zendaya for support again, stepping out as she looked away, you put on the robe and zendaya said she’ll take care of it again, you put your hair in a bun.

You grabbed a towel to dry your legs and your arms, slowly making your way down you saw Tom, smiling at you and wrapping his arms around your shoulders. “Hiii” he said, rocking you side to side and laughing, but you couldn’t, you just held onto him tighter. “What’s wrong?” He asked, you only started to cry right infront of him, you couldn’t help it, he was clueless. “Nothing” you said. “Ohhh your on your period, I forgot about that, I’ll cuddle you if that’s what you want..” he smiled and you nodded, giving a weak smile. He set his stuff down and grabbed your hand to pull you to his room, you sat on the bed as he took off his shirt and pants, shoes and socks, and laid down with you, taking you into his arms silently, holding you tighter and kissing your forehead, comforting you.

Zendaya opened the door to say something to Tom, not knowing that you were their, from her point of view it looked as if you both were crying and holding onto each other, she closed the door and moved on with her day, she still wants to be there for you but you and Tom need your space.

“Has y/n changed to you?” Tom asked zendaya, both in their suits and outfit. “I mean yeah but we both know why, she’s going through a traumatic period” Tom was confused. “What why?” “What do you mean why... she had a miscarriage- the same day she started crying- I thought she told you-“ zendaya stopped middle sentence “fuck” she whispered. “What the fuck are you talking about zendaya?” He asked, harshly. “Nothing” zendaya remained silent. “So your telling me she had a fucking miscarriage and kept it a secret for two weeks?” Tom said, mostly to himself. “Don’t be hard on her, she’s in a depressing state Tom” zendaya sighed, looking down. “How am i- you know what” he turned around to you, across the room on your phone leaning against the wall, he walked up to you.

“Why the fuck would you tell me” he whispered. “What?” you asked, looking at him. “Why the fuck wouldn’t you tell me?” Tom repeated, getting impatient. “What are you talking about?” You asked, turning off your phone and looking up at him, in fear. “Fuck- look I’m trying to be quiet with you” he banged his fist on the wall next to your head, your eyes started to water. “What are you talking about Tom?” You ask again. “Stop playing dumb!” He said harshly, causing attention to both of you. You jumped “Tommy what are you talking about?” You try to calm him down by placing a hand on his cheek, but he slapped it away, pure hatred filled his eyes. “Don’t fucking Tommy me!” He yelled and you jumped again, the tears falling down your cheeks know, his lips in a tight line. “Why the fuck. Wouldnt you. Tell. Me” you only stayed silent, he banged the wall again screaming at you, ‘why wouldn’t you tell me’ ‘for two weeks? You sat here for two weeks!’’

You tried backing up but you were against the wall, the security grabbed one of his arms while another latched on his other one. He just kept screaming at you, looking in his eyes as tears started to fall down his cheeks, trying to lunge at you, get an answer out of you, you feel down the wall as Tom was backed out, know falling to his knees “y/n, why would you tell me?” He whispered desperate. “I’m so sorry” you said crying in your arms as Harrison came over to you, soon zendaya to. “What happened?” Haz asked, you only cried more, slightly choking on your spit. Just repeating ‘I’m so sorry’ as Tom still tried to reach out to you.

As time passed they got you out of there, and into the house, you sat there in your room, Harrison and zendaya talking outside, crying and crying, your eyes stung and your tears hot, lips dry, sniffling trying to not cry anymore but it was forcing itself out of you. Zendaya stepped in and Harrison followed, sitting next to you and a head on each of your shoulders, you chewed on your lip. “Tom didn’t know what he was thinking, you are okay I promise he won’t hurt you anytime”

Haz whispered to you, rubbing your back as you slowly calmed down. “Out of everyone it was me, I-I don’t know why, I deserve it don’t I? I shouldn’t have anything” “no don’t say that” zendaya shut you up. “Don’t talk down about yourself, it isn’t healthy” “well having a miscarriage isn’t either, but that still happened” “it’s common y/n, your gonna be okay, next time it’ll work” Harrison reassures, smiling up at you and you nodded. Your lip quivered, “what do I say? How do I make it up to him? I kept it for two weeks” you whispered. “Would he ever wanna see me again? We were never together in the first place” you sighed. “He’s gonna be so happy to see you” zendaya said, rubbing your back. “You don’t know th-that” “yes I do, isn’t that right Harrison?” “She always knows, she’s like the writer of our lives, we she made us, it’s true” Harrison laughed, making you silently chuckle. “Seeeee!” Zendaya smiled.

“She didn’t tell me though” Tom said, beer on the coffee table. “How was she supposed to idiot! Oh hi Tom by the way I had a miscarriage” he faked your voice. “Yes! Exactly like that” Tom rolled his eyes. “You have no right to tell someone what to do with their lives, that’s not okay” Harry snapped. “Two weeks? Two fucking weeks! Try that! I could’ve been with her! We could’ve tried again, I was gonna be a father” he sadly sighed. “We could’ve went through it together-“ “your being selfish” “how?” “Who’s the one who carries the baby?” Harry asked, Tom hesitantly said “her” “who’s the one who can actually go through depression?” “Her” he whispered. “Exactly, so stop acting like your the victim when really she is” Tom only swallowed and took the beer for a sip. “Don’t talk to her, give her her time but don’t ignore her either” Harry gave the solution and Tom nodded, dreaming about it for a minute. “Buy her something, like a basket of something” he shrugged.

“I was gonna be a dad Harry” he whispered, biting his lip. “I know that, but somethings aren’t just meant to be” Tom looked at Harry and eyed him from his seat. “How are you gonna tell me it’s not fuckin meant to be? You don’t know shit, I’ll have a child with her one day, no matter how many times I have to fuck her, bust in her, I don’t care, fuck off” he scolded, picking up the beer and walking into the kitchen “thanks for the advice, I’ll put it into some good use” he mumbled, throwing the bottle away as Harry just shrugged as he watched Tom grab his keys and his coat, leaving out the door.

He was gonna give you your space while he bought a few things for you, including essentil oils, daisies, and a type writer with a huge pack of paper for it. He told the people he wasn’t really feeling the best and he had something to really take care of, which they really respected. He took his time driving home, not knowing what to say, he just won’t say anything he guessed.

You were slowly eating your food, haz made you a fruit bowl with some chocolate on the side, nothing to big but a little to make you feel better, you zoned out and z looked out you. “You think she’s ever gonna get past this?” She asked, haz shrugged “I mean she needs support” “it’s my fault though” she looked at haz. He raised his eyebrows at her. “I- I accidently told him, I thought he already knew” she looked down is disappointment. “Then it isn’t your fault, you didn’t know” haz shrugged as zendaya let out a soft sigh, biting her lip as she laid down taking in the silence.

The door opened slowly but the alarm gave it away, Tom walked in, his black shoes stepping in first. You jumped a bit looking infront of you and finding Tom, your anxiety raised through the roof, your hands shaking as you let go of the fruit. “Hey” he said, two bags in his hand as he walked past all of you and went to your room, setting them down. When he came back down he slowly walked to you, not saying any words as you got up and sat in the seat farthest from him, leaving the fruit there, he sighed and only came closer, holding out his hand for you to take, you looked at his hand then at him, what would he do? How does he feel? All these thoughts went through your head, what if’s, what nots. “Please?” He whispered, you swallowed. Putting your hand in his, he lifted you up and traced you to your room.

When you made it you started to speak. “I-“ he cut you off by his hand over your mouth, trying to take off your shirt as you looked at him confused, he only tugged softly, you raised your arms and he pulled it up and over your head, throwing it on the floor, he unbuckled your pants pulling them down, you took out your legs and covered yourself, although you were covered and he’s seen you before, but know it was just different, everything changed. He started to take off his clothes, once he was finished he closed the door and went to your blinds, closing them. He walked up to you and took your hand away, holding onto it and pulling you to your bed, you looked at him and he looked at you, pure silence but you know what he wanted, you laid down and he did infront of you, pulling your hand around his waist.

You both just breathed, his hand holding your wrist and your head on his back, legs under his. His back started to lift and drop as he exhaled roughly, you kissed his back. He broke down. Tears falling down his cheeks as he silently sniffled, you went over him, laying infront of him and he pulled you closer, hugging tightly as hips pressed his forehead to yours. You brushed your hands on his arm, his tears not stopping as he bit his lip, looking at you he shook his head a little. “I’m so sorry” he whispered weakly, and to that you wrapped your leg around his leg, your arm circled around his neck as he continued to cry in your chest, you kissed his head as silent tears ran down your face, looking at the picture of you both in your night stand, his body shaking from him crying and his rough and cold hands holded onto your back, “it’s okay, we can try again” you whispered “we can try again” you repeated, he looked up at him and nodded softly “do you wanna be together? Do you actually want a kid? We’ve only been friends with benefits, we can’t just bring a kid to the table... right?” He mumbled, his voice hoarse.

“Only if you want to” “I do” you nodded at him, agreeing and he hid back in your chest, taking in your scent and how comforting it is. It’s surprising, weren’t you the one who had the miscarriage? Why were you holding him? It didn’t matter, at least you had each other. You both dreamed of it for a while, being together, a small kid in the middle of you both while you sleep, Christmas and how he’d be glowed up to see aunt and uncle zendaya and haz, or even god parents. But the main picture was you two, as long as you to are together nothing can go wrong, he took his hand and brought it to yours, playing with it silently and holding onto it, looking up to you and finding you already asleep, he kissed your lips and squeezed your hand, tired himself.

[straynstay]

Jeongin - Hybrid AU!

Happy Birthday, Innie ♡

you rolled on the bed trying to go back to sleep when your alarm went off for the third time 

but your eyes quickly opened when you remembered what day is today

today is February 8th, Jeongin’s 19th birthday

the day you both were waiting for since you were just toddlers running around the backyard

Jeongin was finally a grown up and could leave the house after years of ruthless waiting

you got up tripping over your own legs and ran downstairs

“wake up, wake up, wake uuup!” you bursted into his room and threw yourself on his back

“whaaaat” Jeongin complained burying his face in the pillow, but you wouldn’t let him sleep again

“get up, we have so much to do, c’mon!” you shook his body lightly

“no” he replied and waved his tail under the light blanket covering his body

“Jeongiiiin” you whined, but he didn’t seem to change his mind

you blew the soft white hair on the inside of his fluffy ear, making it twitch

“stop” he said laughing, so you blew it again

“get up, birthday boy, we’ve been waiting for this day for too long” you hugged his body

“oh yeah, it’s today” Jeongin turned around carefully, trying not to let you fall, and placed his hands on your hips to keep you close

“happy birthday” you smiled finally seeing his sleepy face

“thanks, but your breath smells”

“shut up” you rolled your eyes

“you shut up” he said mimicking you

“c’mon, get up” you gave two quick taps on his chest and got ready to push yourself up when he suddenly rolled you to his side instead, placing the light blanket on both of you

“five more minutes, I need to get 9 hours of sleep and you woke me up before that” Jeongin complained curling his body a bit and wrapping his tail softly on your leg

you smiled seeing him closing his eyes and falling asleep immediately

you were amazed to notice how much he grew before your eyes and become this handsome man

he had always been cute, but now his baby features were slowly disappearing to show a strong manly face with piercing eyes

Jeongin’s good looks have been knocking you off of your feet lately

not to mention his adorable smile and bright personality that could make even your worst days better in an instant

Jeongin is such an important part of your life ever since you were born that you don’t even know how it is to live without him

his mom, a rare Fennec fox hybrid like him, was pregnant and got rescued nineteen years ago by your mother

Fennec hybrids were being hunted because of their soft fur, a relic for rich people to use as coat, hat, scarf or even as a rug

Jeongin’s mom was able to run away, but his father was captured

she was in terrible conditions when your mom accidentally found her on the way home

they quickly became friends because your mom was also expecting, so they easily bonded over their pregnancies

although you were born first, Jeongin grew up faster than you

when you were learning how to walk, he was already running on the backyard

but the differences between you were more than just physical 

Jeongin’s mom never stoop foot outside the house again, and forbade Jeongin to the same

you, a human, could go out and have fun, study, see everything the world had to offer, but the small Fennec hybrid no

but this was never an impediment for your friendship

you would always pick up flowers, rocks, bugs or whatever you could find that you’d think Jeongin would like to see 

Jeongin was always happy with your small gifts, but your heart would break everyday watching him wave timidly from behind the curtains of your room when you walked to school

you wanted to take him with you, you wanted to show him around

make him smell the flowers without having to pluck them out

see the bugs making their way across the grass

play on your school’s playground…

you wanted him to live like you!

so when you were six years old, you began bothering his mom to let him go out

and you kept bothering until his 8th birthday, when she said he could go out on his 19th birthday since he would become a legal adult by then

and so you both waited impatiently for eleven years to go by

it seems too much, but now that you are facing him asleep it felt like it was just last week that you were both scared and screaming when you lost your first tooth

you chuckled a little remembering his crying face telling you he’d make porridge for you everyday if you somehow became toothless overnight

oh, those were amazing days, but now you’ll finally be able to show Jeongin the world

his alarm went off and he quickly opened his eyes, feeling more rested than before

“ready to begin your day?” you asked

“ready” he smiled brightly

-♡-

you were probably more excited than Jeongin, to be honest

you got everything set, including your camera to capture the whole journey, and went out in your mom’s car to show him as many places as possible

the only thing Jeongin’s mom asked was for you both to come back before sunset because she was still scared of the dark outside, and you obviously couldn’t say no

if today went fine, maybe going out could become something normal for him

as for today, Jeongin tried looking like a regular young man, hiding his fluffy ears with a red beret and tucking his tail on his jeans

he was probably uncomfortable, but it’s better to be safe than sorry

“alright, fasten your seatbelt and let’s go”

“how do I do it?” Jeongin looked at you and you remembered this is also his first time inside a car

he’s seen several movies, he knows how to use technology and whatnots, but knowing what a car is and experiencing being inside one are two things completely different, so you helped him out

“like this” you hovered over his body pulling the seatbelt to lock it in place

“this is tight… what is it for?”

“to prevent major injuries if any accident happens” you replied moving the car

“wow, it’s moving!” Jeongin widened his eyes and grabbed the seat near his thighs

“yeah, this is what cars do” you laughed a little at his innocence to the outside world

“they also do this” you said hitting the gas and speeding up fast

“AAAAAAAAAAAAH” Jeongin screamed grabbing the seat tighter “I DONT WANNA BE HERE, LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT”

you were laughing like crazy while slowing down

“this is gonna be so funny, oh gosh…”

“I hate cars” Jeongin pouted with tears filling his eyes

“I’m sorry, Innie, I had to mess with you” you placed your hand on his knee 

Jeongin was grateful that his tail was hidden so you wouldn’t see it twitch because of your sudden touch

“you’re never doing this again, right?”

