#you can go back to previous asks memes too if you want

[dolloie]

“girlfriend effects” ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) 

habits that they develop from dating you.

pairing. bf!riize x fem!reader. warnings. insane usage amount of the word 'like' mentions of food, dizzy, cursing, kissing and marking (not heavy though!) marriage on anton one! rara's letter. giggled to much on the seunghan's one..

— shotaro & buying things that remind him of you.

he would buy everything that reminded him of you.

and prolly would update you even when you're asleep.

taroro <3: look what i got :D this kinda reminds me of you!!

he would buy literally ANYTHING even when it's so expensive that out of his budget.

especially when he's on vacation in his hometown.

having a bunch of plushies and keychains that look exactly like you.

keychain on his bag, sticker on his laptop, plushies all over his room.

then he'll buy a keychain that looks like him for you!!

you MUST hang it on your bag or wherever you want just, please, show it off.

he loves it sm.

this boy will giggle all day until you're tired.

— eunseok & bringing your essentials with him everytime.

like i said on my previous bf headcanons!

he would, and he has everything!!

your hair tie was missing? don't worry, he has one on his wrist.

your lips dry? he'll pass the chapstick, lip balm or any lip treatment without you asking.

omg what if your keys are gone somewhere??? bae he has your keys all the time in his bag.

you're just clumsy, but luckily your perfect boyfriend would come to the rescue everytime!

you felt dizzy all of a sudden? girl, he has a whole bottle of water and the medicine prepared.

the members would probably ask why he has a hair tie on his wrist.

all of them are just like they didn't believe that the song eunseok. carrying your items everywhere?? unbelievable.

and, no. he wouldn't take it off, even though the members were teasing him to death.

it's important for you!! why would he take it off?

— sungchan & kissing you everytime he got a chance.

this man has an obsession with your lips.

trust me when i say he has, he has.

i might throw the "chance" aside..

bcs BOY, HE WOULD KISS YOU EVEN IF YOU WERE TALKING WITH HIS MEMBERS.

bro is that down bad 😭🙏🏻

he doesn't give a fuck, even when his members are teasing him for being too clingy.

he just loves you too much, and maybe that counts for your lips too.

wouldn't be ashamed if your lipstick stuck on his lips.

it's the other way, he absolutely loves when your lipstick marks him and would be proud of himself.

he can't stand the fact that he hasn't kissed you yet.

like everytime, i mean everyday, at least three kisses before he can go on with his day perfectly.

even when he's far away from you, a virtual kiss would do.

bro has a whole album of kissing memes.

— wonbin & doing your hair.

he loves it when you talk about how your day went.

bcs those faces that you make when focusing are just so cute.

but then a hair piece falls in front.

he will tuck it behind with a school girl in love kind of smile 🥹

like he's felt like falling in love all over again.

it felt like a romantic movie that he never expected to have.

everything is like a slow motion to him.

he loves it when you decide to tie up your hair!!

then he loves to braid, wash, dry, and brush your hair.

especially when you had a busy week and had no time to wash or do your hair.

he'll let you rest and let him do your hair.

everything is on him, don't worry!!

— seunghan & back hugging you.

this mann T^T

okay now imagine you're in the same house as him.

when you wake up just to see this fine man hugging you from behind.

legs and hands all entangled with you.

buttt if you're not next to him when he wakes up.

be prepared to get the tightest hug from behind.

yeah, the kdrama scene.

which the female lead is cooking or preparing breakfast for the male lead.

then boom, back hugs.

place kisses all over you. neck, cheeks, forehead, and the temple of your head. hair. the back of your hands.

"i'm expecting you to be by my side when i wake up.."

so whinyy

how much you love him for this, but he gotta let go!!

or else no breakfast for the day.

— sohee & everyday text with you.

it's a must for him.

you're asleep? good.

bcs you'll wake up with a whole ass paragraph from him.

really really love sending you pictures of him doing almost everything.

eating, practicing, even before sleeping.

he'll update you everytime he gets the chance!!

absolutely adore when you decide to send him the pictures of you back to him.

asking how your day went.

when you say it was suck, he will go straight to your house without warning.

he's far away from you? not a problem.

face timing is the solution, so go!

would never end the call, even when you've already fallen asleep after telling him your whole day.

screenshots of your pictures and put them as his new wallpaper ^3^

— anton & planning almost everything.

you know, how was this man obsessed with planning everything??

like he has everything organized.

so you don't need to worry that your date is on the same day and at the same time as your work or school.

bcs that would never happen!!

try to think of anything that you would never think of happening.

marriage ‼️

like yeah, he would have a whole note about the wedding theme.

what types of or where would you both go for the honeymoon

man is so delusional.

he's so in love with you that he has already planned everything, even though there's still a long way to go :(

it's the summer time for him!!

your favorite snacks? check. your favorite place to go? check. your favorite activities? check.

you just need to pay him back with a lot of kisses and cuddles.

© CALLANTON. all right reserved. do not copy, use, steal my work and post. ౨ৎ

[revelboo]

I'm like that meme of the girl being offered like 10 plates of pancakes at once, I can't keep up with all this delicious food, thank you for all of this 🙏

You’re welcome, glad you like my silliness

Everything is Alright Pt 47

IDW Starscream x Reader

18+ content 🌶️

• There’s so many things he wants to say, but nothing comes out because fear has him by the throat. The worry that one impulsive action has ruined everything between you two. Especially as your face reddens and you look away. Like you can’t look at him. Maybe he’d been too rough. Or maybe you regret what you’d done with him. He wants to pull you close, hold you, but you won’t look at him and he can feel his wings beginning to tremble. Because it’s all wrong. Why had he thought he deserved to have this, too?

• Face flushed, you don’t know what to do now, because this is so much worse than your worst awkward first time with someone new. He’s just staring at you and you have no idea what he’s thinking. What he wants, because his spike is still buried inside you and he’s not said a word. Maybe it’d been weird to him, maybe your two species aren’t compatible at all even if you fit together that way. Because something’s clearly upsetting him, his wings wracked with those faint tremors like he’s angry. And suddenly you’re fighting against tears you don’t wholly understand.

• Slipping free of your wet heat, he wishes you’d say something. Anything. Instead, your eyes go shiny and wet with tears. Sitting back, he drags you into his lap, hooking an arm around you when you try to twist your back to him. Trying to hide from him again. Why now? “I hurt you,” he growls, trying to catch your chin in his servos to make you look at him. Of course he had, it’s all he’s ever been truly good at. Burning every good thing he has to the ground before it can be taken away or turned against him.

• You try to shake your head as he grips your chin and forces you to meet his optics. Searching for something in your eyes. “You didn’t,” you reassure him, unable to say the rest. To ask if you’d done something wrong, if it hadn’t been good for him. Venting heavily, he swipes a servo under your eyes, his expression rueful like he doesn’t quite believe you. “You didn’t say anything after,” you finally manage, pulling against his grip, because you really just want to hide your face against him and he lets you.

• “Neither did you,” he murmurs, trying to figure this out in tentative little steps. Was this okay? Really okay? It doesn’t seem right that he’d be allowed this, when he already has so much of you. “We’re both awful at this,” he says with a huff of laughter, tucking your head under his chin, arms curling around you. “But for Primus’s sake stop crying.” Because he can feel your tears wetting his mesh. Feel as you give a hitching little laugh and that awful, painful awkwardness between you eases just a bit. Little steps forward.

• Somehow it’s almost a relief that he’s as awkward as you are. And funny in a decidedly unfunny way when you realize how it must have looked to him when you started crying right after. Oh, no guy human or otherwise would love that. That’s what makes you reach up to pull his head down and arch up in his grip to kiss him. Feeling his arms tighten around you, his spike stirring where it’s trapped between your bodies as his low growl rumbles through you. Trying to tell him all the things you’re too awkward and scared to say out loud.

Previous

Next

[sugar-crash]

🍬King Candy (Wreck-It Ralph) x (gn) Reader👑

(Beginning Relationship Pt. I Edition!)

(I thought this song would be fitting considering King Candy’s voice is based on the vocal performance Ed Wynn did for the Mad Hatter… That and its… Nostalgic🔑 [I saw the animation meme culture rise and fall.] lol)

- So, as we all know, the more unpleasant parts of his personality (which could tie him to Turbo) are suppressed, and hidden, though they can still peak out when he’s feeling particularly malicious.

- He’s a slime, a real manipulative rat who’s so sure he can keep everyone in the dark, who takes it slow with you at first to try to maintain his hard work.

- There’s a clear wall between what he displays in front of others and how he is, just the way he likes it, but honestly— If you mean so much to him, you get a weird mix of the two (well, more than usual), a kind of sweet goofiness that’s followed up with a snide remark about being the most skilled in some specific topic.

- Again he’s not the best lover, though from his previous indiscretions he has learned to be more open to others feelings— But only for your sake, mostly cause he can’t stand anyone else besides you…. And Sour Bill sometimes, but he’s mostly the personification of a minimum wage worker.

- Spending time together after hours is a must, though he’s more understanding now than he was before, not demanding every moment of your time but relishing whenever you do.

- I think all that time alone before Sugar Rush got plugged in made him lonely, and less stubborn to admit that he wants that comfort from someone else.

- I don’t think it’s much of a far reach when I say maintaining the King Candy persona is something he is very fluid in, but it’s exhausting at times.

- When he gets that seldom time alone without any of his kingly duties he finds himself yearning for your comforting touch, that stubbornness making way as he makes Sour Bill retrieve you.

- I can see moments between the two of you to be on the tamer side, not as many arguments like Pre-RoadBlasters, little to none really, but there are these tense moments where you ask him something a little too close to home and he becomes stiff in your arms if only for a brief moment.

- As much as he wants to be, not only for himself but maybe even you— He isn’t perfect, he isn’t the person he tries so hard to be, that gleeful and peppy voice going flat the second he isn’t feeling it anymore.

- It becomes apparent the more you know him he’s far more serious than he lets on, puffing his chest up slightly when things don’t go his way and he has to play dirty, which he’s certainly no stranger to...

- In comparison to himself when the arcade first ever opened, he’s certainly grown from that childish hatred, for better and for worse.

- He’s more affectionate for one, providing you with comfort fitting to how you are feeling at that moment, little compliments, and gestures of affection to quell your anger and anxiety in a matter of seconds.

- Quick to learn every little thing about you to make sure he’s able to relate to you, though his intentions with this information go back and forth.

- He wants everything on a silver platter, not only for himself but also for you, making the other subjects of Sugar Rush bend over backward for you, even when you object to all the attention.

- I think one of the ways he dotes on you in a way is date planning, various areas in Sugar Rush vary which can be very nice date spots… He seems like the picnic blanket and tea liker as King Candy, as stereotypical as that is lol.

- Though if that isn’t your style, he can always do dates at the castle, like baking— chatting the night away, it’s the simple things in life <3

- Even with his character growth he is far from a good person, which we all know and love for the most part. He’s fully aware that the things he does to bar you, Venallope, the Sugar Rush inhabitants, and even the arcade entirely is cruel, spiteful even. But what could he have done? Let himself fade into obscurity and be characterized after one of his biggest mistakes?

- No, no, not when he still has so much to provide— He’s a person, just like everyone else, better yet he was programmed to be better. Why should he stand aside and let the world spin without him? Why should he look at you from afar when he has every right to want you?

- That’s part of the reason why he’s so adamant about keeping his spot as the monarch of Sugar Rush, he’s the rightful ruler after all.

(Cr cqh’r lncp, hjw cq cr?)

[starberry-cupcake]

oooohhhh boyyyyyyyy Stuff Happened you folks, this might be obnoxious because there was a lot of exposition, let's hope I can keep it decent. As always, sending you all positive vibes in these trying times ♥

previously, in harrowcita del 9:

this happened

CHAPTER 50

30 minutes for emperor destruction, prepare the champagne

gideon is being taken by yandere twin to meet doctor reverend emperor john

she isn't very into that idea, but doesn't have much of a choice

doctor reverend emperor john is having a very important conversation with someone in the room, so gideon and yandere twin hide to listen in

and the conversation is with non other than not!dulcinea

not!dulcinea is being possessed

by commander wake

I ASKED FOR THIS IN THE PREVIOUS ONE

why did you need harrow, then, you dramatic asshat?

so, basically, commander wake's name is actually a couple quotes and lyrics to eminem's song from 8 mile

her name isn't amanda, it's just awake, etc.

I'd take amanda over eminem but ok

they said they are words that date back thousands of years, so we're in the future

I considered this, but not due to book reasons, just because one time I was talking to @lady-harrowhark about one time a barbie of mine was stolen when I was a kid and it somehow related to tlt, this was A Long Time Ago but I thought "what, are the books in the future?"

I have no idea if my hollywood hair barbie had anything to do with the books directly or if it was just some fandom thing @lady-harrowhark knows and I don't, but that planted the idea in my head

if it's a spoiler, don't tell me

but I didn't pick up any clues from the book until eminem

emperor's last name is gaius, which I knew from an untagged non context dashboard post

doctor reverend emperor john gaius wants to know what commander wake was doing in the ninth, because she landed there on purpose

and also is impressed that she's been a revenant for nearly 20 years and doesn't know how she got there

I think it's the sword

so, in come augustine and mercygirl

because now we're having a party

dr reverend emperor john says "Am I in trouble?" because he's the most punchable asshole in the known universe

and introduces commander wake with an evanescence quote rather than an eminem quote

yes, ok, I much prefer that, thank you

thank you, Fallen by Evanescence (2003) you changed my life

so, turns out that commander wake was in cahoots with these two lyctors

but things turned south and gideon the first was sent to kill her

she went to the ninth to break into the tomb

it always comes down to the tomb

ice cube barbie is very popular

so, I was right when I said that gideon wasn't conceived Traditionally

the eggs were my clue on that bit, the eggs on the notes

they were supposed to 1) use dr reverend emperor john's genes to 2) create a baby with his blood to 3) break the blood ward to 4) open the tomb

CONVOLUTED LYCTOR PLANS

but the eggs didn't work, so commander wake decided to birth gideon herself

when I said gideon was a demigod and used hercules memes and when I compared her to superman or whatever

I was more correct than I thought

commander wake called gideon "bomb"

this song could go into the gideon playlist @lady-harrowhark and I were talking about

because we didn't have enough lyctors at this party, in comes gideon the first

from battling the beast, which is what everyone was supposed to be doing, btw, just putting that out there

gideon the first will receive a lot of very clever, funny and amazing nicknames by gideon that I can't even remotely compete with

I vow to you and your prowess for nicknames, queen

gideon the first comes in, removes gideon's glasses from harrow's body, and slides them on his face

commander wake me up before you go go looks at him with heart eyes

and he shoots her

gideon, things were so much easier when you didn't have a family, girl

this is too stressful

everyone is surprised that gideon the first fought the beast, the beast ran and gideon the first is alive

I am NOT SURPRISED because HE WAS FIGHTING ALONGSIDE MATI NONIUS

and ortus, and protozoa, and martita

BUT, MOST IMPORTANTLY, MATI NONIUS

well done team harrow!!!

so, basically, gideon the first didn't say anything about the whole commander wake situation because he thought gideon was his

which accounts for my doubts the other recap on how I thought gideon wasn't Conceived Traditionally but there were doubts from gideon the first's side

gideon prime, gideon zero, gideon senior (all gideon jokes, not mine) says he was with her for about two years

so augustine starts explaining how they got dr reverend emperor john's genetic material through god apate major

WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED

IT'S ALWAYS THE ORGIES, ISN'T IT?

man, I'd rather not know the details, thank you

gideon the first also doesn't want to know the details

the emperor's bolthole wasn't as inexorable as it was advertised to be, turns out

it's basically a revolving door

ANYWAY

the emperor goes "so you killed her and the baby, right?"

