#you can’t see the glitter i put around my eyes and on the cupids bow of my lip well enough

[mabelsguidetolife]

hi i am Haley, i am turning 26 soon, and my hobbies are getting too close to the camera and needing a haircut very very badly

[artificialqueens]

Pretty in Pearls, Chapter 4 (Jankie) - Plastiquedoll

read on ao3 💄| previous chapters

A/N: hi!  here's a new chapter and I'm planting the crygi seed for the future *wink wink* I hope you enjoy it and thank you for reading it <3

-4-

“Good morning!” Jan greeted Nicky outside the café with a smile on her face.

“Hey! You woke up earlier today; I didn’t catch you on your way out the dorms.” The blonde noticed.

She was wearing a fuzzy cardigan sweater she had seen on Jaida before, light blue jeans, and white sneakers. Her hair was still wet which made Jan think she might have spent the night with her girlfriend before meeting her.

“Yeah, I had to return some books to the library so I left when Rosé went to class.”

They walked in and were welcomed by the familiar warmness of the interior of the coffee shop. Almost a month had passed but Jan was always comforted by the charm of the place. It was a crowded morning but they were able to squish at one little table near the entrance. They had just sat down when a fuming Jackie crossed the door, at first she didn’t see them but as soon as Jan waved at her she shuffled toward their direction and plopped herself in the empty chair.

She was wearing brown flare pants along with a white shirt and a yellow batwing cardigan with a floral pattern. Her brown hair had been violently ruffled by a gust of wind, the loose locks fell all over her face completing a look that matched her current mood.

“What are you doing here?” Nicky asked.

Jan was wondering the same; all of Jackie’s classes took place in the morning, it was early for her to be out.

She grunted a few words while holding a scrunchie between her teeth as she attempted to untangle her hair.

“What?” The girls asked at the same time.

Jackie tied her hair into a ponytail and sighed. “I got kicked out of class.”

Jan looked at her with disbelief. “What?” She repeated.

“Remember that professor that hates me for making –according to him- «snarky comments»? Well, he finally found a reason to express his dislike for me and asked me to leave.” She crossed her arms on her chest. “I wasn’t going to stay quiet when –in addition, to invisibilize women in art- he also tried to erase the queerness of the artists. No, not on my watch.”

“What a pig.” Nicky shook her head. “I can’t believe he had the nerve to kick you out because you called him out.”

“Oh, trust me, this isn’t the end of it. I’m filing a complaint and leaving that class. I’m done.”

“I’m sorry, Jackie. I know you liked the subject, too bad the professor is a jerk.” Jan tapped her shoulder softly.

The brunette got stiff by the sudden touch. She cleared her throat before speaking again. “Anyway… it sucks because I need the credit and it’s the only class that fits into my schedule.”

“Maybe there’s a way to fix it, talk with the administration or something.” Jan did what she did best, being undeniably positive.

“Yeah… maybe. But enough of that, I need a cup of coffee.”

As if she had read Jackie’s mind, a waitress approached and it wasn’t any other than…

“Hello, girls!”

“Crystal? You work here?” Jan asked.

The girl nodded. “I started yesterday.” She smiled brightly.

She had a blue apron with the café’s name on it over her clothes and Jan swore her hair –covered in colorful hair clips- was different than last time she saw her not even two days ago.

“Congratulations! That’s great!”

“Thank you. I had to drop one of my classes but I needed the job.”

Jackie grunted. “Please let’s not talk about dropping classes.” She began massaging her temples.

“Right! I’m here to take your order.” She pulled out a tiny notebook covered in glitter from her pocket and a unicorn gel pen. “I’m ready.”

“I think you have to say «what can I get you?»” Nicky commented.

“Oh, you’re right… Let me try again. What can I get you?” She repeated in an extremely polite voice.

“I’ll have a hot chocolate please.” Jan pointed at the menu.

“And I’d like a hazelnut latte.” Jackie followed.

“For me, a caramel macchiato.” The blonde finished the order.

“Perfect… so hot chocolate, hazelnut latte, and caramel macchiato.” Crystal checked her notes. “Right away.”

“Thank you.” They said and with that, the ginger left and then turned around.

Jan watched her go.

“I should get a job too.” She pouted. “I don’t want to ask for extra money from my parents, they are helping with the other half the scholarship and they are paying for my brother’s tuition too.”

“I work at the mall near here and there’s always something to do there. You could come with me later and ask around.” Nicky mentioned.

“I didn’t know that, what do you do?”

“I’m on the cosmetics section. I do people’s makeup during the weekends and convince them to buy products.”

“Of course you do…”

“What would you like to do?” Jackie inquired in the meantime she rearranged the sweeteners of the table.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I’ve had part-time jobs before. I used to work at an ice cream parlor. That was fun not to mention I had free ice cream. Then I worked at the post office, that wasn’t as much fun, it involved a lot of boxes… and during my senior year, I was the secretary of a dental office that… well, definitely wasn’t fun but I got to meet the same customers that were regulars on the ice cream parlor.”

Jackie and Nicky burst into laughter.

“You’ll do well…” The blonde assured.

“We can write your resume later and print it in the copy room.” Jackie suggested.

“That’s a great idea. Yeah, let’s do it.”

At that moment, Crystal returned with their drinks.

“Well, let’s see… I’ll put these over here, here and… here.” She placed the cups carefully and sighed with relief when everything stayed in place. “Great… Let me know if you need me.” She hummed.

“Thank you, Crystal!” Jan was going to leave a good tip for her friend.

When she turned around, they all exchanged misplaced cups in the blink of an eye.

“She’ll get better… hopefully.” Jackie added some sugar and took a sip of her coffee.

Jan drank some of her chocolate; the whipped cream created a mustache above her cupid’s bow and got the brunette looking fondly at her before taking a napkin and cleaning the corner of her mouth. Nicky raised an eyebrow but before she could say something, someone else showed up.

It was a girl that most definitely looked like a supermodel with her matching glen check pattern outfit consisting of a cropped jacket and a mini skirt with accents of yellow fabric and a belt with chains hanging from it along with a pair of black thigh-high boots. Her blonde hair framed her face and was tied on the back on a half up half down hairstyle.

“Hey, Nicky, did you finish the assignment for today’s class? And if you did, did you have any difficulty submitting it?” She looked upset, stressed.

“Uh… no. Maybe it’s because that paper is due tomorrow and the submission time starts… tomorrow?”

“Oh, thank God.” She sat on the only left empty chair with no need of an invitation and sighed letting all the air out of her lungs.

Their little table couldn’t accommodate more people so they squished even more.

Nicky turned to Jackie and Jan. “This is Gigi, she’s a classmate of mine and she actually lives in the same dorms as us. Gigi, do you remember my friend Jackie? And this is Jan, resident of the C dorm.”

The other blonde girl waved. “Hi, sorry… that was rude. I was freaking out due to that assignment.” She took a deep breath. “Hi, Jackie… I do remember you and Jan, we’re neighbors.”

“That’s great!” Jan smiled at her. “So you’re a fashion major too?”

She nodded. “I’m a sophomore as well but I’m a year younger than everyone else because of technicalities and my mom sending me to kindergarten one year earlier.”

“We’re the same age then. That’s cool.”

Gigi smiled, she was beautiful.

“How are you adapting to-” She was going to ask Jan something when she lowered her head in an attempt to hide behind Jackie. “Oh shit.”

“Gigi, what is it?” Nicky whispered.

“She’s here.” Gigi tried to descend even more.

“Uhm… who’s here?” Jackie looked around.

“She! She’s here right now… Oh God…” The girl seemed nervous and her cheeks were tinted in soft pink. “So, uh… there’s this girl who lives in our dorm I guess and I’ve bumped into her a couple of times before but… I don’t know, she’s like…” She blushed harder.

“Gigi Goode... The Gigi Goode is possibly… intimidated by someone?” Nicky gasped.

“Shhh… shut up… no… yeah… maybe. I don’t know. I’m gay and single, leave me alone.”

“Wait but how does she look like?” Jan also tried to find her among the crowd. They all were whispering.

“Oh my God… she’s coming… she’s walking in this direction, why is she walking in this direction? Never mind she has an apron.”

But it was Crystal who appeared next to Jan. “Hey guys, everything’s okay over here? Do you need something else?” She inquired, completely clueless.

The three remaining girls looked at Crystal, then at Gigi, and then at Crystal again as if it was a ping pong game.

“Oh, hey! I hadn’t seen you there, would you like me to bring something for you?” She asked Gigi while pulling out her Crystalcore things.

The blonde girl nodded and recovered the posture a little. “Uh… matcha… that’s the green thing… yeah… latte. Green tea?”

“Matcha tea latte?”

She nodded mechanically again.

“Alright, anything else?” The other girls shook their heads. “I’ll be right back.”

“Thank you.” Gigi’s voice sounded high-pitched.

Once Crystal left, all eyes were on the blonde once again.

“Oh my… I fucked up, didn’t I?”

Nicky’s jaw had dropped to the floor. “Wait, hold on a minute… you like her?”

“Shhh… God, Nicky, she could hear you or something.” Gigi pressed her hand on her chest, feeling her heart beating fast. “I didn’t know she worked here.”

Jan was trying to contain a smile, her lips turned into a thin line, meanwhile, Jackie stirred her lukewarm coffee.

“Uh… You know that’s my roommate, right?” Nicky smirked.

At that moment, Gigi almost fainted. Her face went from reddish to pale in a second and her eyes were full of terror as if she had seen a ghost.

“Excuse me, she’s your what?!”

“My roommate? Crystal? The girl with orange hair? I’ve told you about her. The one that put stickers on the notes she leaves me? She forgot her key three times in the span of a day? The one that –allegedly- accidentally shot a confetti cannon in our room and since then it feels like the place coughs confetti here and there? Rings your bell?”

That had been a good day, Jan recalled.

“Wait- That’s your Crystal? Your Crystal is my Crystal?” She covered her mouth after saying those words.

Jackie and Jan exchanged an amused look.

“Your Crystal?” Nicky tilted her head.

“I mean… that’s not what I mean…” She cleared her throat. “please don’t tell her I have a crush on her this is already too embarrassing for me… I could die like a Sim… of embarrassment, it’s a real thing, you know?”

“Relax, I won’t say a word and I’m sure the girls won’t either, right?” Jan and Jackie nodded.

Gigi seemed relieved. “Thank you… I can’t believe she’s your roommate.” She buried her face in her hands.

“I can’t believe you feel intimidated by her, she has a One Direction poster in our room.”

“There are so many things clicking in my head right now please leave your message after the tone. Beep.”

Jackie moved her hand in front of her eyes without getting a response. “I think you broke her, Nicky.”

“She’ll be fine. Plus, Crystal is bringing her tea right now.”

“Fuck…” She said as if was a reset command.

“Here you have.” The ginger placed the smoky cup in front of her. “I hope you enjoy it.” She smiled and winked before leaving.

Gigi gulped.

“Uh, Gigi, I’m not an expert but judging by the color of the beverage, that’s not what you ordered.” Jackie pointed out.

But the blonde wasn’t even looking at her. “I don’t care; this is the most delicious drink existing in the entire universe right now.”

“What’s that though?” Nicky tried to touch the cup but Gigi slapped her hand.

“No touching.” She glared at her classmate.

“Yeah, I feel like we’re going to be good friends.” Jan thought about it aloud.

“Alright, all set.”

Jackie let a big sigh out of her chest when she left the administration office; Jan had been waiting for her outside. They had gone there straight after leaving the café when Nicky and Gigi left for their class. On their way to the building, she had tried to cheer Jackie up by telling the entire confetti cannon anecdote in full detail but even afterward laughing at loud the brunette still seemed afflicted.

“I’ve submitted my complaint and the head administrator told me that the board will look into it. Until then, they said that most classes are already full so they’ll have to look for a different solution and they’ll contact me via e-mail or I’ll have to drop by next week.”

“Well, that’s good, isn’t it? They’ll tell you what the next step is. It can only get better from here.”

“I hope so.” She shrugged. She didn’t sound fully convinced, though.

Jan checked the time on her phone. “Hey, we still have some time before your shift starts, we can hang out or something…”

Jackie bit her inner cheek. “I don’t know…”

Jan touched her shoulder gently. “Jackie, I hate you seen you like this. There has to be something that makes you feel at least one percent better.”

She looked at her with her big puppy eyes and Jackie couldn’t say no to her.

“Okay… there’s something that always makes me feel better.” She gave in.

“I’m listening.”

Jackie’s eyes sparked.

“No way…” Jan looked around. “This is awesome!”

They had gone upstairs –climbing several stairs-, to a place that wasn’t on the maps of the campus. Jackie had led the way without revealing a single detail –even when Jan asked many, many questions on their way there- she had said it was a surprise and that she didn’t want to spoil it. Finally, as they were climbing those endless stairs, her mood got a bit better.

They reached a single green metal door, it was locked but the brunette pulled a key from her set and opened it. The door led to a little hidden rooftop garden with a few hanging plants and flowers in terracotta pots, there was also a set of recycled wood chairs and an unvarnished coffee table rough around the edges. But without any doubt the most stunning part of that small place was the view, it was the perfect spot to contemplate most of the green areas of the campus including some of the park across the street nearby the café. It was almost noon and the sun hit the opposite side but in a few hours, it would be probably the best viewpoint of the sunset.

“What is this place?” The younger kept inspecting everything.

Jackie closed the door behind them. “It used to be a project made for a group of students to raise awareness about the use of recycling materials but since they all graduated no one really knows it exists. I accidentally discovered it last year when I took a photography class and spotted it with my camera from that crossroad.” She pointed with her index finger. “I did some research and the janitor gave me the key after asking… when I was done with the assignment, she let me keep it with the promise I would do some maintenance once in a while and keep the plants alive. And since then, I come here when I need to be alone or when I’m upset… like today.”

Jan stared at her. “I’m sorry that you had to drop that class.”

“I didn’t want to quit, you know? I thought I was going to be able to handle it, by giving up I feel like I let him win…”

“No, you didn’t. You don’t have to stand that mistreatment.” She looked the brunette in the eye. “I’m glad you did it; don’t let it be a defeat, it doesn’t have to be one.”

“Thank you.” A weak smile appeared on her face.

“I’m gonna hug right now, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“No, you don’t have to…”

“But I want to. C’mon, come here.” She extended her arms widely. “If you don’t let me hug you I’m going to hug myself and it’s going to be lame and I’m going to be sad.”

Jackie chuckled. “Okay, I guess…”

“Yay!” Jan jumped directly to her and wrapped her arms around her.

Jan’s shampoo smelled like almonds and honey. Her embrace made Jackie feel warm inside. Clouds could’ve been made of cotton and the sky was the bluest she had ever seen.

“You see? This is nice.” The younger still held her.

“Yeah, nice…” Jackie closed her eyes and for a moment, it was all right.

They stayed there for a little while. Jackie would have to go to the copy room soon and Jan had her class after lunch. During the time they were there, Jan played some music on her phone and they talked about what had happened earlier in the café. They agreed that it was sweet that Gigi had a crush on Crystal; Jackie watered the plants and told her the story of how she had met the blonde through Nicky. Later on, she sat on one of the chairs while Jan played hopscotch with the cracks in the concrete; she sang softly the song that was playing Hey There Delilah.

“You have a good singing voice,” Jackie mentioned.

“Huh? Me? Oh… I didn’t… I just sing for fun sometimes.” She suddenly felt coy.

“I mean it. It sounded lovely.”

“You’re just being nice. You haven’t heard Rosé or Lagoona, they are amazing.”

“They could tell you. I’m sure they’d agree with me.”

“I could never sing in front of them.” She looked mortified.

“You’d do well.”

“Are you serious right now?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“I don’t know…” Jan shrugged.

The music stopped and the alarm she had set went off.

“We have to go.” The younger announced. “I’ll walk with you to the copy room and then I’ll grab something to eat.”

“Okay. Let me close the door.”

She waited until the brunette was done and they started walking downstairs.

“I wish I could work with you, wouldn’t that be fun?” Jan casually mentioned.

“Well, you’re there all the time anyway.”

“Does it bother you?”

Jackie shook her head and smiled. “No, not at all.”

“I don’t understand it.” Jan lied on the table of the study room. “I have applied for every job available at the mall and still, no response and no results.”

“Ow, baby,” Rosé ruffled her hair. “I’m sure you’re going to find something soon.”

Lagoona lifted her gaze from the textbook. “I wish I could help but the restaurant where I work is full.”

“I thought you hated that place?” Jan turned toward her.

“I do, but the tips are good.” She highlighted a sentence with her pastel marker.

She was already studying for an upcoming presentation. Rosé was memorizing the lines of a play and she got Jan there to read the other part. Now they were on a break. The pink-haired girl was drinking peach soda from a can in the meantime Jan whined for her failed job search. Lagoona –whose blue hair was beginning to fade a little- googled some job offers in the area and read them at loud.

“There are a few that sound pretty disgusting if you ask me. I didn’t know the classified ads could be this kinky.” She frowned and put her phone down.

“Hey, what about that place?” Rosé snapped her fingers. “Goona, do you remember? The diner that’s a couple of blocks from here? We used to go there all the time during our freshman year.”

“Oh, yes. That was a nice place, didn’t we stop going there because your ex-roommate worked there?”

Rosé’s expression turned sour. “Yeah… but she got fired or quit, I don’t know. The point is, they were always hiring people, maybe you could ask there?”

“And you’ve waited this long to tell me?” Jan cried. “It’s been three agonizing days.”

“They are open now so you could-”

“Bye, guys! See you later.” She grabbed her things, threw them into her backpack, and dashed out just to return a couple of seconds later. “Yeah, so I don’t know where it is.”

Jan held her breath before walking past the door.

The diner was decorated in a retro style. It had black and white floor tiles, a long bar, red stools, chairs and booths, round tables, neon signs, vinyl albums and posters of classic Hollywood stars on the walls, lamps hanging from the ceiling, and even a functional jukebox. A few people were sitting at the bar, it was still early for dinner so almost everyone was having a milkshake or some ice cream.

Jan was welcomed by a girl with dark wavy hair in a striped red and white dress with a little white apron on. The name «Denali» was written on her tag.

“Welcome to Lucky’s, would you like a table or a seat on the bar?” She smiled and a pair of dimples appeared on her face.

“Hi, I was wondering if you have a job application for me or… if you were hiring right now?”

“Oh,” She lowered her notebook. “You wanna work here? Okay, just give me a second. You can sit over there.” Denali pointed at one empty table.

“Sure.” Jan held her backpack close to her body and moved to the booth.

Denali returned shortly after with a pen and a paper sheet in her hands.

“In normal circumstances, you’d have an interview with the manager but since he’s God knows where and I’m in charge in the meantime, I’m going to let you complete this form and then ask you some questions…”

“Alright, yeah.”

“I’ll be back in a moment.”

Jan filled the form with basic information, her full name, birth date, age, address, phone number, e-mail, etc. When she was done, she observed Denali serving customers, she moved like her feet weren’t touching the floor, with a full tray on her hands as if it weighed nothing, all with a giant smile on her face. She made it look easy.

“Everything alright?” She asked before sitting in front of Jan.

“Yes, I’m done.” She returned the paper sheet.

Denali scanned it, collecting information. “Janice? Okay, you’re a college student.”

“Jan is fine. Yes, I’m a freshman.”

“Aw,” She tilted her head. “I’m going to write my notes in front of you if that’s okay.” Jan nodded. “You haven’t worked as a waitress before, right?”

“No, but I’m a fast learner and I believe I compensate my lack of experience with enthusiasm, I’ve been told.”

She wrote something “Next, uhm… Why do you want to work here?”

“I need a job to pay for my things. As I said, this is my first year of college; I have a partial scholarship and my parents are supporting me from home but I don’t want to become a burden for them.”

“Do you mind if I ask about your scholarship?”

“No, not at all. It’s for baseball.”

“Work!” She nodded. “The last one, you wrote here your potential time schedules and, according to the rules, if you only work have twice per week you’ll have to take two Saturdays per month. Are you fine with that?”

“Sure, I can take any shift that day.”

“Well, Jan, the good news is that I sense we’re going to be besties, so I wrote «overqualified», «fast learner» and «tight schedules but willing to take Saturday’s shifts» which always is a plus.” She smiled at Jan. “I believe you’re going to get a call very soon.”

“Oh my God! Thank you.” Jan grinned. “I really appreciate that.”

“No worries. You’re lucky -no pun intended-, a girl just quit but being completely honest, she was a real bitch. You can’t be worse than her.”

“I’ve heard that before and… I’m okay with that.”

“Alright. I hope I see you soon.” She winked and returned to serve tables.

Jan left the diner with the biggest smile on Earth.

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

just saw a Christmas card at the shops that said: “I want to be the reason Santa puts you on the naughty list” and am I wrong in imagining demon!Harry giving that card to angel!y/n?

“I got you something.”

