#you can do anything you want forever as long as you're not a coward

[yusuke-of-valla]

Do you wanna discuss Future Past at all?

Sure! I can't promise much it's been a while since I watched it but I do really like it!

I actually think one really nice thing about Awakening is it's willingness to stretch the genre beyond a relatively straightforward fantasy war story (with some political intrigue here and there depending on the game) to incorporate a post-apocalypse and a terminator-esque time travel story

I'm not saying I want the fire emblem in space game (I do want this only because I think it would be very funny how mad people would get) but I do kinda wish they'd get a little weirder. Be a little silly with it.

[uranometrias]

nobody ever loved me like you do, spencer reid

just a little prompt i couldn't get out of my head. this is majority fluff, it got kind of heavy towards the end, but no smut because i'm a coward, reader is a university student, there's an age gap between reader + spencer, unspecified, but reader is over 22. based off of 'pov' by ariana grande.

this absolutely got long as shit, i don't know how to be normal. (5.6k wrds)

"what's on your mind?" you hadn't realized you'd gone quiet until you feel the dip of the couch. it takes a moment to snap out of the little moment you've dug yourself into, but when you do you're pleasantly surprised to see your boyfriend on the couch next to you. he grabs hold of the book you'd haphazardly discarded, and flips it over. you imagine internally he's tsking at you, he was always reminding you to be careful of the spine of the books you read, but you're happy he doesn't make a move to scold you about it now. instead, he closes it, and places it in his lap, letting his eyes trace all over your pretty face.

"is everything okay?" he prods, and in truth, you were fine. you didn't really know why you'd gotten so lost in your head, it just happened sometimes. domesticity was still fairly new, and despite the fact that your relationship with spencer had gotten to the point where you both were comfortable staying at each other's places for long periods of time, you still kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. spencer was the first guy you'd been with that was older, already established, had a 'big boy job' as you so eloquently labeled it. he had security.

not that you were some lazy, unprepared individual letting your life slip by, but you were still figuring things out. you were in university, and you had big dreams and hopes for your future, it just felt like it was taking forever to get there. to your future. everyone was always telling you not to wish away your youth, but by law you were no longer a child, you hadn't been for a while. your twenties were meant to be for 'figuring things out', finding yourself all over again, or that's what you were always hearing. over time it felt easier said than done.

the point was when you were still uncertain about what you wanted to spend the rest of your life doing, it was hard to feel grown up. especially when you had a boyfriend like spencer who was always doing something to raise the bar for humanity. he was a genius, he worked for one of the most prestigious units in the fbi, he was in the fbi... that in itself was an accomplishment. he had phds, bachelor degrees, and an extensive knowledge of literature in numerous languages and texts. to top it all off, he really was a great boyfriend.

you supposed it was just you feeling a bit insecure. you didn't believe that he expected too much of you, but that didn't stop you from putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. "everything's fine." you promise, and you tack on a warm smile to really sell it. the action triggers an involuntary smile from spencer, and you feel a bit faint, just because he's so pretty. "i was just watching you read." you admit, and it was true, you had gotten a bit lost in how quickly spencer was speeding through his own book. it didn't trigger insecurity, it just left you in awe at how absurdly lucky you were to have bagged spencer.

"yeah?" and he's got this edge to his voice that he usually gets when he's tired, sleepy, content. it was comforting, knowing that he was comfortable being here, like this with you. "are you sure that you're alright?" and he's leaning forward, hand cupping your cheek as he rubs his thumb over your jaw, and you lean into him. "you know you can talk to me about anything." he adds, and he's perceptive. you're certain that part of this has to do with his job, and the other part has a lot to do with the fact that he knows you so well.

"i know." you answer instantly, and you bring your hand up to hold over top his. "trust me, i know. that's why i like you so much." you beam brightly, and you lean in and press a quick kiss to his lips. it's a peck, and it sounds like one with the way that your lips smack together. you note his disappointment when you pull away just as he moved to kiss you a bit more fiercely. you find yourself giggling a bit as he pouts at you, and you lean in to offer him another kiss.

"like?" he asks, and you know he's fishing, but for what you're not sure. his eyes never look as bright as they do when he's sitting across from you. it offers you a bit of an ego boost to know that someone as handsome as your spencer consistently looks so enamored and enraptured with you. "i thought that we were a little past like..." he says, and your nose scrunches up at his big doe-eyed stare. "am i wrong about that?" and he holds his breath.

"no, you're right." you promise, and he relaxes. "we're past that." spencer looks relieved, and you wonder sometimes what's going on in his mind. he doesn't say anything for a while, he just looks at you, his thumb continues to draw soothing circles on your face, and you think you might be convinced to fall asleep if he keeps it up. "i'm sorry." you offer, and spencer's immediately shaking his head at you.

"don't apologize." he presses, and he's peeling his hand away from your face. now it's your turn to be disappointed. "and if you don't feel like we're past the 'i like yous'... that's okay too." and he looks sad now. it's your least favorite expression on him, and you wonder if you've done something wrong. "i don't want you to feel like you're rushing yourself, okay? or like you're forcing yourself to feel anything that you don't." he says, and your eyebrows furrow inward, face contorting.

"i don't feel that way." you deny sternly. spencer's head tips to the side, curls following along, and the urge to run your hands through his hair almost chokes you out. "spencer, i don't feel that way." you reiterate, and you hate that his expression doesn't change. you hate that he looks like he doesn't believe you. "i have too many feelings for you." you admit, and you shake your head. "all of the feelings." you insist, and the problem is that you haven't managed to fully verbalize what that means. spencer's told you that he loves you, often.

you haven't managed to say it back, but not because you don't believe it. it's more so out of worry that once you tell him, things will get too real. you'll grow too comfortable, and by-proximity expose parts of yourself that spencer might not be ready for. things that'll make him run for the hills, and take his sweet i love yous with him. "that's a lot of feelings." spencer replies, and he sighs deep, chest moving with the action. you smile, mostly to ward off the tension.

he doesn't return it, and you suddenly feel anxious. "do you want-" he trails off, and he looks conflicted. "if you wanted to break up..." and your heart sinks. "you would tell me, wouldn't you?" he asks, and you immediately reach out for him, his hands curling into yours as you interlock your fingers. you want to slam your head into a wall, mostly for worrying him in this way. The last thing you'd been thinking about was a breakup, in fact, you'd finally resided yourself to the fact that you were in this relationship as long as spencer wanted you.

"do you think that's what this is about?"

"isn't it?" his quick retort makes you frown, and now you're facing one another with matching pouts. "i just want you to trust me with your feelings... all of them." he explains. "even the ones i might not enjoy the most." he treads lightly, and you find that there's nobody in the world who could matter more to you. "and i'm sorry if i haven't been doing enough to let you know that." and you huff in annoyance, but not with him. never with him. with yourself for overthinking.

"you've got it all wrong." you tell him, and you hope your words sound as definitive as they feel. "a breakup is the farthest thing from my mind." you shuffle a bit on the couch, mostly to invade the space he just took. you don't stop moving until he's back in your orbit, your knees brushing against his leg. "i've never met anyone like you before." and it feels cliche, but you suppose you've earned the right to quote the words, because they're true. "i think as far as expectations for boyfriends go, you managed to smash through them all."

spencer finds himself nervous under the onslaught of kind words. he can't look away from you though, because it's so rare when you let him into your head. despite all his profiling skills, you were still almost completely a mystery. he understood your physical cues, but the emotional ones were still hard to pinpoint. "i think sometimes i still keep waiting for you to realize how amazing you are..." and he has that annoying feeling of giddiness in his stomach. it feels childish, but he adores the rush loving you continues to give him.

"i think i'm a little aware." he says, and you laugh. your hands reach out, and now you're the one holding his face. he thinks it's a comfort thing of yours, the way you like to hold onto him when you're talking. his apprehension towards touch was no match for the way your hands on his face brought him a feeling of comfort like nothing else.

"and you still want to be with me?" you ask, and you don't sound bashful, more confused than anything else. spencer's confusion soon matches your own, his eyebrows furrowing as he recites your words over and over in his head. what sort of question was that? "i just mean that there's so many types of women out there... you work with so many." and your mind drifts to his closeness with the girls he worked with in the fbi. namely jennifer jareau.

you'd only met her a few times, you knew she was married with sons, but you couldn't shake the thought that if she wanted him she could have him. she was older, more confident, disastrously pretty. "i just don't understand why someone like you would want to be with someone like me." you express, and spencer is flabbergasted. he forces you to peel your hands from his face, instead choosing to hold your hands and squeeze them gingerly.

"someone like you?" and he wants you to get it all out, every last bit of it, mostly so that he can correct every incorrect notion about yourself that you expose.

"someone who's immature, naive, inexperienced, uncertain about almost every major decision... you know? someone like me." you divulge, and he winces. "you've got so much going for you, i just don't want you to feel like i'm holding you back." you admit. "so when i saw you reading... i don't know-" you trail off, and spencer's eyes shoot across the room to his own discarded book. "i guess i just remembered how incredible you are, and how severely inadequate i must be in comparison." and your voice gets quieter as you finish.

"you could never hold me back." he states firmly. "and even more than that... i don't think it's actually possible for someone to really hold you back." he admits, and you feel him beginning to start on a tangent, though you don't mind. they were far and few in between these days. "to me it always seemed more like an excuse people use to place blame on someone else for their shortcomings." spencer's let go of your hands, and you watch them as he gestures boisterously. "for everything i'm good at, there's so many areas where i fall short."

you don't think you've ever loved him more.

"and who says phd's and fast reading skills are what make a person better suited or fit for anything?" and he knows that you want to rebuttal, so he continues so you don't get the chance to. "my skills help me with the job that i do... we can agree that's true, right?" he asks, and you nod your head. "right. but, you don't want to have my job, do you?" he asks, and your nose curls up. you thought that what spencer did was admirable, you loved celebrating the victories with him, you knew it was important, but you don't think you had it in you.

"no, i guess not." you disagree.

"and you don't need to be called 'doctor' or hold a gun, or kick down doors, in order to be... a suitable life partner."

"you're not kicking down any doors, spencer." you crack a joke, and you like that he laughs, it's the kind that morphs into a toothy smile.

"maybe not, i just mean that out of the two of us, you're not the one who needs to worry about not being adequate... i don't think there's anything in existence that would make me not want to be with you." and you feel bashful, but know full well that you can't pull your eyes away from him. "you're a lot to lose." he exhales, and you blink. "and you don't need doctorates or much of anything for that to be the case." spencer beams a little bit, "you captivate people without even realizing it sometimes." spencer's hand moves to rest on your thigh.

"you think so?"

"sometimes i try and figure out how i got so lucky, and i hope that i keep doing whatever it takes to make you stay." he admits. "does that make sense?" he asks, and you feel your heart wanting to burst out of your chest.

"it makes a lot of sense." you agree. "and i can guarantee that as long as you want me, you'll have me." you promise.

"and if i want you forever?" he asks, and you smile despite yourself.

"then i guess you're stuck with me forever, doctor reid." and he likes the thought a lot more than he anticipated. he thinks that's why he can't ignore the urge to kiss you. he leans forward, lips overtaking yours like a magnet being pulled towards a kindred force. you almost pounce, finding yourself rooted on top of his lap, fingers finally finding solace in his hair, as his hands scope out your waist and the curve of your hips.

you hum when his lips peel away from yours, landing on your neck as he peppered the space with kisses and small bites. kissing spencer was a surefire way to get you both started down a path of insatiability. it was dangerous, but you supposed with the conversation context in mind, it made perfect sense for this to be the end result. still, it feels like there's more to say, and you suppose that it's why you tighten your hold on his hair just slightly, craning your neck to give him all the access he needs. "spence?" you gasp.

he doesn't verbally acknowledge you, instead his arms loop around you, bringing you closer as he proceeds to leave hickeys in areas that would be much too difficult to hide. "spence..." you try again.

"i'm listening." he promises before he's placing a kiss just behind your ear. it makes you squirm, suddenly feeling lightheaded as his grip on your waist tightens slightly.

"can you tell me again?" you ask, and you don't want to ruin the moment, especially after he just sweetly poured his heart out to you. "tell me how you feel about me..." you instruct a bit more impatiently. spencer's more interested in leaving more marks on your skin, but he also enjoys the vulnerability that comes with expressing himself to you. he pulls away from your neck with one last peck, before his lust-filled gaze is locked on yours. you've taken to raking your nails through his hair, gently dragging against his scalp.

"you still don't know?" he asks, and part of you thinks he's doing this on purpose. it's not until you register the slight upturn of his lips that you recognize that he's teasing you.

"is it so bad that i want to hear it again?" you press, and you're feeling a bit impatient, mostly because you're itching to finally spit the three word phrase out, but you want him to say it first.

"no." he denies, head shaking. "it's not bad at all, and i don't mind telling you, but, can you ask me the right way?" and you feel the shift, the way his fingers finally slip under your shirt. it makes you jump, the way his fingertips trace over the skin of your lower back. "what are you fishing for, pretty girl?" you don't have the courage to stare at him anymore, instead you find your head glued to his chest, eyes squeezed shut, as your arms looped around him.

"i'm not fishing." you deny, and spencer presses a swift kiss to the top of your head. despite the desire to 'get to the good part' that you know you both feel, you still enjoy this part. the clinginess, the way he showered you in attention and affection that you had never believed yourself worthy of. he loved you so openly, so easily. it never felt like a burden, it never felt like something he had to try too hard at. you liked that, you liked that he made falling in love so easy.

