#you create no true connections
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Also I should say it’s very interesting to see how Karna is a “my people” type of person. Anyone else she interacts with are considered expected casualties. She is not particularly inspired by revenge or greed (again, she’s been dying before she has truly lived. There’s a particular freedom in that lack of worldly expectations and connections). But here are 4 people who she met at such a young age, a time where she’s already got blood on her hands, and just the thought of them hurt, suffering, ailed in anyway upsets her.
And it’s not just Deli. Yeah, there’s the joke that Karna likes Deli, she’s grown to love him from a tiny little crush to full blown adult feelings. But look at she treats Raphaniel. Look at what she gave up for Amangeaux (anyone else, and she would have leveraged that child, would’ve forced their hands). Look at her sympathy to Colin. Her consideration to him not liking magic, and as such does not use it on him unless he explicitly asks.
These are her people. The world could burn for all she cares. But not them. Not these four.
#disconnection to deep feeling#it’s like walking through the world not connected to anything#remaining untethered to the people around you#you create no true connections#just ideas strings that lead to nowhere#and then suddenly you are forced into a reality where you actually care about someone#more than someone even#and it’s terrifying#and exhilarating#and all consuming#karna solara#dimension 20#the ravening war#d20 trw#dimension 20 trw#dimension 20 the ravening war#*
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"It's so embarrassing to admit I only create art for validation" did paleolithic humans not paint for other humans to see. Does a child making their first drawing to show their parents makes it any less valuable. Do gardens arranged for the visitors' eyes make the roses any less beautiful. Do love poems written for one person alone to hear make your heart ache less. You're fine
#jay rambles.txt#two very hard pills to swallow: 1. art has always been created for money and it's a very normal practice in human history#and actually artists being expected to produce art for free or as cheap as they do now is a relatively new thing#2. humans have always created art for validation because being recognised and understood by your fellow humans is a universal human need#if you start to idealise artistry as something inherently selfless that needs to come with no gain or benefits or instead brings only pain#you are going down a VERY dangerous path of not being able to express yourself without shame - if at all#and potentially dragging other people you told close down into that mentality too if you're vocal about it#I've been there#I am there#It's a shitty feeling but the only way out of it is true embrace your need to be loved and desire for human connection or it won't end well#idk that's my opinion tho
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indeed my exact process once every 8 months or so
#I just thought today of a new way to format a 'profile' (like the descriptions of self that people use on friend meeting#apps and stuff) and how to organize the sections so that it seems such and such a way and oh what if there's links which click off#into branching paths so it's very acessible and there are two different forms depending on so on and so forth#and i was like 'um.. wow. amazing idea. this will be soooo aweseome and will definitely work' but then .. you know...self reflection#lol.. is this just like the millions of other iterations of a similar thing? No.. This Is Different ... Surely...#Though if I had a millionaire friend and a few people who do the type of coding you use for web design stuff and etc..#I could create the most elaborate detailed and amazing platonic friend seeking (and I guess you could also have 'dating' as an option#since that would draw in more of a crowd) website on the earth.. the new okcupid (back when okcupid didn't suckishly abandon their#whole format in hopes of trying to become just like tinder or whatever and they actually had like tons of info and percentages and#open answer questions and would list personality traits on a profile (like 'this person is more Open To New Expereinces than 65% of#other users' etc.). etc. etc. Oh what a beautiful thing I could craft for the detail freaks of the world.... Alas...#unfortunately we seem to be in an oversimplification era.. everything in short quick bites. everything on a tiny phone screen. etc.#marketing 'Introducing The Most Complicated Data Heavy Social Connection Site In The World' would not sell well I'd imagine gjhgjh#AANYWAY.. also no idea why the representation of me is in a turtle neck. what a bold fashion choice..#In another moment of self reflection.. the fact that in the first tag on this post I felt the need to define the word 'profile' just to be#specific as if people couldn't tell from context.. so clearly someone who finds filling out forms a 'fun afternoon activity' lol#the type of guy who finds psych evaluations and pop quizzes and making chore lists mostly enjoyable (< true)
