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justgayskissinggays · 7 months ago

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I'm obsessed with Somnum. I'm sooooo normal about him. I am so normal about this man who was literally just a test subject. Another mindless cog in this wheel. You are just a kid. But it doesnt matter. They poke and prod you with things you don't understand. You know you're in pain, you know something is wrong but there is nothing you can do.

You are cursed. Cursed to be consumed by things you don't understand. Everyday it's harder to stay awake. Dreams whisper in your ears lies and promises and truths and lick you with their fickle tongues. A meal. They are starving. You almost feel bad, if you weren't there food. You are in so much pain. You can't stay awake. You are fighting for it, fighting to be alive.

Then theres a light; you're being given away. Labelled a failure and a useless project and yet you are wanted by something. You learn what family is and its not really the best family but its something you can be loyal to. But you are the runt of the litter; skilled but unable to use it. Everyday sleep comes easier and waking is harder. Everyday something new is ripping you apart. The dreams have eaten your lungs. They have started on your muscles; your stomach. They creep under your skin to consume every waking inch of you.

You get the news, you will die in two years. They will eat you body heart and soul and you will be nothing. Your parents tell you that they can only keep you comfortable. They look at you with pity, you are no longer what they believed. Your parents who adopted to avoid having a child like you. But you were always destined to this, from the moment you were born. Destined to be eaten by dreams. Destined to die. Destined to lose yourself to the surreal. Your family adopted kids to avoid watching one die. You are a disappointment and pitiful.

You are the runt of the litter. Always the weak one, everyday you try to stay awake just a little longer and you fail. You desperately try to keep your grip on reality, to not become distorted by the dreams consuming you. But its only getting later, and one day it'll be to late. They will eat you, they will devour you. They are starving. They will never find a meal as delectable as you for another century. Your eyes are going. Your fingers are going. Your feet are going. Devoured by things that aren't real, and soon you won't be too.

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year ago

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Get Their Ass.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jin ling #jin chan #Yeah that's right. This guy is a named character. All those nameless disciples in the yi city arc and *this* guy gets a name.#Jin ling finally gets his much needed outfit upgrade! Rest in peace double straps.#I adore how we get to keep learning about Jin Ling and peeling back the layers on him...It's also so sad to see him so alone and friendless #especially knowing he really was starting to build peer friendships in the yi city arc...#Jin ling really is one of my top 5 characters in MDZS and its absolutely in part because of how you can *see* how he ended up this way #and we watch him learn and grow! He's doing what most adults refuse to do: Consider that his opinions are skewed and need to change.#You are NOT immune to propaganda and I adore characters who reflect and struggle with that!#Just because someone with assumed authority says something that fits into what you want to be true does not make it true B*/#In this series about rumours and warped perspectives - Jin Ling is a great example of how hard you have to work for the truth #+1 points of friendship with jin ling: He will self correct himself if he says a slur now

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drumlincountry · 1 month ago

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I am at the stage of trauma recovery that feels like reattaching previously dead limbs.

#I keep having this mental image of like. A girl who was sliced clean in two vertically #And one half exists independently as an almost-functional half-girl #And the half-girl looks like a complete girl from certain angles. And bloody raw mess from others.#Trying to live life. Frustrated a lot of the time that she can't do the same stuff as other people can #Because she's only half there!#The other half issss not quite dead but also definitely not attached. Dismembered in a box #Ah you know how it is. You're an opinionated and outspoken child in an abusive home. People are going to chop bits off of you.#And some of what I knew as healing was taking bits out of that box and slowly painfully sewing back on like. Chunks of spleen and lung.#But some of it was really just growing a callous over the gooey parts #Which did stop me from bleeding out! But now i'm on limbs and i'm having to cut through the callouses too.#Piecing the two halves of my head together. Great big ugly seam running right down the middle. Holding it while it heals #Once again. hugely recommend Pete Walker Complex PTSD book #Me Fein #I also recommend everyone who ever wronged you saying: i'm so sorry you were right the whole time.#But I understand i'm in a unique situation.#Its like #Really really really good #Trauma