"no?" he doesn't sound convinced. "what are you hoping i'll say then? i know you have an idea." he says and his chin is resting on the top of your head as he adjusts you on his lap. the tension still rests in the air, but he's holding you like he's comforting you almost, arms looped around you in an almost-hug that feels warm and comfortable and familiar. it's the kind that you could get lost in, fall asleep in. maybe you will, just as soon as you get through this last little emotional hoop.

"you don't know everything."

"did i say that?" he corrects you lowly, he's not impatient with you, and you wonder how long it took him to garner enough stamina to keep up with your sass.

"no." you deny, and he hums in agreement. you've taken to running your hands up and down his back, palms closing and opening as you try and quiet your anxiety. "i want to hear you say that you love me again." you admit, and it feels like a lump is forming in your throat. "i know that you do." you add a second after. "but sometimes i like to hear it anyway..." you clear your throat. "it makes me feel-" and you trail off, because you haven't really gotten over this hurdle.

spencer's smiling, and you know that he is, because as much as he knows you, you think you know him a little bit too. "how does it make you feel?" he asks, and you shake your head, eliciting an amused sort of exhale. "you can tell me anything." he reminds you, and of course you know that. "or we could move on... if it's too much to say right now." he offers you an out like the gentleman he always has been. "do you want to go back to before?" and you definitely want to kiss him.

maybe do a bit more than kiss.

"yes." you agree, but when it seems like he's about to move, you hold him even tighter to you. "wait, no." you deny, and he's exhaling through his nose. you cringe, because you know that sometimes you can be indecisive, but you think about what he'd told you earlier. you remind yourself that he wanted you, and you calm down. "i want to kiss you again." you start, and he doesn't say anything, because he knows you're not finished. "but i want to finish our conversation first." you huff, and he's surprised, in a pleasant sort of way.

"we can do that." he promises, "what do you want to tell me?"

"i like when you tell me that you love me." you admit, and you think it's good that you're not looking at him. you also like that he's still lightly dragging his fingers along your waist, it makes you shy, but you welcome it. "it's not something that you just tell everyone, so i like that you tell me, even though i haven't said it back." you feel like you're losing your breath as you rush to get it out. "and i like how what you said earlier makes me feel."

"how's that?" and spencer is spencer. he likes to drag things like this out, he likes for you to elaborate, to explain yourself. you suppose he likes to hear you just as much as you like to hear him.

"i don't know how to express it really, but it feels nice. 'cause you always sound like you mean it when you say it." you freeze when his fingers stop their slow journey, but you don't have time to focus on that right now. "not like butterflies, but it's like stabilizing." you shrug your shoulders. "and it's not the sort of thing that feels like it comes with some sort of price. like i don't hear it, and think 'oh he's only saying this because he wants to sleep with me', it doesn't-" you inhale. "it doesn't make me anxious or anything."

spencer's disappointed that his memory mostly works for things he's seen rather than heard, because he wants to relive this conversation for the rest of his life. it's a bit unheard of, especially in his lifetime. he's seen people in love, he's witnessed incredible relationships, but nothing he's seen has ever compared to the way that you manage to make him feel. he's had girlfriends, one-night-stands, experimentations, and things in between that felt like they could be the real thing, eventually. being with you though feels easy.

even when things go wrong, when you're too stubborn to communicate, and he's too tired to fight for you to, it still feels easy. like the struggles that come with your relationship are struggles he's willing to deal with. you're someone he's willing to deal with.

"it makes me want to stay." you offer, and it's scary, mostly because you've got the world's worst habit of running away when things get too real. you packed your bags at the first inconvenience, it was who you were, who you had been before spencer. you didn't stick around to fight for your relationships, you didn't let anyone fight for you either. "like... like even if things go horribly wrong, it'll still be okay as long as you still sound like you mean it when you say i love you."

you don't think you'll cry, but you do think once you're all finished, you'll want to stay wrapped up in him like this.

"i've just never met anyone that makes life make so much sense." and your leg is slightly shaking, and you're burrowing even deeper into his chest, holding him just a bit tighter. "so please... can you tell me again?" you ask, and your hands have taken fistfuls of his shirt, curling just slightly as you try and will your heartbeat to slow.

"you all done?" he asks, and you nod your head, all done with talking for now. "i'm so proud of you." and your confusion is back, as well as your ability to talk.

"what for?" you inquire, and he unloops his arms from around you. you don't want to move, but you know where this is going. still, you decide you'll wait until he asks you.

"can you look at me, please?" he asks quietly, and you're immediately pulling back, hands in your lap as you take in all the emotions resting on your boyfriend's face.

"oh, spence!" and you hope he's not about to cry. you've never been privy to it, but you can imagine what it'll do to you in your emotionally high state. "i know that was a lot, i'm sorry." you apologize despite the fact that you've done nothing wrong, a bad habit.

"please don't ever apologize for something like that." he corrects you gently. "i'm proud, because i can imagine how hard that likely was, but you did it anyway, so thank you for sharing how you're feeling with me." you look away just for a second, the moment feeling too heavy for you to manage. you're looking back at him just a moment after, his stare something you've always been terrible at ignoring and avoiding. "would it be a let down if i told you that i feel the same way about you?" he asks, and you wonder if this phase ever ends.

you don't want to wake up one day and find that your smile no longer reaches your eyes when you look at him, or hear his voice.

"no." you answer quietly. "i like when you agree with me, especially about your feelings for me." and it's a small joke, one you partially mean. "but, you still haven't told me that you love me, yet." you remind him a bit more sternly than you have been.

"i know." he retorts, and he looks a bit smug. you want to say that you hate when he gets like this, but you know you're lying. "i'm waiting to see how long it'll take you to crack." he admits, and your nose curls. he beams at you, and you want to glare, just for the fun of it. "why are you determined not to say it first?" he asks, and you cross your arms over your chest, busted.

"you don't know what's in my head." you instead argue, and his eyes roll, but he still seems amused. "i can say it first if i very well wish." you add, and his eyebrows raise, a challenge. unlucky for you, because you had a problem with being challenged. you would always walk right into his trap like a fool.

"so then say it." he taunts, and you realize pride is one hell of a killer.

"fine, i will." you retort, voice laced in mock-aggravation. "i love you." you deadpan, you say it like it's a bother. "happy now?"

"not with that attitude. can you try again? say it like you mean it?" he presses, and you're weaker in the knees than you initially believed. all your bravado goes right out the window, and you're suddenly anxious again, with no bite to curb your words, you're certain he'll hear every ounce of emotion you feel towards him if you say it again.

"spence." you exclaim, and he's not moved. you think you hate him just a little. "it's not fair, you're being mean." you express, looking down at your lap, and you know that you're only behaving this way because you're overwhelmed.

"i'm not." he promises, and he ducks just a little so that you're looking directly at him again. "i wouldn't be, especially not about this." he adds. "i just want you to say it again for me, can you do that? please?" he asks, and you hate how absurdly handsome he is sitting across from you. he's got this way of looking innocent even when he's baiting you, and he's always got this intensity in his stare that's enough to knock the wind out of you. it's kryptonite, and precisely why you concede.

"spencer, i love you." he groans, quietly, but you hear him all the same. he's kissing you before you can react, and it's easy getting lost in moments like these. he always kisses you like he's trying to swallow you whole, too handsy for his own good. his kisses are desperate, tongue swiping out just slightly, likely to test the waters. you match his ferocity, and let your own tongue drag over his bottom lip before you press a bit more forcibly, hurriedly, desperately.

"i love you." you don't know why you're saying it again, but it's not as hard as the first time. you kiss him again, grumbling when he's quick to lean out of reach. you shoot him a sour glance, and he's not moved.

"hey, i love you too." he echoes you in the most love sick sort of way. it feels precisely as you had described it earlier, and that makes you happier. the fact that the feelings didn't change, didn't disappear all because you'd said the three words back. you hum contentedly, and then your head is back on his chest, listening to the steady thrum of his heartbeat. "does it still sound like i mean it?" he asks, he questions you softly, like he's trying to preserve the moment.

"mhm." you answer quietly, and you strain to kiss his throat once, before your back to resting against him. "did it sound like i meant it?" you mimic his line of questioning, and you're happy when his arms are back around you. he's a lot more respectable this time around, but before long, his hands are finding their chosen place back under your shirt, exploring your waist and hips as you try not to squirm.

"yes." he replies, and you're glad to hear it. "can you say it again?" you suppose in the grand scheme, you do have lots to make up for. he'd probably want you to say it over and over again.

"i love you." it's instantaneous, as is the way spencer's hold on you grows more firm. you hadn't wanted to mention it, the way sitting here like this with him had you itching for more, but it seemed you weren't the only one in that headspace. "spence?" you question, and he's dragging his hand up and down your back, legs starting to bounce just slightly.

"yeah?"

"can we go back to before now?" you ask, and you expect him to be a tease. he could never just give you what you wanted, he always had to drag it out, and make you nervous.

"back to before?" he pries, and he's leading. you huff audibly, and you adjust yourself on his lap, trying to control the way the pit in your stomach seemed to grow warm, heating you up from the inside. "you'll have to be a bit more specific than that, love." he tsks, and you hate him.

"i just-" you frown, hating this part. "i want you." you deadpan. "and you know that, so i don't know why you're being like this." except you do, because it's amusing to spencer to watch you get all flustered and nervous. you don't know why, but it's how he is. you think that one day you'll try your hand at flustering him back, just to see what all the hype is about. "i want you to-" and you're not sure exactly what counts for too blunt with a boyfriend like spencer. "let's f-fuck, okay?" and spencer's got that stupid amused look on his face again.

god, you hate him.

"that wasn't too hard was it?" he questions, and you cut your eyes. you're certain he'll make you pay for the looks, and the smart mouth down the line, but you can't care right now.

"it was excruciating." you correct haughtily. "you should be ashamed of yourself for treating the girl that you love this way." you add, and spencer's got his bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he takes you in. you gulp, shuffling just slightly as you realize precisely the predicament you've gotten yourself into.

"do you want me to make it up to you?" he asks, and he sounds breathier than before, which only serves to make you more of a hot-and-bothered mess.

"i-" you blink owlishly, unsure of his intentions.

"yes or no?" he presses, and you think either way this goes, your done for. "you've just got to say the word."

"yes." head nodding, eyes blown to hell, it's easy enough. "you should. you definitely should." you respond, and then he's kissing you again. he's much more intense this time, stealing all of the air out of your lungs as his nails scratch against your skin, you hands moving to cup his face, you hope to keep him anchored to you this way. when he breaks from the kiss again, you're ready to lay into him, only to squeak when he scoops you up, standing up from the chair.

your legs immediately lock around his hips, and you're panting already, he seemed to have that constant effect. all it took was a little kissing, and you were already a mess. "i love you." he says this like it's a reminder, and you are quick to chase his mouth with your own. you could say you were a bit obsessed with the act.

"i know." you reply, and his eyes roll at you, but he still looks as love sick as you feel.

"good. i'm going to need you to remember that, because when we get to the bed, i'm going to do a lot of things that might make you think the opposite." he says this like a definitive promise, and you gasp. "do you understand?" he asks, and you're shivering, the anticipation already managing to strike you down.

"yeah-yes!" you stutter. "i understand, it's okay." you add. spencer's already got this look of pride residing in his eyes, and you know that you're in for it, silly you for thinking love confessions would be enough to get you out of all the backtalk and clear attitude. "i'm ready!" you insist like the eager girl you are.

"we'll see." he retorts.

god, you love him.

[starlitmelanin]

she tries to get over her crush on her childhood best friend jude by trying to set him up with other people. recipe for disaster, actually.🥴

no good deed | jude bellingham

pairing - jude x fem!reader

word count - 1.1k

warnings - none

it starts with lily.

lily is near perfect. she's smart, funny, doesn’t have the slightest clue about football — but, she’s sweet enough.

you figure, if you can get jude to fall for someone like lily, you can convince your heart to calm the hell down. you're not sure of the logic there, but it makes sense at 2 am when you're staring at the ceiling, wondering why you're such an idiot.

"hey jude," you say one evening, as he jumps to sit on your bathroom counter, while you do your skin care routine before bed. "what do you think about lily?"

he looks at you, eyebrows raised. "lily? she's cool, i guess. why?"

you try to sound casual. "i dunno, just thought you two might get along."

he shrugs. "maybe. but i'm not really looking for anything right now, you know?"

you nod, pretending like that doesn't make your heart do a stupid little flip. of course, he's not looking for anything. he's focused on his career, on being the best. it's one of the things you love about him. dammit.

but you're not one to give up easily. next, you try suggesting clara. clara, who's a bit of a wild card but has this infectious energy that you think might be good for jude. plus, she's been eyeing him for months.

"clara asked about you the other day," you say nonchalantly while you're at a party.

jude glances over at her, then back at you. "clara? really?"

"yeah. i think she likes you."

he laughs, shaking his head. "she's fun and all, but not really my type."

you swallow your frustration. "what is your type then?"

he looks thoughtful for a moment, then shrugs. "dunno. someone who gets me, i guess. someone i can just... be myself with."

you know he's talking about you. you know he is. but you also know he doesn't see you that way. it's like some cosmic joke.

weeks pass, and you keep trying. each time, he's polite, he's interested, but it never goes anywhere. part of you is relieved, but another part is just tired. why can't you just tell him how you feel? why are you such a coward?

one evening, you're both sitting on his couch, some mindless tv show playing in the background. you've given up on the whole setting-him-up-with-someone-else thing, and he seems to sense your frustration.

