#you can do better if you shop elsewhere lol!

[iisasarcasticlittleshite]

Heyy bbg 😩

How was ur dayyy, mine was ok i went shopping 😘

Whats ur favorite colorrr, i like blue 😝

How would the boyz react to breaking the bedframe during sum rough... activities 😉😏😩😳

Dont forgor to drink water and get atleast 6 hrs of sleep pls 🥺

Heyyy! I am so sorry this took me so long to start on, I went a little MIA there, lol. So of course my first post of 2024 is OM smut lol Happy 2024 everyone! Now, on to the hcs! Mature content below the cut. Warnings for Levi's section, implied monster f*ck*ng, very slight.

Lucifer

This bastard makes no secret of how proud he is to make a mess of MC.

His reaction depends on the position, if the bedframe cracks while he is on top, then he makes sure MC's safe before continuing elsewhere.

MC's barely had time to comprehend that the bedframe gave way underneath them before Lucifer is scooping them up and resuming their activities on his desk or against the wall.

"Lucifer, did we-?"

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it, my darling. Now, sing for me~"

But. If that bed breaks while MC's on top? That is a very different story.

"Look at you, taking me so well even the bed can't take it~"

"Go on, love, do it again."

Demon does not give a shit, clasps MC's thighs and holds them up while he thrusts up to meet their hips.

He may act mildly displeased at having to buy a new bed, but that aura of pure pride rolling off him the next day is fooling no one.

Mammon

Let's face it, he's so sex-drunk he probably didn't notice. He's too busy overstimming himself to the point of tears, pretty noises pouring from his kiss-bitten lips with shameless abandon.

He's the Avatar of Greed after all, and here is his greatest treasure, all naked and pretty for the taking, giving him everything he could ever want. Why in nine circles of hell would he stop?

He'll fuck until the mattress hits the ground, or until MC tells him to stop, because he always retains enough of himself to keep them safe.

Once they're done and laying on a skewed wreck of a bed, sweat colling on their skin, that's when Mammon finally notices.

"Hey...what happened to the bed?"

MC chuckled, pressing a kiss to his brow. "You happened, baby."

His cheeks turned pink and he hid his face in their neck as though he could hide the blush from them. MC felt him grinning against their skin, until the reality struck him.

"How the fuck am I gonna explain this to Lucifer?"

Leviathan

He also wouldn't notice, but not for the reason you might think.

Usually, Levi is a very sweet lover, tends toward the submissive side and lets MC set the pace.

However...

For their lovemaking to get to the point of breaking anything, it's because Levi has gone absolutely feral.

I'm talking more demon than anything else, growling and snarling instead of whimpered, sweet moans tumbling from his lips.

You'd better believe he'll break the bed, the only thing that will stop him is MC, and if they choose not to...

He'll break a lot more than the bed.

Satan

Believe it or not, I don't actually see this happening with Satan.

He's so cautious of his wrath around MC in the bedroom that I'm no so sure he'd even be comfortable playing rough.

The most that happens with him is toppling a pile of books or something. Once, he accidently knocked into a shelf and used himself as a meat shield for MC as the avalanche came down.

That made for an awkward evening when poor Beel come to the rescue.

Asmodeus

Let's face it, if he did it, it was on purpose.

Asmodeus knows exactly what he's doing when it comes to MC's pleasure, knows exactly how to make them writhe just so that it was actually the human who let magic slip in their daze and cracked the bedpost.

The Avatar of Lust chuckled against their sex, his head buried between their thighs and his eyes alight with pure sin. "What else can I make you break, lovie?"

"S-sorry..."

"Oh no sweetheart, don't apologise. Let me see how much more I can make you sing for me~"

[allykatsart]

a recent ask brings an interesting idea. If Peccy finds out about I.M.P.s services, would he hire them to hunt down his former master? An addid motive being to see if it gives him access to his original powers?

Who is Peccantum?

Honestly, I've had an idea about this before Hazbin Hotel came out. I've been obsessed with Helluva Boss before and so I've thought about this a lot lol. I don't have time to do a comic off this... So I wrote it instead!

Just a Quote

The sinner in front of Blitz was late.

It wasn't uncommon for that to happen but like... Come on! If you're going to make an appointment, you sure as fuck better be there. But this guy was late, fifteen minutes late, to be exact. He had apologized more than once, saying something about... The princess of hell? Blitz wasn't really interested. All he wanted was to get this guy's order, payment, and then get him out.

Unfortunately for Blitz, this sinner seemed to have other plans.

The twink deer couldn't have been that old. He certainly didn't stink of the human world, but his face was young and his eyes were wide and round. The freckles and long hair didn't help either. Yet, all this contrasted with the very serious look on his face.

He was still fifteen minutes late, and regardless of how good someone looked, Blitz wasn't too happy about that.

"Soooo, you've already wasted some of my time," Blitz leaned back in his chair as the sinner took a seat opposite him, "Let's get the small talk bullshit out of the way quick. I'm Blitz, the O is silent! I'm the head of I.M.P. and I'm a professional murderer!"

The deer twink nodded, still very stiff and tense. He was sitting too straight for Blitz liking, back not resting against the chair and palms against his knees. Those white eyes stared at Blitz a little too long, before darting away.

"I'm Peccantum, and I need someone killed." The sinner replied evenly.

"Well aren't we a match made in hell!" Blitz leaned forward, taking his feet off the desk, "We don't do business in hell though, just warning. We are strictly topside only."

Peccantum nodded in the exact same way as before, "I heard. You target living souls who have wronged those in hell."

"Eh, something like that." Blitz waved off the question and continued quickly, "So, who's the bastard you're looking to off? An ex boyfriend? A teacher? A parent? You got daddy issues?"

There was a slight shake of Peccantum's head before the sinner raised a hand to dismiss the suggestions, "I'm just here for a quote."

At that, Blitz irritation bubbled to the surface. There were plenty of assholes who like to window shop, and they always bothered Blitz when they did so. His time could be used better elsewhere.

"Look, our services are pretty expensive-"

"I have the money." Peccantum interrupted him, "And I'm not here to shop around. I'm just.... Not sure I want him dead."

Blitz raised an eyebrow. That boded a little better. An unsure client could be persuaded if he pushed the right buttons, but he'd need to know more first.

"Want who dead exactly?" He asked.

The sinner took a deep breath, then asked a question Blitz hadn't been expecting.

"Do you work with the Goetias at all?"

Blitz's mind immediately brought up an image of Stolas, bowing to him outside the car window. He flicked it away with irritation. He wasn't thinking about Stolas on his own time, not after Ozzie's.

"Maybe, why?" He asked, his tone harsher than he meant it to be.

"Are they related to Andrealphus?"

"Uh...." Blitz paused but shook his head, "No, no, I don't think so?"

Peccantum's shoulders relaxed slightly, but his gaze remained fixed on the wall behind Blitz, almost seeming glazed over. He didn't answer Blitz unspoken question of 'Why' when he spoke again.

"I need you to kill a cult leader on earth."

Before Blitz could respond, Peccantum continued.

"I'll be as brief as I can be, he runs a cult on a ranch where he raises deer as livestock. The ranch is in the middle of the Rockies, thirty miles from the nearest town, and is about three acres. He usually sleeps in the main house with his wife, on the second floor. There is a window on the north side, but little to no trees or scaffolding nearby.

Blitz listened, partially in puzzlement, partially collecting the details of the mission. It was surprising to hear concise information like this without getting a sob story about how the target deserved to die. It was nice to skip all the small talk but unfortunately, it didn't give him much to work with if he wanted to convince the client.

"Doesn't sound too hard." He admitted when Peccantum finally paused, "We can just get him when he's working. It's just a farm, right?"

The sinner looked at Blitz, and that glazed over look returned.

"He's surrounded by anywhere from three to twenty people at any time." Peccantum's voice was quiet this time, "He's talented in demonic magic, including shielding himself from attack. He has near complete influence over the hundred or so members of his cult, many of whom are armed or combat trained. He is also an earthly point of contact for some of Hell's nobility."

"Well... Shit!" Blitz leaned back in his chair.

That certainly complicated matters, but it wasn't impossible. If this asshole was familiar with hell, and if his connections knew about his murder... Well it could spell trouble for I.M.P. down here, which Blitz wasn't keen on. Especially if it was Goetia drama, he'd already had enough of that. But for the right price...

"So. Would it be possible?" Peccantum asked, breaking Blitz from his thoughts.

"Psh, of course we can kill him! He's mortal isn't he? If he can bleed he can die." Blitz stood up and walked around his desk, scratching his chin, "But a target like that will cost extra, especially if you want it to look like an accident."

Blitz leaned against his desk, "I'd say somewhere around fifty-four grand. Can you manage that?"

The sinner's white eyes flicked away from Blitz, onto the floor this time, "I can," he confirmed, "But I have some questions first."

"Sure." Blitz shrugged, "Ask away."

"Do you use angelic weapons?" Peccantum asked, looking at Blitz intently.

"Mh. No, but a regular bullet works just as well for you humans." Blitz replied, "Shouldn't be an issue."

Peccantum's face tightened some at his response. Blitz paused. Was there an issue with that?

"Do you have anyone skilled in arcane arts?" Came the next question.

"We're assassins, okay, not nerdish prudes." Blitz rolled his eyes, "We've got Luna, but most of the time we just use guns to kill things. Like assassin's do."

Again, Peccantum looked more concerned than ever, and more tense. Blitz internally sighed, this wasn't going well. He had a feeling this wouldn't be fruitful.