“right” you nodded holding the wheel with both hands “we’re already on our first spot”

“really?” Jeongin looked outside while you parked the car

you had no idea what was going on inside his head seeing so many different things at once

but you were glad you’re the one making this memory with him

and you hoped he’d enjoy his day

-♡-

“so?” you inquired seeing him trying milkshake

you were carrying the bags of his recent shopping because you wanted him free to explore downtown

you lived in a small town, there wasn ‘t too much to see there, but you both had already explored a lot of shops and hung out at the park, which Jeongin loved

and you were happy to see him being so carefree and excited for the first time in his life

“it’s really thick, but it’s tasty” he licked his lips sipping more and more nonstop

it was too late when you tried to warn him

“aaaaaaaaaaah” he said closing his eyes tightly and holding his head with his free hand

“your first brain freeze, congrats” you laughed at his pained expression and snapped a pic

“this is terrible, but is also good, I can’t explain”

“this pretty much sums up everything in the world” you joked

“where are we going next?” he asked

“here” you pointed to the bookstore and Jeongin gasped

“this is where you buy me all those mangas?”

“yeah, and there’s many more of them inside, c’mon” you opened the door greeting the person behind the counter

you saw Jeongin gasping again and saw his eyes wide open staring at the shelves

you took another picture of him, trying to capture as much of these precious moments as possible

“go ahead, you can check them out” he turned to you as if asking ‘for real?!’

you just laughed giving his shoulder a small push

“go on”

“this is heaven” you heard Jeongin whispering and it made you smile

-♡-

“alright, where’s our next stop?” Jeongin asked carrying the heavy bags from the bookstore

“since we spent too much time here, we have to go to our final destination” you said “it’s almost curfew time”

“I’m sorry”

“for what?” you turned your head to see him

“for staying too long at the bookstore when you had other places to show me”

“it’s okay, Innie, you could’ve spent the entire day there and I wouldn’t have minded” you smiled

“really?”

“yeah, I want you to feel good about going out, I want your first experience to be unforgettable, but also pleasing, so if you’re happy checking out mangas for hours, I’m cool with it”

“now, let’s get the car and head to our final destination” you clapped your hands and walked with him to where you had parked

you put his bags on the trunk and by the time you entered the car, Jeongin was already with his seatbelt on

“fast learner, huh?” you joked starting the engine then moving

“watch out, I might steal the car someday” he joked too

“go ahead, it’s gonna be easy to catch you”

“why?” he looked at you

“because you wouldn’t drive like this to get away”

“like this how?” Jeongin questioned and you only gave him a grin

before he could yell “NO!”, you were already hitting the gas again and making him screech on his seat

-♡-

“alright, we’re here” you said pulling over at your middle school

“thank God, I need to get out of this evil machine” Jeongin’s hands were shaking even though you were driving like a responsible person now

“let me help you” you chuckled seeing him struggle with the seatbelt

he opened the door and left quickly

“is this…?” you heard him asking and you got off too

“yeah, I wanted to show you where I used to come to everyday when we were young”

“it’s a big school” Jeongin looked around

“yeah, and it was a nice one too” you sighed “you know that I wanted to bring you here with me everytime, right?”

“yeah, I know” he replied almost in a whisper

suddenly the air felt tight and you fought your tears away

so many memories you could’ve made with Jeongin here

only if he was able to live a normal life

you never blamed his mom for protecting her son

but you blamed the ones hunting down rare hybrids that destroyed Jeongin’s family

although you know that under normal circumstances you’d probably never meet each other

but now that’s something you can’t even imagine

he’s such a huge part of your life that every single day you’re even more sure that you don’t want to live without him anymore

how are you suppose to be an adult with life responsibilities and still share a huge part of your days with Jeongin?

you are one year away from getting your associate degree at the community college and just a little glimpse of an adult life has been already dragging you down

you got home so tired sometimes you couldn’t even give Jeongin proper attention like before

although he didn’t mind you being busy as long as he could stay with you in your room either being your nap buddy or just watching you study

not much had changed from your school days, to be honest

you would still do your own stuff while Jeongin laid on your bed reading, listening to music, or just observing you

sometimes he would help you get ready for your finals, making some flashcards to help you memorize difficult subjects or quizzing you

and you were used to this routine

you were used to coming home and being inquired about your day

and you loved this

you loved being with Jeongin

and you don’t know how life’s gonna be now that he’s an adult and you’re even more closer to getting a full-time job like your mom

and you know how’s your mom’s schedule, she’s barely home

that’s why you’re afraid

you’re afraid of being too absent

you’re afraid of being forgotten

you’re afraid of losing him

“hey, I know these” Jeongin called your attention to the flower bed near the school’s entrance

“I have no idea how they’re still growing, I used to pluck them daily” you smiled faintly seeing the small flowers you used to give him

those were easier days

Jeongin picked up one and his fond smile made your heart beat fast

“I have a box full of them” it was the first time you were hearing this 

“they’re dry now, but I kept all the ones you gave me” his smile was so big and so bright you couldn’t hold back your tears anymore

Jeongin saw you crying and didn’t say a word

he just hugged you tightly and let you hold on to him until you were feeling better

Jeongin knew you better than yourself most of the times

and words would never be able to express how much he means to you and how thankful you are for him staying by your side

you only let him go when you noticed it was almost dark

“c’mon, let’s go home before we get in trouble” you said sniffing and rubbing your eyes

“can I drive now?” he asked

“ha ha, nice try”

-♡-

the drive home was peaceful and silent

you were able to get home just in time before the night fell, but Jeongin’s mom was pacing back and forth in the living room waiting for you

Jeongin got inside quickly when you said you’d unload the car

“... and then we went to the ice cream shop and I had milkshake, which was nice but also weird because it was too cold and…” Jeongin was already on the couch with his mom blabbing on about his day

you smiled placing the bags down

you went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and also to give him time with his mom to share everything he saw

you really hoped he’d be able to go out again, even if it took a while

you went to your bedroom afterwards, still hearing his excited narrative to his mom

you picked up some new clothes, showered, then uploaded the pics from your camera to the computer

so many photos of Jeongin with different expressions in so many different places

today will be remembered as a good memory, at least to you

“hey, I brought his birthday cake” your mom startled you a bit

she was still in her work outfit, so you guessed she had just arrived

“hey, how was work?” you asked

“same old same” she shrugged “how was your day out with Jeongin?”

“it was nice, I guess”

“he can’t stop talking about it, I’ve never seen him so talkative before” your mom laughed a bit

“I’m glad he’s happy about it” you smiled briefly

“what’s concerning you?” she questioned entering the room and closing the door

you can never hide yourself from your mom, so you don’t even try

“the future” you answered honestly

“whose future?”

“mine… and Jeongin’s”

“in what way?”

you sighed before replying, trying your best to keep your tears away

“I’m gonna graduate soon, and I’ve seen some job offers in another town, but I don’t wanna leave him behind” you choked. “I can’t leave him behind” you shook your head

your mom hugged you caressing your hair

“Jeongin is an adult now, he can take care of himself”

“but I don’t wanna be without him” you sobbed

“ah, I see…” your mom held you closer “then you’ll have to talk to him and figure out what he wants in life”

“what’s in life for a rare hybrid that has to live hidden so he doesn’t get killed?”

“being a pet companion” you scoffed at your mom’s answer

“Jeongin deserves better than staying at home waiting for an owner”

“he should be the judge of that, don’t you think?” her words hit you hard

yes, you want what’s best for him, but you can’t decide his future for him

he’s not a child anymore and it scares you

you grew up pretty much attached to the hip with him

you were inseparable kids, but now you’re both adults

and there’s no way your friendship is going to remain the same as before once life starts to weight its responsibilities on your shoulders

your mom held your chin and made you face her

“today is his birthday, and you gave him the best present he could ever dream of: your time” 

you were sure she would say ‘taking him out’

this was unexpected

“but I always give him my time” you were confused

“and there’s nothing more he wants from you. Jeongin loves being with you, so even if you’re worried now, I’m certain everything will turn out fine” your mom smiled

“now go wash your face so we can eat some cake, hm?”

you nodded and she left your room

-♡-

you tried your best to push all your concerns away and enjoy the last hours of his birthday

Jeongin was radiant

he couldn’t stop smiling and this is the happiest you’ve seen him so far

and you wish you could bottle up this moment to live it over and over again

Jeongin did deserve the best this world could offer him

and you promised yourself you’d support whatever choice he makes in his future

after singing Happy Birthday To You, eating tons of cake while making a happy dance, and showing everyone all the things he bought, Jeongin was finally showering to call it a day

you helped his mom clean everything up and then you headed to the backyard to lay on the hammock

you looked up at the sky to admire the meekly starry night

you sighed deeply moving the hammock in a slow swing

so many good memories come to your mind when you think of your childhood with him

will you be able to also make good memories now that you’ve grown up?

you really hope so

“here you are” you snapped your head towards the sound and saw Jeongin on the archway of the backdoor

you couldn’t help smile seeing him laying down next to you

you were both silent for a couple of minutes before he started talking

“thanks for taking me out today” he smiled

“wish we could’ve done this earlier, though”

“yeah, mom said the same when we were talking after I came back” Jeongin said

“so this means you’ll be able to go out again someday?” you beamed, almost getting up in excitement

“yeah” he nodded

“where do you wanna go next? we can try visiting the beach during summer break! I can ask mom to lend me the car again, we can have a short weekend somewhere not too far from here just in case, or if you wanna go crazy we can cross states and have a full week trip!”

“anywhere you wanna take me is fine” Jeongin simply replied “to be honest, I never thought that I would see the world one day”

“we just strolled around town, there’s so much more to see!” you chuckled

“I know, I see the world map on your wall everyday. But... can I tell you something?” he lowered his voice

“hm?”

“even though I went to a lot of places and saw different things today, there’s nothing like this” 

you furrowed your eyebrows not quite understanding what he’s saying

Jeongin sighed and looked away to the stars above

“what I’m trying to say is that there’s no other place on earth I’d rather be than here with you” his hand slowly found yours between your bodies and he held it firmly

“you’re my home” Jeongin turned his head to stare deeply into your eyes 

“and I love being home” he squeezed your hand as if scared that you’d leave him for good someday

as if he knew you wouldn’t stay too long here with him stuck in such a small town

your eyes were suddenly blurry and a lump formed in your throat

you scooted closer and laid your head on his chest, listening to his fast heartbeat

Jeongin wrapped his tail over your leg, his warm body being enough to protect you from the night breeze

and you realised that no matter where life leads you, you will always come back home

[the-worst-fe-player]

Give ur best hot take. It can be about anything

Alright lol thinking about if I should do a serious hot take or a fandom one that's why this took so long sorry also rember I'm drunk and do get a little angry in the second one so if the wording is bad so sorry

So the fandom one. The creast system in three houses was so fucking bad because of how unless it is in combat. Like dimitri is the only character who's creast does something semi good but even then it fucks him up half the time like what do the creast actually do that make them so valuable for people in charge because holst is said to be so much stonger then hilda even without a creast. I get they didn't want to make creast do to much so people would be like yeah taking down the creast system wont fuck up the world because an amazing power is gone but like i feel like it does the opposite if I remember correctly Ingrids supports say the creast blood line is dying they probably wouldnt be around in the next couple of decades and like I said with holsts we see that those without creasts can thrive (if somone says milkan I'm going throw hands lol he was an evil jelous sadist bastard that tried to kill his own brother that's why he was chucked out) so if you put all this together it really doesn't make sense for there to be so much Crest hatred from edelgard from the side its hurting the common folk because like its really not what's hurting them is classims something that we have seen done in other games fuck even different fire emblem games much better

Okay next bit is under the cut the real life hot take because I kind of went off on one genral trigger warning for this

So like for a serious hot take trigger warning for pedophilia so both sides to anit and anit anit are fucking full of pedopiles and minors should stay the fuck away from that stuff and anyone on either sides that trys to get minors involved in that kind of stuff are sick because thir exposeing kids not just to real fucked up stuff but also what I said all the pedos that are on both sides taking advantage of kids that want to play my little actvised. and you wanna known why I know because iv been in fandom spaces since I was 12 years old and when I was 13 my stupid bitch ass befriended a map because my idoit ass got manipulated into thinking she was a good person because she said she wouldnt act on those urges (she did I'm fine I blocked her when she kept on asking for pics but fucked me up real bad it did) and was an anti so shes fighting the good fight when actually she was hiding behind the label anti while being a sick cunt on the side and I know I'm not the only one that has had this happen and some wasn't as lucky as me when it came to what got sent. Anyways after that I remember being like so fucking scared of anyone that identifies as an anti even the ones that have maps kill yourself in there bio and I'm honstly still weary of them now at 18 lol because that was my friend I trusted her only to find out I was being maplted for nudes the whole time (which is probably why I'm such a slut now because I'll rather give it out willing then be malpatived again fuck that makes sense did I really have a breakthrough on fucking tumblr) anway I made a post on a reddit vent bored back in the day i I reddit a lot lol and had a couple of nice people commit me saying it's not your fault you didn't know because your so young and also some saying mood but there was this one fucking bitch that was anti anti to start ranting about antis and we stared dm on here anyway long story short they where a freak as well and there is a lot of horror storys online about anit anits so I wont go into as much detail as I did with the anit one but yeah it fucking sucked and I think this is the first time iv ever said this because of how tumblr can be with this stuff also to anyone reading this I dont want no pitty this was my own stupid falut for falling pary to that kind of stuff alright. But yeah just please dont get minors into anit and anit anit stuff leave that to grown adults who not only understand the shit there talking about (mostly) but also aren't in the danger the children are like how many kids have to come out talking about how many people are using this discourse as cover up for them hurting irl minors. Obslevly not also people that are anits are this bad but there enough of them that you probably shouldn't be inviting kids to discord severs full of them