IN COMES GIDEON, INTRODUCING HERSELF

"I'm not fucking dead"

and the emperor goes "hi, not fucking dead, I'm dad"

CHAPTER 51

gideon starts remembering childhood things like suffering and fighting with harrow and telling harrow that maybe she is the daughter of someone important and they don't know it

"You remember how the fuck-off great aunts always used to say, suffer and learn? If they were right, Nonagesimus, how much more can we take until you and me achieve omniscience?"

man, this is rough

so, the thing about the eyes

gideon apparently has AL's eyes

whose name isn't only Annabel Lee

it's also Alecto

the alecto everyone keeps mentioning in the fandom

so, this explains why seeing gideon's eyes was like seeing a ghost to these lyctors

also why ice cube barbie had gideon's eyes

THERE ARE A LOT OF THREADS GOING ON IN THIS BOARD

GIDEON IS CONNECTED TO A LOT OF PEOPLE

NONE OF THEM GOOD

the lyctors bring back what teacher said in canaan au, about them asking dr reverend emperor john to kill AL aka Annabel Lee aka Alecto aka ice cube barbie

apparently all of them (except for gideon the first) hated her and were low key scared of her and high key scared of what might happen with her around

they think the beasts are coming partly because of her

and whatever dr reverend emperor john did to resurrect her

the emperor says he didn't kill her, he "switched her off"

not successfully, because she's been sort of roaming around

mercygirl and augustine say that everything about this is very sus because what if he didn't kill AL??? and what is going on with the origin of his power???

dr reverend emperor john goes "you both do tend to go overboard on the foreplay"

mercygirl and augustine figured out that harrow's true cavalier had AL's eyes

but it was impossible for a baby to be born with AL's genes

however, it was very probable that a baby had been born in the ninth with the emperor's genes

because they had been planning on that to happen

albeit in a different way, without the human intervention

so, if gideon has AL's eyes but the emperor's genes

it means AL's eyes aren't hers and the emperor's aren't his

the emperor's weird eyes are AL's and gideon's eyes are the emperor's

because.......

he achieved lyctorhood without having to slurp his cavalier aka AL

I'm very interested in this potential situation if we get gideon alive again

but everyone else is pissed off because they had to slurp their cavaliers unnecessarily

yandere twin also decides to join the chat after this

and, apparently, anastasia had figured it out too

the ninth necro who everyone said was the one who couldn't become a lyctor

the one with a room unused

until harrow

the emperor's version of events is that things went off the rails in the process and he had to kill them both

augustine tells dr reverend emperor john to just stop already with his plan of destroying everything

and the emperor says that the man before his resurrection would have hated him to say that

mercygirl then goes "I'll forgive you if you tell me you didn't mean to kill my cav"

and the emperor goes "yes, I'll do whatever"

so he hugs mercygirl

and mercygirl

FUCKING DECIMATES HIM

SHE WRECKS HIM

SHE MELTS HIM INTO NOTHINGNESS

gideon says she's an orphan again while I'm giving everyone a party hat and a piece of celebratory cake

I'M SORRY THIS WAS LONG but we're reaching the end of this book!!! See you next time!!!

[wallflowergirl2006]

Sonic.Exe x Chubby GF [Headcanons]

[For clarification the Sonic.Exe I’m going to be using is X from Sonic Legacy aka Friday Night Funkin: Rodent Rap] {So if you don’t like FNF you can politely leave and click not interested}

[Not Proofread]

~•Banner by Ad0rey on pintrest•~

★ Okay, so first off how did you manage to get this guy to not kill you let alone date you??

★ Despite the differences in body structures and personalities plus the fact he's an anthropomorphic hedgehog and you're a human is very surprising..

★ Also surprisingly he doesn’t really mind the difference between you and him, in fact he actually likes it. He’s always been interested in humans whether it be for horrific or non-horrific reasons.

★ Like in my previous post since he really ain’t that tall. When he’s trying to be intimidating it is not really that scary to you since you’ve gotten used to him and his presence. He’ll catch you off guard sometimes since he’s sonic [But not really] so of course he’s just as fast as him.

★ But he can say some disturbing ass shit that will frighten or startle you but if he feels like he’s gone too far he will apologize to you but don’t expect him to do that for anyone else. Since you're close to him only you get that privilege.

★ But also because of your closeness to him he will sometimes want you to inflate his ego. If you do participate in boosting his ego [That’s probably bigger than Jupiter /j] expect him to get very cocky and rant about his accomplishments but don’t worry he’ll give you a break if it gets “too awesome to handle.”

★ But if you don’t he’ll roll his eyes and say that you're missing out on a ton of great stories and achievements he’s done.

★ This guy is obsessed with you and your body. He is aware that humans have different personalities, body types and features. Though he’s never encountered a human that had the nerve to challenge him but was also acutely aware of their disadvantages. This intrigued him quite a bit.

★ Plus the way you carried yourself, the way your outfit made you look very attractive but very modest at the same time. The way your hair framed your soft features in such a delicate way. He knew he was hooked whether that was a good or bad thing he didn’t know and he also didn’t really care.

★ If you have any Sonic merch, be on high alert because he’s the number one Sonic fan. [He told me himself /j] He might borrow your Sonic stuff but don’t worry he gives it back to you in the condition it was found in.

★ Does anyone know the “I wonder what I taste like” meme. Yeah, that’s you and him. You would be asking the question obviously and X would have one of two thoughts in his head. The first one would be him biting your chubby tummy or thighs and the second one would just be a normal make out session.

★ Since you’re a bit thicker than a lot of his other victims I can see him using you a personal heater if he gets too cold. He also likes biting and leaving marks on you mostly on your thighs and your sides but if he feels threatened by another person he’ll bite the crook of your neck but if he bites you too hard or if you have skin issues he’ll find some other way to make others back off and let them know that you belong to him.

★ He also likes the feel of skin. It's so soft and squishy. The way your plush stomach looks as soft as a cloud, the way your cheeks puff up with food while you're eating, or the way your thighs expand when you sit down. If he sees you sit down he will legit go up to you and say this. “Damn your thighs be looking kinda grabable.” in a playful/teasing way.

★ If you ever feel insecure about yourself. He might not be the best to confide in because once again he’s known for torturing and killing humans not comforting them but he’ll try his best to help you. Whether it be by listening or physical touch. Maybe he’ll sing or hum some Sonic themes from some of the games he’s seen you play.

★ I feel like he goes into his normal sonic form to trick you. It definitely worked a few times in the past but since you’ve gotten to know him you can see past his tricks. Now it only kinda works if you’ve just woken up and haven’t fully gotten out of the sleepy/tired phase or if you're having an off day.

“Hun.. what are you doing?” You ask X while looking down at him. “What does it look like I’m doing?” He asked as his face deadpanned. A small snicker escapes your lips. “It looks like you're pinning my stomach?” You replied in a teasing tone. X frowns at you while his eyes narrow slightly. “You know.. your stomach do be looking kinda biteable.” X said as he smiled which showed off his sharp yellow teeth. “Okay, Okay.. I’m sorry.” You said in a hurried voice as he laughed.

★ All in All I still think this relationship is sweet in an opposite attract kind of way.

[kyoteugly]

If not Buddie, why Buddie shaped? #2

Following my theory that season 7 and 8 are new seasons 1 and 2 on abc, where the writers revisits the big events from character’s pasts and retells them (you can read it here) I want to look closer at new episode 8x06 “Confessions”.

This is all fresh in my mind, I watched the episode like 4h ago, there is a chance I’ll miss something.

Like I said, I think we’re going to see at least 4 more big moments revisited (or rather the emotional state those events invoked) from previous seasons before Buddie goes canon. Kitchen scene, well, will and shooting arc. And one of those happened in this episode! But also so many other things! 

EDDIE:

Starting with Eddie in the confessional. I can’t help but see his fight club era here (call me bias, I love season 3 Eddie so much!). An attempt to find a healthy outlet to his emotions. He’s struggling and fighting with his inner demons, this time instead of rage it’s sadness and loneliness. 

And he is doing it with an outsider's help. Father Brian is like Lena Bosko. Why Lena and not Frank? I think Eddie would just shut on therapy at this point. He needs someone to talk to, someone with opinions and advice, caring enough to want to help but also not afraid to go straight to the point and call his bs - Lena and Father Brian did just that.

Ok. Time to revisit a big event from Eddie’s past - the well. ABC put the call with the little boy trapped in a pipe in episode promo as the red herring. The real purpose of this call was to remind us about the Eddie Begins episode. The important thing from Eddie Begins is that Eddie was alone in the dark pit - and in the end he saved himself. 

So the real connection between those two episodes is not in the call where 118 saves the little boy, but between Eddie coming out from underwater, drawing a deep breath and Eddie shaving a mustache, shedding his mask and dancing, breathing fully again.

sorry for the meme, I'm tired

It’s also interesting that the moment Eddie allowed himself to feel joy Buck knocked at his door.

BUCK:

This one is pretty straight forward. Like I said before, Tommy represents Abby - a transformative relationship - like Buck said himself. The fact that Tommy was engaged with Abby is a really beautiful way to further connect and close both relationships. What leads to the break up from Tommy’s side is also similar. Tommy knows he would fall deeply for Buck, and Abby didn’t come back because she knew she would lose herself in Buck. They were both protecting themselves.

And here is also a little parallel to Ali. Like her, Tommy offers Buck a proper and honest break up, showing maturity, understanding and clear reason why. And yes, Ali was also protecting herself, ending their relationship before they broke each other's hearts.

And one more thing from Buck’s side. The whole Abby thing throws him off. Maddie tells him it’s not a big thing, Josh tells him not to judge Tommy (honestly, Josh’s speech is amazing!) - this calms him down in the end, dating the same woman doesn’t feel awkward anymore. But the questions Josh is asking leave Buck confused. Taking the next step, moving in together - it’s like Buck is trying to prove he really feels those things Josh was talking about (or maybe even compensate for his “freak out”, confirm he’s fully into this relationship). And on some level Buck has those feelings, he cares about Tommy, but more than that, he simply feels he should be on the level Josh suggested and he wants this to work. It’s Buck’s impulsiveness coming to play, an action that causes reaction in a form of big gesture to confirm his feelings - a nod to his relationship with Taylor.

Fortunately Tommy explains those feelings to Buck (and to the audience) in a very kind way. 

Honestly, their relationship (the last two episodes especially) was handled beautifully, without unnecessary drama, without too much spotlight. It started with fireworks, naturally progressed and faded gently.

The cherry on top: Evan meant something more, something special for Tommy. Ending his goodbye with Buck means “we’re friends now”.

BUDDIE:

There are two things here I want to mention.

Ever since Gerrard separated Buck and Eddie this is the episode where we can see them working together as partners again. And this finally wraps up the divorce era.

The ending scene represents different scenes for each of them, ending different arcs.

For Buck the couch scene represents Abby’s comeback in season 3. He watched her ride off in the ambulance with her fiance (with Eddie solid by his side), and later he got closure from her.

For Eddie this scene represents him being embraced by the 118 after he dug himself out from the well. He’s connected again, no longer alone. 

And of course, the most obvious and sweetest thing - it’s the right couch (and they finally drink that beer).

Bonus MADNEY:

Couldn’t help but notice some revisits here.  Maddie’s postpartum depression is addressed very clearly, nothing to add here. During the pandemic Chimney stayed at Buck’s place, afraid to put pregnant Maddie in danger of catching the virus. Something happened on a call that changed his mind, made him overcome his fear and enjoy the future with his family. The same in this episode. But there is a little twist here and it involves brothers. In season 7 the new audience learned about Kevin. Guess who wasn’t yet introduced (and also took care of Maddie during the pandemic)... yes, I believe this season we will see Albert again. 

That’s it for now. Let me know if you want more posts like this. Feel free to contact me if you want some clarification or just to talk.

Tagging some people who may be interested (if you want me to remove you from this post let me know): @buddiebeginz @stagefoureddiediaz @lemotmo @inell

[rs-hawk]

I submitted the idea for day two and I just wanted to say I loved it so much! I’m a huge fan of your work and really appreciate you indulging us with your talent ♥️

If you’re still taking B&B ideas, I love the idea of the Beast using the magic mirror and it always showing Belle. And he, frustrated by what he sees, shaking the mirror like a magic eight ball, but it allows for him to learn about her and fall for her.

But also… Beast having a hard time taking off Belle’s ball gown with his big claws, so she gives him a strip tease and leaves him high and dry as payback for ruining her other dresses.

Use whatever you like, or none at all 😊

Okay crying?? Thank you so much. I love getting to write and the fact that I get so much love is sometimes overwhelming. While I'm not making enough off my writing to live off of, the fact that I'm making anything is amazing to me. I appreciate it more than I can say that you enjoyed it enough to request another post. It's like that old meme "They like me. They really like me!". Lol. Anyway, Day Five 😭 ❤️

CW: this post contains graphic depictions and smut. This is intended for an 18+ audience. Knotting, excessive cum, talks of pregnancy, light pain and blood, etc

After the previous day’s encounter, Belle was too embarrassed to see Beast. She just wanted a small break. Her feelings about him were still so mixed up, and she was so sore that with every step she could still feel how he stretched her. It made her cheeks flush red every time she thought of it.

“Belle, the Master requests you for dinner,” Cogsworth announced outside of her door.

“I’m not hungry. I don’t feel very well,” she called out, curling up on her bed.

The clock did his best to encourage her to come out, but ultimately, he gave up. Just as her wardrobe did. Her pussy ached to feel the Beast again, but she knew that she could never go and ask him for that. Her head was still spinning from the day prior, especially the surprisingly tender kiss they shared. Absent mindedly, her fingers grazed her lips, still swollen and puffy from their shared kisses.

When Beast found out Belle wasn’t coming, his heart sank. Had he hurt her? Or did she not enjoy herself as much as he had thought? Growling to himself, he stalked back up to the West Wing. His claws curled around the mirror he held.

“Show me my girl. Show me Belle,” he asked of it.

The mirror obliged after a moment, showing Belle in her bed. Her fingers were on her lips, a small smile tugging at the corners. The sight made his heart skip a beat. Was she thinking about him? She laid in the bed, one hand slipping under her blanket. Was she touching herself? If she was, was she thinking about last night?

In annoyance, he shook the mirror. “Give me a better view!” he demanded of it, shaking it as if that would chance the angle he was shown.

Of course it didn’t, so in frustration, he tossed the mirror aside. Yet, after a moment, he picked it back up. He spent the rest of the night watching her, and from then on, every moment she wasn't with her, he was watching her. He saw the things that made her laugh so loud she snorted, and that made her just give a small half smile. He was obsessed with that mirror because he thought that that was the only way that he would ever be close to her again.

Eventually she was able to be around him again without feeling like she was reliving the feeling of his brutal pace once again. When Mrs. Potts set up a date for the two of them, she shyly agreed. The wardrobe helped her get dressed, but she knew the basics of how to take it off. It would just need to be slightly loosened. Just enough for her to be able to pull the cords from. The underclothes were easy enough to take off.

After the dance, she was happy to be close to him again, as he was with her. The mirror lay forgotten in his room. He only had eyes for the gorgeous woman standing in front of him, her gloved hands caressing his arms, his fur.

"Do you want to come back to my room?" Belle asked in a soft voice, knowing that the wardrobe would scamper off at the sight of the Beast, leaving the two of them alone.

A low groan left his throat as he nodded, "Yes."

The two of them practically sprinted to her room, him scooping her up in his arms when they got close. Just as Belle predicted, the wardrobe ran off out of her room as Beast came in. With a gentleness that made Belle's heart soften even more, he set her on the bed. His claws immediately were on her gown, trying to undo the intricate lacework of the corset top.

After a few moments, he huffed in frustration. "Why do these things have to be so difficult?"

He raised up a paw, clearly to just rip the dress off of her, but she jumped up. "No! It's gorgeous. I can take it off myself."

Beast relented, feeling bad for upsetting Belle again. He hadn't thought of how she would feel getting a gown that was so high quality, and then him immediately wanting to destroy it. "Alright."

Belle smiled. As she slipped off her gloves, tossing them onto the bed besides Beast, she thought about how the last time they were alone together, he had ripped her dress. Her favorite dress. Maybe she could show Beast how it would feel to no longer have something you enjoyed.

A mischievous idea formed in her head as she slowly began to undo the dress in the back. Maybe she could get back at him, teasing him just a bit. Sure tomorrow she might feel a little guilty and give herself to him, but for tonight, she wanted to be at least somewhat in control.

Beast's hungry eyes followed every movement of her body. The way she slightly jutted out one hip as she was unlacing the corset. The way her hands ran down her waist after she dropped the gown to the floor. When she had gotten the hoop and underskirt off, leaving her in little more than a glorified ruffled one piece, she made her way over to him.

His mouth was watering as she closer to him, dropping the remainder of her clothes to the floor. The air between them was almost thick enough to taste. However, when he reached for her, she stepped back.

"What are you doing?" he asked in an almost hoarse voice.

Almost coyly, she smiled, leaning over to grab a simple nightgown that she had set out before she left. Slipping it on, she smoothed it out, hiding what the Beast considered the glorious sight of her body. "I'm getting ready for bed. I did enjoy seeing you like this tonight though. Maybe we should have breakfast together."

Stunned, frustrated, and a little confused, he started to protest as Belle led him out of a room, but she shut the door in his face, silencing any further protests. At least he had the mirror to watch her as he touched himself. Maybe she would touch herself for him too. At least then he would get something out of tonight.

Like this story? Support me on Ko-fi ☕ ❤️

[midnight1nk]

⭐️A few days ago...⭐️

Wow, what a wholesome episode! "The rosemary to my bread", dude, I hope my future partner will say that to me one day. Now that I had my weekly dose of silly, time to check the Puzzlevision website! Eh, I bet it's going to be the same as...

[*SCREAMING*]

WOTFI 2024 PREDICTIONS REVISITED

⚠️ DISCLAIMER IN INTRO POST ⚠️

An eye for an eye...

How are we feeling, SMG4 fandom? It's that time of year and many have speculated about WOTFI as well as what might come afterwards. Myself included with my previous theory posts, suspecting that something big is guaranteed to happen. And we didn't have to wait long.

On the 14th of September, just a few days ago, the channel's latest episode, 'SMG4 and SMG3 come up with an episode' was released. But what truly made the fandom lose their mind was the sudden change of the Puzzlevision website. If you need a refresher, here is what it looked like before:

It had:

[puzzlevision.tv] being the site title and URL

Mr Puzzles' logo

A central image that transitioned between a webp to a gif file and vice versa on certain occasions

(after choosing Save As option) the image already labeled as Now Airing

Now, there was talk about this that wasn't left originally, stating that the image (that used to be larger) now had a black border around it. At least, at the time. As someone who has worked with web design, there's actually a number of reasons why this is.