"Do you have any way of stopping a target's soul from descending to hell?" Peccantum asked, almost sounding urgent.

Yup. This wasn't going to be good.

"No." He replied, crossing his arms, "What happens after the kill is none of our business. Buuut! If you got beef, you'll be able to settle it down here!"

Blitz almost regretted saying that. The moment he did, he could see Peccantum turn white as a ghost. His whole body seized up, and fear crossed over his face. It was more of an extreme reaction than he had been expecting.

"I.... I think I'll be fine, then." Peccantum stood a little too quickly, "Thank you for your uh.... time? I'll be out of your hair."

Blitz didn't stop the sinner as he tried to leave, but figured he should at least try to make a sale. Damn responsibility and all that. Not to mention the potential payday.... So, in a half-hearted attempt to salvage something, he called out to Peccantum who had his hand on the door.

"He killed you, didn't he? Surely you wanna make him suffer for that."

Peccantum froze, the knob in his hand halfway turned. He was quiet. But that quiet only lasted a moment.

"Honestly? I hope he lives a very long life."

And with that, Peccantum left.

[three--rings]

Starfield Tips/Things I Wish I Knew Earlier

Starfield is honestly amazing if you like this kind of game, but it does seem to be pretty invested in letting you figure out how it works on your own by experimentation. And it's very easy to overlook features of the game.

So...

The traits that give you parents, a fan, and a house are really neat. You get some cool stuff from them. I only did the parents but damn I'm glad I did. So consider these.

You can make your spacesuit and helmet automatically disappear if you're in breathable atmosphere/in a settlement. This way you don't have to worry about taking them off and on and potentially leaving your ship without them. And you don't look like a dork in town. The option is in the inventory page for each of them.

You can boost/sprint when floating. This is important in the Certain Plot Relevant Places.

There is a part of New Atlantis called The Well with a bunch of people and shops and you get to it from an unmarked elevator behind Jemison Merchantile in the Spaceport (or the unmarked elevator in the MAST transit station.) I played 30 hours before I found this out.

Read the skills closely, including the locked ones. Multiple times I put points in the wrong thing, thinking it would let me do things, when that was actually a different skill elsewhere.

Don't avoid the UC Vanguard questline. A lot of people I think are avoiding it because it's joining the military on a side that is a little sketchy/sus, but there's a lot of reasons to do this EARLY.

There's a museum you go through that gives you the entire lore background and recent history of the world

There's a flight simulator "test" you can take as much as you want to practice the space combat.

The storyline is REALLY REALLY good. (um, warning for horror elements) There are two different quest lines it opens and one also opens access to joining the Crimson Fleet faction.

7. When you upgrade your pilot skill it unlocks using thrusters in space flight. These let you maneuver without moving forward, so you are way more agile in combat. Use RB with a controller, IDK what the keyboard thingy is. But they're actually great. You hold down the button and then move sideways or up and down. Makes moving to new targets much better.

8. Weapons have different levels. Base which just has the name and then Calibrated, Refined, and Advanced. So pay attention and pick up the higher level ones. If you get a good advanced gun early you can use it and upgrade it for EVER. There's also rarity levels, which is the colored things. But that's about bonus effects. So you might get a really shitty gun with a Legendary bonus effect and it's still trash. If you get a high level weapon with a good bonus effect TREASURE IT.

9. Certain quests give you really good items, including SHIPS. IMO the best ship to get is the one from the Freestar Rangers.

10. Once you get a house you can build in it just like in an outpost. Also you can drop things from your inventory into an outpost or a house and then in build mode move that item around onto shelves, etc.

11. There is Universal time and Planet time. So if you wait or sleep, depending on where you are that may count as more time passing than what you chose. All shops refresh their money and inventory in 48 hours UT, but on Jemison, for example, that's only 24 hours of planet time.

12. Ship building can be intense and intimidating but it's really really worth it. You can always cancel out and undo what you did, so experiment. And when in doubt, add more engines, lol. (But really you want to add cargo space ASAP and then you need more engines, and then you end up wanting whole new ships.) Different ports have different makers of parts, and the best items are in the home port for each brand.

13. Unlocking the Ship Targeting skill is a game changer for space combat. It lets you lock on and then slows down time while you pummel the enemy's ship systems. If you take our their engines, and they are alone you can then dock with them and fight them and take their ship. Space piracy FTW.

14. If you get contraband avoid cities. Go to the Wolf System to The Den to sell it. This is very lucrative. At the slight price of your personal integrity.

15. As a general rule if something is sucking, you need to find the skill for it and invest points in it. This is true for piloting, scanning, boost packs, etc. They really made the skill trees count and be necessary in this game. Also surveying planets is really good XP actually. To help you get those points.

16. Speaking of surveying, if you are trying to complete a planet you need to visit all the biomes. If you click on the planet it will tell you the percent complete of that biome before landing. If you have one lone fauna left that fucker is probably in the ocean so look for COAST.

17. When placing outposts make sure there's not a lot of annoying mountains in it, and also you really want to prioritize sites with He-3 because you need it to really do anything. (Helium, iron, aluminum are the most important to build with.) And you have a limited number of outposts without taking a high level skill to get more.

That's all I can think of for now.

[sanchomps]

If you don't mind me asking, why did you close your inprnt store? I quite enjoy inprnt's products, but if you left because they don't treat their artists right I'd like to know so I can source my prints elsewhere!

Related but not relevant, I sleep under your artwork (bad angle because I am on the implied bed)

I love my prints!

hi! i closed my inprnt store for personal reasons tbh. it became a chore to keep promoting it and with opening my own shop, it was an opportunity for me to present my work on different mediums beyond prints. i think i was lucky i didn't get affected by the wave of payment processing issues others experienced with inrpnt's payout system being delayed by months. though another con for me it took So Long to receive my money from inprnt (1 month for them to release the funds for each purchase). i understand why but it was a drag :/ i can't imagine for those who need the funds more urgently

though i'm aware my experience is just one grain of sand in a desert of many, many artists using the platform and some whose livelihoods depend on it. please do keep supporting artists who have inprnts and may only have that platform! next best thing is buying directly from artists who have their own online shops :-) i do think inprnt's print quality is great and their profit margin is much better than any other print on demand site

i'm glad you enjoy my prints from it though!! ;_; and i hope they help you sleep well and guard over your dreams HAHA. i can't promise this 100% and i often prefer to keep going forward with art, but maybe i can redraw those prints in the future to put up on my own store. but i'm so busy and have so many ideas yet no time to do them lol

[supermarine-silvally]

Could I pretty pretty please ask for 💗 for my beloved Portada, Hadley love? 💜

Here you go, my dear Dolly!! <3 tysm for the request; it got long af but I always underestimate how much I enjoy writing Ace Angst heheh

No direct spoilers, but written in such a way that anyone who Knows can read between the lines lol hope you enjoy!! <3

💗 slow kiss / gentle kiss / inevitable / soft

Ace hated Loguetown. 

It wasn’t the shops; those were objectively fine. Maybe a bit pricey at times, but there were enough of them around that he could easily take his business elsewhere if he felt he was getting a raw deal. Nor was it the pubs (well, save for one notable exception), nor the tourists, nor even the occasional increased presence of Marines. No, what he hated about Loguetown was that he couldn’t exactly tell anyone that he hated Loguetown. 

Because that would always lead to the follow-up question he really didn’t want to answer: Why?

And sure, he could lie, and blame it on pricey shops or low-quality pubs or loud, annoying tourists or having to outrun a determined Marine captain once in a while. But anyone who knew Ace knew that he didn’t have a problem with any of those things on any other island they ever visited. Which would lead him back to the infernal question of why. Why Loguetown? What could possibly be there that turned an otherwise cheerful, fun-loving guy into a broody, angry young man?

There were three people in the entirety of Whitebeard’s fleet who knew Ace’s secret. The first to find out was Deuce, his vice-captain from his Spade Pirates days and who now served on Whitebeard’s massive medical division. The masked man had learned of it back when the two had found themselves stranded on Sixis Island at the same time. Ace hadn’t admitted it so much as Deuce had sort of managed to guess it. His initial negative reaction had been what Ace always feared, but Deuce had fortunately come around shortly before luck would bestow them with the Mera Mera no Mi, and Ace had gained the powers he would become infamous for.

The second who knew was Whitebeard. What sort of ‘son’ would Ace be if he kept such a massive secret from the man he called Pops? Ace had feared the worst when the words left his lips, but Whitebeard had merely chuckled in response. “We are all children of the sea,” he had said, and Ace had felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders, if only for a moment.

And the third, of course, was Yara. His Yara; Yara who had shared her secret in turn, removing her eyepatch to reveal the most beautiful heterochromatic eyes he had ever seen-- and boy, did he want to punch anyone who had ever made her feel otherwise. He could have kissed her that night, underneath the stars, but it would take him much, much longer before he finally surrendered to a love he had no chance of ever winning against. As far as Ace was concerned, those were the three people who would ever get to know. Even his other closest friends would have to be kept in the dark. It was better that way. 

All of those things floated around Ace’s mind as he returned to the small ship Whitebeard had ordered him to take for his mission. It was a simple enough task; all he had to do was meet with a supplier who had promised the Whitebeard Pirates a new supply line running from the East Blue into the Grand Line. Fairly standard pirate stuff, especially for an Emperor’s crew. Usually it would be something that First Division would handle, but Marco was away dealing with a distress call from an allied fleet who had encountered an unknown illness and required the support of a skilled doctor. So Ace, as Second Division Commander, gladly stepped up to the plate. 

