#you could always post it somewhere with better format and link it in a tumblr post‼️‼️

[serialunaliver]

cosmo wanda I wish everyone posting their long fanfics on here just posted them on wattpad

[jasperandhenryslovechild]

YOYOYOYO DYSTOPIA AU / OC LORE DROP!!!

i decided that im gonna do it out of order because it makes it a lot funner for me to put things together and stuff!! but yeah yeah this is a chunky read, abt ~5600 words give or take? and tumblr kept posting it when i wasn't done fixing the formatting and it was so horrid😭😭 but it's good now!!

im gonna probably reblog this or edit it later with an ao3 link to make it easier to read

but yes yes i hope someone in this world enjoys this au a fraction as much as i do because that would have made all this struggle to getting it out worth it :)

reblog / reply with literally anything you thought about this i am in desperate need for someone to know about this in the way i do sososoososo that being said have fun

SEPTEMBER 7, 2024

DYSTOPIA, [UNIDENTIFIED]

2:26 AM

"Are you mad at me?" Ollie asks as he's following his friend down a dark alley behind Mallory's Community Center. Yara looked a bit off-putting right now— walking with an indignation that sort of scared him. If Ollie wasn't her friend, he'd avoid her.

"No," she responded, voice soft. Kind.

In this entire operation, Yara was the only thing Ollie trusted. She was the only thing Ollie stayed for. He didn't trust anything here. This was a cult, and sure, he was currently best friends with a girl in a cult, but she was kind. She was different than them. Ollie knew that if he could take her out of Dystopia, if he could take her to Swellview and on boat trips and hold her hand in his room while they did each other's hair (platonically, of course— his heart had always been set on that boy who'd stayed in Swellview after he'd left), she'd be a different person.

She'd do better.

"What is this, then?"

She didn't respond. It kind of scared Ollie. She'd broken into the house in the middle of the night, she'd opened his window and told him to pack everything he wanted to keep into a bag and leave with him. It was fucking creepy. Nay, it was terrifying. Ollie hadn't thought the operation would reach the lengths of his own home. But Henry had said he could go, he'd put a tracker on him just in case. Just to make sure he'd never be far.

And like that, he'd followed Yara. And over these weeks of getting to know her, he knew he'd follow her pretty much anywhere. But right now, he doubted if that was even a smart choice to begin with.

They turned a corner, getting further from Mallory's Community Center and closer to places Henry had banned the group as a whole from going to. Everyone except himself, of course, because he was always an exception. Ollie could scoff at it. But he'd said it was one of the more dangerous corners that Dystopia had to offer— big league villains with objectives and goals bigger than them. Things not even Henry considered himself ready for.

"Yara, what is this?" he repeated, hoping to get through to her. To get some kind of information, because this was freaking him the fuck out.

Silence.

"I'm not mad at you."

Yara looked back at Ollie, sort of slowing her pace to a stop. She looked at Ollie— he looked nervous. Scared. Her brows furrowed, and she took his hand, squeezing it. It was dark, the light of a single street lamp that flickered in and out illuminating Ollie's view of her. He could have sworn he'd seen her blush, but the light wasn't steady enough to make it out.

"I'm not mad at you at all."

"Are we in danger?"

"No!"

Yara laughed a bit, like the idea was absurd. It forced Ollie to give a half-hearted chuckle too, just to try to match the energy. His hands were cold as he held hers tighter— warm and soft and safe. Even if he didn't understand a thing right now.

"Why would you think that?" she asked, still laughing a tiny bit.

"I don't know- I don't- I mean-- look at this!"

Ollie let go of one of Yara's hands to gesture around them. To the abandoned buildings, broken windows and a desolate environment. Hollow. His voice sounded a bit annoyed, somewhere between frustrated and concerned.

"You- I was sleeping and you just broke into my place, told me to pack all my stuff into your backpack, and told me to come with you! And the stupider thing is that I did! And now you won't even tell me where we are, or what we're going to do, and you've taken me to this place--"

"Orion," Yara began, as if she was trying to soothe Ollie. Or shut him up. One of the two.

"It's fine. You're not in trouble or anything, but-"

"Are you in trouble? Yara, we can leave."

Ollie scoffed a bit, taking Yara's hand again.

"Do you think we're trapped here or something? We can leave Dystopia if you want. We can go wherever if you're in trouble!-"

"Why would I want to leave Dystopia?" she asked incredulously, and Ollie stopped. Gh. Why wouldn't you want to leave Dystopia?

"I'm not in trouble, and neither are you. We're fine. In fact, we're more than fine."

"If we're more than fine, why did you pull me out of my room at three in the morning?"

"Will you just walk with me?"

Ollie paused for a second, thinking it over. He could just leave right now. He could just walk away and go back home. He didn't _have_ to walk with her. But she had his most prized possessions on her back, and she looked so... off. Ollie almost didn't want to leave her alone. The curiosity to know what was going on was stronger than his drive to be left alone and go to sleep.

He let her hands go and began walking.

The silence was almost threatening, and Ollie got an incredibly bad feeling about this. He felt like right now was the right moment, maybe last moment, to turn back and go home. Like a notion that he was about to walk right into something horrible. Just then, before Ollie could really think any deeper about it, Yara spoke.

"Mallory and I have been thinking about you," she began. Ollie felt a bit grossed out— he'd never felt good about Mallory. Besides the fact he was a literal cult leader, he just had a bad air to him. Ollie tensed for a second. Had they found out about the mission?

"and we think you've been... great, really."

Ollie let out a sigh of relief.

"I mean, helping Alex out with orders and stuff. Helping Mel with the kids. Advocating for the truth at the meets Mallory does. You're really an exemplary child of Osiris. You have balls— new club members aren't really all for that, and you are."

"Thanks," Ollie responded, giving a bit of a smile. It wavered as a gust of wind brushed his skin— he wasn't really wearing anything adequate for the weather. An old shirt and gym shorts from his freshman year in highschool that he surprisingly never grew out. Maybe if he'd been given some sort of warning in advance, he'd be dressed for the occasion.

A murder of crows flew by them as Yara started speaking again— Ollie counted seven.

"We wanted to... give you a formal welcome into the Harbingers," she started up again, making Ollie raise a brow. They turned another corner, into some kind of warehouse. It didn't have doors, and felt more like a parking lot than a warehouse now that Ollie paid a bit more attention to it. His mind was racing; what does that mean, what the fuck does that mean?

"You've done well with your initiation. Passed with flying colors, even. This is just a sort of final thing, yknow? Just to make sure you're with us."

"Do you doubt it?" Ollie asked back quickly. Seriously, what is this place?

"No, not at all! I'd never doubt your loyalty. None of us would. If we did, why would I bring you here?"

She smiled as she led Ollie across the abandoned parking lot, into a sort of sector that looked like it could be a store. A mall, it hits Ollie. This used to be a mall. Eugh, he does not like the sound of that. Malls are big, with a lot of rooms to hide things in. They're echoey, sure, but who goes to an abandoned mall? Who'd look for anything in an abandoned mall in a place as big and as technologically ahead as Dystopia?

If he went missing right now, who'd look for him here?

Was Henry even checking the tracker?

Ollie kept his quiet as he was led into a smaller area— it looked like it could be the lounge area before a bathroom. Or a changing room, or a lounge room. It was way too dark to tell. The room was barely lit, the only thing being a muffled light in the corner that wasn't strong enough to really help anything, and he could barely see Yara. She had taken his hand to guide him, and right now, Ollie was holding it tight enough to break it.

"You don't have to be afraid," someone spoke in front of him. Too close to him. Ollie yelped, taking a frightened step back and dragging Yara with him.

The sound of a match lighting could be heard, the fire sparking and illuminating the room a tiny bit. Whoever held the match was the person that had spoken, holding the fire to the candle he held in another hand.

Mallory.

Ollie could vomit.

He and Yara were laughing a tiny bit at Ollie's reaction, shaking his head.

"We're so sorry for scaring you, Orion," he began, passing the candle to someone Ollie could recognize as Alex. He took the candle around the room, lighting each one that was on the wall— held by a candle holder. Ollie furrowed his brows a bit as he watched it.

"We did not mean for it to be so dark in here, but the draft from outside kept coming in and putting the candles out— we kept the door open for Yara and you, but now that you're both here, we can keep the light on."

"... why not use lightbulbs?" Ollie deadpanned, as if the question was obvious. Mallory blinked, and spoke with a tone of genuine confusion.

"Excuse you?"

"Lightbulbs," he repeated. "Aren't lightbulbs a lot easier to use? Especially cause it's windy?"

"Candles are more natural. They come from the ground's natural materials, hydrocarbons that give more of an earthy feel--"

"They look a lot cooler than a lightbulb," Yara cut Mallory off, looking at Ollie. Mallory nodded.

"... yeah, they look a lot cooler than a lightbulb."

Ollie just sort of stared between them. That was so stupid.

"So, what is this?" he asked, looking around the room. Definitely an old lounge room. There were a good two or three other members of the Harbingers standing behind Mallory, in the back corners of the room. There was some sort of barrel next to one of them, with something inside of it, and in the middle of the room was a chair. With... straps? Rope?

Ollie shuddered.

"Well, Yara has told you about this being the final step to your initiation, no?" Mallory asked, and Ollie nodded. He swallowed, and it felt like swallowing a rock.

"She wasn't wrong— do you, by any chance, know what the final step might be?"

He hated how Mallory spoke to him like he was in kindergarten. He hated the way he looked, that stupid cloak. He wanted to beat up everyone in this room and go back home. He didn't know what stopped him. Maybe it was Henry's voice in the back of his head telling him he'd jeopardize the mission. Maybe it was Charlotte's, telling him it'd be better to just see it out for everything it was. He couldn't really hear his own voice between the fear and everyone in his head telling him what to do.

Maybe that was the most important part.

"I- don't?" Ollie responds meekly. "But it looks kind of scary, if it has to be done here-"

"It's not scary," Mallory reassured, putting a hand on Ollie's back. Ollie pulled away from it, but Mallory was persistent on keeping him close. Walking him over to the chair. "It's a way to connect you to Osiris, to unite Its followers under one common-"

"What is it?" Ollie insisted through gritted teeth, backing away from Mallory and from all of this. Closer to Yara, and closer to the exit.

Yara put a hand on Ollie's shoulder, making him look back at her.

"Calm down, Orion," she said, and it somehow found a way to make Ollie's shoulders drop a bit— less tense. She had a way of doing that. It made Ollie feel safe. She took her jacket off as she began speaking, tying it around her waist.

"Remember that time when we were on that truck?" she asked. "And you started pointing out all our scars and stuff?"

Of course he did, how could he forget?

A full night. They'd spent a full night in the back of Yara's old truck, 12 miles out from Dystopia in a field to get away from the heavy pollution of the city. They'd set out to see the stars and do the drugs that were left over from the transportation that night. It was early into the mission, a few days after he'd first signed up for it. It was stuff Mallory didn't need, so Yara thought they'd be able to just have fun with it while they stargaze, away from Dystopia and away from the world at large

Ollie remembers it as the first time he's ever used. It was great, but it was also kind of confusing— he didn't even know what it was, but he knew that it felt great. He found out he gets really fucking giggly and clingy when he's high, and he'd laid down in the back of the truck with Yara and started counting her freckles. Counting the scars on her arms and asking for their stories, landing on a weird looking one on her upper right arm.

It was what she showed Ollie once she took off her jacket, and it only settled in now what it actually was.

The Harbingers logo.

"No," Ollie said almost immediately, beating Yara to the punch as she had almost started to explain for herself why she'd brought up the memory. The idea of what they wanted to do to him was starting to settle in. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest— this is absolutely fucking insane. No. They're not- he's not going to let this happen.

"You're not doing that to me."

"Come here, Orion," Mallory cooed, grabbing onto Ollie's hand, to which he quickly jerked away.

"No! I'm not letting you brand me!"

"It's not just a branding," Yara said, moving towards the door as she looked into Ollie's eyes. Blocking his only way out.

"It's a way to connect to the God above. To show your unity and faith."

"I- I am faithful!" Ollie began, stumbling over his words as Mallory stepped towards him. He sounded a bit desperate, as if pleading with the people around him. The silence was deafening, and he felt like a cornered dog.

"I'm faithful! You said you didn't doubt that!"

"Then why won't you let us do this?" Mallory asked, getting more insistent. A bit closer to Ollie, too, like an animal trainer. Or a capturer.

"Because I don't want to be branded, dude- who-- who wants to be branded?!"

"Orion, just-" Yara began, but she was cut off.

"I'm not letting you guys do this. I'll do- I'll go to the masses, I'll wear the cloaks, I'll do whatever you want, but not--"

"You're condemning yourself."

"No, I'm not!"

Ollie began to try to start for the door, push Yara out of the way and run, but he felt someone grab him from behind. Yanking on the back of his shirt, pulling him in and grabbing his torso, raising him up and off the floor. Ollie turned his head, turned to see who's face he'd be pounding in.

Alex.

"Fuck, dude, don't- no! I don't want this, let me go!"

Ollie felt so fucking stupid for not being able to get out of his grasp. He thrashed, kicking his legs and clawing at Alex's arms, biting his hands trying to make him let go, but he didn't budge. Had he paid more attention to Henry when he teaches stuff, or been a better fighter, or gone on more missions, or anything, he might've been able to get out of this. He knew Sovi would. He knew Henry would. Fuck, even Piper would probably do better than this pathetic squirming thing Ollie was doing. He was too focused on surviving to think about practical ways to do it, and as he began yelling at his once-friend for restraining him like this, Mallory began speaking.

"Calm down," he began, and Ollie wanted to spit on him.

"You really shouldn't be put off by your initiation! This is all just a part of the process, and I promise you that everyone you love here has done it. Myself included!"

"I don't love you," Ollie spat as he was pushed down into the chair, the other Harbingers in the room coming from behind to tie him down. Yara gave a surprised look at the comment. Ollie didn't notice it, too focused on trying to get these people off of him.

"That is truly a shame," Mallory said, coming closer to Ollie and kneeling himself down in front of him.

"because I love you. And I love Yara, and I love Alex, and I love all our members. You're all equal and so, so important to me. This is why I'm doing this, do you not understand?"

Mallory put his hands on Ollie's balled fist, almost holding it. The worst part was that the hold felt loving. Like he was truly trying to comfort him, even through the disgust and rage Ollie was feeling. It was a gentle hold that felt fueled with nothing but care, even if this man meant nothing close to it. This man was nothing close to it.

He wanted to cry.

"I'm doing this because I love you. Because I truly want you to survive through The Final Abolishment. You will be recognized as a child of Osiris, and it will be... wonderful. It will feel like waking up for the first time."

He breathed it out like he truly believed it. Ollie hated himself for ever following Yara right about now. Mallory rubbed a thumb against his hand as tears pricked Ollie's eyes, and Ollie took a deep breath to compose himself. His jaw was clenched, hackles raised— he was furious and emotional and yet, Mallory soothed him like he was soothing a child. Ollie felt like anything but right now— he felt too grown for his own good, and he wanted to go home. And as stupid as it might sound, he wanted to sink into Sovilo's arms and cry, because this whole mission was just more than he ever knew he could take on.

Maybe that's why Mallory was treating him that way.

"Don't cry. People feel like this when they first sit here, too, did you know? I felt like you, too, when it was my first time branding myself. Because I was unsure. Because I wasn't fully devoted. I promise you that this is it, Orion, this is the turning point. You will never feel more connected to Osiris than now, okay? Do you trust me?"

'Not even with the time,' Ollie wanted to snap, but felt the last rope tighten around his leg and knew he was at this dude's full disposal. He didn't have any powers like Sovi or Henry— he couldn't use brute force to get out of the chair, he couldn't 'forcefield' these dudes away from him. He wasn't indestructible. It was just him and his words and his wits and that was it— and he wasn't even that smart! He just thought this would be a drug op! This wasn't the mission he signed up for!

