#you can’t tell me he isn’t the cutest human ever

[lovebugism]

Imagine rough sex with eds and you guys just break the bed and you have to tell wayne

✶ ┄ BROKEN BEDS !

summary: you and eddie break his bed. the worst part is having to tell wayne. pairing: eddie munson / f!reader warning: smut! eddie being the cutest human alive! a wild appearance from uncle wayne! 18+ mdni! a/n: i need everyone to know that when i wrote this draft, i titled it "breaking bed" and it made me chuckle a lil. anyway, thanks for your request anon! enjoy xoxo

( MASTERLIST )

when eddie muson fucks, he fucks like a wild animal

he grunts with each of his rough thrusts, brown eyes somehow darker with lust while his untamed curls cling to his sweaty forehead

and you just let him drill into you because, truth be told, you love him this way

you hold the backs of your thighs and keep yourself wide open for him while he fucks so deeply into you

he leans over you, one hand white-knuckled where it grips his headboard, and the other wrapped around your throat

not tight enough to choke you exactly, but to make sure your eyes stay locked on his as he fucks you for all your worth

the headboard slams into the wall in time with each of his thrusts, rhythmic bang bang bangs that you’d be scared are leaving a dent in the wall if eddie wasn’t making you feel so good

he tilts your jaw to the side to expose your neck to him

and he hides his face in the sweaty crook of it, seeking refuge there while he nips and suckles at the warmed skin

you just keep begging for him to go harder and deeper and faster as he fucks you more and more stupid

and eddie complies without question

he revels in the way you keen each time he pounds into you and how your face scrunches up and your back arches for him

your toes curl and your legs tense up so hard they start to quiver

and right when you’re about to come, the bed suddenly jolts and dips beneath you, accompanied by loud crashing sound

it scares the shit out of you and you squeal while eddie lets out a grunt of surprise

because his bed just fucking broke

and it isn’t the most surprising thing in the world, the thing is about as old as he is

but it does take the two of you off guard 

all you can do in the moment is laugh about it

and eddie barely wastes another second before he starts fucking you again

because his bed is already broken, who cares if it gets more fucked up?

plus he knew how close you were to your orgasm and you just look so pretty when you come <3

the worst part about it though is telling wayne

because there’s no way he’s not going to notice

and eddie can’t exactly sleep on a crooked bed

so he just comes up with the shittiest excuse known to man “so the thing is... i was… jumping on the bed…”

wayne furrows his brows “the hell were you doing jumping on your bed?”

“well, you see, i was just, you know… trying to… heal my inner child…”

“…what the fuck does that mean?”

but, like, obviously wayne knows

typically you’re good at keeping eddie in check and sometimes he can hear you saying you don’t want to fuck while wayne’s in the house

and that’s a part of the reason he likes you so much bc you don’t want to put him through that trauma

but you guys are young and in love and sometimes keeping your hands off of each other feels like the hardest thing in the world

so he knows exactly how the bed broke

but hearing eddie trying to lie about it is the funniest thing on the planet

shopping for a new bed frame is easily the most adult thing you and eddie have ever done

and the only one he can afford is a star wars themed one in the children’s section

eddie groans and acts annoyed about having to get one that’s so childish but you know he secretly loves it

because the headboard is shaped like the cock pit of the millennium falcon with lightsabers painted on the foot of the bed

you try to put it together without wayne’s help while he’s at work

and you’re like “how long do you give it before we break this one?”

“an hour if you wine and dine me first <3”

have any blurb requests? send em here if you want!

[initialchains]

10 things i hate about you | anthony lockwood.

pairing: anthony lockwood x fem!reader

summary: george karim falls in love with your sister, and the only thing standing between him and the love of his life is the fact that she isn’t allowed to date unless you do, too. luckily for him, anthony lockwood would do anything for a bit of publicity.

wc: 5.8k (part one)

a/n: hii i felt so bad for leaving you all hanging, but finals week left me extremely burnt out and tired. luckily, the lockwood brainrot is neverending, so as a way of saying sorry here’s the first part of this silly ol’ fic. (including the first five things to hate about lockwood.)  i’m also super sorry for the next part because it will be 90% angst lol ++ this is inspired by the movie but not completely based on it bc it’s my all time favorite film and i was scared of not doing it justice.

Lucy swore she was going to quit the agency again if George didn’t stop pacing around the kitchen like an idiot. She kept thinking of things to say to get him to stop, but a part of her also wanted to see how long this pathetic situation in front of her would take, she knew it wouldn’t be long until their researcher got tired of walking back and forth. And that’s where she is now. Sitting in the kitchen, an empty mug staring back at her, while George kept pacing in front of her and Lockwood.

“Hey, George! I have an idea. Why don’t you sit down and tell us what’s going on like a normal person, instead of just muttering I’m so fucked over and over?” 

George finally stopped and looked up at her. He stood still for a few seconds before taking a seat next to Lockwood.

“Well, I’m fucked.”

“Yeah, I think we heard that part.”

“Luce, stop,” Lockwood said in the softest voice he could muster, before turning to George. “Do you want to talk about it? Maybe we can help.”

George took a deep breath before starting. “So, you know how I’ve been telling you both and Holly about that one girl from the archives?”

Lockwood smiled at that. The thought of George crushing on a girl after bonding with her about their love for research is still one of the cutest things he has ever heard.

“Oh, right. How are things going with her? Is everything alright?” 

“Well, sort of. I mean, everything is alright, but just when I thought of finally making a move on her, she kind of, um… dropped a bomb on me?” 

“A bomb? But you already knew she’s a Fittes agent, that’s not new.” Lucy stated. 

“Yes, I know. And trust me, there’s nothing wrong with that.” George continued, “She is the sweetest, most intelligent, beautiful human being to have ever lived. I mean it.” 

Lucy and Lockwood shared a knowing look. George was totally a goner for this girl.

“Then.. just ask her out?” Lockwood suggested, watching carefully as George fidgeted with the thinking cloth, now too shy to look at his friends.

“That’s the problem, I can’t,” George explained, before pulling his glasses away and rubbing his eyes. The stress of the situation clearly getting the best of him.

“Okay, this will probably be a stupid question, but.. why?” Lucy asked, genuinely confused by the problem her friend was going through. Sure, asking someone out is frightening, but it’s not like George was about to fight a type two without any kind of protection.

George took a deep breath before finally explaining. “She can’t go out with me unless her sister gets a date, too.” 

Lucy almost laughed at how stupid the so-called bomb was. “Well, ask one of her colleagues to woo her or something. She’s a Fittes agent too, right?” She suggested, remembering the only fact they knew about said sister. “She must know a bunch of people willing to date her.” 

George found the strength to look up, making eye contact with Lockwood and then turning to Lucy, before finally dropping the bomb on them. “I can’t, everyone at Fittes despises her.” 

Shit.

Lockwood and Lucy didn’t even have to think twice about who the sister in question was. There’s only one person who is loathed by every single Fittes agent, and surprisingly it isn’t Quill Kipps. George was talking about Fittes’ very own heinous bitch. (Obviously, the nickname was granted by the one and only Bobby Vernon. But to be fair, it’s not like he is the most reliable of people. Lockwood took note of that.)

Portland Row was silent for a few moments until Lucy finally spoke up. “Well, George. The world is wide, there will always be other people for you to fall for.” 

“Luce.” Lockwood warned her. 

“I’m trying to help!” 

“I know you are, but George really likes this girl.” He explained

“I think I might be in love with her. No, scratch that. I am in love with her.” George confessed in a small whisper.

“Oh, fuck.”

“Luce.”

“Sorry!” 

“I told you we would try to help, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do. Right, Lucy?” Lockwood looked at her, an unspoken beg passing between them. 

“Fine, yeah, we will. What do you know about her sister? Maybe we can find someone with the same interests as her. Like umm.. Holly? or the guy who sweeps the floor at Arif’s?” Lucy almost winced at how stupid their repertoire of options was, the three of them were friends with a limited number of people, and by limited she meant Holly and a guy who always greets them when they get something from Arif’s

George thought for a few moments about everything he knew about her. “I know she’s a team leader–” He couldn’t even finish his list, let alone his sentence, because before he could even continue, Lockwood stood up. 

“I’ll do it.” He said with a small shrug, almost as if it was the most normal thing in the world. 

A chorus of “I’m sorry?” and “What the fuck?” were heard at the same time, but Lockwood couldn’t bring himself to care. He wanted to do this. 

“What? You said you wanted someone to woo her. Right, Luce?” He explained as he took Lucy’s empty mug away from her and moved to the sink. 

Lockwood’s back faced them while he washed their used dishes. “Yes, but.. why do you want to do it?”

“It’s a win-win situation. If I go out with her, George will get to date her sister, and we will get publicity.” The way Lockwood explained the situation with such ease had Lucy thinking he had planned this beforehand.

“Publicity?” George finally spoke up. 

“Yes. You said she’s a team leader, which means she is important, and we also know she’s disliked by every single one of her peers, which means the press will be surprised to see her hanging out with someone. So, if we get photographed together, everyone will want to know what’s so special about the agents of Lockwood and Co. Which means–” 

“More cases.” George finished the sentence for him.

“See? It’s easy.” Lockwood, finally done with the dishes, turned around.

“No, it’s not. I think it’s a stupid idea. You won’t be using someone to get this agency more clients, are you insane?” Lucy stated, indignation lacing her words. 

“Hey, George. You said you were taking her sister out for breakfast tomorrow, how about we make it a double date?” He said with a bright smile, ignoring Lucy’s words. 

“Oh, um.. Okay.”

George was right, Lucy thought. They are so fucked. 

1- I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair.

“George, calm down. Everything will be okay, I promise.” Lockwood said, sending an encouraging look to the boy next to him. George was sweating, he didn’t expect your sister to accept the double date. He didn’t expect you to accept the double date. 

“I know. I even practiced a speech and everything, it will be alright.”

“You practiced a what?”

George wasn’t able to answer his question because right when Lockwood asked him, they were able to see two silhouettes standing outside of the café they were walking to.

“Oh, they’re here,” Lockwood stated plainly before walking up to them, George looking nervous as fuck next to him. 

Sure, George was a sweaty mess, but he knew this would happen. He even expected you to look at him with disgust in your eyes and say something along the lines of “I was dragged here against my will. Fuck you, Karim. You will never date my sister.” 

What he didn’t expect to see was your face painted with confusion. George was about to greet you with the long speech he spent the entire night workshopping, but before he could even mutter a word, you let out an exasperated sigh and looked George in the eye before you gaze slipped to Lockwood and then back to him. 

“What is it, asshole day? Why are you two here?”

Lockwood was about to open his mouth and answer your question, but luckily your sister spoke up just in time.

“I invited my two friends to have breakfast with us!” She said with a bright, almost angelic smile. George felt like he was in heaven just by seeing her. 

“I know about Karim, but why are you friends with Anthony Lockwood?” 

“Oh, so you’ve heard of me? Only the good things, I hope.” Lockwood said, his charming smile making a way to his face.

“Yeah, like the houses you’ve burned down, and how stupidly reckless you are to the point that you even got shot.” You stated, repulse evident in your eyes as you looked at the man of the hour. 

“It’s adorable how much you know about me.”

“Have you ever been to a psych ward? I can get you an appointment set and ready by tonight.”

“You want to see me tonight?”

George feared you might slit Lockwood’s throat with the way you were looking at him. “We should, um, get inside.” He said, trying (and failing) to break the awkward tension, guiding the four of you into the café. 

George looked at your sister and whispered into her ear “It’s not my place to assume but.. you didn’t tell her we were coming, did you?”

She gave him a shy smile before answering. “I want her to make some friends, and I think someone like Lockwood might help her come out of her shell.”

She looked so innocent that George wanted to break down crying and tell her all about Lockwood’s dumb publicity plan. This was eating him alive. 

You took a seat next to your sister in the booth George had reserved for the four of you. Lockwood smiled when he saw your eyes widen at the sight of him sitting right in front of you. 

“Karim, can you switch places with your friend?” 

“Why? Are you embarrassed I’ll see you blush whenever you look into my eyes?” 

“Have you ever been told that your hairline will recede by the time you’re 30 years old if you keep cutting and styling your hair like that?”  

“Have you ever been told that you’re incredibly beautiful?” 

Your sister had to place her hand over yours before you could reach for the knife placed in front of you by a waiter. Lockwood couldn’t contain his laughter at the look on your face.

“What’s so fucking funny, Lockwood?”

“Nothing. Don’t mind me, please continue with your insults. I relish being the reason behind your thoughts and words.” 

That was enough to shut you up. Your sister, George, and Lockwood shared jokes and stories while you looked down at your plate, the conversation flowing easily between them. Sometimes you’d look up to find Lockwood staring at you, he’d send you a small smile and try to include you in the conversation, but you didn't intend on giving him the satisfaction of getting you to speak, so you’d shut him down with an eye roll. 

The rest of the morning went by smoothly until your sister had the brilliant idea to tell you about her plans for the rest of the day. 

“You’re going to the archives with Karim.. alone? Just the two of you?” 

“Did you not hear her the first time, love?”

“Shut the fuck up, Lockwood.” You snapped at him, hoping your anger was enough to mask the blush rushing into your cheeks. 

It wasn’t. 

“Did I just make you blush?”

“You made me want to throw up.”

“Deny it all you want, but the pet name clearly had an effect on you.. love.”

“Ugh, whatever.” 

The four of you stood up and walked to the café’s exit, Lockwood opening the door for your sister and you. As soon as you got outside, your sister began to apologize for not telling you about her impromptu archives plan with George.

“It’s fine, I don’t mind. Just.. text me when you get there?” You said softly. Way too softly, Lockwood noticed. He had never seen you this vulnerable, maybe your sister was way more important to you than he expected. 

“I will. Promise.”

You said your goodbyes before turning around, planning on walking to your car, but the universe definitely wasn’t on your side today.