Until he heard that the site of his mission was fucking Loguetown. And by then, it was too late to back out. 

So he had gone to Loguetown with his men, and he had hated every second of it, determinedly keeping his eyes on anything but the town square and the ghastly tourist attraction located there. He had done his best to keep up with the jokes and the good humour that he was known for, but by the end of the day, he was exhausted and absolutely determined to go somewhere he wouldn’t be reminded of that man. The navigators, however, had decided against trying to tackle Reverse Mountain in the dark, meaning that he had to wait until daybreak before he could finally be out of there. It was such a pain. 

The port they were anchored in was fortunately far enough from the main town that Ace at least wasn’t confronted with too many reminders of the answer as to why he hated Loguetown so much. He could try his best to forget about it for a few hours, at least. 

Or that’s what he hoped, anyways.

Sighing, he leaned against the edge of the anchored ship, staring out at the open ocean, the tiny glints of stars reflecting off the water’s calm surface. Everyone he had met in town had been so pleasant. He thought of the old lady who had given him a discount on three bags of rice to take on their journey back to the Grand Line because he was just ‘such a nice young man.’ Would she still say the same thing if she knew about the blood that flowed through his veins? 

Do I deserve to be alive?

Ace had asked himself that question many times before. It was only fitting it would return to the forefront of his mind in this place, of all places. And it was all the fault of that man. 

“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?” a familiar voice spoke.

Ace sighed again. “Am I really that obvious?”

“To me, you are.” Yara perched herself on the gunwale. She was wearing the new sundress that she had purchased for herself back in town, her long violet hair swept over her shoulder in a loose ponytail. “I should’ve insisted Pops find someone else for this mission. It wasn’t fair to send you.”

“Eh, I can cope.” He tried to shrug it off. “And besides, you look gorgeous in that dress, so it was worth it in the end.”

Yara frowned. She clearly wasn’t buying it. “Alright, now tell me how you really feel.”

“I said I’m--”

“Ace. Please. Don’t bullshit me.”

He let out a heavy sigh, his gaze resting on a buoy that bobbed a few metres away from their ship. “I hate it here. Everywhere I looked, it was like he was tormenting me from beyond the grave. Him and his damn legacy.” 

The look in Yara’s eyes was sympathetic as she reached out, smoothing a strand of raven hair behind his ear. She kept silent, allowing him to continue rambling.

“I know it’s bad to say, but I wish I could torch this whole place to the ground. Then maybe the world could move on.” Maybe I could finally find a shred of peace from it all. 

“You know the World Government would never let that happen, Loguetown or no Loguetown.” She laughed bitterly. “They certainly love their bogeymen.”

“Yeah.” He sighed. “I know. It’s never gonna end. I’m just… cursed forever, doomed for the entire world to hate me because of him and his stupid treasure. Maybe there’s no way out, except…”

Yara gently tilted his head, bringing their eyes to meet. “Now you listen to me, Portgas D. Ace.” She cupped her hands around his face, thumbs brushing tenderly against his freckled cheeks. “You are not your father. None of his deeds are your deeds. None of his sins are your sins. Anyone who can’t see that is an idiot of the highest order, blinded by World Government propaganda or their own ignorant grudges.”

Ace blinked, feeling the conviction behind her words. Yara leaned closer to him, her breath ghosting against his face as she pressed her forehead to his. Ace’s arms wrapped protectively around her waist, his fingers tracing the zipper at the back of her dress.

“You are the most wonderful man in the world, and the best thing that has ever happened to me,” she whispered, her lips hovering only centimetres away from his. “Fuck your father. Fuck Loguetown. Fuck the world. You deserve to be alive, and you deserve to be loved.”

He swallowed, emotion gathering as a hot lump in his throat. “Yara…”

She pressed her lips to his with such adamant tenderness that it stole the air from his lungs. He kissed her back with the devotion of a prayer whispered in an empty cathedral, the softness between them melding together in slow, careful movements. Ace’s tension ebbed away, leaving him with the sensation of floating among a sea of stars, anchored to Earth only by the honeyed taste of Yara’s lips. 

“I love you,” she breathed as she pulled away ever so slightly, fingers stroking the side of his face. “Never forget that.” 

“You really don’t think he was a monster, huh?” he whispered.

She shook her head. “The biggest monsters in my life have all carried the World Government’s flag. I can’t see how a man who opposed that could be so evil.”

Ace stared at her for a moment before letting out a small laugh. “I can’t wait to introduce you to Luffy. I have a feeling the two of you are gonna get along great.”

Yara smiled as she slid down from the gunwale. “I’m very much looking forward to meeting your brother someday.”

“Just to warn you, he’s a handful.”

“So are you, my dearest fireboy.”

Pulling her close, Ace pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “…Thank you, Yara. I shouldn’t think too much about my old man; not when I have the perfect family right here. You, Luffy, Pops… You’re everything I could ever want.” Everything I never dreamed I could have.

“C’mon.” She offered him a hand, and he took it. “Let’s get some rest before we depart.”

Nodding in agreement, Ace allowed her to lead him towards the captain’s quarters. Soon, Loguetown would be behind him. And while he could never truly escape his bloodline, he could at least take solace in those who loved him despite it.

One Piece OC friends taglist: @auxiliarydetective @oneirataxia-girl @daughter-of-melpomene @box-of-bats @starcrossedjedis

[leqclerc]

I always rooted for charles to stay at ferrari, because I wanted him to win with them. But seeing the way everyone is reacting after this race. . . He's starting to get the vettel treatment and I don't think it's going to get better. It's the first time I'm starting to think he should leave.

Yeah, I agree. It's the infamous Ferrari Number 1 Driver Affliction™. Ferrari might not publicly acknowledge Charles as such, but by all other metrics that's exactly what he is.

The prevalent narrative that it's his own frustrations/uncontrolled emotions that are the root cause of his troubles is very similar to what was being said about Seb. I mean, to this day you still get people parroting the claim that "he was never the same after Hockenheim 2018" which is........ just not true? lol Hockenheim 2019 has entered the chat 🤪 It was basically the ideal redemption drive after the events of 2018 and I barely see it mentioned. He can't even catch a break in retirement with all the "well Seb couldn't extract the full potential out of the Aston like Alonso does" takes. Like he's not single-handedly responsible for Aston's highest podium finish to date in a car that had maybe a fraction of the pace that this year's car does. Jfc.

Not to mention that the weight of a failed title challenge doesn't rest solely on the shoulders of the driver - there's many factors at play and in both 2018 and 2022 Ferrari just couldn't keep up with their rivals and threw away too many points by tripping over their own feet.

What's also frustrating about the Charles situation in particular is that... it's the Italian media who gassed him up in the first place, who boxed him into this Il Predestinato moniker when he himself never put himself on that pedestal, never claimed to be Ferrari's salvation. He can do a lot but there are things that are beyond even him. Drivers and team principals come and go but the title drought remains and no amount of Charles slander will change that 🤷🏻‍♀️

I know winning at Ferrari is his dream and he's 110% invested in this team but my god... he's on year 4/5 of his contract and what does he have to show for it? After last year's fight ended prematurely they've now taken a step back again and have been leapfrogged by Aston and are either on par with or perhaps even slower than Merc. There's still a lack of clarity and firmness leading to messy unnecessary situations like the qualy in Melbourne. Don't think anyone would blame him if he started shopping around for alternative opportunities elsewhere at this point.

[goobersplat]

Kind-meaning advice for you that you don't have to publish - just some thoughts! For me, there are a few factors as to why I haven't purchased a digital zine from you. One, I don't have a printer, but even if I did, the prices might be slightly too steep for me. I'd recommend (for comparison sake) looking at other sites where artists sell zines, if you haven't already. One of my favourites is https://mushroomy.house/search?q=zine There's obviously a wide range of prices there, but the smaller zines are around $3 - $5, and that's printed (plus doesn't require any clumsy folding from me!) And it feels special! Something the artist put together with their hands and sent out to me, not something I constructed alone in my house. Another thing is, there's no examples of pages inside the zine. Personally, I can't get a feel for a zine from just the cover, though I might be alone in that regard. I prefer to see at least one example page from inside to see if it's a style I think I'd vibe with. Or to already know the artist's style from elsewhere - then I feel safer to go in blind! The same thing goes for the stickers. I love ordering stickers from artists! I have a whole storage box full of 'em :D There's something about choosing stickers that look appealing to me, waiting for them to arrive, then getting to hold them in my hand (and stick them places of course!) that feels magical. Everything's been done for me - my job is just to love them, then stick them. I wouldn't know where to begin printing, cutting, adhering(?) stickers from a digital file. If i did, I'd probably be making my own designs! Also, I'm FUSSY about stickers XD If I, for example, borrowed my parent's inkjet during a visit to print some digital stickers, they wouldn't come out nearly as bright or crisp as I'd want for a sticker I'd want to stick places. I don't think many people have access to high quality printers. I look forward to seeing physical items in your shop in the future (I saw you mention that in a reply.) You're obviously super creative and I hope you do wonderfully well with your new store.

Thank you for the helpful advice and kind words! I’ve never done anything like this before so it’s very helpful. I think I’ve realized my prices were too high for digital products, I think above anything I want people to enjoy them, so I’m totally fine with lowering them!

