#you can clearly see in my face that I am in the process of sobbing but you know what it was v healing and this picture really eats

[prettyboybuck]

Hey, I’m 28 now

[alwaysanundertone]

Love can be overwhelming | poly! marauders x reader

angst

word count: 1.4 k

CW: mention of abusive household

tag list: @reggieswriter @call-me-mishi @moonyxoxo

part 1, part 2, part 3

Losing a Quidditch game usually resulted in James and Sirius taking their anger out on you, which you didn’t mind at all, but today was different. This time, Remus wasn’t going to leave you with the boys, Sirius was clearly upset with you, and James was probably going to be pissed for the loss.

You took a deep breath, taking Remus’s hand in yours and going straight to your dorm, waiting for your other boyfriends. You were pacing the room in front of Remus, the anxiety eating you alive; what you hated the most was the fact that you knew for sure that Sirius was mad at you.

“I’m an awful person, Rem, I couldn’t give Siri the attentions he needed when he was in pain“

“That’s right, you didn’t!” Sirius entered your room, James behind him. “I thought that being in a polyamorous relationship meant that I could count on three people when I was sad, instead you left me with poor James, do you want to stop this relationship now? So that you and Remus can go live happily ever after?! What the fuck, Y/N”

You felt your breath quicken, you knew that if he kept this up, you were going to break. “Sirius, you have to understand that- “

“No! None of that, I don’t want to hear it! You know what, Y/N? You’re just as heartless as everybody says, I was just too blind to see how the rumours were true.” You felt a pang to your chest, you knew that Sirius didn’t mean what he was saying, but it hurt you still. You spent your whole life battling against the fact that you usually didn’t know how to show love to the people you cared about, but you thought you’ve been good to them, you thought that all your efforts were seen. “You don’t give a fuck about other people’s wellbeing; you didn’t even ask me what happened! If we lost today, it was all your fault, you’re a self-centred-“

“Knock it off, Black. You don’t get to treat her like that! Just because your family is treating you like shit doesn’t mean you have to make everybody else feel what you’re feeling.”

“Remus, you’re the one to talk” You whipped your head in James’s direction. “You are the reason behind this mess, if you could control your stupid instincts everything would have been fine, and we’d be here celebrating our victory”

He scoffed. “Yeah, because it’s my fault if you both suck at Quidditch, isn’t it?” They kept on bickering, but you weren’t listening to them anymore, your mind too focused on Sirius words. You hated yourself for not being enough for them, maybe Dorcas was right, maybe you should have thought about it before diving headfirst in a poly relationship; you weren’t even sure if you were made for a relationship, period.  

“What, Y/N, too focused on yourself to care about our feelings?”

You decided you had enough, you needed time to think, and Sirius anger wasn’t helping you at all. “You know what? Yes, I am, because the ones who were supposed to love me just treated me like everybody else. So go fuck yourself, next time you’ll need me, I’ll be gone” You stormed off their dorm, running to your room and casting a spell, leaving them behind.

As you were about to start sobbing, Dorcas entered the room, sighing as she saw you on your bed. “You were right, Cas, maybe I’m not made for a relationship”

She shook her head, hugging you tightly. “Shh, don’t think about it now, okay? Tomorrow you’ll have time to process all of this, now you just have to rest.” She started scratching your back, singing a lullaby, and you found yourself falling in a deep slumber.

“Hey, Y/N” You mumbled something, covering your face with the duvet. “Y/N. It’s 2 P.M., you have to start studying”

That made you sit up so quickly, you felt dizzy. “Shit, the test” How could  you be so dumb?  Sacrificing all of the work you put to ace this test for a stupid fight was really pathetic, even for you.

“Yeah, the test, listen I finished your notes and made you some flashcards, now you just have to start studying, but first you should eat-“

The idea of seeing the marauders made you physically ill. “I don’t want to go-“

“Yes, I know, I brough you some food” She shook a paper bag in front of you. The fact that she spent her morning doing your work and even brought you food made you feel really close to crying, and she noticed it. “Nope, no more crying. I know you, you’re about to thank me, don’t do that! I’m your best friend, I love you and this is nothing, okay? I just want you to be happy, and I know you will feel like shit if you don’t pass this test. So, start studying, okay?” She kissed the top of your head. “I got to go, Marlene’s waiting for me. Love you, bye!”

She left you on the bed, staring at the now closed door.

You looked at the sandwich: she knew you too well, if she didn’t bring you food you wouldn’t have eaten, but since she brought it to you, you felt guilty.

You pulled out your flashcards and started eating, you could be heartbroken, but you wouldn’t allow yourself to fail for your stupid feelings.

Meanwhile, Sirius just woke up. His head was feeling heavy, but most of all, he was regretting every single thing he said to you. Deep down, he knew that you were just trying to be there for everyone, and that it wasn’t an easy task. Remus didn’t control his instincts; he couldn’t blame him for being clingy.

“Someone’s decided to grace us with his presence” The werewolf was looking down at him, his brows furrowed: he knew that look, he was mad.

“I’m so, so sorry” And just like that came the tears. Remus was stubborn, but if there was something that made him cave, that was his lovers’ tears, so he hugged him close to his chest. “I was awful to you yesterday, Y/N is going to leave us, I know it, and I hate to be the one to do this to you. If you want to leave me I will understand”

James scoffed. “Leave you? You really think we are this heartless? We know you didn’t want to act like that, Sirius. We just want to know what is happening, and then we’ll go and apologize to Y/N”

Remus scratched his head. “Thing is, I don’t know how we will get to her. I went to her room earlier and Cas was about to physically fight me”

“She won’t fight us, Rem, for God’s sake we’re Y/N’s boyfriends, she can’t stand between us. Back to you, Sirius, can you tell us why you acted that way?”

The long-haired man sighed. “It’s just- You know how awful the relationship with my family is, and I know it’s wrong but when I get their letters I don’t want to talk about it, I just expect everyone to know how I’m feeling and what to do about it. So, when she wasn’t there for me this time, I lashed out. Rationally, I know that Remus wasn’t being clingy because he didn’t want to share her, but because he gets super protective during the full moon. I hate myself for treating her that way, for using her weakness against  her, but I didn’t know how to communicate how I was feeling, so I just took my anger out on her, in the wrong way” He chuckled sadly. “If I was her, I’d break up with me.”

James shook his head. “She’s too good for her own good, Sirius, you know she won’t ever leave you. But we’ll have to talk it out, you know? You’ll have to be vulnerable, and I know  it’s difficult, but you’ll have to try for us”

Sirius nodded, everything for you. James pulled out the map, but as soon as he saw your name, gasped.

“What? What have you seen?”

“Y/N is in the infirmary” They exchanged a look, running out of their dorm room.

[sucodelaranja86]

Can we have some hyunju x male!reader comforting her please maybe a little cuddling and a kiss.....

- I'm here : ★

featuring: hyun-ju cho x reader

summary: As you finally come home after a long day of work, you find a not-so-great view of the state your girlfriend is in.

warnings: body dysmorphia

A/N: my writing motivation is back yipee :33 i am also experimenting new styles :))

★ . ★ . ★ . ★

‣ as you wearily reached the door to your small apartment, every step felt like a weight coming out of your tired shoulders. Your day at work had been long and exhausting, and now you want nothing more than to lay down on your cheap sofa and lay your head in the broad neck of your lovely girlfriend.

‣ your hands fumbled in your pockets to find your key, the cold metallic sensation on your fingers bringing an instant relief to your face. As you quickly inserted the key into the lock, the apartment's old door opened with a creaky sound, the sight of the small keychain Hyun-ju had gifted you warming your exhausted heart. As you stepped inside your home, the cozy atmosphere engulfed you rapidly as you let out a satisfied sigh. ― Hyun-ju, I'm home. ― you softly called.

‣ as you took off your shoes and hanged your jacket, you softly seated on the couch with a satisfied sight. After not hearing a verbal response, nor smelling the familiar scent of her food, you decided to check each room of your small habitation.

‣ ― hyun-ju? I'm home, dear. ― you repeated yourself. This time, more firmly. As you were about to continue your search, you stopped on your tracks as you heard soft sobs coming from the bathroom, the lights on and the door slightly open.

‣ as you approached the room and finally opened the door, you were met with the sight of no one other than your beloved girlfriend, who was currently crying her eyes out while sitting on the cold floor. She was hugging her knees while hiding her face, through you could clearly see her red, tear stained cheeks.

‣ you quickly crouched down to her level, startling the short-haired girl on the process. You put both arms around her body while trying to understand the situation.

‣ ― hyun-ju? What happened, my love-?! ― you asked while putting one of your hands on her chin, carefully tilting her head towards you, now finally having a clear view of the situation.

‣ you could see her surprised face now, her beautiful eyes irritared and her cheeks wet from tears. ― love? I- i didn't see you entering- i... ― as her stuttering voice reached your ears, you tried to deduce what happened judging by the atmosphere of the bathroom in general. The mirror had makeup stains, while her makeup kit was thrashed around the floor everywhere, alongside with small bottles of nail polish, hair products and... Was that a skirt on the trash bin?

‣ as if something clicked inside your head, the situation turned obvious as you mentally facepalmed. Nonetheless, you decided to not ask further questions as you helped her get up, she complied as you easily pulled her up, noticing her shaky legs as she continued her soft sobbing.