[selfcareparker]

okay fghsgdj yes you can say girl ! my pronouns are she/her :) okay but fr pause, i read this like 3 minutes after you posted it (or at least my notif said 3mins lmao) bUT IM IN BED AND I USUALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER OPEN WITH YOUR RESPONSE SO I MAKE SURE I ADDRESS EVERYTHING AND THEN SEND IN THE ASK ON MY PHONE HDGSJSH anyway, time to get my ass up 😔 but wait i find you so funny like honestly, reading that cracked me all the way up. and i feel the “lol” thing so hard!!!! idk why i do it all the time (i’m tryna stop) but i’ll say something with lol at the beginning and lol at the end... it might be a defense mechanism at this point lol (😔) AND (i need to stop with the uppercase too it’s not funny anymore) I DONT KNOW WHY I LAUGHED SO HARD JDHSK WHEN YOU SAID ALSO AGAIN HAHAHAH LIKE UR HAHHAH also my sleep schedule is not pretty either lmao but i’m homeschooled so i never have to get up for anything? hhdhsis idk but i’m glad you slept!! you need sleep!!

also (pls no i cannot) why did i not know what ykwim meant until i reread this?? like it makes so much sense- anyway! i think it’s so cool that you’re excited for university! idk why but i do lol like you’re getting ready for the future (masters degree and all that) & you’re (maybe) going to england anyway so that’s cool haha (hopefully when you go you can see your relatives 🤞🏾)

the fact that you get happy seeing my asks i- 💓💓

you make me wanna go to London & England so bad urghhhh like i’ve only been out of the country once (to Canada for a family reunion) but it sounds so prettyyyyy & i’m so sorry that cov*d is messing everything up and i hope you can see your relatives soon :(

now to address the whole english speaking/writing: I FIND THAT SO WEIRD DUHSKSJ i don’t know how an english speaking person could say that if you don’t write it 100% grammatically correct.... that it’s wrong? when literally, over here at least, WE’RE SO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT HAHHAAH in both the way we talk and write!! and lol you’re welcome,, AND THE PARAGRAPH DID MAKE SENSE HDHSJSH & your rant is fine because... that is actually a bit ??? bc no one writes with 100% grammar lol

OH MY GOSH (see this uppercase thing is addictive) YOU STUDIED LATIN FOR 6 YEARS??? that’s really cool 🥺 the way that you know/speak 3+ languages i- NOT EVEN 3+ LIKE 6+ (german, english, latin, french, serbian, italian, and everything that comes with latin lmao) even if it’s just a tiny bit like wowee. it is really fascinating!!! i had the opportunity to take latin and i... didnt. i took art instead BUT ONLY CUZ MY FRIENDS WERE IN THAT CLASS AND ART LOOKED FUN IM SORRY

PLEASE WHY DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE?? that sounds so fricking cool tell your mom (mum or mama it’s really fine lol) that she sounds awesome. i think Jamaica would be fun either way!! i mean it looks pretty from pictures? i was a baby so i honestly have no recollection hahaha

LMAOO NOT U SAYING THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS- PLEASE GIRL IM TELLING YOU I VERBALLY LAUGHED HAHAHAHAHAH but yea you really don’t need to apologize i like reading everything you say 🥺 HDKSHS AND UR FINE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ME BEFORE uhhh hmm uhh lemme think i, well, i saw chaos walking yesterday (big tom holland fan over here) and it was alright.. my mom acted a fool at all the jump scares LMAO but it was funny... since i’m talking about movies (this is hella random i know) but i like shark movies HDKJSSJ my favorite is the meg (it’s so good ohmigosh) and the 47 meters down movies aren’t bad either... i have two younger brothers... iiiii AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC PHEW anddd i’m homeschooled (i think i mentioned that lol) i think that’s a good amount ahahaha AND IM HUNGRY RN JDHSJ

now. please. let me address the edit. i just want you to know that.. when i talk about your fics and i finish them and everything i’m not looking for more? like obviously if you’re writing i’m gonna read it but you don’t need to feel pressured or anything (idk if you do) to put more fics out lol like they’re great and i’m just sending the praise bc i love the ones that are there :’) but i’m so happy you’re working through your writers block!!! yay so so happy for you!!! and PUHLEASE anything you write is fantastic, i feel the exact same way when i write but girl. you’re fine. it’s gonna be great. (idk if this made any sense but... okay)

(and my cousin calls her mom mama so it’s really okay hahah i even call my mom mama sometimes) (and where you got the number “16 sentences” beats me but i still cracked up) (is this me pretending i had tags? maybe) HAHAHAHA OK BYE ❤️❤️ why did this take me so long to send i have no clue, AND WHY AM I OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING I SAID SHAJSHSJ ANYWAY BYE btw i love us too... like iconic // lovely anon 💓

me reading this:

also the dedication you put into sending me stuff— like with the laptop and phone and ahsksk 🥺🥺🥺

i’ll update you when i’ve started uni btw, i’m getting more and more excited every single day haha but i still have 3 weeks until it starts and even then I’ll obviously have to get used to it and everything, but you’re making me even more excited about it sksjshsg

yeah i wanna go to england too dkshsh let’s be sad together over the fact the we can’t travel eksjsh😔😭 but hopefully the wait will make it even better in the end <33 also i talk to loads of relatives over the phone at least once a week so it’s not too bad for me! but i miss their house 😭lmao

and i knowww snshsh so many native english speakers just make so many mistakes— and obviously i get that some things are slang but some things are simply wrong ajsh, the thing is no one has ever told me that my english is bad (i know it’s not bad anyway, but i’m still insecure) or no one has ever pointed out any mistakes, but yeah it’s mostly just insecurity dkshsg but yes thanks for saying what you said (previously as well as in this ask)😌🥰

Okay now for latin— girlll i don’t blame u for choosing art over latin esp. when all of your friends are doing art as well!! I’d choose art over latin as well lol skshsg but in year 6 we had to choose between latin and french, and at the time i didn’t like french? which was dumb of me and now i wanna learn french ekdhs but i don’t regret choosing latin at all bc if i properly learn french one day then i’ll already know understand loads of stuff (or at least some stuff lol) just thanks to latin 😌😌 but still, art>>>latin skskshshgs

I wanna watch chaos walking too!!! But i don’t get when/where/how it’s out lmao, cinemas are still closed here so i’ll either have to wait or find it somewhere online... il*egally 🥰 i don’t have high expectations at all btw but i like daisy and tom and the dog🥺 so i think i’ll enjoy it

GIRL SHARK FILMS SHARK FOLMS SKSJSHSHS okay so there are a few classics i haven’t watched yet, and also a few new ones that i haven’t seen yet BUT I LOVE SHARK FILMS SO MUCH SKSHSGSGSKK the first like proper shark film i ever watched was the shallows (which i like but my brain is still too small to comprehend what happened at the end (i mean i get it but i just can’t imagine it— idek if you’ve seen the film but skshhs)) and after watching it three times it does get a bit boring (but now whenever i see pictures or videos of big waves i’m just waiting for a shark to show up like come ON SKSJSG

^^^that pic/scene really traumatised me sksjsh but i still like the film

I only watched jaws like a few months ago, and i get that it’s a classic and also that it’s old and they just didn’t have the best.. equipment or special effects or whatever but i mean... look at meg and then look at jaws.... no disrespect to jaws at ALL but the meg is so much cooler. (That one scene on the boat where the shark just JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER AND SKSJSHHSUSJHA i get such a shock every time it’s so good (and the dog aww aksjshssli 🥺🥺🥰 and the boy with the ice cream lmao he’s iconic)

47 metres down, wow, i liked that film too. (i’ve only watched the original/first one i think) i mean that is such a fucking nightmare scenario like ALSJDHSNEMSKDJSHSJSKWBALSODUEWBSLDKHDJSNSKSKSHSGEBWKAISGSHEKEKSKLDJDJDHDHSHAGGA (that’s the best way i can express my feelings about that scenario lmao)

oh and i’ve recently been watching more horror films but i don’t know if they’re for me... I like the thrill and whatever but i just end up being scared for my life when i have to go to the bathroom at night or when i’m trying to sleep bc suddenly my mind is flooded with all the scary shit from the films 💀💀💀

and music i mean... you know those people who just don’t listen to music? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???? i honestly like all genres especially in the last year, i am IN LOVE with Nicki Minaj + Megan andddd Stormzy and i like Harry Styles but i prefer his first solo album (and obviously one direction has bangers i have a throwback 1D session at least once a month), I also love MGK especially his new stuff and otherwise i mostly listen to german artists lmao. So who do you like?💖 (WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOURE GONNA SAY SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKAHAGUS IF YOU LISTEN TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSIC DONT JUDGE ME AJSHDJS) (i know you’re not gonna judge me but)

++ @ the thing you said about writing, don’t worry, i don’t feel pressured at all!!! (not by you and not by anybody else.. except myself sometimes lol) and i’m just very happy that you liked my fics 🥰🥰🥰 and if i start telling people that i’m writing a fic then sometimes it puts a bit of (healthy) pressure on me. like yes sometimes it really is writer’s block, but sometimes i really am just lazy ddkshhd so now that i’ve told you i’m writing a fic i might get my ass up quicker than i would if i hadn’t told anyone 😌😌😌

[shewritestheblues]

The Elevator Bae x Chapter 6

Chapter SIX

Erik x Black OC (Phoenix)

-------------------

Camren stood in the center of everyone as they crowded around her singing Happy Birthday to her. She was all smiles with her Birthday Girl tiara on, holding up her glass of champagne. She swayed her hips back and forth until they finished.

“Thank you guys! This dinner was amazing. I love every single one of yall, but.. Ya’ girl is ready to turn up,” She points to Mica and Phoenix. “I know there’s more.”

“There’s always more.” Mica says.

Camren says good-bye to her family. Phoenix and Ava thanked everyone for coming out while Mica headed to the parking lot to get Ava’s truck.

Camren, Phoenix, Tiana and Ave piled themselves in Ava’s truck and Mica drove them to the club. As they approached the door, one of the security guards noticed Phoenix.

“Big Blue! What’s up lil mama?”

“Hey Jimmy.” she hugs him.

“They with you?” he motions to the women behind her.

“Of course. It’s Cam’s bday.”

Jimmy nods his head in Camren’s direction, “Happy Birthday. Blue got you the best section in this bitch.”

Camren can’t control herself, bouncing on her feet. “She was always my favorite.”

All of the women look at Camren. “Anything for you, Cam.” Phoenix says, grabbing Camren’s hand is leading them inside. Mica was the last in the small line of women and Jimmy stopped her.

“What’s your name lil mama?”

Mica looked him up and down, checking out his tatted, chiseled arms. He stands 6’4 with the prettiest teeth she had seen on a man. “Mica.” she finally responded.

“Come see me before y’all leave, alright?”

“Yeah, I got you.”

He winks at her and she turns to continue into the club where she found her friends watching her from inside the door.

“I see you, Mica. He fine as hell.” Tiana says.

The ladies follow Phoenix as she leads them to through the club. They traveled across the dance floor, around a huge bar and up a flight of stairs and glowed as they stepped on each step. They continued walking until they reached a huge section, with four bottles of Hennessy already waiting on ice. Coby was already there with a few other friends. He greeted each woman with a huge until her got to Ava. He wrapped his arms around her, grabbing her ass and kissing her. Phoenix proceeded to line up shot glasses and fill them with Hennessy. Each of her friends grabbed their glass, raising it in the air.

“Happy Birthday Camren. We love your crazy ass to the moon and back.” Phoenix says.

Everyone shouts, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAM!”

Tossing their shot glasses back, the women have begun their turn up. A few more shots and they were all twerking on each other and talking their shit, rapping along to every song that came on.

“We need a group picture.” Camren yells into Mica’s ear. Mica passes the message on, gathering all the women up near the balcony. Coby patiently waiting, and laughing, as they tried to map out their drunk poses.

“Can y’all c’mon?”

“WE’RE READY!”

Coby takes their pictures, getting every angle just in case somebody doesn’t like their face in the last pic. Because someone WILL decide on one that they don’t like.

“Send those to me.” Each of them yelled at Coby.

They continued to drink and dance. Drinking always gave Phoenix a bit more courage (and weed calms her nerves enough for her to be bold). She was also an I love you drunk and the feeling were starting to come out. She sat on Ava’s lap, hugging her. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Philly.” Ava smiles.

Mica, Camren and Tiana stood in front of them, “You don’t love us?” Camren yelled.

“Of course I love you. I love all of you so much.”

“We love you too.”

Camren pulls all of them into a group hug. “Thank You for my birthday.”

--------

As the night progressed, Phoenix found herself just sitting on the couch, babysitting her fourth drink, watching everyone around her. Mica joins her on the couch.

“You good?” she asked.

“Yeah. I’m just chilling.”

“Did you text your man, yet?”

“My what!” Phoenix acts surprised.

“YOUR MAN!”

Phoenix playfully rolls her eyes, “No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t-- I don’t wanna be all clingy. He just gave me his number a couple hours ago.”

Camren squeezes herself between them. “What are yall over here talking about?”

Mica looks at Phoenix, expecting her to spill it. She looks away, avoiding eye contact.

“Ugh. I’m trying to tell her to text her man.” Mica finally speaks up.

Camren pinches Phoenix, making her look back to them. “You have a man? Philly! Is he cute?”

“He’s not my man.”

“You want him to be. I seen how y’all was looking at each other.” Mica intervenes.

“We’re building a friendship.” Phoenix says trying to convince herself more than her friends.

“Those are the best kinds. But you never told me if he’s cute or not.”

“Yea--”

Mica interrupts, shaking her head. “The nigga is fine, Cam. He thick too. He just screams big dick energy.”

Camren looks impressed. “Girl, text him.”

Phoenix sighs, processing her friends words. The two of them leave her be on the couch once again. She downs the rest of her drink because fuck it. Erik is about to get this text. She picks up her phone from the table in front of her, typing her message.

Phoenix: Wassup Stevens. Guess who?

------------

Erik had just laid down in his bed. Tired was an understatement. He had worked out hard, earlier that day. After his exchange with Phoenix in the garage, he stopped by his friend, TJ’s place. Catching up and playing 2k. He had cancelled plans with TJ to go to the studio with Phoenix. After a few hours of that and eating a pound of wings, he was home, showered and ready to sleep. That is, until his phone vibrated on his nightstand. He reached for it not really expecting it to be anything. A random number texted him with the message, Wassup Stevens. Guess who?

He knew better. Of course it was Phoenix, but Erik being Erik, he had to have fun with this. His sleep could wait. His thumbs moved around the small keyboard, creating a response.

----------

Phoenix watched as the text bubbles popped up. She bit her lip to stop her smile from forming and waiting to see what he is going to say.