“Wait! I’ll go with you.” Lockwood said as he tried to catch up with you, matching the pace of your long strides. 

“I don’t know if you can tell, Lockwood, but I’m trying to get away from you.”

“What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t drive you home after our first date?”

“You’re not a gentleman, and that wasn’t a date.”

Lockwood pressed a hand to his heart, feigning hurt. “Ouch, not a gentleman? Thank god my mother isn’t here to hear those words.”

You finally stopped walking and turned around to face him. “What do you want?”

“To.. drive you home?”

“No, Lockwood. What do you want? You tried to include me in your stupid conversation earlier, then paid for my breakfast, opened the door for me, and now you want to drive me home. What the fuck do you want?”

Lockwood stayed silent for a while, just staring into your eyes. “I was trying to be nice to you, is that too hard to believe?” 

He took notice of how you looked away from his eyes and tried to keep your hands busy by playing with the hem of your shirt. 

You cleared your throat before saying, “Fine, but if you fuck my car up, I swear to god, Lockwood..” 

2- I hate the way you drive my car.

The car was silent the entire first half of the ride. Sometimes you’d catch Lockwood staring at you from the corner of your eye, but you never looked back, deciding that looking through the car window was a better sight. 

“You don’t talk much unless it is to deliver a well-crafted insult, huh?” Lockwood said, trying to break the silence. It wasn’t awkward, it was just.. tense. 

“Do you want me to talk to you?” You answered, slightly surprised by the fact that Anthony Lockwood of all people, wanted to have a conversation with you. 

“Yeah.”

“And what do you want me to say? It’s not like I know a single thing about you.” 

“You can say whatever you want, I don’t mind. I’ll accept it whether it is you cursing my entire bloodline, or you saying you’re deeply attracted to me.” 

The car came to a stop, a red light illuminating Lockwood’s sharp features. You hated to admit it, but fuck, Anthony Lockwood was attractive. 

“Me? Deeply attracted to you? Holy shit, did you fall and hit your head as a baby?”

“You so are.”

“Am I that transparent? Because you’re right. Oh, Lockwood, I am so attracted to you and your stupid fucking personality. I want you, I need you. Oh baby, oh baby.”

“You have such a beautiful way with words, love.”

That was enough to get a small laugh out of you. Lockwood kept surprising you, he didn’t back down after an insult or two, and he actually seemed to enjoy being indulged in them. 

He turned his head to look at you as soon as he heard you laugh, a smile adorning his face. A feeling of pride (and maybe something more) swelled in his chest.

“I can’t believe I just made you laugh for the first time and we’ve been on a date for about three hours now. God, I’m making such a bad first impression.” 

“You still won’t let the idea of this being a date go?” 

“Nope. I enjoy being on a date with you. You’re a nice person to hang out with.”

The corners of your lips curled up into a small smile. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do, I would rather take you out on a million dates than spend 30 minutes with any other person,” Lockwood confessed, and he meant it.

“Like you could find a person who would willingly spend 30 minutes with you.”

“Oh, see? That, there. Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?”

The two of you spent the rest of your ride home talking, the tension slowly evaporating, leaving room for the back-and-forth quips that Lockwood and you kept throwing each other. 

Lockwood stopped the car when he heard you say, “Alright, this is my house.” You were about to open the door, but before you could even extend your arm he said a quick, “Wait!” and got out of the car, rounding it to open your door.

“Thanks.”

“Anything and everything for you.”

Just as you were about to answer, a flash and the sound of a camera clicking disrupted the moment you were having. 

“You’re fucking with me”, you muttered under your breath. Lockwood looked surprised too, he had completely forgotten about his plan. 

Take her out for a few days. Get photographed together. Gain more clients.

His heart sank at the reminder of the reality of this situation. He had been so busy having fun with you, that his mind decided to blur out the reason why he was hanging out with Fittes’ most hated agent. 

“Alright. I should, um, go.”

“Do you want me to walk you to your door? Or is the first date too soon to meet your parents?”

“Fuck you, Lockwood,” You said with a smile.

“It doesn’t really seem like you want to.”

He found himself smiling, too. 

3- I hate it when you stare.

“What a fun coincidence to find you here, love.”

You rolled your eyes at Lockwood’s annoying voice. “Yeah, it’s such a fun coincidence that you almost burned this house down and my team had to come help your incompetent agency.” 

“Third time’s a charm.”

“There’s no way in hell you’ve been the cause of more than two fires.” 

“If you let me take you out on another date, maybe I’ll tell you more about them.” You almost stabbed him with your rapier. “Shut up, people might hear.” That brought a bright smile to his face and an incredulous look to his eyes.

“Oh, so you want to keep our relationship a secret? Fine, I’ll take it. I love a forbidden romance.” He whispered, the smell of lavender and lemon engulfing you as he kneeled a bit to whisper in your ear. 

“Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night. Anyway, I need to go check out the paperwork for the mess you made, can you keep an eye on my team?” You shyly asked, breaking the eye contact he was desperately trying to keep.

“You trust me with your team? I thought my agency was incompetent and I wasn’t good at anything.” 

“It’s just for a few minutes, don’t let this get to your head.” 

“Oh, it’s way over my head, love.” 

You showed him a very special finger, before walking away to talk to Barnes. You tried to remain professional and listen to what the inspector was saying, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of a pair of eyes looking at you. “Sorry for calling you again, you know how it gets whenever Lockwood and Co have a case,” Barnes said, breaking you out of the cage your mind had trapped you in. 

“Oh, it’s nothing. It’s my pleasure to help.” You tried to muster up a small smile for the man, you liked Barnes, he never treated you differently, not even when the way you acted and decided to express yourself wasn’t the most appropriate. 

“And I think it's their pleasure to be helped.”

“I’m sorry?”

You turned around, following Barnes’ line of sight, only for your eyes to meet Lockwood’s. He gave you a small smile but didn’t look away, it was almost as if he longed for your eyes to make contact. You sent him a small frown, wordlessly asking him what was wrong, he just shrugged and waved at the two of you. 

“He is so weird.” You said, turning to face the inspector. “Tell me about it. Well, we are all done here. Have a nice night, and make sure to get home safely.” He answered, eager to get away from the group of agents surrounding him, and walking away. 

Lockwood didn’t miss a beat before making his way to you. “So, I’m thinking we make the second date happen over some tea at Portland Row?”

“Not happening.”

“I’m not one to make a woman feel uncomfortable when she says no, but may I ask why?

“I’d rather spend my time hanging out with ten type threes, than with the group of miscreants you call friends. No offense to Lucy and Holly, though. I quite like them. I was talking about Karim, tell that thing to stay away from my sister.” You answered, finally finding the guts to maintain eye contact while you spoke. 

“You know Lucy and Holly?” He decided to ignore your entire statement, now only focused on the fact that you knew his friends. Anxiety making its way through his body at the thought of Lucy telling you about his plan. 

“Yeah, and they told me some really interesting things about you. I never took you as the type of person to do that type of stuff.”

Lockwood’s heart almost gave out. “What did they say?”

“That you wear pink socks.”

He felt his heart start beating again. Lockwood thought he was about to die in front of you, he made a mental note to thank Lucy for being nice enough to not tell you about his schemes. He found the strength to give you a charming smile. 

“That surprised you? Lord, do you think I’m the type of guy to have a fragile masculinity? My mother raised me better than that.” 

“You mention your mother a lot, are you close with her?

They should give out awards for Feeling your heart stop two times in the span of 3 minutes because Lockwood was sure he would get one delivered to Portland Row’s doorstep by tomorrow morning. 

“I.. um, yeah.” 

Fuck. You made it awkward. You almost dropped down to your knees and begged him for forgiveness. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude into your personal life, it’s not my place to ask and assume shit about your family. I’m so fucking sorry, Lockwood.” The light in your eyes dimmed, the sight of it made Lockwood want to tell you all about his past. He wanted to go back to ten minutes ago when your eyes were shining and looking into his. He internally swore to never let the light leave them again.

“You’re good, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” He reassured you in a small voice, clearly not fine. 

“No, I will worry–” You couldn’t finish your sentence because, once again, the light of a camera flash illuminated Lockwood and you, blinding you both for a split moment. 

“Of course they’re here. Jesus Christ, do they not have lives? A family?” 

“Maybe they just like taking pictures of your beautiful face.”

The light came back to your dim eyes at his statement. “There he is.” You said, noticing how his gaze slipped from your eyes to your lips, before going back to the eye contact you had.

“What can I say? I can’t stop myself from complimenting you when you’re around.”

4-  I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind.

The streets of London were quiet while Lockwood took a small walk in the early morning. Lucy told him if he walked around the city for a few hours, he’d be able to break in the new pair of combat boots she got him as a present after he made it through 10 cases without almost dying.  

“It’s 8 am and you’re already up being pathetic. I should say I saw this coming, but I really didn’t. Holy shit.” A familiar voice snapped him out of the daze he was in. He was so busy going through a list in his head of all the things he had to do this week, that he didn’t notice you walking next to him. 

“How long have you been walking by my side?”

“Long enough to see you staring straight ahead and not noticing how incredibly pathetic you look. Your boots are hideous, by the way.” You answered, looking into his eyes and noticing how he smirked at your last remark.

“I don’t think Lucy will be happy about you calling her well-thought gift hideous.”

You let out a genuine laugh as soon as he said that. It was the type of laugh that bubbled up from your chest and had you throwing your head back. It made Lockwood feel as if all the morning clouds had disappeared and the sun shone only on the two of you. Sure, you had laughed at Lucy’s gift, but the sound was enough to let the sun shine its warm rays through Lockwood’s heart. An infinite sunbathe.

“Oh, so you find this funny? Hurting my best friend’s feelings?” He asked in a teasing tone, squinting slightly at you.

“So.. I take it she didn’t tell you?” You asked, a small giggle escaping your lips and going straight through Lockwood’s heart. 

“Tell me what?”

“That our plan was to get you the most ugly, repulsive looking, and incredibly stupid boots that we could find? I wasted my money on that, you’re welcome or whatever.” 

He should’ve been offended. Offended at how Lucy wanted him to humiliate himself by walking through the streets of London with a pair of bright neon green combat boots. Offended that she had asked for your help to choose the ugliest pair she could find. But he was too busy fighting the urge to press his lips against yours and to run his slender fingers through your hair. 

Did you not notice how you always bit your lip after laughing because you thought that would stop you from falling into another fit of laughter? 

“Yeah, yeah, you two are so funny,” He rolled his eyes with a smile. “Thank you, love.” He was about to nudge you with his shoulder, but as soon as he turned to look at you, he noticed you weren’t next to him anymore.

His heart stopped for a second until he finally looked back and caught you staring at two women through a café window, clearly on a date. One of them gave the other a bouquet of different types of flowers and brushed back a strand of her girlfriend’s bright red hair. That brought a smile to your face. 

“Hey, you okay?” He whispered as soon as he stood next to you, noticing the sad smile on your face. 

“Oh, yeah. I was just..” 

You didn’t have to say a word for him to be aware of what you wanted to mention. The look in your eyes, and the small smile on your face.. this was the look you always got whenever you saw your sister with George. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Lockwood reassured you. Not wanting to scare you off after seeing the look on your face and the small voice you used to answer. 

“Do you think I’m holding my sister back?” You asked, turning around to look into his eyes, your hands trembling a bit.

He didn’t miss a beat before taking hold of your hand and lacing your fingers together, giving your gentle hand two squeezes. “I think.. you care a lot about her, and that’s completely fine. But it is not your job to dictate what she can or can not do. It’s okay to let her have her freedom and life, just like you deserve to have yours.” 

You took a deep breath before pulling Lockwood into a hug, your arms surrounding his neck. Lockwood was startled for a second but didn’t have to think about it twice before wrapping his arms around your waist, letting you take the lead in this display of affection. 

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I know, but.. um”

“You don’t have to say anything, come on,” He said, breaking the hug and taking your hand into his, pulling you forward to continue the walk you were on.

5- I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme.

Lockwood looked down at your intertwined hands, thinking of things to say to get the fog of sadness blinding you out of the way. “So you’re a hopeless romantic, huh?

“What the fuck?”

Alright, so maybe this wasn’t his greatest icebreaker ever, but at least it was something. He chose to continue. 

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you always stare at every couple we walk past. It’s kind of adorable. Fittes’ heinous bitch being a hopeless romantic? Sign me the hell up.”

“You’re sick in the head, Anthony Lockwood.”

“I didn’t think of you as a hopeless romantic, like.. at all. But I assume this means you’re the type of person who wants flowers and love letters delivered to her doorstep. Right?”

“No.”

“Sure, love. I’ll keep this in mind for future references.”

Lockwood made sure to walk you back to Fittes’ building after spending the rest of his morning with you, choosing to take the weird looks his boots got with pride and a bright smile. Whenever someone stopped him in the street he’d answer with a happy “my best friend and this beautiful lady next to me gave them to me as a gift”. 

You spent the rest of your day going back and forth through Fittes’ small yet numerous offices, talking to different people about your previous and next cases. Sometimes you’d stop to take a breather outside a door, but quickly remembered the importance of your role as a team leader, and snapped out of your seemingly neverending exhaustion. 

“Am I dreaming or is that my best friend in the whole world?” You turned your head to the right to find Bobby Vernon smirking at you, a dry chuckle leaving his lips.

“Fuck off, Vernon.”

“Woah, no need to get all pissy, love.” You clenched your shaking fists, trying to keep your anger in. You may have a short temper, but you would never let someone like him get the satisfaction of making you angry, or at least of noticing the effect his words have on you. 

The thought of someone other than Lockwood calling you by that pet name made you want to burst into tears. How dare they see you as someone who’s weak? After everything you’ve done and fought for to get the role you have as an agent? 

“I don’t have the time for your bullshit, so just spit it out and let me go home.” You said with an eye roll.

“Your sister wanted me to tell you that you got mail. Well, it’s more like a gift, I guess. I assume it’s from your parents because I can’t think of a single human being who genuinely likes you.” 