‣ you sat her down on the couch, the vision of her trembling body making your heart ache. Even so, you still found the strength to untangle yourself off of her and grab the warmest blanket you two have. As you came back almost running to the couch, she was already laying down, an ashamed expression on her face.

‣ you quickly wrapped her tall figure around in the blanket, she didn't seen to have any complaints. You softly kissed her forehead, laying down on top of her while you continued planting kisses all over her face.

‣ you didn't stop until you felt her body soften and her facial features relax. Watching her body go from stiff and shaky to a completely relaxed manner. You didn't stop until you were completely sure she was not feeling bad anymore, and that each of her tears had been properly wiped.

‣ as you felt her slow and calm breathing indicating the start of her peaceful slumber, you could finally rest your eyelids in peace, knowing that things were going well, at least for now.

★ . ★ . ★ . ★

[sp4ceboo]

NO NEED FOR ME TO HIDE🙏🏾🙏🏾

Bestie, are you going to continue Atonement universe?🥺 I am very curious on how their interactions could look like in the future, now that they have an accurate understanding of their intents

A/N: U ASKED JUST THE RIGHT QUESTION MY FAVOURITE BUNNY, but bc im evil i've made this into a bunch of feyd headcanons even tho no one asked

tw: 18+, smut headcanons (switch feyd ladies and gents), cannibalism (by the harpies), i dropkick everyone with feyd's trauma, therefore mentions of sa and pedophilia (fuck you vladimir), 'who did this to you' because man if that's not one of the yummiest things ever, nightmares, children and pregnancy, also sterility, swearing somewhere probably,

wc: 2.3k

part 1 (this can be read as a stand alone, it's just feyd headcanons)

feyd does everything he can to make up for how he treated you in the first months of your marriage

you assure him that it's fine, that he doesn't have to beat himself up over what he has done, but you still notice the pain in his eyes when he looks at you

he hovers close to you at all times, keeping a hand at the small of your back or pulling you close into his side

it's a strange process, only getting to know your husband in the fourth month of your marriage, but it's a process that you treasure

you'll ask him silly things from his favourite food to his opinions on the carvings on the table over there whenever the questions occur to you

it's late at night, while he's gently cleaning you up after sex or holding you tightly in his arms, your head tucked under his chin, when he tells you the deeper, more painful things

the grief in his voice is so raw as he describes to you how his uncle pitted him and rabban against each other from a young age, how his childhood was stolen from him - you ache for him, for the things that were taken from him before he could even fight for them

you find out about his nightmares soon after that - not because he tells you, but because one happens

you suspect there was something he wasn't quite ready to tell you, but you didn't press; no hands have handled feyd's heart the way he lets you, and you're determined to honour that privilege

a storm howls outside, and you think that the rumbles of thunder were what woke you

you turn over and realise it's feyd, his features contorted with fear even in his sleep, eyes rolling under the lids as he trembles, broken pleas leaving his lips

all you catch is a 'don't' and a 'please, uncle'

something cold slithers down your spine

touching his face, you grab his shoulder, shaking him, whispering his name, trying to wake him gently

a tear leaks down his cheek, and a meek sound leaves him, ripping your heart in two - you need to wake him up, free him from this dream

'feyd.'

his eyes snap open, and in them, you clearly see the expression of a trapped, cornered animal

you say his name again, and he looks at you sharply, unseeing

he's awake and yet somehow he's still trapped in the nightmare; he wraps his hands around your throat, and you gasp, nails digging into his forearms in an effort to wake him up

with precious air, you rasp out his name again, and he blinks, slowly gaining consciousness

his face crumples when he finds his hands around your neck

distress limns his features as he backs away from you, shaking his head, horrified by his own doing

your head spins with lack of air but you reach out to him, refusing to let him slip away - you snare him in your arms, hold him tightly, kiss his face

he doesn't move, afraid to hurt you

you pull back to stare him in the eyes

'i'm okay. i am okay. you hear me, feyd? i'm fine. i'm not hurt.'

he buries his face in your shoulder and when you feel hot tears on your skin, rage simmers and seethes, wrathful in your chest

'who did this to you?'

your voice is dripping with fury; he shakes with a sob, and you run your hands up and down his back, trying to soothe him and the anger inside you

eventually, he calms, and you tilt his face up, gently wiping the tears off his cheeks, waiting

he holds out his arms again, and you oblige him, letting him hide his face in your shoulder as he tells you the substances of his nightmares - memories of the baron, eyes rabid, hands reaching, and it makes you tremble with rage

you crush feyd in your grip, and he clings onto you, his eyes wet, letting you anchor his drowning spirit

the two of you fall asleep twined together, feyd cradled in your embrace

in the morning, you cup his face in your hands and tell him that you will protect him, fight for him, love him until your blood stills in your veins

one of the first thing feyd does is dismiss his harpies from their duties

originally, he was going to get rid of them permanently, but you convinced him not to, telling him you wanted to meet them

to be honest, feyd didn't really understand (he thought you wanted to 'use' them for a bit and was kind of taken aback until you reassured him you just wanted to talk to them)

he stayed in the room anyways, knowing that his harpies could be jealous, but he had nothing to fear

all you do is chat to them, and in the same way you charmed him, you charm them

feyd marvels at the way you reach out to them and connect with them with so much ease, laughing and joking with them, complimenting their pretty eyes and tattoos as if they are your long time friends

from then on, they are no longer feyd's harpies, but yours

they accompany you around the palace and sometimes to court

the latter causes quite a stir; none of the nobles can make sense of why the na-baron's feral cannibal troupe are now dressed in fine clothing and following the na-baronness around

you enjoy their company - they brighten your day considerably, and are not afraid to make remarks a little too loudly in front of nobles

you have to hide your laughter when one of them comments on the scruffy facial hair of the duke addressing feyd, even more so when he stares at them wide eyed, a little fearful of them

in a way, they protect you and you protect them

if a noble approaches you with disrespect, they'll joke loudly among themselves about the taste of his flesh

in the same way, if someone makes a snide remark of their presence, you're quick to challenge it

the perplexed look on feyd's face amuses you to no end when he realises they prefer you now

feyd and the harpies teach you about harkonnen culture

feyd especially tells you stories about how he hunted on forests long cut down when he was a boy, and you love to listen to him, watching his face and drinking in the softer, nostalgic tone in his voice

he shows himself to you in little ways

feyd complains to you about the nobles in the court, how he hates their decorum and their entitlement

he talks to you for hours about different fighting forms, occasionally getting up to demonstrate them to you, and you marvel at the accuracy and fluidity of his movements

he takes you to his favourite parts of giedi prime, shows you the volcanoes and the less polluted parts of the capital city

he tells you the story of every scar on his body, and you find yourself captivated by the look in his eyes as he recalls a good fight

he whispers on your skin promises - promises of love, sweet on his tongue but never cloying, always true

in turn he asks you about your old life, about your home planet and your family

you answer happily, loving the way his eyes follow you, their blue tone becoming your favourite colour

you tell him about the time you visited to see him fight, how you saw the fire within him even then, and he chuckles, enthralled by the idea that even when the two of you were too young to really comprehend what your arranged marriage meant, you were still drawn to each other

he tells you how when he raised his knife, victorious, he spotted you in the crowd - a small girl, her back ram rod straight - and thought you were the sweetest thing he'd ever laid his eyes on

not that you seemed breakable to him; no, he thought you were formidable, too, not even bothering to hide your frown in an arena of cheering, happy faces

it felt right that he would marry a woman who wasn't afraid of him

feyd teaches you how to fight

he delights in the way you grow so bold with him, delivering snarky remarks if he teases you, rising to meet everything he throws at you

you're a good fighter - unpredictable in your moves - and he's immeasurably proud that he was the one who taught you

sometimes, once you're good enough to duel, you'll end up staggering to the nearest somewhat secluded area to fuck

now that you know you're not alone, you're so confident of yourself, confident in the electrifying look in your eyes and confident in the way you make him beg

feyd never thought he'd like to give up control, but with you it's addicting

he trusts you

he lets you ravage him, lets you use him until he's spent, panting, thighs shaking, knowing that you would let him do the same - knowing that you do let him do the same

there's something so raw about letting himself go in your touch

his head spins when you tie him up, your deft fingers checking the knots and tightening the bindings across his torso, making art with his skin as the canvas

feyd is addicted to you in every aspect

he can't get enough of your pussy; he'd spend hours between your legs, pulling sounds out of you that you didn't know you could make

he thinks that the closest he's ever come to heaven is when he's buried balls deep in your cunt while you beg him harder, faster

A/N: i couldn't choose between these two scenarios so have both

EITHER after almost a year, you begin to wonder why you haven't pregnant

especially with the way feyd fucks you

so you seek the help of a doctor - the test results come back a week after, accusatory, damning

you're sterile

your first reaction is to tell feyd, but once you find yourself face to face with him, his gaze concerned as he holds your waist, you can't tell him

you just fall into his arms, staying your tears, doubts crawling into your skull and gnawing at the edges of your mind

you can't give him an heir

there's no way around it

what if he takes a concubine? what if he realises you serve no purpose to him? what if he stops loving you?

feyd doesn't pry about the tests results until the next day when he finds you in the shower, hands trembling and head bowed

he tips your chin up so he can look you in the eye

'tell me what troubles you, my love.'

