#you don't have to match i just got excited XD | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

redbullgirly · 9 months ago

Note

Can you do a Lewis Hamilton smau where she is basically like Barbie? I feel like since Barbie is a fashion icon and so is Lewis, it would be a match made in Heaven. I read your pinned post and tried to make a request based on your rules. Sorry if it isn’t good enough

HI BARBIE! HI KEN! [part 1, LH44 smau]

Lewis Hamilton x reader

Masterlist & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part2, LH44 smau]

Summary: Lewis Hamilton is part-time Formula One driver and full-time fashion icon. And so is his girlfriend, Y/N Y/L/N, who's also known as a real life Barbie.

Warnings: None... but a lot of pink XD. Also this story is set in December 2023, so no broken hearts over Lewis going to Ferrari... actually maybe just a little teaser.

Author's Note: Hi Anon! This request is great and thank you so much for it, it definitely is good enough! :) I had fun writing and creating this, even though at the end it's kind of different than what I firstly intended to do. The original idea was to make Y/N very Barbie coded, but at the end I'd say she's Barbie inspired and I focused more on the fashion icon part of the request. Though there's a sweet storyline about why her nickname is Barbie, so I hope you won't be disappointed! :)

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lewishamilton A lot happened in 2023 season and there was also a lot of outfits 🤞🏾✨

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user1 MY GOD THIS MAN IS BEAUTIFUL!

yourusername this was definitely one of my favs 💝

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lewishamilton What can I say... pink is the color of real men 🫶🏾

yourusername but do i still wear it the best?

lewishamilton Of course ma'am

user2 I love them sm 😭

user3 can we talk about the fact they're the best couple ever?!

user4 so sweet🥰

user5 And the fact she's literally the only person he interacts with in the comments...

user6 You are the best Lewis, can't wait for another season 👏

user7 🔥❤️

mercedesamgf1 Did someone say Barbie and Ken?💘

user8 YES

user9 admin you're so real for this... they literally ARE our barbie and ken 🤭

user10 The only question is who is the Barbie and who's the Ken? xd

user11 lol imagine barbie lewis💀

user12 GOAT ⬆️♥️

carmenmmundt Me and goergerussell63 when?

gourgerussell I don't really think pink is my colour...😬

yourusername don't worry honey, if he won't wear pink w you i will 😘

carmenmmundt Oh I knew why you're my favourite Y/N 😘

georgerussell63 No wait I changed my mind darling!!

carmenmmundt Hmm now I'll have to think about it 🤔

georgerussell63 Y/NNNNN

yourusername 😌😚

user13 i love how he always manages to get y/n into his posts

user14 The power boyfriend Lewis has over me😩😩

user15 RIGHT?!

user16 he's just so... asdgsagfsgd 😫

user17 I literally need this version of him to live!!!

user18 i'm weak for bf lewis🥵

user19 Y/N looks SO GOOD in that coat

user20 I need to know how she does it

user21 fr

user22 The best driver and a fashion icon... damn he's got some talent 🙇‍♂️

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yourusername great season and now it'll be even better winter break w my love 💋💞

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f1 Our own Barbie🤩

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user1 yeeeees

user2 Wait I'm new in formula one, why do we call Lewis Hamilton's gf Babrie??

user3 idk user2 she just gives off the energy 😆

user4 Actually I think Lewis himself once called her Barbie in an interview when there were rumors about them dating and then it just stuck with her 🤷‍♀️

user5 oh really?!! tbh i had idea he ever called he barbie himself... y/n is just iconic xd

user6 IT'S Y/N'S WORLD AND WE'RE JUST LIVING IN IT 🗣🗣

lewishamilton Can't wait to spend the winter break with you ✨

yourusername *mwah*

user7 pls I'm so excited for them!!

user8 the vacation photo dumps are gonna slay🤭

alexandrasaintmleux stoppp you're so pretty!🎀

yourusername nooo you are alex 🥹🫶

user9 they could never make me hate these two just 'cause they're dating the hottest drivers on the grid🫡

user10 The outfit in the second photo? HELLO?!

kellypiquet 🤍

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charles_leclerc I see you like the Monaco circuit very much👀

yourusername i see you're stalking my photo dumps very carefully charles leclerc 🤨

charles_leclerc Well I have a feeling we'll see each other more often soon so I have to get to know you better😉

this comment has been deleted by charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc Caught in the crime😂

user11 WHAT WAS THAT CHARLES?!

user12 omg I wasn't the only one to see it? I'm not delusional right?🫣

user13 idk what you saw 'cause i didn't but this interaction is so funny to me XD

user14 mommy- sorry... MOTHER

user15 ❣️❣️

user16 y/n & lew >>>>

twitter

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yourusername i'm barbie. he's just a ken (and he won some trophy for p3 in the championship... idk where it is) 💖💄

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user1 I live for Lewis leaving the trophy there💀

user2 and the way y/n basically confirmed this by saying she has no idea where it is😭

lewishamilton You're everything. I'm just Ken 🙏🏾✨

yourusername exactly... though you're the best ken ever 💞

sebastianvettel Isn't he more like Allan then?

yourusername ohhh true seb 🤭

user3 YOU WANNA TELL ME THE SEBASTIAN VETTEL SAW BARBIE

yourusername yeah we made him watch it and he cried during gloria's speech 💓

sebastianvettel I'm not ashamed about it.

yourusername and that's why i love u seb 🫶

user4 why aren't all men like sebastian???😩

user5 I love these three with all my heart y'all don't understand

user6 my fav driver watching my fav movie and crying during speech about feminism is my roman empire

user7 AAAHSDFHFGSDHSG😍

f1 If there was a prize for fashion icons, the Hamilton household would definetly win it! 🏆

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user8 not admin calling them hamilton household🥹

user9 Lol that would be the only fairly given trophy this year

user10 OMG I just realized that one day Y/N and Lewis WILL be both HAMILTON😭😭

user11 I'll tattoo the date of their wedding on my arm fr

user12 that's real dedication user11 💀

user13 TRUE DEFINITION OF A QUEEN... LOVE YOUUUUUU

kellypiquet Gorgeous darling!💖💖💖

yourusername we both babeee 💖🫶

user14 the IT wags casually supporting each other

user15 I love they're still friends even though their bfs are probably the biggest rivals xd

user16 not the shade about the trophy💀

user17 Waiiittt what happened?

user18 someone who was at the ceremony said lewis gave him the prize 'cause he didn't want it😭

user17 Oh and Y/N wrote in her caption she doesn't know where it is?

user18 exactly😭

user17 Whoops... I love her, she's queen for that

user19 and the fact fia tried to deny these rumors💀

user20 Absolutely love this look 🤍

user21 you and lew are just such a good looking couple

user22 THE DRESS I REPEAT THE DRESS🥰

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lewishamilton 🇲🇨 with the best company.

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roscoelovescoco Mom's look's so handsome's ☺️☀️

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lewishamilton Agreed

yourusername awww my boys are too sweet 🥹💕

user1 lewis complimenting his gf not w one but TWO accounts makes my heart melt

liked by yourusername

user2 I want a man like him🤧

user3 WE LOVE ROSCOE CALLING HER MUM

user4 Lewis, Y/N & Roscoe are the best trio ever🥰

user5 parents and their son

user6 literally omg

yourusername wow who's that handsome boy laying on a couch 🥴😻

lewishamilton Handsome you say?😏

yourusername yeah, right next to u 🥰

lewishamilton Oh no, I should've seen that coming😒

roscoelovescoco Thank's mom's I'm handsome's boy's 😊👅

user7 these interactions give me the will to live

user8 I love the Hamilton family🥺

user9 lol y/n calling roscoe handsome xd

user10 The funniest part about this is that Lewis manages Roscoe's profile😭

user11 omg yes user10 not him playing being offended on his main and then being all sweet as roscoe...

user12 Love forever ❤️

user13 Y/N is so beautiful I can't believe my own eyes

user14 the two belong together forever 🙌🫶♾️💫

user15 fr

user16 If they ever break up I'll stop believing on love

mercedesamgf1 Mr. & Mrs. Mercedes

user17 pls give him decent car in 2024 to win another championship🙏

user18 The most iconic couple in history of motorsport 💅

user19 ❤️😍

user20 what's Ferrari doing in the likes?🤨

user21 lol calm down... he's literally lewis hamilton🤣

user22 No but it's weird... they never like other team's things

user23 and after the rumors during monaco gp too 🥸🥸

user24 I think this photo dump caused global warming... like daaammmnnn they're both so fine 🥵

user25 let's just say roscoe isn't the only one calling them mommy and daddy-

user26 lmao

user26 but true🫢

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yourusername barbie has a great day everyday... especially when she gets pink mercedes she wanted 🛍🤍

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lewishamilton Seems like Ken is good for something

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yourusername maybeeee

lewishamilton You want pink Ferrari too, don't you?

yourusername ☺️☺️

user1 ohhh to have a man like that

user2 OMG LEWIS PLS GET HER PINK FERRARI

user3 Yeah, Y/N will slay in that car😌

user4 i wanna be barbie too if she gets pink mercedes

user5 but first you'll need to have a ken like lewis hamilton

francisca.cgomes this barbie is so prettyyyy

yourusername love u! 💓

user6 Okay okay I NEED the bikini😫😍

user7 QUEEN

user8 Y/N looking gorgeous like always🫶🏼

user9 gold digger alert!!!!🤮

user10 Girl go away, you clearly know nothing about their relationship xd

user11 jealousy alert!!!

user12 the first pic does something to me 😩

user13 The most beautiful woman ever

user14 Lewis won lottery w her

user15 yes she's literally so pretty and they seem so happy together🥰

user16 fr I don't think I've seen him this happy before

user17 yeah he looks so much calmer and even younger when y/n is with him at event and gps...🥹

user18 Plus the OUTFITS?! I love them sm

user19 Where is Lewis 🙂?

user20 c'mmon he doesn't have to be in every post she makes🙄

user21 stunning as always 💘

user22 SLAYING AS ALWAYS

twitter

Y/N’s interview

photo 1: Y/N: How did you and Lewis meet?

Y/F/N: Oh, you guys'll love the story!

photo 2: Y/N: It was actually in a toy store. Lew was there with his niece and I was there because... [laughs] Let's say I still like to collect dolls and lego, sue me.

photo 3: Y/N: Anyway, Lew's niece saw me, thought I'm a real life Barbie and wanted to say hi. [laughs] It was honestly so sweet that I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm just a normal girl.

photo 4: Y/F/N: So does she still think you're Barbie? [laughs]

Y/N: Yeah, I think so... She calls me Auntie Barbie! [laughs too]

photo 5: Y/N: But back to Lewis - I didn't recognize him and just thought he's really cute. We talked for few minutes, though then I had to leave and didn't have the courage to ask for his number.

photo 6: Y/N: But few days later he followed me on Instagram and I was just like - yes!

Lewis’ interview

Interviewer: Lewis, you recently followed a known influencer and model on Instagram. Is there something going on between the two of you?

Lewis: Are you talking about Barbie? Oh, shoot, sorry... [laughs] I mean Y/N?

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yourusername aesthetic life w the best man, cute son and lots of flowers 🌸💖

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roscoelovescoco I got's mom's the's flowers's 😊🌷

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yourusername thx roscoe baby!! 🫶 guess daddy will have to learn from you 😌🤍

user1 ... are we gonna talk about the fact y/n just called lewis daddy?

yourusername ... no please don't, you know what i meant 😭🙈

user2 Too late Y/N, the twitter girlies are going to go nuts about this (me included)

landonorris Awww look at that grumpy little dude 🥺

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pierregasly Mate are you calling the seven world time champion grumpy little dude?🤣

user3 lando tf-

user4 This is so funny for no reason😭

user5 Lewis being called grumpy little dude wasn't what I expected from this winter break tbh

landonorris ROSCOE

landonorris I WAS TALKING ABOUT ROSCOE GUYS

user6 💀💀

pierregasly Lol

yourusername why did you even think it was about lewis peirregasly ??🧐

landonorris YEAH MR. TRIPOD TELL US

pierregasly Goodbye...👋

user7 u and lew are so sweet

user8 MOTHER IS MOTHERING 😍

alexandrasaintmleux Shining like a star✨💖

yourusername and you're my sun ☀️💖

user9 I want a man who gives me so many flowers!!!

user10 yeah and they're beautiful and tasteful too

lewishamilton So lucky to have you darling! 🫧🫶🏾

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yourusername we're both so lucky lew 💗🫶

user11 and i'm lucky i was born in the same century as you so i can witness this love

user12 I LOVE Y/N & LEWIS🥰

user13 I'll ask again... When is he going to put a ring on it? 💍 C'mon Lewis you obviously love her sm

user14 Your guys love is so special ❤️

user15 if this is the content we'll be getting during winter break, i don't think i want it to end

user16 races are great... but boyfriend material lewis hamilton is better🤤

user17 REAL

THE END

Author's Note: Hi and thank you for reading! I'll be glad for likes, reblogs, comments, follows and any other ways of support. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT PART 2! I really enjoyed this version of Lewis and Y/N... and perhaps I have a lot of pictures that unfortunately didn't make it to the story because picture limit isn't very friendly. Love you and have a great day! :)

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shootingmorningstar · 8 months ago

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Was inspired by bambygourl’s fanart and a TikTok I saw. Dressing up as Roger and Jessica Rabbit for a costume party with Lucifer. I think he’d be all pouty and grumpy about dressing up as such a silly character and not a suave charming character. Especially since he’d take a look at the white button up, red trousers with suspenders, and blue bow tie with yellow polka-dots and see it as a fashion nightmare XD. And don’t get him started on the bunny ears and tail. Tho his mood is sufficiently uplifted when he sees the reader dressed up as Jessica Rabbit. Low cut red dress with a slit and all. Just imagine pulling on his suspenders or bow tie for a kiss, getting lipstick on his mouth and face, and cooing over how adorable and handsome her honey-bunny is.

I've been meaning to get to this request ever since I saw it because it is just so good. I'm definitely biased for anything Lucifer related but god this is just so cute. Anon, your brain is outstanding. I love pouty Lucifer. If you still have that tiktok on hand or ever come across it again, do you think you could send it my way .ᐣ

You didn't include what kind of request you wanted though, and my default is HCs -- but I couldn't help but throw in a little drabble based on them, too. Or, at least I intended it to be a drabble .ᐣ It got away from me, haha.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀Lucifer and Female Reader Dressing

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Up As Roger and Jessica Rabbit ~

Lucifer is initially thrilled when you bring up wanting to attend a famous yearly costume party in Pride with him. A chance to show you off sounds amazing, and he's great with costumes. Just the thought of you two matching is enough to get him excited.