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stagefoureddiediaz · 6 months ago

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Eddie diaz dealing with his mommy issues arc in season 8 is feeling realer to me than ever right now

#Helena diaz is responsible for so much of Eddie’s issues #she is a massive part of the reason Shannon left the first time #the way she spoke at ramons retirement party just reenforced things #she is the matriarch and rules with an iron will #it is ultimately down fo her that Eddie was forced to grow up too fast - was forced into a heteronormative behaviour pattern #she is the reason he didn’t get to figure out who he really is and that’s what he’s paying for now #Ramon just went along with her - that has been shown on multiple occasions - he is like Phillip buckley - a weak man who goes along with his #wife for a quiet life #so yeah - Helena (and Ramon) showing up in 7x10 - perhaps to take Chris back to Texas for the summer #feels very intentional to me - Eddie dealt with his issues around one parent - now in order to let go of Shannon and move forward he needs #to deal with the other #gonna be so good #it’s also worth pointing out that we see a far more soft and vulnerable Eddie with abuela and Pepa than with Helena - perhaps the contrast #will be explored - Helena not liking abuela or Pepa that much because she thinks they make him soft etc - would be juicy too #(can you tell I’m not a Helena diaz fan!!)#911 spoilers #eddie diaz #911 speculation #911 abc

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vaguely-concerned · 13 days ago

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I was just ambushed within the turbulent halls of my own mind by some headcanons about rye ingellvar's childhood that did 15000000 points of psychic damage to me and my heart personally and also made me almost sure of how I want to play it all at the end (very very differently from how I imagined going in!). some 'oh holy fuck this changes everything' rocking my own world bullshit going on in my neurons right now I'm reeling

#I'm sorry to say that despite what I expected I think the dread wolf might be going down violently on my first run???#not because *I* love solas any less but because of who rye is and some of the twists I know happen down the line #which does make for a neat thing b/c I meant to play the crow I'm going with second as initially incredibly hostile #and then growing to feel for him and redeeming him at the end.#so if rye starts out very reasonable and sympathetic and then is brought to 'haha. no. fuck you forever for that in particular' at the end #...a pleasing cosmic symmetry in it I must admit. perfect and also makes me feel a bit sick #I'll try to put together something coherent eventually but for now #it's sort of a 'my name is ellaryen ingellvar you killed the guy #that my brain went 'close enough welcome back beloved and much missed deceased father figure' over. prepare to despair and die'#I think just the killing part might not have done it but everything that comes after? rye is a chill guy until he finally decides #that enough is fucking *enough*. and that was the most enough of all time for them #it also explains rye's accent (one of his primary caregivers growing up was a dwarf)! so many birds with one stone here #also I am so fucking sad now and I did it entirely to myself. I love fiction I love games (embarassingly genuine)#dragon age #dragon age: the veilguard #dragon age: the veilguard spoilers #dragon age spoilers #oc: ellaryen ingellvar #thank god that the romanced solas playthrough is the second one tho that does make things less dire haha #adaar would have given it the good old college try to get solas to change his mind right to the end I think #but even his capable hands and politician's mind could not hold back the sheer beware the fury of a patient man storm #that is about to hit solas for the shit he just pulled. I think rye and solas are -- as it turns out -- TOO alike in many ways #...solas buddy I'm so sorry I'll come back for you on the second playthrough and make it right I swear fhsak #it's just that a second dead dwarf dad has joined the chat to haunt the narrative (and this time it's fucking personal frfr)#it's almost scary how quick I've gotten attached to my rook tho. I've waited A DECADE to save this bald elf man from himself #and then rye shows up with steel in his normally kind eyes going 'no. I want that fucker *dead*'. and I just go anything for you babyboy #I'll see what we can do. unspeakable stuff

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margindoodles2407 · 6 days ago

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blame @seeking-elsewhither for this one. it's echo time and i'm having thoughts (tm)