You knew better than to take his words to heart, but the venom he said them with stung. You knew you were unlikeable, probably even unloveable at this point, but he didn’t have any right to say those words to your face. It made you feel disgusting, you had to fight back the urge to throw up.

“Yeah, alright. Have a good day, Vernon.” You replied as you walked past him and out into the street, calling for a cab to take you home.

The ride back home was silent, and it surprisingly made you miss Lockwood. It made you miss his stupid jokes, his ugly haircut, and his reckless way of driving your car. You were sure the poor guy didn’t know what a stop sign meant. 

As soon as the cab driver got you home, you made sure to pay him and wish him a safe drive, after all, the curfew was 15 minutes away from starting. A sigh escaped your lips after opening your door and heading into your room. The day had left you completely worn out, and Bobby’s words didn’t help at all with the shit day you were having.

You quickly got changed and were about to head to bed when you noticed a package sitting in the corner of your room. A frown made its way to your face when your eyes caught the unfamiliar handwriting with your name on the box, curiosity taking the best of you as you opened the package with a delicate touch.

A gasp left your lips when you opened it and found the same bouquet of colorful flowers you saw the woman give to her partner at the café. A white envelope sat next to them.

With a small smile and shaking hands, you opened it and were greeted with Lockwood’s handwriting.

Hey, my love. 

I’ll be really honest and say that my mind is completely blank as I write this, but I just wanted to let you know that right after I dropped you off, I went to Arif’s with George and heard a love song playing — I couldn’t help but think of your hopeless romantic self as soon as I heard these lyrics: You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you. 

Jesus, I know you’re having a field day reading this. Me? Embarrassing myself and sending you a bouquet and a love letter? You’re right, I must be extremely sick in the head.

Anyway, I hope you have a good day. You deserve it.

With lots of love,

Lockwood. 

(PS: You don’t have to say it back! But I thought it felt right to say it since we’re kind of besties now.) 

The tears you spent the entire day holding back decided to come out right after you finished reading the letter. Sobs escaped your lips as you sat down in your bed, the flowers and letter still in your hand. A strange feeling bubbled up inside you, you didn’t quite know what it meant, but decided to guess it was that disgusting sickening feeling Bobby left you with. 

When you laid in bed and tried to go to sleep, you took notice of how different the feeling you were having right now was from the one you got with Bobby Vernon. Sure, this one made you want to throw up, too. But it also made you want to stare into Lockwood’s eyes again and to feel his arms wrapped around your waist for a few more seconds. You drifted to sleep with a craving of feeling Lockwood’s hand intertwined with yours for the rest of your life.  

[ancientwastedlores]

Homelander Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

I’m a Loki girl through and through, but a recent The Boys rewatch kinda got me obsessed with Homelander, so I thought I’d write a quick little angst fic based on the Somebody Else x My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys” mashup (which I have been playing non-stop by the way. My boyfriend has accepted this new way of life.)

Huge thanks to @blindmagdalena for encouraging me to write this! 

I haven’t written fiction in a while, so I hope this is good! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Homelander Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

Oh, here we go again. 

You put on a plastic smile while he holds your wrist in a death grip behind your back. 

The cameras flash incessantly, almost making your eyes water - whether that’s from the ache throbbing in your arms or the flashes, you can’t tell anymore. 

"Homelander! Are you going to cameo in A-Train’s multiverse movie!?"

"Homelander, is there a universe where you are A-Train!?" 

Homelander laughs, flashing his sharp pearly whites. He exudes charisma as he raises his hands to stop the line of questions. 

"I guess you’ll just have to catch the movie next week, boys!" 

He pulls you closer to him. "For now, the missus and I have to make it Vought for the premiere!" 

With a flourish, he flips his cape like the showman he is and then holds you as he launches, leaving the reporters in the dust. 

You feel your tears trail behind you as he whisks you to the penthouse. Normally, New York looks bejeweled from this incredible height. Tiny dots of lights up and down the massive steel and glass buildings. At this height, life is erased. Humans are erased. It’s tall shapes and big shadows, like an unfinished rendering of a video game. 

You’ve always loved flying, but you suspect you’re in for a hard time once your feet touch the marble floors in the penthouse.

------------------------------------------------------------- 

Homelander stayed silent for hours after getting home. You decided to bake him some banana bread - his favorite - and whip up a good old-fashioned chocolate milkshake. The scent of it usually makes him forget whatever he was angry about, but it doesn"t seem to be working right now. 

He paces the room, his rich red cape trailing behind him in the most dramatic way. Homelander has his theatric tendencies, and you have learned to indulge them. 

Even when the cost is high. 

"What’s wrong?" you ask despite your better judgment. 

"What could possibly be wrong? You’re the Jackie Kennedy to my John Kennedy. What could be wrong about that?" he snaps. 

"John…" 

"Why you?" he asks. "Why you and not me?" 

"Me BECAUSE of you, John; they wouldn’t care about me if I weren’t dating you!" 

He heaves, his eyes red without the aid of a laser. His chest rises and falls as his brain scrambles for a response. He is angry; no, he wants to be angry. He just wants something to rage about. 

He isn’t actually angry that the reporters swarmed the two of you and bombarded you with a hundred questions before paying attention to him. After all, the questions were about him. What’s he like as a boyfriend? What’s the cutest thing he’s done for you? Have you ever worn the cape? Would you ever be in a movie with him? 

No, there"s something else. You’ve given up trying to dig deep and find meaning in his outbursts because, more often than not, you get it wrong. Some obscure random thing might have happened 5 minutes or 5 years ago and he seethes about it before calming down. 

This is life now. 

"Are you actually mad at me?" you ask. "I won’t leave this penthouse if you don’t want me to." 

He laughs - a sarcastic, painful one. You’re all too used to this. 

Homelander looks you up and down as if scanning you. Assessing you. As if asking himself what you mean for his approval points and how you look on his arm. 

You are by no means perfect, but Homelander loved that about you. He never lied that you were the hottest one he’d been with or even the most intelligent. But he loved that you loved him. He loved that you forgave his outbursts and allowed him space to throw a tantrum or brood silently. 

He loved that you were patient with him, which is more than anybody had ever been with him. But he often tested that, too. 

"You know what, I think I'll do this premiere alone. I wouldn’t want you to feel out of place in such a big crowd." 

That stings. You’ve never been a showman or particularly extroverted, but you wanted to try. For him. And you thought you were getting pretty good at it, too. 

But you nod. There’s no use in arguing. 

Clearly, though, he isn’t done. "I mean, I know you hate putting yourself out there, and you end up a nervous wreck after these events. I don’t want to spend the night taking care of you." 

"Sure. I understand." 

Somehow, your neutral, bland response does not anger him. For some funny reason, it relieves him that he doesn't have to fight with you to get what he wants. 

He turns on his heel and exits the house without another word. 

------------------------------------------------------------- 

You exit the shower and spot the dress you were going to wear for the premiere. In typical Homelander fashion, he wanted you to match his colors rather than A-Train's colors. This was A-Train's night, but he'd be damned if you wore anyone else's aesthetic on your body. 

It’s a red-white-and-blue dress with a dramatic, asymmetrical neckline and fitted bodice with sparkling red and blue sequins transitioning into a voluminous, flowing skirt. Homelander picked it and got it tailored just for you. He knew the parts you were insecure about and made the designer alter the dress to ensure you felt your best. The poofy ball gown style skirt hid your ass, which you didn’t like the shape of. The neckline softened your broad shoulders, which you always felt made you look too masculine. But Homelander made sure the neckline didn’t hide your neck and collarbones, which you loved. 

You touch the rich satin fabric, your heart aching. You were so excited to show this dress off, hanging on to his arm as he flashed his charming, boyish smile. You consider wearing it, even if it's just to clean the kitchen, but decide against it. It would hurt too much. 

You put on a clean pair of sweats and potter to the kitchen. Pouring yourself a glass of wine, you decide to just watch the live broadcast of the premiere and make do with that. 

Three hours pass - you’re asleep on the couch at this point with the TV still running. The premiere ended, and now the channel is playing clips of all mentions of the multiverse in all the past movies. You’d watch if you weren"t so emotionally exhausted. 

A click of the front door wakes you, and through blurry eyesight, you see a smudge of red-and-blue enter. You prop yourself up and rub your eyes sleepily. 

"Hey." 

He sounds like he’s in a jolly mood. 

"Hey," you say back. "How was the premiere?"

"I missed you…" he says, voice dripping with sincerity. 

"I missed you too…" you bring your arms up as if inviting him to cuddle. 

You know he had a miserable time without you. He fucks things up for himself and comes back like a baby in need of consolation. 

Sure enough, he makes his way to the couch, where you’ve created a little nest of fluffy pillows and blankets, and practically falls onto you. You wrap your arms around him as tightly as you can while he buries his nose in your neck. 

"So. Is the movie every bit as terrible as you thought?" you ask, knowing he’s in the mood to shit-talk A-Train. 

"Worse," his voice comes muffled. "Terrible. Horrible. Garbage." 

You laugh and push him lightly so you can have an audible conversation. "Tell me about it." 

"It baffles me the bullshit Vought comes up with. So pointless and bland and unnecessary. And A-Train was eating it right up. Lapping up every last bit of praise like a fucking dog."

"A-Train looked lost in the spotlight. He cannot handle it like you do," you say. "Nobody does." 

A giddy smile crosses Homelander’s face. You pinch his cheeks lightly and then run your fingers through his perfect blonde hair. "Do you want to watch something half-decent and doze off on the couch?" you ask. 

"No… I want you to put that dress on so I can fly us to dinner."

You look at him, your heart twisting painfully in your chest. His boyish grin is disarming, softening your resolve just like it always does. You want to say no. You want to tell him you’re too tired, that the emotional whiplash of his moods has wrung you out like an old sponge. 

But you know that’s not what he wants to hear.

You force a smile instead. "Sure.”

You stand, your legs unsteady, as you head to the bedroom to slip on the dress. It feels heavier now than when you first tried it on. Maybe you’re tired. Maybe it’s just your mind playing tricks. 

You catch your reflection in the mirror. The dress is stunning—perfect, even. He had it made for you, tailored to his vision of you. But when you look at yourself, you see the hollow shell of the person you used to be. You see someone who bends and folds and breaks under the weight of his love.

You hear him calling from the living room, impatient. "You ready yet? You’re gonna knock 'em dead."

You close your eyes, gripping the edge of the dresser until your knuckles turn white. No, you cannot leave him. He needs you, and he doesn"t mean to be mean. He’s trying to make up for it, isn’t he? Stop being such a sensitive, emotional baby. Get the fuck out there and let him show you how sorry he is.

You enter the living room, the satin catching the light and making you look almost ethereal. Homelander is stunned by his own creation. 

"Gorgeous. Fucking perfect." 

You smile and do a little twirl, feeling like the most beautiful girl in the world. 

He rises from the couch, his cape draped dramatically over one shoulder, and strides toward you like a man who owns the world because he does. "You’re my queen. The only one who can keep up with me."

Yes, but do you want to? Or do you want to slow down a bit? Savor the small moments and not spend your life waiting for the next attack? 

You can do nothing but kiss him. He pulls you close by the waist and almost devours you in his frenzy. Waves of emotions crash over you, voices urging you to both switch off your brain and get far away from the broken man. 

How much more of this can you take? He will make it his mission to find out.

He pulls away and flashes his pearly whites. "Ready to lift off?" 

"Abso-fucking-lutely" you smile back. 

------------------------------------------------------------- 

The restaurant is one of the most exclusive in New York—floor-to-ceiling glass windows that overlook the city, tables spaced far apart to ensure privacy, and a waitstaff so attentive it’s almost suffocating. Homelander loves it here. Not because of the food, though it’s excellent, but because everyone here knows who he is. They don’t gawk or ask for autographs, but you can feel their reverence in every stolen glance, every hushed whisper. He thrives on it.

You sit across from him, the candlelight bouncing off the sequins of your dress. He's been in an unusually good mood since you arrived, and for a moment, you let yourself believe tonight might actually be different. He's been complimenting you all night, his eyes lingering on yours in a way that makes you feel like you're the only person in the world.

“See?” he says, leaning back in his chair with a self-satisfied grin. “I knew this dress was the one. Look at them.” He gestures subtly to the other diners, some of whom are clearly trying not to stare. “They’re jealous. You’re the most beautiful woman in the room.”

You smile faintly, murmuring a soft “thank you” as you sip your wine. It’s moments like this that make staying feel worth it. But then, as always, the warmth starts to curdle.

The turning point is subtle. It always is. He starts picking at his food, his jaw tightening ever so slightly. You can tell something’s shifted. You don’t know what triggered it this time—maybe it was the waiter who smiled a little too warmly at you or the couple at the next table who didn"t acknowledge him quickly enough.

“Do you think they’re staring at me or you?” he asks suddenly, his tone sharp enough to cut glass.

You blink, taken aback. “What?”

“I mean, they’re obviously looking at me,” he continues, his voice low and dangerous. “But you’re the one soaking it up, aren"t you? Sitting there like some fucking… princess.”

The words hit like a slap. “John, what are you talking about?”

He leans forward, his eyes narrowing. “You love this, don’t you? The attention. The glamour. The fucking dress. You think it’s all for you.”

“Of course, I don’t,” you say quietly, trying to keep your voice steady. “I came here because you wanted to. I’m here for you.”

“For me,” he repeats mockingly, his lips curling into a sneer. “That’s rich. You think I don’t see the way you look at them? Like you’re just waiting for someone better to come along. Someone who doesn"t scare you.”

“That"s not true,” you whisper, but your voice sounds hollow even to your own ears. You glance around nervously, hoping no one is listening. Of course, they are. Even if they can’t hear the words, they can feel the tension radiating off him like a live wire.

Somewhere, you blame yourself for enabling this behavior. Your timidness… your eagerness to please… your avoidance of conflict… it feeds him. If it were Starlight or Stormfront or anybody else, they would stand up to him and draw a boundary. And that’s what he needs - not a timid, sniveling fool who would bend over backward to play into his fantasies. 

