#you could also do what I do and drink all the stimulants and caffeine and just GO

[bonefall]

Could they drink coffee/chew coffee beans for extra energy? If not, is there an alternative? (If my memory is correct, theres a species of cat that eats coffee beans and we use the leftover for super expensive coffee, but idk if its just that cat that can consume it)

You're talking about a Binturong!

But, no, binturongs are called "bear cats" but that's not accurate. These are actually not bears or cats at all, just "feliforms." This guy's closer related to a hyena or a mongoose than to a cat!

Felines are hypercarnivores and massively specialized to be hunters. Binturongs aren't, they're actually generalists! So in spite of being ridiculously removed from bears genetically speaking, they do actually have a lot in common with them behaviorally. They're super chill animals that eat meat, fruit, eggs, insects, whatever.

BUT ANYWAY I'm going off about binturongs because they're one of my favorite weird animals. They're funky, fat, chill dudes who eat figs and it's a huge mood.

Clan cats can't do what binturongs do. (you are not the rong. you are not the rong. I had a bint and now i rong. ur. not bin. turong.)

Coffee beans are a tropical plant, they do not grow in Albion.

Those beans have caffeine and theobromine, which are toxic to cats. It's another one of those odd foods that is easy for us to digest but not them.

For an alternative stimulant, which would act in the same exact way as coffee without being a poison, use Valerian root! Valerian also doubles as a treatment for epilepsy.

[lindasophie]

"Perfect" Night Routine

I find a good night routine can greatly enhance the day and the one to come. However, toxic versions are often shown on social media, which put even more pressure on me personally. So I would like to say here first that it is only tips that can improve your night routine. I also do not implement all of them and think that everyone has to look for themselfs what suits them best and must find their personal routine.

1. Drink a cup of tea

Calming teas: Calming teas consist of naturally calming herbs which help you to rest better in the evening and fall asleep faster. A further advantage of calming teas is that, unlike other sleeping pills or sedatives, they are completely natural Alkaline teas: Alkaline teas are supposed to help with balancing our acid-alkaline balance.The alkaline herbs contained in the tea help neutralize excessive acidity in the body and help flush out toxins and waste products. Ginger teas: Ginger tea in the evening is considered a weight loss tea because it has a metabolism boosting effect. A cup of ginger tea is therefore supposed to kick-start our metabolism overnight and thus help us lose weight. However, ginger tea has a diuretic effect and could therefore cause you to have to go to the toilet more often at night. In addition, it has a warming and anti-inflammatory effect and is therefore particularly popular for colds, coughs and colds, for example. Fruit teas: If you're not looking for an alkaline, metabolism-boosting or calming tea, but simply a tea that tastes good and won't keep you up at night, you can also reach for a simple fruit tea. Unlike the others, this one does not have any special effect, but it still lets you fall asleep normally at night.

Tea is generally considered a healthy drink but it is important that you choose a caffeine-free tea in the evening to save you from long sleepless nights.

2. Journal

Regular journalling helps to better understand and categorize thoughts and feelings. It promotes the focus on one's own self, one's own self-reflection, and on top of that stimulates the ability to concentrate. It can be used as a self-help or complementary therapy aid. It also strengthens our mind when we write down fears or stressful experiences. Writing helps us to pause to regain our inner stability and to leave your worries behind so that we can fall asleep more quickly. but even if it is not about worries but only about the events of the day, it is helpful because you take time for yourself without your phone to reflect on the day.

3. One hour without phone

Your phone emits blue light that inhibits the production of melatonin, which controls your sleep-wake cycle. A melatonin deficiency can cause sleep disorders and fatigue. A disturbed sleep-wake rhythm can make everyday life more difficult and reduce the quality of life. In addition, you get so many sensory impressions through scrolling that you first have to think about. So if you use your phone right before you go to sleep, you can expect to be awake for a while. Logically, you also lose time while scrolling that you could spend sleeping, which makes you more tired and less focused the next day. So it's best to stay away from your phone an hour before you go to sleep and set it to "do not disturb" or silent. because even if you don't use it, notifications will interrupt your deep sleep.

[tossawary]

Rules: Share the first line of ten of your most recent fanfics and then tag ten people. Don't have ten? Not to worry, just share what you have. Tagged by @otakuchan449.

I did all of my fics, which are unsurprisingly all SVSSS, because I was curious as to the patterns. I usually like to name the POV character and illustrate their style of narration in the first paragraph, which is generally humorous, so people know quickly whether or not they're going to vibe with my style. I also like starting in the middle of a situation / inciting incident if possible, so we can hit the ground walking briskly if not running, and get to the good stuff.

23. Shang Houhua - someday unfortunately to be known as Shang Qinghua, once unfortunately known in another life as Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky - came back to himself abruptly. (if words could make wishes - WIP MBJ Time Travel AU from SQH POV)

22. If the System was to be trusted, which it generally was when it came to making Shang Qinghua’s life worse for no good reason, then today was the day! (Stepping Up - 90k Canon Divergence AU, An Ding Disciple LBH)

21. Shen Yuan was conscious when he was reborn, though he didn’t know what was happening at the time, because all he knew at first was pain and golden dust. (Sit With Your Soul - 61k SQQ & SY Daemon Fusion AU)

20. Shang Houhua was thirteen going on, uh, fourteen plus a whole other life that sometimes felt more like a dream than something that had actually happened. (hey, share the weight a little - 70k Canon Divergence AU, YQY/SQH)

19. “Shifu? Forgive the interruption, but there’s a woman here to see you?” (love to the ones I've never met - 83k Fic Companion, Dimension Travel)

18. Jiahui just needs to check that her restaurant hasn’t burned down. (forgiveness for whose sake? - 48k Fic Companion and Epilogue)

17. Luo Binghe knows he isn’t supposed to be doing what he’s doing, but given that he has no other way of getting answers, he does it anyway. (you had me at hello - 5k Non-Canon Fic Extra)

16. “My king, don’t touch that-!” (A Child Once - 101k Canon Divergence AU, Deaged SQH)

15. The world was dark, woven from a black so infinite that it looked flat, and it was full of light. (Catch a Falling Star - 122k Bingliushen Stardust AU)

14. Shang Qinghua woke up having a bad day - forget going through puberty twice, because in this transmigrator’s opinion, having to experience a new round of “first day of school” bullshit year after year was worse - and speed-walking through the Cloud Recesses wasn’t helping him get through it any faster. (Nothing to Me, Nothing to You - 60k Moshang MDZS AU)

13. Mobei-Jun’s search for Shang Qinghua had taken him to many strange places. (dreams that had never come true - 14k MBJ Time Travel AU)

12. It would be a lie to say that Shang Qinghua wasn’t too sure what had happened. (every haircut I've ever had has been a bad haircut - 5k Moshang Hurt/Comfort)

11. The situation was bad. (Babe in the Woods - 19k Canon Divergence AU, MBJ has a baby brother)

10. Shen Qingqiu was perfectly capable of piloting his own ship, but that day, like many others, found Liu Qingge leaning against a column by the hangar entrance, waiting for Shen Qingqiu as he prepared to leave Qing Jing Peak Temple. (this point of pale light - 18k Liushen Star Wars AU)

9. Liu Mingyan was the model of a refined and accomplished cultivator. (but that's fine because I like a hot mess - 3k Mingling Getting Together)

8. Shen Qingqiu had made use of many excuses over the years to avoid the presence of the man who was now his own sect leader, some of which had even been good. (the ability to remain sober and gracious - 4k Canon Divergence AU, Qijiu Xuan Su sword reveal)

7. Shang Qinghua’s head hurt and his eyes were watering and he was beginning, just maybe, to think that creating an experimental stimulant because he missed the non-organic goodness of energy drinks with an unreasonable passion had been a bad idea. (anxiety and caffeine are having a cockfight in my brain - 2k Moshang Hurt/Comfort)

6. The library’s front door flew open so violently that it could be heard even at Shen Yuan’s desk nearer to the back of the main hall, which sat in front of the way to the computer rooms. (Absolutely Ineffable - 10k Good Omens Fusion AU)

5. Once there was a summer in which upon arriving home from university, Shen Yuan was immediately told that he was being sent away to the heart of the country to stay with his distant uncle, whether he liked it or not. (The Red Cabinet - 7k Narnia Fusion AU)

4. It took… Shang Qinghua… a while to figure out that demons actually had horns in this realized version of his sellout stallion web-novel. (Horns - 11k MBJ has sexy horns AU)

3. So, apparently, a portal burning with demonic energy had opened up over Qing Jing Peak and another Shang Qinghua had fallen out of it, and the wound in the sky had unfortunately closed again pretty much immediately. (ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real - 7k Non-Canon Fic Extra, SQH meets AU SQH)

2. So, Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky, the dearly despised and fervently favorited author of Proud Immortal Demon Way, died in a vaguely humiliating fashion… and then he transmigrated. (it must follow, as the night the day - 26k Moshang Role Reversal AU, Demon SQH and Cultivator MBJ)

1. Shang Qinghua has not been having a stellar transmigration experience. (pride is not the word I'm looking for - 400k Canon Divergence AU, LBH's Mother Lives)

This serves as a pretty good round-up of all my currently posted fics! There are far too many in my WIP folders to begin including everything in there.

I've been a little out of touch with reading fanfiction lately, so please, if you wish, take this post as an opportunity to participate in this game and tag me in it! I highly recommend taking a moment to revisit and admire your own fan works! Look at all that cool stuff you did! If you only have WIPs, then I don't mind if you use WIPs. Sometimes our pieces of writing are full, intensely detailed paintings that take years to complete and sometimes they're just rough sketches we do to warmup or have creative fun when we have the time, and sharing both is nice.

And if you don't have your own fan works to pull from, then I'd still love to see a list of opening lines from some of your favorite fics by other people. Any fandom you like! Give me those fic recs! Give me the opening lines of your favorite published novels if there's one you've been itching to gush about.

[drdemonprince]

I know people got angry about the "talking about caffeine like any other drug" thing but I think it's so helpful not just to discuss the arbitrary lines between legal and illegal substances but also for informed consent purposes *with* caffeine itself. For example my use of alcohol has changed drastically since reading Unmasking Autism because I didn't realize I was only able to interact with allistics in the context of relaxed social rules when everybody was drinking. Now that I have that information my decisions around it are much different (basically using alcohol only when I *want* to get the feelings it gives me, and when I have to interact with people using other coping strategies instead).