You seemed just as excited as he was -- in fact, he was even more excited when you told him you'd already had something in mind .ᐟ He's pestering you to tell him just what the costumes were as soon as the plan leaves your lips, but much to his displeasure, you refuse, saying you want to keep it a surprise.

You'd even managed to resist the very strongest puppy-dog eyes and pout. Impressive. He usually succeeds in getting his way with that one -- who could ever say no to that face .ᐣ Having exhausted his options, he sighs his defeat.

Well, nearly exhausted his options. He was entirely too ready to pretend that you'd won and snoop through your closet the second you walked away. Apparently his quick glance at said closet had given him away though, and with a quick deadpan stare alongside a scary sounding ❛ don't you dare. ❜ has his feet rooted to the floor.

Did his poker face really suck so bad .ᐣ He's definitely practicing it in the mirror later.

Ultimately, though, he trusts you completely and your choice in matching outfits is no exception, so he allows it to drop for now. There's still a few more days until the party, but that time could be spent much more productively by your side rather than whining about clothing.

That is, until the day of the party comes around and you bring out his outfit. You'd never seen Lucifer's jaw drop quite like that before and it takes iron will to stop yourself from giggling at his present state.

He doesn't understand the reference. Lucifer regrets his past decision to give humanity free will. It's obvious, even if he never seems to say it outright. He had given out such a precious gift and so much of humanity chose to abuse it, to be nothing but cruel. Looking at sinners and by extension humanity is just a terrible reminder of what he'd done, so he prefers to avoid it whenever possible. This quite often includes the media of the living realm -- he's never even heard about the movie, forget seeing it.

So without the full context, all he knows is that you've just handed him an absolutely atrocious outfit -- and to make it worse, you expect him to go out in it .ᐣ Seriously, he whinges, red overalls with a blue bow .ᐣ Rabbit ears .ᐣ And to make it worse, you won't even show him your outfit until he gets dressed .ᐟ He can't believe you're laughing.

He sounds completely and totally ridiculous, in your defense. Seriously, has he seen his regular outfit .ᐣ He looks absolutely stunning, sure -- but he also looks like he walked right out of a circus.

It says a lot, though, that despite the complete and total pity party he's currently throwing himself, he's beginning to shuffle into the costume anyway. He's grumbling the whole way, but the fact that he just doesn't have it in him to say no to you warms your heart.

You had been so, so eager about this party, and the way your eyes had shined like stars when you told him had long since burned itself into his heart.

wc ; 1.2k

His seemingly endless complaints had tapered off ever so slightly when you shimmied his grasp off of the ruby red suspenders sagging unbuttoned over his chest. By the time you take the fabric into your own hands his protests faded to little more than a mumble under his breath, and with the very first snap of a button in place under your gentle touch he'd quieted completely. Where a look of exasperation had reflected off his face seconds prior, in its place now is that of silent awe, his gaze trained on your every action. The gesture of intimacy is enough to leave Lucifer somewhat choked up, his heart still not used to receiving such acts of adoration and kindness. You tie the cornflower blue fabric adorned with tiny yellow spots into a bow to accentuate the costume and cover his hands briefly with your own as you slip the gloves onto his fingers.

Not twenty minutes had passed, and he finds his attitude regarding the ensemble shifting with every second you take to assist him into it. Each and every part of it looks ridiculous at best, but the thought of you picking it out solely for him has him warming up to the idea.

Declaring your work complete, you raise your grasp ever so slightly, palms holding each of his cheeks close, your thumbs rubbing soft little circles below his eyes. Your affections are sufficient only when finished with a kiss placed on his forehead. ❛ I'm going to go get dressed, okay .ᐣ No peeking. I promise I'll be right back. ❜

The way his wrists on instinct dart out to catch yours to bring you close to him again as you pull back nearly got you. He's extended his lips in a pout once more. You hate to leave him quite so sad looking but you know he'll appreciate what you have planned enough for it to be worth it.

Bathroom door shutting closed behind you, there's the smallest bit of lingering regret that he can't help you to get dressed like you had for him. The outfit itself takes you barely a few moments to slip into -- it's the makeup that requires precision, time and effort. His pacing around the bedroom is audible, impatient steps sounding into stomps, the sounds causing you to choke on a laugh. You need a steady hand for your eyeshadow and that's hard to maintain during an act quite as cute as this.

Nonetheless, your look is finished within half an hour and therefore Lucifer is put out of his misery. It's not a second after the door clicks open that his attention is caught, snapped to the light peaking out of the doorway. Stepping into the small hallway, your eyes are met with his own -- and the way his pupils widen as soon as he gets a glance of your dress makes both your efforts and his complaining worthwhile. His gaze takes you in from top to bottom, each detail enchanting him further. The dress so perfectly hugging your curves is crimson to match him and absolutely breathtaking -- and are you walking towards him .ᐣ Your strut does well to accentuate the slit stitched into the leg, your thigh tantalizing in its display.

Finally reclaiming your place beside him, one of your fingers reaches out, finding purchase under his chin -- and when you tilt his head up you swear you saw his eyes flash red. ❛ Hello, my darling husband, ❜ you coo, sending his already overloaded brain into a frenzy. Husband . . .ᐣ You wanted . . .ᐣ With him, really . . .ᐣ And although he's beginning to put the pieces together and clue in that such a term of endearment was part of your match, you seemed so happy to say it. He snaps his focus back onto just how stunning you look tonight, but the idea has firmly implanted itself into the depths of his mind.

Back into the present time, his hands have begun to roam -- he wants to commit every detail of you to memory, and that includes the feeling of your dresses fabric under his fingertips. His grasp is met with your own, for it's not long before you're pulling the straps of his suspenders, tugging him forward into a kiss. By the time he's recovered from his surprise enough to reciprocate, though, you're already beginning to pull away. He chases your lips with a whine but you've already moved on, pressing a kiss first to his cheek and then to his forehead. It's only when you offer him a small compact mirror does he understand -- each of your kisses has left behind a little bit of the lipstick you oh so painstakingly applied. Your marks on his face have left him entranced, desperately craving more.

A gasp rips itself from those same cherry red lips in surprise -- you weren't expecting him to summon forth his tail, much less wrap it around your midsection and use it to bring you closer. ❛ Kiss me again, ❜ He pleads, desperate and breathy. ❛ Anything for my honey bunny, ❜ you chime, matching the mark on his left cheek with one on the right. ❛ You just look so cute, ❜ between each kiss is another offering of praise and compliments, the blush left in your wake matching excellently. ❛ Who's my handsome bunny .ᐣ ❜

Your multitude of kisses has left Lucifer stunned and looking nothing short of angelic -- even more so than usual. You're fully intending on giving him several more, leaning in to do just that when the wall mounted clock besides you chimes a new hours arrival, alerting you to the time. ❛ Oh, dear. I'm very sorry, Mr. Rabbit, but I'm afraid we simply must be going. We don't want to be late, do we .ᐣ ❜

Fixing your lipstick takes all of a few seconds, leaving you free to grab a makeup wipe off the pouch resting atop your vanity and wipe all of the stains you'd adorned his face with away. A snap of his wrist catches yours just inches from his face, however, halting your plans in their tracks. Confused, you look to him for an explanation, a soft ❛ leave them. please .ᐣ ❜ being all he offers you. ❛ You're going to go to the party like this, love .ᐣ ❜ to which he nods sagely. He can't bear to part with them -- not when the lipstick marks are yours, not when they declare proudly that he is yours.

❛ If you say so, honey. ❜ You can't deny that the prospect leaves your heart fluttering. A grand, golden portal appears with a simple snap of his fingers and he takes your arm, now linked with his own in an attempt to usher you forward. He can't wait to show you off, to watch as other demons eyes glow green as they stare his way. You stay still, though, prompting him to look back at you with an air of confusion. It's then that you lean close, whispering ❛ be a good bunny and there will be more where that came from. too bad we'll have to wait until we come home, hmm .ᐣ ❜

Suddenly Lucifer can't wait for this party to be over.

I still can't believe I'd originally intended this to be 100 words and it ended up over a thousand. I can't help it, I'm so weak for anything Lucifer related. I'm half tempted to write an absolutely filthy post party part 2. If there's enough demand for it .ᐣ I just might.

As always, let me know what you think .ᐣ Hearing back from you guys keeps me motivated ~

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educatedsimps · 4 months ago

Text

— you are my sunshine, sakusa kiyoomi

≪ back to fics masterlist

sakusa kiyoomi x anorexic!reader

**TRIGGER WARNINGS: EATING DISORDER (anorexia), slight nsfw (light petting with no penetration, NC16 at most?), swearing PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU MAY BE TRIGGERED BY THE ABOVE TOPICS. please exercise some self-care and enjoy some of our other fics instead! we'll see you in our next post <3

a/n: i really NEEDED TO do this. doing this for my sanity 😭😭😭 - yves

content under the cut!

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," you sang as you drove along the expressway.

"You make me happy, when skies are grey," Sakusa, comfortably seated in the passenger seat, sang in response. He gently squeezed your thigh.

You let out a breath with a smile on your face. That day was an exciting day for the two of you. It was the match between the MSBY Black Jackels and Schweiden Adlers, and Kiyoomi had been a ball of nerves for the past week. So to show your support, you decided to drive your dear passenger princess, Sakusa Kiyoomi, to the Kamei Arena Sendai Gymnasium.

You had spent half a day at the office and the other half dolling yourself up for the match that evening. Kiyoomi frowned at the sheer effort you had put into looking good for him at the match. He grunted out something along the lines of "getting distracted by how pretty Y/n is" and how "You have to be less pretty or I'll have to learn how to fight with my bare fists". You laughed at the thought of your husband trying to smash someone's jaws with his fists when he hated any physical contact with strangers.

After kissing him goodbye at the back gates leading to the MSBY locker rooms, you went to the Ladies and touched up your lipgloss infront of the mirror. As you looked at your reflection, you thought to yourself, maybe I do look good.

Ding!

From: MSBY girlies + Keiji <3

Miyu (Atsumu's GF) [6.43pm] Y/n pookiee~ Are you here yet?

Keiji (Bokuto's fiance) [6.44pm] We're at the VIP section, Row 1. The security guard knows who you are so he'll show you the way in later. You sure you don't want us to come find you?

Kira (Meian's wife) [6.44pm] ahhh can't wait to see you, Y/n! XD

You smiled as you read their messages.

You [6.45pm] I'll be alright, thanks! I'm heading up right now Excited to see you guys too :>

They had been planning to sit together since the start of the new season, after Kiyoomi had formally introduced you to the rest of the team.

As you reached the VIP area, you immediately regretted agreeing to sit with them. Your self-esteem shattered the moment you saw them.

They were drop-dead gorgeous, with their perfect makeup, in their perfect outfits that hugged them in all the right places. They looked straight out of a fashion magazine. It was something about how feminine they looked, and the way they all smiled sweetly when they saw you. So inviting and loving. They were the boys' partners after all.

But they've got to have flaws, right? That's only human.

Their smiles felt genuine, and you could see glimpses of their partners in them. Some were rowdy, hugging you when they saw you and treating you like one of them. They asked you questions about yourself, even getting drinks and snacks for you and including you in the post-game party at Bokuto's place. For a moment, you felt like one of them.

But how can a whole group of people be so damn perfect?

God, how you hated how inferior you felt. The differences between you and them became even more apparent when you saw the post-game pictures that had posted on Instagram. You had only gotten their Insta handles just a day before and were already on the verge of unfollowing.

It was insane how out of place you felt as they sat there so pretty in just their partners' jerseys. Somehow, they still managed to look so good. Unlike you.

Eventually, your brain churned out only one reason - it all came down to how small and delicate they looked compared to you.

How they looked worthy to be the lovers of the MSBY players. How they were pretty enough to be their partners.

It was crazy enough that you were comparing yourself to the Akaashi Keiji. How alluring he was, even just sitting in the same area as you. He was even more beautiful up close, there was something deep within his psyche that was so magnetic. It was evident that he took care of himself, with how his dress shirt clung to his thin waist. You can't help but admire him, and you wondered if your own clothes would ever do you the same favour.

If only you had a waist as small as his.

It scared you how the need to fit in with them became so acute. The hopes of not being the laughing stock of the group fueled the waves of self-hatred that you hadn't felt since high school. You were bullied for being chubbier than average. Teenagers were brutal, especially to anything they perceived to be different.

Obese. Katsudon. Pork planet. They were corny, sure, yet shivers ran down your spine at the memory of those names. Not long after, you started having nightmares of that darned high school. The same bullies, the same by-stander classmates, and the new addition of Kiyoomi in his high school uniform with disgust in his eyes, telling you to break up with him. His back faced you whenever you asked for the reason.

It's because of how fat you are. He'd still love me no matter what right? Right?

And every time you woke up from one of those nightmares, you would wake up sobbing.

Yet every time, Kiyoomi still seemed to be blissfully asleep. You knew he'd always have trouble sleeping before an upcoming match and with him looking so at peace, you never had the heart to wake him up.

He doesn't need to know about this. I'll tell him when morning comes.

But you never came round to telling him about the nightmares. The seeds of doubt from those recurring nightmares started to sprout inside you.

You stopped finishing your meals. You started running with Kiyoomi in the mornings to "spend more time with him". Lunch breaks at work were replaced with attending the pilates class across the street. The cans of Celcius in the fridge were depleting faster than ever. Your daily coffee order changed to an Iced Americanos with 4 shots of espresso.

And when the number on the scale dropped, the grin on your face was evidence enough of how light your heart felt. Nights were long when you spent the first hour waiting for Kiyoomi to fall sleep before you shimmied yourself out of his warm embrace to count the flaws of your body with your reflection in the full length bathroom mirror. With how your waist measurements dipped along with Sakusa's compliments of how much healthier you had become lately, your were giddy with happiness.

But God, did it hurt when you realised you had seemed 'unhealthy' to him in the first place. He could have just called you fat, it's not like you would've crumbled, right?

Hit with the sickening realisation that the voice in your head was right all along, that it was even how Kiyoomi saw you, your tears mixed into the shower water one day after a pilates class. You were glad that your husband was busy at practice and wouldn't come in to take an impromptu shower with you and see you in this wretched state.

Please, please, please, don't prove I'm right.

⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹

"You'll never know, Dear. How much I love you~,"

Your husband sang from the kitchen as you hugged him from behind. With his beefy back against your face and him cooking breakfast, it felt like a blessing so surreal. You wished you'd never have to leave this position.

It's a late Saturday morning and you and Kiyoomi had agreed to have your usual stay-at-home date.

"Eggs?" He looked over his shoulder to you hugging him like an oversized stuffed toy.

