#you can’t just force things to happen the way you want

[lila-lou]

✨Taking her in - Pt. 11✨

Summary: After Dean Winchester saves your life, he brings you into the safety of the bunker. As you grow older and stronger, Dean refuses to let you join the hunts, his overprotective behavior intensifying. But beneath his fierce protectiveness lies something darker—conflicted feelings he can’t face. As your 18th birthday approaches, Dean struggles to keep control, torn between his duty to protect you and emotions he’s buried for too long.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, HUGE Age Gap, Immoral, Underage Reader, Language, ANGST, Fluff

Word Count: 8149

A/N: English isn’t my first language, please be lenient. 💜

By the time Jack brought you back to the bunker, the place felt eerily quiet. You hadn’t expected that—usually, there was some noise, whether it was Sam typing away on his laptop or Dean working on the Impala. But tonight, it was different. As you stepped through the door, the silence seemed almost oppressive, heightening the unease that had settled in your chest.

You took a few steps further into the bunker, glancing around as you called out, “Hello? Anyone here?”.

The sound of your voice echoed slightly in the empty space, but there was no immediate response. You couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off, that there was an energy in the air that you couldn’t quite place. You set your bag down on the nearest chair and wandered deeper into the bunker, the quiet starting to make you feel a little on edge.

Then, you heard a door open and close down the hall, followed by the familiar sound of footsteps. A moment later, Dean appeared, stepping out from the hallway that led to the showers. His hair was damp, and he was still rubbing a towel over his head, dressed in a simple T-shirt and jeans. The casual look contrasted sharply with the tension that seemed to radiate from him.

“Hey”, you said, your voice a little softer now, as if the quiet of the bunker demanded it. You tried to gauge his expression, but Dean’s face was carefully neutral, making it hard to read what he was thinking.

“Hey”, Dean replied, his voice just as soft. He finished towel-drying his hair and slung the towel over his shoulder, trying to act as casual as possible despite the whirlwind of emotions brewing inside him. He glanced around. “Sam’s out for the night”.

The information took you by surprise. “Oh”, you said, glancing around as if expecting to see Sam somewhere nearby. “Did he say where he was going?”.

Dean shook his head, trying to keep his tone light. “Nah, just said he had something to take care of. But… it’s just us tonight”.

The way he said it made your heart skip a beat, and you could feel the tension between you and Dean thickening the air. You weren’t sure what had changed, but something about the way he was looking at you felt different—more intense, more focused.

You took a deep breath. “Is everything okay?”, you asked, your voice laced with concern.

Dean’s eyes met yours, and for a moment, he hesitated. There were so many things he wanted to say, so many emotions he needed to get off his chest, but finding the right words felt impossible. He could see the concern in your eyes, the same concern that had been there for weeks.

Dean hesitated for just a moment, the weight of the conversation he knew the two of you needed to have pressing down on him like a heavy stone. But as much as he wanted to be honest, to finally clear the air between the two of you, the fear of what might happen if he did was too strong. The last thing he wanted was to make things even more complicated, to risk saying something that would push you further away.

So instead, he forced a smile—one that didn’t quite reach his eyes—and shook his head, brushing off your concern. “Everything’s fine”, he said, his voice a little too casual. “Just a long day, you know?”.

You didn’t believe him, not for a second. You could see the tension in his posture, the way he was avoiding your gaze, but you knew better than to push. If Dean wasn’t ready to talk, there was no forcing it. But the unease in your chest didn’t go away, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

Dean, noticing the lingering concern in your eyes, quickly changed the subject. “You probably want to take a shower after being out all day”, he said, his tone lighter. “There’s plenty of hot water left”.

It was such a mundane suggestion, such a clear attempt to shift the focus away from whatever was really going on, that it almost made you laugh. But instead, you nodded, deciding to go along with it for now. Maybe a hot shower would help clear your mind, give you a moment to collect your thoughts before figuring out what to do next.

“Yeah, that sounds good”, you replied, offering him a small smile before turning to head towards the bathroom.

After taking your time in the shower, letting the hot water soothe your muscles and clear your mind as best as it could, you finally stepped out and dried off. You dressed in a simple pair of shorts and a tank top, trying to shake off the lingering unease that had settled over you since you returned to the bunker. You knew something was bothering Dean—something that went beyond just having a long day—but you also knew how stubborn he could be when it came to opening up.

When you emerged from the bathroom, the faint sound of clinking bottles drew you towards the kitchen. As you rounded the corner, you saw Dean leaning against the counter, a beer in hand. It was his third, judging by the two empty bottles beside him. He stared down at the bottle in his hand as if it held the answers to the questions swirling in his mind.

The sight of him like that—alone, brooding, and clearly lost in thought—made your heart ache.

“Hey”, you said softly as you entered the kitchen, your voice gentle so as not to startle him.

Dean looked up, surprised to see you standing there. His eyes flickered over you for a moment, taking in your relaxed appearance, before he offered a small, tight-lipped smile.

You hesitated, the words you wanted to say caught in your throat. The silence between you had stretched on for far too long, and you knew it was time to address it, no matter how uncomfortable it might be. Taking a deep breath, you stepped closer to him, the concern in your eyes reflecting the weight of the past two months.

“We haven’t talked in over two months, Dean”, you finally said, your voice quiet but firm. “Today’s the first day you’ve actually talked to me”.

Dean winced slightly at your words, the truth of them hitting him harder than he wanted to admit. He had been avoiding you, avoiding this conversation, and now it was all coming to a head. He looked away, his grip tightening around the beer bottle as he tried to find the right words.

“I know”, he muttered, his voice thick with regret. “I’ve been… avoiding it. Avoiding you”.

You could see the guilt etched into his features, the way his shoulders slumped under the weight of it all. The tension between you was palpable, and your heart ached as you watched him struggle with his emotions.

“It’s okay, Dean”, you said quietly, trying to keep your voice steady despite the pain you felt. “I know you don’t feel the same way I do”.

Dean’s head snapped up at your words, his eyes wide with surprise and something else—something that looked almost like fear. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead, he just stared at you, the conflict in his eyes deepening.

“You don’t have to explain”, you continued, trying to give him an out, to make it easier for both of you. “I get it. Whatever happened between us… it was a mistake. You’ve been avoiding me because you didn’t want to hurt me, and I appreciate that. But you don’t have to keep pretending, Dean. I understand”.

Dean’s grip tightened on the beer bottle, his knuckles turning white as he struggled to find the right words. The last thing he wanted was for you to think he didn’t care, that he didn’t feel something. But the fear of what those feelings meant, of what they could lead to, had kept him silent for too long.

“It’s not that simple”, he finally managed to say, his voice rough with emotion. “It’s not that I don’t feel anything. I do. But… it scares the hell out of me, (Y/N). You mean so much to me, and I don’t want to screw this up. I don’t want to hurt you”.

The sincerity in Dean’s voice made your heart ache, but it was his next words that truly unraveled you. As you looked at him, the depth of your feelings shining through in your gaze, you saw something crack in his expression. His usual tough exterior seemed to falter, revealing a vulnerability you hadn’t seen before.

Your eyes, wide and filled with unspoken love, seemed to be more than he could bear. Dean’s face twisted slightly in an expression of near-pain as he brought a hand up to rub his face, almost as if trying to shield himself from the intensity of your gaze.

“Don’t… don’t look at me like that”, he said, his voice a rough whisper, laced with a whine that you’d never heard from him before. It was as though your gaze alone was enough to break him down, to make him face the emotions he’d been desperately trying to push away.

The way he reacted—the way he seemed almost pained by the love in your eyes—made you hesitate. Your heart was pounding in your chest, torn between wanting to comfort him and the fear that you were only making things worse. You had never seen Dean so vulnerable, so raw, and it scared you as much as it tugged at your heartstrings.

You took a slow, cautious step closer to Dean, your heart pounding in your chest as you closed the distance between you. Every inch felt like a mile, and with each step, the tension in the room grew thicker, the air charged with the weight of everything left unsaid. Dean’s breath hitched as you moved closer, his body going rigid as if he were bracing himself for something he couldn’t quite handle.

When you finally stood in front of him, close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating from his body, Dean froze. His eyes were locked on yours, and for a moment, neither of you moved. It was as if time had stopped, leaving you both suspended in the moment, teetering on the edge of something that could change everything.

Dean’s chest rose and fell sharply, his breath shallow as he battled the storm of emotions raging inside him. His eyes stayed locked on yours, searching, questioning, fighting the pull he felt deep in his gut. He could see the vulnerability in your gaze, the quiet plea for him to let go, to stop fighting something that felt so inevitable.

You hesitated for a moment, your heart pounding in your ears, before you finally found the courage to speak. “Dean”, you whispered, your voice barely above a breath, “with the life we live, no one would judge. We don’t even know that many people. This… this is between us”.

For a long moment, Dean stayed quiet, his expression conflicted. The weight of your words hung in the air between you, the truth of them undeniable. The world you lived in was unpredictable, dangerous. There wasn’t time for regrets or what-ifs. You knew that, and you were asking him to see it too.

But what truly undid him wasn’t just your words—it was the look in your eyes. The love, the trust, the unwavering belief that this was something real, something worth taking the risk for. He couldn’t fight it anymore.

Without another word, something inside Dean shifted. The tension in his body melted away as he closed the gap between you in one swift, decisive motion. His hands cupped your cheeks, rough and warm, grounding you in the moment as he drew you closer. And then, with a tenderness that nearly broke your heart, he pressed his lips to yours, featherlight at first, as if testing the waters of a moment he had tried so hard to deny.

The kiss was soft, tentative, and filled with the weight of everything unspoken between you. Dean’s lips lingered on yours, warm and gentle, his touch both reassuring and filled with longing. You responded instinctively, your hands finding their way to his chest, fingers gripping his shirt as you leaned into him, the feeling of being this close to him sending a shiver down your spine.

Dean deepened the kiss slowly, his hands sliding from your cheeks to the back of your neck, pulling you even closer as the floodgates of emotion finally opened. There was a rawness to the kiss, an unspoken promise that everything had changed in that moment—that neither of you could go back to the way things were before.

With one swift motion, Dean tugged you closer, lifting you effortlessly and placing you on the edge of the counter without breaking the kiss. Your breath hitched as his body pressed against yours, the heat between you intensifying as he stepped between your legs. His hands gripped your waist, pulling you flush against him.

Your heart raced as Dean's hands slid lower, gripping your hips before settling on your ass, pulling you even tighter against him. The intensity of the moment made you dizzy, your entire body reacting to the heat and desire that was building between you. You couldn’t help the soft gasp that escaped your lips as the friction between your bodies ignited a fire deep inside of you.

Dean’s lips moved with a newfound urgency, the kiss deepening as his tongue teased yours, and you melted into him, letting the wave of passion take over. The hunger in his touch was palpable, and you could feel his restraint slipping away with each passing second. His rough hands caressed your body, leaving a trail of heat wherever they roamed.

As he pressed harder against you, your body instinctively arched into his, seeking more of the delicious friction. You could feel his erection straining against his jeans, pressing insistently against your core, and the sensation was almost overwhelming. Your breath hitched again, a soft moan escaping your lips as the intensity of the moment threatened to consume you.

Dean broke the kiss, his breathing ragged as he rested his forehead against yours, his eyes dark with desire. “Tell me to stop”, he whispered, his voice low and hoarse with need. “If you don’t want this, tell me to stop”.

But stopping was the furthest thing from your mind. You shook your head, your voice barely above a whisper as you replied, “I don’t want you to stop, Dean. I want this. I want you”.

That was all the permission Dean needed. With a growl of raw need, he captured your lips again, his hands roaming your body with a newfound urgency. You clung to him, your fingers tangling in his hair as the world around you disappeared.

The heat between you and Dean was overwhelming, almost too much to handle. Every touch, every movement sent your senses into overdrive. You could barely think, barely process the flood of emotions and desire that had built up over the months. It was like everything you had felt for Dean was coming to a head all at once, and you could do nothing but surrender to it.

Dean’s lips left yours, trailing down your jaw, leaving a hot, tingling sensation in their wake. The rough stubble of his chin brushing against your skin made you shiver, adding to the intensity of the moment. His lips moved to your neck, finding that sensitive spot just below your ear, and the second his mouth touched it, a moan escaped your lips, unbidden and raw.

No one had ever touched you like this before. No one had ever kissed you in a way that made you feel like you were coming undone. Every brush of Dean’s lips, every press of his body against yours, was electric. Your whole body felt alive in a way it never had before, and you could feel the wetness pooling between your legs as desire coursed through you.

Dean’s hands gripped your hips, his fingers digging in just enough to leave an imprint of his need. You could feel how much he wanted this, how much he wanted you, and the realization only made your own desire burn hotter. He groaned softly against your neck, his breath hot against your skin, and the sound of it sent a shiver down your spine.

Your hands clung to him, desperate for more contact, more of him. The way his body pressed against yours, the way his lips moved over your skin—it was everything you had wanted for so long, and now that it was happening, you could barely contain yourself.

“Dean”, you breathed, your voice shaking with desire. You didn’t even know what you wanted to say, only that you needed him to know how much you needed him.

Dean’s hands moved up, tangling in your hair as he pulled you closer, his lips now at your collarbone. He kissed you there, slow and deliberate, as if savoring every inch of your skin.

Dean’s lips continued their slow, deliberate trail across your collarbone, his kisses growing more fervent as he marked you with his touch. Each brush of his lips was like a spark against your skin, igniting a deeper flame of desire within you. The moans that escaped your lips were soft, almost involuntary, as the sensations overwhelmed you.

With a sudden surge of need, Dean picked you up effortlessly, his strength and urgency clear as he began walking towards his room. Your legs wrapped instinctively around his waist, and you clung to him, breathing heavily, your heart pounding in your chest.

As you both moved, you took the chance to press a kiss to his stubbled jaw, your lips brushing against his rough skin. The contact was tender but full of your own desperate longing. Dean groaned softly, the sound of your touch making him tighten his grip on you.

When you reached his room, Dean kicked the door open with a firm nudge of his foot, the creaking of the hinges echoing slightly in the quiet room. He moved with a purpose, his focus solely on the intense connection between you both.

As he carried you inside, you could feel the solid strength of his body against yours, the warmth radiating from him almost overwhelming. Your heart raced in sync with the thudding of his chest beneath your hands.

Dean carefully lowered you onto the bed, his movements tender despite the urgency of the moment. The mattress gave softly beneath you. He didn’t break the kiss as he maneuvered you both into a more comfortable position, his hands still gripping your hips with a mixture of passion and reverence.

Once you were settled, Dean’s hands moved to your waist, gently yet firmly guiding you to lie back against the pillows.

Your fingers tangled in Dean’s hair as he began to kiss down your throat, his lips brushing against your skin with a mixture of tenderness and urgency. Each kiss felt deliberate, as though he was savoring the moment, and you couldn’t help the soft, breathless moan that escaped your lips.

Dean’s hands moved with the same careful precision, gripping your waist firmly yet tenderly, holding you in place as his lips traveled lower.

Your back arched slightly off the bed, pressing yourself closer to him, needing more of his touch, more of the warmth that was spreading through you with each kiss. Dean responded by tightening his hold on you, his fingers trailing along the curve of your waist, his touch grounding you in the moment.

He kissed the hollow of your throat, then the curve of your collarbone, taking his time as if he wanted to memorize every inch of you.

“Stop me if you don’t want this”, he said, the words coming out almost as a plea, a last attempt to make sure this was truly what you both wanted.

Without hesitation, you gently pressed him tighter against you by the back of his head, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer. The action was a clear answer, a silent confirmation that you wanted this, that you wanted him, without any more reservations or hesitations.

As you reassured him with your actions, Dean’s movements grew more confident, more deliberate. He gently pulled your top over your head, a sharp intake of breath escaping him as he took in the sight of you.

Seeing you there, your bare skin exposed to him, stirred something deep within Dean. It wasn’t just desire—it was admiration, awe, and a profound appreciation for the beauty and trust you displayed. You started to instinctively bring your arms up, a natural reaction to cover yourself, but Dean was quicker. He gently caught your wrists, lowering them back down as he leaned in, his lips pressing a warm, reassuring kiss against your collarbone.

“They’re small”, you mumbled, a trace of shame in your voice. “I know you usually prefer them… bigger, but—”.

Dean’s expression softened, and he cut you off with a tender touch. “Don’t”, he said, his voice low but firm.

“You have no idea how damn perfect you are”, he murmured, his voice rough with emotion.

His eyes moved from yours down to your chest, his gaze full of admiration and desire. “Doesn’t matter what I’ve liked before. You’re it for me”.

Dean leaned back slightly, his eyes never leaving yours as he carefully cupped one of your breasts with his large, warm hand. The contrast between his size and the delicate curve of your body was striking, and he marveled at the sensation of your skin beneath his fingers.

His hand enveloped your breast completely, the pads of his fingers reaching nearly up to your collarbone as he explored the softness with a gentle, reverent touch. He kneaded your breast slowly, his fingers applying just the right amount of pressure, and a deep, appreciative groan escaped him.

The feeling of his touch was electric, sending waves of pleasure through you. Your breath hitched, the sensation of his hands exploring you making your body respond instinctively. You closed your eyes for a moment, focusing on the overwhelming pleasure and the warmth of his touch.

Dean’s own breath growing heavier with each passing second, as he watched your reaction.

As he gently brushed his thumb over your hardened nipple, the simple touch sent a shiver through your entire body, eliciting another soft moan from your lips.

“Has anyone ever touched you like this?”, he asked, his voice deep and quiet, the vibration of it mingling with the warmth of his breath against your skin. There was a vulnerability in his question, a cautious curiosity about your past experiences, as if he was both afraid to know and needed to hear the answer.

You opened your eyes, meeting his gaze with a mixture of desire and sincerity. “No”, you whispered, the word barely escaping your lips as you responded to his touch.

Dean’s actions intensified, his touch skillful and purposeful as he delicately rolled your nipple between his thumb and forefinger. The sensation built slowly, a growing heat that made your breaths come quicker, each exhale a soft moan escaping your lips. His attention to your response, his focus on giving pleasure was evident in his every move.

As he dipped his head lower, his breath hot against your skin, he kissed his way across your chest. The anticipation built with each gentle kiss until his lips finally enveloped your right nipple, sucking gently while his fingers continued their delicate work on your left. The dual stimulation was overwhelming, the pleasure sharp and sweet.

You shook under his touch, a cry escaping your lips as a sudden rush of intense pleasure washed over you. It was unexpected, powerful, and left you trembling. Dean’s eyes, locked on your face, held a look of awe and surprise, mixed with a deep satisfaction at seeing your uninhibited response.

As the wave of your climax ebbed, Dean gently eased the intensity of his touch, his lips softening as they lingered on your skin, his fingers easing their pressure, allowing you to catch your breath. The room was filled with the sound of your heavy breathing and the quiet hum of the bunker’s distant machinery.

“You’re quite responsive”, he murmured, his voice low and thick with emotion.

Despite the tenderness of the moment, the physical intensity of his desire was undeniable. He could feel the throbbing ache of his arousal, constrained and increasingly uncomfortable within the confines of his jeans. He made a subtle adjustment, trying to ease the pressure without drawing too much attention to his state.

He maintained eye contact, his gaze never wavering from yours. There was a question in his eyes, a silent inquiry about how far you wanted to go, what you were comfortable with.

To make your intentions clearer, you reached up and gently cupped his face, pulling him towards you. Your kiss was soft but insistent. The way your lips met his, the gentle pressure and the warmth, was meant to reassure him that you were fully present, that you wanted to continue.