"you've been weird lately," he says, nudging you with his shoulder. "what's going on?"

you laugh, but it's hollow. "nothing. just... life."

he doesn't buy it. "come on, we've known each other forever. you can tell me."

and that's the problem, isn't it? you can't tell him. you can't tell him that every time he smiles at you, it feels like the sun is shining just for you. you can't tell him that every time he dates someone new, it feels like someone's twisting a knife in your gut. you can't tell him that you're so stupidly, hopelessly in love with him that you can't even see straight.

instead, you say, "it's just... complicated."

he looks at you for a long moment, and you wonder if maybe he knows. if maybe he's always known. but then he smiles, and it's the same smile he's given you a thousand times, and you realise he doesn't. he has no idea.

"well, whatever it is," he says, "you know i'm here for you, right?"

and that's what breaks you. because he is there for you. he's always been there for you. and you're so tired of pretending. so tired of lying to yourself.

"yeah," you whisper. "i know."

you leave early that night, making some excuse about needing to get up early. he looks disappointed, but he doesn't push. you're grateful for that.

back at home, you stare at your reflection in the mirror. you look the same as always, but everything feels different. you can't keep doing this to yourself. you can't keep tearing yourself apart for someone who will never see you the way you want him to.

so you make a decision. you're going to tell him. you're going to lay it all out, consequences be damned. you'd rather have the truth out there, even if it means losing him, than keep living this half-life.

the next day, you call him. "can we talk?"

he senses the seriousness in your tone and agrees immediately. you meet at some secluded park, the same park where you grew up together. it feels fitting, somehow.

"what's up?" he asks, concern etched on his face.

you take a deep breath. "i need to tell you something. and i need you to just... listen."

he nods, eyebrows furrowed and attentive.

"i've been in love with you," you start, your voice trembling. "for as long as i can remember. and i tried to ignore it, tried to set you up with other people, tried to do anything to stop feeling this way. but it's not working. and i can't keep pretending."

his face is unreadable, and you feel your heart pounding in your chest. you brace yourself for rejection, for the inevitable awkwardness that will follow.

but then he steps closer, his eyes never leaving yours. "you idiot," he says softly. "why didn't you tell me sooner?"

you blink, stunned. "what?"

he takes your hands in his, and you feel your breath hitch. "i've been in love with you too. but i thought you just saw me as a friend. i didn't want to mess things up."

you stare at him, unable to process his words. "you... what?"

he laughs, and it's the most beautiful sound you've ever heard. "yeah. all this time, i've been waiting for the right moment. i guess we're both idiots, huh?"

you laugh too, a mixture of relief and disbelief flooding through you. "i guess so."

he pulls you into a hug, and you feel like you're finally home. all the pain, all the frustration, it melts away in his arms.

"so," he murmurs, his breath warm against your ear. "what now?"

you smile, pulling back to look at him. "now, we stop being idiots and see where this goes."

he grins, and it's like the sun is shining just for you. "sounds like a plan."

and for the first time in a long time, you feel like everything is going to be okay. because sometimes, the person you've been searching for has been right there all along.

[whereserpentswalk]

You were born to be a sacrifice. When you first exited your mothers womb the oracles decided that would be your fate. They tattooed your hands and forehead so everyone would know.

When you turn twenty, they'll take you to the church, and they'll set you on fire. And then when your body is burned they'll give your ashes for the angels, and the angels and saints will be proud, and bless your community and family with great riches. Or at least that's what they say.

When you were young it didn't seem to mean anything that you were born to die young. Nobody cared, they just saw you as another kid. But it was always there. Adults would ask other kids what they wanted to be when they grew up, but they'd ask you what you would do once you were a ruler in the court of heaven. They'd tell other kids about marriage and sex and having children, but for you that would just be for other people, you'd die a virgin.

And at a certain age, you were removed from school. Because they said you wouldn't need it. That you shouldn't be wasting your time on such things. And you didn't understand, but you understood that all your freinds were upset that they wouldn't see you anymore. Not as much at least. And people talked about you so much differently from then on. You weren't complimented as strong, or as smart, or as ambitious, you were pretty, and pure, and brave, and dutiful. And everyone talked about how proud they were of you, how wonderful it was that you were going to die for them.

They were so nice to you. They gave you so many gifts and jewelry. You got to spend all day inside playing video games, and you got the best toys and got to go to movies and plays when you wanted to. Soldiers in power armor would bow when they saw you, and robots and cyborgs would turn off their lights. And you sat at a special place in church, and the clothing you wore was diffrent then everyone else's. And people talked about how wonderful you were, and how pretty you were, and how much they loved having you when they knew you wouldn't be on this world for long. And they were so proud of you when they showed you the platinum clothing you would wear on the day of your sacrifice. And you didn't understand why but all of the compliments sounded sad.

As you grew older things changed. The other children went through puberty, but you didn't, they gave you surgery to prevent it, ans told you how pure you were for not producing blood or seed. And you were old enough to understand that you would die, that you would burn, and it would hurt, and that nobody really knew for sure what happened after peopled died. And you saw a sacrifice, and saw the pain they were in, and there weren't any angels, there were only priests watching and chanting, and the smell of burning skin.

Your parents and family started to care much more how you behave. To make sure you're polite. To make sure you're a good sacrifice, who the angels will like. And meanwhile while all your other freinds are going to college, and talking about becoming artists, or starship pilots, or scientists, you know you'll only ever have one ending. But still, everyone loves you, and you don't have responsibilities, but still sometimes you think about how much diffrent life would be if you were born differently.

You've started meeting people who've left the faith, or people who didn't grow up in it, people who believe in diffrent religions or in no religion at all. And your heaven seems less and less certain every day. According to imperial law you're allowed to be sacrificed, but if you choose not to they can't force you. But if you choose not to you can never be a part of your faith again, and your family will be disappointed in you forever. All your family and community, everyone who you ever knew, will consider you a failure, a coward doomed to hell for not going through with what the cosmos planned for you. And all that pride and joy they felt about your fate would be replaced with anger that you never became what they were so happy and proud about you being. You don't think you believe in heaven anymore, but you still might choose to die, if it means they're proud... it's what you're raised to do, you don't know who you'll be if you choose to leave.

Better choose fast darling, it's only a few months away now. You don't want them to be upset.

[cottoncandybitchfuck]

Adaine Abernant, a divination wizard from a rich family from fallinel. She wasn't cared for very much and she had undiagnosed and treated anxiety. She had to kill someone on her first day. She saved a werewolf and got him a job. She got new clothes so she wasn't in school uniform all the time. She got her sister arrested after she tried to kill her and her friends. She found out she's the Oracle. “Having panic attacks is not a character flaw. You're not a coward, you have a goddamn medical condition.” The werewolf saved her back. She refuses the Oracle title. She goes to school, her house is gone and so are her parents. She moved in with the werewolf, her friends and her friends mom (who is dating the werewolf.) She goes on an adventure and uses her divination to save people. She met a half-phoe ix who's her principal's daughter. She becomes best friends with her. She is captured by her parents and tortured. She saves her sister from her parents. She gets her sister's memories back and gets out of Fallinel. She gets a spell from her new friend. She takes a pinky bone to save her friend Kristen if they can. She faced her fear of being the last one of her friends alive. She killed her dad with a punch with her new spell. She makes her friend a spell to understand subtext. She gets adopted by the werewolf. “You're real easy to love, and anyone who couldn't figure that out is a real bozo.” She forgives her sister and lets her move in. She gets a job to afford classes before telling anyone she needed help. She tried to save her friends goddess. She becomes a party legend. She convinced the council of stars to pay her, using her friend's dance to battle for it. She gets him appointed the Oracle of Dance. She got possessed in her friends suitcase. She's willing to do anything for her friends. She helps her friend pass barbarian classes, she divines that her friend will be a good paladin and helps her smite. She stayed sitting down in the last stand and never got hit, but was a big reason they passed. She made a simulacrum of Kristen. She was ready to fight for Kristen. She killed a dragon with a punch. “You’re my sister.” To her friend mourning for the loss of her simulacrum. She doesn't have to be afraid of being alone anymore, her sister wants to eat ice cream and do magic forever (together). They're going to kill their mom. She's a good kid, she's the Oracle.

I spent... So long on this one. It is 12:42 and I am tired. I looked up the transcripts of the episode.

[bitterbutblue]

jane doe toxic? <3

bam yang gang ☆ jane doe x fem!reader

~ As you were leaving, you said to me "You always want far too much If even for a moment, I look away from you It’s like my mind ignites into flames." I hold back the tears about to flow Struggling to suppress the words I longed to share With just a single "Yes, I’m sorry" I closed the chapter on the days we spent together - bibi, bam yang gang ~

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

She grips tightly at the door, bag in hand and your sobs by her side.

"Don't make this harder than it should be."

Her voice is cold enough for you to cease your sobs for just a second because how is she so cruel about all this? Was your love just a fucking joke to her? Was your pain just a simple toy she finds herself able to throw around for fun? Something she can toss aside when she's sick of it?

"Why?"

"You know I can't do this."

"Why the fuck not?"

"God- FUCK!"

Her sudden outburst had you flinching slightly. Her cheeks reddened from anger as her tail swishes, irritated, from this whole dispute. She had always appeared so loving and caring, always looking out for you and always putting you before herself so why this? Why now? Why now with the ring stored away in your bottom drawer in your bedside table does she suddenly want to pack and leave?

"You're too much. You're so much, all the fucking time."

"Oh bullshit!" You cry, throwing the nearest thing, which just so happened to be a box of tissues, at her. She just lets it hit her chest defeatedly, watching you pick up random items like couch cushions or plastic figures from the shelves and hurling it at her and she lets each item hit her. She lets you take our your frustrations on her until you've run out of items and you just sink into the ground. You let yourself melt into the ground, becoming like a statue frozen in time- a memory forever engrained into Jane's memory. You stay in that state, perhaps not physically, but for a long time after.

"I've never fucking asked you for anything, Jane." You say through gritted teeth, your anger now growing. It's like a starving beast, willing to take anything as a excuse to fuel itself. Eating up even crumbs or specks of words to fuel this hatred to block out the searing pain, to block out the way she carves your heart out. Not even methodically- just messily. She does it with a rusted dagger, blunt.

"You ask me all the time-"

"I JUST WANT YOU TO LOVE ME."

Silence rings throughout the apartment again as Jane's eyes darken, yous see the way her throat bobbed as she takes a deep breath in. She looks away.

The fucking coward looks away.

"Well I can't give you that."

"Why the hell not?"

"You- you ask-"

"Don't you fucking say I ask too much of you." You're seething now "Tell me, when have I ever asked you to love me more? I love the way you love me, I never complain about you not loving me in love or not- not loving in the conventional way."

Jane is silent as she stares at you. You've stood up now, knees shaky and you feel like you'll fall over any second but you still stand. You still push yourself up to look at her in the eyes.

"Tell me, Jane."

She loves you.

She really does.

But she can't.

They'll find you.

"You always ask me for too much." Is all she says, before she turns. You scream at her, you want to throw yourself at her but you want to punch her at the same time. You yell curses at her, how you wished you had never given her the chance. How you just want her to love you, how you don't even ask for much and she's just being so selfish but she's gone. The door had already closed before you could even tell her a proper goodbye.

Is this the end of your story? This the chapter you close now, the story of you two coming to an end on a Friday night in your apartment with you sobbing on the kitchen floor for the rest of the knight as your favourite melody to share with her becomes a reminder of a cruel ending.

"As you were leaving you turned around and said to me "You always want far too much" No what I’ve always wanted was one thing Just one thing sweet chestnut red bean jelly"

[1toreyouapart]

What It Cost

****THIS IS A FICTIONAL STORY BASED ON REAL PEOPLE. 18+ ONLY. I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO THE PEOPLE OR MUSIC MENTIONED IN THIS STORY OUTSIDE OF LILITH AND SADIE AND MAYBE A COUPLE OTHERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE NOT UP FOR FANFIC INVOLVING REAL PEOPLE***

Terrible summary: Five years since she last spoke to him. Since she last saw him. Now his face and his voice is everywhere. She can't escape him.

Five years ago Noah destroyed her and the life they had built. Now he’s back and seeking to make amends. As much as she wants to say that it's too little too late, is it?

CW/TW: Angst, mention of addiction, cheating. Mention of character death. Language. Smut (later on). PinV, unprotected PinV (wrap it before you tap it, friends), oral (f&m receiving). All smutty warnings happen later on, so I’ll update TW/CW warning labels as those parts are written and posted. If I forget anything, please let me know so I can fix it! Thank you!

A/N: Currently unedited. Sorry. 😬 Read at your own risk, I guess. 😅 Also no word count because I’m lame.

Part 1

Part 2-Noah

"Lilly's on her way." Nicholas dropped down in the chair next to him.

Noah's heart sank into his stomach. Five years of successfully staying out of her way was about to go to shit. At first he'd done it to make it easier on her. Or so he told himself. But after five years, he had to admit it was because he was nothing but a coward, too scared to face the worst mistake he'd ever made. Hurting her. He could still see the look on her face when he'd come home that morning.

The way those brilliant blue eyes of hers, bloodshot from lack of sleep and undoubtedly hours of crying, tracked his movements as he quietly went up the stairs to take a shower. The pain etched on her face. He'd never seen her so fragile. He'd left the shower and gone downstairs, ready for her anger. Ready for the fight that he was sure was going to happen after what he'd done. Instead he'd gone down just in time to watch her pull out of the driveway. No yelling. No screaming. No crying. She just left. And he did nothing to try to stop her. He knew what he had done. The final nail in the coffin.