Henry had promised him it wouldn't ever get physical against Ollie, not until he was ending the mission entirely. This didn't feel like the end at all, and it felt so far from the beginning. He couldn't out himself now, because that meant so much worse for everyone else he loved. If they branded the people they loved in this cult, what would they do to the people that betrayed them?

"... I trust you," Ollie breathed out, heart pounding in his ears. He could faint. Mallory, however, was satisfied with the answer and stood up.

"Then let us do this."

The moments between Mallory getting up and the branding iron being pushed against his upper arm were a blur. He could hear Yara sort of come closer to him, feel her grab onto his hand tight as if to help ground him. He didn't know what he was supposed to do about this— he was literally about to be fucking branded. And he didn't want anything to do with it.

He could hear the barrel open, could hear hot coals shift around in it as Mallory used a glove to grab the branding iron. The stick wasn't as hot as the logo itself that was attached onto the end of it; the glove looked more like a precautionary measure more that anything. And as Mallory approached with it, Ollie could see it. Red hot. Smoking.

Ollie could hear himself plead with Mallory for a second. "Please, don't do this, you don't have to do this, I'm a true follower, I swear!" he could hear himself beg from a second entity, from a glass wall outside of himself and far, far from here.

None of it worked—how could it have?—because the iron was pressed against his arm anyway.

To say it hurt was an understatement. It was only a good four seconds the iron had made contact with Ollie's skin, but it felt like a lifetime. He yelped at the first contact— the first contact was the worst part, making a pop sound as he yelled and brought tears to his eyes— and when he gripped Yara's hand with a death grip, flinching around a bit at it, the pain went away. Frying the nerve endings in that part of his arm, he knew and heard. Like the sound of something sizzling on a pan. That's what happens when you get burned like that.

The smell was the worst part. Ollie would never forget the smell of his burning flesh. It was one of those things that would be forever seared into his mind, irreparable.

It was so bad it was almost a taste. He could never find anything to compare it with. Like a smell of blood, or rotting meat, or burnt hair, or burning plastic— all mixed together, all trying to form some horrid fucking scent he'd never forget again in his life. Ollie was sure that the fear and heightened fight-or-flight was what made it hurt so much more than it actually did, because after those few seconds, it was over. Ollie was left with erratic breathing and tears streaming down his cheeks, making this whimpering sort of cry as he did. His lip quivered, and Yara was there soothing him, holding his hand and whispering to him.

Ollie didn't look down at it. He shut his eyes tight, he didn't want to process or accept at all what had just been done to him. He could feel Mallory apply something to the new wound as it secreted a gross plasma, putting on some kind of salve or something, and wrap it in cling wrap. And that was it.

It didn't feel like enough. Everything that had been done for the experience Ollie had just gone through felt so... little. Everything was still living, and breathing, and moving, and Ollie hadn't even processed any of it yet.

Why did everything get to keep going right now?

"You did so good," Mallory praised as he watched Ollie cry— out of pain, but also mostly frustration. He hated how he let this happen to himself. This was horrible, this was inhumane. He just wanted to go see Jasper right now, or Henry. He'd say Sovi, but he knew it wasn't an option. He wanted to melt into their arms, spill everything and make them accept the fact he couldn't do this anymore. That he just needed to go home.

How disappointed would the people he loved be if they saw Ollie like this?

Saw Ollie letting it happen?

"Yara, untie him," Mallory muttered as he kneeled in front of Ollie the same way he had earlier. Stop it, he wanted to seeth. Yell, scream. Stop doing that, stop trying to help me. Look at me, look at me truly, what have you done to me? What have you done?

"I am so proud of you, Orion," Mallory soothed, cupping Ollie's face in his hands and wiping a tear away with his thumb. Ollie wanted to spit in his face.

"You don't see it now, but you are a true child of Osiris."

Like fuck I am.

"You don't see it, but so many would kill to be in the position you are in right now. To be so connected and interlinked with those above. You have been reborn into a new person, a Next Life awaits you. And I promise you, it's worth it. You're a true believer— it will all be worth it for you.

Ollie nodded, sniffling a bit and trying to overcome to overwhelming urge to bitchslap this man now that his hands were free. He did take the opportunity to move Mallory's hands down from his face—fuck, it hurt to move that arm—and hold them, squeezing them tight and feigning affection.

"Thank you," he whispered through the tears, and Mallory smiled. A look Ollie wished he could get rid of so bad— a look that told Ollie he had no remorse. That this wasn't even remotely bad to him. This was just a step to Ollie's better connection with his newfound God and if it were by Ollie, he'd send himself to eternal damnation by now.

Even when everything was so spinning and confusing, he knew one thing for certain; this was fucking revolting.

It was all he could think about as Yara untied him and got him out of the lounge room. It felt like leaving as a different person. Even if everything Mallory had said was wrong, he was right about one thing; he had been reborn in that room tonight. A new person, but not in the way he would have ever wanted.

The walk with Yara was horrid. She'd lent him her jacket—a sage green zip-up with a rhinestone cross outlined on the chest—and under any other circumstances, Ollie might have appreciated it. Now, it just made him feel alone.

As they walked, Yara didn't really dare to say anything. She'd just seen her new friend in one of his most vulnerable moments since she's known him— fuck, one of the most vulnerable moments of his entire life. How was she even supposed to soothe him? Even if it was for the greater good, even if it was for the better, what was she meant to say to him? What was supposed to be said to aid him through it all?

"You turned the wrong corner," Ollie mumbled after a long bout of silence, making Yara turn to look at him. He hoped he didn't have to repeat it.

"Huh?"

"The corner," he repeated, not looking up at her. The taste of his flesh still sat foul in his mouth. Even if he certainly hadn't eaten any of that bullshit, it had been so strong that the oxygen intake only reminded him worse of how the smell lingered on his tongue. Reminiscent of what bit he'd let himself lose for this mission.

He stopped for a second, as if waiting for Yara to turn back with him. Yara stopped with him.

"You're supposed to turn right."

...?

What?

Oh!

Yara smiled a bit as she came to the realization of what Ollie was trying to say, giving a huff of laughter. Ollie gave a confused expression.

"We're not going to your place," she said, still with that look on her face. "We're going to mine."

"But- my place-- I mean, Henry-"

"I can explain to him where you've been."

*Huh?*

Ollie's brows furrowed a bit more now, genuinely conflicted. Almost angry. He wanted to be home— he needed to be home right now. That was the only safe place right now. His things, his family, his kid—

"You're just gonna... explain?"

"Yeah."

"You're going to explain to them how you let Mallory brand me while you watched," he deadpanned. "You think they're gonna be fucking fine with that?"

"Calm down.-"

"You don't get to tell me to calm down right now- you just let them fucking brand me!" Ollie exclaimed, tears stinging his eyes as he gestured somewhere further behind them, referencing the mall.

"And you stood there and watched, and it happened because I trusted you! I came with you because you said I'd be safe! You said I'd be safe with you, and now I'm really starting to doubt th—"

"Orion!"

Ollie paused at being cut off like that, fists curling. Yara stared at Ollie for a second, looking completely mad yet also... concerned for him. Like Ollie was saying something so wrong it was crazy, and that's exactly what she thought. It made him feel stupid, almost.

"Do you think they're going to be the ones to keep you safe after this?" She snapped, gesturing to the right— to Ollie's home.

"Do you think they're going to accept you now? Accept us?"

"Why wouldn't they?"

"Because the outsiders don't understand like we do! They don't fucking get it! They don't get you, and they don't get me, or Mallory, or anyone. Because people think we're crazy and honestly, I don't want to go back to that. I don't think I can go back to that!"

"You don't know them like I do," Ollie spat. "You don't know my family like I do."

"I used to think that too. I used to think that all I ever wanted was to keep my family safe in this godforsaken city. And I found Mallory, and I knew this was it. This was my key to helping them with anything they might need, because I knew them, right? I knew them better than anyone else! And then they fucking kicked me out for this. Called me crazy. Said there wasn't such thing as a Final Abolishment, that I was just gonna drag them under."

Yara took a breath. If Ollie had known better, he'd tell her that her parents were right.

"You don't- people don't like us out there, okay? People aren't like us. If they see that on your arm, if they see who you really are, they're going to ostracize you. And living on the streets in this city is bad, Orion. I'm saving you. I'm keeping you safe. That's why I asked you to pack your shit— trust me, they don't want you back."

Ollie paused. He contemplated the whole monologue— it's what Henry would do. It's what Henry would have wanted of him. To keep the mission alive, he could practically hear in the back of his head. Whatever it takes to keep this mission alive.

He nodded.

"What about Charlie?" he asked, and Yara gave a confused look.

"Who?"

"Charlie. My kid."

A silence.

"You have a-"

"I adopted her?"

More silence.

"Yara, my- she went to the Community Center? It's why I started going? Because she did??"

"Ooohh! Oh, I'll take care of it, don't worry."

Ollie's brows furrowed a bit, and he took a step forward.

"You're not going to just 'take care of it,'" he began, making Yara sort of look at him.

"You're going to bring her to me. If I'm really going to stay with you and not look back, if I'm really going to trust you in my Next Life, you're going to bring me my fucking kid."

"Okay. Okay, I'll bring you Charlie. But you have to come with me. Deal?"

He contemplated it. Something in the back of his head told him this wasn't the right choice. This was the worst possible option, this was walking into a series of traps upon traps— he had to call Sovi. Right now, the move was to call Sovilo and go home. There was a way out of this, and the way out was right now.

Still, Ollie shook Yara's hand.

"Deal."

It might have been the worst decision he's made in his entire life.

[blubberquark]

New Year's Resolutions

Hey everybody. It's a new year. Happy New Year!

Gamedev Blogging

Last year I have fallen behind on posting gamedev stuff. It's mostly because there is no good way to format code listings in the new editor. So this year, I am not even going to try eith gamedev tutorials on tumblr. I might post them elsewhere and just link them. I have already taken a look at Cohost, but It doesn't have the features I need. Wouldn't it be cook if you could post pico-8 carts on cohost? Or source code listings? Or LaTeX? I might as well write the HTML by hand and host it somewhere. But that won't be the focus of this blog in 2024.

Instead I'm going to do more tumblr posting about game design, just less on the code side. It will be more on the screenshot side. First thing will be about my 2023 Game Of The Year. It will probably surprise you. I did not expect it to be this good. You can also expect something about some of my old prototypes. Over the years I have started and abandoned game prototypes after either concluding that the idea won't work and can't be made to work, or after learning what I needed to learn. What did I learn? Wait and find out!

Computer Litaracy

I'll also attempt to write more about general computing and "computer literacy" topics. I have two particular "series" or "categories" in mind already. Almost Good: Technologies that sound great when you hear abut them, but that don't work as well as you might think when you try them out. Harmful Assumptions About Computing: Non-technical people often have surprising ideas about how computers work. As a technically inclined person, you don't even realise how far these unspoken assumptions about computers can reach.

Usability of computers and software seems to have gotten worse rather than better in many aspects, while computers have become entrenched in every workplace, our private lives, and in our interactions with corporations and government services. Computer literacy has also become worse in certain ways, and I think I know some reasons why.

There will also be some posts about forum moderation and community management. It's rather basic and common-sense stuff, but I want to spell it out.

Actual Game Development

I am going to release a puzzle game in 2024. You will be able to buy it for money. You can hold me to it. This is my biggest New Year's Resolution.

I will continue to work on two games of mine. One will be the game I just mentioned. The other is Wyst. I put the project on ice because I was running out of inspiration for a while, but I think I am sufficiently inspired now. I will pick it up again and add two more worlds to the game, and get it into a "complete" state. I'll also have to do a whole lot of playtesting. This may be the last time I touch Unity3d.

I will try out two new engines and write one or two proof-of-concept games in each of them, maybe something really simple like "Flappy Bird", and one game jam "warm-up" thing, with the scope of a Ludum Dare compo game. Maybe that means I'll write Tetris or Pong multiple times. I probably won't put the "Pong in Godot" on itch.io page next to a "Pong in Raylib" and "Pong in Bevy", but I'll just put the code on my GitHub. The goal is to have more options for a game jam, so I can decide to use Godot if it is a better fit for the jam topic.

In the past, I have always reached for PyGame by default, because Python is the language that has flask and Django and sqlalchemy and numpy and pyTorch, and because I mostly want to make games in 2D. I want to get out of my comfort zone. In addition to the general-purpose game engines, I will try to develop something in bitsy, AGS, twine, pico-8 or Ren'Py. I want to force myself to try a different genre this way. Maybe I'll make an archaeologist dating simulator.

All in all, this means I will so significant work on two existing projects, revisit some old failed prototypes to do a postmortem, I'll write at least six new prototypes, and two new jam games, plus some genre/narrative experiments. That's a lot already. So here's an anti-resolution: I won't even try to develop any of my new prototypes into full releases. I will only work on existing projects from 2023 or before if I develop anything into playable demo versions or full games. I won't get sidetracked by the next Ludum Dare game, I promise. After the jam is over, I'll put down the project, at least until 2025.

[stormblessed95]

Hey Stormy! Random question incoming: I have always wondered about the back end of Tumblr since I don’t post or accept asks. 1.)When you block an anon, are you blocking their account, their device or their IP address? If it’s the IP address you’re blocking then wouldn’t they be able to just change locations (like leave their home) and be able to see your posts again? 2.)Do you have stats like Twitter where you can see the impressions of your posts? 3.)Do you get more options unlocked when you reach a certain number of followers kinda like instagram influencer accounts? 4.)How are some seemingly big accounts limited to a certain number of images per post while for others it seems like they can post unlimited images/videos on one post? 5.)What’s a feature(s) that you would love tumblr to implement to make your experience 10 times better? What’s an existing tumblr feature(s) that you want abolished for better user experience? Just breaking up the recent annoying jkkr anon asks with some random tumblr questions lol.

Hi! 1) Blocking a tumblr regularly means you block their account. Blocking from anon in your inbox means you block their IP address. So yes, in BOTH cases, the person blocked could get around the blocking by going somewhere else. Logging into a different account or see my posts simply by googling me and not logging in at all. Lol but it adds a major level of inconvenience for them to do so and then I can just block again if they send anything else. This is what the anon options look like in my inbox other than just "answer."

2) Nope!

