#you don't have to believe me but trying to start some kind of debate over it is a little ridiculous

[emjayewrites]

spin bout u • aurélien tchouaméni request

REQUEST: from @whoevenisthiz — I was wondering if could write me an Aurèlien fic with a bit of a toxic vibe? Like, not an established couple, but more of an intense, messy push-and-pull dynamic—kind of raunchy too, coz you know how I am 😏. I’m not too picky about how it ends; I just think it’d be really cool to see your take on something like this! Thank you in advance Emjay xxx

WARNINGS: toxic!aurelien, cursing, smut. 18+/minors dni

TAGLIST: @trenterprise, @sucredreamer, @pepfectionary, @irishmanwhore, @certifiedlesbianbaddie, @perfecttrashface, @deonn-jaelle, @f1-football-fiend, @julescpu, @peyiswriting, @2serenity0, @greedyjudge2, @queenshikongo3

A/N: Send requests!

The winter air bit at Remy's cheeks as she turned the corner to her apartment building, her boots crunching on the salt-covered sidewalk. Atlanta's usual humidity had given way to an unusual cold snap, the kind that made her miss the warmth of summer. She spotted the sleek black car first, its glossy paint reflecting the glow of the streetlights. Then her eyes fell on him—leaning against the driver's side door, arms crossed, wearing a thick gray Nike sweatsuit with a hood pulled up over his head.

Aurélien.

He looked every bit like trouble, his sweatsuit hung off his frame just right, his sneakers impossibly clean against the slush. He was doing that thing he always did—biting his bottom lip as his gaze flicked up and down her body with deliberate slowness, like he was daring her to react.

Remy stopped dead in her tracks, her grip tightening on her bag, believing him to be some mirage, but unfortunately he was really there. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Aurélien smirked, pushing off the car with lazy confidence. "Miss me?"

She rolled her eyes so hard it almost hurt. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Visiting an old friend," he said simply, his French accent curling around each word like a velvet ribbon, thicker than she remembered. She scoffed at his response. "Ah, but we were never really friends, were we?"

"We weren't really anything," she shot back, even as her heart betrayed her with an irritating flutter.

"That's not how I remember it." His eyes glinted with something unreadable in the streetlight.

"Your memory's selective then." She started walking toward her building's entrance. "What are you doing here? Don't you have a match or something?"

"Postponed." He fell into step beside her, matching her pace easily. "Figured I'd check in on you."

"Check in?" She barked a laugh. "You mean spin the block?"

His smirk widened as he sucked his teeth. "Call it what you want. You gonna let me in, or are we doing this out here?"

"I haven't decided yet," she shot back, even as her feet betrayed her, carrying her closer. "You could have texted first."

"I did. You didn't answer."

Her lips pressed into a thin line. "Maybe that was a hint."

Aurélien straightened up, his hands slipping into his pockets as he took a small step closer. The familiar scent of his cologne mixed with the crisp winter air made her head spin slightly.

"Or maybe," he said, his voice dropping lower, "you were waiting for me to prove I still give a damn."

"You're so full of yourself," she muttered, but there was less bite in her tone than she intended.

"And yet, here we are." His eyes softened just enough to make her defenses waver. "Can we go inside? It's cold as fuck out here."

She stared at him for a long moment, debating whether to leave him standing there or give in to whatever this was. Her pride told her to walk away, but curiosity—and something else she wasn't ready to name—won out.

The tension in her apartment was thick as she dropped her designer bag on the counter and kicked off her boots. Aurélien stood by the door, his hands still in his pockets, trying to play it cool but his eyes following her every move.

"You didn't have to come all this way," she said, keeping her tone casual as she grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Didn't I?"

"It's been months, Aurélien." She took a long sip of water, trying to ignore the intensity of his gaze. "Why now?"

"Maybe I missed you."

"Don't."

"Don't what? Be honest?"

Remy set her water down harder than necessary. "You can't just show up here and say things like that."

"You watch my matches," he said suddenly.

That made her head cock in confusion. "Excuse me?"

His smile was knowing. "Your likes on Twitter show up, you know. Three in the morning your time, watching Madrid games."

"Insomnia," she said flatly. "Your boring-ass matches put me right to sleep." Remy let out an irritated huff. "You should leave."

He moved into her space, not touching but close enough that she could smell his cologne. "If you really wanted me gone, you wouldn't have let me up."

"Maybe I just want to tell you off properly." She tilted her chin up defiantly. "Private event, you know?"

"Maybe," he stepped closer, his eyes darkening, "you missed this too."

"This?" She gestured between them. "What's 'this'? The part where you show up whenever you feel like it and expect me to just fall in line? Or the part where you disappear for months when things get too real?"

Something flickered in his expression – a crack in the smooth façade. "That's not fair."

"Neither is showing up at my apartment in fucking Atlanta when you should be in fucking Madrid." She crossed her arms. "What happened? Your usual rotation got boring?"

"You want to talk about running?" His voice dropped lower, an edge creeping in. "How about those unanswered messages? Those declined calls? The way you acted like what happened between us was nothing?"

"Because it was nothing," she lied through her teeth. "A few weeks of fun. Ancient history."

He laughed, but it wasn't amused. "You're still a terrible liar, Remy."

"And you're still way too convinced of your own importance."

The air between them grew heavier with each passing second. She hated how well he could still read her, how easily he could slip past her carefully constructed walls.

"What do you want from me?" she asked finally, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I want to talk, bébé."

"Talk?" she repeated, incredulous. "You flew across the Atlantic to ‘talk’? Nigga, kindly go to hell."

Instead of backing away like a normal person, Aurélien had the audacity to smile, as per usual. He loved the toxicity between them just as much as she loved when he—

Don’t do that, Remy. Not right now, girl.

"You know that you miss this, mon bébé. Or do I have to remind you? I mean I just came here to talk but if you want…"

"I thought we were done with this," she said, but her voice lacked conviction.

"Do you really believe that?" His hand reached out, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "Because I don’t."

She searched his face for any sign of the old Aurélien—the one who kept everything surface-level, who never let anyone too close. Instead, she found something new: hope, mixed with a touch of fear that matched her own.

Her breath hitched, and before she could overthink it, she grabbed the front of his sweatshirt and yanked him down into a kiss.

The rest of their conversation dissolved into heat and frustration and the kind of chemistry that always seemed to burn too hot.

Aurélien’s hands roamed her body like he was trying to memorize every curve, every dip. He backed her up against the counter, his lips moving to her neck as her fingers tugged at his sweatshirt.

"Remy," he murmured against her skin, his voice thick with want.

"Don’t think this means anything," she said, her nails dragging down his chest as she arched into him. "It just been awhile."

He pulled back just enough to smirk down at her, his eyes dark and teasing. "Keep telling yourself that."

She shoved him, but he only laughed, his hands gripping her waist as he lifted her onto the counter.

"Aurélien—"

"Say my name again," he interrupted, his lips brushing hers before trailing lower.

"Don’t push your luck," she shot back, though her voice wavered.

He didn’t answer, but the way he looked at her, like she was the only thing he needed in that moment, was almost too much. And Remy knew that by the night’s end, he will have her screaming his name multiple times.

When he finally slid his hands under her thighs, pulling her closer with a possessive grip, all she could do was hold on tight and hope she didn’t regret this later.

Remy’s hands tugged at the hem of his sweatshirt, yanking it over his head with an impatient huff. "Why do you always wear so many damn layers?" she muttered, her fingers already working at the waistband of his sweatpants.

"Maybe I like making you work for it," he quipped, biting his bottom lip as she shoved the fabric down his hips, revealing the sharp lines of his abs and the curve of his erection straining against his boxers.

She didn’t dignify him with a response, instead pulling her own top over her head and tossing it aside. His gaze immediately dropped to her chest, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip.

"You got a new tattoo?" he asked, his voice dropping a notch as his fingers brushed the delicate ink just below her collarbone—a minimalist design of a crescent moon intertwined with flowers.

"Noticed that, huh?" she said, her voice light, but her breath hitched as his lips replaced his fingers, pressing a warm, open-mouthed kiss over the tattoo.

"You always did like pretty things," he murmured, his tongue tracing the curve of the ink. "Guess I shouldn’t be surprised."

His hands slid down to her waist, gripping the waistband of her leggings. With one swift motion, he tugged them down, leaving her bare except for a pair of black lace panties. He let out a low hum of approval as his hands trailed along her thighs, his thumbs brushing the soft skin.

When he dropped to his knees, Remy’s breath caught. Aurélien’s eyes locked onto hers, a wicked smirk curling his lips. "I missed this," he said, pressing a kiss to her inner thigh. "Missed the way you taste."

"Then stop talking and do something about it," she shot back, her voice more breathless than she’d like.

He chuckled, low and rough, before pulling her panties down with deliberate slowness. The cool air hit her skin just as his warm breath followed, and then his tongue was on her, licking a long, slow stripe up her center.

Remy’s hands flew to his hair, her fingers tangling in the curls as he worked her with maddening precision. His tongue teased and explored, alternating between broad strokes and focused flicks that had her arching her back and moaning his name.

"Aurélien—oh, my god."

"Say it again," he murmured against her, his voice vibrating against her most sensitive spot.

She did, over and over, her voice trembling as he pushed her closer to the edge. But just as the tension coiled tight enough to snap, he pulled back, leaving her gasping in frustration.

"What the hell—"

"Where do you want me to fuck you?" he interrupted, his voice dark and commanding.

Her mind scrambled to keep up, her body still throbbing from the near-release. "The couch," she managed, her voice breathless.

He grinned, standing and pulling her with him. "Good choice."

Aurélien led her to the couch, his hands firm on her hips as he bent her over the armrest. His lips found her spine, trailing kisses down her back until he reached her ass. He spread her open with his hands, groaning softly.

"Fuck, Remy," he muttered, his voice tinged with reverence and hunger. He spat on her, the slick sound followed by the warmth of his tongue as he devoured her from behind.

Remy moaned, her fingers digging into the couch cushions as he worked her over, his grip on her hips bruising. "You’re such an asshole," she gasped, her words dissolving into a whimper as he sucked on her clit.

"And you’re still letting me eat your pussy," he shot back, his voice muffled.

She didn’t have a response, not when his tongue was doing sinful things that made her toes curl. Just when she thought she couldn’t take any more, he pulled back again, his hands sliding down her thighs.

"You miss me, don’t you?" he asked, his tone mocking but with an edge of sincerity.

"No," she said, though the breathiness of her voice made it sound more like a lie.

"You do," he said, pressing the tip of his dick against her folds. He teased her entrance, tapping the head against her clit before sliding it through her slickness. "You missed this. Missed me. Admit it."

She threw a glare over her shoulder. "Fuck you."

"That’s the plan." He pushed into her slowly, filling her inch by inch until her head dropped forward, a soft curse spilling from her lips.

"Aurélien—"

"Yeah," he said, gripping her hips as he started to move. "Say my name, Remy. Let me hear how much you missed me."

Her response was a series of moans, her body meeting his thrusts as he set a punishing rhythm. His fingers dug into her skin, anchoring her in place as he drove into her, his dirty talk pouring out like a confession.

"Feel so good, baby," he murmured, his voice thick. "So tight. So wet. Fuck, I’m not letting you go again. You hear me?"

She whimpered, her body arching into him. "You’re so—"

"Say it," he interrupted, slamming into her harder. "Say my name, Remy."

She cried out, her voice trembling as she obeyed, the sound of his name like a prayer on her lips.

His movements grew erratic, his breath hot against her shoulder as he leaned over her, his chest brushing her back. "Where do you want it?" he asked, his voice rough and urgent.

"Inside me," she answered without hesitation.

He groaned, his hips stuttering as he thrust deep, spilling into her with a final, shuddering moan.

Aurélien’s weight settled over her as they caught their breath, their bodies tangled together on her couch. The quiet hum of the city outside seeped through the windows, but neither of them moved, too lost in the afterglow to care about anything else.

Remy trailed her fingers lazily across his shoulder, tracing the faint scars and ridges she’d come to memorize. Her mind was a jumble of satisfaction and irritation—the two emotions he always managed to pull out of her in equal measure.

Aurélien shifted, his lips brushing against her temple as he murmured, "You’re quiet."

"That’s called peace," she said, her tone dry. "Something I had before you decided to drop in uninvited."

He chuckled softly, his hand sliding down her side to rest on her hip, possessive even now. "You didn’t seem too upset a few minutes ago."

She rolled her eyes, though the flush on her cheeks betrayed her. "Momentary lapse in judgment."

"Is that what we’re calling it?" He shifted, propping himself up on one elbow to look down at her, his smirk firmly in place.

Remy swatted at his chest, trying not to smile. "Don’t you have a plane to catch or something? A very long one back to Madrid, preferably."

"I’ll be in Atlanta for three more days," he said, his voice taking on that infuriatingly confident tone again.

"Lucky me."

" Very," he said, brushing his thumb across her bottom lip. "Saint Bene. Eight tomorrow."

She sighed, tilting her head to glare at him. "You’re relentless, you know that?"

His grin widened, and he leaned down to kiss her once more, slow and unhurried, as though he had all the time in the world. When he pulled back, his dark eyes held hers, amusement and sincerity mingling there.

"I’ll see you tomorrow."

Remy groaned as he rolled off the couch and started gathering his clothes. She stayed sprawled where she was, her body still humming from his touch, even as her mind screamed at her to push him away.

When the door clicked shut behind him, she sat up and reached for her phone.

A text came through almost immediately: "Goodnight, ma belle. Sleep well."

Her fingers hesitated over the screen before typing back: "The audacity you have is astronomical. "

His response came just as quickly: "You love it though. Don’t forget to wear something nice."

Remy stared at the phone, letting her head fall back against the couch with a groan. She already knew she was going to dinner tomorrow. Already knew exactly what dress she’d wear.

"Fuck," she muttered into the empty apartment, finally admitting defeat.

That’s how it always was with them—a constant push and pull, a dance on the edge of something they both refused to name.

[cuteselle]

⊱ 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐱.

𝓢 — enha maknae line saying you remind them of their ex in an argument

maknae line 𖹭 fem reader , angst , cussing , breakup in riki , u don't let it slide w jungwon , not proofread — 991 wc

ac 𖧷 .. when fluff comes yk i gotta double it w angst! this isn't that good because i haven't written it in months.. enjoy!

