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merryfortune · 4 months ago

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I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do

August 15th: Marriage | Sea Bathing/Beach | Crossover

Title: I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do

Ship: Sideshipping | Anzu/Shizuka

Series: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,191

Tags: Past/Referenced Child Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Hopeful Ending

It was a little too late to have cold feet about it.

Not too late for a divorce, Shizuka reasoned, even though she and Anzu had only been officially married for all of what… two hours? The cake still had its knife in it in case anyone wanted to go for seconds after the bridal dance.

Marriage was a big, bureaucratic thing. It also seemed like something well way off into a murky future tomorrow that would never actually become today but lo and behold. The bell now tolled for her and her lover, letting half the countryside know that she had become Mazaki Shizuka.

The thought filled her with bubbles for a while. Cheery, exciting bubbles of a happier future which was so faraway, it could never happen. Now it just filled her with bile. She felt like she could puke it all up and over her sparkly white shoes bought especially new for the occasion. She could taste everything at the back of her throat, the wedding cake, the main meal, yesterday’s breakfast, whilst she stared at the champagne slowly going flat in her glass.

“Are you okay?” Anzu asked. “Not feeling nervous for our big dance, are you?”

“Oh, um, only a little.” Shizuka lied through her teeth.

Anzu reached across the head table and placed her hand at the edge of it. She tapped the pristine tablecloth and coaxed Shizuka to place her hand atop of Anzu’s. That’s better. Anzu held her hand, stroked her skin. A tingle went down Shizuka’s spine as she listened to Anzu’s kind words that proceeded.

“We’ve practised so much, you’ve done so well. We’re gonna stun.” Anzu encouraged her, entirely oblivious to the problems causing the obvious raincloud of Shizuka’s head.

“Yayyy.” Shizuka weakly replied.

That was true. Anzu’s words did spark joy - or at least the idea of it. Shizuka smiled sheepishly as she recalled all the effort that had gone into the wedding. The fraught discussions of if it should go ahead at all because of what Shizuka had witnessed as a child during her own parents’ marriage. It lingered but it didn’t lose her completely.

She knew the sacrament and milestone meant the world of Anzu who was so full of so many dreams and Shizuka wanted to be one of them. So, she said yes with a heart in the right place and full of hope. The mania that followed was stressful but it was fun, too. She felt like the centre of not only Anzu’s world as her bride to be but the whole world’s.

Shopkeepers bent over backwards for them as potential patrons since weddings meant an even bigger pricetag could be attached to their goods and services. The window shopping and actual shopping for an engagement ring. Cake testing and florist visiting. Dress shopping was the best and the worst, not a moment was spared in the pursuit of perfectly tailored glamour.

The result was that this was not a wedding that had happened overnight with little foresight or forward planning. It had been in the works for two years.

Yet now, for all that preparation, Shizuka wanted to leave Anzu at the altar. Or she should have. She was regretting not doing that now but it would be a waste to spoil a good dress and a banquet and how much money it cost to hire venues and such.

The sound of squeaky shoes on linoleum alerted Shizuka to the end of her reverie. Anzu looked up and over her shoulder, welcoming Katsuya back to the head table.

“Hey girls, I mean, ladies,” he said as he held onto the back of Shizuka’s chair to say hi, “I just got done talking with the DJ, you two’s dance is queued up if you want to get ready. Powder your noses or something first.”

“Thanks, Katsuya.” Anzu said and she glanced at Shizuka. “Do you need anything first?”

“Er, nope, I’m good!” Shizuka chirped.

Anzu gave her a big smile, the corners of her eyes crinkled with laugh lines and excitement. Shizuka’s stomach plummeted to the floor and she was taken by the hand, pulled along by Anzu to the centre of the stage. The lights around the dancefloor dimmed as they made their way to the middle of it. Their guests - only their nearest and dearest - whooped and hollered.

A wedding was a series of exciting events - the vows, the kiss, the cutting of the cake, and then of course the dance - but as the final one, this one had the most pressure on it to get right. Or wrong and be made a joke of for years to come. Shizuka hoped that it wouldn’t be the latter.

She had the world’s best broadway dancer to guide her. She also had eight weeks of practice behind her with the world’s best broadway dancer and her favourite choreographer as well. In theory, she should be fine. Even with what felt like thousands of eyes on her, Shizuka took position with Anzu in front of her.

Anzu’s hands were calm and steady amid the nerves. She was so effortless when it came to her passions, her talents. She worked hard and the rest, she just trusted in that hard work, that it wouldn’t be in vain but Shizuka wasn’t quite so free.

“You ready?” Anzu asked, her voice a whisper.

“As I’ll ever be.” Shizuka murmured. She so badly wanted to be sick.

She had woken up this morning feeling like a princess. On top of the world. Now she felt like the pauper, or more accurately, the pauper who should have been inside of a pauper’s grave. She should have rolled over and pretended today was written off, that nothing of import was scheduled to happen.

Their music started. Shizuka hazarded a smile. Those opening notes were so comforting and familiar. Even if they heralded the beginning of the choreography, there were so many things to remember and opportunities to make a mistake but this was their song. Or one of them, at least. It was light and silvery and reminded Shizuka of her and Anzu’s first night together in New York. It was Christmas and they went sleighing through the snow. Oh, it was magical.

Holding onto that memory, with Anzu holding her hand through every motion, Shizuka allowed herself to re-enter her very own wedding. She was spun and twirled, dipped to and fro. Anzu took the “masculine” lead so she could show off her more masterful talents at dancing. She had the whole crowd proud with her moves.

Anzu looked so gorgeous as she danced a modernised version of the waltz. She was in her element, sparkling beneath her makeup and well coiffed hair. Her footwork was swift and delicate, the tule of her dress bounced in tune with the music and her movements. It was very clearly the happiest moment of her life.