Dean responded to your kiss with a deep, satisfied groan, his arms wrapping around you more firmly. The pressure of his arousal was palpable, and he shifted slightly, trying to manage the intense need he felt. As you gently tugged on his shirt, he took the hint, his hands moving to assist you.

He began to lift his shirt over his head, his gaze locked on yours as he did so.

As Dean sat back on his heels, his gaze never leaving yours, you took a deep breath, summoning your courage. The moment felt fragile, a delicate balance between desire and nervous anticipation. You hesitated for just a moment before slowly placing your palm against his chest.

The feel of his skin beneath your hand was different from anything you had experienced before. The warmth of his body, the solid muscle, and the slight texture of his chest hair were all new sensations. You moved your hand cautiously, exploring the contours of his chest, tracing the defined lines of his muscles with a mix of curiosity and reverence.

Dean’s response was immediate. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, his breath catching as he felt your touch. The sensation of your hand moving over him, so tentative yet full of intent, elicited a low, appreciative groan.

He leaned into your touch, his hands resting on your hips, encouraging you to explore further if you wanted.

Your hand trailed lower, tracing the contours of Dean’s ribs down to his stomach. You were acutely aware of his breathing, the rise and fall of his chest more pronounced as you approached the edge of his v-line.

The intensity of the moment spiked as you moved your hand lower, guided by curiosity. But just as you were about to venture further, Dean’s hand swiftly caught your wrist, his grip firm yet gentle.

Your heart skipped a beat, fear flickering through you as you worried you might have crossed a line. You looked up at Dean, your cheeks warming with a blush, but his expression was not one of reprimand. Instead, his eyes were dark with desire, his breath uneven.

“If you gonna touch me there”, he mumbled, his voice thick with arousal and a hint of amusement, “I’m gonna fucking come in my damn pants”.

His candid admission, raw and unguarded, made you pause—a mix of surprise and a deep, thrilling rush of excitement washed over you.

“Okay”, you whispered, your voice laced with a teasing tone, acknowledging the boundary he had set with a newfound understanding of the depth of his arousal. “We wouldn’t want that, would we?”.

Dean let out a breathy laugh, the sound mixed with relief and desire. His fingers loosened around your wrist, but he didn’t let go, choosing instead to guide your hand back up to safer territory. As he placed your hand over his heart, you could feel its rapid beat beneath your palm.

Dean’s touch was reverent as he approached the waistband of your shorts. His heart pounded loudly in his chest, a rhythm you could feel under your palm as your hand still rested there. The moment was charged with a mix of excitement and nervous energy as you felt him begin to gently pull down your shorts and panties together.

As the fabric slid down your legs, exposing you further, a wave of vulnerability washed over you. Instinctively, you pressed your thighs together, an involuntary reaction to the sudden exposure. The blush that spread across your cheeks deepened, a mix of desire and a shy apprehension filling you.

Dean’s touch was gentle as he brushed his fingers slowly up and down your thighs, his movements soothing yet filled with intent.

His voice was soft, almost a whisper. “Wanna open up for me, sweetheart?”, he murmured. The way he said it, so softly and respectfully, made your heart skip a beat. His words, combined with the tender way he was touching you, made your entire body respond instinctively.

A deeper flush spread across your cheeks, and you could feel a flutter of nervous excitement mixed with a powerful, undeniable arousal. With a slow, deep breath, you gave a nod, your eyes meeting his with a blend of trust and desire.

Dean’s touch was gentle as he spread your legs slowly, his eyes dropping to your glistening folds. The sight of you, so vulnerable and exposed, made his breath catch in his throat. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself as he bit his tongue to hold back the flood of feelings rushing through him.

His gaze locked with yours. “You want me to touch you?”, he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, thick with anticipation.

With a soft, breathy reply, you nodded slightly.

Dean’s eyes stayed locked on yours. His fingers traced lightly along the inside of your thighs, starting at the top and moving slowly downward. The sensation of his touch was warm and almost tickling, sending shivers across your skin. He paused briefly, letting his fingers linger just above your folds, giving you time to adjust to the sensation and to the growing tension.

When he finally touched you, his fingers made a delicate, tentative exploration. He started with gentle strokes along your outer lips, feeling the softness and the heat of your skin. His touch was feather-light, almost reverent, as if he was savoring each moment. He could feel the way your body responded to his touch, the way you quivered and your breaths quickened.

As he continued, he applied a bit more pressure, his fingers gently parting your folds. The sensation was intimate and intense, a new kind of pleasure that made your body respond in ways you hadn’t anticipated.

He used his thumb to trace small, deliberate circles around your clit. You could feel the growing heat and moisture, the pleasure building gradually as his touch became more confident, more attuned to your reactions. Your breathing grew uneven, each exhale a soft moan of pleasure that was met with Dean’s quiet, encouraging hums.

“You’re so damn wet”, he murmured, his voice low and laden with desire. He took a moment to spread your wetness around with his thumb, ensuring his touch was as smooth as possible. The sounds of your arousal were evident, adding to the intimacy of the moment.

You mumbled an apology, feeling a mix of embarrassment and pleasure. Your voice barely audible amidst the heavy breaths and quiet moans.

“That’s a damn good thing, Sweetheart”, he said with a cheeky grin.

With a deliberate slowness, Dean positioned himself above you, his body close to yours. One hand remained beside your head, offering support and stability, while his other hand stayed between your bodies, a comforting presence as he began to gently push a finger inside you.

The sensation was both intimate and overwhelming, a new kind of pleasure as Dean’s finger slowly entered you. He was careful, his movements measured and deliberate, feeling the tightness of your body around him. The sensation of just one finger, the way you enveloped him, was intense for both of you. Dean’s breath caught in his throat as he felt how incredibly tight you were.

You could feel the stretch and the pressure, the way your body responded to his touch. The initial invasion was slow and carefully controlled, a gentle introduction to the new sensations. Dean’s eyes remained locked on yours, his expression a mix of concentration and deep affection.

He took his time, allowing you to adjust to the sensation of his finger inside you.

His finger moved with deliberate intent, slowly stretching and exploring as he sought to open you up. His touch was gentle but persistent, aiming to make you as comfortable as possible while preparing you for more. The sensation of his finger working inside you was a blend of pressure and pleasure, a new experience that made you shiver and gasp.

Despite the careful and attentive approach, your body remained incredibly tight around his finger.

As Dean continued to gently work his finger inside you, the pleasure built to a peak, causing you to climax once again. The wave of pleasure hit you with such force that you shook beneath him, your body trembling as you clung to his biceps.

As the waves of your climax began to recede, Dean gently withdrew his finger, his touch lingering for a moment longer before he pulled away. He resisted the urge to lick his finger clean, not wanting to scare you just yet, but damn, the urge was there.

Your eyes were fixed on Dean as he opened his belt and the zipper of his jeans.

When Dean finally freed his erection from the confines of his jeans, it was larger than you had anticipated. The sight of him was both awe-inspiring and intimidating, the size of his dick catching you by surprise. Your eyes widened slightly, a mix of curiosity and nervousness playing across your face as you took in the sight.

Dean positioned himself above you once more, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation or discomfort.

He took a deep breath, his gaze softening as he asked quietly, “Are you sure about this?”.

You could feel the intensity of the moment building, your breath growing heavier as your heart raced in response.

Despite the nerves and the racing of your heart, you nodded.

Dean positioned himself at your entrance, his hands were steady and gentle as he guided himself slowly.

He began to ease into you, the initial contact was slow and tender, allowing you time to adjust to the feeling of him. The sensation of his head pressing against your entrance was a mix of pressure and warmth, a new and intimate experience that made you both shiver.

Dean’s eyes moved between your face and the point where you two were connected. Each inch he progressed was measured, ensuring you were as comfortable as possible. His own breath was ragged, the effort of holding back his own pleasure evident in the tension in his jaw and the way he gripped himself to maintain control.

He pressed forward gently, his breath caught as he felt the slight barrier. His hand, which had been steady and supportive on your hips, tightened slightly.

As Dean finally breached the barrier of your hymen, a soft cry escaped your lips, your grip on his biceps tightening instinctively for support. The sensation was intense, a mix of sharp pain and the profound connection that was unfolding.

Dean’s eyes were locked onto your face. He let out a deep, throaty groan as he continued to slide inside you, his movements slow and deliberate. The tightness around him was overwhelming, and he could feel every inch. The pressure was almost too much for him to handle; he had to hold tightly to himself, a struggle against his own burgeoning climax.

Dean’s breathing grew more labored as he finally bottomed out, fully sheathed within you. He remained still for a moment, allowing you to adjust to his full presence.

His hands, which had been gripping your hips gently, now caressed your sides, providing a soothing presence as he watched you closely. You could feel the heat and the firmness of him inside you, the sensation both overwhelming and deeply intimate.

“You good?”, he asked, his voice heated and thick with emotion, the words barely more than a whisper as he searched your eyes for reassurance. .

You bit your lip, trying to manage the pressure and discomfort. Despite the overwhelming fullness and the intense pressure you felt in your lower belly, you nodded. The sensation of his size was indeed considerable, but you were willing to endure it.

Dean felt the tightness around him, the way you clenched involuntarily, and it made his struggle to hold back even more difficult. His body was reacting strongly to the pressure and the warmth of you. The sensation of you being so tight around him was both incredibly stimulating and a significant test of his restraint.

He remained still for a moment longer, his hands gently caressing your sides, offering comfort as he tried to ease the intensity of the moment. His focus was on you, on making sure you were okay, before he began to move.

Once he was confident that you were managing the sensation and that you were comfortable enough, he began to move.

He slowly withdrew from you. He took in a deep breath, his chest rising and falling with the effort of maintaining control.

Dean’s gaze remained fixed on his dick. He could see how tightly you were gripping him, how each movement affected you.

Dean’s voice was filled with a strained reverence as he spoke, his breath heavy and uneven. “You feel so damn amazing”, he grunted, his gaze locked onto the sight of his dick surrounded by your folds.

As he continued to move, he remained attentive to your responses. His hands were tender on your sides, occasionally brushing your skin to offer reassurance and comfort. His eyes flicked between your face and where you were connected, watching for any sign of discomfort or pleasure.

As Dean continued his careful, deliberate movements, the pressure and fullness you felt remained intense. Soft, strained moans escaped your lips with each thrust, the mix of pleasure and discomfort evident in your sounds. Your nails dug into his biceps, the pain and the sensation of him stretching you causing a continuous, deep reaction.

Dean´s groans grew deeper, strained with the effort of holding back his own climax. “I’m—fuck”, he started to say, the words breaking off as he struggled to keep his composure.

Just as he was about to tell you how close he was, you whimpered his name, the sound so sweet and vulnerable. The way you spoke his name in that moment was enough to push him over the edge. With a deep, shuddering groan, Dean came inside you, his body tensing and shivering with the release.

His hot cum filled you. His face was buried in the crook of your neck, his breath hot and heavy against your skin, while he was pulsing inside you.

“I.. Sorry”, he mumbled quietly, his voice muffled but sincere.

He felt a mix of embarrassment and disappointment, his quick climax not something he was accustomed to. The sensation of being inside you, combined with your incredible tightness, had proven overwhelming in a way he hadn’t anticipated. His usual control was tested to its limit.

You, on the other hand, were relieved that the intensity was over. The pressure and discomfort you had felt were significant, the brief duration of his climax had spared you from further discomfort.

As Dean lifted his head to look at you, his eyes were full of concern. His brow was furrowed slightly, the depth of his emotions clearly visible. “You okay?”, he asked quietly, his voice laced with worry. “Any pain?”. His hand moved gently to brush a strand of hair from your face, his touch tender and cautious.

You managed a small smile, appreciating his concern. “I’m okay”, you reassured him, your voice soft. “It was a lot, but I’m alright”.

Dean let out a breath, the tension easing from his body as he heard your reassuring words. However, a hint of shame lingered in his expression, since he hadn’t lasted as long as he had hoped. He was used to being in control, and the intensity of the moment had overwhelmed him in ways he hadn’t expected.

He glanced down between your bodies, taking in the sight of the mess you both had made. A mixture of his release, your wetness, and a few drops of blood. “Fuck”, he grumbled softly, his voice laced with a mix of frustration and guilt.

Carefully, Dean began to pull out, his movements slow, not wanting to cause you any more discomfort. As he withdrew, more of the combined fluids dripped down your thighs, the sight making him bite the inside of his cheek. He had wanted this moment to be perfect for you, but now all he could think about was whether he had pushed you too hard, too fast.

As he absently moved down his waist, to pull off a condom—a habit that should have been automatic— his fingers brushed against bare skin. The realization hit him like a punch to the gut, his face instantly going pale as he realized there was no condom to remove.

A wave of panic crossed his features, his eyes widening in shock. “Shit”, Dean muttered under his breath, his mind racing as the gravity of the situation hit him. Dean’s eyes met yours, wide with shock and guilt. His lips parted, but it was clear he was struggling to find the right words. You could feel the shift in the atmosphere, the sudden tension between you, and it made your stomach knot with unease.

“What?”, you asked softly, your voice tinged with confusion and concern as you searched his face for an explanation.

Dean swallowed hard, his hand still frozen near his waist. He looked down briefly, then back up at you, his face pale and tight with worry. “I—I forgot”, he mumbled, his voice rough with guilt.

“What do you mean?”, you asked, your voice still soft, but more anxious now, unsure of why he seemed so rattled.

Dean ran a hand through his hair, clearly distressed. He glanced away for a second before looking back at you. “I… didn’t use protection”, he said, the words coming out in a rush, as though saying them faster would lessen their impact.

You blinked, trying to process what he meant. And then it hit you.

The realization flooded your mind, the implications crashing down all at once. Your heart started racing as the understanding settled in.

Your breath caught in your throat, and you stared at him, eyes wide. “Dean…”, you whispered, the anxiety in your voice clear now.

Dean could see the panic setting in your eyes, and his heart sank even further. “I… I’m gonna get you the pill in the morning”, he said, his words coming quickly, trying to offer some sense of reassurance. “I’ll take care of it. I promise. But for now, let’s just… let’s just take a shower”.

A few minutes later, Dean turned on the shower, the sound of the water filling the small bathroom seemed to drown out the heavy silence between you. He stood with his back to you, his broad, muscular shoulders tense as he quickly typed something into the search bar of his phone. You watched as his fingers moved across the screen, his brows furrowed in concentration, clearly trying to find the information he needed.

You felt vulnerable standing there, the weight of everything that had happened pressing down on you. Without thinking, you crossed your arms over your chest, trying to shield yourself, both physically and emotionally, from the gravity of the situation. The warmth of the room felt stifling, and the sound of the water splashing against the tiles did little to ease the tension building inside you.

Dean glanced over his shoulder at you, his expression a mix of concern and focus. “When was your last period?”, he asked quietly, his voice steady but filled with urgency. He turned back toward the phone, continuing his search while waiting for your answer.

You hesitated for a moment, the question pulling you further into the reality of the situation. Your mind raced, trying to remember. After a few seconds, you answered, your voice quiet, almost uncertain. “Three weeks ago, I think… I’m not sure exactly”.

Dean nodded, absorbing the information as he continued scrolling through the phone. His muscles tensed further, the weight of responsibility clear on his face. He let out a small breath, clearly trying to maintain his composure.

“We’re okay”, he said, his tone measured as he tried to reassure both you and himself. “Small chance I got you pre-… We’ll get the pill tomorrow. Just to be safe”.

You nodded slowly, Dean’s words bringing you a little bit of relief, but not completely erasing the anxiety that still lingered. You bit your lip, trying to process everything. The tension in the room hadn’t fully dissipated, but Dean’s attempt to take control of the situation and offer reassurance helped a little.

Dean finally put his phone down, his shoulders still tight as he rubbed the back of his neck, clearly feeling the weight of the situation too. After a moment, he turned to face you, and despite the seriousness of what had just happened, he gave you one of his familiar, boyish grins—though it was a little weaker than usual.

“Sorry”, he said, his voice soft and laced with regret. There was an awkwardness to the grin, a quiet acknowledgment of how badly things had gotten out of hand, but also an attempt to lighten the moment.

You managed a small, nervous smile in return, appreciating the effort. His smile had always had a way of calming you.

He stepped closer, still cautious, as though he wasn’t sure how to navigate the aftermath of everything. His hand was warm as he reached out for you, and his eyes softened with a mix of tenderness and reassurance. “C’mere”, he mumbled gently, his voice low and soothing as he pulled you towards the shower.

You hesitated for just a moment, the weight of the situation still hanging heavily between you. Even though Dean had already seen every part of you, there was something different about the vulnerability you felt now. But the way he looked at you—caring and patient—helped ease the anxiety swirling inside you.

As he led you under the warm spray of the shower, the water cascading over both of your bodies, you felt his hands gently rest on your hips. His touch was reassuring, not demanding, and he gave you space to settle into the moment at your own pace.

“You really okay?”, he asked, his voice barely audible over the sound of the water, his gaze steady as he searched your face.

You nodded, even though your heart was still racing. The water felt warm against your skin, and it seemed to wash away some of the tension that had built up in your muscles. You could feel Dean’s hand lightly trace up your back.

“Good”, he whispered, his thumb brushing over your skin in slow, soothing strokes. “Don´t worry. We got this". Dean’s arms tightened around you, pulling you gently against his chest, his lips pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

———————————

A/N: Ugh, guys, I'm so sorry. I hate this chapter. So much. This was one of my worst smuts and I'm so sorry because I was so excited about their "first time".. I have no idea what happened.. but I promise, it'll get better again.. I'm so fucking sorry *cryingintosleep*

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Taglist: @blackcherrywhiskey @baby19sthings @suckitands33 @spnfamily-j2 @lyarr24 @deans-baby-momma @reignsboy19 @kawaii-arfid-memes @mekkencspony @lovziy @artemys-ackles @fitxgrld @libby99hb @lovelyvirtualperson @a-lil-pr1ncess @nancymcl @the-last-ry @spndeanwinchesterlvr @hobby27 @themarebarroww @kr804573 @impala67rollingthroughtown @deans-queen @deadlymistletoe @selfdestructionandrhum @utyblyn @winchesterwild78 @jackles010378 @chirazsstuff @foxyjwls007 @smoothdogsgirl @woooonau @whimsyfinny @freyabear @laaadygisbooornex3 @quietgirll75 @perpetualabsurdity @ladykitana90 @fullbelieverheart @chainsawsangel @zaratahir @rebecca-hvnstn @maackiimoo @mayafatimakhan @ladysparkles78 @lachelledavies-winchester @kamisobsessed @kr804573 @c1gs-coffee @fyegyall @lilbloggs @emily-winchester @star-yawnznn @noell666 @averagedenjienjoyer0290

[sanemistar]

TAKE ME BACK

contents ★ ex!geto x fem!reader, angst to fluff, exes then back to lovers, slightly ooc geto (?), 1.2k+ wc. requested for my milestone event. author's message ★ trying a new layout for this one :3 i honestly love this color combo plus these are my favorite colors ever <333

event m.list ★ jjk m.list

seeing your ex boyfriend suguru for the first time after the breakup left you with mixed feelings of both familiarity and unfamiliarity. in terms of appearance, he hadn’t really changed. he looked pretty much the same way as you left him except his jet black hair had gotten longer. however, something about his aura had changed. you weren’t exactly sure what it was, you just had a feeling that it wasn’t the same as before, it was a tad bit softer, more gentle, and it made you feel as if you were being in the presence of a completely different person.

tension began to rise as awkward silence filled the atmosphere around you. it was excruciating and you had a hard time breathing, your heart clenched painfully. you were anxious and nervous.

yet despite all that, deep down inside your heart was a part of you that wanted to see suguru again, which grew bigger when it actually happened, you were quite happy to see him again after all that time.

if you were being completely honest, you had never been able to move on from him. so in other words, you still had feelings for him. and if he ever asked you to get back together, you would do it in a heartbeat without a single hint of hesitation.

you knew he wouldn’t though, and these were only wishful thoughts on your part. because you were pretty sure things between you and him had ended once and for good that day. showing no signs of a reconciliation.