YANG JUNGWON ᰋ you and jungwon had been bickering all evening, and the tension in the room was thick. it felt like every little thing was setting the other off, and you were both getting more and more frustrated by the minute. as the argument escalated, jungwon's frustration finally boiled over. "you've been ditching our dates for two weeks, this is the first time i've seen you!" you yelled, not minding the fact that everyone else was only upstairs.

“oh my god yn, you're acting like my ex can you calm down?” he snapped, his words cutting deep. your eyes widened in disbelief at his words, and you felt a rush of anger and hurt. "i can't believe you just said that," you shot back, your voice shaking with emotion. "i'm not going to stand here and take that kind of disrespect."

jungwon looked taken aback by your reaction, but he didn't back down. "well, maybe if you weren't acting like her, i wouldn't have said it," he retorted, his voice defensive. you felt your anger rising, and you knew you needed to get some space before things got even worse. that's when jake had stepped down, listening to the argument and debating when to step in.

"i need you to leave," you said firmly, trying to keep your voice steady. jungwon looked at you in surprise, but he didn't argue. he grabbed his jacket and headed for the door, but before he left, he turned back to you. "yeah okay," he said, his voice softening slightly. "we can talk about this when we've both had a chance to cool off."

you didn't respond as he walked out the door, and you heard the click of the lock as he left and slammed the door. you fell to your knees, feeling exhausted and drained from the argument. everyone quickly rushing downstairs to your side, “aish, don't cry yn.. i'm sure he'll come around, yeah?”

KIM SUNOO ᰋ “really, sunoo? it's not even that big of a deal, he's my friend.” you continued, running your hands through your hair. you've known gyuvin longer than sunoo, so why would be be so mad that you want to hang with your friend every now and then?

“do you not see the way he looks at you? it pisses me off,” he started, you and sunoo had been arguing for at least an hour, and you could feel the tension building between you. you were both getting more and more frustrated, and it felt like every word was just adding fuel to the fire. "you're acting like giselle, she always said he was just a friend." he snapped, his voice filled with frustration.

your heart sank at his words, and you felt a wave of hurt wash over you. giselle was sunoo's ex, and he had always spoken of her in negative terms. to hear him compare you to her was like a knife to the heart. “how could you say that?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. "you know how much it hurts me to be compared to her.”

sunoo looked away, his jaw clenched. "i'm sorry, my love" he muttered. "i didn't mean it, i swear." but the damage had already been done. you could feel yourself starting to overthink, wondering if sunoo still had feelings for giselle, or if he thought you were just as bad as she was. you knew you needed some space to clear your head.

"i think i need some time alone," you said, your voice still shaking with emotion. "i'm going to go for a walk." you grabbed your jacket and walked out the door, not looking back as you headed down the street. you didn't know how long you would be gone, but you knew you needed to sort through your thoughts before you could face sunoo again.

NISHIMURA RIKI ᰋ you and ni-ki had been arguing for what felt like hours. it had started out as a small disagreement about household chores, but it had quickly spiraled out of control. you were both tired from a long day at work, and your tempers were short. you felt like you were doing more than your fair share of the chores, while ni-ki felt like you were nitpicking and being overly critical.

the more you tried to explain your perspective, the more defensive ni-ki became, and before long, you were both shouting at each other. you knew that this wasn't productive, but you couldn't seem to stop yourself from engaging in the argument. “ni-ki it isn't that hard to just clean up around the house, i get you're busy but sometimes you're doing nothing!”

"you're acting just like my ex, can you quit it?" he spat, his words cutting deep. “i clean around, i tell you i'll do things later.” he continued on this rant, but you were still stuck on one thing. you? acting like his ex? he must have just hated you then cause he hated his ex with his heart. your heart sank at his words, and you felt like you had been punched in the gut. you knew how much ni-ki had been hurt by his past relationship, and to hear him compare you to his ex was the ultimate blow.

"if i'm such a terrible girlfriend, then maybe we should just break up," you cut him off, your voice trembling with emotion. "if that's how you feel, then there's no point in continuing this relationship.” you turned around to get your bag, ni-ki's eyes widened in surprise, and he immediately tried to backtrack.

"baby, i didn't mean it like that," he stammered, trying to apologize. "i was just upset, i didn't mean to hurt you.” you scoffed, opening the door to what was your shared apartment. “well you did, i won't be a burden to you anymore.” you took off the promise ring he gave you, and his eyes swelled with tears. “bye riki.”

© copyrighted by cuteselle. do not repost, ask to translate. comments and reblogs appreciated !

[more-than-fluff]

Unexpected Desires

Jungkook x Y/N

Genre - College Romance/Smut

Summary - You and Jungkook have been college roommates for the past year. You have been spending a lot of time with your boyfriend lately even if you had finals around the corner. Tonight was one of the nights, however it didn't go the way you had planned.

Notes - Please be kind! I wanted to write something to get me into the swing of writing again! If you have any requests please let me know.

You and Jungkook have been college roommates for the past year. You have been spending a lot of time with your boyfriend lately even if you had finals around the corner. Tonight was one of the nights, however it didn't go the way you had planned.

"You're back early." Jungkook says, looking up at you from the couch. You close the door behind you and step into the room. You try to hide your sobs as you say.

"...he...he cheated on me."

Jungkook turned to you instantly, his eyes widening. He took one look on your face and stood, stepping closer to you unsure how to handle this scenario.

"He what?" He asks, his voice tense, "He cheated on you?" His voice remains gentle, but a hint of anger comes through. All you can do is nod as you burst into tears.

Jungkook takes a deep breath, trying to reign in his anger. No matter how much anger he feels against the man who hurt you, right now, you are all that matters.

"Come here" He kneels down to your level and gently wraps his arms around you to hold you close, rubbing your back and pulling you into his chest. "It's going to be okay." He says softly, trying to soothe you.

"I broke up with him, I had no choice." You say into his chest as he holds you close, you can't stop the tears from falling.

"Shhhh." He says, running his fingers through your hair, "I know, it's okay, just let it out. It's going to be okay."

He hugs you tightly and continues to hold you, rubbing your back and running his fingers through your hair. It's clear that he's trying to remain strong for you, because he knows how much you're hurting right now.

When the tears finally stop, Jungkook is still holding you, not wanting to let you go just yet. He rubs your back and sighs, finally releasing the breath he didn't know he was holding.

"I know... I know it hurts now, but I promise it's going to be okay," He says softly, "You did the right thing." He's not just saying it because it's what you want to hear either, he genuinely means it.

"I just don't understand, why did he do it? I thought we were fine."

"I know... I know." Jungkook says with a small sigh, his voice soothing you, "But some guys just don't know how good they have it until it's gone."

He gently rubs your back, moving a few stray hairs away from your face. He wants to wipe the tears from your eyes, but he refrains, because he doesn't want to add to the uncomfortable feeling of having just cried on him. "You're an amazing women, and he was lucky to have you."

You look up to him, "...not good enough." Tears start to fall again.

Jungkook can't hide the hurt in his eyes as he hears your response. He hates seeing you blame yourself for something that has nothing to do with you.

"No, no." He says firmly, "That's not true at all." This time, he does reach up to wipe the tears away. He looks down into your eyes, trying to make sure that you believe what he's saying. "You're not to blame for what happened."

A sob escapes you, "Then why did he do it? There must be something wrong with me.."

"Shhhh." He murmurs, gently rubbing your back again. "The problem was with him, not you. He cheated because he's a jerk."

Jungkook wants to shout, to tell you just how wrong you are. But he doesn't want to overwhelm you right now, and he certainly doesn't want to get into a debate over it. "Just know that you're the perfect women, and he's an idiot for not realizing it."

Another sob escapes, "I hate him Jungkook."

"I know, sweetheart." He says softly, rubbing your back, "I hate him too."

He wants to say more, but he knows it's too soon. "Shhh. Just take a deep breath. Everything's going to be alright. I promise."

You try to calm yourself but the tears won't stop. "I'm sorry."

"Shhhhh. It's okay. Really, it is…" he continues to rub your back gently.

"You don't have to apologize. But you have to promise me something."

You look up to him, waiting for him to speak.

"Promise me that you won't let him make you doubt yourself. That you're not going to take any of the blame for what happened. It's all on him. Do you understand?"

You look down, processing the question. "But..."

"No buts." He says firmly, his voice is gentle, but he's not backing down. He wants you to understand just how much of the blame falls on your ex, and he wants you to stop shouldering any of it yourself. He places a finger under your chin and lifts it gently so that you are looking at him, "Understand?"

You nod and let your head fall back into his chest.

"Good." Jungkook says, his voice soft again as he hugs you tightly. He doesn't move, continuing to hold you, still gently rubbing your back and soothing you.

"I'll be right here with you. You're going to be okay." he continues to whisper, hoping that he's getting through to you.

You hold him close for a few minutes. The sound of your phone snaps you out and you pick it up. You see your ex's name light up and look to Jungkook

"Hm?" Jungkook looks down at your phone, taking note of your exes name on the screen. He glances back up to your eyes, a frown on his face.

"Is he texting you right now?" He asks quietly, a slight edge of anger in his voice.

"...yeah." You open your phone and read the text. It's not a positive one. He's calling you all sorts for breaking up with him.

Jungkook watches you open the text, a wave of anger hits him. He can't believe the nerve of your ex, calling you names and acting so entitled when he's the one in the wrong. If he'd had any respect for you or the relationship, he would have never cheated.

"He's… really doing this. Now?" He asks quietly, barely containing the rage rising inside him.

You stay silent, a single tear runs down your cheek. Making you feel like you're the one to blame for this once again

"Hey." He gently brushes the tear away with his thumb. "Don't cry."

No matter how much he wants to call your ex every name in the book right now, he forces himself to be gentle and soothing with you. Because right now, you're hurting, and you need kindness and not the harshness of his anger.

You whisper "He says it's my fault that he had to go to another woman. I wasn't doing enough for him."

"That's bullshit." He breathes, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment.

Jungkook wants to take your phone and message your ex himself. He wants an even chance to be able to tell him just how much of an ass he is. But he resists the urge and focuses on soothing you again.

"Hey, listen to me." He says softly, "It is not your fault at all." His tone is firm, but gentle.

"What if he's right. I've been so busy with my finals that I haven't been giving him all of my attention."

Jungkook doesn't hesitate before answering your question. "No, he's not right at all."

He shifts his hands so that he's cupping your face, gently forcing you to focus on him instead of his phone.

"Your school work is important. In fact, if I remember correctly, I'm pretty sure you got a 100 on the last exam we took. That deserves praise and recognition. It isn't your fault that he couldn't be patient and support you."

You look up to him, feeling his hands cup your face and smile a little. "I worked hard for that 100."

He feels some relief when you smile, it means you're slowly getting past your ex and his manipulation.

"You did. And I'm really proud of you for it." He smiles back at you, wanting to encourage this happy and optimistic mood. He doesn't want your ex's words to take over. It took all his self-control not to snap at your ex, but he refuses to let him hurt you any further.

Your phone dings once more and before you can look. Jungkook grabs ahold of it

He catches your phone before you can read the message from your ex, not wanting you to see it and feel any more hurt.

He doesn't say a word though, he just takes the phone out of your hand and sets it to the side, not even bothering to look at what was sent. He doesn't care what your ex has to say, or how he's trying to justify his actions and shift the blame on to you. He knows it's wrong and that's all that matters.

"Don't worry about him." He says, still gentle and calm.

You look at him once more. "What do I do?"

"Ignore him." He says, as if it's the most obvious answer. "He's an idiot, and you've made it perfectly clear that you don't want to talk to him right now."

He shifts himself to move a little closer, closing the distance between them. "And I'm here for you." As he's talking, he holds onto your wrists, gently rubbing your knuckles with his thumbs.

You watch him rub our hand. "Okay."

"Promise me something?" He asks softly, "Don't let him get in your head. He's just a manipulative prick who can't even handle the consequences of his own actions." He doesn't know how else to describe him, so he just resorts to insulting him.

You nod at him. "I promise."

"Good." He says with a small smile.

He seems relieved that you're starting to realize the situation for what it is, and that you aren't going to fall for your ex's manipulation and blame yourself.

"Now," He continues, shifting himself to a more comfortable position. "Did you eat dinner yet?"

You shake your head. "No."

"I thought not." He says simply.

"I'm going to go make something. If you want, you can join me and we can eat dinner together." He offers up the option, figuring that it might distract you from how much an ass your ex is.

"...okay" You smile a little at how kind he's being right now.

He smiles back, genuinely happy to see the smile on your face again, even if it is faint and hesitant. He seems a little bit relieved that you're feeling better as he stands up from the couch.

"I'll just go and get started. Do you want something specific?" He asks, moving over to the kitchen.

"Everything you make is good."

"Okay." He says with a soft smile, turning away from you and moving his way around the kitchen. Jungkook is good at cooking, both because he was taught well and also because he's genuinely interested in cooking.

He gets to work, his back to you. After a while, you hear him humming a tune under his breath as he cooks. You sit at the counter and watch him work his magic.

As he cooks, he seems to be getting more relaxed and comfortable, enjoying working with the food. He feels like he can let his mind relax a little bit since you're there with him.

He keeps humming to himself, not really looking at you. But every so often, he glances back at your direction, taking small glances and smiling when your eyes meet.

The humming eventually turns into singing as he cooks. His voice isn't bad, but it's also not professional. He doesn't seem to care though, he keeps singing. You smile as you hear his voice. It almost soothes you after everything that happened today

He keeps singing as he cooks and eventually gets done with the cooking process.

Jungkook then puts a plate together, grabbing a fork and knife and setting them down. He turns around to put the plate in front of you. "Here you go."

You look at the plate set in front of you and it looks delicious. "Thank you."

"Mhm." He says simply, standing there watching you eat. He just wants to make sure that you get some food in your system.

Jungkook feels relief wash over him as you start eating. Sure, you're still heartbroken over your ex, but at least you're having something to eat.

"Feeling a little better now?" He asks softly, hoping that you've managed to process enough to start to feel a little bit better.