Also I actually do have previews of the inside, just hidden under the disclaimers, and now that you mention it I can definitely make the previews clearer 😅

The idea of doing a physical store always felt much more daunting to me, and since I have access to my library’s printer, I kind of assumed that’s what most people did—my bad lol. I’m not sure how I’d be able to sell my own stickers without spending a lot of money on manufacturing but I could possibly sell small batches of zines? I definitely agree with homemade being better.

Again, thanks for the advice! If anyone else has thoughts let me know ❤️

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I'm trying not to do any daydreaming related to a specific house right now because that's a recipe for heartbreak, but the only way I'll stay motivated is if I do SOME kind of daydreaming about the future we're going to have once we get settled in a couple of months. I need to be able to create the path I'm going to be on in order to not just show up there in December and flounder aimlessly. So. Daydreaming under the cut I guess.

I've been thinking about making kitty climbers and a tree for them when we get to the new place from scrap wood, rope, fabric, and other supplies. The wifey and I have been imagining a sort of whole house jungle gym that allows the kitties to scumble around the walls of the house away from the dogs whenever they like, and get some fun kitty exercise, as well as to hide lil packed treaties around for them to hunt for enrichment. They've recently taken to "hunting" the dog's treat pack overnight and stealing all their treats lol, so clearly they could use they stalking time.

I think it'll be really good for all of us to not be so squished up together in such a small space, but adding levels for the cats so they can travel around in places where the dogs can't reach at all should be extra soothing for them, especially Taako who may take a while to adjust to climbing but I think will take to it beautifully once he learns how much freedom and privacy it offers him. Lup loves to climb things and go for adventures already so I expect as soon as she sees a new surface to climb on and smells the catnip on it she will be all over that shit.

I think I might tuck little potted catmint plants around the platforms too for them to nibble on at their leisure. Maybe silvervine for Taako too if I can find it. He can take or leave catnip but he LOVES silvervine. Apparently, it grows trellised, so I may see about growing it on wall mats or in a little window box for them. It'd be great to not have to source our kitty fun time plants from elsewhere anymore.

I want to also try my hand at constructing some sturdy bed crates for the dogs and making my own mattresses for them, rather than buying dog beds. That way each of the dogs can have their own nice little individualized space in the house, a bed, a food bowl, a waterer, and a snuggly. I want to get back to learning crochet soon because it's definitely a skill I want, and I figure a couple of doggie blankets are a perfect practice project. Maybe some easy crochet stuffies for Jaxxie to chew on and Tobi to snuggle with. That ought to be a good number of projects for me to work on too, as I'm settling in and trying to find my routine in the new place.

Between these, painting, establishing the garden, and finding furniture for the place at thrift shops, we should have enough on our hands for a good year of projects for the household. That'll give us time to start making connections, settle into the area, get to know our neighbors, and establish our routines. Year two is hopefully where things really get going.

First of all, in year two, I'm going to be taking on a much bigger role at work, including a title change, a pay increase, and a shift in the type of work I am doing. So financially, we'll be in much better shape, in an area where the cost of living is half what it is here, and with an established garden covering probably about a third of our food costs. If we're lucky, this is the point where we'll be able to get chickens, shifting our food costs down a smidge further (eggs is expensive and we go through a lot) and post up a little "take what you need, give what you can" farm stand with produce and eggs to give away excess food and start collecting a cash savings in addition to our normal one.

Regardless, year two is the absolute latest of when I expect that we'll start working with local food banks and community fridges to donate regular produce boxes for their patrons. My hope is that we can use this as a starting point to get involved with the local mutual aid scene and see what's needed and how we're best equipped to support that need, whether it be financial donations, volunteering our time, resource donations, logistical work, or other legwork. Wifey plans to make a career out of organizing at this point, and I'm happy to say that we're about to be very well set up to support (and finance) that as soon as these last few logistical puzzle pieces fall into place. My career is looking to be in great shape as well, and while I need to keep taking strides and putting in the work to keep it on track (there are definitely places where I am falling down on the job but it is largely due to either a) my brain is still doing a lot of avoidance that I am working to overcome via meds and therapy and b) oh god advancing your career in my field is so fucking expensive and right now i am stretched to my absolute breaking point just getting us through to house-get. I can't even think about CEUs and certifications. But once I'm done with all the deposits and inspections and paying rent I can't afford, I need to make sure that my first priority is getting my tf-cbt certifications and getting as close to emdr certification as I am allowed at my level. I should also really get started on some broader CEUs too, though I can probably find at least one or two good free ones between now and then. I have a couple in my files I can upload to my tracker already I think (hope I remembered to save those certificates!) and at least that would show I didn't completely ignore them for a year after graduation lol. Anyway maybe I'll find one to do this weekend so I can at least have a start on things.

One of the things I'm really looking forward to about being settled is getting to having the space to exercise again. I'm planning to start doing a morning pilates routine and a mid day strength training routine now that I'm going to have a real office and can leave space for myself to have a little exercise corner. I'm hoping that between the structured workouts and the functional work of gardening, I'll finally start to build my body back up now that I seem to be regaining health. I want to feel like I felt during the years I was doing daily pilates and strength training in college, like I used to feel as a kid. Strong, in tune with my body, capable. Not.....like I have been feeling for so long. I can't keep living like this. I need my body to be right, and that means HRT, that means top surgery, that means getting stronger, that means for once in my life not apologizing for my body but reveling in it. I want to get tattoos after top surgery, not to cover my scars, but to go where my nipples would be, cuz like. Why graft nipples back on when you could have cool tattoos, am I right? And I figure, once I have fun nipple tattoos, the world is my tattoo oyster from there lol. That tattoo artist is my tattoo artist for life if they were cool about that project and did a good job. Which works cuz I have like. Three tattoo designs in the works and once we're settled, and I'm making moves on HRT and shit, I can start sourcing queer tattoo artists in the area who might dig the idea of working with me on my ink.

Starting to get tattoos would be step one of allowing the reality of me to exist divorced and separate from professional me. I don't plan (yet) to get tattoos anywhere that would be seen on camera, so while professional me would exist as they always have, up close and personal me would have a different vibe.

Step two is clothes. It's time for me to stop wearing things just because "it fit and I can afford it". With a little luck my office will be big enough for three things: my work station, an exercise corner big enough for a yoga mat, and a sewing station with a sewing table and dress form matched to my body and a tuck away ironing station. I want to start making my clothes from scratch so I can have outfits I actually feel comfortable in. I think I also need to knit myself a good pair of long socks and buy myself an actual quality garter belt. I'm planning on wearing my boots from now on, because they're actually good shoes, but I have to wear socks with them, and in order to keep the socks from rolling down to my goddamn arches at some point during the day because god forbid the sock just stay put nooooo, my leg has to be shaped like the world's best slip n slide. So until I learn more about leatherwork, I'll have to be picking one up. The garters I have never actually keep the goddamn sock because they're just meant for shitty lingerie. I also want to grab a good pair of suspenders. I plan to be the world's classiest goddamn dyke.

Year two should see me in good shape to start doing that, because my body will probably be in a less dramatic state of flux after being on hormones for a while. Obviously the dramatic change of no titty will probably be yet to come, but I can probably bind, or get a good set of corsetry to manage that in the meantime.

Step three of making me again is hair. I gotta figure out this hair thing. I can't just keep letting it growing out completely wild and then hacking it off in a passion only to do the same thing all over again. I need to actually learn how to cut my hair properly into a hairstyle I'll like. I'm gonna give this one another go today because I think I have an idea of how to fix it up a little, but I'm a bit anxious that I fucked it lol.

[sparatus]

WBW HOEASS (affectionate)

You write the mariners union yes? Yes. I know they have a few swears that could make a pirate blush — so, what are some rude sayings, names, gestures, etc in Tiirtias (and elsewhere)

HIIII pretend it's not saturday--

so!! tiirtis are pretty famously grouchy and isolationist, so they have. kind of a lot of rude things to say about everyone, especially tourists and cipritinians, lol. there's also an old rift between the seafarers and the landbound, which stems from pre-republic times and has gotten better with time (and a common enemy in the mainlanders, thanks to the war) but still winks at you from language remnants now and again.

one of the most important distinctions for non-natives to know is the difference between zadeū and zadeuuzūt: the former means "foreigner" and is a generally neutral word, while the latter means "invader" and is very, very negative. your buddy from basic visiting for the holidays because he can't make it home himself is zadeū and will be greeted warmly and given the benefit of the doubt. a tourist wandering around being obnoxious and treating the place like a quaint little backwoods time capsule is zadeuuzūt and will be shunned, cursed at, and potentially chased off at gunpoint if they act stupid in the wrong district. the distinction came about after the great war, when cipritinians started arriving on tiirti shores to establish trade routes within the new empire and sort out how governance would work. the native, freshly-conquered tiirtis weren't impressed with the smug attitudes some of them had, and stuck with referring to all mainlanders zadeuuzūt despite the war being over, since it obviously still felt like they were being invaded and insult added to injury. over time, as a balance was struck and understanding reached, "good" mainlanders who were respectful of tiirti traditions and culture were allowed to be referred to as zadeū instead, to mark to other native speakers that this one was okay to work with and wouldn't be rude. zadeuuzūt, on the other hand, remains a highly charged word, as it tells other native speakers pretty clearly that that non-native isn't to be trusted and doesn't respect them as a unique culture.