He laughs bitterly, almost as if he agrees with your thoughts, and leans back in his chair. “You know what"s funny? You’re so scared of me, but you’re the real monster here. You just sit there, pretending to be this sweet, innocent thing, and you judge me for every little fucking thing I do or say.”

“I don’t judge you,” you protest weakly, your hands trembling in your lap. “I—”

“Save it,” he snaps, his voice rising just enough to make heads turn. “You’re just like everyone else. You love me when I’m the hero, but the second I let my guard down, you look at me like I’m some kind of freak.”

“John, please,” you beg, your voice barely above a whisper. “Can we not do this here?”

“Why not?” he says, his smile cold and cruel. “You embarrassed me at the premiere, didn’t you? Couldn’t even be bothered to show up. Do you know how pathetic that made me look?”

“I was just respecting what you asked of me. And I thought you said you missed me,” you say softly, tears stinging your eyes. 

“Yeah, well,” he says, waving a hand dismissively. “What do I know, right?.”

The rest of the dinner passes in a blur. He doesn"t apologize. He doesn"t even look at you. You pick at your food, your appetite long gone, and force yourself to smile when the waiter comes by to clear the plates. You feel like you’re suffocating, the weight of his words pressing down on your chest like a boulder.

When the bill comes, he doesn"t even glance at it. He tosses his card onto the table and leans back in his chair, looking more like a king about to call for an execution. 

“Ready to go?” he asks casually, as if nothing happened.

You nod, your face carefully blank. “Of course.”

------------------------------------------------------------- 

He flies you back to the penthouse in silence. The city lights blur beneath you, but you barely notice. Your mind is racing, your heart pounding. You know what you have to do. You’ve known for a while now, but tonight was the final straw.

When you land, he kisses your cheek and tells you he’s going to shower. “Don’t wait up,” he says with a wink, and then he disappears down the hall.

You wait until you hear the water running before you move. You slip out of the dress and back into your sweats, your hands trembling as you pack a small bag with just the essentials. You don’t know where you’re going yet—maybe a hotel, maybe a friend"s place—but you know you can’t stay here.

As you zip up the bag, you glance around the penthouse one last time. It feels empty, like a stage set after the actors have gone home. You think of all the times you convinced yourself this was enough. That he was enough. That you could fix him if you just loved him hard enough. And he would love once you fixed whatever was wrong with you. 

But you can’t. You know that now. He needs someone stronger. 

Braver. 

You leave the dress draped over the back of the couch, a silent goodbye. Then you slip out the door, the sound of the water still echoing in the distance.

For the first time in what feels like forever, you don’t look back.

------------------------------------------------------------- 

It happens on the fourth night. 

You"re staying at a hotel under an alias, the type of place he wouldn"t normally stoop to visiting. You"ve been trying to keep your head down, trying to breathe for the first time in what feels like years. But deep down, you knew it wouldn"t last.

When the knock comes at the door—sharp, insistent—you freeze. Your heart hammers in your chest. You don’t have to check; you already know it’s him. You’ve been bracing for this moment since the night you left. And honestly, he took longer than you expected. 

Still, when you open the door and see him standing there, you’re not prepared. He looks almost unhinged, his hair slightly mussed, his eyes blazing with something between fury and heartbreak. His red cape is gone, but the suit clings to him like a second skin. 

“I found you,” he says, his voice soft, almost tender, but there’s a dangerous edge underneath it. “Of course I did.”

You step back instinctively, your hands gripping the edge of the door. “How did you—”

“Don’t.” He pushes the door open with ease, stepping inside like he owns the place. “Don’t ask me stupid questions. You really thought you could hide from me? Me?” He laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “Come on, sweetheart. Give me more credit than that.”

“John…” you start, but he cuts you off, pacing the room like a caged animal.

“You left,” he says, his voice rising. “You just walked out. No note, no call, nothing. Do you know what that did to me? Do you have any idea?”

Your chest tightens. “I needed to.”

“Bullshit.” He spins to face you, his expression twisting with anger. “You didn"t need to do anything. You chose this. You chose to hurt me. After I rescued you from a pitiful existence and made something of you. Little Y/N wanted to be a writer but had no time. I rescued you from your shabby little apartment and gave you everything. Time. Money. Luxury. And this is what I get.” 

“I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” you say quietly, but your words only seem to inflame him further.

“No?” He stalks closer, his voice dripping with venom. “Then what do you call this? Running off in the middle of the night like a fucking coward? Hiding in some fucking run-down rat-shit hotel like you’re afraid of me?”

“I AM afraid of you,” you admit, the words tumbling out before you can stop them. His face freezes, a flicker of something almost like pain crossing his features before the anger returns.

“You’re afraid of me?” he repeats, his tone incredulous. “I’ve protected you. I’ve given you everything. Everything you asked and didn’t ask for. You sound so fucking ungrateful. I loved you.” 

The words hit like a slap. You take a step back, shaking your head. “That's not love, John. That's control.”

“Don’t,” he snarls, his voice trembling with fury. “Don’t you fucking psychoanalyze me right now. I loved you. I still love you. And you—” he can’t stop his maniacal laughter. He wags his finger at you. “You!” 

Tears well in your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall. “I just think this isn’t meant to be.”

“Oh, you’re a fortune teller now?”

“John…” 

“Such a fucking saint, aren't you, saving us all from unhappiness. Or…” he smiles. A dangerous smile. “There’s someone else!”

The question knocks the breath out of you. “What?”

“You heard me,” he says, his voice low and deadly. “There’s someone else, isn’t there? Is that why you left? Did you find someone who makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Someone who doesn"t scare you?”

“No,” you say, your voice breaking. “There’s no one else.”

“Then why?” he demands, his voice rising again. “Why did you leave me? Why did you—”

“Because it’s not love!” you scream. The first real, raw emotion you allow yourself to feel in forever. 

Homelander almost looks proud of you for it. 

“You keep being cruel to me. You keep saying horrible things, and I get it; I'm not intelligent or gorgeous or fucking V'd up like your other girlfriends, but GOD. Why are you with me if you hate me so much?” 

For the first time, you see Homelander shocked. “What? I don’t… I don’t hate you; what the fuck are you talking about?” 

You laugh in resignation and wipe your tears with the neck of your sweater. “Homelander, I’m not the one for you. I’m done.”

“You’re done? YOU are leaving ME?” 

He stares at you, his chest heaving, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. For a moment, neither of you speak. The silence is deafening. He’s confused that you think he hates you and cannot fathom why you would believe that. He gave you everything. In what universe is that hate? 

“I gave you everything,” he says, more to convince himself now, his voice raw. “I’m the best thing that ever happened to you.”

“I’m sorry,” you say again. Part of you wants to desperately say you want to be back together when things are better. When you are stronger, and he is kinder. You want to believe that once you fix you, he will miss you. He will return and be so much nicer. Softer. 

But you know that time may never come. 

Just at this moment, Homelander wishes his powers had allowed him to read minds, too. Your face inscrutable, he has nothing to latch on to. He looks at you like you’ve just plunged a knife into his chest. For a moment, you think he might lash out, that he might destroy the entire block in a fit of rage. 

But instead, he takes a step back, his expression crumbling.

“You’ll regret this,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’ll miss me. You’ll see.”

You nod, tears streaming down your face. “Maybe I will.”

He stands there for a moment longer, his fists clenching and unclenching, his jaw tight. Then, without another word, he turns and leaves, the door slamming shut behind him.

You collapse onto the bed, your entire body shaking. The weight of the confrontation crashes over you. Hot tears finally gush out as you clutch your pillow and sob quietly, knowing Homelander can still hear you. 

This isn’t over. Not yet. He will forever stalk the edges of your life, watching. Waiting for you to need him. 

You know Homelander well enough to know he doesn't let go of his toys without a fight.

------------------------------------------------------------- 

[atypicalamortentia]

They Find Out You're Pregnant

Synopsis - The Hogwarts Legacy characters find out you're pregnant!

Warnings - Slightly NSFW.

Notes - All characters are 18+!

Word Count - 0.8k.

[Caffeinate Me]

SEBASTIAN SALLOW isn’t surprised at all. The two of you had been having raw sex for months after you both agreed sex felt better without protection. It was only a matter of time before you fell pregnant. You waited until your first scan to tell him. You made a little baby box with the scan photo, your positive pregnancy test and a little babygrow with your expected date on it. Sebastian’s eyes lit up when he opened the box. Although you hadn’t been trying for a baby, he was excited. He pulled you into a hug so bone shattering that you were genuinely concerned he’d crack one of your ribs. You both talked into the night, coming up with baby names and talking about how the two of you had never thought you’d ever end up having children. Sebastian seems more excited than you, but after all, he isn’t the one that has to push a human out of him.

OMINIS GAUNT is over the moon. He’s the type of man to use protection until you’re both ready to have a baby, and when you finally are, the condom comes off. Ominis already has a variety of names picked out along with schools and various other things. Ominis finds out with you. After all, you had been trying to make a baby for a few months now that when you missed your first period, he ran to the shop to pick up a test for you. He was just as nervous as you were whilst you were awaiting the results. When the test came back positive, he’d begin to cry. Tears of joy, of course. He was determined to give your baby the life he never had growing up. He is prepared for every possible situation. Probably the best person to have a baby with. 

GARRETH WEASLEY is shocked. You only had unprotected sex one time when you were drunk??? He can’t seem to get it into his mind that it only takes once. He can’t shake the fear he feels when you show up to his home with the positive pregnancy test in hand. At first he’s in denial. It’s not that he doesn’t want a baby with you, this just isn’t how he thought it would happen. He wanted a memorable baby making story, but he can’t remember anything from that night other than the two of you woke up naked next to each other the next morning. You're both filled with fear, but after talking it through with each other you realise that you’re both ready to take this step together. It doesn’t take Garreth long to become excited at all. A mini-him! He hoped that your baby had your eyes and his red hair. Oh they would be the cutest baby ever. Will throw out obscure names that you obviously have to veto. 

LEANDER PREWETT is full of love and excitement. You’re actually having a baby with HIM. Of all people, you chose to start a family with HIM. He almost can’t believe his luck. You’re just as excited as he is when you first find out, running to your shared bedroom and throwing the pregnancy test at him. His eyes widen with surprise, but he stands from his laying position on the bed and pulls you into a passionate kiss. “I can’t wait to meet our baby,” he says softly into your lips. Even though you only find out at roughly 13 weeks, he cradles your stomach claiming that he can see your small bump forming. As soon as he finds out you're pregnant, Leander is talking to your stomach, explaining who he is and how lucky he is to have met you. Leander is so sweet to you and does everything for you as soon as he finds out you're expecting. Don’t even try to do something yourself, he’ll do it for you, don’t worry. 

AMIT THAKKAR is just as shocked as Garreth. He’s also slightly afraid of bringing a new person into the world. It’s a lot of responsibility. You explain to him that the two of you can do it as long as you’re together, and that seems enough to convince Amit. Once the fear subsides, he’s just as excited as the others. He goes baby clothes shopping before you even know the sex of the baby, buying the cutest gender neutral clothes he can find and surprising you with them when he comes home. He can’t wait to meet the baby and has a counter that counts down the days until your due date. Like Leander, he won’t let you raise a finger around the house once he finds out you're pregnant. All the house chores are for him to do, the cooking, the cleaning, everything. You just stay put, comfy and growing his child. That will make him the happiest man alive. 

[glyhpsrfvckincol]

Random owlhouse hc idea fo you

Reader barely gets called their actual name and is called a nickname to the point no one really know their name til someone asks if their name is actually the nickname and reader is like “ ha no”

My main thing is their nickname is a animal Mabye because their palismen is it

Nicknames || The Owl House

Synopsis - Various TOH characters asking if your nickname, which corresponds to your Palismen, is your real name.

Warnings - Many references.

Okay, side note.

My Palismen, he’s a frog with axolotl gills. 100% contemplating if I should add a shark fin. I don’t know what to colour him yet:(

Anyway-

A/n - If you want a part with the adults, let me know :D

Requests are opened; headcanons only

A list of nicknames corresponding to certain animals:

↳ Ferrets = Ferry (pronounced - fairy), kit

↳ Frogs = Froggy, Froppy, Mcfly, Kermit, Amphibia, Sprigs

↳ Birds = Chickie, Chica, Beaks, Fumikage, Ellie (I dunno know, your palismen might be an eagle), karasu (crow in japanese, according to google), Hedwig

↳ Duck = Ducky, Duckus, Qaucker, Waddles, Snickers

↳ Pig = Mabel, Waddles

↳ Cat = Garfield, Sphynx, Ghoul (corresponds to amity’s Palismen), kitkat, whiskers

↳ Deer = Antler, Specks (some deer have white dots on there fur, and it’s super pretty!), velvet (for when their antlers regrow), Bambi

↳ Spider = Webbs, Charlotte, Fang, Silky

Amity Blight

↳ You got your palismen when you were relatively young. Like 5 or sum-

↳ And your parents had given you a nickname based of your palismen. Cause the both of you are absolutely adorable.

↳ So, basically the only time they used your real name is used when you were in trouble. (Good luck, lol)

↳ Anyway, Amity has known you as N/n for years at this point. You introduced yourself to her as N/n, everyone has always called you N/n, and you even write N/n as your name on tests.

↳ So she had no reason to suspect your name was infact different from what she and everyone else knew it as.

↳ Until you had been called in as a suspect of being involved with the human girl by Belos, where he had written your birth name on the letter you’d been sent.

↳ Amity was shocked. And very confused.

↳ Amity when she read your name on the letter:

↳ So she questioned you.

↳ “N/n, has one of Belos coven scouts messed up who the letter was for?”

↳ You: ”???🤨 no?”

↳ ???

↳ “But, N/n, I’m almost certain your name isn’t Y/n, or did they just mix your name up?”