Depending on the resolution/zoom setting on your device, it might alter the site's layout.

As said earlier, the image alternated between a gif to a webp. All websites require a background color underneath all of its assets so the change in image/file size may have shrunk than what was originally. Especially if you are attempting to make it look seamless between the transitions.

Long story short, It's simply how web layouts are: formatting gets a bit wonky from time to time.

Anyway, as I already mentioned, the website has changed to this,

(supposedly someone said the password was "carnival")

Then, to this:

Changes include:

The title "War of the Fat Italians 2024" with a similar URL [www.wotfi2024.com]

SMG4 logo

A whole new layout design (obviously) which just gives off 'Greatest Showman' energy

And now we've come to the present day: fans have already submitted their minigame challenges and preparing for a carnival-themed adventure. For me and other theorists, though, we're having a field day. From the clues I gathered on the website and a few past episodes, I might be able to put together what the channel has for us this year. Let's revisit my "WOTFI 2024 Predictions"!

I already covered a lot in depth in my "Puzzlevision 2: Now Airing" theory [link] and I'll be referring back to it here, so I recommend looking it over if you haven't already.

THE WEBSITE

I was honestly surprised that I was right about a couple of things. The main one being about the website itself.

The people behind SMG4 didn’t need to put this image in, they didn’t need to keep this website on. But they did.

Well, past Ink, you nailed it. And according to Cube (FM), this is the same website host.

"don't read into it too much"

Cube, with everything going on, I might as well interrogate a website for memes' sake.

Wait, what's wrong with it?

The fact that the website is used for WOTFI of all things is what's so strange. All the previous WOTFI'S asked the fans to submit their challenges through the comment section or social media. No other option was involved until now.

Maybe they wanted to try something different like what they did for WOTFI 2023?

That's a good point. It was stated that they wanted to be more experimental with their episodes. But even then, the '23 stream they hosted was on their channel, on Youtube.

Maybe they didn't want it to go to waste? After all, sites can be expensive.

Again, it's a good point. Depending on the domain they used and the apps connected to the site, it can be costly. However, I do want to iterate what I said earlier: they didn't need to keep this website up. Better yet, if they didn't want to raise any flags, why not keep the site how it originally was with the "That's all folks!" image? Why the change? Which brings us to our next point,

WHO IS THE REAL SMG4?

Let me explain...

After the change of the website, we got this post,

This brings up a lot of questions:

Who sent the letter?

If we can assume that's Four's hand, why did the post say "you" as if there is a narrator?

If Four had no idea about a carnival coming to town, then why would he ask us to submit challenges for a carnival he's supposedly hosting?

Well, they're pretty easy to answer. We already established that Marty would come back to be the most likely antagonist for WOTFI. I mean, this cardboard cutout managed to own a pizza shop, a casino, an airline company, and a spaghetti sauce brand. It wouldn't be a surprise if he also happened to own a carnival. But as I said in previous theories, Marty isn't working alone.

He's working with Mr Puzzles.

Mr Puzzles was the one who sent the letter to SMG4 just as he did for Wren in Western Spaghetti (indirect or not). It hasn't exactly shown if the letter had his seal on it. Not that it needs to anyway, they would recognize his logo and know they can't trust what's inside this envelope.

Remember how I said in my previous theory that one of the ways Mr Puzzles could control SMG4 was for our blue meme lord to be his eyes and ears? In the latest episode, SMG3 comes up with the idea of a carnival coming to the showgrounds for a week, and SMG4 wanting to go on the baby teacup ride.

Mr Puzzles was there, listening to every word they said to each other. He has been since "SMG4: Inside Out".

Could it just be purely by coincidence and just something out of improv? Sure, the SMG4 & SMG3 side episodes aren't really connected to canon. But like, c'mon, the channel knew what they were doing. Everything has to be put into consideration.

If that's true, the narrator could be Mr Puzzles, the second voice inside his head. Or, for those who love the goop!4 theory, the voice could be the demonic goo slowly taking over.

Now, back to the post!Four and site!Four. If we can assume the Four from the post is our Four, then the one impersonating Four would be Mr Puzzles, once again controlling the events in WOTFI. This time, using his website. Like Cube said, Mr Puzzles is the same website host as before. Also, look at these two:

It would be too obvious if we see a PNG of Mr Puzzles on the website again so why not impersonate his narrative foil. Well, at least look dapper while you're at it.

Or, even better, Four does know about the carnival but either the goo or Mr Puzzles are erasing certain memories.

A GAME OF WITS

Speaking of the website, let's analyze the description:

Step right up, WOTFI is coming to town and we need your challenges but this time...WITH A TWIST! We're doing a carnival theme this year and we want challenges named like a minigame and a description of what they are! For example "Whack a Bob - Who can smash bob with a hammer first?" OR "Pizza Pie Peril- Survive giant pizza's raining form the sky' Guidelines - Please only 1 challenge per person - Nothing inappropriate - Please add your internet profile name in the 'name' field below Thank you and see you soon!!! -SMG4

Carnival theme, huh?

Well, last year's theme made sense. Three's notebook was stolen and was risked of getting leaked. With the casino being heavily guarded, Four and Three had to sneak in. A secret mission to take back a secretive object.

If this WOTFI has Marty and Mr Puzzles working together, then It would make sense for a businessman and an entertainer would come up with something like a carnival. The best of two worlds: fun and capitalism. Besides, the Showgrounds would be a perfect place to host it since it used to be an abandoned carnival and Mr Puzzles having something to do with the land ownership.

[SMG4: Our New Home // timestamp: 5:38]

Now, what is peculiar is the use of the term "minigame".

Ink, it's a carnival. You have to stick to the theme of carnival rides and games.

Fair, but this is WOTFI we're talking about here. If you win a challenge, you get closer to the end and win a point for your side. For WOTFI '23, every choice impacted the story and therefore the ending. If the SMG4 crew plays and wins these minigames, what do they get in return? And if they lose, would there be a punishment?

It will entirely depend on how WOTFI would play out, in three scenarios:

Marty is revealed to be behind the carnival at the beginning of WOTFI and the Crew learns that, in order to reach him, they have to win some mini-games.

Marty isn't revealed until the near end. The Crew only came because they wanted to have some fun for the day but learned that this was a sort of trap created by Marty (along with Mr Puzzles but they don't know that yet).

OR BONUS SECRET OPTION

Both Marty and Mr Puzzles revealed themselves to be the ones hosting the carnival, meaning it's less likely that Puzzlevision 2 would happen unless something else happens.

Then, there is the phrase "WITH A TWIST". Sure, it could mean that it would be different than our regular old WOTFI, just as it happened in 2023. But WOTFI 2023 also revealed the twist that Mr Puzzles was actually the one orchestrating the whole thing, sending the fax to Marty about the secret recipe and his theme scattered in the background in multiple episodes. We might get a twist by the end of this year's WOTFI as well. Bonus points if we hear a version of his theme again.

Back in my Puzzlevision 2 theory, I predicted that the final battle with Mr Puzzles would happen back where it all started. With the carnival coming into the Showgrounds, it comes back full circle.

ONE STEP CLOSER

There isn't much to change from what I predicted:

Karen would be a key character for WOTFI this year. Maybe Karen just wanted her kids to have fun for the day, or even the corporation, her former workplace, gave her a tip that Marty would be there.

The Crew would have to find Marty's absolute weakness since he's technically invincible.

And possibly Pedro coming back to assist the Crew somehow.

But now I have a new prediction, based on the latest episode:

SMG4's and SMG3's relationship would change to a whole new level. That Four may need Three for something or if Three realizes something about himself, it would change their dynamic regardless.

It's really similar to how it was for WOTFI 2023 with small bits here and there all coming back to a single episode. (The notebook, the duo's meme guardian powers, Four's forklift, Three moving out of the Internet Graveyard, etc.)

It's still too early to confirm anything, but at the very least, we now have some idea what WOTFI may be about as well as evidence to back up some of my theories.

Will we get goop!4? God, I wish. I was listening to "Friends on the Other Side" and I was just imagining scenarios of Mr Puzzles taking complete control of Four with the goo. If it doesn't happen for whatever reason, I'll write it myself.

Oh well, we would just have to wait and see. In the meantime, that’s just a theory…

AN SMG4 THEORY

🎶Thanks for dropping by🎶

[luvsymai]

FAKE BOYFRIEND ; Shoto Todoroki

Chapter 6. PERVERT RADAR IS ON!

Genre: Romance, fluff

Warnings: Uncomfortable situation on the train.

<- Series

<- Previous chapter // Next part ->

___________________________________

You looked at yourself in the mirror, perfectly content and satisfied with how you looked.

You’re wearing a white frilly dress, it has off-shoulder silky, wide straps and the top is kind of like a corset. The dress has tiny pink rose patterns on it, basically a floral print, and you paired your outfit with a small little pearl choker.

Your hair was half up, half down. There was a cute baby pink bow in your hair. You touched up your make up a bit, it wasn’t much. You were going for a no make up-make up look.

Once you were done, you looked at the mirror one last time before putting the foods inside the basket, and two tumblers which were red and white. You didn’t mean to match the color of your tumblers to Todoroki’s hair, but it was all you had left.

You quickly brought out your phone, and sent a text to Todoroki, telling him that he can come to your dorm now. He immediately texted back a few seconds later, which he replied with a simple ‘Okay.’

You set the basket down on the floor, before you put your shoes on. They were cute, black Mary Jane shoes. After you wore your shoes, you heard a knock on your door.

You quickly stood up and fixed your hair, before getting ahold of the basket and opened the door. There stood Todoroki, who was in casual clothes; he was wearing a white collared shirt, paired with a dark blue sweater and baggy beige pants. He was carrying a checkered picnic blanket with a handle on one hand, and on his shoulder was a black sling bag.

“Good morning, (Last name)…” He greeted.

Hey lol.

Was what you internally thought as you analysed Todoroki and his outfit.

You were shamelessly checking him out, which made him cough. You forgot that he was actually in front of you.

Your eyes quickly traveled back to his own gaze, and his expression was unreadable again.

“Uh, do I look bad…?” He had asked.

“N-No! You look better dressed than me, if I’m being honest.” You shook his question off. He really does look attractive.

“Oh? But you look attractive to me, though…” He looked confused at what you said, and was straight up honest with his compliment, which made your cheeks heat up.

“Thank you… um, let’s go now?” You changed the topic, before you noticed that he also brought a picnic basket in his other hand. “Wait, you also prepared food?”

“Well, yeah… I didn’t want to go empty-handed.” He explained.

“Oh, but you didn’t have to!”

“I wanted to, so…”

“Alright, then shall we go now?” You asked, making him nod.

You made sure to lock the door of your room first, before leaving with him. On your way outside, you had met with Mina, Kirishima, and Bakugo. It was common to see the three of them together.

“Oh wow, where are the lovebirds going, huh? On a date, perhaps?” Mina went to the two of you, to which Kirishima followed, and bakugo trailed behind him with a usual scowl on his face.

“Mhm! We are.” You replied, enthusiastically.

“Oh, Todoroki, what’s up bro,” Kirishima continued. “Did you know that…”

“What?” Todoroki responded, curiously.

“That i ain’t ever seen two pretty best friends,” He grinned, doing gestures with his hands. Mina and I burst out of laughter while Todoroki was confused, and Bakugo only cringed.

“That meme’s already dead, dude,” I commented.

“Dead as hell.” Mina added.

“I’m going back to the dorms. Bye.” Bakugo walked past us as he couldn’t contain it anymore.

“Well, we’ll go now, too! We wouldn’t want to mess up your date, bye!” Mina grabbed Kirishima forcefully, and left.

Silence enveloped the two of you, with only the vague sounds of footsteps of the three of them leaving that faded after awhile.

“…What did Kirishima mean by two pretty best friends?” Todoroki questioned, breaking the silence between the two of you.

“Oh, well… It’s an inside joke.” You started to explain as you two started walking. He listened attentively to your explanation even though it was just complete nonsense.

“Alright. Is it okay if we take the train on the way?” Todoroki asked once you finished yapping explaining.

“Yeah, it’s fine!” You assured him.

Once the two of you got inside the train, there were only a few people as it was the weekend, so you two were able to find some available seats. You fixed your dress as you sat, while he took the seat beside yours. You placed the basket on your lap, while he placed his next to him. The doors of the train closed, and started to take off after a few minutes.

“How long until we get there?” He asked.

“About…” You brought out your phone, and checked the location of the park. “20 minutes or so, i guess?”

“Okay.” He relaxed on his seat, making himself comfortable as he spread his legs a bit wider.

You envied Todoroki, since he could spread his legs freely, while you couldn’t as you were wearing a dress.

After awhile, a random stranger went in front of you and stood by, holding on to the train handle. You didn’t pay attention to him, but when he brought out his phone, you felt uncomfortable.

You felt like he was taking a picture of your thighs, so you pulled down your dress, but it didn’t do much since your thighs were still showing even though your basket also partly covered your thighs.

Todoroki glanced at you and the random man in front of you. He noticed your discomfort and suddenly removed his sweater, which made you snap out of your daze.

“Here.” He handed his sweater to you.

“Thank you…” You accepted his sweater gratefully, and covered your lap with it after putting your basket next to his. Once you were done, he stood up and went in front of you with his back facing you, you saw him whispering something next to the guy’s ear as he put his hands in his pocket.

“O-Okay! I will, I’m sorry!” The man nodded profusely, and left to go somewhere else.

Once he made sure that the stranger went far away from you, he sat next to you again, casually, like nothing happened.

“What did you say to that poor man?” You asked out of curiosity.

“Well, I just threatened him. That’s all.” He said, like it was nothing.

“O-Oh?” You didn’t bother asking him any more questions, scared to know what he said.

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Taglist: @eempxth @1ovesiick @meikoo @serxndipity-ipity-blog @visual-freak @h3artz4soph @flvr4ane @whoisgami @poemzcheng

[tonyspank]

CHAPTER FIVE | GET ME

Jenna Ortega x G!P Reader

Warnings: 18+ smut, cheating, and yaaaa Words: 2.7k A/N: couldn't make it as long bc its almost 12 am for me lolll... i will be going to bed

series masterlist | main masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

"Are you being deadass?" Eli asks, sitting up from his bed. You nod your head, pressing the buttons on the gaming controller in front of you. "Yea..." Eli groans, shaking his head. "WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THAT?"

You shrug, not sure how to answer. Eli sighs and lies back down, covering his eyes with a pillow. "You're so damn lucky that I love you," he says, his voice muffled by the pillow. "She kissed me back! And then she wore her ring again like it never happened." You say, pausing the game and turning around to face Eli.

Eli remains silent. You take a deep breath and wait until he sits up. He looks at you sighing. "They have depth, you guys do not. Plus, you haven't been showing her wifey material these last few days." You take another deep breath and try to explain yourself, but Eli just shakes his head and says, "You need to step it up if you want her to take you seriously."

He begins laughing, "Like that one meme. I'm not the stepfather, I'm the father who stepped up." He smiles, amused by his own joke. You can't help but smile too, despite the seriousness of the conversation. Looking at him, you take a deep breath and nod, determined to do better.

It was Tuesday after school, and again you were avoiding Jenna. She basically rejected you, but that wasn't going to stop you. You were adamant to make things right and treat her better than that asshole Jacob.

It felt like every day you fucked up and had to apologize to Jenna and every time she'd accept it and move on. You wanted to show her that she deserved better. You wanted to make it up to her, to make her feel special. You wanted to show her that you were the right one for her.

"I shouldn't force her into anything. I should be there whenever she needs me, right?" You ask Eli, but after a few moments, all you hear are snores filling the room. You sigh, shaking your head. You know deep down that if you really want to be there for her, you have to respect her decisions.

Letting her make her own choices is the best way to show that you care. You make a mental note to take a step back and give her the space she needs. It's not easy, but you know it's the right thing to do.

"Wait, wait, wait... so you're telling me Jacob was the one calling you?" Emma asks, and Jenna nods slowly in response. Emma looks at the girl in front of her, confused but resuming her assumption. "And he says some bullshit apology that you accept--" Jenna cuts her off, "It wasn't bullshit."

Emma stares at her, unimpressed. "It was complete bullshit," she scoffs. Jenna looks away, swallowing the lump in her throat. Jenna looks away, tears forming in her eyes. She knew what Emma was saying was possibly true, but she still wanted to believe it was sincere. "Don't cry, Jen..."

Emma reaches out and gently wipes away Jenna's tears. "I'm sorry," she whispers. Jenna looks up and nods, a small smile forming on her lips. "Then Y/N confessed to you? I'm still shocked about that."

Jenna takes a deep breath and nods. "Yeah, it was a surprise. She said she remembered our kiss and wanted something more out of it." Emma takes Jenna's hand in hers and squeezes it. "I'm here for you, always." Jenna looks into Emma's eyes and nods, her smile growing wider. She leans in and hugs Emma.

Emma holds Jenna close and whispers, "It's okay, I'm here for you." Jenna nods, feeling relieved and comforted. She pulls away and smiles, grateful for her friend's support. "Thank you, Em."

