#you can see how his heart dropped
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Fangs of Fortune - Episode 26.
#fangs of fortune#tian jia rui#hou ming hao#cdrama#my gifs#gif warning#yichen's face after 'a can' t promise you that'#you can see how his heart dropped#his face journey in this.... priceless
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something something blood-soaked hands cradling your face something something
anyway here's the post btw
#what if post dp3 logan struggles to emotionally accept that wade Will Actually For Real Survive Anything#and one time they are fighting some random baddies#and they somehow get in a few shots straight to wade's cranium and he drops like a bag of slutty slutty potatoes#and logan goes full berserker trying to get to him#like he just massacres everyone in his way and wade still isnt getting up ohnoohnoohnonotagainohno#(healing factor or no a few direct shots to the brain stem/t box take a bit to recover from)#(no more than five minutes but it's an eternity to logan)#and his heart sinks to the very core of the earth as he kneels down next to wade's body#and his hands are shaking and soaked in blood and he can't seem to sheathe his claws in his dazed adrenalined state#he tries to peel back wade's mask and fear is just *pounding* through his system because in that moment#all he can see are the xmen dead in massive pools of blood#and that feeling of unreality is rushing over him like thiscantbehappeningthiscantbehappeningnotagainohgodnotagain#wade's still and unresponsive and there is so Much BLOOD (hard to tell how much is Wade's and how much is just on his hands)#and logan doesn't even realize he's crying until suddenly wade's eyes light up like a computer restarting#and he's smiling and gasping and joking immediately#âwell howdy there hot stuff what did I miss?â#and then he clocks that logan is Not Okay#â... well gee willikers golly goddamn peanut 'twas only a flesh wound! no need to go all waterworks over lil ol meâ#âyou know it would take a helluva lot more than that to make me shuffle off this here mortal coil!â#âsee all better I'm hunky dory peachy keen right as fucking rainâ#âI mean cmon I can't have been out for more than five minutes so let's just go back to you being exasperated with my bullshit antics okay??#â...okay sugarboobs? snookums? babycakes?.... Logan?â#and they just sit there on the floor holding each other for a while#wade babbling and logan crying about everything he's lost and wondering distantly how he has come to care so much#about this blithering jokester in like barely a week#that the thought of losing him brought him crashing back to the worst memory of his extremely rough life#anyway that's enough tag mini fic lolol I'm having feelings about my own drawing I guess đ”#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine art
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Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance - Sora and Riku in The Grid
#kingdom hearts dream drop distance#khddd#sora#riku#the grid#my gif#side by side comparison of their grid outfits#this is one of the few times where sora isn't wearing his necklace#instead it's etched into his clothes like all of the other glowy markings#riku's pants remind me of his kh1 outfit with how it's baggier up top and thins out at his ankles#but that's a look shared with the both of them#sora looks like he has armor plates on his shoulders and i like how they mimic shape of the sleeves of his jacket#i just realized you can really see how thin sora is since some parts of the suit around his torso appear to be skin tight
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Godly Intervention
You guys have voted and picked.
THE LORE!
So here we are. With lore :3
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Get in here @spotaus
*---------------*
Reaper glances around for a moment as he searches Outertale. Trying to not be seen by any universe goers. He should be somewhere here...
Reaper makes sure to stay out of sight. best to not spread panic when he is seen in public.
Luckily this shouldn't be too hard.
Error is very predictable with where he hangs out.
The only reason it took Reaper this long to do this is because he is busy and at work.
He floats to the next asteroid and spots the one he had been looking for. He goes over and sees Error just tugged away between the rocks as he works on something in his hands. it looks like a beanie but it is rather small. It is very unlike Error to make somethign the wrong size when he sets his mind to it.
Error doens't even look up "No i don't know where the paint drinker is."
Reaper crosses his arms as he floats next to him "I am not looking for Ink. I was looking for you."
Error hums and keeps looking at his knitting "Will congrats. you found me. I am busy."
Reaper leans against the rock "This is not something that can wait Error."
Error sitll does not looking up "I am not in the mood for more god lessons Reaper."
Reaper just watches the other and speaks "I know you are hiding him."
Error's hand spasms before he continues knitting. One of the loop is now not the right size but Error ignores it "I don't know what you are talking about."
Reaper sighs "Error I know your magic. I know you put a wall of some sort around an universe. And I have seen the code change in other universes as well. I know you moved stuff around. You aren't nearly as sneaky as you think you are." and he glares at him "Which is why i am here. You need to be more careful."
Error actually stops and shoots him a curious glance "What?"
Reaper just stares at him "You need to be more careful and clean your tracks better. Your magic is very obvious and it is bond to get noticed by other gods." he gives him a look "And Fate and Balance both will be deeply unhappy if they find out."Balance had not been happy when it became obvious that Dream, and so assumingly Nightmare, picked something outside her domain.
Fate hadn't minded much until it became clear that by their picks both of them could change the endings of certain stories.
Long and short of it. Both are deeply unhappy with the twins. But Dream had managed to find his inner punk and just told them he doens't see how that is his issue anymore as he doesn't work for or with either of them.
Again. Fate and Blance are very unhappy. Especially if they find out that Error of all gods knew where Ngihtmare has been hiding this whole time.
Error keeps frowning at him and looks to the side "How did you figure out?"
Reaper sighs as he rubs his neck "As i said. I felt your traces of magic all around. but i didn't know why. Then I saw a viewing window and could hear Killer shouting for Nightmare about dinner. I left before i learned more." plausable deniability. Makes it easier to lie to gods as long as a part of your answer is still the truth.
Error curses and nods "Fuck yeah. I will keep an eye on my windows... Not used to having people come by."
Reaper nods "You are lucky that Ink has the memory os a sponge."
Error snorts "please. If i was lucky he would ahve a working memory and i would havne't to remind him of the importance of destroying every few weeks... or our fucking truce for that matter." he glares into the distance.
Reaper sighs "Look. All I am saying. Stay safe and try to be more cautious. If Fate and Balance find out you are in trouble."
Error laughs "hah! Not like it matters. They hate me anyway."
reaper shoots him a serious look "They can seriously hurt you Error. your domain is connected to theirs."
Error shrugs "euh. They didn't care enough to stop the war between Ink and me. Why care about this?"
Reaper knows why. The two hate losing. and the twins finding a way to sneak out of their overwhelming domain? Yeah, they see that as losing.
Reaper sighs as he turns. He did what he came here for "I just figured you should know."
Error frowns "How much did you see? through the window?"
Reaper tilts his skull. strange but sure. "I saw nothing. just heard Killer calling for nightmare. I left right after that."
Error sighs in relieve and nods "good... Why are you even helping me?"
Reaper gives error a look before shrugging "You and Geno are friends." which is the loosest way to describe their situation and weird soul split kinda brother situation.
Error snorts loudly as he shakes his own skull "Your crush on him is hilarious by the way." he looks back to his knitting thing and starts to undo some of the work to get to the out of order loop. "And you call me obvious." Error snorts to himself.