The sound of a grocery bag thudding hollowly against the marble countertop of the kitchen pulls Y/N’s attention away from the kettle heating up milk on the stove. 

She’s in the middle of making hot chocolate for the second time today; she’d acquired quite the taste for it as the holidays draw closer. Her new craving is actually one of the reasons Harry had gone to the store today— she had run out of marshmallows to top her favorite seasonal drink. 

He didn’t mind going, especially when Y/N had come to him while he was watching a supernatural documentary on the couch, approaching him in such a timid, guilty manner while holding the empty plastic bag to her chest and giving him a small sheepish smile. “We ran out of marshmallows.”

Harry had glanced down at the sullen, deflated bag and then back up at Y/N, lips twitching with endeared entertainment. “I think you mean you ran out of marshmallows ‘cause I’ve barely touched the stash.” 

She had given him a pointed scowl, though she knew he was right. The amount of hot chocolate she’d been indulging lately was getting to be borderline embarrassing. “Will you just pick up more, please?”

Harry had beckoned her forward with his forefinger, patting the armrest of the sofa as a symbol for her to sit. As soon as she’d settled into the spot, he’d wrapped his arms around her tummy and yanked her down into his lap in a flurry of clear plastic and wild hair. She laid with her back against his thighs and her legs hooked over the side of the sofa, laughing breathlessly due to the random whirlwind. He’d placed a gentle kiss between her eyebrows, breathing in the sweet scent of her chamomile and mandarin shampoo. “Why don’t you just put it on your Christmas list to Santa?” 

“I think my drink will be cold by then.” She had quipped back, tilting her head with a deadpan tone, giving him an amused scoff. 

He jutted out his bottom lip into an exaggerated pout. “Tough luck then, huh?”

Leave it to Harry to be a little shit over the slightest things.

“Pleaseeeeee?” 

Harry had pursed his lips, head falling backwards against the backrest, humming thoughtfully in the back of his throat as if mulling over the request. 

Y/N had reached up and grabbed him by his t-shirt collar, pulling his head forward once again and down to her level, kissing the faint curve of one of his dimples. In return, it had pinched deeper into his cheek, his mouth jolting into a soft smirk. 

“Pretty please?”

“How can I say no when you ask so nicely?” 

He had to restock some toiletries anyways. 

Harry had treaded through the superstore leisurely, wandering through the aisles aimlessly and taking his time in choosing what shaving cream to get and searching for a new deodorant scent. 

He’d swung by the market section, picking up two packs of mini marshmallows instead of one, knowing Y/N would be extra grateful. He’d thrown in a bag of Texas style sliced bread for his famous French toast, along with a twelve pack of ginger ale and some white cheddar puffs to snack on later while watching Chopped. 

He never thought he’d ever be doing something as domestic and mundane as going to the store solely for the purpose of buying his girlfriend marshmallows— he never thought he’d have another girlfriend in general. It just hadn’t seemed in the cards for him at the time and the way Y/N just crashed into his life and completely stripped him of the brooding, deflective, unattached shell he’d built over himself for centuries was astonishing. And if he’s being honest, it was almost disgusting how soft he’d gotten since, considering his romantic side hadn’t flared up in decades. 

Harry had grown fond of it, though. The wholesomeness of simple tasks like this sat at the pit of his stomach in the form of a warm glow, putting an extra jump in his heels and a goofy, lovesick grin across the edges of his lips, exactly like the ones in those stupid romance movies he used to take the piss out of.  

The old lady hobbling down the bread aisle probably thought he was fucking mad— no sane person just smiles at the smudged concrete ground in the middle of a supermarket for no apparent reason. 

As he’d made his way towards the self check-out kiosks, the most obnoxiously sappy idea yet struck him like a punch to the gut, slamming the breaks on his steps. 

The greeting card corridor. 

He found the perfect one barely five feet into the aisle. It had a pastel green background that was strewn with laminated glitter. Off to the left of the card was the art: a set of bright red lace lingerie, crumpled as if it were sitting on the floor with a Santa hat strewn carelessly next to it, insinuating that whoever had donned the attire had gotten it off in a hastily manner. The doodle of the clothing had actual lace fabric overlaid on top of the drawing and the hat even had a miniature fuzzy poof ball at the end. The words were shifted more towards the right of the cover, scrawled right beside the image in big, loopy white cursive: I want to be the reason Santa puts you on the naughty list.

The font for naughty list was different— instead of the pretty, festive letters, it looks as if it were written on the surface with red lipstick that had been smeared down the bottom of the card, a small kiss print decorating the space beside the phrase, acting as punctuation. 

It was golden and it gave Harry a palpable reason to wear that stupid grin on his face. 

He’d jetted home, excitement sizzling his fingertips and causing them to tighten against the leather of his steering wheel. 

The steps up to the condo were taken two at a time, the elevator much too slow for his taste and he’d learned not to just flash in and out of public spaces anymore because it could result in a ruckus amongst the humans, which is publicity Lucifer really didn’t want to deal with.  

That brings him to where he is now, plopping the bags off his wrists onto the marble kitchen counter, startling a robe-clad Y/N from her spot before the stovetop. 

“I got you something.” 

His girlfriend drifts over to the kitchen island, leaning forward on her tiptoes to bend over the edge of the surface, taking a curious peek into the grocery bags. Her voice comes out soft and childishly hopeful. “Marshmallows?” 

Harry can’t resist the bubbly chuckle that her adorably excited aura draws. “Yeah, I got the marshmallows, don’t worry. But I also got you something else…and you should be grateful for it considering you’re a thief.”

He reaches forward and gently takes the collar of her lavender Sherpa robe between his index and middle finger— which is actually his lavender Sherpa robe that he treasures very fucking much— and gives it a signifying tug. 

Y/N tilts her chin down to get a glimpse of what he’s going on about and then bashful recognition washes down her face in the form of pursed lips and a blithe glint in her eyes. “Sorry, mine’s in the wash.” 

Harry begins rummaging through the groceries, moving his sensitive skin shaving cream and Old Spice deodorant out of the way with the back of his hands, retrieving the two bags of marshmallows and sliding them across the counter. 

He suddenly kinks a single eyebrow up, her comment plucking a memory string in the back of his mind. “Was it the one you were wearing two nights ago?” 

He can see her bite into the inside of her cheek, a soft blue glow just barely illuminating the ring around her irises as she nods her head wordlessly, gaze darting down to the treats to keep them from going into full headlights mode. 

Harry leans forward onto the marble stretch, balancing on his elbows, chin propped on the palm of his left hand as the other slowly fishes the greeting card out, toying the pad of his thumb at one of the corners. He’s too amused to interrupt her fidgeting by giving it to her so he’ll hold out for a bit. 

His voice comes out low and teasing through a cocky simper, eyes hooded arrogantly. “Was it the one you were wearing when you jerked me off on the couch?”

It’s like he can flip her on like a switch, a milky white light casting across the high points of her cheeks, originating from her irises. She blinks rapidly, willing it to simmer down, glaring up at him from under her lashes with sharp annoyance. 

Harry taps at his upper lip with the pads of his digits, Cupid’s Bow curling as his grin widens, the back of his throat resonating with a hummed chortle. The pearl necklace he’d recently bought sits atop his collarbones delicately, gleaming mockingly under the bright lights of the kitchen, rising and falling with his deep, easy breaths. He worries the right corner of his mouth with his top teeth, jaw clenching to keep in a full-bellied laugh. His lashes slowly dust the crests of his cheekbones with a seductive energy, a faint moan running along the undercurrent of his words, giving his voice a sultry twang. 

“Was it the one you were wearing when you undid the tie of my flannel pants, pushed them down my hips just enough to get my cock out, and then proceeded to tug me off while kissing up my throat, whispering on about how much you love it when I moan your name?” 

Y/N swallows thickly and she’d failed to notice that she was gripping the bag of marshmallows to her stomach, thankful that she was opposite to him over the counter or else he’d get a view of her slightly buckling knees. 

She abruptly tries to defuse the atmosphere of the room by clearing her throat loudly and switching topics. “Thanks for going to get these for—”

Harry isn’t having it, interrupting halfway through her attempt.

“Was it the one you were wearing when you were swallowing down the little whimpers escaping my mouth and begging me to cum for you? The one I got jizz all over when you tucked my hair behind my ear, pressed your warm lips to it and mumbled, ‘Want it so bad, Harry, please. I love how pretty you look when I make you feel good.’”

A loud popping sound punctures the tension toiling in the air, a shocked yelp accompanying the sound on behalf of Y/N. 

Their intense stare-down breaks to zero in on where the noise had stemmed— the bag pressed against Y/N’s navel. She had gripped it so tight it had burst open, spewing a few marshmallows across the coffee- and caramel-colored marbled counter. 

The blank look of remorsed surprise on Y/N’s features is what finally forces Harry to release the rib-splitting laugh he had been pushing down. 

Her head snaps up at him, eyes narrowing because this was his fault, after all. 

He covers the lower half of his face with his hand to try and stifle the giggles, but to no avail. They continue to wriggle free between the cracks of his fingers. 

Y/N sets down the bag carefully, making sure it’s positioned accordingly so nothing else rolls out. She mutters a colorful array of words under her breath as she collects the rouge marshmallows and Harry’s positive her choice of language would put her on parole in Heaven. 

He lifts his chin from his palm and reaches forward, plucking one between his thumb and forefinger and popping it into his mouth, chewing dramatically to flex his jaw because he can see her taking quick peeks up at him as she cleans. “That was the robe you were talking about, though, right?” 

She doesn’t look up, simply focusing on the task at hand, but her response carries the daggers her eyes would otherwise deliver. “Fuck off.” 

Harry decides that this moment is as good as any to give her the card, mostly because he knows it’ll either push her buttons in deeper or make her drop the grump act. 

He slides it across the smooth plain of the island into her line of sight. “Picked this up ‘cause it reminded me of you.”

Y/N squints at the card, taking in the message along with the risqué art. Her lips press into a thin line, her actions pausing as she hovers a marshmallow in her grasp above the little pile she’s made in her other hand. She blinks at the paper once, then again, and then her top lip twitches. He can immediately tell she’s trying to keep from smiling.

He feels his dimples whittle into place, a giddy burst of energy expanding in his chest now that he knows she liked it. He figured she would, but seeing it confirmed is much more fulfilling than he imagined. 

“It’s no knife to the chest like Romeo and Juliet but I’d say it’s a lovely sentiment. Plus, I’m not really looking to die again. Not a fan.”

His comment is the last piece of the puzzle that sends her into a wave of fond laughter. “God, you’re an idiot.” 

Harry returns her giggling with some of his boyish own, watching with pride as she places the stash of marshmallows back in the bag and then drags her fingers over the lace material glued onto the lingerie drawing, admiring it. 

“It’s called modern romance, darling. Get with the times, it’s not three thousand BC anymore.” 

The easy banter in his attitude causes her smile to grow a bit bigger; it’s easy to match. 

“Such a nice message. We should frame it, honestly. Show off how much of a hopeless loverboy you are.” 

Harry nods his head vigorously, rounding the corner of the counter until he’s standing in front of her, his fingers walking across the stone surface and she snorts at his silliness. His digits hike over the top of her’s, dropping flat to sift between them, feeling the light scratch of the perforated fabric as well as the sleekness of the laminated paper beneath it. 

His eyes flit up from where their hands conjoin, brows shrugging temptingly. “I think we should listen to the card first, though. We can put it up after we go through with its suggestion.” 

“Mm, I dunno…” Y/N squeezes his fingers sarcastically. “My hot chocolate’s about to be done and it’s been waiting much longer than you have.” 

Harry’s jaw drops in an open-mouthed smirk, a sound of airy delight tickling his tongue at the crudeness of her vague joke. “Did…Did you just willingly make a blowie joke?”

Y/N scrunches her brows with fake confusion, cocking her head to the side slightly as if she doesn’t have a single clue at what he’s talking about. “I don’t know, did I?”

Harry snakes his free arm around her hips, flushing their bellies together as he fully coils his fingers around the hand he’d been playing with. “Oh, I think you did.” 

He ducks down for a kiss, lips puckered and itching to caress her skin with his, only to be met with his girlfriend’s temple. She had turned away, biting along the inside of her bottom lip to maintain a cap on the little noises of glee threatening to overflow.

Harry sighs grandly, maneuvering his head to chase after her mouth, aiming for the jerking corner closest to him. She leans back a bit and swiftly jars her head to face the other side, condemning his target to be her left cheekbone instead. 

He groans in mild frustration, shifting their bodies until she ends up pushed against the edge of the counter, the dip of spine bending back over the table. Her hands find their way to his shoulders, coasting up to rest her palms at both of the curves of his neck. She thumbs over the hollow at the center of his throat, eyes flirting with his in a taunting manner. “Doesn’t taste so good when it’s your own medicine, does it?”

“You’ve taken up being the pest in the relationship then, have you?” The hand tangled with her’s goes slack, finding itself cradling her jaw, thumb tapping at the center of her bottom lip ominously. 

Y/N’s painfully aware of the way his forearm is flexing against the lower half of her back and she recognizes it’s in anticipation to lift her off her feet. Her toes curl in her pink socks and she goes a tad cross-eyed as his face draws closer. “No, that’s your job. I just thought I’d get on your nerves.”

“Why?”

“Just because.” 

“That’s a bit bratty, don’t y’think?” The tip of his cold nose feathers along the bridge of her’s. 

She draws her chin back, trying to keep their lips from meeting. “Maybe.”

Harry thrums thoughtfully deep in his chest and she can feel the vibrations transfer across her body, prickling along her cheeks and to the tips of her ears. “Well, you know what I do to brats, don’t you?”

Y/N is suddenly hoisted up off her footing and though she knew it was coming, she still reacts to it out of habit, arms fumbling messily around Harry’s shoulders to keep her from teetering. 

It had been the result he was hoping for because now she’s so close their Cupid’s Bows are knocking and he keeps her suspended for a second— a measly task courtesy of his inhuman strength. Her thighs clench around his hips, feet dangling behind him as she works to keep from slipping down, well aware that her socks would likely betray her to the smooth flooring and deposit her on her bum. 

The warm air of Harry’s low mumble makes the entire lower half of her face sting. 

“Brats get it fucked out of them.” 

Just then, at this energy-packed stand-still moment, the kettle goes off. 

Y/N has never been more thankful. 

She squirms in Harry’s arms and he doesn’t have a choice but to let her down, eyeing her with a condescendingly entertained gaze as she scrambles towards the stove to remove the shrieking kettle from its place. 

He can’t help himself.

He extends his arm forward, swatting at her ass before she’s gotten far enough that he can’t reach her. 

Y/N’s shriek is the same pitch as the kettle’s. 

She gives him the stink eye over her shoulder as he retakes his previous position on the counter with his elbows, chin in hand, the edges of a shit-eating grin peeking through as he bites into the side of his index finger. “I want some, too.”

She rubs her backside slowly as she shifts the kettle from the heated stovetop to a cool one, opening up the cupboard and bringing out two black mugs. She carefully pours the warm milk into each one, mixing in a few tablespoons of powdered cocoa along with some sugar. 

Y/N carries both over to the kitchen island, decorating the top of the mugs with a handful of marshmallows that begin to melt immediately. She pushes Harry’s towards him as she takes a sip of her own, still somewhat seething at him over the rim of her cup. 

Harry’s focuses in on the beverage, a mischievous glint flashing his eyes pitch black as he mumbles a spell underneath his breath. “Incendo.”

The powdery white candy suddenly catches alight, the royal blue fire lapping along the circumference of the mug and charring the contents inside.

Y/N chokes on her cocoa, spluttering into a round of panicked coughing; she hadn’t expected to see their kitchenware burst into flames anytime soon.

Harry’s eyes flit back to their usual juniper green, another enchantment tinging the air. “Exstinguo.” 

The fire goes out as quickly as it had ignited, leaving a very disheveled Y/N blinking dissociatively in its wake. Her sights then pin onto her boyfriend, irritation pinching her eyebrows together. “Was that really necessary?”

Harry shrugs nonchalantly, completely unbothered. “I like the smokey taste it leaves. Reminds me of s’mores.”

He brings the drink up to his mouth, blowing gently before tipping it back, feeling a soothing warmth wash down his neck and chest as it travels down his throat, the sweet, rich taste tingling his taste buds. An airy, appreciative purr rings from his chest. “S’good. Could use some bourbon, though.”

Y/N sets down her mug on the counter, still somewhat miffed, mostly because she knows he only did it to mess with her (probably as revenge for earlier). Both of her hands tighten around the ceramic surface, leeching its warmth into her body to help stifle the cold shot of adrenaline that had shot through her veins. She licks the marshmallow residue off her upper lip, tone passive. “Maybe a little warning next time? Would like a heads up before you try and melt one of our bowls.” 

“That takes all the fun away! It was supposed to be spontaneous.” Harry pauses, catching onto his unintended pun and grinning like an idiot. “Literally.” 

[merryfortune]

Day 9 /Sunflower

Clover and Violets 2021

Ship: Resurrectshipping | Catherine/Cyndia 

Universe: Duel Monsters

Word Count: 1,548

Rating: T

Tags: Pre-Canon, Adultery, Internalised Homophobia, Questioning, Missed Connections, Alcohol & Cigarettes

   The show had been fantastic. A vivacious shower of glitter and sparkly lights. It had completely and utterly taken Cyndia’s breath away. She couldn’t believe it. She was the sole person in the crowd who stood on both her feet, both her little kitty cat high heels, giving the magician and his stagehand a standing ovation.

   “Darling,” Pegasus hissed, “people are staring.” He leaned in hard to his lover.

   Cyndia huffed and she shook off his pet name for her as well as his sudden and unusual care for his - their or maybe just her - image. He had never cared for people staring so why was it an issue now?

   “Let them.” Cyndia told him, firm but under her breath.

   Pegasus shook out the ruffles of his own malcontent and Cyndia continued to applaud the end of the show. She was breathless as the thick, velvet curtains fell close with a swank and a swish. She grinned and she stood still where people were already perhaps a little too quick to leave.

   “We should see if they would let us backstage.” Cyndia excitedly suggested.

   “I do not believe that Pandora man is worth the time.” Pegasus sighed and shrugged.

   Cyndia groaned. “Oh, please, what do we have to lose?” she insisted and she knew damn well it wasn’t the magician man himself whom she was enamoured with. 

   He would never spill the secrets of his magic but there was a possibility someone else would. Someone with long, slender legs and silky, golden hair and luscious lips and wore fishnets and a bunny suit without the ears. Oh, Cyndia was blushing a rose pink just thinking about her. And how she could never tell her fiance about her feelings, as sudden and effervescent as they were. They were too out there but she wouldn't exactly say that she felt paid attention to by Pegasus right now.

   He rolled his eyes. “Anything for my wife to be, I am nothing but a slave to my passion for you, Cyndia.” he declared in his whimsical, airy voice. It seemed contradictory and it was but Cyndia let him be.

   Wearily, Pegasus got up and Cyndia began to sashay out the side of the seating. They trekked down the velour handled steps and with a flash of his cash, Pegasus got Cyndia the little present which she was after. She was so excited to be backstage of the casino with the magician and his assistant. 

   The walls were neater than they thought, a pastel orange with noticeable yellow hues, maybe a sepia. The trims were cream and looked just as frothy in their architecture. The doors were studded with buzzing lights and the like. Coming inside, it was an olfactory attack of chintzy perfumes and hair spray.

   “I’m always happy to meet my fans.” Pandora boasted.

   “How wonderful.” Cyndia said through gritted teeth. She flashed Catherine a look but Catherine looked away from her.

   She tucked a strand of her hair back behind her ear; the glitzy jewel in the stud of her earring caught the fluorescent light and dazzled Cyndia all over again. She wanted to get a little bit closer and to do that, she put her hands on Pegasus’s arm.

   “Say, dearest,” she began saccharine, “I’d love to get some make-up tips from Miss Catherine there, why don’t you and Pandora go take a light outside, hm?”

   Pandora laughed. “Does it really shine through my being that I’m a smoker?” he asked.

   “You reek, darling, of smoke. Anyone could make an educated guess about your bad habits.” Catherine giggled.

   “That I do, that I do. But I didn’t peg you for a smoking man, Crawford.” Pandora said, all too loudly.

   “Only cigars, of which I have a few and some, I’m even happy to share if you feel so inclined.” Pegasus said.

   “I’ll take the ones you don’t like out of your case, if you would be so kind.” Pandora offered.

   With that, the men were conveniently shuffled out of the backroom and now it was just the women and it wasn’t exactly the quiz show live connection that Cyndia had been hoping for it. It was actually a little bit awkward. A terse atmosphere of stolen glances and listening to tinny casino music emanate down from the main of the building. But Cyndia didn’t want to waste her chance with such a beautiful woman.

   She inched closer but Catherine played the role of a fortune teller. She stood tall, in her high heels with red soles, and held onto a chair, keeping her back straight and her diaphragm as tight as a drum.