"I should leave. I'm not needed here."

"Stop being a fucking coward. I love you, man. But you can't run from what you did forever. Been sober for three years now and you're still too chicken shit to face her."

Ouch. He was right, but ouch. Noah had made amends with everyone he had hurt during those years he had tried to drink himself to death. But the thought of facing her fucking terrified him. Before that last year he had been sure he was going to marry her someday. Shit, even during that last year of their relationship he had been sure of it. Up until he just kept fucking it up more and more, too chicken shit to face his own demons like a grownup.

"Does she know I'm here?"

"Yes. We all promised to keep you away from her unless she wants to speak to you."

Noah grimaced. Sure, he had known deep down that they all kept in contact with her. She was like everyone's little sister. He didn't expect them to just drop out of her life, or her theirs. She'd known all but Nicholas longer than he'd known them, anyway. That didn't stop him from feeling a little hurt by them keeping it from him for so long, though. They could have been honest with him. He knew he had fucked up. He had known the second he let another woman hang all over him that night. Knew as soon as he followed her out the door instead of going straight home to the woman that had moved all the way across the country with him. Bought a house with him.

The door opened and his breath caught in his throat, his heart beginning to hammer in his chest. Palms sweaty he looked up, leg starting to bounce anxiously. There she stood, Jolly wrapping her up in a tight hug. Time seemed to stand still as she turned towards him, her impossibly blue eyes locking on his. No anger. No hatred. Not even a hint of an emotion in them. Just blank. Fuck.

***

Noah shifted uncomfortably, trying his best not to stare at her. Everyone was gathered in the backyard, a fire in the pit, sharing stories of Danny. All evening he had avoided being near her, though everything in him begged to touch her. It was enough to slowly drive him insane. All he wanted was to sit next to her. Hold her hand. Shit, just hold her. To hear her say his name again. But he couldn't do that anymore. He had given up that right.

Lilith's laugh filtered through everything else, and he was sure he was going to pass out right there where he sat, directly across the fire from her. Instead he took a sip of his water, if for nothing else other than a distraction.

"Noah, you have to finish telling them. I can't." Lilith interrupted his thoughts, her laughter echoing in his head. She spoke to him? Said his name? Oh, fuck.

"Jolly asked how she got the Thumbelina nickname," Nicholas whispered, knowing he had been too caught up in his head to know.

Noah smirked, remembering Danny telling him about this story on the phone that day.

"Danny stopped by when we were on tour to check in on her, like I had asked. Apparently she was too caught up in planting those flowers right back there," he gestured towards the flower bush she had planted all those years ago. "And when he said hi she threw one of the bushes at him, thinking he was an intruder." Noah couldn't help but join her in her laughter at the memory. "Danny dubbed her Thumbelina from that moment on."

Noah met her eyes from across the fire as they laughed together, and suddenly everything felt somewhat okay. There was joy back in her eyes, etched across her face. Her smile took over her face, breathing life back into her. He may not be the cause of it, but it was a sight he thought he'd never see again.

"Wait. I thought Noah gave you that nickname. Who started calling you Bambi?" Jolly interjected.

Noah choked on his water, sputtering at the nickname he had always called her. That was one of his favorite memories, though rather private. And not a story he was keen on telling without her permission. The way she had insisted that she didn't need him to help her up after the first time they'd had sex. How she had stumbled and flipped him off the second he said "You sure about that, Bambi?"

Lilith laughed. A full on genuine laugh that came from her toes. God, he had missed that sound. He had missed the way she never held back her true laugh. The way she laughed with every fiber of her being.

Jolly looked between the two of them, her unable to control her laughter, him hiding his face the best he could. Noah watched as realization set into his friends features, and quickly avoided eye contact with him.

"Awe, man! What the fuck?"

Noah couldn't hold back his own laughter anymore, joining Lilith. Jesus Christ, he had missed this. Missed her.

Tags: @haylaansmi @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard

[akwolfgrl]

How sweet it is to be loved by them part 1

I've changed somethings it's now abo and going to be monster trio. Zoro and sanji are married alredy when they meet Luffy.

Luffy watch a blond head bob in the water as they drew closer to the shore. Luffy stood up in the boat and waved his arm excitedly. He was sure he'd have to wait till the grandline before meeting a mermaid! Yet thire they were clear as day.

“Hi!” Luffy called out to them.

“Luffy!” Koby whispered. “Stop, they could be dangerous!” Silly Koby, how was he supposed to become a marine if he was such a coward?

The mermaid stopped swimming and turned towards them before waving back and swimming towards them. He placed his arms against the top of their tiny boat, a net sling over one shoulder. His long blonde hair was the color of gold, yet far more precious, Luffy longed to run his fingers threw it. The shulder length hair was wet from the water curling at the ends, his blue eyes were the same color where the sky met the sea, he had curly eyebrows peeking out from his wet bangs. He had on two mismatched gold earrings, one was tear drop shaped and one had a blue heart dangling from its gold chain. His scent hit Luffy hard, spicy as Vaca atolada, yet salty and fresh like the crashing waves of the seas, a soft sugary drink hit the tip of his tongue allowing him to know they were an omega… no not AN omega but HIS omega

“Hello, what can I do for you?” The pretty mermaid omega asked.

“Are you a mermaid?” Luffy asked him, he was far too pretty not to be.

“Oh my Luffy! You can't ask people if they're mermaids!” Koby hissed at him as the mermaid laughed.

“No unfortunately I'm not,” He kicked his legs up willing his toes. “See no tail,”

“Hmm,” Luffy wasn't convinced but then again he could be hiding. After all, if he didn't want anyone to know he'd never say and deny the truth. “Then if you're not a mermaid what are you?”

“I'm a chef, I suppose a traveling chef now. I pick up work where I can,” He replied. “Sanji by the way, Luffy and who's your friend?”

“I'm Koby,”

“A chef!?” Luffy stomach growled causing the mermaid Sanji to laugh again.

“Come on you sound hungry, join me for breakfast. My house boat is just over there,” Sanji pointed towards the shore and a larger boat parked by the dock.

Luffy and Koby paddled their way over to Sanji's house boat. The blonde omega was climbing up into his home when they arrived. His long muscular legs and thighs were warped in a brightly colored swim trunks with fishes on them. He was slim with a tiny waist, his shoulders were broader than his own but he looked as if he was still growing into his body. He hung the net of crabs up to dry.

“Let me get dressed and I'll start breakfast. The galley is right through this door and to the left,” Sanji spoke, opening said door before turning right.

Luffy dragged Koby with him to the door and to the left. He took a seat at the small table egar to eat. Luffy could smell hints of anthoer alpha, but it was faded. The galley was warm and cozy, the cabinets painted a soft blue, the cupushioens on the chairs and benches, and darker blue. On the wall above his head was an empty sword rack. Thire were photos that littered the walls before Luffy could proprly look. Sanji returned wearing black slacks and a blue long sleve button-up, his long hair pulled back.

“Whata ya makein!” Luffy asked, sniffing the air. Whatever it was, it smelled like meat and bread.

“Cachorro com Ovo,” Sanji replied, rolling his sleeves up. Luffy watched as more skin was once more reviled.

“Mmmm I haven't had that in forever!” Luffy was excited. He loved food more than almost anything else. He was so happy his mate was a cook.

“What is it?” Koby asked.

“Dog with egg,” Luffy exspined. “Thire no dog, it's just bread with a meat stew with fried egg and tomatoes! It's like one of the few things Gramps knows how to make,” Sometimes after training, if Luffy did well, Gramps would make food as a reward.

[electronicdelusionstarlight]

I'd like to point out that while the Tower and the Moment of Clarity both grey out your options, they do it in different ways.

The Tower is a Goddess, she is using mind fucking powers to make you compliant, the TOWER is what's reducing your options.

The Moment of Clarity isn't doing shit. She doesn't even realize she has done anything in fact, she just looks at you, either calls you brave or a coward depending if you wanted to flee again or stay with her as the Nightmare (Topical ain't it? Leave alone or stay trapped forever in the loop with her, arguably two of the worst endings when you could have fled with her, as mortals or gods), and then sounds genuinely surprised by how broken you are.

That's because The Shifting Mound is what's greying out your options there.

The Princess needs to be a God to take away your agency while you're still a mortal, and the Moment of Clarity isn't a god. She is a metaphor, trapped in the hill, one you can only free, the symbol of the two worst endings for her (Slaying her and leaving as a god, or restarting the cycle) keeping her literally trapped down there.

How many times has the Long Quiet restarted the cycle with the Final Princess? Countless, if all the voices are to take into account, always trying to do something else, to break the cycle, so of course during the moment of clarity you are left with only one way out.

Take her hand and set her free. Reject the blade keeping you both trapped in the cycle.

There was another way out too of course. Slay her, but without thinking about it, as the Cold puts it, the "good ending," go there, on the very first loop, kill her, and then accept your reward, not let any traitorous thought win, but you can't do that can't you?

But you can't do that now can't you? Because even by getting to the nightmare, you let the intrusive thoughts win.

Anyway, this to say the Moment of Clarity is not greying your options, it's just that you lost all other options, because you did everything else in the game, in the cycle, all you're left with is set her free and leave with the Shifting Mound.

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

Movie Night

This is part two of my childhood best friends-to-lover anthology. I utterly hate this installment, but once again, I have to get it out, or it will stay in my drafts forever. The first people to get the reference can drop a request into my inbox for any character in my pinned post.

Contains: Fluff.

2.2K words

Your movie night tradition leads to more than popcorn.

More terrifying than The Exorcist. The Curse of Blackstone Lab."  

Sean huffed and pulled your attention from the shop front toward the bus stop poster. "What do you think about that y/n?" 

You shrugged. "I don't know. I'm pretty sure I've heard that slogan a million times." The picture did its best to keep everything a mystery, containing only a photo of a long, dark, dirty hallway, the tagline, and a title in blocky white letters.

"I heard they needed doctors at the test screenings." He often revelled in his ability to be in the know, to know the right people to get whatever he wanted, and this time was no different. "I know the producer, I think I might be able to get us an advanced copy."

Being back at the top had its benefits; the last time, it was front row seats to the latest opera. "I thought we were going to watch Red Eye this weekend?"

He gave you a look, it was full of mischief and affection. "You're not scared are you?"

You rolled your eyes. "No, I'm not. I've haven't be scared of a horror movie in years. I just don't want you getting caught up when we have to go buy you new suits." You could tell it was already too late, the wheels in his head were well and truly turning. "Sean, you are shit with colour, and I have a date tonight; you're not about to make a phone call."

He looped his arm around yours and yanked you to him. "Alright then, I can't have you late for your Monday night date with Mr tall, dark and boring."

There was a hint of something to his voice that gave you pause, a mix of annoyance and snippiness that let you know he disapproved. "Not boring, he's nice."

He huffed, and his mouth opened and closed like he had stopped himself from saying something before he took a deep breath and shook the thought away. "Well, when he bores you half to death you know where I live."

You nodded. "Thank you, Sean, I'll remember that. Now we need to hurry up."

He grinned and pulled you towards the store. "Whatever you want, I would be lost without your stylistic talents."

****

You sat at the restaurant waiting for your date, but seven turned into eight and then into eight-thirty, and it was clear he wasn't coming. You thought about going home, but Sean would be calling anyway, and there was no way he was going to let you marinate in your embarrassment all by yourself, it would be quicker and easier just to head right to his place.

Billy opened the door when you got there and pointed you upstairs. "He's been expecting you." You sighed and began your walk of shame, but Billy stopped you. "Are you good?"

You nodded. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

He titled his head. "Because Sean wanted to take the car and make sure your date went alright."

You shrugged. "You know Sean, he's always been overprotective of me. I'll tell him off when I get up there."

Billy nodded. "Like that will change anything. You look lovely by the way."

You gave him a smile. "Thanks Bill."

The door was open when you walked by, and Sean beckoned in with a smile. "How did your date go? Not well, considering that you're here."

You sighed. "It didn't, I got stood up."

There was no "I told you so." No, knowing smile or smug arrogance, he looked angry. "What a fucking coward, bastard doesn't even have the decency to call you, and you look so nice in that dress."

You put a hand on his bicep in hopes of soothing him. "I know" You took a deep breath before continuing, half to plan what you would say next and half to steel yourself from the pushback you knew you would get. "And Billy told me that you wanted to go and keep an eye and I've told a million times before I can look after myself."

He crossed his hands over his head, there wasn't an ounce of shame on his face. "I know that, but you're my friend, and like I said to you before, I didn't really like him all that much."

You smiled as he pulled you into a hug, his warm hands clutching you close. "Don't rub it in Wallace."

He chuckled softly, it was filled with warmth and affection. "You're better off anyway." You felt the hug tighten as the air changed. "Nevertheless, it's a good thing you're here, I have good news."

He broke from the hug and all but skipped to his desk, pulling out a non-descript disk. "I made a call just after you left me this afternoon and it was here by courier an hour later."

Your failed date was forgotten in an instant. "You got it?"

He nodded. "I did, and the producer said it's the scariest movie he's ever seen. So this Sunday, you, me, and a bucket of popcorn with the world's best butter?"

He was always so eager to spend time with you; it was hard to say no, even if you wanted to watch the other movie more. "Of course, it's our tradition."

****

You decided to stop by the bakery and get some cupcakes for tonight, and you felt a tap on your shoulder and spun around to see Billy standing behind you. "Hello."

You gave him a wave. "Hi, you look well."