3) also no

4) I think @wingzie or someone tried to explain this to me a while ago. But I got confused. It has something to do with settings somewhere I think? Idk lol tumblr still confuses me sometimes and I work mostly off the mobile app which probably makes it harder lol

5) Let me embed more links, images and videos. Give me more color font options. Formatting things easier would be nice. Give me a better search function and a way to search through my posts to find things easier PLEASE

6) I have no idea! The limits put on posts would be nice going away i guess, similar to my answer for 5. Lol

Thanks for the asks!! ❤️❤️❤️

[unholyverse]

MYSPACE 1.0 THEME REFRESH (originally by conkersradfurday, refreshed by unholyverse)

live previews: 1, 2 / download (pastebin)

hi! i've been using this old theme for years now because other myspace themes don't hit the same, but i've been tweaking a lot of it for personal use. i think it's been long enough since this theme has been abandoned that i can upload something that can handle itself better on modern tumblr.

main features

asks are formatted to look like myspace comments. fun!

four custom links

myspace buttons to follow, message, or block the blog owner

a bunch of info spaces so the world can know what you're about

extra font options

functional search bar (but this is tumblr so...semi functional?)

that web 2.0 ugly goodness

other features + info below the cut

new features

friend space - ever wanna show off your friends? now you can with the friend space to show off your top 8 9 friends on your blog. don't have enough friends? no worries, you can always toggle it off

image space - wanna put a bunch of blinkies somewhere? you'll need to have a bit of html and css knowledge for it, but you can go into the code and add as many images as you'd like. just look for the section and start pasting those images. it's a little tedious but tbh that's just the authentic myspace experience isn't it? but if that's not your thing, you can also toggle it off too.

tweaked/deleted features

had to delete the music player :( sorry but it used flash and i'm not really sure how to make a music player in javascript yet

added username input because it was annoying me that your title could be your name and it didn't make sense in most cases

deleted infinite scroll because the script was super outdated

added the ability to change the "online now!" gif. the original gif will always be in the defaults of the code.

changed the text post header font to verdana because it was impact and you could not fucking read that and it wasn't accurate to a myspace bulletin anyways

deleted the feature that force showed all the pages you made on your blog. so annoying. it will look a little weird if you have asks/submissions deactivated, but i doubt many of you using the theme will have them closed anyways

changed the dead links to redirect to the actual myspace site

extra recommended add-ons

scm music player: a customizable music player with tons of different skins and tons of songs you're able to add

unblue polls by @glenthemes: what it says basically; allows you to customize the colors of tumblr polls on your blog

cursors-4u.com: i love these dinky little cursors they're so fun. great if you really wanna lean into the 2000s aspect of the theme

cursor sparkles: what else is there to say about this they're just fun

notes

i plan on updating the theme semi-regularly if bugs are brought up and stuff (which you can tell me through my inbox)

hopefully i can work on extra tweaks as time goes on (such as figuring out how to add a footer image to videos, toggle tags, etc)

don't repost/claim as your own because it already isn't mine in the first place

like/reblog if you use!

update log

added a tags toggle + tweaked the video post sizes

made the "is in your extended network" status customizable to add different text. feel free to tell the world how many gas station boner pills you took

added an official theme link

[onlyseokmins]

hiii how do you start a blog??? i reallyyyy wanna post my writing but idk how to start.... like formatting a blog making a pinned doing a layout idk what im doing😭 sorry if this is random for me to ask

Hey there! ❤️ Not too random to ask someone who's constantly setting up new blogs for fun and rarely using them 😭 ✋🏼 now take this all w/ a grain of salt but fr feel free to drop by/share your stories w/ me when you post them and come back if you need more help!!

So let me try to hit the points you addressed!

Formatting a blog:

Definitely have a profile picture! This is your "face" on Tumblr ~

Headers are a ton of fun. You can basically do whatever you want with them - hide, stretch, use your profile picture, or create something of your own (I would not suggest taking someone's gif or something they created unless you have permission 🙏) If you want something fancy, feel free to ask someone (but check their guidelines first ofc)

I would suggest enabling a custom theme under your blog settings if you want to format the web browser/desktop version of your blog (https://[url].tumblr.com is different from the "dashboard/mobile" view found on https://tumblr.com/[url]). This can only be done in the web browser/desktop version of blog settings (and can be important for your description later)

^ Confusing, I know! If you have more questions lmk, it's sort of not necessary but it's fun for me to customize 😂

You can find lots of tumblr themes to customize from the tumblr store or if you'd like you can get codes here too.

Making a pinned:

You can make any post a pinned post but only one can be pinned at a time.

Cheat: I have a habit of editing old posts that have 0 notes and/or one of my first posts and using it as I like 💀

Pinned posts can obviously contain whatever you want! Songs, funny quote, or a more detailed intro post - and can be changed any time!

Layout of your blog:

This is where creativity comes in lol! Try not to copy someone else if you can, totally cool if you're inspired but I've def seen a lot of people mimic others and it's just 😔

For example, ig you could say my layout/theme is based off a "streamer" concept lol. Some people keep it simple, some people just do whatever. Good news is you can always change it at your preference!

Honestly it doesn't matter how simple or fancy it is, I think as long as it's easy to navigate, you can do whatever.

Things I suggest to have somewhere on your blog:

Masterlist: a list of links to all your stories

Guidelines: don't be afraid to refer people to these!!

Intro: can be basic but be sure to tell a bit about yourself so ppl can interact with you

^ these can be linked in your description (code example below) and/or a pinned post

Tag navigation: (optional) much better than tumblr's featured tags option imho but if you use a specific tag for certain content/posts, make use of that!

Okay so tumblr is a hellsite but it has a TON of features and things you can do with it if you want. You do need to know some html coding but thankfully it's pretty straightforward and there are a lot of resources out there. I think html is still only editable on web browser/desktop version of tumblr. So you're best bet is to hit the edit theme button below (back to what we talked abt before 😂)

I'm horrible at tutorials btw. And helping people 💀 but fr I love setting up blogs so pls feel free to hmu more! I'm looking forward to another writer in the community! ❤️

[thebibliosphere]

"Why are all your ADHD posts a mile long? It's not helpful and annoying."

Well, friend, don't know how to tell you this, but it's my ADHD.

Also, I'm usually trying to cover a lot of bases so I don't have to reblog the same post multiple times answering the inevitable influx of questions that will follow if I skip over something in the initial post.

I get that a wall of text isn't easy for everyone to read--it isn't always easy for me to read when I'm too tired to rely on my hyper-focus. But the thing is, you don't need to read it all at once. You can save it somewhere and read it in chunks later if you need to. I have a #read later tag, for a reason.

If Tumblr had a better formatting system, I might be able to make it easier to break things down with sectioned readmores so you could pick and choose which parts you want to read more about like ye olde livejournal. But seen as how this website is held together with duct tape and about a quarter of the staff used to keep the Titanic running, I doubt that's going to happen anytime soon.

I could go out of my way to make them into separate posts or create article pages on my website and then link them individually in posts to compensate that way... and maybe I will one day. But again, I have ADHD, and that increases the mental burden on my end to a frankly unreasonable level when someone is asking a question they want answers to sometime this millenia.

I'm not an NT posting 'helpful' advice. I'm someone functioning within the boundaries of my own ADHD and doing what I can to be helpful where I can. And unfortunately, I'm limited by the platform we're using in terms of how I'm able to present that information while also being as thorough as I can.

If you do struggle to read large chunks, might I also suggest browser extension tools like Beeline Reader? It doesn't work on every website (frustratingly) but it changes the font colors into an alternating gradient, which can make reading more accessible to certain types of disabilities. You could also try using the screen reading function available on your smartphone device, usually under accessibility features. You don't need to be visually impaired to use it, I use mine all the time when my ADHD refuses to let me read something, but will happily let me listen to something.

Anyway. Sorry for yet another long post. But that's how my brain works, and I can't change it. Trust me, I spent a lifetime prior to diagnosis trying.

[katzkinder]

Day 8: Melancholy/THANK YOU!

I ended up joining Servamp fandom here on tumblr about... Four years ago now? In 2018, right after moving to a different state and leaving everything I knew behind. I found the anime by complete chance while browsing the Josei tag, and now... Here I am!!

I don’t know where I would be right now without this fandom, I really, truly, don’t. I’ve met so many wonderful, kind, amazing people through this series, rediscovered my love of creation, and made tons of friends!

To everyone who’s been with me on this journey... THANK YOU!

First up, @hello-vampire-kitty thank you for your hard work translating the chapters! I really appreciate the translation notes you add, and how clearly important it is to you to treat this series with the love the English localization won’t /hj

@xchibikai thank you for providing the RAWs! You’ve been doing it for so long, and without you and Kitty, we’d all be totally lost! Not to mention your Tsukimitsu sib art always makes me feel so warm and fuzzy; it’s so cute!

@servamp-announcements Even though you just started, I’m already so grateful! The formatting on posts is really easy to read, and the blog theme is also very easy to navigate! I especially appreciate that you provide sources and links back to the original announcements 🥰

@ryotakun-translations it looks like I can’t tag you, but I still wanted to give my thanks! Commissioning translations from you is always so easy and pleasant, and I know I’m getting quality work when I do.

@kalu-chan Thank you for uploading the interactions from Final Servamp Quest, and the translation for both the White Day routes and Gear of Night Trick! Your doc was super easy to navigate, and it must have taken a long time.

@rubyleaf We haven’t really ever talked before, but I still wanted to take a moment to say thanks!! Your fanfic Guilty Pleasure Friends is AMAZING, and I really admire the dedication it takes to keep updating something like that for so long. I love reading it during long car rides, and the cafe scene to this day brings me so much joy

@crazyanime3 I’ve been taking excellent care of the boys you sent me... Was it already two years ago?? Thank you for helping me start my collection way back when! I still have the little message and doodle you sent along with the buttons, saved somewhere safe

@snowlilys-wife @cottoncanada @shinychxndelure Thank you for being so supportive and accepting! I love talking with you all and hashing out scenarios and headcanons is always really fun! Also, y’all are funny af

@mahi-does-some-art @pomfry @hisakata-resutomoshibi @yarrayora @haru-jje @unwelcomedfox  @revoleotion @xthunderbolt @madburnishes @tipzycat y’all some talented and also incredibly sweet motherfuckers, holy shit. I’m so, so glad I met all of you.

@joydoesathing your genderbend designs are always so creative and I love so, so many of them! I think my favorites are Gil and Hugh. I also love your Virtues au a lot, too! Your eye for character design is incredible, and then you do all that in pen on top of it? Amazing!!

@chayam-chi Your art is so cute! You’re such a sweet person, and so funny, too! I always look forward to seeing you on my dash, and I look forward to seeing where you go from here!!

@danozi1 Your sense of humor and the creepy cuteness of your works always scratch a very specific itch for me, and also you have Good Taste

@mystivio @meiwaku-san Your panel colorings are so good and always leave me floored. Like, coloring goals, full on.

@random-husky I’ve super duper enjoyed everything you’ve posted this week, from your ideas to your compositions, you’re so creative!!

@kiwitheweebartist you’re getting better and better every day! Your little commentary posts and random thoughts are all very cute and it makes me smile whenever I read one.

@kchk-55 @d01110010rr You’re so young, but already so talented?? I’m amazed! I hope good things find you both going forward, and that school and life in general is easy on you. If anyone is mean to y’all, I’ll beat them up!!

@jutsuzuban MIKEY. YOU. I love you!!

@niccodoesart Sushi! I love the way you color; you’re so good with markers! The way you draw feet is so cute ❤

@faith-gigliorosa Your edits are so cool, holy shit. I always look forward to them! Ballad of the mona lisa is still one of my favorites.

@blackrose4242564 @theartcat2 @maria-the-mage @wingedpaperpeachpurse @radioactivesweet @fgfhfhfhf @ourelenabespalovafan @ezuja-deatro @ninjagirl142 @pause143 I see you guys in my notes for practically everything I post and thank you so much for your support!!!

@bluemoonfantasiesiii there’s a lot of things I could say to you and about you. There’s a lot of things I want to express. There’s a lot of moments and talks that I hold dear to my heart, but I think the best way to sum up my feelings towards you, is this... ......... >:3c

... That was a lot of people, huh. |D Sorry if I annoyed anyone with this, but I just... Wanted to express my sincere gratitude to each and every one of you. I’m a better, happier person for each person I’ve met here, and I’ve never quite had this kind of experience within a fandom before. I’m glad Servamp was the first time I held my hand out within an online community to quite this degree, and thank you to every single person who reached back.

A very merry, very belated, HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY to you all!

[funnuraba]

Quick guide to SAVING LIVEJOURNAL/OTHER FAN CONTENT with THE WAYBACK MACHINE:

(quick note: Tumblr content is honestly much more at risk, so if you have the stomach to try finding things on Tumblr, you can also use this method on that and do some good work)

Uhhh this got long, so look for the bolded parts if you’re not here for a long read lol.

Okay so, at some point, LJ is going under. Or at least all the gay stuff they can find on there. More to the point, PHOTOBUCKET, TINYPIC, IMAGESHACK.... all of those have left huge scars in the records of LJ fandom. So I’ve been using the fact that the Wayback Machine lets you save outlinks if you sign up with the Internet Archive! (Free!)

There’s a Save Page Now function! Good places to use it on include:

Rec lists

People’s masterlists of their own fics/art/meta

Somebody’s well-organized LJ Memories (the page you save needs to contain direct links to the posts you want to save, so if there are sublevels in the Memories you need to go as deep as possible)

community profiles

Every page of a community, if you really feel like it--I’ve been doing this with some small comms, but it’s.... less than feasible with big communities.

Check the “Save Outlinks” button, and the WB will also save links from the page you enter! You can get a lot of stuff at once. Unfortunately there’s a limit on the number of links it’ll grab, but it’s better than nothing. You’ll also see a lot of ERROR!s and it’s annoying. When it’s a Job Failed you can try the page again later.

I don’t know yet how it picks the outlinks to save, so maybe it’s random and you could eventually get all of them by Saving repeatedly??? I’m pretty sure it tries to start at the top, though, because communities with a huge list of tags in their layout are probably not worth your time: I’ve been trying to get stuff from the KKM Fanfic Challenge comm, but.... well, look at it. Trying to save any page with outlinks just picks up a whooooole bunch of those tags on the sidebar, and barely any actual posts. No matter what kind of URL you put in, that sidebar’s always there. You’d have to save each post individually to get every fic. Hope LJ’s not going anywhere fast!

Community profiles are among the most important, because that gives us a lot of info like how many members are left (after years of bleeding users) and how many comments and posts there were in the community! Unfortunately this method is REALLY BAD for art and icons--lots of them are just gone with tinypic and people’s personal LJ albums. Also the WB isn’t good with images in general and there’s no real alternative. But the profiles of icon communities, plus fanfics, meta, stuff like that: a lot of it left to be grabbed! Big main community profiles are best, because they often listed other smaller communities for the same fandom. Saving the big profile with Outlinks will pick up the profile links of all those smaller communities!

Sometimes the big community profiles will just make you sad. Try to soldier on. (If you’re really committing to this, don’t forget that smaller comms will also have even smaller comms listed as affiliates that never made it into the Big Fandom Community’s profile. You can come back later and Save their profiles directly. Sometimes they also have links to fanlistings and other rare things that are also useful to have saved!)

If you can think of a small community, you can also use the method of saving every page, which takes some work and time: you have to save the skip=10 URL, and after that skip=30, skip=50, etc. Then come back later and do skip=20, skip=40, skip=60, etc. The reason for this is that the Wayback Machine will only save one single URL every 30 minutes. So if you’re saving outlinks from skip=30, you’ll also get an incomplete snapshot of skip=20 and skip=40, minus all the important links on skip=20 and skip=40. Obviously, this isn’t much fun and works only with small comms. But it does save a lot of text.

Here’s the type of stuff you’ll get:

a saved PROFILE url: This is good! It saves info about how active a user or community was. In this case it was a user, but the profile is info they chose to put front and center, and the WB isn’t gonna crawl any deeper and grab personal posts from 2004 or anything. (You’ll get a lot of user profiles that aren’t really necessary when using this method.)

a modified POST url: Also good, but you’re gonna get a ton of duplicates on these due to how many different ways LJ would link to a single post. The style=mine doesn’t alter the content. You’ll also see lots of “#cutid1″, which of course is the link left by an LJ-cut. That’s fine, it gets the post. The content of posts 82379 is safe! (but NOT all the nested comments!)

a comment link (in this case dreamwidth which isn’t in danger, but the same format): This saved both the post itself (79392) and a comment thread (131360). You probably can’t get every comment thread just because the WB is bad at unfolding LJ threads, but this does contain the post itself. If you don’t see the plain post URL itself in the list of saved URLS once WB is done saving outlinks, but you do see a comment link: that comment link also has the original post! You don’t need to keep trying!

a journal’s tag link: This is less useful. It saves a snapshot of the tag page itself, but nothing deeper. Any content under an LJ cut or in the comments is not saved. There’s no way to keep these from saving, though. Just keep in mind, that tag in the picture doesn’t mean that the fics this person linked to have been saved. You’ll have to enter the tag link URL itself into the Wayback Machine’s SAVE page for that.

ERROR! JOB FAILED.: These are annoying! Most likely nothing was saved. Unless a comment link was successfully saved, you’ll have to copy-paste the URL that failed and put it into the SAVE page.