   “Having relationship problems?” she asked.

   “Only a little.” Cyndia confessed. “You?”

   “Me too.” Catherina professed in equal admittance. “I can’t solve mine so don’t go hoping I can solve yours.”

   “Is it that obvious?” asked Cyndia, cringing at her own naivete. 

   “Like you wouldn’t believe.” Catherine lamented. Her expression, particularly in her eyes which were a honey brown colour and they looked melancholic yet snide. “I just wish he would stop spendin’ money we don’t have on his darts.”

   “I just wish that Pegasus would look at me and see a person. Sometimes, I swear, he looks right past me.” Cyndia said.

   Catherine sighed. She searched the vanity but quickly found what she wanted. A bottle of purebred Tennessee whiskey. It had sunflowers on the label and looping typography for its brand. Catherine didn’t pop the cap on it but she let the drink inside, a gorgeous amber, swirl against the glass.

   “Cheers to terrible men.” Catherine said.

   “And cheers to the women who put up with them.” Cyndia added and Catherine smirked. “I just think your really pretty.” Cyndia kept talking and now she was sounding like she was a child;; she chastised herself for it. “I’ve never felt that way about a girl before, you know?”

   “Mm, it is a bit confusing.” Catherine agreed.

   Finally, she did pop the cap on that whiskey and she turned it over. It would make a fine tumble glass. She’d take a drink and then Cyndia would take a drink. That would be all, or at least that’s what Catherine thought.

   Only, Cyndia came closer. She had such a peculiar way of walking. It was almost like she was floating, like a bubble, like a ghost. She laced her fingers over the bottle of whiskey, over Catherine’s hands and Catherine’s heart did something unexpected. It skipped a beat. She let Cyndia steal a sip straight from the lips. The taste of it singed her mouth, she winced and Catherine hiccupped as a laugh.

   But it wasn’t just the whiskey that Cyndia sampled - and Catherine let her taste it as well. The taste of her own kiss and it was everything that Cyndia had hoped for. It was plasticine and rosy. The only shame was how the taste of that whiskey burned her but she liked it. It was something different and it was something intoxicating. It smudged her nude pink lipstick on the way back. On the not quite retreat because Cyndia wanted to kiss Catherine more but it didn’t seem appropriate. She wanted a taste, a sampling, not to be drunk and especially not drunk with things she couldn’t have forever.

   “Thank you.” Cyndia whispered.

   “No worries.” Catherine replied, taking a swig of whiskey from the rim of the whiskey, unbothered but she thought it sweeter than when she had been drinking with her boyfriend. 

   The moment lingered somewhere far away from saccharine, thank goodness, Catherine thought. She drank a little bit more; Cyndia declined, happy to watch and even envy the whiskey droplets on the cupid’s bow of Catherine’s sublime lips.

   The men respective to their lives returned sooner than they thought. Neither of them noticed how their leading ladies had smudged lipstick. Both lied too expertly, like starlet actresses with a script, about what they had talked about. Already concealing their feelings.and going back to how they had been before. Before they had been imperfect strangers. Stealing glances; barely acknowledging one another save for the indirect.

   But gosh did Catherine savour that whiskey one last time as she and Pandora said goodbye to their impromptu guests. She was chided as rude but Cyndia wanted to disagree. She didn’t. But she did steal one last look and finally, their gazes met and for a moment, it was like starlight. 

   What exactly was stopping them from running away, they could go and join a circus together, it couldn’t be that hard. Catherine was already halfway there as a stagehand to a second rate magician and as a toy company aficionado's human toy, Cyndia wasn’t all that faraway either but they didn’t.

   They just bid each other their ados with the sour knowledge this was it and all they it would be. And they felt like sunflowers trying not to wither. Cyndia had to look at Pegasus; Catherine had to look at Pandora; they were just sunflowers following the suns that their lives already presently revolved around. Because that’s all that sunflowers could do. Stop and stare; steal glances and other longing gazes. But that wouldn’t stop them from being wistful for other stars and flames they might have been able to have kindled in another life. 

[jamaisjoons]

bloom | pjm

Summary: Jimin grows flowers in the garden of your chest wrought from the pain of your unrequited love. Hanahaki AU.

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff... lot’s of angst oh boy

Word Count: 15k

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, Park Jimin in general, switch!reader, switch!Jimin, light fingering, thigh riding, non-protective sex, creampies, and yet sweet, soft sex? 

A/N: I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t inspired by the lyrics ‘In this dream that won’t ever come true, I grew a flower that couldn’t be blossomed’ from Fake Love

Plant

def. put a seed in the ground so it can grow

It’s a cold winter day in Seoul, Korea. The streets are covered in a thick, soft blanket of snow that began settling as soon as the bustle of people that trudged through decreased. Now, there were barely any people outside, you were sure that if you looked out, you could count the number of people easily; which was completely different to what Seoul was usually like. Snowflakes still fall leisurely and the windows are frosted over, the icy glass showing warm scenes of children playing in the snow, or couples walking hand in hand through rows of plum blossom trees that have been stripped bare, instead covered in crystalline flowers made of ice.

You don’t really care to look out, instead you find yourself seated on a sofa, legs tucked under your butt, cup of hot chocolate in your hands, keeping you warm as you snuggle further into the warm quilt wrapped around you. You’re currently in the BTS household, enjoying a happy Christmas day as you sip your hot chocolate and leisurely read your book.

You had been introduced to BTS two and a half years ago, three years after their debut when you’d reconnected with your best friend, Hoseok. You say reconnected, when really you hadn’t lost touch. By reconnected, you just meant seeing each other and speaking a lot more regularly than the previous years. It had just been difficult keeping up regular correspondence with his busy schedule but the two of you had tried, speaking whenever he got some free time. Despite the change from hanging out with him almost twenty-four seven to only being able to speak to him for a few minutes a week, your friendship had somehow stayed strong. The two of you had grown up in Gwangju together and had always been as thick as thieves. Hoseok was like the brother you never had, the only real family you’d had left.

The first few years had been hard for them, you knew it. Hoseok would complain about the long nights and the less than pleasant sleeping arrangements. Sharing a single, cramped room with six other strangers was probably never going to be ‘pleasant’ but somehow it worked. You remembered nights when Hoseok would go on and on about each of the members, all their quirks and habits, things he loved about them and even things about them that annoyed him. Five years down the line however, those very same boys were practically family and you had never seen Hoseok smile as bright as he did when he was with them or even when he was performing.

A year ago, when you’d finally finished university and gained your doctorate, you’d moved to Seoul from Gwangju. Hoseok had been over the moon, bouncing around excitedly at how you’d finally be in the same city and be able to see each other more often. That is, as often as he could fit you in around his busy schedule. You had also finally met the boys, all of you laughing as if you’d known each other for years. Which, you supposed, you had. Hoseok had told you everything he could about them and vice versa. In turn, you had introduced Hoseok to your own best friends. The four girls who you had met during your time in university, who had become your sisters by choice.

So that brought you to today, two and a half years later, a Christmas day surrounded by the ones you loved the most. The smell of delicious food fills the air, Seokjin’s cooking making you salivate as he yells at his girlfriend, Sooji to stop touching things. You roll your eyes at that, wondering why she even bothers. She’s completely useless in the kitchen. You remember that one time she had tried cooking noodles at university but had somehow forgotten the actual noodles. You weren’t even sure how she’d managed that. You stifle a laugh when Seokjin finally kicks her out the kitchen, watching as she scowls before making her way to her other lover, sitting beside Yoongi as he plays the piano. Hae and Taehyung sit on the floor, the couple playing with Yeontan as the pup happily bounces about the two of them, enjoying the attention he’s receiving.

Hoseok’s raucous laughter joins the dulcet notes of the piano as he straddles his girlfriend, fingers wriggling across her sides and drawing out wild laughter from her. She hopelessly calls out to her other boyfriend, Namjoon, for help but her calls fall on the deaf years of the leader currently sitting opposite you; head so far buried into his book that he downs out the commotion around you. From the other side of you, Suri and Jungkook yell and swear, the two of them competing in what looks like a seriously intense match on Overwatch, Jungkook scowling at his girlfriend when she somehow beats him at his favourite game, accusing her of cheating with a pout.

“____?” Someone calls and you’re broken out of your thoughts as you turn around, smiling brightly at the newcomer. Park Jimin stands behind the sofa, peering at you with a large smile that has his eyes wrinkling.

“Jiminie! Hi, is there something you need? Where did you disappear off to?” You ask, shifting slightly when he sits right next to you.

“I actually went to go get my Christmas present for you” Jimin says and your eyes widen in surprise.

“You got me another present? You really didn’t have to” You said shyly, a small smile on your face. All of you had already exchanged gifts; and usually, all of you only exchange one gift between each other. You watched Jimin shrug as he handed you the beautifully wrapped present. the blue foil wrapping glistened in the warm light, gold glitter snowflakes imprinted on them twinkling as you took the present from him, eyeing the intricate bow on the top, wondering if he’d tied it himself. Jimin had always loved giving and wrapping presents.

“I just saw it, and it made me think of you” Jimin said with a shrug, urging you to open it. You carefully pulled the bow apart, peeling away the wrapping paper as you unwrapped the present. You felt your heart quicken slightly at the sight of the jewellery box, carefully opening it with shaky hands before letting out a soft gasp. There, nestled in the velvet box, was a delicate gold chain with a small flower pendant studded with incredibly small diamonds, that sparkled whenever it caught the light.

“Jimin, I-. This is too much” You choked out, trying to hand it back to him. Jimin simply shakes his head, refusing to take it back.

“____, it’s a gift! Like I said, I just saw it and it just made me think of you. Here, let me put it on” Jimin said, cautiously picking up the necklace, gesturing you to turn around. You slowly do so, pulling your hair into a high ponytail so it’s out of his way.

Jimin carefully places it around the column of your throat before lowering it slightly, so the pendant rests between your collarbones, at the base of your throat. You suck in a sharp breath when his fingers brush softly against the bare skin of your neck as he clasps the necklace. You release a breath you weren’t sure you were holding when he finally backs away, smiling brightly as he takes in the sight of the pendant against your skin. He lets out a small nod of approval, smile widening until his slightly crooked teeth are showing.

“I knew it’d look good on you! As if it was just made for you” Jimin chimes, but you barely hear it. Instead, your thoughts are occupied with nothing but him. You had always known he was gorgeous, a male Adonis walking the earth.

But for the first time in two and a half years, you reallylook at Jimin.

His hair is back to its natural dark colouring and despite the amount of times it’s been bleached, it still shines with a certain soft silken quality that you almost find yourself becoming jealous. It currently has a slight curl to it, falling in waves into his eyes and you can just imagine the cute little birthmark that it’s currently hiding. Your eyes dart over his face, taking in his beautiful warm olive skin; he’s currently barefaced, his cheeks tinged a slight pale rose colour, cheekbones almost glowing in the warmth of the light. His eyes are a sharp almond shape and heavily lidded, deep dark coffee irises peep at you through them, eyes twinkling with joy.  You find yourself thinking you like them best when they turn into slits, eyes crinkling in his signature eye smile, because he looks best when he’s happy.

His slightly wide nose sits between his adorable cheeks. They’re currently raised high, like small little mochis under his eyes. You want to reach over and pinch them, because really, how could anyone resist wanting to squish Park Jimin’s cheeks? They’re the cutest thing known to man and even the hardest of criminals would coo at them. You’re sure of that. Your eyes trace down to his full, plush lips. His upper lip is a perfect cupid’s bow and somehow his bottom lip is even fuller than his top. They look incredibly soft and pillowy and you find yourself wanting to pull them between your teeth and nibble at them. But you can’t. So instead, you trail your gaze towards the angular and well-defined curve of his jawline.

When your perusal is done, you conclude that Park Jimin is the most beautiful human to ever walk the earth. Between his ethereal looks, handsome facial features and adorable expressions, he really is an angel.

And it’s like you’re seeing Park Jimin for the first time.

Your chest constricts with a slight discomfort, but you brush it off because you don’t realise the significance of the ache.

You don’t realise that the seeds of love have been planted deep within your ribcage.

Germinate

def. a seed beginning to grow

A week later is the next time you see Jimin. It’s at a New Year’s Party that the boys are throwing. There are a few idols around that you recognise, but many of them you don’t. Everyone is dressed to the nines and despite your own ensemble consisting of a beautifully crafted forest green floor length dress (a gift from Hoseok, because the man wouldn’t take no for an answer and lovedto spoil you) you can’t help but feel insecure.

Female idols are all around you, their slim and stunning bodies putting yours to shame. But it’s not only that. They look so put together, make up expertly done so you can’t even tell they’re wearing any, skin radiating with a youthful glow and hair falling in locks of silk down their backs. Somehow everything about them is flawless, from their nails, to their hair, to their laughs. Everything is somehow perfect, and they hold themselves with a certain grace you know you’d never have. Somehow, it feels as if you don’t belong here, as if you’re intruding in on a world that will never really accept you.

“____, are you okay? You zoned out a bit” Sooji calls, and you turn to one of your best friends. Her face is morphed into a look of concern but you simply brush her off.

“Oh sorry, I’m fine really. I just spaced out, where are Seokjin and Yoongi?” You ask but she shrugs, letting out a small huff.

“Seokjin is stuffing his face with whatever hors d’oeuvres he can find and you know Yoongi, these kinds of things aren’t exactly his cup of tea. There’s too many people and it’s too noisy” Sooji explains, face softening at the thought of her boyfriend locked away in his room and you nod, sympathising for Yoongi because really, he did try to mingle and interact with others. But sometimes, the crowds and loudness were too much and he needed quiet time to recuperate.

“Oh, damn it, I can see Seokjin and he looks like he’s about to take a bite out of the cake before it’s served. I’ll see you around” Sooji called, waving at you before running off to stop her boyfriend. You rolled your eyes as you watch her scold Seokjin, the latter’s cheeks full of food, making him look oddly like a hamster.

You let out a little sigh before looking around, trying to figure out who to join. There aren’t many people you know here other than your best friends and the seven boys hosting. But as usual, they’ve split into couples. Suri, Hae, Jungkook and Taehyung are speaking to some idols, laughing up a storm and your heart grips with envy at the way the boys hold their respective girlfriends, their fingers rubbing their backs soothingly every so often. It’s a mindless touch, you’re sure they don’t even realise they’re doing it. But you suppose that when you’re in a comfortable relationship, sometimes touches lose their shallow meaning and you do so for no other reason than the deeper comfort it provides you.

Sooyun is dancing with Hoseok and Namjoon and none of them are taking it seriously, you can tell by Hoseok’s highly exaggerated movements and the way Namjoon’s expressions change. Sooyun laughs out loud when Namjoon pulls a particularly racy face as he thrusts his hips, her body falling into Namjoon’s, shaking with giggles. You notice Namjoon’s slightly pink tinged cheeks, but watch as he brushes off his own embarrassment in keeping his girlfriend entertained.

“They’re a cute couple, right?” A voice chimed and you jumped slightly, startled out of your thoughts for the second time that night. You turn to Jimin, brows furrowed slightly before smacking him.

“Jimin! You terrified me, don’t just pop out of nowhere like that” You scolded, Jimin only giggling at you.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you, you were just staring really intensely at Sooyun-ah, Hobi-hyung and Namjoon-hyung” Jimin laughed and you shrugged.

“You’re not wrong, they do make a cute couple. But sometimes I really feel like I’m third wheeling this entire group… or well eleventh wheeling” You replied as you counted the couples, Jimin laughing loudly.

“Well then count me as the twelfth wheel. But I get your frustration, it’s annoying when everyone is paired up” Jimin grins and you feel your heart flutter slightly. He’s dressed in a dark blazer, embroidered with intricate patterns made of silver thread, the look finished with a simple but tight-fitting white shirt and black slacks. His hair is dyed white blonde, in preparation for their newest comeback, and his eyes sparkle, as if they hold a constellation of stars within them. He looks as amazing as he always does, kind of like a fairy-tale prince come to life.

“Yeah it does, especially when they all start trying to eat each other’s faces off” You joke and he grins at you brightly, covering his face with his small, slightly chubby hands before leaning into you slightly.

“____! Don’t let the hyungs or Taehyungie and Jungkookie hear you say that!” Jimin admonished and you feel your heart gripe slightly, the tinkling sound of his laugh filling your eardrums. You’re sure his laugh causes flowers to bloom and angels to sing. You don’t think you’ve ever heard something more beautiful.

“Damn, it’s getting loud! Let’s go outside” Jimin says and before you can protest, he grabs you by the hand and drags you towards the garden. You suppress a slight shiver, it’s still winter in Seoul and the night air is crisp, the hairs on your neck prickling as goosebumps crawl over your skin.

“Sorry for dragging you out here, it’s probably not the most ideal considering the weather but it means we can speak without having to yell. Here you go” Jimin says, shrugging off his blazer before wrapping it around your shoulders.

“Jimin wait, you’ll be cold” You began protesting, trying to hand it back to him, but Jimin just shrugs you off.

“It’s fine! You need it more than me and it’s the least I could do since I basically pulled you out here. That dress is really pretty by the way, I thought it’d look nice on you. The colour really flatters your skin tone” Jimin compliments; your body stiffens and you look at him with wide eyed curiosity.

“Seok bought me this dress, how would you have known it would look nice on me?” You inquire and even under the light dusting of his foundation, you can see his peeks tinge a beautiful pink, a shade of soft peony that has you wanting to reach out and squeeze them.

“Yeah, I was there when he bought it… he said he really needed help shopping for your Christmas present” Jimin confessed.

“I… thank you. It was a good pick” You thanked, your hair falling into your eyes slightly. But before you react, Jimin is already reaching over for you. His fingers brush your hair, tucking it behind your ears.

You suck in a sharp breath and this time, when you shiver, it’s not due to the cold. His fingers are warm against your skin and even that slight skimming of his skin against yours sends tingles down your nerves. Jimin has always been very touchy feely, skin ship is not something he avoids. In fact, you’ve lost count of the times he’s brushed your hair out of your eyes before, lost count of the amount of times you’ve cuddled up against each other or held hands. No, Jimin is very big on skin ship and it means nothing. Which is why you try not to over think the action.

But you can’t help yourself.

Once again, your chest aches, right where your heart should be. This time, it’s a sharp ache and you’re not sure what it means. It’s gone before you can think it over and you brush it off.

But once again, the significance of the ache is lost on you.

You don’t realise that the seed of love has begun to germinate.

Root

def. to grow roots

Over the next few months, it’s comeback season. The boys are everywhere promoting and yet despite how busy they are, you still see them more often than not. The girls are always dragging you to their promotions, standing in the back as you all watch them either perform on stage, or in a crowd during their tour. Each time, each performance, each interview, you find yourself drawn to Jimin. You hang off his every one of his words, almost squealing when he speaks English perfectly. He’s improved a lot, you note.

You find yourself enraptured by the way his body moves when he dances, each and every movement perfectly calculated. He’s incredibly graceful, moves with the fluidity of water and the sensuality of a seasoned salsa dancer. You’re completely mesmerised by him, your eyes always trained on him, no matter who is speaking. And after they’re done, you find even more of your time being taken up by him. The two of you tire of constantly eleventh and twelfth wheeling, so you find yourself spending more and more time together.

You have known Park Jimin for almost three years now. But it feels like you’re just getting to know him. He tells you about his love for dance, and how he used to excel in school, always the top of his class. You believe everything he tells you because you can see it. He’s always been a perfectionist, always wanting to better himself and somehow it just makes sense that he was a studious person. He tells you about his previous dream of being a police officer and changing the world for the better. You tell him he’s doing more to change the world as a member of BTS than he could have done as a police officer. He blushes, but you know it’s the truth. You wouldn’t lie. Not to him.

Another week later, and the comeback season is finally done, the boys getting to rest for a while before they have to do anything else. That is why you find yourself on the beach on Jeju Island. Everyone is here, Seokjin and Hoseok playing in the water with Suri and Sooji while Jungkook tries to drag Yoongi into the water; the Maknae very easily picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder until Yoongi has no option but to get wet, much to his chagrin. Taehyung and Hae have gone on a short walk down the coastline, Taehyung wanting to explore and find some scenery to practice his photography. A little further away from you are Sooyun and Namjoon, the two walking the rocky tidal zone looking for crabs.

Besides you sits Jimin. He’s the epitome of relaxed, dressed in some boardshorts and a loose short sleeved t-shirt, he lounges against the picnic blanket, body stretched out and legs crossed. He’s leaning on his elbow, wind rustling through his hair but he doesn’t care. His focus completely fixated on the book he’s reading, his eyes darting across the pages. Before you know what you’re doing, you’re once against studying him, your gaze intense as you take in every single detail of him.