↳ And now we’ve found the problem.

↳ Amity doesn’t know your real name!!

↳ “Amity, I’ve just realised I’ve never told you my legal name is Y/n.”

↳ “But, you write N/n on where you sign your name, even school work.”

↳ “Oh, right, when my parents put me in Hexside, they were given an option on the paperwork that I would be able to have a preferred name, and they put N/n as the optional option.”

↳ “Oh.”

↳ Amity questions everything now. Mainly things to do with you and Luz.

Edric Blight

↳ He dumb, but it’s okay cause so am I. ✊😔

↳ He thought your Palismen was based off of your name so…

↳ Emira slapped him upside the head.

↳ He felt bad, cause he thought he was the only one who called you that.

↳ “I’m really sorry if you felt offended by me calling you P/n, I just thought they were based off of you.”

↳ :(

↳ Our poor boy 😭😭

↳ “Edric, it’s okay! I kind of told you it was my nickname, so I can’t blame you.”

↳ It’s best to tell him you prefer being called N/n, seeing as he will continue to feel like shit if you don’t.

↳ Now, he will either call you Y/n or N/n, just depends what comes to mind when he is either addressing you or talking to you.

↳ It confuses a lot of people, human and witches alike.

Emira Blight

↳ Asked you after a few days of being your friend.

↳ “So your Palismen, you have a nickname that matches it?”

↳ “Yeah.”

↳ “Cool.”

↳ Will tease you about it though, telling you it’s the cutest thing she’s EVER seen.<3

↳ Fastest to figure it out, everyone else took at least a few weeks.

Gus Porter

↳ Depending on the timeline, and wether you’re a witch, human or some other specie, also impacts how you got your nickname.

↳ Gus learns your name when you and him get put in detention.

↳ Principal Bump has caught you, Luz and Gus sneaking around Hexside, and throws you 3 + Matt into detention.

↳ Detention shrieks your names, before attempting to catch you and lock you in its pods.

↳ Gus is to terrified to question it about right then and there, but he does after Luz is accepted into Hexside.

↳ “Detention called you Y/N. How come?”

↳ “It’s my name??”

↳ *insert little dorky smirk*

↳ Gus just nods, also smiling.

↳ “Both your name and nickname are cool.”

↳ He gives you a fist bump, partly cause your names are awesome, mostly cause surviving detention is not only difficult but equally terrifying and it’s respectable you got out with him and Luz.

↳ Rip Matt.

Hooty

↳ He gives you a nickname within a nickname.

↳ And then forgets your nickname.

↳ But it’s okay cause we love him all the same!

↳ Hooty is always shocked when Luz or Eda call you by your nickname, cause that’s not your name!

↳ Was even more shocked when he learned your name was actually Y/n.

↳ “But I call you H/n (Hooty’s Nickname), and everyone else calls you N/n! How are neither your real name!?”

↳ Ensues him beating the coven scouts harder the next time they try to arrest Eda.

↳ Hooty forgets your name again btw.

↳ Just let him think H/n is your name to avoid maximum chaos.

Hunter Noceda

↳ He meets you during the hunting Palismen episode. You and Luz had been sitting in the little house the bat queen had for the babies so she could have a Palismen.

↳ You had gotten your Palismen the day before along with the rest of your class and Luz gave you several nicknames, trying to figure out which ones would suit you and your baby best.

↳ It took her 20 minutes I shall add.

↳ Anyway- when Hunter came to take the Palismen back to Belos, he heard Luz use your nickname, and just assumed it was your real name.

↳ This dork however, didn’t bother using your ‘name’ and instead called you ‘wild witch’. Any witch associated with the human is known as a wild witch.

↳ Basically up until you’re all in the human realm, Hunter only knows you as N/n, and doesn’t really question you about whatsoever.

↳ Then Luz introduces all of you to Vee and Camila, where she uses your real name.

↳ “And this is Y/n, but we all call them N/n cause it matches their Palismen.”

↳ Hunter just stands there, processing the information.

↳This boy is so clueless, that he asks you about, wanting you to confirm it.

↳ “N/n isn’t your real name like Luz said, right?”

↳ “Yeah, it’s actually Y/n, Luz is the one who gave me the nickname.”

↳ “Oh.”

↳ And then he continues on with his day.

↳ Will use either your nickname or real name, it’s just whatever comes to mind when he talks to you.

King

↳ Met you through Luz, as one of her first friends:D

↳ He just called you a puny mortal. At first at least.

↳ He slowly shifted into calling you N/n, as he got closer to you.

↳ King knew that your name was odd, but he didn’t question it. Mainly cause last time he questioned something, Tinella Nosa appeared.

↳ And with Eda giving you nicknames, as well as Luz, it just confuses him a tad bit more.

↳ King wants to ask you, just to stop being confused.

↳ But he’s shy, and ask Luz for help.

↳ “Conejito, what was the inspiration behind N/n?”

↳ king is just sitting on her shoulder.

↳ “P/n. When I first got them, my dad just started calling me N/n. I guess everyone caught on cause no one calls me Y/n anymore.”

↳ King: 😲

↳ King just stares into your soul. He didn’t actually think N/n wasn’t you’re real name, just thought it was an odd name.

↳ For a little after this, he’ll switch between your names, sounding very unsure whenever he says it, u til it just becomes natural again.

Luz Noceda

↳ Eda definitely gave you the nickname.

↳ Eda’s probs given you near to a few 100 by now.

↳ So Luz knew you as N/n.

↳ Because that’s how Eda introduced you to Luz.

↳ Luz found out what your real name was when Gus used it to greet you back in “I Was a Teenage Abomination.”

↳ “Wait, is N/n just another one of Eda’s nicknames?!? 😱

↳ You: 😊

↳ You just smile innocently at her, like Dustin Henderson when he was 12-

↳ Luz just questions life. Forever. Will give you her own nickname.

Matt Tholomule

↳ He got so annoyed when he found out. Like how dare you >:(

↳ Only he was supposed to lie about his name.

↳ “Neither of us lied though? You have everyone call you by your full name and I just had a nickname related to my Palismen.”

↳ But he don’t listen to reason. He a petty bitch-

↳ Matt found out via Steve.

↳ Let’s set the scene.

↳ You and Matt, hanging out, and it just so happens to be Steve’s off day.

↳ He walks past Matt’s room as the two of you are arguing over what a humans favourite food is.

↳ He thinks it’s normal for humans to eat actual eggs. As in the shells.

↳ You’re probably friends with Luz, which means it’s more than likely come up in conversation when you’ve offered her food.

↳ “Ohhhh, you’re Shiba’s nibling, Y/n, right?”

↳ “Huh? That’s not her name Dumbass! Now get out!”

↳ “I’m not in your room though, I’m standing outside it.” 😌😌

↳ Which lead to a conversation about you lying to him.

↳ As if HE didn’t lie either.

↳ “Matt, shut up, and stop telling people your first name is Mattholomule, you sound dumb.”

↳ “Hypocrite.”



The Collector

↳ He never asked your name. Just called you play date, or best friend.

↳ Doesn’t even fathom the idea of you having your own name besides the one he gave you.

↳ Until King accidentally used your birth name.

↳ King knew you from adventures he had with Luz, seeing as you were his friend too.

↳ You just got unlucky, and got very stuck in the demon realm.

↳ Yes, you’re forced to call her ‘mom Odalia’-

↳ And when Collector found out, he was so confused.

↳ Like ??? What do you mean the name I gave you isn’t your real name?? You’re so mean! :(

↳ How dare you! >:(

Vee Noceda

↳ She figured it out on her own. (Cause she smart🤓)

↳ When she first met you, she also met your Palismen.

↳ “You and your Palismen match really well!”

↳ Yes, that is how she starts the conversation, give out baby a break >:(

↳ Vee is smiling at you, rubbing her hands and is swinging back and forth on her feet.

↳ “Uh, yeah! P/n really cool! They can do this thing! It’s-“

↳ And your dorkly explain every cool thing your Palismen can do!

↳ “That’s epic! It’s also really cool you’re nickname matches them!”

↳ God bless you a-dork-able nerds!

Willow Park

↳ Willow suspected NOTHIN’.

↳ Just thought it was a coincidence or that your Palismen was passed down to you! This depends on the timeline.

↳ For a very long time, she knew you as N/n.

↳ But when you, her, Gus and Luz get called to principal Bumps office, that changed quickly.

↳ “Y/N, I taught your parents, I know they wouldn’t approve of this behaviour.”

↳ You may or may not have set fire to one of the school rooms…

↳ Y/n?? Huh?

↳ Since the 4 of you were being lectured, Willow made sure to ask you later.

↳ “Uh N/n, do you have another name? Cause I’m principal Bumps office he called you… something else.”

↳ She forget what Principal Bump addressed you as, but that was fine!

↳ “Oh! Yeah, my legal name is Y/n. Boscha started calling me N/n in a teasing way but others thought it was meant to be affectionately and also started calling me that. It’s a cute nickname so I don’t mind.”

↳ “Oh… are you comfortable with me calling you N/n?”

↳ My sweet baby!

↳

[am-i-interrupting]

Hear me out Caitlyn and Jinx x pregnant reader

Caitlyn

She is so happy.

Absolutely giddy when you tell her.

She goes to every doctor appointment.

She is storing all the baby pictures away.

She will be buying so many cute baby clothes.

She will absolutely take on your work for you if you can’t do it.

Constantly reminding you to eat and drink and don’t pick up heavy things.

A researcher at heart, she is looking up every single sign and what it means and how to parent and what to expect with a newborn.

If there’s a baby shower she is telling people not to just get toys but you need diapers and clothes past newborn sizes and you don’t just need bottles but baby formula and a lot of it because some kids just won’t take to certain types.

Gives you feet massages.

Will constantly tell you that you get gorgeous.

When the baby comes she is so happy and excited.

Holds it like it’s an Angel.

You’ve never seen her glow up as much as you did when you woke up and saw her holding the little baby, bouncing it as she told it a story.

Jinx

She is so fascinated that there is a human inside that stomach.

She will feel your stomach as often as you’ll let her.

She also gets you so many clothes that are just meant to bring attention to the baby bump. It’s her favorite thing ever.

She will spew out information you kind of wish she hadn’t and say things that aren’t wrong but Jinx, why would you say that?

“Babies are a type of parasite when you think about it. I mean, they’re making you sick and taking away vital nutrients from you but instead of just getting some blood disease you get a little person at the end of it! Isn’t that so weird?”

When the baby starts kicking she will like it back.

If it is on your ribs or your bladder she will rub your stomach while telling it off.

It is very responsive when she sings.

She is painting and fixing the baby room.

Jinx is very strong, especially for her size but if there’s something that needs to be moved to the baby room that she can’t pick up Sevika is doing it whether she likes it or not.

“My beloved partner is carrying a baby, Sevika. You can carry a fucking box.”

She will buy and make it toys.

Absolutely gets the cutest baby clothes. Topside expect some robberies for baby clothes because your baby deserves the best.

When the baby comes she is so much more nervous than she thought she’d be.

She is absolutely terrified that she’d drop them.

If you’re asleep while she tries to figure it out, she’ll turn to Silco for help but he’s just as clueless as she is about how to hold a baby. A child, maybe but a baby, no. He hasn’t had to do that.

A nurse will have to show her and reassure her that she’s holding them correctly.

When you wake up, she is holding them so delicately, so carefully, so very obviously terrified but she coos at them nonetheless.

[coyotestarcraft]

I’d Sacrifice Myself For You Dorks Any Day (Part 2)

Good Omens Imagines

A/N: Sorry it took a while, but it’s finally done! It’s extra long because why not?

Warnings: Cussing, Blood, Injuries, panic attack.

Part 1

——————————

After being discharged from the hospital, you went home to recover.

“Easy love, the couch isn’t going anywhere.” Crowley chuckled at how fast you wanted to go inside and rest.

“He’s right.” The angel smiles.

“Sorry, I just wanna sleep.” Your eyes are drooping already and the boys are concerned you might not make to Crowley’s flat, so instead the demon picks you carrying you all the way up so you don’t hurt yourself.

“Baby goat, you gotta take your medicine before you sleep.” Crowley said, you groaned but took it anyway when it was handed to you.

“Sleep well my love.” Aziraphale softly kissed your cheek as sleep took over.

*Dream*

Shax had come to kill you for meddling with Aziraphale and Crowley.

But you weren’t going to let her just take them away without a fight, the boys tried telling you not to fight her but in the end it wouldn’t matter, your temper was off the charts to be stopped now.

*After Fighting (cause I’m too lazy to write it, sorry)*

You stood on wobbly legs, facing Shax as she stood in front of you with her hands covered in your own blood.

Your face was covered in blood from when she slashed your eye leaving three angry marks dripping in blood, as many cuts and bruises littered your body as well.

“You foolish human, you’ll never amount to anything ever, your just a waste of space.” She snarled with a smirk breaking out on her face.

“FUCK YOU!” You screamed.

She gave you one last chance to surrender but you weren’t losing anyone else, in a desperate attempt to save the boys you lunged at Shax, knocking her off the bridge into the water for her to rot.

The last you heard before passing out “Y/N! Hold on love we’re coming!”

“y/n…” a voice called from somewhere unknown.

“Y/n…”

“Y/N love wake up!” Azira’s voice finally filtered through just enough to startle you awake.

You shot up from your spot on the couch, a loud gasp erupted from you, soon deep, fast breaths left you, a panic attack was happening.

“My love, look at me, it’s okay, your safe.” Aziraphale tried to hug you but it only made you panic more, you flinched at the thought of even being close to anyone.

“Sweetheart, I know your scared, it’s okay, take some deep breaths for me.” Crowley was never this soft, not even with Aziraphale but in the current moment he didn’t care, all he wanted was for you to feel safe and loved.

“I-I c-can’t! I-I cant b-breathe!” You whimper out unable to take in any air, 10 seconds passed until your throat finally starts to open, you gasp for air as you accidentally squeeze your wrists too tight.