LIVE PAGE IS NOT AVAILABLE: There’s nothing you can do unless this URL was already saved somewhere.

BUT WHAT ABOUT IMAGES????

The passage of time means it’s probably too late. Imageshack and Tinypic took out a huge chunk of images on LJ, and PhotoBucket tried to make people pay them by putting big ol’ watermarks on all pictures except those hosted by premium users. It didn’t work and they said sorry, but the watermarks are still there. Lol. If you right-click +Open image in new tab, the watermark goes away, but who wants to do that with every single image? Also, the Wayback Machine sucks with big images and there’s no alternative at the moment.

If you’re lucky enough to find some holy grail like a big post of 1000 icons hosted on someone’s premium Photobucket, you could save a snapshot of the page. Wayback Machine lets you check that as an option, but IF YOU SAVE A SNAPSHOT WITH A TOOL LIKE “GoFullPage”: I find that GoFullPage, at least, will save you a big long image with no Photobucket watermarks! But you’ll have to save that image yourself, or store it somewhere, so keep that in mind.

Also, the snapshot means no animated gifs--although if you want to save those, they’ll be tiny little LJ icon gifs, so pretty easy to store on your own computer.

[inkdemon-whore]

✦—uwu new pinned—✦

【archives: C.O.R.E. | 2016-'18 | 2018-'20】

tumblr b-day: february 20th, 2016 January 14th, 2016

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al/alta/alex | 23 | he/him | aspec

fandom hopper | proship | atheistic satanist

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╔═⋆promo section⋆═╗

i’m usin the old post format, so this isn’t really working, but here’s my tgftos fanfic “mo chroí” on ao3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39564708?view_full_work=true

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doin commissions, click here for the post!

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you can also just throw money at me for a cosplay i’m working on. any money i get will be payed as a group/pitch in commission. you can pay $1, $5, $50, whatever you want, so long as the $100 goal is met. when the goal is met, i’ll draw a commission level piece as a thank you to everyone that donated! this goal is set for mid september, and if it isn’t met, i’ll just draw a smaller, less impressive thank you to those who donated

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i'm multi fandom and kinda hyper fixate on one or more for a period of time. here's some fandoms i'm in/i've drawn stuff for:

pokemon ✒

undertale/deltarune ✒

BATIM ✒

steven universe ✒

dream smp ✒

hermitcraft

fnaf ✒

fnf ✒

ddlc

OFF by mortil ghost

yume niki

centaurworld ✒

encanto ✒

the girl from the other side ✒

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AUs/tags ya'll can have cuz i probably won't draw more content for them: player!spamton/darkener!kris (aka tag au), sitting ducks DSMP au/🐷🤝🦆

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blog contains casual swearing, artistic and/or suggested nudity, and maybe sexual jokes. my best assumption of my audience age range is 15 to 30-ish. blog also has some pro-ship stuff. i don't tag swearing or capslock.

here's a blacklist for your filtering needs (it's in account settings [zendesk help], or use tumblr savior [chrome / firefox] or xkit [chrome / firefox]):

★ ya should | ✦ ya could | 〇 if ya wanna

★ NSFW - for text and sometimes added with the tw nudity tag

★ nude - can also include censored/suggested nudity

★ tw ship - for explicitly shippy stuff like brumira or techno and quackity smoochin

✦ ship suggestive - for joke ships, or up in the air shippy vibes. it depends on context and your own view of the art

〇 qpr - queerplatonic relationship

✦ rpf - real people/person fiction, like shipping content creators rather than their smp characters (i don't think i'll ever use this cuz i don't make that stuff, but ya never know)

〇 #🐷🤝🦆 - a qpr qacknobros au tag, adding here because there’s too many to go through and add #qpr to. all of it’s qpr unless tagged with “tw ship”, which is like, one

✦ discourse - there’s not a lot, but it’s a tag if ya need it. it’s mostly if i’m talkin about somethin i’m seein on my dash

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ask and submissions are always open. :P

please, if you like my art, reblog it.

you can use my art as icons, just put "icon by @altadoodler" somewhere visible, like your blog description.

you can also use my art as inspo for fanfiction and fanart! feel free to @ me if ya do so. here's my Ao3 if ya wanna send/gift me fanfics (https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALtaDoodler)

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if i’m on your DNI, just block me. that’s arguably better than me unfollowing you, especially if i’m reblogging your post and you see me in your notes. cuz if i unfollow, i’ll completely forget, probably see your stuff again, and follow again. my memory is trash, just block me so i can’t interact.

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this post will be edited as needed.

a bunch of other stuff, like links n whatnot, that i'm puttin under the cut as to not fill up ppls dash, or mobile viewing of my blog. there's also a lil meet the artist under there that i drew up in like, 20 min, because i realized i haven't done one of those, and it also feels like a good ref for my sona

(tumblrs post beta post editor is fucked rn, i might re-post/re-edit this when it’s not trash, i just wanted to add some stuff while i was thinkin about it)

Dream SMP boundaries carrd: alldreamsmp.carrd.co

Dream SMP boundaries blog: smp-boundaries

My pro-ship answers: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] tl;dr, it's just art, fiction =/= reality, i do not support irl incest/pedophilia, i should have said something sooner but past events made me want to not say anything about it. i'm willing to have a civil discussion about any further questions ya might have, but don't come into my ask with a "kys", hamster murder story, or anything worse.

don't show content creators my ship art of them :/...

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a carrd i found for pro-ship info: https://learnaboutproshipping.carrd.co

post about proship and purity culture: https://fandomeldersintheirthirties.tumblr.com/post/687012217015730176/demongender-vibes-fozmeadows-star-anise-foz

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other blogs i've made/am a part of that have 0 updates, but still exist:

https://knutmeg-aesthetics.tumblr.com

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/800plus-pkmn-propaganda

https://honest-undertale-confessions.tumblr.com

[bookwyrminspiration]

Shattered Upside Down

A kotlc wings au: masterpost here

Chapter 9: The Little Reminders

word count: 7.1k

chapter summary: Sophie and her friends are in the Lost Cities. The broken down, monster-infested Lost Cities. And they only have a certain amount of time to do everything they need to before something bad shows up. But monsters aren't all that comes to try and get them.

warnings: monsters, blood, implied death (of a character never met or mentioned again, who died a long time ago, it's not as bad as it sounds), arguing with parents, fighting, buildings collapsing, brief medical mention, swearing

taglist: I’ll reblog with it. let me know if you want to be added or removed!

Y'all ready? We're tying in some little details from earlier, so that's fun! Enjoy the chapter! Apologies if formatting is a little weird. Tumblr did a thing so I don't know what it'll look like when I post it!

ao3 link here or read below

It was so quiet a pin drop could’ve shattered the world.

Not that it would’ve made a difference. Colored glass and cracked gems littered the ground, an entire city brought to its knees. Mold and mushrooms crawled painstaking through the cracks, condensation crying down the sides, water marks left in their wake. Building after building as far as one could see was destroyed, damaged, some even reduced entirely to rubble.

Sophie didn’t even want to breathe as they moved, the stench of monsters and rotting flesh and decay permeating the area.

They hadn’t seen anything, not yet. But she knew they were there. Somewhere. Watching. Gauging. They’d entered the monsters’ territory, and now they could only try to do what they needed before those things decided to respond.

Their scent was thick enough Sophie wished she’d remembered to bring that mask she’d had before she’d run away, the same one they’d worn on that damning mission. It was supposed to be the end. They’d bring down the facility and clean up the aftermath and everything would get better.

A bright pink hair ribbon fluttered in a breeze, stuck beneath a cluster of broken crystal on the side of the path. A hand print beside it, frozen in the mud. A small hand print. It was gouged through with claw marks. She didn’t want to know what had happened. She knew.

Where do you think they are? Fitz asked, just to her. She gave him a mental shrug in response. She didn’t want to know. No amount of preparing would be enough for whatever happened.

Part of her, a surprisingly large part, didn’t want her parents to show up. She didn’t want to confront them and explain herself and lie her way through the conversation. And she knew she’d be at the center of it. The Moonlark. Sophie Foster. Always in the middle of things. Not that they were wrong, it was just tiring.

Yet another part of her remained horrified she’d even presented this ultimatum. She could risk herself; she’d had more experience with monsters in the past week than she’d had since everything started. Sure, it wasn’t much. But it was something. One of them even saw her as a...friend.

This group, she didn’t want to risk. But they wouldn’t let her do it alone and they’d planned this out beforehand. They weren't going in with their hands tied. And they could all easily escape, rely on those wings if it came to an emergency.

Maybe they’d even leave them alone again, like that creature in the tree the night they ran.

But their parents? They’d been stuck underground for the last several months. And they weren’t even fighters in the first place. They were painfully elven and she loved them to death. She couldn’t stand being responsible for anything that happened here today.

It was so horribly cruel of Sophie to have picked this place, to have given them so little choice. The place was infested. The stench made her eyes water, rips and tears marks littered the buildings everywhere you looked.

Something darted through her peripheral and she flinched. The creatures knew they were here. They just hadn’t attacked. Maybe they’d gotten lucky, were in a part of the city with some of the more docile ones, although all of them were threatening.

Let's get a head start. So they don’t catch us off guard. It seemed forbidden, intrusive to speak aloud. Like there was this careful illusion held together by the silence. None of them were willing to break it.

The others nodded, breaking into two groups.

Sophie, Linh, Biana, and Wylie in one; Dex, Tam, Maruca, Marella, Fitz, and Keefe in the other. Those that could hide the wings, and those that couldn’t. And Dex, who was going to grab some supplies.

Sophie pulled her cloak closer, checking it was secured as a breeze passed by. The wings buzzed in response, the open sky beckoning her. She’d have to be extra careful they didn’t make a noise if their parents showed up.

Wylie nudged her, raising his brows in question.

Right. She was supposed to find them. Track them. She was the telepath of their group.

Everyone reeked of anxiety, muscles tensed as she leaned back against a nearby building for stability, raising her fingers to her temples.

Starting with a blanket sweep, she scanned the nearby area, searching for any presence she could find. The wave spread from her like an explosion, rocketing outwith her at the center. She could feel Fitz stumble, perking up as the wave washed over him, faintly hearing someone ask him what happened. She didn’t bother to hear the reply.

There were pockmarks scattered throughout, empty holes moving within the web she wove. Monsters. Since that day in the facility she’d learned what they felt like, the hollow space they left behind. Like looking for a blind spot. They were...everywhere. But none attacked.

Reaching further, she kept scanning, about to give up.

Someone smelling of cherry blossoms placed their hand down on her shoulder, shaking her slightly. Sophie jerked, inhaling deeply, keeling forward and nearly toppling over if it weren’t for that hand.

Not here yet, she whispered, trying to reorient herself. The sudden change from concentration back to reality had been jarring--unintentional on Biana’s part, but a large stressor nonetheless.

Move!! Biana hissed in her mind, pulling Sophie along.

Oh.

Her mind lagged a moment behind as she was dragged, shaking her head to try and comprehend the enormous, gaping shadow that had fallen over their group.

She covered her mouth to try and slow her breathing as they ducked around a corner.

Biana hadn’t shaken her awake out of impatience or question. She’d jarred her into reality to escape.

Now that she was aware of it, the pungent odor of breath and smoke coated her tongue. Just how distracted had she been? How far out had her mind been reaching that she didn’t even notice the thing right beside her?

It’s claws made a horrid screeching sound against the crystal as it moved, talons sinking into the wall several feet above where they’d just been, its enormous barbed tail swinging lazily, thwacking into that very spot she’d been leaning against, leaving cracks and scratches all down the side.

C’mon, Linh called, gesturing from where she was tucked away on the other side of the road. Let’s get away from here.

There was no way they could get past that tail, sporadically swinging around and blocking that path to the rest of their group. Goddamnit. How had they gotten separated so quickly?

“There’s no way we’re getting through there,” Biana groaned oh so quietly, speaking Sophie’s thoughts aloud, shaking out her hands, trying to dispel the nerves.

Sophie absentmindedly nodded in agreement, surveying the area, looking for the least dangerous, quickest path. She didn’t even need a destination, just away. Biana’s fingers closed around her wrist, drawing energy from her skin as they both sporadically faded in and out of view. Huh. When had Biana grown so powerful?

The thing shifted its weight, tail thunking around and sinking into the wall, using it as leverage to crawl further up the building, staining it red wherever its skin grated against the crystal.

Wait.

Now, Sophie urged, pulling them both back. Use this moment. Take advantage of every single second you’re granted and wring every inch of progress you can from it. With the tail momentarily occupied, you’d think she’d go forward. Dart through the danger and emerge victorious.

No. Sophie Foster didn’t like to do things the way people expected her to. It made her eyelashes itch.

She whirled around, Biana attached to her wrist. They’d backed themselves into a corner, but just how far back would this corner go? What would it give them if only they had the keen insight to ask?

Its eyes made contact with hers and its mouth dropped open just as they turned their backs, the sound of the ground trembling behind them as it dropped itself down, starting the hunt.

Rock slammed against the soles of their shoes as they stumbled through the rubble, tripping over colored pebbles and ducking under collapsed pillars, buildings rising on either side of them like they were trapped in a maze with no end. No solution.

Growls and screeching claws echoed around them, and she knew they were surrounded. She couldn’t see them but she knew.

They’d caused a commotion and now everyone was coming to see what all the fuss was about.

Cursing, they rounded a corner only to come to a screeching stop, a mound of crystal pieces blocking their path. Turning, they looked over their shoulders.

Something skidded down the side of the building, the narrow gap between walls, claws scratching as it descended, something unpleasant in its eye. It’s mouth gaped, no teeth in sight but a hissing noise emerged nonetheless. It was large enough it nearly didn't fit in the space, but it contorted and slithered and narrowed its gaze onto her, mouth falling open with a mechanical click.

Well, fuck. It’s too early for that. The morning chill hadn’t even dispersed yet.

Both their heartbeats hammered in their chest, adrenaline surging as she realized this one was very much not friendly, it wouldn’t even try to be. Leave leave leave leave leave she needed to get out. They needed to go somewhere anywhere else.

Where are you going? Linh asked, somewhere from beside Wylie. It seemed Biana and Sophie were the only ones in danger. Great. The others didn’t even know they were being hunted, stalked, tracked, assessed.

Um. Good question, she responded. I’ll let you know when we figure that out. Biana glanced at her sidelong, seeming to realize Sophie actually didn’t have a plan and groaning. Then grinned, laughing with her hand over her mouth to stifle the sound as she threw herself into their escape.

They turned on their heels, putting their backs to this new monster once more, and ran. On hands and knees, rocks and pebbles shifting uneasily beneath them as they climbed over the pile.

Their cloaks with the chaotic movement and Sophie caught a single glimpse of the vibrant orange against Biana’s back before she was bumping into a corner and moving again.

It crashed into something behind them, the haphazard destruction providing a dangerous terrain it couldn’t quite navigate. Good. Good. This was good.

Run. Jump. Avoid. Disappear.

It roared behind them, screeching in pain as something heavy crashed down. Maybe it’d gotten caught on a building. Good. That was good, right?

Sunlight shone through the gaps between buildings, spastic as they channeled extra power into their legs, dashing darting dancing through the destruction until she saw an opening, looked up and remembered that flash of orange and realized she was not burdened to the ground and she grabbed Biana’s hand.

“JUMP,” she screamed, her voice echoing through the walls and reverberating back to her against the crystal.

They jumped, pushing all that channeled strength into their legs and leaping higher higher higher until they crested the walls and could see for miles for everywhere for eternity.

And they caught themselves.

Those wings snapped out, flinging themselves from beneath the cloaks and smoothing their descent. She blinked and that film dropped over her eyes.

Biana moved jerkily yet somehow smooth in the sky, letting go of Sophie’s hand as she flitted to and fro, movements that would’ve made Sophie undeniably nauseous.