so you do, with his fingers curled around your waist, the shower water running over your skin

he kisses you once you finish, and it tears at his heart the way you're looking up at him, trying to hide the worry in your eyes as you wait for his reply

feyd doesn't mince his words when he tells you that he doesn't care if you cannot give him an heir, that all he asks of you is to let him love you - it's then that the tears fall, and he kisses them away, holding you close to him

you grieve for the children you can never have, but feyd remains by you, almost supernatural with the way he senses your pain

your gaze might fall upon one of the servant's children, causing an ache in your heart, and within a few seconds his fingers will twine with yours and he'll tuck you into his side, kissing your hair

OR you have twins: one girl, one boy

the girl is three minutes older than the boy

feyd is obssessed with your pregnant body; he always has his hands on you in some way

he gets more protective, if that's possible

sometimes he lies between your thighs, his palms spread over your stomach as he talks to the two of them, and the softness and wonder in his eyes brings a warmth to your chest

feyd is with you when you feel the first contraction and promptly carries you to the midwives

he lets you crush his hand in your grip as you give birth to the lives you've made together, wiping the sweat off your forehead and quietly encouraging you

the first time you hand them to him to hold, he's hesitant, hands fluttering over you as he figures out what to do, but he's a fast learner

there's a fierce protective glint in his eyes when he cradles them in his arms, one that you glimpse when he looks at you too, and within it there's a deep, pure joy

he teaches them how to fight, and yet he's still so gentle with them, laughing as they giggle and cling to him, one latched onto each leg

the girl is how you'd imagine feyd was as a boy: half feral, yet charming when she wants to be, while the boy is a little calmer, more unflappable, and happy to entertain his sister's mischievous endeavours

both love the harpies, and there have been multiple times when you walk in on the twins gaping wide eyed at the harpies as they regale them with old tales

sometimes, feyd will scoop them up, one in each arm, so they can reach up and give you a little kiss on the cheek before he pecks your lips

you think it's beautiful, the family that you've made with him

feyd loves the way you look at him, with that mischief in your eyes, as if you're sharing a secret with him

he loves your sweet laughter, the softness in your hands when you touch him and how you don't shy away from protecting him, defiant even in his uncle's presence

he knows he would kill for you, die for you - he'd do anything for you

you would do the same: it makes feyd's head fuzzy, when you get so fiercely protective over him, placing your hand on his shoulder as you glare at the baron, lacing your words with venom when you address him

you'd stop at nothing, just to protect his honour

when you're after something, nothing stands in your way, and yet you can handle him with such soft, gentle hands, banishing his nightmares with the light tracing of your fingertips on his back

feyd heals in your presence, and you grow in his

your love is eternal

[frickingnerd]

friends with benefits with leo valdez

pairing: leo valdez x gn!reader

tags: suggestive / implied smut, best friends to lovers, awkward leo & reader, angst to fluff, happy ending, wholesome fluff

you were more than a friend for leo ever since the two of you first hooked up

but he felt like he had to keep his feelings for you to himself and play the part of the guy who you'll eventually mess around with and nothing more

after all, you had asked him after your first time together how he felt about you

"this doesn't mean anything, right? we're still just friends… with some added benefits now!"

leo could've sworn that he heard uncertainty in your voice, as if you were scared of his answer

he wasn't sure what you wanted to hear, if he should confess that he was head over heels for you or if he should pretend like he didn't care about you

he chose the latter, which caused those occasional hookups between you two to happen for more often since then

every time they happened, leo tried to keep you around afterwards; suggesting he cooks you something, that you two take a shower together or that you just talk a little

but no matter what he suggested, you always ran off afterwards

the only times leo got to be with you was when you were in his bed, but despite how close you were to him in that moment, you felt further away than ever before…

your relationship started to become less of a friendship and instead focused more on the benefits

and while leo certainly enjoyed those benefits, he just couldn't help but long for more

he'd do anything to go back to the way things were before, to have you back as a friend, not just someone to hook up with

eventually, he couldn't take it anymore

as you were collecting your clothes again after a session with leo, he gently grabbed your wrist and stopped you for a moment

"can you stay a little longer today? you always run off afterwards and i'd just like to be with you for a few more minutes…"

leo had this pained expression on his face and seeing him like this was breaking your heart

"i can't… i just… really need to…" but you couldn't come up with a good excuse

"you've been like this for weeks now. please, i want my best friend back…" leo's grip on your hand tightened and he slowly pulled you towards him

"we're not friends anymore…" you mumbled softly, not even thinking clearly as you said those words

"what's that supposed to mean?" leo was clearly hurt by your words, his brows narrowing as he looked at you. "am i just the guy you fuck now? why? why can't i be your friend anymore!?"

"because i love you, you idiot–!!" you snapped at leo and pulled your hand away. "but you don't see me like that…"

"you… love me?" leo still had to process what you just said.

"…i do. i said it, are you happy now? can i go now?" you couldn't stand being in the same room as him anymore. you knew you'd surely cry if you had to say another word or look at him again

"no…" leo still seemed to be in a trance-like state, slowly shaking his head. "no, you can't go. you expect me to just let you leave now?"

you were close to crying now, lowering your head and just trying to keep it together, as you pleaded with a shaky voice

"p-please… just let me–"

but before you could finish your sentence, leo had wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug

"i've been in love with you for months! i thought if i told you, i'd ruin everything we had. but to think that you felt the same way all this time…"

leo quietly sobbed against your body, before beginning to laugh through his tears

he felt relieved. all this time, he thought his feelings were unrequited. but he was wrong. thank gods, he was wrong!

"you love me too…?" you couldn't hold back your tears either, smiling as you wrapped your arms around leo as well, as he nodded quietly

"i've always loved you…"

[peggy24601]

here are my notes from last night's Les Mis performance on West End (mostly Grantaire related whoopsie)

i have way too much shit to say I still haven't processed my emotions so bear with me

Gavroche saying “Aye aye governor” to Javert right before Stars! This kid is d(￣◇￣)b💯ᵖᵉʳᶠᵉᶜᵗ

Grantaire staying carefully away from Enjolras during Red and Black… before slapping the ever living hell out of Enjolras’ butt??? Sir??? Where did that confidence come from??? 

Gavroche being Grantaire's son, and Enjolras trying to also be a figurehead for him (does he want to be included? Is he doubtful of R's capacity as a parent? You decide!) 

Everyone roasting Marius (even someone shouting “Shut up Marius”)! Beautiful! Applauded!!! 

Cosette rushing to help Éponine off the floor after Thénardier slaps her.. Then holding her hands as they stare in each other's eyes **lesbians intensifies**

Grantaire being drunk af during One Day More, but taking a step to be seen by Enjolras, then Enjolras giving him a smile and a pat on the shoulder before going in front of him!!! I can't!!! 🥺

Grantaire trying to help but also keeping himself clearly separated from the rest of the boys during Here Upon These Stones

Gavroche being a little shit™

GAVROCHE EXPOSING JAVERT, GRANTAIRE GIVING HIM HIS BOTTLE SO HE CAN PUT THE KID ON A TABLE AND GAVROCHE DOWNING IT'S CONTENT AND R JUST RUFFLING HIS HAT

Gavroche and Grantaire being the first ones to find Éponine and Marius in A Little Fall of Rain, and Grantaire holding him the whole time

Enjolras going to comfort Marius when Éponine dies and Grantaire keeping him from doing it so Gavroche can go instead

Gavroche giving Marius Éponine's hat 😭😭

Enjolras trying to go and comfort Grantaire during his existential crisis in Drink with Me, but him running away from Enjolras before Gavroche practically tackles him in a back hug on the wall!!! 

Everyone looking at Grantaire when Gavroche rushes over the barricade

Enjolras running to catch Gavroche when he's shot then giving him to Grantaire and looking absolutely destroyed

Grantaire yelling “You bastards” during the barricade call

Even after the final battle begins, Grantaire still stays back, he's not ready to start fighting yet. But then he sees Enjolras and he be running to be shot too

Grantaire’s actor's sleeve got caught on a piece of the set so his arms were in the most awkward position for the Bring Him Home reprise

Enjolras being brought out in a cart, Javert blessing Gavroche’s dead body before signaling to a police man to put him on a cart with Enjolras

Empty Chairs at Empty Tables! Enjolras and Grantaire being next to each other, then face to face, THEY'RE NARRATIVE FOILS

Valjean saying “must-a” in an almost Italian accent in Who Am I reprise…  twice

May I present M. Thénardier “I wish I would've married your sister” and his wife “I wish you were dead”

Enjolras and Grantaire holding Gavroche between them at the end of the show, Enjolras was accepted as a figurehead and Grantaire gets his man they're in paradise I'm not sobbing you are

[chimielie]

ghost in the machine

summary: Matsukawa x F!Reader. sometimes two people love each other very much. sometimes they do terrible things to each other.

word count: 1k

cw: cheating, extremely toxic relationship, no one here is likable, breakup, no happy ending

a/n: my bad i was going through something. sorry to the seijoh community. enjoy?

Issei meets you at the train station. It's dry now, but it was raining earlier—his hair is sticking to his face, curling even more than usual in the humidity. He doesn't "believe" in using umbrellas, whatever that means, or in standing beneath the rain shelter, apparently.

"Hey," you say, affecting nonchalance. The look on his face is familiar to you, signalling further storms ahead. You put your hands in his and press your mouth into a little frown. "What's wrong?