beyond that, we also have xän, which refers to a boarlike animal native to the mainland and considered an invasive species in tiirtias. they were introduced to the island with good intentions during the republic era, hoping to bring in a new source of meat via a very hardy species that can survive just about any conditions - unfortunately, it backfired, as the xäni became infamous for destroying any area they touch. while some farms do still raise them for meat to take some of the burden off the dazduus herds, if found in the wild they are mercilessly culled and the carcasses sold to butcher shops in the city. the meat is good, but they became associated with their seemingly unending hunger and destruction, and as such became a derogatory symbol of capitalism when turians made first contact with aliens and the volus introduced them to the system. seeing only grief in a system many turians on the whole (not just the tiirtis) viewed as not in their community-driven society's best interest, the tiirtis likened those who followed the foreign system to their hated invasive pests, and it stuck. (capitalism also being a "hated invasive pest" also contributed to the new meaning of the word, of course.)

some other fun terms that have less uhhh need for explanation?

gamosmaze or gamo, just means "fuck." the shortened form is for quick grumbling, the long one for when you're really pissed. when conjugating into adjectives or nouns, gamo is used, because tiirtiak really likes its suffixes and words can get really long, so abbreviations are pretty common, lol.

dide, meaning "shit", can be used as both a noun and a verb

pretty much any word can be given a much more negative connotation and turned into a curse with the suffix "-ze," with either an "a" or a glottal stop between it and the end of the word if it ends in a consonant. alliance translators incorrectly equivocated "ze" to "hell," but that concept doesn't exist in tiiri spirituality. it's just the derogatory suffix! dazduusaze (dazduus being a shithead), bevenaze (stupid fucking half-rotted boat), you can even add it onto existing cuss words to emphasize how really pissed off you are like gamosmaze'ze or dideze!

tveux and sarnuux, said with derogatory subvocals, are a little funny because they're effectively just "waterlogged" and "filthy" but said like cuss words. tveux is old derogatory slang for the seafaring clans, sarnuux for the landbound herder clans, and they're mostly used lightly in the modern day but they do sometimes show up in heated fights between the mariners' union and the ranchers' guild over whose problems need government help first.

saying somebody's boat has holes or they've "hit the Wall" (meaning the great wall that surrounds the city, including a retractable section through the bay) a few too many times implies they're too rock-stupid to be trusted. these are fightin' words.

"shatha bait" is self-explanatory. you're so dumb you'll just fucking sit out in the open for a shatha to eat you.

"rock-claw" is slang for the gaevig to the south, their nearest neighbors. the gaevig evolved to climb trees and sheer rock faces, including the sea-cliffs along the coast closest to tiirtias, so that was early tiirti sailors' first impression of them. "rock-claw" is fairly friendly, but the alternative "zixu'äxu" ("broken tooth," implying they ate the rocks) is decidedly not.

okay i'm sure there's more i'm forgetting about but those are the fun and important ones!! sorry for the text wall oops

[horseforeplay]

weird question maybe but do you have recommendations for like. good part-time jobs for artists? i'm strongly considering working part-time instead of full so i have more time to focus on my writing but haven't taken the plunge yet

BEST OF LUCK TO U!!!!!! there r so many different ways people make this work. and i’m sure u know the odds r stacked against you if you do not have rich parents. you know your material circumstances better than me, a succession blogger. so. w/ that in mind. uhhhhh god to me it’s just about finding work that detracts from my creative pursuits the absolute least. like i’m at a place where i consider my creative work to be my career (ie: my skill level is professional and i make a little more money in comics every year but still need to do other things to make ends meet) so my relationship to the paying-my-rent jobs is not as strained as it was when i was attempting to build my creative voice from the ground-up while also working elsewhere. i am not good at that. some people can do it. personally (and i would not recommend this. i mean jesus) i ended up simply doing art full-time until i ran out of money. now i have the tiniest foothold in my career path and am able to do odd jobs without losing my mind bc i have A Real Thing i’m working for. SO to try and be more helpful: i recommend work for money that doesn’t utilize the same skillset as your creative work (like as a writer, i would avoid work that involves a lot of reading and writing because it would fry my brain. if ur not wired that way and find constant stimulation of the same type energizing to your creative freedom then ignore me lmfao) and seeking out a sweet spot where you’re doing something interesting enough to engage you but not so close to your field that you want to explode from impatience breaking in (like i work as a house manager at a theatre rn because i like theatre and have enough connections in the community for it to be pleasant and supportive. but i am not trying to make theatre my career. i know if i went to work at a comic book store i would feel like I’M A STAR PLEASE I’M A STAR every day and my actual comics would suffer for it LOL. though ofc i know plenty of comic artists who have worked/still work in shops and as editors etc and are fine. this is my particular ego constitution and u may be built differently lol)

[a-geo-slime]

I cannot believe how much money I just spent in 3 hours. While at this moment I don't need to worry about spending my money... Wow.

I got a job recently and i finally got my first paycheck(its only 1 weeks worth rn cuz its my first. Its just due to how the system works)

We really needed the money but now we don't (the universe had mercy on us)

So i decided i would get some things

Because ive been wanting a few things for a while but never got them cuz i cant just have my mom spend money on me whenever i want, and thats fine im not mad about it

But its been a long time since ive gotten anything i really really want

Like years

So in my mind there are 3 most important things to spend on

THE SANXINGDUI GIFT BOX

$140~

(I HAVE BEEN WANTING THIS DAMN THING SINCE IT RELEASED. BACK IN FUCKING DECEMBER. HAD IT RELEASED EARLIER I WOULD HAVE ASKED FOR IT FOR CHRISTMAS INSTEAD OF LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE)

A meal at a special AUTHENTIC CHINESE RESTAURANT in my state (its a bit far away but i really wanna try it some time)

$60- $100+ depending on what we (2 people out of six who LOVE chinese food) decide to try.

And an art tablet with a screen

$250~

Well i got the gift box set and a liyue geo vision

$228.97

And decided the others would wait till my next paycheck

So i decided

In my infinite wisdom

To go shopping elsewhere

Ahem

Sayweee!

(1) Sweet&spicy cheetos (for mom they are her fav but we cant find them in asian markets near us)

$15.26

~~~~

(3) Pepsi White peach Oolong... (To split between 6 and try) + Free shopping bag?

$11.62

~~~~

(1) Osmanthus cake (im desperate to know what osmanthus tastes like and thought it would be good to try...)

(1 box) calleton taro bread (we love these but cant find in the asian markets near us)

(1 box) Calleton Avocado bread (same thing but avocado. Mom loves these)

$69.63

(they will be a nice surprise to share with family so there's no way I'll regret getting them)

ETSY

Zhongli bracelet

$21.17

~~~~

Zhongli Wrist Lanyard (thing)

15.88

~~~~

Metal planet befall pin

$20.40

~~~~

Zhongli emote charm

$17.38

~~~~

ANOTHER wrist lanyard (thing) that looks like a stone steele

$15.05

~~~~

Zhongli metal bookmark (better one than what on genshin global...)

$15.86

~~~~

Zhongli long sleeve shirt (actually do check this one out. its from "Turotake" im gonna wear it all the time once i get it)