It took her only a moment to locate the others, to find Wylie’s exasperation and Linh’s concern. To change course and point Biana in the right direction and swan dive down, curving around crumbling spires and rods.

Risking a glance backwards, she couldn’t locate that creature, it seemingly lost within that maze of buildings and halls and paths that would’ve trapped them too had the sky not beckoned so loud.

Clear. They were in the clear. It was behind them. They were fine.

Vaguely, she could see the other group in the distance, the rest of their friends pointing and waving as they watched them soar in slowly descending circles, growing ever closer to the ground. They’d gone off to find Dex’s supplies, just perusing through the city. It’d take several people to get everything he needed, maybe even more than one trip.

Biana began lowering herself, but Sophie couldn’t help but linger in the sky just a few moments longer, taking in the destruction. Reminding herself of everything they were fighting for, why she needed to step out of her own skin and remember all the people she’d left behind.

She shouldn’t have.

Something glimmered off in the distance, only visible with this new eyesight from this vantage point, but she dropped like a stone.

The void let her through, jumping between places and glitching through the air like she had when she’d grabbed Marella, falling atop Biana in the sky and wrapping her arms around her, jerking them through the void and onto the ground, sprawling a few feet away from the rest of their group.

Shit.

Biana sat up, shaking herself off and covering her wings, drawing that cloak close. Everyone’s hearts were hammering, echoing in her ears as her throat went dry.

Sophie got to her feet, bracing her hands on the back of her neck. She couldn’t dare speak it out loud, didn’t know what was still listening. If that creature had truly gotten itself caught or if it was just waiting to continue the chase. She didn't want to bother with it, just thinking it a minor nuisance as the real shit came to fruition.

Huh. Her world had devolved into such chaos that a monster chase was just a brief interruption, nothing to be thought over.

She shook her hands out, Wylie reaching down to help Biana to her feet.

There was no use putting it off any longer, so she spoke into the entire mindbubble. They’re here.

Sophie couldn’t pull her wings close enough; they were so conformed to the shape of her body she worried they’d bend that way permanently. But still, she wanted them closer. She’d buttoned up the front of her cloak, prepared her lies, but it wasn’t enough. Nothing would ever be enough.

She scratched at her arms to try and distract herself, but that just pulled at her damaged skin, leaving lacerations and blood stains behind. She really should’ve wrapped them. Why hadn’t she wrapped herself up? That’s what she’d gone with Tam to get.

Linh's skin was covered in bandages, her legs and arms tightly bound. It hid some of the incandescence, and in the morning light she almost looked completely normal. Sophie should’ve done the same to herself. She’d gotten so distracted she hadn’t even thought to, and none of the others had remembered to remind her.

Strange. Usually they were so on top of her injuries. It was...unsettling to imagine why they weren’t this time. Not that--not that she wanted them to focus on her. She just--

“Is everyone prepared?” Wylie’s voice was so loud in this silence it made her physically jump, taking all of her energy to keep the wings from shooting out in fear, giving herself away. She did get some impressive height, though.

“Nope. Let’s do this anyway.” If they didn’t do this now, didn't confront their parents and convince them to stop trying to find them, they’d just have to do it again later.

They were fine for now. They were relatively safe and unharmed. Their injuries were from themselves, not the forest. The forest. The forest only she had access to.

If you can, grab the stuff to make a temporary crystal or find a pathfinder of some kind, she sent out to everyone. So you don’t have to rely on me.

Nice try, Foster. I like relying on you. But yeah we’ll look.

She rolled her eyes. Of course he was joking. He knew she was anxious and the little fucker was trying to make her feel better. And it was fucking working. She scowled.

Alright. Now or never. Do or die.

Live with it.

Sophie couldn’t see through the tears falling from her lashes, the wet getting caught up in those films. The world was made of fragments and smears and it was all she could do to hold herself together as she saw her father climbing over a mound of rubble.

Grady. Dad.

There were others beside him, an entire group who had come out to try and get them back, but she couldn’t stop herself from desperately reaching out one last time. She saw him and her legs were moving moving moving and she just had to get to him to let him hold her to feel him alive beneath her fingertips.

He was moving too, eyes widening as he sprinted forward and then he was right there and his arms wrapped around her and held on so so tight and his chin rested on her head and her face was buried in his chest and he smelled like soap and feathers and warmth and home.

She’d missed this so much.

“Hey, kiddo,” he whispered against her hair, the braids she’d woven them into on the walk over, trying to tame the mess. She’d have to do that when flying. They rocked back and forth, just holding holding holding each other.

She’d missed this.

Eventually, he stepped back a bit, holding her out by the shoulders and looking her over, gnawing at his lip as he saw all the blisters, the lacerations, the burns. The scratches.

It’d been a rough couple of days.

“Are you okay?” he asked, bringing her in close again, this time oh so gentle. Like he was afraid one wrong move would tear her apart.

She just shrugged; she couldn’t get her throat to work. She exhaled, the breath shaky and uncontrolled, wiping at her eyes to try and compose herself. She didn’t even know who else was here. Did she care?

Sophie stepped back, but Grady reached up to pat the top of her head, smoothing down her hair. She leaned into the touch. She’d missed this.

He stepped to the side when he saw her leaning to try and see around him, glancing around the area now that she was here and there was something to protect.

There were so many people. Any number was many. She didn’t know why she thought she could do this. She could do this.

Taking a deep breath, she counted who’d come.

Ro and Sandor--Sandor--stood on either side of the group, weapons out and noses lifted to the wind. Protection. Della was wrapped around Biana, fussing over her and feeling the bandages on her arm. A pang of guilt hit her, but she pressed it aside. Mr. Forkle stood beside Wylie, the two of them in some sort of discussion she hadn’t expected. Elwin had rushed to Linh just beside Wylie, and was now carefully lowering her to the ground, Juline giving a helping hand.

Juline. She looked up, making eye-contact with Sophie, holding it.

“Everyone else is in a different part of the city,” she said, clearing her throat. “But they’re fine. They’re okay. Well--” she cut off, eyes glazing over as she reached out to Fitz.

Grady’s hand tightened on her shoulder, but the sensation faded as her mind reached away from her body.

I’ve...they’re here. She said, unsure how else to put it. Are you all doing alright?

It took him a moment to respond. Yup. Just a little--shit. Just a lot of unwieldy things. I just dropped something. Dex seems to be having the time of his life, though. None of it makes sense to me.

Okay. Reach out if you need anything. Or just to interrupt...because this conversation isn't going to be fun.

He laughed slightly, hollow. Yeah. I definitely don't envy you right now.

Wait, have you envied me before?

Good question.

She waited for him to answer it, but it was silent on his end. Well you can’t just--

Take care, Sophie. I love you.

He severed their connection.

“--Sophie?” Someone was shaking her--Grady. That was Grady. His hand was on her shoulder and he was shaking her back into her body.

“Mmm. Yup. That’s me,” she slurred, shaking her head slightly to regain her stability, to ground herself. She rubbed at her eyes, Fitz’s words echoing in her mind. I love you.

She wanted to say it back. Why hadn’t he given her the chance to say it back?

Sophie found Juline once more, directing her words in that general area but addressing the whole group. “Yeah, they’re all fine.”

“Tell them to come here, please.” Ah. Okay. Right into it, then.

She shook her head. “They’re busy.”

Sandor stepped forward, fist tightening on the hilt of his blade. “They can un-busy themselves for this.”

Wylie took it for her, and she nearly leapt forward to hug him right there and then, but it didn’t seem like the right time. She didn’t want to be the only one they addressed.

“Unfortunately, they cannot. But anything you need to tell them you can tell us and we’ll relay the information.” He crossed his arms, glancing towards her as if in question.

She inclined her head slightly. Yes, it was okay that he stepped in.

“We’ll need all of you in one place for this,” Sandor said, and Sophie’s stomach dropped.

“We’re not going back.”

Grady’s hand tightened on her shoulder, flexing as if he wanted to pull her closer and just leap away with her. But they were separated. If they stole the four of them away now, they’d never find the other six.

She hated that they had to strategize like this.

“Look,” Ro began, pointing a dagger at her to emphasize her point. “I don’t know what kind of idiocy has infected your group, but you can’t be up here. You and your little fucked up elf brains have to come back with us, to the underground. And we’ll take you by force if necessary.” Everyone flinched, Juline frowning at her like they’d had an agreement beforehand, a plan, and Ro had gone completely off the rails.

Sophie just shook her head. “No. We’re here to see you. To let you know everyone’s okay, and that you don’t need to worry.” Ro rolled her eyes, and Sophie was tempted to flip her off. “But we are not going back, and that is final.”

“This absolutely is not final, kiddo.” Grady contradicted, turning her around slightly to face him. The movement sent her cape swirling and for a moment she thought the wings would become visible, but they remained hidden. Thank fuck.

This would never end. They’d only go round and round and round in circles and neither would ever concede and their parents would never understand why. They’d just sit here until--

“While we’re...discussing that, how about you sit down and let me look over you, that sound good?” Elwin waved her over from where he sat beside Linh, whose bandages had been peeled back. Biana sat by Linh’s side, looking over fresh, better wrapped bandages over her cuts. He must’ve gotten to work on the two of them while Sophie had been talking with Fitz. Right. His little farewell would haunt her the moment she had time to think...which didn’t seem to be anytime soon.

She nodded, walking over and placing herself beside Linh, bumping her arm with her elbow in greeting. Linh bumped right back into her, smiling as she winced. Something about this light made her look almost normal. She wondered why no one else had commented or asked about the patterns on her skin. Could they even see them?

He inhaled, sucking the air in through clenched teeth. “I bet you two were exposed to the same thing, huh?” He asked, gently pulling Sophie’s arm and inspecting the peeling skin.

“Yep,” she answered, unsure how much Linh had already said.

He doesn’t know it was Marella, she whispered into Sophie’s mind.

What did you tell him?

Run in with a weird creature and a stray explosive? Sorry, I was thinking on the spot.

Sophie nodded. She could work with that story.

“I’d tell you to be more careful around fires and those kinds of things, but I don’t think you know how,” he teased, but his frown didn’t fade as he gently observed the visible skin, pulling serums and creams and bandages from his bag. “I guess that’s why you specifically requested I come.” Sophie nodded, then realized she should probably say something.

She cleared her throat. “You don’t know that. Maybe we just missed you.”

He laughed, gently rubbing a thin layer of something over her arm before covering it with a light gauze. She sighed with relief, leaning against Linh. She hadn’t realized how much pain she’d been in until she felt the cooling effect of the balm.

Both Sophie and Linh were given several elixirs, luckily none too soured or rotten. Biana;s injuries were light enough that she only took a pain reliever.

Unfortunately, the brief peace couldn’t last. The adults seemed content to just keep watch, the scent of sweat and anxiety overwhelming as they surveyed the area, eyed the tree line, the mounds of rubble, just long enough for Elwin to do the basics of what he needed.

Probably because they expected him to be able to continue the treatment once they’d gotten to the underground.

They didn’t seem to understand that they were not coming back.

She wanted to. She didn’t want to leave.

Mr. Forkle approached her on the ground, offering her a hand to help her stand. The gauze across her palm rubbed strangely as he hoisted her to her feet, the sensation off-putting enough that she shook it out slightly as she found her balance.

Linh tugged at her cloak as she stood, readjusting it so it sat against the wings properly, hiding them. Elwin had tried to get her to take it off, but she’d refused. Told him to just do what he could see right now and worry about the rest later.

He’d also told them all he’d want to look at their backs, see what had happened after he’d left them for a short time and returned to find them gone.

He’d told them he’d forgive them if they apologized for scaring the shit out of him, that they didn’t have to do it now. They could deal with all of that later.

There wouldn’t be a later. She just had to convince them to let them all go.

They’d never agree to let them all go. This was an impossible task, doomed to fail from the start.

“You kids just love getting in trouble, don’t you?” He asked, stepping back to let the others come forward. The groups condensed, kids (and Wylie) across from the adults, the line seemingly already drawn.

She shrugged. “That tends to happen when you give children the responsibility of fixing a broken world.”

Linh winced, but this time it wasn’t from her injuries.

“That responsibility was meant to be shared and eased with the help of the Black Swan, help we cannot provide with you as runaways.”

Sophie rolled her eyes. “No. You’re still part of the problem. You weren’t helping anyone, certainly not us.” Oh. Okay. She was doing this now.

“We know you think our ways are too traditional, that we’re not making progress--”

“No. Let me talk.” She held up a hand, silencing them. She’d let them silence her into submission when she’d burned down that storehouse; she wouldn’t let them do it again. “The first time the Neverseen were defeated, how did that happen? Us. We--my friends and I--took the fight to them. We didn’t sit at home waiting for approval from the council, waiting to fight ‘legally.’ There was a problem. A problem that got people killed. And you’d been fighting for decades and got nowhere until I tracked Gisela across the globe and found her myself. Until Dex hacked their trackers and trailed them. Until Biana infiltrated their base on her own to plant bugs and get us intel.”

They looked like they wanted to stop her, but she pressed on. “Your complacency has gotten you nowhere, and I am not at all sorry to be fighting to get results. The Neverseen were gone. My friends brought them to their knees, and you said you’d support us, take it from there and pick up the pieces. Well, guess what? Those pieces scattered in the wind because they weren’t properly disposed of and now they're out in the world, causing even more trouble than we ever could have imagined. You didn’t do your part, so I don’t trust you to support us now. You’ll have to earn that back, and if this”--she gestured to their little group, the people they’d sent to try and convince them all to come back, to tug at their hearts and play into their guilt--”is any indication, you are only getting further and further away from that.”

She crossed her arms, trying to keep herself in check. She hadn’t even known she’d had all that bubbling beneath her skin, but now that she’d open that part of herself she could feel it frothing, foaming to escape. There were so many ways she’d been disappointed, so many mistakes people had consciously made, it felt like her veins would burst.

Ro’s mouth had fallen open, torn between anger at her stubbornness to come back and loving Sophie’s disregard for those in charge, the disobedience.

Biana glanced at her out of the corner of her eye, raising a brow in question. Sophie nodded, imperceptible. They needed someone to cool the situation down, someone good in social situations.

Juline opened her mouth to respond but Biana cut her off, stepping forward. She was never afraid to be blunt and Sophie loved that about her.

She smoothed out her clothes, her scars on full display. “You seem to misunderstand why we’re here. We left abruptly, we know. It was necessary. Now that things have calmed down, we agreed to see you again--to give you some peace of mind. To let you know we’re okay in person. Not just the four of us, all ten.

“We didn’t come here to debate returning. We’re not coming back, not right now. So stop trying to convince us, and don’t try to justify your actions against valid criticism.”

There was silence for a moment, then Della spoke.

“You’re not safe out here,” she said. Smart. Begin the conversation with an indisputable fact in their favor. But Sophie could do that too.

“We’re not safe anywhere.”

Sandor sighed, but it sounded more like a growl, not even looking at her, still scanning the perimeter. They were fairly out in the open; for some reason, they hadn’t moved to better ground.

“You’ll be much safer where we, your bodyguards”--he gestured to himself and Ro--”can see you and protect you. That’s what we’re here for. This is a massive nest of monsters; we’re lucky we haven’t been attacked yet. This is a mess.” He gestured around the area, the cracked crystal and claw marks.

He was right. Which was why they needed to end this quickly. Get them out before they were hurt. She needed to go somewhere else, to cool off. She could feel Linh and Wylie’s eyes on her, wondering if she’d explode at their parents like she’d done with Biana.

Sophie nodded in agreement. She was nodding a lot during this conversation. “You’re very good bodyguards, but we’re staying up here. Besides, our location isn’t here.”

“Then tell us where you are,” Juline cut in, a hint of panic in her voice. Glad to see the four of them safe, but none of them the person she’d specifically come for. And she didn’t know it, but that one person’s body wasn’t working the way it should.

Combined with her outburst, the realization that they were completely out of power in this situation was settling in. She could read it in their widening eyes, the shifts in their stances, like they were rearranging themselves.