“you haven’t changed at all.” your eyes widened slightly, it was as if he was reading your mind. was it some sort of telepathy or something? you didn’t know. his voice pierced through your ears, and it got you thinking that his tone hadn’t changed in the slightest. his voice was still as soft as it could be.

“you too, sug—geto.” you almost called him by the nickname you gave him back when he was your boyfriend, but quickly realized and changed to his last name. however, it didn’t feel right to you. it felt so forced, simply because his nickname used to roll off your lips ever so effortlessly, your tongue was so used to the sound of ‘sugu’ as it rolled out naturally. so when you forced it to say his last name instead, it came off weird.

suguru chuckled, a somewhat sad smile made its way onto his face upon hearing his last name rolling over your lips. the sound of it felt foreign to his ears as it reminded him that you two weren’t in the kind of relationship that allowed you to be on a nickname basis anymore. it hurt him, and it hurt him deep.

because truth be told, he too, still loved you. he tried his hardest to move on with his life, he went out with many girls, and he even went as far as to sleep with them in desperate attempts to forget all about you as if he’d never met you. but to his misfortune, his attempts never worked out. you were simply unforgettable to him, he could never erase you from his heart even if he wanted to.

he had left his heart with you on the day you called it quits, and couldn’t manage to get it back to give it to someone else.

you felt as if time was frozen, and you were stuck in yet another prolonged moment of silence. with just you and suguru together, no one else.

your mind was constantly telling you to run away, to not look back and leave him behind. that you were better off without him. but your emotions took control over your actions as your heart refused to let your body move, and you remained still in your spot.

“i can’t believe i let you go,” suguru spoke for the first time in what seemed like forever, breaking that thick layer of silence. “i was such a fool, wasn’t i?”

his regretful tone caught you by surprise, you couldn’t believe that it was possible for suguru to regret a decision he made. yet there he was, spilling out his regrets in front of you.

you slowly parted your lips open, thinking of what to say back to him.

“isn’t it a little too late for that?”

that wasn’t what you wanted to say, you wanted to say that you missed him, that you still loved him, that you wanted to get back together with him.

but your mind was too quick to react. you wished you could take back what you said, but it was too late for that.

“maybe… but if i’m being honest with myself, i still love you. actually, i don’t think i’ve ever stopped loving you once.” you watched suguru admit that he still had feelings for you in utter disbelief. it was the last thing you expected to hear from him. how he looked at you while he was talking and how earnest he sounded were enough proof that he was being sincere and genuine, he meant every single word he said.

suguru on the other hand, felt some sort of relief washing over him after finally letting his suppressed feelings for you out of his chest. he didn’t know if he would ever get another chance to see you again, so he was more than determined to win you back. it wasn’t guaranteed that you would allow him in your life once again, but he was still willing to give it his all.

“so please just,” he paused momentarily, taking a deep breath before proceeding. “take me back to you.” it sounded as if he was pleading, perhaps he was indeed pleading. he was just desperate at that point as this was his last resort. but he didn’t care if he seemed desperate, he was able to put his pride aside and show you his weak side. to suguru, if showing his vulnerability to you was the price he had to pay for him to get you back, then so be it.

“you idiot, of course i’d take you back. i wouldn’t want to be with anyone who wasn’t you, i will always love you.”

that sole sentence was enough to bring you to tears because of how moving it was. you immediately run towards him and throw yourself in his arms as you wrapped your arms tightly around him as you bury your face in the crook of his neck, holding onto him for dear life. his body slightly flinched under your touch, but quickly reacted as his strong arms pulled you closer to him. your bodies were so close that you could feel the warmth of one another.

“welcome back, sugu.” you said in between your sobbing, finally allowing his name roll off your lips ever so easily. he smiled upon hearing his nickname being said as he gave the top of your head a series of small, tender pecks.

“yeah, i’m back home.” he hummed softly against your ear.

suguru had been lost for so long, but at last he was finally back to where he belonged, to you, his home.

𝜗𝜚 taglist: @unriding @lxnarphase @sylusdoll @itachiiwrites @itoshivy @17020 @creamflix @luv-lies @suguru-getos ( @gothsuguru + @hiraethwrote special tags for you my loves since you asked me about it )

[itacats]

Butcher Shop Connection

FT: Simon x gn!reader

Warnings: DV, abuse, heat exhaustion, passing out, please let me know if anything else should be here!🙏

SUM: The sweltering heat in the butcher shop forces a long-hidden truth to surface as you collapse under the weight of your own defenses. Simon, ever watchful, catches you in your moment of vulnerability, uncovering the marks you’ve tried so hard to conceal. His shock gives way to quiet fury and unyielding care, his promise of support a lifeline in a sea of shame and fear.

A/N: This chapter is brought to you by confronting your demons in a poorly ventilated butcher shop! It’s a tough one—unmasking wounds is never easy, but sometimes it takes a little heat (and a collapse) to remind us we can’t shoulder everything alone. Simon’s reaction? Chef’s kiss. A balance of rage on your behalf and the kind of steady reassurance we all deserve.✨

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5

Part 4 - When the Mask Slips

The butcher shop is bathed in the lazy glow of the late afternoon sun, its golden rays filtering through the dusty windows to light up the space in soft amber hues. The air is thick and oppressive, the old fan overhead doing little more than stirring the heavy warmth. The scents of fresh pork and beef, normally comforting, seem almost stifling under the weight of the summer heat. You and Simon are tucked into the far corner of the shop, where the light barely reaches, your voice bouncing softly between the walls as the day drags on.

Simon, ever watchful, notices the sheen of sweat on your forehead as it glints under the dim shop lights. His sharp gaze narrow, and his lips pull into that familiar smirk—part teasing, part genuine concern. "Oi, mate, you don’t have to roast yourself alive in that jacket, you know," he quips, his Manchester accent turning the words into a melody of care disguised as humor.

You wave him off, your laugh light but strained. "I’m fine. Just a little warm, that’s all," you reply, wiping at your brow with the back of your hand. The jacket feels heavier than usual, but you can’t take it off. You won’t.

Simon studies you, his brow furrowing as the teasing gives way to something more serious. He leans forward, the golden light catching the faded tattoos peeking from under his rolled sleeves. "Come on, seriously. Take it off before you keel over. It’s like an oven in here."

You shake your head, clinging to your stubbornness. "Really, I’m fine," you insist, though your voice wavers just enough for Simon to notice. The heat feels like it’s crawling up your spine, making it harder to focus, but you force a smile, determined to convince him—and yourself—that you’re okay.

But you’re not. The world tilts unexpectedly, the golden light dimming as your vision swims. Simon’s voice becomes distant, muffled, as the floor rushes up to meet you. Then, nothing. Only darkness.

When your eyes flutter open, the fluorescent lights above you are stark and glaring, a sharp contrast to the warm glow of the butcher shop. The room feels cooler, calmer, but the weight in your chest is heavier than ever. Your senses are slow to return, but the first thing you register is a hand gripping yours, firm and reassuring. Simon. His face hovers above yours, his eyes wide with concern, his hair slightly mussed as though he’s run his hands through it too many times.

"Hey, hey, you’re awake," he says, his voice soft but insistent, tinged with worry. "You scared the hell out of me."

You try to sit up, but he gently presses you back down. "Not so fast, love. Just take it easy for a second."

His words are a blur, swirling around your hazy mind as you try to piece together what happened. The oppressive heat, the stubborn jacket, and then—nothing. Your heart sinks as the realization dawns on you. Your jacket. You tug at it instinctively, but Simon’s already a step ahead of you, his hands carefully easing it off your shoulders.

"Let me help you," he says, his tone firm but kind. You want to stop him, to argue, but your body feels too heavy, your mind too foggy to resist.

As the jacket slips away, the truth beneath it is laid bare. The bruises and cuts you’ve worked so hard to conceal come into view, their stark contrast against your skin telling a story you’ve fought to keep hidden. Some marks are fresh, angry and red, while others have faded into yellowed ghosts of pain long past. Your arms, your neck, even your collarbone—it’s all there, exposed under the unforgiving fluorescent light.

Simon freezes. His breath hitches audibly, and his eyes widen in shock. His gaze flickers across your skin, taking in the evidence of a life you’ve never spoken about, the weight you’ve carried alone. His hand trembles slightly as he reaches out, brushing against your cheek. The motion dislodges the carefully applied makeup you’d used to cover the worst of it, and he stares as the mask crumbles, piece by piece.

"Who did this to you?" he whispers, his voice low and rough, a mix of fury and heartbreak. His eyes meet yours, searching for answers, his expression a tangle of emotions—rage, confusion, sorrow, and something deeper, something tender and unyielding.

Tears prick at your eyes as you look away, shame and fear coiling tightly in your chest. You try to pull back, to shield yourself from his gaze, but Simon doesn’t let go. His grip on your hand tightens, not in anger but in reassurance, a silent promise that he won’t let you face this alone.

"You don’t have to hide from me," he says, his voice steady despite the storm in his eyes. "Not anymore."

Here's the current post schedule with some upcoming stories to look forward to!

[1425fivefive]

↻FLIP FLOP for Learned Behavior

Monaco afterparty toilets scene - Oscar's POV

would love to see a little sneak into what was going on in Oscar's head, the whole Charles thing, the sex, and especially after the kiss, poor guy has been dealing with Lando's mixed signals for months

Beloved anon, this took me ages. Have 2k of the Monaco toilets scene in Learned Behavior from Oscar's perspective:

Watching Lando from across the room—glaring at Charles, sucking angrily on the straw of his drink—Oscar can’t help but wonder about it. What Lando and Charles were to each other.

When Oscar had asked about it back in Miami, Lando had gotten all weird and cagey, done this awkward, forced laugh and insisted that Charles was straight. But Oscar’s seen the way Charles looks at men. Noticed the way Charles looks at Lando, sometimes, when Lando’s not looking. Something hungry in his gaze.

A part of Oscar doesn’t really want to know all the details. The thing with Lando feels delicate, breakable. Like if Oscar pushes too hard it might shatter, Lando looking at him with watery, hurt eyes, even as he’s telling Oscar to fuck off.

And, like—things are fine the way they are, probably. Good, even. Oscar reckons he’d put up with a lot of shit if it meant he could still have Lando fuck him every weekend, call him a good boy, get off on telling him not to come. Trace a thumb over his lip, pull his hair, tell him how pretty he looks getting fucked.

Oscar surreptitiously tries to adjust his shorts. It’s just—he hasn’t come since Imola and he’s fucking aching for it, keeps dreaming about how good Lando feels inside of him and waking up hard, dripping onto the sheets. Sometimes he thinks about taking a picture of himself, hard and swollen and wet, sending it to Lando, begging Lando to let him come, secretly hoping Lando will tell him no.

Watching Lando staring at Charles, still, Oscar wants to beg Lando to pay attention to him. To forget about whatever bullshit happened with Charles and drag Oscar back to his flat, take him apart until he’s crying, finally let him come. 

But Lando can’t seem to tear his eyes away from Charles and before Oscar can really think he’s walking across the room, sliding into the pocket of space beside Lando.

Lando glances over at him and Oscar sees the way his cheeks flush, eyes going dark. It’s gratifying, at least, to know Lando’s attracted to him. But Lando goes right back to staring at Charles and it stings, being dismissed so easily.

Oscar tries to keep the annoyance out of his voice as he asks, “What’s got you all pissed off?”

“Nothing,” Lando says, still openly glaring at Charles.

Oscar glances over at where Charles is standing in a crowd of people, eyes bright, laughing and smiling. “You could at least pretend to be happy for him,” Oscar says.

Lando’s brows unfurrow slightly and he finally manages to tear his gaze away from Charles, looking over at Oscar.

It feels like a win, however small. “There you go,” Oscar says softly.

He thinks, for a moment, about letting it go. Asking Lando to take him home. 

But Lando’s been ignoring him for most of the night, and Oscar can’t resist saying, “I’ve never understood why you two don’t get along. Charles is nice—”

Lando snorts. “Charles isn’t nice. He’s polite, yeah, but he’s not nice.”

Oscar wants to say, Of course you’d think that, you two have some weird, fucked-up psychosexual thing going on that’s honestly getting extremely fucking annoying.

Instead, Oscar tries to make a joke of it. “Dunno, mate, the whole adoption thing—”

“Yeah, we’ve heard,” Lando snaps, letting out a mean little laugh. “No one’s been able to shut up about it, honestly.”

Oscar can see the flash of regret on Lando’s face the moment he’s said it, the look Lando always gets when he knows he’s crossed a line. Normally Oscar forgives him. Knows Lando says shit without thinking and doesn’t mean most of it. Especially when it comes to Charles.

But Oscar’s sympathy can only go so far when Lando won’t fucking talk about any of it. Won’t even admit the basic fact that something happened between them.

“Right, well.” Oscar knocks back the rest of his drink, setting the empty glass on the bar. “I’m gonna leave you to it.”

Lando looks like he’s about to say something, but Oscar’s not really in the mood to hear it. He turns to go, accidentally catching Charles’s eye in the process.

“Oscar!” Charles calls, waving him over.

Oscar knows how it’ll look to Lando if he goes over to Charles, but he sort of wants to make Lando jealous. After Lando’s been, frankly, a bit of a cunt all weekend, even after Oscar finished P2. Lando hasn’t even congratulated him on the podium.

So Oscar goes over to Charles, lets Charles pull him into a hug, lets Charles crow about their father-son 1-2, lets Charles grip the back of his neck and smile at him. It’s nice to have someone care, but Oscar can’t help but wish it was Lando touching him like this, smiling at him and reliving the race.

But before Oscar can really say anything, he hears Lando’s voice saying, “Mind if I borrow Osc here for a sec?”

—

Lando drags him to a toilet and he’s on him as soon as the door’s locked, backing Oscar up against the sink, fingers digging into Oscar’s hips, mouth sucking at Oscar’s neck.

“Fuck, Lando,” Oscar moans, too loud by half for a bathroom in the middle of a club. But he can’t bring himself to care, too relieved at the feeling of Lando’s hands on him, Lando’s thigh slotting between his legs.

Oscar grinds down on the hard muscle of Lando’s thigh, whimpering at how good it feels to finally get some friction on his cock. 

It feels like he loses any capacity for rational thought the moment Lando gets his hands on him, the second Lando starts telling him how good he’s being, gripping his arse with his massive fucking hands. 

“You sound so fucking good,” Lando says, breath warm against Oscar’s neck, sending little sparks down Oscar’s spine. “So fucking hot, Osc.”

Oscar can’t help but whine, grinding harder against Lando.

“Fuck,” Lando groans. He slides a hand down, gripping Oscar through his trousers.

Oscar can feel his briefs get wetter, cock straining against the zipper, the friction unbearable as Lando rubs at Oscar through the fabric.

It’s insane how Lando’s hand practically covers him completely. How Lando barely has to move when he strokes Oscar’s cock, his hand so big it makes Oscar’s cock look tiny, only the flushed head peeking out of Lando’s fist. Lando calls it cute, sometimes, tells Oscar what a pretty cock he has, small and perfect. It makes Oscar feel insane, makes him want to come all over Lando’s fingers and lick it off, beg Lando to fuck him, ask Lando to never let him come again.

“Have you come since Imola?” Lando asks.

Oscar shakes his head, whimpers. “No, I—you didn’t say I could.”

“Jesus, Osc.” Lando tips his head against Oscar’s shoulder, still rubbing Oscar through his trousers.

At this rate, Oscar’s scared of coming in his clothes. But he wants it so bad, feels like he’ll lose his mind if Lando doesn’t get him off. He’d hold it, if Lando said he had to, but he feels tears pricking his eyes at the thought of not being allowed to come tonight. He just—he needs it so fucking bad. Needs Lando to make him come, needs Lando to look at him like Oscar’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen, needs Lando murmuring praise while Oscar spills over his fingers.

Lando seems to be able to tell how desperate Oscar is, because he says, “You need to come, yeah?”

Oscar nods, frantic.

Lando’s already undoing the button of his trousers, tugging them and his briefs down his thighs, freeing his cock to the cold air of the toilet.

But Lando’s palm is warm when he wraps it around Oscar and Oscar can’t help the moan that escapes him, eyes sliding shut in relief, head tipping back against the mirror.

Fingers slide through Oscar’s hair, pulling, hard, and Oscar whines, eyes flying open.

“You have to look at me,” Lando breathes, stroking Oscar firm and fast. “You have to look at me if you want me to let you come.”

Oscar forces himself to look at Lando, forces himself to watch as Lando drags him closer and closer to the edge. Lando’s spouting nonsense and Oscar can’t help himself, whining and crying out as Lando rubs a thumb over the head of his cock, brings his hand up to Oscar’s mouth and tells Oscar to spit, before wrapping his hand around Oscar again, everything slick and hot and wet.

Oscar feels like he’s seconds away from coming, his abs aching from the efforts of holding back, thighs trembling.

But Lando looks like he’s enjoying it, like he likes seeing Oscar strung out and desperate. When Oscar meets Lando’s eyes, Lando’s pupils are so wide his eyes are practically black.

Oscar realizes, then, that he might never be able to walk away from this. That he’d let Lando behave as badly as he wants, treat him like shit, never talk about anything, as long as it meant Lando would touch him like this. Firm and confident and in control, looking like it’s a fucking privilege to get to see Oscar flushed and trembling with need.

It’s never—Oscar’s always felt fucking weird about how much it turns him on to be ordered around a bit, told not to come, fucked hard and rough. With his ex he just—shoved it to the back of his mind. Watched porn and otherwise tried to ignore it. There’d been a few blokes throughout the years, but—they all acted like they were doing him a favor. It wasn’t like Lando, who stares at him in awe, like he can’t believe what he’s seeing when Oscar begs for it, whimpers and whines and lets Lando tell him not to come.

Lando’s still stroking him steadily, asking Oscar all sorts of questions—whether he likes it, whether Charles would treat him like this. Oscar barely knows what he’s saying, just knows that he’ll do whatever Lando wants, say yes to anything, as long as Lando will make him come at the end of it.

“What’re you good for?” Lando breathes, eyes flitting over Oscar’s face, hand steadily stroking over Oscar’s cock.

Oscar takes a shaky breath, tries to figure out what the right answer is. He can’t work it out and, ultimately, he simply tells the truth. “Being used.”

Lando’s brain seems to short-circuit at that. He bites at Oscar’s shoulder, grip tightening around Oscar’s cock.

Lando’s hands are pulling at Oscar’s hair and his cock and he feels caught in Lando’s firm grip, laid out on display for him, here to be used however Lando wants. It shouldn’t feel as good as it does.

“By who, Osc?” Lando murmurs, staring at Oscar’s mouth like he’s thinking about kissing him.

Please, Oscar thinks. Please fucking kiss me, I’ll do anything you want.

And Oscar’s already telling the truth, so he says, “You.”

“Come,” Lando breathes, fingers pulling at Oscar’s hair, eyes locked on Oscar’s. “Come, baby, please.”

Oscar’s shaking as he comes, jerking forward as his cock spills messily over Lando’s fingers. It almost hurts, coming after being denied for so long but Oscar likes the edge of pain, likes how it feels almost sharp. Like he can’t do anything other than feel.

Oscar lets out a shocked gasp when Lando darts forward, pressing his lips to Oscar’s.