You nod. "A little, thank you."

"Good." He smiles at you, his hands moving into his pockets as he watches you.

Jungkook remains quiet for a bit, trying to process everything you just went through with your ex. After a moment, he speaks again.

"Do you feel like you may be able to get some sleep soon?" He asks. It's getting late, and your finals are fast approaching.

You take a deep breath, "I guess, I don't think I can do the exam. I haven't studied."

Jungkook shakes his head. "No no, you have to do the exam. You will do fine." He reassures, his voice firm but still gentle.

He's not going to let you flunk out of your exam based on some stupid, cheating ex. "You studied hard enough for the last exam and got a 100. There's no reason you shouldn't be just as capable this time around."

"My head is just scrambled I guess."

"It's understandable. Your head is probably still hurting after the breakup." He admits.

Jungkook sits down next to you. "But I don't want you to fail your exam because of some prick. You need to take the exam and pass it."

He pauses, looking at you for a moment. "And tomorrow, once the exam is behind you, we can do whatever you want. Deal?"

You look at him. "Okay, deal."

"Good." Jungkook smiles at you. The relief of seeing you start to agree with him is enough to make him happy. He's not going to let you flunk out of a perfectly valid exam just because of a breakup. "Now, get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning…"

"Okay." You stand and go to wash your dishes.

"Oh, you-… You don't have to wash the dishes." Jungkook offers up, standing up as well.

"I'll clean them up. Please go relax," He asks, his hands moving to take the plate from you.

"It's okay, I don't mind." You take the plate and start to wash it, "It's my way of saying thank you."

"No no, seriously," He argues.

"I don't mind doing them. You should go relax." He continues, trying to ease the plate out of your hands.

"Jungkook please, I can do them." You say, a little irritated.

"Fine, fine." He finally gives in.

Jungkook lets you keep the plate, and he watches you wash it. He's curious though how much is because you want to do it and how much of it is because you actually did want to wash the dishes. "Really, you don't need to do this… I'll do them."

You continue to wash the dishes, not answering him. You scrub hard, too hard. Your emotions getting the better of you He notices you scrubbing harder than should be necessary. He pauses, and watches you in a concerned and soft way. He reaches his hand out to stop you from scrubbing so hard, putting one hand on your wrist. He doesn't say anything yet, just watching you.

You try to fight him but he's much stronger than you, "I can do them!"

He continues to grip your wrist, stopping you from scrubbing.

"I know you can." He says. "But I think you're being a little too hard on the dishes and yourself."

You start to sob, "...I can do them."

Jungkook's gaze softens as he sees your emotions getting the better of you and the start of a sob.

"Hey, hey…" He speaks up, his voice soft and gentle. "Slow down."

Jungkook takes you into a hug now, hugging you close.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You're tired, mentally and emotionally drained."

You sob quietly in his arms again, "…why… why did he do this..?"

"Because he's an idiot." He says, his voice sharp with disdain. "Someone selfish and childish who can't take responsibility for his own shitty actions."

He can feel you shaking in his arms. He wants to help ease your pain as much as he can.

You stay in his arms as you ask, "Can I sleep in your bed tonight? I don't want to be alone."

His eyes widen when you ask to share his bed. His mind races to thoughts he's been suppressing for a while, but he tries his best to not express them.

Jungkook nods, still keeping you in his arms.

"Of course." He says, almost in a whisper.

You hold onto him, "Thank you."

He smiles faintly.

Jungkook's mind is buzzing with thoughts now though. Does she want to sleep in the same bed because she's scared? Or because she wants to spend more time with him?

He knows he's probably reading to much into the situation. But he can't help but wonder. Once you calm down you start getting ready to sleep. You feel so tired after today that the bed has never sounded better.

He watches as you get ready, letting his eyes wander freely over your frame. You probably aren't aware of it, but he's been staring at your figure, taking in every single detail. The smooth skin of your shoulders, the curves of your back.

But he snaps out of it, reminding himself that he needs to be respectful. He's not going to act the way your ex did and take advantage of you when you're at your most vulnerable.

You stand near the sofa where he's sat, "I'm gonna head to bed, are you sure I can sleep in yours? I can use mine if you don't want me to."

"No you can share my bed." He says simply, not wanting to push you away in a situation like this.

"Okay, thanks."

"Mhm." He mumbles back, opening the door for you.

Jungkook waits for you to step inside the bed room before finally closing the door, making sure you're safe inside.

He sighs and starts to undress. He knows he probably shouldn't be sharing a bed with you, but he just doesn't have it in him to tell you no right now.

You climb into his bed and it feels so much better than yours.

Jungkook finishes changing and then gets into bed, the two of you laying under the same covers. He's laying on his side, his body pointing away from you so that he doesn't invade your personal space.

But being in the same bed is enough for him. Even that is better than being completely separate right now.

You get comfortable almost instantly and feel yourself falling asleep.

Jungkook's eyes are closed, as he tries to fall asleep. He's doing his best to ignore the closeness between the two of you, even if you're both on different sides of the bed.

It feels weird being this close to you like this, the warmth from your body next to his. He feels so much tension build back up in his stomach and his heart rate quicken.

Jungkook shifts to a more comfortable position and shuts his eyes again, trying to focus on breathing and forcing himself to sleep.

___________________________________

The light fills the room and it wakes you. You look at the time and prepare yourself for your finals exam. Jungkook is woken up just as you are from the bright rays of the sun. He looks over at the clock and sighs. He wasn't able to get much sleep last night, having been too agitated and filled with tension because of your intimate proximity.

He moves to sitting up. His shoulders are tense, and his stomach hurts. He runs his hands through his hair, trying to make it more presentable before standing up.

You shower and mentally prepare yourself for the day. Hoping that it goes a lot better than yesterday.

Jungkook does the same, his thoughts a bit of a mess. He's anxious about the exam, but his nervous thoughts keep drifting back to the fact that he spent the night sharing a bed with you.

He finishes getting ready, his hair damp and his body feeling like its being pulled in a million different directions at once.

You grab your bag and look at Jungkook. "Ready?"

"Mhm." he mumbles.

Jungkook's face has this neutral look on it, but his mind is racing with thoughts and emotions towards you. He keeps his feelings buried inside him, trying to get back to his neutral self.

"Let's go." He adds.

Once outside, he follows you to the exam hall. His mind is racing with thoughts though. He has an exam to pass, and he doesn't even have his head in the game. Everything he's thinking about is in regards to you.

He keeps his eyes forward, trying to suppress the distracting thoughts. He doesn't want to give himself away until after the exam, but even that will be difficult.

He continues to stay close to you as you walk towards the hall. Once outside the entrance you turn and look at Jungkook. "Ready to ace this?"

"I am." He nods, trying to keep his emotions out of his voice.

"Let's do this." He smiles half-heartedly, his mind still wandering to thoughts of you.

He continues to stay close to you, his heartbeat starting to quicken again.

You smile at himYou take the exam with ease. Jungkook was right about you not needing to worry. You finish with a few minutes to spare. You look around and see Jungkook, his face covered in concentration and you can't help but smile at him and walk inside, taking your named seat and wait for the exam to start.

Jungkook follows you in, finding his own seat with his name on it. He leans back on his seat and settles his hands in his lap. He's anxious and nervous, but he reminds himself that the next few hours are all about performing at his best for the exam. Nothing else matters.

The exam begins, and you both start to write in your answers. You're both focused on it, even though a part of you just wants it to end to go back to the comfort of each other's company. You take the exam with ease. Jungkook was right about you not needing to worry. You finish with a few minutes to spare. You look around and see Jungkook, his face covered in concentration and you can't help but smile at him

Jungkook is also near the end of his exam. When he sees you smile at him, he feels a moment of weakness when he should be focused on the exam. But he can't help but smile back and give you a quick wave.

He looks back at the exam, trying to stay focused as he finishes filling in his last minute answers. He glances at you every once in a while, but he tries not to let his eyes wander too often as to distract himself further.

"Okay times up." You turn to the professor as he starts to collect the papers.

You both finally hand in your papers, and make your way out of the exam hall. You're both so relieved and tired, both mentally and physically drained.

Jungkook walks next to you, his arm casually brushing against yours. He takes deep breaths, his nerves and anxiety slowly subsiding now that the exam is over.

"How did it go for you?" You ask looking up at him.

"I think I did alright." He shrugs his shoulders. "I don't feel terribly confident, but I did finish all the questions."

He looks at you and nods approvingly. "How about you? How do you feel about the exam?"

You smile. "Easy as always."

He gives you a light smile back.

"Good to hear that you found it easy." He says softly.

"I take it you finished in time too, then?" He asks, his tone playful as he teases you a little.

You chuckle, "Had a few minutes to spare."

"Oh, I'm impressed." He plays along with the joke, giving you a light and teasing smirk.

"So what's next for the day?" He asks, his tone still light as he shifts the topic.

"I don't know, maybe a celebratory drink? We did just finish our final exam of the semester"

"I'll take any excuse to celebrate, as long as I have good company." He smiles lightly, his flirtatious tone returning as he plays into the playful energy you're giving him.

"So drink it is? I don't know about you, but I could use a beer right now."

You nod and take hold of his arm. "Me too."

Jungkook chuckles slightly as you take hold of his arm, and he can feel himself being pulled along by you.

He likes the physical contact, even if it isn't much. The slight touching of your arm is enough to get his heart beating faster. He doesn't want to show it too much though, even if he can't help but smile back at you.

"Lead the way then." He says, his voice still playful with a teasing tone.

You walk together to your favourite bar, it's full of other students celebrating. Jungkook follows you, walking beside you and taking in the festivities around you both. It's clear that all the students who just finished the exam were feeling pretty celebratory.

"They're really trying to get wasted, huh?" He says with a chuckle, watching some guys down shots together.

You laugh. "I think we have some catching up to do."

"Yeah, I think we do." He adds playfully, starting to slow down slightly as you approach the bar area.

He follows you over to the bar, watching people pour themselves drinks. Everyone has their drinks, it seems, and many are trying to make their shot's last longer, using chasers and such.

"What do you want to get?" He asks you, letting his hand brush your lower back momentarily when he speaks to you.

"You choose." You say, leaning on the bar.

He thinks for a minute, looking over the different drinks on display.

"Beer or something stronger?" He asks, his finger absently tracing patterns on the bar counter as he contemplates the choice between the two.

"I think we deserve something stronger."

"I like that logic." He whispers softly.

He looks at the stronger drinks lined up on the counter. His eyes immediately land on the tequila, and his mouth waters slightly at the thought of it.

"Can I get a shot of tequila, please?" he says to the bartender.

The bartend starts to pour the shot, and Jungkook grabs a couple of glasses for water, which the bartender delivers to him along with the shot of tequila.

You pick up the shot and hold it in the air, "To finishing exams and shitty relationships!"

He raises his shot in the air as well, a slight grin on his face.

"Cheers to that!" He grins, the playful energy between the two of you making each glass clink sound more energetic than it should.

He downs his shot of tequila. The liquor is strong and burns his throat, but he does his best to hide his reaction.

You laugh at his reaction and ask the bartender for one more

He watches you as you order another round of shots. A light smile crosses his face when he sees you laugh at his reaction to the tequila.

Jungkook takes his glass of water. He doesn't want to get plastered off his one shot of liquor, so he opts for water.

He watches you down the shot of tequila, admiring you a little in silence.

You take the shot and enjoy the burn it gives you, "Too strong for you? Shall we have a beer instead?"

"Yeah, yeah." He says playfully, not wanting to admit that he isn't quite used to the burning sensation of tequila.

"Beer is definitely more my speed." He says back playfully as he orders a round of beer.

"You wanna stick to tequila though…" He adds teasingly, "or were you thinking of switching to beer too?"

"Well another shot is tempting… but I'll take the beer."

"Wise choice." Jungkook replies back playfully, giving your arm a small pat as he picks up his glass of beer.

"You still want to do shots don't you?" He asks slightly playfully, his arms resting on the counter as he continues to watch you and wait for your response.

You smile. "Of course!" You chuckle.

"Then let's do it." He smiles back, his playful tone matching hers.

He orders another round of shots. The tequila burns just as much as the first time, but he does a better job at hiding his reaction.

He takes his shot of tequila, this time taking a second glass of water afterwards as well.

"Shall we do one more?" He asks playfully, still holding your arm, his thumb casually tracing a circle on you wrist as the alcohol starts to get to him.

You nod, "I need ten more!" You joke to him.

"Oh you think you can handle ten shots of tequila huh?" He chuckles back, matching your playful energy.

He can feel the alcohol start to loosen him up slightly. He has less inhibitions about the playful flirting, but he tries to stay in control.

His thumb continues its gentle circling around your wrist as he teases you.

"I can, can you?" You ask, poking his shoulder playfully.

"Hey now…" he grins playfully, trying to keep up with your playful banter.

"I'm sure I can." He says confidently. "I could probably beat you in a drinking contest." He chuckles.

"Let's prove it." He says playfully, taking another shot of tequila.

"Fine, game on!" You take another shot and love the burn it gives.

Jungkook downs his next shot of tequila as well, the alcohol definitely getting to him at this point.

His expression is less serious now, almost becoming a smirk, he still has his playful side though.

"You feeling the effects yet?" He asks playfully, grabbing another glass of water after finishing his shot.

"Maybe a little." You definitely do, you feel good. The best you've felt in the past 24 hours.

"You look like you're definitely feeling it…" he chuckles playfully, noticing the effect that the alcohol is starting to have on you.

"But you said you can handle more shots… so let's see it."

Jungkook downs his next shot of tequila. The alcohol has his brain processing a bit slower than normal, but he doesn't feel too much to stop him drinking more either.

"Fine," You hold the shot and down it in one. "I am going to beat you." You sing to him.

"Oh… oh really?" He asks playfully, but it's clear that he's definitely starting to feel loose from the alcohol.

"I doubt that." He adds on, laughing as he grabs his next glass of water. "But we'll see… we'll see."

Jungkook takes his next shot of tequila, his eyes widening slightly at the burn it gives. But he takes it like a champ, his grin only getting wider on his face.

You follow and take another shot. Your favourite song starts playing and your eyes widen, "Jungkook, we have to dance!"