He smiled shyly. "Yeah, things are good. What are you doing here?"

You pointed to the cupcakes inside the long glass display case. "Cupcakes for tonight."

He pressed his lips together, clearly trying to figure out if he should share the thought swirling in his head. "You got time for a coffee?"

You nodded. "Sure, I've always got time for you Bill."

It didn't take long for the coffee to brew, and you took your boxed cupcakes over to the table with him and sat down. "Now, what's on your mind?"

"Sean's in love with you. I'm pretty sure he has been since you guys were sixteen." He sipped his coffee like he hadn't just dropped a bomb the size of London on your head and nibbled the dry skin on his lower lip. "And let's be honest with ourselves y/n, I think the feeling is mutual."

You blinked, unsure what to say and taken aback by how blunt he was. "Wow, what makes you say that?" You were met with a raised eyebrow and a pointed exhale. "Yeah, ok, so I've been doing a shit job at hiding my feelings since everything that happened with Elliot and the crown, but he's back at the top, and I'm not going to complicate his life anymore by spilling my guts."

He nodded, almost to himself, wrapped his hand around the top of his cup and stood up. "Good talk y/n."

He was walking away before you could respond, and you yelled after him. "Are you just going to leave me here to sit in it?"

He turned his head towards you, still moving away. "Yep."

"It doesn't matter anyway, I have a date next week and I'm going to it." If he heard you, he didn't let on.

****

You pulled the white bakery box from your bag and smiled. "Are you ready to be terrified?"

He grinned and took the box from your hand, placing it on his desk before opening and looking over the sweet treats. "They look delicious." He handed you the one with the most icing and lifted his own.

He leaned back in his chair, glanced from the iced cake to you and back again, then picked it up and held it aloft, "To friends in high places."

He removed the wrapping from your cupcake and placed it in the empty box along with his own, then threw the box in the trash. Sighing, he stood up and said, "Would you like to stay the night? Mum's making pancakes in the morning. You don't need to leave when the movie's done."

There was no reason to say no, one of the many guest rooms was basically yours, housing your clothes and toiletries, even monogrammed towels that you received as a birthday gift one year. "Sure."

****

The position you were in was a common one, next to Sean on the couch in the movie room with a blanket thrown over your laps as he set the movie up. "I have another date next week, not with the same guy, and this one has an interesting job."

He pressed his lips together and nodded. "Ah, well I hope this one goes better."

You shrugged. "Who knows, if this one doesn't the next one will."

The lights in the room dimmed as the movie started, and you leaned into him as you started in on the popcorn. It started slow, the steady building of dread and the total uncertainty of whether the villain was a person, a demon or all in someone's head. They were right, it was scary, and Sean seemed to enjoy the way you slowly pulled the blanket closer to your face as you squished yourself into him. 

The second you thought you could relax, the thing hiding in the shadows the whole time finally came out, and you jumped out of your skin to his amusement. "Are you scared?" 

You shook your head. "No, it was just a loud noise." 

He laughed and shot you a look that told you he didn't believe you one bit. "You sure?" 

"Positive." You took a deep breath and sat up a little straighter, turning back to the screen as his arm pulled you impossibly closer. You did your best to relax, but it was nothing short of impossible, if this thing didn't win Best Picture at the Oscars then horror didn't stand a chance because the moment you thought you were safe, it was right back to the terror. 

You managed one more scare before you flinched again, and Sean was pausing the movie with a sigh. "You are scared." 

You sighed and twisted in his arms to face him. "So maybe I am just a bit." 

He smiled softly. "Don't worry, I won't let the monster get you." 

You nodded. "I know, I know you'd never let anything happen to me." 

There was a shift in the air, like the first change in the wind before a storm, and he went to say something else, but something stopped him. Your hand was still curled in his shirt from when you grabbed him, and as he looked at you in the blue lighting from the film, a feeling grew inside him. "What?" You gave him a look and a light shove and repeated yourself. "What?" 

He wasn't sure what to say, he couldn't tell you how he was feeling, that the butterflies that seemed to live in his chest whenever you were around had suddenly started to flutter so violently that he was sure they were bruising the fascia of his ribs.

You shoved him again to no effect, and he laid his hands on top of yours, they were warmed and calloused, and he was looking at you strangely. "Don't go on that date." 

You tilted your head. "Why?" It was such a sudden change of tone, but before you could press for more, his expression set firm like he had finally made an important decision, and then his lips were on yours. 

Oh, that's why

The moment you got over the shock, you sunk into the kiss, his lips were plump and soft, and he kissed you the way a drowning man begged Thetis for air. You broke from the kiss, and his lips followed yours as you backed away until you placed a hand on his chest. "What are you doing?" 

He pecked you again, and you couldn't help but let him. "I love you y/n." You wondered if Billy had talked to him like he had spoken to you. "I love you, so you can't go on that date or a date with anyone else who isn't me ever again because I don't know if I can survive the thought of you with anyone else." 

You lifted your hand to his cheek and ran your thumb over his freckled cheekbone. "Ok, but only if you kiss me again." He was happy to oblige, and you found yourself slowly moving onto your back as the kiss deepened. 

He was smiling against you, and his teeth found your lower lip in a soft bite before he pulled back. "Does this mean you return my affection?" 

You laughed and kissed an apology on his cheek at your lack of reciprocation. "Yes, it is returned whole heartedly. I love you Sean." 

He sat up and took you with him, and you wrinkled your eyebrows, but before you could say anything, he turned the movie back on and yanked you back into your previous position against him. "I would like to finish the film." 

His eyes were glinting with mischief, and his hand was slowly making its way up your leg. "You're being a tease." 

He leaned in close, his eyes still on the screen as he whispered into your ear. "Consider it payback coming here on Monday in that dress." 

Fin

@daydreaming-belle @lovemissyhoneybee @darklydeliciousdesires

[voxmilia]

Tell me about Adaine :D

Send me a character and I'll ramble

Ily, thank you for indulging my hyperfixations! 🥰

Also tagging @ghostlyeris and @shackld bc they also sent in Adaine jhdalshd loving Adaine is my brand ig (it's an excellent brand)

Under the cut bc I rambled so goddamn much

My first impression: "oh...oh wait help her voice is so soft, oh she had a panic attack at her entrance exam? Oh baby 🥺"

My impression now: "that's my GIRL, that's my GIRL, she's got a gun and a magical punching spell and she's gonna kill everyone who hurts her or her friends"

Favorite thing about that character: She's so endlessly caring. She's been put through the absolutely wringer and yes, she's guarded about it. But she's so, so kind. She has downtime and she offers to clean her friend's closet or throw an ice cream party. She uses her jacket that can produce anything (under 10 gold) and 90% of the time uses it to get stuff for her friends. She's three for three on helping redeem wizard antagonists, she's amazing

Least favorite thing: It's more least favorite in that I love her so much, I want her to have nice things? But narratively, it makes sense. She's so guarded and independent because she's had to be. And so that means now she struggles to accept help and open herself up especially to parental affection. And it just breaks my heart, seeing how far she's come but how far she has to go to let herself be loved the way she deserves.

Favorite line/scene: Her and Aelwyn in sophomore year is imprinted on my brain forever. In Fallinel wizard jail, holding the broken shell of her big sister in Kei Lumenura, the confrontation in the nightmare forest. "I do not love our parents and though you have not earned it? I do love you." TEARS. EVERY TIME.

Runner up goes to any scene with her and Jawbone - the iconic "You're not a coward, Adaine, you're just sick, you need medicine!" and the equally iconic "You're easy to love. And anyone who couldn't figure that out is a real bozo."

Third place goes to the ping pong table scenes, both of them. The amount of times I quote "ONE GUY OFFERED ME DIAMONDS AND I RAN AWAY" in dms is so funny

Also obviously "MAGIC IS REAL AND SO IS MY FROG!!!!!!!"

Favorite interaction that character has with another: beyond the above examples with her and Aelwyn, her and Jawbone, and her and Oisin? It's so silly but I'll always have a soft spot for her and Zayn in the opening to sophomore year. "You may absolutely tread upon my sanctum santorum!"

Also ofc any interaction with her and Ayda so I'm SO glad we got that moment in junior year where they were shading each other. Their friendship means the fucking world to me. They made each other spells, I'm forever tender about that

A character that I wish that character would interact with more: After junior year, I have to say Sandra Lynn! Their scene was incredibly sweet!! She's her dad's girlfriend and the closest thing to a mother figure she has, they deserve to have a moment! Also in a similar vein, Tracker! Tracker is not only her adoptive cousin but also her former roommate - she lived with Tracker nearly as long as she's lived with Kristen and about as long as she's lived with Fig, I'm so curious about their dynamic.

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character: it's not at all a one to one but my immediate thought was Annette Dominic. Just? Idk something about incredibly studious girls who don't know how to relax and just be kids, who had to grow knowing they were abandoned or neglected by their parents and had to find the love they deserve in a group of school friends? Idk!! I think they'd be friends. Adaine would offer to kill Gilbert

A headcanon about that character: Though it's her legal name, Adaine doesn't really refer to herself as an O'Shaughnessy, mostly out of habit. At her college graduation ceremony, she insists on being announced as Adaine Abernant-O'Shaughnessy. Jawbone cries.

A song that reminds of that character: So I haven't started her playlist and didn't wanna just pull something from mine and Nick's ship playlist for her and Oisin, so I just looked on Spotify and 🥺 Someone gave her Waiting on a Miracle from Encanto and that breaks my heart, so I have to say that one.

An unpopular opinion about that character: I'm ambivalent on the glasses. I like her with or without them. I know most folks seem to think that's just canon but personally I'm way more team "Riz definitely has a tail" than "Adaine definitely has glasses"

Favorite picture: HOW DO I CHOOSE, let me highlight a few of my faves:

the absolutely iconic princess mononoke moment with oisin,

this heartbreaking art of adaine and aelwyn while aelwyn is still imprisoned in sophomore year

this gorgeous bad kids group shot that I use currently as my tupperbox icon for adaine

this stunning and tragic parallel with adaine and the previous elven oracle

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Good Night

Epilogue for Sweet Treats AU: by character | chronological | epilogues

Warnings: these drabbles will include dark elements such as noncon, control, intimidation, violence, death, suicide, and other stuff that may not be specified. Take this as you chance to scroll by.

Please let me know what you think <3

🍯🍯🍯

You open your eyes. It's grim and grey. The world is just as heavy as your body. You try to move but it hurts too much. You drop your hand back to the bed and stare at the green canopy.

You don't remember how this happened. You were in the kitchen, now you're here. You groan, your mouth is dry and sticky.

There's movement in the shadows. You flinch and tense as you squint into the dark. The lamp flicks on and illuminates a familiar face. She smiles, her eyes swollen from her tears, and squeezes your hand.

"I'm sorry, I fell asleep."

You don't say anything. You couldn't if you tried. You give a strained look as she pets your knuckles.

"He's gone. Thor. For now. I told him... I'd be good if he let me stay."

You stare at Muffin. That makes you sad but you don't know why you would care if he's gone. He's not done anything to you.

"I didn't mean for him to hurt you."

Your eyes round and you cough. You squeak as it thrums in your bones. Why would he hurt you? What did you do?

"I decided that if it means I get to see you, then I'll talk all he wants me to."

You nod and squeeze her hand back. You don't have strength to do more than that. You wish she wasn't stuck with him. You wish you didn't know exactly the dread that edges her tone.

"He killed my father," she utters, "Just like... just your mom. But I didn't know."

You give a sympathetic grimace and tilt your head. She never speaks so much, she must be really upset.

"Sorry," you croak and nearly on your arid tongue.

"No, I'm sorry. I was stupid. Just like those other girls."

You furrow your brows and blow out. You shake your head slowly, "not stupid--"

"Yes, very. They're not going to get away. Not forever. They can't."

"Muffin," you murmur.

"I'm done with hope, aren't you?"

You seal your lips and your eyes sting. You don't know what to say. Muffin was always the happy one, she always made you feel better. She is the light in the tunnel and now it's all caving in.

"That went... a long... time... ago," you eke out, little by little.

She laughs into a sob and covers her face. She cries, her shoulders heaving as her despair consumes her. Your own tears trickle out. Your head pulses from the base.

"There's..." You raise your hand and point to the green chest nestled against the wall, "in there. Bottom, pouch..." the words are hard to piece together, "brown with golden string."

She looks at you in confusion. She sniffles and gulps. Slowly, she stands as your arm falls limp. That was your plan, the one you never could bring yourself to follow through on. That makes your chest pit and questions if it's all so bad.

She goes to the chest and lifts the lid carefully. She bends and stirs through the depths. You hid it there with the spare blankets because Loki never deals with all that. You make the bed, you cook the meals, he merely walks upon your freshly mopped floors. Still just a god with his head in the clouds.

She finds the pouch, the little bag once storing one of many necklaces gifted from your avaricious husband. In which you hid the tablets secreted from Tony's cabinet during that chaotic party. You could always get some wiggle room if you gave Loki what he wanted.

"There's not enough.... for both..." Your head lolls and you give and acidic smile, "didn't think..."

She comes back to you and looks inside the sachet. Her eyes flick up and she gives you a dire look. You let the doom numb you.

"You can... have them," you turn your head. "I could.... couldn't."

She doesn't say anything. She stands there, unmoving. Maybe she won't do it. Maybe she'll put it back and stay with you.

"I'm a coward," you confess, "but... you're not."

She sits on the bed again. You look at her through a wall of grief. She won't look at you.

"Can I lay with you?" She asks at last.