Emma smiles and wipes away Jenna's tears. "Anytime," she says. They embrace again, and Jenna can feel the warmth and love radiating from Emma.

It's now nighttime. You're back in your room and Jenna's in hers. You didn't talk to her because she hasn't given you the opportunity to. You lay in your bed, texting Eli.

eli - what if she jus farted in ur mouth

you - bro wht

eli - deadass like

eli - ur eating the ass and she jus farts in ur mouth

you - why are we even talking about ass eating?

eli - can u not kink shame me here?

you - im abt to block u

eli - ur so fukcing mean rbo

Jenna exits her room, entering her bathroom. She turns the lights on, raising her phone to take a photo of herself. She was wearing a white silky lingerie nightwear dress. She smiled as she looked at the photo, satisfied with how she looked. She then sent the photo to Jacob, biting her thumb as she waited for his response.

A few moments later, Jacob replied with a string of heart emojis. Jenna smiled, relieved that he was pleased with her look. Her heart began racing as she pressed on to your messages. She started thinking about all the possibilities of what could happen if she sent them to you instead. She took a deep breath and clicked on the photo, her fingers trembling with anticipation. She hit the send button and waited, her heart pounding. She closed her eyes, hoping for the best.

You rise from your bed, exiting your conversation with Eli. You saw the message and opened it. Your eyes widened as the image appeared on your screen.

jen <3 -

She was so fucking gorgeous. Did she mean to send you this? You felt your heart racing as your eyes slowly took in every detail of her. You wanted her, wanted her more than anything. You quickly composed a response, eager to find out if she meant to send it to you.

you - jenna?

you - was this an accident?

Jenna stares at your response, her cheeks turning pink. She takes a deep breath before responding.

jen <3 - no, it wasn't an accident. i wanted you to see it.

She watches as three grey dots appear on the screen, bouncing around every now and then. Her heart pounds in anticipation of what you're about to reply, then it stops as the dots disappear. She stares at the screen in disbelief, feeling a mix of confusion and disappointment. She takes a deep breath and slowly exhales, shaking her head in frustration.

Until she hears your bedroom door open, she quickly leaves the bathroom, meeting you in the middle of the hallway. She looks up at you with a mix of emotions on her face, not knowing what to say or do.

You take a step forward and bring her into a heated kiss. As she begins to relax into it, she wraps her hands around your neck pulling you closer if that was even possible.

You tap on her thigh and she jumps up, wrapping her legs around your waist. You carry her to your bedroom and lay her gently on the bed. You cover her body with yours as you continue to kiss passionately. She moans, her hands exploring your body as you deepen the kiss.

You break apart, your eyes locked on each other, and the heat of the moment intensifies. "You're so beautiful, Jenna." You move your lips to her neck, gently kissing and nibbling as she sighs in pleasure. You feel her body trembling beneath you and you can't help but smile. You pull away and kiss her forehead tenderly, and she gazes up at you with a look of pure bliss.

You lean in and whisper in her ear, "Do you want to continue?" Jenna looks up at you with a small smile and nods. You press your lips against hers and kiss her deeply, your hands exploring her body as you do.

She wraps her arms around your neck as your tongues dance together. You can feel the heat radiating from her body as your passion builds. You break away, both of you breathless.

Her hands reach under your shirt, touching and gripping every part of your torso. She whispers your name, her voice filled with desire. You draw her close and kiss her again. Your longing for her grows with every touch. She takes off your shirt and you do the same for her. She pulls you close and your skin touches, feeling the mellowness radiating from each other.

Her hand leaves your core, and she reaches for your shorts, pulling them slightly. You slide out of your shorts and began kissing down her body, she gasps in pleasure, and you feel the same. "Y/N," she gasps out, tangling a hand in your hair.

You smile against her skin and continue exploring her body. You feel her trembling beneath you as you move lower, and you can feel her anticipation. You finally reach her inner thighs, and you know she's ready for you. Because she's so damn wet. You slide two fingers into her and she gasps, her back arching up off the bed. You watch her reaction, a smile on your face.

You start to move your fingers in and out of her, and her breathing gets more ragged. You feel her muscles tense around your fingers. "So...so good." You lean back down and tease her with your tongue and fingers, driving her wild with pleasure.

Her body trembles and she grabs onto your shoulders to steady herself. You began attacking her clit, flicking it with your tongue as you thrust your fingers deeper and faster. "Y/N! Fuck!" She shudders, her orgasm reaching its peak. "I'm gonna..."

"CUM!!" she cries out in pleasure. You slow down and kiss her softly as she comes down from the high. She wraps her arms around you, her body still shaking from the pleasure. She looks into your eyes, a satisfied smile on her lips. She takes a deep breath and pulls you in for a passionate kiss.

The two fingers that we're just inside of her raise to your lips, and just as you're about to suck them off she stops you, her eyes burning with desire. She does it herself instead, staring at you through her brown hooded eyes, her full lips pressed together tightly, the tip of her tongue darting out to taste the sweet nectar on her fingers. She licks them clean, then leans in and whispers in your ear, her breath hot against your skin. "Lay back, let me return the favor."

Were you dreaming? Again?

You do as instructed. She begins to kiss your neck and nibble gently on your ear. Her hands explore your body, caressing your abs. "I love how fit you are. It turns me on so much." You can feel yourself getting aroused. You can feel her breath on your skin and it sends a shiver down your spine. You turn to her and kiss her and she pulls away too early for your sake.

She lies on your legs, her eyes burning with passion as her hands rest on your sides. You feel your heart skip a beat as you gaze into each other's eyes. Never breaking the gaze she grabs your cock, and starts stroking it with her delicate touch.

You feel a wave of pleasure run through your body as she moves her hands with gentle skill. You can barely hold back your moans as you give in to the intense pleasure.

"Keep your hands on the bed." She lowers her head and takes you in her mouth, her tongue curling around you as you feel her warm breath on your skin. "Oh my." You rasp out, clenching the bedsheets under you. Her tongue moves in circles, exploring every inch of you as her soft lips massage you.

She pauses, her eyes fixed on yours as she licks her lips, her movements becoming more passionate. You can feel the tension inside of you building, as she hums and sucks, pushing you closer to the edge. With one final stroke, pleasure rushes through your body. "Fuckkkk."

She smiles, sitting on your stomach as you are left panting with satisfaction. She leans in and kisses you softly, her hands caressing your face. She sits back up, a hand skillfully reaching behind her, teasing you again with a trail of fingers. You exhale in pleasure as she continues to explore, and you're hard again.

She straddles you again, lowering herself onto your erection. A hand helps while the other rests on your core, scratching you slightly. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. You're so big, baby." You grunt as she begins to move, her body pressing against yours as she rocks back and forth. She leans in and kisses you deeply, her tongue exploring your mouth.

When she leans back up, you grasp her hips, pushing them deeper with each thrust. You're truly in a daze, the pleasure too much to take in. You cry out, throwing your head back.

A quiet smack is heard throughout the room. "Keep your eyes on me." You quickly look up, locking your eyes with her. She smiles, her eyes twinkling with delight, but it fades away as her mouth opens widely, gasping your name out.

Your right hand leaves her waist, travelling up to her face. You cup her cheek lightly, caressing it with your thumb. She then turns her head, sucking on your thumb as her eyes never leave yours. You feel your heart racing, your skin tingling as she looks up at you. She was so fucking hot. She lets go of your thumb with a loud pop, grinning at your reaction.

You move your left hand to slap her ass, and she lets out a yelp of pleasure. You sit up, wrapping your arms around her waist, as she laughs and kisses you passionately. You fall back onto the bed, still holding her close as the kiss deepens.

She pulls away, her eyes full of desire as she whispers your name. "I'm about to cum." You grip her hips as she begins to quiver, her breathing becoming faster. You feel her tighten around you, waves of pleasure radiating through her body. She collapses on top of you, both of you panting with pleasure.

You lay her on her back, and she bites her bottom lip, looking up at you in excitement. You lean down and kiss her, your tongues intertwining as you move in rhythm. You enter her again, and you both let out a sigh of pleasure.

Your movements become more passionate, and her breathing quickens. A hand finds its way around your throat, pulling you back into a kiss.

Your pace intensifies, and her body trembles with pleasure. Her grip around your throat tightens as she reaches her climax, screaming out in ecstasy. "Y/NNNNN!!!" You follow behind, pulling out as your body shakes with orgasmic pleasure.

You collapse onto the bed, the two of you panting and sweaty. You smile and pull her close, your heart beating in unison. She lays her head on your chest, a hand pushing some hair off your forehead. You take a deep breath, content and satisfied.

What was the next step after all of this?

The next morning was just as normal as could be. You're sitting across from each other at the dining room table. You're a bit more smiley than usual and she notices.

"What are you smiling at?" You looked down, blushing. "Nothing," you said. She smiled knowingly and said, "It's okay, I know what you're thinking. I'm happy too."

Your eyes look at the ring on her finger and you clench your jaw, quickly taking a sip of coffee to hide your anger and confusion. She stands up, walks over to you and places herself on your lap. "It's okay," she says. "Let's just enjoy this moment." You look up at her and nod, giving her a small smile.

She wraps her arms around you and leans in for a kiss. You close your eyes and feel the warmth of her lips, instantly forgetting the pain in your heart. She pulls away and you open your eyes, finding yourself in a world of color and beauty.

"Do you wanna go shopping today?" You ask, your thumb rubbing against her waist. She smiles and nods, her eyes twinkling. "Sure," she mutters, staring at you before placing a kiss on your lips.

You just wanted to allow yourself to enjoy this and you knew she wanted to do the same.

taglist - @alexkolax @raven-ss @godsfavouritelesbiann @jennasslut @niqmandu @amburntfreeman @returnnofdamac @starry-night17 @get-the-fuck-outta-here @morganismspam23

[natasaa13]

"You're trouble" ft. Choso Kamo

Part 3

Previous

"You’re trouble, you know that?” Choso murmured, his voice filled with a mixture of amusement and affection.

Musa laughed softly, her hands still resting on his chest. “You’re not exactly innocent yourself.”

“Fair enough,” he said, his smirk widening.

Weeks had passed since that chance encounter in the library, and Musa’s days had taken on a new rhythm. Every morning, she’d wake up to a text from Choso.

Cho🦝: Good morning, princess. Don’t forget you’ve got that group project today.

It made her smile every time. Their conversations flowed effortlessly, spanning everything from their professors’ quirks to Satoru’s latest chaos.

Musa🐰: He really tried to convince the professor that his essay vanished into the ether?

Cho🦝: It’s Satoru. I think he almost had them convinced until Suguru called him out.

By night, their texts became even more intimate.

Cho🦝: Goodnight, Musa. Sweet dreams.

Musa: Goodnight, Cho. You too.

It was these little exchanges that had Musa falling, slowly but surely. She couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment her feelings shifted, but now, whenever she saw his name on her screen or heard his deep, calming voice, her heart raced.

--------------------------------------------

One afternoon, Musa was walking through the bustling college halls with Shoko. The brunette was grinning ear to ear, her excitement palpable.

“Suguru and I went bowling last week” Shoko began, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Let me tell you, your brother is—”

“Stop.” Musa held up a hand, her face scrunched in mock disgust. “I don’t want to hear how ‘hot’ my brother is.”

“But he is,” Shoko teased, nudging her playfully. “Honestly, you’re lucky you’re related, or—”

“Shoko!” Musa groaned, covering her ears.

Laughing, Shoko relented, changing the subject. “Fine, fine. Speaking of handsome guys, how are things with Choso?”

Musa felt her cheeks heat up. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on,” Shoko said, giving her a knowing look. “You two have been talking non-stop. Are you finally going to admit you like him?”

Musa hesitated, biting her lip. “Okay… maybe I do. But what if he doesn’t feel the same? I mean, he’s so calm and collected, and I’m just… me.”

Shoko waved off her concern. “Musa, you’re amazing. If he doesn’t see that, he’s blind. But you won’t know unless you try.”

Musa sighed, her shoulders slumping. “And what about Suguru? He’s going to freak out if he finds out I like one of his friends.”

“That’s true,” Shoko admitted with a shrug. “But it’s not like he can stop you. Besides, this is about you and Choso, not him.”

Musa nodded, though her doubts lingered.

“I’ve got an idea,” Shoko said suddenly, her eyes lighting up. “Suguru and I are going out to dinner tomorrow night. Why don’t you invite Choso over while we’re out? See how it goes.”

“Are you sure?” Musa asked, unsure but intrigued.

“Absolutely,” Shoko replied, grinning. “Just text me when we’re on the way back so you can, you know, hide him before your brother loses his mind.”

Musa couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”

But as they continued down the hallway, she already knew she was going to do it. The thought of having Choso over made her heart flutter, and for the first time, she felt like she was taking a step toward something real.

--------------------------------------------

The day started off like any other for Musa. Her phone buzzed as she walked across campus, and she couldn’t help but smile when she saw the notification.

Cho🦝: Found this one today, thought you’d like it.

It was another meme of a cat doing something ridiculously silly, this time trying to fit itself into a tiny vase. Musa giggled, her thumbs flying over the keyboard.

Musa🐰: Where do you even find these?

Cho🦝: Secret cat meme stash. I could share, but then I’d have to silence you.

Musa🐰: A little extreme for memes, don’t you think?

Cho🦝: Maybe. But you’re smiling, right?

She paused, realizing she was grinning from ear to ear. Before she could respond, someone grabbed her by the shoulders, making her jump.

“Boo!” Satoru’s familiar voice rang out behind her.

“Ugh, Satoru! What is wrong with you?” Musa clutched her chest, glaring at him.

“What’s wrong with you? Walking around with that goofy smile,” Satoru teased, peering over her shoulder. “What’s got you so distracted?”

“Nothing!” Musa said quickly, slipping her phone into her pocket.

Satoru wasn’t convinced. With his usual chaotic energy, he reached out and snatched the phone before she could react.

“Satoru, no! Give it back!” she pleaded, jumping to grab it.

But he was too tall, holding the phone high above her head as he unlocked it. His eyes immediately landed on the contact name: ‘Cho🦝’.

He froze, staring at the screen. Then, slowly, he turned to her, his eyes wide with mock disbelief. “Cho?”

“Give it back, Satoru,” Musa hissed, her face turning crimson.

“Oh. My. God,” Satoru said, his grin spreading like wildfire. “I knew it!”

“Knew what?!” Musa exclaimed, still trying to grab her phone.

“You and Choso!” Satoru shouted dramatically, spinning around in a circle. “I knew something was up!”

“Satoru, keep your voice down!” Musa pleaded, looking around to make sure no one was listening.

But Satoru wasn’t done. He shoved the phone back into her hands and crossed his arms, suddenly adopting a much more serious expression. “Alright, Musa. Spill. How did this happen? When did it start? And, most importantly, where is this going?”

Musa groaned, covering her face with her hands. “You’re not my brother, Satoru. I don’t owe you answers.”

“Yeah, but I’m like your brother, which means I get to do the overprotective thing now.” He leaned in closer, squinting. “Does Suguru know?”

“No!” Musa snapped. “And he’s not going to find out—especially not from you.”

Satoru raised his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. But seriously, Musa. How did this happen? You two barely talked before.”

Musa sighed, deciding there was no way to avoid the conversation. “It just… happened, okay? We started texting after a library study session, and now we talk every day. It’s nothing serious.”

Satoru tilted his head, a rare softness in his tone. “Do you like him?”

Musa hesitated, but eventually, she nodded. “Yeah, I think so”

Satoru’s teasing demeanor hardened for a moment, an unusually serious look crossing his face. “Listen, Musa. Choso’s my friend, but you should know… he’s not exactly the ‘settle down’ type. He’s been known to hop from girl to girl when he gets bored.”

Musa’s chest tightened at his words, but she managed to keep her voice steady. “You really think he’d do that to me?”

Satoru sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. I’ve never seen him with someone like you, but that doesn’t mean he’s changed. Just… be careful, okay? You’re my favorite little troublemaker, and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Musa nodded, a lump forming in her throat. “Thanks, Satoru. I’ll be careful.”

Satoru smiled, ruffling her hair. “Alright, secret’s safe with me—for now. But if Choso hurts you, I’m feeding him to the cats he loves so much.”

Musa couldn’t help but laugh, grateful for Satoru’s chaotic but supportive energy.

--------------------------------------------

The first class of the day was dragging. Musa tapped her pen against her notebook, her attention drifting far from the professor's monotone lecture. Her phone buzzed faintly in her bag, and she instinctively reached for it.

Her thumbs hovered over the keyboard as she debated whether to text Choso. Finally, she mustered up the courage.

Musa🐰: Hey, do you wanna hang out tonight? Suguru and Shoko are going out, so the house’ll be quiet.

The message sent, and Musa stared at her phone, nerves building. A few minutes later, her phone vibrated with Choso’s reply.

Cho🦝: Sure. What time?

Musa grinned, her stomach flipping in excitement.

Musa🐰: Come over around 7?

Cho🦝: I’ll be there.

The simplicity of his response only made her smile grow. She tucked her phone away and tried to focus on the lecture, but the rest of the class was a blur. All she could think about was seeing Choso later.