"Dance?" Jungkook asks, a little surprised by your sudden suggestion.

He laughs and tilts his head playfully. "Why do we have to dance now? Can't we just relax and chill?" He chuckles, a slightly goofy smile on his face as the alcohol takes even more effect.

You grab hold of his hand and try to pull him off his seat, "Come on, it's my favourite song!"

"Alright, alright." He chuckles a bit as you pull him to his feet. "Let's go."

Jungkook takes your hand and lets himself be led away. The alcohol has his mind a bit foggy, and he's no longer thinking as rationally as he normally would.

He's more likely to just go with the flow, especially when there's music and dancing involved. You lead him to the dance floor which is already crowded but you find a spot and move to your song.

He follows you to the dance floor without hesitation, making sure to stay close to you so he doesn't lose you in the crowd.

He listens to the music for a moment before starting to move. The beat is getting to him, though. He feels more relaxed and carefree when he's dancing, even if his mind is slowly being impaired by the alcohol.

Jungkook is pretty good at dancing and makes sure to blend into the crowd of everyone else who's dancing along.

With the alcohol, combined with the music and the joy from watching you dance, Jungkook feels even more carefree than usual.

He moves along with the music, his body flowing with it. He doesn't even think about his movements anymore. He's simply responding to the song that's playing.

The alcohol continues to make it's affect known throughout his body, and he starts to become more and more loose. He's not stumbling or anything, but he's definitely starting to lose some of his inhibitions.

He moves with you, the two of you dancing together.

He's getting a little bold with the alcohol flowing through his body though. He's starting to lean in closer to you as you dance, his hand on your hip pulling you slightly closer to him as you both move to the music.

The alcohol is definitely making him lean closer than normal right now. Normally he wouldn't even try to get this close, but right now, he doesn't seem to care how bold he's being.

The touch feels nice between the two of them and he doesn't seem to want to stop. He leans slightly closer, and continues to dance to the music with his arm around your waist. He's still holding your hand, not letting go for a moment.

He can't help but notice the feeling of you pressing into him as you dance.

He's so focused on the music right now that he barely notices your movements, or how close your bodies are.

He's slowly relaxing as you press into him, his own hands tightening on you as he pulls you slightly closer.

The beat of the music is starting to make his muscles move subtly and he's not realizing how bold he's getting with his hands.

You look up to him to find he is already looking at you. You don't stop moving, you have never seen him look at you this way. It's different. Not like a friend but something more.

Jungkook is just as caught up in the moment as you are, so when your eyes finally meet his, it takes him by surprise.

There's a slight tension and chemistry between the two of you that has been building up for a while, and the moment you lock eyes, it feels like a jolt of electricity going through both of your bodies.

Jungkook's eyes have never met yours in such a way, there's a clear shift in his expression that shows just how caught up he is in not only the night, but you…

It feels like time has slowed down as he closes the distance between you two.

Jungkook's eyes are locked on yours, his gaze full of energy and the smallest hint of lust. He's been wanting to do this for a while now, and the alcohol is only increasing the desire to take this further.

He's moving so slowly, but in those few seconds before he's pressed his lips to yours, the tension is almost unbearable.

The first touch of your lips is enough to send shivers down his spine. The kiss itself feels like a rush.

Jungkook takes you in, holding your body close against his as he kisses you. The music is still playing all around them, but it feels like nobody else exists except for the two of you.

Jungkook can't get enough of your touch right now, his desire for you growing with each soft brush of your lips.

Jungkook's heart was racing now; he could feel his breath quickening. As the kiss continues, he pulls you even closer to him, wanting nothing more in the world than to taste your lips.

Jungkook's hands start to run up and down the sides of your body, tracing the smooth skin of your thighs as you continue moving to the beat of the music. He doesn't want this moment to end, and doesn't want to think about anything outside of the moment here and now.

You pull back and look up to him. You feel a little confusion but it also just feels right.

Jungkook's mind has completely blanked due to the rush of the alcohol and the kiss.

He looks at you, a little confused as to why you pulled away. His eyes scan you, his mouth slightly open. It's like he's trying to process what just happened.

"We should head back." You say, looking into his eyes trying not to let them slip to his lips. All he does is nod before taking your hand and walking you both out of the bar.

The walk back is silent, you don't know what to do. The tension between the two of you has never been so high, you just want to get back.

________________________________

Walking into your apartment, your mind starts racing with all kinds of thoughts. Has he always felt like this toward you? Have you?

You run your hands through your hair and look at him, he's just stood there. His gaze is fixated on you.

"Listen I-"

Before you could finish your sentence he strides to you and takes you into a kiss once more. This time it's not gentle, he takes you. His mouth claiming yours, you don't hold back and let him in. His tongue dancing with yours, you can't help but moan at this sensation. He puls back and looks at you.

"I should've done this a long time ago Y/N."

You look him up and down, unable to reply.

His eyes scan your face, unsure what to do next. You help, you cup his face and whisper. "I wish you did." You bring him toward you and kiss him. He sees this as the perfect opportunity and lifts you up. You wrap your legs around his waist and walks straight into his bedroom.

He gently lowers you onto his bed, stands up and removes his shirt. You have never looked at him this way before and you stare in awe at his physique. His tattoo, his hair disheveled makes him look even more hot.

He comes back down and kisses you over, his mouth moves to your neck and you lift your head to grant him access. His hands start roaming your body, your arms, your chest sliding down to the hem of your dress. He looks to you for your consent and your heart warms a little as you give a little nod. In one swift move your dress is off and laying on the floor. He stands and looks down on you, you should feel embarrassed but with him staring at you like that, it just makes you feel hotter.

"Beautifull Y/N, that man is a fool to lose you." He comes down to you, his face so close to yours but he speaks once more. "But i'm happy he did, because now you're mine." He kisses you, hard. Claiming you as his. You love it, your hips buckle under him and you feel the hardness of him against you. Your hands move to his jeans and move to undo them. He helps you, undoing his belt and taking his jeans off. You stare and move to take off his boxers but he pauses, placing his hand on yours.

You look up, worried you were tushing him too much but the stare he gives you turns you into a puddle there and then.

"Wouldn't be fair without you taking yours off sweetheart."

You blush instantly, he lowers himself down and leaves a trail of kisses, starting at your lips and moving lower and lower until he reaches to strap of your underwear. His fingers curl around them, teasing you.

"You want these off?"

All you can do is nod, your body is practically begging him. You hear him chuckle as he slowly slides them down your legs, the cold leaving a slight chill to your exposed body but you welcome it as the heat you feel right now is overwhelming. He follows suit and removes his, you almost gawp at his length but you try to hide it. Not very well as you see him smirk, giving himself a few pumps before grabbing a condom from his drawer.

He climbs the bed until he is hovering above you.

"You sure?" You look to him, his eyes holding a little concern as this was your last chance to pull out of this, he needs this consent before moving forward. You wrap your hands around his neck and answer. "Please Jungkook, make me forget about him."

His head dips at your words. "Oh Sweetheart, you'll never think of him again. I promise."

He lines himself up to you before pushing in, you both gasp in unison at the sensation of each other. He picks up speed slowly, your moans fill the room. It feels so good you don't want this to end.

"Jungkook" You moan his name and almost growls in return.

"God I love it when you say my name." He picks up speed and thrusts even harder into you. "Say it again Sweetheart."

"Jungkook please." You whimper as you just want more, you want all of him and nothing else.

He takes you even harder, his head falls beside you as he picks up his speed. "So good Sweetheart, you feel so good."

He keeps going, not slowing down. You feel the butterflies building inside of you. "Jungkook I'm gonna..."

He lifts his head and kisses you while taking you hard.

"Please Sweetheart, come with me. While I take you, yes Sweetheart."

Your moans grow in volume as you feel it build more and more until you see stars. Your back arches as you explode below him, you scream his name a final time before coming back down.

You feel his movement get sloppy as he slows down, he finished with you.

He comes to a stop and lays next to you, he takes you in his arms. Brushing your hair with his fingers. You lay on his chest and feel every rise and fall.

He holds you close, not wanting to let go.

You raise your head and look to him, he cocks his head as he listens to you.

"How long have you waited for this moment?" You can't help but ask him, he feels as if he has longed for this moment for a while so you had to ask.

He smiles while looking at you, still combing your hair.

"Sweetheart, I have wanted you ever since I laid my eyes on you. But you weren't mine to have then."

Your eyes widen as he spoke, you had no idea. You were so oblivious to his feelings.

"Until now." He leans down and kisses you, slowly.

"And I will never break your heart, you're mine now Sweetheart. No-one will be coming between us ever again."

You don't have to say anything else, you lay your head on his chest once more. You feel safe, and you know he will never do as others have done to you.

He's yours and finally you're his, and God don't you know it.

[thankskenpenders]

Amy's fortune cards

The Sonic fandom has long been the kind of fandom that takes minor details very seriously, for better or worse. On the one hand, this means fans will really dig for the diamonds in the rough, latching onto fun character interactions, animations, bits of background worldbuilding, and more in pieces of Sonic media that many would write off as "the bad ones." But it also feels like every week another needlessly hostile debate over Sonic minutia erupts on Twitter, whether it's over individual lines of dialogue, fanart that makes Tails' shoes blue, or the ideal length and volume for Sonic's quills.

So it was probably inevitable that a fandom-wide debate would erupt upon seeing Amy's new gameplay style in the DLC for Sonic Frontiers, which takes the once-obscure fact that she enjoys reading tarot and shines a spotlight on it like never before.

I mean:

The thing is, while I basically always try to tune out Sonic fandom bickering... for once, I kind of sympathize with the detractors? Don't get me wrong, I like Amy's tarot stuff, and people on all sides of the discussion are being overly nasty about their opinions, as usual. (Sonic Twitter remains my personal hell.) But when I set aside the hyperbole and zoom out, I do think I understand why some fans are put off by the sudden shift in focus for the character, even if I think it's cool.

It's complicated. Let me attempt to present the cases for and against Amy's fortune cards

For years, I was always one of those fans who thought it could be fun if they played with Amy's tarot reading, or even leaned into some kind of magic with her. Part of that is my own biases showing, but there's just something that makes sense there, especially when you look at Sonic, Tails, and Amy as a trio. (I would argue that's the real "Team Sonic" these days, especially in the comics where Knuckles is more likely to be stuck on Angel Island or otherwise doing his own thing.)

You could argue that Tails is all about logic, relying on science and technology and deductive reasoning to solve problems. But Amy is all about emotion. She wears her heart on her sleeve, is extremely empathetic, and is very prone to magical thinking - both figuratively and sometimes literally. Her origin story has always been that her tarot cards told her it was her destiny to meet Sonic on Little Planet. She's claimed to be able to "sense" peoples' presences - particularly Sonic's. She's the type to believe that The Power of Love is a literal magical force. So, on some level, it makes sense to mirror Tails's science by having Sonic's other best friend believe in magic. And then Sonic is somewhere in the middle, primarily following his own gut instincts but taking advice from both of them as needed. This isn't totally accurate to how their dynamics actually function in canon stories, but I think it's a mode that could work for them.

Going off of that, it's fun to lean all the way into Amy being a magical girl, or even a witch, using her fortune telling as a foundation. Take, for example, this version of Amy from Diana Skelly's old Sonic cast redesigns from before she freelanced for Archie and IDW. This is one of MANY such redesigns for Amy.

Fast forward to the 2020s, and Amy's tarot cards are, in fact, finally getting brought up again in canon. Which is fun! I like seeing that. I like all of the individual stories involving Amy's fortune cards. This is a fun character trait for Amy, a fun nod to old lore, AND a fun storytelling device, all in one. It's really cool that the Sonic universe has its own thematically appropriate arcana, and that the cards are getting made as physical merch. And sure enough, the official card backs and borders were designed by none other than Diana Skelly, in yet another cool example of an ascendant fan leaving their mark on the series.

BUT... when you step back and look at the big picture, I get why some fans find this shift in focus jarring. At the moment, it's starting to feel like every new story about Amy involves her fortune cards to some degree.

The most recent mainline comic arc to feature Amy as the lead character, 2021's Trial by Fire arc, prominently features a sequence where she reads fortunes while camping with the girls. The Origins version of Sonic CD now bookends the game with scenes of Amy and her tarot cards. Sonic randomly mentioned it in a scene in Frontiers. And now, just this week, we got the (very cute, gorgeously illustrated) Amy's 30th Anniversary comic with a story revolving around Amy's tarot cards, followed the very next day by the Frontiers DLC in which she gets a brand new tarot-based moveset. Even her base melee attack now has her throwing tarot cards instead of swinging her hammer. Again, I like all of these individual things, but after years of it almost never coming up at all, it's VERY noticeable that Amy's tarot cards are suddenly everywhere.

To be fair, I'm looking at this from the perspective of a superfan who's actively following ALL Sonic media. Casual fans - especially kids - aren't necessarily going to be reading the comics every month, buying the thousandth rerelease of the Genesis games, or playing the ultra-hard new alternate ending DLC for a game that came out last year. Each of these stories is going to be someone's introduction to the idea that Amy can read tarot, and that's probably part of the idea behind this unified push.

But to play devil's advocate, for my fellow superfans, I understand why it feels like a very minor footnote of Amy's character is suddenly becoming the entire focus of her personality. While Amy has always been said to enjoy fortune telling, that wasn't really a character trait in and of itself, but rather an example of her being a typical girl who hopes she'll be able to find true love one day. It's less that Amy can literally predict the future and more like her using a cootie catcher or going "he loves me, he loves me not" while picking the petals off of a flower. So I get not vibing with this stuff, or feeling like it's being pushed very hard out of nowhere.

What I don't agree with are comparisons like "it's like if they made Knuckles' moveset revolve around him liking grapes." Like, I get it. Ian Flynn loves shoehorning in his little winking references for us nerds, and mentions of Amy's tarot cards were previously on the same level as other random bullet points from old Japanese manuals. But a multifaceted hobby like fortune telling that opens up so many narrative and aesthetic possibilities is obviously very different from having a favorite food. It's ALWAYS been a part of her story, not just a random fact, and there's no reason why the fortune telling can't be elevated to something more.