"Please," you reach for her hand and grip it firmly around the pouch, "you'll just... go to sleep. I will too."

Again, she hesitates. "What about you?"

"What about me?" You sigh, "I'll find another way... maybe."

You let her go and she dumps the pills into her hand. She stares at them, her throat constricting, and then she pours them into her mouth. She holds her palm against her lips and gulps loudly. She chokes a little and coughs it out. She gives a blech at the taste.

She tosses the sachet and stretches out next to you. You drape your arm over her shoulders as she puts her head on your chest. She slings her arm over your middle and you turn your gaze to the ceiling. Misery loves friends but your only friend does not deserve this misery.

"I love you," she says with a yawn.

You move your hand in front of her face and sign back to her; "Love you forever."

---

This is goodbye to Darling and Muffin. Thank you all for sticking around.

[catreadsbooks]

Jace's letter to Clary (City of Glass)

Clary,

Despite everything, I can't bear the thought of this ring being lost forever, any more then I can bear the thought of leaving you forever. And though I have no choice about the one, at least I can choose about the other. I'm leaving you our family ring because you have as much right to it as I do.

I'm writing this watching the sun come up. You're asleep, dreams moving behind your restless eyelids. I wish I knew what you were thinking. I wish I could slip into your head and see the world the way you do. I wish I could see myself the way you do. But maybe I don't want to see that. Maybe it would make me feel even more than I already do that I'm perpetuating some kind of Great Lie on you, and I couldn't stand that.

I belong to you. You could do anything you wanted with me and I would let you. You could ask anything of me and I'd break myself trying to make you happy. My heart tells me this is the best and greatest feeling I have ever had. But my mind knows the difference between wanting what you can't have and wanting what you shouldn't want. And I shouldn't want you.

All night I've watched you sleeping, watched the moonlight come and go, casting its shadows across your face in black and white. I've never seen anything more beautiful. I think of the life we could have had if things were different, a life where this night is not a singular event, separate from everything else that's real, but every night. But things aren't different, and I can't look at you without feeling like I've tricked you into loving me.

The truth no one is willing to say out loud is that no one has a shot against Valentine but me. I can get close to him like no one else can. I can pretend I want to join him and he'll believe me, up until that last moment where I end it all, one way or another. I have something of Sebastian's; I can track him to where my father's hiding, and that's what I'm going to do. So I lied to you last night. I said I just wanted one night with you. But I want every night with you. And that's why I have to slip out of your window now, like a coward. Because if I had to tell you this to your face, I couldn't make myself go.

I don't blame you if you hate me, I wish you would. As long as I can still dream, I will dream of you

-Jace 

(x)

[fangirls-fanfiction]

Chapter Ten :D

Story below undercut:

The Hellevator arrived in the Underworld, the Queen of Hell stumbling out of it, balancing herself on her trident.

"Boss! There you are! We were starting to get worried bout you! We..." Henchwoman stopped, seeing the state her Boss was in. "Boss...? You ok...?"

The Devil didn't answer, only holding a shaky hand to her lips as she continued to breath heavily and quickly.

"Boss?"

Lucifer melted to the ground in front of the Hellevator, her hands shaking as her breath didn't seem to calm down, hugging herself tightly.

Her mind was spiraling, the last few moments beforehand replaying at the speed of light over and over again. Why did she do that? Why did she do that?

"Boss?" Henchwoman approached her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder, only getting a tense twitch in return.

Her brain was going a million miles a minute. What did Dice think of her now? Why did she let her do it? Why did she even try to do it in the first place? Was she crazy?! Was she an idiot? And then she just... Just left! Like a coward. She never should've lead with her heart, letting her emotions take over and try to...

Try to kiss Dice.

Her breathing got quicker, worrying her loyal companion.

"Boss," Henchwoman said gently, kneeling down next to her. "Boss, look at me."

Doing as she was told, she looked to the other, not saying a word.

"Are you ok?"

The demon shook her head no.

"Do ya wanna talk about it, Boss?"

No! She never wanted to even think about it ever again! She just wanted to disappear, never show her sorry face to Dice or anyone ever again.

"Ok... We don't gotta talk about it right now. How bout this, I can get you a nice dinner ready and we'll go from there?"

The Queen of Hell shook her head no, scrambling up from her spot on the floor, tripping over herself as she sprinted down the hallway without so much as a word.

♠️ ♠️ ♠️

It had been days, maybe weeks— The Devil hadn't been keeping track. She hadn't exactly left her room since she'd gotten back to Hell.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been awake for, but she didn't dare leave her room. She could never face Dice or anyone ever again. Snatching away her pride had been her own doing; wearing her heart on her sleeve and letting it lead her and act on impulse, realizing what she was doing far too late.

Love just wasn't something that worked out for her. Not way back then, not now. At least she got away from it before she could've been hurt again.

Holding one of her pillows close to her chest, a few stray tears streamed down her face.

She should've just made Dice forget all about this. It was a simple spell, all she'd have to do is wave her hand and— Poof! The whole incident would be erased from Dice's memory.

But she couldn't bring herself to do it. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Dice... Again. She couldn't do that to her, no matter how painful the memory was for the demon.

The door creaked open, the demon covering her head with the pillow. The Devil had a good guess who it was, but whoever it was didn't say anything. The only sounds being the quiet tinks of ceramic glass and the sound of tea pouring followed by the distinct smell of the demons tea. Though silence followed soon after, the door not even opening and closing back up. Instead, she felt a pressure on the side of the bed.

Moving her pillow slightly to peak at whoever it was, she was relieved to see Henchwoman rather than anyone else. Finally moving the pillow aside, she turned her back to her companion.

"Boss?" Henchwoman asked kindly.

"Hmm?"

"Boss, you've been in here for days, you're gonna have to come out eventually."

"No." The Queen of Hell whined like a petulant child, putting a different pillow over her head.

"Boss," Henchwoman went on. "Don't be like that. You can't stay in here forever."

"Wanna bet?"

"Boss."

The Devil didn't answer.

"You didn't even tell me what happened that has you cooped up like this."

Lucifer grumbled.

"If ya tell me, you might feel a little better. I might even be able help ya work things out."

"I... I can't..."

"Why not...?"

"It's... It's..." She sighed. "It's stupid... I don't know what I was thinking."

"What?"

"I... I acted on impulse... Again..."

"Aw Jeeze... How many people died this time?"

"What?" The Devil sat up, shooting her a glare. "No one! Not that kind of impulse!"

"Oh— Ok, D'uhm... That's good... Then what kinda impulse?" Henchwoman asked.

"When..." Lucifer took a deep breath and let it out. "When I went out, I ran into Dice. We... We talked for a bit and— And we lost track of time. So... So in order to make sure she made it to her show on time... I... I... I teleported her there... Then... Then..."

"Then what? What happened?"

"I... I dunno if she meant it as a way to say thank you but... But..." She sniffled, the whole thing replaying in her head. "But she... She kissed me... On the... On the cheek..."

"Oh." Henchwoman commented but didn't say anything else.

"I tried to ignore it... I tried so hard... I really did... But... I couldn't stop myself..."

"What happened? You didn't hurt Miss Dice, did you?"

"I kissed her back."

Henchwoman's eyes widened.

"On the lips."

"Oh my..."

The dam broke, the Queen of Hell rolling over as she cried her eyes out.

"Henchwoman, what's wrong with me...?"

"N— Nothin'! Nothin' at all, Boss!" Henchwoman said quickly. "This— This is perfectly normal."

The demon paused, sniffing before she rolled around to face her companion.

"Really?"

"Y— Yeah!" Henchwoman nodded quickly.

Glaring at her, Lucifer growled, seeing through her lies and not appreciating that she was lying to her.

"I mean... I've seen it in the picture shows..." 

Groaning, the Queen of Hell flopped back over face first in the pillows. She knew it. She should've known all along. Demons weren't supposed to feel this type of attraction towards someone, especially a demon like herself. She just wanted to forget about this, or make it disappear even. She'd give anything to make it disappear, even her trident.

Ok, maybe not anything.

She couldn't stop thinking of that day— However long it'd been— The awful memory still lingered on as if it had happened hours ago. When Queen Dice made that stupid decision to kiss her cheek, the Devil reacted the same as she did before.

She'd wanted more than a damn kiss on the cheek. All those thoughts came racing back to her, the demon acting on impulse and holding Queen Dice close to her. She couldn't stop staring at those eyes. Or her lips. Just wanting to get even one kiss. It was so unnatural for a demon like herself to do.

And yet... It felt nice. Just being there with Dice, staring wordlessly at one another. Feeling her heart pound out of her chest as they drew nearer and nearer. Not a hint of fear or worry between them.

Dice never pushed away, in fact, she'd almost seemed to pull them closer.

But of course, Old Scratch was probably fooling herself as some sort of coping mechanism.

She clutched the covers underneath her, trying desperately not to cry more than she already had.

"Boss?"

"Hmm?"

"There's nothing wrong with you."

The Queen of Hell sighed.

"Maybe you should talk to Dice? Maybe she could— "

"No!" Lucifer sat up quickly. "No! I— I can't! I can't tell her about this! And you'd better not tell her we spoke of this! Got it?!"

"Of course, Boss— "

"SWEAR IT!"

"Ok, ok! I swear I won't tell Dice!"

"Don't tell ANYONE!"

"Ok! I swear I won't tell Dice or no one else about it!"

"Good... Good..." The Devil sighed, flopping back down on the pillows. 

"But... D'uhm, Boss?"

"Yes?"

"Telling her might help out."

"Henchwoman, please drop the subject."

"Yes, ma'am." Henchwoman didn't go any further.

"You're free to go, Henchwoman. I'll be out shortly." She rolled over in her bed. "Maybe."

"Of course. Don't let your tea get cold, Boss."

Lucifer heard the imp push the tea cart out, the door creaking open and clicking shut once more. Rolling over again, she lifted her tea from her bedside table, absentmindedly stirring it while staring at her own warped reflection in the tea.

Her mind wandered, and no matter what she tried to stop it, it wandered back to when she and Dice had last seen each other. She never meant for it to go so far. She still vividly remembered that night.

How close Dice was to her, staring up at her. Her expression had been hard to read; intrigued yet confused. She never pushed away. She never spoke up. In fact, she seemed to want to kiss the demon as much as Lucifer wanted to kiss her.

Maybe, just maybe...

Her gaze focused on her reflection in her tea.

Grumbling, she tore her eyes away from it, taking an unenthusiastic sip.

Now that was just ridiculous. The Devil was well aware that Dice was afraid of her. Just like any other mortal. Just like any other demon even here in Hell. No one ever saw her as anything worth getting to know or care about. Dice was no exception; she'd never see the Devil as anything...

But a monster.

♣️ ♣️ ♣️

Queen Dice's footsteps echoed in the corridor toward her Boss' office. She still hadn't seen her in the throne room where she usually was. In fact, she hadn't seen her Boss for a good week. Since the whole incident in her dressing room. That feeling still lingered, feeling the demons lips brush against hers just for a moment, yet she'd never forget the feeling. It gave her a little hope, that maybe she wasn't reading their relationship wrong. That maybe, just maybe, the Devil shared her feelings. Though that was taken from her by the absence of her Boss. Dice wished she could talk to her, but she was advised to stay away from her when she gets this upset.

Coming upon the demon's office, she saw the shine of light through the bottom of the door, giving her just a glimmer of hope. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door, making sure she looked presentable to see her Boss.

"Enter." The Queen of Hell said through the door.

Opening the door, she put on her brave, winning smile, immediately making eye contact with her Boss. The Devil tensed up, directing her attention to her paperwork.

"Uhm... Hi Boss..."

"Hello, Dice." There was a slight waver to the demon's voice.

"You uh... You feelin better?" Queen Dice asked.

"I'm feeling just fine."

"Good, good..."

Queen Dice slowly approached the Devil's desk further as she attempted avoiding eye contact.

"So... Boss... I— I— "

"Construction of the 'Carnevil' is going swimmingly." The demon interrupted her.

"Wh... What?"

"The 'Carnevil', it's almost ready for operation." She looked up. "That's what you came in here for, right?"

Dice's heart sank, her smile faded.

She opened her mouth to argue, Lucifer raising an eyebrow.

"I... I actually..."

The demon furrowed her eyebrows, silently glaring at the woman.

"Y... Yes... It was... Thank you..." Her gaze fell. "Thanks, Boss..."

"Good. Great. You're excused, Dice." The Devil waved her off.

That's it?

Queen Dice creased her eyebrows, not moving from her spot. Looking back up, Old Scratch blinked.

"That will be all, Dice."

The Queen of Hell obviously didn't want to talk about it. The dilemma was that Dice did. To get an explanation or something. More than just being brushed off.

"You're free to go, Dice." The demon began getting annoyed.

"I had another question, Boss." Dice crossed her arms.

"Yes?"

"Do you... Do you remember last week at all?"

The demons head shot up.

"Why...?"

"Just... Just wondering... Do you remember what happened the last time we saw each other?"

Panic filled Lucifer's eyes, she tensed up in her seat, almost trying to back away but being blocked by her chair. Queen Dice attempted a step forward, panicking the demon further. Quickly scrambling up from her chair, the Devil began to back away, Dice stopping while she was ahead.

It sent a piercing ache through her heart. To see her Boss like this...

This Scared.

"D— Dice... I... I didn't... I..." She seemed at a loss for words, shaking her head slowly.

"I just had a question about it, it's ok." Queen Dice spoke gently and patiently. "I just wanna know what... You know... What that was all about."