Reaper glares at him "Just be less obvious." and he quickly leaves.
Sigh.
he will catch both of them for more god explanation and training later. He needs to do stuff.
*---------------*
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#utmv#realageau#reaper sans#error sans#No baby this time.#Instead? you get LORE!#also reaper and error interacting :D#a short one today but it is mostly just a way to set some stuff up :3#also some afterdeath#for the heart <3 specifically mine#Also no. Reaper does not know that Nightmare is baby. if he had known reaper would not be talking to error but to the gang because#THAT IS A GODLING?! How are you planning on raising a godling?!#error figured that reaper doens't know the big big thing about nightmare is is trying to play it cool.#He is going to hit himself later for leaving the viewing window open#He just isn't used to people coming and going from his anti-void! It is't suposed to be easy to travel!!#yet error keeps meeting people who can!#Okay this was the lore drop :3 See you guys later and around.#(and ssh i forgot to add a title i fixed it don't worry)
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Crazy wild shit man
#how are we straight up accepting the emmrich romance lich choice for how itâs written#does anyone feel me#hello???#no one else can see the inherent tragedy in this?#maybe Iâm too mort ass pilled but um. trading away your life to escape death is no life at all#and why canât rook be like. you killed yourself and took yourself away from me and now you have no skin for me to caress and no warmth for#me to share and though itâs still your consciousness youâve a) gained a perspective I can never ever share and b) you have accepted#outliving me so thoroughly that I will be just a drop in the bucket of your life even if I get another good 50 years out of life.#why canât I ask him is all this worth it without your heart????!??#why canât I break it off?!!!???#why do I HAVE to celebrate this choice#emmrich volkarin#dav spoilers#and thatâs not even getting into the philosophical questions surrounding fear and what it means to live like.#emmrich⊠has ocd. and I have no doubt that those fears are truly debilitating (despite this almost never coming up in the narrative)#and essentially this choice is one about how to deal with it. acceptance vs avoidance. and we see no consequences for either!!!#if he chooses to accept this fear as a part of him and work through it WE SHOULD SEE THAT WORK#he should struggle!! and that struggle should lead him towards making peace with that fear#AND!!#if he chooses to escape from that fearâ to actively avoid ever resolving itâ we should see him struggle with that too!!!!#molding your entire existence around this fear to the point you embody it⊠where are the emotional consequences for that!?#WHY DO Iâ AS SOMEONE WHO SUPPOSEDLY LOVES HIMâ NOT GET ANY OPPORTUNITY TO PUSH BACK OR ASK SOME TOUGH QUESTIONS?!?#in a game about the tyranny of immortality⊠we can send our beloved to kill his mortal self to come back as an immortal husk.#and weâre not even allowed to be sad abt it the very next scene is some goofy cartoon shit at the lighthouse where every single person just#immediately accepts this reality and has no issues. not even taash đ
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Ink October day twenty-five: Contexture
The act of weaving or assembling parts into a whole.
An arrangement of interconnected parts; a structure.
The arrangement and union of the constituent parts of a thing; a weaving together of parts; structural character of a thing; system; constitution; texture.
#will I ever be normal about them? no. fuck you.#kh xion#kh roxas#kh sora#xion kh#roxas kh#sora kh#roxas#Xion#kingdom hearts xion#xion kingdom hearts#kingdom hearts sora#sora kingdom hearts#roxas kingdom hearts#kingdom hearts roxas#kingdom hearts#kh#blue boi draws#ink october 2023#ink October 2023 day 25#thinking about how Xion isnât just Soraâs replica but Roxasâ as well. girlie has more identity issues then you can shake a stick at#she fights like Roxas she fights like Sora she might even like fighting but she was made for it after all#does the weopon like violence because it enjoys it or because it is a weopon to begin with#Iâd say Sora to a certain extent enjoys fighting (see: the colosseum and the play fighting during childhood) I think he likes fighting peop#and likes fighting with people when the stakes arenât too high. itâs fun. on the other hand I think the closest thing to fighting Roxas#likes is struggle. maybe with some play wrestling or something. but if the person your hitting isnât dropping colour balls he isnât into it#it becomes at best a chore at worst something that would fuck with his trauma. he doesnât wanna be a keyblade master he wants to be normal.#Xion on the other hand is much more complicated. I think she enjoys it (her choosing to train on their day off) but more in the way that#she finds it satisfying instead of fun. she likes Completing Tasks and Improving and things that when she focuses on past reveal she finds#uncomfortable. running out of space but Phemiecâs All I Want. âall I want is to know the wanting is my ownâ ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgg
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EVIE !!!!!
I SAW U USE MY ART AS UR THEME SO I WANNA DO A REMAKE !!! mostly cause the other one was full of mistaks hurrrrr orz
keeping the color palette the same so itd still fit + use softer shading so convey how soft u are + moze is now IN UR HAND !!!! >:3
oh nick :â)
#đŠââŹđ .#ćœĄ cherishing.#ćœĄ inbox.#ćœĄ nick!#AAAJSNSNS i did my makeup in record time because i had to respond to this asap !! T T i have 25 tags left and so much to say so letâs see#how efficiently i can use my words to convey my gratitude !! T T im actually losing my mind at the addition of mozeâs little hands .. i#i will get into that later âŠ. i cannot believe u revamped it for me!!!! thank you nick ?!?! đ„č i went to gaze đ at the two!! though i think#both are so lovely â i love the curl to my hair !!! i sleep with my hair in those heatless curl rods â so they always tend to be wavier at#the bottom since the top comes loose â THOUGH ITS A RANDOM DETAIL AHAJJ I THOUGHT it looked so accurate !! >< U DID THE BOW EARRINGS UUURGH#i love drop earrings !!!!! and the bow matches with the big one â i noticed the bow & headband is a bit different!! I LOVE BOTH â omg and t#god im going to run out of tags - AND THE SLEEVE!!! ok i shouldnât point out every difference akajjajaj i am just so excited looking at bot#of them!! I LOVE HOW YOU DRAW ME IM SO?? CAN I SAY THAT??? the little sparkle is spot on because !!! i am showing off mini moze!! to everyo#everyone* T T !!! HE IS SO PRECIOUS AHAHAJSN his gigantic hood ⊠and his signature (á á) oh but he is so cute âŠ. T T NICK YOU MAKE HIM LOOK#SO SQUISHABLE URK ITS SO SPOT ON . HIS SQUISHABLE-NESS REALLY SHINES IN YOUR AWESOME ART STYLE (i donât think i have ever reblogged somethi#something* from you without mentioning your art style) HES SO TINY AAASJSN MY HEART FELT SO HAPPY SEEING HIS LITTLE HANDS âŠ. HIS HANDS ARE#FHE SIZE OF MY EARRING đđđđ oh my god i just noticed you gave him a little blush and i want to lock myself underground /pos HE IS SO CUTE#IN YOUR STYLE IUUUAGGHHHH IM IN SUCH AGONY /pos :â) oh i donât think i will get over his little hands ISNSKDKX im feeling so violently#affectionate staring at it â THE WAY HE IS DRAPED OVER MY HAND IS SO SJSNDNCJ he is my âŠ. most treasured little crow âŠ. that i am showing#everyone with the happiest smile ever âŠ. THANK YOU NICK ))): and the fact that you kept the colors for my theme is so ?!?! you are so thou#UGH TUMBLR â you are so thoughtful with all of your gifts towards your friends!! noting all the details and such ): oh i adore you ): u sai#softer shading to convey how soft i am but i have quite literally melted into a puddle of goo so now am i soft ?! i believe i am just a#puddle in the corner over there in the nick museum -> waiting to be mopped -> OH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH SOB THANK YOU ))): i was about to say#that i donât even know what to say to convey my gratitude â but i have said something! just not enough to get out my feelings ^^; never eno#ALSO I LOVE HOW YOU DID MY LASHES AAHHHNXNX )): my eyes !!! your style !!! oh i am really in such agony /POS URGH AND I KEEP LOOKING AT HIS#LITTLE HANDS AND WANTING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS BUNDLE OF VIOLENT AFFECTION I GET FROM IT T T HES SO TINY AJANSDto ruffle his hair with#the very tip of my pinkie ⊠trembling trying not to knock him over âŠâŠ. i must make him a little spot in my purse âŠ. with little blankets to#keep him nice and cozy âŠ. nick words cannot express my gratitude â thank you!!! both versions are so stunning đ„č I REALLY APPRECIATE IT (<-#severe understatement) (the most severe understatement) your art is always so stunning#when im home i must come back and add some good reaction photos !!!! THANJ YOU SNIFFLE YOU ARE TOO KIND )))))):#similar to the first time u visited my inbox âŠ. if I ever spot a kofianywhere đđđđđđïž!!