“Is there something you need?” Jimin asks, his gaze flicking up to you and you let out a little gasp when you lock eyes. He’s smiling mischievously, the corners of his eyelids crinkling. But it’s the colour of his eyes that have you gasping, the usually earthy irises catch the sun at the perfect angle, causing them to lighten into a beautiful warm honey colour that draws you in. Vaguely, at the back of your mind, you think it feels like sunshine and home.

“I- what?” You ask, slightly dazed. His booming laugh is like being doused by cold water down your back and you shake your head slightly, snapping out of your reverie.

“You’ve been staring at me for the past fifteen minutes, is there something on my face?” Jimin asks curiously, but you recognise the teasing tone. Your skin flushes and you feel your ears burn from embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise. I was just lost in my own thoughts” You murmured, looking away causing him to laugh at you again.

“That’s alright, you were probably blinded by my handsomeness. Wow, I sound like Jin-hyung” Jimin teased before catching himself, looking perturbed at the thought of becoming like Seokjin. You supress a small squeak, because even though he was joking, he had hit the nail on the head. You wereblinded by how handsome he was.

“Hey, you wanna go get some ice cream? It’s so hot, I feel like cooling down” Jimin asked all of a sudden as he spots the small café nearby and you nodded, accepting his invitation. Jimin quickly asks everyone if they’d want ice cream, but everyone refuses and so the two of you find yourself walking in a comfortable silence.

“Hey! Can I get a chocolate scoop for me and a cookie and cream, for ____? Oh, in a waffle cone! She loves waffle cones” Jimin requests kindly when you get to the little café. Your head snaps to him in amazement, his smile bright as he hands you the ice cream.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Jimin asks, leading you to a table before helping you into the seat.

“You remembered my ice cream order and the fact that even though they’re really messy, I love waffle cones” You reply shyly, Jimin shrugging as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“I know more about you than you realise” Jimin says cheekily, a small knowing smile on his face. Your eyebrow quirks in response as you feed yourself some ice cream.

“Oh really? Like what?” You taunt, and Jimin chuckles.

“I know you hate Jin-hyung’s beef” Jimin deadpans and you choke on your ice cream, looking at him wide eyed.

“W-W-What makes you say that? I’ve never said anything bad about his beef” You cough and Jimin rolls his eyes, eyes dancing with mirth.

“You don’t have to. You find it dry and I can tell because you either always avoid his beef, saying you prefer pork when I know for a factyou hate pork, or you always seem to drink an entire litre of water when you eat his beef” Jimin explains knowingly and you try to supress a blush, but the sudden heat around your cheeks lets you know you fail.

“Please don’t tell him! I love Jin’s cooking, really. It’s just he tends to overcook the beef” You sigh, shoulders deflating and Jimin lets out a gentle laugh.

“Don’t worry your secret is safe with me” Jimin winks and you feel your heart flutter. You almost want to point out that he says he can’twink but you stop yourself.

“So, you know I don’t like Jin’s beef and somehow you know that I hate pork. What else does thePark Jimin know about me?” You ask curiously.

“Hmmm, good question. But that would reveal all my cards” Jimin says with a teasing smirk and you pout, letting out a soft whine.

“Aish, how can I refuse when you’re being so cute?” Jimin asks fondly and you immediately blush, looking down shyly at his compliment.

“Well, what else do I know about you? Well for starters I know you can’t sing” Jimin jokes and this time, you flush out of embarrassment, especially when he starts laughing.

“Hey! Not everyone has an angelic fucking voice” You grumble, crossing your arms and glaring at him. Really? How could he just mock you like that?

“Aish, don’t get so offended. It’s okay. Not everyone can but I know you took singing lessons because you love to sing. I also know you have ridiculous stage fright, but that doesn’t stop you singing. I like it when you sing” Jimin confesses and you scrunch your eyebrows in confusion.

“I can’t sing, as you so nicely pointed out” You pout and he nods before looking at you earnestly.

“Yes, but I still like it when you do. Because you only do it when you’re completely comfortable around the person you’re with, or when you think you’re alone. I like when you sing in the shower most. Don’t get me wrong, you’re tone deaf and really loud. Like reallyloud. Almost screaming. But it means you’re comfortable and relaxed, I like that. Sometimes you even sing around me without realising and it makes me happy” Jimin admits and you find yourself unable to control your blushing, mumbling out an apology. But he stops you, stating that he loves your voice, tone deaf and all. You pout slightly, sticking your tongue out at him and he laughs, his voice echoing across the almost deserted beach.  Once he’s done laughing at your misfortune, he continues, revealing everything he knows about you. And it’s a lot.

He tells you about how he can tell when you dislike something just from the way your nose slightly scrunches. He tells you that he’s noticed the small dimples on your cheeks, ones that almost never show because they’re not as prominent as Namjoon or Hoseok’s. He tells you he loves your dimples, because not only do they match his, but because whenever he sees them, he knows that you’re happy as they only show when you’re smiling really hard. He admits that he knows white lilies are your favourite flower, and that he was the one who sent bouquets of them to your house every week for two months after they put your dog down. He admits that he himself cried when he found out, wishing he could have been there to comfort you but knowing you would have wanted your space.

He tells you that he knows you love to fish, and that it was one of your favourite childhood memories, summers filled with boat rides out on a lake with your grandfather. He also knows that while you love to fish, you can never bring yourself to kill them and therefore always set them free, your grandfather scolding you lovingly for being too soft. He also admits that he knows you cried once again for two straight months after said grandfather passed away and how he wished he could make it so you wouldn’t ever lose anyone you loved again.

He continues revealing little details he knows about you and the two of you talk until the sun begins setting. You sit, completely enraptured as you listen to him list of little quirks and characteristics. You had never had anyone pay so much attention to you; never had anyone who knew you almost better than you know yourself. When he’s finally down, you have no words. So instead, you just look at him, eyes filled with words you simply cannotexpress.

You take in the sight of him, almost radiant with the beautiful backdrop of the setting sun. He glows a beautiful shade of amber, the light forming almost a halo around him. He looks relaxed, smiling at you with a slight tilt to his head.

And suddenly your chest lurches.

You let out a small gasp, bending over, clutching a hand to your chest as you breathe deeply. Vaguely, you hear Jimin jump out of his seat, rushing to your side; trying to make sure you’re okay. But you can’t respond. Instead, you close your eyes, wincing at the tell-tale stinging feel of tears as a sharp pain flares between your ribs. You let out a choked sob when your chest tightens, the pressure becoming almost too much. It felt like something was squeezing your lungs and wrapping around your heart.

“____! ____! Are you okay? What’s wrong” Jimin asks, shaking you slightly and after a couple more moments the sensation begins ebbing from a searing pain to a dull ache. You take in a deep breath, finally able to breathe again. You open your eyes, blinking away the tears before swallowing thickly.

“I’m fine, it’s okay. I don’t know what happened” You reply, your throat raspy and Jimin’s face contorts into a look of worry.

“I think we should get you to the hospital” Jimin says but you quickly shake your head.

“No! I’m okay really, it’s probably nothing. Don’t worry” You reply, sending him a small smile and Jimin goes to argue, but quickly stops himself, nodding at you tersely.

For the third time, you completely ignore the obvious warning.

You fail to realise that the seeds of love have deeply rooted into your chest.

Bud

def. form a growth for development into a flower

It’s two weeks after your trip to Jeju with the boys when you get a text from Jimin. You’ve been speaking almost non-stop the past two weeks, flirty texts making up the majority of your interactions. But you don’t think much of it, especially as you know Jimin’s a big flirt. You ignore the slight clench of your heart when his name pops up on your phone screen, instead unlocking your phone and opening up his latest message.

Jiminie: hey, you busy?

You: not particularly, what’s up?

Jiminie: I found this cute little ramen place about a ten-minute walk from your home. How quickly can you get here?

You: lmao, king of last-minute plans Park Jimin strikes again, I can be with you in twenty-minutes, are you already there?

Jiminie: you know it princess ;) I’ll grab us a table! Hurry, can’t wait to see you xo

You bite your lip, trying and failing to suppress your oncoming grin. You quickly begin getting dressed before rushing out of your apartment. You check your phone, using maps to navigate to the location Jimin had messaged you. Eventually, you find the place. A cute little family run restaurant, covered in brown wood with comfy cream booths and warm, low lighting. You quickly enter, locating Jimin fairly easily.

He’s tucked away in the corner, dust mask and black beanie on his head, light blue hair poking out; most likely worn in order to prevent anyone recognising him. You take in a deep breathe, smoothing out your wind swept hair and the non-existent wrinkles from your dress before nervously approaching him.

You’ve hung out with Jimin a lot lately, but this is the first time it’s felt so intimate. The atmosphere of the restaurant and the low lighting does nothing to help your nerves. A voice at the back of your head wonders if this is a date, and for a split second you entertain the thought before quashing it down. There was no way Park Jimin, Prince of Busan, would everask you on a date. You were just friends.

“Jimin-ah, hey!” You say, smiling brightly before sliding in opposite him. Jimin immediately perks up, back straightening as he pulls down his dust mask until it rests under his chin. The action does nothing but bring attention to his particularly soft cheeks, making your heart soften slightly.

“____! Hey, wow you look pretty!” Jimin compliments enthusiastically and you feel your ears heat up, shaking your head before opening your mouth to protest.

“Hey, no look at me” Jimin says, cutting you off and you your head stills, eyes locking with his, “I mean it, you look pretty, you always do” Jimin says earnestly. You take in a short, silent breath at the deep honesty in his eyes and words before ducking your head slightly, thanking him quietly.

“So, what’s good here?” You ask, changing the conversation and looking at the menu.

“To be honest, I don’t know. I just saw the place while I was walking by and remembered how much you loved ramen, so I invited you out. I think you mentioned wanting to try this place out a while ago but I’m not sure” Jimin replies with a shrug. Once again, you find yourself astounded by how much he knows about you, because you hadwanted to try this place and hadmentioned it… over a year ago. In fact, even you’d forgotten about it. But he had remembered, and you couldn’t help but feel touched by how thoughtful Jimin really could be.

“Well, I’ve heard the spicy chicken ramen with bok choy is good, we can try that” You suggest and Jimin nods.

“Whatever you want, I’m fine with. Oh! These are for you. The last time I sent you flowers was when your grandad died and before that was when your dog died. I thought maybe I had to rectify that. Can’t have all the flowers I send you be due to grief” Jimin says with a wink, handing you a bouquet of red roses and white lilies. Once again, a voice nags at the back of your head, because friendsdon’t treat each other like this. Friends don’t remember the restaurant you wanted to try a year ago, friendsdon’t buy you bouquets of your favourite flowers for no reason, and friendsdon’t flirt like Park Jimin does with you. But that’s exactly what you are. Friends.

“Oh wow, they’re beautiful. Thank you” You say, floored by the emotion bubbling in your chest. You take the bouquet from him, inhaling deeply, basking in the sweet scent of the roses and musky, heady scent of the lilies.

“Just like you” Jimin says once again with a wink and you almost have the mind to call him out for his constant lies about not being able to wink. But you don’t. Because you don’t want to ruin the moment. So instead, you fall into an easy conversation, talking about your days, the different projects the boys are running and more.

At some point, you order ramen but by the time it arrives the two of you are so absorbed in your conversation, you completely forget that the main reason you had come to the restaurant was because you had wanted to try the ramen in the first place. The two of you are barely eating, slurps of ramen few and far between the easy banter between the two of you. You feel completely comfortable with him, to the point where you don’t mind when a bit of soup dribbles down his chin or when you snort out of laughter, choking on some noodles.

By the time you’re done, it’s late at night and the two of you have exhausted any available conversation. But the silence isn’t awkward; instead you sit completely comfortably, just basking in the presence of each other. When you’re ready to leave, Jimin pays the bill, refusing to let you pay with a slight glare.

The two of you leave the restaurant, walking into the crisp late spring night. He walks you home, shoulders slightly bumping into each other as you walk, hands brushing against each other’s. Before you know it, you’re back at your apartment building and you regret how close the restaurant is to your apartment. You turn to Jimin, smiling shyly up at him. For the first time, you notice his height. He’s not particularly tall compared to the other boys, but he’s a good few inches taller than you.

Jimin smiles brightly at you before pulling you into a hug. You’re slightly surprised, although you’re not sure why because Jimin has hugged you goodbye countless of times before. This time however, it feels different. Somehow, he feels warmer, his touch feels more intimate. You bury your head into his neck ever so slightly, breathing the deep musky scent of his cologne over the tell-tale natural smell of chocolate and coffee that belonged solely to Jimin. Your arms automatically wrap around his neck, while his wrap around your waist and you simply stand in that position. At some point, you think he takes in a deep breath, nose buried in your hair. But you think you’ve imagined it. You’re unsure for how long you stand there, the street illuminated by the moon and soft glow street lamps, but all too soon, he’s pulling away giving you a soft smile before beckoning you upstairs.

You blush slightly, glad for the cover of the night before waving and walking away. You’re slightly dazed, his intoxicating scent still clouding your mind and before long, you’re in your apartment. You can’t even recollect even climbing the stairs, no opening your door. Rather than pondering it however, you begin getting ready for bed, a soft smile playing on your lips as you remember the night’s events instead. When you replay the hug in your mind however, you feel slightly choked up.

You begin coughing suddenly, wondering why it feels like something bulbous is lodged in the back of your throat. All of a sudden, you begin coughing violently, your throat raw as you try to dislodge whatever is stuck in your throat. Your eyes burn with tears but no matter how hard you cough, it simply won’t budge. You panic slightly and rush to the kitchen, pouring yourself a glass of water before chugging it down.

You feel it go down slightly and quickly pour yourself a second before gulping that down too. Relief washes over you when it finally dislodges and you breathe deeply, hand on your throat, trying to soothe the slightly raw flesh with soft rubs. You’re unsure as to what happened, but you chalk it up to a freak accident. And looking back, you wished you had realised sooner. You wish you had noticed the signs early on.

But you don’t.

Instead as usual you stay oblivious to the flowers of love budding deep within your chest.

Effloresce

def. reach an optimal stage of development; bloom/blossom

It’s another week later when you find yourself standing in the Bangtan household once again. You haven’t been here since New Year’s Eve but now summer is on the horizon, the spring blossoms giving way to the summer blooms. Once again, you find yourself alone with Jimin. Tonight, is one of the last nights that the boys have off before being thrust back into their hectic schedule. Your best friends take advantage and drag their respective boyfriends out on dates in order to spend quality time with them.

Which is why you find yourself sitting next to Jimin on the sofa, your back against his chest and head resting in the crook of his shoulder as you both sip your wine, watching whatever Korean Drama that was playing. If you were being honest, you stopped paying attention after your third glass of wine. Although, your lack of attention had more to do with Jimin’s hands moving from your waist to your hips, drawing lazy circles on the slight exposed skin rather than the alcohol.

You shift yourself slightly, trying to distract yourself from his seemingly innocent ministrations but all you achieve is brushing the soft of your ass against his hardened, thick thighs and crotch. Jimin lets out an involuntary moan and your breath hitches when his fingers grip your waist tightens, fingers pressing into the flesh of your hips. His head falls into the crook of your neck, soft lips brushing against the hot skin of your neck.

“Tell me to stop” Jimin breathes against your skin and you let out a shudder at the want in his voice. You’ve barely done anything and he’s just as breathless as you are.

“Tell me to stop or I won’t until this ends” Jimin whispers against and your throat goes dry at his words, his lips continue caressing your skin, pressing light kisses against the column of your throat.

If you’re being completely honest, it’s hard to think right now. But all you know is that you don’t wantto stop. You should.By god do you know that you should.This was certainly crossing boundaries and you were both walking into unchartered territory. It was wrong and you had no idea how this would affect your relationship. But you didn’t want to stop. You wanted him to pick you up and carry you to his room before leaving you nothing but a quivering mess. So instead you press your hips further into his, straining your neck and giving him better access.

“Please don’t” You almost beg and Jimin groans against your skin.

“What do you want Princess?” Jimin asks, tongue swiping against the shell of your ear before sucking purple flowers against the sensitive skin just under your earlobe.

“You” is your only answer and Jimin immediately flips you over so you’re under him, smashing his lips against yours. As soon as you feel his lush lips against yours, you feel time stop. All you comprehend is the deep scent of him that clouds your sense and the sensation of his lips against yours. His tongue presses against your lips, begging for entrance and you allow it, your lips parting before moaning as your tongues entangle.

One of his hands trails down your side to your thigh before hooking it around his hips, his other hand bracing himself above you. His hips between your parted legs start moving, slowly grinding against your heat. You let out a strangled cry against his lips at the stimulation; your hands moving to his ass, gripping them as you tried to pull him closer to alleviate the heat between your legs.

“Fuck you’re so hot Princess” Jimin whispers against your lips when you finally part, looking down at your through lidded eyes. His lips moved to press soft kisses against your throat before trailing down to the slight exposed skin between your collar, on the pendant of the necklace he’d gifted you for Christmas. Deft fingers begin unbuttoning your shirt, his lips brushing and nipping at the skin slowly being exposed until he reaches the waistband of your jeans. He pulls you up so that you’re sitting up before pushing your shirt of you, his hands pressing against your back and pulling you flush against his chest as he kisses you senseless once again.

His hands quickly undo the clasp of your bra before removing it from your body, head dipping down to the valley of your breasts, lips sweeping against the soft globes before wrapping his lips around your nipple, laving until it hardens, suckling on the teat. Your hands move to his hair, tugging the locks as you push him further into your breast, whimpering above him. His hands move to your hips once again before he shifts so his back is against the sofa, your legs straddling him. Your hands move to the hem of his t-shirt, Jimin breaking away from your breast so you could divest him of his shirt before his lips attach to your other nipple.

While he continues lavishing attention upon your breasts, your hands dance against his shoulders, bracing yourself as you begin grinding down on his member. Jimin hisses against your chest as you smirk. You continue your actions, heat pressed right against his hardened shaft as you move slowly, drawing soft whimpers from the male. You tug at his hair making him detach from your breast before you get up, shimmying out of your jeans and underwear until you’re completely naked. Jimin’s eyes darken until they’re almost black, his gaze slowly trailing down every curve of your body before resting between your thighs, arousal dripping down the soft flesh.

“Damn, you’re so beautiful, come here Princess” Jimin calls peering up at you as he pulls you closer by the hips, one hand moving between your thighs and cupping your sex. You buck against his hand, throwing your head back with a soft cry as one of his thick fingers slides through your slit, parting the lips before pressing into your honeyed hole. He moans at the tight heat encasing his digits as he pumps into you slowly, stretching your walls. He pulls his hand away, groaning as a string of your arousal attaches to his fingers. His digits are completely soaked and you watch through lust filled eyes, gazes locked on each other as he flicks his tongue out, licking at the coating of slick on his fingers.

“Is that all for me Angel?” Jimin asks, tongue swirling around his finger.

“All for you baby boy” You replied with a nod, a playful smirk on your lips as you crawl back into his lap. Except this time, your legs are on either side of his left thigh. You decide you’ve had enough of being passive and lower your heat onto his jeans, groaning at the rough material against your sensitive clit. Jimin’s hands move to your hip and you tut, removing them off you before pinning them against the couch.

“Uh-uh baby boy, did I say you could touch? No, I want you to watch as I get off using your thighs” You mumble into his ear, pulling his earlobe between your teeth as you nibble on the soft flesh. He whimpers under you but obliges, a complete flip from the dominating personality he was showcasing earlier. You begin grinding against his thigh, throwing your head back and moaning as you stimulate yourself. Jimin can feel your searing heat on his thigh, his jeans quickly darkening with your dripping arousal.

“Fuck, you look so good” Jimin compliments, eyes trained on where your sex meets his thighs, watching in rapt fascination as the darkened patch gets darker and darker. You quiver above him, sucking in sharp but shaky breaths as you grind against him hard. Your fingers move to the nape of his neck, entangling in the thick locks there as you continued moving above him. Suddenly he begins flexing his thigh and you let out a soft shriek, as you’re stimulated further by the hardness of his muscles.

“Are you gonna cum for me Princess? Are you gonna cum and make a mess of my jeans? Look at them, they’re completely soaked but you can do better can’t you?” Jimin asks from under you and you tug at his hair, hissing slightly at him. He’s trying to take back dominance with his dirty talk and you’re having none of it. So instead, you locate the imprint of his dick, hard and straining against his jeans before sitting down until your pussy is pressed against his tip. Jimin lets out a whine and you smirk above him, sliding your cunt up and down his thigh, clit brushing against the head of his dick ever so slightly. You know it’s torturous, you can tell by the way he begins bucking underneath you, mewling softly.

“Be a good boy and play with my clit baby” You whimper above him, and Jimin immediately obliges, hand pressed against your abdomen as his thumb prods into your clit, rolling the bundle of nerves in hard, tight circles. You cry above him, throwing your head back and arching your back as you begin shuddering. Heat swells in the pit of your stomach, your thighs shaking on either side of Jimin’s. The coil of pleasure snaps when Jimin pinches your clit, bending over and taking your nipple back into his mouth. All of a sudden, your nerves are electrified with pleasure, toes curling from strength of your orgasm, thighs shaking as you cry in euphoria. Your body goes slack and you fall, unable to hold yourself up.