Dread going over her face, the Devil backed up further, holding her hands close to her chest, almost trying to make herself look smaller.

"Boss? It's ok."

Finally, there was a puff of purple smoke, the demon vanishing into thin air.

Or so Dice thought.

Sighing as she realized she'd scared her Boss away, Queen Dice turned around to give up, seeing something small scurry across the floor.

A mouse.

Heading for the door.

"Boss?"

The mouse stopped, turning its head to face Dice, its little nose twitching before running off again, this time faster.

"Boss!"

Dice hurried after the mouse, catching her just before she got out the door. Trying to run off again, the demon-mouse let out panicked squeaks, desperately trying to get away.

"Devil?"

The mouse didn't seem to listen.

"Lucifer!"

Finally getting her attention, the mouse looked back at her, her little gold and red eyes filled with fear.

"We need to talk about this and you know it."

The mouse's nose twitched again, the rodent squeaking again.

Queen Dice glared at the little black mouse. She waited for her Boss to change back, but the moment never came, she only sat there, covering her eyes with her front paws. Sighing, Dice slumped over to the chase lounge.

"Ok... If you won't talk, I will." She sat on the couch, still holding the rodent. "I don't know if you think I'm mad at you or something... But... I'm not..."

The mouse-demon showed her face, her nose twitched again.

"But I... I guess I was just surprised..." Queen Dice chuckled awkwardly. "I knew we were friends but... I wasn't sure if we were that close." Queen Dice shrugged. "Not that I mind."

Dice gently pet the mouse's head, the rodent remaining eye contact. Smiling down at her, Queen Dice chuckles at how cute her Boss was in this form. And how her eyes slowly closed shut as Dice brushed the fur atop her head.

"So... Whatever this means between us, I just wanna say, I..."

Her eyes shot open again, Old Scratch tried with another escape, jumping from Dice's hands and bolting back toward the door.

"Wait! Boss!"

Dice grabbed for her again to no avail, the little rodent scurrying to the door and successfully wriggling underneath it and out of the office. Opening the door, Queen Dice looked every which way for her Boss. Though in the form of a tiny mouse, she'd be impossible to find in the underworld.

Dice's heart sank as she closed the door behind her. She definitely did read their relationship wrong. If she hadn't, why had her Boss reacted the way she did? Why was she scared of talking about this with Dice? Why'd she kiss her in the first place?

Queen Dice should've just dropped it. It wasn't worth it if the demon would just run away and refuse to talk about it.

But Dice was a stubborn woman, almost too stubborn for her own good.

[mcflymemes]

THE DARK KNIGHT PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the 2008 film

what do you propose?

you know what i am?

you're garbage who kills for money.

i'm just ahead of the curve.

you know what i've noticed?

i promise you, the dawn is coming.

maybe we can share one.

the world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance.

you crossed the line first.

this city just showed you that it's full of people ready to believe in good.

you have no idea.

criminals aren't complicated.

very poor choice of words.

that's a lot of money.

i want my phone call.

what happened to the rest of the guys?

you know they'll be doubling up.

you were the best of us.

think you're smart, huh?

well, hello beautiful.

what do you believe in?

nobody panics when things go according to plan.

sometimes the truth isn't good enough.

never start with the head.

i won't kill you because you're just too much fun.

i'm going to tell them the whole thing was your idea.

i don't want to kill you!

let's give someone else a chance.

why was it me who was the only one who lost everything?

see, i'm not a monster.

you look nervous.

upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos.

let me get this straight.

what did you do?

so why steal them?

a little fight in you. i like that.

what were you trying to prove?

you remind me of my father.

i think you and i are destined to do this forever.

all you care about is money.

i suppose they'll lock me up as well.

some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money.

i'm gonna make this pencil disappear.

can't rely on anyone these days.

we burned the forest down.

do you want to know why i use a knife?

they need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out.

don't talk like one of them.

you either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

let's put a smile on that face.

if i tell you, will you let me go?

i want you to do it.

if it's so simple, why haven't you done it already?

if you're good at something, never do it for free.

sometimes people deserve more.

you're a lucky man.

some men just want to watch the world burn.

this city deserves a better class of criminal.

what would i do without you?

why do you want to kill me?

i'm an agent of chaos.

there's somebody here for you.

you complete me.

don't talk like one of them.

you couldn't just let me go, could you?

they're only as good as the world allows them to be.

when the chips are down, these civilized people, they'll eat each other.

i'm gonna give it to them.

i just did what i do best.

what have you done with him?

they brought the body.

killing is making a choice.

you have all these rules and you think they'll save you.

why so serious?

does it depress you? to know just how alone you really are?

we decided to act!

this is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

i'll show you.

you see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. all it takes is a little push.

i can tell the difference between punks who need a little lesson in manners, and the freaks like you who just enjoy it.

you die.

you truly are incorruptible, aren't you?

what's the time?

you have nothing to threaten me with.

what difference does that make?

guns are too quick. you can't savor all the little emotions.

i don't want there to be any hard feelings between us.

do i really look like a guy with a plan?

i'm gonna need a cup of coffee.

this is different.

we're not intimidated by thugs.

the night is darkest just before the dawn.

i know your friends better than you ever did.

they crossed the line.

i enjoy dynamite, and gunpowder, and gasoline.

i hated my father.

you wanna know how i got these scars?

you thought we could be decent men in an indecent time.

would you like to know which of them were cowards?

how many of your friends have i killed?

you won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness.

[lino-jagiyaa]

forget me not - lee minho

genre: angst | pairing: minho × gender neutral reader I warnings: breakups, heartbreak, swearing, mentions of self-doubt & depression, lying, toxic communication & behavior, dishonesty, jealousy | masterlist | words: 5224 | do not repost or translate ©︎ lino-jagiyaa

song recs: good enough - xdinary heroes {i’m so sorry, this song is so sad but just trust me.} then a happier song to go with the ending | feel special - twice

taglist: @dadonbabysworld @lynanist @lix-ables @comet-falls @strayingawayy @alyszaen

note : so sorry it took me forever to finish this and that it ended up so long 😭 but don’t worry, there's a happy ending !! i tried my best to proofread all of it but if i missed something or missed a warning, pls lmk! ♡

💭 things between and minho didn't seem to work out. but maybe now you're starting to see things from his perspective

—

—

losing minho took a toll on you. most breakups would do that to anyone, but this one, this one was nothing like any breakup you’ve ever had. he was special to you. hell, you envisioned a future with him. moving in together, marriage, kids even.

but that all ended the day he decided to break your heart. he simply left and never looked back. or was there more to it? there had to be an explanation for his actions. he wouldn’t just leave without reason, would he?

all the questions racking your brain. it’s been six months. six months without him. six months of losing sleep over the emptiness and cold of his side of your bed. six months without speaking to him, only ever hearing how he’s doing through mutual friends and nothing more.

you felt as though you were losing your mind. obsessing over the possibilities of what could have been. what you could’ve missed. what were you missing? you blamed yourself, having no other explanation in your head. the only thing that stuck.

you couldn’t stop thinking back to that day. what he said to you, how he said it, how he pushed you away. sure, he was always a bit reserved. always had been since the day you met him. but that day, that day was so much different. he pushed you away and you couldn’t do anything to stop it or convince him to stay.

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•

“minho, please. please talk to me!”

“i can’t do this, i have to go.”

his face emotionless, trying to cover up the pain and guilt he was carrying. his back turned to you now as he grabbed his bag, and headed for the front door.

“is this it? are you breaking up with me?,” you reached out to grab his arm to make him face you

“don’t touch me.” he nudged you off of him

“min, please! is it something i did? i can’t lose you, just talk to me!” you pleaded

“this is what’s best for both of us. i’m sorry, y/n.”

he turned to you one more time before opening the front door, standing in the doorway for a few seconds before making his way back to his car.

“how could you!? you’re a coward you know, can’t even fucking face me and explain yourself,” you screamed, hot tears falling from your eyes and blurring your vision as you broke down. hearing the door finally click close. the whole thing felt painfully slow.

your friends would always sympathize with you, trying to assure you that everything is okay and that minho just had ‘things to sort out within himself’, but it just didn’t seem right. they were hiding something from you. they had to be.

so here you are, six months after the breakup, sitting in your sociology class waiting for it to end. you had to get to the bottom of this. find out what was really going on in minho’s head.

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•

“minho,” chan starts

“hm?”

“can i ask you something?”

“of course, hyung. what is it?” he questioned, “promise you won’t get mad, okay?”

“spit it out already,” he sighed

“do you miss y/n?”

“no.” minho looks away

“i don’t believe you.”

“you should, it’s the truth.” he huffed

“min, i see the way you look at them when they’re not looking. you must care about them a little, right?”

minho stayed silent. he didn’t want to be having this discussion right now, not at all really. he just didn’t want to think about the way he hurt you.

“don’t lie to me. you can still fix things, you know.” chan continues

“would you just stop it already!? i don’t want to talk about this anymore, chris. i can’t.”

tears started to swell in minho’s eyes. he wanted to fix things between the two of you, and he does. he just doesn’t know how. he doesn’t want to hurt you even more than he already has. but he knows that chan is right, he has to at least try.

“let me ask you this one question, then i’ll stop. i won’t bring them up to you after this, okay?”

“okay.”

“do you love them?”

“y- yes.”

“then fix it. make things right between the two of you.”

“i- i don’t know how… i can’t just come back into their life after six months of silence and hurt them all over again.” minho stammered, sniffling away his tears

“how about i set up a meeting for the two of you, yeah?” chan proposed

chan could see the nervous look on minho’s face now and decided to move closer to him, softly grabbing onto his shoulders, “how about i talk to y/n and set up a time and place for you to meet up and if you’re still anxious about the whole thing by the time i’m done, i’ll go with you. sound good?”

“having you there even just observing would be good, yes.” minho replied

“okay then, it’s settled. now i’m gonna go make the call and let you know the details, okay?”

“yeah.”

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•

chan decided to text you first since he knew you still had class this hour and didn’t want to disturb you just in case you had your notifications on.

chan: hey, is your class almost over?

you: yeah. i’ve got like ten mins till.

chan: ok. can you call me like right after? i need to talk to you about something and i think it’ll be better to talk over the phone.

you: sure?

chan: thanks 👍🏼

after texting with chan you were…nervous to say the least. what was all of this about? ten minutes never felt so long. nonetheless, after the minutes passed and your last lecture of the day was over, you headed out of the room to call chan.

you: hey, you gonna tell me what’s going on?

chan: “well, good afternoon to you too.”

you: sorry, i’m just a little on edge at the moment.” you sigh

chan: i can tell. and i’m sorry to freak you out,” chan let out a nervous laugh, “but…it’s about minho. and before you hang up, i think the two of you need to sort some things out. the whole breakup is taking a toll on you both and i don’t know how long i can just sit back and watch the two of you wither away.” he stressed

you sighed before answering him, “okay.”

chan: “okay?”

you: “yes, that’s what i said. do you want me to meet up with him or not?”

chan: “y-yeah, that’d be great. thank you.”

you: "alright, text me the address and i’ll be on my way.”

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•

after the two of you hung up, you quickly made your way to your apartment to drop off your school bag and get ready for your meet-up with minho. you took a shower and tried to find a decent outfit while you quickly dry your hair. soo after, you received a text from chan telling you the address. it wasn’t far from your apartment so you had enough time to finish getting ready and hopefully shake off any nerves you had on the walk there.

chan: levanter cafe. it’s the one 7 mins away from your apartment. no rush to get here, okay? take your time.

you took one more look at yourself through your hallway mirror before putting on your shoes and walking out the door. the walk to the cafe helped you clear your thoughts more. but it was a relief you were finally getting to clear things up with minho. a second chance to really see his point of view. to understand him better.

when you walked up to the cafe, you could see chan at the counter ordering a drink so you texted him that you had arrived.

you: hey, i’m here.

almost comically, chan started looking in all directions trying to spot you, until he finally saw you step through the door. he reached out an arm to hug you when you walked up to him, “hey, you still okay to do this?” he asked “yeah, don’t worry. it’s okay.” you smiled back at him before hugging him back. “alright, i’m just checking. you know i have to.” “i know channie. where is he?” you ask “at the table in the back. oh, and here’s your drink. i know you’ll need the caffeine. here’s minho’s as well.”

you took it from him and he waved you in the direction of minho. when you got to the table, minho was still looking down at his phone, not expecting you to have arrived yet, assuming chan had come back with their drinks. so you were the first to speak.

you took a seat in the chair right in front of him and set down his and your drinks before speaking. “hi…” you started softly, not wanting to startle him. it didn’t seem to work because once he heard your voice he jumped up in his seat a little bit, putting his phone on the table and straightening up his posture.

“y/n…hi, i wasn’t sure you’d come today.”

you laughed a bit. he was nervous and you could tell. maybe more than you now. “well, i wasn’t so sure i’d show up either. but it was time.” he nods in agreement. “how about i start?” you continue, “i know it’s been hard for you, is hard for you. and it has been for me as well. like really fucking hard and i missed you and life was just shitty for a while, you know?”

“y/n, i am so sorry. i didn’t mean to hurt you. i-i should’ve handled it correctly and told you how i was feeling instead of just leaving and avoiding you.” his head hung low now as he avoided your eyes. he felt like he couldn’t face you. he felt horrible.

“so how were you feeling? what happened to us?”

he looked up now, “it wasn’t your fault. you did nothing wrong, it was all me.” tears, starting to fill his eyes

“you left me. you left and i didn’t know what to do with myself for a long time. i couldn’t eat or sleep. my whole life fell to pieces. so tell me, tell me minho what made you want to do that.”