"Maybe just egg whites today. I wanna try a new brand of yogurt I got yesterday with the granola I made this week," You replied, stifling a yawn

He nodded in acknowledgement and fetched the carton of egg whites from the fridge as you detached yourself from him and took the cutleries and dishes out of the dishwasher.

"How have you and the girls been? And how's the uh, pilates class you said was kicking your ass?" Kiyoomi asked as he plated his scrambled eggs.

You took the low fat, high protein yogurt out of the fridge as you replied, "It's fun, but I definitely understand why Pilates was made for prisoners."

His eyes were obviously judging you as he laughed to himself. "It can't be that bad. Definitely not as bad as our training when Meian-san is in a bad mood."

You could only sigh with a roll of your eyes. You retorted with an elbow jab to his side, "Why don't you come for class one day and we'll see about that, Mr. I'm-So-Strong."

He squirmed with the frying pan in his hand and a spatula in the other, swatting you away like a fly. You stepped away to giggle at the sight of him using his spatula like a sword in Barbie and the Three Musketeers.

When all was done, the both of you sat down at the small, 4-seater dining area in your home and continued chatting about how the week had gone.

"Itadakimasu!"

And the first thing that Kiyoomi dug into was your yogurt. You stared at him, offended. He ate it as if he was the one who had bought groceries that week.

The moment the yogurt touched his tongue, his face turned as sour as the yogurt he ate. With his face all scrunched up like that, you couldn’t help but let out a small giggle as you took the second spoon of yogurt from the same bowl.

“Y/n, I have no clue what’s so nice about this- this bowl of cold, white... glue," he looked at you in pure astonishment.

“That’s because you're supposed to eat it with fruits and granola, Omi-Omi," You stated simply.

You didn’t have the guts to tell him that you were more worried about exceeding your 600 calorie count for the day than how shitty the yogurt tasted.

"Atsumu's rubbing off on you..." he grumbled, making you giggle at the way his face scrunched up at the sound of Atsumu's nickname for him.

After breakfast, the two of you moved over to the sofa to browse Netflix for a show to watch. As usual, Kiyoomi had the remote control in his hand and the other on your thigh. Catching a glimpse of the wide smile on your face, he noticed that your thigh seemed a lot smaller and more toned than before. He glanced down at it, though his face didn't betray his shock.

Since when did your thigh get so small?

"Y/n, you like the size difference between my hand and your leg? Is that why you're smiling so much?" he teased, smiling as you blushed crimson.

"Didn't realise you had a size kink," he whistled, grinning as you slapped his bicep playfully. He tightened his warm grip on your thigh, making you gasp. Your hand reached for his shoulder as you swung yourself from the sofa and onto his lap for a peck on his lips. You could feel him smiling into the kiss before you pulled away.

"Seducing me this early in the morning, babe?" he said, poking your nose lightly with his finger.

You smirked teasingly at him as you moved your hips against his, making him groan softly into your ear.

"Maybe," you drawled, tracing his jawline with your finger before going in for another kiss. This time his lips trapped your tongue, sucking on it greedily. Dopamine rushed to your head as your innocent kiss became a steamy tug of war. His hands ghosted your abdomen and you suddenly became hyperaware of it.

Fuck, he can feel how fat I am.

You instinctively flexed your abs, in an attempt to stop him from feeling the folds of ugly fat around your stomach. His hands held your waist firmly as his thumb traced your abdomen, before coming to gradual stop.

Kiyoomi broke apart from the kiss, leaving your swollen lips to chase after his, but his forehead leaned against yours to signal a stop.

"Babe, what was that?"

Your heart was beating wildly in your chest, and you weren't sure if it was from the make-out session or his realisation that...

"What was what?" you returned, looking at him with your best attempt at puppy eyes.

You were cold sweating by then, but you hoped he wouldn't notice.

"Are those… abs?" His eyes flew wide, his attention all on you. His eyes were filled with curiosity and oh, how they glimmered so beautifully.

You wished upon the stars you'd never have to lie to those eyes ever again.

"Of course, I just thought maybe you'd like to see a different side of me... a little sexier," you averted his gaze, guiding his hand towards the hem of your oversized shirt.

He lifted your shirt and you saw how his cheeks turned an embarrassing shade of red. Burying his face in your chest, he tilted his head up to meet your eyes. "God, I have no clue what to do with you, Y/n."

It was quite evident what he wanted when you felt his shaft become more prominent through his home shorts.

And the rest became a memory you keep with joy.

Please, please, please, don't bring me to tears when I just did my make up so nice.

But all that joy didn't last when you woke up the next morning, scrutinising your body in front of the mirror.

How could you let him see this? This slob of a body?

Shame clawed at your throat as your fingers tugged at the fat of your stomach. You placed your palm over your collarbones, and they felt sharper than they used to. You knew you'd definitely lost the weight, but the greed to look more dainty than ever had you in a chokehold.

These thighs look so fat. Your arms are so flabby. Gosh, even your armpits are fat. It's hideous.

You're hideous.

And nothing but regret and guilt kept gnawing at your insides like a feral beast. The only solution you came up with was to grab the biggest shirt in the house - his MSBY jersey - and the sweatpants that covered your legs entirely.

In the following days, when Kiyoomi tried to remove any article of clothing from your body, you grabbed his hand to stop him with the excuse that you were tired. But truthfully, your new routine had been wearing you out more than you had anticipated.

His next match was with EJP Raijin on another Saturday night, with crowds roaring from both sides of the arena. You let yourself loose the moment the girls called your name across the hall, running over to hug you.

Your defenses go down as you shared a laugh with the others. When they offered a pack of chips from the snack table, you hesitated. But your inner voice reminded you that you had been fasting since the previous day, so you take the bag of chips with a smile. You felt lightheaded and giddy when a couple of the girls compliment your figure - it was the happiest you'd felt in the past two months.

The hunger pains were worth every bit of this happiness.

During the match break, you found yourself talking to the EJP players' partners as well. When Atsumu's girlfriend introduces you to the other girls and guys, your attention went directly to Suna's fiancée. It's obvious that she was a much smaller build than the other girls but the way her dress hung off of her made you gulp nervously. Your brain was strangely and subconsciously wired to recognise her as competition. She was quiet and elegant, small but eloquent. She was everything you wanted to be.

"Oh, mineral water's fine with me," she said with a smile when you offered her a bottle of Coke Zero.

GUILT GUILT GUILT

It made you choke back tears when you realised how fat you were behaving. Or how bloated you looked right then, with all that carbonation and salt.

And those thoughts immediately got rid of any joy of that day. When you headed home, you tried your best to look happy after Kiyoomi had served the winning goal, but your mind was plagued with the nagging thought of how you had let yourself slip.

Later that night, after snuggling in with your husband and making sure he was fast asleep, you snuck out of his warm embrace. His biceps were so warm, and being sandwiched between his chest and his arm made it hard to leave when it was the best place to be.

You left to burn off the calories from the snacks you had binged on earlier that evening. As you left the bedroom with a yoga mat in arm, you were determined to complete the new routine you had promised yourself in the shower. You wished you could do it without any problems but recently, you had been seeing black spots and felt lightheaded every time you did any physical activity. It was a bitch to have to stop for awhile before continuing your exercises.

The moment you stepped into the shower, sweaty and tired, you didn't notice your husband stirring awake as the warm water hit your body.

Kiyoomi was confused when he woke up to his arm cold and the absence of your body pressed against his. He had been itching with nerves those few months when he realised your behaviour had started changing around him. And that same anxiety only heightened when he heard your sniffles coming from the shower. It was the first time you became so reclused from him. At first, he was worried that you were wringing yourself dry from the amount of work you had, but he later spiralled into thinking that it was because you were falling out of love with him.

When he heard the bedroom door click open, he hurriedly pretended to be asleep.

Beep. Silence. Beep.

Your sigh made him itching to hug you and ask what happened. But the sigh following the beep of the weighing scale made it clear to him that the number on the weighing scale had somehow upset you one way or another. You approached the full-length mirror and peeked again to make sure your husband was still fast asleep.

You lifted the jersey above your chest, throwing it off to the side of the bed where you slept.

Kiyoomi honestly thought you were about to climb into bed topless (don't ask, he was not in his working mind). But when you stood still in front of the mirror, scrutinising your body like a piece of meat at the market, he could tell that you weren't heading to bed anytime soon.

You pinched at every corner of skin you could find. You looked at the woman in the reflection, and all you could see was the poor girl in high school. Fat and ugly, unlikeable and pitiful.

You then turned to your side, hoping to find comfort in seeing a flatter stomach.

In the dim lights, Kiyoomi could see the outline of your emaciated figure and the faint outline of your ribcage was enough to make him open his eyes fully in shock. The bruises along your spine made him wonder if he had been too rough with you all those times you were intimate. The way your hipbones jutted out were enough to throw him into a pool of anxious thoughts.

Maybe he should talk to you about it tomorrow.

But the last straw was when you muttered under your breath about how fat you still were.

No, he had to talk to you about it ASAP.

The bed creaked as you crawled back into his arms and he wrapped his arms around your waist. He never remembered your waist being so small before.

"Can't sleep?" you asked, turning your head towards him. His eyes opened to see your face in front of him.

He was sure the moonlight was playing tricks on him. Your face had harsh lines that he had never noticed, your nose sharper than ever and eyes bigger than before. Your collarbones peeped out of his jersey, more prominent than he had ever seen.

Fuck, how did it get so bad?

He knew you were trying to get fitter but he never realised you were developing something beyond just healthy habits. Kiyoomi could only blame himself for being so absorbed by his recent matches. For not noticing you were harming yourself.

He nodded and you snuggled into his chest, your arms wrapping around his waist comfortably. His thumb ran down your back in an effort to calm you both. Chills ran down his spine when he felt every ridge and bump of your vertebrate. It made him question how he had never noticed everything come crashing down.

"Babe, you okay? Aren't you be happy? Your team won today's match," you looked up into his eyes which were filled with concern. His eyebrows were furrowed in deep thought.

"How... how did you get so small?" he breathed.

You gulped. Things could only go south from here.

He continued. "I didn't realise it but when Atsumu mentioned it last week, I couldn't help but notice how much weight you've actually lost. Is it even safe to lose this much?"

He held you like you'd slip through his fingers at any moment, like water in a broken plastic cup.

You tried to avoid the topic, tried to look away but he wouldn't let you.

"...Atsumu? What did he say, specifically?" your eyes turned cold the second he mentioned his teammate.

What did he have anything to do with this?

Kiyoomi sat up against the bed frame before sighing deeply. "He was just asking if you were okay, 'cause you didn't seem as energetic as usual. And you can't argue with me, you have lost quite a bit of weight."

You knew that it was taking a lot out of him to talk about this, especially since he was never a confrontational person. It had to mean a lot to him, for him to face a situation like this head on.

"I'm-"

"No, Y/n. You're not fine. Have you been eating well? No, scratch that- have you been eating at all?"

You could feel the waterworks about to start, you felt the back of your eyes warming. Your fingernails dug into your palm, as if you could physically stop the tears from falling.

"I... I ate just now. With the girls," you whispered.

"A Proper Meal, babe. Not one of those 'girl dinner' crap you used to pull in college," he gritted out.

You let out a breath.

"2 days ago. Dinner," your voice cracked, and the waterworks had officially begun. Shame erupted in your chest.

"Fuck," Kiyoomi cursed under his breath.

He couldn't believe this was the same Y/n that would drag him out to enjoy their favourite foods together after a tiring day of practice and work. The same Y/n that enjoyed cooking together with him. The same Y/n that had monthly competitions with him to see who could finish more sushi plates at the conveyor belt sushi restaurant down the street.

It was the same Y/N that deprived herself of any food for days because she saw nothing but ugly, unwanted fat on her emaciated body.

Kiyoomi was speechless. He blinked several times, willing the tears welling up in his eyes not to fall but it was useless. You saw the way his tears rolled down his face along with his sharp intake of breath. He had never thought his wife would do something like this.

The guilt of not noticing what was happening to you was eating him alive.

He managed to calm himself down slightly before doing the only thing he could think of in the moment. He pulled you in and held you tight.

"Please," he whispered. Hugging you close, he begged, "Please don't take my sunshine away."

#educated.simps #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#yves.writes #lyssa.edits #sakusa kiyoomi #kiyoomi sakusa #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa angst #sakusa fluff #hq sakusa

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hairstevington · 2 years ago

Text

Stranger Therapy

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: Based on this text post, Steve and Eddie match on Tinder and decide to go to couple's counseling on a first date to see how long it takes the therapist (Murray) to figure them out. Link to Ao3

Word Count: 3K, check out part 2 part 3 part 4 and epilogue!

Warnings: Nothing too serious, Steve/Eddie went to high school together but don't know each other, modern day AU, aged up, brief Robin cameo, Matchmaker Murray, and my fav tag of all - gay scheming!

A/N: I'm a counselor in training currently but I don't specialize in couple's counseling so this may or may not be accurate? Idk man it's just fun and silly I love our stupid boys sm. Original post by @hxneyfarms

It’s a match!

“Robin, it worked!” Steve shouted from the couch. She ran from the kitchen and joined him, peering over to stare at his screen.

“I told you it would! It’s funny!” she insisted. Steve rolled his eyes and anxiously pulled up the profile of his new match.

“Oh, shit,” Steve said. “I remember swiping right on this guy. Didn’t think I had a shot.” He looked through the pictures. They were all candids, slightly blurry, or shots of him with his friends, but due to his distinguished look it was easy to pick him out even in a crowd.

“Show me his bio,” Robin ordered. Steve closed out the pictures and scrolled until the bio was in full view.

Eddie, 25. Shit at bios.

“Well that’s kind of boring,” Steve said.

“Yeah. You think he’s a bot?” Robin asked.

“Or a catfish, maybe,” Steve mused. “Either way, I still think I should take your joke down. I don’t talk like that in real life, and people might get confused.”

Robin had convinced him earlier to change his bio and replace it with - let’s go to couple’s counseling and see how long it takes the therapist to realize we don’t know each other. Steve had been a little tipsy when he agreed, and he assumed nothing would come of it. But then, Eddie matched with him.

“You’re thinking way too hard about this, Dingus,” Robin replied. “People write weird shit in their Tinder bios all the time.”

“Eddie didn’t,” Steve countered.

“Yeah, but look at him,” Robin responded. “He’s distinctive. It’s attention-grabbing in itself.”

“And I’m not?” Steve asked. Robin chuckled.

“You’re the kind of pretty where if you don’t have something witty in the bio, people will think you’re just some ignorant surface-level airhead who’s never worked a day in his life, and that’s not cute.”

“Okay, ouch,” Steve said.