Erik😛: hmm, 🤔this Tiffany?

Phoenix: Boy, you got me fucked up.

Erik😛: lmao. Relax, Im just messing with you. I know this you baby girl.

Phoenix: You’re an asshole.🙄

Erik😛: You dont mind it though.

Phoenix: anyways. Wyd?

-------

Erik had completely sat up in his bed now. He wasted no time on saving her number as ‘Babygirl’.

Erik: Been laying here, waiting on you to hit me up. You still out?

Babygirl: Yeah and my bad.🙈 Didn't mean to keep you waiting.

Erik: I don't mind waiting on you.

Babygirl: Don’t make me blush Stevens.

Erik pictured just how she looks blushing and that made him blush. His cheeks were becoming sore from how big he was smiling. Little did he know, she was looking like a complete dork, smiling at her phone in the middle of the club as well.

———

Phoenix sat in the corner of the club couch texting Erik until her friends were ready to go. They had all decided they would stay at Coby’s house for the night. His place was their usual ‘after the club’ crashing spot. He had plenty of space for all of them. Tonight would be no different. The women piled into Ava’s Jeep. Camren laid out on the laps of those who sat in the back seat and Ava sat up front with her man. One of Coby’s friends took charge of his car and followed him home.

Phoenix couldn’t wait to make it to Coby’s house to continue texting Erik. She kept her phone in her clutch. She didn’t want to risk one of friends seeing her texting him and trying to be all up in her business even more than they already were.

“Let’s get some wings.” Camren shouted from the backseat.

“Where in the hell are we gonna get some wings from at 2:30 in the morning Cam?”

“I don’t know. I’m hungry.”

“I’m hungry too.” Mica and Tiana said at the same time.

“You hungry too, Philly?” Coby asked, looking at her through the rear view mirror.

“When am I not hungry?”

“Y’all gotta be shitting me,” Coby drags his hands over his face. He looks over to see Ava passed out against the window. “Listen. There nowhere that’s open right now that has wings. I can take y’all to McDonalds.”

“YES! I want some nuggets.” Camren sat up, almost hitting her head on the top of the truck.

“Anything else?” Coby asked.

The women started shouting out orders.

“Large fry.” “Nuggets!” “McChicken with cheese.” “Nuggets.”

Coby headed to McDonalds to get their food and take them to his house. He knew they would regret this decision in the morning but he’d rather that than to hear a bunch of drunk women cuss him out over some damn Nuggets if he told them No.

It took forever for McDonald’s to fill his large order. The women whined in protest to how long they were waiting. They finally got the food and dug in without a second thought.

“And y’all better not spill shit in her truck. I’m not trynna hear Ava’s mouth about nothing tomorrow.”

With that being said, Coby got them in the house safely and full. Each woman crashed in different areas of the house. By the time they made it to their destination, Phoenix had forgotten about her text conversation with Erik and passed out in one of Coby’s guest rooms.

————-

Waking up was rough. Phoenix could feel her heart beating in her head. She rolled around the bed, feeling through the sheets for her phone. The sun was shining bright through the window, she her task was tough when her head was buried under the covers. Not having any luck, she finally got up, still in her dress, to look for her clutch. Somehow, it made its way to the floor at the foot of the bed. She took out her phone to see that it's just past noon and she had two unread text from Erik. She grinned big, swiping her screen to open the messages. She scrolled a bit to read her last response to see what exactly he was responding to because in all honesty, she only remembered a few bits of last night after her third shot.

Phoenix: So are you gonna tell me your reasons for picking the tongue out emoji?

Erik😛: You’re not ready to find that out yet.

Erik😛: lol, you must be KO. Hope you had fun baby girl. Text me when you get up.

Phoenix couldn’t contain her excitement that they were actually texting each other now. No more waiting to just see him on the elevators. Her excitement took a turn when her head started spinning. She felt a knot in her throat. She tried to swallow it back down but there was no stopping it. She had to find a toilet, NOW! She ran into the guest bathroom, throwing up last nights drunk food. She leaned over the toilet, chastising herself. Finally sure that she got it all out, she got up to slowly walk her body out into the hallway. Since Coby’s house is their go to after the club, Coby started keeping a change of clothes for them. She made her way to the hall closet where he kept, t-shirts, leggings, etc along with towels. She picked out a fresh set of clothes and towels and went back into the guest bathroom and showered.

Phoenix got dressed and put her hair up into a top knot bun and went downstairs to find everyone else. She found Coby and Ava in the kitchen. Mica was still asleep in the living room, on the couch. The birthday girl and Tiana were somewhere, probably still asleep.

“Morning.” Coby said. His voice sounded like he was speaking in a megaphone.

“Morning.” she whined.

“C’mon over here,” He motioned to the car seat next to Ava, who was leaning over her arm. “I’ll make you some coffee too.”

Phoenix joined them, laying her head down over her hands. Coby started making her some coffee. He placed the creamer and sugar in front of her.

“My face hurt.” Ava finally spoke.

Coby slid a fresh cup of coffee to Phoenix. She added her creamer and more than enough sugar and sipped it slow.

“It’s almost one. I doubt we make it to brunch.” Phoenix says between sips.

They sat there in silence for awhile before they heard someone dragging their feet into the kitchen. “Morning.” They heard from a yawning voice. It was Camren.

“Morning, birthday girl.” Coby said.

“Stop yelling.” Camren said, leaning over the counter.

“I’m not yelling.”

“I want coffee.”

“Me too.” Mica says, joining them in the kitchen with Tiana right behind her. Coby went ahead and made all three of them some coffee. “Y’all need to eat.” He said filling their mugs.

“I want Roscoe’s.” Camren says.

“Tell me what y’all want and I’ll get it. I know yall asses aint trying to leave no time soon.”

Ava typed up their orders on her phone and sent it in a text to Coby. He left to get their food. While they waited, Camren, Mica and Tiana took showers. Ava and Phoenix waited for them to finish in the backyard, on the patio. They sat out there, both wearing a pair of Coby’s sunglasses in an attempt to block out the sun.

Phoenix remembered that she hadn’t yet texted Erik back. Her thumbs hovered over the phone until she could figure out what to say.

Phoenix: Hey, sorry. I was slumped last night. Good afternoon though.

The text bubbles popped up immediately.

Erik😛: It’s all good baby girl. You have fun?

Phoenix: Yeah. Feels like Im dying now though.

Erik😛: You eat something yet?

Phoenix: Coby’s getting us food. He should be here soon. Wyd?

Erik😛: Tell that nigga hurry up and feed my girl.

Erik😛: Im running some errands.

His girl? Phoenix didn’t mind being called his girl.

Phoenix: Im ya’ girl now?

Before Erik could text back, the rest of her friends joined her and Ava outside and they all started talking about the night before. Reminiscing on the fun times they had. Camren thanked them again for making sure her birthday was special.

“We have one more gift for you, Cam Bam.” Mica says.

“Yall have done enough. Stop it.”

“Girl bye. It’s your birthday.” Ava says walking back into the house.

“What y'all get me?” Camren looks at Phoenix and Mica. Neither of them respond. “Stop playing. What is it?”

Ava joins them again with an envelope in hand, giving it to Camren. “Open it.”

She opens it and pulls out a packet that pictures a villa and things to do on an island.

“What is this?” she yells out in excitement.

Tiana snatches the papers from her hands, “Girl, a vacation.”

“Are yall serious?”

“Mhmm,” Phoenix nods her head. “Five nights and six days in Turks and Caicos. Next month. All five of us.”

Camren started to cry. They hugged her and made fun of her for always crying. Coby comes back in with the food. He brings it outside to them.

“Damn, Cam. You always crying, bro.” he says, sitting the food on the table.

“Shut up. They got me a vacation.”

------------

Phoenix walks through her door, exhausted. She threw her body on her couch. What a day. Camren loved her birthday and her gift. Phoenix enjoyed her friends but let's be honest… people, including her friends, were tiring. Her social battery died hours ago. The relief to be home, alone in her own space. She laid there with her eyes closed, taking in the silence of her living room. Her phone goes off, taking Phoenix from her mind. She gets up to find it. She dropped all of her belongings on the floor when she came in and searched through her bag for it. Finally finding it, she has a text from Erik.

Erik😛: You made it in?

Suddenly, Phoenix had energy. She sat on the floor, bringing her knees to her chest. Smiling down at her phone, she responds.

Phoenix: yeah. Just got in.

Erik😛: wow, smh. Thanks for letting me know.

Phoenix: lol im sorry.

Biting her lip, she wants to do something. Her thumbs hover her keyboard. Erik hadn’t texted back yet so she still had time. Fuck it! What’s the worst that could happen?

Phoenix: Are you home?

The three minutes it took for him to respond felt like three years. Her palms were sweaty as she watched the bubbles pop up on the screen.

Erik😛: yeah. Whats up?

Phoenix: wanna come hang out with me?

Phoenix drops her phone on the floor. Her nerves taking over. “What the fuck am I doing? Am I doing this right now?” Her phone dings. She couldn’t open the message. What if he doesn’t want to? She picks up her phone, taking in a shaky breath as she swipes his message open.

Erik😛: 👀 yeah.

Erik😛: I got something for you too.

Phoenix: for me? What is it?

Erik😛: I’ll be down there in a minute. You’ll see.

Phoenix jumps up and picking up her bag and clothes from the night before, tossing them in her room and closing her bedroom door. She rushes back into the living room, turning on the tv. She checks her snack cabinet. She has plenty. “Okay...okay,” she says to herself. “We’re all good. This is gonna be cool. Just two friends--” her words are cut off by a knock at the door. She wipes her sweaty palms on her leggings and makes her way to the door. She opens the door and the site before her, snatched her breath. Erik stood there with his bare, muscled arms on full display as he sported a crisp, white fitted tank, paired with heather grey joggers that hung low. His dreads hung wildly over his face. She took in his seemingly flawless appearance piece by piece. Phoenix hadn’t realized that she was standing there, just staring at him until her waved his hand in her face, breaking her trance.

“Phoenix!” his voice boomed through her ears, flowing down into her chest. She squeezes eyes shut to regroup. She opens her eyes, pushing a small smile.

“Sorry.” she steps back to welcome him in.

He chuckles to himself. “You good, baby girl. You like what you see. I understand.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Stevens.”

He follows her to the couch. He digs into his pocket, pulling out a blunt. “This is for you.”

“Aw, thanks Stevens. We can smoke this right now, actually.”

He gives her a lighter and she lights the blunt taking a hit. Then another. She passes it to him. He takes a drag.

“So Stevens, I figured you could watch Steven Universe with me and eat Oreos.”

“Steven Universe? What the fuck is that?” he passes her the blunt.

“Only my favorite cartoon ever. It’s really good. You’re gonna like it.”

She gives him back the blunt and starts the show from episode one. She grabs a few snacks from the kitchen. “Look what I got.” She holds up two Martinelli Apple Juice. Erik holds his heart with a smile.

“You remembered.”

She joins him again on the couch, sitting so close, their thighs were touching. As the first episode begins, Phoenix sings along with the theme song. Erik watches her with a smile at how excited she was to be singing along. Erik reached down, grabbing her ankles and sliding her legs over his lap. She watched him, not taking her eyes from his hands as his fingertips trailed up her leg until he reached her thigh. He gripped her thigh and massaged it. The entire time his eyes never left the tv screen. Phoenix’s breath hitched as he continued rubbing the spot where his hand rested on her. She looked up at him. He was sitting there like he was just unaware of what he was doing. Something happened on the show that made him laugh and she watched as his body bounced with laughter. To distract herself, she stuffed an Oreo in her mouth and did her best to pay attention to the tv.

“Damn girl, you hogging the cookies.”

Phoenix had been cradling the pack of cookies, eating one right after the other. “Sorry. You want one?”

“Yeah. Feed me one.”

“Feed you one?”

“Yeah, c’mon girl.” He opened his mouth.

She slowly swallowed the remaining pieces she was holding in her mouth. She held the Oreo between her fingers, “You want me to break it for you?”

He cuts his eye at her. “Phoenix, I’m a grown ass man. Put the cookie in my mouth.”

She looked at him with a smirk. She would gladly put the cookie in his mouth. She giggled as she fed him the cookie. He caught on to why she was tickled and laughed himself. “You’re childish baby girl.”

“You said it.”

They continued watching the show and eventually ate the entire pack of Oreos. They were seven episodes deep when Phoenix found herself leaning on Erik’s shoulder. Her fingers were absentmindedly tracing his scars. When she noticed what she was doing, she looked at him, wondering if he knew what she was doing. Was he secretly enjoying it? He could feel her staring at the side of his face. He peeks over at her.

“What?” he asked.

She rubs her thumbs over her scars in thought. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

Looking at his arm, “What’s the meaning behind these?”

He watches as her thumbs move softly over his scars. He clenches his jaw and unclenches. Their eyes meet.

“Can I trust you?” he asked.

“I’m pretty sure if you couldn’t trust me, you wouldn’t be sitting here with me right now.”

“True. If I tell you, you have to promise me that you won’t look at me any differently.”

“I promise.”

He sits there for a moment, gathering the right words. Phoenix was patient with him. She knew there was a deeper story to him. She was willing to sit there as long as she needed for him to feel comfortable. She continued to rub her thumb over her scars in the hopes that it would settle his thoughts.

“Remember when I told you my parents died when I was young and I had to take care of myself?” he started. Phoenix nodded, remembering their conversation in the studio. “That shit changed me. It was nothing that I could do. I was ready to give it to any and everybody. But I was smart about it. I went to the Navy. I trained. I worked hard. I was the best nigga they had. When it was time to get my boots on the ground, I made sure I always hit my target and anything that tried to get in my way. Each kill became a mark.”

Phoenix’s eyes trailed down in arm. There were so many scars. That meant so many bodies.

“I was top ranked. I was given the name Killmonger because I had so many kills.” he continued. “The scars were my way of making sure everybody knew how powerful I was. I wasn’t somebody to be fucked with. I’m not that helpless little boy on missions.”

Phoenix’s thumb motions stopped but she still held his arm in her hand. He looked over at her, searching her face for any sign of disgust or hate. Nothing. Her eyes met his.

“So you still do those missions?” she asked.

“Yeah. They’re a little different now.”

Phoenix seemed interested in what he meant. So he continued telling her how he is chosen for the top missions because of his skill. She asked about his parents and for the first time ever, Erik explained the truth about them. His mother dying in prison. His father being a prince of Wakanda and being killed by his own brother. The more he talked about Wakanda, Phoenix became confused.