I can't quit caffeine right now, but I might reduce its use in the future and only use it when I want that caffeinated feeling and not to keep up with work like I do now. Which I didn't even think about before, precisely because even though I rationally knew it was a drug I never thought of it as a "drug-drug".

Yo yessss thank you!!! Informed consent means being fully apprised of the risks and benefits of a substance, and having the freedom to choose when to use it. Currently, very few of us enjoy that level of empowered freedom with just about any substance that we use.

Our doctors don't tell us about all the risks of the drugs we are on (I'm still bitter as hell nobody told me that my muscle development would be stunted by going on hormonal birth control at 18!!! and that it would give me lasting breast growth), and the substances that are not medically prescribed but legal are ones that many of us quaff without thought, and without ever being told the effects of. For instance, did you know prolonged use of Benadryl increases the risk of developing Alzheimers??? I didn't! and i was using that shit to fall asleep and regulate anxiety for a time!!

In the United States in particular there is no open conversation with young people about the potential effects of alcohol, how the drug can act like a mild stimulant in smaller doses but then ricochet into massively depressing effects after hours of use, with an anxiety spike hours beyond that as it leaves the system. We don't talk to people about the effects of caffeine -- and that it's not necessarily normal for so many people to deal with daily gastric issues, trouble falling asleep, trouble sitting still, and intense irritability all day long as presently do.

Some people are just like that, some people have anxiety disorders and benefit from anti-anxiety meds to treat those symptoms, some people find ways of coping with it that involve mindfulness or meditation or whatever else -- but a great number of people who experience these issues are only going through them because they're on caffeine and they're working too hard. And what they've come to believe is an inevitable part of their chemistry is in fact economically and socially created from the outside, and could be prevented if they were only able to stop.

but many of them can't stop. because of capitalism. and so they aren't informed about the real risks & costs of the substances they are using, and they aren't freely able to revoke their (dubious) consent.

meanwhile as someone who only started using weed regularly about a year and a half ago and who is now curious about trying psychedelics, ive been lovingly inundated in helpful tips, usage guides, listings of various strains and their distinct effects, lab results testing doses, etc from the people I know who are passionate about those substances and want to ensure that anybody else using them has a good time.

I don't want to paint these substances with a pollyannaish brush either -- weed can trigger hallucinations and psychotic episodes in some segments of the population, a fact that too many ardent weed heads ignore -- but the difference in the level of control I have over my experience as a weed user and the utter lack of information and self-determination I have when seeking out prescribed meds, or even ingesting caffeine, is unreal.

So many foods covertly contain caffeine or openly are caffeinated yet don't document how many milligrams of the substance it has, for example. It's impossible to safely and responsibly use a substance when you don't even know how much you're getting, and it's bizarre we're all being dosed with stimulants all day long often without even realizing it.

this might seem like a low-importance example, and people will say to me dismissively that caffeine doesn't ruin any lives, but when I look back on how much I've used the substance to further my eating disorder and how many people i've been short and cruel-tempered with over the years because i was downing cups and cups of the stuff all day without reflection, i'm not sure i believe that argument.

but of course all roads in this conversation lead back to capitalism. i wouldnt have been drinking this stuff with abandon if i hadn't been trying to shove three days of work into a single 8 hours, and if my culture and economic system hadn't been foisting the stuff on me from day one.

my uncle says that i was always a deeply anxious kid, i guess it was something that my grandmother fretted about as well, and yet when i decided in my teens to start boosting that anxiety with caffeine every day, and became even more moody and negative, nobody connected the dots, and nobody thought to warn me. and why would they, nobody warned them.

[thesmollestsnek]

I’ve seen a lot of fics n headcanons where Dick Grayson has adhd, and I see you. But also. Consider: Tim Drake having (undiagnosed) adhd. As a certified adhd bitch myself, I have A Lot to say about this, so more under the cut.

Before we get into it, just a quick disclaimer: pretty much all of my dc knowledge is from fandom osmosis, so. If you see something that’s ooc or contradicts canon no you didn’t. Now with that out of the way, on to the main event!

Okay, so! First of all, let’s start at the very beginning. That’s right, I’m talking about Tim Drake’s “night photography”! Now I’m not gonna say neurotypical kids don’t get up to some dumb ass shit when left unsupervised for long periods of time, because they absolutely do. But. The complete disregard for the many, many dangers a young child alone in Gotham at night would face is still notable. And he doesn’t just ignore danger - he runs straight at it. That shows an impressive lack of impulse control, and inability to factor future consequences into current decisions, both of which are hallmarks of adhd. Plus, hyperfixation kinda… changes? How you perceive things. So if Tim was hyperfixated on getting the perfect shot whenever a major crime/fight happened near him, he may not have processed that he was danger at all during the part most likely to scare a neurotypical child away.

Next, we have the coffee. Yes, I know the coffee thing is super overblown by the fandom and not really supported by canon but ssshshhhhhh my world my rules Tim drinks lots of coffee. Now, this one’s kinda obvious, but caffeine is a stimulant and surprise surprise so are most adhd meds. I have seen firsthand how ppl with undiagnosed adhd will mainline caffeine as a form of self medication, whether they’re aware of it or not. Some people use soda or energy drinks, but coffee’s also a really popular choice for this kinda thing. So not only is it completely plausible for someone with undiagnosed adhd to self medicate by drinking a shitton of coffee, it’s extremely common.

Next up! We have the insomnia. Which, again, I think might be played up a lot in fic? But this is my world and you’re reading in it, so. Tim’s an insomniac. This is one of the less well known symptoms of adhd, but again I speak from firsthand experience when I say it’s a big one. Insomnia is extremely common among ppl with adhd, for a couple reasons. One is time blindness, which I’ll come back to in the next point. But also? It’s just really hard to turn your brain off. And if a large portion of Tim’s brain space is being devoted to casework, guess what. That inability to turn one’s brain off will manifest as late night case solving blitzes. Not to mention that hyperfixation, again, changes the way you perceive things. When I hyperfixate on something I often lose hours at a time, and bodily needs like hunger, tiredness, the bathroom, etc aren’t just unimportant they straight up don’t register. With the number of times I’ve come out of a hyperfocus to realize that I have a dehydration headache that’s been brewing for at least an hour, or have completely skipped a major meal, or desperately need to pee, I can 100% believe Tim not noticing any sleep deprivation symptoms until he’s finished whatever he was working on. And I, again, speak from experience when I say that if you happen to hyperfixate at something at the wrong time of night you will be staying up way later than is reasonable. Which brings me to my next point of…

Time blindness! My most favoritist thing in the whole wide world! (/sarcasm) This shit can and absolutely will fuck up your ability to be a functioning human if you let it. Having no internal clock causes more problems than the obvious losing track of time. It means your appetite is sporadic at best and you could very easily forget to eat. It means your sleep schedule has a tendency to just disintegrate if you don’t keep on it. It means being completely dependent on external clocks to know how long things are/should be taking, even for stupid shit like cooking food or brushing your teeth. It means that if you don’t set an alarm for something there is a very real possibility that something isn’t happening no matter how much you want or need it to. In short, it completely fucks up your ability to care for yourself without a lot of external regimented support. Now, who does that remind you of? Which member of the batfamily is known for neglecting his own health? I may not read many comics but the sheer number of “Tim Drake subsists solely on coffee and spite” jokes on ao3 and tumblr is very telling.

His brains. Tim is very, very smart. Have you ever heard the phrase “twice exceptional?” It describes Tim Drake to a t. Plus, I’m living proof of how you can be both smart of brain and dumb of ass. This may be more of a “my family who just so happens to consist entirely of twice exceptional adhd dumbasses” thing than something most ppl with adhd experience, but. You can be really smart and incredible at putting together complex plans, both ahead of time and on the fly, and still have. No common sense whatsoever. Which seems to be a lot of Tim’s characterization: incredibly smart while simultaneously being a complete dumbass. So make of that what you will.

And most compellingly? I think it’s funny. This kid is brothers with Dick Grayson and best friends with Bart Allen and especially next to those two people would never expect Tim to be the one with the quote unquote “cant sit still disorder”. Yknow what? Let’s take this a step further. Let’s make Bart autistic. (I don’t know enough about the flash family to say how accurate this is but for the sake of the joke let’s say he is). People see Impulse standing next to Red Robin and they think they know which one is adhd and which is autistic and they are Wrong. Tim n Bart are Completely unaware of this but the rest of their team finds it hilarious. There’s probably at least one running joke about it.

[obihiro-division]

Veiled Vanguard Drama Track 1 - Bare to the World

Part 1

Chaos is swirling all around Hisoka Tetsuma, his ears ringing loudly from whatever gun had fired within the warehouse. Like a avalanche, more and more bodies started to fall around his legs screaming for help, salvation from the monster let loose upon the poor unsuspecting men. Whipping his head around he sees his twin brother, running towards him in a silent scream before a shadow looms over the two of them.

And right before he wakes up, Hisoka watches his brother get speared by one clawed hand.

【 Spur Stud Ranch, Hisoka’s Living Quarters 】

Jolting awake, Hisoka flails his blankets off his body as if he were trying to escape his own nightmares into the physical world. Drenched in sweat, the man gasps and clenches at his torso to make sure his body is intact. It takes awhile, but eventually the man calms down enough to slump his body back down in his bed letting his breathing even out.

It has been nearly two years since the incident yet his mind can’t seem to let him move on. In his dreams and even in his waking life, the image of his twin brother Haruto haunts him. Hisoka knew that he needed to give it time. But no matter how much his few supports had repeated those comforting words, it never eased him in the slightest.

Seeing that there was no point in trying to force himself to go back to sleep, the man went about to start his day. Cleaning himself, greeting the other early morning workers, then getting to his favorite part of his job: Taking care of the horses. That is, when he isn’t cleaning up their stalls or mixing their feed, and instead taking the time to groom and ride the horses…

【 Spur Stud Main Barn 】

Checking into the main barn’s lounge, he goes to start a pot of coffee for the more caffeine addicted workers that have yet to arrive. Seeing that he also would probably need the stimulation to stay awake for the day, he made sure to get his biggest thermos so that he could stay wired for the day.