Lando’s lips feel incredible, warm and soft, swallowing Oscar’s desperate sounds. Oscar wants to fist his hands into Lando’s hair, pull him closer, keep him there. But his orgasm’s still rolling through him and he barely feels in control of his limbs, too overwhelmed by pleasure and the shock of being kissed to do anything other than moan into Lando’s mouth.

But Lando doesn’t seem to care, whining and licking into Oscar’s mouth, a shock of heat as their tongues slide against each other. 

Oscar doesn’t want to stop coming, wants to keep coming in Lando’s tight grip, whimpering against Lando’s mouth, surrounded by Lando’s heat and slightly-sweet scent.

But soon enough he’s slumping back against the mirror and Lando’s blinking at him with a dazed expression.

Oscar’s about to ask Lando to kiss him again when Lando’s stumbling back, grabbing paper towels and wiping Oscar’s come off his hand, tossing them in the bin and banging his way out the door.

Oscar lets out a shocked laugh, staring blankly at the closed door. “Cool,” Oscar mutters, grabbing a paper towel to clean himself up. “Really fucking cool.”

It’s classic fucking Lando. Acting like Oscar’s the hottest thing in the world, like Lando will die if he doesn’t get to fuck him, then going back to being weird and distant the moment it’s ended.

This would all be a whole lot fucking easier, Oscar thinks, if he could stop convincing himself that Lando actually feels something.

[spotsandsocks]

Teasey Tuesday/WIP Wednesday 🛏️

Tagged by @elvensorceress (so excited to see you on the dash again 😘) @tizniz @bekkachaos @jesuisici33 loved all your snippets 💜💜💜

Only one bed fic will be shared at the weekend, I think it’s called A place for you, next to me. It’s ended up as M/E rated and 23k. Here’s a little tease.

The noise warns him and as if conjured by his thoughts, the bathroom door clicks and a cloud of steam drifts out, a prelude to the appearance of Buck, wrapped in a towel and nothing else.

It’s the alcohol in his veins that makes the blood heat and rush around his body to flood his cheeks, leaving Eddie flustered in a sudden wave of heat and a pooling of something he’d won’t name low in his stomach.

Buck looks good. Far too good and right now Eddie’s more than a little unsure if he can sleep next to Buck tonight after all.

Unaware of the inner turmoil Eddie’s dealing with, Buck's expression flits from surprised to embarrassed, at this quite predictable meeting in the hotel room they’re sharing. The blush creeping down his face and lower is like a sunrise in reverse and Eddie can’t look at it.All the jumbled up emotions get more jumbled when Eddie’s forced to endure a nose wrinkle that makes his heart jump. The poor battered thing in his chest must need a break, it’s been quite the day!

And then a new wip but I’ve actually just finished is this random thing I just decided to write yesterday. Eddie finally tells Buck about what happened between him and Kim. I wrote it because I wanted Buck to know what Eddie went through, I really do think someone should know! It’s called Give me a moment it’s 2.6k and it’ll be here pretty soon.

Lifting himself up off the floor to rest on one elbow Buck studies the profile of the calm still face of his best friend. It’s the face of a man who’s resigned himself to his fate. Eddie’s flat on his back, eyes closed lying in the remnants of a life he’d tried to build for himself and his son. A life that collapsed around him after one bad decision..

“When she left I thought it was over. I was relieved, thought it would be ok but then she came back.”

If Eddie was looking at him he’d see the frown land on Buck’s face at that brand new piece of information. What does Eddie mean she came back?

Next to him, the facade falters and Eddie’s face crumples, his feelings escaping. Buck knows It’s just a weak echo of the distress he must have felt that day, made smaller, quieter by Eddie’s rigid self control.

“She came back Buck and she looked…”

It sounds like a confession, Eddie’s breath shakes on the way out and Buck’s heart beats faster. There’s something bad coming. Something he doesn’t know about.

I shall inflict tagging for this and the actual post later on my usual victims but if you want out or even to get tagged for either of these lmk!

@actualalligator @beyourownanchor6 @buddiediaz118 @becausebuckley @bi-buckrights @caroandcats @daffi-990 @dangerpronebuddie @dr-shortsighted-owl @darkrose6578 @diazsdimples @doctorkinney @disasterbuck @diazheartsbuckley @eddiebabygirldiaz @exhuastedpigeon @fiona-fififi @giddyupbuck @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus @inell @lonelychicago @monsterrae1 @repressedqueen @ronordmann @rainbow-nerdss @spaceprincessem @stagefoureddiediaz @steadfastsaturnsrings @shipperqueen6 @thekristen999 @thelikesofus @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @theotherbuckley @singitforthegirls @weewootruck @wildlife4life @bucks-daddy-issues @buffaluff @kejfeblintz

[spoilmesweetieforficssake]

Hi I really love your writing! Not sure if you are taking any prompts, no worries if not!

I was wondering if you could something with Melissa x reader similar to Janine and Gregory where they both work at the school and maybe the reader is dating someone but they have a moment like the club scene or PECSA weekend.

Hope you're having a good day lovely human!

Not dead! Nor have I given up on writing or filling the prompts I still have to fill! But a weird thing did happen - I went to a hypnotist show with friends thinking I wouldn't be affected... Long story short, I remember the first fifteen minutes of the show. Apparently, I was in the show for the rest of it. So that was a thing. But that's not the weird thing. The hypnotist said that a side effect of his hypnosis is often a better ability to focus, a quieter mind and less anxious thoughts. I have to hand it to the man, his words seem to be true. An unexpected side effect of this for me though is that it turns out the noise and chatter in my mind actually helps me write my fics. Now it's all a bit quiet in there and it's been hard to get the words out. But, that doesn't mean I don't still love writing - so we're pushing through.

I do have a confession though - this story has two prompts noted at the top of it in my drafts and although I can't find any evidence that I've posted it under either prompt, if I have already posted this and somehow have missed it, please let me know and I shall take the duplicate down.

Anyway, enough about me. Enough rambling. I hope you enjoy!

*~*

It would be easier if she wasn’t nice to you. 

If she wasn’t nice to you, she could just be the untouchable, hot as hell, fiery goddess you admired from afar. 

But no.  She let you sit with her and Barb at lunch.  She even brought you lunch after a few conversations had strayed into discussing cooking and favourite recipes during said lunch breaks.

How were you meant to get over your ridiculous crush when she actually gave you the time of day?  When she smiled like that?  When her whole face lit up and she gestured so animatedly when she got caught up talking about something?

And as if that wasn’t enough, how were you ever meant to recover after seeing her so soft with her students?  Going out of her way to open up to them and help them. 

It was ridiculous, though.  You knew that.  What good was ever going to come of it? 

Kid.  That’s what she calls you.  It’s a constant reminder of the age gap between you.  Of the chasm that you feel you can’t even begin to cross when she sees you as some eager little kid.

You’ve always had a thing for older women.  From those early, confused days of watching your on-screen idols, to realising you didn’t want to be them.  You didn’t want to be friends with them.  You just wanted them. 

You want one in particular, but as you look across at her, her red hair ablaze in the sunshine, you force those feelings down once more.  If friendship is what she’s offering you’re not about to beat her with that olive branch.  You’ll deem yourself lucky and move on.

Even if she has ruined you for anyone else. 

*~*

“You know,” drawled Barbara.  “It’s beginning to become a habit.”

“What is?” asked Melissa, turning to face her friend with a frown. 

“Staring at her,” said the older woman, eyebrow raised. 

The red head scoffs.  “As if.  I don’t know what you think you’re seeing but that ain’t it.”

*

It was all said in jest to begin with.  Gentle teasing about a few wayward glances.  That was until Barb started to see her best friend be genuinely nice to you. 

To begin with, she tolerated you.  You weren’t one of the eager little puppies she so often saw when it came to younger new hires.  That much was evident from the start.  You were an old soul.  You carried a different energy. 

One that Melissa apparently appreciated just as much as the view.  Barb stood beside her the red head as they watched over the kids leaving school, keeping an eye on the them as they left for the day, making their way to busses, rides or parents.  Or rather, Barb was keeping watch over the children.  A quick glance at Melissa confirmed that her attention was directed at you where you stood a little way off, chatting happily with a young girl about the book she was waving at you as she waited for her mother to collect her. 

“Girl…”

“Don’t,” sighed Melissa, crossing her arms across her chest. 

That took Barb by surprise.  She had expected the red head to deny it.  “You mean?”

“It’s stupid.  She’s some pretty young thing and I’m…older than I care to admit.”

Turning to look at her friend, her expression sad, the older woman reached out and placed a comforting hand on the other woman’s arm.  “And?  What’s it called?  A Spring, Winter romance?”

“May, December,” corrected Melissa automatically.  “But same thing.”

“Exactly” said Barb.  “There’s a name for it and everything.  It’s a thing.”

“It’s not a thing,” huffed the red head, turning on her heel and heading back into the building.  “It’s stupid and I’ll get over it, just like I do everything else in my life.”

*~*

You’re not sure you’re entirely on board for PECSA. 

Out of school, things are different.  Lines are blurred and you’re seeing a whole different side to your colleagues.  You’re not sure if it’s liberating or terrifying.  And that’s before you add in the factor of the other teachers who have also been set free from the constraints of the classroom and are now loose in the wild.

You’re sure your confusion must show on your face, particularly when at the end of one of the breakout sessions you find yourself caught up in conversation with a striking older woman who teaches at another school across town.

You don’t see Melissa at first, who watches the interaction with interest.  She’s not used to seeing you outside of school, and it takes her back to realise that the woman is flirting with you.  Openly and blatantly flirting with you.  She’s touching your arm, leaning into you.  Smiling and laughing. 

In return, you know you’re blushing something terrible, especially when the woman hands you a page from her notebook with her number scrawled across it.  Watching the woman walk away, throwing you a smile over her shoulder to you, you finally see the red head standing in the doorway where she said she’d meet you so you could head for lunch together.

“She not a bit old for you?” she asks as you approach, your blush still heating your cheeks.

You frown.  “If she looks like that and thinks I’m hot enough to give me her number, they’re the numbers I’m interested in,” you reply, heading in the direction of the lunch buffet. 

Barb overhears the comment, unable not to smirk at your flash of sass.  “Jealous?” she asks, leaning into the red head’s space. 

“Of what?” barks Melissa, crossing her arms across her chest as she watches you go.  “Oh leave off!” she snarks at the older woman’s raised eyebrow.

*

How the day has gone from serious talks and breakout sessions to cocktails by the pool you’re still trying to wrap your head around.  Adjusting your cover up, you head around the side of the pool, heading for the bar.  You hope the day starts to feel a little bit more normal with a drink in your hand. 

Gazing out over the water, you catch sight of Melissa.  Or rather, you catch sight of a lot more of Melissa than you’ve ever had the privilege of seeing before.  Not looking where you’re walking as your eyes drink in the magnificent view there’s no saving yourself as you step forward and your foot finds water instead of concrete.

“Is that?” Melissa asks incredulously at the dramatic splash that comes from the other side of the pool.  She’s up out of her lounger before Barb can comment and the older teacher can only watch on in amusement as the red head storms off in your direction. 

You pull yourself out of the pool, allowing yourself to perch on the edge as you try your best to ignore the chuckles of those around you who have noticed your mishap. 

“What the fuck happened?”

You look up and of course Melissa is there.  Right there, lit up in the sun like an angel, red hair haloed around her head.  It takes a moment to realise that her eyes are roving over you, and not just your face.  You glance down where your cover up now clings to your skin, almost see through. 

Looking up you see Melissa blink rapidly a few times before offering you a hand.  You reach for her, smiling as she helps pull you to your feet.  “Thanks,” you smile sheepishly.  “I guess I should go change.”

“It’s a pool, you’re allowed to be a little wet,” the red head smirks back at you.  “Besides, we’re this close to the bar now, be rude not to take advantage.”

*

Melissa appears at the bar next to you with a huff, grumbling under her breath.  Her attention is focused on trying to get the attention of the barman.  Mumbling though she is, she’s speaking just loud enough for you to make out what she was saying. 

“He was an ass,” you tell her, watching as her head whipped around, finally realising you were there. 

“What?” she asks with a frown, already tipsy. 

“Your ex,” you enlighten her.  You may not have heard the comment that led to her current dip in mood, or ever have met the man, but you know enough.

Her frown only deepens.  “You don’t know a thing about him.”

“I know he didn’t appreciate what he had and left you,” you offer, ordering a drink when the barman appears in front of you, before turning back to Melissa to ask what she wants.  You find her looking at you oddly, her expression unreadable.  She quickly snaps out of it and barks and order at the bartender.

*

Barb has had more than a few drinks, it would appear as she flags you down to sit with her as you pass her table. 

“Sit, sit,” she smiles, trying to reach for your arm and push the chair out next to her at the same time in an uncoordinated matter. 

Catching her hands, you still her as you slide into the seat beside her to placate her.  Her gaze is a little unfocused, her words edging towards slurred.  You hadn’t quite realised how drunk she was, but then again, looking around the room, it would have been more of a surprise for her to be sober. 

“Don’t call that woman,” she tells you, leaning into your space.

“What woman?” you frown.

“That woman who gave you her number,” says Barbara like it’s obvious. 

You try not to think about the fact that for Barb to know, Melissa must have mentioned it.  That it’s been on her mind enough to mention it to the older woman.  “Why not?”

“She wouldn’t like it.”

“She gave me her number,” you point out.  “I don’t think she would mind.”

Barb shakes her head.  “Not her.  Her,” she says, nodding across the room to where Melissa is standing. 

You cross your arms across your chest.  “What has Melissa got to do with anything?”

Barb raises a single eyebrow, the action still smooth and effective despite her drunkenness and it makes you blush. 

Averting your gaze, you shake your head.  “It doesn’t matter what I feel,” you sigh.  “She’s not…She thinks I’m some stupid kid.”

What you don’t see, is Melissa standing close enough behind your chair to catch your words.

*

Somewhere after speaking to Barb you decide that trying to be the sober parent of your little Abbott family just isn’t working.  You’ve lost track of most of them, and honestly, you’ve given up trying to find them.  They’re all adults and can fend for themselves.

You still have eyes on Barb and Melissa though, the former dancing up a storm and the latter apparently winning an ill-advised drinking competition. 

Not that you can judge, of course.  You know you’ve drunk more than you should, feeling pleasantly buzzed from your seat in the corner of the bar.  You should call it a night before you do something you’ll regret, like call the woman Barbara told you not to.  Sober, you wouldn’t.  Drunk, you’re flattered enough and wouldn’t say no to the company. 

With a sigh, you push yourself up out of your seat and head towards the elevators.  Pushing the button, you watch the numbers light up as the lift descends.  You squeak in surprise when a strong pair of hands land on your hips, turning you around as a plump pair of lips meet you own.

“I don’t think you’re some stupid kid.”

You blink slowly a few times, taking in the woman before you.  Melissa.  Melissa Schemmenti just kissed you.  You shouldn’t, but you don’t have it in you to deny yourself the pleasure of feeling her lips against yours once more.  You kiss her back with enthusiasm, not protesting when she backs you into the elevator as it opens and moaning as your back hits the wall of the small metallic box, the weight of Melissa pressed against you. 

You’ve always admired her curves.  Pressed against you they’re a dream. 

The clearing of a throat far to close snaps you out of your living dream and you feel Melissa take a step back, biting her lip as she guiltily throws a glance over her shoulder, registering Barb standing in the elevator, her back to you both as if she hasn’t just witnessed exactly what you were both doing. 

Standing close, you grin at the devious smirk being aimed your way by a certain red head.  There’s a dangerous glimmer of mischief in her eyes.  Smudged lipstick and mussed hair from where you hands couldn’t help but run thought it complete the look.  The woman is a work of art. 

You look up as the elevator doors chime open, realising this is your floor.  Stepping forward, you slip past Barb, who merely raises an eyebrow.  You throw a look back at Melissa, who sways forward as though to follow you, before hesitating. 

The doors slide shut, and honestly, it’s probably for the best.

You miss the dark chuckle Barb lets out as the lift begins to ascend once more.

“What you laughing at?” asks Melissa, scowling.  She’s annoyed with herself for hesitating.  She knows what she wants, and she just let it walk out of the elevator.

“You two think you’re subtle?” the older woman drawls.  “She has more of your lipstick on than you do.”

*

If PECSA was party central the night before, it was hangover central the morning after.  You’re sitting outside on the low wall, sunglasses firmly in place, your phone in one hand and a bottle of water in the other as you take in the cool morning air. 

“You regret what happened last night?”

You turn to see Melissa, similarly attired.  “What?”

She comes to stand beside the wall on which you’re sat, her gaze wandering anywhere but you as she speaks.  “I came to your room last night.  You didn’t answer.”

“I didn’t hear you,” you admit, watching as her head whips around.  “Too busy throwing up everything I ever drank.”  You feel the blush dusting your cheeks, but continue.  This feels too important to let a little embarrassment stop you.  You take off your sunglasses so she can see your face as you speak,  “I have many regrets about my choices last night, but what happened in the elevator isn’t one of them.”

A slow smile spreads across her lips as she shifts to take a seat next to you.  She slips her own sunglasses off, finally letting you see her eyes.  “Good to know,” she murmurs.  “Me neither.”

You can’t help but smile at that.  You notice her gaze wandering and realise she staring at the phone still clutched in your hand. 

“You planning on using that number you were so interested in yesterday?”

“Honestly?” you ask, seeing the uncertainty in her face as she nods regardless.  “That woman was hot, and while I was more than a little flattered she gave me her number…she isn’t a patch on you.”

Pale cheeks blush adorably pink at your words.  Melissa isn’t used to hearing things like what from you.

“Don’t look so surprised,” you scoff, nudging her shoulder.  “You’ve seen yourself in a mirror, right?  And you needn’t think I go falling in pools over every pretty woman I see.”

“I really distracted you that badly, huh?” she asks, a little of her confidence returning.

You bump her shoulder with yours once more.  “Shut up.”

A gentle hand moves to cup your cheek, turning you to face her as Melissa presses a gentle kiss to your lips.  “For the record,” she says quietly.  “I don’t think you’re some stupid little kid.  I think you’re beautiful.”

You take in a shuddering breath.  It all feels too good to be true.  “What happens at PECSA stays at PECSA?” you ask sadly.

“I’ve never been one for playing by the rules,” she smirks back at you, pressing another quick kiss to your lips before pushing herself to her feet and offering a hand to you.  “Come on, we gotta go find Barb.  Reunite her with her shoes, sobriety and sanity.”

You take the hand being offered like a lifeline, grinning as Melissa starts walking, swinging your joined hands between you.  It’s only as you pass through the front doors to the building that her words even register.  “Wait?  Her shoes?”

[writing-for-life]

@embervoices , I had to put this in a reblog because it got too long for the comments (brevity is not my forte 🤣):

Yes yes yes! I’ve got several metas that riff on exactly the points you mention, also Desire not being the straightforward villain so many think they are; you’ll find them all in my meta-library:

(please don’t feel you need to read them though)

Or rather: If we look at the Endless conceptually instead of seeing them solely as, well, “not human but still people”, we get to a deeper meaning that will otherwise stay inaccessible. It starts with *when* Desire and Despair first enter the scene in the main run (right after The Sound of her Wings, when Dream… well, hears the sound of her wings 😩). The “big sister sets his head straight” is a valid surface reading of #8, but it’s also just that—a surface reading.

You can’t love and be close to Death if you don’t feel drawn to death.

Death can’t advise you without also being her function. She *is* death. The literal thing. And I’ll never tire of saying it, because every time he listens to her in the whole run, he gets closer to her in the real sense.

