#you don't want kids to see that

[gutiuniverse]

Four: What are you, 5? Warriors: *snorts* Yeah, 5 heads taller than you Four: Warriors: Warriors: I'm sorry please don't kill me

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

Fic Idea where Fiddleford helps Stan rebuild the portal, but Stan finds out that Fiddleford has a wife and he's like

"You have a WIFE?? That DIDN'T marry you to steal your car and money???? What are you DOING here???"

"Yeah, well.... She's better off thinking I'm dead somewhere....."

"A WIFE. That LOVES you. Get outta here and go explain yourself, Idiot!!"

"She and our son shouldn't have to deal with--"

"YOUR SON???!!?!!??"

Anyways, so Stan helps Fiddleford reach out and explain himself to his wife, but expresses that he wants to keep being in Gravity Falls, so his wife and kid go to live with them in The Shack instead.

Blah blah blah, bonding happens, Stan bags Fiddleford AND his wife and becomes a step dad, God bless 🙏

[isatartdump]

Would do the entire dialogue but drawing Bonnie crying is the bane of my existence! HA

Anyway my reaction to when this entire dialogue was over was just. Hihi.

[krysmcscience]

The Lamb is malicious in a funny way and the Goat is funny in a malicious way. No, I will not elaborate.

Anyway, everyone give thanks to the Lamb for interrupting what was sure to be a very boring and patronizing PSA from their grouchy cat hubby. Truly, they are doing God's work. Granted, the Lamb canonically is God now, so, uh. Mostly they're just doing their own work.

Speaking of their grouchy cat hubby, yes this is absolutely still Narilamb, Narinder is 100% into his goofy-ass spouse always no matter what and we all know it, he just wasn't expecting his brand new adopted kid to share the same single goofy-ass brain cell as the Lamb. :)

[dustykneed]

so jim got bit by a space mushroom that takes away his impulse control... welcome to daycare on the bridge with his xo and cmo

obviously the salad cat meme is still going strong in the 23rd century because these guys reenact it on a daily basis lmaoo

prompt fill for @mcspirkevents' mcspirk bingo prompt "mask off" 🩵💙💛

[gabe-lovebot]

councilor 3D model

i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up to bring him to life. he's yours now. do whatever you want with him

[link]

please credit me if you make something using the model (or even ping/link me to it, i would love to see what you made!)

currently available as a .blend, .fbx and an SFM port.

[bread-is-my-life]

Big shout out to @tekitothemagpie and all the stainmight fans for cheering me on and motivating me. I love all of you very much so consider this animation a big thank you gift for y'all (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN 🎃👻🍬

[tizeline]

So Splinter was willing to trade the world for his son. If Draxum had to choose between his world domination plans and the safety of his own sons, what would he pick? If he was choosing between the world and Donnie?

Honestly TSAU!Draxum would very much choose his sons (including Donnie) over the world. Sure, world domination is important to him, but also remember that he views world domination as a necessary step to save yōkai-kind from destruction, which includes his boys! Draxum isn't the perfect dad, and he didn't exactly plan on getting as attached to his sons as he did when he first created them. But now that he does have them he is Attached™ and he'll be damned if he lets anything bad happen to them.

[pfhwrittes]

have some domestic price x gender neutral reader fluff that floated into my head.

pairing: john price x gender neutral reader

word count: 711

tags/triggers: domesticity, fluff, humour, pet names (love), mild bashing of the reader character's sister, slightly older than canon john price, long term relationship, no Y/N, 2nd person POV.

a/n: unedited as per usual. please don't interact with my writing if you're under the age of 18 despite this being a fluffy little something. also, i'm not judging people that want to get married or have kids, you do you but this is for those of us that don't want either of those things.

"john, what do you think about getting married?" you ask as casually as possible between sips of tea as your long term partner perches on the sofa next to you, his eyes focused on the liverpool game on the telly.

"i think you called it a "monument to compulsive monogamy and heterosexuality" and then you swore loudly about henry the eighth for twelve minutes on our first date." he replies before groaning loudly as his team bungle a free kick.

you smile into the rim of your mug because, yes you did say and do that when he brought it up all those years ago.

"mm, i know. one of my better rants i think."

john's hiss of triumph as one of the little red shirts on the screen peters off into discontented grumbling as half time is called and you place your mug on the coffee table.

john turns to face you when you settle back into the deep cushions and you trace the salt-and-pepper in his beard with loving eyes. if there's one thing you can say about retired captain john price it's that he's only got better with age, much like the whiskey he has stashed in the spare room/office. forty six is a damned good look on this man.

"what's got you asking about marriage, love?" john questions you with a raised eyebrow and you grumble, curse your overly observant partner. even when he's distracted his mind is still turning over every interaction and sniffing out a motive.

you sigh.

"my sister is having a baby."

"christ, really?" he looks so scandalised that you laugh at his expression. it's a familiar one when the topic of your younger sister is brought up, a combination of bafflement and mild disgust that pulls his mouth down into a frown even as his eyebrows reach up towards his hairline.

"mm." you make a noise of agreement.

"with the estate agent?"