"Don't act cute," he says, glancing away, but he doesn't take his hands out of your hold. "This is—hard enough."

Issei does this thing, when he's mad at you, taking longer and longer pauses as he speaks. Leaves you hanging and still chooses all the wrong words.

"Issei, what happened?" You say. You look around, but there's no one else at the station: it's a dismal day, and his workplace is out of the way of pretty much all other human life. Fitting.

He rubs a thumb over yours, slow, pensive.

"I'm just gonna rip the band-aid off," he says, and you almost snort. There's been nothing quick about this process. "I think we should stop seeing each other."

"Another break?" You ask, trying to keep your voice light. "So you can fuck your new building receptionist?"

That's not light. Oops.

"How do you—whatever. No. That's not it. Don't be like that."

"It's what it was last time," you say, frustrated. "And Makki mentioned that he thought she was hot, which means you think she is."

"I don't, and that's not even the point," he sighs. "See, this is what I mean."

"You do," you insist. "But what is your point?"

"My point," he grits, thumb rubbing harder, strong fingers digging into your flesh so hard it almost hurts. "Is that we need to end this. Not a break. We need to break up."

"No," you say, blinking away tears. "I thought we were working on things. I thought we were better."

He pauses again. You let yourself fill up with big, stupid hope, leaning a little closer to him. All you want is one of his hugs, warm and solid and loving. Love me, you want to sob, you don't love me?

You don't, because you would be proving his point. You don't want to guilt him. You don't want to hurt him. You feel nauseous. The whole world is wrong, everything is going wrong.

He doesn’t give you what you need.

"I feel sick," he echoes your thoughts. "All the time. What we're doing to each other—I care about you, I want you to be happy. We—I don't make you happy."

"You do," you plead. "No one else makes me happy like you."

"But that's, like, five percent of the time," he says, jerking you a little closer. You know it's subconscious and it makes you emit a little noise, soft, one you don't want him to hear. "The rest of the time we, we fight, and we get petty, and we act like kids. It's not what it should be."

"I don't care what it should be," you flash. "I don't want whatever it should be. I want this. I think it's worth it. I want to fight for it."

"Well, I don't!" His eyes are burning. You think there's something shimmering in his waterline. "I'm tired. It's—you jerk me around like bait, on a string. I am tired of taking breaks, and getting back at each other, and—"

"I jerk you around?" You say. "Issei, you suggested the first break, you slept with—"

"I know what I did," his voice sounds defeated even as you can hear the underlying anger—deeper, the underlying hurt. "That's what I'm saying, we're damaged, I really don't care whose fault it is."

"Except you clearly think it's mine," you argue. It’s fucked up, that this is what fighting for your love means; how twisted has your knight-and-princess story become?

“Shut up! Just stop—just stop talking for a second.” You press your fingers tentatively to the right corner of his temple and rub small circles into the skin, knowing that’s where he gets headaches from grinding his jaw when you’re driving him crazy. He lets you for a moment, then shakes his head, bats you away. “You shouldn’t let me talk to you like that.”

“I won’t,” you say. “You won’t talk to me like that anymore.”

“That’s so fucked up,” he chokes out a laugh. His dark eyes crease so prettily when he does. “Don’t do that. With the next guy—”

“There’s no next guy!” You yelp, fingers flexing, not sure what to hold on to. If he’s letting go of his jealousy—the world tilts dizzily. He used to tell you, face in a lazy cat smile, body warm and heavy atop yours, that you’d find your next boyfriends on his mortuary table. “What, Issei, there’s not gonna be anyone else ever.”

His lips twist into a sardonic smile. He lets go of you, his hands shaking like he’s just been shocked, cartoon-style, electricity working its way through his body. You reach for him and he shoves his hands in his pockets, lets you stumble over your feet.

��I know you slept with Makki,” Issei says grimly. You stop in your tracks.

“Oh.”

“Oh,” he agreed. “Yeah.”

There’s not a lot to say to that. It doesn’t matter that it was during the worst breakup, a year ago, that it was because you’d seen him kissing one of your friends at a party. It doesn’t matter that it had been a mistake.

“I’m sorry,” you say, and the tears are rolling down your face again. Or it’s started raining. Both. “I’m so sorry. I know.”

There’s an awful screech when the train arrives—his train, going deeper into the country. Yours, back to the city, is due in eight minutes. You can’t stop anything from leaving this station.

“It’s okay. It’s like you said,” he puts his hands on his shoulders, presses a lingering kiss to your forehead, his lips wet with cold rainwater. When did it start pouring? “He thought she was hot, so so did I. I love you, so so did he.”

[girlycocksleeve]

Sometimes I write porn :) If you have any suggestions for things to write, let me know.

Tags: public use, misgendering, rape, gang rape, transphobia, forced breeding, aroused victim, public humiliation, slut shaming

He had seen news about the new laws surrounding trans men, fakeboys or cuntboys as the news called them. Hell, he had even seen men getting fucked on the street, in cafes, anywhere public. But he hadn’t considered that the new free use laws would affect him, after all, he was fully stealth and had been for years.

So, when the hand grabbed his ass on the subway to work his mind didn’t immediately jump to the fact that, legally, he was just 3 holes and a pair of tits for everyone else to use.

“Hey, what the fuck?!” He spun around to see another man grinning at him.

“Oh, come on, it’s obvious what you are.” His blood ran cold as the man reached forward and tore his button down open, revealing his binder. They were drawing stares now from other people on the subway, and hands were taking off the remains of his shirt, unbuttoning his pants, as he stood there frozen still not processing. Men pushing up his binder to reveal his C cup tits, fingers pinching and twisting his nipples, finally snapping out of his trance.

“No, no, please don’t do this.” He started struggling and immediately was being held in place as fingers found his cunt, his wet cunt.

The man who had started it laughed, “You wouldn’t be dripping if you wanted us to stop. You’re nothing but a slut like all the other cuntboys.” He wanted to sob as a finger plunged into him, then two, as someone else rubbed his clit. He hadn’t had sex in years, was practically a virgin.

All of a sudden he was being bent over and a cock was sliding through his folds before catching and entering him, stretching him open. Whoever’s cock it was clearly wasn’t in the mood to be patient and was immediately fucking into him, hard and rough, and it burned.

He went to scream and another cock forced its way into his mouth, making him gag as it hit the back of his throat.

“God, her pussy is tight.” He wanted to sob at the words, at being called “her,” but instead his cunt just clenched. The man fucking him laughed, “Seems she likes the dirty talk, huh, slut?”

He shut his eyes and tried to pretend he was anywhere else, and the man fucking his face pulled out and slapped him. “You were asked a question, bitch.”

“No, no, I-“ another slap and he sobbed.

“Don’t lie to us, we can hear how wet you are.” It was true. His cunt squelched on every thrust, his own traitorous arousal slicking the way for the rough fucking.

“Tell us how much you like getting used like the whore you are.”

“I-“ He was still getting fucked, and each time the man bottomed out it forced the air out of his chest in a way that could be interpreted as moaning. “Please stop.”

The man pulled out, the head of his cock now pushing against his ass. “If you don’t like getting your cunt fucked, maybe we should try anal instead?”

“No, no, take it out please!” He yelped the words out, pain lacing them as his virgin asshole was breached, “Please fuck my pussy.”

“Good girl, but you can do better than that.” He had stopped pushing into his ass, but he hadn’t taken his dick out, instead leaving himself still an inch deep.

“Please, please fuck my girly cunt. Please use me like the breeding bitch I am. I need your cock in my pussy please.” He hated the way the words went straight to his clit, hated the unmistakeable moan that was forced out of him as the man went back to his pussy. The cock appeared back in front of his face and without needing to be asked his was opening his mouth and started sucking, running his tongue along the underside of it.

Men took his hands and started using them to jerk themselves off, and eventually he felt someone cum on his face, a sensation that made him shudder in either disgust or arousal, although he wouldn’t admit to himself which one it was.

The man in his pussy started speeding up his thrusts, and soon he felt his orgasm building. “Gonna cum in you, knock you up. Make sure you can never hide what you are again, understand?” The words were what pushed him over the edge and he trembled through it, cunt pulsing around the cock inside him as the man made good on his word and cum flooded into him.

“Fuck, good girl.” The man pulled out and was immediately replaced by another, pushing into his oversensitive pussy, causing him to whine.

“You’re gonna swallow, understand, slut?” The man in his mouth was breathing heavy as he said the words, and seconds after was cumming into his mouth. He swallowed it down dutifully, expecting it as the cock was soon replaced by another.

Quickly he fell into a rhythm, neither pussy nor mouth getting more than a couple seconds rest. He wasn’t sure how long it had been or how many loads he had taken, but eventually it was over, and he was left on the floor of the subway. Mouth and throat aching, barely able to close, and cunt on fire from overuse.

[howlingday]

The Bad End Delusion

Opzin walked at a quick pace into the hospital.

Ozpin: Excuse me Ma'am. I am the Headmaster of Beacon Ozpin and I would like to check in on two my students here. A Jaune Arc and Nora Valkyrie.

Nurse: That way and look for room 320.

Ozpin quickly moved that way as he heard the nurse mutter those poor kids. As he found the room he knocked on the door then slowly opened it.