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Tag drop: Aventurine.
#[ aventurine. ] mr. cavalier gambler: uptight. overcautious. inferiority complex. you've won so much but you're still so afraid of losing.#[ aventurine: ic. ] they see only the straight flush. they don't know the other hand below the table clutching your chips for dear life.#[ aventurine: inquiries. ] time to make a move my friend. say goodbye before you shuffle off. it's⊠best to die without regrets.#[ aventurine: countenance. ] now go. and pick the clothes that you like. then choose your desired identity and use them well.#[ aventurine: introspection. ] âsleep is the rehearsal of deathâ? why does life slumber? because we are not ready for the final rest.#[ aventurine: meta. ] the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. but you've never gone in any other direction.#[ aventurine: etc. ] the chance⊠no matter how small: the potential is what you hang onto. that is what justifies the gamble.#[ aventurine: ipc. ] ⊠i'll give you that and much more than that. the ipc will give you whatever you want. even what you don't want.#[ aventurine: trio. ] three cornerstones who for a measly penacony... offered their everything. you're more united than the family.#[ aventurine: astral express. ] friends: the game has commenced and you cannot choose to decline⊠nor do you have grounds to.#[ aventurine: fate. ] if the dice of fate are always weighted then that is our destiny. why then... do we struggle against it?#[ aventurine: past. ] our paths will cross again beneath kakava's shimmering auroras. farewell: kakavasha.#[ aventurine: luck. ] he's only drunk on the moment that makes his very life quiver. hell is only one decision away from heaven.#[ aventurine: topaz. ] since i survived i realized: wherever you go that's where i'll follow; nobody's promised tomorrow. [ immobiliter. ]#[ aventurine: topaz. ] i never expected the beautiful and kind-hearted director topaz to resort to distorting concepts like that.#[ aventurine: jade. ] it's often used as a counterfeit for jade. but it looks like jade⊠can be substituted for aventurine too.#[ aventurine: veritas ratio. ] unfortunately for him; i make for a more competent conversationalist than the other dimwits around here.#[ aventurine: black swan. ] nothing remains hidden from you⊠does it? i will find my place in the web of your schemes; memokeeper.#[ aventurine: sunday. ] is this what the harmony represents? is it built upon constraint and coercion?#[ aventurine: acheron. ] only by casting aside reason does one truly gamble. âemanatorâ â I know you'll match my wager.#[ aventurine: v. youth. ] but the sun could not kill me and the quicksand sent me back to the embrace of the guild and the ipc.#[ aventurine: v. penacony. ] i seem that way because i am nervous. maybe you can help. what do you say; put our palms together a last time?#[ aventurine: v. future. ] the once falling die has at last landed on its earthly rest. quietly⊠peacefully: it at last landed.#tag drop#[ aventurine: robin. ] you see people. / i see you. [ avaere. ]
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DAX is just so expressive â„ (Patreon)
#My art#SCII#Damned#DAX#Lol#Have I mentioned I love him lately#As if I ever stop talking about how much I love any of them lol#Okay but genuinely these were really nice as warmups they were really easy to just knock out one by one#He's very expressive as Dexter! *handwaves about human neurochemistry and expressions* lol#I had to make his Neutral look extra dead inside to make up for the rest haha#Funnily enough I have actually been watching a series of streams of like VAs and visual artists and writers and stuff#And they are constantly uptalking 2D talksprites as mood-setters for dialogue#So it was really fun to make these with that in the back of my head like ''Yeah! :D They /are/ good at that!''#Very cool expressive medium :D#See if you can spot the first drafts for a few of these :3c#I'll give you a hint: Scared and Sad(? Regretful ig lol) were from some posted doodles#His grumpy one was also a doodle but I didn't post it so it doesn't count lol#Oh yeah and and a lot of these had little accessories like the fear bursts and the little sigh bubble lol I just...forgot them here lol#They're there in spirit please feel the grump lines and sweat drops in your heart <3#I had a heck of a time trying to keep his face consistent with different angles lol aren't VUX nervous to move their necks me#Just gotta actually get into 3D modeling properly smh#I keep finding myself wanting to make more now that this set's done but I'm not sure what expressions! Confused? Focused? He's so subdued#Oooh he'd suit an expression meme wouldn't he <3 Now there's an idea#Might even open an ask game for that if I can find a good one :3c Hehehe
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"Biden is the best choice and he's actually really empathetic and reasonable but also you can't wait for a candidate that won't do genocide and war crimes because to become a presidential candidate you have to be willing to do that" see what you fundamentally don't understand is I'm not waiting for a candidate that won't do war crimes, because I know that. I cannot morally stomach this system, it's a joke to claim its democratic, and AMERICA DELENDA EST. this country is a plague on this Earth
#cipher talk#It's baffling because okay so you know how fucked up this is but you're behaving in a way that clearly indicates you want that this shambli#Disgusting empire to cling to life until after you're dead because it'd make /you/ uncomfortable and inconvenienced#To live through its destruction (the wealthier classes and more privileged experience lesser material changes in state collapse so long as#They aren't too highly ranked/involved in politics. A Sri Lankan wrote an article specifically addressing Americans about this)#It's so dehumanizing! People's blood is so cheap to you! You've just accepted its inevitable that genocide will happen!#Because of how the US operates! You can see no other future! It hardly matters to you!#You say this like the death of Palestinians of Yemenis of Syrians is someone else's dropped ice cream cone#You understand why people hate this country and you understand we deserve it but it just. Hardly matters to you#It feels like madness to watch this. It's disgusting#I keep thinking- it'd be so easy for you to justify my people being killed if violence broke out and it was in your favor#It's unlikely because. Well. America loves 'the church of the martyrs'#But you'd do it if that was favorable. You wouldn't think twice. You might feel a twinge in your heart but that's all#Because we aren't people to you!#We aren't all that important! Not important enough for you do anything more than 'well let's vote a blue in and do some protests'#What's a protest worth if you perpetuate the system and can't see a way out and don't try for a way out?#That's killing a man then putting flowers on his casket. It's /perverse/.#You get used to the idea that Africans die that West Asians die and that's just the way of the world. My g-d do you understand anything??#I watch necrosis take hold my parts of my culture and I watch every good person I know be ground to dust under a military regime#I talk to my friend who got drafted and is trans and may never come out because if they do they can get arrested as a 'prostitute'#I watch the wild hope for the future I was introduced to over radio at 9 years old wither#I watch people risk it anyway because just past the fence they can see they know there are people there#I watch my neighbor to the south crumble and weep because our hands are bloody and it's in part because we bloodied them for the west#And you just think that's how things are.#Fascist white death cult mindset