“It’s a compliment!” she insisted. “Like, you need to show that you’re witty and funny and able to poke fun at yourself, otherwise you’re going to attract the wrong kind of people.”

“And this guy’s the right kind, huh?” Steve opened one of the pictures back up - one where Eddie was passed out on the couch with a beer still in his hand. As they looked at the screen, a notification popped up. Eddie sent you a message.

“Let’s find out,” Robin said.

Eddie: If your bio is serious, I’m in

Steve: Wait, really?

Eddie: Yeah xD sounds fun

Eddie: You got a therapist in mind?

Steve: Honestly didn’t think I’d get this far

Eddie: Boo.

Eddie: You’re lucky I know just the guy

Steve: Okay…

Steve: So how do we do this?

Eddie: Dude, it was YOUR idea

Steve: Ok but I’ve never done it before!

Eddie: Steve! I’m your first? <3

Steve: Yeah, yeah. I’ve never pranked a therapist before.

Eddie: I hope you’re either rich or have really good insurance. Otherwise this is gonna be an expensive first date.

Steve: I got it covered.

Eddie: I figured you did. I’ll call the guy in the morning and get back to you with the appointment time.

Steve: Okay. How’s your night going by the way?

Eddie: Nope!

Eddie: That’s not part of the deal, Steve. We go into this blind or not at all.

Steve: This is insane.

Eddie: Once again, your idea. I’m excited. Are you excited?

Steve: Thrilled.

Steve: I’m still concerned about how you know the perfect guy for this.

Eddie: 😛

Eddie: Don’t worry about it.

“I don’t even think he’s serious,” Steve said after he recounted the entire interaction to Robin.

“I don’t know, Steve. Sounds serious to me.”

“What if he’s like - not right in the head?” Steve wondered, reading the interaction over and over again. “Like, who is this therapist and why does he know him? Is he actually going to make an appointment? What if this whole thing crashes and burns?”

“I honestly think he plans on it crashing and burning,” Robin replied. “And then after, the both of you either hit it off and laugh about it forever, or you have an amazing failed date story to tell your friends until the end of time.”

“That’s…actually genius.”

“I know.”

Steve read the messages one last time, focusing on the bits where Eddie was mildly flirtatious. Steve! I’m your first? He could tell if Eddie was being condescending, or what vibe he was going to bring to this absolute insane first date. But, as Robin said, it would be a story no matter what.

He tried to focus on that and not the anxiety that started brewing in his veins.

The appointment was set for two weeks later. Eddie still refused to talk to Steve other than for details on where to go and at what time, so for the whole fourteen days, Steve assumed he was being pranked right back. Eddie was messing with him, or he’d cancel, or Dr. Bauman didn’t actually exist, or he’d be murdered, or, or, or -

None of that happened. Instead, on a Tuesday afternoon, Steve pulled up to an office building about fifteen minutes from his apartment. He’d passed by it several times and never once wondered what went on inside.

Apparently, really weird first dates.

They had decided to meet up in the parking lot and walk in together. The whole thing was crazy, but having one of them pick the other up so they could drive in together was way over what was needed to commit to the bit.

Steve got there first. They needed to be fifteen minutes early to fill out paperwork. It was twenty minutes prior to their appointment time.

This was weird. It felt a lot different than all the times he’d met someone for coffee. In another world, that’s how he and Eddie would have met. But no. He had to agree to this stupid thing, and now he was too far into it to back out. Jesus Christ.

Eddie’s car pulled in a few spaces down. Steve knew it was him from the hair alone - unmistakable. He got out of his car and walked towards his date, his palms sweaty. Eddie got out of his car a moment later, eyeing Steve as he approached him and smirking.

“What gave me away?” Eddie asked.

“You think I wouldn’t recognize my boyfriend?” Steve snapped back, pleased at the way he was able to take Eddie off guard.

“Touche. Well, come on, then. Let’s do this.”

Before they knew it, they were sitting in a cramped waiting room, alone, filling out paperwork. It consisted of insurance information first, followed by names and some quick background questions about the “couple.” Steve began filling it out, thankful that he was still on his dad’s fancy rich-person insurance. It covered basically everything, even fucked-up couples fraud with Dr. Bauman.

“Are you not worried I’m gonna, like, steal your information or something?” Eddie asked as Steve wrote down his policy number.

“I mean…should I be?” Steve responded.

“No,” Eddie answered with a shrug. “I gotta say, though, you’re way more trusting than I am. It’s ballsy. I like it.”

“Uhh…” Steve was trying to concentrate on the paperwork, but the compliment was throwing him off. “Thank you, I think.” He continued filling out the paperwork.

“You’re from Hawkins?” he asked. Steve nodded, absentmindedly. “I’m from Hawkins.” This caught Steve’s attention.

“No shit.”

“Yeah, seriously.”

“Small world,” Steve replied before turning his attention back to the form.

“You have a cute middle name,” Eddie teased.

“Shut up,” Steve responded. He wanted to find Eddie’s pestering annoying, but instead he found himself smirking, even giggling a little bit. This whole thing was so ridiculous. He shoved the clipboard onto Eddie’s lap. “Your turn, lover.”

“Euch,” Eddie groaned. “That is not one of our pet names, no way.”

“Noted,” Steve chuckled. He was…kind of enjoying this way more than he expected, as weird as it was. He’d grown accustomed to a lot of even stranger things in his life, so this didn’t feel as shocking as he’d initially thought.

“Don’t look,” Eddie said as he covered the paper.

“What? Why not?” Steve asked, confused.

“Because not all of us are as blindly trusting, Steven,” Eddie responded. Steve shook his head and looked away.

“Good thing we’re in therapy to work that shit out, Edward Munson.”

“You looked!” Eddie exclaimed.

“It was right in front of me!” Steve pointed out.

“Fair enough,” Eddie sighed. “Okay, now we gotta put down a reason for doing this.”

Fast forward ten minutes, Eddie and Steve were seated next to each other on a relatively small but cozy burnt orange couch. The color was ugly, but the seats were comfortable. Steve noticed the cushions had a natural dip that kept inching him closer to the person sitting on the opposite side. He figured this was certainly intentional.

The doctor sat in front of them, reviewing the papers the pair had just filled out.

“Hello, my name is Dr. Bauman, and one day I may let you call me Murray,” he began, his eyes fixed on the papers in front of him. “I see here on your sheet that you’ve been feeling distant from each other, and that you’re looking to feel more connected, right? Can you tell me more about that?”

“We’re just launching right into it, huh?” Eddie asked.

“Well, we are on a time crunch here. Your decision how you spend it,” Dr. Bauman answered.

The man was immediately intimidating.

“Ooookay,” Steve said, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, I guess it just feels like - like he and I don’t even know each other anymore.” Eddie stifled a laugh, covering his mouth with his hand to make it seem like he was maybe getting emotional or perhaps trying not to sneeze.

“I see,” Dr. Bauman said, eyeing them both suspiciously. “Let’s begin with how you two met and we’ll go from there, okay?”

“We were high school sweethearts,” Eddie replied with a grin.

“Wow,” Dr. Bauman commented. “Well, it’s common for a lot of development to happen from then to now. How did you two get together?” Eddie looked to Steve, as if to say, you’re up.

“It just kinda…happened, I guess,” Steve began. “We were assigned as partners for a project and really clicked.”

“Yeah, and then we snuck around for a while. Sneaking kisses in janitor's closets and empty classrooms, you know the drill.” Steve tried not to blush at the thought of sneaking around with high school Eddie. If they were both from Hawkins, did they actually go to high school together?

“Snuck around for the thrill?” Dr. Bauman asked.

“No,” Steve responded. “I wasn’t out yet.” Eddie looked at him curiously, as if he wasn’t expecting Steve to say something so serious. He wondered if it was actually true.

“Well, that and -” Eddie added. “- he was a popular jock and I was kind of a freak.” This time, Steve looked at Eddie curiously. Steve was a popular jock. Eddie could have assumed that, or made a lucky guess, but something told him that wasn’t the case.

Eddie Munson. Munson.

Oh.

Oh!

It took Steve a minute to recover from that information. They did in fact go to school together, they just had never interacted. Eddie obviously remembered, and he obviously knew that Steve didn’t. So what was the goal here? Was Steve being punked or something just so Eddie could get free therapy?

“Steve, you look a little pale there,” Dr. Bauman noticed. “Did that trigger something?”

“Yeah -” Steve croaked, now unable to look at Eddie. If he had, he would have noticed Eddie didn’t look as smug as Steve assumed he was. “Yeah, I just don’t think about high school that much anymore.”

“Why not?” the doctor asked.

“Because, I - I’ve changed so much since then. I’m not that guy anymore, and I don’t want to be that guy.”

“Ah, I see,” he hummed. “So, Eddie fell for someone who no longer exists. I think I’m understanding the problem here. Eddie, do you feel that you’ve changed?”

Damn. This guy’s kinda good.

“Uhhh -” Eddie began. Neither of them expected this to get so serious so quickly. It didn’t even feel like it was about their imagined relationship anymore. “N-no, I don’t think I have.”

“And Steve, do you think Eddie has changed?”

Steve thought about the limited memories he had of Eddie in high school. Cocky, slightly unhinged, just as he was now. But there was something different, he just couldn’t really pinpoint what. Maybe if he’d talked to Eddie for longer than like ten minutes total in his life, he’d have a better idea.

Then, he realized the point of this wasn’t to be serious. It was to make shit up. Steve pivoted back to the original plan.

“Yeah, I mean -” He shifted in his seat, finding himself now thigh to thigh with Eddie, despite not meaning to be. “He’s, uh - it just feels like we don’t have anything in common anymore?” It was something he’d heard lots of couples say.

“Do you want to make this work?” Dr. Bauman asked.

“Why else would we be here?” Eddie answered. Dr. Bauman narrowed his eyes.

“You tell me.”

Eddie and Steve were kind of not good at this. Their story was based in truth and not very exciting. They both seemed to realize this at the same time.

“Steve slept with the dogwalker,” Eddie proclaimed. Steve scoffed, half-amused, half-offended.

“Yeah, well you sold drugs to my mom!” he shot back. The two guys looked at each other, pretending to look angry while simultaneously wanting to laugh.

“Woooah, there,” Dr. Bauman responded. “Now we’re getting somewhere. Do we want to begin with Steve’s infidelity or Eddie’s illegal activity?”

“That’s not gonna, like, go on record or anything, right?” Steve asked, suddenly anxious. “Like, the cops aren’t gonna show up at Eddie’s door?”

“Our door, babe,” Eddie clarified, not the least bit nervous.

“Depends on how long ago this happened, I suppose,” Dr. Bauman answered.

“Long time ago,” Eddie said.

“Are you still currently dealing?”

“No, I don’t even do drugs anymore. Well, like, except pot - but that’s legal now so it doesn’t really count, I think.”

“Dude,” Steve whispered.

“You brought it up,” Eddie replied just as softly.

“Right,” Dr. Bauman responded, taking it all in. “No report needed, then. Let’s move onto the dogwalker.”

They continued to add to their lore as the appointment went on. At one point, Eddie even faked tears. His acting was…decent enough to avoid suspicion, thankfully. When the clock hit 1:45, their time was up, and they’d successfully managed to fool Dr. Bauman. Mission accomplished, date over. Right?

“Well, thank you so much, Dr. Bauman,” Eddie said. “I think you’ve really helped us out today.”

“Yeah, seriously,” Steve said, smiling. “We feel so much better.”

“Now hold on a minute,” Dr. Bauman said with his hands up. “There’s still a lot of work to be done, in my professional opinion.”

“There is?” Eddie asked, confused.

“Oh, definitely. Most couples go to a minimum of four sessions, and that’s still a low average. Plus, this was only intake. I mean, unless you guys weren’t happy with the counseling I gave you today…”

It felt like a challenge, and Eddie loved challenges. Meanwhile, Steve was too awkward to come clean or tell the doctor they weren’t interested.

They made another appointment.

“Well, that went pretty well, I think,” Eddie said as they left the building.

“You knew me already?” Steve asked once they were a safe enough distance from the office and Dr. Bauman. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I just knew your name and face, man. And, like, your vibe,” Eddie answered. “Back in high school, anyway.”

“You should have told me,” Steve said.

“You should have remembered,” Eddie shot back. “Whatever, it was fun. Right?”

“Eddie, I have no idea what that was,” Steve replied. “We have to cancel that appointment.”

“Why? You don’t want to see me again?” Eddie grinned. Steve rolled his eyes.

“No, I - I mean, I don’t want to waste his time. That spot should go to other couples who need it. Meanwhile, we could go get coffee like normal adults.”

“I dunno,” Eddie said, kicking a pebble in the road as they walked. “I kinda liked it. You can’t tell me you didn’t.”

It was true. Steve couldn’t say that he didn’t.

“Doesn’t matter.” Steve unlocked his car and made his way to the door. “We’re canceling.”

“He’s the one that wanted to see us again, Steve,” Eddie reminded him.

“Yeah, because he thought we were an actual couple.” Steve was getting frustrated at Eddie’s antics, and the way he refused to back down. “I don’t know if this is gonna work, man. This has been, uh - well, it’s been weird, but I think -”

“We have to go, otherwise you’ll be charged a cancellation fee,” Eddie blurted out. It was a lie, a bold-faced lie, and yet -

“So, I’ll pay the fee. Can’t be more than the cost of a full session,” Steve figured.

“Ugh!” Eddie groaned in frustration. “Okay, fine. Look - I’m annoying as hell, I’m a mess, I’m broke, and I could never afford someone like Dr. Bauman. I don’t know about you, but some of the things he said actually made me think and I kind of want to ask him about, like, real shit.”

Steve stared at him blankly for a minute.

“You - you want me to keep going to fake couple’s counseling with you so you can get actual therapy?” Steve asked, stunned.

“I mean, you could work your shit out, too,” Eddie suggested.

“What shit? I don’t have shit,” Steve insisted.

“Of course you do! Everyone does!” Eddie yelled.

“You’re insane,” Steve muttered. The thing was, he wasn’t saying it out of anger. He was saying it in understanding.

Because the thing was, Eddie had a point. Dr. Bauman was good at what he did, and Steve knew he’d never sign up for individual counseling. He already had the appointment. Eddie smirked.

“You’re with me, aren’t you?”

Fuck.

“Fine,” Steve agreed.

Notes from Dr. Bauman - 3/18

Eddie and Steve

Together since high school

Feelings of disconnect

Steve/dogwalker

Eddie/mom/drugs

Clearly lying

Clients are faking their relationship for me, for some reason. Will continue to work with them to figure out why.