Ozpin: Hello? Mr.Arc, Ms.Valkyrie it's Ozpin do you mind if I come in and talk?

Nora: .....................

Jaune: ...You can come in.

As he enters the room he sees a heavily bandaged Jaune and Nora in the bright white hospital room. He's smells the dry blood and cleaners in the air.

Nora is just staring at the wall. What he can see of her face it seems she being crying for a long time and simply had no more tears. Curled up in a ball with her knees to her face.

Jaune's expression is one of anger, grief, and hopelessness. He is sitting up looking Ozpin in the eyes.

Jaune: Hello sir. I'm sure you have questions.

Ozpin: I do but those can wait for a bett-

Jaune: No. You need to know.

Ozpin: Alright tell me how a mission to check up on an old factory building in Vale went so wrong.

Jaune: Their was a Grimm like I never seen. One nome of us had ever even heard of. Even Weiss... Weiss. *deep breathe sounding like he's holding back a sob* Sorry.

Ozpin: Take your time Mr.Arc

Jaune: So we enter the building with me and Ruby deciding it be better with we stuck together. As we walked into the first couple rooms everything was fine but as we entered the factory line their was a mist. A red mist. That damn red mist. It was light at first and we didn't even notice at first. Everyone was getting kinda of droopy. We all thought it was because it was a long day.

Jaune: Then I heard something that sounded like my nephew crying. I looked around and as soon as I was about to ask the others if they could hear ot the lights went out.

Jaune: We all circled together to not let anything attack us. But it was dark and the mist made it hard to hear and think right.

Jaune: The monster quickly attacked knocking most of our weapons away while scattering our group. I think only Pyrrha and Yang still had theirs.

Jaune: I managed to hold on to Nora's hand to stick together. The mist just thickened and we tried to cover our mouths when we heard Ren scream in pain. We rushed in his direction but..

Jaune:...

Ozpin: Mr.Arc we can do this another time.

Jaune: .... He had no head and his legs had been torn off. We could have only been a few minutes away. How did it kill him so fast. He was one of the best fighter I ever knew.

Ozpin: ...

Jaune: We found are friends one by one by following their screams and angry shouts. Weiss was impaled in the chest by Pyrrha's spear. Yang arms were missing and with all the blood around her clearly bled out. Blake had a giant hold in her chest liek she was punched with imhuman force. Pyrrha... all we saw was her upper torso, head, and an arm.

Jaune: As we tried to process suddenly the gas was so thick it was hard to breathe then I saw all the bodies standing near us screaming if I was a real hero I should have done something with the voices of my family insulting me playing over.

Jaune: I couldn't tell what was real anymore. Then suddenly it attacked restlessly. Clawing,swinging, amd throwing us around like dolls. It seemed to change size constantly to avoid are hits. Nora's Aura broke first and I managed to hit it with a broken pipe before being throw into a wall.

Jaune: Last thong I remember was it's slow walk towards me spitting out gas while everyone expect Nora watched and laughed. They laughed and laughed and laughed until it felt like they were yelling in my head. Before it could finish me the wall exploded with team Cfvy quickly attacking amd driving ot away while they seemed to be wearing gas mask.

Jaune: I never saw Ruby.

Nora: I heard it say "With this Gemstone may Salem forgive me" while carrying Ruby away. She was still breathing as it ran.

Nora:.... Are they gone? Really gone?

Ozpin did not answer leaving Nora and Jaune to start crying again.

Jaune: I don't think I'm able to be a huntsman anymore.

Ozpin: I will call your family and let you rest for now.

Ozpin closing the door still hearing their cries.

(OK so that was a lot and I'm probably misspelling a lot of stuff but yeah. Their is more of this story but I can't write because it's just not where my skills lay. If you want to help that be cool but I'm not gonna bug you about it. So in this after Jaune and Nora heal they leave beacon and move out to live with Jaune's family one day getting married and having kids of their own one day.)

So thoughts? Criticism? Ideas? Want to hear it all? Want to know what happens next? Tell everything you thought of and how you would improve the Au idea.

First of all, great work! Really loved what you've put out there and I'd love to see more of this! Though that's gonna be hard since RWBY and JNPR are now dead, either literally or figuratively.

Second, I'm curious where, if anywhere this story goes. To be honest, it kinda feels like those Warhammer RWBY posts I made a while back, specifically the one where JNPR were killed by a Lichtor. I don't think you can really go further with so many characters dead like this, but hey, I've seen more impossible scenarios get resolved.

Last, the way I would improve this AU idea would be to give a follow-up to after this. I mean, sure, Team RWBY is dead with their leader abducted and Team JNPR have been broken beyond repair. I would follow this scenario up with Ruby being taken back to Salem (either she dies, gets corrupted, or escapes) and show us the interaction between Delusion and Salem. Either that or have Beacon respond to this attack by sending the best huntsmen and huntresses out to rescue Ruby, hopefully before it's too late. Third option is showing the impact all these deaths had on people throughout Remnant; parents and friends all reacting to the news that RWBY and JNPR are dead.

Until then...

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 33

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Masterlist

Warning: suicide attempt

Your mother's service is not at a church, but at a funeral parlor.

I'm not religious, (Y/n). I understand why a church might not be the norm, here. You can have your funeral at a parlor in the states, too! But wow, a Dutch funeral parlor is a very impersonal building. And ugly.

If I was your mom, I would be pretty pissed.

If I was your mother, I would be angry at the turnout, too. There are a lot of people, don't get me wrong, but there is your family squarely on one side and her friends squarely on the other. They do not intermingle and the hostility is palpable.

I'd ask you to explain why that is, but you are not speaking to me. At all. You woke up and ignored me. You haven't said a word of English all day. I am lost in a sea of people, all speaking a language I do not understand.

So much for you loving me. Today, I am the man who killed your mother. The look in your eyes when you happen to glance at me says it all.

You hate that I'm here. Even your family is beginning to give me strange looks because I am so clearly unwanted by you.

Everyone sits in uncomfortable folding chairs. The casket is and remains closed. The director speaks a few words, then several people speak. Your grandma carefully unfolds a note, reads only two words and then bursts into tears, so that your grandfather has to come and take her away.

You go last, and you are not like your grandmother. Your eyes are bone dry, and you do not have a note.

You're in a black dress - I've never seen you in a dress, but despite the circumstances, you look beautiful in one - with your hair up in a ponytail. You are wearing a lot of makeup for once. Which is understandable because when you woke up this morning, you were so pale, it was like we were going to your funeral.

The makeup looks like a mask. On your expressionless face, it may as well be armor.

“When they ask me what my mom was like during my childhood,” you begin.

“I close my eyes and try to imagine something normal to respond.

“But all I can see

“Is a very small version of me.

“Reading books to myself

“And putting myself to sleep.”

There is some murmuring. This is not the kind of poetry you are supposed to recite at someone's burial.

You don't care. You continue to speak, in Dutch now, and slowly the regular sadness returns. At one point, something you say makes everyone laugh, and I chuckle along though I don't know what's funny.

When you are done, you sit down next to me and you don't look at me and I should take your hand, I should support you, but you don't want me to.

The director says some more words, and then the procession outside starts. Your mother is lowered into the ground gently. Your grandmother cries too much to be able to throw some dirt, so you do it twice. Once for her, and once for yourself.

You hold your grandmother's hand, not mine.

After it's over, we get in the car with your uncle, and he drives us back to the AirBnB.

You don't shed a tear until we're inside.

But once the door closes behind us, you crumple.

You go into the bedroom and you close the door behind you - Keep out, Joe - and I can hear you crying, sobbing, and I don't know what to do.

I did this to you. I gave you this pain. I truly believe that once the grief dulls, you will be better off, but that doesn't help you now.

If I had not been so obvious and if you had not known I was the one who took your mother from you, I could have hugged you and made things better.

As things are, I am helpless.

Things go quiet after a while. I let them be quiet for about an hour before I go knocking at the door.

“(Y/n)?”

No answer.

“Do you want some food, or something? I could heat you up some soup.” You haven't eaten all day, after all.

No answer, still.

The door is not locked. I open it slowly, softly, and peek in.

You are on the bed. Your back is to me but I think you are asleep. You are on top of the blankets and you're still wearing your black dress and your shoes, I should take them off and tuck you in.

Then, my eye falls onto something. I don't know why. It's been there for three days.

It's a bottle of pills Nadia gave you on New Year's. She said they would help you sleep, and you told her, firmly, that you weren't planning on taking her medication. That you knew what road that led down.

I barely paid attention to the exchange at the time. You are not a drug addict and I did not think anything of it.

But I have the worst feeling.

I walk over slowly, uncertainly. Your nightstand feels lightyears away but then I'm reaching out, picking up the bottle.

It's empty.

Everything goes out of focus.

I am feeling your neck for a pulse, listening for your breathing. I am carrying you. I am in the shower with you, sitting on the floor underneath the cold spray with you in my lap.

“Don't do this to me,” I hear myself say. “Don't you do this to me.”

My fingers should not be going down your throat and you should not be puking out all that is inside you, which is water and bile and pills. I pull you to my chest and I rock us and I think I have saved your life but you need a doctor, a hospital, and I don't know what number to call.

The first thing I'm aware of that doesn't happen in flashes, is being in the living room, dripping wet, and calling Nadia. I use your phone and Nadia answers with something in Dutch.

I don't know where you are. I don't know where I left you.