Ken Otake: Hey, Tetsumasu!

Nearly dropping his drink in surprise, Hisoka whips around to stare at the barn manager in alarm.

Ken Otake: Oh, sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you. You have a package.

Hisoka: P-Pack…?

The man’s voice cracks, not that his manager seemed to pay any mind. He hands the large box over to Hisoka, scratching his head seemingly in equal parts confused about the package’s origins and contents. 

Ken Otake: This thing’s pretty heavy! It says its from the capital… You got like a sister over there? Or maybe even a girlfriend?

The comments alone was making Hisoka sweat, but the implication of it being from a significant other got a blush out of him.

Hisoka: N-No! I mean… It’s probably just my uh, ma! That’s probably it…

It seemed that Otake wanted to pry into the matter further and tease Hisoka. The man was quick to dodge any further comments both literally and figuratively, as he patted the manager awkwardly and spoke in a more confidant tone.

Hisoka: Thanks for delivering it to me Otake-san. I’m just gonna drop it off… I-In my room.

That was a partial lie that unfortunately slipped towards the end of his statement in stutters. But it was enough to get him out of the main barn and make his way back in the direction of his living quarters. Instead of going to the employee’s residential building however, Hisoka made a hard turn to go to one of the abandoned barns further out the on property. The walk would be long and it might bring suspicion to what he was doing, but his imagination was going wild about the package and what its contents could be. What if this is a GPS tracker? What if this is a bomb? What if this is the head of some random guy who he might have known?

By the time Hisoka had snuck into the barn through a giant hole in the wall (the door was rusted shut), he carefully set the package down in the middle of the dilapidated building and walked back slowly. When all was silent, he let out a surprisingly shrill scream for someone with a baritone voice.

Hisoka: THEY FOUND ME, FUCK!

Starting to pace around the barn, Hisoka began to rant.

Hisoka: I thought I covered my tracks? Fuck, I knew I should have started to go under a fake name. But I panicked! I panicked because I was scared. Toshiko-san was right, I was bound to get found by some pissed off gangster sooner or later!

With a one, two stomp, he points at the box in an accusatory tone.

Hisoka: Why now?! Why the hell did this have to appear right when I was getting comfortable in my new life?!

And in an exhausted sigh, the man falls to his knees not caring about the dirt and bugs that scattered around him.

Hisoka: Do I really have to live my life on the run? That… That was the last thing I wanted to do. I worked so hard to get here… How could I have ruined it?

Letting his hands massage his temples, his temper starts to mellow out. And with that, Hisoka is overcome with curiosity. Considering Chuohku had made an effort to send this package, he might as well check out the contents, right? If this was some sort of trap, he might as well accept fate.

Reaching towards the package, the man tentatively tore the packing tape off to gently lift the flaps open. But right as he was about to look inside, the sound of the barn’s rusted doors rattling startled Hisoka. His yellow eyes stared at the doors, watching, waiting for the sound of someone to try at the doors again. Internally, Hisoka’s brain was already going a mile a minute. It’s the cops, here to detain him now that their bomb failed to detonate! …Or something even more ridiculous. These thoughts were overwhelming his mind, distracting from the shadow that loomed above him before it was too late.

Hisoka: …SHIT!

In a shout, the red head whips around to strike the stranger only to stumble in his crouched position. As he scrambles to stand properly, to fight back against his assailant, Hisoka is pushed onto his back instead. Straddled by a green haired man, dressed in the fanciest suit Hisoka has probably seen in his life, Hisoka struggles to take a swing at him. Only the man pins each arm one by one, before leaning down to stare down at Hisoka with cold purple eyes.

Jack: …That’s no way to greet a guest, Mr. Tetsumasu.

To be continued…

[eroaneki]

I'm still so scared by what happened to me earlier this month. I feel like I had a legit mental breakdown. I still feel extremely raw and vulnerable and constantly on the edge of a panic attack, but I think that's more so because I'm afraid of not being able to control how I feel. Like that I feel completely out of control.

I literally triggered myself into a mental breakdown by drinking cold brew on an empty stomach. Like out of fucking no where had a massive injection of liquid caffeine directly into my bloodstream. And I was also coming off of weed. And it was... 3 days before my period. I think all of that combined with is what really sent me over the edge. I'm usually smarter about tapering myself off but I also have never had a 7 month period where I used daily. I think my longest has been like 2 months in the past. This has been basically daily use since like, January.

I've taken half of a 5mg edible twice in the last like 3 weeks because honestly I'm so fucking spooked I'm gonna end up going insane or something. I know it's unlikely. But man I miss the creativity weed gives me. My head isn't as loud anymore and quite honestly I feel "normal" I guess. Whatever my normal was when I was using daily. So I guess that means I've leveled out? But my heart keeps skipping throughout the day and it freaks me out and I hate it and I've already had everything ruled out by the cardiologist so it just is what it is I guess. I'm fine according to them.

Idk existence is scary as fuck. But I guess you have to have bigger balls than life and that's how you win. Just growing those balls into a massive force takes so much time and effort and "do it scared" mentality. I understand why people scream when they do things that scares them. It pushes them forward. Gives them the strength to do it.

Also side note, I hate adrenaline? I run so high in the morning and I know it's my body trying to wake me up but could you not? Can you be more gentle about it? Also life without coffee is fucking ROUGH. My heart pounds too fast when I drink it and quite honestly I don't need the extra stimulation in the morning so I've switched to tea, but occasionally I'll pour myself like 2-4 oz of coffee and sip slowly on that. Usually on the days I'm home.

God I feel like I have no idea how to survive as a person sometimes. I just feel like I'm walking blind. It sucks. Really badly. But I'm okay for the most part now. I still get a little shaky driving but again, I just think I'm scared I'm gonna freak out again while driving. I'm so scared of what happened to me that I'm trying every which way I can to avoid it happening again. It's rough. Rough rough rough but for the most part I'm fine.

My outlook is mostly positive and I feel more of my piss and vinegar self coming back, which is nice. But yeah. Still definitely licking my wounds and a little worried about my period coming up this month. But I have my emergency lavender and Xanax and sweet smelling body scrubs and ice pack and everything else I use to help calm anxiety lol

I also have a really good support group and I started therapy, though I did have to cancel my appointment for tomorrow because my new insurance doesn't kick in until 8/1. Annoying but I know it's not the end of me ever going to therapy ever again. Just have to wait probably another week 🙃

[inniezinnie]

Middle Aged and Retired Haikavehtham 👴💚💛👴

In which they reach the golden age of 60 and coexist. Because yes.

True to his character, Alhaitham will be the first to retire (right on the day of his 60th birthday of course, going out with golden grace). He'd then be spending his time at home reading more books and newspapers, taking care of plants, and feeding the neighborhood cats.

Kaveh retires at 64 years old from both being an architect and guest lecturer, deciding to finally take a break after seeing how Alhaitham enjoyed his. He has finally found peace with himself by then, and feels accomplished enough to "let go" (hurray!!!).

Also he settled all his debts by 40, if you're wondering. They're still living together though - with the biggest savings accounts each imaginable (of Sumeru). This is a secret, of course.

Now at the great ages of 64 and 62, they're always at home and have nothing to do.

Uh oh.

Sure, they do not bicker as much as they did before, and are living with each other with undisturbed peace, but it does get boring most of the time. They don't find each other boring, no. They're just bothered by not doing anything productive enough to stimulate their brains.

Things only get worse when they find out that Puspa Cafe has closed down!!! The manager has retired and no youngsters wanted to take over. NOOOOO.

Which is why one day, Kaveh proposes the wonderful idea--

"Hayi, why don't we purchase Puspa Cafe and run it as its owners?"

"Hm, that'd be.. interesting," said Alhaitham, taking it into consideration.

"We can also turn it into a book cafe!" Kaveh exclaimed, clapping his hands together with zeal. Despite his age, the wrinkles on his face has only made him more beautiful and endearing in Alhaitham's eyes. How they crease up sheer joy sends shockwaves through his heart. He'd never refuse his sweetest beloved. And how could he turn down the idea of books?

"I don't see a reason why we shouldn't, dearest."

And with that, there's a revived cafe in Sumeru, drawing in crowds of bookworms and caffeine nerds. Tea jammers hang out too, don't worry.

And not to mention -- Kaveh has thoughtfully incorporated the cafe's old design with a new, trendy style to pay tribute to the cafe they once frequented, and also to attract the youth (hype culture ammirite) simultaneously. Alhaitham contributes to the creation by naming it "Puspa Book Cafe" (good try, Alhaitham. Very... creative). They both also sell one of the best brews in town and sometimes create new recipes. It's no wonder why the crowd only grows.

The children love the hot cocoa.

The scholars love the coffee and academic advice.

The adults love a drink while they relax, escaping from the enslavement of their work-lives.

The elderly love the tea. (Mmhm)

As much as their interests remains in winding down and warm drinks, one thing they share in common is their interest in Alhaitham and Kaveh's relationship.

Here's how a generic conversation would go:

"Say, how long have you two been together?" Someone would ask, as curious ears perk up, feeding on the gossip (and baklavas).

"About 40 years or more!" Kaveh would reply gleefully.

"40 years? That's a strong marriage!" Someone would comment, pressing on the topic further.

"We're not married," they would both state in sync as a matter-of-factly.

"But we do have a relationship," Kaveh would add, in a vain attempt to lessen the doubtful stares.

It's true though, they're not married - don't be fooled by the rings.

According to them, being with each other is better than marriage - why do you need a contract if you have established mutual love and trust? That's what they both agreed on in their thirties after settling their differences. And also settling down, duh.

They announced their union over a family dinner with Tighnari, Cyno, Collei and Faranak one day, showing the rings they made each other.

"What a joyous union. How marry!" Cyno joked, only to be left with a deafening silence. "Get i-"

"So, when's the wedding?" Tighnari interjected, eyebrows raised.

"There's no wedding," they both said, words synchronised. There was another silence, but it was more comfortable and understanding.

Faranak, Kaveh's dear mother, was confused back then, but respected their decision. She passed on, never attending their wedding (which they'll never have), but knowing that her dearest son has found someone to spend his life with, just as she had once upon a time.