“Wait… I thought Wakanada was like a third world country.” she said.

“That’s what they tell the world, but it’s far from a third world country.”

Phoenix sat there quietly, looking off at nothing. She pulled herself away from him in thought. He took that as her hating him.

“I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you Phoenix.”

Her head snapped toward him. “It never crossed my mind that you would. I don’t think you’re a big, bad, scary person, E. Like you said, you did what you had to do.”

“Then why did you move over there?”

“Just thinking. I couldn’t imagine having to go through any of that. Here I am thinking my life was so shitty back in Detroit. Sure, it was bad but things could’ve been worse. You’re strong as fuck and honestly, I wish I had balls like you.”

A cheesy smile crept up on Erik’s face. “Nobody got balls like me.”

Phoenix looks at him with a straight face. “Wow. Here I am thinking we’re having a moment and you wanna talk about your balls.”

“You brought up my balls baby girl. I’ll gladly share them with you.”

“You know what I meant.” She said, hitting him in the chest.

“C’mere you little angry bird.” Erik pulls Phoenix back over to him. This time, he pulled her onto his lap. Sitting on him, she could feel his dick under his thin shorts. This man was blessed. He moved his body up, adjusting himself. He had to know exactly what he was doing. Staying up there would be dangerous. She needed to move herself. So she slid her body down to where she is now pinned between him and the arm of the chair. He legs are sitting on top of his. He gripped her thighs again. “You made me miss what happened so we have to start this episode over.” He picked up the remote, restarting the episode. Phoenix didn’t say anything. She couldn’t. The two of them continue watching Steven Universe like nothing ever happened. He wrapped his hand around her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

Phoenix had drifted off to sleep. Erik softly shook her awake.

“Philly. Wake up baby girl.”

Phoenix slowly wakes up, stretching. “How long was I sleep?”

“Not long. But it’s getting late. I’m gonna get out of her and let you rest.”

Phoenix lays back on his shoulder. “You’re really comfortable.”

Erik scoops Phoenix up in his arms. He picks her up, as he stands and setting her down carefully on her feet. They share a smile. She follows him to the door to let him out. When they approach the door, Erik turns around and snakes his hand around Phoenix’s waist, pulling her into a hug. She automatically wrapped both of her arms around his neck. She took in his presence, one last time. He pulled back, grabbing her chin. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on her cheek. Her body melted into his as laid her head against his chest. “Don’t forget to text me about your show tomorrow.” he spoke lowly in her ear. All Phoenix would do was nod her head. He opened the door, stepping out.

“Goodnight baby girl.”

“Night, E.”

Closing the door and locking it. Phoenix leaned back on the door. She wanted so bad to turn her head and catch his lips with hers. She fought against it. Her brain now ringing with the ‘what if’s’ if she did. She couldn’t do this to herself. She was going to bed.

[theboardwalkbody]

That’s me (in my nursing cap because it’s my most recent photo and capping ceremony was cancelled so I took pics in my house to send to nursing school buddies instead): Amanda - meme - Manda 28 NJ Tired AF And bored so I am answering this Ask Meme I found by @myautisticjournal​

What music have you discovered or listened to lately?

I’ve been listening to my Recently Added playlist on iTunes. Only “recently added” has been adjusted to include the last 28 months. lol But I did discover Blinding Lights by The Weeknd and that song’s been making me happy. Hurricane (Reimagined) by I Prevail has hit me in the Depress and next week The Used’s new album comes out so I’m waiting for that.

Have you made any new playlists since quarantine times? If they’re on Spotify, maybe drop a link?

I haven’t made any Quarantine Playlists because ALL my music is about being isolated and depressed anyway that like... what’s the difference? 

Make a three-song-minimum playlist of songs that make you happy!

Blinding Lights // The Weeknd (also makes me think of Data because I discovered it around the same time I started watching TNG so now they Go Together) Paradise Lost // The Used Dance Monkey // Tones and I

What’s your go-to show that you like to binge watch? Why do you like that show?

Currently its Star Trek TNG - because Data And One Day at a Time because that shit hits real. 

Are there any shows that you‘ve been planning to start watching? Why do they interest you?

It was just Star Trek and I did start watching. Interested because I wanted originally to watch ST Picard because Harry Treadaway but having never seen any ST before it didnt make sense (obvs) so I went back and started watching TNG. I didn’t want to start with the original series because honestly my attention span is garbage and I just was always curious about Data and so I started with him.

What movie(s) always comforts you?

Twister, Forrest Gump, The Lion King (1994). I’m currently wearing Lion King pjs lol. Pirate Radio is a relaxing feel good movie, too. 

Are you an arts-and-crafts person? If so, what types of art/craft do you enjoy?

I try SO HARD to be lol. So far during quarantine I’ve tried crochet, I’ve tried making string bracelets as if it was 2005 and I was in 8th grade again but I forgot how to make them and my brain refuses to re-learn its too full of music, nursing school, and data now. I tried coloring and lost patience. I have been working on a Quarantine Photo-Journal. Every day I post a tiny update and a few pictures (mostly memes since i cant leave the house and several Data photos lolololol) but my printer isn’t working right all of a sudden so I can’t print out any new pictures which I guess that one project I was really enjoying is out the window.

Do you have any planned projects to work on during self-isolation? If you’ve started any and you’re willing, share a photo of what you’re working on!

Here’s a pic of page like 3 or something lol

If you had to recommend an art or craft for people to get into, what would you recommend and why?

Man. Just do what makes you happy. I saw someone on TikTok making GIANT ass Worms on Strings and honestly. Pure genius. 

What are your favorite YouTube channels? Why do you like them?

Achievement Hunter. Rooster Teeth. Markiplier. They make the funny. Various ASMR channels. They make the sleep.

What is the weirdest YouTube video you’ve ever watched?

Conspiracy Theory videos probably. I don’t really know. 

Recommend a book or book series to read!

Across the Universe trilogy by Beth Revis read it and fangirl with me I am so alone.

Are there any books that you’ve read multiple times? If you could re-read a book that you loved as if it were the very first time, what book would you choose?

The Islander by Cynthia Rylant. I don’t know why but the first time I read it it just transported me into the middle of it and it was amazing (I was like 11) and it was so mysterious and everything. I’d like to read that one like the first time. Also Living Hell by Catherine Jinks did a similar thing 

What’s your favorite book genre? Why do you enjoy it?

Science Fiction. Because I like science. and Fiction and space and robots and things. 

If you were to write a fanfiction about your own life, how would it go?

LOL The tags would be like : #depression #anxiety #ptsd #childhood abuse #adulthood abuse #i miss having sex but at least i dont wanna die #except i still do #twsuicideideation #badluck #dontread lol

What’s the best fanfiction that you’ve ever read (or the top three if you can’t choose just one )? What about it made an impression on you?

My brain hurts too much to pick a top three but I will say I am currently reading May I by @ladyfogg​ and it’s been giving me the squishy feels and I am loving it and ya’ll should read it. Her OC is relatable and also inspiring and I think at this point I don’t need to mention Data anymore. (But I did). 

Do you listen to podcasts? What kind of podcasts do you listen to?

Off Topic podcast and used to listen to RT podcast when Burnie was still on. IDK what kind of podcast that is other than ‘usually wild’ 

If you could make your own podcast, what would it be about and who would you invite to make a guest appearance?

It would be about anything and everything. I’d invite anyone for an appearance lol

Are you addicted to Animal Crossing: New Horizons? If yes, what’s your favorite thing about it so far?

Yes. My favorite thing has to be CUBE. CUBE I LOVE CUBE. I WOULD DIE FOR CUBE.

If you had to recommend ONE video game, what would it be and why?

Cube. I mean, Animal Crossing. 

Have you tried any new recipes lately? If yes (and if they were good), share it with the class! I’m sure everyone is as bored with the same old foods as I am by this point.

I am too lazy to cook even when I want to so I always end up getting take out or delivery. 

What is your favorite website to waste time on? (Is it, perhaps, tumblr?)

Tumbebells. (Tumblr yes)

How are you finding ways to stay connected with your friends and family? From video calling to playing online games, what would you say has worked the best for you?

Nothing. I’m sitting here wallowing in deep loneliness and it’s killing me. It’s just my grandma and my cat and that’s why I can’t go out or work (I am a Patient Care Associate and I know the hospitals could use help but my grandma is 83 years old and it’s too high of a risk for her for me to be working in a hospital and coming home from there). 

If you have pets, first of all share some photos! Second, how have you been spending your time with them?

LOLA. L-O-L-A LOLA. LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LOLA She doesn’t leave me alone. Her new trick has been LAUNCHING her 7lb body on to my back while I’m standing and pretending she’s my goddamn backpack. And earlier today she decided to pull the socks out of my sock drawer. Because she loves me. 

Share your general quarantine experience so far. How are you handling it?

Bad. I often forget to take my meds, we’ve been on “spring break” from nursing school this week so I have 0 sense of time and no routine and I’ve sometimes been going to bed at 4am, sometimes 4pm, sleeping until like 9-11 regardless and I spend 95% of the day in bed. I can’t be bothered to change, sometimes can’t be bothered to really eat, and I care 0% about showering and Doing Anything. lol 

I mean it’s been great guys. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba I’m lovin’ it!

I did somehow loose 2lbs without trying tho. That’s a total of 7.8lbs lost since March. Only 125 more to go BUT THE GYM IS CLOSED AND IT HAS BEEN COLD AND RAINING.

I’ll shut up.

I tag @lyrslair​, @ladyfogg​ @datalaur​ and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it even tho its really long and I fucked up the layout so instead of 25 questions they’re ALL NUMBER 1. lol 

[knifekris]

PLEAS tell us about your au....... and i hope you'll feel better soon!! stay careful and dont get sick please 😔

im already sick anon im sorry 😔 HOWEVER…

[ QUICK DISCLAIMER this tyzias uses they/he pronouns which is slightly different from the standard they/them i use but its butch lesbian indulgence hours and im God. anyways. ]

[ALSO UNDER THE CUT BC THIS IS LONG]

lemme tell you about zizi “tyzias” strider

alright so the premise for this au is basically “dave still had bro as a guardian but tyzias’ baby meteor crashed on top of dirks and smushed him” so alpha dave goes “well fuck i guess i have a troll baby now”

when i was talking to my roommate about this they put the mental image in my head of like, alpha dave with one of those baby carriers with grub tyzias just on his chest while he was fighting the clowns on the white house and while that may not be canon its Really Fucking Funny to me and i hope i get around to drawing it

um um anyways dave wasnt about to assign an alien baby a gender so he kind of left some of his shit for them and some shit hed think rose would leave for a girl or w/e but for the most part just stuff he Thought Would Be Cool– basically what dirk got originally but w some more variety and probably less anime shit because i actually like tyzias . anyways. they still get lil cal bc i feel like thats probably narratively important and for the most part tyzias is just like “yeah thats my puppet lil cal he’s pretty neat i guess. anyways”. obviously theyre going to treasure anything and everything dave left for them bc theyre sappy like that and literally dont have anything else.

it took a couple years for tyzias to realize how different they are from their human friends and they have this really deep insecurity stemming from when they realized theyre not a human like their ‘dad’/’bro’ but a troll like the condesce and they dont know SHIT or FUCK about troll culture or physiology except for whats out there for them to find which isnt a lot. so they get this weird irrational fear that if theyre not careful theyre gonna end up violent and bloodthirsty like )(IC who is a person who hurt not only dave but also rose and is actively making theirs n roxys lives hell and its a lot of “im so different from everyone i know and its in an arguably bad way”. especially wrt molting and blood color n stuff they dont have any explanations for anything except “im different from my friends and its weird and i dont want them to know because then they might think im weird or even BAD for being a troll”

they work REALLY hard on not letting this insecurity get in the way of who they want to be for their friends– which is to say they want to be someone dependable and  a person to lean on and to look to for support. **!!blood player hours alert!!** tyzias feels responsible for the people around them (jane roxy jake) and wants to do what they can to ensure that they all stay safe and happy because other than a long-dead alpha dave these are the people that they have and thats really important to them.

i know theres no class or aspect doubling within the kids but i reaaaalllyyy wanna make them a seer of blood but might settle for mage. seer would help out wrt the game over bullshit because you have to think about where dirk was during the fight and why he wasnt IN it and why he didnt go with john and roxy to the new timeline and stuff. these are all things that make me wanna reread homestuck so i can get a cohesive thing going on. anyways.

dirks version of masculinity affected a LOT of stuff in homestuck and so did lil hal and with both of those things gone u gotta think about like. for example jake and how hes all gung-ho about being a Dude and Manly and the way he goes about exploring his gender kind of cluelessly. and i dont want to make tyzias more ‘woke’ than they necessarily WOULD be in their scenario but i like to think theyd get a decent grasp on what it meant to be a butch lesbian– or at least enough to find comfort and joy and happiness in it while learning more about it and themselves as they grow. the internet exists on earth b. im allowed.

anyways jake and tyzias are best friends and its the most wonderful dynamic thats come out of this thing (there are a lot of good dynamics. i have a lot of very specific self indulgent things going on in this au.)

[ tyzias noogying jake and saying “hey you fuckin’ nerd” while he yells “JEEPERS, ZIZI” ]

tyzias and jake get to talk about things like masculinity and what even is a gender in a post-apocalyptic wasteland/on a deserted island and i think esp with tyzias’ aversion to showing what they look like or sending pics jake would go about assuming that tyzias is his Dude Friend until one day they have a conversation where tyzias goes “no bro im a lesbian” and jake has this moment of like. “… :D well thats neat buddy”

anyways tyzias encourages jake to go out and explore the island in SAFE and HEALTHY ways and they voice call while hes out and about so they can sort-of hang out as best as you can across spacetime and its fun. they like talking about stories (usually movies and shows) together bc its their common interest. 

zizi is really into storytelling and writing which is kind of a mirror of dirk/dave being really into drawing while holding onto zizi’s interest in literature and history n stuff.

as for roxy i think itd be really neat if tyzias’ “what is gender in a post-apocalyptic wasteland” thing inspired them to think about themselves and what their gender is vs. janes and maybe (or definitely) they come out as nonbinary and jane gets to be confused by zizi and roxys “weird pronoun preferences”

shit there is SO MUCH to think about with this. fuck. send me more specific questions so i dont just get caught up in my brain with all this. theres so much.