“i didn’t want to, i swear. i just- just couldn’t figure out what i was feeling. how i was feeling. i knew that i loved you- still love you and i want to be with you but… i was scared. i was scared, y/n because i had never felt so strongly for someone as much as i did for you and i just didn’t want to fuck it up and i ended up doing it anyways. i’m so sorry for hurting you and making you feel that way. i should’ve expressed how i was feeling to you and i should’ve handled it better. i want to fix my mistakes now.” he replied, eyelashes sticking together as his tears began to fall down his face. chan monitoring from a table close by.

“i understand. it’s good that you’re letting it out now, so thank you. i want to fix things between us too. but we can’t just rush it out. we have to take our time. but other than that, i agree. that i’ve never felt what i feel for you, for anyone else and i know that it’ll stay that way forever. even if you hurt me, even if the last words you said to me was awful. i forgive you minho. we can figure this out together if you’re willing” you say, now wiping your own tears.

“i would love that. can i walk you home tonight?”

“doesn’t sound half bad. we should probably finish our drinks first and invite chan back over here before he hurts himself, the way he’s craning his neck to hear us.” you laugh

“you’re right,” minho looked over to chan and motioned for him to come to your table

nearly stumbling out of his chair, chan managed to get up and walk over to the two of you. “so?…” he questioned

“we’ve got it somewhat worked out. definitely need some more time to figure out the rest but for the most part, we’re okay.” you smile

“thank god, i was starting to lose my mind trying to get you two to talk to each other again so i’m glad.”

“oh shut up!” you and minho both replied to chan

chan just laughed at you both. he could see that the two of you did want to be together and you just needed to figure things out slowly. “but i really hope you guys start communicating better, yeah?”

“we will, i promise.” minho replies, sure that it’s the truth this time.

“oh, and once we’re done with our drinks and everything, i’m going to walk y/n home so we can talk a little more.”

“alright, i’ll leave you two lovebirds to it. do you want me to pick you up after?”

minho looked at you for an answer and you were contemplating whether you actually wanted him to go home tonight. “i mean, we can talk about it on the way there? the spare bedroom is still up for grabs if you do want to stay the night, it won't bother me having you there. especially since i haven’t seen you in so long, plus you still have clothes there if you want a shower…”

“oh…yeah that would be nice, thank you.” minho trailed off, trying to distract from the blush growing on his cheeks, acknowledging chan was still there while you were mentioning him spending the night

“well then, i think that’s my cue to leave,” chan chuckled, “text me when you two get there okay?”

“okay, and thanks again… for everything,” you reply

“of course, have a good night you two.”

chan leaves and the two of you just sit there in silence for a bit before heading out yourselves after throwing away your empty cups and waving the baristas goodnight. the walk home seemed slower than usual tonight. like the two of you were too caught up in each other to notice how slowly you were walking. “y/n,” minho called to you, snapping you out of your thoughts. “yeah?”

“um… would it be okay if i took you on a date sometime tomorrow?”

“that would be nice, minho. yes.”

“great, great. we can plan for it together if you want. only since i’m not sure where i want to take you, only that i know i want to spend the day with you,” he laughed nervously, scratching the nape of his neck.

“sure thing. we can figure it out when we get inside so come on.” you say as you unlock and drag him through the front door of your apartment.

after settling in, the both of you had taken showers and changed into comfier clothes and decided to watch something together in your living room. the two of you sat in the comfortable silence of each other’s presence for a while before you decided to break the ice. “hey, min?”

“hm?” he turned to face you with the softest look on his face.

“oh, i just was wondering if you wanted to take the guest room tonight? it’s already set up. but you don't have to sleep in there tonight if you don’t want-”

“where do you want me to sleep tonight?” he said gently, turning his whole body to face you now and resting his hands in the space separating the two of you. it took you a second to respond to him. you wanted to make sure you said the right thing, not wanting to push him away or push any boundaries since the two of you had just started to reconnect only today.

“well, i’m not opposed to you sleeping in my room. o-only if you want to of course. it’s no pressure if you don’t. and-” you were babbling and waving your hand defensively, so minho gently grabbed onto both of them, holding them in his own to calm you down.

“y/n, it’s okay. i’m comfortable as long as you are, so wherever you’re the most comfortable with me sleeping tonight is where i’ll stay.” he gave you a soft smile to reassure you.

you were relieved, to say the least. your mind still racing on the fact that he’s sitting in front of you right now, holding your hands.

“do you just wanna call it a night and sleep now? i’ve noticed the way you’ve looked exhausted since we got home, it’s okay to get some rest.”

“of course you’d notice,” you laugh

“well that’s what happens when you’ve been in love with someone for so long. now come on, i’ll stay with you for a while then go to the guest room if you get sick of me,” minho laughed back, grabbing you by the arm and dragging you to your once shared room.

you felt your face heat up at his comment, yet you say nothing.

once the two of you were settled in, you both just sat on opposite sides of the bed facing towards your bedroom door, not sure if you should talk or just go to bed.

“well…i should probably try to go to sleep now. goodnight minho.” you blurt out and carefully roll onto your side, so as not to accidentally bump into minho.

“alright. sweet dreams, y/n. i’ll sleep in a bit. i’m not too tired yet.”

“that’s fine,” you say as you close your eyes

—

you had been asleep for an hour, maybe an hour and a half when you felt minho shifting on the bed. your back was facing him so you couldn’t see him at all but you noticed he was kind of tossing and turning. it was obvious he couldn’t fall asleep but you didn’t say anything or make it obvious at all that you were awake now.

minho huffed, now laying on his back and with his arms on top of the blanket you two shared. you kept your eyes closed, attempting to get back to sleep, hoping minho would finally be able to as well. but that wasn’t the case.

a few minutes goes by and you assumed minho had ust falle asleep since he hadn’t really moved in a while, but as soon as you had almost drifted back to sleep, minho leaned a little closer to your side of the bed.

“y/n, are you asleep?”

“hm?” you reply

“sorry to wake you, i just couldn’t fall asleep.”

you turn on your other side to face him, “no, no. it’s okay minho, what do you need?”

“um, if it’s okay with you, can we cuddle? if you’re not comfortable, it’s okay. i’ll just go for a walk or something to get tired.” minho says, looking away from you

“no, it’s too late to go for a walk,” you thought about it for a second before answering, “it’s okay. we can cuddle.” you gave him a reassuring smile

“a-are you sure? you don’t have to, it’s fine-”

“i know. i figure you haven’t been sleeping well lately either?”

“yeah.”

“well, we can fix that today then.” you tell him, scooting closer to him and moving his arms to frame your waist. nuzzling your face into his chest to get comfortable.

“goodnight minho.”

“goodnight.” you waited a bit to make sure he was actually asleep before drifting off yourself. you knew it was time once you felt his chest slowly rise and fall and his heartbeat matching the speed of yours.

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•

when you woke up, the sun was peeking through your curtains and you groaned. wanting to stretch and shield your eyes from what felt like blinding light shining in your face. but you couldn’t move much. you had almost forgotten that minho had stayed over last night when you looked up and say that he was still holding onto you but he seemed to be fully awake now, scrolling on his phone.

“good morning sleepy head,” he smirked

you groaned again before replying, “why are you up so early?”

“early? honey, it’s already 10 am. you’re lucky it’s already the weekend, otherwise you’d be late to class.”

you almost jumped out of bed after hearing him. “what!? minho, why did you let me sleep so late? weren’t we supposed to go out today?” you complained

“y/n, it’s fine,” he laughed at your concern, “ we hadn’t even made a solid plan about it yet, remember? you were sleepy so i was waiting till morning to bring it up again.”

you slump back down in the bed, now laying on your back and staring at the ceiling. “oh, that’s right. well then did you end up thinking of somewhere to go?”

minho put his phone down on his lap, “mm, at first i was thinking we could go for a walk in the park and then have a picnic there but then i was thinking about how you haven’t seen soonie, doongi, and dori in a while and that you probably miss them. would you like to see them today?”

“yeah, i do miss seeing them. but i also think going for a walk and a picnic is a good idea too,” you smile

“okay, then that’s what we’ll do.” he smiled back

“oh, don’t you have to go back to your place to change and everything?” you ask

“mhm. i’ll do that when you’re getting ready and once you’re done you can text me and i’ll be back to pick you up.”

“sounds good- wait…i still have you blocked…”

minho laughs, “i get it. at least you didn’t get a new number or delete my contact. so it’s fine.”

you awkwardly laugh and go to grab your phone so you could unblock him.

“check if you can text me now.”

he typed something short and a second later your phone pinged with his message. you also realized you had changed his contact name, but you weren’t going to let him know that part.

—

minho had called chan to let him know that he needed to be picked up and would be going back over to your place after showering and getting everything ready for your date. so once chan pulled up in your driveway, you walked with minho to your front door to wake goodbye to chan who was waiting in his car for him. once the two of them left, you went to go take your shower.

stepping out of the shower, you dried yourself off and went to search for an outfit. you wanted something casual since you were going to end up playing around with minho’s cats but you also wanted something cute since you were going on your first date with minho in forever. in the end, you had decided on a simple short-sleeved top that you could pair with a cardigan if the weather became more windy. and you were going to pair it with a pair of black corduroy pants.

looking at yourself in the mirror, you caught yourself smiling. you were so excited to finally be back in minho’s life and him in yours. and you could tell he was just as excited, considering the way he acted the night before and this morning.

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•

once you were done getting yourself ready, you wanted to bring something with you for the picnic so that minho wasn’t the only one showing up with food so you texted chan to see what minho was going to bring.

you: hey, chan? are you with minho rn? chan: yeah, something wrong? you: no, nothing is wrong. i was just wondering what minho was packing for our picnic date and didn’t want to ask him directly since i wanted what i’m bringing to be a surprise. chan: ah, i see. he’s still cooking right now but he said he was bringing ox bone soup and dumplings. he didn’t say anything about drinks so you could probably bring those? you: okay thank you. chan: yeah, no problem

---

with what chan had told you about the food minho was bringing, you decided to make some gimbap and go out to buy your and minho’s favorite drinks from the convenience store that was within walking distance from your apartment. after grabbing the drinks, you found some candy that you thought minho might want to share with you so you bought that and the drinks and headed back home to make the gimbap.

since you only had one thing to make, it didn’t take you very long so you packed the food and snacks up into bento boxes and wrapped them in a cloth so they would stay together on the way to the park. you made sure you had everything you needed in your bag before texting minho letting him know that you were ready for him to pick you up.

it didn’t take him long to pull into your driveway and once he did, you grabbed your things and made sure your door was locked.

“hey, you all set?” minho asks you with a smile as you open the passenger door “mhm,” you smile back “oh you brought food? you didn’t have to, i had made some as well.” “i know. i wanted to surprise you. but don’t worry, it’s something small and some drinks for us.” “ooh okay, well then we can head off now.”

—

the drive back to minho’s place was filled with the soft music that played on his radio and the comfortable silence you shared. you just stared out your window, lost in your own thoughts as you watched the city pass by.

“we’re here,” minho said as he pulled into his driveway

it felt kind of strange being back at his apartment after all this time but in the same moment, it felt good being able to be here and not feel that churning feeling in the pit of your stomach. you didn’t feel anxious or worried. everything right now feels good and happy.

as soon as minho opened the door, his cats came swarming at him but they stopped as soon as they noticed you were right behind him. you thought it was maybe because they had forgotten you or didn’t like you anymore, but that was far from the case.

the three of them looked so happy to see you again. all nudging against your ankles and meowing for your attention. so you crouched down to pet them properly and it seemed as though they were all fighting for your attention, now ignoring minho as he attempted to greet them some more.

you had somewhat forgotten that some animals' perception of time is frayed. a day can feel like a long time, never mind six months. but luckily, the sweet cats that you missed had remembered you and were visibly happy to see you.

after playing with them for what felt like hours, minho haad ordered dinner in for the two of you so you ate while watching a drama before calling it a night.

minho drove you home as the sun started setting. the drive back to your place felt so calm. the sound of the wind brushing past your ears and minho kept stealing glances at you every once in a while. once the two of you got back to your apartment, minho had insisted in walking you back to your door.

“our date today was perfect, hopefully you feel the same.” minho smiled

“mhm, i had so much fun. it was nice to go out again.” you reply, smiling ear to ear

“maybe i can take you on another date soon, if you’d like?” he asked

“i’d love that, minho”

he held onto your hands just like he had a few hours before, you were kind of glad that he was making all of the first moves. you were nervous to mess something up.

“y/n?”

“yes?”

“can i…kiss you?”

“i was wondering when you were going to ask. yes, minho.”

with that, he leaned in, planting the softest kiss to your lips. you missed this feeling. you missed this feeling with him. the butterflies growing in your stomach as minho gently placed a hand on your face. he smiling into the kiss, which was driving you crazy.

when the both of you pulled away, you could feel the redness forming on your face and see the way minho’s was the same. “you have no idea how much i missed doing that.” minho laughed

“oh, trust me. i do.”

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•

weeks had gone by since your first do over date with minho and the two of you were on great terms. since then, the two of yu had been going on weekly dates. and those weekly dates turned into dates two days a week. soon enough, the both of you were starting to consider yourselves a couple again. spending almost everyday with each other if possible. that meant walking each other to classes on school days, driving the other to work depending on who had earlier hours, and hanging out anytime in between.

everything between you was starting to come together again. and the two of you were sure this time that you’d make it work no matter what.

you gotta fight for what you love, right?

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

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