Now, back to the present, business is running great, and nearly everyone and their cats have heard of the revived cafe. And it finally occurs to them that they should commemorate their 30th union anniversary by giving out free food and beverages.

They have all the time and money, so why not?

That anniversary event will soon find its way to become an annual tradition.

Bonus: they also donate to charities and projects anonymously. They still argue on the message boards, but Alhaitham often leaves love poems. In return, Kaveh gifts him with all the affection he needs at home (they love cuddling). Do you think Kaveh would pick up knitting and Alhaitham will write a book?

[luesmainblog]

Alright ADHD tumblr, help me out

I haven't been officially diagnosed yet for a number of reasons, but my therapist strongly suspects I have ADHD, and even if I don't I'm aware that those with ADHD have similar struggles with what I call "flip brain", i.e. stimulants and depressants not working the way they're expected to. I will be speaking to a doctor when I'm able to and I'm not looking to take tumblr replies as gospel, but I am getting very confused and a little scared, and it's going to be a while before I can see a professional besides my therapist. So, I'm hoping somebody here will have a similar experience and be able to point my in the right direction, so I can at least stop worrying so much.

I've been testing my flip brain situation for a few years now by guinea pigging myself against different sources of caffeine. What i've found thus far is this:

Chocolate, especially dark chocolate, removes the brain fog and generally makes it easier to think and complete tasks.

Hot Cocoa evens me out emotionally, but has little to no effect on my awakeness.

Chocolate-covered espresso beans(the ones you eat) perk me up.

Soft Drinks, especially coke, perk me up and even give me a bit of Zoomies™ if I've had too much at once.

I've only had one energy drink in my life(BNHA "one for all" drink from hot topic) and it didn't really do anything to me.

Tea doesn't really do anything to me, whether it's hot, cold, normal or sweet. I get a little perk from boba and ice tea, but I think that's the novelty + cold waking me up more than anything else. My dad makes big pitchers of sun tea every summer, so if it had an effect, i'd have noticed by now.

Coffee knocks me out. It's a worse tranq than melatonin. It is my go-to sleepy drug.

The store-bought cold bottle version of the starbucks Pink Drink made me sleepy in two sips, but after it had been in the fridge for a while, I didn't really notice an effect when I drank it again.

I've been too scared to try just straight caffeine pills and see what effect they have, but I plan to do so this weekend just to have a baseline. Although that's also going to suck because at this point I kind of rely on chocolate as a brain stabilizer.

All of that background out of the way, I recently hit a wrench in my theory. I decided to try decaf coffee, because I actually really love coffee, and I thought it'd be nice if I could have it without falling asleep. But low and behold, only about 2-3 shots worth of that coffee, and despite it having as little caffeine as possible, it still knocked me near-unconscious. I tried looking into whether this might be an allergy issue, but I consider "sleepy" and "tired" to be two very different things, and besides that I don't experience any other symptom that would suggest an allergy. I am extremely stumped.

has anyone else had this experience? if you talked to a doctor about it, did you figure out what was causing it? If there's something I should ask my doctor about besides caffeine, I'd really like to know beforehand.

extra/possibly relevant info: i'm very bad at maintaining vitamin b12 and d3, and my brain becomes significantly more functional during my menstruel cycle, even if i'm not eating chocolate that week. Again, if this is triggering any "oh shit I've been there", please let me know!

Will update as needed.

[bookofbolden]

TIMING: Current LOCATION: A Latte to Love PARTIES: Teagan ( @closingwaters ) & Eleanor SUMMARY: Upon a chance encounter at a beloved coffee shop, Eleanor's curiosity gets the best of her and lands her in hot water with an emotionally charged Teagan. WARNINGS: Brief mention of past physical violence, mention of parental death, vomiting

Eleanor was proud of the progress she’d made when it came to getting out of her apartment more and getting acquainted with Wicked’s Rest. While she didn’t go out of her way to socialize with anyone she might cross paths with and avoided heavily populated areas to the best of her ability, it was still a far cry from her tendency to remain within the same four walls day in and day out, either drowning herself in work or simply trying to find something to do that would keep her from going insane, or at the very least slow the process. A Latte to Love had quickly become one of her favorite stops along her route mostly because of the amazing drinks, but also because she enjoyed the familiarity of the coffee shop vibe - she’d found that she could relax there even though it tended to be crowded.

This particular day Eleanor had grown tired of staring at the same view while trying to find inspiration for her writing, so she packed up her laptop and notes and headed out to her favorite place in search of caffeine and a new, more stimulating scene. She’d set up shop near the back at a table that had been tucked into a corner so that she wouldn’t disturb anyone and hopefully no one would disturb her, placed her headphones over her ears, and got to work immediately. She was so focused on her laptop that it took a moment for her to register that someone had come to stand in front of her.

“I’m sorry, did you say something?” She pulled the headphones from her head and frowned, looking up at the woman in confusion. “I didn’t take your spot, did I? I’m sorry, it didn’t look as though anyone was sitting here when I came in.” When their eyes met Eleanor was hit with a feeling of anger so strong that she recoiled and quickly looked away. “But I can move if you want me to, I don’t mind.” She added hastily, believing that the woman’s anger had been in response to the taken seat.

In the days since Arden had spoken some sense into her girlfriend, Teagan had spent most of her time inside. Whether it was knitting or crocheting or some weird activity called yoga, everything took place away from the outside world. It was pathetic, of that, Teagan was sure of, but what could she do? The anger and fear was crippling most moments, and putting on a mask was hard enough in front of Arden. Still, the nix knew she had to try. She wasn’t alone anymore, and she had people’s worries to consider, so she ventured out of the Worm Row apartment and trekked to a nearby coffee shop. 

Business was buzzing, like a hive filled with hundreds of worker bees, but all Teagan saw were people going about their day. They were fully caffeinated and ready to take on whatever the day brought. This wasn’t something she completely understood, feeling the surge of potent energy from her drink in just the first few sips. It made her emotions feel worse, like she was a ticking time bomb and she lit the fuse with the tip of her cup. She was struggling to find a seat, anger sparking as it piled on top of the mountain that had been building since the attack. 

“Hm?” She whipped her head around to face a woman that was not hard on the eyes by any means. “Oh.” Clearing her throat, Teagan blinked a few times before managing an actual sentence with a bright smile and even brighter heterochromic eyes. A stark contrast to what she felt inside. “Oh dearie, you ain’t doin’ me in. Ain’t mingin’ either.” Her welsh side pounced, likely too confusing for a stranger. “In other words, stay in that seat. I’m comfortable in this one right here.” She sat down at the table next to her possible new friend, propping her chin on her hand. “I’m Teagan.” A grin, followed by a sip. “And you, lovely?”

The corner of Eleanor’s mouth turned up into a grin at the sound of the woman’s accent and momentarily distracted her from the onslaught of anger that poured from her. Although the stranger’s bright smile would have been enough to disguise her true feelings from anyone else, Eleanor knew better. 

“Teagan… I believe we may have already spoken to one another the other day when you were inviting people out for a night swim. Sorry I had to decline, it just didn’t seem like the kind of thing I would have had much fun participating in.” There’s also the fact that I don't know you, Eleanor wanted to add but kept it to herself. “I’m Eleanor, it’s a pleasure to meet you in person.” She took in Teagan’s relaxed posture and decided that the anger wasn't directed towards her… So what could it be? “How are you? Most importantly, how’s your coffee? I come in often and everytime they make my drink just right. This is one of my favorite places to come now, not that I’ve really had much time to go around and discover too many other shops around here, but still, I’m partial to this place.” She had to bite her lip to stop herself from asking too many questions that may lead to Teagan either becoming uncomfortable or suspicious - the last thing Eleanor wanted was for someone else to think she was strange. 

“You’re very pretty.” She blurted out and cursed herself for it. That wasn’t the sort of thing people said whenever they’d just introduced themselves to someone new, was it?

Eleanor. The name lit Teagan’s face with familiarity, her smile curling further. She rambled similarly to Arden, though her tongue seemed motivated more by nerves than by sheer desire to share the newly attained knowledge. Teagan didn’t mind, and she listened intently, welcoming the bit of distraction. “Well, well, it looks like our paths were intended to cross.” Raising her glass as a toast, Teagan giggled and took another drink, appreciating the flavor a little more as she let it sit on her tastebuds for a few beats. 

“No harm, no foul. Maybe now that we’ve met, you’ll be a little more inclined to attend next time.” Eyes watched Eleanor over the tipped cup, and Teagan licked her lips to rid them of the residual latte foam. “Since, you know,” Her brows bounced playfully, “You think I’m very pretty.” The energy in the room grew lighter with the tease, even easing whatever anger and fear that was deeply stored inside Teagan. It was less twisted and tightly coiled, making it much easier to breathe and relax her whole body with a prolonged sigh. 

“But to answer your question before, in your adorable ramble about how great this place is, I’m doing as well as I can be. It’s a beautiful day to meet beautiful women.” A pause, “That means you, if that wasn’t clear.”

“Fate, right?” Eleanor asked casually and took a sip of her own coffee. “Maybe, if you’re willing to invite me out during daylight hours. I’m typically not out much after nightfall considering some things going on recently. I suppose you could say that I’m a bit of an old lady when it comes to that.” Her face turned bright red and she looked down at her laptop, embarrassment flooding through her and momentarily blocking out Teagan’s own anger. “I… well…” At a loss for words she just nodded and attempted a shaky smile. She was surprised by the other woman’s sudden and unexpected change in mood - she still had unexplained anger and fear, but instead of a crushing wave that drowned Eleanor, it had become more of a persistent nagging in the back of her mind.

Rambling. Again. She had to stop doing that. “I think I’m starting to become known for my rambling, it’s really just an unfortunate accident most of the time. I have a friend who swears they don’t mind it but I know that it can be annoying sometimes. Yes, that was very clear, thank you.” Eleanor couldn’t stop the second blush that crept up her neck, or the guilt that accompanied it. How could she sit there on the verge of flirting while her girlfriend was somewhere trapped and alone? It left her with a sick feeling in her stomach, but Teagan’s presence interested her in a way that made her want to know more out of pure curiosity. Why was this seemingly bubbly, outgoing woman seething beneath the surface?