“We can’t. We literally can’t.”

“Please, Sophie--” Grady began, running his hands through his hair in frustration, looking like he wanted to grab her and shake some sense into her, but he froze.

They all did.

Because they all heard it.

A horrendous screeching noise, like metal grating against metal. Or claws against the ground.

SOPHIE. GET OUT OF THERE. Fitz’s voice pounded into her mind, panic and terror following.

What? Why?

MONSTER!

“Move,” she hissed, shoving Linh to the side, noting Biana dragging Wylie the other way. Away. They had to get away.

She looked over her shoulder, seeing their group scramble, glancing around frantically, trying to find where the noise had come from. Sophie hadn’t bothered to figure it out, just moving away.

Something crashed to the ground, a great plume of smoke and dust arising from the area, whipped around by a sudden wind, like something was beating its wings. It must’ve been a tower, building, the sound so horrendous she stumbled, hands pressed to her ears as it ripped through her.

Wylie was panting on the ground across from her, eyes closed as his hands covered his ears.

The building took eternity to fall, seconds of time dripping past like a deluge, one after another until she couldn’t tell the difference and someone was screaming her name or maybe that was just the ringing in her ears but something was coming coming coming it was after them they’d overstayed their welcome and everything was crashing apart around her.

Think, Foster, she reminded herself.

Next step. Find the others. Find everyone.

The few precious seconds it took her to gather herself enough to reach for her temples were too many. She was out of time.

“I said MOVE!” Fitz was yelling at her, sprinting from a nearby alley, a pathway through the mess. He was moving lopsided, his limp aggravated by whatever the physical labor had done to his knee. Oh.

That’s why he’d warned her.

His group was heading their way, a monster in tow, screaming at them to get out.

The other six were close behind, Keefe darting around corners, Dex leaping into the air with channelling. Marella’s hands were glowing, Tam’s fingernails stained black.

Their cloaks fastened tight but something something something still looked off if you were focusing. No one was focusing on them.

They were occupied with something else.

It screamed.

Sophie stood there, frozen, as it crawled over a mound of rubble, jerking and frantic, several eyes littered over its body, claws digging into the crystal as all its sight narrowed in.

On the other group.

Where her father was.

“NO!” She didn’t know who said it, who screamed. But her throat stung and her body was trying to move without her permission.

“Dex,” Juline yelled, a strange relief washing over her face as she saw him, quickly vanishing as the creature tumbled forward. It moved so inhumanly quick, limbs upon limbs emerging and cycling as it danced uncontrolled toward their vulnerable parents.

Ro had drawn her sword, a maniacal grin slicing her face as she laughed, widening her stance.

No no no nonono. She couldn’t kill it. She didn’t stand a chance and she’d go down trying and it would be all Sophie’s fault because she’d frozen and wasn’t doing anything when if anyone deserved to pay it was her.

Grady’s face had hardened, a weapon in his hand she didn’t recognize pulled from somewhere as he stood back, eyes on that charging creature when his face went slack and he whirled, another one emerging from behind.

She couldn’t get to him, an eternity between them, rocks and debris and a wall of hurt throwing them further and further apart with each step she took forward. Linh was tugging at her arm, Maruca at her other. Trying to get her away.

It was impossible to fix this. They’d doomed themselves from the start.

He was still wildly searching the area, searching for her.

They made eye contact, his face softening as he saw her, saw how far she was. That she could still get away, wasn’t being directly attacked.

“No,” she whispered, watching him turn away, steel settling over his skin. A calm acceptance

No.

She wouldn’t do this, wouldn’t watch him die.

Sophie lunged forward, breaking from her friends’ grasps with that new ease,

and

she

glitched.

She was dancing through time and space, here and there and everywhere in a single instant. There was no distance too far, nothing she couldn’t be in this one moment in time. This one moment that she’d make last an eternity. This world was hers to command.

She appeared, just at his side, shoving him away, letting that prowling creature descend on her instead, sinking its teeth into the skin of her shoulder, ripping through fabric and darting away.

She didn’t care. She didn’t care at all. Because Grady was fine just a few feet away. He was fine. That’s all that mattered.

His eyes widened as he watched her, trying to stand amongst all this chaos and rubble, and she didn’t understand didn't understand the fear, the pain in his eyes. The screams and gasps echoing behind her, the way the world seemed to pause for a moment.

Not until she saw the tattered remains of her cloak fall to the ground.

“Go home,” she whispered, backing away from him. “Go back. It’s not safe up here.”

He wasn’t moving, he wasn’t talking; no one was.

But the creatures were still screaming, eyes condensing and coalescing, observing her and the people around her.

“Get them out of here, Sophie” Maruca screamed, force-fields flickering into place around the creatures, caging them in. But she wasn’t steady on her feet. Why hadn’t she raised the shields earlier? Maruca nearly fell, her hold flickering. She was buying Sophie a few seconds, but that was all she could give. Who knew what she'd given already.

Sohie steeled her nerves, letting the wings buzz behind her, keeping the attention. Let them see her, let them focus on her and not notice the things on her friends backs too.

“I’m sorry,” was all she said, darting forward faster than Grady’s eyes could understand, glitching the two of them just a little bit away, beside Della. She grabbed the two of them, and vanished.

The clearing was just as she remembered it. The crystal grate sat crooked on the ground, the trees around as menacing and uninviting as ever. Last time she’d been here it was raining.

It was supposed to be the last time.

She let go of the two of them, ripping through the void back to the Lost Cities. Another two. Juline and Elwin. She brought them back.

Went back and forth until they were all back, all away, all safe. Safer, at least.

“Sophie, wait--” Grady was reaching for her. He scrambled for his pocket, telling her they'd just come back. She couldn’t leave, she had to stay. Let the adults go back and handle it.

She twirled the pathfinder through her fingers, listened as he fell silent.

It’d been right there in easy reach when she’d grabbed him. So she’d taken it. They’d needed one, and taking it from him kept them from coming back. At least for a little bit.

He was reaching for her.

She didn’t look back.

She vanished.

The shields fell just as Sophie arrived. There were monsters loose in the Lost Cities, chasing her and her friends. She didn’t care.

The world had ended years ago.

Nothing. That’s what she felt.

Everything was numb. The echoing screams of the creatures, the grating of their claws against the ground, the sweat and fear of her friends. None of it registered. It would hit her later, she knew, but not now. Not yet.

Sophie dug her nails into her scalp, watching the creatures explode out of their containment, finally set free. They laughed, animalistic, bodies thrashing rhythmically as they slithered forward.

Apparently physics didn’t matter anymore.

Thoughts and plans filtered through her mind, the mindbubble alight with chaos. She tuned it out, just watching from the center of it all. The eye of the storm.

Someone was in the sky, unused to flying but moving with enough precision she knew they’d done it before.

One of the creatures locked eyes with her, maw falling open with a haphazard grin. A mechanical creak came from it’s neck as it twitched.

It scrambled forward, close to the ground, crossing the clearing in just a few short moments.

She didn’t care.

It was going to tear her to pieces.

She didn’t care.

The ground rumbled, trembling and bucking and weaving into new positions, throwing them all the ground, the scent of thunder and terror rolling over her, knees buckling beneath her.

The stench hit her first, the watered down rot, a dying perfume of withered roses and rotten fruit. Cloyingly sweet, deceptively undead. Her eyes began to water, like she’d been physically hit. She couldn’t see through the tears, but she didn’t need to.

It made itself known.

Dark and decay seemed to slip through the cracks of the stone, falling upwards like unnatural rain.

It crushed that creature beneath its gargantuan paw, cracked and molten.

It was right in front of her.

She looked at it and it looked back, nearly four times the size of the thing it’d just killed like it was nothing.

Monsters vs monster. It’s eyes glowed a deep gold, dripping down the midnight blue of its face, its body vaguely bear shaped.

It looked away, charging towards those other monsters, the movement accompanied by a jingle.

There was a collar around its neck, tags clanging against each other as it moved, killing--destroying--each of those creatures her friends ran from one by one.

An intelligence lingered behind its eyes, its movements. This was...even more unsettling than the creatures, than the destruction littered around her.

It blinked at her like it knew her.

Sophie forced herself to her feet, to take in absolutely everything she could about this thing before it vanished. It could be the difference between life and death.

It lowered it’s head to the ground, and

her

heart

stopped.

Behind it’s head, hidden by the whorls of curls decorating its stocky body, was a little girl sat atop it.

A little girl in a chaotic, elaborate gown, something human’s thought princesses would wear, frizzy red hair tangled around her face.

The little girl she’d seen in the facility.

[mithrilwren]

Fanfic ask game for procrastinating on writing, which as of this week is actually accurate, since I’m finally writing again! (or, more specifically, editing what I wrote two months ago so I can get back to writing.)

Tagged by @essektheylyss! Thank you, this is exactly the kind of activity my brain needed tonight.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

72! I was hovering at 69 for quite a while, sad to break the streak haha

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

~550K, which is somehow both more and less than what I expected

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Many, lmao. According to my Ao3 (omitting any blanket tags) I’ve got 22 there, plus at least two more over on ff.net from back in the day, and probably a couple more just on Tumblr. Most of them I’ve only written one fic for, though. I think the only fandoms where I’ve written more than one are Critical Role (35), Supernatural (15), Haikyuu!! (3), The Exorcist (2), Dimension 20 (2), and Yu-Gi-Oh! (2)

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Pick a Number, Any Number

Surprisingly, my number one is NOT a Critical Role fic, nor is it even one of my longer multi-chapters! It’s actually a one-shot I wrote for Haikyuu!! back in the day that took off far beyond what I expected. I wrote it for DaiSuga week, which was a ship I (to be completely honest) wasn’t even terribly invested in, but I had a fun idea and people seemed to like it! (It’s also much fluffier than what I usually write, which might be part of its broader appeal ;))

A Winter’s Ball

Unsurprisingly, the next four are all CR ;). This one was a M9 x VM crossover that I primarily wrote between the hours of 3-8am over the course of two insomnia-wracked nights and honestly, I think it shows in its uncharacteristically unstructured format (compared to my typical style, which tends to favour shorter scenes with very intentionally-placed breaks between, as opposed to scenes that flow into each other without pause). That’s not to say I think it’s a bad thing! The story, which follows Beau as she drifts through a party in Whitestone and observes the interactions between the various guests, actually flows better without that kind of interruption. This was also my first Beaujester piece. I started writing it right before Beau’s confession aired, and published it the week after, which definitely pushed me to make what had been only subtextual in the first half of my draft into the emotional lynchpin of the story.

Only the Nightingale Sings

I’m really glad this one still ranks as high as it does, because this story is absolutely my pride and joy. At one time (though I’m not sure that’s true anymore) it was the longest gen fic in the fandom, which is pretty cool! Plot-heavy, twist-heavy, angst-heavy, with seven points of view to follow and multiple interwoven storylines, it was a beast of a thing to write, and took almost exactly a year to finish, but the long process was oh-so worth it. Literally nothing makes me happier today than seeing a new comment or kudos on this story.

Closer Still

One of my earliest shadowgast fics, this one asks the question “how can you make the ‘stuck in an elevator trope’ fantasy?” The answer is, as always, demiplanes. This fic, perhaps more than any of my other shadowgast fics, is interesting to revisit, because it was written before the ep 97 reveal, but literally everything Essek does in it would suggest otherwise. It reads like I already knew he was a spy working with Trent, and yet I was firmly in the “Essek is NOT the spy” camp at the time. Gotta chalk that up to Matt telegraphing his growing guilt into the preceding episodes - even if I couldn’t see it, it was clearly there.

your dust from mine

My other novel-length CR multichapter, this fic brought me so much joy in the otherwise bleak summer of 2020. Most of my best memories of those four months come from working on this story. A Fjorclay adaption of The Goose Girl (my favourite fairytale) this story is about healing, growth, and figuring out what happiness means to you. While I know most people don’t read stories for this pairing anymore, for obvious reasons, I still cherish your dust from mine for how much of my heart I poured into it, and I look back on it with a huge amount of fondness.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do my absolute best to respond to every comment someone leaves on a story of mine, even if it occasionally takes a month or two. Replying to comments is one of my favourite parts of the fic-writing process - it gives me a chance to revisit peoples’ kind words and (often, incredibly insightful) observations, and I hope it also shows how appreciative I am of each and every one. 

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Though I write a lot of angst, I honestly tend more towards bittersweet endings than straight-up sadness. The only one I can really think of is What You Own - mind the tags if you follow the link, this is definitely one of the gnarlier things I’ve written for CR - whose ending is, admittedly, bleak. But this story so far removed from canon that I don’t think it’s the kind of angsty ending that lingers with you, as much as it packs a punch and then lets you go on your way.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I tend to enjoy thinking about crossovers moreso than actually writing them. I’ve brainstormed a few, but none have ever made it much farther than the first page.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

A few times! Not often, thankfully. Only one time in particular really sticks out to me, mostly for how it rocked my confidence in a way that I don’t think any comment could now, since I’ve had a few more years to build up faith in my own writing.

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Very, very occasionally.

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not! 

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Oh man, back in the Glee days... yeah. Yeah, I have. Nothing that ever got published, though ;)

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

Not sure I have one! Ships come and go with the seasons, and sometimes they’re best left in the era you found them.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The Shadowgast figure skating AU. It’s never going to happen, but I wish it had.

15) What are your writing strengths?

I would say probably structure, in terms of constructing narrative arcs and through-lines. I’m organized with my writing in a way that I am in few other areas of my life, haha. I’d also say my sense of place - I think I’m pretty good at constructing living, breathing settings and exploring how my characters interact affect/are affected by them.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

I have a tendency to be wordy (which you might surmise from the length of this post, lol) and repeat myself, usually by going over emotional beats that don’t need the extra reinforcement. On the other hand, I tend to underexplain certain elements (particularly, important plot details in fic, and character motivation in original writing), which can lead to confusion.

A couple years ago I would have said dialogue, but I’ve put a lot of practice into it and I honestly think I’ve improved a lot, which is pretty cool!

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve never done it myself, and it’s not generally my favourite thing to read (like @essektheylyss said, it makes me hyper-aware that I’m reading words on a page, especially if I have to follow a footnote somewhere). That said, I’ve definitely also seen it used effectively, so I think it’s more down to whether it suits the particular story!

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Yu-Gi-Oh!

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

As mentioned above, Only the Nightingale Sings.

[snaill-dragon]

Say Hello to Tomorrow

aha! I rewrote this piece like I talked about! thats two writings in one day(here's the other if you haven't seen it)! for those who don't remember Bleedingheart, she's a silk/hive hybrid I made some pride art for during pride month, here's the link if you wanna check it out. Im actually super proud of this new one, and the old one, but still! also im posting this to Tumblr from my computer, so the formatting may not go funky this time!! Content warning for: Foul language from Hearts bad mouth, and uh, its not too obvious here, but general implications for Heart not having a great life(Dont worry this is generally a sweet piece, and things get better for her.). Also not a content warning really, but keep in mind Heart can be a little grouchy/mean at times.

It was late evening, when Bleedingheart found herself sitting alone on one of her hive’s balconies, staring out at the ocean quietly. She always came out to watch the sunset when she could, but she came a little early today, after all this would be her last one here. Behind her she could hear the hive busy away, but out here it was almost bearable, even if it was always annoying. Was a bit of quiet too much for her to ask for? She sighed and focused her gaze out to the horizon.

The ocean was usually dark and cloudy, shades of indigo otherwise seen in the night sky, but when it got closer to sunset it had a softer glow, as the sun's reflection shone. It glowed light blues and white, as the water pulled and crashed. It was nice, peaceful…

Eventually her thoughts drifted back to the dragons she had met today, her chance to escape. She wasn’t used to seeing dragons from the pyrrhian tribes, these ones were skywings, with odd reds and oranges that she wasn’t used to seeing on anything but silkwings, and the more occasional hivewing. They hadn’t been sure about her at first, but Heart had convinced the odd dragons she could be useful, and they had been willing to help her.