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Episode 2 my beloved
#Black Out#Snow White Must Die#ë°±ì€êł”ìŁŒìêČ ìŁœìì#god. how do i even begin this... everything is just so raw here. can you imagine being sangcheol in this situation???#he's still an outsider but he recognizes jungwoo. the first prick he met upon his arrival in mucheon + the one who saved him for no reason#and he sees that jungwoo is looking like he's been wounded. even if it seems more of a mental state but he looks injured nonetheless.#then sangcheol's subordinate (the one who said the victim is his friend's mom) dropped the bomb. and sangcheol /knows/ who jungwoo is.#and even if sangcheol isn't the type of person with the most tender heart or would always choose to do pure kindness every given chance#doesn't mean his heart doesn't crack when jungwoo finally voices out his pain because his mom has been wronged like that#i need someone to sedate me. or lock me away methinks.
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im gonna put together a longer post after this for my other reactions but im putting this one here separately because i think it encapsulates my thoughts on this version of simm!master and its. they donât really capture how he antagonizes the doctor. and what i mean is he simply would not let the doctor monologue at him like he does when twelveâs going off at him and missy. like ten fucking tries So Many Times to talk at the master, and consistently, the master cuts him off, snaps out a joke about whatever serious topic the doctor wants. he just doesnât let it get that far, you know?
the stand-out moments he does are, from what i remember, the end of last of the time lords, when he literally Canât stop the doctor from monologuing at him because heâs become jesus through Thought Power or some shit. and then the end of time moment we all love, stone-cold brilliant, which is a complete reversal where the doctor is the one (seemingly) securely powerless. when theyâre on equal footing, he simply does not let the doctor talk at him.
and like yeah, the âdidnât listen to a word you just saidâ thing is funny but. god, i donât know how to put it. yeah, he would have listened. thatâs why he always cuts the doctor off when the doctor tries to connect on the his terms rather than the masterâs. thatâs why he doesnât let him monologue at him. thatâs why heâs practically shouting over the doctor to be heard first.
if that makes any goddamn sense. do his bastardness properly, moffat. he would not fucking do that.
#he wouldnt have let the doctor get a word in. thats what. and isnt that a better contrast to missy than not listening at all?#maybe a more nuanced one. you know?#you know you can either have. missy listens and the master doesnât. or you can have missy listens and the master wonât. doesnât want to.#does that make sense?#dw lb#dw 10x12#cannot emphasize enough that im not at all in my complaining about simm!master in this episode#saying. well one. not saying i dislike the episode. this is just a standout weakpoibt in an overall masterful finale. huh. huh. see what i#did there? anyway.#and two. it is not. im not saying âwah why is he being so mean :(â i dont want him to be nicer. i want him to be his awful little rat of a#self. just. in a way that fits. you know i feel very easily he could have Been more like the master of EoT and still done everything he doe#in this episode if you just leaned more into the horror of him realizing just how much missy has changed to appease the doctor.#drop the line where he goes âugh do you have empathy now that youâre a woman?â and replace it with something like. âdid the doctor loan you#one of his bleeding hearts?â#i get why heâs sexist towards bill. he does that. he knows how to use human bigotry to get under someoneâs skin.#but like. why is he being sexist towards herself. missy barely even recognizes herself as a woman beyond when itâs a fun bit part to play.#i guess im saying that some nuance here would be nice. he knows needling at missy about her gender wouldnât upset her. nipping at her#behavior with the doctor would. heâs gonna go for the throat on that. not on having tits.#we did get that one bit. âi donât know what you see in him.â that works a little.#but anyway. ive said what i wanted to say.
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was thinking about somethin somethin nicky "breaking up" with iris while slow dancing with her
#extra salt in the wound if it's the night ellie and trav surprise them with a makeshift date night#breaking up in quotations bc at this point they wouldn't really be established but It Would Be Obvious ya'know#idk I've been messing around with parts of iris's story again for funsies and wanted some change of scenery#so playing around with ideas#such as nick even if he does have real feelings for her beyond not necessarily wanting their partnership to end#he's incredibly aware he is never capable of being the partner she needs in the ways she'd really want#he doesn't doubt how much she loves him. he knows she does#he also knows how quickly and easily she would sacrifice herself desperately hoping that love would last#and he doesn't want to see her unhappy clinging to something. to him. when she deserves more. someone who can give her the life she wants#thinking about him. her in his arms. the shotgun blast to the heart. saying the first I love you while pushing her away at the same time#also really really really have been thinking up the chain of events that would lead up to her dropping everything and going back on the road#alone again for the first time in a long while#needed a catalyst for her just kinda âšdisappearingâš for a long while and no one not even deeks can find her#travis trying desperately to contact her at her home base. but she's not there to answer the radio#and he starts trying to talk to her through dcr because he knows she's listening#his lil stumbly voice telling her how sorry he is for what happened. that he wants her to come home. that he's worried. that he misses her#rambling#miss ma'am iris is that you
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thinking about daredevil yellow again im not. going to make it Guys.