And for both herself and for Anzu, Shizuka couldn’t be happier and yet.

She was still detached from it. Eaten away by her worries, merely going through the motions as though she were the doll inside of a ballerine’s jewellery box, turning on a screw. Not that she minded. The dance was simultaneously an eternity and not long enough as the music began to fade out. She had done it. She had survived dancing with Anzu to conclude the official matters of their wedding.

It was a weight off. Literally. Shizuka’s shoulders no longer felt quite so sloped as Anzu changed how she held her wife around her waist.

They paused long enough to take a vow. Katsuya’s voice was boisterous over all, he couldn’t be happier for his sister and his now sister-in-law. It embarrassed Shizuka.

“Thank you muchly.” Anzu announced. “Please, feel free to enjoy more food, the music, let’s party until dawn!” She split into laughter.

But Shizuka wasn’t.

And that popped up on Anzu’s radar. Shizuka didn’t know if that was an “oh no” moment or a “finally” moment. Either way she felt guilty as Anzu readjusted herself. The music changed to more upbeat party songs to coax people onto the dancefloor.

“Hey, um, is everything okay?” Anzu asked quietly.

She took Shizuka by her hands again, propping them up on Anzu’s shoulders and Shizuka let it happen. The distance between them, with Shizuka’s elbows locked, made them look like middle schoolers leaving a ruler’s worth between them. It was kind of silly. Especially as, together, they bopped along to a Top 40 favourite from twenty years ago. Shizuka stared at her feet though as they did so as she mulled over Anzu’s question. Anzu waiting patiently, not pressing it as they were in public and if Shizuka was close to a melt down, neither would want that as they were the centre of attention.

“Well, um, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” Shizuka mumbled half way through the song.

They drew in closer to one another. They were more romantically chest to chest whilst remaining appropriate for a wedding. Shizuka absorbed Anzu’s bodily warmth, deeply breathed in her pretty perfume and sighed.

“I want a divorce.” Shizuka announced.

Anzu snorted in disbelief, “What?”

“Well, um, I’m… I’m worried. What if this isn’t such a good idea?” Shizuka rambled. “Like, this whole. Getting married thing.”

Anzu’s expression softened. She had been ready to cop this as a joke but she could sense from Shizuka’s melancholy that this was really eating her up. Shizuka appreciated the shift as well. She licked her lips and was mindful of the heavy rhythm of how her heart was pounding in her chest.

“I just remember being so scared of my father as a child.” Shizuka mumbled. “He was awful to me, to Katsuya-nii, and of course to our mother. He drank all our money away, pushed us around. I have no good memories of my parents’ marriage. I know I was so young and sickly but it was quite formative.”

“Oh, Shizuka…” Anzu breathed, dripping with sympathy.

She cuddled Shizuka closer. She rubbed Shizuka’s back and it made her arms twitch. They still danced. They slowed down, their footwork was clumsy and they were out of time with the music. To their friends and family, it looked like they were slow dancing. Not having a heart-to-heart as they whispered amongst themselves.

“What if you start doing that?” Shizuka murmured, her brows furrowed. “What if you lose your job and blame me?”

“I would never.” Anzu replied.

“Do you really think I’m so awful?” Anzu asked, head tilted, trying not to be offended.

“No, not at all!” Shizuka protested. “I think you're wonderful, the best woman in the world and I’m very fortunate to have you but…” Shizuka’s voice trailed off. Her tone of voice was frantic until it fizzled out. She took a breath. “Or, worse still, what if it's me? What if I wake up and start being horrible to you?”

“Oh, Shizuka, you would never.” Anzu gasped, more offended at the idea of Shizuka turning abusive than her.

“How do you know?” Shizuka argued, eyes watering. “What if I start drinking and start pushing you around?”

“You wo-” Anzu stopped herself in her tracks and Shizuka cringed but looked up at her, studying her. Anzu took a deep breath and she nuzzled against Shizuka’s face.

Shizuka requited the affection. Anzu’s face was soft but chalky with foundation and other makeup.

“You're right.” Anzu told her.

“Huh?” Shizuka blinked.

Anzu pulled back and shrugged, “I don’t know what will happen in the future. I don’t know what I’ll be like nor what you’ll be like. Anything can and will happens, I could get hit by a truck tomorrow-”

“Don’t say that!” Shizuka interrupted.

“That’s rich,” Anzu laughed, “but you get the point, right?”

“Right…” Shizuka chewed on her reply.

“Marriage is hard.” Anzu started again, reiterating. “We’ll probably fight, we’ll probably have really boring days and really busy days. We’ll have good ones and bad ones but we’ll make it work, I promise.”

Shizuka smiled a small smile. The butterflies in her stomach were back but it felt oddly good. Not great but it was fuzzy and hopeful which was good enough for her to deem it, well, good.

“Thanks, Anzu,” Shizuka replied, “that… That I can believe. That we can do it, we can put the hard work in.”

“I’m glad,” Anzu murmured and she leaned in, “but if there are days which are excruciating, which make you want to throw in the towel, there are steps we can take before we get to a point where… where we hurt ourselves or each other, you hear?”

“I do.” Shizuka replied.

She tilted her head up and she kissed Anzu on the lips.

Her lipstick was glossy. Her breath had the tingle of champagne. Shizuka committed it all to memory and took Anzu’s words here more to heart than their actual vows that had been rehearsed many a time in the bathroom mirror. She kissed back and surrendered herself to the idea that perhaps marriage can be a dream of hers as well.

#femslash #ygorarepairweek2024 #yugioh duel monsters #yugioh #ygodm #sideshipping #mazaki anzu #shizuka kawai #kawai shizuka #anzu mazaki #writing tag

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