And another unpopular opinion: When NG coined the pithy phrase that one must change or die, and that Morpheus made his choice, he didn’t mean he just chose death (even if a felt 80% of people seem to read it like that, but that might just be what I see on my feed—other people’s mileage might vary). They were never to be read as mutually exclusive—it was always both. Because metaphorically, something needs to die to change—a viewpoint, a habit, a set of beliefs. And yet, it doesn’t entirely disappear. That’s exactly what happens—omnia mutantur, nihil interit. And Dream is the Prince of Stories—of course he relates to everything via a narrative *he* spins (he can deny it all he wants).

And yes, you can absolutely desire death—it’s so poignant that we meet Desire and Despair for the first time in #10, and also that they show as the twins on this occasion.

And then there is Brief Lives, when Desire (which is *also* a life force, and that’s important contextually in several arcs) actively pulls out of the scheming in more than one way: Dream even says, verbatim, he has no desire to “do this”, when he usually avoids even the word like the plague (and if he hadn’t done it, the ending might have been different, but that would have also been totally past the point). But the influence of his other siblings, or rather how he relates to them, is far more devastating in that moment. And while they all try as siblings, they are also their function. And in their function, they are NOT helping—again, it’s so obvious if we just look at when and how they show up for him:

Delirium made him go on the trip to find Destruction, Death told him off and made him change his mind when he had already abandoned the plan, Destiny advised him but also didn’t because he is what *must* happen either way, and Despair only showed up for him after Orpheus’ death.

Funnily enough, Desire, despite all their scheming, was always the only one who saved his ass (maybe not always for the most unselfish reasons, but they did it anyway). Not just once. Several times over. Overture is all I’ll say (during the actual events of Overture, but also in the flashback to Alianora’s story).

It’s all incredibly clever and heartbreaking at once…

”But He Loved, He Should Have Been Forgiven”

About Free Will, Responsibility and Agency: Lucifer and Dream as Foils

Did I finally jump on the Lucidream/Dreamingstar bandwagon? No, don’t panic (or be eternally disappointed 🤣), because that quote is actually from “Murder Mysteries”, a short story that also exists in comic form (drawn by P. Craig Russell). And while it isn’t officially part of the Sandman Universe (or even DC), I always saw it as somewhat of a blueprint of how NG (re)imagined Lucifer’s Fall. There is enough in Lucifer’s characterisation in the Sandman that makes it quite plausible as a sort of backstory, especially since it was written when the Sandman was still in full swing. But more about that later…

I’ve long wanted to write a meta about Lucifer and Dream as narrative foils, and since I’ve finally started clearing out my drafts, this was a good one to do right now because we are currently discussing “A Hope in Hell” in our community (join us!). Although I have to admit that this one is rather about what transpires when Lucifer decides to abandon their realm in Season of Mists...

When Lucifer learns of Dream's impending return to Hell to finally release Nada, it solidifies their own resolve to leave (I use they/them pronouns because of the show although comics!Lucifer is male presenting apart from the plumbing and also referred to as he/him). By the time Dream arrives, Hell is nearly deserted, with Lucifer basically expelling its last inhabitants. Lucifer tells Dream they rebelled long ago, and that they are not willing to “pay for that one action” anymore. And the most profound truth they share with Dream is the nature of ultimate freedom—the freedom to leave. This is also brought up many issues later, when Lucifer says to Delirium, "I told him, you know. I told him years ago… I told him that I owed him much for having given me the impetus to go. I told him there was always freedom, even the ultimate freedom. The freedom to leave. You don't have to stay anywhere forever.”

And that’s just… ouch. Not just because it so clearly shows that Morpheus also could have left had he just chosen to (then again, he wouldn’t be Morpheus if he had, and even more “then again”: he did in certain ways), but also because we generally see Lucifer as an antagonistic force. But here, they express something akin to gratefulness. And maybe even a hint of regret that Morpheus didn’t also choose the same way. They feel almost sorry for him (my guess is they actually do, and I can never forget their face at The Wake). But what do you do if even freedom feels like a cage?

All of this ties in neatly with the crucial truth about Hell Lucifer reveals: People are there because they choose to be (and that Hell doesn’t need to be a physical place: We can make our own—any place, even in our own minds).

...this is where you wanted to be.

Lucifer explains to Dream:

"Why do they blame me for all their little failings? They use my name as if I spend my entire day sitting on their shoulders, forcing them to commit acts they would otherwise find repulsive. 'The Devil made me do it.' I have never made one of them do anything. Never. They live their own tiny lives. I do not live their lives for them.”

He continues, “and then they die, and they come here (having transgressed against what they believed to be right), and expect us to fulfil their desire for pain and retribution. I don't make them come here. They talk of me going around and buying souls, like a fishwife come market day, never stopping to ask themselves why. I need no souls. And how can anyone own a soul? No.

They belong to themselves… they just hate to face up to it.”

Which brings me to one of the most important messages (one of many) of the Sandman: People must take responsibility (and in this particular case not only for their lives but also for their afterlives, which is also a recurring theme). Each person's soul is their own, and no one can take that away. Paradoxically (or maybe not), as Lucifer abandons their own responsibilities, they urge people to take responsibility for themselves: You can drop said responsibilities, with all that entails, as long as you also take responsibility for the fallout.

So what about the wider question of free will then?

Let’s look at Lucifer's rebellion and fall for that, because both raise a lot of questions. Dream tells Lucifer that he remembers them as passionate, and Lucifer responds, “I cared about so many things. I suppose that was why everything began to go wrong. You know… I still wonder how much of it He planned. How much of it He knew in advance. I thought I was rebelling. I thought I was defying His rule. No… I was merely fulfilling another tiny segment of His great and powerful plan.”

And this brings me right to NG’s short story “Murder Mysteries”, which isn’t really officially part of the Sandman Universe, but also… it totally is 🤣. In it, pre-fall Lucifer witnesses the destruction of an angel who killed another angel they loved. Raguel (the angel formerly tasked with said destruction who now walks on earth, coincidentally mentioned in the panel above as one who might also have rebelled) narrates, “‘That was not right. That was not just.’ Perhaps Saraquael was the first to love, but Lucifer was the first to shed tears."

Later, it is revealed that God orchestrated this situation to push Lucifer towards rebellion. God needed an adversary to run Hell and says, “Lucifer must brood on the unfairness of Saraquael's destruction. And that—amongst other things—will precipitate him into certain actions. Poor sweet Lucifer. His way will be the hardest of all my children; for there is a part he must play in the drama that is to come, and it is a grand role.”

Lucifer was basically set up by God, and this somewhat revisionist interpretation of their rebellion and fall opens up larger questions about free will, agency and destiny.

Because although Lucifer's actions were influenced by God, they still carried them out and are therefore fully responsible for them. And by choosing to abandon Hell, Lucifer was taking responsibility for their own life. They faced a choice: remain in Hell as a shadow of their former self, or move on and make peace.

This fragile peace is illustrated at the end of "A Season of Mists," when Lucifer and an old man are conversing on a beach. The old man, despite having lost everyone he loved, remarks that any God who can create such beautiful sunsets couldn't be all bad. After the man leaves, Lucifer admits (basically to God), “He's got a point. The sunsets are bloody marvelous, you old bastard. Satisfied?”

And in a way, even Lucifer comes to terms with their past once they take responsibility for it.

In a way, this mirrors Dream’s arc to a tee. One could certainly argue that he was set on his path by forces outwith his control: Whatever had to happen in cosmic terms was always bigger than Dream. The Fates also held a grudge against him and Orpheus, for more than one reason. Orpheus did make the Furies cry, and they never forgave him for that. Crucially though, he was also responsible for his own actions and carried them out. Only that Dream’s choice was ultimately a different one—or was it truly? Because what is the exact definition of “walking away”? He certainly did not abandon his realm like Lucifer because he ensured it was taken care of. There is no devil-may-care (no pun intended) attitude, because even when choosing death, Morpheus does care about his realm and the dreamers. Deeply.

It is the sole reason why the ending we get is the ending we get, and why we have Daniel as Dream in the end. And while Lucifer takes responsibility for their own life, Morpheus takes responsibility for his own death. But both Lucifer and Morpheus faced a choice: remain on their paths as shadows of their former selves, or move on and make peace. And both chose the latter.

And one takeaway for us, as the readers, might be that if we find ourselves in an intolerable situation, we can always walk away, even if the price may be high. This brings us back to the theme of freedom:

The price of freedom is taking responsibility for our lives, even if we haven't been fully in control of them. The freedom to walk away might not be the ultimate freedom, as Lucifer suggests, but it is significant.

Free will in the Sandman is a topic of debate, and I tangentially wrote about it before:

Destiny carries a book that contains everything that will happen to us, all there was, is and will be. Most of all though, it contains what must happen. One could say that in this universe, there is a strong element of predestination involved. However, complaining about a lack of free will and just pointing towards Destiny’s book also misses the point:

In the end, our lives are always our own (which is mentioned several times, directly or in a roundabout way: in Façade, in Song of Orpheus, in Brief Lives, in The Kindly Ones, in The Wake).

Your life and your death are your own

Some of us might have more to overcome than others, but the sooner we accept our unique challenges (which is not the same as being passive), the more we will focus on what we can change—or what we can meet with forgiveness and (self-)compassion.

Destiny and freedom as opposite sides of the coin matter far less than what we do with them…

[luv-y0urself]

18 headcanons for woon's 18th !

day 1 : living with woon . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

established relationship!au | roommate!woon x fem!reader ♫．genre : slice of life, so much fluff... | wc : 789 | warnings : second person pov ! woon is implied to be a student ⏤ in college or high school is up to you to decide. as always, there is some mild bickering too :') 𖤐．first post of the series ! happy birthday once again, woon <3 make sure to let me know which one you guys like the most for the full fic on the seventh day ! more details on the masterlist linked below ↓

ᵔᴗᵔ﹕masterlist | next day . . . tba !

living together-

there would never be a dull day if woonhak was living with you… literally. there’s always one thing or another happening around you guys, and you guys always make the most of it. 

like, there was one time when woonhak insisted that you teach him some of the yoga/pilates things you’ve been doing in your freetime, saying something like “it can’t be that hard…”

oh boy. poor guy was shaking just using a foam roller and doing a couple of exercises with it while you were nearly crying from laughter. 

“you won’t even be able to use a reformer!!”

“sh-shut up!! yes i can!!”

but even when you guys bicker with each other like that, woonhak is still someone that you can rely on for anything.

sometimes there are just days where you don’t want to do anything and just want to stay home, but he forces you to get up and do something, even if that’s going on a short little walk with him outside for some fresh air or just being next to his warmth while he’s doing homework for some of his classes, listening to his voice talking about random things to make you feel better.

he always has food prepared for you on those days – not processed, delivered food, but actual homemade food that he made, freshly prepared for you to eat.

“... thanks, woon.”

“you have to do the dishes.”

“are you kidding me???”

throwing tantrums-

cue the hundreds of videos of woon on the floor throwing a tantrum…

if something doesn’t go his way… this is definitely the type of move he would pull out of his pocket.

FOR EXAMPLE. if something goes wrong w the game he’s playing, he would lay on the floor and start doing this, causing you to run out of the kitchen, not even caring about the flour from your apron leaving a trail behind you as you stare at his flailing body.

of course. just when you're making your favorite cookies to eat during the weekend...

“... woon…?”

“oh my GOD i literally cannot beat this level this is absolutely horrible i’m so bad at this game–”

“woon– oh my god–” you run over and reach out to him to grab his hand holding the flailing controller, putting it down and grabbing both his wrists, successfully putting them above his head as you stare down at him. he finally stops and sighs, looking into your eyes.

“you know, sometimes i wonder if i’m babysitting a child or if i’m living with my boyfriend.”

woon scoffs, all thoughts about the game forgotten as he swiftly switches your positions so that he was on top of you now.

“well, obviously your boyfriend, right?” he gives you a mischievous smile before he starts tickling your sides, getting flour all over his clothing and face before you’re finally able to make him stop.

yes, throwing a tantrum means you have to go and calm him down… which also means this happens every single time too. you still haven’t quite figured out a way to get out of the situation, which wasn't good because woon was getting better day by day at finding your weak spots.

"woon – oh my god – let go of me! my cookies are going to burn!"

"not until you say that i'm the bestest boyfriend in the world."

"jesus christ–"

coparenting a pet-

now, although you insisted that you have enough on your hands with woon in the house, he always wanted to get a pet – a pet dog, specifically. you’ve always said no because that would be too much of a commitment for you guys. but… for his birthday, you finally decided to give in – all the while doing a small prank.

see, you packaged a couple of cute dog toys and gave it to him on the morning of his birthday. he opened them up, happy to see the plushies but a little confused. 

“aren’t these for… dogs…?”

you couldn’t help but smile. “check outside.”

his eyes light up immediately and he zooms out of the room, and you follow him with your phone recording, watching as he picks up the dog from the box that you bought him in and had left outside just a couple minutes ago, the small brown furball nearly disappearing in his arms.

his eyes look at yours with a look of wonder and joy, and he smiles so wide, making your heart warm just by looking at the two of them together. he puts down the dog softly on the floor and immediately pulls you into his embrace, his large hand covering the back of your head and burying himself into your scent by snuggling into the crevice of your shoulder.

“thank you so much, love.”

© luv-y0urself / 2024 | taglist : @onedoornet @blankjournal

[birdy-babe]

This set of dialogue happening right now with the context of Blitzø’s love life/stolitz

It’s really on the nose isn’t it??

“You can’t brute force it”

“I’ve never been good at this shit”

[brummiereader]

@mischievouslittlecreature 😬...he's not giving in easily when it comes to Lizzie, is he? At least, not yet. Urghh, I can't watch, but I wana watch 😭🙈!

With the business with Jessie and Lizzie, Lucy feels different to me. I don't know how to properly articulate it, but she just kinda seems like she's just going with the flow but deeply, deeply sad about everything. She just seems...done 😥. Tommy has all these ambitions and things going on with Lizzie, and I get the sense that Lucy has been completely worn down by it all. I appreciate how he's always checking on her wellbeing, but from the readers perspective, we're really starting to see a change in Lucy and how things she once enjoyed are starting to become a burden/anxiety inducing.

“You can’t be unmarried with an illegitimate child if you want to move into politics, Tommy.” Urghh, I know the topic of marriage has to be brought up. But you can tell from both Tommy and Lucy's remarks that neither of them want to be even thinking about the mere idea of it. He's a fucking gangster though! And illegitimate child it's hardly something people should be fussing about considering his line of work 😂. I swear, these posh/high society people have more twisted morals than anyone in Birmingham!

“You okay?” Tommy whispered to her in the dark. When she didn’t respond right away, his voice grew a little strained with worry. “Lucy?” yeh, I'm starting to think she's done with these threesomes now. It starting to look like a chore for her when she once enjoyed it. I find it interesting how she reflects on it, and if it's because of what happened to Luca or Lizzie. But I think that it properly goes further back than that. Little by little we've started to see how, even though they enjoy it, they seek each other out more during those encounters. Maybe they just want each other, but continue with them because it's a force of habit and a job that needs doing. Is Lucy waiting for Tommy to say that's enough now, do you think? Because she really doesn't seem into it.

Looking around, a beat of panic tightened in his throat at no sight of her distinctive crimson hair. His heart started to pound hard in his chest. No. No, no, no, no…he’d just left her there for a second. Ahh Tommy 😭. They way he panicked when he couldn't see her, and how he had to control himself from falling apart when she turned up😩. He's absolutely petrified of losing her again, even for the tiniest of seconds.

Another edition to their family 🥰! I love how Tommy was pouty about it first but quickly caved in when he saw how much Lucy had already fell in love with the little kitten. He's a big softie really! And that line about how he had knocked someone up, so she should be able to keep that cat, got a giggle from me 😂.

Urghhhh it hurts 😭! I know Ruby is an innocent baby in this mess, but my heart still dropped when I was reading about Lucy's struggle seeing Tommy with Lizzie and their little family she doesn't feel a part of Fuck sake Tommy, your pull out method is weak 😬! Look at the heartache you've caused 😩.

She followed Tommy and Lizzie down the stairs, lingering back to let them both go first, walking side by side with their baby while she trailed behind them; alone. Fuck sake...this chapter is really starting to stir my emotions for poor Lucy 😭. I always knew it was gonna be hard to read her seeing Tommy doting on his daughter with Lizzie by his side. I just wish there was something Tommy could do to show her that she's stil his number one girl. But I still understand how his time has now been split between Lucy and Charlie and Lizzie and Ruby. But I have hope that things will get easier for this blended family as Ruby grows up ❤️.

What a fantastic chapter to finish of this part of your story! Off to next part 😍.

Part 21: The Shadow of the Abattoir

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OC

Summary: Tommy's ambitions take them to new heights, but not without consequences looming on the horizon.

Word Count: 4,005

Notes: I originally considered including some more detailed aspects--even potentially a full chapter--detailing Lizzie's pregnancy and Ruby's birth, but I have tokophobia, and just wasn't comfortable going into that much detail regarding that topic. So apologies to anyone who wanted to see more of that. And I promise that the Lizzie drama is only just beginning, and will be a big part of the next couple parts, so please consider checking those out once they're posted if you're interested in seeing a continuation of that aspect of the story.

Also, I just want to give a huge thank you to everyone who has read this story. This is to date the biggest single fic I have ever written, and the support you have given me means so much. I promise to have more featuring Tommy and Lucy out very soon!

Warnings for depictions of insecurity, sexual content, PTSD, and references to torture and pregnancy. Bit of a bittersweet ending here, so sorry about that!

Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Part

Chapter 29: Shake Hands with the Devil

Returning to work had been the right idea.

Already, Lucy was starting to feel better, work helping to drive the dark thoughts that had been plaguing her lately to the back of her mind. They were still there, but they weren’t nearly as loud as they once were. 

Tommy’s new plan required a good amount of logistics and organizing, both of which she was eager to take on. And another action, one somewhat less desirable, but just as necessary. 

She was surprised at just how easy it was to get Jessie to give up the name of the leader of the cell. All it took was a kiss from Tommy and a declaration that he wanted to help her cause to have information already spilling from her lips. 

But then again, Tommy always seemed to have that effect on women. And Jessie, despite how she may have presented herself, was desperate for connection.

“You alright?” Tommy asked, after Jessie had left the office with the promise that they’d meet up later.

“I feel a little bad for what we’re doing to her,” Lucy sighed, leaning back into him while his hands rested on her upper arms, chin settling on the top of her head.

“If you really don’t want to go through with it, we can figure something else out–”

“No, it’s fine.” She turned around in his arms to face him, resting her head on his chest, leaning into the warmth of his body. 

It was a shitty thing, what they were doing to Jessie. But fucking her was necessary to ensure her loyalty until the election was done. And to maintain the steady stream of information she could provide them about the communists–at least, that’s what Lucy was going to keep telling herself in order to be able to sleep at night. 

“Just…” she worried on her bottom lip, feeling Tommy’s hand settle protectively on the back of her head. “Promise me that you won’t come in her.” She didn’t need to specify as to why, feeling him tense a little against her of the reminder of Lizzie and her approaching due date. 

“I promise.”

She cleared her throat awkwardly. “We really should talk about what you want to do about Lizzie.”

“What do you mean?”

She hesitated, unsure as to how she could properly broach the subject to him, feeling a tear begin to cleave its way through her heart in response to what she was about to suggest. Even as she forced the words to come out. 

“You should marry her.”

Tommy jerked back, staring at her with a furrowed brow, frown pulling his lips downwards. “What?”

“You can’t be unmarried with an illegitimate child if you want to move into politics, Tommy.” Knowing him, winning the position of MP was just the beginning. He had big things ahead of him. “You have to project the right kind of image. And if you want to be able to be involved in any sort of significant way with the baby…”

“But I love you,” he said softly. “If I’m going to marry anyone–”

“It needs to be the mother of your child,” Lucy finished for him stubbornly. He shot her a wounded look. 