“Shhh, it’s okay Princess, you’re okay” Jimin says into your chest, his head between your breast. He catches you quickly before you can fall, arms wrapping around your waist as he holds you to him. Jimin presses soothing kisses into your shoulder, holding your trembling body as he rubs your back, waiting for you to come down from your high.

“Fuck me” You beg through laboured breaths. Your cunt continues clenching around nothing, your pussy sopping and dripping with your cum as you drench his jeans. They’re probably beyond repair at this point, considering how wet they are.

“Are you sure Princess? Will you be able to handle it?” Jimin asks in concern, not wanting to overstimulate you, but you couldn’t care less. Your heat aches, needing to be filled and you’re sure if he doesn’t fuck you, you’re going to lose your mind.

“Please Jimin, fuck me” You plead once again and immediately Jimin growls, he flips you over so your back is pressed against the couch. You pull your legs up, bracing your feet against the edge of the sofa as you spread your legs wide. Jimin groans at the sight, quickly undoing his jeans before pushing both them and his boxers off of his figure. You bite your lip when his dick is finally revealed, his of average length but absolutely thickand wet; drippingwith precum. You watch through a lustful haze as he pumps his member, wetting his dick with his own precum.

He shifts forward rubbing the head of his cock between your lips and making you moan, bucking your heat against him. He manoeuvres his dick until the head is pressing into you. You let out a soft whine when he pushes into you, hands moving to his shoulders, nails digging into the flesh, face scrunching up at the stretch. He’s impossibly thick and it feels like he’s splitting you open, his hard shaft fucking your walls open, forcing them to stretch and accommodate him. You breathe deeply, biting your lip until you draw blood as you feel him finally bottom out.

“Fucking shit, you’re so tight. I should have stretched you, I’m sorry Princess” Jimin says, bending over and kissing your closed eyes as he stills, waiting for you to adjust to the size of him.

“Fuck, it’s so full. Move Jimin, fuck me hard” You plead and Jimin lets out a soft growl, his hands move to your hips, fingers digging into your hipbones before pushing them down into the couch, holding you still. He pulls out before thrusting back in, in one swift motion before he begins rutting into you. You gasp, hands moving from his shoulders to wrap around his neck, clutching on desperately as he wrecks you underneath him.

“Don’t worry Princess, I’ll fuck this pretty little pussy open until you can’t walk anymore” Jimin grits out, punctuating each of his words with a hard thrust. His hips move in tantalising ways, his dancer’s hips aiding his motions.

“Shit, look at you. Look at that pussy stretching around my thick cock. You take my dick so well baby” Jimin praises, his eyes trained on the sight of his cock moving in and out of your cunt. You clench at his words, feeling your orgasm building once again and Jimin whines as you tighten further.

“Fuck, are you cumming again already baby? Gonna soak my cock in your cum?” Jimin asks and you nod underneath him, hands on his neck as you pull him down for a sloppy kiss. Your lips move against each other as he continues fucking himself into you.

“Play with your clit for me Princess, let me see you get off” Jimin urges against your lips, his eyes watching as one of your hands moves to play with your clit. You rub your sensitive bundle of nerves, thighs shaking once again as you feel your orgasm approaching.

“Shit… just like that baby, that’s so hot” Jimin groans as you begin shuddering under him, gasping for air as he fucking harder into you.

“I’m close… Jimin I’m so close please” You cry, tears pooling in your eyes.

“Cum. Cum for me Angel” Jimin orders and immediately your body seizes up, muscles locking as you cry out his name, thighs shaking and pussy quivering around him as your walls tighten. Jimin continues fucking into you, despite how tight you get, one of his hands joining yours as you both play with your clit.

“Jimin! FUCK” You scream and suddenly you cum, gushing around him and soaking his cock, tears streaming down your cheeks. He continues thrusting into you, loud squelching noises filling the air as your skin slaps against each other.

“Shit. Shit. Shit I’m cumming. Let me cum in you baby” Jimin pleads and you have no energy to respond, so you simply nod, silently pleading with him to finish and cease his assault of unadultered pleasure on your body.

“Fuck, ____” Jimin whines and then you feel his cum splash into you, coating your walls white with his thick semen. You groan, quivering underneath him as Jimin places soft kisses against your collarbone, slowly pumping his cum into you before stilling when the stimulation becomes painful. The two of you stay like that for a couple moments, coming down from your high before Jimin goes soft, pulling out of you. As soon as he pulls out, you feel him begin to drip out of you, groaning at the sensation.

“Damn, we made a mess. Hold on” Jimin says before standing up and walking into the kitchen. You stay where you are, unable to move, staring up at the ceiling. You had just fucked Park Jimin. Holy shit. What would happen now? Before you can overthink anything however, Jimin returns with a wet cloth as he slowly begins cleaning you up. When he’s done he returns to the kitchen to chuck the cloth into the washing machine before coming back to you. He peers at your completely fucked out form, breath still laboured and skin flushed.

“Can you walk?” Jimin asks and you don’t have it in you to answer, so you simply shake your head no. Jimin chuckles before approaching you and picking you up before carrying you to his room. He carefully places you on the bed before drawing the covers over you.

“I need to clean up the living room before everyone gets home. Get some rest” Jimin says softly and you nod before turning to your side, curling up as you drift off into sleep.

It’s a couple hours later when you wake up with a soft groan. The night’s events replay in your mind and you immediately sit up, wincing slightly when your sore body protests. You turn to your side, heart plummeting in your chest when you realise Jimin isn’t in his bed. You turn to the side, realising your clothes are neatly folded on the bed side table with your phone on the top. Your heart gripes at the sight. Did he want you to leave? You and Jimin had shared a bed before when you’d crashed after a long night with everyone. So why hadn’t he slept next to you after fucking you?

Did he want nothing to do with you anymore? Had you ruined your friendship? You had no idea. So instead, you quickly get out of bed, trying to ignore the ache in your muscles and between your legs as you quickly get dressed. You can feel tears pool in your eyes and you quickly rub them before slapping your cheeks, trying to get a hold of yourself. You grab your phone before you slowly begin sneaking out. When you’re leaving, you notice Jimin on the sofa, fast asleep and once again your heart breaks all over again. Had he really chosen the sofa over sharing a bed with you?

Fuck. You had to get out of here.

You tiptoe out of the Bangtan household, slowly shutting the door before quickly walking away. It’s almost 5am so you quickly call an Uber wanting nothing more than to be home and in bed. You embrace the chill of the summer night, the cool air distracting you from traitorous thoughts of Park Jimin.

You only wait a couple minutes before your Uber picks you up. You quickly slide into the car, arms wrapping around yourself as you will yourself not to cry. You’d had one night stands before so you have no idea why your heart feels like it’s breaking all over the place. Tears burn at your eyes and you choke out a sob, as you remember Jimin’s peaceful sleeping figure on the sofa. He’d obviously thought sleeping with you was a mistake, otherwise he’d have been in bed with you.

Suddenly, your sobs turn into choked cries as you begin coughing. You cough violently, your throat scratching as you feel something come up. The driver looks at you in question but you ignore him as you cough particularly hard. And then, it dislodges from your throat and falls into your hand.

But you wish it hadn’t.

You let out a small sniffle before breaking out into a full-blown sob, your sorrowful cries filling the car, your hand clutching desperately around the petal in your palm. The driver looks at you in alarm but you continue ignoring him.

You wish you had stayed oblivious.

Because then you wouldn’t know about your feelings for Park Jimin and you could brush it off as a one-night stand. But you can’t. Not now. All of a sudden, all the chest pains and coughing fits make sense. You think back to all the times your chest ached at the thought of Park Jimin, back to the first night on Christmas. You wish you had realised soon. But it’s too late now.

Because there in your hand, is a blood-stained white lily petal.

And now you know.

You know that the seeds of your unrequited love for Park Jimin have effloresced.

Wilt

def. become limp

It’s five months before you see Jimin again. After that night, you do your best to avoid him as best as you can. It’s not difficult as the boys are midst another comeback. You’re further aided by their world tour and hence, you are Jimin free for a few short blissful months. You try your best to forget him, but the constant ache in your chest lets you know that your feelings for him are undeniable. Each day the symptoms get worse and worse. As each day goes by, you’re coughing up more and more petals. A morbid side of you decides to clean the petals and dry them out, placing them in a jar. A handful of petals for each day you love him.

Today is the first time you’ll be seeing him in a while. The boys have finished their leg of the European part of the world tour and are due back in Seoul before starting the Asian part and you’re beyond nervous. But there’s no way you can avoid him tonight, because it’s Sooji’s birthday and you know for a fact that she’ll kill you before you even think of missing it. You’re beyond nervous, butterflies swimming in the pits of your belly and you feel like you may just throw up. Your phone rings and you pick up, taking a deep breath before answering.

“____! Are you ready? Sooyun, Suri and I are coming to pick you up” Hae asks and you groan slightly.

“Yeah, I’m ready” You whisper back, but it’s a lie and you know it is. Because you’re notready. You don’t think you’ll ever be ready to face Jimin after he so sneakily rejected you.

“Hey, you sound upset. What’s wrong?” Hae asks and you bite your lip, attempting to stifle the sob in your throat. You shake your head, trying to get a grip of your feelings.

“Nothing, I’m okay” You stutter back and Hae tuts disapprovingly and you know that she’s seen through the blatant lie despite being on the phone.

“You’re not. What’s going on? You’ve been avoiding all of us. You didn’t even come on tour with the boys, we were supposed to see Europe together, all five of us” Hae says quietly and you almost feel guilty. It hadbeen suspicious when you declined an all-expenses paid trip around America, Canada and Europe. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t stomach being around Jimin for months, surrounded by beautiful cities and pretend you felt nothing for him. So, you had graciously declined, making up an excuse about work.

“I’m sorry, I’ve just been really busy” You lie through your teeth. Because there was no way you’d be able to confess that you’d slept with Jimin and were in love with him. You especially couldn’t bring yourself to tell her or any of them that the love was unrequited and as a result you had developed the Hanahaki disease, an illness that was slowly consuming your lifeforce and killing you in the most painful, heart-breaking way. You couldn’t tell them that he had bloomed beautiful florets of love in the midst of your lungs before leaving them to decay. Because if Hae knew, then Sooyun and the girls would know and then Hoseok and Namjoon would also know and they’d probably force Jimin into doing something he regretted. But you couldn’t have that. You didn’t want him to love you out of pity. You just wanted his happiness. Even if that happiness wasn’t with you.

“Listen ____, I can’t force you to tell me what’s wrong. If you don’t wanna speak about it, that’s okay. But don’t shut us out” Hae pleads and once again your heart grips with guilt.

“I know I’m sorry. I’ll try and be better. Thanks for understanding Hae” You whisper back.

“Anytime. Now, we should be with you soon, so let’s just have some fun tonight okay. It’s not every day that Sooji turns 24 so let’s forget about everything else yeah?” Hae says and despite yourself, you chuckle.

“Sure, let’s do it” You respond before hanging up. You take in a deep breath and look at yourself in the mirror, your eyes steeling with resolve. You won’t let tonight break you. You’re going out and you’re going to enjoy yourself and Park Jimin be damned because there was no way you’d be ruining your best friend’s 24thbirthday. You quickly fix your make up and once you’re done, the girls are at your door, grinning and thrusting a bottle of wine in your hand. You let out your own grin before taking a swig, Hae rolling her eyes before pouting.

“I hate that I can’t drink because I’m on call and because I’m your damn designated driver” Hae pouts and the three of you laugh. The four of you quickly get into the car and before you know it, you’re standing on a rooftop bar, overlooking the beautiful Seoul skyline. It’s mid November and the air is chilly but the party is in full swing and with the amount of people bustling about, the body heat swirling around the atmosphere keeps you warm enough.

“____! You’re here! God it feels like I haven’t seen you in forever” Sooji squeals before running up to you, hugging you tightly. Her words are true because you haven’t seen her in months considering she was touring the world with the boys and once again you feel guilt for neglecting your best friends.

“Sorry, I promise to be better. Happy birthday!” You wish cheerily and Sooji grins brightly, Yoongi and Seokjin smiling on either side of her. You greet the both of them before Suri drags you away to grab some more drinks. For the first time in months, you let out a real life, letting the girls drag you around. You meet each of the boys, striking up a small conversation with each of them. Jimin is far from your mind and your thankful for such amazing friends.

You think you may actually have a fun night.

You’re in the middle of a conversation with Hae and Taehyung, speaking about how much Taehyung enjoyed Europe, especially the various art galleries and even going to his favourite artist’s art exhibit. You’re thoroughly enjoying yourself. Taehyung has always had the most beautiful mind and his love for art and culture is almost unparalleled. However, all thoughts are ruined when you hear Taehyung let out a small groan, eyes narrowing behind you as Hae herself tuts. You wonder what’s got them both so annoyed and turn around, your eyes widening when Jimin enters the rooftop bar.

But he’s not alone.

“Can you believe he brought her here?” Hae lets out a moan, glaring openly at the girl next to Jimin.

“I honestly didn’t think he would. I thought he knew better than that. If Sooyun-ah finds her, she’ll go mad” Taehyung responds but you can barely hear them through the cloudy haze of your mind. Jimin immediately spots you and the two of you lock eyes, his own widening slightly. Time slows down and it’s as if the both of you are the only ones present on the beautiful lit up bar, surrounded by Sooji’s favourite flowers. It’s kind of fitting.

However, the moment is broken up immediately when the girl starts clinging onto Jimin. His gaze snaps away from yours and towards the girl tucked into his side. He looks down at her and she looks up at him, her eyes sparkling as if he’s the only man in the world. You can almost hear the sound of your heart break when he beams that  beautiful pearly white smile down at her, a smile that you wished was reserved for you and only you. Your eyes widen in fear slightly when they both start walking over to you. Your eyes dart around, trying to find a way to escape the inevitable, awkward conversation but before you can escape, Jimin and his new girl are already by your side.

“Hey, ____, I haven’t seen you in a while” Jimin says softly and you nod tersely, unsure what to say. But really, what could you? You had fucked five months ago and now here he was with another girl on his arms. Were you the only one affected by this? Clearly, considering he had so easily moved on to someone else. Then again, can you really move on from someone you only had sex with once, and had no feelings for?

“Hi Jimin, it has. I heard the tour went well, you guys did great” You comment easily, silently cheering at how steady your voice is. From the corner of your eyes you can see Hae narrow her own eyes, suspicious of the behaviour between the two of you. But you do your best to ignore her.

“Jimin-ah, who is this?” The girl asks and you cringe at the nasally, high pitch voiced. She was trying way too hard to be cute and you feel bad when you almost snicker as Taehyung fakes a gagging noise behind the girl’s back, Jimin glaring at his best friend.

“Ri-El, this is ____. ____ this is Ri-El, my date” Jimin responds thickly and you nod curtly, extending your hand to shake hers despite how much you want to run away from the situation. The five of you begin a conversation. Well, you say conversation when really, it’s just Ri-El talking at you, spewing nonsense and you’re not really sure what she’s talking about considering she’s changed topics at least five times within the same sentence. You hate that you find her annoying because she seems nice enough. But you can’t help but want to hate her, especially with how she clings to Jimin.

“Oh! Is that Taemin? The Taemin? I have to go say hi!” Ri-El finally finishes before running off like a star struck fan. The minute she’s gone, Sooyun stomps up to you guys, followed by her two boyfriends.

“Park Jimin! I cannotbelieve you brought her here” Sooyun hisses and Jimin immediately cringes. She’s younger than him, in fact, she’s the youngest out of all of you, Jungkook beating her by a couple of months. But that doesn’t mean that Jimin isn’t terrifiedof her, especially with the amount of times both she and Jungkook have pranked him for no reason other than the fact that he’s an easy target.

“Sooyun-ah please, she really wanted to come. I couldn’t say no” Jimin pleads and suddenly you wonder why the hell everyone seems to hate Ri-El so much.

“Jimin, you slept with her once! Once while on tour. Why are you suddenly so attached to her? Especially after she almost leaked your whereabouts to some ssaesangs” Sooyun hissed but you’d stopped listening by that point. He had slept with her. He had fucked her like he had fucked you and suddenly you felt like throwing up.

“She’s really nice once you get to know her, please Sooyun-ah” Jimin begs and you finally have had enough. He’s known her barely half a year and he’s already defending her after sleeping with her once, yet after knowing you for yearsand sleeping with you, he wants nothing to do with you? It’s more than your heart can take. Sooyun continues ripping into Jimin and you use the opportunity to make a quick escape.

“Hey guys, I’m going to grab another drink” You excuse yourself, your voice slightly quivering. It’s quiet and only Hae and Sooji notice, both of them looking at you in alarm, brows furrowing with concern. You shake your head at them before turning and walking away briskly. It takes every part of you to prevent yourself from running.

Once you’re far enough away from them you run out of the bar and into the bathroom, shutting yourself into a stall before dropping to the floor, head in your hands as you begin to cry into your knees. Your body wracks with sobs and you bite your lip to prevent yourself from being audible. You cry out when you feel a shift in your lungs, the roots in your chest tightening around your lungs before squeezing. You gasp out a breath, trying desperately to draw enough oxygen, but it’s counterproductive, causing the roots to grip tighter.

You wondered if love was always supposed to hurt like this. You hate him for planting his seeds into the garden of your chest before leaving them; letting them overgrow into a beautiful mess of nothing but weeds and thorns that encase your heart, which holds all the love you have for him. You try your hardest to weed them out, but the more you think about him, the stronger your chest aches, as if thoughts of him are the water your garden needs to continue growing.

For the second time in your life, you feel the familiar sensation of something bulbous stuck at the back of your throat. This time you don’t panic. Instead, you accept fate as you begin coughing, eyes tearing up as you continue gagging. You feel the bud slowly inch its way up your throat, slowly scratching its way up your oesophagus. When it finally dislodges you cough it out into the palm of your hand before breaking into another fit of sobs.

A wilted rose bud.

If petals were the first stage, you knew buds were the second stage.

There was no hope.

Your unrequited love for Park Jimin would be the death of you.

Wither

def. become dry or shrivelled

The next few times you see Jimin are probably the hardest. You can no longer avoid him without being suspicious, especially since you promised Hae you’d stop avoiding everyone. Hence, you see him more often than not and each time is worse than the other. He’s still dating Ri-El and every time you watch him interact with her, you can feel the thorned roots entangle further, gripping your lungs until you’re left breathless, lungs burning for air. It gets harder to breathe almost every day and you wonder how much longer you can survive this way.

There is a cure. You know there is. But you’re not sure if you can go through with it. Hanahaki is so rare that you’re not sure about the consequences. Some say you lose memories of the person you once loved, others say you just lose the love you had for them. Some even say that if you lose the flowers, you can never love the person again. Of course, there is the cure where the recipient of the feelings acknowledges and reciprocates, but you don’t have much hope for that. He seems happy with her and you can’t bear to come between that happiness. Even if it means death.

You’ve contemplated undergoing the surgery. But every time you think about it, you can’t seem to follow through. Despite every bit of hurt he’s caused you, you lovePark Jimin and you love your memories of him. You didn’t want to forget him, you didn’t want to not be able to love him ever again either. So, you reach an impasse, one that does worse for you than good considering you grow weaker every day. You look across your living room, to the shelf packed with glass jars filled to the brim with lily petals and rose buds.

Your love for Jimin had caused to you spew out flower petals and buds almost every day, slowly increasing in frequency as time passes. You wonder if maybe one day he’ll spot the jars and see the beautiful garden you had choked out, brought from both the pain and love he had caused you. You begin coughing again, the onslaught triggered by your thoughts of Jimin. You’re more than used to it now, it’s been more than half a year and you barely register the pain, wincing only slightly when the thorned rose stems scratch against the lining of your throat.

The last week, you had developed into the penultimate stage. Instead of simply choking out petals and buds, you were now throwing up entire flower stems. Your chances of survival were getting slimmer day by day and you knew that the final stage, throwing up entire bouquets, would mean your end. You scoff at yourself slightly, wondering when you’d become the type of person to die for love. But you would. You’d die if it meant preserving the happy memories of your love for Jimin.

You finally managed to choke out the flower, pulling out the withered rose before placing it in a vase along with the dozen other dead roses and lilies. As soon as you place it in the vase, there’s a knock at your door. Your brows furrow in question, wondering who that could be considering you weren’t expecting anyone. You answer your door, eyes widening when Hoseok, Namjoon and Sooyun smile brightly at you from the doorway.

“____! Hey, haven’t seen you in forever” Sooyun says as the three of them enter your apartment.

“We literally saw each other a couple days ago” You deadpan, wondering why the hell they were here.