$42.58

~~~~

Geo symbol pin

$15.45

(I'm just obsessed with zhongli and recently broke my phone charm during work (fucking box cutter man) so i wanted some things to try out as charms... Got distracted...)

....

So as you can see

Im as bad as zhongli right now

HOWEVER

i dont think this will become a huge habit

Like i said

Its just been so long since ive gotten anything for myself, and i just wanted to take advantage of the fact that i had a chance to use my new hard earned money for myself.

My next purchases might be a few snacks and those other two big things once i get my next paycheck(and toys but that can wait for a while cuz i have some and dont need them)

Im just astounded at the fact i let myself do this lol. That i even could. Ive never had this much money at once before

That i have like 12 packages to look forward to at varying dates...

Aaaah

I just wanted to talk about this

Cuz i just spent $530+

[hismercytomyjustice]

Waaah!!! My bff is coming to visit me next weekend and I’m so excited!!!

°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

I haven’t seen her since my birthday back in March when we went and did a Clue themed escape room.

She was originally gonna be in town for another reason that one got cancelled, but she’s still coming to see me and it means a lot! We only live about 2.5 hours apart, but it’s hard to find time to meet up. She’s always crazy busy, so I try to not to add to her overwhelm.

I’M SO EXCITED!!! Gonna take her to this killer coffee shop and maybe see if I can find some local karaoke.

Lol she said we could watch some of the movies we’ve been meaning to but let’s be real. We always end up talking nonstop when we’re together so the number of movies we’ll get through is…probably not many, haha.

Hoping to get to visit her later this year to maybe see Clue the Musical (sensing a theme?). And to see her sweet little baby kitty who almost tolerates me!!!

It’d be nice to revisit the area too. I’ve only been living back in my hometown for a year now, after living there for a decade. I prefer that area but wanted to move closer to home for a variety of reasons. It’s tough sometimes. Putting down new roots is hard. Especially for a veritable hermit like me who abhors change in any form.

That also reminds me I’m gonna have to travel for work in June and I don’t wanna.

(;﹏;) It’ll be fine. It’s just for a few days, but I’m exhausted just thinking about it. Gonna have to fly there on a Monday morning and won’t be back home until late Wednesday. It is gonna be wildly busy too. It’s the first time our all remote team will be meeting in person with just our team. I’ve only seen them all in person once before when we had Summit in NOLA last year, but that included our entire business unit.

We were told we’ll probably do Summit with the whole business unit every two years, so that’ll be coming up again next year too.

I just find it wildly exhausting to have to be “on” for other people. Haven’t figured out if it’s an ADHD masking thing or not. Just constantly in my own head like “make eye contact, stop fidgeting, pre-plan topics of conversation, make sure you look interested and engaged, what can you contribute to this conversation” etc. Then retreating to my hotel room to lick my “being social” wounds and inevitably being a shell of a human for 1-2 days after I get back home.

Now that I have the privilege to work from home and have since March 2020, my social battery is almost nonexistent. I’m also hyperaware of how I am around other people, likely because I’m physically around other people so rarely. Partly by choice and partly because of lacking said social battery.

I’m also constantly talking to other people at work, even though I’m remote. Email, Slack, phone, WebEx. My job is super demanding which is good because it keeps me engaged but bad because it tends to wipe me out. I’m much happier than I was when I was stuck in sales *shudders* but when I’m working now, I need to be as close to 100% attention as possible. My executive function is always in shambles by the end of the day.

Hopefully work easing up over the next few months will help.

While I’m a fast worker, having to maintain ALL of my focus for hours at a time is so fucking hard. But the alternative is being fucking miserable at work. And we all know how much our lives in the US revolve around our work!

Gonna be working with my therapist too on better handling demands like this. I am desperate for a routine but when so much of my executive function is devoted to my job, it’s nigh impossible for me to dole it out elsewhere.

And also being more ~self-compassionate~.

(；¬＿¬)

Why is self-compassion so hard???

Because you have OCD and ADHD, you ninny. And you live in a capitalistic hellscape.

[eldritchsurveys]

1198.

Have you cuddled with someone today? >> King Crimson suddenly reappeared this morning and promptly fell asleep, unsurprisingly, but there was some cuddling before that. And of course I needed maximum Can Calah cuddles after my somatic stretching episode.

Can you smell anything right now? >> Not really.

Have you spoken to a relative on the phone today? .

Do you use the toilet paper with the colorful designs on it? >> Absolutely not.

Do you wear your hair up or down most often? .

What was the first thing you ate today? >> I had leftover mushroom alfredo with microgreens and those super-tiny tomatoes added in.

Do you have anything more important you should be doing right now? >> If I did, I'd probably be doing it. I can't procrastinate for too long, the anxiety of the looming task gets to me and I can't even enjoy whatever more-fun thing I've decided to do instead. So there's really no point.

Do you still buy the paper or do you get your news elsewhere? >> I have never bought newspapers and I don't seek out the news. Have you ever eaten tofu and if so, did you enjoy it? >> Sure.

Have you worn make-up today? >> I have not.

Can you hear anything right now? >> I had the MyNoise preset running because there were construction sounds earlier but this just reminded me to pause it and see if they're still-- oop, yeah, they're definitely still going. White noise preset back on now.

What was the last type of meat you ate? >> Chicken (specifically, sesame chicken that I ordered on DoorDash).

Have you taken any medication today? >> I had about 2mg of an edible. I'll probably have another 3mg or so later. Have you ever been suspended from school? >> I have, usually for altercations that weren't actually my fault. The epitome of adding insult (getting suspended for "fighting") to injury (being bullied by aggressive people).

Have you ever inhaled helium? >> I have, it's too funny to resist. Have you bought something that was on sale today? >> Nothing that I got at Bridge Street Market was on sale.

What was the last fruit you ate? >> Strawberries, last evening in the backyard. Or, I guess you could count the tomatoes from this morning, depending on which definition of "fruit" you're going by.

Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? >> I've seen the whole thing, yeah.

Have you watched a movie this week? >> I watched Snow White and the Huntsman on Monday. I've been a bit too trapped in my head for movies lately, but now that the trauma fog has cleared a bit, I will probably watch another one today or tomorrow (or both).

How far away is the closest McDonald’s from your house? >> Uhh... I'm not sure of the distance, but it's no more than a 15-minute drive.

Have you ever been to a wedding? >> I have. Have you asked someone for advice today? >> I have not.

Did you ever play Habbo Hotel? >> I do not.

Have you ever been to Hawaii? >> I have not. Have you watched more than an hour of TV today? >> I haven't watched any of my shows as of yet. I don't know if I will or not, depends on what else I get up to.

Ever wake up early on Saturdays to go Garage Sale shopping? >> I have never done this. When was the last time you got a nose bleed? . How old is the mattress on your bed? >> A year old, in a couple of weeks.

Do you keep magazines by your toilet? >> There isn't space to have anything like that, but even if there were, I wouldn't. We have smartphones now, after all.

The last time you got dressed up, where did you go? >> Cabaret du Mortel.

Have you ever stolen a road sign or traffic barrier? >> I have not. I don't even know how people pull this off, lol.

Captain Crunch vs. Count Chocula: Who makes the better cereal? >> I don't like Cap'n Crunch and I've never had Count Chocula but I'm sure I wouldn't like it. So.

Would you prefer an ice cream sundae or an ice cream cone? >> Cone.

Is chapstick a necessity for you? >> Cocoa butter is. Chapsticks always have too many random ass ingredients that just irritate my lips further.

Do you watch movies with the subtitles on? >> I sure do.

[inkofamethyst]

November 2, 2023

Mmmm in the mood for some of those shortbread cookies I used to bake all the time in college. Maybe with some strawberry or blackcurrant jam. More economical (and probably healthier) than buying lofthouse cookies or oreos biweekly lol.

Bernadette Banner released another sewing video and the cape is so lovely, as is the little bag collab she has. I'm slowly getting into purses and the price is definitely steep, but I could totally save for it over time (this strategy also ensures I'm actually interested in the item rather than reacting to an influencer (even though I probably could just buy it outright, the waiting period serves an important purpose)). The other purses at that shop are just darling too. Anyway she released the video and the bag was out of stock in less than a day lol.

The dynamic contrast of Kronos Revealed (M Giacchino) brings me to tears sometimes. And I know part of it has to do with instrumentation and maybe even mixing but it's just so masterful. The Incredibles soundtrack really is something beyond. The BTAS orchestration is so amazing and has a similar nostalgic quality to it that modern superhero movies just aren't hitting (not that they need to, as style trends change across all industries, plus the settings are quite different). Music can give content so much more than an emotional route for the viewer to follow. For me, music plays such a huge role in giving a movie/show/game/video a sense of setting. When created with intention and care, it can help turn the setting into a character beyond a sandbox for the actors, I think, for me.

Today I'm thankful that we're over halfway through the semester. And, in the effort to celebrate little wins, I'm also thankful that I'm slowly but surely learning this semester, specifically from regen. While I may not be as quick with my thoughts/critiques/questions as the undergrads in that class (and I've kind of just settled into that discomfort, though I probably should put in extra effort to reach their level, I'm just putting my energy elsewhere (I wonder how long I can keep saying that "I'm adjusting")), I am taking in the information about experimental techniques! One of the postdocs in the lab gave a presentation this week, and I was able to understand a lot more about the methodology than I would have at the beginning of the semester!!! Maybe I didn't get everything, but this is progress.

Also, some rapid-fire's: Thankful that my evodevo prof extended the take home exam time via email sent exactly a minute after I woke up this morning to write three essays (that I'd previously outlined) in four hours (and while it probably would've worked [edit: lol] (I timed my sleep so well) I'm glad I didn't have to put it to the test) because I most certainly had overbooked myself this week (okay maybe these aren't going to be as rapid fire as I'd thought). Thankful for free hot apple cider and an apple donut this morning at some random event in front of my department's building on the coldest morning of the semester so far (first time having an apple donut and it was so good those people may have a repeat customer)!!!! Thankful that I don't have to care about my grades as much these days because otherwise I'd probably be spiraling after today's regen exam/quiz thing haha. ha. [edit 2, the following tuesday: I did better than I did the first exam...? feeling like this class is kinda graded on "did you try?" vibes and I don't hate it but it is certainly odd (maybe I just can't accept that I understand more than I think I do and it's just a lot of imposter syndroming)] Thankful that the postdoc I've been working with/learning from this week is a lot more chill as a person than her demeanor when evaluating other people's work initially led me to believe. Thankful that the undergrads in the lab are really cool (they know so much more than me lol)!!! And lastly, thankful that I actually got a 95, not an 89, on my anatomy midterm (even though, of course, I don't care :P) [edit: must clarify that I did not submit for a regrade bc I actually don't care enough to make the effort for that, they just did a whole-class one].