“I’m taking your hands so you don’t hurt yourself okay?” Crowley says, you give a shaky nod, slowly taking in air.

“Your doing amazing love, take some more deep slow breaths for me.” The angel smiled, his hand gently moving up and down your back soothingly.

You leaned forward to put your head in the crook of Crowley’s neck, you hiccup as you start to calm down, “there you go baby, we’ve got you.” He cooed.

A few minutes passed when they both heard soft snores coming from you.

Crowley gently layed you down on the couch, covering you back up with the blanket you were snuggling with. “Sleep love, we’re here and we aren’t leaving.” Aziraphale cooed as he kissed your temple.

You slept peacefully with your head in Crowley’s lap, he eventually moved you to be more comfortable so he could help Aziraphale cook dinner.

————

A soft hand carded through your hair as you slept.

Crowley cooed until you started to wake up making the cutest noises he’s ever heard, course he’d never admit it out loud.

“There’s my sweetheart, it’s dinner time love.” He smiled as you peeled open your eyes letting out a small yawn.

“What’s cooking?” You asked as you threw the blanket off you and stretched.

“Chicken Parmesan with a salad.” The angel responded from the kitchen.

“Sounds good, I’m so hungry.” You smile as Aziraphale sets a plate down in front of you.

You take a bite and instantly melt in your seat, it’s been at least a week since you had a real home cooked meal. “It’s good I assume?” The angel smiles.

“Mhm, very good, thank you for dinner.” You smile back at your angel, he came over to kiss your cheek lovingly before digging into his own plate.

A while later you are snuggled between the boys watching a movie.

Soon after you fell asleep, Aziraphale carried you to bed with Crowley close behind.

They both tucked you into bed as snug as a bug in a rug.

“Goodnight my love.” Aziraphale kissed your forehead before wishing Crowley goodnight.

“G’ night sweetheart, night angel.” The demon responded back as both celestial beings let their wings out to wrap around you.

Recovery was always comfortable if it meant two celestial beings were by your side.

————

Thank you for reading!

If you have any requests you want me to write feel free to send them in. I want to try NSFW requests so feel free to send those too.

[merrodi]

☆ Chocomimi Volume 6 English Translation / Chapter 1

Translated through phone scans and my limited knowledge of Japanese! I appreciate any and all corrections.

This series was a big part of my childhood but localization had stopped after volume five, so I’ve decided to translate as much as I can for fun. I hope someone out there enjoys!

link to purchase this book (japanese only)

Note: comments in italics are words spoken outside of the bubble. (comments in parenthesis are thought, not spoken) [comments in brackets are words contained inside a bracket]

This comic is traditionally read right to left, top to bottom.

(skipping over the character pages for now because they’re a lot to translate)

☆ Reading ☆

Choco: It’s autumn, the best season for reading! Choco: Guys, how about we all read books and write down our impressions of them?

Mumu: okay! Is a fashion magazine alright? Choco: Can you please choose something that has a story?

Mimi: okay! Is a shoujo manga alright? Choco: Could you please choose something that doesn’t have pictures?

Mikachin: okay! Is a Japanese dictionary alright? Choco: As long as you’re using it to write down your impressions…

☆ Recommended ☆ Mimi: Mikachin, I read the book you recommended~♡ (New universe theories)

Mikachin: Really? How was it? Mimi: (ehe) Difficult to get through, but interesting!

Mikachin: I see. Mimi, you’re very admirable. Mimi: (honestly, I didn’t understand any of it, but I’m glad I read it anyways)

Mumu: Woah, what’s with the difficulty in this? Mumu: I’m trying to read it, but it’s impossible.

Mikachin: Is that so?  Mikachin: Should I explain to you the parts you don’t understand? Mimi: gasp!

Mikachin: Come over to my house after school today. there’s cake, too. Mumu: huh——- okay, sure. Mimi: ((I made a mistake!!)) how nice…

☆ The Next Day ☆

Mimi: Mumu-chan, did you go to Mikachin’s house yesterday? Mumu: hm? I did.

Mumu: The two of us read the book the whole time in Mikami-kun’s room. I got sleepy. Mimi: (just them alone in Mikachin’s room?!)

Mumu: Halfway through, I fell asleep. Mumu: Mikami-kun ended up giving me a piggyback ride to my house. He’s really kind, huh.  Mimi: (A PIGGYBACK RIDE FROM MIKACHIN?!!??) AAAHHH….

Mimi: I’d also like to be an idiotic and inconsiderate human being… I envy Mumu-chan... sigh… Andrew: You’re already idiotic and inconsiderate enough.

☆ Girls ☆

Mikachin: Sometimes I just don’t get girls, y’know? Andrew: Huh? what happened?

Mikachin: on Snow White... Mikachin: If a stranger covered from head to toe in black offered you an apple… would you normally eat it? Witch: here, take this apple Snow White: oh dear

Andrew: I wouldn’t eat it. That’s way too suspicious. Mikachin: and Little Red Riding Hood, too… Mikachin: The wolf was pretending to be her grandmother in her house…

Mikachin: To not be able to tell the difference from a beast to a human… is that even possible? Red: Gramma, why are your ears so big? Andrew: That’s just how fairy tales are.

☆ Tears ☆

Choco: Speaking of emotional stories… Choco: Once in a while, I’m hit with the desire to really want to read one.

Mumu: I know what you mean! The more you cry, the better it is. Choco: Exactly! I have to read those alone, because tears end up falling from my face.

Mumu: Exactly! And that’s when I snap a pic of my crying face!

Mumu: I like verifying that my crying face is the cutest thing ever~ it’s the photo after I was reading Choco: Sorry, can’t relate to that whatsoever.

☆ Shoujo Manga ☆ 

Choco: Mimi, the manga you lent me is so interesting! I really relate to the main character. Mimi: The protagonist Shouko is really similar to you, Choco!

Choco: Isn’t the transfer student Shindou-kun also a bit like Ando? Choco: Her close friend Yumi is just like you, Mimi, and almost predictably, Matsuda-sensei is like Take-chan, too! (The manga she’s reading is called chocomint)

Mimi: [hehe… Choco doesn’t know this yet, but in volume five, Shouko and Shindou confess to each other and find out they have mutual feelings~] Shindou: please go out with me. Mimi: [and also, Yumi, the girl that Choco said looked like me]

Mimi: [confesses to her homeroom teacher, Matsuda-sensei] Matsuda-sensei: You moron! Matsuda-sensei: I’m going to use this triangle ruler’s 30-degree angle to stab you! Mimi: [that’s just horrible, honestly…] It seems so depressing...

☆ Bible ☆

Choco: Mimi, what book are you reading? Mimi: The “How to Be a Good Woman Book”! If you read it, you’ll become a wonderful lady!

Mimi: Ah, it’s essential that a good woman has an attractive lover! Mimi: I guess I’ll have to study up on the “How to Find a Great Boyfriend Book”.

Mimi: Ahhh… but there’s no doubt that a wonderful boyfriend would also be popular with the ladies… Mimi: I’ll have to research the "Affair Detection book”...

Mimi: sigh… and I’ll need to read the “Getting Back Up After a Broken Heart Book” after we split up from the cheating… I can’t get depressed now! Choco: ah... the only thing she’s learning is delusion…

Fashion tips section!

☆ Feelings ☆ 

Choco: Ando, have you read this too? It’s a book about understanding your pet’s feelings! I borrowed it from Mimi! Ando: nah, I don’t need it.

Choco: Ahh.. you already know whatever Picho’s thinking, huh. Ando: Not at all, but…

Ando: Even if we never reach understanding over an entire lifetime, it’s okay. Ando: If that’s how it is, then I’d be pleased just guessing as to how I can make her smile… thinking of my beloved companion day and night…

Ando: Isn’t that the key to continuing to love other people? Choco: What’s with your dialogue sounding like it’s coming from a master of love?

☆ Returning a Favor ☆ (this is based off a japanese tale called tsuru no ongaeshi)

Bambi: Like a crane who comes to return a favor, Picho turns into a human before your eyes! Bambi: What would you do?

[One night, Picho had opened the door and returned in the appearance of a beautiful maiden...] Picho: Good evening... Ando: That wouldn’t be bad…

Mikachin: Wait, Picho is a girl? I thought he was a guy this whole time. Bambi: Oh yeah, and Picho’s also a little kid. So instead…

Bambi: One night, Picho opened the door and had returned in the appearance of an elementary school boy with a shaved head! Ando: Absolutely not.

☆ Heroine ☆

[A great man’s entire life will remain in history through books.] [His story will be read by all.]

Jin: Wouldn’t it be nice if there were books about ordinary people, not just the greats? Jin: A book written about an ordinary person’s life from their birth up to their death!

Aoi: Would that be interesting to read about? Jin: There’s a chance it wouldn’t be interesting, and there’s a chance it wouldn’t have a happy ending…

Aoi: right? Aoi: (But, if it’s Jin-kun’s book, I might be interested in reading it...)

[If it’s Jin-kun’s book, then I think it’d definitely be happy.] Jin: look, that cloud is like taiyaki! [How many pages in it will I appear?]

Aoi: (No, it’s not how many pages… how many lines?…) Aoi: (Oh…I wonder if I’ll be able to make an appearance at all...) Jin: You know…

Jin: It’s fine if I end up not reading about Aoi-chan’s life.

Aoi: (I-is it…because it’d be so insignificant?!) Jin: or should I say, I wouldn’t have to go to the trouble of reading it.

Jin: Whatever happens in Aoi-chan’s life, my eyes will have seen ALL of it, so that’s why I wouldn’t need a book. Jin: We’ll be together forever, yeah?

Aoi: ........ Aoi: Forever?

Jin: Yep, forever. Aoi: Even when we become adults? Jin: Yup, foreverrrrr. Aoi: I see…

[Then, my book] Jin: look, that cloud is a heart-♥️ Aoi: You’re right. [Will surely have a happy ending.]

[erin-bo-berin]

I need some steve fluff I don’t even know lol give me something …anything hahah

OKAY SO.

Imagine Steve and your baby’s first Christmas. He isn’t a year old yet but say 8-9 months. He’s crawling, he can sit and actually play a bit, so he can have a bit of fun.

Steve wakes up early, letting you sleep in just a little bit longer and goes to check on his little guy. He’s awake, standing in his crib, waiting to be picked up. He gets so excited to see one of his favorite people—daddy.

He squeals and Steve’s heart melts every single time he hears his little boy call him “da da”. He can’t believe this little human is part him and he’s a father. It’s been almost a year, but sometimes he still can’t believe it’s real.

“Well hello there, little man,” he’d chuckle, picking him up out of his crib, “You’re up so early, I’m sure you must’ve caught Santa sneaking out. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

Baby boy Harrington just babbles happily, glad to be out of his crib and in his daddy’s arms.

“You ready for your first ever Christmas? It’s the first of many.”

Of course, Steve has him dressed in the cutest little candy cane striped footie pajamas. When Steve pointed them out in the store to you, you couldn’t resist.

Steve put little guy in them the prior evening and your little baby sized clone of Steve looks adorable in them.

“Mommy’s been so busy with you lately, I’m letting her sleep in just a bit longer. I’m sure you won’t mind too much waiting to open presents.”

Steve sits with him in the rocking chair in the corner of the room, telling him all about yours and his Christmas traditions.

“We split our day between going to your mommy’s parents house and then we go to grandma Joyce and grandpa Hopper’s for the big get together. Everyone seems to drop in all afternoon. There’s lots of good food, lots of fun and lots of presents. Something tells me you’re going to get spoiled this year.”

Baby boy definitely was considering there was half a dozen presents from him, just from the kids alone. They loved their little nephew so much.

“But first, we have Christmas breakfast together. Just your mommy and me. Well now you too, buddy. Last year you were still in mommy’s tummy so you weren’t out here with us to celebrate. Mommy fed you lots of good food though considering you were kicking happily all day, according to her.”

Your son is just staring up at Steve, sucking on his fist, enraptured by the sound of his voice.

“We usually have cinnamon rolls for breakfast. From a can—it’s easiest for me to make. I’ll warn you now kiddo, daddy isn’t the best cook. Then we open presents. I’m sure you’re going to have more fun with the boxes and wrapping paper than the actual gifts, but you’re cute, so I can’t complain.”

“Then after a long day of family, friends, food and gifts, your mommy and I are usually so tired we end up coming home and crashing. Last year, you wore mommy out so much I found her asleep in the hallway by the front door. She’d sat down to take off her shoes and promptly fell asleep.”

Steve chuckles at the memory and baby boy coos.

“But this year, I get to fall asleep after a great Christmas Day with the best woman and best little guy ever. How does that sound for a Christmas?”

“I think it sounds wonderful,” you’d say from the doorway where you’d been listening to Steve talk to your son.

He looks back at you with a grin and then stands, his mini me in his arms.

“Then let’s get this Christmas started.”

You both laugh as your son shrieks with joy, clearly agreeing with his daddy.

[your-local-hoemie]

Can i request childe and zhongli with s/o that has an army of plushies to sleep and cuddle with? S/o even names and take cares of every single one like their s/o's child 😭

Not me reading this while surrounded by my four blahaj’s and a 3ft llama plushy 💀

Sorry theses are kinda short, I’m struggling with Childe for some reason and I need to get back into the swing of writing ;-;

Warnings: fluff, gn!reader,swearing, tiny mention of the icky in childes, not proof read.

Characters: Childe, Zhongli.

Childe~

He’d never been over to your house before today so when you opened your bedroom door to reveal your bed practically COVERED in plushies he was surprised to say the least

Though his confusion quickly turns to amusement when you start introducing him to every single fucking one

“Oh Oh I can leave out (plush’s name) isn’t he just the cutest!?”

“Babe why didn’t you tell me I had competition..”