#static.soundz#crying screaming and hitting the ground. so good. it made me cry really bad#bc whenever i think about jack n matt it always makes me think of me n my dad for various reasons#when matt said i couldnt feel his heartbeat inside me anymore. no words.#i rambled about it on my main but dd is very much intwined in an interesting and special way with my own heavy grief about my dad#and matt was a very important character to me during that time of my life for the exact same reason.#it's why i take a lot of very heavy issue when things try to make it so his dad died in his childhood as opposed to college#bc a) think it takes away a lot of the important nature of their relationship and b) my own personal projection#bc all grief at any stage is highly personal and unique and particular#but it really does feel like. matt is really just starting to become an adult (depending whether he dies when matt's in under or post grad)#(bc i can never remember which) but he's not quite a mega established one. there's still that lingering of childhood#so even though he's grown. it just hurts in a very particular way. they saw you grow up. but they didnt really see you become an adult.#they did not see the person you're going to be. that you are. that you're becoming. it feels like such a bizarre unfair moment in time.#bc why now? why not when i was younger? why not when i was truly an adult adult who is expecting to lose you now?#why at this moment and no other time?#but thinking about matt going i wish i told my dad how much i loved him.#more than anything when he goes 'i love you dad. did you hear? i love you.'#it made me cry like a fucking bitch. honest to god tearing up when i type about it. it wrenches my heart it twists it and it makes me wanna#drop to my knees and just weep and weep and weep. they are everything to me.#i have intertwined a lot of matt's grief with mine in a way that makes him so so so important to me. because as stupid as it fucking sounds#that comic and him as a character are everything to me. so genuinely. they were a lifeline my freshman year#when i was so depressed all i could do was read comics. or listen to music#i could do nothing else. i did. clearly. i did work and assignments. but dd was everything to me alongside dm#im sorry i am being an actual like nutbag in my tags im sorry i just have a lot of feelings. this story is everything to me ever ok? ok.
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i just got the yiga zelda spawns and oh my god it is frying my brain
#HOW BADLY DOES IT FUCK LINK UP EVERY TIME HE SEES ONE OF THEM#i have all the memories so my link obvs knows it can never be her butâŠ#do you think his heart skips a beat each timeâŠâŠ#do you think his stomach dropsâŠâŠ#i cant do this i cannot#evil evil perfect mechanic#loz#totk#totk spoilers#totk liveblog
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i maxxed the tags (what did i expect) but!!
what a soft piece ari đ„ș thank you for sharing this hurt/comfort piece w us!! i think satoru will always be a figure of strengthâbut i think itâs in part because thatâs how he brands himself to be around the people he cares about. heâll never truly share how he thinks and feels about things, will almost always downplay it really. but heâs always worrying, always aware and cautious, overthinking đ„ș and i felt that loads here!!
thereâs a shipwreck stuck between your ribs ; satoru gojo
synopsis; three times satoru sees you cry, and the understanding you gain of each other from it.
word count; 4.6k
contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, the synopsis speaks for itself i think, copious amounts of hurt/comfort, i just think heâd be so good at comforting u :ccc, also fluff!!, heâs addicted to calling u âbaby,â satoru gojo vs human emotion (he loses)
a/n; pls ignore the fact that 90% of my gojo fics are hurt/comfort ok we dont need to get into that <33 the writing in this one might be a lil rusty but im pretty fond of this gojo :â3
dim lights, buttery popcorn, and boredom.
the senses invading his mind are mellow, coaxing, a little tedious. all he can see are the buzzing lights before him, all he can hear is the insistent chewing of the people around him, and all he can feel is just that:
boredom.
satoru stifles a yawn, resting his cheek on the heel of his palm. heâs trying to pay attention â really, he is. trying to pay attention to the movie he picked out himself, after thoughtful consideration, one heâs been looking forward to watching with you all week. heâs trying his best. but, gosh, itâs just so boring.
or maybe he just doesnât have it in him today â with all these too-dim lights, too-loud popcorn-chewers, and the too-convoluted plot playing on the big screen in front of him. he has no idea whatâs happening, anymore, what scene this is supposed to be. some sob-story? he clocked out a while ago.
so, with nothing better to do â satoru decides to savour another view.
thatâs how it always goes. no matter the movie, no matter the snacks, whether youâre watching at home on the couch or a nearby movie theatre â eventually, when his eyelids begin to grow heavy, or when his attention span begins to falter, that blue-soaked gaze of his shifts. a moth to a flame, following his instincts. constantly looking over to see what kind of face you're making.Â
after all, your reactions are far more entertaining than any movie could ever hope to be. little sighs of exasperation, jolts and shivers down your spine, or a laughter so bubbly he canât resist leaning in for a kiss or ten â he loves it. adores it. lives and dies by it.Â
so satoru turns his head, and looks at you, knowing youâll save him from the boredom clutching at his subconscious.Â
and something in his chest constricts.
at first, he doesnât notice it. hungrily lapping over the expanse of your jaw, to your cheekbones, his gaze drinking in everything he can see. scanning your eyes for a hint of emotion; and he finds it. he finds it in something that glimmers in the dim lighting of the theatre, something that has his breath drawing back to the depths of his throat.
tears.
crystalline, dew-drawn, a fresh set of tears clinging to the edge of your lash line. theyâve yet to fall, but satoru sees them â he sees them and he doesnât know what to do.Â
tears.Â
tears?
youâre crying.
in the depths of your glassy eyes, he sees a fractured scene â playing against the scope of your iris, as the movie reflects off your pupils. thereâs a turmoil there, a sadness, one that has you covering your mouth with the front of your knuckle. and youâre crying.
satoru wants to tease you. he wants to lean over and purr against the shell of your ear, poke fun at you for being so emotional. such a little baby. what else is he supposed to do?
the tricky part is that he canât. he canât move, canât shape his voice into a purr, canât even speak. heâs frozen in place like a bug trapped in amber, stuck to his seat, unable to do anything but blink at you in what he thinks might be bewilderment.
his breath hitches â and thatâs all.Â
something about the sight of you makes him falter, makes him stop in his tracks. catches him off guard. he doesnât know what to do, doesnât recognize the feeling stirred deep within his chest, something discomforting and foreign. doesnât understand why his heart feels so itchy, all of a sudden.
then your eyes meet.
and you blink. once, then twice. eyes just a little wide, an embarrassed kind of surprise. he thinks you must be flustered, and heâs proven right when your gaze flees from his.
a mingle of words clog up at the base of his throat. say something, say something, say something. but he doesnât know what.Â
he wets his lips, preparing to part them, but before he can get the first syllable out you're leaning in. close. close enough that he feels your breath ghost against the shell of his ear, close enough that his heart starts skipping the way it always does when you press yourself against him like thatâs where you belong.
a whisper. itâs small, hushed, a little frail. but thereâs something else, too, laced together with the vowels â amusement.Â
âyou didnât tell me this was a sad movie.â
a pout plays at your lips, as you murmur your grievances. but then thereâs that amusement; itâs there when you pull back, in the crinkle of your sparkling eyes, the curve of your smile.Â
and satoruâs shoulders relax. stiffened bones melting. he exhales a breath he had no idea he was holding, and his heart feels at ease. a grin finds itâs way to his lips, wide, teasing, cheshire and sweet.Â
he leans a little closer, bumping his head against yours. gently. âi think youâre just sensitive, baby.â
his teasing is rewarded with a little huff, as your elbow meets his side. soft. everything you do is soft.Â
âoh, shut up,â you scoff. smiling. heâs so relieved that youâre smiling.Â
a moth to a flame, following his instincts, satoru brings you closer. an arm around your waist, pulling you into his orbit, until youâre practically sharing seats. searching for your hand â and he finds it, intertwining his long fingers with yours, just to give it a little squeeze.