[tumblunni]

AAAAARGH I DIE

god, TMI time of the month post again fuck whoever built this nonfunctioning uterus that i never asked for like seriously doctors i’m fuckin trans and i’m not interested in having kids and IT DOESNT WORK AND IT KILLS ME why cant i get it surgery’d out...

okay so this period is EVEN WORSE than usual aaa cos its been like a year since i last failed to predict it its still painful but i can deal with the pain if i start taking my medicine immediately once i start spotting blood, before the pain starts but for the first time in ages i overslept and woke up already in Stage 2 Horror Time with blood all over my damn pants and the Pain Knives in my spinal cord and like GOD seriously i’m so mad cos i’ve been able to manage it for so long even WITH all my fail uterus’s inconsistancies! like sometimes it starts hurting before i even start bleeding, and its never the same amount of days in between cycles. I’ve been going on the 13th for a few months, then the 7th last month, now the 10th?? And this is after like TWO YEARS of having it on the 11th or 12th consistantly, so it always landed on my birthday. I had my first non crampy birthday in ages this october!

gahhhh and just seriously FUCK its so bad i get pain not just in my uterus area but also my digestive system and legs somehow?? like the bottom of my spine gets cramps and then i lose all feeling in my legs and literally cant even walk to the bathroom anymore its like that ‘periods are a mild labour’ factoid but remove the ‘mild’ and i get this symptom more than ANYTHING ELSE! the hip and back pain and the downward pain direction thing is the biggest pain of all the many pains, gahhh its its so embarassing and gross and hard to talk about cos it means Really Bad Connected Symptoms my digestion goes NUTS for a day! i don’t just gush blood but also get super nauseous and like... ‘hey lets evacuate everything you’ve ever eaten for the last two years somehow, and also 50% of your stomach acid’. Only consolation is that its usually more diarhohea than puking, but thats not much of a consolation cos its so much harder to talk about Shit Problems with your doctor, lol. Also makes the back pain even worrrrrrse! And i cant even tell when I’m about to have a diahrhea attack or when its just regular womb pain cos it covers my ENTIRE LOWER BODY SOMEHOW, like a DOUCHE

and just fuck AAAGH the worst part of waking up with the period already started is that it takes like two hours for medicine to get digested and start working, when this thing literally gives me digestion problems. I swear the pills digest way faster if i take them beforehand! so no matter what i’ve gotta sit and endure the screaming pain for that long. like its really so severe it seems like i’ve been stabbed in my spine! but i can’t even take the knife out, there’s no damn way to relieve this pain! like i’m only even able to vent this text post after almost the two hours is up, and its still really hurting so i guess its gonna take even longer today. or i should take extra pills to get over the bigger pain than usual? i even got the caffeine plus pills thatre supposed to digest faster! (plus the general lack of energy from screaming back death, i think i’ll be able to not have the no legs working bit this time)

and just GOD i havent had this so bad since high school when i was still living with my abusive dad and he ‘didnt believe in doctors’ and was like ‘every woman deals with this and they don’t complain’ but like THEY HAVE FUCKING MEDICINE, DAD imagine a very VERY young child dealing with 24 hour full-on false labour symptoms once a damn month, and how suicidal it’d make them feel! my dad would literally walk in on me screaming in a pile of my own puke in a cinema bathroom and just yell at me for ‘causing a scene’, like i somehow was able to fake this?? and why would i even want to?? ‘yeah sure wow i definately showed him, i made myself unable to watch the movie I wanted to see’ Somehow EVERYTHING I did was a conspiracy to make him lose money, in his eyes! Every symptom of me being developmentally challenged was just me faking, and even when i had a non-mental illness with clear proof right in front of him it was still fake. But oh, HE was able to be sick sometimes, yeah! and he got to go to the chiropractor for his back issues but NOOOOO they can’t be genetic and potentially act up on someone who has a lower body related thing that happens every month... fuck I was so happy when i finally managed to get to the doctor and they gave me birth control pills! even if i had to take them every day throughout the entire month and i had to fight against my dad telling me to not take my legally prescribed drugs and instead replace them with his horrible herbal remedies that made me puke and didnt work. I had to lie and pretend i was taking them, flushing one down the toilet everyday! and OH FUCK man i wish i could still take birth control tho. that was way better cos it actually stopped the period entirely, not just making it hurt less. like seriously ive just started my period and i put a pad on for like TWENTY MINUTES and it was soaked through! aspirin and ibuprofen and etc dont stop the excessively heavy bloodbath. But like apparantly the birth control i was on was bad for people over a certain weight threshhold, so when i left my dad and was able to see better doctors more often they changed me to a different one. And also diagnosed my depression and autism and thankfully finally got me some help for that! But then recently when i moved to this new house the pharmacy wasnt able to get a supply of that medicine cos its too far out in the middle of nowhere in a terrible neighbourhood. And i say ‘recently’ but i mean ‘three years ago’. So i’ve just been taking really big amounts of over the counter pain meds and probably wasting over a hundred bucks per year, yikes..

and AAAARGH it still fuckin hurts and its been like three hours now and i think its starting to hurt worse so the meds are wearing off i need to go take the next two and try and keep down a glass of water and a slice of bread without puking GahhHHHHHHHHHHhhh fuck

[din-jarhead]

Sweet

Pairing: Steven Grant x f!reader

Rating: Explicit (bye bye minors)

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings/Tags: smut, porn with a little plot, subby!Steven, soft dom!reader, loss of virginity (Steven), oral (f receiving), unprotected piv (don’t do that in real life pls), dry humping, praise kink, use of pet names (good boy, etc.), cockwarming if you squint, aftercare

A/N: Look, I… I don’t know what to say for myself. Steven does things to me and I just wanna see him beg, okay? No Moon Knight spoilers, this takes place vaguely before the events of the series, and is also not really canon compliant anyway lol.

Steven Grant is sweet. No word can better describe the man. He’s shy, kind, a bit of a disaster. You just want to wrap him up in a blanket and give him some tea.

But you also want to make him squirm.

Maybe it’s depraved, but you can’t help it. Every time you see him awkwardly wringing his hands together and trying his best to hold a conversation you imagine how he would look and sound under you, desperate and needy. You figure he’s a virgin, the way he can barely look a girl in the eye, let alone ask one on a date. But that doesn’t matter to you, you want him.

Your fantasies aren’t entirely cruel, though. Yes, you want him whining and begging, but you really just want to take care of him. You know that getting him worked up would make his release feel so much better in the end, and he deserves that. You want him to be your good boy, but you don’t know how to make it happen.

The aforementioned inability to form a coherent sentence in the presence of really anyone, let alone a beautiful woman, makes things difficult. You know he isn’t completely socially inept, he’d obviously managed to get a job and seemed to have a friend or two, but he has obviously been under a lot of stress recently. Hence your desire to help him relieve it.

You had been building up to it, slowly. You’d started by just being a friend. You made sure to be patient with him whenever he stumbled over a word, giving him an encouraging smile when you passed him at work.

You moved up to having the occasional lunch together, allowing him to control the conversation, or lack thereof. You didn’t mind sitting in silence with him, if that’s what made him comfortable.

After a few weeks, you’re having lunch most days, enjoying casual conversation. You can still see the stress on his face and in his eyes, but it doesn’t seem to be stemming from having to interact with you.

You decide it might be time to take the leap.

“Steven?” He was zoned out, you’d hit a pause in the conversation and his mind had wandered elsewhere. You get his attention, reminding him that someone else was there.

His eyes refocus, landing on your face. He doesn’t quite make eye contact still, but he makes an effort.

“Sorry, was just thinking.”

“That’s okay, I just have a question for you” you reply, trying to keep your tone casual.

His brow furrows, confusion evident on his gorgeous face. You’d been shocked when you first met him that everyone wasn’t falling all over themselves to get a date with this man, he was so pretty. Even though he dressed in clothes that were too big for him and never remotely matched, you could tell he had a great body and his face was like a Greek god. Then you’d had a conversation with him and understood why most people wouldn’t want to put in the effort of getting him out of his shell.

You take his silence as a cue to continue.

“I was just wondering if you might want to get dinner or a drink or something after work.”

“Oh, yes that would be nice, do you mean— is this… I mean—“

You smile at his hesitance, clearly trying to figure out if this was a date or not but not sure how to ask.

“Yes like a date, Steven” you explain, seeing his expression change from worried to relieved.

“Okay, good, yeah. Dinner sounds good. I don’t really drink so… yeah dinner.”

“Great, I’ll meet you at the gift shop when your shift ends?” You pick up your bag and stand, making your way back to work.

“Okay” he practically whispers, looking dazed and clearly processing what has just happened.

“Okay, see you later, Steven” you reply cheerfully, also excited for the evening.

The rest of the work day feels unbearably long, but you get through it and it’s finally 7, the end of your shift and time to meet Steven. You make your way to the gift shop, waiting quietly as Steven finishes with his last customer. He was thankfully not late or otherwise a frustration for Donna today and did not have to do inventory.

When the customer leaves, Steven looks over and sees you, his face lighting up. You give him a small wave, and he grabs his bag and walks to you. He has both hands holding tightly to the strap of his bag, clearly nervous but not unhappy.

“Hiya” he gives you a tight-lipped smile.

Since you were done working, you’ve unbuttoned your shirt a bit, and you see Steven’s eyes fall briefly to your more exposed chest, which is exactly what you’d hoped for.

“Ready to go?” Steven nods. “There’s a great place near my flat that has a lot of vegan options, it’s really good but also a casual atmosphere, you wanna go there?”

“Sounds lovely.” Steven’s face flushes a bit, seemingly catching on to the implications of you mentioning the proximity to your place.