Absolutely gets kinda jealous when you choose to cuddle up with them instead of him-

Decides to buy a custom plush that looks like him for you

Actually had the balls to ask Scara if he can make one

Man almost died that day 💀

You end up playing into his “toy maker” facade for Teucer

Speaking of Teucer, he absolutely adores you!!

Childes heart melts whenever he see’e you both playing together~

It’s now a new ritual that you both choose the names for your new plushies!

One time it got so intense that you both ended up having a actual argument 💀

Overheard you ranting to all your plushies about it and thought it was adorable

Ended up holding a personal grudge against that one plush and death glares it whenever he see’s it-

Would absolutely be down to have tea parties!!

Even helps you choose fancy lil’ clothes if you like to dress them up!

You gave him one of those cute lil’ plushy keychains once that said “I love you” and he secretly keeps it on his person at all times~

Man adores you so being the sugar daddy he is you can rest assured he’ll gladly fuel your addiction

He just likes seeing your pretty face light up whenever you gain a new baby to cherish

If you’re sick or he has to go away for a while he’ll gather you and all the plushies together and sternly tell them to look after you for him!

Actually grew a habit of asking you how “the kids” are whenever he gets home!

If you’re having spicy time though he’ll refuse to do it in the same room as them 💀

He’ll never admit it but he’s grown to see them as actual children and the thought of “tainting” is unbearable hdjfjfif

If you’re away on commissions for a few days or weeks he’ll absolutely like to sleep around them when he misses you too much!

Zhongli~

Actually found it a little creepy at first 💀

“My dear these are simply stuffed toys, why do you treat them like a human child?”

Scold this mf

After a while of seeing how happy you get around them he starts to warm up!

Still doesn’t quite understand it but he thinks you’re adorable and your happiness is everything to him!

He once caught you telling your plushies about him while giggling and hugging onto to them and couldn’t help but let out a chuckle

You really are too cute sometimes

Man’s actually really good at choosing names!!

He’ll also give them backstories and important roles!

Has a select few he actually really likes and has secretly decided to promote them to your “protectors”

Tells you that he’s made sure they’ll keep you safe from any nightmares when he can’t ;-;

You convinced him to have a tea party with you and all your plushies once!

He’ll die before he admits it but he actually got excited!

Brought out his fanciest tea set for ya’ll!

Somehow ended up with a tiara on?

Xiao happened to appear behind him ti discuss something and the look on both of their faces was the funniest thing you’ve ever seen

Absolutely MORTIFIED

“W-what are you- I apologise it seems I’ve caught you at a bad time”

“No! I mean I was just showing Y/N how to properly prepare tea..cough”

They never spoke a word of it again

When you had to leave for a while you gave him gave him precise instructions on how to care for every single one

Followed them to the fucking letter

Discretely of course~

Told them all about his day and scolded himself when he caught himself asking them to tell you all about it when you got home

You’ve definitely brought out a more innocent child-like side to him and it’s precious!

Something about the way you show so much love and compassion to such simple objects warms his heart so much

He doesn’t really get jealous but he will be a little pouty if you choose to cuddle up to them while sleeping instead of him

When he asks granny Shan to make you a doll that looked like him for when you missed him he couldn’t help but get flustered with her teasing calling you “young love birds”

When he saw how you hugged it and gave the plush kisses all over its face before proceeding to do the same to him he felt so much pride!

Though don’t expect it to be a constant thing

He’s still broke asf 💀

I’m back at requests again!! Work should be a lot less intense now the coronation in the uk is over so more time to indulge in my Genshin addiction!

Early sleep for me now uwu

[serafilms]

just some of my fav content that kpop (boy) groups have put out (very specific!!!)

i spend many an hour on it (like actually just one hour) because i don’t want to work on my wips!!!

nct 127 hit the states: haechan x dallas

HAECHAN SILVER HAIR HAECHAN SILVER HAIR i will never shut up. this and purple and we go up brown/rainbow are his best looks idgaf. they’re just soo cute here and having so much fun and i can’t even believe how fun it looks :(( i wanna have a day like this

nct 127 hit the states: mark x vancouver

such a beautiful scenery and seeing mark be so happy in his hometown w the rest of 127 is so cute. taeil and jungwoo are so funny here too

boynextdoor pretty u cover

SLAYED! nothing more to say. i love bnd performances they ate down period.

beomgyu kids’ café on workman

the editing is so funny in this video PLS and the way the little girls all hated him but the boys were obsessed with him 😭 the café staff are so fun and nice too 👍 i love beomgyu sm

nct dream candy mv

no explanation required. once you candy you never stop candying. the cutest music video EVER i love it so much. nct dream mv’s always EAT. hello future, we go up, chewing gum, go, life is still going on (track video but still cute), hot sauce

txt lo$er=lover office attack version

so creative and fun and they look so good 😋

nct dream rooftop fight

so glad they actually did this bc i was waiting for it for so long 😭 they hyped it up for so many years did NOT disappoint. nct will never not be funny.

stray kids fancy cover

THE WAY I ACTUALLY FORGOT THIS HAPPENED UNTIL JUST NOW WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH MY YOUTUBE PLAYLIST. omg we moved on too soon

boynextdoor funnextdoor

i’m actually in the process of watching it rn but i’m actually so amazed at how genuine and funny they are?? usually a lot of groups (excluding survival show groups) take a while to warm up to the cameras and talk to them and be natural around them and their members in front of them, but you can really tell how comfortable bnd are with each other and even though they’re warming up the the cameras, they’re so cute about it and so natural and outgoing that it’s not awkward at all and so fun to watch! and on that note….

boynextdoor what? door!

they’re so funny omg also bc why are hybe editors so slay?? will never stop promoting bnd (+zb1!!! love riize too but they have sufficient hype tbh i need bnd appreciation!! 5th gen boy groups let’s gooooo)

zerobaseone zbtv

ok so this list actually isn’t specific anymore but can u blame me. they’re so funny in all of the episodes how am i to choose just one. zb1 are quite literally one of the absolute funniest groups I’ve ever seen. love them sm PLEASE stan before they disband 😞

eunchae star diary with sunghoon and heeseung

EUNCHAE !!!!! she’s so cute i love eunchae star diary 😭 this was more awkward than the jake ni-ki one tbh but it was really cute too 👍 and the way sunghoon kept trying to weasel out the tea from her like leave that girl alone hoon 😭😭

honourable mentions to the kyujin and hiyyih episodes too!! bc it’s so fun to see eunchae with her friends

en o’clock episode 12

the one where they did like the high up line training course thing idk what it’s called and they were wearing camo print like military ish stuff idk man but it’s so funny and their early days r so cute

en o’clock episodes 32 and 33

the irl among us episodes 😭😭

boys planet jelly pop

MY GODDDDDD JELLY POP ZHANG HAO I LOVE U SM. i wish he liked women and was 4 years younger and went to my uni. i purchased many zhang hao pc’s recently. jelly pop my #7 most played song in spotify. i watched it too many times. saved so many edits. ilysm king.

txt idol human theatre when they went to that house

the way the managers lifted taehyun out of the pool gets me every single time 😭😭😭

txt idol human theatre during blue hour era

my fav idol human theatre episode EVER. so funny and i love blue hour era sm‼️

stray kids family 3rd anniversary

skz with wigs will never not be iconic. and why did jeongin and felix lowkey devour acting elderly like???

to do x txt flying yoga episode 83

i love this episode so much actually omfg PLEASEE they’re so funny 😭 kpop idols doing any kind of strenuous movement exercise is my favourite content ever

to do x txt self defense episode 104

this one is CRIMINALLY underrated actually. wdym both parts don’t have 1 million views at least? can’t tell you how many times i had to rewind bc i was enjoying it so much 🫶🫶 i have plans to rewatch this soon so i also can learn some self defense moves.

run bts episode 55

this whole trip starts from ep 53 but them slapping each other’s asses and trying not to laugh is one of the funniest things i’ve ever watched actually,, this was one of the first run bts vids i watched on vlive and it brings me back when i see clips of it 😢

the nct show (nct 2020 but in 2022)

i love LOVE when nct all gets together :( nct 2018 and nct world 2.0 !!!! everything happens for a reason and sungchan and shotaro belong in riize but this video is so fun and they’re all so cute together!! field day episodes!!!!!! this and hybe game caterers fr

007” 00” the nct show

same as previous with extra emphasis on I LOVE THE 00 LINE HOKY FUCK. yangyang ❤️❤️❤️ i need to watch more wayv content i miss him

upper side dreamin’ halloween version behind the scenes

sunoo dancing to mama at the end is peak editing. enha vs ghosts let’s go!!! they’re all so cute and funny in this 🥳🥳 the way ni-ki abandoned the camera man bye 😭

txt magic island mv

words cannot express how much i miss the dream chapter: magic era. how i wish i could find a song that makes me feel the way run away and magic island do. the things i’d do to listen to that album for the first time omfg!!!! anyways this mv and the run away mv make me so emotional like 😭😭😭 also old bts txt lore used to be so confusing to me like i would spend soo so long trying to figure it out

anyways that’s it bc youtube search and sorting history filters are ass so i can’t find many more but i hope at least 1 person finds a new video to watch from this.

[whimsical-westbrook]

hi!!

so something very peculiar happened to me and my daughter… she had a nightmare and we slept together, and then we woke up pokemon??? i’m a gardevoir and she’s a ralts.

i’m guessing from your blog this isn’t very uncommon, seeing you guys already have a nickname for it. but “eeby deeby”? really??? you couldn’t think of a better- im getting off track nevermind

what do we do??? im freaking out over here!!! im already a single mom I can’t handle this!!! what do i do when I need to get my drivers license renewed??? can pokémon even get drivers licenses??? what will i tell my family???? what will i tell my friends???? what will my poor baby tell her friends???? WHAT WILL MY LANDLORD THINK????? I HAVENT EVEN SCRATCHED THE SURFACE OF NEW PROBLEMS!!!!

………..

im sorry if this is too much for you.

at least she’s still the cutest little girl ever…~

Hey, I'm SO sorry I wasn't able to get to this when you first sent it in; I'd make excuses but what matters is that it sounds like you're getting help now! At least, I believe this is @pragmaticinstant?

I'm gonna start by covering the catch-options my friend @fated-furret was confused about:

the Johto National Park has designed pokeball charms that effectively work like just having a pokeball, but the ball is attached to a charm you can wear, which is both cute and works as a fun indicator. You might be able to see if someone can convert whatever pokeballs you can find into cute charms, I just know the national park already has some set up,

The anti-catch patches only seem to exist in certain regions, but the idea is that there's an invisible patch you can put on a pokemon that may be too anxious about a pokeball or have special needs, but still registers them as already caught for the pokeball system, causing catch attempts to fail? I don't quite understand the specifics of that one either.

Again, just regular pokeballs also work, and it sounds like you have plans there.

We have a support group for this exact thing, both between all the "eebydeebies" as well as some greater reach into the Tacklr community. I think there's an invite thing you can set so the Pelipper Mail delivery system can reach you; people can send you things that way pretty easily! A few good sites for determining what food is and isn't safe, some actual food; @goldenrodchef is SUCH a good cook and I bet he'd be delighted to make at least a few meals for you when he can.

You'll have to test and find out if you can speak human; some of us can innately, I was able to get a friend to make an everstone with a translator built in, and some folks just forgo talking to humans.

Uh, we can try and get you the group-chat invite, though I can't promise it won't be chaotic and confusing,

And enough of us have had this happen that you have a precedent to work with when trying to tell people, but unfortunately I can't promise how they'll react.

I really hope that helps, and again, sorry for the delay on my response!

[appalachianapologies]

More GA au thoughts 😅

But I was watching our staff baby(just about the cutest thing ever my word) and I couldn’t help but think about Jack watching over baby Mac. like babies(in my personal opinion) inspire such protectiveness because they literally can’t defend themselves. And Jack Freaking Dalton is a guardian and protector to his core.

I mean, think about it. Baby Mac laying in his crib. Alone for hours. Maybe he’s got a dirty diaper and he’s crying softly. Maybe he’s hungry. Maybe he’s learn(even at a few months old) that no one is coming. And he looks up to see Jack leaning over him. And he just grins up at him. Ughhhh

This is just a rant about babies and Jack and Mac and how this is the ultimate state of vulnerability and Jack is still there and Jack is watching out and Jack cares when no one else does.

Does he change Mac? Does he get him a bottle? Does he cover him up with blankets? Does he hum the lullaby he heard from a different parent an age ago? Idk but it’s so much fun to think about 🥺

hehehe so we have this snippet from Chapter Eleven of Upon taking lethal damage, enter resurrection,

“I wasn’t just there in the shadows, Mac,” Jack replies. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. For as long as I was able, knowing that when you grew up you’d never be able to remember it, I was there with you. You used to lay there in a crib and just cry.”

Even with the street lamps, Mac can barely see Jack’s face in the moonlight. “You expect me to believe that?”

“But you weren’t like other babies. You never ever cried loudly. Never screeched. And unless you were making a racket, your parents would never check on you during the day.”

Mac’s throat feels tight. “That’s not true.”

“You’d lay there, for hours at a time, tears silently falling from your face. You were uncomfortable, I could tell that, but you’d never make any noise. So I’d stand there with you, knowing that you wouldn’t remember, and that your parents wouldn’t ever go upstairs and accidentally see me.”

which is all that Mac really knows (at the end of part I Mac has begun to understand that the nice warm and soft feeling is from jack, but doesn't know it's from his wings). What he doesn't know is that it was times like these that kind of made Jack more... human? Gave him all of those human emotions and feelings of needing to protect someone who can't protect themselves.

Jack has definitely hummed and sang songs to Mac (I'll paste a part of one of the Jack drabbles below), he'd cover smol Mac with his wings to keep him warm and safe, and just. UGH the feelings you are making me feel!!!

It isn’t strictly life-saving, but Jack still reaches out. Barely touches the baby’s fist with his first finger, pausing when he uncurls those little fingers and wraps them around Jack’s offered appendage. The entire fist barely reaches up two knuckles, but the grip is stronger than Jack was expecting.