(for some reason, he feels more protective than usual.)
he feels your gaze. questioning, maybe. but you melt into him quickly, with your head slumped against his shoulder, and his heart settles back into a sleepy rhythm. just watching the movie pass you by.
the dim lighting of the theatre casts a hazy shadow over your face, a tender desaturation, and his eyes stay glued to it when you arenât looking. the smell of popcorn hangs heavy in the air, salty and buttery, warm and sweet, and heâs almost grateful to feel that familiar boredom tug at his veins.
anything is fine. anything is better than that discomfort, that irritating itch.Â
satoru watches the movie flicker by, scene by scene, whispering commentary into your ear and stealing your popcorn with a satisfied hum. chuckling when you whisper-shout at him to cut it out!
he tries not to think of the glittering tears at your lash line, and almost succeeds.
rain clouds, cups of chamomile, and frustration.
it seeps out into the open air, engulfing your living room in a feverish haze. thick and suffocating; the scent of heavy rain, lukewarm tea, and that ugly, ugly feeling underneath his skin.
it pulses. it itches. and oh, how it aches.
satoru hates it. he hates feeling angry, feeling upset â hates when either of those emotions are in connection to you. hates it, hates it, hates it more than anything.
he does everything he possibly can to avoid it; his eyes are keen, always have been, and he can see when that thin line he shouldnât cross crawls a little too close for comfort. when the rubber band of your patience just snaps. he sees all your buttons, knows which ones not to push. he knows you.
and, more importantly, more than anything â nothing you do could ever make him angry at you.Â
(well, at least thatâs what he thought.)Â
satoruâs anger is a fickle thing, controlled, kept under wraps. itâs a slow process; it simmers, boils, a cup of chamomile brewed too long. and then it all but invades his senses. it never gets the best of him, never, but right now he can feel it â little pinpricks against his skin, a frustration that stirs his guts and has his eyes going cold.
satoru towers over you, like this. full height on display. not slouching or draping himself over furniture, but standing tall, and proud, and menacing. he isnât smiling, and thatâs all you need to know that heâs upset with you. his eyes are layered over with discontentment.Â
a sigh spills from his lips, a little gruff, unmistakably annoyed. it slices the silence of the room in half, and a shiver travels down your spine. he doesnât notice it. his voice has a rough edge to it, something firm. something that doesnât sound like it could come out of his mouth at all.
âdonât act like such a child.â
a flinch. or maybe more like a jolt; this time, he notices, but itâs too late. heâs in too deep, boiled water licking at his ankles, pulling him down. frustration nips at his skin, and he canât quite seem to push it away.
and youâre just so, so unaccustomed to it. unaccustomed to seeing him wear anything but a smile, unaccustomed to that cold gaze, usually nothing but warm and fond when it meets your own. this isnât like him.
itâs not like him at all.
swallowing thickly, you do your best to calm down. but before you can make any attempt to contain it, wetness begins to gather in the corners of your eyes. pooling, little droplets yearning to fall.
satoru notices them instantly. he sees that sad glimmer, framed by the murky darkness seeping in from beyond the curtains, accompanied by the symphony of pitter patter against the windowpane. tears, much like the rain beating down outside.
and his chest goes cold.
a tiny sniffle pushes past your lips, and the dam inside you begins to break â tears tripping over your lash line, rolling down your cheeks. cascading across your pretty face. the air fills with a sense of dread, and both of you seem to be thinking the exact same thing.
(oh, fuck.)
satoru notices, belatedly, that his throat has gone dry. that his heart feels itchy, again. it itches and itches but he canât do anything to soothe it, and your tears continue to fall.Â
his heart begins to crack. right down the middle, like a gash in the reflection of a puddle, right across his chest. it hurts.
an inhale, then an exhale. youâre still trying to keep it all together, grasping for control over your emotions, but itâs not going too well. the little breaths that escape your throat are shaky at best, hands trembling as you wipe the tears away with the front of your wrists. and your voice sounds a little like itâs about to crumble away.Â
âsorry,â you squeak, taking a step back. thereâs a silent panic in the gesture, one that makes satoru want to get down on his knees. âiâll just â iâll leave ââ
he wants to stop you. he needs to stop you. but he does nothing, nothing at all, even as you stumble out. leaving the haunting echo of tiny sniffles and tear-stained cheeks behind you.Â
satoru just stands there. once again, the sight of your tears seems to render him completely helpless. useless.
and he's frustrated, honestly. frustrated by the argument, by your tears, by his own guilt. heâs so frustrated he wants to claw his eyes out. he scratches at his forearm, but it does no good. all he can think of is your frightened little expression.
(he scared you.)
satoru slumps down on the couch, head in his hands, running rough fingers through his soft hair. itâs unruly by the time heâs done, and his bottom lip is bruised with teeth marks, and everything in the world feels so meaningless. so out of tune.
(he made you cry.)
a sigh. drawn out, tinged with exhaustion, bitter and battered like the swing of a baseball bat. he feels a little like he could throw up. itâs foreign, this emotion, suffocating. how long has it been since he genuinely felt this kind of shame?
the crack in his heart grows deeper, while youâre gone. more severe. every moment you spend outside of his vision makes him falter more and more, makes his desperation grow. desperate to plead for your forgiveness, to convince you not to leave. to wipe the tears away from your cheeks, delicately, the way you deserve. but he can do nothing but sit there, useless, repeating the same old phrase inside his mind.
heâll make it up to you.
and when you finally come back, having calmed down a bit, he does just that. youâre embarrassed, he can tell, a little meek. it makes him feel that discomforting emotion, again, that ache. the crack that only ever seems to deepen.
but he covers it all up with a smile. a little sheepish, more than a little forced, but he hopes you understand. hopes you can see his remorse, see a man who loves you, because he does.Â
so satoru takes you into his arms, softly, hands finding the small of your back. delicate, protective. a little whisper spilling from his lips.Â
ââm sorry, baby. i didnât mean it.â
and itâs not enough. he knows it isnât. but he does what he can â even when it just ends up clumsy, teasing, bordering on something that most would interpret as insincere. all he can do is coddle you. shower you in hugs and kisses, gifts and praises. he hands it out like candy, eager hands finding yours, everything spilling out of his chest all at once.Â
thereâs a desperation to it that isnât lost on you.
but it works. heâll make it up to you; he swears. and he dotes on you until youâre too embarrassed to be sad anymore, apologizes until his throat runs dry. until heâs sure you believe him.Â
he brews you another cup of chamomile, stirred to perfection, warm enough to make up for the shiver he sent down your spine. the rain beating down on your windows serves as a constant reminder of his failure, and satoru does his best to ignore it. swallowing whatâs left of his frustration, focusing on you.
anything to see you smile again. anything to wash away the red tint to your eyes, the puffy skin beneath them. anything to hear you laugh, to get you to feel safe around him again.Â
(anything to make him forget the sight of those tears rolling down your cheeks.)
panic, panic, panic.
itâs all he can feel, all he can think, the only emotion his muddled mind can cling to. heâs in pure, sincere, genuine panic, and you arenât saying a thing. canât bring yourself to.
arms wrapped around his waist, tightly, you hide away in the crook of his neck. clutching the fabric of his shirt, burrowing your face deeper into his warmth â and youâre not just crying.
youâre downright sobbing.
satoru knew something was off the moment you fell into his embrace, suddenly, tackling him into a hug so desperate it left him reeling. a kind of desperation he isnât used to, from you.
he knew something was wrong.Â
he knew even before he heard it; your choking sobs, those shaky, heaving breaths. muffled into the cotton of his shirt, his uncertain arms around you.
they break his heart.