When the class ended, she quickly sent another text to Shoko.

Musa🐰: The plan’s on. Let me know when you and Suguru are heading back.

Shoko’s reply came almost instantly: You got it. Good luck, girl 😉.

Musa couldn’t stop smiling as she walked to her next class, her heart racing with anticipation for the night ahead.

--------------------------------------------

At home, Musa was pacing around the living room, anxiously glancing at the clock. She had just finished tidying up, ensuring the space looked effortlessly casual, when Suguru walked in, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt. He paused mid-step, his sharp eyes narrowing as he studied her.

"You've been acting weird lately," he said, folding his arms. "Is everything okay?"

Musa froze, her heart skipping a beat. "What? I'm fine! Why would you think something's wrong?"

Suguru raised an eyebrow. "I don’t know, maybe because you keep pacing like you're waiting for something—or someone."

"I'm not waiting for anyone," she blurted, a little too quickly.

He frowned, stepping closer. "Are you sure? I mean, if something’s bothering you, you can talk to me." His tone softened. "Is it because I’ve been spending so much time with Shoko? I know I’ve been busy, but I never want you to feel left out."

Musa's guilt flared, but she quickly shook her head. "No! It’s not that, I promise. I’m happy for you and Shoko."

Suguru searched her face, unconvinced. "Then what is it? Because if you're not feeling well, I can stay home. Dinner can wait."

"No, absolutely not," Musa said, her voice firm. "I’m fine. You’ve been looking forward to this, and so has Shoko. Go. I'll be okay."

Suguru hesitated, his brows knitting together. "You’re sure? You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?"

"Yes, I promise," she insisted, ushering him toward the door. "If anything happens, I’ll text you, but I doubt I’ll need to."

Suguru gave her one last skeptical look before sighing. "Alright, but don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything."

"I won’t," Musa said, practically shoving him out the door.

"Okay, okay!" he laughed, holding up his hands in surrender as he stepped outside. "Take care, Musa."

"You too," she called, quickly closing the door behind him.

As soon as he was gone, Musa let out a long breath of relief, leaning against the door. Now all she had to do was wait for Choso

As she paced the living room, glancing at the clock every few seconds. The anticipation of Choso’s arrival was enough to send her nerves into overdrive and the fact that Suguru wasn’t home made it all the more thrilling.

A knock on the door snapped her out of her thoughts. She quickly smoothed her hair, her heart racing as she opened the door to find Choso standing there, his hands tucked into the pockets of his hoodie.

“Hey,” he greeted, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

“Hi,” Musa replied, her voice quieter than intended. She stepped aside to let him in, the faint scent of his cologne brushing past her as he entered.

Choso glanced around the room, his gaze lingering on the framed photos of Suguru and Musa on the wall. “It’s a bit weird being here without Suguru,” he admitted, turning back to her. “But I don’t mind.”

Musa’s cheeks warmed at his casual tone. “Yeah, he’d probably flip out if he knew,” she said with a nervous laugh, closing the door behind him.

“Probably,” Choso agreed, a small smirk playing at his lips. He sat down on the couch, his posture relaxed. “So, what’s the plan?”

“Uh, I thought we could watch a movie?” Musa suggested, grabbing the remote.

“Works for me,” Choso said, leaning back into the cushions as Musa joined him.

She scrolled through the options, eventually settling on an action-comedy. As the movie started, she found herself acutely aware of his presence beside her. Their shoulders brushed slightly, and every time he laughed or shifted, her heart seemed to skip a beat.

“You okay?” Choso’s voice broke through her thoughts. Musa froze, realizing she had been fidgeting with the edge of her sweater.

“Y-yeah,” she stammered, her voice barely above a whisper.

Choso leaned closer, his dark eyes narrowing slightly. “You sure?” he asked, his hand reaching out to gently press against her forehead. “You feel a little warm.”

The closeness made her breath hitch. “I-I’m fine!” she blurted, her cheeks burning.

Choso raised an eyebrow, a teasing grin spreading across his face as he leaned back slightly. “You’re acting kind of weird, Musa.”

“I’m not!” she protested, though the crack in her voice said otherwise.

He chuckled softly, tilting his head to study her. “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing!” Musa said quickly, her hands clenching the hem of her sweater.

Choso’s grin widened. “Is it me?” he asked, his tone playful.

Her eyes widened, and she shook her head furiously. “No! Why would it be you?”

He leaned in again, his gaze holding hers. “Because you’re blushing,” he said, his voice dropping just enough to make her heart race.

“I’m not blushing!” she insisted, her voice rising in pitch.

“You are,” he said with a soft laugh, his fingers brushing lightly against her cheek. “And it’s kind of cute.”

Musa’s breath caught in her throat, her words failing her completely.

Choso’s teasing smile softened, his tone shifting to something more genuine. “You know, Musa,” he began, leaning back slightly but keeping his eyes on her. “I think you’re really cute. And… I’ve been starting to like you. And ai don't mean as a friend”

Musa’s heart pounded so loudly she was sure he could hear it. “You—what?” she managed to say, her voice barely above a whisper.

He chuckled again, though this time it was almost shy. “You heard me.”

She stared at him, her mind spinning as she tried to process his words.

“Well?” Choso prompted, his teasing grin returning. “What do you think?”

Musa’s breath hitched, and she stared at Choso, wide-eyed. “You… like me?” she repeated, her voice barely above a whisper.

Choso nodded, his expression soft but unwavering. “Yeah. I wasn’t sure at first, but being around you... I can’t ignore how I feel anymore.”

Musa’s cheeks burned, and she felt her heart race even faster, as if it was about to leap out of her chest. She opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out. Instead, she looked down at her hands, fidgeting nervously with the hem of her sweater.

Choso chuckled lightly, leaning forward. “Hey, it’s okay,” he said gently. “You don’t have to say anything right now. I just… wanted you to know.”

“No!” Musa blurted, her head snapping up. “I mean… I don’t want you to think I don’t… like you, too.”

Choso’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “You do?”

“I-I think so,” Musa admitted, her voice shaking slightly. She avoided his gaze, her fingers still twisting the fabric of her sweater. “You make me nervous. But not in a bad way. It’s just… you’re so close, and my heart won’t stop beating so fast, and—”

“Musa,” Choso interrupted softly, his voice laced with amusement.

She stopped rambling and finally looked at him. His smile was gentle, and the warmth in his eyes made her chest tighten.

“Take a deep breath,” he said, his tone playful but kind.

She did as he suggested, inhaling deeply to steady herself.

“Better?” he asked.

“A little,” she admitted, her lips curving into a small, shy smile.

Choso chuckled again, leaning back against the couch. “Good. Because I like making your heart race, but I don’t want to give you a heart attack.”

Musa let out a nervous laugh, her face heating up again. “You’re impossible.”

“Maybe,” he said with a grin, “but I’m glad I know how you feel now.”

"We have to keep it a secret though, if Sugu finds out we're both dead"

“Eh, I’m pretty sure I can take him,” Choso said with a playful smirk.

Musa rolled her eyes, but the laughter still lingered in the air, light and easy. She shook her head, leaning back against the couch. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I might be,” Choso said, his grin softening as he looked at her. “But I meant what I said earlier, you know.”

Musa turned to him, her heart skipping a beat at the sincerity in his voice. “About liking me?”

“Yeah,” he replied, his tone quieter now. “About you being cute. About liking you. All of it.”

She felt the heat rise to her cheeks again, and her hands instinctively continued fidgeting with the hem of her sweater. “You’re making it really hard to keep a straight face,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.

Choso chuckled softly, leaning a little closer. “Good. I like seeing you flustered.”

“Choso,” she said, her voice faltering as she met his gaze.

“What?” he asked, his tone gentle but teasing. “Is it wrong that I want to kiss you right now?”

Musa’s breath caught, her heart pounding in her chest. She didn’t answer right away, but the way her eyes flickered to his lips gave him all the encouragement he needed.

Slowly, carefully, Choso leaned in, his hand reaching out to brush a strand of her hair away from her face. His fingers lingered against her cheek, warm and steady, as he closed the distance between them.

Their lips met in a soft, tentative kiss, and the world seemed to fade away. It was gentle, like testing the waters of something fragile and new, yet it carried an undeniable spark that sent a rush through her veins.

When they pulled apart, Choso stayed close, his forehead nearly touching hers. “You okay?” he asked softly, his voice laced with both care and a touch of amusement.

Musa nodded, her cheeks warm and her heart fluttering. “Yeah,” she whispered.

“Good,” he said with a small grin. “Because I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”

She let out a soft laugh, her nervousness melting into something lighter.

As the movie played on, neither of them paid it any mind. The kiss hung between them, a quiet promise of the secret they would now carry together

--------------------------------------------

A few weeks passed by, Musa leaned against the kitchen counter, arms crossed, as she stared at her brother. Suguru was scrolling through his phone, barely acknowledging her.

“Hey, Suguru,” Musa said, her tone sweet but laced with mischief.

“What?” he asked distractedly.

“You’ve been hogging Shoko a lot lately,” she said, arching an eyebrow. “I think it’s about time I get my best friend back for a night.”

Suguru finally looked up, his brow furrowing. “What are you talking about? You see her all the time.”

“Not really,” Musa argued. “It’s been forever since we had a proper girls’ night. I mean, you’re practically glued to her these days.”

Suguru smirked, clearly unbothered by her accusation. “She’s my girlfriend. What do you expect?”

“And she’s my best friend,” Musa countered, jabbing a finger at him. “Don’t be selfish. You can survive one night without her.”

Suguru sighed, rolling his eyes. “Fine. Take her. But don’t get her into too much trouble.”

“Please,” Musa said with a grin, already grabbing her phone to text Shoko. “We’re way too classy for trouble.”

--------------------------------------------

The bar was alive with music and chatter, the atmosphere electric. Musa and Shoko sat at a small table with drinks in hand, their laughter blending into the hum of the crowd.

“It’s been too long,” Shoko said, raising her glass to Musa. “I missed this.”

“Me too,” Musa said, clinking her glass against Shoko’s. “No boys, no drama. Just us.”

They played a few rounds of pool, Musa managing to win only because Shoko was a little tipsy and laughing too hard to concentrate. Between turns, they shared stories, teased each other, and caught up like old times.

Once they settled back at their table, Shoko leaned her chin on her hand, giving Musa a pointed look. “So,” she said, dragging the word out, “how are things with Choso?”

Musa blushed, her fingers tracing the rim of her glass. “Good. Really good. He’s… sweet. When he’s not being a flirt, that is.”

Shoko smirked. “Sweet, huh? Didn’t think I’d hear that word about Choso.”

“He is,” Musa insisted, a small smile tugging at her lips. “He’s different with me. It’s… nice.”

Shoko raised an eyebrow, sipping her drink. “Different enough to make you forget that your brother would lose his mind if he found out?”

Musa groaned, leaning back in her chair. “Don’t remind me. I already feel like I’m walking on eggshells.”

“That’s kind of my point,” Shoko said, her tone more serious now. “How long are you planning to keep this a secret, Musa? You know you can’t hide it forever.”

“I don’t know,” Musa admitted, her voice soft. “I just… I’m not ready to tell him yet. Suguru’s so protective, and Choso… well, you know how Suguru sees him.”

“As a walking red flag,” Shoko said bluntly, though her eyes softened. “But you don’t, do you?”

“No,” Musa said firmly. “He’s not like that. Not with me. I just… I need more time to figure out how to tell Suguru without him losing it.”

Shoko leaned back, her gaze thoughtful. “You’re going to have to tell him eventually, you know. He’s going to find out one way or another, and it’s better if it comes from you.”

Musa nodded, her fingers twisting together. “I know. I just—what if he doesn’t understand? What if he never forgives me or Choso?”

Shoko reached across the table, placing a comforting hand over Musa’s. “He’s your brother, Musa. And he loves you. He might not like it, but he’ll get over it. Eventually.”

Musa let out a shaky breath, her shoulders relaxing slightly. “Thanks, Shoko. For everything. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Please,” Shoko said with a smirk, finishing her drink. “Just promise me one thing.”

“What?” Musa asked.

“Invite me to the family dinner when you drop the bombshell,” Shoko said, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “I want front-row seats for the chaos.”

Musa burst out laughing, shaking her head. “You’re horrible.”

“And you love me for it,” Shoko teased, raising her glass in a mock toast.

As they clinked glasses again, the tension in Musa’s chest eased. She wasn’t ready to tell Suguru yet, but having Shoko by her side made it feel a little less daunting.

--------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Choso, Suguru, and Satoru were sprawled out in Satoru’s massive living room, pizza boxes and beer bottles scattered across the table. The TV was on, but none of them were paying attention.

“Man, it’s good to just chill,” Satoru said, leaning back and stretching. “No drama, no girls nagging us. Just the boys.”

“Speak for yourself,” Suguru muttered, grabbing another slice of pizza. “Shoko’s probably roping Musa into some wild plan as we speak.”

Choso smirked but stayed quiet, sipping his drink.

Satoru narrowed his eyes at Choso, a sly grin spreading across his face. “Speaking of, what’s up with you lately? You’ve been grinning like an idiot for weeks. What gives?”

“Yeah,” Suguru chimed in, his tone suspicious. “You’ve been awfully chipper. Got yourself a new plaything or something?”

Choso nearly choked on his drink, coughing as he tried to play it cool. “What? No. Nothing like that.”

“Don’t lie,” Satoru said, leaning forward with a mischievous glint in his eye. “You’re a bigger flirt than me, and that’s saying something. So who is she?”

“There’s no one,” Choso said quickly, though the slight pink in his cheeks betrayed him.

Suguru raised an eyebrow, his gaze sharp. “You’re hiding something.”

“I’m not hiding anything,” Choso insisted, avoiding their eyes.

“Come on,” Satoru prodded, nudging Choso’s shoulder. “Who’s the lucky girl? Or is it girls, plural? You’ve got that player vibe going on.”

Choso groaned, running a hand through his hair. “You guys are ridiculous.”

“Which means we’re right,” Satoru said with a laugh. “Who is she, Choso? Spill.”

Choso hesitated, his mind racing. He couldn’t let them know it was Musa—not now, not ever. “It’s no one,” he finally said, forcing a smirk. “Maybe I’ve just been in a good mood lately. Is that a crime?”

Satoru and Suguru exchanged a look, clearly unconvinced.

“Fine,” Satoru said, leaning back with a dramatic sigh. “Keep your secrets. For now.”

“Yeah,” Suguru added, his tone warning. “But if I find out you’ve been messing with someone you shouldn’t be…”

“Relax,” Choso said, holding up his hands. “I’m not stupid.”

“Debatable,” Satoru muttered, earning a laugh from Suguru.

The two boys are unaware of how Satoru knows everything already. He doesn't dare to tell, it's all on Musa to do so.

As the night went on, Choso managed to steer the conversation away from himself, but he couldn’t shake the tension in his chest. He’d have to be more careful—especially around Suguru

[axkirak]

Down The Road (F1 x Reader) SMAU Season 1

>> Down The Road 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

➡  Previous Part : Next Part

Taglist: @raizelchrysanderoctavius , @laura-naruto-fan1998 , @jpg3 , @tsukishimawhore , @minkyungseokie , @roseseraj , @bbhyuneee , @omgsuperstarg (If you want to be added in this fic, just tell me in reply )

A/N : I'm trying to write in time for the #QatarGP because I want the storyline in Part 2 to continue in real-time (spoiler alert: from Episode 3 onwards, there will be a one-year time skip). I hope you enjoy the racing and the fic too. If you do, don't forget to like and reblog. It's great encouragement for me, who has been sitting with a sore back at the computer for hours to write this SMAU fic

note ; age-gap, a bit of mentor/student relationship

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Season 1 : ── 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐞𝐠𝐬 ── (Lewis Hamilton x Reader) S1 : E02 𝐾-𝑝𝑜𝑝 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟

Beyond the thrilling competition on the F1 track, the off-track relationships of F1 drivers have also become an exciting topic for fans. That's precisely what's happening with Y/N, a rising star in motorsport, whose relationship with Lewis Hamilton, a seven-time World Champion, is being closely watched. Is it real, or is it just a theory from fans? It's a tough question to answer definitively, as only they can shed light on the situation.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Source : GQ Sports (On YouTube)

On this episode of "Actually Me" Formula 1 driver Y/N goes undercover on the internet and responds to real comments from fans on Twitter, Instagram, Wikipedia, Reddit, YouTube, and TikTok. How does it feel to be the only woman racing in Formula 1 today? How does she handle the pressure of competing in a male-dominated sport? Which driver is she closest to? And the most pressing question everyone wants to know : What is the true nature of her relationship with Lewis Hamilton? Are they friends, colleagues, competitors, or something more?

For this final question, she simply laughs and replies cryptically, “You guys should ask him (rather than asking me), because I’m curious too.”

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Source : Formula 1: Drive to Survive (On Netflix)

In the show “Formula 1: Drive to Survive” Lewis Hamilton finally opens up about his relationship with Y/N for the first time after it became a hot topic on Twitter world recently. Hamilton said “It’s hard to explain, but we have a very special bond because we’ve known each other for a long time,” He further defined her as the ‘special one’ in his life, yet he still remained enigmatic regarding whether their relationship contains romantic aspect or not.