And, hell, even if it wasn't an established character trait, there's nothing inherently wrong with injecting new ideas into a character. One of the best Amy stories in recent years, the Free Comic Book Day special "Amy's New Hobby" written by Gale Galligan, came up with the idea that Amy's secretly been drawing little comics about her and her friends. Is this based on Lore? No. But it's cute, and helps tell the story of a younger Amy who's still coming out of her shell as both a hero and a friend.

Certain fans are also looking at Amy's Frontiers moveset and using it as evidence that once again the Vile American Contributors like Ian are CORRUPTING Sonic Team's perfect vision of Sonic with their misinterpretations. And like. Come on. Ian does not control the gameplay. He's a freelance writer. The tarot stuff is clearly something that Sonic Team likes if they made it the basis of Amy's new moveset - and, you know, if they keep approving comics and animations about Amy's fortune telling. None of this gets made without their blessing, and lord knows how much they can micromanage shit and shoot down ideas over the most minor of details.

Like, yeah, Amy's fortune telling was probably conceived less as a sign that she Knows Magic and more as a pretty mundane hobby for a lovesick young Japanese girl to have. But you're gonna sit there and tell me that using Amy's tarot cards for more than that could only be the result of a cultural misunderstanding? That nobody in Japan uses tarot card theming and aesthetics (or the general idea of magical cards) for the cool factor? Stardust Crusaders? Persona? The Astrologian class in FFXIV? Cardcaptor Sakura?? Hello??? Do you think Capcom put Gambit in Marvel vs. Capcom ironically because they thought using magic to throw cards at people was stupid? There's tons of precedent for this! It's nothing like Knuckles throwing grapes at people, be for real.

Giving Amy a very magical girl-esque moveset also just makes a lot of sense. For decades her hammer attacks have literally made sparkly heart shapes appear around her. Leaning into both that and her tarot cards in her new moveset makes a lot of sense to me.

But, admittedly... I do think it's very odd that her hammer is treated as a secondary element here, rather than having her primarily use her hammer and adding the cards for extra flair. If hitting the attack button made her swing her hammer instead of throwing cards, I'm not sure we'd even be having this discussion right now.

But the tarot-cycle and Amy riding her hammer like a witch's broom are fucking SICK and I will not concede on this point

The thing is, this whole fortune card discourse is but a small piece of a bigger problem. Amy's been a character who needed some work for ages, but there's basically nothing you can do with her without pissing SOMEONE off.

Years of stories where Amy's crush was her primary motivator and Sonic went "Ew, cooties!" have lead many casual fans to believe that being Sonic's obsessive fangirl is Amy's entire personality. At best people might call her Sonic's Minnie Mouse. This isn't just a matter of Amy having haters within the fandom - venture outside of that bubble and you'll realize that this is how MOST video game playing people seem to see her to this day. I don't feel like this is a fair assessment of the character, but this idea didn't come from nowhere. No matter how much good deeply entrenched Sonic fans may see in their old dynamic where Amy perpetually chases Sonic, this is a very real problem that Sonic Team has to contend with for their leading girl. Of course all those games where the way-past-cool protagonist thought Amy was annoyingly clingy and tried to get away from her made people think less of her.

If new stories were to go back to emphasizing Amy's crush on Sonic a little more, they'd probably be taken as confirmation that Amy's just the girl with a crush on Sonic and that this is her entire personality. Conversely, when the crush is played down, you piss off the hardcore SonAmy fans who don't seem to understand that they're Charlie Brown and Sega is Lucy holding the football. You can't win.

And so here we are. In the absence of what was once her defining trait, now reduced to an occasional blush or wink in Sonic's direction, new stories are trying to mine Amy's past for additional material to work with. Having been a thing fans wanted to see for years, right now we're getting a lot of tarot, but we're also getting reminders of her compassionate nature and her desire to go out of her way to help the little guy. This is an ongoing process. I continue to hope that her bubbly, exuberant demeanor can shine more in future stories. Now, I also hope that the tarot stuff gets balanced out a little better with other traits of hers. But I don't want it to go away. I think it's fun.

This course correcting is far from exclusive to Amy. Knuckles is getting stories that remind us that he's a competent fighter, an experienced treasure hunter, and even a self-taught archaeologist after years of him being perceived as either the dumb one or just the guy who stands in front of the Master Emerald all day. And Tails has been getting some stories reminding folks that he's a capable hero in his own right and not just Sonic's timid kid sidekick.

But no supporting character will ever compete with the sheer number of new ideas Sega has tried with Sonic himself. Like Amy, his Frontiers moveset has also given him half a dozen new superpowers that he never had before, from the Cyloop to air-slicing projectile attacks to his own take on Shadow Clone Jutsu and beyond. He's also been a hoverboarder, a swordsman, a time traveler, an Olympic athlete, a racecar driver, cursed with a Flame of Judgment, imbued with alien power, a fucking Werehog with stretchy powers, and on and on and on.

If Sonic can do all that, Amy can try out using a tarot-cycle.

Anyway TL;DR the REAL problem with Amy's current characterization... is where the FUCK is Amy's bestie, Honey the Cat???????

[brucewaynehater101]

Hello, I am the person from a few days ago that mentioned House MD. .y idea for it is very simple and very funny. Tim ends up in House's hospital with House as his doctor. He was found unconscious on the side of the road with 3 stab wounds, two broken ribs, and a broken leg.

Tim is Knocked Out and in Civilian Clothes with No Wallet. Which means No ID. They call him John Doe for now and move on to stitching him up and doing an xray of his chest so they can fix up his ribs and check for internal bleeding from the stabs. They are having some kind of debate about how the kid has clearly had his ribs shattered many, many times and how they healed when House suddenly stands up and says, "all of you are missing the forest for the tree. Ignore the ribs for a second before the kid dies." He then leaves the room to the confusion of all the assistants. It takes almost ten seconds for one of them to yell, "WHERES HIS SPLEEN"

Within an hour Tim has been put in one if their Anti Germ Bubbles for the Immuno Compromised. Oh the bright side he 100% has a room all to himself! Tim wakes up in the bubble, very confused with House looming over him. Tim is Baffled and says, "who send you? What info are you after?" And House just says, "im your doctor. What's your name so we can stop calling you John Doe The Spleenless Wonder."

Tim and House verbally joust almost constantly for Tim's entire stay and honestly? Most relaxed he's been in *years*. However it takes *days* for them to pry him name out of him and it's not even *from* him. Someone saw his face on a magazine in the grocery store check out and went "that's out John Doe!!" And when Tim tells them that he is Tim Drake he simply says, "I didn't tell you for a very simple reason. If word got out it was The Tim Drake in your hospital, which is outside Gothem, could you imagine the Paparazzi? And what would happen? I can garentee you at least one person would show up trying to kill me. Why do you think I was outside gothem beat up? Assassins, obviously." House's boss is terrified this guy is gunna sue them into the ground for how House has been jabbing at him constantly.

House simply asks why his bones look like Swiss Cheese and Tim simply raises an eyebrow at him and says, "I live in Gothem."

Later on after Tim gets released, he buys the entire hospital, becomes its new boss, goes to House's boss who actually runs the hospital and says, "I do not care about running this hospital. It's all up to you, I want No Power here. I am simply here to triple your budget, no quadruple it. And you remain completely in power on one condition. I want House to be my Primary Doctor. He's fun."

Oh and if you want some Angst, House asking if Tim wants to call someone to pick him up and Tim says, "oh, I have a tracker on me. Someone will show up to check me out once they notice I'm missing." House squinting at him and says, "you've been here two weeks. So I don't believe you." But Tim is telling the truth. His tracker has said he's been at an out of city hospital for weeks and no one really noticed he was even gone.

Fuck yeah. I've seen some clips of House and, despite the large amounts of medical malpractice they should be sued for, Tim would absolutely enjoy House's banter.

Also, I'd so live for House and Tim trying to trick each other. Tim realizes quickly that House doesn't believe a word about what Tim says about how he got his injuries. House keeps trying to pull one over on Tim so that Tim actually receives medical treatment (especially because Tim keeps going back out on field with injuries). It becomes a somewhat friendly game

Fair warning, I'm probably about to butcher House's character. Idk enough about him, but here's what I think. Tim would prefer House as his main doctor for two reasons:

How House cares

House isn't Batman/Bat affiliated

For the first point, House does care but not in the way most others do. I think Tim will eventually start telling House the truth about how he gets his injuries because of how House reacts. House isn't going to be overly sympathetic, pity Tim, or try to mother hen him. Tim will stroll up, say he's been held without food for a week and has 3 broken bones, and House will just banter with Tim.

If Tim's being an idiot (like not resting), House won't try to tell him off. He won't yell or undermine Tim. He'll just point blank tell Tim he deserves whatever injury he got for being an idiot while helping the vigilante treat it.

Tim will never admit to being a cape, but he eventually trusts House enough not to hide it.

Then there's House not being a Bat doctor. Leslie may or may not inform Bruce of any injuries Tim gets that Leslie deems is important for Bruce to know about. Alfred for sure won't hide that shit. Either way, whether founded or not, Tim can't trust those doctors to give away his information "for his own good."

House probably wouldn't go out of his way to inform Bruce (especially if we add on your angst angle).

Probably fucked up House's characterization, but let me know what ya think! Feel free to send another ask or reblog or whatever with changes ya think I need to add

[pseudophan]

Hi! I am very very new to the Dan and Phil world. A friend of a friend had a spare ticket to their Oslo show and I went along. This was my very first Dan and Phil experience. I had heard their names, but went in completely blind after all who doesn't love a theatre trip to a foreign country. I had a wonderful time, even if I didn't really understand a lot of the backstory it was so much fun, and i thought i sort of had it worked out. I have come home and binged their content now, but the more I watch, the more confused I am. I watched the Anthony Padilla Dan interview tonight and that was the point where I thought I need help. I was advised head here, pick someone nice and avoid twitter so here I am. When I was watching the show in Oslo, it seemed to me that it was the most married unmarried couple ever, having fun together on stage, poking fun at all the crazy that they had faced together over the years, however the more I indulge in their content the more I am confused as to what is real or not. Is the whole stage couple thing just an act? Were they together but now not? Have I misunderstood the whole show? That Anthony interview Dan seemed to be saying he was very single and ready to find a man, so I am very very lost. Google was no help. I don't want to over step but after watching them perform on stage, they seemed completely infatuated and in love with each other and in recent videos i watched. It is all very confusing. Whatever they are, they know how to put on a show. They have a new fan in me, albeit a slightly confused one. Hope you don't think I am overstepping.

first of all, that's an insane introduction to dan and phil and i love it. i was also at the oslo show! it was a good one

as for your question, well you see the thing is dan howell is chronically full of shit. that time period was a bit weird and he was a bit annoying and he had this "single and ready to mingle" bit going, god knows why cause it wasn't very believable, but.. idk, i think perhaps it was a mix of just that fitting his brand of "comedian" better and him desperately wanting to get away from the Dan And Phil label, but because he couldn't ever fully commit to it it just fell flat imo. like you can't be on youtube and on stage claiming you're single and wanna fuck around while also appearing in your boyfriend's videos acting married as fuck, it just doesn't work. and please no one start up that godforsaken open relationship debate again cause it's just not relevant, he wasn't selling open relationship he was selling single lol, at least in that anthony interview

but like all that said i don't really think he was trying to sell it to the phannies or any of his most hardcore fans, and i think that's exactly why he was willing to appear in phil's videos still showing a completely different, much more real, side of himself. the whole Single Dan On The Prowl thing was for himself and for random people who happened to be watching, more casual members of the audience

there's a looot more to be said about dan and the way he wants to be viewed, he talks about it himself a bit in the new show but you probably don't remember it that well if you saw it as an outsider like it's hardly the most memorable part of.. all of that haha, but basically to answer your question: dan's just kinda like that sometimes. you get used to it. or maybe you won't have to since he seems ready to finally maybe potentially possibly drop some of the pretence and just.... be. or he'll change his mind again and be back to bullshitting in a few months you honestly never know with that guy

but yeah dan in that era... grain of salt is all. it's just a persona and a desperate plea to be viewed as something, anything other than Dan From Dan And Phil. it's just kind of hard to get away from that when the other half of your double act is also your life partner, you know?

[starberry-cupcake]

GUESS WHO'S BACK IN THE HOUSE???

I don't know how frequent these will be but I'm gonna try to pick this back up now that, at the very least, I am done with having to read stuff for mandatory academic reasons.

But before I go back and start over with chapter 33, I'm going to do a little recap of where I think everyone was when I left them, as far as my own notes and my memory allow. I'm probably going to make less sense than before now that I had a 5 month hiatus and I'll probably guess even less of what's going on, but such is life.