“Nadia? It's Joe,” I say. “How do I call nine one one? (Y/n) just tried to kill herself.”

[fantasyandshit]

The true monsters

Type:Oneshot

Pairing: Dean and Sam Winchester x sister reader

Summary: The winchesters have hunted monsters practically their whole lives but when the youngest is taken, they find out who the true monsters are.

(I know I suck at summaries)

*****I usually don’t include warnings mainly because I forget but this is graphic guys so please be careful and don’t read if uncomfortable, this includes themes of violence, force feeding, kidnapping, torture, etc.*****

“I’m going for food.” I catch the keys Dean throws at me- my motorcycle of course. I’d never get to drive baby, especially not alone.

Sighing I leave the motel room and head to the 24/7 diner down the road, it’s late, about 1:30 am so no one’s really out except the people at the bar next door as I walk into the brightly lit Diner. “And what’s a beautiful lady like you doing out here alone?” I turn to see a very clearly drunk old man. I choose to ignore him as I turn back to the counter and wait for my food.

Finally after sitting awkwardly with the man staring from across the room I get the food and leave, failing to notice the man that steps from the shadows of the alley behind me. As I pull my phone from my pocket to text my brothers a cloth is shoved over my mouth and nose and after struggling for a moment, all goes black.

———

*Deans Pov*

“Did Yn send you a weird text too?”

“Uhh no? What does it say?” Sam leans over my shoulder as I show him the text from our sister.

Rug rat 🐀

He- foo-

“Yeah that is weird, maybe it’s just a glitch in her phone or something? I’m sure everything’s fine.”

I hesitate a moment, “Yeah, yeah you’re right.” Somehow even as I say it, I can’t shake the unease that settles in my gut.

———

*Yns pov*

I wake up in a dark, musty room, I’m laying on a table with my arms, legs, chest, hips, and head held down by thick leather straps and a cloth gag sits in my mouth. My eyes move frantically as the fog slowly leaves my head. “Good, you’re awake.” A figure from the corner moves forward before I feel a cool touch run down my torso, that’s when I notice I’m completely bare. My eyes frantically search the man’s face, recognizing the drunk from earlier. “Don’t panic darling, everything is gonna be just fine.”

A muffled scream leaves my lips as his fist connects with my kidney twice before he steps away. As the man leaves I take in the room, in the far wall there looks to be a table, bottles and needs lined across it varying in size and color, I try and fail to struggle in my restraints as the cold metal of the table bites into my skin. “Now now love, no need to struggle.” Another man steps into the room, followed by the drunk from earlier. “I should explain, see me and my boy here we needed a new test subject, and when we saw a pretty lady like you all by herself, well we just couldn’t resist.”

I try to process what he means but my brain is still slow, that’s when I feel it- a prick in my neck before fire burns through my veins, spreading rapidly. I thrash and writhe, muffled screams and sobs leave my lips as tears and drool cover the gag, slipping down my chin.

———

*Deans Pov*

“Ok, something definitely isn’t right, it’s been two hours and Yn isn’t home.”

“You’re right. We’ll go to the authorities later, this doesn’t seem like an us case. We can drive around and look for her though.” Sam seems too calm in this situation, although that’s always how he’s been while me and Yn were always hot headed.

Me and Sam decide to drive over to the diner, “Sammy.” My voice is weak as I call my brother over.

“Oh god.” A shaky breathe leaves him as we see our sisters motorcycle on the side of the road, her keys, wallet, and phone on the pavement beside it.

———

*Yns pov*

I don’t know how long has passed at this point, three hours, three days, I don’t know anymore. My body is numb from all the injections of who knows what and the beatings I’ve taken, there’s currently a tube down my throat held in place by a block to keep my mouth open as food is forced into my stomach because I wouldn’t eat, an IV runs more drugs into my bloody, bruised body. Everything hurts as I lay on the metal table, rats squeaking in the corner.

“We found her!” The door is busted open and people rush to me, “hey, hey we’ve got you.” It’s a man, he has a vest with the letters FBI on him, a hun in his belt as he gets me from the restraints. “This may hurt a bit ok?” He grabs the tube currently in my throat and pulls, causing a spluttering choke to leave my forcefully parted lips before the block is removed after the tube. next to go is the IV before I’m carefully picked up and rushed outside into an ambulance. That’s when it all goes black.

———

My eyes blink open as i feel rough sheets beneath me, panic surges through me as i feel something in my mouth and needles in my skin. I start ripping at whatever my weak body can, not understanding where I am. “Hey, hey. Yn you’re ok, you’re ok. You’re safe, you’re in a hospital and you’re safe. The tube is to help you breathe, the IVs are helping keep you stable. I need you to calm down for me.”

A strangled cry leaves me as I take in my oldest brother, care and concern in his eyes as he looks at me. Nurses and doctors flood the room and shortly after the tube down my throat is replaced by something in my nose. “Dean?” My voice is horse from lack of use.

“Yeah baby, yeah it’s me. I’m here. Sammy uh- Sammy went to go get some food and coffee, he should be back soon.”

“How long?”

“Look kid I-“

“How. Long?”

A heavy sigh escaped his lips, “two weeks, you were out while here for another week after that. God I’ve been worried sick kid, that doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

Surprise hits me, two weeks, those freaks had me for two weeks. I squeeze the hand that holds mine as I look to Dean with teary eyes. “You’ll make it through this. You’re strong. I’ll be here every step of the way. I love you sis.”

“I love you to De.” With that I nod off into a peaceful sleep, my brothers hand being used as a pillow.

—————

I know it kind of sucks but here you go. I hope you enjoyed!

[missnancywritesfanfic]

A Good Enough Place

Character: Wanderer(Scaramouche) x Reader

Contains: High-Functioning Depressed Reader, light angst/extreme comfort, self-indulgent, mentions of suicide/suicidal thoughts

A/N: I am at a low rn and need my darling man 💗 No, I did not edit

--

You'd learned about Wanderer through the akademiya, you're new to the institute and happened to work on a mutual project that went on for a number of months. He wasn't particularly mean, or arrogant as people say. Okay, maybe a little arrogant...but despite his blatant transparency, you found it refreshing. In fact, you had a similar effect on him as well.

His insults never seemed to phase you. He would call out your lax attitude, your weird unfiltered thoughts (few of them quite morbid), or even moments of laziness. You threw it right back at him, not bothering with surface level insults (those are for when you're both in a better mood), his contradictory behaviour is his most obvious trait.

For someone who despises humanity, he tolerated them, lived with them, even made something akin to friends with a few. It was cute. You empathized. You didn't have any particular love for humanity either, you're not sure when it happened but a barrier was set up between you and the rest of the world. Despite actively participating in the social circles of Sumeru, you couldn't help but feel alien.

He noticed it about you. The distant look in your eye whenever you were having a conversation, like you weren't present despite all your efforts. But just like always, you responded with a shrug and a smile, "Yeah, I guess I do that sometimes. Not sure why, feels comfortable."

Does it? Being so disconnected from reality?

He quickly picked up on how frequently it would occur. Sometimes, even outside of conversation, he'll catch you in your own little world. In a corner alone studying or having a walk and listening to music. Not quite your natural state, but getting closer, because once someone catches your attention the mask goes back on.

The day he found out about your condition, it was late when he was leaving the Akademiya grounds. He saw you completely alone near the railing. And you were completely still, a vacant look on your face.

He didn't feel the need to disturb your peace, until tears welled up in your eyes and you keeled over, hiding behind the railing the fetal position. Your once calm expression suddenly distorted into horror in and agony. You're suppressing the shiver in your body as you choke back a sob.

His body moves before he can process what's happening. He suddenly finds himself by your side, crouched down to your height, a hand on your back. You sniffle and try wiping your tears away, already trying to piece that facade back together.

"No no, I'm fine. No worries!" You choke out a laugh. "I was just admiring the view and thinking about how pretty everything looked, you know?"

You weren't lying. He knew you weren't. But that didn't stop the unease stirring in his chest. He led you someplace private so that you calm down, but it did take time until you.

Enough for him to make tea for the two of you. The entire time, after your breakdown, you were completely silent. Running a strategy in your mind on how you could convince him it wasn't what it looked like. He didn't need to worry or have any reason to believe you were less than functional.

Unfortunately for you, he didn't even give you a chance.

"I'm only going to ask once, and know that I'll never ask again if you try weasling your way out of this. What were you doing?"

"I already told you. It was nothing."

You didn't even hesitate. You looked him in the eye from across the table and he could clearly see, you were already trying to cut yourself from this conversation.

"You balling your eyes out isn't nothing. In fact, some would say that's not normal."

"I get emotional sometimes." You snap back. "Is it really that surprising?"

He doesn't respond. He takes a sip of his tea. You knew he didn't believe you for a second. This isn't working.

"What do you want me to say?"

This isn't working at all.

"I was just looking at the view. It was pretty and I was thinking, Hey how amazing would it be to be bird and fly!"

How ridiculous. The thought crossed both your minds. He silently watched as you suddenly became discontent with your own words. You scowl and cover your eyes, taking a deep breath and contemplating. You push your hair back, tears brimming as you struggled to speak.

"Then I just went somewhere else, one thought led to another, I realized how far the ground was from thar balcony...and I thought..."

Your lip quivers. You avert your eyes. You feel disgusted at the sense of relief that accomponied your words.