“Have you been in Wicked’s Rest long? I would say that I don’t recall ever seeing you around, but that doesn’t really mean much when it’s coming from someone who just recently started going to get her own groceries instead of having them delivered to her front door.” Needing something to do with her hands, Eleanor started to doodle idly along the margins of her notes as she spoke, “By the way, I meant what I said online: you should be careful when inviting strangers places, you seem like a very nice person and nice people tend to be taken advantage of.”

Teagan’s eyes narrowed and her head tilted at the mention of Fate. Her skin didn’t flutter, which meant Eleanor couldn’t be fae, so what could she be implying? If anything at all, really. Anxiety and fear ticked up, tugging Teagan’s chest uncomfortably as her mind began to run down the possibilities. Hunter, being the most tossed around. She fidgeted in her seat uncomfortably, doing all she could to keep her composure. Keep the mask in its place. “Right.” The nix nodded with her smile renewed and refreshed. “Fate.”

Returning to her drink, Teagan spun her mother’s ring on her finger, brow rising at the thank you. She couldn’t help herself, excitement rolling in her belly enough to release the stretch on her chest. “Your gratitude is taken and appreciated.” She smiled coyly, rolling her lips over her teeth. Nothing like taking a favor right under someone’s nose. Teagan licked her lips, continuing to grin. It was warm and inviting, turning humorous with a chortle escaping her. Whatever coffee she had in her mouth was spit back out, almost clearing up her nose at Eleanor’s horribly timed joke. A nix having to be careful of the humans she invites to drown in the lake? Fates, the woman didn’t know, but still. It was ridiculous to think Teagan couldn’t handle herself. 

“I don’t know about you, lass, but I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Me? In danger at the lake at night?” She scoffed, “I’ve been in Wicked’s Rest long enough to know what goes bump in the night, and believe me,” Teagan leaned forward, a fog coating her eyes as her tone grew serious. “I could just as easily be one of those people. Have faced plenty and have survived this long, and I don’t get taken advantage of.” The image of the hunter who maimed her sent a sharp pain through her chest, causing her to inhale sharply and desperately try to return her smile. It worked, for the most part. She wanted to move on. “But what about you? Born and raised here or just dumb enough like the rest of us to make the move?”

Eleanor couldn’t stop herself from gazing at Teagan with a distant, confused expression at yet another sharp change in emotions. The woman was a rollercoaster that would leave the poor empath exhausted by the end of their interaction. “Did I offend you?” She asked in a low voice, going over her previous words and finding nothing she thought could be taken out of context. But still, if she’d been offensive she would want the chance to properly apologize for it. “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry. See what I mean by rambling being an unfortunate accident? Half of the time I don’t even register what I’m saying, it just tumbles out.”

She followed the other woman’s lead and leaned closer as she hung to every word. Not only was her accident intoxicating, but there was something behind the words that she wanted to uncover. The way she spoke was almost hinting at something, but Eleanor wasn’t quite sure what that something could be. Deciding that she couldn’t possibly sound more ridiculous than she already had, she responded, “It seems like you want me to read between the lines, for lack of better words, but I don’t want to assume anything else about you - you seemed to get quite the kick out of me suggesting that you might not be safe around strangers at night in the lake. So,” she took a deep breath to calm her nerves, “Are you the thing that goes bump in the night? Or are we speaking hypothetically?” She glanced at the ring Teagan spun on her finger for a quick moment. “That’s a beautiful ring, were you given it by someone special?”

Eleanor smiled and shrugged. “I suppose you could call me dumb. I moved here just shy of a month ago. I heard about this place and how it may have others… that could relate to me, so I made the move on a whim. I may have gotten myself into something I wasn’t quite ready for, though. I’m originally from New York, but I’ve lived in Maine for about two years. Anyhow, I’ve been trying to place your lovely accent - where are you from and how did you end up in this strange town?”

There was definitely something off with this Eleanor woman. With every internal shift that the fae had, she commented on it. She wasn’t fooled, somehow, by the smile Teagan had practiced to perfect since the tragedy. Her head tilted and her eyes narrowed suspiciously, irritation on the brink of spilling. She needed answers, but being in public gave Teagan limitations. The likes of which prevented her from letting her glamour fall to terrify and interrogate Eleanor. “How are you doing that?” The question was pointed, bluntly so. There was no use in beating around the subject. If the reading was some sort of magic, Teagan was sure Eleanor would understand what the nix was getting at.

“‘Fraid we’re focusing on you now, lass.” The thank you from earlier danced around in her head, wondering if that was the right moment to use it. She breathed, waiting like a viper ready to strike, but her venom quickly receded at just how inquisitive Eleanor was. Teagan understood then why Arden enjoyed talking to her and didn’t want her being drowned. They had like minds, poetic and curious, with the unique skill of dissecting words and finding what they truly meant. It was almost endearing enough to convince Teagan to let go of her building frustration. Almost. She looked at her ring, curling her hand into a fist so tight that she shook. Images of Catrin flashed behind her eyes. Her pale face, her stillness, her last moments. The look she gave her daughter through a crack on the door. It was apologetic and mournful, reflecting the very same expression on a ten-year-old Teagan. It was the worst day of her life, her body tensing with the pain and her mind reeling from the macabre film. 

Her distress quickly gave way to anger, impossible to ignore or halt. How sad, really. Eleanor was a wonderful conversationalist, even with her ramblings, but it was time for the questions to stop. From her. “If you must know,” Teagan gritted her teeth, looking down at her cup to avoid Eleanor’s sweet face. “I’m from Wales. And I was intrigued like you. Only,” Her eye twitched with tears threatening to fall, and she finally looked back up, gaze wide with the agony of trying to stop the wave of emotions from drowning herself and everyone in the room. It was the one body she couldn’t swim. “I’ve been in the states since I was ten. But…” She leaned forward, ensuring Eleanor was looking at her. “I don’t want to talk about me. I want to talk about you.” Standing suddenly from her seat, Teagan moved to Eleanor’s table, eyes intense and hand on the knife on her hip. “I’m using that gratitude on you right now, okay? So tell me, are you playing a game? Are you a hunter that gets off on torturing their prey mentally before going in for the attack? What is it? Explain yourself honestly.”

How are you doing that? It was a question Eleanor had long since become familiar with and had heard many times over the years. From foster parents to teachers, she had always had the ability to get under people's skin simply by reacting to what they were feeling. She had never meant to hurt or annoy anyone, it was just something she couldn’t help. Feeling years of shame and regret come crashing down onto her shoulders, she looked down at the table and shrugged. “I’ve always been able to, I feel what others feel. Almost everyone, anyway.” 

Eleanor knew immediately that she’d made a mistake in mentioning the woman’s ring - if Teagan’s physical reaction hadn’t been enough to display it, the feelings of pain and mourning that shot from her was hard to miss. She took in a sharp breath and clutched at the table while her head spun out of control. She didn’t like being around this woman, the sudden and exaggerated mood swings made her stomach churn and her head swim. What had happened to Teagan to make her so unstable? “I’m sorry, I didn’t… I shouldn’t have commented on it.” But she’d already opened her mouth and couldn’t take it back, that much was evident in the anger that filled the space between them. Eleanor caught a brief mention of Wales, of Teagan having moved to the States when she was ten, then the other woman was standing, her hand gripping something just out of sight, and terror filled Eleanor so completely that she knew that she wasn’t being influenced, it was her own genuine fear.

“Hunter? No. There’s hunters? I’m just Eleanor, just someone they call an empath around here. I’m not going to attack you, I don’t want to attack you, I just wanted to know more about you. I’m curious about nearly everyone in this town.” Had she imagined it or had there been some kind of unseen force that made the words jump from her lips? While she wouldn’t have lied to Teagan either way Eleanor had a distant, subconscious feeling that the words that had left her had been more in response to some unspoken command than a normal answer to a question. Her eyes once again landed on the woman’s hand as it wrapped around what looked vaguely like the handle of a knife and panic filled her again. “I’m not going to hurt you, I promise I’m not. I wouldn’t know how even if I’d planned to. I’m just here writing my book and drinking coffee like I do nearly every day.” Her voice cracked and she wished that she could have sounded braver and less shaken by the situation at hand but she had to be honest with herself, she’d never once imagined coming face-to-face with a potentially dangerous stranger who thought she was lying about her identity.

She’d made a mistake. Eleanor was an empath, and nothing more. Anger bled into shame and regret when the human began to promise. She began to believe she truly was rot, and now she’d gone and infected sweet and innocent Eleanor. Could this be fixed? Or was she now stuck with the pain that no one else but Teagan was supposed to bear? She thought she already knew the answer, and it made her vision swim and her stomach tighten. “I’m sorry,” Her apology was quick and quiet, her legs stumbling to leave the table.

The world grew shaky, the colors twisting and details of the surroundings growing lost in a dense fog. The puzzle pieces in Teagan’s mind refused to fit, leaving her wandering in the labyrinth of her sharply changing emotions. “I’m sorry.” She whispered again, lips wet with her tears. Her lungs provided no air, but Teagan was determined to release Eleanor from her suffering, making a beeline for the door. 

Her hands crashed into the handle, shoving the exit open harshly. The bell attached to it bounced with more force than necessary, hitting the glass of the door hard enough to crack it. Whatever, it didn’t matter. Teagan whipped her head from side to side, looking for a direction to run. Was Arden close? Was she home? She supposed she was about to find out. 

Eleanor’s feelings of fear melted the moment she saw the regret in Teagan’s watery eyes. “It’s alright, I should be apologizing too because I shouldn’t have been so insensitive, that was very rude of me.” She wanted to make things right and get back to the brief yet decent conversation they’d been having before it had taken such a wrong turn. What had happened?

“Really, it’s alright.” But Teagan had already abandoned her post and ran toward the exit. Eleanor sat back in her chair and stared at the space the woman had vacated for a long moment as the electrified space calmed. Once she completely felt like herself again she hurriedly packed up her things and followed Teagan out the door and hoped that she hadn’t gotten too far down the road. Luckily, the moment she stepped out into the fresh air she spotted the frantic woman and tried her best to calmly approach her, not wanting to add anymore fuel to the fire.