Additionally, he delves into their personal closeness, mentioning that Y/N is very much a Gen Z personified, enjoying Twitter and often sending funny memes to everyone. He humorously reveals that she sometimes replies to him "OK Boomer," when he doesn't quite grasp the memes she sends.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Source : Lewis Hamilton's Instagram Story (update)

Lewis Hamilton posted a picture of himself wearing friendship bracelets and tagging @Y/N on Instagram Story before deleting it 11 minutes after

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Source : Twitter (update)

Rumors about a romantic relationship between Y/N and Lewis Hamilton started circulating after a Twitter exchange between the two, leading fans to speculate and gather evidence suggesting they might be dating.

This wave of speculation has received both positive and negative reactions from fans. Some fans disagree with the dating rumors, while others support them. drawing parallels to the F1 version of Tom Holland and Zendaya

While the rumors have been hot topics among F1 fans on Twitter, there has been no confirmation from either Y/N or Hamilton.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Source : Y/N’s instagram (update)

"Get in, loser We're going to do hotlap"

Y/N posted on Instagram that she will be doing a hot lap for the team's VIP guest in #QatarGP There's speculation that the guest might be a fellow racing driver like Alex, Albon, or George Russell, especially after she previously did a hot lap with Russell without any sign of Lewis Hamilton

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Source : Lewis Hamilton's instagram (update)

"Ready to go with the winner @Y/N"

Lewis Hamilton posted on Instagram, confirming that he is the VIP guest who will get a hot lap with Y/N. Followed by a massive response from fellow F1 drivers and fans who are closely watching their relationship.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Source : Y/N and Lewis Hamilton's instagram (update)

Y/N and Lewis Hamilton have arrived at the Lusail International Circuit to prepare for the #QatarGP race tonight. The media has been informed by their respective teams that there will be no interviews or comments regarding the rumors about them. They will solely focus on their performance in this race.

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Source : @PopBase

Reportedly the famous spanish singer Úrsula attended the Formula 1 race at #QatarGP amidst fresh rumors among fans that she might be rekindling her relationship with Y/N. This comes after her recent divorce from the Hollywood actor last month.

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𝙏𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙪𝙚𝙙 (in the next chapter)

If you like it, don't forget to like and reblog for me.

Cr.https://x.com/PopBase/status/1708629114025116047?s=20https://twitter.com/GridRivalhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b025AznQiGk&ab_channel=GQSportshttps://www.instagram.com/p/CyBimW-Ocyr/

[darkbluekies]

Silas asks #5

Previous one next one

Concept: I've put multiple asks into one post to avoid too much loose posts on my account! This way, you have more to read too<3

Warnings: mafia, yandere, isolation ... the normal stuff

In Intruder, would Silas still have been able to find the reader if she didn't look to see what was on the USB? (Perhaps she didn't know she had a foreign USB in her purse in the first place) You mentioned Silas could see her on the webcam, but I assumed that was because she used the USB on the computer. Also, if she didn't see the USB would Silas have taken it back without question or would he have still kidnapped the reader? Sorry for all the questions, I'm just curious hehe 😅

Hm, interesting question. I think that Silas would be able to find the USB one way or another, either through a tracker on it or hacking into surveillance cameras to follow her. He would most likely not be too interested in getting her, but would think of her when he leaves ... which means that he'll be back for her.

There's this meme on tiktok that goes "my blickyyyyyy upon the dresseeeerrrrr" it remind me so much of Silas who definitely is the type of dude with a gun in his dresser 🔫 🔫

I haven't seen that meme, but Silas would 100% keep a gun in his dresser! For uh "safety reasons". Not to keep you in the room no no

Do you think the reader would ever develop Stockholm syndrome with Silas?

I actually think so. He treats you well when you're obedient so if you don't try to escape and actually listen to what he says, he will be the most wonderful man you can ever get your hands on. And that's dangerous for your mental health because anyone would fall for that.

With that Broken reader x Silas fanfic Does the reader have a caretaker that had been helping them?

[fanfic?]

Oneshot it's basef off of (i think)

No, Silas doesn't want anyone to be close to you, escpecially not after what you've been trough. He's scared that you'll fall for someone else in your fragile state. He needs you to be reliant on him only. You're vulnerable, perfect for him to mold how he wants you to be.

LOVING SILAS SM MWAH MWAH MWAH LEMME KITH YOU omg but like.. 😳 what if he grows to lowkey miss gen z reader's remarks and jokes in the long run😶. like ok yeah big man got what he wanted😮‍💨🫥 but now reader doesnt laugh or smile anymore cause theyre lowkey highkey traumatized😁💧 ykwim????

[omg thank you for the kith hehe]

Then he'll try to bring it back! Silas thinks that you're a toy that he can break and bend to be how he wants you to be. Somehow you'll be back to normal, he just needs to figure out how. He'll regret breaking you down so badly and will do his best to crack your numb shell.

"I like it when you smile. Come on, baby, curse at me. You know you like that. Tell a joke, I'll laugh, I promise. No, you won't get punished, little thing."

The Valentine's day ask for Silas got me thinking, what if his s/of wanted to get job? (cause I can't just do nothing all day) And since I'm sure he wouldn't let us go somewhere, what if we asked for him to hire us? (Cause if he wouldn't we can start looking for a online job or a job where we could leave and come back without getting caught) We can basically do some clean up or just paperwork 🤔. Also sorry if my English is bad

He'd hate the thought of you working because he thinks that you should be doing things you liked, but if you really had to, he'd keep you in his office, right by his side, where you can go through some papers. Of course not the ones that could make you scared. If there are no papers for you to go through, he'll print fake ones, just so you'll have something to do. As long as he'd keep you occupied, you'd not complain about being bored or wanting to leave.

"Ah, how about a break? We should take a nap on the couch. We've been working so well, don't you think, little thing? Come here, baby, let me hold you."

Silas be like "I'm gonna torture you badly" I be like "I like that"🥴Chain me up in the basement for punishment? "oooh kinky"Psychological torture? "Hey how'd you know I like mind games?"Threaten friends and family? *Looks around sarcastically "where are they? I don't see them!" 🙃In conclusion, I identify as a chaotic neutral that cannot be contained. Go ahead, do your worst! It'll be fun~ >:3

You'd be Silas's nightmare.

Ok that was weird how would Silas react to a mc who was in awe about how rich he was and shocked when they arrive at his mansion?

[what was weird ...?]

He'd be shocked. He's been in defense mode to give you a fright, to scare you into obedience ... but you're not scared?

"If I live here? Uh yeah, i do ... what about it? You like it? Yeah, I guess it's nice. Do you really like it that much?"

Hello 👁🫦👁. I love all your stories and I'm trying to figure out how best to behave with Silas so that he doesn't lock me in the basement, but also doesn't break my mind or bones😭p.s. i love the yandere characters but even chatting with AI yanderes gives me bad endings

As long as you do as he says, (you stay in your room, doesn't complain too much, doesn't nag and demand him to be let out) he'll be pleased with you. He'll take you out for dinner and dates and be more patient with you. The more you demand of him, the less likely you'll get it and the quicker you'll end up in the basement. He wants to be treated as a human being, depsite all the bad things he's done to you :)

[aftgficrec]

ah I'm so excited you're open!!! thank you for the ridiculous amount of work you all do 🙏ok, this might be too specific but any fics with an alternate take on Andrew and Neil's post-trk reunion? Andrew gets out of easthaven early, Neil leaves the Nest later, AU's, etc.? i think it's a really interesting point in their dynamic, and I'm a sucker for sober Andrew realizing someone was watching his back for once

Feeling a bit like a Bernie Sanders’ meme – ‘I am once again asking myself why I spent so much time on an ask,’ 😅 but it's because this is such an iconic and beloved scene for our fandom. For a super fun ‘live’ first-time reader reaction to this high drama, check out ‘The King’s Men, Chapter 1 – Hello Foxhole, My Old Friend’ by @nickireadstfc here. -A

also see

Andrew's POV of throwing keys off roof here

‘Come and Save Me From It’ here (completed)

‘Learning To Feel (When You've Forgotten How)’ and the fandom meta posts here

‘pipedream’ here

‘reaching for the heights’ here

‘Lost boy’ and ‘[Un]broken’ here

‘I Know You From A Nightmare,’ ‘The Marks We Make,’ and ‘Draw Me Out, Mark Me In’ here

‘Marked’ and ‘Soulmates who can feel each other’s pain’ here

‘Of Stars and Stories’ here

‘What’s normal now?’ here

long previous recs with reunion mention

‘No More Fucks To Give’ here (updated)

‘The Sphynx and the Hare’ here (completed)

‘corvus, vulpes, lupus’ here

‘never fallen (from quite this high)’ here

‘Not a Pipe Dream’ here

‘everything and nothing begins with you’ here

Andrew gets sober, Neil stays at Evermore

‘Oh Raven,’ ‘Jailbird,’ and ‘Take to the Wing’ here

‘Scared to Live (But I'm Scared to Die)’ here 

 ‘Comeback’ here

you may also like

Christmas at Evermore here plus song rec ‘Far From Home (The Raven)’ here

Proust here plus ‘if you really love nothing’ here

Neil’s a hallucination here

Andreil meet in Easthaven here

‘just a slow body’ here

‘Will you be there when I come back?’ here

‘Here With You’ here (complete)

‘i'm here right now (just be here right now with me)’ here 

‘We're All Stories In The End’ here

‘Spirits In My Head’ here 

‘Fold me in your palms’ here

‘The Raven Prince’ here

‘Thanks, Matty’ here

‘Lullaby’ here

Random Rec - Andrew Minyard playlists round up here

Just a Pipe Dream by loveroulettes [Rated T, 2781 Words, Complete, AFTG Exchange Summer 2021, Locked]

Andrew thought coming off drugs will get rid of all side-effects, so why is Neil still here? AKA the scene where Neil picks up the cigarette from the ground and smokes it, but from Andrew’s POV

tw: implied/referenced abuse

reckless/i like it by Willow_bird [Rated M, 27259 Words, Complete, AFTG Mixtape Exchange 2022]

One thing didn’t seem to have changed since getting off the drugs. One thing almost seemed to have gotten worse. ”The next time someone comes for you, stand down and let me deal with it. Do you understand?” “If it means losing you, then no.” --- 5 times Andrew realized this something he had for Neil was, well, treacherous + 1 time he admitted (at least to himself) that he liked it

tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: kidnapping, tw: choking, tw: implied/referenced torture

In the rain by Lyndis [Rated G, 1147 Words, Complete, 2021]

Part 2 of Quick and Dirty, parts 3 and 15 here

Andrew is off his drugs for the first time in years. No one knows he is back from Easthaven and he just wants to see Neil.

Time Machine by Marquee [Rated G, 137 Words, Complete, 2023]

Part 4 of Aftg Poetry

Andrew wanting to kiss Neil on the roof, but he isn’t sure he should. But like a poem?? Yeah.

Tumblr Prompts by lipsstainedbloodred [Not Rated, Collection, 2018] 

Chapter 13: Page 12: What if Neil didn’t go with the monsters to pick up Andrew from Easthaven (Andreil) [T, 2434 Words] 

tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced sexual assault

his solace by orphan_account [Rated M, 2292 Words, Complete, 2016]

Andrew’s first thought of Neil Josten was ‘fake’. He was a boy who was clearly lying, clearly pretending to be something he wasn’t; or at least, something he didn’t want to be. Andrew’s next thought of Neil Josten was ‘dangerous’. He was too attractive for Andrew to ignore, whilst single-handedly being the biggest flight risk he’d ever met. Neil looked for exits everywhere he went, and Andrew hated him for it.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: violence

Silent Words by Jeni182 [Rated M, Collection, Complete, 2018]

Chapter 2: Colors [T] Andrew hates color. It’s part of the reason why he’s always in black. It’s just easier. The color doesn’t make his eyes hurt. He doesn’t have to think about shit matching. It deters people, a lot of times.

When You Were Young by SpookyMiscreant [Rated T, 1831 Words, Complete, 2017]

It starts when the monsters pick up Andrew from Easthaven. Andrew sits on the roof of Fox Tower and contemplates Neil Josten now that he's sober. Set to the background music of When You Were Young by The Killers.

tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied referenced child abuse and neglect

this hole you put in me (wasn't deep enough) by gaygoyle [Rated T, 3368 Words, Complete, 2023]

Neil blames himself for not doing more for Andrew while he's at Easthaven. So, Neil returns the one thing he knows even with his ban- Exy.

tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

Shades of Sunset by darkbluebox [Rated T, 1885 Words, Complete, 2020]

Andrew is five years old, and he thinks orange is the most beautiful colour in the world. Twenty years in the life of Andrew Minyard.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced csa

Tell Me How You Hate Me by Killingmeslowly_24 [Rated T, 30532 Words, Incomplete, Updated June 2023]

Next to Kevin sat a man who was roughly Neil-shaped, but that was where the similarities ended. Because Neil was brown hair, wide eyes, and a skittish demeanor. Neil was hidden smiles and questions and questions, so many goddamn questions, and- No. This wasn’t Neil. This man was a collage of bandages and bruises, hair bathed in flame. This man was a slack jaw and blue eyes, blue like ice, like an ocean, like drowning, too much like freedom for Andrew’s comfort. ... Or, The King's Men from Andrew's POV

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: violence, tw: dissociation, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: depression, tw: blood, tw: panic attacks

Bury it deep down, keep it under your skin by All_for_the_andreil [Rated T, 2123 Words, Complete, 2023]

He only wants to jump off the roof half the time. He supposes that’s progress too. The other half he’s only thinking about it in theory. How many bones would he break? Would he die on impact, like his mother did, or would it take some time? Would he feel the pain, or would it be just pure shock? Would he laugh as he fell? -or- Andrew's life told in snippets

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: canonical character death

Promptober 2023 by djinthehouse [Rated T, Collection, Updated Oct 2023]

Chapter 2: Falling into his reverse based on the song, The drug in me is you, by Falling in reverse

tw: referenced drug overdose, tw: canonical character death, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: psychological abuse, tw: gun violence, tw: murder

Chapter 4: Weak for the Boy This is based of the song, Weak by AJR it is kind of the opposite of Falling into his Reverse. 

tw: referenced nonconsensual drug use, tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: blood, tw: psychological abuse

drop the game by Joana789 [Rated T, 1647 Words, Complete, 2017]

Then, the pills are gone. The buzzing in his veins is gone. The too-bright colors of the world are gone, everything back to its overwhelming dullness again. Neil Josten is, startlingly, still there.

tw: implied/referenced torture

but i’ll know, i’ll know by neilpipedreamjosten10 [Rated T, 2709 Words, Incomplete, Updated Nov 2023]

After Andrew comes back from Easthaven, Neil is missing, and Andrew is the only one who remembers who he is. But Neil never left Edgar Allen. *** This takes place during TKM, a what-if? fic where Andrew returns and finds that Neil was like a figment of his imagination, but now he has to save the runaway.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: referenced overdose, tw: referenced suicide, tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: torture

Lost (I Don’t Want To Be) by Demiwitchwoodwalker [Rated T, 4564 Words, Complete, 2022]

Part 2 of Someone(s) To Stay 

Kevin didn't respond, couldn't, and he suspected Riko knew that as his next words oozed with some sort of satisfaction. "I thought I'd give you a bit of a heads up, as a… let's say Christmas present. Your precious Nathaniel's getting inked. It's a shame Jean already got three, it would've suited the little Wesninski."

tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: panic attacks

NB: kandrew/developing kandreil

meta

*tw: may include references to Andrew’s canon trauma and suicidal thoughts

Andrew's time at Easthaven meta by series author @korakos [Tumblr, 2015]

Neil didn’t make Andrew want to live. He gave Andrew a reason to give into that want. meta by @haletostilinski [Tumblr, 2016]

The Extraordinary Strength of Andrew Minyard meta by @imaginedmelody [Tumblr, 2016]

the drugs went away and neil was still the same meta by @miniyrds [Tumblr 2016]

after they pick Andrew up at Easthaven meta by @evil-diabolical-oops [Tumblr, 2016]

andrew hates neil meta by @kickfoxing [Tumblr, 2017]

can you imagine Andrew coming back from reliving weeks of abuse… meta by @boris-pavlikcvsky [Tumblr 2017]

Midnight Thoughts about Andreil meta by @saltierthanbottomofapretzelbag [Tumblr, 2018]

Was "If it means losing you, then no" the final nail in the coffin? meta by @blogaboutyafavbirdboys [Tumblr, 2019]

meta about andrew and caring and wanting things by @sinistercacophony [Tumblr, 2020]

thoughts/feelings/deeper meaning of the (rooftop keys/cigarette) scene? meta by @bloody-wonder [Tumblr, 2020]

andrew thinking that neil was just a side-effect of the drugs meta by @twirlingflurry, @buriedinbaltimore [Tumblr 2021]

how utterly, heartbreakingly sad it is that Andrew calls Neil a pipe dream meta by @fortheloveofexy [Tumblr, 2022]

“You were supposed to be a side-effect of the drugs” meta by @sepulchralblues [Tumblr, 2023]

he cannot be real, he has to be a hallucination meta by @neveranniething [Tumblr, 2023]

neil just gives andrew his bands and knives meta by @grooviestguru [Tumblr, 2023]

you may also like

in the dream I don't tell anyone (you put your head in my lap) by Fortheloveofexy [Rated T, 1850 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

The real Neil would never allow this, would not let himself be this vulnerable. The real Neil can barely stand to be around him. Andrew knows this. But Dream Neil? Dream Neil is a different story.