[rint4rous]

meeting the parents: karmelle

(this is so long hhhh)

karma met the (step)mom first

he already sorta met her in the summer trip since she was one of the assassins in the hotel

but they properly met when he comes over anielle’s house after school

as anielle unlocks the door karmas ready for her little siblings running up to her and welcoming her home and saying hi to him

but to his surprise its a woman with her arms crossed thats there when they walk in

wowie ! its arime kiriya !

anielle seems unbothered and ignores that her mom looks mad as shes taking off her shoes

“didnt know youd be home today”

“daichi says you skipped training for a week again.”

“daichi says a lot of things especially about me, probably to stray you from the fact hes failing one of his classes”

theres a screech from the kitchen

“?!!???!! SHES LYING DONT LISTEN TO HER”

arime just sighs, shaking her head

meanwhile karmas standing there like …?? um ok

as hes taking his shoes off, arime notices him

“oh, the boyfriend.”

ani: um??? no??? hes not??? my boyfriend???

“this is karma,,,”

“is he staying for dinner??”

karmas kinda panicking and his Respecful Mode is ON

hes not really intimidated, she just seems like a ‘normal’ mom to him but at the same time ..

this .. arime kiriya might be a pro assassin but before that she’s still anielle’s mom

he doesn’t really care about first impressions

so he has no idea why hes worrying now

“i usually do, unless you don’t want me to??”

“oh no no i would have insisted you stay if you said no”

anielle grabs karmas wrist

“call us down when foods ready”

shes dragging him up the stairs

she lets go of his wrist when they got in her room and shes like

“yeah um,, thats my mom,, i didnt know she would be home”

“shes different from what i expected?? from the trip she seemed more intimidating”

“oh shes actually pretty nice ?? we get in playful arguments sometimes but yeah even though shes not always at home she tries her best”

dinner time !

anielle said they werent together but arime could tell that even tho they werent tgt yet there was something there

arime asks karma a few questions as they’re eating and when karma answers, his tone’s polite and tame

anielle notices this

she finds it a little amusing, but honestly cute more than anything

when karma goes home arime says

“he seems like a good kid. you like him?”

ani, blushing: ?!??!!?! n-no

arime: ok sure

after that karma sees arime whenever shes home

he usually comes over anielles house so

but on the times that ani doesnt come home with karma, arime invites him for dinner

he says yes every time

arime always refers to him as the boyfriend though

not your boyfriend, but THE boyfriend

“you gonna invite the boyfriend over?” “how’s the boyfriend?” “ask the boyfriend if he wants to eat dinner with us”

anielles like please stop calling him that (1) he isnt my bf and (2) even if he was it sounds so weird and lame

(when karmelle start officially dating though she refers to him as karma)

karma eventually gets comfortable that he drops the Timid Tone and starts talking like himself

arimes not shocked at the change

HHH she looked thru the poor kid’s records and looked him up after they met because she has to know abt him if hes gonna end up with her daughter so she knew abt his personality and was waiting for it to show

arime’s honestly amused by him but she likes him and still thinks hes a good kid

he gets invited to their training sometimes

and sometimes gets to spar with arime he almost beat her once

as for ani’s (birth) mom, karma goes with anielle to the cemetery whenever she asks for mental support because sometimes it gets a little too much for her

the first time he went was after the incident with shiro

anielle wasnt planning on bringing him, but he insisted

he couldnt leave her alone, not after the emotional torture shiro put her through

when she broke down in his arms, he knew coming with her was the best decision, even if she didnt like the idea at first

the dad .. he met him three months after arime

karma knew that he was in the ministry of defense and is friends with karasuma, but was dealing with things overseas

thats all he really knew, he was expecting someone like karasuma

karma and ani were just playing a game tgt

then they hear the doorknob rattling ?!??!?!

out of instinct, anielle grabs the gun she keeps under the sofa hjgfhjksd

shes walking slowly towards the door gun in hand

the door opens

“i swear to god yuto i told you to stop doing that.. stop trying to scare the kids and open the door anielles gonna accidentally shoot you one of these days” arime scolds him as they walk in

yuto just laughs

anielle drops the gun and runs to hug her dad,, she hasnt seen him in months

“see! she had a damn gun ready!” arime sighs, pulling their luggage in

she sees karma “oh hi karma!! how you been?”

“good,,”

“so you’re karma? are you gonna join us for lunch?”

karmas like this is like meeting arime all over again

man he never thought his Respectful and Polite Mode would make a comeback but here he is

HHH karma: no fear

yuto: hi

karma: one fear

“yes sir”

anielles trying so hard not to laugh,, she cant believe karma just called her dad SIR HRKHHKJJKH

she and arime are silently snickering together while karma sits there as yuto studies him

“i’ll go start making the food,,” arime heads to the kitchen

“elly, go help your mom”

karma and anielle knew it was to get karma alone with him,, ani doesnt argue and goes to the kitchen

“arime and karasuma told me a lot about you.”

“oh”

yuto asks karma questions, but they arent Extra ykno

hes not Overly Protective, but hes more protective of ani because out of the two oldest, he knows anielle was affected by their mothers death most and took longest to get over it

he just wants to get to know karma

after arime karma was expecting the dad to be like her except more strict and intimidating but

for arime, it took two months for him to drop the timid tone

for yuto, it took an hour

hes still answering politely, but now hes including some snarky remarks as a joke and is talking in his usual tone

arime calls them for lunch

they all talk while eating and karma could tell the dad likes him too

hes just happy he got both of anis parents to like him

anielle met karmas parents like two weeks after graduation,, meaning karmelle are tgt now

she decided to tag along when karma went to the airport when they were coming back from a trip

he said they were coming back for a bit to spend time with him and to congratulate him for graduating

anielle didnt really know what to expect

shes looking at her phone when she hears a “karma!!!!”

she looks up and sees a woman waving at karma and a man beside her

as they’re approaching, his mom notices anielle beside him

“oh you came with... your girlfriend?”

“hi, i’m anielle!” ani greets. “i hope i’m not being a bother by being here?”

“not at all! i didn’t know our karma had a girlfriend?? since when??”

“we haven’t been together for long, but we met during our second year,,”

his mom turns to karma, “you dont tell your folks anything nowadays”

karma just shrugs

anielle shares brief greetings and conversations with his dad, the mom talks more

they dropped off their things and anielle stays for an hour and leaves so they can settle in

she gets invited to eat out with them the next day

(bruh all of these involve eatinf i am so original)

she gets to really talk with his parents

karmas mom jokes around like “our problem child managed to get himself a girl!!! he’s a real handful, isn’t he?”

anielle laughs it off, “hes tiring to deal with sometimes, but i manage. you learn to have patience with him”

karma: Bruh

ani came over sometimes, and she got to know the parents better (and vice versa, they just dont know shes a hitman)

they really like her, she keeps karma in check and they think she brings out the best in him,, shes reckless and chaotic just like karma but if she needs to, shes able to stop karma from doing stupid things and he actually listens so

his parents arent the kind that are like “wanna see karmas baby pics” to embarass him hes thankful

after a month they leave again

ani got their numbers, and the mom texts her from time to time to check up on karma (and her !!)

(karma doesnt know this)

[angelicrome]

temper ✦ c.h

(yo this gif is perfect for this, man. so great what a special creature.)

idea: look at this y’all, isn’t he adorable cute pic of cal

requests are open, any fandom - here’s my masterlist :))

pairing: calum hood x reader

warning: no i dont think so. just read it, i’m dying, the part 2 is gonna be great. 

author’s note: sooooo.... part 2 is gonna be released as soon as possible because y’all deserve that. Also, longer author’s note in the end, because i think we all need that, right. AND the story is better than the title, remember that.  

description: being unhappy in love with bestfriend!calum and wanting to tell him so badly, but there’s always something in the way - until one night where everything is just so right and yet so wrong. 

“No, I don’t feel like going out right now.” You mumbled, looking at your clock. It was almost nine, and there were four boys, standing around you, begging you to go to a stupid party with them.

“Please, Y/N, you know it’s just gonna be boring at home and you’re gonna regret it-“ Luke began a whole speech about how you only live life once and how you should take chances.

“We’ll even give you time to get ready,” Michael said, not even letting Luke finish but it didn’t matter because he just kept talking and Michael was talking and soon Ashton blurted out how he was actually going to pay you if you went to that stupid party.

“I don’t want to.” You shouted and stood up from the broken kitchen chair. You were still in your pyjamas and honestly felt disgusting to even be awake. You just wanted to go back to bed, even though you got up three hours ago. You took the dirty dishes to the sink. The boys had been at your house for a whole week, trying to comfort you. They didn’t really help.

It wasn’t a break-up. It wasn’t something you could talk about - at least to the boys.

It was love. Unhappy love. That kind of love where you’re in love with someone, but they’re in love with someone else. It’s that kind of love that makes you go to a kind of sad and dark place where you just need a couple days of crying and sleeping.

Ashton knew. You didn’t tell him, he actually figured it out on his own. He said it was the way you looked at Calum when he told you he had gotten an official girlfriend - and that he loved her, so so much. Thinking about it made you sigh so powerfully that it stopped the annoying persuasion.

“Okay, guess we lost you on this one, too.” Ashton acknowledged and patted Luke on the shoulder, to make him turn around but also to say “we tried our best again, she’s not coming” and turned around to walk out of the house.

You followed them to the door. You grinned when Michael started to fake-cry when he said goodbye to you. Luke fake-comforted him, so you knew he was going to be fake-alright. Ashton nodded to you as a small “you’ll be okay, darling” and you smiled, an overly happy and forged smile.

Calum then turned to you. He hadn’t really said anything, at all. Not during dinner, not during the persuasion. But he pulled you into a big bear hug and you couldn’t help but bury your face down in his neck. The smell of him, the touch of him made your heart race and you were almost scared he could feel your heart pumping through your thick hoodie and his jacket. He pulled away and gave you the best-begging face he could think of.

“Y/N, I think you really need this.” The sweet, coffee brown eyes drilled into yours and his red lips were pulled into a wide smile. “You know I want you there to protect me.”

“From what? Kidnappers?” You snapped and crossed your arms. 

“Calum! You coming?” The car outside honked five times as Calum stuck his head out to yell at the boys.

“In a minute! You just go, we’ll take the Y/N’s car.”

A huge sigh escaped your lips as you turned around to just walk away from that boy who pretty much just forced you to go. You didn’t walk away because you were mad, you walked away because you knew he was going to convince you with just an innocent smirk.

“Hey, Y/N.” Calum grabbed your arm and turned you around. You were met by his precious smile and rosy cheeks. “I know this isn’t ideal, but I also know you’ll do anything for me.”

Ouch. That hurt because it was the truth. And it made you wonder; did he know you were dying to kiss him every time he was close? And exactly as you thought about that, he pulled you close into another hug and you died inside - again.

“Now, you’re gonna go up, take a shower, put some clothes on, I don’t care if it’s pyjamas or if it’s a prom dress. You’ll look good in whatever.”

He kissed your forehead and send you upstairs with small encouragements.

Fuck Calum, you thought as you were standing in the shower.

He can’t just say things like that and expect you to just nod and go with him without feeling annoyed or in love. Or both, in your case.

You didn’t even bother to put on makeup. Black pants, an oversized t-shirt and a leather jacket. You could wear a pair of heels to make it look like you put a little effort in the look, even though the shirt was also the shirt you had slept in three nights ago.

“Hey, look at that hot chick!” Calum exclaimed when he saw you hurrying down the stairs. He put his phone in his pocket. “And it only took 20 minutes!”

“Shut.” You nagged and put on some black heels. Your hair was already falling down from the braided knot you had put it up in.

“A’ight, ready to go?”

“I hate you for this.” You snarled as you took your car keys, ripped the door open and dragged your feet to the small blue car you had owned for 6 years now.

“I can drive,” Calum said, trying to follow your pace and smacked the door locked behind him. You threw the keys to him and got in the car. When he came in, he rolled his eyes at you. The motor purred and you laid your head against the window, as Calum turned on the radio. He kept changing stations as he didn’t seem to find the right music for the vibe in the car. It ended with him turning the radio completely off.

“Okay, so I’m sorry I pretty much forced you to go. But I just thought that it was important and you could use a couple of drinks.” Calum started apologizing, even though he hadn’t really done something that was awful. He had just persuaded you into going out even though you weren’t in the mood. “I just… I really want to know what’s been bugging you lately.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Really? Because most of the times, it seems like you don’t care.”

“I care, of course, I care!” He almost sounded offended as his hands clenched around the steering wheel. “You’re my best friend and I love you.”

Your heart skipped a beat. It wasn’t like you didn’t know that he loved you. He just didn’t say it often. Not like Ashton who would say it every chance he got or Luke who would always yell it to you during his drunk blackouts. It was different with Calum. You had known the band for a long time, but you had known Calum your whole life. You were neighbours when you were kids. He was even your first kiss. You were his first crush. You had rejected him when you were 16. After that, it was kind of awkward and you didn’t really talk, but time heals all wounds. But about two years ago, an urge to be with Calum all the time and a desire to kiss him every time you saw him occurred. It hurt, but you learned to live with it. You just had to bury it and not talk to anyone about it.

“Just tell me already, Y/N. I’m… worried, okay.” You didn’t answer. You just kept looking out of the window, ignoring him. "Alright, if you don't wanna talk to your best friend, you best friend might not wanna talk to you." It sounded rather childish, so you just gushed and kept ignoring him. What would happen if you told him? Would you find a solution together or would it just be awkward again? The last option seemed the most realistic and it hurt even thinking about it.

30 minutes went by.

“We’re here.” Calum parked the car, 500 meters from the actual club where the party was held. You looked at him and saw how pale he was. His hands were clenched, veins were popping and his mouth was just a small line.

You got out of the car and together you walked in silently to the club. The banging music was loud even though you just stood right outside the club.

“Let me just walk us in.” Getting into private celeb parties was a whole thing, but when Calum stood on the guest list it wasn’t even hard to get in. He would just say his name, hold his hand around my hip and we’d get in easily and quickly.

You could barely hear what song they were playing. It was all just loud EDM noise to you.

Calum walked away from you as soon as you were in. He was probably still mad. You rolled your eyes and went to the bar as a Kanye West song started playing.

“Two shots of tequila.” You yelled at the bartender and two shots were immediately put in front of you. “Put it on Ashton Irwin’s bill.”

The bartender nodded and you drowned the two burning drinks in you. “Another shot!” You yelled and before you knew it you had downed to more shots.

“Hey, Y/N, you ok?” You twisted your face to your left to see a tall Luke Hemmings. He seemed taller than usual.