“I don’t want to marry her.”

We don’t always get what we want, she thought, but bit her tongue. If things had been different, maybe it could have been her that he would marry. But they weren’t. 

“And besides, what about you?” he pressed.

“I think that I’m a small price to pay for the betterment of your child’s life and your career.”

The hurt in his eyes deepened. “Well I don’t!”

“Tommy…”

“We’re not talking about this,” his jaw twitched unhappily as he shook his head, turning towards his desk.

“Sweetheart, please…”

“I’m not giving you up.” That stubborn sharpness entered his eyes, jaw setting, and she knew that she would get nowhere with him on the subject. At least not yet. He’d have to see with his own eyes that she was right before he budged on it. 

She sighed. The last thing that she wanted to do at the moment was fight with him. “Alright.”

They did not speak of the matter again. Though it lingered in the air between them like a ghost. 

∗ ∗ ∗

They laid side by side in the narrow bed, Tommy in the middle with Lucy on one side of him, Jessie on the other. He was thumbing at his brow with one hand, staring up at the ceiling while Jessie slipped out from under the sheets to go get dressed. Lucy watched her lazily, shifting to tuck herself more closely into Tommy’s side. His arm dropped to wrap around her shoulders, fingers tracing over her back. She shifted nearer to him, suddenly needing the closeness.

“You okay?” Tommy whispered to her in the dark. When she didn’t respond right away, his voice grew a little strained with worry. “Lucy?”

“‘M okay,” she said, nestling her head more firmly on his chest, eyes still watching Jessie carefully. They could not talk while she was in the room with them. At least not really. 

She ached pleasantly between her legs from having him buried inside her but only a few moments ago. And while the pleasure from the orgasm he’d given her was still rushing through her veins, she was coming down from it rapidly, crashing back to earth in an unpleasant plunge. 

It would appear that Lizzie’s pregnancy had more or less killed a lot of the enjoyment that threesomes once held for her. She’d felt an unfamiliar surge of anxiety as they’d taken Jessie to bed, the kind that sex normally helped to dull. But this time the tumultuous, overwhelming feelings only seemed to grow as she watched Tommy fuck their new lover. Even though he’d kept his promise and not emptied himself inside of Jessie, the threat of yet another unintended accident from their liaison had set her so on edge that she found it almost impossible to fully lose herself even in Tommy’s familiar kisses and touches.

She was pretty sure that he was able to sense her nervousness, but whether he was able to guess the actual reason, or thought that she was just anxious because this was the first threesome they’d had since what had happened with Luca, she wasn’t sure. Either way, despite Jessie being the primary focus of the evening, he was being notably attentive towards her, eyes constantly darting over to check on her throughout, warm mouth seeking out her skin in attempts to pull her out of her own head. 

He was looking at her that same way now, a slight crease forming between his brows. Lucy offered him a weak smile that only caused the look of concern to deepen, his other arm joining the first in wrapping around her so that he was hugging her tightly. Lucy squeezed him back, closing her eyes and burying her face in his chest. As if by doing so she could somehow hide away from the entire world. 

∗ ∗ ∗

Tommy left his meeting with Arthur Bigge in high spirits. It had taken some convincing, but all his conditions had been met. Everything was going according to plan. 

Well, not everything. Lucy was still worrying him. She was doing considerably better than she had been during their holiday, but she still wasn’t wholly herself. 

She used to smile and laugh so easily. Even at the absolute worst of his jokes, or with the smallest little bit of teasing, and he could have her giggling, trying to shield it behind one of her hands even as her mossy green eyes lit up, entire face crinkling with mirth.

But nowadays, a melancholic aura had draped over her, seeming to cling to her skin, casting a film of sorrow over her eyes. Of course Tommy did not expect her to go back to the way that things were before Luca. But it killed him to see her so despondent and broken. 

He missed hearing her laugh. 

What he would give to make it all better for her. To pull the sadness out of her eyes. Take it into himself, if he had to. Just so long as she didn’t have to carry it anymore. 

She was still having nightmares and the occasional panic attack, as was to be expected. He had been worried originally that all the work that came along with preparing for the election would cause her too much stress. Especially with how fragile she still was. But if anything the work seemed to help, so he let her be. 

But her comments about how he should marry Lizzie had struck a nerve in him, planting a seed of dread in his chest. He had always assumed if he were to ever marry again after Grace, it would be to Lucy. No one else. Especially not Lizzie.              

He had meant what he’d said. He wasn’t letting her go. He’d rather burn his reputation and even the entire bloody company to the ground before he even considered something like that. But his Lucy seemed incapable of understanding that, and he was beginning to grow more and more worried that no matter how much he tried to reassure her, she was doubting her place at his side.

When he first brought up the idea of running for MP, she had asked him what was to become of her position as his assistant after he took office. The question had taken him aback. It had seemed so obvious to him that she would come with him. He’d hardly given it any real thought. Wherever he went, so did she. That was how things had always been, and he had no intention of changing them. Her worries seemed only somewhat abated when he smiled and coyly told her that MPs still needed assistants. It wasn’t long before she was fretting over the possibility of rumors spreading regarding their relationship and tarnishing his reputation. 

As if his reputation was not already drenched in blood and mud. 

He’d just grinned and kissed her temple, trying to appear relaxed and unbothered by any of it. Hoping that if he did, it would help to soothe her. 

“Most politicians are sleeping with their secretaries, love. We won’t exactly be unique in that regard,” he’d told her. It seemed to have calmed her concerns enough. At least for the moment. 

Adjusting the grip on his briefcase, he pushed out of the door and stepped into the crisp fresh air. Glancing around, he frowned when he didn’t spot Lucy on the bench where he’d left her before going in for the meeting. Bigge had wanted to meet with just him alone, and while Tommy had been inclined to kick up a fuss about it until he let Lucy accompany him, she’d insisted that he shouldn’t risk irritating Bigge just so she could be in the room while they struck their deal. 

He hadn’t been particularly happy about it, but ultimately he had to admit that she had a point. 

Looking around, a beat of panic tightened in his throat at no sight of her distinctive crimson hair. His heart started to pound hard in his chest. No. No, no, no, no…he’d just left her there for a second, she’d been armed, there were dozens of people around, surely she couldn’t have been just snapped up right off the street…

His head swiveled around, scanning the people passing by him. Maybe he’d just missed her. She was so short, it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility that he’d just lost her in the crowd of people.

He was just beginning to properly panic when he heard his voice at his elbow. 

“How did it go?”

He whirled, eyes wide, chest still heaving with the startings of his panic attack, to find her standing there none the worse for wear, black coat pulled in tight around her.

Relief hit him like a blast to the face, and it took all his self control not to seize her in his arms and squeeze her tight to him. Instead he just let out a deep breath, shoulders relaxing. His eyes closed as he steadied himself, taking the time to remind himself that she was there and she was fine.

He opened his eyes again to find her still looking up at him, head cocked curiously. “Where were you?” he demanded, tone perhaps a bit sharper than he’d intended. 

“I got bored, so I went for a walk.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s just…you weren’t here and I…” he huffed. “It’s alright. C’mon,” he indicated with his head towards the car that he’d parked on the edge of the curb. He held open the door for her, then slipped in after she’d gotten settled in the passenger seat. Setting his briefcase down and closing the door behind him, he turned to look at her. There was an odd bulge in the front of her coat. His eyes narrowed. The bulge twitched. “What’s that?”

Lucy clutched her coat tighter to her body, blinking up at him innocently. “What’s what?”

“What’s wrong with your coat?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Her coat meowed. Tommy raised an eyebrow. Lucy pouted, letting the garment fall open to reveal a tiny little black and orange tortoiseshell kitten hidden underneath, blinking up at him with scrutinizing green eyes. 

“What the bloody hell is that?”

Lucy stroked the little animal’s head. “It’s a kitten, Tommy. Surely you’ve heard of them before.”

He rolled his eyes. “I know what a kitten is, Lucy. What’s it doing tucked in your coat?”

“I heard her crying in the alley behind the bench I was sitting at. And when I went to look, she was soaking wet and shivering all alone in this little box. I couldn’t just leave her there.”

“The fuck are we going to do with a stray kitten, Luce?”

She shrugged. “We can keep her at the house. She could help with the mice problem.”

“We don’t have a mice problem.”

“And now that we have a cat, we never will.”

He eyed the kitten warily, still feeling like she was sharply analyzing him. Her little tail flicked back and forth, paws kneading at Lucy’s thighs. When Lucy scratched at the top of her head, she angled her face up, and batted at her playfully with one soft paw. Lucy giggled. 

Tommy looked up sharply at the sound, biting the inside of his cheek to try to maintain his serious facade even as he felt himself soften at the sight of her smiling down at the cat. 

“And you immediately assumed that I’d be alright with this?” he asked, the amusement obvious in his voice.

“You don’t have much of a choice.” Lucy flashed him a grin before her attention returned to the kitten, who’d curled up into a ball on her lap. Tommy raised an eyebrow, fond smile threatening to break containment as it tugged on the edges of his lips. 

“No?”

Lucy looked up at him, a challenge entering her eyes. “You knocked someone else up.”

He opened his mouth to respond, then closed it. “You know what–that’s fair.”

She snickered, leaning forward to peck his cheek to let him know that there was no real bite to her words. Tugging off one of his gloves, he held his hand out to the cat. She sniffed at his knuckles, whiskers twitching with consideration, and then rubbed her cheek against his hand. 

“She likes you.”

“Mm.” He gave her a few scratches under the chin, begrudgingly admitting to himself that the kitten was pretty fucking cute. And Lucy was right; the least he could do was let her keep the cat. “We’ll have to get her checked out by the vet before we take her home.” 

“Of course. Who knows what she might’ve gotten into living on the streets. Poor baby.”

Tommy let his hand stroke over the kitten’s back. She was so little, he could probably have fit her in one palm when she was all curled up. He felt a slight buzz under his hand as she started purring. He could feel Lucy watching them both fondly. 

“So it went well?”

“Hm?”

“The meeting with Bigge. Did it go alright?”

He smiled at her softly. “Yes; it went alright.” 

Her face lit up, leaning into him. “Good.”

He turned his face to catch her lips with his, kissing her gently in celebration.

Between them, the kitten meowed. 

∗ ∗ ∗

“Don’t you dare.”

Lucy grinned to herself as she approached Tommy’s office, hearing his voice even before she pushed open the heavy wooden door. She was greeted with the sight of the kitten perched on his desk, her little paw batting his box of matches closer and closer to the edge, her head cocked with intrigue. 

Her green eyes peered over at him, holding his gaze, and promptly batted the box onto the floor. Tommy sighed, reaching across to scoop the little monster up and plop her down onto his lap. “You’re gonna be a little troublemaker, aren’t you?” But he was smiling to himself, a dimple appearing in his cheek when the kitten meowed in agreement. 

Lucy smiled as she stepped fully into the office, walking over to set down a fresh stack of papers onto his desk. “Need you to sign these.” She collapsed back into a chair across from him as he plucked up a pen. 

Her hand raised to rest against the side of her face as she watched him. With every passing day, the election drew nearer, and with it, her anxiety grew. 

She’d been keeping an ear to the ground, regarding anything that might hinder him winning. But so far, with all the careful bribing and other methods of rigging that they’d implemented holding strong, it seemed like it would be an easy path to victory.

But there were some rumblings regarding Lizzie and the pregnancy that had started to spread. Lucy was pretty sure that they could keep them suppressed at least until the election was over. But not indefinitely.

It was going to become a problem.

She supposed it was almost funny, in a way. How being unmarried with an illegitimate child was likely to cause more harm to his reputation than being a notorious gangster. 

They needed to address it. Figure out what they were going to do. And the longer that they took, the more damage the whole situation was likely to cause. 

The kitten jumped into her lap, curling up with a soft purr. Lucy let her hand stroke mindlessly through her black and orange fur.   

“Tommy?”

He looked up at her through the glinting lenses of his glasses, eyebrow raised, papers still clutched between his fingers. 

“Yes?”

She’d been reluctant to bring up the subject ever since he so thoroughly shut her down the last time over it. But if she was being truly honest with herself, that wasn’t the only reason why she’d so willingly let it go.

She didn’t want him to marry Lizzie. And she sure as hell did not want to let him go. 

We’ve still got some time. We don’t need to do anything about it yet.

She swallowed hard, feeling like the worst, most selfish scum on the earth, even as she forced a wobbly smile on her face. 

“Never mind.”

∗ ∗ ∗

Time passed at seemingly the speed of light. And before she knew it, she was standing next to Tommy, the rest of the family–except for Lizzie who had to wait outside with the baby–crowded around him. They were all waiting with baited breath as the results of the election were announced over the loudspeaker. Lucy could feel her guts twisting nauseatingly inside her with nerves, heart leaping into her throat. 

It had been an insane handful of months, and they’d all seemingly passed within the blink of an eye. She didn’t even know where all the time had gone. 

Not long before the election took place, Lizzie gave birth to a baby girl, already bestowed the name Ruby by Polly before her arrival into the world.  

And oh, did Tommy love that little girl. 

It was heartwarming to see him fall so deeply in love with her, and every moment spent watching him with her made Lucy’s heart jump. 

But God, did it also hurt.

She kept her melancholy and jealousy over the gorgeous little family he now had with Lizzie tucked down deep and away, where no one would ever find it. Ruby was a sweet baby, and she deserved nothing but good things in life. And Lucy did love her. Enough that she was more than prepared to walk away forever if she had to in order to give that girl a chance at growing up with a proper family around her. 

She knew it made Tommy sad, to not be able to see her all the time. Ruby and Lizzie still lived at the home Tommy had bought for them, and while he visited when he could, he still did not get to see his daughter as often as he would if she lived at Arrow House. 

They still had not had the conversation about what to do regarding that situation long-term. She’d tried to bring up the idea of him and Lizzie getting married again a handful of times, especially after Ruby’s birth, but Tommy still wouldn’t hear of it. 

A part of her was worried that, despite the promising polls, his personal life would hinder his victory. And it would all be her fault. Because she had been selfish and decided to try to hold onto him, even though the selfless thing–the responsible thing–would have been to let him go so he could build a proper personal life to go along with his new ambitions. 

A huge breath of relief left her when his name was announced over the loudspeaker, a wide smile quickly replacing the look of apprehension that had been there a moment prior. She hugged Tommy back tightly in celebration when he engulfed her in his arms, briefly forgetting that she was trying to behave more distantly towards him in public. Like a mere colleague rather than a lover. To try to save his reputation before the rumor mill fully caught wind of their affair and ran with it. 

“I now declare Thomas Shelby to be the new Labor Member of Parliament for the constituency of Birmingham South,” the announcer boomed for all to hear. Not just in the room that they were all crowded in to hear the results, but across the entire bloody country. 

Cheers erupted, everyone in the family swarming around him, all smiles and uninhibited joy. They soon made their way to the doors, out to where Lizzie was waiting with Ruby clutched in her arms. Tommy beamed as he scooped Ruby up, lifting her high above his head, the baby squealing and giggling in delight. Lucy smiled at the display and the baby’s happy coos as her father adjusted her to rest on his hip and carry her with him down the rest of the stairs. But her smile quickly fell when she spotted Lizzie flashing a truly snide smirk at Jessie where she was standing in the crowd. A tendril of trepidation coiled itself around her, wondering if she would be on the receiving end of such a look sooner or later. Lizzie had been behaving decently towards her as of late, but she was not fool enough to expect that to last.

She followed Tommy and Lizzie down the stairs, lingering back to let them both go first, walking side by side with their baby while she trailed behind them; alone. 

And despite their current string of good fortune, of endless possibilities and new doors opening up before them, she found herself struggling to muster up any real hope for the future. 

Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Part

Thank you for reading! Please consider leaving a comment, reblog, or like. I always appreciate feedback and love getting the opportunity to interact with you and hear your thoughts!

[keikoayano]

Thinking about the yearning when Eurylochus says “let’s just cut our losses, you and I, and let’s run”

He’s not saying to forget those they’ve lost, he’s not saying to undo what has been done, he’s not blaming Odysseus (at this moment) for the consequences of his decisions. He reminds Odysseus of this all, sure, but not to be negative or force Odysseus to confront what they’ve lived through. He’s begging Odysseus to see things from his point-of-view.

He doesn’t want to lose Odysseus on top of everything else, even though he’s watching Odysseus change in front of him from the captain that he’s known, from the friend that he’s known for years. He doesn’t want to lose what few men are left. He doesn’t want to lose another self-proclaimed brother - they’ve both lost Polites already.

He just wants to grab Odysseus and get everyone remaining home, even if that means turning and running

[supergraphicultramoderngirl]

aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[kittenfangirl20]

Adam: I can’t go back to my body, I’m dead in my universe and even if I wanted to go back to my universe, I don’t know how to.

Other Adam: What happened in your universe that makes yours so different than mine.

Adam: My Lucifer hates me, he believed Lilith’s lies and chose her over me. Instead of having the life I wanted, I was forced to toil the Earth to feed my family. Then when I died, they still weren’t done with me, they expected me to come up with a solution to the overpopulation in Hell. All I could come up with was killing the Sinners to keep the population down and then I was treated like a bad guy for that.

Other Adam: I am very sorry about how fucked up your life is, but this isn’t your life, that isn’t your Lucifer. They belong to me.

Adam looked down at tears fell, he came up with Extermination Day because they expected him to have a solution since he was Father of Humanity they felt like he had to come up with a solution to this fuck up. He didn’t act like it, but he hated that he came up with Extermination Day. Other Adam knelt in front of Adam and placed a comforting hand on him.

Adam: I know and I am so sorry, I just can’t stand Lucifer hating me when I still love him. He even said I really let myself go since Eden, that hurt so much.

Other Adam: That doesn’t sound like Luci, he actually thinks we look better chubby. I find it more likely that your Lucifer was lying.

Adam: I don’t believe you, but I will help you, you deserve to be happy with your husband and I deserve death. At least this non existence won’t be painful.

Other Adam: Maybe you won’t be dead, maybe you’ll get a second chance to tell your Lucifer you love him.

Adam: I find it unlikely.

Other Adam: If you do end up alive in your world, I want you to tell your Lucifer you love him.

Adam: Ok, I promise.

Suddenly Adam woke up in Lucifer’s arms or at least the Lucifer of this world. He had to find a way to find out he ended up here. He got up and went to the library to find a book that could have the answers.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

Adam Swap Au

Adam groaned, the last thing he remembered was being stabbed quite literally in the back. When he opened his eyes he saw a red sky, the fuck? Was he ...... In Hell?

Adam: Fuck.

It took him a little while to get up and he didn't understand why it took him so long. He knew he was a little overweight but this was ridiculous. Adam walked around the streets of Hell, people were looking at him but not with disgust.

More like they were shocked to see him and relieved to see him.

Weird.

Adam glared when he caught his reflection, he had horns on his head and he looked different. Especially his belly, it looked more perfectly round than normal.

People were whispering that the Queen of Hell was back, but looking around he didn't see Lilith. They were taking pictures of him.

?: Mom!!!!!!

Adam instantly recognized that voice, it was Princess Charlie Morningstar. He was about to tell her that he wasn’t in the mood to fight her again, especially if her father was going to swoop in and kick his ass, but she threw her arms around him.

Charlie: Mom, everyone was wondering where you were.

He then noticed some differences, Charlie’s skin color was the same, the color of snow with red circles on her cheeks that looked like apples. But the hair and eye color were different. Her hair was the color of milk chocolate like his and up on an intricate braided style he would use on Aclima’s hair. Her eyes were gold with pitch black sclera like his eyes. Coming out of her head were the black and horns like his horns except they were a little smaller, she even had a pair of shimmery black wings like his. She was dressed in a short dark purple dress with a short black leather jacket, she also had black combat boots and from the knees down her legs had fur the color of her hair.