#yeah it's more hfsw bad batcher time. this means suffering on the part of echo #...whose armor design i kind of hate but at the moment i haven't had time to give him a definitive design so we're stuck with this for now #star wars #margin doodles #hfsw #look at my guys #handprinted #okay but i am not going to lie. i have so many thoughts about echo. ESPECIALLY in hfsw #like. you were supposed to die. but you didn't. you were brought back and it was the most painful thing you've ever experienced #and you have to endure months on end of torture practicing the very black arts you were born to fight against #so that the monsters who saved your life can use your knowledge to kill your brothers #and the only thing keeping you from completely giving up is the memory of a supernova smile that grows fainter every day #and then you're finally rescued after an eternity of torment but something is wrong because the person who was supposed to rescue you...#isn't there #and he never will be again #and you'll never see his smile again #(but you could. you could you know. you have that power now. you could bring him back. if you really wanted.#but you could never. you would never forgive yourself for dredging him back up from his well-deserved rest for such a selfish reason.#you'd never forgive yourself for putting him through that pain and white-hot agony just because you miss him. so you don't.)#and you love your new brothers. really you do. and you love your little sister; you love her so much that your wrongly-beating heart aches #and you love what you do; even if it's terrifying and dangerous saving your brothers from a fate worse than death (and you would know)#but... there's a sour knot that throbs in your gut every time your vision snags on your skeleton hand or bony feet #and every time you look in the mirror and see the unnaturally glowing green crackles in your irises #you're not of this world anymore. and you're not sure you'll ever be okay with that.

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sweetandglovelyart · 11 months ago

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Knightfall in Dream Land - Page 5

Meta Knight loses a battle and his wings to Nightmare.

#Kirby #Kirby fanart #my art #comic #Meta Knight #Nightmare #merry Christmas here’s the next page #it’s after midnight now here where I live but let’s just pretend I posted this a few minutes earlier lmao #as you can see I cannot draw fighting scenes at all but I tried my best here #I tried to portray all of the attacks Nightmare can do in his orb form #this is also my explanation for why Meta Knight doesn’t have wings/doesn’t use his wings in Kirby’s Adventure #I’m not totally sure if the wings are part of him or if they’re his cape turning into wings since that seems to vary game to game #but for the purposes of the comic the wings are a part of him he loses them here but they grow back later #I noticed that Galacta Knight’s wings come off in the cutscene after you beat him in Meta Knightmare Ultra #so I thought what if something similar happened to Meta Knight #on the next page we’ll see how Meta ended up on Popstar and we might see a few familiar faces #Knightfall in Dream Land

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volivolition · 7 months ago

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suggestion do you have... any wants? like obviously you do but like? suggestion my guy my ourple boy. both the easiest and hardest to write. you need a skill to say something to move conversation along but it doesn't fit any skill in particular? about 80% of the time you can have suggestion say it and it will make sense. but like actually characterizing him... how do i define you dude... what makes your character tick... urgh. i dont get you yet. im trying to understand but you are difficult.

#chemi chats #there are some skills that i just dont understand yet and that just means i have to work on their character study chapter #im reading his bio and i think suggestion is a good manipulator and it's instinctive and he tries not to feel bad about it?#he's clever!! charming!! friends with savvy and drama. planting seeds in the mind and coaxing them to grow towards him like he's the sun.#a crude oil reservoir lying beneath a carefully laid flower bed. taps into the roots. the plants don't know any better than to drink.#he's great at sensing what makes people tick and uses that to his advantage. he needs goals to look forward to so he knows how to best #pull the strings to get them there. otherwise he's a bit aimless. he likes being useful. and since influencing others is helpful #he just keeps doing it? because it's what he's good at. and he tries to convince himself its fun and cool and just cuz hes charming and #it's his role as a skill and manipulation isnt thaaaat bad because it's helpful to them after all... but he does feel bad sometimes.#oh im listening to his voice lines and i just got to ''brother you should have put me in front of a firing squad'' and im sad about him now #but what do you want for short term little guy?? probably for people to like him. he likes chatting with people. i bet he'd like genuine #conversations with no strings attached but there's always some part of him filing information and tidbits away that he can't turn off #subconsciously figuring out things he can hold over them or how he can nudge them into thinking someth-/wait.../ no. no he's just talking.#he's /supposed/ to just be talking stop analyzing them stop falling back into that just have a normal conversation!! but he can't help it..#hm. this is all really helpful for his chapter. he and empathy are very alike but also different. very interesting...#task: swept up #okay good talk everyone i think i understand him a little better now lmao?? still gotta figure him out some more hes not fully there but ye #also i think he goes by whatever pronoun you think he'd use. just ''oh what do /you/ think i am hm?? what /would/ i use; do you think?? :)'#funny fella. i love you.