"How great would it be if I could be literally anything else but this right now..."

Ah. So that's it. He sets his cup back down, doing his best not to grip it too tight.

"So yeah, that's all it was. Congrats, you happy now?"

Were you expecting him to say yes? You scowled when he looked offended at your question, no matter how bitter it was. He took it to heart.

"You think I'd be happy at the prospect of you killing yourself? You must think quite lowly of me."

You opened your mouth to snap at him, but shut it just quickly. You both sit in silence. He leans on the table, tapping at the wood before sighing.

"Are you always like this?"

"Sometimes." You mumble. "When I'm not thinking about it...But when I do?" You chuckle, staring at your blurry reflection in your tea cup."It's very easy to believe that life's a lie, so am I, and maybe I should no longer participate."

You continue.

"I don't want to die. I'm just finding it progressively harder to convince myself otherwise. Even when deep down, I know I want to live."

He watches you slowly raise the cup to your mouth before giving up halfway and setting it back down. You couldn't stomach consuming anything right now.

"Do you mind not telling anybody about this? Last thing I wanna deal with is a bunch of counsellors and inspirational posters, it gets really annoying real quick."

"I don't see much of a reason to hide it. Not like the akademiya doesn't have it's fair share of scholars on the brink of ruin."

You shoot him a glare.

"Would you be comfortable with me airing out your dirty laundry? Or do you just get a kick out of hurting people you care about?"

"That implies I care about you."

You wordlessly eye the freshly made tea set before you both. Then you give him as questioning look, waiting for him to give an excuse as to why that isn't the case.

You weren't blind and neither was he. The Wanderer was not known to be this attentive to strangers, let alons acquantances. The only other exceptions were Kusanali and The Traveler.

"What a pain..." He groans and takes your untouched tea for himself. "Why not help you move past this?"

You raise an eyebrow. He casually sips your tea.

"You don't have a reason to live, right? We'll just have to find it. Who knows, maybe you have a use in this world. Uncovering that may help you start to feel purpose again."

"Fuck's sake, I don't want to be useful, I just want to be happy again. Is that really so much to ask?"

This is the first time he'd seen you truly angry. Even if it was for a split second, the ire you expressed was raw and undeniably intruiging. Why didn't you show this more? It couldn't possibly be so bad for you to exist in such an emotional state.

His eyes shift to his vision. It still let off a vibrant turquoise glow. A swirl of energy nestled deep inside, which he coveted dearly.

Not too long ago, he'd wanted nothing but to purge all the emotions he'd held onto for centuries. The agony his existence had brought him felt like some sick byproduct, and insisted it be shed away to become something worth greatness. Worth living.

As trivial as your troubles may seem, maybe it wasn't that different from his desire to be a true god. Or rather, there was no difference between his wish to Irminsul and your wish being expressed to him.

"You're asking the wrong guy. But I suppose I've yet to find any semblance of true peace, even with a purpose given to me."

You silently reach out and brush against his free hand. He doesn't stop you from tracing the joints of his hand. You were extremely delicate. A feather's touch and gentle look as you took in the details.

He was cold.

But you didn't have the strength to move away. You're so tired of the barrier between you and the rest of the world. You instead slide your hand fully into his.

"Do you think I'm being stupid?"

"All the time." He smiles. Barely. But it's there. "But does it really matter what I think? If you're the one walking the path?"

His words click in your mind. If you want happiness, focus on finding it, regardless of what others wish. He really didn't mind the thoughts plaguing you, he wasn't perfect with his words but you knew they were genuine. It made you feel a bit warmer inside.

Obviously, easier said than done but...having the reassurance. It helped.

"Guess not..." You squeeze his hand. "Could you be there with me? Just for a little while."

"I can't promise to be by your side forever. Eventually our paths may split apart. But I guess until then, I'll see what I can do.

You don't smile when he squeezes your hand back. You bite it back along with your tears.

"That's good enough."

[lilyfraci]

Merman Kokushibou x Fem! Reader (PART 2)

PART2 IS HERE👑

You can't feel anything and you felt like you were floating on clouds 9. Blood drooling down to your temple. What happened? Where are the sailors? Are they okay? Where are they? Is max okay?

I dont remember…

"Don't forget me… And I won't forget you either… "

Huh? A voice? It sounds so different but i know its clearly a guy type. Who is it? It sounds like a melody to my ears.

You tried to process everything even in this unconscious state, trying to connect all of your cells back together.

"I would forever stare into your enchanting eyes… So beautiful.. Just like you… "

This is so heavenly to listen such a soft song, but am i dreaming? If not… Then who is it?

You feel yourself finally getting consciousness as you groaned a little, alerting the person who was singing. You pry yur eyes open slowly but your vision are still blurry and your head starts to get a headache making you even groan louder and louder by any seconds.

Suddenly you hear someone screaming, its man's voice and you recognize it. It was the knights and to mention, you hear a loud splash.

"She's alive! The princess is alive! Alert the king!"

👑

"I got myself weak again. " "… " "I wanna be yours, and you'll be mine. "

👑

Everything was going smoothly, birds singing and a sun was pretty bright outside making the flowers bloom beautifully. An unconscious princess was laying down to her bed, comfortably and peacefully.

You woke up with a headache and a bandage on your head. The sunlight illuminate the room brightly making you squint your eyes and groan in tiredness. Yur body felt weak and a little bit of in pain.

"W-what happened..?" You groaned before rubbing the temple of your head.

You hear your door slowly opening as you turn your head to it and saw your dad peeking his head and was shocked to see you fully awake as he immediately rushes at you with a grateful and a guilt expression and held both of your hands.

"My daughter!! You're awake! Dear god… Thank you! Im glad that you made it out alive.. " He spoke with such happiness and tears running down to his cheeks before looking down.

"I'm so sorry, my daughter… I'm so sorry that this happened to you because of me! If this stupid of mine didn't existed then you would be fine and good! I felt so bad for what you've gone through… "

He looked down as he sobs quietly, trying to gulp down his breakdown.

Your face went soft as you smiled before putting a hand on your father's head and patting it.

"I'm fine dad…. And i already forgave you, please don't ever feel ashamed of it." You said gracefully.

And that, both you and your father hugged, enjoying this moment together.

👑

The ocean was always so beautiful and bright, as if it was a second version of heaven. But deep inside, there was dark and evil under it and it's true,

The ocean can be both good and bad.

. . .

"You know… That human will never ever loved you back! Just look at yourself!"

"Shut your mouth, ugly eyes. You're annoying me. "

"Awhh!! Why are you both always so cold and mean to-"

"That doesn't matter to you, if i loved her then do not interfere because you're not apart of this."

"Oh… Is that so? Besides… Don't you think humans are all the same? Imagine if she sees your eyes! Would she be terrified?"

"Ugh, im leaving. This is just a waste of time. "

HII!! IM BACK! SORRY IF THIS WAS SHORT BUT TRUST ME, I'LL WORK EVEN MORE FASTER AND HARDER FOR YOU GUYS!!

PART 3 is in progress 👑

[phoenixiancrystallist]

I couldn't help but agree so much on your tags on my gifset of Frey not immediately forgiving Cinta. It adds so much to her as a person. For years she created this image of her mother being a cruel woman, for bloody 21 years. It's not something you can toss away in a blink of an eye.

And like, we see her struggle with that so much after that revelation from tanta Prav. She can't or doesn't want to face that image, because the hurt she thought could only get worse (like opening up old wounds?).

But when faced with Cinta you see a tiny bit of that resentment, but also that yearning of trying to get to know her. A sense of relieve and yet doubt (when she is about to take Cinta's hand. Oooof. The feels).

It's such a deep things of feels and I am bloody feeling the feels. There is such a thick layer of depth right there and *sobs*.

The entire thing is handled so well, imo. She had all that time after Prav to wrap her head around who her mom is, and wrestle with all of those horrible feelings and put them into a perspective she never had context for before then. I distinctly remember sobbing "she did it to save you!" so many times while Frey was questioning why Cinta—who personifies love—abandoned her, tears streaming down my face because I'm a huge crybaby, lol.

But for Frey, it's gotta be so, so hard to come to that conclusion when all she's known her whole life is that she wasn't wanted. All those years of anger and grief, all the resentment building up anew now that she has a name and a face to aim it at instead of a nebulous hypothetical figure. It's no wonder she reacts the way she does! I'd blow up, too!

And later, when she learned how deeply, desperately she was wanted, and how much it tore Cinta apart to send her away after essentially no time with her, only to watch Athia's doom follow her through the Torana. You can clearly see Frey just sitting there and processing all this new information, rearranging the worldview she'd carried with her for as long as she can remember. And you can see the moments of panic, where she's completely overwhelmed by everything she's learning about herself, about Cinta, about her dad. She's bombarded with emotional revelation after emotional revelation in rapid succession with no time to reconcile them with everything she'd believed for her whole life.

There's so much emotional depth in this game and it's all handled in a way that I can wholeheartedly believe. It's messy, it's irrational, it's so profoundly human and it's so, so beautifully told. Frey has every reason to feel the way she does and she reacts in a way that an actual human person would. She's allowed to feel and express her emotions through the entire story and there's not a single moment I can recall where her humanity is pushed aside for the sake of the narrative. Frey and her story are handled so, so well and my only complaint is we probably won't get a sequel.