They aren’t dating…but they should be

(next chapter)

------------------------------------

@ofherscarlettwitchways @livvyshmiv @paintballkid711 @abraca-fxckyou @allbimyself26 @jellybabiesforall @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @justaloadofgarbage-blog @alliemunsonsstuff @undreamingscatworld @thefruityfours @hobbitnarwhal @calivanus @wreckmyplans-thatsmyman @antheia @goodolefashionedloverboi @lillemilly @missmagillicuddy @steviesbicrisis @gamerdano @menamesniall @eyeslikewildflowers111 @callmesirkay @stringischeese @eds-trashmouth @mnl-enuh @redfreckledwolf @itsanarrum @soulsofstarsliveinyourveins @gregre369 @stevesbipanic @momotonescreaming @aryakanojiaa @wrenisflying @comicmadlover @lilacrobin @itch-my-b0nez @anonymousbandgirl @disastardly @Dang_Dirty_Demons @daisyellsong @val-from-lawrence @starryeyedpoet17 @taikawaiteatea @samthemissfit @chaoticvictorianspirit @elizbaehth @despoenaandpyromania @bagofgreentea

#steddie #this is honestly so wild haha #nobody do this irl #but it's fun to read and write about!#steve harrington x eddie munson #eddie munson x steve harrington #stranger things fanfiction #steddie fanfic #stranger things au #writing #st fanfic

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bluebunnysart · 4 months ago

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Fanart of my own fanfiction (Chimera Teto x Android Miku)

Good news! When I woke up and looked at my art again today, I liked it, so here's the uncolored version! I trust you tumblr people, so here you go! You may view. This technically means I've drawn UTAU Teto (here) and SynthV Teto, but I really want to color this and take my time doing so, so here are the lines before it turns into something else hahaha 😂😂😂 Read More for the stuff I wanted to write last night but was too tired to (also the art time lapse)

I showed like two WIPs of different ideas on Twitter but none of them were this LOL (just goes to show how much I wanna draw and see of these two specifically) but the reason I decided to go with this is 'cuz that fanfic I wrote in like one day really got me excited and it made me really want to draw them as I was imagining more stuff about them. Here I'll talk about what I had in mind

I love chimera Teto, especially her majestic wings, and what I drew here is basically inspired by that! Teto's basically the only "living, sentient" thing around Miku so far (I dunno how to approach adding more creatures just yet), which makes Miku extra interested in her. But basically Miku likes Teto's wings and tail too and is very fascinated by them.

I had an idea where Miku is just holding or playing with Teto's tail out of nowhere and complimenting the heck out of her, and that was condensed into this piece. It was too crowded on Miku's side to have Teto's tail there as well, but the reason Teto's embarrassed (tsundere is nice, aint it xD) is 'cuz Miku is indeed praising the heck out of her. Calling her cute and saying how cool her wings are and whatnot.

The dialogue kinda goes like, "Your wings are so cool! And I really like how expressive your tail is! I wonder what I would do with a tail. It's so cute! Actually, now that I think about it, all of you is really cute!!" (Teto, embarrassed: "Stop talking now.") wwww

Miku does have a kinda tail actually! It's the chain on top of her skirt. As an android, I was thinking it works as sort of a battery plug or USB or something. I can show off more of that later (since it's really small here lol) but she can use it to receive electricity and recharge herself, I guess~. (Note to self: make it bigger?)

I haven't shown off much of my art style, but most (normal) characters usually don't have pupils. (See: this Teto, who's a living breathing creature.) As a result, I decided to give Miku pupils (kinda robot-like) to make her seem like more of a robot. She also wears the thing (headphones) over her ears, of course, which I can also use to make her seem more robot-like. There's no green flashing of code in her eyes right now but I might draw that sometime too, after my loads of other ideas...

Teto's wings aren't fragile. They're probably firm, hard, and could even be scaly/rough (up to my own whims or the reader's own preference). Her letting Miku touch her (wings) is probably a huge display of trust/confidence. Teto's wings are strong enough to carry her far distances and even allow her to fly in bad weather, I think. It's up to Teto herself how much energy/desire she has to do things like that though.

This is mentioned in the fic too, but Teto probably folds her wings a lot so they don't get in the way. She's kinda like a bird. I think her silhouette against the sun or moon, with full wingspan, is probably majestic (I'm imagining the Batman symbol for some reason lol). I know some people color Teto's wings as purple, but I specified black in my fic to match her tail. ^^

In order for her wings to breathe, there are probably holes in the back of her outfit to accommodate them, but they're only big enough for the wings (ellipses/ovals probably): she either tears/cuts holes into the shirts she wears for her wings or they already fit her wings so there's no problem. I wonder if Teto made her UTAU outfit herself in this setting. xD (A girl has to pass the time SOMEHOW plus she's probably at least a little bit handy when it comes to clothes and stuff (survival).)

If, while I'm coloring, I need to make adjustments to the seating and lineart and all that, I will, but I figured I'd show off what made me stay up 'til 5 AM last night and then get embarrassed to post 'cuz I thought I wasn't finished yet. I woke up and I liked it, so I'm just gonna put it in this here blog. c:

I don't know how to color, so coloring will be a trip 😂

#my art #vocaloid #utau #negidrill #mikuteto #tetomiku #kasane teto #hatsune miku #uncolored #lineart #chimera #android #song fanart #end of the world au

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bloopitynoot · 2 months ago

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Reading SVSSS: Chapter 15

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

It's chapter 15! Time to figure out what happened to SQQ in the latest cliff hangar.

Today no tea- but I did have a blackberry cider that was very tasty.

I also did impulse buy a baby's-first-fountain pen to get into my little writing flow and add to the ambiance of my note taking journey. So, pls ignore the worse-than-usual writing; I am learning to write with it.

let's goooooo!

Well, SQQ appears to be in a coffin? p29

fuck, i'm already smudging the ink with my new pen. The lefty curse of it all. IDK how much of this is going to be legible later. RIP

okay... but how long has he been in here? MXTX is describing everything as dusty as hell. p30 (resolved as I read further- not very long LOL)

and he has his original body! That's exciting! Who did it though?? p30

LOL SQQ has 0 chance with this "advanced level plot" p31. He is totally fucked for sure.

These 'blind corpses' sound like a walking horror show. I would be so scared omg. I don't know how far the animated series got- but if this is animated that would look cool as fuck. p32

okay! they're fueled by breath! that's really neat though! pp33-34 Scary, but cool.

I would die immediately in this situation. When the thing (blind corpses) that are already horrible and unbeatable are scared of something else -> absolutely no hope in surviving. p35

ah, it is our little snake-man. I had a suspicion this was related to him and Luo Binghe's dad. He probably took SQQ's corpse too and brought it here. p35

OMG LOL Luo Binghe's dad is awful, but also feels like a troll AND is serving dad jokes. Re: thinking back to when SQQ knocked on the coffin and he answered from inside LOOOL. p36

Listen. Can we just take a moment to appreciate the absolute DILF that is Luo Binghe's father? I am a whole lesbian but that character art cannot objectively argued as anything else. p37

and now SQQ is going on about Tianlang-jun having BDE (not those exact words but I mean when you say he's working that coffin like it's a Paris fashion week runway and Luo binghe - the man you are obsessed with- could NEVER, it says something.). p38

That fucking power move too! SQQ: seems you've waited a while to meet me, why don't you come out of there and do so. Tianlang-jun: *bats eyes* okay but only if you hold my hand and work for it p39

SQQ has this habit of getting kidnapped "for his own good" but no one ever tells him why it's good for him XD this entire situation is so annoying. Tianlang-jun did this all so that he could get him away from the sects he wanted to destroy. p43

OMG scratch that. He also wants to use him as bait to snatch his sons body as his own. p45.

aside: I'm going to have to organize these notes later- I'm not catching the nuance in the hand written notes LOL my brain is processing faster than my hand (you will notice that the last 2 points here do not match my hand written notes because they were a hot mess).

What an entrance Luo Binghe! p47

Yes SQQ! You rescue your man from his dad (RE: holding Zhuzhi lang hostage) p51

holy shit. Zhuzhi lang is WILD - he really was about to just die instead of be a hostage LOL p52 I want to know what his character motivation is. He's giving the same blind trust energy as The Core Melting Hand in MDZS. Both just so loyal to a fault/their own demise. Do we learn more? or is this it? (genuine question- don't tell me WHAT we learn, just yes/no if we learn more).

That was so smart to hit the anti-theft measures in the tomb p53

aaaaaaaand he snatched the wrong person on the escape. well, that's fantastic. p54

I am loving the traps in this mausoleum though! The face with the magma and then the various rooms. I want to know if this exists as a D&D dungeon crawl/anyone has made one, I think it would be so fun. p59

omg. I don't think that Luo Binghe realizes/knows that that was his own father and cousin. that's so terrible. Truly Luo Binghe was treated so fucking badly literally his entire life. His dad does not even give a shit. Honestly probably only had him for this situation - needing a new body. p61

:((((( Our boy, Luo Binghe is in a bad way rn. gah! so many cliff hangers. p63

MXTX Cliffhangar Lord

And now I have to wait until tomorrow to see if baby Luo Binghe makes it. I'm sure SQQ is going to do something about it but dang, he is not well.

#bloopitynoot reads svsss #svsss spoilers #mxtx svsss #svsss #scum villian self saving system #scum villain #we have left the mushroom bod officially #RIP SQQ's mushroom body

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tobiasdrake · 5 months ago

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Digimon Adventure 01x18 - Piccolomon, the Fairy! / The Piximon Cometh

Previously on Digimon Adventure: What was supposed to be a lovely vacation cruise to get away from it all was ruined by undercooked poultry. Mimi and Sora were forced to skewer and roast it themselves. After filing a complaint with the manager, the kids returned to their journey.

The kids continue their march through the desert, though Taichi and Agumon immediately inform us that at least the heat isn't insufferably blazing this time.

Taichi: Nice weather we're having! Agumon: The wind feels great!

A cool breeze has blown in today, making for a nicer walk than usual. The dub gets this point backwards.

Tai: Okay, I admit a little breeze would be nice, but it's still a beautiful day! Don't you think? Agumon: Yeah, maybe for a scorpion!

Dub Tai is being relentlessly optimistic even though the weather sucks as much as ever. Even Agumon isn't having his bullshit.

While those two march ahead, the rest of the group hangs back behind them, deliberating Mimi's new Crest.

Mimi: I got a Crest, but.... Jou: We don't know how to use them. Sora: How do we raise our Digimon correctly? Yamato: Hang on. We haven't found all the Crests yet. Koushiro: That's true. We should shelve this conversation until everyone has their Crests. Taichi: HEY!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK THERE!? Agumon: HURRY UP!!! Taichi: YOU'RE GOING TO GET LEFT BEHIND!!! Takeru: We're holding a really important conference about the Digimon right now! We'll be right there, so just wait a minute, okay?

Man, Taichi just got told by an eight-year-old. Sorry, Tai, but when twelve people are in the back and you and Agumon are way out front, they aren't falling behind. You're running ahead.

The dub kicks this conversation off on a different tone, matching the tonal shift in the previous episode's ending.

Mimi: It's beautiful, isn't it, Joe? And every Crest we've found so far has been different! Joe: Yeah, but... We need to learn how to use them.... Sora: Or else our Digimon could Digivolve all messed up, right? Matt: Yeah, but none of that really matters until we find all the Crests. Izzy: Hmm, I think you're probably right about that one, Matt. Maybe the Crests' power comes from having them all! Tai: Hmm... What are they doing back there? HEY!!! WE GOTTA MOVE ON!!! IF YOU'RE GONNA TAKE SOME DOWNTIME THEN WE NEED TO FIND SOME SHADE!!! T.K.: Oh, thanks, Tai! We were right in the middle of a serious Digi-conversation about the Crests and everything, and then YOU made me forget what I was saying! You be in charge of finding the shade; We'll catch up!

Even though the dub changed the weather, Tai won't need to find any shade because T.K. threw so much at him already. XD Tai just got told by an eight-year-old squared.

We see a couple shifts here based on previously altered context. Mimi loves her Crest and is excited to have it. Sora's line is altered to emphasize the risks while de-emphasizing the whole "proper care of your Digimon" thing, similar to last episode.

Suddenly, the sand beneath Taichi's feet opens up.

A huge Kuwagamon emerges from the ground, flinging both Taichi and Agumon.

(I guess he wasn't amused by Taichi's impatience either.)

Even though we've already encountered one of these, the narrator gives us a rundown all the same. Kuwagamon is an Adult-stage Virus-type Insect Digimon.

Narrator: Kuwagamon. When using his special attack Scissor Arms, the pincers on his head can slice through anything. He's far stronger than the one on File Island.

The dub seems to think this is actually the same Kuwagamon we met before.

Izzy: AHHHHHH!!! IS THAT THE SAME ONE FROM LAST TIME!?!? REALLY!?!? Palmon: It's Kuwagamon alright. There's no mistaking that ugly face! But he's sure bigger than he was the last time.

A week of flying over solid ocean with nowhere to land does spectacular things for your lats, I guess.

Agumon pelts him with a Baby Flame, but Kuwagamon shrugs it off.

Agumon: He's a lot stronger than the one on File Island!

In the dub:

Agumon: Uh, we have a big problem; This guy's much stronger than he used to be!

The rest of the group stands around watching like a bunch of useless chodes while Agumon's forced to fight alone. Gabumon yells at him to evolve, but Taichi and Agumon hesitate.

Taichi: If... If he evolves wrong this time.... Agumon: If I don't turn into Greymon.... Taichi: (races towards Agumon) AGUMOOOOOOON!!! Gomamon: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!? If he gets you with his Scissor Arms, that'll be the end for you!!!

Establishing a big part of the episode's plot, we see that Taichi and Agumon are still traumatized by the SkullGreymon event. They're afraid to even evolve at all without the certainty that it won't happen again.

In the dub:

Tai: Alright, rethinking our training program here. Oh man, I hope Agumon doesn't freak out. Agumon: What if something's wrong with me? What if I can't become Greymon? Tai: (racing towards Agumon) Agumon, stay away from his choppers! Gomamon: Ahh! Move, Agumon! Move! Move! Do something! Get back!

The first two lines aren't so clear about Tai and Agumon's trauma. Tai makes it sound like Agumon's the one with the problem, while Agumon seems physically unable to Digivolve rather than reluctant to.

Taichi tackles Agumon to the ground just as Kuwagamon's Scissor Arms snap shut overhead. Kuwagamon comes in for another swipe and--

A mysterious voice calls out "Pit Bomb" as this single shot erases Kuwagamon. The dub calls it "Pixie Bomb Seek and Destroy", which is a mouthful.

Shortly after, the kids meet their adorable savior.

While Taichi and Agumon unbury themselves from sand and disintegrated Kuwagamon ash, this little guy marches past and lets out an adorable "Pi!" with every step.