“Teagan, hi.” Eleanor made sure that her voice was soft as she spoke, “I’m so sorry for coming across the wrong way, I shouldn’t have asked so many questions like that, I was just interested in your story and where you come from and it got out of hand. Are you alright? Can I get you anything?” It only felt right that she offered to help out in any way she could since she saw the entire situation had been caused due to her curiosity. “I understand if you just want to leave though and I don’t blame you in any way. But, if you don’t have a ride I’d be more than willing to give you a lift. But again, you don’t have to accept. I just wanted to let you know that I’m very, very sorry.”

How long had she been standing there? Teagan looked around, her panting growing stronger when she noticed all the eyes. “What?” Her body jolted at the sound of Eleanor’s voice speaking her name, and she backed away into the shop’s building. She could feel her heart hammering in her chest, the only sound she could hear besides the high-pitched note cutting through.

“N-no. I’m-I…M’fine.” An obvious lie. Teagan wrenched over, gagging on the falsity of her words. For a few moments, all she could do was expel the contents of her stomach. Which was really only the coffee. Consuming much else had proven difficult, her appetite all but gone. 

“Just leave me alone.” Exhaustion coated the nix’s eyes as she met with Eleanor’s eyeline. “Don’t come near me. I’ll hurt you.” Choking on her words, she shoved past a man who attempted to ask if she was okay. The answer was blatantly obvious, and Teagan was surprised when he didn’t retaliate, quickly focusing on Eleanor instead. Good, she thought. She deserved it, not Teagan. Without another moment of hesitation, she quickly made her escape, not stopping until she made it back to Arden’s apartment. 

[jeanjauthor]

I literally--literally--get a better "high" off of eating corn chips.

No, I'm not bullshitting you.

When you eat corn, during the digestion process, your body naturally produces tiny amounts of THC, the "active ingredient" in marijuana / cannabis.

TINY amounts...but it's still THC.

My methylphenidate (Ritalin) does NOT give me the same sort of (minor) euphoric effect as scarfing down a bag of Fritos can.

All it does is turn on a fan that blows away the fog clouding my mind.

Without it, that fog is so thick, i could be driving down a side street in a suburban neighborhood, and not be able to see the mailboxes right there on the edge of the road!

With it, I can actually see past the end of the next 4 blocks.

None of which gets me "high" or "euphoric" ...but I literally do get a tiny bit euphoric off of scarfing corn chips. (Which I cannot scarf anymore, because yay, genetically inherited and now activated type 2 diabetes. yay. which sucks.)

It's just like how caffeine and I don't get along. It's the "wrong" kind of stimulant for me. Might be fine for you, but I gotta aim more for the theobromine in chocolate...and yes, I literally get a better high off of chocolate than I do off my ADHD medications.

Also,

PLEASE NOTE THE FOLLOWING ADHD MEDICATION INFORMATION:

ADHD meds are very alkaline in nature. This is what they need to be in order to work.

For a period of time, a window of two hours before you take your ADHD meds, to about 2 hours after you take them, DO NOT TAKE ACIDIC FOOD OR DRINK.

Orange juice, grapefruit, etc, that will neutralize the alkaline properties of ADHD meds.

You can still drink your cranberry juice at any other time. You can still have a big bowl of tomato soup along with that nice grilled cheese sandwich. Just don't do it around the time when you take your ADHD meds.

The pharmacy got some of my ADHD meds in!

After weeks!

I took ONE full dose and 20 minutes later was uncontrollably yawning and had to take a nap.

Stimulant meds are the first line, most effective treatment for ADHD, being remarkably effective in 70-75% of people with ADHD.

People with ADHD do not get high from their stimulant meds.

Becoming relaxed after taking them for the first time or after a long time off them is a sign that they are working and is an indicator that we DO have ADHD, though most doctors don't seem to know that this happens. We relax because we are closer to a normal state than we were, initially our bodies literally respond with relief.

Again. That is not what you would call even remotely a "high". Unless you are one of those awful people who believe naps are a crime.

They make our brain chemistry more normal, not less.

For those they help, we genuinely need them. Yes, both children and adults. It's fine to take them. It should not be a controversy (nor should ADHD itself be as controversial as it sadly is).

Medicating us does not lead to abuse. We are not addicts in waiting. Treating us as such is repugnant. (And treating addicts like shit is repugnant as well.)

Forcing us off medication with no support does, however, cause serious problems and can lead some people to seek them through illegal avenues, which is dangerous. Also understandable. The medical profession blames us and does not take responsibility for their part in this situation, even though they should.

We have every right to use whatever means works best for us free of censure, disapproval, and overzealous gatekeeping. If that's stimulant meds, so be it.

More respect for us please.

Especially now as we are facing rolling shortages of meds for the next few weeks or months. Your ADHD friends are struggling. Be patient.

[proquest000]

Fuel Your Day: How Pre-Workout Supplements Can Boost Energy & Focus for More than Just the Gym

Imagine This: It's your typical morning, and you are dealing with meetings, chores, or just an endless to-do list. Your usual cup of coffee is not going to cut it. That's where those pre-workout supplements hop in. Traditionally targeted towards the fitness enthusiast, could be exactly what you need to help keep your energy and your focus up through your day, even if you're not hitting the gym today.

Common Myths About Creatine Pre-Workout Supplements

Many people shy away from pre-workout supplements because of some wave of myths or misconceptions. Let's clarify some common misunderstandings.

Myth 1: "Creatine Pre-workout is only for athletes and bodybuilders."

While pre-workouts are popular among gym-goers, this is not a fitness-centric angle by any stretch of the imagination. Anyone who feels they need that little extra kick during an otherwise busy day could benefit from the energy and focus boost that comes from pre-workout ingredients.

Myth 2: "Pre-workouts are unhealthy and packed with chemicals."

Many of the current pre-workout India products are designed to be cleaner in the formula, thus steering away from any added artificial ingredients. Many natural options on the market offer the same energy-boosting effect with no additives.

Myth 3: "If I take a pre-workout every day, it will cause dependence."

Used responsibly and with awareness, pre-workouts can be a safe addition to your day. For those who are concerned, stimulant-free and low-caffeine options allow for a risk-free energy boost minus the side effect of becoming accustomed to feeling reliant on these stimulants.

Key Ingredients in Pre-Workout Supplements and How They Benefit Non-Gym Days

All ingredients used in pre-workouts are chosen to increase energy, focus, and the urge to be active. Here's a list of extremely powerful ingredients and how they might contribute to improving one's everyday life:

Caffeine

Everyone knows that caffeine gives energy, but in the context of pre-workout, it is often used in a way to offer longevity without jitters so you can be awake during meetings or focus on tasks.

L-Citrulline

L-Citrulline increases blood flow so oxygen hits the brain and muscles. This means better mental focus, less fatigue, and endless energy crash.

Beta-Alanine

Beta-alanine is also good for eliminating muscle fatigue, so the endurance will be extended and you will be mentally alert even through a busy schedule.

Adaptogens

Adaptogens, which many new pre-workouts contain, help reduce stress levels, keeping you composed throughout a hectic day, such as the ashwagandha example.

Why Consider Pre-Workout Supplements for Non-Workout Days?

Pre-workouts aren’t just about muscle pumps and endurance—they offer benefits that suit even the busiest workdays:

Sustained Energy Unlike sugar-based energy drinks, pre-workout India supplements provide long-lasting energy that prevents mid-day crashes. This can be beneficial for long days when you need to stay on top of tasks.

Improved Focus Ingredients like caffeine and L-Citrulline support better mental clarity and focus, helping you stay engaged in your work or other responsibilities.

Reduced Fatigue Beta-alanine and B vitamins help counteract fatigue, allowing you to power through both physical and mental tasks without the typical afternoon energy dip.

How to Incorporate Creatine Pre-Workout into Your Daily Routine

You simply take pre-workouts out of the gym environment. Here are the ways you can add this to your everyday routine productively.

Morning Kick-Start

Employ your pre-workout India supplement as a substitute for your coffee to get a clean, long-lasting energy boost that will get you going all morning long.

Pre-Meeting Brain-Sharpener

Before a major meeting, a pre-workout might give you more mental clarity, and get you through to present and participate with poise and focus.

Afternoon Pick-Me-Up

If you hit the post-lunch slump, a small dose of pre-workout can keep you on your toes alert and energized without the dreaded crash that sugary snacks might cause.

Tips for Safe and Effective Use

While the pre-workouts can positively influence daily activities, it is also necessary to intake the pre-workouts according to safety standards. Here are the tips

Start Low

You should take half the prescribed quantity to first check how your body reacts, in case you take creatine pre-workout for concentration rather than workouts.

Drink as Much Water as Possible

Pre-workouts make you dehydrate since some ingredients such as caffeine can dehydrate and should be compensated with drinking lots of water.

Avoid Taking it at Late Hours

Many pre-workouts contain caffeine, which can make it difficult to fall asleep if taken too close to bedtime. If you do take a caffeine-based pre-workout, consider taking it earlier in the day to minimize disruptions to your sleep.

Find Clean, Low-Stimulation Options

If you are sensitive to stimulants or prefer more of a smooth energy release, use a pre-workout that contains less caffeine, or find one with no stimulants.

Choosing the Right Pre-Workout for Daily Use

Pre-workout selections have become more comprehensive in recent years and cover a wide range of applications, both for fitness and non-fitness purposes. Now, here are a few points to consider in a pre-workout for daily use:

Low-Caffeine Formulas

Most common, of course, pre-workouts contain very high amounts of caffeine: an excellent pick-me-up for a vigorous workout but perhaps too strong for a workday or everyday use. To stay focused without jitteriness, look for pre-workouts with a moderate amount of caffeine: ideally 100-150 mg, which is the amount in a cup of coffee. 

That way, you get a soft boost, not the jitters that may come with higher dosages. If you are sensitive to caffeine, then a stimulant-free pre-workout supplement that has both B vitamins and natural adaptogens gives you the energy you need without having to depend on stimulants.

Adaptogens to Counteract Stress and Support Focus

Other popular adaptogenic pre-workout supplements today include ashwagandha, Rhodiola rosea, and ginseng. They help your body cope with stress and enhance mental clarity and calmness; therefore, they are perfect for hectic days at work or when doing complex tasks.

Adaptogens help you achieve a balanced energy state because you will remain focused and calm at difficult moments.