[galaxyofhair]

Link’s Grief

DON’T READ THIS POST IF YOU DIDN’T PLAY TOTK

===============================

I love thinking about all of the little conversations we don't see between Link, Zelda, and everyone in BOTW/TOTK. Link's traumatic entrance into both of these games had to have fucked him up real good, and I wish we could have seen more of Link mourning and processing some of the death that he encounters throughout both games.

So in that vein of thought, I wrote a short scene regarding Link and grief--yes it gets undone at the end of the story but I feel like there's got to be a hot minute in TOTK where you (the player) and Link are both definitely like "Oh, so Zelda is effectively dead, right?" Because, like--that's where I was for a minute. I suspected they might reverse it at the end of the story, but I didn't know what would happen so in my head I imagined what it would be like to watch Link mourn Zelda after discovering her sacrifice.

===============================

"It's weird to think that some of my first memories of you aren't actually my first memories of you. They're just the surviving memories."

Link sits on a white surface, the blue sky behind him. The wind whistles softly as he looks out beyond our view. He looks strangely frail, each breath takes a little effort.

"For a while I wasn't sure what to think of you--What little I did remember, with time and help, was that you could be kind-of... a royal bitch."

Link chuckles, and sniffs. A tear rolls down his cheek.

"You could be so angry with me, and I never understood why. You hated me, and I hated you..."

Link brings his left hand up to his face to hide his breaking expression. His right hand slowly strokes a soft carpet of white fur.

"I suppose there are worse ways to go," He says in a cracked voice, "You gave everything for the gift I carry into battle. I see you often, and I always smile--even while my heart is broken. In a way, you're always here..."

The camera zooms out a little more, a large blue slanted shape sits behind Link. The ground he sits on is clearly white fur being jostled gently in the wind.

"...but you are also always gone. The person I loved is gone and... and I miss you so much. I failed you and now you're gon--"

Link breaks down into a sob, "I'm lost without you!"

As the camera zoom out, we can see that he's sitting on the head of the Light Dragon, Zelda. Zelda wafts slowly through the air, seemingly aware of Link on her head. Link rolls onto his side and presses his face into her. He cries for a while, and then slowly regains his composure. He lays there on his side, running his hand through Zelda's white fur.

"If you don't mind, I'll just... be here for a while. I'll understand if you don't want to talk... But I am not yet ready to go."

Link falls asleep and in his dreams he lives a thousand lifetimes as Zelda's hero.

He awakens to a loud groan. It is night now, and only the dragon's golden glow lights up the darkness. Link sits up--Zelda is shifting her head around. With each little swing, she moves more and more. Link seems confused at first, but quickly he realizes what's about to happen.

"Zelda, wait--hold on!"

Zelda suddenly whips her head violently, sending Link flying.

"ZELDAAAA!!!" Link shouts as he's thrown into the air. Link falls backwards towards the ground, tears ripped out of his eyes by the wind. Link closes his eyes...

At least she's safe now, He thinks. Link flips over, a look of determination and resolve on his face as he dives back down towards Hyrule.

[unovanhunny]

Ooooh poor Ingo, Emmet really flubbed this one, how would he show Ingo that he actually does care, does Emmet beg for forgiveness? Who confesses first?

The silence that sat between them was heavy and thick, the tension weighing on them both. Ingo couldn't look at Emmet. He couldn't stand to see his expression, to hear his words that confirmed his fears. His eyes burned with tears, his cheeks burned with anger and anxiety. He just wished Emmet would leave so he could finish packing.

"Ingo...?"

The sound of his name made him flinch. Why did Emmet sound confused, concerned? He clearly hadn't shown that he cared, so why did he sound like he did? Ingo still didn't look at him, wiping his eyes and turning his body away instead.

"No, really, Ingo. What? Do... You honestly think I hate you?" No, no, he wasn't allowed to sound pained at that. Ingo should be the only one hurt here.

"What else am I supposed to think? I know how you treat Nobori. I have seen it... and we have spoken. He is so much like me in so many ways and you... you were willing to be that cruel to him..." Ingo knew that there was a strange and twisted set up of them taking out their desires on the demons who were more than happy to fulfil them. Of course Emmet's rough demeanor and aggressive behavior towards Nobori would reflect his feelings on Ingo.

Emmet's jaw clenched at Ingo's words. Did he think that he would treat a poor reflection - a poor replacement - for Ingo the same way he would treat the genuine article? That anger that he may show was far more directed at himself. He knew he was doing something terrible all this time, that his actions were only hurting Ingo, but the only hate Emmet held in his heart was for himself. But before he could try and form his thoughts into words, Ingo continued.

"And things have been... Terrible between us. Regardless of whether you deny hating me or not. I haven't had a full decent conversation with you in so long. Every time we're together, there is this tension that neither of us is eager to address. Since I am leaving, we can finally bring it out into the open. We have been engaging in sexual intimacy with demons. Demons who resemble the two of us. And... Whatever this has been, the fantasy is over. I am leaving and it is over and we never have to deal with this or each other again. I'm sure you will agree it's for the best."

"No! I do not agree!"

Unlike the aggressive tug from when Emmet first saw him in the process of packing, the embrace from behind was gentle, warm. Emmet wasn't trying to turn him to face him or anything. Just the warmth of Emmet's body against his back. Ingo's breath caught in his lungs and a sudden and surprising sob left him. This wasn't fair. Why did a single embrace crumble the resolve Ingo had to leave? His trembling hands rested on the modest pile of clothing in the suitcase while his sobs became more frequent and consistent. He could hear the quiet words from his brother's voice from behind his ear. Streams of "sorry, I am so sorry" barely audible over his loud pained breathing and tears.

For a few still moments, Emmet held Ingo in his arms, letting him cry it out, his heart clenching in his chest. This was all his fault. Ingo thought he hated him and he wanted to leave and he was crying and it was all His Fault. He needed to be honest. He needed Ingo to know why things have been this way, at least why he has been this way. If he still needed to leave then... Well, he wouldn't stop him.

As Ingo's breaths evened out, his shoulders still shaking slightly with each inhale, Emmet found his resolve to say the things he couldn't say for so long.

"You... Do not have to look at me, but please let me explain myself..." A nod and Emmet breathed deeply through his nose before speaking again. "I... Need to start with an apology. I have been acting terribly and have not spoken to you properly or tried to even let you in on my thoughts. You, of course, know that I was the first to give in to the demons-" Ingo flinched at the words. "- and that I was not exactly... Kind. To Nobori. You think that is because I hate you-" And now he heard a sharp intake of breath. "- but that could not be further from the truth. I took the fall to temptation as a punishment. And I took out my frustration and resentment on the demon. But this frustration and resentment was aimed at myself."

Emmet released his hold on Ingo and took a couple of steps back, gaze falling to the ground between them. Feeling as vast now as it always had, practically insurmountable. "I have been sinful since the beginning, since before the demons made their home in our church. It was not you, so I did not have to treat him gently, preciously. He was not the one I loved, but looked enough like you that I could still find myself falling to physical attraction."

Emmet heard the rustle of clothing and he knew that Ingo had turned sharply to look at him. He still didn't look up. This time, Ingo was the one gripping his shoulders. His eyes met his twins face and he could see the splotchy red on his face, his eyes wet and red and looking very much like someone who had just been crying his heart out. That had been his fault... his eyes fell back to the floor.

"Em... Emmet. Are you trying to tell me that you... Love me? Like, genuinely... Romantically? Even... Sexually?" Ingo's words were broken with uncertainty and uneven breaths. His grip tightened and he gently shook Emmet to make him look at him. His expression was a mix of hopeful and scared and sad and excited. Neutral to anyone who didn't know him, but to Emmet, every nuance was pronounced and obvious.

The answer was obvious. Emmet nodded slowly. "I have loved you and had these sinful thoughts since we first decided to dedicate our lives to the cloth. How could I tell you that my love for God could never surpass my love for you? You were excited and I wanted to stay by your side. Better we should be in a position where no one expects us to find partners and would not hound us to do so."

So Ingo's fear was partially true, that he had dragged Emmet into a life he wouldn't have chosen for himself had he had that choice. He followed so willingly, but was it worth it? "I'm sorry... You followed this life just for me despite knowing what it would mean."

"I could not know you felt the same, so I do not regret the path we chose. I got to stay with you and it was only us and it was wonderful, even if it could not be what I dreamed of." This felt like it was leading to something. Something that would make all of this pain worth it.

"I never meant to hurt you, only myself. I am sorry that I failed in that. Whatever way I can make it up to you, I will. But that means that you cannot leave. Please."

Ingo was silent as he processed. He was certainly canceling his leave now. He would apologise, but his work here clearly wasn't done. Finally he spoke, to assuage Emmet's anxious gaze.

"I don't want you to hurt either, Emmet. I don't want you to hate yourself and I don't want you to find some form of punishment with our own personal demons. This is something we can figure out together, but from now on, we have to be honest with each other. Can you promise that?"

"Yes! I can promise to be more honest!" He could not promise not to hate himself, but that was something they could work on. "And if I am being honest, I would like very much to kiss you now. It is something I have wanted for a very long time."

Ingo seemed to consider this for a moment, and though his eyes were bloodshot with tears and his face was ruddy from various levels of sorrow and affection, Emmet could have sworn that he had never looked so beautiful as he did when be uttered the words "Kiss me."