“Woah, what’s with all the dead flowers?” Hoseok asks you, your childhood friend pointing at the dying bouquet on your countertop.

“Ah, I bought flowers a couple of weeks ago but I haven’t managed to throw them out. I completely forgot” You lie casually; he immediately raises an eyebrow at you and you know he’s caught your lie. But really, what else do you except from him? You’ve known each other since you were children, the two of you knew each other like the backs of your palms. There was nothing you could keep from each other.

“Uh huh, and what about those?” Hoseok asks, gesturing to the jars of petals and buds littering your shelves. You immediately stiffen, unsure of how to respond.

“____, what’s going on? We’re worried” Sooyun says softly and your mouth goes dry knowing you’ve been caught. You’re unsure of what to say, looking to Namjoon for help but he simply shakes his head, sending you his own worried glance.

“N-Nothing’s wrong” You try, stammering out your response and Sooyun sighs.

“Listen, I know we said we wouldn’t press if you didn’t want to talk about it. But this is getting ridiculous. Something is wrong, I know it, Seok knows it. Hell, even Joon noticed and you know he notices nothing. So, what’s going on?” Sooyun finally bursts out, looking at you for answers.

“What Sooyun is trying to say is that, we’re worried. You’ve lost so much weight, you look pale and you have these god-awful bags as if you haven’t slept in a month. Also, your voice is constantlyraspy, as if you’ve got the worst sore throat in the world and it’s been going on for too long. We just want to make sure you’re okay” Hoseok follows after his girlfriend, eyes brimming with concern.

“Is- is this about Jimin?” Sooyun questions ever so gently and your head snaps to her, eyes wide and from your reaction, you know she can tell that’s the exact issue.

“What happened? Don’t lie to me. Hae noticed something weird between the two of you at Sooji’s birthday and then recently you’ve been so awkward and stiff with each other. You used to spend so much time together before the last comeback and tour” Sooyun presses and you’re left stuttering. So they hadnoticed something, but just never said anything.

“I-I-” You stutter out, unsure of what to say. You can feel the flowers well up at the base of your throat and wonder if an attack is imminent. You take in a sharp breath when the roots move, constricting your airflow further.

“____? Are you okay? You don’t look so good” Namjoon says softly, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. You let out a low whimper at the action and the soft touch is all it takes for the damn to burst. You begin sobbing, the weight of your emotions finally crashing as you sob your heart out. Namjoon jumps in alarm, Hoseok and Sooyun quickly rushing to you as the former pulls you in for a hug.

“I’m dying” You finally stutter out and everyone’s eyes widens at your confession.

“What? No. You’re not. Tell me you’re joking, please tell me you’re lying” Hoseok pleads, looking at you with tear filled eyes.

“You’re not dying. This is a prank, you’re pranking me to get back at Jeon and I because of all our pranks, right? This isn’t funny” Sooyun says, but her eyes are filled with fear and you know she’s two words from breaking apart.

“I am. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner” You sob out and Sooyun lets out a little sob before crying softly with you.

“What? How? Why?” She stuttered out and you let out a rueful smile.

“I’m in love with Park Jimin. But he doesn’t love me, so I developed the Hanahaki disease. I’ve been keeping it a secret from everyone” You confess and Sooyun goes stiff, eyes wide while Namjoon sucks in a deep breath.

“You mean… the disease with the flowers? Is that where all the flowers came from?” Hoseok asks and you nod simply.

“Can’t… won’t it help if you get over him?” Sooyun asks softly and you shake your head, chuckling mirthlessly.

“I’ve tried. Believe me I’ve tried but my love for him is so deep that he’s planted within the dark recesses of my chest, the roots encasing my lungs. He makes roses bloom in my lungs and lilies blossom in my chest and granted they are beautiful but I cannot fucking breathe” You respond. You can already feel the early effects of an attack, flower buds at the top of your chest, ready to spill out your oesophagus due to the thoughts of him plaguing your mind. Once again you feel the roots constrict around your chest and you take in a sharp breath, before you begin choking.

“____? ____!” Hoseok calls in alarm but you push him away, instead heaving over. You begin gagging and this time, it’s unlike the times before. The flowers don’t come up as easily as they had before and you’re dry heaving. Tears sting at your eyes and you feel your throat burn, completely raw.

“Namjoon! Call the ambulance, we have to get her to a hospital” Sooyun calls frantically but you ignore the commotion surrounding you. You vaguely feel Hoseok’s presence behind you, rubbing and patting your back but it does little to help. You cry at the burn of the pain, sobs wracking your body as you claw at your throat, wondering why they won’t come out. It’s getting harder and harder to breathe and you wonder if this is how it ends.

Then Hoseok pats your back particularly hard and you lurch forward, retching out whatever was blocking your airway. Your eyes widen when dozens of flowers spew out your throat, blood stained and covered in saliva. There are enough flowers to create an entire bouquet, reminiscent of the one Jimin had given you when he’d taken you to the ramen restaurant.

You close your eyes, tears falling down your cheeks as you realise that you’ve reached stage four, the final one.

Then it goes dark.

Abscission

def. the natural detachment of parts of a plant

The next time you wake, all you see is a moving white ceiling. You turn around and notice that you’re on a hospital gurney, being rolled somewhere you have no idea. Sooyun, Hoseok and Namjoon are running behind while the doctors and nurses call out various codes that you can’t comprehend. In fact, there’s not much you can comprehend. You hear words like ‘critical’ and ‘surgery’ and wonder what is happening. And then you remember.

You remember heaving out an entire bouquet worth of flowers before it went dark. Ah. So you were on your way to surgery. They were going to remove the flowers and save you. You want to protest, but you don’t have the energy to do so. Namjoon is passive. His jaw is grit and you can tell he’s trying to keep calm and rational, always playing the role of the leader. Hoseok and Sooyun however, aren’t as calm. They’re both sobbing as they follow you into what you assume is the ER. Maybe this is for the best you think. Maybe if they operate and remove the flowers, you can go back to your normal life. You can forget Park Jimin and the love you had for him.

Your resolve shakes however, when you spot Park Jimin running up to you. He’s caught you just in time. He’s crying freely and you wonder why. You open your mouth, willing your body to say something, anything. If this is the last time you remember him, if this is the last time you remember your feelings for him. You want him to know. You want to thank him for being a beautiful human being and a wonderful friend, even if you had wanted more in the end.

“Jimin” You rasp out and he lets out a little sob, nodding as he grabs your hand. The nurses tut slightly, but allow you to continue. They probably know he’s the one who’s caused your illness and they’re probably sympathetic but you don’t care. Right now, all that matters is you and Jimin and you’re feelings for him. Because just once, you want to confess just once and then you can happily move on.

“Jimin I love you. I’m sorry” You rasp out and using the last of your energy smile at him, before it starts going dark once again. Jimin lets out a small a small cry, clutching your hand desperately.

“No! No I’m sorry, I didn’t know! I love you. Please, I love you. Come back please, just let me love you” Jimin cries, weeping as he presses a kiss to your hand, but you don’t respond.

“Mr. Park, please let her go. We have to operate” The nurse chides and Jimin simply shakes his head, holding onto you tighter.

“No! She needs to know! Please. Please” Jimin begs before he feels strong hands wrap around him and he tries to fight it, but Namjoon simply holds him tighter, pulling him away.

“Jimin, let her go” Namjoon says softly and he does. He watches with despair as you disappear through the doors and wonder if it’s the last time he’ll be able to hold you like that again, wonders if you’ll even remember his name or your memories or if you’ll ever be able to love him again the way he loves you.

“Hyung, I love her” Jimin cries, turning into Namjoon’s arms before collapsing. He cries into Namjoon’s chest, shoulders shaking as he runs fingers through his hair, wondering where the two of you went wrong. If only he had known. If only he hadn’t run away from you and his feelings the night you had slept together. Maybe then you’d still be in his arms, beside him.

“I know Chim, I know” Namjoon says softly, holding the younger tightly as he tries to soothe Jimin’s cries. Sooyun drops to he knees, pushing Jimin’s hair out of his face before looking at him with sad eyes, a small smile on her face.

“She loved you too. Right until the end, she loved you and only you” Sooyun says and she means it out of comfort, but all it does is make Jimin cry harder.

And then he coughs out a lily petal.

A/N: The alternative ending is now up! It’s not compulsory to read, but if you wanted to!

sequel: bloom II

Masterlist

[cj-jacobs]

Okay, this isn’t the Christmas fic that I still haven’t finished (had a family tragedy right after the holiday, it’s a long story, but I will finish it as soon as I can.) But last year, I was asked by an anon to write a fic based on the Bechloe tags I wrote on this Valentine’s Day post. I wrote the fic last year and almost forgot about it until yesterday, then remembered I said I would post it *this* Valentine’s Day. It’s short, and is meant to fit in with PP1 canon. 

The gifs at the end are reposted with the permission of the incomparable fandom queen, the Artist Formerly Known as Snodes.

Aaaand I just realized as I’m posting it that I have no title for this, lol. If I think of one I’ll add it later. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Beca ducks her head into the doorway of the rehearsal room, halfway hoping it’ll be dark and empty and she can just go back to her room and pretend she forgot they were supposed to be doing Bellas “outreach” tonight. Even the word makes her cringe. But no, there’s Chloe, standing at the whiteboard, doodling hearts and rainbows. When she glances over and sees Beca, she erases them, a little guiltily.

“Hey,” Beca says, coming further into the room.

“Hey! Where have you been? Everyone else got started half an hour ago.”

“Sorry, I know, I know,” she says with a sheepish air. “I fell asleep.”

Chloe looks incredulous. “Before eight p.m.? On Valentine’s Day?”

“Yes,” Beca says testily. “Because my life is awesome. Thank you for reminding me.” She looks around the empty space. “Are you the only one here?”

“I’m supposed to catch up with Aubrey. But I wanted to wait for you.”

Beca gives her a strange look. They’ve been friends for a few months now and spend a ton of time together, but she feels like she isn’t any closer to figuring Chloe out. “You didn’t have to.”

“I know.”

As she approaches closer to the whiteboard, Chloe only now seems to notice her red hoodie. “Beca.” She sounds disappointed. “You were supposed to wear pink.”

“Yeah, I know that, and this is literally as close as my wardrobe gets to pink. So,” she shrugs. “Take it or leave it.”

Adjusting fast, Chloe assures her, “No, it’s fine. Red is good, too. You’ll clash with Amy, but luckily, this is the one day of the year when red and pink are allowed to mingle. Oh, except for, you know, on me.” She gestures at herself. “In which case it’s always allowed, because I’m the only ginger on the planet who looks hot in pink.”

“Congratulations.” Beca gives her a wry smile, but can’t exactly argue the point. Tonight she’s wearing a light pink sweater with darker pink hearts embroidered on the front of it, and the whole thing seems to be doused in glitter, but somehow, on Chloe, it looks good. “Speaking of Amy, where is she?” Beca asks. “Because I’m not doing this alone.”

“She already left, you’ll have to track her down.” Chloe picks up a clipboard from the top of the piano and consults it. “Let’s see, this time, you two are doing... Baker, Hammons, and Jackson Halls.”

“You gave me the dorm where I live? Chloe, that’s humiliating.”

“Sorry,” Chloe says with a slight grimace. “Luck of the draw.”

Closing her eyes for a second, Beca mutters, “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Well, you have to. It’s an official Bellas duty.” Chloe takes her phone from her pocket and holds it up in a threatening way. “Do I need to call Aubrey?”

“No, oh my God!” Beca stops her, alarmed by the thought that she might actually call her. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

Chloe looks smug as she puts the phone away.

“Damn,” Beca says under her breath, a little impressed. “That was so hardcore.”

From behind the piano, Chloe drags out a massive and beat-up cardboard box. Beca by now has enough experience as a Bella to hate the sight of it. It’s their props box.

“Okay, so, here’s your bow. And your quiver of arrows. I love the word quiver, don’t you?” Chloe asks confidentially, miming a sultry little shudder. “It brings back memories of all those erotic novels my grandma gave me.”

Beca makes a perplexed face but decides it’s best not to pursue the matter. She reluctantly takes the bow and quiver from Chloe, giving an exaggerated stagger at the weight, which Chloe ignores.

“Okay,” Beca sighs. “Is that it?”

“Do you know how to use it?” Chloe asks. “Want to take it for a test run?”

Glancing at the bow, Beca says, “You know what, I’ll figure it out.” The sooner she gets started, the sooner this whole thing will be over.

“Okay. Just some pointers, it helps if you close one eye when you’re aiming,” Chloe offers. “And, um, if you can, try not to shoot directly at anyone’s eyes or testicles. We don’t need another lawsuit.”

Beca pauses as she adjusts the quiver, but again decides not to press for details. “Cool.” She turns toward the exit, but Chloe stops her.

“Oh, wait! You almost forgot your wings. The most important part of the costume.”

Beca turns back, looking miserable. “Is that really necessary?” she whines. “This already sucks so hard.”

“Of course it’s necessary. It’s what makes you a Cupid,” Chloe insists as she hands over the wings. “Otherwise, you’re just a freak in a hoodie shooting arrows at people.”

Beca considers this. “Valid point,” she admits.

“I’m wearing some too, see?” Chloe says in a coaxing manner, lifting a second pair of wings from the box and slipping into them easily, like she’s done it a hundred times.

“Is that supposed to make this less embarrassing?” Beca’s still holding her wings out in front of her, stalling for time.

“Here, I’ll help you.” Chloe reaches out to take them again and steps up close, right into Beca’s personal space, which Beca is starting to suspect is her favorite place to be. “Hold your arms out.”

Chloe delicately tugs the wings up over her arms and onto her shoulders, then brushes Beca’s hair out of the way, making sure none is caught under the straps.

“Your hair looks amazing tonight, by the way,” Chloe tells her. “It’s so bouncy.”

Beca doesn’t seem to know how to respond to this. “Thanks.” She tries not to smile, smiles anyway, then physically tries to force the smile back into non-existence while Chloe watches, amused.

Next, Chloe adjusts the shoulder straps, hooking her fingers underneath the edges to maneuver the wings into place. As soon as her fingers graze the sides of Beca’s breasts, which is basically impossible to avoid doing, Beca feels a totally unexpected jolt of heat. It’s like Chloe’s hands are made of fire, though of course they can’t be any warmer than normal. But there’s no mistaking the glow radiating out from every spot her fingers touch, even through the fabric of a hoodie, a tank top, and a bra. Then the heat seems to be spreading from places she’s touched to places she hasn’t touched.

Beca draws in a shaky breath, then just stops breathing completely for a second, holding perfectly still and fighting the urge to close her eyes. Oh, shit. This should not feel the way it does. And trying to act like it doesn’t feel that way is taking a monumental effort. She prays Chloe doesn’t notice anything, but is positive she does. Of course she does. There’s a sensual-yet-playful twinkle in her eyes that looks like an enhanced version of her usual flirtatious manner. She knows exactly what she’s doing.

“There,” Chloe whispers. “Perfect.” Still only a few inches away from her face, she asks softly, “I’m not straight either, am I?”

Beca seems both baffled and alarmed by this question. “Dude, what?”

“My wings,” Chloe clarifies, trying not to laugh. “Are they crooked?”

“Oh.” Beca steps back and looks her over, trying to concentrate on anything other than the warm buzz of sensation still coiling through her. “Um…”

They’re not crooked. Not at all. The wings are perfectly straight. So there’s absolutely no reason for Beca to reach out to adjust them, to step right back into the body-heated, perfume-scented, too-close-to-breathe zone she’d just escaped from. Still, she finds herself doing precisely this, as if she’s being pulled by a magnet.

“Hang on,” she murmurs. “Let me just…” she trails off as she runs her fingers along the edges of the shoulder straps, starting high and then moving lower. She’s gratified to see that Chloe loses the upper hand as her composure vanishes almost immediately. Her body tenses up and seems to vibrate with responsiveness, her gaze becoming unfocused and her lashes fluttering as if she, too, has to struggle not to close her eyes. Beca works her fingers underneath the straps, needlessly tugging them around a little, letting her hands graze the sides of Chloe’s chest, even as she’s amazed at herself and wonders what the hell she’s doing. There’s a kind of power in it, she realizes. Not to mention, she can feel an echoing buzz in her own body in the exact places she touches Chloe’s, the heat fading a bit but definitely still there.

Eventually, she forces herself to drop her hands. “Okay, you’re good.”

“Thanks.” Chloe collects herself and smiles at her, the playfulness returning. It feels like a game, and now they’re both even.

But then the smile fades and Chloe bites her bottom lip, gazing at her with a sudden intensity that makes Beca think for a split second that she wants to kiss her, for real, and isn’t just doing that automatic flirting thing she always does. They’re still standing way too close to each other, but Beca doesn’t step back. Instead she finds herself staring at Chloe’s lips, which is probably not the signal she should be sending, and yet she can’t seem to look away. She can’t tell if she’s imagining it, or if Chloe really does seem to be leaning in now, just the barest fraction of a millimeter every second. Or wait, is she the one leaning in? Which one of them is moving? She tears her gaze away from Chloe’s lips and meets her eyes, which doesn’t help at all, because it’s like they’re stuck in some kind of force field. She’s never experienced anything like it.

Into the silence, Chloe’s phone suddenly emits an insistent chirp, causing them both to jump a little.

Beca remembers to breathe again as Chloe breaks their eye contact to search for her phone. Half relieved and half disappointed, she steps back to a safe, sane distance, and begins re-adjusting her hair, just to have something to do with her hands.

“It’s Aubrey.” Chloe still sounds a bit breathless, too. Wincing as she looks at the text, she adds, “Crap, she’s annoyed. I should get out there.”

Beca can read the text too, even upside down, possibly because it’s in all caps.

WHERE ARE YOU?!? ARE YOU MAKING OUT WITH SOMEONE???

Pressing her lips together awkwardly, Beca looks away from the phone. Her cheeks heat up at the implication, and at the fact that it’s possibly not that far off the mark. Especially if they hadn’t been interrupted.

Chloe seems flustered too as she rapidly texts back. I’m with Beca. Be right there!

Now they deliberately avoid looking at each other, and for a few seconds they busy themselves with gathering their things. Beca’s glad for the distraction. She hefts the bow and the quiver of arrows again, preparing to leave. “So I’m guessing she’s gonna be pissed at me tomorrow, right?”

Giving her a reassuring pat on the arm as they head toward the door, Chloe says, “Nah, she’ll be fine, don’t worry. Our route includes the frat houses, so I’ll make sure she drinks a lot.”

They’re both using their normal, everyday voices, as if by some unspoken agreement to pretend that whatever just happened didn’t actually happen. And really, Beca reasons to herself, it probably didn’t, she probably just imagined it. She’s lonely, and horny, and it’s Valentine’s Day. It was all in her head.

Chloe turns out the lights, then there’s a quick moment of awkwardness when they both try to pass through the door at the same time, forgetting about the wings, and they get hung up and briefly stuck. Both laughing, Chloe gives Beca enough of a shove to pop her free, then follows after her.

After she locks up, she turns to Beca and looks her up and down in a last minute once-over of approval. “I know you don’t want to hear this, Bec, but you look adorable.”

Chloe’s right, she doesn’t want to hear that. Instead of responding, she tells her, “And you look like you could wear that to class, and no one would even notice.”

She’s teasing, but Chloe does look ridiculously natural in the Cupid wings. They suit her. In fact, standing directly under the glow of the streetlight, with the glitter in her sweater sparkling and her bright blue eyes doing their best to compete, she looks more like an angel than a Cupid. Like an angel that’s fallen straight from heaven. Beca almost voices this thought, and is horrified at herself. Jesus Christ, what if she’d actually said that out loud?

Chloe misinterprets the source of her consternation, thinking she’s feeling mortified over the outfit, and tries to give her a pep talk before they part. “I get that this all seems really pointless, and cheesy, but just remember, it’s for the Bellas. We wouldn’t do it if it didn’t make a difference. So maybe, I don’t know,” she suggests gently, “try to have fun?”

“I can’t make any promises.” But Beca finds herself smiling. No matter how much she complains, she knows it won’t be that bad. Especially with Amy as her partner in crime.

As if reading her mind, Chloe grins too. “I mean, it’s better than being alone in your room all night, right?” she asks with a wink, turning to head off in the direction of fraternity row. “See you tomorrow.”

Too late, Beca suddenly recalls that Chloe was just dumped by her most recent boyfriend, only, what, a week ago? She feels like a dick for not remembering sooner. Tonight must be especially shitty for her.

She turns to walk away, hesitates, then turns back. Before she can stop herself, she calls out. “Hey.”

Chloe turns back to face her, curious and waiting.

Already rolling her eyes at herself before she even gets the words out, Beca manages to struggle through them anyway. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

It takes a few seconds for her to believe her own ears, and then Chloe seems surprised and touched, her smile mixed up with something achingly vulnerable. It’s almost sad, in a way, how little it takes to make her light up with joy. “Thanks,” she beams at Beca. “You too.”