Sora: (to Taichi) You look okay. Jou: Where's Kuwagamon? Takeru: Who's that? He's weird. Digimon: PI! Hey, amateurs! Piyomon: WAUGH!!! You're Piccolomon! Mimi: (picks him up) Cute!

Pretty basic dialogue. The dub spices it up with gags.

Mimi: A powderpuff with wings! Sora: Just don't use it on your face. Joe: And where's Kuwagamon? T.K.: Oh man! Maybe that's him! Digimon: Ha! I am no enemy, nope-nope! If anything, you are your own enemies. Biyomon: Oh! I've heard of you! You're the famous Pixiemon, right? Mimi: (picks him up, impressed) You are!?

The dub cuts out his marching Pi's, instead having him hum a marching tune. We also see that here that's very verbose. Dub Piximon speaks very quickly and with peculiar mannerisms to make him odd and quirky but in a different way from the original adorable fluffball.

From here, we go into his rundown. Piccolomon is a Perfect-stage Data-type Fairy Digimon. Notably, his attack is actually "Bit Bomb" but he says "Pit" due to his verbal tic of uttering "Pi" all the time. His name is rooted in the italian word for "small". Dragon Ball fans may also recognize it as a musical instrument; Specifically, the piccolo flute, so named because it's a half-size flute.

His dub name is, of course, a play on "pixie".

Narrator: Piccolomon. A fairy Digimon who brandishes his favorite spear Fairy Tale and wields strange magic.

Since she's the one who recognized him, Biyomon handles the rundown in the dub.

Biyomon: Piximon is famous in the Digital World for his skills and training, but few have ever met him!

As soon as the rundown's finished, Piccolomon lays into the kids for being weak and useless.

Piyomon: It must have been Piccolomon who defeated Kuwagamon for us! Piccolomon: PI PI PI!! Impressed by the strength of my magic, aren't you? (jabs spear in the kids' direction) PI! You're all supposed to be the Chosen Children, aren't you? You're all so weak, I could barely stand to watch, pi. If you keep up like this, then the Tags and Crests will just go to waste, pi. Mimi: This Digimon isn't cute at all. Piccolomon: The same goes for you Digimon PI! You're slacking off PI! You aren't trying hard enough PI! You're gutless PI! Yamato: (grumpy whisper) Pi-pi-pi-pi. He's so noisy. Palmon: I hate exerting myself.... Gomamon: I didn't have any guts to begin with. Piccolomon: That's why all of you are coming with me for training, starting today! Sora: Training? Tentomon: What do you mean? Piccolomon: Especially you two over there! Taichi & Agumon: Me!? Piccolomon: (flies out of Mimi's hands) You and your Agumon win the grand prize. You'll receive intensive training from the Special Menu PI! Taichi: Special Menu!? Agumon: Intensive training!? Piccolomon: Now, follow me! (lands and starts marching) Pi pi pi pi pi pi pi pi....

Piccolomon is incredibly rude and calls them all wankers. It's almost like they're lost children or something. Who could have predicted this?

He doesn't so much invite them to come with him as take ownership of them. He's telling, not asking. These are supposed to be the heroes of legend but he finds them woefully unimpressive, so he's going to fix it.

In the dub, Biyomon continues on from her diegetic rundown.

Biyomon: His secret home is the training ground for all the great Digimon fighters! Piximon: And I've heard all about you two but so far I am NOT IMPRESSED!!! You seven are supposed to be the DigiDestined!? HA! You'd better be more careful or you'll end up DigiDinners yup-yup! Without my spears and my magic, Kuwagamon would be eating you with a side of DigiFries! Mimi: That's gross! Thanks a lot. Piximon: And that's not all! You Digimon there! You're supposed to protect the children, but half the time they're protecting you! I wanna see some guts! I wanna see some courage! Matt: (grumpy whisper) This guy reminds me of a gym teacher I once had. Palmon: He's right. We just don't have any guts. Gomamon: Aww... Don't we get points for enthusiasm? Piximon: But the news isn't all bad! Yep-yep, from now on you're all going to train with me! Sora: But why? Tentomon: Let's not go overboard, Piximon! Piximon: Especially you two guys! Tai & Agumon: Wha--!? Piximon: (flies out of Mimi's hands) You heard me! You two need lots of help and I have a special extreme training program just for you! Tai: Did I hear him right? Agumon: Sounds kind of extreme. Piximon: Yep! Follow me! (lands and starts marching, humming his marching cadence again)

His quickly spoken dialogue peppered with yep-yeps and nope-nopes are what replace the pi pi pis. Otherwise, this scene is mostly identical. The only difference here is Matt's barb. Since he can't make fun of the "pi pi pi", he drops a solid crack about gym teachers who think they're drill sergeants.

Gomamon's line is also different, but it's actually improved over the original line. "Points for enthusiasm" is a better line for him than "I don't have any guts" because. Like. What are you talking about, Gomamon? You're a rowdy thrill-seeker. You have guts for days. Jou wishes you had less guts. Remember that time you tried to fistfight him?

The kids huddle up to decide what to do from here.

Taichi: What should we do? Jou: Can we even trust that Digimon? Yamato: What's your take, Gabumon? Gabumon: He complains a lot, but he's not a bad Digimon. Palmon: I didn't see a Black Gear or Cable either. Sora: Why not give it a try? After all, we don't know how to raise our Digimon correctly. It'll be fun if we think of it like a training camp! Mimi: It may be more relaxing than wandering around.... Yamato: What do you think, Taichi? Taichi: Let's try it. It sounds interesting. Takeru: It's decided! Group: YEAH!!! Piccolomon: WHAT IS TAKING YOU SO LONG!?!? HURRY UP PIIIIIII!!!

Wouldn't count on intensive training being relaxing, Mimi. You're gonna eat those words in a few hours. Also, I'm amused by the implication that Palmon was cautiously inspecting Piccolomon during all that time Mimi was holding him.

In the dub:

Group: (unintelligible murmurs of suspicion from everyone) Mimi: I don't know about this. Joe: I have a question. Do we trust a ping-pong with wings? Tai: But he did save Agumon and me. Why would he do that if he was no good? Izzy: Precisely! He didn't have a Black Gear anywhere on him; I checked. Joe: What do you say, Biyomon? After all, you seem to know a lot about him. Biyomon: Well, it's an honor to be chosen for training by Piximon! Mimi: Sounds like a lot of work to me. Sora: He's right, though. We could use some help. Tai: How can you say that? Just cause we've nearly been eaten a hundred times...! Matt: Well, there are worse options? I mean, do we have a choice? All in favor, say aye. Group: AYE! Piximon: WOULD YOU ALL JUST HURRY UP!?!?

Having a still image of a huddle with no lip flaps moving gives them the flexibility to change who's talking around quite a bit. Joe seems to lead this discussion instead of Taichi and Yamato, though Matt comes in for the vote at the end.

Notably, it's Izzy who inspected Piximon instead of Palmon. He was also less thorough, only checking for a Black Gear and not, like... a cable sticking out of Piccolomon's butt or something? Honestly, not sure where Palmon expected to see a Black Cable.

Biyomon continues to fangirl over Piximon-sama.

And another line about "how to raise our Digimon properly" gets cut down into vagueness.

As the kids trudge through the desert, Mimi complains.

Mimi: Are we there yet!? Piccolomon: A little further PI! Palmon: 'A little further, a little further', that's all you've been saying! Piccolomon: (ten feet later) Here we are pi. This is the place pi. Sora: Here? But I don't see anything. Piccolomon: PI!!!

In the dub, more kids get in on the complaining so it's not just Mimi.

Mimi: Are we there yet!? Piximon: Just a little further! Joe: That's about the seventh time he's said that. Matt: I think he's lost. Tai: So what do we do, ask a cactus for directions!? Sora: ...ice cream... cold root beer-- Group: STOP THAT!!! Piximon: Halt! We have arrived! Sora: What are you talking about!? There isn't anything here.

The dub's so good at its banter. XD

PIccolomon casts a gibberish incantation to open the way, while Piximon calls out "Pixie Portal!" and then spends the rest of his lip flaps giggling like a madman. His spell unseals a hole in reality, leading to a tropical jungle.

Jou: WHAT!?!? Piccolomon: Nothing to fear pi. This is just the entrance through my barrier pi. Now follow me pi.

After a moment of hesitation, the kids cross through the barrier.

In the dub:

Mimi: It's a hole in the desert! Joe: Am I the only one who thinks this looks like trouble? Piximon: Actually, it's just my front door. Come on in now! Quickly, before it closes, yep-yep!

Mimi gets to chime in, while Jou's shocked reaction is changed to conscious whining.

As the kids enter the jungle, Takeru exclaims:

Takeru: (gasp) A jungle!

But most of it is just 13 seconds of looking around the jungle. Prime opportunity for the dub to add banter.

Tai: Cool! A jungle inside a desert! T.K.: I bet you've got LOTS of friends who want to play with ya! Piximon: You should have seen it when I first got it!

Not their best work. T.K.'s line doesn't seem to connect to anything and I'm not sure what Piximon even means by that. Is he trying to compare his jungle to a used car?

Suddenly, Sora hears something. The sound of a horn, like on a car or train, honking in the distance. Whipping around, she spots Etemon's trailer crossing the desert sands just outside the jungle's border where they'd been moments ago.

Sora: Hey! Behind us! Jou: What do we do now!? Piccolomon: That's Etemon's trailer pi. Jou: Ehhhhh!?!?!? Piccolomon: Nothing to worry about pi. He can't see through my barrier on the other side pi.

This is a fun bit because it's something we've glimpsed in past episodes. It's such a minor detail, I haven't even bothered to mention it. Etemon likes to honk his horn when his trailer's getting hauled around, for no apparent reason but shits and giggles. Because he may be Perfect-stage but he is an absolute mon-child.

Suddenly, his unnecessary honking is plot relevant.

The dub makes the inexplicable decision to cut the car horn from Etemon's trailer. So Sora, I guess, has a psychic premonition and that's why she turns around.

Sora: (reacting to nothing) Huh? (turns around) Heads up! BEHIND US, GUYS!!! Mimi: Oh no, it's Etemon and his trailer! Joe: Oh boy, this is bad! Piximon: And right outside the front door he is too! Joe: Huh? Piximon: Oh, don't worry about it. He isn't able to see through the barrier. He sees nothing but desert.

They add in Mimi to ID Etemon in case kids have forgotten. This, however, creates a second continuity error right alongside the lack of the horn.

The kids have never seen Etemon's trailer until now. That's why Jou had the big "EHHHHHH!?!?" reaction when Piccolomon ID'd it. He knee-jerk reacted to the strange vehicle by assuming they were in peril, and then Piccolomon's explanation upgraded that to THE MOST PERIL. So I guess Mimi's having psychic premonitions too today.

I can forgive Mimi's continuity flub. I don't think the dub team approached this show as a serialized story and were instead looking at it like an episodic cartoon, since that's what most cartoons in the 90's were like.

But removing the car horn is an incomprehensible choice to make.

Inside the trailer, repairs on the Dark Network remain underway, though they seem to have several sectors now online. Etemon, however, is throwing a hissy fit.

Etemon: HAVEN'T YOU FIXED IT YET!?!? Gazimon 1: It's being restored at an incredible rate! Gazimon 2: Please wait just a little longer! Etemon: (bouncing on chair) I can't wait anymore! Hurry up and REPAIR MY NETWORK ALREADY!!!

As someone who works in tech, I feel for these Gazimon.

The Gazimon are bolder in the dub.

Etemon: The stupid screen is still broken; What's taking so long!? Gazimon 1: We've almost got it fixed, Etemon. Gazimon 2: No need for a conniption fit! Etemon: (bouncing on chair) I'LL SHOW YOU CONNIPTION YOU INSOLENT LITTLE WORMS!!! Fix it right away; I have a show to get on!

The boldness to say that straight to an already agitated Etemon's face. Holy shit.

So the kids come to Piximon's home. A tall mountain with stairs spiraling up it, leading to the various structures.

How's that "more relaxing than walking" thing coming along, Mimi?

Jou: ...up there...? Mimi: What is that!? (crying) I don't believe it.... Koushiro: We have to climb that? Takeru: How many steps are there? Yamato: There's no use counting them. Sora: Wait, does this mean our training has already started? Piccolomon: That's right PI! Tentomon: (quietly, to himself) Hehehe, this is a piece of cake. I can just-- Piccolomon: By the way, flying is forbidden during training pi! Tentomon: Aww.... Piccolomon: Stop whining and start climbing pi!

Nice try, Tentomon, but no dice. Start walking, everybody.

In the dub:

Piximon: Alright, everybody, home we are! My house is just up these steps. Joe: We have to walk up there!? Mimi: But I didn't bring my stair-climbing sneakers! Tai: Uh, yeah... And I just remembered I'm afraid of heights! Izzy: Purely from a logical standpoint, it doesn't look very safe. Sora: Is this part of our training? Piximon: Exactly! Tentomon: (loudly, to everyone) Hey, no sweat! I'll just FLY up there! Then, before you know it, I'll be chilling by the pool while you guys are still-- Piximon: And oh, by the way, did I mention there will be no flying by anyone during all my training? Tentomon: Aww.... Piximon: Haven't you rookies learned that the easy way is sometimes a TRAP!? Now let's move out! Joe: I guess Piximon never heard of elevators....

Low blow on that last line. XD These kids do struggle with that. They walk into traps so easily.

Meanwhile, Dub Tentomon deserves to walk. The original was whispering to himself about his loophole; In the dub, he's openly gloating.

On the way up the mountain, Piccolomon motivates the kids to reach the very top by promising food when they get there. And by food, he means:

Gomamon: Hey. Where's the food? Piccolomon: You'll have to finish your next training first pi! Gomamon: (distraught) I knew it.... Piccolomon: (conjures up buckets and washrags) You'll be scrubbing all of these floors pi! Yamato: Scrubbing all of the floors!? Jou: All of them from top to bottom!? Mimi: (crying) No way! Piccolomon: (to Taichi and Agumon) You two have the Special Menu pi! Come with me pi! Taichi & Agumon: (groan) Special Menu....

This is the same in the dub but with all of the kids complaining at once upon hearing about the scrubbing such that it's hard to make out any one complaint.

Until we get to Tai and Agumon. Then they drop this gem.

Piximon: But not you, Agumon and Tai. Come now, I have a special chore for you. Tai: Great; We probably have to paint the place!

XD Yeah, probably.

The kids get to work on scrubbing the floors, with various grumbles arising.