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I think one of the great problems that faces people who are in the industry – within which they have to express themselves – is learning to ignore entirely anyone else’s opinion, especially complimentary opinions because the luxury with being assaulted is that you know instinctively that you’re not to take that onboard because that would affect – in a negative way – what you’re doing. But the same thing could be said for compliments, but they come in sheep's clothing. They invite you to give your sense of self-esteem to someone else because as soon as you start relying upon compliments, then you are giving away your own... I can’t think of the word, but you should be the crux of your own opinion. –Grian Chatten from Fontaines D.C. on Live with KEXP [x]
#every time i hear him speak in an interview i gain a new level of appreciation for him and the band#they are truly refreshing in their outlook and approach to things#his analogies and metaphors are so visceral. comparing compliments and criticism to an 'assault' of sorts is very interesting#that seems to be the age-old question about art though isn't it?#is it good because people like it and connect with it and that's how you measure its success?#or is it successful to you because you're proud of what you've created regardless of how it's received?#people will be quick to praise when they like something that you create but they'll be even quicker to criticize when they don't like it.#and then get angry when you don't do what they want or expected of you#like in the interview he did with nme when he said when people start to think they know you creatively - it feels like flies settling on yo#idk i find it good reminder for everyday life. you can't let people's perceptions & expectations of you dictate what you do#cause it's true. then you start relying on other people to determine your value and worth.#grian giving me life lessons and not even knowing it. thanks babe#fontaines d.c.#grian chatten#interview#kexp 2019#mine
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bonds are necessary for the true hypnosis mic to be used according to rei!!!! so bonds not only negate the effects on the target, but also on the user as well!!!!!
#this is vee speaking#the amount of love rei has can bring humanity to its knees i think#like i feel like that’s basically rei saying as long as you have love nothing can harm you/anything that’s broken can be fixed#i wonder what hypmic would have been like if all six divisions actually got to be in the series from the start lol#like i feel like i was right about rosasa being created for rei to get him into the battles#esp now that we know HIS agenda behind the drbs was to find a user#and in harmonious cooperation we learned you can share a mic so if the bond’s strong enough#they can withstand the effects together#oof i’m straying from my original thought lol but i like this train of thought better lol#chuuoku intentionally brought nagosaka in to utilise their bonds with ichiro and samatoki#so i can’t tell if chuuoku fully understood why the drbs were a thing???#but i assume so and ramuda and jakurai was just their easiest back up plan????#like tho half the teams were put together by choice the other half (posse dh bat) were government crafted#and setting aside posse for being crafted for watchdog reasons lol nagosaka were intentionally made and made using bonds#rei went to rosasa and bat’s connecting thread was hitoya#so i think chuuoku must have also been in on the drbs plan 🤔#and ramuda now that i’m thinking about it????#like he may not know the entire picture but he seemed to know when to step in to combat the true hypnosis mic effects hmm 🤔#lol look at me spontaneously building an observation from ground up thru tags again having food for thought is always fun lol
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i think loving things is a great thing!!! yay!!!! i just got hit with happy beams!! and you get happy beams too!!!
#lizzy speaks#I AM A SO VERY EMOTIONAL LIZZY#'what happened to them?' someone asks#just minding my own business and then i stumble across really pretty art on twitter and i feel like i've fallen down a staircase again#(the art was ry0m1na and im so. oh my god they're the most video game couple ever for me i think)#i say this all the time because it's true!!!! i think its so nice when there's something that makes one happy :D#i think i need to stare at the ceiling or something i love seeing people draw things that make them happy... their happiness reaches me!!!#anyway happy thursday everyone! or friday. its probably friday for most people. great job getting through the week!! keep going!! ur awesom#im sooo ohhhhhh i wish everyone a 'i hope you can connect with creative outlets and other things that make you happy'#i am not really in a drawing mood right now but it does not change that i am happy when other people are creating :D#also i saw the trailer for p3 from gameawards... oh i want to eat those animated cutscenes they look SO SO nice i cant wait for reload!#sobbs profusely i am full of love on this thursday and needed to get it out there somewhere
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dipping my toe into fandom discourse here, which is never a great idea, but—i really am baffled by the contingent of fans who apparently want AO3 to not only denounce but ban AI-generated works, as if there were any reliable way to distinguish between mediocre writing produced by a human and mediocre writing produced by an AI…?