This character recap should be read with this song in your head because that's the energy I picture.

she's going through it

doesn't remember shit

thinks ortus was her cavalier

is constantly targeted by alleged gideon aka ortus the first

who actually also told her how to defend herself from him (them? he said "us") (use blood, not bones, of course)

is seen as "lyctor lite" because her cavalier slurping thing "didn't work"

(we think this might be good because of gideon reasons)

improved her necro abilities to "make up" for it

can't really hold the sword

everyone expects her to die

I think she's stronger than they think and that's their mistake

sent letters to herself that she hasn't yet fully read

like I made these recaps that now I'm re-reading, life parallels

gave yandere twin her arm back with necro sex or something

is dealing with an inner chad who is as difficult in death as in life

misses her sister who she thinks is still alive

I also think she's alive

got a new arm through necro sex or something

is kinky as well as yandere

thinks too highly of augustine

wants to be a good lyctor

has issues with her self-perception because she was always the ignored twin, even if she had the necro abilities

sleeps in a room with a lot of nudes

wanted to kiss harrow but was rejected (the second time, the first time was some harrow conspiracy theory thing)

I hate this guy

is very bad at his job

or very good, if his job is to be awful

supposedly he's gonna be killed, but so far no results on that front

had a thing with ice cube barbie aka AL aka annabel lee, allegedly

undetermined what kind of "thing" that was

gets into orgies with his lyctors, apparently

is always reading stuff

has created a system to destroy planets and their energy

this has brought them issues

who would have thought

there are now energy things that are wanting to destroy them

they killed some but have, I believe, 3 still trailing them

claims that what they did was a good thing

doesn't take responsibility for things that are clearly his fault

isn't disturbed by harrow's origin story of baby blending in a necro magic bullet to make her

probably because he has committed genocide himself

is also being hated on by a bunch of rebels whose leader disappeared about 20 years prior

my running theory is that gideon's mom might be related to that

aka Senior Chad

don't like this guy

he's training yandere twin, if we can call it that

dislikes mercygirl a lot but isn't above getting dirty with her and the emperor

you can't convince me there weren't other ways they could have distracted him, but he went for that, so

wanted to help kill alleged gideon aka ortus the first

thinks too highly of himself

explains things in a convoluted way

is treated very poorly

can help people with wounds

thinks harrowcita is very smol and always claims her to be younger than the last time

was involved in the plan of getting emperor reverend doctor john Distracted with Capital D to get alleged gideon aka ortus the first killed

idk how much she knew of the plan before getting into it tbh there wasn't a lot of discussion prior

insists she's not moving not!dulcinea

argues with people all the time

his name is up for debate at this point but I'm sure it's actually gideon

may or may not be involved in things beyond the planet situation

seems to be sort of possessed or something because, in a moment of maybe lucidity or not wanted to protect harrowcita from "us"

maybe he's not the kind one, maybe it's his cavalier, but idk

is probably who the note in book 1 was referring to

wants to kill harrow to protect the emperor, apparently

was about to be killed by not!dulcinea (who doesn't get a section but is STILL wreaking havoc because nobody listens to me)

harrowcita saved his life like in toy story 3 with the incinerator

was seen doing Stuff with not!dulcinea prior to this

emperor john alluded that he may be aroace though

we stan him for that

doesn't get along with the rest

also we stan him for that

has been trying to kill harrowcita the whole time

we don't stan him for that

aka AL aka annabel lee, I think

it wasn't stated but that's what I'm going for

is the body that was in the locked tomb that harrowcita saw

but now is haunting harrow and going around with her but only she can see and hear her

her eyes though are like gideon's maybe

harrow claims to love her

she's also present in the gideon-less past we keep seeing as well

we don't know much about her but if the emperor imprisoned her, we're on her side

canaan house but with a lot of events differently set

starting with gideon not existing and ortus being harrow's cav

ortus is also in a polycule with the fifth

dulcinea is the real one in this one and protozoa is alive

regina george twin was pushed to her "death???" by mayonneise uncle, before he also threw himself

palmolive and camilla are dead in this one

the second house has 1 alive and 1 dead

abigail seems to know a lot of stuff

maybe hadn't she died immediately, book 1 would have been shorter

everyone keeps saying "is this how it happened?"

IT'S NOT

harrow reads a note only she can see that keeps getting longer about someone ranting to some guy and there's a potential triangle situation going on and also eggs

I'm thinking it might be a fertility thing but idk

there's a waker/sleeper that behaves like a slasher villain

it's hidden in a coffin nobody can open and kills with a rifle

it also has a gideon-like sword?

not sure how this connects with what's going on in the emperor's bolthole because not!dulcinea doesn't exist in this one, apparently

even though camilla is very much alive and slaying and palmolive is currently a skull in a bag, I'll leave that for the next recap once I've caught up with the entire chapter

[shxllraizxr]

To get things going let's start off with a good prompt ♡

How would a Poly Relationship work between the Turtles and Y/N ?

[Gender Neutral Portrayal is my thing btw lmao]

[ also I loooove Poly Turtles. Its so rare now of days tbh ]

Warnings : Hints of Nsfw. Implied Sex & Sexual Romance ♡

This is mostly fluff tho !

Y/N has been crushing on the Turtles for a while now as has finally broken thier silence about their feelings. They figured a few ideas on how to possibly give all of them the same and equal treatment of love they deserve. A polyamorous relationship! Hopefully things can workout... hopefully.

Leo

Welllll- at first he wasn't really sure how this would go at first.

Lowkey didn't like the idea when first presented. He basically felt like it was showing that no commitment could be made if y/n was also having feelings for his brothers.

Don't get me wrong. He loves you but, this idea made him give you a bit of a scolding talk to after a few minutes of debating.

Luckily you are able to explain to him what this would all entail and you reassure him you will love him just the same as everyone .

Happy but definitely would have a tinge of jealousy thinking he can't have himself to you most of the time.

Fast forward to a few months of this relationship and lets just say he's easily the one who gets first dibs on kisses and stuff.

Constant argues with Raph about how he is being "too touchy with you" but he's a hypocrite.

Leo ALWAYS has his hands on you in private. Its the foreplay mood he likes to build up

Leader in battle and leader in the relationship

Warms up to the idea of having others in your heart and you have told him and made sure he knows you have a big piece of him in yours.

He's content with that and feels like he definitely won't lose you to anyone else.

Raph

Oh boy Raph asserted himself as the top dog over the others.

Against it right off the bat. Mainly cause he didn't like the idea of his bothers falling for someone he liked way before amy othe his brothers did.

Yes. He believes he caught feelings for you first (lowkey he did tho so he ain't wrong) and he will die on that hill.

Down BAD for you from the get go. And plans on letting his bros know he's got the hots for you.

Mainly the instigator in arguments about who loves you more. Mainly towards Leo since he know how he gets around you.

Handsy is an understatement.. HE IS ALL OVER YOU NO MATTER WHAT.

easy to provoke sexual intentionally and unintentionally. Man loves the idea of a tease. And he will reciprocate that

Down the line he gets less reserved and more okay with sharing you but he still has that jealousy and mindset of being your top lover.

You kind of have to learn to sometimes give into his subtle and "not so" subtle cues about affection and intimacy

Him and Leo kind of bond over talking about how beautiful / handsome you are. They are infatuated with you.

Raph is probably the most if not tied with Leo on how protective he is worh you. But he of course is a huge softie underneath all that plastron and muscle.

Donnie

Donnie actually kind of agreed to it easily.

Being a scientist as well as some trying to figure stuff out he kind of wanted to learn some things about it.

The only kind of negative thing about it at first was he kind of treated this type of thing as a lab study or research.

Not in a bad way but he focused alot on the scientific stuff more than romance but after expressing how you don't want him thinking of it as a experiment he chills put. And actually starts enjoying it.

Suprising very chill and calm.ablut when his bros get jealous. He kind of teases when he gets his turn to have you for the night or day.

Very light levels of jealously if any. He is content and knows you love him so he's very confident in himself.

Never would be the one to start any type of argument about who you love more.

The type to skip going on a training day to sneak a cuddle in with you. He would easily lie and say he has to do some routine diagnostics on the shellraiser or something

Humbling and can come.back with snarky remarks if people step put of line tho. Tho he is more reserved then them all.

Relies on advice from mikey - (yeah I know that's insane but its true) - when it comes to ideas on how to swoon you over.

Can and will make sure "if your okay with it" to set a schedule on checking in to make sure your okay if your not at the lair for long periods of time. He just wants to know you are safe.

Mikey

Chill AF like in a weird way. Still confuses you to this day how okay he was with this.

Never once showed any aggressiveness towards the others when they are around you. But will definitely tease raph to pass him off.

This mf literally will not stop having contact with you. He loves it when your around and will show it through physical affection

His form of jealousy is literally just puppy eyes and pouting. AND YOU FALL FOR IT EVERY SINGLE TIME !

Always offers and left over pizza to you first. He is a considerate gentleman after all.

Game nights you get the best controller. He doesn't care if the other fuss about stick drift or anything you get the best one. End. Of. Discussion.

Can go overboard with his ideas of a datenight. And will steal you away from.the others to get an extra hour or few minutes with you.

Kind of the glue of this relationship. He is the comical relief and weirdly would give the most out of pocket wisdom tips to everyone. Literally. It wields leo the fuck out at times how smart he can be.

Would be okay with having a joined cuddle with one of his bros and you. He use to be babied when he was younger so he likes to be the middle spoon in a cuddle honestly.

Flirty as hell along with Raph. He will give lewd remarks following after or before Raph. He will find a way to make you blush.

Made it his mission to please and make sure everyone is okay. He can be a little shit at times but he will always try his best to comply and follow the rules.

God I haven't written is sooooo loonggg! Hope this was alright haha !

Anyways I will try and be more active so be prepared for more posts ♡

[dancinglikebutterflywings]

500 Followers + 500 Words: S. Coups

-> Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x Ex-GF!Reader

-> Requested by: Anon

-> Prompt: 38 - Y/N has no one else to call, she calls her ex-boyfriend who still has her back no matter what.

-> Warnings: talks of a clean break up. mentions a sick parent. There's no hate between Coups and Reader. Right person, wrong time vibes.

-> Word Count: 502

-> Request: Closed.

500 followers = 500 words Masterlist | Main Masterlist

©️ 2024 dancinglikebutterflywings - do not copy/modify/repost anywhere. reblog instead

Y/N couldn’t believe it. She felt so embarrassed as she sits in the passenger’s seat of her ex-boyfriend's car.  

An hour ago, the guy she's been seeing for the last month left her stranded on the side of the road. This came after he told her that he come to the realisation that he doesn’t want to be in a committed relationship just yet. That he wanted to keep things casual and open to seeing other people all because he met another woman couldn’t decide right now who he wanted to be with. Instead of letting her anger get the better of her, she ended things, telling him that’s not what she wanted. After his failed attempts at trying to convince her to change her mind, he kicked her out of his car, leaving her standing in the rain. 

As she stood there, drenched and shivering, Y/N scrolled through her phone for someone to call but quickly realized she had no-one. She didn’t have enough money for an uber, her best friend was away on her honeymoon, her mum was taking care of her sick dad, her brother’s away for military training and she didn’t have any co-workers willing to drive the distance to pick her up this late at night. A majority of them had children to take care of.  

When she landed on her ex’s name, she debated whether she should call him or not. They were still sort of friendly. Their relationship didn’t end badly. They both became busy with their jobs and finding time for each other became difficult, so they just kind of drifted apart.  

After a good five minutes, she called him and he didn’t hesitate to come and pick her up.  

“Thank you for coming all this way to get me,” she thanks him, breaking the silence that had fallen over them, after he started the drive back to her apartment. “And on your birthday of all days. I’m sorry if I interrupted any plans you had.”  

"Don't worry about," he assures her that it's okay. "When Seungkwan, Mingyu and Hoshi found out it was you calling, they insisted I come and get you and bring you back. I told them you might not want to." 

"I want to," she tells him, wanting to celebrate his birthday with him and his chosen brothers. A part of her also wanted to see them all again. Feeling a little guilty for not having kept in contact with any of them since her and Seungcheol’s break up, she missed them like crazy.  

"Are you sure?" he asks, "You've had a rough night. It's okay if you don't want to come and socialise with all of us." 

"I'm sure, Seungcheol," she assures him. Even though they’ve been broken up for a while now, she still cares about him. "It's your birthday. I would love to be there to celebrate it with you." 

Seungcheol, smiles and changes from driving to her apartment to where his birthday celebration was being held.  

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[sysmedsaresexist]

To the anon asking about my username...

There's a bit of confusion here, I'm going to answer many of your questions but I may not post the ask itself, hopefully it'll make sense :)

When I started my blog I was heavily anti endo and I specifically posted bad pro/endo takes, debunking or just laughing. To this day, most of it is still pretty hilarious. I wasn't focused on cringe, but totally crazy, out there claims that made zero sense and were flat out wrong. Check out my tags #shit endos say, #shit singlets say, and my newest tag, #shit anti endos say, I hope you have a laugh at a couple of them.

In my pinned post, you'll see the thing that started it all. A pro endo saying that sysmeds are sexist.

I would also like to know how they came to that conclusion. I'm right there with you. Also like you, I still have many issues with the pro/endo community. I believe CDDs are trauma based disorders. I post research pretty much weekly about it (check out #debunk and #research). I think endogenic plurality and CDDs are completely different things.

And you know what, my pro endo friends support me. We're all learning. I'm kind with my opinion, I'm open to talking about it, we debate, we share resources, we change our views and adjust based on new info.

This blog corrects misinformation from both sides, now. Some of it is worse than others. Antis can and do spread just as much misinformation as pro/endos.

What I would encourage you to do is start with the multiple selves theory. It actually developed right alongside Freud's theories on hysteria (which included early versions of CDDs at the time), and if Freud hadn't been such a perv, it might actually be much more well-known. It's a nonpathological theory on consciousness and philosophy. People have been describing this phenomenon for a very long time, "endogenic" is just the newest term for it. Here's a couple examples.

2015 - at any given moment in time, one or another of our subselves is in control and determines how we think and act.

1987

2012 - this one has so many links to other people talking about this theory

2023 - These results suggest that the normative principles by which agents have adapted to complex changing environments may also explain why humans have long been described as consisting of “multiple selves.”

2020

2010

Like I said, though, you can find this stuff as far back as the 50s with ease, anything older might take a bit more digging, but it's not a small or new theory.

I think an overlap in language has created a lot of confusion, but it's really not out of the realm of possibility for people to be more in tune with these parts of themselves. It's been documented for over a century outside of psychology, in other areas of research-- anthropology, philosophy.

I'm going to be honest, I don't think a single one of the headmate sale blogs are real. I think they're antis trying to start shit. Like maybe one out of every ten is actually someone misguided behind the screen.

Even CDD systems still incorrectly believe in core theory, endogenics picked it up from us and don't know any better. System resets aren't real, but there are real experiences that can FEEL like a reset-- try being patient and educating people. Ignore the others, because some people just can't be helped, and you're better off spending your time spreading good, accurate posts than arguing with people who don't want to learn anything.

I forget what I was saying.

Anyways, I'm a pro endo sysmed.

I hope you'll stick around and see what's going on.