“Let’s dance!” You commanded and pulled him out on the dance floor. Luke was not a good dancer and a lot of the times you would just stand there laughing at him. But sometimes you would pull him close and dance with him, move your bodies in the same speed, the same movement. His face was flustered, cheeks were red and you pulled your face close to his, noses touching.

“I’m in love with Calum.” You whispered too quietly in his ear, closing your eyes before making the move on Luke.

He pulled away with a surprise. “What? What’s going on here?”

You wiped the sweat away from your head and stepped back, starring Luke straight in the eye before turning around on your heel. Strangers were consuming you, jumping around you, but Luke caught up with you and stared at you with mouth wide open.

“You’re in love with Calum?”

“He has a girlfriend!” You shrugged and kept moving your body to the rhythm, as he giggled a little, looking around.

“Jesus…” He hid his face in his hands before looking up again. “They broke up, you asshole. Yesterday! He didn’t tell you?”

Bum. The music didn’t seem that loud anymore. Your body wasn’t moving happily to the rhythm and your eyes weren’t focused on Luke. They were searching around the room for Calum, the guy who scolded you for not telling him what was wrong but in reality did the exact same thing.

“I need another shot.” You muttered and made your way to the bar. Thoughts were going around in your head. He said he loved her, why did they break up? Did she cheat? Did he cheat? Or… is he just in love with someone else? The thought startled you because that didn’t make any sense, he would have told you then. You laid your arms on the bar counter and smiled at the bartender.

“Three shots of the strongest liquor, sir!” You yelled and soon three shots were in front of you and you enjoyed the warm feeling through your body. You took two before letting out a sigh of relief. You were just about to take the third as a well-known hand came beforehand and Calum downed the shot right before your eyes and looked you straight in the eye. The flashing light was reflecting in his dark eyes as bit his bottom lip.

“We need to talk.”

“Yeah, I think we do, too.”

longer author’s note: so i haven’t really written anything for a v long time, so this is not the best i’ve done (but defiently not the worst either, just read some of the early work yikes). i really want to keep writing when the inspiration strikes, but it i don’t know if i’ll write all requests nor do i know if i even am gonna write that much, let’s see where it goes.

 i hope y’all are doing well, you can always just talk to me if you are in need of a friend and i hope you liked this lil piece of work here. 

request here - any fandom will do :)

masterlist here

:)) 

[kae-karo]

Katie I’m about to fly completely on my own for the first time this Friday and I’m pretty anxious about it. Do you have any advise you could give me about flying/the airport/packing/anything really? Thank you in advance :S x

hi b! ooooookay wow finally the 38 flights i went on last year will come in handy!

packing:

okay traveling by yourself if you’ve never done it before won’t necessarily impact your packing - just be sure that if you have a small carry-on bag that you don’t have any liquids over 2.5oz and remember that like. if you forget something, a lot of hotels (if that’s where you’re staying) will have stuff you can use for free, just ask them. worst case they usually have some stuff you can buy but most places are like really nice. if you’re staying with friends/family, just ask if you forgot something!

most people usually do like a carry-on bag and a checked bag, but just do whatever you normally do, and then make sure your carry-on has your id/passport, your phone, a charger for said phone, your wallet, any meds you have or anything you can’t go for the entire flight without, and then something to do on the plane (book, game, laptop, tablet, etc)

my necessities: phone, wallet, passport if i’m going international, keys cause i usually have to get back in my house after lmao, laptop, chargers for laptop and phone, a portable charger, headphones

here’s the hard tip: acknowledge that you probably will forget something. i literally travel almost every month of the year and i forget one thing every time. but it’s gonna be okay. as long as you have your id/passport/wallet and phone, things will be okay

before you travel:

okay so i have the apps for like all the major airlines and i usually try to check myself in right when i’m allowed to (24hr before). if you’re on southwest, set yourself a reminder so you can check in exactly 24hr before the flight and make sure you get a decent boarding number cause they do it on first come first serve

otherwise, just check in and save a screenshot of your boarding pass to your phone. i usually just do everything with the boarding pass in the app or saved to my photos but you can get a paper copy at the airport as well, and don’t stress if you lose it or w.e once you’re past security cause the gate attendants can print a new one (or you can just use the mobile)

oh the other thing here is you can sometimes choose a different seat whilst checking in? so if you see the one that’s assigned to you and you Don’t Like It, see if any others are available that you might prefer. i always go for the closest aisle seat to the front when traveling alone

and ofc you’ll want to make sure you have some kind of plan for once you arrive at your destination for how you’ll be getting wherever you’re going - taxi, uber, ride from friend/fam, public transport, whatever, just kind of have an idea what you need to do so you’re not stressing once you land

this one is one that doesn’t apply to me, but definitely something to check and look into if needed: if you have any special requirements or needs whilst in the airport or flying, ie wheelchairs or special accommodations or w.e, make sure you know what you have to do when you arrive

leaving for the airport:

okay first and foremost, depending on your airport, you’ll want to be sure you arrive at least 1.5hr early (this is like my personal rule of thumb bc i usually fly in and out of moderately large airports and i have Massive Paranoia about traveling for some reason?? even though i take like 12+ trips a year? but most places require no less than 40ish minutes ahead of time, that’s like super tight though i do Not recommend) - keep in mind like. traffic and stuff, if you’re going to the airport during rush hour or w.e make time for that

if you’re not familiar with your airport and like getting in (bc there’s usually a massive amount of like exits and ‘turn here for this’ sort of things) talk to someone who is familiar with it or like. google maps it ahead of time and street view walk yourself through it, whatever you need to do to feel comfy so if you’re the one driving, you know where to go to park/etc. if you’re ubering or having someone drop you off, just be sure you know which airline you’re on as they’ll drop you off in the right place

checking in:

okay if you’re already checked in and you don’t have a checked bag, you can head straight to security, but if you do need to check your bag, use the kiosks they’re always faster and you don’t have to wait in line. it’s pretty self-explanatory, usually, just enter the identifying info and it’ll probably note that you’re already checked in and just say you have a bag to check. you can also print a physical boarding pass here if you want. the kiosk will print out your luggage tag and just follow the instructions to attach it to the bag. there’ll be like a drop off point (they’re usually p well-labeled) up by the actual people at desks so just head up there and have your id/passport and boarding pass ready cause they’ll want to check them

security:

okay 9 times out of 10 you probably will Not have tsa precheck but if you do, it’ll be somewhere on your boarding pass and you should look for/ask someone about the nearest tsa precheck line. it’s just convenient, cause you don’t have to remove laptops or take your shoes off and it’s usually the shortest line

if you don’t have tsa precheck, just find the nearest (and shortest) security line and have your id and boarding pass ready. if you’re using a mobile boarding pass, lock your screen rotation if you’ll be using the picture you took instead of the app (this is the most annoying thing lmao i’ve done it too many times and usually just try to use the app when i can cause it’ll lock the rotation and go full brightness automatically). then you’ll have to put the phone on the lil scanner and it’ll beep when it’s scanned and done

now, again, if you have any special needs whilst going through security, you’re probably familiar with what you’d have to do if it differs from the standard procedure, but otherwise just go through as you normally would

between security and boarding:

do whatever u want basically. get food, if you need it or if you think you’ll need it whilst on the flight. drinks are usually hella expensive so i try to bring my refillable water bottle (empty!) and then refill once i’m past security

basically how you spend this time is totally up to you. i usually grab food as needed then go chill by my gate, if it’s an airport i’m familiar with and i know how long it’ll take to get wherever i need to go, but you may be more comfy just finding your gate first and then sticking nearby to get anything you need. also i’m a big fan of the charging areas which a lot of airports have now, so if u wanna charge up i recommend

boarding:

every airline is different but there’ll usually be some kind of boarding group or order listed on your boarding pass, so just keep that in mind (ie american has like,,,,6 boarding groups? united has 9, southwest has their whole a/b/c groups, etc etc etc i think one even has like a 2a 2b or something idk that might’ve been in the uk but just look on your boarding pass) if you’re confused or w.e don’t be afraid to ask one of the gate attendants that stand at the front

basically nothing here is all that different if you’re alone, just pay attention when they start boarding and listen for your group, same rule of thumb goes with turning your phone on screen-rotation lock when you go to scan your boarding pass (if it’s the mobile pic you saved)

the goal here with boarding is to go as quickly as you can, but don’t stress if it takes you a second to get in your row! it’s okay, people aren’t as in a rush as they seem. definitely try to fit ur stuff under your seat cause otherwise it’s a pain to get up and get it from the overhead bins

the flight:

honestly just sit back relax and do whatever u normally do! usually there’s no reason this would be any different when traveling alone. aside from sitting near strangers which is annoying sometimes but in my experience if u pop some headphones in everyone leaves u alone

after the flight:

i mean generally just head out into the airport u landed in and look for baggage claim signs - regardless of whether u checked a bag or not, most ground transport out of the airport is near the baggage claim. so just follow signs (and generally the people leaving the plane) and make your way there. if you get lost, again, don’t feel bad abt asking someone to point you in the right direction

if u have a bag, most places have a display board that says which baggage claim you’re at (if they didn’t announce it on the plane when you landed) and you can wait there

once ur done, depending on your mode of transport out, you can follow signs! many of the bigger airports now have designated sections for rideshares like uber and lyft as well 

i hope that helps b! you’ll be fine, don’t stress too much :) i hope you’re traveling for a good/fun reason at least!

[angelixii]

1-140 (anything you haven't answered already) - Felix

Oh, hello! Thanks for the ask!! 💕

3 fears - Spiders (I get frightened when I think about them) heights (slightly) and the public (anything like murder, kidnapped, ya know stupid people)

 3 Things I love - Music, Idols, and animals

 2 Turns on - ig Hats (like snapbacks) and glasses

 2 Turns off - oof I don’t really know.. ig self absorbed or a fudge boy

 My best friend - C: @straykids-sk (wuv you)

 How tall am I - 5′2

 What do I miss right now - My cat that passed away :c (her name was P.J)

 Favourite color - Blue, red, and sometimes green

 Do I have a crush - no not really

 Favourite place - my home

 What am I listening to right now - theres a website called asoftmurmur.com and it has noises like rain or waves and stuff like that

 Shoe size - pretty sure 10 in US womens

 Eye color - brown

 Hair color - light-ish brown

 Meaning behind my URL - I chose Felix cause hes my bias wrecker and hes angelic C:

 Favourite song - Theres like a million but 5SOS’s She Looks So Perfect wil always be a favorite (idk why)

 Favourite band - Ill just chose Stray Kids cause I don’t wanna write them all out

 How I feel right now - kinda tired but ig ok

 Someone I love - Ill say my best fren Georgia (@straykids-sk) cause i wuv her

 My current relationship status - single and i kinda wanna stay that way for a while

  My relationship with my parents - We all live in the same house and its just us (I have one other sister but she moved out. But shes here a lot tho) and we all get along well

 Favorite season - probably Spring c:

 Tattoos and piercing I have - none and I don’t really want any

 Tattoos and piercing I want - ^^^

The reasons I joined Tumblr - Georgia wanted me to and I thought it would be fun (I was right c:)

 Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - no :/

 Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - oh heel no she my best fren I would never

 How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - when I have school like 20 minutes at max

 Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? - I did today

 Where am I right now? - at my house on my laptop c:

 Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - reasonable level cause I’ve always had ear problems and they are sensitive (even tho I always have my earbuds in)

 Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - yup

 Am I excited for anything? - not that I can think of no

 Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - nope :/

 How often do I wear a fake smile? - not THAT often

 If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - oooof I don’t think I could answer that question

 What do I think about most? - probably k-pop

 Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Definitely behind

 What was the last lie I told? - It was kinda a joke but “i’ll do it because im the good child”

 Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Eh depends on who it is but facetiming/video chatting

 Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - ghosts kinda and aliens, I mean sure we’ve barely discovered space, who knows whats out there

 Do I believe in magic? - sometimes yeah

 Do I believe in luck? - I mean yeah

 What’s the weather like right now?- theres nothing really going on

 What was the last book I’ve read? - uhhhhhh fully on my own (not in class)? The Maze Runner Scorch Trials

 Do I have any nicknames? - Kassadoodle, Kassidilla, Kassy

 Do I spend money or save it? - I’m trying to save as much as I can rn in my little money jar c:

 Can I touch my nose with a tounge? - nah

 Favourite animal? - Lions and Fennec Foxes

 What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - uhhh im pretty sure saying goodbye to Georgia on video chat

 What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - oo um I cant really think of one rn :/

 What is my favorite word? - yeet

 My top 5 blogs on tumblr (not in any order)

@honeylixs

@zoxsu

@tinyfigureskater

@stray-kids-dork

@straykidsmate

 If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - I probably wouldn’t say anything cause im shy and afraid people would judge me on what I say c:

 Do I have any relatives in jail? -not that I know of

What is my current desktop picture? - a pic of Bts

Had sex? Bought condoms? Gotten pregnant? Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Had job? Smoked weed? Smoked cigarettes? Drank alcohol?

no to ALL those questions C:

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - nope don’t think I could ever

Been overweight? - …

Been underweight? - no.