"yep." you pop the 'p' obnoxiously.

"christ. she's only known him for five minutes," he shakes his head disapprovingly before reaching for your hand to give it a squeeze, "but what does this have to do with us getting married, hm?"

you shrug a little helplessly as he strokes his thumb over your knuckles.

"i don't know, i just started thinking when she sent me a copy of her scan and -"

"of course she did." john interrupts you with a weary sigh. "your sister is nothing but a self centred cow and i'm positive she sent it to you to get you to feel bad."

he looks at you, pinning you in place with a fond sort of sternness that you had seen a few times before when kyle had been over for dinner espousing his worries about being the right man for the job.

"listen to me when i say this, yeah?" he taps your knuckles with his thumb gently to make sure you're fully focused on him, "i'm happy exactly as we are, love. i don't need a bit of paper telling me that we're bound together for the rest of eternity. god knows we already are, what with the mortgage and the bloody cat."

"be nice john, she's a sweetheart." you chide as you glance over at your middle aged tortoiseshell moggy curled up on the armchair.

"she's a bloody demon and you know it." john snorts good-naturedly as the cat in question makes a noise similar to a creaky gate at the sound of his voice.

he releases your hand so that he can reel you into his side to press a kiss to your temple.

"stop trying to distract me with the cat and stop focusing on your bloody sister. you've never wanted to get married and that's one of the reasons i love you, you silly arse."

the small knot of worry you'd been carrying since the start of the conversation unwinds and you release a long breath, taking the opportunity to snuggle into his side more comfortably.

"i love you too."

john simply presses another kiss your temple in response as the football match starts again and you settle in to enjoy an evening with your not-husband.

(tomorrow you'll threaten him with a rolled up tea towel after you find that he texted your sister off your phone calling her baby scan a "badly made lasagne".)

[esggs]

cult leader!geto suguru x secretary!reader

Geto snores into his pillow, his long hair spread princess-like over his broad back, having escaped from the little bun he made before bed last night. The heavy curtains are keeping his bedroom still cool and dark at 11 am. I guess that’s why I didn’t wake up on time, I’m pretty sure we missed the Ichinori meeting. You look over at your naked boss next to you, deep asleep. Well, I doubt he’ll get mad at me. 

He looks so… breathtaking. His back still carries the marks of your sharp nails, you smile as you run a soft finger down his spine. So perfect. Glowing skin. Hard muscles underneath. He’s not going to wake up anytime soon, you know that. He’s usually a heavy sleeper, but especially after having been wrung out like that last night – you’d done a good job, you grin at the memory. Maybe he’ll give me a raise. 

You try to piece together all your clothes, you do have to go reschedule his meetings after all. Pleated pants- got it, under the blanket that Geto’s hogging all to himself. Formal blouse- got it, near the door, ugh, is that a tear on the neckline? A shame, this one was expensive. Bra, bra, braaa- got it, what the fuck?? Ah. You remember Geto tore it off you, too impatient to wait a second more. He liked to do that, ripping your clothes off you. Yanking a handful of your hair too close to your scalp. Hickies on the soft of the thighs and belly that seemed a touch from bleeding. A harsh spank with his large hand that made your lamb eyes tear up. Pushing a thumb into your ass while fucking into you from behind. A little painful, a little rough. That is how Geto enjoyed you. 

You decide to give up looking for your panties (they're definitely not in a wearable condition anymore, after having been pulled down your wet heat by Geto's teeth and promptly stuffed into your mouth). For a second, you dare to wonder if you’ll get away with stealing one of Geto’s briefs from the clothing drawer, before deciding that’d be crossing a boundary. Regardless of how many times he’s cum down your throat, he’s still your boss, after all. He’s still the wonderful Geto-sama that you adore and respect, one who found your potential as a sorcerer, one who will rid the world of all curses. 

One who’s trying to pull a hair out of his mouth in his sleep. Adorable. One pant leg in and other pant leg out, you awkwardly hop over to him and take the hair out for him. Those eyelashes melt your heart. You cherish him as you wear your pants as silently as you can: he looks painted, he looks angelic, he looks overwhelmingly loved. 

You put on the ruined blouse anyway; you’ll just go home and change. The bra he can have, you leave it tucked under his pillow, a little gift for him to find later. Your nipples chafe slightly against the fabric of the blouse. They still feel raw sensitive. Geto always insists that lapping them with his tongue would heal any wounds that his lips or teeth have caused to your pretty, perky nipples, but that’s not true. You can feel right now that it’s not goddamn true. Your tits still have full marks of his bites stinging red on them. 

In fact, now that you’re paying more attention to yourself, your entire body feels sore. Your neck has a faintly purple outline of his large hand, and your voice seems to still be rough. Was it him choking you within an inch of your life till your head swam within clouds of ecstasy as he finally let you cum on his cock? Or was it the way he roughly pushed your head into his lap, his thick cock stretching out the insides of your throat? Oh, the image of him hissing as he threw his head back, his Adam's apple bobbing with every deep groan and gasp. “A magician with that mouth,” he’d call you, as he petted your cheek before falling asleep. I’d do it every night just to hear him say it again. 