As Chloe turns and continues on her way, Beca watches her for a second and realizes that her wings are now crooked, due to her own totally unnecessary adjustment of them, probably. For some reason, Beca doesn’t tell her. They look cute that way.

Finally, she turns around and heads off in the opposite direction, placing the back of one hand against her hot cheek and hoping that by the time she finds Amy, her face isn’t the same color as her hoodie. That girl can sniff out unresolved sexual tension like a beagle on the trail of a rabbit.

Already on the sidewalk up ahead of her, a group of guys is mocking her costume, trying to take a picture. As Beca passes by, she indicates the arrows. “These are poison-tipped, by the way.”

They laugh a little, but then they don’t seem to know whether she’s serious or not. She smirks to herself as they warily keep their distance.

Maybe this will be fun, after all.

Original post here. 

[justmeinfact]

Maxel fic

Well, well, now they’re kissing!!

Here is the 14th chapter of my fic “Home is where I am”.

Link here.

Please tell me what you think of this!!

_________________________________________

Scrunching his face feeling a little uneasy, almost hunching over Maxence’s small birch kitchen table and rubbing his right wrist with his own left hand, Axel looks up to meet his eyes.

Maxence opened the door in striped blue pyjama pants, a soft t-shirt and his hair a mess, the shootings are starting tomorrow and he knows he should get some sleep, but he simply must do this first.

“I don’t feel like me anymore... I’ve been so frustrated” he says slowly don’t really knowing how to continue.

Maxence is watching him from across the table, eyes bright, expression probably consciously obliterated and head almost nodding a little as if he wants to tell him it’s okay.

He inhales a bit shaky, takes another sip of his hot chamomile tea, thinks it’s no going back now and goes on:

“I need to get close to you...I want to get close to you, but it just scares me so much. I don’t even know what I’m afraid of, I just know I feel a lot...for what we are doing, for the script, for Eliott, for you.”

He says the last part rapid, without a pause.

“It’s like I have an itch when I’m close to you.”

“Oh!” Maxence says, eyes wide. “Well, I do sting like a big-ass bee” he spits out quickly, jaw angled to his chest, eyes glittering and mouth turned into a quirk.

He knows he is being funny.

“Shut up!” Axel exhales a chuckle, shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

The cramped feeling in his chest dissolves and his shoulders comes down from just below his ears. He needed that laugh.

*

They’re sitting in silence in the white kitchen, carefully watching each other over the table.

“But what about you, Maxence, are you afraid of nothing?”

“No, but I am afraid of everything!” Maxence says, the sound almost pressed out of his lungs like he's been waiting for the question.

“Why do you think I’m running around like a fucking ghost at the set? My anxiety is killing me. My smoking is through the roof!”

His voice is racing now, words tumbling out of his mouth.

“I am afraid to not be taken seriously because I’ve been a model. It’s not a good thing you know, people thinking you’re a pretty face but dumb as fuck.”

Axel isn’t laughing.

“I am afraid to not be good enough. To not be good enough as an actor, next to you, because you are amazing...amazing, Axel!” His eyes piercing big and chining towards Axel. “You’re so great and I…”

“...Maxe, you’re wonderful!”

It just comes out of Axel, convinced and full of honesty.

“Oh?”

“Oh.”

They gawk at each other for a couple of seconds. Axel can’t help but glancing at Maxence’s pink lips and that distinct cupid's bow.

He blinks, brushes one hand through his hair and leans back in his chair where he is sitting in the middle of the night.

“I have been so fucking focused on myself. I’m so sorry, Maxe” Axel says voice full of regret.

Maxence smiles softly.

“Well, I’m really glad you scootered over here tonight.”

“And just so you know...I want to get close to you too.”

*

Axel watches Maxence pouring the last drop of his tea in his mouth, Adam's apple moving when he swallows.

He thinks it’s probably time to go home, and gets up from his chair even though he’s feeling like he could talk until the sun rises.

“Speaking of which -” Maxence says also standing now, glancing towards Axel, hand on top of the backrest of the wooden chair. ”Would you like to try it?”

“Try what?” Axel asks, feeling confused. What?

“Kissing”.

Axel abruptly freezes in his movement, one dark blue sock hovering above the floor. He blinks. Once. Twice. With eyebrows lifted high in his forehead and eyes as big as pancakes he looks up at Maxence.

“What? Now?” he breaths in disbelief, eyes actually even wider than just a second ago, they will probably shortly fall out of their sockets.

“We...well, I just thought, well, for the shooting in the morning...kissing scenes -” Maxence is stuttering, cheeks bright read, looking like he realizes he has crossed some great boundary.

“Forget it” he replies, deflecting.

“Yes” Axel says.

“Yes?”

“Yes, let’s do this.”

*

“Can I touch you?”

They are standing close opposite to each other in the living room. There’s only one light lit, in the corner by the sofa. The full moon shines into the big window leaving shadows on the floor.

The angle is new for Axel who must chip his chin up to see Maxence’s face.

He can feel himself trembling.

“Please” Axel says, expression serious, eyes confirming it is okay. It’s no laughing through this.

The warmth of Maxence’s hands when he gently brings them on top of his shoulders is piercing through his t-shirt.

Maxence’s eyes are burning into his own and so soft, so caring, so bright.

The first kiss is almost chaste. A sweet warm peck on Axel’s mouth and then another one next to it.

Maxence opens his closed eyes and pulls back just an inch to look into Axel’s as if to check that it’s okay to continue.

Axel’s nod is barely noticable but he closes the distance between their bodies, reaches up, attaches his arms around Maxence’s broad waist and leans in.

Behind his closed eyelids Axel can feel how the world goes missing and the time stops. Or maybe he just wants it to.

All he can sense is Maxence’s hard body pressing at his, the sweet wet mouth against his own, gentle tongue licking at his lips to be let in. And Axel lets him. He tilts his head slightly, his mouth responds out of his control.

It’s like they’re tasting each other, exploring each others mouths pulling back and forth, finding new angels and places to lick, tongues twirling craving more, going deeper and deeper.

He can hear a soft moan escaping Maxence’s lips.

Axel must remind himself to breath as his chest feels crowded and warm, his heart is pounding and his entire body is tingling.

Maxence’s big rough hands are on Axel’s chin now, strong fingertips buried in his scalp cursing almost tugging at his hair, tenderly caressing the upper part of sensitive skin in his neck while Axel’s searching hands roams the soft t-shirt on Maxence's back.

Closer, Axel thinks. Closer, as he shifts the weight of his feet, puts his thigh between Maxence’s and slips his hand down to the lower part of the t-shirt to pull under and feel the soft warm skin.

Suddenly Axel realizes that they should stop.

So he does.

He jerks back, letting go of Maxence flicking his hazy eyes open.

Looking up at Maxence who slowly pulls back and opens his eyes he can see that his cheeks are pink and his eyes dark.

They are both smiling.

*

“You can sleep in my bed if you like. I don’t mind if you don’t”.

The shadows in the living room has turned into stripes of sunlight. It’s getting lighter by the minute and they will need to get up in just a few hours.

“I don’t mind” Axel says and starts unbuckling his belt. I just had your tongue in my mouth.

Laying down in bed under Maxence’s cool sheets Axel can feel the burn of Maxence’s stubble on his face and the imprint of his mouth over his.

Suddenly he feels dazed by sleepiness.

“This was new” he says, almost in a whisper.

“Strangely cool” Maxence adds.

And they fall asleep, side by side, listening to each other breathing.

[dazombi3fari3]

Hey doll hey!! How’s your day/night going? Great I hope. It’s raining here so naturally I am in a heap of pain. I got up at a pretty decent time (around 8 AM) but now it’s 4:17 PM and I feel exhausted… I really hate Fibromyalgia.

I will be doing product reviews in my Final Thoughts today.

Today I am wearing Bath and Body Works Rose Champagne (notes are Clementine, Bergamot, Apple Blossom, Pink Pepper, and Blonde Woods).

Now let’s jump into this Face of the Day ….

Base:                                                                                                                                                         I primed my face using Hourglass Veil Mineral Primer ($54 at Sephora) and just a tad bit of Tarte Clean Slate Timeless Smoothing Primer ($39 at Ulta) around the pores of my cheek area. I used the Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Flawless Filter ($44 on the Beautylish website) in the shade #3 Light/Medium to give my skin that lit from within glow. For foundation today I am using DermaBlend Flawless Creator Liquid Foundation Drops ($40 at Ulta) in the shade 30 N (light skin with neutral undertones).  I first tried this with the MAC Strobe Cream ($35 at Ulta) in the shade Goldlite (golden pearls) mixed in (3 drops of the foundation and 3 squirts of the strobe cream) and that just diluted the pigment in the foundation so I added another light layer of just the foundation over top of that. I took the Hollywood Flawless Filter up under my under eyes so I chose not to use a color corrector today instead I just used 2 dots of the DermaBlend Cover Care Full Coverage Concealer ($28 at Ulta) in the shade 15N Fair/Light. I contoured using Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Contour Wand ($38 on the Beautylish website) in the shade 2 Medium/Dark… I used it around the perimeter of my forehead, hollows of the cheeks, and the bridge of my nose. I then highlighted the bridge of my nose, cupid’s bow, tops of the cheeks, center of the chin, and high points above my brows using the Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Beauty Light Wand ($39 on the Beautylish website). I then set my full face using Believe Beauty Matte Blur Loose Powder ($5 only at Dollar General) in the shade Translucent. I am using Flower Beauty Light Illusion Perfecting Powder ($13.99 at Ulta) in the shade L4-M1 Beige as my setting powder.I then warmed up the perimeter of my face using Tarte Limited Edition Park Ave Princess Waterproof Face & Body Bronzer ($34 at Ulta).

Eyes:                                                                                                                                                         I primed my lids using P.Louise Base ($10 pound sterling/ $12.08 USD on their website… can also be found on the Morphie website for $15) in the shade Rumour 0.5. For today’s eye look I used the ColourPop Bare Necessities Palette ($34 on their website). I started with the shade Tabloid (deep caramel matte) from lash to brow bone. I then put a light layer of NYX Glitter Primer ($6.50 at Ulta) all over my mobile lids and then patted the shade Fuzzy (true red copper metallic) over the top of the primer. I then went into the shade Hot Gossip (toasted nude matte) and buffed that at the top of my eye lids in the transition area to lighten and buff out the shade Tabloid. I then deepened the outer 1/3 of the mobile lid and the outer v of the crease using the shade Taboo (deep brown matte). I then went into more of the shade Tabloid and buffed away any harsh edges of Taboo. I lined my upper and lower waterlines using Charlotte Tilbury The Classic Eye Powder Pencil ($22 at Sephora) in the shade Audrey (classic brown). I set my brows using Believe Beauty Eyebrow Styling Gel ($4 at Dollar General) in clear and then filled in my brows using Benefit Precisely My Brow Pencil ($24 at Ulta and Sephora) in the shade 4.5 and then I carved out my brow line using the BH Studio Pro Brow Highlighter ($5 on their website) on the matte side and set the brow line using the shade Full Expose (creamy vanilla matte). I coated my upper and lower lashes with 1 coat of Milani Dangerous Lengths Mascara ($9.99 at Ulta) and popped on a pair of Kiss Natural Effect Lashes ($11.99 at Ulta for a pack of 5) in the style Flirty. I highlighted my inner corners using the shade Idol Hour (warm ivory with a pale peach sheen metallic).

Cheeks and Lips:                                                                                                                            Since I did the cream highlighter and was really loving the effect of it I chose not to use powder highlighter today. For blush today I chose ELF Primer Infused Blush ($6 on their website) in the shade Always Punchy (a pink coral matte). I lined my lips using NYX Suede Matte Lip Liner ($4 at Ulta) in the shade Wipped Caviar (a reddish pink nude). I then topped my lips off with Il Makiage INFINITY LONG-WEAR MATTE LIP CREAM ($22 on their website) in the shade Gala (a dusty pink coral matte).

Final Thoughts:                                                                                                                                      I forgot to mention yesterday that I have hit pan on a few of my makeup products this month!! It’s both very exciting and very sad to hit pan on loved makeup products. I hit pan on  #1. Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Finish Setting Powder ($45 at Sephora) #2. The color Soothe Matte in the Tati Beauty Textured Neutrals Vol. 1 Palette ($48 on her website) #3. Benefit Mini Hoola Bronzer ($17 at Ulta and Sephora) and #4 Believe Beauty Brighten Up Color Correcting Concealer ($4 only at Dollar General).

I’m hurting so bad today. It’s supposed to rain until Sunday so tomorrow I may just be doing another “no makeup” makeup look… just so that I can look put together without taking too much time sitting up… the longer I’m sitting straight the more pain I’m in so minimizing that would be best.

Now… Let’s get into the review of the new products I used today….

DermaBlend Flawless Creator Liquid Foundation Drops: Graded A++ : The formula is beautiful and the shade is perfect. The reason that I didn’t grade this an A+++ is that it is a bit temperamental when paired with a glow drop formula. I noticed that when I added this to my MAC Strobe Cream it kind of went streaky in some areas and cakey in other areas. However, when I used it alone over top of what I already had on it went on smoothly and was actually very  pretty. I am going to try this one again but instead of mixing it with a glow drop I will just mix it in with my primer. It’s too early to tell if I would repurchase it but so far I like it. 

MAC Strobe Cream: Graded B+:  This glow cream is pretty, it just doesn’t pack the punch that something like the Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Flawless Filter or BECCA Backlight Priming Filter does. I noticed straight away that this is not the type of glow product that can be mixed into a foundation… it’s more of a product to use under foundation. I’ll have to play around with it more to see just how best to use it … and I do not see me purchasing a full size or even another mini.

DermaBlend Cover Care Full Coverage Concealer: C-: This concealer is so thick. Even with 2 small dots it still was thick and settled into my fine lines, even after I powdered it. This concealer looked pretty before I set it with powder… very hydrated looking… but after I lightly (and I mean lightly) powdered the under eye area it just looked horrible. It was creepy, cakey, and dusty dry. It also still settled into the fine lines and I had to buff it back out and add more powder which just exacerbated the situation. The reason I didn’t grade it lower is throughout the day this concealer actually looked better. (more hydrated and less creppy). I’ll try and use this one a few more times but I really feel that I may be returning this one if I can’t get it to work.

Tarte Limited Edition Park Ave Princess Waterproof Face & Body Bronzer: Grade A- : This is a pretty bronzer. It pulls just a tiny bit orange on me so I have to be careful not to go over board. It has a pretty sheen to it that looks like a natural glow to the skin and less like I’m wearing a shiny bronzer. I’ll have to try this one out on a “no makeup” makeup day and see how it does on it’s own with no contour underneath it. I will definitely be reaching for this one again. It’s such a big pan that I don’t see me needing to repurchase it anytime soon.

NYX Glitter Primer: Grade A+++: This primer is the real deal!! I mean wow!! I use to use the Too Face Glitter Glue and that didn’t work as good as this one does. I used the thinnest of layers and it still packed a punch. Normally ColourPop metallics are pigmented when you apply it with a finger on just a bare lid but when applied over top of the primer it was as if I wet the shadow before laying it down and I only needed 1 layer instead of a few layers to reach ultimate opacity. I also noticed that ,without this primer, if I touch my lid the metallic shade transfers but, with the primer, when I touched my lid today there was no transfer of the metallic shade. It held fast and has not faded. I am super impressed and can already tell I will be repurchasing this product again in the future. 

Il Makiage INFINITY LONG-WEAR MATTE LIP CREAM: Grade A+++: This is such a beautiful product! It’s comfortable, it’s lightweight, and it doesn’t get crusty. It feels like a satin on the lips. I also noticed that with most liquid matte products that it tends to pill up around the center of the lid area on me… this one hasn’t and I have not had to reapply it in the past 4 hours and I have eaten greasy food and had a coffee and a pop and still my lipstick is in place. This one is only a mini, but I have already added this to my shopping list for next month’s beauty buys. I want a few shades because this is such an amazing formula. 

Well that’s all for now dolls. I hope you have a great rest of your day/night and that you are in the best of health and spirits. Remember …. Save a spoon for a bit of lipstick.

XOXO

Copper Smokey Eye Face of the Day and Mini Product Review Hey doll hey!! How's your day/night going? Great I hope. It's raining here so naturally I am in a heap of pain.

[dazombi3fari3]

Hey doll hey!!! Hope you are having a great day/night. I actually woke up early today!!! I feel pretty OK today. My body is stiff today but my pain level is around a 5. I received a bunch of new makeup in the mail today so I got to play with some new stuff. I was feeling like a smokey eye today, I’m all Valentine’s Day Look fatigued, so I decided to just go glam. Hope you enjoy it… and Hope that you are in good spirits….Let’s jump into the Face of the Day ….

Base: I double primed my face today…. I used Dr Brandt Pores No More Pore Refiner Primer ($45 at Ulta and Sephora) and then layered that with AOA Studio Wonder Skin Illuminating Primer ($1 on the Shop Miss A website). I color corrected using Pixi by Petra Correction Concentrate ($12 on their website and at Target) in the shade Brightening Peach. For foundation today I am using a repurchase new foundation to me Too Faced Born This Way Undetectable Medium to Full Coverage Foundation ($39 at Ulta and Sephora) in the shade Warm Nude. I concealed my under eyes using a brand new product to me Too Faced Multi-Use Sculpting Concealer ($29 at Ulta and Sephora) in the shade Vanilla. I set my face using Pixi by Petra Colour Correcting Powder Foundation ($20 on their website and at Target) in the shade No.2 Nude. I warmed up the face using BH Cosmetics Brilliance Bronzer ($10 on their website and at Ulta) in the shade Bronze Babe. I set my under eyes and baked the jaw line, center of the forehead, and bridge of the nose using RCMA No Color Powder ($15 at the Beautylish website).

Eyes: I primed the lids using NARS Soft Matte Complete Concealer ($30 at Sephora) in the shade Medium 1 Custard and set that using Laura Merceir Loose Setting Powder ($39 at Ulta and Sephora) in the shade Translucent. For today’s bronzey smoke eye look I used the Private Society Cosmetics Girl Boss Palette ($35 on their website). For my transition shade I used the color CEO (an orange based tan matte). For my crease shade I mixed the shades Brunch (a mid-toned terra cotta matte) and Money Maker (a mid-toned muddy brown matte). On my mobile lid I used the shade Iconic (a muddy bronze metallic) on my inner 2/3. I deepened my outer v and the outer 1/3 of the mobile lid using the shade Friyay (a deep true brown matte) and then went in with the shade Instafamous (a copper metallic) on the middle 1/3 of the mobile lid to help blend out the edges of the inner and outer 1/3. On the lower lash line I created a drop shadow using first the shade CEO then the same combo of Money Maker and Brunch. I then deepened the lower lash line using more of Friyay and then buffed the whole lower lash line using more of the shade Brunch. I highlighted the inner corners first using Socialite (a pale champagne satin) and then I layered Dazzle (a pale champagne with silver glitter) from the Too Faced Turn Up The Light Complexion-Enhancing Highlighting Palette ($42 at Ulta and Sephora) in the Light color way. I lined my lower waterlines using ColourPop BFF Creme Gel Liner ($6 on their website) in the shade Get Paid (rose gold metallic). I tight lined the upper waterlines using NYX Slim Eye Pencil ($4.50 on their website and their store and at Ulta) in the shade Black. I set my brows using Pixi by Petra Brow Tamer ($10 at Target) in clear and then filled in my brows using ELF Ultra Precise Brow Pencil ($5 on their website) in the shade Deep Brown. I carved out my brows using BH Studio Pro Brow Highlighter ($5 on their website) on the shimmer side and set that with the shade First Class (a true vanilla matte). I primed my lower lashes with Loreal Voluminous Primer ($6.79 at Target) and then put on a pair of lashes that I can’t find the name off anywhere. I then created a baby winged liner on the upper lash line and used Pixi by Petra Lash Booster Mascara ($15 on their website and at Target) in the shade Blackest Black on the lower lashes and to meld my upper lashes in with the falsies.

Cheeks and Lips: For blush today I chose Private Society 8 Blush Palette ($42 on their website) in the color way Secret Admirer and using the shade Sweet Romance (a deep warm toned peach). I highlighted the tops of my cheeks, Cupid’s Bow, bridge of the nose, and center of the forehead using Benefit Powder Highlighter ($30 at Ulta) in the shade Cookie (a white gold pearl). I then used the Too Faced Turn Up The Light Complexion-Enhancing Highlighting Palette ($42 at Ulta and Sephora) in the Light color way using the Soft Focus powder as all over finishing powder. I lined my lips using ColourPop Lippie Pencil (regularly $7 on sale for $4.90 on their website) in the shade 951 (a warm nude with a hint of burgundy) and filled in the lips using ColourPop Lippie Stix (regularly $7 on sale for $4.90 on their website) in the shade Daydream (a plummy brown matte).