Amino Acids for Mental and Physical Performance

Other ingredients include L-citrulline and beta-alanine, which help increase blood flow and reduce fatigue in muscles, thus potentially promoting endurance from the mental perspective. The amino acids help prevent that tired feeling of mental exhaustion, keeping you sharp and focused for much longer. A well-balanced amount of such ingredients will be productive for physical activities as well as mentally challenging functions.

No Additives for Pure Energy Boost

The 'clean' pre-workout formula with natural flavours no added sugars and minimal artificial ingredients will make all the difference in how you feel. Some additives, especially sugars or artificial dyes, can cause crashes or bloating. Cleaner formulations are more stable sources of energy, which reduces the chances of side effects and may be consumed daily.

Antioxidants and Electrolytes for Overall Wellness

Some pre-workouts now include antioxidants like vitamins C and E, alongside electrolytes that promote hydration and immune health. This is even more precisely relevant if one takes the pre-workout to help with energy management during a typical day because these nutrients neutralize the oxidative stress and dehydration caused by caffeine and an active lifestyle.

Final Takeaway: Is Pre-Workout Right for Your Busy Life?

Pre-work supplements have evolved from gym-centric solutions, offering the flexibility of energy and focus solutions that are quite helpful in so many places. Would you like an alternative to coffee, energy drinks, or sugary snacks that can help get you going when you have a busy schedule? Pre-work can offer that. They sustain their energy over time while keeping it clean enough to keep you actively engaged, productive, and resilient in those tough moments.

Pre-workouts can fit into almost any wardrobe and are adaptable-there's what makes them particularly useful and invaluable not only for fitness enthusiasts but practically anyone who wants to make the most out of their day wherever they go.

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[ooglywooglies]

bit of a tmi

wore a sports bra out all day today bc that is what i wear when i leave the house, even though my thangs are big and heavy i dont wear anything at home so i guess theres a bit of stress when i do have to wear something

typically i get a bit of strain in the middle bridgey part between the mams bc it gets sort of tugged on my gravity and that gets irritated but today im also having the sad nipple syndrome

something i deal with occasionally that has nothing to do with gender dysphoria, whenever they make a little bit too much contact with anything i get this really wretched feeling like im being like, idk abused i guess, when i was a kid i was like did something happen to me that i blocked out... but this is apparently unrelated and something that can happen to anyone, even cis men i think

im reading reddit threads about it and a lot of people are like oh it has to do with hormones and breastfeeding and stuff and yknow what i dont think thats it, bc why would cis men also get it

you know how adhders have some like weird backwards brain chemistry that sometimes makes stimulants work backwards for them? i think thats what happening but instead of getting sleepy when you drink caffeine you get like uncomfortable instead of horny

someone really needs to do a study on this, people on reddit are like you should talk to your doctor about this and like, sure its a good thing to bring to peoples attention if you want it studied but that feels like a silly thing to say when i have done that and my doctor just went "huh i never heard of that before, anyway"

anyway tying this back to gender ive heard that they gotta cut ya nips off when you get top surgery and stick em back on and im wondering if i cant just be like, hey maybe leave those suckers off i dont like them bc if i could just not have that problem anymore that would be epic

[drvitaltips]

Why Does Coffee Make My Stomach Hurt?

Love coffee, but the feeling isn't always mutual? If your morning cup leaves you with a grumbling stomach, you're not alone. Coffee affects everyone a bit differently, and for some, it can trigger some not-so-pleasant digestive issues. Let's break down why coffee might make your stomach hurt and what you can do about it. It Might Be the Caffeine Coffee's most famous ingredient is caffeine, and that natural stimulant does more than just wake you up. Caffeine kicks your entire digestive system into high gear. For some, that means faster "transit time," leading to loose stools or diarrhea. Others might feel those caffeine jitters as cramps or bloating. How much caffeine is too much? A moderate amount of caffeine is considered around 400mg a day, but sensitivity is personal. If you notice your stomach troubles line up perfectly with your coffee breaks, it's worth experimenting with cutting back. Coffee's Acidity: A Factor to Consider Coffee beans naturally contain several types of acids. These acids contribute to coffee's signature tangy flavor but also can boost your stomach's acid production. For people with sensitive stomachs, this extra acid can mean irritation, pain, or even heartburn-like symptoms. Myth-busting: Coffee and Ulcers While coffee's acidity might be uncomfortable, there's little evidence it directly causes ulcers. However, if you have ulcers or gastritis, coffee can seriously aggravate those conditions. Lean more about Effects of Coffee on the Gastro-Intestinal Tract: A Narrative Review and Literature. Are You Especially Sensitive? Sometimes, it's not the coffee itself, but your body's unique makeup that's behind the tummy trouble. If you have existing digestive conditions, coffee could be a major trigger. - IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome): Caffeine and the other compounds in coffee can set off IBS symptoms for many sufferers. Visit the International Foundation for Gastrointestinal Disorders for more information on managing IBS. - Gastritis: This inflammation of the stomach lining makes it more vulnerable to irritation from coffee. - Food Intolerances: If you find dairy bothers your stomach, even a splash of milk in your coffee could be the culprit. Don't rule out the doctor If coffee-related pain is frequent or severe, always talk to a doctor. It could be a sign of an underlying condition that needs professional attention. Other Things in Your Coffee Coffee's not always the only suspect. Consider these other sneaky sources of tummy upset: - Dairy: Lactose intolerance is super common, causing bloating and cramps. Switch to black coffee or try a plant-based milk alternative. - Sugars and Sweeteners: Real or artificial sweeteners can bother some stomachs. Try coffee with just a touch of sweetness or none at all. Tips for Enjoying Coffee (If it Works for You) Don't despair! There are ways to minimize coffee's stomach-irritating effects: - Choose Low-Acid Blends: Look for brands specifically labeled as "low-acid". - Cold Brew to the Rescue: Cold brew tends to be less acidic than traditional hot coffee. - Never on an Empty Stomach: Having food in your system acts as a buffer against coffee's punch. - Listen to Your Body: Ultimately, if that cuppa joe makes you miserable, it might not be worth it. Coffee Alternatives If you need to ditch the caffeine or reduce your intake, here are some options with less digestive impact: AlternativeNotesHerbal TeasWide variety, many are caffeine-freeChicory RootCoffee-like flavor, but milderDecaf CoffeeStill has some caffeine, but much less FAQs - Q: Can I still drink coffee if it upsets my stomach? - A: Maybe! It depends on how severe your symptoms are. Try the tips above (low-acid coffee, not on an empty stomach, etc.). If things don't improve, it might be wise to cut back or take a break from coffee. - Q: Does dark roast coffee have less acid than light roast? - A: Surprisingly, it's the opposite! Dark roasts tend to be slightly less acidic, making them potentially easier on the stomach. - Q: Is there any way to make coffee less acidic? - A A tiny pinch of baking soda (seriously, just a pinch) can help neutralize some acidity. Be careful, too much will make your coffee taste awful! - Q: What are some good coffee alternatives? - A: There are many delicious options! Herbal teas come in a wide variety and many are naturally caffeine-free. Chicory root offers a coffee-like flavor with a gentler profile. Decaf coffee still has some caffeine, but significantly less than regular coffee. - Q: Can adding milk or cream to coffee make it upset my stomach? - A: Absolutely! Lactose intolerance is quite common, and dairy products can cause bloating and cramps. If you suspect dairy is the culprit, try black coffee or a plant-based milk alternative like almond or oat milk. Did you know? Some people swear by adding a pat of butter or a spoonful of coconut oil to their coffee. While the jury's out on if this actually makes coffee gentler on your stomach, it's a popular trend in the wellness world! Key Takeaways - Coffee can cause stomach upset due to its caffeine content, acidity, or other ingredients you add. - Individual sensitivity to coffee varies greatly. - If coffee bothers your stomach, try low-acid varieties, cold brew, or reducing your intake. - When in doubt, talk to your doctor, especially if you have existing digestive conditions. It's Not Just Coffee: Other Culprits to Watch Out For Sometimes we blame the coffee, when the real villains lurk elsewhere in our morning routine: - Stress and Anxiety: When you're anxious, your gut goes haywire too. If you notice your coffee woes are worse on busy days, stress might be amplifying the problem. For strategies on managing stress and anxiety, check out resources like the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. - Over-the-Counter Medications: Some painkillers (like ibuprofen or aspirin) can irritate the stomach lining. Could this be happening when you take medicine with your coffee? - Spicy Food: Love a fiery breakfast with your coffee? Spicy foods are notorious for causing digestive upset, and when paired with coffee, it could be a double whammy. - Artificial Sweeteners: Found in diet drinks and those little sugar packets, some artificial sweeteners are poorly digested and can lead to gas and bloating. Think about your overall morning routine. Could other factors be making your coffee-related stomach problems worse? Pros and Cons of Coffee Let's be fair! While coffee has its downsides, it can also have benefits. Here's a quick table: ProsConsBoosts energy and alertnessCan disrupt sleep if consumed too late in the dayMay offer some health benefits (reduced risk of certain diseases)Can contribute to anxiety for some individualsCan be a comforting ritualPotential digestive problems, especially if you're sensitive Should you ditch coffee altogether? That's up to you! Weighing these pros and cons can help you make an informed decision. Conclusion Whether you're a die-hard coffee lover or it never quite agreed with you, understanding why it might upset your stomach is key. Experiment with different brewing methods, switch up your beans, and pay attention to what your body is telling you. It might take some trial and error, but with a little effort, you can find a way to enjoy your favorite beverage without the discomfort. Fact: Time matters! Drinking coffee on an empty stomach is more likely to cause trouble. Having it alongside a meal helps minimize irritation. Have you found any tricks to make coffee easier on your stomach? Share your tips in the comments below! Disclaimer: The information provided on this website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional before making any decisions about your health. Read the full article

[pearlsofthec]

hi girl i really need to vent to someone about this… im currently in my first year of college and i’m taking a bachelor that i really love and feel like it’s meant for me. but nevertheless i struggle to bring myself to study - im a very lazy person and i feel like i do my best only under pressure. but that gives me so much stress and its not healthy to my body. i know that laziness is my weak point but sometimes i feel guilty about not studying because “im not feeling it” and i always have to rush myself.

whats your experience with uni? do you have any advice for me? thank you feel free not to respond if you dont feel like it ❤️❤️❤️

Hii I'm glad you sent me this message because I honestly go through the same procrastination rabbit hole during exams seasons, and even though I don't know if I can offer you a solution, I can at least say I totally understand where you're coming from!