[gaiathemexicanbeauty]

it only takes a taste | mike schmidt x reader

word count: 1.6k

warnings: none! this is just pure fluff and maybe kind of slowburnish lol

this was loosely based off of it only takes a taste from the waitress musical! :3

idk i just really like the idea of late nights with mike even if he's too tired to even think straight lmao

also don't ask what time period this takes place in, i was born in 2004 and know like 2 things about the 70s-90s or whenever the movie takes place bc its never explicitly mentioned

i also do not regularly bake or cook so do not be afraid to go to my comment section and tell me if something sounds off

i love this man ok, i have said it 1000 times already but i've been in love with him ever since i first saw him when i was like 12 or 13 and was even more so obsessed with rebornica's mike design for YEARS. 12 year old me would have an aneurism if she knew about the fnaf movie

you let out a long yawn, one hand reaching up cover your mouth so as not to potentially ruin the mood of any customers around; granted, there was only two and they were graveyard shifters from somewhere outside of town but customers are customers. you'd been working at sparky's for a couple of months now, figuring it was an easy way to make some cash and keep food on the table. of course, you hadn't accounted for the very long hours that passed where you half debated trying to sneak away since no was around from 2-4:00 am: your boss would kill you, though, and you wanted to stay employed.

soft oldies music plays in the background as you glance over at the clock ticking away on the wall. just as you move to grab a rag to clean the counters for the 5th time during your shift, you hear the bell above the entrance jingle and don't even have to look up to know who it is.

mike wasn't a regular at first, just someone who popped in at random and very quietly asked for a coffee. after a while of starting a new job, he started coming in at almost 11:00 pm everyday and always asking for the same thing: just a plain, black coffee. "seriously?" you had said with a smirk the first time he said his order to you, your eyes widening at the attitude you had just given a customer. fortunately, mike was quick to respond with a tired but good natured laugh, his hands folded in front of him. "i'm all ears if you have other recommendations." he mumbled with a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, giving you instant relief.

now, it was just clockwork. "hey." mike sighs with a soft sigh, rubbing a hand over his eyes as he takes a seat at a chair by the counter you were standing behind. "coffee machine is kind of acting up tonight, you're gonna have to give it a minute. want anything else while you wait?" you say as you approach the counter, giving him a quick smile. mike is about to decline your offer, his lips parting to say something before his eyes land on something on the farther end of the counter. "what about that? still good?" "you're just in time. i was going to take the rest of it home." you say with a smile, walking over to the cake stand holding an apple pie with only 3 slices left of it. you take the lid off to plate it, handing it over to mike with a hum before bringing him utensils. you don't even get the chance to bring up to him that the slices have been sitting there for a couple of hours, blinking in shock at the way he's quick to start eating.

you turn your back to start taking down the chalkboard advertising the special from the day before, giving mike his one moment of quiet you were sure he needed. you start to think about what your day will consist of once you're done with your shift, dreading having to clean your room before you can actually sleep. "did you make this?" "yeah. why, is it bad?" you say with a chuckle, turning to look at mike again; your eyes widen a bit at the way mike is looking at you, his own eyes looking at you like he can't believe what he just put it in his mouth. "no, no, it's..it's really good, like. really good." your cheeks redden a bit at the sudden compliment, pushing a piece of hair behind your ear as you occasionally glance at him enjoying the pie you'd made; you wouldn't say you were amazing at cooking but you definitely knew enough to make a meal that would do more than just feed you.

it also didn't help that you'd been harboring a crush on mike for the past month. that you were aware of, he didn't have a partner of any kind but that might have been more to do with the fact he didn't have time for one than anything else. you at first brushed it off as just not having contact with anyone your age that late at night, just enjoying his company when nights got lonely. but you couldn't deny the way you would style your hair a bit differently or try a new perfume in the hopes of getting a compliment from mike; to your absolute pleasure, he almost always pointed it out. now to hear this sudden praise for your cooking took you out of your element.

"thanks, really, but i make it all the time. i can make thousands like it and they'll all be the same." you say with a light chuckle, crossing your arms against your chest as you look over at the cake stand sheepishly. "then maybe you should consider getting a day job making these instead." mike says between bites, giving you a playful smile. you can't help but scoff despite the smile on your face, looking over at mike again. "well, if it's that easy, maybe YOU should quit your job and come and join me. keep me company." the two of you have a quiet laugh, your cheeks reddening at the indirect compliment you had paid him. once his plate is empty, you take it away from him just to have an excuse to do something with your hands (also to get away from the almost fond look that mike was giving you right now, definitely not on par for him). there's a tense silence between the two of you before mike speaks up, clearing his throat when he speaks. "uh, i tried making that at home. the pie, i mean. i don't remember what kind it was right now, but it definitely didn't end as well as that." he says with a nervous laugh, hands folded in front of him again as you hear the coffee machine start to pour out his drink.

"well, what exactly did you do wrong?" with surprisingly no hesitance, mike goes on to tell the story of how sure he was about this recipe he'd seen in a catalogue, going above and beyond to make sure this "stupid thing" (his words) came out right. little did he know leaving his creation unattended for even a second would result in smoke pouring out of the oven and having to throw out a charred-black pastry; "and then abby went and acted like we could just go and do it all over again and.." mike starts, hands waving around uncharacteristically as he finished off his story. he caught the way you were trying to hold back a laugh, fingers pressed to your lips that were etched into a small smile. "it's ok, you can laugh all you want. i never tried doing it again." you can't help the laugh that leaves you once he gives you his full permission, still trying to keep your voice down. "i-i'm sorry, really.." you giggle once you've calmed down, rubbing your hands over your face before you start to walk around the counter to where mike is sitting. "but that's not how making a pie works. you can't just leave it like that or give up on the process that easily."

mike makes a face that says 'i'm listening', shrugging his shoulders when you sit on the stool next to him. "making a pie is like.." you start with a sigh, hands propping up your chin in thought as you look up at the clock. "you just know when some things feel right. if something is too much or too little, whether you need to start again or not. lord knows i've had to redo entire pies because the crust wasn't flaky enough or the filling didn't taste like apples enough." you say, chuckling a bit as you remember all the times you'd slaved away for almost entire days trying to nail down the perfect home recipe. you take a minute to think again, sitting back a bit as you smooth down your apron tied around your waist. "and it also doesn't help if you make something just to make something. when you bake or just cook a plain old steak, you have to make it like you're crafting a story or making a song. all of my best meals were made with someone or something in mind."

your cheeks go red again when you realize the very unprompted ramble you went on, a nervous laugh leaving you as you look down at your lap. "sorry, you totally don't have to-" "no, no, i-" the two of you jump a bit at the way you both try to speak first, sheepish smiles tugging at your lips before you go quiet again. the bell above the door jingles and you don't have to look up to know the two of you are alone now. "i like hearing about that sort of stuff. i really only hear about it when i'm here with you and it's..nice. different." your heart soars and you can only hope that mike can't somehow feel or hear it, trying to give him a warm smile without saying something you'll regret. you get up from your seat with a when he checks his watch, knowing that's code for 'i need to go' even before he stands. you're almost sure he'll leave without saying anything which you are simultaneously grateful for and hoped he wouldn't do, already busying yourself with some other menial task. "hey."

you look up almost as soon as he speaks, seeing the smile tugging at his lips and not able to contain your own. "save those leftovers for me. i hope it still tastes like you were trying to make it for me when i get back." he says, a smug look in his eyes as your lips part a bit in shock. you try to call out to him before he jogs out to his car, taking off accordingly.

-> ta da its done! :D <-

this was honestly less romantic than i wanted it to be but i promise that my brain is racked with thoughts of him literally EVERY DAY so mayhaps i can write something else that's more up to par one of these days

but thank yall for reading! :D i haven't been able to pump out a oneshot like this for a while and it felt good to write something longer than a couple of paragraphs, i have missed this account sm 🐺💗 love yall and i hope that you all are having a fantastic day!

[gtgbabie0]

One of those days

{James comforts you when your social battery runs low}

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You have been quiet all day, barely speaking no more than three words today and you just seem so distracted, miles away, you didn’t even answer the phone when Marlene called and now James was starting to worry.

“Baby?” He opens the bedroom door softly, noticing you curled up on the bed knees tucked towards your chest, you look over at him with a small smile, trying your best to muster up any kind of energy you have.

James walks over to the bed and takes a seat next to you on the bed, his hand goes to brush your hair away from your forehead, “What’s up hmm?” He asks softly, and you close your eyes when the back of his hand brushes against your warm cheek.

In all honesty, you don’t quite know exactly what’s wrong, you just feel so… bland and can’t find the energy to really do anything, talking to anyone just seems like such a chore, and it doesn’t help that there’s this voice that tirelessly shouts at you, telling you you’re being an awful friend by ignoring everyone, telling you that you’re being a horrible partner by sitting in the bedroom all day.

“I just feel so— meh,” you say, taking his hand from your face and holding it, it’s a silent plea for him to stay here with you, “I’m sorry lovely” you whisper bringing his hand to your mouth to press a gentle kiss against his knuckles.

He looks down at you with a small smile, “You don’t have to apologize lovely, you’ve done nothing wrong” he tells you, but James can tell from the unsure look in your eyes that you don’t believe him, and he knows exactly what you’re thinking.

"No, I do, I've been ignoring you all day, and Marlene" you whisper, tears building up in your eyes, "I don't even know why I feel like this, I'm just being ridiculous James, I'm sorry" you wipe your teary eyes.

His heart aches at the sight, “I don't mind lovely, I understand that you need some time alone, I promise” he says leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead, “And Marlene won’t be upset just because you had an off day” he wipes away the stray tears that fall from your eyes, his heart squeezing in his chest at the sadness that fills your eyes.

“Thank you” you whisper, a sudden guilt creeps up on you and you hate the fact he has to deal with this, with you, feeling like he has to carry your burden with him, the only thing you can do is apologize.

“Sweetheart, you’ve got nothing to apologize for” he promises you and you wonder what you’ve done to deserve such a lovely person in your life, “I’m here and I always will be, okay?” He tells you, kissing the tip of your nose, you let out a small breathy giggle, and you know you won’t win this argument, not with James’ stubbornness.

“Are you hungry?” He asks hand threading through your hair gently and you nod with a small smile.

“Yeah” you close your eyes once more basking in his loving warmth.

“Do you want to make lunch with me or should we order something? Your choice sweetheart” he says and you hum debating the options in your head.

“Let’s go cook something” you decided, sitting up and he happily nods taking your hand as you both walk into the kitchen, you already feel a little more replenished.

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[comicaurora]

I watched Castlevania: Nocturne the otger day and liked it a lot less than you seemed to, so I want to hear a more detailed opinion if you have one. Am I in the wrong to think it was more shounen and less "deep" in some way?

I'd say it's definitely more shounen. Introducing the "Richter can't do magic because unresolved trauma" thing right from the jump meant a Believing In Yourself powerup was pretty much inevitable, but I liked the execution of that scene enough that I didn't mind much.

It doesn't quite have the backbone of the original Castlevania, which was grounded so strongly in Dracula's apocalyptic grief - a motivation the audience is directed to find deeply understandable from minute one - that it gave the characters a solid thematic core to play off of. This let the writing stay pretty tight by letting Trevor serve as a foiling mirror for Dracula in their mutual disgust with the failures of human kindness, Sypha for Lisa in their altruistic use of their knowledge and their vilification for "witchcraft", and Alucard in the middle torn between worlds.

Nocturne is more loose and character-driven, but it still has a core theme - the argument over "the natural order" and how that plays into a fear of change from those currently on top. However, Richter doesn't really have a horse in that race, since his motivation starts and ends at Kill Vampires while everyone around him is more complex, trying to overthrow the aristocracy and free the enslaved and such. I think this makes Richter feel a little less important than Trevor was, narratively, because he sort of stands apart from the core philosophical debate at play. It took me a few episodes to get what his deal was and start caring about his self-actualization, and I think he's definitely got further to go. Possibly Alucard's presence in season 2 will give him more to play off of.

I think Nocturne has several independently interesting villains instead of one really good villain, which is a complaint I also saw about Castlevania season 4 - I liked Death just fine, but he really didn't work for everyone, and the secondary villains like Saint Germaine were much more interesting and complex. Nocturne does, however, pull off something Castlevania didn't as much, which is most of the characters acting on their own internal consistent motivation without cleanly falling into the "good guy" or "bad guy" box, causing them to slide into and out of conflicts and alliances depending on the circumstances.

I feel like Bathory is kind of a weak core villain with almost no human-level motivations or ideas beyond General Villainy, and the extent of her development being a darkest hour shonen villain powerup/frieza transformation doesn't help much, which is why I'm kind of holding out hope that they just bite the bullet and bring back Dracula. He's the nemesis from the Castlevania games, and while they gave him and Lisa a happy ending in Castlevania season 4, I don't think they need to keep him on the bench forever. It's been 300 years, Lisa is almost certainly long dead again and Dracula doesn't need to be full Mad With Vengeance Burn Down The World to still be a credible problem in need of a little Belmonting.

I had fun with season 1 of Nocturne with the understanding that the first four-episode "season" of Castlevania wasn't representative of the final shape of the story either. Sypha's character, for instance, was very flat before she and the gang went on their season 2 bonding adventure, not much more than some banter and infodumps. I think Nocturne did solid setup of the cast and the theme they'll be unpacking, and it has lots of room to explore these characters in interesting ways once they energy-ball-tennis Bathory out of the way first.

[jeonscatalyst]

I keep thinking about the billboard eyes debate about who's eyes it could be & the theories, if it could be him really revealing his future partner like Taeyang did, who he seems to have taken a lot of inspiration from on Muse. The more I think about it, I'm leaning toward the eyes being someone "WE" the fans are familiar with, that he has some kind of public relationship with already, because putting some random girl or guys eyes he's dating behind the scenes, that we aren't familiar with, never seen him with, wouldn't make sense to reveal it this way, like I'm with this person you have never seen with me, here are their eyeballs, so you can stop shipping me with so and so, when all it does is add more confusion. You know what I mean. I don't think he would go through that trouble to publicly announce on a billboard in a video seen by millions to introduce his real "stranger" partner that way, UNLESS there was already some familiarity there already that he knew fans would pick up on and recognize. It would be basically introducing a complete stranger to the world as your partner in a very cryptic way since its just their eyeballs. You would probably just go the natural way first before doing something big like that, like start going out with them publicly or publicly linking yourself to them, to ease people in like the way Tae did and was dropping hints about him and jennie even before the hacker exposed him. Like testing waters Following jennie and then going out with her in public to Jeju and being spotted with her even before the leaks happened and then after the leaks both wearing the same clothes and couple jewelry from the picture, before eventually going public together in paris. This is why I think if jimin was trying to announce who his heart belongs too this way, then most likely it makes sense for it to be someone people are already familiar with. Someone he knows people are familiar with, someone he had been dropping hints with beforehand. And well I can name someone who fits that role right now, because we seen it for years, but esp this past year. Does this make sense to anyone else, cause I don't see Jimin waking up and saying "my GF or BF" no one has ever seen with me, I think I'm just gonna add their eyes on a billboard, they won't be confused at all. Probably not the best plan since the majority of people think its Jk's eyes, even non believers. And def not the brightest plan, esp going from billboard eyes dropping, straight into AYS cause that only convinced people more its Jk's eyes with all that flirting and tension we saw. And if those ain't JK's eyes. Well you gotta feel sorry for that person after AYS, cause that ain't your man. Sorry. Just saying.