The places he’s grasped you to hold you against him, your sides, shoulders, thighs, ass, they all hurt. He went overboard last night. Did something happen yesterday? Hmm, December 7... nope, doesn't ring a bell. You pout as you find your phone, tablet, and a Plan B pill you take from his bedside drawer. Geto would rather not use condoms, but also doesn’t fully trust you to take your regular pills on time. So there you go. God’s punishment for creampies.

You suppose Geto has a thing for them. Not that he wants kids, just that he likes feeling you raw. Hearing you cry as you struggle to take him. Smiling as you plead that it’s too much. Pressing your ankles down to your ears as he sinks deeper into you. Moaning into your mouth as he ruts his pleasure into your warm walls, his cum drooling over your sticky thighs. Doing just as he likes, without restraint. 

You have to leave him now, it’s so sad. Rapunzel is still snoring deeply, turning over and letting the blanket fall from his X-scarred chest. You dig his phone out of the mess and leave it next to his ear, you’ll call him awake at 1 pm so that he’s ready for his daily evening address and other meetings. You quickly put your heels on and leave, but not before dropping a kiss on his nose. To keep him company throughout the day. It’s pointless and a bit too sentimental for Geto to appreciate, you believe. Besides, you’ll be right next to him all day anyway, won’t you?

a/n : every now and then the geto suguru agenda seizes me until i cant function.

img credits: 1 2 3

[justbeingbuck]

Astarion headcanons

i love my starry night 💖✨️ (image from my game play)

He never feeds on you when you sleep. He makes sure to wake you up first. He feels weird about drinking your blood with you asleep

He genuinely adores calling you pet names. At first, it was an act. But the pet names grew on him just like they grew on you

Not super big into pda. He'll occasionally kiss you if you ask nicely but he's not comfortable with it right away

He does like to idle time away in bed with you. Sometimes with sex but usually just laying there. It took a while for him to get to this but he loves having you near

He does enjoy his alone time. However, he does find happiness/solitude when you're next to him. You two could be reading in silence, and he would still love that

He's a bit shocked when you call him a pet name. He'll admit it later, but he loves the special pet name you chose for him

He's not sure about marriage, but he does know he wants to spend forever with you (even if you die before him)

While he physically can't have kids, he's relieved when you tell him you don't want any. He may feel the same way, too

He has asked you on multiple occasions to describe his looks to him. He has a relatively good idea but he loves hearing how you describe him. One day you get a painter to make a portrait of him. He loves it

Sometimes he feels insecure with the relationship between you two. He doesn't want to admit it, he feels that he shouldn't feel that way when it comes to you two. You do try your best to reassure him and talk with him

one time you had a nightmare and he woke you. you teased him by calling him your hero. he thought it was adorable even if he still didn't see himself that way

you usually shower him with love and reassurance. you started out slow and dropped loving words here and there but over time he grew to enjoy what you told him

[chiropteracupola]

"Are you finished with my portrait yet? Show me!" "Cipacton, I can't draw you if you keep moving!"

[maelancoli]

i'm kind of late to this but i just finished reading the scholomance trilogy by naomi novik and i feel like it is such an underrated urban fantasy?? taking the chosen one trope and turning it on its head with a fmc who has been prophesied to bring death and destruction, who is imbued with terrible power, but cannot even properly use said power to solve any of her obstacles because it would obliterate them and her soul. it takes a tired trope and the idea of an 'overpowered mary sue' and throws it back in your face by showing how all the power and destiny in the world is useless against a system filled with corruption that has burdened you with an easy way out (evil/destructive magic) that you can't take so now you have to work twice as hard as everyone else just to do simple, constructive spells instead of flicking your wrist and being done with it.

[it-one-line-at-a-time]

[Stan] "...And if you find someone worth holding on to... never, ever, let them go. Follow your own path.

"Think of this letter as a promise."

[Eddie] "A promise I'm asking you to make."

[Mike] "To me."

[Ben] "To each other."

[Bev] "An oath."

[Stanley] "See, the thing about being a Loser is... you don't have anything to lose. So..."

[Young Richie] "Be true."

[Young Eddie] "Be brave."

[Young Mike] "Stand."

[Young Bev] "Believe."

[Young Bill] "And don't ever forget..."

[Young Stan] "We're Losers... and we always will be."

[ellsieee]

Qi Lu just said I'm going to like you whether you fucking like it or not and you're going to admit to liking me too if it's the last thing I do.

He's just my type of deranged. I have to give him props for going hard at Qin Xiao. He is not letting Qin Xiao off an inch because of his unwavering confidence that his love is not unrequited. Boyfriends or bust. Fuck being friend zoned.

[tofixtheshadows]

I see a lot of people headcanoning that Marcille and Kabru will become friends postcanon over a shared love of gossip, but to me the biggest thing they have in common is that they're both deeply concerned with the inequality between the races.

I think before anything else, as the two people closest to the throne, they'll probably end up banding together over their shared desire to fix the divide between the races. Marcille has to give up on her dream of magically changing humanity, but she can help Laios achieve it Kabru's way, through political and social change.