#i saw someone say elsewhere‚ and agree‚ that all a ban would accomplish wld be to discourage fans who make use of AI from indicating as much#i do personally think the best writing won't be by AIs#or at least‚ it'll have been edited with a fine-toothed comb by a human who's got a really good sense of style and story themself#such that they could've produced the writing unaided‚ and the AI armature is just a crutch#but imo the big issues with AI are like. (1) the dataset it gets trained on—#though like. human artists *also* view other people's art and incorporate it into their body of influences‚ tbh?#we just get mad when they copy someone else's work TOO directly. but it's in their heads informing the art they produce!—#and (2) its potential to put humans out of work—which i have *huge* sympathy for‚ but also… that's been true of every machine ever invented#(also like. fandom is a gift economy‚ not paid work‚ so that aspect of things literally doesn't apply in an AO3 context.)#but like people have brought up the luddites in connection with this and. yeah.#ultimately there's always still a place for human operators and human oversight and human curation of the machines' raw output#and so ultimately i think we'll just have to work out what that place will be in this context#and in the meantime—i'd hope people would disclose when work has been created using AI#which they absolutely *won't* do if sites are out there banning it! people who want to use it will still use it‚ and just lie!#like you can say 'but then you don't get the satisfaction of knowing you're being praised for work *you* did‚ bc the AI did it!'#'surely that sense of being an impostor will discourage people!'#but like. hello. i've seen (and reported) multiple *very clear* instances of fic plagiarism.#the fact that those 'authors' were getting praised for‚ not only work they didn't do‚ but *someone else's* work‚ did not deter them!#saw someone going 'AO3 has its particular set of organizing principles & that's valid! we should just make our own sites where we ban AI!'#and like. hello: if your mini-archive gets popular enough that ppl want to be part of it‚ posters who use AI *will* just lie to you???#(i'm curious abt the overlap between that camp and users who think DNIs are effective‚ lol.)#anyway.#Fannish Ethical Concerns
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visual for how delta was born lol i'll put this on the shelf i'll finish it in like a year i think it would be a good learning piece
#the nerve stuff isnt meant to be there but im thinking about how to connect them#basically [mom] took a fragment of her heart and gave it life so he could be proof of angelkinds past legacy if she ended up succumbing to#um. like if she disappeared. and it would be like look... angels.. this is us.. everything they took from you is still here..!!!!#so like technically delta is just a little part of her but like she created him. so mother son moment is real#btw shes an angel who rebelled against corrupt angels (whos goal is to see the end of the universe) and she worked with devils/angels/humans#but she failed in the end and her death got covered up. however she is still revered by god who remember/fought w her and devout believers#but many didnt know of delta's existence so he is never treated like a god's child unless they had connections to the event'#revered by gods***** plural. she wasnt a god herself but ppl treated her as one after the rebellion#also when i say corrupt angels i mean like angels but they are assholes in postions of power. in thjat case technicallty#[mom] would be the true fallen angel in that sense. if u go against the principles of heaven u wouldnt be an angel anymore correct ?#anyway theyre just loosely based on heaven/hell anyway its not meant to mimic it]#my art
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ok but you know how Ronan dreamed Matthew? Matthew with his angelic looks and personality that is nothing like the rest of the Lynch Brothers? and you know how Nancy stopped hanging out with Mike around the time Holly was born? Holly with her angelic looks that are nothing like the rest of the Wheelers? and you know about Mike and the manifest- GUNSHOT