Hey anon,

I think we are putting a lot of thought into those billboards eyes to be honest. Is it possible that those eyes meant something? Sure but it is also possible that they were just some random person’s eyes…..or maybe even someone we do know but that doesn’t necessarily mean there is more to it.

Just like you, I too had obsessed over those eyes especially when I found out that Taeyang had his wife’s face on a billboard in one of his songs and Jimin has always admired Taeyang and wanted to somewhat follow his footsteps so the math is mathing and it isn’t exactly delusional to think that he might do something like that since it’s not impossible but I also realized that sometimes, somethings really don’t mean anything more.

I would admit that sometimes those eyes look a lot like Jk’s that I get shook and start to think there is no way those aren’t Jk’s eyes but other times I tell myself that maybe they are not and we are just seeing what we want to see or what we wish is the truth lol. I am at a point where that is a Jikook maybe to me. I am completely 50/50 on the possibility that it is or not.

As for whether Jimin would choose to put a complet stranger, I don’t see why not. I mean before Taeyang put his wife on that billboard I don’t think people knew about her no? So it is possible that it might be someone who we don’t know and haven’t seen around Jimin……but as I said, the eyes on the billboard might just be for effect and not mean anything more.

For now, I keep my thoughts on it at 50/50 and if someday we get to confirm that it was indeed someone we know and suspect, then……..

[hiiragi7]

hi there!! i've been reading some of the discussions you've had & many of them are super informative and some comforting to read from the perspective of someone who's questioning if they might be plural/have a CDD. i really appreciate ur blog & the views and experiences u share on it, it feels like a warm hug amidst The Horrors of Syscourse.

i've had something on my mind though. this is probably a silly question, but it's possible to have a CDD without (C)PTSD, right? admittedly i'm kind of just asking this for reassurance while i'm on my own discovery journey. like. i have experienced traumatic events and some of it is ongoing & i'm still living with the people responsible, but i don't think i fit the PTSD criteria due to not experiencing flashbacks or strong emotions related to the events—i usually just feel totally empty & detached from it. i still believe i've been negatively affected by the events hence considering them traumatic, but that doesn't include any kind of flashbacks.

i've been trying to look into it & find answers but i've seen a lot of conflating of having experienced trauma with having PTSD, so most of what i find is "can you be plural/have a CDD without trauma" discourse.

i think it'd be neat to see more conversations about this but free to ignore this ask if u don't want to answer it/if u don't feel equipped to! wishing u the best. have a great day!!

This is actually a very interesting question.

I've read a lot of medical literature on trauma, and each author in the field seems to define what qualifies as PTSD or PTSD symptoms differently, which also lines up with my own experiences with medical professionals in practice. In general, me simply being traumatized was enough for me to be given an automatic PTSD diagnosis, regardless of which therapist or psychiatrist I saw. Some professionals I saw were very specific with what they called what, others were a lot more loose with it.

I've seen a lot of differing definitions and academic debate over what qualifies as a flashback, dissociation, a posttraumatic symptom, and so on. That is to say, it can all be very vague.

For example, there are other forms of flashbacks that exist outside of the well-known ones; some people only relive traumatic events emotionally, or through repeated thought processes, or somatic pain. A lot aren't even aware these are flashbacks, because it's experienced as 'random' emotions or pain or spirals or some other response, and a lot have trouble figuring out what even triggers these responses.

Would these experiences fall under what we call flashbacks in PTSD? Well, it probably depends on who you ask. And, in practice, whether someone with these experiences gets diagnosed with PTSD or a mood disorder or a personality disorder or somatic pain syndrome depends on the medical professional evaluating them.

To further complicate it, a lot of people don't experience overt c/PTSD symptoms until they are no longer living in the traumatic situation, which, for people who develop cPTSD, means they may not show obvious symptoms until a very, very long time after the trauma started. I didn't start getting "classic" PTSD flashbacks and "waking up in a panic attack in the middle of the night" type nightmares about the trauma until I wasn't around the people who did it anymore. However, I have experienced many other trauma-related symptoms and heavy dissociation ever since I was very very little. Before I was diagnosed with PTSD in highschool, I was diagnosed with a lot of other things first.

There's also just the fact that, for whatever reason, people don't all develop the same symptoms in response to trauma. Some people with very complex trauma never experience classic PTSD symptoms. Some people are very dissociative and numb, or develop mood disorders, or obsessive-compulsive symptoms, or somatic symptoms, or eating disorders, or some combination of things. Some people never externally harm themselves or cope using substances while others develop addictions to these things.

In addition, some people's experiences with trauma don't fall under the PTSD criteria's definition of trauma, so even if other symptoms are present they don't "technically" fit criteria. And sometimes medical professionals use their own judgement and diagnose these people with PTSD anyway, and sometimes they don't.

Plenty of people diagnosed with other childhood trauma-based disorders besides CDDs also don't fit c/PTSD criteria or show many c/PTSD symptoms or receive a comorbid c/PTSD diagnosis for whatever reason. It's complicated and messy.

This is all to say, I've encountered medical professionals who treat PTSD as synonymous with "traumatized" and are very loose with what they call PTSD and I've also encountered medical professionals who are very strict about the criteria and are very insistent on only diagnosing people who fit that, and I've met a lot of professionals somewhere in the middle as well. I've also encountered plenty who would much rather focus on helping the symptoms than on what the diagnosis is or isn't, and who don't really like the way mental health diagnosis is structured in the first place.

So, to come back to your question... I don't think there really is an objective answer to it, though personally I'd just say "sure it's possible, and I wouldn't really worry about it much."

In the end, what I've found is that it doesn't actually really matter that much? Regardless of whether there is comorbid PTSD or whether there isn't (or whether it's delayed onset or etc), in the end what you're dealing with if you have a CDD is still trauma, and the treatment for that is more or less the same, regardless of what you call it. There might be differences in, say, approaches to medication specifically, or specific symptoms, but even that is often just throwing things at the wall and seeing what sticks. Honestly, in my experience, treatment mostly looks different based on symptoms and individual needs rather than diagnoses, really.

In general, I find that a lot of people dealing with trauma and mental illness tend to over-focus on diagnosis and getting it right and trying to figure out whether they "really" have something or whether they're mistaken or somehow faking or so on. I think that's an unhelpful approach to it; there's no objective way to confirm that sort of thing, and either way you still need ways to cope with your symptoms, and coping skills are useful regardless of diagnosis. Learning how to ground yourself is useful regardless of whether you "really" dissociate that bad, learning emotional regulation skills is useful regardless of whether you "really" have severe mood swings, learning calming techniques and self-care and how to be gentle with yourself are good things for everyone to learn, coping skills are not just for people with certain diagnoses. In fact, you don't even need a diagnosis of anything to do these things.

And with trauma, like... it's all just trauma processing in the end, really.

I'll even go as far to say that even if you don't have PTSD, books and resources for PTSD might still be useful to you if you have a CDD or another trauma-related disorder, since a lot of symptoms overlap with other disorders and especially with trauma the recommendations for what to do about it tend to be applicable to a lot of different situations outside of strictly PTSD.

I realize I rambled a long time just to say "well, it's complicated and depends on what we mean by PTSD, but also it's all trauma anyway" but I hope this was helpful still?

I'm also glad to hear what you said about my blog, it was very nice to read.

[drdemonprince]

Your blog is like a breath of fresh air. Thank you for all the wonderful thoughts and writing.

That said I actually have a question. I am pro-palestine(it feels stupid to call it that, as if it should even be a debate) and in a very left leaning friend group. But also a very white academic one. You know the type, read Marx, dream of the revolution but continue studying to end up in 9 to 5s instead of doing anything(I am guilty of it too, this isn't meant as insult just a description)

Anyways, as you can imagine they have been extremely hesitant when it comes to having any opinion on Israel or Palestine. That wouldn't be a problem in itself, I know how to start topics with them and get them thinking usually but in this case there is an additional problem. Whenever I try to broach the topic I get shutdown with "Look at all the shit that is going on here, our country is falling into fascism, I just don't have the energy to deal with this conflict. Please don't talk about it because it's triggering". And I have zero clue what to do. Forget getting them to go on protests with me, I can't even speak to them about it and feel really guilty. Its me bringing up a heavily triggering topic after all. It feels wrong to feel guilty though. I know at the end of the day it's not important if I could convince some people to give a fuck but do you have any advice? How to get over this guilt or maybe how to broach a topic with that considered?

My main problem is my fear of losing my friends because I have been ill for some time(as in physically unable to leave the house for more than a short grocery run, or my visits to the doctor, because of pain and my friends are what keep me alive) and losing their help would be not good.

My exact situation aside, do you have advice for someone to broach a topic that others describe as unpleasant/triggering without causing a huge rift in the group?

Thanks for your kind words and your question, Anon.

I think your friends suck and that you can do better than them. I think you should get out there and find yourself some Black, brown, working class anarchist and anarco-communist buds (and Marxists who show up for others in a real, observable way in their regular lives) as soon as you can.

I know that wasn't the answer you were looking for. But I have seen this kind of entirely theoretical, jaded, self-superior, passive, white well-off Marxist type a thousand times before, and I've failed to ever see them show up for other people in any kind of consistent way.

And it's not only the people systematically crushed beneath the wheel of Capital half a world away that they neglect, either. They tend to be pretty shitty friends and neighbors when it all comes down to it on the micro-level, too. Their smug over-intellectualism and dispassionate cynicism allows them to justify remaining disengaged and going along with the status quo in a way that ultimately serves capitalism very well.

There is a theoretical basis to this selfishness and disengagement, I will admit. This type of overly academic Marxist typically believes that the fall of capitalism is inevitable, that humans lack free will and only behave as befits their obvious material interests, and that there is nothing that one can do on a personal level to hasten any kind of Revolution, so there is nothing left to do but wait, and take care of oneself, and allow the future to unfold.

This is a perspective explicitly advocated for by people like the Chapo Trap House guys, and among academic white boy communist types, it is incredibly popular. I remember hearing Matt Christman saying on his vlogs that he essentially does not believe the conditions allowing capitalism to fall will happen in his lifetime, and so his only responsibility is to just take care of himself and his family and be comfortable.

Ultimately, these types wind up sounding and behaving exactly like capitalist economists who believe that everyone is rationally motivated only by increasing their personal wealth. They are disengaged from politics except insofar as they like to make snide jokes about current events for their own entertainment and enrichment, and they don't see themselves as having the capacity to exert a positive influence on the world, nor any obligation to. It's bleak shit.

At the same time, if your friends are in the circles that tend to read and listen to and promote this kind of stuff, surely they have also been exposed to popular leftist voices advocating loudly for the Palestinian cause. And yet still they have done nothing.

Hasan Piker has been vocally pro-Palestine his entire career, and his Twitch channel has been providing near constant coverage of Palestinian issues since October 7th. True Anon has had multiple episodes on the Israel Lobby, the suppression of pro-Palestinian activism and journalistic coverage, and has aired interviews with Normal Finkelstein. Palestine is the central topic of nearly every Trillbilly Worker's Party podcast for months now.

These are widely popular voices among the very types of Marxists that you say that your friends are, and many of these creators are close friends with the Chapo Trap House guys, whom your friends almost certainly are taking notes from. So it's nearly impossible to imagine that your friends have not encountered the near constant coverage of the struggle of the Palestinians that all the rest of us have. And yet still your friends do nothing. Still they do not care, and dismiss you when you share with them how despairing you feel.

Your friends have turned off an essential part of their hearts, I think. And I don't mean they lack empathy. Not having empathy is fine, I don't have it either -- but I make the conscious choice to care about the Palestinian cause and to advocate for it, because it aligns with my values. I give a fuck. My giving a fuck is conveyed through my actions, not through what I think about or how I feel.

Your friends are showing no interest in learning more about this genocide or doing anything about it. Perhaps some degree of ignorance or hesitancy could be justified early on because the Israeli apologist propaganda is so far reaching, but we're well past the point of that explaining away inaction by now. Over 100,000 people are missing and over 30,000 are known to be dead and little girls are being shot by snipers while seeking medical care while babies are left to rot in their NICU beds.

Your friends know this. Maybe not everyone in the world does, but if they're so well-read about leftist issues, your friends do. And they have chosen, for some reason, not to care. They've disconnected from the pain the Palestinian people are in, unplugged from the steady stream of upsetting information, sought comfort in a politics that says all too conveniently that nothing they do matters, and when you try to share with them how much anguish you are feeling about the mass deaths happening throughout the world, they're dismissive toward you.

Your friends suck. If acknowleding reality and confronting the horrors of a genocide is too tough and triggering for them, then a lot of horrors here at home will be too much for their fragile egos too. There are so many leftists you could be surrounding yourself with instead, I promise -- people who give back to their communities, people who are in the streets doing the tough work of feeding and housing and fighting for the release from prison of people every day, instead of using those local struggles as a shield for their inaction on a more global scale.

Fuck these people for real. This is a big glaring red flag and it will be relevant to your friendship and your life. One day many of them might see you and your problems and your human needs as too much of a distraction from their dry academic jerk-off sessions too. I've seen it a dozen times. Sorry to be so blunt. But you seem like a person who is putting their attention in all the right places and I don't want to see that compassion squandered on people who won't ever show you the same consideration. You can find people who actually walk the walk, they're everywhere.