Sora: There's no other choice. Let's get this over with. Mimi: I've never scrubbed a floor; Not even in my own house.... Piyomon: Is this really training!? Palmon: Maybe he's just using us to work as his maids! Gomamon: FOOD!!! Takeru: Tokomon, let's race to see who's faster! Tokomon: Okay! I won't lose to you! Yamato: (stops cleaning to watch his brother and smile) Takeru....

In the dub:

Mimi: The last time I scrubbed a floor was... Never! Izzy: It's a simple task, Mimi; Even you'll catch on. Matt: Is this really training or is this just Piximon's maid's day off and he doesn't like to vacuum!? T.K.: Tokomon, let's have a cleaning race! Ready, set, go! VROOM! VROOOOOOM!!! Matt: (stops cleaning to watch his brother and smiles) Ahaha....

Two key differences here, one I appreciate and one I hate. I like that they composited Piyomon and Palmon's lines into one for Matt. It feels a little weird that, in the original, all of the girls grouse while the boys mostly just get straight to work. Except Gomamon, of course, who's still mad about the food fakeout. This way, it's more even.

But also, they add a line that's just Izzy being mean to Mimi about her line from the original. Thanks, I hate it.

For the Special Menu, Piccolomon drops off Taichi and Agumon in a small, pitch-black cave. As they enter, they sink through the ground and are lost to places unknown. Training has begun.

Later that night, the group goes to sleep on the floor of a miserable looking waiting room with one chair and a couch. Jou-senpai takes the chair (perk of being the oldest, I guess) while Sora and Mimi share the couch, sleeping sitting up and leaning against each other. Everyone else piles on the floor.

But Koushiro can't sleep. Starting to get up, he spots Yamato sneaking out. Yamato shushes him, and the pair leave the room together. Once they're outside, they can talk.

Yamato: Taichi and Agumon haven't come back. Koushiro: Yeah. I wonder what happened to them?

Before they can follow that line of conversation further, Yamato and Koushiro's Tags suddenly begin to pulse.

Yamato: They're glowing! Koushiro: Yamato-san! Yamato: Our Crests must be nearby!

Following the pulsing of their Crests, Yamato and Koushiro descend the mountain. As they leave Piccolomon's home in the dead of night, Koushiro starts to get nervous.

Koushiro: Should we bring Tentomon and Gabumon with us? Yamato: No. We're safe inside the barrier. We should let them sleep.

Trusting his senpai to know best, Koushiro follows Yamato's lead. When their Tags begin to pulse again, they race off from the house, following the trail. As they go, we catch a glimpse of the ever inscrutable Piccolomon watching them leave.

Taichi and Agumon wake up on a boat, floating in a mysterious glowing body of water. Agumon wakes first, then rouses Taichi.

Taichi: Wh-Where are we!? Agumon: I don't know! I thought we were in a cave! Taichi: (stands up in the boat and calls out) HEY!!! PICCOLOMON!!!

No answer returns to him but he does rock the boat enough to fall out so that's a reaction, at least. Agumon grabs an oar to fish him out.

Agumon: What are you doing? Taichi: Oh, be quiet. Is this really training?

Tai doesn't get to talk in the dub; Agumon eats up the screentime for both of their lines so he can chastise Tai more.

Agumon: Don't you know not to stand up in a boat!? Here, grab this.

Unfortunately, a sudden bright light in the distance appears, distracting Agumon.

Agumon: Taichi! Something's shining over there! Taichi: H-Hey! Keep looking this way!

Too late. Agumon's so distracted, he can't pull Taichi in properly. Instead, Taichi ends up pulling him out of the boat.

Surfacing, they both end up clinging to the side of the boat and lay into each other.

Taichi: Crap, Agumon! What are you doing!? Agumon: I was just trying to help you! Taichi: That's a lie, you were staring off at something else! Agumon: But the light! Taichi: Wait a second. This boat is drifting somewhere. Come on, hang tight! Agumon: Don't change the subject! To start off, Taichi, you were--

They squabble just as hard in the dub.

Tai: Now look what you did! We're both in the water! Agumon: What I did!? You were the one standing up in the boat. I was just trying to pull- Tai: Well, if you'd been watching what you were doing instead of looking at some stupid light in the distance-- Agumon: Well, if you hadn't pulled on the oar, we wouldn't be swimming like tuna in pea soup! We'd be back in the boat warm and dry! Tai: I do not swim like a tuna fish and where do you get off blaming--

I'm not sure what swimming like a tuna means but it sounds scathing. Take that, Tai!

As their boat drifts further away, the light slowly moves in. Taichi and Agumon fade away as it passes.

The following morning, the kids remaining at the house are woken up by Piccolomon banging on a metal bucket.

Mimi: What is that racket!?!? Piccolomon: Morning! How long do you plan on sleeping, PI!? Look sharp PI! Tentomon: Has anyone seen Koushiro-han? Group: (suddenly alert) Huh!? Gabumon: And Yamato! Takeru: Piccolomon, do you know where they are? Piccolomon: Those two left to find their Crests pi! Tentomon: (grumpy) Oh. So he left me behind.

So help me, if he wasn't Perfect-stage, they would probably make him eat that bucket.

In the dub:

Mimi: ...what is it? What's going on? Piximon: Rise and shine, everybody! Everybody up! Come on, people! Tentomon: Picomon(sic), do you know where Izzy went? He's not in his bed. Group: (suddenly alert) Huh!? Gabumon: And I can't find Matt! T.K.: What!? Hey, did you send my brother somewhere? Piximon: Your brother and his pal left to look for Crests about midnight. Tentomon: Ohh, I don't believe it! Why would Izzy leave me behind!?

Got another flagrant line flub here. Tentomon's actor says "Picomon" instead of "Piximon", as if starting to say Piccolomon but then realizing and snipping it off. Yet again, they just left it in and didn't shoot another take.

Realizing that three people are now missing, the girls do the only sensible thing.

They bully Jou for absolutely no reason. XD

Sora: Taichi and Agumon haven't returned since last night, and now it's Koushiro-kun and Yamato-kun. What a mystery that they keep disappearing, one after another.... Mimi: Maybe Jou-senpai is next. Jou: H-Hey, don't say weird stuff like that! P-Piccolomon might-- Gomamon: D'aww, Jou. You get scared too easily. It's fine. We can trust Piccolomon! Jou: Are you sure...? Piccolomon: Now! Time for training PI!

Savage.

While everyone's triggering Jou's neuroses on purpose for funsies, we return to Yamato and Koushiro. They've descended all the way to the jungle in search of their Crests.

Trudging through the underbrush, they discuss their own motives for pursuing these ambiguous little macguffins.

Yamato: Hey. Why do you want your Crest, Koushiro? Koushiro: Why? I want to see what Kabuterimon evolves into next, of course! How about you, Yamato-san? Yamato: I, uh... I want to improve myself! It's not only Digimon who evolve and grow stronger. I want to mature alongside them and grab hold of a part of me that's different from before.

Yamato putting off incredible senpai energy right now.

The dub expresses the same sentiments but the way they phrase it is interesting.

Matt: Why do you want to find a Crest, Izzy? Izzy: I guess it's mostly because of Kabuterimon. I would like to see which stage he will Digivolve into after that one. Isn't that the reason why you're looking for a Crest? Matt: No. I want to use the Crest to Digivolve me! Izzy: Oh? Matt: Not into a Digimon, but to make me stronger and smarter. Maybe learn something new about myself. Y'know, to reach my next level!

Matt captures the sentiment from Yamato really well. The phrase "Digivolve me" is a bit awkward, but purposely so. It's attention-grabbing and demands explanation, which he provides immediately.

Izzy, however, tries to sound smart by asking what stage Kabuterimon's going to Digivolve into which. Uh. Isn't. Really. A question. It's Perfect/Ultimate, Izzy. He's going to Digivolve to Ultimate stage. That's how the stages work. The question here is what specific Ultimate-stage Digimon he's going to become.

(It will always be confusing that the dub calls Ultimate-stage Mega and Perfect-stage Ultimate.)

Finally, they come across their destination.

Yamato: We're at the edge of the barrier. Koushiro: We came this far only to reach a dead end. (The well in the desert begins to glow) Yamato: Hey! Koushiro: The well is glowing! Our Crests must be inside it, Yamato-san! Yamato: But it's outside the barrier!

Koushiro approaches the barrier and touches it with his hand, testing whether it's a physical obstruction or not. As he slides his hand through, Dub Izzy utters:

Izzy: Hope my hand doesn't melt....

Fortunately, his hand passes through easily.

Koushiro: We can pass through! Yamato: (nods approvingly) Okay!

Yamato descends the well first, with Koushiro following behind. Before long, they're both able to find their Crests glowing along the walls.

Their Crests activate at the same time, slotting into their Tags. Five down, two to go.

It's just too bad they left the barrier.

The Dark Network is back online and fully functional. Yamato and Koushiro appear circled on Etemon's map. They've been found.

Gazimon: There's a signal in Area K-1! Etemon: What!? HEY!!! (strangles the Gazimon) WE JUST PASSED THAT PLACE!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEGH!!! (Etemon goes to his console once he's done throttling his technician) Etemon: Area K-1 is Tyrannomon's territory. Alright, I'll teach them a thing or two!

The dub calls it area G-3 but the dialogue is otherwise identical.

As the boys emerge from the well, they soon realize that the enemy is onto them.

It's not subtle.

(Huh, look at that. The Dark Cables really are coming out of his butt. I owe Palmon an apology.)

Koushiro and Yamato run screaming for their lives while the narrator launches into our rundown. Tyrannomon is an Adult-stage Data-type Dinosaur Digimon. Named, of course, for tyrannosaurus rex.

Of note, some sources say Tyranomon with one 'n'. This is because, in Japanese, it's Ti-ra-no-mo-n. However, that's also how the word tyrannosaurus is spelled: Ti-ra-no-sa-u-ru-su. So the intent, to me, for it to be named Tyrannomon with two 'n's is pretty clear. It's supposed to be spelled exactly like tyrannosaurus.

(The t-rex is also called 覇王竜 haou ryuu, which translates literally to Emperor Dragon or Overlord Dragon. Compositing the kanji ha meaning conquest or domination, ou meaning king, and ryuu meaning dragon. So that's pretty badass.)

Narrator: Tyrannomon. A Dinosaur Digimon well-prepared to survive in the wild. His special attack is the scorching flame Fire Breath.

Piximon handles our diegetic rundown from... wherever he is.

Piximon: Tyranomon. A huge Digimon with fire breath strong enough to cook a couple of boys like you!

Koushiro and Yamato sprint as fast as they can for the safety of the barrier. Koushiro barely makes it inside with Yamato about to follow when Tyranomon lets off a shot of Fire Breath. Unfortunately, the barrier doesn't prevent objects from passing through, so they're both caught up and thrown into the jungle by the explosion.

It also has... other consequences....

Up the mountain, Piccolomon is leading the kids in a meditation session when he hears the explosion. Everyone races outside to see to Yamato and Koushiro.

Tyrannomon enters the jungle. The tree cover hides Yamato and Koushiro, so Tyranomon opens fire blindly. Sending off projectile shots of Fire Breath into the jungle indiscriminately.

A subtle blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment I really like: Koushiro starts falling behind and calls out in fear to Yamato to wait for him.

Koushiro: P-Please wait for me, Yamato-san! Yamato: Hurry, Koushiro!

In the next shot, Yamato is leading Koushiro by the hand so they don't get separated by the huge difference in their stride. Big Brother Yamato is such a good senpai.

The dub downplays this gesture, unfortunately. We still get the shot of Matt leading Izzy by the end, but it doesn't connect the same because the dialogue to set it up is gone. Instead, we have a quip.

Izzy: Didn't I see this guy in one of my nightmares!? Matt: I wish you'd be more careful what you dream!

This doesn't segue into the handholding as directly so it's easier to overlook.

Eventually, the rest of the group finds Yamato and Koushiro, joining them in the jungle.

Gabumon: Yamato! Yamato: (releases Koushiro's hand) Gabumon? Tentomon: This is what you get for leaving me behind! Koushiro: Tentomon! Sora: Are you guys alright!?

XD Sassy Tentomon will never not be funny.

Sadly, his sass doesn't make it into the dub.

Gabumon: Matt! Izzy! Over here! Tentomon: Oh, thank goodness you're safe! T.K.: Oh, hey bro!

There's a cacophany of voices talking at once. Matt and Izzy don't respond to the crowd shouting at them. Those three lines are the ones most audible over the crowd, though T.K. sounds like he's running into Matt at the supermarket.

Fortunately, the group's all together now. Unfortunately, the Dark Network is back up and running in full. You know what that means.

Black Cables surge up through the trees so Etemon can be heard. Etemon takes to his guitar, sending out Love Serenade through the jungle and suppressing the Partner Digimon from being able to evolve. All while Tyrannomon makes his way inward, continuing to fire blindly into the jungle.

In their cave, Taichi and Agumon continue drifting through the mysterious glowing water. They've made it back in the boat, where they lie curled up together and float through memories of human buildings and structures.

Until they come across a bridge. There, they find a visual metaphor for the uncertainty and hesitation gripping Taichi's heart.

A younger Taichi is trying to ride his bicycle, but keeps falling down.

A brief cut back to the world outside shows Piccolomon sustaining a dome barrier to block Tyranomon's Fire Breath from hitting the kids. Looks like they've been made.

Taichi watches his younger self pick the bike back up, but start to cry.

Young Taichi: I can't do it. I can't ride a bicycle. Taichi: Don't give up! You can't quit just because of one or two failures. Don't be so faint-hearted. Believe in yourself. Believe it will work out this time Agumon: Taichi....

Encouraging Taichi's younger self to get back on, Taichi and Agumon hold the bike steady for him while they start running. Then they let go, allowing the young Taichi to ride the bike all by himself.

Young Taichi: I'm pedaling on my own! I can ride a bike! Taichi: I almost forgot, Agumon. I forgot that I can't lose heart. I lost my nerve because I was afraid you'd evolve into a strange Digimon again. Agumon: I felt the same way. That's why I couldn't become Greymon. But it's just like riding a bicycle! If we combine our powers, I feel like I can evolve again!

Taichi and Agumon get back in the boat, taking up the oars and paddling their way back to the others. As they paddle through the mysterious glowing plane, they start hearing the terrified screams of their friends and realize they're needed. Agumon SHINKAAAAAA!!!

During Agumon's transformation, we briefly cut to Piccolomon for a line that, though brief, explains an important detail.

Piccolomon: I can't wait for Taichi and Agumon any longer! I'll have to take care of Tyrannomon myself....

As a Perfect-stage Digimon, Piccolomon is more than capable of shutting down Tyrannomon. He's done nothing but sustain a magic barrier to protect the kids and their drained Digimon because he wants to use this as a training exercise for Taichi and Agumon.