just thinking
#mike's manifestation powers make me think about ronan's dream powers and the similarities idk#how ronan dreamed a whole place the cabeswater without even knowing but while cabeswater is like a paradise the upside down is like hell#it just makes me think you know#how ronan created cabeswater and then adam the boy he loved formed a connection to it and got powers and became 'possessed' by it#mike created the upside down and will the boy he loves has a connection to it and was posessed by the mf#it just makes me THINK#i am sorry i just woke up in the middle of the night and i'm somewhere between dream and reality#so idk if this even makes sense i read trc years ago and don't remember shit so idk if my facts are true at all dbbss#anyways#mike wheeler#byler#the raven cycle#trc
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I hope to be as honest and real as this one day 🧡
keep going
#here I am again#sitting in my car#trying not to cry#Because once again a form of media exposed my heart in a way I can’t explain#And I want to know the reason why#Is it the pain that all connects us?#The shared desire to be simply be seen or heard#That allows us to cross the shattered chasms of our own broken world#To reach for another soul in hopes to remind that all is not lost#Your suffering is difficult#nothing changes that fact#But the fact you use it to connect and create#this….this is the true measure of the cost#just being jayus#serendipity247
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If your democrat friends start muttering about stolen election conspiracy theories, the time to have a sit down with them and express your concerns is NOW, while you still have a chance to reach them, not 6 months from now when they're fully conspiracy-pilled.
Here's some of the talking points and why they're bullshit:
'10 million votes don't just disappear!' -> Joe Biden's 81 million votes were a statistical outlier, sparked by the recent experience of the Trump presidency. The democrats failed to maintain that sense of urgency, but Harris still got more votes than Hillary Clinton, more than Obama and more than any previous democratic candidate. These numbers are not weird at all.
'The Republicans tried to infiltrate election- and vote counting organizations!' -> yeah, they did, and yet hundreds of independent legal observers didn't see anything go wrong enough to raise any alarms. Independent exit polls are also very consistently similar to the counted votes. Tons of international organizations specialized in this stuff observed the election and didn't see a reason to raise the alarm.
'But I know a dozen democrats whose mail-in votes were not counted!' -> In any election a certain number of votes are registered as invalid because something was wrong with the ballot. In a country the size of the US, that translates to many thousands of votes. The internet allows these people to find each other, creating the false impression that a suspiciously large group of votes was not valid.
'Musk used Star Link to mess with electronic voting!' -> Electronic voting machines are not connected to the internet and dozens of independent media have already debunked this myth. It is absolutely impossible to use Star Link to fake election results.
'There is voter disenfranchisement!' -> This is true. This has always been true, for every election. It's an issue worth talking about but it's not a special secret conspiracy that's unique to this election.
But just as importantly as the facts: sit down with your friend and talk about the anxiety that's behind their conspiracy leanings. Acknowledge their pain and fear. Help them find ways to feel less powerless and regain their sense of agency. Take them to a mutual aid event, involve them in a fundraising event for a marginalized group, invite them to a local community effort. If they spend more time feeling connection and empowerment and less time doom scrolling online, they're far more likely to stay in reality.