You make your way to the restaurant, chatting about your days as you walk. You fortunately get a table tucked away in the corner, not too close to anyone else so you can talk without feeling surrounded by strangers. You and Steven have a wonderful conversation, he’s very excited to talk with you about Egyptian mythology, and you love the way his face lights up when you ask him questions. When the check comes Steven insists on paying, adding to your increasing anticipation of getting him back to your flat.

When you walk out of the restaurant, Steven seems unsure if the evening is about to be over or not. You hold his hand, fingers lacing with his, and he looks at you hopefully.

“Would you like to come back to my place?” You ask, not bothering to think of a reason for inviting him there since you both know what you really meant.

His breath hitches.

“Yeah. Please.” He nods quickly.

The walk to your place is quick, as intended, and soon you’re sitting on your couch next to Steven, letting your thigh brush against his.

His nerves had clearly gone up exponentially, and you can tell he wants to say something.

“Everything okay?” You ask gently, wanting to make sure he really wanted this and he didn’t feel pressured.

“Yeah, I want to do this, trust me” he emphasizes, eyes scaling your body, “I’ve just, um… I haven’t ever, you know…” he trails off, his gaze dropping to the floor.

“I don’t care about that, Steven. Just follow my lead and let me know if anything makes you uncomfortable okay? I’ll take care of you. Will you be a good boy for me? Let me make you feel good?” You move one hand to his knee.

He whimpers a little at your words, nodding slowly.

“I need you to use your words, love.”

“Yes, yes I’ll be good” Steven manages, swallowing thickly as we waits for your next move.

“Good. Just say stop if there’s anything you don’t like, okay? We’ll start slow. Can I kiss you?” You had moved your hand further up his thigh, rubbing soft circles with your thumb.

Steven nods, then remembers to use his words, good boy, and takes a steadying breath.

“Yes.”

You move your unoccupied hand to his face, pulling him toward you. Steven’s eyes flutter closed as he leans in to press his lips to yours.

The kiss is a little awkward and stiff right at first, but Steven quickly gets the hang of things and lets himself relax into it. After a moment you coax his mouth open with your tongue and he follows your lead, licking into your mouth with hunger.

His hands had at some point moved to your hips, pulling you closer to him. It isn’t quite close enough, yet, so you shift, planting one knee on either side of his hips and straddling his lap. That earns you another small whimper, which sounds even better than you had imagined.

With some effort, Steven breaks the kiss, sliding his hands upward slightly to the hem of your shirt. “Can I—?” He looks up at you hopefully, small creases forming on his brow as he searches for an answer.

You can’t stop yourself from moving a hand to his face again, gently smoothing those little creases with your thumb.

“Yes, baby, of course” Steven sighs, crashing his lips to yours again as he allows his hands to slip up and under your top. His hands find your breasts, touching with hesitance at first but then becoming more greedy. When his thumbs brush over your nipples, your hips grind into his slightly, causing him to buck up against you.

He’s already painfully hard, and you can feel the impressive size of him through his trousers.

You move your lips down his neck and your hands to his chest as Steven decides you no longer need your top, and unbuttons it the rest of the way. You shrug it off your shoulders, letting it fall to the ground behind you.

You can feel how fit his body is through his shirt, confirming your suspicions.

You suck a mark into his neck, causing him to groan and buck his hips again, getting more desperate.

He moves his hands back down to your hips, trying to pull you against him more, but you resist.

“Patience, sweet boy. No need to rush”

He whines— finally, beautifully. Just hearing the sound you’d been dreaming of for so long sends a wave of arousal through you, breaking through your facade of dominance and allowing your own desperation to seep through.

You stop kissing him abruptly, causing that soft crease to form again on his face, and stand.

“I think it’s time to move to the bedroom, yes?” You ask, grabbing his hand and encouraging him to stand as well.

“Yeah” he rasps, then clears his throat, “yes I agree.”

You make the short journey to your bedroom, watching as Steven’s eyes scan your belongings to assess your more hidden personality.

You remove the rest of your clothing quickly, refocusing Steven’s attention solely on you, and help him to do the same.

His length is as impressive as you had felt earlier, throbbing and neglected.

You lay on the bed, legs spread to invite him to you.

He crawls onto the bed, but stops short of where you had expected him, hands resting on your legs and eyes locked on your center.

“Fuck— you’re so wet, love. Can I taste you? Please? I don’t know if I’m any good but I’ll do whatever you tell me. I just want to so badly.” He rambles, asking so earnestly for something you’d never refuse him.

“Of course, sweet boy. Don’t think too hard about doing it right, just do what feels good and I’ll tell you if you should do something different” you instruct, carding your hand through his hair to encourage him toward where you need him.

He places a kiss on your stomach first, something no one else has ever done before. You’re not exactly sure why he does, but it feels like he’s claiming you, acknowledging the parts of your body that don’t explicitly serve a purpose for his pleasure.

He then moves downward, licking a broad stripe through your folds. Encouraged by the sound you make when he does that, he continues exploring you with his tongue, finding your clit quickly and circling it.

“You’re— fuck— you’re doing so well, Steven. Stay right there, if you just, just suck—“ you cut yourself off with a moan as he follows your instructions, wrapping his lips around your sensitive bud and applying just the right amount of pressure.

You’re basically babbling now, a string of good boys and other praises flowing from you as he gets more confident in his ministrations. Your words clearly have an effect on him, you can hear his little grunts of pleasure as you talk.

You see his hand move down the front of his body, wrapping around his weeping cock to relieve some pressure, but you can’t have that.

“Steven, no touching without permission. Don’t want you getting yourself too worked up, do we?” You try to use your most stern tone, but it doesn’t come out quite as firm as you’d hoped in your state of arousal.

He lifts his head briefly, eyes wide.

“M’sorry, it’s just— shit, you feel so good I couldn’t help it”

“It’s okay, love, just don’t do it again or I might have to restrain those pretty arms” you tease as he returns his mouth to your cunt, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. The groan Steven makes lets you know that he definitely liked the sound of your little threat. Next time.

You’re so close now, for his first time Steven’s enthusiasm has definitely gotten him far, you just need a little more. You encourage him to use his fingers, telling him how to curl them the right way to hit that one spot inside you.

Once he does that, you’re barreling toward your release, clamping down on him hard.

“That’s it, good boy. Don’t— oh— please don’t stop I’m gonna fucking cum, yes yes yes—“ you hit your peak and lose the ability to form a coherent sentence, practically screaming Steven’s name and holding onto his hair for dear life.

He continues to lick you slowly as you come down, stopping only when you tell him it’s too much.

You drag him back up to your face, kissing him desperately and tasting yourself on him.

“Was that good?” He asks as you pull away, seemingly genuinely unsure as if you hadn’t just had one of the best orgasms of your life.

“Yes, oh my god baby yes that was amazing, I knew you’d be good at that” his face lights up at your praise, and he unconsciously bucks his hips again, and you can feel how hard and desperate his cock is for some attention.

You push his shoulders to encourage him to flip, his back hitting the bed and you straddling his hips again.

You start to grind your dripping cunt over his length, causing Steven to gasp and drop his head back onto the pillows.

“What do you want, sweet boy? You wanna fuck me?” You ask, tone almost mocking.

“Yes, yes please I need to feel you” he rasps, fingers digging into your hips as he tries to move you onto his cock.

You decide to push him just a little more, make him complete putty in your hands.

“I don’t know, I’m not sure you really mean it. If you want to fuck me, beg for it. Be a good boy and let me hear how desperate you are for me” you lean down to say the last sentence right in his ear, nibbling the lobe then pulling back to see the wrecked look on his face.

"Please-- I need you. I need to be inside you, please I'll do anything you ask. Just let me fuck you darling" He begs for you, whimpering and practically gasping for air, pleading for you to give him some relief.

This is what you wanted, all the thoughts in his pretty little head completely replaced with need, totally consumed by you.

“What a good boy, asking so nicely for me. Of course you can fuck me baby, wanna make you feel good” you soothe, bringing your lips to his again as you lift your hips and gently take his cock in your hand to notch it at your entrance.

As you sink down on him, you both moan, and you can feel him throbbing as he fills you all the way.

Even after he got you ready he’s still a stretch, and you wonder if he really knows how well-endowed he is.

“You’re so big, love, you fill me up so well.” Steven seems to have lost all ability to form words, as the only response you get is a stifled moan and his hands gripping you a little tighter.

You start to move, lifting your hips up and down slowly, knowing that if you went too fast things could be over pretty quickly given how worked up you’d gotten him.

You feel Steven’s hands trying to pull you down onto him quicker, and he finally whimpers a small “please,” asking you to go faster.

You decide to let him set the pace.

“That’s it sweet boy, take what you need” you encourage, and he starts rocking into you quickly, at just the right angle to hit the spot inside you that works you up quickly to another release.

You’re glad to be close again because you can feel Steven’s rhythm faltering, clearly not able to hold out much longer.

You consider making him slow down, seeing how far you could push him, but you decide that’s probably too much right now, and you just want him to feel good.

“You getting close, love? I can feel you. Don’t stop, I’m close too, want you to cum with me” you say softly, mouthing along his neck and nipping at his jaw between words.

Without having to be asked, Steven moves a hand to the front of you, circling your clit with his thumb, which is just what you need to fall over the edge again.

You place your forehead against his, as your cunt clamps down around his cock, and you feel him throb and release inside you, as he chants your name like a prayer, over and over.

You both tremble as you recover, Steven’s hands maintaining their bruising hold on your hips.

You brush his hair back, damp with sweat and sticking to his face.

He looks up at you with awe.

You move to lift off of him, not wanting to overstimulate him, but he doesn’t release you.

“Stay, please. Just for a bit longer?”

“Of course sweet boy, whatever you need” you whisper as he hugs you close to him.

He eventually lets you go so you can clean him and yourself up, and you take your time with aftercare, whispering more praise and making sure to keep touching him throughout, as he seems to need skin-to-skin contact the most.

You end up back in bed, your back to him as he holds you close.

“Are you okay, Steven? Was that what you had hoped for?” You ask, feeling sleep creeping in but wanting to check in one more time.

“No, it was better. Definitely better. Thank you.” He softly kisses the back of your head, allowing himself to fall asleep, feeling completely relaxed for the first time in weeks.

Tags: @mswarriorbabe80