However, at the last second before Piccolomon takes the field, it finally happens. Greymon comically flips Tyrannomon over and charges into the jungle as if he wasn't even there. Letting off blasts of Mega Flame from a distance, Greymon destroys the speakers that were blasting Love Serenade into the jungle.

Then he turns his attention back on Tyrannomon.

Greymon hoists Tyrannomon up into the air, tearing the Black Cables attached to him out of the ground and snapping them from the tension. Then he brings him down into the jungle in a crushing suplex.

We don't see the gory details, but we do see the dust of Tyrannomon degenerating rise into the air from the jungle below, signaling the end of this battle.

To prevent kids from realizing that we just fucking killed that guy, the dub adds some dialogue here. When Greymon first starts lifting Tyrannomon, Sora shouts:

Sora: Greymon's pulling the cables out!

Then, once the degeneration dust emerges from the jungle, we get:

Tai: He did it! Greymon did it! Sora: Look at the Black Cables all shattering into pieces!

What happened to Tyrannomon? Don't think about that. What's important is that Greymon destroyed the Black Cables. That is most certainly what he did, and it's what you're seeing onscreen right now.

Cut to Etemon throwing a tantrum in his trailer.

Etemon: Those children piss me off!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEGH!!!

In the dub:

Etemon: Those rotten kids beat me again! Ugh, I gotta find something easier to beat like some cardboard boxes or something!

XD If it makes you feel better, you got to throttle a Gazimon earlier. Those are way easier to beat!

Now that everyone's back, the group decides it's time to move on from Piccolomon. Quickly.

Taichi: Really. Thank you for everything. Agumon: Thank you for taking care of us. Piccolomon: Don't think your training is over yet pi. Everything in life is training pi. Work hard and never give up pi! Taichi & Agumon: Yes, sir!

Nobody else thanks Piccolomon. I don't think the rest of the team's Yelp reviews are going to be as glowing as Taichi's.

Though they do speak up in the dub.

Matt: Thank you, Piximon! We've learned a lot from you. Joe: Yeah, like how to scrub floors and starve half to death-- Mimi: Joe! That's just Joe's stomach talking. Piximon: Far from over, your training is. Remember, life itself is a training session. Learn all you can. Everyone: RIGHT!

Tai and Agumon only speak up when the camera fixes on them for their "Yes, sir!" moment. For some reason, the dub chose to put everyone else at the forefront of this scene, even though they didn't learn shit.

We close on Piccolomon watching the kids depart his magic jungle.

Piccolomon: Only you can save this world pi. Do your best, Chosen Children PI!

In the dub:

Piximon: They truly are the DigiDestined yep-yep! No doubt have I, for though they are sometimes foolish, I have seen the love in their hearts. With a little luck, they just may succeed and save our Digital World.

Hey, Piximon? Question. What part of the preceding events hinged on "the love in their hearts"? Was it when Matt and Izzy hurt their Partners' feelings by going to the well alone or was it when Sora and Mimi bullied Joe for no reason?

I think the dub is rambling off Generic Good Guy Speech again.

Assessment: With two Crests in one episode, we are ramping towards endgame. The Etemon arc is surprisingly short, lasting only 7 episodes compared to the 13 that Devimon got.

Piccolomon's episode is kind of dull. For all the talk about offering training to everyone, we only really see it with Taichi and Agumon. It feels like he's doing the Wax On Wax Off esoteric martial arts master shtick. However, the purpose of scrubbing his floors is never explained, so it kinda feels like the sharp comments about doing maid service were right.

I'm not going to be hard on literally using "riding a bicycle" for the metaphor because it was the 90's and Japan. I don't remember when that became a tired metaphor and I certainly have no idea if it ever did in Japan. Taichi and Agumon's stuff worked for me. But a lot of the other "training" felt like space filler.

Yamato and Koushiro's segment was gold, however. Their brief discussion on the way to the well, and Yamato grabbing Koushiro's hand as they fled Tyrannomon? Loved that.

The dub nails a few moments, but it's also peppered with continuity mistakes, weird lines, and inexplicable choices. And the triumphant return of adding in dialogue just to be mean to Mimi. Overall, I'd say I'm tepid on this one.

#digimon #digimon adventure #revisiting digimon #revisiting digimon adventure

21 notes · View notes

blackjackkent · 9 months ago

Text

As with Patch 5, I have compiled my favorite Patch 6 patch notes (the exciting ones and the hilarious ones) so you don't have to.

First of all, the Highlights section has some VERY nice QoL changes:

"You can now dismiss a recruited companion from your party while speaking to the companion you want to replace them with." (Fuck yes, this is such a small annoyance but it really adds up over time.)

"When a dialogue triggers automatically, the game will now try to prioritise your avatar character as the main speaker." (I spent literally like half an hour trying to ensure Hector got the conversational lead when walking into the vault with the Stone Lord for my liveblog post, so this fills my heart with DEEP joy.)

"The Elixir of Hill Giant Strength now applies its effects when thrown." (HUGE deal for Hector's party in my liveblog, as @zenjestrr has pointed out to me - Jaheira can hurl it onto Hector, Karlach, and Minsc together!)

Some general happy-making improvements (some for things in Act 3/epilogue that I haven't gotten to yet but which sound very positive):

"Your partner now has a few different kisses! They're brand new, unique, and randomized."

"If you sit on the stool in Shadowheart's camp corner, she will now react to you with a line based on your relation with her."

"Improved the cinematic scenes in the Elfsong Tavern to feel more intimate when you and your romance partner decide your future together after defeating the Netherbrain."

"Reworked the reflection scenes that take place after wrapping up the defeat of the Netherbrain for characters without romantic partners to better match the scenes for those who do have romantic partners, and to bridge the gap into the epilogue."

"Added a new cinematic scene to support the combat encounter that occurs after you choose whether to side with Nightsong at Sorcerous Sundries or not."

"If you romanced Lae'zel, grab a red dragon and saddle up - you can now join her in the rebellion against Vlaakith, even if you are not gith yourself."

"Increased the number of valid methods of knocking Minthara out to recruit her."

"Tooltips for spells requiring concentration now more prominently display a warning if you are already using concentration to maintain another spell."

And now the bits that just made me laugh. XD

"If you Long Rest with only alcohol as camp supplies, you will now get the new Hungover condition for 10 turns."

"The Long Rest camp supply menu is now better at pulling supplies from inside containers in companion inventories. Stop hoarding the cheese, Wyll."

"The owlbear cub will no longer gobble up Auntie Ethel's Hair before you can take advantage of the bonus it grants." (???)

"Creating harmful surfaces beneath NPCs will now trigger a crime reaction."

"Scratch can no longer equip certain weapons. Like the Everburn Blade."

"Jaheira could be in bad shape by the time she arrived at Moonrise Towers since she already had to fight. Now she's smart enough to heal up before she goes there, which we're hoping lets her last at least an additional second in combat."

"Fixed dice roll sounds playing if you have the 'Hide Failed Perception Rolls' setting enabled while exploring. We asked the narrator to quieten down when rolling the dice for your immersion."

"Fixed a bug causing player characters to get deleted from the game after stealing the Blood of Lathander."

"Enemies are now less likely to summon a Skeletal Involucre in range of a Spirit Guardian that will immediately destroy it."

"Nere's Legendary Action now correctly triggers when he is attacked, rather than when he attacks. Cut him some slack - being a True Soul is a lot of pressure; we'd all get confused in his shoes."

"Told Fezzerk to stop throwing his bombs on himself and his allies."

"The Apostle of Myrkul's Finger of Death spell is now treated as a Level 7 spell instead of a cantrip."

"Fixed Steel Watchers sometimes hurting themselves with their own attacks."

"Invisible characters who have something to say in a dialogue will now remember to actually show themselves."

" Throwing NPCs into a chasm will no longer trigger their crime reaction dialogue while they're mid-flight."

"Jaheira could have access to two types of Wild Shape in certain circumstances. We've toned down her blatant disregard for D&D rules."

"Fixed NPC heads occasionally detaching in Forced Turn-Based Mode."

"You can no longer place a corpse into its own inventory."

"Items can only be sent to specific companions in camp if a party member is in camp at the time. Stop sending every +1 dagger to Gale, he's not that hungry."

"NPCs should be a lot less eager to engulf themselves (or their allies) in flames now."

"Fixed NPCs using an incorrect throw range when they can't move. This sometimes caused them to, say, throw explosives on their own heads."

"Fixed NPCs sometimes successfully landing jumps that shouldn't be possible. Like through ceilings."

"You can no longer trade with sleeping characters."

"Fixed overhead dialogues still playing above the souls of dead characters - represented as blue wisps - in the epilogue camp. Lae'zel will no longer urgently proclaim 'Repositioning!' when you make her little wisp move around."

"Killing Omeluum or Blurg of the Society of Brilliance will now break your paladin oath. Because they're nice and you're not."

"Picking up fish from the beach at the Emerald Grove is no longer a crime. They take their vegetarianism very seriously, those druids."

"You can now no longer spawn infinite fish at the Emerald Grove beach. No wonder that bear smells."

"Told Art Cullagh to please stop singing during the combat when Isobel's being abducted."

"You can no longer trade with Voss when he ambushes you at the base of High Hall."

"If you escape prison and then return to your cell and close the door without being noticed by anyone allied to the arresting guards, you will no longer be considered a fugitive."

"Fixed a bug where a status could carry over from the final battle to the beginning of the epilogue, potentially killing the players."

"You can now clean your body and clothes in a fountain in the House of Hope's boudoir. Sometimes it's nice to freshen up before a big event."

"Fixed Scratch not feeling like playing in camp beyond Act I after partying too hard at the camp celebration."

"Minthara no longer speaks more about Shadowheart than Shadowheart does about herself."

"You'll no longer see text telling you that Gale approves of something if he's not even nearby to see what happened."

"Jaheira's memory in her old age was failing her, and she could tell you about Minsc twice if you left her in camp but advanced her quest multiple steps. Now she's much better at remembering what she told you, and will only prompt it the once."

"Good boys Scratch and the owlbear cub will now play together in any camp, not just the main one in the wilderness from Act I."

"Cerys will now leave your camp after the camp celebration in Act I. We know it's sometimes hard to ask the last person to leave the party, so we've done it for you."

"Fixed Rugan being upset with you for trespassing after saving him from impending doom. You're welcome, Rugan."

"Florrick now looks appropriately grimy and sweaty after escaping Waukeen's Rest."

"Lae'zel will no longer become hostile towards you, thinking you left the inquisitor's office in Crèche Y'llek while waiting to fulfil Vlaakith's orders, when you only jumped on one of the platforms in the corner."

"Fixed Smythin in the Goblin Camp sometimes getting stuck in a cowering animation. He's a little braver now."

"Rugan is no longer 'too busy' to thank you after you free him in the Zhentarim Hideout."

"One of the teenagers in the Crèche Y'llek will now tend to his cleaning tasks. He may or may not have been chastised for shirking his duties."

"Fixed a bug with Bernard in the Arcane Tower not giving you a reward if you previously befriended the squirrel in the Emerald Grove."

"Fixed a couple of goblins in the Goblin Camp not really doing much at all if you free Sazza."

"Rotated Barth and Remira near the Emerald Grove gate so they would shout in the right direction."

"The nurses in the House of Healing have remembered that they are capable of speech and will now react to crimes properly."

"Dame Aylin now permits all players to behold her radiance in the cutscene when ascending from the Shadowfell rather than just the one who freed her."

"Isobel and Marcus will no longer stop their epic confrontation at Last Light just because someone commits a petty crime nearby."

"In rare cases, Jaheira could be Frightened in the combat with Ketheric and end up so scared she doesn't show up to resolve the conflict in the Shadow-Cursed Lands. She now overcomes her terror."

"Bards can no longer say they saved Jaheira's Harper scouts when they did no such thing."

"Fixed some guards by the fountain at Last Light who were trying to speak each other's lines."

"Now you can convince Ch'r'ai Har'rak to go away in different ways."

"Mayrina will no longer still be Bloodless in Act III if Astarion bit her in Act I."

"Wyll no longer leaves the party when you commit a crime in the High Hall. With the city in ruin, the petty crime dramatics seemed a little extreme."

"A few more people around Baldur's Gate will notice if an article has been printed about you in the newspaper."

"Lumbar will no longer react as if you didn't pay for the privilege of hitting him if the single strike had different damage types." (Ah this explains why Hector got that weird reaction. XD)

"Vicar Humbletoes will no longer do a weird shrug before praying."

"Prevented Karlach's death scene from triggering if a solo player chooses to detonate while playing as Avatar Gale."

"Fixed Lae'zel talking inaccurately about Ptaris, for example suggesting he's dead when he's... literally right there."

"Auntie Ethel will no longer send you a letter written by Zevlor in the epilogue."

"If you part ways with Shadowheart and hide in the Underdark as a mind flayer, she won't forget and think you've spent the last sixth months together in the epilogue. Classic Shadowheart, always forgetting things."

"The Emperor will no longer send you a cheerful letter in the epilogue camp if you ate his brains."

"You can no longer invite the owlbear cub to live with you and Halsin in the epilogue if you do not, in fact, live with Halsin."

"Fixed avatar characters incorrectly getting assigned the Dream Guardian's skin colour in Character Creation on controller."

"The fish barrels in the Underdark, that clearly look like they have fish in them, now actually contain fish instead of tarts."

"You can no longer casually go walkies in the middle of a chasm in the Decrepit Village in the Underdark."

"Removed a platform in Grymforge that looked like it was accessible and was tricking a few of you into trying to jump on it to access the Gauntlet of Shar."

"You can no longer disappear into a couple of rocks near the mephits in Grymforge. Sorry."

"Added a new animation for Cranium Rats. They can now stand up on their hind leggies."

"Corpses thrown from your inventory now look dead rather than alive. As is right."

"Fixed missing sounds in Active Search. (We found them hidden under some rocks in Act I.)"

"Fixed a basket of onions claiming to be a fruit basket, and other issues with lying baskets."

"Gave the dogs at the Sword Coast Couriers names. Because they're the best boys."

"Lae'zel no longer slides or teleports away during her Epilogue dialogue."

"Made general improvements to Boo's animations. The hamster is a little less jittery."

"Fixed the goblet flying out of your hand when talking to Jaheira at Last Light. We knew you were suspicious of it, but you don't have to be so dramatic."

This is a tiny fraction of the full set of changes/improvements/fixes listed in the patch notes and once again I am tremendously impressed. As I said last time - this game has a breadth of scope and ambition that repeatedly takes my breath away and I am mindboggled at the amount of work being put into it.

Very excited to finish out Act 3 in the coming weeks!

#bjk talks #patch notes #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #patch 6 #larian studios

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