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in the past i never understood how people could ship the faerie and leonard together romantically and i still don't. but i was wrong either way bc even if i don't get it romantically i now have come to understand that they truly were meant to be together as an inseparable pair with an inseparable bond that have taken each other's lives to the point the one would be permanently shaken if something were to happen to the other. always something missing, always something not there....... i was wrong to ever doubt them; truly there is nothing better in this world than the lightless grief of a huge muscular man and the nefarious creature that seeks to endlessly torment him
#gu6chan's musings#drakengard#drag on dragoon#leonard drakengard#faerie drakengard#there's this one 18+ doujin i bought of them in a modern AU and i decided to finally sit down and read it again today and MAN... MAN......#you have me considering things...........#the best way i can explain it is that with a ship like caionard theres a certain underlying mutual grief that shapes their whole dependence#on each other as means to deal with their OWN tragedies and how the other looks to them in the scope of that; its not a romance EXACTLY but#the connection with each other warped by their own worldview (tainted by flaws and past) creates a very demented; twisted undertone of it#theres nothing personal about it to the faerie though that little rat just seeks to cause pain and havoc for the fun of it#and the guy it decided to spend its life tormenting just so happens to think he deserves it so what are the faeries thoughts on that????#none whatsoever. it KNOWS its getting under his skin and he's never gonna grow a backbone and that's all that matters askghsdkhjd#ANYWAYS; reading the doujin over again i realised that..... i learned the true depths of their dynamic with one another and i learned that#the personal aspect is the backbone to what makes romance ROMANCE; as opposed to some other thing. im learning a lot#Thank you; faerinard porn!!!! <3
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i started reading mccarthy's all the pretty horses and so far it reminds me a lot of how i felt reading death comes for the archbishop i.e. a lot like a landscape painting. except cather's book felt more like a landscape painting in which humans are alien in their surroundings and action disrupts the landscape whereas w/ mccarthy the people bleed into each other and the landscape. bodies don't get carefully described and when description is made it creates a really specific snapshot image, such as the cowboy standing leaning against the wall with one boot up against the wall behind them. very distinct, like a painting itself, which inevitably makes you think of "picturebook horses." everyone seems like a "picturebook person" i guess. anyway i'm only about a quarter of the way into the book so we'll see how i feel later.
#i really like mccarthy's prose to the point where it makes me annoyed with both him and myself#the lack of distinction and body creates this dissociative quality i really really enjoy#both cold and concise and also simultaneously nebulous and abstract#the more objectively you try to view it the more objectivity falls short of true understanding and connection#that sort of feeling
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Ahhh I was sitting thinking on Lev's connections to various sun deities and which ones involve him and which don't. They vary between him himself, his sons, him originally now someone else, his archetypes, he uses some names occasionally, he shares other names, some are conceptual Sun Things he's tied to as a sun deity, etc....
But you know. I wasn't expecting to get thrown into a copy of... what is this?? Rig Veda?? On to a page he opened months ago when I tried to open a different file, and now I'm getting schooled on Surya
#Godddd. All the Seven Versus Six stuff is fucking wild. Because that's like. Lev's thing lmfao#The Six That Are Seven. The shatkona is a diagram of 7 points. Seven rays of the Sun. seven horses on the charior#chariot. reading through this part and it keeps saying like ''those who know tell me'' and ''those who have good eyes will know'' and I'm#like yeah. lmfao. I know. This is the Sun King - the king of Six=Seven#But also. Surya AFAIK is just a name he uses. Or I presumed before reading this that yeah that's someone in his lineage or someone#he oversees or knows that's Surya... But now I'm like. We're you once Surya? Don't smile at that#Anyway. I do love how Lev's approaching this with me by just entertaining various configurations of truths that are true when#isolated but not the full picture and then just. reconfiguring them. I need to keep reading but#I mean. I need to keep reading to form an opinion on Surya but all I know is this whole talk on the six and seven like bruh#OK. Well. It's at least your family yeah that's very signature lmfao#Especially getting into ''the seven were created at the same time. Six of these are connected like twins. Although they function#independently they were created at the same time and have the same origin.'' like yeah. I mean. Yeah. They're paired#The shatkona shows they're paired in three groups and it's really really significant to understand that they originated#from the same point that's like Key Gnosis lmfao that the shatkona display of the seven... They're intermingled. They are separate#and they are from the same point. Oh yeah. ''the learned ones use seven different types of thread to create the universe that can#be seen and lived in'' again! Yes! Those With Eyes weave the tapestry created by the seven/six and the reality they create#is the one perceived and lived in because outside of that is the source of the six and the six exist both inside each other and creating#themselves as a whole in - anyway#~abyssal murmurs
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#taurusmood#creating over you beauty connect whit universe#loyalty#soroundgoodmood#the more kind you give keep brething#staybrave#be your true self#connectincide#breathon
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fascinating new argument has entered the animal rights field: "it's okay to breed animals for a specific human-related purpose over a long period of time and then continue exploit their bodies for that purpose even when they are no longer obligated to because they enjoy fulfilling that purpose. because we bred them to enjoy it"
Not to sound like I was raised by protestants, but I think those kids who argue that it's animal abuse to put working dog breeds to work doing the tasks they were bred and born for have simply genuinely never encountered the concept that they, too, could be genuinely happier if they could do work they found wortwhile and enjoyable. Like engaging in useful and constructive activities might genuinely make life better than a life of doing absolutely nothing because nobody's making you do anything.