Will you be there when I come back? by Shamman [Not Rated, 299 Words, Complete, 2017]

Andrew is trapped in Easthaven with an eidetic memory and tries to focus his thoughts on the confusing image of Neil Josten's face. -Because however terrible it may look, Andrew's current circumstances are much less pleasant. Furthermore Bee has been making him sing and play the guitar in a very therapeutic attempt to make him express some sort of actual emotion over the past year.

tw: violent imagery

You Gave Me A Key And Called It Home by glintchi [Rated T, Collection, Complete, 2019]

Chapter 19: Yes, I Admit It, You Were Right [460 Words] Renee was waiting for him in the basement, fingers already taped, hair pulled back into a tuft of a rainbow ponytail.

Foxhole Tidbits by SpangleBangle [Collection Rated T/M, Updated  2018] 

Chapter 14: My Friend, O My Friend [M, 953 Words]  Prompt for Renee's reaction after Drake/Easthaven and Andrew's return.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: canonical character death

Did You Miss Me? by Deathandcommas [Rated G, 555 Words, Complete, 2023, Locked]

Aaron and Andrew have a late night chat after Andrew gets back from Easthaven.

tfw spoons by StrawBerryRains [Rated G, 216 Words, Complete, 2021]

Nicky offers Andrew ice cream when they arrive home from Easthaven.

A Taste of Your Own Medicine by caffeine_withdrawl [Rated M, 66454 Words, Incomplete, Updated March 2023]

Set after the infamous Thanksgiving, but then diverges from canon. Andrew and Bee decide it’s time for Andrew to come off the drugs, but works some magic so that he is allowed to do it in Columbia. Neil is tasked with helping him through it. They decide to do it the same way Andrew helped Aaron sober up, by locking him in a bathroom. Andrew doesn't react well, and switches between rage and panic. Andrew wonders if Neil is real or if he made him up because of the drugs.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: body horror, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: flashbacks, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: drug addiction, tw: withdrawal, tw: vomit, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: ptsd, tw: emotional abuse, tw: hallucinations

making it harder to breathe by Azure_Allumiia [Rated T, 1643 Words, Complete, 2021]

Christmas Break with the Foxes, featuring Andrew at Easthaven and Neil in Evermore. Foxes celebrate New Years in NYC with the ball drop.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: rape/noncon, tw: medical abuse, tw: torture, tw: blood

Dead Birds by Noah98 [Rated G, 1601 Words, Complete, 2021, Locked]

Neil just got back from Evermore and Andrew has returned from Easthaven. Riko calls. He wants a rematch and oh boy does he get it.

tw: violence, tw: blood/gore

Art

NB: just a sampling of art for this scene

“Feel Again” original song by @whatbutandreil [Tumblr, 2020]

Picking up Andrew from Easthaven part 1, part 2 comic by @coldcigarettes

andreil keys off the roof scene: animation by @hahanken | comic by @rainbowd00dles | comic by @lunapiq | art by @esklinray

I hate you comic by @thematicallycoherent

I’m not a hallucination art by @clumsyartish

Stick around long enough to figure it out for yourself. edit by @m1nyards

You are a pipe dream art by @viennemort

“you spend all this time watching our backs” edit by @matthcwboyd

not a hallucination a pipe dream art by @kryptidfox

“you were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs.” art by @planetmontressor

"Go inside and leave me alone." art by @dimsunstuff

“No, you’re a pipe dream.” art by @starkingdraws

[andydona-chan]

Soulmates, AU!

The one where you get the words the person first tells you written on your skin on your birthday. The twist, it only lasts until you find that person so it can vary between a few hours and several months or years.

There's literally many selfies every day on the internet, with people displaying their soulmark in various degrees of concealment, just to keep record. From one word stamped on their forearm to long sentences or paragraphs.

It's what is keeping Katsuki in his room on his f*cking birthday. He refuses to leave the room. He has already spoken with Aizawa and sent messages to his friends so they could stay away from him, at least until it got solved, which he expected to happen in the next few hours of the day

He knows his case is probably a rare one, but he will not become a viral meme, nor will he allow anyone to make fun of him. He even called his parents to get the congratulations over with as soon as possible and made clear he wasn't going to dinner due to his current problem, though he mentioned that if it was solved quickly he might consider it.

Thank god he had bathed the previous night or he could have spent all day in the bathroom instead if he had gone straight there as he usually did, scrubbing at his skin trying to remove the words and knowing there was only one person who could rid him of this misery.

Because as soon as he woke up that morning, aware of what was supposed to happen, he knew he was in trouble. With bleary eyes still heavy with sleep, he noticed words on his left arm, but when he used his right hand to trace them, he noticed that one too was covered in words. Suddenly, he was very much awake. He saw the letters extending over both arms, and when he lifted his t-shirt, he saw them too.

He ran towards the mirror inside his closet and found his face also covered in scribbling, going down to his neck, and when he turned, it was also around his back!

Exasperated already, he slid his hands over his face, knowing exactly who would be connected to this. He tried to read the words using a smaller mirror that he usually had with him for multiple purposes and caught many interesting details about soulmarks and soulmates... well, at least it wasn't going to last for too long.

After learning that, he had purposefully not sent a message to Izuku, he knew the green haired boy was going to find an excuse to come find him as soon as he heard from this and would probably come and help him without being aware that he was the key to free him.

It didn't take that much time, considering it was lunch time by the time he heard knocking on his door. The worried voice of his longest acquaintance, past friend, turned rival, and apparently soulmate could be heard asking silly questions and sounding as if he wanted to spare him the embarrassment, how ironic.

He responded in short sentences and tried to act as his usual grumpy self, which was not too difficult, but he had to admit it was accompanied by a small level of fondness by now. So he cut it short and asked the other. What did he know about soulmates that could be helpful?

As expected, Izuku started to ramble, muttering away what he knew about the topic and going on tangents that made him shiver as if he could feel each word tingling on his skin as they were being spoken.

He had been able to read the last couple of words along with Izuku. They ended right above his navel so he could read them right and noticed how Izuku fell silent when he pronounced them. Sighing in defeat, he finally opened the door. The words were going to fade anyway once Izuku saw them, so better make it quick.

He was not expecting Izuku to snap a picture the moment he did, but it was okay. The look of surprise in his green eyes was worth the smirk on his face as he noticed the words dissolving on his skin like water, he rolled his eyes and signaling the other boy to enter his room, they needed to talk anyway.

[oddinary4bts]

The Forgotten Spaces | ch 6 (jjk)

☆summary: you've been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you?

☆pairing: photographer and dancer!Jungkook x dancer!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, there is mature content in previous/later chapters)

☆genre: slow (SLOW) burn enemies to lovers, college!au, slice of life!au, angst (oop), smut and fluff

☆warnings: mentions of sex/hot tub scene. hickey. angst (oops), might be a curse somewhere in there?

☆word count: 5.8k

☆series masterpost here

☆a/n: I am very sorry for all the angst that is to follow. Please don't hate me and please enjoy reading still haha! Thank you to @moonleeai for her beta reading on this fic, I won't ever thank you enough, you're the best <3

☆Read What Was Hidden here, the fic that inspired this whole story, written by @daechwitatamic, one of my fav human beings on this app <3 It follows the story of Jo and Taehyung before The Forgotten Spaces

☆☆☆☆☆

For this meeting of our end of the world

It's with you that I want to sing

On the threshold of the memories the dead of today

Them that breathe for us

The forgotten spaces

Je t'écris - Gaston Miron (rough translation by me)

☆☆☆☆☆

Sunday, July 8th

                Waking up next to Jungkook feels weird. You reckon it might be because you haven’t slept a lot, and people are already moving around the cottage. You’ve refused to open your eyes so far, just because you’ve heard Jiho and Hobi whispering about you and Jungkook and you feel too much of a coward to admit you probably fucked things up with him already.

You think Jiho has taken a picture. Knowing her, she definitely has, and you wish you could just disappear for a time. You eventually force yourself to get up though, before Jungkook who is still dead asleep when you move to the kitchen. You suffer through Jiho’s questioning, but she quickly notices that you’re shut off, lost in thought and maybe even dabbling in a little regret too.

From there she shuts down everyone that asks questions, and by the time Jungkook gets up, everyone is just pretending they haven’t noticed that something definitely happened between the two of you.

Jungkook doesn’t really look at you. He eats breakfast chatting with Taehyung and Jin, avoiding you like the plague. You can tell you’ve hurt him, but you don’t know how to fix it. After all, you’ve never really been acquainted with feelings yourself. Especially not after your parents’ divorce.

The day feels heavy. It’s still warm outside, far too much, and a veil of dark clouds is looming over the horizon by the time you have to leave the cottage. Your mood imitates the weather, and you find yourself brooding more than you usually do.

You haven’t been able to talk to Jungkook yet. Mostly because he’s been avoiding you, yes. But also because you don’t know what to tell him.

“Hey, I’m shit at relationships and feelings, yesterday felt too real” sounds like too much of a confession. Even though it is the truth, you’re a coward, through and through.

Jiho’s been trying to get your mind off things. Texting you random stupid things, sending you memes as Hobi drives the four of you home. Heather is riding with Chaeyeon, Lance and Bridget this time around, so there’s a space between you and Jungkook. This time, when he falls asleep, he falls asleep with his head resting against the window, and not on your shoulder.

It starts raining halfway home, and Hobi drives slower, windshield wiper going on full blast. Jiho sends you yet another meme – something absurd you can’t bring yourself to find funny. It earns you a frown from your best friend, and a second later your phone vibrates in your hand.

[1:23 pm] Jiho❣️: u’re supposed to laugh☹️ [1:23 pm] You: i want to talk to Jungkook but idk what to tell him🫠 [1:25 pm] Jiho❣️: what really happened yesterday? i wanna help but it’s hard if idk [1:26 pm] You: we made out in the hot tub then fucked when we were supposed to sleep🤡 [1:26 pm] Jiho❣️: bruh i wish i had a make-out session in the hot tub [1:27 pm] You: 🙄🙄 [1:27 pm] Jiho❣️: sorry [1:27 pm] Jiho❣️: pretty sure more than just fucking happened considering both of you are upset [1:30 pm] You: i told him we shouldn’t have fucked after and he got upset [1:31 pm] Jiho❣️: bitch he’s into u ofc he’ll be upset [1:31 pm] You: u’re not helping [1:32 pm] Jiho❣️: are u into him?

You don’t know the answer. You ask yourself that question for the rest of the day, and you reckon you really don’t know. A lot changed between you and Jungkook over the weekend, but it’s hard to ignore the fact you have never really liked him. Because he was a dick and a bully to you for years.

It’s not something you think you can just forget because you’ve had sex with him once. And you don’t even know if you’d be interested in a relationship with him anyway. You’ve never been in a relationship before at all, and the thought of it terrifies you.

The thought of Jungkook being upset with you terrifies you in equal measures, but you refuse to admit it to yourself. Maybe because you’re trying to protect yourself. It’s hard to tell. You feel like you won’t be able to go through your feelings by yourself – they’re overwhelming, all of them.

Thinking about Jungkook is overwhelming. Thinking about dancing under the stars, about his scar, about the way he held onto you after he finished. Everything is overwhelming, and it makes you anxious. Jumpy, even, as you’re sitting in your room in your mother’s empty house later at night.

You’re halfway through a Studio Ghibli movie that was supposed to help you relax when you decide to text your therapist to schedule an appointment this week. It feels like the right thing to do – you know Mary has always been able to help you sort through your thoughts, even though you haven’t seen her in months.

You don’t expect her to reply tonight considering it’s late in the evening, but you linger on your messaging app. You can’t resist but scroll down a little, down to where Jungkook’s name lies on the screen. You click on the conversation, rereading the last messages he sent you from when he was drunk a little over a week ago. It makes your heart squeeze in your chest a little, and you scroll all the way up to the first time he texted you in April. You haven’t talked much at all, so it’s not like there’s a lot, but you can’t help yourself. You reread everything, entirely ignoring the movie playing on your laptop.

When you’re done reading, you find yourself typing a text even though you don’t know what to say. It seems your fingers know, because a moment later you find yourself staring at a fully formed sentence. It looks as if it’s taunting you, and you reread it so many times the words start to lose their meaning.

[9:47 pm] You: hey, i really enjoyed the weekend with u and i’m genuinely really sorry about yesterday…

It takes you all the courage your body can conjure up to press send. You immediately turn off your phone to focus on your laptop and on the movie, though it doesn’t really work at all. The anxiety the message has brought up in you makes the story of Totoro way too hard to follow, and you’re merely watching the scenes, barely even blinking.

When the movie ends, you get ready for bed. You haven’t dared check your phone yet, but a little bit of anticipation has been steadily building inside of you. Because you hope he’ll answer. You hope you won’t have to explain why you are the way that you are for things to go back to normal with him. Maybe because offering him your vulnerability feels like too much of a commitment for someone that doesn’t do commitments at all.

You know you’ll hate yourself at your internship the next day, but you can’t really sleep after you’ve settled under the comforter in your bed. It’s way past midnight when you finally gather the courage to look at your phone, teeth worrying at your bottom lip.

Your empty notification screen stares back at you, as if to say ‘you really thought that would change anything?’

You sigh, putting your phone away on your night table before turning on your side, grabbing a pillow to hold. It’s still raining outside, and your brain focuses on the splattering of rain on the panes of the window. You think maybe Jungkook went to bed early, considering you didn’t get a lot of sleep in the last two days. Maybe he’s asleep and will reply tomorrow…

You cling onto that hope as the sound of the rain finally lulls you to a troubled sleep.

Tuesday, July 10th

                Jungkook has been in a shit mood. He knows why, and it’s strange to think that it’s not his leg for once. What makes it worse is that everyone around him knows too, thanks to the hickey on his neck.

And it’s only worse when you don’t show up to dance practice. Jiho mentions something about you being stuck at your internship, but Jungkook doesn’t ask. He feels like maybe he could text you to make sure you’re okay. His heart wants him to do it, but his mind is stronger.

And his mind has been winning the war against his heart so far. He won’t cave in now. But he’s still in a shit mood when he gets home after practice. It feels even worse when he sees Taehyung and Jo cuddled up on the couch, and Jimin sprawled up on the floor.

Jimin’s texting away on his phone, and Taehyung meets Jungkook’s gaze where he stopped by the door.

“Practice is already done?” Taehyung asks.

It brings Jimin and Jo’s attention to Jungkook. He just stands there for a time, not knowing what to say.

Not wanting to admit he wrapped dance practice earlier because he was pissed that you weren’t there.

“Yeah,” Jungkook lets out flatly. He finally starts moving again, aiming straight to the kitchen.

He misses the way Jo and Taehyung exchange a concerned look when he passes in front of them, or maybe he just ignores it. He’s been ignoring Jo since the weekend, because it feels like too much pressure to admit that her plan worked and failed in the same night.

Yes, he got to sleep with you, but he’d take it back if he could. Just so it wouldn’t lead to where you’re standing now. Because he’s never replied to your text on Sunday night. Maybe because it was too early, and seeing it just pissed him off more.

Or maybe he’s just trying to preserve himself because he’s realized being with you might be a lot more complicated than previously thought.

He’s pouring cereal in a bowl when he receives a text. He fears that he’s conjured you up for a few seconds, but then he reads the name at the head of the notification. Laura. He furrows his brows, reading her text a few times over to make sure he’s read well. On his fifth reading he reckons the words won’t change even if he keeps glaring at them.

And Laura doesn’t deserve him being upset with her too. Actually, he realizes she might be just what he needs – a distraction, perhaps. Because all he wants is to forget how it felt to be with you last Saturday. And it’s not even about the sex. No, the part that’s been sticking with him is the moment between the hot tub and the sex. When he laid his heart on the table for you.

Had he known you were going to step on it a little under an hour later, Jungkook knows he would have never asked you to dance. It was a stupid request, one that made everything too real.

He can’t really blame you for getting scared. Because he knows that’s what it is. You got scared when he told you you should have slept together before, and he’s been embarrassed since then. Because he said the words in the heat of the action, and even though he meant them – means them – he’d rather not have told you.

Because now when he thinks of you he’s embarrassed, upset, and of course he’s pissed. He’s been in a shit mood after all.

He sighs, pushing his hair back before moving to the fridge to grab the milk. He pours some in the bowl, before grabbing a spoon in the drawer and making his way to the table, where he sits to eat the cereals. He’s halfway through his bowl when he finally decides to open his phone and reply to Laura.

[9:01 pm] Laura: Hey, I gotta admit… I’d like to see you sometime this week? If you’re up for it ofc [9:08 pm] Jungkook: yes ofc! i’m free tmrw evening if u want😌

He doesn’t even know if he actually wants to see her. It makes him think of when he helped her with her camera last week. Laura is sweet. Cute and shy. She’s his type, he can’t deny it. But she’s nice, and he doesn’t think she deserves him using her as a distraction.