Adam: Girlie, I don’t know what you are talking about, but I am not your mom.

Charlie looked sad, but she put her hand on his forehead. Even with his confusion, he somehow felt maternal towards this young woman.

Charlie: I promise that you are my mom.

Just then Vaggie ran over and looked relieved to see both Adam and Charlie.

Vaggie: My Queen, everyone was worried about you, let us take you back to the hotel.

Adam decided it was pointless to fight it and let the two women take him to the hotel. Charlie walked off and went to call someone. He nervously tapped his claws on the coffee table thinking about how he had remembered fighting everyone there and they were acting like nothing happened. When Charlie hung up the phone, a portal opened and Lucifer came through.

Lucifer: Addie?

Lucifer wasn’t acting like they were enemies, in fact he called him by the nickname he used in Eden. Then Lucifer ran over and kissed him on the lips the way Adam always dreamed of Lucifer kissing him.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

[ofichinose]

Hhhh —

[pepprs]

mission failed we’ll get em next time 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[tonycries]

The Way You Kiss Me - G.S.

Synopsis. The four times Satoru tries really hard not to kiss you - his best friend’s pretty younger sister. And the one time he doesn’t.

Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! Suguru’s sister! reader, childhood enemies to lovers, PINING Satoru, like really really disgustingly down bad, creampíe, oral (fem receiving), pússytalking, needy JEALOUS! Satoru, running away from it, spítting, punching is Suguru’s love language, mentions of aIcohol, pet names, swearing.

Word count. 7.4k (That’s wild)

A/N. BOO! Surprise upload. This was so fun to write omg.

“You sure this is how the grown-ups get married?”

“Duh, I know everything.”

“Nuh uh, Toru.”

“Yuh uh!”

The first time Gojo Satoru kissed you was underneath that dingy playground slide that the two of you always raced to after elementary school. 

Usually, your older brother, Suguru, would walk home alongside you two - but this time, he’d just so happened to have been held back for throwing paper planes at the teacher that day.

A sign from the universe, Satoru internally celebrated, something he’d learned from those sappy romance novels his mother left lying around the house. No matter that he was the one that made those planes.

You were six back then, standing in front of a determined Satoru - reaching up on his tip-toes, face pink, smelling of those cheap strawberry lollipops he’d sneak into class and taunt you with. At the much older and wiser age of seven, he’d insisted on being the first one to lean in.

Just barely even grazing your dramatically puckered lips before-

Satoru learned two things that fateful afternoon:

Even as a seven-year-old, Suguru’s punches really hurt. 

Never mess with you. Anyone but you. 

Life only seemed to go downhill from there - because that last lesson was proving to be hard along the years. Really. Fucking. Hard.

Little did Satoru know that this would be the start of some strange, unpredictable little dance of push and pull. No, you definitely weren’t his wife. Nor were you exactly best friends - not really, that spot was reserved for your brother. But you didn’t think you could ever be just that either.

And the punch that’d knocked his wobbly tooth out onto the playground floor that day was a painful reminder that whatever that was - whatever weird thoughts he had later in middle school about how you’d tasted like candy - didn’t matter. No matter how part some tucked-away little part of him wanted it to.

Hell, eleven years later and Satoru still can’t walk around that familiar block without feeling slightly queasy. Which is why, after that failed first kiss, he knew there wouldn’t be a second. 

Instead, he settles back to teasing your pouty self, pushing all your buttons, tugging on those cute dresses you wore. Face burning so strangely with- humiliation? when you bickered right back, calling his haircut a “tragic attempt at modern art.”

“So you’re saying I look like art?” A gangly, now-seventeen Satoru blocks the bustling high school hallway, ignoring the bell. Grin only growing at your frustrated huff, he half-jokes, “Aww, if you’re that soft on me, sweetheart, maybe we should go to prom tog-”

You slam your locker, effectively shutting both it and Satoru at the same time. “I’d rather go with Yaga.”

“...you would not.”

“Would to.”

“Would not.”

“Would to.”

“Would- Sugu–!”

And all Suguru can do is wrap two hands around his neck, mock-choking himself, wondering if it was really too late to embrace a quiet life as a monk. “You’ll both be MLA cited in my farewell note.”

He was used to it, though, forced to watch all this chaos since quickly mending his friendship with Satoru over ice cream the day after the punch. Convinced that this was some punishment for a past life’s misdeed.

With a squawk of protest, Satoru’s turning back to you, eyes crinkling with a hint of mischief you knew too well, “Would not.”

Your face burns, “Would to, Toru.”

You didn’t go with Yaga. but Satoru didn’t exactly count that as a win in his books, either, because you did show up that night hanging off the arm of some jerk from the football team. 

And there you were, all dolled up - which he very objectively noted - way too prettily for some bastard like him. Stars in your eyes, and everything he couldn’t have in that smile. 

Everything. 

Way too gorgeous, even when he finds you sitting outside the gymnasium later on in the night. Too busy bawling your mascara off to even throw out your usual greeting insult his way. Murmuring out wetly about “that asshole” and how he humiliated you by stranding you in the middle of the dance floor for someone else. 

“Well, he was a jerk anyway. Even Yaga would’ve been better, hell, I-” Satoru stops short to his horror at the way you only cry harder.

Way too irresistible, especially as his body moves before his mind - holding out an open hand before he knows it. “I’m a much better dancer than him and you.” And oh Satoru will forever remember the way his heart lurches as you blink your teary eyes up in confusion, “Well, aren’t ya gonna take up the challenge?”

Weirdly, it wasn’t weird at all. 

If anything, you had to hold back your laughter the entire time at the way the great “campus sweetheart” Gojo Satoru was so on edge.

Just a friend comforting a friend, right?

So why was he avoiding your gaze with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, summer blue eyes pointedly trained right over your head. That pretty pink blush dusting his cheeks reflecting the hands hovering in midair over your waist. So close - and yet, fear in each and every turn and swirl.

Yours were searing into his broad shoulders as you tried to guide him to the muffled music from inside. And shit.

That night ended with a second kiss. 

You don’t know who leaned in first, just that Satoru’s soft lips were just fleeting on your glossy ones - barely even a touch. And that shit shit shit- this was Satoru. This was you. 

Everything. 

But it seems that every time Satoru was about to kiss you dangerously close to the way some tiny, forbidden part of his heart wanted to - the universe throws an obstacle at him. An obstacle that was six feet and named “Suguru”, currently running at break-neck speed out of the gym.

“MOVE YOUR ASSES!” he cackles, “THE FOOTBALL TEAM ISN’T TOO HAPPY ABOUT ME BREAKING THEIR STAR PLAYER’S NOSE.”

And not a word is uttered about the kiss as the three of you speed out of the school parking lot in Suguru’s busted-up black hellcat, the wind mussing up the hairstyle that took Satoru over two hours to perfect. Sneaking in glances at the sight of you singing along at the top of your lungs to some overplayed pop song on the radio. 

He learns another two things that night:

Apparently, Suguru’s right hook still really fucking hurt. And thank god for tonight’s casualties of noses, because it was a wonder that he didn’t look too hard at how close Satoru was with you. 

He didn’t…dislike the feeling of your lips on his. And judging by the way you meet his eyes in the rearview mirror - you didn’t either.

It’s mainly that last one that makes him gulp.

Neither of you remember the third kiss - though, Satoru’s sure that at least 80% of Shoko’s instagram followers did.

According to a very hungover Shoko, and the many, many forms of documentation, it had happened on the New Year’s eve during your third year in university. In which you were much more used to the raging parties that would be hosted at Suguru’s apartment, and only slightly less intimidated by them.

“And you’re a lightweight too, dumbass. You were gone.” Shoko sighs from across the café table, eye bags deeper than the last time he’d seen her. “Like gone gone.”

God, what a way to start the year.

Satoru bites back a remark about how “gone” Shoko herself had been. Sitting up straight in his seat, regret immediately hitting his senses faster than the guilty throbbing at his temples. He winces, managing out a semi-disbelieving groan of, “Gone gone?”

And she’s only nodding wearily, subconsciously tapping out the rest of her cigarette ashes onto his untouched plate of sweet pastries. 

“I’m talking dancing on expensive coffee tables and fighting to stop you from giving everyone there a strip show.” She cracks a smirk through a waft of smoke, “Though, she would’ve loved that I’m sure.”

“Har har har, you’d make even Nanami laugh with that one.”

“Eugh, gross.” Shoko taps through her phone briefly, swirling it around to show Satoru a few pictures that definitely gave him a mini-heart attack at 8:57 in the morning. “You look like you’re about to pen really bad poetry.”

And perhaps this was Shoko’s plan all along - to shock Satoru to the core hard enough that she can note it down as one of her sketchy psychological experiments. 

But he knew. Could feel it in the hazy fragments of memories - or, at the very least, in that entire highlight that Nanamin had oh-so-conveniently put up on Instagram titled, “Blackmail.”

You knew. 

You’d kissed him back. 

“I don’t have a-.” you slur, stumbling ever-so-slightly as you try to meet Satoru’s glassy eyes. Because shit the years have had him shooting up faster than you could look up. “-a New Year’s kiss, y’know.”

You were older - more gorgeous, if that was even possible now. That tight dress hugging your body so unfairly in a way that had him forgetting you were his best friend’s sister. 

The one person in this whole world that he couldn’t have.

But Satoru leans in closer, more because he wants to than anything - he could pick out your voice anywhere let alone over the thumping music currently filling his crowded living room. Lips loose as he tries to play up the cool-guy facade he’s been dubbed with since freshman year, “Hah, loser. Because I do.”

“Where?”

At this, Satoru is stumped - damn, you were good. 

“Not- uh here?” If he was in any clearer state of mind, he’d have been embarrassed at the way his voice cracks so traitorously as your unsteady hands pull him in closer by his overpriced button-up. 

Your body was flush against his now, so addictive. Gaze half-lidded and flickering between the sliver of milky skin exposed on his chest - from that impromptu striptease he’d almost started earlier - and the blue eyes that were currently locked you. You whisper a strained, “Liar.”

Close - too close. So dangerously close.

He breathes out against your lips, the smell of booze and you so heady in his mind. And the heavy words falling from his lips sound like lies, even to him. “Not.”

“Toru?” you hum, a sound that has him gasping. “Shut up.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

And there went your New Year’s kisses. At exactly 11:37PM, if the photos were anything to go by. 

And holy shit were there many. All of which showed your arms looped around Satoru’s neck, crashing his lips to yours. His own, resting against your waist, a scandalously red blush - whether from the alcohol or you - adorning his cheeks. Looking more blissed out than he ever remembers feeling. 

“I’m a dead man, Shoko.” 

There’s a lengthy silence, leaving Satoru stewing in thoughts of how Suguru would react once he finds out. And whether or not he’d be able to rise from the dead just to see how pretty you’d look at his funeral.

Morbid thoughts broken only by Shoko’s cough, “Hey, can I keep your eyes for experimentation if he actually catches you?”

Subtly, he sends himself those photos from last night.  

Luckily for Satoru’s eyes, they never ended up being donated towards Shoko’s questionable contributions to the world of medicine. 

And by some grace of the gods above, Suguru never mentioned a word about the kiss that would’ve inevitably made its way to him. Or maybe it was because Satoru stole his phone until he managed to pester Nanami just enough to take down that highlight. But, semantics. 

His heart, however, might as well have been part of some experiment.

Because it’s been working overdrive since that night - mind reliving that moment over and over and over and- shit, he’s fucked. So, so fucked. 

Fucked enough that it took Satoru months just to muster up to even look in your pretty eyes once more, unless he wanted to get lost in them forever. Fucked enough that he dared to wonder again and again when there might be a fourth kiss - if there would be a fourth kiss. 

He just never thought it would happen the way it did - with you, standing outside his front door. 

“I’m sorry, Toru.” you mumble, “It’s just- I think we both need to grow up.”

You’ve freshly graduated now, looking more and more irresistible each time he sees you - even when you’re looking at him like that. 

Rolling his eyes, “Ha, is this another way of saying you want my secret to getting taller? Because the first thing is to-”

“I’m serious, Satoru.”

And oh how he wished you’d say something - anything - else right now. Call him anything but that. Maybe even throw an insult his way, tell him those new sunglasses look ugly, or about how you got that internship he would’ve died for. 

Satoru manages to choke out a heavy, “I don’t understand.” But that uncomfortable coil of something curling at the pit of his stomach said otherwise. And it causes him to finally breathe out a hesitant, “Maybe you’re right.”

As if that was all the answer you needed, you’re stepping out of the front door. Slow, and deliberate like you were giving him another chance - a thousand more. Sighing out a defeated, “It’s been years.” It has. “And we’re just running in circles.” You have. “I’m starting to think this is just some game to you.” It wasn’t.

“Wait!” he grasps your hand - soft. The look in your eyes even softer as you turn around to face his desperate face. “Please, sweetheart.”

Satoru doesn’t even know what words he wants to say - let alone whether they’d come out of his heavy mouth. 

So, instead, he’s crashing them into yours. 

Brief. Fleeting. Like each one before this. Too addictive, too short, that he thinks he’s almost imagining it as you pull away gently, until he sees that look in your eyes. 

“Toru, I have a date.”

The fourth kiss.

Satoru’s letting go of you like it burned - and, truly, it felt like some deep, dark part of him was burning down right now. “Great.” That should be hm that should be him that should be- “I’m…happy for you.”

And the last.

He fucked up.

He really, really fucked up.

That first date turned into a second. The second into a third. And unfortunately for Gojo, eventually, you were nearing your one-year anniversary with that asshat you’d met during the early days of your internship. 

He’d seen the man himself once, briefly at another one of Suguru’s famous parties. Ducking out of sight before he could be introduced, yet long enough to know that he wasn’t as tall, or as handsome, or as absolutely fucking hilarious. 

What did he have that Satoru didn’t? 

The answer to that, Satoru’s reminded of every time he’s causing ruckus over at Suguru’s apartment, and sees you walking out of your room, tittering on the phone to none other than your boyfriend. So gorgeous. So not his. 

You, that loser had you.

“If you sigh again I swear I’m shoving this popcorn up your a-”

“It’s a sad movie, Suguru!” he defends, draped across your couch at another one of those movie nights you loved to organize. As usual, there was the popcorn, the god-awful movie (if Satoru picks it), and the arguments. The only thing missing, however, was you. Ugh, something about an “anniversary” and a “seafood date”. Seriously, it’s not like you even enjoyed that new seafood restaurant in town, and he’s sure that bastard didn’t know-

“Satoru.” his best friend’s deadpan voice cuts through his little reverie. “We’re watching Mean Girls.”

And he’s barely even opening his mouth to snark back before-

SLAM!

Suguru pauses the movie almost immediately, turning to the direction of the front door. “Uh oh.” 

And lo and behold - there was you in all your pissed off, beautiful glory. Throwing your keys on the table, your fiery glare passes over the two men as you stomp to your bedroom. 

“Seafood wasn’t that good, sweetheart?” Satoru calls out behind you, eyes sweeping down your figure. Heart stuttering in his chest when you turn around with your fists clenched, lower lip wobbling in a way that Satoru would both kill whoever made you feel this way and die to be on the other side of those daggers in your eye. 

Sniffing out an icy, “Fuck off, loser and loserette.”

Then in a whirlwind of rage, you’re gone - your bedroom door slamming only slightly more gently than you’d done with the front door. Leaving a deafening silence, and Satoru whining, “Why am I the loserette?”

“Deserved.” Suguru shrugs. Warily eyeing your door, as if it was about to pounce at any given second, “Let her cool down before you give her an aneurysm at least.” Unpausing the television, propping his feet back up, “S’enough having to deal with you on top of a boyfriend like that.”

And that has Satoru perking up in interest - both figuratively, and literally as he snatches the remote and pauses the movie. “Wait wait wait what-” Holding it way out of Suguru’s reach, “What do you mean a ‘boyfriend like that’?”

Scoffing, “Funny. Now give me back the remote.”

A beat of silence passes. One. Two.

Only then does it dawn on Suguru that this might just not be some strange prank to stroke Satoru’s ego, and he was actually  more serious than he’d ever seen him. Damn. 

“Bro, have you really never met the guy or something? He’s a complete tool. I don’t know what happened, but this breakup was a long time coming.”

Satoru blinks, feeling a red hot surge of anger. “What? Seriously? Why didn’t you do anything about it?”

“You think I didn’t try?” he sighs, running a hand through his hair at the other’s uncharacteristic silence. “Hah, and just imagine, the man was talking about marriage, too. As if.”

And suddenly, Satoru’s hit with an image of you walking down the aisle. Not something he was a stranger to, but it still takes him aback. The sway of the fabric beneath his fingers, your lips against his. Hell, in that split-second he even dreams up how Nanamin would be crying very reluctant tears of joy. 

Everything. Everything that wasn’t his.

His fist tightens around the remote, until he could hear the cracking of plastic. Mind whirling with the thought of you and him and you. How he wished it was him and you. “I would’ve been better.”

Oh. 

Shit. 

“I- fuck this. Suguru, since elementary school I…”

And, well, Satoru’s so busy putting that extra physics seminar he took in university to work - trying to calculate the odds of surviving a jump out of this seven-storey window - that he almost misses Suguru’s low hum, a distant, almost barely-audible little interruption, “Well duh.”

“Hold on.” he’s snatching away the remote that had somehow slithered its way into the other’s hands once again. Ignoring his best friend’s croak of protests to pause in the middle of Regina George being hit by the bus - which, he felt was strangely enviable right now. “That was- what? YOU KNOW?”

“Huh? Even my parents know, the only one that doesn’t is her.”

“...”

Satoru didn’t know how Suguru seemed so calm, but he felt like he was about to spontaneously combust. Heart stuttering in his chest as he sideglances at your firmly shut door - like he was just waiting for you to jump out and tell him this was some elaborate prank. 

Begging for you to come - it would’ve hurt less.

But you don’t.

Fuck. 

And the only response he gets is a low whistle, before a phone is being shoved in his face - flashlight illuminating that crimson blush. “Damn, the great Gojo Satoru speechless? The groupchat is gonna love this, might even send it to my sister, y’know.” 

He didn’t care - didn’t give a shit if this video made rounds to Gakuganji himself. Only one thought racing through his mind right now. 

“But why aren’t you punching me like in elementary school?” 

And Satoru knows he’s smart - intelligent even. Hell, he was the valedictorian, the youngest employee to claw their way up to being on the board of directors. But he’s never felt more stupid when Suguru breathes out a bewildered, “Dude. That was for blaming me for the paper planes.” 

“Oh.”

Then the movie is unpaused. 

---

The last time you kissed Gojo Satoru was at the doorstep to that overpriced penthouse of his, exactly a year ago today. 

The last time you saw Gojo Satoru was just a few hours ago, lounging around your living room like he owned it. Honestly, he might as well have been part of the furniture at this point - like some expensive, fluffy couch. One that prattled on about your “dumbass boyfriend” and god-knows-what else to rile you up just for the fun of it.

Which is why it was odd to step out of your bedroom - eyes just a bit puffy, throat still tight - to a suspiciously quiet hallway. 

The lights were turned off, nothing but the pouring rain sounding from outside, television paused on some rerun of The Princess Diaries. Damn, you told those idiots not to start that one without you.

“Sugu?” you call, finding his bedroom empty. “Thought tonight was movie night?” Padding across the empty apartment, contemplating whether or not to get your phone and call him when-

Ding!

Ah, there. 