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dungeons-and-dragon-age · 8 months ago

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please stop calling me master ToT

#orana makes me so sag aughh #and makes liam uncomfortable :')#laya plays dragon age #oc: liam hawke #i imagine that he only told her to get out at first and then found her still roaming/at loss when they headed back out #and didnt just wanna leave her there so he told her to come with them for now #but then she just. kept sticking around?? and he tried telling her that she can leave but poor girl doesnt know what do to with herself #and then well. she starts taking care of the house and acting like liam is her new master and he kind of maybe panics a bit about it #like. no no no you got this all wrong i dont want an elven slave. i dont do slaves. and i dont even KNOW you why are you doing this #and well. i guess you can stay until you know where to go and if you insist on doing maid chores then at least let me pay you??#and its all very awkward for a while but he grows attached to her and so does leandra #and she becomes a part of the household

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laugtherhyena · 3 months ago

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Okay so maybe the wrinkly split head devil isn't the Aging devil itself, since it being called aging definitelly feels like a mistranslation and and public safety wanting to erase old age by sacrificing the younger generation fits the point the chapter is trying to get across much nicer than if the devil was aging itself (+ if you think about it for 2 seconds erasing aging as a whole is a terrible fucking idea since no one will be able to grow anything anymore and people will be stuck as babies and kids forever whereas erasing old age should just make people not age past adulthood and probably cause people who are already elderly to just dissapear on the spot)

But that doesn't mean i'm keeping Cherryboy the exact same because if old age specifically is enough to achieve primal fear level then aging as a whole has gotta be one too. So hooray! someone's getting a slight revamp in the future :)

#i'm not changing his storyline in part one nor his design but his overall backstory will change slightly #but in his main design he is now the Aging fiend instead of straight up devil. i'll definitelly cook up a full devil design for him later #and you know him being a primal fear is fun because i had this idea that even after dying Cherry retains a sliver of his memories #from past iterations. if he is that strong of a devil then he can probably do that #and i can use this as an excuse to why i never made designs for him in hell :) i've got some fun ideas brewing #basic idea so far is that Cherry has a fascination with watching life (basically aging and its effects on living beings) even tho he has #hardly any attachment to life itself. dying is just a part of it same as growing old and such he doesn't feel anything when it happens #to other people and also himself #but being an enormously powerful devil in hell he can only watch this dance of life and death from afar as an outside observer #so after god knows how long he grows tired of sitting there in hell and kills himself to be reborn on earth #and immediatelly goes out of his way to become a fiend. severely weakening his strenght but bringing him closer to the lesser beings #by doing so. and now he can observe life from upclose and interact with the other creatures roaming around. which is something he finds #immense enjoyment in #think like a god that roleplays as a human every once in a while just because they're bored. and when they die they go back to godhood #so thats why all of Cherry's versions on earth are these dudes w animal skulls. little fiends #he can be strong and all-powerful when this life is over. and in hell he will look back at it quite fondly #csm #csm oc #chainsaw man #csm spoilers #csm part 2 #Cherry #hyena ramblings

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scattered-winter · 5 months ago

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every day i kick a rock and bash my head into the wall because i'll never get to go on a big space adventure and become tightly close-knit with my new found family up there <//3