She was jared from her thoughts by the sound of approaching footsteps, she looked over, a hivewing was walking towards her. He was almost entirely black, with a few gold scales on his face and wings.

“Hey Honeycomb, do you need something?” she asked, and the taller hivewing sat next to her, wrapping his tail around his feet.

“I wanted to say goodbye.” He smiled at her, a bit nervously, Heart narrowed her eyes at him.

“Who told you I was leaving?” she asked,

“I’m… not going to tell you that, you still have enough time here to swear someone out, and you would definitely find a way to fit it into your schedule.” He provided, and she gave him a flat glare, though with a more playful feeling behind it.

“You're too nice for your own good, Comb. It's gonna get you fucked over one day.”

“Well, until that day comes, I’ll just hope everyone is nice back.”

“I find it annoying,” Heart dismissed, turning her tail around to lightly flick at his legs, as if to prove her point.

“Well, I know you wouldn’t do that to me, and you're a bit… different from the other dragons I know here.” He chuckled lightly, pushing her tail away a bit.

“Because I want to leave?” Heart asked, playing innocent.

“Because you can be a bit…” he paused, seeming a bit unsure of his wording, “uh, childish at times.”

“Oh, no need to mince words. I’m a self proclaimed immature bitch,” Heart jokingly sprawled her talons across her chest in mock pride, laughing loudly.

“H-heart, don’t be so loud, one of the dragonets could hear you.” He stuttered, Heart frowned.

“It's not like they’ll be seeing me again.” she says simply, and for a second there's silence, before Honeycomb asks

“Why are you leaving?”

“It's not obvious? I’m unhappy here. More than just unhappy I hate it here” Heart’s voice raised at the end, perhaps a bit too much, and she glanced around, they were still alone on the balcony.

“You always said that,” Honeycomb admitted, “but… I guess it never occurred to me that you'd want to leave.”

“Yeah, well, this is just something I’ve always known, if that makes any sense?” Heart looked back to the ocean, away from Honeycomb.

“Well-”

“Hey look,” she interrupts without care, “it’s finally sunset… it’s really beautiful.” Honeycomb followed her gaze, and found himself smiling a bit.

“Your last one, from here at least.” He whisper, Heart laughs a little again,

“I had the same thought earlier.”

“Hah” He lets out a small chuckle, before being a bit more serious again, “I can’t believe I may never see you again.”

“After tomorrow? Yeah, it's pretty unlikely we’ll see each other again.” Heart was looking out at the ocean still, but she could feel the tone shifting.

“I think it's brave of you, to go somewhere you want to be, to leave something you know behind.”

“You always see the best in things, its actually kind of annoying, especially when it isn’t true… but for real, thank you.”

“I think it’s less of me being an optimist, and you being a pessimist” Honeycomb tried to lighten things up again, and Heart made an amused scoff.

“Oh please, don’t act all knowing, we know its both” she joked, smiling.

“Always the kidder, Heart.” He tried to laugh too, but Honeycomb didn’t sound as happy. Heart finally turned to look at him, he was staring at his feet.

“...don’t worry, I’ll stop being a cause for such conflicting emotions tomorrow.” She muttered, a bit more aggressive than she wanted it to come out. He looked surprised,

“What? Oh, no you’re not a bad thing.”

“Honeycomb you are literally the only person in this hive who doesn't hate me, and that's only because you're an idiot.” Heart nudged him a little, and he looked at her again.

“Is that why you want to leave?” he asked, and her face fell even further.

“Not really. I just… I feel if I stay here I wont get anywhere… as fucking stupid and cheesy at it is, tomorrow brings me hope. The first bit of hope to go somewhere I want in life in a long long time.” Heart looked away from him again, she didn’t like feeling this open. But it was the last time she’d see Honeycomb, she owed him a little honesty.

“I don’t think it’s that stupid, it makes sense, you want a happy life. Thats a good thing Heart.” The hybrid scoffed, no amusement in it this time, Honeycomb reached out a talon to comfort her, but Heart stood up and moved away.

“Right… I’m gonna go get some sleep, tomorrows a big day.” She starts to walk away, slowly in case he had anything else to say.

“Sleep well Heart… I wish you luck in finding what you're looking for one day.”

“Hah, I can only hope...” She walked back into the hive, Honeycomb a few steps behind her, for the very last time.

[guiltysecretpasttime]

Adversity - 13-A

Fanfic update

I’ve decided to utilize this tumblr space to put in WIPs/partial chapters/unedited stories from my end. Then I’ll post it somewhere in Ao3 or FF.net. Maybe.

 In the meantime, here’s an installment of Adversity (the chapters here in tumblr aren’t updated – it would make much more sense if you check it out on Ao3 first before coming back here). In essence this is part of Chapter 13.

Keen to hear what you think about this portion :)

-

Adversity details

Multi-chapter, work in progress, AU, pre-LoK,

Latest status: up to Chapter 12 uploaded in A03

Blurb: Lin and Tenzin are both at the height of their respective     careers – she with the Metalbending Police and he with the Air Nation.     Questions about their future begin to arise and things come to a head when     Lin responded to an emergency call. Would her job take them from each     other forever? Eventual happy ending. Alternatively: The one where Lin and     Tenzin had to go through adversity like Lin’s dangerous job, a near-death     experience, temporary separation and memory loss, unplanned pregnancy and     Tenzin’s responsibilities before they end up with a family.

Tumblr chapters 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Ao3 link |   Ff.net link

---

Adversity – 13-A

 Tenzin clutches a warm towel and wipes it across her forehead. He did not know why and if it would help but he thought it might make her feel better.

Her chest rose and fell with each breath, no longer laborious or irregular. Nonetheless, he kept vigil and held one of her hands. It reminded him of incidents in the past years where he kept watch over her – that night in the Fire Nation Royal Compound when they first found her alive, those nights after missions that might have gone fatally wrong…

The day had started promising. But as always with the two of them, it never was easy…

Once he had the cabana in his view, he should have known that Izumi would have pulled something like this.

---

Tenzin received a message from one of the staff that the princess requested for lunch to be served at one of the beach cabanas. He did not think much about it; it has happened before and figured that maybe Izumi was being a good host.

There was only one person else in the cabana – Lin, who was looking puzzled and was frowning at something on the table.

His feet hit the sand and the earthbender turned to him. “Oh, it’s you.” She looked at him incredulously.

“Sorry to disappoint.” He deadpanned, seating across her. He did not ask questions, assuming that she was led to the cabana using the same ruse.

"I had no idea that you were the man that Izumi said that I'll be meeting for lunch." Lin flicked a note towards him. “Why is she doing this? I found that upon arriving here.”

He caught the paper that slid on the table.

It was in Izumi’s handwriting – informing Lin to please consider (consider – the word was underlined heavily, the insinuation not lost to the reader) this man that she has invited for her. And that they would be left to their own devices as the princess has taken the entire family off for a scenic tour of the island on Druk, Appa and Oogi.

Trust that Izumi would have connived with the rest of the family to pull something like this off.

Tenzin felt the need to apologize for their meddling family and did just that.

Lin shrugged, seemingly uninterested. “Is this supposed to be a test?”

“A test?” What does she mean?

“For me – or for you?” Lin asked back.

“Like for your memory?” To the airbender, it seemed like they were having a different conversation.

The earthbender looked vaguely uncomfortable now, hand lightly patting her belly. “Um no – I mean, for you – is Izumi…?” She trailed off.

For the life of him, Tenzin could not think of what the continuation was.

“Your partner?” Lin finally asked.

What.

“No!” Tenzin’s voice rose, surprised by the question that he did not even consider that the response might have sounded rude. “Of course not!”

“Don’t you protest too much?” Lin was amused. “It’s fine really – or is it a matter of security?” She was being nonchalant about it though Tenzin could have sworn there was a tiny bit of relief in her voice.

“What. No – it’s not like that.” Tenzin had to disabuse her of this ludicrous idea she had. “They’re all just meddling – they mean well – look, Izumi – she’s not my type -!”

Now you just sounded like a whiny teenager.

He cleared his throat and tugged at his collar. “Well, seems like they’re setting us up.”

“Whatever for,” She rolled her eyes then grinned. “Let’s not waste the food then.”

He found himself chuckling at that as Lin proceeded to scoop some food on her plate. “Joke’s on them though.”

Lin’s only response was a raised eyebrow.

“I actually intend to ask you out for dinner today.”

She paused and left her chopstick hanging in the air. “Dinner.”

He wet his dry lips. “Yes.”

“I take it you haven’t told them yet?” Lin examined the other dishes available to them. “What time do we need to get ready or we don’t know yet, depending on how soon they get back?”

Tenzin held the back of his neck as the heat crept up. “I mean, dinner – just us, you and me?”

As much as he did not want to admit, maybe Bumi was right – he did not have game.

Lin’s face was unreadable.

He was able to back-pedal when he heard it.

“Okay.”

 ---

The rest of their lunch went a smoother.

They talked about the mundane things – he talked about Republic City, she talked about the Fire Nation. She asked about what he does in the council and how the RCPD was when they left. He was more than happy to oblige and took the time to answer her questions in great detail.

Before long, when she declared that she felt too full for dessert, he invited her to walk along the shore. He pointed out a cluster of rock formations at the edge of the island.

Lin looked intrigued and they set forth.

He explained that Lord Zuko had told them when they were children that the rocks were formed when the volcano used to be active. It made for an impressive sight, tall and a bit forbidding.

That did not stop them though, Tenzin shared, as they would keep going back there to play when they were younger.

They stood beside the rocks, sandals soaked by the sea, small waves lapping at their legs.

He was in the middle of a retelling of the time Bumi had dared Su to race him to the top (not knowing that the kid can earthbend really well by then) when rather large wave crashed against the rock formation, spraying and drenching them with salt water.

He was laughing, saying he probably should have warned that that usually happens. His eyes alighted on her and was caught mid-laugh.

Lin stood stiffly, her eyes wild. One hand on her cheek (her scars), another on her chest - breathing erratically gulping air.

“Lin!” He immediately held her by the shoulders; she was shaking. “Lin!”

A panic attack.

Each breath rattled against chest as she started blankly, unseeing. Lin was insensible to her surroundings.

Tenzin scooped her up and ran as it all clicked.

Captain Tomasu did say that they had found Lin in the water.

Damn.

The minutes it took him to the rest house felt like hours. With the family away on whatever excursion Izumi and Iroh planned, he had to rely on the staff to come to their aid. Fortunately, the in-house healer was at hand.

The rest was a blur.

 He felt the moment she regained consciousness. Her breathing shifted yet her eyes remained close.

Tenzin continued to run his fingers on her knuckles, whether to comfort her or himself was unclear.

Lin blinked slowly, her breathing sped up. Her hand quickly slapped to her cheek, tracing the scar with shaking fingers.

The airbender could hear her murmuring softly.

“My name is Lin. I’m in Ember Island. I’m okay. I’m safe. We’re -.” Her eyes focused and saw Tenzin at the periphery. “The baby?”

Tenzin leaned forward, grasping both of her hands and placing them on her stomach. “Is okay. You’re both okay – I had you both checked. You just had a little panic attack.”

There was no use alarming her.

“Panic attack…” She whispered to herself. “I used to black out before…”

“I’m sorry,” Tenzin said quietly. “I should have paid more attention to you.”

“You couldn’t have known.” Lin said in an equally soft tone. To his astonishment, she pulled his hand up to her cheek and leaned on it. “You couldn’t have done anything.”

He extended his fingers, gingerly touching her cheek. There were still times in the past weeks when he could not believe that she was here and she was alive. Little touches like these were rare and he savored the moments to remind himself that she was truly there.

“The rice granary,” Lin began, staring at the ceiling, actively avoiding Tenzin’s gaze. “It exploded, you know, the man – the firebender –.”

The airbender waited, this was in the papers and the reports that he was very familiar with.

“He knew what he was doing,” Lin held on his fingers tightly. “He saw me and he set fire – I fell to the water. I felt like drowning – maybe I did.” Tenzin gripped her hand back. “It was really hot and there was a lot of metal scraps. I remember sinking and maybe removing my armor…” Her face scrunched, obviously thinking. “The current was fast, rapidly swept me away – it was so cold. I thought I was going to die.” She resolutely focused on the ceiling when she heard Tenzin’s gasp. “I don’t know how long it was – it was dark, then there was light. My lungs – they burned so bad. Next thing I knew – I was aboard Captain Tomasu’s ship.”

Tenzin’s own breath caught.

Could it be… her memories have returned?

“Don’t force it.” He rubbed her wrist back and forth, hoping to sooth her.

“It’s still blank.” Her face was troubled and eyes were shiny with unshed tears. “I don’t remember what happened before the explosion.”

Feeling her get distressed, Tenzin moved closer to tuck her hair behind her ear. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m Lin Beifong, my mother is Toph – we grew up together in Republic City.” She now turned to him. “I live in Republic City now…”

His stomach churned. “What’s the last thing you remember from before?” He asked cautiously, afraid of triggering something.

“I’m deputy chief, I think.” She racked her brains. “There’s this small apartment. I think I live there.”

Tenzin swallowed. This was from a time before they lived together, when they were still exploring their relationship.

“I’m not losing it, am I? That really happened?” Her green eyes wide, seeing reassurance.

He nodded, still silently contemplating what this meant.

“After that – it’s blank.” She released a breath. “Did something significant happen during that missing period?”

“You got promoted to Chief of Police.”

“Maybe that’s it…something to do with work.” Lin guessed absentmindedly, biting her lip.

He added tentatively. “We’ve also decided to move in together.”

The way she looked at him now – it was as if she was seeing him for the first time.

“You’re the father.” She stated it so plaintively with a hint of caution.

“That’s the first time you’ve told me that.” Tenzin attempted to downplay the significance of the revelation. “Don’t worry about it – you probably didn’t know you were pregnant back then before –.” He waved a hand around, at a loss for words on how to explain the situation.

“You’re not even questioning it?” Her voice was tight and her posture tense.

“Not at all.”

She finally let tears flow.

 ---

He embraced her, murmuring reassurances that he will be there for her and the child. He will be involved.

But somehow – there was still that gap in her memory. She was missing something crucial, she can feel it - it was about the Air Nation. The gut feel was of hesitation and wariness. What was it about?

She had talked to Aang the previous days and there were no mentions of issues with the Air Nation.

Maybe it had something to do with crime? With her promotion as Chief of Police?

If only her mother were around… Maybe she could help her piece her memory together.

Lin pulled back from the airbender, who suddenly looked at her with apprehension.

“What happens now – what if I don’t remember?” Now that she had part of her memories back – she hated the feeling of uncertainty.

“We’ll take it one day at a time.” Tenzin inched closer to her, gently cupping her face in his hands, wiping her tears. “Just know that you’re never alone.”

The sincerity in his eyes was enough for her. She did not even need to employ her seismic sense to know he was telling the truth.

She closed her eyes as he moved. She felt his lips on her forehead.

The airbender sat back down, a soft smile on his face.

She looked at their entwined fingers.

She will take this chance.

This was for her child. All for their child. And it will be enough.

[purity-town]

Little late getting to these -- that's fully the fault of a class project I spent all of Monday/Tuesday and most of Wednesday working on -- but I finished my project and wrote up some long replies to these!

(Apologies for any funny formatting -- I'm trying out the beta for the new post editor!)

Absolutely not.

Nope! There are a few people who do know (other guides Andrew's met before, the Dryad, and I'd imagine the Witch Doctor knows something's up even if he doesn't know why), but none of them live in Purity Town proper, and the Dryad and Witch Doctor aren't the kind to participate in rumors or spread what isn't theirs to share. The old man is also aware just because he and Andrew have talked about their curses, but he's 1) not currently in town and 2) not going to share even if he were.