âhey, heyâŠâ thereâs a soothing lilt to his voice, awfully delicate. sweet like molten honey, almost enough to hide the panic. âwhatâs wrong?â
satoru holds you to his chest, safe and secure, cradling you protectively. as if shielding you from the world â from whatever or whoever got you like this. as if youâd crumble into dust, otherwise.
he tries to calm down, but his mind is spinning like a broken clock, and your silence doesnât help. youâre trying to respond; he knows you are, but you just canât get the words out. any attempts only make you cry harder.
a shake of your head is all he gets â and itâs not much, but satoruâs learned to make a lot out of a little.Â
so he continues to hold you, hiding his worry, tucking his anxiety away somewhere you wonât be able to see. he curses, inwardly, grasping blindly for conclusions â for some divine guidance. how is he supposed to deal with this?
(how long has it been since he felt so very useless?)
gentle. thatâs the approach he takes, finally, hiding his nervosity. he rocks you back and forth, just a little, like heâs lulling you to sleep; his warm hands finding the small of your back, the back of your head. cradling you so close you hear his rapid heartbeat by your ear.
soothing whispers. murmured into your hair, so soft they seem to melt once they slip from his tongue, all honey and devotion. affection so palpable you taste it in the air, from the breaths he exhales.Â
âitâs fine. iâm here, iâm here⊠iâve got you.â
he doesnât know what heâs doing, not really, but it seems to work. because you calm down, after a while, just sniffling into his neck and letting him soothe you. sobs and unstable heaves, turning into whimpers and shaky breaths. clinging to him all the while; so desperate for comfort, for him.
it makes him feel so, so desperate to protect you, to wash every single one of your worries away.
itâs unbearable, this aching desire. like a great, insatiable, unnamed something deep within the caverns of his chest, clawing at his ribcage, snarling and hissing, itching to break out so it can open its maw and devour you both.
(itâs ugly. itâs grotesque. it wants to keep you safe so badly it might kill him for it.)
a coo. sad, dripping with care, a comforting tone that he hopes youâll find soothing. he smooths his palm down the back of your head, heavy, doting. it hurts so much to see you hurt.
âmy babyâŠ.â satoru exhales, a little shaky. but he smiles, and he hopes you can hear it, hopes itâll help mend the pain in your chest. âwhatâs got you this upset, hm? you're worrying me, hereâŠâ
a broken sniffle. the guilt eats at you, gnaws at your bones, and all you can do is hide away in the crook of his neck. apologizing, your voice no more than a tremor of a breath.
ââm sorryâŠâ
and satoru thinks his heart shatters. he can practically hear the crash, feel the broken, useless little pieces dig into his skin.
his arms travel down to your hips, steady, and he lifts you up. just for a second, just so he can plop down on the floor with you in tow â keeping you snuggled into his neck. seated on his lap with your legs around his waist, like youâre his baby koala.
âshh, it's okay,â he soothes, a grounding rumble of his chest right by your ear. heâs got you enveloped, wrapped up in his buzzing warmth, and all you can feel is him. âyouâre okay. no matter what it is, i'll take care of it, alright? you can rely on me.â
a moment passes.Â
satoru clears his throat. nervous, suddenly. âyou know that, right?â
all you can give him is a shaky nod, but itâs enough. he sighs, in palpable relief, still rubbing circles into your back. âokay,â he sneaks a hand underneath your shirt, tracing little shapes into your bare skin. âgood.â
he isnât sure how long you spend there, on the floor, entirely focused on comforting you. washing away all your sadness, with every gentle caress, every soothing murmur of there, there⊠every little stutter of his heartbeat next to yours.
and when youâve finally calmed down, melting under his touch and into his skin, arms going lax around his neck â satoru takes a breath. collecting himself, so you donât have to. acting like his heart isnât still a mess of crushed glass.
âyou okay now?â he coos, drawing absentminded hearts into the skin of your back. his voice is teasing, but warm, spilling from his tongue and into your ear. deep and smooth. âalmost gave me a heart attack, baby.â
he feels the way your grip around him tightens, just a smidge, and he hears the weak little breath you draw in. your voice is still shaky, and it makes him want to rearrange the world, stitch those broken vowels back together.Â
(he doesnât like how irrational it is, this insatiable something. how it makes him want to bend the rules of the universe, just to see you smile. a dangerous temptation.)
âiâm sorry,â you croak, clinging to him like a shipwreck to a shore. âitâs not â not a big deal, âm justâŠâÂ
satoru pulls back. just a little bit, making sure your arms and legs stay in their rightful place, curled around his neck and waist. making sure the two of you stay connected.
then he pinches your cheek.
âdonât apologize,â he quips, a playful frown on his face. soft, a vague furrow of his brows. like heâs scolding you.Â
it makes you wince, your eyes downcast. you look so meek. a little like a kicked puppy, glassy eyes glancing up at him in search of comfort.
satoru clicks his tongue. âand donât look at me like that, either.âÂ
he boops your nose, playful, doting, and you exhale weakly. itâs small, more breath than a real laugh, but youâre almost smiling, and â
itâs a start. itâs something.
satoru coos, voice dripping with warmth, sickeningly sweet. it seeps from his fingertips when he cradles your cheek in his palm, rubbing circles into the puffy skin beneath your eyes. thereâs a mirth in his own, crinkled at the edges, tucked into that blue shade, something glazed over with pure adoration.
âthereâs that smile.âÂ
he leans forward, closer, to press a kiss against the bridge of your nose, eyelashes fluttering. tickling your skin. you fall further into his embrace and he makes no move to resist, wouldnât do it even if he physically could. even if he had the strength to let you go.
then he broaches the subject. hesitant. tactful, careful, delicate â he tries to remember how it works. how to handle something fragile. he thinks of those boxes you carried last week, little porcelain cups. heavy in his arms. he thinks of the way you jab his side with your elbow; gentle, always gentle, even though thereâs never any need.
he thinks of you, and it all comes easy. thatâs how it always goes.
âwanna talk about it?â he asks, softly. fingers treading through your hair, scratching softly at your scalp. it makes you melt, a little. clearing your throat.