You roll your eyes as you head towards the front door, ready to give Suguru a piece of his mind for going out at this ungodly hour and forgetting his key. Seriously, what if you opened the door and he was hurt, or worse, or…

Satoru. 

Speaking a mile a minute.

Satoru.

“-florist was closed and the store clerk looked at me like I was crazy but I got this for-” he pauses abruptly, as if realizing something with a jolt. “-you.”

“You- what-” you don’t know where to look - at the drenched, disheveled Satoru filling your doorframe - rain in his hair, curtaining his frantic eyes, drenching his snug t-shirt. Or at the obscenely large bouquet of cheap strawberry lollipops being placed gently into your arms. 

What follows was an electric silence - and you have half the mind to tease Satoru for finally shutting the fuck up for once in his life. 

But, no. Instead, you eye the way he stands stubbornly at the doorway, fists clenched, blue eyes locked so intensely on yours that it was like they burned. 

Face flushed a familiar pretty pink that makes you realize that shit, he might be taller, voice deeper, broad shoulders tight against his t-shirt - but this was still the same boy that cried when you stole his favorite Digimon card in middle school. The same one that kissed you underneath a dingy slide, smelling of strawberry lollipops.

It’s the steady tap! tap! tap! of the water droplets from his hair that have you tearing your traitorous eyes from his see-through white t-shirt.

Guess you’ve both done some growing up since then.

“You loser.”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

The pink wrapping of the bouquet rustles as your grip tightens. “He proposed to me today, y’know.” and yet, your quiet, even voice was the only thing ringing in Satoru’s ears. He jolts, as if some visceral, primal part of himself had been poked awake. Breathing heavy, fists clenching until he could feel the neat indents of his fingernails on his palm. Of course. He’s late. He’s late he’s late he’s late-

That is, until you’re plowing on, “I said no.”

“Huh?”

You think back to the stuffy restaurant, the man sitting from across from you - how wrong it felt. And all it took were those four words for you to realize that. “I said no.” 

Satoru snaps his head up, stepping close - so close. Voice strained like he wasn’t asking - begging. Praying, “Why?”

“We…” you raise a brow at the way Satoru flinches as you trail off. So desperate. A smirk makes its way onto your face, “...we haven’t divorced yet, right?”

And then you’re kissing him - or maybe he’s kissing you. 

Fuck, you don’t know - nor do you really care right now. Not when Satoru’s got his lips crashing against yours for the fifth time in your life, kissing you like it would be the last. Big arms dipping down to your waist, pulling you so tight against his muscled frame that he had half the mind to wonder whether it hurt. 

“Love this. Love the way you kiss me- fuck-” he’s spitting against your lips, kicking the door shut behind him. “Oh- would ya get mad if I-” he tries to get out through kisses. Only to suck on your pretty lips with a pained grunt. “If I-” Again and again, like it killed him to part. “-hah- celebrated right now?”

“Yes.” You’re letting the bouquet fall to the foor, white-knuckling that useless, drenched excuse of a shirt. “Now kiss me properly, Toru.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Such a sloppy mix of teeth and hands and him. Shoving a knee between your legs, making up for years and years of late nights with nothing but his fist and the pretty thought of you. 

“Yeah, that’s it, sweetheart.” Satoru breathes out, as your urgent fingers that dispose of his shirt, feeling the gorgeous dips and curves of years of hard work to impress you. “Suck on m’tongue pretty- fuck-” His own fisting your shirt, pulling. Ripping.

“Toru!”

“I want you.” He’s letting the poor, tattered pieces drop in a pile on the floor, trailing a hand between your damp thighs before he can stop himself. “Oh how I’ve wanted you. And I don’t care if I have to buy fifty new outfits to make up for it.”

And it’s the feeling of his long index stroking up your sopping slit through your shorts that has you pulling away with a gasp. Delicate little strings of saliva snapping from Satoru’s kiss-bitten lips. “If we continue like this…” your voice wavers as he presses hot kisses along your collarbone. “-my brother’s gonna walk in.”

“...wouldn’t wanna relive that playground kiss, huh?”

It’s all he says before picking you up so easily, hands resting on your ass. Giving a playful spank ass you wrap your legs around his toned waist. 

And it’s sloppy.

Both his lips still hotly on yours and the way he’s stumbling urgently to your room through pure muscle memory. Pulling away only when you’re all splayed out so prettily for him on your mattress.

“Blue?” he breathes, pulling your shorts off. And it comes out strained - like the very sight of your panties - all soaked and flimsy with your slick - has whatever’s remaining of Satoru’s sanity flying out the window. “Blue? Oh, you’ve gotta have planned this, you little minx.” his hot breath hits your cunt as he shifts down the bed, tongue drawing languid, wet little circles on your inner thigh. “Because don’t tell me this was all for him?”

It was coincidence - or maybe fate - but that doesn’t stop you from giving Satoru a slow, teasing nod. Muttering out, “So what if it was?”

The only answer you get is thumb hooked around your shorts, pulling it just enough so that your brother’s best friend can spy your pretty pussy.

“Well then.” he chuckles at the way you jump when his fingertip just barely grazes your clit. “Guess I jus’ hafta prove m’better.”

A low groan is falling from his lips as soon as they meet your puffy ones, giving your pretty clit a chaste peck. Lingering long enough that he’s sure your sweet sweet juices cover his mouth.

And oh Satoru’s sure he’ll never forget the way your jaw falls slack, glassy eyes following his every move as he runs his tongue along his glossy lips. Savoring your candied taste, “Never kissed you like this before, huh?” 

Fuck, you’re sweeter than he’s imagined.

You whine desperately, something that has him smirking smugly, “Hah, what? Cat got your tongue?”

“You’re better when you shut up.” It’s all you can do to buck your hips into Satoru’s pretty face - not that you had to, because one taste of your dripping cunt and he was addicted. Surging forwards until he was nose-deep, locking your ankles around his head with a firm yank.

And you can’t lie - maybe you’ve imagined this exact scene a few times before on those lonely nights. But you just never expected Satoru to be so depraved. Desperate.

“Ngh- fuck, Toru-” you reach a hand down to thread your fingers through his hair, tugging his face up. But Satoru doesn’t stop - not even for a second. Tongue still dipping to spread your swollen folds with his tongue, looking you right in the eyes as he murmurs a strangled, “Mhm?” 

“Thought you were gonna prove you’re better, hm?”

So goading. So like you. 

At this, Satoru pulls back ever-so-slightly to laugh - laugh. His plump, glistening lips curling into a humorless little grin, “Oh I will.” Thumb circling your throbbing clit. Just dragging your twitching body across the silky sheets close to his, one hand pinning your hips down. Hard. “I will.”

Loving his new favorite place between your legs one hand toys with your clit, quick, messy little patterns. Tongue even more so. 

“Not just better.” he grunts, “Gonna make you cum so much harder, too.” Having your thighs shake with each word hissed out into your cunt, each turn of his deft fingers. “Till I’m the only thing on your mind. Me.”

And it’s all you can do to let out choked up groans of his name, back arching off the plush mattress to let him make out with your cunt deeper. Sloppier. So, so starved with the way he’s speeding up, tongue dragging across your walls. In and out in and out in and-

“Fuck! Hngh-” you angle his head - and he lets you. “There- Toru-”

Honestly, you didn’t even have to tell Satoru - he could feel it. Could feel it in the way your plushy walls are squeezing his hot tongue so harsh, until it was almost difficult to fuck your pussy so sloppily. In the way you’re letting out such delicious whines each time he grazes against those sweet spots. 

“There? Hah- I know.” he pulls away to muse, and your cute, disappointed whine goes straight to his already rock-hard cock. “Did he?”

He didn’t. And you’re shaking your head so pathetically - in a way you’d be embarrassed about usually. 

But that’s the last thing you’re thinking bout because you feel it - the cold, sinful feeling of Satoru spitting on your filthy cunt. Once. Twice. Blue eyes widening in delight at the way the mess of spit and slick drip down your slit. 

“Cute.” his tongue smoothes over the slutty pool, and the only thing your delirious brain can make out now is a low moan of, “So? Who’s better?”

It’s all you can do to choke out a broken little, “T-T-” Face burning at the way he was so clearly enjoying your struggle. And, well, no matter painfully hard it made his dick - he had to go just a bit easy on his girl, right?

“Shhhh, s’alright.” you flinch as he shoves two absolutely drenched fingers into your mouth, making so much more of a mess of it than necessary. Drinking in your cute gags, “I was asking her.” He’s making your head spin with the way he’s speeding up. “N’ she’s hah- very talkative.” Words muffled, and slurring together - like he was drunk off of you and your cunt. “Let’s hear what she has to ngh- say, huh?”

And with that, he’s alternating between lapping at your clit and squeezing into your sloppy entrance - like he couldn’t - didn’t - want to make up his mind. Oh, with your teary mewls strangled, the sound of Satoru making out with cunt is so loud. The squelches so obscene. 

“Fuuuuck.” he drawls. “Louder than I thought. I think she says I’m better, don’t you think?” 

You angle your head just right to catch the way his jaw grinds deeper into you, eating you out like his last meal. Your slick drooling down his chin so sinfully. 

“Ngh- fuck fuck fuck- ngh-” your yelps are dreamy, feeling like you were losing your mind with the way he was stretching you out. 

Like you were about to snap. Any second now. 

But Satoru’s only increasing his movements, drawing out your little moans. “And I think she’s saying…”  Getting sloppier. More erratic - and it didn’t matter if his fingers were cramping up now, cock aching with the need to be inside you. “-that she’s about to cum.”

You do - so hard and loud - both you and your cunt. 

You’re shaking, all but gushing all over Satoru’s mouth, tight pussy squeezing his tongue so hard. Barely even realizing the searing grip you’ve got on his hair as you drag your sloppy pussy all over his mouth.

But Satoru doesn’t mind - he gladly welcomes it, in fact. Tonguefucking your snug cunt senselessly, letting you chase your high as roughly as you wanted. Over and over.

Even when you’re vision isn’t as spotty as before, even when nothing’s coming out of your mouth but little whimpers. Your breathing dying down until all that rings in your barely-lucid mind were those obscene noises of Satoru’s lips all on yours. 

“T-Toru-” you whine, big fat tears pricking at your hazy eyes. “M’so sensitive.”

And of course this is Satoru, the same boy who’s been pushing your buttons for years just to giggle at your adorable reactions. Which is why he grins against your twitching cunt, “So?”

It takes everything in you to raise your head off the pillow that just seemed to be swallowing you whole, and even more to shoot Satoru a half-hearted glare. “So m’gonna ngh- assume you’re jus’ a pussy with a s-smaller dick than-”

You don’t get to finish your sentence - he doesn’t let you. Because Satoru’s fumbling with his belt, peeling off those still-drenched pants just enough for you to admire his clothed erection. 

And, shit, admittedly you expected him to have a big dick - having been subjected to way too much locker room talk with your brother - but this was ridiculous. 

“What? Too big?” He flashes you that infuriating grin. Palming his rock-hard cock through his boxers at the way your beautiful eyes trace the outline of his cock, all swollen and big. So intimidatingly big. “Damn, sweetheart, if I knew that this was how I’d get that feisty lil’ mouth of yours to shut up then I’d have done it a lot sooner.” 

And you don’t even know if you’re breathing, the pads of your fingers dancing along his bulge. Tracing those prominent veins. Thumbing that little damp spot at his fat head. “You wouldn’t have.” 

He hisses as your soft hands dip into the hem of his underwear. Voice cracking slightly, “I wouldn’t.”

Then you’re gasping - in sync with Satoru’s low moan - as you finally let him spring free. Thick cock hitting his sculpted abs, red tip smearing precum in a lewd little pool. Weeping and so so angry at the sight of you.

At the heavenly feeling of your thumb teasing under his sensitive slit, “Oh, shit.” 

He’s throwing his head back when you give an experimental pump, all the way from his pretty tip to the tufts fo white at his hilt. Fist gliding all over the thumping veins. Bucking his hips up like such a slut into your touch. 

“O-oh fuck.” he cracks an eye open at the way your hand looked so small compared to his dick, how well you were taking care of him. “Been ngh- dreaming of this since I learned what handjobs were, y’know? Hah- shit- ya gotta stop before I fuckin’ pass out.”

And Satoru thinks he could cum right then and there at the way you’re bringing your soaked index up to your mouth. Batting your lashes as you suck on them with a lewd pop! “From jus’ that?”

“You have no idea.”

That’s all it takes for Satoru to throw your still-quivering thighs over his shoulders, effectively shutting up whatever tease is on the tip of your sharp tongue by kissing your swollen folds with his fat head. Giving it one, long drag. 

Your mouth is sagging open at the slow, torturous teasing. The sheer anticipation that had your mouth running, “S-so much for ah- jus’ being ‘friends’, huh?”

“Oh, sweetheart.” And you’re flinching from Satoru’s deep, dark tone. The way he’s bracing his fingers so bruisingly on your hips, reeling all the way back till his tip was just kissing your hole. “We stopped being friends the day you married me on that playground.” 

And then he’s slamming in - pushing past that first, feeble ring of resistance, gummy walls stretching out so perfectly for him. As if he fit right in - and he tells you that. Pants it into your open mouth a little over fifteen times, in fact. 

“Shiiiit, look at you.” he can’t tear his eyes away from the side of your lips stretching so wide to try and milk him. Sloppy entrance stretching out like magic. “S’like you’re made for me, huh? This pussy is made f’me?”

“Ngh- fuck, Toru! S’too big-” you keen, feet flattening on the mattress. As if to escape. To maybe fucking breathe.  

Not even half-way in yet, but aleady torn between pushing away and sinking yourself down on his swollen cock for more more more-

“Don’t you dare run away.” he warns, looking up at you through his long lashes. “I’ve waited too long for this. N’ you’re not taking this pretty pussy away any time soon.” Inch by fucking inch. Grinding in short, sharps jabs - no rhythm of rhyme, like they were genuinely out of control. “Way too f-fuckin’-” All the way until your puffy folds was meeting his hilt. Finally. All the way in. “-long.”

And once Satoru had you split apart on his dick - had those tears rolling down your cheeks, cunt swallowing him so sluttily - it’s like something snaps. 

Because he doesn’t waste a second - he’s already wasted almost two decades, anyway - filling you up with his mean hips. Not fucking easing you into it because you always did bring out that part of him, the part that him looping two strong arms around your waist. Pulling. 

“Oh- f-fuck c’mere.” Satoru gasps, pressing your body so crushingly against his. Kissing your shaky shoulers, your sweaty forehead, the gentleness so contrasting to his hips.“God I’ve missed out- fuck fuck fuck-” 

You’ve never seen the great Gojo Satoru - campus sex symbol - so uncomposed. Eyes half-lidded, just boring into yours, mouth slack in a soft oh! as he drags his cock all over inside your gummy walls. And the sight is so heavenly that you make the mistake the mistake of cracking a minute smile.

Just barely curling your lips before - “Don’t smile at me like that.” He’s dipping down a hand to roll your ravaged clit between two bullying fingers. “Fuck, she’s gonna be the death of me. Right?”

You keen at the- stimulation? The strech? The sheer embarrassment as you realize that Satou’s still talking to your sloppy pussy? Nodding so mockingly up at you as he plows on, “Mhm, she says you needa be ngh- knocked down a god, you’re tight- peg or two. So- get- ready-” 

He’s using this as an excuse to sit up on his knees, dragging you onto his lap so easily like some ragdoll. 

“That’s more like it.”

You’re sliding deeper down his painfully hard cock - all the way till his heavy balls rest beneath your ass, clit rubbing against his pelvis every time he bounces you like some slut.  

Deep. Ruthless.

“Keep your eyes open, sweetheart.” He chuckles, and you’re screwing open your eyes that you don’t even remember shutting. Trying so hard to stop crying out at the feeling of the curve of his dick massaging your walls. “Ya gotta hngh- see the o-only one who’d fuckin’ you properly, right?”

You squeal when he’s taking your clit captive once more. Finger quick, deft. “Y-yes.”

But that wasn’t enough for Satoru - it might as well never be. Because he’s only ramming his hips up further. Like he’s pushing into your stomach, your lungs, all the way into your cockdrunk brain. Fat head alternating between kissing your poor, abused cervix and all those sweet spots he’d mapped out with his tongue.

“Sounded unsure to me.” he’s pouty against your hardened nipples bouncing enticingly in his face. Fingers quirking faster on your clit, “Maybe I should ngh- stop then?”

“No!” Your hips stutter against Satoru’s. Nails clawing down the sculpted panes of his shoulders, leaving red angry marks for him to take as a sign tomorrow morning that no, it wasn’t just one of his dreams this time. “No no no- m’sure. You’re the only one makin’ me feel this way.”

You can feel the way he’s twitching wildly at your words, dick thumping harder inside your sensitive cunt. 

He punctures each word with a heavy, calculated thrust. Hand stretching and squeezing open your cunt from behind to let him slide impossibly deeper. “Hmmm, I’m not convinced.” 

Your stupid mouth is only capable of letting out broken, choked-up little moans of his name, ankles locking around those dimples at the end of his spine. “S’you–”

“Still not convinced.”

But he’s still speeding up his movements, just dragging you up and down his cock. “Who else made you hah- feel this good?” Sure to claim you from the inside out - to leave marks everywhere. Heavy balls on your ass, weeping tip on your cervix, lips bruised as you whimper at his murmured, “That ex of yours?” Biting down your neck, “That barista that always flirts with you?” Pulling away only to breathe into your lips, “Who?”

“ I- fuck it’s only you, Toru.”

“Sound convincing to you?” Satoru hums down at your cunt, biting his lower lip at the way you were milking him so good. Your slick soaking him all the way down to his balls - so needy in a way he never thought he’d see. “Yeah-” be breathes, nosing at your neck. “She agrees- fuck does this tight lil’ pussy of yours agree.” A few tears, a few gorgeous marks down his back, and he was finally convinced. “You’re mine.”

You don’t even realize it when you’re cumming, and Satoru doesn’t either.

Both of you too caught up in each other to recognize that familiar, white-hot pleasure running down your spine - all the way down to where he was so mercilessly buried in your cunt.  

And you’re well into the blood roaring deafeningly in your ears, the sight of Satoru - all wrecked - blurring as he fucks his hips up. Harsh. Eyes rolling to the back of his head as he paints your quivering walls white. 

Cumming and cumming so hard that you can feel his seed dribbling down your thighs, making such a mess all over Satoru’s lap. Your poor, overfilled cunt soon bloated and unable to keep up with it.

“Toru–” you whine, like a prayer. Milking the fucking soul out of him while he gently paws at your messy hair.

“Shhh, I know I know, sweetheart.” Such a stark contrast to the way he was filling you up like his favorite sex toy. Not even bothering to move anymore, one hand on your hip, moving your limp body up and down his sensitive cock to fuck it deeper. The other still playing with your clit, “S’alright, my girl”

Satoru’s hands never leave you, and he prays that now that he got a taste - well, you better be alright with them not leaving you for as long as he lives.

“As long as you live, huh?” you chuckle groggily, a noise so dreamy that Satoru can’t even be mad that he said it out loud. “And all that riling me up these years. Do you have a degradation kink or something?”

“Well, only one way to find out~”

“Oh shut up you-”

SLAM!

“Yooo, I bought dinner from that- WHAT THE FUCK?”

There were only two more lessons to be learned:

Always lock the door. Always. And in case you don’t, a bouquet of lollipops will do the trick to a Suguru reeling from the newest addition to the family. 

Cheap takeout tastes better with an apologetic Suguru, and an ice pack to his cheek - and you to kiss it better.

A/N. Can you tell I kept listening to that one Artemas song while writing this?

Plagiarism not authorized.