Final Thoughts:

Too Faced Born This Way Undetectable Medium to Full Coverage Foundation: A+++!!!!      I had tried this foundation when it first came out and loved it. I used it up but never repurchased it. Whilst I was on the Ulta website purchasing other products I decided to repurchase it too. I am so glad I did. This foundation is BEAUTIFUL!!! I love how glowy it is and how perfect it looks on the face. I did forget that a little goes a long way and ended up using way too much today, but even so the finish didn’t look cakey at all. I am so in love with this foundation and am super excited to have it back in my collection.

Too Faced Multi-Use Sculpting Concealer: B-                                                                                This is a super thick concealer. It did great at highlighting the high points of my face but, because I hadn’t used this one before, I used too much for the under eye and it seemed to just sink deep into my fine lines. I chose to give this a letter grade of B- because it did crease and seemed to lift up off the under eye as I tried to blend it in. I don’t know, I think I just need more time to work with this one to see if I can get it to work better. Now, the reason for it seeping into my fine lines may be because I let it sit too long before blending it in, this may be the type of concealer that you have to work is small sections to get it to work out. So I will try it again tomorrow and see if I get a better outcome, if not then I will just use this one to highlight the high points of my face.

Too Faced Turn Up The Light Complexion-Enhancing Highlighting Palette: A-                        This is a trio complexion palette. It comes with a soft focus powder in the middle, a softer focus highlighter, and a chunky glittery highlighter. I think the soft focus finishing powder is beautiful and the softer focus highlighter is pretty, but that 3rd shade is just to inundated with glitter to work for highlighter. For this reason I chose to give this a A- grade. I would have much rather liked to have seen either a bronzer or a blush in this palette over that glittery hell Too Faced calls Dazzle. I can’t use this as a highlighter at all, but I can use it as an inner corner highlight for my eyes.

Benefit Powder Highlighter in the Shade Cookie: A+++!!!!                                                      OM GOSH!!! This highlighter is so stinking beautiful!!! It’s so reflective that it almost looks like wet skin! I wasn’t going to get it because I already have a Benefit highlighter, and well, I have a stock pile of highlighter… But I purchased it as a last minute impulse buy and am so glad I did. It is highly reflective without having any glitter what so ever. If your are light skinned to tan skin and are in the market for a knock your socks off product…. this highlighter is the one for you.

ColourPop Lippie Pencil in the Shade 951: A++                                                                                I purchased this lippie pencil as part of the Big Box of Lippie Pencils ($79 on sale for $68 on their website). This is such a pretty shade, and I normally don’t do deeper nude lip pencils. This one has a slight burgundy shift to it that would make it perfect for contouring the lips. It’s creamy and doesn’t feather into the fine lines of the lips.

ColourPop Lippie Stix in the Shade Daydream: A+++                                                                    Again, I purchased this lippie stix as part of the Big Box of Lippie Stix ($115 on sale for $99 on their website). I never use deep vampy nude shades ever, but it was in my box set and I thought I might as well try it out. I am so glad I did. This shade is beautiful!! It’s creamy and doesn’t transfer outside the lip line or get on the teeth. It’s a matte formula, but it’s a comfortable matte formula that doesn’t pill up on the inner rim of the lip. It’s long wearing and fades down nicely.

Well that’s all for now dolls. Stay tuned soon for a new makeup haul and review. I hope you have a great rest of your day/night and that you are having a low pain/high energy day/night. Until tomorrow, remember save a spoon for a bit of lipstick.

XOXO

Smokey Bronze Eye Face of the Day Hey doll hey!!! Hope you are having a great day/night. I actually woke up early today!!! I feel pretty OK today.

[dazombi3fari3]

Good morning dolls. Hope your having a good day. Today my spoons are low and my pain level is low too (thank goodness for that). I woke up really stiff today. My brows didn’t cooperate with me today, I had a world of trouble with the brow products I used today… it’s OK though some days your brows are sisters…. some days they are mortal enemies. Well…. lets jump into the face of the day ….

Base: I primed my pores and between my brows with Tarte Clean Slate Timeless Smoothing Primer ($39 at Ulta and Sephora). I primed the rest of the face using It Cosmetics Bye Bye Pores Primer ($38 on their website). I color corrected using Tarte Cc Undereye Corrector ($25 at Ulta) in the color Light-Medium. As foundation today I used ColourPop No Filter Foundation ($12 on their website) in the color Medium 100. I chose the ELF HD Lifting Concealer ($4 on their website) in the color Light. I set my under eyes using Laura Mercier Loose Setting Powder ($39 at Sephora) in Translucent and then set the rest of my face using Loreal Infallible Pro-Matte 16-Hour Powder ($7.29 at Target) in the color 200 Natural Beige.

Eyes: I primed my eyes using MAC Paint Pot ($22 at Ulta and MAC) in Soft Ochre. I set the base with Laura Mercier Translucent Loose Setting Powder ($39 at Sephora). I used 2 BH Cosmetics eyeshadow palettes today… The Ultimate Matte 42 Color Shadow Palette ($28 on their website) and Love in London 16 Color Shadow Palette ($16 on their website). I first started out by giving my lids an all over wash of color with the 1st shade of the 3rd row (a cream matte). My 1st transition color is the 2nd shade on the 3rd row (a light peach matte). I combined the 4th shade of the 4th row (a light tan matte) and the 5th shade of the 4th row (a beige toned pink matte) for my 2nd transition shade. on my outer v and outer 1/3 of the mobile lid I chose the 6th shade of the 4th row (a muted mid-toned mauve matte) I deepened the outer v using a combination of that same 6th shade of the 4th row and 6th shade of the 5th row (a grey based mid-toned brown matte). For my mobile lid I switched to the Love in London palette and selected the color Biscuit (a plum based brown with gold reflect shimmer) to put down on the full mobile lid then on the inner 1/3 of the lid I chose Lolly (a rose pink with a slight silver reflect shimmer). I then took Big Ben (a muted peachy coral matte) and buffed out the edges of the transition and crease shades. I went back into the Ultimate Matte Palette and took a combination of the 2nd shade on the 4th row again with the 6th shade of the 4th row again and used it on my lower lash line. I used the 1st shade of the top row of the NYX Born to Glow Palette ($25on their website and at Ulta) as my inner corner highlight. For my brows I again used the ELF Lock on Liner and Brow Cream ($4 on their website) in the color Medium Brown and ColourPop Brow Boss Gel ($6.50 on their website) in the color Dark Brown. I carved out my brow line with the BH Studio Pro Brow Highlighter ($5 on their website) on the matte side and then set the brow line with the 1st shade of the 1st row (a creamy white matte) of the Ultimate Mattes Palette. I used BH Cosmetics Power Pencil ($8 on their website) in the color Beige on my waterlines. Today I primed my lashes using the Loreal Voluminous Primer ($6.7 at Target) and for mascara I chose NYX On the Rise  Volume Liftscara ($11 at Ulta) in Black.

Cheeks and Lips: Today I chose ColourPop Super Shock Cheek ($8 on their website) in the color Birthday Suit (a pinky coral satin). I warmed up the face using NYX Matte Bronzer ($10 at Ulta) in Deep Tan (a mid toned orange based tan). I highlighted the tops of my cheeks, between my brows, brow bones, and Cupid’s Bow with the 2nd shade of the 2nd row () of the NYX Born to Glow Palette($25 at Ulta)  (a gold toned champagne). I lined my lips today using ColourPop Lippie Pencil ($6 on their website) in the color Oh Sis (a smoked paprika) and then filled in my lips using Tarte Sea Color Splash Lipstick ($21 at Sephora) in the color Sunkissed (a muted coral nude cream… Sephora describes this color as a pink peach).

Final Thoughts:

Tarte Clean Slate Timeless Smoothing Primer: A++                                                                  You get .5 ounces of product in the jar. It’s a pore blurring primer. I have had it in my collection for a while, I used it once and it didn’t really do much…. I watched a few videos and figured out that I wasn’t using it right. You have to scrape out a bit of this product and warm it up on your fingers before pressing the product into your skin…. I tried it that way today and LOVED the results. It even blurred the wrinkles between my eye brows. I am definitely incorporating this into my makeup routine.

ColourPop No Filter Foundation: A+++!!                                                                                         It comes in 42 shades, 21 shades for deeper skin. You get .85 fluid ounces of product in this bottle (with a pump). I am still loving this foundation. It’s so pretty on the face. I think I am going to pick up a lighter shade, I feel like the shade I own is just a bit deeper than I wanted. Once my face is powdered and bronzed you can’t really tell that it’s deeper than my skin tone, but I want to see how it would like with a color closer to my skin tone…. Love love LOOOOOVE this foundation.

ELF HD Lifting Concealer: A++                                                                                                          It comes in 3 shades with none for deeper skin tones. I’m unsure how many ounces you get with this product and their website doesn’t say. I do know that this tube has lasted me a year (a little goes a long way). This concealer looks so pretty under the eyes. It’s a very hydrating concealer. It doesn’t set down and does continue to slip if you don’t set it with powder. It doesn’t crease but I did notice after a few hours of wearing this concealer that the fine lines does get emphasized. Now this could be due to the powder I am using and not really the fault of the concealer… either way it’s so beautiful that I will continue to use and purchase this concealer.

BH Cosmetics Love in London 16 Color Shadow Palette: A+++!!!!                                         You get .56 ounce of product in this palette. O.M.Gosh!!! I keep forgetting how much I love the shadows in this palette! The shimmers are so beautiful and the shadows as a whole are so pigmented and buttery. They buff out so effortlessly and blend so well together. You get plenty of transition shades and crease shades and can create a subtle look or a more glam look with this palette. I am most definitely getting a ton of use out of this palette this year.

NYX Born to Glow Palette: B-                                                                                                                You get .17 ounces of product in this palette. I love the selection of colors in this palette… it just has too much glitter in the formula for me to really love the palette for my cheeks. I love it for my Cupid’s Bow and my inner corner highlights but I will not be repurchasing this palette once I hit pan.

ELF Lock on Liner and Brow Cream: B-                                                                                      You get .19 ounces of product in the pot. It comes in 4 colors. This brow product gave me trouble today, it kept transferring, I couldn’t get a clean line on the bottom of my brows, it kept lifting off my bald patches. It was just a hot mess. I think the product might have dried out a bit… I have other brow products I like better so I will not be repurchasing this one in the future but I will try to use the one I have up.

NYX On the Rise  Volume Liftscara: A                                                                                              You get .33 ounce of product in the tube. It’s a descent mascara. It lengthens the lashes, builds up on itself good. It does flake a bit around the 5 hour mark but if you use a primer first that doesn’t happen. I’ll definitely use the tube I have up, but am not sure if I will repurchase it.

ColourPop Super Shock Cheek: A+                                                                                               You get .15 ounces of product in the pot. I love the formula of this product. I wish they had a more matte version as I don’t always like a satin finish to my blush, but this formula and finish leaves a healthy glow. I finally figured out that as long as I tap it into my cheeks, and not swipe it, it doesn’t go on patchy. I really loved how it looks on my cheeks today.

NYX Matte Bronzer: A                                                                                                                     You get .33 ounces of product in this compact. It comes in 3 shades. I really love the finish to this bronzer. It’s listed as a matte but it goes on looking a bit satin. the undertones of this bronzer as perfect for everyday wear. I own 2 shades , medium and deep. I will use up both and will always make sure to keep at least 1 shade in my collection. It’s highly pigmented so going in with a light hand is best.

Tarte Cololr Sea Splash Lipstick: A+                                                                                                 It comes in 27 shades. You get .12 ounces of product in the bullet. This lipstick goes on so creamy. It feels more like a lip balm than an actual lipstick. This product doesn’t feather. It’s not the most long wearing lipstick but it’s pretty and nourishing.  I own 3 colors and I have plans to purchase more shades for this summer.

Well that’s all for now dolls. Hope the end of your weekend is a great one. Remember save a spoon for a bit of lipstick.

XOXO

Face of the Day Good morning dolls. Hope your having a good day. Today my spoons are low and my pain level is low too (thank goodness for that).

[dazombi3fari3]

Good morning dolls. I hope all is well with you today… I hope you have many spoons and a low pain level day. I’m running short on spoons today and my pain level is around a 7 because of the rain…. how many of my spoonies out there are effected by the rain??

Today I retried a few of the ColourPop products I reviewed for you yesterday… you can find that review here -> ColourPop Review … and I also tried out 2 new complexion products…. So let’s jump into this Face of the Day…..

BASE: I primed my face with Makeup Forever Step 1 Skin Equalizer ($37 at Sephora).I used Tarte CC Undereye Corrector ($25 at Ulta) in the color Light-Medium. For foundation I tried out the ColourPop No Filter Matte Foundation ($12 on their website) in the color Medium 100. I used the ColourPop No Filter Matte Concealer ($6.50 on their website) in the color Medium 22. To set my full face I used the ColourPop No Filter Setting Powder ($9 on their website) in the color Translucent and to warm up my face I used the Colourpop Pressed Powder Bronzer ($8 on their website) in the color Talk to the Palm.

EYES: I primed my eyes as I always do with Tarte Shape Tape () in the color Light-Medium Honey. For my eye shadow today I used 2 ColourPop palettes… the palette I created ($24 as a bundle on the ColourPop website) and the Going Coconuts Palette ($12 on their website). To set my Shape Tape I used the palette I created and the color the color Hear Me Out (a matte cream color) and then as my 1st transition shade I chose Issues (a matte pale orange creamsicle). As my 2nd transition shade used Wake Up Call (a matte pale tan). To deepen my crease I popped over to the Going Coconuts Palette and used the color Shell Ya (a matte mid-toned peachy brown). To darken my outer v I used Feathered (a matte burgundy brown) which I also carried to the outre 1/3 of my lid. To deepen my outer v a bit more I used Lets Do It (a matte true black) that I defused with Feathered. For my low lash line I used Shell Ya again as my drop shadow and then I deepened the lash line with Lets Do It. On my inner 2/3 of the lid I used Party Favors (a metallic gold with peach reflect). I lined my upper lash line with Charlotte Tilbury Eye Powder Pencil ($22 on the Beautylish website) in the color The Classic (a true deep brown matte). I smudged the liner out and went over it with Cloud Nine (a matte dusty deep brown from the palette I created). I lined my water line using the BH Cosmetics Power Pencil ($8 on their website) in the color Beige. I used the ColourPop Brow Boss Pencil ($5.50 on their website) and Brow Boss Gel ($6.50 on their website) and then perfected the brow with Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Powder Duo ($23 on Beautylish) all in the color Dark Brown. I carved out my brow linen with the BH Studio Pro Brow Highlighter ($5 on their website) on the matte side and set it with Hear Me Out again. I highlighted the inner corner of my eyes with Urban Decay Single Shadow ($20 at Ulta) in the color Midnight Cowboy. I primed my lashes using the Loreal Voluminous Primer ($5.99 at Target) and then followed that up with the Loreal Voluminous Carbon Black ($5.99 at Target).

CHEEKS and LIPS: For blush I used the ColourPop Super Shock Cheek Blush ($8 on their website) in the color Quarters (a deep coral satin). I highlighted the tops of my cheek bones, temples, brow bone, and Cupid’s Bow with the ColourPop Super Shock Cheek Highlighter ($8 on their website) in the color Wisp (a medium toned champagne pearlized finish). I lined my lips with NYX Suede Matte Lip Pencil ($4 at Ulta) in the color Whipped Caviar (a mid-toned pinky coral nude) and then filled my lips in with ColourPop Lippie Sitx ($6 on their website) in the color Topanga (a bright coral cream).

Final Thoughts….

ColourPop No Filter Matte Foundation: A+++!!!!                                                                           It comes in 42 shades, 14 of which are for deeper skin. It’s billed as an oil-free, buildable full coverage foundation with soft blurring pigments to give you a natural matte finish. You get .85 fluid ounces of product. If there was a higher grade that I could give this foundation, I would totally do it!!! This foundation is lightweight… it is more of a demi matte than a full on matte… it left my skin looking hydrated and perfected. This foundation buff into the skin beautifully and a small amount is all you need. I chose the shade 100 Medium which says that it is a neutral foundation with peachy undertones for medium skin tones…. for me it was a little to yellow based; but after I got the rest of my complexion products on my face it worked out. In just one use I can already tell this is going to be my favorite foundation of 2020. Oh yes … this is my favorite find of 2019. Definitely repurchasing this product.

ColourPop No Filter Matte Concealer: A++ This concealer comes in 30 shades (10 for light, medium, and deep skin tones). You get .14 fluid ounces of product.  It’s billed as a  full coverage concealer formulated with soft blurring pigments to give you a creaseproof, matte finish. This concealer looks so pretty under the eyes. The color I chose was Medium 22 (a neutral warm concealer for medium skin tones) and it’s the perfect color for my under eye and orbital bone area. It buffs into the skin so well that you can’t tell you even put it on, save for the fact that your under eyes look flawless. I liked this concealer so much that I promptly purchased a back up.  If youare in the market for a new concealer I highly recommend this one.

ColourPop No Filter Setting Powder: A+                                                                                        In yesterday’s review of the ColourPop brand I graded this powder a B- grading because it vanished into nothing in less than 2 hours. I surmised that this was because I had too much moister going on between the daily moisturizer and the Tinted Moisturizer. I was right. With today’s foundation this powder is perfect. It’s going on 5 hours later and this powder is still in place and I look flawless. It even layered well over my concealer. I really like it in conjunction with this matte foundation. I don’t think it will ever replace my Laura Mercier loose setting powder, but it will definitely go into my makeup rotation and I will more than likely repurchase it.

ColourPop Going Coconuts Palette: A+++                                                                                         I know I have already done a review on this palette, but I just love it so much!!!! I am so glad I purchased it. The shadows are so buttery smooth and pigmented. They blend like a dream.

Charlotte Tilbury Eye Powder Pencil: F!!!                                                                                    Oh I wanted so badly to like this product, to find a way to incorporate it into my makeup routine…. this pencil is creamy but it doesn’t set down. It doesn’t blend good either. When you try to buff it out a bit it just disappears into nothing. I even had a hard time smudging a shadow over the top of it without it going away…. I had to use the liner 4 times just to get the intensity I have on my lids now. This pencil is just so not worth the price tag, not when there are drug store liners that perform so much better. I will be decluttering this pencil next month … I wont even waste the time to use it up.

Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Powder Duo: B-                                                                                I know this is a cult favorite, but at $23 it’s nothing special. It doesn’t really go on even and skips over the bald patches in my brows.  It takes some finesse but it does get the job done… I still prefer my Professional Brow Powder from Oh La La Brow Bar.

BH Cosmetics Power Pencil: A-                                                                                                          It comes in 9 colors. It’s pigmented, long lasting, and creamy. It’s billed as a water proof liner, however I do need to reapply this liner to my water line later through the day, but I am glad I have it. It’s the perfect flesh tone for the water line, not to bright, not to tan … as I said during my BH Cosmetics review … I will definitely repurchase this liner.

ColourPop Super Shock Cheek Blush: A++                                                                            Yesterday I gave this product an A++ and I stand by that grade now. I had said it went on patchy but that it could just be skipping because my skin was so emollient. I tried it today again and it still skipped a little… now I’m wondering if it could be catching on my finishing powder?? I’ll have to try it before my powder the next time to see if it skips again… however I did find that if I pat it into the cheeks it goes on evenly. I really love the formula and am not deterred by the patchiness as it is a subtle patchiness and can easily be buffed out.

ColourPop Super Shock Cheek Highlighter: A++                                                                           In yesterday’s review I gave it an A+ … I upgraded it because I have found if I apply it with my finger or just tap it on to the skin with a brush that there is no real glitter to be seen, and the shade is a beautiful tone. This highlighter is growing on me. It too early for me to tell if I will repurchase it, but I am glad to have it in my collection.

ColourPop Lippie Sitx: A+++                                                                                                         This is another product that already reviewed yesterday however the color Topanga is so freaking amazing! It is so beautiful that it is currently my favorite color of life. It’s the perfect Coral, not to muted, not to bold … just perfect!!! If you are in the market for a goes with everything Coral … Topanga is the lipstick for you, and lets discuss the formula again. There is something about the Lippie Stix formula that is just a heavenly thing. It’s got the perfect slip to it, the perfect pigmentation (you don’t even need to cancel out your lips to get the perfect color payoff), it doesn’t bleed or feather and it doesn’t smear all over when you take a sip of something. This is high quality for a minimal cost and like I said Topanga is the perfect shade.

Well that’s all for now dolls.. Stay tuned tomorrow when I review the full Benefit Cosmetics line. I pray that your day is filled with spoons and low pain and that you are able to accomplish whatever you set out to do today…. As always remember to save a spoon for a bit of makeup.

XOXO

ColourPop Revisited Face of the Day Good morning dolls. I hope all is well with you today... I hope you have many spoons and a low pain level day.