âitâs nothing, really,â you mumble, tiny, seeking respite in the warmth that seeps from his body. speaking with a raspy voice, a hoarse throat, all tired out after crying. ânothing big, anywayâŠâÂ
a moment passes, before you continue. âi guess it's just been a rough week,â you admit, a sigh slipping from your lips, tinged with pure exhaustion. âjust little things piling up. âm okay now.âÂ
a hum. satoru clears his throat.
âanything i can do?â
(please let me help.)
but you only shake your head. âyouâve already done enough,â you assure him, leaning into his touch. âthink i just needed to get it all out, yâknow?â
a beat. an itch. satoru holds you tight, a little tighter than he should. gentle, he reminds himself. but he needs you close enough to feel the flutter of your heartbeat, close enough to delude himself that youâve merged together. closer isnât close enough.
he gnaws at his bottom lip, teeth sinking into the flesh. pulling words out from the back of his throat, uncertain. âiâm always here,â he settles on. âif thereâs anything you need, come straight to me. okay?â
a frown plays at your lips. youâre silent, for a while, until he hears you mumble beneath your breath.
âi donât want to bother you so much, thoughâŠâ
ââ itâs not a bother.â
the words spill into the air, a little more firm than he meant to sound. but he means them.
âiâm serious. if you ever need help, with anything, come find me. iâm yours,â satoru inhales, deep, his chest moving in tune with the breath. youâre carried along with it, as if being lulled to sleep, following the steady pattern of his lungs.Â
then he exhales. in, and out, and with it comes a promise. âif anyone makes you cry, iâll get rid of them.â
he says it casually, so casually that you assume itâs a joke, a bout of breathless giggles pushing past your lips. the sound has his own curling up, and he doesnât have the heart to correct you. has enough tact to know that this might not be the best moment to let you know that heâs honestly a little terrified of how far heâd be willing to go to keep you safe and happy.Â
but youâre smiling, finally, laughing. and that matters more than anything. when he closes his eyes, he thinks he can even feel the telltale signs that his heart is picking itself back up, gluing jagged shards into a shape that resembles you.
"that's scary!â you gasp, amusement bubbling up inside your throat. âyouâd go to jail for me?â
satoru huffs. âbold of you to assume iâd get caught,â he tuts, a smug smile on his face. it makes you giggle, again, and he feels like a god.
âokay, okay,â you nose at his neck, breathing him in, strawberry lotion and laundry detergent filling your senses. âplease donât kill anyone on my behalf, though.â
âno promises.â
âsatoruâŠâ
slowly, steadily, his heart begins to stitch itself together. it helps that youâre there, he thinks. helps that youâre pressed up against him, that youâre holding him, like heâs the safest thing in the world. like you trust him.
(the word tastes like molten honey and luscious berries, sickly-sweet on his tongue. he gulps it down hungrily.)
itâs healing. the weight of your arms around him, the breaths that brush against his neck. he holds you to keep you together, intact, to keep himself together. a shipwreck and a shore â he just isnât sure which one of you is which. but your jagged edges fit just right with his own.
âi donât like seeing you cry.â
you blink. gazing up at him, with a contemplative look in your eyes. it melts into something a little too close to guilt for his liking. shame.
ââ but i still want you to let me see you like that.â satoru smiles, with a tilt of his head. snowy tufts of hair falling across his face. âis that weird?â
a moment passes. then you hum.
âno,â you exhale, a little breathless. smiling, somewhat weak, but still enough to have his heart skipping a beat. âi love that about you, satoru.â
âhuh?â he gapes at you â blinking dumbly. âlove what? that i want to see you sob into my chest?â
âthat you try,â you stifle a yawn, sleepily nuzzling into him, all tuckered out from crying. âeven when it makes you a little uncomfortable.â
satoru stills.Â
silence fills the space between you. thereâs nothing more to say. his tongue isnât really cooperating with him, anyhow â all tied up. so he leaves a kiss on the top of your head, and doesnât say a word about the tremor running through his chest.Â
he hates seeing you cry. hates how powerless it makes him feel, how useless. hates the fact that he canât always protect you from the world, from himself.
but you let him see you like that.
he thinks of your tears, crystalline and glassy, like translucent marbles on a summer shore â and sees the trust instead of the sorrow. he thinks of your tearstained face, meek and feeble, and knows itâll always be enough to break his heart to pieces.Â
he thinks of you, and tells himself that itâs worth it; just as long as he gets to bring that pretty little smile back to life.Â
#jjk#satoru#omg i am so excited i finally got to this ari đ„čđ„č and an x times kind of fic too oh my heart!!!!!!#oh heâs soooo into you đ„ș how his gaze always gravitates towards you i am sOOO my heart is SOOO#âlives and die by itâ PLSSS reading this is like reading it thru rose tinted glasses!!! his rose tinted glasses!! like a movie in a haze đ„č#your writing is always so incredibly descriptive ari and i love love love that because it paints the scene so so well!!#it describes his emotions so well too â the part on him watching your tears is so pretty âcrystalline & dew-drawnâ HOW PRETTY#the way the movie reflects on your irises â i love that image so much!!!! its such a vivid picture#satoru not knowing what to do when youre near; his emotions going haywire UUUGH forever a fave concept#and WHEN HE SPEAKS WKNDJEJD I THINK URE JUST SENSITIVE BABY HELLLLLOOOOOSUSJDJISJSJS#âeverything you do is softâ MY GOSH thatâs SO CUTE#anything is better than that irritating itch :((((((( GAWSH i love him#i LOOOOOVE the little descriptors at the start and how they set the mood for the scene omg love love loce#comparing his anger to a cup of chamomile??? oh my god i LOVE that how it simmers and boils omfg ari ur mind#and an angry satoru? oh my god take me tf out LOL IDK iF I CAN TAKE THAT LMAO#slicing the silence in the room into half is an AMAZING description ari omfg#âdont act like such a childâ MY jaw DROPPED oh my god ari if he ever said that to me id actually cry#that oh fuck is so so loud and i love love love how you described that scene ari omg its so vivid and i could feel his and the readers#emotions thru it !!! i wish i could copy paste it properly but im rdg from my phone rn so đ„Č#the idea that he hurts when you hurt is sooo oh my god im such a sucker for that and i think its so true!!#because as much as youre unaccustomed to him acting this way; heâs just as unaccustomed to treating you like this too :((((#oh my god him biting his lips to death :(( everything is meaningless . out of tune :(#see a man who loves you because he does :((( WAAAAH ILL SAWB RN#:(((( it makes him want to rearrange the the world & stitch those broken vowels back together HOW PRETTY#the sheer panic he feels at you sobbing bc he just doesnt know what to do#oh god :(( he thinks of you when he wants to handle you gently :(( bc thats all u rlly are :(( gentle :((#and its insane omg how kinda crazed u can feel he is abt u too. how uve managed to write in the extent of what heâd do just for y#i love the lil banter after đ„ș how he tries to keep things lighthearted still bc thats him!! thats satoru!!!#that dialogue is so tender âi dont like seeing u cry but i still want you to let me see u like thatâ UGH i love that#:((((( and its that act of. he doesnt like it but heâll brave it for u!! i love that line of him knowing that itll break his heart
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