I'm not exactly cured from this, but a few things have helped me work through it, and I'm gonna share them with the hopes they could help you too! SO, first of all, although it may sound completely unrelated, changing my diet actually increased my focus so so much. Last year, my diet consisted mainly of carbs, bad, easy to get carbs, which not only end up making you look unhealthy, but also feel sluggish. I knew how eating would always make me feel sleepy, so I would just postergate having any as much as I could, drink a lot of caffeine, eat a completely unbalanced dinner and sleep almost immediately. In theory that sounds somewhat practical, but when I tell you I could not focus or be productive at all while doing this crazy routine I mean it. Staying consistent in your work also means staying consistent in other parts of your life, so I definitely would recommend working out your health routine in coordination of your study routine! I wrote about the food situation, but that alone would have made a fraction of the difference I've felt having solved both that problem and organizing a consistent physical activity schedule (I do 1h of pilates/ yoga 4-6 times a week!).

I also had to get in my head that there will never be a perfect time to study. I'll never feel like studying, I'll never be in the mood to read a book about the conservation of architecture or do three hours worth of physics exercises, so I stimulate myself with the thought that though there is no perfect moment, this could be the as perfect as it gets moment, and just force myself to do it. I think more than anything, it's important not to fall into the trap of only working when you feel motivated, and create a work routine that's tied to your habits. There's this portuguese saying my mom always tells me "The "perfect" is the "good"'s enemy", and though it may sound crazy, it kind of makes sense... sometimes you procrastinate so much trying to achieve perfection, that you forget that a good result, is far more valuable than a well intentioned unfinished one.

There are probably more things, but I think I've already bored you enough! I'm sure you're gonna get there, let me know <3

XX

[heartbeat-eras]

Ok - Lets do this shall we? And coz it's me and I find the reactions of my heart interesting I recorded her while doing this.

1. What is your earliest heart related memory that made you feel funny/fuzzy/flustered? My first memory was hearing my mums heartbeat and asking her what it was. I was like 2 or 3. But my first flustered moment was probably in school when there was a song with hand actions and the word "heart" in it. I never could place my hand in the centre of my chest so I did it to the left. One of the girls saw and was like "no - your heart isn't there , it's here" and put her hand directly on the centre of my chest. I was so mortified.

2. When intimating the sound of a heartbeat, how do you do it? Are you a lub-dub, thump-thump, etc person? Or something else? Lub-Dub

3. What’s your favourite auscultation point? Coz Y'all kept pointing out my split, Pulm has become mine. It was Tri before but now I will default to Pulm / Erbs as I love that sound.

4. What’s your ultimate SFW cardiophilia related fantasy? Probably just having someone examine my whole heart with a 12 lead and echo just because I'm curious. Doing a stress test version too would be dope.

5. And what about your ultimate NSFW one? (Feel free to skip this!) - Umm that's hard coz I haven't really dabbled to know what I like but maybe the above pushing my heart too far and needing medical help to correct it.. or start it again... I'm not sure...

6. Do you prefer to listen to be listened to? A bit of both, however whenever I imagine the above situations I am always the patient / being listened to. *Shrugs

7. Have you ever had an awkward moment at a doctor’s appointment? Not heart related. I usually focus so much to bring her down that she's beating "calmly" for any heart or heart adjacent exams.

8. How about any “oh shit, have they clocked that I’m into this?” moment with strangers, acquaintances, friends or family? When going through my room my parents found my steth... it was never brought up. And back in Myspace (showing my age here) days I did a quiz like this and it asked "What's your fav sound" which I said - Heartbeats - Someone replied saying something like - yeah they are the best sound in the world... I got scared and deleted the post.

9. What’s your most recent heart related experience that gives you the warm fuzzies (in a wholesome, SFW way?) When I was having an anxious day, one of my close friends shared so when I was at work I had a body double and didn't feel alone. He shared for 7 hours like it was nothing but it meant so much to me.

10. What about in a NSFW way? (Again, feel free to skip this!) - Gonna skip this as I don't really have one.

11. Do you love or loathe the effect that caffeine has on your heart (if you drink it)? Used to love it. Now I can't drink caffeine on medication so loathe?

12. Do you own a watch that tracks your heart rate? Apple watch - but I forget to charge it all the time. I also had to turn off high heart rate notifications as she regularly goes over 100 with stimulants and it was annoying me

13. How about any other equipment (e.g. a steth, blood pressure machine, stemoscope, pulse oximeter, etc)? 2 X Steth (the purple littmann Classic and a Kincare Cardiology (which was my one and only for ever), Blood Pressure monitor I got when i started meds, spoilers i forget to do it. whoops, 3 lead ECG, Stemoscope. Polar HRM.. I think that's it.

14. Do you prefer listening to a fast or slow heart rate? Slow mostly because they are calming and you can hear what they are actually doing. But I don't hate fast ones.

15. Do you prefer having a slow or fast heart rate? Slow, she used to be so slow and now she's fast most of the time.. I miss the calm.

16. Have you ever done anything to purposely make your heart rate speed up or slow down? If so, what? Exercise.... coffee... in my 20's I tried poppers and weed. I don't anymore. Breath holds... I just can't pressure coz that s*** hurts lol

17. Have you ever stethed someone or taken their pulse outside of a medical scenario? lol - no.. well with my friend when he was training to be a nurse but I count that as medical scenario.

18. Has anyone done the above to you outside of a medical scenario? Same as above

19. Do you tend to hear “are you nervous?” or similar things from doctors because your heart is always beating so fast when they steth you? Do you have white coat syndrome? I always try to calm my heart when I know it's about to be checked in some way so no.

20. Have you ever complimented a medical professional on their steth? .. No.

21. Has a medical professional ever expressed curiosity about your knowledge of hearts after you've mentioned something that a typical patient wouldn't know? Lol I go the other way and pretend I know less so as not to be caught out.

22. Have you ever told anyone in real life about your interest in hearts? Nooooooo.

23. What’s your favourite heart related lyric in a song, or favourite song that gives off cardiophile vibes? Like any Taylor Swift song....

I can't find a pulse My heart won't start anymore for you 'Cause you're losin' me

orrr

'Til we were dead and gone and buried Check the pulse and come back swearing it's the same After three months in the grave

24. Has anyone ever caught you listening to heart audios, stething yourself, etc? If so, how did you explain yourself? Nope - not yet

25. Do you have a nickname for your heart? Well I always referred to my heart as She or Her. When I joined here someone asked for my name and as I was doing this anonymous to allow me to feel comfortable to post I had to come up with a name. First name that came to mind was Anna. I don't know why. But as people called me it more, by the time I gave my name to the first person I was like - "I feel like she has her own personality and is an extension of me. And I think Anna suits her". So I call her Anna which has worked really when talking about her reaction separate to me... if that makes sense.

26. Have you ever had an ECG/echo/stress test, etc? 12 lead ecg for my meds - anti climactic as I never saw it coz i was too freaked out at the time and it was just a cautionary thing.

27. What’s the ultimate comment that someone can make about your heart to fluster you? Probably just making comments about how she's currently beating.. she's pretty reactive so anything does it.

28. Do you struggle to say the words “heart”, “heartbeat”, etc aloud? OMG yes. But i've forced myself to use them so it's easier now. But there are times I will go to say it and have to pause before pushing it out.

29. What’s your favourite pulse point on yourself? How about on others? Radial all round. Carotid is just too life and death (think hospitals and greys anatomy). radial is just convenient and inconspicuous

30. Has anyone ever commented on your heartbeat or pulse being visible? No. She's a bit delicate and not visible that im aware of...

OMG that took 45 mins. hahaha - did any of the questions make her race? where there any more that weren't there that you MUST know?

Cardiophiles, reblog with your answers so your followers can get to know you! ♡

There are 30 questions, more below the cut!

1. What is your earliest heart related memory that made you feel funny/fuzzy/flustered?

2. When intimating the sound of a heartbeat, how do you do it? Are you a lub-dub, thump-thump, etc person? Or something else?

3. What’s your favourite auscultation point?

4. What’s your ultimate SFW cardiophilia related fantasy?

5. And what about your ultimate NSFW one? (Feel free to skip this!)

6. Do you prefer to listen to be listened to?

7. Have you ever had an awkward moment at a doctor’s appointment?

8. How about any “oh shit, have they clocked that I’m into this?” moment with strangers, acquaintances, friends or family?

9. What’s your most recent heart related experience that gives you the warm fuzzies (in a wholesome, SFW way?)

10. What about in a NSFW way? (Again, feel free to skip this!)

11. Do you love or loathe the effect that caffeine has on your heart (if you drink it)?

12. Do you own a watch that tracks your heart rate?

13. How about any other equipment (e.g. a steth, blood pressure machine, stemoscope, pulse oximeter, etc)?

14. Do you prefer listening to a fast or slow heart rate?

15. Do you prefer having a slow or fast heart rate?

16. Have you ever done anything to purposely make your heart rate speed up or slow down? If so, what?

17. Have you ever stethed someone or taken their pulse outside of a medical scenario?

18. Has anyone done the above to you outside of a medical scenario?

19. Do you tend to hear “are you nervous?” or similar things from doctors because your heart is always beating so fast when they steth you? Do you have white coat syndrome?

20. Have you ever complimented a medical professional on their steth?

21. Has a medical professional ever expressed curiosity about your knowledge of hearts after you've mentioned something that a typical patient wouldn't know?

22. Have you ever told anyone in real life about your interest in hearts?

23. What’s your favourite heart related lyric in a song, or favourite song that gives off cardiophile vibes?

24. Has anyone ever caught you listening to heart audios, stething yourself, etc? If so, how did you explain yourself?

25. Do you have a nickname for your heart?

26. Have you ever had an ECG/echo/stress test, etc?

27. What’s the ultimate comment that someone can make about your heart to fluster you?

28. Do you struggle to say the words “heart”, “heartbeat”, etc aloud?

29. What’s your favourite pulse point on yourself? How about on others?

30. Has anyone ever commented on your heartbeat or pulse being visible?