Most folks don't know much about Andrew in general; Becca probably knows the most out of the townsfolk, knowing a little bit about his family and where he's from (he has some pretty specific skills as a hunter that betray this, but he doesn't talk about his exact town of birth), but no specifics and certainly not time periods.

Andrew is good at keeping things quiet; he has to be.

I would actually appreciate if you didn't post to Pinterest -- usually I'm fine with people reposting with credit (several of the things I've posted to my DeviantArt have found their way to Instagram, for example) but Pinterest has something of a reputation for stolen art (things being reposted from another Pinterest post without credit this time, or credit being hard to view for users not logged in or just viewing through Google). So reposting elsewhere is fine (though if you repost to Reddit or Instagram, tag me at u/Ariibees or @Ariibees)! I'd just prefer my works stay off of Pinterest.

The terminology related to The Guide/Andrew/The Guardian/The World’s Core/The WoF is all confusing because on some level, they’re all the same being. Kind of like trying to talk about Jekyll and Hyde -- same guy, different looks/actions, haha.

For all intents and purposes, references to the WoF being the barrier/core/whatever behind or within which the spirits of light and dark are contained is equivalent to saying “these spirits are held trapped by the magic of the Guardian, who when summoned appears as the WoF.” I do break slightly from the official lore in how the WoF/Guardian/thing holding back these spirits works (mostly because I don’t really like the idea that the Hallow is a “temporary guardian” or whatever), but the basic concept of “these are trapped by [thing that makes up the WoF]” remains unchanged.

If “loony cultist” is a reference to something, I’m so sorry, but I’m lost on it. If you’re just talking about the lunatic cultist in a funny way, then yes, they’re in here as a very plot-significant character!

I had to google what meme you were talking about, but it did make me laugh.

Andrew’s most annoyed by the nickname because people do like to call him Guide, and for someone who’s dedicated his whole life to his role, it can get tiring. He doesn’t really *mind* being called Guide -- it’s fine, that’s what he is and as long as people are respectful of his job he’ll take what he can get -- but at the same time, he’d like for people to stop thinking “Aah! Monster!” or “Weird academic know-it-all” and just...treat him like a normal person sometimes. So he fights to be called Andrew. And...Malik comes along and gives him a nickname that he doesn’t like and doesn’t allow others to use, save for maybe a small group of people of which Malik is not a part. So, not cool, man!

People love to overcomplicate explaining shading/lighting, and if you wanted to you could certainly go on and on about reflections of light off the ground and shading colors and all sorts of things, but as I’m writing this at 1 AM I don’t really care to.

If you really want to get into shading, I see nice ones on DeviantArt or Tumblr from time to time, or you can always watch a YouTube video on it. Really, though, just keep at it, think about how the shadows should look and work, and you'll get better at it eventually and pick up new ideas on how it all works. (And this is coming from someone who is new to making comics and actually started as a painter.)

Purity Town’s shading comes down to this: simplicity. As much as I’d love to spend hours and hours redrawing the panels I don’t like and carefully shading every fold of fabric and painting detailed backgrounds, I’m a full-time college student and will be working full-time over the summer -- I don’t have the time. So, I cut corners: I reuse backgrounds or use brushes (see: bricks, trees, clouds) that make certain details easier, and I try not to obsess too much over panels I’m not fully happy with. Shadows go where they feel right, and light on the opposite side.

For shading, this comes down to making things quick and easy. For these last few pages, character shading/lighting has only been five layers. One hard light layer for the bluer soft shadows, one overlay layer for darker soft shadows, one linear burn layer for hard shadows, one soft light layer for soft lighting, and one overlay layer for hard lighting. I’ll often also make use of glow dodge layers for lighting, or change the color balance or add more hard/soft light layers if there’s a very heavy color filter on the scene (such as a celestial event, blood moon, or outdoors at night).

Using all the different layer types is essentially a cheat code to fancier lighting -- don’t want to use flat black? Boom, hard light or overlay or burn will give you colored shadows. Want to make your light brighter? Glow dodge will make it burn your retinas.

Sorry that this isn’t a very comprehensive guide, but in my mind, shading and lighting is really something that you pick up over time and it’s hard to sit down and write a guide for it without making it into a massive essay on art theory that I don't even know proper terminology for because I'm not an art student. Of course with some googling you’ll find *proper* guides for this sort of thing from art majors and the likes, and those can be super helpful and technical! But for Purity Town, I just sort of go with what feels right and what's easy to replicate.

Firstly, I’m happy to hear you’re liking the comic!

Secondly, those buttons are actually there due to the theme! (For those on mobile who can’t see it, I have the theme set to only display on desktop as I prefer the current mobile layout on phone.) I’m using the simple webcomic theme (a quick Google should tell you how to install it for yourself) -- except I’m not actually using it for the webcomic features; rather, it’s a case of “this is the most simple, nice-looking non-default theme I could find.”

The previous/next buttons are added by the theme with the intent that the blog is being used as a typical webcomic website, with nothing but comic pages being posted. However, I post asks and other art here too, and I do so with the intent that people looking at #Terraria or their dashboards in general will see it. So...I use html formatting to make the first/previous/next/last links, along with an index and chapter-by-chapter viewing (using /tagged/chapter##/chrono) so that no matter where you’re coming from, you can still navigate just the pages!

If you want to add just the previous/next buttons, I can’t really help you -- web development is not my area of study in the slightest. But you can check out the theme that they come from and if you want to install only them, you can surely find a tutorial on it somewhere!

(As a side note, the comments section is not from the theme, it’s from a site called Disqus. I don’t expect many people, if anyone, to leave comments, but since I link back to this site a lot and many folks don’t have Tumblr accounts, it’s an option I like to make available.)

Hiya! My hike was pretty nice; it was a short and easy one, but that was quite appreciated as the trail is unmaintained from November to April, and the trail was covered in fallen trees and quite rocky. Still had fun, though!

And for backgrounds, it depends! For indoors scenes (or outdoors scenes with buildings) I don’t tend to use references, outside of looking up things like “which side of a door is the handle on.” I will, however, integrate real-life textures (see: the quilt and rug in Guide’s house, the wood walls on the building in the background of this week’s page), and paint over paintings from the Terraria wiki.

For outdoors scenes, for simple backgrounds (such as foliage-heavy) ones, I typically don’t need references. I like the difference between detailed, lined indoor/man-made object scenes vs. painted, messy outdoor scenes. But for things like mountains, I do sometimes look up references to help with color choices and the likes.

The town’s layout is a bit strange in that depending on the scene, the background could be drastically different. One side of town faces more mountainside, one side faces the orchards/open hillside, and the other two sides face various degrees of open space and more mountainside/forest. References taken on top of mountains are helpful to get an idea of what degree of foliage I should include between the characters and the sky.

Though this is very specific to the town of Purity -- other towns/villages will have significantly different-looking backgrounds, even the foliage-heavy ones.

That said, what's even more helpful than looking at photos is looking at paintings. Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron is really good for getting an idea of how to draw grasslands and distant mountains, plus Studio Ghibli movies in general!

[shieldwinter]

Stucky Fic Rec [Part Three]

Part Three of the fic rec coming at you! Sorry for it coming so late in the day - I was finishing up reading a fic that I wanted to add to this part!  I do only add fics that I’ve read, and enjoyed, to this rec so (once again) there will be few, if any, ABO and Shrinkyclink fics!  As always; I will provide the Google Doc link where I update the rec regularly, but if you’d prefer it formatted here on tumblr, it is under the cut! If you want to recommend fics, go for it!

Google Doc Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/10wqr5s-CzkFzLidQgt-y4-cjudHWwVeVPWCedMjK7t0/edit

Don’t Leave Me Asunder

        Word Count: 31.1k         Rating: Teen and Up         Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Veteran!Bucky, Amputee!Bucky         Warnings: None         Synopsis: Like many other war veterans, Bucky Barnes is alone. He doesn't talk to his family, he has no friends and his only human interactions are with his cleaning crew from Avengers Tower. Plagued by nightmares and pain, he lives each day in isolation. Until the Avengers bring their fight at home and Bucky gets to meet the famous Captain America. To his surprise, both their lives change forever after that.

Far Strayed

       Word Count: 18.3k        Rating: Mature        Notable Tags: Post CACW, Pre Infinity War        Warnings: None        Synopsis:  “They’re not going to stop coming after me,” Bucky tells Steve, somewhere in the air above Siberia. “Let them come,” Steve replies, furious still.  After Siberia, instead of seeking refuge in Wakanda, Bucky and Steve go on the run.

All My Chances Again

         Word Count: 20.6k          Rating: Explicit          Notable Tags: Time Travel, Endgame Fix-It          Warnings: Smut          Synopsis: I love him, Steve thinks into the spiraling ether; I love him; let me tell him. Give me the chance to set that one thing right. If I can’t rest for saving him, let me give him all of me and hope that it’s enough. Or; Steve gets lost in the time matrix, and begs for an out. Seems confession is good for the soul—or so he hopes.

I, Barnes 

        Word Count: 76.7k         Rating: Explicit         Notable Tags: Bi!Steve, Bi!Bucky, Period-Typical Homophobia         Warnings: Heavy Smut, Talk of Suicide, Non-Consenual Vouyerism, Panic Attacks          Synopsis: When Steve finally finds Bucky and brings him home to New York, their reunion doesn't go as planned. Bucky disappears into the bowels of the tower, avoiding Steve at all costs. Bucky believes himself to be broken beyond repair, unworthy of any contact with Steve Rogers. But having finally gotten a taste of being around Steve again, Bucky can't just leave - he needs Steve. In ways he believes prove he's a monster unfit to live.

If Steve Rogers Were Your Boyfriend 

          Word Count: 70.2k           Rating: Mature           Notable Tags: Cafe!AU, Barista!Steve, Author!Bucky           Warnings: Abusive Relationship (not Steve and Bucky)            Synopsis: When he's not editing a magazine he truly loathes or navigating a rocky relationship he truly doesn't deserve, Bucky Barnes writes a fantasy romance column with an unexpectedly loyal internet following about the barista at his favorite cafe. Barista Boyfriend makes these other worlds bearable, but the real world dreamboat isn’t remotely involved; Steve Rogers is just a muse. Everyone loves the column. And it definitely isn’t killing Bucky very gently in 500 word increments, not in the slightest. What kind of a writer can't keep fact and fiction straight? James Fuckin' Barnes, that's who.

Love Me Tender

          Word Count: 13.1k           Rating: Teen and Up           Notable Tags: Canon Divergence            Warnings: None           Synopsis: Steve is captured by Hydra, who for lack of any other containment options, activate the Winter Soldier and order the man to "take care of Captain America". They really should have been more specific. - OR: Taking care of Captain America is a task that the Soldier's body seems to remember how to do, even if he doesn't understand why.

Falling Back on Forever 

          Word Count: 24k           Rating: Explicit            Notable Tags: Revenge Road Trip, Identity Porn           Warnings: Smut           Synopsis: Bucky falls from the train in 1945. Steve jumps right after him. The Winter Soldier and the Midnight Patriot are the world's most feared duo, serving HYDRA and leaving a trail of bodies a mile wide behind them. But then they remember.

Wishes and Words

         Word Count: 48.2k          Rating: Explicit          Notable Tags: Fantasy!AU, Prince!Steve          Warnings: Smut, Past Torture          Synopsis: Life is going great until the day Bucky Barnes finds Crown Prince Steven Grant bleeding out on his lands. Then it only gets better.

How Bucky Barnes Won His Second Pulitzer

         Word Count: 11.6k          Rating: General Audience          Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Protective Steve          Warnings: None          Synopsis:  It isn’t like him and Steve go out frequently. Sometimes he’ll stop by Bucky’s apartment and they’ll binge watch tv shows, or Steve will tell him stories from ‘back in the day’. They’ve only gone out in public two or three times and it was merely quick runs to get coffee, or more popcorn.  So Bucky really doesn’t understand where this Hydra asshole is coming from when he says: “The reason we took you is because we know the Captain will come running right into our trap.” (aka: bucky is an award winning journalist who really doesn't appreciate being used as bait for a beefed up, spandex-clad super soldier.)

Maybe This Christmas

          Word Count: 24.8k           Rating: Teen and Up           Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Christmas           Warnings: None           Synopsis: Bucky’s not going home for Christmas. But it’s fine. He’s spending Christmas alone in his apartment, but it’s cool. He’s not feeling up to seeing his family after his accident anyway, plus he has to work. He’s totally fine with it. But then he runs into Steve, literally, and suddenly his Christmas isn’t looking so empty after all.

6 Avenue Local

         Word Count: 10.6k          Rating: Teen and Up          Notable Tags: No Powers!AU, Veteran!Bucky, Graphic Designer!Steve          Warnings: None          Synopsis: It takes a moment for Steve to add up the features on the man in front of him: those blue-grey eyes, a cleft chin, high cheekbones. Sure, he's older, dirtier, taller, but there's only one person Steve knew who looked like that. "Bucky?" he asks. "Bucky Barnes?" It's been so long since he's said that name out loud. "Yeah, I..." Bucky pauses. "Oh fuck," he says. "I missed my stop." Steve smiles. “Wanna get a burger?” he asks, noting the happy coincidence that Bucky Barnes, of all the people in New York, fell asleep in the same subway car that Steve would walk into, and missed his stop. “Sure,” Bucky says with a shrug. “I could eat.”

Kingdom Come

          Word Count: 8.2k           Rating: Teen and Up           Notable Tags: Missions Gone Wrong, Angst w/ Happy Ending           Warnings: Near Death Experience           Synopsis: “It’s too late, Steve,” Bucky’s voice across the comm is flat, layered with static. “The deadlock’s irreversible. S’the only way.” Steve knows what nearly dying feels like; knows it better than most, and this—those words, that voice, this impossible burning that courses through him like the serum in reverse, this. This is so much worse than nearly.

Just Me, You, and These Shitty Cigarettes

        Word Count: 39.8k         Rating: Explicit         Notable Tags: Modern!AU, Veteran!Bucky, Barista!Bucky, Artist!Steve         Warnings: Smut, Dubious Consent         Synopsis: Steve Rogers is pretty sure Natasha's new roommate is trying to kill him. Which he wouldn't mind considering he's been helplessly in love with him since they were thirteen.

Where All Roads Lead

        Word Count: 46.1k         Rating: Explicit         Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Time Travel, Historian!Bucky         Warnings: Smut         Synopsis: When Steve Rogers inadvertently touches a relic in the course of a mission gone sideways during WWII, he’s catapulted seventy years into the future. Before he's even sure where he's ended up, his search for help puts him in contact with Bucky Barnes, a historian and college professor who has built a career around studying Captain America. With Bucky's help, Steve means to find out how exactly he ended up in 2017, and solve the bigger mystery of how to get home. There's just one problem. The closer they get to their goal, the less certain Steve is that he wants to go home.

Énoument

         Word Count: 77.9k          Rating: Mature          Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Meet-Cute          Warnings: Smut          Synopsis: When Steve first met Sergeant James Barnes during the New York invasion, he flipped Steve off for calling him a civilian, then roundhouse kicked an alien in the face. They haven't stopped talking to each other ever since, and Steve thought it was normal for him to latch onto the first person who befriended him after coming out of the ice. Nope, turns out he was just pining.

Closed Book

         Word Count: 38.8k          Rating: Explicit          Notable Tags: Amnesia          Warnings: Smut          Synopsis: Bucky woke up with a headache, a mouth that tasted like something had died in it, and hands-down, swear-to-god, the most beautiful man he had ever seen asleep in his lap. Bucky was also, he realized after a moment, strapped down to a hospital bed with about six different monitors making unsynced, equally piercing, beeps. Beyond that he couldn’t quite see—there was a hideous floral curtain pulled around the bed, and while he could just make out figures moving in the room beyond it, the pattern made his head pound even worse the longer he looked at it. So. That was concerning.