He reckons he’s a mess. You’ve been messing with his head far too much, and he doesn’t like that you have that power over him. He doesn’t want anyone to have that power over him.

Yet it’s relieving that for once his mind isn’t clouded with dark thoughts related to the accident. Because he can’t really think about the accident when you’re there whenever he closes his eyes. When he can almost feel your warmth lingering under his fingers, along his body. When he thinks he can still smell your shampoo, and feel your soft skin.

The way that he feels disgusts him. It makes him scoff, and he’s frowning as he finishes eating his cereals. The frown only relaxes when Laura texts him again.

[9:12 pm] Laura: I’m available too! There’s a restaurant I’ve been wanting to try? Is that something you’d like to do?

The way that she texts sounds formal. It makes him laugh, and he finds himself replying,

[9:13 pm] Jungkook: wait, so then it’s a date date uh? [9:16 pm] Laura: Maybe?☺️ [9:17 pm] Jungkook: is 7 o’clock good for u?

He doesn’t really know what he’s doing. He doesn’t usually do real dates, preferring hanging out at the girl’s place or inviting her over for one of the many parties they usually host. But he needs the distraction, right?

And when he’s texting Laura, he realizes he’s not thinking about you as much. It’s relieving after the last few days, and really, maybe he should just give her a chance.

Wednesday, July 11th

                Your therapist works in a building that’s surprisingly not too far from your internship. You were able to schedule an appointment for tonight, which is a relief.

You’ve been thinking about this weekend so much you haven’t been able to focus at the internship. So much so that you were stuck at the office later yesterday. You didn’t mind having to skip the dance practice though – you were glad you didn’t have to see Jungkook.

But now, it’s time for you to sort out your thoughts about the whole situation. As much as pretending that everything is fine can be fun, you also hate the way your mind wanders every night. Especially considering Jungkook never replied to your text last Sunday.

You feel like he’s slipping through your fingers. And maybe he is, and maybe all of this will be for nothing.

Well, not necessarily nothing, since it’s always good to get a grip of yourself.

You sigh, and you walk into the building right before a rain shower starts. You’re relieved you were able to avoid getting wet, and you walk to the front desk to give your name to the lady. She puts you in the computer and then tells you to sit in the waiting room. You thank her, and you’ve barely had time to sit when Mary comes to get you.

Mary’s office hasn’t changed one bit since the last time you sought her help in February. You sit on the same couch, and she offers you a glass of water as she greets you. And then she asks what brings you there.

At that you still. You freeze, like a deer in headlights, because for a moment you’re terrified of having to say the words aloud. Terrified to admit you felt something last Saturday, and you think you’ve already screwed it all up. She listens to you intently, and you watch her scribble on her pad as you do so. You’re tempted to read what she’s written; you’ve always wondered what it is that therapists write on that notebook of theirs.

Is she piecing out your soul the way that you feel like she is?

You tell her everything. You tell her about how Jungkook came back into your life, differently this time. You tell her about the dance practices, and about your internship too. You tell her about last weekend, and you reveal every little dirty thought your brain dared to think. Mary doesn’t judge, and when you’re done, the only thing she says is, “You’re really good at psycho-analyzing yourself”.

You reckon she’s right. Because you know exactly why you acted the way that you did – with the example your parents gave you of love growing up, it’s hard to actually love. It’s even harder to deconstruct it, to deconstruct the fear until you can build yourself back into someone that can love.

It’s not that you think you can’t. You love Jiho, Jisung and their family plenty. But it’s different when it’s love with a big L. It’s always been, and you’ve never once really wanted to change it.

But now you do. You’ve been using your fears to protect yourself from others for far too long.

Mary makes a plan with you. Nothing too big, but she does suggest scheduling another appointment next week. Because you knowing what you need to do is half of the work, yes, but you still need to put it into practice. You agree with her, and you leave her office feeling lighter than you’ve felt in days.

The plan is for you to ask Jungkook if you can talk. You have the option to wait until tomorrow at dance practice, or to text him tonight, just so he knows in advance that you want to talk to him. Mary favoured the latter, saying that it’d give him time to prepare if he has things to tell you too.

You have no idea if he does, but the moment on Saturday felt heavy. You doubt there’s been nothing on his mind since then… because you were there. You know how it felt like, under the stars and after that. And the whole weekend, if you’re honest to yourself. You doubt he was immune to it.

You decide to wait a little before you text him. Just to make sure you really are going to do this. Because it feels like you’re standing at the top of a cliff, and you’ve never been a cliff diver. No, you’re far too afraid of heights. But the fact that you haven’t been able to get Jungkook off your mind tells you enough: you’d jump off the highest cliff for him.

Because if you don’t risk it, what is there to win?

So it’s later that night, when you’re rewatching your favourite anime, that you find yourself pausing the show. You go to your messaging app, and heart beating out of your chest you type a message. Something simple, something straight to the point. Because the fact he ignored your last message says enough: Jungkook won’t cave in for apologies, especially not over text.

You settle on,

[9:31 pm] You: hey jk! can we talk tmrw after practice?😌

You press send before you can convince yourself that this is not a good idea, and anxiety blooms in every inch of you. It’s a foreign feeling: you’ve never been so anxious when it came to someone else before in your life.

Watching your favourite anime after that has never been so hard.

Thursday, July 12th

                You don’t want to go to practice. Everything feels like it’s going too fast and too slow at the same time: waiting for Jungkook to reply is excruciatingly long, and having to head to the dance studio is coming far too quickly.

Jungkook hasn’t replied. You texted Mary about it – she said to see in person if Jungkook wants to talk, but to also respect it if he doesn’t. It makes you far less hopeful than you were when you got out of her office yesterday, but you know she is right.

If this is his way of setting a boundary, you will have to respect. No matter how much it upsets you.

So it’s in an anxious state of mind that you make your way to the studio. You run into Jiho on the way, and you’re worrying at your bottom lip when she asks, “What’s wrong?”

Your steps falter a little, and you throw her a side glance. “Uh?”

“What’s wrong with you?” she asks.

She knows that you used to see a therapist. But telling her that you saw Mary again about Jungkook feels like too big of a confession. It gives him too much power, and you’re not sure you’re ready for that. But you can tell some parts of the truth, can you?

“I’m going to try and talk to Jungkook tonight.”

Jiho remains suspiciously silent for a time. “Are you sure you want to talk to him?”

“I guess,” you say, shrugging your shoulders. “I just feel bad about this weekend.” Jiho offers you a sad smile, as your eyes fall to the concrete in front of you. “It’s just like, I don’t know, I liked where last weekend was going and I don’t want it to go back to the way things were before.” You pause, already feeling a little lighter now that you’ve started talking to your best friend. “Like I know I got scared and all, but he’s actually pretty decent?”

Now, Jiho’s smile has turned knowing, and she nudges you with her elbow. “I think I saw that coming from miles away but I didn’t want you to kill me.”

“Uh?” you let out, feeling a little confused.

“Everyone always thought you two were into each other,” she admits, and she laughs loudly when you push her. “Exactly why I didn’t want to tell you,” she says when her laughter subsides as you offer her a fake glare, lips jutting out in a small pout.

“I mean, I don’t even know if that’s where things are going,” you say. Your fear returns, and you’re back to nibbling on your lower lip. “Like, maybe I just fucked up too bad?”

“Did you talk since then?” Jiho asks.

You refuse to look at her when you reply. “No. He ignored my texts.”

From the corner of your eyes you see Jiho wince. Because she knows just as well as you what it probably means, and you don’t want to hear her say it.

“What did you tell him?”

You shrug your shoulders, trying to act as indifferent as possible. “Sunday I said that I was sorry, and I asked him if we could talk after dance practice yesterday.”

“And he said nothing?”

It’s rhetorical, so you remain silent. You’re reaching the bridge, and you know the conversation will soon come to an obligated end anyway.

“Babe…”  Jiho lets out carefully. “Maybe you shouldn’t talk to him.”

It makes you scoff. “I’ll be chill, don’t worry.”

“I’m not saying you won’t be,” Jiho says. She grabs your arm to make you stop. “Maybe he just doesn’t want to talk.”

You free your arm from her grip, though she was already letting you go. “I’ll ask. We’ll see. I just want to clear the air.”

Jiho holds your defiant gaze for a while, before nodding once. “Alright. Sounds good. You let me know what he says.” She pauses for a few seconds, before adding, “And we’re still on for Thirsty Thursdays after that.”

Of course you are, and of course you’ll tell her. She’s your best friend after all, and you don’t remember a time when you really hid anything from her.

It doesn’t stop your heart from aching in your chest as you near the studio.

*****

                Dance practice feels weird. You can’t help your eyes from diverting to Jungkook where he’s standing, next to the mirrors. He’s good at pretending he doesn’t feel your gaze on him, yet more than once you catch him already looking.

He looks good. He’s in paler clothes than his usual today – light blue jeans with an oversized white t-shirt – and his hair is ruffled by the way he keeps running his hands through it. He looks like he doesn’t care, almost. Because you can tell he’s anxious about something whenever you catch him pulling at his piercing, eyebrows slightly furrowed over his eyes.

You don’t know when you started being able to read him so well, but you surely can now.

He calls dance practice off earlier than his usual, and he still hasn’t really looked at you. You’re pretty sure everyone has noticed by now, especially considering the fact Jiho hasn’t really been subtle about it. She’s glaring at Jungkook most of the time, and he just shrugs his shoulders to her.

It’s weird. Something is off, but if you’re going to do this, you’ll do it, right?

It’s in that anxious state of mind that you approach him as everyone filters out. His hands are buried in his pockets and he’s leaning against the mirror. It’s like he’s waiting for you, and you figure maybe he did read your message after all.

The first few seconds of standing in front of him are far more awkward than anything you’ve ever experienced in your entire life. You don’t know what to say, don’t know where to start, and Jungkook’s head is hanging too low for you to be able to catch his gaze without invading his personal space. So you stay rooted in your spot, and you wait for him to look at you. It takes a while, but he eventually looks up.

You’re taken aback by the bitter annoyance his features hold. “What?”

You’ve written in your notes app what you wanted to say. You’ve even practiced it, but now you don’t remember a single word.

His eyes are sad. It’s the only thing that feels different on his features. The rest is all annoyed: his eyebrows are furrowed, the corners of his lips are pointing downwards. His shoulders are low, defeated, and he seems to realize it because he straightens and folds his arms on his chest.

“Uh,” you choke out against the anxiety that’s building up inside of you. “I just…”

“If you want to apologize again, I received your message last Sunday.”

You brush a strand of your hair behind your ear, before folding your arms on your chest too. “Why did you ignore me?”

He shrugs, shaking his head a little as he looks away. “I have nothing to tell you.”

“Jungkook, can you please not? We’re adults.”

“Yeah, and I’m choosing to not be talking with you. I’m sure you can respect that?”

You can. You definitely can. But at the same time you can’t. Not when he says it like that, like it’s some sort of an insult.

“Why are you overreacting like that?”

“Because I’m fucking embarrassed about last weekend!” he bursts. “I wish it never happened.”

It hurts. It stings and burns, and you hold your arms tighter against you. “You’re embarrassed? Is that why you said you wished we did it earlier?”

His gaze turns vicious, like he’s a viper waiting to strike. “See, that’s exactly why I do not want to talk to you. I don’t think we can be friends either. We’ve never been friends, like you oh so kindly reminded me, and that won’t change.”

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath to relax, because this is not where you want this conversation to be going. “Listen,” you say after a few seconds of silence, “I really don’t want to be fighting with you. I just want to clear the air.”

“The air is cleared,” he says as you open your eyes to meet his fiery gaze again. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to do.”

You’re struck then. You feel like you either have the choice to confess or to stick to your anger. And you try to confess, you really do. It’s not like with Jiho – Jungkook was part of the moment Saturday, he was there with you under the stars. So it shouldn’t be too hard to tell him, to say you got scared.

You open your mouth to say the words, and shut it immediately as he scoffs.

“See, I don’t even think we should be speaking at all,” he says. There’s a fraction of a second when you’re convinced you can read pain in his gaze before he continues, “I’m actually seeing Laura, and I don’t want to fuck that up.”

Every word you’ve ever known vanishes from your mind. You just stand there for a moment, mouth hanging open, ears ringing as you look at him. You feel like you’re falling, or maybe you’re getting crushed. It’s hard to tell. It’s equally as hard to breathe, and your lungs burn as oxygen fills them.

“What?”

“I went on a date with Laura and I actually like the girl, I don’t want to fuck things up by talking to you,” he says, slowly, as if he needs to hammer every word into your head.

Laura? The girl from his class?

“Isn’t that the girl you told me you don’t care about?”

Your voice is somehow flat. Empty of the emotions it held just a few seconds ago.

“I went on a date with her and I like her,” he repeats as if you’re stupid and didn’t understand the first time around. As if your heart is not breaking in your chest, infinitely so.

You didn’t know how big your heart is until this moment, when every beat just breaks a little more, and all you can think to do is hold yourself tighter. As if it’ll stop the breaking.

“When?”

“Why do you want to know?” he asks, and his eyes fall shut as he pinches the bridge of his nose. You really do feel stupid then, stupid and foolish and everything in between. Like you’re a five-years-old that keeps messing her right from her left.

“I… how the fuck did you go on a date with her already, it’s been four days?”

“A lot can change in four days, Y/n,” he drawls.

You think your nails might be digging in your palms from how hard you’re clenching your fists. “Wow.”

The studio falls silent. It’s heavy, and maybe the silence is what’s been crushing you. Because you were expecting it – the moment you and Jungkook wouldn’t have anything else to tell each other. Because for everything you were willing to confess, now there’s just an empty spot inside of you.

You hold his gaze. He doesn’t look all that infuriated anymore. Defeated, yes, and maybe a little deflated. He looks like he didn’t expect the conversation to go there.

But you were right. Turns out you were right and you are too late. You can’t help but hate him for it.

“You don’t waste your time, do you?” you ask, and you scoff bitterly. “You fuck one girl and then another in just a few days. Suits you well.”

He rolls his eyes. “As I said, I wish we didn’t sleep together. If I could take last weekend back I would.” He shrugs then, shaking his head a little. “I’m sure you understand.”

You purse your lips, trying to keep them from trembling as you feel a lump form in your throat. “I can’t believe you’re already fucking some other girl.”

“Okay, Y/n, as if that’s going to change anything.”

You nod, and you find yourself fleeing his gaze. Because you don’t want him to see how you’re breaking inside. How every piece of you turns inside out, until you’re bleeding out standing there in front of him.

“Just…”

You think about the stars. You think about the way he led you in that dance, the way his eyes shone as he looked at you.

Jungkook is cataclysmic. He really is. And cataclysms are rarely good, are they? They can create, yes, the way the universe was once created, but they destroy. They destroy and destroy until nothing remains, until you just feel like you’re drowning and burning all at once.

“Save your breath,” he says. You think his gaze is shining again, and you don’t think it’s shining for the same reason that it was under the stars. “And I mean that in the most respectful way.”

“Right. As if that would ever sound respectful.”

He rolls his eyes again. “Yeah, whatever. I’m done here.”

It occurs to you that you’re about to watch someone you care about walk out of your life again. You want to reach out and hold him, to tell him how you feel, to say how everything has started to hurt, but you can’t. You can just look at him, hold his gaze until he makes the decision to go.

He’s gone before you’ve truly assimilated just how bad everything went. Just how far south things went, and how fiercely everything burns. And you stand there for a long time, holding yourself, waiting for the heartbreak to stop. But the thing with heartbreak is that it never fully stops, does it? You just learn to deal with it better.

It’s weird. You never thought you could be cold and burning at the same time. But if this is hell, then hell has frozen over because you’re shivering, just holding yourself.

You feel like you’re sixteen again, like you watched your dad walk out of your life again. Maybe because Jungkook really was the cataclysm to you, and now you’re stuck with the aftermath.

But you don’t cry. No, you hold the tears in. Force them to dry without having rolled on your cheeks, convince them that you don’t care. It’s something you’re good at. Pretending. Because maybe you’ve been pretending you hate Jungkook for a lot longer than you thought. Maybe that’s the reason why it hurts so bad.

But you won’t cry, no. You won’t cry for Jeon Jungkook.

You get home later that night, after having walked through a daze for the whole evening. You’re drunk, and you’re still aching from the inside out. Your phone is in your hand, and you’ve been on Jungkook’s conversation for so long without blinking that your eyes have fully gone dry.

You watch the text you’ve just sent, the only proof that you ever cared about Jungkook.

[2:31 am] You: i reall y wish things ddn’t go so bad

It takes you three days to realize it never delivered.

Friday, July 20th

                It takes Jungkook a little under two weeks to officialise things with Laura. It’s moving quickly, he’s aware of it, but he’s been trying to ignore the way he saw your heart break in your eyes. It seems the best way to do it is to watch feelings swell in someone else’s gaze, and so he asks Laura to be his girlfriend after their third date.

She says yes, beaming like she’s the sun personified.

Still, when Jungkook closes his eyes at night, all he sees is your heart breaking in your eyes.

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yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh.. my bad. I really went far with this angst uh? What do we think? What's going to happen next?

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