#“genetic memory” oh you mean the genes? that we bred into them? *for the purpose of exploiting them?*#yes I'm sure that must feel like a PROFOUND moment of spiritual awakening and cosmic joy for them#like they're finally truly connecting to the authentic nature of their souls. and. certainly Not the result of Literal Genetic Conditioning#this is 'but horses need exercise 🥺' and 'but sheep need to be sheared 🥺' all over again Good Lord#isn't it just So convenient that the ones who still ultimately benefit/profit from this dynamic/narrative are the Exploiters?#'no no it's okay to exploit them because we made it so they cannot function or be happy if we don't. see? it all works out fine 😊❤'#I wonder if dogs 'genetically remember' a long history of being abused by their owners for failing to perform their tasks too 🤔🤔🤔#you know. because it's just so *incredibly* easy to treat an animal ethically when you literally Create them with the intention of#a) being your property and b) performing labour for your benefit#and I'm sure destigmatizing the concept of 'putting these dogs to work' certainly isn't a narrative that will ultimately benefit#those people who Do still actively exploit and abuse these animals for labour and want the legal right to do so 🤔🤔🤔 surely not.#'herders will herd because herders must herd' yes exactly. herders will heard because they'll get disciplined if they don't#where do you think the concept of being 'well trained' comes from?????#“nobody's making you do anything” I think breeding an animal for a specific purpose certainly counts as Making Them Do That Thing#is OP seriously comparing like. human beings Enjoying Doing Meaningful Work to animals that had their Genetic Coding Physically Altered????#BY HUMANS??????????? SO WE COULD EXPLOIT THEM FOR IT???????????????#IN WHAT WORLD ARE THOSE COMPARABLE SITUATIONS.#'Ah I love being an artist and performing massive amounts of voluntary labour for something I'm passionate about'#'truly feels like I've found my life's purpose!!! my true calling!!!'#'I'm so glad that race of benevolent aliens coded my love of art into my DNA strands 😊💞💞💞'#'boy they sure do seem excited to sell all my paintings though!!! wonder what that's all about'#and don't even get me STARTED on 'everyone deserves to experience that at some point in their life'#the level of romanticization and anthropomorphization here makes me wanna' Barf#do you seriously think animals are Incapable of feeling any kind of emotional or physical fulfillment without being BRED into it????#do you think this was like??? a nice GIFT we gave them???? out of our sheer benevolence and desire for their happiness????????#let's not even BEGIN to unpack the harrowing implications of genes fundamentally dictating a living being's ''purpose'' in life#because WHEW BOY. that line of thinking veers DANGEROUSLY close to a certain political ideology.#and let me be clear I'm not talking about like giving a dog a similar form of activity to its ''purpose'' as enrichment that's Fine#but OP specifically says 'putting working dog breeds To Work doing the tasks they were bred and born for.' aka. continuing to exploit them#why do you think they were bred and born for it? huh? for THEIR benefit? for THEIR enjoyment?
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