Gotten my heart broken? - nah

Been to prom? - nope

Been in airplane? - nope and I never want to really

Learned another language? - I take required (cause im one of the more intelligent kids in school. I know shocker right?) Spanish classes in school but im on summer break so I dont remember any c:

Wore make up?- nope

Dyed my hair? - nope

Had a surgery? - plenty of ear surgery and had my tonsils removed

Met someone famous? - nope

Stalked someone on a social network? - nope

Been fishing? - no but my dad has always wanted to take me and it sounds kinda fun

Been rejected by a crush? - nope never really had one and if I did I would never have the guts

What do I want for birthday? - ooo idk but i have to wait till next year anyway cause its already passed

Do I like my handwriting? - sometimes when my hand cooperates

Where do I want to live when older? - with my girl Georgia

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? - nope ima good child (yeah ok suuureee)

What I’m really bad at - running :/

What my greatest achievments are - managing to keep straight A’s and I dont even study cause im online so

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me - “u bird cage” - Georgia c;

What I’d do if I won in a lottery - ooooooooof idk

What do I like about myself - uhhhhh heh ig my hair or eyes/eyelashes

My closest Tumblr friend - Georgia (yes I do know her irl but shes honestly the closet tumblr friend I have so)

Any question you’d like? - hmm idk

Are you outgoing or shy? - definitely shy, unless with people im close to then quite crazy

What kind of people are you attracted to? - funny, cute and nice people

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? - hA no

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? - kinda

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? - oof idk

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “ohhhh no XDD” (sent to Georgia)

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? - (I already answered this question and don’t wanna answer again)

Do you like it when people play with your hair? - yes I love when freinds at school did (once we were watching a movie in Spanish and my friend next to me was playing with my hair and I almost fell asleep heh)

Do you think there is life on other planets? - totally

Do you like bubble baths? - I haven’t had one in forever

Do you like your neighbors? - only one cause I think im related to them somehow or they are to like my uncle

Where would you like to travel? - out of this hell hole country c:

Favorite part of your daily routine? - checking my tumblr and stanning talent

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? - stomach

What do you do when you wake up? - check my notifications on my phone

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? - I wish it was more tan than it is (im quite pale)

Do you ever want to get married? - yeah

If your hair long enough for a pony tail? - yes but I hate pony tails so I never do it (I used to all the time as a kid)

Would you rather live without TV or music? - I rarely watch t.v anymore and listen to music almost all day so

Have you ever liked someone and never told them? - I mean yeah

What are your favorite stores to shop in? - I dont really have one for clothes but I do like Walmart

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? - I mean sometimes

Do you smile at strangers? - If the smile at me first yeah

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? - not that I can remember no

Ever wished you were someone else? - no (as much as I hate myself no)

Favorite makeup brand? - son;t wear any so I dont got one

Last thing you ate? - a Reese cup

Ever won a competition? For what? - not a big one I can remeber no

Ever been in love? - c:

Facebook or Twitter? - dont have a fb and i barely use twitter anymore but twitter

Twitter or Tumblr? - DEFINITELy tumblr

Are you watching tv right now? - i mean its always on for bg noise and light so ig so

What color are your towels? - all kinds of colors

Favorite ice cream flavor? - either Strawberry with out the strawberries or cookie dough

First person you talked to today? - my mom

Last person you talked to today? - Georgia

Name a person you hate? - C: theres too many

Name a person you love? - once again, theres too many

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? - C: theres too many

Do you tan a lot? - I barely go outside so thats a no

Have any pets? - too many

Do you type fast? - I mean kinda yeah

Do you regret anything from your past? - everything XD

Ever broken someone’s heart? - I highly doubt it

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? - C:

Is cheating ever okay? - hell no

Do you believe in true love? - I mean sure

What your zodiac sign? - Pisces

Do you believe in ghosts? - why is this question on here twice?

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou) - “…but not at all overwhelming, the balance of the different fragrances was subtle and flawless.” Twilight - Breaking Dawn (Do NOt ask me why thats the closest book its not mine and ive never read it and i NEVER plan on it)

oof that took like two hours heh.. its now currently 2:18am. and im very tired

but thanks for the ask anyway love! Im sorry for the wait! I was busy today. But im probably going to go to bed now

[i-want-to-be-manhandled]

more trans ramblings (tramblings?) - to T or not to T, that is the question

so i’m writing this so i have some thoughts to show my therapist next week instead of scouring my brain for them but im posting it on the internet instead of keeping it in a word document or some shit cause i need some of y’all to relate and i’m already way too personal on here anyways. and also at this point this is my personal blog too, i’ve given up entirely on keeping it just for video games. tl;dr: please tell me i am not the only one with stupid amounts of doubt going against the stupid amounts of evidence that i am very transgender. 

tw: long post, doubts, testosterone/hrt effects discussed in detail, (don’t read this if you know me irl and haven’t personally talked with me about being trans? otherwise go ahead), nsfw cause we’re talking about genitals but mostly towards the end of the second to last paragraph (i’ll strike the nsfw stuff), mention of rape but no discussion of it happening, lemme know if i missed anything

so as my last transpost said im very excited for my hysto that im nowhere near getting but im flip-flopping as to whether or not i want to go on t. i know i can get it fairly quickly if i decide i do want it. there’s a trans health clinic in walking distance from where i am moving in 23 days, i have 3 therapists who will write me a letter of recommendation for testosterone, and my mother even found me the trans health clinic so she’ll try to find me somewhere else to go if they don’t take me in for some reason. (having a supportive mom is great i don’t miss her crying about how hard it is to have a trans kid in january and february.) and i’ve looked thoroughly at the effects of testosterone and have sorted them into pros, neutrals, and cons. (posting it here again mostly bc i need to do it but i also need some of yall to relate and/or validate me and/or answer my weird questions)

pros:

voice drop. im so tired of having a squeaky voice which is exacerbated by me always being anxious, and my sister has a deeper voice than me and always tries to sing ridiculously low parts to stretch it for some reason which makes me feel insecure. and apparently my voice is “always squeaky” according to my dad and like? shit man i pass until i talk that’s just the tea. 

i dont even care if i have a super deep voice, i actually think i’d rather be a solid tenor because that’s the vocal range of most of my favorite songs, but i want to sound like a man when i talk and not an 8 year old girl

side note apparently a lot of trans guys have male “internal voices” but mine just sounds like how i sound when i talk because i’m a very literal person and that’s why it took me forever to figure out i was trans and not having a male internal voice makes me dysphoric sometimes and even doubt that i’m trans at all... that’s dumb af i know it’s just my literal personality type not me actually being a girl

more muscle. i dont work out as it is right now but if i knew i’d see results the way i want them then i probably would. also im getting ripped during the school year anyways bc i walk everywhere with a 15-20 pound backpack strapped to me so i’m at least gonna look semi muscular which is what i want anyways. please give me strength quite literally i can barely lift bro

bottom growth. ik it’s still not going to be ~enough~ or whatever but i’d have... something? that would be nice. 

side note would packers start to be uncomfortable with something there bc i wonder about that sometimes. not that mine is super uncomfortable now or anything (i just haven’t figured out how to make it sit right) but i wonder about that

NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS

if im one of those guys whose periods dont stop on t i am actually going to perform a hysto on myself

fat shifting from hips, thighs and butt to my stomach. i don’t care if i have stomach chub or not, but i DO care that my hips are Like That and my things are Really Girly and i have a fucking Girl Butt TM like please just let me Not Have These Problems

having a more angular face. doesn’t happen to everyone per se but because of my facial structure as it is and also what my dad looked like when he was my age, i probably will get this change. i have actively wished for this since i was 13 and didn’t even know dysphoria was a word. hopefully it makes my lips a little thinner too or at least more masculine.

veins becoming more prominent. i have this one pic of me where it looks like i have Guy Arms and i just wanna look like that all the time ya know

lookin like a dude and passing? that counts right

neutrals:

facial hair. i know a lot of trans guys want this but i’ve never wanted one. i just want a jawline to cut a bitch tbh i’m never having more than stubble except the beard imma wear to my high school reunion

body hair. this is more of a pro-neutral ig bc i want it on my arms and legs but would prefer not to have a lot on my chest and stomach. fortunately i dont think my dad has a whole lot but i’m a pretty hairy afab person as it is i just dont wanna be a werewolf lmao

hair loss at temples. i just don’t care about my hairline enough for this to really bother me. maybe i will when it happens but *shrug*

scents of sweat/bo/urine changing? idk i feel like it will be weird, maybe gross if it turns out bad but honestly i don’t really care what i smell like as long as i don’t smell like a dumpster fire? i shower it’s fine lmao

rougher skin? i dont know if i’d like having rougher skin but i also dont like being an uwu soft boi so

acne. nobody wants it but like... i already have stress-acne right now and don’t really give a shit because i hate how my face looks anyways. not that i want a fuckton of acne because nobody does but im not gonna cry myself to sleep over it ya feel? it’s an annoyance but not really a con

cons:

increase in sex drive. not to be nsfw but masturbating is a chore as it is. it hasn’t been fun since i realized i had crippling bottom dysphoria and even then i can’t get off unless i’m completely distracted from my body (either through porn or being too tired to care). also i have like a 2% chance of ever having a partner so i really dont wanna have to deal with having the sex drive of a 12 year old boy when im 19, single, depressed, and dysphoric. im not even asexual but this is the worst con

emotional changes. yall know at this point i dont have the best temper, and i dont want t to exacerbate that. now, some of my friends have said that t has made them much calmer and actually less irritable, but the rest of my friends said t makes them angry. i have poor anger management and i know it. i don’t need it made worse. it’ll fuck my life up for real

increase in appetite. listen i have gastritis, ibs and acid reflux i cannot afford to be needing to eat more than i currently do

so as yall can see i have a fair number of all 3: 8 pros, 6 neutrals, and 3 cons. and what’s more, all of the cons are things that don’t have anything to do with my appearance (which my therapist and i noticed during our session a couple weeks ago and really made me think i should go on t). so then the answer should be clear: i should go on t, right? deal with having a fucked high sex drive and be pissed off because of it but finally be able to see my reflection in the mirror. so it should be obvious. what the hell am i waiting for?

the main reason i’m hesitant is i’m afraid i’ll want to detransition. even though i KNOW it rarely happens and the women who do thought they were trans because of unaddressed traumas relating to being female or have a personality disorder. i have neither of those things: the only female-related trauma i have is being slut shamed by my mom for wearing tank tops and any shirt that wasn’t a crew neck and one guy saying he’d rape me in 9th grade because he thought rape and sex were the same thing (for his sake i hope he’s grown the fuck up!! i’m not traumatized from this i just made my teacher not let him sit next to me in class and told him to stop talking to me. sadly this is the most sexual attention i’ve ever gotten), and the only mental illnesses i have are depression and anxiety (unless we’re counting dysphoria, which i definitely have). i also sometimes feel like i discovered it too late: i didn’t say “i’m not a girl” until i was 14, refused to explore my gender until i was 17, and didn’t fully accept i was trans until i was 18. and other dumb shit: i never tried to pee standing up so im not really trans even though i didn’t know what a penis was until i was like 9, ive caught myself twice recently wishing for longer hair which made me feel feminine and gross and dysphoric (even though i know hair length =/= gender??), and im not in danger of suicide if i don’t get testosterone and top surgery RiGhT nOw. the prospect of me detransitioning isn’t likely, when you look at all the facts, but the prospect makes me anxious because everything makes me anxious. i am the poster boy for anxiety. and yes, i know i would have said that even when i accepted that i was technically the poster girl but i would have said poster boy anyways because it was “gender neutral” and didn’t rub me the wrong way like poster girl would have. same reason i insisted on being a dude instead of dudette and only described myself with words that didn’t have a female equivalent in french class even if it wasn’t true. so what the hell am i waiting for.

like i know i shouldn’t be doubting at this point because it’s so, so obvious that i’m trans. just because i didn’t try to pee standing up when i was little or ask why i didn’t have a penis doesn’t mean i’m not a guy. i logically know this. like when i was 11 and i insisted to myself i had a male brain but knew i shouldn’t say that out loud because that was weird and i wanted to be a normal girl who didn’t have a weird male brain, and when i was 7 and at my friend sarah’s house and her room was super pink and girly and i literally thought the sentence “is this what i’m supposed to be like?” and when i was 14 and cut my hair into the Typical Queer Girl Pixie Cut and my hair was just??? gone like i wanted it to be when i was 9 and ended up with a bowl cut instead, and instead of looking in the mirror and thinking i looked like an owl when i was 9 i smiled at how “androgynous” (masculine) i looked, and when i was 11 and only hung out with boys at summer camp and they treated me like one of them and the girls were really mean to me but it was the best summer i’d ever had, and when i was 15 and my friend chris joked that i was the “guy” in my lesbian relationship and i was so fucking happy, and when i was 15 and starving myself because i loved my “angular” figure and jaw,  and when i was 16 and wearing a dress to winter formal because my ex met me in one and i wanted to be cute for him but i picked the dress that looked like a suit because it looked very “queer” (masculine), and when i was 14 and literally went “hmmm im gonna bind my chest just because i wanna know what it would look like” and it made me so euphoric and i knew in that instant i wasn’t a girl but repressed it for 3+ years because dealing with it would just be too hard, and when i was 11 and knew it was going to be my last day going to school without a bra on and just being so ashamed even though i wanted breasts so i’d be a normal girl, and when i was 16 and wearing that backwards snapback all the time and my friend said it was what tops did and i was so happy that nobody would consider me a bottom or whatever stupid shit because i couldn’t imagine myself being penetrated ever in my cisgender gay life, and when i was 16-17 and scouring the lesbian section of pornhub for pov/strap-on videos bc i wanted to know what it would look like to fuck a girl with a dick without watching straight porn because i’m 100% a gay female because the word lesbian is too girly im not a trans guy or anything haha, and when i was 14-and-onwards wondering why it felt so empty between my legs and why it felt like i was supposed to have a dick lmao im totally a girl though haha, and when i was 15 and had to google how to masturbate bc i couldn’t figure it out naturally and still felt like i was doing it wrong, and when i was 15 and looked at my vagina in the pocket mirror i got from selling like 30 boxes of girl scout cookies in 2007 and my first thought was “that is not my body,” and when i was 16 and actually very upset that i couldn’t ejaculate when i orgasmed. trans who? what the fucking hell am i waiting for

seriously. i was 7 and looking at my 2nd grade yearbook photo thinking “that doesn’t look like me,” and i was 13 and looking in the mirror saying “that doesn’t look like me,” and i went through all of my adolescence waiting for “puberty to turn me into a girl” and then i was 17 and done with puberty and crying because my body was still wrong. i can’t believe how hard i tried throughout my whole adolescence to be some facet of “normal girl” so i wouldn’t get bullied and be dateless forever and thinking “puberty hasn’t turned me into a girl yet” and not stopping to think about what i was if i wasn’t a girl until puberty was done, i realized it wasn’t going to happen, and it was too damn late for me. now i’m 19 and don’t leave the house without either a binder or a sports bra/baggy layers combo and i’d wear my packer everywhere if i could figure out how to get it to sit right (and also get it past my parents lmao).  like if anyone else rattled off that list of trans shit i wouldn’t question them for a second. but because it’s me and i’m like “what if i’m transwashing my memories? what if i’m gaslighting myself?” i’m still not on testosterone and please validate me. tell me other trans people doubt themselves, no matter how obvious it is that they’re trans. tell me it’s okay to doubt hrt, even though you know it will be so much more likely to help you. tell me it’s okay to be afraid of detransitioning, even though it’s okay if i DO decide to detransition and it’s so unlikely anyways considering all the evidence of Me Not Being A Fucking Girl.

if you read this all the way to the end here’s an awkward hug and some brain bleach im not even drunk or high i can’t even blame substances for this behavior