Slowly, and far too quiet for anyone else in the house to hear, Jack begins to hum.

Some song that he heard a million times because Ellen had a cassette tape she listened to every day when she drove to work, and this song was the second track on side one. Jack’s heard it at least twice every day for months.

The song itself doesn’t mean anything to the baby, Jack knows that much, but maybe it’s the soft humming that calms him down. Whatever the case may be, the squirming stops, and his other hand slowly uncurls until it’s back to five small fingers attached to an open palm.

Though the one holding onto Jack’s finger stays tight.

When he falls back asleep, Jack will take his finger back. Disappear back to a place where humans can’t see him. Can’t comprehend him.

full drabble here

[mysteriousmissfsart]

Some Stories about Me Showing My Mom Twisted Wonderland #2

Yo! I’m back!

Ahem!

I mean-

I am back.

Thank you for waiting! *Bows*

Well-

I’m back with some more stories about showing my mom Twisted Wonderland!

No more distractions!

Let’s get to it!

FYI: This all happened today

——————————————————————————

A/N: I live in Sweden and 16:00 in Sweden is 00:00 in Japan. My Birthday is January 13th. So today is the 12th in Sweden hence my confusion for a moment. In order to not cause any confusion as well; I was born in Egypt to my Egyptian parents, I moved to Sweden when I was 7 and I’ve been living here for more than 13 years (don’t remember how long exactly😅). Also, my parents are divorced and that all happened when we moved to Sweden after he told us (me, mom and my two younger sisters) to live with my grandma (mom’s side). Mom is now remarried and I now have two younger brothers as well. (A bit of TMI but I don’t really mind telling y’all about that).

Me: *Sebek showing up when i started the game* *Dramatic gasp* Is it his birthday? No. It can’t be- I’m sure that only Lillia and Malleus are born in January.

Mom: *Cooking* *Looking at me* What happened?

Me: Sebek just showed up on the screen when I started the game. I don’t know why??? I also got a key for some reason??? Oh! Wait! IT’S MY BIRTHDAY GIFT???!!!!! But it’s not the- *Realization hits* OH! I forgot about the time difference!!!

Mom: *Smiling* Oh yeah! You’ll be 21 tomorrow! My little kid has grown!

Me: *Panicking* Do not speak of it, please. You’re making me realize the fact that I have spent my life wrong. I should have been doing a lot of things-

Mom: *Laughing* You can’t stop the fact that you’re aging!

Me: Yeah I know! *Panicking again* WHY??!! I could have had Malleus say happy birthday to me!!! *Crying in MISSED opportunity* *Getting up and yelling in frustration* *Going back to my seat*

Mom: *Disappointed* That’s your fav right? The tall guy with the horns? How could you miss that opportunity! *Jokingly* Stupid.

Me: Yeah! That’s him! I am stupid! *Lowkey crying* Now I’ll have to wait until next year!!!!!!! I don’t have anything against Sebek but, I just like Malleus the most- Well, on a positive note, it was the cutest happy birthday I ever got so I’m still happy!!

Mom: *Laughing* I swear that I gave birth to the weirdest human alive. *Shaking her head* That’s why I love you and your weirdness!

Me: Love you too mom! And yes, I am not denying that I am weird. But admit it, I’m the best person that came into your life- *Smirking*

Mom: Yeah, Yeah. You are.

——————————————————————————

Me: Mom! Look! Look! *Showing her a picture I saw on Pinterest* It’s Kalim’s outfit as a real life replica!

Mom: *Looking* It’s pretty! I’m impressed!

Me: Look at this one! This is Riddle’s outfit!

Mom: Wow! That’s amazing! It’s really detailed!

Me: Then look at this! It’s Malleus’s outfit! Isn’t it beautiful!

Mom: Yeah! Where can you buy this? *Meaning it*

Me: I wish that I could buy them! If there are buyable versions they’d probably be too expensive.

Mom: That’s too bad!

——————————————————————————

A/N

I’ve been away for a while because I had some exams, I really hope that I don’t fail😭😭

I’m currently working on some Twisted Wonderland stories and my essay on why Malleus is an INFJ in my opinion! I hope I can share them with you soon!

Also, if you know any websites that sell Twisted Wonderland merch and ship them worldwide, please let me know! I really want to buy some-

A quick disclaimer as well: I REALLY have NOTHING against Sebek or any other character!!! I just really love Malleus because I feel connected to his character! Sebek is a really sweet character and I really love his loud, proud and protective personality! The first conversation presented here was a bit of a lighthearted dramatic conversation between me and my mom. We do A LOT of those. I love all the characters for who they are and I have nothing against any of them!

(Read the tags)

(There’s a hidden story)

[shotshoutshoot]

It hadn’t taken much for Penelope to realise that the child she now took care of was not the one she had given birth to. She had pointed ears, though as she got older she tried to cover them, and far sharper teeth than Penelope or her late husband had. There were other symptoms, that other people in town often pointed out, but Penelope frankly did not care enough to do any more than simply accept them. Her intelligence made her more pleasant to talk to, and Penelope found her secret fascination with the flute one of the cutest things she had ever seen.

So yes, Penelope knew full well her dear Helena was most likely a changeling. But she also knew that no matter what, she was still her dear Helena, and would continue to be her dear Helena until the day Penelope died. That was what she had signed up for when she became a parent and Penelope was never one to leave a task unfinished. And what she was not going to do was put her dear Helena through unjustified suffering, or give her up to anyone else, simply because she may be a changeling. Helena was a delightful girl, and was rapidly growing into a delightful woman before Penelope’s eyes. There was nothing anyone could do to separate her from her daughter.

Now, if only Helena’s other family understood that.

“Excuse me, but Miss…” the fairy said. He was tall, and dressed in grey with sharp green eyes that now bore a look of surprise. She supposed he had never had someone refuse to give back a changeling. The most she heard was people begging for their original child. Penelope knew that Helena was as good as her child, now. It had been over a decade. As far as she was concerned, that was where the warranty for the child you traded for a human one expired.

“Mrs!” she corrected indignantly, crossing her arms as she stood in the doorway. “Mrs Penelope Burnham! And there’s no way you’retaking my daughter from me!” she tapped her foot impatiently. These fairies were complete and utter fools if they thought she would just let them take her daughter from her. They were the ones that left her in the first place, and in Penelope’s opinion you did not get to abandon your child for over a decade without contacting her and then just turn up and expect to take her.

“but Mrs Burnham,” the other fairy said. She had the same sharp green eyes as the other fairy, and auburn hair that sat around her shoulders. She held her hands up in front of her in a placating gesture. “that’s not your daughter–”

“–bullshit!”

“–and it’s well past time she return to Elfhame…” the other fairy said calmly. Penelope was seconds from cursing at them on her doorstep, and quite possibly getting violent towards the two fairies. If she didn’t do either of those, she would tell these fairies exactly where they could shove their Elfhame.

“Let me get this straight,” Penelope said, glowering at the two of them. “Youtwo have the sheer audacity to think that you can just waltz up to my home, knock on my door, and take my daughter from me?” she raised her eyebrows, moving her hand to the edge of her front door. The two exchanged nervous glances. “you can’t just abandon a child for over a decade, make no attempts to find or contact her, and then just turn up at her front door expecting her to skip away into the sunset with you! If you want to control where your child lives then raise her yourselves!”

“Mrs Burnham,” the male fairy stuttered. “this situation isn’t exactly as you portray it–”

“Isn’t it?” she replied indignantly. “You traded Helena in place of the child I gave birth to, without even asking me! She’s my daughter now! You do not get to dictate what happens to her now! And this obviously isn’t a monetary issue, because you’re both wearing some of the most lavish clothes I have ever seen, otherwise I would be more sympathetic!” she yelled.

The fairies were both sheet white – one looked seconds from being sick – but frankly, Penelope didn’t care. They weren’t just going to take her Helena. Her Helena, who knew every poem by Thomas Taylor off by heart. Her Helena, who specifically learned to play Penelope’s favourite songs on the flute to make her smile. Her Helena, who couldn’t wear shirts with collars too high and who’s favourite food was the family Bolognese recipe. Even if she was a changeling, hell, even if she turned out to be a fire-breathing dragon or a man-eating fish monster, she was Penelope’s Helena and she wouldn’t trade her for the world.

Penelope gave the fairies some final words, ones so shocking even her neighbour’s cat and her deceased husband started listening, far too shocking to be repeated, and promptly slammed the door in their face.

“Honestly, the pure audacity of those–” Penelope muttered, turning around. Helena stood by the kitchen door, wide-eyed. Penelope didn’t know how much she’d heard, but she’d suspected it was enough.

“you know?” Helena asked. Her green eyes, they had always been unnaturally green – ever since she was tiny, glistened with tears about to fall. Distantly, Penelope wondered how long she’d been fretting over this for.

“I know,” she confirmed. She wrapped Helena in a hug. “You’re still my daughter. Even if you’re not biologically mine, you’re the only daughter I’ve raised.”

“But what if you can get your biological child back?” Helena said, voice wavering. “what if the real Helena wants to come home?” Penelope gently ran a hand through her hair. In truth, she’d thought about that many times. But, each time she always came to the exact same conclusion.

“Then I have two daughters.”

You raised the changeling infant as your own. After years of loving this child, the fae have made it clear that they’re there, that they want their child back. But you won’t let them take them without a fight.

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC With A Lot Of Hobbies

As requested by an Anon! (Sorry, I accidentally posted a draft of the actual request)

Lucifer

Huh, the human’s painting, that’s nice. Anyway, back to work.

It appears now the human is… embroidering. They evidently brought down an artistic type. Oh, now they’re programming, and… baking, and knitting Mammon some socks…

MC stop, they should know by now that Mammon’s going to try and make money off of their multitude of hobbies.

Lucifer does find it quite nice that they brought such a talented human into the exchange program.

It’s just… their room is a mess of stuff. Their bookshelves are filled with scrapbooks instead of their textbooks, their drawers are filled with yarn, their back table is coated in painting supplies… MC needs to organize or Lucifer’s going to have an aneurism.

Mammon

Sorry everyone, this guy’s one of those “monetize your hobbies!” types. He cannot fathom having a talent and not making money off it. Well, at least till MC tries to teach him how to knit.

He gives up a total of 7 times on the first day, but always ends up picking the needles back up and trying again. It wasn’t like he liked sharing a hobby with MC or anything even though he wasn’t making any money off of it…

It wasn’t like he likes watching them get so passionate about all the things they enjoyed!

It’s not like he LIKES them or anything- oh shit MC! Look! He made a scarf!!!! A real scarf he can wear!

He’s so happy! MC! Teach him something else because he’s clearly mastered knitting!

Leviathan

Levi’s got three hobbies, gaming, watching anime, and self loathing. Okay that’s not true, he has more.

But the first time Levi saw MC engaging in all their interests, he wasn’t impressed. Pfft, stupid normie and their stupid hobbies.

Once he found out MC also makes cosplays as a hobby he’s over the damn moon. He finally has a buddy! And they game too?? Oh marry him now! Wait- no- he didn’t mean that- shit-

MC and Levi do that whole “parallel play” thing when they hang out, where Levi’s making his cosplay and MC’s making their’s and the vibe is just, *chill*.

It’s also very comforting to Levi to know that other people like the things he likes!

Satan

So it appears the human is a bookworm. How nice, anyway-

Satan’s not impressed at first, sure the human likes to read and the two could hold a casual conversation, but Satan still wasn’t all too interested in this human.

Well, until Satan sees them arts and crafting a felt cat figurine.

He casually slides into whatever room MC is and asks how they make such adorable things. MC explains like the sweetheart they are, and since Satan can’t control his love of cats, he gets to work making some kitty figurines!

Later down the line, Satan gifts MC a little felt cat figurine that he made. Sure it isn’t the nicest, but he tried his best. The kitty sits proudly on whatever surface in MC’s room that isn’t occupied by other hobby supplies.

Asmodeus

Ooooo~ he’s got a talented little human on his hands. Did he ever tell MC that being multi talented is a massive turn on?

Well, it’s Asmo, almost everything is at least a little bit of a turn on.

Asmo took note of MC’s love of painting and asked begged to be the subject of their next painting. MC accepted and Asmo got into a “paint me like one of your French girls” pose.

Asmo just adores everything his sweet MC makes for him, and he’s practically over the moon whenever MC invites him to come and try out whatever they’re doing with them!

It’s just… MC please organize your stuff a little better… would they like some clear bins? He has a Pinterest board for these kinds of things you know.

Beelzebub

MC has a lot of hobbies? That’s nice.

…

Is cooking one of them?

As cliche as this is, the first thing on Beel’s brain is food. Can MC cook? What can they cook? Can he have some? But once he finds out MC likes to play sports too, he’s even more excited!

…until he realizes that Fangol probably isn’t safe for them :/

Either way, the two exercise in the gym together, and MC makes plenty of fun food for Beel.

Every time it’s MC’s turn to cook Beel shows up with suggestions.

But the cutest thing? MC knitted Beel a pair of mittens because it was getting a tad colder in the Devildom. The human is just so cute Beel can’t even…

Belphegor

The human does… things? Gross. One of their hobbies better be sleeping or Belphie’s going to whine about lack of cuddles.

…brat.

The whining all came to an end when Belphie had the misfortune of falling asleep without his pillow… he had nothing to snuggle or rest his head on… this world… so lonely and cold…

Oh! What was this! Something to snuggle has been given to him! He can now sleep easy…

Belphie wakes up to find a little handmade plushie in his arms… who could this have been made by?! He must go on a quest to find his plushie Cinderella!

Oh, it was MC… they were sitting right next to him. Good, a quest would have taken a lot of energy.

Next time MC invites him to try on of their hobbies, he’s going. Maybe MC can teach him how to make more stuffed animals.

——————

This entire family is going to be sitting on their knees around the coffee table doing various different types of crafts while Diavolo stands in the doorway like a proud father.